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serpent-of-the-silver-plumes · 3 years

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would you mind talking more about bart and unreliable narration? I always hear people say unreliable narration but I've never seen any concrete examples from media I actually consume so I'd love your thoughts

Oh absolutely!! I actually wrote a thing about this a while back but then went 'this is not well written' and it got buried in my drafts, so I’m glad to have an excuse to pull that up and rewrite it. (Also sorry, this got really long.)

Basically, at one point I was listening to a podcast (Be the Serpent, ep 4), and they categorize different kinds of unreliable narrators into three types: the narrator who knows they are lying to you, the narrator who is lying to themself (and therefore you), and the narrator who is lying because they are missing some key information. I would argue that the three main pov characters of the Bartimaeus Trilogy each represent a different type of these unreliable narrators.

Going in backwards order, Kitty is the narrator who lies because she is missing some key information, at least until the third book. As a commoner, even one who is part of a resistance movement, her knowledge of magic is extremely limited and biased. Were we to go off of her point of view alone, we would get an inaccurate view of this world and the power dynamics that exist within it: that magicians are somehow special in holding magic and that they have evil demons who work alongside them in shared mischief/hunger for power/whatever.

However, because the books include other points of view, the full impact of that unreliability is not realized.

Similarly, Nathaniel lies to himself, especially in the later books. He ignores how much he personally contributes to upholding a system that depends on the oppression and slavery of other sentient beings, and squashes down the last traces of his moral compass. I don’t think he ever really questions the system of government or if it should be there and work the way it does.

To some extent, we do see through his unreliability as well, because Bartimaeus is around to keep a check on him and tell the reader that no, the magicians and their imperialism are bad, that spirits have very good reason to hate humans, and give us other world building details that contradict what Nathaniel believes.

But some of it is about what is going on inside Nathaniel’s own head, so there is also a lot that can’t be fully seen by an outside perspective that has to be assumed by the reader. Like he will deny the sentimental feelings he has towards Ms. Underwood and the guilt he had over Kitty’s supposed death and the fact that he even remotely cares about Bartimaeus, but actions speak louder than words.

Because both of these characters’ unreliability stem from a lack of understanding, having other perspectives in the book in some ways cancels out their unreliability, and actually ties their unreliability more to their character development than as a plot/narration device. Kitty grows more reliable throughout the series while Nathaniel gets less so until the end. This doesn’t make that unreliability useless though, especially in a series aimed for children. By getting each character’s point of view, we can see where they are coming from and how the knowledge and views they have affect the way they act, but there is also someone else to point out how they are wrong, to make you question how true what each individual says is.

Bartimaeus is entirely different from the first two characters. His narration is told in first person, unlike Nathaniel and Kitty’s third person. He talks directly to the reader and goes off on tangential footnotes that are not necessarily part of the events currently happening in the story. Because of this narration style, he also has the power to lie more directly to the reader than any of the other characters.

Given his life, it is understandable how he has gotten into the habit of lying. Every moment of his existence on Earth is spent under the power of someone else, so he lies in order to protect himself. There are some instances where he lies to his masters in order to escape punishment or to lead them into danger so he can be set free, but he also lies about his feelings because he cannot afford to be emotionally vulnerable.

For the most part, I think it can be assumed that the dialogue and most actions that happen in his pov chapters are told as they are, since much of that lines up with what goes on in the other characters’ perspectives, and also there are at least a few things that show him in a less-than-flattering light that he would probably leave out or change if he could. Instead, the lies he tells are largely about his past and his emotions, often done through exaggeration or omission, and cannot be collaborated by others.

When lying about his past, Bartimaeus frequently exaggerates his prestige and role in history. In Ptolemy’s Gate, Bartimaeus says that he talked to King Solomon about Faquarl’s tendency to brag about his historical importance. Even beyond the obvious irony, in the prequel we see Bartimaeus’s time at Solomon’s court, and while it isn’t technically impossible for him to have talked to Solomon about Faquarl, the timing and circumstances make it extremely unlikely. Although his other stories cannot be proven or disproven with what we know, this instance and his general tendency to brag outrageously makes it very likely that Bartimaeus at the very least embellishes.

However, despite being super showy about his past, Bartimaeus doesn’t actually include much important information. He very rarely talks about his great feats as a thief or assassin or anything else. When he lists his accomplishments, he describes building walls and talking to important historical figures. There’s a post somewhere (if I find it, I’ll link it) that explains this as being a way for Bartimaeus to try to take control of his reputation and therefore his life; by associating with safer jobs, he is less likely to be summoned for very dangerous and morally reprehensible jobs.

He does generally try to portray himself as clever and collected and just generally more cool than he actually is. There’s a moment at the end of the first book where he describes himself as trying to calm Nathaniel who is freaking out, and then the next chapter is from Nathaniel’s pov which describes him as being the calmer one while Bartimaeus is a fly anxiously buzzing around.

I don’t remember the exact line, but in the second book there’s an exchange that goes something like this:

“____” I said calmly.

“Stop your whimpering,” Kitty said.

The way Bartimaeus portrays himself is straight up contradicted by the more factual account of the words and actions of someone else. And presumably there are plenty of other times that we do not see contradictory evidence where Bartimaeus straight up lies about how he is reacting to something.

But one of Bartimaeus’s most unreliable points centers around humans. Throughout the books, he constantly talks about the ways he has killed and would like to kill his masters, if given the opportunity. Nathaniel is an exception, one that Bartimaeus does admit to the reader, but even in the third book when he talks the most about how he would kill Nathaniel or even join a demon rebellion if Faquarl offered right then and there, Bartimaeus does not actually follow through on these threats when he gets the chance. Despite all of his talk about how much he hates humans, Bartimaeus has as much of a positive relationship he can have with as many humans possible, given the circumstances.

A lot of his unreliability centers around Ptolemy, which is what some of Bartimaeus’s biggest lies of omission are about. In the first book, we do get the sense that Bartimaeus has a soft spot for at least some humans. His excuses of saving and looking after Nathaniel in order to avoid Indefinite Confinement, while likely not entirely false, do fall a bit flat. We even get a mention of “a boy I had known once before, someone I had loved.” Although this is not explicitly connected to Ptolemy at this point, mentions of brown skin and the Nile make a pretty obvious connection to Ptolemy, especially as Bartimaeus describes taking on Ptolemy’s form several times later on. There is a less obvious hint too, “I sat on the ground, cross-legged, the way Ptolemy used to do.” Even without knowing much about what kind of relationship Bartimaeus had with Ptolemy, that kind of detail shows ‘a devotion to detail that could only come with genuine affection, or perhaps even love.’

It isn’t until the third book until we learn anything substantial about his relationship with Ptolemy, and even then he doesn’t tell the whole story. The fandom jokes about how Bartimaeus just casually mentions in a foot note that he prefers a lioness form because the manes are annoying, and it’s not until the flashback that you find out that the mane is part of what got Ptolemy killed. And even with the flashbacks, you still never see the time that Ptolemy visited the Other Place.

There are a lot of posts on this site that talk about how Bartimaeus absolutely was idealizing Ptolemy, and how there’s some evidence that he isn’t the perfectly sweet never-did-anything-wrong innocent child that Bartimaeus describes him as (notably that part where he was vaguely annoyed that people kept coming to him to ask for help and interrupted his research). Not that Ptolemy secretly sucks or anything, but it’s really easy to let nostalgia skip over the less dramatic details of Ptolemy being an actual human being with flaws.

In summary, I would argue that all of the trilogy protagonists are unreliable narrators to varying extents, and Jonathan Stroud is a genius for how he manages to make it all work.

#bartimaeus #nathaniel #ptolemy #kitty jones #my post #kitty #unreliable narrator

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ponyguru · 2 years

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Hi, can you help me? I really like my little pony dolls and ive been wanting to start a collection of all the generation four gals if I can (i would settle for the mane 6 and a few others), however i have no idea where to start or how to find any, and on amazon i have only find weird knockoffs that have hard silicon hair. I also want to have an archive of all thr launched dolls, both mlp and equestria girls, but again, i have no idea how to research or really do any of this, do id really really like some pointers, or if you dont have any, for you to point me to someone who does.

Hi! Oh gosh, sorry for the late reply!! I'm not great about checking my Asks, and I only seem to get notifications for messages about half the time! >.>

So... it's a funny thing! Because when I was building most of my early collection in the early 2000s, the way to do it was to buy big eBay lots, and sell/trade any extras you didn't want from there. But now with eBay prices skyrocketing, and more folks getting into collecting/flipping pony lots, prices are all over the place - mostly ridiculously high.

Prices for G4, at least, seem to still be pretty low! More people are selling than buying. So if you're looking for G4 ponies, I highly recommend looking for eBay lots. I've still gotten some good deals there, even on harder-to-find ponies like G4 Minty. There's a fair amount of people just flipping them from the thrift, or selling childhood/post-fandom collections, so you can get good prices for them still. (G1 is less so! And G3 seems to be creeping up as well.)

I also suggest Mercari! Mercari is, unlike Facebook pickups, generally assumed to be for mailing items, so although there's some stiff competition, you can still find good deals! You can use that as an app or on their website! (If you are good at IRL stuff, you could always try the thrift stores yourself, or try local flea markets/toy fairs/Facebook sales! G4 is plentiful among toy collectors, especially those who trade secondhand, and you might be able to get some deals!)

I'm curious about what hard silicon hair ponies you're finding! I took a quick look, and I think you may be seeing the Ponyville/blind bag figures, which are minis. When I look on Amazon I still see some G4 stuff, but it's mostly 3rd party sellers, so it's very expensive. I still scroll through the Amazon Warehouse from time to time - you won't find older ponies, but if there's any newer releases you like, they may have those a little cheaper with a banged-up box! I found a cool Cutie Mark Crew set for $6 on there recently!

The most well-organized and comprehensive site, at least for the first few years, was Strawberry Reef (here's her release list by year), but I believe she fell behind in the past few years, since it only goes up to 2013. (She may have skipped G4 in favor of G4.5? I see links for G5 stuff there now.) MLP Merch is keeping up admirably, but I'm not sure if they have a chronological guide. There may also be some stuff in the various MLP wikis, but I haven't done a lot of research on that yet!

I suggest eBay by and large, but I also suggest checking out the MLPArena - it's one of the last remaining pony forums, and there's still folks selling and trading there! MLPTP is also still going, but they seem to be less busy than the Arena. I'd suggest Facebook, but the crowd there is Real Bad, and a lot of the folks who've become popular there were previously banned for being scammers on the forums. So if you join MLP groups there, be wary, and pay very strictly with Paypal goods/services - no friends/family, no Facebook pay. (Neither will give you ANY level of buyer protection!) There was once a feedback group for Facebook, but it turned out that it was run by some of the same scammers who got banned from the forums.

I'm trying to think of what else to say - I've found some nice and cheap G4 ponies on instagram flash sales, and I've also found some overpriced G4 ponies there! It really just depends on who's selling and how popular/packed their sales are. Jupiter.magia, for example, is a very popular, friendly seller; I got some great basic G4 ponies from her! But her sales posts would get claims within like .05 seconds. Ditto for Kristwoforks, a popular thrift reseller. She does a lot of sales, and has a LOT of fans! (And then of course, there's the classic "super popular seller who everyone loves but will occasionally scam people out of their items and attack anyone who speaks up", which I've personally run into in the past, as well as witnessed my friends get scammed by multiple Big Names.) Instagram, sadly, isn't a real sales platform, so there's no protection if things go south; your only recourse is through Paypal, and there's no real way to leave feedback, so scammers thrive there, as they do on Facebook. You have to be very careful and mindful of your claim deadlines, so I generally warn beginning buyers away from there until they gain a little more experience, and can pick up when someone's giving off bad vibes. I've found most of my IG buys from people I follow; they'll say, 'oh I got this last week from X!' so I'll go follow X's page for their next sale; or Y will get their sale post boosted on my friend's story, so I'll go check them out too. It's much safer IMO to find sellers by this sort of word-of-mouth, because then you know someone who had at least one good interaction with them.

I gave you a LOT of information here, ha ha, but I'm doing my best to be comprehensive! You've decided to collect G4 at a very good time, because with the end of the series, folks are losing interest, and selling off their collections. Not everyone of course, but quite a few! I wish you the best of luck in your future collecting adventures! And feel free to pop back around if you get stuck or have more questions!

#asuugarbooklover #ponyguru advice #idk if that's a thing but why not #long post

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comorbidfascination · 2 years

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Jango Finds a Translator

full fic list here

Vlemoth Port wasn't the nicest spot in the galaxy, but it's where the job took him. Jango recovered the stolen tome his client requested, but this was Boba's first venture off Kamino, and he figured they could spend some time together and find out what the book actually said.

Jetpack engines cooling to wispy smoke, Jango was glad to be off the towering station. Why anyone thought to take the thing out of orbit and stick it on the planet's surface was beyond him.

He entered the Slave I to a running leap from Boba, straight into his arms. "You kept an eye on things, right ad'ika?"

"Yes buir! Can we go into town now?"

Jango chuckled, "Why don't we go and see if we can find Arumorut? I've heard Clan Awaud's got a settlement out in the forest."

"You mean there's Mandos here?" The boy's eyes lit up like he had just taken his first look at the stars.

"If my memory serves. Let's go take a look." Jango knew that he might not be welcomed with open arms there, but he wanted his son to see other Mandalorians that had made a life for themselves.

Arumorut had a few more Talz wandering around than he expected, but business was business and more people meant more trade. Jango carried Boba on his shoulders to a building named 'Sheb Niktose.' A step inside made it clear that this was a cantina - likely the only one in the settlement. A few smaller buildings were situated around it, but this seemed like the place to be.

"Good on Beroya for starting something like this." Jango earned fewer stares than he had anticipated, but he lifted Boba into his lap as he sat down to keep wandering eyes on his own back. The lone bartender barely spared him a glance when she asked what he wanted. "Water for me and the kid."

The cantina was surprisingly empty for the amount of akaata'yaime he had seen on his way in. It was probable that most of Clan Awaud had turned to a similar profession as himself, limiting their time at home. Boba squirmed in his lap, reminding him of how often he was away from his own home, though the sterile atmosphere of Kamino had never really felt worthy of the title.

He ruffled Boba's hair and decided to spend a little more time on the planet than necessary if it meant giving his son a day to look back on fondly. When the bartender came back with the drinks, he asked for anyone nearby who knew about languages. "I know it's a long shot, but I've got some writing that I'd like to have translated."

The woman gave him a strange look. "Go to the first home you see on the left side. If Yuna can't read it, she knows somebody who can."

Jango's eyebrows raised under his helmet. He really wasn't expecting much, if anything. "Thanks." He left a tip with the empty glasses and let Boba lead the way with little fingers gripping his gloves.

The house was just as humble as the next, and a knock on the door had Yuna calling for him to come in.

"You should really lock your door."

The woman's black curls bounced as she shrugged. "Just came in from the back garden when you knocked, but I appreciate the concern."

Jango ignored her wink and kept his hand on Boba's shoulder. "I was told you can help with translations." He took off his helmet and set it on a nearby table, but both blasters remained at his hip.

"Sure, let me see." She leafed through the worn pages, muttering in Mando'a about the state of disrepair. "Well, it looks like S'kytric. The amount of apostrophes really gives it away." Boba tried to peer at the words and she tilted the book to show him. "See? Even we don't use that many."

The boy puffed up his chest and matched a stoic look with a commanding voice that sounded just a bit like his father's, "Haatyc or'arue jate'shya ori'sol aru'ike nuhaatyce."

Yuna grinned, "Yeah, that's got plenty!" She and Boba giggled at his rendition of the Mando saying. "None in Basic, though, unless you use a contraction." She then emulated his stance to repeat, "Better one big enemy that you can see than many small ones that you can't."

Jango watched his son interact with a stranger for the first time with a mix of amusement and pride. "Guess I use that one often enough."

Her grin turned to him, sending equal warmth. "Sounds like you taught him well."

Boba had been ecstatic when he was allowed to accompany his father on a job for the first time, no matter if it was a low ball for Jango. Any sense of adventure was more than the young boy had known. Jango had been wary of how he might act around someone that didn't look like him or a Kamiini, but the boy was already tugging at Yuna's sleeve to tell her about the things he had seen at Vlemoth Station.

"...And there were so many bald guys!"

Yuna's laugh brought him out of his thoughts. "You mean the Muun? They don't grow hair, as far as I know." She stood and walked over to a bookshelf lined with data pads and actual books of all colors and sizes. Eyes and fingertips wandering over the spines, she said, "They're pretty much in charge of the Station, but they don't typically go out this far."

There had to have been at least twenty books on every shelf. "I don't think I've ever seen this much paper in one place," Jango muttered.

"Hm?" Yuna pulled out a volume bound in soft leather. "Oh, well I'm actually a historian. Or a conservationist, I suppose." She let Boba run his hands along the indented designs as she talked. "I've been documenting all the information I can get my hands on about our culture. I've feared the extinction of the True Mandalorians for a while now, and I already bound old books as a hobby, so...here I am."

"Did you make all these?" It was impossible to keep the awe out of his voice.

She blushed, turning slightly to avoid his focus and select another volume. "Yeah, I did. From the paper and ink to the covers, it's all handmade. Not all of them are about our history, but I've got more somewhere."

"Mind if I have a look?"

Yuna didn't make eye contact, fiddling with the new book in her hands. "Curious to see how I wrote about you?"

"Something like that." He attempted to inject warmth into his words, but her hands weren't so steady as she gave it to him.

Boba tugged on his sleeve. "Will you read it to me?"

Jango pulled over a nearby chair and let his son clamber into his lap. "Alright, looks like this one is in Mando'a."

"I have them in other languages too, if you'd rather read in Basic." Yuna had remained standing, hovering by the bookshelf.

"It's okay, come sit with us!"

She gave the boy a soft smile and did as he asked. Not a word left her mouth as Jango recounted the narrative of the True Mandalorians, of much of his own life, though he could tell she wanted to comment as much as he did.

The first thing Yuna said when he decided to close the book was, "I found as many hard facts as I could, but a lot of the in-between was based on anecdotes and my own knowledge."

Jango nodded slowly, mulling over the information he had read aloud. "You're a good author. Maybe later I can give you a little more to write about."

The only one who realized the innuendo, Yuna gave a shy laugh and cleared her throat. "I'd like that."

Bored already, Boba piped up, "Now it's your turn!" He pointed to the worn S'kytric tome.

"How about I read over it and give you the highlights?" She glanced at Jango, who nodded.

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed, broken only by the crinkle of pages turning. Her brow furrowed, lips parting to form fragments of silent words. Jango watched contently, more interested in her than what the book might say.

"Well, it's no surprise the client hired you to retrieve it. Anyone who owned this book probably has an extreme sentimental attachment to it" Yuna showed them a particular paragraph. "This is where it starts naming every single casualty of Zeta Magnus' invasion." She flipped through a few more pages. "It doesn't even stop here. Your client probably knows or is related to multiple people listed here."

"Who's Zay..zayta-"

Yuna saved Boba from butchering the name, "Zeta Magnus was a scientist who conducted experiments that infected a ton of S'kytri with a plague that made them go insane."

Jango frowned. "That was just a few years ago."

"This was probably lost in all the turmoil. I've found plenty of random books and data pads in places they shouldn't belong." She set it next to his helmet. "Is there anything else I can help with?"

"Not really," He glanced at Boba, who was full of enough energy to power a small generator, "But a bit more time to stretch our legs would be nice, if that's alright."

Yuna brightened, standing to open the front door. "Why don't I show you the tree I was picking from when you showed up? I might even let you have some starfruit." She gave Boba a conspiratorial wink.

The boy shot to his feet, making his father chuckle. "Let's go!"

Jango and Yuna followed at a more reasonable pace to the back garden, where a particular tree towered over a small shed.

Yellow fruit peeked through the leaves, just waiting to join their brothers already sitting in a basket on the grass. Yuna picked one up and rubbed it on her shirt, then handed it to Boba. "Here you go, ad'ika."

As he munched away happily, Jango realized he had been smiling at her. "How long have I been doing that?" Clearing his throat, he spoke aloud, "How much for a Mando'a copy of your book?"

She blinked up at him. "What? I'm not having a guy who is essentially one of the main characters pay for the book."

He narrowed his eyes. "I said, how much?"

Yuna searched his face for a moment, coming to a silent conclusion he wasn't sure he'd like. "I want you to take two copies. Annotate one with your own thoughts and additions, then send it back to me."

Sighing, he agreed, though he fully intended on slipping a few credits somewhere inconspicuous.

When she went inside to get them, Boba ran up to him with juice all over his face. "Can Yuna come with us? Pleeeeease?"

He raised an eyebrow as he wiped away the mess. "To Kamino? She has her own life here, ad, we can't ask her to leave everything behind just because we like her."

"What's this I hear?" Yuna smiled as she returned with the books nestled in a plastoid box for the likely bumpy ride to come. "The fearsome bounty hunter, Jango Fett, likes me?"

Feeling a rush of endorphins just from seeing her again after what could only have been minutes, he was forced to completely accept that truth. "As well as the ferocious Boba Fett."

He made his fingers into claws and growled for emphasis, making Yuna let out a surprised laugh. "Well then!" She kneeled in front of the boy dramatically. "I graciously accept this honor from the fearsome and ferocious Clan Fett."

Jango bit back the automatic correction, that it was Clan Mereel. He had known for years, however hesitantly, that he needed to allow things to change. He had led the clan himself, had lost everything and built a new legacy. He and Boba, perhaps even the other clones, were a clan of their own: Clan Fett.

When her eyes met his, he knew she said it on purpose. The woman had transcribed his life, of course she would be aware of his clan name; Yuna knew more about Jango than his own son.

He then did something not even she would expect from him: he spoke without thinking. "Why don't we take her for a spin and bring her back here by sundown?"

Both pairs of eyes widened, then Boba began to cheer and hang off his father's leg. "Can we go to the pink moon we saw?"

Yuna was beaming. "Sounds like Eroudac's moon. We'd probably find more on the planet, though I only know of a spaceport."

Jango wiggled his leg to get the kid to unlatch. "I guess we can take a look if you're interested." His internal monologue was not so nonchalant, unfortunately. "Please say yes, please don't make me leave you, please keep making my ad'ika smile."

The look in her eye mirrored his own; warm, happy, enamoured beyond their limited interaction. "I'd love to go sightseeing with you boys." She ripped her gaze from his to face Boba. "Maybe we can find you a cool souvenir."

"Yeah!" He bounced on his toes, another starfruit in his hand. A sudden shout from the direction of Sheb Niktose made him freeze and look to his father.

Jango already had a hand on his blaster, but Yuna interceded. "Another Talz tribe has been feuding with the Gnazz. Occasionally the altercations get too close to Arumorut, but it's handled pretty quick."

"Is it ever more than shouting?" He wished he had his helmet on for the built in longlookers.

His voice had hardened like it always did when Jango tensed for battle, but she answered just as steadily. "I've never seen more than some shoving, but I don't go out much. If we can still hear it in a minute or so, we can investigate, but I doubt it's anything to worry about."

Jango had thought similarly before and been burned, but he let Yuna lead the way back into the house.

Helmet secured, he was already feeling a bit better. He put a hand on Boba's shoulder. "If there's anything I need to take care of out there, I want you to stay here with Yuna, alright?"

He pouted, but acquiesced without complaint. Another loud noise made him jump.

Yuna had started rummaging through closets and cabinets. "I'll look after him, Jango." From a box emerged a boot painted red for honoring a parent, blue for reliability, and purple for Clan Awaud. "Aha! Now I just need to dig up the rest of it."

Boba, with his endless energy and enthusiasm, dove right in and started pulling lids off of boxes. Jango decided he would best serve the situation by stepping outside and looking for signs of a struggle worth getting involved in.

The clothes she was wearing resembled a flight suit already, and so Yuna strapped on each piece of armor they found until she had her lower half covered. "The rest will be in the other room, but any ammo should be in the storage trunks outside." She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "It's been forever since I've had to fire a blaster, much less suit up."

"Just getting back to your roots, yeah?" Jango hoped she could hear his grin through the durasteel. "Scuffs like that don't come from sitting in a box."

Yuna looked down at herself, the wear and tear of battle clear on her cuisses and greaves. She shrugged and shot him a sly smile of her own. "How am I supposed to write about what I don't know?"

Before he could respond, Jango heard a blast, followed by a series of screams. "Stay here!" He ran in the direction of the sounds, praying to every deity he could think of that he would not see the slaughter of his people once again.

It seemed the enemy Talz had acquired reinforcements and pushed the Gnazz warriors all the way to Arumorut. A quick scan of who his fellow Mandos were protecting told Jango that to shoot the Talz wearing purple scarves would be friendly fire.

He couldn't yet tell who was leading the other tribe, or perhaps multiple. Somehow, the fiercest bounty hunter in the galaxy managed to feel sillier joining this fight than being hired to find a stolen book. At least then there was a clear directive and politics were not meant to intervene. This was messy, and likely useless for everyone involved, but he would aide his people in their desire to protect the Gnazz.

Heaving a sigh and rolling his shoulders, Jango raised his blasters and began shooting down the Talz unmarked by scarves. The other Mandos didn't create any kind of battle formation, also choosing to go after individuals. It was almost refreshing to see them fight with what looked like reckless abandon, but he could see was actual moves and techniques just thrown together without cohesion.

Jango shot another Talz, immediately punching another between both sets of eyes when they ran at him. Their weapons were primitive and they obviously were not choosing to be uncoordinated. These people were not soldiers or warriors, they were just angry enough to resort to violence; Jango had no idea why, and didn't care to learn.

Whatever caused the blast that had sent him running toward the cantina left scorch marks on the grass that wouldn't be easily overgrown, and a second blast had Jango whipping around to run straight back to the akaata'yaime.

Armor clanking with every heavy footfall, he sprinted until he saw Boba's little face peeking out of a window. His son made their gesture for 'I'm okay' and pointed toward the back garden.

Those same scorch marks marred a portion of the main road, but there was no one else in sight. A shiver went down the hunter's spine when an image of Yuna lying dead on the bloody ground flashed behind his eyes. He shook it off and kept running to her, finding that she was in need of little assistance.

A box of ammo, weapons, and pieces of armor had been turned over, spilling plastoid and durasteel into the grass. Yuna's armor glinted in the sunlight filtering through the trees, and Jango thought she looked beautiful with a snarl on her face and a blaster in her hand.

One of the enemy Talz had apparently snuck around the other side of the settlement, hindered only by those who hadn't rushed to the main fight. From the marks on the ground, Jango could tell that Yuna had begun her attack in the front yard, then made her way to the back where her opponent couldn't enter the house and she could access her storage trunks. "Clever girl."

Seeing something she wanted, Yuna launched herself into a roll, slipping a vambrace on and aiming a spout of flames directly into the enemy's face.

Jango almost wanted to sit back and watch her work, but he had better manners than that. He shot the Talz in the foot and called out over their scream of pain, "Last shot's yours!"

Snarl morphing into a feral grin, she grabbed her helmet from the ground and popped it on just to headbutt them so hard they fell on their ass. Yuna took one more shot, executioner style, and yanked her helmet back off.

Tossing her hair out of her face, she walked over to Jango. "Boba better not have gotten sick on the fruit I left him with. Are there any other Talz I should be worried about?"

"Probably. I left your clan and the Gnazz with the upper hand, but anything could have happened since then. Get the rest of your armor and I'll check on the kid. Then we can go have a look."

She gave him a mock salute. "Sir, yes sir!"

Jango rolled his eyes inside his helmet and went to the window where Boba was still waiting. Little fingers pushed the pane up just far enough for him to open the window the rest of the way. "You been good for Yuna?"

"Yes buir! I stayed inside the whole time!"

"How much of that starfruit did you eat?"

"Only two! I want to save some for later." Boba looked proud of himself for thinking ahead and Jango ruffled his hair in agreement.

"Good on ya. We've got to make sure everyone's okay, so I need you to sit tight just a little longer."

Big brown eyes could look so reproachful when Boba wanted them to. "Alright."

"Here, only use this if you absolutely need to." Jango handed over one of his blasters, amused by the now serious look on Boba's face. He pressed his forehead to his son's for a moment, then closed the window and returned to Yuna, who was tightening the final straps on her pauldrons.

"How's the little one?"

"He's fine. And I gave him a blaster just in case, though he knows how to hide."

She nodded, looking just as determined as Boba. "Let's see what they've got waiting for us."

Clan Awaud only had a few opponents left standing when they arrived at Sheb Niktose. The Talz hadn't even gotten through to the clan home or barracks, taking their first and last stand in the main entrance of the settlement.

A couple more able bodies added to the mix, and victory was secured; Jango felt a bit of guilt for doubting their ability at all. He turned away from the Mandos rounding up the surviving invaders to look at Yuna. She removed her helmet and he did the same, the two of them sharing a much more intimate keldabe kiss.

"Maybe this place isn't as boring as I thought."

Jango rubbed his nose against hers. "Ever been off world?"

"No...if I say why, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Not even Boba."

She sighed, as though exasperated with herself. "I'm afraid of heights. I don't even have a jetpack because being more than a foot in the air makes me nauseous."

His fingers twitched with the urge to hold her. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. Y'know I'm the opposite; I won't go under water for anything except my ad."

"Hmm," Yuna leaned in so their chest plates were touching. "I was so excited about going to Eroudac with you guys that I completely forgot I would have to go there in a ship." She giggled and pressed her gloved hands into his.

"Would it help if I held you? That's what I would do with Boba when he would get motion sickness. I'd give him something bland to eat and just sit with him, rubbing his back until he fell asleep." He squeezed her fingers lightly and she squeezed back.

"Yeah...I think I'd like that."

Jango let a little more of his weight shift so he could easily envelop her in his arms. She was so warm in every sense. "And if it goes alright, maybe we can take you on other trips. I've been to some incredible places that I want to show you and Boba."

They were still standing in front of the cantina, but Yuna let her head tilt back until their lips were aligned, silently inviting him to kiss her. He was happy to; letting chaste little tastes turn into needy licks and soft nips to her plush bottom lip. She responded generously, moaning gently into his mouth. When they parted for air, both were flushed and giddy, though Jango hid it more successfully.

"You know I'm gonna spoil that boy, right?"

He chuckled, "As if he doesn't adore you already."

She gave him a look. "Not for his approval. Because he's wonderful and he deserves it." Yuna kept ahold of his hand, glancing back as she led him down the road, "And that applies to you too, mister. You're both getting spoiled."

Jango hummed thoughtfully. "Guess that means I'll have to return the favor, huh cyar'ika?"

Her cheeks reddened at the endearment, earning a soft laugh.

"Don't worry Yuna, I'll take good care of you."

Boba ran out to greet them, blaster in hand. Jango scooped him up and holstered the weapon while she took his helmet to free his hands.

"I know, honey. I'll take care of you too."

#jango fett #yuna #my ocs #d3's post #jango and yuna #star wars #clone wars #jango x original character #🍐

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yamaoni · 3 years

Text

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

youtube

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

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astro-rain · 4 years

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter three - “penny for your thoughts”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader runs into a familiar face at the lake near her quarters in wakanda and they get to know each other a bit (kinda meet cute)

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my photo

The sunrise in Wakanda was one of the most marvelous things (Y/N) had ever seen. It was truly divine. Magnificent shades of burnt orange and gold bled through the boundless canvas of clouds. The sun, rich and saturated, was the epicenter of these vivacious gradients. It was almost as though Odin himself was painting the sky.

Her windows, encompassing the space of an entire wall, opened her room effortlessly. They led directly to the outskirts of a small lake that perfectly reflected the sunrise. It almost felt like a vacation. Or a dream, whichever came first.

She had slept wonderfully, but woke up early all the same. The beginning of her morning consisted entirely of sitting right outside her room staring at the ascending sun. She supposed she could've stayed there all day as Shuri told her they wouldn't start working until tomorrow; something about settling in and adjusting. Although she thoroughly enjoyed her quiet, warm morning, wasting the whole day cramped up near and inside her room would be a very poor choice.

There's so much here, I might as well enjoy my mini vacation.

She slipped on her shoes, closed the glass door, and made her way to the very lake she was admiring so dearly. She sat at the edge of the lake, letting the smooth sound of the flowing water fill the air around her. It was so quiet, secluded. She was alone; it was lovely. Tranquile even. Being by herself brought a strange sort of comfort, like she was safe and-

"Hello."

She turned around, still sitting. "Oh. Hi Jame- I mean... Bucky."

He smiled, and gave a ghost of a laugh. "Thanks."

"Did you need something? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, it's good. I was just looking around. This place is beautiful."

"Tell me about it," she returned his smile. "I keep thinking like I'm on a vacation or something. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to work tomorrow."

Bucky nodded his head in agreement. "If I was gonna be... fixed somewhere, I'm glad it's here."

"Yeah, no one's gonna bother us here. Except maybe Shuri when she shows you how much smarter she is than you."

"Kid's a genius," he chuckled. "I've only talked to her a bit and she's smarter than I'll ever be."

At this point he was still standing, his hands clasped politely in front of him. He was just standing next to (Y/N)’s sitting figure. It wasn't a problem until an awkward silence settled over them. She wasn't quite sure what to say.

She wasn't the best with people. She knew exactly how the brain worked and she knew how to analyze behavior, and when it came to her job she knew the right things to say at the right times. But her job has rules; if she's talking with someone, she's treating them. When doing so, there are specific sets of clinical terminology. There were guidelines to follow, scripts to recite. Talking to patients in a work setting was analytical and made sense. Talking to regular people was a bit difficult. There was so much grey area. Bucky was going to be a patient, but right then, in that moment, he was just another person.

"You can sit if you want," she offered, patting the spot next to her. "I feel weird, it seems like I'm making you stand."

He gingerly accepted such an offer. He sat next to her, but not too close. The respectful distance gave her comfort.

We both have our own space.

"Hey, can I say something?" he asked.

"Mhm."

"I just wanted to thank you, ya know, for coming all the way here. Steve told me about the whole situation - you and Sharon and everything. I'm just really grateful. You probably have a whole life of your own back home, but it means a lot that you came here to help out. I know it's not exactly easy."

Heartfelt. If she had to describe it in one word that's what it would be. It almost surprised her.

"Oh you don't have to thank me!" she sounded deflective. "It's my job. I'm just glad we have a chance to provide you with treatment after all the pain you've been through."

Was that too personal?

"I mean, after all this time, I think you're pretty deserving of a reprieve."

"Have you read my file?" he asked, a little quieter than before. He was staring intently at the lake in front of him.

(Y/N) rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, I did."

"Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"That you had to read it. I know it's a lot."

He sounded guilty, like somehow what happened to him was his fault.

"That's alright," she said almost too quickly. "I've gone through plenty of abuse and trauma cases. To be fair, none of them are quite like yours, but I'm not in completely foreign waters here."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I've heard you're more than highly qualified. It's just a lot of bad stuff."

"I can handle bad stuff," she replied, reassuringly. To her, it sounded more factual than reassuring. Unbeknownst to her, it gave Bucky some sort of comfort. Like he was in good hands.

Another awkward silence settled over them. Her eyes remained on the body of water in front of her; she wasn't sure what to say. Casual conversation was not her forte, and Bucky seemed rather shy himself. She felt responsible for any conversation that should take place, but to be fair, he wasn't talking either.

It was then when she subtly aimed her gaze towards him, getting a thorough impression of his features. He was, in all honesty, quite handsome. Objectively speaking of course. He was sharp features and soft edges at once, if you could consider that possible. And the bluest blue eyes she'd ever seen were luminescent in the direct sunlight. She reminded herself not to stare, and tore her line of vision away from the man next to her.

In lieu of this, she closed her eyes, leaned back on the palms of her hands, and relished in the warmth of the Wakandan sun. This lasted a few moments before she once again realized that not a word had been passed between them. She wondered what he was thinking about.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

"You look pensive."

"'M just thinkin'"

"Well, that much I could tell," she snickered.

He flashed a bashful smile. "I'm just tryin' to grasp the fact that I'm actually here. Y'know, safe. Ready to be helped. It's been a while. I keep having to remind myself that it's real."

Makes sense. He probably thinks that any minute, this seemingly secure safe haven is going to be ripped out from under him. Like it was all a rouze and he'll have to return to pain and anguish.

"It's definitely real...well, last time I checked anyway. But who knows? Maybe we're in an alternate reality and any moment we'll see a woman in a red dress," she joked, trying to lighten his mood and simultaneously referencing The Matrix.

It worked. He laughed; a soft gentle chuckle, but a laugh all the same.

"Woman in a red dress?" he asked through a grin.

"Oh, you probably haven't seen The Matrix, have you?"

His face scrunched up in endearing confusion. "No...?"

She adamantly ignored when the word adorable entered her mind when she saw his expression. "It's a movie, a classic really. You'll have to see it at some point or I'll feel like an idiot for referencing it."

"Oh God," he shook his head, "I haven't seen a movie in... ages."

"I think that's a crime in and of itself. They've gotten infintely better than they were in the forties, I can promise you that."

"I got a lot to catch up on, don't I?"

"Maybe a little. But don't worry about it. I'll make you a list!"

"Man, didn't think I'd have homework," he quipped, a meek attempt at a joke.

It made her smile. There's some personality! She showed some of her own in return.

"Man, I didn't think I'd ever meet someone who doesn't like movies of all things. One of the best things ever created by mankind!"

He laughed and threw his hands up in mock surrender. "I never said that! I don't know if I deserve such slander."

What a wonderful laugh.

"Watch every movie on my list and I'll clear your name," she beamed.

He feigned annoyance. "Fine. You drive a hard bargain, Ms. (Y/L/N)."

"That's Dr. (Y/L/N), actually."

Before he could question whether or not he made a mistake, she continued. "I'm totally messing with you. (Y/N) is more than just fine. Dr. (Y/L/N) sounds too much like someone's pretending that I'm my dad anyway."

"Okay then," he smiled, "(Y/N).”

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xxisxxisxxis · 3 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Eight

Very late, I'm sorry, I just couldn't post it without tweaking things here and there because I'm a little bitch that wants to get this right. I hope everyone has had a good Christmas!!

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, explicit sexual situations

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"It's not a death sentence, Viv." Sharise assures me in the back of the limo.

"I've really been a lunatic, Sharise, and it's not just because people have overexaggerated about how I've been acting--it's because I've actually been fucking crazy." I state as she sips her champagne. "I have a diagnosis and new medication to prove it."

"Is it ever gonna go away?" She asks me next, furrowing her brows a little.

"Nope, but it sure as shit can get worse." I tell her. "There's two strains of it and I have the second one which is just shorter spells of mania--a.k.a being a fucking looney tune--and leaning more depressive--a.k.a staying in bed for three months straight and not wanting my husband to touch me despite just getting married."

"You're not crazy." She argues, lightly kicking at my leg with her heel. "You just have an imbalance in your brain. It's annoying, yeah, but you're not crazy."

"I just don't want Nikki to leave me over this. Nothing screams stable marriage like bipolar disorder and heroin addiction."

"Shut up, you're okay, Nikki's okay, you guys will be okay." She assures me.

I think back to what his therapist wants us to do Wednesday...I can't tell him I'm pregnant. I haven't even told Duff and he should be the first one I tell.

I feel like as soon as I tell Nikki, it really will be over.

I get nauseous, my mouth watering.

"I need air." I pull the sunroof back and stand up, try to calm down, my eyes closing and my head leaning back as we stop at a red-light.

I hear the obnoxious rumble of a motorcycle coming to a stop in the lane beside us, and groan.

"Whew!" I hear a familiar voice call. "Your old man let you outta the house?!" Robbin yells over his the noise of his bike and I look over.

"He's in rehab!" I reply.

"No shit!" He chuckles. "Whatcha doin'?!"

"Getting some air!"

"There's plenty of air over here!" He informs me. "Come get on!" He gives a grin.

"I'm good!"

"Oh, c'mon, Viv, I've only had a couple shots!"

"Couple shots of what, is the question!" I reply.

"I'm not high!" He states. "Come on!"

I look at him, considering it.

"You look too damn good to be riding around in a blacked out car where nobody can see you!" He adds and I roll my eyes. "Come get on the damn bike, Viv, a couple blocks won't kill you!"

I rub my lips together, seeing that the light is gonna turn in a minute.

"You're gonna get me in trouble!" I say, going to pull my heels off.

"Not much more than what you're already in!" He says back.

I sigh out and start to climb out of the sunroof and he puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles loudly before he ignores the cars behind him and kicks the stand of the bike down, coming and grabbing my waist to help me down the car.

"You look like sex on ten-foot legs!" He adds and I shake my head, pushing at him playfully as we get on his motorcycle.

"Where the hell are you going?!" Sharise pokes her head out of the roof.

"I'll catch up to you in a minute!" I tell her.

"Viv--" the light turns green and Robbin doesn't waste any time with getting gone, cutting Sharise short.

I don't know if it's the loudness of the bike, mixed with the wind and Black Sabbath blaring through speakers I'm assuming he managed to beg someone to build into the Harley, or him smelling like a bar, so I know he's probably drunk and I'm focused on not getting myself killed, but I manage to get my mind off of all the bullshit that just seems to keep getting heaped on loads at a time.

We get to the Cathouse, eventually, which is where Sharise and I were headed, and Robbin comes to a stop and parks his bike and I swing my leg back over the side and put my heels back on, reaching for the strap to buckle it, but failing.

Before I can grab it, he's crouching down and putting my foot on his knee, fastening it for me before he does the other.

"Thank you." I tell him as he finishes.

"Wouldn't want you to break a nail." He replies sarcastically.

"Ha ha, smartass." I state and he chuckles, standing up, as I think back to earlier.

"What 'trouble' am I in?" I ask him.

"You think I didn't see you come running in with Duff while Nikki was OD'ing?"

"You managed to see that while you were running out of the room to get outta dodge?" I ask him, smartly.

"I helped Slash's girlfriend for a minute while they were getting you and Duff." He explains. "I got out of there before you had a caniption and killed all of us."

"I wouldn't have killed you." I argue. "Make you wish you were dead, sure, but actually kill you, no."

He smiles a little and rubs his lips together.

"So, Nikki knows about you two?"

"Yeah."

"And he still wants to work things out?"

"Yeah...no reason for him not to when he cheated on me with Vanity, first."

He just smiles and nods.

"I'm glad you two are doing that." He tells me. "I was really bummed when I heard he'd filed for divorce."

"Well, we're not outta the woods yet." I mumble and he furrows his brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm knocked up, Robbin." I blurt, and he looks down at me with this expression on his face of confusion and unamusement.

"That shit's not funny, Viv." He states to me.

"I'm fucking pregnant, Robbin, I'm not trying to be funny."

I snap out of it when Robbin repeats his question, "what do you mean?"

"Oh, sorry...I don't know...I forgot what I was gonna say." I say next, wishing I could actually tell him I'm pregnant.

When we get inside and get to VIP, Sharise is sitting with her arms crossed, brows raised at me when I sit down.

"What?" I ask her.

"You ditched me for a boy." She tells me, pouting.

"I didn't ditch you." I reply.

"You so ditched me."

"...Yeah, I did." I admit, smiling and she nudges me with her elbow, saying, "you better be glad he's cute or I'd be more pissed over it," and I laugh as she finishes her drink.

After a night of dancing and pretending I'm not reaping the consequences of my exponential crisis, I'm dropped off at home.

When I get inside, I see flowers on the small table in the foyer, and smile a little, seeing the little card that reads, "VIVIAN."

I pluck the paper from the vase and turn it over to read it.

See you Wednesday

—Nikki

My smile grows wider before slowly falling.

I'm not sure he'll even want to be with me after Wednesday.

I feel guilty because I know he's probably decently looking forward to getting all of this over with and starting over, yet here I come with a damn baby.

Putting the card back with the flowers and placing them on the kitchen counter, I go to my bathroom to get a shower.

Once I'm done, I'm staring at myself in the mirror, studying to see if there's any noticeable changes…

My boobs are slightly bigger, nothing too, too obvious--I guess Doc's observant.

I do look like I'm glowing a little bit, but I can blame that on starting fresh with Nikki and how happy I am because of it.

I open the bathroom drawer and pick up the little ultrasound picture I had taken.

A sick part of me has been hoping I'd miscarry by now so I wouldn't have to turn mine, Nikki's and Duff's lives into a shitshow, but I was told the baby's healthy.

I'm not sure why the hell my body refused to grow anything in it, I guess I should've looked into it after my third miscarriage in a row, but I didn't want to pry at myself. I just wanted to forget I was pregnant at all.

I regret that, now, though...I don't want to get a couple months in and BAM! no more baby, like in the beginning of '86. I should've looked into it earlier and so I could have figured out what was causing it so I couldn't let it happen anymore.

Despite us not speaking in years, I was certain my mother had, indeed, still managed to screw me over one last time. My uterus was septated and had gone unnoticed in ultrasounds for years--either by the hands of shitty technology or shitty technicians and doctors that didn't say anything about it. Apparently it was a genetic mutation that women could be born with and was a mystery in itself, but a part of me always blamed my mom.

September 1987

"Wait, wait, wait," I chuckle, Duff's lips on my neck.

Before I even realize what's happening, my back is hitting the mattress of the bed I share with Nikki while Duff's lips are tugging along the skin of my neck, coaxing a light vapor of moans from my throat while I grab at the bottom of his shirt, tugging it over his head.

Mine's next, lips pressing down my chest as his hands slide under my back to get my bra off.

My back arches to let the fabric escape, all while my hands pull at my panties, getting them down my legs before I'm kicking them off, the two of us chuckling, his lips coming back to mine while he goes for his belt buckle.

It's hard to pretend he's Nikki, like I catch my mind trying to do, because he's not as rough as Nikki is. His kiss is sweet and gentle--not weak by any means, and its still hot, but Nikki's is dominantly aggressive and attentive without even meaning to be…

"Condom," Duff says pulling his lips from mine.

"We don't have any." I tell him, catching my breath.

"...I'll see if I have some in the car."

"You can just pull out." I suggest, not wanting him to give me time to change my mind about this.

"Are you sure?" He asks me, fingertips running over my cheek.

"Yes." I grin and he slowly smiles and leans down again, kissing me.

I screw my eyes shut when he slowly pushes into me, letting out a groan under his breath while I take in a sharp breath, nails biting into his back.

"Are you okay?" He asks me, and I nod, eyes still closed.

"Yeah." I sigh out, hands grabbing at his arms, nails biting into the tattoo on his bicep as he pulls out of me and pushes back inside, huffing out a sharp breath, his forehead against mine as I lean up and kiss him, humming as he starts thrusting into me steadily, overwhelmingly so.

Unlike Nikki, he's not ferociously aggressive for the most part. He's more so gently aggressive.

I can't contain the near squeak that emits from my throat as he continues in and out of me, my arms and legs desperate to get him as close to me as possible.

The more I show that I'm feeling good, the more comfortable he gets, and the more deliberate his movements are.

"It--" I'm cut short when he pushes against my cervix, and my eyes roll back.

He's about to pull back out but I wrap my legs around him and pull him back in as I beg, "no, no, please, right there."

He looks down at me, eager to please, looking me in the eye as he pushes against it, again, a sharp shiver shuttering up my back and I cry out, arching my back when his fingers go to my clit.

My hands dig into the sheets, gasps and whimpers leaving me as he watches me, patiently, like he's studying me in the throes of stupidity and pleasure.

I'm trying to crawl away when he grins and starts hounding at me, repeatedly hitting the spot in me that has tears pooling in my eyes from pleasure.

"Please, don't stop." I ask him, my voice weak, and he sits back on his knees, pulling me onto him, grabbing my hips, guiding quick movements into me, making my thighs tense up while he looks down at my tits and the sight of him fucking me, before his eyes catch at my hip bone.

"Do you like it?" I ask him and he runs his thumb over the "D" in my skin and looks at me before kissing me, quickening his pace again, hitting my sweet spot once more several times while I tighten around him.

"Are you gonna come?" He asks me, and I nod, not able to speak.

I push him down to the mattress and straddle him before I brace myself on his chest and start riding him.

"Fuck," he says as he watches me, probably not able to believe we're having sex.

My orgasm hits me in a wave, my head back, my hands moving over his on my waist, before he sits up and pulls my lips to his hotly, our tongues dancing as he wraps his arms around me.

In a couple more minutes, he's holding me still while thrusting up into me desperately, and I feel my brain swimming on dopamine as sweat rolls down my spine.

"I'm gonna come." He tells me, shutting his eyes and licking his lips for a second before looking down at himself going in and out of me.

"Then come." I say softly, leaning forward, kissing, licking, and biting up his neck.

Duff lets out a sharp breath, his hands pulling me down onto him while he gives one last thrust into me, warmth spreading throughout me as his cum coats my insides.

"Fuck." I whimper out, my hips flexing, at the feeling.

"How the fuck could he cheat on you?" He asks me, reeling off his sex-high, his eyes running all over my glistened skin before he's sitting up, wrapping his arms around me. "You're so fucking flawless." He adds and I smile at him, brushing the hair from his face before kissing him.

Once I get off of him and lay beside him in the bed, he's looking up at our mirrored ceiling, that's recently been replaced ever since I broke it throwing a tantrum.

"That was…" I start, realizing what I'd just done, and he looks at me, his brows furrowed slightly.

"Are you okay?" He asks me, sitting up, probably thinking I'm about to cry.

"Yes, I'm fine." I assure him. "It's just strange to have sex without being left right after." I add, remembering the more times than not that Nikki would leave to go out after we got done.

"I'm not leaving." He tells me, his hand brushing against my cheek.

"I know." I reply, closing my eyes, my face resting against the pillow as tiredness creeps up on me.

He lays back down beside me, pulling me closer to him, and comfort consumes my body…

...Right before the roaring of Nikki's Harley pulling into the driveway shatters it.

I snap up, Duff doing the same.

"Is that…?" He asks me, eyes wide.

"Shit!" I whisper yell, the two of us getting out of bed.

He nearly trips, pulling his jeans back on, and I'm pulling my silk robe on, grabbing Duff's shoes, heading for the guest bedroom closet.

Once he's hidden, having to crouch uncomfortably to fit under the shelf, I'm running back to our room, spraying a few sprays of my perfume to throw off the sex smell.

I rush to the bathroom to wet a washcloth and get Duff's cum, that's leaking down my legs now, off, just as I hear Nikki's boots stomping into our room.

I finish cleaning up as fast as possible and get back out there to see him shirtless.

"H-Hey." I nervously greet him, regretting not fixing my hair from its roused state.

He glances at me and does a double take, his eyes snaking up my exposed legs before he's looking at me.

A slick smirk falls on his lips as he says:

"Whatcha been doing?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, eyes wide.

"I know what you look like post-orgasm, Viv. There's no shame in having fun with yourself." He adds and I nearly sigh out with relief. He thinks I've been masterbating. Perfect. "Infact," he steps closer, making me step back until my back hits the wall, and he puts his hand beside my head, trapping me in, "it's really hot."

I shift uncomfortably as his other hand moves to the curve of my hip, slipping under the robe to palm at my ass cheek, and I have to force myself to hold back a moan when his hand suddenly comes down to harshly give one good smack to my flesh before rubbing over my stinging skin.

"Don't stop just because I pulled up." He tells me, motioning to the messy bed. "Keep doing your thing and I'll just observe." He grins, his hand moving to my throat. "Might even get the camera out like the good ole days."

I can't seem to make myself talk, my breathing heavy, my tongue being bit between my teeth.

We stare at each other another moment before he loses his grin and runs the thumb of his other hand across my lip.

He leans down and I let out a breath.

"Nikki," I start softly, about to pull away as best as I can but he stops me, pressing his lips to mine for a second.

Our tongues meet soon after, and he's running his hands down my back, before pulling me up to wrap my legs around his waist, causing me to let out a moan as my back's against the wall while he threads his fingers through my hair.

I snap out of it when my back hits the mattress, his hands sliding under my robe to run over my stomach, up my ribs to run over my breasts before grazing down my sides.

"Nikki." I say after a moment, the two of us catching our breath.

"Take your robe off." He ignores me, pressing a kiss to the center of my chest.

"Nikki, no." I deny him. "It wouldn't be smart for us to do that."

"Why not? You've already drawn up divorce papers or something?" He stands up, pulling away from me.

"You're drunk." I bite at him, annoyed. "And what are you doing home? You don't come back home until morning, usually."

"Tommy puked on me, I had to change shirts." He says. "Not that I owe you a fucking explanation."

"Never said you did, Nikki. It was just a question."

"No, but you're looking pissed that I'm here so that's why I am."

"I'm not pissed, can you stop assuming things?"

"Whatever, Viv." He grumbles as I stand up, too.

"Yeah, whatever, Nikki."

"Oh my God, just shut the fuck u--" he stops abruptly, and I'm confused until I see he's focused on my hip bone, that's been exposed by my robe failing me when it shifts, and I see he's focused on the "D" on my hip.

He steps closer to me, angling his head in every direction to see it clearly, even laying on the carpet and looking at it from below, the same confused expression on his face.

When he gets off the floor, he's on his knees, holding at my hips to look at it from centimeters away.

"Nikki, cut it out." I scold him, trying to move away from him but he stops me.

"Ya know, the funniest thing is happening. I haven't taken anything hallucinogenic, but I swear I see a 'D' on your hip bone." He tells me and I finally get out of his grip as he stands back up, studying my expression. "Oh, hell fucking no, you did n--I know you do not have a fucking 'D' on your fucking body."

I had one in me a few minutes ago.

"It's not a 'D', Nikki."

"I may not have graduated but I know my ABCs, Vivian, and that's a fucking 'D'!"

"It's a Roman numeral for '100'!" I say back, smartly. "To represent the least number of times you fucked Vanity while we were together, so I'll never forget!"

"We're still together, Vivian!" He screams.

"Really?! Is that why you screw groupies almost every night on the road?!"

"Because I get lonely because my wife refuses to acknowledge me without screaming my fucking head off!"

"You were screwing another woman even when I wasn't perpetually angry at you, Nikki, what the fuck are you talking about 'lonely'?!"

"You know what I mean!" He yells back. "See, I can't even come home without you starting a fucking fight!"

"Then freaking get out!" I throw my hands up.

"I am!" He shouts, getting his shirt on and grabbing the keys to his bike and heading to the door and I follow him.

"Good!" I scream back.

He leaves, slamming the door, and I exhale sharply, forcing back tears, letting out a frustrated groan before throwing one of our wedding photos at the wall.

When I start back to our room, Duff is cautiously waiting in the hallway looking at me with a sad expression.

"Don't worry about it." I assure him, kissing his cheek, before stepping back to the bedroom.

"Don't worry about it." He didn't have anything to worry about then, but look at what five months did.

I shut the door of my car, looking at the apartment Duff's now sharing with Mandy, and let out a breath.

Tucking the picture of a teeny-tiny little thing growing in me into my purse, I head up and knock on his door hesitantly, hearing Mandy call, "coming!"

She opens the door and her eyes light up when she sees me, a big grin coming to her face, a softness to her sweet eyes that makes my stomach turn with nausea.

"Hey, Viv!" She greets me, stepping aside as if it's muscle memory.

Why does she have to make this so hard on me? Why can't she be a raging bitch?

"Hey, Mandy." I reply, going inside, glancing around.

"What's up?" She asks and I rub my lips together.

"I really need to talk to you and Duff." I reply and she furrows her brows.

"Are you okay?"

"Just have a seat." I tell her.

"O-Okay…" she goes to the living room and sits down. "Duff, c'mere!" She calls as I sit across from her, nervously fumbling with my hands.

"What's u--hey, Viv." He says, smiling at me as he dries his hair with a towel.

"She said she needs to talk to us." Mandy says, her tone causing him to look at me, cautiously.

"What's wrong?" He asks and I can hear my blood pressure in my ears.

"...I just...really, really, need to tell you something important." I say as he sits down.

"Alright." He clears his throat, the two of them staring at me and I realize I'm not freaking talking to them at all.

Just looking at them like a scared puppy.

"What's going on, Viv?" He asks me.

I decide maybe speaking right away is best, opening my purse and grabbing the photo, leaning forward to hand it to him.

He takes it and Mandy both look at it where I have him/her circled in a red marker, confused…

"Is this…" Mandy starts and stops, eyes shooting up at me. "Are you pregnant, Vivian?"

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I'm pregnant." I admit out loud.

A smile comes to their faces, which throws me off completely.

"This is good, isn't it?" Duff asks me, handing the picture back, "I mean, you and Nikki are working things out and he's sobering up...I think it's a good thing, you know?" He shrugs, his smile reaching ear to ear.

"Yeah." Mandy agrees and I have to take deep breaths to keep from crying.

"Duff, Mandy," I start, my voice cracking, "Duff," I repeat and his smile slowly, very, very, slowly fades as if he knows exactly what I'm saying before I finally say, "I'm pregnant."

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

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nancypullen · 3 years

Text

Melons and Murders

We didn't do anything special on the 4th of July. Because only 30-something percent of Tennesseans are vaccinated and the Delta variant is unpredictable, we're still avoiding crowds. It sucks because I really want to enjoy a ballgame or a concert. Downtown Nashville broke a previous record by hosting an estimated 400,000 drunken idiots for an Independence Day celebration. What could possibly go wrong there, right? So we stayed home, grilled some brats, and watched tv while our neighborhood lit up like a combat zone. It was insane. After all of that grumpy complaining, I'm actually here to pay tribute to summer food. As far as I'm concerned, the absolute QUEEN of the summer is the Sugar Kiss melon.

This melon will change your life. I've never tasted anything so good. Don't be deceived into thinking this is just a cantaloupe. This is magic in your mouth. This melon tastes like it's been injected with vanilla and sugar. They're only in season for a brief part of the summer and we eat about three a week. Not even kidding. We get ours at Publix, even though I've seen and purchased them elsewhere, the Publix melons seem to be at peak freshness. I don't know if Kroger warehouses theirs before they're in stores or what, but the Publix melons are superior. You'll spot Sugar Kiss melons right away, wrapped in their distinctive blue mesh and set apart from the other cantaloupe. Get one (no, seriously, get two) and you can thank me later. It wouldn't be summer without watermelon. I buy one every Saturday, chunk it up and keep it in a big, lidded tub in the frig. When I come in from working in the yard, hot and sweaty, a couple of pieces of chilled watermelon cools me down faster than anything I could drink. Mickey says the same thing. It's always sad toward the end of summer when watermelon becomes scarce. I have some heirloom seeds from my Grandma Ethel's watermelon patch that I treasure, and I haven't had the courage to plant them. How silly is that? I'd hate to get my hopes up and have some stupid pest ruin everything. Anyyywhooo...back to watermelon. Aside from just eating it straight, I'm addicted to this combo.

Day after day, I drop chunks of watermelon into a bowl, sprinkle some feta and a bit of chopped, fresh mint leaves, then top it with a quick squeeze of lime, just a little. Holy moley, I hear angels sing when I eat this. The super sweet melon, the salty feta, the zing from the mint and the lime - it's everything a summer dish should be. It doesn't hurt my feelings that it's really pretty to look at too. Know what else I'm addicted to? Breakfast salads. I love breakfast, it's my favorite meal of the day. I would be content to eat a hearty breakfast and then just nibble for the rest of the day. Normally I'll dice up tomato and onion and get it sizzling in a skillet, then I'll throw in some riced broccoli.

Once that's cooked through, I season and scramble two eggs and pour that in - a few stirs with a spatula and I've got a bowlful of veggie eggs and a yummy breakfast. If you're so inclined and can spare the calories, add cheese or bacon or whatever floats your boat. It's delicious, low in calories and fat, offers plenty of protein and fiber, and will keep you full all day. Winner. Lately I've been throwing together a flavorful salad...spring greens, a quarter of an avocado, a tablespoon of feta, and a tablespoon of crumbled bacon. Super simple.

Then I spritz a pan with a little olive oil and fry an egg. I season it like crazy and plop it right on top of the salad.

When I cut through the egg it releases the warm, yummy yolk as a dressing and coats everything. It's a delicious, healthy breakfast. The mister and I are still working the Weight Watchers thing. It's so stinkin' easy and NOTHING is off limits. I'm on the Purple Plan because I don't like to log things, so I have a bazillion "free" foods but only 16 points a day. The items that cost me are fatty things like mayo and butter. As long as I eat clean and whole foods (even whole grain pasta is zero points for me!) I can finish every day with points to spare. A grilled chicken breast with roasted broccoli and sweet potato is a zero point meal. How simple is that? Of course, that doesn't mean I don't have treats. It didn't take me long to figure out that a macaron is just two points and totally worth it. I'm down 21 pounds and it's been embarrassingly easy to do. It's been a slow drip, pretty much a pound a week, but it's the easiest diet I've ever been on and I think I've tried them all. Sorry, I rambled. I promised melons and murder. The murder part is really more of a question for you. It's no secret that I'm a true crime junkie. My DVR history is frightening- Snapped, Cold Justice, etc. My reading list looks like I'm either planning or solving a murder. But I'm new to true crime podcasts. When I'm at my desk I like to listen to a murder or two, usually tuning into a Dateline series (the Mommy Doomsday episodes will blow your mind). I'm in the market for other podcasts though, so I'm asking for your favorites. You don't have to answer here, you can always send suggestions to [email protected] - no need to create a Tumblr profile or any of that. Hit me with your favorites, My Favorite Murder? Anatomy of a Murder? Crime Junkie? Sword & Scale? Do tell! Gotta' go. It's time for me to trot out to the garden and pick more cucumbers and have a chat with the birds and squirrels. Summer is in full swing and I intend to enjoy these days. Besides, if I don't go out and get sweaty, I can't justify eating more melon. I have an agenda. I hope you're having some fun with your day. Stir up some giggles, even if you're just laughing at yourself. I used to write jokes on Post-It notes and leave them on the doors of bathroom stalls at work. I wonder how many pantsless people chuckled ? Go spread some sunshine and make sure you get some on yourself. Stay safe, stay well, stay sunny. XOXO - Nanccy

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bluu-ghost · 4 years

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I'd love to see what you do with #46 on the 100 prompts list 👀 :)

oh YES

100 prompts list #46 - “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“You have no idea who I am, do you?” Poison groaned, their voice echoing in the mask.

“Should I?” Jet struggled to keep a poker face as the awful blue …thing bobbed around where Poison’s head should be. He wanted to burst out laughing, but then Poison would stop being ridiculous and go off in a huff, and he couldn’t have that.

“I’m MouseKat! Y’know – ‘Ears up, smiles on, it’s Mouuuuuuse-Kat!’”

It was wobbly and cracked rendition of the most inane tune Jet had ever heard that did it. Jet muffled his sniggers in the crook of his arm, but it was enough to have Party taking of the mask – much to his disappointment – and flop dejectedly down in the diner seat in front of him.

“Shut up,” they grumbled, “I’m fuckin’ hilarious.”

“Uh, yeah, exactly.”

“No! that doesn’t count! You didn’t get it.” Poison shoved the mask across the table from them

“Well shit, sorry for not being properly indoctrinated as a kid.” Jet leant back and contemplated the furry monstrosity in front of him. The thing was unnerving was what it was. Bright blue, with some kind of unidentifiable mammal snout. He wasn’t sure that BLI didn’t use it to scare kids into line.

Poison didn’t seem to have heard him, lost in the brooding of unshared nostalgia. This was a nice change from their usual brooding though, Jet could tell it was much lighter. At least this amalgam of papier maché, fluff, and nightmares found in a shed full of trash brought some joy to the world.

“Can’t believe you don’t know MouseKat,” they muttered.

Jet paused a second, considering.

“I mean, that’s true, but no one else from the desert will have either. And I bet the exterminators didn’t watch the same cartoons as you growing up.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m sayin’, I bet it’ll freak people out.”

The corner of their mouth curled, and their eyes started to light up.

“You mean in a sort of, I don’t know, fucked up reflection of their own mascot?”

Jet thought it was plenty fucked up already, but kept that thought to himself.

“Sure, go to town with some paint, give it some wear and tear, show it a few firefights.”

“Hm, and I have been looking for a frame for the rebreather parts.”

They turned the head over in their hands, figuring out what exactly they could do to it. The bulging eyes stared at Jet and he shivered. It was almost too effective.

The whirring of the devious planning machinery that made up Poison’s brain was cut off as they both heard the sound of a bike pulling up. Jet was about to comment on how early the others were back when Poison jumped up and shoved the mask back on their head, running out the door with no regard for how upsettingly it wobbled and span. Oh no.

From outside the diner Jet could hear an unmistakeable Ghoul screech.

“MOUSEKAT!”

The three of them came together in a cacophony to rival even the worst that Spiders With Skates’ live shows had to offer as they launched into what must have been a full version of the shit Poison had come out with earlier. Jet, however, was already holding his head in his hands, blocking his ears as much as possible. Fucking city-borns.

#heheh thanks!#owly-bee #party poison #jet star #mousekat #ghost.writing #I will now go to sleep and do the other one tomorrow but pls send more! I will get to them promise #it is just 3:49 am rn

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braindeadskeletons · 4 years

Note

I'd like to request a matchup of you don't mind! I dunno what to put down so I'm gonna ramble and call it good,, I'm 5'2 [and a half. I'm adamant about that half] and have adhd + severe anxiety! I tend to ramble a lot! I do have haphephobia, which means I hate being touched.i get violent when its not on my own terms or with people I trust. I'm very protective of people I love! I really like stars and bonfires! I'm my friend groups therapist,which I don't mind.I love reading and naps, Thank you!

I saw that you didn't mind two posts being used for the match up- I thought I'd give you more to work with! I have a kitten called sweetpea who's a RAT but she gets away with it! I have a ton of books,everywhere,I'm running out of space. I seem mature when alone but with friends I can and will hop from a giant pipe to a higher up one just to prove I can,scratches or not.I've put a small lightbulb in my mouth and broke it on accident, I felt like this was important to include

Hello! May I just say that I absolutely adore the utter chaos of a human being you are?? Like hello?? You accidentally broke a lightbulb in your mouth?? I appreciate greatly that you told me this but also please explain?? Why was it in your mouth?? How did it break?? Did you just?? Chew?? And didnt expect it to break?? You just had it in your mouth and when it broke you had glass in your mouth looking like: :0

please I'm begging you for a story time wether its dm or on here through submissions/asks for all of us to see and behold

aLSO PLEASE I I DON'T KNOW SWEETPEA BUT TELL THE RAT CAT I LOVE HER THANK YOU

Okay now onto the actual matchup I'm sorry I rambled you literally just left me with so much to think about. These questions will haunt me. I want you to know that. This matchup is a fever dream and I mean that in the best way possible.

I match you with Underswap Sans!

No doubt in my mind that this is your guy. This is a cursed couple. You both frighten people immensely and for you two that is a mission well done. You genuinely bring out both the best and the worst in Sans. On one hand, he has never been happier with anyone! On the other hand, Papyrus suspects that the reason as to why Sans was missing in the ball pit for 72 hours then later retrieved with 24 stolen items in hand was your doing. How did you play a role in this? He doesn't know yet but he'll figure it out.

You think that Sans is innocent? A bouncing blue baby boy man? No. Well yeah, but also no. He seems like a very happy skeleton who just wants to help others, and yeah that's still accurate; but he's also a literal troll. You both can relate to each other due to how people see you as mature at first, which isn't incorrect i'm assuming but you're also capable of utter chaos. Nobody suspects him to do half the chaotic shit he does. He will be the cause of Armageddon. This man single handedly causes the world to end. Normally Papyrus is the one to keep him from doing something chaotic but with you here now? Now it's just utter chaos. If you do something stupid just to prove that you can, Sans is not too far behind to prove that he can also do it but better. Genuinely the worst part of all of this is how Sans has his own motorcycle he rides and he can take you wherever you need to go. Want to go into some obscure area people fear to cause chaos? Sans will drive you no questions asked. He does have some limits however, for example y'know, he'd be immensely concerned if someone broke a lightbulb in their mouth.

----------

You: hehehe

You: hey sans look

Sans: HM?

You: [shoves lightbulb in mouth]

Sans: :0

You, voice muffled: isn't this cool?

[insert shattered lightbulb noises]

You: :0

Sans: OH FUCK

Sans: HUMAN ARE YOU OKAY

You: :00

----------

Whether or not at the end you're shocked about how Sans cursed or you're still in shock about the glass in your mouth is up for interpretation.

Honestly most of the stuff you two do together are your ideas. Sans just really wants to impress you and show you how magnificent he is! So please, of course you two can have fun, but don't completely rot this skeleton's mind. Not that Papyrus would allow that anyways. You both are essentially the Sans protection squad, and you're both very protective and would die for Sans before he got hurt, but Papyrus is the more responsible one out of the two members of the squad. Depending on how you view Papyrus, that can be seen as concerning.

Okay let's actually get serious for a moment here since I got carried away. That's my bad lol. When it comes to physical touch, Sans would typically all for it! However the moment you inform him that you have haphephobia he initially doesn't understand what that is. Once he does the research and understands it'd be totally alright with him! He respects your boundaries and wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. Sometimes you'll have to remind him since when he's happy his immediate instinct is to hold the person closest to him, but a light reminder is enough to get him to back off again. If you ever want to try and overcome your phobia, he'll be right there. If not, that's okay with him too! He's here to support you no matter what.

It's important to mention that I personally headcanon that this version of Sans also has ADHD. Sooo in terms of usefulness, he's very sorry, but he isn't going to be of much help since he has a lot of the same habits you do. He can offer you some of his fidget toys if you'd like them though, and some pointers as to how he handles having it! Papyrus has gotten him plenty once he was officially diagnosed by Undyne and he's very happy to share! Sometimes both of your conditions lead to hilarious conversations and rambling since you both have that habit. Or just no conversation. Sometimes the two of you will be mid conversation and you both just kinda.

Forget.

You both forget what you were talking about.

In quiet acknowledgment you both just decide to move on to something else and not dwell on it.

However with anxiety, Sans is willing to do anything he can to help you! Would you like something to distract you? Soothing words? He knows that you typically don't like touch, but would it help in this situation? Would you like him to breathe with you? He's trying his best to help you in any way possible and he's there to listen if you need him.

Speaking of listening to each other, Sans appreciates the fact that you listen to people so much. He loves his brother very much but being treated like a child is frustrating, you know? Sans is an adult just like his brother and he has his own worries and problems. He won't like it if you try to treat him like a kid, so please refrain from doing that if you could. He'd greatly appreciate that.

Most of your date nights take place in your own home! Once Sans learned that you had a cat he was immediately determined to become besties with your cat. I'd personally like to imagine that your cat, for whatever reason she might have, doesn't feel the same way. If he ever cat sits it goes a little like this:

----------

You: hey Sans, I'm home! How was sweetpe-

Sans, covered in scratches: SHE WAS GREAT

Sweetpea: >:)

You:

You: o h ?

Sweetpea: >:))

Sans: I FEEL LIKE WE REALLY BONDED TONIGHT

----------

Yeah, it isn't great. But Sans hasn't given up just yet!

For dates Sans tends to take you out to places such as bookstores (a popular location for you two), the movies, restaurants, the park, and then end the night at his place! Alternatively, Sans would love to set up bonfires and a night of stargazing with you! If you'd like him to he could invite a handful of his friends and yours to share the night together with. If not, he's more than happy to sit with you and gaze at the stars as he lists all of the reasons in his head of why he loves you so damn much. These are the moments he loves the most with you. Just spending time together, no one else there to disturb you two and the beauty of the stars above.

#i am 100% serious about the storytime #please i need to know #also i know nothing about sweetpea but i'd die for her #please let her know that #I had a lot of fun writing this!#sorry if it's overly chaotic I just got carried away as always lmao #Underswap #Underswap x reader #x reader #reader #matchup #Undertale Matchup #underswap sans #underswap sans x reader

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skeletorific · 4 years

Note

man i bet it's super odd for the ancestor trolls to be putting out pale feels on anyone, much less a human. I can just see the most frustrated lil ball of horns and teeth trying to figure out if theres, ya know, *room* in a human's life for moirailegence with this whole platonic structure called a family and the only-one-romance-a-hooman standard/stigma and. they need a pap just tryin to figure it out! If you wouldn't mind, i'd love to hear your take on how psiionic darkleer, n dualscar would do

Me skating the fuck in to answer Ancestors requests. (I’m assuming this is in reference to my Ancestors live on Earth C timeline, but the headcanons themselves will work for just a general human interaction, I promise)

So, a note about Earth C and quad: I really can’t imagine that troll, human, and carapacian concepts of romance wouldn’t start to mingle, at least to a certain extent. After all, the three species come up at the same time, right alongside each other.

Quadrants aren’t exactly the norms for humans even there. Our reproductive needs are different, for one-thing. Additionally, I have to imagine that even without the social coding of Earth-A, a good chunk of humans would probably still tend to be fairly monogamous, especially if one of the primary texts left behind was written by a human woman raised on human monogamy who took only one lover herself. However, there’s probably a healthy chunk of humans who go by quadrants, trolls who go by human romance, and some who mix and match (for instance, “This is Ben, my significant other, and this is Meryll, my kismesis”). Its something most people figure out as they get older.

However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the ancestors have cottoned on to the nuances of it all. Getting the idea of human monogamy through their heads was hard enough, and once it happens, of course THEN they have to catch pale feelings for one of the squishy fucks!

The Psiionic: So, unlike the other two on this list, Captor has actually had some experience with relationships that are a little more....fluid. Vantas and Leijon’s relationship always fell squarely in the middle of the chart, borrowing elements from all and none. Hell, his OWN relationship with the two of them tiptoed pitch, pale, ashen, and flushed depending on the day of the week. So, while he does still broadly conceive of things like an Alternian, its not necessarily an insurmountable barrier for him.

How he proceeds depends a lot on whether or not the human already has an s/o. If you do, he ultimately just bites the bullet and asks to talk to both of you (bringing Vantas and Leijon along for emotional support). He doesn’t want to move in where he’s not welcome and he’s got no designs on your flushed relationship. He’s quiet and his voice is shaking a bit as he struggles to keep his nerves (and by extent, his psiionics) under controll. But he’s never seen the point in fucking around the pricklefrond. Either you feel the same, or you don’t.

If you don’t have an s/o, though, he just sort of carefully allows himself to become a feature in your life. He’s a little shakey socially but he puts the effort in to be around you. Captor’s never gonna be the most effusive emotionally, but he does make a point to give the occasional genuine compliment as to how he appreciates who you are, and what you do. When you’re having trouble he has a tendency to just sort of materialize in the background to offer his help. Pale flirting is all about trust, both engendering it, and demonstrating it for each other. No matter how oblivious you are, its hard not to notice that his walls are usually so high for others, yet they seem to come down around you.

Despite aforementioned not-fucking-around-the-pricklefrond, its possible he won’t ever use the word moirail for you unless you ask him about it. You’re human, and he doesn’t see the need to regale you with the complexities of troll romance if you’re both happy with the current arrangement. One way or another, though, Vantas runs at the mouth and spills the beans to you, and you have a good long talk about it.

Executor Darkleer: This guy, on the other hand, is a staunch traditionalist, paired with the fact that he ultimately thinks he’s somehow unworthy of love in any form.

Years of social conditioning don’t just fall away because you and your former empress shop for box wine at the same liquor store now. As an expatriate, Zahhak was literally forbidden from contributing to the filial slurry, and was far too isolated to acquire a moirail. The best he had was the occasional frustrated shoosh-pap from Mindfang just to snap him out of his moods for a bit. Now, the old empire may have fallen away, but he’s still to some extent punishing himself. As a result, as soon as he figures out he’s catching pale feelings for a human, he starts avoiding you at all costs. He can’t allow himself to fall into any kind of temptation. The very qualities that attract him to you are the same reason he’s convinced you deserve something better.

Fortunately, there was no way you were friends with Darkleer in the first place if you were the type to let social avoidance turn you off. After a couple of weeks of not hearing from him (and a few confusingly smug texts from Mindfang when you ask her if he’s doing alright and her only response was “Go find out. I’m sure he’ll 8e more than alr8 ;;;;)”), you show up at his hive and bang on the door until he finally lets you in.

If you were hoping for a big confession, you’ll probably be a little disappointed: he’s not the type. But he does let you chastise him for withdrawing like that, finally extracting a promise that he won’t do it again. All the while him thinking that this, too, could be part of his penance. To let the human stay with by your side....but not allow yourself the luxury of what you truly want....why its almost scandalous-

Yup. He’s pale edging himself, and will continue to do so until you finally break down and demand he explain why he’s being so weird. Or until Mindfang loses her patience and tells you herself, if only to get him to stop leaving soliloquies in her DMs. Either way.

Dualscar: Another traditionalist, but he’s never really been lucky enough in love to be that picky about the system he falls under. The last proper, long-lasting quadrant relationship he had was his kismesis with Mindfang, and well.....kind of a funny story how that one went, honestly.

Assuming you’re single, his way forward is pretty easy. He reads up on human romance for 48 hours straight and presumes he knows what the fuck is up. Honestly its not terribly different from moirallegiance in some respects. You’re supposed to uplift your partner, and plenty of sources recommend that your s/o should be your “best friend”. Conversations involving your feelings are a norm, and humans even have the concept of a “fated match”, something pretty integral to Alternian moirallegiance. As for the rest, well, he can lean into some of the redder aspects of his feelings, pull out the old Ampora charm, and leave the rest in Lady Luck’s hands, right?

Right?

Well....for the first few months it works fine. You’ve always been close with Dualscar, felt like you got each other on some level, and to some degree a romantic relationship felt like a natural extension of that. He can be sweet, showers you with gifts, and is good at listening to your problems and letting you bitch without making you feel like you’re burdening him. He’s funny, in a bitchy dad kind of way, and frankly kind of dashing.

But something’s off. You notice he seems to shrink down a little bit when you try to get a bit more physical with him. Not like he dislikes it, necessarily, more like he’s...confused. While you feel closer with him than ever, there’s none of those flowery declarations you find tucked in his journal, dedicated to great loves in his past. Even on your end, you feel like you still just think of him as like.....a best friend, but more so somehow? Being romantic with him as you would be with a human feels...wrong, You reflect each other so well and so closely that its like you’re a piece of each other, and calling him your boyfriend feels like trying to call yourself your own boyfriend.

The truth comes out when you try to break up with him and in a panic he explains himself to you. Running through a long (and somewhat incoherent) crash course on troll romance, with a special focus on moirallegiance. He’s stumbling over his words (unusual when he’s sober), half waiting for your eyes to widen in shock and for you to end things forever.

So imagine his shock when you blink a few times and say “why the hell didn’t you just say so?”

As Peixes would say later, “L-Eave it to an Ampora to mak-E s)(it way mor-E glubbin complicat-Ed t)(an it n-E-Eds to b-E.”

#homestuck #homestuck ancestors #hs ancestors #ancestors #the psiionic #executor darkleer #orphaner dualscar #human moirail #headcanon #long post askjfasdlkjfsa #Anonymous

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 4 years

Note

Hey Ya would you mind if I requested Prompt list #5 number 52 with Alfie Solomons. If you don't mind. I'd also like number 1 and 2 if you can add it in. I was thinking of his secretary who does not have much experience with men and is quite shy. But anything you come up with would be great. Really love your work.

Have you ever kissed anyone before?”

“Can I kiss you?”

I don’t think you’re annoying…I know…I don’t…I really like listening to and hearing what you have to say even if its a lot sometimes..”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ah, Lucy, have a nice lunch?” Alfie greeted his secretary when she came in to deliver some messages.

“Yes, thank you for giving me some extra time, I was meeting with some friends.” Lucy, the shy young woman who had been working for Alfie for a little under a year, gave him a grateful smile.

“That’s nice. Meeting with friends is always nice.” He commented a bit mindlessly as he took the small stack of messages from her. “Weather’s awful, innit?” It was such a rare occurrence that he would initiate small talk with employees. But with Lucy, it was different. He tended to hold a conversation longer than anyone else in the bakery. She didn’t really notice the discrepancies and thought he was just being pleasant. Mind you, it was pleasantness that she didn’t expect from a gang leader. Still, she appreciated it because she would much rather be on his good side.

Alfie did notice how he treated her differently. It wasn’t by mistake. Ollie was gobsmacked when he heard his boss was hiring a woman. Alfie was insistent on not having women in business matters. But Lucy’s employment was a result of a tangled mess of debts. Her father was in deep with Alfie and had nothing else to give and no more time to bide. So, he offered his daughter as the sacrificial lamb.

Alfie took great offense to this and turned down the offer. But the idea was keeping him up at night. The man who was so willing to hand over his daughter to a crime boss would be willing to do anything. Haunted, Alfie forgave the debts and gave Lucy a job. But he had a condition that she would move closer to the bakery, granting her a place of her own away from her father.

That way, Alfie could sleep peacefully.

What he didn’t anticipate was gaining feelings for the young woman who, despite her family life, was a ray of sunshine in the grime of London.

“The sun is out, not a cloud in the sky,” Lucy remarked. “Why is that awful?”

Alfie made a noise of discontent. “The heat, the fucking heat. S’like you’ve got layers upon layers of wool on. It’s bloody torture.” He muttered but of course, he wasn’t finished and continued. “It’s the coal and shit. All the factory smoke, what have you. Clogs up the air makes the heat worse. It just feels awful. Don’t it? Just feels different. Out in Margate, right, it can be hot in the summer, yeah, but it’s nice. Not all that shit in the air, it’s nice. Must be the sea air or somethin’. London summer, can’t fucking stand it.” Alfie looked up and realized Lucy was still standing there with a polite smile on her face. “Sorry, being annoying.” He mumbled apologetically. He didn’t want to subject her to his ranting like he did his men.

“No, I don’t think you’re annoying. I really…well I like listening to what you have to say even if it’s a lot sometimes.” She giggled softly.

He appreciated her honesty. It was a sign that she wasn’t completely terrified of him. “You ever been to Margate?” He asked.

“No, never.”

“Have to take you one day. You’ll see what I mean.” He cleared his throat, trying to cover up the fact that he had proposed something like a little vacation for them. “Did you have a good time with your friends?” Alfie was kicking himself for prolonging the conversation. But he couldn’t shut his mouth, he wanted just another moment with her.

Lucy shrugged, the smile slipping from her face. “It was okay. They’re always on my case about…” She seemed to remember she was with her boss so she stopped. “They can be pests sometimes.” She clarified, hoping that would end the subject.

His brow raised. He couldn’t imagine what anyone would have to pester her about. She was absolutely lovely and he never had a complaint. “’Bout what?”

“Her face slowly began to go red. “I guess…just that I’m not married yet. Or even dating.” She admitted.

“Well, ain’t a fixed time for when you’ve gotta be married.” He replied casually. “In your own time. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of blokes to pick from, all lining up at your door.” He said without trying to sound jealous.

Lucy let out a small, nervous laugh. “Oh no, not at all. I haven’t…” Her hands wrung together.

“Haven’t dated anyone?”

“No, not quite.”

Lucy’s shy manner led Alfie to pry more even if it was a bit rude of him to do so. “Have you ever even kissed anyone before?”

Her eyes dropped to the floor, her cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red as she shook her head.

He realized the position he suddenly found himself in. “Erm, well that’s fine. Nothing to be ashamed ‘bout. Sorry, I’ve been a bit nosy.”

Lucy looked up and blurted out, “Can I kiss you?”

Both of them were left in a state of shock when the words left her mouth. She looked utterly mortified, a hand clapped over her mouth.

“Me?” All this time Alfie thought his affection was just one-sided. Lucy was nice, but he figured she was only being nice because it was her job and perhaps, she was slightly intimidated by him. But now, here was this confession that they had both been pining after each other.

“Oh, Alfie, I-I’m so sorry I didn’t…” She stammered and backed up to go to the door before she embarrassed herself more.

Alfie stood up to stop her. He shut the door, standing very close to her. “D’you mean that?”

Lucy almost had tears of shame streaming down her cheeks. She had ruined such a good thing.

“Be honest.” He prompted.

“I’m sorry. That was so out of line and-”

“Just tell me.” He said in a calm voice so she knew he wasn’t angry.

Lucy bit her lip and nodded. “I’m sorry, I thought that maybe you felt the same way but I-”

Alfie reached up to gently cup her cheek. The touch sent jolts of electricity down her spine. She never noticed how gentle his eyes were when he looked at her. “Not here, yeah? Margate. Make it nice and special.” He said softly before kissing her cheek.

Lucy’s lips were parted in disbelief. “Margate.” She whispered back in agreement.

“This weekend.”

She nodded. “Okay, I’ll be there.”

#ugly-crying-asks #ugly crying asks

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

100 Roseanne Prompts

I usually try to stick to quotes that can work for everyone but some of these were too good to skip. Break at 15 like always. Request a show

1 “Hey, all our lives suck.” — Roseanne

2 “Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em cars or booze.” — Roseanne

3 “Etsy is like a yard sale except online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.” — Darlene

4 “All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.” — Roseanne

5 “Did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?” “Um, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.” — Andrea & Roseanne

6 “You gotta pick your fights in life.” — Roseanne

7 “Okay, he doesn't have to wear pants, but he's gotta wear underwear.” — Dan

8 “It is not my fault that I just happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.” — Roseanne

9 “Why are you picking on me? What, did I take the last doughnut, or something?” — Darlene

10 [Person B is embarrassed after walking in on Person C nursing her baby] “Oh, now, NAME. It's not like you've never seen breasts before.” “NAME’s my friend. As far as I'm concerned, she has no breasts... It works for me, okay?” — Roseanne & Dan

11 “The car has heated seats? Thank God, I thought I was going through the change.” — Roseanne

12 [stoned and laying the bathtub] “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” — Jackie

13 “In this house, I'm in charge and father knows squat.” — Roseanne

14 “What's up? I smell fear. I love that smell! But what's up?” — Roseanne

15 “Do you have anything sharp I can stick in my eye?” — Dan

16 “You are really, really gettin' on my nerves today, man! I mean more than usual!” — Dan

17 “Well, you think you can stop me from seeing NAME, huh?” “I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow.” — Mark & Dan

18 “You were always trying to push us apart. You were always putting me down!” — Mark Healey

19 “My marriage is not based on me listening!” — Roseanne

20 “Why don't you just kiss my butt?” “Well, haul it on over here, Jumbo!” — Becky & Darlene

21 “You are just evil!” — Jackie

22 “Oh good, go for the guilt. You better take a looong, hard look at yourself, NAME, 'cause if you are this obsessed with my life, there is obviously something missing from yours.” “Just figure that out?” — Jackie & Roseanne

23 “I thought you were just gonna go over there and scare him/her?” “Well, it started out that way.” — Roseanne & Dan

24 “Being your own boss isn't that great of a deal. Last week I sexually harassed myself.” — Dan

25 “Hell, even I don't hate her that much.” — Dan

26 “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.” “Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.” — Becky & Roseanne

27 “Please, NAME, I don't want you to help me, I just want you to leave me alone ... Please.” — Darlene

28 “Don’t toy with me, NAME.” — Roseanne

29 “We, have had a fight, and we're not speaking to each other.” “Oh, well, what was the fight about? Maybe I can take a side.” — Roseanne & Jackie

30 “He/She wanted to do something; I didn't feel like it.” “Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?” “Nothing.” “That's what you did last weekend!” “Yeah, well I'm not finished.” — Darlene & Roseanne

31 “No, NAME always was the bad influence.” — Roseanne

32 “Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.” — Roseanne

33 “Yeah, but you know what they say, NAME. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.” — Roseanne

34 “You're acting like a crazed psychopath.” [snorts] “Well the voices in my head disagree.” — Dan & Roseanne

35 [on getting married] “I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.” “No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing you ever did, but we're talking about me now!” — Dan & Roseanne

36 [Person A and Person B bury the hatchet] “So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest YEAR.” “Oh what a time we had!” — Roseanne & Darlene

37 “You can't tell NAME what to do. She's a big girl!” [snarls] “Compared to who?” — David & Roseanne

38 “What kind of list is he/she making? Not that it's any of my business.” “A hit list.” — Beverly & Dan

39 [feeling for pulse] “I think he’s/she's dead.” [steps back] “Check again.” “I know how to count to zero.” — Roseanne & Dan

40 “What was the second thing you noticed about me?” — Roseanne

41 “Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, NAME; there were plenty of guys/girls standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.” — Dan

42 “You are rotten rotten kids, and I can't even believe I'm related to you two!” — Jackie Harris

43 “You'll just do something stupid that you're going to regret later.” — Roseanne

44 “I'm your husband/wife. That's my right.” — Dan

45 [finds present] “You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.” “Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.” [pulls something ugly from the box] “Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.” — Jackie & Roseanne

46 “Oh, this is going to be soooo great!” — Darlene

47 “What's the catch?” “No catch, can't we do something nice?” “I don't know, you never have.” — Roseanne & Becky

48 “Oh my God. You're kidding me!” — Roseanne

49 “Save your breath, NAME, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.” “Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.” — Fred & Roseanne

50 “I'm way more powerful than any law!” — Roseanne

51 “Well NAME, I guess you're just not the man/woman I thought you were ... and I wasn't too happy with that one!” — Roseanne

52 “We should've known, NAME, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.” — Becky

53 [about Person b and person c’s sex life] “You're kidding? You guys have a night?” “Yes, we have a night. It's not only Wednesday, but it's always Wednesday.” You have a time too?” “Yeah. Twenty minutes, or until he gets a cramp.” “Well, you should make him wait half-an-hour after he eats.” — Jackie & Roseanne

54 “Oh, c'mon. Just because you guys aren't having "Wednesday", doesn't mean he’s/she's out ... "Wednesday-ing" somebody else.” — Jackie

55 “What's the matter with you, boy/girl? Can't keep your pants on?” — Dan

56 “Damn women! Who the hell do they think they are!” “We are sugar and spice, and everything nice. So bite me!” — Dan & Roseanne

57 “Have you met NAME?” — Roseanne

58 “Gee, I'd love to NAME, but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.” — Darlene

59 “Remember one thing, NAME, I'm your worst nightmare!” — Jackie

60 “You always say how you want better things for us.” “Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.” — Becky & Roseanne

61 “You are a controlling bitch!” — Dan

62 “Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -“ “What? Say it.” “Nothin'.” “Well that makes two of us.“ — Dan & Roseanne

63 “Ooohhh, we all know what this is about, don't we? You're just jealous because I've made something of myself.” “Yeah, an ass ... And where do you get that hoity-toity accent anyway? You're from PLACE!” — Ronnie & Roseanne

64 “I can't believe that I wasted TIME hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there's a very good reason to hate you. You're a bitch!” [gasps] “I'm a bitch? Hah! I bow to the queen of all bitches.” — Roseanne & Ronnie

65 “Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember ... I can tell when you're lying.” “It was an accident ... could you tell?” — Roseanne & DJ

66 “I could go for something to eat.” “Yeah? Well, then go.” [motions toward the door] — Arnie & Roseanne

67 “You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral ... oh my God ...” “We know too much, we know too much.” — Dan & Fred

68 “NAME, where'd you get those jelly beans?” “From the bin at store.” “NAME, I told you, you gotta finish eating them while you're in the store, 'else it's stealing!” — Roseanne & DJ

69 “I never thought I would say this ... I'm too depressed to drink.” — Dan

70 “Let's just cut the crap, okay. You're talking to NAME’s mother here, the mother of all mothers and she is majorly mad.” — Roseanne

71 “NAME, NAME, NAME. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.” — Roseanne

72 “This is for the pain.” “Owwww. Make it a double.” — Nurse & Jackie

73 “I hate to see you laying here in pain like this.” “Well actually, ever since he/she gave me that shot, I'm feelin' kinda neat.” — Gary & Jackie

74 “I want someone who will love me and support me no matter what. Just like NAME does for you.” “Are you insane! You know how many years I had to put into NAME? You think he/she came out of a box like that!” — Jackie & Roseanne

75 “What do you think your punishment oughta be?” “What do you mean?” “NAME told me everything.” “That little rat.” “But I told him/her I wasn't going to do anything until I get your side of the story.” “Well first we, wait a minute, uh, uh --“ “You're getting good.” — Roseanne & Becky

76 “I worked it out with NAME, he’s/she's gonna stay here and babysit and I'm gonna go out.” “Why would he/she do that?” “I have dirt on him/her. “ “What kind of dirt?” “Now if I told you, I'd have to stay home.” [person a leaves] — Darlene & Roseanne

77 [Person A is acting like a hunchback] “I brought the baggage master, where do you wish me to put it?” “Just put it anywhere Igor.” “Maybe later you and me.” “We'll see.” You're so kind.” [ kisses hand] — Dan & Roseanne

78 [about child’s behavior] “NAME you did stuff like that when you were NAME’s age right?” “No, the boy's odd.” — Roseanne & Dan

79 [offering to the family] “Hey, I got one more pancake.” “I want French toast!” “Well, you better move to Europe.” — Roseanne & DJ

80 [Person A, angry, grabs keys and leaves the house] “Oh God. This is really bad.” “Yeah, I know.” “Oh no. I mean, this is really bad. I'm parked behind him/her.” — Jackie & Dan

81 “Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put him/her through that again, are we?” — Dan

82 [comes in through the front door] “NAME, you all ready to go?” [whining] “I don't wa-haant to-o-o-o! I feel like a used piece of gum that somebody stuck under the table, just waiting for the excitement of drying up and hitting the floor.” — Jackie & Roseanne

83 “You HAVE to take this job ... you're the only one that applied!” — Marsha

84 [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind PERSON B] “Remember me, NAME?” [look of terror] “Not Mrs. Butterworth ... please not Mrs. Butterworth.” “Remember how your brother/sister NAME told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!” [PERSON B screams] — Roseanne & Jackie

85 “I hope I see you later, I mean, a lot later.” — Roseanne

86 [after the birth] “I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?” “No more than usual.” — Roseanne & Dan

87 [about kid dressed as a lawyer] “That's the scariest costume all night.” — Roseanne

88 [going through the candy bowl] “This is all sugar in here.” “Not true, there're chemicals too.” — David & Roseanne

89 “You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.” [gets fruit from the kitchen] “What the hell is that?” “Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.” “That's unsanitary.” — David, Roseanne & Dan

90 “Did you see the Great Pumpkin last night?” “No, NAME wore pajamas.” — Jackie & Roseanne

91 [discussing Person C] “She's rude and selfish.” “I know, but, inside she's just a ... scared little girl.” Yeah, and I know what's scaring her, the raging bitch on the outside.” — Dan & Roseanne

92 “I'll be back later to give you your present.” “Why can't I just open it now?” “I haven't bought it yet.” — Jackie & Roseanne

93 “And don't you ever feed my dog!” “If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog!” — Roseanne

94 “I really don't think it's wise for anyone in this family to be giving away livers.” — Beverly

95 “Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.” “I am ...” “Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.” “I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?” “Yes you do, NAME, because that's the most important word.” “I'm not taking any crap from anyone.” “That was good but are you serving tea, NAME? Get mad and say it.” [louder] “I'm not taking any crap from anyone!” “Good, now personalize it, make it your own.” [louder] “I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!” — Roseanne & Doris

96 “Hey, where's my 'My other mug is a shot glass' mug?” — Roseanne

97 “Why are you gettin' so mad at me?” “Because you are making me defend NAME.” — Becky & Roseanne

98 “I am not sexist. I'm much too frightened of women to be sexist.” — David

99 “Get me a beer.” “Get it yourself, slob!” — Mark & Darlene

100 “I can't believe you're jealous over this.” “Why not? It's very typical of me.”

#roseanne quotes #roseanne prompts #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #roseanne conner #dan conner #darlene conner #dj conner #becky conner #mark healy #david healy #jackie harris #beverly harris #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Ava & James

Ava: [some cute non-scary halloween decor when she's out in town] Ava: these could work for Mattie's party? [whatever shop they are in] Ava: wouldn't make any of the guests 💩 themselves, beyond what is standard James: you don't have to worry about decorating Ava: just if you needed extra stuff 😊 Ava: you managed to book someone? James: not yet but I wasn't dissuaded by the busy tone when I had to search for your lost bracelet if you recall Ava: you're very dedicated Ava: and resourceful Ava: I just happen to be both myself too James: I have happened to notice that about you James: alongside many other desirable traits Ava: how many are we talking? 😄 James: countless, of course James: you know numbers aren't my forte Ava: words are prettier Ava: especially yours Ava: asking for help isn't either, is all I'm trying to say Ava: I wouldn't go so far as to call it undesirable but worrisome, sometimes James: there isn't anything for you to worry about, that's all I'm saying James: I'll have all the help I could possibly want, or pay for, as soon as I manage to procure it Ava: Okay Ava: but you can't tell me not to worry about you, or I'll have to refuse and I don't like to refuse you James: I wouldn't dream of telling you what you can or can't do James: I may hold the pen but the way it moves across the page is entirely down to you Ava: then I'd like to help you Ava: even if you just give me the list of party planners and I try to call them instead of you adding that to your never-ending to-do list James: Ava Ava: It's not a problem Ava: I'm doing less than nothing right now James: refusing you isn't on my to-do list or something I take any pleasure in whatsoever myself but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be a problem James: right now you may have less than nothing scheduled but it could become a big ask if you're the point of contact for one of these over the top party planners James: I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy Ava: So what you're saying is, a job half done is no help at all, I see that Ava: over the top party planner could describe half the people I know, I can handle that James: it isn't a question of if you can, but rather why you should have to Ava: I don't have to, obviously Ava: the question should be why wouldn't I want to make your life even a fraction easier James: how often you already do isn't remotely in question either though Ava: I'm not keeping score, I can assure you Ava: it's no hardship for me, like I said Ava: it's worse to see you struggle, definitely James: the only assurance I have in such a case being that I would lose, unless we were playing scrabble potentially James: it simply isn't fair of me to ask you & so, I will not Ava: Okay, then I'll ask you if you'll be mad at me if I help you regardless James: I don't think I'm even hypothetically capable of being mad at you for an act of kindness Ava: I'm not going to step on your toes unnecessarily, at least I hope I'm not that type Ava: but if say no more about it works for both of us, then I can work with that James: I hope I haven't given you the impression that's what I think Ava: not at all Ava: but I live in equal hope that you don't think I'm that extra I'd takeover a baby's birthday for my own decorating whims James: It's just that it's the first time that I've had to take over doing anything like this James: I hoped, should I dare to, that I'd be better at it Ava: There's a reason you can hire people to do it for you, and I'm sure Chloe had plenty of help, even if her vision had to be followed to the letter Ava: it's a lot of work for one person, never mind the day to day stuff that doesn't just disappear in the meantime James: you're right, which for the record, is the type you are Ava: I'll take right for you any day James: well, I'll give you that any day, without any hint of a struggle Ava: sounds good to me 😋 Ava: what were you doing, before I so rudely waylaid you? James: discussing figures which my father refuses to admit he cannot make sense of, therefore you're immediately forgiven Ava: can't admit numbers aren't his speciality either Ava: I won't even pretend I'm going to just leave you to it then, as that sounds equal parts dull and frustrating James: I'm aware that now isn't the time to comment on his stubbornness since my own won't let you help me, but yes Ava: I'm not about to compare you to your father, especially when I find it equally as hard and baffling a concept to be mad at you when you're just being you James: it isn't a comparison that would stand for very long, hard & baffling as he finds that to accept Ava: there's a lot of problems with the heir and a spare method, they don't tell you that James: or indeed what to do when your first born & favourite child is female in spite of your old fashioned ideals James: now there's a fitting comparison you'll undeniably make upon seeing them in a room together, as everyone does Ava: Who's your mum's favourite? Ava: and I look forward to judging a family that isn't my own for once James: Teddy, of course Ava: I could have guessed that James: I'm surprised you didn't Ava: I'll tell him he has mummy's boy energy to his face, no need to waste a perfectly good burn James: he does & you should Ava: 😏 that I can add to my to-do list no problem Ava: you're my favourite, you know James: see if you can also get him to come to the party for a while, assuming there is one James: you'll still be my favourite even if you can't Ava: Of course he'll come Ava: he's her uncle, and where else does he have to be James: as far as he's concerned anywhere else is preferable because he's her uncle James: & a teenager Ava: I'll talk him 'round Ava: he's 17, not 12 Ava: older than you were when you had Jay, he can manage James: he's managed not to babysit her once since she was born, but I have faith in you, darling Ava: I wish I was totally surprised Ava: he might be more receptive now Ava: you know, without Chloe also around James: if she decides to make an appearance he won't be the only one less than thrilled to see her Ava: Do you think she will? James: I think it's unlikely but that doesn't make it a definite no however much I would like it to be James: there's a part of me expecting to see her around every corner at any given moment of the day James: & it's not just any day so Ava: Yeah Ava: it seems hard to believe she'd miss her daughter's first birthday but then a lot of her actions and reasonings are so Ava: if she comes, you'll be fine, she's been at every other event, in lots of ways it's less unknown than if she doesn't James: fine might be an overstatement of how I'll be but that can stay between us Ava: It can Ava: even if it ends up that I can't be there Ava: I'll still only be a call away James: I refuse to write an ending like that Ava: I want to be there, but I doubt she'll accept that if she does make an appearance James: the threat of her appearance doesn't dictate the guestlist, gone are the days when she controls what I or the girls do James: we all want you to be there Ava: You're right Ava: not purely agreeing for my own benefit Ava: but it isn't the time to start reverting back to old ways, no need to give a mile to her inch Ava: and it's all hypothetical as yet, and the need for a party planner isn't so I'll focus James: there are plenty of family members I would hypothetically uninvite regardless of whether or not she chooses to RSVP, purely for my own benefit James: maybe when it's my birthday Ava: you can be as exclusive as you like then Ava: and you can't even be hypothetically mad when I organize it all for you James: I promise to be genuinely grateful Ava: you don't need to be, it's your birthday Ava: you deserve to be thoroughly spoilt James: we should go away somewhere, to recover from the lingering stress of Christmas and the new year at the very least Ava: and all the awful gotta be on the slopes at Christmas crowd will be gone by then too Ava: can we? 😃 James: yes Ava: I love you James: I love you too Ava: [do you wanna post this bit and then I can find some socials or something to show she's organizing shit 'cos obviously we're not gonna get a party planner now] James: [that's a good idea boo]

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guillotinedangel · 5 years

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Day 01. RESET

Based on the January 2019 prompt list published by @downwithwritersblock

The future is now.

Author: @blackpaladintshirogane

Ship: Klance

Characters: Keith, Lance, Acxa, Zethrid, Ezor.

Warning: S8 spoilers, offensive language.

Summary: During a BOM benefic delivery, Keith encounters a rebel resistance Galra group that attacks him an puts his life in jeopardy. Fearing he may die anytime even thought the war is over, he flies to Altea to find Lance and confess his feelings.

Song:

"Keith, do you copy?"

Acxa's voice sounded, worried, on the other side of the comms. She had been trying for a while now to reach her captain, but there was no sign of him since he had gone down to the planet they were currently in, looking for signs of life they could help.

Now that the war was over, the Blade of Marmora had been renewed. They were still incredible skilled warriors but now their duties had been changed to deliver help to the places in the Universe that had been affected by the battles and the destruction. They usually did not have any trouble but today it had been different and Keith, who always took the responsibility of patrolling the area before landing, was not answering his team's call.

"Maybe we should go down ourselves, just in case" Ezor suggested, also worried by the lack of answer.

"Give the little one a bit more time. He's tough" Zethrid added.

"This is weird"

Acxa worked on the ship's panel of control, trying to look for anything she could possibly do, but she got jack.

Meanwhile, on the ground , Keith was running for his life.

Panting, with his lungs already aching every time he gasped for air, the boy was trying to escape his persecutors, who he could hear, yelling to each other, only a few steps behind him.

The attack had taken him by surprise, but, still, he was punishing himself for being so careless. If he hadn't been agile enough, his blood would be painting a beautiful canvas on the rocky landscape of the planet.

It had been Garla, nonetheless, the ones who had tried to kill him. Maybe that was the reason why he was running and not fighting back: the shock he had upon seeing the purple skinned soldiers, referring to him as paladin of Voltron, even though it had been years since the lions had abandoned them.

"Acxa!! Ezor!! Zethrid!! Somebody!? Do you copy me!?" he shouted over the comms between gasps, but the plain and cold static answered him.

Tired already, desperately trying to reach his team for help, Keith did not see the rift splitting the ground in two at his feet and he fell right on it, with a cry of pain, hitting his ribs on the ledge and spraining his right ankle on the deep hole. Soon enough, he was able to feel the warm blood running, tickling his skin under his tight suit.

He struggled to get himself out, not caring about injuring himself even more, but in vain. The rift was shallow but too narrow, so he was trapped on it. Little was worth all his screaming and cursing, and then a shadow hovered over him and the click of a gun and an evil laugh reached his ears.

"Look at you. The mighty Red Paladin, trapped like a rat in a hole on the ground. Pathetic"

"Fuck you" Keith growled , angryly, which earned him a kick on the head that made him spit blood out of his mouth.

"Shut it, and try not to keep spilling blood over my new skin trophy. Now. You're gonna be a good boy, and tell us where the rest of your team is"

"What are you even barking about? Haven't you heard the war is over?"

Keith could almost hear how the big warrior gritted his sharp teeth.

"We know, but you worms are still alive. That's insulting to us, to the memory of our great Emperor Zarkon. You destroyed it all!! We want our revenge!!"

"Then get me out of here and I'll show you the blade Zarkon tasted!!"

His words had the effect required and the soldier grabbed Keith by his neck and raised him in the air and out of the rift like a flower out of its soil, to throw him on the ground under his feet with anger. The boy twisted in pain to the impact. He probably had a few ribs broken.

"I'll break every single bone in your tiny body"

"Fuck you" Keith cursed again at him, but before the soldier could even point his gun at him, he was brought down alongside his companions by three figures that appeared out of nowhere.

"Keith!!" Acxa shouted, upon seeing her captain on the floor, the blood starting to shine through the dark fabric of the suit.

The three warriors ran to help him.

"The blade Zarkon tasted?? Do you have a death wish? " Zethrid faced him while Acxa and Ezor inspectioned his wounds.

"Stupid human" Acxa mumbled between her teeth, "It wasn't even you who finished Zarkon. It was Lotor"

"Who cares. I had to win some time and it worked, right? " Keith whispered, feeling how the exhaustion was starting to catch up to his muscles and brain.

"They were going to kill you!"

"No. I can't... I can't die. I have to do something first"

"Yeah? Like what?"

____________________________________________

The day had dawned sunny and warm, and Lance was heading for the orchard to take care of his crops, with one of the altean kids that lived alongside him and other alien families on the farm he had retired to after the war was over, seeking peace of mind and relaxation after all the stress and fear that it had brought upon them. What he did not expect to receive were the news of the arrival of a stranger warrior out of the mouth of another of the children that were running around, and even less it being Keith in the flesh.

"Wow, that mullet gets worse with the years" Lance jokingly said as soon as his former partner was close enough to hear him.

Keith laughed to his words, but he merely managed to scoff. His broken ribs pained him too much to actually burst a laughter and, even though he tried to hide it, he was limping. Also, Lance knew him all too well.

"Are you okay?" the Cuban asked, with a worried look on his blue eyes.

"Just a mission that went wrong. Nothing to worry about"

Lance raised an eyebrow.

"A mission? I thought the Blade was doing humanitarian work now?"

"Um, yeah we do..." Keith wondered his eyes away from Lance's, "But I... Found myself with some old glories that recognized me. And they weren't nice to me"

"Okay, you're coming with me now. You need to lay down"

Keith half smiled upon seeing Lance's face, frowning with a troubled look. He would have tried to argue with him over it, but he knew there would be no way to make him desist, so he followed his friend to his home, were Lance made him lay on a very comfortable couch while he made some hot coffee.

"There you go" he said, offering him a cup, "Now would you tell me why you're here? Do you need a place to heal your wounds? You can stay if you want"

The offering took Keith by surprise. He hadn't even thought about that possibility.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah! We have plenty of room here and I could use..." Lance stopped himself before saying what was roaming his mind and blushed to the very thought of even telling Keith what he actually wanted to say, "You'd be welcome"

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"The sentence you didn't finish" Keith teased him, accommodating himself on the couch.

"Stay on your back" Lance ordered him in a soft voice, avoiding the question at the same time.

"I'll stay if you make me"

"Wha... What?"

Lance's face lighted up like a lighthouse and Keith smiled softly at him.

"I came here for a reason, Lance. I... I almost died in this mission--"

"You what!?"

"Let me finish! Dammit! Those soldiers almost killed me and the thing is... I could not stop thinking about... About how much I regretted not visiting you more often. Not... Talking to you since months ago. Not being by your side"

"What do you mean with all that, Keith?"

"Fuck! Lance!" Keith snapped, making a pinch of pain flood his chest on the process, "I'm not good with this feelings shit..."

The Cuban boy smiled.

"You mean to tell me you missed me, mullet?" Lance asked with a cheeky grin.

"Yes but, not only that"

Keith's cheeks started to dye red as he spoke. He wanted to shout it at Lance, but what if his friend did not feel the same?

Suddenly Lance raised from his seat and approached him, kneeling by his side, on the floor.

"What else then?" he asked with shiny eyes, placing his hand on Keith's knee. His altean marks seemed to flash for a second.

"I... I was scared, Lance. I thought I'd die and I'd never see you again. I'd never get to tell you that... Fuck... That I love you, dammit. That's it, I said it, now you can reject me or hate me if you want"

Keith stared into the black liquid that filled his mug, trying to ignore the feeling of crying that was crowling its way up his chest. He was regretting his words right now. Lance was still probably mourning Allura. He could see it on his eyes every year when they met before her statue to remember her. There was still love shinning in them.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have--"

But his words died on his throat as Lance leaned forward and pressed his lips against his', catching him by surprise.

"I love you too" the boy answered, breaking the kiss after a few seconds.

Warm tears streamed down Keith's cheeks, releasing all the pressure he had been feeling inside. Lance ran quick to hug him.

"Careful" Keith said between sobs, "My ribs"

"Sorry" Lance tried to pull back, but Keith wrapped him with one arm and pulled him back to his chest.

"I don't care about the pain. I just need you close now"

They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes until Lance broke the silence.

"You think it's too late to join the Blade?"

"What?"

"Well this calm life... Is driving me nuts. I wanna go back up there. With you"

Keith smiled wide and planted a quick kiss on Lance's lips.

"I guess I can find a suit for my sharpshooter"

–Chimera.

#voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #lance mcclain #voltron imagines #lance #keith kogane #keith #voltron fic #vld keith #vld lance #klance #keith x lance #writing prompt #2019 #january #i tried to fix that awful ending in the process #vld s8 spoilers #starset

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 5 years

Text

Top 5 least favorite zoophobia character designs

-----------------------------------

Welp, got the positive list out of the way. Now yet me give you the list inevitably more people will like because everyone apparently likes it when I'm negative. Go figure. Vivziepop has a whole arsenal of character designs, and here are some of my least favourites. Same ground rules for my other list apply here. And first, some dishonorable mentions.

DM 1: Jack and Damian

First things first, I don't hate the designs of the main cast. Yeah, they're simple compared to other designs in zoophobia, but, as I've said before, I like Vivz's more simple designs. But out of all the main cast, I disliked these designs the most for one reason. At least everyone else looked like their respective animal. Spam looks like a fox, Vanex looks like a cat, Kayla looks like a kangaroo, and Zill, despite the crazy colour scheme, looks like an unidentifiable creature. These guys? Damian is supposed to be this demonic jackal, but, if you look up jackal in Google Images, you'll notice that he doesn't really look like one. He looks more like some kind of wolf or fox. I don't mind the ears (hell, the horn-like, long ass ears could be his signature look ), or the eyes (he IS a demon ) but, fun fact, jackals have black ears, a black tail, and a distinct black patch of fur on their backs. Some liberties can be taken with colours, I suppose (I mean, we have a freaking purple cat in our midst, you think I'm drawing the line at the canines? ), but perhaps parts of his fur could be made darker in order to get him to resemble a jackal. Jack is a wolf/jackal hybrid, yet he looks more like a domestic dog or a rabbit. It's mainly his ears that cause the problems. Maybe give him more wolfish ears. Seriously vivz, what wolf or jackal looks like that?

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For this next entry, I shall perform my best Nicholas Cage impression. *ahem*

DM 2 : Most of the Party Dawgs

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

*cough * Anyways, now that I've finished my hyperbolic reaction to the party dawgs, let me single some out. Koko, Mint, and Raven. Koko (aka the purple one with purple clothes) literally looks like a clone of Mint (the green one). The only differences between the two are colours, hair being parted on opposite sides, and slight clothing difference. And let's be honest, Raven literally looks like another Jayjay. But hey, at least their colours don't make my eyes bleed.

Now onto the list proper.

--------------------------------------------------

5. Tom

Look, to anyone on this site who wants to know what I think of Tom, he's just meh. There's nothing really that special about him. Oh, you're a lonely demon? It's not like we have someone in the main cast like that already. Oh, you can be something of a charmer and attract a lot of ladies? Hi Zill! And Tom's design isn't helping his case. He looks like a recoloured Bozzwick or a genderbent Ink. There's nothing really creepy or strange about his appearance. You could argue that his eyes are strange, but plenty of other characters have strange eyes, and Tom's eyes aren't even the strangest. He doesn't look demon-y. He looks like another edgy teen. And yeah, I might be a hypocrite here because I love Damian's male human design, but in his case it's kind of funny. I mean, it's just amusing to me that someone like Dame (who is also the anti christ ) looks like a hot topic addict. It's just so weirdly fitting it's hilarious. Same can't really be said for Tom though. ....

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4. Styx, Tentadora, and Jillian.

Three way tie! Whooo! Okay, but in all seriousness, I put these guys here because they all suffer the same problems. They need some adjustments to their designs and a change in colour pallets. Go back to ch 3 of zoophobia, and look at how much these guys seem out of place in hell. These three characters become a major distraction as your eye is immediately drawn to them instead of whatever more important scene is going on. Give them a colour pallet that helps them blend in a little more. Jillian, I feel, since the poorer parts of Hell are have a more Western feel, should have a more Western influence since that's where she came from. Maybe give her boots or a bandana. around her neck. Styx needs the most change since he looks like a recoloured Damian. Take the ears and tail away. Perhaps give him a more Victorian influence while keeping Tenta's western influence to represent their clashing personalities. Maybe give Tenta a hat or apron to make her look more like a member of Hell's staff.

3. Elijah

Look, I know a lot of people love his design, but Eli's design bugs me on a couple levels. Why? Well, look at some of the other snake characters that take on a bi-pedal stance, such as Gustav, Quinton, the Max brothers, and Castello. You might notice something. ...slightly different autonomy wise. Look, I appreciate that Vivz is making some of her characters look vastly different than others, but in this circumstance. ...why? Why does Eli get to have a more snakey influence? Shouldn't he resemble Gustav since their both snakes? Why does Eli get to have a snake head, but none of the other snakes do? I know, Dollcreep came up with Eli's original design, but Dollcreep came up with Gustav's original design too. There, we had the same problem with heads we do here, so yeah, this reflects on Dollcreep as well for inconsistency. Besides, Vivz could've fixed this problem while redesigning Elijah. As for the colour pallet, while yes, pink and white are overused in Vivz's characters, I'd argue it makes sense here with Eli being albino. However, I'd make the colours on his face and in his hair lighter. Albinos can't really keep pigments in their skin and hair, so it'd be impossible for Eli to be as... covered in pink as he is. Unless he, for some reason, constantly dies his hair and paints squares on his face. That would actually be pretty funny.

Damian : Eli, you've been in the bathroom for 2 hours, what are you doing?

Eli: Putting pink squares all over my body. As normal people do.

Damian : But...why tho?

Eli: Aesthetic.

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2. Jayjay

AAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EYE-- yeah, I'm not doing that joke again.

Look, I liked Jay in the Die Young video. Her colours weren't as saturated and they worked well together. Everywhere else? Not only do her colours clash terribly against each other, with a few exceptions, her colour pallet is always so bright it's actually painful to look at for more than two seconds. Her design in Die Young was just fine. It communicated exactly what it needed to about Jayjay. Not to mention it used contrasting colours in a way that was nicer to look at. Lesson here kids? Jay doesn't need a loud design. She needs and effective design.

Also, any Dollcreep fans who try to come out of the woodwork to say shit along the lines of "Dollcreep did it sooooo much better "

....no he didn't. Get off my front porch, you wannabe edgelords. I'm the non straight edge Lord of social ineptitude here!

And number one goes to......

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1. Whitney

.....you know, if I didn't already use the Nick Cage joke already, I'd be hamming the shit out of it rn.

Look, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this dude on the list, since unlike the others, I dunno if vivz is still using him, and I didn't want to go after a character she may have abandoned, BUT JESUS ALMIGHTY.

This design actually hurts my head when I look at it. Take everything I said about Jayjay and stick it here, except times 100! The colours are far too bright, and clash horribly. ..to quote my buddy, @imviotrash when they first saw him, "What even is Whitney? "

I'll leave so I don't need to look at this much longer, but as usual, tell me what you think!

I apologize for wasting your time.

-ATOUN

Ps. Let me know your favorite or least favorite zp designs! I'd love to see what others think!

#zoophobia

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