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mikodrawnnarratives · 1 year

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Before I talk a LOT (I'm not joking, A LOT)

About this au, how I stumbled upon the idea, story and all in a rushed format,

APPRECIATE THIS

TOOK FOREVER

COMPLETELY out of my general comfort zone in art BUT OH WELL LOOK AT IT :DDDDDDDD

Also serves as a good hook for what this post is about mehehehehehehehe

CUT TO RAMBLINGS

Oh I have your attention?

Excellent.

It started with me thinking and wondering about a specific fic that is unrelated to this post, frankly different fandom, and I was wondering how it would play out in a movie format, but seeing as the fic in question currently is unfinished and won't be for a while I decided to direct my attention to other fandoms, got to DCA fandom, came up with a few cute ideas i didn't write down for unfinished fics, for the record I do think it would be interesting if Solar Lunacy was a musical just saying, and then I started to think about ok what fics ARE fini-

SLEUTH JESTERS HECK YEAH

Unfortunately at the moment I don't have any digital sketches to share for some of these points and the sketches I do have are pretty messy SO I'LL JUST RAMBLE cause I already wrote down a lot of these separately

Firstly, I imagine this kind of musical being in universe kind of au. Possibly an extension of the Actor AU where the original media (tv show? movie?) got so popular it got a musical adaptation

I imagine the actual music, whether the songs or just sound track, would be heavily inspired by Jazz or smthn. Like, the genre of music most popular during the time period Sleuth Jesters is in ish. It would still be musical-like but you can tell the genre they are going for

And before continuing, to get around not actually saying "y/n" on stage cause that might be a little awkward MAYBE there could be some kind of special sound affect for the actors mics that the audience knows is y/n's name?? Half baked tho

COSTUMES

Sun, Moon and Eclipse (at least) would have highly decorated masks to match the original just added onto because they are on stage. Masks, so that there are more options for who to cast. To make up for this, the actors have to make it clear in their body language to make up for lack of expression

in productions with higher budget mayhaps one function could be the eyes have options for what emotion they could express

In most productions there will be sound effects in the background that mimic the noise that Sun Moon and Eclipse make as they move. Or at least be incorporated into the sound track ooooo

Y/n's clothes would have an easy to notice difference in quality compared to the DCAs, which makes the bell and ribbons much more noticeable on stage

Smaller note but I think y/n's make up could be kind of fun with how they show the y and n on their face

Would probably have a wig colored various shades of silver but not required

FIRST SONG FIRST SONG FIRST SONG

Would be the introduction (of course) and depict the first chapter and likely have something to do with "Until Next Time". I think possibly it would have little breaks in the song to fit in the dialogue

Honestly, in an adaptation there might just be more scenes added between the earlier chapters to fill in points in time or smthn

OR (the answer I like better) The first act uses time between chapters to fill in reader watcher on backstories or past's of characters

Actually yeah little hints would be packed in the first half

Any other songs could be filled in for the boys or y/n that could have the potential to return as a Reprise

Now listen Mandatory Eclipse Villain song(s)

this is not optional

Duets Duets DUETS

One duet could be between characters that are foils or mirror each other but it's one of those duets that have different lyrics that still match up musically

Particularly I think the latter could be used for Sun and Moon's complicated relationship with Eclipse but not completely sure where that would be, probably second half, speaking of which...

ACT ONE ends in the chapter that Y/N has to return the favor to Eclipse, where he crashes the party and they go with him, reassuring Sun and Moon that they allways can wiggle out of situations

REPRISE OF THE FIRST SONGGGGGG

Until Next Time Reprise

Which will have a moment of silence after, showing their mutual understanding yet make it perfectly clear sun and moon don't want to do resort to this

Doesn't last to long as it proceeds with the sound track DROPPING in tone as Eclipse stuffs y/n into the car, that is actually just a prop that leads to the back stage

FADE TO BLACK INTERMISSION

ACT TWO (any major costume changes or forever hold your piece) I think would start off with Sun and Moon's dilemmas first before getting back to y/n

WHICH would likely cut to y/n maybe already in the burgundy shirt but meh that's not solid

I think the way Eclipse gives them the burgundy ribbon and bell could be changed in an adaptation of the story since it would be easier I imagine to show it later than in a car set piece

(Admittedly I have to reread these specific chapters to know specifically the order) But when Eclipse drops the bombshell he knows their past, and I think he leaves them alone for a bit after that, SONG TIME (though song could still happen with him there honestly)

Something similar to the theme "I thought I burned everything" and would just

And after that likely more backstory could be cut to depending on what it is and how relevant it is at that point. WOuld be much grimmer in tone but hey it's the second act.

Though if this opportunity is taken, this could be reprised later when Y/N proposes to the boys, with the necklaces to show being more comfortable with their past

More song opportunities with Y/N's trust issues, Sun and Moon's brother issues, etc

Final act-ish, where y/n first runs away after Sun and Moon "find out" and from there would have more focus on the score than any songs that could be fit into that small frame.

My thoughts went kind of to Heather's Dead Girl Walking Reprise and then Veronica and JD's tussle toward the end if songs got implemented there

AND OF COURSE The moment of Eclipse's death is really what makes me think this would be adapted into a musical in universe

Because it does kind of fit the bill for being tragic

You feel bad enough for what could have been

But also remember "Nah that bitch deserves it"

But also.. it's sad

PERFECT FOR MUSICAL ENDING

ish

After proposal, there is possibility to do a QUICK little glance into the future at the end, not unlike Dear Evan Hansen's ending, but maybe not

Ok now Applause section!!

Freddie and Gregory would bow together

I forgot to mention earlier, but the character that is revealed to be a spy for Eclipse at the police station I'd imagine would have hints on their clothing (like burgundy) that would foreshadow their side

Eclipse would bow by himself, flaunty as ever, yet you can still kind of tell the actor is kind of a sweetheart

Sun and Moon would enter, bow together and then welcome Y/n

Who would get to bow on their own, then with Sun and Moon

Then the rest of the cast is welcomed

How the arrangement would go from left to right I was thinking

Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds, Freddy, Gregory, Sun, Y/N, Moon, Eclipse, Michael, Other Aftons and Spy, rest of Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds

AAAAAaaand thats what I've got.

@naffeclipse did you catch all of that?

and @sunnys-aesthetic for their detective au! :3

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kekaki-cupcakes · 3 months

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Heeey

Hope u're doing well

Please can I request a connor stoll x reader one shot where the mom (the reader) is going out with friends after all the pregnancy period, and it is the first time Connor is taking care of the baby all by himself for the evening

Have a good day

Can't believe that this was the request that brought me out of my writing slump lol. I have so many requests that I'm trying to write for right now and I figured people would rather have a short blurb than nothing at all, so this is only like 0.8k words. Sorry babes, hope you enjoy. Xx

pizza night--- Connor Stoll x reader [parent fic]

»»————-　★　————-««

-First of all Connor would be literally the best dad ever.

-I mean, like, obviously your baby would grow up knowing far too many swear words and probably ties people's shoes together when they're not looking, but no ones actually surprised.

-You would be able to take the cutest photos of your baby asleep on his chest in front of the tv or dancing in the kitchen while dinner cooked [you know when little kids stand on your feet and you hold their hands to dance? He would do that].

-He’d also for the first time not steal from a lolly shop when he takes the baby and lets them pick out the lollies from the pick and mix tubs. He’d hold the baby up like Simba at the start of The Lion King. You know the scene.

-But that’s after the baby stops crying every night and can wear shoes that totally have little wings drawn on them.

-When you’re laying on the couch eating ice cream with sprinkles and Connor is cleaning up baby vomit or something and your friends start spamming the group chat to get your attention, you’d just ignore it to begin with.

-Who wants to go out when there’s a screaming two week old baby at home and you’ve got cramps absolutely everywhere? To go and talk about babies when you literally never want to explain why you chose the name you did and why the baby is wearing a Lightning McQueen onesie [Cecil].

-But Connor hears the pings of your phone and [after turning it off so as to not wake the baby] he decides that you're going to have a great night out with your friends who would have to promise no baby talk or strenuous exercise.

-So you’re all dressed up in comfortable clothing and flat shoes [no post pregnant person is walking around in stilettos, and you might be amazing, but you’re not that amazing], ready to go out for a night of gossip and drinks, or pizza and relaxing, depending on your mood, when you realize that this would be the first time Connor is on baby duty without you pottering around the house somewhere or napping.

-He promises that everything will be fine and if the baby doesn’t go to bed he’ll just call Clovis over.

-He then had to promise that he will not in fact put a spell on the newborn and will be very responsible and baby you don’t have to worry he’s been watching youtube tutorials on this stuff for eight months and seven days.

-On a completely unrelated note, you found out you were pregnant about eight months and seven days ago.

-So you’re pushed out the door into your friend's car and Connor realizes he should probably take advantage of the fact the baby is sleeping in the other room to prepare for what would hopefully be an uneventful night.

-He mixes together the milf formula and leaves it in the fridge before ordering pizza. Take out or baked goods that his siblings dropped off while they zoomed around the city going to and from whatever it was they were doing had become the go to for meals since baby duty became the main concern and most food burnt on the stove in minutes.

-Connor always orders meatlovers, but picks the sausage bits off and puts mushrooms on top.

-It’s the best.

-Unfortunately babies can’t eat the greatest pizza ever, so after doing the washing and tidying up the utter chaos of your three bedroom house [one for you and Connor, one for your kid, and the spare room for Travis. Connor had one at Travis’s apartment too], ringing the hospital to book in that check up appointment for a few days away, paying the pizza delivery girl, and sitting down for approximately four minutes until the baby began crying, he took the milk out of the fridge and went to the living room.

-Connor held the baby with one arm, wiping drool off the tiny onesie, and turned on the TV. Luckily for him, your baby loved watching the colors move and make noise.

-You were adamant about not raising an Ipad KidTM, but he figured Netflix was an exception.

-He looked down for the baby's reaction when pausing on each movie.

-A bored gurgle at Lightning McQueen [Cecil would riot], a blank stare at Taylor Swift’s new movie, and then a screaming fit when he played the trailer for The Hunger Games [probably not a good idea to begin with] and he moved onto better half of his favorite movies.

-He pressed play on an all time classic.

-Connor’s child needed to have impeccable taste, or he just might ignore them until they tried to take over the world.

-Too soon?

“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once in a while, you just might miss it.”

»»————-　★　————-««

#sorry that last part was kinda #too soon?#I just had to add it though #the Hermes Cabin are literally my children though I would write anything for htem #pjo fandom #pjo #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #Connor Stoll x reader #connor stoll x you #hermes cabin #travis stoll #cecil markowitz #Luke castellan #the Stoll brothers #Connor Stoll x y/n

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weirdwyvern · 2 months

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Collection of observations so far on Pokémon Legends: Z-A

It'd be reasonable to assume that PLZA is going to be based around the same time period as Haussmann's renovation of Paris, a major public works initiative focused on city modernization (by the day's standards). This included taking down a lot of medieval neighborhoods and replacing them with avenues, squares, and parks, as well as installing extensive water-based features such as sewers, aqueducts, and (of course) fountains. Haussmann was eventually dismissed bc he was being way too extravagant with spending (along with other political stuff etc etc), but the modern-day layout of central Paris still directly echoes his designs.

The renovation period lasted from 1853-1870, which would put PLZA in roughly the same timeframe as PLA; the Meiji Restoration (also called the Meiji Renovation, ironically) began in 1868.

However, the aesthetics they've chosen for the announcement trailer are giving me pause. Though the drafting/sketching portion certainly has an old-timey feel to it, the use of a holographic, wireframe style to show the city feels markedly futuristic. In addition, one of the humans we see (the woman sitting at a table next to a Klefki) appears to be using a smartphone. Whether or not we're gonna have another Arc Phone situation has yet to be seen.

This could just be a way of expressing "here's what Lumiose is PLANNED to look like far in the future, and this game is going to be focused on building towards that future." As there was a "Not actual gameplay footage" disclaimer at the beginning there, we can assume that nothing shown in the trailer is necessarily going to appear in-game – tho I'd imagine at least some of the models are going to be utilized (two birds, one stone).

With how Pokémon has played around with ancient/futuristic dichotomies (Unova, Paldea) and time travel (Alola, Hisui, and…many others tbh) in the past, though, it'd be interesting if PLZA wound up being a futuristic isekai to complement the distant-past adventure of PLA.

All that said, if PLZA is set in the past: We are all but certainly going to see young (or at least younger) AZ.

Very interested in this logo! Presumably it's comparable to that of the Galaxy Team, though unlike that one, it doesn't share much resemblance to the logo of its region's future evil team (Team Flare). The most similar organization logo we've seen thus far would be that of the Aether Foundation.

The only theory I have at present is that it could potentially be related to Diancie, which was first introduced in Kalos. The logo could be a stylized version of the incomplete ring & glittering gem around its neck.

Adjacent to that: I get the feeling that the Anistar City Sundial is going to have some level of importance to the plot. In XY, the Sundial allows the player to upgrade their Mega Ring + locate more Mega Stones throughout the region. As the Mega Evolution symbol was prominently displayed at the end of the presentation, we may get to learn some more about it and its origins – especially that bit about how it supposedly descended from space.

Other assorted notes:

We may get to see Camphrier Town – or, at least, Shabboneau Castle – during its heyday!

The A in PLZA's logo shares a similar construction to the marking on Xerneas' chest. It also has a plantlike pattern on it, which would connect to Xerneas' ability to induce life/growth…or it could be interpreted as a veinlike pattern, which would connect to Yveltal's design. It could also be completely unrelated to the Aura Trio lmao

I want to see Emmet so bad. Put both of those muppets in situations. Also I want double battles back please I'm begging and pleading stop making me fight 3+ enemies with only one Pokémon on my side–

#pokemon #pokemon legends za #plza #diancie #kayla burbling

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reimeichan · 1 month

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I'm really starting to enjoy the stage of DID recovery I'm at. It's got a funkiness to it that I don't see others talk about all that much, where it's like... kinda hard to pinpoint what state my system is in at any point in time, but not distressingly so? And also not in a dissociative way like before. It's like, I'm able to feel all these bits of me flowing in and out of my consciousness and sense of identity and I lack any sort of solid definition of what this version of me wants to be or what my destination is. I'm just kinda going with the flow now instead of trying to steer us in any particular direction.

It's definitely a lot less stressful than it used to be and it feels like my brain has calmed down pretty significantly. It's less noisy in my head and I'm now realizing some of that was because there were parts of me who felt like they couldn't be heard before now don't feel the need to scream and bang on the walls to be noticed. And because we're less dissociated from each other, we can more immediately share thoughts and feelings instead of having to manually pass those things around to each other.

I've still got that ADHD buzz, but I'm now realizing the way I described it as being "50 trains of thoughts all at once" or "having 50 tabs open and all of them are playing different audio" no longer feels like it properly describes my experiences anymore. It's more like... I have a game running and that's the main thing I'm focusing on, but I also have a youtube video guide for something I'm trying to do in the game, while I'm also got notepad open to take notes, and another window open to crosscheck information. And maybe a couple random tabs open that are completely unrelated. Still got a lot of tabs and windows up, but they're more aligned to the same or similar purpose.

I do still have the different parts and alters and we still have new (as in unknown or undocumented) parts showing up pretty much daily, but they tend to get caught up to speed fairly quickly and even the ones who are very split off from the rest of the system don't feel as scary to handle (and feel less scared themselves) since we have such a strong support network and various other tools and resources at our disposal. I still feel like we're generally different and separate parts, but we also blend and fuse and influence each other in ways that feel a lot more fluid. Instead of having to purposefully communicate things with each other every time it's now a lot more instant and the hard barriers between each of us feel more and more arbitrary as the days go on. Kinda like looking at a map? Where you see the borders on the map, but at the end of the day you remove all of that and the landscape tells a different story and shows how all those "countries" are actually connected and one giant landmass. And those borders are still important to understand how they're there and why they exist, but it's not the whole story and can actually distract you from the bigger picture.

I dunno, I know I'm definitely in a transitional period of my healing and that's why things feel so vague and nebulous but I'm not complaining. If anything I'm pretty excited for what's to come.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #by gray

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bonesandthebees · 2 months

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i've been scrolling through this page on and off because truthfully i wanted to see how you were doing. i know i dont know you but you're one of my favorite authors, as a general sense- i would love your writing even if it wasn't fic, that's how much i enjoy it. i knew your stories often had cwilbur as, at least, a major character if not the main one. i'm glad that you seem to be alright, and i'm glad that you won't be deleting any of your work, because i'm truly grateful that you gave me and everyone else the chance to read it and i'd love to read it all again sometime when the wound is a little more healed from this situation.

i'm very disgusted by wilbur of course, like everyone else is. today i went through all almost 70 of these my playlists and removed every trace of his music, solo stuff and lovejoy. i can't listen without feeling sick, really, can't separate it. i know now that he's the kind of person i was using his music as an escape from. it was so refreshing though to see the incredible response from ccs and the community in support of shelby. i've never been an avid watcher of her content, but i've always watched ccs in the same friend group as her and they've always seemed so lovely. it's horrible what she went through, but they are also an incredibly strong and brave person who seems to have really inspired many people including other abuse survivors with her courage. i hope this leads to an unending support for her and her content - she's been around for a long time and i firmly believe that what we as an audience can mainly do to support her is to watch her videos, leave kind comments and follow her channel if we so chose. she may not read every comment, or see every twitter reply, but they'll know we're with them.

on an unrelated note, i, too, got my period yesterday despite only checking your page today. i find it very funny just how many of us have experienced this and i feel as if i should be blaming you 😭

the amount of people I've had tell me that they would read my writing regardless of the fandom or even if it wasn't fic makes me so incredibly happy you guys have no idea

I'm hoping that if my fics ever gave anyone comfort, they'll be able to still get that same comfort after some time has passed and people have had a chance to let everything settle. I've always written about the character, not the guy himself. I completely understand those who can't make that separation, but I hope for those that do my past fics continue to remain a source of enjoyment for them.

shelby has been in the community for such a long time and it's been truly amazing to see all the support for her. they've always been such a lovely and positive person, and if one good thing comes out of how horrible this situation is, I hope this leads to a lot of people discovering a new favorite cc in her.

I am so sorry for the period curse a wizard has apparently put on my blog

#ask #wilbur situation #overgrown-dreamland

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alastairstom · 1 year

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Matthew, Alastair, and the Self vs the Other

I cannot for the life of me understand how people justify hating either Matthew or Alastair on behalf of the other. Like. Both of these characters are so beloved to me. They're easily two of my favourite fictional characters, and I'm not just talking about in TSC. I adore them, and I adore their complexities. As such, I feel that I am the appropriate person to write this essay.

(You can also expect another essay in the coming week that juxtaposes Matthew and Alastair's storylines as literary foils. The aim of this essay is not to understand their written characters, but to understand their dynamic as human beings).

Listen.

Shadowhunter Academy

At the Academy, Alastair behaved in a pretty homophobic way to Matthew, who was visibly not straight (and proud of it). It's worth noting that Alastair began the conflict here, with these statements. The stuff about Wilde being indecent was their first encounter, and he 100% perpetuated it again later with "what a fine wife you'll make for someone one of these days." The impact of this hurts Matthew regardless of the fact that Alastair was also gay. Matthew didn't know this at the time, and even if he had, it would have been unfair for Alastair to turn his own internalized homophobia on Matthew.

However, Alastair's statements are also understandable. Being gay in the late 1800s wasn't a walk in the park, and Alastair was likely having it consistently reinforced as shameful by Charles at this point. He was 15. He also was very clearly following the Wilde trials, which would have been terrifying for him.

Matthew is also a defensive person, and James was being consistently bullied by Alastair. I understand him coming to the defense of his friend. I get that. But he did, in the end, come at Alastair WAY too hard when he said that his father didn't love him. It's worth noting that Matthew didn't know the situation between Alastair and Elias, and he just groped around for fodder and accidentally hit something that hurt. But, like the Wilde stuff, that doesn't matter. The impact on Alastair was real and painful.

Onto the rumor stuff, the things that Alastair said about Gideon and Charlotte were inexcusable. Place this in a historical context. Charlotte is a woman, and one who's constantly questioned in her position of power. This rumor could have legitimately ruined her and the entire Fairchild family. I do not believe Alastair thought this through, but once again, the impact was there. This is a theme throughout their relationship.

Alastair, who is obviously extremely traumatized, was completely in the wrong for saying those things. 0 argument.

Matthew, who is obviously very mentally ill, was VERY MUCH in the wrong to blow up Alastair's things. 0 argument.

There's also an argument to be made that Alastair had no choice but to be a bully. I believe this. I fully understand him. He DID have no choice, and he deserves sympathy and compassion and forgiveness. I believe this unequivocally. No child- no human- deserves to be subject to the abuse that Alastair was at home and at school, and no 13-15 year old would have made a different choice.

But, at the same time, Alastair did not have to hit Matthew where it hurt like that. He could have stuck to the way he bullied Thomas, with periodic cutting barbs. That's also true.

Matthew's Great Sin

Fast forward a couple of years.

The only person to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage is Mother Hawthorne, an adult who used Matthew as a tool for attempted assassination. Full stop. The ONLY person. That's my preface.

Alastair is in no way to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage. Like, at all. I'm not even sure that he, to this day, knows what happened. This is indisputable. Alastair is, I would argue, unrelated to the reality of the situation.

Everyone reasonable can see this. Matthew himself is reasonable. Matthew himself knows this and has thought as much:

It was not the faerie woman’s fault, or Alastair’s, or the fault of any other soul. He was the one who had chosen to distrust his mother. He had fed his mother poison with his own hands. He was not a fool. He was a villain.

Of course, I disagree with Matthew's thoughts on Mother Hawthorne. I also disagree with his thoughts on his own culpability, but I'm getting there. My current point is that Matthew knows, immediately, that Alastair is not to blame.

However, the person that he chooses to blame is himself.

Matthew, prior to this event, already had incredibly low self-worth. Two clear examples:

“You may be a waste of space in a waistcoat,” he told Matthew Fairchild, “but at least your waistcoat is fantastic.”

He was sure that if he had not asked James to be parabatai, James would never have thought of asking him.

As a result of this unbearable pain, Alastair becomes something of a scapegoat for Matthew. He hates himself and treats himself poorly; he shoves off some of that self-hate onto Alastair, his literary foil (again, wait for that essay). The alternative is unbearable. In Matthew's eyes, he is a villain, and he needs to make a new villain.

Matthew already has understandable problems with Alastair. Alastair is the one that triggered Matthew's insecurities. Despite having nothing to do with the miscarriage, he makes for a fine scapegoat.

And, over time, Alastair is no longer Alastair to Matthew. Alastair is simply a concept that he has created, flanderized, and made into some untouchable and inhuman evil spectre.

Alastair's Return to London

By the time that Alastair returns to London, Matthew's hate for both himself and for Alastair are solidified. Carved in stone. Matthew is not equipped to face Alastair.

Alastair does not fully understand why Matthew hates him. This is incredibly understandable. There's no other way this could have gone, because Alastair is a person, and he is a person that knows nothing of the conceptual caricature that Matthew has cast him as.

So he apologizes, and he apologizes, and he apologizes. He does everything right, and I would argue that Alastair's in the clear for his past actions by the end of ChoG. (Not to the Thieves, but to a reasonable reader/outsider).

Alastair is, at this point, just some man that the main cast has beef with. He's a good guy. He's done his due diligence and apologized. They should, in both Alastair's mind and many readers', be good now.

Unfortunately, Matthew is not a reasonable reader or outsider. Matthew is a real person who was directly impacted by Alastair's actions at the Academy, which almost certainly led to some of his self-worth problems. He also incorrectly has essentially gaslit himself into thinking that his mother's poisoning is another way that Alastair has victimized him.

At this point, I will say that I personally believe Matthew to be bipolar. If he is not bipolar, he may have borderline personality disorder. This is unconfirmed, but there is a lot of evidence in the text. I could write an essay on this as well as someone who also is bipolar. What he does with Alastair- and later with Cordelia- is something called splitting. A person is either an evil and worthless villain or they are a goddess incarnate (respectively). There is no gray area.

In any case,

To Matthew, Alastair's constant apologies and lack of awareness about the impact he had appear dismissive.

Thomas frowned. “Matthew,” he said, his usually gentle voice remonstrative, “that was the past. It is time for us to be adults and forget childish slights.” “Thomas, you are kind,” said Matthew. “Too kind, and you wish to forget. But I am not kind, and I cannot help but remember.”

Thomas is too forgiving; Alastair has not, in Matthew's mind, sufficiently apologized for the imagined but simultaneously legitimate transgression. He must do so. Alastair must hurt as Matthew has, and he does not consider that he is engaging with an actual human being who only has one friend that he is about to destroy his relationship with.

Note that this is once again consistent with Matthew's characterization as protective of his friends. In his mind, he is saving Thomas from the abusive concept of Alastair. His being incorrect and that image not being an accurate representation of the man himself do not matter to Matthew's motivations.

At this point, though, Alastair is also unfortunately extremely triggered by Matthew's drinking. This is clear in ChoG when Alastair says,

Alastair’s expression went flat. “You think I would be relieved to hear she’s with Matthew? You think I don’t know a drunk when I see one? Believe me, I do. If he puts Cordelia in harm’s way—”

Not great, especially considering that Alastair has spent his entire life trying to protect Cordelia from a drunk:

Because he’s always bloody drunk, Cordelia. The only one of us who didn’t know that is you. [...] I wanted you to have a childhood, a thing I never had. I wanted you to be able to love and respect your father as I never could. [...] Who learned at ten years old to refill the brandy bottles with water each morning so no one would notice the levels had sunk?"

Alastair is correct. This is more than understandable. Matthew is, in that moment, taking Cordelia to a scandalous nightclub; he will, in a few months' time, impulsively run away with Cordelia to another country.

This conflict persists in much the same way throughout Chain of Iron, with Alastair getting more and more irritated that his apologies are going unheard and Matthew getting pissier and pissier that Alastair cannot conceptualize Matthew's rage.

I'll talk more about this in my Literary Foils essay, but:

It is only through self-acceptance that Matthew learns to forgive Alastair and, once again, view him as Alastair the Man rather than Alastair the Concept.

It is only through self-acceptance that Alastair is able to see Matthew as Matthew the Man rather than Matthew the Drunk that reminds him of Elias.

In the end, their budding friendship is only possible because they have done the work to better themselves.

#matthew fairchild #alastair carstairs #tsc deep dives #chot #chain of thorns #chog #chain of gold #choi #chain of iron #tlh #the last hours #my meta

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coexistentialism · 4 months

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When I first saw this post when it was first made, I heavily related, but I think I struggled to grasp and understand the full extent of what modular DID meant and what it was explaining, and I think I didn't fully grasp how much this perfectly explains... Almost everything about my experiences???

I want to ramble about my own experiences with what I presume to be is similar to, if not just Is, modular DID, being described here. Partially because I want to, but specifically because I am very curious to know if anybody else relates to what I'm going to describe.

I grew up feeling like I just had "identity hyperfixations" where I would, say, get fixated/attached to something (a concept, an idea, a TV show, etc.) and it would "turn into" my "identity" of some sorts - I would feel like I was confident about, for example, a name change, or incorporating something into my identity, etc., only for it to change, and I greatly hated this about myself, and in an attempt to remain Consistent, I often tried to force myself into a singular box/collective box, like creating an "overall" "identity" and attempting to Stick to it, as some kind of way to force ourselves into some kind of consistency.

Our system structure is like this now even today - we have a "mascot identity", which is like our "collective identity", I coined this term for myself. It is an identity that "bleeds" into most other alters, most alters that are active in daily life during any period of time will feel this identity in some ways - some alters will feel it much stronger, some alters will feel it in different ways, some may only relate to the name. So, alters that are active in my life right now, most of us are connected to the name Ethan in some way - some may feel connected to it in a different way than others. Some may strongly feel connected to it, some may not feel connected at all, but still share the same cat identity we have. So on and so forth. The "mascot identity" can, and does, change, and usually changes because of life changes, like moving, going to high school, entering new stages of life. This experience is also described in Kluft's paper, as well as other papers (including his polyfrag paper about the phenomenology of complex [DID]), but this reblog isn't focusing on that rn NFJDSANFKJ

I describe my alters like "reshuffles" - we are the same set of traits shuffled around sometimes and those traits are like "blueprints" that go on to create more alters with those same/similar traits shuffled around - hence "reshuffles." This is where I get a ton of alters who are very similar to each other; I constantly struggled with feeling like I couldn't tell if I was a different alter that I hadn't listed/become aware of yet, or if it was just an alter I had already written down/took note of and I was that alter thinking I was different.

So for example: having two alters, one named Leo and one named Lea, and you can't tell if Leo and Lea are just the same one alter who thinks that they are different alters, or if they are truly just different alters - most of the time, it's because those two alters are very similar to each other in a way that makes me feel like they must just be the same alter.

So eventually you can have alters Leo and Lea, as well as Leon, who is a combination of traits taken from Leo and Lea; and then eventually you can get an alter that is completely unrelated to those three, and that alter is named Anna, and Anna's traits can be the blueprints that cause Annie to form. And with THOSE alters, you can eventually start getting more and more combinations and reshuffles, like Leanna who might be a mix of traits between Anna and Lea, or Leonna who is a combination of traits between Anna and Leo, and then more and more and more and it gets even more complicated. You get the point.

I know that this is the normal way DID/OSDD works - alters are, at the end of the day, your own traits and feelings and whatnot shuffled around to form different alters, but you get the idea.

Throughout my time questioning DID, denial felt suffocating, it felt like agony, I could barely go a single day without spiraling deep in denial.

I felt like it made no sense that I supposedly had DID because I couldn't track down a single alter with a consistent personality who fronted often enough to at least generally know who they were as an alter, as an individual, and know they were fronting, etc. at least often enough to be able to know they were an alter. It just felt like I was only ever adding new "alters" instead of adding any actual helpful information to "alters" I had already listed.

I would try to just go "okay, I'm assuming I'm (alter), I'm just assuming I'm (alter) and not a different alter", but it never seemed right. But I was desperate for some kind of Proof of alters, and it felt like I would only get proof if I had at least One frequent fronter, an alter who was distinct enough and with a distinct personality who fronted often enough and had a consistent enough personality who, when they fronted, KNEW they were fronting, at least sometimes, and I didn't (and don't) have that, but it felt like the only way that would prove that my alters were actually. Alters. Of course that was an inaccurate understanding of DID and an inaccurate assumption to make, but I didn't know how else I would be able to prove that my alters were actually alters if I wasn't going to be yeeted into like a different dimension when a different alter was fronting and I knew that I never ever felt like my alters were ""not me""/didn't feel like they were distinctly different people/didn't feel like they were "someone else", etc., I had no idea how else I was supposed to know for sure that my alters were alters. (I still don't. I just know that I'm diagnosed with DID and everyone keeps telling me these are alters, so I guess I gotta assume and hope it's true).

It was (and still feels like it is) impossible to figure out alters, I constantly felt like I was adding new alters instead of adding new information to pre-existing alters. I couldn't add new information to alters i already know about, because I know know who is who, never know who is fronting, I only know that "I am displaying (these traits/these behaviors/these feelings/these opinions/etc.)" and not "I am (this alter)." And there were no alters that were fronting consistently enough AND knew who they were at least decently enough to be able to add any information to alters I already know about.

So it was a constant process of "well I already have an alter listed down with literally these exact similar traits, and I have no other ways of determining who and what my alters are, so how do I know if this alter is different from the others or if this alter is just an alter I already know about and they're just assuming they're different" and still this is how my experience is. I never know when an alter is fronting again.

I don't know if this is the experience that is similar to what's described in modular DID, but I personally feel that modular DID resonates with me very strongly and feels like it explains why I couldn't pin down any alters. If I'm understanding it right, anyways. I could be completely wrong and this post could be a load of complete bullshit and complete misunderstandings (this post I have created, not the post I linked NFNDASJFK)

I rather this post not be reblogged (hence why reblogs are off), though I'm just genuinely wondering if other people have had a similar experience where it was/is impossible to pin down one specific alter because everything feels like a continuous cycle of "different alter with traits taken from (other alters)" and nothing ever feels and seems consistent (idm if people comment and/or send asks, etc.)

#my posts

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hetafluidtexan · 1 year

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Some of my ideas Switzerland & Liechtenstein's Relationship throughout time

(I will note first: These are just MY thoughts and reasoning, so if you don't agree with it that's fine, just please be civil about it, anyhow with that passed)

Overall, I tend to imagine Liechtenstein and Switzerland's happening in sort of four "phases" since i don't have a better word for it:

1) Strangers Phase

2) Rescue & Recovery Phase

3) Hero Worship Phase

4) Symbiotic Phase

Phase One - Strangers

Now tbh this isn't really a phase in the relationship, but I'm still going to include it to be complete and give some context to stuff

Firstly, I do not imagine them being siblings by blood/relation in any way. They have separate histories and backgrounds and outside of any AUs that state to the contrary you can assume that they are unrelated. They are both young adults that had nothing to do with each other until right after World War I when fate pushed them together, and on that note

Phase Two - Rescue & Recovery

So right after World War I Liechtenstein is kinda fucked as her economy is spiralling into a possible collapse due to embargos for having close relations with Austria. This leaves her ill, weak, and ready to go the way of the dinosaur as all her attempts to reverse the disaster don't do much.

Then you know what happens, Switzerland finds her on the street and decides letting this woman just die is kinda cringe and so takes her in. Then he helps her by letting her rest, recover, and heal up.

From this, and entering more headcanon territory, I actually tend to imagine she was rather surprised and shocked.

This is because she had a neglected childhood of sorts, with her own rulers living in Austria far more than in her lands, and while Austria himself did try to be there, he often was too busy with other matters to interact with her.

On top of this, she would have lived through eras of Might Makes Right & Royale Politik, watching as small states just as herself were torn apart and annexed by the nations around her; indeed she only even survived to 1914 by carefully playing the major powers against each other, positioning herself inbetween them, and using Royale Politik to make herself too costly to take due to allies.

All of this resulting in a somewhat cold and cynical view of the world, with an expectation nations only survived through military might or making themselves too costly to attack; while trust and caring for others was at best a form of bargaining or bribery, and at worst, a way to get behind someone to stab them in the back.

Meaning that when Switzerland did decide to help her unconditionally despite how easy it would have been to just conquer her, she was awed. An act of honest kindness in a world she expected to have made that kind of thing impossible had a large effect on her; enough to lead to

Phase Three - Hero Worship

This period in their relationship probably doesn't have a definitive "start" date but I do tend to imagine it as why her early relationship with Switzerland seemed to be so "Blindly follow whatever he says" and she's kind of learning how to do a healthy relationship.

She's kind of star struck and enamoured with Switzerland right after the fact, enough so she doesn't really consider his personal faults or issues with his ideas. He saved her and treated her with kindness when he had no ulterior reason to, so whatever he says or does must be equally good; even if she doesn't really get it personally.

It's here also we see Liech cutting her braids off and hair short to closer mimic Switz's own hair style. And later, putting away her old dress in favor of the military uniforms Switz wear (and accidentally the incident that gets Liech her ribbon lol). It's why she can come off as kind of one note here, since she really is just copying and following him blindly.

However, as time goes on and they start to get genuinely closer and learn more about one another, the glow around Switz fades. She still cares about him, but her idolization of him wanes, leading to

Phase Four - Symbiotic

The fourth and current "phase", a healthier and more symbiotic relationship between them. Liech isn't idolizing Switz anymore, but they still care deeply for each other and it's here you see that real de facto sibling relationship.

Liech will call out Switz on shit without hesitation like when she immediately picked up on the weird situation with him and Austria, and isn't going to blindly follow or copy him. She also is back to being a lot more independent and probably lives a lot on her own again, though still keeping close contact with Switz and visiting often between her own work and visiting others.

With the metaphorical symbiosis, what I mean is that both of them help each other in different but equally vital ways.

How Switz helps Liech is obvious, helping her physically in both a protection and support sense. She's not incapable or incompetent by any means, but she's a smaller young woman, and sometimes to solve a problem you just want some big muscles. Be that to fight off potential attackers or just help with carrying a lot of heavy equipment like looms, farm tools, and desks.

With Liech, it's not as obvious but equally important: she helps him on an emotional and mental level. She can act as someone he can vent to and be vulnerable around, and draws him out of his shell and a habit of simply bottling up his emotions and thoughts to let them stew. Now he is able to actually communicate those feelings, and has someone he can trust help him process and handle them. Along with that, her presence means he just isn't so alone. He still is a rather introverted person of course, but there is a fine difference between being alone and being lonely; and Liech helps him not be the latter as often or severely.

#hetalia liechtenstein #hetalia switzerland #aph liechtenstein #aph switzerland #hws liechtenstein #hws switzerland #hetalia hcs #hetalia headcanons #LT Hetalia headcanons #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #world stars hetalia #hetalia relationships

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fire-emblem-drabbles · 2 years

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With Words that Play Funny (In my Heart)

Pairing: Yandere! Risotto x reader

Prompt: “No, sorry, you laughed. I … I've never seen it before. It’s — pretty.”

Description: You wake up with some of the worst cramps you can ever remember having in your adult life. You aren't in the mood to deal with them, or Risotto for that matter. However, your change your mind every so slightly when you realize something... What made Risotto go out of his way for you like that?

Rating: sfw

Content Warning: afab reader, mentions of blood and periods and the products people use for those, listen we been knew all along this was a vent piece for sydney, ask to tag but this particular chapter is pretty cute and sweet

Word Count: 3561

Notes: Taken from this prompt list! It’s been so long I’ve had this sitting in my drafts I legit don’t know what prompt list I got this from.

I wanted something a little softer for them this time around... As always, I don't know where I'm going with this and when I will update but I am constantly thinking about these two. Shaking them around like an unfortunate goldfish in a bag.

Also what if you were working on a different, completely unrelated yandere Risotto piece and you decided the best way to exercise your brain and work past whats stopping you in the first its not sfw bits is to start a completely new wip. like what would you do. It’s also been so long that I’ve had this wip the other Risotto fic got posted like. 2 months ago at least. That’s how it’s going guys!

Part: One | Two | Three | Four | Five

You didn’t really remember when you fell asleep last night. Frankly, at this moment it was hard to remember anything that had happened last night—you were face with some of the worse cramps you had gotten in your adult life.

“No, I don’t want this…” You groan as you slowly sit up, holding your stomach. You look around, vaguely remembering Risotto had returned last night. But you don’t see any sign of him, at least not in this room.

A bleary look at the digital clock shows it reads 11:43 am. You can’t help but rub your eyes and let out another noise of discomfort. “...Hey Glory,” You clear your throat a little after speaking. Your ever dutiful stand appears before the bed, looking down at your disheveled form. “I don’t suppose there’s anything you can do about cramps, is there?” You look to her as a yawn passes your lips.

“Unfortunately, there isn’t much I can do to dull the pain.” Like that, she dashes your hopes. “Your pain is caused by a necessary bodily function, and it would do you more harm if I stopped this process.”

“As much as that makes since, that sucks.” You let out a sigh, flopping back on the bed. As you do so, you hear the door to the room creep open.

“...You’re awake.” Risotto doesn’t seemed surprised that you’re talking to your stand.

“I don’t want to deal with you right now.” You huff and turn away from Risotto. As you do so, however, you groan again. “...Are you feeling okay though?” You can’t help but frown as you speak the words. You tell yourself you’re only worried because you want to know the lasting effects of Glories healing.

“You should only be feeling minor aches and pains in the area that we healed.” Glory supplies.

“I’m doing okay. Better than usual, even.” You huff at his words, and curl into yourself more in an attempt to relieve your cramps. Soon enough you would have to get up and do something about it, though. “You… don’t look well.” You can hear something akin to worry in his voice. The bed dips on the opposite side and you feel him reach over.

“Don’t touch me.” You say first. His hand stops by your head-- he was likely going to check your temperature. “I’m not sick. I just…” You look over your shoulder at him. Risotto is frowning softly, white hair framing red eyes that only show worry. “I just… started my period is all. My stand can’t do anything to help the pain…” You mutter your words until your quiet once more.

“I see…” Risotto backs up from you, but you can still feel his weight on the bed. “Can I help in any way?” You can feel the weight of his gaze on you. With another heavy heaved breath, you sit up and face him.

“You could leave me alone.” You don’t miss the way his face falls slightly. You feel an odd combination of smug and sad, but don’t dwell on it too hard. “…Actually. You don’t have like, tampons, do you?” You frown and find you can’t really meet his gaze. You weren’t really embarrassed about having your period, more so that it was awkward that you had to talk to Risotto about getting the stuff you needed.

“…I suppose I did forget some things.” You glance the corner of his lips rising in mirth.

“Well. I need to shower so like… can you go and get me some? And maybe like, some pads and midol too?” You barely meet his gaze. You feel a little humiliated, having to ask the man who kidnapped you for such basic necessities but you also had hope that Risotto would be civil about this. He had to be, right?

“As much as I would like to tease you… I’ll consider it payback for you healing me last night.” You can’t help but sigh in relief.

“Right. Thank you…” You bite your lip awkwardly. Should you even be thanking him for something you needed? “I’m uh… yeah.” You stood quickly from the bed, moving over to the dresser. You quickly pull out some clothing that was comfortable and made way to the bathroom.

You give Risotto one last look as you step into the bathroom. Once again, his face is unreadable. You can’t help but sigh as you close the door and lean against it. You wanted Risotto to trust you, of course, so you could find a way out… but at the same time it was so hard to put your guard down. It was hard to act any semblance of normal around him. Whether it was because of the situation you found yourself in, your own awkwardness, or simply how Risotto choose to act you knew not but you wished you didn’t to play these stupid social games.

You go to a small cabinet in the bathroom where Risotto keeps the towels. You don’t really feel like showering but that was the depression speaking, you supposed. You felt gross and perhaps the warm water would help with your thoughts and cramps.

Opening the cabinet, you can’t help but notice that above the shelf where the towels were… there were tampons. Unopened and sitting innocently with other toiletries. It made you pause a moment.

“Did he… leave because I asked him to?” You peak outside the bathroom door, finding the bed room empty. Walking over to the bedroom door, you can confirm that the apartment is empty as well.

“He really… left because I asked him to.” You frown as you make way to the bathroom, closing the door once more as you slowly go about getting ready for your shower. You weren’t sure how to feel. It was odd thinking he listened not because it was something you needed but… he wanted to make you happy.

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” You groan again as another painful pang shoots through you, and start up the shower to let it warm up. You set about getting undressed and stepping into the, by now, familiar shower. Warm water washed away some of the pain, and any of the dirty feeling you felt but not the strange feelings going through you.

You weren’t even that mean to Risotto, all things considered. So why would you feel bad…?

It didn’t matter, your strange sense of guilt could be ignored. When he returned, this would be your first time alone with Risotto is a somewhat normal situation. No stands to test, no wounds to heal, nothing to keep the two of apart. How would this go?

All too soon, you have to leave the welcoming warmth of the water and towel off. You get dressed and… decide you could humor Risotto. It wouldn’t hurt to make him feel useful, would it? Certainly not. It could only do good things for you, after all.

As you step into the bedroom you can hear though the walls the sounds of bag being placed on the table. Had you taken that long in the shower…? Regardless, you step out into the living area slowly, pushing wet hair from your face to properly watch as Risotto places two bags on the table.

“You’re back…” Your words are quiet as you make careful steps towards him. It’s hard to find what to say, or what to do. You spy what you had asked for in one of the bags-- tampons and pads of a familiar brand, medicine to help with the cramps. In the other you saw something that couldn’t help but make you smile. It was an energy drink, the very same kind you had once tried to throw at Risotto. There were some candies and chocolates in there to.

“Um, thanks for getting me these things…” You take the bag with the toiletries in one hand. Risotto looks to you with a small smile. There’s a strange look in his eyes that you don’t really know how to decipher.

“A lot has happened since you’ve come here…” He looks down a moment, then back to you. “Since you’re not feeling well… I wanted to let you relax today. Even if you want to do it without me.” Your face softens as he slowly pulls the treats from the bag and places them on the table.

“That’s… really thoughtful of you, actually.” You can’t help but smile again watching as he pulls the energy drink out. “I didn’t think I would be allowed another one of those after I tried throwing one at you.” You can’t help but laugh as you say the words aloud. After all that had happened between the two of you, the idea of throwing one at him again just seemed hilarious. You think he might actually let him if it would keep you happy. Your giggle doesn’t stop immediately as you think about it some more.

It takes a moment for you to compose yourself and when you do, you find that Risotto is staring at you strangely. “Sorry I just--” You cut yourself off with another giggle fit. “Knowing what I know now…” You shake your head, ready to leave the room to compose yourself and take care of business but Risotto speaks, stopping you.

“No, sorry. I just--” he shakes his head. “You laughed. I’ve never seen it before. It’s,” He takes a moment, watching the smile fall from your lips to surprise. “It was pretty.” You’re silent as you let his words wash over you. Rather than let embarrassment flare on your cheeks, you instead escape to the bathroom quick as you can, heat flaring on your cheeks.

Alone, you say aloud. “He thinks it’s pretty…?” Not that you hated your laugh but… no one had ever called it pretty before. The idea that he liked it, that the sound of you laughing made him happy made you want to giggle more.

“What am I saying?” You frown and pull yourself together. This was Risotto you were talking about—Risotto, who had kidnapped you from your apartment, who had hurt you in order to see what your stand was. You were laughing at the pure absurdity of seeing an object you had tried to use to protect yourself in such a mundane setting!

With a final sigh, you clear your mind of it, instead taking the moment to actually use the things you needed for your period. All the while, still thinking of Risotto. He wanted you to relax today… but how could you do that with him around?

You take your few minutes in the bathroom, washing your hands and looking yourself in the mirror. You wonder if you were even the same person he had taken the week before? You looked… more tired, then the weeks before. Even freshly showered, you seemed… less yourself. The stress of being here was getting to you. As much as you would love to relax, would you even be able to?

You take careful footsteps out of the bathroom, and back to the bedroom door. Beyond there, Risotto waited. You suspected, neither of you really knew how to act normal around one another.

No one normal would resort to kidnapping someone they were interested in, after all.

Not like you knew how to actually act around someone you were interested in either, though. Had you met under different circumstances, you might be awkward around Risotto for all the right reasons. But here, against your will… You were struggling to find the right things to do or say.

Still, with a heavy sigh, you push open the door to the rest of the apartment. Risotto is not in the immediate area, instead he sits in the living room, the quiet noise of some old show playing. He turns your way when he hears the click of the door closing. He doesn’t speak at first, instead watching as you walk to the snacks innocently sat on the table.

“I didn’t think you would want to come out here.” His words are loud against the quiet of the apartment. You can’t help but frown as you pick up a pack of sour gummy worms, holding them gingerly as you look to him.

“I actually…” You pick at the corner of the package, playing with it as you run over the words in your mind. “You already had the stuff I needed before you even left the house. Why did you leave when you knew that?” You look to Risotto who turned around on the couch in order to face you. His face remains unreadable.

“...You seemed upset, so I wanted to make you happy. Even if it means you don’t want to see me.” You frown at his words, sitting backwards in a chair to face him.

“But… you want me to fall in love with you, don’t you?” You question him. “How does… that achieve your goal?” You fiddle with the ends of your hair, meeting his gaze after a moment of letting your words sink in. “I don’t get it. I don’t really get you, actually.” You admit.

“You don’t have to understand.” He shakes his head. “I want you to be happy here. I know I took you against your will. I know you still hold that against me.” You look away as he says that. “I can’t let you go, but there’s little ways I can make it better.” You’re silent as you think over his words.

“...Why did you have to do it this way?” The hurt in your voice is undeniable. “Couldn’t you have gone about this normally?”

“Tesoro…” Risotto stands from his position, moving towards you. When he stands close, looking down at you, he speaks again. “I… don’t live a normal life. There was no way I could date you normally or…” He hangs his head low.

“You know what,” You sigh and shake your head. “It doesn’t matter now.” You look up at him. “I don’t… I don’t want to live sheltered like this. I don’t want to be afraid of you.” As you meet his gaze, you aren’t sure what your looking for. “If… I try to give you a chance, will you, in turn, give me more freedom?” You can’t believe the words you’re saying.

“You… want to give me a chance?” Risotto seems surprised to hear you saying this.

“You’re intelligent enough to know I want out. I doubt I could fool you into thinking you’ve won my affections.” You admit. “And if that’s the case… nothing is going change unless one or both of us concedes.” The two of you watch one another a moment. Risotto, who was normally hard to read, had a pensive look on his face. You night dare to say he even looked… scared. Of what, you weren’t sure.

You, on the other hand, were nothing but nervous. Would he concede? How bad did he want you affection? “What… kind of freedoms do you want?” He asks slowly, red eyes watching your form with a subtle frown.

“I want…” You paused a moment, unsure. You didn’t expect to get this far (or that the man that kidnapped you would at all be reasonable, but he continued to surprise you). “Um… well, for starters, can I call my mom?” I ask him. “And… maybe leave the apartment?”

“That’s all you want?” He furrows his brows.

“Well… not really. But I’m trying to be…” You pause. “Little steps, you could call it.” Risotto nods.

“Well…” Risotto stands up from his position, moving to where you sat in the chair. Sitting with him standing before you, you can really appreciate how tall he is. “What do you suppose I would get in return for this?” He looks down at you, barest hint of a grin dancing on pretty lips.

“I think you can think of something of equal value…” I huff, rolling my eyes and looking away from him. “I already let you share a bed with me, after all.” At that, he lets out a little laugh. It makes you pause because… You, hadn’t really heard him laugh much either. It didn’t seem like he did often…

“Hm… I suppose you’re right.” He leans on the table beside you. “You can call your mother. With my supervision.” You look up at him, surprise dancing on your features. “As for leaving the apartment…” He frowns softly. “It makes me uncomfortable… but I’ll think on I it more.” You grinned at him now.

“Well… Maybe we could go out on some sort of… um…” Your words die out as you realize what you were about to say. “We could go out on a date…?” You look to the tiled floor as you speak, color dusting your cheeks. “It can be whatever you want. I promise I won’t um. Do anything suspicious.” You laugh a little awkwardly at that, glancing up to meet his gaze.

If the idea interested Risotto, he doesn't let it show on his face, gaze trained on you and your reaction instead. “...We’ll see.” His words were soft. “It’s a lot to consider. But I won’t deny you a call to you mother… family is important.” There’s something faraway in his voice, in the look in his eyes.

“Thank you.” You don’t hesitate to speak the words, only for the irony of it to hit you. Still, you don’t regret them; not when a small smile makes way to Risotto’s lips. “Did you keep my phone?” You ask suddenly.

“I did, actually.” You light up at that. “You’ll…” He sighs. “It’s been off since… the night I took you.” Risotto doesn’t mince his words. “I understand if you don’t want to see the messages from your friends. If you’ll allow me, I’ll navigate to your mothers number and call her so you don’t have to see all that.”

“Oh…” You frown softly. You hadn’t even considered that. All the texts, discord messages and snapchats people must have been trying to send you... It sends a wave of sadness through you that you can’t hide, the sight causing Risotto to frown. “That might um, be for the best.” You wanted your friends and roommates to know you were alright too… but perhaps it was for the better they thought you up and just left them… You’d rather not think about it, actually.

“If that’s what you think” Risotto nods. “Would you like to call her now?” He asks.

“Um…” You sigh, shaking her head. “Let’s do it tomorrow. I’ve had enough emotionally charged conversations for one day.” You admit, resting your head on your folded arms.

“Of course.” You don’t notice as Risotto reaches for you, only to flinch as you feel his hand rest on your head.

“S-sorry!” You cry as he quickly retracts. “I’m just um, you know…” You say lamely, but it doesn’t clear the hurt from his face.

“I understand. I just…” He pauses as you grab his same hand with both your own.

“Listen… you can touch me. You just have to ask.” You blush as you bring his palm to your cheek, and hold it there until you can tell he does so of his own volition. “I said I would give a little to get a little so… I’ll try and um…” You pause as you try to think of the word, the boldness of your action and the warmth of his touch turning your thoughts into pleasant mush.

“Indulge me?” Risotto supplies, moving to be down on his knees so he was face to face with you.

“Yeah. Indulge.” Your struck by the softness of his gaze, the gentleness of his touch as he cradles your cheek.

“_____…” Your name is the sweetest sound coming from his lips.

“Hmm?” You close your eyes a moment. Maybe you could indulge in this moment too. Ignore the blush rising to your cheeks, the frog forming in your throat.

“I think I know what I want in exchange for that phone call.”

“Oh yeah?” You open you eyes. His look hasn’t changed one bit. If anything, he looks like he loves you more then the moment before.

You don’t doubt that, actually.

“Would one kiss be alight?” He asks it so simply, so sweetly. You could almost forget just who it was that wanted to press their lips against yours.

“...A kiss?” You repeat, closing your eyes.

You think about your mom. How a hug from her could probably fix a lot of things wrong with you right now. How her voice would comfort you in this strange new world you found yourself in.

“I suppose I should have expected that.” You don’t have to open your eyes to see the barest hint of a grin meet his lips. “Yes, I suppose that’s equal then.” You open your eyes to see him; large form on his knees before you. Gentle, calloused hands gently tilting your head opposite of his own.

This is it, this is really it. You close your eyes. Allow him to place a hand on your waist, and find yourself resting your unsure ones around his neck. You were going to kiss Risotto.

The man who loved you.

The man who kidnapped you.

...How long had it been since you kissed someone, anyways?

#yandere risotto #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere risotto x reader #risotto x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #yandere risotto nero #god tagging shit is like how many times can I say the same thing differently #jjba part 5 #JoJo's Bizzare Adventure

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dayseternal-blog · 1 year

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Hello DAYS8! I know this might even not be answered but I am fascinated by some of the fans on how they could balance their life and read and write naruhina fanfics in their spare time. As a student, I struggled a lot these past few months and was fixated on ALWAYS reading Naruhina fanfictions, as in I wouldn't even do my school works and completely procastinate then later cram a LOT just to satisfy my self in reading everyday ALL about naruhina fanfics. It was a stressful lifestyle I got used to back then. Now, I stopped reading since Saturday but I kinda miss reading stories such as that, but maybe taking a break on Naruhina can help me control my life to for a bit. It always feel like I need to finish a lot of fics in a rush like that's just probably wrong. But can you give some advice as to how I can balance Naruhina and my personal + school life? thank you ( ꈍᴗꈍ)!!

Sorry my grammar sucks and not the best out there :)).

Hello! I feel for you. I was a mess in college who procrastinated to the moon and back. I simply didn't do readings. I showed up to some classes unprepared. I was so busy with club/organization activities that I rarely ever talked to my long-distance boyfriend (now my husband). Somehow things worked out and I graduated with relatively good grades. If I went back to that time as the person I am now, I find it difficult to imagine myself handling it any better. I think I was doing my best.

To be upfront, I am generally not a "balanced" person. I don't know what kind of person you are, but I'll share some parts of my life so that I can kind of reflect on what "balance" means to me now and how I've been trying to deal with it. This is an ongoing struggle for me.

A handful of years ago, I was working full-time, attending a competitive online graduate school, and had a preschool-age daughter. At that point, I was also writing "It's No Secret," "Nightdreams," and "Catskin." I was so stressed out, fanfiction was my escape. I'm pretty sure this is a trend across fandom. I noticed that some of the longest works were written during the writers' most stressful times according to the author's notes. I was so unbalanced, and I would bet that many fanfiction authors write their "best" works during periods of their life that they would rather not revisit. I was working so hard, I was mentally checked out on the weekends. My family suffered for it. Taking out fanfiction would not have made my life any easier or more organized. I was stressed. And taking away the space for my brain to unwind in a completely unrelated topic from my real life would not have improved it.

I learned a lot about myself concerning self-discipline during those years.

I need physical location restrictions placed on me. I would do my work at a tea shop that I could easily stop at. Any homework I didn't finish would have to be left for the next day. I tried my very best to not do my work at home. Once I got home, it was relaxation time. Yes, there were nights when my daughter did not see me.

I literally used a student school planner to assign myself what needed to be done every day. I could not go home until I had checked off what needed to be done or unless the tea shop was closing. Once in a while I really did stay until closing. That was an important time restriction. If you can find some place to work that has a time restriction, like a school building that closes at 9:00, that would be a good place to go. Time restrictions not self-imposed force my procrastinating butt to get things done.

I was most productive at a tea shop. Somehow, libraries put me to sleep, home is too distracting, college study rooms are literally the worst, and working outdoors is too difficult. The liveliness of a tea shop coupled with the treat of bubble tea did the trick. Yeah, I spent a lot of money back then. I now wonder if I couldn't have just made my own tea.

I could not do fanfiction until I was done with my day's work. My current restriction now that I'm not in school is that I cannot do fanfiction when I'm at work. I cannot look at fanfiction on my phone unless I'm at home for professional reasons. My workplace locks up around 5:00. I can only write my fanfiction after my daughter is in bed. (Place & Time restrictions)

I will burn myself out for the sake of my work. This is something that I cannot compromise because I refuse to do anything half-heartedly. My family was suffering for my work when we all know that family should be the first priority. So two years ago, I had to change job placements to a less demanding community. That was the only solution. Had I continued working at my old placement, I would have never been able to prioritize my family.

I am most definitely a procrastinator. But procrastination is absolutely fine as long as you're actually getting it done by the deadline. I am also a workaholic. I am secretly competitive. I am prideful and desire to be the best. In the end, something always gets neglected, and at various times of my life that's been my then-boyfriend, my daughter, or my personal health; for me, there is no such thing as true balance. Currently, I am not working as hard as I used to because the community simply doesn't need as much of me for me to achieve good results. I am as "balanced" as I can possibly be right now.

After all that personal reflection, here are a few reflection questions that might be helpful for you:

As a procrastinator, how can you get other people and places to impose restrictions and deadlines on you so that you get your work done? This could be a study partner who has a similar schedule to yours, a building or shop's closing hours (this works for me), or a mentor/advisor (someone who is not your close friend) to set clear expectations and hold you accountable. This might look like asking for someone to sit down with you and help you break down all of your class' assignments into daily tasks. As a procrastinator, these daily tasks MUST feel imminent, meaning it MUST feel like you have to get it done otherwise you're screwing yourself over for the rest of the week. You must always have an urgent sense of "I have to get this done NOW or I'm screwed." If you don't feel like that, then honestly you're not going to get anything done. Speaking as a fellow procrastinator.

How can you romanticize your work to motivate you to enjoy doing it? How can you reward yourself WHILE doing your work? For me, this was a bustling tea shop with bubble tea. For early birds, it's seeing the sunrise and settling into a comfy chair as soon as the Student Center opens before the rest of the student body wakes up. For studyblrs, it's using cute gel pens, blue and pink highlighters, stickers, washi tape, cute post-its, and adorable notebooks; it's taking photos of and documenting their productivity on social media with little coffee cups (check out the #studyblr on tumblr). I had a coworker who would format spreadsheets at home while watching tv dramas. I saw students doing schoolwork while staying in the dining hall to have access to food and a stimulating atmosphere. Maybe you can find someplace that has attractive workers/other students. Nothing like surrounding yourself with cuties. Basically, how can you make your work feel as little like work as possible?

Unfortunately fanfiction cannot be read while working. That's just not possible. So if you want to continue to read fanfics, where and when is it appropriate for you to do so? While you eat dinner? After you study? Between classes? For me, it's weekends and after my daughter is in bed. And then you need strong reasoning as to why that is the only appropriate time and place. My workplace is my workplace. Fanfiction would be unprofessional. I can't have the tea shop workers catching me reading smut. My daughter loves to read. I can't have her asking me to read fanfiction to her. Basically, try to not be alone for most of the productive day, that way the temptation to read isn't there.

Do you want to restrict what device you read fanfiction on? Maybe you can only read fanfiction on your phone, and that leaves your laptop strictly for schoolwork. You could even go as far as to block fanfiction websites on your laptop.

I don't know what you're majoring in, but I have a tip for notetaking on readings that I wish I knew in college and that I only picked up in grad school 😩. If you know you will eventually have to cite text evidence for a future paper or something, while you're doing the readings, copy the quotations you like word-for-word into a Google Doc. Put the page number next to it. That way you don't have to ever go flipping through the book or article ever again. You don't have to highlight. You don't have to dog-ear pages. You just copy-paste that bugger from your list straight into your essay when it comes time to cite your evidence.

Good luck. Stay strong. Fanfiction should be a place to relax rather than a place to feel guilty!

#anon #personal ask #hope this helps #about me #about my writing #my writing advice

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dobaara · 1 year

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hello my angel! 🍇 <33

(also unrelated and sorry if this is a bit of an ignorant question, but you’re studying fashion right? what does one… do when studying fashion? like i know you’ve posted abt organizing photoshoots, do you design the clothes for the models? do you have themes you have to work with? do you do the photography yourself or do you hire someone/is a photographer provided? do you learn abt fashion history? do you have a favourite kind of fabric? a favourite style of fashion?)

hiii hiii chellame!! (brb gonna sob because u called me angel 🥹)

that isn't an ignorant question at all! it's completely fine! I am studying fashion and it depends on what you take under that because fashion is like an umbrella term, under that there's designing, styling, marketing and PR, business, merchandising and soo much more it would take me hours to list everything

now because I'm studying communication and styling under fashion, I dont make the clothes, get them instead, like readymade clothes. I always have themes, a concept note for each shoot and I make a ton of boards related to the theme before moving forward with stuff because they help out a lot! and depending on the work (for ex, when I first started my shoots I was the one who did all the photography but now I can hire a photographer to collaborate with and work with while I can sit back on that and focus on everything else!)

we don't learn just about fashion history, we learn about everything! you can literally ask me about any political, economical and legal factors of the 1970s and 80s in both the US and India that I did for my final project in one of the subjects and I would tell it to yoh even in my sleep, because even those factors are important in the influence of cultures!

ooh I have a lot of favorite fabrics but the one I love and something that I came across during research was this fabric called Mashru that is from the Indian subcontinent, which essentially was a blend of silk and cotton and is one of the earliest forms of "mixed cloth,". In the 12th century A.D., the industry was under the influence of Muslims. While Muslim men were not allowed to wear pure silk due to a religious admonition, a silk-and-cotton blend that they made was allowed. Then during the Mughal period, Mashru was used for the costumes of courtiers and nobles and is presumed to be an Indian innovation!

and my favorite style of fashion definitely has to be rococo fashion! Because it is known for being ✨️ extra ✨️ no joke the first time I saw an illustration of rococo wigs in class I burst out laughing and had to leave class to compose myself. and if you wish to know how that looks like then here you go:-

#i hope ur doing well!! 💕💕#thanku anon this was such a fun ask!#a nannie #asks

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fwacchi · 2 years

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i wanted to talk a little about the last ask u answered, if that’s ok (in advance, i'm so sorry for the lengthy message!!)

I GET ITTTT!! I SERIOUSLY RELATE. how u feel about ibrahim and how u kinda selfishly want him to continue streaming is something i feel so, so often for my oshis. but i wanted to thank you for that response to the ask (and the person who asked the ask too!! i feel like that helped me too), i already felt a little less alone in what i felt and also--- i kind of more properly understood my feelings about grads (?)

like yeah, graduation is inevitable but we cant do any more than live in the moment and enjoy our oshi's (or other members u enjoy!) content as much as possible and feel happy while they're still here. (even if the pain is going to stick with us till our graves OTL gripping my blanket as i type) let's enjoy watching our fav vtubers' content for as long as possible and--- i'm not really sure how to properly express this thought but "turn your experience of watching them into something that can benefit you in the future"? like all the things you've learned from them and how they've helped u grow as a person, lets not forget it even after they leave (sorry for getting ahead of myself and saying things that don't make sense)

well that's all that i wish to say!! i'm sorry to trouble you

P.S. THIS IS TOTALLY UNRELATED BUT I JUST FELT LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT BC IM THINKING AB IT A LOT- consider it smth more lighthearted to distract from the heavy vibes ^^? BRO I FOUND IT SO FUCKING FUNNY WHEN ROFMAO HAD THE WHOLE CONCERT, THEN AN INTERVIEW THEN THEY WERE LITERALLY DRAGGED AWAY BY THE ROFMAO (juku? Not sure) STAFF. LITERALLY BLINDFOLDED AND KIDNAPPED THEM, THOSE PEOPLE WERE ON A SCHEDULE !! (looking forward to tmrs rfm juku ig kwjdfksd) and on a completely different note, i found a clip of when kaida sang magnet in a guitar-karaoke (?) stream and let’s just say i was FLOORED- bro, custom ringtones don't seem to work on my phone but im setting it to this anyway. I want that clip injected directly into my veins, i- okok but all im saying is i love when he sang that with all my heart-

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LENGTHY MESSAGE!!!!! MAY YOUR NEXT MEALS BE DELICIOUS!!

-🍰

this!!! exactly the things i couldn't put into words, especially about them helping us grow into a better person! thank you for saying this <3

Rofmao and their staffs are so chaotic and I'm here for it😭 KAIDA SINGING > ANYTHING ELSE. Period.

#asks for fwacchi #— from 🍰 anon

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awakenee · 2 years

Text

hsmtmts . ep 102

july 6, 2:06 pm cst

completely unrelated but today i ended up accidentally cosplaying as jd from heathers with the trenchcoat and everything 😭

also this is me from after the episode, i wanna apologise for the huge text block + filling some of the space with personal anecdotes that have nothing to do with hsmtmts

"no, that... i'm not my grandma"

getting your measurements taken for costumes is the best thing ever

"he's already ruined this for me. ._."

throb my beloved

how to get your girlfriend back ft. richard bowen

ej's face before the intro card

why are people getting so excited over a group of chairs in a circle? yes, first rehearsal is always a magical moment but still

wait, is kourtney in the musical??

"i won't make eye contact" nini, he's your love interest

sneaky ej

but regardless of how sneaky one may be, there's no avoiding the ashlyn

hey, respect the stage managers >:[

"actually ej's my cousin!! :D" i love ashlyn so much

bonding with the cast is amazing

ej's face

"in a world full of no, this is a space full of yes" that is actually very inspiring

glancing towards your ex girlfriend and then her new boyfriend isn't exactly subtle, ricky

#SopranoMoment

when you're the only one closing your eyes:

ej's face

"did i just join a cult? ._."

people ignoring the existence of punctuation marks is one of my biggest pet peeves tbh

"sHaRpAy CoMa hEaDs fOr cLaSs pErIoD."

also why is there a coma after sharpay? that doesn't sound very gramatically correct

poor big red

aw ej

asking your girlfriend who texted her and then glancing at her ex boyfriend clearly texting someone after she told you it's nothing isn't exactly subtle, ej

seb my beloved

plot twist: miss jenn's mother is actually one of the zombies in zombies

"do you follow zac on instagram?" "no, but clearly i should"

this early rehearsal reminds me of that one time i had to stay late during a rehearsal of my school's musical to go over the details of a song and after i was done the guard at the door wouldn't let me go because i needed a special permission or something and the person that was supposed to give me that special permission disappeared for the next 30 minutes

i want nini's sweater

"aNd tHeN tHeRe'S tHe KiSs!!!"

oooh, hedda gabler

"go away" "no, you go away" go ash

"dating her doesn't mean you own her" gO aSh

oh ho ho ej

does nini forgive ash? i don't remember

"teach them the dance" ricky,,,

gina scares me

i wanted to see if the big book of broadway was actually a thing and one of the suggestions that came up in the search predictions was "the big boo of broadway page 374" 💀

after having had hsmtmts for two years this is the first time i realise the music playing for the curtain call rehearsal is actually we're all in this together

this gives me second hand embarrassment

ricky needs therapy counter: 4

OUCH

double ouch

i want to pat ricky on the pack and give him a big hug

being called by your character's name >>>>

"sorry i can't dance like fred rogers" "it's fred astaire"

sneaky gina

gina just had a thought

ricky needs therapy counter: 5

zoom off ricky

evil understudies mwahahaha

OUCH

aw, poor nini

nini is an icon

"i'm totally over ricky" lies

i'm a s1 rini shipper but woah, this is a great rina moment

gina gives great advice

she also has great music choices

"oh."

ricky is such a mood

the bells in the background >>>>>

imagine being able to dance in front of your parents

sneaky ricky

aw, ricky's so cute

sneaky nini

is ej bullying someone

awh wondering

ash is such a mood

back when i first saw this thing i didnt know who andrew lloyd webber was but now i'm squeaking

miss jenn's face

AWH WONDERING

this song is so amazing i cant

how does nini know the lyrics and the notes

ricky,,,,,,,

i've always thought nini's verse speaks about ricky and ough

this scene always hits me like a truck /pos

sneaky ricky pt. 2

ricky looks like a deer in headlights pt. 2

that's a lot of bubble wrap

possessive ej sucks

SEB,,,,,,

sneaky gina pt. 2

gina no

#hsmtmts #hsm the series #hsmtmts analysis

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thoughts-of-a-heathen · 2 years

Text

So on a similar note as my comment on Finland and Sweden:

It is, in general, more helpful to think of the Nordic countries as spheres of cultural influence, rather than nations, when you're dealing with our folklore and (parts of) our history.

Depending on what time period you're studying, the cultural "borders" shifted massively.

During the iron age, Gotland had a (material) culture more similar to that of Finland and the Baltic States than mainland Sweden.

All of the Nordic countries were part of the same union in the middle ages.

The southernmost part of Sweden used to be part of Denmark until the 17th century. This is why some cultural aspects are more similar to Danish culture than mainstream Swedish culture.

The list goes on.

And this is why you can't separate things based on our current borders.

The folklore of the parts of Sweden that used to belong to Skåneland often have more in common with Danish folklore than with the folklore of Northern Sweden (though not always).

History, geography, linguistics and many other factors need to be considered before making any grand assumptions based on the nationality of the person that happened to write the source material.

However, it is equally important to not make the mistake of thinking that all of the Nordic countries or all of Scandinavia did the same thing or believed the same thing or whatever. This is something I see quite a lot, especially with Iceland.

I remember watching a video where a guy said that it was impossible for the so called "female viking warrior of Birka" to be a warrior, because there's an Icelandic code of law that bans women from dressing in men's clothing. And that's honestly such a bad take on it. An Icelandic code of law doesn't tell us shit about the social norms of Birka. (There are some compelling arguments as to why the "Birka female warrior" wasn't a warrior, but they're completely unrelated to Icelandic law.)

You don't need to be a scholar to read or enjoy tales and folklore, but you need to be mindful of your own limitations. You're definitely allowed to have your own theories, but you need to be aware of the fact that they can be wrong. (Especially if you're just looking to confirm your own biases.)

Let me give you some examples of what I mean:

Without enough background information, one might end up with the belief that people spoke a Uralic language om Gotland, because of the similarities in dress and material culture. Of course people on Gotland actually spoke Gutnish, but if you only read about certain aspects of their material culture, you would never learn about this.

Another example:

There was no meaningful linguistic difference between Swedish and Danish until the 16th or 17th century. (You could hand me a 15th century text, and I probably wouldn't be able to tell whether it was Swedish or Danish.) If you don't have this knowledge, a lot of the wars between Sweden and Denmark would look like ethnic conflicts even when they were not.

So even though I really try to give you the cultural context needed to understand the folklore I'm posting about, there's simply no way for me to include all of the background info that would be necessary for you to get all the nuances.

This is also why I think it's so important to not limit your spiritual or religious research to Books About Heathenry™️, because heathenry and folklore didn't just emerge from a pile of stones. It emerged from complex communities that interacted with the world around them.

I've grown up in Scandinavia, I've studied Scandinavian history and languages and folklore and all that, in school and outside of school, and I still run into completely unfamiliar concepts on a regular basis.

You're never done learning, not even when it comes to your own culture or native language.

#rambles #research #dunning kruger effect #growth #scandinavian folklore

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papermonkeyism · 4 years

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Hey Paper! Happy summer! I have a weird question: do you know how to not feel bad about neglecting your note/sketchbooks? I'm writing and planning ideas for a novel (illustrated, and in general pictures help flesh out stuff) as well as plan a D&D campaign, I have a handful of different empty books for these projects but I only manage to fill out a few spreads before sort of freezing. I look at months long gaps and want to rip my books to tiny shreds! Any advice for getting over this? :(

Not sure, I personally just dump everything into the same sketchbook (and then might go back to mark specific pages with book marks or post it bits so I can find stuff like comic scripts and important world building notes later)

Uh, wall-of-text warning. This got kinda long.

I once tried having a separate book for the dinosaur project thingy, but I think I maxed out at, like, eight pages, and the rest is now in the main sketchbook series.

I do however, have a specific tiny pocket sketchbook dedicated for my dragonborn ranger's DnD campaign notes!

So, question: where do you use your sketchbooks?

The main reason my dinosaur book failed was that sometimes I wanted to draw dinosaurs at school, or at a cafe, or at my parents' place, but I had left my dino specific book at home. My imagination doesn't only work at home, I'm always doing something. And sometimes ideas and inspiration just strike, and I have two options: A, doodle them on the general sketchbook then and there and then move on to draw whatever else I might want to doodle after, or B, NOT draw that idea in the general book, and instead wait untill I get back to the specific book, and often end up drawing nothing at all because this specific idea needs to be drawn first, and also risk forgetting the idea or losing inspiration by the time I get back. This can also lead to an art block, when you're only allowing yourself to do this one, specific thing on this one specific book, when your brain might want to sparkle other ideas elsewhere.

The DnD ranger's book, on the other hand, I keep in the same pile with the character's sheet and her spell card deck. So whenever I get out to go roleplaying, the tiny sketchbook comes with me, and it'll always be at hand when I need to take notes, because that's its main function. (I have taken roleplaying notes on the general sketchbook too, like my monk and warlock are both on the main books, but since the campaigns have been so long, I'd now need to bring two or even three separate sketchbooks to keep all my notes at hand and it's a hassle) But I know I need this specific book when I'm at this specific place, so it's easier to keep consistent.

It is also perfectly normal (for me) to get obsessed by a certain headworld or project for extended periods of time, but also to switch on the fly when a random idea strikes me. My sketchbook's have like archaeological layers. Like "here's a dinosaur era, here's an entire period dominated by Wurr, here's a single drawing of a completely unrelated project, another dinosaur phase, and here's now half a sketchbook of Entica with some random pokemon occasionally sprinkled in". So I can't really predict what I'll feel like drawing at any given time. What if I'm at my parents' place, and have sketchbooks for some of my different projects, but then I see some new discovery on the internet, and I'm suddenly on a dinosaur phase again? Do I need to keep ALL the specific sketchbooks at hand wherever I go? That could make multiple kilograms by now. I might be really into a world for a long while, and then neglect it for another headworld for months, sometimes even years before circling back. That happens.

Maybe there's pressure to create pretty, concise and consistent content, but that can also turn into a block. If you only allow yourself to do Pretty and Perfect, you might never get anything done. (this is why my sketchbooks have pages of experimental messes and outright ruined pages. Sometimes you just need to splatter coffee all over a page to make it less intentionally pretty, so there's less things to worry about. Sketchbooks are sllowed to be messy)

One of my DnD buddies makes messy notes on scrap paper during sessions, but collects them in this pretty, hand made book afterwards. Maybe that's an option too? Collect notes from general sketchbook, if you have one, into the specific ones by copying them? Or maybe even scrapbook them instead? Like you could make your notes in a general book whenever you think them up, maybe even use a sketchbook with tearable pages, and then cut and paste pages on their designated project books later?

If you have a specific place where you work, like a specific desk, maybe have a little book case on it with all the sketchbooks, so you have them at hand and can switch books depending on what you're working on at any given moment.

Or if you have specific places to get into mood (DnD campaign planning always happen on this specific chair, or at a coffee shop, but novel writing at the library? So today you know you're gonna go to a library, so you know in advance you'll be working on a novel and need the novel note sketchbook. Back before my Brainstorm Buddy moved out of town, I knew whenever I was visiting, we'd be working on comics (or pretended to be working on comics) , so I had my comic folder with me whenever I went to see her. I sometimes still get into Wurr mode whenever I walk this specific road to where she used to live)

(or just dump everything into the same book and bookmarking the heck out of it with color coded post it bits like some dumbass, a.k.a me.)

Any helpful?

#shut up paper #Sketchbooks #long post

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