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#season 2 really took it out of me... killed off any passion i had for it...
vulpinesaint · 29 days
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so glad to see my little geralt of rivia post getting notes. i am the world's most average witcher lore understander (two seasons of the netflix show and three of the books and a bunch of time spent gleaning real lore from what people use in fanfiction) but i Do consider myself more correct than most people when it comes to understanding geralt of rivia. this is because i want to put him in a centrifuge and spin him around and my judgement is therefore unclouded by things like liking him as a character
#i do love him don't get me wrong. but like. in a way where i am using him to play croquet like the flamingos in alice in wonderland#care very deeply about him. many opinions about him being a good man and a desperate disillusioned romantic#and someone who is trying so so hard to be good at all times in a world where even he can't believe it of himself#but also he's FAKING HIS STUPID ACCENT!!!!!#man who rocks up to the function in an 'i love rivia' shirt when he's never actually lived there in his life#'yeah i'm jared from new york' says jared in a very distinct new york accent. nd then u find out he was adopted as a baby and raised in ohi#and you ask him how he developed a new york accent in cincinnati and he goes 'oh my foster dad said i was adopted from new york...#so i taught myself the accent to feel like i had more of a connection. a sense of belonging y'know' like. man. what#<— geralt of rivia simulator#anyway i am the correctest about him of all time until i'm face to face with someone who's finished the books. then i'll defer#soon though... someday... i will be the one who has finished the books...#and watched more gameplay maybe. not even cause i'm interested in the games i just want to be the arbiter of information#and because aiden is mentioned in the games <3 my darling who does not actually appear anywhere in the franchise <3#will not be watching season 3 of the show anytime soon. as soon as i went near the books i was so disillusioned with the show#season 2 really took it out of me... killed off any passion i had for it...#made me write like five different fics to try and fix it...#crazy. anyway. netflix writers don't understand geralt. but i do. let it be known.#valentine notes#the witcher
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kelstey · 4 months
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the smiths
mattheo riddle x reader
warnings: none
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❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
you were in hogsmeade, in a small little coffee shop tucked away from the crowded village. exam season was absolutely beating your ass and you loathed it but knew you had to revise.
you were about 2 essays deep - yet you wouldn't be able to tell anyone what was in them if they asked. all your 'revision' was going in one ear and out the other into a drain.
you threw your head back in frustration, unable to concentrate on a singular thing. all you were writing was rubbish and were sure that once you read them back would be utter gibberish.
you got up form the window seat, walking over to the counter to order your fourth coffee of the day. it was also only iam.
your day was meant to be motivational - but you were struggling to even stay awake let alone concentrated. you heard the bell from the door opening ding, not even having an ounce of energy to turn around.
you waited for your iced coffee, oblivious to mattheo riddle stood next to you. "the coffee's here must be good," your head turned to the voice.
"sorry?" you were confused.
he pointed to your lone 'study' area, three mugs of empty coffee scattered around. "how are you not bouncing off the walls?".
your eyes met back with his warm brown ones,"exams are killing me. i need any ounce of caffeine i can get."
"mind if i join your little study session? maybe a study buddy might help," a cute smile was present on his face.
"i suppose," you smiled back. you paid for yet another coffee and headed back to your seat, waiting for mattheo.
the two of you had never really spoke much - maybe a couple words had been exchanged but no where enough to call him a 'friend'. you couldn't deny though, he was absolutely dreamy.
but you were sure the countless of girls he had wrapped around his finger told him everyday. you were too far deep in your thoughts to notice he had made his way over to you.
"nice hand writing," he complimented the countless piles of parchment over the small table.
you nodded, unsure how to reply. "anything in particular you want to study?" you asked.
"could do with some help with astrology, it absolutely kills me," he chuckled.
"oh i love astrology, one of the very few subjects i actually enjoy," you started to go into depth about astrology.
mattheo wanted to listen to you - but he was truly entranced on your gorgeous looks and the way you were so passionate about astrology. the way your hair looked effortlessly done, your eyes twinkling when you got super into a particular
subject.
"mattheo? you there?" you giggled. mattheo was snapped out of his thoughts with the way his name rolled off of your tongue so perfectly.
"i'd be lying if i said i wasn't admiring you," he smiled and you could feel your stomach going flips.
"how many of your little girlfriends do you also say that to?" you teased him.
"just you," he shot you a wink.
"sure," you gave him an unsure look. "i better get going, i told luna i'd go over some potions stuff with her."
mattheo was disappointed to see you leave, truly savouring every moment he had with you. "will i be seeing you again soon?".
"hopefully, maybe next time you'll maybe be focused on the work," you joked about his clear un-amusement in studying, more so studying you instead.
"i'll wish on a shooting star," he shot you a killer smile. you waved him off, putting your earphones in as you played the smiths.
the music was blasted in your ears, mattheo's ears perking up at the familiar song. you left the cafe, makine vour way to luna's dorm.
you were too absorbed in the smith's, oblivious to the brunette boy chasing up to you. you felt a tap in your shoulder, you turned around and took an earphone out.
"back so soon?" you giggled at his flushed cheeks.
"i love the smiths," he said.
"sorry?" you were slightly disorientated.
"i said i love the smiths."
❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
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icearts · 4 months
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A couple things about Sonic Prime that disappointed me
1. Shadow was in almost the entire trailer, but showed up for 3 out of the 7 episodes
2. An action scene that lasted for three episodes. It got redundant
3. There was an entire plot point where Sonic was dying from the prism energy being taken from him. This took 3 minutes of screen time and the risk felt minimal if it was there at all
4. No consequences = no stakes (literally there was no issue or "sacrifice" that came out of repairing the prism. Idk what i was hoping for, but the fact that everything was so easily fixed kinda hurt my feelings because it made the entirety of season 2 seem completely pointless and dumb)
5. Shadow was super protective of Sonic in the first episode, but never showed that same "Would kill and die for you in a seconds notice" energy he had in that first episode
6. The chaos emerald is mentioned again but never used as a plot point. Chekov's Gun is fake, apparently
7. It's said that Sonic can't exist in the Shatterspace without prism energy, but Shadow never had it in the first place. There is no provided explanation as to why this makes sense. The closest thing was "shadow wasn't there during the blast" but that only explains why he doesn't have the energy, not why he doesn't need it to live like Sonic does (I assume the others have at least a signature of it too which is why they cloned and Shadow didn't. Again this is unexplained in Prime. What does the prism energy even do for/to the supporting cast)
8. Why are there only 7 episodes? Why do they take up so much time in one place?
9. Rouge and Shadow only had one line of dialogue (this isn't a genuine critique I just wanted to see my favorite duo be a duo)
10. Sonic's Prism "Super Form" doesn't come back. Shadow doesn't get anything like that either. Another dud Chekov Gun. Why is this dumb little anecdotal metaphorical firearm never firing
I really loved the new season, and it was great and super fun, but those critiques really ruined some things because those were all things I thought would be a guarantee because of the trailer and because of how the other seasons were.
Why would they even bother to mention the chaos emerald, and this weird void thing if it wasn't going to be essential to the plot other than being an excuse to sideline Shadow. They could have just as easily said that chaos energy is neutralized in cyberspace because it's not connected to the world/chaos/master emerald. That works too!
Plus, why was Shadow sidelined so much? What's the reason? Why wasn't he allowed to use chaos energy and go apeshit? Why couldn't he take off his inhibitor rings in a desperate situation to protect Sonic and be able to teleport into shatterspaces even at the expense of his health?
I know it's a TV-Y7 show. It honestly did not need to be, but I'm sure it was a Netflix mandate to make sure their animation is all meant for kids and only kids, but they really ended up nerfing themselves by alienating their more passionate audience which would be teenagers and adults. Just make it TV PG that would've allowed you to work with higher stakes and a higher budget (oh wait that's what Netflix's intention was nevermind).
If you wanna see me make a list of things I genuinely liked, feel free to ask or comment that. I might do so anyway. I feel like the internet is too negative and critiques of shows tend to do too much of that, so sorry for contributing to that culture, but I really needed to get that disappointment out because it bothered me quite a bit. Feel free to disagree too, or say "bro it's a kids show. It's not that deep. Stop having passion and emotions for your special interests you dumb fuck" I get it. Anyways, good show, good season, highly recommend, it's very fun and enjoyable especially if you're a fan of Sonic
Last minute edit: I only saw the season once and my sense of media literacy isn't by any means perfect, and also, to clarify, most of my concern isn't quite "these plot points are 1000% absent and terrible" and more "I thought the distribution between the action scene in episodes 4-7 and the rest of the season's story was very poor and made the content I was more excited for seem watered down/unplanned/super easily resolved". Again the part of the show where Sonic almost dies because of the prism energy withdrawal was about 3 minutes long. Why did it feel so low-stakes?? I love action scenes. They're great, but when you dedicate over 30 minutes to one long fight scene, it becomes less interesting and there's still MORE OF THE SHOW TO GET THROUGH so those parts got super rushed
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cbrownjc · 1 year
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i think you're right people came blind for the romance and i was maybe too harsh. i've been sideyeing people's reaction to this show and themes since half the fandom called daniel a voyeur pedophile for... demanding proof that claudia's diary actually said what louis was claiming. like this fandom is sensitive AS HELL and if/when louis chooses dick over claudia/it turns out episode five went way different i'm kind of scared how people will react
Hey Anon,
It's okay, I don't think you were harsh or intended to be.
The Daniel situation is interesting. I get people who sided with Louis and the idea that he was protecting Claudia when that episode first aired. Even I did, in theory. (Having to care for my mother, who had Parkinson's, for 10 years made me completely unobjective about Daniel slapping Louis when Louis manipulated Daniel's Parkinson's, however. I personally would have punched Louis for that one, even if it would have gotten me killed.)
But in my head, I also knew what Claudia's diaries, even being around, and a thing in the show, actually meant. Because I knew their significance in the book Merrick and what Claudia had written in her (one) diary that was found - and that was her hatred for both Lestat and Louis.
And so, I couldn't shake the feeling that Claudia's diary was being edited not just because Louis was trying to protect what had happened to her.
And as we see by EP7, Daniel was right to question the pages that were taken out. Because even though Louis took the pages of the SA out to protect Claudia, we see that even more pages than just those have been taken out of her diaries.
One section, in particular, where Daniel can clearly tell Claudia hated Louis' guts. Which matches up with her diary in Merrick.
Investigative Journalists aren't there to be friendly and sometimes can lack tact. And they aren't there to reinforce a story you want to tell yourself. I really don't know what to think of people who thought Daniel was being a voyeur pedophile for asking for the missing pages, because wow for missing the point. Daniel was asking because he could sense something was off when it came to the story Louis was telling and Claudia's diaries - which were being used to reinforce Louis' story - were not being presented unedited to do that, and he was right.
If you look closely at this image, you can even see pages have been taken out of where Claudia recorded Lestat's last words:
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Armand is likely the one who's been editing the diaries when the edges are clean-cut like that. But the main point is that Claudia's diaries are being edited. Claudia's story, which she told for herself, is being changed to suit whatever story Louis has been needing to tell himself about everything that happened.
Daniel is being told an account of the events to suit what Louis needs to believe and removed of the things he can't face up to. Particularly when it comes to his own choices and actions.
Spoilers Below For The Second Half of the Book IWTV and Possibly Season 2:
I know much of the non-book fandom will flip out when Louis goes off with the man/vampire who orchestrated Claudia's death. Not gonna lie, when I read that in the book years ago - after having seen the 1994 movie when it first came out, which changed that bit - I was side-eyeing Louis hard for that one.
But Louis isn't supposed to be some heroic figure. He's tragic, with some maddening faults.
This whole story is a tragedy. IWTV ends tragically, not happily. And I just don't know if the part of the fandom that doesn't know the story will be able to deal with that fact.
These vampires are monsters. They love deeply and passionately and crave love like they crave blood, but they are monsters, each in their own way. And they are all going to do some awful shit, in season 2 and any others seasons we might get. Because that is the nature of their story over the course of the chronicles.
We'll see how those new to the fandom deal with that. But not all of it will be well, I can already tell.
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darthstitch · 1 year
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the end of the fairy tale
Let's talk about Nada.
So, for those who haven't read the comics, I'm going to say it now, even if the comics were already released 30-odd years ago, okay? SPOILERS. MAJOR SPOILERS. VERY LIKELY THE PLOT OF SANDMAN SEASON 2.
There.
The second thing I am going to say is this: THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE/EXONERATE DREAM OF THE ENDLESS FROM ANY OF HIS SHITTY ACTIONS. BECAUSE THEY WERE REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE. HEINOUS. CRUEL. HE WAS A FUCKING IDIOT.
Look, I love the fucking idiot, okay? But yeah, the day I read that particular part in the comics was the day I absolutely wished I could reach into that world and shake him into sense. Like, DREAM, YOU MORON, YOU COME BACK HERE AND FIX THIS RIGHT THIS INSTANT GODDAMNIT. YOU FUCKING KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.
Thankfully, Death took care of that for me, in true Pinay Ate fashion.
Buckle up kids, here we go.
In the comics, Queen Nada was the first love interest that we see for Dream of the Endless. At least, the first that we knew of, since Endless Nights wasn't going to be written and published until years later.
It plays out like a classic myth, that tribal people tell each other, as part of a rite of passage for their youth. Queen Nada is the beautiful queen of a great and ancient city somewhere in Africa. She falls in love with a handsome and mysterious man. Despite multiple warnings and obstacles in her way, she goes on a quest to find Mr. Mystery and she eventually does find him.
It's worth noting that Dream here is again shown to be different from the usual pale, white, ghostly dude that we know. We're reminded that the Dream we see as a "default" is based on our perceptions. He appears as an eldritch godlike being, all flame and majesty to the Martian Manhunter.
To Nada, he is a beautiful young man of her own race but alas, when she finds him, she realizes that he's not a mortal. She recognizes him for what he is and is terrified, because to love an Endless is to court disaster. It's forbidden.
I won't recount the whole tale, but suffice it to say, that Dream eagerly pursues her once he's figured out that she's madly in love with him. She tries to run away but eventually she gives into Dream and they have this one incredible night of passion. But because she apparently broke this taboo, her kingdom is completely destroyed.
Dream tries to offer her the Queenship of the Dreaming, but obviously, that's not going to fly with Nada, who's absolutely broken that all of her innocent people had to pay the price for her foolish passions and love. She chooses to kill herself and while Dream still tries to persuade her to spend her afterlife with him, she refuses.
And that's why he sends her to hell. It takes about 10,000 years, but after Desire needles him (as usual) and Death points out (in a gentler fashion) that he'd behaved abominably, Dream decides to do the right thing and get her out of hell. It helps that he's just experienced imprisonment as well (we'd later learn that this has happened twice) and after some shenanigans, he does set her free.
Dream awkwardly attempts to apologize and he ends up getting rightfully smacked in the face, because, Dream, you moron, that's not how you say sorry. OMG.
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DASURV.
This is one of the reasons why Tom Sturridge's Morpheus took me a little off guard. His apology to Lucienne and his closure with Calliope are leagues away from this, where he shows a lot more empathy, sensitivity and maturity. I'm looking forward to seeing how the show is going to handle that moment, since they've been doing such a great job of adapting and making changes to the source material while still staying true to the spirit of the entire saga.
But I digress. Dream does really make it right with Nada and she gets to reincarnate and live her new life, finally free of all the bullshit.
For a long time, I had wondered how Dream of the Endless could've been so cruel and petulant and capricious. I did understand that The Sandman wasn't a classic "hero" tale where the lead character would make the "right" choice every time. Dream does change and grow and develop for the better over the course of the series, which is why it's so heartbreaking to lose him in the end, just when it seems he's finally getting his shit together.
And then I read Endless Nights and I finally understood.
Poor Nada was basically Dream's rebound love from the disaster that was Killala of the Glow.
Killala was a trainwreck in the making. From the comics, it seemed like Dream had been the one who did the courting, dazzling and wooing her. She's into it, but she doesn't seem to understand Dream's real nature and it's fairly clear that she's attracted to Dream and very much charmed, but it's Dream who's fallen hard and fast for her.
It's also worth noting that the restriction against loving mortals was not yet in place. It's Killala who causes that restriction to happen. Given that she falls in love with the star of her own solar system, it's significant that the one who doles out punishment for Nada falling in love with Dream and consummating that love is our sun.
I honestly think that Killala and Dream would've still broken up, even without Desire's meddling, but it might have happened gradually, over time and Dream might have learned a far more different, gentler lesson in loving mortals. Instead, he gets faced with Killala openly betraying him and running off with Sto-Oa. Desire laughs in Dream's face about it and admits that they thought it was a fun joke.
And Dream does absolutely nothing, except to storm away.
Killala isn't punished, isn't condemned to hell, doesn't suffer some unspeakable fate. We're told that she was happy with her love, even though she does die, eventually, since she's mortal.
So it's no wonder that Dream had overreacted so badly with Nada. It was Nada who had initially pursued him. It was Nada who had gone through all these trials and tribulations to prove her love for him. She was the one who essentially did the courting and the wooing. To Dream, who was still feeling bruised and battered after getting rejected by Killala, it had to be a heady feeling, to be loved and wanted like that.
Was it any wonder that he absolutely would not let Nada go after this? That he would try to hold on to her, try to keep her by his side, damn the consequences?
It's also significant that the Dream Nada sees, essentially looks like a teenager of her own age - a clear sign that Dream himself isn't emotionally mature enough or had developed that conscientious streak that made him so endearing much later in his life. He was young (in Endless terms), he was hurting over his last love and his sibling's cruelty, and he just wanted, very much, to be loved and have his fairy tale happily ever after.
Again, this doesn't excuse his cruelty. But at least we can better understand where he's coming from and appreciate how much character growth he'd gone through, because he does, in the end, set things right with Nada the best way he possibly could. And while it's not a fairy tale ending, it's a satisfying one.
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tommyspeakycap · 3 years
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Please could you write one with Grealish where you’re a Chelsea fan so refuse to wear a Villa shirt with his name on, and for bants Mount gets you a Chelsea shirt with his name and Jack gets all pouty?
omg I love this idea!! gets very smutty at the end ;) enjoy!
Villa Boy
A love for Chelsea had been something you adapted and grew to into as a young girl. Your dad was never entirely sure how to bond with his only daughter and your mother told him just to include you in what he loved. And so came your season pass with a little lanyard that still hung proudly in your childhood room right next to a shirt mounted in a glass photo frame with Frank Lampard's signature scrawled along the eight on the back.
It was actually how you met Jack in the first place, which is the only one single reason that he has for liking your club affiliation. Otherwise, it was one of the most annoying things in his world. It was often a source of teasing and taunting, you saying your team was better than his and him swaggering home and gloating for weeks when Aston Villa take a win over Chelsea. It was the bane of his life that he couldn't get you into that claret and blue. Not even to sleep in or wear around the house, you just would not dare put it on.
"I would feel my dad's shame emanate through the walls, maybe it would kill him. And then I'd lose every morsel of self respect I have, so not a chance." You'd snort, not even giving him a window for more persuasion.
His England shirt? that was fair game. You'd wear that with pride, to the shops, round the house, walking the dog and especially at his games but there was just absolutely no chance of getting you into his Villa shirt.
Though Jack may never admit it, it was one of his biggest wants. Seeing you in his England short was nothing short revolutionary - he'd said. It only made him want to see you in the Villa shirt more. That was his childhood club, getting to captain that was one of his biggest achievements and while he knew you were absolutely proud of him. You were the most proud and encouraging person in his life and there were no ifs buts or maybes in that.
But my god he knew you'd look fit in that claret and blue.
No matter how much it annoyed him, he wouldn't get you out of the darker blue home jersey of your favourite club no matter what he did. It was something he had come to accept over the course of your relationship, it was by and large fine.
Until that jersey said someone else's name across the back.
"Awh come on!" He yelps, mouth dropped open as you emerge into the kitchen with your toothbrush hanging out your mouth and only one shoe on. Jack knows you slept in because he switched off your alarm last night in hopes you'd miss the game, but Jack dropped a bowl when he tripped over the dog and woke you up anyway.
You going to the Villa v Chelsea game in a Chelsea shirt was bad enough, but now he's just clocked something that's sent his mind firing a mile a minute.
MOUNT
19
Not a fucking chance.
"Oi, you!" He calls out, throwing himself off the chair at the kitchen island, his feet fumbling over one another to get after you as quickly as possible. "What's up, Jack?" You hum innocently, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you stand in the doorway shoving on your other shoe. "Is something the matter?"
Jack gawks, opening and closing his mouth awaiting words to find his frazzled brain. "Yes!" He squeaks, a tone you'd never heard from a man before, let along your very deep voiced man. "There's no way that you're- what are you doing? Come back." He groans, his feet shuffling after you as you walk back through the house to find your car keys. "We're going to be late if you don't hurry up." You note sweetly, Jack drops his jaw. "We're not going anywhere until-"
"Hi Mason, yeah I got it. Fits like glove actually. Yeah, we're just leaving now. I'll meet you in the car park."
Jack's face was literally priceless. His agape, eye's wild, brows furrowed. A pout settles itself firmly into his lips the second he sits in the car with his arms folded over his chest like a toddler. You have to physically stifle a laugh at him as you beam the entire drive to Villa Park.
"M' gonna burn that." He states. You cast him a glance out the corner of your eye as you pull into the players parking. A snigger escapes despite your very best efforts and Jack resumes his frontward glare at the dashboard with his lips in a firm line. "Gonna win this game, burn that shirt and knock Mount flat."
You know he's not being serious about Mason. He's very fond of the player when they're on the same side. But you had become very close friends with him through the mutual love for the club he plays at and Jack absolutely despised that. He wasn't the kind to be bothered by your friends even to a moderate degree and even here he trusted you, he just fucking hated the concept of another club and another mans name over your back. It ticked him right off.
You know this very well. You knew what you were getting into the second Mason handed you that dark blue shirt. It was all fun and games really. You loved the club but you only wore the Mount shirt to get under Jack's skin. You thought it might even throw off his game a little.
The second he stormed onto the pitch and scored a goal 5 minutes into the game, you figured that might not be the case.
Every opportunity, every goal, every opening and every single tackle, Jack turned to you. He turned to you with fire in those brown eyes, sending you a cheeky wink. His passion, the very serious look etched onto his features and the way he was looking at you was fuelling a very different kind of fire in you.
Jack played the whole 90 minutes and he took Mason Mount down at every single given opportunity in a careful way that just evaded him getting a yellow card. He finished hot, sweaty and with a man of the match trophy for 2 goals and one assist with a majority of the game spent with the ball at his feet.
The 3 nil win should have been a lot more disappointing that it was, but he just looked so fucking good. The sweat stuck his hair to his temples, his muscles tight and protruding through exertion as he walks off the field after shaking every hand.
You're standing just outside the tunnel with Mason and John McGinn standing with you, talking about the match mostly. John makes a joke about you wearing that top more often, seems to be a good luck charm for Villa even if it's the opposing team. Mason scoffs and says; "More like an angry boyfriend wants to murder me charm."
That's when Jack appears and John barely gets his mouth open to greet him before Jack shoulders through the two footballers. His mouth finds your immediately. Hot, passionate, fiery and filled with his dominance.
He pulls back and grabs onto your hand tightly with his back to the two midfielders. Jack twists his body round with a daggering glare.
"Nobody," Jack growls, "fucks around with girl."
His tone, deep and gravelly, only serves to dampen your panties further in a way that makes your clench your legs together.
Jack's done with pouting, the teasing can resume later. For now, he's dragging you by the hand to a darkened conference room. Hiking you up his body before setting you on the table that sits at a miraculously perfect height that places you right against his bulge.
He wastes no time whatsoever ripping down your leggings and panties, his fingers finding you immediately to swirl pressured motions around your sensitive clit. "Ahh, who's got you moaning like that baby?" He rumbles, words vibrating through your lips.
"You Jack, oh god, you!" You pant as his fingers leave you feeling empty and needy. Jack easily tugs down his shorts and pulls himself out of his boxers to line up with your entrance. His victory sex is hot always, but usually there was a dry spell after a Villa v Chelsea game, so it had never been this hot.
"And who am I?" He grunts, pushing himself into you to hear your shuddering squeak of pleasure. He lays you down over the table, hands following you under your shirt to carefully and tentatively swirl his fingers over your nipples from under your bra. "Oh god, Jack," you move your hands to the hem of the blue shirt to lift it over your head, but Jack's hands stop them before you have the chance.
"No, no, no," he chastises with a smirk, "Want to fuck you in their colours," He continues to thrust roughly into you with each heavy breath, mouth and squeak that escapes you only spurring him on. "Want to fuck you with his name on your back, baby. Remind you who you belong to."
You shudder in pleasure with the feeling of his lips attaching to your neck, letting out a shaky, heavy breath as he snakes a hand down between you to swirl those circles around your more pleasureful spot once again. He knows the intricate details of your body better than any man ever has and he always ensures he uses it to his advantage, but nothing like today. His lips on the sweet spot of your neck, hitting and stretching you perfect between your legs with masterful work of his fingers pushing you closer and closer with each second that passed.
"Fuck , I'm so close-"
"Who's making you feel so good, baby?" He pants, skin slapping and heavy breathing echoing around the room. "You, Jack. You!"
"Not a Chelsea boy eh?" He grunts, teeth nibbling down over your collarbone. "Not a Chelsea boy baby is it?" He reiterates, pairing the movements of his hand only until you snap open your eyes again, "No Jack, it's all you. not a- oh god!"
Jack breathes a chuckle into your ear with an appreciative hum to follow.
"Yeah, Villa Captain isn't it? You're screaming out for a Villa boy, ain't ya?" He coaxes, edging you further and further as he speeds up to a pace he's never quite hit you with before. The adrenaline of the match, the irritation of that blue jersey and the passion for the win colliding to give him an energy he's never yet had. Watching your eyes roll beneath him wearing that stupid blue entices him on, only makes him want to pleasure you more if even possible. "Yes! Yes, I am, oh god just don't stop."
"Go on then," he encourages, voice deep in your ear. "Come undone for the Villa Captain baby."
He didn't have to tell you twice, that was for sure. The sight of your eyes fluttering, the feeling of you clenching around him with a steam of, "Fuck yes Jack!" sends him tumbling over the edge of his orgasm right after you, a strangle cry out of your name as it wracks through him.
When he lays down beside you in the table that very surpassingly withstood the pace of your antics, you're both breathless and shining with sweat. Your legs feel like jelly as you still throb from the pleasure. Jack turns his head to you with a lazy smirk, brushing some hair off your forehead as you turn to look at him.
"Well, I certainly do love a Villa boy."
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bumblesimagines · 3 years
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Forgotten Fairytale
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Part 2
Request: Yes or No
I'm not afraid of this series not becoming as well loved as Green Thumb and I don't expect it to be popular. I've had the idea stuck in my head for a while and I'm getting it all out.
~
You looked over the artifacts the school had stored. You gave a small scoff, shaking your head as you noticed things that didn’t belong in a school.
“They call us thieves and hoarders yet half this shit was stolen off a corpse.” You muttered, stopping in front of a glass case protecting a sword.
“I wouldn’t suggest stealing that. It’ll be obvious.” You turned towards the redhead, sighing and tilting your head as she walked towards you.
“You’re a pain in the ass.” You looked back at the sword, eyes raking over it. 
“You know what this is?” You asked. Hope stood beside you, looking down at the sword. She shook her head, pursing her lips slightly.
“A man named Lord Jameson Wraith owned this sword. He was… a hunter of sorts and specialized in killing dragons. When he stabbed this through the chest of a dragon, the sword would light up and the dragon would burn from the inside. A gruesome, slow death. We were hunted like all others but it wasn’t just to protect humans. We were hunted for our meat, our teeth, and our scales. Humans declared war on us and when we fought back, we were erased from everyone's minds and deemed fairy tales where we continue to be killed by a so-called knight.” You explained, running your finger over the glass. 
“Some dragons were able to survive Malivore but as soon as they shifted… They were taken. They disappeared and left no trace.” You turned to look at Hope. The redhead stayed silent, a frown etched on her face.
“I’m sorry you lost your father. We’re working on finding Malivore and when we do, there’s a chance you’ll be able to see your father again.” Hope said softly, gaze still trained on the sword. 
“Where’s your mother? Alaric mentioned she was a vampire.”
“I was never able to meet her but.. I believe she’s dead.” You walked around the case, looking back up at Hope. You locked eyes with her, hearing her clear her throat.
“I’m sure she would’ve wanted to be in your life.” Hope offered a small smile, nails gently tapping against the case. 
“Are you being nice to me cause you need to find out more about me?” You asked, head tilting. Hope cocked a brow, eyes rolling as she turned away from you.
“Alaric really doesn’t trust me, does he?”
“He trusts you more than I do, that’s for sure. It’s just too much of a coincidence for you, a dragon, to show up when we’re dealing with monster after monster. If it weren’t for Alaric, I would’ve already done a spell on you.” Hope said as she walked around the room, features hard and serious. 
“A little witch spell wouldn’t work on me. You haven’t been trained to deal with dragons. If I was really one of those monsters, why didn’t I burn the building down and search for whatever it is that you have?” You asked curiously. Hope didn’t answer, thinking for a moment.
“Because you’d need to know if it was hidden.”
“Alaric asked if I felt a pull to this place. I suppose that means I would feel a pull towards the artifact, right?” You slowly walked towards her, a soft chuckle leaving you.
“You can kick and scream all you want, Red. I’m here to stay, whether you like it or not.” You reached out, twirling a strand of her red hair around your finger. Hope grabbed your wrist, pushing your hand away.
“You’re up to something and I’m gonna figure out what it is.” Hope sneered, eyes narrowed. She turned around, walking towards the doors. She almost bumped into a man on her way out, quietly apologizing before moving past him. The man entered the room, clasping his hands together. 
“I’m Dorian Williams, the liberian and occasional substitute teacher.” Dorian introduced himself, finding a table and taking a seat. He motioned for you to sit across from him. You did so, taking a seat and crossing your arms as you eyed him.
“I’m gonna be honest with you, (Y/N). I do have some suspicions that you might be after the artifact but.. You’re a kid. A kid who lost their father and wants answers. I’m not here to interrogate you about your intentions.” Dorian explained, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. 
“Do the other students know what I am?” 
“News spread like wildfire here, especially amongst the students so.. Yes, most likely. I can assure you that you’ll be treated like any other student-”
“So, Hope goes around telling every student she’s gonna figure out what they’re up to? No wonder she’s not popular.” Dorian let out a small laugh, shaking his head.
“I promise Hope isn’t always like that. The monster problem we’ve been having has everyone on edge. Do.. Do you know anything about Malivore?” Dorian asked, sitting up and leaning forward. 
“I thought you weren’t gonna interrogate me.” You tilted your head, brow cocked. Dorian hummed softly, nodding. 
“Alright, we can talk about something else. The neck is a dragon's soft spot, right?”
“Depends.” You answered, licking your lips as you reached up to touch your necklace. 
“If a dragon is older and stronger, a hit to the neck isn’t gonna hurt them much. It might piss them off and they could lose their ability to speak or even stop them from breathing fire cause it’ll hurt to do so. We can still kill someone by stepping on them or snacking on them. We were on the top of the fucking food chain and humans just couldn’t deal with that.” 
“I’m not your enemy, (Y/N). I want to believe I can trust you. You’re a child and like all children, you need guidance. I see a lot of rage built up inside you. I can tell from the way you interacted with Hope and from what I heard. Landon and Rafael aren’t your enemies. They’re new and they have a rough past. The first dragon they met wanted to burn them into a pile of ashes so.. I’d say they’re being pretty welcoming.” Dorian held a soft yet stern gaze. It was obvious that he sympathized with you but at the same time, he wasn’t gonna deal with an attitude.
“Tell me about your father. What was he like?” Dorian asked softly. Your gaze dropped to the table, fingers squeezing around the key. 
“I’d appreciate it if everyone could stop talking about him as if he’s dead.” You breathed out, standing up abruptly as your eyes began to sting from tears.
“I don’t need to be welcomed into this school. I’ve been to high school before, I’m not some little kid whose hand needs to be held.” You walked out of the room, heading back to your dorm room. You entered the dorm, shutting the door behind you. You sniffled softly, walking towards the window and opening it. You stepped out, taking a seat on the roof. You brought your knees up to your chest, feeling the wind gently hitting your face. 
“The key to food is passion, remember that (Y/N).”
“I thought it was seasoning.” You grinned as you watched your father cook. He hummed, nodding with a chuckle.
“It is but food from a chef who feels no passion for it will taste bland and bitter. It’s the same with any other job. If you hate it, it’ll show and you’ll only hurt yourself. That’s why I always tell you to look for things you’re interested in.” (F/N) said, handing you a wooden spoon so you could help with stirring the soup.
“What was mom passionate about?”
“Your mother was.. She was a hurricane.” He began, sighing deeply. “She destroyed everything in her path and took down anyone in her way. Not many people have fond memories of her but I saw the good in her. I didn’t love her romantically but I considered her a good friend of mine. I’ll always be grateful to her for giving me the best gift a man could ever have.” You smiled widely, chuckling softly and rolling your eyes. (F/N) smiled softly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your temple.
“No treasure could ever compare to you.” 
You bit your bottom lip, letting out a shaky sigh. You weren't used to being alone. Your father had always been there to back you up, to support you, and to provide comfort when you needed it.
“Christ, pull yourself together. You come from dragons and a psycho vampire.” You mumbled, carefully going back inside. You picked up the phone, turning it on and waiting for it to power on completely. You responded to a text, watching a call pop up. You clicked the green button and held the phone up to your ear.
“I thought you said it was stupid to be in contact.” You took a seat on the bed.
“Yeah, well, I was expecting you to be back by now. You do know your fathers return lies in your hands, right? Only I can help you get him back but I’ll only do that if you give me what I need.”
“I have a plan-”
“Speed up that plan before I change my mind, (Y/N). While you were on your way to the school, I bumped into some of your new friends. They were a redhead and an older man. I believe the girl went by the name Jessica but I doubt it was her real name.” You let out a deep sigh, head tilting upwards. Hope Mikaelson was gonna be a real pain in the ass.
“Yeah, I’ve met the redhead.” You breathed out, dropping your head and pinching the bridge of your nose. 
“I just need you to relax, Ryan. I’ve got it handled but I really don’t need you fucking things up for me. You just keep up your end of the deal and I’ll keep up mine. You might be able to save my father but I can also keep you from helping yours.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a fact. Don’t bother me again unless it’s an emergency.” You pulled the phone away from your ear despite Ryan continuing to talk. You hung up and tossed the phone to the side, burying your face in your hands. 
“Am I paying for my mothers crimes?” You whispered. You flinched when you heard two knocks on the door, standing up and approaching it. You opened the door, staring at Josie.
“What do you want, baby face?” You asked with a frown, looking down at the ice cream tub in her hands. Josie’s brows furrowed at the nickname but she ignored it, choosing to raise the tub. 
“I.. I kind of eavesdropped on you and Dorian and saw you rush out. Ice cream always makes me feel better when I’m feeling down, so I brought you some.” Josie shrugged lightly. You blinked, opening your mouth but nothing came out. 
“If you don’t like ice cream then I could see if-”
“Thanks.” You cut her off, watching her relax and give a small smile. Josie nodded, perking up when you stepped aside so she could enter. Josie looked around the room, humming. 
“If you want, we could go shopping for some decorations tomorrow after school.” Josie said, moving one hand under her skirt as she sat down. You nodded, taking a seat beside her and subtly turning the phone off. Josie opened the lid of the tub, handing you a spoon and giving a small shy smile.
“Well, Welcome to Salvatore School. I’m pretty sure dad is still figuring out your class schedule.” 
“Dad?”
“Oh, uhm, the headmaster is my dad.” Josie shrugged, digging her spoon into the ice cream. Your brows raised, a small smile spreading across your face. 
“Really? You look nothing like him.. Which is a big compliment.” You grinned as Josie let out a soft giggle. Things were definitely starting to look up.
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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 3 years
Text
Being Exiled with Tommy Headcannons!|| 🥀
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irl/ in-game
Genre| angst + comfort
h e a d c a n n o n s||
Sypnosis|
Both you and Tommy ended up getting exiled together.
Artist| OliverSonder on twitter!!
Warnings] mentions of manipulation, character death, spoilers for Tommy’s Exile Arc and the Season 2 finale!!
[can be seen as both platonic or romantic!!]
||gender neutral reader!!||
(also this was not grammar checked and im to lazy to watch through hours of footage so if anything in here is wrong blame it on the DSMP Wiki OKAY LETS GO-)
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So i think its pretty established that if you end up getting exiled with Tommy your one of two things.
- Really sweet and loyal friend that will stick up for in-justice and be there when someone needs you the most
Or
- A total fucking gremlin that will steal your kneecaps and toes and eat your shower curtains in the middle of the night.
There is no inbetween here you guys.
I did end up going for Reader A, though. But you guys tell me if you want headcannons for a gremlin!reader because i will gladly do that!!
But anyways just... enjoy exile!
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Exile|
- It was about his third day in exile when Y/N appeared through the nether portal, bags, pouches, tools, armor, etc. on their person. Tommy thought they either were here to beat him up or got exiled themselves.
- Tommy was pleasantly surprised when he learned that Y/N was actually there on their own accord, helping him through exile and being his shoulder to lean on. The first few days we’re rough, fighting back mobs in the night and farming crops all day. His clothes we’re starting to get dirty and torn by the time Y/N got there.
- Y/N ended up making a little bunker about 30 blocks from where they’re tent was, where they hid all theirs and Tommy’s valuables, such as armor, diamonds & iron, and rations. Although Y/N never gave into Dream and gave him they’re stuff, Y/N simply refused, they wouldn’t be giving in that easily.
- Most of they’re days are spent in caves mining away, chatting and fighting off Creeper’s as they tried to keep the moral high, always keeping Tommy company. Y/N never let him go anywhere alone, they we’re always with him, like his own bodyguard of sorts.
- One time they both find a Mineshaft though and got lost, they ended up at the surface two dayd later with torn clothes, cuts and bruises and we’re in bad shape. Thankfully Y/N had a brewing stand at they’re camp though, so Healing Potions we’re semi-easy to make/get.
- After the duo end up going to the artic though... things got... weird.
- Techno was not expecting to open his door to find the heathen Tommy and sweetheart Y/N at his doorstep shivering and begging to come inside, bags thrown on they’re shoulders as they teeth chattered from the cold wind and snow.
- Whenever Dream comes to visit Y/N always has to hide with Tommy, reassuring him that its okay and they’ll always be there for him, and protect him at any cost, which he highly appreciates.
- The ‘gapple-eating’ thing Tommy did was a cute, yet depressing thing. Seeing him hasitly munching on golden-coated apples was funny and caused giggles, but the meaning behind it always left Y/N with a lump in their throat and a hole in their heart.
- Whenever Tommy is in danger and calls for Dream, Y/N always has to stop him and bring him back to reality, making Tommy realize Dream isnt his friend, and never was. Many nights have happened where the two talk about Tommy’s feelings with Dream, not only for Tommy to vent and let everything out, but also for Y/N to understand whats going on in his head.
- When going into the Nether Tommy always grips Y/N’s hand, as his fear of lava and heights consumes him whole in that firey dimension.
- When Tommy gets up close to Dream in the cabin? Y/N is scared spineless, if people could see them, they’d see the palest, most terrified and worried being on earth.
- Y/N having a heart attack when Ghostbur slips up
- Ghostbur is just a whole thing and just. Y/N needs a break, okay?
- Y/N begrudgingly helping Tommy build his cobblestone tower outside of Techno’s cabin.
- Y/N apologizing soon after to Techno only for him to laugh and ruffle Y/N’s hair, saying he knows how Tommy can get anyone to any situation.
- Very rarely does Y/N ever leave Tommy’s side, when they do its usually to get supplies or visit they’re friends. So when Y/N was walking back to the Nether portal to see Tommy, Techno and Dream all standing there, looking like they’re about to slit the others throat, well...
- Nobody has ever seen Y/N drop kick a person so fast.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Y/N yelled, they’re sword at Dream’s neck, as he laid on his back, his mask covering his shocked expression.
“Answer. Me.” Y/N gritted through their teeth, pushing their swordfurther against the masked mans throat. Techno soon chimed in, reassuring Y/N that nothing to terrible happened.
“It’s fine, Y/N. He didn’t do anything, why not we head back home? Wouldn’t want that homeless man to be to scared spineless, eh?” Techno said, hand on they’re shoulder as he looked Y/N in the eyes.
The 3 walked back to the Nether portal, purple mist engulfing Tommy and Techno as Y/N stood in front of the portal. Back turned towards Dream, Y/N shifted they’re head and glared at Dream with eyes that could kill.
“Don’t do anything you might regret, you megalomaniac.”
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- When Tommy and Tubbo decide to go fight Dream, Y/N is both excited and scared. They hope Dream will finally be taken down, but they dont want Tommy (& Tubbo) to be taken down as well.
- So like any amazing best friend, Y/N brews up a bunch of potions of Strength, Healing + Regen, Invisibility and more. Even if Tommy thought he was going to be walking out of there alone, he wasn’t going to be. Y/N would make sure.
- Y/N watched from afar as Tommy got his disc out of the jukebox, laughing in success. All Y/N did was clap quietly, making sure they’re Invisibility didn’t wear off. They we’re making sure Tommy stayed safe, even if he didn’t realize it. Y/N loved him with they’re whole heart, and everyone knew that.
- At Dreams secret base, Y/N was just getting there as Tommy took Dreams first canon life.
“Tommy. Stop. Dont do anything you might regret.” Dream snarled, looking at the teenage boy, his blue eyes dull, yet full of passion and vigor.
All Tommy did was pursue forward, as everyone waited for what was to come. Tommy took one step to close though, because Dream had decided that he had enough.
Dream brought his arm into the air, hand curled into a fist, he was about to hurl his hand into Tommy’s face when Dream suddenly fell to the ground, arrow in his forehead.
Dream was shot by Y/N
Y/N stood there, enchanted bow in hand, infront of the nether portal that swirled with an eerie purple mist. Y/N lowered their bow, staring at the man who tortured Tommy for weeks now. Y/N simply stepped forward and towered over Dreams corpse before it disappeared in thin air.
Lets just say Dream wouldn’t be hurting the blonde heathen anytime soon.
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a/n: howdy everyone how we doing? Decided to do Tommy x Reader for this post, although i am MAJORLY simping for Wilbur atm and i have brainrot so that’ll most likely be the next post (if i dont do a pt. 2 for this one but even so WILBUR).
Anyways i hope i did racooninnit justice, i have no idea how to do headcannons since half the time i ramble (its the adhd) so this was new for me. Definitely not my strong suit but like you live ya learn. Also, sorry if i left out quite a lot, i might make a fic about this and include more events, but this is really long for headcannons (because of my layout) so i didn’t include to much. I dont want people scrolling for like 20 seconds to go to another post (i write on mobile so undercut is not a thing for me RIP)
Anyways have a lovely day and dont let Tommy eat all your gapples!!
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fanmoose12 · 3 years
Text
catch me if you can
Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman
Genres: Mystery / Romance
Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.
Chapter 7/?
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
The city he had chosen to stay in was terrible.
It was noisy, it was crowdy, and the constant heat was making Levi go insane.
And while the city’s loudness and the amount of people in it made it easier for him to blend in, get lost in plain sight and all that bullshit, the heat— the fucking heat, gods, it was killing him.
Levi didn’t like cold weather, despised all the layer of clothes he had to put on just to get to the nearest supermarket and buy instant noodles, he hated the snow with passion he carried since his childhood, he thought that winter was the worst season of them all.
Oh, how wrong he was.
The heat was making his skin crawl. Even in just tank top and shorts, he felt too hot. Drinking cold water, taking cold showers, none of it helped. Levi turned the air conditioning in his room on maximum, but the motel he was staying at was shitty, his room was shitty, and, as a result, the air conditioning was shitty too.
Levi was sick of it. His skin was constantly clammy and sticky, he couldn’t sleep at night, there was never enough air around him, and walking around the city during the daytime made him seriously consider whether he was actually a vampire.
The sun… could it really burn so much? It didn’t used to be so unbearable before.
But apart from that… Levi was starting to accommodate to his new life.
Leaving his hometown behind, he decided to let go of his previous habits too. He got himself a job - not a respectable, but at least an honest one.
Being a janitor in a shitty bar after spending most of his life as a thief was almost… therapeutic.
The vomit on the walls and piss on the floors were enraging him to the point of seeing red and sometimes he wanted to break a leg of every asshole who didn’t know when they had enough and went to make a mess in the toilet, but… working there was therapeutic nevertheless. And a definite improvement too.
At least, his life wasn’t in danger anymore and he didn’t have to run away from police.
Although, he wouldn’t mind running away from a certain police officer. Perhaps, this time he would let her catch him. Perhaps, then his heart would stop clenching in pain every time he thought about Hange.
Perhaps, then he’d be able to let go.
He tried letting go, forgetting about Hange, just as he tried to put behind his life of crime. Unfortunately, putting Hange behind proved to be that much harder.
Some nights, when the heat was especially bad, he felt especially lonely and the shitty whiskey at the shitty bar he was working at didn’t do the trick, he’d snuck a look at how Hange was doing. He’d open his phone, scroll through a news feed. If he’d get lucky, there would a recording of some press conference with Hange at the center of it all.
Apparently, she was doing well. Her shoulder was almost healed, although sometimes she still winced, when gesticulating too frantically. But the paleness in her face that was present when he had visited her at the hospital was long gone, and at the few press conferences that allowed Levi to catch a glimpse of her, Hange’s cheeks were adorned by healthy, rosy blush. Her hair was just as wild, just as messy, and her voice carried the same inspiring conviction.
Whether Hange found out the truth about him or not, he didn’t know, but she had moved past Ackermans’ case and during the time Levi was getting used to his new life she alredy solved two robberies.
She was working on a new case now, something about a young girl who had mysteriously vanished. Levi didn’t bother to find out the details, the name Krista Lenz meant nothing to him, but nevertheless, he wished that Hange would succeed. She deserved that, her quick wit and determination were meant to be recognized and celebrated.
That bright, happy smile on her face, the one she was sporting during the conference that discussed one of the solved robberies, it suited Hange so much. Levi wished she’d wear it more often.
He wished he’d see it more often, but well… some things just weren’t meant to be.
Strangely so, Kenny didn’t contact him even once. No obnoxious phone call, no mysterious messages or weird gifts. There was no sign of him for almost two months, and Levi would have started worrying, would have tried to contact the man himself, if… if Kenny wasn’t Kenny.
His uncle was like a cockroach, Levi was one hundred percent sure that nothing and no one could cause him any harm. And if there was someone who actually could do this, Kenny would have harmed them back, ten times worse.
Still, the thoughts about Kenny lingered at the back of his mind, and memories about Hange did the same irritating thing. It made Levi feel awfully nostalgic sometimes, borderline melancholic. And fairly quickly he found out there was nothing he could do about it. No amount of whiskey or dirty toilets could chase that sadness away. That sadness was a new part of his new life.
Maybe, it was better than always living on the edge.
Luckily, he didn’t feel so lonely all the time, his colleagues at the bar made sure of that.
And while his boss, a bald, gross man called Shadis definitely wasn’t a joy to have around, two others – a barmaid named Sasha and waiter Connie were so much better.
They were annoying in their own right, of course. Sasha had a weird obsession with food, Connie’s sense of humor left much to be desired, and together both of them were so damn loud, but for brats who barely stepped into adulthood, they provided a fairly enjoyable company.
They let Levi take his mind off certain things, and they kept him from falling into the abyss of loneliness and depression.
They also opened up the side of him that Levi wasn’t even aware of.
Connie had once mentioned in a passing that his mother had died years ago, and whatever happened to Sasha’s family, she wasn’t living with them anymore, sharing a small flat with Connie and another guy, Jean.
In Levi’s humble, unbiased opinion, Jean was a self-centered, pompous jerk. He wasn’t working in the bar with his two friends, and instead had involved himself in some shady shit with a local gang, which apparently terrified the whole neighborhood. Levi wanted to tell the boy that he was a fucking idiot, if he thought that messing with criminals was a good idea, but he doubted that Jean would listen. Luckily, Jean wasn’t around too often and visited the bar only, when he was miserable about some girl he had a crush on, or whenever he wished to get drunk for free.
It was a good thing that Levi barely interacted with Jean. The boy was so annoying. And also – too damn tall.
He didn’t hear about any other friends of theirs, and as far as Levi was aware, there was no actual adult watching over Sasha and Connie, so… he kinda, unwillingly, of course, took that task upon himself.
Obviously, he made sure to remain discreet. He didn’t want the brats to know that he cared, because he didn’t, naturally.
He claimed that he simply cooked too much food and the leftovers would go to waste, if he didn’t give them away, when he brought them pasta or soup. He mentioned his insomnia and pretended that long walks helped him sleep better, when Sasha and Connie went home after midnight. He lied about having experience in bartending when Sasha got stomach flu. He said that he was just accidentally passing by their apartment, when later that day he visited to check on her.
The brats were too dense to notice his subtle attempts anyway, or so Levi hoped. They had never brought it up, and that had to mean something, right?
And that time when Connie tried to fix Levi’s air conditioning, or when Sasha brought a whole jar of his favorite tea, or all those evenings when he felt blue and homesick and they helped him clean the bar and took him out to dinner, surely it was nothing more than a coincidence.
The brats had their moments, Levi had to admit, and sometimes their presence was almost pleasant.
But sometimes they made him wish they shut their mouths and never opened them again.
Right now, that desire was more prevalent than ever.
“Say, Mister Levi,” Levi hated when they called him that, it made him sound even older than he actually was. He told them to stop it, many times. But the brats didn’t care. He slowly raised his eyes to show that he was listening. As soon as he did, Sasha put a fist underneath her chin, forgetting about the important task of cleaning the glasses to stare at him curiously. “Do you have someone?”
“Someone?” he had an inkling of what Sasha was asking him about, but he didn’t wish to discuss that with the damned brats. He didn’t wish to discuss that topic with no one, ever. Because… there was nothing to discuss.
“Yep, someone!” Connie chimed in. “Like, hm, a significant other?”
“A beloved!” Sasha agreed, nodding enthusiastically.
Levi felt the migraine coming. “I don’t have any kind of someone,” he gritted. “And I never did.”
“Really?” Sasha tilted her head to the side, looking so skeptical that Levi was ready to get offended. Was he not convincing enough? “I thought you do. It’s just that sometimes—”
“When you think no one is looking!” Connie swiftly added.
“Your face seems so much softer, and your scowl almost disappears, and you look—”
“Just like Jean when he thinks about Mikasa.”
Who the fuck was Mikasa? And what face was Jean making? Levi couldn’t be making the same one, could he?
“But if you say there is no one,” Sasha sighed, returning to her task of cleaning glasses. Wearing the same sad face as she did, Connie went back to gathering dishes from the tables. “Then I guess we’re wrong.”
Damn right, they were. There was no one, and whatever face they thought he was making, it couldn’t possibly be related to a certain police officer from the other side of the world.
“And if there is no one you have to think about,” Sasha winked, like she was seeing right through him. “Then let me make you a drink. It’s a new recipe I found, it involves tequila, vodka and—”
Levi raised a hand to cut her off. “Just surprise me.”
Sasha nodded and went to work. She frequently let Levi taste her new cocktails. He was the perfect man for it – he didn’t get drunk too fast, and he was the only Sasha’s friend who tasted something better than cheap whiskey or a beer from a local supermarket. He also never shied away from telling her when the drink was fucking awful.
Sasha hummed as she mixed the drink, some song Levi vaguely recognized from the radio. She was smiling too, she did that frequently, and something about her, be it the ponytail that jumped up and down when she was excited, or her easy-going, cheerful personality reminded him of Hange.
These days, lots of things reminded him about Hange. There were days when almost everything reminded him of Hange. It seemed like today was exactly a day like that.
“You’re making that same face again,” Sasha whispered, as she handed him the drink.
Levi scowled, glaring at the girl, as he put the glass up to his lips. He finished it in one go. “It tastes like shit,” he told her. “Put it on the menu.”
Sasha beamed, refilling his glass. “Knew you’d like it.”
“By the way, boss,” Levi wasn’t their boss, as far as he was aware, their actual boss was getting drunk in his office, all the while mumbling incomprehensible gibberish about some Carla. But Levi had to admit, being called boss was so much better than the godforsaken mister Levi. "Are you free tonight?"
Levi was free every day and every night, when he wasn’t working in the bar with Connie and Sasha. It wasn’t like he had any friends or even acquaintances beside two brats. However, saying it out loud would make him look even more pathetic that he actually was. So Levi shrugged, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, “Depends.”
“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Connie asked, looking at him with a smile so hopeful that Levi was ready to say yes right that instant. God, they already had him wrapped around their fingers. How embarrassing. At least, Kenny wasn’t here to witness it. He’d have a laugh of his life, if he found that Levi was adopted by two teenagers. “Jean is away on a trip, so we’d be glad to have some company.”
“He went to see his family?”
From the way Sasha bit her lip and Connie refused to meet his eye, Levi knew – their friend didn’t go on a simple trip. He sighed, taking a sip from his glass and letting the bitter liquid burn his throat. Admittedly, it was none of his business. He shouldn’t care about it, he wasn’t their father, for god’s sake. But… a friendly piece of advice wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Your friend plays with fire. And if he continues doing so—”
“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie crossed hands on his chest defensively. “He is smart.”
Levi couldn’t help but scoff. “Just being smart is not enough. There will always be someone smarter.”
“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie repeated stubbornly. “He’ll be fine.”
Maybe, he will, maybe, he won’t. At the end of the day, Levi had no say about it. He might call them brats, but they were already adults. They were allowed to do as they wished. They were bound to make some mistakes.
“Tell him to be more careful. Otherwise, you’ll suffer too.”
Levi left it at that, not wanting to antagonize Sasha and Connie any further. Besides, it was time to open the bar, or the drunkards all across the block would start banging on their doors. Worse than that, Shadis might come out of his office too. His sour face was the last thing Levi wished to see.
“Let’s get to work,” he nodded to the kids, and took his drink to the dark corner of the room, where he usually spend his shifts, waiting until the patrons start making a mess he’d have to clean.
Surprisingly, the evening came and went, but there was no mess for him to deal with. No one vomited, no one shitted all over the toilets. No one spilled their beer on the floor, or even a table. Were their patrons starting to learn how act like people, and not pigs? Or were they so well-behaved because it was just the beginning of a week? Or did the heat finally get to them and turn them just as slow and tired as Levi himself felt?
However, the weather was more merciful that day. The temperature was still high, too high for Levi’s taste, but just after the sunset the wind was starting to pick up, the storm slowly brewing. During the smoke break outside the bar, Levi could see the lightening, illuminating the far edge of the sky. The rain was in the air, and he allowed his lips to curl up in a pleased smile. Perhaps, he’d finally be able to sleep through the whole night and not toss and turn, feeling like the bed turned into a scorching pan.
When he went back inside, the bar was almost empty, just a few regulars left, nursing their half-finished drinks.
“Do you want to have pizza or sushi?” Sasha asked, as he started sweeping the floor. “We can order both if you wish.”
Levi rolled his eyes with a disgusted tsk. “Eating so much takeout is unhealthy. Let’s finish here and go to supermarket. I’ll cook you something decent.”
Connie yelled a loud yahoo, while Sasha squeezed him in a suffocating hug. The heartwarming moment was cut short, when the door to the bar was thrown open with a loud bang.
It let inside the gush of wind and drops of freezing rain. With a broom still in his hands, Levi turned sharply to the door, ready to rip the unlucky drunkard a new one, the bar had closed almost an hour ago, the sign was right there for everyone to see.
All harsh words died on the way between his throat and his tongue. Levi froze on the spot, and in the silence that followed the lightning strike was as sudden as a gunshot.
Sasha’s distressed cry and Connie’s shocked sob put him out of the stupor.
Throwing the broom away, Levi moved, catching the falling, bloodied boy into his arms.
“Jean!” Sasha was the first one of the two to snap out of it. She ran to Levi, with trembling hands lifting up her friend’s face.
“What the fuck had happened?” Connie kneeled next to them, his eyes wide and scared as he stared at Jean.
Jean looked awful, there was no way around it. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, his right eye was already swollen, and his light brown hair had too much red in it.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, too weak and injured to offer something more than a shaking whisper. “I’m sorry, I’ve fucked up, I didn’t know where to run and now they’re coming here, I didn’t mean to do this, I didn’t think, I—”
He could continue that nonessential ramble for the rest of the night. But if they, whoever those they were, were truly coming, Jean and his friends didn’t have that much time. Carefully, Levi lifted Jean’s arm, wincing when he saw that the boy’s shirt was bloodied too, and threw it over Connie’s shoulder. Then he took the key from the back pocket of his shorts and thrusted it into Sasha’s palm.
“Take him to my room in the motel.”
“And you?”
Levi pushed the hair away from his face, already hating himself for his next words. Kenny was right, he cared too much, and it was his biggest weakness, one that would probably get him killed one day. Perhaps, that day had already arrived.
“I’ll stay here and buy you some time.”
“No!” Jean protested, frantically grabbing Levi by the elbow. “It’s my fuck up, you shouldn’t get involved, you don’t know—”
“I do know. And unlike you, I can actually take care of myself.”
Perhaps, he was too harsh, but it was necessary. Jean had fucked up, and whatever he had done, he had to own that mistake and learn from it. That was the only way he would survive through another one of his mistakes.
“Hurry up,” he told Sasha and Connie. “I’ll meet you as soon as I’m finished.”
Thankfully, they didn’t try to argue. Connie wished him luck and Sasha made him promise to come back, and that was it.
As soon as they had left, Levi hopped behind the bar counter to pour himself a shot of whiskey. He lighted up a cigarette, waiting for the front door to swing open and Jean’s persecutors to arrive. Hopefully, they’d do it without guns blazing.
He was just finishing the first glass and was thinking of getting himself a second one, when the mighty kick almost as loud as the thunder outside pushed the door open. Three men tumbled inside a second later, their faces transformed by fury into caricature masks.
“Where is that son of a bitch?” roared one in the middle, their leader, Levi assumed.
Levi was in no hurry to answer. He took the last drag of the cigarette, meticulously put it down against the surface of an ashtray. Then looked at the men in front of him. “The bar is closed. There is no one here but me.”
“Stop fucking with us!” the asshole on the left shouted. “We saw him run inside!”
“If that fucker isn’t here, perhaps we should look around for his friends,” the third man offered. “I know they’re working here.”
So there was no way around it? Levi sighed, walking from beyond the counter. “Just so you know,” approaching the men, he cracked his knuckles. “I don’t condone violence.”
One of the thugs started laughing, the other two immediately followed. Levi didn’t expect any other reaction. The men were burly, large, they definitely weren’t smart.
“What are you going to do to us, midget? Do you seriously think you can beat us up?”
The insult was followed by a punch, a careless, blundering one. Levi effortlessly dodged it, delivering a vicious kick to the stomach of his attacker. The man - who upon the close inspection had yellow teeth and reeked of cheap alcohol – staggered. He caught himself at the last second, holding onto nearest table with white-knuckled desperation. Levi hit again, this time with his knee. With a gasp that turned into a groan, the man fell onto the ground.
Luckily, he stayed there, and Levi turned his attention to the other two.
The one who stood at the left attacked instantly, aiming his enormous fist at Levi’s jaw. There was an unfinished bottle of whiskey on the counter right behind him, and Levi grabbed it, smashing it against the man’s head. The resulting sound was loud, almost deafening. Levi tried to forget about the mess of spilled whiskey on the floor and let himself enjoy that pleasant sound for another moment.
That was a slight miscalculation on his part, because the last man apparently was armed with knife, and he swung it without hesitation. Levi jumped to the side, but wasn’t quick enough. The knife’s edge kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind it. A mere second later, the knife was in the air once again. Levi was ready for it this time, but as he prepared to take a swift step back, his ankle refused to budge. He looked down to see that one of the defeated men was back in the game, still laying on a floor, but holding Levi in one place. Levi quickly dealt with him, using another leg to kick the man’s head. It took him no more than a moment, but it was enough for him to lose sight of his last attacker. Whatever plan of retaliation Levi had, he lost it, when the knife embedded in his forearm, making him hiss and cuss. Irritated, he roughly grabbed the hand that held the knife, twisting the arm at the wrist.
There was a loud crack, then the even louder scream.
Not too elegant, but, at least, it did the job.
Yanking the knife out of his arm, Levi threw it away, allowing it to clutter on the ground.
“Get the fuck out of here!” he snarled at the men, who weren’t laughing anymore. On the contrary, their faces were panicked, frightened. They pathetically scrambled to their feet, pushing each other to get outside as fast as possible. “And don’t come back!” Levi shouted to their backs.
When the door fell closed, Levi slumped back against the counter. The spot on his cheek was tingling unpleasantly, his arm was hurting like a bitch, and the whole bar had turned into a mess – the shards of glass and spilled whiskey were all over the floor. The blood from his arm was creating a small puddle too.
Levi viciously cursed and grabbed a towel, making a make-shift bandage. It had to do for the time being.
One mess was dealt with, and now another was awaiting him. He’d be lucky if the dirty floor would be the biggest of his troubles tonight.
But somehow, Levi knew that it was just the beginning.
***
Levi never considered himself to be a philosophic kind of person, he never pondered on the meaning of things, never felt the desire to look at the problem at hand from all possible angles, never reflected on his feelings and emotions.
He did however notice that the small room he had rented in a shitty motel at the edge of the city never felt to him like home. It was a place to live, it had a bed to sleep, it held some of his belongings, but it wasn’t a home, it didn’t provoke in him the feeling of belonging that he found inside the walls of his and Kenny’s old apartment.
He spent a little more than two months, living in that shithole, and never once he thought – I’m home, never once he felt – I belong right here.
But something very similar was blooming in his chest, when he passed the threshold of his shitty motel room and fell right into the arms of Connie and Sasha.
Sasha started cleaning his wounds right away, while Connie rushed to get the new bandages for his bloodied arm.
“You should have been more careful,” Sasha chided, and, fuck, he really got adopted by a couple of kids just like that.
“We could have dealt with this ourselves,” Connie said, and then, after a little pause, added, “Probably.”
Levi hummed and resisted the urge to ruffle the hair on their heads. He didn’t have that much affection for the little shits. Probably.
Just as they finished, Jean appeared, unsteadily walking out of the bathroom. He stopped not long after, leaning against the doorframe. Patched up and cleaned, he still didn’t look like his usual, confident and complacent self. Now he reminded Levi of a puppy who was thoroughly and viciously kicked. His hair was now clean of blood, but the shirt was still covered in red patches. Levi would have offered him one of his own t-shirts, but… on Jean’s lanky body it’d look more like a crop top. Or a child’s shirt.
“I’m sorry,” Jean murmured, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t know it’d lead to this.”
Yeah, they almost never know. Levi sighed, there was no point in scolding boy any further. He had realized his fuck up already, his buddies from the gang made sure of that.
“What the hell happened?” Levi asked, his back turned to Jean, as he went to prepare the tea for all of them. It would help to soothe some of Jean’s injuries, and it would also help to relieve Levi of the building tension in his shoulders.
“I… wasn’t quite ready for this life, I guess,” Jean sat down on a bed, covering his face with hands. “There is a guy I’ve been working with, he stole some drugs he was supposed to sell, and other gang members found out and decided to punish him, make an example out of him, but that guy… he was my friend, sort of? We hanged out a lot, and I just couldn’t see him get hurt like that…”
“Oh my god!” Sasha’s hands flew to her face and her mouth opened wide. “Did you get beat up because you tried to protect Marco?”
Connie snorted. “I see you’re getting over Mikasa pretty quickly.”
Behind his hands, Jean’s face started to gain color. “I just helped a guy out.”
“And didn’t even ask for a kiss after the heroic rescue?” Sasha teased.
“There wasn’t much time for kisses after the whole gang started running after us.”
“You poor thing,” Connie patted Jean’s head, sharing a mischievous look with Sasha. “Didn’t even get a kiss for all the trouble.”
The two boys started to bicker, and Levi watched the scene, feeling the pounding inside his head increase. It’d be a long, long night. The one he’d have to spend sleeping on a floor, because there were three brats in his room and only one queen-sized bed.
He raised a hand, putting a stop to the argument that was starting to raise in volume.
“Is the other guy alright?” he asked Jean, as he handed him a cup, filled with steaming tea.
Jean accepted the drink with a grateful nod, but didn’t answer the question right away, staring inside the cup thoughtfully. “He managed to get out of the city. The assholes that beat me up caught me just after he got on a bus.”
Well, that was certainly good news. The only one they received since the beginning of this evening.
“You have to run away too, preferably for quite some time. Those guys won’t forget about you so easily. Do you have a place where you can hide?”
“Well…” frowning, Jean rubbed his neck, “My parents have a summer house…”
“Excellent, does anyone know about it?”
“No, not even these idiots,” Jean answered, pointing at Sasha and Connie.
“Then take these idiots, because your gangster pals know, where all of you live and work,” Levi grumbled. “And get out of here first thing in the morning. Spend a few months in the countryside, wait until this shitty storm is over.”
“And what about you? Now they know about you too.”
What about him… good question. And a very easy one to answer. He’d have to change cities again, luckily, he already had some experience with that. Sure, it was an inconvenience, but… better than live his life and have to constantly look over his shoulder, or die in some dirty alleyway. Perhaps, he’d be able to return some day, when the tensions were long over.
“I’ll leave the city,” he told them. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You had to run away before?” Connie asked, awe written all over his face. “So cool!”
“And you beat up all these guys for us!” Sasha agreed, adoration shining in her gaze.
“You aren’t just a janitor, eh?” Jean stared at him with narrowed eyes.
Levi saved from answering by a loud shrill of the phone.
Everyone in the room tensed, Levi felt his heart pounding inside his chest, a relentless boom, boom, boom. He wet his lips, his throat suddenly too dry, and stood up.
“No!” Jean grabbed his arm, stopping Levi from picking up the phone. Levi understood his panic, it was the middle of the night, who in their right mind would call him at this time? Who would call him period, all the people Levi knew in this city were sitting next to him. Unless, it was Shadis who got out of his drunken stupor and decided to have a friendly chat with a janitor from his bar?
And if it wasn’t Shadis, then…
Acutely feeling his every heartbeat, Levi pulled his arm out of Jean’s grasp. Swallowing that persisting lump inside his throat down, he put his hand on a phone handle. Slowly, holding in his breath, he lifted the phone and put it to his ear.
“Is your name even Levi? Or was that another lie, you asshole?”
That voice. Her voice. Levi helplessly fell back in the armchair behind him.
“H-hange?” the crack in his voice was heard and analyzed by a bunch of kids, who now all stood beside him. Levi waved them away, drowning out the intrigued murmuring, and focused on a person on the other side of the line.
“You still remember my name, I’m flattered, Ackerman,” ah, so she found out. Not surprising in the slightest, but disappointing nevertheless. But how did she find out? And when? And why she was calling now? And how she managed to obtain the number of a motel he was staying at? So many questions, Levi wanted to ask them all at once. He didn’t even know where to start. “And just a piece of friendly advice, next time you go into hiding, don’t go around asking police officers on a date.”
Well, that was one question answered. Only one hundred remained.
“Are you going to arrest me now?”
“No, unfortunately,” Hange bitterly replied. “I need you, Ackerman. For work,” she added, before Levi could get any ideas and just before his heart started racing like crazy. “Take the first flight back to city, if you don’t want me to drag you out of there by force. I’ll be waiting for you in the airport.”
Hange was going to end the call, Levi could practically see her finger hover over the button. Before she did, he cried out, “Wait!” and then, much more calmly he added, “What do you need me for?”
“Your uncle went missing. I need you to help me find him.”
The line went dead immediately after that. It took Levi another moment to pull himself together.
Kenny was… missing? Kenny, his ruthless, unstoppable uncle? And Hange was looking for him? Too much was unknown, too much was unclear, too much was yet to be explained.
One thing for sure, he wouldn’t find the answers here. Well, one problem was solved then, he didn’t have to change cities anymore. He’d just have to return home.
“So.”
Just a short word, but so much meaning was put in it. With a feeling of dread, Levi turned to face Sasha. He shuddered at the sight of her wide, shit-eating smile.
“Hange, hm?” she asked, twirling a lock of hair.
“Hange is your someone, right?” Connie excitedly exclaimed. “Your Mikasa?”
“Hange is his Marco,” Sasha corrected, earning a vicious curse and a middle finger from Jean. “I guess it’s all over with Mikasa.”
It was all over with Hange too. There was nothing with Hange to begin with. And there would be nothing, because apparently she hated him now. For a good reason too.
Fuck. Kenny, Hange, the brats, they all caused Levi a massive headache. And there was no running away from it, they’d find him whenever he ran.
Perhaps, it meant that he had to stop running. And come back home.
“Let’s go to sleep,” he told the kids. “A long journey is ahead of you. And ahead of me too.”
“You’re leaving? To your Hange?”
“Hange is not my someone, I’m just leaving,” Levi grunted, turning off the light. “Go to sleep before I knock you all out.”
Thankfully, they listened and got on a bed without a word of complain.
“It’s good that your Hange found you,” Sasha mumbled, already sleepy. “Maybe, now you won’t be so sad anymore.”
Sasha seemed to fall asleep immediately after, not waiting for Levi’s answer. Or, perhaps, she wasn’t interested in it.
Soon Connie was out as well, and even Jean, after a few of tosses, turns and more than a dozen pained groans managed to settle in comfortably and fall into deep slumber.
Levi didn’t get so lucky, the thoughts about what tomorrow would bring swirling in his mind and keeping him awake.
But, well… at least his melancholy and homesickness wouldn’t be a problem anymore. After two months of being away, he was going home at last.
Strangely, the prospect didn’t seem that thrilling.
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Lucifer Relationship Headcanons
I really didn’t care much for Lucifer in Season 1. He was a dick, he bullied Mammon, and he tried to kill me like what...3 times? But I’ve been really pleased with his character development in Season 2 and 3, and getting to see a much more vulnerable side to him.
Lucifer x gn!MC
You know the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? That’s Lucifer.
When your relationship first starts, he’s very passionate with you in private.
He likes to make out with you, grab your ass, that sort of thing.
If you’re looking for a sexual relationship, he’s got you covered on that front as well.
But it’s not until the two of you are forced to spend some time apart that he starts to realize just how much he craves your affection and companionship.
He had taken it for granted since you always were around when you first started becoming serious about each other.
It really surprises him the first time you just hug him when you reunite and he feels so freaking happy.
He’s been in relationships before, but he’s never had that feeling of bliss that comes from just being near someone.
Possibly because he never took the time to really form a genuine connection with another being since he was always busy with his duties and his brothers.
Once he realizes that it feels so good to just be near you, expect a lot more casual touches from him.
A hand on your lower back when you’re walking together. Asking you to sit in his lap when he’s listening to music. Cuddling with you by the fire.
He’s still a very private person though, so don’t expect a lot of public displays of affection (he may occasionally kiss you in front of his brothers just to show off).
His favorite form of affection quickly becomes hugs, especially if he gets to hug you from behind.
He also loves to hold you when you sleep, with your head on his chest.
It just makes his heart feel so full to know that you trust him this much after everything he put you through during your first year.
He’s also a big fan of receiving massages. Nothing helps him unwind faster, and he quickly becomes soft!Luci.
We all know he’s a work-a-holic.
You’ll need to make sure he takes care of himself because he seems to think just because exhaustion can’t kill him, it’s not a problem.
Emotional blackmail is honestly the best way to get that done.
“But I’m so lonely, Lucifer. I miss you.” 🥺
And he can’t say no to you when you look at him like that.
Over time, he may even trust you enough to let you actually help with any tasks that don’t need his direct attention. The sort of things he doesn’t feel comfortable trusting his brothers with, but he doesn’t exactly need to do himself either, he just does because “it’s easier to do it myself.”
After you’ve reached that stage of trust, it’s easier and easier to get him to head to bed and to take breaks because it all becomes a matter of routine.
He just gets used to you showing up with a plate of light snacks or some hot tea. He doesn’t even need to set a timer, he just seems to know when it’s time for you to show up.
If for whatever reason you’re not around to bring him refreshments, he will still take a break and get them himself because he’s just so used to it.
Congratulations! You’ve successfully trained your demon!
If you’re the one who needs help, he’s always the first one there to offer.
At first, he tries to just take matters into his own hands, because it’s so ingrained in him that he’s responsible for everyone.
You’ll have to call him out on it, and remind him that the two of you are supposed to be equal partners.
He’ll be offended the first time you stop him from doing it for you (wounded pride and all that), but he comes to respect you for it and this of course leads to an increase in trust.
It might be tempting to just let him take care of everything for you, but please don’t. :( The poor man deserves a break. Let him spoil you with love and affection, but please don’t make more work for him.
Make the habit of leaving little notes for him, just tiny squares of paper that you can slip in between the stacks of all his paperwork.
Things like “I love you!”, “can’t wait to hug you again”, “we should have a date soon”, or other sweet messages that just make him think of you.
He loves this, and will keep each and every one in a special locked/cursed drawer in his desk. Even Mammon learns after (1) attempt to never touch that particular drawer.
Those matching necklaces you purchased him for his birthday? He never takes his off, keeping it safe, close to his heart underneath his shirt.
He loves it when he notices you are wearing yours, and frequently encourages you to wear clothing that makes it more visible.
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dennou-translations · 3 years
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Violet Evergarden Ever After: Chapter 2
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The Night and the Auto-Memories Doll
   Everything went around.
From past to present and from present to future. The dead bodies that decayed within the soil would dissolve into the earth, and from the earth, too, would new living creatures be born. Within a few hours’ time, curtains made of stars and nightly shades would be covered over by curtains in the colors of dawn.
People went around as well.
Children would be born, muster out their voices, start walking and, once they became aware of their own selves, their stories would begin. A cycle of discovering passion, coming to know love, stopping to be children and, upon sympathizing with other families, birthing offspring just as their parents had done. A cycle of learning about the world, spreading information, teaching their knowledge to younglings without sparing any of it away and generating more such younglings. A cycle in which someone’s story was someone else’s encouragement, and those who were encouraged would conceive stories of their own.
Everything went around.
There was one cycle here. It was the story of a meager cycle that likely could happen anywhere in the world.
A man picked up a wild beast from a small island to which he had drifted. It was a beautiful beast, but it had been stocked with skills long before coming to his hands. Skills for slaughtering people with ease and seeking submission.
Their first meeting was terrible. His underling had attempted to lay his hands on the beast’s beauty. As if it were a given, the beast had killed his many subordinates, leaving only one person. That was him. Granting him both disaster and salvation at the same time, the beast had sought subservience in regards to the man.
The man fled around the island where all but himself had been murdered, but gave in and accepted the beast. The beast was useful, but also an existence that he could not handle. Be it morning, noon or night, his head was troubled with the beast, his heart unable to calm down.
Essentially, he was a man who did not want to be shackled by anything. After all, he had a past of being forced into submission by his household and parents. He had escaped from his responsibilities and his home, jumping off into the sea. The man, who had been born in a family that bore the name of a flower, had run away and gained freedom.
He yearned for it – for a freedom that no one could steal from him – more than anything. Even if he had to cast away his little brother for it. Therefore, the man had done the same in the beast’s case. The one who mattered most to him was himself. He wanted to break free from that horror. Most likely, he had cut off from himself a child in need of salvation.
Everything went around.
——O God, I want to                                .
Everything.
   A voice that sounded like bells echoed.
“Captain,” it whispered, as if to tickle the man’s ears. “Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”
It was evening. A time when people were returning to their homes.
“What would you like to do?”
An orange light shone from the window inlaid with stained glass. With the sunset reflected on the elaborately designed interior decoration, the place itself looked like a single work of art.
“Could it be that, because of the impact earlier, your hearing has...”
It was supposed to be. The place where the person who called out so insistently and the person who intentionally ignored her were in was an art gallery that just recently had its interior and exterior finished.
“As if.”
“I am relieved. Then, I would like to ask if you have a plan.”
In a place they were not supposed to be at, the two who were not supposed to be together were kneeling on the floor in resignation.
“Captain.”
“.............................”
“The civilians are in a predicament.”
“................................”
“Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”
“............”
“What would you like to do?”
“..................”
“I would like to ask if you have a plan, by any chance.”
“.....................”
“The civilians are in a predicament.”
“........................”
“If I may offer my opinion, firstly, I could act as a decoy—”
“Be quiet, monster. Don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over. Don’t breathe either. I’m thinking right now.”
Dietfried Bougainvillea, a naval captain of Leidenschaftlich, eldest son of the Bougainvillea – a household of patriotic national heroes – and the man who had picked up Violet Evergarden in the past and brought her to this country, was covering his eyes with his hands due to having too much on his plate. The little bit of silence and darkness had brought him relief, but someone’s sobbing, the voice of a man reproaching it and the sound of a person being brutally kicked and tumbling down dragged him back to reality.
He had a severe headache. Whether it was caused by his anxiety or his injury, he had no idea. He put a hand on the back of his head and examined it, but only a bit of blood had come out.
In order to somehow spit such awful mood out of his body, he took deep breaths. He felt that he had become a little better, but the unpleasant sensation returned once he opened his eyes and cast his gaze at the woman next to him. A spoon of discomfort, rejection and fear each was thrown into Dietfried’s emotional vessels, set on fire and boiled up. However, the most prominent feeling was something else.
The woman who had been talking to him so insistently until a moment ago was now quiet just and not letting out a single breath as he had told her. Violet Evergarden.
Dietfried looked fixatedly at his former servant. The woman, whose appearance had transfigured considerably in comparison to when they had first met, bore a radiantly shining cold beauty, which was even more conspicuous under such tense circumstances. She was almost like an ice sculpture, Dietfried thought.
——Even though you used to stink like a wild beast...
She now smelled of nothing but flowers.
——...you turned out just as I’d imagined.
“You’re a siren.”
Silence.
“My little brother destroyed a train station just to keep you alive; you’re a siren through and through. I’m not into you, but my mental stability is wrecked right now, and I’m sensing the harmfulness and influence that your existence brings about in that. You’re unmatched when it comes to breaking things and causing problems.”
Dietfried had once told his brother that the beast could become a siren. He had meant to say so including all sorts of matters. This young woman named Violet was a creature that God had created by mistake and had not been born under a good star. When one was by her side, there were many of them.
“Damn troublemaker.”
Many problems. Even though she had not wished for it, she had been born this way. Under a star that attracted disasters.
——It goes round. All of it.
He ran and ran from her, yet they would end up meeting, thus Dietfried had started to think that it might be some sort of divine revelation at this point. Telling him to face the girl that he had thrown away.
Violet was still, hand on her brooch. He someway guessed that it was given to her by his younger brother. He felt like clicking his tongue. This girl might become the worst-ever wife whose hand his most beloved little brother was going to take.
——We can leave that for later; gotta overthrow this situation first.
Determined to fight this reality, Dietfried then turned his gaze towards the sight that spread out before his eyes. Women, men, elderly people – everyone was crouching on the floor with guns pointed at them regardless of anything. Obviously, the same applied to Dietfried and Violet.
Unexpected situations – situations in which they could not make a false move even if they were on their own, let alone in the presence of so many civilians – were responsible for this. On top of it, Dietfried was also saddled with someone that he had to protect despite not wanting to. Of course he would feel like clicking his tongue at it.
Perhaps they were thought to be lovers, as no one said anything even while they stayed close to each other.
“Hey, did you really stop breathing?”
She did not seem to be in agony, but her figure as she diligently obeyed made Dietfried feel uneasy.
“I was joking; breathe.”
Violet’s blue eyes blinked with a snap.
“Yes.”
And then, she finally let out a breath. Dietfried hated himself for being remotely relieved that she had safely started breathing again, was what he thought.
“Hey, you.”
“Yes.”
“From now on, follow my orders. Don’t act on your own accord.”
“All right.”
“I’m gonna save the civilians. It’s my duty. There’s no helping it, so I’m counting you in that math too... No idea what my little brother would do if he found out I’d let you die. Even if it weren’t on purpose, if anything that could kill you happened under these circumstances, I really have no way of knowing what he’d do. He’d probably hate me.”
“No, Captain, he—”
“Have some self-awareness, Monster. My foolish younger brother blew up a train station to let you live. This fact did turn into a subject of teasing towards Gil for no matter how much time passes from now, but if you think about it on normal terms, it’s out of the ordinary. That’s the way you’ve changed him. Damn witch...”
She was the tool that he had found and that used to exist for his sake. A woman who used to be a dog with no name. An orphan whom he had picked up from a solitary island, brought back with him, attempted to get the most out of yet was unable to, and then threw away.
Asset. Girl soldier. Automatic assassination doll. Witch.
——Even if I don’t want to, for now, I gotta protect this thing and take it home.
“I’ll save you, so you save me too, Witch.”
Fate went around, adding a chance meeting as the best seasoning for a finishing touch. After all, at this very moment, Violet Evergarden and Dietfried Bougainvillea were being attacked by robbers and had weapons thrust at them.
“That’s awfully unpleasant for me, but I’ll take action by considering your life to be the top priority. Not for you. For my little brother.”
Understanding that she had received permission to talk once she had received permission to breathe, Violet gave her own opinion, “No.” She did it directly, without any restraint. “No, that is my job, Captain. Major... Lord Gilbert loves you.”
Dietfried’s eyes blinked. Those green orbs were staring fixatedly at Violet since earlier, enough to seem like they would suck her in. They were green jewels in a different shade from his younger brother’s. Those green gems, enveloped in shock, reflected Violet’s serious gaze.
“I shall guard you, no matter what happens,” Violet declared with resolution, like a knight. “I will obey your orders to the best of my abilities, but if I judge it to be dangerous, I shall take action with your safeguarding as the maximum priority.”
“Hey.”
“I will definitely protect you and bring you to Major safely. Please do not leave my side, Captain.”
“That’s my line,” Dietfried said while nonetheless wanting to kill Violet.
   For the exchange between the two to reach this stage, things had first begun when morning visited Leidenschaftlich. This might be going back much too far in time for a clarification, but it all had indeed started since daybreak.
The morning weather was overflowing with sunlight on that day – typical of Leidenschaftlich in early summer. Early rising ladies formed queues in the bakeries that opened at dawn and little birds flew about the shops’ surroundings to receive breadcrumbs. There was a café three stores away from one of the popular bakeries, famous for serving floral teas, its signboard girl preparing to open it. If one went further ahead, there was a bank, and round said bank, there was a main street lined with large-scale shops.
An art gallery arranged to open the next day had been erected on the main street. Its name was Artemisia. It bore the name of its owner, who was an artist.
The gallery Artemisia displayed the works of its proprietor, of course, but it also had works of artists from within and abroad Leidenschaftlich. There were rows of works from unknown young artists that the owner had taken interest in as well, devoted as she was to the cultivation of new talents.
The Artemisia Gallery, which was to become a place where novel forms of Leidenschaftlich’s art would be born, was scheduled to hold a pre-opening party today, attended only by the people concerned. The gallery’s staff had started cleaning its interior and the sidewalk in front of it from morning.
Around noon, a restaurant employee hired for the sake of that day had visited, bringing in wine, snacks and table sets. As for the dishes, there were two types: the ones that had already been prepared and the ones that would be made by borrowing the kitchen of the owner’s residence, which had been built on the gallery’s top floor. Since eating was not the main focus, the preparations were merely enough for the upcoming guests not to feel hungry.
As evening came, the inside of Artemisia began to speed up with haste. If there were anyone in command of such a scenery, they would likely be asserting with a baton: “hurry”, “faster”, “elegantly”.
An envelope closed with a wax seal bearing the establishment’s crest. Customers arrived one after another with the invitation taken from inside of it at hand. For a pre-opening party with a limited number of invitees, there was a large amount of people. The elect few of Artemisia’s employees were in a flurry of activity.
“Bring me a coat” here, “not enough drinks” there, a plate breaking somewhere. “Where’s the owner?”, “Got caught by the guests”. “There’s no one to give us instructions”, “Oh, well” – just like this, things descended into chaos behind the scenes.
Normally, their job was to calmly recommend artistic goods. Therefore, they were unable to hide their bewilderment at handling so many visitors at first. Nevertheless, if one looked at the guests being entertained, how were they? Appreciating the artworks, looking like they were having a blast. Upon seeing this, the employees were able to understand deep down. That “what, so things are the same as usual”. By the time that the customers were completely familiar with the gallery’s interior, the employees were able to show smiles with a little bit of ease.
Among the guests invited to Artemisia, a foreign body completely unrelated to this world was mixed in.
It was a woman. A beautiful one at that. From an appreciative viewpoint, there would be nothing to complain about if she were one of the artworks. She was clad in a ribbon-tie one-piece dress, snow-white as a flower in full bloom on a summer day. Her long, softly curved golden hair extended to her waist. Perhaps she had come straight from work, as she held a heavy-looking trolley bag on one hand. “Click, click,” knocked her cocoa-brown boots against the marble flooring each time she took a step.
She walked while observing every artwork one by one. Idyllic landscape paintings, abstract paintings that looked like silver ink spilled on pure-white paper, oil paintings in which the people seemed as if they would move at any moment. Glassworks and ceramics that one would be very afraid even to look at from nearby. At first, the exhibition was of works from artists renowned within the country, but the small hall of its latter half integrated displays from artists who were still nameless. The woman stopped in front of one such work.
A painting of whimsical fantasy. Was it a winter sea? It depicted various things falling and sinking into dark and cold water. A pocket watch, a feather, a bed, a knife, a white flower and a chair. All were worn-out and had damaged parts. At first glance, one would not know what it was expressing. Only the boy painted in the center seemed to pierce through the viewer.
He was still a teenager and his appearance could also be considered that of a girl. After staring at him for a while, the feeling that he was supposed to be saved would surface. Because the boy had a facial expression that almost looked like he was making eye contact with the viewer as he fell. But this could not come true. He was sinking in the picture. No one on this side could do anything. One would not know what to do with themselves after looking at it – it was that kind of picture.
“Excuse me; I was the one who painted this. Is there anything wrong with this painti...”
Suddenly, a voice called to the woman from behind. A rock thrown into the quiet atmosphere. A low tone that cut through the dimness of the room.
People were mostly heading towards the famous artists, so the woman had been all by herself on that spot until just now. The man who had showed up a bit late was coincidentally the creator of that fantastical painting, and found himself talking to the woman who had stopped in front of his art. That was an extremely natural encounter for a pair. If their positions, circumstances and everything else were different, something might have been born between them. It did not have to be romantic love, just something – something else that “the two of them originally had”.
“Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”
The moment the woman turned around, the space resounded with a loud squeak. It actually had not resounded, but at the very least, Dietfried heard the thump of his own heartbeat, which gave his whole body goosebumps. He was enveloped in a strange sensation, as if the blood inside him were flowing backwards. One of the things he had once evaded in his life was standing there.
“What’re you doing, Monster?”
Violet Evergarden.
Before the emerald eyes that Dietfried possessed, of a hue different from his younger brother’s, there was a young female Auto-Memories Doll. The reason why he had not recognized her from the back was likely that her golden hair was slovenly loose.
He had not had a chance to see her after she had become a grown-up ever since the incident during the Flying Letters. Only people who had great amount of interaction with each other would be able to tell such a thing just by looking at someone’s back.
“I was looking at the paintings, Captain.”
Violet was expressionless. However, her hand alone promptly searched for her emerald brooch and squeezed it.
“You, paintings? Can you understand them?”
First, a scornful laugh, and then a head start with a verbal attack. She needed to put up a defense line. After all, this girl was formerly a weapon. An automatic assassination doll.
“I cannot. It is just that... my eyes and legs stopped.”
She was the one and only woman that Dietfried feared. If he had run into anyone else, his emotions would not be so disrupted.
Dietfried was scared. This girl was terrifying.
“I caused you trouble last time.”
He knew the things she had done. He knew whom she had killed. And he also recalled how he used to treat her, telling himself that it was all right.
“By asking about Major.”
Because she was a monster.
——O God, I want to                                .
These words wandered about in his head. They were words that he had prayed in his childhood to the one that he would meet at some point – probably in his dying moments. Thinking back on it now, it had been a foolish, immature and helpless wish, but he was serious about it at the time.
Looking at this girl made him remember his embarrassing past self.
“I shall see myself out. Captain, please take your time.”
“Hey.”
Violet had decided to retreat from the place, putting it to action. She concluded that this would be a peaceful solution for both sides and that it would secure each other’s survival.
“Hey, wait.”
However, Dietfried still had something that he wanted to say.
At the call of restraint, Violet’s feet halted mid-step. She then gazed at Dietfried. “Why?” her eyes were asking.
Choosing to leave must have been her own way of showing respect. Considering the current and the previous relationship between two of them, it was a sound judgement. Hence, she stared at him presumptuous and mutely.
Even now, it pierced Dietfried. That quiet “why” perforated him.
Despite being the one who had told her to wait, Dietfried lost sight of his next words. He had tons of complaints. Rather, complaints were the only thing that ever came out of his mouth. Most likely, he had never presented any warm words or attitude to her. No, he had at least patted her head when they parted. But what about it? That was all he had done. Which perhaps was the reason why.
——What did you think of that painting?
Just a question like this was exceptionally challenging for him. If it were anyone else, he would surely be able to ask as easily as breathing. He could also boast that he was the one who had painted it. However, only with this woman was it so difficult.
A long silence drifted between the two. A truly long, long silence.
The mood was almost like two beasts had come across each other in the wilderness and were estimating which would attack first. Both were underdeveloped and, not matching their insides, only their appearances were actually full-fledged. Seen from the sidelines, they were a beautiful adult man and woman looking at each other, but the air flowing between them was that of a battlefield.
Dietfried was starting to sweat. As for Violet, even her breathing was becoming shallower.
Violet seemed to be thinking about something. She opened and closed her mouth, repeating it several times. What should she do in that situation? What was best? She was probably unable to decide. This was something that not just Violet but also Dietfried was thinking about, yet the degree of seriousness in behavior was surprisingly higher on Violet’s side.
She would normally not be like this.
He was the person that even Violet Evergarden, who had written so many letters, was at loss as to how to act around. That was the man called Dietfried.
Perhaps her thinking had eventually arrived to a conclusion, Violet left her baggage on the floor and put her hands behind her back. “Feel free to.”
At first, Dietfried had no idea what she was doing. Violet looked like she was offering her body.
“Ha...?”
Without hesitation, almost as if she were a tool.
“I am still. Feel free to.”
“Feel free to feast on my life,” she seemed to say. Her current self overlapped with the beast of the past.
“To do what, is what I’m asking...” Dietfried’s mouth felt sticky, giving him a hard time mustering words out. His head had been occupied mostly with how to mend the blunder that he had exposed to her, so he could not respond to Violet’s surprise attack immediately.
“Do you not remember? I used to do this whenever I had to receive reprimand or punishment.”
He could not. All of the information that had been fluttering about in Dietfried’s head until now disappeared. It vanished.
“You, what the...”
The owner of the blue eyes that stared at Dietfried as if to shoot through him always did unexpected things, tossing him about.
“I did not know how to speak back then, so in order to show that I had no intention to attack you, Captain, I would do this.”
Those eyes.
“No matter what I say, surely... there is no atonement for me. With time, I have come to understand the things I... did. And how much terror I made you go through. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the kindliness of placing me under Lord Gilbert. I wish to pay you back somehow. If you say that it is unnecessary, at the very least, do as you please.”
For whatever reason, when those eyes asked him “why”...
“Be it with fists or with reproach, as much as you want.”
...his chest ached as if it had been stabbed.
“Feel free to.”
If that place were not a quiet art gallery, Dietfried would have yelled furiously at her, without caring about shame or his reputation. He managed to ball his fists hard enough for it to hurt and swallow down his angry voice due to his high level of self-respect.
“I hate that about you...”
This girl always made him aware that she would never act as he expected.
“...to death.”
At the words spoken by Dietfried’s quivering tone, Violet took a step back. Her stance of offering herself did not change, but her instincts were on-guard, wondering if she was not going to be killed by this man. Seeing that, Dietfried sneered at her figure.
“You’re the one who could choke the life out of me anytime,” he seemed to say.
Dietfried suddenly felt the heat that had gone up his head cooling down. Violet had taken a step back. That became the trigger for him to regain his composure. Because he was able to reconfirm that she was but a child in the end. This innocent aspect and action that were much like what a child would show to an adult exerted a great influence on the other party. Dietfried loathed that.
For he, who despised interventions from anyone, had so much aversion to it that it make him want to vomit.
Those who were accustomed to oppression from others would very easily choose to hurt people. She was inwardly frightened of that tendency. Yet albeit frightened, she prioritized others over herself. That creature was like a mass of contradictions.
——Disgusting. Stop. Die. Don’t look at me.
He did not want to get involved with her. But he had a mountain of things to say. However, when it came to whether or not he could properly do it, even if he managed to squeeze them out, they would turn into nothing but abusive language.
There was a large lake between the two of them and all they could do was gaze at the opposite shore, unable to tell how deep it was. Their first meeting was to blame for that. It was the cause of everything.
His underlings had attacked her and she had killed all of them. She then chased and chased after him, making him into her master. Despite there being a hierarchy, Violet was the one who had a grip over his life.
One would understand, after spending time with the girl, that this was a necessity for her. She was always like that, ever since the island only the two of them knew. Whenever anything happened, she would prioritize Dietfried. After all, even as he handed her over to Gilbert, she had not resisted.
If anything could be changed, that was the moment.
The two who never mingled with each other met again countless times in a parallel line. On such occasions, they would become unable to make a move due to shouldering the truth of rejection and of the things they had done, thus running away.
——Gilbert.
What did the person who brought the two together, whom they loved most, thought of that?
“You... I...”
——If I could change for Gilbert...
“Captain...?”
——If I could change, right here and now, for your sake...
Would it be easier for him to breathe?
Just as Dietfried was about to make a bitter decision...
“GYAAAAAAAAAH—AAAAAAH—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
...an incident occurred.
   It was clearly not a hasty crime. The scream of Artemisia, the owner, echoed, and by the time that Dietfried and Violet had bolted from the quiet hall where there was just the two of them, robbers were already thrusting their weapons mostly at vulnerable women and children, having them on their knees. The course of action was far too swift.
Wide-eyed, Violet swung back her trolley bag and was about to throw it at them, yet Dietfried stopped her.
“Are you stupid?! Those aren’t all adults that can run...!”
Among the hostages, there was also a little girl held under someone’s arms, looking like she did not understand the situation.
“I will save them as fast as possible and take control of the rest.”
“They’ve got guns; what’re you gonna do if they hit someone else with a warning shot?! There’s the other artworks too... This ain’t a stage for a tactless bastard like you to brawl! Just stay put for now!”
“But, Captain—”
“Stay put!”
While the two were trying to push past each other, the robbers took notice of them.
In the main hall, perhaps in order to bind people up through fear, the men were being beaten without exception, being put on their knees over the floor. Seeing that, the women naturally sat down, trembling, and began to cry.
While screams were resounding like music, one of the robbers headed towards the duo. “So there were still weeds growing here?” was the look in his eyes as he swung his firearm emotionlessly.
Dietfried would have managed to avoid it. He had done it several times until now. He could do it as easily as floating on water. If he could catch the man’s gun with one hand and pulled it just like that, he was able to picture the opponent falling over as a reaction. Once he stole the gun, he could shoot each member of the robber gang one by one in the head. And then, there would be a gunfight. He would have done that if he were alone. Yes, if he were alone.
——Why now of all times?
There was nothing more humiliating than a punch that one had to resign oneself into receiving. But he had things he had to protect above his own dignity. Thus, he accepted the attack without dodging. If he were to start a scuffle amidst the current situation, he did not think that all of the people who had become hostages would remain unharmed. He would aim for a chance. That was what he should do. He made such decision not only for his own welfare but also for that of other people.
However, the automatic assassination doll made a completely different one. When her eyes glinted like that, she quite literally moved on automatic. She came forward to take his place. In that instant, the face of Dietfried’s younger brother was the only thing crossing his mind.
——Gil.
It was almost as if he had readied himself to do it. That was how quickly his arm reached out. He forcefully embraced Violet and turned his back towards the robber. A violent hit struck him from head to back. He could hear Violet’s breath quietly catching while holding her in his arms.
And such was how they had arrived to the present.
   Dietfried did not think that his decision to suppress Violet was a mistake. He was aware that she was the woman who had fought by herself against terrorists inside an exploding train, but it would be a problem if she did something of the sort in the Artemisia Gallery.
Right now, he felt like a pet owner containing the rampage of his mad dog.
As for the mad dog herself, she had grown quiet ever since Dietfried had been hit, as if her functions were gone. Dietfried had pushed away the hands that had attempted to give him first aid. Any false moves and the robbers might beat him again.
She, who always took upon herself to protect, wound up being protected. On top of that, she had let the other be injured. This must have caused her to fall into despondency, enough to result in service outage. However, with time, she had rebooted and was rousing herself up once more to get through this situation.
“I understand that I should refrain from the use of force in an art gallery. But should we not place human lives above the artworks?”
——Whose fault do you think it is that I got hit on the back of my head?
Because she was saying the most obvious thing with the most serious face, Dietfried grabbed the collar where her brooch resided, taking the brooch along, without thinking. The thread that fastened the ribbon-tie dress’s button let out a screech. It was not the kind of deed that a gentleman would do to a lady. But Dietfried did not loosen the strength that he put into his grip.
“You... Do you still need disciplining from me?” he said, voice filled with rage, close enough for their faces to touch. “Think of this as a place that can hardly compare to any other... This thing’s pretty important for you, isn’t it?”
After blinking with a snap, she opened her mouth once, then closed it.
Once Dietfried’s hand let go of her, she grasped the brooch as if to protect it. She was more concerned about the brooch than the crumpled bust of her dress. She stroked it over and over, making sure that it had not been damaged.
Finally, she whispered in a dazed state, “I understand.”
“As if an idiot could,” Dietfried said with a snort, yet the other was a poker-faced Auto-Memories Doll. No matter how much he hurt her, it would have no effect. That was what Dietfried had thought.
“I understood completely. I will avoid combat here as much as possible.” Alas, her voice sounded a little faint.
Dietfried stared at Violet from the corners of his eyes. The brooch was indeed important to her. She was holding it down with both hands. She did not want anyone to touch it – that was what she was indicating. The two of them were speaking in an awfully low tone, but her timbre just now was as thin as the cry of a mosquito.
Dietfried said with a somewhat softer voice, “Good that you get it. I’m indebted to the owner of this gallery. I’m gonna choose the best I can for her sake too.”
“All right.”
“Human lives are the priority, of course. But we’re not gonna fight in a stupid way.”
Like a child, Violet nodded repeatedly.
“You’ve only ever been doing body guarding, murders and military action, and that’s why you don’t understand. In the sea... In fleet battles, we fight to protect. Our way of thinking is different from those who fight to conquer.”
“To protect...”
“If you can’t put brakes on them at sea, the enemies go to land. The reason why Leidenschaftlich is called a military nation ain’t just the army’s achievement. I’ve... never taught you how to fight at sea, huh... For now, forget the method of destroying and taking control of everything. Learn from my ways.”
“Understood.”
Dietfried was inwardly surprised at the obedient reply. Rather, even more than this, he was surprised that he and the “beast” were able to have mutual comprehension.
When she was in his hands, this beautiful Auto-Memories Doll was a “wild beast” that did not know how to speak, as well as a tool. An incontrollable beast, to boot.
“Still, if that is how it is, please do not forget that your wellbeing is my top priority all the more. I shall fight to protect you, Captain. Please do not think of protecting me for Lord Gilbert’s sake. If necessity arises, I will not might if you use me as a shield. I can be replaced, but there is no substitute for you.”
If, at that time...
“This is also linked to protecting Lord Gilbert.”
...in that place...
“Bye, Monster. This guy’s your next master.”
...he had educated and guided her instead of letting her go, would she have grown up the same way?
“Shut up.”
Would she have thought like that?
“Shut up, Monster.”
He had never even thought about it.
Another side of him immediately answered “no” to the self-questioning. Surely, a Violet Evergarden raised by Dietfried Bougainvillea would not have turned out like this. He might have at least taught her how to talk. They would have trouble communicating otherwise. He would have probably given her clothes and personal belongings for daily life. Bringing her along when walking around would look bad for him.
However, when it came to whether or not he would have bestowed this girl with something that would be enveloped in her hands with utmost zeal...
——I see; so it’s the same color as Gilbert’s eyes. That brooch.
...he would undeniably have not.
——Come to think of it, she was always following me around from behind ‘cause she hated being alone.
If there was anything he could have done for her, it was to at least fill up a coffin with flowers and leave it available for her. He did not intend for anything to happen, but he might have done that much. After all, if Violet had stayed beside Dietfried Bougainvillea, she would have surely died before him, for his sake.
“We’re gonna do an act.”
——Aah, Gilbert.
“An act?”
——I’m always late to realize how great you are.
“That’s right. You’re the one who suggested it, so I’m gonna make you into a decoy.”
——You’ve made that filthy beast into this.
“Understood.”
——You were able to change her like this.
“First, take this... It’s late for that, but... you got any questions about a joint struggle with me?”
As Dietfried asked, Violet responded with her neck tilted, “Why...? I do not.”
For whatever reason, his former weapon would show scraps of emotion only at times like these. Just innocently, unaware that it was merciless of her.
“Please use me correctly, Captain.” She smiled.
   Why had robbers attacked the Artemisia Gallery?
There was a certain amount of history that led to such violence unfolding amidst everyday life. Firstly, it would be preferable to start with the time when a turning point happened in the life of the robbery’s main offender, but that would be rewinding too far. On to a brief explanation.
This case was a crime committed by a habitual criminal.
There were various reasons for people to rob, yet the advantage was but one. Earning compensation within a short period. Good citizens would be paid for their work, but thieves did not share this mentality. People received rewards through serving others. In order to gather a large sum, a long time and effort were necessary. Thieves abdicated from this. To achieve success, no matter in what land, a person had to be equipped with skills as a rule of thumb.
If one could stop after doing it once, why did they do it countless times? There were people here and there who thought this about criminals. It was because, if they had succeeded once, they could do it again. They were instantly able to attain things that they would have to spend a long time out of their lives to earn. This was the arrival of an opportunity to do that.
Once one got used to it, identifying opportunities was surprisingly easy.
Supposing that there was someone who excelled at predicting people’s thoughts. The other person’s personality would be determined by the movements of their eyes, the way they breathed, their voice tone, the relationships of power in their background, their social position and other such things, so one would be able to deduce what kind of conduct should be taken in order to derive the “correct answer”. It seemed like magic at first glance, but it was no more than the result of someone continuously keeping watch on another person for many years.
Since this was a strategy against individual matches, the robbers needed a slightly better ability to grasp the environment. As they were walking around the city, they incidentally found out that a new gallery was going to open. The opening date was also announced. It appeared that there would be an event only for those concerned on the day before.
No matter the establishment, dealing flawlessly with the inauguration of a new shop was difficult. Even if there were people in it who already had experience working in a gallery, but the use of their abilities to have control over such a situation and proceed with it smoothly was different. Employees would be in quite a panic on the day. If it was a members-only celebration day, there was no mistaking that the original state of the security that should be guarding the gallery would be insufficient.
And so, the robbers had thought, “Aah, if you poke this place, it’ll surely crumble down.”
They did not have any grudges in particular. They had simply judged that they could do it, thus undergoing the assault. The truth was merely that the Artemisia Gallery had been unlucky.
How many hardships the owner had gone through until she was able to open the gallery, had she lived her life bowing her head to other people? How many artists were looking forward to seeing their work exhibited in the gallery? The feelings of such people could be trampled miserably at times.
Not that many people paid any mind to weeds when walking. That was all. Except, this time, the Artemisia Gallery had been lucky about just one thing.
“No good... Hum, excuse me...! She suddenly...!”
A naval captain who loved art...
“Ugh...”
...and the woman who used to be called Leidenschaftlich’s War Maiden were amongst the hostages.
The man who had caused a commotion and pleaded to one of the robbers in a panic raised both of his hands as a display of no resistance. He was a long-haired a man. His slightly curvy dark hair went past his shoulders. Right next to him was a woman holding her stomach and trembling.
“What?”
A few armed men gathered around them.
“It seems her stomach hurts.”
“Just a stomach ache? Leave it alone.”
“You’re telling us to let her go to the bathroom? We still gotta watch these people. Besides, she’s a woman. If someone takes her to the toilet... Well, how much stuff did we get?”
“We’ve piled most of the paintings in the carrier, but there’s still the ornaments. It’s still gonna take a while.”
The robbers had a choice. The option to either silently let her suffer or kindly take her to the restroom. Beating only the men was likely one of their policies. They did not hesitate to make use of violence when needed, but when it was not, it was best to have as least animosity as possible in order to get through with things unobtrusively and quickly take the treasure. It seemed gentlemanly but was a self-righteous thinking.
“What do we do? The Head is...”
“The Head got in the car first. As if we can ask him stuff like this every single time it happens.”
“Head” probably referred to the member worthy of being their chief.
As the quiet exchanges continued in front of the agonizing woman, she finally lay down on the floor while still holding onto her stomach. The man who had appealed about her bad condition shook her shoulders, telling her to “hang in there”.
As if she had received a signal, the woman raised her face slowly. Her gemstone-like blue eyes were visible through the gaps between her disheveled golden hair. She was covering her mouth, perhaps trying not to vomit. Even so, it was easy to tell that the woman’s looks were remarkably good.
“It’s gonna take a while, huh. Besides, we’re gonna need the women later.”
Her eyes locked with one of robber’s as though sucking him in. One would not understand the destructive power that having this woman look up at them from their feet with her eyes wet had, unless they witnessed it themselves.
“Then, I guess it’s okay.”
From the vulgar smile of the man who had said so, one could presume what his intentions were. As the woman was covering her mouth, the robber instructed her to stand up, pointing his gun at her, and then took her to the restroom.
After that, the woman and the robber did not return for a while. Since there were no other people who mustered out the courage to say that they wanted to use the toilet, the period of their absence passed as if it were natural. In the meantime, the gallery’s exhibits were being carried one after another to cars with roof racks parked outside the establishment. The robbers were dressed as employees who worked with the transportation of goods, so even those walking down the street did not think there was anything strange about that work scene.
Once they had finished relocating most of the merchandises, one of the cars left the gallery. The other one that remained parked was meant for the getaway of those who were keeping watch. With the artworks that had been collected for the sake of this day snatched away down to the last one, the gallery was bare. The owner, Artemisia, had all the while been suppressing her cries and shedding tears.
Apparently, those thieves were quite the habitual criminals. They had threatened everyone with armed force upon entering the establishment, robbing people of any resistance, but after that, as long as everyone stayed still, they would do nothing but coldly keep control of the hostages, not even raising their voices. If people did as told, they would not lose their lives. That hope made the hostages obedient. Even though they were robbers, this seamless way of dealing with people was like that of artisans. They did not think of humans as humans.
“Excuse me; I just... want to lend her a handkerchief. That’s all. The sleeves of her clothes are already soaked with tears. Can’t you allow just this much?”
Hearing a voice from the back, Artemisia turned around. It came from one of the artists that she had invited over for today, whom she had known for quite some time. She was shaken by a sense of guilt that she had done something terrible to him as well.
Their first meeting had started at a certain recreational facility, when she peeked from behind while he was painting a landscape. She did not know his occupation, but they kept in touch and she had him show her his art. It seemed he had always been drawing as a hobby. He told her that even most of the people who were close to him did not know he painted, and that he had truly only been doing it for himself.
The busy man had weaved his way through spare time and the work he brought had swayed Artemisia’s senses. At first, he had hesitated at her request to put it on display, but then smiled like a boy and gave her his ready consent, looking happy.
——Aah, God. Please give it back. Please give that fun time back to everyone.
Artemisia was upset and vexed at the fact that the artworks were being stolen, but more than anything, it felt like the regret towards everyone who had been looking forward to this day would split her chest open.
“Hey, he told you to use this.”
He had lent a handkerchief to Artemisia through one of the robbers. Artemisia wiped her tears and managed to lock eyes with him somehow. She then mouthed a “thank you” to him without letting out her voice.
The man smiled. But it was not the smile that Artemisia knew. He was different when he talked about art. She had shivers before she could think. His eyes were not smiling.
“                              .”
The man said something to Artemisia. As he had only moved his lips, Artemisia could not tell whether she had been able to read what he tried to convey. She could not, but most likely, he had said:
“It’ll be over soon.”
Eventually, the robbers started to create an atmosphere of evacuation at last.
“Let’s take one person with us until we leave the harbor. Can be a woman or kid. Which do we choose?”
“Woman it is.”
“That guy was playing around with the woman we were planning to use for that, wasn’t he? What happened to him?”
Assuming that they would finally be freed, the hostages started fidgeting. They had faced a disaster and the artworks that they had dedicated their lives to making had been stolen. This joyful day had been repainted into despair. But they were alive. That was the one and only bright side of today. They would not be able to maintain their rationality unless they comforted themselves with that. At any rate, they wanted to hurry and be liberated.
Amongst them, there was a man who merely observed the robbers’ movements in silence all the while. It was the man who had been caring for a woman that had a stomachache, looking worried. Once the woman had been taken to the restroom, he became expressionless, as if he had lost interest in everything. Occasionally, there were moments when he even yawned in secret, as if he had grown sleepy.
“Go call him. We could use that woman as hostage. She’s young, so she can come back walking if we throw her away on the street.”
Hearing these words, the man let out his voice and laughed. By the looks of it, he had not intended to laugh, but wound up doing so. He put a hand to his mouth, but then shrugged and let the robbers see it. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you. But trying to rape that thing, huh? No matter how many lives you have, it wouldn’t be enough.”
“Hey, what’s with you...? Got a complaint or something...?”
The man kept laughing, as though to say that the robbers’ threatening figures were even more comical. With her eyes, the owner, Artemisia, begged the man provoking the robbers to restrain himself, for she could not afford to lose not only the artworks that she had collected but also a guest that she had invited, yet the man closed one eye at that and replied, “Artemisia, it’s okay.”
No one in this place knew his social status. Or his history.
In the past, Dietfried Bougainvillea used to wield a weapon that could become the world’s best. It was now away from his grasp, but it was not as if their master-servant connection had been completely severed. The beast had a high level of loyalty, so although they had met by chance after a long time, her heart recognized it. That he was the one she had been following in the past – someone worth being served by her. Therefore, the beast would attend him to exhaustion.
Only a limited number of people could handle the beast. The feeling that she had returned to his hands for now was somewhat strange.
“She runs quick.”
“Ha?”
“That’s why it’s the end for you guys. My bad.”
“Hey, shut this dude up.”
As Dietfried had suddenly started talking, the robbers naturally had a doubtful reaction.
“She’s as fast as a deer. And this is the city’s main street, so there are hotels nearby.”
“So, what’re you saying?”
“I left my bodyguards behind to come here today. They’re probably drinking at their room’s bar. There’re also guys among them who know that thing from the time when she was still by my side. I left my hair tie with her, so she should be able to convince them with that. I could predict that you’d take the things you stole to the port. It’s pretty difficult to get away from pursuers on land when you make such a mess in the center of this city. It’s harder to be tracked using the sea route than the land route, right? But the sea route doesn’t work against me. It looks like one vehicle left a while ago, but it’s over by the point they reach the port. You’ll probably go outside now, but if you’re thinking about taking someone along as a hostage, you’d better drop it. Many of my subordinates are hot-blooded. If you rouse them up like that, they’ll probably get too excited. If that happens, you’re the ones who’ll be getting the short end of the stick. No matter how many dead bodies fall down, we can deal with it all we want in the aftermath. We’ll need to get the stories straight, but today’s hostages will surely choose to cooperate with me. Having people trample on the proof of a life that you’ve lived with all your might is painful for anyone.”
The eloquent man did not run out of breath even when speaking nonstop in such a situation. However, this majestic aspect of him was reflected in others’ eyes as dreadful and similar to madness.
The robbers abruptly realized that all the hostages were looking far behind them. They felt that there was something behind them. It was like a ghost, hiding even its flame of life, simply waiting for the orders of its lord.
Outside the windows of the gallery, they could hear the sounds of someone fighting from around the area where the car was parked. Simultaneously, they could hear a faint breathing just behind them.
The respiration of a woman who was out of breath from running loomed over their ears.
“Do it, Violet.” Dietfried raised his thumb and made a swift throat-cutting gesture.
While watching his doll render the robbers unconscious with a strength as overwhelming as a monster eating people, Dietfried reminisced to the past.
——Everything goes around.
He recalled the time when the two of them were stuck in that isolated island.
The beast had been scared when the rescue fleet arrived. So had Dietfried. He would not be able to bear it if more of his comrades were murdered. Hence, he had taken the beast’s hand and guided her to the outside world. In his perception, it was the same as taking the reins.
There were no reins anymore now. No need for him to pull her by the hand when walking, either. There was nothing between them.
Not love, passion, attachment, desire, anything.
“Captain.”
There was nothing, but one thing was for certain.
“Captain Bougainvillea.”
If he called for her, this Auto-Memories Doll would most likely go to the ends of the world to save him. That was her nature.
“I have just returned. Are you unharmed?”
At that moment, the beast was well aware that he had called her name for the very first time. Her eyes were crinkling.
“Yeah.”
Just this much compensation was enough to make the beast smile.
   After a little while passed, Leidenschaftlich was embraced by the gentleness of the night.
Summer constellations were decorating the jet-black sky. Just as sunny as it was during daytime, the night sky was twinkling so brightly this evening that it could be called a banquet of stars. The day was about to end in Leidenschaftlich. Today was filled with chaos ever since morning.
While being observed by gathered-up onlookers, the arrest drama that had unfolded in front of the Artemisia Gallery was already coming to a conclusion, its many procedures and processing passed over to the military police. Seeing the stolen artworks safely re-delivered to Artemisia, Dietfried took a breather. His gaze then fleetingly drifted to the side. A dirtied ceramic doll was standing there. A woman beautiful enough to look like such, who shone amidst the night, was standing there. He had to say something to her. As one would expect, he should do that at least now. But he could not think of anything.
——“You did well”. “That wasn’t too bad”. “Good work”. “I commend you”... Which one?
Inside his head, words were being conceived and then disappearing. Just like the dreams that the sleeping children all around Leidenschaftlich were surely seeing right now. They were born and then vanished.
At last, he attempted to open his mouth, “Aren’t you cold?”
“It is summer, after all.”
And ended up talking to her like a man who was unused to inviting women out.
Violet Evergarden, who had been fighting reasonably and in order to protect, was still by Dietfried’s side. It was fitting to say that she had been today’s most meritorious person. The one who had come up with the idea of the arrest operation was Dietfried, but the one who had done all the work for it was Violet.
First, she had put up the woman-with-a-stomachache act and gone with one of the robbers to the restroom. She had then quietly strangled the neck of the man who had reached a hand to her shoulder with her mechanical prosthetic arms, making him pass out.
She had broken out and escaped through the restroom’s window. Rather than going to the military police, she had gone to the hotel that Dietfried instructed her to and notified the naval soldiers, who were enjoying cigarettes and drinks in a room on the top floor, of the circumstances. One of the soldiers, who happened to know her, had been frightened at first, but upon seeing that she had been entrusted with Dietfried’s ribbon, his facial expression changed and he contacted the military police, then informed the port’s security to reinforce their inspections.
Without waiting for them to get ready, she had immediately run back to the Artemisia Gallery and infiltrated it through the same route. A few of the robbers, who had the bad luck of spotting her, fell to the ground with one kick or punch to the abdomen, and so, she had finally returned. As Violet stood behind the remaining robbers while catching her breath, the hostages stared as if she were their safety, but Dietfried was sneering as he looked at her.
Just as ordered, she had saved Dietfried without damaging a single artwork.
“About what happened...”
“It will probably be best not to tell Lord Gilbert. He would worry.”
Upon seeing the last artwork be brought in, Violet took the trolley bag that lay by her feet. She likely intended to go home by herself.
After making her do so much, something similar to guilt was now sprouting within Dietfried. He wound up acknowledging that she, too, was important to someone. That was what he thought after the battle, when he saw Violet stroking her emerald brooch as if to confirm that it was there.
Even though she used to be a wild beast whom no one would mourn if she died.
——Aah, that’s an excuse. It’ll be nothing but an excuse. If so, then I don’t wanna say it.
Back then, when she was by Dietfried’s side, every single day was filled with madness on all accounts. They used to roam around battlefields, fighting from dawn to dusk, growing too accustomed to violence. The war then ended, peace had returned, and he realized that an era in which he could even make art was arriving. That those times were abnormal and the way he felt now was the default.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No need. Your escorts must be waiting, so please, feel free to take your leave, Captain.”
“It’s fine; just this time. I’ll take you home.”
“No need.”
“I’ll take you. Listen up, this is an order.”
“I cannot accept your command.”
“You little... You were taking action like I instructed you to just a while ago.”
“Because it was a state of emergency... Besides, Captain Dietfried, it would be reasonable if I were to take you home, but the opposite is illogical.”
“What’re you talking about? You’re a woman, aren’t you?”
“A woman”. Finding himself asserting this with his own mouth, Dietfried regretted it even more.
The corner of Violet’s lips had a cut and blood was coming out of it. Her ribbon-tie dress was drenched in sweat. Even those who did not sweat much would be like this after such a huge scuffle during summertime.
“I’m calling a carriage. It’s all right; just wait right there. I’ll see you off until you get inside the Evergarden house. And then it’s goodbye. We’ll never see each other again. No matter what you and Gil become, we’ll never see each other again.”
What he had done today to this woman, who had become fully able to accept someone’s love, was not something that a son of the Bougainvillea should ever do to a lady.
After they had hopped into the carriage, a moment of silence went on for a while.
——Is it okay for her to keep such an open secret even though those two are a couple?
Dietfried found himself accidentally concerned about his younger brother’s love life. After all, this situation might be a betrayal to his dearest brother. Gilbert had completely forgiven Dietfried. For pushing the headship succession onto him. For not having any consideration for their family. For forcing an indescribable wild beast onto him. He had forgiven everything.
Thinking back, the only time that he attempted to push Dietfried away, saying he would not forgive him, had been when Dietfried offered Violet to him. He had called it “human trafficking”. Told Dietfried not to be violent with a child.
Most likely, those two were each other’s only exception from the very beginning. There was probably no pardoning what Dietfried had done to Violet today. Gilbert would forgive most things. Save for matters related to the one and only thing that was most important to him. Being hated by a loved one. This could cast a shadow over anyone’s heart, regardless of how old they were.
“It is all right.” The voice that cut through the silence was thrown at him as if to soothe him down. The words sounded almost as if she had perceived Dietfried’s uneasiness. “If, by any chance... word ends up reaching him through someone else about this case, I will definitely defend you, Captain Dietfried.”
“‘Defend’, you say?”
“To tell the truth, I often get involved in large-scale incidents without Major knowing. But I return without fail. To Leidenschaftlich. I will return today as well. Therefore, we are all right.”
“What do you do out there?”
“We were separated for much too long. Therefore, we have many moments that the other does not know about in the first place. Perhaps even now, too. I have work to do and so does he. We have limited time to see each other. However, I will definitely always return to Major. He knows this as well. Even when we are apart, that person is the only one who occupies my mind. I am not sure if I convey it to him properly, but that is how it is.”
Her statements were something that would normally make him burst into laughter, but Dietfried was unable to do so.
——When did you become like that?
Dietfried hated Violet. Several factors had induced his emotions to it.
——Now you can correspond to someone’s love.
He saw himself overlap with her. Her subservience to adults and the way that she herself wanted it disgusted him. He despised the wild beast that did not yearn for freedom. Despised the fact that she had been trained by someone to be this way. Despised everything. To begin with, Dietfried did not have many things that he liked.
Even the number of people who could become kind had a limit.
The truth was that, even if he wanted to be kind, it was no longer possible. He had prayed to God for it countless times in the past. However, unable to achieve this, a man named Dietfried Bougainvillea existed.
——O God, I want to, he begged a certain Someone in his mind for the first in a long time. Perhaps since his childhood.
Still, this sort of being did not give any reply to calls. Even now, he had no idea if his plea had reached Him. It was certainly impossible. His and Violet’s stars were in a position that would not radically change.
Nevertheless, for some reason, he had the overwhelming desire to ask someone for forgiveness today.
——I wanna go back.
Not even he knew where to.
——Hurry and be over, this day, today and the time I have to spend with her.
He was not annoyed.
——O God, I want to...
But painfully miserable.
“Captain.”
The carriage ran amongst trees dyed in the darkness of the night. A cool voice echoed amidst them.
Violet was looking at the scenery outside. She was observing the moon, which chased after them, no matter how far, far apart they were.
The moon was something that would continue to exist forever. Unlike stories. Regardless of whether Dietfried concerned himself with it, everything about his story would come to a closing one day as well. Demise would arrive even to the things that he did not wish to ever be over. Even the feelings he had now would end.
“How was I today?”
“What?”
“Did my work earn your satisfaction today?”
Dietfried could not read the intentions behind Violet’s question at all. She was someone whose emotions he could not read in the first place, but it was even harder to understand the meaning of that sentence.
“What do you want to say?”
Silence.
“Hey, just say it straight. Don’t be dodgy with me.”
“All right,” the cool voice entered his ears once more. Such coldness resembled the night, but it never left his ears, easy as it was to catch.
Violet turned her neck and cast her gaze at him. Slowly, blue and green eyes blended with each other.
“I...”
Bathed in moonlight, she was simply, purely beautiful, enough to take Dietfried’s breath away.
“When I was with you, Lord Dietfried, my work was never satisfactory. Now that I became an adult, have I finally been able to repay my debt... with my work?”
“What d’you mean by ‘debt’?”
His voice was hoarse. He suddenly felt as if this icy woman had robbed his entire body of its heat. The inside of his mouth was extremely dry.
“I mean everything. It all started when you brought me from that island. I am the way I am now because you entrusted me to Ma... to Lord Gilbert.”
“If you’d stayed with me, probably nothing good would’ve happened.”
“How would I be if I had continued to serve you?”
These words became a bullet and pierced Dietfried’s heart. He felt as if his breathing would stop at the unexpected question. Things had been like that since the distant past. Dietfried would reconfirm time and time again that she was a woman who could have become a lethal weapon for him.
“So you also imagine a hypothesis... of ‘what if’,” her exquisitely cold voice rang within the darkness. Upon being asked, “You too?”, Violet nodded.
That was his line, Dietfried thought, but Violet then sent his gemstone eyes a dream-like gaze. His existence might be devoid of realism to her.
Violet began to whisper. If only she had disobeyed that order back then. If only she had rushed to him a step faster at that time.
“Back then, if”. “Back then, if”. “Back then, if”.
She could not bring myself not to think that, if only she had had this extra step, he would not have lost that emerald eye.
“Besides, I wonder... if I had managed to protect him back then...”
She had to let go of her most beloved lord’s hand and was entrusted to someone else as if she had been thrown away.
“...I would not have had to spend that time away from Major.”
Thinking back, she had always been abandoned and then picked up by somebody. She should have been used to it. That was the star she had been born under.
She was originally a foreign body to this world and was supposed to have been eliminated. Her destiny had also flowed in this way. The reason why Violet had rebelled against her sectioned path, despite having been tamely submitting herself to it, was that the other was special.
——I also threw her away.
He had thrown his home away. Thrown away his little brother, who cried in protest. And thrown away this beast.
“I also wonder what would have happened if you had not left me with Major.”
This woman.
“But all of these are akin to dreams, crossing my mind and fading away. After passing through countless ‘if’s, I...”
He had pushed this woman onto his brother and forsaken her. Looking at her made him sick. He was also scared of her. Most importantly, he would have stopped being himself. This terrified him.
“And now, I have become an Auto-Memories Doll and am spending a night with you.”
This woman possessed an element that transmuted people.
“Y’know, you’ll be alone one day. You’re the one who’s got the longer lifespan, aren’t you?”
Violet closed her eyes at those words. If she had pictured numerous “if”s, this would obviously come to mind as well.
“I do not know.”
“If that happens, what’re you gonna do?”
“I do not know. But are you not the same as me when it comes to this? You love him, right?”
“I’m... I’m the older one. I’ll be gone sooner.”
“No one knows about that. But... if, one day... I do become alone... if I am left living by myself... my order will still be valid. I will probably live on.”
If she ended up living by herself, this supposition was the cruelest of things to the beast. Just what did he want to do by making her say this now?
Thinking back, ever since they had first met, he had not known how to deal with her. Should he have protected her? Killed her? Protected? Killed? Or perhaps...
“That is why I write letters every day. Even if they do not reach him, I write letters to Major every single day.”
Silence.
“Captain, what will you do?”
“Me, huh? I... let’s see. Paint, I guess.”
“A painting or Major?”
“That’s right.”
“May I go see it?”
To Dietfried Bougainvillea, this wild beast was both a woman and a monster from the very beginning. She was now as far-off as a dream.
“You’re the only one of my relatives who knows I paint. Do whatever you want.”
   ——O God, I want to be a good person.
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dragonnan · 2 years
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Psych for the fandom ask? 😊
Bahahaah!! My first looooove!! And no lie like I watch lots of shows before Psych came along but nothing has ever grabbed my heart and soul the way that series has!
The first character I first fell in love with: Shawn (as if that’s a surprise). Also likely to be a surprise is I tend to fall hard for characters that I love to whump.  Especially in the earlier year he was the whole package of charming/asshole/adorable/funny/complicated daddy issues/absolutely brilliant/clever/devious/incredibly loving/selfish/oddly self-sacrificing.  Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark sums up everything I love about this character.
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Carlton Lassiter.  He was really just a jerk, early on.  He seemed to revel in being an asshole and didn’t seem all that redeeming.  It really wasn’t until “Weekend Warriors”, the 6th episode, before I felt we really got to see another side to Lassiter beyond his “badass asshole cop” persona.  And, for me, it took me well into season 2 before I truly started to warm up to the character.  My favorite Lassiter moments, from a rather Lassiter lite episode (Tuesday the 17th) are when he finally lets go of his ex wife.  TO THIS DAY the scene where he watches her walk away, with Priscilla Ahn’s "A Good Day” playing in the background, makes me cry. 
The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Woody.  That isn’t to say I hate him but I feel that his goofiness was just over the top and got worse as the years went on.  His only real role is that of the comedy relief.  I actually wish they had given him just a LITTLE more seriousness now and then for balance.
The character I love that everyone else hates: Joy?  Possibly?  It seems like I remember people disliking her.  Or maybe it was people just salty about her dating Shawn, however briefly.  (okay “dating” is probably a strong word for their relationship lol).  I feel she was a character we really could have used more of.  ESPECIALLY with her connections in the legal field - something the characters absolutely could have utilized.
The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I..... don’t think there’s anyone??
The character I would totally smooch: Damn, Shawn, Gus, Lassiter... all very smoochable lol! Granted I think only Lassiter or Gus would actually be someone I’d want to marry.  I love Shawn to bits but I will never not think he’s too much of a flake to settle down with lol. 
The character I’d want to be like: Juliet or Karen Vick.  I think they both are driven and honorable and faithful people who have tons of courage and skills to do their jobs and don’t tolerate fools (outside of Shawn at any rate lol).
The character I’d slap: Shawn.  Please - you know he’s earned it a few times.  But all in love.  Now a character I’d slap with my whole hand wearing brass knuckles and with intent to kill?  Uncle Jack.  That sonofabitch NEVER got the punishment he deserved and that will always be a sore spot with me!
A pairing that I love: Lassiter and Marlowe (I am very much separating the actress from the role here).  Their whole way they met - the absolute ROMANCE of him waiting for her while she was in prison - the way they made each other better people - SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!  Like honestly outshines Shawn and Juliet for me even though I DO like those two together as well. 
A pairing that I despise: “Despise” is way too strong a word but I never cared for Shawn and Abby together.  Yeah, they had cute moments and stuff but they always felt too much like their entire relationship was built out of Shawn’s trauma since it started IMMEDIATELY after he’d faced Yang for the first time.  Plus it created something I DO despise which is a love triangle.  I loathe love triangles with a passion.  And to top it off she broke up with Shawn immediately after his second traumatizing Yang encounter and that never sat right with me.
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pink-bird-30 · 3 years
Text
Titans 3x10
Spoilers Ahead
Read at own risk!!!!!
I don't think frustrated is a strong enough term for me to explain how I feel about this episode, but of this entire season as a whole.
Dick mf Grayson, what has happened to you?!?!?!
First off, why go back to the hospital to look at the eye test board? Are you admitting to your hallucinations or just the writers jerking us around? What is the importance of seeing the figure in the eye exam if they are not going to explore it further?!
Glad to see Gotham is back on its usual shit of setting itself on fire and all the residents acting like this is something new. Bruh, I think Gotham was constructed on Hellfire with how often things go sideways; I can't even imagine the taxes to live there.
I'm interested in Gar reading up on the Lazarus Pit. For anybody that knows about Ra's al Ghul, you know that when you get tossed into the pit, you lose your soul. SO are we witnessing the shell of Jason or or the writers forgot the basics of the comics and forgot to put that important piece of the puzzle into play here. Cuz if so, you waited until episode 10 of a probable 13 episode season to explain that Jason lost his soul?????? and still didn't even get to the point because Gar was interrupted by Gotham bullshit.
Why did they make the people of Gotham seem rabid and not, idk, sick? They drank Crane's Toxin and they're acting like dogs with rabies that can pull their joints back into place? like what?
The inconsistency in this episode killed me. Dick and Babs went to a bar causally in the middle of this hell hole of an episode for drinks. And Babs ordered a fucking coffee???? bro, the water is contaminated and you're ordering coffee?!
I'm not even going to touch Donna with a 10ft pole right now because I just don't understand why they had to show her trials with Lydia. It look away from the main plot that was disrupted last episode since we were in the Shadowland getting Tim and Donna back, but still didn't continue that plot into today. What happened to Tim, where is Bruce, how did Donna get to Gotham from wherever the Hell Bruce's other Manor was? Just why?!
I'm glad season 2 Dick showed up for .5 seconds to turn himself in. That was refreshing to see some normalcy from him. This whole scene had me annoyed because Dick talks about them being "family" and what not, but where have you been all season? You have no idea what is going on with any of these people. Does he know Kom and Connor are a thing? Does he know Kori is still hallucinating just like him? Does he realize Gar is the only one who genuinely cares about Jason? Dick has som twisted view on what family is.
The scene when they are all driving to turn themselves in. We are given a scene where Kom is vulnerable and showing her fears of being taken in by the police. But when they pull up to the precinct, we see Dick and Kori exit their own vehicle. So you are telling me that wE COULD OF HAD A SCENE OF DICK AND KORI TALKING ABOUT WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN? AND THEY DIDN'T SHOW IT?! WHERE IS MY SOFT DICK THAT WOULD SHARE HIS INSECURITIES WITH KORI ABOUT THE DECISIONS HE'S MAKING. (I will obviously be writing a fic about this later).
Jason and Crane are really annoying me now. Crane is a "good bad" but I don't get anything from him. He seems lazy and unconcerned and it bothers me. He's not actively trying to take out the Titans, but instead uses a video to do it form him? I don't know if that is because I'm so used to performative villains in these kinds of shows, but even the past two season the villains were always ready for more. Crane makes me bored. I kinda liked it better when Jason was unhinged.
Big surprise, Gotham cops are dirty.
Okay, we need to break down what happened with Kom and Kori. I'm really torn about whether or not Kom took Kori's power's on purpose. Kori is a very passionate person, whereas Kom is collected and preserved. Their personalities clash all the time, and it makes it hard for me to believe whether Kom is good or not. Kori talks about needing to save others and do what is the best for Gotham, where as Kom is always concerned with their status as Queens and thinking of themselves first. This is what makes me believe Kom did it on purpose when the opportunity presented itself. If not, I do believe she would have found another way. As for Kori, I think she has a right to be unsure of Kom's motives, she knows her sister better than all of us (which is fucked cuz, how are we to know them without knowing their past). In the end I think Kom needs Kori's full trust to break her.
As of right now, Crane has only managed to knock one person down, which was Barbara. But he still has an entire team of people to pull apart and it's taken too long. Slade managed this in 5 seconds last season.
In this entire episode, only one thing rang true, and Dick put it perfectly: "Gotham is on it's own." Which is sad considering Bruce wouldn't have let it go this far. Gotham needs Batman, not the Titans.
After thoughts:
Where is Tim? is he okay? Does Dick care this kid basically died and never mentioned anything about it again?
Bruce, where did Donna leave him? Is he in a safe place where he can't try to blow himself up again?
[Edit cuz people are jerks, It was great to see Rachel again]
Guys, we really need some good shit next week cuz I'm tired.
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randominagines · 3 years
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Request: um do you mind doing a nick smut with this promt stop teasing me or I won't hesitate doing the same to you
Requested by: @purpl3st4rs
Pairing: nick clark x fem!reader
Setting: season 2
Warning: smut, sex language, what if
P.s. if you find any mistake please correct me, English is not my mother tongue and I want to improve. Reblog, if you can, it helps a lot, thank you💕
P.p.s. gif belongs to the creator
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To make amends
Y/n was just mad at her boyfriend. She couldn't find him: the Thomas Abigail Ranch was huge and she was tired of walking around in search of him. -- This is just pointless, maybe he's gone for a walk. -- Alicia said and crossed her arms while looking at y/n sitting next to her on her bed. Whenever she was worried about Nick, she used to go to Alicia to find comfort. -- For a walk? During a zombie apocalypse? -- y/n rhetorically asked while squeezing with Alicia's pillow, her friend sighed. -- You know Nick, he's just like this. Whenever he wants to do something he just does it without even bothering to tell anyone. He will be here soon. -- she tried to comfort y/n an caressed her back. She nodded and stood up while putting the pillow back on Alicia's bed. -- I'll go eat something, I'm nervous and I need a distraction. -- she said while running her hands through her hair. Alicia nodded and gave her a glimpse of a smile. Y/m left the room and walked toward the kitchen, her mind already portraying the worst kind of scenario in which Nick had been murdered or worse, turned into a zombie.
She entered the kitchen and walked toward the fridge trying to make less noise possible, it was very late and everyone was asleep; her stomach was mumbling because she hadn't touched food all day long, she as too nervous to eat. She was about to open the fridge when she felt an arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her. She gasped. -- Babe, it's just me. -- Nick's voice made the knot that was closing her stomach disappear. She immediately turned and hugged him. -- You jerk! Where have you been all day long?! I was crazy worried. -- she scolded her boyfriend trying to keep her voice low while squeezing his shirt. He probably had just finished showering, he had a strong soap scent on his skin and the tip of his hair were still a bit wet. She looked at him and noticed he was wearing a blue shirt with a black jacket, probably new clothes, and his hair were not messy for once. Yes, definitely just got out of the shower. He gently caressed her head. -- Y/n, I was doing something for Celia. I didn't warn you this morning because you were sleeping peacefully for once and I didn't want to wake you up. -- he explained while looking at her, his eyes filled with love. She pushed him back and crossed her arms over her chest. -- So you thought that making me wonder if you were alive or dead all day long was a better idea than waking me up for a second? -- she rhetorically asked while raising an eyebrow, he scratched the back of his head but smiled trying to hug her. She dodged his touch. -- No, Nick Clark, you won't get away with this so easily, this time. -- she said and sat on the kitchen table; she was wearing a denim skirt and it was quite short so she immediately felt the cold wood under her legs and frowned. He walked toward her and out both of his warm hands on her legs; the contrast between Nick's hands and the table made her wince. She looked at him in his eyes. -- Now you're going to tell me what the hell is going on and why you're always doing stuff for Celia. -- she commanded and he sighed, he knew that she was stubborn enough to go on asking that for days. He surrendered. -- Okay, I was searching someone for her. A zombie, actually. -- he said as if it was the most normal thing ever. She widened her eyes but he went on. -- She believes that they are not entirely dead and she keeps them here, at the ranch, maybe hoping that one day we'll have a cure able to take them back to their... well, humanity, I suppose. -- Nick explained while brushing a lock of her y/h/c hair behind her ear, she shook her head but caressed his cheek.-- Nick, I know this is a strange world and we've seen a lot of things, but this really is the most nonsense idea ever. -- she said and scanned him with her eyes, she was not sure Nick agreed with her. He sighed. -- I want to believe that a better way than killing them all is possible. -- he said and she tenderly smiled, her hands cupping his face. -- Oh, baby, your heart is too pure for this world. -- she whispered and kissed him. He immediately caressed her legs and she opened them to let him get closer to her. She caressed the back of his head, the familiar sensation of kissing him making her feel butterflies in her stomach as always. He bit her lower lip. -- Am I forgiven? -- he joked and she rolled her eyes, her arms crossed behind his shoulders. -- Absolutely not, can you imagine how stressed I have been all day long? The tension was killing me! -- she complained and pretended to be tired, he shook his head and laughed, his fingers drawing figures on her legs. He kissed her, more passionately this time. His tongue searched for hers.-- Can I try to make amends? -- he asked on her lips, a smirk appearing on his face, she raised her eyebrows and felt his hands caressing her inner thigh. -- What do you suggest? -- she asked and he smiled, his hands now gently pushing her on the table as to invite her to lay down, she did it and he removed his jacket to put it under her head. She smiled at his thoughtfulness while spreading her legs.
He immediately started to kiss her inner thigh, his lips teasing her with small kisses. She ran her fingers through his hair and softly moaned. He smiled at that sound and bit her there, she rolled her eyes. -- Nick... -- y/n whispered while spreading her legs even more, he smirked and raised his head to look at her. -- Yes, baby? -- his breath on her clit, she sighed in frustration. He moved her slip aside and she expected him to finally give her what she wanted, instead he kept kissing her inner thigh while his hand gently squeezed her legs. She knew he was playing, he loved driving her crazy. She raised her torto to look at him, her eyes stuck into his while her head grabbed his shirt to pull him toward her. Her lips crushed against his, her tongue licking his lower lip and her hands sliding under his shirt to scratch his shoulders. He grinned on her lips when she stopped kissing him, she was breathless. -- Stop teasing me or I won't hesitate doing the same to you. -- she whispered, her lips on his and her eyes challenging him. He chuckled on her lips and grabbed her by her neck, his touch rough but delicate at the same time. -- As you wish, babe. -- he whispered before pushing her down and quickly moving his head toward her legs again. He didn't waste more time: he took off her slip and his tongue was finally on her clit. She let out a moan as soon as she felt her boyfriend sucking it and immediately covered her mouth with her head. He smiled at the thought that they were risking to be caught by the whole ranch but didn't stop licking her. She pulled his hair as to make him notice that she was absolutely loving his touch and he understood that she was craving for more when her nails scratched his shoulder. He fastened the rythm of his tongue while penetrating her with a finger. She widened her eyes trying to avoid moaning but her legs started to shake. He loved giving her pleasure so he raised his eyes to look at her, there was nothing more beautiful to him that seeing y/n like that. He enjoyed the view of his girlfriend feeling so much pleasure and felt his own growing inside of him. His tongue circled her clit and she looked at him, her hands in his hair. -- Oh shit, Nick, do it again. -- she begged while her legs opened wide, he repeated the previous trick with his tongue and made it faster. She felt she was about to come and covered her mouth with a hand, the other one pulling her boyfriend's hair. He started to move his finger faster and sucked her clit, the other hand sliding under her shirt and squeezing her nipple. She arched her back, her orgasm finally exploding inside of her. He smiled feeling the familiar heat of her orgasm on his finger while gradually slowing down. As soon as his tongue stopped, she caressed his shoulders. -- Come here, I want to kiss you. -- she whispered. He obeyed and his lips meet hers, she could taste herself on his tongue. He caressed the bare skin of her legs while biting her lower lip. She caressed his chest and looked at him while standing up from the table. -- My turn -- she said and pushed her hair behind . He grinned and grabbed her neck again, making her moan, and kissed her roughly while she started to unbotton his belt. She licked his lower lip before smiling at him and kneeling down, her hands dropping his trousers and boxer. He threw his head back when she took him in her mouth, the movement being slow as she knew he liked him. He moaned her name when she scratched his chest, her nails leaving slight scrapes there. She took the base with her hand, working her fingers and her tongue simultaneously to pleasure him. She used to find his pleasure even more beautiful that her own; making him happy was the best thing for y/n. He moved her hair from her face to look at her, nothing turned him on as looking at his girlfriend during sex. She raised her eyes to meet his and he felt his orgasm getting too close. He reluctantly stopped her. -- Babe, come here. -- he said while inviting her to stand up.
She knew he didn't want to come so she nodded and stoop up, his hands immediately grabbing her waist to kiss her. She jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist, perceiving his desire pushing against her crotch. He turned and sat her on the table without stopping kissing her. She moaned when he bit her lower lip. He smiled and started to kiss her neck, his hands caressing her legs while she was spreading it. -- Nick, just fuck me. -- she whispered, her face hidden in the crook of his neck. She smiled, his lips still on her neck, and pushed inside of her. She had to summon up all of her good sense not to scream in pleasure. He put his hand on her mouth and started to fuck her, the sound of their bodies crushing against each other was the only one filling the room. She looked at him in his eyes while removing her shirt and exposing her bare breasts to him. He immediately grinned and bit one her nipple while tormenting the other with his fingers. Her hands caressed his shoulders while he fastened the rythm, they were both close. He saw drops of sweat running down her neck, between her breast, and understood that she was about to come. He kissed her passionately while pushing inside of her fasted, his fingers now drawing circles on her clit. She softly moaned on his lips and widened her eyes, pleasure burning in them. He felt his own suddenly growing. -- Nick... -- she whispered out of breath and came, her walls tightening around him and her eyes rolling behind. He smiled, his lips biting her neck and kept pushing untill he felt he was about to come too. He looked at her and she immediately understood: she quickly kneeled down and took him in her mouth again, his orgasm raining on her tongue. He moaned her name while coming.
She waited for him to be done before standing up and looking at him, his fingers caressing her breast. He crushed his lips on hers and kissed her, passionately at first, the adrenaline still burning in him, but the kiss slowly became more intimate, delicate, tender. She caressed the back of his head while smelling the typical scent of sex, made up of body sweat, passion, dirty hands. Nothing about having sex with Nick was unpleasant, she absolutely loved sharing intimacy with him. He was the love of her life, after all. He smiled while taking her shirt and tenderly helping her to wear it again. She also picked up her slip while he pulled up his trousers and took his jaket. She smiled brushing his messy hair and he caressed her cheek. -- I love you, y/n, I didn't mean to scare you today. -- he whispered, his voice sounded sincerely filled with regret. She shook her head and caressed his lips with her thumb. -- It's okay, you're safe, that's all that matters to me. I know I can't stop you from doing what you think it's right, just promise me you'll be careful. I love you, I don't want to lose you. -- she said and he nodded while gently grabbing her by her waist to hug her. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and left a small kiss there, she held him tight. -- we should go, before someone comes for a snack and finds us here. -- he said and took her hand. They started walking toward the corridor and she laughed. -- I was here for a snack, actually. -- she confessed while walking close to him, he smiled looking at her. -- Well, we both had our snack. -- he joked and she shook her head chuckling. They entered their shared room. -- So, you're not hungry anymore? -- y/n asked as soon as she locked their door, he raised his eyebrow looking at her and putting his jacket on a chair. She grinned while throwing her slip at him, she hadn't put it on. He caught it and smirked looking at her. -- Someone hasn't had enough. -- he joked walking toward her and grabbing her by her hips. She kissed him while pushing him toward their bed: he sat on it and she immediately sat on him, her hands already umbottoning his shirt. She smiled seeing his bare chest, she hated full clothed sex because she used to find his body absolutely perfect and she loved watching it. He caressed her back while staring at her. -- I love when you take control. -- he whispered and she smiled in surprise: he was mostly a dom so he never admitted anything like that before. She didn't need to hear more: she pushed him down and lowered to him, her lips on his and her hands on his chest. She bit his lower lip before speaking, her voice a whisper. -- Perfect, then just let me fuck you, this time. --
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Some people gon be mad at me, but I gotta say it...
Some Scully fans don't understand Scully or her relationship/feelings with/for Mulder.
Scully's relationship with Mulder is this utterly pure thing that is grounded by how much she genuinely cares, respects, and supports him as a person. When you understand Scully's perception of Mulder in this view, seeing her as some long suffering woman doesn't make any sense.
Most of the time Scully sacrifices or choosing Mulder isn't based on romantic feelings, it's based in moral and ethical values and what she holds important. The show sets this up early.
In Squeeze, Tom asks "who's side are you on" and Scully says, "the victim."
This coincides with the side Mulder is on.
Tom was obstructing the case due to his on bias and hatred of Mulder. Despite Mulder's pettiness, Scully understands that Mulder will always prioritize the victim. She chose justice (Mulder) over pettiness (Tom).
When Scully declines a second date with the single father, she's choosing knowledge and curiosity over romance and her personal life.
Interestingly enough, Mulder never asked her to choose him. He's always asked her to be honest about the truth, but he never put her in that situation to prioritize him over her own professional goals or personal life. In fact, he would've understood if she did and said as much.
So when I say some Scully fans don't understand Scully, I'm not being insulting or intentionally rude, I'm saying they're overlooking small character moments that inform her characterization throughout the series.
Scully was not only a workaholic, she LOVED her work. And there wasn't just an obligation to Mulder, it was to the victims as well. I often think about how in this universe, if Mulder and Scully hadn't investigated these cases, either no one would've or it would've never been solved. It must've been something Scully also thought about as well.
Scully mentioned a few times that she joined the FBI to make a difference. Not for prestige or make a name for herself, but to make a difference. She didn't throw away her career for Mulder, she was exactly where she wanted to be. Those other cases handled by mainstream agents were always going to be investigated and solved (if possible), but x file cases?
There's a reason Mulder was called from bumfuck, Kansas or backwoods, West Virginia. There was no one else. Her and Mulder were the only two who took these things seriously.
But also, Scully genuinely genuinely cared for Mulder. Not because she wanted to fuck him, thought he was hot, or really wanted to date him. She enjoyed him as a person. Like truly. After working with him, understanding this beliefs, and meeting many victims, the x files became her passion project too. She attached herself to Mulder because there was no one alive she respected more than him. Someone who stood by their convictions regardless of what others thought to the betterment of people besides him.
He had his flaws, but the great parts of Mulder truly outshined the worst parts of him.
People often overlook how much the x files and her experience changed Scully. The deadpan, straight to the point Scully we know and love came to fruition in season 5. Believe me, I checked. Remember, Scully used to be goofy, open, and free. Then she was abducted, given cancer, kidnapped, sister killed over mistaken identity, etc. That changes a person.
But none of this is Mulder's fault. Mulder changed her in the best way possible. He opened her mind up and challenged her--it was intellectual. Those other things I mentioned made Scully pull within herself and close off. It made her guarded. So suffered so much emotional and mental and literal physical trauma.
As a result, her social interactions changed.
As a reminder, she became a workaholic because of her passion for the x files and she enjoyed it. Then to add on to that, her work was wild as hell, hard to explain, and some of it classified. Scully lived such a unique experience that regularly interacting with others would've been frustrating, exhausting, and her having a sense of feeling misunderstood. And dating would've been a minefield.
Thing is: Scully didn't mind this change to her life. This isn't to say that Scully didn't want or have any friends, it's to say that she didn't strive to have a booming social life nor did she care. Again, she VOLUNTARILY became a workaholic and threw away a normal life for paranormal shit. Someone who does that isn't trying to meet friends for happy hour on Friday or planning to have serious relationships any time soon.
Not only that, some people live lives like this right now and have incredibly fulfilling lives. Some people just work and have one or two friends and they're living their best lives. The idea that just because Scully doesn't have an active dating life and a circle of friends she regularly talks to means that her life is dour is so flawed.
Scully's eventual dissatisfaction with her life was rooted in her believing she should want things that she didn't want. Scully could've walked away. She could've said enough, instead she kept finding reasons to stay because she wanted to be on the x files. And it's quite clear that you can't work on the x files and have a normal life. She didn't want both, she wanted the life that she chose.
At that time, Scully was unable to articulate just how much she wanted to be with Mulder, which is why she positions, "Don't you want to get out of the car?"
She wanted moments of normalcy with him.
And it isn't just because Mulder gets that life because he lives it, its because Scully is actually in love with Mulder for who he is. She's seen Mulder at his best and at his worst and loves every part of him.
Whatever feelings Scully had for Mulder in the past that she pushed away, she couldn't do it anymore. She loved Mulder in a way she couldn't put into words. It was the truest feeling she ever felt, the most sincere thing and she hadn't realized it yet. Then, when she does, it takes them time to get there because Mulder is literally the most important person in her life.
Which seeds were planted back in season 2. In "Little Green Men" (I think), the thought of not working with Mulder saddened Scully because it meant she wouldn't get to see and talk to him. Mulder made a huge impression on her and became important to her very quickly.
So imagine 5-7 years down the road...embracing this feeling and the thought of losing Mulder if things went south would've been devastating for Scully. She wouldn't lose just a partner, she'd lose a best friend too.
Because she genuinely cared for him and he's her literal best friend.
The love Scully feels for Mulder surpasses known definitions of romantic love because her feelings aren't centered in that. She loves him on levels that most people can't imagine. Scully cares for Mulder so much and she shows that by listening to him and protecting him even if Mulder doesn't think he needs protection. She validates him and doesn't trivialize his beliefs even when she doesn't agree with them. It doesn't matter who the person is, Scully will always go to bat for Mulder because he only ever had himself and he needs to someone to say "hey, you're not alone and you're taken seriously."
I bring this up to say, the idea that Mulder doesn't deserve Scully when Scully clearly wants him is flawed. The idea that Mulder should be lucky that Scully "puts up" with him is flawed. The idea that Scully would ever tell Mulder as such or anything resembling (and stressing how she could've been happy with this perfect other man) is flawed. Those first two things are categorically wrong and the last is something Scully would never do because she loves Mulder and that is harmful. Scully would never tell Mulder something that would harm him or that she believed could.
All Things is so pivotal because Scully stops concerning herself with what she believe she should want and embracing what she actually wants: investigating x files and living an unconventional life with Mulder.
Scully wants that.
Not dating around, girls night, or frequent intimate get togethers with her family. She wants to investigate haunted houses on Christmas Eve and discover invisible bodies and help victims find justice.
After her and Mulder get together, she's committed to him. She waited so long to be with him that even while he was in hiding, she never considered dating anyone else. Emotionally and spiritually, she'd been married to him. Now that they'd been together, she didn't want anyone else but him.
Like there's so many layers to this, which hasn't even taken the "like a switch" speech. Or her reaction to Diana, which had multiple levels--romantic, platonic, and professional.
Lastly, the idea that Scully was waiting around for Mulder (to ask her out) is such a basic take. Scully wasn't waiting on Mulder, she prioritized their working relationship over romance AND she knew Mulder had his own stuff going on with himself. Even if she had wanted to date then, she didn't fault Mulder for not asking her out. All the shit he'd been through and was going through, Scully was more concerned about his emotional well-being opposed to upset that he hadn't pursued her.
Although I do get the criticism and the desire for Scully to date, have on screen friends, and shit, it just doesn't track with what we've seen and know of Scully.
Like, this woman almost went on the run with Mulder after knowing him for 2-3 years. They only reason they didn't was because she wanted to see her sister who'd been shot. The reason she almost went on the run was due to moral and ethical reasons and not romance, however, my point is that Scully's convictions and priorities is why her life was the way it was and that's the way she wanted it to be. She then went on the run with him when she didn't have to, but we know she would because 1. his sentence was an injustice (we know how Scully feels about justice) 2. she was madly in love with him and refused to continue living her life without him.
Once again, Scully is discarding any notion of normalcy because she didn't want it and hadn't wanted it since getting assigned to the x files.
And that's on that.
(And it's why I object to the characterization of their relationship in IWTB and seasons 10 and 11. Although it's fine and makes sense for their relationship to have issues at times, the writers handled it so cavalierly and without thought. You cannot have the backbone of the show in a romantic falling out and not address it--not really. They don't try to genuinely deal with such a situation because it's melodrama, but my question is: why introduce it in the first place. If it isn't worth being addressed, it's not worth being introduced. Mulder and Scully had a chat or two, but it was so superficial and lacked teeth. It's not that I wanted the show to focus on them romantically, I just want the show to not bullshit or half ass shit they're introducing and bringing up is all.)
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(sees another fandom that I can ask you about and cheers) Orphan Black! Thoughts? I don't know Dr Who but Tatiana is one of my favorite actors period.
Anon you are so sweet! I'm always happy to chat about fandoms and characters and whatnot, and I will never not appreciate the majesty of Tatiana's acting. That is one of the greatest parts of the show hands down.
Orphan Black, to me, is a show that had incredible potential, but didn't really live up to the excitement it created. (Loooong post ahead.)
The thing is, Orphan Black builds a chilling mystery and background, the world it gradually creates as it goes for about the first two seasons, got be very invested and made me wonder a lot about where it was going to go and what the answers were. The setup is brilliant, right from the start with that iconic cold open of Beth's suicide. The unknown is what really helped this show get as thrilling as it was, because the actual answers behind the unknown were kind of hit and miss, and it seemed like far too often, the show just wasn't interested in telling it's story. Hijinks where the clones impersonate each other in slice of life events? That's fun at first and it really works well as they're still getting to know each other. But after a while, it gets tedious, and it seems like the show would rather fuck around and have dance parties (seriously, that scene was such a #BigLippedAlligatorMoment) than focus on the story and the threat that the sisters are facing. Virtually all of Allison's plotlines are like this, they feel like they belong in a different show, and for some reason the writers insisted on giving her one of these storylines like, every season. After Allison passively murders her own friend out of suspecting that she's spying on her, I just don't feel like an arc about her running for some PTA office position even matters. It doesn't feel right.
Speaking of that, here's another example: Donnie. Why did the end of the first season suggest that he was this secret mastermind working for Leekie? The whole idea just deflates in Season 2 and doesn't really go anywhere. He just goes back to being the bumbling sweetheart he was before. Why even have him be the spy? Maybe it should have been Ainsley. Do you want to know the exact moment that I think Orphan Black went wrong? Like, the specific scene? When Leekie was killed off. The character who had thus far been the Big Bad, gets taken out in the stupidest possible way, a literal accident on Donnie's part, and it's even played for laughs. After that point, the show really struggled to regain it's footing, though I don't think it completely went off the rails until about Season 4, and it was still generally hit or miss. Like, some stuff was really good. The introduction of the Castor clones, the development of Rachel's character (I'll get to her, trust me.) and the reveal of Kendall Malone. But it seemed like so much else was just forgotten or otherwise not resolved. Whatever happened to Cal? Sure, the show wanted to focus on the sisters...but Kira deserves to know her father if she wants to. That's just one example. It's a crying shame because this show is sometimes incredible. The metaphor that I always use for situations like this, is a card game. The show has all the right cards in its hand, they're just not being played.
The two strongest characters, at least to me, were Rachel and Helena. One of these characters was superbly written and went through a devastating arc. The other was Helena. We need to talk about her. In Season 1, she really cemented herself as a memorable presence with her trademark accent, her scars, her whole damn personality (again, hats off to Tatiana) and of course, that iconic screechy theme music that accompanied her. Which at first made us jump, but eventually made us cheer. I adored Helena, and I loved the development of her relationship with Sarah. Who went from shooting her in Season 1, to being deadset on rescuring her in Season 3, being furious with Siobhan for betraying her. (This is unrelated but Siobhan has the same " twist villain fakeout" at the end of Season 1 that Donnie does, and it's quite frustrating.) And yet, I swear, the writers just didn't know what to do with Helena half the time. They put her on a bus for long stretches, including one point where she just up and leaves Allison's house in Season 4, for no given reason. And the characters just kind of...don't care. The same thing happens when she gets arrested. No one cares to try and find Helena, even though she's unstable and often a danger to those around her. Even though she's by herself with no real ability to function in society. Even though she's pregnant. There is no excuse for this, and no Sarah, that "I'm sorry, I avoided you" scene in Season 5 is not going to cut it. It's such an afterthought.
I'm being rather critical, but I hope you can tell that this is from a point of passion. I genuinely enjoyed this show and getting to watch it. Just that sometimes it didn't feel like the show cared that I was watching. However, this was not true whenever Rachel was onscreen. Look, I'm a Merula Snyde stan, so you can probably already guess how I feel about Rachel. Despite her crimes, despite her constant slipping back the dark side, I felt so bad for Rachel at the end of it all. That scene with Kira really sums it up. "Who hurt you?" "All of them." And no scene is more intense than when she stabs out the eye cam. Like, I'm sorry, I pitied Rachel pretty much from Season 2 on. Her parents were horrible to her, and I'm supposed to think Ethan is the good guy here? He kills himself in front of his own daughter, telling her that she doesn't deserve him. And then Sarah shoots a pencil through her eye, causing brain damage and requiring a long recovery. I'm not saying that Sarah was wrong to do what she did, just that if I were in her shoes, I'd still feel a degree of guilt for Rachel's condition. In the end, I'm devastated that she was barred from Clone Club, when she made the right decision at the point it mattered. But there's just too much history there, and Sarah won't ever forgive her. (Though again, I do feel as though there's blame to share.) Rachel is my favorite character and I never expected her to be. But she's just so complex. Side note: "Enjoy your oophorectomy" is so damn quotable. I don't know why but I love that line.
So, Rachel's my favorite. Who's my least favorite? It might surprise you. It's Delphine. I'm sorry, but I just...I couldn't get on board with C*phine. Not after Season 3. I was waiting for the point that the show would push to finally redeem Delphine for her turncoat role, for all of the hell that she put Cosima through. By Season 5 though? I realized that as far as the writers were concerned? She already was redeemed. Even though she did nothing to earn it, except be presumed dead by Cosima. The way she treats Cosima in Season 3 is actually disgusting. Her reasoning for breaking up with Cosima is circular. She has to love "all the clones" in order to be with Cosima, and the way to do that is to take over Rachel's job, which means they can't date anymore? I'm not the only one who thought that didn't make sense, right? Oh and let's talk about how she stalks Cosima's date, breaks into her house, and threatens her life. Red. Flags. Cosima even says the line, "If you're not going to be with me, just let me go." I'm sorry, that should not be something she has to beg for. Delphine's behavior made me want her to stay far, far away from Cosima. Who is, incidentally, a sweetie and I absolutely adore her. I legit have trouble remembering that Tatiana's playing her because she just looks and acts so different. That said, even though I immensely disliked Delphine, I am so very glad that they made one of the clones gay. Just like I'm glad that they made one of them trans. (Though...Tony wasn't handled especially well.)
In general, I do think the earlier seasons were stronger. The Brightborn arc, while interesting, didn't really contribute much to the overarching narrative. We got the backstory on Beth's suicide and finally learned the truth about her, I suppose. Still, even though Beth is one of my favorite of the clones, and I never expected her to be either...I feel like the actual reason given for why she took her own life was rather illogical. She apparently did it because the investigation was putting the clones in danger of another Helsinki. Okay, but just because Evie Cho says you should off yourself, doesn't mean you have to. You could just, like...stop investigating. And if you die under mysterious circumstances without explaining anything to the sisters, they're not going to be put off from the investigation. They're going to look into this even more, because they don't know why they're not supposed to. The reveal that she and Art fell in love toward the end adds an extra gut punch, but it also doesn't make sense because wouldn't Art have referenced it during the period that he thought Sarah was Beth? On the other hand, Season 4 also introduced MK. And I have such a soft spot for her. I adore that sheep-masked sweetie. Everyone always asks "Which clone would you date" (because fandoms can think of nothing else I guess) and I never see anyone give any love to MK. Her death absolutely tore me apart. I am glad Siobhan avenged her even if she went down at the same time. Side note, her last word being the affectionate "Chickens..." Broke me.
Season 5 was a strange beast. In general, it seemed like we were finally getting some answers to the questions that were hanging over us. Exploring the deep mythos. But then they kind of turned it around and made it just be a Wizard of Oz style fraud twist. Westmoreland isn't really inhumanly old, he's a charlatan. I don't know why that was necessary in a science fictional show. I've seen the interviews and I get what they were going for, it just feels like it would have been cooler and far creepier if he was actually that old. The puppet master pulling the strings the whole time. We also finally get some answers for Kira's superhuman healing abilities (though we never learn how she's telepathically connected to the clones) and I'm loving it, but the trouble is, it's inconsistent. Ethan "Why is this guy so popular, he's an asshole" Duncan told Rachel specifically that Sarah being able to have children was a fluke, that the clones were "barren by design." I don't know, the whole concept of Revival and of the "magical island" was really foreboding and tied in with the earlier references to The Island of Doctor Moreau. Especially that song about "Revival's Children" just...the shudders, man. But just having it be a regular old scam is...a letdown. I know it may be more realistic, but I don't always need realism in my scifi. The finale is interesting, in that it's mostly an epilogue. I'm glad the clones (sans Rachel) got to live happily ever after, but there are two gut punches right at the end that are total nitpicks but they bother me. Helena naming her kids after Art and Donnie? And writing a memoir that she names "Orphan Black?" Those two tropes can go die in a hole. They can enjoy an oophorectomy, because I'm so sick of them.
The potential of Orphan Black was practically infinite. The results of Orphan Black fell frustratingly short.
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