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stewardofningishzida · 1 year

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Chapter 9: Back to School

Early post!~ Here you guys go! Also, be prepared for spooky times in the next chapter! Special guests are back too!

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*The next morning, I walk Stephen to the university’s library on my way to my position at the biology lab.*

Me: Text me and/or the others if you need anything, okay?

Stephen: Got it.

*I nod and leave for the day. Meanwhile, Stephen logs into the library computer system and starts looking around. He also peruses the library’s various collections of occult books from the mythology and religion sections. Whenever he finds a promising piece, he takes a picture of the passage on his phone to try later when we get back to the house. Out of curiosity and thanks to having been a superhero for years, Stephen also signs his phone up for on-campus safety alerts to get notifications in case anything dangerous happens. After a few hours, he’s getting frustrated about lack of progress again. So, he decides to message the group to ask if anyone has found anything else that might be useful.*

Stephen (text to the group): Hi, it’s Doctor Strange. Research progress has been slow. Has anyone found anything else?

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Trix: (via text) Hiiii! I haven’t found anything specific in particular but I’ve been trying to think of it from a different angle.

Stephen (via text): How so? Would you care to elaborate?

Trix (text): Just to clarify, your magic is powered by you siphoning dimensional energy, correct?

Stephen: Correct. Though I strongly suspect that the dimensions I siphon energy from need to have magical energy present.

Trix: Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to think of it from another angle. I think it’s kinda like trying to use a US electrical plug in a UK outlet. The electricity is there, you just can’t access it like you could at home. We just gotta find you a power converter.

Stephen: …An interesting approach. This may be plausible. The question is how to find it and use it properly.

Trix: True. I’m trying to wrack my brain for ideas. Other idea is (loathe as I am to use even a version of one) is trying to create a magic ouija board but only to gather enough energy. I don’t know about how using magic feels but you’re familiar with how things feel at home. Being able to feel out energies could be a starting point.

Stephen: I attempted some detection spells earlier in this universe and didn’t pick up any magical signatures. Though perhaps there’s a type of magic here that differs from my usual fare and it eludes detection from those in my universe. However, it seems unlikely. I’ll have to think about what you’ve said. You do present some interesting ideas.

Trix: Glad to help! :) I probably have the least amount of technical knowledge on what your universe is like based on our media in this universe (since I only watch the movies) but my whole schtick is trying to bend the rules a bit and poke at things to make them tick. Hopefully this comes in handy!

Stephen: An adaptable style of thinking. Promising. Thank you, Trix.

Trix: Glad to help in whatever way I can! :D Also lemme know if you need anything non-magical as well!

Stephen: I appreciate the offer.

Trix: Alrighty! I’m off to procrastinate actually cleaning my place by reading! Good luck!

Stephen: I’m off to continue my research, then. Bye for now.

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Tear (text): Oh, neat! You got a new phone. This should make things easier. Is there anything in specific you’ve been researching?

Stephen (text): I’ve been examining your universe’s occult practices. There is a rich mythology, but anything potentially functional has been few and far between. I’ve not detected any magical energies here, but Trix suggests that I approach from a different angle and attempt to discern an alternative dimensional siphoning method to channel mystical energy. Have you any additional suggestions?

Tear (text): Hmm, that sounds like a promising idea, actually. I’m not much of a believer in anything, but most myths, folklore, and belief systems must originate from something real–right? It’s how we get stories about dragons and ghosts from all across the world and at different time periods. Maybe some people learned to tap into those energies through time…or what did you call it? Siphoning? Look at Chichen Itzá or Rapa Nui. Heck, the city of York is said to have over 400 ghosts. If you physically visited such a place, would you be able to decipher the energies that linger there? It might not be magic, but…you might find your alternative method that way?

*Stephen realizes that he Dm’ed people and quickly makes a group chat.*

Stephen (text): Hold that thought…

*Everyone gets a group text with the conversation.*

Stephen: My apologies. Everyone here?

Trix: :D

Me: Hi.

Tear: Hello there~

Stephen: Continuing on with Tear’s answer, perhaps there may be something to it. I shall endeavor to use Trix’s “adapter” idea and apply it to some anomalous locations here. Does anyone know of a place?

Me: We’ll talk after work. Need to finish tissue dissection.

Stephen: Ok.

Trix: For some reason one of the first places that jumps out at me is the Winchester House. There’s enough weirdness there that might help

Tear: Old graveyards almost never fail in this sort of spook factor. Bonus points if it’s got a church Grim.

Stephen: Those are more typical to Western Europe. However, I would have to look to see how far some of the US-based locations may be here.

Trix: New England, Virginia, and Pennsylvania are haunted af.

Me: Look up “Whaley House”.

Trix: I’m nominating going to Salem, Mass because if anyone has creepy graveyards it’s going to be them. They’re proud of it.

Stephen: I’ll look and see what the closest location is. Thank you for the suggestions.

Tear: Of course. Just…don’t end up getting attacked by any ghosts…or demons…or deities… Hey! Are deities magic? Is there any way we can tell if Asgard exists in our dimension? Earth is always Midgard or at least that’s what I understand. Thor has never made an appearance here, but people in Norway say there’s been sightings of Odin before. Would praying to them for help work?

Stephen: Some deities inherently are. Most of them use some form of magic, at the very least. Others use alien or advanced technology beyond our knowledge. As for detecting a version of Asgard, I have not done this, but I HAVE tracked beings from there. I would need a sample of something of theirs to do it. Prayers…Depending on the entity or deity, they could work. Provided the gods here actually get involved with their subjects. I know that in some dimensions, the gods prefer to keep their distance.

Tear: Great. Fun times for me to be an atheist, ugh. I guess we can’t really know if the Asgardians would be willing to help even if they do exist in our universe. We don’t have the Avengers and we haven’t fought any wars together, so I doubt they would care much about our problems now…

Stephen: This is not encouraging news…

*A few minutes later*

Me: …Okay. A couple of hours away, there’s an abandoned ghost town with a large silver mining complex. There was a collapse back in the 1870’s that buried 30 Chinese miners alive. Their bodies were never recovered. To top it off, the murder rate in the town was 1 per week at its peak. It was all left empty in the 1950’s. The mine itself is an underground labyrinth with a depth of at least 1000 feet. So, this place is fairly close and promising in terms of potential hauntings. Plenty of tragedy there. Think there might be some usable energy?

Stephen: It’s worth investigating.

Me: I’ll ask my friend Hank to take us there. He knows the caretaker and we need multiple people to help operate the main lift to get inside. Who’s coming with?

Trix: Well that sounds terrifying. I guess I’m in.

Tear: I’ll need to make sure the bakery is stocked with ingredients and up-to-date with everything before we leave, but I should be able to spare some time to make sure you don’t get yourselves killed.

Stephen: Be sure to bring safety equipment if you’re going. Hard hats, flashlights, back-up batteries, work boots, dust masks, gas detectors, etc. Are all of you updated on your tetanus shots?

Me: I have climbing ropes rated strong enough to carry multiple people from back when I did rock climbing. Plus, a couple of spare hard hats. Also got a couple of headlamps and a camelbak that holds 2 liters of water. I’ll bring that, batteries, my steel-toed boots, and some dust masks. Tetanus shot’s up to date.

Tear: I’d say I’m safe with my shots too. Google says booster shots are every 10 years, and Google never lies... I can bring food! Everyone knows it is impossible to go on adventures on an empty stomach. I have a few spare batteries too, and some electric lanterns. Oh! I’ll bring spare clothes and a blanket in case the mines run too deep underground and we get too cold or wet. Can’t help with the gas detectors though, unless you want me to stuff a canary in a cage and hope for the best.

Trix: O____o Yes on the shot but I have my phone with a flashlight.

Me: I’ll bring my spares so you have proper gear. Also, will do a quick hardware store run after work for a gas detector. Oh! Does anyone have glow sticks? Otherwise, I’ll buy some. They’ll light our way back out. FYI, in case someone else has to go down after us, I’m putting them on our left hand side going down. That way, when we go up, they’ll be on our right hand side.

Tear: Please do buy more glow sticks! I have very few left over from the last garden party my family had. We’ll pitch in later to help you pay for the equipment. -sends gif of two saluting soldiers-

Trix: -inserts gif of sinking with the ship-

Me: Will do! I’ll buy extra so all of us has a small bag full. That way, no mistakes and no fumbling in the dark.

Stephen: All right. Everyone agreed on this? Nobody’s forcing you and we want to proceed with caution. Mines are dangerous. So, this is optional and I don’t want anybody down there unnecessarily.

Me: Hank knows the caretaker. So, he’s our way in. I’m familiar with the town and mine’s history. Trix can either go down with us or help Hank operate the lift. Tear’s bringing food/supplies and will help us with the safety equipment. Sound fair?

Tear: Sounds as good as it’s gonna get, I guess. Mission parameters: Meet some ghosts, do not join them.

Trix: I volunteer as tribute to stay topside because I would absolutely be a hindrance down there .

Stephen: Okay. You and Hank will get us down the shaft and back out when we need it.

Me: Got it. Unless there’s a closer/safer location, this is the plan. We’ll be enacting it tomorrow.

Stephen: I’ll make sure my magic still works enough to help us if we need it.

Me: Roger. I’m going to finish up my shift, then. Meet you guys in my driveway tomorrow at 8 am so we can get an early start. We don’t want to get trapped up the dirt mountain road to the ghost town at night when we drive back home.

Tear: We really don’t. Also, let us know if there’s anything specific we need to do if we do encounter any odd beings down there, Stephen. I really don’t want to be carrying any ghosts back with us to our houses.

Stephen: I’ll deal with any of that. The important thing is that anything malevolent feeds off of negative energy, including emotions and traumatic memories. If we encounter anything like that, you need to clear your mind and focus on counting your breaths instead of whatever it’s doing. Don’t feed it. Beyond that, they’re usually bound to a place or being with the right kind of energy. I haven’t detected anything around here. So, there’s nothing for them. Understand?

Me: Got it.

Tear: Alright, I can bring my portable speakers too and just blast them with some Disney tunes if it comes down to it. All negative energies will poof away if we hakuna matata their sheeps. …Dang it, autocorrect.

Me: HA! Nice!

*After our shifts end, I head to the hardware store and pick up the gas detector and 6 bulk packs of 30 glowsticks each. Thankfully, I got the ones that last 12 hours each once cracked. So, each of us will have 60 glowsticks per person to be safe. I also make sure my climbing harnesses, ropes, boots, cleats, bolts, and other safety gear is in good shape. This includes some chalk, helmets, some emergency whistles, my multitools, and a first-aid kit. The night passes without incident.*

***To be continued***

#doctor strange meta fic #doctor strange fanfiction #multi author #doctor strange #dr stephen strange #stephen strange #doctor stephen strange

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 2 years

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do you ever read a fanfiction, then a few days later remember this one specific phrase from it and think ‘that was great! lemme go read it again’ but then you can’t find it no matter how hard you try?

that is me, rn. read a fic which had a filthy scene in it that i’ve never seen expressed in fanfic before in the last week, suddenly thought of it an hour ago, and have been frantically searching for it since- it won’t be in my ao3 history, because i read it whilst not logged in 🫠

and no matter what i put into google, even in the quotation marks thing that makes it show specific phrases- i cannot find it.

i actually thought it was your fic, i was like ‘em writes wrote a blowy scene and size kink is a big thing in her work! i’m sure it’s hers’ it was not, in fact, your fic.

[if u were wondering, it was (i think, i’m second guessing everything rn) a daemon x rhaenyra, and she’s giving him a blowie, and goes to suck his balls, but can barely fit one in her mouth and the way the author wrote it made me scream 😭] i was like this 🫣the whole time i was reading

anyway, love you’re writing and the way you’re not changing daemon, he’s still selfish and won’t let go of the things he wants, but he’s nice abt it lol- u should replace the shitty hotd writers before they make aemond burn down the river lands an accident too

Haha, I am so sorry that it wasn't me - but - you know, for research purposes and all - you didn't happen to find the name of that fic after all, did you? 👀 For scientific purposes only, I assure you!

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fic - that last episode opened up an interesting side to Daemon that I'd like to maybe play a bit with, but overall I wasn't super impressed with the characterisation of the ensemble (except Rhaenyra, MY GOD SHE WAS AMAZING) so I'm trying hard not to think about it too much. Daemon is canonically a devoted father and a decent-enough husband, and the relationship gets torn apart by ambition and war; Reader's not in the immediate vicinity of the throne, and so this will recontextualise a lot of Daemon's behaviour in this fic series.

If nothing else, the episode was great fodder for re-establishing some of Daemon's more darker impulses, which I'd like to incorporate in a nicer way in this fic series. I still stan Daemon and Daemyra - I was never under any illusions that this was a safe or sane pairing, so my freakout hasn't been super hard or anything, more mild disappointment. Objectively, it was a great episode, I just didn't like the direction some of the characters went.

I think fans need to manage their expectations in that this isn't the greatest love story ever or anything - it has a pretty tragic awful ending, and that can't come out of nowhere. It's okay, and even right, to be upset - but at the end of the day, this is a GoT universe story, and to quote Daemon from my fic - "We don’t get to have happy endings, sweetling."

Thank you for reading!

#fanfiction comments #daemon targaryen

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oswaldsleftbicep · 2 years

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first of all, happy birthday! god bless you and i hope you had a nice birthday! and i’m so excited once i saw your post. i’ve been interested in your acc for a long time but i’m too shy to interact with you. so anyway,

appearance : short hair ( neck length ) with dyed hair ( white on the bangs lol ) 5’1, i’m asian and i have a warm yellow-ish skin color.

hobbies : i like dancing most likely like a pop dance or kpop…. yea.. oh and i cannot live without my phone.

star sign : sagittarius :)

likes : coffee, shopping or just hanging out in a mall, watching youtube.

dislikes : spicy food or vegetables, and bugs. and idk that’s it ig, i can’t think of any.

love languages : physical touch that’s it.

what i look for in a partner : someone who can listen to me ranting or complaining about life. someone who loves me for who i am. someone who doesn’t care when i do something dumb like laughing like a stupid hoe.

deal breakers : too needy or poor communication.

okay that’s it! again have a fantastic day and birthday :D xoxo ❤️

hi!! thank you so much for sending this in!! lemme just say real quick, you sound like such an awesome person, and your hair?? cool asf!! tl;dr you're super cool and i'd love it if you interacted more!! no need to be shy :)

anywaysss time for the big reveal!!! i ship you with........

Lucia!

❧ he'd think your bangs are the coolest thing ever they are and you'd probably get him interested in dying his own hair, maybe just a small section at first to get him used to it

❧ he would absolutely love to watch you dance, he thinks it's so cool how you can match the beat of a song perfectly and loves how much fun you seem to be having. he would also love if you teach him a couple dances, like i can imagine you two as the couple doing really intricate and fun dances in the middle of a ball and everyone around is like confused but also very impressed ya feel? let's pretend he exists in our world, he would totally bring up the game just dance as an activity for the two of you to do, like every week y'all learn a new dance; and don't even get me started on tik tok dances (if you're into them), he'd be asking you to teach him every new trending dance smh

❧ continuing off of if he was in our world, he would be asking what you're doing on your phone a lot but not in an accusatory or nosy way, he's just genuinely curious what you're interested in, and he'll never judge you for looking at cringey fan art or reading sad fics or trying to beat level 307 of candy crush. he'd be content, especially after a long day, to just lie down with you and peek at whatever you're doing on your phone, making comments here and there, it's very chill and sweet

❧ you're a sagittarius, i love that!! one of my closest friends is a sag, y'all are cool. so i did a little research and apparently sags are compatible with libras, which is lucia's sign, so there's that going for y'all lmao

❧ i feel like as a whole the boys drink more tea than coffee but i think lucia could get behind the idea of coffee, especially seeing how many types there are; oh and if he finds out about latte art?? he's sold

❧ he'd enjoy shopping with you, he might be a little too busy to do it often, so when he can't he'd for sure send some people out with you to keep you company, or if you have friends from outside of the mansion, he'd for sure encourage a pals day out! and consider all of your items paid for, he'd give you a big chunk of spending money for you to get whatever your heart desires sugar daddy material i can also see him liking to try on random clothes with you, like at thrift stores he'd wanna do that blind picking an outfit game and see who gets the worst fit. and, again, if he can't go out shopping with you, he expects a full on fashion show when you get home, showing off all the cool things you bought and he will hype you up the whole time

❧ like i mentioned before with the phone thing, he'd love just watching youtube videos with you on a chill day. i could see the two of you having one or two youtubers y'all are subscribed to and watch every single video, like oh what's that? you were invited to a dinner party friday at 6 pm? sorry, that's when (enter youtuber here) posts, can't miss that. if you're super into one youtuber tho, he'd for sure get you guys matching merch

❧ i don't think he could handle super spicy foods, maybe like something with a lil kick to it, but anything above your average chili powder or red pepper flakes he cannot do, so he'll relate to you with not liking spicy foods. he may tease you about not being able to handle it, but just tell him off, mans can hardly even handle picante chicken ramen

❧ he wouldn't be a huge fan of bugs either, but he's not terrified of them; if there's a bug somewhere that you want gone, he'll for sure swallow his disgust and either squish the bug or take it outside with little to no complaining

❧ this man loves physical touch, it's for sure one of his top love languages, giving and receiving. he's a pretty touchy and affectionate person, but not in an overbearing way. if you ever want him to back off, just tell him and he'll do so immediately and without needing an explanation. he just loves being able to show his partner how much he loves them without using words. he'll show this through hugs and wrapping an arm around you in public or holding hands while the two of you are walking and cuddle sessions every night

❧ he'll listen to you rant anytime you need. he may be goofy and immature at times, but if you show that the situation is serious or something is really bothering you, he'll drop all that immediately and go into listening mode. you can tell he's actively listening to you because he'll make facial expressions and noises in reaction to what you're telling him. his reactions depend on if you're doing just a little complainy rant or a serious vent; for the more lighthearted rants he'll voice his reactions more clearly (they said what?? no way, i can't believe that, the audacity) but for the more serious conversations he'll keep it to a minimum and focus that extra energy on listening and empathizing

❧ he loves you more than life itself. he'd do anything for you, and it shows in how he looks at you and treats you with the utmost care. he adores every single thing about you, so you don't have to worry about him minding if you do something dumb. he loves your laugh especially, no matter how loud it is or how it sounds in general; if you're laughing that means you're happy and enjoying yourself and that's all that matters to him <3 the worst he'll do is tease you a bit, but it's never hurtful and all in good fun

❧ he's definitely not too needy, he might have his moments where he's extra clingy and just wants your attention but he knows what your boundaries are and he will respect them always. his communication is pretty good for the most part, although he might be prone to keeping a few things secret and if he's feeling overworked he might get a little cross with you which could spark up a few arguments. however, with plenty of time and heart to heart conversation, this is something the two of you can fix with no problem. it seems like you're pretty good at communication given you value it in a relationship, and lucia is a great listener and amazing at coming to agreements and negotiating terms and compromises; he is a leader after all :)

#let's play a game!#my. hcs #nightmare harem #shipping games #otome games

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dourpeep · 3 years

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WAIT. I'm losing my mind over that friends to lovers post you reblogged. All I can think about is college Albedo + mutual pining, romantic tension, and friends to lovers OTL

- Leaving little post it notes in his bag or inside the cover of his textbook to tell him to have a nice day or remind him to take care of himself because you know he has a tendency to work too hard sometimes!! And what if he meets up with Sucrose and Timaeus because they like to catch up and sometimes discuss their research or homework, and they see Albedo hiding a grin behind his books and think that he's solved a particularly difficult problem but it's just a cute little note you slipped him when he wasn't looking

- You stay up studying for exams with Albedo and he dozes off on your shoulder so you sit there afraid to move because you don't want to wake him but you're also dying inside

- The two of you go to the library to work but eventually get distracted so it turns into the two you sitting close together on a couch and reading each other sections from your favourite books

- I can also see him as someone who rambles about labs or new research he's absolutely taken by. Weeks later when you mention something he said before, he's a little surprised but you just tell him that you tried your best to understand everything because you know it's important to him and maybe his heart skipped a little

- Going off your headcanons: Albedo looking for little specimens and deciding it could be a fun outing with Klee so she can get some sunshine and you find the two of them in the park. You end up joining them and Albedo's heart softens seeing you and Klee laughing and smiling together!

- I remember this little headcanon you had where he snorts when laughing sometimes and imagine Albedo letting one slip out while he's with you, and Kaeya teasing him later on.

- Eventually, his friends start asking if the two of you are together because of the silent affection and teasing between the two of you. Albedo knows he likes you but he's scared a relationship will ruin everything and you're too important to lose even if it means he never says anything, but little did he know, you have feelings for him too.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day and week! Sorry about this monster of an ask lmao

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ALBEDO

NEVER

Like... there are two characters that I seldom, if ever, turn down and that's my beloved Albedo and beloathed Scaramouche- If you don't want me to shut up about a topic??? Like just utter word vomit???? Bring them up. Bring them up, I dare you--

Okay okay okay okay now lemme just--

oops. 1.4k words. Enjoy your headcanon drabbles, courtesy of me being a hard simp for Albedo--

College au Albedo is pretty close to how he normally is! Brilliant, though having difficulties with making friends and keeping said friends, getting carried away with experiments (did you know if you're on good enough terms with the professors, they'll vouch for you so you can use the lab when there aren't classes using them?? Yeah)...so the friendship that you have with him is certainly the closest one he has.

It'd be the kind where you knock on his dorm or apartment door at 11:45pm with some takeout and your textbooks and he'll let you in without a second thought. You slip inside and settle on the floor next to the coffee table cross-legged, setting the food out as if you don't live a good walk away. He wasn't going to sleep any time soon anyway.

Like the kind of friendship where your hand instinctively slips into his to tug him towards something cool you found or to the café where you tend to go after classes.

Even after you get to your destination, you don't let go.

Now that that has been established--the little notes you slip into his bag or on his books really began as a little reminder. Despite his keen intellect, Albedo tends to easily forget things because his mind is always going onto the next thing. So, being the great friend you are, would just slip a note to remind him to take breaks, eat a snack, or that you're supposed to go and meet Sucrose and Timaeus after class to prep for the upcoming exams.

Neither of you really know when they began to turn into doodles or 'seemingly platonic declarations of adoration'. It's normal for friends to write a heart besides "Don't forget I love you!", right? Yeah.

The smile that makes it's way on Albedo's face is unmistakable the moment that Sucrose accidentally stumbles upon a sticky note carefully tucked in one of his notebooks.

Speaking of Albedo and his tendencies to get carried away with stuff, he often functions on...minimal sleep.

Those nights that you pop up at his place to study or just hang out, he often ends up dozing off, glasses sliding uncomfortably down the bridge of his nose and hair tousled out of it's usual style.

You never plan to stay the night (though even when he's awake he insists you do because it's not as safe at night to make the commute home), but you can't just disturb his sleep when it's the first time in a while that he's probably gone without taking a capsule or two of melatonin to help himself back into some semblance of a sleep schedule.

It's these moments that you remember just how soft his hair is and just how nice his shampoo smells.

Also that he's a cuddler.

You awake in the morning, back aching and eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the world around you and limbs tangled with your best friend. He's unbothered because his face is half-shoved against the crook of your neck.

With the library, you often find yourselves in a little game. There's so much to learn and so, so many topics through the old vanilla-scent found between pages!!

So trips to the library end up with the two of you digging and sifting to find a topic you've never heard of, sit and read for 15 minutes, then proceed to explain said topic the best you can (without looking!!). It almost always ends up with a few chuckles from Albedo as you fumble explaining (and half-making up) information and Albedo's (unfairly) great short-term memory winning out.

Speaking of...between actually studying and your little topic games, Albedo turns to you to bounce off his current observations and ideas. Sucrose and Timaeus, though both in similar majors as Albedo, are busy with their own projects and research to the point that they don't really have the time to help with stuff as extensive as his research.

Annnnd, naturally, since you don't have anything better to do and are almost always by his side, you play that part!

You listen intently no matter how dense the subject may be and no matter if you do or do not have the background knowledge.

When you ask him to explain something you don't quite understand, he can't help but blink in surprise because you were listening??? And wanted to really understand? You prove time and time again (even days, weeks later) that you listened to every word that tumbled out during his rambles.

And of course you do! Albedo's one of the most important people to you, so it's only natural that you want to show interest in his interests.

Also it's pretty cool to find out those random bits of trivia (like lobsters and their repairable telomeres-).

Klee!!!

Oh man, the first time that you met Klee was a pretty hectic day for Albedo. Due to his Aunt Alice's incredibly busy schedule, he tends to care for Klee on days that he doesn't have class.

However, that particular day he just barely finished class before he had to go and pick her up from school.

With you in tow, that is.

Immediately, the little girl brightens up at your presence, no doubt excited from what she's heard about you (listening in to Albedo's conversations with Alice and the embarrassed tone in his voice when he realizes that he's let your name slipped again and now Aunt Alice wants to know about this particular friend who's captured dear little Bedo's attentions). He's relieved when Klee doesn't immediately reveal that.

From then on, Klee insists that Albedo invites you for every outing they have.

The cafe for a quick treat? The bookstore to sit and read a few books?

"Oh, please please please?? Can they come Albedo? Klee promises that she'll be good!"

Who is he to say no?

But above all, those park days are his favorite. You end up running around with Klee, lifting her up so she can reach a particular leaf on a branch, squatting down to see a bug or lizard that she's entirely enthralled by--all while Albedo sits under the shade of a tree on a blanket, sketchbook and pencil in hand.

You don't know it (even though there's many occasions where he's shown you his sketchbook), but the pages are filled with your smile.

Around you, Albedo's found that he's most comfortable.

There's no need to hide insecurities or hold his tongue when something particularly exciting comes to mind...nor does he hold back in his laughter. Especially with your insistence that his laugh is cute.

That scenario with Kaeya is entirely an accident, proof of just how used to your presence he's become.

It's a late night and you're out with a bigger group of friends than usual, some friends that Albedo's only known since the start of college, but definitely good ones.

With a drink in your hand you all sit at a large table, chatting about anything and everything when you crack a joke and Albedo snorts.

Not like a snort with his normally quiet chuckle, either.

Instead, he's laughing hard, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and stomach hurting (and maybe it's because of the few sips of drink he's had) and he snorts. The moment the sound escapes him and he's trying hard to calm back down, Kaeya grins.

He's most definitely one of the first people to put two and two together.

After all, Albedo keeps to himself, even around them. But with you around? There's a certain spark of life that ignites.

It's no surprise that the two of you are close when all is said and done.

But that doesn't stop either of you from choking and cheeks from flushing when someone asks if you're a couple. It happens often--too often to count--and ranges between Kaeya's teasing comments and a few sweet words from an elderly woman passing by your table at the cafe.

And you laugh--you and Albedo--because no, no, you're just friends.

Right?

Then the light hits your features just right, illuminating you in a soft glow that makes your eyes shine and--

It's undeniable the way that he feels for you. The sudden quickening of his heartbeat is proof enough. You slide your drink towards him for him to try and he does the same, eyes unable to leave your lips as you take a sip and then smile.

Between the cracks of his appreciation, of this warmth, dread seeps.

Though...that was just over a week ago.

Sitting down back at his apartment, your head resting on his chest and your hands intertwined while you watch whatever's on tv, you shift. Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

And Albedo wonders how neither of you managed to see it sooner.

#anon asks #THE FACT THAT YOU REMEMBER MY ALBEDO HEADCANONS AND STUFF MY HEARTTT #albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo #genshin impact x reader #albedo headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact drabbles #modern au #college au #modern au albedo

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tryingmydarndest · 3 years

Text

Thank You (Luka Couffaine x Reader)

Summary (Part 1/probably 3): The author goes on a bit of a tangent about how Y/N goes on a bit of a tangent about Viperion. Who may just have a little, big ol' crush on them?

Tags: -not enough actual relationship -fluff -but like, a weird sprinkling of angst that I didn't plan on right at the end???

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Inspired by this fic by @seriously-sirius-black <3. Luka? OOC? Idk, probably, I don’t write fanfic. But I am actually kinda proud of how well Alya turned out. Writing this made me realize how much of a mom friend I apparently headcanon her as. I wrote this gender-and-as-everything-else-neutral as I can make it (lemme know if you see ways I can improve, tho idk how much more fanfic I'll even be writing). Also, I freakin' RAMBLE and overuse italics, but ya get what ya get and ya don't gotta fret. Ooh, important note for future parts (if i write them) - this is a kinda!au where the miraculous users keep their miraculous. also if I had a nickel for every time I get awkwardly specific about the placement of both of a character’s hands I’d have TWO nickels. Happy reading!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part I - Paris's Cutiest Heroes

The look currently on Marinette’s face as she sputtered out a response was priceless, “Cat Noir? Cat Noir!? What makes you think I’d find Cat Noir attractive at all? And- and- HIM- the cutest superhero! Ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“Nice one, Alya”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” you gave Alya a high five on your way to your seat next to Juleka and Rose on the couch facing Marinette and Alya. A sunny Friday after school was the perfect place for Kitty Section and their entourage to hang out. Unfortunately without Ivan and Mylène, seeing as their anniversary called for a private celebration. After pushing a couple couches onto the deck of The Liberty, Alya had predictably started talking about Paris's resident hero team. Today, she chose to ask everyone who they deemed the cutest, and she made sure to jump on Marinette's... interesting response, “And girl, he has the same silky golden hair and dreamy emerald eyes as Adrien Agreste. What’s utterly ridiculous is you freaking out and dodging every time we bring up superheroes!”

The designated snack-boy, Luka, walked out precariously carrying three bowls of goodies for everyone, “Alright, I got more popcorn. Sorry, but looks like we’re out of cheese flavoring, Y/N”

“Oh... that’s fine. I honestly wasn’t expecting it since I forgot to ask,” your free hand not reaching for the bowl rubbed the back of your neck, “but thanks for remembering.”

“Oh, um yeah- Always," is it creepy to remember something so specific? Someone as nice as Y/N wouldn't be interested in some creep. Ugh. Luka took a seat with his own bowl after passing Alya and Marinette theirs. He ended up next to you on the floor, leaning against the arm of the couch, dangerously close to touching your legs.

Rose reached for the popcorn as she interjected, “You know, Alya does have a point. So Marinette, why don’t you just tell us who you think the cutest superhero is, if you don’t like us guessing?”

Somehow Marinette’s face went even paler as she spoke, “What- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t thought- Wha- what about Y/N? Why aren’t you interrogating them?”

Alya crossed her arms, “Because Y/N says the same thing about the same hero every day. Just watch. Ahem, Y/N, care to weigh in on the cuteness level of our lovely Parisian superheroes?”

You looked up from the bowl you had stolen back from Rose with wide eyes, "Hey! Okay, no, that is not fair! Besides, what is our criteria for 'cute'? I mean... Are we going just by physical characteristics? Is costume a factor? What about the animal they're representing, could our opinion of that make this whole thing unfair? And cuteness is so subjective anyway... Why are we even reducing these amazing and honorable superheroes to just their looks? I mean we could be talking about skill, or their powers or power lev-"

"-And your answer would be exactly the same. Seriously, are you done trying- and might I add, failing- to talk yourself out of this one yet? Or should I just read the article you wrote for the Ladyblog?"

"You said you deleted that!"

Luka had perked his head up at your initial fumbling response and turned to you when he spoke, "You wrote an article? That's pretty cool."

You rubbed your face to try and distract yourself from the burning embarrassment, "Umm, yeah. But it was terrible and extremely not. worth. publishing." You hoped the glare you sent the girl in question was enough to scare her into deleting it on the spot, or to at least lie about it, "So Alya kindly deleted it, right?"

Sitting up with a smug look and crossed arms severely lowered your faith that she'd keep quiet. "A good journalist archives everything. Especially something as juicy as one of her besties going on for five thousand words about how dreamy the great Viperion is," dramatically fake-fainting into Marinette's lap, Alya could barely finish before bursting out in laughter. Of course, quickly followed by the others joining in to varying degrees. Juleka and Rose happily giggled to themselves, Marinette looked more relieved that the heat was off her, and Luka seemed to be shocked, or maybe just holding back to see how you were taking this.

Horribly. Horribly embarrassed would describe how you were taking this conversation. You sat there stock-still as you hoped that none of the others could hear your heart's desperate attempts to pound its way out of your chest. That's certainly all you could hear, at least until Alya's voice brought you out of it, "Hey, it's fine," she made her way over to sit next to you as she continued, "We all have our little hero crushes. That's why I bring it up all the time, to show you that it's totally normal! I mean, we all know how I could go on about Carapace for days," Alya gestured for the others to continue, and used her other hand to try and comfort you.

"Well, I find Ladybug to be just absolutely adorable and so kind.... oh it just makes me so happy knowing she's keeping all of Paris safe," Rose added softly.

Juleka brushed a strand of hair aside as she spoke, "Rena Rouge is super mysterious, pretty rad in my opinion."

Alya was rubbing your back like the mom friend she is to try and help encourage you, "See? Super normal, so go ahead and release all this pent up Viperion energy that I know you have. Maybe it'll encourage Marinette here to finally join in the fun!" Alya stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who responded promptly by smashing her face into a pillow.

You just sighed, "I mean- it’s- it can't just-'' were you supposed to just get over it all just like that? Well, at least the embarrassment was wearing off, maybe you could just entertain her for a bit, "Well- um, you see.... HisHairJustLooksReallySoftAnd- you know what. Nope. Can't do anymore of this. Yep- that's all you're getting out of me!" This time when everyone started giggling, you were able to comfortably join them. It was a nice feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A nice evening chilling out with your friends was always welcome, especially with the rising number of akumatizations making that less possible. But the night had come to a close. Alya and Marinette went home, Juleka was walking Rose back herself, and Luka and you had volunteered to clean up. Luka stopped drying the cup in his hand for a minute as he looked at you, “Um, I know it might not be my place, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about the whole... Viperion thing.” God, how am I supposed to take the news that MY crush has a crush on.... Sort of me? Am I supposed to count it as me at all?

“Oh, um. Yeah, thanks. I think I’m over the embarrassment now that it’s out. I don’t know, it’s just that a lot of people think it’s weird since he’s kind of a new hero,” how are you supposed to explain this to him? That you kept such a non-issue secret from him, especially without getting suspiciously defensive about it. “And then people use that to try and say that I only like him for his looks..... And that’s not it! I don’t know, it’s kind of.... A lot? To explain, that is.” This was not going well.

“Oh... Well, what is it? That you like about him, I guess.”

This was so not going well. But he was waiting for a response so... ��Uh, well I guess it did kinda start..... that way.... but then I started doing research. I learned about his power and saw videos of his fights. He’s really good! Especially for being so new, which kinda goes into why his power makes me like him so much.” Shit. Rambling, I’m just talking and talking and I need to stop. But how am I supposed to change the subject now? And now Luka’s sitting down, and he seems so invested. Why does this have to happen to me?

“What do you mean by that?”

Luka’s voice kindly shuts your little thought-spiral in its tracks. What were you saying? Oh, Viperion’s powers! You can talk about this, you know this. Just keep talking, at least he seems interested in it, “Well, you know how he can go back and redo the last couple of minutes?” Luka nodded, “Well, we always see the time that worked out. Us civilians get to keep going from the one time it all went right. Just imagine all the times he failed, all the times he couldn’t get it right. It could be dozens, maybe even hundreds of times! He must get so discouraged at some point, I mean I know I would.... I guess I didn’t really think about it at first, but.... but, I doubt I could keep that determination, and I’m so glad Paris has a hero who can, and does.”

Silence. Why was it so quiet? Oh no, he thinks I’m weird. He must think-

“All of this from ‘his hair looks soft’?”

“Hey! You can’t tell me not to be embarrassed, then make fun of me! That’s against the rules!”

Luka chuckled as he said, “Against what rules, exactly?”

“The Rules Of Best Friendship, duh!”

“And who exactly said you were my best friend?”

“Well... your loss, I guess. Now you won’t get an invitation when I plan Rose and Juleka’s wedding,” you brushed off his offended glare as you took the seat next to him.

“She’s my sister.”

“She’d take my side.”

I’d take your side, too. I will always take your side. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

A/N the sequel: I am super bad at finishing things, but I really wanna keep motivated to finish this (like I have a full, probably 3 part, plan for this). If you guys want to help, shoot me a message and I'll send you a link to the google doc I'm writing this on. Feel free to leave a little comment (pls be kind, obviously) and see my writing process! Idk, would any of you guys be interested in that? Would you just get annoyed at having already read the thing before I post it?

#luka couffaine x reader #luka couffaine #mircaulous ladybug #miraculous fanworks #miraculous fanfic #miraculous luka #miraculous lb #the tales of ladybug and cat noir #luka couffaine fanfic #luka couffaine imagine #im gonna hate seeing this show up when i search luka x reader #but imma have to deal with it #mmmmmmm #we love anxiety here #<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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I've been following your blog for a while now and I love your writing and your meta! I was wondering, do you consider Levi and Hanji's relationship to be romantic in canon? Do you consider it canon that Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin?

Thank you for the ask anon, also, thank you for ruffling my feathers a bit too :D. I’m glad you like my writings and meta and I hope that my works continue to bring you joy.

The types of questions you asked up there could only lead to the types of answers that can spark ship wars. I mean the dialogue in 136 and the change in kanji for chapter 132 hinting their own ships canon were enough to have Eruri and Levihan shippers bashing each other on twitter tbh.

Personally, I see the romantic potential for both Levihan and Eruri in the show. That’s why I found myself reading a good number of Levihan and Eruri fics. (But lots more Levihan if it isn’t obvious from AO3 bookmarks and my tumblr title). I mean lots more romantic potential than let’s say.... ereri

Do you consider it canon that Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin?

I’ll answer this one first. No. I don’t think Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin anywhere on the show. Was there potential for something to bloom? Possibly, that’s why I still read eruri fanfiction. I like exploring the possibility if Erwin wasn’t a little too obsessed with his dream, maybe their relationship could have turned out differently.

In canon, by the time they introduced Erwin, Erwin had already forsaken all romance and I think whatever feelings Erwin had towards romance rubbed off on Levi and their relationship ended up being more professional than anything. Due to Erwin’s one track mind and the position he had taken upon himself. any romantic possibilities between them in canon was just harder to make happen.

Levi though still had strong feelings towards Erwin. It’s undeniable. Erwin had given Levi purpose to live and direction on where to go next, what to do next so that’s why regardless of whether canon had made it possible or not, this relationship is still very interesting to explore.

Erwin was more professional and cold than Levi imo and honestly, despite the cold demeanor of his best friend Erwin, Levi was an incredible softie at heart and we’ve seen that side of him multiple times, when he gave Petra’s badge to that one soldier, when he stared at that one mother and child when they were on the wall ready to leave to retake Shiganshina.

We all know Levi begrudgingly wanted that soft side of him indulged and between Erwin and Hange the one more likely to indulge that softie side of Levi was Hange.

Which brings me to the next question.

Do you consider Levi and Hanji's relationship to be romantic in canon?

I wouldn’t be obsessively writing Levihan fics if I didn’t see it as romantic in canon. But at the same time, I don’t believe Hange and Levi have been in a relationship since Season 1. My headcanon here is Hange and Levi built that relationship over time and this relationship just rapidly progressed after season 3

It’s incredibly subtle which is one of the reasons people like to pretend it doesn’t exist. Probably because they’re trying to promote another ship or they don’t wanna see romance in AOT

But I don’t think a relationship developing subtly is at all a sign that it can be more platonic than anything else.

In fact, most healthy relationships and most relationships from a bystanders point of view, develop subtly. Like we were the bystanders in many other developing relationships in real life, I think we, the audience of AOT, were also bystanders watching the subtle development of Hange and Levi’s relationship.

Let’s think about how we’ve watched relationships develop in real life.

If we’re not invested, they happen incredibly subtly. These people are just constantly together, then eventually we realize we can’t invite the other without the other, then we realize we can barely get them alone, then we realize the person changed and eventually they drop this bomb saying “by the way, I’m dating this person now.”

This pattern happens way too many damn times among my friends though and people I just randomly watch everyday that it just became so expected for it to develop into romance so eventually, when I’ve seen the formula play through, I tend to lean on the side of ‘yeah, they’re probably togteher or getting there.’

Yeah, I get it, there’s a danger in assuming that people are together. I’ve seen enough romantic relationships develop though to realize that leaning on the side of ‘romantic’ given specific signs is usually the correct assumption. In fact, I have earned a good amount of money irl winning bets with my friends that two people are actually together but are hiding a relationship (or possibly are in denial).

What are some of these signs?

The way they treat this one person is so glaringly different from how they treat other people

Through the years, I have lost a lot of my best friends to their boyfriends/girlfriends and as the youngest child, I have watched all seven of my siblings get into a relationship and believe me, a lot of them have a certain line they would draw on what they are willing to do for their close friend or sibling and what they are willing to do for a lover.

I have seen people in love so willingly have their hand crushed while the person they love has their fingers set back. “Hold my hand as hard as you need to.” I’ve seen my friends take a detour 1 hour away from the destination just to pick up the person they love. And here’s the thing, they wouldn’t have done it for anyone else usually, they would have only done that thing for that one person.

Yes, okay doormats exist. But even people with doormat syndrome, the threshold of what someone is willing to do for a close friend and for a person they love still differ regardless. In a life or death situation, I think both Levi and Hange would have fought to conserve lives but if we consider small things, like routines, groceries, small favors, I feel like Levi has an incredibly low threshold of what he’d be willing to do for a random person. But Levi still carried her groceries for her so he could meet her with Moblit in the smartpass. Levi still picked her up and waited for her in Season 2 when she was researching the rock. And for Hange, chapter 115 is all the hint you need. I honestly don’t know if Hange would have gone through those lengths for anyone else but selfishly abandoning commander duties for one guy? She practically said screw you to everyone else.

The way they talk to each other is different.

This is something I notice in real life too. Most people won’t notice when they themselves do it but it’s incredibly obvious for listeners if the listeners look out for it. The tones of people’s voices change when they’re talking to someone they love. For a lot of people, sometimes their voices get a little high pitched. For others, sometimes their voices get a little softer. Just watch when you’re talking to a friend and suddenly their SO calls. (It might not apply to everyone but I find this incredibly common.) Not just tones, speech patterns change or tendencies too. In front of that one person, sometimes people are a little more selfish. Like maybe, they don’t usually say what they want to eat but when the one person asks, they would answer because suddenly they know what they want.

With Hange and Levi we have the ‘let’s live together’ and the ‘dedicate your heart’ respectively.

These are two expressions/phrases they would have not used with anyone else. There was probably more in canon, but these are just the most glaringly obvious ones with two pivotal scenes that blatantly show that Hange and Levi do have signs of the above.

Hange and Levi who are generally very selfless all business people, are suddenly only selfish with the person they love. Hange with “let’s live together?” An injured Levi deciding to rest and sleep despite the fact that they were in a war because Hange was nearby to take care of him?

Those two were suddenly selfish when they were alone with one another?

They are constantly together.

Okay, irl, you can see this when you have all your friends ride in a car together and somehow, it’s always them taking those two seats next to each other. They leave the classroom together. They leave every single dam room together. And it could be subtle or not but they always wait for one another. Yet if one person is not there, they’re the type to just go ahead and leave without giving the room behind them a second look. When someone wants to buy something, the other always has an excuse to come. And oh my god, when you call your friend in the middle of the night to hang, that person is always in their dam house or in their dam room, no breaks.

And Hange and Levi have their equivalent of this.

Levi literally picked Hange from her lab in Season 2 while she was injured and he had no need to.

I think I have made a post where Levi and Hange are shown constantly together but lemme make some points. Even early in canon, why were Hange and Levi introduced riding next to each other, they’re not even in the same squad. Why were they riding out the gate together? Shouldn’t Levi have been with his squad and shouldn’t Hange have been with her squad?

Yeah sure, maybe they just decided to ride together. But why were they next to each other in the Ilse’s notebook too when they went out the gate? And even when they were going to take back Wall Maria, Levi and Hange were next to each other in the lift, they were back to back on Wall Maria.

Like the only expedition where they weren’t riding together was when Levi had to protect Eren yo.

“They’re both leaders of course they were together” Mind you, Levi’s position in the military is a special one. He’s the captain of a special operations squad and not at all a squad leader so he shouldn’t be riding next to Hange if it were by “leaders” and in the retake Wall Maria, if they were divided by “leaders” why didn’t Hange take the lift with the other squad leaders? Why wasn’t she back to back with the other squad leaders on top of Wall Maria?

Why did she pick to hang out with Special Ops squad Captain Levi of all people, in every. Single. Damn. expedition. Scene.

And don’t even get me started on post Season 3 man. They’ve been inseparable since Erwin died.

They literally come in a set.

And you kinda realized your friends are in love when you wanna invite one of them out and you realized you kinda have to invite their special little friend by default.

And Hange and Levi are just like that too,

Hange and Levi have always come in a set. In fan art, in those advertisements, Hange and Levi are always next to each other. In those fan audiobooks, smart passes, there are always Levihan crumbs. Attack on Titan Chuugakkou was literally a testament to the canonicity of Levihan since in that show, they didn’t even hide anything, Levi and Hange were always next to each other. (I think Hange actually ended up living with him towards the end?) Post Season 3, I don’t even think there were many seasons where Levi and Hange were apart and when they were apart it was more of for duty than anything else.

Hange was always with him when she could, despite her duty as commander. Given their circumstances, they wouldn’t even be together a lot if they didn’t make the effort too.

Especially towards the end, 126 - 132, the few times Hange did leave Levi behind were for commander duties but Hange never left Levi for the lulz. And also, in 132, Levi was magically able to walk when Hange finally left him behind, and Levi could barely walk in 132, yet he still pushed himself to stand up, walk toward her and attempt to stop her.

In fact, Hange’s first scenes were next to Levi and Hange’s last scenes were also next to Levi “See you later Hange.”

And I think the huge efforts they put to being together despite their circumstances says a lot already. Hange and Levi’s treatment of each other and their being together constantly in general is a huge testament to the canonicity of their romance.

Sure, there were no ‘I love yous’. But really, before our irl friends who were in love actually came out to us, maybe months or even years after we’ve watched them be joined at the hip, were there really ‘I love you’s between them or did we all just place bets on it because they were just being too glaringly obvious about it in how they treated each other?

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #meta

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heller-obama · 3 years

Text

The Dean Winchester has adhd masterlist

(Aka the adhd!dean essay I promised awhile ago)

Emotional disregulation: (trouble regulating emotions, i.e. going from laughing to sobbing) I mean you can’t really dispute this in canon. You could say he has anger issues from John “piece of shit” Winchester but going from extremes in emotions that quickly is an Adhd Mood™️

Impulsivity: Dean being an impulsive human being is more canon than destiel, do I really need to say more

Hyperactivity: okay he’s not the stereotypical jumping off the wall adhd, but its literally been set up since s1 that he much prefers going out and doing things and hates sitting and reading all the dusty old books and lore websites

Hyperfocus: (an intense almost obsessive focus on a certain task or project at the moment) on the other side we’ve seen him do research before but in those scenes he usually has an obsessive focus and forgets to eat and sleep and stuff, which is practically textbook hyperfocus.

Hyperfixations/special interests: look me in the eyes and try to tell me Dean doesn’t have hyperfixations or special interests. I mean, extensive knowledge of classic rock, cars cowboys, Dr. Sexy. Like cmon those have big hyperfixation and special interest energy

RSD: (rejection sensitive dysphoria, kinda like diagnosed general anxiety disorder level anxiety, but laser focused on rejection) okay this one could maybe also be attributed to his abandonment issues, but also it has total rsd energy bc think about it. All the drama about Sam not coming for him in purgatory in s8 bc he thought that meant Sam didn’t care about him anymore (aka rejecting him), obsessively following johns every order in s1 bc he thought he wouldn’t love him (and would reject him) if he wasn’t the perfect soldier of a son, etc.

Delayed sleep cycles: (basically just some adhd ppl have natural sleep cycles that run from 2am-11am instead of the neurotypical 11pm-8am) I mean it is totally canon that he gets shit sleep bc he goes to bed super late, and then he gets a lot less sleep bc they have to get up early to hunt

The adhd vibes: he just has them adhd vibes. Y’all lgbtq+ folks know how you just meet someone and you’re like “ah yes they’re not straight”? It’s like that but with adhd and lemme say I’m usually pretty accurate. Also I’m desperate for that adhd rep

Feel free to add your own!

#ik I missed some lol so y’all add your own!!#supernatural #dean winchester #spn #adhd representation #adhd!dean #adhd

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thatadhdmood · 3 years

Note

I find it like Impossible to connect to bands like other people do. I think I got ONE who I vibe with. And that’s Yungblud! BECAUSE HES MY ADHD IDOL AND I WATCH ALL HE INTERVIEWS….

But some folks will ask me about mainstream bands/albums/even songs and I’ll be like UHHH but if they play the song I’m like OH YEAH IVE HEARD THIS THATS A BOP but then I’ll never listen to it on my own and forget who played it within an hour….. I just have a random YouTube mix going on in the background at all times my music taste has turned into a ripe stew.

If it BOPS it’s gOOD. (If U have any folk songs that bop I’d be interested 👀 folk can be a jam

mmm yes my band is ajj, sean bonette the lead has adhd, so we twinning

Ive watched almost all his live shows

I just gotta get thru the 100+ episodes of live from quarantine

but yeah lemme grab my folkpunk masterlist i keep it on discord for easy access brb

folkpunk

AJJ (BEST FOLKPUNK BAND BABY)

days n dazes (SECOND BEST BABY),

pat the bunny (THIRD BEST wingnut dishwahers union, and ramshackle glory specifically are my faves but hes in other bands, hes an old classic folkpunk but hes retired now)

xiu xiu (more experimental indie but ay),

crywank (more antifolk but still called folkpunk by some),

the taxpayers (SAXOPHONE, read the album descriptions before listening it makes shit make more sense especially for thanks bastards, if u like em try their other band anxiety cat, a branch off band by the main singer),

apes of state (its lesbians music baby),

bridge city sinners (folk more so),

ferocious dogs (ive only listened to a lil but very fun folk),

local news legend (lesbian music baby),

kimya dawson (i havent listens much rlly but ppl like it also lesbians),

mccaferty (band front man is a fucking terrible person but i still like the album beachboy, if u want to listen to music that sounds exactly the same with out the lead singers baggage listen to next band),

the front bottoms (sounds identical to mccaferty but unproblematic and slightly better),

defiance ohio (havent listened in a while but theyre fun),

ghostmice (another bad band front man i actually dont like them that much i think i only like shelter, listen with caution like do research a bit first),

harley poe (SLAPS SO HARD SATANIC STUFF AND ADULTERY AND MURDER),

the homeless gospel choir (meh not my fave but okay),

miscief brew (not my fave in any way but some ppl like em, theyre older folkpunk stuff),

the mountain goats (i only like a few songs i dont like their song textures srry),

i fucking hate neutral milk hotel but try it at least (theres a good two headed boy cover by ajj that SLAPS SO HARD),

the orphans (meh vibes kinda boring tbh),

rent strike (more folky nice vibes!),

she/her/hers (okayish i dont listen much tbh rlly, trans girl and lesbian music),

we the heathens (im still going thru their stuff rnow their quite good!)

There hope u enjoy. Its every folkpunk band ive listened to and a short sentence of my thoughts

AJJ is the best band

#thatadhdmood #adhd #asks #actuallyadhd #actually adhd #anonymous #heres my hyperfixatio #hyperfixations

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bae-science · 3 years

Text

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

#pacific rim #pac rim #mine #newmann #pacific rim uprising #fic rec

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darkpoisonouslove · 3 years

Text

Sparks of Life Opera Edition

I am still not over Singing a New Tune so I am going to recap for you the experience of writing that fic because there were many interesting moments over the course of those three days. Lemme start from the beginning.

- So I’m writing a fic that mostly focuses on sexual stuff but it is also mainly happening in an opera so my first order of business is to figure out what that opera is. Both the building itself and the show they’ll be watching. Because that is of utmost importance.

- I have already mentioned that SoL is located in New York so I looked up New York operas. I do not vibe with research most of the time but I vibe even less with having to come up with names for any kind of thing so research was definitely the choice here.

- I somehow get results about operas that are in the other end of the USA. That was not great. I get to the Metropolitan Opera House at last (which I might have known existed if I cared about opera in any way, shape or form) which is great! I am so close to starting the fic! Just need to figure out what opera they’re watching. Because I need that for reasons.

- I end up downloading a PDF with the seatings inside the Met Opera so that I can figure out where the hell they will be seating. But I leave that for later. I look through the actual plays that they’re having while absolutely failing with the navigation of their site. I find a show that catches my eye. It’s called The Magic Flute. I have zero idea what it’s about so I read the Wikipedia summary just to be aware. It mentions that a character has a moment when he’s singing about his search for a wife and I think “Perfect! Foreshadowing!” (since this is set pretty early on in Griffin and Valtor’s relationship).

- I decide to look up the opera and see if I can find a part of it on youtube to figure out how it will sound. I am pretty sold on it already because of the summary I read and also because it implies there is magic as a subject in it which would call back to canon. Still, I look it up. I find a full version of it on the internet with English subtitles... It is 2 hours and 35 minutes:

youtube

- “Wow, okay... that’s a bit much. But hey, it has got subtitles in English. Maybe I’d actually watch that... once I’m done with the fic. I’m just gonna listen to a little bit while I finish my research, though, so I can have an idea of what it sounds like.”

- Now it’s time to open the engagement fic - Enough to Be Yours - because I don’t remember what year they got engaged in and I need that to reverse engineer the year in which this fic is taking place so that I can make sure that The Magic Flute was being performed back then. I don’t have an year stated in the engagement fic, though. I have a date - 9th October which is Friday and that means the year is 2015. Great! So I need to figure out if they were performing The Magic Flute back in 2010. Great.

- That takes a shit ton of time and nerves as it turns out. I spent over 4 hours just researching the logistics for this fic and a lot of that was unnecessary but I’m getting ahead of myself.

- I cannot find out whether they were performing the Magic Flute in 2010. I get results of it being broadcast in English (for the first time, I believe) in 2012 but that is way too late for this fic to be happening. Also, they are speaking of a broadcast which just doesn’t work for me. So I am having a hard time over here.

- I find a list of the new titles in 2011 but nothing mentions The Magic Flute as far as I can see.

- I am now considering switching to another opera. I see an opera that is based on events from The Song of the Nibelungs (I cannot be assed to go back and check what the actual title was). That catches my eye because I have read a book that was titled The Ring of the Nibelungs, I believe, and I kinda remember stuff from it... which is what makes me hesitate because that was a big tragedy.

- Meanwhile, I have stumbled upon a trailer for The Magic Flute:

youtube

MY GOD IS THAT BEAUTIFUL! THOSE PROPS ARE FUCKING GORGEOUS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU GET TO GO AND SEE THAT LIVE? THAT IS NUTS! (Also, when I mentioned paper birds (I think they are) in the fic, I meant the ones shown in 0:13, not the big one in the beginning but HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT THING????? HOW IS THAT REAL?!?!?!?! IT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T. I AM DYING. THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL.)

- I somehow happen upon an old archive of the opera (idk how I did that but I bookmarked it in case I’ll need it again) that has information about plays going back as far as the year 1900. This is nuts! I am in too deep but I can’t pull myself away. I’ve gotten this far, I will see it through.

- I search for keyword “flute” and I get results. Some of them are pretty old but I finally find what I need. Performances of the Magic Flute in 2010! Bingo!

- ...Oh, wait, they’re all around Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Hmm... when will it be okay for them to go? I mean, Valtor has been established to have zero free time around that time of the year and I can’t see them going on the 24th or the 31st... Oh, those are matinees. Definitely no! I need them to go in the evening. And some of these are broadcasts which doesn’t work for me either.

- I looked up earlier years as well. I considered another opera again. I decided to switch up the timeline a little. It makes sense if it’s in 2009. I think they had spring performances of The Magic Flute then. Or was it 2008? Anyway, I finally settle on an early April date in 2009 (I think). Now that that’s settled, let’s go back to the seats.

- First I need to figure out what floor (let’s say) of the opera they’re on. I was thinking of the last one first (family circle) but the boxes (I figure those seats will be safest for their activities) look like this:

which isn’t vibing with me because they would be in the front row and it seems more visible. So I relocate to the previous floor (balcony) that looks like this:

That works a little better although there’s the danger of having more people in their box. But they’re sitting in box 14, seats 5 (Griffin) and 6 (Valtor) (where the arrow is pointing) and there’s only one man in seat 4 in front of them. So that is the best I can do.

- Wow, all that’s finally figured out. I decide to do all the rest of the research up front in order to be able to just write after that and not stop for another 4 hours. More on those other things later BUT I get to the part where I need to pick a vibrator and... well, I done fucked up.

- First thing that comes up for a remote controlled vibrator is Lush, of course. And I am immediately sold because it has a sound activated setting which Valtor will definitely love to utilize while in the opera.

BUT

Lush 2 (which is the first one to have the sound activated setting, I believe) came out in 2018. Even if we accept that Lush also has it, that came out in 2015. My fic is set in 2009. Searching for 2009 vibrators literally went no where so in the end I decided that the SoL verse is actually set in a parallel universe where time is a little warped so the Lush 2 is out in 2009. Plus, that way there isn’t going to be a pandemic in future installments. Overall, that works. Except that I needn’t have been so thorough with my opera research beforehand. Oh, well. It’s finally time to start writing.

- How do you write? How do you start a fic? One word in front of the other? Oh, okay, never mind. Lipstick is a girl’s best friend. Let’s start from there. And a kiss that leads to the discussion of lipstick... Damn, I forgot to spend one more hour on researching what kind of lipstick Griffin would have worn. Shame! You don’t get that detail now. I believe I didn’t even mention a shade.

- Oh, wait. Need for his breath to taste like something. Hmm, let’s see. Tonic water? Yeah, that sounds about right. Never mind that he should have probably drunk it right before getting out of the car to kiss her if it was still lingering on his breath. I mean, that’s not impossible. Just improbable.

- He’s also wearing cologne, right? Gotta research that too. How else would I get this:

and zero idea what it actually smells like despite the description. Also, did not check if that was a thing in 2009 but the story now exists in a vacuum so who cares.

- Apparently, Griffin doesn’t own any golden bracelets even though she does have a golden necklace? Or she could have a golden bracelet, just not one she likes for the current situation? Anyway, I wanted to mention Ediltrude as well because the twins always go together and that was the best I came up with. (That said, I didn’t need to put the mentions of them one sentence apart.)

- My god, I used a semicolon! That feels illegal. I sure hope I used that bitch correctly.

- Okay, I absolutely love all the banter and just flow in the car. Idk how I did that since it’s such a constricted space but I am really proud of it. However, the logistics were sometimes hard to logic my way through. I mean, Valtor doesn’t get to look at her a lot and I had to employ a red traffic light to give him the chance to do so.

- I hit a wall about three paragraphs later. Things started going in a weird direction. I was considering even deleting the last two lines but then I managed to get back on track thanks to having figured out how they met and I decided to write a little bit about that without spoiling it (that will be a fic of its own some day). Suffice it to say it was a meet-very-ugly. But it bailed me out. Also, they got over it so it’s all good.

- And now... that paragraph. You know which one I’m talking about. It stands out with the locations I’ve given. That paragraph required 30 minutes of looking at Google Earth to figure it out and I still nearly got it wrong. At that point it occurred to me that they’ll need a place to park. I mean, idk how parking is in NYC but it’s probably not the way it is in Bulgaria especially on small neighborhood streets where it’s just... park wherever (even in front of a garage if you’re brazen enough and don’t fear having your tires slashed). So first, I was going to have them coming down Tenth Avenue and passing by the backside of the Opera which is not ideal for me because I needed Griffin to figure out they’re going to the opera so that they can have the following dialogue. But there is the New York Public Library of the Performing Arts right next door so I figure Griffin will recognize the area if it’s next to a library. And I have them almost at the garage but... that’s not looking right. This garage is on 65th Street and mine is on 62nd... I have been looking at the wrong garage for the past hour. Now that I have caught that mistake, things get easier. They just drive right past the facade of the opera, take a right turn and then enter the garage. Easy peasy. For whoever’s actually paying attention to the map.

- They’re in the garage now and I have to write another kiss. Shoot! I do not vibe with writing kisses. Writing sex scenes is much easier. But I’ll try my best because this is a little bit necessary if we’re dealing with an insertion of a vibrator in a public bathroom one minute from now. (Again, logistics!) I actually went back to add in a little discomfort during the kiss (but not too much because they’re consumed with each other anyway and probably missed something) just to make it more realistic. They can’t be comfortable in the car. Also, you have got to love how I never even thought of what make the car is. But I did stop to research the tinting of the car windows.

- Now this is extremely funny but I would have had zero idea that there are different laws about how tinted your car windows can be in the USA if I hadn’t read a very extensive critique of Fifty Shades (whichever part it was that had that info). So I look up the VLT for New York and it says 70%. Great! Then it won’t be that visible through the windows what they’re doing inside. Oh, wait! VLT means Visible Light Transmission aka 70% of the light should be passing through the window. Aka it is only tinted on 30%. This much:

That’s practically nothing. You can see everything through it. Welp, then someone’s gonna see, I guess.

- Can’t believe I didn’t stop to look up clutches either. (Lmao, I was calling it a purse instead of a clutch at first even though I definitely meant a clutch. And then I remembered that clutch existed as a word. Who would’ve thought?) It’s baffling trying to figure out why my brain was prioritizing some details over others and I just genuinely have no idea what was going on.

- Griffin is blushing a lot in this. Can you tell I have no idea how else to convey Valtor giving her feelings through body language?

- I first envisioned the box being opened by the hair pin by turning it like a key. Only later did I realize that that wouldn’t be possible because the pin has two parts (whatever they’re called) and that would make turning it impossible unless all of the base fits into one hole in the lid of the box. So I had to adapt my vision to using the extensions at the ends of the hair pin like a hook that pulls the lid up once it’s clicked free. I have zero idea how that would be done but I’m sure it can be done. So yeah, anyway, the pin looks like this but with attachments at the ends to open the box:

- I might have gone a little overboard with Griffin’s reaction to having the vibrator inside her. I might have made her a bit too embarrassed but I still think that she simply wouldn’t appreciate someone knowing about what she considers a private experience (despite the very public setting).

- And I am being overly specific again with the seats but I worked for that information so you’re getting it against your will!

- Speaking of, that man in their box was pretty ignored throughout the fic. But then again Griffin wasn’t overflowing with lucidity. She is sure to have missed... A Lot, actually.

- My apologies (once again) to @her-majesty-wears-jeans for not letting Griffin punch Valtor in the face for the terrible pun he was about to make but I thought that that would ruin the mood so I had to skip it.

- I might have imagined things a little differently but then consent factored in and I had to change things up so that Griffin is clearly on board with everything. I hope it came through that way at least. She is on board even if she is very, very frustrated. She would never throw the bet just because it’s difficult for her. Though, I’m taking note for future fics of maybe being a little bit more explicit about the enjoyment of all parties involved. I just couldn’t really think of a way to convey it better back then and I am coming up with several ideas now and I will try to keep them in mind for future fics.

- I keep going back and forth on just how far into their relationship this is. Sometimes it feels like it’s not enough time for them to get this familiar with each other and sometimes it feels like too much for them to still be skirting their feelings for each other like that. Will update when I make up my mind about how long exactly it has been.

- In retrospect, probably should have picked up an opera that people would be less likely to bring their children to (as brought to my attention by @her-majesty-wears-jeans). I apologize for this. Did not consider it at all.

- A wild tangent about Griffin’s sexual experiences before Valtor popped up (for the second time now). This is giving me thoughts and I am not even sure if I’ll manage to get them all out in the bachelorette party fic. Oh, no, I am getting ideas again.

- God, I had to mention those paper birds because I adore them. Also, needed to do a time skip somehow (sure hope they don’t show up at the very end or the very beginning).

- So there are some things about the whole thing with the suit jacket that if you squint, you’ll miss the very far-fetched and convoluted ways in which I could make them make sense but again, it isn’t impossible to make them operate according to logic so good enough.

- And now for the dress:

I thought it would be reasonable for Griffin to own something like that. It doesn’t look overly expensive or dramatic.

- I swear that most of the 2% angst was an accident. Griffin was supposed to say the “You paid how much for tickets exactly just so you could fool around?” line but the following few paragraphs sprang on me out of nowhere. That was where I left it off the first day I was working on it and I wasn’t sure how to continue it. Then the angst happened.

- I do not believe the retaliation part was planned but would it really be a Griffin x Valtor story if something like that hadn’t happened? XD

- “reverberated”, “multitudinous” and “unobtainable” are probably not words that Griffin’s muddled mind would go to in that precise moment but everything else I came up with for them just did not sound right.

- I completely forgot the word for neckline and was so mad at myself for that but, luckily, I managed to remember it before posting the fic. I believe the original read “he slipped a finger under the fabric of her dress, running it over the top of her breast” which is not incorrect but just not precise enough for my liking.

- Sure hope the shortened version of the opera did not cut out the ending musical sequence. But that seems unlikely.

- The idea was running overly long in my head by having them going back to the penthouse so that I could have the scene where he picked her up so I decided to move things around and have him carry her bridal style on their way from the opera to the car. It’s not like she didn’t earn it.

- Pretty sure I had planned something a little different for the last several lines of dialogue but I couldn’t remember what so we get this. Which isn’t a disadvantage. I mean, Griffin is already thinking of marrying him. XD (That’s probably a bit of a stretch at the current status of their relationship but then again, she was thinking of a wedding, not necessarily of their wedding even though I’m clearly a little romance gargoyle that meant exactly that.)

- Originally, Valtor was supposed to floor the brakes while they were out in the NYC traffic but then I decided that doing it while still in the garage with only one car behind them and both vehicles driving at a very slow speed was a lot safer so I switched to that. It also saved me writing more words which was appreciated. I thought this fic would be a bit shorter.

- I was at a loss for how many orgasms Griffin should want from him but then the commitment line happened and that was all avoided.

#winx club #winx griffin #winx valtor #griffin x valtor #covenshipping #sparks of life #singing a new tune #trivia #trivia tuesday #research #my writing process #the magic flute #yeah no cut and this is gonna be hell on mobile #i know #i'm evil

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june-again · 3 years

Note

I hope this isn't a weird question but what are your grades like?? Do you have any tips for studying and getting work done?? I can't seem to focus on anything 😭

ajhdsFd um i always work my hardest in all my courses bc im like that 😭😭 i've had straight A's for years but umm im a tryhard

a few tips? okay um lemme think about that for a sec. this is also something i struggle with because attention span = does not exist. (sorry if these are completely useless lmfao)

um also this got to almost 1k words so TL;DR: just put away distractions and do it. it's not as hard as you think. and learn to associate good emotions with homework - procrastinating is in fact a mental blockage but you can overcome it !!

1. make yourself interested in the subject. this is key. this will help you remember things and want to learn things. how can you get yourself interested? - if it's a science/history type of subject DEFINITELY try to find a case example instead of just trying to memorize facts. youtube videos help with this in some cases. learn about one specific thing in the area, and it will be easier to relate other concepts to that. - if it's more process related than fact related - for instance, doing math, find something you like about it. something that's the same every time. and enjoy doing that. that's why i love doing trig n stuff - i like putting in the cos and sin and stuff i love how that's always the same. or like - i like the satisfaction of completing a question. - if it's writing !! make it related to something you like!! you might not always have much freedom, but writing about something you have a lot of interest/knowledge about is vastly easier. if you have to write an essay on the effect of pollution on the environment or something, you should do a lot of pre-research so that you're not constantly going between websites and you have more time to just let your thoughts flow. it's much more fun that way.

2. get rid of distractions. BESTIE I KNOW. I DON'T WANNA PUT MY PHONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM EITHER. I DON'T WANNA STOP OPENING TUMBLR. but it's so important. - stay 'mindful.' i hate that phrase as much as anyone but it's important to be present in the moment and aware where your time is going. - don't feel guilty about missing things. it can't be helped. everyone misses things. you don't have to be there for every second of everything. you sleep, sometimes, right? and you miss things while you sleep? sleep is important, sleep helps you get through your day and make progress in life (more on that later). so if you can take a break from social media to sleep, you also can take one for doing homework. - ok ok this is the best thing ever. i saw it in a lifehacks video and i'm in love with it LMAO. if you insist on having your phone near you - PUT A WATER BOTTLE ON TOP OF IT. rest that mf on top of your screen so when you go to look at your phone at LEAST YOU'RE GETTING HYDRATED AMIRIGHT?!?!?

3. just do it. okay, you deserve breaks, you deserve to rest. but sometimes you're just putting it off with every excuse you have even though you know once you start you'll be fine. so how do you get yourself to start?? - as mentioned, you gotta put those distractions away. it's not gonna happen if you're still sitting there on tik tok. if you have to - (this is what i sometimes do) delete the apps that are distracting you. - look at the assignment. even if you feel like you can't work right now, or like you can't focus, just set a little goal for yourself. read the assignment and do the first question. review the notes. break it up. sometimes all you need is to complete your first little goal, and then you're like -- ah, doing a little more won't hurt.

4. take care of yourself. HONEY IDC WHETHER YOU HOT THE BEST GRADES OR THE WORST. YOU HAVE TO SLEEP AND EAT. prioritize taking care of yourself and doing what you need. - i know how fun it is to stay up and how good it feels to be sleep deprived/hj but it SERIOUSLY makes it so hard to get anything done if your mind needs sleep. humans did not invent sleep to impair your schedule. humans invented schedules to impair sleep. -sara 2021 - you got this. don't compare yourself to others. your best is always enough. pushing yourself is good for growth but right now, if getting a single assignment done feels that intimidating, then maybe that is all you can do today. it's about building habits of being able to work hard and if you are out of the loop that i understand how hard it is to get back in again.

okay so um i kinda just . sorry i didn't mean to go on that long. i doubt any of that is helpful.

i sound like a wikihow article wtf. anyways happy studying. i love you for asking me this even though i know you were probably looking for, like, a few tips. i just :( school important kyds

#elk's asks #anon! 💕#oops #study tips #studyblr #lmao i never thought i'd use that tag #sorry #goodbye #im ashamed of myself rn

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windandwater · 3 years

Text

so I started adderall and hoo boy. lemme tell you. what a wild feeling, in so many ways, but especially right now where I’m like “I’m not doing anything shouldn’t I be panicking” and my brain is like “no. you have a lot to do. but you’ve also been working really hard. so it’s okay to take a break for a few minutes” and I BELIEVE MYSELF??

WOW

anyway here’s some stuff under the cut about it because I can’t believe how well this is working out.

background: I’m hypoglycemic. one big reason I decided to do this was, I was having this issue where I get depressed if I don’t eat sugar. I was eating sugar to feel joy. I am at risk for diabetes but even if I wasn’t this is not...great. I’ve always had to watch my blood sugar and I’ve always been careful about what I eat but in recent years, the amount of actual dessert/candy I eat has gotten mildly out of control and my doctors have told me to watch my sugar and I just...wasn’t able to.

one of my coworkers who is also not-neurotypical and as such knows her shit, told me that this whole “sugar to feel joy” thing is an ADHD symptom. I knew I had ADHD (I’d been diagnosed in high school) but wasn’t being treated for it, but had never been told this was a symptom, and at that point I was like, you know what, fuck this, I can’t get my health under control on my own if I’m not being treated for my mental health as well. I’m talking to my psychiatrist about this.

so I did. enter adderall. and now I wanna talk about it because it’s been FASCINATING and I am all about brain medication when you need it. so here goes!

also I live-tweeted my first 24 hours on adderall because it was SO WILD and I’m so glad I did even though I have three (3) followers, more on that in a minute

(me: I can’t tell if it’s working, it’s supposed to kick in in 30 minutes but--wait I think my brain just went bOOP

coworker: is bOOP good?

me: it’s WEIRD)

the good

Y’ALL THE SUGAR THING WORKED IMMEDIATELY. oh my god I was stunned. absolutely stunned. I still absolutely have a sweet tooth and enjoy eating sweets but I can eat a normal amount, at normal times, and not because I need to feel something. it’s because I want to eat something sweet. I can’t believe in 24 hours I went from complete inability to control myself to just...not having to. brains!! who knew!!!

I focused on an entire conversation the entire time. the entire time. I was even very stressed because my blood sugar was low and I needed to eat, but I was able to put that aside because I knew I could deal with it when the conversation was over! WHAT THE HELL!

since then it hasn’t been that easy because conversations are, quite frankly, often very boring, especially for work. but it’s easier to focus when I need to, and not zone out halfway through or have to do something else in order to focus. or start stressing/thinking about other shit that doesn’t matter. I can listen to what people are saying!!! for an hour! it’s crazy!!!

I wasn’t tired all day! this is also part of the bad. you’ll see.

I feel more in control of my days now, and less like time is speeding by at a rate I don’t and can’t comprehend. I’ve gotten fairly good at planning out and prioritizing my time anyway, but now it’s like...better. and easier.

executive function is online, and as I alluded to, no more self-guilt-tripping if it takes me a minute to get to things. they’ll still get done! it’s okay! if I don’t do something right away I will still do the thing! I have years of experience parceling tasks into small pieces so I do them, but less so with not still getting on my own case about not doing them right away.

if I don’t have music or a podcast playing at all times, I can still focus on work. it’s still pretty nice, it’s just not absolutely necessary. this is throwing me off hardcore but it’s kind of nice to be able to be in silence occasionally.

I can still multitask but if I’m NOT multitasking I don’t feel like I’m going insane, and also, I don’t feel like my brain is hanging by a thread at all times that might break and cause everything to explode.

a tweet I made: “I was researching something and when I got frustrated I kept at it and didn't have to go take a break to do something equally frustrating and pinball back and forth between them until they both got done. I might have just been weaponized? “

it’s true. researching/looking stuff up is one of my skillsets and...I’ve been weaponized.

the bad

my appetite is allll fucked up. we’re adjusting the type of medication I’m on to try and mitigate this but wow it’s an appetite suppressant and wow that’s not okay when you’re hypoglycemic and have to keep your blood sugar up.

my sleep is also fucked up. anxiety keeps me from falling asleep and I’d gotten to a good place re: falling asleep at night. however I was also in a very bad place re: sleeping constantly (sleep apnea? quarantine depression? who knows!). but waking up constantly during the night ain’t the solution, chief. so we’re also adjusting to see if we can do something about that.

regarding that: the first night, I literally just did not get tired. it was very upsetting. if I hadn’t tweeted about it I would’ve had an out and out panic attack, but one of my friends talked me off the ledge, telling me she had the same experience when she first went on it. I was not warned and I wish I had been. I was still able to sleep (she wasn’t, when it happened to her) but hoo boy. no thank you.

pharmacies like to babysit you when you’re on controlled substances. ugh.

more shit to keep track of. ughhhhhhhhhhhh

unfortunately, I had a hard time finding mainstream resources for this stuff online. I’ve read a lot from tumblr and heard from other people’s experiences, but when I went looking for, say, information on adderall & sleep...a lot of it is related to addiction. I had a similar problem with ADHD & sleep: I wanted to know more about whether ADHD can make you really tired like I was, or whether it was just an insomnia type of thing, and there just wasn’t a lot out there. this isn’t really a problem with the drug, but like...it’s a pain when you really want to learn more about something, aren’t in a place to talk to your doctor yet, and are just left to the wind with the mainstream internet assuming you’re abusing a substance.

definitely also felt like I had to lay the groundwork with my doctor...I had been planning to talk to her about this for a while, so I mentioned my ADHD diagnosis early on so I could bring it up at some point and not just out of the blue ask her for meth. this stuff is hard.

(not making a statement of any kind of recreational drug use/addiction, just...I hate the US medical system. a lot. everybody loses.)

so that’s how it’s going! sorry for the long post, but I did want to document this somewhere besides twitter, and maybe some of y’all are interested.

oh also, my other favorite thing that happened is my doctor said to try to keep track of when I take the medication and it wears off, and I literally told her that that would also be a good marker of whether or not it’s doing its job, because in my natural state I literally cannot remember to do that, with anything, ever. and I did! I managed! WILD

anyway end the stigma. ♥️

#adventures in text posts #adhd blogging #mental health

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greenbergsays · 3 years

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So, you're the closest thing I have to a "friend"* in fandom, and you seem to know your fandom history and have a level take on a lot of things, so I hoped I could bother you for your opinion on something. This is a long and kind of heavy/complicated question so if you don't have the mental space for it, please feel free to disregard it entirely.

So, I absolutely adore an anime (My Hero Academia), and I really want to write for it, but I personally headcanon my favorite character (Shoto Todoroki) as having DID. I've written a lot of personal snippets for myself about it and done lots of research because it sort of became a new special interest for me, and I really want to start writing proper fics and sharing them again. However, my problem is sort of twofold.

I don't want to insult people who actually live with DID by writing a character that is inaccurate, and I know research will only get me so far. I understand that stories don't have to be perfectly realistic in fanfiction contexts (eg, the difference between posting Master of the Universe vs Fifty Shades of Grey) but I don't want to cause more harm to an already marginalized community, even if unintentionally.

The other issue is that the fandom is kind of known for being incredibly toxic in some circles, especially on platforms like tiktok and twitter. I worry that even if I openly say I want criticism on my stories so I CAN do better, I'll just get flooded with hate comments about it not being canon, or arguing about basic shit like how I portray my characters vs how they perceive them from the show, rather than getting any actual feedback that could help.

I really love this fandom, and I really want to get back in to writing. It was one of the few things that gave me joy before my entire life turned upside down, and I want to get back to doing things that make me happy. But I've had so many bad experiences with harassing comments that I'm not sure how to move forward with wanting to continue, much less when I want to touch such a delicate topic.

*I use this term incredibly loosely, I just follow you and appreciate your content and you were the first person to pop in my mind when someone said ask a friend about it, I sincerely apologize if that upsets or offends you in any way

So here’s the thing, right.

I did once read a fic where Bucky Barnes had DID because of his lifelong trauma. I thought it was a well-thought-out fic, unique and memorable, and I don’t feel like it was toxic or harmful in its portrayal, but I also don’t have DID.

I don’t know how someone living with it experiences that fic or the one you would write.

I would recommend a sensitivity reader rather than declaring open season in the comments. I would recommend getting one before you even start the fic, actually, because you don’t know whether or not the idea/plot itself will be harmful to them as a whole and you don’t want to go through that much work only to figure out you have to scrap it all.

The other thing I will say is that you’ll have to prepare yourself for the harassing comments. I hate them, I don’t agree with them, I will do everything in my power to fight them and teach better etiquette, but this is the internet and people are NOTORIOUSLY ASSHOLES on the internet.

Even with a sensitivity reader that okays a story, people are gonna try to come at you that don’t experience the issues or even know someone who does, bc they like to be Performatively Woke In Public for the kudos or whatever.

So you really gotta weigh whether or not you wanna rock that boat or if you just want to share your story with a privileged few. It might be easier that way.

I hope this helps? Even a little bit?

And good luck!

EDIT: Actually, I thought about this as soon as I hit post, so lemme add

If your story ideas are about the DID experience itself, I wouldn’t recommend writing that. Having a story with a certain type of character with a completely separate plot is inclusive and I encourage that, but when it comes to stories that are “experiences with x” exclusively, it’s one of those “own voices” things.

Allow queer people to write queer experiences, black people to write black experiences, etc. But absolutely include these kinds of characters in your fantasy/sci-fi story where that isn’t the plot itself.

#neurodivergence #sensitivity readers #dissociative identity disorder #fandom etiquette #nani asks #greenberg replies

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moon-forest-princess · 3 years

Text

An In-depth Elven perspective on Mind Power Subliminals (p1)

I felt lead to talk about the controversial subliminal creator known as Mind Power. This is a post to address anyone who may have been curious about the Elven Light Path but was turned off to it by Mind Power herself. Even if this post just helps one, that is a great thing. I also have suggestions for alterative Elven subs you can use and other resources! If you want them, just lemme know!

(sorry for the length of this, it ended up being WAAAAAY longer than I wanted it to be, so I split it in two parts! I wanted to fully address her actions that I've seen, from my perspective as an Elven soul).

TL;DR -- Mind Power seems to be a shady person who speaks with self-assumed authority about a people she is not a part of, because (as far as I can tell) she wants a bunch of devoted followers at her whim. But she does NOT speak for the collective.

-- If you are unfamiliar with what subliminals are, they are essentially a psychological tool to help you achieve goals for yourself. They are videos with silent or quiet affirmations covered by music. Creators of these videos typically post their subliminals to Youtube. I wrote about them a bit more in my last post here, but there is also another explanation here.

-- If you are unfamiliar with the Elven Light Path.... this is living as an Elven Soul. It's more than just a physical/fashion aesthetic. It is taking on the thoughts, lifestyle, mindsets, and wisdom of the Elves. It is NOT a religion or cult. It is appreciating the beauty of this world through the visions of the next. While most who follow this Path are spiritually awakened to their Elven higher selves, non-Elf identified souls may freely follow this path as well.

SO....I've been using subs actively for about 2 months, but have been using them on and off for the past yearish. In this time, I had heard of two controversial sub creators who have since left the community: Rose Subliminals and Mind Power.

I had never "researched" much about them but had been hearing more news about Rose and her actions since there were some more recent developments this year with her. There's a gaggle of YouTube videos meant to 'expose' both these channels, but I take them with a grain of salt. While I don't necessarily doubt the allegations, many of the videos seem to lean on common conspiracy theories (eg, illuminati) and mystical suggestions for entertainment, based on some serious claims vs just looking at the situation for what it might be at its bare bones. I just go by screenshot conversations from the actual accused and whatnot. Regardless, a number of people claimed to have had a bad experience with Mind Power's videos (from general discomfort to claims of hospital visits) and also claimed that she was "not a good person" and also that she "wanted to control everyone" (in her own words).

As I was looking through Google images for the thumbnail pic that I used in that previous post I linked above, I came across THIS image:

And it piqued my interest. I had missed the entire Mind Power saga. I was not really active and paying attention in the subliminal community until very recently so I wasn't actively around when Mind Power had her videos still up.

Clicking the image link here, it led to a blog post. Originally when I read the post I thought the best possible thing: that maybe she was working with someone and knew they were putting negative things in their affirmations and was trying a tactic to scare away people from using them. Then I read more of her posts and realized she was being serious. So then I thought, the next 'best' thing: There are kids/young teens in the sub community and maybe a lot of the comments on her videos her these younger users who just didn't quite understand the Elven Light Path and she was fussing about it. But no.. the truth is much worse.

So, I had no idea that (a lot of) her channel focus was apparently on the Elven Light Path--the path I walk--until I came across this blog post...but right away I could tell her perception of this spiritual and lifestyle path was severely skewed.

From what I can gather from her blog, Mind Power (AKA Asherah Aphrodite) is what some on this site might call godkin (Idk if she'd identify that way... probably not). She claims to have been offering the traits and powers of the Elves through her videos to help "turn humans into elves". With secret powers and gifts FROM the Elves.

To quote her directly, here is a small paragraph about using Elven subliminals from the article that Legolas meme image accompanies:

"This is completely changing from human to Elf. This is Elven immortality. This is being part of the Elven family. This is giving up your humanity. Do not use the Elf series unless you are serious about the Elven path. We would much rather have less people using the Elf series. It would be fine if only a few of you used it because we would be a more solid and dedicated tribe. Don't mess with them. They are not tolerant and forgiving towards humans who disrespect them. Have you read the folklore stories of what they do to humans they don't like?"

After reading this, I realized she was simply outside trying to define a group she doesn't even understand.

Yes, the Elven Light Path is a real lifestyle that goes beyond just dressing elven and being obsessed with LotR, but for many, that is how it starts. And that is more than okay! All journeys must start somewhere. If someone DESIRES to be elven and actively seeks out these sort of videos, it is a sign that they already have a connection to the Elven and Fae.

In truth, we elves would ALWAYS rather have MORE people walking the Elven path, than LESS. Even those who do not identify as elven themselves. We are not a closed club or sorority group that has to audition only the "best of the best" to be accepted in our little exclusive "tribe" as she calls it.

The Elven Path is a path for every and anyone, all who wish to explore it. It is simply about living and seeing life through the eyes of the Elven and connecting with your Elven self. The more you follow this path, the more you become aligned with Elven energy. Being Elven is NOT "giving up your humanity". It is heightening it. Elevating it. Elves are humans. Humans are Elves. There is an innate connection that only differs in frequencies, spiritual maturity levels, and physical form. Those of us who have become awakened to our higher Elven selves and claim to be Elven Souls only recognize this truth and strive to live it. But we are still human and recognize this as well. Regarding her point in the first quote about Elves not being "tolerant and forgiving toward humans who disrespect them" while, this is certainly not an exaggeration, it is not the only truth. Yes, many people have had contact with dark or demonic energies that show their wrath toward humanity, and these people record this experience through fear and lack of understanding, often as a Fae or Elven encounter. I mean, it's like when you're a kid experiencing your first thunderstorms. You may be terribly frightened of them and hate them.. but once you learn what thunderstorms are, what their purpose is, how they work, and the actual threat level.. you realize that, while the fear is valid, it is not needed. Once you understand, you are no longer afraid. Or at least, you know you don't have to be as afraid as you were. The same goes for adults who have experiences with the supernatural and no way to explain or interpret it. Human nature has the flight or fight instinct and this is grounded in fear to maintain survival. But with wisdom and understanding, we combat this instinct. Also.. I gotta point out that many stories about Fae and Elves in history are simply just... works of fiction meant to scare children or entertain adults (but often inspired by Elven/Fae energies).

////

PART 2 HERE

#mind power #mind power subliminals #subliminals #subliminal videos #subliminal community #elfkin #elvenkin #elven soul #elven awakening #elven light path #elven light #spriritual #spirituality #my ramblings

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