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neptuneiris · 11 months

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cardigan (3/3)

I knew you, leavin' like a father, running like water

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 8.8k

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After forcing yourself to forget about Aemond, start having every intention of having fun with your friends no matter what and get a few drinks… you did it.

You managed to have fun and have a really good time with your real friends.

Even though you got your heart broken, you felt really bad and had to endure that ugly sharp pain in your chest along with all that sadness, pain, anger and disappointment…. you drank and forgot about everything to focus on the moment.

You even met new people, all friends of Ryan's.

The next day, in Sara's room at the dorm, you didn't even remember their names or almost half of the things that happened at the party.

Until she reminded you herself and showed you videos of everyone together with those people dancing and having a good time.

Then, remembering what had happened before you decided to have fun, you felt that urge to cry again.

Fortunately Sara didn't ask you about him, it was as if she had forgotten about him and you were thankful for that since you didn't have to talk to her about anything.

However, after Sara does you the favor of taking you home, even though the place doesn't really feel like that anymore, nervous, cautious and not really having the energy and courage to face him, you still open the door of the apartment and enter.

But you get the big surprise that he's not even here.

Incredulous, you think to yourself that he must have stayed with his girlfriend again. And you quickly attend to Vhagar and yourself, wanting to occupy your mind so that you don't seriously cry at that moment.

Did he really completely forgot my birthday?

You didn't even need to know, the answer to the question was pretty clear when you got to the apartment since he didn't show up for the rest of the day either.

And you didn't know if you felt grateful for it since you didn't want to see him or it made you feel worse about the fact that he really had completely forgotten you and your special day.

So the best you could do at that moment, was to take a bath, eat a little and then look for a job again around your area.

You want to keep your mind busy, you don't want to think about him, so you don't rest and you don't take your eyes off your phone until you find a job.

Until you finally find a job at a flower shop near the university as the store's receptionist and where the working hours fit your schedule perfectly. They don't ask for experience either.

That day, even though your head hurts and you still haven't recovered one hundred percent from the previous party, you take pills, get some rest and head to the flower shop.

And the next few days, it's back to living alone in the apartment.

Since you completely ignored Aemond's messages that night, neither you nor he have spoken again, not even a phone call.

You no longer ask him if he will come to eat, what special food he wants in case he does, where he is or where he spent the night.

You don't do it anymore because you no longer want to or care.

You also no longer do his laundry, the little he has here really, and now you simply clean up the mess you make and only buy food for yourself.

He probably has to come to the apartment when you are in class and you are grateful for that, even though you feel more broken inside every day that passes and you see again how he completely forgot your birthday.

He doesn't say anything to you, he doesn't even make the slightest effort, he doesn't see you and doesn't seem to have the intention of doing so any time soon.

Does it hurt? Yes, very much.

But you know you are no one to tell him what he can and can't do, who he can and can't be with.

Just as you don't have to remind him that it was your birthday, nor should you tell him that he forgot all about it.

He knows what he is doing, he makes his own decisions, he is no longer a child,… and neither are you.

That's why despite being very upset, sad and broken, really not wanting to you still force yourself to try to communicate with him.

You've got the job and there's a dorm room available at the residence halls, so now you just want to give him the key to the apartment.

Although nothing would be better than just leaving and nothing else, but you know you can't do that.

After all, he helped you a lot financially by offering you your own space here, basically for free.

But yet when you text and call him a few times as you start packing, he doesn't respond.

He responds very late at night only telling you that he's staying the night with Alys. And when you ask him if you can see each other and talk, he doesn't respond anymore.

Until more days go by and you unsuccessfully, feeling really annoyed with him, you tell yourself that enough is enough.

You ask Ryan to help you transport your things to your new home and you definitely break all ties with Aemond by bringing Vhagar with you as well.

With him pretending you no longer exist, as if he didn't have his best friend living with him, or apparently so it was, so now you also do the exact same thing.

You pretend he no longer exists and just walk away.

And now as you settle into your new home, which is not at all like where you used to live before, you still like it and tell yourself that you will get used to it soon.

It has nothing more than the small square space with your bed, your closet and desk, also a small bathroom.

You only have to buy a small refrigerator now while everything else like laundry is already offered by the residence on the first floor.

You know your room will be a small place for Vhagar but she doesn't seem to mind as she settles into your bed and falls asleep once you start unpacking.

Until the weekend comes and your friends make noise in the group chat saying they want to party on Saturday.

And you, thinking you wouldn't be in the mood, agree to go and have some fun.

It's already been a full week Monday through Saturday morning that you started your new job that you couldn't have liked any better. So you want to get all the stress out.

Most of all you want to get the sadness out of your system because of work, your classes and also because of him.

It's also been a full week since you moved, so not wanting anything to do with him anymore, you head to the one person you know will help you with the matter: Helaena.

Helaena also studies at the same university, she also lives in a dorm room, only that she studies biology.

So once you send her a message asking if the two of you can meet, she gladly accepts and you arrange to meet in her room.

And soon enough she finds herself opening her door to greet you.

"Hi Y/N!" she exclaims happily and wraps you in a soft hug, to which you smile.

"Hello Hel."

"Where have you been? I finally see you."

She asks you as she pulls away from you and looks at you a little confused, without erasing her charming smile.

"You know…" You shrug your shoulders, a little nervous, "I've been very busy with my classes."

And even though that's not the real reason, she still believes you.

"Oh yeah, sure, me too, it's a nightmare. Come on in."

She steps aside so you can come in and you do, immediately feeling nervous because you know you'll have to tell her about everything that happened with her brother.

"Even so, you didn't come to the ball."

Helaena says to you suddenly and you watch her as she closes the door behind her.

"I thought it was weird since you always go to my family's ball."

"Yes…" you say a little uncomfortable, "I… I did…

"But it seemed so weird to me that all of a sudden Aemond took his girlfriend when he said that…..

She stops suddenly, then looks at you with her eyes wide open, now softening her confused face, watching you intently.

"Oh, don't tell me," she murmurs.

And all you do is bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment in sorrow.

"Don't tell me you didn't go because he took his girlfriend."

You let out a long breath and at that moment, taking advantage of the fact that she has already brought up the subject of him and his girlfriend, you decide to tell her everything that happened.

The ball, how you now live alone in his apartment when it wasn't supposed to be like that, his conversation with Alys, his irresponsibility with Vhagar and finally your birthday.

"Oh I'm going to kill that son of a…

"No, Hel, please."

You ask her, not wanting to talk about him anymore.

"It's all done now. I don't want to cause any more…

"You? Cause anything?" she interrupts you, incredulous, "Y/N, you couldn't cause anything, it's all caused by him and his obsession with that girl."

"She's his girlfriend," you say with pain in your chest, "It makes sense."

"Yeah, but you don't put your best friend down for a relationship, Y/N," she says obviously and with an annoyed tone, "And believe me when I tell you that when I met that girl she didn't give me any good vibes. Mother seemed to some point pleased, but Nyra with her look told me everything, so did Aegon and even my uncle Daemon."

"Really?"

You ask her really interested in it, since apparently you were not the only one who felt that way when you met Alys for the first time.

"Yes, really," she assures you, "They all asked about you, Daeron, Jace and Luke too."

You lower your gaze with a sad expression, since you haven't seen Aemond's little brother or his two nephews who have always been very kind and funny with you.

You are also struck by the fact that Aemond did not tell you that his family had been asking about you at the ball.

Maybe he did it so as not to make you feel bad.

"Aemond didn't even answer them, he didn't even seem to know what to say. He just immediately introduced them to his girlfriend," she says with a pout.

You let out a long breath.

"Well, I still get the idea of how much fun everyone had. I saw your pictures and videos on Instagram."

"I just can't believe he told you at the last minute when you already had everything ready that he was taking his girlfriend," she insists, really annoyed, "And yet after making plans the idiot forgot your birthday?" she inquires.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Hel, that was a little more than a week ago," you say not wanting to give more importance to the matter, "In fact, I came here because I wanted to know if you could do me a favor, now that we are talking about it."

Helaena, still annoyed to hear everything you told her, still nods.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I…

You bite your lips, feeling nervous to tell the sister of your best friend, or ex best friend rather, about the new chapter of your life.

Mostly because after this, Aemond will finally know everything soon enough.

"I've gotten a job in a flower shop and I've also moved into a dorm. Don't worry, I have brought Vhagar with me, now I will take care of her."

You assure her the instant you know she would ask you about Vhagar.

"And even though I didn't want to, I had to try to communicate with Aemond, but he never responded and I never saw him around the apartment, so I just left because I couldn't delay any longer. To this day he doesn't even know anything."

Again Helaena's soft, tender face contorts in anger.

"That fucking son of a….

"So…" you interrupt her, taking the things from your backpack, "Here is the key to the apartment and also this envelope with money to pay him for the troubles."

You look at her with a certain sadness and with the hope in your face that she will take care of this after Helaena sees everything in your hands and again returns her gaze to yours.

"Could you hand it over to him, please?"

And now it is Helaena's turn to look at you sadly and with compassion as she looks at your hurt face and understands what you went through and what you are going through now.

"Oh, Y/N…" she says disappointedly, "I'm so sorry for my stupid brother."

And again she pulls you in a soft and comforting hug that you allow since you really need it, even though you avoid breaking down crying at that moment.

You know Helaena probably won't tell him anything, but you still don't want to cry in the arms of your ex-best friend's sister.

"Don't worry, Hel. And nothing that happened with him will affect our friendship either," you assure her in a sad voice.

"No, of course not," she says instantly, hugging you a little tighter.

After a few more moments like that, they both separate and Helaena takes the key and the envelope with the money.

That money was sent to you monthly by your parents and you decided to give it to him. Now with your job at the flower shop, you can get that money back for your needs.

But for now it feels good to give it to Aemond because despite hearing that horrible conversation between him and his girlfriend, you do it mostly to feel better about yourself.

And after talking a few more moments with Helaena, you both finally say goodbye and you walk through her door.

You both agree that one of these days you could go for a coffee together. And just as you are about to leave, Helaena stops you with her words.

Words that leave you completely still, and then you look at her again with a slight surprise on your face.

"I always believed and hoped that you and Aemond would end up together, you know," she says with a sad little smile, "I know you were best friends, but I always had a feeling, always.

At that moment… how you wished her words would have been true.

How you would have wanted that to happen.

You think with illusion, sadness and disappointment, and then just try to smile even a little in her direction, say goodbye one last time and leave.

Later that night, after crying a little and trying to cheer yourself up by getting ready to go to the party with your friends, you arrive at the frat house and the party starts right then and there.

At first, cautious, you are kept alert by the fact that Aemond could probably be here with his girlfriend or with his friends, or maybe both.

But fortunately for you, there is no silver-haired guy with a black haired girl in the crowd, so you can feel at peace.

Immediately the party games like beer pong and drinking begin.

Until at some point of the party, you realize while talking and having fun with Aileen, that again Ryan's friends have joined the group, three guys exactly.

And as you're all dancing together, having a good time, you're drinking and forgetting about everything, really enjoying yourself, you suddenly find yourself dancing and singing the songs at the top of your lungs with one of Ryan's friends, Cregan Stark.

A tall guy, dark brown hair, with black eyes and features that can't go unnoticed.

Cregan seems to have his eye on you and you have yours on him.

Eventually the two start talking, being close, dancing together, even taking pictures and videos of each other, and then the two sit on one of the sofas and continue talking.

The two very close to each other to the point of almost kissing.

Maybe it was the alcohol, the moment, the party or just that you wanted to have this kind of moments with some guy, because Cregan is really handsome and you really wanted to kiss him.

However, all the guys arrived just at that moment to keep you company and rest a bit after having been dancing for a while.

Cregan didn't seem to mind, you didn't really either, you both just smiled at each other, although he had that little disappointment on his face from the interruption.

It remained as that pending between you and that's why he asked for your number.

The next day, apparently that interaction and closeness between you and Cregan was noticed by everyone, but more so by your friends who squeal and excitedly talk about him and you.

You find out that he's a law student, a year older than you, likes dogs, plays the guitar, and apparently isn't dating anyone.

You didn't want to get your hopes up with him, because you knew that meeting a guy and him suddenly having an interest in you at a party is usually not a long-term interest and is just for the moment.

But the expectation went up the moment he texts you and asks you if you want to have coffee with him on Tuesday morning before you both have your respective classes.

And you respond, or well, your friends respond more excitedly than you, that you accept.

"Girl, the guy is handsome, tall, funny and a really nice guy, what more could you ask for?"

And in that, Aileen is right. However… there is a problem. And that problem has a name: Aemond.

Aemond has ruined every guy for you in many ways, both physically and personality-wise.

And even though he wasn't like that, he really was a very bad friend to you and all his decisions hurt you. That's why agreeing to date Cregan is easy.

You also tell yourself that Aemond doesn't matter anymore. He has a girlfriend, he's living his life apart, and so are you, and you and he are no longer friends.

So once Cregan tells you that he is already waiting for you outside your dorm, you rush out.

Excitedly you take one last look in your mirror, make sure nothing is out of place, also make sure Vhagar is okay and head for the door to leave with your backpack on your shoulder and your phone in hand.

But when you opened the door, you clearly didn't expect to see your ex-best friend about to knock on your door with a totally bewildered, confused, worried and to some extent distressed and desperate look on his face.

"Y/N...

And you are totally paralyzed the moment your name leaves his lips.

At first, you don't understand what he is doing here or how he knew exactly where you were now since you didn't tell Helaena anything about your new home.

In fact, you didn't say anything to anyone he and you know together. However, you do know him.

You know that he just by asking anyone he can find out anything he wants to know, including finding people, simply because he is Aemond Targaryen.

And then you start to panic and you feel very nervous because he's really here.

"W-what are you doing here?" you ask him in a bewildered whisper.

In an instant you tense up and hold tightly to the edge of your door, watching him intently and alertly.

"What am I doing here?" he asks in a totally bewildered voice, "What are you doing here?" he says, now certainly annoyed.

"I-I don't… I don't have time for this, okay?"

You try to walk past him, bearing in mind that Cregan is waiting for you outside and you don't want to keep him waiting any longer.

But you can't stop your heart from beating too fast and you can't stop this agonizing feeling in your gut at the sight of him now after so many weeks.

"Are you serious?"

He stops you by taking your arm in a firm grip, making you stand in front of him again, with the most bewildered, confused and annoyed look you've ever seen on his face.

"I come home calling you, wanting to talk to you, having this stupid idea that you were busy or something, only to find out that Vhagar isn't there, neither are you and neither are your things," he says to you incredulously, "I thought something bad had happened to you Y/N, I was so worried. I started to go crazy because I couldn't even call you or send you messages, nothing was getting through to you."

And at that moment, everything you were feeling, is replaced by hatred and anger for very clear reasons and that he, seeming surprising to you, doesn't see or even realize.

He probably wanted to talk to you about your birthday, but he couldn't call or text you because since you moved out and he had no idea, you decided to block him from everywhere.

But really, even though you feel weak from his unexpected appearance, his words don't make you feel anything but hurt and angry.

"And do you have any fucking idea how it made me feel when I called Helaena and she told me you got a job and moved into a fucking dorm just making everything worse?" he asks you annoyed, "All this without me having a fucking idea, Y/N."

The way he tells you everything, you immediately tell yourself that you won't react the same way even though all that flows through your system is one thing: anger.

So instead of talking to him in annoyance because you don't want to and don't have the time to explain yourself more than necessary, you talk to him calmly in comparison to him.

He is visibly frustrated and looks more bewildered than ever.

"Maybe you would have known… if you had answered my calls or messages, Aemond. Or if you had shown up even once at your apartment."

And you overemphasize your apartment.

"All that was over a week ago, much longer in fact, and you barely care to know about me or Vhagar," you say bitterly.

He shakes his head, looking more distressed and worried than before.

"I-I…" He lets out a long breath, "And what the fuck is this supposed to mean?"

He asks you again in annoyance, clearly after he has no idea what to say to the previous and from his jacket pocket he takes out the money you gave to Helaena for him and also the key to his apartment.

"For your troubles?" he raises the money in annoyance, "And the key for what? Are you really going to stay here definitely?"

"The money is because I didn't give you a single penny to help you financially and the key so you have more privacy with Alys every time you get home and I don't have to be there locked up in my room… stopping you," you explain without much interest, "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" you raise your eyebrows expectantly at him.

But he is speechless, staring at you in surprise, bewilderment and anguish, his whole worried expression speaking for itself.

"Did you…" he pauses in concern, "Did you hear us that night?"

You deliberately ignore his question.

"You wanted me to meet new people and go out more, also give you your privacy…well, I'm doing exactly that. Now leave and don't ever come back."

And without further ado you close the door behind you firmly and walk away from him to head for the stairs and finally leave to meet Cregan.

But because of the circumstances and everything Aemond must be feeling, he doesn't let you go so easily.

"Hey, no, stop," he says in a warning tone and then grabs your arm and immobilizes you as you turn towards him.

"Let go of me."

"Y/N…

"I have to go. Someone is waiting for me."

"Y/N, please…" he calls pleadingly, "You don't have to lie, I-I…" he runs a hand over his frustrated and anguished face, "Was all this for your birthday?"

At his question, you say nothing, just continue to stare at him with the most serious look ever, now just pressing your lips together and waiting for him to let go so you can leave.

"Y/N…" he calls you cautiously and with worry in his eyes, "I know I fucked up, I know that….

"Oh please, Aemond," you exclaim irritated, "I don't need any more of your pity, okay? I really don't care what you have to say, it's all done. I gave you the key back and the money too, didn't I? Now you won't have to pity me anymore and your girlfriend will be pleased to know that I won't interfere with your plans anymore."

He lets out a long breath, more frustrated than before and completely irritated by your words.

"It doesn't matter what you heard that night, Y/N. It doesn't matter what Alys said either," he tells you in desperation.

But you don't care anymore.

"I've done my part, now leave me alone."

Again you try to leave but he again won't let you go.

"Will you stop running away!? I want to talk to you, I want to fix this!" he says in exasperation, "I don't want your key and I certainly don't want your fucking money, I want you back with me!"

And that's when you can't take it any longer and you finally explode in anger at him.

"Now you want me to be with you after always leaving me out of all the plans we made for your girlfriend and leaving me living alone!? Do you really think I even want to see you and be in the same place as you after everything you done!?"

He is about to answer you, but a third voice between you stops him and also the whole discussion between the two of you.

"Y/N?"

Both you and Aemond turn your heads and from the stairs Cregan Stark looks curiously between you and Aemond, almost worried.

You know your screams must have been heard all the way to the first floor considering your room is on the second.

"Is everything all right here?" he asks you softly and attentively, turning to you.

Feeling embarrassed that he might have heard everything, which is most likely, you finally loosen your grip on Aemond and control yourself by telling yourself that it's all over now.

"Yes, everything is fine," you put on your best face, or try to, "Sorry, I was on my way out. I didn't want to keep you waiting too long."

"No, it's fine," he says nonchalantly, "Although I did come to hurry you a little," he confesses with a small, embarrassed smile, "At the coffee shop we're going to, the coffee you like is on promotion, but only until ten o'clock, so I want to get there to buy it for you."

In other circumstances, Cregan's words would have made you feel on the clouds, but because of what was happening before and with Aemond present, his words have no effect on you.

Especially because of Aemond's confused and intimidating look at Cregan, clearly annoyed by the interruption, as well as wanting to know who this guy is and realizing that you really had someone waiting for you.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," you nod in his direction, "He was just leaving too."

You say with a certain bitter and obvious tone turning your head towards Aemond, but without looking at him to which you immediately feel his gaze on you, but you ignore him.

And not wanting to keep Cregan waiting any longer, you head towards him, take him by the arm and lead him along with you towards the stairs, leaving Aemond behind.

After you and Cregan start heading towards the coffe shop, you try to pay attention to everything he tells you, but you can't.

You pretend to listen to him and collaborate a little in his conversation, feeling bad about yourself but you can't help it since all you can think about is Aemond.

And even though Cregan tries to bring up the subject, clearly because it's obvious he heard you were arguing, you quickly evade him.

However, he tells you that he believes he has seen Aemond before and has heard a lot about him. Also of his sister, Helaena.

But overall, this going out or rather date? with Cregan… did not turn out as you expected and as you wanted it to because of Aemond's unexpected visit to your new home.

And once again, you find yourself out of balance because of what happened with him now.

Latch by Disclosure and Sam Smith is heard throughout the house of the most popular party frat house and the one that never disappoints.

At first, you thought about not partying with your friends and Cregan since you weren't in the mood and didn't want to have to deal with a hangover the next day.

However, Cregan is the one who convinces you and now the two of you are dancing along with all your other friends having a good time, singing at the top of your lungs and forgetting about everything.

The whole party is going amazing, you're still not drinking too much, you're having fun with your friends and Cregan most of all.

Until you are catching your breath to continue dancing with Cregan, both of you apart and talking, suddenly your gaze is focused on the entrance of the house and Aemond Targaryen makes an appearance holding Alys' hand with all his friends also entering behind him.

Instantly you want to leave, because you know you don't feel comfortable now with the presence of your ex best friend knowing what happened the last time you saw each other.

And even more so when he notices you standing apart, with that guy from before, the two of you very close and talking, now realizing your presence.

But you pretend not to see him even though your heart starts beating fast when you feel his gaze.

When you stop feeling that he is looking at you, then you see him and still holding hands with Alys both of them go to the kitchen. And that's when you say to yourself: no.

He is not going to ruin this party with your friends. He came here for the sole purpose of having fun, which is the point of the party and so are you.

You decide to leave the feelings behind and continue having fun as before.

You drink some more, resume dancing, singing and playing party games, just forget about him and focus on you, what you are doing and the people around you.

When in the kitchen, while you are pouring more drinks for Cregan and yourself, something happens that you least expected and that causes you a lot of confusion at the same time.

However, somehow you must have known that Aemond would be coming for you.

"Y/N."

He calls out to you and when you look at him, you again meet his gaze a little worried but also hopeful that he might talk to you.

But of course, Alys must be by his side clinging to his right arm, watching you with a certain indifference.

And you, preferring a thousand times to ignore it, unfortunately still do not finish preparing the drinks, so you decide to act indifferent.

"Yes?" you say without even looking at him.

And just with your indifference, which Aemond notices perfectly, only makes him more frustrated, but not wanting to explode again against you, he can only try to relax and start with what he wants to say as calmly as possible so as not to push you away.

"Are you…" he swallows hard, looking at you apologetically and a bit nervously, "Are you enjoying the party?"

However, his question couldn't have been more pathetic for you.

"Yes, very much in fact."

You answer without further ado, putting everything back in its place to finally get out of the way and leave. And that's what you do, you turn around with your drinks in hand and walk away.

But he stops you instantly by standing in front of you.

"Y/N," he calls out to you pleadingly, "Can we go outside and talk, please?"

And you, wanting to take your indifference further, even more with Alys' presence, that's exactly what you do.

"About what?"

"About the other day," he tells you more cautious and attentive than before.

And you frown at him.

"Was there anything else to say?"

He lets out a long sigh.

"Y/N, please…

"There you are!"

Again Cregan's voice interrupts the conversation between the two of you and Cregan, without even noticing Aemond, turns to you with a small smile on his lips.

"I went to the bathroom for two seconds and I had already lost you," he says amused, "You need help?"

He points to the drinks and you nod.

"Yes," you extend one to him, placing a soft smile in his direction, "This one's yours, actually.

"Thank you, my pretty."

And maybe it had been again the interruption of the same boy from the other day, that makes Aemond can't help but feel annoyed.

But maybe it's more from the fact that he tenses up and watches him with a clenched jaw as he hears that word from him towards you.

Pretty.

Both he and you think, but you really couldn't care less as you watch between Cregan and him over the nickname.

And feeling Aemond's burning gaze, Cregan finally seems to notice the presence of Aemond Targaryen himself.

"Oh, hey," he smiles friendly, "Sorry, we've met before, haven't we?"

And Aemond, really annoyed, just bites the inside of his cheek and avoids showing his irritation, as well as the discontent he feels towards the guy.

"Yes," he says without looking at him, with a cutting tone, focusing again on you.

"Yes, sorry again," Cregan tells him again, "It's just that we weren't introduced."

And after Cregan says that, you're sorry but you want to murder him.

Especially since now Cregan is watching you too, already having the smoldering stare of your ex best at you and the guy you're apparently starting to have… something with.

Not to mention the judgmental and irritated look from Alys as well.

And you, having no choice, introduce them to each other.

"Aemond, this is Cregan, my friend," you point to Cregan, "And Cregan, this is Aemond, an old classmate at high school."

And finally you point to Aemond, without looking at him too much.

And again, everything in Aemond contracts and his whole bewildered look is reflected on his face after hearing your words.

Even Alys stirs in her place, watching Aemond intently.

A strange feeling in his chest invades him and all his disappointment, as well as his sadness, is reflected even though he tries not to be.

But the way you said it, your look, your attitude, everything about you makes him feel miserable and makes him recognize that he has definitely lost you.

Especially because after that, you don't waste any more time, you take Cregan by the hand and excuse both of you to go back to your friends, not wanting to be around him anymore.

After the party goes on, Aemond can't enjoy the moment. Even Alys next to him doesn't get his attention, neither do his friends.

All he sees is you, with him, the two of you dancing, laughing and close to each other.

He's certainly never seen you having fun like that before, never in the company of a guy he admits he recognizes; he seems like a really nice guy.

An unpleasant feeling turns his stomach and he feels it in his chest again when you laugh at something he has said, he slips an arm around your shoulders and leaves a kiss on your cheek.

His jaw tenses and he can't take his eye off of you, to some extent starting to annoy Alys by his lack of attention.

And Aemond loses it completely the moment he turns his face towards you, you turn your face towards him and the two of you kiss.

All the friendship that the two of you and Aemond used to have, you and Aemond, passes right in front of him in that moment.

Everything, from the beginning, from high school to college, with both of you moving into the apartment, having movie nights, having breakfast and dinner together, grocery shopping, everything.

As well as all the bad stuff caused by him, which he admits to, like all those nights he left you behind for Alys, the ball and your birthday.

Unable to take it anymore, totally ignoring Alys and everyone, with the hardest look on his face, he leaves the house in an act of desperation and

He moves away from all the people, from Alys, from you, because he can't see you having fun without him, he can't see you with other people, because it was always him.

And knowing that he was the one who caused your friendship to end, he takes a seat on the stairs leading to the house and starts smoking.

But even he doesn't understand himself.

Isn't this what you wanted?

His mind asks him, as confused as he is, who with a bad face and feeling like a complete idiot, continues smoking, thinking that it would be better to go back home.

But without you… it doesn't feel like that anymore.

He stays thinking for a long time, without Alys bothering to look for him, which he is grateful for since he has more time with himself.

While you, still at the party, continue drinking and sharing a kiss or two with Cregan, not really caring that you're among friends and other people.

But the moment with Cregan ends when he tells you that he has to leave, even showing you some messages from his sister asking him to pick her up at a party outside the university.

He asks you if you want him to leave you too, but you prefer to continue having fun for a while longer. You both say goodbye and stay with your friends.

Not long after, however, they all get really drunk. Even Ryan.

So as the four of you leave the house, ordering Uber's and laughing amongst yourselves, that's when Aemond sees you.

Confused, he throws the rest of his cigarette away and stands up from the stairs, watching you intently. And noticing your condition, he actually gets worried.

You can't even stand firmly on your feet.

And all you remember is having a brief conversation or discussion with someone, that someone also talking to Ryan, then you feel yourself being carried, you protest a little, and then all goes dark.

The moment you open your eyes, completely numb and feeling like a mess, the pain in your throat, body and head begins.

You groan under your breath, scrunching up your face and holding a hand to your forehead, feeling as if your head is about to explode in constant sharp pain.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself down so you can get through the pain easier, but it's impossible.

You drank too much, that's for sure, your body is confirming it. But what you don't know is where you are.

Alarmed, you quickly reopen your eyes and look around you, worrying because you don't remember who you left with last night and whether you came to your room or someone else's.

When your whole face contorts in confusion as you realize that this room is not yours, nor is it Sara's or Aileen's room. In fact, this room you know and you know it very well.

You open your eyes wide and don't understand anything, beginning to get seriously alarmed and worried.

What the fuck am I doing in Aemond's room?

You think to yourself as you force yourself to ignore all the internal pain you are feeling and get out of bed.

You quickly put on your shoes, make sure you have all your things with you and leave the room, hoping he's not here.

But of course he must be, because as you walk out into the hallway, with your things held against your chest, you hear sounds and very low music coming from the kitchen.

And as you slowly, cautiously approach, you see him, preparing breakfast, moving back and forth across the kitchen with his back to you.

Hopeful, you watch the door ahead a few feet away from you, then look cautiously again at Aemond, who fortunately has not noticed your presence.

You think to yourself that you could head for the door without making a sound and leave without him noticing. Being here with him in your old home doesn't please you, especially since you don't understand how you got here last night with him.

But you don't care, all you want to do is leave.

However, before you can try to do anything, he turns to grab something from the counter and sees you.

"Oh, you're awake," he says with a soft tone and a calm look.

At this, you don't say anything, you just watch him, hoping that by your look and your posture he understands that you already want to leave.

But he, at your lack of words, continues trying.

"You must be feeling very bad, you were very drunk last night. Here I have left you a glass of water and a pill, it will help you after you finish breakfast," he points to the bar, effectively pointing to a glass of water and a pill."

You look away from him for a second, wanting to let out a snort, since you definitely don't plan to stay here for breakfast and it's silly of him to think so just because you're here.

"What am I doing here?" you ask him, serious.

And by your tone of voice, Aemond is surprised and also disappointed, since he thought that things between you and him would never be like this again.

But how wrong he was.

Still, with relaxed posture and soft tone, he answers you to keep the peace as much as possible between the two of you and you don't leave, which is what he fears the most.

"You were very drunk last night, and so were all your friends," he explains.

"Ryan was supposed to take me and my friends to my doorm," you tell him seriously.

"Your friend was really drunk too, Y/N," he says in a more serious tone, "He couldn't handle the three of you. And I certainly wasn't going to let you go in that state, you could barely walk.

You press your lips together, thinking about the party and your friends, to again look at the door in front of you.

"Well… thank you, but I didn't need your help," you say curtly, "Not now either."

And without further ado you head for the door, catching Aemond unawares, who quickly reacts and stands in front of you, grabbing your arm.

"Y/N, please wait…

"I need to go.

"Where to?" he asks frustrated, not believing you.

"That doesn't concern you. I don't want to be here," you tell him annoyed, again trying to pass by his side, but he doesn't let you.

"Please," he repeats pleadingly, "Please don't do this anymore. Just stay."

"Let me go and let me pass," you warn him.

"At least just stay for breakfast," he insists desperately, "Let's talk and then I will take you to your dorm, I pro….

"Will you stop!?"

You explode furiously at him, unable to hold back any longer, feeling more headache and pain all over your body, but you don't care because you're tired, you're fed up and because you've had enough.

While he remains completely silent and observes you slightly surprised by your reaction, since he had certainly never seen you like this before.

At least not with him.

"I don't want to be here, I don't want to have breakfast with you, I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to see you!" you exclaim annoyed, "Can't you really see that? Can't you see that you and I are no longer friends? Can't you see that you're hurting me?"

"Y/N…" he says to you in a low tone, with a thread of voice: "Don't say that...

"You shouldn't have brought me here, you shouldn't have even tried to talk to me, because I don't want to talk to you, I want to get away from you and I want you to respect that!"

And without being able to stand it anymore, tears start to run down your cheeks, but you ignore it totally and continue watching Aemond with the most hurt look of all.

"Stop trying to play savior with me Aemond, because I've had enough."

"Playing savior with you?" he repeats in bewilderment, "Y/N, you are my best friend, I don't….

"No, that's not true, I'm not your best friend, I'm nothing!" you blurt out again furious, "A best friend doesn't hurt his best friend, doesn't leave her aside for a relationship, doesn't replace her, doesn't leave her living alone and certainly doesn't forget her fucking birthday, Aemond!"

Then again Aemond is speechless, watching you with his eye wide open, his lips half open, while you start crying in earnest, unable to control yourself.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he says to you, in a low, broken-toned whisper.

"No, you're not!" you reproach him, upset, crying, feeling broken, "If you were really sorry, you would have apologized since after my birthday, not until now that weeks have passed," you tell him hurt, "And that hurts, Aemond, it hurts that until now you have realized it, that until now you are looking for me, always treating me as the second option!"

The first tear falls down Aemond's right cheek, looking at you with a hard, but still broken expression.

"I'm so sorry, I really am. I care about you, you know that….

"No, that's not true, you don't, you don't care about me!" you contradict him again, crying.

And finally you are able to pass by his side, leaving him in a state just as broken as you are, while you wipe your tears and try to control yourself, when you can't. You still want much, much more.

There is still much, much more you want to say and you say it as you stop before you touch the door and stare at Aemond with as much sadness, hatred and anger as you can.

"You left me aside for Alys, you included her and took me out of our plans, you left me living alone here with Vhagar, you forgot my fucking bir…

You stop, sobbing and breathing hard, trying to calm yourself down.

"You forgot my fucking birthday for her and her parents while I was waiting for you, believing your stupid promises so that in the end you never showed up and only to remember me weeks later and a real friend doesn't do shit like that to his best friend if he really cared, Aemond!" you tell him crying, "I never was that way with you and believe me that having a boyfriend even so I wouldn't have been."

Then everything, both for him and for you stops, because hearing you crying and seeing you so broken, leaves him completely immobile and as broken as you are by your words.

Words and feelings of yours that he had no idea about.

While you, unable to take it anymore, finally open the apartment door and leave, wanting to get away from here and him, because that's what you want and…. he lets you.

He doesn't go after you, like he would have, because your words, everything about you, has left him completely paralyzed. He had never seen you like that, so destroyed and in tears.

And that he was responsible for those reactions of yours, reactions that he hates to see in you, makes him feel more stupid and guilty than ever.

And at that moment he realizes, that this time he has definitely lost you and in a very bad way. He has lost his best friend because of his own actions.

He feels miserable. More miserable than you.

And after that… nothing was ever the same again, both for him and for you.

You didn't see each other again after what happened in his apartment, you didn't even hear from each other through social media, because you had blocked him from everywhere and that's just felt better.

The two of you continued with your classes and in separate ways, as before, only now he was also aware of it and not only you, now with the difference that the friendship between the two of you no longer exists.

To a certain point you knew that he was still having a relationship with Alys Rivers, while you, you had to realize that starting something with Cregan, something more formal, would not be possible, at least not on your part.

You are still so in love with your best friend and so hurt that you didn't want to start something with Cregan knowing that you didn't feel anything beyond that for him. You didn't want him to be your distraction, because it wasn't right.

Your distraction was something else, something you still don't know what it is but you desperately need. Until two weeks after what happened with Aemond, that distraction showed up.

At the end of another semester of your career, an exchange program was opened for the next semester with destinations to Winterfell, the Iron Islands, Casterly Rock, Highgarden and Dorne.

There were also destinations to Essos, but you decided it would be best to go to Highgarden since with your excellent academic record, you entered the program with all expenses paid.

At the same time that you would go to classes, you would also have your internship with one of the best psychologists by being his assistant and start training yourself with his cases. You would even get paid for it.

The semester lasts six months, six months away from Kings Landing, that being exactly what you need.

So after going through all the necessary processes, you were finally given a departure date to Highgarden to begin a brief but important chapter in your life.

You gave the news to your parents, who were happy for you, wished you much success, and even let Helaena know who texted you to ask how you were doing. You never tried to talk to him.

And after the day arrives, happy and at ease with yourself, you board the plane taking Vhagar with you and hope that this will help you put it all behind you.

While still at Kings Landing University, in one of the coffee shops on campus, Helaena and Aemond Targaryen enjoy a good coffee, both serious, not talking much, just him and Helaena lost in their thoughts.

Helaena let him know the news and honestly, he doesn't know how to feel.

He is happy for you, but knowing that you are gone and will be back in up to six months, with no more friendship between the two of you, makes him feel even more miserable.

"She's in love with you, you know?"

The sweet voice of his sweet sister makes Aemond, in a fatal state, as if he hadn't slept well for days, raise his gaze towards her without really having much expression.

As Helaena shows him with her gaze how terribly honest she is being with him at that moment.

"She didn't tell me anything, but I just know," she explains.

And Aemond again lowers his gaze, running a hand over his chin, letting out a long breath.

"You really fucked up, Aemond. I can't believe you were such an idiot."

"I know," he says in a low, emotionless whisper, "You don't have to say it again, I know."

"So what then?" she says, "Get that brilliant brain of yours working. You can't be the smartest guy in your class and at the same time the biggest idiot with the girl who has always been there for you."

He shakes his head, only feeling worse just talking about you.

"Hel, I don't want to…

"Are you really going to let her go?"

His sister interrupts him with a look more expectant than ever, watching him attentively, while he swallows hard and observes with a serious and sad look Helaena in front of him.

And he doesn't answer because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't have an answer to that question, mostly because he hadn't thought about it before.

Will I really let her go?

He asks himself, but the truth is… he doesn't know.

Aemond knows it's already too late but he also feels that that's not entirely true. Maybe, just maybe… he has another chance. And his last.

thank you very much for reading and for joining me in this short way, it makes me so happy that you liked cardigan very much, there are more stories for you on the way, wait for them:)

besides, there's still the epilogue, that's when we'll say goodbye to this story for good🥺❣

@letmeloveyouuuu @ohdemimonde @carriellie @jennifer0305 @serving-targaryen-realness @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @ttkttt @melllinaa @nyenye @hoziersfairy @introverbatim @happinessinthebeing @hnslchw @padfooteyes @riseandreigns4u @shessthunderstoms @strangersunghoon @aemondslefteyeball @1950schick @ammo23 @targaryenmoony

there were many of you that I could not add to the taglist, an apology.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction

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reallyromealone · 7 months

Text

DAY🎃 FIFTEEN🎃 MONSTER - Sidon

Warning

Male reader, nsfw, smut, monster fucking, feral Sidon, biting, double penetration, aggressive fucking

He was unfamiliar with Zora courting, the Hylian prince here on behalf of his elder sister for negotiations and hadn't realised that Sidon was courting him.

From foods to practically assisting him with /anything/ even if it was nonsense.

(Name) was just happy to spend time with the Zora.

(Name) was confused as he looked around the domain for any Zora to assist him but they all turned him away much to the Hylians confusion.

"Should we tell him?" A guard whispered to Bazz who shook his head "it's close to mating season, never get in the way of another Zora whose going to get their mate"

(Name) sighed and sat on the wet silver steps of the domain before spotting Sidon walking towards him "prince Sidon! Thank goodness you're here! I don't know why but every--WHOA!" (name) was lifted up and into sidons arms and carried off "Sidon! Why are you carrying me?!" (Name) said struggling before managing to sit up and eyes were wide at Sidons gaze, it was primal...

Feral.

"Sidon...?"(name) was confused as he was brought to a room within the deeper parts of the domain, into the mountains where the inner waterfalls and private areas were and dropped on blankets and pillows "what is this" (name) asked as sidons head tail wagged a bit "mate" he said simply and presented (name) with foods "oh! It's mating season... wait isn't that basically like marriage?" (Name) spoke to himself and the shark grew impatient as he grunted and (name) looked at the mating gift "I can't deny... I have feelings for you too my little shark"

It was a blur, one moment he was eating the fish Sidon presented him and the next he was held up above sidons as the Zora's large tongue stretched him as his claws were to sharp to stretch him, instead those clawed hands bruised (name)s hips.

"Oh goddesses! Mh! More- o-oh!" (Name) shook as he came and Sidon put him in his lap and (name) felt it, two large cocks pressed against his back and one rubbing against his stretched ass "big.... he whispered as the Zora prince nipped him, causing (name) to whine at the sensation and reached out to tentatively touch the large cocks, curious on how one would get in him.

Sidon growled in pleasure as the beast within him pushed both cocks in, no warning as (name) cried in pain but held on, knowing his mate was not in the right space of mind.

But god did it also feel so good.

(Name) cried in pleasure as he was held in the giant Zora's arms as both cocks fucked into him at a harsh pace, stretching him wonderfully as he held on for deer life, Sidon covering his smaller Hylian body in bites and claims "pupupup" he whispered as (name) bit his lip, he couldn't get pregnant but... he wouldn't dare say that right now "Kiss..." (name) whispered as Sidons Large tongue dove into his mouth and invaded everything and anything he could.

He felt helpess as he twitched in the Zora's and let Sidon fuck him like a common whore.

He couldn't count how many times he came but it wasn't enough for Sidon who pounded into him relentlessly before cumming hard, flooding him with cum and it getting everywhere.

Sidon licked any wounds on (name) before guarding his new mate, warding off any challengers who may be after (name).

The poor Hylian exhausted and barely coherent as he passed out.

#legend of zelda x male reader #legend of zelda x reader #loz x male reader #loz x reader #prince sidon x male reader #sidon x reader #prince sidon x reader #kinktober 2023

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anton-luvr · 6 months

Note

You just took a shower with seunghan. He gets between your legs so you could dry his hair, your neck catching his attention. (Suggestive in a way but only bc they are in towels + soft pants and moaning??)

# 10:06pm ; HONG SEUNGHAN.

⚝ bf!seunghan x fem!reader | fluff & HEAVILY suggestive | bf au ⚝ note ; this is so... (mouth waters) UGH thank u for requesting!! thank u for waiting and for ur support on all my works too mwah <3 + take care briizes!! hani will come back to us soon, i'm sure <3

Six weeks.

That's how long the doctor told Seunghan his broken arm would be casted for.

"Six weeks?" he echoed in despair, mind flooding with the realization of all the things he wouldn't be able to do.

He wouldn't be able to play his games, wouldn't be able to eat his favorite instant noodles by himself every day, wouldn't be able to properly cuddle you at night - he wouldn't be able to do almost anything.

He really shouldn't have tried that stupid parkour trick with Sohee.

But thankfully, he had you by his side to help him out.

And maybe, not being able to do anything was quite nice after all.

He's sat on the edge of the bathtub, both of you fresh out of a shower and only in warm towels while you ran a hair-dryer over his damp hair.

"Ah, be gentle with the tangles." he whines, wincing when you accidentally tug at one.

You're quick to apologize with a cheery 'Sorry!', and you lean down to kiss him on the cheek.

All grumpiness fades once he feels your soft lips against his warm skin, a smile appearing on his lips.

Seunghan sighs happily as you continue drying his hair, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your fingers running through his hair, and he can't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world to have you.

You've been taking care of him ever since his fall, absolutely spoiling him with princess treatment.

He's really so lucky to have you.

He opens his eyes to tell you just that, but something else distracts him immediately.

Your bare neck was right in front of him, droplets of water falling from your wet hair and landing gracefully on your collarbone. He gulps as he watches them slowly slip downwards and behind your wrapped towel.

It was embarrassing how easily and simply turned on he gets, and all just from your neck.

"You look so pretty." he mumbles, leaning forward to press soft kisses all over the exposed skin.

You giggle at the ticklish feeling, but it's quick to turn into a quiet whine as the kisses start to get more aggressive.

Seunghan spares absolutely no mercy, warm tongue and sharp teeth grazing against that one sensitive part of your neck that sends shudders throughout your body.

"My pretty girl," he mutters, grinning as he pulls you into his lap and continuing his work of art.

Soft moans and whines reverberate across the bathroom as his hands start to travel across your body, your own ones busy tugging at Seunghan's hair.

"You're driving me insane." he pants, his eyes dark with desperate need and pretty lips swollen when he pulls away to catch his breath. "Taking care of me so well, gotta thank you."

The desperation only grows as he crashes his lips against yours, the towel being the only barrier between the both of your bodies heightening the desperation.

You felt so close and yet so far, and Seunghan needed more.

"W-Wait," you stutter, gently pushing him away from you. "Let's move to the bedroom, I'm scared you'll slip or something and get hurt."

Seunghan can't help but chuckle at your sweet and caring comment in the midst of his sinful actions, kissing over one of the hickeys he had left earlier.

"My baby is so cute," he coos, hot breath fanning against your ear. "But don't worry for now. I'll take care of you the way you deserve, hm?"

Your head spins at what he's hinting at, nodding while hiding your red face on his shoulder.

Without another word, Seunghan carries you up with his other arm and takes you into your bedroom - where he was going to thank you for taking care of him in the best way possible.

taglist: @wonbons @mxlly143 @keehobaldboy @shawyle @yenart @lycheecheeseyogurt

#sarah's 400 ! ☆#riize #riize fics #riize fluff #riize smut #riize drabbles #riize imagines #riize scenarios #riize seunghan #seunghan #riize x reader #seunghan x reader

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youryanderedaddy · 5 months

Note

yan prison guard who hates u but low-key wants to f??

YES?!

tw: female reader, hinted non-con, period cramps, physical neglect, abuse of power, hinted blood play, reader is hinted to be a criminal, starts flirty but ends dead dovey xD My Ko - fi <3

"Shit." You mumble, your back softly resting against the cold wall. You reach for the nearest utenstil on the ground - all metal now, since you broke one too many nice porcelain plates - and throw it against the bars with little consideration to the vomit inducing "food" still left inside. The yellow sauce splashes all over the floor, and you look up, not even bothering to hide your smug expression.

"I could make you lick that up, you know." Darcy states, adding little emotion to his already monotone voice - his eyes glued to the book in his lap and all the tiny little words in it, perfectly pristine fresh ink in the stuffy air. His gloved hands are digging into the paper, almost crumpling it, and you now know that his pale hands are simply incapable of holding anything gently - even the things he actually likes.

"Will you?" You tease, but the warning bells at the back of your mind go off nonetheless, seemingly in spite of your best attempts to come off as playful and not desperate. He rarely jokes around - not exactly the fun type. "I'll decide after I finish this page." Your warden chuckles humorlessly. "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline." He starts reading aloud, licking his cold lips. "So be earnest..." You can feel his gaze on you, caging you in like a wild animal. "And repent." He finally closes the book. "Revelation 3:19." The blonde repeats quietly, turning his attention back to you - and you realise calling out was a mistake, but now it's too late. He's got you in his clutches.

"My stomach hurts. Tell me, Father Allmighty, is this devine punishment too?" You spit out sarcastically, hugging your knees in order to numb the pain a bit. "Or am I simply on my period?" It's your turn to giggle, although it hurts to do so - anything to mask the unease tugging at your vocal cords every time you're faced with that demon.

His eyes narrow in response, and his fingers circle his nose bridge as he scoffs at you, annoyance quickly spreading across his irritatingly handsome, yet equally sharp features.

"Your voice makes my head throb. Stop it." The guard barks, voice dropping low in warning. Still, you decide to push your luck due to pure and simple physical need. "But it hurts." You let yourself whine, slowly revealing your collarbone - and silently hoping that just this once the sweat will look like glitter. "I don't care." He hisses, picking his book again.

You roll your eyes.

"Alright. Sure. But you'll be the one cleaning the bloody sheets after." You mutter under your breath, crossing your hands. You're not sure what's more frustrating - the way your stomach is trying to eat itself or having to appease a narcissistic maniac with too much power and free time through it. Somewhere in the part of your brain still capable of rational thought you realize you should be provided with basic hygiene products just like all the other female prisoners. What makes you different, you guess, is the fact that you're kept under lock and key almost extensively. Solitary confinement 24 hours a day, except for Darcy.

He brings you food. He helps you bathe - if you've been good enough. He's the only one who knows if you're dead or alive. Hell, he may be the only one who even cares.

"I'm sure cleaning up your mess will be quite exciting." The blonde cracks a tiny, self evident smile only he knows the meaning of - and you would have frowned in disgust if you could still feel that lovely human emotion. "Admit it, you actually like the thought of me bleeding, you little freak." You scrunch your nose at him, then look back to the floor, the filth so thick it almost sticks to your slightly less dirty shoes. "Takes one to know one." Darcy responds nonchalantly, running his hand through his slick white locks.

At that moment the cramps return in full force, your lower abdomen on fire with sharp stabbing pain. You remember some fragmentary tips from your scrappy teen years - you close your eyes and breath in deeply, you bite the inside of your cheek - you even pray to whoever is listening, but it just won't stop. So you bargain.

"You can have it." You say with difficulty, folded in half. Hot tears prick your eyes and you try to fight them, but soon give into the agony. It's such a relief to cry after months of resilience - to break down completely and let your most vulnerable self out.

The warden takes a single steps towards the bars and motions for you to move closer. You crawl to him, your hand supporting your lower belly in the process. He takes a good look at you and slowly, almost gently caresses your face through the metal - eyes suddenly softened by the image of you dancing in the palm of his hand.

If it was anyone else he'd be simply repulsed by this clear display of weakness. If it was another prisoner, another hardened criminal, he'd have no problem following his own principles of zero tolerance - of crushing and breaking their spirit until nothing was left. But it was you and your beatiful, stipid tears that mesmerized him to no end, that haunted his dreams and turned his bloodlust into something a lot more sinister. Something harder to capture, harder to fight - and easier to give into.

"You can have it." You repeated tearfully, rubbing at your soft wet eyelids - completely still. Scared of your own flesh and its betrayal. "My mind, my body, anything. Just please give me some pills. I can't take it." You whimper pitifully, shaking under his watchful eyes. He's holding onto your cheek, but you feel like he's got you in a suffocating embrace. And then just when you're about to kneel down, he unlocks the door to your cell.

"I've been taking your brain apart for months now." Darcy whispers softly, taking off one of his gloves and letting it drop to the floor. He takes another step towards your cowering form. "Your body, on the other hand, is a white canvas." He tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his burning gaze - and the pain fades away instantly, replaced by raw, intense fear. "I wonder what your insides look like. Surely, they're beatiful."

You feel his lips on your neck, followed by the tip of a knife - a butterfly kiss.

#yandere #male yandere #yancore #male yandere x reader #yandere oneshot #yandere male x reader #yandere x you #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere warden #yandere prison guard

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cthulhusstepmom · 11 months

Text

Evidence that Sergeant John "Soap" MacTavish is not what he seems-Lt. SR:

Soap smells like rain, it took a while to put it together because it's not Soap himself that emits the odor, it just follows him. It's less potent inside and when it's sunny outdoors but if you concentrate it's always there.

He has never been observed touching a gun or grenades without gloves. Almost every other explosive he handles with no regard for his own safety gloves.

HE EATS WEIRD SHIT. While he doesn't eat much of the food on offer from the cafe, he does eat consistently when outdoors, usually plants or flowers. Things he has eaten: dandelions(edible), garlic(edible), thistle(edible but he ate it with the thorns), foxglove(toxic, showed no adverse reaction), Several unidentified flowers and berries, grass(technically edible?) Etc.

Will sometimes refuse to enter a place before abruptly going in. The data is not consistent between different buildings or locations. Further research is required.

Sharp teeth.

Groups things in nonsensical ways. He will only fill a magazine with bullets that total a multiple of 7 or 3. The same for what weights he uses in the gym. When drawing or eating he sorts by 4s. He traded his room to get #13 (right next door, coincidence?).

Cameras will not focus on him, whether photo or video he is never in focus regardless of distance or conditions.

He has never once been in medical for more than half an hour, usually much less. Even though his hands have light burns on them almost constantly.

Dogs hate him. He seems ambivalent towards them and he's never been bit that Ive seen. Cats adore him as do birds.

John MacTavish does not blush. Not for lack of trying even when genuinely flustered or hot, his skin does not flush.

Ghost sets down the small notebook with a minute sound of frustration. The evidence is all there but looking at it, what does it really say? Other than that he's an obsessive creep. A series of quirks and coincidences compiled by a paranoid son of a bitch into a fucking stalker journal. But still, Simon can't help but feel like he's right and he'd be dead a million times over if he simply disregarded his intuition. Even if it is something batshit insane.

At this point however it seems that it'll drive him mad far before it yields any answers. After scouring what little resources were comprehensible on the internet he'd started growing out his hair, intent on tying it in knots to prevent charms. Leaving him with a problem he'd not encountered since he'd first donned the mask: unruly curls and balaclavas don't mix well at all. He'd also kept a piece of stale bread in his pocket for days as he'd read it was a repellent to- and he can't even believe he's considering it-fairies. It backfired, if anything Johnny had been more attached to him and even more touchy than usual. He'd left a small deli cup full of coffee creamer outside his door overnight and found it neatly placed upside down where he'd left it with not a drop left. Ghost chalked that up to some wise guy playing a joke or an exceptionally dextrous cat and firmly shut the door on any other possibilities in his mind. His next test had been a gift of clothing mixed with complements, he'd read that both were likely to drive away any Other. It hadn't been a very extravagant gift, a new pair of gloves and a gruff "well done Johnny" but at the time it had seemed to be the final nail in the coffin as Soap had gone white as a sheet(he can do that but he can't blush???) and scurried off. A quiet dread had filled his stomach the whole day until Soap turned up at dinner, a little quieter than usual but wearing his new gloves and eating more than usual(a scoop and a half of mashed potatoes with 4 packets of butter and 2 packets of sour cream as well as a cookie. The main course of spaghetti and meatballs went untouched though Gaz snapped it up before it could truly go to waste). Though when Ghost returned to his room late that night after trudging through hours of paperwork he found a pile of tiny, aromatic, pink flowers on the floor in front of his door and on top of them a shiny metal comb. Simon's tired brain hardly stopped to think of any of the dire warnings he'd found on forum posts and folklore sites alike, crouching and tenderly retrieving the piece from its bed of flora, careful not to crush any of the tiny blooms. Well... With all the knots in his hair-purposeful and otherwise-he's going to need a sturdy comb anyway.

#fae!soap #superstitious bastard!Ghost #little does Ghost know that Scottish fairies actually favor bread instead of being repelled by it #meanwhile the whole clothing trick would have totally worked if it weren't for the fact that Soap took as a courting gesture #also the idea of Ghost leaving out two ounces of hazelnut coffee creamer and Soap just feeling his heart beating out of his chest #but he doesnt want to be presumptuous so he waits until hes got absolute confirmation that Ghost wishes to court him #and he gives him gloves...so he can touch him and not be burned by the iron #Soap is simultaneously three steps ahead and six steps behind #cod mw2 #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #fae!au #and to think i wanted to upload this to ao3 😑

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 5 months

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Hi! Sorry to bomb you with another idea ( and absolutely no rush, as I know you probably have a full plate currently!)

But here's a cute idea for Garrick fluff content. It's that time of month for reader and she can't get a break with training etc but Garrick makes it his priority for cuddles and interrupts a training or something to make it happen. I just feel Garrick would be the prefect guy to have around for the not so lovely time of the month.

warning: period and period blood

Dragon weeks

Everything hurt. Everything. There wasn't a part of your body that wasn't aching. You had woken up in the middle of the night with a dull pain in your lower stomach but you simply were too exhausted to care and it also wasn't all that bad back then. You had simply pulled at your boyfriend's hand. Carefully nuzzling his warm palm on your stomach as you cuddled into him more. That had been enough of a relief for you and sleep had taken over you almost immediately.

Just your luck had run out by the morning. You had woken up feeling so uncomfortable and sore that even the thought of moving was irritating. Not to mention the ice-cold bed now that Garrick was gone. A sharp pain shot through your stomach as you twisted into yourself. Already feeling the dampness between your thighs. Maker if you will have to wash the sheets too...

That had been the first thing that had made you cry that morning. Hands submerged in ice-cold water you scrubbed at the stains, desperately trying to get them out. The logical side of your brain kept telling you that it was fine. Things like that happen. And most importantly- Garrick didn't care. Your periods had never been on cue. It had always fluctuated - a couple of days give or take. So accidents like that happen if your body didn't send you a warning prior. And it had happened with Garrick too. I mean you two had been together for four years now it was almost inevitable.

"I'll get it", he had muttered that absolutely awful morning when you had got out of bed only to be met with a giant red stain. "No, please, get out", you had tried to push at his chest but it was like moving a mountain. "That's not happening because I'm taken care of this", he said softly scooping you up in his hands and carrying you towards the bath. You had shrieked as his hand brushed over the stain on your clothes as he lifted you but he muttered the same thing, "Still don't care, darling".

After another cry over that you had managed to pull yourself together to get down to breakfast. You knew that neither Garrick nor Xaden would be there because the two had been going on morning patrols. Then probability a handful of meetings. You had a class of first-years to teach and to say that you weren't looking forward to that would have been an understatement. "You good?", Bodhi asked as you slipped to sit next to your friends. "How do I look like?", you said with a roll of your eyes, scrunching your nose up at every food that was on the table. Everything looked and smelled disgusting this morning.

"Well, truthfully like sh-", Imogen's hand came in contact with the back of Bodhi's head. "You just look tired. Have you been sleeping?", she asked instead, an oddly concerned look on her face. Right, so you did look like shit then. "I'm fine, don't fuss over me", you waved her off, standing up to get away from all the smells. "Hey, you didn't eat anything yet", Bodhi protested. "I will later on", you promised with a smile. "Garrick would not be happy with this", Bodhi pushed, pointing to a plate that was for you and still was untouched. "Good thing that he's not here then", you shrugged your shoulders and walked away.

You were more than happy that most cadets had enough respect to not comment on your sloppy performance today. You had ushered them to the mats and for the most part, only commented on their on one combat skills. Casually leaning against pillars or a wall. Water bottle clenched between your fingers. teeth gritted as you tried to keep standing upright. "You'll break your knuckles if you punch like that, engage your wrist", you called out right as the gym door opened with a bang.

You swayed slightly. Catching a pair of pretty, pretty but pissed eyes. "Class is over, out", Garrick called out firmly. Probably making at least a couple of the newbies shat themselves as they hurried away. "Hey, you ain't in charge here", you crocked out but that only earned a deathly glare from your boyfriend. "Move your asses, how long would it take for you to mount if we were under an attack", he snarled, pushing some of the slower ones out himself. "Garrick", you called out in a warning manner.

"Oh don't you Garrick me", he turned with a scowl, "What the fuck are you doing today?". He was a couple of steps away from you now. "I'm working just like you", you said through gritted teeth. You knew that he would see through your bullshit. This was Garrick after all. "You have pain sweat all over your face, and you're hunched over, do you need me to continue?", he was firm but you knew there was nothing but love beneath it. "Geez you sure know how to hype a girl up", you sassed back, brushing your fingers over your face. The movement instantly sent daggers through your body as you whined.

Garrick's arms are around you in an instant. "I'll lift you, might be slightly uncomfortable at first", he informed you not waiting for your approval. "You're not carrying me through the halls like some injured deer", you grumbled, trying to push away from him but only causing yourself more discomfort. "Love, you look like you are about to faint so just give up the hero act and let me look after you", Garrick pressed you closer to him. "How did you even...", you breathed out. "You had pulled my hand onto your stomach", he said simply. "But I do that constantly", you argued back. "Yes, but you had that uncomfortable pout too".

No one even dared to look at you two. Well, considering that Garrick kept his frown on even if he spoke softly to you. "Shower, bed, food, cuddles", he stated as he kicked open your bedroom door. "Was that an order?", you teased him, already feeling slightly better now that he was with you. "One that you better obey or I will tie you to the bed", he grumbled, kneeling to unlace your shoes. "Kinky", you breathed making Garrick chuckle. "Get your cute ass into the shower. I'll fetch you some chicken soup", he muttered, leaning in to kiss you a couple of times. "Can you also ask for something to ease the pain?", you would do it yourself but the thought of going up and down the stairs. Garrick reached for his back pocket, pulling out a little bottle, you gasped in surprise. "You didn't", you muttered. "I keep on one me at all times, love. You should know that by now", he said with a smug smile. "Garrick Tavis you are one of a kind", you muttered leaning in to kiss him once more. "Only for you baby, only for you", he muttered against your lips.

#garrick tavis #garrick tavis imagine #garrick tavis x reader #garrick tavis x you #garrick tavis x oc #garrick tavis fourt wing #garrick tavis iron flame #iron flame imagine #iron flame x reader #fourth wing imagine #fourth wing x reader

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grimmylilsunshine · 4 months

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Some dark stuff and angst time. Writing this more for myself.

This should be obvious but this isn't a post for romanticizing this crap. I'm just writing this for self comfort and venting. If it bothers ya, you can simply just not interact with it, block, ignore.

Warnings: Mention of the reader dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, mentions of past suicide attempts, self harm / harming, etc. Proceed with caution.

It was depressing but oddly poetic Grim thought. The mortal with the brightest soul that was of life, ironically enough, was part of a mortal who often wished to die.

Countless times he witnessed your suicide attempts, your failures on succeeding or going through with it. Your break downs and spiral into darkness and mental breaks from your own mind attacking you.

He only was waiting for the day it'll finally happen, and to have that bright soul that bothered him, but oddly enough pulled him too, reaped once and for all.

Though as years went on, and the longer you lived on than you should of. Which astonished from the way you lived, and barely survived. He had to soon enough take matters into his own hands.

However the moment he made contact with you, he felt that pull grow stronger. He started to see things more about you that he wished he didn't.

The sunshine before him, you, put on a strong face, a smile, a mask. So convincing in fact, even he often forgot the darkness and demons that troubled you.

But as time went on, and the more you opened up. The more mask started to crack, break and crumble before him.

It was like flickers, but he could see the emptiness, the hopelessness in your eyes.

It bothered him. Upset him. But he tried to focus on the job at hand. Which was reaping your soul...

Until one day he couldn't help but just focus on your care and wellbeing.

Once again, you tried to put on that forced fake yet convincing smile...but this time it wasn't working. He could see the tiredness in your eyes, the smile not reaching those eyes. As well the exhaustion visible even from your soul...

The light in you was dimming again, and he couldn't stand it.

💀 "Sunshine...Did you sleep at all?"

🌻 "...Yeah, a bit...Couldn't really sleep well again though..."

💀 "...I see..."

💀 "...Did you eat?"

🌻 "...A little."

💀 "What did you eat?"

🌻 "...Nothing much. Just crackers...I really don't feel hungry today to be honest."

💀 "...Did you go out to get some sunlight? Some air? Also did you drink any water?"

🌻 "I don't like going out much now...and yeah...I think?"

💀 "..."

🌻 "....."

💀 "What are you thinking about right now?"

🌻 "..."

💀 "...Sunshine?"

🌻 "...Can we end this call now? I'm suddenly feeling tired again and--"

💀 "No. I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong."

🌻 "Why do you care?...You want me dead right? To have my soul? Just leave me alone and maybe you'll finally get it sooner than you think."

💀 "Sunshine, I--You don't--That's it. I'm going over there right now."

🌻 "What? Why? You don't hav--"

Before you could say anything else, he dropped the call and didn't text back no matter how much you sent messages. Suddenly you felt like you screwed up again, that you might of made him angry, or hate you truly now.

The dark thoughts started to flood back in at a intensity now, you just wanted to escape from it all. So you searched around in your drawers, looking for anything sharp again to help but before you could grab anything. A knocking was heard at your window.

You looked up to see Casper with a serious yet worried expression on his face.

💀 "Open the window, Sunshine. Let me in."

🌻 "..."

You did as you were told, and let the Grim Reaper in.

Before you could get a word out, he grabbed you and pulled you in for a tight hug. At first you stiffen at his touch and hold, you weren't used to this...and you wanted to push him away, but same time didn't.

💀 "It's okay, Sunshine...I'm right here now. You don't have to go through this all alone...You don't have to act strong around me. I promise, I won't leave you. I won't hate you. I won't let you suffer alone anymore. It's okay."

It took a moment for you to finally relax in his hold, and you were nervous to hug him back. But after a slow but struggling attempt to fight against your own body and mind, you finally did. And for once, even though his touch was cold...You felt warmth, love and safety from a embrace again...

#a date with death #a date with death casper #a date with death grim #grim x mc #grim x reader #grim x y/n #grim x you #casper x mc #casper x reader #casper x y/n #casper x you #suicide mention #depression mention #deciding to share this finally because it's constantly on my mind lol

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roosterr · 6 months

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I had a cute little idea for the requests where it could be a platonic Simon and Reader where they can tell Simon’s stressed post-mission possibly from flashbacks or just a mission going wrong and whatnot and gets him to go with them for take out just to try and let Simon know they have someone to lean off if need be 🥺

this is so sweet :,) please enjoy anon!

(platonic) simon ghost riley & gn!reader

wc: 1k ao3

ghost is an expert in disguising how he's really feeling. you can only glean so much from just his eyes, the rest of his expression perpetually hidden beneath his mask and leaving most people oblivious to his mood.

you, however, are not most people.

it subtle, but the tells are there if you know what to look for. lately he's been more irritable than usual, snapping at people and losing his patience at things that typically wouldn’t faze him. you don't think anyone else has picked up on the tension in his shoulders, something that’s clear to you after all the time you've spent with him.

it's made especially obvious that something’s going on with him in the way he jolts when you open the door to his office. his head snaps up to look at you, the icy look he sends you only fueling your concern for his out of character reaction.

"haven't you heard of knockin'?" he growls from behind his desk, papers scattered over the surface, and if he wasn’t still wearing the balaclava you’re sure his hair would be in a similarly dishevelled state from how his fingers worry his head.

"...i did." you shut the door behind you, and with dismissive a roll of his eyes ghost looks back down to his work and does his best to ignore you.

the longer you watch him, the more exhausted he seems; you can see the bags under his eyes now the eyeblack has been washed away, and the slight tremor in his hands as he attempts to write in a legible way.

people have been talking, you hear them gossiping about how they’ve seen ghost roaming the halls late at night. none of them thought anything of it, but you knew that meant it was getting bad again, so you decide to just bite the bullet and try your luck. "you got a sec?"

he glances up at you, eyes sharp under his furrowed brow, letting your question hang in the air for a moment. you wait in silence for his response, only the rhythmic ticking of the clock for background noise.

"just spit it out." he finally grumbles, dropping his pen and crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in his chair. you take it as a good sign that he didn’t outright tell you to piss off.

"i'm going for takeout, do you wanna come with me?" you try, a hopeful little smile on you lips as you slowly approach his desk. his eyes follow your movement, unreadable, and there's another pause before he answers.

"ask one of the others."

"i would’ve if i wanted to." you reply, smile deflated slightly by his clipped tone. he doesn’t react, simply observes you with the same deadpan stare, but you won’t give up that easily. "c’mon, mate, i'll pay?"

at that ghost releases a long sigh, letting his eyes fall shut in a slow blink before pushing himself to stand. "...if you insist."

you grin, a sense of triumph coming over you as he rounds his desk and gestures for you to move. both the walk to your car and the drive into town are spent in relative quiet, the space where ghost would usually respond to you with quips of his own filled only by his short hums.

you don't push or pry, you know he's not quite himself at the moment – it was the whole reason you were doing this, after all.

you let ghost choose where to eat, despite this being your idea, and he settles on that greasy pizza place you always seem to end up at on a night out. he still doesn't say much as you're ordering, or while you're leaning on the wall outside waiting for your food, until you speak up and voice what you’ve been thinking for the last week or so.

"look, i know you like keeping it to yourself, but," you start, watching the cars go by to avoid his gaze, "you can always talk to me, ghost."

"cheers." if you were anyone else, you'd be fooled by the ease in which he brushes you off, but there's something else in his voice as he replies. "you gonna give me a motivational speech?"

"i know you don't think anyone notices, but i do." your voice is low as you look over to him, the look on his face decidedly sadder than earlier in the dim evening light. "if i can help you, i want to."

his movement stutters, pausing with his hand halfway through rubbing his eyes like you'd caught him of guard with what you said. you're almost worried he'll shut down completely, but a second later he mumbles, "...you don't have to do that."

you huff. "you heard me, i want to."

"why? you got your own issues, no point boggin' yourself down with mine too."

"you're my friend, ghost. that's how it's supposed to be." you reply, nudging his arm with your elbow. he's stiff under your touch but, unlike earlier, his shoulders sag and his hands have stopped trembling. "you tell me your troubles, and we deal with it together. two heads are better than one an'all that."

"thank you."

you almost miss the whisper. you do your best not to react before he looks away again, trying not to make a big deal out of his vulnerability. instead, the two of you go back to standing side by side in silence, watching the world go by with a lot more peace than before.

your order is eventually called out, and ghost goes inside to collect it while you wait outside. it may not be much, but you're glad he didn't completely shut you out. you're not sure you know anyone who deserves a shoulder to lean on more than ghost.

when he comes back out you reach to take the boxes from him, but he just shoves a twenty pound note into your hand, and before you can react he's already marching back to the car.

"hey, i said i'd pay!" you call, a fond smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you jog after him.

"course i'm not lettin' you pay, you twat." he glares back at you, but the look holds no malice. a beat passes before his face softens almost imperceptibly and he adds in a quiet murmur, "not after all that."

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #mw2 x reader #cod x reader #141 x reader #call of duty x reader #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #roosterr writes

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deathsweetblossoms · 7 months

Text

Elain Archeron’s Character Growth

I'd never once seen [Nesta and Elain's] hands sticky with blood and fur. (...) It wasn’t that Elain was cruel…Elain sometimes just didn’t grasp things. It wasn’t meanness that kept her from offering to help; it simply never occurred to her that she might be capable of getting her hands dirty. I’ve never been able to decide whether she actually didn’t understand that we were poor or if she just refused to accept it.

—ACOTAR

Getting Her Hands Dirty:

"“Don't forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one's hands dirty along the way." “And torn up by thorns," I mused, recalling a morning this past summer when Elain had come into the house, her right palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. The thorns had broken off in her skin, leaving sharp splinters that I’d had to pull free."

—ACOSF Bonus Chapter

“Enchanted gloves,” she read from the card. “That won’t tear or become too sweaty while gardening.” She set aside the box without looking at it for longer than a moment. And I wondered if she preferred to have torn and sweaty hands, if the dirt and cuts were proof of her labor. Her joy.

—ACOFAS

"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister".

—ACOWAR (thank you @tealeaves-and-rosepetals for this one)

Elain "Grasping Things":

“It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.” For a moment, I just stared at my sister, the wisdom she’d spoken.

—ACOFAS

Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

—ACOSF

Elain Offering to Help:

A lady—that’s what Elain would become. What she was risking for this. (...) “I’ll do it,” Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders.

—ACOMAF

Cassian shifted in his seat. “So we track down the Dread Trove—how?” Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.”

—ACOSF

But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed.

—ACOSF

Elain Accepting The Hand She is Dealt:

Elain, who would not eat, or speak, or do anything at all. Elain, who had somehow become the adjusted one.

—ACOSF

Elain, mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen, had found a place, a role here. Tending to the gardens of Feyre’s veritable palace on the river, helping other residents of Velaris restore their own destroyed gardens—she had purpose, and joy, and friends: those two half-wraiths who worked in Rhysand’s household.

—ACOSF

Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta.” The words were kindling. Elain had accepted his death as inevitable.

--ACOSF

“It’s already ended badly. Now it’s just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences.”

—ACOWAR Anyways she's perfect. She is everything. She is the moment.

#pro elain archeron #this is for the elain lovers for seeing our girl when nobody else can #inara rereads ac*tar #elain archeron #elain: so full of light #Elain reference for myself #reference: Elain

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billiethepumpkin · 8 months

Text

Don't Make Me: Tomura Shigaraki

Kinktober Day 4

Warnings: Rated X. This content is intended to be consumed by those ages 18 years and older. If you are a minor, please do not interact with this content.

Contains: BDSM-style relationship. Bratty behavior. Cockwarming. Voyeurism. Impact play. Vaginal sex. Unprotexted sex. Male orgasm. Female orgasm. Creampie.

Author's Note: All characters are written as adults because I am an old fuck. :)

You could have stayed quiet.

You didn’t have to say anything. You didn’t even have to acknowledge that feeling that was building in the pit of your stomach. You could have just continued about your day, making dinner and watching television. You know, normal people shit.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you thought long and hard about all the ways Shigaraki, in the other room, could quench that thirst below your waist. You thought that, maybe, he would lift you onto the kitchen counter and eat you like you were the last meal he’d ever received. Or maybe he’d bend you over the table and take you from behind. Or if you were lucky, maybe he’d do both.

Definitely both.

You remembered now the way this all started. You’d been feeling a little more desperate than normal, sitting on the couch with your hand between your legs. The thought was, maybe Shigaraki would come into the living room in between games and be tempted by you. Maybe he’d stuff his fingers inside you right there on the living room couch.

He never did.

You sent him a picture, one with your shirt off where he could easily see that you were playing with your own nipples. No text. Just a picture. Maybe he’d get the hint and just come have his way with you.

No such luck.

Instead, he sent back a text that simply read, “Exquisite,” with a heart emoji at the end. Now you had to get creative. Shigaraki wasn’t taking your hints. He wasn’t going to come in the room and see you, all splayed out for him. You were just going to have to take matters into your own hands.

You walked past the office that you shared and into your bedroom. You took off every last bit of clothing you had on, stripping yourself down to absolutely nothing. And you took a step into the office, feeling the blush creep over your cheeks. “Baby?” you called into the room.

“Hm?” he hummed. He turned to face you. When he saw you standing there, fully naked before him, he felt his own hunger spring to life. You, stood there in all your glory, your perfect tits, your plush thighs, and the rest of your gorgeous body. How could he not indulge himself?

But Shigaraki would not be himself if he just let you do whatever you wanted.

“Are you really such a slut that you can’t wait until I finish my game?” he asked. You watched as Tomura’s eyes darkened, and he smirked up at you. His arousal was suppressed deep down inside him.

You didn’t respond. Any answer you gave would have been wrong. You could answer, “Yes.” Technically, that would be the true answer. But that would be an admission to being a slut, and you just couldn’t have that.

Tomura stood up and walked toward you. You took a deep breath as he did, and he kissed you deeply. His hand wrapped around your throat, one finger carefully lifted away from your flesh. And when he pulled away, he laid out his terms. “Here’s what you can have,” he began. “You may sit on my lap with my dick stuffed inside your needy little cunt. You will not move. You will not make any noise. If you do either of those things, you will earn yourself a smack on the ass. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” you answered, nodding.

Shigaraki stripped himself and sat back down in his chair. “Come here,” he demanded, stroking himself.

You did as you were told. You walked closer to him, and you carefully situated yourself on his lap. You felt your chest press against his. His physique was lean and thin, and his skin was soft. You took it all in with a sharp breath. Shigaraki held his cock with one hand, keeping it steady as it slid inside you. You were much wetter than he ever knew, and it took all the willpower in Tomura’s body not to just drop everything to fuck you then and there. But this wasn’t about that.

Your breath caught in your lungs as Tomura buried himself to the hilt inside you. You would not make a sound. You would not move. You could do those two things, as long as you got to have him inside you.

Right?

God, you were wrong.

Shigaraki convinced himself he wasn’t trying to make this more difficult. No, he wasn’t trying to make you whimper and moan for him. He was just really into the game this round. His body tensed up, and he squirmed in his seat. And finally, when he jumped a bit in his seat, you let out the tiniest little whimper.

Tomura immediately stopped whatever was going on in the game to look at you and say, “What did I tell you?” And he smacked you on the ass, sudden and rough, his contact enough to sting for several minutes after.

You whimpered quietly again. “‘M sorry,” you moaned, sort of out of breath.

“I won’t warn you again,” he said before turning back to his game.

However, the feeling of his handprint was etched into your flesh, the fat on your ass stinging and desperate for his hand. Your pussy ached as you longed for another slap like that.

You couldn’t help it. Really, you couldn’t help the way your pussy twitched and your hips squirmed against him. And in response, just as he had said before, he smacked you again with no warning. You whimpered again, louder this time. You were needy, much too needy to be teased like this. “Whore,” he accused as he slapped your ass again. “I hope you know they can hear you, needy girl.”

You squirmed against Shigaraki’s hips even more, moaning quietly, unable to hide your arousal. You didn’t care that they could hear. Hell, you wouldn’t care if Tomura had his camera turned on the whole time. He could broadcast it live to the entire country and you would still let him fuck you raw, right in front of the entire world.

“You need it so bad, huh?” Shigaraki asked, his hands rubbing over your hips and gripping the flesh on your thighs, one finger hovering above, as always. You whimpered a little louder at the sensation, and out of reflex, Tomura slapped one of your thighs, too. Your leg and your ass was warm. You could feel it. You wondered if there would be a bruise. You hoped so. “Don’t make me fuck you in front of all these people,” he provoked. He grinned wide, getting a wild look in his eyes. Shigaraki knew he would take you anywhere. Any bathroom. Any closet. Even online, with all his temporary teammates listening. He wouldn’t turn off the game. He wouldn’t leave the lobby. He wouldn’t even put himself on mute. He would fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk straight, and all of those people would know about it.

All you had to do was say the word.

“Take me, Tomura,” you moaned, your hands resting on his shoulders to steady yourself. You looked straight into his bright red eyes and silently begged.

Shigaraki kneaded your flesh more, your hips, your thighs, your ass. He silently claimed all of them. Mine, he thought to himself. “Are you sure?” he said. It was a threat. “All of these people are listening. All of them can hear you getting fucked senseless.”

You nodded frantically. “Yes, please.”

Shigaraki gripped your chin, and he paused for a second. He took everything in, your beautiful body pressed against his, the feeling of your warm cunt dripping around his shaft, the way your face already looked fucked-out when he hadn’t even started. It was enough to make him want to bust then and there.

But he wouldn’t.

No, he wouldn’t cum until you were good and ready.

Without even taking off his headset, he picked you up and pushed your body onto his desk in one swift motion. Shigaraki began to thrust into you, hard and fast. You couldn’t help the way your body convulsed. You threw your head back, and your mouth hung open as you let out a long, extended moan. “Is this what you wanted?” Shigaraki asked, close enough that you could feel his breath on your neck. “You wanted to be fucked senseless?”

You felt his teeth on your neck, biting hard and almost growling into your skin. Three fingers and a thumb on both hands gripped your thighs hard as his cock pummeled into you. You continued moaning louder, your words escaping you for the moment. “That’s my girl,” he hissed into your ear. “You wanted to feel good so bad, huh, dirty girl? You just had to get fucked like this.”

You could feel your body tensing up. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you moaned out loud for him. His headset was right next to your ass. You knew they could hear you, the slapping of Tomura’s hips against yours, the squelching of your hot, wet cunt. But it didn’t matter. They didn’t matter. You were cumming around his cock after just minutes of fucking.

He felt the pressure around him, a vice grip on his cock. You were perfect, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Your moans played on repeat in his ears, and he suddenly felt every sensation all at once. Without warning, he came hard with a long sigh. His grip was so tight on your hips, you were sure you had handprints that would last at least a week.

“Are you happy now?” he asked, breathless and leaning his head against your shoulder. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, satisfied at your return on investment from the very beginning.

Tomura couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but continue rutting into you, now more gently than before. His hips were barely moving, but you just felt so good wrapped around his dick as he made a line of kisses over shoulder and neck. He kissed you so sweetly and gently, you wished moments like these would never end.

When he finally pulled out, he tripped and stumbled, almost falling backwards onto the floor. You saw the cord fly to the side, and his headset fell to the ground. His headset was unplugged, and you heard a teammate say, “Thank god, it’s finally over.”

You couldn’t help but laugh out loud as you ran to the bathroom to give yourself a shower.

This work was written by Abigail "Billie" Rothenberger. Please do not copy this work on Tumblr or any other platform.

#mha #bnha #mha smut #bnha smut #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha shigaraki #bnha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki smut #kinktober #smut #bnha kinktober #mha kinktober

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minhosimthings · 8 months

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For Love to Exist: A Hyunjin Fic

Synopsis: In which Aphrodite makes a plan for two loveless souls.

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin × Fem!reader, includes rest of Skz (side characters)

Word count: don't know but it's really long

Warnings: Fluff, angst, slow burn, mentions of self harm, and mental abuse, reader is an orphan, mentions of food and drink. She/her pronouns used, reader has scars on her skin

A/N: this is sort of a self indulgent fic for me and it is dedicated to all the people in my life who have made me feel like I am worthy of love again. This is based off of my own experiences due to my abusive past and how I let those go with the help of the people I've met here in university. I based Y/N off of myself (I hope you don't mind) because I feel like Hyunjin would be the type of person to love s person, regardless of their past, and ignorant of their future (and also I'm too delulu for Hyun rn). I dedicate this fic to all the people around the world, who feel that they do not deserve a red heart, and an I love you everyday. I dedicate this fic to the little girl inside of me, who still thinks that she is unworthy of love.

For love to exist, souls should exist too. For love to breathe, souls should take a deep breath too. For love to live, souls should learn how to live too. But for you, souls simply did not exist. They were just imaginary things made up by boring adults to tell children why they married their partners, to mask whatever what going on in reality. Why would anyone believe in souls and hearts and bonds and all that bullshit? Kids, of course, believed it.

You, on the other hand, were taught by cold eyes, ever since forever. Cold eyes had taught you that warm ones always lied and that love was just a fairytale made up to increase the population of earth. Cold eyes told you that June wasn't about pretty flowers and sundresses. They taught you it was about the burning sun and the heatwaves. Cold eyes taught you that flowers were nothing more than biological creations of two genetically unique organisms. Cold eyes taught you that the world was just the Earth, just a globe and that the universe didn't care for a tiny speck like you.

Work, Eat, and sleep. Those were the only things you did with passion. Those were the only things in your life that you noticed and yearned for. It was painful to watch your coworkers at the company, who were below you, enjoy life so much. As chief editor, you had less work than they did, yet they saw life as a chance. They saw life as a chance to enjoy the fruits of the universe, while you still saw life as a scarred being. Funny, how you thought that everyone else was mad to have love in their lives, yet there you were with scars on your chest, both physical and mental, going unnoticed by the minute.

Until Hyunjin came into your life.

Hwang Hyunjin. Step son of your goddamned boss. You were told that he would be working alongside you as both an assistant editor and as a new cartoonist, replacing Mr Park, who had resigned five days ago. You groaned at the idea of having someone follow you all day, asking you if you needed anything. You were better off without an assistant or a cartoonist. But your magazine wasn't the leading magazine in South Korea for no reason. The illustrations provided alongside the thigh slapping articles always provided the greatest entertainment to the millions of readers. Mr Park was an old man, who was always quiet and mostly kept to his drawings, exactly your preference. Someone who doesn't annoy you or ask about your love life because apparently, at 23, a woman has nothing better to do. But a man, your age, who you've heard used to be a singer in a band, yeah that wasn't going to work with you.

Your boss had introduced you guys on his first day. He was.... surprisingly handsome. His eyes were like a kitten's, small and glittery, as if Andromeda had poured all her stars into them. His nose and jawline were so sharp, in total contrast to his gaze, soft and pinkish. You wondered why all those thoughts were coming into your head. Never before had they had even touched your mind, when you saw other men and women around you, no matter how pretty they were.

He worked in silence. Complete silence. He wouldn't even move his chair or anything. The desk on which he worked was so pristine and organized, very much like yours, exactly like yours. But there was an aura with which he worked on piece of paper with a black ink pot that you could only dream of having. It was like the sky favoured him, sunlight illuminating all of his features, including some tiny moles on his face. You couldn't help but admire his serious face, headphones in, with an ink stained brush moving swiftly across paper, tracing the tiny dots and lines of whatever he was making. You had first approached the company as a cartoonist yourself, having the skills because of an art minor. But soon the director saw you better as a journalist and slowly but surely you moved your way up the ladder to become chief editor. And when you saw other people doing something you used to love doing, you wondered if you hadn't accepted the job as an editor, would your life have been so mundane? So brown and still?

"Um Miss Y/N?" A voice broke you out of your stupor, starting you and getting your mind away from the articles on your computer screen. Hyunjin was standing next to you, holding pieces of paper in one hand and his brush in the other. He had a dab of ink sprawled across his nose. Cute, you thought.

"I, uh, finished the illustration for the first article you sent. Are they ok?" He gave you five pieces of paper, all with funny intonations on them, a cookie wearing hat, and an iguana wearing a DJ's glasses. It was cute, really cute you thought, as you gave them back to him, nodding in approval and shooting him a small smile. "You have ink on your nose, did you know that?" You pointed out to him, handing him a tissue from your tissue box, which he took and immediately disappeared behind his computer, wiping his nose aggressively. Cute, so cute.

You usually left work at eight thirty, not too late and not too early that you'd miss your tea. But something made you want to stay back today. Someone, specifically. Hyunjin told you that he usually went home by ten, since he didn't do much during the night. You refrained from telling him when you went, lest he question why you stayed back today.

"Miss Y/N I'll be heading out now. Good night." He held up his olive green bag and waved goodbye to you. Something inside of you wanted to say 'Wanna go together?' but you had always ignored that something so you instead waved back to him and started picking up your things.

That day, the old grandmother at the ramen shop you always went to said something was different about you and told you to smile more. You didn't know whether or not that was a complement but you took it willingly along with spicy ramen with beef.

"Miss Y/N I-" "Hyunjin stop call me Miss. Im your age. Just call me Y/N, alright?" You finally got that sentence out of your mouth after keeping it in for an entire week. An entire week Hyunjin addressed you with honorifics and today you wanted to tell him that just your name was enough. Just your name coming out of his mouth like a sweet melody was alright. "Oh well ok Y/N." He said with some difficulty, feeling awkward not using the proper words. "I wanted to say that lunch break began over two hours ago and you still haven't got up from your seat, so I uh bought you something. I asked your co workers what you usually eat so um yeah." He did what? You looked down at his extended hand, holding a box of your usual Ramyeon and an americano. You silently took the food from his hands, shooting him a quick 'thank you'. He deserved more than that, but at that moment, all your shocked brain could do was that.

Someone cared for you. Someone noticed that you weren't eating. Someone noticed how you stayed on this cold October day. And that was sort of sweet? Someone did that for you and for once it seemed he did not want anything in return. That couldn't be true, you thought as you silently ate your Ramyeon, all the while shooting tiny glances at Hyunjin, who was once again immersed in his drawings. Seeing him so deeply imbued in an art, which provided him a job, was so endearing to look at. He was doing something he enjoyed, while earning money for it. Isn't that what everyone in the world would love?

"Um Hyunjin? Hyunjin." You snapped your fingers in front of Hyunjin, who had his headphones on, with that brush back in his hand. He looked so cute, being broken out of his hypnotised state. His eyes blinked at you for a few seconds, before he took the headphones off and greeted you. "What is it Mi- I mean Y/N?" God he was so handsome. He was in a loose baby blue sweater and white pants today. He looked so dainty and fragile as if you touch him and he'll break. "I uh wanted to thank you again for the food today. Um. Any way I can thank you for it? Maybe buy you a coffee?" You could feel your cheeks getting redder by the moment. Even if he couldn't see the blush, you could definetly feel them. If your guardian angels were watching you right now, they'd be saying 'Y/N get your ass up and stop blushing so much.'. "Oh. Um uh" Hyunjin stuttered for a bit before checking his watch. Nine thirty am. There was still half an hour left to go home, meaning you both had enough time to grab a coffee and perhaps a bagel or something tasty.

"Oh course Y/N. But please do not pay for my food. You need not repay me for lunch." Your pleas for that sentence went unheard, as Hyunjin kept saying that he didn't want anyone to pay for him, reasoning that lunch was a basic human need and he was just helping his co worker out. Something about the way he defended himself and explained things was so adorable. It was like a ferret explaining why it's fur is white and why it's ears are so round.

"This is surprisingly good." You commented, as Hyunjin and you sat by the little round table in the coffee shop, drinking Americans and eating Macarons. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at you, watching as you are your pistachio Macaron. "You never had a Macaron before in your life?" You shook your head at his question, trying to swallow your bite of the Macaron quickly, so as to answer his question. "No actually." You managed to cough out after what seemed like five hours of you chewing the sweet dessert. "I don't have a preference for sweet things. I used to but I grew out of it." Hyunjin looked up at you, from staring at his shoes. "You used to? Well I always used to believe that a sweet tooth could never grow out of their preferences. Turns out I was wrong then." The corners of your mouth twitched as your heart itched not to say 'why are you so perfect?' to the man sitting in front of you. "So what musicians do you listen to?" It was now your turn to look up at him with wide eyes. It was funny how both of you were eating food together like two normal human beings, yet neither of you dared to look at each other, or maintain direct eye contact for more than a fraction of a second. "Pardon?" You asked him, eyebrow raised and foot tapping on the floor. He stumbled back a bit and said, in a apologetic tone, "Oh I didn't mean to impose. Im sorry. I just thought, you know we see each other every single day, and I have never gotten to know what my coworker likes a dislikes so um.. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Seeing him apologize like that was like seeing a puppy apologize to a black cat. You probably looked scary right now, with your expression and your rigid figure, so it made sense for Hyunjin to react like that.

"Oh it's alright Hyunjin." You said, shooting him the tiniest smile ever. "People don't really ask me questions about myself that often so I was kind of taken aback." Hyunjin just nodded and hummed in response to your bland statement.

That night, when you went home, you thought to yourself, about how much you missed human interaction. Most often disassociation and loneliness were your favourite drugs, but Hyunjin asking you a simple question about your favourite singer, made those drugs seem pleasure less. Your therapist would have probably looked you up and down and immediately told you that you were in love, being the hopeless romantic he was. People were scared to approach you. You, with your head held high in the air, your gait threatening that of Hera's, and your expression, cool and wicked. But Hyunjin just casually asked you what musicians you listen to, as if he had known you for years and he was meeting up with you again, at a school reunion. It was shocking to you, how he could just say that, without stuttering. Yes he did stutter later on, but it was so adorable the way he apologized to you, hands nervously palming at his fingers and nose silently twitching. Maybe friends weren't so bad after all, you thought, as the stars looked at you in pity, talking amongst themselves, about where had God gone wrong with you.

A sticky note? Your boss never left sticky boss for you. Usually his assistant to deliver you messages. So who wrote this mysterious pink sticky note, stuck to your computer with a smiley and something written on it? You had arrived at work after Hyunjin today, who, once again was is a hypnotic state, lightly bobbing his head to whatever was playing inside of those blue headphones. You slightly suspected that the note was probably his, as you sat down on your chair, hanging your bag in the usual place beside your table. You pulled off the note from the computer and examined it closely. There was something written on it with a glittery purple pen.

I scared you yesterday with my question. So I'm going to ask you through a note. What musicians do you listen to? (PS you can answer through a sticky note too)

You noticed Hyunjin kept giving you small glances from time to time, only taking his eyes away from his art for a fraction of a second. Cute, you thought, really cute. This was by far the cutest thing he had done. You silently took up a glittery blue pen from your drawer and wrote some sentences on a different sticky note, knowing when you were going to stick it.

"Hyunjin could you do me a favour?" You tapped on his desk to alert him. He looked up at you once again, with those same doe eyes. You noticed the ink once again splattered on his nose. "Yeah?" "Could you take this up to Mr Kim once and ask him if this is how he wanted the article to be edited?" You handed him a blue file to take it upto your boss, which is silently took and went up to the boss's office, giving you enough time to stick the note onto his computer. You made a last minute addition to the note, before rushing off to the canteen, lest Hyunjin catches you in your mischievous act. Even though it was just sticking a note to your co worker's computer this felt like the most amazing thing you had ever done in your life, the most daring.

Where had you gone? Hyunjin had come back to his desk after handing off the file to the boss, who said he'd give it back tomorrow, only to find you nowhere to be found. He swore that he had saw you here just a second ago. Where had you gone now? Shrugging his shoulders and telling himself that you had probably taken a bathroom break, he sat back down on his desk, ready to complete the illustrations for the day, that you had given him yesterday, when he noticed something stuck to his computer. A green sticky note. Could it be? Did you respond to his very creepy, weirdo nerd way of asking you a question in order to get to know you better?

When Hyunjin sat down on his chair, and slowly pulled the sticky note out, he sweated that his heart had skipped a hundred beats (or 143 beats hehe). Your loopy handwriting was scrambled on it with sparkly blue ink.

This is very middle school of us to be passing notes in work but I like listening to Lana del Rey, Florence and The Machines, a bit of k-pop and lot of classical music. Now you answer my question along with your own question. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? (PS you have ink on your nose)

Hyunjin's soul was doing backflips in his stomach. Having an obsession for love, he wondered whether this was how Cupid felt like when he shot his first arrow. You listened to the same artist he did. He absent-mindedly wondered about what question to ask you next when you came out from the canteen, carrying lunch for the both of you. "Oh hey Hyunjin." You said in what you hoped wasn't an over active tone. "I uh got you lunch to pay back for when you got me lunch and um here you go." You awkwardly handed him the cup of spicy tteokbokki along with some other dishes and an Americano. As if returning the awkwardness, he mumbled a sheepish 'thank you', grabbed the food and hid behind his desk. Somewhere in the clouds Aphrodite was sighing, not knowing what to do with you two.

After a few hours, when you had gotten up to go the boss's office, Hyunjin saw his golden chance and took it. He scribbled his question onto a pink sticky note and quickly stuck it to your desk, frantically sitting back on his chair and pretending to be focusing on his cartoon which had long been completed.

Happiness. Happiness was all you and Hyunjin felt that night, when both of you parted ways. It was that happiness which a fourteen year old gets when their crush pays attention to them. It was mischievous happiness, as both you went home and pondered about questions and answers. Middle school romance was something neither of you had, with him not finding the correct person, who would love him for who he is, and you just not wanting love anymore. Aphrodite would be probably be smiling right now, twirling her roses and she makes the next part of her plan.

"Hyunjin! Over here!" It was raining very heavily today and you had chosen this very day to not take your car. Apparently Hyunjin had done the same thing, as both of you saw other close to the cafe a distance from your work. He didn't have an umbrella and you had spotted him running over in the direction of your work, blue hoodie gripped tightly over his head. "Did the universe have to choose the day I didn't get my car to rain?" He shouted at you as you both were shielded by your umbrella. "I was thinking the same thing!" You shouted back at him. "Let's get inside the cafe!"

The cafe thankfully wasn't crowded at all, and as you took off your coat and shoes to dry, you appreciated the heat coming from inside the cafe. It was on the more traditional side, with a wooden interior and sepia toned plants hidden in mud pots.

"Oh great." Hyunjin sighed. He was holding his phone is his hands, having taken off his hoodie and his shoes before you did and setting his bag down at a table for two. "Boss just texted. Work's cancelled for three days straight." "So we went through all that rain for nothing?" You deflated on the comfy chair, opposite Hyunjin, who was revealed to be wearing a dark blue shirt underneath his baby blue hoodie. "Well damn it. What do we do now? I didn't bring my car and neither did you. Do we have to wait out the storm here?" You asked him, wiping your face with a handkerchief. "Well we can." Hyunjin responded. "I think the owner will probably let us." You raised a brow at him at that statement while he just stared into space, as if expecting an alien to show up any moment. "How do you know the own-" "HWANG HYUNJIN YOU FINALLY DRAG YOUR ASS HERE TO SEE ME."

A very loud voice rang through the cafe, accompanied by a much quieter 'Hyunjin's here?'. Hyunjin groaned and buried his face in his hands, as a handsome man with olive skin, brown hair, and the prettiest nose ever, came striding up to your table, wearing the uniform of the cafe. He promptly pulled up a chair and collapsed onto it, next to Hyunjin, all the while playfully glaring at him. "Hey Minho hyung." Hyunjin mumbled, not looking directly at whoever this Minho was. The other man clicked his tongue out of disapproval and said, "Say that louder would ya? And why have you not been coming to visit me and emotional dump on me for like two weeks? Oh and who's this lovely young lady?" He looked into your eyes at that last bit, startling you a bit, at how round and black his eyes were, like tiny little boba balls. "I'm Y/N." You extended a hand forward. "L/N Y/N" Minho took your hand and shook it with a firm grip, before getting up and slightly bowing to you. "Well Miss Y/N, may I get you anything? Perhaps something which is not an Americano, which is what this monster" he motioned to Hyunjin "drinks?" You gave him a calculator look before saying, "Oh. Um I would like an americano actually and probably one for Hyunjin too please." Minho looked ever so slightly taken aback by your words. "As you wish!" He declared before giving Hyunjin and a smirk and leaving.

"So who was that?" You asked Hyunjin, whose ears were burning red. With a sigh, he put his elbows on the table, burrying his head in them.

"That was Lee Minho. A college mate of mine, who opened a cafe with a friend of his, soon after graduation, because apparently he didn't want to get into a boring job." He chuckled slightly at that. "He's a mentor to me. He's like I think two years older than me and he treats me like a damn baby. But it's fine cause I'm the one who helped him cheat on his exams so I get free shit here."

"Americano for two?" Oh hey Hyunjin!" A freckled boy had come up to your table, americano filled cups in his hand. His skin was porcelain, like glass, dotted with star like freckles, with blonde hair framing his beautiful face. "Hey Lix." Hyunjin patted the boy's back, as he set the coffee down on the table. "How's your mum now? Is the treatment working?" A smile never seemed to leave this boy's face, as he sat down in the chair which Minho had pulled up earlier. "She's good now. Much better! I've been sending her some brownies every now and then but she's still disappointed because apparently her son won't get a girlfriend." He slightly pouted as Hyunjin chuckled lightly. "Oh who's this? Wait are you-" the boy looked at you with excited eyes, before gasping and turning his head to Hyunjin. "Is this the Y/N you told me about?" He excitedly extended a hand towards you, which you took, experience pleasure at his soft grip and hands, which was in stark contrast to Minho's handshake. "I'm Felix! Lee Felix. Nice to meet you! Y/N right?" The amount of happiness radiating from this boy was so much that you thought he was probably the reincarnation of Helios himself. "Nice to meet you too Felix. I'd introduce myself, but judging from your excitement I believe Hyunjin's already told you about me." You gave him a smile, which he returned. "Yah Felix!" Minho's voice came from across the wooden walls. Felix groaned and got up from his chair saying goodbye to both of you and rushing off to Minho.

"They're really nice." You told Hyunjin, sipping on your americano. It was nice and weird to have people like you for who you are. It was kind of alien to you, to meet two people who knew about you. It was even more alien of Hyunjin to tell people about you. What could people tell about you? What fragments of your being attracted Hyunjin that he told his friends about your existence?

"Y/N are you ok?" Hyunjin's voice broke your mind from staring at the rain pouring outside. The storm had calmed down now and it was just lightly drizzling, drops staining the window, racing against each other. "Oh yes I'm good. Sorry."

"So you wanna talk about the notes or should we keep it a middle school secret?" Hyunjin's question rang across your brain, and as you sipped on your americano, you couldn't help but notice how innocent that question was. It was just a question. It wasn't an interrogative question, which you'd be punished for if you didn't answer. You fingers unconsciously went up to your wrists when you thought about that question. "What do you suggest? I'm alright with answering the question in person, instead of exchanging notes." You responded, keeping your tone casual, so as to not reveal the fast pace of your heart beat.

Hyunjin smiled at you and sipped on his americano again. "My favourite ice cream flavour is pistachio. And I also like listening to Lana del Rey and classical music. My turn now." He leaned forward slightly. "A song which you could listen to, for all eternity?" Musical questions were what you enjoyed the most, having being in love with music ever since your ears picked up the tune of twinkle twinkle little star. Hyunjin's question seemed hard, since your favourite song changed every few seconds and you couldn't just choose one melody to pleasure your ears for all of eternity. "Hmm" you responded after a while. "Probably Love by Lana Del Rey." "Why so?" Hyunjin asked.

"Because along with having an amazing tune and the greatest vocals ever," you started your lecture "It's also such a deep song. The way she is symbolising young love is so beautiful, from the way she alters her voice at certain lines to the lyrics themselves. I especially fell in love with the chorus because it signifies such a beautiful matter of being so much in love that even the tiniest actions can seem like elephantine gestures. Even that lyric 'The world is yours and you can't refuse it' it's so pretty. It's symbolising that feeling of ruling the world when you fall in love. Or atleast I think it does. I've never fell in love so."

You fell quiet after your rambling, hoping that it didn't freak him out how much you knew about one particular song, which you definetly did not write an entire essay about. L/n Y/n you've done it again. You've scared a person off because of your rambling about your hyperfixation because you have nothing else to love. Great job, you thought.

But as you looked over at Hyunjin's face, it was happy? His eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted as if thinking what to say, his americano straw remained in his mouth, but he wasn't sipping on it. He was in total awe, something you couldn't see.

"That- that was amazing." He said after a pregnant silence. "I never thought about songs that way honestly. But I think from now on I'll start thinking of it like that." God his smile was so handsome. The way the corners of his mouth stretched and the way his lips always slightly parted, it was all so pretty. And since when have you became so observant? To notice a man's manner of smiling?

Aphrodite smiled again in the clouds, calling for her chariot, to take a ride across the sky, making up the next step of her masterplan.

It was still pitter-pattering outside the window as both of you finished your drinks. You declined Minho's offer to eat, since you had already ate a lot for breakfast and you weren't feeling hungry. You tasted a bit of Felix's brownies, for which you complemented the freckled boy so mich to point where his glass skin turned into stained red glass.

"God the rain is stopping, how the hell are we going to get home?" Hyunjin sighed, as he meant back in his chair. You both had put your shoes, hoodie and coat back on and were staring out the window. You had an idea in your mind. A peculiar idea. An idea unlike you. An idea made by your heart controlled mind. You know how they say that we should never let our heart control our brain? Well sometimes, just sometimes, in the tiniest moments, we could let it control our being just a little bit.

"Doyouwanttocomeovertomyhouseitsreallycloseby" "I beg your pardon?" Oh great you spoke the easiest sentence in the fastest way you could possibly imagine. You should probably get the Nobel Prize for the most awkward person ever. Taking a deep breath, you made eye contact with Hyunjin (perhaps for the first time) and said, "Would you like to come over to my house? It's close by and I can drop you off at your house if I get my car." Hyunjin looked slightly taken aback by your suggestion, and as he pondered over it with a series of 'ohs' and 'ums', you mentally scolded yourself. How could you never say the right thing ever? How did you manage to say the wrong thing every single time? How did you manage to scare off every person every single time? Were you really not capable of love? Was your mother really right?

"If I don't impose Y/N, I would like to come over to your house. I should actually probably get going home too, so I accept your offer, only if it doesn't bother you." Your heart lifted from where it was earlier. Listening to the words coming out of Hyunjin's mouth in the soft tone, was something so comforting to you. It was like the smell of old books, like the way flowers moved in the wind, like the way wine swirled in a wine glass and like the way melodies danced to the beat of a song.

"This is your house?" You and Hyunjin had walked all the way to your house, shielded by his umbrella. It was safe to say that your house was a very luxurious one, in the more expensive side, courtesy to your high profile job. It was a two bedroom house, with the most beautiful terrace and balcony anyone had ever seen, which gave a view of the Seoul skyline. "It's beautiful." Hyunjin breathed out. "Come inside." You said, taking off your shoes at the entrance and unlocking the wooden door. "Want some food?" Hyunjin shook his head as both of you entered your house, his mouth dropping on seeing the interior. You had a conversation pit inside your house, much like one of those 80's sitcoms, and it was the most queer thing in your house. It was purple and magenta, with white finishings and a pretty carpet, sitting below a glass table. "It seems the interior is much prettier than the exterior." Hyunjin said, as you both entered the pit, sitting down. You sheepishly smiled and mumbled a thank you, before getting up to get him some water, even though you both had downed a big cup of americano.

"Your books are really interesting." You had started showing Hyunjin around your house, and when you reached the library portion, he wouldn't move from there. Granted, you did have a pretty library, decorated with fake moss and hanging vines, which made it look like a shelf growing out of the forest. "What is so interesting about them?" You asked him as he stroked the book covers with his fingers, to which he smiled and pointed to the last two books. "Their arrangment is fascinating first of all. I mean The Animal Farm and Pride and Prejudice are sitting together, as if going for a tea party. Did you arrange them yourself?" You only nodded to his question, too scared to answer. "The second interesting thing about this bookshelf is that all the books are so dual to each other. You have Harry Potter-" he pointed to the topmost shelf, "then you have 1984-" his fingers went to a handsome leather book, "and then finally you have a pop up children'd book." He laughed pointing to the bottom most shelf, where a glittery pink book lie. You blushed, as you saw that book. It was the book, which your best friend at the orphanage had given to you, before she was taken away. You cherished it a lot, it being the only form of love you had ever recieved in your life. "Woah you have Taylor Caldwell too!" Hyunjin said, excitedly, his fingers bouncing on the shelf closest to him, where a series of faded books lie. "Do you want them perhaps?" You asked him, to which he gave you a sad smile. "I've always loved her since the age of eleven but I could never buy any of her books, courtesy to my mum thinking they're too 'westernised'." "You can take some if you want. I hardly ever read these ones." You pulled out some of the books and put them in his hands. He looked surprised and his eyes widened at you. After much trial and error, which included him refusing to take the books, and you threatening to leave him out in the rain if he didn't take them, he finally stuffed then into his bag, thanking you over and over again.

The car ride to his home was fun, to say the least. Hyunjin narrated some funny stories with Minho and Felix, and a few of his other friends. You were shocked to find out that he used to be in a band, where he played the drums. "You must play them for me one day." You said, as you pulled up to a light. "as payback for the books." Hyunjin gave you that sweet smile again, causing your brain to malfunction.

"Thank you for the ride home Y/N. And for the books." Hyunjin said as you both pulled up to his house. "Say I have a question." He said, before unbuckling his seatbelt (drive safely kids). "Would you ever be interested in spending your lunch break with me everyday? Cause I really like talking to you and I don't have many friends at work. Only if you want to though!" God he was so adorable with those round eyes and those cute cheeks. Was he actually so cute or was your hopeless brain just making it up?

Aphrodite sighed again as she watched you silently from the bushes, happy that you were going on the right path, but worried about the trajectory of your mind.

Spending time with Hyunjin were the best moments of your life. It was surprisingly fun to spend a part of your day everyday with Hyunjin. It was just lunch and americanos, fresh from Minho's cafe, since it was the only one you liked now. You warmed up to him more than you had wanted to, and for the first time, your brain didn't mind being ruled by your heart. Hyunjin had introduced you to some of his closest friend, who came to visit him at work, making sure he didn't overwork himself. And he had interesting friends. Apart from Minho and Felix, there was a producer group called 3Racha who wrote songs for a company called JYP. It was composed of the three most kindest people you had ever met. Jisung, Changbin and Chan treated you like their own sister, often picking up an Americano for you whenever they got one for Hyunjin. You met Hyunjin's youngest friends Seungmin and Jeongin at Minho's cafe, when Jeongin bumped into your shoulder, dropping his books and apologizing to you frantically. Both of them were University students, one having a pottery studio and the other studying computer science. They were mischievous little things, but you loved them too, with you sharing Seungmin's love for pottery and Jeongin's hatred for sugary foods. It was so fun, having friends, even if they weren't your friends from the beginning. This was the first time you had experienced happiness ever since you were eight.

The words on your books weren't skimmed over by your eyes anymore. Instead they were carefully taken in, word by word, appreciating how every letter formed the beautiful sentence. Now, winter wasn't about surviving anymore. Instead it was about being warm and cosy, all wrapped up in a big blanket, hugging a plushie and drinking hot chocolate as pretty winter flakes poured outside the window. Now you digged out the sundresses you haven't worn in so long, and you would wear them to work every now and then, catching the eyes of every person you passed (because you are the most beautiful person on earth LOVE YOURSELF I LOVE YOU). You never noticed it, but now, Hyunjin looked at you differently. He wasn't a very defensive person, choosing to end arguments quickly, but whenever his eyes set upon your figure dancing in a yellow sundress, embroidered with flowers, he swore that he would burn done the entire world for you. Both of you regularly met up at each other's house, having k drama nights, where you would do nothing but cry over the slow burn, and try out a new snack from the local convenience store every time. Sometimes Hyunjin would play the drums for you, taking your excited requests of the 70's and 80's rock songs. It was all so perfect, having Hyunjin in your life and every time you saw him moving his own across a piece of paper, whipping up a cartoon for you as a gift, your heart smiled, urging you to let it take over for just a little longer.

But Aphrodite had something else in plan.

Sometimes the Gods plan sinister things for humans. Sometimes they say 'lets whip up conflict'. And most often it's not between one human and another. Most often it's between a human and her own mind. You had gotten a call on a nice Thursday morning, when you were about to set out for work, clad in a white dress, which reached your knees. A call from your adoptive parents. Unbeknownst to the entire world, behind your pretty face, you hid a grief filled secret behind those glassy eyes. Your childhood wasn't all sunshines and rainbows. You had grown up in an orphanage basically your entire life, and at the tender age of eleven, you had gotten adopted by a rich couple. Good right? Nope it was the polar opposite. Turns out they had adopted you for their own benefit, to gain support from the media to continue their company or some bullshit like that. It had haunted you all your life, how they would never speak a word to you, never a word of affection. It was just words of 'who would ever love you?' and 'you aren't capable of love'. When you had gotten accepted in college, with a full ride scholarship, they had help a party, not for you, but to brag that their daughter, whom they did not even love, had gotten into a college all by herself. They had turned their devil tails into angel wings and it angered you, but you stayed silent. Why should you fight battles with other people when you could fight a battle with your own mind? You had cut off all communications with them however as soon as you left for college. Now it was just you and the world. Getting a job was the hardest thing and you still remember all those days that you survived on water and biscuits, like Marie Curie, when she used to research on radioactivity. You had learnt that your 'parents's' buisness had gone bankrupt, soon after you had gotten a job, but they still hadn't ever contacted you until this Thursday. It was Seungmin's birthday today and you had gotten him a puppy keychain, one that he had been wanting for a long time, which he had told you about in secret. You had purchased it the day before and wrapped it up in a cute box, writing some notes on the top. It was supposed to be the most perfect day. Happiness and melted ice cream that was what this day was supposed to be.

"Hello?" You had picked up your mother's call and your world came crashing down immediately. "Hey there Y/N. We need some money right now and we know you work for Mr Kim. Send us some money please." Not even a hello. The woman who had given you food and shelter didn't even say a hello. The woman who you owed nothing to didn't even say hello.

Hyunjin wondered where you were that day. You wouldn't ever miss a day of work and plus you were excited for Seungmin's birthday. You were going to go for a birthday party which was to be held at Chan's house. Hyunjin had told you that most of the boys would be bringing their girlfriends so you could meet them. You wouldn't never have missed this, especially not when your eyes lit up, when he had told you that Seungmin would be singing for you guys and Minho would be bringing his famous meat. So why? Why was your chair lying all alone and your americano untouched? He had asked Mr Kim whether you had called him today, to which he got disappointment when Mr Kim said no. Your boss didn't really care whether or not you took breaks, since you mostly finished your work in advance, in order to save time. That day Hyunjin told the guys, that he wouldn't be coming to the party, much to their disappointment. But they understood when he said that he was worried for you. He basically talked about you 24/7 and the boys still didn't understand how their most romantic friend ever ended up not knowing what love was.

Hyunjin had an extra key to your house, which you had given him after two months of knowing him, trusting him enough to keep an emergency contact. Hyunjin kept fiddling with it on the cab ride to your place, massaging his nerves to calm himself down. As he reached your house, the atmosphere around him changed. It became gloomy, even when the Sun attacked him with his rays. The sunflowers in your garden all seemed to bow their heads to him, as if to apologise.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin stepped inside your house, calling your name. "Y/N where are you?" He shouted a little louder this time. If you weren't in the living room, you'd be up in your bedroom or the library. Hyunjin slowly climbed up the stairs to the second floor, taking in the eerie silence of the house. It was such a loud silence. He could hear something in the distance but he didn't know what it was. Was it a cat? He heard a wailing noise that sounded something like a wolf crying.

The door to your bedroom was open. Hyunjin stepped inside, careful not to make a sound. He knew how creepy this was, to enter a person's house like this, but he didn't have a choice. "Y/N?" He called out, noticing the light in your bathroom switched on. "Y/N!" You were sitting on the floor, with a knife next to you. Your hair was in tangles and your body swayed back and forth, As you kept mumbling something to yourself. Your upper arm was slightly bleeding and your breathing was heavy. You had been lying there for the entire morning. You were still in your dress,which was now stained with blood from your arm. Your face was tear stained and your eyes were glassy. "Y/n. Hey look at me. Look at me. I'm here." You looked up to see Hyunjin's worried face, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted again. "Hyunjin?" You breathed out in a weak voice, which made Hyunjin's heart drop to his knees. "Yes it's me. Hey breathe. Please breathe for me." He coached you through breathing in and out, which calmed you down a bit, but you were still shivering and your skin was ice cold and white. You looked like a ghost. A ghost with sunken eyes and shocked expression stuck on its face.

Hyunjin carefully lifted you up and carried you to your bed, careful not to disturb your injury, which he immediately knew how it happened, from the knife lying beside you. He got some cloth and medicine for you from the first aid kit you hid under your bed, something you had told him a long time ago. You watched him with wide eyes as he carefully dressed your wound and got some water for you, forcing you to drink it.

"What happened? And it's ok if you don't wanna tell me." He sat beside you as you leant back against the bed frame. You tried not to catch his eye because you knew if you looked into those galaxies inside his eyes, you would start weeping. "Nothing happened Hyunjin." You mumbled, to which he scoffed silently, getting his hand up to your forehead to check your temperature. It was normal, thankfully you didn't have a fever. "Y/n" he faced you and out his hand on yours. "You know you can tell me right? I'm here for you and I'm worried. Please tell me what happened." It all happened so quickly. You looked into his eyes, taking in the stars inside of them, and you couldn't hold it back anymore as you burst out crying. Hyunjin was quick to hug you, holding your head gently as you buried yourself deeper in his chest, staining his grey shirt. His heart was breaking into a milion pieces, seeing his universe crying out her planets from her eyes. He shushed you from time to time, to make sure you don't become weak from crying.

"Y/N hey hey." He held you head in his hands, cupping your cheeks. "What's wrong? Just one word. Tell me one word. I beg you." You sniffled slightly and looked up at him, stopping you're tears slowly. You felt guilty, for him coming to you. Why should he? He's a human like you and he has responsibilities too and he should tend to them, not you. "Hyunjin, you should go. Y-you have S-Seungmin's party to attend. I'll be fine." Hyunjin knew how much you rejected being taken care of. Care was was word which simply never existed in your dictionary, courtesy to your past.

"Y/N-" "No Hyunjin!" You lashed out at him, tears brewing again in your eyes. Hyunjin now understood why the sunflowers outside had bowed to him, and why the aura was grey today. You had bottled up your feelings again, and one single word from a person of your past, was enough to break you. "I don't want help I don't need it! Just leave me alone! I don't want to be around you!" You panted a bit after shouting all that, your chest feeling heavy, not from the weight of your exhaustion, but from the weight of the entire world around you "Get out. Now."

The next few days, you came back to work, you avoided Hyunjin. You couldn't bear to look at his face, knowing that the stars in your eyes will collapse again if you do. You both worked in complete silence, with Hyunjin silently putting the completed illustrations in your desk, whenever you left to go to the bathroom. You now left at 9 am, instead of your usual 10 am along with Hyunjin. Your americanos seemed even more bitter now that you had no one to share your memories with. Every song in the world sounded like the same mundane melody now, chords repeating over and over again.

But Aphrodite always have something in plan, for souls like yours and Hyunjin's.

Hyunjin had been comforted by his friends for a week now. Every week, he would turn up at either Felix or Chan's house and cry to them. It broke their hearts to see their dearest friend weep and sob over you. You, on the other hand, would sometimes turn up to Minho, drinking his americano and venting your feelings, while he silently grilled his meat and put it on your plate. What you didn't know was that Hyunjin would be hiding silently behind the counter, listening to the notes of your voice talk about him. So one fine Saturday morning, he decided to do something. Something that would finally satisfy Aphrodite, and make her drop her roses down to earth to celebrate.

"Y/N." He called your name as you focused on your most recent article. "Y/N." He said again, when you didn't respond. "Y/N for Pete's sake, talk to me!" He basically shouted at you. You were staying back late tonight, courtesy to the hundreds of things you had to edit, due to your numerous amount of holidays. "Not now Hyunjin. I have to edit this." You spoke sternly, abandoning the fun filled voice you usually used when you were with him.

Hyunjin frowned at you, this time an actual frown, not like the playful ones he did when you would steal his meat from his plate. He was angry. He was angry at the world and at your mind for not treating you well. He was angry at your past, for making you believe that you were unworthy of love. He was furious and he would take it out right now, when no one except for you two were in the office building.

"Y/N listen to me!" He shouted, making you startled. You had gotten up from your seat and now you were cowering against a wall. You had never seen Hyunjin like this before, eyes narrowed and lips closed, burning anger seeping through them.

"Y/N you are quite possibly the most amazing person I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my stupid life. The way you walk the way you talk, everything about you is so amazing! It's so magnificent to me, how everyday you would explain the meaning behind a song, with your eyes all widened and your mouth moving fast! And it hurts me. It hurts me so much to see you like this, thinking that you are unworthy of love." His words were hitting you like bowling balls. "When you told me about your past, you know what I felt? I felt anger. True anger for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life, I wanted to burn down this entire world for a person. I was also so relieved that you trusted me enough to tell me about something like this. You really think I can't see the scars on your wrist through your foundation?" The scars on your wrist. How did he know about that? "Hyunjin-" you breathed out, crystals forming in your eyes again. "Y/N it breaks me. It breaks me so much to have a person like you in my life and not love them. I love you more than you can imagine. So why won't you accept it?"

"Because I can't!" The words spilled from your mouth like water spilling from a waterfall. "I can't Hyunjin! I don't know what love feels like! I never did! An-and when you came into my life and introduce me to all these amazing people, I felt so happy! For the first time in this dumb thing I call my life I felt happy. And I hated it! I hated the way Felix's eyes would light up every time he saw me. I hated the way Chan would always check up on me, making sure I don't overwork myself. I hated the way Minho would treat me like his own family, making sure I got the biggest portions of meat." Everything that you had kept hidden in that crack of your soul came running out. "I hated the way Jeongin looks up to me, telling me he admires the way I work! And you know what I hate the most out of all? I hate you! I hate the way you care so much for me and my stupid brain can't see it! The way you draw little cartoons on my americanos, the way you talk to me as if you were talking to a gentle lamb! I hate it Hyunjin! I hate myself for not seeing how much you love me! And I hate that I can't return the favour!"

Your knees gave way and you collapsed on the floor, sobbing your eyes out. Hyunjin was quick to kneel down next to you, hands searching for yours. Both of you looked into each other's eyes, seeing your entire universe's inside of them. You need love. You needed love to exist. And Hyunjin was there just to do that.

He leaned closer to you, eyes not leaving yours. He knew he had to do it now. Now or never right? Hyunjin, cupped your cheek with his left hand, right one still squeezing yours, and kissed you. He kissed you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world. He kissed you as if you were the reincarnation of his last lover. He kissed you as if he had been wanting to kiss you for the last fifteen years. He kissed you, and you kissed him back. Your lips moved in sync with his, not moving away, hands wrapped safely around each other, both of you shielded from whatever the world was planning next. Time moved slowly again, as if the spinners of time had abandoned their looms to come watch you two.

And somewhere in the clouds, Aphrodite smiled, knowing that her mission was complete, and that two loveless souls had finally reunited, mending each other's cracks, slowly but surely.

Epilouge

"Hyunjin! We're going to be late! Hurry your ass!" You called out to your boyfriend of five years, as you waited by the door, bag clutched in hand, and white sundress flowing softly. The ash coloured cat you had both adopted, rubbed against your legs, purring and licking herself. Hyunjin had organised a 'special' date today, taking you to one of your most favourite places, a meadow by the beach, where you used to spend your days. It was already late in tbe evening, when Hyunjin finally came down from the steps of your house, still fixing his hair. "Alright Miss Universe, stop fixing your hair and come on!" You said, causing him to giggle, as both of you got in the car and drove off towards the sunset.

"God I love this place so much." You stretched your arms as you watched the dying sun, collapse into the ocean. "More than me?" Hyunjin pouted, as you slapped his chest playfully. "Oh god are those Minho's Macarons? These things are drugs to me." Both of you took a Macaron each, and raised them in the air, as if to make a toast. "Well, to our five year anniversary." Hyunjin toasted while you said 'hear hear!'.

"Y/N, I have a gift for you." You both had eaten all your food and we're slightly leaning against a tree, wrapped in each other's warmth. "What is it Hyun?" Hyunjin pulled out a paper from his pocket. A link sticky note. With Purple glitter pen scribbled on it.

Marry me Y/N?

"I thought I should do it in the way we first talked to each other. You know to make it more roma-" Hyunjin didn't get to complete his sentence, as you threw yourself around him, kissing him on his lips, as if you didn't kiss him every single day.

And Aphrodite couldn't stop giggling and smiling, knowing that now, love existed. And you? Oh you loved the existence of love.

#hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #skz hyunjjn #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #hyunjin comfort #skz fic #hyunjin fic #hwang hyunjin comfort #hwang hyunjin fluff #skz #stray kids #skz comfort #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #FINALLY I GOT THIS DONE #oh my god this took so much time to write #bye bye now #have fun reading

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ventique18 · 1 year

Text

Dreamlike

Malleus x Yuu♀️ (nameless) short one shot.

⚠️ Suggestive warning!

It's a hot summer. For Lilia, summer always makes him think of very specific things: beaches, watermelons, swimsuits. It's the perfect time to enjoy one's youth. Now, he's not actually young anymore to be bothered by such frivolities, but he is bothered anyway. It's because his young master, who is quite literally young and should, indeed, enjoy his youth, is instead spending time cooped up in his musty old library and eating nuts instead of watermelons or mangoes or coconuts.

That simply won't do. So, with the power vested in him as the boy's guardian, he manages to forc--convince him to join a youth summer camp.

Malleus Draconia isn't particularly pleased. But since he's getting bored of the same tomes and scriptures anyway (the scheduled procurement of new books isn't until a few months more), he accepts and uses it as an excuse to loiter around the mountains by his lonesome.

Until one night he isn't quite alone. He isn't sure if it's good or bad fortune, but for the first time in his traditionalist life, he experiences something truly shocking.

He walks in on a woman bathing. In a river, by the forest. Completely, utterly, naked. He watches her a second too long, he's ashamed to confess.

"Like what you're seeing?"

That snaps him back to reality. Flustered, he blinks and his mouth babbles and his hands shift in many different combinations of poses that he dreads the woman might think he's performing an odd sort of avian mating dance.

"No," He speaks quickly, "What I mean is, please do not misunderstand and think that I find you foul or, unattractive. I don't. I do think you're rather fascinating. But it's not that I'm watching you deliberately, goodness no. Please do not be afraid as I do not plan on doing anything more than look. I mean,"

He sucks in a sharp breath. He's not making any rational sense, and he's sounding like a creep, "I am merely curious."

For all his attempts at sincerity, he's failing horribly as he just cannot take his eyes off her.

But she laughs, and with a shake of her head, asks him playfully, "Alright stranger, can you hand me my towel?"

He does, and he almost stumbles from how shaken he is from this whole ordeal.

Much to his surprise, the woman does not think badly of him at all. She, in fact, asks him to come back tomorrow night. Same place, same time. Now, he's no fool and knows better than to fall for such suspicious traps, so he ignores her request and walks through a different trail the following night.

... Until he circles back and finds his feet perching on a familiar stony path; soles drenched and socks dampened by the moonlit water.

There she is, swaying languidly in the clear river. He can fully see every inch and curve of her alluring body, yet she does not bother to hide herself nor reprimand him for his obviously captivated gaze. And whether by pure curiosity or something else entirely, he finds himself wading through the waters and towards her, when she smiles and gestures for him to come a bit closer.

Nothing much happens that night, except for her asking what kind of flower he likes. He answers and asks her in turn if she likes berries, and if she prefers strawberries or blueberries or any other berry. What's your favorite color? Do you take care of any pet? As odd as the situation is, he catches himself looking less and less at the soft slopes of her womanly body and more on the tugs of emotions at the corners of her mouth.

He finds himself visiting her again the following nights. They talk about anything and everything, and very soon he thinks she knows more about him than anyone else he's ever met in his life. He finds comfort in her, and he wonders if she feels the same. He becomes a bit confident that she does, when she asks to touch him a week later.

For the first time in his life, he undresses in front of another not to dress up, but to... simply undress. He cannot fathom what comes over him. But he lets her roam his body, from the tips of his fingers to the ridges of his peculiar horns. From the slope of his nose to the dip of his hip. She stops before she can cross the boundary of appropriate and inappropriate (though one can argue their circumstance is not a very usual one), but rather than taking a step back, she moves forward and asks him,

"Would you like to touch me too?"

He does not reply. He cannot think. And when the head refuses to function any more, it's the heart that takes over the body. He cannot hear anything but the loud thumping of his chest, but he nervously perseveres and places a palm upon her left breast.

Thump, thump, thump.

Is that the blood that runs through his veins, or is that her heart resonating with his, through the red that dusts her cheeks and the fingers that shakily reaches for his own?

Thump, thump, thump.

He doesn't know. He cannot think. Not when her smaller hands intertwine against his much larger ones. Not when her legs coil around his waist, arms wrapping tightly around his back and nails sinking deep across the skin above his spine. Not when his mind is occupied with the soft enamor of her thighs, his fingers squeezing her tightly as he pushes and pulls her against himself; sinful sweat washed away by the unsullied waters.

What a terrifying feeling. He's never felt so out of control. He knows not what he's doing, he has nothing planned out in his head. All he has is this strange electricity coursing through him-- a magnet that draws him to her. He doesn't want to let go. He cannot let go. Not even when a wave of ecstasy crashes through his entire body and threatens to knock him out cold. Not even when they settle on his lodgings and bury themselves in the warmth of sheets and blankets.

Even then, he buries himself in her warmth.

So when he wakes up to find her nowhere to be seen-- not in bed, not in his immediate surroundings-- he no longer feels out of control. He is not in control. The trip has come to an end, and so did his dreamlike encounter.

Only the wanton marks left on his skin are proof that it was, in fact, not a dream.

---

"Malleus, cheer up a bit, why don't you? You wouldn't want to scare your... let me check my notes... Ah yes, your 57th potential wife away, no?"

"And it's the 50th time I am telling you this: no one would ever want to waste an hour with me. Much less a lifetime. You would think the first seven were proof enough."

"Don't you say that! You're a handsome young man, if you would just learn to smile--"

"Enough, Lilia. This is the last time. If this still doesn't work out, I would rather let my bloodline die with me than suffer through any more humiliation."

*click* *creak*

"Hi there, stranger."

"..."

"Like what you're seeing?"

"... You have a lot of nerve, standing me up like that. And suddenly you show up-- out of nowhere-- with a cheeky little smile? This audacity calls for a fitting punishment, don't you think?"

"Ohh, scary. I like it. Lay it on me. Or would you prefer it in me?"

"Witch. You deserve a life sentence. Lilia, take out the marriage papers."

💖💖💖💖

Notes: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE PARAGRAPH LMAOOO! I just wanted to share that I like cheesy cliche stories with a bit of sensual flavor and was just gonna share a rough plot. Somehow it turned into a short fanfic HAHAHA

I really really like the thought of Malleus catching Yuu bathing and doesn't really do anything to hide his interest. He's an honest man. It's a staple in any of the MalleYuu AUs in my brain.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twst fanfic

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spdrvyn · 9 months

Note

do you think you'll be writing a part 3 to "i'll be lonely with you" ?? 👀 it's so good and i am invested

let's be lonely together — MIGUEL O'HARA

☆ there seems to be a spark growing between you and miguel, and you're forced to confront it when a heavy obstacle blocks your path.

minor angst. fluff. hurt/comfort. injuries. gn!reader. changed the formatting because it felt a little too clunky, hope you guys enjoy this one. school just started for me so i'll be getting a little busy T_T like the other "parts" in this, it can be read as stand alone.

You were absolutely mortified when you heard the news.

Miguel getting injured was a rare phenomenon that you'd only ever see in your nightmares, however the multiverse would always find a way to make those dreaded dreams of yours become a reality.

You'd refused to believe at first, standing as still as a mannequin once Jess had informed you, but that realization had finally sunk in. Miguel was hurt, and you were away while it happened.

From what you've gathered, he got impaled. It wasn't in any fatal areas, but it's a gut-twisting incident nonetheless. You shuddered just thinking of Miguel covered in blood, but to think that a spear, a sharp piece of metal, a blade piercing through and sticking out of Miguel's side left you unsettled.

Of course, your first instinct was to visit him. No second thoughts.

God, even as you paced hurriedly to the infirmary which was all the way across headquarters, your mind ran like a coding sequence. Trying to compute what to even say once you see him.

Being too forward and asking questions straight away might get him overwhelmed, he is frail and you certainly don't need to weigh down on him even more. Yet, you also want to show him that you care, but how do you do that without confessing your feelings for him?

Oh, right. Your feelings for him.

Cross your heart and hope to die, it started out as a small crush. Very miniscule, very minute, but who could blame you? You hadn't been around for as long as Peter B., Ben, let alone Jess, but he was more than okay with your company. You considered that to be a great achievement, but you celebrated too hard on your newfound friendship. Letting it fester in your heart, boiling for more.

You had tried to embrace delusion, you had tried to be content in the illusion of simply being friends, however guilt crept up on you at every single possibility. Maybe you could push down your feelings, stay in denial, but it would be a wasted effort.

It was the little things. The ghost of a smile that you would see forming on his lips whenever you talked about your interests or practically anything not work-related, the way that his eyes relaxed whenever you came into sight, how he ran his hand through his hair during the times it had fallen unkempt to fix himself up just for you.

Although it wasn't just you who noticed his tiny habits, Miguel was ever the observant type as well. During conversations, he'd occasionally interrupt you with a detail from a discussion that you two had three months ago. You wouldn't be surprised if he knew bullshit like your mother's maiden name.

This showed up in presents too. When you just happened to be hungry, Miguel had pulled out a small box, well as small as it could get when in his hands, and handed it you. Once you'd open it, you were met with the smell of your favorite fast food place.

Even with the snarky comments about how he could easily replicate it with the ingredients he had at home, there was no ignoring the absolutely smitten smile that he wore as he watched you eat. Content, happy, and most of all: full.

You'd missed it, all of it. The adrenaline in your veins raced like a runner on a track, hand shaky as you raised it to knock on the door of his medical room. Sweat gathered at your forehead, you held your breath as it threatened to collapse. You knew had to do this.

Three knocks was all you needed, but before you could even get to the third rap, Miguel's voice spoke from inside. "Come in," it was low, but not menacing like it usually was. He no longer spoke like he was commanding a room, getting your undivided attention, low from the bottom of his heart with every word serving a purpose.

No. Right now? He spoke like he'd fallen into the pavement, instead trying to divert your attention, low from the deep pit of shame and embarrassment that he dug himself into.

Once you'd entered, Miguel looked just as sad as you thought he'd looked. Even if he still adorned the suit that made him particularly stand out from every other spider-person running in and out of this place, the suit that served as his captain's hat, the freshly patched wounds shined through it all.

"Miguel," You spoke, voice hushed as you rushed to his side. He flinches when you slam the door shut behind you before you grip the railings of his 'hospital' bed. "What even happened?"

Your eyes ran over his body, observing how the molecular fabric of his suit glitched and stuttered, the same way a TV would look if you pressed your hand against the screen too hard.

You wanted to get a good look of his injuries, to check for any sign of what the full story was, but before you could do more, Miguel brings the covers over the entire lower half of his body, including the surface of his abdomen. Looking away shamefully.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," He grumbles and you could barely even hear it, his words tore your heart apart piece by piece. Did he not trust you? Were your efforts to see something more in him for naught? "Why are you here?"

"Why else do you think I'm here, Miguel?"

The truth was that you weren't even mad at him, just disappointed. Numbers were too finite to count the amount of times you've limped into Miguel's office with a brand new injury from a mission, the amount of times you've explained to him that you'd go straight to the infirmary after, the amount of times he's demanded that you sit down as he patches up your wounds while you report said mission to him.

Yet he was this ashamed to act so vulnerable in front of you, while you've looked even weaker in the past? It made you think, it really did. "I feel like you owe me some explanation, don't you?" You insisted, but he just shook his head.

"There's more important things to attend to right now," He begins, and it makes the blood pumping in your heart freeze over. "It's really not that big of a deal, it'll pass in a day, I promise." Lies. All of it.

The frigidity of his words seeped from your chest down to your very fingertips, the steel railing of his bed practically turning to ice as the realization sunk in. He didn't want you to see him like this. He didn't trust you enough to see him like this.

But why?

You wondered. So you asked him.

"I just don't get it." One of your hands lets go of bars that way you could smooth your hair, probably the only not messy part about you right now. "I thought I was doing everything right, and it's still not enough, is it?"

Miguel's face falls, the tense pout that he wore like a jacket being ripped to shreds as you further rambled. "Why are you shutting me out like this? What did I do wrong?" Fragile, delicate, creaking and cracking, all while on the verge of breaking.

Was it your voice? Your tears? Your composure? No, everything. It was as if he had you in a chokehold, a slight pressure, and you could shatter in an instant. Your head immediately tilted down, facing the floor. You prayed, prayed, and prayed that he wouldn't take notice of the crystalline drops that fell from your eyes.

But Miguel can't even bring himself to say anything and he hates himself for it, don't get him wrong though, he has so many thoughts, he's had so many thoughts about you. He felt like such an idiot for not saying them to you before, but he'd feel like even more of an idiot if he said them right now.

That was mostly the self-defense talking, just look at you. Sure, he was the dumbass injured on the hospital bed, but you were an entirely different kind of pitiful. The strength that he'd built over the past year, to hurdle obstacles both physically and mentally, to be a leader, yet he couldn't even undo the repression of the feelings that he so coldly locked away.

He wanted to try though. For you.

"It's— it's not for the reasons you think, okay?" Miguel stuttered, how he wanted you to look up that way he could wipe your tears, hush and reassure you, but he couldn't. Not in this moment at least. "I'm an idiot, I really am."

Now, that made you redirect your attention. A rarity it was to witness the proclaimed genius, leader of hundreds of Spider-people, to call himself fucking stupid. Your eyes were dry, but the puffiness of your lids said all it needed to.

Miguel's face scrunches up a little, he had to be vulnerable, it was the least of many things that he owed you. "I just think you're too good for me sometimes," He sighs,

leaning back against the pillow behind him. Gazing distantly into the small corner of darkness in the room, "Not sometimes. A lot of the time. Everyday."

A wave of warmth crashes over your chest, coursing through your icy veins as Miguel further digs himself into this hole. A hole that he'd most likely die in. "You're just so— so you, you know?"

He denotes your perplexed face and sucks in a sharp breath, bringing a hand out to rub the wrinkles on his forehead. "Fuck, just give me a second to think." He huffs in annoyance, there were often times where Miguel would be able to explain the full extent of canon evemts with no breaks in between when it came to something as simple as saying I like like you, he was more than clueless.

"I've seen this place come to fruition ever since I could even begin to fathom multiverse travel," He starts, Miguel had normally upkept the habit of keeping eye contact with those he spoke with, but right now he wanted nothing more than to keep looking away from you. "A year. A whole year."

Miguel was smart, that he could say with confidence. He was able to build machines that allowed him access to scientific discoveries that nobody else could attain, the same machines that are the foundation of everything he's built.

However, it all really boiled down to the people. Each individual that he's recruited is special, he can't deny that. Their origins are the same, maybe their suffering alike, but it comes down to the soul, the core of their being. There's a specialty in every Spider-person that he's walked by in these hallowed halls.

Even after all of that, he just couldn't comprehend it. After seeing all of them get knocked down by the cruel humor of the multiverse, only to get back up and to keep preserving, he hasn't made a single realconnection.

"You come in only a few months ago and it seems like everybody knows your name, knows who you are, your smile." Miguel talked and talked and talked, like you weren't even in the room. Like how he did whenever he'd come back to his office from a mission, a mission with you and Lyla would beg him for the details.

"Yet, even when there's so many better versions of Spider-Man out there, more charming and more... likeable," Finally, finally he turns his head back to face you, trying to fight back the shame that makes him want to just shut the hell up.

"You chose me." How could he even call himself a genius after all of this?

One of Miguel's worst fears nowadays was you being in his place, possibly worse. Dead on the dark floor an alleyway in some distant dimension, that idea terrified him a lot. He almost thought he killed you himself when you only seemed to just— stare at him, lips slightly parted and the only reassurance he received that you were still with him in this realm was the slow rise and fall of your chest.

If this was how you felt everytime you had a personal discussion with him, he completely understood if you'd leave this room hating his guts. As each second passes at a snail's pace, that pit of anxiousness grows and grows until—

"Miguel," It's a single word, his name, his calling; the way you say it though, it makes his heart drop below freezer temperature. "Is that really what you think of yourself?"

Huh?

"Here I thought that you were pissed at me this whole time," A dry, but short chuckle leaves your throat. The remnants of your sobs and previous cries still present in the way you spoke. "I don't hang around you just for some extra validation or because you're the boss, I stand you because I actually like you?"

What?

"Have you actually never considered that? That I wanted to know you past a work basis?" You almost find the utter shock on his face humorous if it weren't how ridiculous his mindset was, how stupid he truly was.

"I mean— I didn't—" Whatever was left of your tears seemed to dry out watching him like this, tripping and falling over his words. The walls that he so desperately tried to build up crumbling before you into pieces, these pieces that you'd admire and care for. "Fuck, I'm no good at this."

"Yeah, I can see that." All the worries that you've held so close to your heart were slowly starting to be ebbed away by the what he'd just said, maybe you were afraid, but he was to. "I can do the rest of the talking now."

Even if he didn't make a single movement, you could tell that he agreed with you.

His heart thumps competing the speed of a race car as you place your hand on top of his, running your thumb smoothly across his bruised knuckles. You delight in the way that subtle dark red hue settles on his cheeks. It's working.

"I really, really like you. I like the way your hair moves, I like the way I can take a peek at your fangs when you laugh, I like the way that you roll your eyes when someone says something really stupid," It's a drawn out ramble, one that Miguel could get absolutely drunk on and result in a hangover the next morning.

"You're not better or worse than me, we both carry our own flaws, have our own struggles," Time seems to come to a standing point when you bring his scathed hand to your heart, where he can feel how fast it's beating under his fingertips.

"But what really matters to me is that we help each other change, to improve. You've done so much for me after all this time and I want to do the same for you ten-fold," You suck in a sharp breath. "Possibly even more."

Miguel clearly couldn't bring himself to words right now. How could he after everything you've just confessed? Any sentence after that would make him sound like a caveman and it's not like he could afford to look like any more of a bumbling idiot in front of you after all that.

Instead, he opts for something else. Slowly but surely, he drags his hand up to grip onto your shoulder, pulling you closer. Gently but closer.

He notices the way that your body tenses in anticipation, your breath quickening when his gaze flickers down to your lips.

"May I?"

Yes, please.

There was a certain softness to the way that Miguel kissed you, in a way that you'd never expect would come from him. However, the grip that he has on your shoulder tightens and surely, there's a certain desperation to how he holds you.

He wants this. He needs this.

You want to lean in closer. Maybe even climb onto the bed and straddle his lap so that things can go further deeper, all of these thoughts racing through your head come to an abrupt stop when Miguel hisses in pain pulling back.

Excitement quickly contorts into concern when he retracts his hand from you to rub the crook of his neck. You swore you could see blood sprinkling the gauze that covered the wound there.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. You should—" Before you could even finish apologizing, he recovers. Practically grabbing you with so much force that your body slightly clashes against the metal of his bed, the cold steel in contrast to the warmth of his touch.

God, kissing you felt like running a marathon or scaling a building as high as the Effeil Tower, but did Miguel care? No, he didn't. He didn't give a shit if he'd be ripping a stitch or causing a blood vessel to pop. You were all that mattered to him now.

"Don't you dare apologize." He grits through labored breaths before continuing to kiss you with a newfound hunger and how could you not listen?

No matter how many bandages, lectures, and battles Miguel had to go through each passing day. The isolation that had consumed his heart in a tar nobody could break, you did. When Miguel was there to save the multiverse, most of all, you would be there to save him.

And he was more than okay with that.

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