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#hyunjin fic
cheeseceli · 8 hours
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Dream of you
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Pairing: hwang hyunjin × Gn!reader
Genre: angst, a little of fluff, friends to ??
Prompt: "I don't want to want you, but in my dreams I seem to be more honest. And I must admit, you've been in quite a few"
Warnings: none I'm aware of, please feel free to correct me if needed!
A/n: I felt a little bit like a genius in the last paragraph ngl. Let me know what y'all think about it | join the 1K event!
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Falling in love with his best friend was not what hyunjin wanted.
Sure, the friends to lovers trope was adorable in books and movies. There's something amazing about the feeling of falling for someone who you know will catch you. It must be an incredible feeling to be understood and loved in the same amount by someone who has been there with you way before any romantic feelings could develop. Then you know that the feeling is real, deeper than the skin and will last longer than a passion.
It is, indeed, an amazing feeling. However, it is way more terrifying than what fiction portrays it like.
He couldn't tell exactly when it happened, when he fell in love with you. He remembers how you got along well with his members and how his mother always asks about you. Even kkami likes you. Maybe he fell for you when he felt you were closer to his world than ever. He also remembers how some acquaintances would constantly ask for your number and how you commented about how jeongin was cute and funny once. Maybe he realised his feelings when he felt that he could lose you forever.
Either way, he felt it was wrong. He didn't want to want you. So why did he feel like he was made for you?
Lately he started to dream about you. He dreamt about how it'd feel to wake up with you and to walk side by side. Sometimes he wasn't even in the dream, the only thing he could see was you and your smile. It was like you were always on your golden hour. You couldn't seem to get out of his mind.
Those oh so romantic nights became sleepless nights after a while, with him not wanting to fall in love with you even after closing his eyes. But that didn't seem to be so smart considering he would spend those late hours on the phone with you, muffled giggles and whispers.
He didn't want to fall for you. He tried to say countless times that it meant nothing, that you were just friends. But he knows it's all lies. He's fallen for good, and the only thing he can do about it is wait for the night to come so he can see you again, be it either through the phone or with his eyes closed.
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: 305
Thank you for reading <3
Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143
Credits for image 1 , 2 and 3
Dividers by @cafekitsune
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arcanesea · 5 months
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pet names | hwang hyunjin x reader | 519 w.
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"What did you just call me?" Hyunjin scowled. His hands once again placed on each hip. It was impossible to not laugh at the scene, and that made him even more enraged in all the endearing ways possible for you.
"Hyunjin," you whine as he walks out of the room. Following him to the kitchen, you quickly circle your hand on his torso, trying to put your chin on his shoulder, but fail miserably because he keeps shaking you off. You laugh at his antics. All this because you called him by his name and not the designated pet names you both had for each other.
"I don't know any Hyunjin," he said, running away from you once again to the couch.
"That's literally your name," you exclaimed, half laughing. You sat next to him, nudging his feet with your own, trying to annoy him. He quickly grabs a pillow to prevent you from trying to use the hug attack. "Hyune," you called again, this time with a more common nickname.
He didn't budge. Not even a twitch of an eye.
"Baby?" you tried another one with a softer one. That sure earned you a little sarcastic smile from the man himself. He looked down at you, still not impressed by your whole shenanigans. He pressed his body even further into the couch, leaving no space for you to slip your hand.
"No," he said, squinting at you.
"What do you mean no?" you jolt back in surprise. Mainly because that's what you always call him. Baby. Just like the pet names, he's the biggest pouty baby you've ever known.
Hyunjin looks as if he's thinking something before you notice the mischief in his eyes.
"I want new pet names," he said, smirking. You looked at him, gears starting to run in your head.
"Honey?" you offer softly. He placed a finger under his chin before tickling you, making you fall from the couch. He saw this coming and held on to your body before you could hit the floor. He sets you down on the floor gently before attacking you with tickles again.
"I'll stop when you give me one I like," he laughed maniacally.
"Sorry! Sorry!" you exclaimed, trying to escape from his grip. "Boobear! Boobear!" you shouted in between laughs. Hyunjin laughs along with you, refusing to stop.
"Love, my love," you offer another one, starting to run out of energy. Hyunjin seems to think for a few seconds before he stops tickling you.
"I like that," he said, pushing the hair on your face away so he could hold it.
"You know it was just a prank, right?" you ask, out of breath.
"I do," he smiles playfully before placing a kiss on the tip of your nose. "Now we're even." You roll your eyes in annoyance, smiling nevertheless.
"I'll get you some water, stay here," he said before standing up.
You saw another chance, propping yourself before you opened your mouth and shouted, "Thanks, bro." Immediately bolting away to the room with erupting laughter.
Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, speechless and definitely unamused.
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a/n. my honeybun, pumpkin, choco pie, this is so cliche please don't attack me it's sounds better in my head
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hyunsvngs · 7 months
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kinktober !
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kink: thighfucking
pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader
wc: 1.7k
thighfucking: non-penetrative sex where the penis is placed between the receiving partner's thighs and friction is generated via thrusting.
Hyunjin was the sweetest lover you'd ever had. He always took the time to make sure you were feeling comfortable and safe, and of course gave you the most mind-blowing orgasms of your life. He was much more of a giver than a taker; as long as you were satisfied, so was he.
Sometimes, though… he was overcome with need. You didn't know what had gotten into him that night. He came fairly early into your lovemaking, which happened sometimes and you didn't hold it against him. He'd usually proceed to attach his lips to your clit and draw one, two, three orgasms out of you. Though his own climax hadn't deterred him at all. His cock didn't soften, not even for a second, and he continued to stroke himself as he sucked his cum from your tongue and swallowed it himself.
He'd fucked you mercilessly, until the both of you were drenched in his sweat. He whimpered about how badly he'd needed your pussy all day, how tight and sweet and wet it was, all for him. He came again, deep inside you, but he was relentless. His thrusts never slowed, fucking his cum deeper into your pussy.
"You gonna cum, baby?" he asked, looking deeply into your eyes. One hand was resting on your lower back, tilting you upwards to ensure he hit your g-spot with every snap of his hips; the other reached down to caress your cheek as he spoke to you gently. "You gonna give me another one?"
"Another one?" you asked, your voice a hoarse whisper after moaning for him for what felt like hours. "I've already given you so many."
Hyunjin smiled at you. "C'mon, angel, I know you have it in you."
You took a deep breath, before nodding slowly. "Yeah, Hyune. Just one more."
He grinned, eyes disappearing into crescents. "That's my baby."
His slender fingers returned to your clit deftly, rubbing gentle circles into it, in time with his thrusts. He leaned down, his soft hair tickling your chest as he tongued your nipple. You closed your eyes and gave in to the pleasure.
Nobody had ever taken the time to learn your body the way Hyunjin had. He knew all the tricks, had all the perfect motions locked down. He was skilled in so many things, but making you cum was his expertise.
Your nails raked lines down Hyunjin's back, making him whimper and bite down on your nipple, in turn causing you to cry out too.
He looked up at you, tears in his eyes, sweat dripping down his forehead. "I'm gonna cum again, baby."
"Gonna fill me up again?" you asked, and he nodded furiously. He pressed his lips to yours, kissing you harshly, his thrusts picking up in speed. You opened your mouth with a moan, and he pushed his tongue into the space. He wasn't even kissing you, he was tongue-fucking you as you both whined, high on pleasure.
Hyunjin was close to his climax, you could tell from the pitch of his whimpers, though his fingers never slipped from your clit. You knew you'd cum soon too.
"Hyunjin- Hyune, Hyun, fuck-" you babbled into his mouth.
"Y/N," he groaned your name back. "I'm - I'm cumming!" He pushed his dick into you, as far as it would go, his pelvic bone grinding against your clit as he carried on rubbing it. He was pushing up against your cervix at this point, and the pain mingled with pleasure, pushing you over the edge.
You lay under him, completely worn out with pleasure. You were both panting, though Hyunjin had done most of the work.
"You did so well for me, babe," he said, smiling down at you sweetly. "Did it all feel good?"
You nodded, smiling through your exhaustion. "Always does."
Hyunjin sighed, looking down. His dick was resting on your vulva, sitting heavily. "It's not going down," he said, with a breathy chuckle.
You looked down, eyes wide. "You're kidding me. You don't wanna go again, do you?"
Hyunjin's cheeks were bright red, his hair positively drenched with sweat. His lips were swollen from being kissed and bitten at, and his chest was still rising and falling heavily as he struggled to catch his breath. He looked as though he could fall to the bed and sleep for days. Despite this, though, he gave you a devilish grin. "I really, really want to."
"Jesus, Hyun, do you have any cum left in you?"
He lifted his cock, dragging his balls gently over your clit. "I don't know. Already drained them three times. But I just…" He ran his hands down your sides, making you shiver. "You're so beautiful. I wanna make love to you forever."
You'd be lying if his kind words didn't make your clit start throbbing once more. But you couldn't - your pussy was on fire. You pouted at him. "My pussy's tired, baby. She needs to rest."
He nodded, accepting this. Hyunjin would never push you past your limits, would never keep begging after you've given him an answer. But you were overcome with the need to take care of him, like he always took care of you.
You raised your legs in the air, locking your ankles over his shoulders and squeezing your legs together. "There. Fuck my thighs."
Hyunjin was looking down at you, lips parted in shock, eyes lit up, as though it was Christmas morning. "Are you sure? I can fuck your thighs?"
"Of course. Go ahead, baby."
This wasn't something you'd ever offered him before, but going from the expression on his face, you'd guess that he'd definitely thought about it. He looked like his wildest dreams had just come true.
Hyunjin parted your legs slightly, sliding his dick between them. His dick was still wet from your pussy, but he spat onto it, lubing things up even further. He liked it wet and messy, but you knew he was worrying about chafing you too. You watched as his spit dripped down, ever so slowly, before landing on his shaft. The sight was so erotic, it almost made you reconsider turning down another round.
He pushed your thighs together once more, closing them around his dick. He pushed his hips forwards slowly, the head of his cock peeking through the other side. It was so pink and enlarged, you couldn't even imagine how sensitive it was.
Hyunjin threw his head back with a groan. "Feels so different from your pussy… But still so tight."
He gripped your thighs tightly, and you made sure to tense them as best you could for him, giving him a tight passage to fuck. He begin to thrust, pulling back slowly, before forcing his dick all the way back through. Your thighs were so slicked up with his spit, your wetness, his sweat. You felt it drip down your legs, back onto your pussy. Hyunjin would definitely be drawing the two of you a bath after this.
Hyunjin pressed a gentle kiss to your leg, hiding his face. You could still make out his tortured expression, though - his eyebrows furrowed into a tight knot, his pupils blown out with ecstasy, his jaw clenched tightly. Even after all this time, you were taken aback by how gorgeous he was. God, you were so fucking lucky to be the only one who got to see him like this.
As much as you loved his pretty face, you couldn't look at it long. Your eyes were drawn back to the spot between your thighs. It was captivating. The tip of his dick, bright red at this point, forcing its way through your legs, straining with the pressure, before dragging back through and disappearing again.
You could watch it for hours. Although, that being said, you were beyond tired after your countless orgasms, and the idea of cleaning yourselves up and climbing back into bed for cuddles sounded incredible. And so, it was time to commence Mission: Make Hyunjin cum as soon as possible.
"Hey, Hyune," you called to him gently.
"Mm?" He looked down at you, meeting your gaze with half-lidded eyes.
"You know how much I love you, right?" you asked. He moaned at your words. Your loverboy, this kind of affection always got him going. "Love you so much, baby. You treat me so well. Best boyfriend I've ever had."
"Love you," he whined back, his thrusts growing quicker and shakier. "Love you so much, my angel."
His eyes slipped closed, and you clicked your fingers at him. "Look at me. Don't stop looking at me. I wanna see your pretty face when you cum." He whimpered, complying with your request, giving you his unwavering eye contact. His pupils were almost indistinguishable from his dark brown eyes, particularly in the low lighting of the bedroom. His stare was intense, and told you everything he was feeling.
His breathing was heavy, his hands shaking where they gripped your thighs. His thrusts grew even messier, his dick poking into the back of your thigh a few times.
"Hey, baby, hey," you soothed him gently. "Stay still, okay?"
He followed your directions once more, pushing his dick all the way through your thighs and leaving it there, the head poking through so prettily. You spat on your fingers, and began to rub it gently, massaging his frenulum. He let out a low groan, his cock twitching beneath your touch. You tensed and untensed your thighs as you massaged him, squeezing his member between them as hard as you could.
"Oh, baby - baby, I c-can't hold on much longer," he stammered, hands scrambling as they found purchase on your waist.
"You don't need to hold on, honey, it's okay. Let go," you urged him.
"Baby - honey - Y/N, oh god!" he cried out, eyes still locked onto yours.
"Cum for me, Hyunjin. Cum."
With your command, his cock twitched, cum oozing out of his tip and painting your fingers. It was runnier than usual, and there was much less of it, but that was to be expected of his fourth fucking cumshot of the night.
He cried out, his dick pulsating so much between your thighs' tight grasp that it was almost bouncing. You loosened your grip, taking mercy on him, knowing how insanely overstimulated he must be.
You let your legs fall from Hyunjin's shoulders, onto the bed, and he collapsed against your chest, his face nuzzling into your neck.
"Finished now," he mumbled.
You couldn't help but laugh. "I should fucking think so."
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mixtape-racha · 7 months
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should i stay or should i go | hwang hyunjin
who knew the quiet girl in the back of the algebra classroom, and the campus's golden boy would have so much in common? // minors dni, 18+
words: 4.3k // warnings: camboy!hyunjin x camgirl!reader, dom!hyunjin, oral (f. recieving), tiny hint to orgasm control, protected piv, "sir" and "princess", recorded sex, illusions to aftercare, reader is kind of a brat and teases hyunjin at first, hinted multiple rounds, slight degradation but mostly praise
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“g’night, guys. dream of me!” hyunjin grinned, biting his lip as he leaned forward to turn off his livestream camera.
he felt sticky, and messy, but god did it feel good. he worked quickly to find his wipes and clean the cum off of his torso before it dried, before pulling out his favorite lounge pants and a baggy shirt.
sure, cam work was often frowned upon, but why shouldn’t he get paid for allowing others to view his pleasure? why shouldn’t he indulge himself in the compliments of strangers on twitter who oh-so loyally reminded him how beautiful he was under every lewd or nude he posted?
in fact, he didn’t understand why people wouldn’t want that for themselves.
of course, it also helped that he was surrounded by many followers and mutuals who were even more attractive than him, making many online friends who enjoyed their sexuality just as much as he did.
speaking of which, he needed to reply to a dm from his favorite mutual. she was gorgeous in every sense of the word - and her personality even more so. they’d began talked after she praised him under one of his only cumshot videos on the app, and instantly bonded from there. it was her who had introduced him to the camming site she used, hyunjin having instantly made an account - at first, to watch his new friend’s streams, but eventually starting his own.
his most recent conversations with his friend - who used the online alias of “jae” - was about their many, many requests from their followers for a collab. either for a twitter post, or a stream, it seemed their fans weren’t too fussed. they entertained the idea, and were currently in the process of figuring out if it was actually a good idea for them.
he was more than keen - jae’s body was gorgeous, and he’d rubbed one out to her twitter posts more than once. and - although he’d never admit it - he was a frequent viewer of her streams. that was where jae and himself differed though. she was too caught up in keeping her viewers occupied, that she hadn’t had a chance to watch one of his streams, and he never showed his face in twitter posts. 
so, in short, she didn’t know what he looked like. and neither did he truly know what she looked like, because she’s never done a face reveal on twitter or on a stream. he was only fortunate enough to have endless content of her gorgeous tits and pretty pussy to indulge in when he needed it.
a week later, and it was almost time. hyunjin and jae had agreed to meet at a bar near his campus, to see how their dynamic went. the agreement was that if either party felt uncomfortable, they would go no further and call the idea off. if they both felt comfortable, well…. jae would take hyunjin back to her apartment. they’d see how things went there, take a few photos for twitter and maybe if they both wanted.
then - all things successful - the following weekend, they’d do a joint stream, streaming live on both their accounts simultaneously for maximum viewers. that was his idea, a whim decision that he was surprised jae agreed too.
hyunjin dressed in his nicest semi-casual outfit before grabbing all the essentials in his bag - wallet, keys, charger, airpods, phone - before grabbing a bottle of lube and some condoms. just to be on the safe side, he told himself. he didn’t know why he was so nervous, this was literally part of his job. and he’d been talking to jae for months now. he had no reason to be scared.
that was until he got to the bar and had every reason to be scared. sitting in a booth in the corner, exactly where jae had told him she was sitting, was you. y/n l/n, the pretty girl in the back of his algebra class. there was no way, right? he cautiously approached the table, hands shaking slightly. oh god, was it really someone he knew on the other end of the phone that entire time?
“jae?” he asked, wincing at the way his voice broke, and his heart thumping when your head whipped up. you looked like a deer caught in headlights as you realized who was stood in front of you, and instantly you both worried that this was a bad idea.
“oh my god… hyunjin?” but what surprised him most was the way you broke into a grin. “thank god, i was so worried it was actually going to be a creepy old man catfishing me… come! come sit!”
were you always so bubbly? hyunjin had always known who you were, but this was so different to the quiet girl in the back of the algebra class, one airpod in at all times, glasses donning her face and never talking. he was almost whiplashed - he’d really misjudged you.
“so… i mean, know that we’ve known each other previously, do you still want to do this? if not, no harm done, and i promise i won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone about me.” you asked softly, picking up on hyunjin’s hesitance - not that it was hard, he wore all his emotions on his sleeve.
“no! no, i still want to do this.. i guess i’m just.. surprised? i never expected jae to be someone i knew.”
you grinned at that, reaching out to grab his hand across the table comfortingly.
“i get it. i didn’t expect you to be someone i knew, either. but honestly, this works really well for me. you’re hot, and i feel more comfortable knowing you’re not a complete stranger.”
he flushed at your words, but hoped you couldn’t tell under the dim lights of the bar.
“do you wanna get a couple of drinks before we head back to mine? maybe some shots, just to ease the nerves? my teat.” you smiled, pulling out your purse as hyunjin shook his head rapidly.
“no, no i can pay for my drinks!”
“hyunjin,” you laughed. “its fine. got a big tip last night, nearly $600 dollars from a private stream. my treat.” you insisted, taking his drink order before wandering over to the bar.
he couldn't help the way he watched your ass as you walked, the tight skirt doing nothing to help his already raging boner. if he’d known you were so confident, he would’ve made a move on you sooner. in all honesty, hyunjin had always had an eye for you - you were so, so pretty. the whole nerdy thing you had going on really turned him on too - you seemed so innocent, and it played into his whole corruption fantasy. but knowing now that it wasn’t true - that you were secretly a freak? it was a whole new level of turned-on. if he could, he would’ve ravished you in the toilet cubicles of the bar, but he was more classy than that. maybe next time.
before he could realize the implications of his thoughts, you came back over, passing him his drink before sipping on yours as you took a seat.
“so i was thinking we could cover the basics here? safe words, hard limits, that sort of thing? it seemed too impersonal to do over messages, you know?”
god, he didn’t think he could get more attracted to you. he barely could keep track of your conversation, only spaced-in enough to cover the most important topics. his cock throbbed in his jeans when you leaned over the table towards him, tits squeezing together perfectly under your tiny shirt. the skirt you wore hugged your hips in a way that had hyunjin trying not to drool, and your thighs looked so, so biteable in contrast to the material adorning them.
he was so out of it, he couldn’t even trace the moment that you’d left the bar to go back to your apartment, not until you pushed him against the back of the door and asked him to kiss you with big doe eyes.
and how could he refuse? when you looked up at him like he was the only god you could ever submit to? when you begged so nicely? when your hands tightened on his shirt in anticipation?
he gripped your jaw, pulling your face up to meet his as he kissed you in a flurry of clashing teeth and spit. he wanted to be gentle, to be careful with you, but he couldn’t help himself. he needed you so bad, and it was like his body was acting on its own accord.
like when he flipped your positions, so you were the one pressed against the door. a moan left your lips and went tumbling into his at the way our back hit the door, and he felt himself throb at how pretty you sounded. he was quick to hoist one of your legs over his hip, pressing his body against your as much as he could.
as his tongue entered your mouth, battling yours for dominance which you inevitably surrendered to him, he grabbed a fistful of your ass, the feel of your skin making him groan against you.
he was quick to pull away from your mouth with a pop, smirking as you whined before attaching his plump lips to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. you keened, back arching against the door and pushing your tits against him perfectly. he tapped your ass harshly, before lifting at your other leg, hinting for you to jump as he wrapped your legs around his waist, effectively trapping you against the door.
the display of strength had you clenching around nothing, hands tugging at his hair as you panted and whined into the darkness of your apartment.
“bedroom, hyun. take me to my bedroom.” you whimpered as he bit down on your jugular, rocking your hips against him. “last door on the right.”
he grunted in response, carrying you across the expanse of your apartment, kicking open your bedroom door when he reached it. he was fast to kick it shut behind him, dropping you onto the bed once close enough and looking down at you with eyes so blown-out with lust he looked feral.
you felt small under his gaze, embarrassment flushing across you in a way it hadn’t in a long time. cam work and your nsfw twitter had built a whole new confidence in you - you felt like femme fatale, someone who could have boys falling to their knees to worship the ground she walked on, only to have hyunjin blow it all away within moments. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d wanted someone this bad, and you were damned sure you were going to make him give you what you wanted.
your hand slipped down to your skirt, lifting the material as you slipped your panties to the side, looking up at him with doe eyes as your finger circled your clit. you were so wet it was unreal, and he could’ve sworn you were about to start dripping all over the bed below you.
“gonna fuck me now, hyunie? gonna make me feel good like you promised so many times on twitter? need you so bad, need you to fill me up.” your words drawled out slightly slurred, the visual of his cock jumping beneath his jeans making you involuntarily clench around nothing. but oh, it made something in your mind click, smirking as you enticed him even more with your teasing.
“why don’t we stream it, yeah? then everyone can see what a fucking slut you are for me?”
he growled in response, lunging forward to push your thighs apart as far as they could, his eyes fixed on your cunt, slick dripping out of your greedy hole.
“oh, i’m a slut, hmm? well then, we don’t we show your viewers how quickly you’re going to cream on my cock, yeah? make them watch as you beg me to cum inside of you, have my cum dripping out of you as a reminder of how bad you want me?”
you were so caught off guard at the change of demeanor that he showed, you didn’t even realize that he’d floated over to your computer, which had your streaming site booted up in the background in case of an impromptu stream - just like now, you supposed.
turning back to you, his face had relaxed and his eyes showed concern.
“are you sure about this, what about if they accidentally see your face?” your heart warmed at his worry, shaking your head in response.
“i don’t care. collab stream with you and face reveal? two birds with one stone, just need you to hurry up and fuck me.”
at your words, his face hardened again, and he smirked, typing in the title for the stream and turning it on. instantly, pings from your computer informed you that people were joining, and it had you more turned on - if that were even possible.
‘face reveal + a special guest: surprise lovelies xoxo ~ jaecums // callmehhj’
“gonna let me ravish you now, then? let sir turn you into a brainless cumdump on his cock?”
your eyes fluttered, threatening to roll to the back of your head as hyunjin approached you once more, biting your lip as you nodded, whining out a yes.
“come on, princess. you gotta use your words for me, yeah? how else will i know what my slutty girl wants?” he asked, faux sympathy dripping from his voice as he knelt on the end of the bed, long fingers circling your hole.
“please, sir, please, need you, need you to fuck me so bad, sir, please-!”
your words were cut off as he removed himself from the bed, kneeling on the floor and pulling you towards him by your thighs. your legs hung over his shoulders, ass perched on the edge of the bed as he kissed softly up your thighs.
“gotta let me hear those pretty moans as i eat you out first, though. gonna make you cum on my face before my cock even goes near you.”
you keened as he pushed his face against your core, nose swiping against your clit as he flattened his tongue against you.  “oh, fuck–!”
he hummed in appreciation, the vibrations making your hips buck against him as he messily made out with your clit, spit and arousal dripping down onto his chin. your hands laced their way through hyunjin’s long hair, grip tightening every time he decided to tease you by dipping his tongue into your hole.
his fingers were digging into your skin deliciously, and you were sure you’d have marks left behind to remind you that this wasn’t just a fever dream. your moans were bouncing off the walls, and even then you could hear the messy slurping of hyunjin gathering all of your arousal that he could into his mouth.
he was like a man starved between your legs, and it had your stomach tightening unbelievably fast. there was no way– you’d never come this fast, especially from oral. was hyunjin superhuman? you couldn’t believe that you were already feeling a coil tightening and a warm tingling spreading up through your body already.
your hands threaded further through his hair, hips bucking wildly as you tugged his face deeper into your core. “oh, shit– oh fuck, sir, m’gonna cum–!” you cried, toes curling as you tried to fend off your building release. “please! pleasepleaseplease-!” your words came out slurred, and hyunjin smirked to himself between your legs as he pulled away from your swollen clit with a pop.
he quickly replaced his lips with his fingers, rubbing delicate figure-eights on your bud while he looked up at you with faux doe eyes. “gonna cum, yeah? you gonna cum for me, baby?”
but it wasn’t enough for you as tears sprung behind your eyes, digging the heels of your feet into his shoulders. “please, sir-! please, let me cum for you, please!”
hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly before his face hardened once more and his fingers sped up on your clit. he began pressing kisses to your thighs, biting and sucking at the plush skin.
“go on, princess. cum for me. cum all over sir’s face, yeah?”
and as soon as the words left his mouth, he pushed his nose against your bud, tongue lapping at your hole and the coil in your stomach snapped. you keened, back arching as your juices flooded hyunjin’s mouth, him moaning against your core in appreciation.
he stayed nestled between your thighs until your legs started twitching in overstimulation and you began pushing his head away. but god, he’d never get over the way you tasted. it was official - he’d never be able to give any other girl oral because it would never be as perfect as the way your thighs wrapped around his head. he was a goner.
hauling himself onto his feet, hyunjin wrapped an arm around your back to pull you to meet him halfway in a sloppy kiss, the taste of your slick falling from his mouth to yours.  you moaned against his lips, hands falling to grip onto him any way you could before realizing he was still fully dressed. you sharply pulled away from the kiss, brows furrowed and lower lips falling out in a pout.
“take it off,” you grumbled, pulling at the material of his shirt, frown only deepening when he chuckled at you. but you could forgive him for that, you could forgive him for anything - especially when he looked that fucking good. planes of muscled, honey skin exposed to you, and you wanted nothing more than to pin him down and cover him in bites and bruises. however, you didn’t think he’d let you get away with that, so you let your hands fall to his belt, quickly undoing it in hopes he’d get the hint.
as he began removing the offending items, you slipped your skirt and top off, leaving you in just a lacy bra, to which hyunjin grinned. “so desperate for me, huh? wasn’t enough that i made you cum once, was it? my greedy girl.”
“need you inside me, please,” you whimpered, reaching out to pull him towards you. “need you to fuck me, sir, come on.”
he leaned down to plant a kiss on your head, before stepping away to retrieve a condom from his wallet. it was in that moment of silence that you could truly appreciate how many pings were coming from your computer, an indication of how much people were enjoying the stream. you were kind of excited to see how many tips you got, and were curious to see if hyunjin would easily accept half of whatever you made - he seemed like the type of guy to refuse, but you could be just as stubborn.
when he came back, he had put the condom on his length, and you nearly drooled seeing it up close. his dick was…. well, gorgeous. there was no other way to put it, and you knew damn well that you were going to be screaming with pleasure faster than you ever had.
“gonna fuck you so full of me, yeah? let everyone see what a dirty bitch you really are.”
he clambered on top of you, kneeling with one hand next to your hip and the other on his length to guide it against your hole. he’d barely put the tip in before you moaned, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at how fucked out you were.
“calm down, love. let me at least get inside you before you go all brainless.”
but you couldn’t help the way you writhed and keened as he pushed ever-so-slowly further into you, not stopping until he was sheathed inside you, his public bone resting against your plush thighs.
he had his lower lip tucked between his teeth to stop himself from drowning out your pretty whimpers, but also to ground himself - you felt so warm and tight, it took everything in him not to nut straight away. he couldn’t. you deserved to squirt all over him before he even considered finishing.
you reached for his arm, fingers coming to grip the muscle as he began to shallowly thrust, the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls making your head fall back as you let out a contented sigh. you didn’t think you’d ever felt so full in your life, and it was heavenly. every vein on his cock, every twitch, the way his tip stretched you out so perfectly for the rest of him. oh yeah, you could die happy now.
your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him against you as he rocked his hips, not wanting to overwhelm you and pound into you how he wanted. his eyes bored into your skin, making you blush at the way he held such affection for you in his pretty eyes. it was freeing, and overwhelming, and heartwarming all at once.
once you’d been reasonably adjusted to his size, he pulled his hips back as far as your grip would allow him, leaving just the tip inside, before thrusting forward against such force it sent your body back up the bed at least an inch. you cried out, clenching on him as drool began pooling at your lips from your want— no, your need for him to ruin you.
“please, sir,” you slurred, fingers gripping at his skin as tight as the heat in your body would let you. “fuck me properly, please. wanna make a mess, wanna make you cum.”
he then growled at your words, hips speeding up almost instantly. your body rocked in its spot on the bed, tits bouncing with the pure force he was driving into you at.
the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping, and if you strained your ears you could hear the squelching noise your pussy made as your arousal dripped out, coating the sheets beneath you.
you knew you’d get a noise complaint from your neighbor if you kept squealing the way you were, but you couldn’t help it. especially not when hyunjin bit down on your neck, tongue rubbing over the sensitive skin, making you let out an almost animalistic howl.
it felt like he was hitting the deepest parts of you, and you couldn’t get enough of it. the way his hair swayed, the way sweat was dripping down his forehead, the way he looked at you like he wanted nothing more than to tie you down and use you as his own personal sex toy. even the way he moaned when you clenched around him, god you were obsessed.
you felt a fire building in your abdomen as he leant back on his knees, eyes trained on watching his cock glide in and out of you, and you held your legs up to your chest to give him a better view. at that, he threw his head back and let out a heavenly groan, causing you to clench around him once again.
you snaked a hand down to your clit, rubbing it furiously as the leg it was holding fell into place naturally on hyunjin’s shoulder. you were so aching close, so close you could feel your walls begging for it, but you just needed a final push.
hooking your foot around his neck, you pushed hyunjin towards you, instantly grabbing his lips with your own. it was messy, and disgusting, but you loved it. all drool, and teeth clashing, tongues wrapped around each other like that's how they’d always been.
the new angle allowed hyunjin to reach ever deeper - hitting the deepest parts of you that you didn’t even know where possible. he reached a hand up to tweak at your nipple, and you whined into his mouth as it sent you hurling into an orgasm, back arching to push your chests together.
the way you clamped down on him sent him head-first into his own release, his hips stuttering as you felt each throb of his cock as he filled the condom. you were both breathing heavily, almost panting as he pulled away from this kiss, thrusting shallowly a few more times to ride you both through your release.
your chest was heaving, and you felt like you’d ascended. all floaty and gooey, head sinking into the pillow beneath it as your eyes fluttered closed in pure bliss. hyunjin peppered a few soft kisses across your cheeks as he carefully pulled out, rubbing your hips comfortingly when you winced.
“good?” he asked quietly, so quiet that your computer wouldn’t pick it up, and you nodded without opening your eyes.
“so good.”
you felt him crawl backwards and leave the bed, opening your bleary eyes to follow his figure around the room. you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet, though. you thought all your bones had disappeared and you’d sink straight back into the bed if you tried.
once he’d come back to the bed from ending the stream and tossing the used condom in the bin, he scooped you into his arms and planted a soft kiss on your temple.
“you’re staying tonight, right?” you asked softly, nuzzling your head against him. “don’t think i can let you go after that.” exhaustion flooded your voice and he chuckled.
“course i am, silly. but we gotta get you showered, okay? then i can order in some food and we can watch a movie or something, yeah?”
you nodded softly.
“join me in the shower?”
“oh, i don’t think that’s a good idea, princess. you’re shattered.”
“please, jinnie,” you pleaded, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “need you to cum down my throat before anything else, and sharing a shower means saving water, after all.”
he laughed at your enthusiasm, and nodded, agreeing.
“okay. okay, whatever you want. but then - food and sleep, okay?” he grinned, scooping you up in his arms to carry you to the bathroom.
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straykeedz · 2 months
Text
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭 ; 𝐡𝐡𝐣
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just a lil drabble i wrote bc hyunjin's live got me in a chokehold, hope you enjoy!
posting this again bc it flopped the first time... don't let it flop!
𝐭𝐰: female anatomy ; kinda sub!hyune ; semi-public sex (one of the boys is mentioned to be in the dorm) ; unprotected piv sex (don't!) ; clit play ; creampie ; brief nipple play ; cum eating ; ♡
𝐰𝐜: 1,7k ;
this is nari's (aka @jilixthinker) review if you even care 🥺:
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You step inside the room as soon as “the live has ended” sign pops up on your phone screen. 
He’s sitting there with his phone in his hand, probably checking something or catching up to the memes and other stuff the boys sent him, because he’s giggling, biting on his fingernail. He looks even hotter than he did when he was live, hair all messy and collarbone exposed. 
“Can I come in?” You break the silence, your question followed by a soft knock on the door. 
“Flower, hey,” Hyunjin’s head snaps up in your direction and a smile spreads on his beautiful features, “sure you can. Did you watch the live?”
You nod, catching him a little off guard when you sit down on his knees - well, you’re not exactly sitting on him, you’re practically mounting him, your knees on each side of his waist. He puts his phone away immediately. “I did,” you murmur, running your fingers up and down his exposed forearms, then his wrists, then intertwining your fingers together. “You were cute.”
Hyunjin blushes a little, he always does whenever you compliment him, your pretty boy. 
“I was?” He asks, flustered, avoiding your gaze. You let go of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you slightly closer. 
“Hm-mh,” you hum, gaze dropping to where his silver necklace rests on his exposed clavicle. “Very cute,” you murmur, placing a kiss on his jawline, your lips brushing the hint of spiky beard that is slowly starting to grow back, “but also very sexy.” You kiss his neck and Hyunjin, beneath you, shivers. 
“S-Sexy?” He swallows the lump in his throat, tightening the grip on your waist, “but… I wasn’t doing anything, flower.”
You huff against his skin, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on his exposed collarbone. “Please,” you roll your eyes at him even though he can’t see you, “all the lip biting, hm? And the running your hand through your hair?”
Hyunjin gasps when you suck on his neck. “I wasn’t trying to be sexy.”
“Pf, sure.”
You take your time kissing his neck, licking the soft skin until you capture his heavy, silver necklace between your teeth. Your fingers toy with the ends of Hyunjin’s hair, tugging at it slightly, and he moans out loud while you feel him getting hard right between your legs. Just like you planned. You roll your hips to grind on his visible erection, and Hyunjin’s hands grip your hips a bit tighter as if to stop you. 
“We shouldn’t be here. One of the boys could burst in anytime. Let’s go to my room.”
“But I wanna have my fun here,” you bite his shoulder, “where everyone could interrupt us any moment. See you all whiny and desperate for me, how you beg and yearn for my touch.”
Hyunjin whimpers. “What’s gotten into you?” He doesn’t protest when you slip your hand under his oversized sweatshirt, your fingers brushing his navel and happy trail until they reach the button of his grey jeans. 
“You. You’re a tease, and you know it,” you undo the button and pull down the zipper. “Got me all wet and hot with your… whatever the hell it was. Had to press my thighs together to stop myself from shaving my hand down my pants, but I’m pretty sure Jisung figured out something was up with me.”
“Jisung?” Hyunjin squeezes your ass, giving in to his instincts. 
“Hm, we were watching tiktoks together,” you keep kissing his neck. “This,” you tug at his sweatshirt, “off. Now.”
He nods. “Okay, okay.”
You reluctantly pull away from him, allowing Hyunjin to cross his arms over his torso and pull his sweater off, letting it fall on the floor without a care in the world. He’s not wearing anything underneath it, not even the slutty tank tops they always wear. You’re met with the sight of his bare torso and his nipples, hard due to the cold temperature in the room - it’s okay, it’ll get hot eventually. The silver necklace, which resembles of a chain, kind of makes him look like a bad boy. Had he kept his eyebrow piercing on, he’d look like he came straight out of a punk rock band - messy hair and everything. 
“Always so obedient…” you capture his swollen lips in a quick kiss, “be good for me now and take your cock out.”
He whines when you get up, only to pull your pajama shorts down your legs together with your underwear. You don’t take off your t-shirt, though - one of Hyunjin’s t-shirts, actually, and your favorite one. He fidgets with his jeans, lifting his body from the chair to slide them down his legs, just enough to free his hard cock and twitching balls. 
“Now wet it.”
He spits on his palm and jerks his cock off a couple of times, making sure there’s his saliva all over it. Then, you get on top of him once again and you start rubbing yourself on his length, and he’s confused. “You’re not taking this off?” He tugs at the t-shirt. You shake your head as a no, continuing to rub your clit on the tip of his cock. “But I wanna see your tits…” he kind of pouts. Cute. 
“Aw,  sweetheart…” you lift your hips to position his cockhead at your entrance, “not tonight. ‘M putting it in now, try not to cum after ten seconds this time, hm?” You tease him, and he rolls his eyes. 
“It happened once, and you’d been teasing me for- shit,” Hyunjin pants when you sink onto his length slowly. He grips your hips so tight the tips of his fingers turn white. 
“It happened twice,” your pussy swallows him wholly, his length filling you up just nice. Hyunjin pouts.  “’t’s okay, though. ’s cute how whipped you are for me.”
“And you’re not whipped for me?”
You giggle at that. “Yeah, very much,” you lift your hips again, and Hyunjin gasps, “enough with the talking now. Be good and take it,” you ease yourself onto his length slowly, the way he likes it. “And try to be quiet. Jisung’s still in the living room.”
Easier said than done, Hyunjin thinks. In fact, he has to bite on his lip so hard he can almost taste blood in his mouth to hold back his moans and whimpers and all kinds of sounds that are threatening to escape his mouth. 
“Please, just… let me see them,” he begs. He’s referring to your tits. “Need to see them so bad.”
“Nuh-uh,” you shake your head, moving up and down his length again and again and again. 
“Please,” he whines. 
“Let’s make a pact,” you tell him, rolling your hips and rubbing your clit against his skin - it’s not enough to get you off, but it feels nice nonetheless. “I’ll show you my tits, but you can’t touch them. If you touch them, you won’t be cumming.”
“What?”
“Thought you wanted to see them so bad,” you quote him. “Too ba-“
“Fine. Fine, just- lemme see them,” he whimpers trying to put off his already impending orgasm. His eyes widen comically when you take your shirt off and he sees your tits bounce. Oh, how is he supposed to fight the urge to touch them, to wrap his lips around your nipples? 
“You love my tits so much, don’t you, sweetheart?” You latch your lips on his neck, moving even faster as if to torture him. You’re pretty sure you’re breaking some physics law right now, fucking on a chair like there’s no tomorrow. 
Hyunjin nods. “You’re the pretties woman I’ve ever seen. The prettiest flower.”
You love it when he praises you and worships you - Hyunjin treats you nothing but the goddess you are, and he always makes you feel incredibly sexy and hot. And you may or may not have a praise kink, so his words have you getting even wetter - if you close your eyes and focus, you can almost taste your orgasm. 
“Fuck. Shit, do that thing again,” you tell him, breath becoming quicker, “with your fingers.” Hyunjin runs his hand through his hair, disheveling it in the sexiest way he knows. You ride him faster. You wrap your fingers around his necklace and pull slightly, allowing Hyunjin to get closer so you can kiss him. His lips suppress all of your moans. “Yeah, yeah, that’s it. ‘M gonna cum. Rub my clit.”
He uses the pad of his thumb to get you off, wetting it with the mixture of his saliva and your juices that’s coating his cock. He manages to get you off in seconds, and when you eventually cum, you hide your face in the crook of his neck and bite on his necklace as you pant, continuing to ride him as you try to come off your orgasm. 
“Can I too? Need- need to cum,” he whines pathetically. 
You pull back only to look him in the eye. “Fill me up.” 
He shivers, and doesn’t even have the time to say anything else, because his orgasm washes all over him in a matter of instants, catching him by surprise. And since he already came, it can’t hurt to infringe your pact, right? So he shoves his face in your chest and stuffs his mouth with one of your nipples, starting to suck on it desperately, running his hot tongue all over it. 
“Insatiable,” you comment with a sigh, shaking your head. “Thought we agreed on something. Might have to teach my sweetheart a lesson.”
He lets go of your nipple, his eyes meeting yours - he looks completely fucked out. He tilts his head to the side, not fully grasping what you mean. You lift your hips just enough to allow his cum to spill out of your hole, then bring your fingers to your pussy to coat them in his sperm. He gave you a generous load. 
“Open up,” you bite your lip, tapping Hyunjin’s mouth with your cum-coated fingers. He looks at you with a surprised look on his face. “What? Thought you liked having your mouth stuffed. Now be good and taste yourself, hm?”
He opens his mouth, and you dip the tip of your fingers inside - just the tip for now, watching mesmerised the way his own sperm falls on his tongue and fills his mouth. He winces, probably because he dislikes the taste, or maybe because he likes it. You push your fingers inside by another inch, he wraps his lips around them. 
“Good boy, lick ‘em clean,” you praise him, and he whimpers. “And when you’re done with my fingers, there’s a crempied pussy for you to eat.”
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-> 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞.
-> 𝐦𝐲 ☕️
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ilwonuu · 1 month
Note
I dont know if you do smut but here’s a request since you asked
SKZ (Felix, Chan, Binnie, and Hyunjin specifically) Smut after a seriously heated argument?
yes i do!!!! hehehe i hope you enjoy!!! i wanted to do hyunjin first<3 thank you for your request!!!
make up
જ⁀➴. hwang hyunjin
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✼ pairing- established relationship, meanishdom!hyunjin x sub!reader, non!idol hyunnie
✼ warnings- arguing( they don’t say anything bad to each other), kissing, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, roughish sex, overstimulation, pet names, lmk if i missed anything!!!
✼ a/n- hi hi hiii im so happy with this actually <3 i hope u guys like it!!!
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you and hyunjin rarely fight, especially like this. you two got into a heated fight because of your relationship. hyunjin stated he wasn’t ready to tell all your friends and family about your relationship.
you two have been dating for almost 4 months and hyunjin still feels the need to hide your relationship. you have had enough. you weren’t sure why he wanted to do this. it was eating away at you so you confronted him. he didn’t receive it well.
“hyunjin i’m so tired of not being able to post my boyfriend, i want everyone to know im with you! wh-why don’t you want that too?” you aren’t trying to yell but that’s how it came out with how upset you are.
“y/n why can’t you just wait until im ready? i just want to make sure we are together for awhile. i want to make sure it’s going good- i know it is! but i just don’t want to jump into this so fast.”
he sighs as stands up from where he was sitting to stand by you. “you want to make sure we are together for awhile. okay. i get that okay! but can at least understand where i’m coming from!”
you are trying to control your emotions as long as possible. all of your built up emotions pouring out of you. “y/n- no no no i understand you- i swear i just don’t appreciate how you are going on about this.” his gaze is fixed on you.
“how else was i supposed to do this? you never fucking bring it up and it’s like you don’t even care!” he scoffs at your words.
“like i don’t care? fuck y/n i care more than you think if you would just stop.” he sighs as he grabs your hand. “just come here.” he says again.
you deadpan for a moment then you move closer to him. you sigh into his touch as you try to calm down. his touch distracting you for a moment.
“hyunjin-“ you are cut off by a kiss. you want to fight his touch but you know how bad you just want him close to you. you deepen the kiss. hyunjin keeps kissing you as he lift’s you in his arms holding you against him.
you wrap your legs around his torso as you sloppily make out with him. he backs you against the wall. “baby- “ he sets you down to stand again. you leaning against the wall.
“shh want me to take care of you? fuck that little attitude out of you.” his eyes darkening as he wraps his hand around your neck gently to pull your face to kiss him.
“jinnie… touch me please.” you sigh as you look up to face him. “want me to take you right here?” his teasing voice along with his smirk. you just want to kiss his smirk right off his face.
“just fuck me jinnie. no more talking.” you mumble out as you pull his hoodie off of him seeing he doesn’t have anything under. your immediately pulling him to kiss you by his chain. making out with him against the wall.
you feel his hand start to unravel your pants causing them to fall to the floor. he rubs his fingers over your clothed folds to tease at you. kissing your jaw to your cheek. “so wet like a good girl huh?” he teases as your feel two of his fingers slide into your underwear to rub your clit.
your legs immediately buckling slightly at the pressure. “jinnie- m-more.” he just rubs your clit at an aching pace to tease you more.
he pushes his fingers inside of you. “o-oh please.” your eyes rolls back as starts to pump them a couple times inside of you.
he pulls them out without warning to bring them up to his mouth. sucking on them a little. “my good girl always taste so good. all for me.” he kisses your lips as you watch him pull his dick out of his shorts.
him stroking himself with a hiss as he turns his attention back to you. your gaze is fixed on your boyfriend as he moves your panties to the side.
“you think you can take it baby?” he taunts as he rubs his dick over your slit. you nod as you moan at the feeling. “p-please.” you cry out as you feel him slowly push into you.
his arm grabbing your leg to wrap around his waist. “f-uuck you’re such a good girl.” he bottoms out, waiting for the ok from you to move so he doesn’t hurt you. “let me know when darling.” he kisses your lips gently.
“m-move jinnie please.” you beg him and he doesn’t need to be told another time. hyunjin is roughly fucking you into the wall. “so f-fucking good shit.”
he groans as he continues to fuck you. you leaning up to kiss him in between your moans. “jinnie- want you- l-love you.” you blurt out the last part at how deep he is fucking you.
he just has a smirk on his face as he makes you fall apart on his dick. “i love you more.” he groans after as he sees you going to rub your clit. “feel good baby?” he asks teasing you, already knowing your answer to his question.
all you can do is nod at his question. “good girl.” he smiles as he quickens his pace. “jin-jinnie too m-much!” your hand neglecting your clit as hyunjin notices.
he replaces your hands old place with his own. him rubbing your clit for you now. your legs shaking as he doesn’t slow his pace.
“gonna cum like a good girl?” he breathes into you neck as his hips lose its rhythm as he gets closer to his high. you dumbly nod at your boyfriend and he just smiles at you, moving some of the hair out of your face.
“cum for me pretty. gonna make you mine.” he groans as he sees your face contort in pleasure. you come undone hard on his dick. his hips still fucking into you as you come down from your high.
“jinnie- i can’t!” you cry at the overstimulation. “i know i know pretty girl. just a little- fuck a little longer.” his hips are desperate as your feel them stuttering against you as he cums inside you.
him fucking you slow as he comes down from his orgasm. “so pretty for me.” he takes in your appearance as he pulls his dick out. he looks at his and your cum mixed with your arousal oozing out of you. “so filthy baby.” you blush trying to not seem embarrassed.
“let me clean you up then we are gonna have a civil conversation okay? i hate fighting with you.” he sighs as he pulls you to hug him. “i love you so much.” he kisses your cheek. “i love you more jinnie.”
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awooghan · 4 months
Text
fall in love with me (this christmas) ✧.* h.hj
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➳ PAIRING: hyunjin x fem!reader
➳ GENRE: fluff, mild angst, best friends to lovers, christmas
➳ WARNINGS: mild language, mentions of food, hyunjin is tipsy in one part (he and reader are ‘00 or ‘01 tho so they’re legal), UNEDITED (will be fully edited by new years) UPDATE: fully edited as of jan. 19, 2024
➳ WORD COUNT: 22.9k (final wc after editing)
➳ SUMMARY: hyunjin has one last chance to have a college christmas romance and he’ll do anything to have it—even if it means fake-dating his best friend. (inspired by "cold december night" by michael buble)
➳ NOTES: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! 🎄❄️ i hope you have/had an amazing day with love ones and good food! this fic is my christmas collab with my bestie @ujimoo :3 some parts r kind of rough bc we didn't fully edit yet but i hope y'all enjoy <3
network tags: @kflixnet @straykidsland-main @kwritersworld
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prologue.
– halloween.
You didn’t think the night could get any worse.
The night started from the moment you caught a whiff of beer, sweat, and Dior Sauvage as Hyunjin dragged you by the hand to ‘Jackson’s 2023 Annual Hallo-Wang Party’. You could think of a thousand other ways you wanted to spend your Halloween that didn’t involve being stuck here, but you lost a bet with Chan, so you don’t exactly have a choice.
So here you are, sitting in the kitchen with your now-ruined costume sticking to your skin, thanks to someone (Jeongin) spilling his tequila on you when you were playing beer pong. Now, not only is your head throbbing from the smell of frat party, but you have an ugly pink blotch on the costume you took weeks to put together.
You nurse whatever the concoction of alcohol is the punch when Hyunjin, too tipsy for his own good, slides up next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder. 
“Y/NNN~…” he sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist. “There you are!” 
Fighting against his hold on you, you’re finally able to get his hands away from your waist, only for him to wrap his arms around your arm like a lost child. 
“Why don’t you love me?” he mumbles, hiccuping at the end of his sentence. “Do you hate me?” 
A smile tugs at your lips as you turn to look at your best friend. His blond hair falls in front of his eyes as he stares at you. “Of course.” 
His nose scrunches in disgust and he shakes his head as your laughter surrounds him. It somehow makes him feel lighter than all of the alcohol he’s drunk combined. 
“You’re so mean, why would you say that?” he whines. He grabs your arm tighter and shoves his head on your shoulder. 
Exhaling, you pat his head lightly before resting your head on his. It’s like the world goes silent for a moment as you run your fingers through his hair.
You’re both like that for an uncertain amount of time before Hyunjin jumps back up, his arms still around your arm. A large tipsy smile creeps on his face and he suddenly begins to giggle. The way his eyes light up almost makes you do the same.
“I think Jisoo is going to ask me out~” He sighs dreamily.  “I feel the vibes, you can feel it too, right?” 
You catch the way two of your friends, Changbin and Jisung, are watching you from the kitchen door. Sticking your tongue out at them, they return it with winks, eyeing up both you and Hyunjin. 
You turn back to the giggly blond clinging to your arm and shrug. “I’m not sure. I don’t really see her around campus.”
You’re not trying to sound like you’re completely disinterested in what Hyunjin’s saying, but when you already know where it’s heading, you can’t help it. You’re not really sure Hyunjin is even listening though when he sighs to himself and tugs on your arm again. 
“This is—” tug. “My chance—” tug. “For my Christmas romance, Y/Nie.” A harder tug.  “I can feel it in the air!” Aggressive shaking.
Breaking your arm away from him, you huff. Can’t you have one night before Hyunjin’s constant babbling about Christmas and Christmas romances?
“Can we wait till after Halloween to talk about Christmas, please?” you groan, causing Hyunjin to sneer at you. 
“Why do you have to be such a Grinch?” he attempts to whisper—but his intoxicated brain has other ideas. 
You attempt to ignore the feeling of his arms sneakily slipping around your waist again and the way his head seems to fit into the dip of your shoulder as you sigh.
“Ask me about it again tomorrow.” 
You really didn’t think the night could get any worse. But after corralling Hyunjin, who could barely stand on his own, back to his dorm, you were proven wrong. So, so wrong.
When you finally untangle yourself from his hold and hand him off to his poor roommate, Felix, it’s 11:58pm. Normally, you wouldn’t care to watch the clock for something so mundane, but you had a feeling he was going to text you the minute you look away.
And sure enough, the second you leave Hyunjin’s dorm building, you feel your phone vibrate in your hoodie pocket.
Hyunnie : it’s november 1st Hyunnie : it’s christmas time bitch!! Hyunnie : ah Hyunnie : sorry for calling you a bitch… Hyunnie : i got excited TT
You can only roll your eyes fondly. At least it’s November now.
one.
– november 1st.
Hyunjin feels sticky. 
Every year he rejoices at the start of the Christmas season, but every year he also forgets that the start is the one part he hates. The morning is so nice and icy-cold, everything sweater weather should be. But by midday… the sweater has to come off. Then he’s sweating in places he shouldn’t be, he’s itching all over, and he’s all grumpy and gross and he just wants to shower twenty times to try and rid himself of the feeling of his clothes clinging to his skin. 
He can see his breath just past his nose as he tries to rid his shoes of the mush that is the remains of fallen leaves. He knows he shouldn’t have worn his pristine white sneakers that you had gotten him for his birthday earlier that year (ones that he, not to mention, cleans frantically after every use). But they go so well with his dark grey jeans that he had to! The things he does for his passion for fashion…
When Jisoo first messaged him asking to meet up by the trees, it felt like a dream come true, one he’s been waiting for for so long. But now that he’s here, he’s not sure how long he’s been waiting, but he feels like he’s a Sim with stink lines coming off of him and he wants to scream. His controller must hate him because nothing is going as he planned. 
So when he finally sees Jisoo in the distance, he lets out a sigh of relief. He sees her try and keep her bag on her shoulder as she rushes over. When she’s finally in front of him, with strands of hair stuck to her face, her mouth slightly open as she tries to catch her breath… all Hyunjin does is blink. 
If you had asked him a week ago, he would have found this adorable. He would have screamed in her face and pinched her cheeks, before running to his dorm and spamming your texts about how Jisoo is the cutest girl he’s ever seen and how his heart has never beaten as fast as it does around her. 
But now he’s standing there, with the love of his life right in front of him, and he feels… wrong. There’s murky puddles and soggy leaves surrounding his and Jisoo’s feet, an angry draft blows past his ears as he tries to read Jisoo’s lips, and a stifling blanket that’s the same dirty shade of grey as his dryer lint trap smothers him from overhead. Nothing feels right, he feels icky, and his heart is fluttering for all the wrong reasons. All he wants to do is run off into the sunset, and not with her.
He barely even hears her as the whole world moves in fast forward while he stands there completely still. And he doesn’t even remember what he says before he walks away, his shoulder brushing against Jisoo’s in the process. He doesn’t even turn back when he hears her call out to him multiple times. 
He’s sure that when he tells you his over-dramatised version of what he assumes was Jisoo’s confession, you’ll do your exaggerated laugh that makes you snort and then complain that you snorted. You’ll look at him in a way that screams ‘I told you so,’ and he hates it so much that he considers not telling you at all.
But even he knows he’s a blabbermouth and as soon as he lays his eyes on you, the words will fall out of his mouth before he even has a chance to think. 
So he goes to the nearest pizza place by your dorm, and he orders your usual: half cheese, half pepperoni. You’re too indecisive to pick just one, so you get both. He orders his own pizza too and he sits and waits, stripping himself of his scarf and his hat before shoving it into his backpack and playing around with his hair, trying to get it to look right before his order is called. 
When he’s finally outside your door, he doesn’t bother to knock—he walks straight in and calls out for you. You rush out of your room, an oversized hoodie covering your frame with your hood up. 
“Damn it, Hyun, can’t you call before you show up uninvited?” you huff, instantly eyeing up the pizzas. “What would you have done if I wasn’t here?” 
Hyunjin shrugs. He knows there’s no way you’d be anywhere else. Your friends are his friends and they’re all in class or with their own significant others… not that that matters…
He hands you your own pizza and smiles at the way you smile when you fall onto the couch and stuff the first slice into your mouth. A muffled ‘thank you’ somehow escapes your lips. Gulping it down, you wipe your mouth with your sleeve, causing Hyunjin to curl his lip in disgust.
“Why are you here, anyway?” you ask before tearing off another bite of pizza.
“No reason.” He’s trying his best to do a Mary-Kate and Ashley and keep his lips sealed, but it’s no use. 
You just blink at him until the dam finally bursts. 
“Jisoo confessed to me and I turned her down.”
Still blinking, you furrow your eyebrows as you look at him in confusion. “But… isn’t that what you wanted?” 
Hyunjin keeps his eyes locked on the pizza slice he’s playing with aimlessly instead of actually eating. He can’t even explain how he’s feeling. He wanted, no, dreamed of the perfect confession, and he blew his chance. Because of… bad vibes? How do you even explain that?
“I… I don’t know,” he mumbles. He sighs, dropping the pizza box on his lap as he throws his head back against the couch to look up at the ceiling. “It just…” He pauses. “It wasn’t what I thought it would be.” 
“Is a confession ever going to be perfect, though?”
Hyunjin sits up instantly at the question. The way he moves so suddenly makes you jump, but he doesn’t mean to scare you. He’s just very… passionate…  about the subject. ‘Passionate’ may not be enough to describe it.
“Of course it can be!” He has to stop himself from blabbing too much. He’s sure you’re tired of hearing his speeches about this, so he just gives you the short version. “It’s the biggest moment of any relationship! With the right person, it’s always going to be perfect. Like, you know in your heart when it’s right, and…” he sighs, “I didn’t feel that.” 
He looks at you, and you nod. “Then… maybe you didn’t like her as much as you thought you did?” 
Hyunjin falls against the couch again. His voice comes out as a whine this time, “But that was my last chance at a Christmas romance!” 
Is he being dramatic? Maybe a little, Hyunjin figures. He’s just lucky it’s you he’s ranting to, because the most you do in response to this is huff and give him a look. If it was one of mutual friends, they would have slapped some sense into him by now. Metaphorically, at least… hopefully.
“This isn’t your last chance at a Christmas romance, you know that right?” you say. “You’re acting like this is your last Christmas, period.” 
He sinks somehow further into the couch. “Okay, fine.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “My last college Christmas romance.” 
“You didn’t have one last year? Why does it matter now?” you ask, reaching once more for your pizza. 
“Because it’s our final year!! That’s kind of the point of it being the final chance, Y/N.” 
Hyunjin knows you mean well, but you rolling your eyes at him as you shove another bite into your mouth isn’t helping his plight. He can’t help but frown at you, though, not only because of your reaction, but now because you’re talking with your mouth full.
“Here’s an idea,” you gulp down some of the pizza stuffed in your cheeks, “just fake it till you make it. Get someone to fake date you.” 
It takes a second for Hyunjin to process what you say. But when he does, he gasps loudly and sits up even faster than last time. He turns and grabs hold of your shoulders so fast that it takes all of your force not to fall backwards.
“You’re a genius!”
You smirk, shrugging your shoulders. “I know. No need to remind me.” 
The look of disgust returns and Hyunjin slowly moves his hands away from your shoulders like you just infected him with something. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 
“We both know it’s true, though.” 
“I hate you.” 
“I hate me too.” 
He ignores your self-degrading comment and sighs. His arms find their way to cross themselves over his chest once more and he thinks to himself for a minute. He has a world of possibilities at his fingertips, but he knows exactly what he wants to do. Just… he doesn’t know how to say it. Might as well just rip the bandaid.
“So when’s our first fake date?”
You cough out whatever pizza you had left in your mouth and it takes you a moment to catch your breath again. When you finally have a moment to breathe, you look at Hyunjin. “Our what?!” 
Hyunjin simply blinks at you. He just asked the most obvious question in the world, and you’re looking at him like you just asked him to solve a derivative. He doesn’t even remember what that is.
You motion for him to continue, but he’s still blinking. “What?” he says.
“When I suggested fake dating someone, I didn’t mean me!”
“Of course it has to be you!” he frantically tries to explain.  “I-I can’t just ask a random person to fake date me when I have no idea who they are!” 
“So you just assume I’d say ‘yes’?!” 
“Oh, come on, please!” he begs, actually getting down on the floor in front of you. He links his hands together as he whips out his best puppy dog eyes. 
He waits and goes still and keeps giving you that cartoonish pleading stare. Then, you sigh.
“I feel like I get nothing out of this. You get your fake Christmas romance and what do I get? A fake boyfriend I didn’t ask for?” 
He goes still again. He thinks hard about anything that will get you to agree. He’ll pull out the big guns, if he has to. And that’s what he does, and based on the terrified look on your face, he’s sure he has a crazed gleam in his eyes when he says it.
“I’ll never complain about not having or finding a Christmas romance again!” 
Hyunjin can’t believe he said that. You stare at him, he’s staring at you. He’s sure you don’t believe him.
“Come on!” he huffs. “Don’t look at me like that!”
“You can’t keep anything to yourself, you really believe you’d be able to keep that?” 
Hyunjin nods frantically.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he hears you mutter before looking him in the eyes. “Fine. I’ll do it.” 
Hyunjin’s up in another flash, pushing you with all his weight against the couch as he hugs you even tighter. 
“THANK YOU!! You’re the best!!” 
And in the next moment, he’s standing, his hand out for you to take. “Let's go!” A confident beam is plastered on his face. He can’t say the same for you.
“Huh?”
You just keep staring at his outstretched hand. Knowing you’re not going to move, Hyunjin just huffs and grabs your hand, pulling you to the front door.
“On our first date, decorating your dorm!!” 
“HUH?!”
As you walk through the store, Hyunjin has his fingers entwined with yours so tightly that you almost think he’s cutting off blood flow. It’s almost as if he was afraid you’d change your mind and disappear if he let go. 
He beelines towards the Christmas decorations. You don’t know why he insisted on buying more when you still have the stuff that he made you get last year—you just forgot where you put it. But you live in a tiny college dorm, so it’s not like you had many places to look.
It’s whatever, you guess. You don't bother to question what’s going through his mind right now. It won’t end well if you do.
Hyunjin’s other hand is pushing an extra large cart you're sure you don’t need, but he got it anyway. He can’t possibly be thinking of filling up the whole cart, can he? You live in a college dormitory. Only so much can fit.
After what seems like a lifetime, you’re both in front of the Christmas decorations. With his hand still stuck to yours like glue, he starts to examine each set of decorations with his other hand, holding it up close to his eyes as if he doesn’t have perfect vision. 
“What are you doing?” you ask. 
“Checking,” he mutters, placing a box of lights back down on the shelf before picking up another one.
“Checking for…?” 
He huffs, drops his shoulders, and stares at you with nothing behind his eyes. “The perfect lights. They shouldn’t be broken and we need to know they’ll shine bright enough.” 
“They’re lights, Hyun,” you respond simply. “It doesn’t matter if they’re perfect or not.” 
Pushing your lips into a line, you stare at each other in silence for a moment or two—honestly, you’re not too sure how long the moment actually is. Hyunjin just looks away, placing the box of lights back onto the shelf. 
“You’re relying too much on everything being perfect.” 
You feel the way his grip tightens around your hand. He stays silent, picking up another box of lights before placing them in the shopping cart. “These are perfect,” he says, ignoring your words. “We should get these.” 
He pushes the cart further down whilst dragging you along in the process. Picks up another set of lights, checks them, and puts them down, before repeating this a few times before he’s happy with the one he’s decided on. He does this for many of the tinsel, for some random ornaments, and for random chocolates and candy canes to hang on the tree. 
You’re fiddling on your phone when he tugs on your hand, causing you to look up at him. In his free hand are two mini stuffed animal ornaments. He’s gazing at them with a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.
“It’s us.” His eyes find yours. There’s a softness to his voice that compliments the warm smile he gives you. “We should get them… they’re perfect.” 
This time, you squeeze his hand back. His smile infects you, and you’re unable to do anything but return it. Nodding, you return your gaze back to the two little stuffed ornaments. “They are perfect… like us.” 
“There’s that smile I missed so much!” he says sarcastically.
“Aaaand moment ruined.”
You tug at his hand, trying to get them to finally unlink. The sweat forming in between them is getting a bit much. 
“You can��t escape from me that easily,” Hyunjin says with a smoulder.
“Ew,” you fake gag. “You’ve been hanging out with Jisung too much. Only he makes the fuckboy thing work, bestie.” 
“Bestie- zoned?” Hyunjin gasps, his over-dramatic look you’re so accustomed to taking over his features. “I thought I was your boyfriend?” 
Your smile drops and you want to smack him and his teasing into next week. “FAKE boyfriend.” 
He turns from you as he hisses to you or himself—you’re not really sure which—before he pulls you further down the aisle. 
“You’re no fun.”
two.
– november 3rd.
Looking around your dorm makes you want to throw up. 
After Hyunjin took you (read: dragged you) shopping the other day, the boy immediately took the bags of stuff to your dorm and started plastering the stuff everywhere. Now, the room is filled to the brim with golden lights and colourful tinsel, and your little desk tree was just as flashy. Considering that your space is a tiny college dorm, it makes the space feel a bit suffocating, but not unenjoyable.
You fear Hyunjin took “deck the halls” a little too far and that your dorm will catch on fire because of it, not just because of the three separate Christmas candles Hyunjin insisted on buying, but also because of how dangerously close they were to the tinsel. You wonder what your roommate, Yeri, would say about this. Actually, you’re not entirely sure when you last saw her.
You aren’t able to dwell much longer on the thought as a knock followed by a crash and yelp pulls you out of your own head. You hurry to the door and open it to find none other than your Christmas menace, Hyunjin, sprawled on his butt in front of you. Bags with what appear to be baking ingredients are spread all over the ground around him. 
“Hey~” is the only thing he says, a sheepish smile on his face, as you stare at him incredulously. 
“What’s all this?”
“It’s…” he starts as you help him up, then trails off once he’s upright. He bends down to pick up a bag of chocolate chips by his feet, then he looks at you and holds them out proudly. “…Our next date!”
You roll your eyes fondly at the boy. Of course, he already thought up a second date idea so soon. Knowing him, he’s probably been planning this since he got home after the first date.
But still, you can’t help but crack a smile. Baking cookies seems like a fun little fake date—after all, it’s hard to make Christmas cookies into some sappy Hallmark scene. Plus, you get to keep half the batch at the end.
What could go wrong?
As you help pick up the rest of the ingredients off the floor, you notice a neatly folded piece of paper fall out of Hyunjin’s pocket. You stick it in your pocket before placing a milk carton and a brown sugar pack on the kitchen island, then you take out and unfold the paper, squinting as you read it.
“Is this… Felix’s recipe?” you say. The distinct way he loops his ‘Y’s gives it away for you.
“N… No…” Hyunjin tries to convince you, but his statement comes out as more of a question than a definitive answer.
You give him another incredulous look.
“Okay, fine, it is!” he huffs, throwing his head back dramatically. “I begged him for the recipe so we could try to make it together. His cookies always come out great, so it can’t be that hard!” He grins confidently, but that facade quickly fades. “…Right?”
A smile returns to your lips. “Right! Yeah!” You’re afraid your smile looks more nervous than confident, though. “Totally…”
“We can do it! I think…”
Hyunjin laughs a little, and you follow too, even if it feels somewhat forced.
“And if we fail, we’ll just get the store-bought ones!” he adds. “Easy as pie.” A small smile dances on his lips. “Anything for my favourite girlfriend~” he sings, winking at you playfully.
Any hint of your smile, real or not, drops at the sentence.
“Fake girlfriend.”
“Potayto, potahto. Now help me with the batter.”
“Are you sure you’re doing this right?” you say.
Instead of jumping into baking right away, you and Hyunjin have spent the past ten minutes overwhelmed over the instructions Felix provided. It’s not that they’re difficult or anything—fifteen steps to make some cookies just feels like a lot. 
Especially to two beginners, one of which is struggling to cut a one-pound stick of butter in half with a cleaver. You’re left to watch Hyunjin nearly slice his fingers as he tries, a near-grimace twisted on your face.
“I got it, I got it!” Hyunjin grunts as he tries to push the cleaver down.  “Almost… there…”
The way his fingers are so dangerously close to the blade makes you wince. After another moment, you can’t take watching him anymore.
“Oh my god, give me the knife.”
In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to shoo Hyunjin away from the cleaver while he’s holding it for dear life. Knowing him, he could’ve found a way to cut himself even after he let go. Luckily, you both remain unscathed and you successfully cut the butter in half.
“What’s next?” Hyunjin asks as he watches you cut one of the halves. He peeks at the recipe over your shoulder.
You scan the paper for the next step, moving it quickly so he can see, too. “Looks like the… dry ingredients? We can start with the flour, I guess.”
“Flour…”
Hyunjin hums along with “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande as he digs through the ingredient pile on the island. You glance up and find yourself giggling at the silly hand gestures he makes.
“Flour coming right…” he announces, letting out a grunt as he lifts the giant bag, “…up!”
You set the cleaver aside and rush to help him carry the bag. “Why’d you buy the ten kilogram bag?!”
“I didn’t know how much we needed!” He lets out a dramatic huff once you both get the bag on a stool.
“I’m pretty sure a normal-sized bag would have been enough, Hyun.”
“Look,” Hyunjin huffs again and runs a hand through his hair, “I’ve learned from Felix, alright? This is serious cookie and movie date business and we can’t make mistakes.” 
Fake cookie date.
“But there’s going to be mistakes, that’s just how it is.” You shrug, carefully opening the bag, then letting out a sigh as a lump of flour falls out onto the floor. “Just think, Felix’s recipes weren’t perfect straight away—” 
Hyunjin cuts you off with a gasp. A hand flies over his heart as he stares at you with betrayal. “Excuse you, they’ve always been great. You’re lucky I wouldn’t tell him you said that.”
You decide not to say anything else, but get the flour ready to sieve into the mixture. “Do you want to do this or I?” 
Even though he still has too much energy, he gently pushes you out of the way and takes the sieve from your hands. “Me, me, me.” 
Without bothering to do anything else, he takes a handful of flour and dumps it into a sieve and starts tapping at the side of it. 
“Hyunjin!” you gasp, “We could at least measure it first!” 
“Live a little, Y/N!” Hyunjin sways to the music. “You said nothing has to be perfect right away! I’m trying to follow your advice.” 
You blink, half-laughing, half-scoffing. “I didn’t mean to not follow the recipe! We still have to, you know.”
Hyunjin doesn’t say anymore, he just continues to sieve the flour into the bowl. However, by the bridge of the song, he’s so into it that he’s nearly forgotten what he’s doing. While he goes on autopilot, the flour soon enough misses the bowl entirely and lands on the kitchen counter and over his shoes. 
“Oops,” he giggles. 
“I’m baking with a child,” you mutter to yourself, arms crossed over your chest. 
He picks up another handful of the flour and looks down at the mixture before looking over at you. He stares at you, you stare at him. It’s like a silent battle. 
“Don’t you dare.” 
He does dare. However, instead of throwing it at you, he throws it up; and instead of landing on you directly, it falls lightly to the floor, just barely falling into your socks. He grins and a giggle escapes his lips. 
Whatever self-control you have leaves you at that moment and you grab your own handful of flour. As you step forward, he steps back, causing you to raise an eyebrow. 
“You’re not scared… are you?” you question.
He scoffs. “Me? Scared?” He fakes a cackle. “Never!” 
You take another step forward. He takes another back. 
“So you wouldn’t mind if I—” 
Rushing forward, you push your hand into his cheek, letting the flour fall from your hand and over him. Some of the remnants left on his cheek fall as he huffs. 
“That’s it.” He grabs another scoop. “You’re on.” 
You have exactly two seconds to decide what to do before Hyunjin stalks toward you, a mischievous grin on his face and handful of flour held high. You turn and start to scramble away from him right as he pounces, trying to grab you so he can dump the flour on your head.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He giggles tauntingly. “Don’t you want a hug from your loving boyfriend~?” 
“Fake boyfriend!” you call over your shoulder.
Trying desperately not to trip, you make a mad dash for the living room, Hyunjin’s cackles ring in your ears as he bounds closer. You get two more big steps in and just as you’re about to leap for the couch, a strong arm wraps itself around your middle and pulls you back. 
“Got you~” Hyunjin’s voice is right next to your ear and you can practically hear him smirking in victory. You wriggle around, trying to free yourself but it’s to no avail. 
You’re able to turn just enough to face him and send him the glare he deserves. He just faces you, narrowing his eyes for a second, then that look falls to a more disapproving one.
“Are you ready to follow the recipe now?” the boy asks sassily.
You want to smack his pretty face so bad.
“I hate you.”
Surprisingly, Hyunjin keeps his word and actually follows Felix’s recipe, word-for-word. You’re happy with how the balls of cookie dough turned out, even though you just placed them in the oven—and don’t tell Hyunjin, but you ate a bit of the dough. It’s too good.
“And now we wait twelve minutes,” you declare as you start a timer on your phone. You leave it on the island and head over to the living room.
You watch, baffled, as Hyunjin spreads out tattered-looking physical copies of a bunch of Christmas movies over your coffee table. Once they’ve landed in a heap, he turns back and looks at you, the same way a dog does when it thinks it's done something incredible. 
To say you’re confused as to why he brought over DVDs when you could just rent the movies online is an understatement. Especially when he knew full well that you somehow had access to Chan’s Netflix account—you hacked it, but is it really hacking when his password is ilovefelix143?
Hyunjin’s eyebrows basically merge. Instead of being a little happy puppy, he’s now like a puppy with his tail stuck between his legs. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 
Your eyes shift from him to the movies and back.
“You…” sigh. “You know we have Netflix, right?” 
“That’s not the same thing,” he whines. “And you know it! The vibe will be totally off if we watch them all on Netflix!”
You might as well be a fan of BlackPink because all you can do is blink. “And it won’t be if we watch them on DVD?” 
Rising his fist, Hyunjin grabs your shoulder to shake you lightly. As you attempt to push him away, his grip somehow gets tighter. 
“Just pick,” shake. “one to,” he tugs your arm. “ start with!” 
“Alright!” You huff, flailing your arms around to finally get him to drop his grip. You point in a random direction. “That one!” 
It’s his turn to blink. “You’re not pointing at shit and you know it.” 
With a movie finally picked out, the title screen theme of The Muppets’ Christmas Carol begins to repeat as Hyunjin is in the kitchen getting the cookies out of the oven. However, after the fifth repeat, you’re ready to pull your hair strand by strand from your head. 
“Are you almost ready?!” you call out to him. “This music is driving me insane!”
Part of you wants to complain more, but you bite your tongue. It could’ve been worse—it could’ve been the theme of When Harry Met Sally on repeat.
Hyunjin appears at the door, tray in hand. “You can’t really go mad if you’re already there.” 
If it wasn’t a threat to the precious cookies currently residing in the tray in his hands, you would have thrown every pillow on this couch at him. 
“You say I’m mean to you, but then this is how you treat me!” You gasp, watching as he rolls his eyes.
You catch the way his lip turns up into a smirk when he sets down the tray of cookies on the coffee table. 
“I’m so sorry my precious girlfriend, whom I care so deeply about, how can I ever repay you?”  
It’s go time. Grabbing the pillow, you aim and whack him over and over as he falls onto the couch, his arms up in protest, but his laughter is still loud enough to seep into your ears. “Not the face! I’m too beautiful to die this young!” 
“I,” whack. “hate,” you huff and raise the pillow above your head. “you,” whack. “so much!” 
He somehow grabs the pillow, pulling it towards him. But with his strength, he accidentally pulls you forward, causing you to fall onto his chest. Like on instinct, his arms wrap around you tightly to stop you from falling off of the couch. 
You feel his breath on your ear as he lets out a chuckle and it makes a tingle run up your spine.
“I know you love me.” 
You’re up in a flash, using all of your strength to push him off of the couch and onto the floor. 
“AHH!!!”
You snicker at the loud shriek Hyunjin makes. Plopping your bum on the couch, you shoot your fake boyfriend a petty stare as you reach for a cookie and, very slowly, take a huge bite.
Holy shit. You’ve never tasted a cookie so good before. The way the gooey, melty goodness dances in your mouth is so addictive, you barely notice Hyunjin giving you a death glare from the floor.
“What?” you say with your mouth full, reaching for the remote.
“That’s supposed to be our batch,” he sneers nasally, as if he’s Squidward himself. You try not to spit out the food in your mouth.
“Not anymore.” You point the remote at the TV and hit ‘play’. “You can get the next batch.”
three.
– november 10th.
“Can we let go for a bit?” you mumble, causing Hyunjin to look at you. “My hand is getting sweaty.” 
“Oh, sorry,” Hyjnjin gasps, looking down at your hands. He lets go and rubs his palm against his jeans to wipe off the stickiness that has formed.
“Why are we holding hands so early, anyway?” you ask. “I know we’re telling the guys we’re ‘dating’ today, but they’re not even here yet.” 
Hyunjin blinks at you, takes your hand again, and entwines your fingers. “Because we have to make it look believable from a distance.” 
You try not to laugh. “You think they’ll even notice if we’re holding hands?”
He shrugs, locking eyes with the student worker that’s staring in your general direction. He attempts to follow their gaze. It seems like they’re looking at his and your hands. They could also just be waiting for the microwave oven to ding so they can serve someone their bagel. You never know, though.
“I mean,” he gestures to the cafe worker, “if that person notices, then our friends probably will.”
You raise an eyebrow. “I don’t think that person cares.”
“For Hyunjin?” another cafe worker calls.
With your hand still in his, Hyunjin gently pulls you with him to pick up a freshly-made sandwich for you, and bagel for him. He mumbles a ‘thank you’ before grabbing some napkins and heading for the seating area, scooting past students to the table for four he set his backpack on to call dibs. When the college cafe is always packed for lunch, claiming a table was more than necessary.
Hyunjin presses a finger to his chin as he thinks of where to sit, which chair will allow him optimal coupley vibes. After a moment of contemplation, he chooses one of the seats right by the window.
This prompts you to move to the one opposite of him. But before you can sit down, Hyunjin reaches across the table to grab your wrist.
“No! Sit on this side,” he says, gently tugging your arm.
“Why?”
“I told you, we have to make it believable! Remember?”
It’s a perfect plan. If Hyunjin acts as utterly sappy as possible, his and your friends will surely fall for it. What better way to scream ‘lovesick college couple’ than to sit on the same side of the table together? 
Also, how do you hold hands with someone who’s sitting across from you? Spoiler: you don’t.
But for now, you both eat. You plop down on the chair next to Hyunjin, albeit begrudgingly at first, and you end up finishing your sandwich fairly quickly. Hyunjin, however, takes his time. Not because he’s not hungry—he’s starving. But having half a bagel to work his way through is good in case things get awkward later on.
See? Perfect.
Soon enough, Hyunjin catches two familiar heads enter the cafe. He reaches for your hand under the table, lacing his fingers with yours when you take his hand with a sigh. He even considers subtly scooting his chair over to be even closer to you. Something in the dark crevices of his mind keeps begging him to do it. He’s not even sure why, but he scolds at that voice to wait a moment.
His eyes carefully follow Changbin and Jisung as they get out of line. They both wave at him, and he awkwardly waves back before they turn to each other.
After what feels like an eternity, Changbin steps up to the counter to grab two bagels. Then he follows Jisung to your table.
“What’s up, sweetcheeks?” Jisung says.
Hyunjin glances at you and when you look back, you make an expression as if to tell him ‘go on then’. Hyunjin however, decides against that, turning his attention back to the two boys sitting across from them. 
Changbin’s already stuck half of the bagel in his mouth to the point he’s struggling to chew. It’s disgusting, but for some reason it keeps Hyunjin in a trance. When that trance is broken by you swiftly jabbing him in the rib, he winces, glares at you, and looks back over the table. 
“About that,” Hyunjin laughs awkwardly. If he wasn’t already holding your hand, he would have gone for it to try and calm his nerves. 
“What is it?” Jisung asks, ripping a piece of his bagel off and chucking it into his mouth. “You two finally shacking up?” 
Hyunjin sits there stunned, only listening as you groan in disgust. 
“What is wrong with you?” you say.
Jisung smiles and sends a wink to you before leaning back in his seat. “It’s just my talent, baby.” 
Hyunjin keeps his eyes locked on his bag. This is fake, he repeats in his mind after the word ‘baby’ is uttered from Jisung’s lips. Why does it bother him so much? It shouldn’t bother him—it never has before. This isn’t real. It’s just a simple word Jisung has used to refer to literally everyone in your friend group. Hyunjin’s heard worse come from the boy’s mouth. ‘Sweetcheeks’, ‘’bubby wubby’, schmoopy poopy poo’... all Jisung said this time was ‘baby.’
This is fake.
Hyunjin feels you squeeze his hand. He squeezes it back as he finally looks up. You’re looking at him with your eyebrows furrowed, silently asking him what’s wrong.
This isn’t real…
Now his heart burns. He decides to blame it on too much cream cheese on his bagel. 
“What did you want to tell us?” Changbin tries to say as he gulps down his bagel before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 
Hyunjin glances over at you, and then back to his friends. He raises your enjoined hands. 
“So… we’re dating!” 
Changbin nearly chokes on his bagel at Hyunjin’s words. He looks up slowly, following your and Hyunjin’s arms up to where your hands meet, and he nods once. “Oh. Well, damn.”
Jisung, on the other hand, takes a moment longer to process the news. But when he does, his jaw slowly drops and he takes in a sharp breath. “Oh. My. GO—”
“Yah, shut up!” Hyunjin leans over across the table to slap a hand over Jisung’s mouth.
“…God,” the younger boy finishes his sentence quietly, his voice muffled.
Hyunjin maintains his stare at the younger boy as he slowly begins to pull back. No more screaming, he begs. He’s had enough of it for the rest of the year.
A tension hangs in the air around the four of them. Changbin goes back to carelessly munching on his bagel, and Jisung is gazing at Hyunjin and you, his very fake girlfriend, with an almost-maniacal smile.
“Soooo…” Jisung starts after a minute. Hyunjin can literally feel him gleefully kicking his legs under the table. “Who confessed first?”
Hyunjin pales at the question. He forgot to go over a cover story with you.
Luckily, before he can struggle to give an answer, Changbin swoops in and unknowingly buys him some time.
“Why are you the one who’s happy?” he questions. “I’m the one who won the bet!”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen. “You guys bet on us?!”
“We all did,” Changbin says. “Now Jisung owes half our group ten dollars each.”
“Wait, but we still don’t know who confessed first!” Jisung says.
“Why is that important?” Hyunjin says.
“‘Cause it was part of the bet, too!” 
Hyunjin stills again and looks at you helplessly. He squeezes your hand as if to signal that he needs you to come up with something, and fast. Something about how he had the most magical confession to end all confessions during the first snow that didn’t even happen yet this year.
“I-It was me,” you finally say.
Hyunjin has to stop himself from looking at you in surprise.
Jisung gasps loudly again. He’s so wholly entranced, Hyunjin doesn’t know how lucky he should consider himself for it. “Really?” 
Hyunjin watches as you clear your throat before nodding. You smile in a way that he swears he’s never seen before. You tilt your head and break your eye contact with Jisung to look over at him, then you look back at Jisung. 
“You expect him to confess?” You giggle lightly, gesturing to Hyunjin. “All he talks about is how he wants someone to confess to him.”
The two boys across from them are just nodding in agreement. That is true, Hyunjin thinks. He’s probably been talking about that since he started college, maybe even before. He can’t really describe the feelings that come from somebody confessing their feelings to you. 
“And…” you continue, “after the failed confession with Jisoo, I realised I should take it as a sign to confess.” 
You’re smiling to yourself as you shrug your shoulders, keeping your eyes down on the table. Hyunjin has never seen you act—and act this well. Jisung and Changbin are totally hooked, nodding along to everything you’re saying. They’re like two little children listening to a bedtime story doing everything they can to stay awake. You’ve got them wrapped around your pinky finger.
Hyunjin’s gaze focuses on your hand in his. He brings them to his lap and begins to play with your fingers, letting your words between the boys fade into the background. His mind is still lingering around the thoughts of Jisoo and the failed confession. 
He still isn’t completely sure what happened there. Why his crush, whom he was sure he was in love with, faded so quickly and so suddenly. He never thought falling out of like—or love—with someone could be that easy… but if he thought about it too much, he’d probably worry about the possibility of love. He decides that’s not a thought for now. 
“Woah,” Jisung says, his mouth hanging open. “That’s crazy.”
“That means you owe us another five dollars, genius,” Changbin says.
Jisung quickly turns to Changbin. “Let me grieve for my wallet first!” Hyunjin watches as Jisung rests his head in his hands in despair. 
“Why would you even bet on Hyunjin confessing first?” You can’t help but laugh. “You set yourself up for failure.” 
“Because maybe I had faith in him!!” Jisung exclaims, looking up at you. “I thought he’d have it in him!”
You glance at Hyunjin, smile sheepishly, and look back at the two boys that sit across the table from you.
“Well you should have known him better.”
“Ooookay,” Hyunjin says, suddenly moving to stand. “We, um, we gotta get going.” He turns to you, hoping you get the message. “Right, Y/N?”
You nod quickly and stand up too. “Yeah, we were gonna have a study date together,” you say as you gather your things.
“Okay, have fun,” Changbin says coolly.
“But we were just getting started!” Jisung counters.
Hyunjin lets out a sigh. “We’ll tell you guys everything tomorrow, okay?”
Jisung’s eyes narrow and he raises an eyebrow. The way he’s staring Hyunjin down is making him want to shrink up and hide. 
After a moment of awkwardness on Hyunjin’s part, Jisung opens his mouth to speak. 
“Tell us everything?” 
“Define ‘everything’, Ji,” you respond before Hyunjin has the chance to. 
“Everything means everything,” Jisung drawls out. “Like, come on guys, give us the details! The nitty gritty of it all!” He’s now leaning over the table as he pleads. “I just wanna know all about my two best friends’ relationship! Is that so weird?!” 
You share a look with Hyunjin. You’re giggling, rolling your eyes as you look back over at the boy. “Find your own girlfriend, Ji, don’t live through our relationship.” 
Jisung huffs, falling back into his chair with his arms crossed. “You guys are no fun.”
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” you say, and you both wave at the two boys. Changbin happily responds and Jisung, still grumpy, begrudgingly waves back. 
Luckily, this seems to be enough for you and Hyunjin to leave. Hyunjin swings your hands lightly, fingers still entwined, as the cafe door shuts behind you with a small squeak. 
There is no study date. There wasn’t really any regular ‘date’ planned—not unless the confessing? lying? to your friends counts. 
Regardless, you and Hyunjin look at each other and silently agree. You both deserve a sweet treat after that.
four.
– november 17th.
You wouldn’t dare tell Hyunjin, but once he told you about his “fantastical Friday date idea” earlier this afternoon, you’ve been feeling like a bottle of Coke about to explode.
Sure, he’s been a little crazy about hitting all the stereotypical Christmas romance activities, but this is ice skating! It’s fun and it’s romantic enough to scratch Hyunjin’s itch, but not too romantic. You’re only fake-boyfriend and fake-girlfriend, after all.
“Y/N?”
Hyunjin waves a hand in front of your face, bringing you out of your daze. You must have been staring at the fake icicles for too long.
“Huh? Yeah?” you say, blinking a few times.
He holds up two pairs of rental ice skates, one for you and one for him. “I already paid, let’s go put these on.”
You wander over to the benches where other skaters are lacing up. They make it look so effortless, but you and Hyunjin keep getting your fingers tangled in the long laces. And every time you attempt to stand up, your ankles feel so wobbly that you have to sit back down and tighten them. 
Eventually, your skates feel secure enough that you don’t wobble too much when you do make it to your feet. You look over at Hyunjin, who doesn’t look like he’s faring any better than you. 
“Do you think you can get up?” you ask. You’re starting to figure out how to balance, but you hold on to the edge of a table just in case.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin hums confidently. However, the deer-in-headlights look on his face as he slowly lifts his bum off the bench says otherwise. You’d laugh at him more than you already are if you didn’t do the same.
“Are you sure you can get up?”
“Totally!”
As if to prove you wrong, Hyunjin slowly begins to stand up. When he’s upright, he lifts one hand off the bench, then the other. Then he slowly shuffles one foot after the other in the direction of the rink, until he loses balance and nearly falls into the splits.
You try not to snort at his cry that echoes throughout the rink. Of course, you do the same as you try to follow him and your dear best friend returns the favour.
“HAH! Karma!” Hyunjin points and laughs at you before slipping and falling on his back.
“Hyunjin!” you exclaim, shuffling over to help him up.
“I’m fine!” he tries to reassure you once he’s upright again. He reaches for your hand as he waddles his way to the rink, this time successfully, and with you in tow.
You let out the breath you’re holding once your other hand finds the edge of the wall. Maybe you came into the rink too cocky, or maybe the old couple doing laps around you and Hyunjin made this look easy.
After you recenter yourself—well, after trying to—you look at Hyunjin, who has a death grip on your hand. “Are you okay?”
“Yep!” The boy smiles. “Very fine!” He slowly lets go of your hand, attempting to get away from the wall. He’s successful for a few seconds, then he finds himself wobbling again and he quickly grabs onto your arm.
Giggling, you try to shake him off. “Hyun, you’re gonna make me fall, too!”
He doesn’t respond for a beat. When you turn to look back at him, his legs are shaking, but he’s got a stupid smirk plastered on his face. Even when he’s visibly struggling, of course he has to do this.
“Oh, am I?”
You roll your eyes. “Oh, fuck off.”
You try to free your hand again. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter, and he manages to slide his hand down your arm and thread his fingers with yours.
“You’re gonna be wishing you’re holding my hand soon enough,” Hyunjin muses.
“Whatever you say, fake boyfriend,” you sigh sarcastically.
The old couple passes you by again; they seem to be out-skating every couple on the ice by this point. As they go in circles together, they show off their best disco moves as if they were on roller skates instead. The old man, as he swings past you two a second time, makes a heart with his hands behind the old woman, pumping it in the air to the beat of “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber as his wife continues to dance.
You don’t look back at Hyunjin, but you can imagine the stars in his eyes as he watches them. Instead, you pay attention to the way they move their feet. Push out with your right foot, then with your left. Right, left, right, left. With Hyunjin still gripping on tightly to your hand, you attempt to copy it.
“H-Hey!” Hyunjin squeaks from behind you. “What are you doing?!”
“Trying to get off the wall!” you say. You turn your head to look at him briefly. “You want to be a cute fake couple like those two,” you gesture to the old couple, “right?”
He stumbles over a ‘maybe’, but there’s no denying the way he wistfully watches the old man carefully spin the old woman.
You smile fondly. “Then come on. Watch how they move and try to do the same.”
It takes several laps and several more minutes to get into a rhythm. You can’t say that you’re gliding across the ice, but you’re holding your own without clinging to the wall. Barely. Hyunjin, on the other hand, suddenly seems like a natural. His graceful strides make you question if he was feigning clumsiness half an hour ago, or if he was just that good.
You try to catch up to him as you both make a turn and he looks back to check on you. He smiles at you and holds up a peace sign, flashing you a wink—and you freeze. You were already using all your brainpower to remember to keep moving your feet, and just like that, you forget everything you’re doing.
By the time you snap out of your daze, you’re about to crash into Hyunjin. You yelp, flailing as you try to brake. Hyunjin tries to catch you before you fall flat on your face, but you end up pulling him down with you and falling backwards.
Then you realise the position you’re both in. You’re on your back, and Hyunjin is half on top of you. You’re trying to catch your breath, but the way he tries to prop himself up with his elbows somehow sucks the air out of your lungs all over again.
“Hyun, slow down,” you say as he almost slips again. You catch his arms in yours and lose your breath for a third time. “One foot at a time, okay?”
You swear Hyunjin spaces out as you speak—there’s a gleam in his eyes you can’t quite place. But the gleam goes away just as quickly as it came, and he begins to regain his balance enough to stand up.
He holds out his hands for you and you grab on. He then slowly pulls, allowing you to find a way to get up with a pair of blades on your feet.
When you’re nearly upright, you take a wrong step and feel yourself flying backwards. You flail your arms as you try to prepare to land, but you feel Hyunjin’s arm wrap around your waist and pull you in just in time.
For a second, you feel like you’re in a cheesy Disney movie. The moment happened so fast, but feels so slow in hindsight. Now you’re here, your jaw dropped open in surprise, as your hands find their way to Hyunjin’s shoulders. Is this how Cinderella or something felt—
Wait, what the fuck?
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin says. His eyes search yours for any sign of hurt.
You take a beat to respond, nodding rapidly. “Y-Yeah, I’m okay.”
Hyunjin nods once. “Oookay. Do you wanna keep going?”
Right there, you contemplate just packing up and going back to your dorm. Even though the only one staring at you is Hyunjin, it feels like a thousand pairs of eyes are boring into your soul.
However, something in your heart, or maybe your brain, begs you to stay. So you nod.
five.
– november 20th.
Hyunjin stands and leans against the stairrail by the front of the university library. He’s too busy fiddling with his perfectly curated Christmas playlist, fall in love with me (this christmas), to even notice you pull up in your car. So when you honk the horn, he yelps and falls on his butt, then down a couple stairs, before sending daggers your way.
He watches as your passenger side window rolls down slowly and your shit-eating grin becomes clear from behind it. 
“You ready to go?” you ask.
Hyunjin, still glaring at you, slowly nods his head in response. 
“Then get off your ass!” you say. “You’re the one that wanted to go to this!”
He gets up with a dramatic huff and drags himself to the passenger seat of the car. The second he hops in, he leans forward and grabs your aux cord, plugging it into his phone and unlocks his phone, once again showing the Christmas playlist.
Meanwhile, you watch him in amusement. “You want aux?”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes at your sarcasm. But he answers regardless, too excited about the idea of a Christmas tree farm date. Another thing from his bucket list of Christmas dates to check off.
“Of course I want aux!” 
Clicking shuffle, he cheers to himself when the mystical violin intro of “Christmas Tree Farm" by Taylor Swift begins to play. Clicking twice to make the song repeat, he locks his phone before placing it in one of the free cup holders. 
“This is perfect!” He claps to himself, swaying the best he can to the music as he fastens his seat belt. “🎶And I’m somewhere else… just like magic… 🎶”  he sings along.
He looks over at you and you’re watching him again. This time he can’t tell if it’s in amusement or bafflement. “Can we go now?” 
Hyunjin nods, leaning back into his seat with a content smile. “You could’ve started when I got into the car.”
He lets his gaze linger on you for a second. When you look at him, he quickly looks away. Maybe he’s too impatient, but when he looks back at you a moment later to see if you have finally turned your focus to the road in front of you, you’re still staring right at him.
His cheeks begin to feel warm. Your gaze is practically peering into his soul, and you have your heater on full blast—it feels like a sauna in here. It’s not his fault you get cold so easily. It’s also not his fault a little voice in his head is telling him to use it as an excuse to be near you…
No. Bad Hyunjin.
He quickly shoves the thought away into a neat little box, something future Hyunjin will have to deal with. Right now, all present-day Hyunjin cares about is Miss Swift playing through the speakers.
And so he starts humming, which soon turns to quiet singing. Soon enough, the quiet singing soon turns into full-blown yelling of the lyrics. He’s here for the vibe, and the vibe is immaculate. 
“🎶AND YOU WOULD BE THERE TOOOO~!!🎶”
Good Hyunjin!
“Hyun, shut up! I can’t see the road!” you shout, your voice carrying over the music.
Hyunjin throws his head back in feigned agony. “Okayyy, okay!” he groans before bringing it down to quiet singing for the rest of the song.
When the music fades out, it’s silent for a moment. Hyunjin feels his cheeks hurt from how much he’s smiling. When it starts again, he bounces in his seat.
“Again?” you question, bringing his attention back to you. “Can’t we go to the next song?” 
He gasps and shakes his head. “Nuh-uh! It’s for the vibe, Y/N!” He nods slowly to emphasise his point. “The vibe!” 
You nod, your face full of confusion. “And the vibe is…?”
“That we’re literally going to a Christmas tree farm! Do you know how exciting that is?!” Hyunjin turns right to you as you pull up to a stop sign. He almost gets lost in your eyes when you look back at him. “It’s one of the key Christmas dates in the movies! And there’s a whole song about it!” He lets himself ramble on for a minute, trying not to get too lost in his fantasies. Despite his efforts, he soon feels himself about to spiral…
Then you look away.
Hyunjin lets out a sigh as he glances over at you. You’re focused on the road, your eyes flickering around as you wait for a good time to merge lanes. He knows that you only looked away to continue driving, but deep down, he fears that he pushed you away with his babbling.
He just looks down at his lap before he speaks, his voice trembling slightly. “Look, I… I know you hate Christmas, but—” 
“I don’t hate Christmas…” 
Hyunjin is surprised he can hear you with how quietly you’re talking.
“I…” You sigh. “I just don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with this ‘Christmas romance’ thing. Like, what makes it more special than a romance-romance?” 
“Because…” He takes a breath before releasing it. “Christmas is magical.” 
The song ends. He reaches for his phone and his finger hovers over the pause button.
“Hyunnie, you don’t need to stop the—”
He stops the music, ignoring the sigh you let out when you do.
“It’s just…” he starts, then trails off. “I…”
A beat of silence.
“You…?”
Hyunjin looks at you, trying to read your reaction. It’s hard to tell if your furrowed brow is from concentration or confusion.
“Like…” he starts again, then he sighs.
How would he even begin to explain that the warm, fuzzy feeling he gets from Christmas, is one he’s only ever experienced secondhand? How is he supposed to tell you that he hopelessly projects onto an array of chiselled brunet men in cheesy holiday movies without sounding insane? That he dreams of taking walks in the snow and under the Christmas lights and in Christmas tree farms with someone, like all the male leads on the Hallmark channel seem to do? Will it seem naive? Or childish?
At the same time, though, if all these ordinary guys can find love without even trying… who’s to say he can’t, too?
“It’s… like… why wouldn’t you want that, you know?”
But of course, Hyunjin’s feelings are so grand that he can’t find the words to explain it.
You let out a sigh again, a more sympathetic one this time. “I… I guess? I…”
Hyunjin watches you carefully as you find your words. He realises, a few moments later, that he’s holding his breath. Why is he holding his breath? It’s as if this is a big deal. But it’s not. It’s just you.
You shrug, and something in him twists. “I– I don’t know. I just… I can’t see it for myself.”
A thick silence hangs in the air. It seems to taunt Hyunjin, pointing and laughing at him like the playground bully for even daring to open his mouth. He bites his tongue for another moment or two, thinking of a way to lessen the tension. But after that, he can’t bear the silence anymore. 
The song begins again. Maybe he was right to feel like a child.
By the time you park, the mood inside the car is much colder than the weather outside it. Hyunjin shuts the door behind him and lets it slam, even though he knows you’ll be annoyed about it. He shoves his hands inside his jacket pockets and hides himself the best he can in the collar of his coat. 
In a moment, you’re next to him. Your own hands in your pockets as you silently glaze over the mass of trees that seem to go on for miles. You both stand there for an uncertain amount of time, just utterly blown away by the amount of Christmas trees.
In the corner of his eye, Hyunjin notices you hold out your hand in front of him and leave it there. He stares at it wordlessly, and after a moment or two of nothing, you make grabby hand motions at him like a small child.
“What?” he questions quietly. When he finally looks over at you, you’re too busy staring at the lights beyond the entrance to look back.
“Just come on. We’ve got a date to enjoy…” You pause and take a breath.  “Boyfriend.”
A breath hitches in the back of his throat. You merely mumbled that last word, but Hyunjin heard it loud and clear. You begin to bring your hand closer to his again, motioning silently for him to take it, and he mentally curses at himself for how quickly his lips twitch up into a small smile.
Slowly, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, linking your fingers together. He uses every fibre of his being not to beam like an idiot.
“Where do we start?” you say, not really aiming the question at anyone.
Hyunjin shrugs. “I mean, we can start with the Christmas trees…”
His comment earns a chuckle from you, then a light punch to the arm. It’s a pity chuckle, but he’ll take what he can get. “No shit.”
Chuckling too, he gently tugs at your hand. “Come on, the Christmas tree farm awaits.”
Hyunjin squeezes your hand lightly as he leads you to the counter. He slips a five-dollar bill in the donation jar before walking in the farm with you. The golden lights of the welcome arch surround him with warmth, just like the feeling of your hand in his, as he makes a beeline for the rows of Christmas trees.
To Hyunjin, you seem content with him guiding you around all of the large Christmas trees, even when he takes longer than necessary to take in the waft of fresh pine coming from a few of them. He tries to hold back at first, but eventually he stops at a tree and comments on how much prettier it would look with a string of colourful lights and candy canes lining its needles. Then you two stop at the next tree, and he babbles about how fun it would be to have a real tree one year.
He’s sure he has stars in his eyes much brighter than the one he’d put on top of a real Christmas tree. And he’s lucky that it’s just you with him and you allow him to ramble on, nodding along as he does so. Every once in a while, he looks at you for your reaction to something he said, and he catches the small smile on your face. Whether it’s at him or the children who chase each other through the gaps between the trees, he doesn’t care. He’s just happy that you’re happy, and indulging in his silly fantasies.
There’s a relaxing aura about being at a Christmas tree farm that Hyunjin never expected. Well, maybe he should’ve expected this from the movies he’s watched, but experiencing the warm atmosphere himself is different than seeing it on a screen. The trees around you two seem to lift the tension from the car off your shoulders. He feels lighter, more at peace. And, more importantly, so do you.
The sun has dipped below the horizon, making way for strings of lights towards the centre of the farm. Lines of a purple hue dip upward to a point that stands taller than all the pine trees that seem to go on for miles. Maybe there’s something there that Hyunjin missed.
The light glow catches your attention, too, and you start walking closer to it, keeping a hold on his hand. You two weave through the rows of Christmas trees until you happen to pass the last row, and you find a spectacle of sparkling lights. Lines of red and white make a tent shape and meet the purple lights at the top. Beneath them, two reindeer made of wire and golden lights greet you. They almost look like they’re cuddling under the tent of red and white—something about it makes Hyunjin’s heart sing.
“Wow…” he whispers to himself.
And somehow, without realising it, words leave your lips softly. Hyunjin is so in awe of the lights, he barely notices.  “🎶Under the mistletoe…🎶”
He almost doesn’t feel your head lightly rest against his shoulder. The reindeer… why is it reminding him of you two?
“🎶Watching the fire glow…🎶”
The faint melody makes Hyunjin’s ear perk up, causing him to turn and gaze at you. You’re too immersed in the trees and the occasional giggling child running through to even notice you’re quietly singing “Christmas Tree Farm'' to yourself. 
It makes Hyunjin’s heart race just like it did back in the car. However, now, he doesn’t have the car heaters to blame his red cheeks on. He’s thankful you're too absorbed in your own little world to even notice anything going on around you. 
“🎶And telling me, ‘I love you’ …🎶”
It’s like whatever is above is blessing him, letting him in on a little secret, in the form of light snowdrops falling from the sky. They land so delicately on your hair and shoulders and there’s a little flicker in your eyes that Hyunjin can’t ignore.
Never once in his life did he think he would see the first snow with someone. But now that he is, the hopeless romantic in him is screaming at him what he should have known all along.
“🎶Just being in your arms…🎶”
There is no big realisation. There is no big freak-out. There’s nothing to unpack or be scared about when his heart swells just that little bit more than usual. As he’s looking at you—still too oblivious to notice—everything just makes sense. There is no need for perfect, there is no need for the unattainable. 
All he needs is you.
“🎶Takes me back to that little farm…🎶”
He doesn’t need to second guess himself, or try to convince himself of anything. He just knows. All the stories he was told by his parents, the ones he watched in the movies, every little fairytale that he’s held onto his whole life is true.
Maybe it’s not childish, and maybe he didn’t need to chase his fairytale moment at all.
He already has it.
“🎶Where every wish comes true…🎶” 
As you continue to mumble the lyrics to yourself, Hyunjin squeezes your hand, finally bringing your attention back to him. 
“Thank you for being here with me.” He smiles sweetly.
Your returning smile makes his heart do laps. “No, thank you.” 
He squeezes your hand again. You squeeze his back.
six.
– november 23rd.
It’s only when the mass of people leaving your class dissipates that you notice Hyunjin standing out in the hallway waiting for you. He’s leaning up against the wall, focused on his phone. When he finally looks up and sees you, his smile grows and he pockets his phone, holding a hand out to you.
You raise your eyebrow and glance at his hand for a second too long before he makes grabby hands at you. A giggle escapes your lips. “Why do you want to hold my hand so badly?” You take his hand before he can answer.
“Because my dearest and best girlfriend in the world, it’s time for another date,” he muses, skipping slightly and rocking your entwined hands in a more exaggerated fashion. 
Humming and nodding your head, you lean into him slightly. “What are we going to do?”
He shrugs. “I was thinking we go to the park close to campus? Since the snow has settled and everything, we can just walk around for a couple hours until I have to go to class.”
It’s then that you register that Hyunjin called you his girlfriend. Not his fake girlfriend, just his girlfriend. You don’t do anything to correct him right now.
Instead, you look up at him, a pout gracing your lips. “But I was going to studyyyy.”
Hyunjin just shoots you a doubtful look back. “Oh, really?”
“Uh-huh!” you whine. The professor of the class you just got out of kept hinting at a pop quiz next session—considering that you failed the last pop quiz, you really didn’t want to fail a second one.
Nodding slowly, Hyunjin still looks sceptical. “Riiiight, okay.”
“I’m serious! We’re graduating soon, I can’t flunk out now!”
Hyunjin nods again. “Okaaaay, but you have…” he counts with his fingers on his free hand, “five days until then!” He stops in the middle of the walkway, stepping in front of you and taking not one, but both your hands in his. “Come onnnn, please? It’s just one day! And it snowed! It’s the perfect day to not study!”
When you respond with a blank stare, it seems like Hyunjin is forced to take drastic measures. So he tries one more very convincing line. “I’ll make you a hot chocolate when we get home! I know how much you love hot chocolate. Pleeeease?”
Something about the way his bottom lip juts out and his eyes twinkle with hope makes you want to cup his cheeks in your hands and… punch him. Yes, exactly, punch him right in the face. Hit him where it hurts.
But alas, despite your growing urge to lovingly ki…ck him off the fifth floor of the university library, you know even that won’t stop him begging you to ditch studying. So you sigh.
“Make it with milk, not water; whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top. Don’t forget the marshmallows.” That quiz will have to wait another day, but seeing the wave of happiness and relief wash over Hyunjin’s face right before he crushes you in a hug makes it worth it.
“Deal!”
The park is less crowded than you thought it would be. In your experience as a college student, you thought more of you would use the snow as a way to escape the stress of upcoming deadlines. Yes, you had to be bribed with hot chocolate to be here, but still. If you know, you know.
Regardless, you’re not complaining that you and Hyunjin basically have the whole park to yourselves.
“We should sit under there,” Hyunjin says, pointing to a cedar tree. Never mind the blanket of snow covering its needles that could fall on your heads.
You look up at him, your face sour. “Is that really a good idea?”
“Oh… right,” he says sheepishly, then points to a bench several feet away from it. “How about there?”
You nod and let him drag you there, ignoring the pathways and cutting through the grass. You take it as an excuse to hear the snow crunch underneath your shoes.
As you both approach the bench, Hyunjin slowly lets go of your hand to scurry ahead of you and wipe the thin layer of snow from its surface. It earns a cry from him at how cold it is, causing you to shake your head fondly. 
“Why not get your gloves out?” you ask.
“I forgot I had them!” He plops down on the bench with a frown and pats the spot next to him. “Sit.”
You take a seat, pulling your backpack off your shoulders and onto your lap. Reaching in the front pocket, you blindly search for his and your gloves. When your fingers graze the soft fabric, you pull both pairs out and hand Hyunjin’s pair to him.
“Thank you,” he mumbles, hurrying to slip his gloves on his hands. Once you do the same, he holds his hand out to you.
You furrow your brow at him. “We just held hands earlier?”
Hyunjin pouts. “But my hands are cold.”
“Is that not what the gloves are for?”
“Y/N…” he pulls out the bottom lip and puppy dog eyes again. Oh no…
Your eyes guiltily flicker between his outstretched hand and his face. His stupid, pouty face that is making your heart feel things you don’t want to think about. God..
“It’s coooold,” Hyunjin whines. “And it’s a coupley thing to snuggle when it’s cold, right?”
Fake couple. But you don’t correct him out loud.
“Okay, okay,” you huff, taking his hand in yours. He smiles and entwines your fingers together.
You and Hyunjin sit in silence for a while hand-in-hand as you take in the serenity. Sounds of children giggling faintly ring from the other side of the small park, and the blanket of powdery snow in front of you is still fresh and untouched. You feel so at peace here, you don’t notice you’re scooting closer to Hyunjin.
Wait. You’re scooting closer to Hyunjin. And you’re leaning your head on his shoulder.
It’s because it’s cold. Yeah. Your bum is freezing and you could use the body heat of a fellow human. It’s like how penguins huddle for warmth in the winter, except you’re not in Antarctica; you’re in a quaint little park on a snowy day with your best friend—fake boyfriend.
And as a good fake boyfriend does, Hyunjin lets go of your hand in response and slips his arm around your shoulders. You feel his cheek gently rest on top of your head. You instinctively wrap an arm around his waist—instinctively? How did you know to do that? What are you doing?
Right, you’re snuggling. Snuggling like any ordinary couple would do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fake couple; this is how you fake it till you make it, as they say. So you just stay like this for a few minutes. Hyunjin’s making for a great cuddler, anyway. Is he worried about not being as good as the guys in whatever movies he watches? He shouldn’t. Because he’s gentle and warm and sweet and now he’s kissing the top of your head.
Wait, what are you doing?
Your eyes fly wide open. You don’t move, but suddenly Hyunjin’s too warm and you feel suffocated in his arms. Now, all you can think of is any excuse to get up.
As if the universe was answering your prayers, a small tennis ball rolls by your feet. You look at the light green ball, then the dog leaping through the snow to chase it, then a kid you assume is its owner, far away but visibly out of breath. Letting go of Hyunjin, you bend down to grab the ball, running a few feet away before chucking the ball in the kid’s direction.
After watching the dog dash after the ball for a moment, you feel something cold splat against your back. You gasp in surprise and turn to see a frowning Hyunjin.
“You left me for a dog!” he whines childishly. He tries not to smile, but lets out a giggle at the end of his sentence.
You stare at him with your jaw dropped. “He’s cuter than you!”
He gasps loudly in offence and chucks another snowball at you.
“Who’s cuter now?!”
You scoop up some snow and toss it at his chest. “Still the dog!”
He gets up and runs straight for you. You squeak and run away, looping around the cedar tree close to the bench to try and slow him down. He quickly catches up with you, and you soon feel his arms wrap around you and pull you back. You let out a squeal at the move.
“You thought you could get away with that, huh?!” he says in between giggles. You’re just as giggly.
“Let me go!”
“Not until you say I’m cuter than that dog!”
He looks at you and you look up at him. He’s trying to pout at you, but you’re both laughing too much to take him seriously. But there’s something in his eyes, or maybe in his silly back-hug, that feels different… but you don’t want to think about that right now.
Instead, you smile and poke his cheek with one finger.
“Okay, fine. But only just a little.”
seven.
– december 1st.
Hyunjin feels himself buzzing from excitement as he guides you, hand-in-hand, through the busy streets of downtown. He would never admit it outright, but ever since you came up with the idea of fake Christmas dates, watching the switching on of the Christmas lights was high on his list. He’s dreamt of counting down the seconds until holiday lights illuminate the city, and has watched them alone. Just… not with someone. Not with someone who means as much to him as you do. 
He can’t tell what’s louder: his heart thumping when your hand squeezes his as you both tuck and swerve through the busy crowd, or the crowd itself. After his realisation a few weeks prior,  there’s something new and addicting about how your hand feels in his—like they were pieces of a puzzle, like they were destined to fit each other. He can’t get enough of it.  He wonders if Christmas romance movie characters feel their heart beating as fast as his when he’s around you. And he wonders if it makes your heart race just as much, if there’s even a slight possibility that you look at him the same way he’s grown to look at you. 
A slight tug on his hand pulls him out of his daze for just a moment. He looks back at you, who points excitedly at the giant Christmas tree in the heart of the plaza you two had just walked past. Smiling fondly, he follows you to get a closer look.
Hyunjin stops next to you, looking up at the huge, sparkling tree in front of you. He takes a moment to marvel at the bright lights strung across the expanse of the tree, the tinsel hanging from each branch,  and red and gold ornaments sprinkled throughout. The tree stands at such a great height, Hyunjin can barely see the shining gold star perched atop it. 
As his gaze drifts downward, across the tree again, his eyes fall on you standing by his side. In that moment, under the glittering lights bouncing off the small ornaments, Hyunjin thinks you’ve never looked prettier. You’re looking up at the tree in wonder, twinkles in your eyes as you take in the sights. You’re unaware of the way Hyunjin beholds you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen. All the glowing lights surrounding you go dim in comparison every time you smile. 
To Hyunjin, you’re the sun, and he’s just a star in your orbit, circling around you and living for every moment your warm light shines on him. Without you, his world would be cold and dark, just as it was before you came into his life. 
Eventually, he tears his eyes away from you, focusing once again on the tree. Between the strings of bulbs, he sees flashes of a future he can picture with you: your first kiss, waking up to you in the morning every day, your wedding day and carrying you over the threshold of your home when you’re back from your honeymoon. He can see it all. Three kids, two dogs, and a hamster, family vacations, their friends being honorary uncles. 
Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself, but when he’s with you, he can’t help it. You are his forever and a day. 
Every time he steals a glance at you, you’re in a world of your own. You’re so focused on looking up at the pre-hanging lights that you let him drag you along without much thought. Not that he minds much, himself. The little sparkle in your eyes as you look around in awe is utterly adorable. Not to mention that you’re willingly out with him in matching Christmas sweaters—maybe reluctantly at first, but willingly nonetheless. He never thought he’d get you to agree, but now that you did, the oversized tacky sweater somehow makes you look even cuter than he imagined.  
He can’t decide whether or not to scream to the world about how precious you are, or if he wants to wrap you up in a blanket and keep you all to himself. He thoroughly believes the world deserves to see your brightness, but at the same time, he only wants you to smile at him. He wants to be the reason you smile so wide your cheeks hurt, he wants to be the reason to laugh so hard you fall off your seat. 
Hyunjin’s focus returns to in front of him, a small content smile playing at his lips. Not because of you (mostly), but because he already knows the perfect place to watch the switch on. He’s had this planned for weeks now—another thing he will never admit.
Ever since the announcement of the light switch on came on social media a few weeks back, Hyunjin has been on a special mission. Every weekend since then, he’s sneaked off to the city to find the best spot possible to see the lights in all their glory. (He had told you that he had been helping Changbin with some stuff; whether or not you believed him was another story). Somewhere not too crowded, somewhere not too far away. Something perfect—something you deserve. 
That’s when he discovered a small cafe, its entrance hidden in a small alleyway wedged between two buildings. He was surprised at first that it was open since there were no signs on the street to indicate its existence, apart from the small menu board at the bottom of the metal staircase. 
As he guides you into the alleyway, he hears you hum in confusion. Feeling your hand tense up slightly in his, he stops and turns around. 
You’re looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, concern drawn all over your face. With a light squeeze of his hand, Hyunjin sends you a smile. 
“Do you trust me?” he says barely above a whisper, squeezing your hand once more. 
Hyunjin’s smile widens as you don’t even hesitate to nod your head at him.
“Always.” 
Before you get the chance to speak, you’re already up on the roof of the small coffee shop. It’s surprisingly empty with how busy the streets are down below. It makes Hyunjin wonder why there aren’t more people up there, not that he’s complaining.
Even though you’re both out of the crowd, Hyunjin still doesn’t let go of your hand just yet. He’s too content in the way it feels right now, and he wants to soak up every moment of it, because he doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance to again. He could play the clingy card to buy himself more time—it’s something he’s done before when he was sick, and it’s worked—but it doesn’t feel quite right this time. This was different from his usual antics somehow. It feels natural, it feels right. But at the same time, he wants to jump around and do some somersaults, much like his heart in his chest is.
He quickly hides the way his smile drops when you let go of his hand and runs over to the metal railings, gasping at the better view of the hung-up lights. 
When you turn back to him, it’s like everything has disappeared around him and all he can see is you and your smile. He forgets how to breathe, he feels faint, and he wants nothing more than to wrap you up in his arms and to kiss you all over your pretty face. He can’t do that, of course, but will he do it in his dreams later that night? Probably. Most definitely. 
He almost misses it when you speak to him, your smile growing by the second. 
“This is great Hyun!” You’re bouncing in place. “How did you find this place?” 
He shrugs and looks everywhere except in your eyes to try and calm his heating cheeks. 
“Oh you know, I just stumbled upon it.”
He can’t help himself when you hold your hand out to him. “Let’s watch the lights together.” 
So he takes it, letting your warmth dance around his hand in a mix of comfort and giddiness. He’s sure you haven’t noticed the new effect you’ve had on him, too oblivious to the world around you to know when someone is falling head over heels for you. 
There’s a part of Hyunjin’s brain that tries to remind him of the deal. A reminder that all of these events are not real, just as he wanted. However, Hyunjin decides to push these thoughts down into a little box, lock them up with a lock and key, and bury it in his mind.
The countdown is like a faint blur in his ears, the chanting taking a backseat to the person right in front of him. All he can hear is your soft counting, all he can feel is his pulse racing in his fingertips.
“Five, four, three,” Hyunjin squeezes your hand.  “Two…” You squeeze it back. “One.” 
At the flip of a switch, a blaze of colourful lights brighten up the town. But to Hyunjin, even they don’t compare to the awestruck sparkle in your eyes that sets his heart aflame.
eight.
– december 7th.
Since it’s the week before finals, Hyunjin insisted this past weekend that you two have dates every day this week. One, you suggested to stop the dates so you could study and he said no. That’s an understatement, actually—he practically got on his knees and begged you not to do that. Like, shook-you-by-the-shoulders, one-step-away-from-giving-up-his-americano begged.
It’s funnier now that it’s over, but you’ve never seen him more desperate for anything. Weird. Maybe he ate too many of Felix’s brownies that day.
When Hyunjin arrives at your dorm for your daily date today, the first thing he tells you is, and you quote, “Sit your ass down and wait until I finish setting up.” So, not wanting to deal with his whining today, you do exactly as you’re told for once.
You let yourself sink into your couch as your eyes lazily follow Hyunjin around. He goes in and out of your kitchen, places his laptop on the coffee table in front of you, and opens it. The screen lights up, prompting him to input his password, but instead of doing so, he heads straight back into the kitchen without a word. 
Huffing silently, you lean forward and type in his password: the month and day of both of your birthdays. It takes a second, but when the screen loads into an already-opened, paused, full-screen video of a fireplace, you furrow your brows.
“Hyun? What's this?” you call out to him. 
Almost instantly, you hear him groan in response. Then he appears at the kitchen door and stares at you with his arms crossed. “I told you to sit down.”
“Oops?” You smile at him sheepishly. “I’m a rule-breaker.”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes before disappearing back into the kitchen. “A freak is what you are,” he grumbles.
You gasp. “HEY! I HEARD THAT!”
“THAT’S THE POINT!” he yells back from the kitchen.
Getting up from your seat, you make your way over to the kitchen, shivering slightly from the light chill in the air. You stay at the doorway, not wanting to sacrifice your feet to the cold tiles of your kitchen floor. Your eyes land on Hyunjin’s frame faster than you’d like to admit, and he’s standing over two mugs as he places  tiny marshmallows into each of them. 
“I thought I said sit down,” he says, not looking in your direction. You don’t want to know how he knows you’re there; you didn’t even move from the doorway. Maybe he saw you staring, maybe he just knows you that well… you hope it’s the second one.
“I couldn’t sit still,” you huff, bringing your arms across your chest. 
He picks up the two mugs, takes a few steps towards you, and gestures to them with his head. 
“Take these,” Hyunjin says as he hands them over. “Go sit back down, I’ll get some blankets.” 
“M’kay.” Your voice comes out higher than usual. Praying he doesn’t notice, you quickly cover it up with a cough. “I mean, yep. Mhm.”
You hold your breath as you shuffle back over to the couch, exhaling deeply as you place the two mugs on the coffee table next to Hyunjin’s laptop. It’s when you sit down that you notice the whipped cream and drizzle of chocolate syrup he added to top both of your drinks. As your gaze follows the steam lightly swirling out of the mugs, you can’t help but smile. He remembered your favourite.
Not even a minute later, he’s back, your duvet in his arms. Before you can ask why, he throws it down on top of you. 
“ACK!” you shriek. “I thought—” you attempt to speak as you wrestle your way out the duvet, “you were getting blankets!” 
“I got a blanket, didn’t I?” 
“But why the big one?!”
You feel the couch dip as Hyunjin sits down beside you. He helps free you from the duvet before he straightens it out, waving it once and letting it drape down across your laps. 
“So we can do this.” 
You just keep your eyes down on the duvet for a moment. It’s more than enough to cover both your and his legs, which you guess a throw blanket wouldn’t have been able to accomplish.
When you finally look up, though, Hyunjin is smiling at you tenderly. You catch yourself holding your breath again as his soft gaze finds yours. For a second, the brown hue in his eyes reminds you of the chocolate drizzle in your hot chocolate—comforting, sweet—maybe too sweet for some, but just the right amount for you. Has the brown in his eyes always sparkled like it is now?
Wait… what are you doing?
“Oh, u-um…” You blink a few times to try to bring yourself back down to earth. “Then this works, thanks, Hyun.” You take a mug from Hyunjin when he hands one over to you. “So what exactly are we doing?”
“We’re going to cuddle and drink hot cocoa by the fireplace,” Hyunjin hums, nodding proudly before taking a long sip of his drink.
You take a second to process his words, then you glance at Hyunjin’s laptop screen. “But that’s YouTube?” 
He turns to look at you and blinks. If you could reverse time, this would be the perfect time to do it. 
“Well, I know that, but we don’t have a fireplace.” He sighs. “This is the best we got.” 
He leans over, clicks ‘play’ on the video, and the delicate crackling of fire emanating from his laptop begins to fill the room. Maybe it’s not a real fireplace, but the heat you’re feeling from him sitting so close and the comforting sounds make you feel plenty warm.
Hyunjin settles back into his spot on the couch, picking up his mug with one hand. You lift up your mug, too, and softly clink it with his, taking a sip together as well. You’re so engrossed in the sweet, creamy drink melting in your mouth, that you don’t notice Hyunjin has casually slipped his arm around your shoulders until another few sips later. You lean your head against him and do nothing to shake his arm off, even though a tiny part of your brain screams at you to make it stop.
You’ve lost track of how much time has passed, but when the hot chocolates are finished, the crackling has faded into the background and the sound of Hyunjin’s faint snoring fills your ears. It’s enough time and space to let your brain wander. Iit wanders to the way Hyunjin’s cologne is a constant in your life, the way you always know where he is and where he’s been. It wanders to how every piece of clothing you own, and your whole life, is in some way infused with the essence of Hyunjin. 
Moving your head ever-so-slightly so you don’t wake him, you let your eyes gaze at the blond-headed boy for a moment too long. You can’t understand why he tries so hard to chase after perfection, when that’s already what he is. The way his eyelashes lay across his cheeks and the way his nose scrunches up at something in his dream—you can’t help but smile at the boy who has you wrapped up in his arms. 
It made you wonder when the feeling of his arms around you began to feel different. Hyunjin is Hyunjin, your best friend and nothing more than that. This fake dating thing is just that—fake. It’s a made-up relationship, a scheme to give Hyunjin what he’s always wanted: a college Christmas romance. One that started to feel a little too real to you.
There shouldn’t be feelings involved when it comes to fake dating. Everyone knows that. You can count all the romcoms you’ve ever seen on only one hand, but even you know that rule. But the way Hyunjin hugs you tighter in his sleep causes not only your heart, but your head to race as well. You’re suddenly too warm, the laptop is too loud, and you feel like the weight of the world has just fallen on your shoulders. 
Your breathing begins to pick up, but you’re pulled back out of it when you feel Hyunjin move beside you. Your eyes find his half-opened ones; he looks like he could fall back asleep at any moment. 
“Are you okay?” he mumbles before letting out a yawn, his arms still secure around you. 
You hum, pretty much shoving your head into his chest, your eyes focused on his laptop. “I’m okay, Hyunnie.” 
Luckily, the sleepy Hyunjin doesn't question it. He just pulls you closer and places a kiss on your hairline, sending your mind into another spiral. 
“Just take a nap.” You feel him yawn again. “Just enjoy this time.” 
When Hyunjin’s snore fills your ears once more, you let out a breath and do your best to blink away the tears swelling up in your eyes. 
This was a big realisation for your brain to handle on a Tuesday night. And you're not sure what to do about it apart from what you do best—ignore it and hope it goes away. 
nine.
– december 14th.
Before anyone can even say anything, Hyunjin knows he should be focusing on his art theory class. However, as he’s laying down across his desk with his head resting on his arm, he can’t help but stare at his phone in despair. 
It had been seven days—one week—since the magical movie night at your dorm. Since then, all of his messages had gone unresponded—actually, you responded exactly one time: the morning after when Hyunjin had asked about getting breakfast. You were busy. 
He mindlessly unlocks his phone, opening his message chain with you. Still no response or even a ‘read’ alert from you at the bottom. Deep down, he knows you haven’t even clicked on his messages if there is no ‘read’ alert, just like how his fridge won’t magically fill up with food if he doesn’t restock it… unless you turned read receipts off entirely, but that’s too much effort for you to do. 
He lost count of how many times he told you in high school to turn it off when you were in fights with your friends. You’d keep opening their messages and the fights would only continue when they saw you were ignoring them. You always brushed him off saying that there was no point, that they’d still know anyway. 
But here he is, staring at his phone, wishing for something, anything from you. At this point, he would take a ‘read at 3:25pm’ over the vacancy his inbox seems to taunt him with.
He only realises that class is over when the mass of people in the lecture hall scramble around him to leave. Hyunjin picks up his head from his table and sits there a moment longer. 
The other students make a beeline for the door, the professor glances at Hyunjin still sitting there and shakes their head, before following the students out the semi-open door, closing it behind them. Even with everyone’s presence in the room gone, it still feels just as empty as it did twenty minutes before. 
His phone lights up and a little bit of joy enters his heart, only for it to be smashed into pieces when the words become clear. 
Binnie : YO !! 
Binnie : free to get lunch or you with y/n? 
Hyunjin responds with a simple ‘i’m free.’ He locks his phone and shoves it into his pocket before throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder, dragging himself out of the lecture hall to wherever Changbin and the gang are. 
Hyunjin can hear them before he sees them. 
Jisung’s incessant screams and Changbin’s laughter are both way too loud for Hyunjin to put up with in that moment. But still, he wonders, following the sounds as they grow closer and closer and the two clowns (said with affection) become clear. 
Jisung’s too busy running around the picnic table, screaming about something with Changbin laughing so hard he has tears streaming down his face. Next to him is a silent-as-ever Chan, watching in amusement with a dopey smile present on his lips. 
It goes silent when Hyunjin drops his bag with a thud on the table. It makes him wince and the stares from three of his friends makes him wish the world would swallow him whole. It’s still silent when he throws one leg over the bench and sits himself down, bringing the other leg in before using his bag as a pillow.
Three, two, one… he thinks.
“What’s up with you?”
There it is. Hyunjin ignores the question as he tries to push his head further into his bag.
“Hyun?” Chan’s voice is softer than the other two boys. Whilst he knows the other two mean well, it’s a lot more comforting when it’s coming from Chan. “Are you okay?” 
It takes all of his strength to pick his head up off of the table and look at the eldest of the four boys. Hyunjin feels as if his default look is to frown and when the other two boys clock on, Jisung is sat down next to him in a flash. 
“Bro,” Changbin starts. “You look as if your mum told you you’d never see Kkami again.” 
This clown (again said with affection) really did not have the slightest indication of how to comfort someone. There was something unique about Changbin, he had heart, but brains? That and reading the room wasn’t always his strong suit. 
“I think what he means is,” Chan rephrases, “you look really down in the dumps. What’s up, buddy?” There he goes, talking as if he’s seventy when he’s barely twenty-six.
“Y/N hasn’t spoken to me in a week…” Hyunjin mumbles, letting his head fall back onto his bag. “Do you think she hates me?” he asks, but to the trio it comes out more like, ‘o u inks smates me?’ 
He isn’t sure who places a hand on his back—he assumes it’s Jisung with the angle. All he knows is he can feel a cold hand just barely pressing through his hoodie. 
“Maybe she’s busy?” Jisung says, patting Hyunjin’s back lightly. “She’ll send her usual emoji update when she’s ready.” 
Hyunjin only picks up his head again so his friends can hear him. “She hasn’t even read any of my messages.” 
It’s quiet, too quiet. When he sits up to look at them and Jisung’s hand falls from his back, Hyunjin’s frown just enhances. The boys look at each other, frowns present on their own faces. Hyunjin doesn’t think they completely understand the situation. But then again, neither can he.
“What do I do?” he says. 
“She’s probably busy with exams…” Jisung blurts out, looking at the two boys sitting across from them before looking back at Hyunjin. 
“Yeah!” Changbin pipes in. “Plus her internship! That’s probably keeping her busy too, especially since it’s close to Christmas!” 
Hyunjin looks over at Chan, he’s silent like usual. He has a sad smile on his face, like he wants to say something to calm Hyunjin’s worries, but he’s just not exactly sure what those words are. 
“Thanks guys…” Hyunjin does his best to smile.
Jisung brings him in for a tight hug. Even though he normally would have, Hyunjin doesn’t try to push him away. The coos from the two other boys make his heart feel just a bit warmer. 
– december 15th.
Hyunjin should have called first. But with how silent you’ve been over the past eight days, he knew you wouldn’t have picked up. So here he stands, two pizza boxes in one hand as he tries to pluck up the courage to finally knock on your door after standing outside it for god knows how long. 
He wonders if you’ll smell the pizza from inside and open the door yourself so he wouldn’t have to knock. A boy can dream. 
He clenches his fist so hard it turns white. Takes a deep breath, releases it. Takes another one. He thinks about how he’ll knock on the count of three—but then procrastinates even more by thinking about if he means he’d do it on three or after three. 
In actuality, he doesn’t need to do anything when the sound of your door unlocking makes him smile slightly. He knew you’d smell the pizza. 
When the door opens up wide enough, you jump back slightly in surprise. Hyunjin can barely believe himself either. He’s actually here… in all his anxious glory.
“Hyunjin…” 
Your face visibly pales, causing Hyunjin to frown. Did you really not want to see him that badly? Over a week of nothing and this is how you react when you see him again? 
He looks down at your outfit. You’ve got your puffer coat on and your bag draped across your chest, sending the puffiness out in awkward directions. “Where are you going?” 
“I– I’ve got class,” you stutter. 
“Oh.” Hyunjin’s shoulders drop. 
He motions to the pizza boxes in his hand and smiles sheepishly. He watches how your eyes glance at them before darting off in another direction.
“I thought we could chill and have pizza, like normal,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I forgot you had class today and…” Hyunjin pauses. He takes another deep breath as he watches you, waiting to see if you’d finally look at him. “I was just wondering if we could talk… it’s been a while you know?” 
One of your hands comes up to fiddle with the hair behind your left ear. Hyunjin takes note of how you bite at your bottom lip. 
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” 
Hyunjin blinks. You’re still avoiding his gaze.
“Can we at least talk quickly?” he asks. He can’t tell if he’s grateful or not when you open the door wider for him to enter. 
“Okay. Just make it quick.”
He shuffles inside, placing the pizza boxes down on the coffee table that once held his laptop as their makeshift fireplace. Turning back to you, Hyunjin now sees how your hands are shoved into your pockets. Your coat is zipped all the way up so you can hide your face in your collar. 
“Where have you been?” The question escapes his lips before he can even register it. 
He’s watching you for every single change in your body language, every little muscle movement. Anything that will clue him into what the heck is happening. 
“I’m sorry,” you say, barely above a whisper. “I’ve been busy with schoolwork, and my internship is piling more on me because Christmas is coming up.” Just like Changbin had thought. But even then, it didn’t feel enough. 
“You could have said something,” Hyunjin sighs. “Anything. Even just an emoji like you usually do when you’re cramming.” 
He’s surprised when you have nothing to say. You’re just hiding in your coat collar and he can see the distressed look on your face. Hyunjin has never felt more confused in his life, and here you are, doing nothing to help. He feels as if he’s questioning every life choice he’s made up to this point. 
“Are you okay?” he speaks again after another moment. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 
Hyunjin feels like tiny needles are being pricked into his heart, and your silence is pushing them deeper. The more seconds that tick by, the more his heart crumbles in his chest.
He watches as you take a deep breath in. He watches you as you exhale. 
“About that…” You gulp and take another breath. “We should stop this… we should break up.” 
Hyunjin can hear the glass house around him break into hundreds and thousands of little pieces. He’s sure that in all that rubble is his heart—pierced and splinted, bleeding out from each wound. Yet all that he can do is blink. 
“...What?”
For the first time in his life, he cannot read a single expression or feeling on your face. It’s like he’s been placed in the middle of the desert; no map, no compass, nothing. He’s lost, afraid, and so, so alone. And you’re just standing there, a mere few feet away from him, unable to even look him in the eye.
“We should end our agreement.” You’re fiddling with the strap on your bag as if to keep your mind from spiralling or wondering. “Look, everything with class and my internship is getting busier, and you wanted Christmas dates, right?”
You gulp again. Hyunjin is just silent. He can’t even nod.
“You got what you wanted. You got the dates and to experience a Christmas romance.” You finally look him in the eye, and it’s like one final stab to his heart. “So we should end this now, so we can both focus on the things we need to.” 
You’re finally staring at each other, battling it out silently for who can keep their hold the longest. It’s torture and Hyunjin’s never felt pain like this… it pierces into his stomach so bad that he wants to throw up. 
“Hyunjin—” 
Before you can even finish your sentence, you’re cut off by the sound of the door unlocking. Your eyes widen in surprise as Yeri, your usually missing roommate, walks through the door. She has a suitcase behind her, probably back from whatever adventure she’s been on with her girlfriend. 
You seem glad to see her back in one piece, but god, did she have the worst timing. It makes Hyunjin want to scream. Why now, of all times, did she have to decide to come home? Right when Hyunjin’s in the middle of being ‘dumped’ by the person he’s in love with?
Yeri looks up in shock, takes one of her airpods out of her ear, and grins sheepishly. 
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Her eyes flicker between you and Hyunjin. She’s not sure what to make of the awkward atmosphere, but Hyunjin doesn’t blame her. “I’ll…” She motions to her bedroom door to insinuate the end of her sentence, before dragging her suitcase behind her. 
When the soft click of her door closing behind her is heard, you turn your attention back to Hyunjin. You open your mouth to speak, but before you can utter a word, he shakes his head. 
“No.” He doesn’t even let you begin. 
He wants to scream and cry out, not only in confusion, but in what Hyunjin can’t tell is anger or just pure sadness. He doesn’t, partly because he knows Yeri is within earshot, but also because he doesn’t know if he has the energy. His mind is making so many laps and leaps trying to figure out everything that he just wants to lie down.
He gasps for air. His eyes feel misty and he wants to do nothing but run. 
“I get it,” he mutters, looking away. “You can have what you want.”
Hyunjin says no more, leaving the discarded pizzas on the coffee table. He ignores the way his heart stings when you don’t call after him. He doesn’t even bother to wait for the elevator, choosing to rush down the stairs to get out of the building as fast as possible whilst wiping his cheeks haphazardly with the back of his sleeve. 
He once again wants the world to swallow him whole—or for him to sleep for the rest of the Christmas season. Because, honestly, none of it seems worth it anymore.
ten.
– december 18th.
How is it possible that three days can feel like an eternity? 
‘We should end this.’ Your voice repeats in Hyunjin’s brain in a constant loop. It torments him when he’s awake and stays to haunt him in his dreams. ‘We should break up.’ 
The first day felt like torture. All he wanted to was rant about you, to you. Sure, he could go to his other friends, but when you’re his first choice… what could he do? He couldn’t call or text you now that he wants to more than over. He wanted to cry at the sound of your voice and beg you to reconsider—to go on real dates with him—to have a real Christmas romance. 
‘You got what you wanted.’
Day two was just as hard. When he hadn’t blown up the group chat over some random thing in over twenty-four hours, this was when his friends got worried. So they blew up his phone instead with a mixture of concern and heartfelt care, and whatever you call Jisung’s messages. Hyunjin decided to ignore them, but kept checking his phone on the off-chance he’d get a text from you. Eventually, he turned over his phone and rolled over in his bed, shutting his eyes and hoping the world would disappear for a bit. 
‘You got the dates, you got to experience a Christmas romance.’
Now here he sits, on day three, in the trio’s shared off-campus apartment. He only begrudgingly got out of bed when Jisung threatened to start screaming outside his door. He’s lying sideways across the couch, his feet propped up against the armchair. He hasn’t washed his hair in too long, he vaguely thinks a family of birds might nest in it someday, and his grey sweats have a big blotch of brown on one leg. He spilled hot Americano on himself when he got home after your breakup, but he didn’t have the energy to change out of them.
He knows he shouldn’t be calling it a breakup when you two were never really together. But when his feelings are completely and utterly real, it really feels like one. He feels his eyes start to become misty again, and he shoves his head into his sweater paws as he tries to bury himself in the sofa more. 
‘So we should end this now.’
Chan, Changbin, and Jisung are all watching from the barely-used dining table. They are at a loss for words, they hadn’t thought about the possibility of you and Hyunjin ever breaking up. To everyone in the friend group, you two were set for life, ride-or-dies, the sunshine to the flowers. To them, there was never any possibility of a break up. They just didn’t get it. 
Changbin takes a sip of his protein shake through a bright pink curly straw, and huffs. “This is weird, dudes.” He looks over at the two other boys, who still have their eyes on Hyunjin. “He’s never been like this with anyone.” 
“Y/N isn’t just anyone, though,” Chan responds.
“Yeah,” Jisung sighs, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. His eyes still bore into Hyunjin. “They’re, like, totally made for each other.”  
Hyunjin brings his hands away slightly, sending the best glare he could manage. To the boys, however, it was more pitiful than scary, like a kicked puppy. All they want to do is scoop him up and never let him go until his heart is unbroken.  
“You know I can hear you, right?” Hyunjin asks. “And to be honest, I really don’t like all this mumbling.” 
The boys don’t hold his bad mood against him. He’s upset, frustrated, and they know he’ll apologise when he’s feeling better. Chan takes the lead, opening his mouth to speak before the other two dummies could say anything to make Hyunjin more upset. 
“We’re sorry, we’re just confused on why you guys broke up,” he explains. The other two boys nod their heads as the eldest speaks. “You two have always seemed so perfect for each other.” 
They notice how Hyunjin’s shoulders drop and he goes to hide his face in his sweater paws again. His words come out all muffled and Chan, Changbin, and Jisung all glance at each other to see if any of them understood what he said.
“What was that?” Chan asks. Hyunjin yanks his sweater paws away from his face, turning his head sharply at the boys.
“We never broke up, okay?!”
The trio can now really see how glassy Hyunjin’s eyes have become. They exchange concerned glances with each other, frowns of their own also covering their faces.
“W-Wait. What do you m—” 
Hyunjin cuts Chan off with a hiccup. 
“We— we were never really together... So w-we never really broke up.” 
The boys are stunned, confused and so completely stunned. They don’t know where to even begin to wrap their heads around the confession. But it also leads them to the next question, if it was all fake… why was Hyunjin so distraught now that it was over? 
Now it didn’t take a genius to figure that out, but it was better to hear it from Hyunjin himself.
“Okay,” Chan gulps, “do you want to start from the beginning?” 
So Hyunjin starts from the beginning. He starts off with the confession from Jisoo that was totally not the vibe. He talks about how he went to you to whine about how he was losing his chance for a college christmas romance, to how you suggested he should fake date someone to get the experiences he wanted. To how he had decided you were his perfect person for the task. 
“Why didn’t you just tell us it was fake, man?” Changbin asks, “it wouldn’t have been that much of a deal.” 
Hyunjin sighs, falling back into the chair and letting his head fall backwards so he can look up at the ceiling. 
“I don’t know, just wanted it to seem more realistic I guess.” He sighs. 
“Well…” Jisung continues, “what happened next?” 
So Hyunjin continues with his story. He talks about the decorating of your dorm, he ignores the comment from Jisung about that’s how your apartment got that way. He goes on to talk about the movie night and the cookies to the ice skating, and he talks about the Christmas tree farm. 
“From there…” Hyunjin slows down and pauses. 
The trio is silent, waiting for the blond to admit what they all know. They’re not sure how long he’s silent for, it could have been only a second, but in that moment it could have also been a lifetime. 
“From there… It was different.” 
He looks over to the three boys at the dining table. He felt like his heart was cracking in a whole new different way. When he was keeping it to himself, he could shove it into a little box and act as if it was something future-Hyunjin had to deal with. But now this present version of him hated past him for even thinking about putting the emotions aside to begin with. 
“I don’t know when it happened, or if it happened long before I even realised it, but she’s different. She’s her version of perfect and now it’s blown up in my face.” Hyunjin’s frown is contagious. “I– I love her and now she wants nothing to do with me anymore.” 
“I’m sure that’s not true…” Changbin tries to sympathise, but Hyunjin just shakes his head. 
“You should have seen her, she would barely look at me.” Hyunjin begins to hiccup again. “She’s the love of my life and it ended before it even started.” 
Jisung opens his mouth to speak, but Chan quickly nudges him in the side to be quiet. When Jisung looks at the older boy, all Chan does is shake his head. A look on his face saying let him get this out. 
“Ever since the Christmas tree farm, she’s been different, she’s amazing and kind–” Hyunjin hiccups, blinking away the tears he could feel welling up in his eyes. ��She has this sparkle about her and even though I know it annoyed her, she still let me go on and on about how I wanted a perfect college Christmas romance when with her… I don’t need perfection.” 
“What are you going to do?” 
Hyunjin feels like curling up into a ball. He wishes for his friends to stop staring at him. He wants to hide, he wants to cry, and he wants to eat his body weight in a food that isn’t going to remind him of you– not that there were many types of those things. 
“I need to give her the space she wanted,” Hyunjin states. “She can do the things she needs to: focus on work and her internship. And I'll wait…” 
“Wait for her?” Jisung says.
Hyunjin nods. “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” 
eleven.
– december 14th.
When the soft click of her door closing behind her is heard, you turn your attention back to him. You open your mouth to speak, but before you can utter a word, he shakes his head.
“No.” He doesn’t even let you begin.
He gasps for air and you can see him blinking rapidly. You feel your heart tear in two.
“I get it,” he mutters. “You can have what you want.”
Before you can utter another word, he’s out the door. You’re sure the pizza he leaves behind is cold by now, but even if you were hungry a few minutes ago, you’re not anymore. What you want more is for him to turn around, to come back when you call out to him.
But he’s gone. It’s too late.
“Okay, so what was that all about?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your trance. 
You’re not sure how long it’s been since Hyunjin left your dorm, your door is still wide open, and you haven’t even moved a muscle. Even though you have class in twenty minutes—that part you didn’t lie about—you want nothing but to run into your room and hide there for the rest of the year.
You clear your throat and your hands go back to the strap of your bag to keep them entertained. “I… I don’t know what you’re on about.”
You haven’t even turned to look at her and you know that she knows you’re lying through your teeth.  
“Uh huh,” Yeri tuts. 
You hear her footsteps get closer to you before she’s come up beside you and is now in eye view. 
“So no trouble going on with Mr Blond Best Friend, then?” she continues to question. 
You stay silent in response, not trusting your own voice. Your eyes start to feel wet. You were able to keep up an act in front of Hyunjin, but now that he’s gone and the vision of his teary eyes keeps repeating in your mind, it’s getting more and more difficult to pretend. 
“Nothing’s going on,” you clear your throat again. Tugging on your crossbody bag, you look at her once before rushing to the door. “I need to go to class, glad to see you back.” 
Yeri can’t even get another word out as you rush out the door, slamming it behind you. You unknowingly take the same route as Hyunjin, rushing down the stairs to get out of the building as quickly as possible. 
Once the cold air hits you, you take a deep breath and wipe your cheeks with the back of your hands. 
You had to, it was the only option.
“Hyunjin!” you call out, looking all around you. Several students push by you, some wearing holiday pyjamas or Santa hats. You don’t understand how they can feel even an ounce of Christmas spirit right now.
You try running somewhere, anywhere, ducking and weaving through the pack of students making their way to wherever they want to go. There are hundreds of students out, yet you can pick out one blond head from the crowd.
“Hyunjin!”
You run faster. Before you’re able to process it, someone on an electric scooter whizzes by, knocking you off your feet. You yelp and stretch your arms out to catch yourself.
And now you’re on the ground. Groaning, you slowly move to get up. Hundreds of students pass by where you lie, but not one stops to help you. Until…
“Oh my god, Y/N!”
You light up for a second at the familiar voice. Once you realise who it is, you roll over, deflated.
Jisung gasps. “You look like death! What happened to you?!”
You blink once. “Gee, thanks,” you say flatly.
The boy stares at you for a second before finally reaching a hand out. You take it and he pulls you up.
“O-Okay, but seriously, what happened?” he says. “Are you okay?”
You search his eyes for a moment before shrugging. What are you supposed to say to Jisung? That you just ruined your friendship with the love of your life?
“It’s about Hyunjin, isn’t it?” Jisung says, his voice softer. The way he’s watching you makes you tear up all over again. He seems to let you process for another moment before reaching over, rubbing your shoulder gently.
“Look,” he sighs, “I… I know you two weren’t real. I honestly thought you were, though.” He then mutters something along the lines of, “So I didn’t owe our friend group sixty dollars after all.”
“That’s your first thought right now?”
“Wait, nonono!” Jisung’s stance changes in a snap and begins frantically smoothing out your outfit, ruffling your messy hair and making it even messier. “It’s okay, it’s okay, everything will beeee okaaayyy.”
You groan and roll your eyes fondly, but you let him continue.
“Okay, but for real now…” He rubs your shoulder again. “I think you should tell him.”
A breath hitches in the back of your throat. “Tell him… what exactly?”
He sighs deeply. “You know what I mean, Y/N.”
It’s your turn to sigh, and you look down at your shoes as your eyes well up again. Jisung smiles sadly at you and pulls you into a hug.
“He misses you, you know that?” he says. You nod, shoving your face in his shoulder before he can see you cry. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell him you miss him, too. That’s your job.”
In between sobs, you nod.
“And once you two get together, I can get my damn money back,” Jisung grumbles.
You let out a wet chuckle and hold onto him for another minute. You’re terrified of what may happen, but no amount of fear in your body is worth the heartbreak you feel right now.
twelve.
– december 24th.
Hyunjin feels… something. 
Every year on Christmas Eve, the boy would scramble to get to bed early, so he could be asleep by the time Santa comes. Obviously, though, he’s since outgrown that tradition, but now he stays up till midnight like every other teenager and college student, counting down the seconds to Christmas Day. It’s as if Christmas is Hyunjin’s pre-New Year of sorts. He may not believe in Santa anymore, but the childlike wonder and excitement he gets during this time of year has never changed. He’s all jumpy and hyper and jittery like a kid who ate too much candy, eagerly awaiting the day that the movies and the lights and the snow have made so magical.
And this year, for the first time ever, he might not be counting down alone.
Going the past week without hearing the sound of your voice felt like walking barefoot through a pit full of Legos—doubly so because he saw you on campus during finals week talking to Jisung once. Jisung! Out of everyone in your friend circle, of course you were still talking to the one who flirts with everyone for fun. At least he didn’t wink at you this time…
But after what felt like aeons of being sent to voicemail, you finally called him back six days, sixteen hours, and forty-seven minutes ago. You said something about meeting up for lunch the day after or something; he barely remembers anything from that call other than that you called. That lunch at the university cafe wasn’t much different. He was so relieved that you were in front of him talking to him again that he wasn’t paying much attention to what you were actually saying.
…Okay, maybe that’s a lie. You rearranged the Christmas decorations he had thrown all over your dorm on your first date, you got all your Christmas shopping done, and you have a super-duper special date planned for Christmas Eve. Dress warm. You’ll pick him up at 8 for dinner. And you’ll both be getting home late.
Hyunjin can see his breath just past his nose as he checks out his reflection in the glass window panes of the university library. He picked out his best winter coat for tonight—the one that goes with almost any outfit he could put together, but also doesn’t take the limelight off of yours. He also broke out the pristine white sneakers—you know, the ones he cleans frantically after every use. Were they going to get dirty in the snow? Maybe a little. But it’s you, and they go so well with his sweater and jeans. You deserve his best fit.
He knows nothing about what your plan is for tonight. All he knows is that you’ll be here in five minutes, his stomach is doing flips inside him, and he’s got shivers going up his spine.
Hyunjin feels something—he just can’t name what that something is. All the adjectives he can think of don’t feel quite right. The closest he can get is ‘tingly’, and even then, he can’t explain why he landed on that particular word. But when you pull up at the library and roll down your window, all the words he’s ever learned fly out the door.
No combination of letters could capture how beautiful you are to him.
Hyunjin is surprised to find himself back in the heart of downtown. This time, it’s after a lovely meal and hours-long conversation with you, and you’re the one guiding him around now.
He swivels his head around as he lets you lead, taking in all the glittery Christmas lights the same way you are. Quickly, he recognizes you’re taking the same path he once did to the cafe where you two watched the light switch. He feels like he’s on the Polar Express to the North Pole—yes, of course he was watching the movie before your date tonight. It’s a Christmas must.
Wait… fake date. He nearly forgot these dates aren’t real.
He’s not sure why he let himself get away with calling all these real dates. Clearly, it made you uncomfortable to the point where you felt the need to fake-break up with him. He’s also not sure if he should consider himself lucky that the breakup wasn’t real.
Does this mean the fake Christmas romance thing is back on? You two never actually discussed it, but you did also ask him on a… fake date.
Despite this, there’s still something in the air that’s giving him that tingly feeling. He’s still not sure if that’s the right word. He just knows that standing right next to you on the balcony of an abandoned cafe to witness the arrival of Christmas Day… it feels so, so right. Almost like everything is falling into place.
“Hyunnie… can we talk?”
Hyunjin turns to you, his gaze soft, and you freeze in place. Did you really just say that? Now?  What if you ruin Christmas Eve and Christmas because you didn’t wait?
You sigh to yourself, a small puff of air escaping your mouth. You know that this was something you needed to do, both for yourself and your peace of mind. Maybe Jisung, too, and whatever lost money he was moping about that one time. But there’s still ten minutes to midnight. Is that too soon?
No. It’s not. If anything, it’s long overdue. No more running. Plus, if he’s truly your best friend and he doesn’t like you back, nothing should change… right? At least, not for the long term.
“Is everything okay?”
Hyunjin’s honey voice pulls you out of your thoughts. Hyunnie, sweet like honey… wait, Y/N, don’t get distracted. It’s almost midnight.
Take a deep breath.
“Hyunnie, um…” You fiddle with a small object in your pocket as you try to think.
When you look up, he’s nodding. “Yeah?”
Deep breath.
“I’m sorry… I'm sorry for ghosting you and stopping this so suddenly.” You’re blinking and Hyunjin watches as you open your mouth to speak before closing it again. Like the words are at the tip of your tongue, but the courage just hasn’t bubbled up enough. “I…” You take a breath, looking up at anywhere but him as you mumble to yourself, “God, this is so much harder than I thought it’d be.”
You take a little shuffle forward.
“I… I think I realised too late, and by the time I realised, I freaked out and just… I shut down.” You look at him, your eyes boring into each other like you’re both trying to find the centre of each other’s soul. It's too much for you to stomach while you struggle to pull words out of your throat, so you let your gaze fall.
“Realised what?” Hyunjin whispers. You somehow hear it over the crowd of people forming below you.
You shuffle forward unconsciously again, keeping your eyes down. 
“Do— do you hate me?” Hyunjin says.
Eyes wide, you snap your head up and shake your head quickly. “N-No! Of course not.” “Then what—”
Your gaze shoots down and your hand goes for Hyunjin’s. A small gasp leaves his mouth before your brain catches up with the rest of you.
When you finally have the courage to look back up, it’s like everything has blurred into the background. Everything except the boy in front of you, who looks about as shocked as you are at yourself. Is this it? Is this going to be your Hallmark moment?
Deep breath.
“I love you.”
Hyunjin’s eyes grow wider, his mouth opening and closing like a fish a couple times. He probably thinks someone took over your body, that this isn’t really you.
“You… love me?”
You nod and smile. It’s hard to tell if he’s still in disbelief, but honestly, you can barely believe you’re saying these words. But you mean every single one of them.
“I do… and there’s no one else I’d rather have a Christmas romance with.”
There’s a feverish look grazing Hyunjin’s face, his mouth opened just slightly as he gasps quietly. You swear you can see little stars adorning his pretty brown eyes.
“Well,” you clarify quickly, “a college Christmas romance. But I don’t think I want this to end after we graduate.”
Hyunjin’s eyes are crinkling at the edges, his nose scrunching just slightly with the force of his joy. You’re sure of two things in that moment. One, your own expression must look just as lovesick as his. And two, you’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as Hyunjin under the glow of the lights surrounding the plaza. 
“Y/N, I… can I kiss you?”
From somewhere in the streets below, you recognize the gathered crowd beginning the countdown to midnight. You barely pay it half a mind as you pull the object from your pocket. Hyunjin’s eyes follow you as you hold it up over your heads. It’s a small sprig of mistletoe, and you can’t help the proud smile that sweeps across your face.
“You know, you wanted to hit all the Christmas traditions and you forgot one of the best ones.” 
“God, I love you.”
You practically jump into his arms when he presses his lips against yours. Fireworks explode in your chest as the clock rings twelve and cheers erupt from the streets below. It’s all a buzz in your head, though, as you cup Hyunjin’s cheeks in your hands and melt into his arms and lips and just him. 
You hope he never tries to chase perfection again, because you’re sure that this moment, right now, is the definition of it. Nothing has ever felt so perfect, so right, and nothing else will ever come close.
As if on cue, when you two slowly break the kiss, you feel something wet land on your head. You and your not fake boyfriend?—you’ll have to talk to him about that later—look up to see fluffy, white snowdrops falling all around you two.
“Merry Christmas, Hyunnie,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Hyunjin has the biggest smile on his face as you pull away. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
You let out a joyful giggle. It looks like Hyunjin got the cheesy Christmas romance he’s been searching his whole life for. It might not have gone the exact way he’d dreamed of, but you hope he is as happy as he has always made you.
And maybe, just maybe, you also got the ending you’d been dreaming of all along.
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minhosimthings · 5 months
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Impatient details || 18+
Synopsis: You just couldn't wait as Hyunjin kept you waiting to finish his portrait of his most favourite muse.
Pairings: Hyunjin × fem!reader
Warnings: Smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, Fingering, masturbation, degradation, swearing, Hyunjin calls reader 'darling' and 'my muse', unprotected sex (don't do it absolutely not), Hyunnie cums inside of reader, overstimulation, dacryphillia, art studio sex let's gaur, it's a bit fluffy at the end
A/N: y'all I can't do this I'm SAUR HORNY RIGHT NOW DAMN THIS PERIOD. I really needed Hyunnie cause man is literally looking like a Greek God in that silver hair (although he has dark hair in this drabble). So this concludes my very first Hyunjin smut! Yay to my dumb brain for working.
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Muses are such pretty little things aren't they? Oh to be a muse. To be dancing under the bloodlust stars with a person who considers you their entire universe. To be staying still and laughing in courtish conversation as he imprinted your figure against yet another canvas, in the same yet different shades of captivating colours.
"Hyunjin-" you dropped your arm from your waist, "-my arm fell asleep again." Always the artist, never the muse, changed when you met Hyunjin. Now, you were forever gracefully stuck as the starry eyes muse, remembered in reds and blues. "Hyunjin how much longer?" You whined to Hyunjin, who whisked his eyes away from the canvas in a whip. He lowered his paintbrush and put his palette on his table, brushing his long, dark hair out of his eyes. Standing up with a slight wince (probably from sitting for that long), he strode over to you, lifting your chin up with his finger. You could see the sweat beads glisten on his forehead, and his fingers all covered with paint. A splash of paint decorated his neck, from where veins were slightly popping out.
“Always so needy for me, aren’t you? Can’t help yourself, can you?” He leaned forward to your lips, with barely any space between them. You could feel his breath hit your lips as you leaned forward to kiss them. To your disappointment, he leant back.
“Mm, always so impatient for me, ” Hyunjin smirked into an impatient, rough kiss, a surprise to you, after he had previously leaned away. "Mm Hyunnie-" you moaned into the kiss, Hyunjin's hands resting on your thigh, "Want you." Hyunjin pulled away from the kiss, caressing your cheek with his right hand.
"Not so fast my muse." He smirked like the devil in a dance, "you distracted me from almost finishing the painting, so now you're gonna pay for it."
He leaned back against his chair, leaving you dumbfounded on the couch. "Now-" he picked up his paintbrush, "-I am going to need something to motivate me to detail this painting, so why don't you touch yourself for me darling?"
"And don't you dare take that pretty dress off." He mused, biting his bottom lip in concentration "That's for me to do later."
You slip your fingers into your cunt, feeling disappointment at them not being Hyunjin's cock. As you start to hump your hand, you could see Hyunjin tighten his grip on his paintbrush, his face ever so scrunched up. He hasn’t fucked you yet, but this is good. You could see that hyunjin has been subtly grinding his long, pretty (and hard) cock against the easel for a good time now. “yeah, ‘m wet for you hyune~” you croon, wanting to cum so bad.
"Just a little more, my muse. Need to get the details right don't I? Need to make sure this pretty body gets what it deserves?"
You exhale lightly at that, trying not to react too much to what he just said.You aren’t sure if he can see you clench around your own fingers or not, but you nod in agreement.You want to move your fingers more, you want Hyunjin to watch you do more. You jolted your hips ever so slightly as you could feel warm liquid coming between your legs.
"Jinnie-" you moaned, eyes still focused on his fingers moving delicately across the canvas, "-want to cum please." Hyunjin smirked behind his canvas and turned his eyes away for a split second. “You want to cum?” he grinned devilishly, wiping sweat off of his forehead. “Y-yes, I— please—” “Hm, but do you really deserve to?” Hyunjin slowly dabbed at a spot on the canvas as your fingers stopped moving around your clit. "Please Hyunjin~" you moaned, feeling more impatient than ever.
"Aww baby." Hyunjin cooed, getting up again and striding over to you, “Tell me how you want me.” “Want your fingers in me.” You whined, watching him get on top of you. "Aww my fingers? How many darling?"
When you didn’t respond, he tilted his head at you, quickly thinking of a way to get you to answer him. His long, messy hair fell in front of his dark brown eyes, waiting for you to beg him. He always enjoyed the sensation of you being on your knees, absolutely going dumb for his cock He slid his fingers into you and his eyes flickered down to your pussy, clenching tightly around them.
He grunted deeply and twisted his other hand on his cock teasingly. His eyes were glued on you starting with your half-lidded eyes and your parted lips, trying to catch a breath. He trailed his eyes down to your chest which rose and fell with each panting breath you took. He traced the curves of your body with greedy eyes, your smooth skin covered with a thin layer of sweat.
You slip your hands into his hair again, pulling him back down to continue the passionate kiss, holding onto him desperately. Youf tingled between your legs when his cock brushed through your folds and bumped against your clit, reigniting the flames of your desire. The heat of him turned you on, as if he’d drugged you with just a kiss, with just a touch of his glass skin on yours. He pressed another kiss to your jaw, ghosting your skin with his soft lips. He gave you a messy kiss, leaned his weight on his arm by your head to drag his rough hand down your body. He took your breath away again, pulled away just far enough so he could follow the path of his hand with his eyes.
"I think you need to be fucked properly, don't you my muse?" He stroked his cock, "Do you need to be fucked hmm?" "Please Jinnie-" you whined, missing the feeling of his fingers inside of you, "-need you against me, please." Your begging words ignited Hyunjin's mind, his eyes filled with fiery desire.
"Hyun- Hyunjin fuck!" Hyunjin slips into your cunt so easily. He kneads your breasts just right, pinching and caressing where you like, and his lips leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck. You moan his name, and you feel his cock beneath you coming gradually to life. You grind your bare cunt on his nourishing cock, and his hand grasps your hair to pull your head. “Behave,” he warns with a chuckle, “Fucking eager, aren't we?” You could feel tears come out, decorating your face along with the sweat. Hyunjin's cock twitched as he saw your eyes all glossy and your face scrunched up, trying not to sob out of the pleasure he was giving you.
“Fuck you’re so—” He groaned, his hips shifting as he sat still for a second and he soaked in the way your lips parted and your eyes rolled back with pleasure. “—Fucking tight. You’re already squeezing the fuck outta my cock.” One thrust, then two, Hyunjin goes deeper into you, your moans giving him Heaven to his ears.
"Hyun- wait - I-I can't-" "yes you can darling." Hyunjin's eyes darkened over you, his hands still on your hair, as yours reciprocated. “Hyun,” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut, the overstimulation making tears slip from your eyes and your legs shake. You felt a shiver run down your spine when you felt his lips on your spine, his tongue running over your skin. He stopped at your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses before he pressed his lips against your ear.
“You’re my good girl right? You’d do anything I tell you to?” He coaxed, his voice deep and smooth, enough to make you want to come right then and there, again. You nodded, not trusting your voice. “Yeah you fucking would. So cum for me, now.” He demanded, his hand slipping down your body to run your sensitive clit and the overstimulation was enough to send you over the edge.
“Fuck, fuck that’s it,” He moaned, his hand squeezing your neck tight enough to bruise, but not enough cut off your air entirely. He turned your head and kissed you hard, tongue slipping into your mouth as he sunk into you one more time before he spilled inside you.
"Whew!" Hyunjin panted as he collapsed next to you. "You know what, this actually is a weird couch. How is it supporting both of us?" You giggled, snuggling up to Hyunjin's warm chest. "Well thank you to Etsy for letting me but it for cheap. It's my most favourite place to draw my muse." You smiled into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around you, the smell of paint hanging around. "By the way," you spoke first after a long silence, "Did you get the details finished?" Hyunjin smirked at you, and buried himself into your neck. "I finsihed that shit a long time before you touched yourself all pretty for me darling." He whispered into your ear as you slapped his chest playfully, getting up to see how he had made a masterpiece of his muse.
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cinnamostar · 3 months
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four dates to fall in love
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part one. part two. part three. part four (here). part five (coming soon).
pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader
summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?
wc : 2.7k
cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, blood/knife ments (no injury, theyre just cooking lol), emotional vulnerability
a/n : welcome to part four. the slow burn is absolutely slowburning. things are happening. i dont have much to say other than it being hard for me to write, but pls let me know what you think!!!!!! likes and reblogs appreciated!
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“It went well?” Chan exclaimed in shock over your speakerphone.
You hum in agreement, confusion in the forefront of your mind, “Surprisingly, it went better than I could have ever imagined,” a sigh escapes you, “I don’t know, it’s weird.”
“Well, the fact he even apologized caught me off guard in the first place.”
You laugh lightly, “Oh, trust me, I still am having a hard time believing it. It’s been so long of him being an asshole to me, so seeing him like this was… very different. A little scary, if I’m being honest.”
“Yet it still went well even though it was kinda weird?”
“I mean, it was really awkward at the start which was annoying, but I can’t blame him. He genuinely did look like he felt bad, so it probably was hard to be in his position,” you think aloud, “But it was getting too much and he was putting a damper on the mood, so I tried to make him more comfortable, which worked. Then we started talking, and I don’t really know how to say it, but it felt… really nice? It made me realize that maybe I did miss our friendship.”
“Well, you guys did get along really well before everything happened. To be honest, I thought there was something more going on before then,” Chan recalls, “Though, his sudden change made me realize I was way off.”
Your eyebrows furrow at Chan’s comment, “Something more? Like romantic?”
He chuckles from the other end of the line, “Yeah, I thought something was going on between you two. You guys just seemed to click really well, better than any other costar you’ve had in the past, even to this day. Lowkey thought it was going to be a Tom Holland and Zendaya moment.”
“Jesus,” you mutter, “Definitely not that, I never thought of him that way.”
“You say that, but I remember the heart eyes you used to look at him with,” he teases.
“Oh, shut up. I did not. Besides, that’s not what’s important in the present time!”
He rolls his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel it in his tone, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re right though, it is a difficult situation for both of you to be in. Other than it being uncomfortable, how are you feeling about it?”
You let out a heavy sigh, “I mean, part of me is happy to be able to have a normal relationship with him, but… I’m still really mad at him for how he treated me. I don’t think it’s something I can let go of yet.”
“That’s okay. You have time to process all of that, no one is rushing you.”
“I know, but for a moment yesterday, I kinda forgot about all that. I had fun with him, and I want to keep having fun, but then I remember everything and feel so… upset that I am even letting him back into my life, even if it's for a bit.”
“Huh…” Chan muddles over your words for a moment, “That is quite the dilemma. I think you have every right to be upset at him, but I also think it’s okay if you miss your friend. I just think you have to figure out what kind of boundaries you want to set for yourself then. I think you can still have a nice time with him without him earning your forgiveness just yet. He can be a surface level friend or acquaintance until he proves himself trustworthy again.”
“You’re right, but I just didn’t like how easily it slipped my mind. Part of me feels like I should still be more on guard and not as friendly, but he makes that hard too.”
“Y/N, it’ll be okay,” he reassures, “You’ll figure it out, but it’s perfectly fine for you to have fun, while still having boundaries, okay?”
You sigh, still a bit unconvinced by his words, “I guess…”
“I know it’s hard, I can’t imagine what it's like to be in your position, but I promise it will be okay.”
“I’ll believe you just this once!”
“You say that every time, but sure, just this once. Call you tomorrow, alright?”
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It was the next evening, and you were anxiously waiting in your apartment for Hyunjin to arrive. You weren’t sure how today was going to go, and the idea Changbin had for you both today made you nervous, as it felt as a far more intimate setting than the previous dates. Although, you couldn’t entirely argue with his logic. Today, he suggested that you both cooked a simple dinner with each other, the idea being that it would help you both learn how to work together towards a common goal, which was dinner in this case.
Despite you being able to understand the logic behind his idea, it was incredibly intimidating to think about having Hyunjin in your own home, especially considering the sudden change in dynamic in your relationship. Even then, you didn’t just let anyone into your home, as you only ever had your closest friends come over for small hang outs, so this was far outside of your comfort zone, but perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe going out of your comfort zone with Hyunjin would only help you both succeed the next time you found yourselves on set, and perhaps something as intimate as cooking together would help you both ease into your roles.
A knock on the door wakes you from your thoughts, prompting you to shuffle hurriedly towards the door to open it for none other than Hyunjin. He greets you with a gentle smile, bowing his head slightly as you let him in wordlessly. There is an awkwardness that hangs in the atmosphere, indicating that you both were uncomfortable with today’s plans and he, too, was likely struggling to find the right words to say.
You take a deep breath in, almost as if you were catching your breath, “Welcome to my place!” You cringe internally at yourself, unable to handle the intensity of the awkwardness between you two and how poor your attempt was to disperse it.
“It’s really nice!” he compliments, standing in place by the entrance after removing his shoes.
“Thank you,” you respond, “Uhm, just follow me, the kitchen is this way. And all the ingredients are ready for us to use, Changbin had them delivered.”
Hyunjin follows you into the kitchen, his eyes taking in every detail around him, filling him with delight to see how characteristic of you the apartment was, it being a perfect representation of your personality. “What are we making again? I don’t think Changbin filled me in.”
“Oh, we’re just making curry udon! It’s something I’ve made before and it’s not too hard. My bad, I didn’t tell Changbin what we were making which is probably why he didn’t tell you. All I did was send him an ingredient list.”
“I forgot you like cooking,” he replies as he stops in your kitchen, quickly turning to the sink to wash his hands.
You hum in response, washing your hands after him, “I think it can be relaxing, but uh, if you want you can start with chopping the carrots and potatoes? I’ll handle the onion and garlic.” Hyunjin nods and follows your orders without much trouble, or so you think, until you turn around and see him holding the knife in a very precarious and questionable manner. Your eyes widen as you rush towards, “Oh my god, that is not how you should be trying to cut a potato. Have you not chopped a veggie in your entire life?”
He smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, “Listen, I don’t do this cooking thing often,” a gentle chuckle leaving him as he takes amusement in your concern, his heart thumping over the sudden proximity you both now shared.
“I-,” you sigh with a baffled expression, “Okay, let me just show you because I am not having you accidentally bleeding out all over my counter.” 
“You’re more worried about your counters than me?”
“Shut up,” you suppress a laugh before softly whispering, “Here, just do it like this,” you reach over and lay your hands atop of his without second thought, guiding him on how to position his hands without the risk of injury. Once you’ve become aware of how your bodies are pressed up against each other from the side, you jump away in an instant, “That’s it! That’s all you gotta do.” You’re quick to avoid eye contact with him, turning towards your own cutting board as you chastise yourself for being so careless with him at that moment.
Hyunjin’s face and ears were soon dusted with a soft pink, heat rushing across his body over the interaction that seemed so natural, but manages to mutter out a quiet ‘thank you’ before trying his knife skills out once more. Despite your momentary embarrassment, you are sure to take sneaky peaks at Hyunjin to make sure he was handling himself well. You move on from chopping and turn your attention to seasoning the chicken while Hyunjin was still focused on the vegetables, going at a leisurely place which you much preferred in this case. 
The rest of cooking goes on in silence aside from the occasional instruction or question, small witty jokes, and touches that seemed to linger more than necessary, but perhaps that was your imagination. Once everything was done, you both sat across from each other, admiring the fruits of your shared labor that was now plated in front of you both. 
“It looks really good!” Hyunjin comments enthusiastically, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his face. 
“It does, right? Let’s eat!”
Neither you miss a beat, taking a huge bite of the udon noodles, letting out a delighted groan over just how flavorful the food was. “Woah,” Hyunjin groans out, surprise at how well tonight had gone thus far with the added victory of food, “Holy shit, this is so yummy.”
“Mhmm,” you mumble out between slurping noodles, “This is better than when I make it on my own.”
“It’s the Hyunjin special that you’ve been missing this whole time,” he says matter-of-factly with a smug smile.
“You’re being pretty bold for a guy who just learned how to hold a knife today,” you tease, playfully sticking your tongue out. Your eyes catch each other for a moment between your fits of giggles, time stopping for the briefest second possible before you both avert your eyes out of nerves. What was that? You thought frantically to yourself, suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied with the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn’t know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn’t want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was. You clear your throat, taking a sip of water as if it would wash away the discomfort, “I guess we are pretty good, huh? Maybe our acting project has hope if we are able to work this well together,” you joke, a very poor, if not disastrous, attempt to alleviate the awkwardness that seemed to follow you everywhere these days.
Your words stab Hyunjin in the heart, the guilt he had once forgotten was knocking at the door of his heart, forcing itself in without his permission. His entire demeanor deflated the moment those words left your lips, his heart writhing at the reminder that the only reason this situation existed was because of him and his blinding stupidity. Yet, here you are, warmly inviting into your home and treating him as if he was an old friend of the past, as if he had never wounded you and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was deserving of any of this. He stood still, gulping down his food before faintly whispering a hushed apology.
“I’m sorry.”
Your head snaps back up, your eyebrows furrowing with worry once you sense the sadness lacing his trembling voice, his head now turned downwards as if he was trying to mask his state. Perhaps the joke was a little too soon, you thought, now it being your turn to feel bad. “Ah, Hyunjin, I’m sorry-” you apologize hurriedly, “It was just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously. I’m sorry.”
He forces a smile, waving his hand as if to tell you to not worry about it, the words at the forefront of his tongue, but caught in his throat due to the heaviness sinking in his chest. Once again, shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn’t be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort. Was any of this okay? Was any of this right? He wonders to himself, still unable to find forgiveness within himself. 
“Hyunjin,” you speak tenderly, your hand reaching across the table to touch his arm, grounding him back in the present, “I promise, it’s okay.” You knew that last bit was a lie, but it was for his own sake and comfort at this point. His treatment, his behavior, his attitude – none of it was ever okay, but you decided to ignore your own feelings and prioritize his. For the first time in two years, you cared about how he felt, you finally cared how your words harmed him, when before all you ever aimed for was a strike to his heart, but today, you chose to comfort his heart that your words unintentionally wounded. Although, your own heart and conscience briefly argued for a moment, one wanting to tend to his hurt, while the other demanded you let him rot in his misery, insisting he deserved it for what he had put you through. It was a tug-of-war you weren’t enjoying, you had almost wished you two remained in your heated hatred for one another and that nothing ever changed. Despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over yourself.
He takes a deep breath in, trying to collect himself before speaking, “I just–,” a heavy exhale escapes him, “I’m just sorry. I just feel really, really, really bad for everything, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to feel bad when I was the one to hurt you.”
His eyes met yours, the glassiness of his eyes conveying the depth of his guilt, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you whisper apologetically, “Listen, I won’t lie to you, what you did was shitty. You did hurt me, but that is in the past. You feeling bad about it means you’re a good person, right? It means you’re human and that you care, but I don’t want you to let your guilt overwhelm you either.”
It was a genuine response in a moment of sudden vulnerability, your response taking him aback, but the words temporarily placating his never ending thoughts, “I guess, but… I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he mumbles.
“You don’t have to yet, but you can learn to eventually,” you reply, “I understand it’s hard, and even I still need more time to do that myself, but I do think you deserve to be kind to yourself.” None of that was a lie, you did truly believe he was deserving of his own compassion, but his culpability helped you see the humanity in him. The spitefulness you once knew him for nowhere to be found, but instead there was only a guilt-ridden man who carried a world of humiliation. “I think I can learn to do so soon, too. Spending time with you helps. Besides, I did miss being friends with you if I’m being honest.”
The last sentence causes him to perk up, a small, satisfied smile playing onto your lips, “Really?” he asks, his ears barely believing your words, but his heart was swelling with hope. His eyes search yours, he can’t help but notice how they glimmer under the soft lowlights of your home, and for some reason, he finds warmth and comfort in them. He knows he can trust you, he knows you are being as candor as possible.
“Really, I mean it.”
“I missed it too.”
“Well, I’ll do my best to learn to trust you again. I’ll learn to forgive you eventually, just for now, it still hurts.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll learn too.”
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taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba taglist cut off at 20 people :)
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skz-streamer · 7 months
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Yes love?
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Simptober Small Things You Do M-list
Pairing: Hyunjin (skz) x fem!reader
Genre: Fluff, suggestive
Warnings: a lil baby bit suggestive ig
Notes: I WANT HYUNJIN >:((((((
-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people
Word count - 547;)
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The room was steeped in a tranquil silence, save for the gentle rise and fall of your breaths. Hyunjin and you lay atop each other, both tired from the passionate events that had transpired just moments ago. It was in these quiet moments of afterglow that you cherished the most – the sense of closeness and intimacy that came from sharing your love so intimately.
With a soft sigh, Hyunjin stirred beneath you, his strong arms carefully lifting your body from his. He placed you gently by his side, and as he looked at your beautiful face, a warm smile played on his lips. The way you looked at him after moments like these always melted his heart, and he couldn't get enough of it.
His gaze settled on his favorite feature – your eyes. They were filled with a unique radiance, a look you reserved only for him. But what captivated him the most was the way he saw himself reflected in your eyes. It was as if you saw him as the sweetest thing on the whole planet, a side of him he thought no one else could see, but you. And that made it all the more precious.
His dark eyes, usually filled with playful mischief or determination, now held a different quality. They were soft, deep pools of chocolate brown, gazing at you with an intensity that was both sweet and loving. It was a side of him that he reserved just for you, a side that no one else would ever get to see, and that made it all the more special.
"Jinnie?" you whispered, your voice a tender melody in the hushed room.
He responded in kind, his voice low and affectionate, "Yes, love?"
With that simple exchange, you bared your heart to him, expressing what you felt in the depths of your being. "I love you," you confessed, your words carrying the weight of your emotions.
Hyunjin couldn't help but smile wider, his heart swelling with affection. He pulled you close, enfolding you in his arms, and the two of you became one. Skin to skin, it was as though nothing in the world could harm or hurt you. In this embrace, you felt safe and cherished, your love cocooning you from the outside world.
Hyunjin's fingers gently brushed away the tangled strands of your sweaty hair, exposing your neck, which he adored. It was his favorite place to be with you, where he felt closest to your heart and soul. He marveled at how pretty you looked, even in this disheveled state, and he couldn't help but think that you were his in every way possible.
In return, you held onto him, feeling the warmth and security of his embrace. It was moments like these that made you realize how fortunate you were to have Hyunjin by your side. In the quiet intimacy of your connection, you found a profound love that transcended words, a love that filled your heart and soul, making you feel complete in every sense.
As you lay together, intertwined and content, you knew that this was where you belonged – in the arms of the person who cherished you as the most beautiful thing in the world, a side of him that was reserved only for you.
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Tags:  @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @cherry-edibles @ren0325 @felixvsp @hwangrimi @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno @herarcadewasteland @dabiscrustyfeet @kai-jilee  @sungiesoonie  @slvtty4channiee @revelaffee @buckys-pillow, @staygirl86 @chlodavids @jinnie-ret @bbygrlhannie @rebecca-johnson-28  @turtledove824  @interstellarairwaves @yearofthetiger25 @minhos4thkitty @fiqire @backintomykpopphaseagain @liknws @tinyelfperson @aaasia111
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jinxhallows · 7 months
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KINKTOBER 2023 || jinxhallows
starting team: Christopher Bang, Minho Lee, Jisung Han, Hyunjin Hwang & Changbin Seo
question - why are you only writing about five members?
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I’m really excited to bring this project to you guys, as I’ve been so deeply supported by members of this community and truly, you guys deserve for all of your wildest dreams to come true. I look forward to spending the month of October with you.✨ non-image banners by @cafekitsune
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the fine print: entries are not daily. not all entries have plot. entries will be posted at midnight in eastern standard time the day they are scheduled to drop. entries vary in length. please read warnings. please google what you do not know. order subject to change but likely will not. i don't require a taglist, but if you enjoy it and want to be alerted to any future postings, please leave a comment, even if its member specific.
October 1st entry #oo1 | costume party (knife play) | lino October 3rd entry #oo2 | accident (watersports) | birthday boy chan October 4th entry #oo3 | my turn (role reversal) | jisung October 6th entry #oo4 | busted (mutual masturbation/voyeurism) | changbin October 8th entry #oo5 | soles (feet kink) | hyunjin October 9th entry #oo6 | vile (humiliation/degradation) | lino October 11th entry #oo7 | interview (distraction) | jisung October 13th entry #oo8 | the doctor is in (medical play) | chan October 14th entry #oo9 | cat got your tongue? (asphyxia) | lino October 16th
entry #o10 | leave it off (hair pulling) | changbin October 17th entry #o11 | midnight (somnophilia) | jisung October 19th entry #o12 | collared (pet play) | chan
October 20th entry #o13 | mine (spitting) | changbin
October 21st entry #o14 | sauna (sweat kink) | hyunjin October 22nd entry #o15 | hello from the other side (phone sex) | jisung
October 23rd entry #o16 | ne sonim (uniform kink) | lino
October 26th entry #o19 | glory (praise kink) | chan
October 27th entry #o20 | landscapes (sex tape/camera) | hyunjin
October 29th entry #o22 | baecation (bed sharing) | chan x reader x lino x reader's bestfriend
October 31st entry #o23 |
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mixtape-racha · 8 months
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enough for you | poly!ot8 (9th member reader)
dating the members of your band was both a blessing and a curse... especially when you had to hide your changes in behaviour from them
words: 3.21k // warnings: established relationship, poly!skz x reader, reader is put on a diet and workout plan, lack of eating, reader takens caffeine pills, overworking, overexercising, reader passes out, the boys get angry (not at reader)
a/n: i am NOT trying to glorify undereating and/or overworking yourself in ANY way, but if you struggle with food-related topics or suffer from an ED please do not read this fic as i don't want to trigger you in any way // based on this request
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you bowed your head with a small - and extremely undeserving - smile as you said your goodbyes to the staff and left your meeting. solo meetings with the staff at jype were always worrying, but this time you wished you had forced one of the boys to come with you.
you had a huge year ahead of you; your comeback being one of the most anticipated of the year on twitter, before your japanese comeback, and then further embarking on a tour. really, you and the boys were enjoying all the free time you had before the workload became overbearing - which none of you could deny it was, despite how much you loved your jobs.
but to then be sat down and given a whole new diet and gym plan? on top of everything else, it was…. hurtful. you were always a little self-conscious of your weight - being the only girl in a group with 8 boys, anything you did or changed stuck out like a sore thumb. but as far as you knew, you were fine. your weight had sat steady since the last comeback, and you were always careful with what you ate and how you worked out.
shaking it off as your manager put a comforting hand on your arm and helped you out of the building to your awaiting car, you assumed that something had changed if the company felt they had to step in. you just hoped the boys hadn’t noticed, and if they had they weren’t talking about it behind your back. 
it was a silly thing to worry about, obviously. your boys only ever wanted what was best for you, and you knew that. merely 2 years after your debut, you had all begun understanding each other on a deeper level, and - under chan’s demand - very, very slowly it led to romantic connections establishing between you all. and now here you are, in one of the biggest kpop groups in the world, working and living and thriving with your 8 boyfriends in one harmonious polycule.
during the drive back to the dorm, your manager was kind enough to let you brood in your silence - he understood all too well that you were bombarded with a lot of information to process during the meeting, especially when your small hands started flicking through the folder you were given. a strict meal plan - every meal and snack planned out to the last gram with no room to move. an exact workout guide - how on earth you were going to do this without changbin noticing something was up in the gym, you had no clue. you just prayed that their busy schedules leading up to comeback season were enough for you to keep this from them - the last thing they needed right now was to worry about you too.
when you finally arrived back at the dorm, you were instantly wrapped into a tight hug by a pouting jisung. you giggled softly as he complained about losing mario kart to felix - again - and how he owed jeongin $100 because felix beat seungmin too. he kept mumbling his complaints into your neck as you waddled to the living room, the sight of the maknae line bickering and throwing popcorn at each other being a wholesome and beautiful sight to come home to.
jisung finally released you from his hold, allowing you to squeeze yourself onto the couch between seungmin and jeongin, the latter instantly throwing an arm around your shoulders as seungmin looked over at you, a smile painted on his lips.
“how did the meeting go? we were trying to figure out why they’d call a solo meeting with you, but none of us worked it out.” he asked softly, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before handing his controller back over to jisung. you weren’t entirely sure how to respond, thinking of an excuse on the spot.
“oh, yeah it went fine. they were just checking what parts of the comeback schedules lined up with my period - after last comeback, they want to try and make that week as easy as possible for me.” you shrugged, knowing the boys wouldn’t ask more questions when it came to that time of the month.
its not like they were disgusted or anything. in fact, they were the most helpful and understanding boyfriends you could ask for. they just never pried, never dug for more information than you seemed comfortable with sharing, and you were grateful for that. especially as you lied. if they asked questions, you were sure you would crumble and tell them the truth. for now, it was just easier to ignore it and join them playing video games.
dinner time that night was your first exceptional challenge. after studying your diet plan in your bedroom, it was suggested that you have a vegetable salad with plain chicken breast and a small portion of sweet potato. it seemed boring and bland, especially with the other meals you were expected to follow. usually, you would follow the boys around the kitchen and see what they were having for dinner - then helping one of them make a larger portion so you could share and eat together. it was so normalized at this point, you’d typically get asked teasingly which member’s meal you’d be planning to hijack that night.
so, of course, when you headed to the kitchen silently and began preparing a completely different meal, a few eyebrows were raised, although thankfully no one asked any questions. they just simply assumed you had a specific craving that night that you wanted to indulge in. truthfully, as much as you wanted to eat your meal in the company of your boyfriends, discussing your days and giggling together, you were deeply embarrassed by the fact the company had put you on your diet plan. so regretfully, you skulked back into your bedroom with your dismal meal and ate in the comfort of your bed with a disney movie playing in the background.
the next morning, you woke yourself up at what felt like the ass-crack of dawn to head down to the company gym. you stuffed everything you’d need for the day into a backpack, silently leaving the door and enjoying the quiet of the early morning during your walk to the company building. the lack of noise and movement in the world was nice, feeling like it had washed away all of your worries almost instantly. every time you saw a stray cat, or a funny street sign, you’d snap a picture to send to your group chat with the boys.
you allowed yourself to send a couple of animal pictures to the chat, assuming the boys would be asleep, and when they woke, wouldn’t notice or question the times that you had sent the pictures. of course, that was a misjudgement on your part, because when the hell did chan ever sleep? as you approached the gym doors, your phone dinged and your heart squeezed at his message.
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lying to your boyfriends in any way made you feel sick to your stomach, but deep down you just didn’t want them worrying about you. luckily, your workout went relatively easily - you were quite active and partook in gym activity frequently so it was simply like a higher intensity session for you.
after you had showered and left the gym, you headed down to the company cafeteria for breakfast. your meal plan stated that your breakfast for the day should be a small portion of mandu dumplings and a pineapple and kale smoothie. you savored the food as much as you could with each bite, knowing you wouldn’t be able to get a chance to eat again until the later evening. your schedule was packed, practices upon practices before your evening workout, and as much as you loved your job, you knew wholeheartedly how much the company liked to overwork you leading up to comeback season.
practice seemed to drag that day, your vocal teacher questioning if you were feeling unwell because your energy just seemed completely off during your session together. you shrugged her off, insisting you were just tired, but in reality you were overthinking every single moment of the day. between the lack of food, and ache from overworking yourself in the gym that morning, you just felt exhausted - both physically and mentally.
after you finished all your scheduled plans for the day, you decided to head to the company cafeteria for dinner - it was easier than going home and then heading back out to the gym, in all honesty. you tried your hardest not to finish your allocated meal, thinking if you left food on your plate that you’d feel more accomplished. however, as soon as you got to the gym and began your evening workout, you knew leaving food was a bad idea. nonetheless, you pushed through the achy joints and growling stomach, even beating your current personal best on the stairmaster before you ended your session.
the stress of needing to be a certain weight before your next solo meeting before the comeback had you stressed and pushing yourself harder than you should, so you opted to walk back to the dorms that night rather than calling a car. the next few days were similar - the ache, and fatigue, and sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you forced yourself into work. staying at the company later, working out at any free time you had, sleeping as soon as you got home without even acknowledging the boys you shared a dorm with. they had slowly started noticing, of course, but it wasn’t until exactly a week after your meeting that things all came to a head.
you had finally noticed in the mirror that morning that you had lost weight - your clothes weren’t fitting how they usually did, and you weren’t even hungry most of the day. the gym had become your best friend, and working out had become so much easier. sure, the fatigue and lightheadedness was slightly concerning, but in your opinion it was worth it to keep your job.
that day, you were scheduled to have a whole-group dance practice in the evening before you all headed home, which the boys were excited for because it meant they could travel home with you for the first time in a week straight. you, on the other hand, were slightly annoyed you couldn’t just sneak off to the gym or make an excuse to stay at the company longer. that day you’d opted to skip breakfast - the idea of eating before a day of work making you nauseous - and instead had chugged an energy drink and some caffeine pills along with your morning vitamins. work was boring, and all day you were itching to just up and head to the gym, or just go on a long walk, but you couldn’t. you were stuck between rooms in the company, and it was honestly stressing you out.
by the time it got to the evening, and you and the boys all met up for dance practice, you were instantly scooped into a hug by hyunjin, giggling as his hair tickled your skin.
“finally! missed you so much, pretty girl. feels like i haven’t seen you for more than 30 seconds lately.” he mumbled against the skin of your neck, the sensation making you shiver.
“don’t be silly, hyun,” you grinned as you pulled away to help him tie his hair into a ponytail. “i’m right here now, not going anywhere.”
practice started pretty quickly after that, considering jisung was running late after vocal lessons, and you quickly realized that not eating that day may not have been your best idea. the haste of your movements had your head spinning more than usual, and you felt like you were tripping over your own feet every two seconds. you couldn’t sworn you were moving in slow motion with everything around you sped up, and no matter how much you tried to shake the feelings off, it wouldn’t leave.
you stepped forward through a wave of your boyfriends, fighting to keep your eyes ahead and complete your center dance for the bridge in the song, but it was to no avail. your heart thudded and you internally cried as you felt your body collapse to the ground, black dots circling your vision and your ears ringing loudly.
the thud your body hit the ground with was sickening to the boys who looked on, minho rushing over to try and catch you since he was the closest. they were fast to carry you to the couch in the corner on the practice room, seungmin practically sprinting out of the room to get you cold water and ice from the cooler in the hallway. of course, they knew you had been acting strange, but they never realized it was something so big or detrimental to your health - both physical and mental.
“she feels lighter… god, how did we not notice she’s lost so much weight?” felix practically wailed, his eyes brimming with tears at the sight of you sickly pale and unconscious in his arms.
“when was the last time someone saw her eat?” changbin quizzed, his frown only growing as jeongin piped up.
“forget that for now, when was the last time she had a drink?”
seungmin had reentered the room by that point, a cup of ice and a separate cup of water in each hand. felix had his hands in your hair, fingers tangled between the locks as he stroked your head soothingly. chan had crouched in front of you, cupping your cheek and softly rubbing the skin with his thumb in an effort to gently wake you up.
when consciousness did finally grace you again, you groaned. your head was pounding and you felt gross, and sticky. you tried to sit up, surprised when felix pulled you back down to lean on him from behind you. it was only then that you looked around and took in the worried faces of your boyfriends and bandmates, instantly flushing red in shame that you disrupted practice.
“i’m so sorry–” was all that managed to escape your lips before seungmin held out the cup of water in front of you, swiftly cutting you off.
“drink. we’ve got ice, too, and jisung has a protein bar in his bag that you’re eating, okay?”
you blanched at his words, sipping the water while carefully trying to decide your next words.
“i appreciate it, but i’m fine. i don’t need to wait, i just need some water and i’ll be fine.”
yeah, that sounded good in your head. not too many details, but enough for them to hopefully drop it - at least, you hoped. but unfortunately, the universe didn’t want to work in your favor that day, as you eyes fell on chan and his worried - but stern - face.
“(y/n)...” he started, and your heart dropped at how exhausted and scared he sounded. “what’s going on? when’s the last time you ate? and don’t lie to me, please.”
you sighed, looking around the room and accepting that the game was up. you just hoped they would understand, and they wouldn’t be mad at you. it was bad enough that disrupted practice, you couldn’t handle your boys being disappointed with you too.
“i…” even just looking around the room at the scared faces of your boyfriends, all ideas of lying slipped away from you. “yesterday lunch time. i had a chicken salad…”
you looked at the floor, too scared to face their disappointed stares as you felt felix’s hand shift from your hair to your shoulder. tears were welling under your eyelids no matter how hard you tried to blink them away, and you knew you couldn’t keep it a secret anymore.
“love,” changbin asked softly for his position on the floor next to chan. “is this why you’ve been going to the gym so much? why are you doing this to yourself?”
you shook your head unable to reply, as you felt chan’s hand on your knee.
“we’re just worried, pretty girl. ther’s no need for you to be doing this to yourself, you know that, right?”
you couldn’t help the way you groaned loudly, all your recent frustration pouring out in that moment. it was like a dam had broken, and you couldn’t stop yourself.
“it’s not me! i don’t want this. it hurts and it sucks. it’s– it’s not me.”
“can you elaborate, angel?” felix asked softly, his breath tickling your ear from his proximity to you.
“it’s…” you sighed, knowing that if you didn’t tell them now, then you never would. “it’s the company. that meeting, last week i– they gave me a diet plan. told me i needed to lose weight before the comeback. i just didn’t want to let anyone down…”
your voice slowly trailed off as you gained the confidence to look up, meeting the distraught expressions of your boyfriends. shock, disgust… anger…. you weren’t sure what scared you more in that moment. really, you tuned out everything that was going on around you, sipping your water in hopes of combatting the thudding in your head.
it was only when jeongin crouched in front of you with his signature smile plastered on his lips that you came back to reality. he hed out his hands to you, helping you stand, as everyone packed their belongings up.
“we’re gonna head home, okay? order in some food and have a movie night, if you want that?”
your eyes leaked again at their concern, the group of you leaving the practice room and headed down to the company lobby. “i’d love that, innie… but where are chan and minho going? aren’t they coming home with us?”
he shook his head as the rest of the members, along with yourself, headed out to the cars waiting for you outside the building.
“they’ll be right home - they’re just going to talk to the staff… make some ‘arrangements’, as channie-hyung worded it.”
you were too tired and mentally exhausted to ask any further questions, allowing the boys to bundle you into the car without a fight. when you finally got back to the dorm, felix and jeongin helped you shower, before you met changbin in the bedroom to help you get dried and dressed for bed.
by the time you got back into the living room, chan and minho had arrived home, but they wouldn’t answer any of your questions - opting to give you the television remote instead as they placed bags of takeout food onto the coffee table.
and thats how you spent the night; curled up on the couch with your favourite boys, enjoying takeout and watching movies. it was perfect, and you couldn’t believe you allowed the words of staff members to take this feeling away from you.
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oh, and you later found out chan and minho had gone into a meeting room all guns blazing, threatening to sue if the company risked your health the way they did ever again. you were never put on another diet plan after that, and used your experience to speak out about the mistreatment of idols due to unobtainable beauty standards. life was good.
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taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha @4evrglow @skz-streamer @crybabyychu @demetrisscarf
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straykeedz · 5 months
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me and @astraysimp are excited to announce our first collab!! 🥳🩷 as the name implies, it will be a small novel of dad!stray kids fics - 16 chapters in total, 8 smut and 8 fluff. whether unplanned or not, they realize they love their new roles as dads and we're overall really excited to merge our two ends of the spectrum-fluff and smut. this is really exciting for us and we hope you’ll enjoy our works 🫶🏻
han jisung : part 1 ; part 2 ;
seo changbin: part 1 ; part 2 ;
bang chan: part 1 ; part 2 ;
lee know: part 1 ; part 2 ;
hyunjin: part 1 ; part 2 ;
seungmin: part 1 ; part 2 ;
felix: part 1 ; part 2 ;
i.n.
this is the order in which we’ll be posting our fics. the taglist is currently open, comment or dm us to be added!
🏷️: @mellhwang ; @autumn583 ; @hyunsvngs ; @hotchnrz ; @galamxy ; @ebbaskz ; @turtledove824 ; @galaxycatdrawz ; @fawnpeaks ; @bigsobs4skz ; @143lix ; @bangchans-babygirl ; @aaasia111 ; @reid-deiri ; @tenshimara ; @dancerachaslut ; @peachygirlsthings ; @saturnandgold ; @justscrollinthrough ; @jesuisstay ; @shinywolfbears ; @lewoh-ot8-wh0re ; @alnex05 ; @mixtape-racha ; @shujohajohaminnie ; @heartheartisa ; @skzstaykatsy ; @manuosorioh ; @whosanaanyway ; @cvntywonyo ; @lilinaskzz ;♡
-> reblog to show us your support! “it’s good for motivation” a man named chris bang once said.
also, make sure to follow @astraysimp bc her fics are soooo good and they always make me tear up (always happy tears)!! 🩷
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j-niret · 8 months
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dollface. | hhj
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✩‧₊˚ pairing — hyunjin x f!reader genre — established relationship, newfound romance, sappy love <33 warnings — tooth rotting fluff, smut, love making, oral (f. receiving), piv, breeding kink, praise kink, cute hand holding during s*x >.<
a/n: ahhhh, i’m finally back w another post !! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ i feel saur bad for not posting in a while but i’ve been super busy w school and other stuff ughhh. but i had lots of fun writing this and it was supposed to be WAY shorter than this but uh… got carried away ig? lmaooo. n e ways, enjoyy and lmk your thoughts on this, muahhhh
wc — 2.2k
꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷
there’s nothing quite like being passionately in love. being with that special someone who you call your one and only, your other half. the one you rush home to every night after a long day at work, venting as they listen with open ears. the one who knows you better than themselves and remembers every tiny detail you tell them. the person you want to spend the rest of eternity and take your very last breath with.
you couldn’t picture this experience with anyone else but hyunjin. everyday felt like a new chapter of a fairytale when you’re with him, his love was profound, gracious, and so thoughtful— he spoiled you immensely with affection. hyunjin is a patient and understanding lover, he’ll always do things on your terms and never pressures you into something you aren’t comfortable with. his kind and caring nature is what drew you to him in the beginning, he had a timid personality at first but it didn’t take long for him to open up and reveal his true inner self around you. in his eyes, everything felt so easy with you, as if he already knew you in a past life; it almost scared him how quickly his feelings grew. hyunjin couldn’t help it though, within only three weeks of knowing you he asked you to be his girlfriend and the rest was history. a full month has passed and though you’re both still technically in the “honeymoon phase” you don’t think this feeling will ever truly dissipate.
what you love most about hyunjin is his attentiveness, he wasn’t lying when he said he knew you in a past life; his ability to read you like a novel came as second nature to him. he could almost tell instantly when you were upset or feeling down, and he knew exactly how to cheer you up, he’s partially the reason why your confidence has gotten so much better lately. hyunjin makes you feel more than wanted, he provides you with constant reassurance and cares more about you than his own self. “you’re the reason i keep going, my reason to strive to become a better person. i don’t know where i’d be without you baby.” he admitted in the first month of dating, most people would be scared off by how intensely he feels when he’s in love, but you? you embraced it dearly, you embraced all of him. the bond you two shared was like no other, he was meant to be yours and you were meant to be his— souls connected by fate. before you met hyunjin, the concept of soulmates seemed unbelievably cliche, but now, you can’t comprehend how you once lived a life without knowing him.
hyunjin would move mountains for you, he’d do absolutely any and everything to make you happy. you like to believe the relationship is an equal 50/50 ratio but hyunjin is beyond whipped for you, the first thought in his mind when waking up every morning is how beautiful you look when you’re peacefully asleep, making sure he doesn’t cause too much movement to wake you up. as soon as you do though, he’s instantly all over you, showering you with his sweet honey-glazed words and kisses softer than velvet. beautiful, captivating, endearing; those are what you’d use to describe the way hyunjin shows his love. he loves unapologetically and has no shame in it, he doesn’t care if he gets called a “simp” for wanting to please his girl— people only see your relationship from an outside lens, they’ll never understand and it didn’t matter to either of you. hyunjin is a lovesick puppy for you, always craving your touch when you aren’t around, but as soon as he’s with you he’s all yours.
“baby, you know you can use me whenever you’re stressed, you look a bit worn out and could use some much needed relaxation. tell me what you want, just say the words, i’m here to please you dollface.” god… he knew exactly how to make you melt after a tiring day of work, and that nickname; dollface, the way it rolled off his tongue so elegantly made you a dripping mess. “y-you don’t need to, you already do so much for me hyunnie… i appreciate how much you wanna take care of me.” you sheepishly respond, hyunjin wasn’t too keen on your answer though. “i know i don’t necessarily need to, but i really want to. let me be of use to you princess, please, just wanna take care of you, anything you want and i’ll do it. there’s no one in this world i’d do this for besides you, i wholeheartedly believe i was put on this earth to be with you.” his words pulled you in like a magnetic force, easily getting you to cave to his desires, who were you to deny your angelic entity of a boyfriend? you let his hands freely roam your body, noticing the faint black nail lacquer coated on his fingertips as he palms your breasts outside the skimpy tank top you wore underneath your work shirt. hyunjin’s plush pink lips connect with yours for a moment, relishing in the sweet taste of you as he pinches your lightly covered nipple. “m’gonna make you feel so amazing… you’ll feel like you’re floating after this, trust me dollface.”
the petname he gave you never left his vocabulary since the day he first said it. he’d say it in the most sensual tone, you never realized you might have a voice kink until you met hyunjin. one moment you were kissing him slowly then the next he was below you, in between your precious thighs. his tongue felt like heaven, gliding the wet muscle against your sensitive bundle of nerves, letting you gush all over his face and chin. hyunjin couldn’t help himself, he loved feeling your legs shake around him, hearing the subtle whimpers and cries escape your lips— this is what keeps him going. “hmmmnn..” he’d hum against your aching core, sending a vibration of tingles to your spine. your hips involuntarily buck into him, grinding against his mouth as he sucks on your puffy clit, making you moan out his name in utter utopia. “hyunjin… hyunjin… mmphh fuck..” eyes rolling to the back of your head from the way he’s french kissing your cunt. hyunjin loves taking his sweet time with you, he’s never been the type to rush anything, he prefers making love over just pure “fucking”, he sees no point in sex if it’s not meaningful to him. you can feel the passion through him as he went down on you, eating your pussy like it’s his last meal on earth. your toes curled from the intense pleasure, tears almost forming in the corner of your eyes from feeling slightly overwhelmed— you’ll survive though, you always do.
“mmm… shit! t-think m’gonna cum ssooon hyune.” you mewl, body heat rising faster as you feel yourself getting close, your hands land on top of hyunjin’s head, lacing your fingers through to grab a fistful of his soft chocolate brown hair. “yeah? gonna come on my tongue like a good girl for me?” he pants heavily before diving back in, this time picking up a faster pace, your body felt like it was burning from the inside. “ahhh, fuck yes, hyunjin!” arching your back from the sensation, vision going blank for a moment as you come undone for the first time tonight. it’s no surprise hyunjin can make you orgasm so easily for him, he already knows your body so well— better than any man has ever attempted trying in the past, no one compares to him. hyunjin lifts his head up from between your legs, looking up at you with those endearing puppy dog eyes, face glistening with your wetness as he crawls over to give you a heartwarming kiss. you wanted nothing more than to be filled up completely by him, the crave for his cock gets more intense when you feel the massive boner he’s sporting underneath the tight boxer briefs he’s wearing. “hyunjin..” you whimper pathetically for him, “yes baby?” “i need you inside… p-please..” you were being more than needy right now but he wasn’t going to make you beg for it, he never did, he was just as willing to give you his cock just as much as you wanted it. “only since you asked so nicely, i’ll give whatever you want when you talk to me like that. i’ll fill this cute little hole up and stuff you with all my cum dollface.” his cock twitched at the thought of breeding you, he wants you to have every last drop of him inside.
“sss.. ah shiiit, so fuckin’ tight.” hyunjin grunts from the way his cock is getting swallowed by your heat, never keeping his eyes off watching while sliding it in. your legs wrap around his waist securely, mouth going permanently agape as he buries himself deep within. as soon as he picked up a steady rhythm his lips go to your neck, kissing and nipping at it delicately, fucking you so nice and slow. his hips moved gracefully, languidly pumping in and out while leaving small hickeys to your neck and chest. your warmth made his brain short circuit multiple times— one more stroke and he might just lose all consciousness. hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from admiring the way you looked right now, even during this he finds your beauty absolutely astonishing. he wants to hold you so bad, more than anything, but he can’t do that now, so what’s the next best option? holding your hand of course. hyunjin’s hand creeps up beside yours, gently taking it into his grasp, intertwining your fingers. he thrusts into you a bit a harder this time, but not too hard to the point where you’d want to scream, just softly moaning out his name like a sweet lullaby. “i love you y/n.” hyunjin murmurs out, not fully realizing what he just said. this was the first time he’s ever said this, he’s always thought it for quite some time but he dared not to say until the time was right… well, until now.
you were a little taken aback from his confession, since you two have only been dating for a month but you can’t deny that you love him too. you’ve never felt so strongly about someone in such a short span of time, let alone finding your soulmate you want to the spend of your life with. a loud sigh releases from you as he angles his hips differently, providing you with much deeper strokes. “i-i love- fuck.. i love y-you too hyune.” you croak, barely able to speak from how good he’s making you feel, you squeeze his hand tighter, eyelids momentarily fluttering shut from so much pleasure. hyunjin was ecstatic to hear you loved him back, he knew since the day he met you that he’d end up falling for you, how could he not honestly? he was so happy he could cry, his emotions were all over the place but right now, he wanted to give you what he’s promised since this started. “ughh… ‘m really close babe..” he mumbles out, slowing down slightly as his strokes get sloppier, reaching out his free hand to rub gentle circles on your clit. you don’t say anything in response, instead you draw out more semi-loud moans, biting your lip as you feel your climax approaching too. everything around you felt fuzzy, you continued whimpering out, gripping his hand tightly, clenching around his cock as your soul cries out in triumph. hyunjin let’s out a deep guttural groan, releasing his milky white essence inside, both bodies trembling from the aftermath.
“so fucking beautiful,” he lowly husks, “already came twice for me good job babygirl.” his praises made you feel so loved and appreciated, literally the sweetest boyfriend you could ever ask for. “do you really love me?” you hesitantly ask, anyone can say anything during sex but your actions afterwards is what truly matters. hyunjin’s eyebrow furrows confusedly, “yes, of course i meant it, i’ve never told anyone i loved them before. that word holds… a lot of meaning to me.” he’s never felt anything close to this before, he knows this is real love. “god, you’re so damn perfect.” the compliments wouldn’t stop, he could go on the biggest tirades about how much you mean to him. your nose scrunches at his sweetness, giggling a bit, “you’re so cute.” your lips curl into a dainty smile, mind still feeling hazy from your post orgasm. hyunjin leans into you closely, staring at your pretty lips before planting a chaste kiss to them. nothing can compare to this, being young and in love. there’s nothing better than creating memories with the man you want to be with for the rest of your life, start a family and grow old with. only one person you could ever see a future with and that was hyunjin. he’s more than sure about you too, he’s even more excited for what’s to come, ready to embark on this long journey of love. he attempts to get impossibly closer than he already is, wrapping his arms around your frame and kissing your forehead, “you’re way cuter, dollface.”
꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷
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ilwonuu · 1 month
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helloo! hope you're doing good <3 I have a hard smut thought..... HYUNJIN ATTENDING THAT VERSACE EVENT? THE FIT? THE PHOTOS? DADDY? SORRY? DADDY? well to get this off my mind i'd like to request a fic with hyunnie using reader as his muse or reference for a painting. He had known the reader since long and had a fat crush on her, the feelings were reciprocated but both never knew. One fine day hyunjin asks the reader to paint her with veryy prettyy lingerie initially she agrees on it. But eventually he gets pretty horny and asks the reader to get naked and then he continues painting. He can't take it anymore and he confesses his love for the reader the reader does too. They kiss and then..... can't wait to see your fic on thiss!!! Take care lots of love
OMG. this is a GREAT IDEA THANK YOU!!! i hope u enjoy<3 thank u for ur request !!!
how i see you
↬ hwang hyunjin
﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚
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𓆹 pairing- dom!hyunjin x sub!reader, friends to lovers
𓆹 summary- hyunjin makes his move on you. receiving more than intended.
𓆹 warnings-they have crushes on eachother, painting in lingerie/while naked, pet names, dirty talk, unprotected sex(what did you expect) penetrative sex, fluffy at first, lmk what else
𓆹 a/n- i got WAYYYY too carried away like seriously. im falling into a hyunjin hole. he can fall into my hole (please) im so sorry LMFAO lmk what u thottttt
໒꒱🌱⠈⠂⠄ ‹𝟹 🚞〃 ˝ ໒꒱🌱⠈⠂⠄ ‹𝟹 🚞〃 ˝ ໒꒱🌱⠈⠂⠄ ‹𝟹 🚞〃 ˝
hwang hyunjin. the pretty boy you met in your painting class sophomore year of college. he was sweet to you. (he thought you were the prettiest person in the world) he wanted to look at you at all times.
he loved the way you did your hair and dressed. he wanted you so bad. finally deciding to act somewhat on his crush, he asked you to model for him.
he wanted to draw you so bad. not counting his sketches he would get of you when you had your painting class. he loved your features. you agreed to model for the boy. getting your final touches on your appearance. making your way to hyunjin’s finally. you shaking away your nervous feeling. you arriving sending him a short text. he eagerly opens the door- well you don’t know that.
he was more than excited for you to be in his artistic space. and he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous. “welcome in. make yourself at home! let me know if you need anything.” he smiles at you helping you get comfortable.
“thank you.” he nods at you.
“of course. okay- how do you want to do this? you’re still comfortable modeling in your lingerie?” he asks you. his eyes shifting to your lips and down your body and to your- okay.
“yeah i’m comfortable with it if you are jinnie-“ he chuckles at the nickname. his heart loving the sound of his name with your voice. gosh he just wants to kiss you.
“okay- well i already set up my living room area. you can just sit or lay on the couch however you like!” he suggests with a smile.
“yes. that’s perfect.” you smile back. taking off your clothes that was covering your beautiful white lingerie. hyunjin thinks he hasn’t seen a prettier sight. you soft skin against the light fabric. it hugging against your body perfectly.
“is this okay?” you ask referring to your lingerie. the boy is caught in his thoughts. he can’t take his eyes off your beautiful body.
“i-yea it looks great on you.” hyunjin smiles at you. hoping you don’t see his dick hardening in his pants. he just wants to kiss your lips. “i’m ready when you are.” he tries to bring the attention back to you.
“yea let’s do it.” you try to shake your nervousness laying on his couch. “okay um get in a position you can stay in for a while. don’t want you to get uncomfortable half way through.” he laughs at his words.
especially when he sees that they made you smile. “okay i think this is good.” you finally say picking your spot. laying back to shift your gaze to hyunjin. “then we can start right away.”
he sits in his chair thats in front of his easel. he starts sketching the outline of your body. his gaze slightly intimidating at first. his gaze softening soon enough. you relax a little bit.
he gets entranced with your angelic figure. beginning to add the paint to his light sketch. “yo-you look so beautiful by the way. i had to tell you.
i really like that lingerie on you.” he eyes you again. allowing his fingers to stop. “thank you- you look good too. you always do.”
you confess not really knowing why you did. but hyunjin loves every second of it. “thank you. so do you.” he smiles at you again. his dick getting harder the more he paints the outline of your body.
“y/n- i know this sounds a little- crazy but if you would feel comfortable with me painting you naked? i think it would look really beautiful as a painting.” him hiding his hand against his dick softly.
“yea- i mean i’ve never done this before but i want to try.” you look at him at you start to take your clothes off painfully slow hyunjin thinks. he just wants to take you just like that.
“yeah you look- shit you look great let me keep going.” he practically begs you as he picks up his paintbrush painting in the features he sketched. not forgetting to not add the curve and dips of your body against the couch. he thinks you look perfect like this.
how could he not get hard? he tries to continue painting you for ten minutes. ten minutes too fucking long it seems. hyunjin is rather impatient. “y/n? can i tell you something?”
he ask nervously as you see him put his paintbrush down. slowly getting up to move closer to you. “yea of course jinnie.” he moves closer to you. joining you on the couch. he sighs.
“i’m so in love with you. every second of the day- i want to be with you! i want you always.” he admits as he he relaxes into your touch. you gently pulling him into a hug. “hyunjin- how have you not noticed that i want the same as you.” you smile and his excited expression. “i don’t know- i was scared i’m so happy you feel the same. can i kiss you?”
he asks leaning in before stopping himself. “yea- wait what about the painting?” he shakes his head. “all i want is you right now.” he pulls you into a sloppy kiss. his lips are softer than you could’ve ever described if you tried. never wanting to leave his lips.
wanting more and more as he kissed you longer. his hands roaming your body as he kisses you deeply. he is kissing you with so much want in him. he pulls away suddenly. “can i make you feel good? only if you want to of course.”
he asks you. “yes p-please.” you not caring much about your stuttering. hyunjin his moving to laying you back so he can hover over you.
you immediately tugging his shorts down seeing he doesn’t have boxers on. “no boxers? were you thinking about this? be honest-“ you taunt and you receive a shameful nod.
“can i finger you princess? want to make you feel as perfect as you are to me.” his hand is dancing up your leg teasingly. you want nothing more to have him touch you. “please j-jinne.”
his dick hardens even more at the whininess of your voice. “don’t worry. my pretty princess gonna feel so good.” his fingers don’t hesitate to snake around your slit. “i knew you would be this perfect for me.”
he removes his fingers from you to throw his shirt off. you whine at the loss of contact and the new sight in front of you. “hyunjin-please!” he cuts you off kissing your lips spreading your legs what he thinks is subtly. sliding his thick long finger into your wet cunt. groaning at how wet you are. “come here-“ he is pulling you into another sloppy kiss. “more hyunjin please!”
he doesn’t say anything just adding another finger inside you. “so good for me. my good girl. you look beautiful like this.” he watches your face and how it shifts in pleasure. “gonna cum princess? tell me like a good girl.” your legs are shaking rapidly.
his right hand spreading your legs wider as he fucks his fingers faster. you see his dick rubbing against the couch. pulling moans from him. “cumming ah please-“ as soon as those words leave your lips his fingers are tugged away from you. “n-no! was so close.”
hyunjin coos pulling you towards him by your hips. “i know baby. want you to cum on my dick. don’t you want that?”
he asks the the last part as he rubs h is dick against your folds. not breaking eye contact with you once. “p-please!” he kisses your jaw.
“you can take it princess?” he is peppering your face with kisses. causing you to blush. “yes i can take it jinnie!” he groans opening your legs pushing in softly. “you feel so fu-fucking good.” he laughs in disbelief watching where you two connect.
“tell me when to shit- move.” you clench around him. loving the feeling of being full. “fuck me jinnie.” you moan out wrapping your arms around his neck. he speeds his hips. fucking you deep, his arms propping himself to hover over you.
his gaze deep against yours. “i’ve thought a-about you- about this so often.” he breathes into your neck. “oh it’s so much- than i imagined.” he whines as his hips get rougher and more desperate.
“perfect princess. need you so bad. gonna let me make you mine?” you nod at his words. he moans into your skin again as you feel his hips buck. “gonna give you all my cum princess. tell me you’ll take it.” his question is hard to focus on. upon the boy looking so dead in your eyes while his hips are drilling into you.
“want it- all of it hyunjin p-please.” he smiles devilishly. “perfect girl. my pretty princess. taking all of my cum. if you could see how i see you. you are so fucking beautiful.” his final praise sending butterflies through you. as hyunjin also sends his cum through you.
he loves the way you clench at the feeling. cumming hard on his dick. “jinnie-“ you cry out for him. his hips slowing but not stopping as he starts to fuck his cum into you. “s-sorry you just feel so good.” he stops his hips pulling out. he pulls you into a kiss.
“can i still paint you? i didn’t lie about how beautiful you look. still would be a beautiful painting.” you comply<3
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arcanesea · 1 month
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colors
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PAIRING: hwang hyunjin x reader GENRE: fluff, established relationship WC: 558 WARNINGS: none
"There are only 3 primary colors, right?" you ask mindlessly as you watch Hyunjin's brush glide across the canvas. You heard a low hum from him before asking, "Who named the colors?"
he rolls his eyes, and a thin smile creeps on his face.
"What's on your mind pretty?" he asks softly, still focusing on the canvas in front of him. You had agreed to be his muse today. Though a very basic muse, you must say. He doesn't even let you hold any props, so you just sit there with a flower slipped in your ear.
"Well, orange comes from mixing red and yellow, so why not call it yed?" you propose.
Hyunjin stops to look at you with his confused face. "Yed?"
"Yes? well, you mix yellow and red? Yed? Or should it be redow?"
"You're absurd," he laughs, continuing his sweep of brush. You're cute, was what he was actually thinking. Since you sat on that chair, you hadn't stopped talking about everything, from the workplace stress you're currently experiencing, to stories of stray cats in your apartment complex. Your voice was a better substitute for the music he put on every time he started painting.
"Green should be called yellue," you push forward. Laughing when the words repeated itself in your head. "Isn't that cute, Hyune, yellue?" you ask.
"Sure, my love," he answered. "Tell me everything on that pretty head of yours."
"I think, you don't need me to sit here," you said softly. Hyunjin laughs again. If he's being honest, it's his first time drawing the muse directly. He could have snapped a picture of you and used it as a reference, that's what he always does. But who he is to say no when you're the one offering to be his muse for a day?
"Weren't you the one offering yourself?" He asks, not paying much attention to you who had started to stand. You stopped in your tracks, thinking to yourself.
"Right..." you shyly said. You walked behind him, leaning down to rest your chin on his left shoulder. You are the muse, but you're certain that the scene doesn't look anything like his painting. Not in a bad way, just in a very hyperbole way that the background colors seem to be muted while he gives you the spotlight with all the vibrant colors.
Hyunjin turned his head, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "What do you think?"
"I don't think there's any word that can describe the elegance of that painting, Hyune," you answered. "I think you're a great artist, I'm pretty sure I'm not as beautiful as the person in the canvas."
Hyunjin puts down his palette on the little table next to the canvas before standing up. He grabs your shoulder, just looking at you. No matter how many times he memorized your features, he can't stop admiring your angelic nature.
It's true that an artist's eyes see colors in a spectrum that's never existed before, but you're different. Hyunjin had always thought that he already saw all the colors of life, but your existence in his life gives him a taste of a new kind of rainbow. And he wished for nothing more than you to see yourself from his point of view.
"Believe me, my love, no colors can do justice to paint you."
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a/n. Ramadhan Kareem everyone! We're well fed this month by the amount of skz record the kids released and some said we're getting cb announcement at fanmeeting😃 can't wait!!!!!!
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