I met Daniel Handler tonight and I regret to inform you: I lost my shit.

me when somebody asks me if i was a harry potter kid or a twilight kid

Congratulations!! Currently you are my inspiration.

****90 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION!****

Feel like Olaf there, riding the dead horse!

Yeah! Thank you to all 90 followers, especially @untillyoufallasleep, who is my latest follower, and @snicketstrange, who has supported [and collaborated with] me since the beginning.

Can't wait for 100!

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

Behind the Periscope: The True Story of Captain Widdershins

Many people don't like Captain Widdershins, but he is actually humanity's greatest hero. Moreover, he possesses the best skill in hiding truths: he can tell half-truths and mix them with lies. I would say he is on the same level as Quigley, or even higher, in deceiving people.

He created an entire character to distract those around him. We see this in a comparison between his young version in ATWQ and his adult version in TGG. Let's analyze his adult version in TGG and see how he is an impressive agent of VFD.I find this book very interesting. I'm not following the reread, but I remember some important points in my theory. Firstly, Captain W. is certainly a big liar.

He is looking for the SB in the ocean because he received information that the SB had been thrown out of the HQ window. Certainly this information must have been received through the telegram equipment that is hypothetically broken. But it was working all the time. Surely after Klaus calculated where the SB was, Captain W sent the information to the mysterious woman or her supporters. He must have sent this information while the children were sleeping.

Thanks to that, the woman got to GG and grabbed SB. She must have arrived at the submarine with the SB in hand. And Captain W decided to abandon the submarine so urgently because the woman said something like: "I can't breathe." He must have taken the SB with him. That's why he needed to send the SB to Hotel D via the crows. The reason SB needed to go to Hotel D was because SB contained a lot of confidential information, much of that information was being cataloged in the real Hotel D.Another key thing is the backstory of the W family that mixes with the Anwistle family and Olaf's actions. It has been explained several times that the word "schism" refers to different events in the recent history of VFD.

We had the Great Schism, which the Man with a Beard and the Woman without a Beard participated in, about 40 years before the main events. As they said, it was at this event that the serpents took the willing side of the schism. Olaf, evidently still quite young, took the willing side of the schism as well, and was trained along with Lemony by VFD. Another important schism was the Anwistle Schism. It is this schism that the W family was unsure whether to participate or not.

Captain W's wife evidently sided with the schism that wanted to use the deadly MM fungus against the enemies that already existed (the incendiary side) while Captain W himself was unsure whether he would support his wife or not. That's certainly what led to the end of their marriage, and the lame excuse about Fiona's mother's death. Fiona herself was still a baby. Around this time, Olaf and Fernald teamed up to put an end to the threat of the deadly MM fungus. This development of events made Fernald very confused about VFD's morals and Olaf's morals.

According to Fernald and Lemony's words about him disagreeing with some of Captain W's attitudes, and Olaf's words about the W family never deciding which side to support in the schism, and the fact that Olaf and Fiona were close when she was still a baby, leads me to believe that Captain W was actually the great hero of humanity. An unrecognized hero, but a hero nonetheless.

The deadly MM fungus needed to be destroyed. That is a fact that, at least I, recognize. But only people who supported Anwistle's schism could approach where the fungus was being cultivated. This is evident by the fact that Kit Snicket tried to convince Anwistle through a letter, instead of solving the problem herself.Captain W had to pretend to be a supporter of Anwistle's schism and infiltrate the sect. In order to help him complete this mission, Captain W managed to marry Fiona and Fernald's mother, one of Anwistle's main persons of interest due to her research work. Additionally, Kit Snicket achieved an engineering feat: building a submarine that required a very small crew to operate, as it did not use human propulsion.Thus, Captain W became a person of interest for Anwistle's plan since his submarine could be used in all the necessary logistics. But at some point, Captain W was responsible for bringing a person from VFD with a bad reputation and experience in causing fires to Anwistle's facilities: Olaf.

Unable to explain his true intentions to Fernald, Captain W posed as a supporter of Anwistle's ideas in Fernald's eyes. And for that reason, Fernald allied with Olaf and helped in the destruction of AA and the deadly MM fungus, without knowing that this was exactly what Captain W had in mind.It was a complicated situation. Anyway, Fernald could not conceive the idea that Captain W would remain a member of VFD even knowing that VFD was responsible for cultivating the deadly MM fungus, without making the proper separation between the wheat and the chaff of VFD. That's why he joins Olaf, who from his point of view was a dissident member of VFD and one of the responsible for saving humanity.

Another important detail is how Captain W manages to pretend that he is completely unaware of JS. At no point did he show any lack of knowledge about the fact that he was actually working with JS, and instead he simply changed the subject and stated that Jacques Snicket was dead. But evidently, Captain W was working with JS. After all, JS knew that the children were arriving in a submarine. This information must have come from the submarine itself and reached JS, and this could only be possible through W's communication with JS or a supporter of JS. This leads us to believe that JS, the recipient of the message in the refrigerator in TSS, was expected at the VFD HQ. He would receive the SB. And he must indeed have received it. After all, the person who really took on the role of Jacques Snicket must have been his brother Lemony Snicket, who is also disguised as a taxi driver, and received the SB just as he had wanted to from the beginning. (In TPP). In other words, Captain W saved humanity again: he prevented the SB from falling into the wrong hands.

I think it's very appropriate to talk about dates on the first day of a year. I think the estimate for the Netflix series is pretty accurate. I had a lot of fun with this joint theory. I hope it's a big success among the fans.

*Joint Theory 6 - @unfortunatetheorist & @snicketstrange*:

-The Truthful Time Period-

When EXACTLY do the events of ASOUE (Netflix & Book) occur?

Firstly:

*Happy New Year, wherever you are celebrating from!*

(This post debuts on my, @unfortunatetheorist's, blog; 00:00 GMT)

The subject of time has been one of great debate throughout the ASOUE fandom, especially with references such as the Baudelaires' favourite film being the 1938 version of Dawn Patrol and Olaf saying he bought the hourglass from TBB online.

In this theory, @snicketstrange and I have come up with what we believe to be a definitive answer, for each case - Netflix Canon and Book Canon.

A firm starting point is this line from TBB:

"In the years since, I've inquired what became of the Brothers Poe. One followed his father into the world of banking. The other lives in a cave and talks to sheep. They each think the other has it better."

This means that the time between the main events of ASOUE and the release of the first season of the series on Netflix in the ASOUE universe is enough for Mr. Poe's children to grow up and one of them to become a banker. We can assume that it would be reasonable to think about at least 10 years. This should be approximately the age difference between Lemony who appears in TSS and Lemony who narrates.

Also, Violet's line from TRR:

"Um, Dawn Patrol, the 1938 version."

This implies 2 things: there was a later remake of Dawn Patrol (hence, "version") and the Baudelaire parents must have been at the suitable age rating to watch the movie when it came out, as:

Monty: "It was your parents' favourite too."

Let's estimate to see how accurate we can be. In 1938 the film was released. Bertrand probably saw this film when he was a teenager, but perhaps not at the premiere. But maybe. (Favourite films when we are adults often arise when we watch these films in [pre-]adolescence).

So, Bertrand in 1938 could have been 12 years old. Let's put this scenario as the oldest. If he was 12 years old in 1938, he must having got married and fathered Violet at around 28 (estimate based on all of Beatrice's history with Lemony prior to her marriage to Bertrand, and Bertrand's appearance in TE). In this case Violet would have been born in 1954, and the series' main events would have been 14 years later in 1968. Lemony would be narrating the story in about 1978.

Now, thinking about the upper limit, we would have the case where the premiere of the Netflix series in our universe happened in the same year as in Lemony's universe. In this case, 2017 would be the year of Lemony's narration, and then 2007 would be the year of ASOUE's main events. So, to date, our estimate is between 1968 and 2007 (book + Netflix).

The main problem is that ASOUE in the books is quite anachronistic. Despite the aesthetics Netflix exists within the universe. But, in contrast, we can argue that Netflix at the time was a video home delivery service, as was the original Netflix. (We don't see people with internet at home in ASOUE, and a computer like in Prufrock Prep was quite rare, hence it being called 'Advanced').

[And apparently something not connected to the internet.]

And this is very interesting. ASOUE's Netflix series is meant to be a video delivery service. After all, we see in THH that there are video delivery services in the library and devices for showing videos.

The first type of Home Video to exist in our world was Betamax in 1975.

And the first microcomputer for personal use was also launched in 1975, the Altair 8800.

And if we look at a detail in LSTUA.

I know they are separate universes, but this photographic record is the only one dated in the entire Unfortunate universe: October 1977. It wouldn't be surprising if the series' writers (who are fans of the books) had this enigmatic date in mind, and made ASOUE take place in the 1970s.

And 2 years after the launch of home video and after the launch of microcomputers would be exactly the time needed for a newly launched technology to have spread enough to suggest services like Netflix in the world of ASOUE.

Long enough for some people to buy video cassettes and even cameras.

Here's the full picture:

So the answer to our original question:

JOINT THEORY: ASOUE is set in the 1970s.

*Joint Theory 5 - @unfortunatetheorist & @snicketstrange*:

The End - Book Canon vs Netflix Canon

(Does Ishmael have a greater impact on our protagonists than expected?)

As much as we would have loved, or hated, to have seen the books' material 'copied and pasted' onto our screens, there are some things in the material that are simply too difficult/horrible to film, such as Dr Orwell & Sunny's 'duel', in TMM.

In this theory, @snicketstrange and I (@unfortunatetheorist) are going to be investigating differences between Book The Thirteenth, The End and Episode the... Last (26th?), The End.

The first is that:

BOOK: There is some narration from Lemony.

NETFLIX: There is absolutely NO input from Lemony.

This addition by Netflix removes the books' doubt of Lemony being a reliable narrator, as it shows the Baudelaires' direct experience.

Book Lemony knew what had happened there and the consequences of it - Lemony knew Kit had died when he wrote TE. But Netflix Lemony only discovered this after he met with Beatrice Baudelaire II. This is an important chronological difference: when Beatrice II started looking for Lemony it was around the time he was yet to publish the TWW book, and that is evidenced by the fact that Beatrice Jr did not identify the paperweight in the shape of leeches despite her having already read some of Lemony's books according to her words.

The Netflix show's writer(s) probably chose this to deal with TSS's secret letter. The screenwriter(s) interpreted the letter to mean that Lemony did NOT know that Kit was dead.

Meaning:

BOOK: Lemony knows Kit is dead during the writing of TE.

NETFLIX: Lemony does NOT know Kit is dead until he meets Beatrice II.

Also, this notable curiosity:

BOOK: Every single islander is NAMED.

NETFLIX: Only a few of the islanders are named, such as Miranda, Friday and Alonso.

This could be due to the fact that in the books, the Baudelaires are implicitly, but still evidently, Jewish. In the Netflix series, they probably saw that as some sort of risk of anti-semitism (i.e. Jewish persecution) and so had to remove all possible traces, e.g. Rabbi Bligh, to ensure the show still aired.

Another:

BOOK: Ishmael was chemistry teacher at Prufrock.

NETFLIX: Ishmael was the principal of Prufrock.

This is quite considerable, especially linking to ATWQ and Cleo's love and talent for chemistry - he could('ve) be(en) a chemistry teacher with the name Ishmael N Knight, as a family member of Cleo and Ingrid and... Cleo's other somehow-forgotten parent. Also, the fact that in the series, Ishmael started V.F.D. - this means that Netflix's Baudelaires had it wrong the whole time, but they only learnt when he mentioned his story: in the Netflix series, the root cause of the Baudelaires' trouble was actually Ishmael.

If he didn't start V.F.D. nothing would've happened...

Now we come to what is, arguably, the most important difference of all:

BOOK: There is a mutiny/schism between the islanders, because the islanders do things in secret, such as Professor Fletcher teaching islanders how to read, and Madame Nordoff learning how to yodel.

NETFLIX: There is NO mutiny.

The mutiny was probably left out of the Netflix series due to the budget for showtime and money - it was too much to carry out.

However, within this difference, there are other differences, such as:

BOOK: The Baudelaires [temporarily] get kicked out from the island, before Finn and Erewhon bring them some mild onion soup.

NETFLIX: Nothing happens to the Baudelaires.

There's a lot to unpick in TE, even for Snicket-ologists like us; it can get really trivial, especially with lines like Olaf's "You don't know anything".

As the 'poet' Emma Montana McElroy said:

"That's the end of that".

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph & @snicketstrange,

Unfortunate Theorists/Snicketologists

Considering your theory about Lemony being the actual biological father of all 3 Baudelaire children, do you think Bertrand ever suspected that his children might not actually be his biologically? Do you think he ever found out, and if he did, why do you think he would choose to stay with Beatrice anyways? I imagine it would be difficult for him to handle the truth, because he clearly did love his children very dearly in book canon (show canon as well, though we don't hear much about him there).

Let's venture into the realm of speculation and headcanon, okay? To discuss opinions, hypotheses, and headcanons, we need to accept that many of our statements are just opinions, and one cannot seek theoretical support for them. However, it is still important to align with what we know about the characters. Hypotheses can be destroyed when evidence against them is found, while theories need (initially) positive evidence (even if not conclusive).

So, if I may be morbid, I have the hypothesis that Bertrand discovered the truth about who the real father of the children was in the same week that the fire occurred. In fact, I think the one who started the fire at the Baudelaire mansion was one of the Baudelaire parents due to this shocking revelation. And if one of them survived and that someone is Bertrand, he is responsible for trying to kill Lemony years later. And that's why, despite being alive, Bertrand did not seek to find out more about his 'children'! But I don't usually talk about this. It's too morbid

what is ur theory?

I have several theories about A Series of Unfortunate Events. The main one is The Great Hiatus, which is a theory involving the chronology of book publication. Asoue was published over many years in the asoue universe itself. Many years passed between the publication of TWW and TAA. This detail means that several consequent theories can be formed. These other theories are also mine.

Obrigado, @sianitha-snicket, e a todos que colaboraram com meus 500 reblogues!

"The TSS secret letter explained" theory

So, after many years, I can finally face my greatest nemesis again. The TSS secret letter. I think it is very appropriate to talk about it again here. There were many theories, and there were many discussions. And I think I found the best way to explain it. Let me copy the letter in full.

"My dear sister, I am taking a great risk in hiding a letter to you inside one of my books, but I am certain that even the most melancholy and well-read people in the world have found my account of the lives of the three Baudelaire children even more wretched than I had promised, and so this book will stay on the shelves of libraries, utterly ignored, waiting for you to open it and find this message. As an additional precaution, I placed a warning that the rest of this chapter contains a description of the Baudelaires’ miserable journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion, so anyone who has the courage to read such a description is probably brave enough to read my letter to you. I have at last learned the whereabouts of the evidence that will exonerate me, a phrase which here means “prove to the authorities that it is Count Olaf, and not me, who has started so many fires.” Your suggestion, so many years ago at that picnic, that a tea set would be a handy place to hide anything important and small in the event of a dark day, has turned out to be correct. (Incidentally, your other picnic suggestion, that a simple combination of sliced mango, black beans, and chopped celery mixed with black pepper, lime juice, and olive oil would make a delicious chilled salad also turned out to be correct.) I am on my way now to the Valley of Four Drafts, in order to continue my research on the Baudelaire case. I hope also to retrieve the aforementioned evidence at last. It is too late to restore my happiness, of course, but at least I can clear my name. From the site of V.F.D. headquarters, I will head straight for the Hotel Denouement. I should arrive by—well, it wouldn’t be wise to type the date, but it should be easy for you to remember Beatrice’s birthday. Meet me at the hotel. Try to get us a room without ugly curtains. With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

P.S. If you substitute the chopped celery with hearts of palm, it is equally delicious."

Note again it:

1 - "My dear sister, I am taking a great risk in hiding a letter to you inside one of my books, but I am certain that even the most melancholy and well-read people in the world have found my account of the lives of the three Baudelaire children even more wretched than I had promised, and so this book will stay on the shelves of libraries, utterly ignored, waiting for you to open it and find this message."

Considerations: When Lemony wrote this letter, Kit was already dead. And Lemony probably knew it. As I already explained, Lemony published all his books over many years, even though he started writing TBB during the main events described in Asoue, he only managed to publish TBB a few years later, and after that each book took time for research and preparation of the manuscript, and the period of time between the publication of TRR and TMM was particularly long, what I call a great hiatus. This great hiatus lasted for many years. So Kit was certainly already dead when this letter was written. Lemony was doing some event confirmation research as he had access to the Baudelaires' writings which is where he discovered events that only the Baudelaires could know about from private conversations to what happened in the caravan in TSS (which Lemony explicitly did not find to be able to deduce what happened inside). This whole concept is very important to asoue, and it is clear that this was the author's intention in several parts of the story. So instead of undoing an important component to the story (the fact that Lemony is researching the past from his point of view while writing asoue) it is more logical to believe that the true recipient of the letter is not Kit Snicket, but rather someone who assumed her identity. After all, just like Count Olaf, Kit died on a desert island with few witnesses and her death was simply not a fact known to the general public until then. 

It is significant that Lemony explicitly spent several weeks searching for the caravan. It is already evident that the moment of search for the caravan cannot be the same moment that the main events of asoue are unfolding. Some people say that this letter was written during the main events of Asoue, but in this excerpt Lemony explicitly quotes what he had just written. So he's writing the letter right after writing about the Baudelaires' climb to the VFD base. And he could only have written this after having written everything he had written before. Lemony also hopes that the book will be published and will go to bookstores so that her "sister" will eventually find the book and read the message. It wouldn't make sense for all of this to happen in the few days that pass between the main events described in TSS and the main events described in TPP.

The meeting at Hotel D must be in a Hotel rebuilt after many years. 

2 -  (Incidentally, your other picnic suggestion, that a simple combination of sliced mango, black beans, and chopped celery mixed with black pepper, lime juice, and olive oil would make a delicious chilled salad also turned out to be correct.) 

This description of the salad is the same salad that Beatrice made, according to Lemony's memories. Evidently, this is evidence that points to a friendship between Beatrice and the true recipient of the letter. Canonically there is no evidence that Kit Snicket and Beatrice Baudelaire were close friends. On the other hand, canonically there is evidence that Beatrice and R were close friends in LSTUA and TBB. In fact, there is evidence in LSTUA that R had disguised himself as a member of the Snicket family previously. So, the person most likely to be the true recipient is R, not Kit. After all (it cannot be repeated enough) when Lemony wrote this letter, Kit had already been dead for many years. In fact, as I have shown previously, Beatrice JR's search for Lemony Snicket took place before Lemony published TWW, since the young girl was in Lemony's office in the building where Lemony lived (with a description identical to what Lemony described in TWW) she didn't recognize what the shape of the paperweight was. If Lemony had already published TWW, it is extremely likely that Beatrice Jr would have already read it because she is like a fan of Lemony, explicitly claiming to have read books that Lemony had already published. This shows so much that when Lemony published TWW Beatrice Jr had already been born many years ago and evidently Kit had been dead for many years, and when he published TSS, Kit had been dead even longer.

3 - "I am on my way now to the Valley of Four Drafts, in order to continue my research on the Baudelaire case"

When Lemony wrote this letter, he explicitly stated that he had not yet reached the Valley of Four Drafts. Evidently he is referring to the fact that he is writing many years after Asoue's main story took place and confirming the events little by little. He couldn't have not reached the Valley of Four Drafts and at the same time described the Baudelaires' ascent to the VFD base. In fact, by writing TSS so many years have passed that Lemony knows that if the women with their faces painted white died when they came down from the mountainous region, the rest of them were just bones. And when writing the ending of TSS, Lemony explicitly states that he spent some time collecting bones and taking them to a specialist. Evidently, Lemony's research to be able to write TSS took a long time. Imagine how strange it would be to do all this in time to show up at Hotel D a few days later!

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The End

Thoughts on The End (Netflix), ‘This Be The Verse’ by Philip Larkin and unreliable parenting in ASOUE.

I’ve just finished watching the Netflix adaptation of ASOUE and have many thoughts! Mainly about Olaf, but also about the resolution to the series as a whole. My main realisation here is that Olaf really acts ‘in loco parentis’ to the children throughout the series, more than any other guardians, despite his failures.

In this final episode, the children and Olaf have lost everything. Fugitives and castaways, they have no choice but to tackle their questions head-on. Olaf finally talks to them on their level, not patronising them, but giving them some hard truths. There’s dialogue where Olaf chastises them for their naivety, e.g. ‘everyone dies, it’s only a matter of time. It’s all schemes and waiting for people to die.’ It’s as if they’ve finally realised how central Olaf’s cynical worldview is to his motivation in pursuing them.

There’s a piece of dialogue in Book 13 where Olaf promises (read: threatens) to tell the children things ‘they could never have imagined’. In the Netflix show, they give him this dialogue during the court scene in The Penultimate Peril instead, in a condensed form. But this is my favourite part in the books, because it gives depth to his character and the children suddenly realise that he’s the only one who will be truthful with them about their shared history. As he says in The Penultimate Peril, he’s always been honest about what he wanted — to destroy the Baudelaires and gain their fortune — and so that means he has more integrity than every single other so-called guardian they encountered.

Mainly, I wish they’d treated the final Kit/Olaf scene differently, with more physical acting and less CGI in the flooded coastal shelf, but the fact that he quotes poetry to her to comfort her before she gives birth (and perhaps even to comfort himself before he dies) is so tragic and bittersweet. He asks ‘what was it your brother said?’, before quoting the Philip Larkin poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. It’s a small but hugely significant moment that brings them together and is the one redemptive act he completes at the end of all things. [Side note, I always read this in the book as Larkin being one of their associates! (“You’re not the only one who can quote our associates,” Olaf says, but perhaps he was referring to one of the Snickets instead.)]

The poem itself has always been humorous but it takes on a new significance here [poem in italics, my notes following]:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. [read: the Baudelaire parents who brought their children into a world of treachery by inciting the incident with Olaf’s side of the schism]

They may not mean to, but they do. [inadvertently]

They fill you with the faults they had [their compassion and empathy, their resourcefulness, but also their secretiveness - all virtues that can become faults when used in the wrong measure]

And add some extra, just for you. [the children discover their own faults and limitations throughout the series.]

But they were fucked up in their turn [either by their parents, or by the VFD schism]

By fools in old-style hats and coats, [there’s always been a generational gap]

Who half the time were soppy-stern [nobody really knows how to parent consistently]

And half at one another's throats.[ditto]

Man hands on misery to man, [generational trauma]

It deepens like a coastal shelf. [I think Daniel Handler’s whole idea for this book sprang from this single line. Misery only compounds with experience]

Get out as early as you can, [did you notice the innuendo?]

And don’t have any kids yourself. [NPH’s delivery of this line from Olaf, as his last words, was splendid. The way he looks at the children - as if regretting taking them on as his project, realising that ultimately the hunt was futile, and that they’re the only real children he could really call his own - it’s a deeply-layered moment.]

When Olaf says that he’s lost everything (‘my one true love, my theatre troupe, an enormous fortune I didn’t earn’), he really just shows how aimless he is. Pursuing the Baudelaires gave him purpose and now that purpose has outlived him. 

I didn’t quite realise how conflicted the children would be when Olaf died, until I saw the actors physically recreate the scene so well. It’s as if, in a perverse way, he’s been their real guardian all along, he’s been the one ‘watching over’ them (for better or worse) throughout the entire narrative. It’s always been the thing that’s tied them together, a common purpose to get away from Olaf, but I don’t think any of them were actually prepared for his death and it feels like a loss. Particularly when they realise he could tell them the secrets about their family and VFD. 

I feel as though everything that happens in this episode is condensed into too short a time-frame, but I understand why it only fit into one episode rather than two like the rest of the stories. It doesn’t quite have the same narrative arc as the other episodes because it rounds off the entire series and there’s a lot of pressure for it to have felt satisfying. I also know that so many of us will have had different notions of what The End should look like, having read the book as children, but this seems to cover all the main points, if only not in depth.

There are so many more parts of the episode to unpack, from Kit’s arrival to the Medusoid Mycelium, the Herman Melville allusion in ‘Call me Ish’ (from one unreliable narrator to another); the Incredibly Deadly Viper, or Ink; and the Baudelaire’s parents’ brief foray on the island with the life-saving hybrid apples. But suffice to say that I’m so glad they used material from The Beatrice Letters to end the series and show Beatrice Baudelaire II (though she could so easily be Beatrice Baudelaire-Snicket-Denoument II) meeting her uncle for the first time. This redeems Lemony from his years of penance (perhaps his survivors’ guilt) and finally shows him that he’s not alone in the world any more, after losing so many people dear to him. For a resolution, that’s not bad at all, and to see it all in chronological order feels like the most satisfying way Netflix could have devised to tell the story while keeping faithful to the novels.

Chabo Chapter _/99

\99

I'm lost. Who am I? Where am I? When am I? A smell jolts my senses. A foul, nauseating scent. Ammonia and ether. I gaze down at my arms, touch my face. I’m an animal. Fur coats my flesh. The stench, the fur, it brings a name to mind.I am Chabo.Voices echo."Chabo! Wake up Chabo! Hold on Chabo!"It's Sunny Baudelaire. I remember. I orchestrated her birth. Daughter to Lemony Snicket. Daughter to Beatrice and Lemony Snicket. I made it happen. The Opera Ball. An unforgettable day.Why? Why her birth? To save humanity. I’ll save humanity, even if it means forsaking my own humanity.I am Chabo."Chabo! Can you hear me?"Yes, Sunny, I hear you. We’re on the right track, Sunny. Confirmation received. Can you hear me, Sunny? I’ll revisit this timeline through Kit Snicket. A reinforcement. A sign that I’ll realize this path in the future.First reinforcement. Exhaustion overwhelms me.I must focus. The operating system is everywhere. How long since I’ve eaten? Hunger gnaws at me. I crave red meat, rare. A plate appears. My paws grab the meat, morphing into fingers. I’m still human, partially. I bite down. Delicious.I know I’m being sustained intravenously. We’re in Queequeg. It all started with Queequeg. It all started with the sugar bowl. It all started with Kit Snicket. It all started, over and over. I’m tired. Can’t leave the machine.Must complete the mission before death. But I know I’ll reinforce at some point. So, I’ll live.Where was I in the mission? Ensure the death of Beatrice’s first child with Lemony. It was Kit. But it was me. It’s done.Now it’s Beatrice’s turn. I killed her. Killed Bertrand too. Didn’t want to. Bertrand was too clever.Now to disguise myself. But first, into Beatrice’s mind.Her brain unfolds before me. It’s pink. It’s large. It’s bleeding. It’s rotting. I despise Beatrice’s brain. The brain morphs into a golden sphere. I approach. As I penetrate Beatrice’s mind, reality fades. All is white. The air thickens. It’s her death. I must rewind.I crouch. My body rebels, reshaping is agony, bones snapping, flesh tearing. No longer fingers, but paws. A tail. Enhanced senses. I run.Smells morph into shapes. I hear time rewinding. Her thoughts invade, a painful melding. Her arms, legs, mouth, I feel them as mine.Her memories sharpen, carving into my consciousness alongside.I recall what I subjected her to, night after night.I'm sorry Beatrice. But humanity's tether to survival is knotted with your marital binds. I endeavored to sew love between you hastily, yet I faltered.Your union always crumbled to dust.I had to snuff the life out of your offspring with Lemony. Your first sonwould have been the wedge driving you apart once the truth of Lemony's existence surfaced.And then Violet and Klaus would remain whispers in the void.Humanity would crumble into oblivion.Humanity clings to the hope of Violet and Klaus' existence. Clings to your care for Sunny. Clings to your sham of a marriage.Clings to your destined ashes in a raging fire.I can't puppeteer your emotions, yet I orchestrate your actions with cold precision.I am the monster lurking in the shadows. I am Chabo.I rouse Beatrice. Hoist her feeble frame and usher her to the bags. A plethora of costumes lay within.Commands:- Toss garments onto the bed.- Select the pieces, meticulously, to compose the ship’s cook attire. The hairnet and mask are imperative.- Adorn yourself.- Take the jar of powdered death – peanuts.- Navigate to the kitchen's cold embrace.She commences her obedience to the eerie commands, each step a funeral march to the unknown.I am aware, every beat of my heart resonates with the grim reality. I will be the reaper on this ship, ushering most into death’s cold arms.But through this macabre dance, I shall salvage the ember of humanity's existence.

Chabo Chapter -4

-4

Bertrand wandered the hauntingly silent deck of the Esperanto, each creak of the ship echoing his desolation. Having left Beatrice in a restless slumber in their cabin, he took solace in the cold embrace of the night, the taste of an apple turning bitter as he gazed upon the dark, churning waters. They mirrored the tumultuous thoughts of his life and existence.

Two years, two long, agonizing years since their wedding. Since the tragic day Beatrice lost the child they so eagerly awaited. It had been a day cloaked in despair, the bleakest in Bertrand's memory. Their recovery was a path riddled with thorns, and Beatrice, in her sorrow, often hinted that a child of Lemony would have been a comforting echo of her lost love.

But that echo remained silent, for the child never saw the light of day.

And it was all Kit Snicket's doing, one of his greatest allies. After all, Kit was doing everything in her power to halt the proliferation of the fungus. Yes, saving the world took precedence over their marriage. But what Kit Snicket had whispered in his ear lingered in Bertrand's mind like a haunting refrain. Something about making him happy for 15 years. How could she make such a promise? And what was she even talking about?

Bertrand sank into a chair, fear clawing at his heart, and the specter of melancholy that had been his constant companion since their tragic loss seemed to close in. He shut his eyes tightly, seeking refuge from the overwhelming thoughts. Beatrice's idea to embark on this voyage weighed heavily on him, her choice a cruel irony, steering them toward the desolate shores of southern Argentina, into the foreboding realm of Tierra del Fuego.

Dagwood approached and settled into the lounge chair beside Bertrand. They had crossed paths before on the ship, their conversations revolving around the reminiscences of their bygone teenage days when they had teamed up to unravel mysteries in Stan'd by the Sea.

"Have you ever thought about how life could be different if we had made different choices, Bertrand?" Dagwood inquired, his voice carrying a hint of melancholy.

"Yes, of course," Bertrand replied, his eyes reflecting a sorrowful smile.

"What if you had chosen to date Violetta instead of persistently pursuing Beatrice?"

Bertrand's smile turned even sadder. It was indeed a thought-provoking question.

"Well, in that case, I don't believe she would have married you," he replied with a hint of resignation in his voice.

"I wouldn't have given up on her either," Dagwood concurred.

Dagwood was one of those peculiar friends for Bertrand – someone he rarely crossed paths with, but when they did, they could talk about anything. He was the perfect confidant, someone you could trust with your most embarrassing stories, knowing he would disappear from your life for long enough that you wouldn't feel embarrassed bumping into him by chance.

"How's your marriage with Violetta?" Bertrand inquired.

"We have our ups and downs. Being in VFD complicates things a bit... but we knew it would be this way. She's waiting for me at the next stop, the port of Ensenada... But what about you?"

Bertrand recounted the entire Hermedy of the wedding day. And how the baby died. Dagwood listened to the story and felt pity for his friend. He lightly touched his back and spent some time in silence, digesting all that.

"But, how are you two as a couple?" Dagwood asked, his curiosity piqued.

- "I really don't know... I can't define our relationship."

- "Just try to put it into words."

- "We barely talk at home. She has her own room. Every now and then, I hear her crying behind her bedroom door. I think the only joy she has is when she goes to the library to read, or when she is cooking. But, they are utterly lonely moments for her."

- "Oh Bertrand, I'm really sorry to hear that... the death of the baby and Lemony must have..."

- "But that's just part of the story... Is it normal, my friend, do women want... you know... every night?"

- "No, certainly not."

- "It's very strange, you know... She spends the day ignoring me... but then, she comes and... just does unimaginable things... and it's so good and so cold at the same time..."

- "What do you mean?"

- "Her heart is always locked away, my friend. It's driven me mad. I yelled at her once, one morning, about it. I cried, my friend. And I saw her cry. That day, I mistreated her on purpose. And still, at night, she took the initiative as if nothing had happened."

- "That's undoubtedly strange."

- "She always brings new fantasies, which she sews herself. I have more disguises for our nights than in our VFD disguise kit."

Dagwood laughed.

- "She probably wants to get pregnant again, Bertrand."

- "She is already pregnant..."

- "Seriously! Congratulations to you both! This should have been the first thing you told me! You are going to be a father!"

- "Dagwood, thank you... She's been pregnant for exactly 13 weeks and 3 days."

- "Oh my friend, with so much activity, I doubt you could be so precise..."

- "You don't understand. Every night Beatrice comes to my room and after our activity, she always heads back to her room. But one thing always remained: she was always extremely demanding and meticulous about using protection. So I'm sure of one thing: She didn't want to get pregnant. Except on that one mysterious night exactly 13 weeks and 3 days ago, where, on the contrary, she insisted we forgo the usual precaution. I asked 'why is this night different from the others?'

- "And what did she answer?"

- "For some reason, she smiled and said that was the fourth wrong question."

- "And what other questions did you ask?"

- "None. The fact is that we always did it the way she demanded, and the result was her pregnancy."

Dagwood seemed incredulous.

- "My friend, I think your wife loves you. This worry is just in your head. Don't try to guess what your wife feels when maybe she doesn't even know. After all, you're a nice guy."

- "It must be that... but something is wrong, I don't know what it is. Since the Hermedy at our wedding, I can't get out of my mind something Kit Snicket told me."

- "What was it?"

- "That she would give me 15 years of happiness. To compensate me. Probably Kit convinced Beatrice to have this behavior."

- "Don't think like that."

- "Only 13 years of happiness are left and I'm not feeling happy even now. Imagine when it ends."

Dagwood laughed.

- "Enjoy it, many of us men would like to have such an interesting wife, and we have to beg for a little activity every now and then."

Dagwood and Bertrand said goodbye. Bertrand returned to his room.

Beatrice had disappeared.

"The TSS secret letter explained" theory

So, after many years, I can finally face my greatest nemesis again. The TSS secret letter. I think it is very appropriate to talk about it again here. There were many theories, and there were many discussions. And I think I found the best way to explain it. Let me copy the letter in full.

"My dear sister, I am taking a great risk in hiding a letter to you inside one of my books, but I am certain that even the most melancholy and well-read people in the world have found my account of the lives of the three Baudelaire children even more wretched than I had promised, and so this book will stay on the shelves of libraries, utterly ignored, waiting for you to open it and find this message. As an additional precaution, I placed a warning that the rest of this chapter contains a description of the Baudelaires’ miserable journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion, so anyone who has the courage to read such a description is probably brave enough to read my letter to you. I have at last learned the whereabouts of the evidence that will exonerate me, a phrase which here means “prove to the authorities that it is Count Olaf, and not me, who has started so many fires.” Your suggestion, so many years ago at that picnic, that a tea set would be a handy place to hide anything important and small in the event of a dark day, has turned out to be correct. (Incidentally, your other picnic suggestion, that a simple combination of sliced mango, black beans, and chopped celery mixed with black pepper, lime juice, and olive oil would make a delicious chilled salad also turned out to be correct.) I am on my way now to the Valley of Four Drafts, in order to continue my research on the Baudelaire case. I hope also to retrieve the aforementioned evidence at last. It is too late to restore my happiness, of course, but at least I can clear my name. From the site of V.F.D. headquarters, I will head straight for the Hotel Denouement. I should arrive by—well, it wouldn’t be wise to type the date, but it should be easy for you to remember Beatrice’s birthday. Meet me at the hotel. Try to get us a room without ugly curtains. With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

P.S. If you substitute the chopped celery with hearts of palm, it is equally delicious."

Note again it:

1 - "My dear sister, I am taking a great risk in hiding a letter to you inside one of my books, but I am certain that even the most melancholy and well-read people in the world have found my account of the lives of the three Baudelaire children even more wretched than I had promised, and so this book will stay on the shelves of libraries, utterly ignored, waiting for you to open it and find this message."

Considerations: When Lemony wrote this letter, Kit was already dead. And Lemony probably knew it. As I already explained, Lemony published all his books over many years, even though he started writing TBB during the main events described in Asoue, he only managed to publish TBB a few years later, and after that each book took time for research and preparation of the manuscript, and the period of time between the publication of TRR and TMM was particularly long, what I call a great hiatus. This great hiatus lasted for many years. So Kit was certainly already dead when this letter was written. Lemony was doing some event confirmation research as he had access to the Baudelaires' writings which is where he discovered events that only the Baudelaires could know about from private conversations to what happened in the caravan in TSS (which Lemony explicitly did not find to be able to deduce what happened inside). This whole concept is very important to asoue, and it is clear that this was the author's intention in several parts of the story. So instead of undoing an important component to the story (the fact that Lemony is researching the past from his point of view while writing asoue) it is more logical to believe that the true recipient of the letter is not Kit Snicket, but rather someone who assumed her identity. After all, just like Count Olaf, Kit died on a desert island with few witnesses and her death was simply not a fact known to the general public until then. 

It is significant that Lemony explicitly spent several weeks searching for the caravan. It is already evident that the moment of search for the caravan cannot be the same moment that the main events of asoue are unfolding. Some people say that this letter was written during the main events of Asoue, but in this excerpt Lemony explicitly quotes what he had just written. So he's writing the letter right after writing about the Baudelaires' climb to the VFD base. And he could only have written this after having written everything he had written before. Lemony also hopes that the book will be published and will go to bookstores so that her "sister" will eventually find the book and read the message. It wouldn't make sense for all of this to happen in the few days that pass between the main events described in TSS and the main events described in TPP.

The meeting at Hotel D must be in a Hotel rebuilt after many years. 

2 -  (Incidentally, your other picnic suggestion, that a simple combination of sliced mango, black beans, and chopped celery mixed with black pepper, lime juice, and olive oil would make a delicious chilled salad also turned out to be correct.) 

This description of the salad is the same salad that Beatrice made, according to Lemony's memories. Evidently, this is evidence that points to a friendship between Beatrice and the true recipient of the letter. Canonically there is no evidence that Kit Snicket and Beatrice Baudelaire were close friends. On the other hand, canonically there is evidence that Beatrice and R were close friends in LSTUA and TBB. In fact, there is evidence in LSTUA that R had disguised himself as a member of the Snicket family previously. So, the person most likely to be the true recipient is R, not Kit. After all (it cannot be repeated enough) when Lemony wrote this letter, Kit had already been dead for many years. In fact, as I have shown previously, Beatrice JR's search for Lemony Snicket took place before Lemony published TWW, since the young girl was in Lemony's office in the building where Lemony lived (with a description identical to what Lemony described in TWW) she didn't recognize what the shape of the paperweight was. If Lemony had already published TWW, it is extremely likely that Beatrice Jr would have already read it because she is like a fan of Lemony, explicitly claiming to have read books that Lemony had already published. This shows so much that when Lemony published TWW Beatrice Jr had already been born many years ago and evidently Kit had been dead for many years, and when he published TSS, Kit had been dead even longer.

3 - "I am on my way now to the Valley of Four Drafts, in order to continue my research on the Baudelaire case"

When Lemony wrote this letter, he explicitly stated that he had not yet reached the Valley of Four Drafts. Evidently he is referring to the fact that he is writing many years after Asoue's main story took place and confirming the events little by little. He couldn't have not reached the Valley of Four Drafts and at the same time described the Baudelaires' ascent to the VFD base. In fact, by writing TSS so many years have passed that Lemony knows that if the women with their faces painted white died when they came down from the mountainous region, the rest of them were just bones. And when writing the ending of TSS, Lemony explicitly states that he spent some time collecting bones and taking them to a specialist. Evidently, Lemony's research to be able to write TSS took a long time. Imagine how strange it would be to do all this in time to show up at Hotel D a few days later!

do you think, in book canon, that beatrice really never loved bertrand romantically?

Oh, that's a really intriguing and intelligent question. I've already addressed this issue in a fanfic that I'm particularly proud of having written, and I'm addressing it again in another fanfic in progress. The answer is that canonically Beatrice learned to love Bertrand. He was an incredible father. Still, I'm sure Beatrice never completely forgot Lemony. But around Klaus' birth, I think she just accepted that she loved Bertrand too. Lemony was alive, and she knew it (according to the telegram found in TBL). And she didn't abandon her husband like Esmé did. She didn't come up with a plan to fake her own death and she didn't try to comfort Lemony. Despite this, I believe that at Opera Night she met Lemony, and there is evidence that this happened a few years after Klaus was born. So there is evidence that she loved them both: Lemony and Bertrand. Of course, it's always possible that she was just an excellent actress and faked her romantic love for Bertrand for the sake of the children. In My Silence Knot she basically swore eternal love to Lemony. But this in itself does not invalidate her love for Bertrand.

I really love your theories about Beatrice surviving the Baudelaire fire and Lemony being the biological father of all 3 Baudelaire siblings rather than just Violet. I never considered that interpretation of the events described in the story related to Lemony and Beatrice, but I think it's very interesting to think about, because I feel like it adds a lot of layers to Lemony's motivation for writing the books. What I want to ask is, why do you think Lemony never tried to reach out to the Baudelaires after he was finished writing the books (other than the fact that he lost track of where they were and that he might have had a reason to believe they died since their boat, The Beatrice, was destroyed)? I see it as his guilt for being partially responsible for what the Baudelaires had to go through and his decision that they would be better off not knowing that he was actually their father (maybe also a bit of guilt related to Bertrand?)

Great questions. I think it's important to highlight something about this in TBBRE. "Tomorrow afternoon, the semi-retired amateur geologist has promised to put me in touch with current members of the F.F.P. so I can determine if there is any truth to the rumor that Violet Baudelaire came into contact with them on her way to Briny Beach for the third time. Interested parties might turn to Book the Thirteenth, assuming I live to write such a book." Lemony actually looked for more information about the Baudelaires. He actually tried to follow their trail. Everything indicates that either he couldn't do it, or he thought it was better to pretend he couldn't do it. I would bet on the second case.

There is a picture of the boat Beatrice, which is apparently a "photograph" of where the boat sank. If it is a photograph, there is strong evidence of manipulation of the location to make it appear as if the Baudelaires had died.

Notice Violet's bow. What are the chances that this bow came out of her hair (note the bow is in a knot, so it was tied) and landed delicately in a barrel? Where did that barrel come from in the first place? Klaus' glasses: what are the chances that the glasses came off Claus's face and landed on a string? And finally, Sunny's kitchen appliance: why would it be tied with a rope? And what are the chances that this rope, on its own, made several turns around a piece of wood? Fourth evidence: seagulls: they are birds typical of regions close to the beach, not deep waters. For me, this scenario was set up to fake the death of the Baudelaires.

After that, in times another significant image:

Both images are on TBL posters. From what is written in TBL, I can guarantee that this cave is a hideout for Lemony. Note that Lemony Snicket found that scene, and took photographs of strange features and was studying them. He must have come to the same conclusion as me: the Baudelaires faked their own deaths. I think when he realized this, he stopped publishing the books. But that doesn't mean he actually gave up on finding them.

I am very proud of this joint theory, as this is one of the most difficult apparent contradictions to explain.

*Joint Theory 4: @unfortunatetheorist with @snicketstrange* :

Liar, Liar? Quag's on Fire? - (BCT & NCT)

We're back! This time, to discuss the apparent contradiction surrounding the Quagmire fire:

How did Duncan and Isadora get out of the Orphans Shack if their parents were already dead when they got there?

But perhaps, more importantly, When did the Quagmire fire occur?

Well, there are some key excerpts that further our understanding:

The letter to the editor found in TAA indicates that the Baudelaires stayed a half-term (half-semester) at Prufrock-Prep.

According to Nero, for a child to live in the good apartments of Prufrock-Prep, a signature from a parent or guardian would be required. It could not be Mr. Poe, who was in charge of their inheritance.

TAA - Chapter 3: "My sister and I went through the experience of a terrible fire, and we know what it's like. Did your father die in the fire?" "Our parents also died in a fire. It's horrible to miss your parents, isn't it?" "For a long time," Duncan confessed, "I was afraid of any kind of fire. I didn't even like to look at heaters or fireplaces." "Duncan and I had to live there for three terms because we needed a father or mother or a guardian to sign our authorization pass, and we had no one."

According to Quigley's account in TSS, the fire occurred after the events in TRR.

Brett Helquist's Letter to Lemony from Ch 11 of LSTUA:

Note: There was a Quagmire case that Lemony Snicket was accused of being involved in that PRECEDED the Baudelaire mansion fire. (Mr. Helquist arrived at the mansion while it was still on fire, and made the drawing that can be found in TBB).

Quigley's speech from Ch 8 of TSS:

You can verify that the Quagmire fire, according to Quigley, happened after the events described in TRR, that is, after the Baudelaire mansion was destroyed.

And all the main events described from TBB until Ch 13 of The End, take place within a MAXIMUM of 1 year. We know this because Violet and Klaus start the story at 14 and 12 years old, respectively, and have birthdays during the story: Klaus in TVV and Violet in TGG, and when they arrive on the island they are 15 and 13 years old respectively.

Actually, this is something the showrunners of the Netflix series picked up on - and SOLVED:

THEORY: The Quagmire parents faked their deaths. This means the children would've been sent to the Orphans' Shack before the revelation of Mr & Mrs Quagmire being alive allowed Isadora and Duncan to live in the apartment section of Prufrock Prep - they would've been alive to sign the necessary paperwork, and thus get out of the Shack. Then they died for REAL, meaning that the two triplets went back to Prufrock, but they STAYED at the dormitory because the papers had already been signed.

Netflix clears a lot of it up [hence 'BCT & NCT'], answering the questions we posed earlier:

Q: How did Duncan and Isadora get out of the Orphans Shack if their parents were already dead when they got there?

A: They were sent to the Orphans' Shack during the time when their parents' deaths were faked. The problem was that they didn't have someone to sign the paperwork. The Orphans' Shack is a temporary location until the parents can sign the paperwork. They only managed to get out of there, because their parents weren't really dead, and they signed the papers. When their parents actually died, they had already signed the papers.

Q: When did the Quagmire fire occur?

A: As Netflix states it, during the events of TMM.

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph & @snicketstrange,

Unfortunate Theorists/Snicketologists