#on those days. but the rep always goes to foresters! and i find that very very interesting.
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okay so this is a bit of a mess but imma try and write it anyways.
so- fantasy au where Kaito and Kokichi are brothers who go from town to town thieving, one day they end up in a town that claims to be tormented by a cursed being. This being they refer to as "Kage, the prince of Shadows" is a man in a dark cloak who lives in the forest area just outside of town, never speaks, and is always follwed around by one of three animals. they even had the misfortune of seeing Kage come into town to the dismay of the towns folks durning their second day there.
The stories about Kage claim he's a supernatural being born from shadows who curses those who cross him; his supposed powers include cursing anyone who looks him in the eye with misfortune for the rest of their lives, and using his animals to curse entier towns if he manages to get withing the town boarder with one. he has three animals, a wolf, crow, and snake; if he enters a town with the wolf it's said to bring famin, if he enters with the crow the town will have a money crisis, and entering with the snake will bring betrayal and backstabbing. To ward him off, every month the townsfolk set out offerings on the edge of town for him to take, and in turn he leaves them alone.
Kaito and Kokichi hear about this guy and get two very different ideas; Kaito- unsatisfyed with the life of a criminal- wants to try and become the town's hero and defeat Kage, Kokichi however wants to find Kage and use him as a destraction to pull of his greatest heist yet. Due to their vastly different ideas for the future, the two end up getting into an argument that causes them to simply ignore one another and go it alone this time.
Kokichi decides to sneek out that night, going to look for Kage to try and persuade him into helping him. He manages to find his house and plays himself off as a traveler who needs a place to stay, and will offer to go into town for him in trade for a bed to sleep in. it works and Kokichi's in, and in the process learns Kage's simply a name given to him by the townsfolk- his real name being Shuichi. Kokichi's plan here is to use the time staying with him to; 1- persuade him into helping, and 2- use the time in town to scout his target. he gets and added bonus when Shuichi gives him money to use in town and he decides to simply steal the goods he's sent for so he can pocket the money for himself.
while there he learns Shuichi actually is just an alchemist who lives on the edge of town, and all the weird curse stuff the town came up with was simply paranoia spiraling way out of control because they didn't like that he was a quiet loner who didn't like making eye contact. any curse effects were simply caused by the town people over reacting and accedentally causing their own fears to natrually occur (ex; famin curse paranoia makes them hog food, which in turn causes a food shortage). Shuichi doesn't like that it happens and wishes to change it, but is far too nervous to do anything worth while. as for the animals, those ar simply his emotioal support pets; Sherlock the wolf-dog, Wattson the snake, and Moriarty the Crow- he take one into town with him to calm his nerves.
Kokichi hearing all of this, and spending alot more time with Shuichi than he intended, starts to feel sympathy (and a phat crush) for him and lowkey wants to protect him and help him knock the bad rep. this desire grows stronger when one day Shuichi says he's going to town to collect their offerings for him because "if i don't go they'll panic more, i don't want to make them worse". Kokichi jumps to stop him because he knows Kaito is there waiting for him, and he doesn't want either to get hurt. Shuichi promises he can defend himself and goes anyways, Sherlock tagging along.
while all of this is happening Kaito is loosing his shit because; 1- he convinced the townsfolk to let him try and stop Kage a week ago and he lowkey is scared as shit to fight this freak, and 2- Kokichi went missing almost a month ago now and hasn't come back. Kaito knows he probably went to find Kage, but because he hasn't returned Kaito assumes the worst and is now set to try and both stop Kage and save his brother.
As you can probably guess shit hits the fan- but i'm not gonna keep writing this, this is where y'all go nuts. this has the potential to either be an amazing badass Shuichi moment, or an angsty mess- or both if you really wanna.
#danganronpa#ndrv3#danganronpa v3#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#kaito momota#au prompt#au idea#au#kai prompts#ouma momota brothers
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juniper and rocco's letter delivery daily quests always give reputation to the foresters herd, no matter which of the two is the sender, and never to the warriors herd. this indicates that the foresters are aware and supportive of juniper and rocco's relationship (whether or not the two horses mentioned are aware of this has yet to be decided), while the warriors either are not aware of it, disapprove of it, or are not aware of it because they would disapprove if they found out. in this essay, i will
#genuinely i find this very interesting! it feels like a deliberate choice on the devs' part too…#like it wouldve been easy to give rep to the warriors for delivering rocco's letters to juniper and have a different foresters daily quest#on those days. but the rep always goes to foresters! and i find that very very interesting.#sso#star stable#star stable online#junicco#i find that this ties in with the warriors' & foresters' view on the other tribes too.#foresters seem more friendly and accepting towards the other tribes while the warriors keep mostly to themselves#(for example alder and crabapple know each other well enough to go around jokingly teasing each other)#(but willow seems to have been forced to cut off contact ENTIRELY with the warriors by choosing another herd)
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What do you do when there’s not much to an AU? You make up your own stuff, ofc. And as is per usual when I make Character Designs, I make up a shit ton of lore too.
The ramblings under the cut, but what I’m really interested in, is what you guys think. Do you guys have any headcanons/ideas for this AU? Let me hear them!
Also, if you don’t wanna read on tumblr, here’s the Google Docs link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/151yshHxnb_--P6eMKkwkI2dee9xC_Llb/view?usp=sharing
Before I get into the characters’ roles, here’s some general facts and backstory of their town:
- Basically, it’s Undertale meets Harvest Moon / Stardew Valley. Well, kinda. I at least used that approach for coming up for the jobs for the characters. You know, how there’s always a general store, a doctor, a smithy, etc.
- The usual story of a HM game is that you come to a town that’s way past its glory days and you, as the player/farmer, help them get back to that. The “backstory” of the town is that that already kinda happened. I’ll get into it more in the character description, but basically when Asgore was still mayor, the town got really popular. Then yadda yadda, a certain tragedy happened, two kids died, and the town suddenly got very bad publicity. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, bad reputation being spread and also a lot of law stuff, cos, you know, supposed child murder ‘n all, so Asgore made the decision to shut off the town to ppl from outside. This was in the interest of most monsters living there, because as fun as it is to have a lot of people coming there, most just wanted to live a quiet life. Not everyone was happy with that though, so many moved away from town and some others are trying to get the town back on its feet. But more on that later.
On to the characters:
I’m just gonna start with the skelebros, cos it’s their fault in the first place I got so invested.
Basically, they are what the player is in hm/sdv. They just showed up one day, took over the abandoned farmhouse and began their life there. The two came to town way after it was “closed” and since then a new mayor has opened the possibility for new residents to move in. Their farm helps the economy of the town a lot and the mayor, like usually in hm games, is trying to use that to make the town more known again. The skelebros aren’t really working towards that goal however.
So, now a bit more detail on them individually.
Papyrus:
- The design is mostly based on what’s “canon” in this au.
- He works mostly on the fields and is in charge of the crops. Their fields aren’t spectacularly big, but still big enough to plant a few dozen rows of veggies.
- Paps also helps out a lot in town when he has the time. He helps Asgore with his plants, he goes fishing with Undyne, helps Toriel carry crates around and so on. This is inspired by the part-time job mechanic in HM ToT.
- Unbelievably, in this AU Pap is not an absolutely awful cook. Since he helps out at Muffet’s and Grillby’s a lot, they tend to show him some tricks to cooking. Even though Pap’s not a big fan of the greasy or overly sweet cooking those two do, he picks up a lot.
Sans:
- Again, design mostly based on the “canon” look. Maybe a bit more baggy.
- This is finally an AU this dude gets to rest. Since there are no resets and he doesn’t have to see his bro die again and again, for once in his life, he’s not a sad ball of depression. He’s just a chill and lazy dude that loves to make puns. Though, since he’s not too experienced with the feelings of loss, helplessness or grieving, he still tends to hide behind puns and fakes smiles if he does feel bad.
- Sans is in charge of the animals on the farm. Papyrus begrudgingly gave him that role since Pap’s loud demeanour and hectic movements usually scare the animals. Sans’ relaxed attitude draws the animals to him naturally and even if Pap mostly finds him sleep against a tree, in a stack of hay or on one of the sheep, the animals are always fed, healthy and relaxed, so Sans seems to be doing his job.
- Sans always has a small chic sit inside his hoodie or hat. Is it always the same one? Who knows, maybe.
- Sans also, somehow, can produce eggs out of thin air. Grab into his hoodie pocket, in his pants pocket, in his hat, in his slipper, there’s suddenly always an egg there. On good days he can even make butter or cheese appear.
Gaster:
- He’s literally just a scarecrow in this. Though, if you ask any of the bros why they designed their scarecrow that way, they won’t have an answer.
Frisk&Toriel:
- Frisk is mostly based on what I wore myself as a kid in summer. Just a loose shirt with a cappy. Toriel basically has her ut gown, just with an apron on top.
- Frisk just appeared outside the “magical” forest one day. Napstablook and his cousin found them and brought them to Toriel, who has been taking care of them since.
- Toriel runs the general store in town, but also often takes care of the few kids that still live there.
- Frisk usually helps out in Toriels store, plays with the other kids or sits around at Asgore’s. They’re notorious for nabbing small snacks, mostly from Asgore’s plants. You’ll always find them munching on something.
- Frisk was in town before the skelebros. Since they’d moved in, Frisk often went to spy on their farm. After a small incident with angry chicken, Frisk got to know the two better and now they see them as something between brothers and uncles.
- But Frisk honestly gets along with everyone. Just like in UT, they’ve not only been adopted by Toriel but literally everyone.
- Toriel and Asgore’s relationship is not as bad as in the main game, since, you know, Asgore didn’t kill literal children, but there’s still tension between them. Back when Asriel and Chara died and the whole thing with the bad rep for the town began, Toriel felt betrayed by Asgore focusing more on the town than giving their deceased kids the grieving they deserved. They’re not divorced, but Toriel still moved out and said needed space to think. Now that Frisk is in the picture though, the both of them are slowly coming to even ground and may even be able to talk things out and clear up the uncertainty of their decisions.
Asgore:
-Asgore has his UT Ending / Deltarune clothes, just with a gardener’s belt.
- He’s the previous mayor of the town, but after all the crap that happened, he stepped down from the position. Now he has his own little shop and sells seeds, saplings, homegrown veggies and fertilizer. So, basically what e.g. the Marimba Farm is in HM AP
- His main customer is Papyrus and they’re on friendly terms. Asgore is worried about how much and how hard Pap works, so he often gives him a discount.
- Since his family’s past tragedy, Asgore is kind of nervous around kids. So, when he first met Frisk, he hoped they’d not visit him too often. But to his chagrin, Frisk took an instant liking to him and spends a lot of time at his shop (and steals eats the fresh grown veggies). Now, he’s really grateful for that, because for one, he loves Frisk as dearly as he had his own children, and also because now the tension and mistrust between him and Toriel seem to grow smaller day by day.
Undyne&Alphys:
- I gave Undyne a pretty basic fisher’s outfit. Alphys basically has Elli from HM’s outfit, just a bit more doctory stuff added. She still has her canon lab coat too.
- In essence, Undyne and Alphys have 2 completely different jobs. Alphys is the resident doctor and Undyne runs the fish market.
Two things. Yes, I know Alphys is more a mechanic than a doctor, she fits the aesthetic though, so she’s the doc now. And no, Undyne being a fisherwoman is not cannibalism, think of it more as a shark hunting smaller fish.
- The reason I lump them together is because they act as the local “smithy”. Alphys is still really tech savvy in this (I mean, Mettaton is still part of this AU), so she takes on most problems with electronics and stuff. For Undyne, I didn’t want to lose her Royal Guard’s Captain image, so she’s really good at handling tools (and weapons, but Al doesn’t let her make them anymore). So basically, if there’s a broken tool, you can be sure that either Undyne or Alphys can fix it.
- As for relationships, those two are still an item. Alphys is still really shy and a shut-off, but since Undyne and Pap become best friends, she gets to know the skelebros better. She and Sans especially get along well, since most of the time Undyne and Papyrus are let loose, they sit back and talk about science-y stuff. (no, Sans doesn’t have a background in science but he’s still into sci-fi)
- Alphys has a bit of a strained relationship with both Asgore and Mettaton.
Back when Chara and Asriel died, it was because of “illness” (maybe poisoning?). Alphys feels awful because with her back then limited knowledge on medicine she couldn’t help the two. Asgore doesn’t hold anything against her but Alphys can’t help but feel guilty.
Alphys still built Mettaton’s body in this one. The two had a really big disagreement, because Mettaton hated the fact the town was going to close, and he couldn’t understand how Alphys could feel otherwise, even more so endorse the idea.
Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy/Mew Mew:
- Napsta and Dummy are pretty self-explanatory, they got straw hats. Mettaton’s outfit is a bit of a joke cos it’s a play on “work at the top and party at the bottom”. The tie has two different sides, one with the yellow red pattern, the other completely red. His “top part” is the business part, because when he’s on tv or in the mayors’ office, you don’t usually see his feet. The bottom is his party/dance part, cos his dancing/entertainment channels mostly feature his legs.
- Mettaton, still a robot, Napstablook and Mad Dummy are all still cousins in this AU.
- Originally, they all lived and worked at the Blook Farm, the Animal Farm of this AU. Mettaton, however, despised that simple live and after befriending Alphys and her building him a body, he left the Farm to pursue bigger things.
- Mettaton runs the local tv network. From weather to game shows, he does it all. He also runs the tailor shop in town that sells his designer clothes and merchandise. After Asgore stepped down, Mettaton also took over the role of town’s mayor and now works towards making the place more known again. Not everybody is happy with him doing that though.
- One of those people is the Mad Dummy. He can’t stand people anyways and he always claims that history would just repeat itself.
- Since the whole family is made of ghosts, they have different dummies and scarecrows they can use to take care of the animals. To mock Mettaton and kinda get back at Alphys for giving MTT such an opportunity, Mad Dummy found the blueprints for the Mew Mew robot and now modelled one of their scarecrows after it.
- Napstablook isn’t fond of taking over obejcts like his cousins do, so he mostly takes care of the snails. Somehow, he can interact with them even when incorporeal.
Muffet&Grillby:
- The two of them run the Inn together. Muffet cooks in the daytime and makes desserts, Grillby manages the bar in the evening.
- The two still can’t really stand each other but working together like this benefits them both because their rivalry just spurs them on more.
- Even though Grillby is a patient person, somehow Muffet is the only person who riles him up enough to retaliate. (Well, maybe except for Sans, he’s a strong second).
So, basically everything between those two is a challenge in some way. Even if Papyrus doesn’t notice, even his cooking lessons are a challenge for them.
- Even though they’re constantly bickering, after working together for so many years, there’s a strange level of respect and trust between them. Even if back when they first started this business, they’d pour salt into an already open wound, nowadays they’d know better and just take a step back from the other or even comfort the other (on very rare occasions only).
Asriel&Chara:
- They be dead. Kinda.
Some Characters that’d live in that town too but that I haven’t made designs for:
- Gerson is the original smithy of the town. He’d grown up in a family of smiths, but he’d always had an appreciation for the sea. That’s why, when the town became more deserted and Undyne had a good enough skill level as smith, he took up the Captains hat and now mostly spends his days out on sea. He also ferries people to places if they need him to. Oh, and just like in canon, Undyne learned most of her skills from him.
- Burgerpants is a poor dude Mettaton basically kidnapped when he was trying to get fame in the city. Now Burgerpants works wherever MTT needs him to, be that as cameraman for the tv shows, cashier in his tailor shop or his slave secretary in the mayor’s office.
- MK is Frisk’s best kid friend. MK’s parents are in charge of shipping the goods out of town and paying the individual people. MK’s the one that usually collects the goods at the end of the day.
- Other than that, there are only a few people in town. I’d imagine the older folks or the really young families stayed in town after it was closed. I think the librarby dude would still run the library. Some Snowdin residents like the stone family or the dogs also might still live there.
#undertale#au#farmtale#fanart#character design#lore#frisk#toriel#asgore#undyne#alphys#mettaton#gaster#sans#papyrus#muffet#grillby#napstablook#mad dummy#mad mew mew#asriel#flowey#chara#feels good to finally be able to tag them all
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SUBMISSION - Grammys performance symbolism, part two
So, with those reservations safely out of the way, and a warning to readers NOT to hurt themselves by getting their hopes up again …
What aspects of Taylor’s Grammy’s performance made me think there might be light at the end of the tunnel for Kaylor?
First, Taylor’s blue and gold performance dress. “Deep blue but you painted me golden” is a line from Dancing With Our Hands Tied, a song that is widely assumed to be about the night of Kissgate. It’s a song where Taylor talks about how miserable (“deep blue”) she was after the collapse of her relationship with Diana and her public reputation in 2013. She describes how her new lover, Karlie, brought her back to life and lit her up with the glow of a new, true love. She painted her golden. But then they were caught in an intimate moment at Kissgate, and Taylor panicked. Her fears and anxieties threatened to drown her, and though she and her new lover tried to dance through the catastrophe, they eventually came to realize they were doing so with their hands tied. They had no hope of swimming to the surface together and breaking free. They could only have done so if Taylor had stood firm and owned their love in the moment, instead of setting in motion the bearding contracts that would change everything. (This is what she means when she says that “if I could dance with you again”, she would “kiss” and “hold” her lover, instead of presumably backing away. If she could do the moment over, she would claim Karlie as her lover, and hold her hand for the world to see, through hell or high water.)
Though it’s a depressing motif in DWOHT, Taylor has, interestingly, returned to this imagery of a golden tie several times in other songs, painting it in a much more positive light. Most recently, the Willow music video explores this, visually representing the “single thread of gold that tied me to you” which Taylor sings about in Invisible String. Both IS and Willow are happy songs, which describe their lovers as being tied together by fate. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow,” Taylor sings in Willow. In DWOHT, the lovers followed each other to a place of deepest blue. The bottom of the ocean, under the waves, where they couldn’t breathe. In Willow they follow each other to freedom.
That freedom is represented in the Willow music video by the open cabin door the lovers step through at the end of the video. Taylor incorporates this door into the Willow section of her Grammy’s performance, performing first in the open doorway and then stepping through it to perform with her band out in the open.
But returning to the blue and gold dress. This is not only a very Karlie motif which keeps recurring in her art (often to postitve effect). It’s also a representation of Taylor finding happiness WITHIN the closet. It’s talking about how her partner’s love helps her to bear the depression being in the closet, and fearing exposure, causes her. The fact that Taylor chooses to wear this dress throughout her performance, with no costume changes, suggests a) she is still in the closet, and b) she is still with Karlie, and still considers her love to be such a lifeline.
If Toe was real and Taylor was happy with him, she could have chosen to wear an all-gold dress for the occasion. If Kaylor was over and she had decided to return to the closet, she could have communicated that by wearing all blue. If Kaylor was over and so far in the past she had moved on with someone new, there was no need to evoke the motif at all. She could simply have laid claim to another color, or worn another prairie type dress to fit the aesthetic. And yet, she didn’t. Why not, if not to communicate what I said above?
What else is worth considering, in Taylor’s medley? Well, there’s the cabin setting. Taylor and Karlie famously took a trip to Big Sur forest and stayed in a cabin together in 2014, where Karlie was the first person to hear 1989 in full. They took many photos on the trip, including one captioned with “on the way home” (a lyric from You Are In Love, which talks about hearing love in the silence) and one of the two of them looking up at a fallen tree. A VERY similar looking tree appears in the Cardigan music video, and the slanted, moss-covered roof Taylor opens the medley lying on also looks a lot like this tree. Again, curious that she would call back to this if she and Karlie have separated.
Moving on. Taylor opens the medley singing on the roof, looking straight up into the camera. When we pull back we see the stage around set to that of a starry night. Taylor is thus cast as the romantic, the star-gazer. She also calls back to another lyric Kaylors have previously tied to Karlie - “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush”. It’s been repeatedly tied to Karlie and Taylor’s attendance at the Victoria Secret show after-party. Again, why evoke imagery so tied to the early, happy days of this relationship?
We then move through a progression of events that sees her hiding inside with friends, before eventually stepping out into the light. That all reads like a visual interpretation of her relationship with Karlie, from her early loneliness and lovestruck dreaming, to the happiness she finds within her little hideaway, to her eventual decision to step out of it and claim her lover. The medley ends on a repetition of “that’s my man”, seemingly hinting that Taylor’s freedom is tied up in her ability to finally say those words.
What else? Well, there are the Ivy allusions. Taylor’s cabin covered in greenery can’t help but evoke the lyrics of Ivy - “my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you”. Ivy is widely interpreted as a sapphic song about two women finding love despite their commitments to men. Another line in the song “he’s in the room, your opal eyes are all I wish to see, he wants what’s only yours” is alluded to in Taylor’s choice of opal jewelry on the night. What a weird thing to draw attention to, if you’re not secretly in love with a woman while parading a beard around in public. We’re also told in the song that “he” (possibly the same man, possibly another) wants to burn the house of the Ivy lovers down. Jerk just so happened to announce the baby’s birth on this night, in what felt like an attempt to undermine Taylor’s joy. Hmm. Curious.
You know what else is curious? Taylor’s choice of outfit for the Grammys red carpet. Not only is the floral dress very reminiscent of a floral ensemble Karlie wore to cover a June (pride month) issue of Spanish Vogue. (Cover subtitled, “flowers of change”.) It’s also by the designer Oscar de la Renta. Taylor and Karlie famously attended one of his shows together early on in their relationship. They sat in the front row looking very cozy, while Taylor refused to answer questions about why she was there and reportedly giggled “my publicist will be mad at me”. Hmm.
Taylor has also worn Oscar de la Renta on numerous occasions while out with Karlie, including most famously at the Met Gala. That iconic pale pink gown that she was buried in the Look What You Made Me Do music video? That was an Oscar de la Renta. There are many interpretations of the scene in the video, but it’s worth noting that Taylor is buried alive in it (which could be interpreted as a metaphor for being closeted) and that in a video all about her various revenge fantasies, she depicts herself crawling back up out of this grave. She views coming back to life and walking away from the flaming wreckage of her past with Big Machine as the ultimate revenge. At the end of the video she clips her own wings while all the past iterations of her argue amongst themselves. This would seem to suggest that she can defeat her enemies but she can’t defeat herself, because she can’t outrun her past, and until then she will always be doomed to self-sabotage. Nevertheless, this Taylor (lurking in the background bedecked in peaced-out palm tree print) is in a much better position than the Taylor who opened the video as a zombie corpse. She’s on the surface and has some hope of freedome, at last. This is a theme we see carried through in the following video, where Taylor goes one-on-one against herself and eventually breaks free.
Long story short? Taylor wearing such a floral, literally blooming dress from THIS designer, of all people, suggests she may finally be about to rise again. The aborted coming out apparently planned for the Lover era (and thus seeded during the Rep era) may finally be a go?
Again, I’m very reluctant to get people’s hopes up here. But it’s hard to look at this dress and not think of that June (Pride month) floral magazine cover. Or of the Spade riddle, “Why worry? She blooms in June.” Or of the fact that Taylor’s stunts are often loudest before the end. She acknowledged Calvin and hugged him at an awards show before he was booted out of the narrative and Tom H appeared to replace him. (Something like ten days or so after the “split”, if I remember right?) And the inconsistencies of the Toe timeline speak for themselves. There was speculation - unpopular though it was - among Kaylors in the Rep era that guessed Taylor wouldn’t come out until 2021 / 2022. It seemed a world away at the time but who knows? Maybe this was always the plan. Maybe this is all “part of the fucking story”, even the parts that seem ugly or counterproductive. A lot can change in a couple of months in Hollywood, and with Taylor in particular. By June, it’s possible we COULD be looking at a vastly different landscape. Maybe this was one last hurrah for the Toes. Many of them are just harmless fans taking Taylor at her word, after all.
Only time will tell, and I don’t blame Kaylors for checking out. This isn’t healthy, especially for those of us who are gay ourselves, and can’t help but feel a personal connection to Taylor’s journey out of the closet. We know what a big deal it would be. But for those who still want to hope … It’s just possible Taylor has a plan, and this is the dark night before the dawn.
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Pro: I added the photos and the bolded parts. Love symbolism. This was truly a spectacular performance. Awesome submission anon!!
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LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | A CAMP NANO 2021 (RE)-INTRO
CONTENT WARNINGS: death of a parent, classism, anti-autistic ableism, mental illness, trauma, light adult content (nothing explicit)
Genre: literary fiction, contemporary, new adult, ?????, who knows :)
POV: third person present, split POV
Setting: Sheffield, UK. 2020 but i am simply pretending there is no pandemic
Camp Nano Goal: 15,000
Deals With: parental trauma, death, sexuality + gender identity, anti-autistic ableism, classism, complicated family dynamics, the “help i’m in my last year of university and i don’t know what i’m fucking doing or who i am” mood, chloe talks shit about the uk + uk gov for ~80k words straight
The Vibes: rainy days, empty streets at night, libraries at 3am, house parties you shouldn’t be at, misty mornings, highlighter stains, cheap alcohol, city skylines, countryside views, going to big tesco/aldi just to feel something :(
Summary: Thomas’ father died over summer and he doesn’t know how to tell his housemates. Instead, he hides in the IC library or the Botanical Gardens or West Street clubs and decides that he is a blank canvas, and that his trauma can stay with his family in Rotterdam. (it’s not that easy)
Kristen likes to pretend that Uni will last forever. He likes to pretend a lot of things: that nobody will look at him differently when they learn he’s autistic, that people will understand his relationship with gender, that his family isn’t hiding secrets from him about his mother. (it’s not that easy)
Junie thought coming out would come with all the answers. But she only has new questions: what does “lesbian” mean for her? Who is she beyond that? How does she find her place in amongst people who experience the world so differently to her? (it’s not that easy)
Literal Logline: girl help i am still attached to OCs i made in 2013-2016
So if you’ve been following me a while (I say as my blog is only seven months old), you may remember a little wip I introduced here named Patchwork, a new adult novel that dealt with the messy experience that is trying to figure out what it means to be an adult when you’re plunged into the fast-paced adult world of university. That story has always been very close to my heart but it was difficult to progress on because:
I was working on it whilst going through ~the worst time of my life at university~. My second year was already awful before the pandemic started, and the pandemic just made it worse, and since this story is so inherently connected to my own experiences at university I couldn’t work on it whilst dealing with all of that. I’m currently taking the year off until things calm down and I think it’s the perfect chance to sit back and reflect on those experiences, and I think writing this novel would help
I simply was not ready for it! Drafting Revelations, Revelations has really refreshed my perception on novels because it’s taught me that I suit slow-paced, plot-light, discovery written novels the best and the original plan for this novel was way too plot heavy because I thought that’s what I had to do. But it’s not!
But! Whilst this novel and myself needed a lot of growth before I could think about drafting it, I’m at a point where I do feel ready to return to it. I think drafting Revelations, Revelations especially has given me the confidence I needed because I! Really tried to hard to give a heavy plot to this novel initially and I’ve since realised that I work best with slower novels that are really just a snapshot of people’s lives and their emotional growth. I also am at a point where, whilst I know not being there is the best thing right now, I miss University so so so much and I miss pre-pandemic University like I miss lecture halls and cafes and house parties and library all nighters so much it’s unreal!! This novel is practically a love letter to the year I lost as well as calling out the absolutely awful way the UK government has treated University students both before and during this pandemic. I was actually originally going to set this in the pandemic, because I think there are so many conversations that need to be had about the handling of it in this country but I also don’t think I am Ready for that (and I really just want my characters to be able to go outside lol). I think Camp Nano is the perfect kickstart to actually work on this novel because I now know just need to start writing rather than worry about ~plot~ - my plan is to just pants the fuck out of 15000 words and see where the story goes! I probably won’t return to it until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, but I appreciate the chance to get a head start + a little break from RR that I think will be needed by April
The biggest and most important change going into this however is: all three protagonists are autistic! I see a lot of posts about how to write autistic characters on here, but I think I’ve only seen one or two stories that actually had an autistic protagonist (if you have a contemporary and/or literary wip with one please please tag me in it! I really want more autistic rep and I want autistic rep from non autistic people too) and, as an autistic, I decided that I Will Simply Create It. All three characters have their own unique relationship with their autism and I am super excited to have a story that can explicitly navigate that whilst it’s not all the story is about, it is an important element as it shapes how our narrators see the world. And whilst there is anti-autistic sentiment they have to deal with, it’s not at the centre of their narratives or autistic stories. They are just autistic and existing and that’s not always easy but it’s ultimately what makes them who they are and they wouldn’t change it for the world. Being autistic is a wonderful thing! I love being autistic! I also would love to talk more about autistic rep on here (unfortunately relevant thanks to a certain movie): my biggest frustration is that it is SO clear that mainstream autistic rep is not actually for us. It perpetuates harmful ideas and only serves as inspiration porn for neurotypicals. They frame our condition on how it impacts others and don’t consult us or let us tell our own stories and pretend we’re all cis white verbal boys with bad social skills. I am only one autistic person, and I cannot write for everyone in the community (please make sure you are listening to and supporting all sorts of autistic people!), but I hope that telling a story influenced by my own will not only help myself but others - and maybe help out any of you that aren’t autistic and are looking to write autistic rep.
The main characters haven’t changed much, but a little re-intro :)
Thomas
studies psychology
bisexual disaster
panic attack! in the library cafe
wannabe plant dad (one of them is named monty :) will monty survive?)
looks like he’d invite you to watch pulp fiction in his dorm but he’s probably never seen it and his favourite movie is probably like. ratatouille
taking italian classes to cope
Junie
studies psychology
16 year old chloe made a pretty girl oc and was like hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me and here we are
bakes to cope
the BEST fashion
lets go on an adventure :) -screams in the forest-
she’s done your birth chart and she is NOT happy
Kristen
studies english and music
the way i literally can’t let go of this bastard and it’s been 8 years
former emo kid who never really got over it
BEST party playlists
often found in the kitchen at 4am making cinnamon rolls
unsupervised access to the internet as a child
i have no taglist for this, but like with NaNoWriMo, i’ll likely do a dedicated taglist for Camp Nano updates and we’ll see where it goes from there! As I said I likely will take a long break from this story after April until I finish drafting Revelations, Revelations, so the taglist will just be for Camp Nano, but I’m excited to spend a month getting to know it and sharing that with y’all so if you’d like to me on a taglist for this, let me know! <3
#i promise my next novel wont be third person present split pov but it is <3 so good <3#wip intro#amwriting#writeblr#atlastracking#LCOMS#once again i am making a post at 5am and i am also autistic so ignore typos pls <3
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a random assortment of open verse headcanons for akaza , douma , gyuutaro ( npc daki included ) , muzan kibutsuji , rui & new muse enmu .
because i have muses from the manga involved in these headcanons , be weary of the ones you aren’t familiar with as they do spoil a lil bit of season 2 ( specifically for gyuutaro & douma ) , but not that much . if you do not mind spoilers for demon slayer , you may proceed with no caution !
general info :
considering the timeline of demon slayer ( taisho era : 1912 - 1926 ) , i’ll be adding an extra hundred years to their chronological age to keep their origins as close to canon as possible .
missing person ? 9/10 times a demon ate them !
though the majority of the hc’s are carefree & light hearted — due to the nature of the series , general discussion of violence , mentions of manipulation & cannibalism will be present .
akaza
attending night school & taking some classes online , akaza recently started high school again as a student in his final year ( has done this around the 80s under a different alias & appearance ) . he is known for skipping classes & starting fights with other students . he has a jotaro kujo type of rep at his school .
he doesn’t really care about school all the much — mostly attending to play some kind of role in modern day society .
on the topic of fights , he often looks for them in the night life areas of the city — somewhere he can find a group of people to brutalize . he leads them to places where he can ( of course ) kill them without the possibility of prying eyes .
he has a soft spot for animals ! one rainy day , he found a stray cat & decided to take him in & raise a lil guy ! his name is hanabi .
he drives a motorcycle . what kind ? not sure yet !
on more than one occasion akaza beats the shit outta guys who stalk or harass women in many ways . this has led him to getting random gifts of gratitude when they find him again — stuff he REALLY doesn’t want to accept , but does to show show thanks .
really wants a hedgehog .
douma
he is still a cult leader in the modern day , but does other things on the side ! his cult looks a bit different than it did in the past . it’s recognized as a more of a spiritual group or collective revolving around self improvement , rather than a religious group or something .
he also plays the role of a swindler , sweet talking his way to riches & increasing his follower count .
aside from the fact that he HAS to be out at night , he really does enjoy the night life . the lights are exciting & the general atmosphere of people having a good time suits him .
enjoys going to a particular coffee shop on cloudy or rainy days , though he only goes there to sit in the lounge & not drink the coffee . buys sweets here & there then offers to pay the person behind him a treat too ( he’s really flirty with people ) .
for the past hundred years , douma has expanded on his collection of skulls from his victims . he has found an interest in morbid occult things , such as ; specimens ( animal skulls , animal organs , animal parts in general , bugs & other oddities ) , shrunken pygmy heads , taxidermies & other things of this nature .
he is extremely fascinated with other cultures & how they deal with dead bodies & has spent years researching about it . what is he looking at in those cafés ? possibly morbid shit ( he’s got a vpn ) ! because of this , he really wants to visit egypt to see a mummy .
kinda wants to attempt mummify someone or turn then into a taxidermy . maybe a doll .
gyuutaro & npc daki
going off of the lil extras that are provided at the end of each book , gyuutaro — like akaza , goes to night school & rides a motorcycle !
in japan , there are these services where you can pay to go out on a date with someone . daki does this instead of being a courtesan .
gyuutaro always stalks her while she goes on these dates so no one does anything that wasn’t agreed upon .
being the one who counts the money she earns , gyuutaro is really REALLY good at math . on that note , his organization skills when setting up an equation — PERFECT ! he’d be a perfect accountant !
on that note ... daki is sooo confused with that stuff . she’s not very good at math & would ask for his help but it would always end in a shouting match .
gyuutaro wears a mask to cover his face whenever he leaves the house in his human form . this is mostly to cover his face because he’s insecure about his appearance .
when paying for something gyuutaro has to build up the courage before he approaches the cashier .
muzan kibutsuji
muzan still out here living multiple lives ! one of which , a young gothic lolita who was adopted by a socialite family .
muzan is one of the few demons who leave while it’s a partly cloudy day . he uses a cute goth lolita parasol to reflect the sun !!
this persona , he goes by the name of keina ( last name wip ) & is considered to be a prodigy in replicating the art works of a famous pottery artist in the tiasho era ( this is reffering to gyokko who still makes pots for muazn to take credit for under the guise of keina )
in the persona muzan has when he is a young man he is the owner of a museum .
rui
rui is one of the demons that hasn’t really adapted to modern society . while he knows about cellphones , the internet & all that — he doesn’t really care to move to the city .
his presence & house in the forest is recognized as a famous urban legend on the internet : one about people who get killed by the ghosts that haunt the area . the general public believe that people just go missing or presumably get killed by wild life or eventually succumb to the elements .
while he doesn’t go into the nearby town too often , he does just to wander on occasion & doesn’t mind being spotted by people ( they often run from him thinking he’s a ghost ) .
enmu
enmu still works as a hypnotherapist who eventually tortures & eats his patients but he also finds his victims at places like train stations ( a place he likes to be for some reason ) .
enmu has a fascination for trains & you bet he collects train models . big big fan of those lil models .
he loves watching disturbing movies . while he is very chill about most things , this is possibly one of the few things he can get serious about . yes , knowing that the things that are happening in the movies are fake , but a movie with good acting that appears believable — he absolutely loves . what he loves more is showing the average person to watch their disgusted reactions .
& yes , he likes disturbing movies but there are some he does view as trash because is wasn’t good in his eyes . A Serbian Film would fall under this category for him .
this is him — THIS POST IS ENMU !!
he was a theatre kid . he likes musicals a TON !
has a pet spider , mostly to disturb certain guests . even inciting the most subtle disturbing feeling in someone is ecstasy for him . it’s like playing mind games with them , the way he treats every interaction .
he actually has obsessions with idols & collects albums , posters & the like of his favs . if he could , he would turn his favorite idols into demons & have them serve him ( kinda like rui’s situation with his family — though enmu would be far more cruel & subject them to more torture ) .
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White Hibernation
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Word Count: 31k...lol
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Extreme Slow Burn, Fantasy
Summary: The tale of the Winter Bear is about a grizzly bear that’s the only bear in the entire world who doesn’t hibernate during winter. He’s considered strong for being able to fight sleep. However, being the only bear awake during winter gets lonely. So during every winter, he makes friends with children and takes their soul to be with him forever. And somewhere down the line, you get involved into the fable.
“Are you fucking kidding me, (Y/N)?!”
Your agent, Lee Suniya, screams from the top of her lungs on the other side of the call. You keep your phone at a safe distance from your ears. You sigh exasperatedly, standing in the center of the living of your cramped, one-bedroom apartment.
Despite Suniya’s aggressive scolding, you only focus on your apartment. It’s early in the morning, never realizing how blue your apartment is. It isn’t necessarily a bold blue, more so a faint blue, naturally peeking through your blinds due to the sunrise barely at its peak. All of your furniture—couch, coffee table, vase, lamp—is white, so it only makes the baby blue stand out more.
Maybe I should change my place up a little, you think to yourself.
However, your plans for redecorating your place are disrupted by the continuous rampage coming from Suniya. Her anger only worsens your annoyance toward her. “Did you not hear a single thing I said?! Is your head empty??”
“No, can you repeat everything?”
Suniya groans frustratedly then goes silent for a few seconds before returning. “Never mind. Did you at least look online?”
Your eyes move down to your laptop that’s sitting by the edge of the white, pristine coffee table. It’s on, and it’s an article called: ‘Winter Bear’: Profiting off of a Child’s Innocence. Underneath the title is the author, (Y/N), (L/N).
“Yea, just a few minutes ago.”
“So. You knew not to write that. But why did you go ahead and do it anyway?” Suniya tries very hard not to grind her teeth, but you can clearly hear it.
You take a seat on the couch right across from your laptop. You set your phone down, putting it on speaker as you scroll through the multitudes of angry comments. There are some that catch your eye, such as ‘How could you write garbage about my daughter’s favorite movie?’, ‘You didn’t even watch the movie so your opinion is fucking pointless without proper research’, and another one being, ‘Go die in a shithole, you fucking mood-killer’.
You’ve always heard about internet figures getting a lot of online flak these days, but your article exploded out of nowhere that you haven’t gotten the time to process the negative comments. Even your email is spammed with anonymous accounts calling you degrading terms.
But another reason why it doesn’t impact you as much as it should is because it was somewhat expected. Winter Bear is a beloved, rated-PG movie that people of all ages should enjoy, but your article made it very apparent that you detest it.
“Yea, I knew not to write it, but what’s the point of me making it my career as a writer when I can’t even share my own opinions?”
“You—” But before your agent can lash out any further, she catches herself. “You’re not a writer, you’re a journalist. Writers create from inspiration, journalists rephrase what they see. Are you seriously trying to give the publication a bad rep?”
“You’re not getting the point of the article. No one is. It’s a cash-grabbing movie using a dangerous folklore—”
“I get it, I get it. But where I’m coming from is that the publishing company has no time to be dealing with a bad image at this moment. They were just getting recognized, and you just had to blow it off like that.”
“That wasn’t my intention. Look, why are people even getting pissed off over one person’s opinion? They don’t have to read my shit if they don’t want to and go enjoy their half-assed children’s movie.”
It’s at this point where Suniya has completely given up on arguing with you. Both you and Suniya are stubborn to the core, and this is how you two clash often.
“It isn’t just about a bad public image for the company, but for you. You’ll have a hard time signing deals and publishing more articles.”
That comment was like a prick to your skin. There was something about that that ticked you off, more than what the internet is saying about you.
“What the hell is wrong with me sharing my thoughts? If these faceless assholes are allowed to leave comments on my article, then I can say and do whatever too!”
“(Y/N), calm down! Why are you getting upset?! Listen to me when I say this: I know where you’re coming from. I know that movie is a sensitive topic for you, but that still doesn’t mean that you should—”
“Don’t bring it up.”
The line goes silent for a while before she returns. “Alright, fine. On the bright side, this seems like a short-term consequence, so the most we can do is wait for this to die down. I gotta go, I’ll call you later.”
She hangs up, and you get the urge to throw your phone across the room. However, you don’t have the kind of money to break your phone and get a new one, so instead, you throw it against the couch pillow. It’s irritating when nobody understands you. If the general public weren’t sheeples, then it would be easier for you to explain your side. Not even Suniya truly knows where you’re coming from.
You go back to your laptop, your article receiving new comments by the second. You want to respond to them and tell them to go to hell. There are more controversial topics out there in the world, so why go to your article and attack you? You’ve already caused enough trouble for your agent, so it’s better to leave it alone.
You lay down on your couch when a sudden chill runs up your spine. You check the temperature on your phone, and it’s been getting colder lately with winter getting closer. What sort of first-world struggles are those angry commentators going through to give them the right to downgrade you?
Regret begins to play with your head, suggesting that you should call Suniya back and apologize to her for exploding. You turn on your phone, seeing four contacts on your phone: your parents, Suniya, and your publication site’s office number. You press on Suniya’s number, letting the line ring before directing to voicemail.
With a sigh of disappointment, you get off of the couch with that feeling of regret going to eat you up for the rest of the day. You try to forget about it, pushing your mind to think about something else than to focus heavily on it. You repeat to yourself over and over that you need to eat breakfast.
You look through the fridge that’s filled with only microwavable food, some vegetables, soda, and that one vegan mandarin chicken pack that you promised to eat when you were still dieting. On the bottom shelf is leftover pizza from last night. You close the fridge then rummage through the white-painted cabinets. You hand maneuvers around the canned corn and beans, packaged dry pad-thai noodles, and shoving the Maruchan cup noodles away. You grab the rainbow, fruit-flavored cereal box, opening the top to check if there’s still some. You pop one into your mouth to check if it’s still in edible condition. Although a bit stale, you can eat it.
You couldn’t decide whether or not you wanted to eat leftover dinner or cereal for breakfast, so you ended up picking both. Rushing back to the fridge, you take out a slice of cold pizza and the half-gallon of milk, putting the pizza on a plate and into the microwave. It’s not the healthiest meal, but you’re not in the mood to be thinking about your weight.
As it warms up, you grab the remote from the living room, turning on the TV. You skip through channels with the press of a button until you get to a decent enough channel that’s playing a rerun of a sitcom show. It’s about a group of poor college graduates struggling to live in New York.
Your attention is taken away by your microwave beeping when it’s done reheating your pizza. You poke the pizza to make sure that the cheese has melted, then you take a bite of it. It doesn’t taste as fresh as when you first got it, but it still tastes savory.
“This...is...awesome!” A child’s voice shouts from the TV.
Dramatic drums and high-pitched violins play after the show goes on a commercial break. You turn around to see a trailer of a kids’ movie.
“Who...are you?” the child continues.
Each scene of the trailers lasts for a few seconds to keep the viewers’ short attention span engaged. On the screen is a young child who seems to be around eight or nine years old in a snowy forest. The child is on its knees, face-to-face with a shadowy monster before displaying itself as a fun, lovable grizzly bear licking the child’s face.
“I have to return home. Can you help me?”
“Come with us...on an epic journey,” A narrator voices over. “Filled with fun...”
The child and bear jump over rocks as they laugh.
“Adventure…”
The pair find an entirely undiscovered part of the forest, though it’s just a more expanded version of the same setting that it takes place in, just brighter lighting and more sunlight.
“And friendship.”
The next scene is when the child and the bear are cuddling together late at night to keep each other warm from the freezing temperature.
“Bears are supposed to be sleeping during winter, but you’re not,” the child ponders. “But...I’m glad that you’re awake. I don’t feel so lonely anymore.”
“Critics say ‘it’s tender’...‘entertaining’...‘everything my child has always wanted in a movie’.” The narrator continues as five yellow stars would be slapped onto a frame of an overview of the forest. “Winter Bear. Coming soon on December 20th.”
The next thing you know, you throw the pizza at the screen out of impulsive anger. The tomato sauce splatters all over the carpet, TV, and some on the coffee table. It instantly slips off the TV, landing and staining the carpet more. It felt good at that moment to lash out on the movie trailer, but not anymore after seeing the mess that you created. But once rational thinking sets in, you’re frustrated with yourself for what you’ve done. You hurriedly look for wipes then run to the TV to clean it.
As you wipe with tenacity, some uninvited memories seep in. You go back to when you were a child, holding the hand of a child whose face you can’t see, or at least, don’t want to see. The environment that surrounds you is a white forest, silence freezing every noise possible, just you and the person standing side-by-side.
You rest your forehead on the sauce-stained TV, sighing heavily as you try to forget what happened long ago. You turn to the fallen pizza, glaring at it with disdain as the red, bloody sauce soaks into what was once a white carpet that blended into the blue morning.
“He doesn’t help kids...he steals them.”
———
“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), you really need to start eating healthier food. Look at your stomach, I’m beginning to see a muffin top.” Suniya jokes as she playfully hits your stomach with a pepperoni sausage.
Suniya is walking ahead of you as you push the shopping cart. She decided to tag along with you to go grocery shopping, implying that this get-together is to make up for the argument that unfolded days prior to this.
“I would eat better if the healthier options were cheaper and tasted better.”
“Hey, there are healthy foods that are cheap too, you know. You just choose not to eat it. Plus, you’re not a kid anymore. Suck it up and eat gross shit for the sake of being in shape,” This is ironic coming from Suniya, since she isn’t in the best shape either. “Maybe you should get a gym membership and start working out. Who knows, maybe you’ll start attracting people.”
“Mm-hmm,” You faintly listen to her as you’re trying to decide on which graham cracker brand you want to buy. “Oh yea, which pizza brand do you think has the least amount of tomato sauce?”
Suniya sulks, a little annoyed that you aren’t listening to her, but this is typical for you to be like that with her. “I dunno. Figure it out yourself. Why?”
“Eh,” you shrug your shoulders. “The sauce is the messiest part of the pizza. Do you think I should start eating hot pockets?”
She raises an eyebrow at you. “I don’t fucking know. Pick both if it makes it easier.”
“No, but pizza is messy. I wanna know if hot pockets are not as messy with the sauce.”
“Why does it matter? Just use a napkin or don’t eat like a toddler!”
“...I’ll go with hot pockets.”
You push the cart ahead of Suniya as she stares at you with a look of disbelief. No matter how long you two have known each other, she will never understand how your brain is wired. She shakes her head, shrugging it off as one of your unusual habits again.
“By the way, your mother called me. She said you weren’t picking up the phone and she wanted to know if you’re doing alright.”
“I’m fine.”
“...Why don’t you just call her back and tell her that?”
“I have you to pass on my message.”
“You know…” her tone deepens. “Your mom wants to talk to you directly. She wants to know how you’re doing in your voice.”
“What difference will it make? She’ll just pretend that she’s worried about me but all she’s gonna do is yell at how I can’t take care of myself and I need a new job.”
She sighs. “But she’s still your mom. You can’t forget that she raised you.”
“I’ll call her later. I have some more articles to write and I don’t need the distraction.”
But she knew that you meant never, you just wanted to end the conversation. She looks through the aisles, clearly frustrated with your lack of keeping a conversation going.
“You know, you shouldn’t worry about work so much.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s all you ever think about. Don’t you have anything else that you’re passionate about? Like, I dunno, making friends, going out, finding a boyfriend?”
“Not really. I haven’t put much thought into any of those. They’re a waste of time and money.”
“(Y/N),” she puts her hand to her hips. “Your isolation is only going to drive you even more insane. You won’t have anyone to rely on, and you’re just going to be miserable.”
A vein protrudes from your forehead, but your expression remains stagnant. “But I have you, don’t I?”
She rolls her eyes. “You can’t just rely on me. I have a family to take care of. And you should also.”
Even though you behave as if you’re ignoring her, her words bleed into your brain. You know too well that you’re getting closer to the age of settling into a life of family-hood, but it isn’t Suniya who decides what you have to do with your life. Still, what she says makes your chest ache, the desire to deny her claims of your spiral to insanity, all the while being completely aware of her concerns.
Suniya’s phone rings, so she takes it out from her purse to see an unknown number on her screen. She accepts the call, putting it to her ear.
“Hello?”
A feminine voice can be heard from the other line. Other than a ‘hi’, you can’t make what she’s saying, and Suniya’s lack of expression doesn’t help either.
“Uhm...yes. She is with me.”
An eyebrow raises, your curiosity peaking. You stare at her, squinting your eyes. She does look at you, but she doesn’t say anything to fill in the blanks.
“Sure.”
She hands the phone to you. You’re confused, looking at the phone and wondering what to do with it. She nudges it to you, so you take it.
“Hello?”
“Hello? Is this (Y/N)?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“Hi, my name is Kim, and I’m calling because I read your article the other day.”
Assuming that this is an angry reader, you’re about to hang up the phone when Suniya raises her hands up, signaling for you not to. You silently sigh, putting the phone back to your ear.
“You did?”
“I did! And I absolutely loved it!”
“Oh, really?” But it takes a few seconds for you to let that sink in. “Wait, really??”
“Yes! I reread it hundreds of times, and everything you said accurately portrays exactly how I feel about the movie as well.”
You glance at Suniya, and she smiles, nodding to let you know that this isn’t a prank. You’re at a loss of words that there’s someone who genuinely enjoyed your article. No one’s ever reached out to give you compliments, so you don’t know what to say.
“Uhm, thank you.”
“It’s no big deal. I saw the feedback you received, and it seems like not a lot of people liked it. You see, I’m a mythologist. I study extensively on the Winter Bear folklore. Based on the information on your publication’s website, it doesn’t seem like you know anything about it, but you nailed every detail of the myth precisely.”
“...Yea.”
“What I wanted to talk about is that I would like you to help me with my research on the Winter Bear.”
You crease your eyebrows. “...Excuse me?”
“You see, even though I study myth, I have a strong feeling that this isn’t some mere local folklore. You seem to know a lot about it, and I would like to get to know you more. Perhaps even go to the town to investigate more about it.”
“No.” You’re about to hang up again.
“Wait, wait, wait!”
You give her a third chance, putting the phone back to your ear.
“I can compensate for your help in return! We can help each other. I’m trying to write a book and get it published before the Winter Bear movie comes out. I want to expose the real story behind, not the watered-down, kiddy version of it.”
She piques your interest. “Go on.”
“In return, I’ll help back up your article, I’ll even reference and credit you for aiding me in the research. As long as we’re able to complete the book before the release of the movie, then it’s going to be a hit. Imagine all the clicks you’re going to get in your article after my book is published. You’ll definitely make more than you can ever imagine with any ordinary article.”
“I’ve already received enough criticism as it is with just the trailer. How is a full-length movie and your book going to benefit me?”
“It’s going to be a bit...greedy of me to say, but you aren’t paid by the number of nice comments you get. You get it by how many people click on your online articles. If you ignore the negative comments, didn’t you notice that your pay got relatively higher than normal?”
As much as you don’t want to admit it, it’s true. “Yes.”
“That’s what I’m saying! That’s why we gotta get this finished before the movie. What do you say?”
You fall silent, and it makes Kim think that you actually hung up this time. Talking about the town where the tale of the Winter Bear brings up the memories again. You remember looking down at your small hands, pressing it on the snow as you knelt down. The stiffness in your hands from the cold perfectly describes how you’re feeling right now. It’s strange, when you look back to the time when you were there during winter, it was dead silent.
Your numb hands, stuck in the unforgiving snow, not a sound to comfort you in this recycling memory. It’s strange, it’s only your hands that are cold, not your knees, not your face, nothing. Are you ready to go to that place that you tried so hard to forget? Can you unveil those childhood memories?
You recall that toddler. It was only a split second, but every detail of her is vivid. That baby blue-striped dress, wearing a pink parka over it. Her tiny brown boots treading through the snow, being matted by the pure white. She turns around, and she resembles you a lot.. Her nose red and runny, yet the brimming smile on her face is the only sunlight of that gray memory. The silence is filled with her childish laughter that’s devoid of flaws, as she had yet to be tainted by the world.
“Annie.” Your past-self calls her.
“I’ll do it.”
“That’s great! Then I’ll send you an email and we can set up a day to go to the town. I look forward to working with you in the near future.”
“Yea.”
She hangs up.
“So, what did she say?”
“She wants to work with me.”
“Really?? That’s great! So, how is it going to work out?”
You aren’t entirely sure. You agreed to it on a whim without putting much thought on the consequences. Now you’re a little regretful for saying yes, especially since you don’t want anything to do with it, but since you dedicated an entire article on it, it must mean that a part of you wants to return. You don’t know how your brain works sometimes, like you go into autopilot and another force makes the decisions for you.
“We’re going to the town where that movie took inspiration from, Little Bare.”
———
At the bustling train station, Suniya helps push you through the tight crowd. You keep looking down at your phone, squinting at a picture that Kim took of herself. You’ve never met her in person and most of your conversations with her took place through phone calls and text messages. This will be the first time you’ll see her in person.
“Why the hell is the station so busy on a Tuesday?!” Suniya whines.
Standing right under the ‘Station E’ sign is Kim. She’s a lot shorter than you thought, standing at approximately 4’10”. Her black-framed glasses and messy bun along with her back slouching really gives the impression that she spends a lot of time sitting down, probably reading or researching, and you’re not far from your assumption. She’s focused on writing in her notebook, not paying attention to her surroundings whatsoever, not even caring when a salaryman bumped into her.
“Excuse me, are you Kim?”
She looks up and immediately closes her book. “Hello! You’re (Y/N), right?”
You nod.
She extends her hand out for a handshake, and you take it, taking notice of how sweaty they are. “It’s nice to finally meet you! Is that your agent?”
“Hello, I’m Suniya. We spoke on the phone before.”
“Right, I remember. It’s nice to meet you, too.”
Suniya nods. “Yes. The train should be arriving soon, so do you mind if I talk to you for a bit, Miss Kim?”
“Sure.”
She pulls Kim aside, far enough from you. You know that she’s going to be talking about you, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.
“What is it that you need to talk to me about privately?”
“It’s about (Y/N).”
“Hm? What about her?”
Suniya looks at you, seeing as you’re looking down at your phone. “You see…since I’m not coming on this trip with you guys, can I request you to take care of her?”
Kim is a little taken aback, as you seemed like a fully grown adult who is capable of taking care of yourself. “Sure…”
“You see...she’s a bit...disconnected.”
She wrinkles her eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”
“It’s hard to explain, but I think she has selective memory loss. She experienced some trauma that still affects her today—so much that she tends to block anything that stresses her out too much because that’s how she’s always dealt with her problems. So if she’s spacing out, then that’s why.”
From the distance, you blend well with the crowd, no different than a modern citizen focused on her phone. You don’t look lost—you look so sure of yourself like nothing disturbs you. Your outward appearance doesn’t make you sound like the description that Suniya gave.
“Selective as in, she can willingly forget things?”
She nods. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever she went through as a child, it must’ve been that bad that she doesn’t have any recollection of it. I don’t mean to scare you, but if she behaves abnormally, don’t be afraid to call me.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take good care of her. If I feel comfortable working with her, then I would’ve long since canceled our plans.” She smiles.
Still, Suniya is unsure. It feels wrong, talking about you in this way.
———
On the train, you and Kim are sitting across from each other. The slight bumps create a rhythmic sound as the train speeds to your destination, and there is a lack of conversation from other passengers with the only voice being the overhead of an automated woman alerting the passengers of their next stops. You sit by the window, watching the bushes pass by faster than the mountains from a distance. Kim is on her laptop, typing at the speed of light.
“I might be prying a bit too much, but there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask.”
“Hm?”
“Have you been to Little Bare before?”
You don’t respond—you don’t even look at her.
“Sorry, I stepped over the line. I was just curious because you seem to have more information than your typical person—”
“Yea, I went there once.”
She wasn’t expecting you to answer, so she stutters with her next line of words.
“My family and I went on a road trip during winter break. We got stuck in a blizzard and stayed at the inn there until it died down.”
“Oh, that’s very interesting!” She puts it down in her notebook. “Do you remember what you did there?”
“...Not really.” You lie.
“Oh…” She clears her throat to get rid of the uncomfortable atmosphere she created. “Well...it’s a good thing we’re going back. It’ll help you regain those memories again.”
“How did you know that I went there before?”
“I just assumed because you seem to know a little more about that folklore, not the watered-down version of it.”
“Yea.”
After that, neither of you say anything. This must be what Suniya was saying when she said that you don’t look like you’re paying attention, or you’re distracted by something else. She keeps herself busy by going back to her notebook.
———
At Little Bare, you and Kim exit the train. The wind blows against your hair, giving you the chills. You put your hands in your pocket while you stare at the town that haunts you. Every building is made out of wood, and the newer ones are built from bricks. The town is so small that you can see where it ends from the other side.
“It’s so cold! It’s supposed to have its first snow tonight, so it makes sense. But holy crap...I already can’t stand it.”
The train leaves, leaving you and Kim in a town nearly desolated. It lacks human contact, not a single person in sight. And there it is again—the dead silence. It was there before, and it hasn’t left. You wouldn’t describe it as nostalgia, but a boogeyman welcoming you back to your nightmare.
“Where do we even go?”
“I think down here.”
You walk down the staircase, hearing dead leaves being crushed beneath your feet. You enter through the main entrance of the town with a tall sign towering over you and Kim that reads: ‘Welcome to Little Bare’. You inspect the town, and the buildings made out of wood have turned dark brown after soaking in morning fog and rain. Resting your hand on the walls seems like it’s enough to give you splinters. It isn’t only the buildings that show after-signs of rain, but the streets as well. There are wet patches in the street, giving off the strong scent of wet black tar.
“Is...this the right place? It looks like a ghost town.”
You shake your head. “It’s exactly the same as I remembered.”
The general store is still there the last time you were here, one of the first buildings you’ll see when you enter this place. Directly across the street is the bar, just as empty as it was in the past during the day. The only difference is that everything has aged dramatically, those twenty years taking a toll on the town.
“Where is everybody?”
You shrug your shoulders.
“There’s no reception here because of the high elevation, so I can’t pull up a map. There’s no physical map of this place either.”
You and Kim creep into the town more, with her peeking through the large glass windows of the general store. Her eyes light up when she sees someone standing by the front cash register. An elderly man, sitting on a chair with his back slouched, reading a newspaper.
“Oh, there’s somebody there,” you point at the man. “Let’s ask them for directions.”
You both move closer to the store, and once you’re close enough, the old man notices you two. When making eye contact with you two, Kim waves her hand as a means of greeting him. Rather than returning the greeting, the elderly man grabs a broomstick and walks out of the store, raising the broom over his head and jogging right toward you two.
“Get the hell outta here before I beat your asses myself!”
You and Kim step back, raising your hands to defend yourselves. She grabs onto your arm, and you cling onto her sleeve.
“Wait, wait, wait!” She shouts. “We’re just tourists!”
“I said get outta here! We don’t need no city people here to take what’s ours!”
“We’re not here to take anything!!”
“I said get out!!”
“What’s going on?!” An overweight woman runs out of the room. “Honey! What the fucking shit are you doing?!”
The man stops and turns around, seeing his wife marching after him. She slaps him on the back multiple times, so much that he drops the broom and waves his hands as a means of protection. After hitting him until he’s tame, the woman turns to you and Kim.
“I’m so sorry for my husband. We just had some unwanted guests come by a few days ago givin’ us some papers to sign thinkin’ we can’t read shit, so we’re all on guard,” she puts her hands to her hips. “The name’s Margaret, and this brainless man is Gerald. So, what brings two beautiful, young women here?”
You two look at each other, then back at the woman.
“Uhm..My name’s Kim. We’re here to research the myth of the Winter Bear.”
Upon bringing up the name, Margaret’s smile disappears. “Oh god...you really are just like them. So then, you girls better give me one good reason to welcome you guys in. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to kick your asses outta here.”
And just like that, someone who you two thought was civilized quickly turns sour. Knowing the amount of pain that she can enforce, you and Kim are faced with a ticking time bomb. Kim desperately flips through her notebooks, seeing if she can show any of her records to impress her.
“Uhm...wait, please, Mrs. Margaret! We don’t know who you’re talking about, but w-we have no intention of hurting anyone. I-if you look at my notes, you can tell that I’m genuinely interested in writing about this myth! Y-you see, I’m an author, and Miss (Y/N) is a journalist. We’re working together!”
But this doesn’t convince Margaret at all. She glares at you two, picking up the broom Gerald dropped. Kim freaks out more, seeing if she can find anything to offer.
“We have money! We can pay for anything!!”
That doesn’t work either. For a writer, she does a poor job of persuading. You try to think of anything to support Kim. You look around, biting your nail as sweat begins to form. You hate this—being put on the spot to problem-solve. It makes you dizzy, making you want to escape as soon as possible.
You squeeze your eyes shut, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind. “I’ve been here before!”
Margaret stares at you, raising an eyebrow. You got her attention, so you take this chance to breathe.
“I came here during winter...when I was a child.”
The fury burning underneath Margaret’s eyes turns into sympathy. She lowers the broomstick, tears forming in her eyes as if she reunited with a long lost relative. To your surprise, she wraps her arms around you, catching both you and Kim off guard.
“You poor girl.”
Kim is absolutely confused. She looks at you in hopes of getting an explanation, but your expression is blank. You’re overwhelmed with multiple emotions, coming all together at once unsure of how to express them at once. It’s like when all colors come together to make white. The only thing you can do is hug her back.
———
On the second floor of the general store, you and Kim are sitting in their almost run-down kitchen. The flowery wallpapers are peeling, brown and yellow stains running down until it hits the dusty floorboards, and age-old grease stains and black food chunks occupying the stove. There’s also a gigantic hole in the ceiling.
Margaret sets down a tray of hot chamomile tea on the table. “Sorry for our shitty first impression. Things have just been so heated lately that we’re stressed out of our minds.”
You and Kim take a cup, blowing it before drinking, but Kim drinks it without issue. You want to rest your arms on the table, but it’s so sticky that it makes you quiver just thinking about the last time it was ever cleaned.
“It’s okay! From the looks of it, you guys went through a lot,” Kim replies in an optimistic tone. “What happened?”
Margaret grabs a nearby chair and sits down, placing her elbow on the table without hesitation and running her hand through her gray, curly hair. “We got these big companies, Dismaland or whatever the fuck their name is, demanding that we turn our town into a tourist attraction for a movie they’re making. You know, those family-friendly kinds. I dunno much ‘bout it since the mayor is the one who spoke to them, but we turned it down. Since then, they’ve been harassing us to sign their papers, so every young-lookin’ person dressed almost like you guys, we try kicking them out.”
You never realized how bad it’s gotten here. It was just as hostile as you remember in your memories, but a little worse since your parents were there to defend you.
“I swear to God, we’re nice people, but we gotta put up our guard if those bastards keep on coming back,” she sighs heavily. “But to be brutally honest, I really do think we need the money. As you can tell, our place is a shithole, and those big guys are willing to give us a small portion of the money.”
“But it isn’t really about the money, is it?” You ask.
She doesn’t respond immediately. Rather, she nods.
“You’re damn right. Those corporations don’t realize that they’re creating the biggest graveyard in history.”
Kim’s eyes widen, covering her mouth as she stares at you and Margaret. “No way...you mean to tell me…”
Margaret nods again. “This ‘Winter Bear’ ain’t no fable. It’s real.”
Kim places her hands flat on the tables. “Kids actually go missing?! I knew it! Everything was just too suspicious to be simply a story.”
“Yea, so even if we need the money to keep the town going, we ain’t gonna risk some kids’ lives for it.”
“Wait,” Kim pauses. “So then...if the disappearances of children are real, then what’s the actual cause of it? Don’t tell me it’s actually a bear.”
She shakes her head. “We don’t know either. All we know is that once the kids go into the forest, they don’t come back.”
Margaret glances at you, but you avoid her gaze. You act as if you have nothing to do with the conversation, sipping the tea.
“But that doesn’t make sense. Bears hibernate during winter and these disappearances happen around this time. Wouldn’t it make more sense that it’s some other animal or a person? Not a bear. And only winter?” Kim scratches her head.
“Not to sound like a smartass, but bears actually don’t hibernate.”
“What?? Really?”
“They sleep longer during the winter to save energy, but they wake up in case of danger or hunger. It is possible that you can still encounter a bear.”
“So then...do you think it’s possible that bears eat the children due to the lack of food?”
Margaret shrugs her shoulders. “That could be it, but let me ask you this: wouldn’t you think a bear would leave traces of the child? Clothes? Blood? Something? They disappear into thin air, almost like they never existed.”
This sends chills down Kim’s spine. She’s heard of this many times, but hearing it from an actual resident who has lived through children going missing is terrifying...but also intriguing.
“That means that we have to check the forest! Wait, Miss (Y/N), you said that you came here before. If kids go missing, then how did you survive?”
You stare at the wall, noticing how particularly yellow it is. Judging by how dirty the place is, it makes you wonder if the wallpaper was white but got stale as time went by. You’ve been very quiet, not bothering to put your input, and this concerns Margaret. She knew that Kim was stepping over her boundaries.
“...(Y/N)?” Kim asks. “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yea, I’m fine.”
“After your tea, I can show you young ladies where to go for the inn.”
Kim doesn’t read the atmosphere, not seeing how uncomfortable you’ve become. You clench onto the teacup, pinching the handle with all your might. You were confident when the thought of coming here sprung up, but being physically here is more demanding than you could’ve ever imagined.
———
Some time has gone by since the visit to Margaret’s place. She showed you two around the place, introducing you to some of the residents. Some of them you remember, but others you don’t. They don’t recognize you either, and Margaret is kind enough not to share your name with them. Once she’s finished showing you two around town, she eventually leads you two to the inn.
In the room, Kim is taking a shower while you sit by the edge of your bed. Despite struggling to find reception, the inn miraculously has some, although a bit slow. You have over fifty text messages from only two people—Suniya and your mother. Both of their messages are asking how you and Kim are doing. However, you turn off your phone, sighing as you toss it aside. You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling fan blanketed with dust. The fan itself looks like it’ll fall any second, seeing as it shakes even from the lightest movement.
You were naive to think that your problems will be solved if you stepped into Little Bare again. It’s more complicated than you expected, and now you want out. However, you’ve already promised to work with Kim; you can’t break the deal. You wish Suniya was here to yell at you, to tell you that you’ve made a dumb decision. That way, it would at least sound like she cares. Even though you’ve gotten to know Kim a little more, it still feels like you’ve stranded yourself on a foreign land.
And that image of the little girl, Annie, continuously appearing every time you close your eyes. Every corner of this town reminds you of her, like a ghost haunting you. You can sense her presence in the corner of the room, purposely watching you with hollow, blackened holes for eyes. She’s standing there in her pink parka and blue-striped dress, waiting for you to make your next move.
You groan, rubbing your eyes. You apply enough pressure that your eyes are being pushed back, rubbing so fast that your skin turns red. No matter how much you try to push the thoughts away, she just keeps coming back. Just as Kim exited the room, you get off the bed, taking your jacket and heading straight to the door.
“Where are you going? You look like you’re in a rush to start a mission.”
“It’s too small in here. I need some fresh air.”
“O-oh, okay...but please stay safe! Who knows what kinds of creeps are out there.”
“I will. Thanks.” You open the door and close it behind you.
———
You walk around, hands in the pockets of your jacket. There is no wind, but the drop in temperature stiffens your muscles. Just like in the morning, no one is occupying the streets. It’s just you, alone, with your bothersome thoughts. It manifests into a black aura, clinging onto the back of your head.
You thought about heading to Margaret’s place just to get things off of your chest, but you change your mind. She never directly stated it, but she knew who you were and what you went through. It was an odd moment that she sympathized with you without knowing exactly what had happened.
A flashy neon sign catches your attention. It’s in the shape of a brown beer bottle, pouring bubbles into a glass wine. It’s the bar that’s across the street of the general store called Bar & Grill. You’re not a drinker, but when your stress gets overwhelming, you tend to be persuaded by the lust of alcohol. Wanting to get rid of this black aura looming, you make the decision to enter the bar.
———
Your head is on the counter table, your arms around it to hide your red face. The inside of the place has very few people, only a few men who just came back from work, but even these men are barely whispering a word. The bartender stands on the other side of the counter, cleaning the glass cups with a white cloth.
“Hey, Miss. Do you have someone to take you home?”
You groan.
The bartender sighs. “You’re a young woman. Do you know how easy it is to be preyed on?”
“I can...handle myself,” you raise your head up, one eye open. “I practically raised myself! What makes you think I’m irresponsi...ble? You dunno me.” You slur your words.
The bartender sets the cup down, putting her hand on her hip and leaning on the counter. She isn’t sure if your red, watery eyes are because you drank so much or if you’re becoming emotional.
“You’re one of those researchers that came here earlier today, huh? Marge told me,” she shakes her head. “Jesus Christ, you city people really don’t know the limits to drinking.”
Next to you are five empty beer cups with the foam sliding down on the sides. You snicker at how much you drank, followed by a hiccup. “Wow, you’re right. I’m usually good at self-control. I know how to control my problems, but tonight is not one of those times.”
“It’s not that you’re good at controlling your problems. You’re just good at avoiding them. Marge told me about you, and no offense, but she thinks it’s fucking strange that you don’t look like you’re bothered that your sister was taken away by that monster. But I disagree. You’re pretending like it ever happened.”
“Excuse me? Who are you to assume how I feel??”
“Our place is practically off-coordinates with maps, but we still have those runaways who come to the bar every so often. You’re no different from them. So…”
“What?”
“Do you want to talk about it?” She crosses her arms. “I won’t tell anybody. We pretend that tonight never existed.”
You rummage your hand through your messy hair, calming down. It might be the toxication persuading you, but you’re not comfortable telling her.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Oh really?”
“I don’t want to, and it’s because I don’t know how to talk about it. If I can’t even talk to my mom about it, then why the hell do you think I can tell you? When I did want to bring Annie’s disappearance up, my mom would change the subject. It’s not only that, but it was like...she wanted to make me disappear too. And I know it’s because she fucking blames me for losing her, and seeing my face reminds her that she lost her baby. She always favored Annie anyway, so it wasn’t surprising that when she went missing, she...she said…”
You have a flashback of when you were a child during the aftermath. You and your parents returned safely home but without Annie. Your six-year-old mind thought that if you stared at Annie’s cradle in your parents’ bedroom every so often, she would magically return. But to your dismay, your efforts were in vain, and she never appeared.
One night, you woke up from a repeating nightmare of the day you lost her, so to soothe your racing heart, you jumped out of your bed and ran to their bedroom to look at her cradle, praying that she’s there. But rather than seeing your parents asleep, they’re sitting by the edge of the bed. Your mother is curled into a ball, sobbing profusely while your father makes attempts to comfort her with shallow pats on the back. In between her cries, you heard:
“Why couldn’t it have been (Y/N)?”
Returning from a trip to the past, taking your wallet out and paying with cash. You put on your coat and head straight to the exit.
“Where are you going?” The bartender asks.
“To sleep.”
You march right out the bar, massaging your head. After opening the doors, you step out and nearly tripped. For a second, your foggy mind thought you stepped through a hole, but it turns out to be snow. Some time has gone since you’ve been holed up in the bar that it already began snowing and it’s piled up.
You wobble to the empty forest, leaving a trace of your footprints. You despise being anywhere near the empty forest that surrounds Little Bare, but with alcohol, you think you’re invincible. You stand in front of the forest, being unable to see into the distance with the fog blocking your view. But amongst the fog, there is an apparition.
You squint your eyes, but they fail to make sense of what stands far away. But what you can make of the figure is that it’s small and crouched over. It’s alive, moving around but at the same time, staying in the same spot. It isn’t far, but it isn’t that close either.
Your mind immediately draws to that apparition being a bear. That bear that took everything away from you--your little sister, your chance at a childhood, a shot at a proper adult life, everything. Anger spurs within you, no longer having that rationality in your fragile mind. Within a spur of impulse, you pick up a rock the size of your hand, pulling it back and throwing directly toward the bear.
“FUCK YOU!” You shout from the top of your lungs.
Despite the influence of alcohol, you nailed the apparition right at its head. It falls to the ground, the sound of a ‘plop’ echoing. In that brief act of revenge, victory overcame you. You nearly raise your hands up in celebration, thinking that you defeated your arch-nemesis. But you manage to return to your senses, realizing that the apparition isn’t a figment of your imagination...but an actual person. Then your adrenaline fades away.
You trek through the thick snow, hopping through it until you enter the forest, whilst tripping and stumbling. You lean over the black figure, rubbing your eyes to make sure that what you’re seeing is real. Unable to stand straight, you fall backward and land on your bottom. After blinking, dread sets in when you realize that it’s a child.
“Oh my god...oh no...help...”
You try to stand up to look for help, but once you do, your vision turns black and you become light-headed. Nausea hits you, wrapping your hand around your stomach to control your gag reflexes. The alcohol, lack of food and water, combined with the high elevation comes altogether, making you fall down again.
As your eyelashes flutter, there’s a flashlight illuminating from the direction where you came from. Just when you’re about to close your eyes, the young boy’s body grows exponentially, growing to an exact size of a fully-grown adult right before you.
———
“Mom! Dad! I made a best friend!! He lives in a cave in the forest with the black trees...No! I’m not lying. He really does live there! He’s six years old like me...What? He’s real!! He doesn’t live with a mom and dad, but he said that he lives with kids like me and him too…
“And I told him that I would show him Annie, too...”
“Don’t…!” You sit up in an unfamiliar room in a cold sweat and heavy breathing.
You’re on a clean bed, made of pure white. On the walls, there are drawings of the human anatomy, motivational quotes plastered on a piece of paper with words such as ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ and ‘be calm and exercise’.
Next the bed is Kim, startled by you suddenly waking up. “(Y/N)?! Are you okay??”
You look at your hand that’s trembling violently, but now that you’re conscious, the hangover hits you hard like a bullet. That massive headache and your stomach twisted in a knot. There’s a lump in your throat with the urge to throw up, but there’s nothing that’s coming out.
“Where...is this place?”
“It’s the clinic. The bartender found you unconscious with a man in the woods and thought that he was trying to take advantage of you.”
“A man…?”
You search through with what very little that you remember last night. You went to the bar to waste away, then you walked out. There was someone in the forest—a young boy. It was too dark to make sense of the boy’s details, but you just knew based on his shape that it was definitely a male.
“No...no…” You squeeze your eyes shut, enduring the pestering headache as you shake your head. “It...it was a boy. A kid.”
“What?” She raises an eyebrow. “There were no kids around, just the man. They’re interrogating him right now.”
You don’t recall a man being there. You must’ve been that fucked up to mistaken a man for a child. Even though it shouldn’t be an issue, it’s bothering you a lot. You remove the blanket, attempting to get out of bed before Kim stops you.
“What are you doing??”
“I have to see the man.”
“No! The doctor advised that you sit. You haven’t been eating, so you’re light-headed.”
“Let me see him. I need to.”
“Stop being crazy and just rest! They made food for you, so just eat and sleep.”
She puts her arms on you, but you gently push her hands away. “I will after I see him.”
You get out of bed, trying to stand but the light-headedness sets in. Your vision turns black briefly, causing you to stumble over your feet. Kim comes to the aid, helping you balance.
“See? I told you. Just rest.”
“No...I’m good. Do you know where this guy’s room is?”
Seeing how adamant you are about it, she decides to give in. “He’s in the room next to you.”
You head out of the room, walking slowly so that you don’t fall, then exiting the room. In the halls, there’s nobody, making it easier for you to head into the other room without any interruptions. You twist the doorknob, swinging it open to find the doctor and policeman, assuming by the uniforms that they’re wearing for their designated jobs. They turn to you, caught off-guard by your entrance.
The man that you’re looking for is on the bed, tilting his head when you two make eye contact. He has a long face, void of a smile. His black hair is frizzy and curly, strands of it flying all directions as if he just woke up. There are bandages wrapped around his head. After that short contact, he looks away, grabbing the doctor’s sleeve and using it to hide his face.
“Miss (Y/N)? What are you doing up?” The doctor asks.
Kim follows from behind.
“Miss Kim, I told you to watch over her.”
“I’m sorry...but she was persistent in seeing him.”
“Him…?”
Now that you have gotten your opportunity to meet with the man, you don’t know what to do. You stand still, at a loss of words when you meet the man that you ran into the forest. Perhaps you really did run into a man, not a child. You were under the influence, after all.
“Miss (Y/N),” the policeman starts. “Since you seem well enough to be standing, can I have a word with you?”
“Sure…”
———
“Amnesia?”
Returning back to your room, the policeman explains what they were discussing earlier. Kim had returned to the hotel room to give you and the police some privacy, and the doctor is staying with the man.
He sits with his hands folded on his lap, giving you a serious expression. “Yes. It’s a minor blunt-force trauma to the head, like something no bigger than a rock.”
“Oh my god…I was the one who hit him.”
“Did he try to assault you?”
You shake your head. “I did out of anger, but not at him. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.”
You fear that you’ll get in trouble, but you’re more fearful of the condition that you left the young man in. You weren’t expecting your throw to be that strong. The policeman scratches his beard, figuring out what to do in this situation.
“For all I know, you could be lying.”
You gulp.
“But hey, you could also be telling the truth. We don’t know until we check out the scene and hear his side. He doesn’t remember crap—not even his own name. For now, we’ll continue the investigation.”
You sigh in relief, but that still doesn’t deter the guilt from you. The man is a victim of your outlash, and it’s natural for you to want to make up for what you’ve done, even if it’s minor.
“Uhm...how is he…? The guy, I mean.”
“Other than the total amnesia, he’s in a healthy state. It’s strange, though. Other than a large coat, he was wearing a thin layer of clothes, but his body temperature wasn’t affected by the cold. We don’t have young people living here either, so it’s a mystery where he came from.”
He stands up from the chair, walking to the door.
“Well, it’s nice meeting you, Miss (Y/N). If you remember anything, then don’t be afraid to come to me. My name is Sheriff Tusk, and I’ll be in the police station often.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Sheriff Tusk walks out, leaving you alone. You fall back, resting your head on the pillow as you exhale. So much has happened in a short amount of time that it’s difficult to believe that all this actually happened. Even if you got away with being put to jail, you feel immensely guilty for hurting him.
———
The next day, you’ve been discharged from the hospital, suffering only from lack of nutrients and a hangover. Kim is in the room with you, helping you pack your things. Neither of you say much, focusing on putting your belongings away. You keep thinking about the man next-door, wondering how he’s doing. You keep stealing glances at Kim, wanting to ask her if you two can visit him but never gathering enough courage to actually ask her.
“Are you ready?” Kim asks as she puts the last folded shirt into your luggage.
“Hm? Oh, yea.”
You take the luggage from her and head to the door. Kim looks at her phone, once again, seeing that her phone has low reception. You pass by the man’s room, stopping in front of it and nearly causing Kim to bump into you.
“Whoa, what’s going on?”
Without a response, your eyes lay heavily on the door, struggling with the debate of whether or not you should enter.
“...(Y/N)...?”
Eventually, you make the final decision, approaching it and your hand grasping the doorknob. You pull the door open, making Kim confused, but not stopping you from continuing.
Inside the room, your peer at the bed, seeing the man sitting upward with a movable table that has a tray of food on top. He holds a cup of pudding in his hand, eating the chocolate-flavored dessert faster than the sound of light. He eats as though he hasn’t eaten in days, the pudding smearing on the corners of his lips.
It takes a moment for him to sense your presence, jolting and freezing when he sees you. You blink profusely, looking around the room nervously. You wanted to see him again, but you didn’t think about what, or if, you wanted to say something.
The man holds the end of his blanket and pulls it up.
You scratch the back of your neck, looking only at the corner of the room. “Hi, uh...I don’t think I’ve ever formally introduced myself. My name is (Y/N).”
You move closer and extend your hand out, but it makes the man flinch. Seeing that he doesn’t want to accept your hand, you pull it back.
“I don’t know if the doctor told you but...I’m the one who threw a rock at you, which is why you have that injury. I came in to say that I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t respond to you. Rather, he stares as if he’s fearful for his life, his pupils shaking from seeing you. You take one more step, wanting to get to know him, but it makes him flinch.
“I hope you—”
“S-stay away from me…” He whimpers.
His voice is deeper than any man’s voice, and yet his tone is like a scared child. Even the way he pronounced each syllable is with a lisp and not proper, as if he’s slurring. Despite his masculine outlook with his broad shoulders, tall height, and sharp eyes, underneath that shell, he’s fearful and small.
On the right side of you is the bathroom, the door open. You face the mirror, looking at your reflection. You see yourself as an ordinary person, but this man probably sees you as something, not someone, else in his reflection.
Kim puts her hand on your shoulder, pulling you back gently. “Miss (Y/N), I think it’s better to leave him alone.”
You know it’s better to do that, but there’s an urge within you, pushing you to stay. There’s an internal battle between you and yourself, the desire to stay and talk to him but leaving him alone to rest. Ultimately, you choose Kim’s suggestion.
You take a few steps back, your courage slowly being broken down with each step. “S-sorry…”
Breaking from a blanked trance, you abruptly pace out of the room and to the lobby. Kim is left confused, her head turning back and forth between you and the man.
“Sorry about bursting into your room. I pray for a healthy recovery.” Kim runs off to find you.
———
You stand just outside the small and aging medical building, Kim eventually catching up to you.
“Hey! What was up with that?”
No response.
“Miss (Y/N)...? Hello?”
“I...I don’t know.”
You couldn’t quite understand it either, unsure of what it was that made it okay to visit him. Despite his amnesia, it seems like he’s aware that you’re the one who injured him. With your behavior worrying her, Kim puts her hands on your shoulders, shaking you slightly.
“Do you know that guy?”
“No...no, not really.”
This is the first time you’ve met him, but there’s something about that man that you can’t put your finger on it. Perhaps it’s the guilt talking to your rationale or the urge to talk to somebody who’s close to your age. You just can’t let go of this.
“Well, you shouldn’t worry about it. The sheriff let you off, so you don’t have to take care of him.”
What Kim says floats over your head. You’re not doing this to appear like a law-abiding citizen. There’s this unconscious instinct that’s pulling you to him. It sounds unrealistic and dramatic, but there’s no other way you can describe this feeling. You turn around, staring at the medical building.
———
“What do you mean I can’t visit?”
In the main lobby, the doctor is sitting behind his desk, reading the newspaper. He lowers his glasses to give you a hollow glare. It’s the next day, and you decided to visit the man a second time but your visitation has been turned down by the doctor.
“Visiting without the patient’s permission, especially consistently, is harassment. I’ve been notified of what happened yesterday, so to protect each patient’s safety, I advise that you leave him alone.”
“But I’m not doing anything bad. I just want to talk to him.”
“I know you don’t have malicious intentions, but he’s still recovering from the head injury. Plus, the police are investigating, so it’s better if you leave him alone to avoid trouble.”
“I know, but…” You trail off.
“And you should be resting as well. You’re slightly anemic and are lacking some sugar in you. I’d say run to the store and buy some ice cream.”
Despite that, you stand still. Eating for your physical health’s sake isn’t your priority, but to see the man again. The desire to see him is just as haunting as seeing delusions of your little sister.
He raises an eyebrow, folding his newspaper up and leaning over his desk. “Why are you so persistent in talking to him? From as far as I can tell, you two don’t know each other.”
He’s asking a question that you don’t know the answer to. He waits for a response, but nothing. You seem hesitant, figuring out why it’s your first instinct to see him. You just have to, but if you tell him that, then he’ll most likely kick you out anyway for an absurd reason.
Seeing as you won’t say anything, he leans back, returning to his newspaper. “Well then, I’m sorry but without a proper reason, I can’t let you see him.”
“But…!”
He sighs, losing his patience with you. “I will call Sheriff Tusk if you don’t leave us alone.”
With the threat of police involvement, it pulls you back. You turn to the door, your shoulders raised up.
“Damn city people, thinking they can do whatever they want.” The doctor whispers.
You stop in your tracks. Normally, you don’t let insults like these get to you, but his tone made it seem like you’re scum. You’re not being stubborn because you think you’re superior to the rest of them, but he paints it that way.
With your eyes filled with red, you spin around, marching right back at the doctor. He notices right away, lowering the newspaper and preparing for an attack from you. You clench your fist, getting ready to let him know what’s been in your mind and conveying that through a punch.
But you purposely look away from him, looking at the corner of the room, your inner voice telling you to stop. When you get to his desk, you nearly slam your hand on it before the last nanosecond, pulling the force back and your fists making a soft landing.
You stare straight into the doctor’s shaking eyes. You exhale heavily, cooling down your temper. “Sorry. I just wanted to say that mold is growing in the corners. You should give it a look.”
He raises an eyebrow, questioning your mental state. Absolutely nothing made sense, not even to you. You turn around and pacing out of the building. He fixes his glasses, having no clue what just happened. He looks at the corner, seeing the black mold growing.
———
Outside of the medical building, you crouch into a fetal position, hiding your face in your knees. You don’t know what’s going on with you. You don’t have full control of your body, and it’s scaring you. One second, you’re oddly pulled toward that strange man, the next second, you let your anger take the driver's seat. You’re beginning to think that you belong in an insane asylum.
“Oh my, what in the devil’s name are you doing?” Margaret jogs to you.
She crouches over, rubbing your back. She takes your arm and helps you stand up. You’re confused, not knowing who’s touching you or where you’re at. You come back to your senses when you see Margaret’s face.
“Don’t be sitting in the snow like that, you crazy woman! Look at you, dressed like a whore out here in the cold and only wearing a thin layer of clothes!”
Calling you a ‘whore’ was a bit uncalled for, but you don’t get angry.
“Jesus Christ, that damn doc discharged you early. That scum of a doc probably let you go early because he’s too lazy to take care of you. C’mon girly, come to my place.”
She holds onto you, letting you lean on her to her place.
———
In her kitchen, Margaret sets a tray of cookies from a tin box in front of you with a warm cup of coffee. You sit with your knees close to your chest, curled up in a ball. You pick up a cookie, but the edges start crumbling. After a bite, it practically falls apart in your mouth and makes your throat dry. You take a sip of the coffee, clearly tasting the stale flavor of the grounded beans and sink water combined. You try not to make a bitter look, but you can’t help it.
“That boy has been stirring shit up even though he’s the one being holed up in that den. The whole town has been talking about him.”
She takes a seat next to you, putting sugar in her coffee and mixing it with a spoon. She takes a sip, smacking her lips after tasting her awful coffee calmly as if this taste is normal to her.
“But seeing a young man is definitely a breath of fresh air. Like with you and your Kimmy friend, it’s rare to see youngins here. Maybe he was with those contractors from the other day and got separated from them.”
It’s the most sensible explanation, but it doesn’t explain why he was alone in the forest. If he was a part of those businessmen, then he would’ve long since gone into the town and asked for help.
“What were you doing there, on your knees like you were prayin’?”
Once again, there’s that hesitation. She looks at you, ready for you to spill your heart out, but two decades of being a closed book, it feels way too strange to share. Just from your silence alone, she can tell that you’re not comfortable yet.
“You know that by clamming it into your brain ain’t gonna make it better. Even if you don’t tell me, I know exactly why you’re freaking out like your ass’s on fire.”
It’s a weird simile, but you take it.
“I know your struggle, but it ain’t like I understand it though. That’s why you gotta explain it.”
You hold the cup with your two hands, looking down at your reflection in the coffee.
“Don’t think that just because you’re all grown up now that I don’t remember what happened to you and Annie. I’ve lived here for thirty years, and every single kid who went missing here has been imprinted in my head. If there’s someone you want to talk to, don’t be afraid to talk. Or…” Margaret wipes imaginary dust off your shoulders, raising her eyebrows and smiling widely like a cartoon character. “I’m wrong and you crushin’ on that boy.”
“What the…? No.”
“Lady, don’t hide it. I saw how much you were beggin’ to see that young lad. I know young love when I see it.”
“It’s not even remotely close,” You don’t know how this turned romantic suddenly. “It’s normal for someone with decent morals to make sure that the person they harmed is okay.”
“Whatever you say, girly.”
It was so long ago, but now you remember. That time when you first came here, Margaret also told your parents to scram. Being no taller than your mother’s waist, she looked like a giant—a real-life monster scaring you to death. You can’t recall the exact words, but she must’ve been just as hostile as she was with you and Kim on the first day. But with the lens of an adult, now you know that those shouts were for concerns. She must’ve seen you and Annie and knew what ill fate was about to occur.
You look out the window and at the clinic. That man is still in his room, doing God knows what. “Margaret, don’t get the wrong impression, but how much are your flowers and candy?”
———
One of the good things about this clinic is that it’s open 24/7, but the doctor sleeps at his desk. You open the door carefully, making sure that you don’t make a noise. You keep your eye on the doctor, nervous that he’ll wake up. In your hands is a bouquet of flowers and on the other is a grocery bag. You move your hands as little as possible, holding two of the loudest objects in your arms. Luckily, you manage to pass by without waking him up, your feet lightly making its way up the stairs and to the man’s room.
As you sneak through the halls, you’re beginning to think of yourself as a creepy person. You really went through the lengths to see a man who you’ve harmed once and spoken to once. You’ve always been questioning your mental stability, but this is pushing it. A part of you wants you to run out, but you’ve already put yourself deep into this mess to leave.
You make it to his bedroom, a single light coming from behind the curtains. You knock on the door, and although you don’t get a response, you can hear the sheets fluttering. You put your hand on the doorknob, but then you pull back, the reality of the situation hitting you hard. Sighing heavily, you think it’s best to leave. At this rate, what you’re doing can get you into massive trouble.
Just as you turn around, you hear a loud bang in the man’s room, followed by the ringing echoes of metal objects dropping. You scrunch your shoulders up, nearly screaming at the sudden loudness. This prompts you to open the door and check what happened.
In the room, you look around, but only darkness wraps around you, taking seconds for your eyes to adjust to it. On the ground is the man, squirming around, entangled in the blanket. You’re unsure of what to do, placing the grocery bag and bouquet on the bed. You attempt to pull the sheets off of him, but his kicking and punching creates a struggle for both of you.
“Hey, you don’t need to move so much…!”
After a while, you’re able to pull it off. When he sees you, he freezes, and you as well. You move back, on your knees, but having no idea how to explain why you’re here, you scratch the back of your neck.
“So uhm...what were you doing on the floor?”
Why did you even ask that, you idiot?! You want to slap yourself, but you remain cool. The man stares at you, having no idea how to answer you. If anything, he seems more frightened than shocked to see you. You try to think of anything to reassure him that you’re not a threat.
You grab the bouquet from the bed and show it to him. “This is for you.”
He stares at it curiously, like he doesn’t know what it is. He reaches over to grab it, but he pulls his hand back.
“Wh...where did you get this?”
“...I got it from the store…?”
Since it’s winter, most of the flowers have been shipped from other areas, but Margaret’s shop didn’t have that many, so the bouquet is rather small. He eyes it in awe as if he’s never seen these before. He pulls a rose out, inspecting every angle. He bends the stem, then picks a petal off. He does it again, and again, and again until his lap is surrounded with red petals. What’s left of the rose is the crooked stem, and the thorns.
He sweeps the crimson petals into a pile, finding the smoothness of it satisfying, pinching them in between his thumb and index finger. He raises his head, giving you round, innocent eyes, pointing at himself. “Are these for me?”
“Y-yea…”
You almost forgot about the second half of the gift. You grab the grocery bag, spilling the content all over the floor. It’s different kinds of candy—chocolate bars, jawbreakers, and gummy worms.
“When I came here last time, you were eating that pudding to death, so I thought you’d like to have more sweets.” You don’t even know if he’s supposed to be consuming this much sugar, but you thought that you just had to buy him these.
You give him a watermelon-flavored hard candy. He tilts his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. That’s when he pops the candy into his mouth, not bothering to remove the wrapper.
“Ah! What are you doing?! Spit it out!” You sit up, pulling yourself closer to him.
Startled by your raised voice, he flinches at first, raising his arms up like you were about to hit him. He spits out the candy immediately, that childish curiosity disappearing. You move back, wondering if your loud tone scared him.
“You...you can’t eat it like that. You have to take off the wrapper first.”
You wait for him to pick up the wet candy, but he doesn’t. Not wanting to pick up the saliva-covered candy, you pick up a different one, showing it to him.
“Copy me.”
He picks up the one he spat out, pinching the wrinkled edges just like you. You pull it outward, the wrapper spinning and loosening. Once the twists come off, you unpeel the plastic, showing him a hardened sphere. You put in your mouth, letting the sweetness soak in your mouth.
“Like that.”
He does what you do, the candy twirling until it’s untwisted. He takes it out, eating it, and that’s when his eyes widen, astonished by how sweet it is.
“It’s sweeter than pudding!” He exclaims.
His enthusiasm for how sweet candy is is absolutely weird...yet endearing. For a man who’s around your age to behave like he’s experiencing sugar for the first time is abnormal, but it makes you feel...warm inside.
He tries to bite the candy, but he wasn’t expecting it to be this difficult and ends up hurting his jaw. “Ow…but it’s not soft like pudding.”
You hold back the urge to laugh. He definitely has been living under a rock if he didn’t know that he can’t bite it down so easily. That’s probably why the doctor gave him soft foods.
He reaches for another one, but you stop him. “What are you doing?”
“I want to eat another one.”
“I-I know it’s for you but...you should wait to have more in the morning. It’s not good for your teeth.”
He’s saddened, but he obeys. He folds his hand, but his eyes won’t leave the candy that you dropped everywhere. Unable to say no to his puppy eyes, you give him candy that’s easier to chew. Not letting him unwrap it himself, you open it for him.
“This is taffy. It’s strawberry flavor. I think you might like it.”
You give it to him, and lights sparkle behind his eyes. He eats it, savoring the taste. Seeing his smile makes you feel fuzzy, like seeing how genuinely happy he is for something as simple as getting candy makes you want to smile too.
“Uhm...I don’t know if I ever got your name,” but then you recall that he doesn’t remember his name. “Actually, wait...never mind.”
“...Taehyung.”
Taehyung? It sounds out of place for a town like Little Bare. He definitely isn’t from here, which only brings more mystery as to who he actually is. Other than that, it’s a unique name foreign to you.
“I’m...sorry for hitting you on the head. I wasn’t thinking straight and did something really stupid…”
“Yea, it really hurt,” he points out blatantly. “Just promise me that you won’t do it again. Not just to me, but to anybody else.”
It felt out of sorts that somebody as immature as Taehyung would give you a lecture, but you nod. “Promise.”
“Okay.” And just like that, he continues eating the taffy.
He scoots closer to you, losing the tensity in his muscles. Your determination to see him has finally died down, and now the timidness is entering your body. It’s impossible to distract yourself from him, watching him eat with absolute happiness, glad that you ignored the urge to run away and stayed.
You stare at the candies on the ground, the sensation of nostalgia overcoming you. You ate these when you were a child, and you ate these a lot with Annie, especially the watermelon-flavored candy. Since her disappearance, it was difficult for you to consume these again. But times have changed, and you bought these impulsively for Taehyung.
You bite the candy that’s in your mouth, breaking it into pieces to swallow, then putting the watermelon one in. Eating it was like going back in time, being that six-year-old, naive girl. You even ate this when you were here, fighting with Annie and not sharing one until your mother yelled at you to share. It’s such a trivial memory, but one that you remember vividly.
But this is the reason why you avoided anything relating to this town. It brings back memories that you tried so hard to bury deep in your head. You don’t want to be re-attached to emotions that you cut the strings to. You flutter your eyelashes, raising your head at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. You can hear Annie’s laughter, holding her small, chubby hands as you two run through the snow. You exhale slowly, but it’s shaky, and your chest feels heavy.
“(Y/N)...are you okay?” Your trance is broken when you hear Taehyung’s voice.
You return to your senses, surprised that he remembers your name. “N-no...I’m just...I just haven’t...it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
Taehyung tilts his head to the side, observing you fighting back the tears as you rub your eyes. With your eyes closed, he extends his hand out, reaching for your head, but when you open them back up, he pulls it back immediately.
———
“Oh no, Tae, what happened this time??”
“They were pushing me around again. They were throwing snowballs and telling me to go away. They kept telling me that they don’t play with immigrants. What does that mean?”
“...Ignore them. Tell me where they hit you.”
“My head...they kept aiming there.”
“A snowball is not supposed to hurt. Oh dear God...you’re bleeding again. Don’t tell me, did they put rocks in the snowballs again??”
“I don’t know...but it really hurts.”
“My poor child…”
“...Mom…”
“Yes?”
“...Am I an alien?”
“What? No! You’re Kim Taehyung, the strongest boy.”
“But...I’m skinnier than the rest of the kids. Plus...they keep saying that I have small eyes. I can never beat them at racing.”
“Taehyung. Do you know what’s the strongest forest animal?”
“What?”
“A bear. They’re huge and can beat up anything that stands in their way. But you know what else makes a bear strong? Not only physical strength, but their will power to stay alive too. You may be a cub right now, but when you grow up, you’re going to be the strongest bear in the entire world! You’re going to be so strong that you won’t need to hibernate like the rest of the grizzlies. That’s why, no matter what, Taehyung, you’ll always be my baby bear. When you’re in trouble, call for me and I’ll be there. I promise I won’t leave you. Now, let’s get you treated at the clicnic.”
———
“Are you insane??” Kim’s booming voice echoes across the inn. Kim’s hands are on her hips, like a mother scolding her child.
You’re by the edge of the bed, startled by her voice.
“Did you really think that the doctor wouldn’t see the things you left for that guy? The doctor told me everything this morning. What the hell were you thinking, sneaking into his room late at night??”
You sigh, unbuttoning your coat. “His name is Taehyung.”
“His name doesn’t matter. What matters is that you broke into his room. It’s already enough that you nearly got in trouble for injuring him, but this? This is pushing it!” She wants to say more, but letting her anger out on you won’t do anything to ease it.
The way she lectures you reminds you of Suniya, and it might be because Kim is beginning to understand what she meant when she said that you’re disconnected. Logic does not correlate with you and you do things erratically.
“But I didn’t hurt him this time. We had a little chat, and I gave him a few things.”
“But did it really have to be during the middle of the night?”
It didn’t, but there was no other way if the doctor was going to keep you away from him.
“Is it because you felt bad?”
“...I guess? He’s a really nice guy. You should talk to him. Everything he says is interesting.”
You don’t need her to tell you that what you did was wrong, but perhaps she’s doing it because of how nonchalant you are.
“Miss (Y/N)...you can’t forget about why we’re here. This isn’t a vacation, we’re working, and we both haven’t even jotted down a single word. Fooling around with a stranger—”
“Taehyung.”
“...Taehyung...Talking to him is going to waste more time. He’s not paying for our meals.”
You fold your hands on your lap, glaring at it. She can tell you feel a little guilty, so she tries figuring out how to talk to you without you becoming withdrawn. She takes a seat next to you, but makes a clear gap between you and her.
“Remember why we’re here. There’s a story that we have to tell, right? To warn people that this place isn’t meant to be lived in.”
You pick on your fingernails, fully aware of your purpose for being here...but seeing Taehyung was almost like a calling...That night, talking and eating candy on the floor, it felt like an eternity since you last spoke to someone that didn’t have anything to do with work. Even though you’ve never met him before, it felt like you’ve known him for years.
“Yea...yea, yea. I know.”
“If you know, then let's start our work today. We’ve gotten comfortable with this place, so let’s start by interviewing the townspeople.”
“Okay.”
———
Laying on his back is Taehyung, raising his arms up and staring at the candy wrapper. He covers the ceiling light with the wrapper, and he smiles while thinking of you.
“Taehyung, focus.” The doctor snaps his fingers.
Taehyung flinches and crunches the wrapper in his hand. Sitting on a stool next to the bed is the doctor with a clipboard.
“Answer my questions. Have you recollected any memories since your stay here?”
Taehyung shakes his head.
“Nothing?”
He nods.
“So is it really your name that you only remember?”
He nods again.
“And you have no idea where you’re from? Not a clue?”
He shrugs his shoulders. His lack of vocal response irritates the doctor slightly, but forcing Taehyung to answer won’t solve anything either.
“Well then, your health is improving exponentially, so you’ll be discharged soon. If you still can’t remember who you are, then we have to figure out where you can stay.”
The doctor gets up and leaves the room. Waiting in the hallway is Sheriff Tusk, his arms crossed. They look at each other, disappointed looks on their faces.
“Anything?” Tusk asks.
The doctor shakes his head. “I can’t get anything out of him. He’s got the mentally of a child stuck in a man’s body. Despite that, he’s recovering at a rapid pace, faster than an average person. His internal injuries are practically gone and all he has left is for his scar to go away. But...something did happen last night.”
“What?”
“That city chick, (Y/N), snuck in here.”
Sheriff Tusk throws his head back. “What in the hell…? For what?”
“To drop off some gifts for him.”
“...You don’t think she’s tryna coerce him? She is the reason why he’s here.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I have no clue. I’m not sure if you remember, but she’s the one with the missing sister.”
“Oh, that’s the girl? Why the hell is she back here for?”
“From what Margaret said, she and her friend are here to write a book.”
Sheriff Tusk sighs, running his hand through his beard. “Fucking shit...It’s already enough that those goddamn contractors keep coming back…”
“Well, technically the girls aren’t causing harm, so far. I can have Margaret keep an eye on them.”
“Alright...I’ll continue with the investigation. For now, make sure that that young man doesn’t leave. Once I get things together, I have a few questions for him too.”
The doctor nods and Tusk walks off. Once the sheriff walks out of the building, he turns around and returns to Taehyung’s room. But when he opens the door, he nearly has a heart attack from Taehyung, who stands inches away from the door.
“Jesus Christ…! What are you doing out of bed?!”
“I heard you say (Y/N). Is she here?”
He thought that he and the sheriff were speaking quietly, so he wasn’t expecting Taehyung to eavesdrop, but he forgot that the walls are thin. He’s worried that he might’ve heard what they said, but he simply stares at the doctor with curious, naive eyes.
“No, she isn’t.”
“Do you know when she’s coming back?”
“No idea. Just go to bed.”
The demand from the doctor saddens Taehyung. He drops his head, slugging his feet across the room and back to his bed. Just like what Tusk said, the doctor is concerned that you might’ve influenced him to ruin the investigation between you and him, but it seems like he really likes you.
He puts his hands in his pocket. “Taehyung, be truthful with me. Did (Y/N) say anything to you?”
Taehyung rummages through his pockets and shows the doctor a handful of plucked petals and candy wrappers. “She showed me how to eat candy and gave me flowers. When you eat it, you have to take off this cover-thingy…” He pinches the wrapper.
“Mm-hm, okay. Anything else?”
“...Hm...oh, she also seemed kind of sad.”
“She what?”
He tries copying what you did last night, raising his head up and staring at the ceiling. “She wasn’t crying like a baby, but her eyes got watery.”
It’s no surprise. When the doctor first saw you, you seemed like a broken person upon first glance. But he didn’t want to say anything, believing it might’ve been too sensitive of him.
“...I think she hates me.”
“Hm? What makes you think that?”
“You said that she told you that she threw a rock at me and was angry, then she looked sad when she was with me. I think I hurt her before I forgot my memories.” He has a sullen look on his face.
Pitiful is what the doctor would describe Taehyung. His way of thinking is too pure...too black and white. There’s no complexity in him, so if the doctor were to discharge him, he would have no chance of surviving out there.
He leans over and pats Taehyung on the back. “She said that it was an accident and is sorry. Forget about it.”
“...But I can’t...How do you make someone forgive you?”
“You can’t make someone forgive you. Even if you’re the one who made the mistake, it’s up to the other person if they can fully accept what you’ve done,” he pokes Taehyung’s forehead. “Sometimes you think that seeking forgiveness comes from others, but it’s also forgiving yourself with what you’ve done.”
It’s too confusing for Taehyung to grasp what he means.
“But that’s saying if you really did something awful to her. Do you know if you actually hurt her?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I...don’t know. I think I did, but I can’t remember. I just don’t want to see her sad.”
The doctor can see the clear self-frustration in Taehyung. He’s convinced that he wronged you, but the real challenge comes from how he did it. But seeing him battle with himself, it leaves the doctor with a lingering thought… “I know you told her not to see me...but is it okay if I see her again? I want to say sorry to her.”
The doctor hums, thinking about that request. “I can’t make promises, but we’ll see.”
“Okay, thank you!”
———
“Don’t bother seeing him again.”
“What?!”
Later that day, the doctor came to visit you and Kim at your inn to drop the request. “You trespassed into private property and caused mental harm to my patient. And don’t you think it’s smarter to leave him alone, especially when you’re being suspected of physically harming him?”
“…I know what this is about.” You clench your fists.
“Miss (Y/N), please don’t…”
“You’re just doing this to spite us! You hate people from the city, so you’re treating us like shit!”
“Miss (Y/N)!”
“That’s what you think. But you shouldn’t be talking to someone who took the time to nurse you back to health.”
“Don’t use that excuse to justify your shitty behavior!!”
With your face turning red, Kim gets up and pulls you back from the doctor. You jerk your hands off.
“I don’t need an excuse when we have people here taking advantage of my town and the people living here for money. If you want to make money somewhere else, then do that instead, not my home.” He walks away.
“WAIT! COME BACK HERE!!” You shout.
“Miss (Y/N), stop it!!” Kim aggressively pulls you back, shutting the door to prevent you from running out. “What the fuck is going on with you?!”
“Don’t you see it?? He’s just doing that because he fucking hates us! I’m not doing shit to Taehyung!!”
“But he’s a doctor, you should listen to him!”
“Degree or no degree, you don’t need a Ph.D to be a complete asshole.”
“I can tell! Talk about yourself!” She blurts out suddenly.
However, she covers her mouth, regretting immediately with what she said. Her words pierce your heart, but in all honesty, you needed that slap in the face. You weren’t looking at yourself to realize how much trouble you were causing for others.
“Miss (Y/N), I’m so sorry I…”
“No...it’s okay. I needed that.”
“...But please...stop lying that you’re fine. You make it very obvious that something's bothering you.”
You sigh. “...I hate feeling guilty. It’s like...it’s all I could think of, and I hate it. That’s probably why I really want to see him. I can’t let this go.”
That heaviness in your chest caused by guilt is unfathomably painful—so heavy that it’s suffocating. You’re aware of your obsessive nature, and you’d like to control it, but it’s been so deeply rooted into your blood that even if you try to get rid of it, it’s almost impossible. That’s why it’s easier to pretend that the problem never existed rather than solve it.
“I’m sorry, Kim, for dragging you into this.”
Unlike the other conversations that they had before, it truly feels like you’re fully present. Your mind isn’t floating somewhere else, but here.
“It’s okay...people are bound to have their slip-ups. Just...listen to the doctor. I don’t want us to be kicked out.”
You bite on your thumb, not exactly agreeing to Kim, but just as she said, you don’t want to be forced out of town either.
———
Late at night, Taehyung is laying in bed, staring out the window as he counts the number of stars, even though he can count as far as ten. After hitting ten, he restarts and would end up counting the same stars repeatedly.
He hears a knock at the door, then the door creaking open.
“Hello…? Taehyung, are you here?”
Your voice brings a smile to his face, straightening his back. “I’m here!”
“Shh…” You peer over the corner of the wall. “The doctor is asleep.”
“Oh, okay. Did the doctor tell you to visit me again?”
“Ah ha ha...yea.” You avert your eyes.
He hears the rustling of the grocery bag in your hands. Curious, he looks down. “What’s in there?”
He bounces up and down excitedly. You take out the components in the bag, showing him some fruits and drinks. He’s in awe at the different foods you display on the bed, making his mouth water.
“Peaches!”
He picks up the pink fuzzball, almost taking a bite out of it before you take it away from him. “Wait!”
He slumps his shoulders, pouting.
“I didn’t get the chance to clean it, then I’ll cut it for you.”
You rush to the bathroom, rinsing the fruit before returning. In the bag, you take out a small pocket knife, cutting the skin and slicing it into pieces. He stares at it with wide eyes in awe, impressed by your cutting skills, even though it’s nowhere near astonishing.
You give him a piece, and he takes it, shoving it into his mouth and overwhelmed by the sweetness. “This is better than candy.”
“It’s more refreshing, isn’t it? I thought that since last time I brought you some unhealthy snacks, I’d give you healthier options. Well...that’s what I thought...but I couldn’t help but buy something else.”
You wipe your hands down on your jeans, but the stickiness from the fruit juice remains. You take out a can of soda, showing it to him, but leaving him confused. He creases his eyebrows, scratching his chin as if he’s trying to interpret what he’s looking at.
“...This is cola. You’ve had them before, right?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never seen it.”
You open the can, the click of the carbonated fizz leaks out from inside. He’s so impressed by it, moving closer to the drink and smell the faint flavor of the cola.
You put it into his hand, and he hesitantly takes a sip. However, he gives a distasteful look, his face cringing from the strong fizziness of the drink. The face he makes makes it impossible for you not to laugh.
“It’s nasty…”
“I’m sure that if you keep drinking it, then you’ll love it for sure.”
He shakes his head, eating more peaches to get rid of the taste. Throughout the night, you show him the many different fruits, and he takes a bite with each one of them. No matter what it is, it will always astonish him, so keen to learn more.
Before you know it, hours have gone by, but it feels as though it’s only been minutes.
“How’s your head?” You ask.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore, but the doctor is always asking me if I remember anything,” he makes a raspberry noise with his lips, falling onto the pillow. “That’s all we talk about.”
“Well...do you remember anything?”
He looks around suspiciously as if he’s making sure that there’s nobody else in the room. He leans over as if he’s going to whisper a deep, dark secret. “Don’t tell anybody, but I do remember a few things.”
“You do?”
He nods. “I remember them in frames, like still pictures. It’s foggy, but there are parts that came back to me.”
“What do you remember?” You lean closer.
“There’s a lot of snow, and I was sitting on the ground. It was really...really cold. Also, everyone looked taller and angry.”
Although it’s great that he has some memories come back to him, they’re vague. His memory is no different than how some of the townspeople treat you.
“Anything else?”
“...Oh, yea. There’s also a large cave in the forest too. I went there a lot.”
The mention of a save makes you shudder, and that’s when a wave of memories return for you. You know exactly which cave he’s talking about...the one you and Annie went to. You hug yourself, trying to forget about it.
“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”
You blink profusely, nodding your head. “Y-yea...I’m fine. Taehyung, I have to ask you something.”
“Hm?”
“Did you...by any chance, ever run into a bear? Or a child? At the cave?”
He stares at the ceiling, shaking his head. “No.”
“...Do you even know about the Winter Bear story?”
He shakes his head again.
“...It’s...about a grizzly bear who’s the only bear in the entire world that doesn’t sleep during winter. Because of that, he gets lonely, so he kidnaps kids.”
Your knee begins shaking violently, motioning up and down at rapid speed. Taehyung’s eyes are fixated on your anxious knee.
“He...took my little sister a long time ago, and...it’s my fault. He...paid attention to me, and I liked it. And truth be told, I loathed my sister as much as I loved her.”
His eyebrows crease, not quite knowing what ‘loathed’ means.
“My parents, especially my mom, loved her to death. I still don’t know why. It might be because she was the baby of the family or if it’s ‘cause she resembles my mom a lot, but she was always favored. And imagine the horror that unfolded when they heard that their favorite child went missing and their least favorite child is to be blamed for.” You laugh at yourself.
You will never forget the look of terror on your mother’s face when you returned with your clothes torn and freezing. It wasn’t because of the state that you were in, but the fact that you returned without Annie. She immediately went around town, asking for help, and everybody searched to no avail. Your mother never directly stated that it was your fault, but the way she looked at you like she was going to throw up.
You so desperately wanted to apologize to her, but each time you tried it, she would change the subject. If you were insistent in talking about it, she would become violent. Items being thrown to the floor, her blood-curdling screams, those wide, gaping eyes glaring down at you like you’re vermin. It made you afraid of your own mother. That’s why you tried to bury your memories, and when you did, you either emotionally detached yourself or changed your thoughts to something else, just like how your mother did.
But every time you did think about your sister, you felt that immense guilt gulping you up. You would become manic—wanting to do anything possible to seek forgiveness. You would return to that fragile, little girl who wanted her mother’s love.
Taehyung searches through his pockets, giving you one of the candies that you gave to him. Some of the wrappers fall out of his pocket as well, but he ignores them. You raise an eyebrow, but he nudges for you to take it. It’s the watermelon flavor candy.
“The candies are so sweet there’s no room for bitterness. That’s what I learned after eating so much of it.”
You take it from his hand, unwrapping it and putting it in your mouth. And just like what he said, your tongue is overflowing with the sweet, sweet watermelon. When you look up at Taehyung’s face, making proper eye contact with him for the first time, you notice something odd. His expression is blank, but tears are falling.
You let out a single laughter. “Why are you the one crying?”
He didn’t need to say anything for you to know that he sympathizes, maybe even empathizes, with you. It always felt like when you said something, you got attacked in return. Whether it be Suniya nagging at you, Kim criticizing your rash behavior, those faceless comments on your article bashing you, or even your mother neglecting you when you tried mending the relationship, it felt like everything you did was a mistake. No one wanted to listen to you, and it made you scared to be honest.
He brushes your bangs away to get a better look at your face. Even though you barely know him, it feels like he’s been your longtime friend. Without thinking, you drop yourself onto him, hiding your face in his chest. You hold him tightly, silently crying on his shirt. He’s confused, as stiff as a rock. He slowly sets his hands on your back like an amateur hugger. But you’re no different either since you’re just as awkward as he is.
“I’m...sorry.” He apologizes.
You laugh through the sobs. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”
He doesn’t reply.
You forgot how sticky your hands are—Taehyung’s lint gets stuck on the palm of your hands. You rarely talk about yourself, but with Taehyung, it feels oddly comfortable around him. Just the look of his eyes alone, you knew that he wasn’t going to judge you. You didn’t need to get defensive because you felt safe.
“Thanks for listening to me.”
———
You peek through the crack of the door, waving at him one more time before leaving. He waves back, mouthing the words, ‘please come back soon’. You nod, gently closing the door. You sigh, slightly embarrassed for breaking down earlier. It’s not every day that you have a heart-to-heart conversation with someone, so it was new. But you can’t hide that little smirk on your face, like some of that weight on yours has been alleviated.
“Seems like no matter how many times I tell you, you think you’re superior to me.”
Startled, you nearly scream when you cover your mouth. You spin around and meet eyes with the doctor who seems unsurprised that you’re here.
“Uhm...I can explain.”
“No need. I give up on trying to convince you.”
“...Really?”
“I don’t know what you want from that kid, but it doesn’t seem like it’s bad. Just don’t pick on him.”
“I’m not.”
“Even if I did tell you to stop, you’ll just continue breaking in late at night.” He walks off.
That felt...a bit too easy. You thought that he was going to put up more of a fight, but it might be because of old age or because of your stubbornness, he was quick to throw in the towel. However, you aren’t complaining about this and if anything, plays in your favor.
———
For the next few days, you have been visiting Taehyung. You two wouldn’t do much but talk, and these conversations would go on for hours. For once, it didn’t feel like your life was single-colored, and his liveliness was contagious. You found yourself laughing and smiling a lot more than usual. But it isn’t as if you two are doing anything spectacular, just talking.
There are traits of him that you’ve noticed. He has these moments where he’s easy to read, like a child, but there are other times when he’ll blank out and you have no idea what’s in his mind. He’s always curious about the world and whenever there’s something that he doesn’t know, he would ask you. He doesn’t ask the doctor and always goes to you first.
“Taehyung?” You peek through the doors.
No reply. Instead, you hear the shower going off in the bathroom, so he must be taking a shower. You thought about waiting in the lobby, not wanting to scare him when he’s out of the shower, but you also think it’s better to stay. Even though you and the doctor came to terms, it’s still uncomfortable being in the same room as him since he hasn’t let go of his distaste for city people yet. Despite treating you horribly, the doctor isn’t harsh with Taehyung. There are times when he loses patience with him, but never gets angry.
And speaking of Taehyung, you’re startled when you hear a thud in the bathroom. Alerted, you rush to the room, twisting the doorknob and seeing him on the ground, completely wet. You get down on your knees, placing your hands on his shoulders.
“Oh, (Y/N), you’re here.”
“Are you okay?! What were you trying to do?”
“I tried turning on the water faucet, but I couldn’t turn the handle. I think I put too much strength and slipped after it turned on.”
“You should’ve asked the doctor for help,” you brush his hair. “Geez, your bandages are wet.”
“I do ask him, but he always looks like he’s annoyed at me every time I ask. I don’t wanna bother him anymore, so I wanted to try and do it myself.”
You groan. That damn doctor, only thinking for himself. “Don’t force yourself to do things especially since you’re still recovering. You should be resting instead.”
“...I’ve always done things by myself,” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Whenever I asked someone, they would always get angry.”
“Says who?”
“...Says everyone.”
‘Everyone’? You don’t know anyone other than you, Sheriff Tusk, and the doctor who visits him. Margaret would ask about him from you every so often, but you aren’t sure if she comes by either. Whatever it is, it’s bothering Taehyung, so much so that he’s so gloomy.
“Hey, you can always rely on me.”
He stares at you with wide eyes, but then he looks away, defeating himself before he gets the chance to smile. “But...you aren’t here all the time.”
“Well...good point,” you contemplate. “It’s not always possible, but just call my name and I’ll come to the rescue.”
It’s unrealistic. Obviously, you’re no superhero who can pop up to save the world with a single cry of help. You don’t want to give him hope and be disappointed when you don’t fulfill it. You feel like a parent—giving shallow promises just to shove his worries away, but at the same time, you’re being genuine.
“It’s a small town. I’m sure I can hear your voice. Besides, you were in trouble and I came in time to save you,” you pat him on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s change your clothes.”
You grab him from under his arm, helping him get up. You walk with him to his bed. Once he sits down, you look through the cabinets for towels, finding a white hand cloth folded on the third shelf. You go back to him, using the cloth to massage it over his wet hair, but not too aggressive to affect his injury. Whenever you wipe too hard, Taehyung’s face would scrunch up and he would put his hand on your wrist.
“(Y/N), do you have a family?”
“Hm? What’s this all of a sudden?”
“I’m just curious about you.”
“I do. I have a mom and a dad and...that’s it.”
“...Do you live with them?”
You shake your head. “I live alone.”
“Why?”
“It’s because...my parents and I don’t get along. After Annie went missing, my parents got divorced and I lived with my mom for a while. But I couldn’t stand living with her anymore so after I graduated high school, I moved out and lived on my own.”
“What does divorce mean?”
“You don’t know what it means?”
He shakes his head. “I heard people use it, but I never really knew what it meant.”
“It’s when a married couple doesn’t want to be together anymore and decides to separate.”
“Oh…”
“What about you? Do you remember your family?”
“A little bit. I don’t remember my dad, but I do remember some things about my mom. I think my mom left my dad when I was very young, so I lived with her. But we ran away from home and moved to a new place. I don’t know how she looks, but she always took care of me. And she always had bruises, too. But I don’t remember why.”
Your ears perk up when he brings up the notion of bruises. It definitely stands out. It makes you a little worried about what sort of environment Taehyung lived in prior to losing his memories.
“She also dressed differently from you. Actually...everyone from my memories doesn’t dress like you or the doctor or the policeman.” He tries to recollect his memories, but it only frustrates him more.
“Okay, okay. Don’t give yourself a headache. Take your time to remember everything.”
You continue to dry his head until you think it’s done. But just as you were about to leave, Taehyung places his hands on your waist to stop you from leaving.
Your cheeks turn red. “Tae-Taehyung? What are you doing?”
“Thank you…(Y/N), for visiting me all the time. Even though I’m a good-for-nothing, you keep me company.”
You scoff. “No one called you a good-for-nothing. And if anyone did, just ignore them.”
Without thinking, you pat him on the head, running your fingers through his damp hair. He peeks one eye out to look at your face, but when you two make eye contact, he quickly hides back into your stomach.
“You won’t leave me? I don’t have to be alone anymore, right?”
There’s no reason for him to question you, and you know full well that that can’t be the case. After all, you’re here for work, not to make friends. However, you can’t bring yourself to break his heart. The way his voice deepened, his tone sounding so...solemn. Like he experienced trauma that he never wants to go through again.
“I promise.”
And with that vow, he raises his head up, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes become smaller from how wide his smile is.
“I really like you, (Y/N), you know that?”
Your heart nearly skips a beat, then your ears turn red. You fan your face, telling yourself not to misread what he said. “Me too. I’m glad we’re friends.”
He raises his head up, a little upset. “That’s not what I mean.”
“What?”
“I mean…never mind.”
———
“Count very slowly to twenty, okay honey?”
A younger version of Taehyung nods his head.
“Close your eyes and cover them with your hands. Don’t peek because if you do, then you’re cheating. People don’t like cheaters.”
He nods again. “Are we playing hide and seek like the kids?”
In the middle of the forest, the woman has Taehyung stand against a dead tree. The woman cups his cheek with her icy hands, brushing his curly bangs back as she looks like she’s trying to fight the urge to cry. Her lips are curled inward, and she opens her mouth to speak. But finding difficulty in letting one word out, she lets out a shaky sigh, averting her eyes from Taehyung.
He can’t keep his eyes off of the purple and green bruises on her frail arms. His mother is so thin that she doesn’t have any fat in her. She doesn't even have muscles—she’s skin and bones. Her eyes look sunken, like her eyes are shrinking. However, Taehyung didn’t think too much about her mother’s malnourishment because his body looks just like hers.
“Y-yes. You know that I love you, right?”
He nods for the third time.
“O...okay...if you love me, th-then close your eyes and don’t peek. And remember: you’re a strong bear—so strong that you can withstand the winter cold.”
He covers his eyes with his hands, counting from one. His mother waves her hand in front of him. When he doesn’t jolt from her hand, she takes this chance to flee. He keeps counting even after being the only one in the forest.
“Eight...nine...ten...elevephen...twelve...fo...four...four…? Fiveteen...si-six…” He loses count, though he thought it was strange that his mother made him count to twenty even though he can barely count to ten. “...Mom?”
———
“I came from Korea.”
In the room, the sheriff is keeping record as Taehyung continues.
“I think...my mom and I immigrated here a long, long time ago. She said that we had a better chance of living here than there.”
“By ‘long time ago,’ can you give me a specific time frame?”
“...I can’t. It was too long that I don’t know.”
While he tries to recall his past, he looks out the window and notices you with Kim. Unlike the stoic faces he made, his eyes light up, losing interest on the sheriff and onto you. Tusk glances over to you, clearly sensing the light-hearted vibe coming from Taehyung.
He walks over to the window, raising his eyebrow. “You and that girl have gotten quite close.”
“I like it when she’s here.”
“Even though she’s the reason why you’re here in the first place?”
His smile disappears. The doctor and policeman are always dragging him down with pessimism, so he doesn’t like it when they talk to him.
“She did hurt me, but she’s trying her best to make it up. What she did is wrong, but I forgive her.”
But Sheriff Tusk doesn’t seem convinced. He sighs, closing his notepad. “Well, this is definitely a step forward. It looks like I’ll let (Y/N) off the hook, and I’m confident that you didn’t harm her either that night. If there’s anything else that comes up, then update me whenever you can.”
“Okay.”
———
You glance through Taehyung’s window, only able to see the top of his head. You aren’t sure what he’s doing, but you pray that he’s resting. You’re so distracted that you weren’t watching where you were going and nearly tripped over a rock hidden in the snow.
“Be careful!”
“I’m okay…”
“What were you looking at?” Kim looks up at the direction you were staring at, then she understands. “Is it Taehyung?”
You nod.
“You two became fast friends. I would’ve never thought that it’d be possible.”
“I guess it is.”
“What do you guys even talk about? You’ll go visit and be gone for hours.”
“Anything, but he likes talking about food mainly. Though, he likes almost everything that I bring in.” You smile unconsciously.
Seeing your cheeks turn red, that’s when it hits Kim. She smirks, elbowing you on the arm. “I get it.”
“What?”
“You like him, don’t you?”
“H-huh? What? N...No! Not like that.”
Not this again. You already went through this with Margaret, and you don’t want another misconception...right? You’re actually embarrassed to hear that in contrast to how indifferent you were when Margaret brought it up.
This is the first for Kim to see you in this state. You always appeared calm and collected—making almost every decision without hesitation. Having your more vulnerable side present makes you seem more human.
“If you try to deny it in that tone, obviously I’m going to assume the other way around! You two hit it off pretty well in the beginning…I mean...You two got along great. You were even begging to see him.”
“Th...that…!”
“Why are you getting so shy? You’re a grown woman, no need to hide how you feel. You act like this is your first crush.” She laughs.
But when you don’t laugh along with her, that’s when she knew that her joke was true.
“Wait...you’ve never liked someone before?! I don’t mean to judge but...of all your years, you’ve never once dated??? Not even had a crush on someone??”
“Yea, I’ve never liked anyone before, but why are you assuming that I like Taehyung…?”
“You make it more obvious than the sky being blue. I’m not gonna lie, Taehyung is pretty handsome. Maybe if he didn’t act childish then I would’ve probably liked him too.”
“It’s not that he’s childish...More like, he’s very curious. But as I said, I don’t like him in that sort of way.”
“Mm-hmm, you can deny it all you want. It seems like Taehyung’s into you, too. Well...no doubt since you’re the only person to ever talk to him and is around his age.”
You like being around him, but you’re not sure if you like him in that sort of way. You two barely met a few weeks ago, so it’s too premature to be walking through romance territory. Despite it being a few weeks, it truly does feel like you two have known each other for a long time though.
“Well, don’t be in denial for too long. We don’t have much time here until the train comes back, and I don’t think you would want to leave with regrets.”
“I know.”
You don’t like thinking about that. It’ll dishearten him, as well as you, when the time comes. But eventually, you have to tell him that you’re going back home.
“...You said that you’d like him if he wasn’t childish...What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Why are you so curious? I meant what I said.”
“So you’re saying you have a chance with him?”
She’s confused, but it takes her a while before realizing your intentions. She elbows your ribcage, laughing. “You’re jealous!”
“I’m...I’m not! I’m just wondering…!”
Kim never realized how easy it is to read you at times. You and Kim continue your conversation until you two return to the inn. As you two walk off, Taehyung watches from his window.
———
“Who’s the lady with you?”
“Lady?”
You’re in the hospital room, peeling the skin of an apple with a knife. The snow has been getting heavier these days and it’s been like this for a while now. The sky has become cloudy, and there’s no sign of the sun anywhere.
“She was with you when you first came here, too.”
“Oh, Kim? We’re acquaintances. We barely know each other.”
“Really?”
“Yea.”
“Oh, okay. I thought you two were friends.”
“No, not really. She’s a nice woman though. Why do you ask?”
He keeps quiet, picking on his blanket as he sulks.
“I don’t have that many friends. The only other person that I talk to is my agent.”
His eyes widen.
“Hm? What’s wrong?”
“I thought you didn’t have anybody…”
You aren’t sure where he’s going with this. You set the sliced apples down on a plate, giving one to him to which he takes.
“I know a lot of people. It’s a part of my job as a journalist.”
“Are you...close with any of them?”
You’re confused with why he’s interested in your personal relationships. That’s when you get the hint, making you smile. “I’m not close with any of them.”
He sighs in relief and you laugh. Surprised by your laughter, he becomes embarrassed. “Wh-what??”
“Are you trying to make me feel bad about not having that many friends?”
He seems confused, so you realized that your initial assumption was wrong. His cheeks turn red, pouting. “That’s not it.”
You tilt your head, confused.
“I thought you didn’t have any friends or close family, so I was surprised with how close you were with that lady.”
“I know a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean that I’m close with them,” after Taehyung finishes one apple slice, you give him another. “Every relationship that I have with someone is different from the other. Like you and Kim for example. Kim is like my current work partner, and you’re…like a friend.”
It’s unusual to call somebody your friend. It was so easy for you to push others away, but Taehyung is the first person that you want to be close with. There was something about him that attracted you—like a fly buzzing toward a light.
And like an attractive light, Taehyung’s smile is just as bright. “I’m glad that I’m your friend.”
“Yea...me too.”
You thought about what Kim said, about how you feel about Taehyung. Of course, he’s a joy to be around—that bubbly yet curious personality of his is hard to dislike. It’s the sort of trait you don’t see too often in adults, especially in the big city, so it’s a breath of fresh air.
You peer over at the window, and it doesn’t seem like the weather is going to calm down. If anything, it looks like it’s going to get worse overnight. It’s so bad that you can’t even see a few feet in front of you.
“Oh no, it looks like there’s going to be a blizzard.”
The inn isn’t that far, and if anything, it won’t be an issue crossing over. But that isn’t the problem. Just the thought of going through a blizzard makes you feel...uncomfortable. Unwanted emotions return, the kind that darkens your mind.
Taehyung can sense the tension, so he thinks of something to bring you back. “Will you be okay?”
“Yea...I think so.”
But he isn’t convinced. Your face says it all, and you don’t want to go out there. He contemplates, then a light bulb turns on when an idea sparks.
“How about you stay here for the night?”
“Huh? No, I’m fine. It’s just snow, and this is a place for patients. I don’t want to take up space.”
“No one comes here and it gets a little lonely at night. If you go out tonight, you might get sick, then you’ll have to stay here for sure.”
“What are the chances that I get sick? Besides, the doctor might not—”
“I don’t mind.” The doctor shouts from the lobby.
His voice catches you by surprise. You didn’t think he could hear you two talk, so now it makes you conscious about how much he’s eavesdropped. The walls truly are thin here.
“See? Stay here tonight.” He reaches over, grabbing your hand.
His thumb strokes your knuckles and he gives you puppy eyes. You can’t say no to him when he gives you that look. You cover your mouth, hiding your burning cheeks as well.
“Okay...I’ll sleep in the room next door. Do you know if the doctor has any spare toothbrushes?”
“Yes, I do.” He shouts from the lobby again.
You sigh, wondering how much he’ll keep listening. “Thanks…”
———
You and Taehyung are brushing your teeths in the same bathroom. While you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, Taehyung is fixated on you. He’s trying to copy how you brush your teeth. Whenever you brush your right teeth, he does the same. When you move to your left, he does that as well. When you spit out the foam, he does the same.
After washing your face, you head to your room, and Taehyung follows. You look behind, stopping, and he stops as well. He’s holding a pillow and blanket, giving you the hint that he wants to sleep with you.
“What are you doing?” Even though you know, you still want to ask.
“I want to go to the same room. I don’t like sleeping alone.”
“But isn’t your room fine as it is?”
“Yea but...it doesn’t have you in there.”
You blush. “But sleeping in the same room is…”
He tilts his head, puzzled. With that innocent look on his face, you don’t want to say any further.
“Anyway, we shouldn’t sleep in the room.”
“But we stay in the same room during the day, and for a long time too. What’s wrong about sleeping in the same room?”
“It’s just…”
You know that he won’t do anything to you, but just the thought of sleeping in the same room is a bit too much. You truly are immature—being a woman in her mid-twenties and is still conscious about sleeping in a room with a man, not even the same bed.
“Is it because there’s only bed? You can sleep there and I can sleep on the couch! If you don’t like that, then I can move my bed into your room and—”
“That’s not it. We’re just going to be next door, so if you ever need anything, then just knock.”
He looks disappointed, but he doesn’t push further. “Okay…”
“Then...good night.”
“Good night.”
You walk to the room, and you look behind one more time, waving. He smiles and waves back. It’s saddening to see him look forward to sleeping in the same room as you, but you don’t want to push boundaries. You keep telling yourself that this decision is for the better.
———
The children are having a snowball fight. Just on the outskirts of the small town, the kids build fortresses out of snow, using it as a shield to avoid the offense team. They’re running around and laughing, thankful for it to be snowing so they can play.
But approaching them with small steps is Taehyung, still as a child, his hands clasped to his thin jacket. He’s shaking violently, his skin so pale and frozen cold. His hair is a mess, dirt marks smeared all over his skin. His bottom lip trembles and has turned blue, but he still smiles.
His stench can be smelled from the distance, disrupting their fun. The smell of sweat is Taehyung’s signature scent, like a foreboding sign that he’s drawing near. He’s gotten skinnier since the last time he came to Little Bare. Bags hide underneath his eyes, his round cheeks absent.
“It’s Taehyung. Run away!”
The children hide behind the fortresses, and this hurts Taehyung. However, he remains determined and keeps smiling. “Can...I play with you guys?”
But his request isn’t heard. The children are occupied with making snowballs, combining it with the rocks on the ground to create spiky snowballs. They make enough to form a pile. They start throwing them at Taehyung, and although the first few miss, some hit his body.
He raises his hands up, using his hands to block his face. He runs off, but right at the last moment, one child is able to nail a snowball perfectly at the back of his head. THACK! Only he heard the impact to his head. It was hard enough that he fell forward, his face landing first.
The children laugh. “Hurry! Run before the hungry boy eats us!!”
They skip away to their homes. He loses consciousness for a few seconds before groaning. His head pulsates, touching where it hurts but immediately pulls his hand away because of how painful it is. Underneath his breath, he calls for his mother. He calls for her many times, but no matter how many times, she doesn’t return to rescue him.
Still, he wants to believe that his mother will return. She’ll return to him to make him a warm meal under a roof. He’ll finally get to eat candy like the rest of the kids, and maybe, just maybe, the kids will let him play with them. But for now, he has to prove that he’s strong in hopes that his mother will want him back.
As he gets up, limping as his desire to conform with the kids slowly turns into disgust. The animosity grows as strong as the dizziness that blurs his vision. He limps for what felt like hours until he returns to his new home—a large, ominous cave. The mouth of the cave is dark and hollow, like it can suck anyone of any size in.
He leans on the rocky walls, scratching his arm while dragging his body deeper into the darkness. He places his hand on the wall, leaving bloody handprints and smearing them as he moves. He falters, landing face first, which worsens the damage to the head. He turns his head to the left, and there’s a mysterious marking of a grizzly bear with strange symbols around it. It’s been there ever since he found the cave.
His vision blackens as his eyelids become heavier. One tear drops from his eye, apologizing to his mother that he couldn’t be as strong as she hoped for. Within two weeks of her disappearance, he’s giving up. Fighting became a chore, and now sleeping seems like a better option.
And thus, he closes his eyes for good. And the last thing he thought of was a wish. A wish that he could’ve made at least one friend.
But before he does, the drawing of the grizzly bear on the wall begins to glow.
———-
Taehyung gasps for air, clawing at his throat. He felt pressure on his chest, and it was so clustered that he could’ve sworn that he stopped breathing. He sits up, not realizing that he had been crying in his sleep. Looking down at his pillow, there’s a large puddle of tears and on his eyes as well.
He brings his knees closer to him, covering his ears as he squeezes his eyes shut. Stop it. I don’t want them anymore, he repeats in his head. His memories are terrifying, as if every time he goes back in the past, all it ever becomes is jumping straight into a nightmare. Waking up from an unwanted dream makes this damp room seem scarier, like there’s no one to protect him.
“(Y/N)...” You’re the first person to come to mind. But when he calls for your name, you’re not there. He recalls that you’re sleeping in the room next door.
He gets out of bed, grabbing his pillow and blanket as he walks out of the room. He drags his feet to your room, knocking on the door.
“(Y/N)? Are you asleep?”
There’s no response. He looks at both ends of the hallway, paranoid that some evil ghost is going to appear in either direction. He clutches onto the pillow tighter.
“(Y/N)?”
The calm snow has turned into a blizzard again, and the gales whistle in the cracks of the windows. The wind shakes violently against the window, almost like a robber trying to break in. It scares him more, so he lowers his head, praying that you heard him.
“(Y/N)? Are you there?”
It reminds him of his childhood after his mother left. After wandering in the forest for a long time, he found a cave. While he was excited to live there, nighttime was never his favorite. The large opening left him vulnerable to wild animals to potentially attack him. And standing at the center of the hall reminds him of that, that exposure of his body to the cold world, his life taken away at any second.
“I’m scared...so please…”
The doorknob twists, startling him. He gasps, holding his breath in, but he lets it go when it was you that opened it. You’re rubbing your eyes, yawning. “Taehyung? What are you doing up so late?”
He hastily enters your room, closing the door for you. “Is it okay if I sleep here?”
You don’t make an immediate response, which scares him that you’ll decline.
“I had a nightmare.”
It might be because you’re half-asleep, but it doesn’t take that much persuasion to let him sleep. “Alright...but sleep on the couch.”
“Okay!” He takes baby steps to the couch, placing his pillow by the arm rest and lays down. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Sleep tight.” And just like that, you go to bed.
Taehyung watches you sleep, seeing as you’ve already knocked out within seconds. He tries to fall asleep as well, but no matter how many times he tosses and turns, he can’t sleep. He’s gotten comfortable being the person he is now, happy to be here and seeing you every day, not the depressed child who was abandoned by everyone.
Some time has gone by, and he still can’t sleep. He’s staring at the ceiling, listening to you breathe steadily. The nightmare he had is as vivid as ever, experiencing the phantom pain that came with the head injury.
“(Y/N)? Are you still awake?” Without a response, it tells Taehyung that you’re not.
He sits up, staring at you. He gives it a few seconds before getting out of bed. He stands over your bed before making the rash decision to sleep next to you.
He lays down, his face just mere inches away from yours. Despite being so close, he finds your face mesmerizing. He’s so close that he can feel your breathing.
Taehyung wanted to lay next to you just to see how it’s like to sleep next to someone. It’s so comforting knowing that there’s someone next to him, like the paranoia has been swept away. The longer he stares at you, the redder his face turns. Even though it’s the middle of winter, his face feels hot. He sees you every day, but he can’t understand why he’s nervous now.
He wants to move closer, but your hand is in between your and his face. Rather than move it away, he bites his bottom lip in contemplation. He’s already crossing the line, so he’s afraid that you’ll push him away if he tries too much.
He puts his hand over yours, intertwining his fingers. Your hands are smaller than he thought, his palm already engulfing it. Not only that, but your hand is so warm. Your fingers jolt, which nearly made him pull his hand away. But after that, you’re still. He sighs in relief.
Laying next to him is you, the person who’s taken care of him since the beginning. Judging on his fragmented memories, you’re the first person to ever fight to be with him. It doesn’t matter the reason, he’s just happy that someone thinks that he’s worth it. But at the same time, you’re the person who got him into this mess. You’re the one who threw that rock, just like the other kids. You made his head bleed like how they did. And yet…
He forgives you.
He gently presses his forehead against your forehead. He wished you could stay with him forever so that he can never experience abandonment again. Taehyung is afraid that you’ll end up being like his mother—crying for your name but you never coming to his rescue.
———
The blizzard has died down, and the blaring sun blinds your eyes. You flutter your eyes open, using your arm to cover them from the light. You sit up, exhaling as your vision adjusts to the morning rays.
“Good morning!” Taehyung exclaims as he opens the windows.
You had forgotten that he slept here last night. Even though it’s early in the morning, Taehyung is as energetic as usual.
“Did you sleep well?” You rub your eyes.
“Better than ever.”
You barely remember what happened last night. You know you got up to open the door, but after that, it was a blur. Taehyung also looks chirpier than usual, though you don’t know why. It could be because he got what he wanted and sleep in the same room as you. Whatever the reason, you’re glad that he’s smiling.
As you get out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up, he glances at you. His smile is gone, contemplating some thoughts in his head.
In the bathroom, you splash water in your face after brushing your teeth. You look at yourself in the mirror and massage your cheeks, feeling a little conscious about making weird faces in your sleep. You hope that you didn’t make any noises during the night either.
You walk out of the door, startled when Taehyung turns out to be just by the entrance. “Whoa! Sorry, did I almost hit you?”
But he ignores your question, folding his hands together. “(Y/N), I was just wondering...but you live in the city, right?”
“Yea, I do.”
“...When are you leaving?”
“Uhm...we’ve been here for a pretty long time now, so I think I have a few days until our train comes to pick us up.”
He looks pained just hearing that. “Then...if it’s okay with you, can I show you something before you leave? I think I finally know who I am, at least, the more important parts of myself.”
“This...came out of nowhere, but I’m glad you remember everything. What do you want to show me?”
“It’s...where I used to live. It’s not that far from here.”
You raise an eyebrow. “You live near here? Sure, I don’t mind, but are you even allowed to go out?”
“...Yea. The doctor gave me permission to leave. Is it possible to go later tonight?”
Tonight? You’re unsure about it. It’s too dangerous, especially if you two stray too far away from the town. “Can’t we go tomorrow morning? It’ll be too dark if we go later.”
“I know, but I’m afraid that if we wait in the morning, then i’m going to forget. Please! It sounds crazy...a-and stupid, but I don’t want to sit around and wait anymore. There’s...something I want to confirm with myself. My memories are jumbled up, and I feel like if I go as soon as possible, then everything will make sense. If not, then can we at least go when the sun’s setting?”
You’re still hesitant about it. But seeing the desperation in his eyes, it’s apparent that with or without you, he’s going to go on his own. The tale of the Winter Bear is real, and if Taehyung is taken by it, then it’ll be blood on your hands. If not that, then a coyote can eat him too.
It’s that feeling of responsibility coming back again. If you say no and he’s in danger, you have to live with guilt. You can’t bear to lose another person because of your selfishness.
“O...okay, I’ll go with you. But only in the condition that we go back as soon as you show me.”
“Thank you so much!”
Even though he seemed happy earlier, there’s an air of seriousness. You thought it was strange that he lives near here, and despite Little Bare being so small, no one knew he had been nearby all this time. Although he’s vague about it, it does make you curious about him.
———
“You’re going out again?” Kim crosses her arms.
While back in the inn, you’re putting on your coat. The whole day has already gone by, and you’re going to meet Taehyung just like you planned. However, Kim isn't impressed by it.
“Is he even allowed to go out? It doesn’t seem like he completely recovered.”
You shrug your shoulders. “Apparently, the doctor said that it was okay.”
However, Kim doesn’t seem to agree with your answer. She creases her eyebrows, putting her index finger to her chin as if thinking.
“What?”
“You know...you’ve been seeing him a lot lately. More than actually doing work.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for not helping. Is there anything specific you wanted me to do?”
“No...it’s okay. I already have a basis for my book. Besides, if this was to help you reconcile with your past, then it’s alright.”
“...I feel horrible, like I didn’t help at all.”
She shakes her head. “No, you did a lot more than you think.”
You crease your eyebrows, not entirely sure what she means by that. Regardless, you’re glad that you somehow helped her, though not sure with what and how.
“But...I’m really curious. What relationship do you have with Taehyung? I know you told me that you just met him, but to be frank, whenever I do see you two talk, it seems like you guys have known each other for years.”
You don’t respond. This should be an easy answer, yet, you struggle.
“Miss Suniya told me about you. Mind if we chat for a little bit before you go?”
“Sure...” You sit down on a chair, then Kim sits by the edge of the bed. “What did she say about me?”
“She told me that you have selective memory loss.”
You’re not surprised that Suniya told her about your condition.
“I’m sure there are things that you do and don’t remember about this place, which is why it probably wasn’t so hard to convince you to come with me. The reason why I never bothered you to help me with the book is because I wanted to give you the chance to regain the repressed memories naturally.”
You don’t know where she’s going with this. “...Why is it important that I remember?”
“Well, I...this...you…” she stumbles with her words. “I just want to tell you that you’re a really special person.”
“...Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t think you understand how hard it was to get into contact with you,” She steps closer. “Miss (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever seen the Winter Bear and survived. You’re the reason why I became intrigued with this myth in the first place, but those blockbuster people paid news outlets to get rid of articles written about you to sell this myth as a friendly story, so I hit a dead end until I read your article and knew that I found you.”
Things are beginning to click, but you don’t like where this is going. “This...isn’t only about the myth...is it?”
“Do you not realize how big this story is going to be when I write about your encounter with the bear?! People are gonna go crazy over it, then people won’t look down on me for studying mythology. So that’s why, Miss (Y/N), I want to know your relationship with that Taehyung person. My instincts tell me that there’s more to him than what meets the eye.”
“So...you’re doing all this to make money?”
“Why else are we here?” Kim crosses her arms. “Miss (Y/N), don’t pretend to be a hero when we both know that you tagged along for the money, too.”
“This doesn’t feel right...and what about Taehyung?”
The misery that you went through only to be exploited for money is one thing, but for her to use Taehyung, it’s a different story. You’re so infuriated with her that everything in your vision turns red. You thought about punching her, but you manage to control yourself.
Kim gets on her knees, right before your feet. “Who cares about what he thinks? Miss (Y/N), we are writers trying to survive, aren’t we? No matter how many people compliment our writing abilities, words aren’t going to put food on the plate.”
“Stop it…”
You have a flashback of being a kid again, but in the hospital, being checked for any injuries. You didn’t show any physical pain, your mentality however…
“No, I don’t want to…”
“I need you to go back in the past and try. It doesn’t hurt to remember Annie, right?”
The image of your mother crouching over a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries her heart out. You two are in the police station, waiting for any updates to Annie’s disappearance when a policeman broke the devastating news that they won’t continue the search.
“Don’t you want justice for your baby sister? So you need to come out and describe how the Winter Bear looks like.”
You cover your ears, fragments of your memories that you tried so hard to bury are returning to the surface. You remember the forest, knee-deep in the snow, meeting the friend you made during your stay here. You remember intertwining your pinky finger with your friend’s finger, promising that you’ll be friends forever. A childish vow that you wished you never committed. Because you also promised that friend that you’ll introduce Annie.
“So please, remember—”
“Stop it! I should’ve never come along with you!”
You get up from the chair, marching right for the door and slamming it behind you. Now standing on the other side of the door, you lean on it, rubbing your eyes as you grunt. You don’t want to remember; it’s better if they never come back. You like the way things are. You have nothing to worry about, you want to feel like there’s nothing to worry about. For now, you just want to see Taehyung.
———
At the front of the inn, Taehyung is already there, wearing a thick jacket but is still in his patient uniform. It’s already dark out, but you can see him clearly. When he sees you, he smiles and waves. However, you seem fazed with what Kim said. He’s quick to catch on to your discomfort, so he wraps his hands around yours. It catches you by surprise, but it goes away when he beams.
“How are you?”
“Great, how about you?”
“Good! It’s a lot colder than the last time I went outside.”
You chuckle. “Yea, you’ve been locked up in that hospital.”
“The hospital isn’t that bad. Anyway, are you ready?”
“Sure. How hard is it from here?”
“Not too far,” he takes you by the hand. “Come on, it’s already getting dark.”
He drags you to the direction of his supposed home. You look back at the inn, your senses finally returning and realizing that you’re really going to Taehyung’s residence late at night. You know you can trust him, but there’s something off about this that lingers in the back of your head. Yet, you don’t want to go back either, especially after hearing Kim’s real motive. You want to stay with Taehyung because you feel safer with him. Unlike many adults you’ve encountered, he’s transparent.
———
“Taehyung...are you sure you know where you’re going?”
As you two head deeper into the forest, the lights that came from the town disappear. You hold onto his hand tighter, fear crawling up your skin. It doesn’t help that it’s night either. In contrast to you, Taehyung is undisturbed.
“Yup, it’s beginning to look familiar.”
You regret choosing to go later in the day. If anything, you feel like a complete idiot for agreeing to go this late. It might be because you’re older and know the dangers of the world, but the woods seem far scarier compared to when you were a child.
“I don’t like this…! Let’s go back.”
After saying that, you hear a branch crack and it startles you. You let out a yelp, instinctively grabbing onto Taehyung’s arm. It doesn’t frighten him, so he’s clueless about why you’re afraid.
“If you’re scared, then hold on to me.”
Now conscious about your actions, you pull away, your cheeks flush with red. However, Taehyung doesn’t give you a chance to reconsider and drags you back into his arms. He wraps around your shoulders, squeezing you closer to his chest as he gives you a cheeky smile. You avert your eyes, sulking, but he’s not wrong about you being scared. You hold onto his shirt as you two continue walking.
To distract you from your fears, he changes the topic. “What kind of house do you live in?”
“Mine? Hm...well...it’s nothing fantastic. I live in a one-bedroom apartment.”
“That’s it?”
You nod. “It’s probably a little bigger than your private room back at the clinic.”
“Really?!”
“It’s small but so expensive...How about your home? I never got to ask if you live with anyone.” Though, judging by how no one that he knew came by to pick him up, he most likely lives alone.
“I live alone...and my home...is a little different from a normal home. It is big though.”
“Oh really? That must be cool. And to have it all for yourself too.”
“It was, and I thought it was cool because of how roomy it was...but it didn’t take for me to dislike it.”
“Oh...I’m surprised nobody has ever mentioned that you lived nearby...But speaking of your home, I was wondering, how long have you been living here?”
“Ever since I was a kid.”
“Really? And you’ve never ran into the Winter Bear?”
He shakes his head. “I rarely see bears in general.”
You thought it was strange how he’s lived here since he was a child and yet, he has never been kidnapped. If he’s lived here since he was young, then he would’ve been long gone.
“...My mother always told me that I’ll grow up to be strong. She said that I’ll be so strong that I won’t need to sleep like a bear who hibernates. And I believed her.”
Your ears perk up, listening to him attentively. You recall when Margaret that bears technically don’t hibernate.
“But a part of me thinks that it was mental training to prepare for when she abandoned me.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“That’s when I found a home to live. It was hard living by myself. Kids from Little Bare made fun of me for being a dirty boy and threw rocks at me until I ran away.”
“What are you talking about…? Little Bare doesn’t have any kids…”
“I hated living alone because it was scary, and all I wanted was a friend, or anybody who was willing to keep me company.”
What he’s saying is beginning to sound suspicious. You slowly pull yourself away from him, and it doesn’t seem like he minds.
“You know...travelling through my memories...I’ve always seen snow. Little Bare is always snowing no matter what year it is.”
“Taehyung...Little Bare doesn’t snow all the time. You know that...right?”
“Yea...so I wonder how the other seasons look like. It’s been so long. I learned that snow soaks in all sounds, which is why it’s always quiet during winter. I hate the silence more than anything. I want to know how it’s like to live where it’s filled with laughter.”
Taehyung draws near to his home, which is located in the middle of the forest. Horror slowly seeps under your skin when you start noticing how...familiar this place is. It was difficult to see the resemblance because of how dark it is, but once your eyes adjust to it, it looks as clear as your memories.
“So...it’s a little disheartening to hear that you’re leaving soon, (Y/N). I was hoping you could be here longer.”
You know this place all too well. Your legs begin to tremble, mortified that you have returned to the place that you desperately tried to keep buried in your subconscious. Standing before you is a large cave, towering over you and Taehyung. It’s like a gaping mouth ready to swallow anyone that comes in.
You fall backward, your hands buried in the freezing snow. You can’t get your eyes off of the cave as you hear haunting cries of children’s souls trickling from the depths of the hellhole; one of them sounds exactly like Annie.
Taehyung sees the pure terror in your eyes, crouching over as he tries to help you up. However, when he reaches his hand out, you finally remember exactly who Taehyung is. It makes sense why it was so easy for you to get along with him and why it felt like you’ve known him for so long. Back when you were six years old, this very person is the cursed Winter Bear—the monster who took Annie away.
You swipe his hand away, so shaken that no words are expressed. Your breathing becomes unstable, panic sets in, and your mind goes all sorts of directions. You think about one thing, but your mind heads the other way. You see Taehyung’s mouth moving, but you can’t hear it, only muffles. You can only hear a static ring fly across your ears. Even in the freezing temperatures, you’re sweating bullets.
“(Y/N)...I—”
“S-STAY AWAY!” You crawl backward, swinging your hand side to side to defend yourself from him.
It’s that innocent look in his eyes again that you vividly recall. He was able to transform into a bear and a kid, but when you first met him, he was a child just like you who found you playing in the snow by yourself. He lured you in with fictional affection, promising that he’ll never let you be neglected. It was all a ruse to lock you in that cave, just like the hundreds of souls in there, including your little sister’s.
He looks hurt, but he understands. Right as your memories are coming back to you, it’s returning to him as well. The screams of his victims, the scared look on their faces as they try to escape, and his vicious obsession of chasing after them. He pulls his hand back, knowing full well the crime that he committed twenty years ago. Just one glance at you and he knew that you won’t forgive him. So when you fled, he didn’t bother to chase after you.
All you hear from behind is the aching cries of a young man.
———
Keep running.
Don’t look back.
Focus in front of you.
You run through the forest without a light source. You don’t even know if it’s the right direction back to town, but anywhere is better than there. It was just like that time when you narrowly escaped Taehyung’s grasps. He was so occupied with your sister that he lost sight of you. Just like history repeating itself, you barely escaped his grasp.
You hate yourself for falling into his trap for a second time. Like a pied piper luring children, it was like his curse never uplifted. No wonder it didn’t take a lot for you to turn down the chance to come back to the town. You never learned from your mistakes, and that’s because you kept running away. You ran away so often that you even forgot his face.
Tears blur your vision, so you use your forearm to wipe them away. Despite the revelation, the resurgence of painful reminices, you feel awful for running away from Taehyung. You can’t forget the times spent with him, sharing personal stories of yourself and vice versa, and your friendship deepening. You promised him that he can rely on you, but you already broke it. But...how do you keep a promise with the monster who not only took your sister, but also took away your childhood?
You’re so focused on wiping the tears away that you bumped into someone and fell down. You scream in terror, kicking your feet as you try to get up.
“Hey! (Y/N), calm down!”
The person tries to grab your flailing legs, but you only kick harder. “STOP IT! LET GO! HELP!”
“(Y/N), (Y/N), it’s me! It’s me, relax!!” You feel two hands cupping your cheeks so you can look at the person. “It’s me, Suniya.”
You stop panicking. But your mind feels foggy, and for a moment, you’ve forgotten where you’re at.
“We work together. You’re a journalist, and I’m your agent. You’re twenty-six years old and live in the city. You graduated from the University of Redlands, and you’re the daughter of two parents who live miles away from you. You came here with a researcher to study the town called Little Bare. I came here because I was worried since I couldn’t contact you, then Miss Kim led me here.”
Your breathing becomes steady, regaining control of your unstable mind. It all comes back to you, and now that you got the chance to process what’s happened, your body becomes weak. The only thing you want to do now is cry. You hold onto Suniya, burying your face in her arms as you wail like a child.
Suniya is in shock, never seeing you cry this much before. She knew how much the Winter Bear affected you, but not to this extent, and it breaks her heart. She hugs you back, tears streaming down from her eyes as well.
“Suniya...I...lied. I lied to him again. I ran away. I got scared...I-I couldn’t think...then I left him there...An-Annie...I heard her cry. She was crying so much…”
“It’s okay...you’re safe. Don’t cry.” She hushes you.
She rocks you back and forth as you continue to sob. Your sentences are everywhere, but to question you in this state isn’t going to help. For now, what you need is to hide in somebody else’s arms until you’re okay.
———
“I shouldn’t never fucking agreed to this!” Suniya shouts.
In the room that you stayed in, Suniya is arguing with Kim. You’re sitting in the fetal position in the halls, your back against the wall. Even though the doors are closed, you can hear Yesosang’s voice as clear as day.
It’s the next morning, and you couldn’t sleep a wink. You and Suniya stayed in another room from the inn, not letting Kim know that you returned. The moment the sun rose, Suniya went straight to Kim’s room and has been arguing with her since.
“I thought I had to worry about you because (Y/N) can be a handful but...it was her that I should’ve been more concerned about. You're an absolute scum.”
“Please, try to understand from my viewpoint. Miss (Y/N)’s story needs to be heard—”
“‘Heard’? You mean use?! You don’t give a fuck about what she went through. I should’ve known better and not leave her in the hands of a stranger.”
“You didn’t need to word it that way. I was just trying to help her. I feel like, as a scholar in pursuit of knowledge, she has every right to remember every second of her memories.”
“Oh, don’t give me that scholar bullshit!! You’re no different than those Hollywood people exploited this damn town for money, and you’re not even different from us who are trying to live each day trying to make money. (Y/N)’s repressed memory is not your textbook!”
You can’t handle all this shouting anymore. You’re upset with yourself to make Suniya come all the way here, wasting her family time just to find you. Even though she blames Kim, you feel accountable for agreeing to go on this trip. Suniya can blame your mental instability all she wants, you’re still an adult, and you still said yes.
You wonder what Taehyung’s doing right now. Hopefully, he isn’t cold.
“We’re leaving tonight. You can stay stranded here for all I care. When we get back, we’re going to make sure that every publication doesn’t want to work with you,” Suniya stomps out of the room, taking you by the hand and dragging you with her. “Let’s go, (Y/N).”
As you two walk down the halls, she can sense the immense amount of guilt you’re carrying. She knows you’re blaming yourself, so she slows down and holds both of your hands.
“It’s not your fault, so stop worrying.”
You want to stop, but the guilt won’t leave. Once again, it’s suffocating thinking about what you could’ve done to prevent this from happening.
———
Outside, a gust of wind nearly blows Suniya off of her feet. She was only able to keep still because she was holding onto you. “Holy shit, is the weather always this bad??”
“It became like this recently.”
“Ugh…if this continues, then we might not be able to leave. Sorry, (Y/N).”
“It’s fine.”
Just as you two were returning to the inn, Magaret chases after you two. “Hold up just a minute! (Y/N), can I have a word with you?”
“Who are you?”
“It’s okay, Suniya. Margaret’s been taking care of me.”
She hugs you, almost making you break your back. “Oh dear god, I’m glad you’re alright. I heard that you went off into the forest with that young man. He didn’t touch you, did he?”
You shake your head.
“Thank god. Sheriff Tusk is currently looking for him and will make sure that his ass goes to prison.”
“Wait, what?”
“You can never fully trust men. They’re deceitful and only strive for one thing, and that’s—”
“Is there something important you wanted to say to (Y/N)? We’re in a bit of a hurry to leave.” Suniya saw how disturbed you became when she mentioned Taehyung.
Margaret scoffs. “In this weather? Lady, you’re gonna die if you go today.”
“Why?”
“It’s gonna be ‘nother blizzard happenin’ tonight, and it’s crazier than it’s ever been before. You outta stay one more night.”
But Suniya doesn’t have the patience to deal with another person. “Look, I know you guys don’t have that many outsiders, but I know when locals are trying to make tourists cough out as much money as possible. We’ll be taking our leave.”
What Margaret said about Sheriff Tusk going out to look for Taehyung, so it worries you that he’ll get in trouble. But knowing how quickly Suniya wants to leave this place, she won’t want to stay.
“Wait...I think you should listen to her…”
“You too??”
“The weather here can be pretty bad. We should stay one more night.”
“...Will you be fine…?”
You nod. “I’m not a kid.”
But she seems hesitant, but seeing as the weather is getting worse, it might be for the best. Besides, you’ve been here longer than she has, so she has no choice but to abide by your request. “Okay…”
Margaret’s eyes haven’t left you, clearly showing how worried she is for you. However, she doesn’t say anything as she knows you might want to brush it off. “Yea...it might be for the better.”
———
Later that night in the inn, you’re laying in bed while Suniya is taking a shower. And just like what Margaret said, the town is going through yet another blizzard. This time, it’s heavier compared to the first one. You’re still thinking about everything that happened the night before. You don’t know how you were unable to recognize Taehyung since the beginning.
Did you really repress your memories that much that you forgot his face? The cries from the children’s souls are still imprinted in your mind. Perhaps in the back of your head, you had a hutch that it was him, but his purity made you doubt yourself. Maybe you were keen on going back to him to confirm that it isn’t him from twenty years ago that you ignored the red flags.
Despite the tragedy that he caused in your family, you can’t forget the times spent together. Exposed to the reality of the world made you disregard that there are kind people like Taehyung. He’s caring...but you keep going back to when he lured you and Annie to his cave. It’s conflicting, like two sides of him that you know are real, yet they challenge one another. On one side, he’s your antagonist, but on the other side, he’s like a savior.
There’s a knocking at the door, alerting you. You get up, wondering if you should open it, but seeing as the knocking won’t stop, you get out of bed and open it. On the other side is Kim.
“Hi, Miss—” You nearly slam the door in her face, but she put her weight on the door just in time. “P-please, just give me a minute to explain! I just want to apologize for my selfishness!! I should’ve known better than to take advantage of your trauma.”
You take a second to rethink before opening it for her. You glance at the bathroom, hearing the showerhead still going off.
“You have until Suniya finishes showering to tell me.”
“Thank you…uhm...Again, I’m sorry...I was caught up with my own goals that I lost myself for a second. But...there are a few things that I’ve been doing way before I met you…” she shows you a vanilla folder in her arms. “Here’s some information that I’ve gathered from the town’s archives. It was not an easy task to obtain, so please take good care of them.”
She passes the folder to you. When you open it, it’s filled with records that look so old that it’ll crumble at any second. Some of these papers feel like it’s decades old too.
“What’s this?”
“My research. I hope this is enough for you to forgive me...I think it’ll really help you with figuring out who Taehyung is and what this curse is.”
And just like that, Kim leaves. You close the door and set the folder down on the desk, spreading every individual paper out for you to read. Some of them are extremely old—going as far as the late 1800’s. The papers on top of the stack are about every recorded disappearance in Little Bare, even some that came after Annie’s. In total, there are a little under sixty child disappearances. As you go through each article, from most recent to oldest, you notice that at some point, the Winter Bear lore became big in the news in the 1950s when a wealthy child went missing. There was even an attempt to make a film out of it but was cancelled due to how controversial it was. To some extent, there was a children’s book in the 1940s about the bear as well.
But as you go back in time, there tends to be less coverage in the early 1900s, most likely due to new coverage of the two World Wars being more favored. A majority of its timeline has been skipped over, and now you’re in the 1880s with newspapers with titles like Exclusive!! Small Town Cursed with Black Magic or Real-Life Witch Doctor Lives!! Cave is an Accessway to Hell. The columns come with pictures of supposed real cave drawings, all are shapes resembling animals, some are birds, dogs, fish, and...bears. There are outrageous claims that the one responsible for those drawings used their blood.
However, as you skim through the articles, it explains what the purpose of those drawings are. Each one resembles the strength of each animal, bird = flight, fish = underwater breathing, etc. There are also theories that the etchings give the holder the ability to shapeshift, though it’s limited. In the third and last article, the title says, Breaking News: Immortality Exists...Or Does It?
Once you go through the papers, you make it to the last few papers. It’s been clipped together with a paperclip, and it’s a record of residences who previously lived in Little Bare. As you flip through them, some pages stick out to you. Some names in each year are highlighted with yellow, and it doesn’t take long for you to learn the pattern. Every name that Kim has colored in are Korean immigrants, and, in particular, there’s a large spike in Korean names in the 1910 records. In that exact, there’s only one name that has been highlighted and circled.
The name is Kim Taehyung.
After 1910, the Korean population here decreased significantly, to where there were no more. And the paper at the bottom of the stack is a black-and-white copy of a photograph with all the Korean immigrants that moved into Little Bare in that year. One there’s a pair that stands out to you. It’s a younger version of Taehyung smiling, and standing behind him is a woman, presumably his mother.
That’s when everything clicked for you. And in that moment, you take the picture from the folder, put on your boots and scarf, and take your thick coat before running out through the doors. You can’t wait for this blizzard to die down, and you have a feeling that it won’t if you don’t go now.
But you stop in your tracks, returning to the room, almost forgetting something. You look through the drawers to grab something small before putting it in your pocket before dashing back out.
———
The blizzard is more intense than ever before, even to the point to where you can barely see anything. Even opening your eyes wider already feels like they’ll freeze. You trek onward to the cave, praying that he’s still there. You’re fully aware at how ridiculous and idiotic this is, like you could’ve waited until it calmed down. But deep down, you know it won’t die down until you find him.
Thankfully, you made it to the cave without any problems. You pick up the pace as you enter the cave, shivering almost to death. Even with multiple layers of clothes, you’re freezing to the point where you can’t feel your feet. In front of you is the black hole that belongs to the cave. The cries of the childrens that Taehyung has taken lurks on the other side. You gulp, clenching your fists to stop them from trembling. You look over your shoulder at the blizzard. You can’t turn back now, so you have to push forward.
You turn on the flashlight on your phone and continue walking. The deeper you went, the louder the cries became. The walls start closing in, and on there are also the same animal drawings from the newspapers. The sound of water droplets complements the hollow cries. It’s getting so loud that it’s beginning to unnerve you. You want to cover your ears, but even if you do, the dreadful cries won’t leave.
But you know that the kids are trying to warn you to leave. They don’t want you to make the same mistakes they made. They’re children—pure souls who lost their young lives. They don't have any intentions to play tricks on you, so that’s why you have to keep pushing through because you have unfinished business.
“(Y/N)...” A young girl’s voice calls out from behind.
Even though you haven’t heard that voice in years, you know exactly who it is. Turning your head around, an apparition of Annie forms. There she is—in her blue-and-white striped dress and pink jacket with the brown boots. She hasn’t aged a bit, but she’s crying.
“Don’t go. Go back home where you have a warm house and people who care about you.” Annie whimpers.
Hearing her speak weighs heavily on your chest. You can’t hold back the tears, so you let it out.
She extends her hand out. “If you don’t hurry, then you’ll freeze to death here.”
Your knees almost gave in, nearly making you fall. Even though you know full well that she can’t be alive, a part of you feels relieved to see her again. It may not even be her, just a recreation that Taehyung made. She has to be his recreation because a two-year-old wouldn’t know to say this.
You approach her spirit, crouching down to her level. You wipe your eyes, exhaling while you smile. “Hi Annie, thanks for warning me. You’re just trying to look out for your older sister, aren’t you?”
She continues to cry, nodding her head.
“It’s okay, you can trust me now. Your big sister is now a grown up. I’m just going to talk to our friend.”
“But! That’s not a friend! He’s a monster who’s done bad things. It’s his fault that I died and that Mom and Dad hates you. He’s made you miserable. He’s the problem!” She cries even louder.
You tilt your head, your grin not once leaving. “I know, but sometimes people do things because they’ve been wronged, too. They won’t know that they’re doing something bad until they learn the good in the world. Our friend was just lonely because he left his homeland, then his parents left him, and no one wanted to be his friend.”
Annie finally stops crying.
“So when he finally made a friend, he wanted it to last forever. That’s why he took their souls. It didn’t help when he had more bad luck and became immortal and has supernatural powers. I just know that deep down, he’s a good person who’s been on the wrong path for a very long time. Right...Taehyung?”
You stand up, turning around after the spirit of your sister disappears. The cries from the children dissipate, and the only one left crying is Taehyung. You approach him slowly, and as you get closer, you can hear him repeatedly mumbling, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ under his breath.
“Am I right, Taehyung? It just got out of hand, and your fear took over you.”
“...I hate opening my eyes to this empty cave. Because I know that whenever I went to town, everyone else would have friends or families to return to when I had nobody. And I never asked to be cursed to live forever either! Why couldn’t I have died a long time ago?!”
He continues to wallow in his own misery.
“And it’s worse when I’m only awake during winter. I don’t even remember what spring, summer, or fall looks like...”
A bear who doesn’t sleep during winter isn’t strong, but a lonely animal because he’ll be the only one awake. Taehyung may be able to live for a long time, but in exchange, he has to hibernate for nine months because the curse is too strong to hold.
“I don’t want to be attached to you. I’m afraid that I’ll try to take you away, but I’m also scared that I’ll never see you again. (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever showed me kindness after a hundred years...and I’m afraid that I’ll never experience that again. So please...leave me when you still have the chance. You have a life out there.”
“You don’t have to stay here! You can live with me and—”
“You think I haven’t tried leaving? I’ve tried leaving so many times, but each time I try, I feel like I’m on a leash. The further I go, the more suffocating it gets. An invisible rope is around my neck, but I don’t die. You don’t understand...I’m stuck here forever.”
You don’t want to think about the many attempts he’s tried to end his life. You can’t imagine how you’ll turn out if you were stuck in his position. You’ll probably become insane like him, too. Waking up to the same snowy setting with no one to be there for you. After all, the color white can make people go insane if you see it too much.
You tighten your fists. “Then...then I’ll stay.”
“What?!”
“Let the children’s spirits free and I can stay with you.”
But he shakes his head. “No...don’t give me hope. Just go! Don’t waste yourself with me.”
“No, you listen to me. I’m willing to do it.”
“But...why?! I’ve made your life horrible, and I selfishly took your sister away. I’m the cause of all your problems! I don’t deserve anything from you.”
The pressure of the lives he’s taken away is beginning to weigh down on him, and it’s so much that he can’t handle it. It’s a complicated conflict where he took away so many loved ones from their family, including Annie, but the world was so unfair to him before he fell under this cave’s curse. He didn’t kill because he enjoyed it, but because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions and ended up releasing it in a way he never consciously meant to happen. No matter how hard you try to forget what he’s done, it’ll never leave. It’s engraved into your memory regardless of how much you’ve tried to repress it. You can’t forget but…
You scour through your pocket, showing him the watermelon-flavored candy. He’s confused, but in exchange, you beam. “This is my favorite flavor, and it’s yours too, isn’t it?”
You unwrap it, giving the candy to him. When he doesn’t accept it, you nudge it to him, then he hesitantly takes it.
“Eat it and let the bitterness go away.”
He stares at it, unsure of what your intentions are.
“Almost every kid loves candy, and it’s because of how sweet it is. It’s so sugary that it distracts them from their sorrow. But...it’s also special because of how short-lived the candy is. At some point, it’ll melt in your mouth, and then you’ll want another one, and you can’t keep eating it, otherwise your teeth will rot.”
He clenches it in his fist. “...Why are you going so far for me?”
“Because I like you.”
His eyes widen, almost as if he’s never heard of from somebody else. He thought he heard you wrong. Taehyung is so starstruck.
“I know I can never forget what you’ve done to Annie and what happened after...and honestly...I’m still conflicted. But after getting to know you, I realized that you’re a victim like anybody else. You can’t bring back the kids, but what you can do is learn from your mistakes. So...let the kids go and promise to never take another person’s life.”
You kiss him on the forehead for good luck. After pulling yourself back, but while you were caught off-guard, he leans over to give you a peck on the lips. He feels your chapped lips, which you find embarrassing, but doesn’t matter to him—only that his feelings have also been conveyed to you too.
He pulls back, too timid to look at you in the eyes. “I don’t want to disappoint you, so I vow to never take another person’s life, not even yours.”
“What…? T-Tae…”
“Like what you said, I can’t always be looking for ways to be in an infinite paradise. It’ll just leave me miserable, and I don’t want that to happen to you. What we had was special, and I’ll never forget it. So...it’s okay, you can go.”
From behind, you can hear children laughing. Small hands reach over, grabbing you by your jacket and dragging you away from him.
“Wa-wait, Taehyung! What are you doing?!”
He watches as you try to fight the children’s grasp, knowing full well that if they weren’t there to help him, then you wouldn’t leave. You have a feeling that this will be the last time you’ll see him, so you become choked up in your tears.
“No, don’t do this!”
But he doesn’t respond, afraid that if he says something, he’ll break down.
“Taehyung, I promise I’ll be back! I won’t leave you again! When you open your eyes for winter to come again, then I’ll be there to wake you up. And...even if I’m long gone, then I’ll make sure that you’ll never, ever, have to be alone,” You reach your hand out, extending your pinkie. “I promise.”
With one last look in your eyes, he saw hope. Over a hundred years later, he saw light at the end of the cave, that maybe one day, the curse that had been laid upon him will become a blessing. Maybe this time, he can see someone precious again without taking their life. Even if you don’t fulfill your side to the promise, just the facade of hope is enough to make him look forward to next winter.
Within a blink of an eye, he reaches over and wraps his pinky around yours. He’s so thankful that he’s crying uncontrollably.
“Thank you, (Y/N).”
And with one swift move, the children’s spirits pull you out of the cave, separating you from him. Before you close your eyes, you could’ve sworn that you saw Taehyung in his child form, eating the candy that you gave him.
———
You regain consciousness after feeling someone shaking your shoulders. The first person you see is Suniya, bawling like a baby. When you opened your eyes, she froze, not sure about what to do next.
“Sun...Suniya?”
“Oh, thank god!” She hugs you tightly. “I was so scared that we lost you.”
You’re still in the woods. Though, the snow is beginning to melt and the sun is blaring down on your face. You look around to find all the townspeople surrounding you, including Kim.
“Jesus Christ, you gave all of us a fright, girl.” Margaret wipes her tears with her sleeve. “Goin’ out during the middle of a brutal blizzard. Are you insane?”
You look down at your hands, and they’re not trembling anymore. “I guess I am.”
It felt like a dream. In fact, every second you spent with Taehyung felt like a dream because of how fast time flew by. What you experienced in the cave, you don’t know if it actually happened.
You turn around, seeing that the cave is hollow. It’s a lot smaller than what you last remembered. The entrance is like a black hole, but it isn’t empty. But what’s better is that you don’t hear children crying anymore. You look back at the crowd, glancing at Kim who’s crossing her arms. One look and she knew that you overcame your trauma.
Suniya helps you up, putting your arm around her neck. Though your body is fine, your muscles feel weak.
“Come on, let’s go back and get you warmed up.”
“What the hell were you doin’ here, by the way?” Margaret asks.
“There’s just something that I needed to do...and I’m not done with it yet.”
[The End]
———
EPILOGUE
“Alright, next, I’m going to teach you how to make a campfire.”
You are standing in a circle around a bunch of kids. They’re wearing thick jackets with badges on them and have dark green hats with the symbol of a brown bear over a snowflake over them. They’re hugging their arms, shivering to the old.
“Do we have to make one now?”
“It’s too cold to do anything, Miss.”
“Can’t we just learn it back at the cabin?”
You shake your head. “The whole reason to make a campfire is to build it outside. Not only is the fire meant to keep you warm, but it also helps cook food and used as a light source.”
You grab some branches from the ground, wiping the snow off of it.
“You see how wet it is? It won’t make a good fire. It’s going to be difficult, but you need to find dry wood like this.”
You compare and contrast between the two, kicking snow off of the ground until you see dirt. You place the wood, taking out two rocks and creating friction to spark them. And just like that, you’re able to create fire. The kids stand around your campfire, awing at it as the flames rise.
However...the flames go out within seconds. “Oh…”
The children laugh. “What was that?”
“That was terrible!”
“Hold on, just give me one second…” You grab the wood to make a second attempt. “I swear it worked the first time.”
“Miss (Y/N), why are we camping during winter? Doesn’t girl scout camps happen during summer?”
“Yea! All my friends go during summer. My parents kept saying that this camp saves more money...but it’s unfair.”
“Well...let me tell you something. They can teach you all the methods of surviving during the summer, but almost every tip is thrown out the window when it’s snowing. I have a friend who used to be your age and didn’t know how to survive on his own in the winter. His mother abandoned him a long time ago and no one wanted to take care of him. So he was on his own.”
This gathers the attention of all the girls, so they surround you as you continue the story.
“He was starving and cold because he didn’t know the basics of survival, like making a campfire. He didn’t know how to fish nor did he know how to build a tent.”
“I hope she went to jail for abandoning her own child.”
“Why would his mother leave him?? That’s so messed up.”
“Sometimes, it’s not because they want to, but because they can’t. We’ll never fully know why she left him, but I think she did love him.”
“What? I think she hated him.”
“Because before she left him, she told him that he’s a strong boy. Maybe she left him because she knew that he'd survive. Of course, this is by no means a good method of parenting, but she had faith in her own son that he’ll make it through the winter.”
“I don’t think she cared about him,” one of the girl scouts crosses her arms. “Couldn’t he go to the police for help? They’re always there to help him find his home!”
“Yea, but it wasn’t that simple. You see, he was considered as...different, I guess you could say. People many years ago thought completely opposite from us, so no one wanted to help him.”
“Is he still alive?”
You fall silent, and this builds anticipation for your response. They draw closer to you, unable to handle the suspense.
“He’s still alive.”
They sigh in relief.
“Do you girls want to meet him?”
“Wait, can we??”
You nod. “He’s a little shy at first, but he’s super friendly.”
“How does he look like??”
“Hmm...he’s super tall,” you raise your arms up in the air. “And he has broad shoulders. His hair is so curly that it almost looks like cotton candy. He also has a mole under his nose and the most charming smile anybody has ever seen.”
You stare at the sky with dreamy eyes, and that’s when the girls understood the subtle hints. They elbow each other, giggling and covering their mouths.
But you’re clueless. “What’s so funny?”
“Do you have a crush on him, Miss (Y/N)?”
Your cheeks turn red, and they squeal with excitement. You press your knuckles on your lips as you become more flustered.
“Keep it a secret, but he’s my boyfriend.”
They scream, stunned that their leader has someone in her heart. You shush them, worried that their voices would disrupt the town’s peace.
“Di-did you guys do things...like kissing??” One girl whispers.
You nod, and they hide their screams behind their covered mouths. Then, you rub your stomach, feeling a lump. “Pretty soon, we’re gonna be a family.”
The girls have no idea what you meant, but they’re not at the age to learn about that yet.
“He’s the most important person in the entire world to me. He sleeps a lot, so I don’t get to see him that often, so every second I have with him matters until I get too old. Because of that, he’s afraid that one day when he opens his eyes, I won’t be there anymore. So, even if I’m gone, he’ll have enough friends that he won’t ever have to feel alone anymore.”
From behind a dead tree, you can see Taehyung hiding behind it. You snicker, certainly knowing that he heard the entire conversation. He’s probably trying to fight back his tears. Every time you visit him during winter, he would sob and express about how much he doesn’t deserve you. But since he went through decades of suffering, this is the least you can do to ease it.
You raise your head, pointing your direction to him. “Taehyung, would you like to sit with us?”
He peers his head over the tree, holding the bark gently while staring at the ground. He raises his eyes, trying his hardest to hide his smile.
“...Thank you.”
[End]
A/N: Thank you for everyone who read this, especially considering how long it is lol. I wanted to get this out during winter, but it took longer than expected ha ha. I hope you guys are all safe and healthy!! Don’t be afraid to leave any comments :) Have a beautiful day. ^^
Masterlist
#bts scenarios#bangtan scenarios#bts#bts imagines#bangtan seonyeondan#bangtan#v#bts v#v x reader#bts fanfic#fanfiction#oneshot#fluff#bts fluff#long reads#angst#x reader#kim taehyung#taehyung x reader#fantasy#romance#slow burn#kpop
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Lair Review for ShadowKitty
@shadowkitty-fr-art
Alright SK sorry for the wait, but you’re finally up next~
224! That’s a lot of colorful and beautiful dragons! Glancing through your lair makes me feel like I’m looking at “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” by Georges Seurat.
Forest Lily
Nature themed dragons are my JAM so of course I’m going to single out the cool leafy dudes. Forest Lily is so unique-- I really like how you took the splash of color from the Opal tertiary and used it as an opportunity to bring in even more color (the blues and purples of the flowerfalls). Nature IS colorful, it’s not always about just being green, and I adore how you’ve represented that here with Forest Lily.
Ashe
Ashe is a solid take on some old fashioned apparel. I really like how you used the reds of this armor to pair nicely with the dark reds of his primary. The etching on the armor, and the highlights go so well with the whites of his wings and pearl.Pairing him with the cinder nymph to really bring out the greys of the armor was an excellent choice. He’s got such a regal and heroic vibe.
Eren
Oh Eren’s colors took my breath away. He almost looks like the planet Earth with all the greens and blues, and little “cloud” of the grimplate. What I really like about Eren is how the different shades of blue come together so nicely. Even the more cyan hued blues in mantis find a home in his overall palette. What a magnificent looking dragon, I could stare all day if I wanted.
Sol
Everything about Sol makes him a great light rep. The gradient from Gold to Sunshine to Carrot is so satisfying to look at. The oranges allow the apparel to stand out more, given that they’re much lighter, and I think you did an excellent job with choosing the perfect dragon to wear this Light themed apparel. He doesn’t seem too busy, but it’s still entertaining to the eyes to admire the details of his outfit. Pairing him up with the Shining Cancer familiar goes really well with the raiments he is wearing. Phenomenal job here
Amethyst
I see that Amethyst is in your projects tabs, but I do want to comment on how well you’ve dressed her. She makes for an excellent witchy arcane rep. The flowers from the crown and veil have given the outfit a nice crystal forest vibe, and I particularly enjoy how you married the birdskull feathers with the orchid feathered wings. She looks stunning, and I can’t wait to see her when she’s complete!
Viridi
Not only is the skin you chose for this dragon just absolutely beautiful, but to pair this skin with the dragon’s fire eyes is just galaxy brain energy. It’s SUCH a subtle detail on a dragon that is ‘just wearing a skin’ but it’s BRILLIANT. Plus you get such an intricate looking dragon without the pain of trying to layer apparel and find exact colors. I applaud your work with Viridi
Pyra
All of your spiral flight reps are just so well done and Pyra is no different. I’m blown away at how her reds and oranges with the crystal/facet combination looks so much like actual flames here. Speaking of noodles, pairing her with the new burning virgo familiar is just too much of a fabulous coincidence. Her marigold color goes well with the molten lava in the tubes along her back in the crucible apparel. Overall the colors blend so nicely together without washing anything out on Pyra. Well done
Lucien
Lucien is SUCH a stunning dragon. I mean the use of the bewitching ruby set on this dragon gives him such a devilish and attractive look! But you went a step further by giving him that gorgeous accent. He looks like a royal keeper of flames and like he may have an intimidating charm to him. I mean woof, I think I’m going to need a drink of water before I move onto the next dragon...
Spinach
I love everything about the colors spinach has, but we all know by now that I’m a huge sucker for blue and green. But I also want to point out at how well his eyes match the underbelly and birdskull apparel. I also chose him to be on this list because of his very interesting bio. I love how you’ve given him some fun lore and personality, and I can easily imagine the green birdskull feathers as spinach he carts around trying to get his friends to eat.
Noxie
Noxie here makes an amazing witch. Her smoke gene looks as though she’s peering over a smoking cauldron, and I looove the halloween themed colors she has. The riot of rot apparel really work to bring out those spooky vibes that Noxie is so obviously about. It feels as though she’s got something up her sleeves, and I’m not sure I’d want to test my fate around her. She’s so fun to look at and her personality really shines through with the outfit you’ve given her.
Thank you for letting me review your lair, ShadowKitty, you have such a unique and intricate style when it comes to dragons and that is something to be proud of. Great job in constructing your lair!
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July 25th-July 31st, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from July 25th, 2020 to July 31st, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
Where can your comic be read, what is it about, and why should people read it?
carcarchu
last one
mariah (rainy day dreams)
You can read Rainy Day Dreams on it's homesite: http://rainydaydreams.mariahcurrey.com/ Book 1 of RDD is also currently in pre-orders for both physical and digital books. This volume collects the newly redrawn and remastered first five charters. Currently not all of those pages are online so book buyers will get to see them first https://gumroad.com/mariahcurrey Rainy Day Dreams is a manga influenced, character driven supernatural story with dreamlike pacing. It follows the lives Tristin, an excitable and friendly human who becomes trapped in the Nameless World after a treasure hunt gone wrong, Mara, a reclusive retired knight belonging to an ancient lineage of psychics, and Michael, a sad vampire torn between his vampire instincts and being the soft boy he is deep down. Come for the compelling characters, interpersonal drama, and found family, stay for the underlying slow build of the cosmic machinations of the Nameless World's gods and a villain from the past bent on undoing the very fabric of reality. Reasons you should read it beyond the above pitch: - I've been told by frequently people find it's relaxing to read. We all need a little relaxation - Has a female driven narrative - I take every chance I get to put my characters in ball gowns or party dresses - Monsters! Cute monsters, scary monsters! Monsters that want to eat you, monsters that want to smooch you! - I make this comic traditionally with ink wash so enjoy all the beautiful ink blooms! - Chapter 18 starts this week
CoppertheCarutor
Oh wow, I missed out on A LOT! Dang! Well, here it goes I guess. To start off, please read with discretion, this project is rated R/17+ and for now contains: Abuse, discussion of suicide, blood, violence, queerphobia, trauma, mental illness, self-harm, mild body horror, substance abuse, profanity and full-frontal nudity. You can read my comic, The Guide to a Healthy Relationship, on it's main site: http://tgtahr.spiderforest.com/ I also have it posted on Tapas, Webtoons (nudity censored), Comicfury, FlowFo and Itch.io. The Guide to a Healthy Relationship is a slowburn character driven psychological drama about an emotionally immature alcoholic trying to make amends, and fix his friendship with his ex-childhood friend upon discovering they're not dead. Unfortunately the situation is much more complicated and serious than he can comprehend. Why you should check it out: - Possibly interesting if you enjoy non-fantastical character studies and/or Psychology. - May be cathartic if you like consuming heavy content in a controlled environment. - Has some light horror elements. - Contains an extremely flawed LGBT+ cast. - No romance. - This comic is drawn traditionally with pens and color pencils. - The story is a little over halfway finished. - Contains/will contain beaches if you like the beach. - Lots of sky shots.(edited)
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
(Ahhh this was hard to write out, i'll really miss this server) Ghost Junk Sickness is a free to read LGBTQ+ sci-fi that tackles themes of found family, accountability, and acceptance. It rated T for it's course language and violence, and can be read on it's official website, < https://www.ghostjunksickness.com/ > . Books 1-3 are available on the store (link on site) and we're currently on our way to wrap up and print vol 4! Ghost Junk Sickness is about two bounty hunters with an unstable dynamic who are pushed to pursue the elusive and deadly bounty dubbed The Ghost. It updates mondays and fridays, features an extensive cast with queer rep, topics about dealing with trauma, responsibility, and taking control. GJS has: -Space ships! -Lived in worlds/ extensive world building through illustrative backgrounds and characters - Slow burn character growth, expanding relationships, and new love -Drawn traditionally and worked on by a team of two! -Long run story that reached the halfway point, GJS has a huge buffer of over 800 pages now, so it's a time sinker! - hot lizard lady (best part)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
holy shit 800 page buffr
OH wait by buffer you mean archive omg
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
(oh YE we only have 70 page buffer now woohopps lol)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
holy shit 70 page buffer
that's like 10 months
eliushi [Keyspace]
KEYSPACE: A Winged Tale is a story about kids with wings for hair, and can be found at https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 https://tapas.io/series/KEYSPACE-A-Winged-Tale/ TW: Body Horror (comes with having wings sprouting from the head and more) Keyspace is my passion project about a world between portals that is dying. A Winged Tale is the first story of this series and touches upon the deeper magic that unites the work. It’s about a wingless girl trying to find her missing scientist mother in a laboratory beneath a forest, winged children discovering their origins and Machines that once ravaged the world, now lost. It’s a story for those who grew up with Studio Ghibli stories but want a little more complications and lore but still retain hope for the future. TL;DR: Come for winged hair, sad robots, possibly dragons, lots of science. The comic returns August 1
CoppertheCarutor
AH! Thank you for reminding about a couple content warnings I forgot to add.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Phantomarine is a story about a haunted ocean, a ghostly princess, and her journey to save her soul from a death god known as the Red Tide King. http://www.phantomarine.com/ TW: death, body horror, limb loss Princess Phaedra's untimely and mysterious death casts her out into the dark waters of the Candlelight Sea, forcing her to wander the world as an ethereal seaghost. Her journey toward resurrection quickly evolves into a grand maritime adventure on her ship, the Mantaluna, along with a crew of similarly-cursed friends and familiars. But Phaedra's mission has a dark undercurrent to it - a divine mystery that, when solved, will force her to question everything about her life, her death, and her world's long-dead past. If you like:
-THE COLOR BLUE (or just the ocean) -general spookiness that never gets too dark or gory -flamboyant villains of various kinds -swashbuckling pirate-y stories -fancy boats and pretty islands -big elemental animal gods fighting -friends and family fighting for each other -lots of hero-vs-villain salt and sass -DOGS
then heck yeah, this is your comic (edited)
Miranda (Into the Swell)
Into the Swell is about a Pirate with nothing left to lose but his life and a Wizard who wants more than a life of entertaining royals with party tricks being thrown together on the treasure hunt of their lives. The official blurb is: Ocean swells are remnants of storms hundreds of miles away. So do past actions cause swells of destiny on the shores of the present. Fate will always find a way. Given the choice between a one way trip to the gallows or a return to high sea adventure, imprisoned pirate Fletcher makes the obvious choice. With Court appointed wizard Kelwyn watching his every move, the two set off to reclaim a stolen treasure for King and Country. The ocean journey leads the duo through uncharted waters that hide dangers and secrets that could unravel the very fabric of their lives. Could this treasure hunt prove more adventure than they bargained for? TW: deaths? You can find it on https://tapas.io/series/into-the-swell or Webtoons It’s just starting out so there’s not much yet but you gotta start somewhere!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Heyo! For all you who don't yet know me, I work on Whispers of the Past, a fantasy comic about a farm girl and an amnesiac elf man going on a journey to learn who they really are. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366 Age Rating: PG-13 or T+ TW: death and corpses, blood and violence, bladed weapons, profanity, depictions of racial discrimination, alcohol, miscarriage, suicide, suggestive content Magical powers can only come from the other side... When Aniya discovers a foreigner with amnesia, she sets out to help him find the answers to his nightmares. Along with their growing feelings for one another, they will uncover an identity riddled with magic, bloodlines, and betrayal. What WotP has to offer: - a unique painterly art style - in-depth world-building (including a conlang) - hurt/comfort themes - hella family drama - MAGIC - ace, bi, and POC representation - cute romance - If you like high fantasy like ATLA, this might be right up your alley
Nutty (Court of Roses)
I wanna say first of all that thank you for this server. Even if I couldn't participate often, it was a lovely place, love you all!! Court of Roses is in several places, but its main site on Spiderforest is a page ahead! Best place to read it is here: http://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/ As summer comes to an end in the kingdom of Prismal, the Bardic Festival is in full swing, bringing together musicians and minstrels from all over. But amidst the celebration, a sinister plot of murder unfolds... Follow a ragtag group of bards as they band together and travel the realm of Prismal; Merlow the Rose, half-elf, charismatic leader, bagpiper, and perpetual drunk; Diana the Fleetfoot Fletcher, human tidinit player with a heart of gold; Nocturne, brooding but classy Infernal and violinist; Sven Rockscreamer, goliath drummer and seeker of justice; and Feliks Halfdance, curious gnome who plays accordion and magically conjures their entire backup. And who knows! Mayhaps they'll solve a murder mystery together! The comic is greatly LGBTQ-friendly, and takes inspiration from both classic fantasy themes (Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, The Elder Scrolls, etc.) as well as music across all genres. Specific pages and scenes might even include their own suggested theme songs in the author notes. Contains Fantasy Violence and Alcohol Use(edited)
AntiBunny
You can as always read my comic at http://AntiBunny.net/ and is a film noir inspired story about anthropomorphic rabbits and the difficulty with coexisting with humanity. Crime and conspiracies move the plot along, but in film noir there's rarely a clear black and white.
Why should you read it? Do you like stories about crime and conspiracies? Do you like bunnies? Do you want to see a contrast of cute and grim, and see relatable characters who deal with mental health issues, and fight a struggle for acceptance? Do you ask yourself the question what is identity? Well then this is for you.
You can find my other comic at http://nailbat.AntiBunny.net/. Nailbat is part of the AntiBunny universe, and deals with many of the same issues, but using a more straightforward and action packed superhero story. If you love superheroes and action you'll enjoy it, and maybe along the way get into the deeper lore of the AntiBunny world.
Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS
Thanks everyone who I have chattet with in here, it has been a delight <3 Wayfinders: Off Course Can be read on Tapas or Webtoons (I prefer tapas ) https://linktr.ee/snackbagstudios Whats it about? You may ask. In a world where magic is as natural as breathing, and the gods are known to actually answer some prayers, a ship is sent to keep the fragile peace between 2 countries that has been at war for 60 years. But guess what? The ship crashes almost immediately. Now the 3 only survivors, a runaway monk, with unexplained powers, the noble son and peace advocate, and a chaos child with an affinity for magic washes ashore on an unknown island and is forced together by a magical compass. With navigation, and magic being broken, it is not an easy task to cross the ocean. If only they knew of the chaos which is unravelling outside their comfortable lives. If they thought this adventure was going to be uneventful, they are in for a surprise. Why should you read it? It is a mix between the Road to Eldorado, and Avatar the Last Airbender, and if that short pitch is not enough, I don't know how else to sell it. It has fun colors, anime reference, and a lot of ocean and sinister magics Thanks to all the admins for putting in so much work in this server
Feather J. Fern
Okay, I have like three comics, and the fourth one coming soon so.....Lets get the easy ones out of the way. On Webtoons, you can read Teasday or Don't you hate it when...(DYHIW) https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dont-you-hate-it-when/list?title_no=486501 https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/list?title_no=169870&page=1 DYHIW is a gag comic, so if you want a little laugh to brighten your week, feel free to check it out. Teasday is a tea informative comic, but it's on a bit of a hiatus and ending soon. My current project is Gravitational Pull, a story about a depressed magical girl trying to save the world while also trying to get the energy to leave her bed that day.
Read it if you like magical girls, space and representation of anxiety, depression, inferiority complex and learning to take each day slowly. http://gravitationalpull.featheryterrarium.com/ And when it comes out, Go Figure is my comedy action webtoon about someone who wants to use a powerful wish to cure their asthma and allergies over anything else.
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
JOE IS DEAD A band of pirates are visiting an island and they discover the dead body of their astronomer JOSEPH CINNABAR. He leaves behind a will with mysterious instructions that none of the pirates really feel like following. The crew decide to send the least-liked and least responsible pirate of them all on a solo mission to carry out Joe's final wishes.
If you like: - Alternate historical timelines where the United States doesn't exist - Gay, lesbian, and transgender pirates - Morbid humor, death, dying - Biblical allusion - Warm colors - Alliteration - My handwriting - Birds or anything else, you will love to read JOE IS DEAD, a webcomic worked on entirely by me that will be at 150 pages within a week or so. My background is in marine biology and satirical writing, so I promise you this comic is funny and scientifically accurate.
Rated PG 13, mild violence and swearing Where can I read it Read it on http://joeisdead.com/ (the main hosting website with some functional html) or on Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead It's also on Webtoons but it's a couple chapters behind on there You can follow me on Twitter for information about updates https://twitter.com/sssfrs_
boogeymadam
Sink Your Hookteeth An LGBT+ Cosmic Horror/Love story about eldritch merfolk that fall for a pair of humans who are studying mermaids to cure a supernatural illness. CW: bodyhorror, gore, upperbody nudity, sickness, drowning, tryophobia, eye trauma, If you like:
-sea monsters
-big teeth
-painted comics
-nonbinary and binary transgender, lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual protagonists
-neurodivergent protagonists
-goofy friendship dynamics
-nasty and imperfect wlw couples
-enemies to lovers trope
-childhood friends to lovers trope
then this is a comic you might enjoy :D! It finished chapter 1 a few months ago with 195 pages, takes maybe an hour or two to read, and is currently on hiatus while I am building chapter 2's buffer. You can read it on Its own site https://hookteethcomic.com/ Webtoons https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/hookteeth/list?title_no=300709 Tapas https://tapas.io/series/Hookteeth/info
also i need to read more of these but joe is dead, wayfinders, keyspace: a winged tale, phantomarine, ghost junk sickness, the guide to a healthy relationship, and court of roses are all absolutely amazing and -chefs kiss- please give them all read if you aren't yet!
varethane
Comics!! Chirault A young half-demon named Teeko has been forced from her home, and to make matters worse, is now the size of a squirrel thanks to a wayward magic spell. Her only protection is the demon-hunter Kiran, who is a demon himself and lacks patience for children. Together, they must seek the help of a mage to reverse the spell on Teeko, but the journey is far from straightforward.. My first webcomic-- it's complete, it's a high fantasy adventure comic about finding family, fighting monsters, and also making friends with monsters (both outside and... inside). Check it out if you enjoy any of those things! http://chirault.sevensmith.net/ Wychwood Tiara is a delinquent who has been using a mysterious power to goof around for years without realizing the kind of attention it could attract. When a powerful organization finally tracks her down and attempts to recruit her, she has to decide what she really stands for. This is my new/current webcomic! It's a sci-fantasy genre-blender, with bits of post-apocalypse and urban fantasy thrown in as a treat just for fun. If you enjoy stories involving evil organizations, fire-flinging delinquents, and angsty supersoldiers, give it a look :U (Chapter 4 has just gotten started!) http://wychwood.sevensmith.net/
TaliePlume
Feather Cleanse (French: Nettoyage des plumes, Haitian Creole: Plim Geri) is a supernatural, sci-fi and military Shonen manga. Set in the year 2034 in the Haitian kingdom, Vérité Kindgom, the story follows 14 year old Soleil Andirans, her two older brothers and their cousin who joins their kingdom's military program to help Soleil find a wanted criminal and stopping a mad scientist from taking over the kingdom. This is a personal project that is very dear to me and I can't wait to share with you all hopefully around June of 2023. Why should you read it: -A positive Haitian representation -Strong female protagonist -Learning about a new culture - Family Bonds -Mad Scientists and experimentations - Criminal MasterMinds - Servant and Master relationships -Kings and Queens/Royalties -Dynamic and Impactful Fights Then, this is the comic for you.
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Alrighty cracks knuckles SunnyxRain, a webcomic about monsters surviving college.....BY THE POWER OF FANFICTION. Follow Sunny Dupont, a gluttony demon as she navigates college life and fanfic writing with the help of her housemates Liam (a qilin she roped in as her beta/editor) and Aron (an ocean naga as a fan). A story of trauma recovery and learning lessons about life and love. If you like: -housemate shenanigans -fanfic/fandom culture exploration -kickass but seriously flawed protagonists recovering from trauma - VOID CAT -LGBTQ+ cast because I can -coffee gremlin cryptid dudes -sweet slow burn romance -lesser known mythological creature representation Then this webcomic is for you to read, and y'all can come read it here! https://tapas.io/series/SunnyxRain/info and HERE https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/sunnyxrain/list?title_no=409335(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
Well, Here we go ^^ I have 2 comics right now, so: Millennium: A sci fi adventure featuring two best friends as they seek to help anyone and everyone they can, where we put together a bit of a misfit crew who are all intent on bettering themselves and the world around them. It's a lighthearted, LGBT+ Slowburn The sci fi is soft and so are the characters It's got found family, hurt/comfort, and gentle handling of heavier themes. It's easy to read and shouldn't make you think too much, it's just an hour or two of simple adventure between friends! It can be read a lot of places! My personal site: https://millennium.spiderforest.com/ Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866&page=1 Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/Millennium Comic Fury: http://millennium.thecomicseries.com/ and Tumblr!: https://millennium-comic.tumblr.com/ Time and Time Again: A noir mystery about time traveling vampires! We follow Adam, a vampire, and his subject of study, Steve, the first werewolf/vampire. The two of them are trapped in the 20's, looking to solve the mystery of a missing relic. It's a limited palette, scroll style comic if you're looking for a bit more action and higher stakes, and a more serious tone, then this one might be a better fit for you than Millennium ^^ I'm planning on finishing it up relatively soon, so get in on it now! (It's currently on a short hiatus while school is doing me in) It can only be read on tapas! https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again
kayotics
Ingress Adventuring Company You can read Ingress Adventuring Company at https://www.ingress-comic.com/ TW: some gore, blood, violence Saving the world is a pretty big deal, but what do you do once you’re done with that and no one needs you anymore? Do you become a magic professor? Do you study a convoluted thesis that no one understands? Maybe you relive the glory days by starting up a one-man adventuring party to gather mystical artifacts for people who may or may not pay you. Or, if you’re Toivo Kissa, you do all of those things. Reasons to check it out! - You like D&D or other stories inspired by it - It’s got bittersweet comedy - Very fun villains - Expressive art - Elves. Just a lot of elves. - Sad Dads and old men - LGBTQ+ cast
maxwestart
Poison Ivy Gulch is hosted on its own WordPress site: http://www.poisonivygulch.com/ Poison Ivy Gulch is a funny Western set in a frontier town in the 1870s. The protagonists are Lotta Doler, a gambler, and her kid sidekick Ace. Other characters include a marshal, an undertaker, a prospector and many extras. Poison Ivy Gulch is a spiritual successor to Tumbleweeds. If you like Blazing Saddles, you'll love this!
sagaholmgaard
Ahh dang, thanks for the heads up!! Here it is: https://tapas.io/series/_Reclaim_ My comic, Reclaim, is about a prince that has to deal with the aftermath of a successful coup. His father is imprisoned and sentenced to death, and he's in hiding with his dear bodyguard. Now he has to save his dad and reclaim the throne from the power-hungry witch warrior Irene, but how can the two of them hope to stand a chance against the entire force of the empire? And what was the real reason for the coup in the first place? This is for people who want a heartfelt fantasy story, with inspiration from Steven Universe and themes around being a better person than you were yesterday, and sticking together through hardships!
PiraPiranha
DEPARTURE is a story about dead brothers, hot guys and competent women! Lights! Camera! Action! The flaws of our predecessors are the burdens that we carry today! As galactic governance has been passed down from generation to generation of divine beings, the wars and insecurities of the previous pantheons are weighing down on our world. Whether it’s vanquishing your greatest enemies, or buying tomorrow’s cereal, keeping this flaming shipwreck of a universe together is going to require a little elbow grease, and a lot of flashy super powers! Follow Kovit, a space fighter turned part-time cook and his friends Casey (Cool, has a nice jacket) and Vermillion (Dumb, has stupid hair) as he tries to help the most powerful beings in the universe keep it together (Ostensibly by beating them up). Check it out here! http://departurecomic.cfw.me/(edited)
seetherabbit
Vulperra is an anthology comic featuring superheros, cowboys and regular common folk in the fantasy world of Vulperra. Most of the stories are about the hero Flash Gauntlet, who travels from place to place to solve problems with his magical gauntlets which were bestowed to him by the goddess of the land. https://vulperra.com/
NAAN
Legendary Beings Ara & Celi is about a young girl, Miyara, who is chosen to be the successor to a specific line of Angels – headed by none other than Ara–and with it, duties that extend beyond the physical world. Only one problem: Miyara has no desire to do the job! What will happen then, especially with Celi, Ara’s counterpart, is intent on causing chaos in her life?! You can read Ara & Celi at its main site: http://ac.jadinerhinestudios.com/ Here is the Webtoons mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/legendary-beings-ara-celi/list?title_no=59422 Doesn't have any trigger warnings (maybe that (1) page in chapter 2 is too creepy-crawly for anyone?), and it's currently on hiatus because I'm working on chapter 4, will update again when I have completed it! So enjoy the 3 chapters so far! If you like: • MAGICAL GOILS • an old school b&w shoujo manga style (according to some people, and I don't even do it on purpose ) • on that note, since the 3rd chapter, the comic is drawn traditionally! (all covers are in color and traditional) • expressive comedy • language jokes and notes • angels and demons, yes, it's one of those but is anybody really the bad guy here • a lion and a jinn walk into a bar-- • slow worldbuilding and character development • heck if I know what else, you should just check it out and tell me what you think later like in the good ol' days
L Hornsby
Heyo, I haven't been very active. I'm not used to Discord. If anybody would like some silly comics about puppies that live in the clouds and enjoy parties (and also happen to be princesses) my comic Princess Pups has you covered. It's all ages friendly so if you have younger kids you want to get into comics, it's a swell read according to my 3 years old :) https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups/info
carcarchu
@L Hornsby oh i didn't know you were in this server! i actually read your comic because our comics have really similar names ahaha
L Hornsby
Oh wow hey there! :)
I usually lurk on Instagram and Twitter these days and have been crocheting more than comics lately
mathtans
What the heck, been on hiatus more than a year but there's an archive and it's not like there's any dangling plot points. I personify mathematics! Because equations are people too. The hairstyles are the graphs, and there are puns.
Main site: http://mathtans.ca/
Tapas mirror: https://tapas.io/series/Any-Q
It's called "Any ~Qs" because notQ is the symbol for irrational numbers. So anything irrational, in a sense. Very G rated - maybe PG, some discussion of biological sex and tangential politics. Enjoy, possibly.(edited)
Spring-heeled Jack
Hey all! My comic is a horror comic that features some LGBTQA+ characters in the main cast. Today is also my monthly update on public sites. I do four pages at the end of the month on Tapas, Webtoons, and my website. (Patreon gets weekly updates.) It is a story of a picturesque town with a dark secret and what will be done to keep that secret. I follow a few characters through the the twisting plot and show how the darker side of this town affects them. I think this would be PG13 mostly because there will be some blood, but there are no sexual situations. Currently Tapas has the most recent free pages as I will have to do Webtoon and the website manually later today. Happy reading and please do let me know what you think! <3 Website: https://www.iamfilledwithstatic.com/crocus Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/crocusheights Webtoon: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-secret-of-crocus-heights/list?title_no=405820 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/iamfilledwithstatic
DanielHookerArt
I have a series of self published graphic novels. When all copies of the first volume sold out I posted it on Webtoon. It's sort of a Isekai Mystery Adventure, inspired by the 1980's movie Labyrinth.
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/line-of-ruin/list?title_no=232705
StickFreeks
Hi I'm Christy! I make the webcomic / graphic novel series EXTRA! It's about Extras in the backgrounds of a movie world escaping their fates of getting killed off... by going to go ask the Producer to stop killing them off. (Sort of like The Truman Show, but everyone is in on it.) You can read it at https://extra-comic.com/ I'm always looking to make new comic buddies! (edited)
Annausagi2
Hello! I joined right at the announcement of the channel shutting down, so bad timing. :,O I've been working on my webcomic Helix since 2012: Read from the start here: http://helixcomic.com/ Description/warnings: A street rat is given a second chance when he is dragged from the gutter and into a new life. Will he accept his position at the side of royalty, or fight every step of the way? -Rated M for sex (M/M, consensual), violence, nudity, language, and dark themes.- Warnings: -References to child abuse and sexual abuse.- If you can handle these subjects, I hope you'll enjoy the comic. :) Thanks for reading! UPDATES EVERY WEDNESDAY! ~ Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Annausagi2 ~ Join us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Annausagi2
Kalli
I joined right when things were shutting down too :( Just my luck Anyway! I'm Kalli and I have a fully traditionally drawn webcomic, called World of Ruan! https://www.worldofruan.com/ It's a post apocalyptic, sci fi adventure type story, following Cait, a mutant mouse/human hybrid and Roxy, her robot companion! I update every Saturday~ And I'm always down for meeting new comic friends!
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I make Children of Shadow: Ashes and Dark Wings: Eryl. Ashes is an urban fantasy / horror about teens with supernatural powers who have to team up with woodland critters to save the world from twisted monsters. It’s rated PG-13 and has mild language, graphic violence, and intense scenes. Eryl is a dark high fantasy about a fallen angel, a woman on a journey to find a dragon, and a wyvern who has been kidnapped. It’s rated 16+ and contains strong language, nonsexual nudity, and graphic violence. https://twitter.com/kickyourwrasse/status/1277315129793826816?s=21
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Only In Your Dreams! is a rom-com Drama comic featuring shoujo and future LGBT+ elements. Also a mainly BIPOC cast! Rated: PG16+ There are some suggestive language & content, and partial nudity. “Cara Luong is tired of her failed dating attempts and settles for Richie, her imaginary lover every night in her sleep. When given a chance to meet him in person for the first time, she suddenly forgets their long-term romance! Now it’s up to Cara to decide if Richie can live as a real boyfriend. That is, if she wants him to exist in the first place!” What it contains: - Dumbassery moments between a dreamer and a dream boi - Expressions that you can feel it in your soul - Main romantic interest participating in healthy masculinity and embracing femmine traits - horror elements in a romance comic? huh-- - Himbo appreciation - A mixed-Black Vietnamese protag for this romantic rollercoaster lol If you're looking something self indulgent, read it why don't you? I release pages early on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/tuyetnhip Otherwise you can check out the site! It updates once bi-weekly on Wednesdays usually! http://oiydcomic.com/ Tapas: https://tapas.io/series/Only-In-Your-Dreams Webtoon: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/only-in-your-dreams/list?title_no=115046 Other links: https://linktr.ee/oiydcomic
alizarin
I joined near the end of the server but I can't wait to participate in the reboot! So many interesting comics in here * _ * I make a comic called Patent the Sun, it basically reads like a big puzzle. It's about two characters who wake up without any memory, but slowly we learn about their whole universe and what happened to them. Oh and there's also magic, aliens, murder, and crossdressing https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/patent-the-sun/list?title_no=123560 https://tapas.io/series/Patent-the-Sun(edited)
Las Pinter
It is a pity that I was not so active here. I create the Tales From Somewhere comics, currently there are two of them: The Legend and The Secret. Both of them are high fantasy stories taking place in a fantasy world. The Legend is about three adventurers trying to survive in their realm. They are aware of being DnD like characters in a cruel world, where the DM wants to kill them as fast as he can... without luck so far. It has some comedy, action, horror and weird elements. This comic is ongoing since a long time, so expect to have big changes in the style and writing. The Secret is about an elf, who begins his journey from the world's end after an apocalyptic event. Accidentally meets a human thief girl, and now they are travelling together and figuring out what is happening to their world. This comic is currently being revamped and the story is continued parallelly. I would rate them R/17+ since they have some blood, violence, profanity and nudity. Website: https://www.talesfromsomewhere.com/ Tapas: - The Legend: https://tapas.io/series/Tales-From-Somewhere-The-Legend - The Secret: https://tapas.io/series/Tales-From-Somewhere-The-Secret Webtoons: - The Legend: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tales-from-somewhere-the-legend/list?title_no=77159 - The Secret: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tales-from-somewhere-the-secret/list?title_no=78355 And I'm on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelaspinter
quietsnooze
Radio Silence is an award winning queer coming of age webcomic about a British rock band’s rise to fame. Hitting the road on a journey of self discovery and acceptance, this coming-of-age tale gives a backstage look at friendships and the plights of fame as experienced by a modern British rock band. On the fast track toward fame, the five members of the fictional British rock band, Radio Silence, enter into an exciting new life on the road with their best friends. As they tour across the United Kingdom, they excitedly embrace this new lifestyle and all the resulting challenges, including living in close quarters with each other with little privacy, and the overwhelming reaction of the public to their new-found success. Main site: http://radiosilencecomic.com/ Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/radio-silence/list?title_no=35242 Twitter: http://twitter.com/quietsnooze
Tired Programmer
This is mine. There will be update tomorrow (in 10 hours). https://tapas.io/series/The-story-of-how-humanity-has-thrown-itself-into-the-scrapyard Civilization, technologically advanced in the past, is now in decline. Killer and hacker are trying to survive and find the answers to their questions among the ruins. What will they meet in this crazy and cruel world of misused technologies? WARNING: strong language, violence and nudity. Only for adults.
JUNK
If any creators or readers are looking for another webcomic server to hang out in, you can check out this one: https://discord.gg/qjWJt7
I'll post it in the general channel too. :3
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
I wish we could have had a bit more time, but thanks everyone for creating such a great space for webcomic creators!! I make HANS VOGEL IS DEAD: an antifascist fairy tale with elements of historical fantasy. A German fighter pilot is shot down and killed during the Battle of Britain. When he wakes up in a fairytale afterlife, he learns what the evil he served has destroyed, and must undo the damage of fascism to become a better person. The end of Volume 1 is coming in the next two weeks, and September will be the fifth anniversary! You can read it on Webtoons: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/hans-vogel-is-dead/list?title_no=62633 and find me on twitter! https://twitter.com/chjorniy_voron
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
This was such a great discord, hopefully we can keep in touch and still chat about comics and such my twitter is : https://twitter.com/Haruh2 Here is my comic Colony Life, ive been working on this for abit and will always love making this comic no matter what https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/colony-life/list?title_no=193784
boniae
I regret that I wasn't more active in here besides occasional lurking, but I always think back fondly to the CTP chat that my comic was discussed in, it was the first time I ever got to see so much in depth feedback and analysis on my comic and I will forever appreciate this server Four Corners is set in 1995, Yokohama, as the story follows Kazuhiro Tsuchiya who now leads his deceased brother's legendary gang, the Four Corners. Kazuhiro is approached by Hideki Yuhara, a schoolmate who claims to have vital information that Kazuhiro should be wary of. The two unlikely delinquents pair up to figure out the reason as to why gangs in the city are being brutally eliminated...though the unraveling of the mystery is darker than it appears. How far will Kazuhiro and Hideki go to rest their case? If you're looking for a slow burn lgbt romance, 90s manga nostalgia, drama, mystery, and a story with a general theme of: misfits who come together against dangerous odds to protect others, especially the ones they love—come check it out! https://tapas.io/series/four-corners/ http://fourcornerscomic.com/ https://twitter.com/boniaeart
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
I'll really miss having a new comic to read every week! My comic is called Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R. It's a story of a small woman from a small town who goes on adventures across a strange kingdom. Action, comedy, and very, very slow burn romance... http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/ https://tapas.io/series/sgkdr https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/super-galaxy-knights-deluxe-r/list?title_no=41795
LeahVillart
I haven't done much work or anything in general these past months because they've been utter shit for me. This year had stuff breaking in my home, my grandma died from covid, family issues, found out my 9yo dog has lymphoma (blood cancer) and I got to a break point and I'm trying to recover from all the shit. Now it's late and I'm tired so I'm gonna make a super sleepy pitching~ I make Teach Me To Kill a horror-comedy webcomic about a school of villains and killers where a new seemingly innocent teacher arrives to help the worst class become the horror legends they are "destined" to become. [IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH] If you like contradicting/opposite genres or themes you'll find it here, violence, blood, kills, but all done with a cute colorful style where nothing is as it seems. With a cast made of crazy humans, detectives, monstergirls and guys like -our sexy looking hybrid vampire Daki who didn't ask for any of the cards she's been dealt and only wants to find true love and not something attracted by her vampiric aura. - Our lil raven kid Nayla who is a sugar bomb ready to explode, but can break a mountain in two. - Kyllian, a boy who's managed to make a personality out of each of his expressions, which sometimes is helpful and others a horrible mistake. - Q.Bee, an innocent looking girl who radiates sensuality in some weird way luring her victims into her trap. You never know what she's thinking or could do at any moment. the cast and world is really huge and don't want to spoil more, but it's filled with slice of life, mystery, action, dark humor, romance, fantasy, paranormal stuff. A total mix. If you give it a read, thanks for doing so and hope you like it! <3 http://teachmetokill.com/(edited)
Comic Tea Party
This concludes our final #creator_babble chat. Thank you so much to all the wonderful creators who have participated in this chat over its existence. It has been great to see your enthusiasm for the craft of webcomics, as well as learn your unique stories of how you pursue it. We are positive these conversations have helped many other creators out, so we appreciate you having them. For this conversation, and all past #creator_babble chats, you’ll be able to find them archived here: https://comicteaparty.com/creatorbabble
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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FIC: keep my heart from moving
The first thing Fourteen notices, with the absentmindedness of someone missing the forest for the trees, is that Tender’s hair is a different color than they remember. It’s not different enough that she could’ve dyed it, just a slightly different shade of purple, a little warmer than they thought it was, poofing out from under her hat.
Or: Tender/Fourteen, a reunion after a breakup. Modern AU, 2.2k.
AUcember || read on ao3
#
The community center is barebones - literally not even walls in place, just barely the skeleton of a building. Fourteen has to wear a hard hat in order to go inside, which is one of those things that they try not to act excited about. Hard hats mean some kind of excitement, which is something that they’ve been sorely lacking lately.
Not that excitement is the be-all end-all or anything. They became a social worker because they decided the excitement was less important than the impact. They’re doing good things, safe things, things that are good for the community here.
Still, there’s something refreshingly… normal, having to duck under beams and watch their step as they walk through the guts of the building. They have to lift a hand to hold their hard hat in place as they follow the contractor. Much better than sitting in an office all day.
“This’ll be the main room,” says the contractor, whose name Fourteen has already forgotten. He looks like a Mark. Tough guy, good handshake, didn’t seem at all put off by how Fourteen was dressed today. They like Mark. “We’re thinking from there-” he points to a corner with plenty of support beams in place- “to here.” To a corner that’s clearly marked off.
Fourteen nods, because they’re really not here to judge the building itself. They’re here because the company they work for wants someone to actually see the building, and Gig couldn’t make the drive up from Skein.
“Lots of visits today,” continues Mark - no, it’s not Mark, it would be easy to remember something like Mark. Maybe it’s something simpler. Steel? No, too on the nose for a contractor, Fourteen would remember that. He’s still talking, something about a visit from their angel investor, which - well, maybe they should listen. The community center was a passion project, and when all hope had seemed lost they’d gotten a donation from an anonymous investor. More than what they’d needed, enough that they could start thinking about things like a second center, if this one went well.
Shit, not-Mark is still talking.
Fourteen schools their face into their best impression of someone who is definitely listening, but before they have time to actually start registering words again, they hear footsteps behind them. They’re already turning around when they hear the person approaching say “I’m so sorry I’m late.”
They know that voice.
The first thing Fourteen notices, with the absentmindedness of someone missing the forest for the trees, is that Tender’s hair is a different color than they remember. It’s not different enough that she could’ve dyed it or anything, just a slightly different shade of purple, a little warmer than they thought it was, poofing out from under her own hard hat. And she’s wearing shoes that Fourteen could never have imagined her wearing before this, far too… sensible. Heavy coat, although her clothes underneath it look as Tender-esque as ever.
And, Fourteen’s brain supplies helpfully, Tender is standing in front of them, looking as surprised as Fourteen feels.
“Not a problem at all,” says not-Mark, who has not noticed the crises happening before his very eyes. “Assuming you’re representing the investor.”
“Representing, right,” says Tender, who’s normally a better liar than this. But the way she says it, the way her eyes flit up and down Fourteen’s body, are the loudest, clearest telegraph: she’s the investor. And she wasn’t expecting to see them here.
Fourteen opens their mouth to- to what, ask their ex why the hell she’s funding their passion projects but couldn’t return their calls? - but not-Mark pushes past them, hand outstretched. “March Apex,” he says, and Fourteen goes to make eye contact with Tender out of habit, out of inside joke. She could always tell when they’d forgotten a name, was normally pretty good at finding an excuse to whisper it in their ear.
Tender doesn’t meet Fourteen’s eyes, just shakes March’s hand. “Tender Sky,” she says. “Happy to make your acquaintance. I won’t be here long-”
“Stay as long as you like,” March says, which kicks him a dozen steps down in Fourteen’s estimation. And then, in a move that sacrifices another two dozen steps, he turns and says, “This here is, uh, a rep from the nonprofit running this-”
“Sanctuary of Greater Seneschal,” Tender says. Goddamn it, she knows exactly why they’re here. “Yeah, uh, we’ve met.”
“Yes we have,” Fourteen says, far too curtly to their own ears. Tender doesn’t even fucking look at them. They’re going to kill Gig when this is over, not because this is his fault but because they need something that’s going to make them feel better. “March, thank you for the tour, it’s been lovely, but I’ve received word from one of my offices that they need a consultation.”
“Didn’t even see you take the call,” March remarks, cementing him firmly as Fourteen’s least favorite person in the world.
“Offices?” Tender says, still not quite looking them in the face.
Fourteen can work with that. They adjust their hard hat and glance away. “I, ah, I’m not corporate anymore. I do consulting work for a couple of nonprofits in Seneschal.”
“Oh.” She shifts, just slightly, so she’s looking over Fourteen’s shoulder. “I didn’t realize you were still in the city. I thought you left.”
“I thought you left too,” Fourteen snaps. Her eyes actually meet theirs in surprise, and they take a deep breath, trying to calm the way their stomach is roiling. This is business. This has to be business. “You probably won’t see me again, I’m not the primary person working on this project. If you’ll excuse me-”
“Fourteen-”
“If you want to talk, you have my number, I assume.”
Tender doesn’t flinch, but her eyes narrow. Fourteen still doesn’t exactly understand what happened. Sure, they’d been fighting about plenty of things, about Fourteen quitting their job and about Tender taking a new one. But it was still the nastiest kind of shock when they came home one day and she was gone. Anything that could be called completely hers was missing from the apartment. She hadn’t answered calls or emails, not from Fourteen.
And now she’s here, apparently rich enough to fund random passion projects for nonprofits, not making eye contact with them.
“Mark, it’s been a pleasure,” Fourteen says, not quite looking at Mark - shit, March, that’s probably rude, but they need to get out of here. “Someone from Sanctuary will be in touch with you again. Thank you for your time.”
March says something that Fourteen doesn’t hear as they leave the construction site. They step through what they’ve been told will be an entryway, a game room, a quiet room. They’re not even sure where they’re going, but next thing they know they’re sitting in their car, fumbling with their phone.
Gig picks up on the second ring, because he’s more plugged in than anyone Fourteen has ever met. Well, almost anyone. “Hey, how’s the tour?”
“The angel investor is Tender,” says Fourteen. And then, because Gig probably still wants an actual answer, “The center looks good. It’s mostly just construction right now.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold on a second.” Gig says something muffled that Fourteen can’t catch, and then comes back to the phone. “Tender as in your fiancee?”
“We were never technically engaged,” Fourteen points out, because something about saying ex-fiancee has always felt so much sadder than ex-girlfriend. At least people assume that an ex-girlfriend wasn’t as serious.
“Your ex-girlfriend who packed up and left two weeks after you proposed,” Gig says, because he is good at many things, but not this. “She’s our angel investor for the community center?”
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“I mean, why would she put money into this? Is your name in a press release or something?”
Fourteen barks out a laugh and scrubs a hand down their face. “You think she’d drop as much money on a project as she did just because I was involved peripherally?”
“You’re not peripheral,” Gig says patiently, and for a second Fourteen is overcome with warmth. They don’t always agree with Gig, but the man has a way of making everyone feel like they’re being listened to. “And I mean, why else would she do it? She doesn’t really have a history of philanthropy or anything, right?”
“Not that I know about, but it’s a shit way to make amends.”
“Oh, no, for sure, that’s fucked up.” He pauses. “Is now a bad time to tell you I can’t make it to the meeting on Friday with the investor’s representatives?”
Fourteen takes a deep, cleansing breath. They do not feel cleansed. “Now is the worst time to tell me, yes.”
“Oh,” Gig says. “Then just, like, forget that, and I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“ Gig. ”
“Vanya has to go to court,” he says, and, fine, that makes sense. Gig does a lot of work with Sanctuary, but his first commitments have always been to his people in Skein, especially Vanya and all her kids. “Send someone else.”
“There’s no one else.”
“Then you have until Friday to get ready. That’s good, right?”
“Terrific,” Fourteen says. “I don’t know why I called you.”
“Yeah, you do,” Gig says, which doesn’t make sense, except for the part where it does. “I have to go, but we’ll talk tomorrow or something if you really, really can’t do it.”
“We’re talking tomorrow either way,” Fourteen says. “Tell Vanya I say hello. Goodbye, Gig.”
They hang up halfway through Gig saying goodbye, and lean forward to press their forehead against the steering wheel. There’s a major difference between seeing Tender pop up in their friends’ Facebook posts three times a year and seeing her at their job. And just as major a difference between seeing her once and seeing her once a week.
Their phone buzzes, and they answer it without looking. “Gig, unless this is about Vanya-”
“Oh,” Tender says, and Fourteen groans without meaning to. “Sorry, I just- I thought you would still have my number. I don’t know why.”
“I do have your number,” they say tiredly. “I didn’t look at my phone before answering, Tender, I wasn’t exactly expecting you to call. I thought you would still be in the building tour.”
“Oh,” she says again. “I just- I know I don’t have much of a right to say this, but I don’t want you to hate me.”
Fourteen slumps back in their seat. “I don’t want to hate you either, Tender. But I’d really like it if you gave me reasons not to.”
“I’ll schedule our next work meeting at that French place you like. And I’ll pay.”
“That place is closed down. They make Cambodian food now.”
“We can find another French place.”
“Tender-”
“Please,” Tender says. “Fourteen, I- I’m trying.”
“Then why is this conversation happening over a phone call?”
The tap at their window startles them so badly they nearly drop their phone, but they make a neat recovery and turn around. Tender’s brows furrow, but she makes a motion at the lock for the door.
Fourteen rolls the window down instead. It’s petty, but they’re entitled a little pettiness right now. “I really don’t have anything to say to you,” they say, more as a caution than a cruelty.
“I know,” Tender says. It’s been so long since they had the full force of her attention on them. It’s overwhelming, in all the ways they remembered, and for a second they can’t breathe. “Let me take you out to dinner.”
“That’s not fair,” Fourteen says before they can stop themself. “You left. ”
“We were fighting all the time. You weren’t exactly innocent in all this.”
“Couples fight sometimes, Tender, but fighting doesn’t always mean breaking up.”
“What, and you wouldn’t have left?”
“Of course not,” Fourteen says, far too honest for their own good. “Not without talking to you first.”
Tender sighs, some of the tension seeping out of her shoulders. She’s still wearing the hard hat. It clashes with the rest of her outfit, and Fourteen misses her so much it aches. “Let me take you to dinner,” she says again. “As a coworker.”
“Alright,” Fourteen says, as clipped as they can around the knot in their throat. “But if you ever want to go out as an acquaintance, or as a friend, you have a lot of work to do.”
Tender looks at them for a moment longer, and then nods to herself. “You name the day, and I’ll get the reservation,” she says.
Fourteen raises their eyebrows. If they didn’t know better, they’d think that’s a promise to make amends. “I’ve been told I’m meeting with you Friday.”
“Done.” She lifts her phone and pauses. “Do you like Cambodian food?”
“I haven’t been to the restaurant since it reopened.”
“Then we’ll go Friday,” Tender says. She doesn’t quite smile at them. Fourteen doesn’t quite smile back. It doesn't feel like old times. But it feels better than things have felt in years.
#twilight mirage#friends at the table#fourteen x tender#tenfour#fatt fic#aucember19#waveridden.fic#sorry i accidentally made it sad lol
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basard;; 4, 6,and 7 for silvy 24, 25, and 32 for gold :3c
:DDDD i wuv u!!!!
Silvanus:
4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
I may have answered this one b4 but that just means i get 2 pick another instance >:3 (lonk from pennslyvania to the first rep to this q)
The second time that Silvanus witnessed something that fundamentally changed them was probably when they met Luljeta. This is gonna sound pretty cheesy, and my next choice probably would have been when Gold was outed as a half-demon or when Ky revealed himself willing to murder to keep his love safe, but - these things didn’t really change Sil. Or, they did. I’m getting all jumbled up here - those instances are what made Silvanus believe in the whole love thing in the first place, watching their two idiot brothers (because Sil knew how this was going to go down, okay, he’d been calling Ky a brother-in-law for months if not years at this point) figure out they loved each other enough to defy the whole world and win.
No, but some part of them knew that love existed for other people, but Sil was also the elder of the Spell-Smith brothers. He saw what Morgana did to their father, and some part of them that wanted desperately not to get that hurt ever whispered to them that love just was not in the cards, not for them, no ser no way. No thank you. But then, this is so cheesy, they met Luljeta, and they were just floored. Like, Ky and Gold went on for years after that that they were just as bad as they were, and like, they didn’t even have the whole pining for literal years problem, so what was their excuse? No, they just kind of... they interacted with her, and she was so much sunshine, brilliant and chaotic and inevitable, and they think “Yeah. Yeah, I could try for her.” And that changed them. That changed them forever.
And yeah, pretty much anyone with eyes knows that :)
6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
Flames. It’s always been flames, before Ky even came into their family, flames. It’s always been their worst irrational fear. Eventually their fear of fire gets better and worse, better in their conscious mind (their brothers are fire elementals, and they’ve learned to recognize the warmth of family that comes with the flames) but in their subconscious, in their dreams, it gets worse, so much worse, when he heard of the Druidic Genocide that happened in Blithe during the war.
Rot eventually is added to their bad dreams at night, and sometimes, even during the day.
Another theme: time distortion. Speedups, slowdowns, all the time; even in good dreams. They can never make sense of it. To me, though, it symbolizes their fear of immortality while knowing, again and again, without fail, they would make the same decision of choosing a good, healthy tree. Because it wasn’t for them. It was for her. And whatever comes, whatever pains or numbs them, they will remain, steadfast and sturdy against the flow. And hey - life does bring joy, too. There is always a silver lining.
On a less serious note: purple tones. They dream in pastels and forests and running, flying. They dream of letting go of their cold facade in front of the whole world of nature around them, laughing and crying and smiling and it’s just so liberating that they know they can never do this in reality in front of anyone but their family. They love it. They sing with the birds and they braid their hair and it doesn’t mean anything, they’re not an officer there, they’re just... a druid. No responsibilities, just a connection with what’s around them that they were robbed of when they were young and that they would be damned if they didn’t allow for themself now.
Also ducks sometimes :p
7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?
I guess I accidentally already answered this one,,,,, xDDDD
Gold:
24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?
Oh this boy has some Issues, as you well know xD
When he was young, he would trust so absolutely so quickly. See: his first summoning of Ky. Immediately the kid went “ah yes, new friend!” even as Ky was freaking out, as one would, if one was seven and just summoned across enemy lines, but whatever. He snuck into wizard pentagon and batted not one eyelash at the officials with weapons chasing after him; which may be more akin to stupidity than trust, but anyway.
But then he got to know Ky better, and it sounds bad, but Ky taught him distrust, Not by betraying him, no, but Ky is the one who taught him that not everyone has the best of intentions. Not everyone is Golden, who sees someone who is by all rights an enemy and goes “ah yes, new friend!” Some people have ulterior motives, and Ky murmurs this to him, and Golden, ever the strategist, goes duh, because he knows this (he just doesn’t believe it yet. He’s only a kid).
Until his eyes find Ky’s newest bandage-to-soon-become-a-scar, and his fingers brush it, and he goes okay, I trust you.
He believes it when he is discovered as a half demon, and the previous Head General tries him in front of his whole military and cuts his braid, takes his wand and ID, strips him of his citizenship and chains him and leaves him to starve. Some people have ulterior motives, he whispers to himself the first night as he cries. He believes him now in a way he couldn’t before.
So he doesn’t trust in the way he could before, either. It takes him so long now, though he’s developed an instinct for it; if you ring the instinct in a bad way, it’ll be never, but ring it in a good way and it’ll be much quicker than it would be otherwise.
Once you’ve earned his trust, though, it is very, very hard to break.
25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?
Again, he has an instinct for it, and he certainly won’t convict you if he has no evidence, but he certainly would be willing to look for it, you feel? He’s been strategizing and fighting battles and winning them and losing them too long to ignore a bad feeling. That said, he still kinda halfway keeps his childhood naivete; he looks for the best in people even if he doesn’t particularly trust them yet, and there is the difference. However, yeah, that changes real quick if he’s close with the person because - it takes so much to be close to him, and part of him can’t reconcile that with that person being suspect of anything above a harmless prank, really. He can be forced to see reason with hard unequivocal evidence, but that pretty much is what it takes. He’s got a personal rule not to suspect his friends anyway, because those are the only people guaranteed not to have ulterior motives.
32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.
The kid cannot handle watching his friends die and knowing that his own clock is ticking while his brothers - still technically is, but at a much slower, bigger scale. Because he’s known his brother long enough to know this: their biggest fear is being alone, and they’re on the fast track for it. Forever. Or, not forever. The foreseeable future, which, for Sil, is a hell of a long time.
Or a scenario where Ky is in pain, in trouble, and he can do nothing. Replace Ky’s name with anyone he cares about, really, because that’s what it all comes down to, honestly. He can’t handle helplessness. That’s what it is about Sil’s situation, Luljeta’s, Ky’s way back in the day - that despite everything Golden is, who he is, even with his power he cannot save everyone. He can’t shield everyone from everything. That’s not how it works.
And one day, he won’t even be there to try, and that thought terrifies him as much as it makes him grieve for his brother.
And for his love, because he will be the one to hold the blade despite how much Ky loathes it, and he can’t even spare him from that. Because he can’t do it himself.
Helplessness.
#cold as flame#beheading the rose#technically?#by barest technicality#silvanus#silver spell-smith#silvanus spell-smith#i can never remember their fucking tag#why does this boy have so many names somebody help him#angst#abuse mention#?#uhhh#yeah#golden spell-smith#golden#why does everyone have so many goddamn names huh#HUH#im atting myself#luls#luljeta#silvyeta#kytheas trueblood#ky trueblood#ky
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Why Seller Inspiration Requirements a Transformation: Including White Hat Design to Sales
This guest post was composed by Jonathan Palay, Co-founder of , the human species set off on a more flourishing course, mostly driven by our ability to collaborate. It must come as no surprise that sales can be considered one of the oldest occupations in the world, due to the fact that from the time we started to comply, we established the requirement to persuade.
By some estimates today there are more than 10 million sales people in the world, likewise called expert persuaders. Today, the sales company exists to arrange and drive those sellers toward the actions required to negotiate revenue, causing the creation of what has been described as a coin-operated, compliance-driven culture. In
this post, let's explore why that is, why this design has actually stood the test of time, and why it may finally be ripe for a makeover.The Hamster Wheel Sales is the only service function constructed
on a variable compensation design. Over a set period, whether it be quarterly or perhaps monthly, sales associates are provided a quota. Strike your quota and make your on-target profits for the designated time period. If you push a little more difficult and exceed your quota, you can get into
accelerators to make some real cash. Miss your quota and well, there's always next time. Everybody returns to the start and begins at zero. Other than ... if you miss out on your quota enough times you can state buh-bye. The quota system uses Core Drive 6 as sellers race to capture their earning chance for the time duration prior to it vaporizes. Particularly, what Yu-Kai calls Fixed Action Rewards remain in play here, where the associate is encouraged from the beginning by seeing much they will make based on just how much they sell. Soldier Reporting For Duty If the comp strategy is so overwhelming in drivingmotivation (which it is ), how do we get sellers to do anything that's not straight connected to selling an offer? The response is ... we make them! The sales company is developed like a traditional hierarchy, just like the army. Reps report to a Frontline Manager, who report to a Regional Manager, who report to the Head of Sales. Much like any excellent hierarchy, orders get handed down and need to be complied with. The very best example might be the CRM (Consumer Relationship Management )system.
The CRM is the bane of most leaders presence as they attempt and determine ways to get their associates to keep it precise and as much as date as a way to see selling activity that ultimately is a prerequisite for sales. Sales do not just magically occur after all! Keeping the CRM approximately date is a discomfort and associates often feel like they are doing it for management and not for themselves.
without a strong required and support from the Frontline Manager it does not get done. The sales hierarchy is developed to drive Core Drive 8: Loss and Avoidance.Involvement at sales training, using and addicted. While they are very strong in encouraging habits, in the long run they typically leave a bad taste in our mouths since we seem like we have actually lost control. Sales associates are taught to push difficult to win every last offer, specifically when there is big-time compensation on the line. Having to kick it into high gear quarter after quarter is fatiguing, as is the needed obsession to hit quota. It is not surprising that lots of salespeople ignore anything that they think does not clearly tie back to hitting their quota. Building a Sustainable Sales Company These Black Hat forces have been around for years so they are fairly frustrating
and effective at driving the seriousness the sales organization needs to hit its number. But especially with today's millennial-minded sales representative who has unprecedented access to information and worths function over settlement, these forces left uncontrolled threaten to churn reps from your company. Through Octalysis, we can see why a commission structure may eventually hurt efficiency and job complete satisfaction. To counteract these forces sales leaders require a thoughtful strategy to counteract. Inning accordance with Yu-Kai, long-term engagement in the work environment includes supplying a path to mastery and significant autonomy. These are understood as White Hat chauffeurs, making us feel powerful, fulfilled and satisfied. Let's talk about how both can be sustainably executed within the sales organization. Make Selling a Game Lots of marvel how someone can get up every day understanding they are going to hear"no"4 from 5 times(which is if they're any great). Constant rejection suffices to put anyone in a bad mood. Successful sales associates take a different approach. There's an old saying in sales "every no gets you
closer to yes. "Using
Core Drive 3: Empowerment and Imagination, organizations can move from a selling culture to a learning culture. To do so, ask the question"why?"At it's the majority of basic, "why did we win and why did we lose"
are concerns that are asked from time to time, yet the responses aren't commemorated. But the very best sales representatives understand precisely why, and it is the event and publicizing of that knowledge that opens the black boxand makes the process of figuring something brand-new out enjoyable. Who wants to operate in an organization that thinks it knows whatever? Ask exactly what does your organization wish to discover this quarter and put the onus on your sales representatives to help you discover it. Or flip it around, exactly what do your sales representatives believe YOU must learn?Measure and track development onthese essential knowings, ultimately utilizing them the next quarter to optimize your go-to-market and empower the sales company to more effectively hit its' number. See the Forest from the Trees The emphasis on quota attainment develops an extremely short-term orientation for everyone in the sales company that emanates from the top.
"> When the typical period of the Chief Sales Officer is 24 months and is reasonably one bad quarter away from being let go, investing in individuals can be a difficulty. A lot of companies combat this by creating"
career courses". The typical career
path goes from entry-level organisation advancement (prospecting and consultation setting )to quota-carrying rep(closing deals)to Frontline Supervisor (handling a group of representatives). Promotion is largely based on lead to the previous role. Rather of profession courses, whatsales organizations truly need are "development paths". While success in one role is a favorable indicator, the proficiencies needed to prosper in the next function are different. There's a modest leap from organisation development to quota bring representative and a much bigger leap to frontline manager. There are more specialized functions being developed every day that depend on between. Utilizing Core Drive 2: Advancement and Achievement
, organizations can concentrate on making the abilities had to succeed in the present role AND the next function known, commonly observable and even practicable. Spraying in sufficient routine advancement with the difficult work of selling is crucial to showing sellers an inspiring course forward. Time for Your Remodeling The Black Hat drives that have actually made sales companies effective for decades aren't disappearing anytime quickly. The status quo is difficult to break.
The sales companies that will separate themselves inthe minds of today's sales representative are the ones that create a balanced inspirational environment by putting White Hat methods on more equivalent footing with Black Hat strategies. Think about exactly what drives inspiration in your sales company. Is it time for a transformation? Do you want to explore these White Hat strategies and the best ways to sustainably execute them? Please share exactly what you see and
exactly what is or is not working for you or your company in the comments. Jonathan Palay is Co-Founder at CommercialTribe, a SaaS platform to onboard, develop and coach sales professionals. Find out more of Jonathan's work here. There is a gamified mentorship journey with Yu-kai Chou?I have actually constructed a genuine life RPG where you level up your individual and professional life called Octalysis Prime.
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NETcinity Sales Program Investigated
https://www.slideshare.net/NETcinity/netcinity-sales-program-investigated
The Good: NETcinity seems to be a very interesting service that most any business owner would be impressed with. They also seem to have a solid training program where you gain access to expert training (online and weekly) to become a salesperson for their patented Bluetooth technology advertising subscriptions. It appears this company has figured out how to modify the Bluetooth beacon’s message instantly to benefit business owners.
The Bad: The program offers no refund for a sales representative that purchases a beacon, and there is the possibility that the market could become oversaturated within 2 to 5 years. There is no apparent way to advance with the company, and there’s is no guarantee that the company wouldn’t someday be acquired by a large entity like Google or Amazon. The sales contract they offer you as a rep gives you “three times your monthly pay” lump sum payout if they were to be bought out. But you could lose your monthly residual income after your lump sum payout because the acquiring company would have no obligation to pay you.
The Bottom Line: NETcinity might be worth a try if you have a sales background or if you’re interested in starting a sales career with the training that is provided through the company. I do see the power in what they have to offer, and I foresee they WILL get the attention of large entities as they rapidly grow because it seems no one else has this technology yet. Everyone reading my post needs to also know that this company is just a start-up, and there are a lot of stories of failed start-ups.
NETcinity Review
What is NETcinity? Well it’s a marketing company that utilizes Bluetooth technology advertising platforms to “market” to passing smartphone users within 260 feet with deals or updates for businesses of all different types. It allows “mom and pop” businesses the opportunity to compete in the market with retails giants such as Target, Starbucks and the list goes on.
I was a bit perturbed that they want to charge sales representatives for their supplies! I understand the Bluetooth Beacon is needed to do an effective presentation, and that the sales materials need to be provided to keep company compliance. But it seems as though most companies nowadays are moving into a pay to play attitude with independent contractors. On a brighter note, I do appreciate that the $99 monthly fee is cancelled indefinitely after making 5 client sales. If they are going to continue sending unlimited supplies, I suppose that 5 sales are easily obtainable.
These notifications they call NearMe Notifications are sent via Bluetooth signal within 260ft of the Beacon for which the individual business has placed in or around their business. These beacons can also be utilized for mobile businesses as well. (Food trucks, etc.) Realtors, can use this in the homes sending out a “tour of a home” before the future home buyer even steps foot in the home! The industry is wide-open and is the wave of the future in advertising in marketing.
NETcinity DID NOT create the Bluetooth beacon though. Instead they have apparently created a patented online platform that uniquely allows a business owner to create attractive ads and/or notifications that appear on passing mobile devices and can be altered or changed in seconds! During their demonstration on the recruiting webinar, it seems to work great on any device with Google Chrome, or on any of the company’s community APP’s. I also see that Apple’s Safari Browser is about to start reacting to Bluetooth beacons as well. We will have to see if that’s true as time goes on. I read where Steve Jobs did say that “Bluetooth Beacons would be the future” before passing away though.
What other benefits does NETcinity offer business owners? It not only allows the business owner to change their notifications or deals, but it also tracks their mobile traffic that the beacon is hitting 24/7! Pretty cool stats. All of this at what seems like a competitive price? I don’t know. If there are no competitors for NETcinity at the time I type this, is it a competitive price? If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? So far, they have the market cornered.
What else? A 30-day moneyback guarantee to all clients, and no contracts or commitments. As a salesman myself, this is unheard of in marketing and should increase trust from the clients. It also shows me that they must be confident in all the testing thus far. Right?
Would selling NETcinity be a good fit for me?
After attending their recruiting webinar and learning what NETcinity is, how do you think this might be a “fit” into your availability for a sales position with this company? As I mentioned earlier, if you get beyond the monthly $99 until a 5 sales criterion is made then it may be a “good fit” for you. If you do NOT plan on selling this to 5 businesses, then I recommend that you DO NOT DO THIS!
You may feel as I do…that this is “not fair” to be charged to sale a product. So why do they use this type of modality? Are they just trying to make money off of the sales reps?
From what I investigated the $99 per month “pays” for monthly access to the NearMe Portal, a corporate email account along with your sales materials (unlimited brochures, and flyers)
It most importantly pays for your own beacon that allows you to demo what a business owner is able to do with their own beacon. Sales reps can change ads on their own beacons to live demo to potential business clients.
Looks like you get a direct VP of Sales person to work closely with. That is if you consider “close” to be a phone call away in their Texas home office at least. I did call two times to see how responsive they were, and found they answered each time. But a true test would mean many more phone calls.
From what I investigated, once you have signed up to become a referral partner (a.k.a. Sales Representative) you cannot progress to management. My guess is they have recruited management leaders in certain areas, and do not allow you to advance upwards within the company.
I was sickened at my stomach when I first looked in to this company though. I was excited to see a strong, unique product that I could have fun selling. But I must admit I thought they had set the sales program up as a multi-level marketing program because of the bonus offerings of BMW cars and iPads. That’s a classic MLM/ Network Marketing company move! Yikes! However, after investigating the company deeper, I could confirm that they are in fact direct sales only, and have no network marketing listings or traits. Whew! In my opinion, there’s no faster way to ruin an excellent product. That’s just my opinion of course, and I’m sure you’ll have your own.
There is training as I mentioned in “The Good” above, which is provided through the company to maximize your efforts in sales and commissions earned through these sales. Of course, with anything it is up to YOU to attend or review that sales material(s) that is provided, so there is NEVER a guarantee of success to sell for this company. However, if you sign-up it clearly states that NETcinity doesn’t provide a refund to sales people. If you get in there and decide this isn’t for you, you’re out of luck on your $99. I’ll say it again, DO NOT JOIN THIS COMPANY if you do NOT plan on making those first 5 initial sales!
The Community Marketing part of the webinar was a little confusing at first. I later reviewed the recorded playback of the webinar and here is what I gathered from the plethora of information.
They have a community, or city mobile APP for everyone’s city in the U.S. and Canada, and
They are heavily advertising that local APP for the benefit of the sales rep, and
From what I can tell, this interesting marketing campaign would supply leads and even “warm up” the business owner you’re about to go perform a NETcinity demo with.
I have never personally witnessed a marketing setup quite like the way they are marketing your local community APP. I’m going to trust that since this same company has created this unique Bluetooth beacon advertising platform, that they hopefully know what they are doing with their own internal marketing program. Time will tell on this part.
I wanted to give you the good, the bad, and the bottom line, in order for you to make a sound choice or decision. As a non-biased self-employed individual, I wrote this article so that you have some info to make an educated decision for becoming an independent salesperson for this NETcinity. With that being said, always review the information that you are given not just here but everywhere before deciding if this might be a “fit” for you.
With that being said, I will refrain from publicly alerting any readers of my own personal decision to sell these services for NETcinity (or not). This sales position will take an ongoing effort during the week that I myself may not have time for.
I will conclude that on a scale from 1 to 10, I’m going to rate this sales rep opportunity as an 8. A perfect 10 could have been achieved by NETcinity if the company already had a few years under its wings. But at the end of the day, NETcinity is just a start-up company at this point. So, if being in on the beginning of a company doesn’t spook you, then you might consider going for it. I wish you all the best in all that you decide!
Find Out More At: http://www.wdrb.com/story/35717051/netcinity-careers-the-path-for-success
Originally Appeared At: https://netcinity.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/netcinity-sales-program-investigated/
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New Post has been published on MASSthetics
New Post has been published on http://massthetics.net/bulletproof-your-health/
7 Simple Ways To Bulletproof Your Health
7 Simple Ways To Bulletproof Your Health
Chances are that you’re cruising the pages of MASSthetics reading this because building a hallmark physique is something that entices you, excites you, and is one of your main motivations for training in the first place.
A goal off which, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with.
But despite what you may think or have been told, building a hallmark physique reaches well beyond simply training dirty and eating clean (el-oh-el). Or wearing t-shirts proclaiming your warmup to be another’s one rep max. Or insinuating that if you’re not going to go hard, you should go home.
Yeah, fuck those shirts.
Anyway. To create a truly powerful shift in your physique, there’s raised a call for a change in your lifestyle as a whole. Often, it’s this lifestyle shift itself that poses the greatest battle for many.
Many won’t admit this, but the “key” to building a physique that you’re proud of, and represents your hard work is more deeply rooted in tending to your health and laying a solid foundation for yourself rather than it is knocking out 3058 curls every other day.
Or chasing a dangerously heavy bench press.
Or not taking days off, because, “bro.”
Or snorting pre-workout in hopes of faster absorption and greater effectiveness.
You see what I’m getting at here? All too often, otherwise well-intentioned lifters will chase the shiny object (moving as much weight as possible, training every single day for hours on end, or snorting pre-workout) while losing sight of the much less sexy dull, blunt objects that will actually help move the needle forward.
Such as the 7 dull, blunt objects below, that if ingrained into your life, will see your physique begin to make the changes you’ve been pushing for.
Read on.
#1. Cardio
We might as well start with the one thing that’s most likely to have you heave your computer into the street, pull out your your hair in fits of disbelief, and cause you to never visit this site again.
And so it is.
Because, there is value in doing regular cardio throughout the year. No, it won’t eat away at your muscle. No, you won’t “lose precious gains,” and no, it doesn’t have to be drab, boring, or as painful as pulling teeth.
Cardio is quite literally anything that elevates your heart rate for a given length of time. Which for your overall health, mental state, wellbeing, and longevity is a really fucking good thing.
Again, this is extending beyond adding more muscle to your frame, or chasing dangerously low levels of body fat.
The best way to go about implementing regular forms of cardio into your life?
Find a method you enjoy, and make it a regular habit 2-4 times a week.
Go for walks, take a bike ride, do some sprints at a park, enjoy a long hike, basically anything where you’re moving at a moderate clip for a length of time. The goal is simply to elevate your heart rate, aid your circulation, and move like your body was meant to.
Admittedly, it’s been far too long. But, sprinting is my favourite by far.
#2. Have a social life
Humans are social creatures. We always have been, and always will be (pending artificial intelligence hitting the mainstream and taking over).
As such, interacting with your fellow beings is important for your overall health.
Even if you’d rather hide at home.
As a personal example, I force myself to go out to cafes at least 5 times per week so that I have to have human interaction outside the gym, or online. Granted, that’s not much. But, if do nothing else with a social aspect during the week, that’s enough to keep me able to hold a conversation.
On top of that, I make a point each week of…
Scheduling sessions with a training partner, going out to feast on sushi, or *not* wearing headphones on walks.
While being able to be happy of your own accord is important, so is social interaction heathy for your mental state as a human being.
And yes, this will trickle down into your training as well.
#3. Cover your bases with simplistic supplementation
I’m not going to dive deep into this as I talked a lot about the importance of simplistic supplementation in this article on supplementing for Muscle Building and General Health. It’s nearly a cliche at this point, but supplements are just that. A supplement to your nutrition and lifestyle.
That means they don’t replace anything so much as they simply fill holes where you may otherwise be falling short. If you’re training hard, there are a few things you should be taking to help keep yourself pushing hard, healthy, and progressing.
For more, I open up the MASSthetics Supplement Cupboard and talk about what I personally use on a daily basis.
#4. Get out in the sun
Everyone could use some more of that there Vitamin D in their lives.
Vitamin D is associated with improving your mental cognition, boosting immune and bone health, as well as elevating your mood. There’s even a study (albeit just one) that points to consistent supplementation of Vitamin D over a year to promote and boost your testosterone levels. Which if you care at all about your health (and building muscle), is a very good thing.
Diving deeper into the Vitamin D rabbit hole, it plays a key role in nearly 3000 gene expressions. And that’s onto of the muscle building and strength development mentioned above.
If you live on or near the equator, you can probably get away without supplementing as the sun is *somewhat* strong there. But if live anywhere else, you’re going to want to make a point of getting out in the sun when it’s there, and fortifying yourself with Vitamin D supplementation.
See, if you live near the equator you also have access to sunsets like this.
#5. Manage inflammation
Inflammation is a silent and deadly killer.
In of itself, it has the capability to slam the breaks on any fat loss or muscle gain, even if you’re doing everything else right.
Not to mention that rampant destruction it can take on your health. Which makes managing inflammation of the utmost importance.
Thankfully, this can be done rather easily.
Supplement to support your joints (Fish oil, curcumin, glucosamine, chondroitin).
Avoid foods that cause adverse reactions (you know what I’m talking about – and I don’t care how delicious it may be).
Prioritize recovery, and don’t run yourself into the ground.
Ensure you’re getting adequate sleep.
Eat your damn veggies.
Specifically referring to the state of your joints, your joint health is directly related to your ability to train to your full potential, and well into your later years.
Don’t be a fool, and make keeping a lid on inflammation a priority (especially as it relates to your joints).
#6. Support your digestion
I believe in maintaining excellent digestion so much that I wrote an entire article on Gut Gains: How To Improve Your Digestion.
Rather than regurgitate everything, I suggest you take 5 minutes to read up on how to improve your digestion (in 12 simple steps!).
Seriously, though. It’s not hard to make massive improvements to your digestion. And the payoff will be hyuge.
Because like inflammation, the state of your digestion has the ability to help you make them gains, or halt you in your tracks.
Given the state of many people’s digestion these days, this is often the first thing I attend to when working with a new client.
Heed that…
Lemon, Salt, Ginger, and the list goes on.
All will help support and improve your digestion.
#7.Have a hobby to complement your training
As much as I love the gym, training itself, and love when others share the same feeling, it is important to have other dimensions to your life. Whether it’s spending time friends, your family, or having something that you do on your own.
Because there will invariably be times in your day (or life) where you don’t have to work, you’ve trained already, and you likely don’t want to watch hours of Netflix all day. Being able to fill your downtime with something that brings you value and enjoyment is great to have, and also adds another dimension to who you are as a person.
If you’re stuck with ideas, start by picking up a book.
Or go for a walk.
The final reps.
Health is something that is often lost on the quest for rapid fat loss or building as much muscle as possible. The forest is lost for the trees, so to speak.
Around these parts though, that won’t fly. Because without health, everything you’ve worked for will fall down, and fall apart around you.
Take care of your bottom line, your health, and the rest will take care of itself.
PS. 4 out of 5 lifters will let their rationalization hamster run wild. Building no muscle, burning no fat. The 5th lifter joined the MASSthetics Clan and put the information within the (free) Hypertrophy Handbook to good use. Problem solved. Click here to become the 5th lifter, and let me know where to send the prestigious Hypertrophy Handbook.
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Pt.10pt.2-what remains shall then be considered an asset
This is where things start to get personal… a glimpse into the dark hole that davezini digs himself into under the guise of glory, courage and virtue. Nobody who I had been close to in my previous 24 years of existence had a very clear idea of where I was going and under what circumstances. Not even me.
So it goes…
The episode we're transitioning into now caused me to conceive a new framework of fatalism and stoicism I'll carry around with me for the rest of my days. Keep reading; I implore thee.
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Walnut Creek, CA. July 22, 2016
Jimmy, Truman, Kent, and I suit up for a hippie fest somewhere in Mendocino.
We laid out all our shit in the driveway, in lieu of trying to fit our extraneous mass of supplies and rations between Kent's VW Touareg and Truman's pickup truck.
The ole 12 sheets of insulation for the hexayurt, a generator, gas cans, popups, tables, misters, totes and totes of Jimmy's wardrobe and spirit animals, and what else.
Still had to make a Costco run for food and the exorbitant amounts of liquor necessary to get us through the weekend (though the rules of the hippie fest purported a no-alcohol policy). Also a Home Depot run to replace a few sheets of insulation injured at Woogie. Of course this series of errands kept us running around the bay for a few hours. Kent likes to be prepared.
When we were finally an hour or 2 out, Kent had the fantastic idea of munching some shrooms to spice up the ride.
Me behind the wheel, I popped a stem. Within 10 or 15 minutes things were quite a bit more colorful, vibrant. We trudged on through this winding canyon road, reality becoming all but a figment of my imagination. I was jabbin' away at Jimmy in the other car via walkie, laughing and having him guide me through the rainbow road we were on.
Kent and I were lit. He decided that we needed to make one more stop for rations before reaching the festie. He was trying to find a grocery store in the next town on his smart (-er-than-him) phone. This is never an easy task for a shroomed out co-captain.
He was doing his best though, bless his heart. Until he told me to exit, upon which I started veering towards the upcoming exit. He suddenly grabs the wheel and yanks it to the left, nearly trading paint with an innocent citizen's vehicle. I scream, “What the fuck!” and he claimed to have thought that I was losing consciousness, about to drive off the road.
We locate the grocery store and I'm still high as a kite. We both wander in and split up. I walk around exchanging strange looks with people and promptly go back to the parking lot, where Jimmy and Truman have arrived, and they're macking on some honey, trying to convince her to sneak into the fest with us. Fat chance.
She took off. And Kent emerged from the store with another cart full of enough food to feed a small Mexican village. After another 30 min trying to stuff it all into our already full load, we hit the road, the sun soon to disappear behind those celestial Mendo mountains.
[Bear in mind that this is one small episode I've chosen to exemplify the buffoonery involved in being on the road with Kent. Plenty more of these to come. And mind you, getting there is just as eventful (depends on your standards) as being there, setting up, breaking down, and getting home.]
Enchanted Forest
So the weekend goes. I'm still new to the festival thing at this point, though it seems everyone around me is quite privy with it.
Besides Kent. He doesn't try to be anything but the boisterous, obnoxious self he is. This doesn't always vibe well with hippies of course, the jaded ass motherfuckers.
So there's the workshops; yoga, tantra, Indian chants, power foods, basket weaving, you name it. And there's a river snaking through the festival grounds. And there is music (but who gives a shit, really).
We happened to be camped next to a renegade stage run by Carnie's, in the parlance of NorCal hippies. These are folks that typically rep the “family” (referring to Grateful Dead family), look like gutter trash from Hippie Hill, and evidently run the drug trade at most festivals in the region and are immune to rules such as “no drugs”, “no renegade stages”, and “everyone must have a ticket”.
It's their land. Even hippies have a price tag.
They were bumping grimy, monotonous robot music the entire time. Nice people.
Day 2 I copped some speed (Adderall, people) and was jajajajabbin' around the festival grounds, getting acquainted, shooting video. Of course slamming the sauce as well.
I hit the media tent, told them about my project and they forked out a press pass, making me an official media guy.
The power of words.
From then on I was being my own damn silly self. Cruising around emphatically with my camera, my cocktail, my paisley pants (nicknamed the “Paisley Cowboy”), hitting on girls, shaking my ass, diffusing altercations between my traveling buds.
[I spend a decent chunk of my life helping people get along.]
The harmony at these sorts of gatherings is polished to the point of being questionable.
You don't see a lot of black people. Nor Mexicans. Some Asians (proximity to the bay, mind you).
You do see many sun baked, dreaded, smiling faces, clad in some variation of Aladdin or Bodhisahtva.
I don't know. I'm not hating. The culture that I was immersing myself in was just very peculiar to me- mostly white people pursuing a hedonist shortcut to feigned fulfillment.
It all seemed pretty much natural to me though. I don't dress like it, or act like it, but the 3rd eye health food transcendent haughty lifestyle is how I'm wired naturally. No need to show it.
But many of these people don't take me seriously. Because of how I dress act and project my outward image.
And many are bandwagoners that don't even take the world seriously. The world is a serious place. And sacred. And it's seriously fucked up as well. Escaping to the fucking LaLaLand of the music gathering world doesn't make you any better than a punk, a gym enthusiast, or self-absorbed businessman. No qualms- most days consist of rejoicing without inhibition in the lofty way they've chosen to live their life. I have my things. Indian snake charmers have theirs. And so do festival chasing hippies.
So what's the fucking point?
As you can tell if you've been reading along, I'm a very go with the flow kind of guy. I can't help it. It's just who I am.
It has its pros and cons. Paying rent is a pain sometimes. Working with what your menial capital permits requires seasoned problem solving abilities.
Much more, in your nararator's humble opinion, than the burb dwelling townie driving a leased 2014 Hyundai Sonata smoking vape pen thinking about the next sports game or McDonald's visit.
I like to make things complicated for myself. Which ultimately makes everything quite simple; I simply live to do whatever comes next, and handle whatever issue at hand with finesse and pizazz.
I'm a hippie at heart. By ethos. The OG hippie ethos.
Rise above the savage nature of us & them, and the world will exponentially become a better place.
Finished rambling for now. TBC
#forging#baby#savage#replacement#trending#manipulate#alpha#omega#hippie#suburbs#grungepunk#nothing#lavish#spoiled#wanderlust#dolab#enchanted forest#gathering#slow down
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