#sir sin-eater
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Someday I die but not tonight - latest artwork
#heath ledger#the dark knight#joker#10 things i hate about you#patrick verona#casanova#brothers grimm#Jacob grimm#a knights tale#sir ulrich#william thatcher#sir William thatcher#candy#ned kelly#brokeback mountain#black rock#roar#two hands#the patriot#monsters ball#four feathers#the order#sin eater#dog town boys#I'm not there#The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus#I'm heath ledger
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followers.
TAGS. voyeurism, p in v, magical play??, VERY detailed smut, toys, tom riddle (he's his own warning), power play (kinda), 'sir'/'lord' kink, degradation with a hint of praise, overstimming & multiple orgasms
reader's name is not mentioned, feminine pronouns & female anatomy used.
VERY LONG FIC, 1600ish words!
Tom Riddle was not someone to be trifled with. He saw the way his followers stared at her with underlying intentions, the way their eyes raked over his pet's body, lingering in rather specific places. It made him jealous, possessive over the woman he had claimed as his from their years at Hogwarts. He thought that his followers needed a reminder.
"I have called you all here for a... Purpose," he began, dark brown eyes surveying the crowd of masked people sitting before him in Gaunt Manor. He then looked down at his 'lover' in his lap, draped over him in a lazing position as she smirked at Bellatrix who was silently fuming at the sight. He laughed silently and grabbed her thigh, squeezing and teasing at the soft skin, feeling her shiver in his arms. "That purpose," he added after some time, "is to teach you all an important lesson," the words left his mouth slowly, moving his pet from her lazing position to be presented to the masked crowd, perching her up on him like he was her throne, "my lover," he addressed, causing her to look at him through her lashes, he groaned mentally, god, was she fucking beautiful, "do not think I have not noticed the looks of hunger on your faces," he then accused, causing everyone in the room to go stiff.
A brave follower of his, Lestrange, raised his hand to speak, which The Dark Lord graciously gave him permission, "M... M'Lord, I have not sinned, for I am a married man," he tried to argue, his eyes looking at his wife, newly wedded Bellatrix Black.
However, The Dark Lord only laughed, "you have sinned," he countered, voice holding no room for argument, "you Death Eaters will always be a team... A group... Every act you commit is as said group, not individually, why do you think I brand you all with the same mask and mark?" It was a rhetorical question they all knew not to answer, "fear not, this lesson will not be one of pain nor punishment, but of education," he explained further, a smile of malice stretching across his face. He leaned down to his pet who was still perched obediently, "enjoy yourself my love," he whispered in her ear, biting down slightly, cracking an actual loving smile when she squeaked. He looked up at everyone in the room, speaking louder so they could all hear him, "undress, love," were the only words he uttered, them watching as she got up and slowly started to peel off her dress, leaving her in only her bra and underwear before her bra left too. She was about to take off her heels and underwear that connected to her stockings before Tom stopped her.
He grabbed their hips and placed them down on him, sliding her up and down his cock, him having unzipped his pants as she undressed, "you like that, don't you?" he asked, laughing as he slapped her clothed pussy, "you like having them watch us, don't you?" he asked next, frowning slightly when she didn't respond, "well?" he teased, left hand sliding down from her hips to her heat, index finger pressing on her sensitive nub, rubbing in circles.
"y-yes M'Lord!" she cried out, the first words they heard from her in the meeting, and it certainly wouldn't be her last. He chuckled and scooted the chair back, allowing the Death Eaters a full view of what was happening, she moaned loudly as Tom rubbed in another direction, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her breathing became uneven as he summoned a vibrator with wandless magic, turning it on and pressing it to her clit, grinning, Tom turned it up, looking down as she moaned and thrashed in his arms. Seeing her pussy becoming slick, he unclipped the stockings from her panties and tore them off her, making a cooing sound when he saw the string of wetness connecting her and her underwear.
He pressed the vibrator back onto her, hand slipping towards her heat and letting a single finger slip into her, he watched as she moaned slightly at the entrance of fingers, humming in delight as he pressed further, the cool metal of his rings contrasting satisfyingly from her hotness. "Filthy slut," he rasped, seeing her come to her first orgasm, squirting on the table, "look at the mess you made," he sighed, mocking her with malice. He turned the vibrator up, rubbing it faster against her as he added more two more fingers into her pussy, plunging them in and out at a fast pace. "I'm getting tired of holding this," he muttered, wordlessly suspending her and the vibrator in the air, letting all his followers see the display even more, "look at her, dripping, you should be ashamed of yourself. Filthy fucking whore, in front of all these people. Have you no dignity?" she was about to respond, but he shushed her when he added, "but you like it, don't you?" He was right though, she really did. "Do you think you deserve this cock? My holiness?"
He tsked when she cried out a 'Please Sir!', shaking his head as he levitated her back onto him, finally taking the vibrator off of her and sliding his fingers back into her, "even though you're a dirty whore, you've been behaved, so I guess I'll have to reward you, right?" he slapped her lightly across the face, "use your words, dumb fucking cumdump."
"Y-Yes Sir! Please... Please fuck me!" she cried, small tears slipping down her face as his fingers went even faster, curling inside of her as she reached another high, back arching.
"I'll fuck your little cunt so hard," he promised, removing his fingers. He turned her around so her pussy was facing his followers, glistening under the light from the chandelier above. He raised her above his hard cock and slammed her down, a loud moan leaving her lips as he began to thrust up at a fast pace. She kept moaning, screaming with pleasure as he fucked her, free hand going down to slap her clit. Squirting hard, he lifted her up, wickedly smiling as cum and fluid leaked from her pussy.
But he still didn't stop, pulling her harshly back down on him and made her ride his cock at a fast pace, thrusting upwards if she went too slow. "Watch and fucking learn," he addressed the people in the room, and fucked her even deeper, pushing his fingers into her mouth and gagging her, "you-" he breathed heavily, coming closer to his own high, "could never-" his mouth parted slightly as he slammed into her a final time, emptying his cum in her already filled cunt, "fuck her, or love her like I do. You will never be able to live up to me."
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Fanvid Recs - Louis de Pointe du Lac
Here's a list of some awesome fanvids focused on Louis de Pointe du Lac from AMC's version of Interview with the Vampire for Louis month at @iwtvfanevents
This fandom also has a huge number of Louis/Lestat vids (obviously). In an effort to keep the rec lists to a reasonable length, the Loustat vids will have their own list.
General Trigger Warnings (not all apply to every single vid): violence, blood, murder, some gore, fire, domestic violence, suicide.
Allow Me My Odyssey (youtube link) by @jennaflare - Vid set to the conversation in episode three where Daniel and Louis talk about the differences between the 1973 and 2022 interviews, if Louis is a victim, and memory. Made before the season 1 finale. (backgroundmusic by Sea Power)
All the Stars (youtube link) by @jennaflare - Love, let's talk about love. Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or do the feeling haunt you? (music by Kendrick Lamar and SZA)
Anti-Hero by sonicwaffles - It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me (music by Taylor Swift)
cannibal (twitter link) by @peqpouma / jovanoromani - Instrumental with dialogue - “And if you were to come across their diaries and learn, in detail, how and when you failed them, would you share those failures with a brash young reporter?” (music by Marika Hackman)
House of the Rising Sun (youtube link) (AO3 link) by @revolutionarygirlshati / shati - I got one foot on the platform, the other foot on the train. (music by The Animals)
house of the rising sun (youtube link) by @castieldean / angeldeljueves - Oh, mothers, tell your children, not to do what I have done. Spend your lives in sin and misery in the house of the rising sun (music by The Animals)
maneater by @fucklestat - She's a man-eater, make you work hard, make you spend hard // Make you want all of her love (music by Nelly Furtado)
real men (youtube link) by @castieldean / angeldeljueves - Though honestly, sir, all I wanna do is get naked in front of you. So you can look me up and down, and give me your love for being so good (music by Mitski)
self control (youtube) (AO3 link) by @firstaudrina - You take my self, you take my self-control (music by Laura Branigan)
tales of dominica (youtube link) by @lioncunt / wolfkillerlestat - I've been living on an island made from faith // Can't go running back to home, I can't face her face (music by Lil Nas X)
the end of your lives are near by @bedlund - first 3 episodes, I guess that cunt gettin’ eaten (music by Azealia Banks)
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Mister Erik sir i am Trying to listen to the Cataclysm rn >:(
But this video fucks anyway here are my thoughts.
Graviton Energetic mention !!! More Energetic representation please !!! It makes sense that the Sovereign of Gravity is the face, because they could technically Hold Them Together. I like that.
SEER LORE SEER LORE !!!! Being a "fix" for vampires is so COOL !!! and that E'laetum did it !!! and that they can't be turned into vampires !!!! and that they technically have some Sovereignty in them !! SCRUMPTIOUS !!!
I have Such a feeling that This is what Hush's Brother is all about. I could be so wrong. But maybe D'Deridahn puts himself in Blake's body to see to Hush's destruction himself. That'd be cool as fuck. Very much Geist: The Sin-Eaters vibe. But with all-powerful magical gods instead of ghosts.
It makes sense that a Seer is needed because they already have some of Them in their core. So i guess it would be easier to... transfer ? I wonder if that means what little that was there Before is Still There and is stacked on top of D'Deridahn, or if D'Deridahn completely overrides it. Just how scary is this guy gonna be.
I have to admire his true dedication to Bestie after all of this, asking a god and trying to bargain to their face as if he could do literally anything in that situation. Still trying to save their life. It's impressive.
"You already hear the song of ruin, don't you ? It is your end. It is the veil drawing you in." Okay but this is metal as fuck.
Oouguguh this whole thing was So Cool. Things are getting Delicious around here, i'm excited to see the threads come together.
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted spoilers#moon's thoughts#redacted the balance#redacted blake#If you understood my old ttrpg reference I love you forever. By the way.#Time to jump back in to Cataclysm !!
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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
ANTI'S DO NOT INTERACT
(this is your only warning)
fiction is separate from reality, if you do not like my ships, leave me alone. i am a pro-shipper and anti-harassment. i believe in letting people engage in safe coping mechanisms.
let me introduce my f/o's, some i've had since elementary/middle school, and others are more recent ! sharing is fine. i'd love to hear about other's s/i's and interactions with my f/o's. also, some of these characters are aged-up to be my age or a little older (if they are underage in canon).
also i have a /p or /d (dislike) relationship with most of the characters my f/o's are connected to.
• ootori kyouya (ohshc)
• hei (darker than black)
• train heartnet (black cat)
• sam winchester (spn)
• jasper whitlock (twilight)
• viktor (arcane)
• caitlyn (arcane)
• loki laufeyson (mcu)
• alhaitham (genshin impact)
• baizhu (genshin impact)
• kaedehara kazuha (genshin impact)
• zhongli (genshin impact)
• neuvillette (genshin impact)
• dehya (genshin impact)
• astarion (baldur's gate 3)
• halsin (baldur's gate 3)
• shadowheart (baldur's gate 3)
• tsukishima kei (haikyuu)
• oikawa tooru (haikyuu)
• arthur curry (dc)
• sir thomas sharpe (crimson peak)
• fushiguro megumi (jjk)
• kamo noritoshi (jjk)
• miguel o'hara (atsv)
• kylo ren/ben solo (star wars)
• marc spector/jake lockley/steven grant (moon knight)
• sebastian michaelis (black butler)
• todoroki shouto (bnha)
• midoriya izuku (bnha)
• shinsou hitoshi (bnha)
• tomioka giyuu (demon slayer)
• l lawliet (death note)
• death the kid (soul eater)
• franken stein (soul eater)
• yamazaki sousuke (free!)
• tachibana makoto (free!)
• shibuya kazuya (ghost hunt)
• gray fullbuster (fairy tail)
• casshern (casshern sins)
• aonuma shun (shinsekai yori)
• asahina satoru (shinsekai yori)
• lie ren (rwby)
• blake belladonna (rwby)
• professor ozpin (rwby)
• levi ackermann (snk)
• junpei yoshino (jjk)
• hisirdoux casperan (tales of arcadia)
• keith kogane (voltron)
• könig (modern warfare)
• helia (the winx club)
• fred-104 (halo saga)
this list will be updated as i find new f/o's or remember old ones !
#fictional other community#oc x canon#self insert#self ship#f/o#f/o community#self-ship community#f/o x s/i#s/i x canon#s/i community#s/i#self ship positivity#self ship community#self shipper#self shipping#selfship community#fictional other#f/o content
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Thancred is the real 'gunbreakers are ffxiv version of vampire hunters' joe. He learned gunbreaking right before getting teleported to The First, spent five years there & those five years were spent hunting Sin Eaters.
Sir, the vibes are IMMACULATE with you.
#musings [lore; ideas and aesthetics]#(ppl rping thancred. consider a vampire hunter au for him. that shit is on FLECK)
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2022 Roundup - books read
Fiction
An Offer from a Gentleman - Julia Quinn
The Sin Eater - Megan Campisi
Romancing Mr Bridgerton - Julia Quinn
Wandering Stars - Sholem Alcehiem
A Study in Scarlet Women - Sherry Thomas
To Sir Phillip, with love - Julia Quinn
Once There Were Wolves - Charlotte McConaghy
A Conspiracy in Belgravia - Sherry Thomas
Binti - Nnedi Okorafor
The Starless Sea - Erin Morganstern
The Hollow of Fear - Sherry Thomas
The Art of Theft - Sherry Thomas
Ghosts of Sherwood - Carrie Vaughn
Heirs to Locksley - Carrie Vaughn
Murder on Cold Street - Sherry Thomas
Persuasion - Jane Austen (re-read)
Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen (re-read)
Miss Moriarty, I Presume? - Sherry Thomas
Love and Friendship (and other writings) - Jane Austen
That makes 19 - my goal for the year was to read more diverse authors/stories and an effort was made, even if I did revert back to my comfort zone of historical fiction and re-reading some Austen.
I'm not sure why I stuck with the Bridgerton novels as long as I did, seeing as I found them mostly frustrating. I started out really enjoying the Lady Sherlock novels, however they unfortunately became a series of diminishing returns for me.
The Sin Eater was probably my favourite novel this year, something completely original and interesting and that has stuck with me. Once There Were Wolves had a really interesting premise but didn't really have the payoff, and The Starless Sea was a strange one because it seemed particularly geared to my interests and yet I just didn't vibe with it.
Non-Fiction
Top End Girl - Miranda Tapsell
Celtic Myth - Kevin Eyres
Celtic Myths - Jake Johnson
Troy - Stephen Fry
What People Wore When - Melissa Leventon
Under the Banner of Heaven - Jon Krakauer
Victoria The Queen - Julia Baird
Medieval Costume Armour and Weapons - Eduard Wagner, Zoroslava Drobna, and Jan Durdik
Scarred: How I escaped NXIVM, the cult that bound my life - Sarah Edmondson
Don’t call it a Cult: The shocking story of Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM - Sarah Berman (re-read)
Finding the Mother Tree: Uncovering the wisdom and intelligence of the forest - Suzanne Simard
Out of the Corner - Jennifer Grey
1001 Arabian Nights Volume 1 - translated by Malcom C Lyons (partial)
That's 13 - some fascinating non-fiction this year, from actor memoirs, to myths and legends, to my continued interest in cults and cult-adjacent material.
In particular Under the Banner of Heaven, which I sought out after I watched the tv adaptation with Andrew Garfield and was extremely compelling, and Finding the Mother Tree, a super interesting exploration of the connectivity of the forest.
That's 32 total for 2022, less than my goal but who really cares.
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Sir, I have known sin eaters exist for precisely one (1) whole day now, and even I can tell you that's a load of bullshit. I don't know what Vauthry's game is yet - I haven't even met the man - but I know it's bad business.
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The Sin-Eater: Shirou Playlist
I give easement and rest now to thee, dear man. Come not down the lanes or our meadows. And for thy peace I pawn my own soul. Amen.
- Prayer of the Sin-Eater
A mix for the gentleman criminal with a martyr complex.
Dei Gratia (Kamelot)
Sub sole nihil novi est
Ad aspera per aspera
Quairite primum regnum dei
Antebellum memento mori
Sing Along (The Peculiar Pretzelmen)
I'm better at goodbye than just ever being good
You know I'd saw off my own leg just to spite my better foot
I got a satchel full of sorrows and I've carried my share of crosses
And I'm not exactly proud of the times I've cut my losses.
I Should Fly (Vermillion Lies)
I've been thinking for a while that I should fly
Tired of walking on my feet
The branches are low and the ground is hard
And the view is much nicer from the sky
From up in the sky, they're just people
But from here, they're liars, cheaters, and thieves
Broken (Shadow Gallery)
I feel so lost and so alone in this room tonight
Is nothing ever going to change?
I've lost my way, I need somebody to help me write out my next page
Where I ride into the sunset, I wait for the dawn
I might have been a hero, a king and not just a pawn
Shiny Things (Tom Waits)
Leave me alone, you big ole moon
The light you cast is just a liar
You're like the crows, 'cause if it glows
You're dressed to go, you guessed I know
You'll always cling to shiny things
The Bullet (Devil Makes Three)
Well, he opened up a shop at the age of nineteen
Stealing anything the eye could see
Said, "gather 'round you people, anything you need
I'll put my name down on the ledger, you put the word out on the streets."
The Helm of Ned Kelley (Blackbird Raum)
Like a fist clutching bread just to hoard and withhold
Like the grain that they locked in the silo
We'll be eating soup of stone 'til what we grow is what we own,
But we won't steal from the land what's freely given
Tear up the deeds to the land, throw the debts into the furnace,
Debts to God to the banks and to the landlord
Heroes Dress in Black (Blues Saraceno)
Well, I know my soul is on fire
As I turn this withered shade of grey
And I find on my way to death and happiness
That my heroes dress in black
So I pray to my God for salvation
As I suffer these wicked outlaw ways
And I turn to those I pass upon my reckoning
‘Cause my heroes, my heroes dress in black
God's Gonna Cut You Down (Johnny Cash)
Well, you may throw your rock
Hide your hand
Work in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What is done in the dark shall be brought to the light
Black Soul Choir (16 Horsepower)
I will forgive your wrongs
I am Abel
But for my own, I feel great shame
I would offer a brick to your head, boy
If I were Cain
White Noise (Murder By Death)
Meet me in the valley
See me pass on the street
Find me in the garden
Flowers trampled ‘neath my feet
You’ve heard the stories of me
You know what I can do
I take the embers of man’s anger
And there’s nothing I can’t spin them into
Cloth (Strawfoot)
I am a man of cloth, but not without my sin
I hear the devil’s knock, I always let him in
Temptation is my left hand, salvation is my right
I wander through the darkness, but I always bring the light
The World is Not My Home, Sir (Reverend Glasseye)
And if my countrymen be brothers
They’ll sing of me your deeds
They’ll sing to me in joyous tones
And in my time of need
And one day you will find me
And when at last He comes
I’ll tell you of my secret
That the world is not my home
Lord, I Seen Evil! (Flip Cassidy and the Junkyard Gospel)
There's a lock that's made of gold on Heaven's gate
Oh, there's a lock that's made of gold on Heaven's gate
If I'm lucky I could pick it
Slide on by without no ticket
Well, there's a lock that's made of gold on Heaven's gate
Hang 'Em High (Nick Nolan)
I've been running since I was born without anywhere to go
Trading shots with the Devil himself and handing in my soul
I won't go down without a fight 'cause I know I'm gonna die
Against the Tide (Celldweller)
Another storm you're left to fight alone
I'm sorry son, you're reaping what you've sown
Under the waves and sinking like a stone
Remember, son, you're reaping what you've sown
No Roses (The Builders and the Butchers)
I was born in a flood of tears, my parents much to late in years
My daddy was once a good boy, but he got lost in the dust
Ain't no roses on my grave, put me in the cold, cold ground
Meet me in the morning, and watch as the winter rain comes pouring down
#hypmic oc#playlist#hypnosis mic oc#nagasaki division#shirou sonozaki#this is my favorite playlist i've ever done i should put this out after pt 2 of the drama track but i can't wait
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BBTAG Alt Voice Actor Powers
Something dumb I have been doing is looking at the various voice actors of the characters in the BBTAG franchises and imagining "What if these characters had powers/abilities/skills/aesthetics from other characters that their VAs have "portrayed?
Here are some examples, using both English and Japanese VAs using the 4 main protags of the first 4 fates
Ragna the Bloodedge, English VA: Patrick Seitz, Japanese VA: Tomokazu Sugita
A lot of good choices for Ragna, for his English VA there is Scorpion from Mortal Kombat and Endeavor from MHA if you want to Fire to give him the opposing element to Jin's Ice. He is also Cursed Arm Hassan from Fate if you want to lean into his evil arm. Him having Crow's Branch of Sin: Crow Claw from Deadman Wonderland did seem like a cool blade-based power as well. Griamore's Wall magic from Seven Deadly Sins would be a good idea for more defense/variety, and many others are just a lot more but those are the ones that stand out to me.
For his Japanese VA. The best one I can think of is Kensei Muguruma from Bleach one of the Visoreds. His Bankai really sticks out to me as getting bladed knuckles with explosive punches. Ragna does go pretty hand to hand in gameplay but I do feel like whenever we see him fighting in anything animated he just fights like Ichigo just without being able to fly).
Yu Narukami, English VA: Johnny Yong Bosch, Japanese VA: Daisuke Namikawa
His English VA has plenty of other protagonists in his repertoire. Ichigo from Bleach and Nero from Devil May Cry, Guren Nash from Tenkai Knights I would probably only take the wolf motif from. Lio Fotia from Promare if only because of the cool armor the Burnish have in that movie.
For his Japanese VA, there is Eustass Kid from One piece who has the Magnet Magnet Devil Fruit and I did have the idea of if Yu got an EXS ability or Semblance it'd be Electromagnetism (due to his ability to "attract and bond with" many people. Jellal Fernandes from Fairy Tail's Heavenly Body Magic would also be interesting. I have seen someone make a joke about him sharing a VA with Waver Velvet/Lord El-Melloi II/Anime Snape from the Fate series as well, but the powers he'd get from here would probably be Zhuge Liang's abilities from Fate/Grand Order. Momoshiki Otsutsuki from Boruto I would only look at if you just want to go full OP. His Japanese Va also voiced Matt Ishida in the new Digimon Adventure Reboot and I just think that him voicing the one wielding the Crest of Friendship is very fitting.
Hyde Kido, English VA: Kyle McCarley, Japanese VA: Ryohei Kimura
This is the hardest one to do because every other series has had a few games to their name to flesh out a character and their motifs and powers, so I am kind of working with nothing here.
For the English VA, With how cursed the Void Powers are I partially lean towards Sir Percedal from Wakfu (at least in Season 3) for the most part. For his Japanese VA, there really isn't much I can single out here due to how little UNIB's story has progressed, but to throw some of them out there: Wonder-Red from Wonderful 101, Eugene Sims from inFAMOUS Second Son, Sorey from Tales of Zestria, and Howzer from Seven Deadly Sins.
Ruby Rose, English VA: Lindsay Jones, Japanese VA: Saori Hayami
RWBY characters have half the problem that UNIB characters have in that a lot of the English cast haven't done anything outside of RWBY, there are exceptions but for the most part, you look up their IMDB pages and you'll mostly get Rooster Teeth stuff.
The only other two roles Lindsay has played are Imina from Overlord and Venessa Kimball from Red vs Blue.
For her Japanese VA, we have Anya Hepburn from Soul Eater NOT and her Halberd skills, Himawari Uzumaki from Boruto also has a unique eye power in the form of the Byakugan, Atalanta from Fate and her Archery skills translated into Ruby's sniping might be fitting and she IS known in her legend for being a fast runner (fitting with Ruby's speed), Yamato from One Piece has the Inu Inu no Mi, Model: Okuchi no Makami (Eng: Dog-Dog Fruit, Model: Okuchi-no-Makami) which gives her the form of a Divine Wolf and Ruby does have a motif with wolves sometimes.
This isn't something important or big, just a fun topic of discussion. If you could see a character from one of the franchises in BBTAG using a power/weapon/ability/skill from another role their VA (English and Japanese) have played, what would you give to who?
#blazblue cross tag battle#bbtag#blazblue#persona#persona 3#persona 4#persona 4 arena#p3#p4#under night in-birth#unib#under night in birth#rwby#crossover#voice actors#voice actor powers#crossover stuff
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Demons Unleashed ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Gaiden Pt.2 ~
[Shadow Army - Masamichi Amano]
Dimentio : Seven Lights...Eight hearts...and thirteen Darknesses. Oh what a fine discovery that this world and the others had to split the spoils from that bamboozling Count Bleck, the Will of Shinra Kusakabe had made every human or witch as a pawn to destroy the other. I despise that mustache man in red for ruining my plans. Perhaps, the boy who saved the world in the Ohkuboverse 1000 years ago, was somehow this world's creator and spread his influence into the Real World. Ah, yes the boy who was one of the eight pillars that are same as the same of the Eight Pure hearts, were uses sacrifices as keys to the door to darkness, this entity has been using the hearts of Shinra and his people in order to create a new planet for all heartlesses shrouded within the darkness. That entity is Demon Vibe. But after Shinra manifested and created a new world, the evangelist that he and everyone in his world fought was nothing more than an astral puppet from that manipulated his entire world to be destroyed with the simple meaning of spontaneous human combustion caused by Firaga, a technique that was used by the Black Mages.
Man in Hazmat Suit : My lord, the vessels of the eight pure hearts have finally awakened.
Dimentio : Good. Shall we greet them into this "Real world" of ours?
Man in Hazmat Suit : That's correct, sir. But just assure that there are only four of them, they're female vessels of the eight pure hearts, we don't why the Evangelist wanted to use his people's hearts keys to opening the Darkness.
Dimentio : That's exactly what I need to hear. Wake up, Eight vessels of the Pure hearts, or I say Eight Pillars from Shinra's World. Awaken yourselves from your 1000 years of death.
Amaterasu : Where...Where are we?
Haumea : What's going on? Who are you?
Inca Kasugatani : I can't even remember a thing.
Sumire : What on earth is this place?
Inca Kasugatani : How long have we've died?
Dimentio : It's simple. This is the Real World that you all have woken up, ever since Demon Vibe used your hearts as keys to open the door to darkness, the one who manipulated into destroying Shinra's world and the Ohkuboverse was the One Winged Angel Sephiroth. The evangelist you've been under working with was just a only a mere puppet.
Inca Kasugatani : You mean...
Amaterasu : We've been puppets to Demon Vibe's will?
Sumire : Oh, I've been a miserable nun. If it wasn't for that Sephiroth person, we would've soaked in Shinra's blood after the Time Eater annihilated us for being under the will of Demon Vibe right before Shinra spreaded his influence.
*images flashing*
Haumea : I remember, that was the day when we were lost to the Time Eater! We all died and it's all of Sephiroth's fault for using me as a tool! I felt so ashamed for what I've done to everything and for ruining Shinra's life! I should've apologized to him! Onegai...let us forgive Shinra-kun.
Inca Kasugatani : Please, we wanted to forgive Shinra for what we have done.
Amaterasu : You gotta believe us, it's women that is the ohkuboverse's problem and not men! I'm sorry for how we treated each other like pawns in a corrupt game!
Inca Kasugatani : If only that...that we could love shinra back, the same thing that he wanted to give us something that isn't hate.
Dimentio : Fair words, mother of witchkind, since I brought you back to life after the 1000 years of Shinra's death, I decided to give you all to earn your freedom like a good wild creature. There's nothing wrong with the fear of shaming yourself with those bodies of bare skin. If you want to apologize for ruining the devil's life, then forgiveness is what you needed after that. Forgiveness and kindness is the option to forget the sins or crimes that humanity grudges against. You there, put them in the cultivated storage tanks for transportation. I got a pair of two mustache losers in overalls to give them a fair greeting.
Inca, Amterasu, Haumea : [together] Shinra-kun...Onegai...Yurushite.
"Meanwhile..."
Erazor Djinn : The World is mine! I cannot be denied by that filthy rat. WHYYYYYYY!?!
Dream Sonic : I told you I'm not a rat! (traps Erazor in his light) I'm a hedgehog! (blows out fire) Phew! I knew it! I felt good for saying but for one thing for you, Shahra. Just grant me wish, I wish for a mountain of handkerchiefs.
[Worth a Chance - Steve Conte, Fumie Kumatani]
(a rain of handkerchiefs falls down) Now, just let yourself cry. As much as you need to. You'll have plenty of handkerchiefs to help you through it.
Dream Shahra : Oh thank you, Sonic. I would use plenty of them to help me through it.
Dream Sonic : Oh yes, thank you indeed.
*BELL DING*
Sonic : Hold on I'll go check with the Piano. Composer, have you been messing with the Piano lately?
Fumie Kumatani : No that wasn't me.
Sonic : Then what's the...(clock ringing) Hey, that sounded like a clock ringing. Why is there son
Fumie Kumatani : That's because you need to wake yourself up, Sonic.
Sonic : Uhh, what was that?
Fumie Kumatani : I said...(with Tails' voice) Sonic, wake up!
[Party Dress - Fumie Kumatani]
Sonic : (wakes up from dream) Huh? Ah man, it was only a dream? Way to go for having this thing ruining my perfect dream. (stops clock) Alright, Tails. I'm up. Now that it is the year 2007 I finally get a chance to meet with Shahra and saved the Arabian Nights from that mean Erazor Djinn.
Tails : Good, Well I guess the 06 was seriously not having the greatest time, I mean a girl saved a world from one-eyed star entity who took body of her ancestor that ruled the galaxy before the birth of humanity. But it's a good thing that Sonic Rivals is canon thanks to the to Sony's greatest handheld console, the Playstation Portable.
Sonic : Otherwise know as PSP, since Sonci 06 was retconned by failures, Silver managed to come back from the future he finds out that Blaze was another dimension or something, I guess it's probably her world since sealed away that fire demon that burned down mobius 200 years ago. All of this Sonic 06 nonesense was only just a retcon of retcons, of course that was the time that I got a kiss from a human princess and It was so embarrassing.
Tails : Like what?
Sonic : Well...
(cuts to Sonic getting suck faced by elise)
Sonic : [muffled yelling]
Tails : Oh this did not go well.
Elise : AHH!!! I GOT RABIES!!!
[Super Sonic theme plays]
Amy : GET OFF OUR MAN, BEEYOTCH! (the girls starts beating up elise)
Sonic : (to the viewers) I don't know what's creepier, the fact she made out with an animal or a corpse.
*flashback ends*
Sonic : Oh yeah, that's right. Some recolored doofus shot me down in the back and got away with a second-degree manslaughter, thankfully I never died, also that kiss from a human princess in my mouth is not what expected, so I decided to use some mouthwash. Anyways, what's happening in 2007 now after I defeated that Genie who was using Shaula Gorgon's heartless?
Tails : Well, I heard the news that they're saying the Chao were kidnapped by Dr. Eggman Nega, don't you know who Eggman Nega is, he's not also clone from Blaze's World, but a descendant from future that is Silver's World. He kidnapped all of them.
Sonic : Who knew that he would make a great comeback, I knew something like that would easily thought of a Chao-napping, that's right. Chao-napping by Dr. Eggman Nega! And what did you find about. Is it something from before and after the arabian nights.
Tails : Yep. I found a book about a demon made out of fire called the Ifrit, it's not the one that Erazor summoned, it's the name of a fire demon that is a relative to the Flames of disaster during the 06 story, the story that you retconned it. Although, The Ifrit and the Flames of disaster aren't related by Blaze's powers, but it also can gain more power by finding something edible to eat. Food of course.
Sonic : I hope it's not it's brunch, but what could be more devasting we gotta go find Eggman Nega, he's running wild of stealing chao. Let's get ourselves ready!
Tails : Right away!
[Race to Win ~ Title ver. ~ - Ted Poley, Jun Senoue]
Sonic : So once we find Eggman Nega, we will put that world-destroying ifrit a taste of medicine! I'm sure the eggman we know is not behind all of this! But it's gotta be the same man we encountered since the Black Arms invasion. Luckily, everyone is involved of finding this Eggman Nega fella that is stealing chao! I wonder who could it be this time? And I heard that he wants a rematch with Blaze from her as well!
Tails : True that! Let's get going! A new adventure! (the two runs off)
Sonic : 2007, let's start a new year, and this time it will be good!
~ Stage 1 : The New Adventures ~
#sonic the hedgehog#super mario bros#paper mario#sonic and the secret rings#super paper mario#soul eater#fire force#nintendo#sega#square enix#crossover#drama#comedy#dark comedy#horror#mystery#thriller#supernatural#fantasy#dark fantasy#science fiction#action#adventure#psychological
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Go on a tangent about your favourite MGS things (sir-yeehaw-paws)
Oh no how do I even choose?????
First thing that comes to mind is the soundtracks. Like specifically the theme songs (snaaaaake eaaateerrrr) and the canon contemporary songs in MGSV. I adore music and can’t function without background noise so having music in games makes me so happy.
And can we just sit for a minute with how great songs like Snake Eater, Heavens Divide, Sins of the Father etc are? Greatest Bond themes that were never in a Bond movie. We really had a treat with those. And they fit so well with the characters and their themes. It makes me clench my fists in delight.
Then there’s the general game music which is also fantastic. The classic dundun dundundun dundun dun and the alert music, the ❗️sound effect that has made its way into all corners of the media. Truly just a masterpiece.
And then we come to the absolute JOY that is putting on 80’s hits whilst running around with D-Dog or Quiet in TPP. I mean what’s better than tranquillising enemy soldiers with Billy Idol yelling in your ear? Or Gloria blasting through the sound of an enemy chopper?
So yeah that’s my mini rant for the evening. I want more games with inbuilt radios/song choices you can take with you. More codec call style things. I don’t want to just hear the playable character grunting (fun as that is), I want to listen to music as I flit about the map collecting herbs and pressganging people into my private army.
Yeah.
I guess I also just really love 80’s music….
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It's the Brux Show Now, Bitch! (Starring Brux!) (Authored Solely By Brux And With No Help Save A Living Hand) [excerpt]
--
he was tapping on the mic. the booms of his fingers echoed over the air.
- ouch. that’s deafenin, mate.
INTRODUCING -- CPT. BRUXER HARUSPEX
he had a mastery of certain empathic qualities which made for a judicious herald.
- he's a liar.
he could demonstrate.
- his dick gets hard when he lies.
the gentleman who was lying :-- he was stricken with priapism.
- a terrible burden, the weight of sin.
a terrible burden, the weight on shins.
- my friend here, who i professionally, though not unaffectionately, refer to as the major -- he is wizened in his simplicity. he sees things as they are, and for the at times alarming juxtapositions of his visceral naiveties, he presents frequent and starting insights into the deeper mechanisms of the natural world. he is a semi-retired state executioner, now bound by red tape and burdened by paperwork, chained to a desk far from any field of battle -- though not far from any field of prattle, i'm not sorry to say.
when you took to the field these days -- it tended to be slaughter.
- you a hunting man, major? got favorite game?
you make all business your pleasure.
- what is it exactly that you do, sir? in your capacity as -- (we just call him head bitch. not to his face, of course. we're all dad's bitches and he's head bitch. just the way it happens to be sometimes, mates) -- ah yes, as the praetorian prefect.
you get bitched at by dad a lot.
- finally. finally, i'm on the air. i'm on the air again. oh my gosh. oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. oh me. i'm back on the air. listen. i'm looking to revitalize the culinary arts. the things we eat... the things we eat don't need to cost a lotta money. they don't gotta taste that good. usually it's good enough... folks -- it's good enough to just be good enough. you know. you don't need nothin fancy. you don't need nothin you're gonna remember. i don't wanna remember what i ate. just wanna shove it in my face while i detach from my senses and wake up a few hours later, realizin i'm alone. that's how you know you're on the right track... folks, you should black out after you eat. you don't gotta remember what you last ate. all ya gotta know's it provided ya with fuel. fuel to serve… maybe serve your country. you know -- might be a good idea. you know... go out and serve your country. all the proud people out there serving their countries. some of which -- shocking i know -- aren't even ours. some of you. some of you are big eaters. maybe you ate a bunch -- blacked out, forgot you ate -- hey. just means you get to eat again. probably made a lotta room. you're lucky -- lucky you get to live in a country where you got problems like eatin too much. so much you eat and fall asleep and eat some more. gosh. do you even do anything else all day? it makes me sick. sick like a dog. wet dog. are you somebody's pet? you even know how clean up after yourself, big guy? huh? i strip you outta that commando shit, what're you gonna do, huh? go kneel in the corner and shit? you're an animal. get you one of those lil drip nipples. make ya suckle. like to suckle? maybe not a nip? maybe get one a yer fruitcake brothers down here. make ya eat his cake -- could really go so for some cake right now -- not his. folks, all you need out of a hearty meal is enough to provide for you -- provide ya with fuel. to get the job done. hey. ya gotta love jobs. jobs gotta eat too, kids.
full-time. no benefits.
- well, sir. what you know you know well :-- self-respect must be its own reward!
your unit, of which father had selected from only the finest eagles and jaguars of the corps, |. were to serve as the unconquerable arbiters of his will. in the square, our stations served to herald his convoy-- we who decorated the steps, and watched from behind the columns. we walked with him, and our hearts throbbed with him. his body was our body, as his will was our will. though one man, he cast seven shadows, the tallest of which sheltered him in darkness.
.| - and also brux!
by day you stood with them – and the forms of the buildings continued upright.
every cubic structure met in corners, and every corner was met by the touch of two walls. these were not false cubits -- nor were there cubits any more perfect than in the waste.
your black leather shone prismatic as tar in the white heat of morning. when you would linger in the hues of morning. from when you awoke in the dark, seeing eyes staring back from the dark -- the remnants of slumber you knew well to be leaden with regret, flayed from awareness by cruel mercies which made bare nerves dance as dandelion seeds in the stagnant dusts of the bronchioles.
( . * * * . )
the sweat clung to you. you could smell only yourself and your uniform -- the smoke clinging to you and your uniform. you took it off only when you slept. only when you went into the dark.
( ' . . . ' )
the light of hazy red neon. mint in the emerald of aquarium glass. the violet bruise of what came before dawn. you could trot along the stones and watch the people. your eyes still heavy – and still alert despite the weight you could never recall and yet never forget.
you saw how they cast their eyes from you -- how they swerved to pass you. how others fell to the stones to implore you tooth in cowl –
some, you suspected, might even recognize you.
/|==|=|==|\
gold bricks bisected goldenrod grids of the doors –
streaks of torched bouillon drip onto petrified globes of glistening river rock – scenes of the jester aesop and the archivists grimm – the fox danced with the tortoise as a wolf in opal and jade lifted its veil to kiss a bear before the girl they would devour – the rabbit slumbering. coalescing detritus into a second moon – and the earth below the sun. the serenity of their faces laureled by the branches through which the rays were the crown of every man and every woman – and the halo of every other star who drifted in the vast empty spaces between and be-in and beyond.
he placed a saucer of tea on your desk -- a wedge of lemon on the side.
- cpt. schreibermachen, as we all know well, sir -- is a bold and original thinker.
a censure of sunlight fell onto his face – from the low angle, his profile had inherent the jutting brutality of a goblin shark :-- the jigsaw of his cleft shifting as he flapped his gums.
- your office is quite spacious, sir! i'm confident we can talk very loudly!
it was considered the proper thing to use porcelain while upholding your pretense of civility -- and you found some small delight in the resonance of metal through mineral -- the foolish twirl of every stir of your silvery spoon. you grew to love the sense of personal defilement that came with your new expectations of frivolity -- the way the reservoirs ran dry and you grew to stomach the taste of chalk.
- there is a man, mates! -- who can recognize a viable alternative calcium source!
the assemblies you held were intimate and without reproach.
- grilled him like a fine carthiginian babe, sir!
it was no difficulty for you to explain the nature of your work. in pain-staking detail, if necessary. though the words were never intended to reach human ears.
- my lips are zipped!
or human eyes, for that matter.
- there were a couple on the dish, you could imagine!
to alleviate the stresses of work in which you displayed competence far below the expectations of your age and experience, you delegated to him all responsibilities of spoken command.
- right, mates. so… all of you are right here, standing in my visual field. hello. i see you all. i can see you are having a lovely morning. now, to do roll-call, we'll start with me... and that should only take twenty minutes -- but then afterwards, we'll have to do joey, and that will take… let me see… two hours… so… loikely we won't have the time to get to all of you, but that don't make anyone part of the b-team. nobody go around thinking you're part the b-team!
everyone who isn't you, brux or joey -- you guys are the b-team.
- don't encourage them, sir.
as commanding officer, you prided yourself on running a tight ship -- vowing to only spin the wheel of command wildly out of control to test for the larceny of seasickness.
- please don't vomit, mate -- not like it's a centrifuge.
they dared not contradict you with an open display of facial twitching.
- nor is the stair the appropriate place to piss yourselves!
in your heart, you considered yourself a lenient superior -- and your considerations on this matter were more informed than any of the well-reasoned arguments of your detractors.
- don't worry, mates! we'll have ya made outta sturdier stuff in no time!
down these winding halls, these permanent installations -- the dividers which housed the windows, hand-carved from wood this land no longer knew -- succumbed to the ash deep in their grooves -- the glass pulsed with the writhing cobalt of hemispheral flares silkscreened with light on the backs of the eye. around you hung the smell of labor, and of burning grass. around you hummed the marching boots and pounding keys.
|: |: |: | /. /. / .
your operations were impeccable -- barring those times you blinked, and were not all-seeing.
- please, sir -- if you don't observe me, I don't --
( )
when you and those brothers who were your six closest and most able collaborators still shared an office on the set beyond the west wing, all was a tumult of streams in flux.
-sir, i can explain. i can explain everything -- please give me a moment. the craters in the woodwork, those came from the grenades, which… let's say schreibermachen, psychorragia and drythen ‘dropped’ while performin the routines up on the desks -- the windows likewise, were shattered when they were propelled outward by the force of the blast -- cpt. schreibermachen, you see, endured the heat by throwing up his trench like a cloak, and then… sorta pirouetting into a corkscrew while in the air as the track ramped up, he managed to deploy it like a parachute as the harmonies descended, and well… monkey see, monkey do. this is why we have three craters and three broken windows and two servicemen with possible definite ankle sprains. the choreography -- will of course be excellent. the write-off -- not his responsibility.
... laika's run to fetch a broom, and maybe some splints…
... the calf entrails and the squid heads, and all these silkworms, i uh… i'm not sure what cpt. hlaford was intendin to do with those, but if the room is on fire anyway, my suggestion would be we just grab an incinerator and go to town -- leave no memories behind, maj.
...
( -- )
/|\
in your country, all was substance without form, content without substance. governed according to the principles of the pre-scoliotic aphasian cosmologies passed down by the higher tenororphic mysteries throughout the era of the fraternity states -- all things that were, they were together.
-- :] [: :] [: _._
you could picture your body in motion. you saw yourself -- and your relation to the wall. to behold the wall, one was the wall. one stared at the wall -- and the wall was one and two.
you were composed of your movements. you saw your movements, and if they were strong, you were strong -- if they were clumsy, you were clumsy -- were they tactful, you were tactful.
the clack of an agitated march would ensue an agitated cadence to the carriage of thought -- the rhythm which would ensue a spilling of those chilly elixirs which lie serene upon your oaken shelves -- those which would stain the hand-loomed upholstery of your coach, woven luminous of the light of spring, to stir the call of your passenger.
/=|=\
- he's not pickin up, mate. left another message, but sometimes ya get a tone, sometimes ya get a gent, and either way, it don't take much to hear the smirk -- y'know . . .
you kept haruspex on the switchboard when you needed him quiet.
- brux has to operate the heavy machinery to make the telephone rotary calls. people had gotten tired of the spongy buttons and the lever buttons and the big round twirly buttons came back into fashion, because the constant movement of clocks was a classical symbol of efficiency and progress and by the rite of repetition unto inertia overcome, implanted itself in our big ol' hamster wheel brains -- leggo anytime ya want boys! let the momentum carry ya until you're a big ol’ puddle a spooge!
at the console, he alternated left and right :-- up and down among the axes.
- gonna connect this point -- to that point -- in as few movements -- to maximize myself for consumer efficiency -- i do wanna be an efficient consumer! -- or do i wanna be consumed in an efficient manner? -- hmmmm. note to self -- deduce later if consumer or consumable.
the grid sprawled out before him.
- i am one with the grid.
when that didn't keep him quiet -- you found other things.
- the shape of these gates -- it inspires beauty in me. i too am a utilitarian object which aspires to be beautiful. i am the fire hydrant welt with roses in superfluous flourish. i am tin and gold. i am bronze and aluminum. i am many silvery and hollow alloys -- and i alloy all i alloy -- and allow all i allot ... to cement my daily allotments!
behind the bakelite, he tended to his square.
- in keeping with our midland laurentian ancestry gentlemen, you will be entitled to care for a square of greenery -- the worst of you will grow weeds of grass though the rest of you will find yourselves eyes-alert well-alive in the sprouts you shoot. the best among will of course find ways to grow contraband here beneath lilies of flamboyant decor -- and they will go undetected for years.
`. ( o ) .`
he approached you near the honeycomb of offices -- through the light frosted by panes of shell, his boots tapped without hesitancy to circumvent the staccato of their motion.
- g'day, major. name's haruspex. bruxer haruspex. former captain of the ruelandese national guard. reportin for duty. know we've been acquainted on many occasions, what with our numerous adventures over the years, but -- y'know... sometimes ya just loike to restate the basic premises and assumptions so everyone's on the same page. never know who might be listenin in. some freshfaced new recruit might not know the hierarchy yet. best you just play it loike a radio thing y'know -- restate the basic premises and assumptions succinctly before each altercation, that way anyone can just jump right into the story.
he said funny things like that. he said funny things in that funny voice of his :-- it made your dick hard how funny his voice was.
- so, get this. all the men back in my village in rueland -- they were all tragically (tragically overused, that word tragically) well, they were all tragically murdered in the same three week span while out huntin ostrich -- no, no. ostrich. ostrich plural. back in rueland we couldn't afford all those extra blowy noises. only learned men and old-school ultra-poofs who fancied gettin fisted up to the elbow with crisco for lube could afford all those extra blowy noises -- though the truth was, we was all to stupid to tell the difference, we're bein honest. there was one lad -- a gentleman and a scholar. he weren’t harmin no one, mate. (.) jus tryin to translate can’t into contemporary inglish. never hear that poor fucker so much as wheeze again. … strained the tongue too much, we're bein honest. all those blowy noises. we needed to keep our tongues strong. so many long mornins -- suckin cobra venom true a goat teat ta build up a tolerance lest we venture out in the front yard alone. stared down the black eyes of that devil bird down many a lonely road ... well, get this. i was the only boy in left in my village after that. you know what that means? means i got the attention of all the -- wait for it -- the attention of all the --- all the girls. i was absolutely showered in -- pause for effect -- showered in girls. major ... um. ... major, do you know what i like? major, do you know what i really, really like? major. major -- do i gotta say it? do i really gotta say it out loud? major. major. i like -- i like girls. oh my gosh. i love girls. i love their pillow fluff bodies. i love their silky fragrant locks. i love their big doe eyes -- and i love how my heart flutters into lard ripples of buttercreme when i'm just shaftin em -- poundin on em like a lil yippin puppy. oh i just wanna be pet! -- oh i just wanna be pet! -- um, major. major, i'm not gonna lie ... can i … can i be real with you for a moment? i think i just -- come closer -- i think i just really, really wanna be pet?
[scratch behind the ear]
… major! major, you make so happy major! oh, the girls -- oh major when i lived with all the girls they pampered me like a princling. they slopped my lips in wineys -- they stuffed my cheeks with ciggys -- they bit me venomously down me lowly hangin lips -- haha -- once i got in a scrape with a mongoose. tore that fucker in half. ate its heart out in retribution. still got seven inches. couldn’t even afford lemonade as a chaser ... guess what? now? now i drink for the emperor. i can imbibe elixirs from across the globe and name region of origin by scent alone. i can identify over 808 types of poisons, toxins, corrosives, unguents, tonics, herbal teas, snake oils and supplements down to the individual peptides -- to say nothin of the dungy taste of another man's spit --
… ostrich. it was only the one, really. birds are a lot smarter than you wanna give em credit for, well …
... bird.
his passion for the fairer sex was, on occasion, a novel diversion -- though often destabilizing to group cohesion.
- goils! goils! goils!
if the outermost extreme of his peripheral vision caught so much as the hemline of a skirt, he would veer out of formation blindly into oncoming traffic.
[schreibermachen– greets the gun barrel morning with a glint of dawn]
- look over yonder, psychorrhax. toward the gray and blighted horizon -- cpt. haruspex leaps and dances as though attempting favor with the sun, or else dares to implore the bounty of a cargo drop.
[young psychorrhax views – resolute in the most measured scorn]
- perhaps it is code, cpt. schreibermachen.
- astute as always, young psychorrhax. please be so kind as, with your cocksucker’s lips so full-figured and forward, to do our company the favor of rendering unto speech the fiery valor of our fallen comrade.
[corneal contraction in aerial view]
- 'need no help, friends. learned urban foraging in the ruelandese guard. can survive a whole lunar cycle on this here roundabout.'
… is the woman giving up to him her cherries, cpt. schreibermachen?
- in moments he shall be spitting up the pits!
if the prospect of rescuing young women were to intercept the docket, his short term memory would obliterate itself and he would seize into a deadlock by the dictates of his mating instincts.
- that conical fortress up on the top of the hill? estimated material of construction: tetrahedra-sifted jovian swirl concrete. estimated date of construction 370-390 post-imperial trans-fracture. estimated plundering -- well-- hehe. there are girls in there, major. baskets and baskets full of... wait, no. hold on, see. this part – this part is very relevant to my backstory you see because i was very well taken care of, and that's influenced my loike -- sensuous philosophy of life, y'know? first time i saw a battlezone, i saw a guy's head get blown clean off ... well, more like a buddy, really. i can't even remember his face -- yeah. it's hilarious now but at the time i was thinkin 'shit. i'm a lover not a fighter. i'd rather be twirlin a baton than a rifle, but hey. i look good doin either.' -- i dunno. loikely, i wasn't so glib in the moment -- y'know. i was just thinkin of the sorta thing that i'd like to say to a girl once i found one, but i gotta be honest with ya, maj. i don't remember findin any. what i can remember faintly was curlin up into a ball and cryin my eyes out -- just bein so scared and so alone and wantin to die
<<<
>>>
... some memories, mate. some memories are a lot like a boomerang... or maybe a girl -- y’know. ya throw em. ya get distracted. you’re not payin attention -- they’re gonna slap ya right back you're not payin attention.
cpt. schreibermachen -- that fuck joey -- once hoisted a pair of silk women's undergarments up the flagpole of the display and punishment pavilion – and lace and shimmer billowing, brux was by means of sheer appetite able to scurry thirty feet vertically, where clinging to himself like a scared koala, he lost any sense of spatial or temporal orientation and found himself lacking the grit to leap back down.
[a song of hollow alloy – shrieking on a buckling gourd]
- major. major don't help me. i can do it. i can stay up here. i can stay up here all day -- with the panties. nobody look. i'm gonna sniff em.
you turned away. for the sake of the common decency, you turned away.
[cpt. schreibermachen's hand eclipsed the sun]
- look upon my labors, psychorrhax -- and tremble.
[laika doing jazzhands]
- i’m trembling -- i’m trembling, cpt. schreibermachen, sir!
- your struggle is not heroic, psychorrhax! you flinch from greatness as a temple priestess from a backhand! your heart is full of falsity, cowardice, and petty vanity. i long to be rid of you as a golden beast would be a brood of ticks.
some moment in the past -- his shoulders shone with blacker luster.
cpt. schreibermachen stares through a porthole.
the black room. the black glass.
psychorrhax in biohazard gear --
banana beetle yellow --
stares through a porthole of his own.
curtains of latex. sheets of latex.
the sweat fragrant on his fingers.
pooling on the bed. a pool of yellow beetles.
he stares up. mirrors on the ceiling.
larger than the others.
- been awhile. missed how good you smell.
some nights, he found himself wanting for spectacle and was forced to manufacture dilemmas in which he might showcase his expertise – to be tempted to compete for a treat unrightfully earned.
=-= = =.= = =-=
the starlight of city lights shone into the wide gilt and marble grid of the solarium.
cpt. haruspex ejected his soda stream.
o))<
- nobody move. joey pissed the punch.
the spittle dripped from laika's face.
- cpt. haruspex, you took but a sip.
[radiant day through the windows
in joey's insertion shot]
- he has you there, haruspex. not even your finely honed culinary prowess could have so quickly and silverly ascertained that it was my broth which pollutes the vino!
[brux requested two white elephants
and a troupe of acrobats for his]
- i could sniff out those fruity notes with both eyes open!
(- and a crab-stalk grafted on his dick, bro.)
- as if you couldn’t. as if anyone couldn’t!
- it’s citrus, haruspex!
- citrus is a fruit, golden boy.
(- you turned it into the world’s worst tinto verano. i’m fuckin thirsty, bro!)
–\\./–
cpt. schreibermachen – that fuck joey – glanced at you through the light.
through currents of the straw to gold of his hair, all motes shone as points on rings of iron cross.
his smile – its manifold condescensions – unmoored his face from the affection it so rightly earned. he seemed only ever – to be half-looking away. you could somehow see – yourself blurry in his periphery. though flesh before you – already you carried the quality of memory.
- not that i ought guarantee myself a good first impression – though i ought expect to still give a second and third.
the full weight of his eyes fell on laika psychorrhax – squire still at heart – and laika smiled with the warmth of a saint or madonna painted powder blue and scale of shellac over the rim of a bow of candleglass.
- as though his neck were that candle and his eyes the flickering flame!
to see the light snuffed out. the wax glide down the slope of your arm. as a shard of the mosaic of her face entered you by slip of palm.
– glistening gossamer – what milky nebulae fins between my fingers!
–//o\--
in our country, all was a fog of materials kicked up by the wind -- all was endless configurations of smoke and heat, of organic and inorganic – and we were mixing together in a stew of our own pollutants -- none separate, though some superior in substance and others inferior – and all tangled together in a grimy embrace of bodies penned and sculpted which we pledged first to our fathers, and the fathers before our fathers, and then to this land which we claimed by virtue of our boot and by our seed, and to the structures on which we weighed the land and held her like a vise, and to our king -- and to our corps and to the people who by their sloth held their docility aloft under the pretense of care and thanked us for the blood we spilled in their name.
(%)`~`(%);~
cpt. haruspex slapped psychorrhax on the shoulder.
- have a good time, mate. take ya for a pint afterward!
bare marble flesh vivisected the fatty tissues of a breast.
the port of natalia stretched out to preserved greenery across the bay :-- the bay of manufactured hydrogen – bubbling in molecular instability reeking faintly of chloral blooms.
whenever psychorrhax had to fuck a woman, he held himself tense and focused on the pleasure of absolute obedience to his vow -- and he purified himself of any desire but surrender in service to the father and for him he would now surrender his seed to the procreative act --
to uphold his power and the power of the state through generations -- using her as a vessel of flesh.
(wham - bam)
the shame overtook him -- reaffirming his surrender to the muck from whence he came.
- thank you, ma'm.
his lip quivered when he smiled.
- it was a pleasure.
for men predisposed to such things, men wearied by long careers at war, looking to settle into decay with the holy image of woman, and to find himself in the eyes of the animals he tended, agrarian life on the vast fields of the island would prove a welcome balm. they were thought to be simple men -- driven by instinctual capacities. for a man to choose this life was to forsake his capacity for higher abstraction – and with it all that made him more than animal. a man who chose this life then had accepted he knew only what he had to give -- and could reproduce himself through the systems of the state in only his most immediate and mechanical way -- and for the privilege of this slothful intellect, he was entitled to grow the food we eat, and to take more than he needed, and erect harems for the women he and they knew well to be his.
for what we knew, we knew well -- men were machines, and could be reproduced by machines, though as men could build machines of greater efficacy, we had no reason to manufacture men in the manner of machines, nor machines in the manner of men -- for this distinction, the most superficial, effected us at the level of our very physiology, and needed not be spoken aloud.
to be sent to the island to raise children among the women was then confirmed by sound men of the rank and file to be penance for a low confirmed kill-count. men of medium-range who met their blood debt but could not give in excess were to meet full quota by diluting blood with seed. per each child sired with a woman who walks alone or with women who flock together, a man could expect to receive the equivalent of 19-23 confirmed kills depending on the health, weight, phenotypical make and calculated killer or breeder potential of his son.
for though we all had mothers, the father of us all was the head of state -- and from his will no good man could deviate, for to subvert our father was to subvert the will of the state.
young psychorrhax, gentle soul that he sometimes was, now sired his seventh son --
-purify me, sir.
* )( * .^ | ^ ( o ) ^ | ^. * )( *
... i am unclean.
the solarium shone luminous through the halo of this hair.
it was typical, for men of our generation, to purify our manhood after contact with the fair flesh.
[cpt. haruspex – vernacular rapier sharp]
- listen, mates. if we’re talkin purity as an emergent consequence of performin the rites, well i’m the most pure of all. i fuck the most girls, i perform the most rites. i don’t even bother to bow and consecrate the major before i drink his piss and resubstantiate my manhood. big guy just pisses in my canteen, i take a swig right after i eat out a girl and give her a kiss on the cheek -- intone a prayer to brodin, it's all good.
... then it’s like she’s gettin her manliness purified too and next time i’m with her, she’ll be clean, then if i keep stayin with her, she’ll keep gettin enough secondhand sunrays to be clean and pure as any man (despite bein nuttin but woman!) then it won’t matter if she’s a woman, cause we’ll both be manly and pure, and as such will attain limitless solar heat in addition to the power of biological reproduction. imagine it, mates. brux and a girl. the ultimate organism! that’s what the love of a good man can do to a good woman, mates! you put the work in, it’s true as any love. don’t need the titillation of filth, 'tis true!
cpt. schreibermachen -- was more unconvinced than usual.
- haruspex, considering the extant biomass of the female, to say nothing of the infinitesimal spattering of viable purification you’d get from such molecular contact, it would take untold generations to purify a woman in such a manner.
[cpt. haruspex – reviving the tooth whitening cult]
- clever man, joey. i gotta do a whole generation’s work in one man’s lifetime.
the door slammed shut in relation to them.
[schreibermachen and psychorrahx –
silhouettes in muted static]
- imagine it, psychorrhax! infinitely dividing bruxes fueled by infinitely renewable energy! how long do you think it would take for these locust eggs of human vanity to expend the last of the earth’s waning greenery?
[psychorrhax –
cheerfully posed beside a frosted hibiscus]
- would they be self-generating, cpt. schreibermachen? perhaps in cpt. haruspex’s fantasy they would have some internal fuel-source?
[schreibermachen –
überschwemmt in Träumen vom Vaterland]
- they would not breathe our air but simply occupy it until – piled high as mountain peaks frost-capped in their couplings – teeth of rime did lovebite the stratosphere!
your eyes would whoosh through white noise.
[haruspex –
basking in the glow of successful infiltration]
- yes, mates. we who have eaten of the trees shall drink too of the sap. we shall create … the fuck pile.
he took out a tube of lipstick -- and he ate it. he spit it up and smeared it around his face. he was tiger-stripped with his own spittle -- some venomous madonna.
- are you getting this, psychorrhax?
title cards shone behind his eyes. the marquee applauded with delphic seizure.
- every word, cpt. schreibermachen.
( -- where would i be? without my favorite POVV!)
(o) `&--&` (o)
some nights, fueled by pints of his keg-sized heart, he would venerate his ancestors with lamentations of his lot in life.
- in the old days, before men worked together, men slept together, men danced together every moment of every day -- y'know what they'd do? they'd go home and they'd be with their girl. yes, mates. it was a known common practice. not everyone you see -- not everyone who likes girls is a delicate softboy with damage -- alright? i am, but -- y'know. not everyone is. people used to like hangin out with girls. it wasn't jus a brutal task ya had to enact to carry out your reproductive duty before the state. a wife used to be someone ya loved, ya tickled, ya frisked, ya fucked over the countertop and smooched -- gave her a smack on the rump, let her give ya a smack on the cheek. ya used to be able to chase her into the livin room and jump on her or maybe she'd jump on you and you'd land right in her rack and you'd try to yell out help, help, i'm drownin but once you open yer mouth it's like the nipple rolls in and now you're sucklin her and she's so warm and fertile and bountiful, that of course she starts to leak a little in yer mouth, and then you're lookin up into her eyes and feelin loved clamped onto her big, beautiful milker and it's jus fuck, mates. i could die roight there without a regret in the world. suckin her down. growin strong bones. warm all down my throat and in my guts -- as the good book says -- without milk there'd be no inland empire. then ya know – then my pants are off and i'm shaftin her while i'm sucklin her and i'm just goin fuckin stupid fast like quick little rabbit thrusts and now her head's rollin back and i'm fondin her big beautiful titties while i'm sucklin her -- god i can smell her hair as i can smell her sweetly sweaty breasts and she's startin to glisten and i fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and i fucker and once she's just a pile of big beautiful goo on me washin away the forests of my bush with noah's flood, i gush right up her warm cunt and dribble back on meself like a melltin polar cap and she collapses onto me depleted and satisfied and i fall asleep almost suffocatin in her big beautiful bosoms -- gosh, mates.
(buy your own)
it was not a matter you could overlook lightly.
(by your own sons)
in your way, you were each your father's sons.
[father striding forward – decoration jangling as rings of keys –
his titanic ass pert above his waist-high boots as he –
snapped into place, anchoring your eyes to the horizon]
- big guy. scribbles. rocko. you are my most brutal, my most cunning and my most lascivious men.
... get in the car. we’re goin to a titty bar.
[cpt. schreibermachen rose head from knee –
to extoll the empty place the sun'd be]
- praise pol solaris, psychorrhax! father has invited us to a den of ill-repute – to meet careerists of some small spectacle!
[snarl of a dog on sugarcane]
- no you leave that one! i don’t like him! he shortbusers like a mango and mangos like a shortbuser, and besides -- he is a clown.
[the ironist spirit of an engineer]
- i would defend your honor against this sleight of pox psychorrhax – though first i would need to deduce its symptomology, to say nothing of its strain.
the bloodlights hit hard --
the weak flesh dilated and contracted.
cpt. schreibermachen stares through a porthole.
the veiled room. the dirty glass.
rosettes of frosting on perfumed flesh --
pulsating globules of red hart.
- major! major! it’s a dream! we’re out meetin girls with dad!
- that’s it, that’s it. want you good and sealed in that marie antoinette wedding dress. battered. baked. frosted. want you so frosted and chilled -- so sparklin and pristine, i just gotta take one lick. one single solitary lick to ruin you -- then -- then what? you think anyone’s gonna want you after i get a lick? course they will. everyone wants a lick – everyone wants my germs. people’ll pay me to say my disease can cure germs. you’ll gradruple in value. sell you to a collector. art collector. you’ll be art. lady covered in frosting. frosting and germs. here. i’ll cough on ya. khuh-khuh-khuh. add another million to your tag. we got malaria. that's a jungle disease. we ain't got jungles. we can charge em. they'll pay extra. tell em hey.
... we got the fever. jungle fever. it’s ours.
- as a man of worldliness, sir, i beg you answer. what is the purpose of a female body void of conversation skills?
>:-/ =/= + u@u + =\= \-:<
you went home some nights. you didn't know where home was.
you stood in vacant places where there was no city and where the grasses blew in breeze over the fertile soil. you could see the moonbeam beyond the radio waves crystallized into minute fractals -- ebbing away their jagged edges, those smokescreens which stained the clouds.
for those nights, which were your darkest nights, from them you flecked the embers by which you could not see – and caught the first flame on a wick you had yet to set in wax -- and by that light, you singed your fingers as you passed the flame from wick to wick -- to keep them burning, the wax always spooling – the ebb of stationary currents cresting into a horn up the ascending string, spiraling to the ore of gold.
for from that night, you could see many nights – and if you navigated back into dark corners, or as now, stood alone where the black earth shone, eyeing some alley far across the valley – some narrow splinter into which you could lose yourself -- you could go anywhere and have heat enough to warm your hands and light enough to meet stranger faces.
for father – who came from the world of light and smoke – did not come with martial values.
nevertheless he remained, in his way, a deeply holy man.
[hound jowled in the sobriety of day]
- hey, hey, big guy. so what if rocko shows up drunk and late -- at noon. noon cause he was out all mornin fuckin girls. the girls i paid for. he likes girls. he's a poonhound. bloodpoon hound. like his old man. you? i dunno. you got no sense a smell. you think you got taste. what is it you think you're tastin, huh? it's not a not a nice juicy puss ... hmmm. what is it? is it a man? you a maneater, big guy? make me sick sometimes. how nasty you can be. gosh. she tastes like catbrains and gunpowder -- gonna fill her up with caviar. make her drink her piss -- champagne piss. funnel the champagne straight into her bladder through some sorta surgical can gas for women of taste -- adventurous taste. let the caviar come flowin -- cloggin up her puss. all the eggs, you know -- overflowin like a toilet. set you straight one a these days, big guy, huh? get your hands on some part of a woman other'n her neck sometime --
( . )
- the woman that father gifted us. mates, she's a treasure! women were put on this earth to make us happy, and we were put on this earth to make women happy! oh, mates, it's true your gallant mottos all! love is found in surrender to service!
his eschatological fixations, despite his evident enthusiasm, never ceased to be bizarre. you knew what you knew well -- to return to the chamber of birth meant suffocation in the comforts of slime and closed-quarters, of which most able servicemen were well above.
[cpt. schreibermachen – well-accredited in poetic license]
- allow me to be frank with you, haruspex.
- are you asking permission now?
- it is not that your weak and feeble mind is so easily ensnared by the tawdry pleasures of the fairer sex --
- i love you too, joey.
- but simply the sheer mind-numbing repetition. we can assure you there is not a chance in a thousand years that the people of our nation will ever forget that cpt. bruxer haruspex (who entered service under her majesty in the san navy of rueland) was so terribly fond of the female of the species that he would not cease to subject his fellow servicemen to spewing torrents of his fetid bacterial effluvia.
[cpt. haruspex – focused only on the points]
- i read the volume of your collected episodicals, joey. you had a character in it i was particularly fond of -- was i reading this right -- “huxer braruspex”?
- why cpt. haruspex, that name sounds nothing at all like yours -- as you can plainly see, the phonemes have been reversed.
[schreibermachen – nubile blonde barbarian]
- precisely, psychorrhax. perhaps cpt. haruspex longs for a fame to which he feels he is entitled, but has not rightly earned.
(- bro, i’ve seen better coverage from a shower cling, bro.)
- it’s almost more embarrassing to not be addressed by name, y’know -- in the way that bein seen in your budgies is worse than bein caught hog out -- i mean, at least then you got that primal brain snake and spit response -- you just lunge at em with that thing, but once it’s covered up it’s like… tee-hee. lookit lil brux. lookit his cute lil tush. don’t ya just wanna give him a spank?
[schreibermachen – bored again by the crucifixions]
- he revels in his protestations, psychorrhax -- as though an animal spewing filth into the mud in which it rolls.
- a lion knows well to lounge high upon his rock, cpt. schreibermachen.
(- damn psychorrhax, whose side you on?)
- it’s just -- you make me look so stupid, joey. stupid and weird.
[nevertheless moving to hammer a nail]
- my service as a journalist is to negotiate the offerings i render unto transparency and to virtue, in keeping with the spirit of the health and vivacity of the people and the culture of my country -- but my service as an artist, haruspex, is to both higher and lower truths -- to that which is both cosmic and chromosomal. these truths are sometimes obscure -- dare i say, even oblique or at odds with the demands of quotidian reality – nevertheless, they are our masters -- they are the realms of the submerged which is the torch we bare through the drudgery of the prosaic. you, haruspex, are both a man of blood and heat – as well as an archetypal dramatization of a station recurrent and observable through the collective works of human imagination – we become one another in the enigma of our daily lives. we are more than fellow warriors, more than mere varsity jackets, black and shimmering in a coalmine of gunfire -- we are truly brothers, my sweet and balmy brux. you have let me know you, and nothing i could do could ever repay the gift of your company -- though i hope i could have lent to you, with mine, but a fraction of the treasure that yours has been to me. i have rendered you in your truthfulness, in an act of love, and upheld your privacy in an act of courtesy. that you would think so little of this portrait i have gifted you, the world -- why, it speaks to your own low estimation of yourself, my brother. it doesn’t wound me. by you, i wound only myself. i will stand by you -- no matter how you spurn me, my lord and love, cpt. bruxer haruspex -- for you are a bloom from a rank mire, as though a note of lemongrass through my armpit -- and i hope someday -- someday you’ll find the strength to love me with even a fraction of the strength with which i love you, cpt. bruxer haruspex -- my bog brother.
... gilded peat. cotton wheat.
=( + )=
a light moved between them.
psychorrhax looked to brux. he gouged a fissure in his teeth.
the solarium was only mote and void.
- uh-uh. that’s all a lot of pretty talk, joey -- but i think you’re a douchebag. in the classical meaning of the word.
the early to concurrent-radial-modern meaning of the word douchebag is - and has been for the past three 300^3 years (o/. 3) - great leader, or "man of valor".
he leaned against your desk -- setting down another tea.
- i think tomorrow morning, major – instead of comin into his office to bother him for an hour -- what i’ll do instead is go into his private quarters and be sad for two or three.
the chamber loomed – for there was no name or wheel. what silence settled here, remained so – for what secrets passed between joey and laika – were for them alone to share.
–\\./–
a crinkle -- across the plume of a violet field!
- he has ruffled our bed linens, psychorrhax!
[eyes half-entrained on the incense]
- the air is befouled with barley and fish.
[schreibermachen sammelt unter seiner Handfläche einen Sturm]
- over them i shall sway my hand, and from them i shall conjure grain and flesh enough to feed the shrubbery of withered legions!
[dilating in receptivity to vision]
- befoul the soil with beer and mercury.
[the squeal of his collar – as joey seized him by his leather]
- into the circle. the boy-matter of your hymen shall be the prima materia -- the ravishing of your spirit the act of first order.
laika psychorrhax – kept himself prepped for command.
- rip my insides into a wormhole.
88*88
the balls of his fists hammered the chest. gesticulations of plunging knife edges into eager hearts. the muted gong of his flesh rang as psychorrhax pressed himself deeper into the skewer that was his need – the fat constriction of his cockhead parting to the lips of a figure-vise deepening itself down its own throat in profile, engorging in bliss ;-- and schreibermachen's power flooded to his dells, coursing through him in a torrent of linear type daybreaking upon the shore of night.
88=*=88
the demon howled out psychorrhax as he was cunted. his throat was one with his puckering hole, two in one :-- the yowling of his wicked heart.
he reared his head – tasting in the chafe of his larynx the shred of his own iron -- capsizing into force as though some suture would split and he could be free of this baggage of himself -- free of all which was pitiable and yearned to be extinguished, for it knew itself to be chaff and nothing but, only dead things never to be; he saw the stars falling to his brother's teeth and was still again -- all moments now one in this moment with him -- no longer yearning for obliteration but found again in its embrace.
**88=/=88**
fat-headed. moon-faced. there was only joey. his brother, who was the light of the light above entering through him, a sword of light entering into the plinth of his parted brain : -- cleaving him. crushing him. pouring from his wound into the hollow of himself, a juice into a grail, spinning faster, hacking the lobes of his medial layers apart as machetes make jungle paths, he sputters, jock-head, nostril, eyes, and lips -- any orifice open and willing, his every hacking and chocking pore, singing a gargling mass through the deluge of themselves, his face was everywhere at once, the One and Joey, for he was divided and carried by the waters, and all was one, the sky and earth, as all was one, He and You, Together in This Treachery, One and Alone, The Only Thing There is.
( )
cpt. haruspex unlocked the bakelite lattice – to look upon the new wastes.
- my lilies! those bastards. they have stricken them with a fuck-curse!
(-left your stash out, bro brux!
… sorry bout bein a loser and all!)
/|\ XX \|/
laika psychorrhax – let his eyes linger on schreibermachen.
through the light, the pale straw of his hair rested ashen in tower walls – the sadness of his muted complexion. from some angles the panes of his face wrung so hard to the garnished fists of armrests – so much more the strapping buck than the calf he seemed only because the soft of his eyes deceived you so with how they focused the soft of his bones.
trailing him, his followers stocky of shape, hard of will and economic of spirit – lined with caps and jackets of herbivorous mammals preserved in polysaccharide layers in times when the hunt had been a crime of passion – for all violence, it was known, could be induced only by stress, and never once by an unspoken breach in the methodology.
their legs parted wide on their strides – buttocks hard as granite – biceps tubed and pinched as they knelt to their elect – for their collars came down across the ridge of their bones onto rolling hillsides sparse of hearty shrubbery – for though they were veils begging to be parterd, calves beckoning to be cleaved, already the iron had nicked bare the land.
/. / . / . / . / . /. |*^ () --|+
//
( * )
joey looked to laika. laika looked to brux.
brux was beheld by them.
by some new conviction, he yearned to be known again.
( o ) * .V. ~ (( 0 ))
. o . U .i. U . o .
the battles they waged in semantics would -- over the course of days -- quagmire into ruts of foul and languid fury.
- what have you to say, psychorrhax, to cpt. haruspex’s sterling defense of that deed which animals do best?
- some men produce culture. some men restock the labor reserve, cpt. schreibermachen.
- laborers are more valuable to the state than culture, joey.
- with more culture, there would be fewer need for laborers.
- that is a catastrophically stupid sentiment, and you could only think it cause your head is so far up your own ass i bet you are right now auto-sodomizing a tear in you own rutted-out colon with the silver spoon tea-twink and tiddly-winkin the uvula uppadown yer stupid blonde throat!
...
?!
...
- your bawdy nonsense is indicative of your innate bardery and as such is by far your most pleasant quality, haruspex.
- thank you, joey.
… i know the only possible reason you would have said that is because you meant it.
sometimes cpt. schreibermachen would flirt first.
- i'll make a deal with you, haruspex.
- i always do my best to deal with you, joey.
- i've been meaning to seed a plant at the gazette for reasons of intrigues both personal and global -- the sultry redhead you've been glancing over, i happen to know is a subordinate to a pair of shoulder pads with a reputed greater pair of tits well-cupped within their weller-enveloped double-breasts; if only a thorn on a more rugged stem. if you can best this challenge i am about to impart on you, i will lead you in symphonious conquest. you will have her as i have her compatriot, and you will make her squeal as, beside you, i devote with all my heart, to her rosy sister, the tender and attentive brutality for which all women long -- imagine -- eye to eye and inside her! the music with which i shall see she fills the night!
military men, it was understood, were not to be seen outside of functions with women who were not their mothers. this, of course, made military men eminently desirable among women who were not their mothers.
- a rare treasure, well worth fightin for.
poising himself for the tribulation to come, he gulped two shots between his fingers with a well-rehearsed pose -- succeeding only in spilling half.
- right, mate. slap it down.
cpt. schreibermachen laid his scroll flat across the desk. the hexagonal panes shone gossamer in the ceremonial brass gaslights of the press room. with a tap of his inkstick, he rearranged the molecular structure into a grid and between them blackened the chromatophores.
he drew a point somewhere where the glare was too bright to see and another where the grid solidified from out of the weight of its shadow.
- connect these coordinates maximally in five strokes.
(- gooner bro!)
cpt. brux made four strokes in alternating horizontal and vertical dashes.
a brief pause. his inkstink rose in retreat to his lips. tapping thrice upon the scroll. his eyes, exhausted by the flurry of rapid movements, lunged forth and dug his instrument into a trawl for dimensions unknown.
- can't be done, mate. most efficient path requires 7 strokes -- 6 if ya know how to cheat. it's a trick question. what's the real challenge?
joey made five slashes through the grid and connected the coordinates.
he did not this not through five direct points, but through a series of sweeping arcs, quickening rapidly in intensity and focus, connecting many disparate points, but nonetheless only stopping, the pen seeming to grind into the pole and create a spike or point of intention as it marred the surface -- in V ditches -- twisting to more rapidly direct itself across the necksmost rotation back to whatever point was next intended.
brux's eyes rotated.
the flap of his lip spat a coin flat from the hinge of his metal plate. a flurry of dial tones roared through the ear canal spacious behind his eyes.
- joey, no you can't do that. on the switchboard, we can only move along the axes. that is an illegal move. you are a cheater. you are a southpaw switch hitter. for recreation, you perform brain surgery on the homeless in your alley theater. you are a herpe canker on the pretty lip of our otherwise proud nation. i hope you die promptly by fire.
_o/|>
- this isn't the switchboard, haruspex. this was a challenge by your friend and brother, with a plainly stated prize and unplainly stated motive. we ambulatory creatures do not arrive promptly by laying our strokes along neat paths laid out -- we do so by, with our strokes, laying out our own.
joey rearranged the grid into hexagons. the ink of his strokes arranged into a perfect circle, emitting an unbroken line from each cardinal point.
far below ...
/
\
brux's became a misshapen block of a thing in the shape of an L.
|_ o
( - nut me so hard, broey!)
- please excuse me, brother brux. my date at the gazette and i have arranged to go fox hunting this evening.
joey gave him a slap on the back.
left to the whims of a flashing light no one else could see.
- that was well played of him, major. there's no gettin around that
… what joey don't know is that brux's got a few charms of his own.
[REMEMBER THE BRUX SCENE HERE -- BRUX'S GONNA REMEMBER THE SCENE
OH NO -- OH NO -- BRUX GOT JOEY REAL GOOD IN THIS SCENE
WHY CAN'T BRUX REMEMBER THE SCENE?]
in the projection room, laika opened the ashcan. a jet of butane flowed, and from it came the caustic stench of burning time.
- joey, i bet if we sat down in noble contest to watch a scene of vigorous, wholesome, absolutely luciferian courtly mammalian fuckmaking between a consenting woman and a man who may or may not have an opinion on the matter -- that i can outlast my temptations in the face of the luscious heaving milky breasts bobbing up and down in proud deviance of gravity, beckoning me to stomp and slurp as though lounging dependent by the homey feet of brawny peasant girls at the winery.
- your script doctor is a plastic surgeon.
they leaned in. the leather of their longue creaked with the leather of their uniforms. perched, their sweat beaded. legs spread, knee bent over knee, calf around calf, where they had been corded by the serpent the stiffness creaked the leather of their breaches as the imprints of two batons rose from the tarry sea of their conjoined lap, growing ever more salty with the brine of what what plunged in the eternally-descending thunderhead.
the screen shone in the solitary viewer. harvestmen took the maids by their breeding hips. they rocked slowly, as wind would before a storm. a brawny beast of a man -- of hearty afro-laurentian stock -- was taking a plantation heart in some old manor spun with webs of spectral cotton -- the spiders heaving in the weight of their masses -- ovulating in their widowed masses -- across the world, their knobby fingers crawled through dross to reclaim their seeds.
joey watched the beauty. brux watched the bitch.
brux flung his wrist so fast it might snap in half.
joey was a cyclone in his unfaltering stillness.
brux grew glossy beneath the beads that were his waters.
joey shone, and glistened, for his oil was the petrol of the sun.
brux -- reaching the edge from which he could only plummet down -- saw himself flushed, rushing air into his overblown lungs -- arrested his hand across the head of his shaft -- and there tried to contain the fissure.
joey -- his victory assured -- could not help but lean over and, smiling with the warmth and the benevolence of a scholar, somehow all the more sweet for how he was so crude, so vicious for how he was otherwise so placid -- with a flick of his nail, tap brux across a vein.
he had gone so tense -- screaming. throat. glistening rings of flesh. rising waters cloudy with potentials congealed. songs of blood and snow.
\
caskets hovered in the grid of the tiles. he gushed across the floor. heaving a stampede of antelope over cliffsides, yowling as a wild cat. trees sprouted from the formless pools he gushed across the floor.
now, brux -- less in agony, more in furor -- kept to his scream.
- you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you joey gonna nut you bitch you fuckin fuck die in a fire fuckface you fuckin fuck
he attacked joey's knob / pressing to the root with his tongue, he had such haste for lube, and pressing down farther -- again and again -- as he was drenched, his eyes shot up. lingering in joey's eyeline. tears mixed with spittle and nut, his face so flushed, eyes so voidly pleading, stroking him with unquenchable bloodlust. joey leaned back, spread his legs, and let the breadth of himself palm his neck in triumph.
- bring me to a raging broil with your fury, haruspex! what is dense will agitate only with the meter of the epics. the dim flame you light in me would not overtake the rim were you to leave it roaring overnight!
he had visual proof of this indisputable fact.
( )
- ladies and gentlemen of the press -- my most decorated enforcer. scribbles.
[visibly joey]
- yo
- i will now eat. the entire wedding cake woman. live on air.
[blood-curdling shriek of a turkey carver]
- it’s all corn-syrup, mates. fake as hell. 90% of her constitutable body-mass's oatmeal and assorted other bread-fillings shaved off in the process. that’s how they did it back when audiences gave a shit.
the filth they’ll allow on television these days.
- is this going to make it to air, psychorrhax?
- only during the sol's day service, cpt. schreibermachen.
psychorrhax, in address, channeled the auspices of law and gutter alike.
- the guillotine was clean. effective. humane. above all -- it was stylish. this used to be considered academic consensus. sometimes. you get a generation that knows how to make a statement. sometimes. you get a generation that wants to uproot all which was there before to install creameries of any shape as long as they’re bulbous and monochrome.
[spatio-temporal auto-gentrification]
- is the letterboxing on right?
- reeks of dairy and shame here, brux.
- was that wasp nest a malky flesh waxin the glass like a milky denim gypsy spongey with spooge there yesterday, laik?
- grand opening was twenty minutes to midnight, brux.
- it sickens me with its sterile greases stained deep into the pores of its surfaces. as though its own gloss comes to presuppose its pallor!
- your contempt for the common failings conspires to make better men, cpt. schreibermachen.
- two halves to a share, two bullets to a third.
- to reproduction grunge coast city night we shall go!
the slides clicked and shot. they did all their number crunching in the east amphitheater beneath the projection room.
- the state snuff film budget could stand to lose a few zeros.
- there are plenty of things we could film that aren’t snuff.
- like pornography! let’s film state pornography!
- the lion and the bear have conspired with the hoppy mammal!
- fruitful shall be our labors.
- and comely shall be our bounties.
they spread him out on the mattress.
- yo broey, so like... what's my motivation here, bro.
(trust embedded in the sand)
- you are a walking dildo, drythen -- you can think only of fucking -- and for that pore on the bottom of you for suction -- for that also being used for fucking. improbably turning you into a full-on dock-in-dock dick sheathe whenever you're in another dude.
- ah, okay -- so play it real naturalistic like?
(new lands)
- guys, guys i'm real drunk! if i say no at any point -- what i really mean is yes. brux is a slut. brux needs to be pinned to the wall by his budgies and smacked around. brux knows he’s a good lil butt-boy. brux knows he deserves to do as he's told and wear tiny pants. brux knows he dances like a tramp. brux wants his man-cunt ripped in half like a watermelon and flung across the room. brux wants to be flung all over the room right now. fuckin read the room, mates! give brux what he fuckin wants. brux knows what he fuckin wants -- get off yer stupid asses and quit lyin to yerselves! it's fun bein a slut. ya wanna be a slut! ya know ya want the big man to come and take ya -- let him have ya! let him have ya all night if he wants ya -- you're a slut, brux! that's all you'll ever be -- a slut brux!
the best thing about being in the booth with brux -- was hearing how he could modulate his voice well-enough in response to any airing -- and seeing how an equivalent level of control failed utterly to restrain the anguished contortions of his features :-- running through so many probability scenarios so fast, his parting jaws might snap in half.
- it'll be a beautiful endin, mates. the three of you -- fast friends at last.
his eyebrows were a pair of goddamn acrobats. eyes and teeth broad enamel, looks like taxidermy. just once -- you wanted to see em touch, like two caterpillars clinging to the same leaf :--< get em to encoil and snap. grind the whole perceptible forest tapestry into a sandtrap.
- well bout time we transitioned into closin remarks, eh mates?
whether it was a night at the cave -- or an address to the new recruits. it came back, always, to the same handful of points.
- what i'm tryin to say here mates is, if you're gonna take a wife, don't settle for one you can tolerate. when it comes to the institution of marriage, take its flourishing over nine hundred years ago as an example. in the colonial states from which we trace our heritage, in an era of peace and plenty, the institution was revised into its most perfect form as the transcendental union between two individuals. for a brief, beautiful time, the symbolic value of the practice had eclipsed its function as a means to merge wealth and blood. a marriage could be a rebellion -- a statement -- a garish affair to tarnish the name. a marriage ought be fun. a marriage ought be dangerous. it shouldn’t be all joyless couplings in secret enclaves. as it takes a village to raise, it oughta take a village to witness. gentleman, i don’t advocate unregulated fornication with the fairer sex -- i advise it publicly! in the sight of respectable ladies and gentlemen of all chromosomal makes and models available for purchase!
psychorrhax stood forward, though did not give the impression of doing so. a spotlight strode forward in coordination with his stepping out from behind a curtain, though now there was no stage.
- he longs for an era of repression under want for liberation, cpt. schreibermachen.
- haruspex, the mid-century period which dominates our collective picturesque imaginings of the colonial states was a historic offense to imagination. in the plastic palaces where the cold warriors gridded themselves in commodities, they boiled their brains in radio waves, and turned their bunkers into pressure cookers for hereditary neuroses.
- joey, i have had, on some occasions, cause to peruse your auto-erotographs. you have no right to judge me. there is no rite you’ve left unwronged. you delight in envious spectacle, and are a cretin begotten in filth and for that i salute you, sir. however, you have no right to judge me, for you are ripe, numerous and plentiful in your perversions, and uh… wow, mate. i thought this would be like a killer put-down, but the more i spell it out the more i realize i’m just kind of a dweeb who feels bullied by your ability to speak in a matter which is both beautiful and fearful.
- truthfully, haruspex, you excite too much adoration of an able variant to excite much which is worthy of contempt.
- do you mean it, joey?
- no, i simply delight in taunting and teasing you, as a mother delights in taunting and teasing at the buttocks of her babe.
- you care about me, joey. you’re my friend.
- you insinuate so sinuously.
- joey caaares about me.
- you are an upheaval of wormy mounds beneath my skin!
- you wanna give me huggles, joey.
- begone, leech of man -- i am barren as stone!
- you’re so warm, joey. you’re glassy as a gutlamp.
- you wound me, haruspex. i do so much to treat you cordially, yet still you find me so contemptuous.
- shhh. got it to your kidneys, mate. i prod you, you prod me. i’m drunk enough, mate. you can take me on stage.
- fetch the rope, psychorrhax.
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sir your wife is mega dead. absolutely sin eatered. sin eaten.
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LCDrarry 2021 Master List
Dear lovely Participants, Creators, Alpha and Beta Readers, Commentors, Cheerleaders, Readers and Fans of our fest,
Our 3rd installment of LCDrarry is coming to an end, and we'd like to thank you all for taking part in our little fest, for creating so many amazing new Drarry works for us all to enjoy, for commenting on your favourite creations, for sharing and recommending the LCDrarry gems with your friends and blog followers, and for making this fest another amazing experience for everybody!
You can find out under the cut who created what ;D
~Your LCDrarry Mods Tami ( @celilasart ) and Suzi ( @erin-riwen )
PS: Please have a look at the author notes and tags on AO3 for additional information and more detailed warnings.
PPS: As always, reblogs are very much appreciated to promote all the wonderful works of LCDrarry.
Thank you! :)
***
Podfic
***
[Podfic] Harry Potter And The Disorder Of The Phoenix
Title: "Harry Potter And The Disorder Of The Phoenix"
Written by: postjentacular
Read by: @porcelainsalt | bluedreaming (AO3)
Word Count: 1,304 words / 8 minutes
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: An exasperated werewolf-slash-professor, a decidedly not-dead drama queen, a brat, and a straight white man settle down to watch a movie. It goes as well as you’d expect.
Listen to "Harry Potter And The Disorder Of The Phoenix" on AO3.
***
Art
***
[Art] At the Beginning (With You)
Prompt: "Anastasia", 1997, Don Bluth and Gary Goldman
Artist: @zandragorin
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: Teen
Warnings: none
Summary: It's one, two, three, and suddenly he sees it a glance.
View "At the Beginning (With You)" on AO3.
***
[Art] Between Your Heart and Mine
Prompt: "Crimson Peak", 2015, Guillermo del Toro
Artist: @kryptidfox
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: Auror Harry Potter is called to investigate barren and isolated Malfoy Manor, home to Sir Draco Malfoy. There, he finds forgotten secrets, lingering ghosts and perhaps even love.
View "Between Your Heart and Mine" on AO3.
***
[Art] Fallen
Prompt: "Chocolat", 2000, Lasse Hallström
Artists: @julcheninred & m4gOrtz
Art Medium: paper, thread, chalk, ink
Rating: General
Warnings: Food, Depression, Clergy
Summary: As Père Harry passed the window of the chocolate shop early on Easter morning, he was shocked to discover the Comte de Malfoy, who had destroyed the shop's window display and fallen asleep in his grief and exhaustion.
View "Fallen" on AO3.
***
[Art] I am only one side of a coin.
Prompt: "Merlin", 2008-2012
Artist: @digthewriter
Art Medium: Digital Art in Photoshop
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: The better side, obviously.
Merlin/Harry Potter fusion. Harry as Merlin & Draco as Arthur.
View "I am only one side of a coin." on AO3.
***
[Art] No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin
Prompt: "Romeo and Juliet", Shakespeare
Artist: writingsbydestiny
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: Inspired by Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare starring Draco Malfoy as Juliet Capulet and Harry Potter as Romeo Montague.
View "No Sweeter Innocence Than Our Gentle Sin" on AO3.
***
[Art] The Malfoy Family
Prompt: "The Addams Family", 1991, David Levy
Author: @moondraconis
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: None
Summary: Harry and Draco have just got engaged. Now Harry has to sit for a family portrait with his weird new in-laws.
View "[Art] The Malfoy Family" on AO3.
***
[Art] The Poet's Choice
Prompt: "Portrait of a Lady on Fire", 2019, Céline Sciamma
Artist: @kairennart | Personaje (AO3)
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteen century, Harry is commissioned to paint a wedding portrait of Draco without him knowing, since he refuses to pose. That means a lot of staring, and a lot of time together.
Time goes by, and, inevitably, like everything in life, they fall in love.
But Harry has to finish his painting, and Draco has to get married.
View "The Poet's Choice" on AO3.
***
[Art] there are dangerous men about
Prompt: "The Legend of Zorro”, 2005, Martin Campbell
Artist: @dragontamerdame | dragontamerdrarry (AO3)
Art Medium: Digital Art
Rating: Teen
Warnings: None
Summary: Two wizards engaging in a vicious duel, but make it gay and sexy.
View "there are dangerous men about" on AO3.
***
Fic & Art
***
[Fic & Art] One More Lantern
Prompt: “xxxHoLiC”, 2006-2010 (anime)/2013 (live action)
Author/Artist: vivi1138
Word Count/Art Medium: 8,373 words & Digital Art
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Smoking
Summary: Harry is plagued by spirits who seem intent on devouring him, and there’s only one place they can’t follow: a house hidden in wizarding London, belonging to Draco Malfoy. Harry didn’t intend to stay. He certainly didn’t foresee falling in love. Yet here they are.
A slice of life where Draco is a sap, Harry buys ice cream, and spirits keep throwing their peaceful life into chaos.
Read and view "One More Lantern" on AO3.
***
[Fic & Art] In the Shadow of Your Heart
Prompt: Howl's Moving Castle, 2004, Hayao Miyazaki
Author: @fantalf
Word Count/Art Medium: 854 words & Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: sectumsempra scars, memory loss
Summary: When the recluded ex-Death Eater Draco Malfoy finds Harry Potter wandering around the hills, with no memory whatsoever of who he once was, he and Teddy decide to welcome him into their little family.
Read and view "In the Shadow of Your Heart" on AO3.
***
Fic
***
[Fic] Paging Healer Twatwaffle
Prompt: "House M.D.", 2004-2012, TV-Series
Author: @veelawings
Word Count: 1,550 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Mild dub-con and manipulation, but they’re already friends with benefits.
Summary: Healer Malfoy is an absolute wanker.
Read "Paging Healer Twatwaffle" on AO3.
***
[Fic] (Let's Take Our Time) Just Moving Slow
Prompt: "Holidate", 2020, John Whitesell
Author: Melacka
Word Count: 1,886 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: none
Summary: Harry and Draco have a mutually beneficial arrangement: automatic dates for all holidays and public events, no questions asked, no obligation, no strings. It all seemed like such a good idea when they started. Harry certainly never expected to develop feelings for Draco.
Read "(Let's Take Our Time) Just Moving Slow" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Jurassic Drarry
Prompt: "Jurassic Park", 1993, Steven Spielberg
Author: PhenomenalAsterisk
Word Count: 1,941 words & Digital Art
Rating: General
Warnings: Unconventional disposal of dinosaurs; fanart includes graphic image of meat
Summary: An unflappable palaeontologist, a sexy chaos theorist, and a distracted palaeobotanist are called in to tour an eccentric billionaire's pet project.
Read "Jurassic Drarry" on AO3.
***
[Fic] My Saviour Won't Stop Texting Me
Prompt: "Hercules", 1997, Ron Clements, John Musker
Author: fwooshy
Word Count: 5,012 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Texting fic
Summary: Long ago, in Ancient Greece, there was a man named Draco Malfoy who sold his soul to Voldemort. Tortured by his sins, he... oh, who am I kidding? This is a Hercules AU texting fic, not some Greek tragedy! Harry and Draco get together and everyone has phones in Ancient Greece. Please enjoy.
Read "My Saviour Won't Stop Texting Me" on AO3.
***
[Fic] The Malfoy Family
Prompt: "The Addams Family", 1991, David Levy
Author: floydig
Word Count: 7,088 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: All Addams Family Warnings Apply, Morbid and Dark Humor, Loving Horror, Mild Body Horror (fun), Carnivorous Plants, Blasphemy, Necromancy, Implied Sexual Content
Summary: The Malfoy Family is the Addams Family, and things are about to get interesting.
Draco and Harry Malfoy are odd, intriguing, endearingly creepy, and completely and utterly infatuated with one another. This is going to be a fun one.
Featuring deadly magical creatures as house pets, recreational use of Unforgivable Curses, hungry carnivorous plants, and plenty of mayhem in between.
Also, the whole thing takes place at a Magical Multi-Purpose Store. The Malfoy Family goes shopping!
Read "The Malfoy Family" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Love that Blinds
Prompt: "The Batman", 2004-2008, TV-Series
Author: aminathescorpio
Word Count: 7,245 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Brief graphic descriptions of violence, dubious consent, gaslighting
Summary: When Draco Malfoy gets accepted to work as a psychiatrist in Azkaban Asylum, he finds himself caught in a complicated relationship with none other than Azkaban's most infamous resident: Harry Potter.
Read "Love that Blinds" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Sesame Seeds and the Entire Spectrum of Human Emotion
Prompt: "The Proposal", 2009, Anne Fletcher
Author: @bisexualronaldweasley
Word Count: 9,530 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Nudity, Boat Incident, references to past abuse/neglect
Summary: Faced with exile, Draco pretends to be engaged to Harry Potter, who agrees to play along for Narcissa's sake. When they're forced to spend a weekend together celebrating the engagement with the Weasleys, they might try to kill each other, or... they might just fall in love.
.
Based on the movie The Proposal (2009), though you don't have to have seen the movie to understand the fic!
Read "Sesame Seeds and the Entire Spectrum of Human Emotion" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Ghost
Prompt: "Ghost", 1990, Jerry Zucker
Author: @maraudersaffair
Word Count: 10,761 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: major character death (MCD), canon-typical violence, grief and mourning
Summary: When Harry is killed tragically during an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco does his best to move on. He's even a little cheered when Theo Nott starts pursuing him.
Then Sybil Trelawney visits Draco.
Read "Ghost" on AO3.
***
[Fic] all in good time
Prompt: "Groundhog Day", 1993, Harold Ramis
Author: saltwatergarden
Word Count: 13,054 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: mentions alcohol
Summary: Draco Malfoy's life is boring and repetitive. He supposes he shouldn't complain, since that's better than sharing a house with Voldemort, or doing time in Azkaban.
When he gets trapped in a time loop, however, he is forced to confront the routine he has fixed for himself, and try to break out of it. It isn't all bad, facing no consequences for his actions can be fun for a bit. But after he starts visiting the Auror Headquarters and having brief but remarkably pleasant conversations with one Auror Potter, he finally has the real motivation to break out of the time loop - something worth sticking around for.
Read "all in good time" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Star Crossed
Prompt: "Romeo and Juliet", Shakespeare
Author: GallifreyisBurning
Word Count: 13,615 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: none
Summary: Two Quidditch teams, alike in dignity, In fair Great Britain, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
The Wimbourne Wasps and the Appleby Arrows have been bitter rivals for centuries. When a nasty brawl ends one of their Seekers’ careers, the teams need new blood to take up the slack and divert attention from the bad publicity. And who better to distract the press than the infamous Draco Malfoy and golden boy Harry Potter? Called back from successful careers abroad, the pair are once again to be pitted against one another in an epic feud. Too bad no one told them that before they started flirting…
Read "Star Crossed" on AO3.
***
[Fic] The Slytherin Host Club
Prompt: "Ouran high school host club", 2006, Bisco Hatori and Takuya Igarashi
Author: shushu_yaoi_lj
Word Count: 14,377 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: explicit sexual content, scars, non-graphic mention of past abuse
Summary: Harry is simply looking for a quiet place to finish his Potions essay.It's a pity he ends up at the Slytherin Host Club instead. Or maybe it's a blessing in disguise, since he's had a crush on Malfoy since the beginning of his eighth year...
Read "The Slytherin Host Club" on AO3.
***
[Fic] It is on the other side of my soul (where your name is written)
Prompt: "Call Me By Your Name", 2017, Luca Guadagnino
Author: opaleopioid
Word Count: 16,372 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: implied switching, rimming, anal sex, no age difference (HP canon-compliant age difference)
Summary: Harry’s having it all, now that the unpleasantries of being treated like a loose cannon is gone: the war is well over, and Voldemort is long dead. He’s made the choice to stay in B, an unplottable magical town in Northern Italy, whose protection wards had kept him in one piece at the height of the second wizarding war, and whose seclusion provides him with the quiet, normal life that he now lives.
Harry adores the grassy hills that enclose B like the warm arm of a mother; Likes playing the grand piano from dawn to dusk; Cherishes his current life, on the whole. He gets himself Mocaccino every morning and sometimes has dinner with the Weasleys at their cottage nearby. With the majority of his friends and family falling in love with B and gradually settling down as well, Harry feels like this is the last place he would ever want to leave.
To say that the arrival of a certain wizard—a razor-sharp, infuriating blond—makes anything remotely different for Harry would be absurd, of course.
Read "It is on the other side of my soul (where your name is written)" on AO3.
***
[Fic] In Search of Our Better Selves
Prompt: "Mad Max: Fury Road", 2015, George Miller
Author: alrespirar
Word Count: 17,519 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Mentions of past torture, mentions of past rape, brief mention of miscarriage, descriptions of gun violence and injury. Sexual content.
Summary: Five times Imperator Draco saved Potter’s life and the one time Potter saved his.
Read "In Search of Our Better Selves" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Where in the World is Draco Malfoy?
Prompt: "Carmen Sandiego", 2019, Series
Author: Anaxandria
Word Count: 18,029 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Minor mentions of homophobia, violence, and blood
Summary: After the war, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter took parallel paths of fighting crime.
Draco discovered the existence of VILE, an international organisation dedicated to the eradication of Muggle-borns. With the help of his best friend, Blaise, he commits international capers to steal artifacts before VILE can get their hands on them.
Harry is the auror investigating the heists, but his instincts tell him there’s more than meets the eye.
Read "Where in the World is Draco Malfoy?" on AO3.
***
[Fic] My Fair Gentleman
Prompt: "My Fair Lady", 1964, George Cukor
Author: emilattes
Word Count: 20,766 words
Rating: Teen and up
Warnings: light alcohol use and mentions of child neglect by Dursleys
Summary: After an extended stay at Charlie's Dragon Reserve in Romania, Harry returns to London and makes a fool of himself at his first Ministry Gala. Minister Shacklebolt orders Harry to seven months of etiquette lessons with Draco Malfoy. Will Harry pull through and become an expert in PR? Will Draco manage to make over the biggest PR disaster the wizarding world has seen in years? Wouldn't it be loverly?
Read "My Fair Gentleman" on AO3.
***
[Fic] saying yes (instead of no)
Prompt: "Schitt's Creek", 2015, Series
Author: Pineau_noir
Word Count: 21,022 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: canon typical alcohol and drug use, marijuana use, explicit smut
Summary: “It’s a general store that’s also a very specific store,” Draco grumbled. “Most people won’t realise this, but I want to market Muggle goods to the Wizarding world as well. I want something that will help boost the economy of the Hamlet and Muggles have so many amazing things we don’t have.”
.
Draco sighed again. “I think it would benefit everyone.” He glared at Emily. “But there’s not a single witch, wizard, or wix who will shop at a place owned by Draco Malfoy.”
.
“What if it’s owned by Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy?” Potter asked.
.
“That would be preposterous,” Draco mumbled. “Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy would kill each other before the store opened.”
.
“What if you didn’t?” Emily asked. Draco opened his mouth to let her know, they would indeed kill each other, but before he could say anything, she continued, “What if it turned into a lovely business?”
.
“There’s only one way to know,” Potter said. “I really think this is a good idea, Draco."
Read "saying yes (instead of no)" on AO3.
***
[Fic] A First Look Into Resurrecting Mummies With the Aid Of the Chosen One, and Why It Should Be Advised Against (an Essay by Draco Malfoy, Assistant Archaeologist)
Prompt: "The Mummy", 1999, Stephen Sommers
Author: @cibeewastaken | Cibee (AO3)
Word Count: 21,948 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: minor violence elements
Summary: Draco hopes to find an ancient spell book rumoured to be in Hamunaptra after Astoria found a map to the lost city. If he makes this discovery, maybe the Magical British Museum will finally look at his application, and his annoying colleague will finally leave him alone. It’s a good plan, until Draco is reunited with Harry Potter for the first time in ten years, as the man is about to be hanged.
Read "A First Look Into Resurrecting Mummies With the Aid Of the Chosen One, and Why It Should Be Advised Against (an Essay by Draco Malfoy, Assistant Archaeologist)" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Wicked Game
Prompt: "Jumanji", 1995 or 2017
Author: DearJames
Word Count: 22,044 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Sexual Content, Implied PTSD
Summary: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy crossed a line during one of their late-night Astronomy Tower Bonding Sessions and neither are sure what that means. Not that they got particularly far, considering they were caught and assigned detention for their antics.
And, now, they've been sucked into a boardgame. That's just fantastic...
Read "Wicked Game" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Love in Three Parts
Prompt: "Bridgerton", 2020, Series
Author: static_abyss
Word Count: 24,172 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Canon-typical content
Notes: Thanks so much to my beta, L, for all her help and her encouragement as I wrote this fic. Thanks to the mods for hosting this fest and to the Anonymous prompter who inspired this fic.
Summary: Draco has everything needed to be the diamond of the season. He has the looks, the pedigree, and if he should be short on the money end, well, it isn't up to him to convince anyone they want to marry him. And yet, he finds himself with no prospects and no suitable matches until Harry James Potter, Wizarding Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor, makes his first appearance in proper Wizarding society for the first time in five years. Together, they hatch a plan to secure Draco a husband and keep the debutantes' mothers away from Harry. And if someone should develop feelings along the way, well, the course of true love never did run smooth.
Read "Love in Three Parts" on AO3.
***
[Fic] He would always win the fight
Prompt: "Killing Eve", 2018 - ongoing, TV Series
Author: Akira-kun
Word Count: 26,578 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Serial Killer, Off Screen Murders, Corpses, Political Polarity, Corruption in Government, Corruption in Justice System, Off Screen Violence, Post War Instability, Ambiguity, Dark!character, Vengeance, In a Twisted Way, Obsessive Behaviour, Crime Mystery, Open Ending
Summary: “But you were always just a puppet, weren’t you, Potter?” That voice kept haunting him, in his dreams and during his days, as if hovering over his shoulder, cold as a ghost, lost and lifeless. He wasn’t sure why it hurt like that. Maybe because it was an ugly truth that Harry hoped no one would ever throw back in his face.
Or maybe because it was Malfoy.
.
Killing Eve inspired Drarry where people are getting killed, Harry is getting desperate, Draco is too sexy for his own good, and all hell will break loose.
Read "He would always win the fight" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Peaches & Cream And A Little Bit Of Acid
Prompt: "Modern Love", 2019, Series
Author: shortie990
Word Count: 27,755 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: suicidal thoughts, mental health issues
Summary: In love there is no real hiding. You have to be pretty up front on who you are. The problem was though, Harry didn’t have a clue who he was one moment from the next.
Read "Peaches & Cream And A Little Bit Of Acid" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Outwit, Outlast, Outplay
Prompt: "Survivor", 2000-ongoing, Series
Author: Albuss
Word Count: 30,976 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Brief homophobia, mentions of past health issues
Summary: Draco loves Survivor. Loves it. So when his job at the Dept. of Mysteries offers him the opportunity to go on as a contestant, he can't think of anything that could go wrong.
He is sorely mistaken, but a little chaos turns out to not be such a bad thing.
Featuring gratuitous descriptions of Survivor game-play, really jargon-y magical theory I got way too excited about, and Draco's best friend Isabelle being an absolute QUEEN.
Read "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" on AO3.
***
[Fic] Advantage Rule
Prompt: "The Queen's Gambit", 2020, Series
Author: @ziezie13
Word Count: 42,738 words
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Character death, Parental neglect, Brief references to eugenics, Sexual content, Mild homophobia, Alcoholism, Drug abuse
Summary: Draco's life has been struggle after struggle. He was exiled as a baby, his mother died, he was forced to live with muggles... Need I go on? Quidditch was supposed to be his escape, but how is he supposed to beat Victor Krum and take the world title if he can't even beat Harry Potter?
~No knowledge of The Queen's Gambit required~
Read "Advantage Rule" on AO3.
***
[Fic] (This Will Be) An Everlasting Love
Prompt: #12 (also fulfils #6) | "While You Were Sleeping," 1995, Jon Turteltaub
Author: @drarrelie & @janieohio
Word Count: 45,139 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: None
Summary: Life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. That’s what Draco’s mother always used to tell him, but Merlin, who could have predicted how right she would be?
A story about feisty dragons, loneliness, family, and friends — and finding love in places you least expect.
Read "(This Will Be) An Everlasting Love" on AO3.
***
[Fic] In a Field of Chrysanthemums and the Woods
Prompt: "The Untamed", 2019, TV-Series
Author: @outstandingmoralfiber
Word Count: 83,399 words
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Summary: Three notes, and yet they made all the difference. Draco could feel it, the slight magic and wavering notes, washing over him in a brief but calming wave that lit his soul and it was then that he knew that he was going to learn how to play this guqin no matter what.
Little did he know that, like dominos, this one simple decision would diverge him onto a path he would've never imagined.
-
Wizarding world in the Untamed setting, (but you don't need to know anything about the Untamed). Drarry AU starting from Goblet of Fire. Rated E for the smut scene in Chapters 13 & 14, but is otherwise rated T.
Read "In a Field of Chrysanthemums and the Woods" on AO3.
***
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#lcdrarry 2021 master list#lcdrarry#lcdrarry2021#lcdrarry 2021#drarry#drarry fic#drarry fic rec#drarry fic recs#drarry fanart#drarry fan art#draco malfoy#harry potter#hp fanart#hp fanfic#draco x harry#harry x draco#hp crossover#hpevent#hp events#hpevents#hp event#drarry event#drarry fest#drarry fests#drarry events#hpfest#hpfests#hp fest#hp fests#sorry that the post was so late
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Obey Me - Dub Voices HC
Here me out, this has been rolling around in my head for a while and need to get it all out there. I even cited some sources. I’m i n v e s t e d.
•Lucifer - J. Michael Tatum
~examples: Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler), Kyoya Ootori (Ouran High School Host Club), Erwin Smith (Attack On Titan)
https://youtu.be/Yj-znysjcys (Do I really need to specify? *sigh* Sebastian Michaelis, that is all)
youtube
•Mammon - Jerry Jewel
~examples: Kyo Sohma (Fruits Basket), Russia (Hetalia), Viktor Nikiforov (Yuri!! On Ice)
https://youtu.be/7cYmb0p6-ns (Best one I could find, honestly I can only picture Mammon with Kyo’s voice in English)
youtube
•Leviathan - Christopher Bevins
~examples: Hanta Sero (My Hero Academia), Yasuhiro Hagakure (Danganrompa), Japan (Hetalia)
https://youtu.be/WRqclKFJ17E (Hear me out on this one, Levi is just Japan without the Japanese accent)
youtube
•Satan - Brandon McInnis
~examples: Mirai Sasoki/Sir Nighteye (My Hero Academia), Patrick Phelps (Black Butler: Book of Murder), Sohnosuke Izoyoi (Danganrompa 3)
https://youtu.be/FhkKHXJAO_c (Specifically Nighteye’s voice here like DAMN)
youtube
•Asmodeus - Todd Haberkorn
~examples: Italy (Hetalia), Death the Kid (Soul Eater), Hikaru Hitachiin (Ouran High School Host Club)
https://youtu.be/IuYZXvibPUI (A ~classique~, honestly to really get the Asmo feel of his voice, you have to watch Hikaru [specifically the way he speaks to Kaoru, in the fake twincest moments] or Italy when he finds pretty ladies)
youtube
•Beelzebub - Travis Willingham
~examples: Colonel Roy Mustang (Full Metal Alchemist/Brotherhood), Takashi Morinozuka (Ouran High School Host Club), Cell (Dragon Ball Universe)
https://youtu.be/c-cpbRn1AfE (Listen, I’m no coward. I will tell you I picked this voice actor specifically because almost every character he’s voiced, I have a crush on. And Beel should be no exception)
youtube
•Belphegor - Austin Tindle
~examples: Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Marco Bodt (Attack On Titan)
https://youtu.be/0dOBcQN10YY (Ken Kaneli immediately popped in to my head for Belphie because not only could he be soft spoken and also scary as hell, but listen to how much of a little shit Karma can be; that’s straight Belphie)
youtube
•Diavolo - Christopher Sabat
~examples: Yagi Toshinori/All Might (My Hero Academia), Vageta (Dragon Ball Universe), Ayame Sohma (Fruits Basket)
https://youtu.be/JXU6v4ri1Zg (The true voice of an old man trying to stay hip with the kids *chefs kiss*)
youtube
•Barbatos - Benjamin Diskin
~examples: Ban (Seven Deadly Sins), Joseph Joestar (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, season 2), Sai (Naruto)
https://youtu.be/godLNT6HypI (He’s also Nigel Uno from Kids Next Door and I can’t stop hearing Numbah One in all these characters now)
•Solomon - Eric Vale
~examples: Yuki Sohma (Fruits Basket), Tomura Shigaraki (My Hero Academia), Kisumi Shigino (Free!)
https://youtu.be/yDzZfahnu3Q (Definitely more of a Yuki vibe until he does some shady shit and then you get a splash of Shigaraki)
•Simeon - Micah Solusod
~examples: Tsunagu Hakamata/Best Jeanist (My Hero Academia), Yuno (Black Clover), Soul Evans (Soul Eater)
https://youtu.be/2muiy5SRxs8 (Just like, all the times his characters are soft bois™, that’s Simeon talking)
•Luke - Vic Mignogna
~examples: Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist/Brotherhood), Tamaki Suoh (Ouran High School Host Club), Broly (Dragon Ball Universe)
https://youtu.be/bvpJjbphJWQ (SPOILER WARNING: if you haven’t watched Fullmetal Alchemist [Brotherhood or otherwise], just listen to the first like 30 seconds or so, the way he does Ed’s kid voice is so Luke. I figured Japan picked a male actor to play Luke, so even though his character could be dubbed by a woman and have an equally as amazing performance, if I had to pick a male kid voice, young Ed hits the nail on the head)
[Side note, I would NOT be mad if Luke was played by Maxey Whitehead, who plays Alphonse Elric in FMA: Brotherhood, AND Crona from Soul eater. She would also make an amazing Luke]
#obeyme#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me luficer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me brothers#obey me undateables#Youtube
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