I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
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how do i ignore the 3d?
literally, it's just about choosing to ignore it. acknowledge that it doesn't hold any significance and your imagination, YOUR REALITY is the only thing that matters. focus on the feeling of having your desire; after all, everything is only a feeling. your 3d is the mirror of your thoughts and feelings, you only react to it. the 3D is simply a reflection of past thinking.
it's about remaining unfaced. for example, seeing only $2 on your account. persistence is key; just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not happening. go beyond the 3d, accept that it already is present in your reality.
"This does not mean completely pretend the 3D does not exist, but don’t accept it as truth, as the final unchangeable reality."
this is WHY they don't recommend you checking the 3d. we humans naturally rely on the 3d and what is in front of us. just because it's not appearing in the 3d, does not mean it's not in the process. stop looking for signs, stop double checking, stop doubting, stop looking for validation. you recognize that it's there, but don't give it power.
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🩰🐰CIRCUMSTANCES DON'T MATTER🩰🐰
🩰You are the creator of your reality , you can uncreate or re-create everything in your reality. Your reality is malleable , your circumstances are also malleable.
🐰If you think that you have it ,the circumstances will be diminated. If you affirm that you have the thing / person you want , you can't even fathom the way your circumstances will change. Why ? Because it's the law & the law can't fail.
🩰You don't need to know how it will happen, you just need to know that it will.
🐰It's the law, IT CAN'T BE BROKEN ! IT CAN'T FAIL ! Your thoughts create . If you keep persisting, the persisted assumption must harden into a fact.
🩰When it comes to manifestation, logic doesn't matter , it's completely useless.
🐰As long as you are affirming that you have what you want & ignoring the 3D, the undesired circumstances will be eliminated & your affirmations will harden into fact.
🩰This is your world , it has no choice but to mold itself according to your assumptions.
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I also would like people to give more appreciation to the great thematic unity in all of The Lord of the Rings. The idea is “do what good you can with what you are given.” Usually your abilities and your chances seem horribly small, even though your responsibility is so enormous. The minutes, the little decisions, the days, the small towns, the small characters, matter the most. The fate of the whole big world of good and evil and languages and races and heroes and villains all hangs on what’s done by a little scholar and his gardener.
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the bridge of events.
something that most of us eventually do or have done is try to "fix" a certain situation in our physical worlds. we have encountered something very unlikable and therefore want to "un-manifest" it by thinking of a way to do so. however, that's not your job. moreover, that's not your GOAL.
definition.
the "bridge of events" refers to the lined up situations you will have to experience or go through in order to reach the physical fulfillment of your desire. it's an unpredictable process that describes how, when and where you will receive your desire in the outer world, basically the "bridge" that's between your current and your desired reality.
disregard the bridge.
can you decide the way in which your heart's desires are going to come to fruition? most definitely, you can. but you don't have to. see, you don't have to come up with a detailed solution on how an unfavourable situation is going to change to a favourable one. you don't have to mess around with logical possibilities and realistic outcomes. actually, you don't even need to be bothered by it. you do not need to worry at all.
concentrate on the destination.
you only need to be concerned about WHAT you want, nothing and no one else. you need to focus on what's at the end of the line and fixate your mind on it. nail your thoughts on the version of yourself who HAS and IS what you wish to have or be already, and don't care about the obstacles in your reality. don't "reason" your way into obtaining your desire. go to the end and make sure to stay in alignment with that version of yours. dwell on that version. be it, be the end, not the bridge. do not wait or wonder. enjoy your desire. experience it in the mind. within an infinite range of realities, your desired one already EXISTS!
renounce all circumstances.
if you witness something that brings you off track or just generally throws you off your path, what are you going to do?
exactly, you are going to dismiss it. it's entirely up to you if you use a different term to deal with the outer world — such as ignore, renounce, abandon, neglect, reject, refuse — as long as you do not accept it as true.
whatever happens physically is none of your concern, none of your interest and not worth your time, energy and attention. do not let it get in your way. do not let it affect or influence your new, freshly established assumptions. because the undesirable reality that's currently being displayed isn't the reality you want to begin with. the reality you are manifesting ISN'T the one you are experiencing right now! it has nothing to do with you. you are not obligated to accept or associate yourself with it. it holds no truthfulness, no rightness, no correctness and definitely no realness. and remember: it does not serve as a form of validation either!
do not interfere with the physical. do not intervene. do not take action. withhold from any acts that do not take place in the mind. leave the world as it is, as the old reality doesn't reflect your new one anymore.
consequently, feel the way you would feel and then let go of it. you want to distance yourself from the story that's no longer yours. you no longer identify with that version of self anymore.
"the display of the old story and its circumstances isn't an invitation to return back to it."
persist in imagination.
let it come to pass. let it unfold in your reality. simply persist in your newly chosen reality. select your desired reality every day and don't stop. accept it as true, as correct and as real. your imagination is your confirmation. your imaginative acts are your source of validation. so have faith and trust yourself.
the thing is, if you continuously persist in your desired outcome, you are going to walk the bridge one way or another. your desire is going to announce itself and you will acknowledge it — there is no way around it! it WILL show up, and you WILL notice it. you HAVE to. that's the law!
with love, ella.
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patrick, 2023
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never change, man !
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Shoutout to all the other adults who have acne or any other condition of the skin that you are expected to outgrow or "just deal with."
Adulthood isn't this magical time where everything just disappears, and the reality is that these skin conditions are largely genetic. It isn't your fault (nor your skin's fault) that you are an adult with different skin than other people. In fact, it's neutral (and even, dare I say, good!).
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Everytime a creative person doubts their right to create, a bit of universal magic wanes. Your artistic contributions to the world are a sacred act of expression that you gift the collective. It is a coagulation of pure magic & matter. You, the alchemist, stirring it all into harmonious perfection. Your art is not frivolous. Creation is a deeply human act, from sourdough to paint brush. Your desire to share your work and be a maker is not a waste of time. But the unwillingness to honor that creative impulse might be a waste of magic.
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Effort matters.
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idk why this fandom has such an issue with acknowledging abuse when it isn't Astarion but Gale was pretty obviously abused and groomed and I would rather people in denial of this unfollow me :|
grooming is also not a minor-specific act so trying to use his age as a reason he wasn't abused is pretty dumb and shows both your ignorance and that you don't take abuse on adults seriously. like suddenly cults and brainwashing and power imbalances and human trafficking doesn't exist because you just don't want to see Gale as a survivor of abuse himself lol?
it basically comes down to people being ignorant about what grooming is in wider terms. and even if you want to ignore the actual definition of grooming and how adult survivors are impacted, Mystra is still a GODDESS. if anyone is able to exact a power imbalance on someone equivalent to the traditional child-grooming that you think is the only type to exist, it would be a Goddess to her Chosen
this is also ignoring the fact that he started discovering his powers around 8 and Mystra would have been aware of him immediately?
also-also ignoring Minsc outright describing how magical boys in his village were hidden away from Mystra?
just how is this even an argument? you are simply wrong...
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Do you ever think about how the scene where Arthur catches Merlin with a dress in S2Ep9, and the scenes where Arthur is like "girl??????" in S5Ep8
that it's like just a lil bit suggested that Arthur thinks Merlin is both into men and crossdresses (which does that suggest some kind of queer culture in Camelot where gay men are known to do drag?? who knows) and not only thinks that, but accepts it too.
Like Arthur who is presented with the fact that Merlin might wear dresses in his spare times just shrugs and says what a man does in his spare time is up to him, and that the colour suits him.
He literally could have made any joke about Merlin being a girl like he often does when he teases Merlin about being a coward (which we know is just teasing) but instead he just accepts it, and still calls Merlin a man.
Meanwhile in The Hollow Queen, well, I'll let the lines speak for themselves:
GUINEVERE: He’s not in danger. He’s seeing a girl.
ARTHUR: Merlin?
GUINEVERE: Gaius, I’m sorry, but there is no reason to worry.
ARTHUR: Except for the poor girl.
---
ARTHUR: Oh, so you can go and visit that girl again.
MERLIN: What?
ARTHUR: Girl.
MERLIN: Don't have one.
ARTHUR: That's not what Guinevere tells me. So, why don't you tell us all about her?
MERLIN: Right.
ARTHUR: And why you're walking with a limp.
---
The first lines could be interpreted that Arthur doesn't think Merlin is good with women, but paired with the lines from the 2nd scene where Arthur asks him about it.... it definitely feels like Arthur is saying to worry for the girl because he thinks Merlin isn't attracted to women.
I mean the sheer disbelief alone when he says "Merlin?" like it's so out of realm of possibility. (I mean it could also be suggested that Arthur doesn't think anyone would be attracted to Merlin, but with the 2nd scene it definitely doesn't seem so.)
Especially the way he says "girl" with sarcasm dropping from his tone, like literally "girrrl" is how he says it. Like he's basically calling out Merlin, or saying that he knows that the girl Gwen told him about is actually a man.
Which I believe is why the "and why you're walking with a limp" has Arthur so, well,
like this. I think he truly believes that Merlin is lying sjhdfghsdfg Like he's thinking in that little brain of his that Merlin got pegged by a man and just isn't admitting to it.
And he's definitely accusing Merlin of sneaking away to have sex, you know, during an important time and all.
Basically, with these like 3 scenes in the show, I'd say it really comes off as Arthur accepting Merlin as gay and just waiting for the day where Merlin tells him the truth.
And that's really funny to me.
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I know everyone wants stories with happy endings, and they all hate when the main characters die, and insist well what's the point of the story then, it didn't matter at all! they died!
but.
I don't know. do the stories of those who die at the end not matter at all?
because if that's the case, I have news about the stories told by everyone who has ever lived in this world.
we all die at the end. we are all doomed by the narrative.
but our stories still matter.
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I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
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BURST💥
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i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.
as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.
anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.
you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕
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