#rip to me im not fixing it though
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Listen I know Donnie is a science boy but he is also Dramatic he is a Theater boy and Internet inherited aaaaaaaaallllllllll of that dramatic energy
She wants to be an actress when she grows up and yes Splinter is absolutely delighted
#my art#tmnt#tmnt oc#tmnt fankid#rottmnt oc#rottmnt fankid#internet archive#shes such a baby#i love her#shes so enamoured with lou jitsu#she also does not believe that lou jitsu is her grandpa#like her grandpa is a rat and lou jitsu is a human man like the dots are not connecting#nooooooooooo i just saw a tangent in lou jitsu nooooooooo#rip to me im not fixing it though
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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WHAT DO YOUE MEAN YOURE ALSO HYPERFIXATED ON BOTH ANNIE AND PIZZA TOWER SMILES REALLY BIG AT YOU
i literally ran an annie askblog for two straight years 😭
it's been awhile by now but to this Day whenever i reblog one of those 'what character do you associate with me' posts i still get like 3 people saying annie each time. never beating the allegations!!!!!! but i dont mind because i was funny as fuck on that blog and it was, up until pizza tower came along, by far some of my best stuff and the most 'involved' i'd ever gotten in 'fandom'. basically everything i'm using now in pizza comics i learned and honed for annieblog, haha.
my Stuff from that era is still very much around and evident too lol
#rip to the sword handle i broke it at a con a few years ago and never bothered fixing it 😔✊#also this was all before she got added to the game and u better BELIEVE i hopped on the shirt day 1. good lird#i have a few gripes with some of the new era sg lore and story direction but if nothing else. they did do well by annie#anyway. 'the grumpy old guy and their silly/weird/largely nonverbal support beast companion' u say. guess where that came from#i won't pretend for a second there's not a lot of annie & sagan in how i do peppino and fake pep. it's just a dynamic i like a lot#sadly peppino does Not have a beowulf-type parallel to round it out. maybe if gus was like 5x as loud. its fine i have noisette instead#but yeah if u were in the skullgirlls tag at All from like 2017-2019 u saw me#less from actual popularity/quality and more just because i posted a fucking lot shjvjhvfjfgg i was a Menace#some of them were good though. im gonna reblog some now actually hang on
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Sorry for the Elden Ring spam this game has just consumed my entire being
#i also can't sleep and apparently my brain thinks scrolling through the er tag is gonna fix that#i am just soooooo obsessed with the game. the lore. the characters. the gameplay. everything#its so annoying too cause like i was making good progress in my other games like dmc5 insomniac spiderman sa2 p5r#<- apologies if this shows up in those tags lol#but nope! every time i think im getting somewhere with them er just pops into my head like hey you wanna play me so bad 😏#the game of all time i need the dlc to come out soon#OH and rip my totk playthrough i havent touched the game since june think i still have botw fatigue tbh#i will get back to it and beat it some day#but for now im just mentally ill over this game 😭#particularly two red headed sword ladies (related they are) and my tarnished oc#“oh cool prince do you have a new elden ring oc thats aweso-” its riku 🚶#always that fucker 🚶#BUT i am thinking of making an actual original er oc#we'll see#but yeah sorry again lol well aware that most of my mutuals prob have no clue wtf im talking about 😭#it will happen again though won't lie this game has me in a god damn chokehold
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rip prime metal we hardly knew ye
#sonic prime spoilers#i think metal should just be more obnoxious in general actually lkasjdkljas#also seeing metals design more clearly it kinda feels like i ripped him off even though i stay away from trailers of things im excited for#rip me i guess#just remembered hes chaos sonic but im too lazy to fix it now rip alkjskjadh#just binged the whole thing and im already forgetting it :|#netflix pls just do it one episode a week for the 3rd season i fuckin hate binging lkajljhkjh#blurry babbles
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SPOILERS FOR THE GLORY IN THE TAGS
#spoilers#the glory spoilers#idek if enough people know about this show to warrant the spoiler tags but oh well#god. GOD THE FUCKING METAPHORS#DONG EUN TELLING YEO JEONG ABT HER PAST AND HIM SAYING ''ill do it. who should i kill first?''#AND THEN HE GOES TO FIX HER BUTTON AND HE RIPS IT OFF OF HIS OWN SLEEVE LIKE ITS NOTHING#GODD THE METAPHORS#I will destroy myself to sew you back together I will be a vessel for your vengeance I will ruin myself so you might start over again#im literally typing these SECONDS after he ripped that button off so maybe he isn't actually that into it#but god GODDDDD I HOPE HE BECOMES CRAZY#he wants her approval so badly he would kill for her. and he will. gladly. happily#GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKED UP#also dong eun seducing do yeong by being absolutely kick ass at go is so so funny to me#having evil intentions and a rich old man so helplessly wrapped around her finger is so so hot of her#anyways. everyone in this show is fucked up and i will be disappointed if the ending isn't as bloody as im expecting#GODDDDDDD THE METAPHORS THOUGH I. AHXGJSKANSHS#also the way dong eun can only stare while she's being treated nicely. girl i hope you have a happy ending#also btw i haven't finished the show yet so idk if do yeong is like an asshole or not#but if he wants to remarry i am available and very interested#sir i may have zero dollars to my name and be fat and ugly and have no redeeming qualities#but you have a lot of money to give and i would love to receive it xoxo#JAGSHJZJAKAJAJ#edit: ''ill happily be your executioner'' I NEED A PIECE OF LEATHER TO BITE DOWN ON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I think if you opened me up you would find
Minecraft furnace (64 stack of coal inside)
#and by that I mean im always hot. usually uncomfortably so#I need it to be a constant 60 degrees that would fix me#lives in a place where it is constantly 85-95 with humidity#thought the weather this year has NOT been normal at all#it’s been cooler than usual#very odd.. though i think it will heat up after this weekend#rip to all the people at the ultra music fest shit. you’re getting rained on and it’s ‘cold’#not actually cold but not what people expect when they come here lol
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paranoia hell is knowing that you have loved ones who talk to your other loved ones about things you have done or said that hurt them and you Dont Know . You Dont Know
#this is why i cant fucking stand to talk about people behind their backs if i know both people i feel so ill#i cant handle it dog#my mind cannot physically comprehend someone caring about me AND being hurt about something i have said or done#like why would you stay after that? after i have done something that hurts your feelings? i think you should shoot me#''they stay bc they love you'' Oh so i Did do something and i Cant fix it and im gonna throw up#guardian angel trying to rip my phone away from me before i bombard my best friend with 5 million messages interrogating him asking if ive#rver said something that has hurt him or done something mean to him just for him to tell me know#I CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW YOU FOR THAT LONG WITHOUT ACCIDENTALLY HURTING YOUR FEELINGS????? HAVENT I DONE SOMETHING. DONT YOU WANT TO TAKE ME#OUT BACK AND SHOOT ME??????????#paranoia hell#''people that love you will forgive you'' WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. U DESERVE BETTER#im literally always rolling on the ground asking for people to tell me if i have done something pleaseeee dog tell me if i ever have done#something no matter how long ago or what it was im sorry im so sorry#i say this as if i dont then feel like a kicked dog w prion disease bc of rejection dysphoria once i am told one (1) thing. Still i#literally deserve that though please tell me!!!!!!!!!!#no not know* me when grammat
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ohhhhh i fucking hate rayon. i fucking hate rayon. This fucking synthetic fabric, out of all of them, has to be one of the worst. Fuck this shit fuck this shit this shirt was soo cool and now it may be permanently ruined/ impossible for me to care for because it's 100% rayon. It's such a cool shirt too but ohhhh my fucking god!!!
THis shit wrinkles if you look at it wrong! It shrinks if you look at it wrong! It gets random mysterious stains that don't fucking come out if you put it in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles... even on fucking delicate wash! It can't be taken to the dry cleaners! It hates being machine washed but wrinkles if yoou hand wash! and be careful about ironing because ohhhhh boy if it's even one degree too hot good bye shirt!! it'll be fucking melted and warped! fuck this shit!
Anyway, Box Lunch clothing is priced like it's good quality but it's absolutely shit. i recommend buying elsewhere for your favorite IPs. This is just so disappointing. My parents got me this cool ass shirt but it's box Lunch so i know they probably paid around $50 for this thing that has quality worse than things I got at walmart.
#rant#long post#raiii rants#i know im being childish just let me be for a second#im mostly mad on my parents' behalf because this is such a cool sonic shirt but i feel like they got ripped off :'(#hopefully i can fix this somehow#makes me realize how good silk shirts are though. like that shit de-wrinkles itself if you just hang it up#plastic clothes ruined the world. like i get this is cheaper. if this shirt was $20 i would be less mad. but it wasn't.#i have a few options i'm going to try to at least undo the stains hopefully... it just sucks because it came from the dryer
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....
#i have a car now!!!#just have to get it registered...get the plates....get the wheels rotated....get the oxygen sensor fixed...etc#but I have a car 🥴#shes such a cutie ill overlook the fact that shes bright red but its ok.....#gonna pick it up tmrw bc only one friend was able to go w me & since i can barely drive as is i needed someone else to drive it back to my#apt rip in pieces.....#i was gonna drive it back but i panicked & forgot which one was the brake so my friend was like nope...we'll come back for it 😭#she did say shes open to giving me lessons to help me out though im so grateful....#dl
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there's a unique form of pain when your fifteen year old drawing tablet gets outmoded. rip buddy, you've lasted me for a long time and I'll never forget you 💙
#before anyone supplies any fixes they think of#ive tried a ton#the driver for this tablet Does Not Exist online anymore#and the disc that came with it is destroyed#rip king#youve lasted me since fifth grade#im 24 now#im not throwing it away though#drawing tablet#digital art supplies
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the way i NEED a full schedule at all times or i will fall back into Nocturnal Depressive Hedgehog vibes .. evillll sick and twisted
#raven talks#i have SO much i could be doing but im SO aimless .. i need order i need function i need to be the smartest person in the circle !! healthy#actually scratch that i dont care abt comparative success its abt PERSONAL success im literally thirsting for Experience and Learning💔#but also. i dont have the will i need to fit the puzzle pieces back together rip ........ scheduled education would fix me though i know it
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been off my pc for almost 2-3 weeks straight. that’s... wild
#for context i have had a fun time trying to manage life a continent away from the rest of my family#we've had a lot of issues back in bd (surprise surprise) and my sis and mother had to go there to fix stuff#my father was already there so i was here in ita completely alone through my hospital internship my health pummeling into hell and#us almost getting kicked out of our home for stuff that's way above our level of authority#meaning i had to kinda go on a merry go around to try to stay afloat lmao#and this had to happen all meanwhile the rest of my family was back in bd with their own brand of dangerous bs rip#still somehow we're still alive and almost well even though i think i might've have not been as kind as one should to my body#ranging from forgetting to eat cuz i was busy for entire days to not sleeping at all for n days straight#which i hope doesn't have future lasting effects on me lol im fine everything's fine ahah
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What its like kissing the creepypasta characters
excluding the characters that im not comfy writing romantic for, for obvious reasons
similar to the hugging post this is more so a rating thing instead of actual scenarios! honestly in love with these kinds of posts so im formally asking you guys to give me ideas in this vein because i love making hcs in this format/for general stuff eheheheh
SLENDERMAN:
if youve been on this blog for a while, you would know that i love when characters who dont have mouths/have nontraditional mouths nuzzle and press their face into yours. and i still love the idea, especially with slenderman ! the first time he 'kisses' you its probably the first time hes kissed ANYONE so the movement itself is probably a little... clunky... doesnt press too hard, actually i think he would struggle with the opposite. theyre gentle and fleeting, almost as if his inhuman strength and size would crush you if he let himself truly lean into it. i mean think about it, he hardly ever interacts with humans and when he does its for 'food', he has always only seen them as vulnerable and fragile. and whether malicious or not, he treats you as if youre made of glass. likes kissing the back of your hands too. 7/10, he gets bonus points since hes my fav + its the thought that counts
SPLENDORMAN:
very eager about showing you any level of affection, probably early in the relationship that he gets bold enough to kiss you. first kiss is probably more of a "in the moment" thing than "i planned this out and im going to ask" thing if that makes sense... similar to slenderman in regards that he presses his mouth to you, as i personally headcannon that his smile isnt exactly.. a real mouth, more so a false one. think like a layer of 'skin' covering his real one that he can rip out at any moment (same case for slenderman btw. same also apply to splendors eyes, more so markings than actual eyes). going back to his energy, hes very eager about it, might even lightly push you back with how much hes putting into it; he doesnt mean to, hes just so excited! likes cheek kisses and nuzzling your noses together 8/10
EYELESS JACK:
very wary about kissing you outside of those little pecks, for multiple factors. for one, his teeth. sharp teeth, he can accidentally cut you. other reason thats much darker, given that admin personally hcs that he goes into "frenzies" when hes hungry and reacts to blood like the sharks in finding nemo, if he accidentally cuts you when hes not.. well fed.. for lack of a better term... theres a risk there. REFUSES to kiss when he needs to go 'hunt' soon, not because he doesnt want you or your affection, but he doesnt want to take any risks. outside of that, he doesnt often seek out affection, so youre probably going to have to initiate it, unless hes feeling particularly clingy that day or jealous... hes very cold, please cup your hands on his face and warm him up. likes kissing your lips 6/10
LAUGHING JACK:
has to lean in at an angle in order to not poke you with his nose. has probably accidentally lightly scratched you with it when he got too excited. likes giving you forehead kisses for this reason because you can just angle your head down and he can go to town like that... sometimes leave lipstick marks on you.. if you personally hc that he can take off his makeup then please offer to fix it! hes going to be absolutely over the moon! likes wrapping his arms around you when he kisses you. does lots of kisses in quick succession rather than singular longer ones. probably wakes you up with kisses and greets you with kisses when you come home 8/10 i love him
MASKY/TIM:
nope, sorry. for masky hes not going to be taking off the mask around you at all. so if you want a kiss youre going to have to kiss the mask. though on rare occasions when youre alseep/half awake he will lift up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth and give you a kiss on your face. no particular place that he prefers to kiss you. though as said, its rare when he does this. in fact its not common for masky to seek out affection unless he feels more possessive of you than usual, be it because hes jealous or you are stress or you were just in a dangerous situation. 5/10, not much action but there is still care behind it
now as for tim... i think he would be more willing to give you kisses. probably gives you a quick one before you leave for work or something else, and greets you with one when you return home. thats a sweet thought, i think. more likely to give kisses during cuddle session, tends to kiss your cheek and neck (non sexually) while hes holding you to his chest. ponders. will give you a look if you mess with his sideburns and start giggling 6.5/10 love this man
HOODIE/BRIAN:
hoodie is a little more willing to lift up his mask around you, but only really up to the bottom of his nose. also has no preferred place to kiss you, but he seems to kiss your lips more than the other parts of you. sometimes his facial hair scratches against your skin and tickles. between him and brian i think hoodie is a little more blunt and serious about kissing. not to say hes not a little playful, love me some vaguely playful s/o hoodie hcs. probably picks you up off the ground too to 'trap' you, especially if youre fairly shorter than him (personally hc brian/hoodie is 6'') 7/10 love him
very similar to hoodie but i think he would be even more playful when it comes to you. leans into it when his facial hair starts tickling you, in fact i think it would devolve into him just tickling your sides. funny man. put him in the corner/j. like lj, he likes wrapping his arms around you when kissing you, this man is very into physical touch. will touch you any chance he gets; hand holding, cuddling, hugs, ect ect ect... sometimes starts smiling when you guys kiss so you have to give him a minute because he just has this huge grin on his face 8/10
PUPPETEER:
so you know how i said in the hugging post hes kind of a little shit? you know, literally basking in the fact that youre giving your time and self to him? i think that still applies here, maybe even more so since this is explicitly romantic. likes teasing you if you get flustered during your make out sessions, sometimes bombards you with kisses just to see your face redden... has probably leaned down and tapped his cheek as a silent yet teasing gesture, as if taunting you, letting you be the one to kiss him this once. also very cold, like physically. what being a spirit does to a mf. VERY tall, can easily evade any retaliation you throw his way (ie returning the favor of bombarding him with kisses), though im not sure how long he'd be able to resist.. 6/10
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#slenderman x reader#slenderman x you#splendorman x reader#splendorman x you#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#laughing jack x reader#laughing jack x you#masky x reader#masky x you#hoodie x reader#hoodie x you#puppeteer x reader#puppeteer x you
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could i request cockwarming w jonathan crane? like maybe he's had a stressful day and you fuck it out of him, but when you're about to pull off he grabs you and just... asks you to stay right there, with him inside of you... 😞 i'm so down bad for him it's not even funny...
Stress Relief �� Jonathan Crane × Female!Reader
anon, i get it. trust me, im down bad for him too. i was like 4 or 5 when i saw the first movie (Batman Begins) even though i was 3 when it came out and i could say he was one of my first celebrity crushes. im 21 now & Cillian Murphy is still a celebrity crush, so...yeah...little me had taste lol
y'all, why did i roleplay with one of his bots and they gonna say he had blonde hair- as far as i know, he was never blonde in general (comics, games, animated series/tv shows and/or movies) i was so disappointed.
Warnings: smut, dirty talk, praise, unprotected p in v, cockwarming, there's like no plot at all, i listened to a lot of spicy songs while writing this...IN BOTH ENGLISH & SPANISH
You saw it on his face when he walked into the house; your boyfriend was stressed. You've been together for almost 2 years, so you lived together and you also knew what relieved his stress.
"Jonathan?" He took off his blazer before looking over at you, taking off his vest. You looked down at his tie before pulling it and bringing him towards you. "You need to relax, baby." You pressed your lips onto his and he quickly reciprocated. His hand rested on your cheek, and you got on top of him, taking off tie and unbuttoning his shirt. You took off his shirt and he quickly rested his hands on your hips.
His hands slid from your hips and under your shirt, before taking it off and kissing your neck. You tilt your head to the side, biting your lip as he nibbled on your neck gently, not wanting to mark you; you both agreed it was better when they couldn't be seen. He unclasped your bra, letting it glide down your arms before kissing and sucking on one before doing the same to the other. You let out a small whimper, him humming in pleasure as he heard your little noise.
Your hands went to his belt, undoing it and his hands fixed your flowy skirt so it covered him. He felt your arousal soaking through your panties, so he knew you more than ready for him. You undid his button and his zipper before he stopped you. "Just take it out, darling. I can't wait anymore." His whisper against your chest made you bite your lip, doing as he said. "Hope these aren't your favorites." Before you could say anything, you heard a rip and let out a breathy laugh. "They weren't. Don't worry." He chuckled, sliding into you without a hassle. After nearly 2 years, you didn't really need to adjust to him as much as you did the first few times.
However, you still loved how he filled you up and pleased you like no one else has.
You wrapped an arm around his shoulder as you bounced on him. "Fuck baby," Jonathan moaned, his hands wrap around your hips as he thrusted into you. "Feels so good inside me, Jon." He bit his lip at your words. "Yeah, darling? You take me so good like the good girl you are." You moan at his words, his lips finding yours as he groans, feeling you clench around him. "Just like that, darling. Let me feel how good praises make you feel." He goes back to kissing you as his fingers go to your clit, playing with it as you continue to bounce on him. He breaks the kiss, tearing his glasses off of his face before meeting your lips once more.
Your fingers tangle into his hair, tugging slightly as he fucks you and plays with your clit. Your eyes widened when he adjusted himself quickly, reaching your sensitive spot, making you let out a moan loud enough for all of Gotham to hear. "Are you gonna come, darling?" You nod as best as you could, knowing your voice would betray you. "Come all over my cock, darling." You pull his hair, pulling him closer to you as you came on his cock. He continued, his thrusts getting sloppy before he came inside you.
As you both tried catching your breaths, he pulled you into a weak kiss. After you felt your heart rate begin to go back to normal, you began to pull yourself off of him, but he gripped your hips, making you stop your movements. "Stay," Jonathan's soft yet raspy voice spoke as your eyes met his blue ones. "You feel so warm, darling, I don't want you to move yet."
"Okay," Jonathan fixed himself, the small shift making you whimper at the movement in your sensitive core. "Sorry darling." You giggle as he pulled you closer to him, rubbing your back slowly as you rest your head on his. "That's okay, Jonny. Are you comfortable?" He chuckled. "You have no idea." His lips met yours in another kiss, making you clench around him. He groaned into the kiss, shaking his head. "Not yet, darling. Let me enjoy your warmth." You nodded, brushing some of his hair out of his face. "Did I relieve your stress?" He nodded. "You always do, but we should really just start doing this. It feels fantastic."
"I'll keep that in mind the next time you come home stressed out."
#jonathan crane#jonathan crane x y/n#jonathan crane x reader#jonathan crane x you#jonathan crane smut#scarecrow#scarecrow x y/n#scarecrow x reader#scarecrow x you#dc universe#asks#ask#anonymous#anon asks#anon ask#anonymous asks#anon
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i neeeed you to hear me out on this one okay.
okay okay so the song is casual by chappell roan and its about like being super intimate w a guy but he still tells his friends you're just a casual fuck.
like some of the lyrics are "i've heard so many rumors that i'm just a girl that you bang on your couch" and "knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out, is it casual now?"
so like. eddie munson. angst. and reader whos fed up with him being so cocky to his friends ab how he gets her off while he brushes her off.
PLEASE hear me out 🫣
IM HEARING YOU ALL THE WAY OUT 😩😩🗣️
(as someone who dated a literal INCEL in high school who was charismatic to all and manipulative to none but me this fucking triggered me. i see you boo)
CW: misogynist behavior, adult themes, 18+ minors DNI
eddie sweetie, this isn't you :( but without further a due...
"If you have to go around telling people that you're a good person, you probably aren’t a good person."
incel!asshole!modern!eddie x fem!innocent!reader
WC: 1.3k words | part two here
Ever since you became exclusive with the ‘Town Freak’, your friends have constantly been ripping your ass a new one.
They were all so wrong about Eddie Munson. Because beneath the rugged, edgy persona he likes to put on every day (spewing his ‘Abolish-The-Status-Quo’ Manifesto atop an unsteady table in the cafeteria) lies a woman-worshipping gentleman, a soft, romantic, misunderstood love-sick puppy who would do just about anything to know you like the back of his hand.
Your dream boy.
"No one ever wants to date the nice guy," Eddie would say to you, alluding to himself. You’d constantly deny his claim. “But the jocks? The rabbits in band? The chess club dweebs? Oh yeah, without a doubt. Anyone but the freak."
It all made you think Eddie was created perfectly for you. That there was some sort of invisible string in the halls of Hawkins High, waiting for just the right moment to pull you two together. And when you two kissed that one day after detention, his hands snaked gently around your waist behind the rusty, faded bleachers out by the stadium, it felt like a match made in heaven.
“You gonna be my girl?” Eddie grinned into you, stroking your cheek, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Mine and mine only?”
“Yours,” you whispered breathlessly to him before reeling him in for another blissful peck.
And soon, lonely afternoons in study hall turned into D&D campaigns with him and his friends. Mundane weekend errands turned into fishing trips with him and Wayne. And soon quiet, anxious car rides became karaoke and head-banging sessions. Once aimless and confused, lost in the melody of life, suddenly all the love songs were about Eddie. You finally found the one.
It all leads you to believe your friends were just jealous of you. True friends would be over the moon.
This afternoon you had a surprise for Eddie. Just last week, you lost your virginity to him and were still swooning over how caring and tender he was with you. Surely, that is the bare minimum for a guy, but the bare minimum is so hard to come by nowadays. Cookies for Discord night with his friends was the least you can do to show how much you appreciate your boyfriend.
After extracurriculars, you rush home to get the oven going, throwing down in the kitchen to make the best snickerdoodles Eddie will ever have. And after one last look in the mirror, fixing your flirty skirt and your plump glossy lips, you set off to Forrest Hills Trailer Park.
Eddie has his headset on so he doesn’t hear your multiple knocks at the door. You knew he would be home though, dude’s got nowhere else to be on a Friday night. Eventually, you decide to hobble out back, looking through one of the windows by the kitchen that he always cracked open just so he doesn’t hotbox the place.
“I’m right behind you, right behind you!” Eddie warns his friends as he nears them in the game. “Gonna need some backup from Gareth the Great.”
Since he’s focused on his electronics, you decide to shoot him a text message. Hopefully then he’ll come to the door.
Hi baby 💕 I brought you some homemade snickerdoodles :)
You can’t help but smile when you hear your custom text-tone go off. But, to your surprise, you watch as Eddie turns a blind eye, chucking his phone onto the nearby couch instead of answering your text.
What the fuck?
"Ugh. She's texting me again," your boyfriend grumbles to the boys as he proceeds with the game. "She's kinda annoying, to be honest. Gonna wait a while before I respond.”
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. Pressing your ear against the mesh blinds that separated you two from each other, you decide to listen in for a while longer.
“Don’t you think you’re stringing her along, Eds?”
Yeah, don’t you think? you think to yourself.
“Yeah, but… free pink,” Eddie sneers with a tsk and shrug. “However I want, whenever I want. She just makes it so easy.”
Eddie then starts to spill the details of taking your virginity, about how you were “chimping out” underneath him on his couch while Wayne was sleeping. What was a sacred ordeal to you was made to sound like a cheap, subpar experience to Eddie. His commentary sends the boys into a spiral, fits of hooting and hollering like it was the best stand-up bit they’ve heard in a long time. Resentment simmers within you. This can’t be the same boy.
“How’d you get a pretty girl like that anyway?” comes another voice in the call.
“Pretty fucking easy,” Eddie scoffs. “You just tell her exactly what she wants to hear. Just say what she says right back to her and the panties come right off. She’ll think you’re soulmates.”
The room erupts with virtual laughter, followed by obnoxious sound effects that the app enables users to send to one another. Your stomach begins to twist, the forbidden cookie dough you ingested just an hour prior threatening to make its way back up.
“HAHAHA,” someone in the chat cackles. “Eds will do anything for that roast beef.”
“I’ve always been keen on them deli meats. Am I right, boys?”
The snickering commences again. Eddie thanks the Discord guys as they extol him in compliments, encouraging him to write a playbook on how to get a proper lay. Eddie ends up shutting down the idea. But not because he thinks it’s fucked. No. It’s because he claims he doesn’t “have to try” and that you just “put out” at the drop of a hat.
The tray of Eddie’s undeserved cookies shakes in your hands as your body begins to tremble. You’re going to be sick. And just when you think it can’t get anymore twisted, it does.
“Hey, what do you think about that girl from math class with the fat ass?”
“Harmony?”
“Yeah.”
“God if she’s into me too I’d dump my girl in a heartbeat,” Eddie swoons.
Of course he’d gawk over Harmony. Outside of Tammy Thompson and Chrissy Cunningham, Harmony Heathers was next up to bat for the Queen of Hawkins High.
“She’s got fucking beanbags where her ass should be. I’d do just about anything for her.”
“And her.”
“Yeah and I’d do her.”
"I'd do her too," Eddie admits.
That’s enough.
You’ve heard enough to know that Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson was just like the rest. Throwing the snickerdoodle cookies you made for him into the trash, you sprint back to your car and set off for your house, music blaring the entirety of the commute.
My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around
I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch
You slam the door to your room the moment you get home. And before stripping down and hopping into the safety of a warm shower, you send Eddie one last text.
Actually, you know what? It’s over. Don’t talk to me ever again.
Washing the grossness off of you was the only way you felt you could feel okay.
You wanted the remnants of Eddie OFF of your body. Hysterically sobbing, you attempt scrub off all the dead skin on your body with a loofah. Frustrated tears roll down your face.
I thought you thought of me better, Someone you couldn't lose
You wanted all the dead cells off of you. You wanted a new body. You wanted a new life.
And you couldn’t wait to grow newer, thicker skin. A new shell of you. It will be skin that Eddie can never say he touched.
You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss,
Fuck Eddie Munson.
I have anger issues
You give the weird kid a chance, and then suddenly he acts like you’re the freak.
#eddie munson angst#maddy’s mailbox ✨#EDDIE THIS ISN'T YOU#eddie munson one shot#angsty blurb#eddie munson x reader#maddy’s requests 🍸
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