#once i'm gone chap 1 part 2
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the warrior and his healer — neteyam x reader ☄. *. ⋆➢ part four!
other chapters are up! read it here -> chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3
(give this chap and part 3 some love guys)
setting: awa'atlu, pandora.
pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader
warnings: teensy bit of angst, emotions i guess, mentions of drinking (honestly dunno if that's a thing with the na'vi) aaand they kiss! cuties
summary: neteyam survives and it is all thanks to your stubbornness. you and your friends go out to celebrate after ronal chooses you as one of the healers. maybe this is where your feelings unravel.
a/n: i'm kinda wondering why chapter 1 is going up and the latest chapters are kinda slow but that's probably just how tumblr works. and lets pretend spider just doesn't exist. anyway i think this is the last chapter so enjoy! by the way the ending is to die for so make sure you read it okay im squealing
after that disastrous day, you, with the help of your friends had brought neteyam to an empty marui nearer to where most of the healers lived.
for those 4 days he was resting, you were willing to walk far to reach that marui, just to check up on him. his wounds were already stitched up, so he was healing in a stable condition.
the elder healers would find you asleep by him in the marui. the bond between both of you warmed their hearts — so they'd leave you alone with him.
the sully siblings also visit him a lot, accompanying you for a lot of the time. tsireya, ao'nung and rotxo also came to visit. the sullies, as well as jake and neytiri, couldn't stop thanking you for what you did — if you hadn't left the village, he would've been... gone.
it was clear to many people now, your affection for neteyam.
— ☄. . ⋆✧ .
you grumbled softly, a little impatient on when neteyam would finally wake up so you could talk to him again.
the village now has healed a little, but many were still closed off due to the shock of the battle. a lot were injured, some were shot, too. but luckily, they all ended up alright with the help of the tsahìk, the healers, alongside with you and a few other girls.
you gazed at the sleeping boy in front of you. "come on now, teyam. you promised you'd come back." you whispered, as if he could somehow hear you. you hoped he did. he looked peaceful, as if he wasn't just shot 4 days ago.
his usual azure blue colour turned into somewhat of a sky blue. he was a little pale, due to dehydration and not eating for the past 4 days.
you heard soft footsteps from behind you, turning around to find kiri and tuk smiling gently at you. "still waiting, i see." kiri started, nodding over to neteyam.
you turned back to look at him, bringing an arm around tuk's shoulders who sat down right next to you. "i can't miss the moment he wakes up."
kiri sits beside you. she glances over — your right hand was holding onto her brother's. she can't help but smile at the sight. you both were definitely made for each other, she noticed how your eyes were filled with care and warmth as you watched him.
there was a time during training when you had asked her, if neteyam had anyone that he liked. there was, and as we all could guess, it was you.
on some nights, before going to sleep, neteyam would talk to her about you. he would tell her what's happened when you both were out, how you were like when you were studying. it was no doubt really, that he shared your feelings.
you may have thought that he treated you like everyone else because he saw you as nothing more than a friend, but kiri noticed how he'd purposely give you the ripest fruit out of the bunch that he had collected. how he would hesitate to meet your eyes when he talked to you, but would stare at them when you weren't looking.
he cared more for you than you thought he did. he always has.
a little later, you could feel the hand you held moving slightly. your eyes that was once on the people outside snapped towards him, startling tuk and kiri a little.
your eyes scanned his face to check whether he was actually waking up or if it was just your imaginations.
"neteyam?" tuk was starting to see it too.
the world seemed a little brighter when you saw him trying to open his eyes, his brows furrowing because of the brightness that was coming in from a window.
"uh, kiri—" she caught on before you could finish and went up to shut the blinds, then came running back to your side with the hugest smile you've ever seen on her.
you couldn't help but smile yourself. "tuk! go call the others and tell them." tuk nods hurriedly and bolts out the marui. you could hear her happy giggles, and it warmed your heart even more.
"oh teyam, you're finally awake," your voice came out as a whisper, only kiri could hear you. you resisted crashing into him with a hug, knowing he needs time to — re-awaken himself? whatever it was. you let him take his time.
"______. kiri. where are the others?" there was that incredibly hoarse voice again, due to the disuse. it reminded you of how his voice was the first time tsireya brought him to your marui.
"they're coming. tuk is calling them." kiri replied for you.
the more you looked at him, finally awake and moving, the more overcome of emotion you became to be. your dear best friend — he was finally here.
he wanted to sit up, and though with your objections saying that he should lie down for a few more minutes, he shook his head, attempting to do it on his own. he couldn't though, so you and kiri helped him.
"i'd fall back asleep if i were to just lie down." he mumbled lowly, with that familiar grin on his face. you only gave him a poker-face in disbelief. "you're really joking at a time like this?"
"oh come on. you know you love me for that." he teased, giving you a full smile this time.
and you did love him for it. he was way too optimistic during troubling times, but it was exceptionally endearing to be annoyed at.
you grumbled, rolling your eyes at him. you couldn't stay mad though, it ended up in you chuckling at him with kiri. "you absolute dork."
heavy stomps from behind you caught your attention. you three looked to the entrance — and there was tsireya, ao'nung, rotxo, the other sully kids, with jake and neytiri. the look of intense relief instantly replaced their out-of-breath ones, running towards neteyam.
neytiri was the first to be kneeling beside him, immediately bringing him into an embrace. "oh, neteyam, thank eywa," she croaked out, squeezing her eyes shut.
the other sullys gathered around him, while your metkayina friends gathered behind you, smiling warmly at the re-united family in front of you.
happy tears found their way to your eyes, so then there you were, crying. you covered your mouth so you wouldn't disturb their moment.
but neteyam saw you, and brought you into their hug as well.
— ☄. . ⋆✧ .
a few days after neteyam woke up, he stayed in his family's marui to recover and regain strength. he earned it back in just a short amount of time, with you coming over a few times to give him medicines for any sort of aches. it was mostly muscle aches, meaning he insisted on you being the only one massaging him. he didn't want anybody else doing it.
this boy's gonna be the death of you. (not that you were complaining.)
then, comes a day when he was all recovered and healthy again. it happened to be the day you were finally going to take the dreaded test. neteyam came over to your marui at dawn, wanting to help you prepare for it before it starts in the morning. you really wanted him to rest a little more, but you could use some reassurance, so you let him in.
you, however, went ahead to not accept his words of consolation.
he watched you go over all the plant names, their uses, their side effects, everything that you had learnt and everything you could think of.
most of the time, you were pacing around the entire marui, and i mean entire — it was a cycle. you'd start reading the facts out on your sleeping hammock, and then you'd end up sitting under it. after that you'd roam the area where you'd prepare food, then moving across the marui to your shelves.
you only ever stopped your pacing whenever neteyam said something to try and help you. it wasn't helping though. not one bit.
this was the longest you went with rambling. and neteyam had had enough.
"_____. stop it."
"stop what?"
"that." you examined yourself. you weren't doing anything? you were walking around the entire place like a maniac, that's all. why should that be a problem?
"what about no?" you deadpanned him. he returned the same expression back to you.
he got up rigidly from where he was sitting walked towards you and placed his hands on your shoulders. "you. ______. ever since tsireya brought me to you that day, all i've ever seen you do was study, eat, train, sleep. that was all. i've seen how you would be on the verge of tears when you couldn't understand something. but then you proceed to understand it anyway. you know more than you think you do."
you gulped, shaking your head. "no. neteyam, that's different. today's the test—"
"could you listen to me? like, for once? eywa give me strength." his arms dropped to your hands, holding them with a solid grip. your eyes narrowed, "i would but the last time you wanted me to do that, would've ended up with you dying."
"but you didn't! because you saved me, for eywa's sake. you, managed to save me from a weapon that you've never ever seen in your life. do you realize that? you know enough. so could you please, please stop stumbling around like you're drugged and finally take a break. at least let's go and have food or something?"
you said nothing.
"pull yourself together now. talk to me." he pleaded with you, searching your eyes for an answer.
you averted your gaze to the ground, speechless. after all, he was right. no, not that 'you know enough since you saved me' part, but because you did seem like you were drugged. eyes and ears droopy, tail flicking around nonstop.
okay, we're kidding. you did find truth in his words, you could answer any question he asked about medicine and healing right off the bat. you were just immensely paranoid.
you gave in, sighing. "fine. let's go have breakfast." you grumbled.
he smiled softly at you, and you could swear though your heart was kind of angry at him, it skipped a beat.
he did not let go of your hand as you both walked to the eating area. didn't even let go as he walked you to the healer's test area after that.
"i know you hate me for dragging you out your misery bubble, but i know, and i swear on a million suns, you are going to do just fine."
neteyam brought his hand up from your shoulder to your face. he caressed it gently, and you were aching to lean into his touch. thankfully he pulled away his hand at the last second, giving you a smile of reassurance before he started to walk off.
you can hear some of the girls who were participating in the test swoon over his action, stopping at the second you turned around with your unintentional tired death glare.
you sat by them, waiting for the tsahìk to come and commence the assessment.
you stared at your hands that he held all morning. his touch on your face lingered, and you dwelled on it. does that mean something?
well, obviously. how are you this blind?
— ☄. . ⋆✧ .
the test was done. you exhaled sharply, being the last getting up to leave.
a hold on your wrist stopped you in your tracks. turning around, you met eyes with ronal, the tsahìk.
you had spoken to her a few times, when you were over at her marui to hang around with tsireya and ao'nung. she had an unreadable expression on her face most of the time, but in this moment, she had a glint of proudness in her eyes.
"_____. neytiri has told me how you had saved that eldest son of hers. from a sky demon's weapon. is that true?"
"uh— yes. i did do that." you nodded at her words, hesitantly meeting her eyes.
this was worse than all those study sessions. "how impressive." the tsahìk finally responded, after a few seconds of unnerving silence.
when she let go of your wrist to let you go back, you could swear you saw a pleased smile on her face.
you made the tsahìk smile. now that's something to remember.
—
the next day, you were done. the pressure on you was lifted when you completed that test, allowing yourself to finally give yourself a much needed break. so you slept in.
however, you were a light sleeper. when you heard your mother calling your name, you opened your tired eyes and got up from the hammock, scratching your head.
"_____! hurry up and get yourself ready. the tsahìk has made her choice."
your sleepy eyes widened in full alert when you heard your mother say those words. "what? already?"
you didn't wait for any other response, you ran straight to the springs to bathe yourself.
you took only a few minutes to bathe, and you neatened your hair after that.
you didn't want to bring up your hopes. if you weren't chosen, you'd only be disappointed. your entire head was absolutely blank with no expectations, on auto-pilot as you got yourself ready.
when you were done, you walked out of your marui, seeing your parents already waiting for you outside. "hurry now! the people have gathered by the shores. your friends are all waiting for you."
a small smile crept up your lips as you walked to the spot with them both. it was getting pretty exciting, at this point.
"_____!" you heard tsireya calling out for you, so you weaved through the crowd looking for her. she was near to the center of the gathering, alongside all your other friends.
your smile got even wider when you saw her. you ran over to them, tsireya jumping animatedly like a child. "i'm confident that you'll be chosen. i know you will, that's what i've always said! don't try to deny me." a beaming smile was plastered on her face. you tried to find words to respond with, but the tsahìk had already came to announce her choices.
she stood on a bed of black stone, which acted as a stage. you looked up to her, seeing a proud smile on her face. it was a rare expression to see, so you were wondering who among her choices earned so much of her approval.
"people! i'm sure we have all been waiting for this day. i will be announcing the young ladies that i have chosen to help out the healers. this is a high position, as you all may know. this work, it is a matter of life and death." she started, the crowd going silent as they took in her words.
"we'll lengthen this event no further. i have chosen 4 girls who will become healers, alongside my tsakarem, tsireya."
people around you cheered. they quickly settled down though, anticipating the tsahìk's choices.
your heart started to race faster. "the first in line, is _____!"
all eyes were on you now, and you were smiling so much your cheeks were starting to hurt. the people cheered once again, and your friends were all tugging on you. the joyous looks on their faces made your face heat up, that sense of accomplishment filling through your entire body. this was the happiest you'd been in months.
"oh, i told you! i told you, _____! i knew you'd be chosen!" tsireya was shouting so much, you were starting to worry for her throat.
you looked back to ronal, and she beckoned you to come and stand beside her.
all those sleepless nights were so worth it.
you looked into the crowd, still smiling as ronal announced the names of the 3 other girls. you didn't really know them well, but you applauded for them and smiled at them when they stood beside you. they shared that same look of glee that you had.
you couldn't quite hear what ronal had said next, because as you focused into the crowd, you found neteyam and zeroed in on his face.
he's got that gleaming smile on him that you've always found yourself weak for. he's waving at you, and cheering for you. your smile reached up to your eyes as you subtly waved back at him, your hand by your hip, hoping he'd see it. he did.
"meet us all by the cove at night." he signed, and you nodded slowly at his message. you watched as they all retreat from the crowd.
you shook your head, casting your eyes down to the ground, smiling.
you weren't exactly sure what they were planning. but what you were sure of, was that it was going to be one hell of a night.
— ☄. . ⋆✧ .
after a long day of celebrating your victory with your family members, you told your parents that you were going out to celebrate with your friends. they allowed you, but told you to not come home too late.
you skipped happily toward the cove, where it was prettiest at night. the waters surrounding it would shine, so you often went there on nights when you couldn't fall asleep.
you turned a corner and there they all were. except for tuk though. poor girl's got a bedtime.
"ah! there's my girl. see what i told you?" neteyam began, once you were in his line of sight. you hid your face behind your hands, getting all bashful at what he said. my girl. it rolled off his tongue so easily.
he guided you by your waist to where they were all sitting at — around the fire, chatting and drinking without a care in the world.
"_____! congrats on becoming a healer, seems like you'll have more guys coming to you. careful, neteyam might get jealous— ow!" ao'nung hissed, at neteyam who swatted him behind the head. "let's not go there. why would i be jealous?" you felt your heart drop a little at those last words. he seemed pretty sure about it too.
you sat in between tsireya and neteyam. you were sitting normally beside them at first, but tsireya inched closer to lo'ak, and you with neteyam. an hour later, your head was laid on his shoulder, while his head rested on yours. he had an arm around your shoulders, and you were holding his hand that was hanging off of it.
you knew everybody could see this. how both of you seemed to be too close for comfort. it certainly did not look like friendly touching either. this was some next level shit. you didn't care though, you missed him. you missed this feeling.
you took another swig of the bottle, the sour taste of fruit running down your throat. you seemed to be just fine, no dizziness or out-of-character mannerisms, you looked as normal as usual. so, you continued drinking from it.
neteyam turned his head to look at you. "might wanna calm down on that, hm?" his hand reached out to take it away from you, but you stopped it by pushing it away with your free hand. "ah-ah. this tastes nice, so i'll keep drinking."
he chuckled down at you. "you sure you won't get drunk, love?"
you were about the take another sip, but your arm stopped its own movements when you heard that name he called you. he never called you that.
you sat up straight now, looking right at him. "hm. i don't think im the drunk one here," you studied his face to check for any signs of him being tipsy, but he looked fully sober and alert.
it hit you then, so hard as if a boulder came falling from the sky. you took a deep breath in. "teyam, is there something you need to tell me?"
that voice of yours, eywa, how it affected him. and that nickname you had for him, he feels like he'd melt into the ground everytime you said it. and the way you looked at him. he ran a hand down his face before taking you by the hand, away from the others.
he brought you behind the rocky walls, taking a look behind him to be sure that no one was following you two. impatient and overcome with a wave of confidence, you tugged on his hand. "you alright?"
his jaw went slack. if you listened close enough. you could hear the gears turning in his head, thinking about what to say. after a few seconds, something finally come out of him. "i really can't pretend anymore."
ah. there it was, what you've been waiting to hear for months now. but it's not fully out yet. you decided to act oblivious and maybe, tease him. "what's happened? have i done something wrong?"
he was quick to deny it, shaking his head. "no. no, not at all. i um— gosh, don't make me say it. i can't say them."
there was the shy neteyam that you first met. unable to meet your eyes, staring at the ground.
"fine. i'll say it then," you grinned, a hand of yours reaching up to cup his face. "look at me, neteyam." you whispered, hoping he'll look at you properly. it took a second, but he's looking at you now. right into your soul.
"i see you."
those three words that left your lips — it made both of you shiver. but he was looking at you in disbelief, and it kind of scared you, fearing you said something wrong. you anxiously scanned his face for any signs, something that would tell you how he's feeling.
"please say something, teyam."
oh, you really knew what you were doing with that tone, messing with his heart like that.
"can you say that again? please?"
so there was nothing to be worried about. your stomach was doing somersaults as your eyes roamed his face, his bioluminescent freckles painted him, only making him look so much more stunning. has he been this beautiful this whole time?
with a shy smile, you placed both your hands on his shoulders, repeating the words. "i see you, neteyam. i've felt like this for the past few months now, you've really got me weak, y'know?"
he's speechless and stumped. you've got his entire heart now, right in your hands. this could've been a dream, some sick joke you were playing — but it wasn't. you loved him, and this was real.
he's brought your hands from his shoulders and into his. smiling softly down at you, he says, "yawne, you have no idea how long i've wanted to hear that."
both your hearts beat as one now that the truth was out. his hands traveled to your waist to pull you closer, and yours around his neck.
you both gave in at once.
©ronalsgirl
AND SHE'S DONE! so sorry how i didn't give more kithy kithy details but im super tired right now LMFAO
tagging: @azaleaniath @theycallmesia @saturnheartz @mirikusashes @thesecretsoftheuniverse @fanboyluvr @neteyamforlife @xaoxin @naynay2808 @parrotpeggy
tags that won't work: @amortencjja @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @goatmilkaddict @erenjaegerwifee [help im actually confused are these "not working tags" working or nah? cus when i type the user in after the @ it doesn't show up but it still links to your guys' accounts somehow]
thank you to everybody who's supported this miniseries. im absolutely grateful to every single one of you. <333
[dm me if you spot any errors!]
#neteyam sully#neteyam imagine#neteyam#neteyam sully x y/n#neteyam x reader#neteyam x you#neteyam sully x female reader#neteyam sully x you#neteyam x metkayina!reader#neteyam avatar#neteyam fluff#neteyam sully x reader#neteyam fic#avatar 2#avatar#avatar the way of water#avatar way of water#james cameron avatar#avatar 2009#avatar fluff
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THE BASTARD OF CAMELOT [REVIEW]
-PART 1-
I been told to start with this one. "The bastard of Camelot" by "Llamagirl" in itch.io, using twine.
So another Arthurian IF, nothing new, nothing original, but with the diference that we get to play as Mordred, it seems.
I must admit that I am curious to see how this story unfolds.
If done well, it can always be an interesting perspective, living the story through the eyes of the supposed villain or outcast.
Without further ado, let's get down to business (Spoilers included)
PROLOGUE
Well flowery prose is going to be a thing, but I don't see as something necesarily bad.
We start with the scene of a Morgana, girlbossing the whole court of Camelot, because she can.
Let's assume that the baby she's carrying is Morded, who will be the MC, but the scene serves quite well as a prologue.
It's fun to see Arthur's reactions, possibly questioning his life, and the fact that a hottie made him go full Alabama, without realizing it.
Let me tell you that I must break a lance in favor of King Arthur here. Okay, the guy was hot as balls, but that doesn't justify that Morgana knew very well what she was doing. I hope the game doesn't try to justify this. So the one who screwed up was Uther, not Arthur. But well, I'm seeing that she'll be a great mother by now.
So basically, the kid will not be reconigzed, yadda yadda. It's me or we gonna have a Evil Merlin this time? Well, I look forward to it, once again. It may be interesting.
I don't know what are the author intentions, but Arthur looks like a good chap to me. I mean it seems the game is gonna take an actual quite realistic approach to the whole political thing, which I'm already grateful for already. Too many if go into weird cartoonish systems, or the typical "peasants are dumb" by default. So I can understand the whole "let's hide the kid identity"
Morgana is not exactly winning many points with me, she is almost hysterical. Like, lady pls calm down, and think of your child.
But we need the drama. Give to us.
I mean, okay I can understand she is angry, Uther was a complete asshole, but hell how is this Arthur's fault? The man wasn't even there. Like seriously my woman.
Tbh I never been a fan of the Sins of the father, unless the child are like 100% okay with what the parent did, and doesn't seem to be the case. And now we even get prophecy time. MC is totally gonna fuck over Camelot they say.
Chapter 1 & 2
Okay so get start at 6 years old. Tender age with mommy dearest explaining stuff to us.
Well I gotta say that what this IF is doing right, is basically writing a child properly. And in the IF world that's not a easy feat. The smol Mordred is annoying, so this means the author is doing a great job.
I knew Morgana would give me my vibes. Woman is hellbend on this useless revenge of his, to the point of ignoring her own child wishes. I should have expected that. Let's have a child to use them as a tool, what can go wrong.
Well it good to see that Junia's doesn't seem to agree with Morgana's bullshit. Well I'm Junia right now, I don't dislike Morgana at all, but woman what the heck are you doing.
Oh heck yeah, I'm not letting see your father, but I'm gonna abandon you at 6 for a fucking month, because my delusions are more important. Talk about motherly priorities here.
Good to know she is fucking the knight.
I feel bad for Mordred tbh. Lesons at 6. Man that's rough. Let the smol child go outside and play. They have rights.
Oh but of course "mind controlling" is seen as something positive by Morgana. This woman is far gone, I tell you.
You know you may be fucking up, when even your friend questions your bullshit.
Too much skin options for my taste, but hey, hurray for customization.
Once again, it's good to know Morgana has been shit talking Arthur to their own child. WOMAN PLEASE STOP. Ofc Junia is here to save the day. Like I'm sure the man ain't perfect, but hell. That's an ass move.
You can't never have a fantasy history, without the local "church" being assholes.
I like the Merlin child. She is cool. Looks quite mature.
So now we are finally going to the continent, and of course all mother dearest can think about is, CONQUERING THE PLACE.
It's good to know that we got another father, that we don't know about EITHER.
Well a bit of bullying and a bit of roughing. Just another afternoon. It's time for some fireworks I guess.
I love Morgana enabling the violence.
OKAY NANA IS THE MOST BASED CHARACTER, SHE GETS IT.
So there was another child. This woman is literally trying to take children to Avalon ignoring the parents. Someone call Arthurian social services. We got a grave case here.
So, you isolated your child, and now you want them to be friends with the other child. Oh yes, nothing wrong here.
We gotta meet our dragon, wowie time.
FINAL TOUGHTS
Okay I gotta admit this have been a good read. I didn't notice I was finishing chapter 2 already.
The prose is flowery but it's easy to read too, and I'm must admit that I like how the character are getting fleshed out (The main ones at least) it's good to see everybody has a different valid perspective. The customization options were entertaining, but they don't seem to affect the narrative, or at least not yet.
It's good that I didn't get a lore dump, the author seem to be taking the "show don't tell" at heart, which is something positive, specially on a fantasy setting.
So In general, I look forward to see how it gonna go from there. I hope there's a timeskip, no matter hoe well written, being a kid can get boring.
I can't wait to be able to interact with the Camelot knights and Arthur himself, and see which options are avaible.
And with this, I finish the first part of the review.
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*Tojikai has an update
Me: I AM SPEED
I read it all in a span of 15 to 30 minutes and I'm regretting it now bc I want more. This chapter is like the calmness before the storm and because of that, us reader defenseless ass (and (Y/N)) is about to be caught off in it once again. Truly, another "sike" moment from Kai.
First of all, if PM!Gojo is a frog, I would like to put him on the operation and dissect him on it just to see what's going on with this man. I know PM!Satoru is very egotistical and selffish but this chapter really shows it.
"He wanted you to open your eyes just to see you look so lovingly at him for the very last time before he runs away with someone else." This part makes me want to reach through the screen and slap this hoe silly bc while I understand that is just his wishful thinking, it shows that a part of him still wants to have his cake and eat it too. He still can't make up his mind about his feeling for her but he still wants her love despite being the one betraying her and still wanting to return to his side hoe. Pray to god that those thoughts are just thoughts bc I might gone apeshit if it happens otherwise.
“After all, you’ve always wanted her, right?” THIS GODDAMN LINE, FOR SOME REASONS, GIVES ME SO MUCH WHIPLASH I ALMOST DISMISSED IT AS A THROWAWAY LINE FROM SATORU UNTIL I WAS LIKE "HOLD ON". Is this a confirmation from our beloved Kai? That Suguru still has a part in the competition? I know some readers want Y/N to heal first and maybe, just be happy by herself at the end of this fic. But I can't help it. Suguru has shown how much of a chad he is in this chapter for truly caring for Y/N as a friend first and putting his personal feelings aside for the sake of it. He's not like you, Satoru so maybe, keep your advice to yourself?
Y/N... Girl... Oh man, seeing her just struggling around with her wrecked mental health is just so heartbreaking. She's still yearning for Satoru and I'm pretty sure if the asshole suddenly pulled up, she would go back to him right away. She's still too weak against him. Y/N is definitely the type to get herself easily into a toxic and abusive relationship, and this is just Satoru we're talking about here. But I was glad to see that she has learned (or at least tried to) to accept that Satoru is no longer hers and tried to get used to it, and maybe move on... until the very last part which gave me so much dread bc it could regress all the deveplopment she has gone through. Satoru is going to fuck it all up and I just know it in my heart bc the bar for Hoejo is in hell. It always a party whenever you're around, Hoejo.
I never expected to be free from the hoe Rie and this entire chap gave me that false sense of security before you popped it off with the Satan herself showing up right at her stolen man's best friend's house???? Like what tf is she doing here? Okay, but I think there are two possible reasons for it.
1. Rie, being a clingy bitch herself, wants tag along and be with her boyfriend 24/7 for some reasons and maybe uses this chance to befriend and win over Suguru, his best friend, and to make up for the bad impression she has made.
2. Hoejo is just that brazen and insensitive and as far as I remembered, he, Suguru and Y/N used to have their own bonding moment which is playing billiards? And Hoejo wants to visit him to have their bonding too but with Rie this time.
....Or maybe, and I really hate for this to be true, since you have incorporated the underboob tattoo from an anon, you have also decided to give either HoeRie or Hoejo the idea of getting matching tattoos or some shit. I lean towards Rie more (I'm not biased here bc this couple can always do so much worse together) bc she's probably so insecure that she wants a physical mark, a reminder that Satoru will always be hers, and she wants to push their relationship to the stage. Also, getting matching couple tattoos feel too much of an intimacy and a level of commitment for the current Satoru to be able to handle. I mean, look at his discarded 5 years relationship with Y/N. Do you think this hoe feel comfortable enough with that towards his nearly 2-month infatuation? But he will probably go along with it anyway bc of Rie's insistence and reassure her.
I hate Rie and I know I sound like I'm being biased against her bc of that, but from what I've seen of her so far, the above feels like it can become a reality. Maybe I'm just being paranoid and thinking it up like conspiracy theories, but we will never know when it comes to you here, Kai :).
Finally, Hoejo's reaction in the last part. His seemmingly outrageous reaction... Very curious, indeed. He's shocked and mad probably bc he has misunderstood the situation (again), and it's either bc:
1. He warned Suguru not to take advantage of Y/N in her vulnerable moments and this scene is his worries and fears becoming true.
2. Combined with the first reason, he's also jealous of Suguru. I have noticed that Satoru always emotional when it comes to Y/N and Rie, but it's even clearer in the former's case. And his ego and pride took a massive hit from seeing this.
All in all, shove its up your ass, asshole. You have no rights to be mad. You literally came to Suguru's front door with your side hoe next to you when he hasn't shown any sign of being comfortable with her yet. Do you even know shame? And although it's just a misunderstanding, you are going to take it and suck it up if you just so happen to walk into Suguru and Y/N getting it on for real.
Okay, but... OMG! NOT CLICKBAIT! SUGURU VS SATORU BRAWL IS REAL!??! Are we getting it in the next chapter??? I know it's too god to be true but with how the last part is, it's a perfect set up for that sfadghkjjljljljljljkjeas. THIS CHANCE IS HARD TO COME BY SFSDSOJPKPKPKK
There are too many possibilities for what about to happen so I will refrain from saying it in this ask bc it will be very long and it's all speculation anyway. But I know for sure how Satoru will deal with this will be incredibly important. His irrational anger was what caused Y/N to be sent to the hospital after all. And it might affect his relationship with both Suguru and Rie if he does jump into conclusion this time. I really want Y/N to stand her ground and calmly explain the situation to him but the sight of him with Rie combined with his impulsiveness probably won't allow that to happen :((. He better not getting mad at Y/N 😠. She and Suguru are innocent. Kai, when will my girl get to have her own peace? This just can't keep happening to her. She won't be able to move on if the thorns named Gojo Satoru is not getting rid of. LET HER FIGHT BACK.
Anyways, thank you for another exciting chapter and preparing us for the next ;). Also, please don't let yourself feel pressured about updating. Everyone on here has been nice so far but I know some people are more impatient than another, but they should use this chance to learn how to wait. Write at your own pace and you won't feel burn out that way. Have a good day and good week, Kai 😘😊
ooooh im loooooving thisss :> your analyses are always on point !! 👀 about yn's healing process, she has progressed a lot, albeit not even in the half, considering what happened to her, she's a lot better now. she's more carefree and her acceptance of what happened between her and satoru helped a lot with leaving her vices behind and instead focusing on whatever she has beside her, like shoko and sugu !! and yeah, the couple tattoos for rie and satoru is not impossible 👁️ and if that happens, that would definitely break yn, bc in 5 years that satoru and her were together, he never got something like that w her :(( it might take her a few steps back. and yes, how Satoru will deal with that situation can really change a lot but how yn deals with it can affect things a LOT too !! :> this is such an interesting read, you never miss!!
thank you so much for the kind words, bb~🥺♥️ much appreciated !! please, take care of yourself as well and i hope you're having an amazing week !! <33
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Thank you @daisywords for the tag!
I'm tagging: @ficsinhistory, @late-to-the-fandom, @words-after-midnight, @queerlilchinchin, and @sassyglitterchaos.
Your words are: Filter, Laughter, Worse, Quell, and Sabatage.
My words are: Drift, Dare, Please, Pry, and Bright
Drift- Not Found
Dare- Legacy of the Fallen Chap. 2
Her eyes bulged as the box almost looked like it shifted under her gaze, her breath stuttering as her hand began to shake. In the low light that strewn in from the open doorway, a second source appeared. A turquoise glow seemed to originate directly above her, dimly lighting the white walls in a blue-ish sheen. When she looked up to see what it was, however, the light followed the path of her line of sight.
She snapped her head back to look at the box, the glow following once again. Her breath was coming faster, her legs feeling weak under her weight. Her hand, still outstretched, flexed absently, the muscles in her arms tightening. A tearing sound just caught her attention, her breath stopping altogether when she saw the makings of a hole just starting to show on the side of the box.
Anna ducked into a crouch without thinking as a rip rang through the room, her arm moving from in front of her to being raised above her head. She could just see the silver flash at the top of her vision, her fist abruptly closing around something cold and solid.
She opened her eyes from their sheltered position staring at the floor, the blue light was now gone. She felt her arm lower back to her side, gripping whatever now rested in her hand with white knuckles. She didn’t dare breathe, she didn’t want to raise her gaze to look at the box, nor to see what she held. Her eyes moved on their own, straining from her bowed position to see the jagged hole that punched outward from the cardboard.
Slowly she forced her head to turn to her right hand, her fingers slipping slightly on textured metal. A silver blade expanding outward from her backhanded grip sent a gasp that shuddered her body. Crystal, wing-like structures jutted out on each side of the hilt in an admittedly gorgeous guard. A silver V-shaped joint connected the simple length of the blade which was almost as long as her forearm to the hilt, with only a sharp hourglass indent two-thirds down the blade interrupting the classic shape. She shifted her fingers slightly, the ridged lines on the grip making it easier for her hand to balance the alien object in her palm.
Please- Legacy of the Fallen Chap. 5
TW: Mentions of abuse
“Are you doing okay?” She switched topics, his face falling slightly at the question.
“No worse than usual,” he met her eyes, letting her know he was telling the truth. After all, it wasn’t like he hadn’t lied to her before.
“Will you be okay?” She watched him, her brown eyes more serious and caring than anyone gave her enough credit for. It meant the world to him that she knew his normal was bad, though he could do without her almost daily check-ins.
He hesitated in answering, the night before had been… rough to say the least. That morning, he had hardly been able to motivate himself to get out of bed. His mom had screamed at him until her voice went hoarse and then some, her feet beating into him as she loomed above.
“Stay at my house tonight,” Rachel interrupted his thoughts. “Please.”
He shook his head automatically, knowing that his mom would never allow that, especially with what had happened.
“What even happened this time?” Her voice was quiet, and he knew that some part of her didn’t want to know. He also knew that she was going to imagine the worst if he didn’t say anything, letting her imagination run wild.
“The usual,” he told her. He wasn’t going to tell her any more; he didn’t want to say more.
She bit down on her lip, her eyes growing stormy with the reddish haze she got when angry.
“I was the bigger person; literally and figuratively,” he gestured to his six-foot-tall self, trying to lighten the mood even a bit.
Pry- Legacy of the Fallen Chap. 1
She let out a soft sigh, letting her breath fog the window further. She refocused her eyes on the pavement, creating an imaginary trail with her gaze while they drove along. Anything she could do to distract her from the inevitable pattern of going to a new school would make her day better.
Truly, it was getting old. They didn’t have much to move with just the two of them, but place after place, lifting boxes and dragging around what little furniture they hadn’t sold. She was only fifteen, and she really didn’t think she was supposed to feel old already. The one hope she held about this place, above all the rest they had been, was her uncle.
Throughout the years, her father had hardly spoken of their family at all. When he did, he always spoke of them in the past tense, leading her to believe for many years that they had no other family. So when he had told her about Joseph, his brother who was only a year older than himself, she had been confused, to say the least. She had heard him talking on the phone with him many times over the last couple of months, their conversations only ever serious or sombre. What they were talking about, however, she didn’t pry.
They had been living in Minnesota for a week at that point, and her opinion of the place was no different from many other places. Whether they stayed here or left, she just wanted to settle back down, just as they had when she was younger. She knew that her father had been a restless spirit since her mother was gone, having trusted friends watch over her while he was gone for weeks at a time, sometimes coming home more disheartened than when he left. She missed him during the times he was gone, but he had always overcompensated when he came home, the affection and care he had shown her as a single father leaving her unable to hold resentment of any sort. She supposed he had waited until he deemed her old enough to travel with him, as the borderline nomadic lifestyle was not one for a kid. She had been able to see some amazing sights, however, travelling much further distances than most her age.
Bright- Legacy of the Fallen Chap. 6
Was it necessarily his business what was going on? No, but he hadn’t been able to shake the idea from the beginning that Jacob didn’t have someone to support him in the ways that mattered. Asher couldn’t pretend that he didn’t jump to adopting the socially awkward guy as a pseudo little brother; never mind that he was younger than Jacob. He didn’t know if that’s how Jacob saw it, but that was how he saw it, and that was that.
He noticed him leaning against his locker with one ankle crossing over the other, an action that sent alarm bells through his head. Never, in the six months he had known him, had he done that. It was unheard of during passing time since the hallways were too crazy to just stand in one place and expect to be given enough space for such things. Next, he was staring straight down at his hands, which were gripping each other lightly, not holding anything, not tapping against his leg or running through his hair. Something was wrong, terribly wrong.
He approached his friend, dodging around other students and groups that were too engaged in conversation to notice where they were walking. He stopped in front of him, watching him expectantly. “What’s wrong?”
Jacob was very still, just his eyes raising to look at him. His unusually bright golden-brown eyes held a darkness to them that Asher wasn’t used to. He could feel his muscles tense, suddenly on high alert, but he forced himself to relax. He had to keep calm to be able to help his friend.
He looked around the hallways, sighing at the continuous flow of students all around them. He shoved the idea of getting to class on time out the window, thankful that Ms. Larson was the most likely to excuse him for a situation like this.
“Come on,” he clapped Jacob on the shoulder, pulling him from the wall of lockers and directing him in the opposite direction that he would have gone to get to class. He led Jacob back to the spare classrooms, choosing a door he knew was usually left unlocked and slipping them both inside.
He flipped the light switch quickly, revealing the multitude of extra desks that were pushed all along the walls, chairs, and more desks piled atop them. Random boxes were strewn across the floor, looking like they hadn’t been touched since the start of the school year.
He turned to face Jacob, the other boy now standing stiffly with his arms crossed over his chest. “If you want to talk,” Asher began, softening his voice. “I’m here to listen.”
#writer#writing games#find the word tag#tag games#my writing#i love this game#this got lost in my drafts
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I posted 2,589 times in 2022
194 posts created (7%)
2,395 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@cheeriosandwine
@earlgrey-aziraphale
@holycatsandrabbits
@zaxal
@anonymousdandelion
I tagged 2,588 of my posts in 2022
#good omens - 2,315 posts
#ineffable husbands - 1,601 posts
#insert heart eyes emoji - 1,022 posts
#oh i love this - 720 posts
#cuuuuuuuute - 570 posts
#lol - 368 posts
#crowley - 317 posts
#aziraphale - 264 posts
#ineffable husbands fic - 257 posts
#this isn't technically fandom related but you're getting it anyway - 223 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#i think this is why i'm not really a fan of matchmaking fics with other characters pushing too hard for them to get together
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Crowley’s car keys were in his pocket. Said keys were always in Crowley’s pocket. Said keys had been in Crowley’s pocket since the 1920s, literally at all times, unless they were being used. Crowley had never once had a need or desire to take the Bentley’s keys out of his pocket and put them in a ceramic bowl made by a university student on the counter of the bookshop.
Aziraphale gave him those irresistible, shiny eyes.
“Sounds perfect, angel,” Crowley croaked, fishing the keys out and dropping them with an unceremonious clatter into the bowl.
tread lightly on my ground by @ineffable-doll
76 notes - Posted March 10, 2022
#4
“Yes, we’re looking to purchase a bed,” Aziraphale said, and then plowed straight onward with: “Can you tell me, are people meant sleep with all of those pillows, or do they take them off every night, and put them all back on in the morning?”
Crowley made a small, pained noise in the back of his throat, because he was fairly certain that was not the etiquette, but the woman just smiled. “Some people like to have a routine,” she said. “Did you have something specific in mind, for a size or a firmness?”
“Oh, something… something large enough for two, I think,” Aziraphale said a bit hesitantly.
“A queen or a king?” she inquired politely.
“Oh, definitely a queen,” Crowley said with a grin, and got a soft smack to his arm for his joke.
Love Makes a House a Home by @kedreeva
105 notes - Posted June 18, 2022
#3
“I want to know,” Crowley said, completely ignoring the question, “what you think gives you the right to come back from the dead and nearly give me a heart attack in a fucking Tesco.”
“I came back from the dead?” Aziraphale demanded, and his voice had gone high-pitched. “And what do you think you’ve done?”
Till death do us part (or not) by @geometricfractal
115 notes - Posted January 7, 2022
#2
“You’ve had a cat for five years and didn’t see any need to mention it?” Aziraphale asked, flabbergasted. He’d told Crowley about Jasper as soon as he’d seen him next. Crowley had come over with expensive wine and even more expensive sweets the night Jasper had passed.
“Years?” Crowley echoed. “Angel, she’s been around since at least the ark business.”
“You’ve had a cat for five millennia and didn’t- you’ve- you-”
The Cat’s Mau by @kedreeva
173 notes - Posted January 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
"How many times did I tell you not to accept a drink offered by a stranger? It’s flirting!"
Aziraphale shook his head virtuously. "I remembered that. He did not offer me a drink, he had two because his date did not show up, the poor chap. He offered it to me so it did not go to waste."
Crowley gaped. Spluttered. "Th--nndkl--that’s like the most basic move in the book!"
"There is a book?" asked a suddenly enthusiastic Aziraphale.
Saturday Night in Soho by @zeckarin-blaise
257 notes - Posted January 26, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#yeah sure why not#chuffed my most popular posts are all quote recs
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Opening Lines Meme
Tagged by @livingmeatloaf (lmao i just changed it)
Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!
They do this sometimes, just sit and watch Morgan work. (CE Code Section 10: Grounding and Bonding - S&D Tier, safety lecture disguised as fic, Alex S Tier/Morgan D Tier
The video rolls and Bruce feels all of his years, every sleepless night, every stitch, staple, and pin. (chapter 4 of so i can find someone to rely on (and run to them) - Batman, ghost king jason todd, gen)
Duke Thomas is having the weirdest day ever. (a great, dark, soft thing - Batman, duke has his powers woken by events in prev fic has a migraine about it, gen
Tim, it seems, has never once in his life waited. (chapter 3 of no. 2)
There is a package on his doorstep. (chap 2)
The door, locked in front of him, his “mother” beside him, the damning beep of the countdown timer, the pulsing agony that followed every beat of his heart. (chap 1)
“Luo Binghe’s transfer has not gone through,” Shen Qingqiu says as he comes in, calm and collected. (the window to the soul (and other such fallacies) - SVSSS, how to fix the world one tea not-date at a time, Shang Qinghua/Shen Jiu)
Deathclaw is a being of utmost dread, is what X6 decides as he is woken up by his oxygen supply being cut off by fur. (chap 2 of the differences we sometimes fear to show - Fallout 4, deathclaw is a cat, Deacon/X6-88)
The night was becoming X6-88's favorite time of day. (chap 1 of above)
You ever have something so batsh— uh crap insane happen to you that the whole event simply takes up permanent residence in your head? (one of the afternoons ever - Fallout 4, part one of railroad au X6, gen)
What have we learned?
the romance between me and in media res
I'm a big fan of statement openers, just a general observation about the situation about to play out. These are either backed up later in the story or theyre immediately disproven
Either a v short sentence or a long abuse of the comma, no in between.
Limited third person pov my beloved, shout out to the single 2nd?? person pov happening at no 10
Present tense: 6; Past: 2; Future: 1; Mixed or unknown (i hated english class if you ask me what a particle or whatever its called i will scream): 1
additional just cause i noticed it, im about 50/50 about establishing who the story is about in the first sentence, usually i can go a whole paragraph before telling the reader who im talking about
That was neat! i would apologize for posting several of the same fic if i was sorry XD
I'll tag @enbycupcake and @owldork1998 and anyone else who wants in! thank u loaffff
#tag games#i got a bunch of new mutuals recently but idk if we are at tag game level of mutuals yet so just idk jump in
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Once I’m gone
Rating: M(ature)
Warnings: major character death
Category: F/M (main couple), Multi (side characters)
Fandom: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin
Relationship: Mikasa Ackermann / Eren Jaeger | various side couples
Characters: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackermann, Armin Arlelt, Zeke Jaeger, Hange Zoe, Floch Forster, Ymir, Reiner Braun, Pieck Finger, Historia Reiss, several others will make a cameo
Additional Tags: Modern AU | established relationship | toxic behaviour | Eren suffers from Huntington’s disease and tries to settle his matters before he dies | suicial blockhead Eren | aged up characters (by ten years) | suicide tw | depression tw | mental diseases tw | deathly diseases tw | this is clearly not write what you know, but I’m giving my very best to representate the topics as good as I can | this all basically came to me as a fever dream | you remember Thirteen from House, M.D.? I still have a huge crush on her so this version of Eren is greatly inspired by her <3
Language: English (not native, I’m trying my best you guys)
Stats: ongoing - Chapter 1/15 - Part 2/4 - 1507 of 3652 words
Summary: Eren Jaeger knew for years that he inherited Huntington’s disease from his late mother. When he first notices symptoms on him, his long protected plan, to end his life before reaching the critical state of his illness, awakes. But there is still Mikasa, his girlfriend and the only person in the world he cares about more than about himself, and he can’t leave her alone and grieving. It’s time to find a substitute for when Eren is gone. With the help of a new friend Eren tries to scare away Mikasa while driving her into the arms of someone new.
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Charlatans and Pills - Part 2/4
<<previous
“Hey Mama”, the small, dark haired boy said and pulled his hand towards the woman that sat sunk down on an uncomfortable looking chair.
She didn’t directly look at him, only giving his pulled out hand a small, arbitrary glance and looked up towards the man, standing behind Eren.
“But Carla, Dear”, Eren's father said with a cheerful tone. “Shake at least our Eren’s hand. Aren’t you happy that we are visiting you?”
A thin lipped smile crawled over Carla’s face and her light brown eyes finally found Eren’s glance. “Eren”, she sighed recognizing and rather than just taking his hand, she slipped down her chair and tightly hugged him.
Tighter than Eren would have liked it. He looked up to his father, seeking help, insecure how to behave. She still was his mother, the one that always loved him and guessed every wish from his eyes.
Eren had found out that she was sick, three years ago. Back then they also told him, he eventually would get the same sickness. She often dropped things and so she did on his eleventh birthday with a knife to cut his cake. It fell right on her foot and she had to go to the hospital. After this incident, she never returned to her old self. She behaved strangely ever so often, screaming at his dad for obviously no reason.
But the strangest was when Eren came home from school one day. His father was still at work, he had a small practice in the middle of town, and usually a delicious lunch was waiting for him when he returned home from school. But on this day nothing smelled nice through the house, on the contrary it stank horribly of burned food and everything was full with smoke. Eren found his mother in the upstairs bathroom, her hands were dripping with blood, he had found shards in the kitchen.
“What do you want?”, his mother screamed and held her blood stained hands in front of her face. “Get out! I have to hide from the smoke!”
Puzzled Eren neared his mother. “But Mama, you have to turn off the oven or else whatever's on there will burn even more. Did you cut yourself? Do you need a bandaid?”
“Get our!”, Carla yelled again. “Who the hell are you, how did you get into my house?”
Helpless tears wobbled out of big, green child’s eyes. “Mama”, he whined and ducked away under a roll of toilet paper his mother threw at him. Desperately the boy backed out of the bathroom and ran back to the kitchen where he pulled all knobs of the oven until the red control light went off, then he remembered what his father always had hammered inside his little head: to call him at work, when something was wrong with Mum.
“The number is pinned on the fridge”, he had told him again and again. “I’ll be with you within 15 minutes.” If not at this moment, when should he bother his father at work? Quickly the boy looked for the phone around the smoke filled house, luckily he found it in the living room and not like so often in his parents bedroom. He wouldn’t have dared to walk past the upper bathroom in which he still suspected his mother.
His father indeed arrived within minutes. He found Carla beneath the toilet, sunk down and asleep and immediately called an ambulance. “I’m so sorry”, he murmured again and again while pressing the sobbing and crying Eren against him. “You’ll never have to be alone with her again. Everything will be alright.”
His mother didn’t return home after this incident. His father explained to him that she would now live somewhere, where people could look after her more appropriately. There no knife would fall on her food ever again and she wouldn’t burn any more pans.
But Eren found the place where they brought her simply terrifying. There were only old people. Not old people like his father but really old, probably older than his grandparents. It always smelled strangely and scary sounds came from some chambers.
Eren curled out of his mother’s embrace and his father came to help him.
“There, there Carla, not so fiercely”, he laughed and directed her gently back towards her chair. Then he took place across from her and placed a hand on her knee. “Well my Dear, how are you feeling today?”
Carla looked at him for a long time with a stoic face. At that her left arm twitched permanently. It hit against her thigh and the seating of the chair.
Eren watched the movement hypnotized and flinched when his mother took a deep, loud breath.
“Grisha”, she said with unmistakable joy in her voice. her twitching arm raised and her hand landed accurately on her husband’s. A smile crept towards her lips. “My Dear…” Suddenly she was once again his mother, the pretty woman with light brown eyes and dark hair, sun kissed skin and the most beautiful smile in the world.
Eren felt lighter than before and placed his small child’s hand above his mother’s. She only looked at him briefly, out of the corner of her eyes, before taxing Grisha again. The three of them stayed like this for a while in total silence. Only a far away, old and male voice asked when it was finally time for dinner.
The clearing of a throat crushed the family idly and Eren and his mother heavily flinched.
Carla’s head shot high to look at the creator of the noice’s face. Her own one suddenly started to twitch wildly.
“Mr. Jäger, can I please talk to you for a moment?”, a man in a white coat said. From his father Eren knew that doctors dressed like that.
Grisha got up and agreed with a dark look on his face. “Eren, sit down for so long. I’ll be right back.”
“You are a doctor?”, Eren heard the other man ask when he walked away with his father. The latter didn’t answer, maybe he had only nodded. “Then you must know about the condition your wife is in.”
Eren couldn’t hear more from the conversation. But from the look on his mother’s face, he could tell that her glance followed them.
He didn’t want to turn out like her. What was that for a life? Eren still couldn’t quite understand what was wrong with his mother, but he knew she always forgot things, sometimes even him or his father and that she always flapped around her arms. He didn’t want that, especially not the thing with forgetting. Carefully he took her hand between both of his. “I’m not gonna forget you, Mama”, he said tenderly and patted her hand that was gaunt and wiry. “I promise.”
Carla looked at her boy dumbfounded before pulling her eyebrows into a painful grimace. “Oh Eren, my little baby,” she cried and thick tears wobbled out of her eyes. Fragile and smaller as he remembered her she sat on that horribly uncomfortable chair, her hand between the small palms of her son.
Scared by her sudden burst of emotion Eren pulled his hands away. Two faces, so similar to each other that everyone would see their connection, looked at each other with a mixture of horror and hurt.
When his father returned, Eren asked him to leave.
“Come back soon!”, he heard his mother say softly when Grisha leaned down to her and kissed her.
He promised they would, of course he did. And of course they kept their promise. Eren couldn’t say how many hours of his youth he had spent in that foster home that cared for his mother. The doctors and nurses there did a wonderful job, they deeply cared for his mother, who visibly crumpled infront of her small family’s eyes. She got thinner and thinner and ever more erratic. Until she neither recognized Grisha nor Eren. Sometimes she remembered to have a son called Eren but in her memory he was still a ten-years-old that had broken his arm while wrestling with his friends. That the handsome young man infront of her was her small Eren, she wouldn’t get the idea despite their striking resemblance.
Finally her spasticies became so bad that it became too dangerous to let her eat solid food and she got a feeding tube. From this moment on, things went continuously down hill for Carla Jäger, whose husband was a doctor himself who slowly broke down by looking at her.
Almost exactly ten years after moving to the foster home and a little over 13 years after her diagnosis Carla died on a stormy fall evening. She hadn’t seen her son in four month, he just couldn’t take it anymore.
But losing his mother had broken something deep inside of Eren. Now a full grown man, he knew which fate his mother had handed down to him. But he also knew back than, how he would be reacting towards it, when his time came.
>>next
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Author’s Note: Hey, thank you for coming back to me! I hope you don’t mind when long flashbacks like this are all in Italics, I know they can be hard to read. Just for Context: Carla was 30 when she had Eren in this story and she dies at 51. Can’t have a main character without a tragic family backstory, can we? See you for the next part!
#attack on titan fanfiction#aot ff#eremika#eren jaeger#carla jaeger#grisha jaeger#once i'm gone#once i'm gone chap 1#once i'm gone chap 1 part 2#eren jaeger x mikasa ackerman#grisha jaeger x carla jaeger#writers on tumblr#fanfiction on tumblr#fanfiction#fanfic#writing
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Welcome!
Hi! Welcome to my tumblr! My inbox is always open :)
Ao3 link
Up to Date!
current project(s):
-witnessing family (multichap atla fic, 1st chapter out, second tbd)
-untitled (multichap tarlos fic, publish date tbd)
Masterlist of fics:
Sanders Sides:
Everyone but Him | 604 | oneshot
Roman loses his love, and realizes he was the last to know about it.
Part 1 of Roman's Love Life
Flare Ups | 995 | oneshot
Janus' eczema flares up. Remus attempts to help.
A Night to Remember | 3875 | oneshot
Logan and his class are taken to a haunted house, where things aren't as they seem, and none escape.
Song Bird (we'll carry on) | 996 | oneshot
Virgil really hated his soulmate sometimes.
Part 7 of Soulmate Alphabet
Fall for You | 1783 | oneshot
After Virgil, Roman thought life was over. Then he met Janus Newman.
Part 2 of Roman's Love Life
Zzz (wake me up) | 630 | oneshot
Remy loved his soulmate, Emile. But...why was Emile always there, sleeping?
Part 9 of Soulmate Alphabet
Key and Lock (open up my heart) | 1327 | oneshot
Virgil has never gone to a key and lock party before. Luckily he met someone who has.
Part 4 of Soulmate Alphabet
It seemed the better way | 605 | oneshot
Something is wrong with Remus. Logan helps.
Part 1 of Intrulogical Week
Art of the Heart | 1276 | oneshot
Remus loved to create. Logan did not. Remus shows Logan how much he loves his creativity.
Part 2 of Intrulogical Week
Timers (countdown to love) | 788 | oneshot
During a Forensics convention, Remus' timer runs out.
Part 3 of Intrulogical Week
Part 8 of Soulmate Alphabet
Honey, I'm Home! | 824 | oneshot
Roman has an idea. Remus agrees, but Logan isn't amused.
Part 4 of Intrulogical Week
Not Alone (cause you're here with me) | 6926 | multi chap (completed)
Logan and Patton were best friends. Until they weren't. Now they've reconnected, but someone is determined to get in the way.
The Creative and the Deceitful | 1601 | oneshot
Janus knew a lot about the others, not that they knew much about him in return.
That is, until Roman discovers his guilty pleasure
Surface Changes | 15050 | multi chap (completed)
Roman, Logan, and Patton all work for an agency specializing in the strange and supernatural. A new mission comes along that threatens to tear them apart…forever.
Avatar: The Last Airbender:
Body Art (the scars that haunt us) | 1429 | oneshot
Sokka has been writing to his soulmate his whole life. Why has his soulmate never responded?
Part 2 of Soulmate Alphabet
4 times Sokka helped Zuko and one time he returned the favour | 4930 | multi chap (completed)
Ember Talks | 3235 | oneshot
After the disastrous Ember Island Players, the Gaang needs to have some talks.
Witnessing Family | 1238 | multi chap (incomplete)
After confronting his father and getting injured, Zuko is placed in witness protection.
911: Lone Star:
all will be well if you stay | 1102 | oneshot
After TK wakes up from his coma, Carlos and Andrea talk once again.
The Umbrella Academy:
Different Sort of Way | 369 | oneshot
Klaus never cared for anyone but himself. Until he met Dave.
Last Words (i love you forevermore) | 604 | oneshot
The battlefield is loud.
Part 5 of Soulmate Alphabet
Colours (light up my world) | 667 | oneshot
Sissy was having a day.
Part 3 of Soulmate Alphabet
Marks (lock up my heart) | 790 | oneshot
Diego was running from the police when he's caught by a very attractive detective.
Part 6 of Soulmate Alphabet
The Folk of the Air:
Betrothed | 1665 | multi chap (incomplete)
Jude's grandparents are rich, so she gets betrothed at a young age to one of their business associates. Cardan isn't happy when he finds out.
The Selection:
Aging (not for me) | 828 | oneshot
The crown prince, Maxon Schreave, has started to age, but the selection has just begun. Which of the girls is his soulmate?
Part 1 of Soulmate Alphabet
#fanfic#ao3#writing#fanfiction#archive of our own#sanders sides#my fics#911 lone star#the folk of the air#the umbrella academy#the selection#avatar the last airbender#masterlist
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Listeeeen I'm here for Din Djarin and his little green son, Grogu so I loved the Book of Boba Fett finale. I thought it was great, it was exciting, it made me laugh, it made me scream. I unapologetically loved every bit of Din and Grogu content we got. That being said, poor Boba Fett not even in the finale of his own show does he get to shine. The spotlight once again stolen from him by Din "main character energy" Djarin and Grogu.
That's not to say Boba Fett didn't have great scenes, I personally loved seeing him kill Cad Bane with the Gaffi Stick. I wish the fight between them had been longer, and I was surprised they killed him off so quickly, and I also wish the show had gone more into the history between these two cause that would have been interesting and added more weight to the final showdown between them but I still enjoyed it and cheered when it happened.
But let's not lie to each other, or ourselves The Book of Boba Fett had four episodes. Because chaps 5 and 6 were The Mandalorian, and even in the finale which wraps up the storyline presented in TBOBF the man was a guest in his own home. So, 4 1/2 episodes if one wants to be nice.
It's a shame because the show had potential, sadly it seems the people in charge of it didn't have any faith in it; and weren't truly willing to put in the effort and money to give it a chance. Don't get me wrong it's not a bad show, for me as a whole it was okay and it certainly had moments and episodes I loved plus it gave me my Mandalorian fix but it could have been better across the board. Like, as much as I love Din and enjoyed every second he was on my screen I would have been a-okay with Disney giving The Mandalorian an extended season to still get the content we got, and have TBOBF focus on Boba Fett and develop his story.
I'm gonna side track for a second before I forget because there's an after credit scene in the finale that shows Cobb Vanth in the bacta tank. I guess this was supposed to be a big *gasp* moment but it's hard to tell at first glance who's in the tank, and considering the number of fans I have seen upset over this characters death I don't think a lot of people saw it. I myself didn't know it was there until I saw an article mention it. Yeah.
Like I said I personally loved the finale, thought the show as a whole was okay- I have so many questions about The Mandalorian s3 now starting with are we gonna see Luke again? I need s3 to have a scene between R2-D2 and Luke where Luke goes "you did what????!!!!" because I need an explanation as to why he was not there to deliver the baby to Din.
Is Din goin to train to use the Darksaber? Is the person training him gonna be Luke?
YOU CAN'T SHOW ME THE X-WING AND EXPECT ME TO NOT WANT TO SEE LUKE SKYWALKER THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!
It's okay, I'm good, I'm calm.....no I'm not, I wanna see Luke again. We didn't even get to say goodbye to him. At the very least s3 give me a scene where Din contacts Luke and is like "did my kid get kicked out of school? or are holiday breaks part of your curriculum?".
Anyway, I can't wait to see the official season 3 of The Mandalorian, the sneak preview has been great.
Book of Boba Fett I'm glad I saw you. I'm not glad for the right reasons but I'm glad nonetheless. It was an entertaining addition to my Wednesdays.
#that became an exciting addition once din appeared#i have my favs and biases i'm not gonna try to act like i don't#tbobf spoilers#the book of boba fett spoilers#the book of boba fett#the mandalorian#the mandalorion spoilers#in a way#i am going to do a binge re-watch of this show so maybe once i do my opinion will change#but i doubt it i'm pretty sure it's just gonna keep feeling like i swtched shows half way through my watch#non spn#mine
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You were all I wanted Part 4
Pairing: mob!Peter Parker x plus-sized!Reader
Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, human trafficking, allusion to dubcon, minor character’s death.
Words: 3309.
Summary: You are bought by the head of Stark crime family for a kid he cares about.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
P.S. Peter is an adult!
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That night he was restless.
It had already been a month since you left the auction in Peter's car and started living in Stark's Tower. The evening when the boy shot a drug addict on the street was forever imprinted on your memory.
Apart from that, things were quite simple. Each morning you were waking up in the same bed as him, having breakfast together, and then staying alone in the room while Peter was gone to do whatever Mr. Stark wanted him to. Sometimes the kid wouldn't leave at all, sometimes he'd come late and drenched in someone else's blood. You helped him shower and clean his wounds if he had any. Well, miraculously, for the past month Peter didn't need stitches or anything of that kind. But you knew he wasn't always that lucky - his back and chest were covered in ugly scars, his wrists bore strange circular shape marks. The only reason you hadn't seen them the first night was because you were so terribly drunk.
The boy whined softly in his sleep, and you tried to shush him. Today he returned beaten up, anxious, and exhausted. He and Rhodes were hunting down someone from the gang who had gone completely mad, but Peter refused giving you any details. You suspected something really terrible had happened since the boy was hard to frighten.
And now he was crying, tossing and turning in bed. It was the first time you saw him like that.
"Peter, Peter wake up." You whispered, gently touching his shoulders. "Please."
It took you a few long moments before he had finally opened his eyes and stared at you, his breathing ragged, erratic.
"It's you. It's you." He mumbled, and you saw tears streaming down his face to the pillow beneath his head.
"Yes, it's me." You cooed at him and wiped the wet tracks with your hand, leaning down to kiss him in the forehead. "You're safe."
"Please, please don't go." The fear in his eyes made you stop as Peter gripped your hand in trembling his. "I'm not safe. I'm never safe."
What kind of nightmare was haunting him, making him shake so badly? He looked so scared, so vulnerable and defenseless, tearing up like a little kid. You had never thought you could pity a mobster, but you were wrong - you felt sorry for him.
Shifting on the bed that way that Peter's head came to rest against your chest, you buried your fingers in his disheveled hair and started caressing his head.
"You're safe with me, Peter." You whispered reassuringly, and he snuggled closer to you, throwing his hands against your body. "I'm staying with you. Come here, sweetheart."
He tried to nuzzle against your soft body so close as if he wanted to become a part of you quite literally. Peter let out a heavy sigh, and you felt the skin on your chest burning.
You spent a few more minutes in complete silence of the room, listening to each other's soft breathing. Although you had no intention of moving away from him, Peter clung to you as if his life depended on it. You were curious what he had seen in that nightmare of his, but you didn't say a word, knowing he needed time.
"It's so scary to be alone in the dark." Peter suddenly said, his grip in you getting a little tigther. "I need you to walk with me."
You blinked, unsure of what to say. Didn't he choose the darkness himself? Didn't he get accustomed to all the things he was doing? You remembered him killing that guy on the street without any regret. You were pretty sure Peter didn't feel anything. Were you wrong?
"If I came with you... Would you leave me there by myself after that? I'm scared of the dark, too."
He had finally let go of you upon hearing your words and gave you a bit of space, looking at your face intently.
"No, I wouldn't. I'm not Mr. Stark."
At first, you thought he was talking about Tony and his relationships with women, but then the realization hit you: Peter was referring to himself. It was him who was left alone. Despite you thinking he was very close to his patron - for God's sake, the man bought you as a present for the kid - things were rather different in reality. Maybe Mr. Stark treated Peter like a toy, too. Yes, the boy, surprisingly, had some authority in the gang as he was considered Rhodes equal, but maybe Peter didn't want that, or not only that. Maybe he wanted to be taken care of, to be shown some kindness for the things he was doing for his boss. It felt ridiculous suggesting that, but Peter's still wet face made you think that it could really be true.
"Do you know what are these?" Suddenly, the boy lifted his hand and showed you the marks on his wrist. When you squinted and shook your head, he smiled. "These are cigarette burns. I got them the first week Mr. Stark sent me to school here. I was twelve."
"Did he burn you?" Your gawked at his skin, shivers running down your spine.
"No, he didn't. The guys at school did. I hid it from Mr. Stark, but soon they crushed my head against the sink and I ran away bleeding." He chuckled at your horrified expression. "I thought Mr. Stark would come talk to the teachers or sent his guys, but instead he gave me a gun and said I had to earn my place in the gang. So I went to school with a gun in my backpack and shot one of the guys who bullied me."
You stared at him, hoping it was all about his very dark sense of humor - he had to be joking. Even though you knew what man Tony Stark was, how savage did he had to be to give a firearm to the twelve-year-old child who was bullied?
"Of course, Mr. Stark made it so the other kid was charged with the murder while I just walked away. After one month, I felt so guilty for what I've done that I attempted to end my own life by taking a whole a pack of sedatives."
When he brushed his hand against your cheek you realized you were crying at his words.
Sniffing, you brought his hand closer to you and lowered your lips to his wrist, kissing the marks on his skin. Peter's eyes went wide, but he didn't say a word at your gesture, and you touched each and every burn with your chapped lips while he watched you. Did it bring him any comfort? You hoped it did, because no words could describe how you felt once he finished talking.
No wonder you were the closest to a friend he had ever had. He wanted to have someone by his side so desperately.
"I will never do something like that to you." He whispered ever so gently, not smiling anymore. "Even if you're going to hate me or run from me... But please, please don't run. I need you. You don't understand, but I need you so much."
Slowly, you started kissing his fingers one by one, watching his eyelashes tremble. For some reason, you felt grateful for his sincerity as if it changed something. He was the only man to ever need you - and need you so desperately he was literally begging you to stay with him. It was stupid believing the one who held you captive here, but you still did.
You wanted him to need you more.
"I want to make love to you." He murmured, and one of his fingers touched your lower lip. "Can I? Please, Baby."
"What, now?" To say you were surprised would be an understatement. "But y-"
"Please." He breathed, and his finger slipped past your soft lips, forcing you to lick it, swirling it around your wet little tongue. "I wanna fuck your ass. You don't mind, do you? You took the toys so good yesterday."
You rolled you eyes at him, but obeyed, nonetheless, sucking his finger deeper into your mouth as if it were his cock. Well, you did like it when he kept playing with your ass the whole week.
"You're so good to me." His other arm was already lowering your pyjamas pants as Peter squeezed one of your buttocks, and then his fingers found your little tight hole. "I love you so much."
You grunted in response, feeling how he massaged the entrance with his fingertips, equally aroused and scared at his excitement.
_______________
One more month had passed. You were finally allowed to go out of your room all by yourself as members of the gang were assured you were completely harmless. The thought of coming back to your family had always lingered at the back of your mind, but you always pushed it away, knowing you might as well just go and shoot people you loved by yourself. Now you had seen what Mr. Stark was doing with traitors with your own eyes and you would never want to risk being in the same position.
Peter still treasured you. He had become way more creative in bed comparing with your first handful of weeks, but not that you could complain since giving you pleasure was among things he cared about the most. Besides, your relationship got even better as now he was slowly opening up to you about both his past and present. You no longer dreaded coming with him somewhere. The only thing that bothered you was a feeling that, somehow, Peter got even clingier, but you brushed it off. There could be nothing bad in his growing affection to you.
That day you were coming back from the communal kitchen - thankfully, most of the gang members didn't use it much as it was reserved for their women. The ones who came to cook there were more or less decent, so you weren't worried being close to them. Besides, the boy also gave you one of his guns. Just in case, he said.
Carefully opening the door to your room, you balanced with a heavy plate of chocolate chip cookies in the other hand and stepped inside. Instead of Peter you found Tony Stark sitting on the chair in his breathtakingly beautiful white suit. You held your breath and stilled, unsure of what to do. You had never faced Mr. Stark all by yourself. Were you even allowed to be here now? He clearly needed Peter, not you.
"I-I'm so sorry, sir, I'll return la-"
"It's quite alright, Y/N, come."
He remembered your name, really? It got you alerted.
You hesitantly closed the door, but didn't turn the key, leaving the plate on the top of the microwave standing on the side table. Did you have to offer the man your cookies? Would he be offended by that?
"I apologize, I didn't know you were coming, sir." You said softly, clenching the fabric of your simple cream-colored dress. "I'm sure Peter is going to return shortly... Um, w-would you like to have some cookies, sir?"
"Yes, please." He answered simply, and you brought him the plate immediately, feeling being something between a hostage and a servant to the crime boss. "Mm, not bad. My mother used to bake them, too."
"I'm glad you like it, sir."
You didn't know where to put yourself, knowing he watches you. Except for a chair near Peter's table and his bed there was nowhere to sit, but placing yourself on the top of the bed while there was a man in your room seemed to you absolutely indecent, so you awkwardly leaned on the wall. You prayed for Peter to come back soon, unsure of how you should behave with the most dangerous man you had ever known in the room.
He smirked at you, finally lifting his fancy sunglasses and hiding them in the pocket of his suit.
"I see you settled in nicely here. Do you enjoy living with the kid?"
You shivered, looking at his handsome face and nodding to him.
"Yes, sir, I do."
"Huh, is it Peter's gun you have there? Did he give it to you?" Tony pointed at the holster strapped to your belt - you knew it looked ridiculous, yet it was better to look ridiculous but have something to protect yourself, giving that you were living inside Stark's Tower. "Let me have a look."
"Of course, sir."
You didn't like taking the gun and giving it to the man, knowing perfectly he could shoot you right here and right now. You still remembered that perfectly innocent woman he murdered because she wanted to flee as well as all those ones he got rid of before her.
You did your best to look humble. In the end, you belonged to Peter, didn't you? He said many times that Mr. Stark wasn't taking back the gifts he'd made. If Peter was alright with you living here...
"I see he takes good care of you, dear. You look positively glowing." Tony had that odd smile on his face while looking at you.
"Yes, sir, he does. He's a very good man." You lowered your gaze to your shoes as blush spreaded across your cheeks. Although all this was definitely wrong, you still have very warm feelings towards Peter. Living with vultures for so many years, he was still able to treat someone with kindness.
You didn't see a subtle flash of anger on Tony's face, but he gathered himself rather quickly. Actually, he didn't come here for Peter. He sent him away to have a few moments with you instead.
It was true you were radiant when he was watching you from a far. What was the kid doing to keep you so happy? Did he give you pretty dresses? Jewelry? A car? Anything else? Tony made way more expensive gifts to his girls, but they were never satisfied, nonetheless. It seemed he was choosing some rotten whores over decent women over and over again despite all his efforts, but Peter got lucky with his first girl. Tony was almost ready to admit he was jealous.
So why were you special? He couldn't explain it with words, yet looking at your warm smile every time you saw Peter the man knew why his kid was so eager to return home every evening. Tony wanted to have this feeling, too.
"I could give you more than he does." The man said, and you choked on air, staring at him like a rabbit in front of a snake. "Peter's a sweet kid, but he's so inexperienced, you know. He has no clue what to do with a woman. I bet he doesn't even bring you to nice places or make you gifts, does he?"
Your heart was beating so fast you felt like it could stop any second. It wasn't good, oh shit it wasn't good for you. You had no idea how a man who was able to force the most beautiful women of the planet to attend to him could ever look at you, someone who wasn't even considered pretty by most people. Was it just because he wanted to see you suffer? Because he couldn't handle looking at a woman who was happy?
"But I already belong to Peter, sir. I am your gift to him." You smiled nervously, trying to be polite. "How do I dare to change my master?"
"Nah, the kid won't mind. I'll give him another girl, I promise." The man winked at you, and you realized he wasn't letting you go regardless of what you'd tell him.
You needed to run.
Before you reached the door he was on your back, grasping your hands in his and chuckling smugly. His other palm was already lifting the hem of your dress.
"Huh, you're not so submissive as you look. I like that." He whispered above your ear, grinding his hips against your ass.
"No, please, sir! I'm not good! I'm not good for you!"
He threw you on the bed you shared with Peter and took of his white suit jacket, watching you crawl away and smiling at your pathetic attempt to run from him. What a sweet little girl you were, he thought. You wanted to be loyal to someone like Peter when you had him offering you to take the place of his woman.
Before coming closer to bed he was taking off his pants, and you readied yourself to scream as loud as you could. Maybe Tony had your gun, but you had to do something. Maybe someone would come before the damage was done.
Who were you kidding? No one would come to protect you against the head of a crime family.
"Now be a good g-"
Before Tony finished the sentence you heard the lound crack of the door opening and then the sound of a gun. Although you intended to scream just a second ago, now you were silent, staring at the quickly growing bloodstain on his expensive white shirt. You suddenly remembered the drug dealer who died exactly like that.
Peter was standing in the doorway with his gun pointed at his own patron, and then he fired one more time. And one more. He seemed to calm down only when Tony fell on the bed, staining it's cover with his crimson blood. Once the boy looked up, you saw his hollow eyes as if he weren't even conscious.
"Peter." You muttered, your eyes full of tears. "He... Oh God."
He saved you. The boy shot that sick bastard before he could lay his dirty hands on you, but you weren't relieved. He killed Mr. Stark, the one who took him into the family and gave him roof above his head. Tony's people would tear Peter apart for his silly attempt to save you.
When he lowered his gun, you left the bed and came closer to him on shaky legs, swallowing your salty tears.
"Peter, you need to run. They'll kill you."
He reached out to your face and stroked your lower lip in awe. Apparently, he was as shocked with his own actions as you were, you thought, your eyes bleary with all those tears.
"Peter, please, you need to run. Leave me here, I'll be... a deadweight."
Before you could finish he had ushered you to come closer, pressing you against him and putting a hand on the top of your head like a parent to a crying child. His eyes were still hollow.
"Mr. Stark thought he could take whatever he wanted, but he was wrong." The boy whispered, and you cried out quietly at his words. "He thought you'd say yes, and I won't object, hahah."
"Peter, p-please. If you won't go..."
"Why should I go, Baby?" He left a tender kiss on your forehead, his tone of voice strangely calm, but frightening. "We can run Stark's family without a Stark in it, can't we, Rhodey?"
Amazed, you glanced straight ahead of you and saw heavy armed people waiting behind Peter's skinny figure. You recognized many of them as part of Peter's and Rhodes' team, but there were Tony's bodyguards and some other men you had never seen before. They stayed still, their eyes on the two of you and Stark's dead body laying on your bed. For some reason, no one aimed their guns at you. They just stood their and did nothing at all.
"No one's taking you away." Peter's voice turned sweet as he dropped his gun to the floor and his other hand rested on your back. "And I'm not going anywhere. You're my girl, Baby, and you gotta stay whatever happens."
THE END
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Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @msruchita @opheliadawnwalker3 @ifntelyinspirit
#peter parker x reader#dark peter parker x reader#dark peter parker#peter parker#spider man#spiderman#yandere
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Jesse McCree x Male!Reader - Confess it, else I'll take it to my grave
A/N: it's here. Part 2 to a oneshot written quite some time ago, requested by @madeofunicorns111813 - sorry it took so long - I also took some liberties with the request, hope it's not too bad either way!
Part 1:
Part 2:
As you slowly open your eyes again, waking from your nap, it's pitch black outside - only a small lantern on the porch spending some light, that illuminates a few more bottles of whiskey and cans of beer standing around the porch swing, mainly where Jesse had sat earlier.
The amount of them made you shake your head in amusement - he must be drunk as balls by now, if he hasn't passed out somewhere else yet.
Now there was no sign of him, not the gentle feeling of his arms around you, no indication where he might be gone - only his scent faintly lingering in the air.
You stretch and sit up straight, taking a deep, content breath.
You check your wristwatch and let out an impressed whistle - you'd slept on that old, only mildly comfortable porch swing from what must've been 10 p.m. to somewhere around two in the morning.
You hear the front door open, Jesse's heavy steps a little uneven as he saunter back over to the porch swing, barely acknowledging you.
In his hand he has a glass of water, sighing deeply before downing it in one go. You fondly watch as he spills just a bit of water, that drips down his beard and stains his shirt.
He sets down the glass and sighs once more, staring of into the vast emptiness of the seemingly never ending fields.
"I reckon, and please take my word on this one - it might just be bedtime for the two of us.", you chuckle as you watch him clumsily trying to get up, setting you swinging ever so slightly.
"You ain't the boss o' me-", he says, a few hiccups interrupting him as he stumbles his way forward.
You roll your eyes and get up as well, offering to be his arm rest and crutch, but instead of throwing an arm over your shoulder he wraps you up in a big hug.
"I'm really glad to be back here-", he slurs, headbutting into your neck with a little more force than he meant to.
You pat his back, letting out another chuckle.
"I know man, I know. You've mentioned it a couple of times.", you calmly state, not too surprised by his emotional outburst - even way back when you were younger he had the habit of getting sappy when he let his guard down - either with the help of alcohol or not.
"Nah, you ain't hearing me Darlin'...", He mumbles against your neck, his beard tickling you, before lazily lifting his head to look into your face.
His right hand finds its way to gently cup your cheek and you feel your face grow a little warmer, as you realize how close he is to you. Granted, you were a little surprised and conflicted about whether it's just the alcohol getting the best of both of you.
But god damn it, if his face didn't look stupidly handsome in the low light of the lantern, making his eyes sparkle as he looks at you with such fondness.
"God, I love you so much…", He says, his voice low as his thumb strokes your cheek.
You swallow harshly, trying to avert your eyes away from him - though you had not completely slept the whiskey from your mind yet, you didn't want to get caught up in something that Jesse might not even mean.
But there was just something so captivating about the way he was looking at you - something you had longed for for almost three decades.
"Y'know, back when we were kids my Ma would tease me 'bout how much I talked about you…", he chuckles as he slurs on "And I'd always tell 'er that she got it all wrong. (Y/N) ain't nothing but a friend, he's just real cool, just my ride or die guy for when times get tough."
A corner of your mouth twitches up into a slight smile at the mention of Jesse's Mother - she was a really sweet lady, always had apple pie ready when you and Jesse came back from a days adventure.
It wasn't until she remarried back when Jesse was 17 that all went downhill.
"But I think she knew I was lyin'. Could see it in her eyes. I bet right now she's looking down at me from the heavens thinking to herself 'told ya so, boy.'", Jesse sighs, pulling you a little closer.
"For the longest time I thought I'd marry you. At some point I would've asked you out, real sweet, had it all planned.", as he keeps talking, you swear his voice is getting weaker and his eyes are getting watery - though you wouldn't bet on it.
You gently stroke his back as he keeps talking.
"I wanted to- I wanted to take you out to sit on that ol' abandoned truck at the very back of my Ma's farm. We would've sat down on the back, under that really ugly lookin' cherry tree. There- there was a meteor shower that night.", His eyes slowly drift away from you as he keeps talking, his hand finding its way down your arm, hesitantly lingering at your fingers.
"I had my whole life figured out - I'd tell you, and you'd tell me that you'd always liked me too, and we'd've kissed under the moonlight and all that. We'd've-", he chuckles slightly "We would've finished school, and gone to prom, and then we'd have gotten jobs and get married…"
He lets out a shaky breath.
"I wanted to- I wanted to have a big, sweet wedding on your Mommas' farm, and then we'd've settled down a little further out - but not too far away from our families. So that when we would have had children they could always celebrate their birthdays with their grandparents an' aunts an' uncles an' cousins."
You sigh and intertwine your fingers with his, bringing the hand that had previously stroked his back to his cheek.
You tenderly wipe a tear away with your thumb, guiding his head back to look at you again.
"I'm- I couldn't. I couldn't tell you. Thought you'd say no... I was too much of a coward. And then- the whole thing with my stepdad happened...Ma told me she was remarrying and I just- I just left- and left you, and her, and he got her and hurt her and I didn't even- I didn't even say goodbye to her I-", he chokes up, lowering his head, his eyes closed as he sobs just the slightest bit.
Unsure of what else to do, you squeeze his hand and wipe some stray hair from his face, encouraging him to look at you again.
He carefully opens his eyes, glancing into yours.
"And yesterday, when I came back you just...you welcomed me with open arms and just- you- I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of your hospitality and all that…I've- Darlin', I'm the absolute worst.", Tears keeps spilling from his eyes as he rambles on.
You let go of his hand just to wrap your arm around his waist and pull him closer.
"I'm gonna have to disagree with that statement, cowboy.", you smile slightly as his expression changed from sad to slightly confused as you glance at his lips for a short moment, before looking back into his eyes.
His gaze flickers from your own lips, to your eyes and then back to your lips.
And as you pull him closer and closer, until your lips meet for a gentle kiss it feels as though time has stopped in its tracks.
His are slightly chapped, taste like all kinds of alcohol and he still reeks of smoke, but right now you couldn't care less as you close your eyes and melt into the kiss.
You can feel Jesse's shoulders relax as his hands roam around your back and up and down your arms.
And when you part he looks just a little more baffled than before. Though there's also a love struck glaze over his eyes.
"Sweetheart, I- I don't think I understand.", He says, almost breathless, a big, dumb grin on his face.
"And I thought that would get my point across just fine.", you giggle, pressing another soft kiss to his cheek.
"After all this time, I don't think there's a single thing in this world that could make me not love you, Jesse.", you confess.
Jesse's eyes widen and he practically tackles you with another kiss. You don't care about the bottles and cans you knock over with your feet as he makes the two of you stumble back on the porch, back down on the swing.
And it doesn't even bother you when the lantern loses its light - if you were afraid of the dark before, right in this moment it simply didn't matter.
Jesse had you encased in his arms, and by what you could tell, you wouldn't ever have to worry about being alone again.
#jesse mccree#jesse mccree x male reader#jesse mccree x reader#jesse mccree imagine#mccree#mccree x male!reader#overwatch mccree#ow mccree#overwatch x male reader#overwatch x male!reader#overwatch x reader#overwatch imagine#mccree imagine
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Hey! I've become a huge fan of your fics on ao3. I wanted to know how do you push out so many beautiful chapters so quickly? What's your writing process like? I'm working on a big JB fic, which I'm trying to finish timely, but high quality. Always like to see how other writers do their thang! Thank you!
Hi! I remember your name!! <3 Thank YOU for the question and praise, that’s so sweet!!
I love seeing how other writers do their thang, too! And I’ve found it can be very, very different for each author.
TLDR I write a lot of my fic ahead of time. I outline the entire fic, chapter by chapter before I start writing. I use several tools to speed the process and/or to make it more artsy fartsy.
I’ve found that I’m a “plotter” and not a “pantser” (two main ways of writing, unless you hate being labeled lol.)
Plotter means that I prefer plotting out most of the story before I write the details. Here’s been my process for my multichapter fics:
1) I come up with an idea and let it brew! I think about key scenes or dialogue I love and I jot them down in my phone on Google notes. Write down your ideas, you’ll probably forget them.
2) During this brewing time, (for As Black As Thunder and my next fic) I take the time to read, read, read. I read works and jot more notes! I have an entire Google doc for Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier where I wrote down her tone usage, figurative language and summary of each chapter. I can’t tell you how much this has helped get me in the write TONE for the work. Tone is SO important. Readers reading a thriller will expect thriller beats! Deep Fried Drinks was a rom com, so the verbs, adjectives etc are very different from creepy Gothic. When I started As Black As Thunder (ABAT), wow, it was hard to nail the tone at first. But by the second half of the fic, I’m fully immersed in it and it’s much easier to create the tone naturally. Without using inspiration, I don’t think it would have turned out as well. For ABAT, I think I took two weeks of no writing, when I’m used to writing every day. It was hard not to write, but wow, was I ready when I started!
3) When I’m ready to outline, I do! I open a google doc for the fic and start throwing everything I can think of in there. My ABAT doc was only like three lines for 6 months... lol! I’ve only just started looking into story structure, so my older fics are all wonky. BUT for ABAT and Deep Fried Drinks, I tried to follow story structure for plots. First act, second act, third act, character arcs, etc. My longest fic, Time Stops, dropped a bunch of readers in the middle and I think it’s because my middle SAGGED majorly. I didn’t try to follow a structure, just sort of plotted it out how I wanted to, and it was probably very repetitive and boring. For ABAT, I plotted a mid point turn to spice things up, chose things to make the character more proactive, etc. I highly recommend Ellen Brock on Youtube for any plotting advice. She’s an editor, and I’ve learned so much!
4) Organize plot into chapters, write key notes for chapters and fill out background info. The first two are self explanatory, but the third is my favorite! One thing that speeds my writing (I have no idea if people do this or not) but I have lists. So many lists! For ABAT, I have lists of common outfits for characters (I usually hate writing about outfits but I’m glad I wrote more for this work). I also write the character arc for each main character. For ABAT, I have the following for Brienne:
Brienne
Symbols: white crocus flower (purity, youthfulness, sensitive to rain), White begonia, Small birch saplings struggling for light
Goal: serve public, be idealistic, honorable
Lie: (hidden for spoilers)
Truth: (hidden for spoilers)
Flaw: stubborn, idealistic, watched her father get fame and respect for his engineering, wants to do the same thing and do it perfectly, doesn’t understand systemic racism
Motivation: serve people, be accepted by the public, belonging, abandonment
Stakes: public rejection, Tarth name on the line, mockery, insanity, failure
So when I think about a curve ball for Brienne at any point of the story, this character section helps me stay true to character. I have a section for Brienne, Jaime, Cersei and Missandei. Cersei has a larger section because she’s a villain... ;)
In addition to this section, I also write down their personalities and strengths. You know, like if they went to an interview lol. For example, I have Missandei have the following strengths:
Missandei
Adaptability: able to adapt
Intellection: introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions
Consistency: all people should be treated the same
Futuristic: fascinated by future
Learner: loves to learn
I ALSO have an emotion worksheet and this is SO USEFUL. They say in writing: show that the character is angry, not tell the reader. WELL, IDK about you but I can’t keep track of all the little quirks characters do and yet, I want them to be consistent. If while writing a scene, I sometimes think, “Hmm what is Jaime doing if he’s in awe right now?” I search for “awe” at the top of my fic, and bam, I have options, more or less. For a lot of emotions, I brainstormed ideas based on character traits, arcs, Gothic tone etc. I fill all of this out before I write the first chapter.
Here’s an example of some emotions I have for ABAT:
Emotion List (remember to have introspection, unique perspective)
Awe:
B: wrinkle deepened between brows, parted lips, fixed gaze, stands still
J: arched brow, open mouth, stare, goes closer
C: lowering chin or raising chin, goes closer
M: adaptable, quick to react
Deceptive:
B: looking away, walking away
J: scratching ear
C: smiling, neatly placed hands
M: long blink
Thoughtfulness:
B: staring off, quiet, daydreaming
J: staring at object important to him, twisting pencil or object in his hand, squeezing his hand
C: squeezing hand, staring at object she wants to get rid of or improve
M: daydreaming, staring off at her own outfit—it’s foreign
5) Now the fun part: writing! I used to write with scene structure outline, but I think I’ve grown off the training wheels. But it really helped me in Deep Fried Drinks to plot out the chapter scenes ahead of time, and I used Ellen Brock’s proactive and reactive videos to help me out with that. I throw on some music to get me in the mood of the story and I write during my kid’s nap, about two hours every day. Sometimes I’ll write at night, but lately I’ve been too tired to do that. My tip for this part is to try and figure out what you want to improve. What are you good at, and what could you improve as a writer? My first fics had like zero figurative language. Awkward. This takes a level of awareness that’s hard to reach but watching or researching creative writing technique really helps me. For example, I used to NEED to write all five senses out for each chapter ahead of time. Now it comes naturally to me! I would say now my main issue is phrasing? Pacing? And I need to tone down the melodrama for my next work....... lol! I write, write, write--and usually, I write 60-90% of the fic before I start editing!
6) Editing. Fun fun fun. I don’t mind editing, I just don’t think I’m that GOOD at it. I try to read through my chapter twice and edit as I go. I look for things I want to take out or add, look for show vs tell, formatting, etc--do things make sense? Did I miss anything? In ABAT, I’ll write something in chap 20 that I need to start in chap 18, so I’ll go back and make a quick note to “add part about document somewhere in this chapter” so I don’t confuse readers. When I edit chap 18, I’ll add that line or paragraph in. It’s all an intricate web! I also have a list of vague words I try to eliminate or replace with stronger words (I have more words if you want them). I found that I have certain words or phrases that echo a lot, like “while”, “turned around”, “turned” or “did not”--now I search for these phrases/words and try to change them:
Get rid of vague words, fix by explaining more:
Some
While
Thing
Stuff
Very
Really
Big/small
Good/bad
Simple verbs: had, was, went
Got/get
Few
Several
What
Do/Did
It
Like with all writing “rules”, they can be broken, but it helps to know why they are rules. I steered away from adverbs, and I think it improves my writing. Other writers have different prose and adverbs work so well--it all depends on your style! If I find these vague words in dialogue, for example, I almost never change them because dialogue is usually freaking vague lol!
7) Beta reader(s)! I honestly think this work is better than my other stuff because I have a newer beta reader, theunpaidcritic!!! *I bow* She’s literally an expert so it’s SO helpful for me in every way--I can’t fangirl about her enough. If you’re struggling to get a beta reader, I recommend joining a JB discord (transformative werk is my favorite discord, and there is a beta read request thread) or post a request on reddit!
8) Post! Once you’ve edited and gone over beta reader notes, it’s time to post! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!
For time reference, I started this process around mid-May for ABAT, and I will be done by early September. Maybe I’m just a fast writer? Compared to angel-deux, ha, I look slow. Everyone is different! Please let me know if you have any other questions, I am ALL about helping out! :) <3 <3 <3
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Beatrice was alive many years after the fire at her house
This is part 7 of Strange Interpretation by Jean Lúcio from Brazil.
To understand this text, it is necessary to read some of my previous texts.
If you have understood the Great Hiatus theory well, you will understand why I believe so much that Beatrice survived for many years after the burning of her house.
It is important to remember some important facts about the letter of R. The letter indicates that Lemony was captured that night of the Masked Ball to which the letter refers. In the letter it is written:
"You took a terrible chance in contacting me, but I'm glad you did. I am so sorry that I was unable to prevent, or least delay, your CAPTURE at my masked ball that evening, and I have been worried sick ALL THESE YEARS THAT YOU WERE DEAD, despite rumors of your activities spreading through the network of loyal members . "
Remember that what started the Great Hiatus was the capture of Lemony in this Masked Ball. This capture of Lemony occurred after he had published the books TBB, TRR and TWW.
Please note the following:
"I can not, however, help you answer the question YOU WROTE ME ON THAT GUM WRAPPER." That was the LAST PUBLIC EVENT the members of the organization dared attend together ... Mr. Snicket, everything you kept in my home is gone. BULLFIGHTING COSTUME IS GONE ... Everything in that guest room is gone, and all the things in the guest room next door BEATRICE, OF COURSE, IS FAR PAST COMPLAINING ABOUT LOST POSSESSIONS - THE VERY REASON, I AM CERTAIN, THAT YOU HAVE DEDICATED YOUR LIFE RESEARCHING THE LIVES OF THOSE THREE POOR CHILDREN ... "
Beatrice was in that Masked Ball that happened after the publication of books 1, 2 and 3. As it was explained, When the book TRR was published, it had been years (in the plural) that the main events recorded in the TRR book had already happened. Thus, Beatrice was fully alive years after the fire at her house. According to the letter, Beatrice stayed in the guest room next to the room where Lemony stayed. It is interesting that the pamphlet "13 shocking secrets" says:
Secret 10: "Lemony Snicket was disguised as a bullfighterwhen he was captured."
If R was talking about a Masked Ball that happened more than 15 years before the Beatrice house fire, the letter would not make any sense.
In the first place, this would mean that the ball that took place 15 or more years before the mansion would have been the last until the day R wrote the letter, and since then R would have been in doubt whether Lemony was alive or dead until the day he saw arrive the manuscript of the book 4. But, proof that Lemony would be alive would be the publication for the Great Public of the books TBB, TRR and TWW. According to Lemony, when he wrote the book TRR there was no doubt that he was alive or dead, as he attended dinners, such as Madame d'Lustro's dinner.
Similarly, when Lemony wrote TWW, he had not yet been captured, for he was still in his house, in his room. He wrote:
" I wish I had the power to go back and tell them that they were wrong. But of course, I cannot. I am not on top of the hill, overlooking Lake Lachrymose , on that gloomy morning. I am sitting in my room, in the middle of the night, writing down this story and looking out my window at the graveyard behind my home."
In addition, according to chapter 9 of the UA, there was at least one masked ball after the events recorded in TRR. In a letter to R, Lemony states in Sebald Code that he will go to the Masked Ball of the Duchess of Winnipeg. In the same letter, Lemony states that his enemies are searching for Unty Monty's reptiles. Notice what is written in this letter:
"Your Royal Duchessness,
The bell of regret, I'm sorry to say, must ring. ATTENDINGyour Masked Ball is impossible. Though I'd love to attendYOUR Masked Ball, my enemies are unlikely to cancel their plans - MASKED Ball, perhaps, or a Regular Ball or another kind of BALL - of finding and capturing me. Deep, deep, deep, deep regret IS what I feel for refusing your invitation, but it's too DANGEROUS. They're searching furiously for the survivors of Dr. Montgomery's collection, BUT imagine how furiously they'll search for me. So I'LL run. I'll hide. I'll run to hiding places. I'll do everything except BE at your Masked Ball, even though I'd love to be THERE.
Maybe nest time. I hope so.
With all due respect,
LEMONY Snicket
P.S. Ring, bells of regret! "
The message in Sebald Code is: "ATTENDING YOUR MASKED BALL IS DANGEROUS BUT I'LL BE THERE. LEMONY"
But in addition to the code message note the following snippets:
"They're searching furiously for the SURVIVORS of Dr. Montgomery's collection."
When I talked to D., he explained to me that the classical interpretation of this passage is that there were several moments in history when the reptiles in Dr. Montgomery's collection were lost. According to classical interpretation, the loss of reptiles at the end of TRR can not be regarded as a "Time Mark", because of Daniel Handler's tendency to create duplicates of events to confuse the reader. Thus, D. explained to me that the classical interpretation considers Beatrice's death as a true Time Mark, and all other evidence that all other Time Marks pointing to a possible Beatrice survival would actually be an attempt by Daniel Hanlder to deceive the reader. But of course, I disagree with the classical interpretation. I respect classical interpretation quite a lot, and I can not prove that classical interpretation is wrong. What I do know is that for the classical interpretation to work you need to believe that Lemony Snicket would never lie to his target audience, and that Daniel Hanlder made chronological mistakes.
On the other hand, the Strange Interpretation of Jean Lúcio from Brazil, has as premise that Lemony Snicket tells lies to the Great public of his universe whenever he believes it is good and necessary and that Daniel Hanlder did not make chronological errors. The assumptions are different, and so the results are different. And that is why in the Strange Interpretation of Jean Lúcio from Brazil, the death of Beatrice was removed as a time mark. In my understanding, in this letter from Lemony to R the word "survivors" leaves no doubt as to when Lemony's enemies were searching for reptiles. Individuals from a group of people or animals are called "survivors" when part of the group dies in a single tragic event. Although Uncle Monty had lost his reptiles on a few occasions before the TRR events, he recovered them. However, after the events described in TRR, there was a real death threat to the reptiles and amphibians that were part of that collection.
Bruce explained in TRR chap. 13:
"These snakes need to be taken care of, so we're giving them away to other scientists, zoos, and retirement homes. Those we can not find homes for we'll have PUT TO SLEEP. "
"Put to sleep" is an expression that probably means "to kill some animals".
These links contain a list of meanings in English for "Put to sleep":
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/put%20to%20sleep
www.yourdictionary.com/put-to-sleep
Among the meanings is: "to give drugs to animal that will make it die without pain".
Thus, the Masked Ball in which Lemony is referring in the letter to R in chapter 9 of the UA happened after most of the reptiles in Uncle Monty's collection were killed. This happened after the events described in TRR. Thus, the LAST MASKED BALL that happened in the R mansion could not have happened before the events described in TRR. Moreover, in Lemony's letter to R, Lemony states the following:
"My enemies are unlikely to cancel their plans of finding and capturing me ... They're furiously searching for the survivors of Dr. Montgomery's collection, but imagine how furiously they'll search for me."
This means that in this Ball, Lemony was sure that his enemies could search for him to capture him. As we all know, this is exactly what happened at the masked ball described in TAA and UA.
Apparently Lemony had to remove his bullfighter costume when he was captured, and left the costume at the Duchess's house. Soon after, the costume was destroyed in the fire. Why is this significant?
Note the description of this Masked Ball as found in TAA cap 11.
"I once attended one of the famed masked balls hosted by the Duchess of Winnipeg, and it was one of the most exciting and dangerous events of my life. I was disguised as a BULLFIGHTER and slipped into the party while being pursued by the palace guards , who were disguised as scorpions The moment I entered the Grand Ballroom, I felt as if Lemony Snicket had disappeared I WAS WEARING CLOTHES I HAD NEVER WORN BEFORE-a scarlet cape made of silk and a vest embroidered with gold thread and a skinny black mask-and it made me feel as if I was a different person, and because I felt like a different person, I dared to approach a woman I had been forbidden to approach the rest of my life. -the word "veranda" is a fancy term for the porch made of polished gray marble-and costumed as a dragonfly, with a glittering green mask and enormous silvery wings. As my pursuers scurried around the party, trying to guess which guest was me I slipped out to the veranda and gav and her the message I'd been trying to give her for fifteen long and lonely years. "BEATRICE," I cried, just as the scorpions spotted me, "COUNT OLAF IS--" I CAN NOT GO ON. It makes me weep to think of THAT EVENING, AND OF THE DARK AND DESPERATE TIMES THAT FOLLOWED. "
Another important detail is that the masked ball in which Lemony was captured dressed as a bullfighter was the last to occur until the time when the letter from R to Lemony was written. The letter was written when Lemony had already begun his research on Beatrice's children. Lemony only began his search after the fire of the Baudelaire mansion. Between the day Lemony once used his bullfighter costume and the day the letter was written, there was no other masked ball. The letter was written after R had seen the arrival of the original TMM book. Then all this indicates that this masked ball happened after the publication of TWW and before the publication of TMM.
Please realize that the only time Lemony ever used a bullfighter's guise (at least until he wrote TAA) was when he went to that particular Masked Ball. He was captured on that Masked Ball. After that, he became a fugitive, he had his death published again in the newspapers, and he spent several years abroad. In the book TAA, Lemony refers to these years as THE DARK AND DESPERATE TIMES THAT FOLLOWED the Masked Ball.
In the book TCC chap. 6, Klaus finds written information about a masked ball. But it's not the same Masked Ball. Klaus finds a paper where it says:
'' My Dear Duchess, Your masked ball sounds like a fantastic evening, and I look forward to ... '"
According to ATWQ, there have been many Masked Balls in the house of R. This is a duplicate event. The difference lies in the fact that in just one of these Masked Balls Lemony was disguised as Bullfighter. And it was in the Masked Ball that Lemony was captured. The masked ball that Klaus read about it on paper, happened before or during the main events of ASOUE. However, due to the evidence we have already considered, I believe that the Masked Ball in Lemony was captured happened 15 years after Olaf's death.
According to the description in TAA, Lemony gave Beatrice information on Count Olaf. "COUNT OLAF IS ..." I can only imagine a word to close this sentence. "COUNT OLAF IS DEAD!" Lemony told this to Beatrice 15 years AFTER Count Olaf's death. After all, just like Kit, Olaf died on a desert island with few witnesses. Lemony states that he can not expose the phrase to the Great Public. If he did this, all the readers of the Great Public of his universe would realize that Beatrice survived the fire and was still alive after many years had passed. My conclusion is that Beatrice survived for many years after the fire at the Baudelaire mansion.
If we continue analyzing chapter 9 of the UA using the premises I have listed, we will come to the same conclusions.
After Lemony's letter to R, there is a letter from an enemy of Lemony to someone named Genius. It's interesting that the letter is not for Olaf. By this time Olaf had evidently died.
Below I've copied some highlights from the letter
"Dear Genius,
Gathering information on Dr. Montgomery's reptile collection, as you requested, is a simple as you find a needle in a haystack, if there were a sign over the haystack reading "Needle Here!" with a brightly colored arrow pointing to the exact location of the needle. Finding the reptiles themselves are the difficult ones falling off the log, if the log were so sticky that it was practically impossible to remove oneself from it ...
With my disguise in place, I went to my local library, and it was decorated with a new sign that looked like this
"The World is at your Fingertips at Libray! Please Quiet Here."
Whistling one of my favorite tune, I entered the building and found the librarian, and old man with neatly trimmed gray hair and the mustache that tuned up at the ends. ... When I told him he was looking for information on the reptiles in Dr. Montgomery’s collection, the old man ... said, "well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?"
"What?" I replied. "Never Mind" he said quickly, and led me to the Children’s Room, where to my amazement there was a book all about Dr. Montgomery’s collection and three obnoxious children who visited it. The book is called The Reptile Room, so I was quickly able to find several passages describing the collection. "
After that, we find excerpts from the book TRR. Why is this significant?
As Lemony described in the letter to R in Chapter 9 of the AU, this enemy, at the request of one of his leaders, was searching for the survivors of Uncle Monty's collection. He was looking after the end of events recorded in TRR, and so some of the reptiles probably had already died. After all, he found information about the collection in the TRR book.
According to chapter 9 of the UA, after searching for information in the book TRR, the enemy of Lemony disguised like a cow.
He searched for reptiles in various places. Finally, note what happened:
"7 - Approached a married couple who apparently own the Prospero to ask if any reptiles had recently boarded the ship.
Couple, alarmed by talking cow, refused to participate.
8 - Saw signs indicating there was a dairy nearby. Did not approach due to fear of being milked. "
After this letter, in chapter 9 of the UA, we find a personal note from Lemony. Notice what he wrote:
"Note to file:
The library at Prufrock Preparatory School was a pleasant place, with comfortable chairs, huge wooden bookshelves, brass lamps in the shapes of different fish, and bright blue curtains that rippled like water as a breeze came in from the window. The librarian was an old man with neatly trimmed gray hair and the mustache that turned up at the ends ... As soon as I began to sing the coded song, the old man, whose back was straight, saluted me as if I were a soldier and said "Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?" a phase with here means "I have a message for you." I gave the coded reply - "The question is, has she been good to me?" - and received the following note in return: "
Thus, we can conclude that the enemy went to look for information in Prufrock Prep, because like Lemony, he found exactly the same librarian, and this librarian spoke exactly the same message. The librarian was confused because coincidentally Lemony's enemy was whistling exactly the same song that Lemony whistled.
Thus, we can conclude that the book TRR was already published in Lemony's universe before the closing of Prufrock Prep.
From my point of view, this confirms the theory of the Great Hiatus, and shows that the TAA book was written many years after the writing of the TRR book, since in the TAA book, Lemony states that during the writing of the book TAA Prufrock Pre was closed many years ago. More than that, this confirms that the Ball in which Lemony was capithed, happened after the writing of TRR. In the very book TRR, we find the passage in which Lemony states that Klaus years after the events described in TRR, had difficulty sleeping.
What was the message to Lemony? It was a message from a couple. The couple that the enemy of Lemony disguised as cow approached. The message read:
"Dear Mr. Snicket,
Dr. Montgomery's reptiles. "We're not going to do that," he said. Do not worry - we did not mention anything about our assistance with the Incredibly Deadly Viper - but we fear that the henchman cold use his disguise to cause trouble at Valorous Farms Dairy. The world is quiet here. "
1 - Klaus, Sunny, Violet are adopted by Uncle Monty.
All of this leads me to believe that Lemony knew about the enemies looking for the SURVIVORS of Uncle Monty's collection through this message. Knowing this, Lemony sent the letter to R, talking about the Masked Ball in Sebald code. This to me, is a logical sequence of events.
More than that, this confirms that the Ball in which Lemony was captured happened after the writing of TRR.
All this indicates that Beatrice survived for many years after the destruction of her house. Knowing this, you can begin to create theories about Beatrice's motivations.
In a future text I will explain better on this subject, according to some hypotheses that I have created. But before moving on to try to imagine Beatrice's motivations, we need to be sure of what really happened.
1 - Klaus, Sunny, Violet are adopted by Uncle Monty.
2 - After a few days almost all reptiles and amphibians of Uncle Monty are taken to the Herpetological Society.
3 - After some time, most reptiles are killed.
4 - A few years later, Klaus finds it difficult to sleep because of what happened while he was at Uncle Monty's house.
5 - Some time later, Lemony publishes TRR.
6 - Some time later Lemony publishes TWW.
7 - Sometime later, Lemony's enemy looks for information about Uncle Monty's collection in the book TRR in Prufrock Prep.
8 - Some time later, Lemony goes to Prufrock Prep and receives a letter, where two volunteers inform him about this enemy.
9 - Lemony then receives the invitation letter to a Masked Ball of the Duchess of Winnipeg.
10 - Lemony answers the letter, using Sebald code, and informs the Duchess that the enemies are looking for the survivors of the collection of Uncle Monty.
11 - Fifteen years after Olaf's death, Lemony goes to the Ball disguised as a bullfighter. It is the first and only time he wears these clothes. There he meets Beatrice, who was alive, and tells him that Count Olaf was dead.
12 - Lemony is captured, but escapes and becomes a fugitive.
13 - Lemony's death is published again in the daily Punctilio. A little later, Lemony flees abroad in Prospero, and spends many years out of the country.
14 - The Prufrock Prep stops working at some point after Lemony's departure abroad.
15 - Lemony returns from the outside and sends a letter to R along with the original TMM.
16 - R realizes that Lemony is alive, and then she answers the letter with another letter.
17 - The TMM book is published in Lemony's universe.
18 - The TAA book is published in Lemony's universe. In this book, Lemony reports how the Masked Ball he was captured in, and states that Purfrock Prep has been closed for many years.
In the next Text, I will write about the secret message that is in TSS, and why I believe it is a message to Beatrice. And because I do not believe in the classical interpretation of ASOUE that that letter is evidence that Lemony wrote ASOUE during recorded events, and then sent it to Kit, and then revised it and then published years later. Thanks for reading here. Until the next text.
#Asoue#asoue chronology#asoue spoilers#asoue theories#beatrice is alive#Beatrice Baudaliare#lemony snicket the unauthorized autobiography#the beatrice letters#sugar bowl#klaus baudelaire#sunny baudelaire#violet baudelaire#desventuras em série#DeS
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Out Of The Woods (3/?)
This multi chap fic has been one that I've wanted to write for a while. I'm hoping to connect a few loose ends, since my series is getting closer to the end. Don't worry, I still got a couple of fics left in me. I'd love to thank @xerxezra whose conversations with me are always inspirational. I'd also like to thank @dorkydisappointment whose writing got my creative juice flowing and @hoodoo12 who continues to inspire me all the time. Please check out the wonderful art done by @ravenousscorpian for two scenes out of the second chapter of this fic (Her art found here)
References to the woman in Ricks journal is from my fic What You Found Amongst The Pages. I know, that was shameless self promotion. There are a lot of questions that I wanted to answer in you'd chapter, but for the sake of editing had to put it in the next. I'll work on it right as soon as this is posted. Thanks for everyone's continued support. 😘😘😘😘😘😘
If you haven't read part 1 or part2, then heres a link (Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2)
In this fic the reader tries to uncover the mystery of the artist behind Zeta-7s portrait.
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Chapter 3: Dare Not Say That Man Forgets Sooner
Whatever redeeming qualities the room held in the previous happy hours were gone, and now even the remnant, lingering daydreams were falling away. With every hour you comprehended the severity of your assumptions and what the consequences were if you decided that enough was enough. Honestly, you didn't want to lose him because Zeta-7 was the light of your life; he expanded your universe and had helped you become a better person, but you could still carry on if you needed to. You had the means, your work, and an ever growing list of books to read, but was it enough, now that you had gotten a taste of the good life? Probably not.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Concerning the current situation, and all which led up to it; if you considered everything which included your existence, life till now, and all he had ever done, then there was no mistaking that he loved you; or had; at least thought he did, but it didn't change the truth of the matter; you hadn't been the first. A few hours had given you time to weep until you thought you had no tears left to cry, but there was still a thick fog over your thoughts and rationality; any shift of emotion being too much to bear. You curled into yourself, aching, hoping you'd disappear, but it didn't work; you were still here; stuck. Being at a disadvantage, not knowing how to get home and neither having a way to get there if you could was frustrating.
Who knows how long you'd been down here, despairing, wallowing in memories and dust, but you were tired, thirsty, and knew that if you didn't move he'd have trouble finding you, and yet you didn't care; let him find you; let him work for it. Though, how would that make it any better? All it would do is succeed in upsetting him before you knew all the facts. You hated this. Father always said hate was a strong word that shouldn't be taken for granted; you rarely had reason to feel as such, but the more you gleaned from those photos and the more proof you found of her presence about the place made you feel hateful and bitter.
Thinking of her smiling at him, receiving every bit of his loving-kindness and inviting demeanor animated by unaffected good-will; his general countenance and becoming familiar with a fresher-faced creature of your dreams; holding him; touching him; loving him. Oh God no, you thought, groaning into a handmade pillow. What was worse was that you couldn't dissuade the thought of her mysterious silhouette sneaking up behind you, plunging a knife into your already fragile identity, and taking back what was hers. Your doubt feeding these ugly horrors which were hybrids of nightmares and daydreams.
Though during a brief moment of clarity, you had come to a conclusion which hardly alleviated these feelings, but we're true; it wasn't your fault. Yes, it had been your choice to accept him and be in a proper relationship with someone with an ambiguous past, and yes you did snoop around a little, but you didn't know how much he'd been hiding or searching for someone like her and had settled on silly, stupid you. Yet, no matter how much you thought about it, why chase a vision of the past and put so much effort in the present? There must've been more to this; there had to be.
Manifested, unstinted kindness and consideration and love in his form didn't happen out of the blue, it was nurtured and conditioned. Had it been her influence which made you knew? Who knows, but you had been fortunate to have had an opportunity to associate let alone form a romantic attachment, but that would soon pass away once you confronted him. Right? After a little while longer, when your heart was finally beginning to slow and thought you'd be able to catch your breath, you heard him walking about upstairs; calling and knocking.
Rick was home and you turned over on the couch and covered your ears so you wouldn't hear him; you weren't ready to deal with this; you didn't want to deal with this. In your heart of hearts, you wanted to go home, to the past, back to when there were no problems and it was just you, dad, and your dreams. If only he was still around so that he could tell you that everything was alright and it was all just a bad dream and that he could fix it, but you couldn't; only in a dream, you could. Dad always knew what was best, but you were old enough to decide for yourself now.
Did this mean you wish you never knew Rick? No, but you wished that you would've never known about all this; about her; that you could've lived in ignorance. Oh, the sweet, sweet bliss of ignorance, how wonderful it had been while it lasted. Even when his warm laughter echoed down the stairway, having found you, ready, eager and excitable to be near you, you didn't answer. You knew you weren't in the state of mind to say anything nice, that despite it all he wasn't a bad person. Yet, the moment that hand of his touched your shoulder, you hissed. “Don't touch me.”
He gasped, stunned by this uncharacteristic aggression. Maybe you weren't the nice girl he thought you were after all; especially if the rustling of his clothes alone made you angry enough to dig your nails into the couch cushions. Zeta-7 waited for a few moments, ruminating on what would be the best course of action before he knelt down to be at your level and wondered. “What's wrong? Are y-y-you hurt? Is th-there anything I can do?”
Swallowing back a sob, you silently counted to ten then answered in a listless tone. “I don't know if you can. You've… you've been hiding stuff from me.”
“Huh, I-I have? What have I…”
“Don't try to deny it.”
Pushing yourself up, you rubbed your swollen eyes and chanced a look at him; your sight fuzzy as tears threatened to fall but thankfully didn't. The alarm in his widened eyes at the state of your runny nose, and tear-stained cheeks made him instinctively reach out to wipe your tears away, but you pushed that familiar, loving hand away. “M-mi corazón?”
Instead of answering as you usually would, you pulled out the well-loved copy of Persuasion from behind a pillow, took a deep breath and dropped it on his lap. “I found it while I was looking for something to read.”
“Oh geez.”
“And can you believe I found more than I bargained for.”
You two sat in silence for what felt like hours as he stared at it, and when he gathered the courage to look inside, the lines about his brow and mouth deepened; another sign that it was true. When he finally interrupted the silence, he confessed regretfully. “I-I was going to tell you.”
“But you didn't. There's a lot of things that I understand are none of my business, but this….I think is a good time to know. If you care about me at all, then read what you wrote.”
“But it's - it's not what you think.”
“Then there's nothing be afraid of. Go on then, read it.”
Visibly swallowing, his shaky hands held it open and he stuttered. “I-I-I thought of you today as I left th-the milky way, on my way t-to a classified location. I-I wish you were here so I could show you the beauty that exists across the universe, but knowing our limitations I can only send you this wonderful novel that I found when I was exploring a-a bookstore located on one of Saturn's moons. I-I know it can be hard to believe that Miss Jane Austen's works can reach the furthest depths of-of space, but that can be blamed on a certain Gallifreyan and his little blue box. I can't wait to hear what y-y-you think of it. Till next time my dear. With love, from Rick.”
“Don't forget the photos.”
Setting down the book, he glanced at the discarded photos, sagging a little after each one, gauging your reaction after he finished studying them. Rick was a smart man, he knew well enough that he messed up and how compromising those photos were. “It's not - I was only writing as ugh - as a friend.” He began, wringing his hands as he went on. “Y-y-y-y-you know I don't have that many.”
Which was true. “Really? So what did she do for you? Was she special?”
“She - she made me a little less lonely. That in itself was something I w-was grateful for.”
Your nails bit into your palms and that ever familiar ache bloomed across your chest; his answer birthing more questions than you were willing to ask. He offered you a Werther's original to placate you which you accepted; it's wrapper similar to the one in the painting. As ever he waited for you to answer, and the longer he waited, the more he sagged; his eyes pleading, hoping, wishing that he could know whatever hurt clouded your heart and wanted to fix it. “I want to believe you, I really do,” you admitted, which made him hopeful, though only for you to crush it with this. “but I'm tired of walking on eggshells. Tell me, what did you want from me when you had someone like her? Seems as though she was a good match for you. She was a creative who could paint, loved flowers, and butterflies among other things I imagine.”
“Sh-she did.”
You bit the inside of your cheek in an attempt to hold back the surge of feelings which were a result of his sincerity. Damn it. You could do this……possibly. “See?” you said cooly, focusing your gaze on your naked feet. “I knew she was special considering you sent her a book that had belonged to the Doctor. She also knew about your travels, which meant you trusted her and you hardly trust anyone. The point I'm getting at is that I want to know what I am to you. So, am I a knockoff or a rebound? Because we both know there's nothing like the real thing.”
“N-n-no, not at all. You mean th-the world to me and I-I love you. I have only loved you. ”
“But she loved you, didn't she? And you loved her. I can't ignore that. If she's anything like me, then what are we doing together Ricardo? Why aren't you with her? I…. I thought we understood each other but then I found proof that I was only second best. I can't do it, I can't compete with a shadow, and I'm not going to try. I don't have it in me.”
“I-I-I-I never expected you to. Por favor mi amor de m-mi vida, if you'll let me explain, I'll tell you whatever you want. I - I don't want to lose you. Please, honest t-t-to God, I don't. I can't.”
“Hmm, I didn't know you were a praying man.”
“When you're about t-t-to lose your universe, I don't think there are th-that many options. I can't - oh please I can't lose you. Not again.”
You felt your resolve breaking. You wanted to fall into his arms and melt into the comfort of them; for you both to comfort each other and let it all go because it probably was just a big misunderstanding; him being the best thing that ever happened to you, but not yet. Maybe he was a praying man after all, and if God was merciful, then why wouldn't you be? Rick certainly would. For Zeta-7, you could be. He'd definitely given you enough chances.
“Fine.” you decided, helping him up as you stood, but through this brief touch he almost misunderstood, thinking that the worst was over and gave your hand a squeeze; his warm smile weakening your resolve even further. Maybe Ricks were masters at mind games after all. And you knew it wouldn't take much for him to make you forget how unhappy you were, and like magic, show you something wonderful and dazzling, but you didn't want to be charmed; you wanted the truth. You bit the flesh inside of your cheeks hard enough for you to bleed, and despite relishing the warmth which permeated your chilled hands, you let go. “I'm……I'm not over it yet.”
TBC
#doofus rick#doofus rick x reader#rick sanchez x reader#rick sanchez#rick and morty#rick and morty fanfiction#j19z7#rick j19z7#j19ζ7#rick j19zeta7#j19zeta7#j-19-zeta-7#rick j-19-zeta-7#rnm fanfic#rnm#my writing#my works
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I relate to the OC so much! A few years ago, one of my closest friends did something similar to me. So now I'm crying. But I love New Rules so freakin' much, you don't even know!
Anonymous said:What happened in the last chapt. really resounded w/ me. Related to Mijoo bc I once did something similar to a friend of mine back in high school- she liked a guy who I was sort of friends with, and she wanted me to put in a good word and all, but I ended up crushing on and hooking up w/ him and even now I feel like shit when I think about it. Like the OC, she was the bigger person and forgave me but I'd have understood if she didn't, bc even though it was just a crush, I broke her trust in me.
Anonymous said:Maybe because I've had a whole lifetime worth of Mijoo's I just can't find it in my heart to hate her. It's fucked up what she did, but people fuck up and let emotions run their lives. Y'all need to chill tho.
Anonymous said:If someone would do something like that to me I’d go full on bitch mode and ruin her life no matter how innocent, sweet, petty bla bla I’d ruin her life especially since it actually once happened to me and just like her I didn’t do anything about it because I was to nice back than but now that I went trough shit I know not to let people treat me as they’d do// hope she grows stronger in the future chapters 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
queen-bee222 said:Im sorry but i dont like Mijoo. I've encountered so many girls like her and they have always fucked me over😠😠😩
Anonymous said:Hi Lu, thank you so much for the new chapter of New Rules. I wanted to say that I love how you create the OC's personality in a way that relates to many people. I actually cried when I was reading this chapter because the friendship between the OC and Mijoo is painfully similar to my friendship with my best friend. People think I'm this self-confident, sarcastic, heartless person but it's all just a facade. I'm terrified of people learning how paranoid and insecure I feel. I'm a brick in
Anonymous said:comparison to my friend. She's pretty, popular, confident and lovable. We're labeled best friends, but sometimes she turns her back to me like I'm nothing... To treasure someone so much only for them to hurt you in the end is heartbreaking. But no matter how much she hurt or angered me, I could never have the heart to hurt her. We're not the perfect friends I thought we were. Thank you so much for opening my eyes about her and myself.
thirsty99girl
submitted:
I just read chap 2 of new rule!!! And I almost cried!!! Because I can relate and feel how the oc feels!!! this story really reminds me of what happened to me in the past with my ex best friend!! We both had crush on the same guy and I didn’t know at first she even liked him then being the snake she is, she talked tons of shit about me in front of my crush and then coming to me lying through her teeth saying my crush told her that he liked her and then she caused so much drama for me that I won’t even talk about till it led me and my crush to the point we stopped talking to each other over an argument that she caused by lying and I could’ve expose her ass and make her ashamed of what she did but I just decided to hold everything back in my chest & forgive her, I give up on him even tho I still like him a lot and seeing him is a suffer for me… I don’t talk to my best friend anymore not because of him, because she did so many other things to me and later saying that she’s sorry and pretending to be the most innocent girl on earth!! I was tired of this… ughh I’m sorry idek why I talked about this I just felt like letting it out 😪
Anonymous said:Holy crap, the new chapter for New Rules stings like a bitch. A similar situation happened to me with my friend and this guy I liked. I told my friend that I liked the guy, and she told him soon after, which I wasn't really angry about. I remember feeling so lost when he knew my feelings and I didn't know his. I would talk to her about it and she would tell me that maybe we just weren't meant to be. I didn't find out until a couple years later when he said
Anonymous said:"Yeah, remember when we liked each other?" in one of our conversations, that I found out that he told her to tell me that he reciprocated my feelings. She never told me until I told her about my conversation with him. She said she liked him too and that it would've been hard for her to see him happy with someone who wasn't her. This is where I really connect with the oc's thoughts. How could you put a relationship over a friendship like that? I found it so selfish.
Anonymous said:I think the most difficult part of a situation like that is thinking what could've been. Maybe we would've made the best couple ever. Maybe we would've gotten married or had kids on the future. You just can't know. It hurts like a bitch, and you're just left clueless. Anyway, amazing chapter as always! I can't wait to read more once you have time to grace us with your beautiful words once again 💘
Anonymous said:Can you believe that I relate too much to the OC? A very close friend did something similar to me a few years ago in high school. So here I am, crying. But I loved this chapter sooooo much.
Anonymous said:This chapter hurt me a lot. Cuz I feel like I do so much more for my friends and then they ditch me right when they get into a relationship. It hurts even more when it's a good guy. I've never had a guy genuinely like me for my personality, just for my body. It makes me wonder if anyone would even like me for me, but that notion hasn't been proven yet so. :/ I'm kind of tired of feeling compelled to put other people first, though that's just who I am guess.
Anonymous said:1- WHY DO I IDENTIFY SO MUCH WITH THE OC OF NEW RULES? lemme tell you this...I was bffs with a girl for years, she always tried to be with the guys me and my friends were with, she even fucked the guy who I had my first time with and told me ON MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. The thing is I let so many fucked up things slide only because I thought our friendship meant more than some guys, until I realized she didn't care about me feeling bad because of her actions, she cared more about fucking a dude than
Anonymous said:2- our friendship. I wonder what will it take for the oc to snap, she may try to forgive mijoo, but when you just forgive someone that easily, they don't learn their lesson, they will do it again and again because they know they can do it because you will forgive them at the end. I hope Mijoo isn't the case but Idk... thank you for writing something real as New Rules, really makes you think about things.
Anonymous said:When I got the notification that you'd updated New Rules I swear I've never clicked a notification so fast asjdkakck No but real talk when I finished reading I was genuinely convinced that me and the OC were the same person, I hate how I relate to this story but it's so good!! Teared up towards the end bcus feels ;-; Thank you for creating such wonderful writing, my non-existent soul is blessed (and so are you) ^ - ^
Anonymous said:I am literally on the brink of tears, Lu. I feel like a lot of girls can in some way relate, because at some point, we were all immature little babies who had no idea how to handle ourselves or relationships, so we just flew by the seat of our pants. The way the OC feels and what happened with her and Jimin and Mijoo reminds me of a similar situation that I was in, and for you to capture those feelings so nicely was a punch in the gut.
Ah, Im reading through all of your asks and my heart is breaking for all of you guys :( im legit tearing up here knowing that so many of you can relate and that you’ve gone through such similar experiences. I hope that you have those toxic ppl out of your lives and that you’re all doing well now. I love you all D:
#new rules#this srsly made me so sad :(:(:(:((#i want to hug you all#i want to have a giant group cuddling session with wine#anon#lu answers
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Also, Smoke Into The Sand w/ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15! OoO As a side-note I haven't read this yet (SHAME ON ME BC I WANNA) and i'm SUPER interested in it!
asdfjskdjskdjfsk this is gonna get long fukc
What inspired you to write the fic this way?
my main goal with sits was to make it read like an old myth or storybook, an old tale that would be passed down for generations, the majority of the fic is written in that style exactly, but the overall story definitely is (and it does come through a bit more in how the backstory is told and some of the more important scenes)
that said, the main narrative is written much more slice-of-life-y, one of my biggest inspirations for this fic is the manga monogatari (bride’s story), it’s a really nice series that explores the daily life of people in various areas along the silk road, it has that simple, everyday life feel that i love and really wanted to write into sits! that’s where the random details about desert living and the tribe’s lifestyle come in (warning for anyone who might want to check out mono though: it does have an arranged marriage between a 20 yr old woman and a 12 yr old boy, it’s being played as a more platonic/familial relationship thus far but i can totally understand why it would put people off, so just a heads-up before anyone jumps in)
What scene did you first put down?
the first scene i actually started writing was the very first scene! but the very first scene, the one that spawned this entire fic i haven’t actually gotten to yet, it’s gonna be v near the end and i’m dying to finally reveal it because it’s gonna be Big.. but i shalln’t spoil it here, just something for my readers to look forwards to
What’s your favorite line of narration?
ok so like i said i’m shit at remembering any of what i write and it’s a bit more than just a line but fuck it:
Gaara froze, in fact, everything did. The soft whistling ofthe wind cut off into eerie silence, the constantly shifting sand stopped witha suddenness that was entirely unnatural, Naruto glanced away for a second andsaw that some grains were being held in the air, perfectly still. He turned hisgaze back to the spirit before him, his expression hadn’t changed at all, hewas still glaring, but his eyes were unfocussed, like they weren’t reallylooking at him.
Naruto was too scared to move, to speak; hecould only stare and pray that he hadn’t just sealed his own death warrant.
What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
again, not a line, but i really love this exchange between nart and ameno so effing much:
“So mature… You’re growing up too fast, how am I ever goingto keep up?” she asked, mostly to herself judging from the distant look on herface.
He slowly drew his hand back once her face wasdry and gave her a confused look. “You won’t have to; I’ll just carry you withme.
What part was hardest to write?
well i might just be saying this cause it’s the most recent struggle i faced (among many) but the chapter six reALLY killed me. trying to find the right way to describe the exhaustion and constant fear took many, many weeks and i’m still not sure i really nailed it (hopefully something i’ll be able to fix in the next chap)
What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
other than being the first multi-chap fic i’ve ever written, this is actually one of my oldest fic ideas ever, seriously it’s been kicking around in my head for a good five years or so now so there’s that
it also happens to contain basically All of my Special Interests; naruto, deserts, nomadic culture, boring minutia, swords.... honestly the only thing it’s missing is cats (though i’m sure i can find some way to work them in too..)
and, honestly, this is kinda my magnum opus? or at least that’s how i’ve always thought of it, i had actually planned to not start writing it until i’d already done a few other fics because i wanted to make sure my writing skill was at its best before starting such an ambitious fic.. yeah that didn’t happen, but i think that’s actually worked out alright, jumping in with a harder fic right at the start of my writing ‘career’ has been a bit of a crash-course and taught me a heck of a lot, i still think it’s gonna be one of the best things i ever write though. it just has a very special place in my heart
Where did the title come from?
well tbh i’m kinda shit at titles, so i usually just hunt through the first chap looking for any particularly poetic-sounding line that would work (though in this case it does have a nice little easter egg, since in arab folklore jinn are made of smoke!)
Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?
hmm not really? the whole thing is meant to be very fantastical and unreal (despite all the slice-of-life stuff), the only real-world insp comes from my research into bedouin lifestyle and such
What do you like best about this fic?
gaara! i mean ofc i like him in anything but this version of gaa - silent, detached, barely human, incredibly complex - is one of my faves and he’s really fun to write, we’ll be finding out more about him as the fic goes on and when we do it’ll make his actions before now both more understandable and less at the same time (he’s quite the paradox)
What do you like least about this fic?
the inconsistency. i feel like i must’ve gone through about ten different writing styles throughout the course of it and it bothers me that i haven’t quite got that storybook feel i was always aiming for, i’ll probably do a rewrite when i’ve got more experience under my belt and try to make the whole thing a bit more cohesive
What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
as with btc, i mostly listen to soundtracks, since songs with lyrics really distract me when writing, since i like to try and match the music i listen to to the setting/tone of what i’m writing i try to listen to classical middle-eastern music (though i’ve had a hard time finding many albums of just instrumental stuff, if anyone has any recs i’d love you forever!)
in addition to that there’s the soundtracks of Journey, Bastion, Dreamfall Chapters and the Prince of Persia games and for instrumental artists i really like Break of Reality and Tina Guo for sits insp!
Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?What did you learn from writing this fic?
hmm, well i’d love it if people learned a bit more about the cultures i’m writing about (and i’d like to learn more of that too tbh, i’m still finding out new things that i actually got wrong earlier on in the fic), maybe even get interested enough to go looking for more info themselves, because there’s a lot of stuff that i simply won’t be able to go into much detail about
as for myself, well ^that and also it’s just been a rEALLY good experience in so many small ways - writing longer fics, writing in general, character interaction, introspection, action, plotting, description, suspense, mystery..... i could go on but yeah, basically it’s helped me grow as an author in Every Single Way and i’m sure it’ll help ever more before it’s done!
#ictoan answers#ictoan doesn't write#thank you for asking!#fuck i can talk about this shit for hours apparently#long post
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