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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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electric twist ; ft. @hrdaehyun !

it’s been a little more than a week since it had happened.

seungwoo’s mind can still hardly process it -- sometimes, he reasons that that fateful night (or very early morning, depending on how one would see it) had been some sort of fever dream, a manifestation of his embarrassing little crush on the bartender. and yet... the memory keeps resurfacing, each time more vivid than before. he still feels the cold pinching his bare skin, still recalls the trepidation within him as it all unraveled in the midst of the snowfall.

he’s supposed to be filming now. seungwoo is a little bit behind on his posting schedule on youtube, but all he can think of as he sets up his recording equipment is how much he’d rather be texting daehyun. for what, he’s not sure, exactly. he knows they should at least... talk about it, make sense of what happened, and how to go from there. he’d be lying if he said that part of the reason why he’d been hesitant to contact the younger man is because of the possibility of daehyun sweeping the moment aside as one born out of momentary insanity.

because deep in seungwoo’s bones, he thinks he wants this. it thrills him, really, to delve into the possibility of new sensations with a trusted person like daehyun. he can’t think of a better person with whom he’d rather be venturing into this unexplored domain. (well, there is one person, but that involves a set of complications seungwoo would rather not deal with at the moment.) and so, he abandons his camera half-perched on his tripod, and picks up his phone.

seungwoo → daehyun: hey ^^

pausing, seungwoo starts to regret sending the first line of text. what if everything goes south from here onwards? what if-- what if... he shakes his head and soldiers on.

seungwoo → daehyun: i was wondering if you’d like to come over seungwoo → daehyun: whenever you’re free that is

putting down his phone, seungwoo exhales a puff of breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. he’s never been one to take chances without calculating the pros and cons beforehand, but he remembers how gentle daehyun had been. in his gestures, in his words, in his kiss -- as though seungwoo is paper thin and fragile, the other man had been careful and patient with him. the thought offers him some comfort as he waits for a reply.

#hrdaehyun #.thread.#thr: electric twist

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hrkarin‌:

karin is a girl bound to tightrope situations, dangling high above in the air as she overcomes the nerves which can easily spiral her down into disaster. every single shoot, every single competition. one mistake and all could go crumbling down — even if marks were given for trying during her skate, that wouldn’t be enough there!!

yet she had always been able to anchor herself down into the ground. karin can no longer recall when this silent strength all came to be, she had probably leashed it and forced it into obedience. for the most part. but now it was clawing at its collar, seeking to escape and leaving her with a heart that was pounding all too loudly when she only wanted it to be silenced.

this was no longer a tale about an organ being played under trembling fingers into a beautiful tune for a hollow hall. it was about insecurities dashing forward along with regret. above all, nervousness. as if somewhere she could mess things up further when everything was already in its own shambles. maybe shards of glass could still crumble into fine dust.

❝ yea… ❞ karin’s voice comes out skittered as if she had attempted to speak and breathe through her mouth at the same time. ❝ months.❞ lips remain tight, tone even tighter as if exposing anything extra even the slightest bit further would show how she feels.

as if she could even decipher how she was feeling.

❝ i’ve been busy…with school…with practice…with things, ❞ karin doesn’t think he’d inquire what she means when she says things but a part of her also begs him not to prove her wrong. ❝ how about you? how are you holding on? ❞

better than she had once been?

seungwoo soon comes to realise that he is not alone in his discomfort. it makes sense -- he and karin had left their story on an open end, without a proper resolution to the mess of feelings (or lack thereof, on seungwoo’s part) involved in their previous relationship. he feels an undeniable want to pretend like their last few months apart hadn’t happened, and to just go back to how things were before. because seungwoo may not have been able to find any sort of romantic attachment towards karin in him, but he did love her as a friend.

nodding, seungwoo hums in response. he’s glad for her -- life goes on even with their friendship hanging in the balance. there’s been word going around in their social circles that hers has been going on quicker than he’d assumed, too -- it seems that karin’s found a new comfort in austin, which he’s not quite sure what to feel about.

“yeah, i’ve been busy, too,” he replies to her inquiry. “i just recently started a youtube channel...” he brings out a hand out of his pocket to rub his palm along his neck. the need to continue talking just to fill the gaps of silence is too great. “it’s been doing okay, though i’m still trying to get used to vlogging and working on other content besides game-related stuff. hwamin’s been really helpful.”

i miss you, is what seungwoo doesn’t say. a look at the girl before him and the pang in his heart that follows tells him just that. he wants, so badly, to be the bigger person and extend an olive branch in order to fix things, but he doesn’t know how to. he never knows how to. this is why they haven’t talked in so long. this is why he loses contact with people all too easily. but he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistake he’s made countless of times with karin. not anymore.

the first step is always the hardest, but seungwoo pushes himself through it. “hey, um... will you be busy after this, by any chance?” the words slip out quick, like he’s scared if he doesn’t say it, he’ll never get the chance to at all. “i mean, i know we’ll be here for a while --” he looks around at the people in line in front of her and behind him, “-- but i think we should... talk. you know. properly. over drinks or something.”

#hrkarin #.thread.#thr: ellipsis

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hryujin‌:

[...]

“look at how tiny you are. you fit so perfectly in my arms.” his voice had gotten louder, bolder; yujin squeezed him tighter, burying his face into seungwoo’s neck, which he would later pepper with kisses if he was allowed (and he’d still do it even if he wasn’t). “just stay here forever. keep me safe—keep all the bad things away. please.”

the nonchalant answer that yujin emitted immediately drew upon a frown on seungwoo’s face, and he felt the urge to berate the other man for it. yujin was nothing short of bad habits, seungwoo knew that all too well, but was it really that unnatural for him to worry? bad habits could yield disastrous results, of which seungwoo hardly wanted to think about.

just the thought of not having yujin in his life felt wrong. it felt like his entire being would be plunged into a sinking black hole, void of all feeling, because yujin was one of the few things that kept him from going completely numb most of the time.

it was clear, though, that yujin’s reply had a longer elaboration to it. seungwoo held his tongue -- his nagging could come later, his ears were of more use to yujin this time around. at the mention of yujin’s grandfather, seungwoo hummed noncommittally. he had no strong opinion of the elder bang yujin, thinking of him as a figure in yujin’s life with whom he’d never cross paths, given their extraordinarily different backgrounds. bang jinhyuk, however...

there was an undeniable resentment that crawled underneath seungwoo’s skin as he listened, taking every note of yujin’s micro movements and expressions as he talked. every cynical laugh, each dip in the volume of his voice. the tousling of his hair that made it all the more disheveled. this was a story seungwoo was familiar with, and yet it never failed to bring a palpable sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. the bitter relationship between yujin and his brother reminded him too much of his own. except at least, there was a clear reason for the mutual hatred between seungwoo and hyojong.

jinhyuk senselessly abhorred yujin, and for what reason, seungwoo never knew. he’d never know, either, because yujin was impossible to dislike, at least to him. true, yujin could be caustic, with seemingly little regard for others, but seungwoo found his bluntness refreshing. there were no pretences with them, no real need for any kind of posturing. while seungwoo had been majorly apprehensive of him the first time they’d met, the walls had come falling down soon enough, brick by brick, and now both of them had laid bare their scars to each other.

(even the physical ones on yujin’s form, though that was completely accidental.)

this attachment seungwoo had formed was unlike anything he’d had with anyone before. so, yes, bang yujin was flawed and often times not the ideal person to be around, but he was the ideal person for seungwoo. no one else had understood him quite like yujin, and vice versa. and to have so much innate comprehension for another like that, seungwoo reasoned, must be a sign of goodness. even if yujin himself never thought so.

as he listened to yujin, seungwoo felt a deep need to offer him some form of solace. to tell him, fuck jinhyuk, and fuck your grandfather. you have me. the words never managed to spill out, however, as yujin’s voice started to lower to a mumble. seungwoo had never been very good at reassuring people with words -- his forte was in acts of service, in going the extra mile for people even if they might not deserve it at times. he’d been told that this would be his downfall, but he thought there was no one else more deserving of empathy than yujin was right now.

he was still fumbling, thinking of how to placate yujin when he was pulled into yujin’s arms. evidently, drunk yujin had very specific ideas on how to self-medicate, and that included physical contact, closer than the two of them had gotten before. feeling yujin’s arms snake around his waist, seungwoo felt his breath hitch in his throat. it was... odd. in the awkward position he was in, seungwoo didn’t feel like he could relax, and yet yujin’s arms felt so right around his figure.

yujin’s breath ghosted on the curve of seungwoo’s neck, stale with alcohol, but his words were sweet. “i-- um,” he decided he couldn’t very well say that he missed yujin too, since he’d seen the other man just a few days ago. but it was undeniably nice, feeling wanted like this. feeling needed like this. a blush crept up his cheeks as yujin pointed out the difference in stature between the two of them. a part of him wanted to object -- call it a defence of his masculinity -- but another, smaller part agreed with yujin’s statement.

“i’m not tiny,” seungwoo managed to choke out, still mostly paralysed by surprise. he had half a mind to wiggle off of yujin’s lap, and put a distance between them. friends don’t do this. (do they?) never mind seungwoo’s feelings towards yujin -- he didn’t want yujin to end up doing anything he’d regret by the time he was sober. he was about to do just that when he felt yujin’s nose nuzzled into his skin, and the tighter hold of yujin’s arms around him.

yujin was so strong, and yet his words suggested anything but. “i-- yujin-ah...” seungwoo had lost his words. maybe this was the best way he could help yujin out. he definitely wasn’t capable of protecting yujin -- how could he, when half his life, he’d always been the one seeking protection from others? but maybe he could let yujin hold him just like this, for just this moment. he began to relax into yujin’s embrace, feeling yujin’s heartbeat thump against his back.

“hey, it’s okay. you’re okay. i’m right here.” his voice was just as small as he felt. his hands hovered over yujin’s, yearning to intertwine their fingers together. but -- no. this was dangerous. this was uncharted territory, and seungwoo was afraid. he couldn’t do this. he could never be yujin’s saviour, not like this. and so he chose flight -- clambering back over to the safe surface of the sofa, seungwoo rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

“how about that pizza, huh?” he tried at a joke, edging slightly away from yujin. “you were the one who told me to call in for some.” i’m sorry. i’m sorry i can’t do that for you.

#hryujin #.thread.#thr: our dawn is hotter than day #why is this so long im screaming. .

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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@hrjisoo:

[...]

[sms] jisoo → seungwoo: you and me both…. [sms] jisoo → seungwoo: i’m trying to put myself out there but it is rly painful [sms] jisoo → seungwoo: like going against my natural rhythm. i think its killing me. i should probably just hermit inside my room. for the next 10 years. hbu. [sms] jisoo → seungwoo: dont worry i’d let you come over . .. . we could have. cup noodles.

[sms] seungwoo → jisoo: if my equally hermit ass can get one very hot dude to be interested in me, u can too [sms] seungwoo → jisoo: i have faith in you !!! (￣`Д´￣)9 [sms] seungwoo → jisoo: we can get through this just like we got through this very awkward phase together [sms] seungwoo → jisoo: [image.jpg attached] [sms] seungwoo → jisoo: might take you up on that offer very soon hmm

#hrjisoo #.texts.#txt: jisoo #the eyeliner in the pic kills me that was their emo phase..

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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❝ i heard breathing under my bed. ❞

seungwoo is admittedly not as close to siyoung as he is with her brother, sejun. which is why he’s surprised to have siyoung come to him with her story, looking like she hadn’t slept in days. he was willing to lend an ear, of course – from the times he and siyoung have previously met, she’d been nothing but kind and hospitable to him, and he figures he should return the gesture. and so that brings him to where they are now.

“are you sure?” seungwoo questions, not sure what to do with the information she’d just disclosed to him. he doesn’t want to seem openly skeptical of her story, but he thinks there has to be some kind of sensible reason behind what’s been keeping siyoung up at night for the past few weeks. “maybe, it’s… well, do you have a dog? or a cat?” he isn’t sure of the habits of either and if they are capable of breathing so loudly, considering that he only has a pet turtle himself, but he figures it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

#hrsiyoung #we havent plotted but if you want to turn this into a thread go ahead !!#thank you for sending this in C:

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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❝ it was the worst nightmare i’ve ever had. ❞

the frown knitting seungwoo’s eyebrows together doesn’t ease up until after junjae’s retelling of the dream he’d had ends. his nights are generally dreamless, or at least they seem so, because he can never recall any dreams he’d had. except for one. “when was this?” seungwoo asks the younger boy, getting flashbacks to the night he’d been plagued by a vivid nightmare himself. “i had one just a few nights ago, too.”

it’s different than junjae’s, but seungwoo recalls waking up in a sweat, panting and feeling like he’d just run a marathon. he’d fallen asleep right after ending a livestream, and the figures in his dream looked a lot like the cartoon rabbits in the game he’d been playing, only much more grotesque and eerily tangible. it’d frightened him a lot more than it should have, and in hindsight, it even seemed silly. but he can’t possibly deny the trepidation churning in his belly every time he thinks of it.

“wouldn’t it be crazy, though, if it was on the exact same night as yours?” seungwoo jokes, trying to lighten the atmosphere. he needs to shake off this inexplicable sense of dread, fast.

#hrjunjae #feel free to turn this into a thread !! and thank u for sending it in uwu

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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❝ you know, when a sign reads ‘dangerous. keep out,’ i kind of want to listen to it. ❞

with alcohol running through his veins, seungwoo always gets a little (well, a lot) more brazen than he really should be. this is why he rarely drinks in excess – seungwoo knows just how detrimental it can be, losing his mind and acting outside the confines of his rationality. tonight had been a special occasion, however. he’d hit a new milestone in his subscriber count on his youtube channel, and decided to go out with dorian to celebrate. now stumbling alongside his friend in the dark, though, his mind sparks with a kind of mischief not usually found within him.

“come on,” seungwoo edges closer to the abandoned building. “it’s probably just… all… rubble and shit,” he tries peering through the broken windows, but it’s pitch black inside. “i–” he hiccoughs, throwing dorian a challenging look. “i dare you.” he lumbers back over to his friend, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “come on. we’ll rock-paper-scissors it.” he raises his eyebrows. “the loser has to go in and stay in for 5 minutes. with no light on.”

#hrxdorian #drunk seungwoo is stupid seungwoo #:3 thread pls

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hrsjae‌:

Jae wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous and he couldn’t stand still. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, he picked at his nails, he was constantly messing with his hair and cracking his knuckles and for a moment, he wondered if the other even seemed to notice how he was coming off and if his restlessness was coming off rather annoying.

When he finally spoke however, he didn’t comment on it, but instead, seemed to be willing to talk, which allowed Jae to sigh in relief and his restlessness to settle a little. Jae nodded, stepping back a little to let the other come into the hall and close the door behind him.

“Oh, uh…yeah, yeah, sure,” Jae said, trying to register what was happening. “Are…we going to see Hyojong?” he said, making note that he had mentioned he did live there but wouldn’t be back until later. Once again, his mind raced at what he would say if that moment came when the two were face to face, but he shook his head and didn’t allow himself to dwell on it for long.

“Yeah, of course, whatever you want man,” he said, returning the other’s smile. “But…forgive me if I sound rude, but who are you…? In relation to Hyojong, I mean.”

the evidently jittery posture of the man only managed to make seungwoo even more nervous himself. he led the man away from his parents’ house, feet crunching on the fallen dead leaves on the ground as they walked down the street. he wasn’t even sure where he was taking this man -- song jae. all he could concentrate on was exactly how to relay hyojong’s story to the other man without, well, essentially losing his cool in the middle of it.

“no, we’re not,” seungwoo shook his head. looking at jae’s face, he thought there was another flash of recognition -- maybe he did know this man after all, but only from a distant memory that can be traced back years ago. “i’m not even sure where he is right now.” he lifted his shoulders in a half-shrug. “i’m ryu seungwoo,” he responded to jae’s question, trying not to cringe at the next phrase, “i’m his younger brother.”

the amble towards nowhere in particular was anything but comfortable. seungwoo continued to rack his brain for ways to explain things to this stranger. after a brief silence, he decided there was no delicate way of saying it. “hyojong... got kicked out of nightblue,” the words were blunt, but they were the bitter truth. “he got hooked on-- cocaine, or meth or something --” seungwoo still remembered the first time his brother had returned home, mere skin and bones, with shattered dreams like broken shards of glass in his hands. “-- the company director found out about it, his contract with nightblue was broken, and now,” he was exasperated more than he was ashamed, as he thought about the shell of a man his brother was now. “he’s just laying low. still doing drugs. gambling away the money he’s meant to use to pay off his trainee debt.”

looking over at jae’s face for a reaction, seungwoo shoved his hands in his pockets. he cast a thoughtful look at the other man. “you must be a good friend of his to actually bother coming around here to look for him. but...” he tilted his head. “why now? why only years later?”

past and present

#hrsjae #.thread.#thr: past and present

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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#ah yes lqnuest.. my good friend #.insta.#hrjisoo

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hryujin‌:

[...]

after a quick change of clothes (in the bathroom, of course, as he was unwilling to repeat the one time he changed his shirt in front of seungwoo, which led to a very uncomfortable situation), he ambles back to where his friend was, and offers to help with the dishes.

it seemed that, for better or worse, yujin had become human again.

yujin’s movements are mechanical, his facial expression is emotionless. perhaps it is because he’d cried himself out just earlier -- that felt like forever ago to seungwoo, the commute stretching out agonisingly in all of its barren melancholy -- leaving him void of anything left to say.

worry inches into seungwoo’s consciousness again, just as yujin claims his lack of hunger and stands up to go over to the bathroom instead.

seungwoo has half a mind to follow him in, to make sure he doesn’t attempt anything rash. but he doesn’t, opting to carefully listen to the sounds of the faucet turning on and the water gushing down the drain. he doesn’t make a move to touch his food. how can he, when all that’s left in his system is palpable restlessness for as long as yujin is still walking around with nothing to stop him from further harming himself? the urge to drop everything and simply pull his friend into bed with him is overpowering.

at least, under the covers and with yujin in his arms, he can keep him close and safe and just right here with him.

at the call of his name, seungwoo perks up. he’s about to stand, rush to the bathroom to figure out what is it that yujin wants, when the other man reappears in the room, face and hair damp. the lack of emotion on his face still incites a panic bubbling under seungwoo’s skin. at this point, seungwoo is desperate to see a smiling yujin, even if just once tonight.

but he knows that’s too much of a demand for his friend. at least yujin’s starting to eat now, even though every motion is as robotic as ever. seungwoo digs into his own meal, hoping yujin would lift his eyes and meet his own at least once throughout this affair. he doesn’t. the dinner continues with only the sounds of utensils scraping against chinaware filling the air.

seungwoo is almost surprised when yujin speaks out loud, addressing him with two simple words and such a heavy look in his eyes that it tears at seungwoo’s chest. he nods in reply. “i figured. let’s get you to bed, okay?” he gestures vaguely towards the direction of his bedroom, as if yujin doesn’t already know where it’s situated and exactly where to look for clean clothes. “you go ahead and change. i’ll just be clearing up these dishes.” he takes a few steps towards yujin, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “i’ll be with you in a while, okay?”

when yujin’s closed the bedroom door behind him, seungwoo picks up the two bowls on the table and carries them to the sink. his mind is whirring, the cogs are turning, trying to find ways to make yujin feel better. it’snotenoughit’snotenoughit’sneverenough, this is why yujin is so fucking suicidal -- seungwoo shakes his head to clear the sinister whispers lingering in his headspace, concentrating instead on the flow of the water on the gleaming surface of the utensils and the citrus-smelling soap coating his hands as he washes the dishes.

the sound of footsteps padding across the kitchen tiles tells seungwoo that yujin has come back. turning his head, he sees yujin already in his spare clothes -- it just so happens that yujin has on the blue sweater that seungwoo’s always thought looks good on him. (then again, seungwoo thinks yujin pretty much looks good in anything.) “hey, uh -- no, it’s --” seungwoo’s already wiping down the bowls with a towel, putting them onto the rack near the sink. “it’s okay. i’m done.” he proceeds to wipe his hands, putting one just on the small of yujin’s back. “time to sleep, yujin-ah.”

he guides yujin towards the bedroom, half-wishing they were over at yujin’s penthouse instead. maybe there yujin will feel more at home, maybe there yujin won’t have to squeeze onto his creaky single-sized bed with him. seungwoo makes yujin sit down on the bed, fingers raking the hair off of his forehead gently. “i’ll be right back -- just need to change.”

pulling out some sleepwear for himself, seungwoo steps into the bathroom to put them on. he discards the clothes he’d been wearing into the laundry basket and washes his face, finding that his own expression is nothing short of weary, as if he was atlas with the world upon his feeble shoulders. he sighs, towelling off the droplets on his skin and going back into the bedroom. he feels a sudden need to apologise to yujin. he’s not made for this, to bear all this emotional exhaustion that leaves him so empty -- no one is, really -- but god damn him if he ever refuses to try.

that’s all he can do for yujin, he thinks. try. so seungwoo tries to fit himself onto the bed just next to yujin after switching the lights off, leaving the room dim, tries to offer comfort and warmth as he wraps his arms around the other man’s waist, tries to not shy away from looking right into yujin’s eyes.

“yujin...” he breathes out, “i --” this close, yujin is so beautiful. it almost stops him in his tracks, knocking the air out of his lungs. “i’m sorry,” he whispers, “for not being enough.” his heart hammers in his chest, the prick of tears in his eyes undeniable. and yet he tries to smile. “you should get a good night’s rest,” the attempt to change the mood may come off as tone-deaf, and it may fall flat. but the circles under yujin’s eyes tells him that this is what he needs most right now.

“sleep it off, okay?” seungwoo’s eyes flutter shut for just one second, then he opens them to meet yujin’s again. “good night, yujin-ah.”

#tw suicide talk #hryujin #.thread.#thr: on the edge with you

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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❝ what happened? you look like you’ve seen a ghost. ❞

trick of the light. optical illusion. there are multiple explanations spinning around seungwoo’s head at the moment, his rationale trying to come up with literally anything but ghost. the woman’s voice, though, brings his mind back to square one. the very first thought that had popped in his mind when he’d seen… it. him.

even so, seungwoo blinks at the woman, before quickly shaking his head. “no, it’s – it’s nothing,” he replies, chancing another glance at the reflection on the glass storefront. the misshapen yet familiar figure he’d seen is no longer there. he tells himself it’s nothing but his imagination, and yet the foreboding feeling in his gut defies this very logic. “i just thought i saw something – my, um, grandfather, see.” he has no idea why he’s disclosing this bit of information to the stranger before him. “but that can’t be possible, because…” seungwoo pauses. “because, well, he’s dead.”

#hrxahreum #death tw #um ?? just in case it is triggering #also hello thank u for sending this in feel free to turn this into a thread !!

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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❝ aw, come on! it ’s just a silly game someone made to scare little kids. it’s not real. ❞

by definition, seungwoo is very much a skeptic. even though his parents were, and still are superstitious, the belief has never been carried down to him. he has a decidedly stronger faith in facts and figures, not so much in folk tales fabricated by the older generations to scare young children away from taboo practices. still, though, he has heard some bad things resulting from this ‘game’ that yeseok speaks of. he may be an unbeliever, but he’s not stupid.

“i don’t know,” seungwoo scratches the back of his head. part of him is curious – he can’t lie about that – and another part feels the urge to give in to the younger boy’s persuasion. “who is charlie, anyway?” he frowns, thinking about the mechanics of the game. all they needed is a pencil and a paper. such a simple game, with such supposedly disastrous outcomes.

“fine,” he gives in, nodding at yeseok. curiosity had won over – seungwoo just hopes it won’t kill this cat. “got any pencil and paper, then?”

#hryeseok #has there even been any real stuff happening with charlie charlie lol #anyhoo feel free to continue this in a thread!

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hrdaehyun‌:

[...]

There were no fireworks, no foot suddenly lifting like in The Princess Diaries, but there was warmth and in Daehyun’s case, there was the feeling that this was just right. It didn’t last long, it was just a press of lips because he didn’t want to overwhelm Seungwoo, didn’t know what the other was ready for, but it was good. When he pulled back, he gently brushed his thumb over Seungwoo’s cheek and said, “maybe we should go back inside before we freeze to death.”

all seungwoo could hear was the erratic pounding of his heart in his chest. in his panic, he wanted to melt into the ground like the snow would when the morning sun came, but then, daehyun put a halt to his mindless rambling with an ultimatum. seungwoo wasn’t sure if he was hearing this right, or if this was some kind of mirage his psyche had provided to help him cope with the situation. so he blinked. and blinked once again. sure enough, daehyun was still there, a teasing lilt to his voice. like nothing had changed.

well, everything was changing for sure, because here was seungwoo standing in the middle of the winter cold with more certainty about what he was and wasn’t attracted to than ever before. “i think...” he started off, slow, a timid smile making its way onto his face, “...it is a little more than a bit gay, to be honest.” the request that followed daehyun’s humour-tinged words stunned seungwoo, yet again. his mind raced with a million thoughts at once, a certain name coming to the forefront of his mind -- but yujin -- that he pushed away just as soon as he noticed the solemnness in daehyun’s expression.

it made his chest hurt a little, feeling wanted like that. in a daze, seungwoo gave his response, but the younger man clearly waited for a more concrete one. “yes,” he breathed out, just barely, but enough for daehyun to step closer upon his consent. as he felt daehyun’s fingers on his cheeks, he came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with exploring a different avenue, one that didn’t lead to a dead end for a change.

the anticipation building up in seungwoo’s stomach intensified as his nose lightly grazed daehyun’s, breathing in each other’s air. the gravity was so great, the pull was so strong, and yet the waiting was so long. but seungwoo persevered, just like he always did. and when their lips finally met again, it felt right. it felt good.

breaking apart, seungwoo found himself craving more contact, but the chill was too much to bear. “we should,” he nodded in agreement with the other man’s suggestion to go back indoors. seungwoo had a lot to think about, and the warmth inside would be far more conducive for his thought process than the bitter cold that was starting to make him tremble involuntarily. “let’s go.”

#hrdaehyun #.thread.#thr: fancy footwork #the end anskjs #i'll reply to our main thread like soon..... and the starter will also be up soon.... whenever soon will be... hh

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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odds and ends ; ft. @hrsejun !

the first time seungwoo had met sejun was one he’d never forget. a single glance at the items splayed upon the counter brought about countless of questions in seungwoo’s head. what could a high schooler possibly be up to with all of these things? as a mirae department store clerk, though, seungwoo was taught not to question customers. the customer is always right, so the motto went. and so he’d refrained from it, right until around the fourth time sejun had come around. in his arms, and then onto the counter, were even more random items that seem to have no connection between them whatsoever. seungwoo had let curiosity get the best of him, which was just as well, because it’d led to the friendship he’d maintained with sejun to this day.

today marks a milestone in sejun’s asmr youtuber career, and possibly seungwoo’s as well. the food spread out in front of them is bountiful, the aroma pricking seungwoo’s nostrils and making him impatient to start eating. he waits, though, for sejun to finish setting up his filming equipments before touching any of the food. seungwoo sits, cross-legged, consciously holding himself back from reaching out to grab one of the fried chicken pieces on the table.

“are you nervous?” he asks instead, thinking that if he just keeps talking, maybe it’ll somehow help to curb his appetite for an extra few minutes. “i mean, this is a pretty big deal for your viewers.” he screws his mouth in thought. “listeners?”

the voice reveal was sejun’s idea, a way to keep his subscribers interested and to promote seungwoo’s newly launched youtube channel. even though there is probably very little overlap between sejun’s viewer-base and seungwoo’s, seungwoo figures he could take any opportunity to gain a better following on his channel. after all, his youtube channel will be less game-oriented, with more variety in content. he’s decided to reserve most of the gaming content to twitch, where his established fanbase is decidedly stronger.

“i can’t believe you’ve been doing this for years now,” seungwoo muses out loud, recalling the earlier days of sejun’s channel. he’d laid witness to it, of course, as a result of their budding friendship over sejun’s assorted purchased items from seungwoo’s workplace. occasionally, seungwoo would even get him discounts for certain stuff. he doesn’t have the same privilege anymore, though, now that he’s quit working at mirae department store for a few years now. “you used to start off with the weirdest things.”

#hrsejun #.thread.#thr: odds and ends #rrr why is this so long #dont bother matching length sjbfkndf

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hryujin‌:

[...]

soon, he was in soryungdong. a drunk man wandering the streets at almost two in the morning was easy prey for the petty criminals that resided here; and, although fairly tipsy, yujin had enough working brain cells left to compel him to speed-walk to seungwoo’s apartment, and place three strong knocks on his door. 5503.

“seungwoo-ya~” he called out. “open up! your favorite person’s here.”

sleep was seungwoo’s most elusive friend, especially in weeks he decided to do one of his massively long-hour streams that messed up his circadian rhythm every so often. this was another one of his attempts to have a little shut-eye before dawn, only to find himself preoccupied with reading an online web toon on his phone till the wee hours of the night. the story was engaging, so much to the point where he’d lost sense of time and space -- at least, until a notification from yujin had popped up, demanding his attention.

yujin was drunk. seungwoo entertained his texts in between returning to the web toon, though his interest in the story greatly lessened over time.

you’re the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me. was he really? seungwoo swiped away the tab on which he’d been reading the web toon. he stared at the message, feeling hollow in the chest. they say alcohol was the most effective veritaserum, and yet seungwoo found it hard to believe that yujin meant what he was saying. it was odd to think that regular, insignificant ryu seungwoo was anything particularly impactful to anyone’s life, let alone yujin’s.

and now - to wave it off with some go-to dry humour, or to respond in earnest? seungwoo chose the latter. in the simplest words possible, he chose to let yujin know the gravity of yujin’s presence in his life. he only regretted not being a better orator, wishing he was more eloquent in expressing his desire for the other man to remain a constant in his life. the reply that came soon after was a question, incontestably one he’d answer ‘no’ to. he could never be exhausted of yujin. he could never get enough, was the thing.

snorting wryly at yujin’s sudden usage of endearment terms, he sat up on his bed. with just the tap of a button on his screen, it was confirmed that yujin would be coming over. seungwoo slipped out of bed and turned the lights back on. sleep would just have to visit him later, now that he had another, more important guest coming to his house.

a quick dial for the pizza place and seungwoo was pretty much set. he padded towards the living room and turned on the tv, watching mindless variety shows on the network as he waited. he briefly wondered about the state yujin was going to be in. he’d seen yujin at various levels of inebriation before, and... well. with flushed skin and a generally more easygoing demeanour, yujin gets even more attractive than usual when he’s drunk. seungwoo waved the mental image away, feeling a little embarrassed about the impure thoughts that were starting to plague his mind.

that’s never going to happen, the rational side of his brain scolded himself for even letting those thoughts mar his imagination. yujin doesn’t love you like that.

in the race against time, the pizza delivery guy apparently won, arriving before yujin. seungwoo retrieved the pizza and continued his wait, until he heard the second set of knocks upon his door, signalling yujin’s arrival. the voice on the other side lilted in a playful way, and seungwoo opened his door to find yujin in all his intoxicated glory.

“good to see you here safe,” seungwoo kept his tone dry, closing the door behind yujin. “i was worried you’d get mugged or something.” seeing bang yujin in his apartment was no rare occurrence, but seungwoo still couldn’t help but feel like he looked incredibly out of place amongst seungwoo’s mess of a bachelor pad. he associated yujin with fine silk and expensive wine, not tattered rugs and lumpy sofas.

“i got us half-and-half,” seungwoo sat down on the aforementioned lumpy sofa, flipping through the channels on the tv. “mushroom and bell peppers for you, and pepperoni for me.” he cast a look at yujin, noticing his hair growing slightly past his ears, and over his collar. seungwoo thought he liked it that way -- it gave yujin somewhat of a more rugged look, different than one would expect of the director of a company he really was. “did you even eat dinner earlier?” he frowned, knowing exactly the unfavourable outcomes of that decision. it would explain why yujin was so drunk. intoxicating, in his scintillating presence.

#hryujin #.thread.#thr: our dawn is hotter than day #bjffnsdm i comma a carat...

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hryisoo‌:

[...]

now about his family, yisoo leaned back in his seat and looked around the place. “i don’t know if i want to find them, they gave me up.” he had been raised with enough love not feel bitter about it. “they didn’t want or couldn’t keep me for a reason. they could be living happy lives and if i show up..it could ruin it. they might not even be together. i don’t think i’ll look for them. i might change my mind in the future. i don’t really know.”

free was definitely a word seungwoo would use to describe yisoo, even in adulthood. it made for an interesting dynamic between the two boys -- now men -- for sure. as seungwoo listened to his old friend talk about his new shop, he took note of the enthusiasm in the other man’s words, making his eyes light up and his eyes turn to little crescents. at the mention of an online site, seungwoo blurted out, “ah, maybe i can help you with that.” he bit his lip. even now, he still had the tendency to dispense acts of service like it was nothing. “i’m not really good with designing, but i know my way around coding.” he left out the part that explained exactly how he’d achieved that; it was not without years of studying books upon books to master the art of hacking.

hearing yisoo approve of his current occupation (hacking aside), seungwoo felt an easy smile on his lips. it wasn’t all that different from yisoo’s chosen profession, after all, both of them attracting judgment from most other people because of it. in yisoo’s case, it was more so the dissonance between his being and his passions. looking at the other man’s sculpted physique, one would think he operated an underground fighting ring rather than a bath and body products shop. that, seungwoo supposed, had always been yisoo’s charm, one that he himself knew very well. “you’re right,” seungwoo nodded, “i shouldn’t care what people think.

he considered yisoo’s words about his family of origin. “but... wouldn’t you want some, i don’t know, closure, maybe?” seungwoo tried envisioning himself in the other man’s shoes. if he found out that he was a foster child, he’d want to find his biological parents. the pursuit of truth was important to him, never mind any repercussions that might follow. “it might help you learn more about yourself, too.”

#hryisoo #.thread.#thr: blast from the past

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hrxseungwoo-blog · 5 years

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hrdaehyun‌:

“Yes here,” he confirmed with an amused chuckle, unable to look away from Seungwoo. “It’s okay, all you have to do is follow my lead,” he told him, because this was something Daehyun never really admitted about himself out loud, but he liked being in control. He wasn’t the best at dancing, but he liked to think he wasn’t terrible either as his mother had thought him just enough when he was younger. Besides, this was all just for fun. It’s not like they had anyone to impress. This wasn’t a competition. “Just keep your eyes on me. Don’t look at your feet.”

And with that said, he started moving slowly. He didn’t want to move around too much or too fast because he didn’t want all the twirling to make Seungwoo sick, so he did the steps slowly and he wished he could have filmed the whole thing because it felt magical, what with the snow falling and them just dancing outside with no one to disturb the moment because it was late and everyone had been asleep for a long time.

“Let me know if it starts being too cold,” he eventually whispered, feeling like it was necessary to keep his words hushed.

being guided by daehyun felt safe. maybe it was because he’d known the younger man for a while now, the walls he usually put up with people slowly coming down with daehyun. or maybe it was that daehyun was actually pretty good at this, so despite seungwoo almost tripping over his own feet, he was able to keep steady with the other man’s help. “okay,” seungwoo breathed out, eyes fixed on daehyun instead of his feet, which were awkward and unsure.

with every step, seungwoo felt a little more certainty, going from nervous to loosening up just enough to not feel his limbs ache with stiffness. he couldn’t help but smile as they danced. this is fun, he decided. out of all the things that could’ve happened on the day of the first snowfall, he hadn’t been expecting this. but this was a good surprise.

seungwoo shivered, not entirely sure whether it was because of the cold or because of daehyun’s whisper, making the moment feel so intimate. he nodded, staring at daehyun with a small smile gracing his features. he began to notice snowflakes gathering on daehyun’s eyelashes, making seungwoo’s smile grow wider, reaching his eyes.

“pretty,” he mumbled without much thought, reaching to run his thumb against the other man’s cheek tenderly, just below his eye. he trailed his finger down to the corner of daehyun’s mouth, pressing on his skin just so. “i’m gonna... gonna kiss you.” his alcohol-addled brain left little sense in him as he whispered, leaning closer to daehyun. “just so you know.”

and then seungwoo pressed his lips full against daehyun’s, feeling tremors in his bones from the rush and the chill of the wind passing by, all at once. when rationale clicked into place, however, he withdrew quickly. “oh my god, i’m sorry. i-- i’m so tipsy. i’m sorry.”

regret flooded his being, replacing the ecstasy he’d felt just a millisecond ago. he’d let his impulses get the best of him, and he wasn’t sure what this meant in terms of his relationship with daehyun from this point onwards. “i’m really sorry, i didn’t --” he shook his head, stepping away from the younger male. the cold breeze was suddenly so harsh on his skin, and he felt the urge to run back inside and hide away in shame. “i wasn’t thinking straight.” he wasn’t thinking, period.

#hrdaehyun #.thread.#thr: fancy footwork #[owen wilson vc: wOW]

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