'Round these parts we respect pronouns and chosen names. If you don't like it, thought... Art by Caitlin Blunnie / Liberal Jane Illustration. #respect #chosenname #skeleton https://www.instagram.com/p/CnITi5KSfdj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

its a good day to day some day today

Wearing my favorite heavy duty #persephonepants today and thought I’d snap a photo before the sun goes down. I love how these look with my #blundstones too! It’s been a very unproductive day, but it’s only a Monday so I have the rest of the week to make up for it. On the topic of wide leg pant and footwear... what are your favorite shoes to wear with wide leg pants?? For me it’s my Nisolo mules, converse sneakers and these Blunnies. . . . . . #annaallenclothing #handmade #sewing #pants #widelegpants #sailorpants #pdfsewingpattern #indiesewing #sewcialists #slowfashion https://www.instagram.com/p/BoIOs30hxd8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vsccusx0lmc2

Hike A Mountain By Yourself.

I accidentally did folding mountain today.

  I started my day early, despite ending it late last night. I was up and making coffee before ten, organizing my google drive and adding to unfinished pieces of writing.

  It was when I was further reflecting on the time I’d spent barefoot hiking, that I quickly became inspired to go outside and move.

  I packed my bag, extra layers, snacks, water, I even threw bear spray in there for good measure.

  I stood out in the parking lot, about to start off to cross the highway and do the trails I’ve so often done on the OML property. For whatever reason, I paused and looked behind me, and turned around, heading to find the beginning of the folding mountain trail.

  I’d had plans to go with Matt tomorrow, so I figured I better know where I was going. I found the entrance to the trail, and started walking. In my head I’d planned to walk awhile, see how the trail was, find a plateau to see a decent view from not too high up, and then come back home for lunch.

  No such beast. I should have known better, as stubborn as I am. The first hour was absolute garbage, easily ranging from a 65-75 degree incline. I had never experienced hiking like that before, had never walked at such an incline for so long. I was instantly winded, despite trying to pace myself. I kept stopping to catch my breath, telling myself that there's no way I could do this whole hike, I’m nowhere near in shape enough to climb something like this.

  I grew up outside of course, but my family was nowhere near this level of outdoorsy. I’d never done a real hike like this, let alone a six hour hike by myself.

  I was instantly discouraged upon trying to take the first hour. It wasn’t until I finally reached a break in the trees and a plateau emerged, and I could see the sky poking out from behind the trees. I stepped out into the sunshine, I was screwed, I knew I couldn’t turn back at that point.

  The mountains loomed out at me, taunting me to continue and to keep going.

  As soon as I reached that point the worst of the incline subsided, and I continued to press forward through the trees. I came out at viewpoints every now and then, which was enough to keep pressing me forward.

  I had no idea how long it was going to take me, I only had a rough idea as to how long the hike would take to begin with. I’d done little to no research. I tried not to pay too much attention to the time, I’d left my watch at home, and my phone was tucked away in my bag, playing music off my bluetooth speaker.

  I kept being pulled forward, the sky was so bright and alive, the wind howling through the trees. At around the hour mark (please note all time frames are purely estimations since I had no watch on), I turned around a rock bend and began to see more sunlight pushing its way through the canopy of trees. I was instantly pulled forward, as more sky began to peek out. I knew there was a real plateau coming, I knew I would get a visual enough to spark the flame lit within me to push forward.

  I clambered up the rock face, and as the trail turned I saw the reason why people do this. Mountain range sprawling across the whole skyline, the highway I’d driven down so many times before winding with the earth. The Athabasca river moving around the obstacles the earth laid in its way, with pockets of trees beginning to turn yellow with the changing of the season.

  I stood in the breeze, yelling to myself, hardly able to contain my own stoke. That was enough for me, for at that moment I’d learned that with the brutal hike, comes the moment of realization that washes your body when you get a moment to peek out from the trees and see the increasingly growing view you’re working towards. Its the push to keep going, the aspect of steadily increading height pulls you forward. “Yeah this view is great, but if you keep going you only know its going to be better”, the mountains whisper.

  Once I passed the first plateau I hiked a few kilometres through subalpine meadows, dragging my hands through tall grasses, stopping to sit in the flora and eat some trail mix while watching the view continue to grow in vastness.

  I entered back into dense trees, which is where I hit snow. It didn’t hit me how much snow would be at this level of altitude, so within a half hour my feet were damp through my suede blunnies. I hadn’t thought ahead, considering I had no idea I was going to do Folding today, all I was wearing were cabin socks, and as soon as they got wet my heels began to blister, rubbing against my heels.

  Slightly discouraged, I plunged forward. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was so driven to keep going or to do this, but regardless my stubborn self kept going.

  It wasn’t until probably the two hour mark that my bluetooth speaker died on me, leaving me in complete silence. I began to worry just a little, no one knew I was out there, and if I plummeted to my death or was attacked by a bear, no one would know where I was or where I would have even gone. Who knows how long it would take for anyone to find me. With that idea lingering on my mind, I smiled and kept going.

  It felt good to be off the grid like that, to know no one knew where I was or what I was doing, to hear absolutely nothing but my own thoughts in my head.

  I’d been walking through other hikers tracks in the snow for while when I finally got frustrated.

  The trail had begun to bend and had been sloping downwards for a while, my feet were aching, I had no idea how much further I had to go. I’d been under the canopy of trees for so long, I was itching for a view to keep me going forward. I was talking to myself, listening to my voice echo through the trees, I was asking for a break in the trees, anything to keep me going. I stopped, feet in the snow, and had to yell awhile.

  What was I doing? I’d never done this before. I’d had no idea what I’d signed up for. I was wet and cold, my speaker dead, all I had on me was an extra shirt, some food, and bear spray. No one knew where I was. The sinking feeling of the fact I had to at some point begin the DESCENT back down was already looming heavily over me. Anyone can walk for awhile, but what happens when you hit that wall and exhaustion sets in, and you realize you still have to walk down the mountain.

  I was off the grid of course, but I stood and sent a few texts to Jordan. I’d hit a block, but again, for whatever reason I kept going.

  Not a half hour after I sent those texts, telling him how frustrated I was, I caught wind of the trees breaking ahead of me. There was light flooding the ground beyond me, and I ran forward, knowing the growing lust within me was going be satisfied within minutes of this climb.

  I turned the bend, and stood in a break in the trees, overlooking the range, the heavy slope down into a valley of trees. I was standing on a ridge, I knew the trail ahead of me was the trail leading up to the summit. I knew this was the last final heave, for I could see the summit not a few hundred feet ahead of me.

  The trail was padded with thick snow, adding an extra element for me to power through, but at this point I knew this was something I needed to push through for myself.

  Walking along the ridge, I had views on both sides of me between the trees. Any wrong footing and I could fall of either side. I was walking in the path a fat bike had made previously, digging my hands in the snow on each side to keep my balance. It was so deep in some points I had snow up to my thighs. It was enough that I very well could have called it at that first ridge. No one was with me, I could have easily lied and said I did the whole thing.

  With every step forward I knew I was getting closer, despite more bends coming by way the more I climbed.

  The snow finally cleared, and I realized I reached the top. It was a fleeting thought of mine earlier, how would I know when I reached the top? I’d never really hiked a real mountain like this before, so I had no idea what to expect.

But they’re right when they say when you know, you know. I sat, perched at the summit awhile, drinking water, eating a cliff bar, sitting in the dirt in complete silence, while looking out at the range of the Rockies splayed out in nearly every direction around me, looking down at the sheer height I’d climbed on my own. 

I’d never seen the world from a perspective like that before. It guess that’s part of the thrill though, seeing the world from such a height and knowing that you got there with nothing more than your own personal strength, you literally walked to the top of a mountain. The only people who have also been there are also the ones who managed to hike to the top.

I see the appeal, it becomes a chase to some degree, especially when going at it alone.

My mind was sufficiently clearer than I thought it would be, it was nice to get a break to just enjoy the sense of quiet up there. No people, no cars, nothing except the wind echoing between the mountains and the trees blowing in the wind.

I stayed up there probably forty five minutes, but as soon as the cold of the altitude began to bite me, I knew it would still be a few hours to get down.

I wasn’t at all daunted by the prospect of the hike down. I knew the landmarks, I knew what I had got myself into, and with the element of the downward incline I wasn’t too worried about the trek down.

Upon clambering down the summit up to the ridge, sliding down a sixty degree angle through thigh deep snow, I then realized that if I wasn’t careful with my footing I could easily fall down the side of the ridge and into nothing. But with that knowledge I smiled, I felt I would be fine provided I respected the mountain, took my time, and was aware of the damage that could be done if I got tactless and careless.

So that is what I did, I took my time, and moved my body with the curves of the mountain. I’d learned with the aggressive incline it was easy to get carried away with my footing, and there were a few times I rolled my ankle, not horribly mind you, just enough to remind me to slow down.

With each landmark on the way down reminding me of the distance I’d come, giving me more increased perspective on the perceived concept of distance in the first place. Upon my way up, I’d come across the spring, an old campsite, stretches of meadow, all of which meant nothing to me at the time. However on the decline, seeing these simple mundane things brought me such light to see that I recognized something.

My mind was off for the most part, I’d faced all the struggle on the way up, so it was nice to be able to turn off my thoughts, and go with the downward flow of the path. Allowing myself to breathe sighs of relief with every break in the trail, I could see my view slowly becoming less vast as I slowly climbed back down towards home.

I reached the first plateau I’d come to when I first started, and knew that the last chapter would be close to the most challenging. I entered back into the cover of the trees, and found myself instantly picked up more speed from both such a strong decline, as well as the push to finish strong. I knew I was close, that I had less than an hour until I could collapse in a heap.

My thighs were burning from being activated for so long, I was trying to keep from breaking into a run down the slope, knowing that with speed at such angles I would no doubt fall and hurt myself.

My feet thudding against the dirt, I kept looking for signs of recognition, but saw nothing. It was all just heavy winding trail covered by high trees, I found myself discouraged, feeling like I would never reach the bottom. With a turn in the bend at long last, I saw the makeshift firepit the French boys had set up not far from the trailhead, and knew I was close. The majority of heavy incline was long gone, so I broke into a run, moving with the flow of the path, until I saw the last and final break in the trees, and I could see the highway poking through the woods on the side of the road.

I stopped at the trailhead, sweaty and red in the face, covered in dirt and exhausted. I looked back at the entrance to the trail, glanced at the sign to the beginning of the path, and laughed, smiling at myself.

I turned around and started walking back towards staff accom, legs numb and already dreading the pain I would wake up in tomorrow. I was filled with such incredible pride as I approached the building. I dropped my bag and sat down on the camping chair outside the common room, watching Andrew clean out his car while the housekeepers were cleaning the kitchen.

He asked me how my day off was, to which I replied “I accidentally hiked folding mountain by myself”.

The inquest into the death of a Harlow man found kneeling in his...

An inquest has opened into the death of a 48-year old man who was found kneeling on the floor at his home in Harlow.Paul Blunnie, 48, was found in his bedroom by his mother kneeling on the floor with his arms on the bed on September 12.His mother initially thought he was sleeping. ALSO READ: Paedophile sobs as he is jailed two weeks after birth of childEmergency services were called and police and paramedics attended the scene.Mr Blunnie was pronounced dead. Police are not treating his death as...

from Essex Live News RSS feed http://www.essexlive.news/inquests-opens-into-death-of-harlow-man-found-kneeling-in-his-bedroom/story-30519063-detail/story.html

2016 currentlies

september 2016

hearing, florida georgia line feeling, nostalgic reading, daring greatly - brene brown watching, too many movies thinking, thoughts of self-improvement wanting, support. love. comfort. a hug.  needing, weekend adventure. making, it by.  eating, grandma’s borscht.  drinking, david’s tea cream of earl grey planning, self-care loving, my flannels.  enjoying, random day adventures, rain or shine.  wondering, how i want to spend my heartbeats.  anticipating, a lot of change. a lot of growth.  favorite things

- grise Sitka flannel - wool socks - foggy, rainy west coast days - brunch with friends - my blunnies - slow mornings with coffee and a book 

october 2016

hearing, tv at grandma’s.  feeling, anxious & grateful reading, living beautifully with uncertainty and change - pema chodron watching, movies  thinking, about self-care wanting, a companion needing, rest making, decisions for myself eating, grandma’s home made buns drinking, cream of earl grey planning, my next steps loving, my family enjoying, the fog in the trees wondering, when i’ll be aligned anticipating, change. favorite things

- warm socks - toques - grise Sitka flannnel - army green pants - camp t-shirt 

november 2016

hearing, the lumineers feeling, cozy reading, my own words watching, one tree hill thinking, about timing & numerology wanting, healthy routine needing, to re-establish myself making, decisions for me.  eating, at new places drinking, chestnut beer from whistler brewing co planning, a month of happiness  loving, myself.  enjoying, kirsten’s company  wondering, how the holidays will go  anticipating, me being in sync. favorite things

- vanilla balsam candle - craft beer - nelson - new experiences - eggnog lattes - OTH - ripped knee black jeans - MBH & zephyr - purple dress. 

december 2016

hearing, back home - owl city & jake owen feeling, misaligned reading, the subtle art of not giving a fuck - mark manson watching, OTH thinking, a lot.  wanting, another human.  needing, to love myself making, space to do just that.  eating, toast drinking, caramel machiattos planning, 21 damn early days loving, my bed enjoying, life. wondering, when I will trust myself anticipating, rough mornings (at 4:30).  favorite things

- my bed & twinkle lights - balsam & pine candles - warm socks - toques - dragonfly - grise Sitka flannel - phone calls & facetime dates 

Why do pokemon games never go down in price over the years :( It seems like all the most popular ones actually get MORE expensive preowned cos nobody wants to part with them! PMD Explorers of Sky is £129.99! And even an imported american one is still close to £60! O_O I mean at least kind of a good side effect is that every generation with a third version has the original two be cheaper. And that was the only PMD generation that had a third version, so I could get Time or Darkness for £20. But seriously Sky is literally just the same game but with all the region exclusives avaiolable, bugfixes, bonus dungeons... why would I ever not want that!! Looks like I have a goal to save up for!

Me at age 8, registering first internet account: Ehh I’ll just name myself after my fave plush toy Me at age 9: ugh cringe, I’ll regret that as an adult! Me 16 years later: adulthood can buy you many plush toys The username: *persists* The bunny: *is still beloved*

Man, that could be a really good plot actually... have some villain trying to create an ‘ultimate being’ or revive a ‘god of destruction’ or whatever but when it finally happens the lil guy is just like an innocent baby who doesn’t want to do evil and they’re not somehow mind controlled or inherantly dangerous or anything, so they have to be a final boss like this one in this game did instead they disobey the big scary scientist, and your final boss is defending them against that guy cos I mean probably if its just been born it wouldnt exactly know how to use its powers, even? hmm actually that could be an entirely different cool plot! like, the evil scientist finishes making his ultimately evolved superhuman, but it turns out it’s a lil baby that needs to be protected while it grows into its abilities. and then over the years of living a goofy domestic life with it, they end up genuinely bonding with their experiment and giving up on destroying the world. tho that’d probably have to be with a more cyrus-esque character instead of the gross and horrid 100% irredeemable science villain in parasite eve. cyrus is kinda unique for being a ‘destroy the world’ villain who has sympathetic reasons for it, I think thats why he was so memorable? anyway blah this train of thought went off on many directions but my toothache hurts less so its all good, lol

auuuuughgglarggkele i really need to sleeeepp well at least i figured out how to use this microphone i guess gauuuuuuuug plz say i dont get a horrible migraine tomorrow cos i really really need to stop being nervous and JUST RECORD THE THING srsly spent a whole fuckin day just trying to psyche msyelf up for it why am i so easily rattled by incredibly minor things ‘i won’t be immediately perfect at this skill i’ve never done before, thus i will embarass myself entirely and make all my friends hate me” - a totally not irrational bunni thought about video recording why is trhis such a big deaaaaallllll need to sleep, will feel less anxious when slee aaaaa

I’VE BEEN SO PRODUCTIVE THIS WEEK I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

I’ve almost finished this big slow sprite project, and I also just have to nail together the last few pieces of this desk! I got the chairs done and i cleared away all the boxes and vaccuumed the place and washed the carpet! And I had only half of the desk done yesterday and now it’s all sorted and it’s just in pieces, yknow? All I have to do tomorrow is the screwing and the measuring to make sure it sits equal when its all together. That’s probably more of a morning task cos my eyes will be fresh and crisp, yknow?

Oh and I just need to finish the backsprite and the battle sprite and *fingers crossed* hopefully pull off this attempt number 4 to randomize the other trainer sprites. Oh and how to hack in the teeny tiny map icon! That’s surprisingly tricky cos its stored in a different area of the rom. I keep worrying a filesize is gonna be too big and I’ll accidentally corrupt data later in the game and not even know til I get there... or crap up the palettes into hell... Oh oh oh and I have a good idea for an animated intro! But I think that can wait til whenever I finish it.I don’t wanna delay the first episode any longer cos of my perfectionism, lol! I’m also gonna do the other overworld sprites (biking, surfing, berry planting, etc) whenever I reach them, cos that’ll probably be several episodes in.

Also i was considering calling it Lunatic Platinum to make it more unique? Cos this has turned into more than just a randomizer, after all. Also Lunatic Pandora was an area in FF8 that had a cool theme tune. If they ever do a missingno boss battle or anything, this would be quite fitting! Also entirely randomly, another unrelated game with an area with Lunatic in the title, which is also a laboratory, but this one is Wholesome And Calming instead. ALSO another calming laboratory from that same name, though not a Lunatic one. Also, winnie the pooh minigame theme.

Social anxiety saves lives??

Huh I just had a really stupid experience. Just turned around and some guy was climbing in my window! I often say ‘man, I’m so socially anxious, I think i’d be less scared of getting stabbed in a dark alley’ but I guess I just proved it was true?? I was like ‘UGH MATE, GO ROB SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY HAS MONEY’ and he freaked the fuck out and jumped out the window again! Then I just locked the window and turned the lights back off and went back to the computer. How the fuck has this experience not left me scared AT ALL yet talking to a customer service guy on the phone can make my heartrate hit the roof??? But also its funny to think about how the weird happenings today were all foreshadowing for this, and how my various social anxiety tactics managed to all work in my favour? Like I was all ‘wtf why is someone knocking on my door in the middle of the night’, and was too scared to open it. And then when i heard someone knocking on my WINDOW I just told myself i was imagining things, or it was a bird. But now in retrospect its obvious that the dude thought I was out because all my lights were off and I wasnt making any large amount of noise. Which is also cos of social anxiety, i always use headphones for the computer and dont have the lights on at 2am and stuff cos i dont wanna annoy my neighbours. And he wouldnt have seen me going in or out of the house all week cos I’ve been having A Depression Time. And then I didnt see him when he knocked at the window cos I had a piece of cardboard over it, cos the curtain rail is broken and its been a weirdly sunny winter. So yeah, a million coincidences of me being a failure at a human being ended up saving me! That and my weird fearlessness in the face of Actual Threat, which probably scared the living daylights out of him. Seriously I didnt even see his face, he just did this absolute piroette on the windowsill and jumped the fuck back out! XD Somehow I actually feel cheered up by this?? It was kinda badass? I was too ‘ugh really, today of all days?’ to even remember that ‘guy in window with knife’ is sort of a threat XD But also you can bet i will not be able to fuckin sleep now and first thing in the morning I’m calling my support worker and screaming HEY CAN WE BUMP THE  MOVING OF HOUSE UP THE PRIORITY LADDER PLZ I wonder if this is the same guy who smashed the window of the neighbour house last year? Cos that was right after they moved, and it seems this guy likes to capitalize on potentially abandoned houses instead of stabbing me like a man. CMON IVE BEEN CLOSER TO DEATH AT MY OWN HANDS, GEEZ!

ITS SNOW ITS SNOW!!

ITS SNOW!! There legit hasn’t been a damn speck of snow in my part of the country since I left high school, dammit! IM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA All these years of eharing ‘oh scotland got snow but you just get rain again’ and now MWAHAHAHA ITS FINALLY HERE!! its currently too thin and powdery to make a snowman but apparantly there will be a heavier snowstorm in the afternoon and i’m crossing my fingers for decent coverage! So anyway the excitement of snow overpowered my Even More Social Nervous Time After That Burglary, and I was able to head down the shops and pay my heating bill. It was easy to deal with the snow cos its been even colder indoors lately, lol! I fell on my butt a few times but it was hilarious and i had an excuse to wear my Cute Awesome Hat and also FINALLY use the gloves and scarfs set i bought when i was 19. They were a bit small for my hands so i couldn’t get them off again, lol!

Anyway its funny how britain sucks at dealing with snow! Not necessarily just because we have a low cold tolerance, but also because like.. governmentally we’re not prepared? Schools have to close everywhere but the most busy areas, cos its so infrequent that the government doesn’t have much measures in place to divert roads and sweep stuff. So even the most minor slipperiness can be the end for areas that aren’t considered governmentally important. Like.. its usually tourism centres first and everything else second. Its very annoying in my area cos they clearly came along in the night and swept the one road from the supermarket that leads into the motorway, but not ANY OF THE OTHERS! literally JUST the ‘people from somewhere else use it’ one. Like I mean i wouldn’t expect them to have the resources to do every single residential road but they didnt even do the main bus routes that local people need to get in and out! People’s cars are stuck in their driveways and they can’t even take the bus, yet that one stupid singular road three feet away has been swept spick and span for miles T_T And it also sucks because when you only have snow every five years or so, residents aren’t equipped to deal with it themselves either! like..NOBODY has snow shovels and now nobody can get anywhere that sells them! We literally only have the supermarket and thats the only shop for all of us to share, for miles around. And nobody has trucks in this entire damn country except for jobs that use trucks, cos we’re a very small place with loads of cramped roads and you need a professional license to be able to drive with the precision to get around them. So yeah everybody just stuck here with absolutely no way to battle the snow, except to get like.. brooms, spatulas, bare hands, whatever they can find. Standing for three hours holding a tiny cigarette lighter against the incoming horde! Even this super slow powdery snowfall is falling too fast for any of us to be able to shovel it when we don’t have shovels! So yeah people are starting to stock up and all the shelves are empty in the One Supermarket Shared For Everyone For Miles. This mild snowfall could equal being trapped indoors for weeks in this country unequipped to handle it! I’m just lucky that I live in 24/7 fully stocked apocolypse supplies land, cos i’m too socially anxious to go out often anyway XD I bought a 40 pack of long life milk just yesterday, lol! But I’m at least super glad to have my central heating back online now, and I can have a super relaxing mega bath while I wait for enough snow for snowmanning~

Does anyone know what time this new Pokemon Direct is gonna be? All I know is people are saying 26th of april but I can’t find anything about it on the official site... I kinda need to know to plan these things beforehand, cos they tend to be late at night or early morning in my timezone

I’m not reblogging the other radfem transphobia bullshit stuff i got tagged in, cos apparantly its a response to a million notes long post that i reblogged once. Ain’t got time to scroll thru all that shit when I know there’s nothing worthwhile at the end!

Man I really love in the harvest moon/rune factory/agarest/other dating shippy game thingies when u marry the character and u GET A CHILD CHARACTER TO LOVE and also ITS EVEN BETTER when THEY RESEMBLE THEIR PARENTS!!!!! I’m so sad when i play the ones in the HM series that don’t have that, its like im spoiled by the ones that do. YOU DID IT ONCE YOU CAN’T TAKE IT BACK YO!!!! its like the pokemon following behind you :(

So randomly I woke up from my nap and was like HEY I SHOULD DO THAT and now i’m editing rpgmaker default sprites to make Every Possible Shipping Permutation As An Individual Child and i even found a pack of remastered rpgmaker 2000 and rpgmaker vx sprites aaaaaaaa im gonna burn my hands off with shippery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man i wish they had a clear list of default names and personalities for everyone tho? I’m worried people will get mad at me if my headcanons for these guys are too different from the norm, but i cant play every single rpgmaker game ever and tally up the averages yknow? its annoying cos like three of them do have a name and a one line personality, cos they were the party members chosen for the tutorial maps. Tho its still vague like “Ralph - he a sword guy, generic shonen hero yep”. Would they get mad at me if i said Ralph doesn’t suit him?? And he could be cooler if he had a less generic personality?? aaaa and man for some reason i headcanon the pink haired cleric man as autistic, and i’m making up this entire goddamn romance route for him for a game i will never actually make I JUST WANTED TO DOODLE SOME KIDS WHY AM I CURSED WITH EVERY IDEA EXPLODING INTO FIVE IDEAS

anyway look at some Classic Rpgmaker Bebbys from over the years