#she did not have the time nor was she safe enough as a child to feel those things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

woneuntonzz · 2 months

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📞 ; “you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back?”

𖹭 : player!seunghan x afab!reader

💭 you had no idea why seunghan seemed to be so indifferent towards you, especially when he had fooled around with half the girls in your circle.

⤷ contains: angst (it's quite bad i think), fluffy fluff, humor, cussing, indications of s/h, mentions and indications of self-exiting, mentions of smoking, drinking, suggestive scenarios, themes of insecurity, mention of other idol names for world building

⤷ wc: 9.8k !!

not proofread :>

Insecurity is something none of us are safe from. One might find themselves one gloomy evening after a long day, staring into the horrid pit they call ‘me’.

It’s just so hard to love yourself when there’s no one to love you.

You’re not the prettiest, nor the smartest. You have a fair share of hobbies, but you’ve always thought you’re just mediocre in all of them. You’ve always thought it’s an internal error, nearly unfixable because you’ve been trying so hard your whole life but still weren’t able to reach a certain point of excellence. Perhaps it was the lack of encouragement, the lack of presence, your parents are the most insouciant they could be, and it hurts even more for being an only-child.

You’d think having friends would help, but over time it would feel as if they were all keeping you around just for your accompaniment, like a pet —not even one they’d dote on, just one they’d have around so they wouldn’t make a fool of themselves blabbering on about whatever was going on in their lives. It’s been five years of their running mouths and pretty faces, and it’s getting harder and harder to care.

“Hong Seunghan? He's got the face for sure, but he’s a jerk.”

“Does it matter? You two were so fucking loud last night.”

“Geez Y/n, sorry —but yeah, it’s just a shame. You can’t really expect anything else from that guy than a quick fuck.”

The first mention of his name flew over your head like a feather, you thought he was probably just another one of those guys, not really worth the thought.

At some point in time however, his circle of friends would merge into yours. Some would build friendships with the occasional make outs and doing the dirty deed whenever they felt like it, and some would actually end up dating, but they would be toxic at best. This deranged circle is definitely not desirable, but for a bunch of horny teenagers, it’s not really much of a shock.

“Shit, Seunghan, why the hell would you just leave me like that?”

“I left you a towel —and you have hands, right? you were just using them with me—”

“Shut up!”

They were laughing after having done something so unholy with the presence of everyone just outside the room where they had dealt with their business. It was the norm now, having sex while everyone else was in the living room, shamelessly making the lewdest of sounds —it’s a house owned by one of your friends whose parents were seemingly as neglectful as yours, it just happens so that their son was a fucking narcissist.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to fuck me.”

“You have a girlfriend, Intak.”

“Y/n, she’s not around, and if you think about it you’re doing her a favor, taking care of me while she’s away—”

“You’re disgusting. She already said no.” —you never expected for Seunghan to suddenly butt in because no one really ever cared enough to save anyone from a situation such as this one.

“Look who’s speaking, you’re just as much of a fuckface as I am.” you could only watch with furrowed brows as the two went on.

“Yeah? I don’t force myself into anyone, unlike you.” —really? for being the philanderer you are? —you’d think to yourself, keeping your eyes on Seunghan.

“Bud, she just said ‘you have a girlfriend’, I didn’t hear a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t want you to make a total wreck of me’, did you?” you’d only roll your eyes, walking out of the room. “Hey, Y/n, wait up—”

“Just leave her alone dude. She doesn’t want you.”

You wish you could care less, but it would happen more often —some of your guy friends trying to get you to fuck, and him coincidentally being in the same room, reasoning with the other guy so you wouldn’t get trapped —if you already weren’t for being in their circle.

You thought he was sick, what was his reason for stopping you from taking a hit when he bounced back and forth from your friends and probably girls outside of your scope.

One night however, you’d make sure he wasn’t around, and finally, you’d give in.

Feeling particularly lustful, you were in luck. Woojin was around, just as pent up —if not more— no longer able to keep his hands to himself. The skinship drew you in deeper, and soon you’d be whispering in his ear, “Let’s go up stairs.” —him giving you a hastened nod before taking you by the arm and dragging you to an empty room at the second storey.

Everyone seemed to be surprised to see that it was you behind those risqué sounds. Still, you didn’t know how to act. Should you be embarrassed? proud? should you just be nonchalant about everything? you didn’t want things to get awkward for you and Woojin, and so you’d try your best to not show your flustered self to him.

“Is it really okay that I took your first time?”

“Y-yeah, don’t think much about it.”

You two were seated on the bleachers of the school gymnasium, the day after everything that went down. His chuckle, so sweet yet so subtle would only add to the heat on your face.

“I just always thought you were so reserved, you know? I thought you’d want your first time to be with someone special, as far as I know, that’s not me —I’m your friend, your my friend.” he was calm, and soft, justifying his thoughts.

“I thought so too.” you shrugged at him.

You looked out into the distance, to the basketball ring, and underneath it was Seunghan. The hell? —you’d say to yourself, seeing the boy beneath the ring shaking his head after making brief eye contact with you.

What was his problem? Was it about you sleeping with Woojin? he was already there when you came down the stairs with Woojin, both of you equally as blown out as the other. When you saw him, he didn’t even seem to care, he even had his arms around one of your other friends nearly shoving his face against hers. So what was his problem?

“Maybe he wanted to fuck you before anyone did.” —now you were second guessing yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have told your pretty little best friends about it.

“I don’t think so. He hadn’t even touched me—”

“Oh right! it’s kinda funny.” their laughter filled your ears, so horrid.

“My God Jean, I don’t know why’d you even bring that idea up, Seunghan wouldn’t even look at Y/n for more than two minutes, be for real.” they tittered to each other, at that point anyone else who saw you would’ve never thought you were part of the initial conversation in the first place.

As harshed it sounded —especially coming from them— it was nothing but the truth. Not like he owed you anything, but you felt as if there must be something wrong with you for him to not be giving you as much attention as he would any other female. Not even only that, he didn’t even talk to you as much as he did with everyone else. The others would talk to you, some like Woojin more regularly than others. It just seemed like Seunghan was just so indifferent towards you, even after all those times he’s rejected your friends’ advances for you.

It was enough for you to question your self-worth, your face, your body, your attitude. You’ve always been so compliant, other than those times you’ve rejected attempts of unruly hands getting into your pants, you had every right to do so anyway. These people you call your friends, they’re all so full of themselves, even them being vocal about their insecurities were all just pure complaints, like a broken car —they could get it ‘fixed’ as they pleased, with their parents’ consent or not they could do whatever they want, unlike you. As much as you wanted to get a higher nose bridge, fuller cheeks, a prettier eye shape, a more flattering body, you’re stuck with what you had. You didn’t have the money, the time, the energy, and most importantly, the motivation.

Facing the mirror made you sick in the stomach, hideous —for a lack of a better word, was all you could think of whenever you saw the lump of patheticness, you.

Everything started with Hong Seunghan, noticing how touchy he’d get with the other girls —and every other girl except you— how he smiled at them, and never at you. He didn’t ignore you entirely, but he wouldn’t be enthusiastic like he’d be with everybody, everybody except you of course. And soon enough, your doubts tripled from the backhanded assurances —if you could even call it that— feeling as if they resent you wouldn’t come as a question, not at all. They did a pretty good job of making you feel unwanted.

“Unwanted? come on, we’re just here to have fun, none of that dramatic depression shit —anxiety or whatever lame excuse you have.” —and you still had no idea how to mend your pain.

You stuck around, for as long as your dignity allowed you to. You would never be special like them. You were merely a filler, and you played your role well. For some time, Woojin was around, then he’s not. In a blink, he’d be your enemy too, just cause he got to fuck the more popular girls in your circle. How amusing. —suddenly he was like everyone else, never to swallow his pride.

Everything at once became too much, way too much. You got into vices you swore you’d never get yourself into, drinking and smoking your spirits away. Wherever you’re headed in life, at that time it was blurry, hazy, unforeseeable. With every other senses blocked, all you could feel was the shot of liquid burning your throat as it slid down.

Your eyes shifted around, looking for a bright light that was never there, and you’d catch a glimpse of your reflection and for a while you were able to spur a thought out of your disarrayed mind —you’re a monster Y/n. You felt and looked dreadful, clearly in need of aid, but from who? you’d only feel the need to down more of the searing liquid, frustrated with yourself, with the world. You will never be enough for everyone, not even yourself.

Brain almost turned to mush, your vision doubling the images you’re able to decipher at the moment, you’d shuffle around the unfamiliar sheets, on a bed you’ve never laid on.

“There’s some aspirin on the bedside table. I’ll be at class.”

Of all people, it had to be his bed. You sat up, face buried in your hands as you tried to remember even the slightest bit of what happened that previous night. Nothing, your mind could only bring you to the void of nothingness. You’d feel yourself around, what if something happened with you and Seunghan that night? before you could ask him however, your eyes would meet his, and in them was a glint of something you weren’t able to pick up on given your very unkempt state. He’d leave you there, not another word leaving him.

If you weren’t so thoughtful, you would’ve just left his room as it is, pocketing the aspirin —he may or may have not— left you, but you took your time tidying up his bed, not even giving the aspirin a second look before you headed out. You knew you needed the medicine, but you just couldn’t bear that thought that it was from him. He never cared —he shouldn’t care.

You still went to school earlier that day, not sparing anyone a minute of your time. You felt so defunct, so dead. On the way out of your last class for the day, you’d only subconsciously wipe your nose and blood was smeared across your face. You thanked yourself for being sober enough to rush to the comfort room and take care of it. By chance, you’d stumble into one of your friends.

“What a sport, bet you could down five barrels.” —the last thing you wanted to hear was their distasteful guffaws.

You tried your best to let out something, anything in response, but a feeble smirk was all you could display, walking out of the comfort room in need of fresher air. You thought that was the end of it, but that night you’d go home, back to your parents. You never thought they’d even notice you didn’t go home that night, but to your surprise, one of them opened their mouth to you at the dinner table.

“You’re only in your junior year Y/n —highschool might I add, I hope you’re not wasting your life away.” you could only very subtly shake your head, suppressing the scoff threatening to leave your lips the moment your mom started talking.

So what if you were wasting away? it’s not like they cared enough. They had barely given you an ounce of their affection, giving you money of the same value as convenient store student meals they considered the equivalent of a birthday celebration. Your last actual birthday was six years ago, before your parents had to ruin their relations with their own parents —your grandparents.

The grounding of this whole mess started from when your parents had introduced one another to each other’s parents. Did not go well. For years, resentment was loud and clear, even as a kid you could see it, but for the sake of your parents you pretended not to. Your parents had you without getting married, still, your grandparents loved you wholly like you were their own child. Even after your birth, your grandparents from both sides still opposed the idea of marriage, hence your parents’ dismay. They’d cut ties with your grandparents so they could carry on with their wishes of being wedded, but till now, were still not able to do so, not earning enough to fulfill this desire.

Love wins all they say, but their love was none you could see nor feel, so did abandoning their parents do anything for them at all? for their love that seemed to be so important that they’d continue to deprive you of your emotional needs?

You refuse to be like them, you want to be better, to prove something to them, to yourself. Perhaps it’s time you got a grip.

It wouldn’t be easy to stay out of the ‘friends’ that would be the foreground of your miserable life, but slowly you’d get the hang of giving absolutely no fucks for whatever they had to say.

“You can’t be serious, you? studying? if you’re just gonna be out fucking some pathetic guy downing tequila like it’s water you—”

“I have a life, Rina. Maybe you should get one too?” you’d feel a little better, finally not letting them underdog you like they always have.

You were a lot more vocal, and they didn’t like it. Soon you’d be the topic of discussion, behind your back, or when you just weren’t around. You knew, it was hard to say you didn’t care, it felt like fifty missiles coming at you at once, but what else could you do? tell them to stop? —as if they would.

“She’s such a fucking brat. What had gotten into that bitch?”

“Wait, who now?”

“Y/s/n Y/n.”

Upon hearing your name, he just couldn’t help but insert himself in the conversation, though he wasn’t meant to. “What’d she do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, be a bitch? she thinks she’s all that but she’d probably end up in a ditch somewhere.” laughing at such vile words is sickening. “Anyways, Han, please, please, please sleep with me tonight. I feel so stressed about the finals.”

He scoffed at her, loud enough for her to flinch. “Why don’t you study, freak? I’m going, I’m gonna study so I can at least continue to senior year.”

“Do you hate me now, Han?”

“Never fucking liked you in the first place.”

He saw you leave that atrocious house for the last time, but he never knew it would be the last. He still waited for you, though none of your friends ever thought of it.

Senior year flew by, and he noticed you never came back. He also noticed that you avoided him, and everyone else involved in that shitshow like you never knew them.

They made sure you wouldn’t get away with it that easily. Within a span of weeks, your life was hell once again. You were labeled a slut, an alcoholic, a toxic gossip. It was tough to wake up the next day, to continue to breath under their condemnatory glares. The thought of who you were to them was so close to swallowing you whole, into obscurity, where you belonged.

“Y/s/n Y/n? please wake up.” —an unfamiliar voice, one you thought was from the heavens coming to retrieve you from the hell you lived in.

She helped you sit up from the murky tiles of the school comfort room, assisting you with holding yourself up with a hand on the small of your back.

“Y/n, please don’t do this again. If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. Tell me everything.” —Ahn Yujin, a girl from the pilot class, she’d heard about you, but everything she’s picked up so far contradicts your lifeless image.

She figured you must've been a victim of such vindictive mouths. You could only tell your stories through messages, fearing if you did it anywhere else, someone might overhear and use it against you.

“Don’t worry, it’s all going to be kept between you and I.” —back in school, Yujin stuck by you whenever she could. “I have a friend in another class, Ningning, you should join us for lunch!”

You felt dumb for doubting the luminance of her tone, bright as ever. This was the first time you’d had someone you felt comfortable enough to call your friend, and you were thinking, maybe, it’s just all out of pity, then it would be easy for them to just overlook your existence like everyone else does.

Your ambiguity would be lifted once you’ve received the first letter.

hey y/n, i know you’d probably think i have bad intentions, writing this and all, but i just wanted you to know that i’m really worried about you. i wish i could’ve done something to drive away those rumors, you didn’t deserve any of this. i was scared that you almost ended it all, i hope it doesn’t happen again. i wish i could give you a hug right now, but for now, this would have to do —with a cute little drawing of a bear with open arms. The artist was definitely not Van Gogh, but it was sweet nonetheless.

When you met Yujin and Ningning again that day, you would hesitantly come up to her with a warm embrace. She was a bit surprised, but happy you were finally showing signs of healthy vigor. “Hi Y/n!” she exclaimed whilst she hugged you back.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for everything —to you too Ningning. I literally wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you guys.” the two would engulf you in a big hug.

“Life is tough and highschool is filled with monsters. Rina and her little girlfriends? they can rot in hell, I’ll tell you that!”

“Shh! wait, Yunjin, people might hear!” a slight chuckle left your mouth, for the first time in a great while. “But I agree. No worries, you have us now, fuck those buffoons.”

Finally, sincerity, something you never thought you’d be met with ever again. If it weren’t for that letter though, you would’ve never figured out just how genuine Yujin and Ningning were with helping you out. Even at home, you’d be talking with them, sometimes on a call if you were feeling safe enough to make a slight noise in your home with your parents around.

“My birthday is in two weeks, God, I don’t think I'd even make it by then because of this stupid physics assignment —and the thesis too! I hate, hate, hate Lee Woojin.” you laughed at Yujin’s mention of that pathetic fool’s name, immediately catching the attention of both girls in the call.

“Y/n, is he one of those jerks?” Ningning would bring her face closer to her phone screen.

“Yes, he is. He’s bad bad.” you laughed at their reactions, Ningning shaking her head with a smirk whilst Yujin slammed her hands against each other once, scoffing.

“Of course he is, I swear to God, I will remove him from our thesis paper.”

“Honestly, he’s really nice when you first meet him, but as time goes by… you realize he’s just a total perv, him, Seunghan, Dowoon, all the same!”

You shouldn’t be surprised, but you couldn’t help but perk up hearing Seunghan’s name again after a while. His reputation, like everyone else in his friend group, was tainted —salvageable, yes, but still burnt a hole through his once admirable esteem. Girls were all over him then, the younger and older, but now, with news of him fooling around so often, he’d be nothing but a pretty playboy.

But he was no longer your concern, boys like him are never worth it, destroying the little self-worth you had. For all you knew, he probably never cared for you.

None of that would matter anymore, and for the second time, you’d receive another letter, the last one was shoved in the peephole of your locker, but this one was left under your desk.

i hope you’re reading these —also hope you’re not throwing them away after, i don’t want to assume, but I see you’re holding yourself up pretty well? i’m really proud of you :3

How could you throw such precious efforts away? you kept them all, and eventually made the decision to stick them to your personal journal that you haven’t touched for so long. Your day wouldn’t be complete without them, and you’d wordlessly thank Yujin and Ningning by being there for them like they always were for you.

“Hey, Y/n, we should do a little something for Yujin’s birthday.” you and Ningning were huddled against each other, whispering in the cafeteria before Yujin could arrive.

You quietly gasp, coming up with an idea. “Wait! I think I got it.”

And the rest of the six minutes was spent with the two of you suppressing giggles and trying to be as quiet as possible till Yujin got there. “What are you two up to?”

“Not much, just the—” you looked at Ningning as an attempt to seek help. “—group project for social studies.”

She’d just nod, slowly, eyeing the two of you with suspicious eyes, all in jest of course, and you were all laughing by the end of it.

your smile is so pretty, always smile, yeah? happy you’re happy, finally. —and another cute little sketch of a teddy bear.

You almost laughed at how ridiculously adorable it was, not meaning to sound harsh, but you really thought Yujin could draw better, but maybe she was in a rush when she made it.

i haven’t told you this, have i? —anyways, you deserve all the happiness in the world. if i could, i would take all the pain away from you, i’d take it all for you. be happy always, lots of hugs and kisses (? —are kisses okay?) —another day, another letter.

You couldn’t help but emit a soft chuckle, shaking your head at just how sweet these letters were. You made sure you paid back Yujin all the love you’ve been receiving, through her words, the smallest and biggest of gestures, and her letters.

i see you reading through my letters, not being creepy though, i just can’t help but look because you’re so cute. i’m being for real too, your little giggle is everything, and again, your smile beats everyone else’s. i think i’ll only be going to school to see that sweet smile of yours :D —this would be the letter left under your desk on Yujin’s birthday.

You can’t help but overthink the surprise you’ve prepared for her, because even on her birthday, she was still able to give you something that —for you— could never be topped by anything else in this world. To others, it’s ‘just words’, but these words were ones that encouraged you to be more motivated, to make an effort in getting ready for school everyday despite how hostile the environment could be.

Later that day, you and Ningning would be extra busy, convincing Yujin to wear the blindfold you had prepared —you had to make sure it would be comfortable for her— leading her somewhere in the park just near your school.

Two, three —“Surprise!”

You were both proud with the simplicity, yet incredibly pleasing to the eyes. A little picnic set up, with a cake you and Ningning split your budget for.

“This is just —I, oh my God.” she had her hands covering her mouth, eyes watery from the fondness you and Ningning had drowned her in.

You and Ningning would help her kneel down carefully on the blanket you’ve laid down.

“We hope you like the cake, we weren’t so sure which one to pick.” Ningning says.

“I love it, I— thank you guys.” Yujin hugs both of you once more.

Once released from their snug grasp, you’d utter, “We wanted to make sure this day would be extra special, and I want to thank you again for helping me and being my best friend, and for the letters too.”

“I love you Y/n, I really do.” she beamed at you, the dearest smile you’ve ever received since your grandparents. “Oh, but, what letters were you talking about?”

You blinked once, was it not from her? “Letters? oh, did I say letters? I meant to say words, you’re words of encouragement and all.”

“You’re so sweet, thank you Y/n.” you’d give her the same smile she’d given you, holding her hand, but at the same time, your mind was going fuzzy and you’d just ask yourself —whose letters were they?

Perhaps it was Ningning? but she seemed to be just as perplexed as Yujin was, you were just thankful that they didn’t feel the need to question you further about it.

You’d keep receiving the letters, but would still be clueless as to who this mystery sender might be. They seemed to be quite genuine, especially for hiding their identity.

the workload is starting to get really hard to bear with, i hope you’re doing good. i really wish i could help you, but i hope this little hug can help. —and another drawing of a bear with open arms.

Are they a classmate of yours? you could only be certain they were also senior year because they were aware of the piling schoolwork everyone in your year had to endure.

Even with the sender’s anonymity, their letters would still serve as a reason for you to withstand the storms of your life. You’d tell both Yujin and Ningning about it eventually, and they would be just as invested in them as you were, intrigued by this endearing mystery.

“They seem really sweet, but I really can’t think of anyone.” —was all you could answer to your friends’ queries.

“Hmm, whoever they are, I hope they’re just as good as they appear to be in these letters.” They were reading through the letters in your journal, smiling at certains points.

“Oh my God, what a flirt.” you’d rush next to Ningning, peaking at the page where they’d stopped.

i want you to read this and not think i’m playing, because i saw you this morning and thought you looked really pretty —you’re pretty every single day, but this morning was something else, i don’t sound crazy, right? or creepy?

“You should totally write something back to them!” Ningning spoke, almost in a squeal.

It was the letter from earlier that day, and it was the first time the letters would come off as more flirty like what Yujin had just said. You weren’t quite receptive with the thought of calling them your secret admirer, you’d pretty much prefer to call them your anonymous best friend.

who are you? —you left a little note above your desk before you left school that day, hoping they’d see it and respond to you.

college is nearing, i wish you all the luck in the world. i know you’ll get in a great university, and have great friends, be careful with friends, okay? also remember to always take care of yourself, no matter what.

so i wrote this last night, but i added this just now, i see you’re curious, i never thought it would matter. truly, your smile is enough. i don’t want to be in the way of your thoughts, don’t think about it much, still i really don’t want you to think i’m just messing with you. i promise to see you before we graduate :))

Your smile would diminish by the end of the letter. Right, you were graduating already. With a sigh, you’d fold the letter into one of your notebooks.

The letters never stopped, and soon, your journal was full. You got a new one, filling three more pages with their letters before graduation day. you’ll see me later near the flagpole, i’ll stand there and wave at you, wave back? hehe :3 —a note was stuck onto your designated chair during the ceremony.

Your heart pounded so quickly as time flew by, the awarding was barely in your mind anymore, all you could think of was seeing this mystery person, seeing an actual being behind those lovely and comforting words. Once everyone had their medals hanging from their necks, with smiles and faint laughter, there would be a speech left by the deans and the principal. All that’s left is to let that cap fly into the air, and look near the flagpole.

With a smile on your face, you got a little closer at the stage, just enough to be at a reasonable distance from your anonymous best friend, still you weren’t able to spot them right away. After a while, the crowd would scatter, and you could finally look without many people in the way.

You never thought you’d see his smile, a smile that called for the angels, the angel that you are.

Before he could give you a wave, you’d disappear from his sight, like snow under the summer sun. His eyes would move down to the floor, perhaps he was too sure? Well, he didn’t exactly picture that you would run to him and wrap him with your warm embrace, but he thought you’d at least spare him a small smile, either way, he couldn’t blame you. He understood why you’d react that way.

You didn’t know how to feel, was it really him? him out of all people? out of all people, him again? you wanted to believe he was just out of his mind, wanting to mess with you all over again, but then, if he really intended to, he could've done so without all the trouble of writing you all these letters every night waking up extra early just to leave them under your desk before you got there, all to get a smile out of you.

This was not the Hong Seunghan you knew.

═══════════════════════════════════════

Getting into a decent university was your biggest concern all summer, not being able to think about anything else than your entrance exam results. SNU, Yonsei, and two more back ups, you just hoped you weren’t much of a fuck up during the interview, though you did stutter at multiple points —which almost crumbled you into pieces— you’d say you did a pretty good job, till you were coming up with better answers you could’ve said right after the interview finished.

“Okay, okay. Let’s open our inbox.” you were on a call with your best friends, all equally excited, and anxious.

“I will shit myself.”

You checked yours, you got four emails from all four universities you applied for. You only got into two, much to your luck, one of them was Yonsei.

“Oh my God, we’re going to Yonsei together!” Yujin had her hands clasped together.

“I can’t wait to skip classes with you guys!” you both laugh at Ningning’s quip.

“Maybe not that, but yey!”

Your life seems to be moving in the right direction, one where you’ll finally be able to reach a point of contentment, and pure bliss.

You’d find yourself smiling at the ceiling, eyes closed, laying flat on your back. It felt so good to be out of the haphazards, just thinking about the future and what it held for you and the two of your favorite people.

Relief coursed through your body, finally you could step out of that dismal household. Your parents promised to send you money regularly, but you were determined to get some sort of side job that could earn you enough so you could save up for something nice —you yet weren’t sure for what exactly, but you’d figure it out soon enough.

Arriving at the dorms, you were thankful that it was spacious enough, not like you’d have a use for so much space, just that you hoped you could pre-establish some boundaries with your roommate, who —fortunately for you— was very nice and quite extroverted.

“Hi! My name is Haewon!”

“Hi! I’m Y/n, nice to meet you!”

And she was nice enough to invite you and your friends to a little get-together they had.

“There’s not many people, but I think Sunoo said he was bringing in a few friends, I'm not familiar with them either.” Haewon shrugged right as she spoke about her friend Sunoo.

This was the circle of friends you thought you’d be in in highschool, but does that really matter anymore? you already had Yujin, Ningning, and now Haewon, and possibly a few more you hoped.

You’d meet up with Yujin and Ningning before you got to the get-together, you were all just as nervous as the other, but were still anticipating something wonderful out of it.

“I just hope they’re really as nice as they sound, I mean, meeting Haewon earlier, they probably are, but still!” Yujin spoke with haste, using a hand mirror to guide herself with fixing her hair.

“We’ll be okay, tonight will be great.” you urged with pure excitement.

You were a firm believer —just recently— that things would go well if you believed hard enough, and throughout the ride to the meeting place, you wore a smile, one that would only shine brighter once you were greeted by Haewon and two other girls. Soon enough you’d learn their names, Seeun and Sullyoon. However, Sunoo seemed to be running late.

“I wonder who he’s coming with, I hope they’re nice too.” Sullyoon kept her eyes on Haewon —who looked to be growing a bit annoyed— as she spoke.

After five counts of minutes, you’d hear a few pairs of feet approaching, and you’d turn yourself around to face them with a wee bit of hesitance.

“Finally! Well, anyways, this is my roomate Y/n and her best friends, Yujin and Ningning.”

“Is Haewonnie mad at me?”

“Don’t even get me started with that—”

“Yeah, okay, okay. I brought my roommate too, Seunghan, and his best friend Sohee.”

Him again.

Everything was flashing back in your mind in one full swing, the letters, graduation day, the aspirin. It wouldn’t be as bad looking back at it, but he was right there. Perhaps you made a mistake on graduation day? maybe he was just in the way of your anonymous best friend who stood near the flagpole. But he was the only one there. —your thoughts would stray far from the conversation at play, but you wouldn’t let yourself get too lost in your head to shut everyone out. You tried shutting him out, but somehow your eyes were progressively becoming so drawn to his own. Why was he suddenly giving you this much attention? it should’ve been over the moment you had rejected the aspirin, the morning you woke up on his bed, but he was here again, and he’s different.

It posed a question, what is it that could truly change somebody? an event? a place? another person? you could say, from that night alone you could observe that he’s changed as much as you did. A lot more smiley —like you, a bit timid, but still very open —like you, listened very carefully and very well, especially to you. You’d mind him the entire night, but made sure you were still being a functional friend and not just sitting there like an idiot thinking about this one guy that you suddenly couldn’t get off of your head —get out!

The moment would come where it was finally time to say goodbye. Everyone was so nice to you and your friends that nothing else came out of your other than small thank you’s whilst you gave them little waves, even him. He waved at you too, but he seemed too happy for his own good.

That night however, while you got your stuff fixed, opening the bag you brought to the get-together for anything you would need for class the next day, you’d be met with a small piece of paper, folded in half.

good luck for tomorrow’s classes, it was really nice seeing you again. i missed you, y/n —there it was again, that stupidly cute bear that could easily be mistaken for a koala.

You really had nothing else left to do than to just wait for the sun to rise again, but not without giving everything an hour of your thought. You’re dazed with his sudden, and very unexpected appearance at that get-together, though you could never be sure, he didn’t seem to be the same Seunghan that bounced from girl to girl, ignoring you —something you so desperately wanted to get off your mind, but it was all coming back now. Because what could be the reason for him to write you all those letters? suddenly he was so concerned for you now? Was it because you almost lost your life? Was this just his pity getting the better of him?

Whatever it may be, it was for sure driving you insane.

“Good morning Y/n! I went down to get breakfast and I noticed you got mail, I fetched it for you if it’s alright, figured it might be from your family.” your eyes went wide at the envelope Haewon held up to your groggy face.

It’s not from my family, they’d never, “Thank you.” —you had a hunch of whom it might be from.

And your hunch was right.

good morning! i was hoping maybe you’d consider (you really don’t have to though) having lunch with me later today? and maybe we can talk for real, no pressure though! you really don’t have to show up (but please do?). i know you know who i am now, and i totally get why you’d react the way you did, i honestly would’ve reacted the same way (i really tried to draw some kind of emoticon with a bear, but i’m not exactly an artist).

You were already at the dining hall with Yunjin and Ningning when you read the letter. Though, with furrowed eyebrows, you wondered when and where exactly you’d be meeting him for lunch, other than that, your chortle by the end of reading it was very telling.

“Another letter? your secret admirer followed you to Yonsei?” your tittering escalated into a hearty laugh leaving Yujin wide-eyed. “Wait, do you already know who it is?”

“Yeah, I know him very well.” you replied, leaving them with a sheepish grin.

“Him? Who is it?” both of them left their mouths agaped when you continued to chuckle at them.

“You’ll find out eventually.”

“And when exactly is ‘eventually’?”

Lunch? you really didn’t know where else to go other than the dining hall, so you went there again for lunch time. You told your friends that you were waiting for this not so mysterious person, and they’d situate themselves at a table farther, but near enough to see whoever sits at your table.

Whilst you waited, you’d grab your lunch from the food queue. Once sat, your eyes would constantly shift from your food to the entrance, and you could only take tiny bites, not wanting to inhale your food entirely when your company was yet to arrive. You toyed with the single piece of vegetable on your plate using a steel spoon, did he stood me up? —at that point you had even received a text from Yujin that read, where the hell is that idiot?

He’s right there. By chance, more desirably by fate, glancing towards the entrance your eyes would stay there, locked with his. Both of you would shy away as he got closer, and when he was finally at your table he would softly utter, “I’m sorry, did I keep you waiting?”

Yes —you’d think to yourself, yet you’d shake your head at him at a staggered pace. For a moment you thought he’d sit next to you, walking to the empty seat next to you, but then he’d go full circle, sitting across from you.

Right in front of you is a plastic bag, quite obviously food. “Oh, is this…”

“It’s chicken, you can save it for later if you want, it’d still taste good if you microwave it again, you have a microwave, right?” you almost laugh, he was just as comical as he was in his letters.

You wondered if this was what changed, or if this had been the Seunghan behind that playboy facade all along. “Yes, Seunghan, I have a microwave.”

Later that day, your friends just had to have a talk with you, it was the four of you in your dorm room, Haewon being included by chance. Firstly of course, you had to give your roommate a little summary of what had been of your highschool life, who you used to be, and him of course.

With utter disbelief, gasps were evoked, one after another like chimes until Ningning spoke, “I still can’t believe that was the Hong Seunghan from highschool, I mean, he did seem a lot nicer at last night’s dinner, but who would’ve known?”

He’s changed for good, as he should —you thought, you were in college after all, it would only make sense for him to get himself together.

“But, if he’d been giving you those letters since highschool, do you think he'd have changed then?” The question came from Haewon who was very clearly immersed in your story.

“Maybe? I didn’t really see him as often, and, yeah, I kind of hated him then.” you mentioned it in your story too, how he used to be so apathetic towards you.

“Oh, yeah. So how’d lunch go?” the three had their noses pointed towards you, trapping you against the headboard of your bed.

“It was good.” really Y/n? —you’d question yourself, because everything you could recall from lunch that day was just the two of you shying away from each other’s eyes, seemingly waiting on each other to speak.

“How good?”

Fine would’ve been a better word. It was your first time having lunch with him, let alone spending time with him. You held your first actual conversation, and he was very unlike how you’d hear him talk to others back then. Most importantly, he was all eyes and ears for you. It was the very first instance where your eyes would gaze into each other long enough for you to feel something you had never felt before.

good morning! you know, i should’ve asked yesterday, but would it be okay if i got your number? just wondering hehe, also you can tell me if you want me to stop with the letters, maybe you’d be more accustomed to messages (okay, it looks like a bear, right? sohee told me it doesn’t, i got a little too paranoid about it.)

Though feeling a little awful having to go to class again, today sparked a fire in you, a sort of motivation, a new objective if you will.

This time, you’d approach him at that one class you shared. He’d freeze when he saw your figure taking wary steps towards him, anyways, shouldn’t he be the one approaching you?

You’d stand in front of him for a few seconds before very nonchalantly sticking a post-it near his chest, on his dress shirt. You’d give him a small smile before making your way out of the lecture hall.

xxxx - xxx - xxxx, ttyl <3 —he thought he must’ve looked ridiculous wearing such a bashful grin, anyways he couldn’t care less, not at all when he had a conversation with you to look forward to at the end of the day.

hi? sorry if i’m bothering you, i don’t know if you’re busy or not, personally, i’m not busy, not saying you can’t be busy. if you’re busy maybe we can talk when you’re not busy anymore heh

He writes letters over messages too? —you’d giggle to yourself, curling up into a ball as you messaged him back, not really busy, hi :))

HELLO

so, yeah

i just hope, idk

i’ve been contemplating

it’s ok han, go ahead

i just wanted to say i’m sorry for everything, from highschool and all that. it just didn’t feel right to just move on from everything knowing how much it affected you.

i hope this isn’t overwhelming for you

i should’ve said this irl

but lowkey i’m kinda scared of confrontations

yea, i can tell lol

YOU CAN?

yeah

i see why

i’m one idiot sandwich

You hummed quietly to yourself, biting your bottom lip as you typed, more like an idiot cupcake

a cupcake?

yea

u were a jerk, but ur very sweet as it turns out

oh, sorry bout that hehe

u rlly don’t have to keep saying sorry

i’ve forgiven u a long time ago

really?

thank you, it really means a lot

like A LOT A LOT

thank you for also considering meeting me for lunch and talking to me n stuff and not ignoring me

and also, i hope u don’t think i’m playing you with those letters

i meant every word, all from the heart :3

that doesn’t sound too cheesy right? god i’m sweating right now

no han 😭

i think it’s very sweet

and really adorable

ur so adorable

Explode —he thought he’d explode right then and there. You were calling him adorable? he’d never foreseen this ever occurring, it seemed unreal at most.

seunghan?

yes

i’m alive :D —you’d think he was aware of how cute he was, but truly it was just the effect you had on him.

By that time, you thought the letters would stop coming, after all it’d be easier for him to message you.

“Good morning Y/n! I grabbed your mail for you, it came with food, some melon bread, if I had to guess, this is from…” Haewon would eye you keenly, nodding at her, she’d only nod back in response, catching the signal.

good day! —wow, that sounded like a message from the dean, but anyways, good morning to you, miss lovely. i’d like to propose something, so you, me, your friends, my friends —lunch, sounds good?

It would be the five of you at lunch, talking about whatever was there to talk about —mostly professors you didn’t like, and students that caught your attention— talking, throwing a few jokes around and laughing altogether. It would all be harmless fun, well, that was until all you could see was each other. At first it would all be pure coincidence, but then after a few more coincidences, suddenly your eyes looked for each other. It was like playing tag, and your friends are all ‘it’. Eventually, your friends would catch up to you two, not outrightly saying it, but they could tell something was at play.

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

What was I gonna say? “Oh, uh…”

“Seunghan?”

“Um, yeah. I’ll talk to you later.” —his smile was very sure, very eager for your heeding.

═══════════════════════════════════════

ur going to movie night?

i got the good shit 😎

i’m scared

fear not damsel

i’m sure ur gonna love it fr fr

who r u calling damsel 🤨

oh sorry

princess (?)

that better?

see u at sullyoon’s

bye shinchan •^•

see ya princess >:)

It’s been a while, a while nearing five months. What’s changed? nothing much, you got closer, more comfortable, though not face to face, through messages you just seemed to spew anything at each other displacing all worries that once floated around your mind. And of course, you still received the letters —one hundred and ninety-four letters, from the very first day till today.

FOR NARNIA! I AM excited :)) we’re watching EVERY movie in the franchise, you better pack your softest blanket, AND, also, i have a little gift for you. just a little something, i hope you love it as much as i do. —a drawing of a smiling bear, at some angles uncanny, making you laugh on the way back up to your dorm room after fetching his letter.

You gave a lot of thought on picking out pajamas for this one-night occasion, cozy or cute? Why not both?

“I knew it’d be so cute on you! I can’t wait for everyone else to see!” Haewon would coo at you, caressing the fuzz of your lion onesie. “Do the roar.”

“No.”

You and roommate would walk your way to Sullyoon’s dorm room —one she shared with Seeun— in your fuzzy and colorful onesies, with a few snacks and beverages at hand. And of course you wouldn’t forget your fluffy comforter.

“Hi —Oh my God, that’s so cute!” like you expected, Yujin and Ningning would come cooing at you too, and soon Sullyoon and Seeun.

Yujin gently squished your cheeks together. “Are you excited for the movie?” you’d asked through squished cheeks.

“Of course cutie.” —and a slight poke to your left cheek.

“FOR NARN—” Seunghan would stop in his tracks when he saw you all huddled up at one end of the ouch in your fuzzy lion onesie. “...nia.”

You’d perk up at the sound of his voice, giving him a peppy wave. “Hi!” you mouthed at him, and he’d happily wave back rushing beside you.

In between the two of you were pillows and a few plushies. “I got us some turtle chips, don’t tell the others.” he’d whisper.

“Why not?”

“Limited supply, princess.”

Soon, everyone would settle down, snacks laid out where everyone could reach to take a handful, and of course, your beloved turtle chips would be hidden under a blanket laying on top of yours and Seunghan’s laps. The lights went dim, and the movie was on.

“We should do Harry Potter next.”

“Chill girly, we haven’t even gotten this one started.” —and laughter.

The movie was fun, as far as you could tell. It was quite difficult to find any sense of focus for the movie when you could feel the warmth of his body, even being a few inches apart on the floor, both leaning against the edge of the couch. You’d use the turtle chips as an excuse to look anywhere near his direction at multiple points in the movie, reaching for some chips from the blanket —it was dark so you’d have to make extra effort anyway. The twelfth time you reached into that bag of chips you shared, the back of your hands would brush against each other, and you’d flinch, moving your hand away almost immediately.

“Sorry.” he’d whisper.

As the night went on, it would happen more often, and you would care less and less, until not at all. Either way, you were both just in for the snack, and maybe a little more.

Three movies in, you’d glance beside you, seeing a drowsy Seeun next you with Ningning laying herself against Seeun’s side, already asleep. You looked up, Sohee seemed to actually be invested in the movie, and so was Sullyoon, Yujin and Sunoo? Well, they were awake, but they might just be watching something else.

“Y/n?” you’d lower your head, almost jumping at the close proximity of your faces.

“What is it Han?” you were able to utter quietly, subsiding your flustered state.

He just stares for a while, taking in the colors on the tv screen reflecting on your glistening eyes. Breaking his trance, in a whisper, he’d ask, “You read my letter this morning, right?”

“Of course” I always do —you weren’t brave enough to tell him the rest just yet.

“Here’s my gift.” From behind him, he’d bring out a little teddy bear, one in your favorite color. “And also, I wanted to give you my letter for tomorrow in advance —I feel like this is pretty convenient timing.” Now, from under the blanket, he would bring out an envelope, colored a nice, light orange.

He hands it to you, and you’d very gently take it from his hand as you whispered again, “Thank you, Han.”

The letter seemed to be a lot more decorated. The envelope was of somewhat higher quality —it was a lot thicker— and it had a few stickers here and there, you could tell he was trying to get a pattern of some sort. You were eager to read through it right then, but just as you opened the envelope, he brought his hand to lower yours that held the envelope, moving his body closer to yours in the process. “It’d be better if you read it tomorrow.”

Your sides were pressed onto each other, but none of you would budge. You’d just go back to the movie, or attempt to do so. With the fleeting time, you were already halfway into the last movie. When your yawn deflated, you’d feel some weight on your shoulder. You were, in all honesty, too sleepy to capture all of your emotions. And without second thought, you’d allow your head to fall on the one that lies on your shoulder.

The letter —suddenly you were wide awake. You glanced to your side, seeing his alluring visage, closed lips and slight agape mouth, you chuckled, ever so quietly as to not wake him up. You would very carefully open the envelope, freeing the folded piece of paper. You gave yourself a few seconds to take in the tiny sketches of bears, Shinchan, stars, hearts and other whatnots.

hey, i hope you have time to read everything, i'm very nervous writing this too. i just wanted to say that for the first time in my life i found something —no, someone i can never seem to move on from, someone i would never give up, not even for my own life. i know i was never the best person you could have around, and i have so much guilt in me for taking my chances for granted. i've liked you since october 12th 2020, it's been four years, we're also in college now. i hope you don't think i'm only saying this for my own sake, but i just wanted you to know that's it's been you since october 12th 2020. i was young and stupid, i cringe at this excuse but maybe it's true after all, but still it was so wrong. nothing was stopping me from pursuing you the moment i saw your beautiful face —your beautiful self, you're so beautiful, everything about you is beautiful. at that time i never knew you thought so badly of yourself, please don't ever think that again. if others can only see your flaws, all i see is how perfect you are, hoping this doesn't sound too cliche to the point where you'd think it's fake :(( it's true, i love you. we're like jack and rose —or maybe not, jack dies lol (i mean i'd die for you anyway), romeo and juliet? oh, no, they both die, so, noah and allie? ...no, NO. even better, seunghan and y/n, y/n and seunghan. hoping this love story is one where no one dies (at least not until we're, like, 90) and no one is forced to move places because your parents hate me and vice versa —anyways, i really love you, and i totally understand if you're doubting me, before i end this letter i just wanted to thank you for being so strong too, again, i love you.

The final movie ended with your watered eyes, but it wouldn’t be the movie that would evoke your emotions. With a few blinks, your tears would fall, and slowly, your hand would creep under the blanket, reaching —not for the chips, but for the hand of the very first you’d call your lover.

Your touch would wake him from his slumber, and he’d look at you, head slightly hovering over your shoulder. “Are you okay? was the movie that sad?”

You’d chuckle softly, giving his hand a light squeeze. “I just —I love you too, Seunghan.”

“Wait, you read the letter?” eyes curious, but still evidently sleepy, you’d guide his head back on your shoulder. “Oh, you did.”

Silence took over, and soon light snores from your friends. You’d slowly shift yourself to a position where you were facing him, and he’d do the same. He was physically unable to hold back, lips planting a soft kiss on your forehead. You two figured your friends are already far off into dreamland, so you’d get comfortable, arms wrapped around each other. He has one arm under your head, hand drawing circles on your hair, his other arm was wrapped around your waist allowing his hand to settle on the end of your spine. You had both arms wrapped around his waist, snuggling into him with his gift teddy bear stuffed in between the two of you.

“I feel like it'd be better if you heard it from me directly.” He tried his best to be very quiet, but would end up earning a groan from one of your friends.

“Just bring yourself closer, Han.” —he was more than happy to oblige, and now you could feel each other’s warm breath hitting the skin on your faces.

“I love you Y/n.” —and of course, every happily ever after ends with a true love's kiss.

End.

#riize #briize #riize au #riize fanfic #riize x reader #riize fluff #riize angst #riize seunghan #hong seunghan #riize imagines #Spotify

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thebadboyfanclub · 1 year

Text

My Little Sea Snake (Aemond x Reader)

Requested by @duhitzdae. Your requests are getting more and more difficult so I hope I wrote this the way you wished!

(Y/n) Velaryon was the first born child of Rhaenyra and Laenor Velaryon, a true born heir created during the few times that her parents laid together, Rhaenyra was relieved when she was born, she had successfully done her part and completed her duty, it is rather grim to look at one’s birth as a simple duty but that was the truth of it.

(Y/n) inherited her fathers skin tone and long white mane yet her eyes were ice blue, to look at her was to love her, she was a beauty in her own way. As a babe she would cause a ruckus until she was safely tucked in her fathers eyes, “my little sea snake” he would teasingly call her as he rocked her back and forth and sang lullabies to her, every night before Laenor snuck out of the castle he would only do so after he rocked his baby girl to sleep, all the wet nurses were at awe at the devoted father. Laenor loved all his… children however would someone blame him for having a soft spot for (y/n)? She was his heir, his blood ran through her veins.

Her home was the ocean and the little girl would squeal with joy when her father brought her to sea for the first time, the water splashing on her brought her an immense amount of bliss while her father held her tightly, Laenor would often reminisce of that morrow, his pride and joy was the reason he upheld his marriage even in the slightest.

Rhaenyra loved her daughter yet when he looked at she represented everything she hated, a forced marriage out of convenience, she did not despise her husband nor her child but her heart resided somewhere else.

When her brother Jacaerys was born (y/n) tried to take a peek at the small babe, it was love at first sight for her although as he grew she heard whispers of how different they looked.

Time seemed to fly by and now her mother had given birth to another son, “another child to love while she ignores me” she thought, she put on the best show for everyone as she congratulated her mother who only half smiled and looked away from (y/n).

She had grown to turn a blind eye to her mothers cold manner, on the other hand it still hurt for a daughter to be brushed away from her own mother, she would have to stand by while her mother coddled her brothers, petting them and kissing them all the time, her father would pick up on his daughters sadness and run to her to smother her.

She had just landed from her dragon when she heard a loud cry from inside the castle at driftmark, the ceremony of her dear aunt leanas funeral had been heavy on her, especially when she saw her father grieving while he stood in the ocean with the water up to his waist.

Instinctively she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. The sight she met was brutal, her grandmother crying on top of a half burned corpse as her grandfather yelled at some soldier

“Father?”

She mumbled as her eyes filled with tears, she did not feel the impact of her knees crashing on the floor, she crawled next to the body still trying to process what was happening, her grandmothers crying made her want to rip off her ears from her head.

“It cannot be, Grandmother… it’s not my father is it?”

The last thing she remembers was her grandmothers blue eyes looking back at her, collapsing at the floor unconscious while her grandfather took her in his arms.

“Oh my dear, my dear (y/n)”

She watched from afar the wedding ceremony take place, her mother marrying Prince Daemon while her father had just lost his life hours ago. How ruthless can one be? She had enough when she saw them kiss, commanding her dragon to fly and land right in front of them. Everyone stepped back except the couple, Vermithor was one of the biggest dragons to ever grace the earth, an intimidating beast that (y/n) managed to claim stood before them while the girl looked down of them, tears streaming down her eyes.

“Congratulations to the happy couple. You two deserve each other, do not worry Rhaenyra I won’t spoil your marriage but just remember, I owe you a death”

(Y/n) flew and found safety to Pentos, she was greeted and treated like royalty as the Prince of Pentos gifted her a small castle and the land that surrounded it, (y/n) had changed from a girl to a cold hearted person in one nightfall. She trained until her feet bled, she had suffered so many injuries that after a while she didn’t really experience pain, (y/n) had cuts and scars all over her arms and legs from the battles she had part taken in honour of her grandsire Corlys, she stood by him and was willing to give her life towards his cause.

“The Faceless nightmare” was the nickname she had earned, a particular thing she had picked up was covering her face from the nose and down when she fought while her dragon flew above her and burned everything in her command, no one really knew what she looked like except her ice cold eyes, the most brutal and strongest soldier her grandisre had.

When Corlys laid ill of blood fever she could sense what was going to come for them, Vaemond was a crow that circled patiently until he saw a corpse he could feast on, specifically her grandsire, it truly disgusted her how can one secretly hope for the death of their own blood for glory.

“They cannot allow this grandsire, you are not dead”

“They know that my dearest, it is just another shot to Rhaenyra”

“I do not care about the throne but I must put a stop to this sick claim that wishes for you to die”

“Come here my little sea snake”

Corlys laid in his bed as (y/n) paced back and forth. The man could barely speak due to his fever, however as (y/n)s parental figure he felt obligated to support her in her delirium that had her causing up a storm with her circles.

(Y/n) complied, she sat next to his bed with her knees touching the floor as she took his warm hands in hers, his fever had gotten the best of him.

“Listen to me, you must go to the red keep on my behalf, back your mothers claim”

“No, I will not stand on her side”

“Your brother will be a good ruler, I know my brother and he will bring our Velaryon legacy to its knees. Don’t do it for her, do it for your grandsire, you will be heir one day, put your differences aside and do what’s right for the family”

When Rhaenyra arrived with her family at the red keep she was surprised to see the bronze fury outside of the castle, the humungous beast could only mean that her daughter was also close by, countless questions occupied her mind, has she sided with Vaemond? Was she here to claim driftmark for herself? Endless possible schemes made Rhaenyras head ache.

What was even more surprising was when Rhaenyra saw her daughter holding king Viserys as the walked in the throne room side by side.

“King Viserys of house Targaryen, the first of his name, king of the andals and the rhoynar and the first men, lord of the seven kingdoms and protector of the realm, with his grand daughter princess (y/n) Velaryon, princess of dragon stone and a swore knight to Lord Corlys Velaryon”

(Y/n) was still dressed in armour attire as she supported her grandsire, her face covered like she was going to battle, mentally she was, she would actually feel more comfortable if she charged in the room with her sword in hand as she slashed through every single one of them. Now she had to play pretend and act all prim and proper in the presence of “noble” people that most of them wanted her dead.

“My grandsire will sit on the iron throne today Lord Otto”

(Y/n) declared as the older man stepped aside, she was never fond of Otto, he had ambitions and was an extremely calculated person, there was no authenticity when it came to his behaviour.

Meeting her mothers eyes was surreal. She was covered in scars from wounds that had fully healed yet the scar that her mother had created all these years ago still bled, all a girl ever needs is her mother, (y/n) never had that and then Rhaenyra robbed her from her father as well.

“Here my king”

She whispered to Viserys as she assisted him to settle on the throne. The sick old man looked at his grand daughter, with his weak hand he reached up to take off the cloth that covered her face, she saw how Viserys smiled fondly at the sight of her face being exposed, under all this armour and the tough facade was his little grand daughter was hiding, as the moments went by he could see her clear as the sky.

“My dearest (y/n)”

He managed to speak, (y/n) leaned into his hand that caressed her cheek, the touch deprived teenager in her screamed for comfort as her grandsire showed the affection she had missed, if her father was here everything would have been so different.

“May I speak my king?”

“Of course”

(Y/n) left her grandsires side to join the others, before she spoke she walked towards her grandmothers side to hold her hand. Rhaenys squeeze with might, to gaze at her grand daughter was like looking into Laenor, Rhaenys adored (y/n) ever since she was born, she was completely aware of her sons nature and her arrival was gods gift.

“My grandsire Lord Corlys is alive and resting, his recovery is slow yet steady, he send me here as his messenger. Firstly, he told me to hold his wife tightly and tell her how much he missed her. Second, he is severely disheartened about any petitions when it comes to his successor, my grandsire has always wished for my brother to take his place at drift mark, he asks for my aunt Leanas daughters to be betrothed to Jacaerys and Lucerys so we can strengthen the Velaryon Legacy. Lastly I wish to announce my proposition on my betrothal, it is not tradition still I ask of king Viserys to allow my betrothal with Aemond Targaryen, I have been informed that he is a fine sword man as well as a mighty dragon rider, let us join our houses once again”

Whispers took over the room as the news of her betrothal were heard.(y/n) had not seen Aemond since the incident at driftmark, she was the only one to defend him that night as the others scarred him for life for what (y/n) considered a petty argument, till this day she could not forgive herself when it came to her fail of protecting the young boy, this was her way to make up for the damage she allowed to take place.

“What bliss! My dearest (y/n)-“

“No”

Rhaenyra interrupted the king. She was fuming, how dare she match in here and declare her betrothal to a green, she could not comprehend that her own daughter was scheming against her. (Y/n) spun to face her mother, confusion written all over her face, she had backed up Rhaenyras claim, she secured her brothers succession what more did she want?

“No?”

“You have some nerve, overshadowing your brothers with your so called wedding plans, you want driftmark to pass to your brother while you scheme against the throne”

“It is an honest offering to uphold the peace that you keep disturbing”

“It is a malicious and calculated movement against your own family, have you no shame?”

(Y/n) did not speak, she just kept eye contact with the woman she called mother. (Y/n) had pushed her pride aside, she swallowed her pain, she ran away and came back to support her, yet nothing was good enough. Tears welled up in (y/n)s eyes as Rhaenyra scoffed at the vulnerable movement of her daughter that she thought was another play for manipulation.

“Tears? Really?”

“That is enough! As your king I command you to stop”

“You speak of family? All I ever craved was your love, I did everything to make you proud and you casted me aside, what do they have that I don’t? You were my mother”

“settle down now”

(Y/n) heard Aemond whisper to her at an attempt to console her while he rubbed her upper arms compassionately, tears had managed to escape (y/n)s eyes as she tried so desperately to find some type of emotion in her mothers eyes.

Aemond felt his heart ache at the sight, (y/n) had managed to go from a fierce warrior to a little girl in a blink of an eye, begging for a crumb of her mothers affection, he could not stand for it.

He had always kept the warm memory of her standing between him and her brothers to protect him in his mind for all these years or when she held his hand while the maester stitched up his eye, she was gentle soul which was something he could not say he would often listen to stories about her brothers.

Aemond would sometimes listen to conversations about (y/n)s accomplishments and admire her courage, now it was time for him to pay her back with the same kindness.

“The matter is settled, again. I hereby reaffirm prince Jacaerys of house Velaryon as heir to driftmark, the driftwood throne and the next lord of the tides. Let it be known that princess (y/n) of house Velaryon is betrothed to my son prince Aemond Targaryen, after their wedding (y/n) will be announced as my successor as I declare that my throne will pass to princess (y/n), making prince Aemond the next king consort”

“What?”

“Father you cannot-“

“You are a cruel woman Rhaenyra, your own daughter came from the battlefield to support you, to honour your family and you spoke in such… viciousness. You are not worthy of the throne, but (y/n)…. She is… destined to become a legend”

The man started to breathe heavy as you could listen to the pain he was experiencing. (Y/n) froze in her spot while Aemond held her hand, an act of intimacy he performed to show support in his betrothed, her hand was cold as Aemonds thumb made circles on her flesh, a subtle way to say “I am here”

“Let us be done with this”

Was the last thing the king declared before his wife tended to him and called for the maesters. If looks could kill Rhaenyra would have stabbed her daughter right in the heart, that was until Aemond did what (y/n) had done for him in his time of need, he took one step to stand in front of (y/n), acting like a human shield for the vulnerable woman while her mother was ready to assault her.

“Congratulations nephew, I look forward to the small court meetings we will attend together”

Aemond teased Jacaerys, he had no reason to do it other than taking the attention off of (y/n) who gripped his hand with all her might, before Jacaerys could respond Aemond turned his back on them and wrapped a hand around (y/n)s shoulders, to him it seemed like he was putting a wall between them and her, a wall (y/n) desperately needed.

(Y/n) gazed up at him with eyes full of gratitude, her bottom lip trembling as she put a fight to not sob in his arms, Aemond was a stranger, a distant family member yet he rose to the occasion better than her immediate family.

(Y/n) had to admit that after years of fighting and killing it felt nice to allow someone to protect her, even if the person he protected her from was the woman that broke her hips and went through hours of pain. (Y/n) thought of how she had paid back for those labour pains, (y/n) had been in pain all her life.

“Come along (y/n), I believe we have so much to talk about”

Requests are open!

@lightdragonrayne

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queenofmalkier · 5 months

Note

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

#wheel of time #wheel of time tv series #wheel of time book spoilers #moiraine damodred #can i make it work responses

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

Note

Am I the asshole for how I dealt with this child ar my part time job?

After I left my college after one semester due to how much I hated the environment of it, I’ve come back home, applied to other colleges, and found a part time job at a trampoline park. It has all kinds of things, like a zip line, laser maze, the whole shebang. I work as a court monitor and make sure kids are safe and whatnot. We do rotations for every stations so one person isn’t super stressed, especially cause some sections are more high maintenance than others.

Anywho, I was managing the laser maze section and I notice this boy. He’s coming up and talking to me, I try and be patient cause kids are dumb. They come up and comment on stupid shit all the time. But then he tries to cut the line, go in during other people’s games, the whole thing. I tell him off, and I think that’s that.

Nope. During my next rotation I’m in the middle area of the platform, where we have dive trampolines and silks. And I know kids are notoriously greedy with silks, so I keep an eye out, make sure to tell kids to share and whatnot. Lo and behold, I see this kid. I can kinda tell already this kid is special needs, so I try and be nice. I ask him how long he’s been on there, then go ask a parent who’s been watching. Kid tells me he’s only been on there for two minutes, but the mom watching says he’s been on there for a while. I tell the kid he needs to get off (nicely btw) and that he needs to share but he throws a fuss. I tell the dad (trying to be nice) and dad gets him off.

Later on I have to warn the kid about going into the laser maze when others are in there. Dad seems pissed off, but honestly I’m just trying to keep this kid out of trouble because his dad is not doing shit about his behavior towards others and their surroundings, nor does he ever get off his phone.

The last straw was when I was looking over the super tramps. I made sure to tell everyone to stay off the black mats surrounding the trampolines and that only 1 person can be on a single tramp at a time. A mom asked me if her tiny kids can go on even if it’s twice at a time. I allowed it, since they’re small and the mom was watching. I talked to the mom a bit, making small talk and making sure she was ok with how I was dealing with things because I know I can be strict and parents are protective. And she mentions the kid coming onto the tramp and how dangerous it was. Like she didn’t even have to mention what he looked like, and when I asked she said yes.

Next thing I know, this kid legit runs onto the damn tramps where they’re at and starts to jump. Out of surprise and shock (because I was watching the tramps and didn’t know he was behind me) I yelled out. And his dad did not like it. Like, I tried to be patient with this kid, but he’s been causing a bunch of problems with other customers and it’s not been great. And his dad is just enabling his behavior.

I try to explain the rules and regulations and what I saw what his son was about to do, but he didn’t even let me explain. He’s complaining that his son knows the rules, and that he was just watching. I try and tell him that he was about to run into these kids on their turn on the super tramp, and the mom also tried to defend me. It got messy to the point he kept saying that it’s my bias against his son for being autistic, but no, it isn’t. And I have two moms to back me up, although one wasn’t there. I tried to reason with this guy, be he wasn’t having it.

I eventually got a manager to talk to him and idk how it ended up, but after I walked away? Man…I just felt so overwhelmed. I never knew what I was holding back until tears just began streaming down. Like man, kids are enough to deal with and I can handle that. But adults legit accusing me of shit like that? God I felt fucking defenseless.

Luckily the managers let me go home early to decompress, but also took my side and understood. Hell, I met the mom watching the silks in the bathroom and she understood.

I’m just trying to do my job man… I really wish I didn’t have to deal with that today.

But… am I the asshole for how I tried to deal with this kid? I am aware of how autism is so diverse and the basics, and I know I need to work on how I deal with kids. And even if I’m really bothered by how this dad deals with his kid and how…idk enabling it feels towards his behavior? I just don’t know. And if I need to I’ll take it if I’m the asshole for how I dealt with it.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 7 months

Text

The Vampire of Bebbanburg

Note: happy spooky season!

Warnings: angst, mention of death, blood- basically; don't read if you don't like vampires and everything that comes with them.

pairing: Vampire!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: You met the vampire you had heard so many stories about.

wordcount: 3,5k

Masterlist

'I promise you will never feel alone again.'

You were the only one who had ever seen him and continued to live another day. Him. Sihtric Kjartansson. The vampire of Bebbanburg, as townsfolk called him in whispers. They would never dare to say the title out loud, for the fright of summoning him to their door or window in the dead of night, where he would enchant them with his eyes to invite him in. Fear for the bloodthirsty creature was settled deeply into the bones of everyone in town, and even beyond, even if no one had actually truly seen him in the flesh, with their own eyes. And those who had, didn't live to tell the tale.

And before you had laid eyes on him, you had also only heard the stories, like everyone else. Stories that were told to children in a candlelit bedroom, when it was dark outside. Stories that were told to keep young adults away from the castle at the beach. Stories that made parents and grandparents barricade their doors and nail shut their windows, when the days became shorter and the nights longer. And the story you knew had been told to you by your grandma, when you were young, on a cold October night.

'Sihtric Kjartansson,' she had said as she tucked you in, and you asked about the tale, 'was a warrior when he possessed a beating heart still, hundreds of years ago. Skilled with sword, blade and axe all the same. Strong and handsome he was too, and still is, even after he was cursed with eternal life and a hunger for blood. And ever since he turned, he only leaves the castle at night. He is the one who roams in the shadows. He is the one who peeks through the tiny gap in your curtains. He is the one who scratches softly at your door. His fangs are sharper than those of a wolf, and his eyes… he is capable of sending a shiver down even the Devil's own spine. He never aged since the day he was bitten by God knows what kind of foul creature, nor did he ever lose his charm or strength. And one look into his mismatched eyes is enough to fall under his spell. The vampire is not to be trusted, no matter how sweet his words or how breathtaking his beauty.'

And back then, like every child, you thought it was just a story to keep you up at night and away from the castle during your teens. But as you grew older and came to witness the many rotting bodies that were discovered throughout the years in the river, completely deprived of blood, fear for the vampire had also settled deeply into your bones.

And that night, before you saw him, before you fell under his spell, you felt a shiver go down your spine as you made haste to go home, remembering the story your grandma had told you many years ago, as it was once again a cold October night. Being one of the few healers in town meant you often were called to help people, no matter the time, and that night you only just left a poorly sick man near midnight, having spent hours making concoctions to treat the man's pain. But you knew just like him; his time was up, the sickness had gotten him in its claws. And when the family requested to say goodbye in peace, you left them and went on your way home.

You made haste past the town's square and past the church. And you stopped in front of the entrance of the fogged up graveyard next to it. The graveyard was a shortcut to your home, which you gladly used during the day, but always avoided at night. And yet, for some reason you contemplated taking the shortcut that night, as you desperately wanted to go home and safely lock the door behind you.

After taking a deep breath, you stepped into the fog. You weren't able to walk as fast as you wished, as you needed to mind your step. The graveyard was old and not in use anymore. Over time, crosses and headstones had broken and fallen over, making it a hazard to walk over its hallowed ground in the dark. Luckily, the full Moon accompanied you, but the thick fog that reached up to your knees was still reason enough to be cautious. And halfway through the graveyard, you suddenly stopped upon hearing the sound of a whimper. You held your breath as you looked around, but everything was quiet again and nothing to be seen as you stood there for seconds, listening.

And just when you hiked your skirt up again to continue your walk, and the moon hid behind a sudden cloud, the faint sound returned. You stepped closer into its direction as it continued, worried that someone had also meant to take a shortcut and had fallen over the countless broken memorial pieces, thus getting hurt. As a healer, you could never turn away from a cry for help, no matter how faint, no matter how late at night.

As you closed in on the soft cries, you found a man down on his knees, his back towards you as he was bent over something he cradled in his arms. You felt a sudden uneasiness creep over you as you stepped closer in the mist. And when the moon suddenly reappeared again, you saw that what he was holding in his arms, was the now lifeless body of who's whimpers you had heard only seconds before, while life was being sucked out. And that's when you knew that the man who had his back turned to you was him. Him. Sihtric Kjartansson, the vampire of Bebbanburg. The one who had terrorised this town for centuries, and continued to do so.

You had caught him in the act of feasting, a horrible act you had only heard stories about.

You held your breath as you stared at his broad back, your heart beating so loud it caught his attention. Then, with a thump, the vampire dropped the still warm body down onto the cold, wet grass, and the thick fog suddenly disappeared as he got up from his knees. You were frozen, nailed to the ground as he turned towards you and snapped his head up. The bright moon light revealed his awfully pale skin, and his lips, curled into a smile, were painted red with fresh blood, which dripped down his chin. Then, in the blink of an eye, the vampire suddenly stood in front of you, faster than humanly possible, and he towered over you as you became trapped with your back against an old, broken mausoleum. The vampire chuckled and wiped his mouth with his hand, only to then lick the blood off his own pale, tattooed fingers. And a devilish smile revealed his sharp, red stained teeth.

'Are you lost, little girl?' Sihtric asked, his voice warm and honeyed, whereas the hand that gently brushed your cheek was cold and rough.

And then, foolishly, you stared up into his mismatched eyes.

'Do you know it is not safe for,' Sihtric licked his lips and exhaled sharply, 'such a beautiful lady to be out on her own, this late at night?' he took your chin, 'perhaps, you were hoping to find someone who will take you home with them, hm?'

'Perhaps,' you breathed, enchanted by his piercing eyes.

'Perhaps?' he smiled and leaned in, his lips grazed your ear before he deeply inhaled your scent, 'perhaps you wish to tell me the reason our paths have crossed tonight?' he asked, and ran his tongue over your neck.

'I… I am a healer,' you said, just as Sihtric had unclenched his jaw, ready to sink his teeth in your flesh and draw your blood, 'I was merely on my way home after a house visit,' you continued.

And then he slowly pulled away to stare down into your eyes again.

'A healer, you say?' he asked, intrigued, 'what a sweet thing you must be,' he said, 'helping the people of this town. You must know all those who are sickly and those who are healthy, no?'

'Perhaps,' you smiled, completely smitten.

Often, when people spoke of the vampire, they spoke of a wild, savage man. A beast, a creature of the night. But the man in front of you, just as your grandma had told you, was a handsome, charming man, despite his long messy hair and the several scars that graced his pale face. His dark cloak was thick, made of good fur, and his leather tunic underneath showed he was a wealthy man. He was mysterious, his calm energy captivated you, and you couldn't tear your eyes off him.

'Perhaps,' Sihtric chuckled softly, realising he had a use for you, 'then perhaps,' the vampire spoke with a smoky voice, 'will you allow me to invite you to my castle, my lady?' he asked and held his hand out.

And without the ability to think for yourself, you allowed him to take your hand, upon which he pressed a kiss, before he took you to his castle.

The castle of Bebbanburg.

'So tell me,' the vampire husked as he left soft, wet kisses on your neck, 'do you have a husband? Or anyone else who shouldn't know about our time together tonight?'

'No,' you giggled upon his hungry touch while you sat in front of his fireplace, in his castle, 'no husband. And everyone I loved has unfortunately passed already, due to the sickness. I'm... I'm all alone.'

'Poor little girl,' Sihtric purred, his fangs lightly touching your neck, 'I promise you will never feel alone again.'

You gazed into the creature's eyes when he pulled away. Those eyes which had been so dark when you met, but seemed softened now as he leaned in. The fire crackled softly, and when Sihtric's lips met yours for a passionate kiss, you closed your eyes and surrendered. His hands moved all over your warm skin, while you grabbed onto every piece of his clothing you possibly could, wanting to keep him close.

Once you were both completely stripped of clothes, and you felt him inside you, you wrapped your arms and legs around him and felt weightless. It felt as if your whole world was turned upside down as you made love with him. Him. The vampire, who kissed and licked every inch of your body, and whispered sweet, haunting words in your ear in between his kisses. And when you opened your eyes again, you were pinned up against the high ceiling of the castle, safely wrapped in Sihtric's arms as you continued to enjoy each other. Then, when you both reached your high after hours and hours of love making, he cut your lip with his sharp nail and kissed you deeply as he drank you, just a little taste he couldn't resist.

Sihtric moaned and whined as his intense grip held you in place, struggling to contain himself as you had the sweetest blood he had ever tasted in his neverending lifetime. He wanted to drain you of your vital fluid. But he also wanted to use you. Use you for his own benefit.

The vampire had grown tired of hunting his meals as of late.

Each night he would go out and stalk his prey, after sniffing them out for hours, making sure it would be a good feast of clean blood. There was a sickness spreading in the country, and it became harder each night to find healthy blood around town. And since you are a healer, you knew exactly who is healthy and whose blood was contaminated already. You could perhaps lure the healthy townsfolk into a trap, one by one, for Sihtric to drink.

He contemplated his options as he held you in his arms, the taste of your fresh blood lingering on his tongue. But then, when you closed your eyes again and wrapped your arms around his neck a little tighter, lovingly, a whole new hunger washed over him. After he carefully brought you back down onto the furs, in front of his fireplace, he became overwhelmed with the urge to make you his wife. To grant you eternal life by his side. And when you fell asleep in his arms, he made no attempt to get rid of you, as he would have done with any other lady he had lured into his castle.

Instead, he slowly dragged his lips over your neck and allowed himself a little more of your taste, but carefully, so as not to kill you or harm you.

You slept for days on end, waking up only for several minutes before dozing off again. Each time you woke up you remembered your time with Sihtric. How he had made you feel loved while making love to you, and how you felt safe in his arms after he had tired you out. You desperately longed for his touch and dreamed of him every time your eyes fell shut again. You dreamt how he would enter your sleeping chamber, and would caress your cheek and kiss your lips, before he'd gently move your hair out of your neck, to leave soft kisses on your skin. A pleasant dream it was, which reoccurred every few hours.

After several days you finally felt like you had regained some of your strength again, and you dressed up after you bathed. By the time you were ready to leave the chamber you had slept in, it was night time again.

You quietly strolled down the endless spiralling stairs of the large castle, holding a torch in your hand to illuminate your path, until you reached the massive living room again. You couldn't recall how many days ago it was since you had last been there, but you felt strangely at home in the seemingly empty room.

'I take it you feel better?' Sihtric's voice startled you as he stepped out of a dark corner, 'you have been asleep for many days.' He gently took your face in his cold hands, 'Have I been too much for you, perhaps?'

'No,' you felt your cheeks heat, and your head was spun upon the sight of him, 'no, you have not been too much. I just cannot remember a time I ever had such a good rest or… such a good lover.'

'Both which you deserved,' he smiled, 'come,' he said and took your hand, 'dine with me. I have an important question to ask, my lady.'

Eyes big with surprise and admiration, you allowed Sihtric to guide you through a large, dark hallway, into his warm, cosy dinner area. A large table was set for only two, but it could easily fit up to fifty guests. Sihtric helped you take a seat, and then sat down next to you, at the head of the table. He was, afterall, the man of the castle. The candles in front of you casted a comforting glow on his pale skin, making him look more… alive. And you smiled softly at him when he took your hand.

'Is it not lonely to live in a place like this all alone?' you asked.

'Who says I live alone?' Sihtric smiled.

'You… do not?'

'I have people here,' he said, 'not in a romantic way,' he reassured you quickly, 'only you have managed to wake something up inside of me that had been asleep for centuries.'

You blushed upon the charming man's words. No man had ever made you feel special in ways he seemed to do so effortlessly.

'I have a gift for you,' Sihtric said and reached inside the pocket of his long, black robe.

He took out a golden necklace with a small, amber pendant, and moved behind you to attach it around your neck.

'There,' he said, his hands lingered on your shoulders a little longer before he sat back in his seat again.

'Do you have a mirror?' you asked, 'so I can see how it looks on me?'

'Of course, my lady,' Sihtric said and was quick to pick up a reflective dinner plate from the table, which he then held up to you.

'Oh, Sihtric. It's beautiful,' you gasped at the sight of the necklace, 'thank you.'

You smiled a little shyly as you kept staring at the necklace, but then, when you brushed your hair back over your shoulder, your eyes suddenly caught two dark marks on your neck. And you froze. Sihtric's face grew confused, then concerned when he noticed what you had discovered.

'You… you have been… d-drinking me?' you stammered, hurt and betrayed.

'I can explain,' Sihtric said, calmly.

But the fear that was deeply rooted into your bones suddenly made you snap out of your love-like trance. You jumped up, causing the heavy, oaken chair tip over behind you with a loud thump, and you quickly stepped back as Sihtric tried to reach for your hand.

'Please,' he said, almost desperate, 'allow me to explain!'

'No, you…,' you breathed heavily as you backed away, 'you were really there- there, in my chamber, weren't you? All those dreams were… they were real? You've been feeding off me. You've been slowly killing me!' you cried out, and Sihtric tried to take your hand again.

You screamed and ran, quickly grabbing one of the torches on the wall behind you, and you held it towards Sihtric as he closed in on you.

'No!' he shouted, and with a loud hiss he covered his face with his arms.

And then, he exploded in a swarm of a thousand bats, which went up all the way to the high ceiling, and out the window, into the dark night. And you ran. You ran as fast as you could, torch in hand, down the first stairs you saw, hoping to escape the castle. The staircase seemed to spiral down endlessly, until you finally reached a cold, dark hallway. A foul smell overwhelmed your senses, and as you peeked into one of the basement chambers, you found the stench was caused by uncountable rotting corpses, which had all been drained of blood some time ago. You gagged at the sight, and smell, and you ran back up the stairs.

Panicked and completely out of breath, you ended up in the dinner room again, and as you turned to run towards the living room, you suddenly collided into Sihtric, who grabbed your arms and shoved you harshly against the wall.

'Why!' he shouted, 'why must you run!?'

'Because you are a murderer!' you cried out, 'a… a horrible creature! I and... I thought I loved you!'

'I could've given you the world,' Sihtric said softly, his eyes teared up as he took your face in his cold hand, 'I fell in love with you. I was only preparing you for eternal life, with me. But… but you don't deserve it,' his pained face became furious, 'you don't deserve it! And now you- you have forced me to kill you! I did not want this!'

'No, please-' you begged.

'There is no other way,' he exhaled, and a tear fell down his face as he leaned his forehead against yours, 'I am sorry, my sweet thing. But I cannot let one live to tell the tale. The real tale.'

'Please, no, we… we can try!' you whimpered, 'we can try and be together?' you bargained for your life, 'please!'

'No,' Sihtric whispered, his lips touching your ear, 'you are afraid. I can smell it. If you are afraid of me, it means we are not destined. No matter how much it hurts me,' he swallowed hard, 'maybe, we will find each other in another life.'

'No! Please!' you cried as his teeth sank in your neck.

And it only took seconds before your body went numb and your eyes heavy, and then, everything went dark.

The vampire held you in his arms as he kneeled down, and he cried. For the first time in centuries he truly cried.

'I'm sorry,' Sihtric whispered as he cried, and he kissed your lips one last time, 'I promise I will find you, my love, when you are ready for us to be together. No matter how much time will pass, we will find each other again. I promise,' he said and a tear fell down on your face, 'I promise, little bat.'

And only days later, after having lived for centuries, Sihtric welcomed his death, when a sudden army of townsfolk stormed the castle. Still heartbroken over you, he never fought back when they chained him up, and tied him to a pole on a hill. Sihtric never attempted to escape, which he could have done so easily. Instead, he gladly accepted his fate of being burned at stake by sunlight, with the whole town to witness it. But before the vampire would burn, the people took another opportunity to hurt the monster that had taken so many lives without any punishment.

And a silver sword was pushed into his waist, seconds before the sun appeared.

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1 @moonchildrenandflowercrowns

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #vampire au #vampire!Sihtric #spooky fic #vampire

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goingmerryfics · 26 days

Text

Turned into a child w/ Sanji, Robin, & Ace

Content: GN reader, fully platonic/familial relationship since they are literally children here. Light One Piece Backstory Spoilers

Notes* In this scenario, they’ve been turned into a child by an unnamed devil fruit user. They don’t retain their adult memories, but they remember everything after it wears off! I wanted to do this prompt for a while because these three really deserve some hugs and love

Content with spoilers: hinting at past child abuse

Sanji

He’s. BABY

He doesn’t know where he is and he’s scared, so you find him hiding under the table after you weren’t able to find him in the usual spots on the ship

You didn’t understand the situation at first, but you couldn’t miss those cute little curly brows

You call his name, and he looks even more confused at the fact that a stranger knows his name

So you move to sit on your knees a safe distance away from Sanji so he can feel a little safer

You only knew bits and pieces of the treatment he went through with his birth father and siblings, but it was enough to understand why he would be scared of adults. So you offer him a soft smile, full of patience

You assure him that everything is ok, he’s safe, and that you aren’t going to hurt him

Slowly he starts to emerge from under the table and asks where he is

You offer your hand to him, asking if he’d like to see

He’s hesitant, but you look so sweet, so he trusts you and takes your hand

You take him out of the room to see the ocean and his eyes light up

It makes your heart ache

He looks at you with a big smile

“Is this the All Blue!?”

You gently tell him that no, not quite. But he is on a ship that’s trying to find it, and he looks out over the railing, scanning the horizon

Sanji is sweet on everyone, loving the attention from the girls (as always) and yet still getting into tiffs with Zoro, even at this young age

You have to stop Zoro from trying to fight him

Everyone loves hanging out with little Sanji, and he keeps gravitating back to you with a big smile

He doesn’t seem to remember Zeff when you ask him, so you leave it be

He still cooks for everyone come dinner, but you’re there to help him- especially when he cuts his finger

You calm him- you almost cried when he did -and then kiss his bandaged finger for him to help him feel better

The next day when he returns to his proper age, he shuts himself up in the kitchen in embarrassment, baking anything he can think of so he doesn’t have to face everyone

Robin

It was almost impossible to find her the morning of. Poor thing was so worried that she hid too, just a little bit better than Sanji did

When you do find her, it’s in the storage room of the ship, and she’s already crying

You quickly assure her that she’s not in trouble, nor are you going to giver her to the marines

She’s not comforted about the fact that she’s in a pirate ship though, so she might be around the age after Ohara’s death, maybe a few years after being on the run

She was open with you about her past after the events of Enei’s lobby, but it was always painful to talk about so you never pressed the subject

She didn’t look like she was going to be leaving anytime soon, so you promise to get her some things to make her stay more comfortable

You bring her a blanket and some of her favorite books, which she perks up at

Sanji enters to pass off a snack and almost passes out from how cute and little she is

You totally agree with him, but you still have to shove him out before he frightens her too badly

She only seems to touch her snack when you’re not looking

You didn’t want to leave her completely on her own so you were keeping her company

The more time passed and the more the crew poked in to say hello, the more she began to relax

She started to ask you questions- like help with reading a big word, or about how she got on the ship

That one was a little harder to explain, so you simply said you weren’t sure but that she had the whole crew protecting her from any big bag marines

You were glad that there were no bases of theirs in your path for now

Eventually you’re able to coax her out of the storage room just in time for dinner

She sits next to you and keeps looking around cautiously- the group was chaotic, and you were worried that maybe it would scare her back into her shell

But it actually does the opposite, and you’re happy that she’s finally relaxed

When she returns to normal, she thanks you for being by her side and calming her down when she needed it

Ace

The absolute biggest asshole ever

Adult Ace was this cocky, flirty, goofy guy. He was fun and knew how to have a good time

But him as a child is the worst

He is, max, 10 years old and the most conniving little shit

Not only did he go straight to throwing hands when you accidentally uncovered him hiding in the pantry stuffing his face, but he kicked you in the knee before running out to find a new spot

You’d warned Marco and any of the others you passed after that while your knee ached in pain

It wasn’t long until he was eventually found again, this time by Whitebeard of all people, which ended up with them fighting

It was clear that Whitebeard was trying to go easy on the little guy, but he was getting annoyed

Eventually Ace is picked up by the ankle and held out in front of him almost akin to garbage while he flung around, swinging his arms wildly and kicking at Whitebeard’s wrist

“Let go of me, you stupid old man!”

It took a while, but eventually you, Marco, and Whitebeard managed to calm him down enough to talk to him

He sat with his arms crossed and sour

He was only acting out as a fear response due to his lack of memory, of course

But you were still kind of unhappy when it was decided that you were babysitting him

Ace owes you big time

But even with the attitude he gives, if he’s not throwing hands, he’s a pretty cute little guy

You spend the whole day talking about your adventures on the crew when you realize that’s what piques his interest

Suddenly he’s all smiles and he’s engaging with you happily

At dinner, he still stuffs his face and falls asleep at random right there at the table

You carry him to your room to sleep there since someone needed to pick up on Ace’s missed duties today, and when you return he’s still asleep, but back to his usual age

So you scream for him to wake up and apologize for kicking you

He laughs, the dickhead, and apologizes.

“I’ll kiss it better if you want. But tell me- was I a cute kid?”

#one piece #harleywritesop #hwop #op sanji #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #op robin #nico robin #devil child nico robin #ace op #ace one piece #one piece ace #fire fist ace #portgas d ace #portgas d. ace

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shaunamilfman · 5 months

Text

Dating Lottienat

pre-crash headcanons

Lottie and you would definitely start hooking up in a fwb situation where you started messing around because both of you knew the other had feelings for Nat. it began as a getting over Nat by getting under someone else, but you guys ended up falling for each other as well and further complicated the situation.

Nat walks in on y'all messing around one day and gets super jealous, so yall just decide to fuck about it. Nat would definitely assume she was just a hookup for the both of you and would avoid the two of you after instead of having to be emotionally vulnerable for even a second.

you and lottie corner her in the locker room after practice one day and are all like “not even going to call us after?”/ “your child support payment is late 😒”. Nat's ass is so confused but is all for it after a quick conversation about how you guys feel about her.

she just giddily follows the two of you around school for the next few days. she'd be ever so smug about it, but she'd also be super whipped for the both of yall. whenever she gets particularly insufferable Lottie just bats her eyelashes all like “could you get me a soda from the vending machine?” and Nat just 🏃💨

you and Lottie having competitions to see which one of you can embarrass Nat the quickest in public. Lottie for sure has absolutely no shame and would enjoy a good competition. Poor Nat suffers the consequences of your competitive streak though. Imagining Nat burying her head in your shoulder and blushing to her ears in embarrassment over something Lottie did in public. Lottie giving you a smug look in the background as she practically skips over to the two of you.

you and Nat would spend a lot of time at Lottie's empty house. Both Lottie and Nat view home as a particularly stressful place, and they'd really blossom if given a safe place to actually consider home. Nat and Lottie both would really let their guards down if given consistent positive attention, which neither of them have ever really received before.

it does not matter what position you fell asleep in, because you will not wake up that way. You're not sure if the two of them do it in their sleep, or if they purposely do it after the others have fallen asleep but you always wake up in the weirdest positions. Once you fell asleep spooning Lottie and woke up somehow spooning Nat. Neither you nor Lottie could figure out the logistics of that one, but Nat was surprisingly tight-lipped about it.

After falling asleep laying fully on top of Nat and waking up with half your torso being pulled off of her by Lottie you tried to feign sleep to catch them in the act. Either it really was done unconsciously or they were smart enough to realize you were still awake, but you gave up trying to catch them after two nights of nothing.

Lottie loves when you wear her clothes. T-shirts, pants, socks, doesn't matter as long as it belongs to her. Nat, on the other hand, is mostly apathetic to the whole thing. She's never been particularly possessive in that way. She does, however, go absolutely feral the first time she walks in and sees you fast asleep in nothing but her boxers and her nirvana t-shirt. There's something about that specific combination that just drives her wild.

speaking of which, one of the biggest fights the three of you ever get in is when you and Lottie plot together to buy Nat's letterman. She's beyond angry when she finds out and yell about the two of you going behind her back, but really she's just embarrassed. She thinks the two of you buying the jacket for her is a negative reflection on her. The fight really only ends when you interrupt her to sheepishly admit that you and Lottie hadn't bought it with her in mind, and instead were planning split custody of it. She sputters in disbelief and she looks between the two of you and blushes all the way up to her ears. She goes bright red and shyly turns away every time the two of you see her for the next week. You do end up having a serious conversation about it, but you can't help but enjoy the way she hungrily watches you every time you wear it.

Lottie has a love-hate relationship for when her parents call to cancel their visits with her. As a kid she always hated it and would be inconsolable for days; Not, of course, that she had anyone that would try to console her. Now she has pretty mixed feelings about the whole thing. She so desperately wants her parents to love her, but at the same time she knows now that that isn't what love should look like. She still cries sometimes when they cancel, but sometimes she doesn't. Everytime they call you and Nat are there to pick up the pieces. You bring her to bed with you and hold her between the two of you until she falls asleep, not letting go until you have to get ready for school the next morning.

Nat and Lottie always get upset when your parents demand that you come home, though they're both too embarrassed to admit it. Still, you can't help but notice the intensity of their clinginess at school until your parents allow you to return.

#lottie matthews x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets x reader

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safehouse-if · 1 year

Text

Safe house

There's a rumour about the mob family, ruling over a bustling port city. A five generation enterprise with loyal followers, deep pockets and enough hands and brainpower to rule the city from behind the veil of legality.

Legality that is build on bribes, threats and politics going back decades.

The next generation of Desoto family was getting ready to step into power, to rule as their right was, when there was a betrayal. A right hand of the oldest child of Desoto head, known only as Wraith on the streets, spilled their guts out to the law.

Became a little song bird, spilling secrets.

Now the old man Desoto is sitting behind bars, waiting trial and the family is for the first time having to face consequences of their actions. But why were they betrayed?

On the other side of the country, in a middle sized town, in a new suburb called Avalon Acres a new couple moves in.

It’s not a surprise. Avalon Acres is everything a person could want. Outdoor activities, enough life to sustain multiple local businesses and actually four different seasons to enjoy. The modern white architectured houses built into the hills and woods certainly attract all manner of life.

Play as Wraith, an ex mobster turned informant hiding for their life

Choose your own gender/pronouns

Customise your appearance

Make a living in a quiet suburb or chafe against the boredom

Reflect on your life and the choices that made you jump on the side of the law

Learn a hobby

Find love? Or maybe just share a bed with someone

Safe House is intended for 18+ audience as it follows an ex-mob enforcer’s life in protective custody and as such deals with trauma, ptsd, violence and sex. However violence will not be a prominent part of the story, nor told in great detail. This age limit is rather set for the writer’s comfort.

Ariana “Ari” / Arnaldo “Arno” Holloway

Tall and athletic, they are the agent who brought you in and are now your fake partner as well as your handler while you wait for the trial. Calm and collected most of the time with penchant for comfortable clothes and intellectual challenges.

Tropes: enemies to friends to lovers, fake marriage

Roberta “Bob” Vernell

A nice young woman living next door, who loves all things geeky and is always smiling at you. If you don’t mind that she rarely goes out of her house and keeps suspiciously close eye on the neighborhood. As if she was the one hiding from the mob and not you.

tropes: nice girl from next door, protect at all cost

Eli Short

This guy keeps running by your house with his dog and inviting you for a barbie. Whatever that is. Apparently lives a couple doors down with his mother and works at the local fine dining restaurant. Keeps trying to feed you and get you to pet his dog.

tropes: nice boy from next door, himbo

Soline/Severin Desoto

Did you grow up together as friends or were you always just their puppet? The one who pulled Wraith’s strings for all that time. Sleek and preppy appearance hides a temper and penchant for the adrenaline rush behind good manners and old money. You will never go back. Right?

Trope: red flag relationship, pining

Links:

Demo TBA Home

Ariana/Arnaldo

Roberta

Eli

Soline/Severin

Want to be part of the process? If interested I’d welcome help in writing/creating/editing/coding if this idea seems interesting to you.

#safe house if #sh_if #interactive fiction #interactive story #wip game #twine if #twine story #if wip

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simpingforblackfire · 4 months

Note

i LOVED the aggressive babying. reader is humiliated and they just doesn't understand why

mabye because you want to dress? and bath? an adult??

how would they punish reader for misbehaviour/for trying to run away

orrrrrrr

for trying to harm herself? the babying and overprotectiveness will be intensify like crazyyyy

A/N: My bad this took so long. I decided to do both scenarios because I probably would eventually anyway :)

Where reader tries to run away:

"If you think this is going to be forgotten you're mistaken"

Dick knew that technically he didn't really need to punish you for you to get the message. Not encouraging Starfire to tone down with you so she doesn't smother you would be punishment enough. But this hurt. This hurt and for him to forgive you he needed you to understand just what you've done to him.

You didn't get far. But the fact that you got anywhere was enough for worry to creep and break the dam of their fears loose. It took hold of them like a poison.

Starfire's initial thought was to break your legs.

It would be so easy. You were so young and weak and feeble. Your legs were weak anyway. You didn't hold a grain of the strength she possessed. It was hard to sympathise with your loss when there was so little strength in what you had anyway.

But she loved you. She loved you and she didn't want to see you hurt nor did she want to clip your freedom. Humans couldn't fly and she couldn't imagine a world in which she couldn't fly. But to immobilise her by preventing her from walking? That was a cruelty she wouldn't wish on anyone. Still she wanted to. You might not think it but she felt guilty sometimes keeping you in the house all of the time and not letting you out.

But then she would remember how you were when she first met you. So young, and wide-eyed, vulnerable and completely unregulated. She needed to take you and keep you here where you were safe. You didn't belong in a world as cruel and dangerous as this. You didn't need your legs to live. You didn't need your legs to be happy. It was a small sacrifice if it meant ensuring you would live.

But she wouldn't stand to see you hurt and she couldn't bare the look of hate in your eyes that you would give her. You might have washed her trust away with ease but no matter how hard you scrubbed you couldn't get rid of her love.

She had mused the thought of breaking your legs to Dick, who said that was tempting but would be a drastic action, as it would harm you so significantly and would lead to your distrust of them. They had not hurt you physically. Dick intended to keep things that way for as long as possible. You would not see them as monsters.

Dick had known your running away was inevitable. He'd been anticipating it happening since they decided to keep you. A voice had whispered in the back of his mind that perhaps you wouldn't. That you wanted to stay more than you missed your old life. But he dusted away those thoughts and found he was right to. It hurt. He loves you. But he knew that you would. That's why they had to keep you with them after all. You were too naive and ignorant and unknowing of the true ways of the world to be on your own. Of course you ran away. Of course you made the wrong choice. You didn't know any better.

He'd seen too many people have their innocence stolen from them. No one got to be innocent. You either bloodied your heart or your hands. Only monsters got to live. He'd ensure that you'd never lose that childish naivety of yours. The glint of youth in your eyes would never leave. He'd always be there to polish it and make sure it would never fade to the dirt of the world.

They had to punish you. You were but a child. Children had to be taught. So, they kept you immobile. They hadn't broken any bones or physically harmed you. At least not on purpose. You arms were littered with bruises where Starfire had gripped you too hard when she grabbed hold of you. Your waist too was lined with shapes of blue and purple where Dick had pulled you too forcefully in his desperation to get you back.

They kept you locked up more than you had been. They carried you everywhere you went. You weren't allowed to so much as move on your own. You were kept still at all times.

Eventually you broke when they wouldn't let you feed yourself. Starfire smiled and it was almost cruel that it was so tender and genuine in its sweetness as she pushed the spoon of food against your lips.

You burst into tears and screamed at them. But they would just smile fondly as though you were nothing more than an amusement. Nothing to take seriously. Just a child throwing a tantrum.

They'd take turns watching until you exhausted yourself, before scooping you up and shushing you "that's right sweet girl just calm down. I bet you were so very cross" their words were gentle and demeaning "it's okay honey its all over now. You don't have to think up anymore anger. That's it just lean into me. You really tuckered yourself out"

Your anger had simmered into soft sobs of a hopeless sadness. You were so tired you couldn't help but succumb to exhaustion. "That's right baby just relax into me. You must be so sleepy after that tantrum. You're such a silly little girl making yourself all mad like that. It's okay I'll forgive you. I always will"

The kisses on your head that felt more mocking the more filled with their love they were.

Where reader tries to harm herself:

Starfire's heart broke, as she just couldn't understand why you would do such a thing.

Where Starfire's heart froze, Dick's heart roared with an angry fire.

He'd lost so many and he knew he would continue to. But not you. You were his. You were the one person he got to keep. He would not lose you. Nothing would take you away from him. Not even yourself. You didn't get to just opt out.

In all they did to protect you they only had one oversight. Yourself.

It'd be a similar punishment to if you tried to run away. They'd have you on absolute lockdown. Blaming you, but not properly blaming you, because you're just a little child incapable of making your own decisions.

This is just further proof that you need to be taken care of. You can't even handle and regulate your own emotions.

Your thoughts had led you into this. So, it's better that you don't think at all.

This is when they wouldn't let you do anything by yourself at all. Anytime you tried to speak they'd just shush you, pretending they couldn't understand you, like you couldn't speak English.

They'd try to cut off your senses. Keeping cloth over your eyes so you can't see. Maybe even making you wear noise cancelling earphones. They wouldn't physically damage you in anyway that hurt you. But they would make you rely on them entirely.

It's better that way after all.

#dick grayson #starfire #koriand'r #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x reader #starfire x nightwing #starfire x reader #yandere starfire #yandere koriand'r #yandere dick grayson #platonic yandere #platonic yandere dick grayson #platonic yandere starfire #platonic yandere koriand'r #platonic yandere dick x reader x platonic yandere starfire #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines

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ithebookhoarder · 1 year

Text

A Work in Progress (Din Djarin x Mechanic!Reader)

Summary: Working at Peli’s repair shop, you’d never expected to find yourself growing close to a customer - let alone a Mandalorian, of all people. Yet, somehow, with every visit you seem to be getting just a little closer to the mysterious man behind the Beskar...

A/N: First of all, I love my Mando baby, and have been dying to write for him. So, thanks to the anon who sent me the message about Din being Demi-sexual. You really gave me the inspiration for this one. Also, I have to say, I totally agree with your head canon. Personally, I know what it feels like to have to have a close connection before you can even feel remotely attracted to someone. With Din’s beliefs and practises I feel he would need to feel connected before he could consider entering a relationship with you, let alone a physical one - but that’s just my opinion...

Warnings: N/A - but let me know if you think I missed any

Masterlist

------

You’ve grown to know the Mandalorian quite well in the last couple of years; he’s a frequent customer at the junk yard and repair shop you work at, having returned multiple times since he’d first been forced to ask you for repairs.

The Razor Crest was now a familiar ship and a smile always slid into place as soon as you saw it entering the atmosphere. Sure, you were instantly rewarded with Peli’s teasing, but you knew she meant no harm - if anything, she seemed to have a soft spot for the Mandalorian and the tiny green child he now towed about with him.

Why else did she give him such a big discount?

Why else did she always insist you prioritise him over any customers you already had waiting?

Why else did she make sure you were the one to do the work - her ’best damn mechanic in the whole galaxy’ - when she could have done it herself?

He would only get the best… which was probably why he always tipped the best too.

In fact, more than once, you’d been surprised by the purse of credits he’d place in your hand just before leaving, refusing to take it back no matter how much you protested.

“Mando… This… this is too much.”

“No,” he’d chuckle, “it’s the least you deserve.”

“But, it was a simple job-”

“Simple? Yes, but you did it well. You earned it, so keep the money. Please.”

What else could you do but accept? It was just part of your odd relationship and the steady routine you’d fallen in to as time had gone by.

Just like how he’d always make sure to talk to you when he was around, letting you ask questions about what he’d been up to since you’d last saw one another.

Just like how he’d let you tend to his wounds, once or twice, after a hunt had gone a little awry and he was unable to do so for himself.

Just like how he’d started bringing you little things from his trips to different planets, including the beaded necklace you never took off.

It was all of these things that made him your favourite customer… that made you consider him more as a friend and a good one, at that. You were also pretty sure he felt the same. Otherwise, there were plenty other places he could have chosen to spend his time, but he chose to spend it with you.

Today was one of those days.

For some reason, Mando had managed to secure his bounty much earlier than expected and cashed in the reward he’d been chasing. As such, you weren’t quite finished with making sure his ship was safe to fly again. You’d thought you’d have a couple more days at least.

He assured you there was no rush - he wasn’t desperate to leave the planet anytime soon - which was a relief. You hadn’t been ready to say goodbye just yet, nor had you had the ship ready for him either.

Still, you were also kind of happy at the change in schedule, especially when it meant that Mando had decided to loiter next to you, watching as you finished your work. And, Maker above, did you love to having him there… even if it made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It didn’t matter that you couldn’t see his face, concealed as it was behind that helmet of his. You’d learned his mannerisms well enough to understand him through his body language and modulated voice-box.

Like now, for example, the way his head tilted and seemed to track you as you dithered about the place told you he was studying you with great interest. You could even swear you heard the odd hum of approval… but that could also have been from the child, who was also watching you eagerly from his perch next to Peli’s office.

“You know you can rewire this so it doesn’t blow so often.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle, turning to stare at the Mandalorian, surprising him with your suggestion. You knew he was a capable mechanic in his own right, having made enough patch jobs over the years to see him through his travels. Still, you could tell he enjoyed listening to you and sharing your expertise. “Come here and I’ll show you. That way you won’t have to come in the next time it starts acting up… or force that sweet baby to climb inside the engine.”

“O… ok - but I would argue it was only once.”

“Still! He’s a baby!”

The Mandalorian chuckled under his breath, and held his hands up in surrender. He knew better than to fight with you on something like this. “Alright, I get your point. It was a bad idea. You better show me how to do it myself then.”

If you didn’t know better, you’d have said he almost sounded disappointed at the prospect of not needing to visit so often. However, he dutifully slotted into place next to you and began handing you tools when you asked for them, like you’d been working together your whole lives.

You spent the rest of the day like that; passing tools between you and talking, feeling the tension grow every time yours hands brushed one another. Every time your gazes met. Every time you’d laugh at something the other said.

It felt good… it felt, easy… it felt right - like something between you had clicked into place as easily as the machinery you’d been working on.

If only you could understand it so well.

Instead, your heart was in your mouth as darkness fell over the planet. For the first time since you’d met the Mandalorian, you actually felt nervous. You didn’t know why considering how well you knew one another by this point in your lives, but perhaps it was because you were supposed to be closing up the repair shop soon.

It was now past closing time, if you were being honest, but you’d been having too much fun with Mando to even consider dismissing him for the night. Besides, Peli wasn’t even back yet to lock up and Mando was making no effort to try and leave. If he was still around it was because he wanted to be.

Or so you told yourself as you tried not to blush for the hundredth time that day. It was just hard when his hand kept brushing against yours, and he was always somehow stood right next to you, despite having the whole garage to yourselves. The amount of times you kept turning around and bumping into him was getting comical now.

“So,” he started, surprising you as he tore you from your frantic thoughts. “Don’t you have someone back at home to rush off to? I’m sure they’re probably wondering where you are.”

“I uh… it’s still just me,” you answered quietly, surprised by the somewhat personal question. Sure, you often talked about personal things, things you never talked about with other customers, but his curious tone still caught you off guard. “No one to worry about me, thankfully. Means I can put in the extra hours here, given how busy we’ve been lately.”

The Mandalorian hummed to himself. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes after, which was enough to make your nerves fray even more. Your hands were shaking so badly you practically dropped your tools as you tried to put them away neatly, back in their boxes.

It was the heat of his eyes on you that made you feel light headed. What you wouldn’t give to know what was going on inside that helmet of his…

“What about you? I know you have the kid now,” you replied hastily. “No one else in your crew to keep you two out of trouble?”

“Uh, no. Just us two, still.”

“Oh.”

Now it was your turn to fall silent as you tried not to read into the answer. Of course he didn’t have anyone given his private nature and slightly nomadic lifestyle. He’d only even taken Grogu on thanks to the failed bounty, rather than simply because he’d wanted company… even if you knew he was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Can… can I ask you a question?”

You nodded. “Of course. Shoot.”

“Do you … that is… dank ferrik, do you like me?”

You blinked in surprise. You hadn’t expected that question. “Uh… of course, I do. Don’t you like me too?”

“Yes… but… I mean, not just as friends? or as a customer?”

A small laugh escaped you as you realised he sounded every bit as nervous as you did.

“Mando, you stopped being just a customer a long time ago. Ever since you brought me back those cookies from the market because you simply thought I looked hungry.”

His warm laughter made your heart flutter. “I’m still sorry you only got to eat a few.”

“Who knew the little tyke had got so clever, huh?”

“That’s one word for it.”

You couldn’t help but feel the paternal pride radiating off of the Mandalorian at the mention of his adopted son and his ever growing abilities.

You could also feel the tension, building with every second his original question went unanswered.

If you didn’t know better, you’d have sworn the bounty hunter was blushing, even beneath the beskar helmet that concealed the face you’d often dreamed about.

As it was, he flexed his hands by his sides, as if trying to rid himself of his anxiety.

“So, if I’m not just a customer then can I ask what that makes me?”

He’d taken the words right from your mouth.

Well, maybe you didn’t need words after all to communicate how you really felt about the man who had slowly stolen your heart piece by piece, with every visit...

So, you took a deep breath.

You stepped forward.

To your relief, he didn’t flinch or step back from your advance - or shoot you point blank.

No. Instead, his head titled and you heard him begin to try and ask you what was happening.

“Y/n-“

He never got to finish the sentence.

He was rendered speechless as you gently reached your oil stained hands up and rested them on either side of his helmet, holding him as if there wasn’t the layer between you both.

You then rose swiftly on to your tiptoes, before pressing a kiss against where his forehead would be.

The metal was cold under your lips. Yet, before you could worry that you’d somehow made an ass of yourself, his hands rose to rest delicately on your hips and pull you closer.

His touch sent shivers through you, the feel of him holding you electric - even through the gloves.

His head then tilted forward, so that the helmet was resting against your forehead instead, the gesture meaningful enough to make your heart skip a beat.

“That uh… that answer your question for you?”

A soft chuckle escaped him, causing you to release one of your own; it was all too surreal.

Here you were, in your garage, blushing like some school kid with their first crush, after kissing the customer you’d never even seen without his armour disguising him… yet you knew him.

Or, at least you knew what was important to know about him - enough to know he was a good person. A kind person. And a lonely one…

“I think that clears most of it up, yes,” the Mandalorian murmured. “And there was me thinking I was imagining things.”

“Imagining things?”

“Yes, like that you weren’t just being nice because you were working on my ship, for example. Or because Peli asked you to be.”

“Peli asks me to do a lot of things, Mando, and I don’t know how you haven’t noticed by now that I don’t always do them.”

Your laughter was unanimous, and loud enough that you both almost missed the sound of footsteps echoing from beyond the doorway - followed by a broken cough.

“So this is what you call working?”

You froze.

Both you and the Mandalorian suddenly leapt apart as if you’d been burned.

Thankfully, the owner of the voice waited a few more seconds before entering the room, giving you ample time to act as if nothing out of the ordinary had been happening only seconds ago.

"You're… you’re early, Peli,” you choke, trying not to die of embarrassment as your boss sauntered into the garage. The smile on her face was a smug one, as if she knew exactly what had been happening. “I thought you wouldn’t be back until later.”

"Good thing I decided to swing by early or I might have walked in on you two doing something entirely different," she teased, raising an eyebrow at the sight. “I’m just glad - by the sounds of it - you finally got your heads out of your asses and made a move. The tension was getting unbearable.“

"Oh… right.”

"Be gentle with them, alright? They're a gentle soul,” Peli stated simply, gesturing to you. “And my best mechanic. Just remember that, Mando. You break it, you buy it.”

You and Din were in unison without even trying as you both suddenly turned.

“Shut up, Peli.”

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