Theodore: Potter is found swimming at the Black Lake and Draco is coming down to the Dungeon now. He’s going to talk about that for the whole week. What do we do?
Pansy: Great question, Theo. The choice is obvious. Kill the annoying twink
Blaise: Agreed
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imagine this: you push out a baby. it fucking hurts. you’re ripped to shreds. exhausted. you carried it in you for the best part of a year. it’s late august, so you’ve been your most pregnant during the hottest season. your ankles have doubled in size. the food at the hospital sucks. you had to take time off of your thriving professional quidditch career for this shit.
and then...after all that...your whackass husband insists on naming the baby albus severus, two of the most objectively ugly names of all time, and belonging to the man who raised him like a lamb for slaughter and the man who stalked his mother even after her death. and he ALREADY GOT TO NAME THE FIRST BABY. and now there will be no babies named after your beloved brother who passed away during the war.
you’re telling me you’d stay with this guy?! i think the fuck not!
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Pansy? Is that you?
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I suddenly have the urge to write an incredibly ridiculous human AU where Aziraphale and Crowley are both drag kings called Southern Pansy and Flash Bastard respectively. I literally cannot do this I have several WIPs already but the idea is possessing me for no good reason.
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Pansy by Fabergé, 1900. Rock crystal, gold, enamel, nephrite, brilliant diamond. Royal Collection.
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blocking u so u can try to release urself from ur negativity darling but ... 1. when have i tried to seem 'hot and cool' 2. where have i indicated id care if U internet stranger thought i was ugly (the face tag is Literally face made for radio) and 3. your big Slam was i have. pimples? that i have a face that humans have? you gonna tell me i have body hair next? pores? you couldve rlly done smth with this anon but you went for tiktok beauty standards and it all came crashing down pumpkin im sorry :(
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There should be an AU out there where Ron is a professional Wizards Chess player. Like full blown Queens Gambit. I feel like he could totally fit the role of that.
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some freckled sibling pairs thrifting together for rapunzel’s birthday <3 they’re gushing about their partners lol
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Fem!Bilbo (bilba, Bella, Belle blue bell belladonna whatever the name is) is my sworn enemy, fuck off you heteronormative straightwashing piece of garbage
Fem!thorin however is my gal, she is my sweet lady wife my Queen under the mountain, my darling brooding strong queen who shall lead me to the Glory of battle I love her so much
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I know it’s kinda dumb, but I really like the idea that all dogs go to Maldraxxus. I know it’s not real, but what the fuck. It’s not like there’s any proof of what’s over there anyway. And I like the idea that the Queen Floof is hanging out with Grandmaster Vole or his equivalent, borking at the arena contestants and being absolutely as loud as Vole is as she sits next to him, little glowing red eyes in a sea of fluff.
And everyone will love her because she has the patience and determination to wear down their defenses that are on a whole other level. She will wear them down like she did Jessie, like she did my mom.
All shall hail and love the Queen Floof, Borky Terror of the Afterlife.
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MISC. MASTERLIST
LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
Years, Months, Days, Hours, Minutes, Seconds
Domesticity
Sara & Lance's (And Oliver Queen)
Thalassophobia
Cherries
To Be Time Itself
THE OWL HOUSE
So What
HARRY POTTER
Hermione & The Three Sisters
Muggle Experience
See You At 7, Maybe 11?
Hermione Granger And The Prophecy Of Girls
Jealousy
Time Turner
ARROW
Everyone Against Talia
Frosty The Snowman
Christmas Lights
Playing Hero
LITTLE GOODY TWO SHOES
Take. (18+)
Unholy (1/13)
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giggling about the fact that, in year 8, our music teacher had us learn and study 'killer queen' by queen.
It's only dawned on me recently: that song is about an escort.
Our teacher had a class of 13 year olds sing a song about an expecive hooker at the school showcase.
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I don't talk much about her but I am a little bit in love with Pansy Parkinson 💖💖💖
I just wanna ge her bff
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