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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

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AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

So they do have the gene 😭 well I think they'd have to so they still probably have a chance of not getting it

I think they would've already outright said if they did (also I looked it up, since I'm doing this a little while later because I was doing something, and yeah it's basically 50/50)

AAAAHHHHHHH YEP CONFIRMATION TK HAS IT TOO 😭😭😭😭

AAAAAHHHHH CARLOSSS 😭😭😭 MY BOYSSS

S T O P P P HE LOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN AND LOST 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️

I just love him so much 😭😭

I will be glad to get the tarlos moments though :')

OPE that doesn't look good o.o

Oh no 😭 and poor guy to be in that bad of shape too :((

Uhhh ohhhh

Then how are they gonna get him out? Or like save him I mean if they have to

I mean they're them so they'll probably stay

AAHHHH YEP EVACUATION

:O NO! TOMMY NO!

AAAAHHHHHHHH

UH OH UH OH UH OH

TOMMMMYYY

OH NO O.O

I don't think they'd permanently/majorly injure someone or kill them off this close to the wedding but still A A H

I'm stressed xd

That's the last of my last thoughts! Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I looved this episode!! I always love Grace storylines and even though I was scared for her for half of it (seeing the girl in the bathtub and remembering what this episode was gonna be was STRESSFUL let me tell you xD), she slayed so hard this episode :DD. By the way the two o's in "loved" was on purpose lol, three (more obviously on purpose) just didn't fit quite right. Anyway, I also enjoyed the Robert and TK/Owen/kind of Carlos plot as well :D! Even if we didn't see to much of it :). But I am S C A R E D. I honestly don't know how this will end up. Anyway, it was great to see the team :D, even if it wasn't too much, and it was nice how even with these bigger plots going on, the type of episode without other calls, we still had one since it led up to the main storyline :). And of course we love Grace and Carlos working together again 🥰🥰. So yeah, just a really great episode all around :D. A bit heartbreaking though xd.

Now it's time for the individual parts!

Marjan! She was great this episode :D. Also, I considered putting most of the team together, but I decided not to and to just put everyone separate this episode :)). Anyway, we didn't see her much, but she slayed as always 🥰. She was great at her job :D. I love her 🥰🥰.

Paul! He was great this episode too, even if we didn't see him much :D. Also we've seen it before but I just love him being the honest one lol xD :). Little details like that are what help bring it together and make them feel like a family :). Anyway, he was great at his job this episode 🥰. Even in the face of relighting fire lol. I love him <33.

Mateo! Even though we didn't see much of him this episode, he was great :D. He also survived (I say that not quite literally but, secondarily, literally as well xD) the relighting fire lol, so good for him xD :D. And he was great at his job this episode :)). Also him saying TK's face looked symmetrical XD. Way to be too specific so we know it's the opposite my boy, lol <33. I love him 🥰🥰❤️.

Nancy! She was great this episode :D. I loved her little interrupt lunch line xD. Anyway, she was great at her job 🥰. Even through the crazy that was illegal organ transplant man xd. Though at least she fared better than TK lol. She did help find the guy though, so that was good :D. But yeah :))! I love her ❤️❤️🥰.

Tommy! She was great this episode 🥰. I especially loved her little moments with Grace :)). Like at the fire station, but even more so the one at the end with her telling Grace to stop moving xD. It's just little things but they're adorable :'). They're besties, your honor <33. Also, she better be okay next episode 😭. I think she probably will, almost definitely, but that doesn't stop me from being afraid xd. She wouldn't leave that man there though, so hopefully they both make it out <33. Safely, as well lol. Even if they have to be rescued, they better be okay :'). Or at least Tommy, no offense sir lol. But back to this episode, I'm glad she managed to help solve everything :). She was great at her job :D. I love her 🥰🥰.

Owen! I live in FEAR!! Anyway xD, he was great this episode lol :). His little moments with Robert were so cute 🥰. He just wants to be brothers your honor :D. I like just said that but whatever I don't care xD. Anyway, I'm glad they get to spend this time together <33. Especially given the news at the end of the episode 😭. I think Owen has a worse chance writing wise than TK, but we'll just have to see. But based on my little bit of research, TK's not even at risk if Owen doesn't have it. So. AAH. Anyway xd. Scary <3. I really do hope everything ends up okay :((. But I'll talk a bit more about that in Judd's - you'll see why. Anyway, I don't think we even saw Owen work this episode xD. But, I'm sure he was good at his job lol :). I love him <33 ❤️.

TK! AAAAHHHHHHHH!! Once again, I LIVE IN FEAR!! Anyway, we'll get to that in a moment xdd. TK was great this epsiode 🥰. Poor man got injured again xdd. I would say punched again, but I don't think we've seen him get punched since 1x03 lol, so I don't think that really counts XD. And he didn't get a concussion, just a black eye, so I'mma just stick to injury. Still, it's just a very TK thing to do xdd. Well, happen to him more than do lol. Anyway xD. Man was going through it lol <33. And he'll be going through it MORE, NEXT EPISODE 😭😭. Sorry, sorry, still not time yet xD. Anyway, seeing him be so excited to meet Robert was so sweet :'DD. And find out about his cousins, of course 🥰🥰. I doubt we'll get it but I honestly really wanna see them come by for a visit at some point in the future, so TK can be a big cousin :'D. Anyway, it was super cute :')). And I love that Robert gave him the journal 😭. So sweet :')). Now TK has a chance to know his grandfather a bit :'D. Loved it <33. Ahh, anyway, I have to mention again that I just enjoyed them mentioning TK getting decked by that guy lol. Idk, it's hard to explain 🥰. I think it's just my love of angst, acknowledgement of injury, and outsider pov lol xDD. Anyway, now, about next episode 😭. I am S C A R E D!! I don't THINK they'd have TK find this out right before his wedding, but I'm not totally sure. I think, like I said, it has a better chance of Owen having it and TK not. Especially since, based on TK research, Owen would have to have it for TK to have a chance of having it. So unless the scare is before they find out if Owen has it or not (and TK's just saying in the scene we saw a bit of, or whatever scene he says it in if it isn't that tarlos scene, that it's in their family) and then it turns out neither of them have it, realistically I'm more eorried about Owen o.o. But favoritism wise I'm more worried about TK xD. I just really hope it all ends up okay 😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️. I just want them both to be okay <33. I am really sorry for Robert though :((. And it sucks that they'll have to lose him <33 :'((. Maybe we'll see the cousins then lol. Anyway xD. TK was great at his job this episode :). I'm glad he helped find the guy, and we even got a little tarlos moment out of it :D. Yes I'm talking about the "babe", leave me alone XD. And of course the scene after getting punched with the 126 was amazing lol. I love him 🥰🥰❤️❤️.

Judd! He was great this episode :D. I loved all the him and Grace moments 🥰🥰. They are my babeys your honor <333. And I just love how no matter what, even when he needs to call her out, he always supports her <33. They always support each other :')). It's just so great to see <33. And the bit at the end was amazing XD. First fod all, the little forehead kiss 😭😭😭😭?? I'm dead <333, theya re so adorbale your honor :')) <3333. And then him telling off the Detective dude xDD - gold. Literally amazing lol <33. Anyway, I'm so glad Grace is okay, and obviously Judd is too :')). Also, Charlie content <333. We love to see it :D 🥰🥰. And ik I'm just repeaitng the same stuff but the call comforting her, wanting to take off work and take her home, giving he a shoulder massage - he loves her so much and he was there for her every step of the way 😭. Your honor I just love them <333. Anyway, now about next episode xdd. I say xdd because it looks like it's gonna be so crazy lol. But you may be wondering: Oasis, what does that have to do with Judd? Because he looks to be in charge, probably while Owen deals with the situation caused by this week's news? Well, partly, my dear friends, but that's not entriely it. xD. Now, here's the thing. When I went to rewatch the promo (which I did like three times in a row lol) so I could remember little details and the order of things for my delayed liveblogging of it, I saw a comment that was basically like "Is Judd captain now?". Here's the thing: we've been seeing that a lot lately. We know he's basically next in line. I say basically because I mean like "next in line" lol. Anyway! My point is, we've been seeing it a lot. And now, Owen is being threatened by a terminal illness. As in, he might have one. We know he wants Judd to take over should he retire or should something happen to him, which I basically already said, but I bring up because that was after a life threatening experience. He's already been thinking about this. So, though this part I didn't specifically think about until just now (and I don't feel like going back and adding it to Owen's), I wouldn't be surprised if Owen retired next episode. I mean, I would till be surprised, but if he receives a Huntington's diagnosis, I wouldn't be surprised :'(. We've been transitioning Judd viewer wise, having seen him direct so many calls, so it would make sense. But my original thought wasn't that specific. Just that seeing Judd in this role so often would prepare us for Owen leaving, one way or another. And Huntington's would definitely be a reason to do that. And now that I think about it, especially if he wants to spend time with his brother. He even said this episode he was having to take a fair amount of time off work. There's just a bunch of layers to it and whole I'd hate it, I think it would make sense if it does happen. I mean, I'd love Judd as captain, he'd be great at it (as we've seen). But I just don't want that big change right now xd. In my life and also in the timeline of the show lol. And I don't wanna lose Owen <33. Because if he retired, there would be no choice but to see him less. And while sometimes I wouldn't mind that xD, I don't want him gone :'(. I'd miss him <3. But, hopefully this is all just conjecture :'), and Judd's takeover that makes it sound like a hostile takeover lol) doesn't happen till farther in the future :')). I won't say much farther, but past all of this lol. Anyway, back to Judd this episode xd (honestly the future stuff as accidentally more about Owen but whatever, it was also about Judd and if I talk about it in the first one I have to talk about it in both, instead of just the second lol xD it's just more dramatic this way XD). He slayed so hard 🥰. And, as always, he loves Grace with his entire being :DD. I love him <33 ❤️🥰❤️.

Carlos! He was great this episode :D. Like I've said, I love a good Carlos and Grace team up 🥰🥰. I'm so glad we got them again this episode :D. Yk, I was scared (not literally but like ohh noo that would be awkward lol) that TK's section would be longer than Judd's, since I'm kind of puting them in length/focus order, but now I'm thinking Carlos and Grace's won't be aslon as Judd's xD. Ah well, he was sharing some of it with Owen lol. Anyway xD. WE FINALLY GOT NEWS ON DETECTIVE REYES!! It's unfortunately not happening xdd xD. I mean, I think there's still a chance it'll happen in the future (especially if he gets injured or something, but I don't want him to be forced into it xd - or if they do end up having kids I feel like it's more likely. Not necessarily more likely than patrol cop, but more likely to happen then than at another time), but for right now it appears to be a no go :/. I really do want it at some point, but at the same time, I like having him as a patrol officer :D. If only there were something in between xd. I mean, besides him just helping out when he can. But with all his skills I think I will probably happen eventually. I will say though, from a writing standpoint patrol officer does make more sense. With Carlos as a patrol officer he can have more professional interactions with the other characters than he would as a detective. They're much more likely to see each other on calls. So yeah, I don't think they'll just leave it entirely, but it could at least be a more central and solid storyline in the future, the choice and whatnot. But, eh, we'll see :D. For now I just love him 🥰🥰. And I'll love him no matter what :D :). Anyway, I'm scared for TK next week 😭. And thus I'm scared for him <33. But I'm also really excited for that tarlos scene :'DD, the (all, hopefully) the others we'll get :')) 🥰. Presumably lol. But I'm sure there will be at least a couple xD. Anyway, he was amazing at his job this week :)). I'm so glad they caught the trafficking ring :'D. Vengeance for Liz :'). I may have gotten her name wrong there so that's awkward but I'll check later and edit if I'm wrong, even if it's after this sentence lol. Anyway, justice for her and all those other girls too :'DD 🥰🥰🥰. That's great <33. I'm so proud of them all - the victims, and everyone for solving it :D. But yeah, Carlos was awesome :')). I love him <33 ❤️🥰.

Grace! She was amazing this episode :DDD 🥰🥰. She slayed so hard 🥰 :D. Liz (again, I think that was her name xd) dying was so sad DD': 😭😭💔. And I felt so bad for Grace :'((. Not to even mention the part about Charlie - no matter how awful it is, she's right. She's had to fear that, and she has to fear it for Charlie, and that's just horrible :'(( 😭💔. But I'm glad this time everything worked out okay :')) <33. Well, not okay, but they caught them :'). They put a stop to the trafficking ring and I'm so proud of them all <3. But especially Grace :'D. She was there from the beginning, she was investigating form the beginning, she was bringing people in and protecting what people she could. Even if some of it was reckless xD, she did wonderful and I'm so proud of her <33. I know I already said it but it bears repeating xD. And like I also said earlier, Grace and Carlos ALWAYS slay :DD. I know we've only gotten them one other time, unless you count searching for Marjan (I'll probably count that as half lol), but their team up is legendary :)) ;). I love them together <33. Anyway, I'm so glad Grace is okay :'D. I was SCARED with that promo o.o, and throughout the episode, but I figured she would be okay. But some of that figuring was hope, and eve when you know they'll be okay it's still scary xdd. But, she's alright :)). Because she's really freaking smart and an amazing actress xD :D. Honestly, her switching the glasses was so good XD. I didn't think about her doing that but I figured she had to know it was dosed so I just didn't know what would happen lol. Anyway, I feel kind of bad that she was the main character this episode, and the last in the review, but her section will probably be smaller than the last three xd. I still love my girl though <333. And it'll be close, maybe longer than the last one, so eh :)). Anyway, I have to say again that I loved her and Judd this episode :'DD. They're always adorbale but it's always nice to see how much they love each other :')) <333. Those two "always"s are very close together but it just needed to be that way lol. Anyway, they're just so sweet, and they had a bunch of tender moments too :')). As per usual, lol ❤️. They're just great and I love my children so much <33. It's just beautiful to see how much they love each other and how supportive they are of one another :'DD. Anyway, yeah <333. Grace was amazing at he job his episode :)). I love her ❤️❤️🥰🥰 <33.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! I thought the plots were great, and there were some really funny moments xD. There were also some really heartbreaking ones 😭, but they were great too <3. Honestly there wasn't too much humor this episode, but it still worked :). Everyone was great, even if we didn't see them much. I am SCARED for next time though xdd. For several people, lol - namely Tommy, Owen, and TK, but just in general lol. And AAHHH the last one before the finale :'D. I can't y'all it doesn't feel like it's over yet xd. But alas, it almost is :'D. At least then I won't have to worry about them all the time though, lol xD. It's like they're my reckless children lol (really, they are). Anyway! I loved this episode :)). It really brought the drama, but it also has a lot of really sweet moments :'DD 🥰. Emotions all around, and it was amazing :)).

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was really great. I'm scared for the next one! This ahs been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 15: Donors

It was amazing! I'm really excited for the next episode, but I'm also super nervous. I'll be back here next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 16: A House Divided

See you next week!

#9-1-1 lone star #911 lone star #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #ayy same day review!!#I live in fear for the next episode :))#even the title makes me nervous 😭 xdd xD #anyway!! great episode lots of drama very lovely 10/10 #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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ahundredtimesover · 3 years

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Inevitable (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!)

Chapter Word count: 7.2k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: So appreciative of your love for this story! I’m quite nervous with this one because I had to make changes last minute so I hope you still enjoy it. Also, you can message me if you want to be part of the taglist (or if I missed tagging you)!

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“Thank you again, Mr. Jeon. Quite frankly, this still feels surreal but we’re so glad you’re back.”

Jungkook bows at the man, one of the executives of the Doosan Bears, one he’d just had a meeting with, which followed an interview with a sports writer.

For the past week, Jungkook’s days have been filled with meeting and talking to many people, forcing smiles and making conversations that quite frankly tire him but he welcomes this, knowing that any beat of silence will just force his mind to settle on you. And his pain. And his anger.

The man stops him in the hallway to point at a frame of the elder Jeon holding up the team’s 1999 championship trophy.

“Hopefully you’ll have one, too, and we’ll place it right next to this,” he says, a statement that Jungkook’s been hearing in a variety of forms the past few days of interviews and appearances.

It’s different this time because his father had achieved so many things back here, a national hero if people wanted to stretch it. Here, Jungkook has to live up to expectations, which many people believe he’ll exceed. His father, a good player and an even better leader, had been loved by many in the sports world, and it’s an honor they get to watch Jungkook play in the flesh, reminiscent of the man that many adored.

In the US, they didn’t know his father, so Jungkook was able to pave his own path there, make a name for himself guided only by the thought and dream of his hero, and not living in his shadow. It’s a dream they shared and one he’d achieved.

But for the first time, it doesn’t comfort Jungkook. For the first time, it angers him. It’s that dream that took you away from him, that took Jungwon away from him. It’s this dream that essentially broke his heart in ways he never imagined.

Everyone is quiet as they absorb everything that Jungkook has said. Since that day at your apartment, he’d been radio silent when it came to his friends, but he’s here at Jin’s loft now, with Jimin whom he’s still cold towards, and Yoongi and Hoseok who complete the group, as they’re Jin’s and Namjoon’s friends from college who’d gotten close to the young ones, too.

They’re glad they finally have the time to just be together after a crazy week. Ironically, it’s a somber event. This isn’t how they imagined welcoming the young one home.

They’re incomplete though. By nature of the concern at hand, Taehyung isn’t around; he’d left the group chat anyway so he wouldn’t have known that Jungkook messaged - finally, after a week of bombarding everyone with messages about you only to stop after he stormed out of your apartment. Namjoon is also not here, still not checking their group chat.

“Wow, I can’t believe ___ was pregnant all that time and had been able to keep the kid from us for years,” Hoseok finally speaks up, shock still evident in his voice. He’d been the one most vocal in stating what everyone else was thinking, the rest opting to just shut up and leave the talking to Jungkook, who’s now allowed himself to once again feel all the emotions in the presence of his friends.

They know that very little things get to him - whether they’re external stressors, outside pressure, naysayers, envious people, or school, he’d always been able to manage them.

He rarely gets angry, too, and doesn’t really let negative feelings fester, so Jungkook with a piercing gaze, pursed lips, flared nostrils, and clenched fists, as he is right now, is an unfamiliar sight to them.

And it’s all because of you.

Jungkook never took the very few relationships he had before you seriously; he’d been too focused on the sport ever since he was a kid.

But you captured him immediately and since that day at the field when he’d thrown a baseball and almost hit Taehyung on the arm and you’d shouted at Jungkook relentlessly for being a careless jerk, he knew that he’d want to shut you up with kisses just so you could get mad at him again.

He’d been a cheeky sophomore then, enjoying the bit of popularity he was gaining in Seoul for being an immediate standout of their university’s baseball team - the Pride of Busan, he’d been called - and he hadn’t expected this beautiful woman to almost knock him out for almost hitting her friend, even if Taehyung had been adamant that the hit was several centimeters off.

“I have better aim than that,” Jungkook had told you smugly, and his heart fluttered at the gagging face you made.

He wasn’t usually that bold but he felt it was worth it, especially if it was to see you scowl then try to hide a smile after. It took a few days until you’d given him more than 5 minutes of your time, then another few weeks before you finally agreed to a date, and then just two months to convince you that he was definitely worthy to be something more.

You both knew you’d fallen in love with each other even before either of you said it, the words always catching in your throats whenever you tried, but then he finally did, and he was over the moon when you’d said it back and he’d never been happier.

Even when you walked out that door and out of his life that December evening, he’d held onto you, your lingering presence enough for you to still be his anchor, his love, his guiding light.

He never thought that at one point, he’d beg for that to not be you. Just the thought of you sends him into a spiral, not of heartbreak or despair like before, he reckons that was even better; but of the feeling of resentment and betrayal.

Everyone’s chatter faints into background noise for a while, with Jungkook’s friends saying maybe you’d come back to Seoul only recently, hearing from Namjoon that you stayed in Daejeon with your cousin to work at a tech company. It had been a mystery how none of them caught up sooner, having only seen you twice a year at most and not knowing anything else.

“Ask Jimin,” Jungkook chimes in bitterly. “He was in on it anyway.”

The three older men turn to the man in question, Jimin meeting their curious gazes with a guilty look, knowing at some point Jungkook would grill him.

“Remember that woman I dated two years ago, the teacher?” He sighs.

Everyone nods.

“I surprised her one time at the daycare center where she was working. That’s how I bumped into ___. It was pretty obvious at first glance that Jungwon is Kook’s kid. I mean,” Jimin smiles, thinking about the little boy who’s taken his heart as well, reminding him of the best parts of Jungkook that's laid dormant for years. “Wide eyes, shy smile, puffy cheeks and soft features. It was unmistakable.”

Jimin remembers that day well, how flustered you’d been, arriving at the daycare an hour late and profusely apologizing to the staff. He’d stopped you then, his shocked face enough to let you know what he was thinking as you held the boy in your arms. It didn’t take long for you to tell him the truth, begging him not to tell his best friend.

“He’s finally playing in the major league, Jimin. There are too many good things going on for him there. I mean he— he’s happy. It won’t do good for me to tell him now,” you’d told him.

Jimin could’ve pressed more, should’ve gone to the root of your decision to hide it in the first place, or maybe even convinced you to tell Jungkook the truth, but you looked too stressed, a permanent fixture on your face, he thought, and he didn’t want to push it.

So he left it at that, knowing as well that between the pressure to do well and the rumors going around, this type of news would be a big hit to Jungkook. Ultimately, Jimin didn’t think it was his place to meddle; the most he could do was support you any way he could.

“How is he, the kid?” Jin questions, knowing his cousin would want to know but is too stubborn and angry to ask.

“The sweetest,” Jimin beams. “He’s pretty shy but becomes playful once he’s warmed up to you. He’s smart, just like ___, and is so caring, he's very affectionate and even talks to insects and—“ he pauses, as Yoongi nudges his knee and motions for him to stop.

Jungkook is still, jaws clenched again at the thought that these are things he doesn’t know and for obvious reasons. Thinking about how Taehyung and Jimin have done so much more for and with his own kid hurts him.

He loves his friends, knows he should be thankful that they’d been there for you and Jungwon but he can’t shake off the frustration, the jealousy. He wonders if any other man had the privilege of getting to know his son that way, of getting close to him.

He wonders, too, if any other man had gotten close to you. That’s a pang in his chest he doesn’t want to dwell on.

“Look, I’m really sorry, Kook. But a lot of things were happening with you then, too and I didn’t want to just drop that news to you. It would have been too much and—“

“You too?” Jungkook huffs. “I fucking hate it when people think they can just decide on such things about my life without me having a say. Wouldn't that piss you off if it happened to you?”

He’s met with silence.

It’s what gets him, really, the fact that people he trusted couldn’t afford him the decency of letting him decide, of trusting him that whatever happens, he was gonna figure it out.

“Wanna know what I think?” Yoongi speaks up.

“No,” Jungkook responds.

“That was hypothetical,” Yoongi says and shifts in his seat. “We all know ___. She’s very self-assured, sometimes to a fault, but she’s not rash, she’s not selfish. She might have decided on her own but it doesn’t mean she didn’t consider you.”

“She still should’ve talked to me about it. It was too big of a decision to not include me in it,” Jungkook retorts.

“But she was right, wasn’t she? You would have stayed. She knows you too well that you would’ve given up everything.”

“Why does everyone make it sound so bad? Of course I would’ve. That’s my son! I’m not the kind of person who would turn his back on that responsibility,” Jungkook bites back.

“It isn’t bad, but that’s precisely the point. Did you ask yourself why she thought it was worth it? Why she believed that the better option was to not be truthful for as long as you got to live out your dream? For as long as you got to reap the benefits of what you’ve worked so hard for?” Yoongi posits.

Jungkook stills, lips starting to quiver as he processes his friend’s questions.

“Baseball has always been your whole world, Jungkook. She shared you with it. It was all you talked about - the dream, what it meant to you, the connection with your father, the joy you’d feel when playing and hearing the cheers… We knew that, she knew that,” Yoongi continues.

“Your dream made you, Kook. It was all you knew, and she never complained. She loved you the same. And even with all your anger towards her right now, you know she wouldn’t try to take that dream away from you. Even if it means hurting both of you in the process.”

“But she meant so much to me, too. I would’ve done anything for her, and I thought she knew that,” Jungkook whimpers. He’d never once doubted what he felt for you and he always thought it was enough.

“Yeah, but do you think that was her first thought when she found out she was pregnant? That you’d give up your dream for her without any consequences down the line? She knew you would’ve stayed because you’re the kind of person to do that, but she also knew what that would mean, what that would do to you, and what that would do to them.”

Yoongi, ever the wise one of the group, makes everyone think.

The silence is deafening, but Jungkook doesn’t miss the way the guys have taken to slight nods and furrowed brows.

“Baseball was too important to you. She probably believed you’d lose more if you didn’t take the opportunity then. Not being there for her and your son was something she maybe thought you could always make up for,” Yoongi states.

Of your brother’s friends, Yoongi had always been the one you were closest to, spent the most nights at parties with, talking and agreeing on things. This is probably why he gets it, gets why you felt like you had to do what you did.

“Kook, don’t think she never planned on telling you. She never meant to keep it a secret forever,” Jimin says, recalling your claims that you just needed the right time to eventually tell Jungkook. “Maybe that’s why you’re even more frustrated; maybe you think she never wanted to involve you. Of course she does. You were her whole world and—“

“Baseball was mine,” Jungkook finishes, resigning to the idea that that's what you always thought, and you weren’t wrong. “She thinks I’d resent them down the road if I stayed and gave up on my dream.”

“I love you, Kook, but that fear is valid,” Jin says. “I’m not saying I agree with her decision but I think I get where she’s coming from.”

“But hey, you have all the right to be angry,” Hoseok says, disrupting the silence that’s enveloped everyone again. “Just don’t be so consumed by it, okay? You’re back, you have more of a reason to stay, so just think of where you need to go from here. You have all of us, you and ___ and Jungwon have all of us.”

Jungkook wipes off the tears that have silently fallen down his cheeks, the most he’s cried in front of his friends in years. It had been a change on his end after the break up - the walls he put up, the control he had over his emotions, the once soft heart hardening in places to make sure he wouldn’t hurt as much again. He hates to admit that it had all been because of you.

Jin’s phone rings and cuts through the silence that’s tainted with short sniffles.

“Namjoon saw the chat, wonders if he could come,” Jin asks.

“No need, I’m gonna leave soon,” Jungkook responds.

Jin relays the message to Namjoon who sends his own, then finishes the call.

“He said he wants to check up on you, too. You should meet up with him, I think it’d be good. It’s Namjoon, Kook. He loves his sister to death but you know he’ll be objective about it, too. Think about it, okay?”

Jungkook nods then lets some time pass before he leaves.

He thinks about it that night until the wee hours of the morning. For the first time, he thinks about what you felt the moment you found out, about what you were feeling and thinking that led you to decide to break up, and if you really planned on making him believe that you didn’t think it’d work out to cover up the truth.

Everything the guys said tonight rings in his head. What made you think this was the better option? What made you think he’d lose more if he gave up on the dream instead of being in your and Jungwon’s life? Why did you think his dream was more important than his life with you? Why did you think he’d resent you down the road?

It’s not lost on him that his dream seemed to trump everything else. It would always go back to that, it would always be about that, how even during that life-changing moment of you finding out you were carrying his child, what you considered was him and baseball.

He recalls the days leading up to the break up, how your conversations had been about his move, but never about the two of you. He chalked it up to thinking it was a given, that of course you’d stay together. He never realized that it wasn’t actually clear to you; it had been a given to him but not to you.

Jungkook doesn’t remember fights about lack of time because of training, or him not being in the mood after a bad game. Everything you’ve ever been to him was patient, understanding, and accepting of the sport he’d dedicated his whole life to, like it was a given, like it was the most important thing, like it was the third party in your relationship. And you never complained.

He loved you for that and more, for the fighter that you were, for the strong and goal-oriented woman that you were, for the thoughtful and warm-hearted person you’ve always been. He loved you so much. He’d fallen so hard that he willingly gave you his heart and let you do whatever you wanted with it, as long you had it. Because of that, you hurt him so terribly, he didn’t know how he could recover.

He thinks now that maybe it was on him, too. Maybe he didn’t tell you enough just how much you meant to him. Maybe he could’ve done more, appreciated you more, or at least let you know that you were just as much a part of his plan the way baseball was.

Maybe then you would’ve trusted him that you two would work it out, that it would be okay if he had to let go of his dream to be the partner that you needed, to be the father you needed him to be for your child.

But maybe you both didn’t know any better, he also thinks. You were so young, maybe it was too much to ask you to trust him, maybe you were also right not to. He’d definitely grown up the past years, and maybe he wouldn’t have if you didn’t break his heart the way you did.

He thinks about how you’d been the past years, too, how you took care of Jungwon on your own, how hard it must’ve been for you. But any more and he knows he’ll break down, and he doesn’t trust himself doing that alone.

He sighs at all the thoughts in his head and his mixed emotions. But his friends are right. He’s home now - he has all the resources, the time - what matters is what happens next.

He wants to understand better, and to know what you went through but he can’t bring himself to ask you. He knows you’ll brush off the sacrifices, the struggles; you never wanted to make others see your vulnerability, know of your weakest moments. So he decides to ask someone else. It’s 4AM but he doesn’t care.

[To: Namjoon]: Can we meet up? Jin’s bar at 7pm. See you.

“Uncle Tete, I choose this one!” Jungwon excitedly says, pointing at a toy submarine on the shelf. Taehyung is quick to retrieve the item then puts it in the cart.

“Okay, what else does this muffin want?”

“Tae, I said one thing,” you sigh. “Also, can you make sure that toy doesn’t have removable parts so he doesn’t attract kind strangers to help him?”

Your best friend rolls his eyes but Jimin chuckles next to you. “___, that broken airplane brought you to Jungkook. Plus, Jungwon wandered away; imagine if some other stranger found him,” he says.

“Shut up, I’m traumatized. That wasn’t the best way to let Jungkook know. Plus, I was so flustered that I lied and said I was babysitting,” you groan to yourself. You always knew how to carry yourself but it was really only Jungkook who ever made you feel nervous.

“I made it seem like I really meant to lie and you know that’s not true. I just didn’t know he was gonna be back. And you didn’t tell me,” you glare at Jimin.

“You think I didn’t give him shit for not telling me?” He replies. “Only Jin knew. Even I didn’t think he’d actually sign with the Bears. Everything was so fast. Before I knew it, he was already boarding a plane back home.”

“Well, he did say he didn’t wanna bug you since you’ve been so busy with your show,” Tae says from the shelf next to you. “Jungwon wants this puppy towel, by the way. Can I buy it for him?”

“Tae, I said just one thing. Stop spoiling him. We’re supposed to buy his school supplies,” you whine.

“Right, his father’s gonna hate me even more,” he mumbles.

“Okay, muffin. Mama said just one thing. Let’s go look at crayons now,” Tae tells Jungwon who smiles back at him and agrees.

“How’s rehearsal by the way?” You ask Jimin.

“Good. Just a few more weeks and we’re ready to go,” he says, excited over the Swan Lake show that his company is putting on. You’re excited, too, certain he’s going to do well. Being a professional ballerina is so much work but he’s always exceeded expectations. You know it can get stressful so maybe that’s why Jungkook didn’t bother informing him earlier.

“You’re watching, okay? The first show and the last, it’s when everyone is watching, too,” he says.

“You don’t have to ask, Jimin. Of course, I’ll be there. Sucks that Jungwon won’t get to see his uncle perform though.”

“Okay, just making sure, since Jungkook is here and all.”

“You should ask him, then. He’s the one who detests me,” you sigh.

“He doesn’t detest you, ___. He’s just angry, and with reason.”

You don’t miss the stern tone of his voice. You always felt the disappointment that Jimin felt towards you with what happened, even stayed away for a while after the breakup. Moving back to your parents’ home had been a good escape, seeing as how you didn’t know how to face your friends after everything.

It wasn’t until 2 years ago when Jimin bumped into you at the daycare that you two got to talking again. You know he decided to stick around for Jungwon, but it always worried you that he’d eventually tell Jungkook but he never did, which you were thankful for.

“I never said it wasn’t justified. I mean, after last week, I hope he stays angry at me, you know? And for a long time. I deserve that.”

“Hey, don’t talk that way.”

“You think I’m wrong? That I don’t deserve his anger?”

Jimin sighs. The department store really isn’t the best place for this but he proceeds anyway.

“It’s not that. I mean, it’s one thing to hurt him by suddenly breaking up with. And I won’t lie to you, ___, you broke him. That night, I found him curled in a ball by the door, unmoving, kind of like how I used to find him when we were younger… after his dad died.”

You release a long breath, not even wanting to imagine a balled-up Jungkook, sobbing. You heard him that night, how he begged for you to please don’t go. You walked away from the closed door then, as any moment longer would’ve just made you take it back.

“But it’s also another thing to lie about his son,” Jimin continues.

“You know I had to do it; he wouldn’t have agreed to break up if I didn’t make him believe that I didn’t want him anymore. And I had to keep Jungwon from him because I couldn’t let him stay. I mean, Jungkook and I just couldn’t be together, it wasn’t that easy.“

“Weren’t there other options?” Jimin wonders. “Maybe like, I don’t know, going with him?”

He’d heard Jungkook mention in passing before about possibly asking you to go with him but he doesn’t know if his best friend ever got to ask.

No one really knows what happened that night; Jungkook never said anything more than it’s over. No explanations, no follow-ups. Three days later, he talked to the school administration and requested for an early completion of his requirements so he could leave for the US as soon as possible.

“It never really entered my mind… I mean, I got pregnant after the deal was finalized and that was not an option at all,” you explain. “It would’ve been too hard, too scary. I mean, we were still so young and to be in a foreign place, by ourselves, with a child? And we were just together for 2 years, that would’ve been a huge step and—“

“Did you doubt what he felt?”

“What do you mean?”

“You talk as if you didn’t think you were ready as a couple for that step. You two loved each other so much. He loved you so, so much, ___. Doesn’t matter how hard things would’ve been, he would’ve done everything he could to make sure you two would make it, he would’ve done whatever he needed to make you happy.”

“It’s not that simple, Jimin. He needed support there, needed someone to help him and make things easier, not someone - more like two people - to take care of and what would have I done for him? What would have I offered?”

“That wouldn’t have mattered though, right? He always wanted to make you happy, being with you would’ve been enough, I mean, he loved you that much.”

Jimin is met with silence, and it hits him what Yoongi was pointing out the night before, and it crushes him. Maybe if you knew just how much you mattered to Jungkook, maybe you would’ve trusted him, maybe you would’ve trusted the both of you.

You let out a deep sigh instead. You never doubted Jungkook’s love for you; you just knew there were other more important things, things he‘s dedicated much more time on, unlike you.

You shake the thoughts away. You know that dwelling on the what if’s won’t help your mind and your heart, especially now.

You and Jimin settle on watching Taehyung help Jungwon decide on which crayons and colored clay to choose for art class, smiling at the little boy who’s been nothing but the sweetest angel.

Your smile fades away though, at the thought of how it must be for him too, meeting all these men who always introduce themselves as his uncle, never his father.

Jungwon had asked you only twice - one time when he asked if he was made of magic because there was this older kid in the playground who said that her mommy and daddy made her but Jungwon didn’t have a daddy; the other time was more straightforward, just where is Papa.

That kind of pain is truly unmatched, you think, and you settle for telling the little kid that his Papa is somewhere doing good things but that Papa loves him even if he isn’t around. No promises, no false hope. You made the choice and your kid shouldn’t suffer too much for it - you know Jungkook would love him no matter what.

“How has Jungkook been, by the way? And I want the truth, Jimin,” you ask as you save your sad thoughts for another day.

Since you reconnected two years ago, you never really talked about Jungkook and Jimin had always made sure to only bring him up when you asked. Which was never.

Everything is now out in the open though so you think there’s no harm in asking.

“Like I said, you broke him,” he sighs. “He hasn’t really been the same. We were all so worried, that’s why Jin made sure to go with him when he left; it’s why I made sure to visit him twice a year. He just became different, you know? Like a light was put out.”

You let this process for a bit. It had been the same with you, only you had a child to remind you of Jungkook. It had been hard to get over him - you didn’t break up with him because you didn’t love him anymore, anyway; it was the opposite, in fact.

But you had to try to at least move on because at the back of your mind, you knew that things weren’t going to be the same after that. You knew Jungkook would never abandon your son, would never not love him; you are altogether a different story.

“He was doing pretty well though, wasn’t he?” You shift the discussion.

You recall having watched games for the first few years. He’d been signed to the affiliate team of the LA Dodgers and was playing in Oklahoma City. He was an immediate standout and was chosen by the major league team to play in the roster the year after. It was almost meteoric, considering that he was a foreigner and thus, largely unheard of, but he was in tip-top shape, eye-hand coordination impressive, batting skills a dream especially as a rookie, and ran like Flash that it was a nickname the locals used to call him.

“Oh, he was great. Even the man who scouted him didn’t think he would be that great. But that’s expected, I guess, if you spend every waking hour in the gym or in the batting cage, if you follow a strict and intense schedule even during the off-season, and if you have no distractions like friends or girlfriends,” Jimin explains, pointing out all the sacrifices behind the success.

“But Maia—”

“Was probably the first friend he made outside of his team. You’d expect her to be his girlfriend too, right?”

You pause at this. You knew that at some point, Jungkook would move on from you; you did make him believe you didn’t want to be with him anymore, anyway. Yet, it was still a bitter pill to swallow when you found out about his relationship. She was a model-actress, so her presence in the games would often cause a buzz.

“He just changed in a way. There were all these walls up, even from us. You took a very big piece of him, ___. I’m surprised he even got to recover. I was afraid he wasn’t gonna be able to move on from you.”

There’s a pang in your chest at the seeming finality of Jimin’s words. Of course Jungkook would move on from you, of course at one point he’d realize that things would be better without you. You just didn’t think it would hurt like this.

“That’s good for him, then.”

“Have you?”

“Yes, of course,” you say. You hope he doesn’t miss the uncertainty in your voice, that he doesn’t detect the lie.

Jungkook enters the venue and heads straight to the bar where Namjoon is already waiting.

“Scotch, please,” Jungkook calls to the bartender, earning him a remark from the older man about how even his alcoholic preference has upgraded.

“It’s smoother,” Jungkook says, fixing himself on the barstool.

There’s an air of silence between the two men that is almost uncomfortable.

It had never been like this. Namjoon is a protective brother but given that Jin is one of his good friends who’d vouched for the young man, it had been easy for Namjoon to go soft on Jungkook. He saw how much Jungkook cared for you, made you happy, and as your brother, he’ll always be grateful for that.

“How are you?” The older man asks, sipping on his Martini.

“Great. Just found out my ex-girlfriend was pregnant with our son whom I didn’t know existed until a week ago. You?”

“Not great. My parents have been calling me, asking how ___ is and how you are and if things are okay. Don’t exactly know how to break the news that things aren’t actually fine.”

“They must hate me, huh?”

“Nope. You know our parents always stayed out of our relationships. They always liked you, though. But is that what you really wanna know?”

Jungkook exhales, trying to calm himself. He had time to think things through, but facing the emotions had been difficult.

“I just wanna try to understand. I want so badly to justify what she did so I could stop being so angry. I just want to stop feeling… this,” he says, clutching his chest, lips quivering. “It hurts so bad, I just don’t want to feel this anymore.”

Namjoon weakens at the sight of Jungkook like this, desperate to feel something else other than pain, other than anger. He’d heard from Jin how it was so hard for the young man to accept losing you, and then all this? It’s a lot for one person to handle.

“She was so selfish, leaving me like that, thinking I would be okay on my own. And then I finally accepted what happened only to find out that we have a child all this time? Please, please make me understand,” he begs, eyes glassy now.

“Look,” Namjoon says, turning to Jungkook, who, even with his build, has never looked so small.

“I won’t defend her and say that I think she made the right decision. It’s just that she made the best decision she could make at that moment. She knew what was at stake and she felt that choice was the better one,” he explains, similar to what Yoongi had posited.

This is your brother who always had a good read of you and it’s the closest to your thoughts that Jungkook could get.

“She tried to comfort herself everyday by justifying what she did - that you did well, made it to the major league a year later. You did what you set out to do. And I’m sorry to bring this up but when your mother got sick, wasn’t it that you had enough to pay for it all? No debts, no added stress for her? Life was good for you and your mother. It wasn’t the best, but what if you had stayed?” He asks, the question ringing in his head.

How would things be if Jungkook stayed?

“Again, I’m not saying she was right, I’m just saying that things happened the way they did and she made a choice. Any other decision would’ve had other consequences and she made the one she could stand by, that she could live with. I mean, it was all she could do.”

Jungkook thinks about this, how he’d felt comforted, too that he was able to pay for all his mother’s medical bills when it got too much. But life wasn’t good; it was excruciating being away from you, thinking all that time that you really didn’t believe in the both of you, convinced that it wasn’t going to work out.

All he had was the love and joy he got from baseball; it had been enough for him that time. Of course, with what he knows now, it’s different.

Jungkook goes back to what Namjoon asked, about what he really wanted to know.

“Did… did she have a hard time?” Eyes pleading. “Tell me, please.”

Namjoon sighs at this, not knowing how to answer. “It wasn’t easy.”

“Don’t simplify it. I need… I need to know. I need to not feel this. I need to not be angry,” he says, voice strained.

“She won’t want your pity, Jungkook, you know her.”

“Please, Namjoon. You know she’ll never tell me. But I need to know.”

The older man lets out a deep breath, knowing that you indeed wouldn’t tell Jungkook any of this.

“She stayed with my parents in Ilsan after graduation. She was four months along then but was adamant about earning on her own so she took several jobs online. There was a lot of stress but that’s normal, I guess,” Namjoon narrates. “My parents, Taehyung, and our neighbor all took turns staying with her because she’s so stubborn, you know? Wouldn’t tell you if something’s wrong.”

Jungkook knows that all too well, that you really are like that.

“Knowing that, though, my parents had her checked every week. That’s how they determined fetal distress,” Namjoon slows down, tone more somber now. “It was early detection so they were able to perform a c-section right away.”

Jungkook turns to him, fear and worry etched on the younger man’s face. “She… she had surgery?”

“Yeah. It was pretty tough and Jungwon had to be monitored for any disabilities or delays. But yeah, he managed, she managed,” Namjoon recounts. The events are so far away but it’s like the worry and the relief still feel so real.

“The kid’s strong, Jungkook. He has a soft and sweet soul like you but he's definitely a fighter like his mother. Perfect mix, if I should say so myself,” the older man smiles, trying to turn the conversation to a lighter one.

He means it though, how Jungwon personifies the best parts of you and Jungkook.

“But they were okay after?”

“Somewhat. She was required to rest for several weeks so those two bonded like crazy,” Namjoon giggles. “Good thing that Jungwon was a quiet one, barely cried, didn’t give ___ too much of a hard time. It just… took time away from her earning, you know? So once she was capable, she took this job at a marketing firm that was way too hectic but paid well and it just… It was hard.”

“How hard?”

“Hard. Jungkook, she was a single parent. A stubborn and proud one at that. Worked over 12 hours a day, took online jobs during the weekend, took Jungwon to daycare everyday, taught him to do everything, made sure he got to play and all…” Namjoon narrates.

“It’s why my mom visited her every month for those first 2 years, why Ara and I would babysit often, why Taehyung set up a place for Jungwon at his apartment on days when ___ had an event until early morning. She only ever asked help if it was about Jungwon, never if it was about her,” Namjoon sighs, recalling how painful it had been for him as your brother to watch you do it all, never taking a break, never asking for help.

“Stubborn and proud, like you said,” Jungkook states.

“Yeah and well, she made a choice, Jungkook. She made a choice to leave you, to have this child on her own, and she made sure to give him everything while being the best parent she could be, taking on both roles for him and she never complained, not once. She just kept going, you know? Never made Jungwon feel any less or that he was a mistake or that he wasn’t loved enough. She made a decision and she stood by it. I’ll always admire her for that,” Namjoon states, holding his own emotions back.

Jungkook lets this all sink in, suddenly wishing that he was there for you, that you didn’t have to go through all that by yourself, that even with friends and family, he’s hoping you didn’t feel so alone.

He knows how you are, knows you’ll exhaust yourself before you even ask for help. That’s how he knew you truly loved him, when you would tell him you’re tired, or that you need help, whether it was something as simple as fixing your broken light bulb or using his charms to get the administration office to agree on this event proposal you had. Being open to him let him know you trusted him. Until you didn’t.

You never minded asking him, and Jungkook knows that if he’d been around, you wouldn’t have minded him helping you, making it easier for you. And it crushes him that he’d wanted to be everything you needed him to be for you and for your child but you didn’t even give him a chance.

He lets out a deep breath, the anger slowly dissipating and being replaced with longing, with a kind of sadness that he now doesn’t know how to deal with.

Namjoon picks up on this and pats him on the shoulder. “Look, I know that you’re still upset and you have the right to be. Just don’t be blinded by that. You’re home. You have a son that I’m sure you want to get to know. Four years is a lot but it’s also just 4 years. Don’t waste any more time that was already taken away from you.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says softly, knowing that it’s still going to take a lot of getting used to.

“So, what do you wanna do now?”

“Maybe meet up with her? I mean, I was yelling at her the last time we saw each other and I just want to ask to see our son.”

“Of course, Kook. I’m sure she’d want that, too.”

You’re sitting on one of the benches at the park the next day, watching Jungwon play with Namjoon and his wife, Ara, from afar. Even from here, you can make out the doe eyes of your son and his smile that reaches his eyes.

He likes the cold, just like you, and he’s been running about with his toy airplane and submarine, which he almost threw in the fountain. You’re smiling fondly, thinking of how the universe had been kind enough to bless you with the sweetest little angel that it could create.

You feel a figure settle next you, not too far away. Namjoon had told you late last night that Jungkook wanted to meet you, perhaps to ask for a workable schedule to spend time with Jungwon.

“Hey,” he says. You shiver, and you know it’s not because of the weather.

“I never got to tell you but I’m so, so sorry, Jungkook,” you say, turning to him, your eyes taking in the sight of him properly for the first time. “There’s so much I need to apologize for and I know it’s gonna take a long time for you to forgive me.”

You’re unable to rein in your feelings again, but after that first conversation with him and then the one you had with Jimin yesterday, you can’t help the guilt that you’ve been trying to temper bubble to the surface - for hurting him, for not trusting him, for not giving him a choice.

“There’s no point dwelling on what happened. It’s done. I’m here. I have time. And I’d like to spend it with Jungwon as much as possible,” he responds.

He doesn’t look at you; he just keeps his eyes out on the little boy still running about. His little boy, his son. And he can’t wait to finally hold him, get to know him, fall in love with him.

“Of course, but we need to take it slow. He’s a shy kid and it’ll take a while. Let’s follow his pace, okay?”

“Sure. We can grab lunch on Saturday, then?”

You can’t help the hope that bubbles in your chest. “That sounds good, Jungkook.”

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sunmoonandeddie · 3 years

Text

feelings are fatal (23/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 3,018

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence, funeral

masterlist

a/n: this little chapter drop!!!

The funeral was three days later.

You’d taken it upon yourself to stay in the Stark cabin, licking your wounds and mourning the loss of the man you’d spent almost a decade of your life with. You’d mourned losing him before, but this was different.

This was permanent.

There’d be no more chances to go see him in Buffalo. There’d be no more watching him paint in his home studio, seeing the life he built for himself.

You hadn’t seen Bucky since you left the hospital.

You had walked out of Steve’s room, tears rolling down your cheeks. It felt like a death march as you had to face his family, had to face Peggy, the daughter that was named after you. “He’s gone,” you’d said, hands trembling. “I…”

“Oh, honey,” Peggy had whispered, moving to hug you as her own pain welled up in her eyes.

“I have to go,” you had insisted as you quickly slipped out of her grasp, speeding down the hall. You’d left the members of your little family in the waiting room, knowing that they’d gotten to talk to him before he’d passed but still feeling so guilty because you were the last one he’d seen. The last one he’d talked to.

You hadn’t even stopped when Bucky and Wanda had called out your name. You had the car keys in your hand, since he’d given them to you at some point in the blur of the day.

You’d left him there.

The pain was unbearable.

You’d spent the past three days at the bottom of a bottle, blasting all the playlists that Tony had saved. At some point, it had switched to a playlist full of old jazz music from the forties.

You’d thrown the bottle against the wall and watched it shatter.

Sweeping it up while absolutely plastered had been… an adventure. You had the bandages on your feet to prove it.

But you’d gotten it all swept up and into the trash before moving onto the next bottle.

You’d turned off your phone after the fourth phone call and the eighteenth text.

But Bucky didn’t show up. He didn’t come banging on your door like you hoped he would, swooping in and kissing you like the prince in a fairytale.

It was monumentally disappointing.

When you arrived at the funeral, you’d thrown the car into park and then sat in the lot outside for at least forty-five minutes. You’d shown up early entirely because you knew that you’d need time to gather the courage to go inside.

You’d had to order a black dress and heels with express shipping, since you hadn’t exactly thought to pack them when you and Bucky had gone on your little vacation and you didn’t really feel like going out to go shopping.

Your mistake.

It had taken a lot of effort to actually shower and do your hair and makeup. Your ankles felt like they’d give out any moment as you slammed the car door shut and headed inside.

“Hello.”

You almost tripped over your own feet as you heard a feminine voice call out to you. “H-Hi,” you said as you finally came face to face with the woman who had your name. “I’m—”

“I know,” she said, before getting a weak laugh. “Me, too. I’ve heard so much about you. My dad… uh… He really, really loved you.”

“Thank you,” you said, voice a little stiff. You hadn’t done much talking the past few days, unless screaming out lyrics counted.

Yeah, it counted.

Sorta.

“Um… H-How is Peggy—I mean, your mom—doing?”

“She’s handling it about as can be expected,” she said with a smile as she glanced to where the Brit in question was. It was strange, seeing the woman that was named after you. She was older than you by a few years, and had a few gray hairs. But she looked so much like the perfect mix of Steve and Peggy… “But dad was getting up there… more so than any other man. They both knew it was coming. I just don’t know if mom will be able to hold on without him much longer.”

Great. Because that’s exactly what you wanted to hear.

“Here, let me introduce my siblings!” She said, calling them over before you could say no.

By the time the actual service started, you’d met far more Rogerses than you had ever wanted to.

It was exhausting. They were all so… kind. Despite everything, despite the fact that you were literally their father’s ex girlfriend, despite the fact that you were the last person their father spoke to before he died, and not his wife.

“My husband, Steve, has always been what his best friend called him. A punk,” Peggy said as she stood up before everyone, letting out a weak laugh as she glanced back at the open casket. “But he was so many things. Brave. Outspoken. Generous. Stubborn…”

Your eyes stayed on her, even though you stopped hearing what she was saying. You didn’t have the energy to listen to a eulogy.

That is, until she said your name.

“Huh?” You said, suddenly on high alert. Some part of you was aware that your team was sitting in the front row, including Bucky. You’d been too busy speaking with Steve’s children to talk to them, not that you minded that. You weren’t sure if you were ready to face them.

“Would you please come up and say a few words?” Peggy asked gently, getting down and holding out her hand to you.

“I…” Fuck. You couldn’t say no. It was a god damn funeral. “Okay,” you said after a long moment, placing your hand in Peggy’s and letting her lead you up to the podium. The sea of people staring at you made your blood run cold, your hands trembling as you gripped the wood. “Um… H-Hi…” You introduced yourself, you voice cracking. “I’ve known Steve… since I was eighteen years old. And we were together for almost a decade.” You snorted, shaking your head as you glanced back at the casket, your heart stopping for a moment when your eyes rested on his face. “I know… most of you are probably wondering why the hell I’m up here. Why the hell anyone would want their husband’s ex girlfriend speaking at their funeral, but uh… Steve helped make me the person I am today.” Your heart was hammering inside of your chest, threatening to break your ribs. “He taught me when to push myself, how to trust my instincts.” Also all things that Bucky taught you. You could feel his seafoam blue gaze on you, pinning you in place. “I know it’s cheesy… But he taught me what it means to do the right thing, even when it means standing up to someone you love and telling them so. He taught me how to keep going even when my world was crumbling.” Your heart was shattering as your eyes met Bucky’s. “He taught me to chase after what I want the most in the world, and to accept nothing but the best.” Tears were starting to roll down your cheeks. “Steve was a bright light in the world, even when he was in his darkest moments.” You gave a watery smile, your hands clammy. “Steve was not the shield, and those of us who knew him personally know that. The shield was Steve. He made it into the symbol that it is. A symbol of what every person can be, what they should be. What we should all aspire to be.” Your throat was starting to close up. “But he was showing us that even before the serum, wasn’t he? Because it doesn’t matter how small you are, or where you come from. You can make the choice everyday to make the world a little better.” Sniffling, you swallowed around the lump in his throat. “And I know I’m rambling, but I really didn’t expect to be speaking here today, so please forgive me, but I just… I never thought he’d die like this. There were hundreds of missions where I thought… this is it. This is where I lose him. I always knew he’d fight until he couldn’t anymore. The fact that he got the honor of passing like he did… what feels like a million years old and surrounded by his loved ones in a hospital… just like any other man… I can’t think of a better happy ending for him.” You took a deep breath. “But there’s someone who should be up here more than me. Someone who knew him from the beginning. From playground to battlefield and beyond, right?”

Bucky’s entire body was trembling as he slowly got to his feet and walked up to the podium. But before you could leave, his hand slipped into yours and squeezed, a silent question being asked.

Stay?

And how could he ever think you’d leave him?

You squeezed his hand back, staying by his side as he slowly started to speak. He spoke about the first time they met, all the fights he broke up.

Until the end of the line.

You guessed it really was the end. The grand finale of a life that wasn’t always easy, but was always worth it.

Watching Steve’s casket being lowered into the ground felt like a hallucination. How could it possibly be real?

The feeling that you’d gotten in the hospital was washing back over you like a tsunami. The overwhelming feeling of despair, of disbelief.

Of anger.

You wanted more time. There wasn’t ever enough time and now he was gone.

You slipped away after the funeral ended, getting into your car and just… driving. You knew you’d eventually make it back to the cabin, but you needed to roll the windows down and just feel the icy cold wind in your hair, on your skin.

Making you feel alive.

When you got back to the cabin, the sun had set, stars twinkling overhead in a brilliance you’d never see in the city.

You held your heels in your hand as you stumbled into the house, tossing them to the side as you headed for the kitchen. “FRIDAY, put on some music,” you said quietly.

“What playlist would you like?”

“Read the room, Fri,” you said simply, sighing as you grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen. She started to play music throughout the house, and you bit your lip as she started to play a blend of your favorites. Mostly Black Pumas and The Teskey Brothers. “Fri, can you turn on the fireplace?”

Warm light filled the living room and kitchen, flickering softly.

You didn’t bother changing as you collapsed onto the fur rug with just your wine and your bottle opener. “Dumb… cork…,” you huffed as you worked to get it open.

You were about halfway through the bottle when you heard a car pull up, followed by the slam of the door. Your mind was fuzzy as you watched the front door open and Bucky walk in. “Hi.”

He stopped in the entryway, still wearing the all black suit he’d donned at the funeral. “Hey,” he breathed out. He couldn’t help but snort as he saw the bottle of wine in your hands. “Yeah… It has been that kind of day, huh?”

When you held it out to him, you couldn’t tear your eyes away as you watched his pink lips wrap around the bottle and he took a swig.

Fuck, you had it so bad.

“How are you feeling?” You asked as you watched him stand by the end of the sofa. “It’s been… a rough day.”

“I’ve been better,” he said simply as he took another drink. “But I know I’ll feel better once you and I are speaking again.”

Your heart squeezed inside your chest as your eyes met, your cheeks flushing. “Right… I… I think we were both… frazzled… But I’m so sorry.”

Pain and Misery by The Teskey Brothers started to play over the stereo, filling the house with soothing R&B. It was one of your favorite songs in the whole entire world.

“I've been in love, honey, you know it's true… Was since that day I first laid my eyes on you…”

“Malen’kaya,” he said as he set the bottle on the coffee table, holding out his hand to you. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Could you forgive me for how I acted?”

“Love is a crazy game, baby… It's how I feel… It makes you oh, so high, but it takes so long to heal…”

You nodded after a long moment, slipping your hand into his and squeezing as he tugged you to your feet. “I can. I do,” you said, the wine making your head fill with bubbles.

“So, please, yeah, yeah… Won't you stay with me? 'Cause since you gone, it's all pain and misery. Honey, please, yeah, yeah… Won't you stay with me? 'Cause since you gone it's pain and misery…”

Something inside of you clicked back into place as he pulled you close to his chest, the two of you immediately starting to sway. Falling back into step with him was as easy as breathing, you were finding.

Perhaps even easier.

“Sometimes I curse that day of when you came along… I was happy but it's been pain now for so very long… Oh, I'm begging you, honey… Please, won't you stay? 'Cause I been so lonely since you gone away…”

“I don’t like not talking to you,” he said quietly, his lips pressing to your forehead. “Feels so wrong… Like I can’t breathe.”

Funny how you’d just had almost the same thought.

“Everyday is pain… In the end, it's hard to see… Every fateful day is oh, so sad, now that I've lost the best friend that I ever had…”

He was so warm, so comforting. Like a teddy bear.

“I don’t like not talking to you either,” you admitted as you nuzzled closer to him, breathing in the musky scent of his cologne. It was intoxicating. “Can we please never do it again?”

“Honey, please, won't you stay with me? 'Cause since you gone it's all pain and misery…”

He grinned against your forehead, his hand moving from your hip as he slid his arm around your waist to pull you even closer. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Honey, please, whoa please, won't you stay with me? 'Cause since you gone it's pain and misery…”

“Jamie…,” you whispered, your voice cracking as you tried to gather the words you wanted to say.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” He asked, resting his head against yours.

“Hey, I'm begging you, honey… Whoa… I want you to love me… Yeah, I want you to love me… I need you so bad…”

“What does this mean?” You asked as the song ended and it shifted to another. “For us, I mean?” You were starting to panic, anxiety welling up in your chest and causing you to word vomit. “Because I can’t do this back and forth, I can’t. I won’t. I won’t survive it. I can’t keep pretending like we’re just friends and that the way you make me feel doesn’t make me… doesn’t make me…”

“Doesn’t make you what?” He asked quietly, not letting you move away from his secure embrace. “Please… Because I can’t keep acting as though you’re not my everything.” He held the back of your head, his fingers gently massaging your scalp. “Please… Please, tell me you love me. Because I…” He rested his forehead against yours, a tear rolling down his cheek. “The love I have for you has rewritten every piece of DNA in my body,” he said. “It’s in my blood, my bones… You are written in my heart, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. And…” He swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “And if you don’t love me the way I love you, that’s just fine. As long as I have you in my life… I’ll be whatever you need.”

“Jamie…,” you said with a weak laugh. You were openly crying, though you weren’t sure when you had started. “Oh, Jamie… Do you really think I could ever not love you?” Your nose nudged against his as you wrapped both of your arms around his neck. “If you don’t kiss me, we’re gonna have a fight.”

The smile that split open his face was blinding. The kiss he planted upon your lips was absolutely filthy. A mess of teeth and tongue and grins and giggles, a tangle of feelings pent up for so long that you were sure you’d never get them all out. You’d spend the rest of your life unraveling all the ways he made you feel, and you’d do it with a smile.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much,” you said as you pressed yourself against him. “I never wanna be without you ever again.”

“You never have to,” he breathed out as he nipped at your lower lip. Without further ado, he reached down and slipped his arm under your thighs. You let out a squeak as he scooped you up, carrying you bridal style up the stairs. “I’m gonna love you so good,” he said with a growl.

You almost hit your head on the door frame as he carried you into the guest bedroom you two were occupying, squealing as he tossed you onto the bed. “Jamie!”

“Yes, malen’kaya?” He asked as he shoved off his suit jacket, toeing off his dress shoes at the same time.

“Nothing,” you said, giggling as you started to strip down, too. “Nothing at all.”

When you two finally finished hours later, the wine had worn off, and he was asleep. You’d curled up on top of his chest, his cool vibranium hand resting on the small of your back, helping you cool off.

“Jamie?” You murmured, testing if he was asleep. When he grunted, you smiled, intertwining your fingers with his flesh hand. “I love you…”

“I love you more, baby.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n

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eirikaanemo · 3 years

Text

Summoning the Wind: The Finale

Part One: The Meeting, Part Two: Together

Venti x GN!Reader

1.8k Words

Warnings: Kissing at the end, tournament fighting, Demon Summoning™

Despite the surprising, sudden revelation and reveal, Venti and you continue working towards your goal. Demon tournaments are not things to be taken lightly. They are difficult and it takes a lot of preparation to be ready. And while there is no permanent harm done to the demon, if you’re not careful it can hurt you.

Strengthening your bond, sparring endlessly against whatever demons your teachers and classmates summon, and running through strategy after strategy are just a few of the things the two of you do to prepare. You practice dual battles, and strike up some contracts with some other demons as well. Soon all of you are working together as a team, efficient and effective. If you’re doing this, you’re going all in.

Your first fight is terrifying, especially with you being unable to use Venti as a failsafe. He was strictly around for emotional support, hidden under your hat. The two of you had agreed that he would only be fighting in the higher tournaments. It just wouldn’t be fair for you to use him to blast your way through the competition. Everyone deserves a fair fight. And you weren’t holding back, per say, just only using the amount of force that was needed.

Appraising opponents becomes second nature and you develop the ability to calculate the right amount of force to use fairly easily. But you always err on the side of extra force. You are in this to win it, after all. So despite your fear and nervousness, your first tournament goes very well and you are the undisputed winner.

You continue your rise to the top, taking things one tournament at a time. School wide, area wide, national, and area international tournaments all come and go with you winning all of them. The fights became easy, instinctive almost, but you continued training. Resting on your laurels leads to losing after all, and that’s not what you’re here to do.

Suddenly the time comes. It’s time for the ultimate demon tournament to take place. This is what you’ve been working towards all this time. And your contracted demons are just as excited as you are, Venti most of all.

Venti hasn’t gotten many opportunities to fight himself, though he has helped in one or two in his human form recently. So far, you and those at your school are the only ones that know of his true identity. Your school administration had effectively put a gag order on the information to protect your privacy, and you are very grateful for it. But the time is coming for you to reveal yourselves to the world, here at the World Ultimate Demon Cup tournament.

The fights are hard, even the beginning ones. From the very beginning you are given a run for your money. If you hadn’t spent so long training and preparing for this day you would not have survived past the first match. You were forced to use so much mana that it would have knocked you out if you hadn’t steadily increased your reserves as time went on.

But in the end, you won the match. Then the next one. Then the next. And suddenly you are at the semi-finals. It’s just you, two tier two demons, and Venti left to finish it. Thankfully, your tier two demons and Venti’s human form were enough to get you to the final match. This is it. This is your moment.

Your opponent laughs as you step your way onto the field. “Haha, really,” they crow. “You made it this far with your two-bit tier two demons? I’m surprised! You must certainly be something. But do not doubt, I will crush you under the heel of my foot!” You roll your eyes at their arrogance.

“We’ll see about that,” you reply. He snorts and both of you summon your demon partners onto the field. His is obviously a tier one demon. It is a geo-type sphinx, three times your height and probably weighing more than you could possibly imagine. In comparison, Venti in his little sprite form is completely dwarfed.

“Is that a wind sprite?” Your opponent asks, anger creeping into their voice and onto their face. “Are you kidding me? You think you can take out my summoning partner with a wind sprite! Rude! Brikelda, get rid of it and force them to summon a real opponent.” You smirk as Venti agily dodges the sphinx’s every attempt.

It takes a while, but the sphinx, Brikelda, eventually lands a hit. A hit that almost hit Venti out of bounds. But just before he crosses the line he changes into his Archon form in a flash. Using his wings he easily changes his trajectory to keep himself within bounds. The audience gasps as the announcers proclaim their awe. “And here, folks, you have the honor of seeing an Archon in action!” “It’s sure something, isn’t it, Dave?” “It sure is, Jose! It looks like this will be a lot more interesting than it first seemed!”

Your opponent lets loose with a wild cackle. “This will be more interesting than I thought! But don’t underestimate us! We’ve worked too hard to lose here!” Even with Venti’s archon form, Brikelda the sphinx gave you a hard battle. She fought until the bitter end. But, in the end, Venti is an Archon for a reason. And his strong partnership with you has made him even stronger. He’s in top form and it shows.

The battle is long, but with one last Wind’s Grande Ode, Venti successfully launches her out of bounds. Bouncing off the magical shield guarding the audience, she crumples to the ground and unsummons herself. After a moment of silence, the crowd bursts into cheers and applause. You startle at first at the loud noise, but smile and wave in victory.

Venti soars down from the sky to high five you. Hearing footsteps, you turn around to see your opponent. They are sombre and calmer than you’ve ever seen them. Extending their hand, they hold it toward you. “Good fight,” they say. “You are an opponent worth losing to. I’m glad that it was you. I wish you luck for the future.” You reach out, take their hand, and shake it.

“Thank you for such a great fight,” you thank them in return. “You really made me earn my win. You and Brikelda are a great team.” With a final smile the three of you leave the stage, them one way and Venti and you the other. Thankfully your prep room isn’t too far away, you don’t think you can keep holding your peace for long.

As soon as the door to your prep room is closed you let out something between a cheer and a shriek of victory. “We did it!” You proclaim at Venti. “I can’t believe we did it!” You run over to him and pull him into a tight hug. “Thank you, Venti,” you whisper. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

You feel him smile with amusement, excitement, fondness, and… something else you can’t quite place, as he pulls you closer. He’s been feeling that emotion more and more recently, but you’re not sure what it is. The few times he’s let it bleed over the bond it’s been a warm, soft feeling in your heart. If you had to put a name to it, objectively, you would call it love.

But that couldn’t be it. He’s a demon, an Archon even, and you’re just a human. It isn’t possible that he could love you like that. Yet the thought never really left your mind. And your own feelings that you’ve been careful to keep to yourself all this time, refused to let it go. Because oh how much you love his laugh. You love his songs. You love his eyes. You love him, despite all his flaws.

So you can’t help but relish in the moment. He’s larger in this form, tall enough that your head rests over his heart and his arms wrap around you comfortingly, strong and firm in their grip. His heart is beating quickly, and picks up even more after he presses a quick kiss to the top of your head. Your own heartbeat picks up, and seems to beat in time with his.

You can feel your face and ears go warm as you let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a squeak. He loosens his arms to let you pull away some to look at him. His soft gaze rests on you as he takes in the sight of you in his arms. The earlier fights had drained your mana enough that it showed in your disheveled appearance, but you still looked just as wonderful to him as ever.

“I have something I need to tell you,” he admits. “I’ve tried to keep it to myself, but it’s slipped through our bond a couple of times so you probably know what I’m talking about. I’m going to say it anyway, just to get it out in the open. Over all this time we’ve come to know each other, I’ve become very fond of you. And not just as a friend.

“It started out as just a close friendship but my feelings for you never stayed there. They grew every time I saw you working to improve yourself, to 'become more worthy of having him as a summoning partner' as you would say when you thought I couldn’t hear. They grew every time you didn’t treat me and the others as any less than you or other humans. And now they’ve grown too much for me to stay silent about them.

“I love you, romantically, not platonically. You’ve come to mean the world to me. I’ve never felt so close to anyone before and have never felt more understood than when I’ve been around you. And I-” He pauses for a moment to swallow. “Can I kiss you?”

The question is quiet, vulnerable almost. His hand comes to cup your face, thumb tracing your lower lip as he looks into your eyes pleadingly. Your heart melts, and you smile. “Yes, please,” You practically beg as you reach up to cup his cheeks too, guiding them down towards yours.

Your first kiss is soft and slow as the two of you get comfortable kissing each other. The next is a little firmer, and the next even more so. You find yourself pinned against the wall with him having pulled away for a moment to let you catch your breath. He’s about to lean in for another kiss when you’re interrupted by a knock on the door.

“We need you at the podium in two minutes,” the person on the other side tells you before hurrying off to other places. The two of you stare at each other for a moment before bursting into action. He helps you freshen up and the two of you race to the award ceremony. As the two of you run he winks and adds one more comment to make you blush. “I guess we’ll just have to finish later~”

#eirika writes #venti #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin impact x reader #demon summoning au

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trenchcoatdevilsworld · 3 years

Text

Broken Doll || Bucky x Reader (5/?)

Title: Broken Doll

Summary: “What did they do to her?” Hydra did so many, fucked up things to her. They did things to her nobody could imagine. And whenever she got used to it, the pain, the feelings, the mental abuse, they found something new to try out. If it was funny, they did it a little longer; if it wasn’t, they changed an changed and changed the ways to hurt her.

Warnings:

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Wordcount: 1076 words

A/N: God I am so sorry for being so terribly inactive... I also reached 201 Followers! And I don’t think I deserved them considering my inactivity... I still hope you guys are still interested and like the new chapter!

"Okay, so here's the tea", Tony said, using this weird phrase he heard Peter use painfully often in the last weeks. "Barnes literally broke every bone in that girls body." the billionaire stated to the team what Dr. Banner just told him. (Y/N) and Bruce were still down in the medical station of the tower, getting a lot of help from Hellen Chow. The team couldn't answer, nobody knew what they could say. Neither could Bucky. He knew he hurt her, it just shocked him how bad he hurt her. Still, the feeling of her felt familiar to him. He couldn't remember. Also those mark-shaking screams seemed familiar as well. He must've heard them before. He felt like it was not the first time he hurt her. "Can I go see her?" Bucky then asked hesitantly, quiet but still audible. "I don't think you should" Tony answered, "Also she's still not awake yet"

…

"Helen please give me the current reports", Banner demanded in a soft, yet stern voice. He was a doctor, after all, and he was concerned about (Y/N). The incident with Bucky was three days ago and the girl had not opened her eyes since. Hellen didn't really take a step out of the medical wing for these three days. "Of course, Dr. Banner. She's mostly stable but we still don't know when she'll wake up aga-" Hellen began to give Bruce (Y/N)'s medical report, when the girl let out a hurtful moan while shifting on her hospital-like bed. (Y/N) sat up slowly, doing her best not to hurt herself. Thanks to Tony, the pillow and blanket she had were the same material as in her own room, so no burns or cuts or wounds from rubbing along the blanket surface. "Ms. (Y/N) my name is Hellen Chow and I am the towers nurse. Please stay still for a little longer." Hellen said in a soft, patient voice. (Y/N) usually would've flipped at the sight of a nurse, doctor or any kind of scientist but Hellen gave her a calm feeling. "Yes, mrs. Chow" she said and laid back down. "Oh, no no. No husband" the dark haired woman chuckled "but I feel honored" (Y/N) slightly smiled at her. "(Y/N) I'm sorry to be pushy, but do you still know what happenned three days ago?" Bruce asked carefully. The girl slightly jumped. "Three days ago?!" she repeated "I was out for three days?" Banner just nodded.

…

"Okay, but we have to get your nightmares under controll, Buck.." Steve sat in front of the Brunette on Buckys bed. The former soldier looked at his feet and nodded. "We cannot risk for this to happen again, so we either get you soothed or we have to lock your door at night" Steve tried to pull a little joke here, after all James was his best friend, he couldn't stand him looking so down. And it worked, Bucky smirked and looked up at the blonde man. "Steve I think I know her… I mean we know she's from a Hydra laboratory, but I feel like I've seen her before… I felt her before-" "Okay Buck, too much information." "Not like that, punk" Bucky nudged his best friend's shoulder. Steve just chuckled. "No, I think I touched her before, that skin felt somehow familiar to me. The Soldier must have touched or hurt her before…" Steve looked at his best friend since childhood and he could see how troubled Buckys brain was. He hurt her, he didn't intend to, but he did. And he really felt bad about it. "Okay Buck, come on, we go and check up on her.", the blonde sighed and agreed to Buckys plea from three days ago

"Okay, (Y/N), listen, I have a question for you" Banner started to go over some medical papers of the girl "which bone or bones broke the most times in your body?" "Uhm… I think my knees? And… I think my fingers and feet.. You know, the parts you use the most, I guess. Why?" "Because somehow these exact bones seem to be the ones with the strongest structure in your body… I mean all of them are still very fragile, exactly like glass, but these specific ones are a little stronger, kind off-" Bruce got interrupted in his explanation and thought process by the two super soldiers of the team storming into the room. "(Y/N)!" The girl jumped because of the sudden noice, causing one of her vertebras in her spine to break. (Y/N) hissed and held her back, but smiled and waved hello with her spare hand at the two men, who looked at her in an appologizing matter. "Hey, how are you?" Bucky asked temperately. (Y/N) just smiled softly. "Oh you know, apart from every single one of my 206 bones being broken I'm actually pretty good" she attempted a small joke and make the brunette smirk weakly. "So, Bruce, what do the reports say?" Steve, who remained in the door, asked and came closer, giving (Y/N) a reasuring yet worried smile. "Well, we prepared her bones with a medical serum that makes her heal quicker, no chemicals though!" Banner reasured (Y/N) as she made a panicked face when he mentioned the serum. "It's based on plants and nature, basically, so no chemicals, just nature." which calmed her. "I also would like to do some research on something… It's just a theory until I know more, but i think i might have a clue as to what is going on in (Y/N)s body…" Bruce told the other four people who were in the room with him. And as expected everyone, including the person that was spoken about herself. "Aaaand?" Hellen began asking. "Will you… fill us in?" Bucky asked as well. "give us the information too..?" the girl in the hospital bed took her turn. "Spill the tea?" Everybody looked at Steve deadpaned. "…what?" " 'spill the tea'?" "Yes Bucky." The brunette snorted. "You spend too much time with Peter"

"… Exactly.. What I was saying was, that I think (Y/N)s bones might actually, kind of, heal. As in the bones she used, and therefore broke, the most, are the 'strongest'..ish ones in her body. Like, all of them are still fragile and break like dry spaghetti. BUT instead of a single spaghetti, these specific bones are more like four or five spaghettis together, you know? They are stronger than her others."

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Broken Doll-Tag list: @uwu-sebastianstan @plvbs @allicesun @mariana-cb @emma-worthington @bee-wrecker @pdfjaijai @musicgal12345 @not-zari-tak @smallnjh @chloe-skywalker @ilomilo-posts @miramunkschmidt

Status: open

permanent Tag list: @loki7m @parisss-lilli @t-a-l-i-n-a-l-a-n-i @amarokofficial @supermarvelbrivalentine5sos @courtneychicken

Status: open

I Am afraid I might have forgotten someone... If you see this and it is indeed the case that i forgot you, please tell me!

#Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #marvel #steve rogers #hulk #bruce banner #broken doll #x reader #marvel x reader #winter soldier #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #the avengers #avengers

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likethecities · 3 years

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In “Defense” of Bo-Katan in Mandalorian S2

(or, why Bo’s refusal to accept Boba as Mandalorian in 2x08, after Din did accept it in 2x06, is internally consistent with her character and view of Mandalore, and is not only because she’s a self-serving ass*)

*(although she is both of those things)

NOTE: This is a discussion of why her view of Boba is logical for her character and where I hope/think it will go in S3 and the concept of “Mandalorian”. It is NOT an endorsement for her behavior.

This is ONLY based in current, Disney canon, not Legends. In Legends, Jango was the leader of Mandalore for several years if not decades. However! that line conflicts with TCW. So we’re using the old rule of “if it conflicts, current canon wins” and tossing it out. If it gets recanonized, we can come back to it.

Okay first! Let’s break down the major Mandalorian characters/factions in the Mandalorian.

Din Djarin/Children of the Watch

Bo-Katan Kryze/Nite Owls

Boba and Jango Fett

What do they have in common? All three groups place a lot of practical and symbolic/ancestral value on their beskar armor. Bo and Din also place a lot of importance on the value of the Way, although with different interpretations. Lastly, Bo specifically cares about Mandalore as a place. Unsurprisingly, they all have different interpretations of what it means to be Mandalorian.

Let’s start with Din and the Children of the Watch (CotW). Here’s what we know about their definition of Mandalorian:

high cultural and symbolic value on Mandalorian armor

foundlings/non-Mandalorian children can be raised Mandalorian

very strict interpretation of the Way/Creed

non-Mandalorians cannot wear Mandalorian armor

As a final note, they don’t appear to have much actual beskar. Most of their armor, though forged in Mandalorian style, isn’t made of beskar, but other metals instead. It’s a big deal when Din rolls up with enough beskar to forge a whole suit; that kind of windfall doesn’t just happen.

So when S2 rolls around and Din runs into people wearing Mandalorian armor who don’t follow the Way as he knows it, he assumes they aren’t Mandalorian, with the following results:

Cobb (2x01): admits to not being Mandalorian when Din challenges him, offers to return armor to Din (standing in as a representative of all Mandalorians) once Din helps him. Din agrees, helps, and then leaves with the armor.

Bo-Katan/Nite Owls (2x03): claim a different interpretation of the Way, declare ownership over their armor through family heritage. Din recognizes their claim.

Boba (2x06): identifies himself as the rightful owner of the armor, refuses to claim clan ties or the Creed. Din (eventually) recognizes his claim.

Once Din has accepted that other Mandalorians don’t have the same interpretation of the Way that he does, he’s willing to accept proof of ownership as enough. Likely, this is because the CotW don’t have much beskar, and so they recognize prior claims much more strictly. For Din, at least, owning the beskar is enough to drop the argument about being Mandalorian or not. Now let’s move to Bo and her supporters. Here’s what we know about them:

high cultural and symbolic value on Mandalorian armor: status symbol, but not required by all members

looser interpretation of the Way

high value on clan/community membership, or connection to Mandalore as a planet

non-Mandalorians cannot (or at least shouldn’t) wear Mandalorian armor

We know from SW Rebels and TCW that Bo, her followers, and most of the Mandalore-based people that you do not have to wear armor to be Mandalorian. Sabine’s father is an artist and is never seen fighting or wearing armor, but no one questions that he’s Mandalorian. The armor and Creed alone aren’t a requirement.

How else do we know this? Because Bo spent several seasons backing Pre Viszla and the darksaber for the Mandalorian throne, but when Viszla lost the darksaber - and his head - to Maul, Bo objected. Maul wasn’t Mandalorian; he didn’t care about the place, the community, the culture, or the Way. So Bo turned to Satine, the leader that she had just deposed, as a more “Mandalorian” challenger. Satine still has her House Kryze ties and close attachment to Mandalore as a place; that was enough to make her Mandalorian and a better choice than Maul, even though she’d nearly completely broken with old Mandalorian ways.

(And, we should note, that some Mandalorians did switch their allegiance to Maul after this, because they recognized the right of the darksaber over any community or clan ties. They’re also still Mandalorian.)

So when Bo and her team meet Din, they recognize Din as Mandalorian. He’s part of a Mandalorian offshoot sect: that’s his clan/community. They think his rules are weird and antiquated*, but they recognize them as related to the Way as they know it.

*yes, Bo is a jerk about this, because Bo is a jerk about a lot of things. She does accept it, though, which is the important part for this discussion.

Okay, now let’s turn to Boba.

Boba never explicitly claims to be Mandalorian, with Din in 2x06 or in the bar 2x08. He says that Jango was a Mandalorian foundling, but despite Din giving him multiple opportunities to claim to be Mandalorian, Boba rebuffs every single one. He doesn’t have any clan or community ties, and he doesn’t care about the planet; he’s actively derisive about Bo’s goal to retake it. He doesn’t appear to follow any parts of the Way. Frankly, Boba doesn’t seem to even want to be Mandalorian, he just puts up with being associated with them because of the armor. He certainly doesn’t care who considers themselves Mandalorian or why. The only things that Boba cares about are that a) his ownership of his armor is acknowledged, and b) he’s recognized as Jango Fett’s son. That’s it.

Again, for Din, that’s enough. Boba can prove that the armor is his and he can prove that Jango obtained it properly (ie, as a Mandalorian foundling). Conflict solved, everyone move on.

For Bo and her followers, that’s not enough. The armor isn’t the sole thing that marks you as Mandalorian, and Boba (and Jango after becoming a bounty hunter, apparently for much of his adult life) has none of the clan/community ties that are part of her definition and no attachment to the planet or culture of Mandalore. Ergo, he’s not Mandalorian, and rightfully-obtained armor or not, him wearing it is against their culture. And yes, Bo is being racist (something -ist, at least) when she calls Jango his “donor”, but she also has a point. There are millions of Jango Fett clones in the galaxy, and none of them were raised in Mandalorian culture or have any connection to Mandalore except DNA. Rewatching the bar scene, she doesn’t seem to have any idea who Boba is until she recognizes his voice and identifies him as a clone. Why should he or any clone deserve to wear Mandalorian armor, especially when they don’t participate in Mandalorian culture?

(the answer, obviously, is because Jango raised Boba as his son and heir and chose to pass down his armor/ship accordingly. But Bo has no reason to know this and she wouldn’t consider him Mandalorian either way, so there’s no point in Boba proving his ownership even if he cared enough about her opinion to bother.)

This also ties into the problem of the darksaber. Gideon isn’t Mandalorian, and it seems likely he obtained the sword when the Imperial Remant “glassed” the planet, so he’s not recognized as ruler of Mandalore even when he holds the darksaber. Din

Mandalorian, and he won it in combat. That’s an undeniable claim. He’s also worked with Bo multiple times, it’s not his fault that Gideon outplayed both of them, and he’s very, very good in a fight. Bo really wants that weapon to shore up her claim, but she also knows it’s not very honorable to attack an ally who didn’t ask for this, and she probably doesn’t want to risk the possibility that she might lose. She’s in a bind.

Similarly, Din really doesn’t want the darksaber or the responsibilities that go with it, but he can’t just hand it over because that’s against the Creed. Sabine did, but she never “won” the darksaber; she just picked it up out of Maul’s garbage cave, which was vague enough for everyone to accept her passing it up. (She was also probably 17 or 18 at the time and was considered a traitor by most Mandalorians, which probably helped). But Din is also very honorable; if he can’t find a way to pass the saber off, he’ll probably feel obligated to fulfill the requirements to the best of his abilities until he either does find someone else to take them or accepts them permanently (kinda like Grogu himself HMMMMMM). We already know that Din is fairly good at diplomacy from 2x01, but he’s never worked with Mandalorians outside of his clan before, so he’s got a steep learning curve.

So my guess: S3 is going to be about reuniting the disparate Mandalorian groups, all of whom have different versions of what it means to be Mandalorian, and finding some common ground. They will either attempt to retake Mandalore or find somewhere else to make a homeland, or possibly make the decision to stay dispersed. If Bo stays as a major character, we might see her trying to recruit Din into her clan to influence him; if not, she might slink off and wait to see how he does.

Something that could be cool? Din putting a lot of effort into trying to connect with other Mandalorians and Bo admitting that he’s actually doing a pretty good job, even if she wanted to do it herself! #growth for both of them. Meanwhile Boba, who again appears to not give two shits about any of this, will probably be chilling on Tatooine, maybe throwing some info or weapons Din’s way if he thinks Din actually has a shot at something. Or ignoring all of them and taking over the Hutt empire instead, who knows.

Either way, I hope we get more discussion of what happened to Mandalore, Mandalorian identity, and Mandalorian politics in S3.

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #din djarin #bo katan kryze #boba fett #jango fett #children of the watch #nite owls #mandalore #mandalorians #meta #darksaber #star wars

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kitkatt0430 · 3 years

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the flash and the problem of the pointless sacrifice

It starts at the end of season one. Eddie Thawne picks up his gun and shoots himself, dying to protect Iris, Barry, and the rest from his dangerous descendent Eobard Thawne.

Season two ends with its reversal, Barry creating the Flashpoint Timeline that, though its eventually set back to 'normal-ish', leaves a time remnant of Eobard Thawne alive and well (if running scared from the Black Flash/Hunter Zolomon as a speed zombie) to wreak havoc once more.

And I get it. The Reverse Flash is one of the Flash's most iconic villains - killing him off in season one couldn't be permanent. But apparently Eddie's suicide could be and the message that sends is... unfortunate.

Eddie is an extremely kindhearted person and we see that about him again and again throughout season one. He always has a smile for the people he cares about and he's an absolutely terrible liar. But we also know that he was bullied as a child/teen and since he never brings up the subject of his own family, it's likely he doesn't have a support structure outside of Central City. And the support structure he does gain in Central City was Barry's support structure first. There's not a single person we see Eddie spend time with in season one that didn't know Barry first.

And that's a big part of what wears him down over the course of the season. When both Barry and Eddie need support, Barry gets it first. Barry's secrets are treated as something Eddie has to prioritize over his relationship with Iris. Barry's loved Iris longer than Eddie's known her and while Iris loves Eddie, she also loves Barry and she's infatuated with the Flash - not realizing he's Barry's alter ego. Over the course of the season, Eddie constantly tries to connect with Barry and Barry constantly holds back. Their relationship is never equal. And that's what leaves Eddie open to Eobard's manipulations with the future news article.

And Eddie tries to make his own future with Iris anyway. But even with Iris accepting his proposal, Joe makes it clear he'll never truly accept their relationship and Eddie's sense of self worth is at an all time low. And that's the state of mind he's in during the fight in the pipeline. When Barry chooses not to let Eobard go after all, it puts them all in a position of potentially having to deal with this fight between the two speedsters just... never ending. It puts Iris in danger because Barry cares about her and because while Eddie is Eobard's ancestor... Iris isn't. From Eobard's point of view, Eddie's the only one who isn't expendable and from Eddie's point of view... he's the only one who is expendable.

His answer is suicide. And his death immediately erases Eobard from the timeline, but its also implied to have contributed to the re-emergence of the singularity. But at least Eobard was dead.

At least, until Barry created Flashpoint at the end of season 2. Presumably Eddie was alive in Flashpoint, but we never see him. Maybe he stays in Keystone instead of transferring to Central City. Never meets Iris. Never gets worn down to feel like he's not good enough. Never kills himself.

When Flashpoint is reset, Eddie's dead again but now his sacrifice has been rendered moot because Eobard's still alive as a time remnant.

It sets a rather nasty precedent for the show.

Season two also ends with a suicide. This time it's Barry's.

Much like Eddie the year before, Barry's been worn down. He had his place in his family's come into question, with Henry leaving at the start of the season and Wally's arrival midway through the season. His back is literally broken by the stress of fighting Zoom and despite everything he's suffered for the city, his honor is called into question the instant a different speedster takes to thievery. He has to give up his speed to protect Wally only for that to immediately put Caitlin in danger. His colleagues are brutally murdered by Zoom to teach him a lesson. His father finally comes back for good, only to be murdered in the same place as Barry's mother.

Honestly, there is no question (to my mind anyway) that Barry's suicidal at the end of the season. And because Barry his time remnants are fundamentally the same person at the moment of their split, the time remnant Barry creates is suicidal as well.

That time remnant tears himself apart to stop Zoom's plan to destroy the multi-verse. His very existence also lures in the Time Wraiths that take Zoom away, transforming him into the mindless Black Flash. All at the cost of a version of Barry killing himself, going unlamented and forgotten. But at least the multi-verse was safe.

Until the Red Skies Crisis when the multi-verse is actually destroyed and rebooted.

Another sacrifice rendered pointless.

HR does not kill himself in season three. But he deliberately places himself in a position to be killed in Iris' place. He arrives on the heels of a scandal on his Earth where he's been revealed to have been taking credit for someone else's work - with that person's blessing, but its still ruined his reputation. He comes wanting to reinvent himself, but from the start he's not the person the team really wants. They want Harry. Cisco wants Harry. He gets it hammered in that his strengths aren't appreciated by the team because he's not a scientist. His efforts to help STAR Labs are dismissed entirely. The only reason any attempts to help his museum venture succeed are because changing the future might save Iris.

It's not that HR is disliked, but he's left acutely aware that he's considered 'a bit much' and that he's always going to come second to the people he puts first. In fact, Tracy's probably the only one who truly and completely appreciates HR as he is.

So HR swaps places with Iris, knowing that he's going to die when he does. And while HR doesn't kill himself, there's an argument to be made that what he did was still suicide by proxy.

And this is a sacrifice that sticks, because Iris West is the love interest. She's never going to be killed off for real.

Three seasons ending with a suicidal sacrifice. And only one of them doesn't have that sacrifice reversed or nullified. Unfortunately, that's not the end of it either.

Harry leaves his Earth at the start of season four. His relationship with his daughter, which was shown to still be strong in season three, has somehow deteriorated to the point where she's thrown him off her support team and he comes to Earth-1 to reconnect with the found family he forged during season two. He's in the midst of a crisis and his understanding of himself as a parent is unraveling. And then DeVoe calls the other pillar of Harry's self identity into question, because Harry's genius isn't enough on its own anymore. He's not smart enough to out think DeVoe and his Earth-1 family is suffering. So Harry creates his own downfall, burns out his own brain trying to be the smartest. And he sacrifices his last moments of lucidity to find the answer to stopping DeVoe. In doing so, Harry puts Barry in the position to save Ralph's life.

But DeVoe still gets the last laugh when he causes the STAR Labs satellite to come falling down, nearly destroying the city and creating Cicada in the process.

But unlike previous seasons, Harry doesn't die. He gets some of his intelligence back and immediately gets exiled by the writers back to Earth-2 due to the massive problems with ableism this show has. But that's a different conversation.

Season five is probably the only season not to include a suicidal character who's kills themselves. Nora dies when she erases herself from the timeline by accident, but we know now she'll be back in the back half of season seven, along with her new brother. But one out five seasons not taking a suicide (or similar action in Harry's case) and painting it as a noble - but ultimately useless - gesture is rather... bad as far as track records go.

Season six has the alternate Barry Allen - implied to be the Barry from the 90s show - who dies in place of this show's Barry. To save the multi-verse and let this other Barry go home to his wife, something he'll never have with Tina again. And the multi-verse is destroyed anyway.

Season seven opened with Nash Wells, whose usual method of investigating mysteries and hoaxes led to the Anti Monitor's freedom and the multi-verse's destruction. His home Earth destroyed so he can never go home. He's confronted with an alternate version of his dead daughter, who can barely stand his presence. He begins to hallucinate alternate versions of himself and is possessed by the Reverse Flash and all his research on how to create a new Speed Force - to try to make up for some of the damage he's caused - points to a single conclusion. The only way to make things better is for him to die.

Instead, Nash's death immediately makes things worse. The artificial speed force is flawed and Barry destroys it in the very next episode. And while one could argue that Nash's death allowed Barry to save Iris and ultimately restored the original Speed Force, it doesn't negate the fact that Nash's suicidal state of mind wasn't addressed by the people who called him friend. And his legacy was immediately deemed a failure and destroyed.

While I wouldn't say the show is glorifying suicide, there's a subtle and incredibly troubling repetition in the story telling on the show that frames suicide as the right decision in certain circumstances. Even though what's being sacrificed for often comes to naught. And it's incredibly uncomfortable, seeing it all laid out like this.

I'm still really not sure what to make of it all, but I've got no doubt it ties into the show's ableism with regards to mental health issues. Because every time its someone whose mental health has been brought down to a low point who commits these acts of 'sacrifice' and while the team grieves these losses... they don't seem to learn from them either. Because it just keeps happening.

(Think I missed something? Please, by all means, add on.)

#the flash #the flash meta #tw suicude #some of the story telling trends on this show can be a little disturbing when you take a closer look at them #discussing several characters on the Flash who commit suicide (or make self-destructive decisions) across the seven seasons #ableism on the Flash

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fantasticstoryteller · 3 years

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New Dynasty Chapter 43

“It would be Oscorp,” muttered Spiderman from his vantage point.

Wade frowned under his mask. “I thought that serum you and Rich Boy invented fixed whatever was making him unstable.”

“Only if he kept taking it.” Spiderman ran a hand over his mask.

[You know—we’re not in New York. If we come across Osborn here we could kill him.]

{After all that hard work Peter put into saving the man? He’d be devastated!}

Yeah, Spidey wouldn't like it if I killed his best friend’s father, Wade thought to them. And to tell the truth, Wade kind of liked Harry. Sure the kid had a chip on his shoulder, but he seemed to be a good friend for Peter.

[And there was that whole incident where he didn’t even flinch when you stabbed the wall next to his head.]

{Well, he told us to get out of town and leave Peter alone!}

“Not helping,” muttered Wade.

A breeze lazily blew over the two of them. From the way the men were dressed, they were cold, but the two costumed men were fine. Wade’s leather effectively blocked all the breezes, and Peter’s suit had an automatic tendency to acclimate towards the cold. If not for the huge complex in front of them and all the trees around them, it could have been just another night on a rooftop.

The communicator in Wade’s suit (and presumably Spiderman’s) crackled to life. “There’s a second building behind the main facility. It looks like a loading dock of some kind, and something’s being moved,” Iron Man told them from his position—wherever that was. His new suit camouflage was great.

“There’s something going on inside as well,” Natasha told them. Somehow she had gotten in. None of them were asking how she did it. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but there’s a lot of champagne toasting, laughing, and a giant metal box that has a ridiculously huge red bow on it.”

“Sounds like they finished what they were doing,” murmured Bruce from—wherever he was at. The only one who didn’t stay hidden from Wade on mission was Peter. And Natasha, but Natasha had made sure to point out that while she couldn’t permanently kill him, she could, easily, make sure that he couldn't get back up for a while if he got to be a danger on the mission.

[Like we’d ever put Spidey in danger!]

{On purpose.}

“More importantly,” Wade said ignoring the boxes, “none of the guards are professionals. Legit mercs and merc companies wouldn't go near this job.”

“Probably heard how little Norman pays his employees,” muttered Tony.

Oscorp and Stark Industries had a strange rivalry going. While people muttered about how callous Oscorp treated its employees, Stark Industries had been voted as the best workplace in the country three years in a row. And except for a few pointed barbs, neither man commented on the rivalry.

“Think Norman knows what these idiots are up to?” asked Natasha. “I don’t see any sign of him being in here.”

A thin sliver of tension left the spider’s shoulders. Maybe Norman was taking the medicine regularly. Or maybe not. It was too soon to say.

[Too bad he’s not here. We should still kill him for wanting us to kill Spiderman.]

{He gave up on that idea though!}

“Guys,” Natasha said, “if we’re going to move, we need to do it now.”

“All right! Into the fray!” said Tony. There was an explosion.

{Why aren’t we allowed to blow anything up!}

[We blew up that wall back in Chapter 11!]

{And what chapter are we in now?}

Both Wade and Spiderman got up and ran into the building. Spiderman knocking people out and Wade—not killing them. They might die if they don’t get medical attention soon, but he’s not killing them.

[I’m not sure Spidey will appreciate the difference if they die…]

{Die, shmie! I want something cool to happen! Like explosions we get to make!}

Ignoring the pin pad box by the door Deadpool sliced the knob off and it swung open as the two costumed men swarmed inside, Spiderman spinning web after web as Deadpool didn’t kill people.

In the center of the room was a giant box. It was ten feet tall, made of metal, and appeared to have vents in it. On the top, as Natasha reported was a giant red bow that covered the entire top of the cage. The edges of the ribbon even had lace on it.

{Open the box!}

[It might be a trap!]

Open the box Wade. The control panel is too your left.

Wade turned to see, attached to the giant dolly the box was on, a control panel with a single red button on it. Seriously? Just the one button?

Don’t argue with my artistic sense Wade. Just push the button. And you might want to take about three steps back when you do.

“NO!” screamed one of the scientists, easily labeled by his lab coat, as Deadpool approached the box. He turned looking for the other members of Deadpool’s team. “DON’T LET HIM OPEN IT!”

Wade pushed the button and jumped back the required three steps as the panel of the box in front of him slid down. He looked up into the eyes—of a velociraptor.

Please Wade. Real raptors have feathers. This is a scientifically engineered creature straight from my nightmares because I was way too young to watch Jurassic Park when it first came out.

How old—?

None of your business. Now, see the black box on the creature’s chest? Smash it.

Barely noticing that the fight was screeching to a standstill around him, Wade shrugged. “You’re the boss,” he said to the author before stepping forwards to punch the box.

As it broke a few of the pieces pierced his hands releasing the necessary few drops of blood to activate the mechanism. Almost instantly, as his hand healed of the damage, he could feel the raptor in the back of his mind, snorting with hunger, with desire, with the need to hunt. He slowly turned and looked at the scientists and amateur mercenaries. A smile broke across his face as several of the ones staring at him lost what little color they still had.

Have fun Wade.

“Yee-haw!” wailed Wade as the creature roared, showing off all her perfectly shaped, conical teeth. Wade pulled both katanas from their sheaths and dove back into the fray as the creature waved her clawed hands in mimicry and dove on one of the gunmen swiftly eviscerating him with talons on her feet. The creature, catching Wade’s excitement and blood lust, didn’t even stop to feed. It moved on to attack the next the gunman.

The man was unlucky enough to fire several bullets that hurt the creature—but she had Wade’s blood. Enough of Wade’s blood that her wounds healed almost as quickly as the bullets pierced straight through her scaled flesh. She roared with hurt and rage at the man who had injured her and leaped on him, pinning his shoulders with her taloned hands as her foot came up and her controllable claw crept up us torso and dug in, near his shoulder, until it hit his rib cage and she pulled him apart to leave him gasping as he slowly, painfully died.

“Damn you’re dark today,” Wade said as he stabbed more people with his swords.

Shut up, it’s been a long week.

As Wade spun and kicked another opponent, he got a glimpse in the back of his mind of a distinctive red and blue suit. “No!” yelled Wade instinctively reaching through the bond. “You can’t kill Spidey!” The creature looked around and, through her eyes, he saw that Spiderman was surrounded by gunmen and clutching a bleeding shoulder. “Protect Spiderman!” he ordered.

The creature roared her assent to the order, slipped her narrow head under Spiderman’s body, and lifted until he slid down her neck to rest on her back before she leaped into action once more. Bullets flew at her and she twisted to protect the spider clinging with confusion to her back—and lasers flew out of her eyes to melt several of the guns.

“She has laser eyes!”

Yes. And none of this “Oh no, must keep the glasses/goggles on at all times” junk. She has perfect control over her laser eyes. And that’s not all she can do.

A small line of men, on a catwalk above the action, aimed their weapons at the creature. Wade saw it, showed her through the bond what was happening, and she roared before a flickering blue light surrounded her—just in time to bounce the bullets back into the men who shot them leaving both the creature and the man on her back unharmed. The creature parted its lips in satisfaction—and hunger.

“She can use a force field!”

Yes Wade. Oh, and she’s going to need fed soon. She eats hamburgers.

“Hamburgers?”

Not the whole thing—just the meat. They don’t even have to be cooked—there’s not a parasite in the world that can kill her.

Wade leaped up with a cheer and knocked over a cardboard box that fell over and opened to reveal Stetson cowboy hats. Without thinking he snagged two of them as the creature ran over to him and he leaped up on the back of it behind Spiderman. Then, before the costumed hero could blink, he placed hats on each of their heads.

“Okay people!” they heard Iron Man say over the communicator. “This place is done for; let’s get out of here!”

“Onward, honorable Bea Arthur!” said Wade firmly and the creature roared again before dashing out of the building—managing to jump on several of the downed “soldiers” on the way out.

As they left the building Spiderman began to shake and Wade slid an arm around him. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. As soon as they were a safe distance away Bea slid to a stop on the snow and Wade jumped off to help Spiderman down—only to see that the costumed hero was laughing. “What is it?” asked Wade.

He laughed harder before he could explain. “We just—rode a—dinosaur—that shoots—lasers!”

“Spidey? Peter?” asked Wade worriedly.

He’s fine Wade. The shoulder wound is shallow and he’s just reacting to the stress.

[Is he panicking?]

{Let’s kiss him and make it better!}

“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” muttered Wade. He ripped off his mask, ripped off Spiderman’s mask, and planted a firm kiss on the younger man’s mouth, stopping the hysterical laughter.

They slowly broke apart and Peter smiled. “Great idea Yellow,” he murmured.

“Feeling better?” asked Wade.

Peter pulled him closer. “Not yet,” he said.

“Oh, well, we better try again then.” Wade bent down for another kiss as the building exploded behind them. Wade broke away, looked at the fiery explosion, and grinned at his husband. “Epic,” he said. Peter simply pulled him in for another kiss.

“I hate to break this up,” they heard through the communicator, “but we’re getting a distress signal from Xavier’s mansion. Given that we all have children there, we might want to see what’s going on.”

The two men sighed, stopped kissing, and just held each other for a moment. “All right,” said Peter as he picked up his mask from the ground. “Let’s go make sure Arachne is okay.”

“Can we stop at a BK on the way?” asked Wade. “Bea Arthur really needs to eat and I don’t want her to decide that we’re food.”

#Spider-Man #Deadpool #Spideypool

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thegc4life · 4 years

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Do you any other Hawks fic ideas you'd like to write? Or is Hawks-sensei all you've got on your mind right now?

Wyv. You know not what you ask. I have to put them in categories, Wyv. Categories.

Kid!Hawks:

-Kid!Hawks growing up with the LOV (both as a permanent thing and various ridiculous drabbles) This involves Unwilling Big Brother Shigaraki, scarily willing Big SisterToga who knows all the coolest knife tricks, Best Uncle Twice who sometimes on his real good days doubles as temporary Dad, the Dad who teaches you how to hot wire cars and laugh people’s money straight out of their wallets Compress, mother-henning can-not-leave-you-alone-for-one-god-damn-minute Spinner, True Mom Kurogiri, Big Sis Mag who seems to be the only actual one that realizes that children need to sleep at some point for the love of god, extremely confused but horrifically soft Dabi who may or may not eventually turn his whole life around because of this feathered idiot that needs someone to make sure he lives a happy life whether it be a permanent shrinking or not. Oh, and Machia. The best Mountain Monster Dog brother (?) a boy could ask for.

-Kid!Hawks with UA (staff edition) also both in temporary and permanent circumstances. Temporary is already in progress. Permanent? Oh boy, permanent world. They raise him within UA so as to keep him from the Commission. Hawks often sits in on their classes with coloring books, picture books, or just to sit there and watch them. He is very smart. He picks up on things, but mostly he just likes being around all the staff. He picks a new person to sleep with every week because some of them have really shitty sleep schedules and even as a kid he knows they would feel bad keeping him up, thus forcing them to go to bed through good-person guilt so he tragets the sleepiest looking people for the week (hint: Aizawa gets picked a lot, and even if he’s not sleep deprived Hawks would pick him because he adores his grumpy cat Dad). Thirteen does crafts with him all the time. She watches every kid show and gets really into it with him. Hawks and Mic make the meals and they sing the entire time. They sing together throughout the day. Hawks will chirp out a line of notes and out of nowhere Hizashi will burst in to sing the lyrics. Midnight reads him bedtime stories cause her voices are the best. She does his nails and lets him do hers. He practices on the UA students to surprise her with new designs (the students fall over their own feet to offer to be his test subject). Snipe does little challenges with him. Things that, while technically helping him get used to controlling his quirk, are more fun than anything else because Hawks enjoys using his feathers in games. Hawks dresses up like a cowboy for an entire month, quoting old western movies and driving everyone but a very proud Snipe up the wall. Hound Dog and Hawks go on walks together ALL THE TIME. They explore the woods around UA and Hound Dog tells Cementoss to change up the geography every once in a while so they have something new to explore. He teaches Hawks how to go camping and Hawks fricken adores him and is always on his shoulders just kicking his feet or napping in Hound Dogs hair. Ectoplasm is Hawks favorite person to play any kind of tag based game because the others are too easy to catch with his feathers. But with Ectoplasm and all his clones? hawks goes nuts. Ectoplasm cried once when Hawks asked Aizawa for peg legs for Halloween and when someone asks him if he wants to be a pirate he says no because he wants to be a super cool hero like Ecto for Halloween. No one will be as cool as him. Hawks fricken loves Vlad. Like, adores him. Whenever Vlad is in the room Hawks will just go hang off his shoulders, or tuck under his arms with a book to read, or just lean against him. He has a little stuffed bull dog that has Vlad’s exact resting bitch face and carries it with him every time he leaves the dorm because he feels safer with it. He goes to Vlad when he’s injured because Vlad just takes care of it, gives him a hug, and doesn’t tell him to be more careful. Just asks if Hawks learned something and moves on. Hawks and Nezu are penpals. They see eachother every single day, but they are penpals. Hawks grows up with the most beautiful calligraphy handwriting because he keeps trying to out-do Nezu’s. He absolutely tattles on every single teacher in these letters, giving Nezu years worth of blackmail. Hawks thinks Nezu is a stuffed animal until he is fourteen because Nezu never fesses up. He just thinks the staff is even cooler for letting a stuffed animal run the place. He only ever cries around Nezu.

-Kid!Hawks UA(Student edition): So many. There’s lines I’ve written where they’re still in school when Hawks is kidified. When they’re already pros. In Canon, in Hawks-sensei, I even a small blurb sentence of Deku running a preschool that Hawks gets put into in an AU with quirks still. I can’t even... there’s too many students, cause I’d do all 1-A and 1-B. My favorite one to randomly wake up in a panick and write about though is the one where it’s Hawks-sensei verse based and Kid!Hawks gets taken in by the Monoma family. Rui and Eiko are older and Monoma is a pro-hero by then. The pure amount of fluff, sass, and Hawks spoiling that will happen. Big Brother Rui and Bigger Sister Eiko. I think about this one a lot.

-I’m currently (slowly but progressing) writing a gift for @saltwater-sweets where Kid!Hawks is taken in by the Uraraka family. Like, he’s not even shrunk in this one. Uraraka’s newlywed parents were involved in the accident he first saved people in and they found him before the Commission. They realized his homelife situation and opened their home to him and now he is Uraraka’s big brother and that one line I threw out there? About him being a global superpower in household moving? Teaming up with Uraraka for that? Yeah.

-Kid!League of Villains and adult Hawks. Yeah, you heard me. They all get shrunk instead of him. And he can’t just... turn them in. They’re kids. They haven’t done any of the crimes their older counterparts have. And if it’s a permanent thing? They stay kids? Then he has a chance to really, truly save them. To give them the happy lives stolen from them. The Commission doesn’t like that. So Hawks takes them and runs. Dabi can be an adult too, I guess, if that’s the ship or something, but I just really wanna write Kid!LOV and Dad!Hawks.

-Kid!Aizawa. Dad!Hawks. Same concept. Beautiful dream. Need I say more.

-Kid!Hawks, Best Jeanist

-Kid!Hawks Gang Orca

-Kid!Hawks RUMI!!

Vigilante Hawks:

- Raven was born and I dived down that rabbit hole so fast I went back in time. Raven. But from a way earlier age. Those guys mugging Hawks when he was fifteen? The spark. Hawks stayed on the streets, he never went back, and he learned some things. He got some freedom, learned some shit, and realized that hero society was pretty fucked up. Shigaraki starts the LOV up and realizes there’s this whole underground community he was never aware of that Hawks has been building for years. It’s great.

-Hawks was never found by the Commission so he was never ‘Hawks’. His Dad raised him as a criminal but Hawks, with his little heart of gold, took every chance he could to make something good out of the bad deeds. Then he got old enough and he took full control. You ever seen the Levi OVA’s of Attack on Titan? Where he’s walking down the stairs and you realize every single person there is part of a huge ass gang of awesome with Levi at the head? That. THAT.

-Hawks loses his shit in Canon and goes completely AWOL. full Feral. He sees the problems, and he is prepared to do whatever it takes get rid of them. Whatever it takes.

AU Hawks

-Horribly injured, recently retired at the ripe old age of 23, and looking for something to save him from depression. Hawks meets Todoroki Fuyumi who gets him a job at her school. This one makes my brain happy.

-Takami Keigo and Todoroki Natsuo meet in college, graduate together, join the same hospital, and open one as partners as soon as they can. Ship or no ship, they go through their entire lives together. (I just... I really like the Todoroki sibs, okay?)

-Takami Keigo was born a lot earlier. So much, earlier, in fact that he is classmates with this overly optimistic ball of light named Yagi Toshinori and the grumpy ball of flame Todoroki Enji. Big Three anyone? Also, everyone needs a dumb smart birb to keep them sane. Hawks loves his friends, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass that tries to hurt them be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Also, he meets Nana.

-I LOVE THE IMAGINARY KAMAKIRI FAMILY DYNAMIC OKAY?! literally anything with Hawks involved in their lives, okay?! I did not expect to spiral so hard when I made up Hideo and his relationship with Kamakiri but my god did I spiral! I just really love them!

-I’m a sucker for the classics. Tattoo/flower. Coffee shop. College. Roommates. Love.

- (she made me write this) a story surrounding the amazing love story of my sister and Iida Tenya with Aizawa crashes the wedding even though he was invited and Mirio is her maid of honor, with Eri as the ring bearer, and All Might is the flower girl. Twice is the officiator. Uraraka releases a flock of fake pigeons (not real ones cause they don’t deserve that). Oh, and everyone else is there too, I guess. Except for Mineta. Cause he’s in jail.

Right now, at this very moment, I can not for the life of me think of any others but I KNOW there’s at least seven more that I just can’t remember because my brain is work dead. Wyv. @wyvernspirit do you see what you’ve opened here? Close the box! Close it before it’s too late! There is always more! I am never without MORE ideas!

#adorable bean response #pandoras box #i only vaguely spell checked

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wherearemyglassesbro · 3 years

Note

yes please ramble about genshin impact

I wanna talk about play style babes ❤️😭 so I WILL 🤪🤪

Disclaimer! Every character is amazing in their own way! Anyone can be a main dps or any play style is great!! This is just my opinion, which isn’t worth much lmao

Everyone shown will be written about from left to right!!!

Archers:

Fischl: annoying. I can’t stand her voice lines and she’ll stay at level 20 until everyone else is level 90 and I take pity on her and level her up like everyone else. Her charged attack confuses me and she’s just. Annoying. She’s been on my team ONE time! Her first and last time

Venti: This bitch...I’m blessed to have him. His ult attack is epic!! Once I get him artifacts to increase Anemo damage it’s all over for you assholes :) I typically don’t enjoy archers or catalysts because I like being up close and personal with whatever I’m fighting so I can SEE my sword hit it y’know? But Venti makes domains and fighting camps of enemies so easy!! Treasure hoarder camps? Obliterated. Though keep in mind, I really only have him on my team for his ult and charged attacks, everyone else deals the rest of the damage

Amber: She used to have a permanent spot on my team before I found out Venti was actually really good...Didn’t fully understand the game yet :) she’s good! Basic and easy to understand play style! Once I got Bennet though...She is no longer my go-to Pyro :’) sorry girlie...

Diona: I’m sorry but no ❤️ I personally can’t stand playing as the tiny characters. Her voice lines are cute and from what I’ve seen, she’s a great healer!! But I won’t use her, it’s just too much of a hassle since she’s so small. She can’t climb or run as fast as taller characters and it’s just annoying to be so much shorter than whatever I’m fighting :/

Childe: I don’t have him but I got to play as him in his story quest as his play style was??? Confusing??? The whole switching from bow to swords was confusing and hard to keep up with cause I’m just mashing buttons babey!!! If I’m being honest, if I had him I wouldn’t use him much. He’s cool and I love him as a character but he just wouldn’t fit in my team anywhere! That pains me to say...;-;

Ganyu: Regretting skipping her banner :/ I didn’t do her character trial either but I finished her story quest and uh...I missed out! That’s what I get for giving into the ‘cryo Amber’ mindset! Her play style is very fun! I love her ult attack...Damn...I missed out man she would have been awesome on my team for sure.

———————

Claymores:

Beidou: 100/10, she is SO useful!! She’s on my secondary team and even though she’s only a level 40, she’s a C6!! She’s my ONLY C6 character so I’ve been dumping all of my electro materials into her lately, she is SUCH a hard hitter I love her! I love electro and ice or fire reactions!! She’s the queen of them babe. Shes fast and strong...Pirate woman...

Razor: I’m conflicted cause he’s fun to play as but I have a lot of beef with him. The first problem is a problem I cause myself because one hit and he’s dead. If I don’t have a shield up, he’s a goner two seconds into any fight. My other gripe is that his ult doesn’t carry over to other characters. An example of that is Kaeya’s ice ring or Noelle’s shield! Those carry over between character switches but Razor’s does not. Annoyingggggg!!!

Chongyun: Admittedly, I kinda gave up on building him. There’s only room for one cryo character on my team and that’s Kaeya. His fighting style isn’t all that special but I feel like the game is trying to get me to level him up cause the last 4 domains I’ve done, I’ve been paired with level 80 Chongyun players and they were pretty awesome so...When I have the materials to spare, I might have to invest in this guy lmao

Xinyan: I JUST got her like last week or something so she isn’t leveled up a whole lot but oh man...Her ult is sick. I LOVE the rock and roll theme for her, she’s just awesome! I don’t see her becoming part of either of my main teams but I will definitely use her for domains once I can spare materials to level her up ;-;

Noelle: I used her alllllll the time until I got Zhongli. Her shield is fantastic, you really can’t go wrong with a shield! Other than that...I can’t really say anything else about her :’) her play style is similar to the other claymores which doesn’t really allow her to stand out much

Diluc: he’s an honorable mention. I don’t have him...But I want him so bad. My pity is at 50/50 so I’ll either get Hu Tao or him!! (Or Qiqi, Mona, Keqing or Jean but I don’t wanna talk about that). People make him so strong, even when he’s lower leveled he still hits hard! I’d love love love to have him on my team

—————

Catalysts:

Lisa: the og catalyst...I like her as a character but man oh man...She just doesn’t fit on any team! Her play style is fun! Her voice lines are flirty, she’s just a fun character uggghhh I’d love to actually play with her more! Beidou is just the better electro for my team so Lisa will sit on the sidelines for awhile :’)

Ningguang: I poured all of my geo resources I to Zhongli so she literally never got the chance to even be on a team. I leveled her up enough to get that free wish but...Yeah...I have only played as her during a character trial even though I have her! Idk, she just wouldn’t fit on my team. Some people make her super strong which I admire!!

Barbara: fantastic I love everything about her! She and Bennet swap places on my main team every hour or so but when she’s paired with Kaeya, she’s just awesome!! She just works well with others! And she sings :’) other than that her play style isn’t exactly anything special! She’s just a character I can swap out a lot and she just FITS in my main team?? Amazing

Mona: Still in the process of leveling her up, I really enjoy her play style! Not a fan of catalysts but... I did something the other day when I switched artifacts around and now she does pretty good damage?? Idk what I did but she’s more fun to play as now! My only gripe is when she sprints, she turns into a puddle! So when I want to dodge or do short bursts of sprinting she leaps in and out of the floor like STOP IT HAJSLSSK the splashing is SO LOUD for WHAT lmao I love her though! Solid spot on the secondary team

Sucrose: she is so underleveled but I made an all Anemo team just for giggles...And now I want to actually buff her up. It’ll take a lot of time and material farming but she has a lot of potential to work well with Pyro and hydro characters with her swirl effect!! :)

Klee: Again, not a fan of the kiddos. I don’t even remember when I played as her, it might have been her trial or in a story quest somewhere but I just didn’t enjoy her play style. She throws bombs which don’t always go off immediately so I’m sitting there like ???? Blow up??? And then they don’t? Confusing!!!

——————

Swords:

Kaeya: Oh yes my big sexy man hello sir 👀 he is never leaving my team!! Never! I’ve formed an emotional attachment to him and uh well he’s level 74 now and overpowers all of my 5 stars except Zhongli. When he’s paired up with Barbara and they both activate their water/ice swirls?? That’s my favorite thing in the whole world I LOVE freeze reactions! Ugh absolutely flawless! My only gripe about his play style is that sometimes he turns away when firing his ice and I’m like NO THE OTHER WAY it’s called auto aim or something idk, most characters do it at some point...It’s just ten times more annoying when he does it :)

Jean: I got Jean very recently so she isn’t at her best yet but WOW she is an amazing healer!! Like wow, she’s giving Bennet a run for his money. I have no complaints about her! Her play style is kinda basic. I do love how she can just blow enemies away though, that’s fun!! Especially in co op when I can blow my teammates off cliffs :) I don’t really use her though...She isn’t on my main or secondary team...rip

Bennet: Benny’s adventure team!!! He and Barbara swap spots on my main team a lot! He’s a great healer! Not as good as Barb but I’m still working on him!! He’s kinda just there for moral support, he’s too under leveled to really do any damage :’) he’s just...a cute lil guy :’) I like having him on my team :’) his play style is very basic which makes it easy to swap him in and out for other characters

Xingqiu: his ult and charged attacks take FOREVER to load!! I love him as a character but I have no patience for load times. Off to the sidelines he goes! He’s cool and fun but man!!! In the heat of battle I don’t have time to wait!! I need that hydro burst so I can get an elemental reaction!! I don’t have 30 seconds to wait, my liege!!

Aether: there’s a difference between Anemo traveler and Geo traveler!! Geo traveler is better BUT when he produces thise rock balls?? That’s beyond obnoxious especially in domains. STOP MAKING BALLS IN DOMAINS!!! You’re just raising enemies into the air and now your teammates can’t reach!! The geo ult is good though :) Anemo traveler is alright, I cant complain but geo is just superior :)

Albedo: I don’t have him but I tried him out during his character trial...He’s hot but I’m just not a huge fan of his play style. He summons an elevator...Eh. If I had him he would kinda just...sit on the sidelines

Keqing: oh wow she is just SO AWESOME!! If I got her instead of Diluc I honestly wouldn’t be mad. I’d have to frantically rearrange my teams for he to fit somewhere but it would be worth it. Her character trial showed me how fast she is and how fast her ult/charged attacks charge up! Her ult looks AMAZING and if I activated a shield around her and Kaeya’s ice thing I think she’d obliterated domains! I’d love to have her on my team golly jeez

Qiqi: Again, not a fan of the small characters :( people use her in domains all the time and she’s an awesome healer! But if I had her I probably would not use her :/ anti child

————————

Polearms:

Zhongli: I can’t imagine NOT using him on my team. Having a shield is a must because I’m a huge wimp!! And I’ve finally built him enough that he will occasionally do 10k damage...Only when he feels like it I guess. It’s happened like 4 times and I just scream every time it’s awesome!! His burst attack is awesome and I know I’ve said it already but I enjoy being up close when fighting, not standing and shooting from the side. When his shield is up, this man takes zero damage and just deals hits left and right!! He’s a staple for my team for sure

Xiao: I really loved his story quest and his fighting style is fun HOWEVER he is just....Annoying to fight with. He takes damage with his own ult attack???? That’s obnoxious! And then I have to make room on my team for a support when I play with him :/ it isn’t a huge deal, I enjoy playing with Barbara and Bennet but my dream team (Zhongli, Venti, Kaeya and Xiao) just can’t work out cause Xiao’s constantly on life support. Other than that, I like his dash attacks and even though his ult kills him, it deals a lot of damage! Still building him up to add him to the main team :)

Xiangling: I love her, she’s adorable and I love Gouba but I just poured all of my materials into Bennet and everyone else so I never got the chance to properly build her. She’s kinda just stuck at level 31....Waiting for her chance to be on a team. I used to use her often when I was like ar20! I’ve kinda grown away from her, I’m not even sure why I guess :’) her play style is fine! I just like...Other characters more ;-; I feel mean saying that lmao she’s very fun!! Just not what I’m looking for

Honorable polearm mentions:

Hu Tao: She literally comes out tomorrow but I’m not gonna wait to try her out before posting this. Her play style looks very fun! The way she phases through enemies is strange but very cool!!! I’m a bit confused about the way she moves but hey! I’ll get to do her character trial and see for myself! Very excited about her being introduced to the game

Rosaria: we haven’t gotten a preview of her fighting style but I feel bad about leaving her out! She’s close to being released! She deserves recognition!

My thumbs are cramping....remember that every character is awesome and they all have back stories and cool voice lines! This is all my opinion and my team builds! Nothing against these guys and gals! :)

#this took 80 years I have arthritis now #I’m so tired but I had to shit this post out before bed lmao

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anistarrose · 4 years

Text

Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually - Chapter 5

AO3

Summary: It’s time for the hunt to resume. Noelle makes a promise, Kravitz conducts an interview, Taako plans a séance, and Barry makes a friend.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald

Sorry for the late update! I was sick on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then on Thursday I decided to focus entirely on losing my mind over the new TAZ episode, so that means it’s time for a rare Friday chapter. Lots of stuff is happening in this chapter, so hopefully it was worth the wait!

(Also, I normally don’t write the chapter titles on tumblr for this fic because it makes the title section of the post look cluttered, but this one is called “me and the boys at 2 am looking for jeans.” Just really wanted to make sure you were all aware of that fact.)

***

Long past the curfew established by the Reclaimers’ training routine, at the hour of night when the moonbase’s artificial lights dimmed and the bonfires on the planet below faded away, four pairs of eyes watched Avi from the shadows. A murmur of excitement escaped from behind one of the glass spheres when he yawned and checked his watch, followed by a chorus of disappointed sighs when he slapped himself across the face and set back to work unloading a new supply shipment, but he didn’t seem to notice them over the muffled roar of high-altitude winds.

Finally, a passenger sphere floated back into the port and the Bureau’s three top Regulators disembarked, back from a planetside drill that had run long. From her perch on Killian’s shoulder, Carey leaned down to affectionately slap Avi on the back, and he quickly accepted her invitation to join their gang for drinks at the Chug ‘N Squeeze. As Avi led the way out of the port, Carey and Killian hot on his heels while Noelle followed more distantly, there was much hushed rejoicing among their shadowy, impatient observers.

“Finally,” Taako huffed. “I was starting to think he was pulling an all-nighter.”

After checking one last time to make sure the coast was clear, Angus stepped out of his hiding place and reached for the door of the transport sphere, but Magnus grabbed ahold of him by the collar of his shirt.

“Sorry, little guy, but you’re staying behind this time.”

Angus opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again, at a loss for words for the first time since he’d started speaking in complete sentences at age fourteen months.

“It’s nothing personal, Agnes — we just need someone to stay behind and distract Avi if he comes back before we do,” Taako explained. “And no one can resist all your nosy questions once you get going, so you’re the perfect accomplice!”

“I can think of a few people who can resist it,” Merle scoffed. “Number one, me.”

Magnus ignored them both, kneeling down to look at Angus in the eyes. “Ango, if I’m being honest… we had some close calls last time, and that was in a cave where we honestly weren’t expecting to find anything besides a clue or two if we were lucky. Tonight, we’re going to try and get a lich’s attention, so this morning, we all sat down and talked about it and agreed we’ll feel better if you’re safe up here.”

Taako sighed. “Gee, way to let the kid know we actually care about him. Now his ego’s gonna grow until it’s bigger than mine, and then where will I be?”

“It’s okay, sir. I’m sure you and Merle will still find ways to keep me humble.” Angus managed a smile.

“Stay safe, all right?”

“That’s the spirit!” Merle laughed, as Magnus picked him up and placed him inside the sphere. “Now hurry up and set the trajectory, Taako. Barry Bluejeans isn’t gonna arrest himself —”

“Please, hang on just a second!”

Four heads whirled around to face the port’s exit hallway, where Noelle was floating.

“It’s just me, don’t worry!” she assured them, noticing Magnus and Angus’s guilty expressions and Merle and Taako’s panicked ones. “I won’t let the Director hear a peep of this, I promise — but if you’re going after Mr. Bluejeans, I’d like to come with you. If you’ve got room in that sphere, of course.”

“Well, the scale of this lich hunting team is rapidly veering past ‘secret club’ and careening into ‘elaborate conspiracy,’ but… I guess this whole bargain is about your life too, isn’t it?” Magnus thought out loud. “Taako, Merle, are you guys alright with this?”

“A ghost would know where to find another ghost better than any of us would, right?” Merle asked, and Taako shrugged.

“Then welcome to the lich-hunting conspiracy, Noelle,” Magnus declared.

On her way to the sphere, Noelle patted Angus on the head, surprisingly gentle despite her heavy robot arms. “Sorry, pal. I didn’t mean to replace you.”

“It’s okay, ma’am,” Angus told her. “I know you’re better in fights than I am, so… just be sure to keep them safe, okay? And if you get a chance, could you ask Barry if our theory about the Voidfish was right?”

Noelle’s face display flickered, somehow expressing a determined smile with just a few dozen lit-up pixels. “I’ll do my best, I promise.”

***

There were many reasons for a soul not to join the others in the Astral Sea, but most often, it was because they were waiting for someone. Luckily, the person Kravitz wished to speak with was one such soul, so he was able to find her in only a matter of minutes.

There was only one island in the Astral Sea with a cottage on it, after all.

Though expertly constructed, it was clearly unfinished, lacking a door, roof, or windows — so Kravitz knocked on the cedar doorframe, and waited outside for the house’s occupant to respond. Just seconds later, a tall woman with a bandana tied around her hair met him at the doorway, smiling sadly and shaking her head as she laid eyes on Kravitz.

“Oh. You’re the emissary of the Raven Queen. I’m sorry, I — I wasn’t sure if I was hoping or fearing that you were someone else.”

“I understand.” Kravitz said softly. “You’re Julia Waxmen-Burnsides, right?”

“That’s right.” Julia offered him a calloused hand. “Nice to meet — er, formally meet you, Death.”

“Death is my mother. Call me Kravitz,” Kravitz replied as he accepted the handshake, and Julia chuckled.

“Okay, Kravitz. What brings you over to my humble island?”

***

“Well, this spot should be as good as any,” Taako announced, kicking a pebble across the black glass circle that once was Phandalin. “Magnus, did you bring the sacrificial denim?”

“Sure did!” Magnus held up a pair of freshly purchased jeans. “Also some candles, and an ouija board that Carey helped me steal from Leon the other day as part my rogue lessons.”

“Tell Carey that gaslighting Leon is my job, and she needs to quit infringing on my brand.” Taako pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket, tried and failed to draw a circle on the glass, then conjured a paintbrush instead and started painting a pentagram.

Meanwhile, Noelle drifted around haphazardly, the lights on her face growing dim. “It’s… it’s so empty here. I was bracing myself for ruins, for bodies… but there’s just nothin’ left. I can’t even remember where the bar was, or the hotel, or the stables…”

Merle looked away. “Sorry we dropped the ball on this one, Noelle…”

“S’alright. You made up for it in the lab last week, with the savin’ the world and negotiating for my soul an’ all.”

“Well, don’t get too comfortable in your robot body, ‘cause we might not have much time left in the living world if Barry doesn’t show tonight.” Taako placed the jeans in the center of the pentagram, then lit them on fire. “But I think this’ll get his attention. Everyone, come join hands!”

Magnus kneeled and took Taako and Noelle’s hands, while Merle stood up on his tiptoes to do the same.

“You’ve done this before, right?” Merle whispered.

“Plenty of times.” Taako summoned a Mage Hand and adjusted his scarf to cover his nose and mouth, as the fire in the center of their circle intensified. “Noelle? Would you do the honor of reaching out for us?”

“Uh, I’ve never been to a séance quite like this one. Maybe you’d be the better one to —”

“Barry, you asshole! Too much of a coward to show your face!” Merle shouted. “Heard about how I banished Legion and got the heebie-jeebies, didja?”

The ruins of Phandalin fell eerily silent, aside from the quiet crackling of the fire.

“Sorry. Still not detecting any liches,” Noelle reported.

“Well, being a dick didn’t work,” Merle muttered. “Shoulda brought some booze and thrown a party — maybe that would get his lazy ass’s attention.”

“I’m pretty sure liches can’t drink, Merle,” Noelle told him. “And honestly, now that I’m thinkin’ about it, I can’t imagine why Barry would be obligated to haunt this here town just ‘cause it’s where he died. Are y’all sure this is the best place to look for him?”

“Positive,” said Taako, but Magnus spoke over him.

“Maybe we should widen our search area. Quick, what other places would be significant to Barry?”

“How ‘bout the cave where he got his ass kicked?” Merle suggested. “You know, the place where we met G’larg or whatever his name was.”

Magnus let go of Taako and Noelle’s hands to fan the air in front of him. “Well, a hike sure sounds better than standing around inhaling denim fumes, I’ll give you that.”

Taako extinguished the blaze then cast Phantom Steed, and Garyl manifested atop the embers of the fire, rearing into a majestic pose. “Hiking’s for chumps. Garyl and I will race you there!”

***

Julia led Kravitz inside the cottage, which smelled pleasantly of cedar and lavender, and motioned for him to sit down in one of two rocking chairs. She sat in the other, crossing her legs and absentmindedly rocking back and forth.

“So, Maggie went and got on the Raven Queen’s bad side, did he?”

“Not permanently, I’m hoping,” Kravitz replied. “I don’t know him as well as you, but he and his fellow death criminal associates don’t strike me as anything like the usual bounties I hunt. I was hoping you could testify on his moral character, and maybe also shed some light on how he cheated death, because he sure doesn’t seem to know.”

“Well, he’s survived some close battles — but I assume you’re looking for necromancy, not near-death experiences.” Julia drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. “And I know Magnus is no necromancer.”

“I figured as much. Did he know any necromancers, though?”

Julia shook her head. “No. He’ll stand up to any authority figure if he believes they’re abusing their power, but that’s not because he just walks around looking for rules to break — it’s ‘cause he can’t stand injustice. He’s a good man, and I can’t imagine him throwing his lot in with a lich or someone like that to flaunt the laws of life and death…”

Her voice trailed off. “Do you know how long ago these so-called crimes happened?” she asked.

“They all registered in our system at once, about twelve years ago. Needless to say, I’m assuming he didn’t die 19 distinct times within minutes of each other, so there must’ve been some warding that was previously hiding him from our detection. We’ve seen that kind of thing before, although never quite to the same extent.”

“Twelve years ago was before I knew him,” Julia admitted. “I’m not sure I even know where he was living or what he was doing twelve years ago.”

“Forgive me changing the topic, but are his parents still alive? Or any siblings, aunts, uncles?”

“He was an only child, and his parents passed away before I knew him — I think he was an adult at the time, but barely, so… that would’ve been thirteen, fourteen years ago, maybe? He never told me how they died and I never pressed him, so — wait a second, you’re the Grim Reaper. Shouldn’t you know exactly who’s dead and who isn’t?”

“I really should,” Kravitz agreed, “and that’s the problem, actually. I can’t find any relatives of Magnus in the registry of deceased souls — no parents, no grandparents, no cousins…”

“You only found people who were Magnus’s family by marriage,” Julia realized out loud. “That’s why you came to talk to me.”

Kravitz nodded. “Exactly — but it gets even weirder. Magnus’s fellow adventuring buddies and apparent death criminals are an elf named Taako and a dwarf named Merle, whom I don’t suppose you know —”

Julia gasped, not in recognition, but in dawning realization. “Don’t tell me you can’t find their families, either.”

“All I found for Merle were some fourth cousins, and equally distant relatives. I couldn’t find anything about Taako.”

“The plot sure has thickened, huh?” Julia muttered. “You’re right that I don’t know Merle or Taako, they must’ve been… you know, after my time. But I can swear to you, if this is some kind of — some kind of necromantic conspiracy, then Magnus is the victim, not the one behind it. He could not and would not plan something like this for years while keeping it a secret all this time. He wouldn’t have hid it from me or from Steven —”

“I believe you,” Kravitz told her, “and I believe Magnus, when he says he genuinely doesn’t know how he died nineteen times. But because I believe you, and because I think you’re right on the mark with regards to a necromantic conspiracy, I have one last question: have you ever heard the names Lup or Barry Bluejeans?”

Julia snorted quietly at the latter name, but shook her head. “No. Are they… necromantic conspiracy suspects?”

“You could say that. More specifically, they’re liches whom we first detected around the same time as Magnus. At the time, I assumed it was a coincidence, but now… well, there a few different first impressions of Magnus and his adventuring buddies that I’m reevaluating.”

“Tell me about it. That man contains multitudes.” Julia leaned back in her rocking chair. “If there’s anything else I can do to help exonerate Maggie — any questions or testimony you need — I’m sure you’ll be able to find me here for a long, long time, but… can I ask something of you, if it’s alright?”

“Depends. What is it?”

“Can you help me send a letter?”

***

For the first few hundred feet of the race, Noelle kept up with Taako via her rocket boosters, but then opted to save her fuel, and Garyl surged ahead towards the mountains.

“Eat my dust!” Garyl whinnied. “I’m gonna find those oatssss!”

“Liches, Garyl. We’re looking for liches,” Taako reminded him.

“Yeah, but liches always have some loose spectral oats in their robe pockets!” Garyl scaled the foothills with ease, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. “Sometimes they even give me spectral sugar cubes! Why dontcha ever hang out with liches anymore?”

Taako yanked on the reins. “Excuse me?”

“You haven’t given me sugar cubes in decades,” Garyl moaned as they came to a halt. “Or even spectral carrots.”

Taako dismounted, turning away from the face of the mountain to look at Garyl in his iridescent rainbow eyes. “You gonna elaborate ‘bout me allegedly hanging out with liches, pal?”

“What is there to elaborate about? You used to hang with liches, and then you just —” Suddenly, Garyl’s eyes went wide. “Look out! Above you!”

Taako dismissed Garyl with a wave of his hand, and the binicorn disappeared in a flash of rainbow smoke. “Yeah, no, I’m not buying that. You’re just pulling my leg again —”

He turned around slowly and casually, not expecting to see anything out of the ordinary — only to find himself facing a crumbling mountainside, dozens of massive boulders already rolling on a trajectory straight towards him.

He instinctively raised his Umbra Staff, only to freeze up, no idea what spell he could cast in time to save himself — but then something in his peripheral vision flashed red, and not a full second later, he was standing atop a distant hill, a hundred meters away from the site of the rockslide.

“Are you okay?” a voice behind him rasped. “I didn’t mean to startle you — I know you probably had it under control, but I — I just panicked. Sorry.”

Taako turned around to face a familiar red-robed specter, two vaguely eye-shaped lights under his hood looking Taako over.

“You know, I was actually pretty un-startled until you popped up behind me and started rasping in my ear! Let an elf have his personal space, Barold!”

“What?” The lights beneath Barry’s hood froze in place, as did every thread of his robe, paralyzed in spite of the gentle breeze. The rasp in his voice dissipated as he went on: “Taako, how much do you remember?!”

Taako blinked. “Remember?”

“Talk to me, Taako! Please!” Barry grabbed Taako by the shoulders, incorporeal hands trembling. “Do you remember your sister? Do you remember Lup?”

“Ugh, that sound! Why do you have to do that right in my face?” Taako shrugged off Barry’s barely-tangible grip, clapping his hands over his ears.

“You heard static?” Barry gasped. “Oh, no. No. I thought —”

“You bet I just heard the worst five seconds of ASMR ever! What do you want from me, man? All I know about Lup is that she’s a lich like you, ‘cause that’s all Kravitz could tell me —”

“Kravitz told you about us?!”

“Yeah, he did! Told me you two were his most elusive bounties, and that I could never let my guard down around you!” Taako reached into the quiver slung over his shoulder, pulling out a sapphire arrow. “And I think it’s about time I gave him a heads up that you’re hanging out right here, soul ready for reaping —”

“Do NOT summon Kravitz!” Just seconds before Taako plunged the arrow into the ground, Barry tore it out of his hand and hurled it through a rift. “Why the fuck would you summon Kravitz?!”

Taako’s grip tightened on his Umbra Staff, and Barry recoiled. The lights under his hood looked like they were melting, shedding glowing droplets that cascaded down some semblance of a face within the void.

“Taako, please,” Barry pleaded. “I’m not your enemy, and — and Lup isn’t either, I swear! She wouldn’t want this!”

Taako raised the Umbra Staff to cast, but no spell fired from the umbrella as it shuddered in his hand.

“You can’t listen to what Kravitz tells you — he doesn’t know why we became liches! He doesn’t know about the Hunger!” Barry’s robe was fraying before Taako’s eyes, crimson threads unraveling at the edges of his sleeves. “What if — what if he thinks you’ve cheated death? What if he sends you to the Eternal Stockade?! Taako, I’m begging you, I — I — I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too!”

Taako cast again, and the Umbra Staff still refused to fire, the beginnings of a spell entering his arcane focus on one end but never leaving it on the other. As Barry drifted closer, sparks jumping between stray red threads and face a mess of swirling light and shadow, Taako turned to his last resort — stalling for time.

“You know, Kravitz was thinking real hard about sending me to ghost jail the other day, but I convinced him not to. Don’t you want to hear my side of the story?”

Barry froze, the unraveling of his robe momentarily halted. “In the Miller lab? What happened?!”

“We made a deal. He was going to arrest me, Magnus, Merle, Lucas, and Noelle — but I got an idea he liked better. I asked if he’d let us go free if we captured another bounty or two for him — so he gave us two months to capture you and Lup.” Taako shrugged, so focused on trying not to panic that he hardly noticed the sound of electricity crackling and fabric tearing. “So if you just turn yourself in, then at least you’ll only have to worry about me half as much.”

Barry convulsed as a jagged gash tore through his robe from shoulder to waist, an intangible darkness spilling out from within him and pooling on the ground below.

“LUP!” he shouted, voice echoing between mountains and through underground lairs for miles and miles. “They — they signed their own death warrant, Lup! I — I can’t do this without them, I can’t do this without you — where ARE YOU?!”

“Taako! There you are!”

Magnus sprinted onto the scene, Merle and Noelle hot on his heels. He thrust himself between Barry and Taako, then pulled a sapphire arrow from his own belt, jabbing it into the shadow-covered ground at Barry’s feet. “Kravitz, we’ve got a bounty for you!”

The lights beneath Barry’s hood coalesced back into two flickering eyes that immediately fixated on the arrow, which was already engulfed in a crackling blue aura.

“Boys, I promise I’m going to fix this,” he rasped, and then vanished into thin air.

“Wait, come back!” Merle called out, rushing towards the spot where Barry had been floating. “I didn’t even get a chance to talk to you —”

Taako yelped as his Umbra Staff inverted, and the arrow flew through the air towards its maw — but milliseconds before the umbrella snapped shut around it, Kravitz manifested in a puff of smoke, already dual-wielding sapphire scythes.

“Did you find Barry? Where is he?”

“He got away, I think,” Magnus sighed. “I probably shouldn’t have summoned you where he could see, but I rushed in because I was so worried about him hurting Taako —”

Noelle floated around Taako in tight circles, scanning him from all angles. “It doesn’t look he hurt you, but… I’m getting some traces of conjuration magic? Did you have a wizard’s duel or something?”

“Oh, god no. I probably wouldn’t be alive if we had,” Taako admitted. His heart was still pounding, but he tried not to let it show. “Conjuration magic, though… let’s see. That would probably be from when he — when he teleported me away from the mountain, after those rocks started falling.”

“Those rocks?” Noelle gestured towards the massive pile of rubble at the foot of the nearest mountain. “Those look like they could’ve killed you!”

“I know, right?” Taako replied. “Very uncharacteristically benevolent of him to show up when he did.”

“As great as it is that you’re not dead, Taako, it was also very convenient of him to show up when he did,” Kravitz paced across the hilltop, scythes crossed in front of him like the world’s most dangerous dowsing rods. “I can’t sense his presence anymore, meaning he’s squirreled himself away in some sort of warded hideout… but if he appeared out in the open here only shortly after you did, then that hideout of his must be nearby.”

He turned away from Taako, facing the mountains. “Which means he’s still nearby.”

Taako felt his hand grow warm, and looked down to see his Umbra Staff, energized from the absorption of the arrow… and pointing directly at Kravitz’s back.

“Let’s search the area.” Kravitz continued. “Leave no stone unturned —”

Taako pointed the Umbra Staff towards the sky — not a moment too soon. A beam of white-hot plasma pierced the clouds above and bathed the entire mountain range in daylight for a fleeting moment, before it fizzled out with a crackle of electricity and a whiff of ozone.

Kravitz whirled around. “Taako?!”

“I didn’t cast that spell! I don’t know how to cast that kind of spell!” Taako gasped. “My umbrella’s been acting up all night, but I didn’t know it could act up like this!”

Kravitz sighed and placed a hand on Taako’s shoulder.

“You know, on second thought,” he said, “maybe we should postpone the lich hunting until you get that thing checked out.”

***

Merle made a beeline for his bed the second the gang returned to the moonbase, while Taako took it upon himself to relay the night’s events to Angus as a bedtime story, and hopefully ensure that the kid actually got some sleep. Noelle had opted to stay planetside for a little longer and fly back up to the moon on her own later, explaining that she needed some time alone to process what had happened in Phandalin, and that left Magnus and Kravitz alone in the common room between the Reclaimers’ individual dorms.

“There’s no way Angus will relax enough to fall asleep in the next week if he hears about what happened tonight,” Magnus sighed, collapsing onto the couch. “Either Taako lies and says nothing happened, or he uses a sleep spell on a ten year old. You wanna make a bet on which?”

“I’ll pass. But you just reminded me, I actually have something for you.” Kravitz rifled through the interior pockets of his vest, pulling out a piece of shimmering blue paper. Although folded over on itself several times, it still felt almost intangibly thin, like parchment woven from cobwebs or even air itself.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “That better not be magical junk mail.”

Kravitz smiled, slowly shaking his head. “I spoke with someone in the Astral Plane today who had a lot of good things to say about you,” he explained. “She’s waiting to see you again, but hopes that day won’t come too soon, and… well, I haven’t read her letter, but I’m sure it speaks for itself.”

Magnus accepted the paper gingerly, eyes tearing up as he unfolded it to reveal Julia’s handwriting.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Kravitz plucked a raven feather from his robe, transmuting it into a quill pen with a snap of his fingers before handing it to Magnus. “I don’t allow this kind of thing every day, so don’t go around telling too many people about it — but you can use this pen to write a response on the back. Fold it up again once you’re done, and it’ll make its way back to her.”

Magnus leapt up from the couch to crush Kravitz in a hug that would’ve knocked the air out of his lungs, had he still been alive and breathing.

“Thank you,” Magnus repeated. “Thank you —”

Taako barged into the room, Umbra Staff slung over his shoulder. “You wanna guess what ‘cha boi had to do to get the kid to go to sleep? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t — okay, what am I interrupting here?”

A joke no doubt on the tip of his tongue, he froze as he noticed the tears running down Magnus’s face. “You okay there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” Magnus let go of Kravitz, wiping his eyes and picking up the pen and letter again. “I — I’ll be in my room. I need some time to… I just need some time.”

Taako nodded. “Don’t forget to get some sleep yourself. Apparently you humans need, like, eight hours of it, go figure.”

“He’ll be alright,” Kravitz whispered to Taako, as Magnus closed the door to his room. “He just got a letter from someone he hadn’t heard from in a while.”

“‘Course he’ll be alright. He’s Magnus, he’s indestructible,” Taako replied, but Kravitz could hear the relief in his voice. “And in case you were wondering, the way to get Angus to fall asleep is to read him a detective story, but only as a distraction while you’re preparing a Sleep spell.”

Kravitz chuckled. “You know, speaking of distracting — what’s with that flashing Chug ‘N Squeeze sign on the moon campus? I don’t think it was there when I visited you the other day.”

“Oh, that? I think it’s some kinda wine and pottery place — why, you wanna check it out? ‘Cause it’s supposed to open in a day or two, or so says all the hottest moon gossip.”

“Well, I mostly just asked out of morbid curiosity, but it does sound like something I could enjoy ironically — and maybe even unironically, as a break from all this lich hunting and detective work. Do you want to check it out with me?”

“Oh, a wine and clay vacation day with the Grim Reaper? That’s a hell yeah from Taako!”

***

The second Barry returned to his cave, he bolted straight for an unassuming chest beneath a pile of discarded scrolls and tattered jeans. Though it only occupied about two cubic feet, it was warded against everything from fire to water to acid, and sealed with an arcane lock — which Barry dismissed by uttering the passcode, emergency bonds.

From inside, he retrieved a handful of trinkets — a driftwood necklace from Merle, a wand that Magnus had once unsuccessfully tried to summon a dog familiar with, and most important of all, a dozen different wedding rings, all hewn from different materials and given in different ceremonies on entirely different worlds. Barry picked up the envelope beneath them and then gingerly placed them back in the chest, opening the envelope to look through the pictures it contained.

The shadowy essence of his lich form had stopped leaking out of his robe the second he’d opened the chest and been comforted with the wave of nostalgia, but he felt his soul stabilize even further as he pulled out the first picture. It was a candid shot of him, Lup, and Taako in the Starblaster’s lab, buried up to their elbows in notes as they studied the Light of Creation, which the camera had only been able to capture as a vague white blur. The three of them all had bags under their eyes, but they were still smiling. They’d been so determined to develop a new theory, to find the answers that would save them and their family.

And there was no reason for Barry to abandon that determination or give up on that goal now.

For the next four hours, he scrawled calculations on almost every blank scrap of paper he had at his disposal, comparing research he’s done half a century ago with papers he’d read on cycles even further back. He unfurled no less than five individual maps of Faerun, circling promising locations before changing his mind and scratching out all but a few that he’d personally visited in the past.

By the time his plan was complete, almost all of the rips in his robe had mended themselves — though he still looked unsettlingly threadbare, and he trembled slightly even while floating in one place.

How long did Taako say they have? Two months, as of the crystal incident? There’s no need to panic — I’ve got time. I just need to play this smart.

He extended his senses outside of his lair, scanning the surrounding area for Kravitz or another emissary of the Raven Queen — and there was indeed an undead presence lurking near Phandalin, but unlike Kravitz, it lacked even the faintest trace of celestial energy. Even stranger, its aura seemed shielded, but less so than a lich possessing a living body would’ve been… as if the soul was inhabiting an inorganic body, instead.

The robot no doubt sensed him approaching, but gave no sign of signalling for help, which made Barry feel much better about his decision to venture out of the safety of his cave.

“Mister Bluejeans? That you?” she asked, and the sound of her voice was all it took for Barry to connect a series of dots that couldn’t have been further from his mind just a few moments ago.

“I know you. You were in the Cosmoscope — and before that, you were in Phandalin. You were a halfling.”

“That’s right. I’m Noelle — Noelle Redcheeck. I’m surprised you remembered me.”

“I’m surprised you’re not furious with me,” Barry whispered. “I couldn’t save you, or anyone else in Phandalin — I’m so sorry, Noelle. Maybe, maybe, if I’d been in my lich form, I could’ve —”

“You tried your best,” Noelle assured him, “just like the Reclaimers. Really, the only person I should blame is whoever made that terrifying gauntlet in the first place —”

“No,” Barry interrupted. “I knew her, and I knew how implausible this will sound, but she didn’t want this. She tried her best to stop it, too.”

Noelle took a moment to reply. “It sounds like you know a lot of things that the Bureau doesn’t.”

Barry nodded. “Speaking of which… I really shouldn’t stay out here in one place for much longer, or someone will sense me, be it the Bureau or Kravitz. Do you mind if we take this conversation somewhere else?”

“Just lead the way.”

They headed not to Barry’s main hideout, but to a slightly nearer cave that he used mainly for storage but had placed equally powerful wards over. Abjuration had never been his specialty, but his ability to pick it up on the fly had been invaluable during his time as a rogue lich — and now, he thought, my abjuring might be the one thing that saves my family’s lives. Funny how that works out.

“So, Noelle,” he asked out loud, “I saw you with Magnus and Merle earlier. Do they know you’re still down here?”

“I told them I wanted to stick around Phandalin for a while and think about what happened,” Noelle explained. “Which, come to think of it, wasn’t a total lie — because I did want to talk to you about Phandalin, and I guess I got that chance after all. But I’m also here because I promised my detective friend that I’d ask you something.”

“Assuming your friend’s alive, then they probably won’t even be able to comprehend the whole answer — but fire away, and I’ll tell you what I can.”

“Did the Voidfish erase the fact that you were a lich?”

“Getting right to the root of the problem, huh?” Barry paused. “Hmm. Let me put it this way — the Voidfish erased all memories that could make me believe I was a lich. Whenever I’m alive, whenever I’m amnesiac, the idea that I could be a lich or even a necromancer just sounds like a joke. I’ve tried leaving messages to remind myself of that fact, after coming back to life — but my living self never believed it.”

“It sounded like a joke to Magnus and the others, too.”

Barry sighed. “That’s ‘cause they’ve lost a lot of memories of their own.”

“But… they’re innoculated. How is that possible?”

“Noelle, we’re well past the point where I need to warn you about keeping this conversation a secret from the Bureau, right? And… probably from your detective friend, too, assuming they work for the Director?”

“Yeah,” Noelle sighed. “Angus will be disappointed, but I understand.”

“There’s a second Voidfish,” Barry explained. “It’s very well guarded, and only the Director’s been innoculated by it — so she’s used it to erase all kinds of information, from the Reclaimers’ pasts to… a coming storm, which this world is unlikely to survive.”

“This storm… will it be worse than the Grand Relics? Worse than what happened to Phandalin?”

“It’ll be not just worse, but maybe even infinitely worse. Because it’ll go on to destroy worlds beyond this one, if we let it.”

Barry had forgotten what it felt like to speak so freely about his past and the Hunger, to speak without worrying that his words would be distorted by static, and more and more information just poured out, far more than he’d initially intended to share.

“There is an entity called the Hunger that seeks to consume all of existence, and it’s only a matter of months until it begins its assault on this planar system. The Director and the Reclaimers and I, we were all like family, and we worked together in search of a way to destroy this Hunger, but… we had some disagreements. And really, neither side was right, but Lucretia — Lucretia used the Voidfish to erase our whole mission, the Hunger included. I became a lich to protect my family from the Hunger, so… when I’m alive, I don’t have any memory of being undead. And my family doesn’t have any memories of me… aside from that time in Phandalin when I got Merle to stab himself with a fork, I guess, which probably didn’t leave a great impression.” He managed a bitter laugh.

“How long ago did they forget?”

“Almost ten years ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

It dawned on Barry that he was having most sincere, two-sided conversation he’d experienced in a decade — and ironically, the realization left him at a loss for words.

The same couldn’t be said of Noelle, who continued on without hesitation. “I promised my friend Angus not just that I’d get answers, but also that I’d look out for the Reclaimers. I don’t want the Grim Reaper, or the apocalypse, or whatever’s coming to hurt them — or anyone else in this world, like Angus, or Carey and Killian, or my family in Hogsbottom — so please, Mister Bluejeans, tell me what I can do to help. I want to do something with this extra time the Reclaimers gave me.”

“If you get caught helping me,” Barry warned her, “you’ll be imprisoned one way or another — either on the moonbase, or in the Eternal Stockade, depending on who catches you.”

“Well first of all, it sounds like at the rate I’m going, I’m gonna end up either back in the Astral Plane, or consumed by this Hunger entity in a matter of months if I don’t do anything to help you,” Noelle replied. “And second of all, I’m not plannin’ to just give up and let them arrest me if I do get caught.” She cocked her arm cannon.

Maybe it was risky to accept help from someone he barely knew, but Noelle had seemed nothing but sincere — and Barry had spent so long working alone that frankly, he was amazed it hadn’t killed him yet. He was a creature of bonds and of love; he sought out companionship by both nature and necessity. He didn’t know if he could do this alone, but alongside another undead soul who could actually understand and help, he knew for a fact that he could.

“Welcome aboard, Noelle.” Barry chuckled. “First things first: I’ve tried to stay out of the Raven Queen and her servants’ ways, because they’re really not evil at all, but if there’s any chance of stopping the Hunger, then we’ll need Taako and the others’ help for sure. Which means we’re going to have to do something about the Grim Reaper situation —”

“You know, I might have something to help with that.” A drawer Noelle’s main body slid open, revealing a sapphire-tipped arrow. “Magnus figured we should all have some summoning beacons on our person, in case of emergency.” She winked. “But I was thinkin’ we could use it to lure him into some kinda sinister trap.”

She paused. “He can’t eavesdrop on us through this thing, can he?”

“Not if we don’t say his name. But I’d close that drawer for now, just to be on the safe side.” Barry said as he summoned a scroll and pen, then started jotting down notes. “This is all perfect, though! I already hashed out the spell theory for a plan, but you just made it about a billion times easier to pull off — not just because of the arrow, but because you can gather components, and I won’t have to risk him sensing my location and realizing what I’m up to!”

“Makes sense,” Noelle replied, looking over Barry’s list. “That’s all you need me to get?”

“Yeah. I was thinking most of it would be salvageable from the Miller Lab — uh, except maybe the iron filings, which are commercially available anyway.”

Noelle beamed. “I won’t let you down, Mister Bluejeans.”

“Thank you, Noelle.” Barry looked down at his robe, which looked less tattered and more vibrantly red than he’d seen it in years. “For everything.”

***

End notes:

Apologies in advance if the update schedule gets a bit less consistent from here on out, since I’ve burned through my pre-written buffer chapters, but I’ve at least got a solid chunk of Chapter 6 written and a detailed outline for the chapters after that! It’s just about getting into the write headspace to write.

as usual, comments/reblogs mean a lot!

#taz #taz balance #taako taaco #kravitz taz #taakitz #barry bluejeans #no-3113 #angus mcdonald #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #julia burnsides #lup taaco #fic: FTRALA #rosalia talks #taz balance spoilers

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moneypedia · 3 years

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How to Defend Against False Accusations: A Personal Defense and 5 Guidelines to Protect The Truth

August 5, 2018 By Drew Shepherd

[Note: This post contains details about an undiagnosed case of borderline personality disorder (BPD). These details are included for informational purposes only, not to spread hate towards people with the illness.

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with BPD, however, you may want to avoid this article.]

Guilty until proven innocent.

That’s the new norm these days.

Our current social climate has made it empowering to be a victim. And any abusers left standing must be exterminated—whether they’re guilty or not.

Please don’t think I’m downplaying the experience of actual victims though.

I know what it’s like to be among the lowest of society, and the struggle of real victims is part of the inspiration behind this site.

But the inconvenient truth is that all these “abusers” aren’t the monsters they’re made out to be.

Why do I say that you ask?

Because I’m one of them.

And this is my story.

The Accusation(s)

During my early twenties, I got involved with a girl who I later realized had borderline personality disorder (BPD).

I’ve already written about the experience and I’ve alluded to it multiple times since. So please read that article before this one if you haven’t already.

BPD is a serious mental illness, but most people have never heard of it, let alone know how to diagnose it.

If you’re not aware of how people with the disorder act, this post will come off as a rant against an innocent girl who liked me—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

But to summarize, the most notable symptom of BPD is the inability to regulate emotions. It’s a symptom so powerful that a sufferer’s feelings can define his or her reality. And this is what leads to many false accusations.

Manipulation, emotional abuse, cheating, promiscuity—she publicly accused me of all them.

It’s part of the process of “painting someone black.” The BPD person goes through cycles of both extreme love and hate for their loved one, but once the relationship ends, the other party is permanently devalued.

Of course this treatment is reserved for those in close relationships with the BPD sufferer. Outsiders will only see a victim pleading her case.

I’ve stayed quiet on these accusations so far since most of them don’t have any substance, but I unfortunately made one mistake that appears to give her claims some validity.

So I’m sure that she already has, or eventually will use this evidence against me. And if her false accusations were to gain traction, they would not only destroy my reputation, but also the legitimacy of the message I present on this site.

The latter is my primary reason for defense.

I’ve always said that the Bible is the basis for my moral judgment, and that couldn’t be more important than in sexual matters.

Now do I always control my lustful impulses and thoughts?

And do I always prevent myself from viewing images I shouldn’t see?

No.

I’m a Christian but I’m still a sinful human being. Controlling lust is part of the lifelong battle against sin in the Christian life.

But when it comes to things like fornication and adultery, I’ve held true to my stance on abstinence.

And as tough as it is to be a twenty-something with this stance in our sex-saturated world, it’s beyond frustrating to be accused of doing the complete opposite.

I’m an ambassador for what I believe. And I can’t allow anything on this site—faith-related or not—to be diminished because of one person’s claims.

So I’ll go into detail here about what really happened, and then I’ll show you how to defend against false accusations once and for all.

Drew “The Player”

I’ll preface my story with a little background information.

I was going into my last semester in college, and it had been about a year since I saw my accuser in person.

Things didn’t end well between me and her the last time we were “together.” But I was admittedly still interested in her—even with all the red flags.

It appeared that both of us were sad with the way the first go ‘round ended. So I foolishly tried to work something out with her before the semester started.

To my surprise, I was ignored and indirectly shot down.

How a normal girl would’ve reacted

It hurt pretty bad after putting myself out there for someone I thought still cared. But rejection is a part of life, so I moved on.

What’s crazy though, is that she changed her mind at some point afterwards. And even though I never got a direct response from her, she apparently assumed we were in a quasi-relationship.

Now fast forward to February.

It was the week of Valentine’s Day. And while I did still think of her, I wasn’t sending a Valentine’s Day anything to a girl who I didn’t trust, who now lived in a different state, and who couldn’t even respond to my direct communication.

The only reason I entertained the thought of us getting back together—if we were ever truly together in the first place—was because she hoovered me back in.

Hoovering is a term that describes actions similar to what its namesake, the Hoover vacuum does.

It’s a tactic people with personality disorders subconsciously use to suck loved ones back in after a failed relationship.

In this case, she used one of the social media apps we both had to convince me that she was open to a renewed relationship, and that she had changed for the better.

But at this point, I was just focused on schoolwork because I had no clue what this girl was thinking.

I had a senior project for an external company that took most of my time that semester.

My project group and I met just about every weekday. And at the time, we were all trying to meet a deadline coming up the next week.

The day after Valentine’s Day, one of my teammates mentioned that we should go play trivia at a local bar. But being the introverted party-pooper I am, I declined.

My schedule involved waking at around 5:30 each day. My teammates were always out too late for my liking, and I knew I’d never make it back in time to get enough sleep if I went.

So I gave the whole, “Thanks, but no thanks” spiel even though I knew they wouldn’t let me off that easy.

Our team was a pretty tight group—especially for four people who were assigned to each other at random.

We had a ton of inside jokes by the end of the semester. And they were the first to tease me at graduation because my honor stole nearly fell as I walked across the stage.

So naturally, they all had a good laugh at me for not wanting to miss my bedtime.

Of course it was all playful fun though. I did get back at them numerous times over the semester, but I’ll admit that I have an off-kilter personality that lends itself to being teased.

So anyway, we went our separate ways and I headed to bed.

The next day, I saw an email from the night before saying that I was invited to a school-specific social app. I didn’t see the email until the early morning though because I went to bed early.

I had never heard of the app before and I was skeptical. So my first thought after waking and reading the email was, “What the heck is (app name here)?”

My second thought was, “Who’s the funny guy who sent this?”

Now I knew it was someone who previously had my email address.

Of course any student could have pulled that info from the school’s directory, but I doubt anyone would have gone through the trouble of searching their class roster, finding me, and then using my email address for the sake of hitting me up on an app.

So it had to be someone with whom I worked with closely or had a personal relationship with.

With these facts in mind, I falsely concluded that it was a prank from my teammate that the rest of the group was in on.

They had just gone out together the night before. And they always found a way to mess with me—even when I wasn’t around.

So just like any other time I felt I was being pranked, manipulated, or taken advantage of, I played along with the hope that the other party wouldn’t realize until it was too late (and this has been my M.O. since I was a kid).

But doing this, in hindsight, was a terrible idea.

Any form of participation on what I later realized was a hookup app would paint me in a bad light. And the consequences of my actions weren’t as clear at 5:30 in the morning.

After I made a quick profile—complete with pictures no man would ever use if he was truly seeking casual sex—I waited about 15 minutes for a response that never came.

Then after realizing how bad my actions could appear without context, I quickly deleted the app and went on with my day.

I’m not sure if I completely wiped the profile I created. But since the app was lesser-known and low key about its hookup aspect—it’s not like I signed on to Tinder—I figured this wouldn’t be a problem.

Outside of my own actions with the invite and the app though, I don’t know anything else. But there’s a chance that a troll profile made 10 minutes after I woke could end up biting me. And that’s why I’ve chosen to address it.

Now, I’m almost certain this invite was from my accuser. And I still kick myself for not recognizing the true source of the bait.

My actions gave her the apparent confirmation that I was “playing the field.” And within the week, she either started, or just made it obvious that she was sleeping with another guy to spite me—a wild and disproportionate response to the thought that your S.O. may be seeing someone else.

So once I confirmed that this actually happened, I ghosted her and all her drama, focused on my schoolwork (which led to my first 4.0), and then went along with my life.

People with BPD are notorious for doing stuff like this. It’s the reason why a popular book covering the illness is called Stop Walking On Eggshells (affiliate link):

They’ll cry about a lack of communication but then ignore you when you reach out to them.

They’ll go on about how lonely they are while sleeping with one of their (or even your) “friends” behind your back.

They’ll say you’re too stupid to complete a task but discredit you when you do it, and then raise the bar higher so you won’t reach the new mark.

After a while you won’t know what to do because she’ll never be satisfied. And everyone else will chalk it up to you not knowing how to treat a woman.

No-win situations and constant testing are common to those in relationships with these people—especially in regards to anything sexual. So I presume the invite was a test to see if I was some dirtbag who would cheat on his partner.

Now I’d hesitate to call it cheating either way since she ignored my attempts to directly communicate, and I had no idea what our relationship status was.

But the other “fact” she gathered was that I was a player who enjoyed casual sex (an assumption that would have driven a younger me mad with laughter).

Look, I understand that I don’t have a squeaky-clean Christian boy appearance—going through trials doesn’t purify the outside after all.

But that doesn’t mean I partake in the same activities those who look like me may be into. And it for sure doesn’t mean that my moral character is anything different than what I present on this site.

Of course it doesn’t help that I’m black either…but I won’t go down that road.

I should also note that I don’t have a personal Facebook or Instagram account. So it’s tough for others to know much about my life unless they read this site or talk to me or my loved ones personally.

This blank space makes me an easy target for accusations since I can be unknowingly attacked through mediums where I can’t defend myself. And there are no videos of me playing with my dog to fill the holes left by my “shady” lifestyle.

Usually this isn’t a problem as most of the people I meet don’t care about my online presence. But of course there’s always one person who assumes the worst case scenario. And it’s sad that in my case, this person was someone I genuinely liked before.

These obsessive behaviors were nothing new though:

This same girl cried sobbed in the middle of one of our classes—when we were both in our twenties mind you—because I didn’t initially return her interest.

She would go from spaced-out to depressed and then stare at me like it was my fault.

She even accused me of cheating after seeing a pic my mom took of me when I was at dinner with my family.

So you can imagine the relief I felt when I closed the door on that for good.

At this point, the only ones who still believe her lies—or to be fair to the illness she has, her reality—are people I’ve never met.

But I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just annoyed that my life is still negatively affected because I fell for the wrong girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the honest truth.

How to Craft Your Defense

So now that my story’s out of the way, how do you fight your own false accusations?

It’s not too difficult.

Just follow these 5 guidelines to protect yourself in both the present, and the future:

1) Remember the Alibi

As tempting as it is to piece together a story that makes you look like a saint, you have to ensure the truth you present is actually…well, true.

Since I couldn’t remember all this off the top of my head, I dug through my old emails and group conversations to get the timeline right. And I could always use them again if legal action was involved.

It also helps that I have an archive of posts here that clearly present my personality and the mistakes I’ve made.

You can even compare this post to the one I wrote on BPD earlier and you’ll see numerous similarities. If anyone thought I was lying, they could search the other 40+ posts here too to see that the story adds up.

But if you don’t have thousands of words as supporting evidence, just take your time, breathe, and write down what happened as best as you remember.

False accusations can cloud your memory when you first hear them, and your emotions will push for a raw defense. But if you start writing what you remember, you can put that passion to good use now, and update your writing later with more facts.

A story set in writing will be a great resource to have. You don’t want to lean on your memory or your speech when the pressure’s on.

If you write down what happened, you’ll also find other bits of evidence you’ll need to prepare your defense. And if your audience is really concerned with the truth, they’ll take all the info they can get.

2) Compare the Fruit

Perhaps the easiest way to expose the shakiness of false accusations is to note the shakiness of the accuser’s lifestyle.

This is by far my least favorite technique though since it appears to be an attack on character instead of the accusation itself. But understand that those two targets aren’t mutually exclusive.

A person who usually acts one way is almost certain to do it again.

And no, that fact isn’t judgmental. It’s simple probability.

This is going to sound like I’m bragging about my accomplishments and attacking her character, but let’s compare some notable points about my life and my accuser’s:

I improved to at least a 3.5 GPA in my last four college semesters within a STEM major. But I’ll admit my accuser was booksmart, so we’re pretty much even there.

I have never gotten blacked-out drunk (or even consumed alcohol). I have never taken an illegal substance. And I have never lived a promiscuous lifestyle. My accuser has done, and probably still does, all three.

I landed a stable job in my field more than a month before I graduated, and I’m still employed there today. My accuser barely held a job as a bar server about a year after graduating with the same degree.

Again, I don’t like expressing my achievements, and I never want to attack anyone’s character. We all make mistakes, and I made one of the biggest mistakes any student ever will (which she contributed to by the way).

But when someone’s lifestyle displays a clear pattern of incompetence, recklessness, and mental instability, the validity of their claims also takes a hit.

And that’s without mentioning that I’ve written the equivalent of a book here at HFE—a site where I cover my own shortcomings just as much, if not more than my accomplishments—on my own time and dollar because I believe it will help others.

So knowing all this, let me ask you, who do you think is telling the truth?

A tree’s fruit always gives it away.

Know who you are and know who you’re dealing with so any other lies are dismissed as the jokes they are.

3) Change “I” to “We”

The most unfortunate thing about false accusations is that no one’s waiting to hear a verdict.

As soon as those words leave your accuser’s mouth, you will be facing much more than one person.

Friends, family, social circles, even whole communities may turn against you.

And what began as a defense against one liar becomes a battle against an entire army.

So what do you do when this multitude of warriors stands against you?

It’s simple.

You gather the troops.

Find people who can vouch for your story. Get help from friends who aren’t blinded by the lies. Ask people who were neutral bystanders to explain what happened since they’re not biased.

I know I can get anyone from former classmates, friends, and family members to acknowledge the truth of my claims.

And since I know the mental issues my accuser deals with, I can also refer to a psychologist or another mental health resource.

An understanding of my accuser’s mind is one of the best counters to her claims. Yes, she acts in unstable ways, but they’re predictably unstable, and numerous people have experience with the problem I have now.

You shouldn’t be afraid to get professional help either.

Lawyer up if it’s serious enough.

Slander and libel are legit crimes. And if you can prove that your life is heavily impacted, especially financially, you may have a case.

So don’t go at this alone. You can bet your accuser isn’t.

4) Go One and Done

The biggest mistake people make when presenting any argument, defense, or reasoning is that they over-explain themselves.

Sure, you want to be as thorough as possible in your explanation, and you should reference points of that original argument to answer questions. But there’s no need to add to your stance or sate a mind that will never believe you.

If you’ve taken the necessary steps to present and defend the truth, you have to live with the results.

Learn to be comfortable with the fact that everyone won’t like, listen to, or believe you. Because the more you add to your original defense, the weaker it will appear.

You’ll also introduce more room for error. And it would be a shame for a memory lapse to cause an otherwise solid defense to fail.

Remember that it’s only your job to present the truth. Not to make others believe it.

I’m confident that my defense removes any ammo my accuser has left. So now the only claims she can bring against me are accusations of neglect—which don’t matter since I’m not her parent—or causing hurt feelings—which isn’t a crime in America yet.

I presented the truth one time, and now there’s no need to address her claims again.

Every accusation doesn’t deserve a response. So stay true to what really happened, and let people think what they want afterwards.

5) Don’t Even Fake It

These accusations have made me realize the importance of the Bible’s command to, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22 KJV)

It’s not enough to just avoid evil acts. You have to avoid situations where you could possibly do them too.

For instance, plenty articles on false accusations describe how to protect yourself against false rape claims. But if someone can accuse you of something like rape without an obvious fabrication, you are in over your head.

You can’t reach the point where a verdict is decided by a “yes” or “no.”

It’s one of the many reasons you shouldn’t sleep around in the first place. You are putting your life in the hands of someone who could easily change their mind in the morning. And you have to stay out of that gray area.

Remember to guard your character at all times. You never know when you’ll need to fall back on your integrity.

For example, I remember one conversation I had with a friend a few years back, and my accuser happened to be in the room.

My friend noticed that I received a few glances of interest from girls. So out of the blue he asked, “Drew, how many girls do you get?”

He chuckled while asking the question, so of course it wasn’t anything serious. He didn’t ask about anything explicitly sexual either.

So being the joker I am, I said something along the lines of, “I don’t know. I lost count.”

Then the both of us laughed it off.

But there’s a chance my accuser heard those words and immediately assumed the worst.

It would have been ridiculous to say something like:

“I’m sorry sir, but I am a Bible-believing man of God who has accepted the challenge to live righteously. How dare you imply that I live such a heinous lifestyle?!”

So I had a quick laugh and moved off the subject.

But even this could have added to her claims. So now I try not to even joke about stuff like that—at least not when I’m around people who barely know me.

You should do the same. But don’t limit your efforts to watching your tongue:

Always dress in a respectable manner.

Avoid the crazy nighttime venues—they’re magnets for people like my accuser.

And please don’t go to a hotel room belonging to a member of the opposite sex.

Presentation always matters.

Avoid the appearance of evil, and it’ll be impossible to even accuse you.

Grant Me That Chance

I’ve had enough headaches from my past relationship, and I’d rather not think about it anymore.

But it was important to defend myself here before any other false info leaked.

I hope none of it came across as too aggressive though. I wrote all of this to clear my name, not to get revenge.

From all I’ve seen, read, and now experienced, real victims don’t go out of their way to destroy their abuser’s life. They just want justice and a chance to finally move on.

So if anything else comes up about this, please remember this point and grant me that chance.

Contrary to what some people think, I don’t hate my accuser, and I hope she’s able to turn her life around.

If there was a normal version of her who didn’t have what she had, I’d love to meet her. But the ship has sailed on anything between me and the real her.

All I want now is peace and the freedom to live a good life. And I’m sure that’s all you want too.

So remember who you are, take a stand for the truth, and then defend it with your life.

And who knows? Someone else may come to your defense if you do.

-Drew

#truth

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windtempos · 3 years

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Old Name, New Face

“The ACA’s new poster boy is an army vet with the best bionics money can buy. He can smile and wave and throw a punch, but that’s it. I would not put it past him to be taking orders from someone with an agenda that both you and I won’t like.”

Adya Prisham spent the first eight years of her career as the face of cybernetics; but now that she’s putting field work on the backburner, the American Cybernetics Association brings in a new poster boy. Charlotte Caelius, a mercenary with several bones to pick at any moment, has finally found someone she despises more than Adya.

Waking up would’ve almost been peaceful if Reese didn’t burst through the door and yank Adya’s charging port from her neck. She jolts upright with wide eyes, almost throwing a fist out to the side and punching a hole in the drywall. That’d be a hell of a story to explain to the neighbors upstairs.

Adya lets her body relax and buries her face in her hands. “You are going to be the death of me,” she mutters. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Come downstairs, right now. You have to see this.” Reese responds. Her girlfriend glares at how awake she sounds at eight in the morning. Nevertheless, she stretches her metal joints and stumbles down into the living room. You couldn’t tune out the reporter on the TV if you tried-- Reese has the volume deafeningly loud, but Adya blames it on her ears still adjusting to the abrupt awakening. This better be good, Adya thinks.

A shot of an amphitheatre packed with people fades into a closeup of a young man in an army uniform waving to the crowd. He stands with square posture and even blows a kiss or two to the crowd. Adya looks at her hands, then his. She notices the suggestion of a seam on his skin, much less conspicuous than her own.

“The American Cybernetics Association has introduced their newest diplomat: A young, Texas native with a bright smile and a knack for being on center stage,” the reporter goes on. “Casper Sable qualified for the mind transfer program and had his conscience successfully uploaded to his bionic body seven years ago; since then, he’s served with the US Army on countless successful missions.”

Adya groans. “You woke me up for some military propaganda?” she asks.

“Keep listening,” says Reese.

The screen fades to Casper, now in a sleek uniform with a stiff, white collar, standing at the end of a long row of others dressed the same. He salutes the commander with a hand over his chest and a casual grin.

“It looks like Adya Prisham may have some competition,” the reporter jokes.

“For those of you new to the world of bionics, Adya Milana Prisham became the first human conscience in a bionic body almost a decade ago,” her cohost continues after a light chuckle. “She’s been serving as an agent for the Goddard Institute of Cybernetics in Los Angeles, but recently stepped back from field work. Whether or not it’s a permanent decision remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure, though: the ACA is eager to put a fresh, new face out into the field. And this time, the field isn’t just LA-- it’s the whole world.”

“Corporal Casper Sable is now Agent Casper Sable. With his newly recognized status, the Sovereign Agent Program has recruited him to be a diplomat and a protector for communities all across the world. Truly an honor, isn’t it?”

Adya slumps back against the couch with a furrowed brow. She makes one change to her work, and the ACA has the gall to sideline her. All for a pretty white boy in uniform. It’s almost laughable, but her fists ball in her lap.

“The people need someone new, and putting him on the international stage will put vigor in the world of cybernetics that hasn’t been seen since the days of Adya Prisham.”

“They’re talking about me like I’m dead!” she shouts.

Reese shoots up from the couch and paces to the kitchen, downing what’s left of a cup of coffee on the counter. Her metal hands slap against the granite. “You busted your ass to be here,” she spits. “To come to the US, to become an agent, to be a role model-- not a celebrity, a role model. And the moment you make one personal decision, they decide to throw you out for some… bootlicking country boy with a big ego!”

Adya slips an arm over her girlfriend’s shoulders, insisting that they relax. Only a little bit of the tension subsides.

“You and I have both met sovereign agents,” Reese continues. “They’re recruited to be international peacekeepers not because of what they do, but who they are. He didn’t earn that title; they gave it to him so that their pretty poster boy isn’t just some kid in uniform, driving around in a humvee.”

“Easy, babe,” Adya says with a gentle squeeze around her waist. “You don’t get to be more mad about this than I am. Trust me, I’m not gonna let anyone sideline me. Just because I’m not a field agent anymore doesn’t mean I don’t have a voice in the ACA.”

The front door flies open, crashing into the wall behind it. Reese instinctively dives in front of Adya and raises her fists. They don’t stay up for long when the blonde woman in front of her, motorcycle helmet tucked beneath her arm, meets her eyeline.

“You could’ve fucking knocked, Caelius!”

“Too early for a little breaking and entering? To each their own, I guess.” Caelius shrugs and tosses her keys and her helmet onto the counter. She shoves Reese out of the way and throws a gentle fist into Adya’s chest. “You better not just let this happen, Prisham. This kid is gonna give you and me a bad name, right when things were starting to mellow out for people with bionics. I almost don’t feel like a walking freak when I tell people what I am, but now, I’m just gonna feel like a pretentious asshole.”

“You are a pretentious asshole! You and I could not be more different. I’m not about to have this conversation with the mercenary who tried to kill me all those years ago.”

“I think you are. It’d be rude to throw out a guest, wouldn’t it?”

She turns to Reese, who now stands on top of the stairs. “You invited Caelius over?” Adya asks, a look of bewilderment passing over her face.

“You’re both mind transfers and you both hate this guy. If I know anything about either of you, it’s that you don’t like other people defining who you are. The enemy of your enemy is your friend.” She disappears into the bathroom, leaving Adya and Caelius to their own devices in the kitchen like two bulls in a pen. Adya swats her hand away and retires to the couch, still grimacing at a term like friend being in the same context as Caelius.

“Sable will want to meet you,” Caelius mentions. She reaches for the remote to mute the TV as the reporter continues babbling on about mind transfers. “Now that the news has branded him as your replacement, he’s gonna want to talk about it with you. What it means to be ‘the face of bionics’, or whatever it is he’s trying to do.”

She scoffs. “What, so I can pass him the baton? I’m not even on my victory lap yet. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“The ACA might not give you a choice.”

Adya rests her chin in her hand and does the mental gymnastics. “This how you saw me five years ago, isn’t it?” she asks. “Just some pretty face, putting the ACA on a pedestal and doing interviews for magazines. Now, I understand.”

Caelius nods. “I was also a wanted fugitive. And a criminal. And absolutely fucking pissed every minute of the day. That definitely amplified it. But I’m not paying you a visit to reflect on my past.”

“Wow. I gave you the opportunity to talk about how much you hated me, and you didn’t take it. You must really hate this guy.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Agent.” She produces a sly, charming smile that’s gone as fast as it appears. “Meet with this guy and propose that you two team up for a few weeks. Keep him in the US for as long as possible while I get some dirt on him and figure out what he’s up to.”

Adya folds into herself, head hanging between her knees. “Caelius, you are not going to sabotage this man’s career!” she yells.

“I don’t plan on it!” she responds. “I sure would like to, though. Sable is pouring gasoline on a fire that was already out of control. The ACA’s new poster boy is an army vet with the best bionics money can buy and a title he doesn’t deserve. But he has no conviction. No humility. He can smile and wave and throw a punch, but that’s it. I would not put it past him to be taking orders from someone with an agenda that both you and I won’t like.”

She almost sounds… intimidated by him. Just as much as his personality is laughable to her, there’s a sense of ambition to her words. A chill slips down Adya’s spine. Charlotte Caelius, the once ambivalent bounty hunter who wanted to reduce Adya to scrap metal for a quick profit, now worrying about someone’s lack of humility. She doesn’t doubt it for a second after her first impression of Casper Sable, but her eyes narrow. “How do you know that?”

“He was part of a sample group of a hundred volunteers being evaluated for the mind transfer program,” she explains. “Ten passed the test, but only two ended up going through with the procedure.”

“Him and who else?”

Caelius clasps her hands together, elbows leaning against the armchair in front of her.

“Me.”

#the operatives #sci fi #writing #ocs #one off #fiction #this one's meh but it was fun lol #very inspired by tfatws

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years

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HPHM Profile - Luca Fawley

This template was posted by @Hogwartsmysterystory and it looks pretty awesome. I might just go ahead and use it for the whole damn Fawley family. But let’s start with Luca. I’ll try to stay true to canon while still respecting the “Remembrance” timeline’s ideas.

(That eye color edit looks so bad omg)

Identity

Name: Luca Jude Fawley

Gender: A-Gendered.

Age: 17 as of Year 6.

Birth Date: December 26th, 1972

Species: (Human, Lycanthrope, Metamorphmagus, Vampire, etc) Human, Wizard.

Blood Status: Pureblood.

Sexuality: Panromantic, Asexual.

Alignment: Neutral Good.

Ethnicity: Biracial, half Scottish and half Iranian.

Nationality: British.

Residence: The Black Sand Apothecary, in a place called Dulcimer Beach.

Myer Briggs Personality Type: INFP.

The Mage

1st Wand:Hazel and Unicorn Hair, 10 1/4 Inches, Swishy. This wand was owned by Nina, Luca’s mother. It was given to them after Jacob’s disappearance rendered Nina unable to use her magic anymore. It was just before Luca went to Hogwarts, where they used Nina’s wand until it was broken by Rakepick.

2nd Wand:Cedar and Unicorn Hair, 11 3/4 Inches, Pliant. This wand was fashioned by Rowan before they came to Hogwarts, but it never “chose” them. It did choose Luca though, in fifth year, just in time for Luca to need another. Rowan could not be happier at this turn of events, and Luca feels as though it’s an honor they don’t deserve.

Animagus: Black Cat.

Misc Magical Abilities: (Legilimen, Seer, Parselmouth, Obscurial, etc) Luca has extreme proficiency in all types of mental magic - Legilimency, Occlumency, Memory Charms, etc - due to a Dark Curse they inherited. A Curse that has plagued the Fawley family for generations. They also have a magical eye, similar to Moody’s, that replaced their left eye at age thirteen.

Boggart Form: For Years 1-5 it was Jacob, embodying all of Luca’s subconscious uncertainties about him. Post-Portrait Vault, it became Merula getting tortured.

Riddikulus Form: Usually nothing. Luca struggles to find humor in their anxieties, and they don’t stand much chance facing a Boggart alone.

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Luca’s hair has a distinctly cinnamon-like scent, so probably that.

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) Cat fur, Pine Trees, and Cloves.

Patronus: Cat. Specifically, it takes the form of Luca’s cat, Mitten.

Patronus Memory: Either the Celestial Ball, or the time they reconciled with Rowan after a feud about Ben, and cuddled them in cat-form.

Mirror of Erised: After Chapter 18, I’ll give you one guess. They want their best friend back. They want to take back what happened in the forest.

Specialized/Favorite Spells:The Patronus Charm, the Tickling Charm, and the shrinking Charm.

Appearance

Faceclaim: Keanu Reeves.

Game Appearance:

This is pretty much their mood half the time.

Height: 5′8.

Weight:141 lbs.

Physique: Very skinny and small, overall scrawny.

Eye Colour: Naturally dark brown, but their left eye is a bright blue prosthetic.

Hair Colour: Dark brown.

Skin Tone: Olive skin.

Body Modifications: The Magical Eye replace their left eye, and their right hand has a birthmark of a black star, known as the Mark of Despair. A byproduct of the curse placed on the Fawleys.

Scarring: They still have a few faint pockmark scars on their neck and shoulders from when The Fawleys all caught dragon pox in Luca’s childhood. But these can only be seen under the light.

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?) Luca has a tendency to travel light, but they’re also an emotional sap. They carry their wand, the clothes on their back, and “Beatrice Jr.” the puffskein that Beatrice made for them. After the events of the forbidden forest, they also start carrying Rowan’s cracked glasses.

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff.

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie.

Affiliations/Organizations: Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, Curse-Breaking Apprentices, The Circle of Khanna

Professions: I see Luca eventually becoming a teacher at Hogwarts, as the permanent Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Can also see Talbott and Penny working alongside them in Transfiguration and Potions, respectively.

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies: (OWL Grade or ★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆)

Astronomy: Poor.

Charms: Outstanding.

DADA: Exceeds Expectations.

Flying:(N/A. I refuse to accept that Flying has an O.W.L exam.)

Herbology: Poor.

History of Magic: Acceptable.

Potions: Acceptable.

Transfiguration:Acceptable.

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding.

Ancient Runes: Acceptable.

Quidditch: Chaser.

Extra Curricular: Luca tutored students in Charms, and spent a lot of time doing volunteer work in the Creature Reserve.

Favourite Professors: Flitwick, Mcgonagall, and at one point, Rakepick.

Least Favourite Professors: Dumbledore, Snape, Sprout

Relationships

Brother: Jacob. Luca’s favorite person in the entire world. As Luca grew up, Jacob’s disappearance and the subsequent investigation of his actions led to a serious re-evaluation of their relationship. But ultimately, Jacob was always fighting to protect his sibling.

Misc Siblings: Gail, Luca’s twin sister. Depending on which AU we’re talking about, a lot of different things could have happened to her. She could be still-born. She could be raised apart from Luca. She could grow up beside them. She could take their place as the HPHM protagonist. Take heed, anyone writing twin OCS...all these different paths are going to confuse the hell out of you.

Father: Eric Fawley, who died of a Dragon Pox fever when Luca was seven. Though they were still very young when they lost him, Luca and their father had a positive relationship and Eric’s temperament is probably the closest to Luca’s out of anyone else in the family.

Mother: Nina Fawley, formerly Nina Greengrass. She and Luca always had a positive relationship as they were growing up. For the most part, Nina usually appeared to be a pleasant person. However, she also had skeletons in her closet, and as the years went by her mask began to slip.

Love Interest: Canonically? It’s very likely going to wind up being Merula. She hasn’t been cut from the dating quests yet and I’m an absolute sucker for their dynamic. Merula is lashing out because she’s in pain, but Luca is Healer...otherwise, I really like Luca/Tulip, as well as a poly-ship between those three characters called the Trouble Trio. A small sliver of my heart has also started shipping Luca with Skye as well. Basically, I’m an indecisive bean - but since I’m keeping this as close to canon as possible, let’s say Merula.

Best Friends: By the end of their first Hogwarts term, Luca had formed a true squad with Rowan, Penny, Chiara, and Tonks. The four of them teamed up to trade off sleeping beside Luca each night, to help soothe Luca’s night terrors and insomnia. Luca also saw Ben as a little brother from a young age.

Rival: Ironically enough, it wasn’t Merula. Their rivalry with her was always one-sided. Luca saw far too much of Jacob in Merula, to ever have in them to sincerely dislike her. The only person Luca felt a legitimate rivalry with growing up was Diego. Their personalities just did not click well, and it wasn’t until the N.E.W.T. years that they were able to get past it and find common ground.

Enemy: R of course, has become the deadly enemy that Luca does not understand, but knows they must be defeated. If you were to ask though, Luca’s immediate answer would be Rakepick. There was a time when Luca saw her as a mother figure. But now...after everything she’s done...she needs to die.

Dorm-mates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?) Rowan, Murphy, Diego. Though Luca also frequently sleeps in the Girl’s Dormitory with Penny, Skye, Tonks, and Chiara.

Pets:Mitten the snowy cat. Merula also has a black cat of her own called Bitten.

Closest Canon Friends: Rowan, Penny, Tonks, Chiara, Ben, Jae.

Closest MC Friends: This one always makes me shy, because I don’t want to be presumptuous, but some of my favorite MC’s that I’ve seen that I bet Luca would get along with are @missnight0wl @thewasp1995 @back-on-my-tulula-shiz @dat-silvers-girl @salaofthenight and @weirdcursedvaultkid

Background/History

Luca was the child of two Healers that met at St. Mungo’s before starting an Apothecary together. Luca saw a lot of their grandparents on Eric’s side, but never met Nina’s family as she was estranged from them.

Luca knew Jae when they were very young - Jae was friends with Jacob prior to his disappearance. Jacob and Jae would combine their efforts to make mischief, and Luca would never approve. They had a falling out with Jae not long before Jacob vanished, and they maintained an uneasy distance until fifth year, where the kitchen detentions saw a reconciliation between the two of them.

The Fawley family was notoriously unlucky, and known for madness. Alice Fawley, Luca’s aunt, went insane after she was tortured by Bellatrix. In the last two years of his life, Eric had a breakdown and cut off his own hand in an attempt to remove the curse. But the Mark of Despair simply reappeared on his remaining hand.

After Jacob disappeared, Luca had a mental breakdown and for years, they could not recall the day that their brother vanished. In the years to come, Flitwick would give them a Pensieve to help them sift through all the turmoil in their head. Luca would eventually learn that their inability to recall the day Jacob disappeared was due to a memory charm placed on them by an unknown entity, perhaps Jacob himself.

Personality

In some ways, Luca is healthier than most people because they are quite emotionally open and not afraid to express their feelings, but know how to do so in an appropriate fashion. They’re also empathetic and able to show kindness and listen when another person needs to express feelings.

In other ways, Luca is a mess. They’re extremely depressed and this interferes with their productivity and relationships. They’re prone to having breakdowns of crying at any emotional shift. They have low self-esteem and tend to believe that they are worthless or a burden.

That said, they appreciate their friends and loved ones more than they can ever convey. To a fault, even. Not only is Luca loyal, but they are highly forgiving of a person’s flaws if it is someone they care about. One could call it enabling, as they are rarely bothered by offenses that such people commit against them.

Luca also has a very merciful attitude. Day one, even though they knew it was Merula who blew up their cauldron, they said nothing and simply took the fall, apologizing to Snape. However, once Luca has been pushed to a breaking point, they can show a surprising amount of backbone. It just takes a lot to get this out of them.

Luca has a nurturing nature and a tendency to reach out to underdogs, to care for those in need. This is what drew them to Ben, Merula, Orion, and Beatrice. Though Luca never holds anger in their heart, the quickest way to see them get angry is to hurt or abuse one of these outcasts that Luca cares for. Part of the reason they become so disillusioned with Dumbledore is because he is in a position of educational power, and the longer Luca attends Hogwarts, the less it seems to them that Dumbledore has any interest in doing his job with integrity.

Misc

Not going to get too much into Fawley family head-canons, since I’ll save that for a different post. But I think Luca was raised Jewish.

They’re lactose intolerant.

Their favorite flower is the chamomille, which is the type of tea they prefer.

They’ve always been Pro-Muggle, though they don’t know the first thing about muggle culture.

Luca never truly wanted to be a Curse-Breaker. It just seemed like a necessary skill-set to learn to find Jacob, and break the Fawley curse.

They’ve known they were trans for as long as they could remember.

They have exceptional abysmal unique skills at naming. Examples include “Barnaby Jr” the Bowtruckle and “Penny Jr” the Abraxan.

They are ambidextrous.

Despite being a mellow person, Luca is oddly drawn to people who are trouble. If a person is problematic, chaos-aligned, or just an overall disaster of a human being, there’s a greater chance that Luca will find them attractive.

They suspected Rowan of being R for a while, much to their own guilt. It led to a feud, but they made up and were closer than ever.

On the other hand, they never suspected Ben, not even when he was unmasked as the Red Cloak. Luca just had a gut feeling that it was too easy, that it was a setup. But Rakepick saving their life cemented her as an ally in Luca’s eyes...that did not end well.

Luca never wanted to be a Prefect, but Rowan and Flitwick talked them into it.

They vastly prefer Wizard’s Chess to Gobstones, something they have in common with Murphy.

They have an unfortunate tendency to unconsciously project familial roles onto people. Bill and Orion were substitutes for Jacob, Flitwick was a substitute father figure, and for a time, Rakepick substituted for Luca’s absentee mother.

Did I miss anything? Hope you guys like it! Should I post others for the Fawley family?

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