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unknwnxquantity · 2 months

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There is no one from my past that I want back romantically. I’ve healed past all that and made peace with things thankfully. But there are ppl I miss being friends withhhh 😭 like this one girl. It’s a little messy with her bc she was one of my ex best friend’s hs gf. He introduces her to that friend group and I don’t think she liked me much at the time bc I was super close to that friend (and I was his first kiss Idek if she knows that lmao) anyways yeah we were just mutuals for years. Then ended up unfollowing each other on stuff. Which is fine, no hard feelings we weren’t close lol

Fast fwd to peak covid she hits me up out the blue. Refollows me when my ig was still public and id write my silly deep descriptions, DMs me on ig on some “I know this is random but I’ve been feeling lost lately and I just read some of your IG posts. I aligned with all that you said, my soul is calling to you and I really feel like I need you in my life” and some “it feels like every cell in my body is aligned, my ears are ringing, I really feel like I needed to hit you up. Your energy is pulling me in” And I’m like uhm…. Ms girl? What? lol. Me being who I am, a part of me is like omg she feels called to meeee and sees meeee but another part is like …😀? You are this man’s ex hitting me on some “crazy” shit. It was like a couple paragraphs of saying verbatim what I said and how she was feeling lost in life and clicked on my post and then it all started clicking. I responded back kinda vaguely and then days later she’s like hey I didn’t mean to scare you but I never felt that aligned and something so right in my life and was just so excited. And I’m like okay you got me lol let’s be friends and talk about spirituality. Bc I was also going through like a second awakening during 2020, like another huge spiritual journey. This was a phase of me just talking to new ppl on tiktok, tinder, etc, old friends, etc.

People told me not to trust her. They said don’t do it. But I’m glad I trusted her when I did. We’d talk about the most small but intricate stuff bro. From h0lly w3ird, to the stuff that starts with an A that’s depicted in monsters inc (I was going DOWN all types of dark rabbit hole conspiracies with others too during that time, it’s sad but it’s what’s happening behind the curtains)… all the stuff you can’t talk about on social media basically lol to spirituality. Deep rooted, ancient practices, rituals, astrology, medicine, holistic approaches, etc. or even random shit like how a leaf resembles human veins, and that the whole of one human represents a whole of one tree, and how it plays into a whole ecosystem of things. And how trees and humans are similar to one cell. Theres millions and billions, and yet it can be narrowed down to just one for our brains to try and comprehend the endlessness of the universe. Or like this one time I sent her a pic of the trees while I was in nature at this park I’d go to a lot during covid, that helped me heal a lot and I’d go on walks with my family and that started our little walks and talks, and for the first time ever I was close to my mom, bc of those walks. But anyways I sent her a pic and was like hey I thought of you and I sent a voice memo I think idk. But I remember her being like “I wonder what the birds are saying when they chirp.” And I was like YOOOOOO that really rocked my world. Like what are they talking about amongst each other? What other conversations have they had today? What are their day to day lives like? What is their level of consciousness? Do they realize they do the same shit everyday but that everyday is always a little bit different? A different route to fly, a different bug to eat, a different person they see at that same moment just going about their own consciousness? Do they realize the earth is dying around them? We all cross paths and yet never bat an eye to each other and not realize how fucking cool but random life is. We had a lot of talks like that. It felt like someone really got it. How mysterious and infinite life is. Infinite infinities, infinite everything it hurts my brain to think about. It’s all happening at the same time. Every timeline, every life, every fucking thing. Our death our past lives our future lives are all happening at the same time!! Are you even real? Am I the only consciousness and everyone else is a projection that was randomly set by the simulation? Why am I in this particular simulation? WHO am I really? That’s a scary theory I try not to align with that one. I need to stop my hearts beating fast.

Wait one more. Another random thing that came to mind is why do I feel pain if I bang my hand on the counter? Or a hard surface? What makes a surface hard? Why instead of pain, why don’t I feel happiness or yodel (yodel is never apart of my vocabulary idk why out of all words that was what I thought of)? Who decided that the feeling of pain is the appropriate reaction for when you bang your body part on something? What is pain? Why does emotional pain hurt more than physical? I know why, but who in the simulation made the rules like this???? Why does it rain from up above, but not from the ground up? Why does it rain period? WHO looked at the rain and said “yup let’s call this rain”? My mind always thinks like this sober bro that’s y I can’t smoke bc then I really start to see the world happening all in one moment it’s too much.

Going into my memories thinking about this is making me feel a little weird. Like I should leave her in the past. Which I am! But I’m always like no it’s okay let’s go through these weird feelings i didn’t need to bring up and explore it even if it makes you feel weird for the next couple hours or days. Just to revisit them.. I’m allowed to reflect.

Back to the original plot of the story, I had to cut her out my life tho bc she betrayed my trust. We started to like each other a little but she was in DR with her grandma for the summer. We’d talk almost everyday til she got back and we were suppose to meet up then she stopped responding for a bit. Something was off and she didn’t admit to it at first. Til she randomly tells me like hey.. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I moved in with my ex bf bc my family didn’t wanna take me back in (which is why she went to her grandmas in the first place). I felt so fucking betrayed. I stopped talking to her and she would text me hoping to forgive her and that she really missed me. I already knew she wasn’t the most trustworthy person to begin with, when I learned the tea as to why ex best friend and her broke up. I can’t really go into too many details, it was something she did, but she never told me herself so idk. lol but yeah. Even months after that, I accepted her apology bc it wasn’t really that deep in retrospect. But then I had to cut her off bc she said something while I was in my relationship about having a dream about me and we made out…. And once my gf found out about that bc ofc that’s gonna have to come up. There was other little things too that happened with her where my gf was like no she cannot be in your life if we’re in this relationship bc that’s disrespectful and she’s crossed boundaries. Which I agree. I cut her off out the blue tho, even after we had a convo about us being on good terms. It sucks but sometimes you gotta do what’s right to protect your relationships energy. She even re requested to follow me on IG over a year ago tho and that’s just a bit messy. Messy girl. That right there proves she does not take loyalty in relationships seriously. But is that unfair to say? She’s in one tho with a man traveling living her best life. Hope she’s doing good. Okay edit……. I found out she’s pregnant?? What is life. Congrats tho fr

Idk what the point of this was. I was feeling nostalgic this morning. I’m slowly learning that just bc you miss someone doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Past me would be like BUT BUT WHY, WHY CANT PPL JUST GIVE INTO THEIR EMOTIONS :( But now I’m like I get it. Logically sometimes things are left better untouched. It’s a balance of knowing when and when not to do something even if you really want to. And even if the good intention is there, life’s about reading the room and trusting the universe. Not trying to bring things back to life when it’s better left untouched or at least untouched in this moment. Maybe it’s done for the rest of your life, or maybe just for this period of time in your human experience. It’s like when the media makes more and more sequels of a movie that was better off with just the one movie. Like Toy Story 3 and 4 wasn’t necessary. It was cute. But it tarnishes a little the image of how beautiful Toy Story 1 and 2 were. Or like jersey shore family vacation, like y’all need to dead that already. Again, it’s all about reading the room. You can’t just give into your impulses. That’s a main struggle I have too. So I’m trying to become more disciplined. That’s part of what life’s about (s/o to my Virgo north node🤪🥲).

#unknwnxquantity

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because-of-a-friend · 3 years

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Seventeen as Roommates

Thanks for the request anon! This one was also super fun to do and I hope you really like it! This is the last request and them I’m putting everything aside to finish the Falling Flower series for y’all!

MASTERLIST

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

The most responsible roommate, tbh. He doesn’t want to step on any toes so he’ll make sure there’s great communication between the two of you. He knows all of your pet peeves when it comes to a roommate so he can avoid doing anything that would upset you. Of course you extend the same courtesy since Cheol is such a sweet and great roommate and gives you no reason to want to upset him. Definitely the type of roommate that becomes your friend. He’s just such a loving person and it always overflows into his everyday life. So if he’s living with you, he’s just naturally going to be concerned about how you’re doing and how he can help when you’re struggling. The type who will willingly stay up with you at 3am to make cookies, have a movie marathon, and talk about life just to make you feel better and put a smile on your face. A really good roommate. 12/10.

YOON JEONGHAN

The type of roommate where whenever you’re just minding your own business watching tv in the living room, he’ll come and and just lay across your body and go “[Y/N], buy me fooooooooooooood.” And then whine until you agree to get up and go get food with him lol. Not the best roommate. He gets a little messy and procrastinates on cleaning up. But usually it only takes a couple of times of you scolding him for Jeonghan to finally get up and get things done. But he’s also the type to be your friend. Like quite literally the day you move in, he sits across from you on the couch and starts ranting about his life like you guys had known each other forever. And first you’re a little overwhelmed but then kind of relieved cuz honestly you had needed someone to talk to... and now Jeonghan is right there. He’s just so chill and easily becomes a part of your life, it’s almost like you two have always been living together.

JOSHUA HONG

More of a parent than a roommate, lol. Sometimes you get home from school/work and he’s just in the kitchen cooking and goes “Have you eaten? Never mind you probably didn’t eat enough, fix yourself a plate” And then sometimes it’s “Did you drink enough water today?” or “You have that big presentation tomorrow morning, you need to get to bed early.” Sometimes you find sticky notes with words of encouragement all over the apartment when you have big things coming up. Or if you wake up late, you might find an already packed lunch waiting for you so you can rush out the door without worrying about it yourself. Honestly the sweetest roommate of all time. He just tries to make your living space a happy and safe space for you so you never really feel worried or stressed about anything.

WEN JUNHUI

What a truly chaotic roommate you’ve chosen lol. Sometimes you walk into the kitchen at 3am to grab a drink and find him hunched over random papers only to discover he’s been obsessing over the most obscure conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard for twelve hours straight. Sometimes you come home to find him asleep in your bed. And you’re like???? Jun????? And then he just tells you that he wanted to ask you how your day was as soon as you got home and being in your room when you got back was the best way to assure that he could. Sometimes just appears behind you and tells you his most random wants in that moment. “[Y/N], I really want hot chocolate.” You jump as he suddenly speaks from over your shoulder. “Jun it’s the middle of August.” He sighs sadly, and you very easily give in. “Ugh fine, let’s go.” But seriously, there’s no dull moment living with Jun. He’s a ball of constant fun and adventure.

KWON SOONYOUNG

I hope you’re ready to live with someone whose love language is physical affection. Because no matter what you do: wash the dishes, buy dessert, get him a gift, remember things about his life, say something nice to him, it will be met with an overenthusiastic physical response: a tight hug, sudden cuddles on the couch, a whole Soonyoung just jumping on top of you. That’s just how he shows his appreciation for you when you’re being a good roommate. He knows living with people is difficult sometimes so he’s really grateful for having such a great one and always wants to show you that. Chores are always split evenly and you have a specified chore day because it’s more fun to do it together and it gets done more quickly. You both pull your weight around your living space to make sure you guys have an easy and peaceful living situation.

JEON WONWOO

When you first start living with Wonwoo you begin to question if you made the right decision. He’s just so distant and quiet and you begin to realize that you really don’t know anything about him at all. But it doesn’t take you long to realize that he was just really shy and hesitant. Once he opens up, he is surprisingly clingy and affectionate. Spends the majority of his time in your room lol. Not even to talk, he just likes sitting in there with you. He’s a big baby about chore day so you have to bribe him with his favorite sweets to do the dishes lol. Sometimes you also have to force him to get out the house and get some fresh air when you realize he hasn’t gone out in literal days. But he is a really sweet roommate and there are no issues between the two of you.

LEE JIHOON

Jihoon is a very strict roommate. Will make it very clear what his pet peeves are and what he expects from a roommate. It’s a little off putting at first but when you realize he wants you to be just as honest as him, you understand that he just doesn’t want to leave any room for misunderstandings or for either of you to be upsetting the other. It also takes awhile for him to be friendly towards you. He views having a roommate as more of “I’ll live with someone else so I don’t have to pay as much for a place” rather than “Oh, a chance for a new friend!” But he will eventually open up. He’s also one you feel more like a mother to, because he’s so busy working and you have to make sure he eats enough and sleeps enough. But you do it in fun ways like having nights where you cook dinner together or movie nights where you watch one movie after another until he dozes off. Jihoon is honestly really happy you’re around.

LEE SEOKMIN

You didn’t think it was possible to know this much about a person that wasn’t your own self. But every day Seokmin comes home, slumps down across the couch from you, and tells you literally everything that happened to him that day. You don’t mind because he always tells his stories in really entertaining ways, but you really do hear about everything. Also not always the best roommate, he can get a little messy and loud. But he’s always very sweet and apologetic and makes up for anything he does very quickly. Definitely becomes your friend, though. You’re living together, and he loves making new friends, so why not? He’ll introduce you to his whole friend group and weave you into his life with no issues at all. Very happy to have a new friend around.

KIM MINGYU

Literally every time you lay down on the couch, Mingyu comes in and drops his entire body on top of yours. Really just the cuddliest person you could have possibly lived with. Once you two are close, Mingyu is all physical affection all the time. Honestly also not the best roommate, he annoys you quite often. Not because he’s inconsiderate or rude, but because he doesn’t always think about what he’s doing and forgets to consider how it’ll affect his roommate lol. You end up posting a chore list on the fridge to remind both of you to keep the place clean. And you’ll post friendly little reminders about things he needs to remember. He’s just grateful to have a roommate that’s so patient with him despite the face that he knows he’s not always easy to live with. He buys you lots of food and gifts to make up for it, and does lots of favors for you too. He may not always be the best roommate but he is a great guy to have around.

XU MINGHAO

Honestly the perfect roommate. Minghao is quiet and clean and respectful. He doesn’t even have to try, he’s just kind of naturally that way. And he’s also really easy going as long as what you do doesn’t affect your shared spaces or his own personal space. Doesn’t really see any reason to be friends with his roommate, but if you start to be friendly, he’ll match your energy. He’s also a perfect friend that way, he lets you take the lead in everything to make sure you feel comfortable and doesn’t push anything. Once you two are closer, Minghao is the cutest roommate ever. He loves ranting to you about his interests and showing you what he’s working on. He’s also happy to listen to you talk about your hobbies. Both of you will get the other to join in on your projects so you can have more fun things in common.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

More like siblings than roommates lol. The two of you get into the dumbest most pettiest arguments 24/7. It’s never anything personal or serious or having to do with your living space, it’s just the most random stuff. But you two will bicker all the time. Someone would think you two had been living together your whole lives. But then someone will be like, “Why do you live together if you hate each other?” And you’ll both pause and immediately go, “What are you talking about? I love [Y/N]!” “Yeah, Seungkwan is like my best friend in the whole world.” You two just really get each other and it makes living together really easy. Cuz you both expect the same thing out of a roommate, so living together is smooth sailing. Well when you’re not debating who the best character in your current favorite show is lol.

HANSOL VERNON CHWE

Vernon is sincerely the chillest roommate. He doesn’t think anything of anything, when you ask him to do things around your place, he just changes his behavior to make you more comfortable. Of course you do the same to him but he honestly doesn’t expect a lot from you. Is 100% going to be your friend. You get texts throughout the day like: [Y/N], please bring meeeee snaaaaaacks, I don’t wanna get out of beeeeeeeeeeeeed. And then you bring the snacks and notice he’s watching a show you really like so you just climb into bed with him and before you know it, you’ve wasted a whole day binging tv with Vernon instead of everything else you needed to do. His habits definitely rub off on you lol. But he’s an easy person to live with.

LEE CHAN

Honestly a great roommate. He’s terrified of upsetting you lol. At first he’s walking on egg shells around you because he doesn’t want to do anything to make you angry. But you assure him that as long as you two communicate with each other, everything will be fine, so he finally relaxes. He may avoid being your friend for awhile because he’s a little shy. So it takes a lot of encouragement from you. So you’re always planning movie nights or fun activities or really anything to do together. Chan honestly adores you for it. He’s grateful to have a roommate that makes him feel so welcomed and comfortable. He repays it all back by giving you a very genuine and kind and loving friendship.

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bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture · 3 years

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Okay, so the brain’s a bit caught up in one of my other writing projects, but I refuse to abandon this entirely. So I’m gonna just power through this and then get back to Vibing™.

Actually, it’s kinda cute that the hero Thirteen is introduced in chapter thirteen. I wonder if Hori did that on purpose or just managed it as a fun coincidence.

[No. 13 - Rescue Training]

So we start off on Wednesday morning (which would be April 12th/11th) at 7:35 AM. There’s a hostage situation by a villain who looks like a goddamned pokemon (my brain has made the ‘buff ditto’ comparison and now I am Shook) who is, according to Mt. Lady, a serial robber and murderer by the name of Habit Headgear. Kamui Woods, whose wood bindings have apparently been broken trying and failing to contain the guy, is tossed back on the ground as he notes the villain is strong and a quick strategist.

Seems like she and Kamui Woods have teamed up together! Or at least responded to the same villain attack again. Also, who’s this dude?

Random Mii Blaster escaped from Smash Ultimate and is now in BNHA, when will the madness end.

Naturally, the hostages are not handling this situation super well, though the crowds watching don’t seem as worried? IDK hard to tell from far away. The buff ditto villain uses double team, no wait I mean agility, actually his high speed to show how outclasses the heroes on the scene are.

As he announces his plans to escape, we see All Might rushing in loud enough for the stomps to be heard. He announces his arrival mere moments before he fucking snaps the villain’s neck with a handchop - or, well, not really, but damn that had to be a hard hit. All Might also managed to grab the family out of harm’s way in the process, announcing that he’s on his morning commute.

The crowds cheer for All Might, while Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods are somewhat put out - they appreciate the help, but also worry All Might will put them out of business.

(I guess this is where all those fics that do bring up how All Might cuts down the hero job market on his own pull from? Or just coincidence, who knows.)

The police thank All Might with salutes for the help, and All Might give his own quick responding salute before he declares he needs to head off so he won’t be late. Of course, that’s when he hears about a hit-and-run (that super hearing lol) and takes off, just so coincidentally in the direction of said trouble. Despite that fact that he needs to get to work. This man.

While he’s in the air, he considers how his speed has dropped, and that he’s been weakening since he passed on his power. Not to mention that after his rescue of Izuku and Katsuki from the sludge villain, his maximum time went down. Which is not at all referencing him about to overdo it again and lose more time, no siree.

We descend into a flashback to right where we left off after the battle trial, with All Might confronting Izuku about telling Katsuki about (some of) One For All. All Might is surprised and a bit nervous? Worried? Or that bead of sweat in the flashback might be from the strain of holding the form when he’s about to run out of time.

In any case, Izuku in the past apologizes and says he hasn’t even told his mom, but that he had to tell Katsuki something… All Might determines this might be a consequence of not being explicit enough about keeping the secret, since Izuku isn’t the type to brag or boast. Also calls Izuku too sincere, hah, isn’t that the truth. All Might says it’s lucky Katsuki thought he was joking, so All Might can forgive the slip this time, but that Izuku cannot tell another soul.

(Stares at this.) (Looks at recent manga events.) Whelp.

Anyways, All Might catches the car of the hit and run guy (and man, that face the dude is making) while thinking about how, suitable successor or not, Izuku’s still just fifteen, so All Might had to make things clear. Of course, then All Might overhears about a hostage crisis the next town over, and, well.

We transition to right after lunch (12:50) with Aizawa announcing that that day’s hero training plans - something supervised by himself, All Might, and one other teacher. Izuku realizes it has to be a special class, while Sero raises his hand to ask what they’re doing. Aziawa’s reply?

I swear this is exactly the same shit All Might did before the battle trial, gimme a second-

Bahahahaha incredible. Though then again, I wonder if those are security cards keys to certain locations. It would make sense, though then I wonder how Katsuki and Izuku were able to get into Training Ground Beta without one… hrm…

Anyways! Kaminari, Ashido, and Kirishima end up talking about it; Kaminari says it’ll be a rough day, with Ashido pumped as she agrees, and Kirishima also pumped as he says that it’s what being a hero is all about. Asui notes that she’ll be right as home in a flood. Aizawa silences them with a glare, saying he’s not done. He presses the button to unveil the costume lockers, telling the class that it’s their choice whether or not to wear their costumes, since some of them are ill-suited for this kind of activity.

Oh boy, will this put you on the path to the hero you’ll be come… but not for the reasons you think, buddy. The joke here is trauma.

It seems like most of the class does still choose to go in costume, barring Izuku - whose costume is still being repaired after the damage done to it in battle training. However, he still has his belt, gloves, knee pads, and mouth guard (with the mouth guard being new) on him.

Golly, I wonder why your costume needed to be replaced, Izuku.

(thonk.)

Also Tenya jkfdkjdgfkj Oh My God You Dramatic Egg. He’s got a whistle and he’s directing the class to line up by ID number so they can fill the seats in an orderly fashion.

I’m love this boy so much. And it’s even funnier because the bus has an open layout, meaning it was pointless. Poor Tenya is in Despair, with Ashido teasing him for his efforts being wasted.

Savage. But yeah, looks like it’s Sato, Izuku, Asui, Kirishima, Tenya, Ashido, Aoyama, and Kaminari in the front seats. And Asui - sorry, Tsuyu - just outright says she says what’s on her mind, which startles Izuku since he didn’t expect her to talk to him I guess? She tells Izuku to call her Tsuyu, then turns to him and just says his quirk resembles All Might’s.

Izuku, being the sincere boy he is, stutters and stumbles out something that almost looks like a denial, before Kirishima, bless his himbo soul, points out that All Might doesn’t get hurt by his own quirk, so they’re already different in that way. He then goes on to state that that kind of simple, strength enhancing quirk is awesome and that a lot of cool stuff can be done with it.

Kirishima then goes on to show off his hardening, saying that it’s good for a fight, but otherwise boring. Midoriya ‘holy fuck I love quirks’ Izuku thinks otherwise, actually sparkling as he proclaims the quirk to be neat and more than enough for going pro. Kaminari notes that heroes also have to worry about popular appeal. Aoyama says his navel laser quirk is both strong and cool, and thus perfect for heroics. Ashido then kneecaps him by adding in that that’s as long as he doesn’t blow up his own stomach.

Ashido’s Savagery: The Sequel.

In the next panel, we see Katsuki’s been paying attention to this convo, which has me wondering if this is when he was first starting to piece together OFA from Izuku’s mention of ‘getting the quirk from someone else’ and ‘like All Might’s’. However, when he is brought up in the conversation (alongside Shouto) as examples of ‘strong and cool quirks’, he feigns disinterest and looks away, trying to play cool.

(Also, he doesn’t seem to have his gauntlets on him here, though I know he’s brought one with him as seen a bit later. I wonder whether he chose to leave one of them behind or if he might have been restricted from bringing more than one by Aizawa… interesting either way.)

Tsuyu then brings up how Katsuki being so unhinged means he’ll never be popular. Katsuki, naturally, takes offence and slams his hands on the rail in front of him, demanding to know what she just said. Tsuyu sticks out her tongue as she points at him making her point. Poor Jirou, having to be seated next to someone so loud.

And the moment literally the whole discord was waiting for, Kaminari’s brutal vocabulary takedown of Katsuki, something cut entirely from the anime. Friendly reminder that Kaminari is, in fact, a major lit nerd! He’s Not Dumb! Stop Making Him Dumb In Fics! He not only has the most verbose vocabulary in the class that isn’t from the rich kids (and in some ways is even more so), he also has Katsuki absolutely pegged despite only knowing him for a few days. He Earned His UA Spot.

While Katsuki snaps back at Kaminari, Izuku is hunched over in disbelief that Katsuki’s the one getting bullied for once, but he supposes that that’s UA for you…

To the side, Yaomomo declares the conversation vulgar, while Ochako is laughing and saying it’s fun. Offscreen, I’m assuming that it’s Kaminari mock-marvelling at how he didn’t think Katsuki’s mouth could get any fouler.

The last panel on the page is Aizawa interrupting them to announce that they’ve arrived at the training grounds, and to look sharp. The whole class (I guess?) snaps to attention.

And that’s the halfway point, so I will leave the USJ proper for next time! This has been a Savage Mina and Smart Denki appreciation post, so appreciate them, or else.

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cloudy-reverie · 3 years

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Hello I want to ask you something about Mars Red (I don't mind about spoilers) tell me what happened with Maeda and Yamagami-san in chapter 13 and also, do you think the anime was good enough? Thanks.

Hi there! I’ll answer both of your questions under the cut, as this will be a long post.

Do I think the anime was good enough? Well, I have mixed feelings about it, and I’ve been thinking of doing a full post of my thoughts after I’ve watched it all a second time now that it’s complete and easy to marathon. I enjoyed the anime immensely, but I’m not above critiquing things I like, either.

I started reading the Mars Red manga last year, and even now after the anime, I still prefer the manga’s version of events. I haven’t seen the stage play, the original source of material, so I can’t account for how accurately the manga or the anime adapted its events. As I understand it, the anime gained attention just for being an adaptation of a stage play, which doesn’t happen very often. Usually, it’s the other way around. That explains the interesting use of cinematography in the anime, the emphasis on drama and soliloquys and so forth. Some people might find the anime pretentious in that way, but, well, it is what it is, being adapted from theatre. Being an English Literature major, I didn’t mind it, and I also like the occasional artsy series.

Anyway, as a manga reader, I had different expectations going into the anime. The manga is more character-driven, whereas I feel the anime was more plot-driven, and the addition of anime-only characters – as interesting as they are – made the series seem crowded with only 12 episodes to pack everything in. The manga fleshes out the regular cast more (the anime didn't fully touch upon Defrott and Suwa’s pasts, left out Takeuchi’s shock over a revelation, erased parts of Maeda’s personality, left out some fun Code Zero moments, Aoi encountering Code Zero early on, etc.), and it definitely toned down the violence for a more mainstream audience because Shutaro’s manga rescue of Yamagami was far bloodier and terrifying, as Shutaro, agonizingly, begins to realize what he’s capable of and who he may become.

And one example that I still complain about (lol) is that in the manga, Shutaro and Aoi’s relationship is highlighted in the first chapter alone and emphasized in subsequent chapters. It’s clear they care for each other. It’s clear they’re among the main stage players. It’s easier to be emotionally invested in what happens to them by the end.

In the anime, Maeda takes centre stage instead, with the first episode introducing us to his fiancée, Misaki, whom he has never met in-person until she becomes a vampire. From that point onward, their what-if relationship and Maeda’s regret is frequently alluded to, culminating in the final episode.

Typically, whoever you introduce in the first chapter/episode are the characters that you’ll be going on a journey with, so it was a bit jarring for me when I realized Shutaro and Aoi and the rest of Code Zero wouldn’t be introduced until the second episode (well, Aoi did make an appearance, but they had her interact with Maeda more). We never get to see all of the flashbacks of Aoi and Shutaro, never are shown how much Aoi is determined to find Shutaro. We never even get to see Shutaro's “dream visit,” and then that silly vampire (sorry, Shutaro, I still love ya) left visible footprints in her yard after claiming he was a ghost, and she definitely noticed, so she knows something is up. Had if we had received all of that, perhaps the rescue and the finale would’ve been far more emotional for anime-only viewers invested in their relationship.

Instead, there was more feeling for Maeda and Misaki because the anime took care in telling their story. The anime was good in that aspect because they made Maeda and Misaki’s tragic relationship the focus, and so we were able to reach full circle by the end. Meanwhile, with Shutaro and Aoi practically being sidelined, I saw comments from anime-only viewers confused about why they were suddenly a main couple or getting the spotlight in the end. The anime could’ve avoided that confusion by tightening up their storytelling and fleshing out Aoi and Shutaro more as characters.

I also feel the anime focused a lot more on the politics and military, too. There were so many lengthy meeting scenes when it’s more balanced in the manga, I find. Also, just the other day, I was rereading some exchanges between Shutaro and Yamagami, and laughing, and thinking about why the anime didn’t include those because they were funny daily life scenes. There are also anime reviews complaining about the pacing, the random tone changes, and other things that might’ve compelled them to rate the anime higher.

So, do I think the anime is good? I might be biased, but I enjoyed it; it wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was good for what it intended to deliver. Also, I like series based in the Taisho era, so that was a bonus for me. The manga isn’t 100% perfect, either; it might disappoint Maeda fans, for one thing, and it does tell its story quickly (I wish it was longer). I personally prefer the manga over the anime, but I love both.

The way I view Mars Red anime and manga is like this: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009) are both favourite series of mine. FMAB is prefered by most people, and is widely considered one of the greatest anime series ever, a modern masterpiece. It adapted the manga completely – only because the manga had finished by then, and I absolutely love the manga. However, it doesn’t mean FMA ’03 is bad in comparison; it just has a different but no less unique storyline that Arakawa also liked. With the manga still running at the time, FMA '03, being as popular as it was, had no choice but to go its own way for completion's sake.

This is the case for me here: I like the Mars Red anime and manga for different reasons. I’d probably recommend the manga first due to my preference for deeper character development. But the anime also tells an interesting version, though it could’ve done with a more streamlined focus. Karakara Kemuri adapted Fujisawa Bun-o’s stage play in her own way, presumably keeping to the general storyline but also adding personal touches of her own (you’ll know if you’ve read any of her works before); Signal M.D. studio handled the anime adaptation with their own team of writers while striving for the theatrical atmosphere of its roots. They accomplish different results.

And now that there’s a game with more information about the characters, the Mars Red universe seems so much bigger in an exciting way.

Now, to your second question:

MAGComi is a monthly manga magazine, and you can read chapters online for free for a limited time. They made chapter 13 available to read while the final chapter 14, newly released, is for premium subscribers. Chapter 12 is still available to view, as well.

Since I can’t read Japanese, I will be excitedly awaiting a translation from Laughing in Quarantine scanlations until I get my officially licensed volumes in English this year and next. Thus, I can only make guesses based on visuals alone while factoring in the anime’s events.

So, in the previous chapter 12, Code Zero encounter Nakajima, as they do in the anime, though the context differs slightly. It’s more menacing, and Maeda is revealed to be inside one of those vampire unit mechanical suits, already a vampire himself, near mindless. Yamagami is enraged. A fight ensues. Then, the Great Kanto Earthquake occurs, as it does in the anime.

In chapter 13, as you can see, the fight continues, dangerously close to shafts of sunlight; the rest seem trapped by the rubble, unable to get to the two in time. Yamagami sees Maeda shed a tear, and they exchange words, and Yamagami seems determined to save Maeda’s humanity. Yamagami then pushes himself and Maeda into the sunlight. They grin at each other, exchanging more words, as they are both swept up into flames, dying together.

Then more incredible stuff happens in the rest of the chapter, as you can see! We’ll have to wait for the scanlation team to provide us more solid answers.

#mars red #ask #these are just my thoughts and opinions; no one has to agree #my post

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wavesmp3 · 3 years

Text

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding.

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that)

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing...

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth.

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” / “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.” it hurts so bad im sorry

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!” I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.”

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b

this whole part... chills bro

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao

#oasis #mine #not sure what else to tag this lol #oh #directors commentary #this got so long for no reason

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ygboysygbby · 4 years

Text

Can of Coffee

Bobby/Kim Jiwon Scenario

Request: 16. Bobby please✨

Prompt: “You look like an idol.” “Who?” And then you mentioned the name of the guy who’s talking to you.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine...”

Saturday night, around 11PM to be precise. You sighed deeply as you looked down to what used to be coffee in your grasp, spilled as you got out the convenient store. Just your luck, a guy decided to go in, very quickly too, when you went out the door. You had not even sipped the coffee yet. Thankfully, it didn’t ruin your shoes but it was still an unfortunate event.

“Why is this person not looking at me?”

Standing in front of you was a guy quite taller than you. His hair was messy, almost looked like he just got up from bed, with his baggy pants and sweaters, layered with another jacket. A dark grey face mask was covering his face. You could barely see his eyes with how messy his hair were, and also, the looking away thing. Him looking away seemed more of trying to hide his face, rather than an expression of embarrassment or shyness.

“I’ll buy you a new one very quick—“

The guy quickly moved to ran back in the convenient store, it seemed like he was in such hurry and distressed, but you called him. “Wait,”

Silence.

“You look like an idol.” You blurted without thinking. “But I couldn’t quite put my finger on who...”

“Who?!” The guy replied quickly. There was a hint of nervousness in the tone of his voice, but you couldn’t really tell why.

“Uh, you know that guy from ikon? What was his name again...” You hummed. “B.I? No, the other one, Bobby... Yeah, Bobby!!!” You laughed at your own words. “Sorry, I’m a little random sometimes.”

“Uh...” The man awkwardly looked at you. “You still want the coffee? I mean, I don’t mind buying you two even.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I have plenty of that cheap-brand coffee at home anyway!” You laughed.

“I insist.”

You widened your eyes in amusement for a second. “Alright then, make it two, but the other one’s for you. How’s that sound?”

“Cool.” He shrugged and started walking back inside the store, with you following him from behind.

“So, what’s your name anyway?” You asked out of the blue when both of you reached the cashier.

The guy looked back at you for a good second, almost like the question you asked was so unbelievable.

“What? Oh... you thought I was hitting on you, huh?” You rolled your eyes.

“What?! No! I mean...” He shook his head, thanking the cashier after, as he grabbed the two cans of coffee. “Wanna sit down for a while? I mean, if you’re not in a hurry that is...”

“So, now YOU are hitting on me?” You folded your arms, grinning.

He finally broke into a laugh. His eyes turned into crescents. “My name’s Jiwon.” He said as he handed you the coffee.

You grabbed the can and told him your name. “I have a day off tomorrow anyway, so... yeah! I don’t mind sitting down for a while.”

“Alright.” He said casually, but immediately stopped his tracks. “Wait, does my name not ring any bell to you?”

“What bell again?” You laughed while pushing the store door open for both of you.

“Forget it.”

“You know what? I like your sense of humor, I think it kinda matches mine!” You laughed again as you sat down. “I like people with dry jokes!”

“Sure.” He laughed too and took the chair next to you. “What do you do anyway?”

“I’ve just graduated from university three months ago, but I decided to take some short course this summer before I jump into the work field.” You explained. “You?”

“I don’t really know if I should tell you what I do for a living...” He chuckled.

You gasped quietly. “Don’t tell me you’re some kind of drug dealer or something???”

He laughed, this time, out loud. “You’re so funny, I swear to God.”

For some odd reason, your heart skipped one beat.

“Don’t avoid the question!” You almost stutter.

“Hmm...” Jiwon rubbed his chin, thinking. “Let’s just say I work in the music industry...”

“Wow!!!” You beamed. “What are you, some kind of music composer? Writer?”

The guy laughed again and shook his head in disbelief. “You could say so.”

“Which entertainment are you working for? SM? No, AOMG? You kinda look like someone who could be friends with Jay Park!” You said excitedly. “Sorry, it’s the caffeine, I get a little too excited sometimes.” You giggled.

“I don’t mind.” Although you couldn’t see his face through the mask, his eyes turned into crescents again. You knew he was smiling. “No, I don’t work for AOMG sadly.”

“What a bummer! I was about to ask you to introduce me to Gray too!!!” You joked.

“You like hiphop?”

“I guess? I never really take too much time to memorize all the artists’ names though.” You shrugged. “The only guys I recalled clearly were Jay Park and Gray, and I guess, those two guys from ikon that I said kinda looked like you earlier.”

He suddenly cleared his throat. “Uh... Enough talking about me, you mentioned about taking a short course?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m taking some digital illustration class around four to five times a week.” You replied excitedly, totally oblivious that the guy you were talking with, was changing the topic.

“Awesome.” He said, amused. “You uh, draw human and stuff? Or just you know, cartoony, or I don’t know... I really don’t know too much about art.” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m focusing on fashion illustration, and also some advertising. Occasionally I do paintings too, but that’s just purely to waste some time...”

“Ah, I have a friend who’s super into painting as well!” He said with excitement, that he at least knew something.

“Oh? Do you have their Instagram or something? Can I see their works?”

Jiwon cursed silently. He really did not think the words that escaped his mouth through.

He couldn’t exactly show Mino from Winner’s Instagram account, can’t he?

“Wait... I— Oh, thank the heavens!”

“Huh?”

He took his phone out from his pocket, and swiped through his gallery for a while, before showing it to you.

“He sent this to me a few days ago, it’s his latest and I don’t think he has posted it online yet.”

You took your time to analyze the artwork. “Hmm... he has a very distinct style, it’s colorful yet dark at the same time.” Your eyes were still fixated on the phone. “I like it though, it seems like it has a deeper meaning.”

The lad smiled at you secretly. Admiring how passionate you were talking about art, that made you seem even more attractive.

Time passed by so quickly. Both of you were so indulged into the conversation, that was basically pure random talk, that you did not realize that it had been almost three hours since you dropped a can of coffee to the ground, and a stranger with messy hair insisted on buying you another can.

“Whoa! It’s already this late?!” You were shocked when you saw your watch. “Yah, we should probably head back now...”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He sighed. “I have to admit though,”

“Admit what?”

“I kinda don’t want our conversation to end this early... You can say I’m hitting on you all you want!” He giggled.

Another beat was skipped.

“You know what... yeah, it’s mutual!” You giggled too, but a blush crept onto your cheeks without you realizing.

It seemed like he was grinning from eye to eye, you could not really tell because of the mask. Speaking of the mask, he had not been taking them off since you first met him, making you curious of how he would look without it.

“Where do you live? Is it far? I can take you back home if you want.”

“I-It’s okay, I can just take a cab.” Did I just stutter?

“My place is nearby and I don’t mind.” He said, shrugging.

“No really, exactly why I don’t want you to do so.” You refused politely.

“Then I’ll pay for your cab?”

“No, Jiwon... you don’t have to—”

“I insist, again.” He winked.

This time, you were sure your heart was about to stop.

Just the luck, a cab immediately drove by, and he quickly called it. “Give me your number.” He suddenly said.

“I thought you wasn’t going to ask.” You smirked playfully, but deep down, your heart was doing a backflip.

“So I can pay you back on the cab!”

“Does that mean I’ll see you again in the future?” You hummed, liking the idea.

“Yeah...” He folded his arms. “Probably, most probably.”

“Alright.” You cheekily grinned after you typed your number on his phone. “Umm, I’ll see ya?”

“I’ll text you later.” He waved.

The whole trip back to your house, you could not stop smiling to yourself like an idiot. You literally felt like you were a high schooler again. It had been quite some time that you had not met a somewhat “romantic” encounter, if you could call it that.

You were too smitten, that you actually forgot that until you both bid your goodbyes, you still had not see the face behind his mask.

Just a few minutes after you arrived home, with a little unsettled feelings because of the face mask thingy, a notification popped up on your phone.

“Hey! Arrived safely? I forgot to... you know, show you my face today, didn’t I?” Followed by a grinning emoji.

You wasted no time in replying back. “What are you gonna do about it then? Send me a selfie?” You teased.

A minute later, another notification popped up again.

“I hope this doesn’t seem like a catfish lol. You can call me Bobby too, if you want!”

You did not expect him to actually send you a picture.

Nor did you expect him to look that handsome.

Also, you didn’t exactly expect him to be...

ACTUALLY BOBBY FROM iKON???

Bobby is just doing the social distancing y'all, that’s why he didn’t open the mask 😂😂😂

Jokes aside, I hope everyone’s staying safe and healthy. Please don’t just go outside because you’re bored at home like... I’m so sick of those kind of people :(

I hope this story could at least cheer y'all up even just a little bit! <3

#bobby scenarios #bobby imagines #ikon scenarios #ikon #bobby ikon #ikon imagines #kim jiwon #junhoe scenarios #donghyuk scenarios #chanwoo scenarios #jinhwan scenarios #hanbin scenarios #yunhyeong scenarios #ikonic

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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gleefail · 4 years

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Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee Ballad

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northwest-cryptid · 4 years

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Sometimes I think about the fact that this site legitimately convinced me that follower numbers and post popularity determine your worth as a person all because I had been ignored by people more popular than myself. Which I can only assume stems from the “fan/follow and content creator/blogger” mentality which we can simply summarize by saying, if you are a content creator and I follow you, I am a fan of your work. I am one of the hundreds if not thousands of people who follow you. Suddenly you have a dilemma, if I try to talk to you and if you reply to me; suddenly every single one of your fans wants a reply. It falls back to the classic “if you don’t have enough to share with the class you shouldn’t bring anything at all.” The issue is that simply put you are giving me attention which costs you a bit of social energy and your time; which you might not have for everyone. So you have a couple options if you want to be my friend, you can either talk with me openly and deal with a ton of people becoming upset and believing it’s unfair that you do so because you won’t also give the thousands of others the same time of day simply because you can’t. Or you can talk to me in secret and just HOPE that I don’t go spilling the beans because “hey look at me I hang out with big popular person” would bring in a lot of personal “clout” and popularity for me. There is however a loophole to this whole situation... if I am ALSO a content creator or popular blogger, suddenly it just “makes sense” why you’d give ME the time of day, “after all, who wouldn’t” is likely going through the heads of people who follow both of us.

(This got really long so here’s a Read More to save your dash.)

This... is the exact kind of toxic mentality that almost broke me mentally about a year ago. I say I left this site about a year ago, but in reality it was even before that; you could see me slowly “losing interest” I had begun to stray so far from who I was that I no longer felt like me but rather something that wanted to be “more” something that wanted to be popular not for the fame or the popularity itself but for the freedom that came with it. Because if I was as popular as all the others who I had tried to speak with maybe they’d actually reply, maybe then I could have the friends I so desperately wanted, friends who I’m not just following around all the time pretending I’m worthy of their time, but rather people who value me and WANT to spend time with me; people who like me and actually think I’m a cool guy to spend time with. Therein lies the problem, even if people did want to spend time with me, I wasn’t even sure of what or who I was anymore. I was a blogger, I was a bunch of tropes; I was someone trying to appease everyone, and I didn’t realize that I had friends who genuinely just wanted to know me. The actual, real; honest me. Only thing was, I was so far gone at this point I didn’t know who that person was anymore. For the last roughly 2.5 - 3 years I’ve been slowly recovering from all that, I found who I was; I went through the cultural ceremonies sure, but what I honestly believe was my “coming of age moment” was when I had the realization that the people who mattered to me most didn’t care if I was anyone popular, they were willing to risk the odds of people seeking their attention and despite the risk that people would feel that it was unfair for them to give ME of all people, their oh-so-important attention, they did so; openly and proudly. This is why I have so much genuine respect and love for my friends, because they wake up every day and CHOOSE to spend their days with me.

This is going to sound really cheesy but as much as I owe a LOT to all my friends in general; I really owe so much to 2 people in particular. Those being my good friend Shelby and my amazing girlfriend Ryu.

I apologize for this post already being really long and kinda weirdly worded but, it’s very late; or early or whatever and I have a lot of things to say. As for Shelby she was someone I was VERY intimidated by, she is an amazing artist and someone who I genuinely looked up to (still do). I really wanted to be her friend but I felt like we had too many barriers, she’s really into gore and I’m really squeamish, she’s and artist and I can’t hardly draw for shit, she’s a big time horror fan I’m an absolute coward. So you can see where I thought “we’re not going to be great friends” and BOY was I wrong. I didn’t think she’d give me the time of day, she was someone people knew of, I was someone... well I was someone lol. But she did, she did give me the time of day, and she seemed to appreciate the time we spent together; despite the fact that I was just some random asshole. She even introduced me to Laura who would go on to become a very good friend of mine and like a sister to me and honestly I don’t think I’d be where I am today if Shelby hadn’t decided to be my friend. She helped me gain a sort of self confidence I didn’t have and it was that sort of self confidence that lead me to later meet my girlfriend.

For the sake of keeping to her online handle I’ll refer to her as Ryu, we actually met on tumblr and had been following each other for a long time talking on and off and I always felt way too shy and awkward to talk to her properly because I am very intimidated by new people and it’s very difficult for me to make friends as I believe I’m being a bother. However she never seemed to mind my shyness, she was there to give me a hand up when I was depressed and was often understanding of my really awkward attempts at becoming friends lol. She and I spent a lot of time together most of the time just talking about legitimately random stuff didn’t even matter what, I just enjoyed spending time with her. I don’t want to get too into my personal life on a public tumblr post of all things but it was so refreshing to meet someone who was just human, and understood that people aren’t perfect. She accepted me knowing of my flaws and being okay with the fact that there was a lot I still had to work on, I’ve fucked up a lot before and I appreciate that she’s willing to forgive those mistakes and let me show that I’m growing and making positive changes. We mesh really well together and I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who I can just so unapologetically be myself around. She has helped me to learn to accept and love myself and I do my best every day to see myself the way she sees me. I’m used to wanting to be better for the sake of someone else, but she has taught me that I should also want to be better for my own sake. She is genuinely the kindest person I have met, and to be living with her now feels like some kind of dream. She once told me that all she wanted me to be was myself, and I don’t think I’ve ever had that level of genuine acceptance and love. To hear someone say that I, myself; was good enough for them was something I never thought I would hear.

I love all my friends, and they mean the world to me. However I say I owe these 2 the most because my life would literally not be the same without them. Shelby picked me up when I was at my lowest, she offered me her friendship and a chance to start again and forge a self where I didn’t have to be anything more than me. That eventually lead to me meeting Ryu who not only accepted me as a friend, but fell in love with a fluffy haired cryptid like me. I don’t know where I’d be without her in my life, but I really don’t care to find out because I’m more than happy to have her in my life.

If there’s any wisdom I can pass onto anyone using this hellsite, it is this:

Numbers are meaningless, your worth is not determined by the time or attention that some popular blogger or artist or musician gives you. You don’t NEED to be anything more than you. You should never stop striving to improve yourself, and growing is always a great thing; but you don’t need to be “more” you are enough.

#If I said something really stupid forgive me and my tired ass

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queenofbaws · 5 years

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queenie gets emotional and rambles on and on about her own fic under the cut lol

so for...very brief context...about a year and a half ago, i had to drop a lot of stuff (a lot) because my health got so bad that i literally couldn’t get out of bed on my own. it was a huge bummer to be a totally independent, functional adult one day, and then wake up the next to a body that was very much sort of...decaying from the inside. so i packed up a bunch of stuff to move back home where i could be monitored in case of an emergency, and i had to make some bigass adjustments to my life, but i promised myself that even if my physical health was nonexistent, by god, i was gonna keep my brain working!!!

when all this sort of came to a head, i had only JUST posted a chapter or two of the (almost)s, and i was. terrified, ahaha. i had never written ANYTHING for the UD fandom, i didn’t know anyone IN the UD fandom, I HAD MISSED THE UD FANDOM’S HAYDAY BY ABOUT TWO YEARS, and boy howdy was i worried about whether people would think i was handling certain subject matter the right way or not. but i posted! and people responded! and i met some SUPER cool people, and i’ve been able to live every writer’s dream of hearing that my story has resounded with some of them, and all that fear i’d had about writing it sort of dissipated (for the MOST PART, at least), until...well, my health kept getting grosser and grosser, lol. it’s a shit story - stick with me, if you’ve made it this far ;P

there are an unfortunate number of days where my eyes/brain/whatever are just too tired to look at computer or phone screens, and i was realizing that i just...wasn’t getting a lot of writing done because of that. i’d stare at a blank word doc and just sort of feel sorry for myself because nothing was HAPPENING. and then i got an idea. one that honestly is probably pretty obvious (god knows i used to tell my students to do this, so idk why it took ME so long to do)...instead of typing my stuff, why not just...get a notebook, some pens, and go middle school on this shit? why not embrace that old study hall mentality of writing during class? the good ol’ deviantart days of scribbling down a songfic in 20 minutes and posting it IMMEDIATELY without editing???

so i’ve been doing that! and i’ve been FILLING notebooks like i used to in the old days. and that has felt SO GOOD. maybe i can’t do the things i used to be able to do PHYSICALLY, but ya gurl can still get pen smears all up and down a college-ruled notebook page like nobody’s business, hahaha! and i just sat down with an old notebook i used to take notes in during grad school, with the intention of tearing out all the psych notes and only leaving blank pages i could write with...and uh, i found something. right in the middle of this notebook i haven’t touched in about TWO YEARS, away from ANYTHING else, I found this:

...theeeeeeee very first draft of the very first chapter of the (almost)s. way before it had a title, way before i knew where i wanted to go with it, back when my only goal was to fill the gaps in the game’s canon to make sense of how all these characters could wind up being friends. if you asked me an HOUR ago whether i had handwritten or typed out my first draft of this chapter, i definitely would’ve said typed, lol. i have...no recollection of writing any of this by hand, but...there it is. in this random-ass notebook i decided to recycle on a whim today.

it’s just so weird to look back on it now, seeing it there on a page (in very shitty handwriting), knowing that when i started, i had no idea that it would be this huge part of my life; this weird, spooky life-preserver during this dumbass medical journey; that i’d be sitting down to work on chapter 15 one day, very quickly approaching the 300k word mark; that it would introduce me to such fantastic people and get me back into writing when, quite frankly, i had been thinking i wasn’t going to ever write again!

this has been an incredibly long-winded and rambling way of saying very little, hahaha, but opening this notebook and seeing THIS, of all things, right there has just been a really, really emotional experience. so if you’ve been on this until dawn journey with me (whether that means reading the fic, or just choosing not to unfollow me every time i start rambling on in my tags about it XD), thank you <3 i can’t find words enough to express how important this fic has become to me, over this past year and a half, and i’m so, so honored that anyone else would be a part of it.

now if you excuse me, i’m uh, gonna cry a little bit more, and then (hopefully) get some words down ;)

#writing woes #the almosts #personal #im a medical mess #(thats my chronic illness tag btw for people who might be new so...if illness bugs you...there you go)

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julia-highstorms · 5 years

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how did you realize you were ace if it's okay to ask

I’m glad you asked actually, dear Anon! 😊 I only had knowledge about asexuality when I was around 21, 22, since it’s a topic that is mostly not spoken. But I had some hints along the way as I grew up and I knew I wasn’t straight.

The earliest memory I have is when I waa eight lol you know how kids like asking “who do you think is the cutest in our class?”, this kind of stuff. So the girls in my classroom asked this between ourselves (of course you could only choose boys). And I’ve never had thought about it, I’ve never cared about it. But they pressed me to answer so I said it was my best friend, but because he was cool and duh my best friend. Then they told him this and he had a crush on me for a while and I was like 🙄 the whole time because ugh he was just my friend! Thankfully his crush ended. We still are friends until this day.

Then, as I entered adolescence, my friends started developing crushes and wanting to have their first kisses. I never bothered about it. Although I always loved reading/watching romcoms, I legit never cared about kissing and dating.

I only realised I maybe wasn’t “normal” when I started university. My college is one of the most LGBTQIA+ schools in the campus and I entered this amazing universe and met so many amazing people with many stories. But still none of them were like me. My friends shared stories about their relationships, random hook ups and sexuality. And, one day at a party, my drunk friends lol started mumbling on how they wanted to find a partner some day and settle down. You know, the “true love” thing. And, again, I was like, “wow. Do people really care about this?”. Because I never thought much about it. I’ve always been “if it happens, then cool. If it doesn’t happen - you know, love and sex -, it’s cool too”.

Then, I passed through that time of “oh god what am I?” phase. I’ve always been comfortable with my own skin, but realising that I was different from everybody else I knew was unsettling. I asked myself how I felt about romantic love and sex. Never cared. Why did it make me different from other people I know? Okay, I knew I wasn’t attracted to boys the way society taught me to be, so I wasn’t straight. Was I lesbian? ...No, nothing either. Although I’d always got along better with girls, I’ve never felt attracted to them too. I was just like Todd from BoJack Horseman lol “I don’t like guys. But I don’t like girls too. I’m not attracted to anyone. Maybe I’m just nothing.”

And then I just accepted it. I wasn’t like anybody else I knew and it was okay.

Then, one day, my mom asked me if I was asexual. I had no idea what it meant but based on the word I concluded that yeah, probably. Then I went to Google to know all about it and yay! Found somewhere I belonged. I know there are people who doesn’t like labelling themselves and it’s great. But I was feeling a bit lost not knowing for sure what I was, so when I found out about asexuality and AVEN, I felt so much better. I was so happy to know that there were more people like me and that there was a label to help me describe what I felt (or didn’t feel actually 😉). Digging further, I discovered about the grey area and aromantism. Although I usually identify myself as aro ace (because it’s easier for people to understand), I feel that the grey aromantic grey asexual best fits me because:

In my whole life, I had a “sort of” crush on just one person. He’s my senior and he’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. But it’s “sort of” because it isn’t a strong feeling or whatever. It’s more like “if I’d date someone, I’d like them to have his personality and temperament” kind of thing. So this is the closest I had of a romantic attraction.

And there was another guy in this elective class that was so cute he looked like he was in an indie boyband lol that if he wanted to make out, I’d be down to it. I caught him stealing some glances too but, again, it was such a trivial feeling to me that it never happened and I don’t feel like I missed anything. And this was my experience with sensual attraction, it wasn’t even a sexual attraction.

And there are some celebrities that I look and I feel the hots lol. But they’re celebrities so idk. But yeah I’ve had a crush on Ellen Page since I was 14 and Godfrey Gao can get it 🔥

But all these feelings happened just once in almost 25 years of my existence and whenever I try to picture myself in a romantic and/or sexual relationship, it just feels unnatural. I can’t even picture myself kissing someone (yep, I’ve never kissed nor had sex with anyone and I’m not ashamed about it). And this was how I realised I am ace! And I was so happy when PB introduced Zeph, because he told exactly what I’d always felt:

Sorry for the long post, dear Anon lol but I hope my story might help other ace people out there. We’re valid. I’m a proud aro ace.

#sorry this got longer than i expected #long post #not choices #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aromantism #aro ace #aromantic asexual #grey aro #grey ace #grey aro ace #grey aro grey ace #about me

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advernia · 5 years

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i’m amazed that i’ve been active for at least a couple days straight??? is it the effect of lesser fe3h playtimes + the silly coworker writing challenge at the workplace??? oh well ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

since i remembered i was trying to make work commentary a thing here, more rambling / author’s notes under the cut!

jul 6th // ikerev

push your way through the cracks is the first edgar/mc i’ve written here and while i’ve mentioned there that edgar is my fav out of the cast, i fear that i’ll probably take me a very long time to write another one bc... he’s my favorite. i noticed i have the tendency not to write much (or have finished works) about ships i really, really like despite... you know, liking them. hopefully not - shipping aside, i like exploring the characterizations of enigmatic types like edgar.

about the fic, i pretty much like it save for the second part bc i think i could’ve done something more with it - not exactly change the setting, but expounded a little further on it. i don’t know, it feels lacking somehow in comparison to the first two.

there are a lot of flower-related descriptions tossed here and there, but i think i succeeded in not being so purple prose-y? hopefully! this was pretty descriptive, i guess.

with this edgar fic present, that means i have 2 more red army doods to write about, namely zero & jonah. i was really aiming to make edgar the last one tho haha.

jul 12th // ikerev

weave me into your web is canon based, specifically pt. 24 of sirius’ route where they say ‘goodbye’. note those quotation marks.

i think i wrote this after a discussion i had with a friend about sirius & his route - she read some posts commenting on the route and she wanted a nearby opinion. we got into an agreement: while we do find sirius to be indeed husbando material, his route would’ve risked nothing if they gave him more / emphasized his flaws. his flaws, not mc’s, gosh.

no, seriously. in my opinion, mc fretting so much about being immature sort of blinds her from the little things that prove sirius is not so composed as he appears to be. it gets even worse when she realizes she’s fallen in love with him, and while i enjoy the black army going kira-kira rabu support team + seth being hopeless suitor, i’m going 50/50 on mc. she’s written to be indeed very single-minded come the war phase and while that’s not necessarily bad since she gets to broaden her perspective as she always does, i think i would’ve appreciated it if she came to most of the realizations on her own by reflecting on them based on how the events around her are progressing; and not simply by sirius / someone else pointing it out for her. no wonder she’d think she’s immature in comparison - it also irks me a bit that she keeps on fretting about her feelings for sirius. this is what i’d be sad to see again in other routes: the romance overthrowing the potential / present character development.

side note: i understand that in relationships with a notable age gap, maturity / perceived maturity can be a problem - i just wished that the route downplayed on this bc honestly, there are other things more interesting to explore than that angle, like, say; isn’t she from another culture or world or something????????? will those differences affect our potential relationship??????????????

on sirius himself, i recall reading on reddit that one person didn’t pick up ikerev for the reason that the cast is too perfect. that’s a fair opinion. i think i can relate this to sirius himself: while throughout the route you do see some flaws in him, he’s still overall the dude you’d write home about + that dude you’d dream introducing to your parents complete with that suave voice (thank u junichi suwabe). no, i’m not saying that he has to have some unlikable or quirky trait / wangsty backstory, it’s just that in my opinion he’s desirable but not exactly relatable. let him struggle, let me see him rise up from it. show me his humanity. there’s the scene with him and lancelot, but i want more. tho him being afraid of being alone is what i find extremely relatable and endearing about him, very nice. otherwise... well, maybe i have to reread the route again or smth.

anyway. the fic emphasizes actually on his character trait of self-control / restraint. did u know too much is bad for u??? it can reflect that since you hold yourself back too much, it could mean that you’re masking your true feelings, for example. there are various psychological studies on that. *stares at sirius* hMMM.

i took care to be quite descriptive on that kiss scene and at the same time, not to be so emotional on it bc it’s still sirius lol - i believe he’s not one to lose himself completely to his emotions, but he’s not that afraid to succumb to some of it - especially if he actually wants to feel them.

... this turned out to be a rant portion rather than a fic commentary now didn’t it

aug 24 // ikerev (i’m seeing a pattern here)

a beginner’s guide to waltz was seriously just some formatting experiment, then it blew up to something larger. i actually like it tho, it’s cute.

writing oliver is actually fun, not bc of the reason that i can be rude. he is rude, but he’s not like that for just the sake of being so. as seen with blanc, it’s probably a result of habit. why exactly he chose to be verbally aggressive is something i’d like to know in his route.

i have no idea how the relationship shift is portrayed either, but i do hope it’s a mortifying revelation on mc’s part lol. like, lookie here, that little kid with his wee shorts and pretty hat that you hang out with all the time and don’t care about acting so ladylike around was that hot hunk who saved you before! oliver’s so amused and never letting her live it down.

for the line ‘i’m not interested in asking you about a decision you’ve made since you arrived here’: the decision mentioned is mc’s promise not to fall in love & to go home. i think oliver would be one of those routes where he falls for her but wants her to go home anyway, but the difference in his route is that he’s very adamant to make her leave. maybe thinking along the lines of ‘i don’t want you to end up like me’ or something. idk. idk what i’m trying to type at this point, lol.

just some random thought, but i do hope ikerev artist tcg someday draws mc in the game outfits / hairstyles bc she’s actually rly pretty. the description of mc’s outfits / fashion of part 4 of the fic was out of me just staring at the my closet portion of the game. don’t ask - i like the hc of oliver & mc having elegant wardrobes / fashion sense, and since i’m too lazy to check up 19th century london fashion trends...

sep 28 // collar x malice

haunted by something still alive was the result of me thinking about guns. don’t ask me either. maybe it’s also a result of me wanting to write something else that isn’t from my horrendous drafts folder lol.

these were actually nice drabble practices, and the first one i clearly had i mind was shiraishi’s. i honestly think it would be fitting, probably around the start of the route where they haven’t got to know each other so well.

from there on i tried to do the drabbles in the route order i did when i played the game, which was mineo - sasazuka - okazaki - shiraishi - yanagi. but tbh when i was writing it became shiraishi - mineo - yanagi - sasazuka - yanagi again - okazaki, lol. i rewrote yanagi’s and okazaki’s three times.

subtitles have their respective mathematical operations on it - i find it kind of cool and funny that those are their symbols (amnesia had the card suits), but when you do think of it properly, it does relate to their characters.

... never forget that hoshino ichika is canonically good with guns.

sep 28 // ikerev

in absence of glass slippers as stated was a part of one of my first ikerev drafts. still a draft until now, but the portion i posted is one of the ‘finished’ sections of the fic.

i don’t headcanon mc as a respectable lady from a equally respectable house or her being a well-off girl, but i like the concept of her being a self-taught lady of society aka she learned stuff like manners, dancing, and etc. out of curiosity or for more practical reasons like fitting in. 19th century london is still the victorian era, so social class and propriety was still a thing.

her taking off her shoes to practice dancing with ray is a sort of a challenge, actually... his measure of improvement will be based on the times that he steps on her feet / how many blisters her feet would gain by the end of the session, lolol - that’s why she says that stepping on a rock is the least of her problems. pretty hardcore, isn’t she?

thus the title actually - glass slippers (mary janes actually) are pretty delicate, but don’t you think a lady’s foot is much more delicate?

with ray’s fic up, i’ve officially written a piece for all of the black army men! nice.

sep 29 // ikerev

neither heaven or hell is holy shit, an mc-centered fic! hella rad - i was half thinking to classify it as a drabble, but since i decided that drabbles are pieces that i may get back on, i kept it as a full fic instead since i’m happy with how it turned out.

all of my screamings are in the tags, so i don’t have much to add besides that lol. however, the writing here is pretty different, and that’s because i was trying to do a three sentence fic challenge kind of thing. buuuuut it became three paragraphs with three lengthy sentences instead lol.

also, there’s some stuff highlighting mc’s london-er/english-ness. washing powder is the british term for laundry soap. 19th century roofs for royals were usually panels, and wooden beams for commoners. different as chalk and cheese is a british expression. i’m certainly not british but i just like emphasizing the fact that mc is of another culture/world, thus there should be differences in how she perceives things / her mannerisms & actions / her way of speech. i’ve been conscious of that in all of my fics involving her.

actually, i do make it a point to watch her way of speaking. i really like the polite way of speaking of 19th century britain (and also of today), so i try to integrate that despite the fact that i’m not british myself lol. it’s hard to fully convey it, but i try with hoping that it doesn’t seem too off. i should probably look for more references to practice it.

this was a very spontaneous piece with actually minor editing involved, and i’m pretty proud of how it turned out.

#rundown.txt #oh this is certainly longer than i intended it to be #oh well thank you to those who reads these ramblings of mine tho!

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roses-are-blue16 · 5 years

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Novels-Random order

Novelupdates.com for more info about anything -> Back to Masterpost

Fave: 5/5

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Historical, Mystery, Romance, Shounen Ai/Yaoi Other Unofficial tags: Smart Protagonist, Shameless Protagonist, Smart ML, Love interest falls first, Devoted Love Interest, beautiful couple, power couple, wuxia, interesting supporting characters

Status: Ongoing

Art: 1 2 3 4 5

Other things: there is an Manhua & Donghua out, all posts tagged by name here

Official Summary: As the grandmaster who founded demonic cultivation, Wei WuXian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his dearest shidi and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him.He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clan and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the sects—Lan WangJi, his archenemy.This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children. From the mutual flirtation along the way, Wei WuXian slowly realizes that Lan WangJi, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei WuXian than he is letting on…

My Thoughts: First chinese novel I stumbled upon and I fell in love with. To me everything about this story is absolutely perfect, from characters, to plot, romance, mystery and worldbuilding...everything was so unique and beautiful. And the translation group Exiled Rebels does an excellent job portraying it in english as best they can. There are some hurdles tho: for example if you haven’t read any chinese novels before you have to adjust to terminology a lot- especially names (everyone has like three names). So if you’re like me who stumbled into it with no idea what expect you’ll probably get confused a lot but if you stick out you’ll get used to it and rereading the first few chapters later after adjusting is probably a good tip. Unlike other BL/Yaoi stories that I’ve seen (mostly japanese manga) the romance actually blends and makes sense; and not fetishized or forced, even if you don’t like the genre it won’t get in the way of the story (especially with china’s censorship).

2. The Legend of the Sun Knight

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, Mystery Other Unofficial Tags: Shameless Protagonist, Anti-Hero Protagonist, Strategy, Hilarious interactions, War, Neocromancy, Leader, Loyalty, Elemental Magic, Black-Bellied Protagonist, Demons, Sarcasm abound

Status: Complete Other things: Manga-(Discontinued?)

Official Summary: I am a knight. To be precise, I am the Church of the God of Light’s Sun Knight.The Church of the God of Light worships and serves the God of Light, and theirs’ is one of the three largest religions on this continent.As the whole continent knows, the Church of the God of Light has the Twelve Holy Knights, and each one has his own unique personality and features.To be the Sun Knight is to have shining golden hair, sky blue eyes, a compassionate nature, and a brilliant smile.“The benevolent God of Light will forgive your sins.”I must have said that line at least a million times in my time as the Sun Knight.However, the greatest wish in my life is to be able to stand before the entire continent and roar, “Damn your ‘the whole continent knows’! This Sun Knight just doesn’t feel like smiling! I just don’t want to forgive these human trashes! I just want to pepper my sentences with ‘f***’!”Unfortunately, even to this day, I continue to wear a smile as I say, “The benevolent God of Light will forgive your sins.”

My Thoughts: Actually read this years ago (5-6?), and I always thought it was a japanese novel but I guess it isn't(?)-anyways not important. This story was absolutely hilarious, you won’t meet a more entertaining guy. The contrast between how he’s forced to act as the leader of the religion- belevont, kind, smiling, pure- is the total opposite of his real personality so much so that it gave a shock (of pure delight) cuz of the drastic inner and outer faces. There’s 12 knights in total ,each is totally unique and you get introduced to them super fast. There is different conflicts that occur, that fall on Grisia’s ( the mc) shoulder to solve as he is the leader and while it starts off lighthearted, in the end some serious stuff occurs. This is a very warm hearted story about brotherhood i think overall. (Also heard that Grisia falls into the legendary trinity of shameless protagonist: Wei Wuxian from GDC is one of them and I agree lol). Very unique storytelling, it twists all kinds of classic tropes and plays with them, overall a very fun read.

3. Eight Treasures Trousseau

Genre: Historical, Josei, Romance, Drama Other Unofficial Tags: Arranged Marriage, Calm/Lazy Protagonist, Ambitious ML, Politics, Power Couple, Royalty, Doting Love Interest, Beautiful Couple

Status: Complete

Official Summary: Everyone in the City of Jing thinks that bestowment of marriage between Xian Junwang and the daughter of the Yi’an Marquis House is to insert a fresh flower into manure.Xian Junwang was that fresh flower and the di daughter of Yi’an Marquis House was that manure that was not liked.It is said that what is heard is false, seeing is believing. Who knows what the truth really is?

My Thoughts: A really nice story set in Ancient China, and in my opinion the best one written. The story has both the female lead and male lead on pretty equal field in terms of their relationship, you won’t see any weak-willed person in this couple. This story also portrayed realistically the difficulties of living in Ancient China as a woman, by showing us many different kinds of people. The villains make you feel complicated emotions even when you hate them, which shows you great storytelling. No-one is excessively stupid and the mc is just stomping over them with her “cleverness” in this story which I liked. The MC is actually very lazy and this gave the story a very relaxed feel, which lead to time just flying by. I’ve just recently reread it which rare for me to do.

4. A Slight Smile is Very Charming -Side Stories

Genre: Romance, Comedy,Josei,School Life, Slice of Life Other Unofficial Tags: MMORPG, Gamers, College/University, Power Couple, Beautiful Female Lead, Handsome Male Lead, Smart Couple

Status: Complete

Other things: Adapted to a drama: Love 020

Official Summary:What is it that makes a man fall in love with a woman at first sight? Appearance? Aura? Wealth? NO, when campus prince and gaming expert, student Xiao Nai first saw Bei Wei Wei, what made him fall in love was not her extraordinary beauty; but her slim and slender fingers that were flying across the keyboard and her calm and composed manner!!! Embarrassing, no?At the same time, gaming expert Bei Wei Wei was on the computer methodically commanding a guild war, and won a perfect and glorious victory despite being at a disadvantage; completely unaware of the fact that cupid is nearby.Soon after basketball player; swimmer; all-around excellent student; and game company president, Xiao Nai, uses tactics both on- and offline to capture this beauty’s heart. Therefore this romance slowly bloomed.

My Thoughts: This is a very quick, lighthearted story. It gets straight to the point with no drama, if you just want a nice, quick romance to read then I highly recommend. When I was debating whether to read it or not, one of the reviewers on novelupdates said it had a drama, and I usually hate drama’s but they recommended it, so I went to check it out before I started reading and I surprisingly loved it. I usually hate cheesy but they managed to pull it off real well, so I was squealing and cringing at the same time (lol), it’s probably because the actors are really good looking so you can’t help but let it slide. The drama added some drama not a lot but some to the story. When I went back and read the novel I realized how quick it was compared to the drama. I recommended both honestly, if you’re looking for some fun.

5. Rebirth of a SuperModel

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi Other Unofficial Tags: ShowBiz, Transmigration, Black-Belly Protagonist, Love Interest Falls First, Clever Couple, Talented Couple, Power Couple, Celebrities, Acting, Media

Status: Complete

Official Summary: In his past life, Ming Yu struggled in the European and United States fashion circles, eventually becoming the well deserved king of the catwalk.After dying from a serious illness and being reborn, Ming Yu was surprised to find: Huaxia stars shone brightly, there were successful names everywhere!In this better world, on a more vigorous and brilliant stage, the first supermodel tries to reproduce the glory of another world! Interviewer: May I ask Mr Xi, this year Ming Yu said he would surpass you. As the number one global supermodel, what is your opinion on this? Xi Ze: This is a bad question. My family has very strict rules. Home Owner Ming Yu: ……. The pair of black-hearted husbands will sweep the fashion industry, conquering the world.

My Thoughts: A really fresh story, I never got bored. It focuses more on the MC and his rise as a supermodel, and sprinkles in the romance with ML. While reading it (before it got completed), it felt like me and other readers were cheering on the MC as fans as well, which was a lot of fun. I’ve read some other showbiz transmigration stories but I got annoyed or bored real fast, this one I found real fun, no matter how many days until the next chapter you could pick it up and feel happy. Some things people might not like: there a lot of photoshoot scenes (he is a model) so some might get tired of that, but they go by pretty quick. While MC was the number one model in his old world, it doesn’t make him OP, he has his own flaws and he grows a lot which makes him more interesting.

6. Sansheng, Wangchuan Wu Shang

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Josei, Romance, Supernatural, Tragedy Other Unofficial Tags: Goddess, Gods, Mythology, Heavenly Tribulations, Honest Protagonist, Protagonist loyal to Love Interest, Reincarnation, Beautiful Couple

Status: Complete

Official Summary: This is a story that follows the courtship between a stone from Hell and a god from Heaven that begins in the underworld and spans for three lifetimes in the mortal realm.

My Thoughts: Honestly was suprised how much I liked it. Despite the MC being naive, and ready to throw it all away for the ML, you can’t hate her. This a very fast story (about 15 chapter and 3 bonus stories), which adds to its charm. If it was longer I might have not liked it as much. There are overwhelmingly positive reviews about this story on novel updates which made me give this story a chance and I agree with them. If you like romance definitely check this out.

6. The Earth is Online

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, Psychological, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, Shounen Ai/Yaoi Other Unofficial Tags: Game Elements, Thriller, Survival Game, Special Abilities, Calm Protagonist, Clever Protagonist, Slow Romance, Modern Day

Status: Complete

Official Summary: Six months ago, tens of thousands of black phantom towers appeared all over the world, floating above the cities. Chemists, physicists, religious people… all of them could do nothing.Six months later, people became used to the towers and no longer paid them attention.One day, Tang Mo saw a flying insect crash into it instead of going through it. The next day, a sharp and clear child-like voice issued an announcement to all humans. “Ding dong! November 15th, 2017. The earth is online.” The black tower’s three iron-clad rules: 1. Everything is explained by the black tower. 2. 6 o’clock to 18 o’clock is the game time. 3. All players, please strive to attack the tower.

My Thoughts: You won’t find a story more unique than this. I doubt there’s anything similar to this story. Something that might come close might be the manga Tomodachi Game, but that's only the doing games for survival bit. I don’t know how the author came up with this, the games are so smart, that you may feel like you’re getting smarter by the end of it or that you’re IQ is hopelessly low. And it’s not the fact that rules are ridiculous and don't follow logic either, when the answers are revealed they make sense.. Honestly reading this I’m glad something like (probably ;) ) won’t happen because I doubt I would survive. I have a real admiration for the author for coming up with this. The story is good at keeping you wary and on edge that something is going to happen at any moment. Some issues?: The romance was so so slow burning that it became a background character, and there wasn’t a big payoff moment like the author gave us this weird analogy when they finally did the deed, that I was burning with indignation, just thinking about it pisses me off, but it probably has to do with the censorship in china. Also there were too much straight explanations that kinda got annoying but could be ignored. I think with how well the author set up the survival element that you could ignore the flaws pretty quickly. So glad I found this novel.

7. Quickly Wear the Face of the Devil - Side Stories

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Romance, Sci-Fi, Yaoi Other Unofficial Tags: Acting, Apocalypse, Artificial Intelligence, Episodic, Mob Protagonist, System, Virtual Reality, Cunning Protagonist, Devoted Love Interest, Possessive Characters, Hacker

Status: Complete

Official Summary: A top hacker was chosen by the Lord God to be reborn into countless worlds, always as an expendable villain.With no free will, every world became a dead end. Every one of his lives ended tragically. Finally, after wresting control of the Villain System, this ace hacker decided to enact revenge. Even if his very bones were rotten, he’d choose to occupy the very heights of morality, if only on the surface.Thus, he would change his fate as an abused slag.

My Thoughts: If you’re on novelupdates you’ll hear about this story at some point, it has become infamous on the site. And for good reason, this is the top written System transmigration into multiple world stories, or just system stories. There a multiple worlds and each one has it’s own flavor you’ll definitely have your favorites. It’s a very fun story to read and if you’re new to system stories like I was when I read this, you’ll inevitably compare all others to this one.

8. The Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage

Genre: Historical, Josei, Martial Arts, Mature, Romance Other Unofficial Tags: Betrayal, Politics, Military, Royalty, Scheming, Revenge, Beautiful Female Lead, Handsome Male Lead, Cunning Couple, Slow Romance

Status: Ongoing

Official Summary: Shen Miao, the Di daughter of a military lineage, pure, amiable, quiet and yielding, foolishly in love with Prince Ding, threw herself into the role of a wife. After assisting her husband for six years, she finally became the mother of the world (Empress).She accompanied him to fight for the country, flourished the country’s territory, took risks to become a hostage in another country. When she returned five years later, there was no place for her in the Inner Palace.The beauty in his arms smiled brightly, “Older sister, the country is stabilized so, you should retire.”Her daughter met with a violent death and her son the Crown Prince was deposed. Her Shen family who sacrificed themselves for the country and the Emperor, not a single one of them were lucky enough to escape. With the change of one dynasty, everything was overturned. Her clan perished and she had to mourn for her children.Shen Miao never thought that being a married couple who have gone through trials and tribulations and mutually assisted each other was just a stage joke to him! He said, “Seeing that you have followed Zhen for twenty years, Zhen will grant you an intact corpse. You should thank this kindness.”Under the three Chi (1 chi = 1/3 meter) of white silk, Shen Miao made a malicious vow: In the time to come, she will take part in each and everyone’s end!Upon rebirth, she returned to the time when she was fourteen, when the tragedy had yet to occur, her family was still alive and she was still the pure, amiable, quiet and yielding Di daughter of a military lineage. Relatives hiding a black heart, Elder and younger (female) cousins are ruthless and malicious, the new Yiniang is like a tiger watching its prey and the disreputable man who wants to repeat the events?Her family must be protected, the huge enmity must be avenged, the Imperial seat of the country must also be a part of the trophy. In this lifetime, let’s see who can beat the others!

My Thoughts: I’ve tired to read numerous novels with the reincarnating to get revenge trope and I’ve never been able to complete them for variety of reasons but ultimately it’s because they end up sucking. This novel however is like a ray of light for this trope. Whatever way you think she’s gonna resolve something you’ll never guess right. I’m always pleasantly suprised. That’s something I can say for the whole novel it’s always surprising even with the current chapters with story almost at a close we readers just got shocked yet again. You’ll definitely experience a variety of emotions watching the story unfold, right now I’m pulling a napkin between my teeth (please author put us out of this misery already T.T). I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Great:

Everyone Thinks that I Like Him

Genre: Comedy, Romance, School Life, Shounen Ai/Yaoi Other Unofficial Tags: Uni, Dense Protagonist, Slow Romance

Status: Complete

Official Summary: From infancy to maturity, what Ye Zhou dislikes the most was “two”.The reasons were: he was ranked second at home, he had been forever ranked second at school, no matter how diligently he worked and tried, he couldn’t shake off that “second” curse. What was more exasperating was that, at University, not only was he ranked second, but even his appearance that he was proud of had to be classified as second best! Why can’t I obtain the first place!The eternal second will rise!Then, Ye Zhou, after his vigorous efforts finally rises and the result was… the first became his boyfriend.This is the story of a man who has been forced to be “second” and how he became the first, most popular.Protagonists: Ye Zhou, Shang Jin.

My Thoughts: Cute, Fluffy, Funny. As you can see there is no drama tag so if you’re looking for an explosive story this is not it. But it is a very realistic story especially in regards to the acceptance of the couple how it differs for the younger generation vs. the older generation. The story is very natural and the characters believable. If you a cute story this is it.

2. Empress with no Virtue

Genre: Adult, Comedy, Drama, Josei, Mature, Romance, Smut Other Unofficial Tags: Arranged Marriage, Bickering Couple, Politics, Misunderstandings, Politics, Royalty, Imperial Harem, Power Couple,

Status: Complete

Official Summary: The free-spirited and brutally honest Ye Zhen Zhen was unwillingly chosen as Empress to the playboy Emperor Ji Wu Jiu. Their very first wedding night, she kicked the Emperor down from their bed and he sought out his concubine instead. This completely disastrous start was only the beginning of their eventful life together.

My Thoughts: Although not especially memorable, I enjoyed reading it. It was fun watching the couple act petty to one another. Honestly their relationship reminded me of boys pulling on pigtails to get the attention of their crush. There are a lot of funny and fluffy interactions, made for a fun read.

tbc.... Posted 2/13/19

#check out novelupdates for more details for more details and reviews #in no particular order but my feelings #novels #Mo Dao Zu Shi #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #legend of the sun knight #eight treasures trousseau #novelupdates #quickly wear the face of the devil #the earth is online #empress with no virtue #the rebirth of the malicious empress of military linage #rebirth of supermodel #novel #recc #recommended #updated 2/13/19 #my post #chinese novels

14 notes · View notes

f-l-writes · 6 years

Text

Reignited

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 6531

Hope you enjoy and feel free to request

Note: I had enjoyed working on this one so I hope you guys enjoy. Also, as a random fact, I love Bang Chan with my heart and soul lol.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Shawn. You can’t just bail on me the last second!” you snapped at him, doing your best to keep your voice down as you looked at the German-American man, arms crossed over your chest and your eyes narrowed at him angrily as you spoke.

He had decided that, on the night of a very important gig, he was going to back out on you. The night that the two of you planned on going up to play for a live and full house instead of just passing discs to the managers to play throughout the night, he bailed on you.

“Y/N, you know my girlfriend comes first. She got hurt today while at work and I need to be there to take care of her,” he said, keeping his tone as level as possible.

As you tried to keep your breathing under control and tried to keep yourself from getting too worked up, you began to scratch at the back of your hand. It was a habit of sorts. It happened usually whenever you were getting anxious or over emotional about things but you found that it helped keep you level despite the pain that sometimes came with it.

“Fine. I’ll play alone. I’m not losing this opportunity to get my name out there because of your girlfriend,” you ground out, venom dripping from every word.

“You never used to be so horrible,” Shawn observed, crossing his arms.

“Because I’ve been letting you slide on missing the last three fucking shows and having to disappoint a crowd! I’m done fucking waiting for you, Shawn! I’m done waiting on your needy little fucking girlfriend!” you shouted this time, now using your hands as motion gestures to get your anger across if your voice wasn’t doing it.

“You know what, fuck off. I’m done playing around with this shit. We’re not going to get big. We’re gonna be stuck doing fucking bar gigs and underground clubs. I’m done with this. I can handle you insulting me, but you’re not gonna talk about my girlfriend like that,” he responded, his own anger seeping into his voice.

“Wouldn’t have to if it wasn’t the truth, Madej. She’s a clingy little-”

“Y/N, you should take a step out from back here for now. Go outside, get some air and calm down before things escalate. Shawn, I think it’s time for you to go. They’ll find someone to replace you,” the bar owner interrupted, hoping that the two wouldn’t have a run in outside.

With that, the two went through two separate exits; Shawn through the back one and you walking out into the main part of the bar you were in and stepping outside. You leaned against the brick wall next to the door of the bar, setting your head against the cool stone and closing your eyes.

“Fucking bastard couldn’t take just one night to let us try,” you muttered to yourself as you decided to take a seat on the cement and watch the cars that flew by, almost in blurs. Just as you were about to get up, someone exited the bar and walked over to where you were, looking down at your still seated form. The unknown man extended his hand to which you took in your own and were hauled to your feet.

“I heard about the argument between you and your bandmate… If you want, I could help you?”

“It would take too long-”

“I already know all your stuff. I’ve seen your stuff on YouTube and I’ve practiced it for the fun of doing it. I also know all the songs- including covers- that you’ll be doing tonight,” he responded.

“So you saw the announcement on our channel about that too, huh?” you stated with a chuckle, looking up at the slightly taller man with a smirk settling over your lips as he looked away somewhat shyly and nodded.

“I’ll tell you what, we’ll get you set up with a guitar to see if you’ve practiced as much as you say you have, do a quick vocal session to see how your voice fits with our… my songs and then do a once over for the covers we’re doing. While we’re at it, tell me a bit about yourself,” you finished, walking around him to head back inside, the man staying close behind as you made your way back to the backstage area.

Motioning for him to sit, you grabbed the guitar that Shawn had, thankfully, left behind in his fit of annoyance and anger. Passing it to him, you instructed him to play one of your most recent songs, Guidance. Immediately, he set to making sure the guitar was tuned properly before he began to play the instrument expertly. You were amazed that he had already mastered the song considering you had only released the video for it four days prior to the gig. Not only was he playing the guitar, he sang along as well, his words flowing perfectly.

The man had a velvety voice and you were almost upset at the fact that you hadn’t found him sooner. Maybe he could be your Shawn replacement? God, you wanted him to be the replacement so bad. His voice was perfect, beautiful and all you wanted in a musical partner. Shawn’s voice had been nice, but it had been nowhere near as nice as this Australian-accented mystery man.

You hadn’t realized when the song came to an end until the man spoke, causing you to jump slightly. “Was that alright?” he questioned, some tone of worry hidden in his voice.

“Yeah. It was amazing! Perfect, really. But what about some of the covers we’ll be doing? Anywhere But Here, Heavy, Feel Like Home? How do you think your voice will fare with those?”

“For Heavy and Feel Like Home, I think I’ll do alright. I don’t have as gruff of a voice as Ivan Moody so I’ll do the best I can for Anywhere But Here. The rest of the ones you mentioned on YouTube I can do as well,” he notified, watching as your lips relaxed from a tight line to a smile.

“Well, as long as you do your best then it doesn’t really matter. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself before the show starts?”

“My name is Chris Bang,” he began, “but my stage name, which is also my Korean name, is Bang Chan. I lived in Australia until I was thirteen to which I went to an audition for an entertainment company called JYP. Went into training for seven years and just recently debuted with a group called Stray Kids,” he explained the basics of his life and you slowly nodded as you listened to him talk.

“Man, and I was looking forward to bringing you on as my new guitarist,” you stated somewhat jokingly, watching as the man chuckled a bit.

“Ah, my bad. I really wish I could but I have a group to look after.” he seemed almost guilty about it and you quickly put a rest to that.

“I was just playing around, don’t worry about it! You’ve got a group of people that, I’m assuming, you need to lead and you don’t need a side thing to worry about. But how often do you show up here? Just so I know what days I need to play for you,” you cheekily winked at the man, causing him to let out a laugh as he set the guitar down.

“If you must know, I show up every other Saturday if I don’t have practice or a schedule that day,” he admitted, setting his hands on his thighs as he leaned forward, his innocent yet tired looking eyes staring into your own.

“I’ll keep that in mind then, Chris,” you responded with a smile, looking up as the bar owner stepped backstage.

“Knew you’d find someone,” the man stated, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked between you and Chris.

“Yeah. Not hard when you have a fan who approaches you on the street and happens to be in an idol group themselves,” you responded, standing up as you took ahold of your own instrument, a bass guitar, and quickly tuned it. “How much longer until you announce the live show?” you turned to the owner, eyes showing your obvious curiosity.

“As soon as the bartender can break up a fight that broke out. Once that’s taken care of, I’ll introduce you two and you can carry on as you will,” the man responded, his eyes flickering over to Chris and chuckling at the amazingly contrast difference between your apparel and Chris’.

Chris had on a white button up dress shirt that was rolled up to his elbow and black slacks, followed by black dress shoes. He had a few rings on and two black earrings, but otherwise nothing. He had no visible tattoos and no other piercings. In other words, he looked like he just got off of his office job and wanted to have a drink or two but ended up getting wrapped up in your mess.

On your end, you wore a plain black tee under a leather jacket and had on extremely distressed black skinny jeans, ending in black men’s combat boots. Your fingers were decorated with rings and you had in double zero, solid black gauges. Under the jacket, you sported a fair amount of tattoos and the same was said for under your jeans. All in all, you sported the typical “rocker” style look.

To the owner of the bar, it was amusing to see someone who looked like he got pulled up out of his comfortable spot in the crowd to participate alongside someone who looked like they could break someone in half with nothing but a kick. Shaking his head, the man peered out, letting out a satisfied grunt when he noticed there was no longer a fight.

“Get ready. You’re about to go up,” he said with a grin as he turned, stepping out onto the stage and taking the mic that was set up. “Thank you, everyone, for joining us tonight. If you couldn’t tell by the posters posted around the bar we’ll be having a small rock duo, by the name of Northern Star, playing tonight. Enjoy,” with that, the man walked back to where you and Chris were standing, waiting to perform. Once the owner of the bar walked back in, you and Chris walked out, introduced yourselves separately before you started up, the backing tracks you needed to cover the drum where it was absent playing alongside you and Chris.

When the night finally ended, you and Chris thanked the crowd for sticking around to listen for the last two hours before you directed them to a donation jar near the end of the stage. Once everyone was done, you collected it, thanked them again, and headed backstage once more, Chris following behind you.

Once the both of you were settled back and you were packing up your bass and Shawn’s guitar, you turned to Chris. “Thanks for tonight, Chris. I appreciate it a lot. You said your group’s name is Stray Kids, right?”

“Yep!”

“I’ll check you guys out when I get home then. I look forward to hearing your stuff,” you smiled at the man as you picked up the cases that you had to carry out to your car. Just before you were able to turn away, Chris stopped you, grabbing the case that had Shawn’s guitar in it.

“Let me help you. I need to ask for something once we get outside anyway,” he said with a sly smirk on his face before he began to walk off towards the back entrance, forcing you to follow behind him.

Once you had made it to your car and loaded in the guitars, Chris spoke up, his breath visible in the quickly cooling night. “I was wondering if I could have your number? Or at least KaKao account. I want to keep in touch. You seem like a cool person and I want to let you know the days I’ll be showing up to hear you perform,” he said with a chuckle.

With as cute and caring as he seemed to be, you couldn’t say no. Taking your phone out, you went to your contacts and opened up “Create New Contact” before passing the phone to him. When he passed the phone back, you texted it quickly to ensure he gave you the right number. He chuckled when he read the message, responding out loud.

“Thanks, I got them from the President. Anyways, I get the feeling I’ll see you around… I never got your name…”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you responded, leaning against the side of the car and taking Chris in as he changed your name in his phone.

His hair was somewhat curly, frizzed up slightly from the humidity of the day. His had dark, almost black eyes and skin that almost anyone would die for. He had a somewhat broad bridge and nose that was outlined by smile lines, something visible as he smiled at you once he put his phone away. He had dimples on his cheeks and nice lips, the top one being slightly fuller than the bottom and looking somewhat heart-shaped. His skin was fairly tanned, but it only added to his overall beauty.

In your quest to examine the male to perfection, you hadn’t quite realized you were staring until he spoke, his voice holding a slight lilt to it as he chuckled while speaking. “I hope you like what you see. You’ll have to be dealing with it if you decide to watch my groups stuff,” he teased, watching as you rolled your eyes.

“Alright, hot shot, I’m sure I could pick out a few other cuties,” you joked, watching as he held a hand to the base of his throat in a mock hurt. You chuckled once more, shaking your head.

“I’ll see you sometime again, Y/N, I can promise you that,” he said, waving goodbye to you as he walked away.

You watched him go, a smile on your face before you got in your car and made your way home, glad for once that Shawn bailed on you. While you knew you would be struggling as a one-man show, you also knew you always had a backup in your brother, the older male always willing to help you out with your career option since it was one he had never really pushed towards despite wanting to.

As soon as you stepped into your home and dropped on the couch, you pulled up your brother’s contact after clearing the messages from Shawn and Chris, before hitting the call button. Once he picked up, you began to speak.

“Hey, Y/B/N, I need your help.”

“Oh god,” he responded, “what is it?”

“Well… Shawn quit on me after an argument tonight and I need the second best guitarist I know.” even though he couldn’t see you, you were smiling.

“Second best? You always said I was better than Shawn!”

“You are, but I met a guy tonight named Chris and he’s amazing. Like wow. Kinda hot too,” you said, chuckling a bit.

“Why don’t you ask him?” your brother wasn’t hurt, you could tell, he was just genuinely curious.

“He’s part of a busy K-Pop group so he wouldn’t be reliable as a guitarist. You, on the other hand, would be,” you finished, hoping he would respond positively.

“Alright, fine. When’s your next show?” your brother questioned before you began to thank him profusely.

“It’s next Saturday at nine, so please don’t be late. I don’t need you to pull a Shawn,” you stated, a slight smile on your lips.

“Sounds good to me, Y/N. I’ll see you Saturday then.” with that, your brother hung up the call, leaving you to get back to your messages. First, you decided to get back to Chris, the male asking if you had watched any videos yet.

Not yet. I will after I get done ranting to Shawn though lol.

Once the message was sent, you went into Shawn’s messages, looking through the various messages he had left you. Most were about “his” guitar before he descended into name-calling, and stated that you were a “bitch who had no care for other personal lives”. To everything, you responded in as short of a message as you could.

Sorry to hear you didn’t enjoy working with me. Unfortunately, I didn’t care about your personal life and clingy girlfriend because she was causing you to miss shows that we could have been making money off of. In fact, you costed us about $600 dollars worth of shows. That being said, the guitar isn’t yours. I bought it for you because you didn’t have one and now it’s my compensation for your missed shows. Finally, I got my brother to agree to continue on with me so, for me, seeing you gone is good riddance. Have a nice life being controlled by your girlfriend, Shawn.

Not bothering to hear his calls or complaints, you blocked his number, all his social media, and removed him from your bio on Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. When you were positive he was almost completely erased as someone you had associated with, you went on to YouTube, deciding to look up “Stray Kids” like you had promised Chris.

When you noticed the sun beginning to rise from outside your living room window, you swore slightly as you hopped up, rushing to your kitchen to make yourself some coffee. While you didn’t have to be to work until twelve, you wanted to have your time to get ready and then relax. Whilst in the middle of making coffee, you texted Chris.

I haven’t slept all night because of your guys’ videos. Thanks, Chris lol

There was an immediate response, which somewhat surprised you as you knew idols were insanely busy most of the time, making you wonder if he was actually doing anything that day.

Sorry lol. Hope you didn’t have anything planned for today~

You chuckled a bit at his response, rolling your eyes as a smile lit up your face. You chose not to respond right away, your coffee becoming priority before you did so. As soon as you made the coffee to perfection, however, you messaged him back.

Only work in 5 and a half hours.

Day gig?

More like a barista at a coffee place. If only I could be a full-time musician…

There wasn’t a response for another ten minutes, allowing you to eat half of a breakfast sandwich and drink a quarter of your coffee. When you saw his message though, you almost choked on your coffee.

Why don’t you audition for an entertainment company? I’m sure FNC or someone similar would accept you. You’re obviously talented, you have a fair fanbase already on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter, and they probably wouldn’t take long to debut you. Two or three years at most, I bet.

Was he being serious? You couldn’t see yourself becoming a musician under any sort of actual record label. It seemed so many years off for you that it almost made you frown. You weren’t jealous of Chris in the slightest. You knew that he had been in training for seven years, dealt with the pain of seeing his friends debut and then having to see two kicked from the show before being brought back.

You knew this, but this isn’t what made your heart ache. It was the fact that you felt like you wouldn’t be able to make it. That even if you tried one thousand times, you’d be rejected. You didn’t feel good enough. You felt inferior. Despite having talent, you felt like you had nothing to show off. You didn’t feel charismatic enough or beautiful enough. You weren’t anything special so you couldn’t understand why someone as amazing as Chris would tell you to try and audition.

Shaking your head, you responded, trying to seem like you were feeling light-hearted now.

Yeah, sure thing, Kangaroo lol.

There wasn’t another response the rest of the morning, unlike what you had been hoping for. Instead, however, you did spot a nine-manned troupe walk through the doors of the cafe you worked at and immediately recognized them as Stray Kids. Sure, you had become a slight fan over the night but it’s not like it was completely one-sided. After all, Chris claimed to be a fan of yours the night prior.

You smiled when you saw Hyun Jin walk up to the counter to order the drinks for his group. You punched everything into the machine as he spoke, your eyes continuously flickering over to Chris as he laughed and joked with his friends and group mates.

Once everything was put in, you gave him a number for when his drinks were up. Thankfully, Chris had ordered the one strongest thing on the menu that the others hadn’t and you had been tasked with labeling the drinks. Once you got to Chris’, you decided to add a little note beneath his name. Nice to see you here, Mr. Bang. You smiled as you finished writing it, setting the cup on the tray before calling the number.

This time, instead of Hyun Jin coming up, it was Felix. You gave the Australian male a smile and a “have a nice day, sir” before you went back to taking care of the other customers. By the time the line was finally cleared, you had noticed that Chris finally noticed the note on his cup after it had been pointed out by one of the other members.

You watched as he glanced at it, chuckling before excusing himself and heading over, speaking with a smirk on his face and a laugh buried deep in his throat. “I think you gave the wrong order, Y/N,” he stated, his eyes glittering with amusement as he looked at you.

“Oh no, did I? Would you like me to hand make you a new drink?”

“Instead of that, why don’t we hang out this weekend? I have Saturday and Sunday off from schedules and we can hang out. If you have a gig this Saturday, we can do whatever you want after that.” his words didn’t hint at anything more than just two acquaintances getting to know one another better and, honestly, it didn’t seem to be that bad of an idea.

“Alright, I’ll have to take you up on that, Chris. This Saturday, after my gig, why don’t we go take a walk by the river?”

Just before he could answer, one of your co-workers called you over to help him out. Waving bye to the Australian male, you quickly moved over to where your co-worker was, helping with a failing machine. You watched from the corner of your eye as Chris moved back to where his group mates were waiting for him. Once they had begun to joke around, it wasn’t much longer until you heard their loud laughter fill the fair sized shop, disturbing the other patrons with their joy.

By the time Saturday came, you were jittery about the night that awaited you after the gig. Thankfully, your brother didn’t bail on you like Shawn would have, but he arrived only three minutes before the show started, giving the two of you no time to do a quick run-over of things.

One thing that also contributed to you being happy about your brother being there was that he helped you in the creation process of your songs. Often times, he was the one who would call you in the middle of the night (when you were more than likely working on a new melody), saying that he had come up with the absolute best ideas for lyrics. This, of course, would prompt your brother to come over at two twenty in the morning so the two of you could work on a song.

Once your brother had finally entered the backstage area, you quickly glanced over his attire, giving a nod of approvement once you had done so. Soon enough, your brother and you took the stage and began the show. During this particular show, you revealed a new song. It didn't resemble your other songs in the slightest. It had an upbeat, slow and calm melody and sounded more along the lines of a ballad. When you had begun to sing this particular song, a murmur rippled throughout the crowd that had been actively paying attention.

Even while in the midst of the song, you could tell there were mixed opinions on the song from I thought they were supposed to be a rock musician? to it's nice to see something that differs from their heavy sound. You, however, kept up the smile that planted itself on your face as your eyes skimmed the crowd, easily picking out the man that you would be ditching your brother for.

When the show finally came to an end, you quickly cased your guitar before heading out, meeting Chris by the door, the two of you walking out to his car. Once he popped the trunk, you slipped your guitar in and closed the trunk before circling the car and settling into the passenger seat.

“Thanks for doing this, Chris,” you said, looking over at him as he got himself situated in the driver’s seat.

“It’s no problem, Y/N. I think we both need some time to unwind. You’re working double as a barista and a musician and I’ve got my own problems dealing with my group,” he stated, not seeing you nod as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Still, it’s nice to just...not be worried about how the show went overall and whether or not the next one is gonna have to be canceled…” you responded, turning your head away from the man as you looked out the window.

Your eyes flickered from one lit up building to the next, watching as they flashed by in a blur along with the cars that drove alongside you and Chris. You found yourself wondering about other people’s lives. Were they struggling to make ends meet? Or were they living comfortably in an upscale apartment without a worry in the world?

Your mind then drifted to Chris. What was his life like now? What was it like before he joined JYP? What did he have to go through to get to where he is now? You knew nothing of the idol life and had no idea how difficult it could possibly be and, for once, you found yourself wanting to know.

Sure, it’s easy to make a slight name for yourself through being a self-taught musician with some alright songs, but when it comes down to it, you’re not professionally trained like Chris was. You knew what you needed to know and while you often pushed your boundaries with teaching yourself, it wasn’t the way idols pushed themselves, staying up two or three days in a row to perfect a dance or staying up until the sun began to rise to record and perfect melodies.

You found yourself thinking about these things, tuning out the world around you as you did so. You didn’t even realize Chris had said anything to you until you felt a tap on your shoulder, the man pulling you back to reality.

“We’re here,” he said with a small smile settling over his lips and giving just the tiniest tease to his dimples.

It was a smile that, even if only a hint of it was there, if it was genuine it could light up his whole face. It gave him a look that reminded you of the days when you were a child, the light of that curiosity about everything giving you that air of innocence. Of course, with time, came the reality and toughening of that light. Between school and being in the face of life, that curious flame became dull, almost snuffed out completely. But, as you looked back to Chris and saw that once familiar light, it reignited a spark in you. It made you crave that curiosity and innocence of life again. It made you want to ask him questions about all the things he knew and experienced and it made you want to experience something new.

“Thanks again for all of this, Chris,” you let out slowly as you stepped out of the car, forever grateful about the few hours the two of you would be able to spend together. You weren’t sure why, but over the week that the two of you had been talking, you had wanted nothing more than to meet in person again to hang out. You found such interest in Chris and you were craving to know what he knew. To understand how he felt about anything and everything. You craved that knowledge like a child might crave the knowledge to learn how to read to prove themselves. You wanted to be someone who Chris could talk to if he didn’t feel he could tell his members something.

“You keep thanking me,” he said as the two of you walked over to the bank of the river, walking along the side of it. “I don’t understand why. All I’m doing is taking you out for a few hours of relaxation before we jump back into our busy life schedules,” he stated, looking over at you. His face held no trace of a smile now and, instead, seemed to be rather analytical as he studied you.

You felt almost exposed underneath his gaze, but you mustered up the courage to speak through the sudden timidness. “I don’t often have people who take interest in hanging out with me. More often than not, people avoid me. Too scared to come up and speak to me because of the generally bad rep that rockers get. Along with that, I wouldn’t expect it from you of all people. Not when you have thousands upon thousands of fans and at least one hundred fansites that could catch you with me and make up a rumor. If we’re being honest here, you’re taking a risk to be hanging out right now because what if one of your fans saw us? Posted it online and spread a rumor? You know how words get twisted out there. I don’t want to be the reason you get into such a scandal so early in your career,” you finished, letting your eyes drift away from Chris to settle on the water the two of you walked along.

Chris nodded silently as the two of you continued to walk before he suddenly stopped and plopped down in the grass. He patted the spot beside him, that beautiful smile lighting up his face once more. He looked almost ethereal in the moonlight, the full moon casting a gentle silver glow over his already beautiful features. As you sat beside him, you began to notice the slight imperfections in his skin. A few acne scars here, a forming whitehead there.

Nonetheless, it proved to you something. It proved that he was human. The stories he would tell throughout the night would only prove that further, allowing you to lift the veil that had previously been settled over your eyes by the fans who wanted to make their idols out to be perfect. Who wanted to make them seem like angels without problems.

You could understand wanting to put up that facade for people coming into the fandom, but you believed it was better for them to see the imperfections. To see that you don’t need to worry about the blemishes that decorate the skin or the scars that may be littered all over from childhood accidents. That it was normal and that things happen. That no matter what, no one was perfect. Not even the seemingly perfect idols.

“Hey, Chris?” you questioned, looking over at him after the silence had consumed the two of you.

He hummed in response, glancing over at you with one brow lifted slightly, eyes silently urging you to ask or say what you wanted. For a second, you hesitated before carrying on with what you decided to ask.

“Can you tell me more about yourself? You don’t have to share your whole life story, I just want to know more about you. Whatever you’re comfortable with sharing.”

He smiled widely at you before nodded and leaning back, propping himself up with his elbows before he began to talk, his eyes following you as you laid down on your side, getting yourself comfortable on your elbow, face rested in the palm of your hand.

“I’m from Sydney, Australia,” he began, his eyes glazing over now as he let the past come to the surface and spew from his mouth. For the next two hours, the two of you got to know one another almost inside and out. Within a week that consisted of three face-to-face meetings and a lot of texting, the two of you had pretty much become best friends.

Three months had passed since you first started talking to Chris. The two of you spent every off-day together and you had gotten the chance to grow close to his members. Within those three months, you had also gotten gig-casted by an entertainment company called FNC. Based on your research, they had their fair share of K-Rock groups and you hoped you’d be able to fit in nicely once everything was said and done.

Once you had revealed the news to Chris, he had insisted that he and the boys take you out for a celebratory dinner. Of course, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity and ended up having a blast with the boys as they congratulated you on passing the auditions to get into FNC.

Chris had done his best to explain the ins and outs and pros and cons to the whole contracted music production stuff and, while you understood for the most part, there were still things you didn’t understand but would soon figure out. Chris had warned that you could spend up to seven or eight years as a trainee, but he had also reassured you that, due to your age and self-done practice, you would probably only be a trainee for about a year or two. If FNC really wanted to push it, then maybe they would keep you in for three.

Once the talk about the more stressful bits to being an “idol” were done and over with, it was back to the celebrating. It had been a fun night where those older than nineteen had a bit to drink and those younger sat back and watched their friends slowly lose the ability to speak straight.

Come the following week, marking the first day off of practice that you got since you joined FNC, Chris had wanted to meet you by the river. Of course, you agreed to the meeting, wanting to see him at least once before he went on tour and you got back to training for debut.

“Hey!” you said happily, jogging over to him as you spotted him staring out at the glistening water, the sun reflecting back on your eyes and almost making it seem like diamonds littered the top of the water.

Stopping by his side, you linked your arm with his, only to notice the small, black box he held in his hand. He slipped his arm out from yours before turning to you and opening the box. Inside, there was a ring. It wasn’t anything special, really. It was a gunmetal gray band that had an alternating pattern of stones.

The first was an extremely bright blue stone that he had revealed to be paraiba tourmaline stones, the tourmaline being one of the stones for the birth month of October. The second had been your own birthstone. From his pocket, he produced a sterling silver chain before pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto the chain. You found it amusing that he was making a show out of the whole ordeal, but you couldn’t say you minded. It was a sweet thought and you knew you’d probably keep the necklace and chain for ages to come. Hell, you’d probably end up being buried in the jewelry.

“Turn around,” he stated as he suppressed a smile, watching as you did so before reaching around to secure the ring and chain around your neck. Once he had clasped the chain, you turned back to face him before pulling him into a tight hug. He held you close, not wanting to let go, though you unfortunately had to after a few moments.

“Thank you so much, Chris… I appreciate it so much,” you said, your eyes glittering in happiness as you lifted the chain to examine the ring that had settled on your chest, crookedly clinging just to the right of your heart. On the inside, you noticed an engraving. Twisting the ring slightly on the chain, you noticed that it was your and Chris’ initials followed by “Forever with you!”

“You’re seriously the most amazing man I’ve ever met,” you cooed at him, your eyes lifting to look at him as the ring settled back down on your chest atop your shirt. “I swear, I didn’t do anything in my life to deserve a friend like you and yet, here you are,” you continued, a small smile of disbelief settling on your lips. “All because of the one day that my ex-friend decided to bail on me for his girlfriend…” you shook your head.

“Well, I for one am happy that we met. You’ve proven to be the absolute greatest person I’ve ever met. You’re funny and charming. Charismatic. Beautiful. You’ve made my heart stop in 101 different ways and more. I’ve been contemplating on saying this for the last couple of weeks, but I want to be with you as more than a friend. I want to be your boyfriend. We can be like shadows. No one has to know but us. If the time comes five, ten years down the line, then we can reveal ourselves. Until then, I just need you at my side and my group behind me and I will be unstoppable. I can be your Superman and you can be my Lois Lane.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cheesy,” you chuckled, smiling at the beautiful, brown-eyed man. “But I’ll take you up on that offer so long as no one else finds out,” you agreed, the biggest smile on your face. Finally, the flame of that childhood innocence and happiness reignited itself in full and you knew the only one who could ever snuff that flame again now was the man who had lit the wick of your soul.

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taeguboi · 6 years

Note

Headcanon request: from friends to lovers. Thank you 😊

Here goes! Very late! As per usual! But they’re longer HCs this time!

BTS HCs: Friends to Lovers

Headcanons Masterlist HERE

It takes forever for either of you to realise it.

He’s that guy best friend who always makes you laugh

always there to pick up the pieces

but it takes a lifetime to realise it all

to realise that actually, you can’t live without him

but first, as friends, he:

helps you on your quest for a true love

even though he low key knows that it could be him all along

but he’ll wait

takes you on mates dates at least fortnightly

friend’s discounts at the shop he works at

and he doesn’t do that for anyone else

but he doesn’t realise fully either

not yet

he becomes more and more generous to you

and he still doesn’t really think twice about it

and whilst you’re grateful for the things your friend does for you

nor do you think twice about it

until one day

you’re about to meet up at the park

you know, normal sunny Saturday afternoon

and on your journey there, you just stop

right in the middle of the street

“I can’t wait to meet Namjoon today…”

“Like, I REALLY can’t wait…”

“My God, could I be…”

and you get there and he’s laid out this picnic

which ordinarily wouldn’t be unusual

but then you see these rose petals

and champagne

it’s dead cheesy

but it’s like he’s so in tune with you

you just run up to him sat on the blanket waiting

“Oh my goodness, Namjoon!”

and something overcomes you

you give him an appreciative kiss

“What’s happening right now?” you ask, parting from the kiss

which he has most definitely returned

“This…”

*he pops open the champagne*

“…is what’s happening”

and there’s not formal asking out

or even any official labels to start with

you just spend the rest of that day together

“We should so something like this again sometime”

“Like… a date?”

“Maybe” he grins.

You don’t do anniversaries or milestones in the future

because no one payed attention to the time or the date

it didn’t matter

that doesn’t matter

What matters is that the two of you found happiness

unexpectedly

congrats guys

everyone was secretly rooting for you all along

so many new gifs for me to use! it’s like my favourite way of rounding of a post ngl. wheeeeeeeeee

Jin

It was love at first sight… but then it wasn’t… but then it was again, huh.

you meet Jin and are entranced by him

but you have no chance, you figure

after on his first day of work at your place

you’re showing him the ropes

“yeah so here’s where the…”

*crash! bang! wallop!*

next thing you know

you’re on the ground

“Yep I’m a dork.”

“I’m a klutz.”

“This girl right here? No chance”

That’s all what you’re telling yourself, that is

so then you avoid him

and he clocks on to that

“oh that’s a shame”

“she seemed really nice”

and this goes on for a bit

but then you eventually get comfortable around him

and suddenly out of nowhere

he asks you on a date

and you say yes of course

but you’re certain it’s a dare from the co-workers

for whatever reason

so when Jin asks if you’d like to do it again

you humm with uncertainty

“Wow, you really don’t like me, do you?”

“What, no?”

“Why are you so indifferent around me? Something I did? Said?”

“It’s not that.. it’s… this is a dare, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“The guys at work. They put you up to this didn’t they?”

“Are you for real?”

“Are you?”

“Yes! Y/n, I like you!”

“How do I know this isn’t part of the act?”

and he’s so fucken bold

he pulls you in by the waist

and plants a big one on you

right on the lips

he’s so dreamy

you have to go back in for another

this is great

really great

you go back to his

and it’s innocent, you know

you’re kissing on the couch

all night

into daylight

just kissing and talking

“Okay, maybe I believe you now”

Jin is the bias wrecker once again guys. Confession made.

Suga

It’s one of the hardest experiences he’s ever had to live… but it’s worth it.

Yoongi is the most quietest person around girls

especially if he likes you

but you were never told this

you meet a friend of his

and she one day introduces you

cool, cool, ‘hello’

that’s your side of it anyway

“Very pretty. and charming”

his side ^

but doesn’t speak up

for years

he just so happens to be fortunate enough

that you and this mutual friend get closer

and that a group of friends forms from that

he treasures those meet ups you all have

he loves the way you laugh

the light in your eyes when you tell a story

your dress sense

your tastes in music

your everything

Music. That’s it.

so one day he muster the courage

to engage with you in a more in depth conversation

“What’s new with you, Yoongs?”

nice, a nickname

he blushes

“Not much really… apart from this maybe”

and he passes you a headphone

and the music that’s playing is cool

“I just got into them, think they’re my newest obsession…”

“This is cool stuff man”

okay

‘man’ is a little heartbreaking but

she likes it

she might even think I’m cool

and you do

and you two start to bond over music more and more

“Aw Yoongs, check this out! It’s like what you showed me last week!”

“Nice! You know if you like this stuff then I can recommend more…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can send you some links, or…”

or…..? YOONGS?

“…or you could come to mine sometime and go through my CD collection”

and even he’s shocked at this bold request

but you say yes immediately

so what was he going to worry about anyway?

so yeah, his place

music music music

he is so cool

the stuff he owns

the stuff he likes

it’s almost like

he’s you as a guy

and it’s almost like

you’ve connected on a completely different level

then you find yourself thinking about him a lot

A L O T

you want to text him every day

you want to bump into him wherever you go

or invite him out just because

right, this has to stop

you have to know

“Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

“What would you say if…”

“If…?”

“It’s silly, nah”

“Oh”

“Well… do you think we’ve been hanging out too much lately”

“Not at all”

“No, I mean like TOO much… too much for people who are ‘just friends’?”

literally though

you’ve spent every day of this past fortnight in each other’s company now

“Maybe, but… well, how do you feel about that y/n?”

“I… I’ve enjoyed it” you smile

“Me too” he grins.

and it’s a big grin

it makes you warm

make you want to…

“Stop me if I’m reading this wrong”

you go for it

you kiss him

and he’s kissing you back

hurray!

finally!

“Oh my god guys, FINALLY!”

your friends chorus in one go

Yes, finally.

J-Hope

He was a skater boy, she said… ‘YES!’

lol sue me kill me idc

your mates like the park

his mates like the park

it’s really the only place in your area

to go to every weekend

you mingle a little gradually

you guess they’re cool

it’s nice to be welcomed up there

“you girls like skating?”

“suppose we can try”

some of you pick it up like that

some of you don’t

you choose which one you are

and you all grow up together essentially

you all get older then

less people are coming out so often

you and Hoseok find it’s just the two of you

this happens occasionally

neither of you think anything of it

but you have a laugh

you have fun

practically best friends

without saying that you’re best friends

you grow up some more

and the park at weekends is no longer a thing

you get jobs

you get further education

etc

you think to yourself, in your 20s

“you know what I haven’t done in a while?”

and just like that, you grab your board

or not if you’re the type who didn’t pick it up

maybe you have a bike instead idk

so you go back there for the nostalgia you guess

and it’s eerie

because you hear your name

and the voice is familiar

you must be going nuts

but then you source the location of the sound

you completely forgot his house backs onto this place

“Y/n!!!”

at the top of his voice until you notice

you wave

aw isn’t that lovely

you make your way home

“Woah! Wtf?”

Hoseok’s just stopped you in your tracks on the main street

and you just catch up

and it somehow leads to meeting for coffee the next week

you guess it’s harder to keep friends at this age already

so why not

one coffee date

turns into 5

into 18

into 578659

you get it

something is happening here

you… think?

then you get this invite

he asks you to be his plus 1 at a wedding

this… isn’t just what mates do, right?

or is it?

best not over think it

just make yourself look presentable

well at least look nice

or really nice

like really good

…you make yourself look like the bomb

let’s see if he pays attention now

“Woah”

he’s stunned

but so are you

THE SUIT

he had the same idea you bet

he offers you his arm to link onto

you get drunk at the wedding

naturally

and you just talk about the idea

what if you’d have got together as teens?

it’s so random

but then he tells you

any guy would be lucky to have you

it’s cliche af

but

*you’re just staring into thin air now*

“Y/n-would-you-like-to-go-on-a-date-with-me?” he blurts out

it’s real nervous and fast

but kinda cute

and you butt in just as fast

“YES!”

do either of your remember in the morning?

damn right, you do?

“So what now?”

“You looked so fine in that dress y/n… you really captured me. Let’s do it.”

and it’s onwards and upwards from there.

Jimin

“I secretly love my best friend and I get jealous when she’s with someone else”

you’re the duo that people begin to get convinced would never get together

like not even a hook up

people used to tease like

“why don’t you just fuck already?”

“you know who would be good for you?”

but they stopped

they saw how much it annoyed the two of you

and actually

maybe they should grow up

and realize

friendships of opposite genders do happen

so you get on with the whole best friends thing

and this is normal to you

well it’s not unusual, having said that

maybe I should say, it’s not unbearable for you

Jimin, on the other hand

he fucking adores you

he might even say he loves you

if he could admit it

he can’t even tell himself that though

not yet

he secretly can’t stand it when

you go on dates

you tell him all about it

you ask him what dress to wear to go out in

that stuff

so you know they say

“a drunk mind speaks a sober mind”?

he’s on a lads night out

and they’re talking about you

how cool you are

how pretty you are

how fit you are

and that last one gets to him

he pins a close friend of his up to the wall

“dude wtf”

wtf indeed Jimin

“oh shit, I love her”

“gaaaay!” his mates holler

“shut up! I have to go do something”

so he calls you

“can I come over”

“uh, sure?” a confused tired y/n answers

he gets to yours and you see why the weird time of night

“have you been drinking?”

“I was, but… I feel very much sober now”

“Everything okay Jimin?

“I… I… I just pinned Tae up against the wall”

“Why?”

“He said something about you”

“Tae said something about me? I hope nothing bad…”

“No y/n, nothing like that, oddly enough.. he said…

… he complimented you and it just…

… y/n I can’t pretend anymore…

… I am a jealous person when it comes to you.”

“You’re… jealous? Of what?”

“People who get to be close to you”

“But we’re close, Chim”

he can’t stop talking thought

“… people who get to take you out -

- people who get to hold you close -

- people who…”

“Jimin, what are you trying to say?”

“If you never wanna talk again, I’ll understand”

“Jimin, what is it?”

“Can I ask a question?”

that’ll be easier for him, you see

“Would you kiss me… ever?”

“I’ve… never really thought about it…”

“Would you try?”

it’s a bit desperate ^

but he’s asked it now

you have to think about it though

you really never thought about it

“I need some time”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t apologise Chim… take me out.”

“Huh?”

“Take me out. This time next week.”

so you can think about it

and you do

and it’s still pretty uncertain for the first few days

until you can’t stop thinking about it

what that kiss would have been like

you have nothing to lose, surely?

and then a week has passed

you get to kiss him

Wow

“I think we could do this more often” you smile

You fall in love with a kitty and he falls in love with you

your friendship derives fro a mutual love of something

CATS

well actually, it’s all animals

but you decided your home needed a cat

and he works at the adoption charity

“I’m quite fond of this one” he smiles

he’s just picked up the one you pointed out

usually the adoption procedure is short and sweet

pick a cat, take them home

but Taehyung lets you stroke the cat

for hours

as the two of you are lost in conversation

you don’t even stop to wonder if he’s slacking off the job

this is too nice

“You know, I wouldn’t say no to letting you visit him every now and then” you offer, blushing of course

he’s so cute…

the kitty isn’t bad either

shoot me again i know

“Really?”

“Yeah”

phone numbers exchanged

nerves hit you as you expect his first visit

are you letting in a secret madman?

who knows?

you find out he is mad

but not in a psychologically deranged way

he’s nuts

he’s funny

he’s caring

he’s… a good friend now

but it doesn’t end there

he’s charming

he’s thoughtful

he’s… amazing

and time to feel pathetic every time he visits the kitty

like a middle aged woman watching a fit young builder work on her house

but it stops feeling like that when

you notice he glances at you

he sometimes just watches you talk

he’s interested

whether that’s an interest in what you’re saying

or and interest in you

or both, you can’t figure

then one day he suddenly makes this confession

kind of

“you know we’re taught not to get attached to the little fellows we take in…”

“and yet here you are…”

“yeah…”

he looks awkwardly at the floor

“Tae?”

“What?”

“Were you… going to say something else?”

“No! – uh, maybe…”

you wait for him to spit it out

“I did get attached to [name of pet] but… I might have played on that…”

“Play on it how?”

you’re not sure if you should worry

“It’s just when I saw you come in for the first time and you look so cute and kind and…. ah I’m making a right balls up of this…”

“and what, Taehyung?”

“I just wanted to get to know you better!”

“Why?”

“I literally just listed some of the reasons why!”

silence

“but… nevermind that… can we still be friends?”

this is insane

why would he think you’d want to be his friend

after this

absolutely insane

to think

that you could continue being

just friends only

“So… you liked me back?”

“Oh my god how long have we trailed this out unnecessarily?”

“oops” you confidently smirk

oh and you’re face to face with him now

and then

the kiss

awwh

but what’s that smell??

“I still need to get [pet’s name] toilet trained!”

all’s well that ends well

Jungkook

From lovers to friends to lovers again… pfft, teens

high school sweethearts

everyone thinks you’ll be together forever

but then it ends in like your last school year

over numerous misunderstandings

you know how it can be

the amount of jealous people

who then make rumours

which can feel very believable

anyhow

it’s a few years until you even meet or talk again

of course in your youth, weekends are for partying

and you make friends from friends

and more friends from those friends

and then different people mingle

and a friend of a friend of a friend become besties somehow

all that jazz

so your group and his group somehow collab

it’s weird at first

but you’re young adult

you can be civil, right?

you might think I’m about to say ‘wrong’

but I’m not

because y/n and Jungkook were always ahead of the maturity game anyways

and now you’re in a more sensible environment

which sounds weird as you’re in a club full of horny strangers

but there’s a more positive type of people

because no one involves themselves with the negative people from school anymore

so you can talk properly

and you look back with nostalgia

and you evaluate with more open and educated minds

you catch up

and with each drink comes more honesty

yes, you actually get drunk together

that is a possible thing

no one takes advantage though

you agree to meet up to go clubbing more often

and you bond once again over your love for fun

and since it doesn’t happen that often

it’s more fortnightly than every possible day

you can always find something to talk about

because there’s always something to catch up on

but then one night you’re broke

you just don’t admit it to anyone

surely it can still be fun with friends alone, right?

it is still fun

but

isn’t this whole seeing your ex thing a bit weird?

the conversations on this night are less natural

he doesn’t spot it

and you all depart without fuss

you think about it the next morning again

is this weird?

can this friendship thing really work out?

and you decide

no, it can’t

because you still fucking love every little thing he does don’t you?

and he’s matured extremely well

he is like DAMN

but you try to numb it out

accepting that round 2 could never happen

he invites you out

“just us and a few friends” he says

but there’s no friends there

they all bailed

not a trick, just real coincedence

and yeah, you talk some more

and more

until it hurts

you’re tearing up

he’s tearing up

you’ve missed each other so much

you passionately kiss

still low key crying

full of emotion

wishing neither of you had ever let some petty high school kids affect your lives in this way

it’s kind of almost tragic

but you’re here now

you’ve missed his kisses

he’s missed your touch

but neither of you miss those fucking shit staring kids

the rumours ruined you back then

but they only made you stronger now

you and Jungkook

back together

forever?

A lot of that was probably lame but I hope at least one person can enjoy this [not including myself hahahah]

Headcanons Masterlist HERE

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