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indigo474 · 10 months

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Bye bye July-

My love affair is over.. I went to see him on Friday after work. Anyone who knows me- hardly anyone-haha- knows i go to bed early. I had to work until 9. I was a little concerned about being tired and showing up in a bad mood. I knew it was going to be a late night for me- but i decided to go for it.. I said to myself... as long as its not raining i'll be ok. I much prefer to drive during the day and night driving combined with rain.. just sucks. I head out after work feeling good. windows down, music up. I get on the turn pike and i was truly happy.. i did notice lightening up ahead but thought it was heat lightening and i was super stocked because i thought mother nature was putting on a spectacular show for me. Then, it started.. the rain, treacherous. it was like an omen.. dont go April, dont go.. but onward i went. i pick him up, he tells me he cooked dinner for us and we need to stop at wawa for bread. ok no problem. i'm still in an OK mood.. happy to be at my destination and looking forward to getting to the hotel to relax, have a beer and eat. Now, i had been thinking this man may not be too bright but... i didnt want to judge too harshly, after all he doesnt speak english and so on..we order 2 rolls from wawa.. in spanish and it was almost like he couldnt read.. we get to the hotel and he tells me he is waiting for them to send the key via notification.. earlier in the week he sent me a screen shot with the reservations. we are in the parking lots its 11 something. the key is not coming.. i say lets go in and see whats up- he says he wants to wait. I ask him how long does he want to wait. We go in and the guy says the reservations were not completed online- my friend needs an id to complete them. he doesnt have an id. It was a fucking disaster. we had to go to another hotel..didnt get there until after 12.. i paid. the sex was ok.. i was pissed, but i was like whatever.. i already had it in my head i was done with him.. he made dinner but failed to have eating utensils. luckly i grabbed napkins from wawa. he tells me he wants to take me to NY.. you cant even book a hotel aint no way in hell im going to NY with you. he tells me he went from mexico, arizona to NY. the first time we were together he told me he was in Charlotte.. i ask him about it and he says he never said that. He said it- i have a real big fucking problem with people who say shit and then say they didnt say it.. like a huge problem.. never speak to you again problem.. He tried extra hard because he knew i was upset. he kept asking me if i was still made.. a little. the next day i tell him i am ready to go as i want to get home. he asked me to take him food shopping.. No, i cant do that. He never offered to give me money for the room. I didnt ask.. i honestly wanted to see what he would do. Nope. it is what it is.. i dont know if the whole room thing was intentional.. im assuming yes.. he texted me a few times yesterday one i got home.. i texted him back saying what a shitty thing he did by not offering money for the room and that i didnt want to see him anymore. the end..

AND.. it was fun, but i knew it wasnt what i wanted. between my thinning hair, aging face, saggy body, i dont know how i'll ever meet someone. i'll have to depend on my winning personality. HAHA.. i text these men online and when i am myself, i never hear from them again. its hard to to think that i am the problem. it doesnt matter if im a good person.. i think a lot of guys want a someone who wants them for the things they can provide.. its easier than putting in any kind of effort. I dont think i want too much.. i just dont know if there is anyone in this world like me. i am going to have to fully embrace my singleness.. i havent wanted to do things alone in a while. i guess i am going to have to start or just not do things. I am trying to save money, so there is that and that is an excuse to not go out. My mind goes back to the fact that i wasted so much of my life with someone who never loved me and raising kids who dont love me.. such a fucking waste and i'm so far behind in life and cant image anyone ever loving me and that breaks my heart. that breaks my heart because thats all i really want.. someone to love and who loves me.. someone who consistently shows up.. someone i can count on.. ive never had that.

My friend in work got her xanax filled- actually got a higher dose too. She tells me she is positive Dr W does not have my records- i told her i was kick out of his office- she said the same thing happened to her years ago.. of course i didnt go into detail. she tells me to go, get what i want.. i know she is telling me because she is trying to be my friend.. i wish i had friends who asked me if i worked out today- or offered to go to the gym with me or asked me who much i lifted this week or maybe told me what kind of supplements they take or asked me what i took.. or shit about pre workout of food prep or asked me about my mental health anything other than where to get drugs.. i don't need anyone giving me advice on how to self destruct- i know i am capable of doing that on my own without the help of anyone.. and i know she's not trying to me mean or hurt me or anything like that- she thinks she is helping me by telling me to go see this Dr.. she doesnt know my story and everything that ive been through- and even if i told her, she still wouldn't know my story. maybe its just what i have to deal with because i told her to go see him.. i only did because i was tired of hearing her say xanax would cure all her problems..

I wanted to run on Friday but got stuck at the mechanics.. i didn't run Thursday so wed was the last time i ran and i didn't lift this week and that probably explains why i feel the way i do.

the weirdest thing. coming home from Downingtown.. i started seeing 3's everywhere.. like i made the right decision and i'm on the right path. trust the process.. the process sucks at times.. and its hard to trust anything..

i have to tell Madison Aunt Joanne is sick.I want to do it before my Mom does. i think Maddy has my Mom blocked.. but i really should tell her. weird thing, when i use to cry everyday you couldnt tell.. i would cry on my lunch break and return to work and my eyes looked fine. i haven't been crying and now when i do.. its so noticeable..

I need to get a new couch and get rid of the one i have. I would like to move but everything is so expensive.. i'm not sure what i am going to do.. i guess i'll keep looking and hope that something good comes my way..

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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Unwanted Intrusions. Yan Childe x Reader

Warnings: Unbalanced power dynamics and suggestive themes. Word count: 1.3k. Note: Reposted due to tumblr’s awful not showing posts in tag problem : ))))

It’s no exaggeration to say this order could keep your parent’s business afloat.

For once, you feel as if the Geo Archon has heard your prayers and answered them. Maintaining your composure has never felt so challenging. Standing just to the side of this godsend customer, a genuine smile adorns your face, hands clasped behind your back. She examines the petals of every blossom with scrutiny. You’re more than confident that the assortment will be to her liking, pearly white qingxin’s that took arduous days to obtain.

All she needs to do is confirm what she spoke about earlier. Lian, as she had introduced herself, is a wedding coordinator for a wealthy merchant in Liyue. As funding isn’t an issue, she had considered purchasing your entire stock for the event. It’s a rather last-minute affair and you can’t imagine any other florists could pull it off. How overjoyed your parents will be when they hear this news, they’ll finally be able to rest easily at night. The financial burden that you’ve sought to relieve them of is just within reach.

Lian straightens her posture and looks to you, clearly pleased and reaching for her Mora purse. “It’s as you said, these qingxin’s have undeniable quality. Now then, let’s--”

“Ah, there you are, [First]! Working hard as ever, I take it. Though, if memory serves, isn’t this your day off?”

No. This can not be happening to you. The timing is far too cruel -- an insult, if anything -- blood draining from your face at the grating sound of Childe’s voice. Lian looks at the Fatui standing by the entrance with palpable disdain, and words escape you entirely. It’s no secret that the Fatui have put a hurting on local business, including the very merchant this wedding is meant to be for. Clearing your throat, you struggle to find your verbal foothold, hoping to salvage the rapidly devolving situation.

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m incredibly busy at the moment.” Your tone is aloof as you can manage. Childe leans against the entranceway, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head. You recognize that damned expression. It’s the look that comes right before Childe throws you to the wolves for his entertainment.

“I don’t mind waiting. We have a lot to go over since our discussion was cut short last time, remember?”

Lian pivots on her heel, already making for the door. “It seems you’re otherwise preoccupied at the moment. Best of luck with your… future endeavors.”

Your jaw is agape as Lian exists with haste. It feels like the Mora you were so close to obtaining slipped through your fingers, hot indignation flaring at Childe’s purposeful interruption. It’d be naïve to think this a mere coincidence. As soon as she’s gone, Childe makes straight for you, sizing up your displeased body language.

“What a shame,” Childe sighs, running a hand through his tousled copper hair. “Do you think it was something I said?”

“Why are you here?” You snap, arms crossing over your chest. The paper-thin patience you have when speaking to Childe is nonexistent this time around. It’s inevitable that every time you’re free of him for a while, that he makes up for it by intruding in the worst ways possible. The past three or so weeks without Childe lingering like a bad omen have been divine. A much-needed reprieve cut short far too soon.

Childe hums, canting his head down to get a closer look at you. “I think that’s rather obvious, [First]. I missed our little chats.”

He sounds pleased with himself. Frowning, you put your hands on his chest and push, hoping to create some space. Childe doesn’t so much as budge at your feeble attempts. His strength might not be noticeable at first glance, as his body is rather lean and slim. Unfortunately for you, it’s on display now, your force not even making him blink. Arms falling limp to your side in defeat, you recognize he’s not going to be giving personal space anytime soon.

“That’s great, but you’re scaring away my customers.” You grumble, standing on your tiptoes to glance over his shoulder. The situation outside makes your stomach churn in displeasure. Just outside the window, you catch the distinctive outfit of two Fatui guards, standing watch on the premises. Any passerby, Liyue natives or not, will undoubtedly be repelled by the sight.

“I would never,” he lets out a dramatized gasp, laughing at the deadpan stare you give in return. “Wow, what an intimidating glare! Endearing as that is, I much prefer how you look when your lips are on my--”

“Be quiet!” You hiss quietly, cheeks set ablaze, the room suddenly feeling too hot. “My parents are upstairs, you idiot.”

There’s a gleam in his eyes at the mention of this that fills you with despair. “That’s actually what I’m here for. I’ve never had the opportunity to introduce myself to them as your partner, isn’t that a custom in Liyue? Family is important, after all, it’s best to respect these things.”

Is that what he considers himself to be? Your partner?

You have no positive emotional connection to Childe, considering the Harbinger to be a persistent blight on your life. Every deplorable favor you exchanged -- at his behest -- was for the sake of alleviating the financial burden on your family. Carnal pleasure for the Fatui to cease harassing over their unpaid debt. What was done in the dark should remain there, as the humiliation attached to it is too great.

“You’re no such thing to me,” comes your detached response, cutting through the air like a knife. Childe’s lips curl into an uncharacteristic frown at your unhesitant rebuke. “For the last time, please leave so I can do my job.”

Silence. There’s no playful quip or arrogant laughter. Only an icy, piercing stare that sends shivers down your spine. You’ve never been on the receiving end of this look from Childe, who always seems to hold nothing but boundless adoration and favor on you. Swallowing thickly, you hold your ground, somehow managing to maintain eye contact.

“No such thing, huh?” He murmurs, your words bitter on his tongue. You shift uncomfortably, fists clenching by your side. Outside, you can hear the sounds of children playing, merchants bartering, and carts going by filled with various goods. The world is at a standstill in your humble store. Neither you nor Childe makes a move, tension steadily increasing as each second passes slower than the last.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Your heart drops. What does he mean by that? Sensing your newfound distress, he pats you on the head, in an act you can only describe as demeaning.

Childe reaches into his pocket, pulling out a personal belonging that sends your head reeling. A dainty necklace, unmistakable in its origin, glistening in front of you temptingly. That’s your mother’s necklace. A family heirloom for centuries, that she painstakingly pawned off to keep the flower shop afloat amidst financial turmoil. Wide-eyed, you reach out for it, only for Childe to lift it above your reach.

He shakes his head, smiling maliciously. “I guess I won’t be needing this any longer. I was hoping to win your parent’s favor with this little gift, but if that’s how you feel, why should I bother?”

“Childe, I’m--”

“Hm, not so cold now, are we?” He laughs, a sound devoid of humanity, placing the necklace away as fast as he took it out. Is this guilt that weighs on your soul? Agony? Hatred? You’re uncertain. Everything is happening too fast to mentally keep up with, Childe once again making a fool of you. You grit your teeth, taking in deep breaths to steady yourself. He stares at you with feigned disinterest.

“If you happen to change your mind,” he starts, turning to leave, “You know where to find me. I’ll be waiting.”

At that moment, you realize, it wasn’t you who had a semblance of control over Childe.

It was him that had you wrapped securely around his finger.

#everyday tumblr makes me more tilted than the last #lets see if it uncucks me #childe x reader #yandere childe x reader #childe #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #yandere tartaglia x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact imagine #my stuff

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totopopopo · 5 years

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You ever be like wow I’m lowkey in a mini crisis so I sure as fuck can NOT concentrate on any of the hundreds of pages of dense biblical analysis that I have to read for tomorrow !!! But I don’t rly have a choice so fuck me I guess !!!!!

#if it were up to me i would be quietly consuming good omens to cope w life problems but it ISNT up to me #i’m like 2 seconds away from walking into my profs office like ‘hey i really need some fucking help not academically just like with life and #youre the one adult in this entire stare that i trust can you please help me’#state*#the only adult in the entire state who i know i can trust and rely on #my fucking little cousin hasnt emailed me back like she said she would and #just #i cant talk to family about it #i cant talk to anyone about her #but if i dont find an adult human to break down and be a kid who doesnt know what shes doing in front of #if i dont find an adult human who can give me love and comfort and support #then i’m gonna rly lose my shit soon

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fipindustries · 3 years

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anyway, so as you guys can probably imagine i finished harrow the ninth

much like gideon, it was a dull and tedious trudge until exactly the midway point and then it just ramps up in a frenetic crescendo and the last 200 page become a mad fevered frenzy culminating in a devastating end

the emotions are just. too much. its all so heightened, there is not a single character who is not absolutely balls to the wall extra as fuck. its one of those unbearably gothic romances where there is essentially no difference between love and hate.

and yet at the same time its so casual, its so chill, it can relax, it can be horny, it can crack silly jokes. i am not the first to point this out of course but the tone of the story whips back and forth between the two moods and yet it never breaks immersion, or if it does is just for the reader to take a step back and have a little giggle, take a lung full of air and sink back into the delicious tragedy of it all. and this dychotomy perfetly reflects the dychotomy between the two main characters, harrow and gideon.

there is this old myth that good omens was written with gaiman making a beautiful tapestry of lore and characters and myth and then terry came in a weaved a bunch of jokes and wordplay and clever clever comments about life and death.

this book feels like it was written by harrow and gideon following much the same process

this is stylized reality sometimes bordering on the cartoonish without ever stopping being delightful, and this stylization really helps you get immersed and accept the world and the characters as they are much as the characters themselves accept whats going on in their lives because its all they know. and so whats really heartbreaking is that one moment, that one single moment in the entire story when someone finally stops and actually acknoledges that, wait, what is happening here is weird and fucked up and is not how things should be in real life. im talking of course about the moment when ortus nigenand finally stands up as the man he is and embraces harrow while saying:

if i had to get pedantic and give some criticism, i do have a bit of a problem with how unspecified necromancy is as a magic system, you never really fully understand how it works or what its limits are or what are its foundational bases so at any point the author can pull anything out of her hat, any last ditch attempt, any last cool trick, any deus ex machina and you are standing there like, well, i guess it was never explicitly said that this couldnt happen so might as well....

so yeah in short, cant wait for the next book where surely it will start in a completly new and confusing setting where we have to get introduced to a bunch of new characters we dont care about (but which we will end up willing to die for by the end) and well spend three hundred tedious pages wondering where the hell are harrow and gideon only for them to show up in the last third and suddenly turn into the greatest book ive ever read in my life.

#harrow the ninth #the locked tomb #what fun!

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fan-clan-fun · 4 years

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Canon Clans Suffixes (with name changes)

Because I find it fun to scrutinize “The Sacred Texts” with a scalpel and a magnifying glass, I like to revamp little things like naming. So here’s my attempt at giving some iota of consistency to this messy world we love. My goals here are to stick to traditionalism, but also throw in some suffixes I personally love and give them meanings. I’ll also include some canon cats whose names I’ve changed to fit this system.

Lovely! Its always helpful to see personal interpretations and preferences for suffixes, everybody has a few they really like!

-claw: a skilled fighter. Classic pick. Cats who get this include Tigerclaw, Hornetclaw (Bramble-), Lionclaw (-blaze), Shrikeclaw (Ivypool), and Juniperclaw.

I see you are changing a lot of the prefixes as well! I do admit I like Shrike and Hornet as prefixes, and Shrikeclaw does seem to fit her quite well.

-cloud: a calm, easygoing cat. Also a classic. Whitestorm has been renamed Whitecloud to fit this and Tree’s clan name is Ashcloud.

-face: a particularly handsome or beautiful cat. I gave this name to Amberface (Berrynose), Tipface (Stemleaf), and Mothface (-wing)

Honestly giving Berrynose a name with the -face suffix would help to explain a lot of the stuff involving him lol.

-fang: good fighter and good hunter. From what I heard, Sparkpelt seemed to need this suffix, so she’s renamed Sparkfang. I don’t know who else would earn this though.

-feather: a medicine cat skilled at reading omens. This is my standard pick. It also lets me keep names like Goosefeather and lets Jayfeather keep his suffix (but he’s renamed to Juniperfeather). Shadowsight also gets this suffix, becoming Shadefeather.

An interesting choice, though I am curious as to why this one was chosen (besides name consistency), what is the reasoning behind it? Do omens often come in the shape of birds? What connects -feather to spirituality?

-flower: a nurturing cat. Many cats get this name. Cloudflower (Moon-), Snowflower (-fur), Willowflower (-breeze) Goldenflower, Aspenflower (Ferncloud), Whiteflower (-wing), Daisyflower, and the one notable tom case, Rockflower (Fernsong).

Pretty standard, although I do like that you give Fernsong a -flower name. I may not have read the arcs past Omen of the Stars but he does have that reputation of being a nurturer.

-foot: a fast cat, also a classic. Spiderleg becomes Spiderfoot and Harespring becomes Harefoot.

-fur/pelt: a cat with nothing really notable about them. Alderheart, Tigerheart, and Kestrelflight become Alderpelt, Adderpelt, and Kestrelfur respectively. Bluestar’s warrior name is still Bluefur.

-heart: a cat with strong morals. Rookheart (Hollyleaf), Rimeheart (Bristlefrost), Mudheart (Hawkfrost), and Smokeheart (Cinder-) all get this suffix, as does Fireboy over here.

I am so glad that you have given both Holly and Hawk the -heart suffix, I think it really does fit them quite well. I will probably fiddle with names a bit when the times come as well for my own writing and giving these two the -heart suffix is one of my plans.

-leaf: a medicine cat skilled in the healing aspect of their job. Spottedleaf got this one, as did Speckledleaf (Brambleberry), Fireleaf (Flametail), and Willowleaf (-shine). I think they may shake things up a little with -root and/or -berry and/or -bark.

Out of curiosity, why would only medicine cats shake it up a little with suffixes? It seems like none of the other suffixes have any of the same meaning.

-nose: an intuitive cat skilled in tracking. Only two notable characters get this, Dovenose and Maplenose (Leafpool).

I actually think these name changes work quite well, and do fit Dove’s power and her abilities.

-path: a cat with an affinity for mentoring. I noticed Rosepetal had five apprentices, so I gave her the name Rosepath.

I’ve heard whispers that -path was used by some people as a mentoring suffix, which is really cool!

-storm: a cat with a turbulent disposition, also classic. Crowstorm (-feather) and Beetlestorm (Breezepelt) get this, as does Dapplestorm (Blossomfall).

I mean the suffix sure does fit those cats.

-stream: a strong swimmer. Silverstream gets this obviously. Not sure who else would get it though because I’m only including it for traditionalism’s sake. It’s not one I’m particularly fond of.

Thats interesting, Im curious as to why? Maybe another suffix like -creek or -leg would be preferable if you dont like the sound?

-stripe: a tabby with distinct stripes. Graystripe gets this and so does Honeystripe (-fern). There’s also -speck and -spots for the other tabby types

-tail: an agile cat, very classic. A lot of cats get this. Cherrytail (Squirrelflight), Birchtail (-fall), Wisteriatail (Twigbranch), Honeytail (Heather-), and a bunch of bg characters with -spring, -leap, or -flight in their names.

-throat: a skilled orator, linguist, bard, storyteller, or just a well-spoken cat. This is a very rare suffix and no notable characters get this.

So I am actually very curious about this, because if a suffix is so rare, that you cant name a cat in the series at all to have it, why is it on the list? Would any cat even remember it if isnt in use? What kind of requirements would you have to have for this suffix, since I cant imagine that there would be many (if any) teenagers/young adults who could be considered masters of speech or storytelling at the 12 moons most cats get their warrior names at. I would suggest if you want to keep a suffix on the list, it should have at least one usage in the clans, else they would forget about it.

-whisker: a prudent hunter. I can’t think of anyone I changed to -whisker on the spot.

And here are some other suffixes I’m indecisive on.

-pad or -shade could be a stealthy cat. Even if I accepted one or the other, it’d be hard to pin down who would get this.

Personally I do think that having a stealth suffix is a pretty good way to expand a more traditional system, because its also a very useful skill. While it can be used in hunting (and some might say a whisker cat is by nature stealthy), a stealthy cat has a separate but partially overlapping set of skills. It does seem like you havent gone through all the names in the many many books so far, so I am sure there are a few cats somewhere who could have qualified for this suffix if you choose to keep it.

Considering -ear or -eye to mean a skilled scout, but that’s overlapping a lot with -nose’s territory, so I’m hesitant in including it.

I agree with you when it comes to -nose, and since -nose already seems to be uncommon, I would think sticking with nose is sufficient.

I considered -stone for the meaning of “a very loyal and dedicated cat”. Not sure about it.

I do like -stone as well, but unless you have a specific cat in mind I probably wouldnt include it.

I’m thinking -pool could be for a wise cat, but I’m not sure about that.

-shine is a cute suffix, but it’s rather hard to work with because it doesn’t mesh well with a lot of prefixes. I could use it to mean “upbeat and cheerful” and give it to Briarlight, but it’s not exactly easy to work with.

-frost is an amazing suffix, but it’s sort of the opposite of -shine. It sounds good with a lot of prefixes, but it’s hard to pin down a meaning for it.

I really like -light as a suffix but dang if it isn’t a monster to work with. It has -shine and -frost’s problems, but I really like it and don’t want to give up on it.

-breeze is a pretty solid suffix, but I’m afraid it’ll be redundant. -foot is pretty solid and I can’t really change that because traditionalism. Maybe it’s like -fang? I’m not sure.

Similarly, I like -thorn and -blaze as suffixes, but they’re pretty hard to work with when you already have names that fill their niches and have the “one suffix per meaning” rule that stricter traditionalism has.

Yeah I see your concern for most these last suffixes. As lovely as they are, unless they have a good solid place in you writing, and cats you can immediately think of using for their names, I wouldnt be too worried about incorporating them into your clans.

Anyway, there’s my suffix list! I hope you enjoyed! And if you have any suggestions, please let me know because I am not bright. Thank you!

#warrior cats #clan culture #warriorsworldbuilding #submission

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love-killed-the-superstar · 3 years

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Pinch Hitter

Written for @codesecretsanta 2020!!

Hey, @nemesisadraste!! It’s me, your secret santa!! I heard you wanted a slice of samodd so I was ofc 100000% down to clown. Hope you enjoy!!!! It’s a little group chat heavy and I apologise, but there’s some actual prose around the halfway point haha

Can also be read here on AO3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323549

ngl I would actually recommend reading it on ao3 because of formatting hahaha but anyway enjoy!!

Pinch Hitter

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(11:43PM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMM

(11:45PM) Sam Suarez: yyyyea?

(11:45PM) Odd Della Robbia: XANA ATTACK. NUCLEAR SHIT. COVER FOR US PLSSSS SHOULDNT BE TOO LONG 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: sure thing sure thing go save the world n shit 👍👍

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: was only going to stay up late rewatching good omens anyway

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: hero. incredible woman. love of my life

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: and say hi to you know who for meeeee 😻

(11:48PM) Sam Suarez: crowley is a fictional character odd, he cant hear you

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: but he's so sexy and strong 😻😻😻

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: not as sexy and strong as you, ofc ofc

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: jesus odd go save the world already and leave me alone

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: SO COLDDDD 🙀🙀🙀

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: still love you tho

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: still love you too ok NOW GO

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Jeremie Belpois

(1:24AM) Jeremie Belpois: Samantha?

(1:27AM) Sam Suarez: sup belpois

(1:27AM) Jeremie Belpois: Motion sensor went off. Pretty sure Jim is out and about. Try to buy us some time?

(1:28AM) Sam Suarez: shit alright. i'll see what i can do. b-team already know???

(1:29AM) Jeremie Belpois: They do. The four of you work something out, please? Thanks.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: ofc. hey btw hows odd doing??? ok???

(1:30AM) Jeremie Belpois: 80 life points and going strong, Sam.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: sweet 👍👍

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:31AM) Sam Suarez: what's our plan then home slices!!!!!!! 💪😤

(1:32AM) William Dunbar: Still don't know why I'm considered a b teamer but okay 😒

(1:32AM) Sam Suarez: don’t fucking complain william at least you get to be in the main group chat, 🙄🙄

(1:32AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ^^^^^^

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: Try getting added, then removed, and still being on the waitlist to rejoin

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: ouch lol

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: ANYWAY, we need a plan of action. Jim’s doing the rounds. Any thoughts?

(1:33AM) William Dunbar: I’ll go stuff Jeremie’s duvet 🙋♂️ Laura you go to Aelita’s, Sam come up with some sort of distraction 👉

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: hold on WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH THE HARD JOB?? 😠😠

(1:34AM) William Dunbar: to prove yourself, young one. how else do you plan on getting into the lyoko warriors group chat?? 🤷♂️

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: SHIT U RIGHT… 👀

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: its my chance… to shine

(1:34AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Why does everyone forget im fucking here?? Give me something to do????? 🙋😤🤦♀️

(1:35AM) William Dunbar: nobody forgot you sissi, shit 🙄 take odd and ulrichs room, if u think u can wrangle kiwi 🥝

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: i would like it on the record that i did in fact forget about sissi 🙋🙋

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: FUCK NO. THAT DOG DOES NOT RESPECT ME 😤😤😤😤😤

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Also RUDE..

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: priorities babe or the fucking world ends. your call tho!!!!!! ✌️🤪

(1:36AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ………………. F I N E 🤦♀️

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:59AM) William Dunbar: @Sam Suarez What did you tell Jim?????? He’s 100% doing head counts now you dumb fuck 🤦♂️

(1:59AM) Sam Suarez: don’t take that tone with me dickbar, he’s looking for a sick GIRL. if you stuffed the fucking duvets properly we won’t have a problem, he’ll only be peeking into rooms anyway 😠😠

(2:00AM) Laura Gauthier: And what do you suppose happens when he finds NOBODY and comes to the conclusion that you lied to him? You have to think these things through, Sam, Jeremie’s not planning on doing any return trips if he can help it.

(2:00AM) Sam Suarez: yall are jerks, YOU put me up to the task of cooking up an excuse, don’t complain that it was shit!!!! geez!!!!

(2:00AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: God you’re all useless. I can fake-cry, I took a drama workshop over summer. I’ll take the hit but you OWE ME. 😤

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: there are no favours in this sissi, we took an oath. we are heroes of justice now and you don’t get compensation for saving the world, its superhero 101

(2:01AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Shut up Sam, you’re buying me dinner tomorrow. Take me somewhere nice 💅🙆😘

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: but i don’t date girls who only save the world to reap the benefits, this simply won’t work out 😔😔

(2:01AM) William Dunbar: Take your flirting to private message, I don't want to be implicated in this sordid affair if Odd finds out

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: ahahahahahahaahahahaha we got a funny man over here

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Lololol

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: I can hear Jim coming, play it cool

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Hahahaaha good luck 😂😂

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: You all alive……………..? 👀

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: we sure are, listen to this

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: sissi fake cried, told Jim she was having the worst cramps of her life and started listing off the side effects of the birth control she’s on. It was the greatest thing ive ever heard and im absolutely buying her dinner tomorrow, and yes it will be candle-lit 🍽️🍷💍

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: Holy shit. 👀 My deepest respect. 🙏 I will put in a good word with Master Belpois Himself, she deserves a seat at the grown ups table for this 🤷♂️

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: no doubt no doubt

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: That was a close one. Sissi’s methods are unorthodox but hey, it worked. Next time find an excuse that doesn’t create more work for us, all right, Sam?

(2:08AM) Sam Suarez: shit you’re ungrateful as fuck. Damn . 🙄🙄

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: I’M JUST SAYING

(2:08AM) William Dunbar: Come on, lets not fight, I’m too tired for this shit 😴

(2:09AM) Sam Suarez: so go to bed, dumbass

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(2:59AM) Odd Della Robbia: guess who just got DEVIRTUALISED!!!! 😹😹🔫🔫

(3:02AM) Sam Suarez: oh no, poor baby, you were doing so well

(3:03AM) Odd Della Robbia: right????? fucking megatanks, im telling you, they suck so much 😿

(3:03AM) Sam Suarez: well, if you’re out of points now, come by my room and we can play animal crossing together

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: would that i could, sam, would that i could

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: but theres a fucking building contractor lurking somewhere in the factory, xana-possessed, trying to take me the fuck OUT 🙀🙀🙀

(3:04AM) Sam Suarez: just tell him you’re not interested????? Its what i told sissi earlier

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: ahahahahahahahaha

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: first of all, WOW WE GOT A FUNNYMAN OVER HERE

(3:05AM) Sam Suarez: lololol

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: second of all, i demand to hear that story as soon as i get back. Nobody turns sissi down and gets away with it 👀

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: well, i cant help it

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: my heart… belongs to another… a mr odd della robbia… im in the throes… of love… 💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: OH!!! SAM!!!!!!! 😻😻😻💓💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: luv u. So much

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: same same lololol

(3:07AM) Odd Della Robbia: when i get back we ca

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: ????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: odd????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: come in, funny man????

message failed

(3:08AM) Sam Suarez: odd if you die i will be so mad

message failed

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Ulrich Stern

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Hey Sam, it’s Ulrich

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Einstein has another favour to ask

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: first of all you dont have to tell me its you, the app TELLS me whos messaging me, this isnt a text

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: second, tell me my boyfriend isn’t getting fucking murdered by a building contractor 😠😠

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Huh???

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Oh yeah. He’s holding his own but there’s not much time. You need to go keep watch outside Jeremie’s door while Laura transfers some files. If we get busted and she can’t complete the file transfer… well. The world does actually depend on it, so. Yeah

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: isnt william the better option anyway?? Isnt he only like 3 doors down from you 🙄

(3:12AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s not answering. Probably asleep already, he’s a dumbass. Please, you’re our only option, Sissi isn’t answering either

(3:12AM) Sam Suarez: oh theres a GREAT story behind that but i’ll let her tell it tomorrow

(3:13AM) Sam Suarez: and fine, but seriously is odd okay?? If this dude is more than 5’5 he’ll have a problem taking him down, you know how scrawny he is

(3:13AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s tougher than you think, Sam. Trust me on that one.

(3:14AM) Ulrich Stern: (Also I am about to go save him from getting his ass beat)

(3:14AM) Sam Suarez: all right all right

(3:15AM) Sam Suarez: but hey stern, when this has all blown over, we’re having a serious talk about promoting me to the big leagues

(3:16AM) Ulrich Stern: ...Big leagues?

(3:16AM) Sam Suarez: im talking main group chat, my guy. MAIN. GROUP CHAT. 👏👏

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(3:30AM) Odd Della Robbia: im coming mi amore… i beat up a fully grown man with my bare fists… pushed him down some stairs… it was amazing 😼💯

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: please say you didnt break any bones, belpois isnt planning on reversing time right???

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: like even if was going to kill u he was only possessed by xana

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: heh i broke nothing!! Im a hero of justice after all 💪😼

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: ulrich may have given him some bruises tho 😹

(3:32AM) Sam Suarez: ehh i’ll take that over this guy waking up with fucked up limbs and shit

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: no doubt no doubt

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: …

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: anyway, night sam 💞

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: oh, ok 🙄

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: night, stupid. love you ❤️

…

Despite his parting message, Odd shows up anyway.

He slinks into her dorm room as it draws to 4:00AM, half-heartedly kicking off his shoes at the door and closing it with a softness that’s surprising given how exhausted he looks; almost as though it is second nature at this point to keep quiet, avoid drawing more attention. Her boyfriend is a professional, after all, when it comes to saving the world on the down-low.

Samantha watches Odd from her desk, where she is sat up browsing Twitter and waiting for the inevitable ‘we need you to do something else before the night is through’ messages from Jeremie. She’s been listening to the same Jay Som song on loop for over an hour now, and it leaks quietly from her laptop speakers, a strange extra layer of ambiance to the puzzle that is the hour before birdsong begins. A Baymax-patterned blanket is thrown around her shoulders for warmth, and there’s an empty can of energy drink within arms reach.

“Wrong room,” she says in a low voice, expecting him to jump anyway; he doesn’t. Instead he squints at her in the dim light, leaning back against the door with a weary sigh. “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Wasn’t, but… here I am.”

He doesn’t really elaborate further than that.

“Ulrich know you came this way?”

“He stayed behind to talk things over with Jeremie. The overbike got fucked up in Lyoko and they’re gonna upgrade it or something. Jer-bear needed to know the specifics about his experience driving it so they can do some fine-tuning, I think. Y’know, so he doesn’t drift too far and plunge into the digital sea. Shit can get real bad, real fast.”

“I’ll bet. So, you triumphed over evil tonight?” she guesses, shutting her laptop lid and rising to her feet. Her blanket trails behind her as she does. “XANA can’t attempt to destroy the world for another 24 hours?”

“You know it,” he says, yawning. “And now, it’s bedtime.”

Thank fuck they don’t have classes tomorrow. She’ll happily lie in til noon with Odd, catching up on these lost hours.

Sam steps over her skateboard and some laundry she kicked aside earlier, a little embarrassed that her floor is so messy, but she knows Odd is too tired to even comprehend the state of her room right now. As it is, he’s swaying a little while standing, stifling a yawn against his hand - it’s only a matter of time til he crashes.

“All right, guess you’re here to stay. Hop in.”

“Did you know? You’re a goddess. An angel. A truly spectacular woman among women,” he mumbles.

“Flattery won’t give me back the hours of sleep I lost sending Jim on that wild goose chase earlier,” Sam muses, wiggling under her covers, still bundled up in the blanket like a crepe. She doesn’t know the full story, nor does she imagine she’ll get it until tomorrow when the group meet up for lunch - something about XANA threatening to blow up a reactor on some nearby building site, creating some devastating damage to the local area - but at this point she’s too tired to listen and Odd is too tired to explain.

Odd flops down on the bed beside her.

“Thank you for helping us out,” he sighs, too tired to even look at her. His limbs are all floppy. If she nudged him off the edge of the bed now, he’d probably just fold up like a pair of pants and stay there til morning. “What did you do, exactly?”

“Told him I heard someone crying in the bathroom and thought maybe someone was unwell,” she says with a shrug. “Jim checked the girls bathroom and did room checks, which gave me, William and Laura some time to sneak into your respective rooms and act as extra head counts. Just being under the covers was enough, I don’t think he was doing anything more than cursory peeking into rooms with a tiny flashlight. Wasn’t the most innovative red herring to give him, but it did the trick.”

“If it keeps them off our backs, the creativity isn’t worth factoring in,” Odd murmurs, tugging off his jeans and chucking them at the wall opposite. The impact scuffs the wall slightly, but Sam doesn’t care. Delmas doesn’t give them shit about damages to the room unless it makes the room completely uninhabitable anyway, which is why there’s a literal hole in her wall through to the room next door that she’s had to artfully cover with a Front Bottoms poster.

“Anyway, Sissi distracted him. I’ll let her tell the story herself, it was fucking hilarious. Then Ulrich messaged to say he needed me to keep watch while Laura sent over some files from the computer in Jeremie’s room to the supercomputer, which - I mean, in this day and age, why the fuck doesn’t he keep everything on the cloud anyway? So I was stuck doing that, because apparently, William had already fallen asleep again, the fucking lug. Can you believe that? You’d think, being your Lyoko pinch hitter and all, he’d be better at staying awake.”

“Oh, I can believe it,” Odd drawls, tugging off his shirt and balling it up, sending it to land atop his crumpled jeans with a flourish. He rubs his eyes and peers around. “Got that old shirt for me to sleep in?”

Rolling her eyes fondly, Sam reluctantly peels back the bedsheets once more and pads over to her wardrobe, pulling it open and sifting through until she finds what she’s looking for; an old Hootie & The Blowfish T-shirt, handed down to her by one of her older brothers. It always hangs right off of her, so on Odd’s scrawny frame, it’s basically an Ebenezer Scrooge nightgown.

“Here.” She tosses it over to him and he wriggles into it happily. “You might as well keep it, these days you wear it more than me.”

“If I walked around in a band shirt that hangs off me like a smock I’d never hear the end of it from Ulrich,” he says with a laugh, flopping back against the covers and sighing deeply. “He makes fun of my little chicken legs enough as it is.”

“Well, I love your little chicken legs, so he can keep his opinions to himself.”

She slides into bed beside him and he’s cold to touch; the freezing factory, coupled with walking back in the chilly night air, must have really done a number on him. He snuggles against her happily, mumbling, “Can I warm my feet on you?”

“Will you respect my wishes if I say no?” she retorts. He grins as she sends him a knowing look, before placing his feet, two tiny, stinky blocks of ice, against her shins. They both pull the covers up over their noses, staring at the ceiling in dazed silence for a few moments, before she adds, “He won’t miss you when you get back?”

“Not likely, I don’t fucking spoon him to sleep, Sam,” he snorts. “He’ll be too tired to care where the fuck I’ve snuck off to, and he can handle anything Kiwi throws his way, so it’s fine. I’m sure he’s capable of connecting the dots.”

“Fine, shithead, I’ll drop it.”

She continues to stare up at the ceiling, but she can feel his keen gaze on her, and rolls over to face him. He watches her carefully.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No.”

“Even though it’s nearly four in the morning and you spent the whole night covering for us?”

“It’s what happens when you agree to saving the world, isn’t it?” she points out. Sam’s eyes adjust to the darkness, and she notices for the first time that there’s the beginnings of bruises around his neck. She reaches up to trace them with her fingers, and he instinctively wriggles away. Her breath catches in her throat. “…XANA did this to you?”

“Actually, it was a building contractor,” he corrects. “He started to choke me, but then Ulrich got him in a headlock and next thing you know… we pushed him down some stairs.”

“It must have been scary,” she mutters. At that, his face melts into a smile, and he prods at her face.

“You’re so serious! Sam, trust me, this happens all the time. I’m indestructible, so it’s fine.”

“How else am I supposed to react, huh? My boyfriend comes home with strangulation marks on his neck and you want me to be all cavalier about it…”

“Because I’m used to it.” Odd pauses. “Well, not strangulation in particular, but getting hurt on the job is kinda everyday stuff.”

Sam scowls. “You're not supposed to pretend like this is normal, Odd.”

“What, you want me to cry and be vulnerable on you?”

“No.”

“You do.”

“Okay, fine, I do! What about it?!” She fixes him with a stern look. “You have to be careful! What��s the point in me staying awake and making distractions and shit if you’re just going to fucking die at the end of it, huh?”

“I’m not going to die.” He cups her face in his hands and fixes her with his own stern look. “Look. I know you haven’t been doing this long, but this happens, okay? Not always, but it does. I mean, you remember the kind of fights you used to pick with me when I would come over with these bruises without telling you why.”

She thinks back to the months leading up to him finally telling her the truth. How scared and hurt she felt, seeing him with these cuts and scrapes, bruises, occasionally even a sprain. She’d gone through all the possibilities in her head - bullying, hate crimes, mugging even. Still, he refused to budge, until one day he just… stopped pretending it was all some big coincidence.

“It was scarier not knowing,” she decides. “At least this way I know what you’re up against, but… I don’t know.”

He leans forward and kisses her on the nose. “I promise you I’m fine. But look, part of being a Lyoko pinch hitter is knowing things get hairy sometimes. I’m gonna get hurt from time to time but if I don’t, the whole world explodes. Or, okay, maybe not literally , most of the time, but I’m like, a drop in the bucket.”

“Well, you’re a drop in the bucket who matters to me,” she reinforces. Staring into his eyes, she can feel her body relax slightly. “Look, I’ll drop it. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Good. Now, can we please sleep? I am so tired, I’m starting to forget who I am. You’re about to encounter Grinch Odd, and he’s no fun whatsoever.”

“Oh, is he the one who said my face looked like a beet that one time?” she wonders, raising her eyebrows at him. He groans and pushes her away, covering his face with his hands.

“How many times do I have to tell you XANA fucked with my speech?” he grumbles. “Completely scrambled my words. I was going for beautiful.”

“Sure, sure. When in doubt, blame it on XANA?”

“I mean it! I would never call you a beet! A potato, maybe…”

She shoves him and he both winces and laughs. “Oof, that guy did a number on me.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll beat him up for you then.”

“You’re going to beat up XANA?”

“Sure, how hard could it be? I’ll just like, reach into the supercomputer with my full fist-”

They both burst out laughing and fall back against the pillows.

Once it trickles out, she blinks sleepily at the ceiling.

“I never really thought about how long you guys have been going without us, though.”

Odd quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Us. The B-Team, the Pinch Hitters. The Lyoko Warriors’ freaking PR Team! Without someone pulling the strings you must have run into all sorts of trouble, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Odd laughs. “We used to have the authorities trying to invade the factory. Almost got expelled by Delmas. I almost got sent to a psych ward before, that was fun.”

“Jesus, Odd. Why did it take you so long to introduce other people to the fray?”

He shrugs. “No clue, really. One day we just kinda realised… sometimes it’s better to have people around. No man is an island. That can apply to groups too, I guess.”

“And why would you trust me?” Sam presses on, arms folded over her chest. “Sure, I’m your girlfriend, but I’ve hurt you before. I mean really fucked you over. That whole thing with William…”

“You had no way of knowing,” he says firmly. “It was stupid and immature, sure, but how could you have known?”

She shrugs. “I’ve just been thinking about it, I guess.”

They both lapse into silence, but beneath the covers, Odd reaches for her hand.

“I trust you because I trust you,” he says eventually. “And because if we need some big Lyoko Warriors PR Team, I’d want you at the helm. Who else is going to keep William from swaggering off the side of the planet? He can be kinda self-absorbed.”

“Sissi,” Sam deadpans.

“And who else is going to keep Sissi from turning every XANA distraction into a fucking performative art piece?”

“...Okay, fair.”

“By the way, you still taking her out to dinner tomorrow?”

“Apparently. You should tag along as my date.”

He laughs. “No way, I’m no third wheel.”

Sam leans forward and kisses him gently, before muttering, “By the way, I told Ulrich to get me in the main group chat. Think he’ll do it?”

“Absolutely not,” Odd says cheerfully, kissing her back. “But nice try. Here’s to next time.”

…

GROUP CHAT: Into The Lyokoverse

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois added Sam Suarez to Into The Lyokoverse.

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois: @Everyone Look who decided to show up!

(9:52AM) Yumi Ishiyama: Oh Hi Sam

(9:59AM) Aelita Schaeffer: hey, look who made it to the big leagues!!

(10:10AM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!

(10:12AM) Sam Suarez: !!!!!!!!

#codesecretsanta #code secret santa #code secret santa 2020 #code lyoko #code lyoko evolution #samodd #writing

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praetor-of-fandoms · 5 years

Text

So,I finally started watching Good Omens,’Cause tumblr. This is me watching the show:

God is a woman. Love this show already

“Most Books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because men wrote them.”

“Don’t you dare say I’m nice.” and now,kiss

The anti-Christ’s “toesie-woesis”

Naming the hell hound “dog”

The scene at the beginning when Aziraphale puts his wings over Crowley as Crowley simultaneously moves under Aziraphales’s wing when it starts raining. Almost Like a reflex. That was so fucking cute I kept rewinding and watching.

“You hit someone.” “I didn’t. Someone hit me.”

“Get in,angel.” idk why but that made me feel feelings

“Ducks! That’s what water slides off!”

We now know why unicorns don’t exist

Crawley —> Crowley

“Well you were a snake.”

“Still a demon? What kind of question is that? What else am I going to be? An aardvark?”

The way Crowley walks( I haven’t seen any of David’s other work so I don’t know if that’s just how he walks but this gives Crowley so much character).

When Crowley ‘rescues’ Aziraphale during world war 2...so much chemistry in that scene...my heart..,

How hurt Crowley was when aziraphale said “fraternising”

“Kill them,they’re vey irritating.”

Crowley pointing upwards immediately after(bc bomb)

Crowley saving Aziraphale’s books

The way Aziraphale looks at him after...my heart

“Are you a witch?” “No,I’m an occultist.” “Oh,that’s alright,then.”

The scene at the bandstand...everything about that had me crying

The anti-Christ is...good??

“One big Avocado.”

Wait no the anti-Christ is bad

When Crowley wants Aziraphale to run away with him to Alpha Centauri

A PASSERBY THINKS THEY’RE A COUPLE MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS

Crowley and Hastur travelling through the telephone system

Crowley trapping Hastur- that’s one smart asf demon

The world ending and they’re just there...kissin’

When Aziraphale realised that god wants a war...my smol Baby I cant

“Oh...fuck.” ok 10/10. Wasn’t expecting that at all

You’re my best friend playing when the entire place is burning down...what kind of sick irony

“Aziraphale, for God’s...for Satan’s AHH for somebody’s sake,where are you?!”

“Somebody killed my best friend” I’m not crying,you’re crying

Crowley being devastated over Aziraphale’s death

Somebody to love playing when Crowley exits the bookshop

“And then you turn up, late for Armageddon,no flaming sword,not even a body, you pathetic excuse for an angel!”

“I suppose I am,really.” Aziraphale, nooo we love youu don’t say it like thattt

Crowley became a demon because he was...bored??

“Wiggle-on” WTF DO YOU MEAN AZIRAPHALE. WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN AHHHHH

Ok I know this is bad but the horsemens’ entrance is epic asf

WTF was that seance scene

Crowley getting past the fire is EPIC

Everything about Aziraphale in miss Tracy’s body

“Right now that’s someone else’s problem.” Big mood

“I’m getting quite calmy worried.” Such a mood. 10/10

Horsemen or power rangers?? Guess we’ll never know

Wait Adam’s good again wtf

Also the irony in the anti-Christ being named Adam.

*Gates open automatically* which one of you young men did that? Okay, those kids are in trouble

“Could do with a few houseplants”

“Guys, you shouldn’t gone to all the trouble.” Crowley, you sassy bitch

Crowley’s car burning...I felt that

“It’s ‘kick’ butt for heavens sake.”

“Oohh cant believe I just said that.”

I like how it’s Crowley leading first then Aziraphale in the animation.

“I believe in peace,bitch” WHAT AN ICON

So Crowley came up with something just ‘cause he couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to talk to Aziraphale again? Yeah,tell me they’re not dating

So you’re telling me Crowley just knows what ice cream Aziraphale wants? Yeah,they’re dating

Ok but Michael had like a jug of holy water...how tf is more than half the tub full

“Shut your stupid mouth, and die already” BITCH HOW DARE YOU TALK TO MY SMOL CHILD LIKE THAT

HE ENTERED THE FIRE

I was honestly expecting them to save each other somehow...unless...

Everything about Crowley in the bath

“I don’t supposed that anywhere in the nine circles of hell there’s such a thing such as a rubber duck.” Crowley, do you seriously think now is the time to be sassy?

Splashing holy water all around sassily

I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW THEY SWITCHED SOMEHOW

Lunch at the Ritz...bitch they’re a couple idc what anyone says

I NEED MORE OF THIS SHOW I

#good omens #crowley #crawley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen #textpost

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communistvashoth · 5 years

Text

little. wafle about good omens and the queerbaiting thing

i want to preface this by saying i love both neil gaiman and terry pratchett; i love their books, i think they’re great authors, and i think they’ve both done wonderful, progressive things in their various works, good omens being no exception. i dont think good omens is awful and homophobic, im not trying to “cancel” anyone, i just want to share my perspective on why, maybe, in this instance, this time, neil gaiman has not handled this particular issue with all the grace and tact he maybe could have.

for the record, the stir about good omens and queerbaiting -which, from what i have seen, is a very gentle stir, more of a mild disgruntlement than actual, angry discourse- isn’t because “crowley and aziraphale didnt kiss/fuck on screen, therefore it’s not canon therefore it’s queerbaiting!”. i have seen literally no one say that. the reason people are put out, again, very mildly, is because it wasnt made canon in any way. it’s not that people think there must be kissing and/or fucking for a relationship to be canon. they could have said “i love you” or held hands or leaned their heads on each other’s shoulders or anything else like that. there are a million ways to communicate explicitly that two characters have a romantic relationship without showing kissing or fucking. and they also could have just not made them canon and not mentioned it, and be done with it. people would have been disappointed, but it wouldn’t really be queerbaiting.

the issue people have is that the possibility is brought up, but only as a joke; both the book and the show do this. someone consoles aziraphale on the street after seeing what they interpret as a break up between him and crowley, one of the angels calls crowley his boyfriend, shadwell calls him a pansy; in the book, aziraphale is literally described as appearing gay to people who meet him, anathema assumes he and crowley are a couple, and at one point, he’s called a f*ggot (which, im not pointing out as like a callout, it’s not shown as good, but it still happens). it’s just that when people said “hey, what about this, but genuinely?” that the response became “oh no, these man-shaped beings are actually genderless and don’t have sexualities and we won’t confirm or deny that they’re in love” which. is kind of a cop out. and i can respect authors leaving things ambiguous; no one is obligated to be explicit about things. but they’re not genderless anywhere else; they’re described as men, they look like men, they’re received and treated like men, they assume the roles of men, and they have their relationship called gay as a joke like men. if they’re not men enough to be gay, why are they men enough to be “f*ggot”?

the issue here, for many people, if being able to point to something and say “these characters are queer. this story is about queer love. queer love is valuable and beautiful and it belongs in stories, and it’s in this one, and you cant do anything about it.” saying “they aren’t queer but they aren’t not queer” does not give us that ability.

AND THAT’S FINE

no one is obligated to make their work political like that. the problem arises when the interpretation “these characters are queer” is met with “no, they’re not, and you can’t prove they are” which it always, always is. characters are assumed heterosexual, always, period. queer interpretations will always take a back seat, they will always be seen as a bit weird and a bit ridiculous. so when there is nothing explicit in the text (meaning obvious, unassailable, indisputable) that marks a character or a relationship as queer, then it isn’t. it’s not canon unless it’s made canon. all the swelling music and longing looks in the world can be written off; if you have to write lists and essays as evidence that something is queer, it’s not canon. maybe it’s coded all to hell, but it’s no canon. and, again, that’s fine. what isnt fine, though, is actively making fun of the queer interpretation, within the text. if there is a joke or a jab from a villain about two people being “boyfriends” it only works if they’re not. if someone is called a “f*ggot” or “pansy” it’s only lighthearted if they’re not. if someone consoles a character about a break up, it’s only a joke if it’s a misunderstanding. so if those things are present in the text, and they are supposed to be jokes, they are textual evidence that the characters and relationship are not queer. and there are no equal and opposing jokes in support.

that is why people are unhappy. because they had the option of turning a joke of “look at these two guys, arent they gay, isnt that funny” into an actual queer story, and almost everyone wanted them to. and they weren’t afraid of pissing people off; they made adam and eve black, they gave god a woman’s voice, they made war a woman, they showed a quite brutal scene of jesus’ crucifixion, they made demons appealing and angels unsettling, they wrote a comedy about revelations, they were not worried about upsetting anyone. they could absolutely have made crowley and aziraphale queer. but they didn’t. they chose not to. neil gaiman chose not to. put that all together, and, yeah, that feels a lot like queerbaiting, especially since, from what i can tell, the crowley/aziraphale shippers have been the ones keeping their little fandom going for years.

it’s not because people cant conceptualise of a romance denoted by anything but sexual intimacy. it’s because the story is full of gay jokes, but when people said, “so are they gay?” they got a noncommittal answer that every homophobic asshole will point to for the rest of time as evidence that there’s nothing queer in the canon, and they’ll be right.

#my posts #good omens #good omens spoilers

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bigbadwolf-16 · 3 years

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i had bonus thoughts about rahool and drifter so here they are

rahool and drifter arent dating but they could be in a world where drifter isnt an insane feral spaceman with rabies and heres the thing about that;

rahool knows it. hes intelligent and perceptive, he can see that theres something there, he knows how to tell when drifter likes someone and when hes playing games, but he can also see theyre so immensely different in some very critical ways that he knows it wouldnt work -- that doesnt stop him from casually looking the other way while drifter breaks rules, though and, hey, its been a long time since anyone's flirted with him even jokingly and he could use a little bit of harmless fun in his daily life.

because rahool is very. i dont want to say traditional? because that doesn't feel quite right, but if he were looking for a relationship with anyone, he would want stability and some level of sanity. something relaxed, something low stakes. hanging out with someone as unhinged as drifter is fun and, dont get him wrong, drifter is fascinating, but being friends with a nutjob and being in a relationship with one are two completely different levels of intensity. if youre friends with someone crazy, its easier to tap out of an insane adventure and be like no. nope, this is where i get off, good luck with that thing youre doing. and when youre dating one, the expectation to be there extends beyond the initial headcount when you get on the bus; its more intimate, its more personal, and rahool doesnt excel in intimacy. he doesnt have time for it, he doesnt have time for sidelong glances and dinner dates, and he doesnt have any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate with anyone. all the better because when was the last time drifter had a heart-to-heart with anyone where he wasn't cornered and down to his very last handful of quips, looking like a dog about to bite?

neither of them want to be that close to someone; rahool because he doesnt feel like its necessary and drifter because hes literally incapable of that level of trust to such an extent i wouldnt put it past him to sabotage a relationship, intentionally or subconsciously, when it gets to a level that makes him nervous.

and thats not to say rahool a fair-weather friend, because youd be hard-pressed to find someone more resolutely loyal than him just because, as far as hes concerned, it makes sense, but rahool operates in a black and white world where drifter exists solely in gray. drifter will break rules, he'll break laws, he'll break the fucking geneva convention for a laff and all for a bigger picture that only people like drifter or eris or elsie could understand. people who havent just been touched by madness, theyve been consumed. theres things out there bigger than rules and patterns and its that level of unknown danger that rahool just cant jive with - even as a man of science who actively pursues answers, there are just some that hes more content not knowing because knowing opens doors that he doesnt want to be pushed through. hes not osiris.

and drifter? oof. i dont think he longs for companionship, hes done perfectly well on his own for centuries give or take flings or brief friendships that were the perfect means to an end and partners that got snuffed because they got a little bit too close to the truth of the universe, and he knows that things dont last. nothing is eternal and when youre a lightbearer, even a rogue one, not even death is forever until you piss off the wrong people. hes spent his whole second life in survival mode because thats where the excitement is. thats where the bloodthirsty thrive. he could have stayed on earth, grown with the city, been some rule-following stooge barking at the vanguard about how this or that isnt fair or just, but instead he decided to live his life on the bleeding edge and thats where hes at his best.

where black and white break into gray and theres no right or wrong answer for anything so long as survival is still the final result and theres probably some good in him somewhere, you think, but nobody knows the motives behind his cooperation. every so often you catch a glimpse beneath the curtain where the man who talks about a good old-fashioned hive stew around the campfire and interdimensional space monsters becomes a man who can snatch a chunk of the nine realms and tether it to his ship, build a machine overnight that can decrypt the impossible when the cryptarchs themselves have spent uncounted years just trying to crack one sequence of code with lost knowledge only recently unearthed, and who somehow always has an answer for an insurmountable problem that even the greatest minds of the golden age just couldnt quite reach - a man, not a legend, whos not so much clinging to the last thread of his sanity as he is bungie jumping from the end of it because there are answers at the bottom of this chasm and so long as hes got his gun and his wits, he'll bounce back when he reaches the end.

to rahool, the drifter is incomprehensible, fascinating, ingenious, dangerous, and strange, and he wants to see more so he keeps a close eye on what the drifter lets him see, never under any illusion that hes gaining some unknown insight beyond what anyone else could find if they kept up - and very few can keep up. it takes a special kind of lunatic to understand the drifter, but all you need to see him is the knowledge that some things just have to be done for the greater picture and fussing over politics and tiptoeing around hard truths just isnt the way.

to drifter, rahool is the path of least resistance to information he finds useful, yes, but hes also someone (like eris) who doesnt expect him to follow protocols and doesnt expect him to be anything but reprehensible and gross, but also understands that - at least on a surface level, because the real hand cant be shown until the right time - drifter is also a man hellbent on making sure humanity is ready for whats coming next, because hes one of few who's not just seen it, but knows what needs to be done to stand against it. its coming, it cant be avoided, it cant be fought with heavy artillery and hope. he can rely on rahool not to try and stop him, not because hes stringing rahool along for the long con, but because deep down rahool understands that sometimes you need to get your hands dirty and not worry about what other people are going to think about it. theres just enough of a bastard in him to be worth liking, and drifter can respect that.

theres a part in good omens, speaking of, that kind of sums up drifters deal and why i think rahool would be so interested him exceptionally well and its this: "God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

that, in a man, is what fascinates rahool so much and he splits his time between trying to solve immensely complex lattices of ancient code and trying to solve drifter and most days hes not sure which one is more impossible. but he does know one of the two slings a mean drink and isnt bad company when he isnt portraying himself as a man who isnt bothered by anything, is dangerous to even know, and who can and will eat anything that doesnt somehow manage to eat him first - and even thats up for debate if youve heard his stories. there are so many layers to the drifter that rahool could spend the rest of his life digging and still never break through the outermost surface and when your job is the scifi equivalent of data entry on roids, he's up for a challenge where hangups and failures still give interesting returns.

#meta #this got long im s osorry

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caffedrine · 6 years

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Impressions - Day Dream Lover Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The Sleepy Mouse’s Gift

It’s a long chapter, which I think could have been broken down into at least two shorter chapters. But we finally are introduced to Pierce, the other character on the cover!

As a quick reminder, the last chapter ended with Gray discovering Alice and Nightmare are sleeping together. Like the game, they’re not actually having sex, they’re just sleep-sleeping together. However, Gray thinks the former is going on.

This chapter starts three time periods later with Alice finding Gray with a small library of wedding catalogues that he wants to go over together with her. He is leaning towards a garden wedding, but he is concerned that Nightmare is too weak to handle direct sunlight. Alice is bewildered by this sudden development, and eyes the catalogues that include honeymoon destination spots.

Meanwhile, Gray is still talking about how Nightmare won’t have to do anything for this wedding since as the bride Alice will be the focus of everyone’s attention. Besides, Nightmare loves ceremonies and formal dress, so he doubtlessly won’t object to any of Alice’s desires. All Alice has to do is say what her desires are, and Gray will make certain that it will be done.

Alice wonders what she should do, Gray is obviously excited about their upcoming wedding. This is the happiest she’s seen Gray since she met him, and now she wonders how she can turn him down without breaking his spirit. Gingerly, she asks if Gray doesn’t think things are proceeding a bit quickly. Gray does give her that before saying that it’s about time for them to settle down.

He tells her not to worry about Nightmare, Gray will personally make certain that she wants for nothing for the rest of her life. He will make certain that her wedded life will be stress and worry free.

Alice thinks that this would all be really great if Gray was the one to whom she was getting married. But no, they’re talking about her and Nightmare.

Yes, marrying Nightmare would do wonders for her social status, and she has no doubt that her married life will be stable. However, the tremendous responsibility of being wife and parent to a near-terminally ill man-child makes her hesitate. Someone else should be his wife.

Alice points out that a major obstacle to marrying Nightmare would be the fact that he’s shown no sign of interest in her. Gray is confused, they’re . . . er . . . dating . . . so they obviously must be interested in each other. He assures her that while Nightmare is lazy, he has no doubt that marriage would transform him into a responsible man who will take care of her.

Nightmare comes up behind Alice and announces that he doesn’t mind the idea of marrying her. But more importantly, why was she thinking about marrying Gray?

Gray is shocked by this development, and Alice awkwardly explains that she was just thinking that Gray would make a more realistic husband than Nightmare. Nightmare is not pleased with this, and Gray begins to consider the possibility. He asks if she really thinks he would make a good husband, and Alice assures him she does.

Nightmare dives between the two of them and demands that they stop looking at each other. He’s the boss, he gets priority, and no one is going to get married before he and Alice do!

Flatly, Alice tells Nightmare that he’s not going to get married until after he goes to the hospital and gets healthy. Gray agrees, Alice won’t be interested in marrying a dying man who won’t survive the wedding. Alice lights up, this is the perfect way to avoid marrying Nightmare. She adds that he can’t just be healthy enough to survive the wedding, he has to regularly go to the doctors’, get all of his injections, drink all of his medicine, be monitored by those doctors all throughout, and after all that she might consider the possibility of marrying him.

Nightmare looks like he thinks that Alice has just betrayed him. Even so, Alice doesn’t think that she’s done anything wrong. She would be genuinely happy if Nightmare was a little bit healthier even if they don’t get married.

Gray is thrilled with this new development. He announces that Alice is right, Nightmare needs to come with him to the hospital before they go any further with the wedding planning.

Nightmare screams at them that a hospital is too scary and he refuses to go. Alice tells Nightmare that means that they won’t get married. Besides, this is a bad omen for the marriage, if he won’t respond to a simple request from his future wife.

Gray laughs and begins to drag Nightmare off, presumably towards the nearest hospital.

***

The rumors of her upcoming marriage have spread throughout the tower, and all the employees are congratulating Alice for her upcoming nuptials with Nightmare. Alice can’t stand much of this, and runs away to the forest to think in private. She is thankful that unlike the urbanized nature of the Country of Hearts, the Country of Clover has a mix of nature and urban areas.

Alice heads to the forest and marvels over how different it is from the Amusement Park that used to be in the area. She mopes for a bit over Gowland, which naturally leads her towards the doors. She starts to hear the doors call her name, only to be interrupted by Boris. In case we forgot, Boris used to live at the Amusement Park, but was shunted with mostly everyone else to the Country of Clover and now resides in the forest. Alice doesn’t really understand why, but she gave up on answering that question long ago.

Boris notes that Alice has a very angry expression and asks if something’s wrong. Alice thinks about her looming possible marriage to Nightmare and is relieved that Boris hasn’t heard the rumors. She changes the subject to Boris and his living situation. She still doesn’t understand why he’s so calm after becoming basically homeless.

Boris explains that he has a new and fun game to play. In fact, he’s playing it right now, and in a moment or two he’ll catch his target. He promises to bring it back alive to Alice so that she can see for herself. Before she can object, Boris runs off and disappears into the forest.

Shortly afterwards, Pierce crawls out of some nearby bushes, happy that Boris has finally left. Alice thinks that she now knows what Boris was talking about earlier. Alice gives Pierce a handkerchief to wipe his forehead, and he’s happy to be the recipient of her kindness. So happy, that he’s going to give her a present. Alice tells him not to worry about that, and to go and hide before Boris comes back.

Pierce has the perfect idea, they can hide together in his home. Boris can’t enter, so they’ll both be safe from the cat. All they have to do is drink this bottle of medicine Pierce has on him.

Alice still has lingering trauma from drinking out of medicine vials and tries to decline. To make matters weirder, a voice from the vial starts telling her to drink it. Completely weirded out, Alice moves to leave the area.

Pierce starts cajoling her to drink the medicine, similar in a manner to the way Gray has been cajoling Nightmare to drink his medicine. After listening to both Pierce and the medicine vial, Alice gives in and takes a drink.

After Alice drinks it, she feels completely disorientated, though physically she’s fine. At the very least, it doesn’t feel like the time Peter made her drink the medicine after she first arrived in the Country of Hearts.

Alice realizes that the reason she feels disorientated is that she is very small right now. As in, small enough to fit into a pocket. Pierce happily agrees that she is, he wasn’t entirely sure that the medicine would work on outsiders, but there she is. Now, they can go to his home.

Alice is upset at this surprise change in events and demands that Pierce make her normal sized again. Pierce is surprised at how angry Alice is getting, and starts looking through his pockets. As he does so, Alice wonders why this sort of thing always happens to her.

Eventually Pierce admits that they have a bit of a problem, he can’t find the antidote. He thinks he must have dropped it somewhere, and starts panicking. Alice tries to calm him down and ask if he can just buy more.

Pierce . . . cant. It’s a very rare antidote, and shops rarely have it in stock. He falls to his knees and starts crying. Then he abruptly stops, he’s had a great idea. Alice can just live with him forever in his home. That will solve everything!

It takes the rest of the time period, but Alice is eventually able to nag Pierce into bringing her back to the Tower of Clover.

Gray immediately wants to know what the hell happened, forcing Alice to admit that she took some strange medicine from Pierce. Pierce objects to that description of his medicine.

To Alice’s surprise, Gray looks happy, like a little girl looking at a baby kitten. He reaches out towards her, only to be stopped like Nightmare. Gray promises that he wasn’t going to be rough with her, but Nightmare tells Gray he knows that he had wicked intentions. Alice immediately defends Gray, who in her estimation is far less wicked that Nightmare.

From her vantage point on Pierce’s palm, she can see Nightmare’s face go paler and bluer. Next to him, Gray seems to be the picture of health, vibrant and handsome. Nightmare complains that the most wicked one here is Alice herself.

Reluctantly, Gray asks Pierce when he’s planning on giving Alice the medicine to return her to normal size. Pierce stammers and tells them that he doesn’t know. Gray’s eyes grow sharp and asks what Pierce means by that. Doesn’t Pierce understand that if he keeps Alice like this forever, he’s going to become the number one enemy of both Nightmare and the Country of Clover?

Pierce squeaks and cringes away, but Gray doesn’t relent. He tells Pierce that his affiliation with the Hatter Family means little to them, and even if it means war between their two factions, they will eventually punish him for this.

Pierce starts crying in terror, and Nightmare intercedes. He tells Gray that he thinks Pierce isn’t refusing to give the antidote to Alice, it’s just not possible at this very moment. Grateful, Pierce promises that he will give Alice the antidote as soon as he can.

However, Nightmare isn’t done. While he does consider himself a very generous and gentle lord, he wants Alice cured as soon as possible. Until Pierce supplies them with the antidote, ever dream he has will be full of hungry cats all going for him. No matter how far he runs, or how cleverly he hide, thousands of cat will stalk him in his dreams.

Gray smiles at that, and admits that he would welcome that kind of dream.

Pierce is horrified and begs Nightmare to reconsider. Nightmare tells him to cure Alice and he will happily give Pierce his preferred pleasant dreams.

Alice is too shocked at seeing this side of Nightmare to say anything. Pierce rushes out of Nightmare’s office, leaving her behind on the desk.

After he leaves, Gray groans while bringing his hand to his head. This is horrible, all of his plans for Nightmare and Alice’s wedding are ruined! If they go ahead while Alice is in this shape, none of the guests will be able to see her. It will look like Nightmare is delusional and getting married to an imaginary bride.

Nightmare whines at the mental image and even Alice agrees that it would be strange. Gray eventually straightens up and promises Nightmare that he will personally look into an antidote for Alice. Alice’s anger at Pierce is eventually replaced with a feeling of guilt for taking that medicine before she knew what it would do. She wonders how she’ll manage daily tasks such as eating and bathing while she’s in this form.

Nightmare reassures her that they are already looking into getting a custom-made dollhouse for her. Furthermore, he is personally more amused by these events than anything else. More importantly, he still wants to talk to her about Gray’s plans for their marriage. She thinks Nightmare is only going through with this because it will get Gray off his back. Nightmare insists that he really is interested in her, but Alice doesn’t believe him.

Nightmare admits that while he wasn’t specifically thinking of marrying her, he was thinking that she’d make a nice wife.

Alice begins to seriously consider the prospect of marrying Nightmare. He’s weak and whiny and sickly. However, he’s also been her friend since the Country of Hearts, and he knows her better than she knows herself. While he’s one of the nicest people she’s met here, she hardly knows anything about him. In fact, out of everyone she knows in this world, Nightmare is the person she knows the least about.

Nightmare asks her if she wants to marry him, and Alice tells him know. He starts laughing and tells her that he knew she would say that. Sulkily, Alice asks him why he asked if he already knew the answer. Nightmare tells her to brace herself, from now on he’s going to put effort into wooing her. Alice tells him not to get too far ahead of himself, at this point even if she agreed to marry him she wouldn’t be able to wear a wedding dress. Nightmare cheekily tells her that they can just order some custom made doll clothes. In fact, Gray should be contacting a doll maker about making her some extra sets of clothes as well as the dollhouse. Besides, if it means marrying her, he would be willing to have a ceremony that looked like he was being delusional.

Alice crosses her arms and glares at Nightmare. However, with her diminutive size, it lacks any of her normal ferocity and Nightmare only laughs harder.

Later Alice dreams of the time when her boyfriend left her for her sister. Just as she starts wishing she could be more like her older sister, the sound of a book closing echoes and she’s with Nightmare in the dream world.

Alice clings to him, and he soothes her for having such a terrible dream. Alice mumbles something about it not being bad, no dream with her sister can possibly be bad.

Alice realizes that she’s full size and clinging to Nightmare, and immediately lets go of him, looking around curiously. Since when did she get back to being big again?

Nightmare admits that since this is a dream, she can be whatever size she feels like. However, in the real world, she’s still small and tiny. Nightmare tells her that if she feels that self conscious about her size, when they get married they can just do it in the dream. Alice tells him not to do that, it would just annoy all of their guests. Nightmare argues that it’s not his problem if his guests are annoyed at his wedding, they can be as selfish and annoying as they want.

Nightmare moves on, he asks which wedding dress Alice like the most. He thought the mermaid line caught Alice’s attention and asks which one she wants to wear. Alice tells him that she doesn’t remember any of the dresses.

Idly, Alice wonders if Nightmare can invite the people left behind in the Country of Hearts to their dream wedding. Nightmare laughs and promises to bring Julius and Gowland to their wedding as well.

Nightmare suddenly grows grim and tells Alice that he’s happy that she doesn’t have the ability to read his heart. If she did, she’d probably start to hate him. Alice reaches out to tuck Nightmare’s bangs behind his ear and tells him that she doubts she’ll ever be able to hate him. Nightmare notes that she doesn’t find him threatening and reminds her that he’s a guy, and is strong and dangerous in his own way.

Alice tells him that if that’s true, she’ll run away. She wonders if this is some roundabout way of threatening to kill her. Nightmare blanches and starts coughing up blood, he swears he didn’t mean it that way. Alice rubs his back, considering taking him to the hospital. With a glint in his eye, Nightmare asks her if she’ll marry him if he goes to the hospital. Alice growls at him not to involve her in his personal failings.

However, Alice feels like she is starting to understand Gray just a little bit. Like him, she can’t bring herself to leave Nightmare alone

***

I still think that scene from the game where Alice thinks that Gray is asking her to marry him instead of Nightmare is one of the funnier scenes. I think the author tried to replicate it a little bit, but it sounded like Alice was aware the entire time that they were talking about her and Nightmare’s marriage.

More importantly, I like that the author is going into a different direction that the game, introducing Pierce and the shrinking potion. I find it funny and realistic that Alice has certain apprehensions of drinking mysterious medicine from mysterious bottles in this world. You’d think that would make her more sympathetic of Nightmare, but I guess there is a line between that and refusing medicine while coughing up blood.

I also liked how both Gray and Nightmare operated in reaction to Alice’s new size. Gray definitely came off as threatening, promising to bring the full military weight of their faction down on Pierce and the Hatter Family as need be. Nightmare kind of sounded funny when I was looking at it, but I think it was supposed to be more threatening, as Pierce thought he was the scarier one. I suppose Nightmare’s point is that he knows Pierce’s particular weaknesses.

Next Chapter: Leaving the Tower

#daydream lover #light novel #nightmare gottschalk #Alice Liddell #pierce villiers #Gray Ringmarc #Clover no Kuni no Alice #Alice in the Country of Hearts

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tumblunni · 7 years

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okay HOLY SHIT

I just remembered that show Gargoyles that I loved as a kid, and I decided to rewatch it, and its SOMEHOW EVEN BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS?? Like holy fuck?? It has one of the best introductions to any show ever! Did I just never see the first episode as a kid, or did all the implications fly over my head when I watched it??

Okay so.. like.. I knew the PREMISE but I didnt expect it all happened in the least expected way! The friggin theme tune tells us that blablabla ancient magical guardian creatures fell under some sort of curse and now they’re revived in modern times, such and such, there you go a one sentence plot. BUT HOW IT HAPPENED HOW it happened oh GOD And like the show starts with a whole hour long flashback to the gargoyles back in olden times?? like thats a really bold move! usually in kids shows theyre like ‘you MUST establish the status quo/episode formula right away’. here we literally only saw two minutes of modern times america. TWO MINUTES! some person we dont know finds some mysterious monster. now lets throw that all away and spend a whole glorious hour establishing how much of an upstanding man that damn monster is, and how the universe treats him like shit. like weirdly enough it raises hype for the modern day episode formula even as it shows none of it?? it makes the audience think ‘WAIT WTF THEYRE NOT EVIL, OH NO WE ALREADY KNOW THE MODERN POLICE IS GONNA ATTACK THEM’ :< And then also we get ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF of establishing the modern day status quo too?? theyre labelled on dvds and stuff as the first five episodes, but really this was just one big 2 and half hour movie premiere! i wish i could have seen it in its original form back when it first aired, i just remember that it was really hard to catch reruns of the multi part stuff cos toon disney had a lot of airing issues

anyway WHY IS THIS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER?

okay

OKAY OKAY

Here’s our premise! We start off in some ambiguously set medieval kingdom where everyone dresses like a mashup of vikings and englishmen yet have scottish accents ok seriously thats kinda distracting And we’re introduced to this small castle kingdom that’s protected by mysterious guardian creatures of amazing character design. Like seriously i wish they didnt focus so much on this ‘all the main gargoyles have to look more human’ thing, the comic relief teenagers trio was my favourite and also THE COOL GRANDPA EYEPATCH GARGOYLE ok ok im getting offtopic So in this universe gargoyles are a sentient species of winged noble warrior doods, who just happen to have a problem of turning to stone in sunlight. And they protect these humans but the humans are all assholes who’re like WAH BUT THEY LOOK LIKE CHRISTIAN DEMONS THEY MUST BE EVIL even as theyre like.. mid-being-saved. Absolute dumbasses. And seriously YOU BUILT YOUR CITY ON THE GARGOYLES’S LAND! You should count yourself lucky their leader is Niceman Mc Patience who agreed to a peace treaty instead of kicking your ass. Seriously Goliath you kinda comprimised too much! It really fuckin sucks!! The gargoyles are like.. employed by the humans for no form of pay?? They get literally nothing out of it! Except less room to live in their own home, and constant degredation.

Okay so THE HUMAN CHARACTERS AND THEIR CONSTANT DEGREDATION

We’re introduced to the princess and royal vizier dude when the kindly knight captain is like ‘hey you should say thank you to the gargoyles, not me’, and she’s like HOW DARE YOU LET THE BEASTS INSIDE THE HOUSE! Like seriouslt the gargoyles arent even allowed to be seen by humans?? Theyre supposed to protect them every damn day but also should never speak and never have any form of rights as sentient beings. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE, MEDIEVAL DOODS?? So yeah here’s our brief summary of the everyone here: * Fucking asshole princess who acts like you let your dog shit on the floor if you give a friggin sentient being and king of another civilization the basic courtesy of being allowed to STAND INSIDE THE HOUSE * Cliche evil vizier lookin dood who doesnt really have much personality shown yet except being a sycophant to her anti gargoyle shit, and like.. from his character design you totally expect he’s gonna be evil. *shrug* * Niceman mc guardman who treats Goliath like a friend and is being all activist for gargoyle rights amoung the court. But also he’s really low ranking apparantly, and doesnt have any power to affect change. It seems that he’s been treated like shit by these royals for a long time... * One innocent nice kiddo who wants to hug the gargoyles for saving him, but his jerkass mum is all OMG HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIM HEY EVERYONE YOU SAW THEY TOTALLY ATTACKED US RIGHT Like seriously he just fuckin tries to start a conversation with the younger gargoyles, and is all ‘youre my hero!’ and they have a nice talk that establishes a load of worldbuilding like how gargoyle culture doesnt have any form of names and Goliath only has one cos the humans gave it to him. Screw you, worldbuilding interruption predjudice mom!

Okay so now we have our premise, and we see some mysterious guy in a hood sneaking out of the castle to ally with some raiders who wanna overthrow the country and steal all its riches. Also a minor scene of the teen and kid gargoyle group being sent to their room for 'causing trouble’ even though seriously the humans started it >_> So like.. we all know where this is going, right? Its a pretty big omen when you give us a contrived circumstance for the children to be the only ones who can be safe from this impending catastrophe... And the voice was very gruff and deep so its probably not the princess doing this shit, plus duh she already has all the power so why would she need to stage a coup? Really, the question now is just what vizier man’s motives are for wanting to betray her!

... EXCEPT

This is where the story gets fuckin great, and also where My Soul Is Pained

hey guess who was really the traitor? its.... nice guard man! fffffuck its sooo creepy when the princess is running for help and she’s like HEY THANK GOD YOURE HERE and then he has this big slasher smile and reveals his plan T_T And like.. he’s still.. not really evil?? Nobody here is evil, except the personalityless plot device raider guys who just exist to set up this circumstance. The princess is an ungrateful predjudiced asshole, but she’s beloved by her human subjects and i mean., she never actually does anything evil, she’s just rude and nasty. And the vizier was a complete red herring and actually all his mysterious shit was just him hiding a crush on the princess, so he breaks down when he thinks she’s dead :( And then guard guy also wasnt lying about caring about the gargoyles. he tried to get them to leave so that only the humans would die, but then like.. his ambition overtook that one shred of loyalty he had to his friends. He thought he could get through all this without having to kill them, but when the raider guy insists upon it he ends up agreeing rather than lose his chance at stealing the throne. And then its really slimy how he’s all ‘BUT I DIDNT INTEND THIS ORIGINALLY, ITS ALL RAIDER GUY’S FAULT’ after goliath shows up and cries over the corpses of his family, like seriously what the fuck dude dont try and weasel out of consequences for your actions. But still it feels like he was once a genuinely good guy who just gave in to his selfishness and abandoned his morals?? And i mean its super justified for him to be angry at how he was treated by the princess, and to want to affect change in this society. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!! Seriously its so fuckin surprisingly deep to have some guy who’s a fakeout hero in the first damn episode. And some guy who’s a villain just because he stooped to any means necessary to carry out his once-heroic ambitions. Instead of changing society for the sake of the people, he’s sacrificing all the people just to gain the throne, and forgetting why he ever wanted it! SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BE EVEN WORSE THAN ASSHOLE PRINCESS

so yeah then the plot just goes in SO MANY UNEXPECTED DIRECTIONS to get to the same expected conclusion! Instead of just being cursed by the bad guys, the gargoyles were betrayed by the one closest to them, while those bad guys all died innefectually offscreen. And the curse wasnt even an evil act! It happens because of a REALLY COMPLEX GREY MORALITY SITUATION, where the princess and vizier were gonna be sold off for cash, but then because the gargoyles tried to save them the guard guy decided to just execute them instead. So after their triumphant rescue of all the villagers, they find the vizier man sobbing over his dead love, and then he tells them its THEIR FAULT IT HAPPENED. And he doesnt want to live without her, so he makes a really stupid reckless decision and decides to attack the last few living gargoyles. And like RIGHT AFTER he casts the spell on them, he finds out the princess is still alive and its all oh Fuck What The Fuck Have I Done So vizier man tries to undo the curse, but his book of spells got damaged in the fight and (OF COURSE) coincidentally the page about curse lifting is gone. Cue fuckin Everyone Crying. SO FEW EVIL PEOPLE IN THIS STORY SO MANY EVIL ACTS DONE BY THOSE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE THE HERO like even the vizier and princess realize they were wrong about their anti gargoyle bigotry after they have to see the consequences of it here but its just WAY TOO LATE FOR THAT

and then yo the EVEN MORE UNEXPECTED AND SAD BIT cos our protagonist gargoyle was the only one who didnt get cursed thats unexpected and he basically COMMITS SUICIDE TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY THATS KINDA MORE UNEXPECTED Well its more like a g-rated suicide metaphor?? Everyone thinks the curse will never be broken, so he curses himself too cos he cant live without them. And its really depressing cos even though we know they all eventually get uncursed, so many others just straight up died and also theyll never see their human friends again and also the castle is all destroyed so the fate of the kingdom is really ambiguous too?? we just know that the now-redeemed princess and vizier are gonna do anything they can to protect their citizens and atone for what happened. and they take the last few gargoyle eggs that werent destroyed, and promise to raise them with all of the love and respect they nevr gave poor goliath... and seriously they never say whose children those eggs were but he’s like the only person left who could have given them a proper gargoyle childhood. So like its morally grey that goliath is choosing death together with the people he knows, rather than living and trying to ressurect his dying civilization. i absolutely wouldnt blame him for it though, its not like suicide is an active choice, he wasnt exactly in his right mind at the time! But its just REALLY NICE AND COMPLEX! And raises a lot of questions about what will happen to these new gargoyles who’re raised by humans, how different would they be if goliath and co met them someday? i really hope thats actually a plot thats gonna happen, i cant rememebr ANYTHING about this show lol...

so yeah theres all the FUCKIN COMPLEX DARK MORAL AMBIGUITY IN ANCIENT ENGLANDSCOTLANDGERMANYKINDA and it is AMAZING and it absolutely baffles me how they ahve such great plots when other parts of the writing are kinda awful standard disney cliches?? like seriously they wasted so much screentime on Comic Relief: A Fat Guy Exists. Seriously he just.. exists. They show these really slow and overanimated scenes of him just.. eating things. not even exaggerated or comedic. he ate one pie, lets all make fun of him for twenty minutes but man, no show in the 90s was perfect, lol! this is still pretty damn great! AND VERY EMOTIONAL

oh oh oh and i didnt mention THE OTHER CRYING BIT cos the guard guy gets a cliche disney villain death, the whole accidentally falling off a cliff due to his own actions, so the protagonist isnt morally responsible for killing a man but then what makes it a really unique scene is that THATS NOT THE MORAL STANCE THE SHOW TAKES goliath WANTED to kill that damn man or, at the very least, give him some sort of punishment for what he’d done goliath has a fucking huge despair moment over the fact this villain man died and he wasnt the one who did it “you took everything from me, even my chance at revenge” cue ugly sobbing as this buff ass demon man screams at the heavens and cradles the stone dust that was once his damn wife what the fuck show why are you doing this to me

ITS REALLY GOOD

#blunni thoughts

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aldenwritesreviews-blog · 5 years

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Essay on Cinemalaya and Mike De Leon’s, Kisapmata.

Braddock, Alden T. Rauto, Juan Miguel

Let's talk about the films were going to talk about. Were going to talk about 4 Cinemalaya films which are: Sid and Aya, Meet me in St. Gallen, Ulan, and ML. And a film my Mike De Leon, Kisapmata.

Let's talk about Sid and Aya first. It is not the first time Anne Curtis played the role of the girl in a romance film that the couple has a vast difference in class or wealth. Anne played a promo girl who falls for Sam Milby who is a wealthy professor in Babe, I love you directed by Mae Cruz. Sid and Aya is not your typical run off the mill love story. As it says in the title ‘not a love story’. It doesn't follow the formula of one guy meets girl, they date, problems appear, they solve it and then happy ever after the end. This movie will hit you. Will leave you frustrated. After all the efforts. After all the back and forth the girl loves the guy but the guy has a girlfriend, after a while the guy leaves his girlfriend and followed her to another country to prove himself, girl is tired of him but kind of rekindles the memories but still wont get together. They did not get together. If you are rooting for the main actors to get together don't even get your hopes up because the director Irine Villamor will shatter your hopes for them to get together even if someone goes out of their way.

Let's talk about the main characters. Sid is a stock broker who had a bad past growing up. Aya is a waitress but actually has a couple of other jobs to support her family and sickly father. Sid is a frequent customer where Aya is working at. Aya and her coworkers placed a bet on what Sid’s actual job was and Aya won. That is how the two met. Aya smokes, Sid casually started a conversation and realizing Aya’s situation asked her if he could pay her to keep him company. Nothing too far off from other romance films. Yet. They were right on the formula. They hang out a lot, guy gets attached, they found love that cannot be because of Sid’s girlfriend. Really, nothing too far from generic Filipino romance films. Aya moved to Japan to be with her mom and avoid Sid but Sid chases after her. Everything goes well and they stuck to the formula until that one dreaded moment where Aya stood Sid up while he was planning to propose to her. That is different. That is how Irene Villamor made the movie unexpected but expected as well because of the title.

The plot is close to common Philippine romance films but not quite. The essence is there but the only part I saw that deviated from the “formula” is the part where Aya stood Sid up. Everything else I felt that it was to be expected. After the first encounter because of just how romance goes they will meet again. I expected that their hang-outs will labour love at some point. They make love but given that there is a third party they don't really get together but when Sid leaves his girlfriend, Aya isn't feeling it anymore. If they didnt add ‘Not a love story’ in the title I wouldn't have expected them not being together.

The movie is interesting and kind of a breath of fresh air in Philippine romance dramas. It is really hard to deviate from a formula that is tried and tested here in the country because a lot of people are already wired to find these movies relatable and those are what they are used to. The film did interest me because of Aya’s constant teasing of Sid wanting her and Aya’s personality of wanting to help her family and doing whatever she can and even doing multiple jobs to help.

Then we have Meet me in St. Gallen which is another film directed by Irene Villamor. It doesn't stray far from Sid and Aya’s formula of a not so love story. It is almost the same formula only the characters differ. Their status, their personalities, and also the time in happened. She used a lot of time skips in the movie for the two to meet. They also differ in their circumstances but the formula is still the same. Guy meets girl (In a coffee shop) after a while they fall in love but the guy has a girl, guy leaves girl then goes to another country to pursue girl and the girl is not interested again. It is almost the same progression with Sid and Aya.

Let me explain

Meet me in St. Gallen more important scene starts off when Celeste played by Bella Padilla quits her job in the bathroom where Jesse who is played by Carlo Aquino heard. He proceeds to follow her to a coffee shop and Celeste proceeded to humiliate him speaking in a loud voice that he is a stalker. They started a small talk and proceeded to get along very well. Celeste wanted to go home and ride a taxi but Jesse followed and flirted a bit and Celeste reciprocated it giving them more time to hang out. That scene is a lighthearted scene where two newly acquainted people flirt a little while bystanders who is the guard and the taxi driver just watches and make faces that help the scene become lighthearted as it is. They proceeded to go to a bar and drink, have fun, and talk a lot and then there comes this scene where they were sitting on a bench just talking and flirting. Jesse gave her a ride home while talking about relationships. Jesse kissed Celeste out of the blue then making Celeste say that they should keep that moment and proceeded to hail a taxi. The film skipped 2 years before they met again and in a coffee shop. They chatted and Celeste got the news that Jesse was engaged. Celeste still loved Jesse and was regretting not contacting him after that car scene. Jesse was still a bit in love but he is engaged. They decided to hang out again that day and all was fun and happy and they rekindled their hidden love for each other until they made love. The next morning they were still positive and flirty but when Jesse’s fiance called him everything went south. I could really feel the emotion Celeste had. After that uneventful day it skipped again a couple of years forward. It is similar to Sid and Aya where Sid went to Japan to go for Aya but in this case Jesse went to Europe specifically in St. Gallen. They met and it was a bit sour because Celeste was doubting him and it turned out that Celeste already has a boyfriend. Jesse was too late. The movie ended with them not getting together like Sid and Aya. I noticed that Irene Villamor loves tragic stories where the supposed couple doesn't really get together in the end so i guess thats what to expect on the next movie we are going to talk about which is ulan.

The two movies aren't entirely the same. Each specific movie has their own charm to it, for Sid and Aya it happens to be the prospect of Sid paying Aya to hang out with him and Aya’s quirky personality and for Meet me in St. Gallen its Celeste’s mean but quirky attitude towards people. I enjoyed Meet me in St. Gallen because of the small quirks the film has in presenting teenage romance by going around and doing random stuff, drinking in a bar, and looking at the stars and the romance of adults after the time skip. I have to admit I expected that they wont get together but I didn't expect how she brings up that he had a boyfriend. It caught me by surprise and it doesnt give away anything from the title.

Ulan takes almost everything differently except how the relationship went. It is also a film directed by Irene Villamor so you know what to expect now. This movie is vastly different but also the same in some aspects.

It all starts with a young Maya, looking at the sky, the sun is shining but the rain is pouring. Her grandmother told her that the sky is weeping because two tikbalangs are getting married and heads out to the park witnessing two actual tikbalangs getting married and gets information on why it was raining and information about love. They did a good job in setting the mood of a young girl believing in fantasy and about love. What they didnt do a good job on is the horse masks the tikbalangs used maybe because of the budget so i dont blame them. Now Maya now a woman, heads out to the house of a boy she waited years to love despite the pouring rain. She arrives at the house being hopeful for a fruitful relationship and feeling love again. She is asked to go inside then gets informed that the guy she is waiting for for years is already married and has a child. Shes broken. She has all the right to love unlike the tikbalangs that the heavens disapprove of. This movie is different from the two because this involves more fantasy or Filipino omens rather than being relatable to most of the audience who will watch this film. It is more about stories of Filipino omens rather than love. It is interesting to see how omens affect a person about love so i cant say that the film bored me but its kind of over the top. The film focuses more on Maya being motivated of a broken heart to write stories and her belief in omens about love rather than her own love story. If you expected a love story that is full of ‘kilig’ this movie wont really give you that. It gives you more heartbreak than anything else because of all the heartbreaks she felt throughout the move. It entices the audience with the promise of a love story of a girl that gets heartbroken, and is too afraid to love again finally attain her dream of being loved and being happy. The latter part didn't happen. The movie focuses more on the mind and beliefs of Maya believing a lot of fables that it all correlates to her not finding the love and happiness she deserves. The movie gave me a lot of heartbreaks and after each and every heartbreak maya becomes more reluctant to love until the time she finally accepts herself. The film portrayed Maya as a girl that is reluctant to love after the big heartbreak at the start but when she does open up and love again she is a person who will love you unconditionally. The film’s cinematography has a fantasy vibe to it because of all the fables and beliefs Maya believes in and they beautifully capture the essence of it being fantasy or beliefs. The one thing I did not like about the film is how predictable it can be sometimes. I could predict when a breakup is going to happen or something bad is going to happen. The scenes that should be surprising or that should give you a heavy feeling didn't really do the job properly because it doesn't take a detective to see what is going to happen. Its raining hard to the point where Peter can barely see the road, they are on a phone call while the guy is driving, Maya telling him that he should stop first because he could be in an accident but the guy is persistent for a while. What will I expect so it didn't surprise me. All the build up of Maya getting hope and feeling happy again all got turned down. It really doesn't need a detective to figure that out. Looking at the three films, Irene Villamor loves to make tragic love stories.

Judging by the three movies talked about that is directed by Irene Villamor, there are recognizable and recurring themes and visual cues presented in those three films. They meet unexpectedly, they will have a good relationship or love for each other, but in the end the wont get together. Just by watching these three films. I can see that if I watch another Irene Villamor movie. I’ll be able to tell the sequencing of events and how it’s going to end. Because she has her own formula and it shows. It’s like copy paste “Bro lemme copy your homework” “sure but change some of it” kind of thing. The characters personalities are also kind of similar. Looking at the female main characters their personalities often depicts a strong-willed woman who is not afraid to share their thoughts, and hardworking, unique, and soft. I believe that this is Irene Villamor’s identity in regards to filmmaking. She loves to make a non-traditional romance film that doesn't follow the typical romantic movie stereotype.

Now let’s talk about ML.

Damn. Wow. The two words that came out of my mouth when the film ended. I was speechless, I had to process everything that happened in the movie for a good 5 minutes. The movie made you feel things. Things that you wouldn’t normally feel when you watch a movie. It was good, it was great, it was amazing, it was sad, it was disgusting, it was gruesome, it was wow. You can describe the movie in a lot of ways but in the end you’re in awe for the movie.

The movie makes you feel phantom pain while they were getting tortured. The acting was superb, the pacing, it made you feel as if you were in there being tortured. It made you feel it physically and emotionally. It made you scared for the characters about what’s going to happen to them but it also made you worry about yourself and it also would scare you. It wasn’t a horror film but it would scare you more than the most horror films out there. It didn’t have any jump scares, no eerie sound effects just rock music. Who knew using a rock music would make people scared.

Martial law was messed up and it still is. You wouldn’t find any videos of Filipinos being tortured during Martial Law, you would only find videos of them talking about what happened to them, what they experienced. However, those videos are still messed up but you’d have to visualise in your mind about how they got tortured, you won’t see it actually happening. Seeing the torture actually happening makes your eyes more open and hate Martial Law even more, even though this was just acted and is just a movie but wow it was amazing.

I knew about what tortures that were used during the Martial Law but it just had pictures that were drawn or were just described. The tortures that I read online for my homework in school have been acted out. Reading about it is so different than actually seeing it happen even if it’s just a movie. Toenails getting pulled off, pissing on the cloth then putting inside the mouth of the victim, water torture with water being flushed through his nostrils and mouth, victims getting tortured with the stock of the gun by hitting them with it, victims getting striped down, laying the naked victim’s body on a block of ice while being tied up, inserting objects inside the genitals, electrocuting the victim’s genitals, nipples, and fingers. Oh boy it’s not even done. Furthermore, russian roulette, victim getting burnt by cigarette butts, and the victim being physically abused while they are tied in a chair and mouths taped shut with duct tape.

That was a lot of tortures. At one point while the tortures were happening I felt like I don’t want to watch this movie anymore, I wanted to stop it. The movie is heavy, but it was amazing. I didn’t stop watching though because if I did, I wouldn’t be writing this or what I would be writing was nonsense, lacking, garbage, and not worth reading. The movie was really intense and it was great. ML is a must watch movie, especially for those who still support Martial Law and Marcos apologists so that their eyes can be opened to what they stand for.

He (Colonel) seemed so harmless at the beginning, but if you’ve seen the movie poster you know what’s up. The way he was described by the people in the neighborhood is just like an ordinary old man. forgetful, wrinkly, and weak. Although he has alzheimer’s which makes him forget about things and mix up the past and reality however, he is strong, still possesses the skills that he learned through combat training and toture methods that he has done to his old victims at his time in the army during the Marcos regime. A fragment of the past recurring in his brain making the disc of Martial Law inside his brain go on repeat.

When Carlo and Jace were introduced you’d have the reaction of “Are you serious?”, “Why dude?”, and “Please tell me you’re joking.” But then you’d remember that there are actually people like them in the Philippines right now. They did have some points but what spiced it up even more is when Carlo said the victims that got tortured deserved it. Wow, are you for real Carlo. You’d hate Carlo and Jace in the beginning but as the movie goes by you see them getting tortured, seeing that happening to them makes you pity the two characters and hate Colonel even more.

When Colonel arrived at his house when he went to the barbershop to get his haircut there was a dog barking at him when he was opening his gate. He wasn’t scared of it, he just stared at the dog looking angry. He then got food and called the dog, he looked like he loved dogs. Turns out that was just a facade, he was hiding a hammer behind his back and that made me sad and mad at Colonel. Why do you have to do that to that dog, the dog didn’t hurt you and dogs bark normally when they’re not familiar with the person. What makes it even more sad is when the owners put up a sign looking for the dog. He had a name, Charlie. Charlie wasn’t a stray dog, he had a family that was expecting him to go home but Colonel was a big psycho and killed him.

Throughout the whole movie I was dreading, and was cheering for them to escape with any opportunity they got. Seeing them just getting tortured for no reason at all when they had no intentions of hurting or doing anything bad to Colonel was sad. Carlo just wanted to learn more about Martial Law from someone that was in the military so he has a different perspective but what he got wasn’t a story, he got the full experience in HD real life. Jace just wanted to go out and have fun with Carlo, Pat just got involved because she baited into going to the house of Colonel. Carlo, Jace, and Pat learned it the hard way. 3 of them were in favor of Martial Law, they had a life experience that was gonna stick with them for the rest of their lives, besides Jace because he’s six feet under.

What sucked in the end is that Jace died, Carlo and Pat got away and they are now scared emotionally and physically for the rest of their lives. They had to endure all that torture and I was rooting for them to kill Colonel is the end so that they have that redemption, the satisfaction for them but also for the viewers. However, Carlo didn’t get to kill Colonel. The build up for him going room to room until he got the right one, he sees him sleeping on his bed and walks up on him and when he tries to wake Colonel up, he won’t. He died in his sleep. The characters don’t get the satisfaction nor the viewers, it broke the hype that was building up and the feeling of “What if he gets caught?” and “Is he gonna die for real now?”. The worry for Carlo and the anger for Colonel just all disappeared and just made it sadder for them and the viewers. Honestly, I would have liked to see Colonel getting killed by Carlo so that he at least got back with what Colonel did to them. The torture they had to endure and killing his bestfriend. I would have been relieved if the ending was just Carlo killing Colonel. All the hate that built up for Colonel throughout the film was just wasted, we didn’t get to have the moment of “YEAH TAKE THAT!”, “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING CHARLIE!”, and “DIE!”. It would have been so satisfying for me to see that. I really hate what he did to Charlie. When Pat and Carlo escaped and told the police about what happened, no one believed them, which really sucks because they didn’t get a good ending Carlo didn’t get to kill Colonel and the police didn’t believe them. It was really harsh for them.

I’m amazed with the capabilities of Colonel because he still can do all that and have a big block of ice just lying around his house. However, I really hate him and I hate Martial Law. They didn’t deserve that to happen to them. I’m glad that Martial Law is over and I hope that it never happens again.

The acting in this film was really amazing and the editing was great too. The songs that were used in the film fits the film’s atmosphere and vibe. It was really an experience watching this movie.

Lastly, Kisapmata

Kisapmata is a crime, drama, and horror film made in 1981 that was directed by Mike De Leon. It is the first Filipino film that depicted Incest which was big breaktrhough for the Philippine cinema during the 1980s because it was somehow a taboo topic for Filipinos and an act that is frowned upon on. The film also won ten major awards in FAMAS, The Manunuri ng Pelikulang Filipino also declared that Kisapmata is one of the ten best films of the 1980s.

Kisapmata is about a family shackled by their psychotic abusive Father (Dadong) who is jealous of Mila’s suitor (Noel) who eventually became her husband. Mila’s father controls everything they do and is always with them. They live in a house where every action could be seen and heard from any angle. Rooms with “broken” locks and phone calls that their father can only answer. Every move that Mila and her mother makes was monitored by their father. Mila and her mother had no choice but to submit because of fear, he had so much power over everything within the household. The role of the father is the pillar of the family but this family’s pillar crazed itself to collapse on the whole family which led to their demise.

Throughout the film Dadong is always boasting about how “masculine” he is. He shows the amount of control he has, saying how drinking beer is something that a man should do, telling how making worms earns more than being a credit investigator (Noel’s job) talking about his life as a policeman and crimes he has solved. He always wants to show how strong he is by being an abusive father. He would hurt the mother of Mila physically and emotionally, Dadong keeping a gun around and used it to threaten the maid of Noel’s family when he went looking for Mila. He would do anything just to show his masculinity.

The film started off with Mila telling Dadong that she wants to get married, Dadong was disagreeing with her because for one, he is “masculine” and has the power to pull the strings in the household. Two, Mila is his only child and that’s one less person to control in the house when they move out. Lastly, he has sexual desires for his own daughter. He only agreed when Mila told him that she was pregnant. He told Mila that they have to get married and wanted to meet up with Noel and his Family. When Dadong met Noel, Dadong acted superior and showing his “macho” traits. When they had the family gathering to talk about the marriage he said that it’s tradition to give the family Php 10,000 and that made me wow because I’m pretty sure during the 1980s that was worth a lot and I’ve never heard of any family having a tradition of giving money to the family of the bride when they’re gonna get married. I think there may be some families out there but I don’t believe that there are.

When Noel and Mila were planning for the wedding, Dadong was always there with them. He always had a say on what to do for the wedding, how it’s going to be planned out and he wanted it to be a big fancy wedding. He got to pick how the invitation cards are gonna look like and it wasn’t even his wedding, it’s the job of the groom and bride to do that work at this point of the movie Noel is starting to be wrapped around the fingers of Dadong. He doesn’t see it and he can’t do anything because it’s the dad of Mila.

During the wedding Daddong was whispering something to Mila’s mother while they were dancing and that made me feel like Dadong was plotting something so Mila won’t leave her father’s side. The mother acted like she was sick so they’ll sympathize with her and they have to spend the night at their place. Dadong was doing everything to keep her with him. When Mila and Noel wanted to go out to watch a movie and they were gonna take a taxi but Dadong insisted to bring them to the theater but he ended up watching the movie with them and complained about the movie after because he didn’t like it. Dadong wouldn’t leave them alone, he was persistent to keep his eyes on Mila.

Mila always writes on her diary where she can vent out her thoughts, she can’t even tell them to Noel because it seems like she’s hiding a really big secret. She wouldn’t even let Noel read her diary because I’m pretty sure she can’t bare to let Noel know or let anyone know what that diary contains. When Noel asked if he could read the diary, Mila replied with “Pag namatay ako” so that implies that she won’t get judged because of incest, it being a act that is looked down upon. The diary is also one of the hints that the baby isn’t Noel’s because she must have written there incest/sexual abuse that Dadong has been doing to Mila because there was one scene that showed that Dadong just went into Mila’s room and we all know what happened next after that. There are no locks for the doors because they apparently “broke” so the dad could just go in anyroom anytime, even the comfort room.

The mother is jealous of Mila because Dadong is always focusing on Mila, it’s always Mila 24/7. Everything that Dadong does it’s always about Mila, Mila, Mila. She can’t do anything because she loves Dadong and Mila, leaving her no choice she has to submit herself for love. However, I think that Mila’s mom was doing all that not just because she’s mad, jealous, and in denial but because she wants Dadong’s attention back to her.

When Noel and Mila finally escaped the shackles of Dadong they went to Los Banos and tried to start a new life there. However, Dadong still managed to find a way to make them go back to them. He made a compromise to his “masculinity” for a little while so that they’ll just go back. When they went back Dadong did the “your mother is sick, please come here to help your mother out trick.” when Noel and Mila went there they got their clothes and packed but Dadong stopped them. This is the part where it was actually Dadong’s child not Noel’s. Mila was persistent on leaving the place which lead to Dadong’s psychotic decision to shoot Mila’s mom, Mila, Noel, and himself. If I can’t have Mila, no one can. In just a wink of an eye they all dropped dead in the room.

Kisapmata is also an anti-martial law film. Dadong represents Marcos because he’s like the overseer. He controls everything in the household, Mila and her mother are scared and are suffering because he is abusive, controlling, and he can do anything he wants. Noel, Mila, and her mother had no choice but to follow Dadong because of the power he has. The household also had a curfew that everyone had to follow including Noel. It was just like how Marcos had the power and Filipinos had to follow him. Dadong also mirrored Marcos because he was part of the law, he was a policeman, he had authority and enforced whenever he can and whenever he wants.

The movie was nice, it was an experience. I thought it was going to be scary but it wasn’t actually scary. It was more of a psychological thriller film, not a horror. The film makes you sympathize about what the characters are going through in the film. The sounds in the film were really amazing it gives off the suspense and gives tension of what’s going to happen next. The cinematography and how they framed some of the scenes in this movie were amazing for the 1980s. What made the movie even more interesting for me is that the movie was based on a real life case.

The film wants to make you hate Dadong for how abusive and annoying he is throughout the film and it succeeded. I was really hoping for Dadong to die and Noel and Mila to escape. However, it turned out to be a bang bang bang bang 4 characters drop dead, the end. No one got their happy ending and they didn’t have a chance to have a merry christmas. At the end of the film I realized that he was lying about the Php 10,000 tradition because he never got married to Mila’s mother. Furthermore, Dadong was confident that Noel wouldn’t be willing to pay the 10,000 but the love of Noel to be with Nila was strong and Dadong was certain that Mila was carrying his offspring.

There are similarities between ML and Kisapmata. Both films are about Martial Law and are Anti-Martial law. For Kisapmata Dadong represents Marcos because he’s like the overseer. He controls everything in the household, Mila and her mother are scared and are suffering because he is abusive, controlling, and he can do anything he wants. It showed the power and the authority. For ML it showed the gruesome tortures were used for the Martial Law victims during Marcos’ Regime.

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