#ok im done for good now i just needed to acknowledge the only comment that actually made me go outside and touch grass
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hi sorry i know i said im disappearing forever but i just had to say: to the person that said i seem like someone who identified a little too much with evan hansen of dear evan hansen fame in high school. first of all fuck you. second of all your comment gave me acid reflux. third of all fuck you
#pk.txt#how do you just SAY that to a person#it would be kinder to take me out back and put me down like a dog#is it too late for that.#can you do me a favor. can you fucking shoot me bethany.#i will never recover from this. i am deleting my entire life from the internet out of shame. sayonara you weeaboo shits#ok im done for good now i just needed to acknowledge the only comment that actually made me go outside and touch grass
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shut in [9]
Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)
Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting
Word count: 2.8k
A/N: ok ok ok ok sam deserves the world and im mad that he’s not getting it
i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist
He was gone.
10:00am
Time had begun to slip past you. Days where you were forced to wake up at 4am were just a dreary memory you didn’t want to revisit. The rough shoves in the morning to have you awake enough to be in training by 4:30am only fell into the category of things you had forgotten over the time you had stayed here.
Maybe sleep wasn’t a luxury you weren’t allowed to afford.
10:30am
By the time you step into the kitchen, the loose structure of the day you had ahead of you was forming. Maybe if you revisited the small makeshift shooting range you had set up for Sam and you to practice. A couple of old soup cans, a flat boulder for them to sit on and you were good to go. He had allowed you to use his giant board for knife throwing too, laughed when you asked for permission before saying it was for the both of you.
You made a sandwich for yourself, forcing it down your throat with water. Bread was starting to feel like cardboard and the jam just tasted like nothing. Peanut butter was even worse.
Losing appetite wasn’t an option, even though it had eroded a while ago. The best option was to just scarf it down with water.
11:00am
Sam isn’t in the house, you had deduced. A morning run or maybe just some fresh air.
You checked for the notes he sometimes left for you when he went out. Something along the lines of when he’d be back, or why he’d left, or where you could find him.
You looked on top of the fridge where he generally left them; someplace he knew you’d see. You didn’t find one.
You shrugged it off.
Something felt wrong about the arrangement of the kitchen but you couldn’t place a finger on what it was. All the chairs were in its place, trash appropriately in the bin, no bowls were left from soup day in the sink to wash.
The origami swan you had made still rested next to his paper airplane. Nothing seemed wrong or out of place.
You pushed yourself to shake off the nerves, to get dressed instead. The shooting range was waiting for you.
12:45pm
When you shoot for thirty and get all thirty, it tends to get a little boring. Not that you were complaining; if even one was off you’d spend the whole day trying to make up for it.
Violent hobbies weren’t ideal. They weren’t even hobbies per se. Just skills you needed to keep sharp if you wanted to survive.
You even shot at the targets that you had hung up on the trees. Dangerous and completely Sam’s idea. Said the wind made them act like moving targets. Nevermind the possibility of a ricochet.
The target board was empty too. Admittedly, knife throwing was a little harder to get used than shooting to but it still only took a few tries before you were hitting bullseye over and over again.
There just wasn’t anything to do. And you realised it had been this way for a while but you never noticed due to his lively chatter or how competitive it got with stupid games you were making up as you went.
1:00pm
You learned against the counter as you ate, eyeing the room, trying to figure out what you had misplaced. The air was cold, even more so after the shower, so you threw on an extra t-shirt to aid you.
You made a noise of disapproval when you couldn’t find what was wrong. A quick wash of your hands before you made your way to the TV, fully intending to doze off while watching Megamind for the fourth time.
You passed by the mini fridge on the way, noting how you needed to restock the ice cubes when you suddenly stopped in your path.
Your eyes peeled back to the small paper bowl Sam had crafted expertly that was still somehow managing to stick together. But that was what was wrong.
The keys were missing.
The fucking car keys and the pocket change you had taken from Pierce’s house were no longer there.
Your body moved on autopilot, dragging you towards the front door. You yanked it open, door creaking under the pressure you applied on it.
Your heart sank.
The car was gone.
1:20pm
You had all the possibilities listed out in front of you with the rest scratched out after you had rationalised it.
Someone had come in and taken the car, which wasn’t likely.
Sam had stepped out but hadn’t mentioned it to you. If he did, why would he need the car?
Someone had abducted Sam, which was absurd on paper but still left a twinge of uncertainty because you couldn’t definitively rule it out.
He had just left. Decided he was done and left.
You stared at the last option.
“Fuck,” you cursed.
You could feel his muscle shift as he looked at you.
“What’s wrong?”
You opened your mouth but shut it again. How do you explain it to him without sounding utterly ridiculous?
You wondered if it was that conversation.
He wouldn’t leave after you told him, would he?
You hesitated before shaking your head.
He’d come back. He would.
1:45pm
You had added a few more possibilities to the list but discarded it almost immediately.
You now found a place in front of the TV, watching but not registering what was said. Your fingers kept itself busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. You had thrown another one on since his jacket was missing with the rest of him. It had gotten colder.
The woman droned on about how much her husband loved the recipe she was making. It was Sam’s favourite segment, not because it was particularly fantastic or anything, but because it gave him forty five minutes of free content to trash talk.
Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock. Was it broken or was time much slower than you initially thought?
You almost felt like you were in a cognitive dysfunction; you couldn’t do anything other than while away time till you figured out what had gone wrong.
2:00pm
If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t have heard the soft crunch of twigs. The whirring of the wheels as it turned gently only made you sit up straight, hands on the gun that rested on the couch beside you.
It came to a stop. The gun was fully in your grip now, TV turned off to determine what the noises were.
It was the most agonisingly slow minute you spent listening as the car opened and shut, muffled by the distance. You were near the door, using the adjoining wall as a hideaway.
The doorknob shook as someone tried to push their way in.
“Sam?” you called out cautiously against your better judgement, mentally cringing.
It took a second for his reply to return.
“Hey, sweetheart. Let me in, will you? Stupid door’s not opening.”
Of course it wouldn’t. It was fingerprint activated.
Relief flooded your system, letting yourself hold the gun with only one hand as you hastily made your way to open the door.
However, you paused. As much as you wanted to fling the door open blindly, you waited, hand on the knob.
“Is someone out there with you?”
“What?” he sounded confused. “No, it’s just me.”
You opened the door slightly, peeking out through the sliver of open space.
Sure enough, it was only him. The car was returned to the same spot that it was.
“Where were you?” You yanked the door open. You sounded way more aggressive than you planned to, you were sure. It didn’t matter though.
“Went to the store,” he said nonchalantly, stepping inside, and dropping the keys back where they were.
“What?”
He was so relaxed about it, like it was nothing. It only irked you further than you already were.
“Drove the car till the highway, walked into town and went to the store.” He set the bag down. “What’d you do all day?”
“You went to the town,” you emphasised. “To the fucking store.”
“Yeah, I figured you would be up by the time I came back.”
“You were gone for hours.” You crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to yell. You could talk it out calmly. You didn’t have to snap
You hoped he had a good reason. You sincerely hoped, for his well being and security, that he risked his life to go to public space.
“We’re way further out than you think. Nearest dollar store’s almost the next fuckin’ state if you’re walking. Had to ditch the car because it’s a little too flashy, even for me.” He lifted up the bag next to him. “Got us some ramen. And juice. That’s all we had cash for anyway.”
You stare at him, mouth slightly agape.
“You could have been seen, Sam,” your tone was corrosive, the next best you could do instead of yelling. “For all we know, you could have been followed.”
“No one followed me. I made sure.”
That did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that was crawling into your head.
“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered. “Fucking ridiculous.”
“Where are you going?” You ignored him, turning on your heel and walking to the bedroom. You didn’t care if it was his day that day. He could rot in the kitchen with his stupid ramen for all you cared.
You cursed as you slammed the door behind you, launching yourself onto the bed.
There was no denying you were relieved that he was still alive and here. But fuck him. Fucking dickhead.
Fucking juice.
You spent the next couple of hours feeling absolutely embarrassed for yourself. Why did you spend hours worrying if he was safe when he was out there, gallivanting in public for some stupid noodles?
Both of you could have been absolutely fucked if he wasn’t careful. He may have just jeopardised your entire set up.
But deep down, no matter how much it was annoying to acknowledge, you knew he wouldn’t have. He was smart, strategic.
Why would he do something like this?
How much you were worried scared you. There was no time where it had occurred that maybe you were in danger too. Every possibility you came up with only pushed the thought of him possibly in trouble further into your head.
But the more you spend time overthinking, the more you realised that him being in danger wasn’t the entire cause of your worry.
What if he didn’t come back? Why’d he come back?
He had the means to leave, the will to and clearly was able to go undetected for a while. He didn’t need to return, but he did.
And for what; to give you some food he bought from the dollar store.
He seemed excited about it too, before you had closed the door on his face and decided to spend the next few hours self-destructing.
Fucking ramen.
Maybe if you could just lie there until you decomposed, then you wouldn’t have to have a conversation with him about this. That’s what you would have done a couple of months ago.
But now the idea of communicating had been implanted and implemented several times before. It didn’t feel right to push it away, not when you’d come so far. A chance to heal.
You groaned, shoving a pillow onto your face before getting up grumpily.
Fuck this man and his stupid, healthy methods of coping.
___
You opened the door slowly, creeping into the hallway to assess what he was doing. It had been a few hours of silence in the house. He had given you space, not come knocking on the door to explain himself.
You took note of the kitchen. The table had been laid with two bowls of noodles covered with a plate along with a glass each of juice. It was domestic. Cute.
He was watching Die Hard but the volume was turned down low. If he was anything like you, he wouldn’t have been paying too much attention.
You cleared your throat awkwardly to grab his attention.
His neck craned to look at you, surprise flashing across his face for a second before he leapt up, turning off the TV in an instant.
“Y/N,” he stated as normally as he could.
“Samuel,” your tone was steady.
He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Wasn’t sure if you were gonna show up.”
“Neither was I.” You looked at the table, gesturing towards it with your shoulder. “Watchu got there, Gordon Ramsey?”
Because screw him, but the longer you stood there staring at the bowl, you were starting to understand the lengths he went to to get something other than bread, peanut butter and soup. As much as the prospect of being petty thrilled you, you had survived on nothing but them for the past few weeks.
“Got a few packs of ramen and a gallon of juice from the store. Thought you- we deserve somethin’ nice.” You noticed his quick coverup but didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s not Michelin star worthy, but it’ll do.”
You nodded, avoiding looking at him.
“I-”
“Hey-”
Both of you started at the same time, only to be cut off by the other. You mentioned for him to continue.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I should have told you before I left,” You didn’t expect the sincerity that exuded from every word he let out and you found yourself unable to look away. “I’m not used to people worrying about where I go... but things are different now. I won’t do it again.”
You weren’t used to the feeling of lightness that accompanied an apology. Relief.
“Thank you,” you said breathily. His face noticeably brightened. “But why’d you come back?”
His small smile left as soon as it came, as his face fell into a frown. “What?”
“You could have just left. You had the car, the-” you stopped yourself from listing out reasons why he should have. “Why’d you come back?”
He looked completely confused.
“Because I wanted to,” he voiced. “Leaving you behind was never an option. I wouldn’t-”
He trailed off, eyes never leaving yours.
“You’re stuck with me,” he urged softly. “We’re a team.”
You lingered on him longer than you wanted to admit. He wasn’t lying, you had realised.
“Care to join me for dinner?” he asked, extending a hand to you.
You rolled your eyes but took it, feeling the heat creep up your neck. He smirked at you and fuck, he was frustratingly cute.
You understood. You totally understood when you nearly died at the first bite you took, vowing to never take food like this for granted again. It may have been the absolute bare minimum; just the seasoning and noodles he had cooked in the microwave, but it was the best goddamn meal you ever had.
“Good, right?” He looked about as content as he could be.
“Best fuckin’ day of my life.”
He kidded around some more. You choked out a laugh at some, wholly ignored the others to which he took complete offence. You saw it as a way to humble him.
This was the normalcy you had crushed your craving for so long ago, accepting that it wouldn’t ever happen. A normal dinner with someone who made you smile, no impending doom lurking around the corner and maybe a shot at a glimmer of something happy.
It was strange that you found it with another hitman in a safe house, hiding from authorities and who knows what else, with food worth a couple of cents. You wouldn’t want it any other way.
Yet there were things that had to be discussed. Conversations that needed to happen.
“Sam, we need to talk about it.” You didn’t have to explain, he knew what you were talking about.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before saying anything,” you pulled away from him, shuddering at the sudden cold that enveloped you.
“I’m listening.”
“We do,” he agreed, and you could feel the atmosphere in the room begin to shift. “But we don’t have to do it now.”
He reached across from where he was sitting, hesitantly interlacing your fingers. The sense of fluster you experienced wasn’t healthy, you decided.
You just ducked your head, fighting against the damn smile that was trying to make its way onto your face. You didn’t pull away.
“Okay.”
Next part
#sam x reader#sam wilson x reader#mcu fic#sam fic#sam wilson fic#sam wilson fluff#sam wilson angst#sam wilson series#falcon#falcon x reader#the falcon x reader#hitman!sam wilson#hitman!au#shut in fic#marvel fic#marvel#mcu#sam wilson#the falcon#sam wilson fanfiction#marvel imagine#marvel fanfiction#sam wilson imagine#sam imagine
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Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan
request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry
genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol)
pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!)
word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away
tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing
a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE
“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss.
You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?”
Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.”
“Why?”
Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.”
You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).
“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray.
“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you.
“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee.
Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?”
You rolled your eyes.
“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.”
You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.”
Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.”
“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away.
Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.
Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually.
His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two.
Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you.
“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.”
Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.”
“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you.
“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time.
“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.”
Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with.
You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?”
Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.
Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive.
“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.”
You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt.
“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.”
You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise.
As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.”
Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time.
You watched as Chris shrugged.
“We’ll see.”
===
“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you.
“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.”
Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”
Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job.
“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused.
“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen.
Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.
At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon.
“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!”
You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.
“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.”
“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little.
Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.”
You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong.
“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.”
Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.”
You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.”
“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.”
===
You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang.
The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there.
His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill.
“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise.
“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia.
Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied).
“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.”
Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own.
“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face.
Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.
“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.”
Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this?
One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing.
“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.”
You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide.
“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.
Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender.
“What? Just speaking off of observation.”
You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead.
You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly.
“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture.
Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight.
“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior.
Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.”
Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you.
“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm.
You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed.
Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards.
Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about.
That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway.
“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard.
“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw.
seungmin (personal)
2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.-
“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“
“In his defence, you insulted him first.”
You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger.
“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?”
And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man.
Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering.
“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.
“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.
“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?”
You nodded, “yeah, sure.”
“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.”
You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.
Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.”
You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?”
You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks.
Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach.
Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea.
Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in.
Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting.
Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back.
You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off.
“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.
You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take.
“What’s this?”
"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle.
"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to."
Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate.
"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief.
He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?"
"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day."
You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm.
"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?"
Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously.
"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged.
"You have one whole year to prove that to me."
In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).
1. Sleep was a luxury.
In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity.
You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him.
In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then.
Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed.
Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms. Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order.
You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch.
Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out.
Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late.
"Shit!"
Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach.
"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes.
"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay.
Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror.
"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down.
Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office.
Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right?
You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace.
Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room.
Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could.
Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious.
“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp.
“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.
Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?”
You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream.
Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you.
Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk.
“In my office, please,” he murmured.
You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you.
“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?”
Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.”
Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?”
“No, yeah of course it is—“
“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.”
You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?”
Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost.
“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.”
“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment.
You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?”
Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.”
Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure.
2. Chris was a workaholic
It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be.
After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him.
You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk.
Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already.
"Working late again?"
You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right?
You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh.
"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin.
"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment.
"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris.
"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was).
"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office.
Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors, placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly.
Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes.
He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask.
"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything."
You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris.
Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon."
Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now.
Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you.
"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain.
Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you.
"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well.
"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night.
10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning -
Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry.
And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that
3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you.
After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too).
The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him.
Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments.
"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke.
Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries.
"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like.
"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?"
You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him."
You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed.
Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him."
Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"
You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning."
Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school.
Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention.
"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway.
Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?"
"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something."
You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now."
Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling.
You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right?
Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?"
You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply.
"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you."
"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?"
Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious.
The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming.
"Let's break up."
You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words.
"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that."
Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship."
You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?"
"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank.
"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before."
Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further.
"When did it start?"
"That doesn't matter-"
You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know."
"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss."
You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was.
"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting.
Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office."
You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.
The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it.
Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things.
The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer.
"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people."
You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions.
"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you."
Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know."
Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now.
"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?"
Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more.
"Who's calling you?" he asked.
You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff.
"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye."
You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas.
And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time.
Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'.
===
You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed.
Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you.
You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out.
Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.
Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting.
While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing.
For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room.
Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him.
You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder.
"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat."
(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more.
“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”
Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.”
Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?”
Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)
You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries.
"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug.
"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway."
(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words).
After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things.
"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt.
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"
Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles
"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors.
"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers.
"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one."
Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.
"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you.
You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried.
Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt.
Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly.
“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed.
Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too?
You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically.
“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie.
You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes.
“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie.
God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment.
Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom.
Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.
“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk.
“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“
You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him.
“Having fun?”
“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there.
Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.
“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.”
Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued.
“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.”
You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.”
You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk.
"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was.
"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris.
"Director Kang's here to see you."
"Okay, send him in."
Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room.
"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?"
Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."
"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?"
Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her."
The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter.
"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked.
The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me."
Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."
You nodded, exiting quickly.
"What did you come to tell me about?"
"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?"
Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious."
This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend."
"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?"
Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend."
Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?"
"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type."
As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?"
He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'.
Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright.
"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today."
Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice?
"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today.
Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go.”
On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now.
You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table.
“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting.
“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown.
“Your boss still giving you trouble?”
Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.”
She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.”
Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?”
You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring.
Your eyes widened, “no way.”
She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout.
“When’s the wedding?” You asked.
“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought.
You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.”
She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!”
You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin.
“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.”
Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?”
You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite.
“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.”
Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?”
You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.”
Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day.
You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally.
You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment.
“What’s the program gonna be like?”
Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up.
“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you.
Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off.
“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him.
Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.”
===
“How many days?”
Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district.
You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.”
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly.
Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too.
“Okay.”
“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?”
Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.”
You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific.
Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening.
Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate.
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.”
Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?”
This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!”
Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself.
“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?”
His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”
Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him.
Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.”
Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand.
Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached.
eujin
6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!-
Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things.
You saw an incoming text from Seungmin.
seungmin (personal)
6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here-
6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-
seungmin (personal)
6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun-
You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor.
Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room.
You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you.
“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed.
“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends.
“Tired from work?”
You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.”
You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion."
You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married.
“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them.
“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh.
“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh.
“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.”
“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug.
“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.”
You hummed, shrugging.
“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.”
You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with.
Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on.
You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good.
You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”
===
At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days.
You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over.
“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.”
While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before.
“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?”
Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.”
Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting?
“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.”
Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that?
“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head.
Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.”
Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?”
“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you.
“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.”
“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.”
Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!”
“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.”
Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room.
“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”
Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin.
“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach.
Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person.
Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.”
His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.”
You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris.
“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?”
You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you.
“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply.
“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl.
You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.
You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law.
“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously.
“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you.
You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question?
“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?”
You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you.
You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair.
Chris smirked, two could play at this game.
“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.”
“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.”
You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised.
“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses.
“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.”
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.”
You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session.
You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ).
Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you.
Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time.
"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that."
Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter.
You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion.
"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?"
Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..."
Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah."
You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now."
Chris scoffed, "what weird?"
You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips.
One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding,"
You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority."
You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes.
"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?"
You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."
Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me."
You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go.
Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris.
"Leave me alone," you huffed.
Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything."
You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed.
It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations.
Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately.
"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now."
You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town.
You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling.
"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here."
You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace.
He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in.
You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap.
"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable."
And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year.
"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood.
"And what I said," you added as an afterthought.
Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”
Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you.
“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?”
You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?”
He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.”
Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.
Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him.
Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-"
Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?"
Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot."
You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach.
"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-"
"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason.
Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend."
Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark.
"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button.
"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded.
"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance
"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan."
"Chan?"
He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work."
You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze.
"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling.
"Yes, that's your name," he laughed.
Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes.
"My room's here."
You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say.
"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?”
You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose.
You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.”
===
“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch.
“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.”
Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked.
“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.”
“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.”
Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”
You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan.
“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.”
Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?”
Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan.
boss
11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?-
“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.”
Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.”
You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason.
“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.”
“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.”
You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.”
Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting.
“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.
Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there.
Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted.
“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.
He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?”
His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?”
You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor.
“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.
“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.”
Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on.
“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug.
“Not really.”
Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items.
Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood.
“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous.
Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.
“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks.
“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.”
You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend.
Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.
“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him.
“Nothing.”
You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you.
Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue.
“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot.
“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?”
You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?”
“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.”
Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.”
This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend.
“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?”
Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.”
You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised.
“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship.
You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.”
Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.”
You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.”
“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.”
You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now.
“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.”
Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.”
You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.”
Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?”
Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.”
Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.”
You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.”
You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something.
“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food.
You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change.
Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously.
It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself.
Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner.
Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you.
“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?”
He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.”
You shot him a look, “drinks?”
He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.”
Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”
Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.”
You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat.
“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car.
“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise.
Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.”
===
You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully.
“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door.
Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion.
“This isn’t my room?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.”
He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.”
Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it.
Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head.
“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.”
You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently.
Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could.
“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat.
The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner.
Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin.
“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed.
You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?”
“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?”
You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.”
She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?”
You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal.
“Too early to tell,” you lied.
“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen.
“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.”
Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze.
“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.”
You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan.
“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm.
“You’re delusional.”
Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing.
Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room.
After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too.
Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan.
“Is there something going on with you two?”
“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.
“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?”
Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure.
Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.
“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?”
Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life.
Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests.
Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well.
The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving.
You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to.
You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.
You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious.
“Is that your boss?”
You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance.
Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion.
“Hey, I was just gonna email her!”
“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.”
You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue.
Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.”
You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit.
“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now.
“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding.
“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him.
He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back.
After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life.
“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road.
“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning.
“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.”
You nodded, “you too.”
Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing.
His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her.
===
You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.
You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss.
Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today.
You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you.
Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.”
You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?”
Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.”
Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“
Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.”
You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.”
Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap.
“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.”
Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words.
“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.”
Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression.
“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.”
You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment.
You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face.
“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.”
===
“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.
“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully.
You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan.
“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face.
“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!”
You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“
“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.”
You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.”
Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait.
Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression.
“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.”
You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry.
You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge.
“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout.
“I really don’t like him.”
Chan sighed, “same here.”
“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk.
“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.”
Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose.
“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.”
You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip?
Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?”
Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him.
“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you.
“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…”
Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.”
Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected.
“Will you be needing me for anything else?”
He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.”
You nodded slowly, exiting the room.
By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate.
You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you.
As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement.
“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.”
You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.”
“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.”
You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?”
Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.”
You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze.
“Whatever,” you scoffed.
“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.”
Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.”
You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?”
“What? It’s true!”
You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone.
“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench.
“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop.
You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?”
Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself.
“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.”
You rolled your eyes.
Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was.
Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him.
Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?”
“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.”
Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that.
About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water."
You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this."
Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?"
===
You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either).
You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here.
Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office.
Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room.
Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness.
Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence.
Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again.
“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”
Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair.
Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him.
Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him.
Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you.
“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind.
“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”
He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?”
You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly.
“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.”
Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue.
“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further.
You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand.
“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly.
“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely.
You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm.
“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression.
“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured, pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself.
“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you.
Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.”
Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours.
Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss.
“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well.
“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless.
“Why?”
You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.”
Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side.
“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips.
===
“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely.
The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office.
“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed.
“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?”
And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you.
Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk.
Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.”
#chris bang#bang chan#christopher bang#bang chan fluff#bang chan scenarios#bang chan au#stray kids#stray kids bang chan#stray kids chan#skz#skz au#skz fluff#skz scenarios#stray kids seungmin#skz seungmin#kim seungmin#enemies-to-lovers!bang chan#workplace!au#enemies to lovers#skz imagines
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Rewarded
Hades x (Neutral)Reader
Warning, nsfw!
Tags: Cockwarming, size kink, exibitionism? praise kink? (ask to tag pls)
Summary: Reader has been working hard for the house of Hades, and the master of the house has noticed and wants to reward them.
Authors note: Ok, VERYFIRST TIME writing smut, hopefully its good, or at least passable, english isnt my first language soooo yeah keep that in mind... P-please gimme feedback >///<
Your job at the House of the dead was a strange one. You weren't quite sure how to name it, but for now everyone referred to you as “The assistant”, you never really stayed in the same place for long, always being the one everyone called for help when a task was too much to handle. You have been assigned to Dusa to help with the cleaning, you’ve been working hard with the other shades inside the archive, you’ve been even assigned to stand by Achilles' side when the master of the house had visitors and considered some extra security was necessary. Dusa would always tell you how happy everyone was with your presence in the house, how helpful you’ve been, and how amazingly adaptable you were, having skills that allowed you to act and serve in all these different areas. Your face was quite often on the board at the Lounge, and it was obvious Hades himself was quite pleased with your performance. It was often that you would be called into his desk, to either give a report on your current task or to be praised for your hard work, which always left you inspired and happy for your next task.
You had to admit, your hard working attitude came not only for your passion for your work, but also for the passion you felt towards your master. You couldn't be quite sure when it started, it definitely wasn't there when you first arrived at the house. Hade´s was a rough man, cold, strict, serius. You would always hear him berate the others when their performance was not enough, often punishing them if their results were lacking. It was somewhere between Orpheus' punishment for refusing to sing, and when Zagreus started to openly fight back against his father, that you were called, alone, to Hades’ desk. Of course, at that time, you were anxious, wondering if even with your efforts, the master was disappointed in you and called to have you berated and punished, just like Orpheus was not so long ago, but no. Hades had specially called you simply to praise you, to say how, when so many of his workers, when even his own son was unable to handle his duties, you alone were there to support, cover and pull the needed effort and time to have the house working properly. You weren't able to suppress the smile in your face, or the tingling in your stomach as you heard the so often strict and stern master, praise your hard work for the whole house to hear. Slowly but surely you became obsessed with it. With working hard just to hear Hades himself telling you of your good work and how pleased he was with you. Soon you realized that those words did more than just kindle the fire of your hard work, but also left you warm with another kind of fire, one that burned between your legs. Now, everytime Hades praised you, you had to- no, you needed to take a short break to indulge yourself in that heat, to touch yourself and satisfy this burning need that arouse from you each time that booming, rough voice reverberated through your being, just to tell you how good you’ve been to this house, to him.
Today, you were hoping for such a praise, since you’ve been assigned to work at the archives, getting a lot of paperwork ready for Hades’ reviewing. This was your favorite thing to do, since the Lord was always so busy with paperwork at his desk, always reading and writing and filing, he never had anybody else there to help him with that particular part of the process, sure, at the archives many shades worked to get said paperwork ready for him, but no matter how hard you worked or how many shades he had at his disposal, he was always glued to his work, concentrated and dedicated, but also tired and slightly bored of the repetitive tasks he has at hand. There wasn't much you could do other than work hard and please him with your work, which immediately sent another jolt of heat through you. Of course, your stack of documents was done, which meant you now needed to personally deliver them to his desk. Your smile was proud and your face was slightly flushed from the heat you felt, feeling a bit too eager today to hear what your master had to say. Silently you wondered if it was noticeable, if the master knew that your enthusiastic work and demeanor came from these kinds of feelings, or even if the other people in the house knew. For a moment you thought how would Zagreus react, if he knew you had the hots for his father, but you quickly had to shake that thought and compose yourself, as you passed Achilles and walked straight up to Hades’s desk.
As always, he was seated there, in his throne, reading attentively one of the many documents he had in his desk. One small part of you felt bad, because the stack of documents was considerably going to grow with the one you were holding, but sadly that stack was going to work either way. Patiently you waited, the stack was heavy but his desk was way too tall for you, and you already knew that interrupting him was never a good idea. If only you could float like Hypnos or Thanatos, or if you were taller, but just like the prince, your stature meant that you’d need some help to get up the desk. Soon, you saw Hades pick up his plume, signing one of the documents, a sign that he was done with his current one, and immediately you made your wade to his side, ready to hand the paperwork for when he stretched his arms to receive them. With a pleased hum, he acknowledged you, taking the stack of papers and thanking you in the process.
“Quick and efficient as always. Glad that there is someone here who never disappoints me.” You had to stifle a laugh, the comment was not only a praise to you but also a small insult to Hypnos, who was floating and sleeping soundly in the hallway in front of you two.
“Now,” he said, tidying the new stack of documents before fully turning to you. “The house has been working quite efficiently lately, so i'm afraid there are few dignified chores left for someone of your skill and dedication...” That wasn't exactly a bad thing, sometimes you were given time off to rest, but there was something different about the way he spoke, the way he was looking at you. Anxiety started to build in you, and as you opened your mouth to say something, he simply raised his hand, stopping you. “Except one thing.” He moved, lowering his hand to your level. “Come here.” You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, your knees trembling, and cold drops of sweat falling from your brow. Was he really telling you to climb his hand? Nervously, you took a seat on it, allowing your master to raise you and place you comfortably in his lap. This was new, very new and confusing, you’ve never seen anyone have the honor of sitting on Hade's lap, but there you were, comfortable laying in one of his powerful thighs, staring up at him. Your master, who everyone respected and feared, who always made your very being burn was giving you this sort of treatment, of affection? His voice is lower this time, huskier, “Today I have a different task for you… A different kind of service that I need” His hand was on your back now, rubbing it gently. “One which will be quite pleasurable for you and for me.” You had been staring at him this whole time, looking at his eyes, his expression, which was something you’ve never seen before, desire was evident in his face. Desire for you. “I have made a concoction, to allow you to handle such a task-” he continued, now his other hand lifting his robes, exposing himself for you. You could not believe it. Your master wanted this from you, just as much as you wanted it from him. His size was massive, proportional to a man of his build and stature, you couldn't help but reach out, running your hand over it, how were you supposed to please him? Even with your both hands you wouldn't be able to stroke him firmly, much less fit him inside of you- But your thoughts were interrupted by something uncorking. He did say something about a concoction, but how-
A small vial was in his hands, the liquid of which looked like nothing you had ever seen. It shifted in color, going from red to orange to green, it must have been made from Hades’ power. “Do not fear. Spread yourself for me, and I'll take care of the rest...” You didn't have to be told twice. Breathing heavy, you allowed your master to pour that strange liquid into your entrance, which seemed to burn you in the most pleasurable way, making you let out soft pleased sounds. “It was about time we took some sort of break, so few of us take our work seriously...” gently, he applied pressure with his finger into your entrance, which to your surprise stretched without problem to fit his finger, coating your insides with the strange liquid as it went in. “And you are one of the bests of course.” His words were like honey, fueling the need inside you. “That's why I know only you will be up to this task….” He removed his finger, having your insides well coated and warm for his member. “I want you to keep me company, to keep me warm... While im at my desk today.” Your legs were shaking, but you knew what you had to do, he really didn't have to tell you. Bracing yourself against his chest, slowly you pressed your entrance into his member, even with the concoction, it took some effort, the tip slipping a couple of times before being able to get in. The stretch should have been painful, but all you could feel was pleasure, the burn of the strange liquid must have changed you, allowing you to take such size and not feel an ounce of pain. “Hmmmmm, go on now, get comfortable- Ah~!” Your master moaned when you started moving, the tightness of your hole breaking a small part of his determination to keep this quiet. You yourself weren't being quite quiet either, whimpers, moans and whines coming out of you as you slowly adjusted your tight grip on Lord Hades’ cock as you sank down, coming to a rest against him, now his member fully sheathed inside of you. Your Lord seemed to be taking a moment to compose himself while you simply slumped against him, your thighs twitching as your insides squeezed exquisitely around your master. In the back of your mind, you wondered if this was some sort of dream, one witch you’d never want to wake up from, but as Hades moved a document from the stack to be reviewed, one of his hands went for you, lifting you barely from his cock and pushing you down again, making him growl in satisfaction and you cry out in pleasure. “Absolutely perfect. Even now your performance is impeccable.” You couldn't really answer much to that, being a bit overwhelmed by this whole situation. “I was hoping to work while you kept me pleased, but you’ve demonstrated to be far more… stimulating than I thought.” He shifted you again, making you see stars and your insides to tremble. “But It hardly matters, this just means my paper work can wait....” He looked hungry at you, even more so, now holding you with both hands with the clear intention of focusing on you. “Now I’ll have to work on giving us both a reward for working so hard.”
With that, he started really moving you, pounding at you slowly and gently at first, but quickly picking up pace and intensity. Your screams of pleasure practically echoed in the house, you were unable to repress them, far too gone in the pleasure to care. “That's it, L-let everyone know your price- your pleasure!” He boomed on top of you, now lifting you up to lay on the desk as he stood and pounded away at you. “Let this be an example for everyone- Only the best can get this from me” Hades growls and loudly proclaims on top of you now, his movements so fanatic you can't understand how you havent came ten times by now, but the ecstasy you felt right now was more than worth it. You couldn't help but look around, now laying in said desk you had vision of Hypnos, who clearly had woken up and was openly staring with both of his hands over his mouth, a deep flush evident in his face, and achilles, who clearly was looking away, red and ashamed of being in proximity of such an act, and of course, many shades where looking, some even cheering at the expectable, even with the little features they had, you could see a pang of envy on them, which only fueled your pleasure. With a mighty grunt, he slammed deep inside of you, filling your insides with his seed, which was all you needed to break and finally cum yourself, blacking out for a second, over the overwhelming wave of pleasure he had just given you, that delicious burn his liquid gave you coming back with vengeance, making you ride your orgasm with that pleasure too, leaving you utterly spent and satisfied. Maybe it was that same liquid which made your orgasm wait, so that you could reach it with master Hades.
Now, with both of you panting, he gently pulls out of you, covering himself again and using a clan rag on one of his drawers to help you clean up. The adoration in your face must have been evident, since the look he gave you was both gentle and smug. “I’ll leave you to rest in my quarters, but once I'm finished with this paperwork, I'll join you one more there, I won't be long.” With that, he picked you up and carried you to his room, just in time for zagreus to rise from the river, shooting you a questioning look as he saw his father carry you away. You were far too tired to care, really, the only thing that mattered now was the fact that Lord Hades himself was laying you on his bed, where he would surely instruct you to pleasure him, now in private. Curling up. you knew you needed some rest if you wanted, like always, to give your very best for the task.
#Hades#hades game#reader insert#reader#reader x hades#hades x reader#hades game reader#reader hades game#breakoutime's post#dirty tag#sexy tag#yes those two are my ns fw tags ok
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soob become human ; c.sb
pairing: android!soobin x police detective!y/n
plot: your job is fairly simple, find out the cause of the recent surges of deviancy in androids. the only problem is that you hate androids, but it’s ok because you have a newly appointed partner and- oh wait he’s an android.
w/c: 6.3K (this took me longer than it should have)
warnings & other: enemies(?) to lovers(?), enemies (?) to less hated enemies, based off detroit become human, lots of swearing, android!soobin, human!y/n, blood, dead people, a crime scene is described but not in too much detail, soobin is definetly not a deviant, y/n hates soobin and pretty much all androids, y/n is kinda an ass to soobin, semi slow burn, open ended
you were seething with rage though you somehow managed to contain it. you wanted to hold it in long enough to really explode when you walked into your boss's office. you tramp past the receptionist in the lobby and don't even smile at her. you never do since she's not even a human. you hate how she's programmed to sit idly with an eerie smile on her face and welcome guests.
"hey y/n!" you hear your friend, hueningkai, shout at you. you wonder how he can be so loud and full of energy after 5 hours of working at his desk but you keep marching on, not acknowledging his greeting.
you have your eyes set out on your boss's office and the fire in your eyes is set alight when you notice him sitting at his desk peacefully. thank god, for the see-through box offices cyberlife installed last year.
he notices your figure striding up angrily towards his office and you see him sigh. good, at least he knows what's he's in for! you march up the stairs with your head held high because you were really about to give him a piece of your mind right now.
you stop just at the edge of his desk and rummage through your crossbody bag for something. it takes you a while which is embarrassing since he just sits there looking at you expectantly. "ah," you pull out a crumpled up piece of paper, which you yourself crumbled up out of anger, and slam it harshly on his desk.
"excuse me but what the fuck is this?"
he glances down at the paper and back up at you with a bored expression. "that's a piece of paper y/n." you chuckle bitterly and place your hands on your hips. "i'm talking about the contents of the paper sir."
you watch him open up the paper gingerly and skim over the words printed. "oh yeah," he crumbles the paper again tossing it into the bin. he sighs heavily getting in his serious work position with his hands crossed in front of him. he's a big burly kind of guy so it always somewhat intimidates you when he does this.
"we're getting weekly reports of androids going haywire. everyday i've gotta deal with a new report. i'm not talking the usual malfunction and spilling coffee. this is homicides and assaults. just last night a woman was murdered in cold blood by her android. this isn't cyberlife's problem anymore, these are criminals now."
you stay quiet, taking in what he's saying. "regarding the contents of the paper, i want you to investigate them." you clench your fists and narrow your eyes at him. "why me?" you burst after a moment of letting your anger rise again. you realize you sound like a child whose just gotten told they have to dishes while their sibling goofs off but you don't care.
"i'm the least qualified person to handle these cases plus i've got other shit to worry about! i don't want to deal with those pieces of junk!"
the chief office stands up, eyeing you sternly. now you've done it. "y/n don't piss me off. you know you're the most qualified so don't start with that bullshit. i don't wanna hear any complaints out of you." he doesn't raise his voice and that kind of alarms you but you press on.
"no! you know that no one else in this goddamn precinct wants to deal with these androids so of course, you left me to pick up the dog shit!"
"watch your tone detective," he seethes. he sighs heavily trying to regain himself before he really bursts a vessel. he cozies back into his desk chair and rubs his temples. you, on the other hand, are breathing heavily and pacing back and forth. you can't believe he would put you on an android case of all things.
you were seriously being relieved of all other duties to investigate a bunch of ones and zeros. but that wasn't even the best part.
"i'm assigning you a partner to assist you in the investigation."
you stop in your tracks, eyes widening. "hell fucking no!" you rage. you march back up to his desk and lean over the edge. "chief i always ride solo. ever since i joined i've always been alone and have been doing just fine! i don't need help!"
"y/n i think i've had enough of your bitching and whining. i don't care that you're the best worker in this fucking precinct. if you don't like the circumstances you can hand in your badge right this instant. otherwise, shut your fucking mouth and get back to work," he says through gritted teeth.
you scoff in his face and as you walk out of his office you flip him off. "that's going on your track record detective!" he says matter of factly.
"shove it up yo-"
you sigh as you enter your office. "fuuuuuuuck," you groan. you look around and notice that there's a tiny replica of your desk on the other side of your office. you can only assume it's meant for your partner. the sudden urge to destroy it and throw everything across the room crosses your mind but you decide against it.
having a partner assigned to you was a jab at your pride. everyone knew you as the detective who never needed one, the lone wolf if you will. if anyone saw you being assisted they would immediately think that the position of "best officer" was up for grabs, when it wasn't.
you didn't wanna be that person but of course, you held that title over everyone's head.
you huff, throwing yourself onto your chair which causes it to spin around. you don't even know this supposed partner of yours. most likely for a good reason too. you can only imagine your reaction if the chief had presented your new partner right then and there. a firm knock on your door startles you, "come in," you mumble. you're really not in the mood to entertain any of your work friends so you hope this is quick.
you look at the figure standing idly by the frame of the door. he's tall with a three-piece suit on. he's oddly handsome with little to no flaws which is suspicious to you. his hair is dark with hints of blue peeking out and it's pushed back to show his forehead. the stark contrast of his dark hair and fair skin makes him look very pale and almost sick. he has some files in his hands and his face is stoic, almost emotionless but not stern. he looks boyish.
what you don't notice is the ring of light located on his temple since it blends in so well with his skin. "how many times do i have to tell people that complaints are sent next door to hueningkai, god i really need to get a sign or some shit," you groan rubbing your face in frustration. you lower your hands and the person is still there.
"hello, my name is choi soobin. i'm the android sent by cyberlife to assist you with your detective duties," he states monotonously as if he's reading from a script.
the gears in your head churn for a while but once the words process you groan once again and roll your eyes to the back of your head, "why am i not surprised that chief would fuck me over even more like this. of course my partner is a fucking andriod." soobin steps completely into your office shutting the door behind him. "are you y/n?" he asks politely.
"un-fucking-fortunately."
"nice to meet you!" he seemingly ignores your sarcastic comment and your wonder if he even knows what sarcasm is. "i hope we can be good partners. i have already received the files on our first case together, here they are," he places the files on your desk and you can only look up at him in disgust.
"well you're a well-trained dog arent you?" you mumble. "y/n with all due respect i am not a dog. im an android designed by cyberlife to merely assist with certain tasks and finish my mission. i'm one of the most advanced of my kind." you look at the tag on his suit: KR900. you sigh, nodding, "got it got it, now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my daily nap so scram."
you lean back in your chair and close your eyes. man, if soobin was gonna be your partner you'd have to extend nap time by at least 30 minutes. you wonder if you can get away with adding another hour to your naptime.
you hear someone clearing their throat beside you. you hope that if you keep your eyes closed they'll get the hint to leave you alone. after about a minute the person speaks up, "y/n we should probably start with the case as soon as possible." great, soobin.
you open your eyes to glare at him. "listen, soobin? was it? go fuck yourself ok?" you close your eyes again and fold your arms over your chest. god, soobin's already being a nuisance. you're not sure if whatever this is is going to work out.
he stays silent for a moment and you wonder if he can feel the feeling of frustration. you hope he can because he might be able to get a sense of how you felt towards this whole situation. you start to drift when you feel an odd warmth radiating on the side of your face.
"with all due respect detective. i've been assigned to this mission and i intend to carry it out and complete it to the very end. i'm not going to sit around and wait for you to simply 'feel like it'."
your eyes fly open and you stare at him bewilderedly. he's very close to your face and his expression is stony but of course, he still has that boyish look.
you stand up, frowning at him. "let's get one thing very straight, tin can." you shove your finger into his chest which strangely doesn't feel too much like hard metal. "i call the shots around here so i won't be taking orders from a walking computer. i don't give a damn if you're leagues smarter than me, piss me off one more time and i won't hesitate to deactivate you myself."
you step away from him and he doesn't seem affected. he simply brushes his suit off. you scoff, grabbing your keys from your desk. "by the way i already know where the crime scene is so try to catch up next time, puppy."
when you both arrive at the crime scene there's already a plethora of police with their hound dogs and the yellow barricade tape is being set up. this must've been a pretty brutal scene for there to be this many people dispatched to this location. you're not surprised that there's people here and there trying to get a sneak peek at what might've happened.
"y/n! y/n!" you hear someone frantically yelling out your name.
you look around and see yeonjun, another police detective who's not from your unit, running up to you. he engulfs you into a bear hug, letting his trenchcoat pick up from the wind. you smile for what feels like the first time today, "hey yeonjun." once upon a time you liked choi yeonjun, you still do in a way. he was always on top of his game which you admired and you two would always compete when it came to cases. he was unbelievably smart so he probably knew about your little crush on him. if he did, he never addressed it and still treated you like a close friend.
"it's weird seeing you at the scene so early, we're just finishing setting up the yellow tape," he smiles at you but you can see his confusion. you were known to be late to these scenes but somehow still did well and always cracked the case. you didn't like to be around all the other police and detectives when you were in the zone.
"chief assigned me a new partner who insisted i arrive accordingly," you roll your eyes playfully to mask the annoyance. you don't bother to introduce soobin, who had been standing behind you silently this whole time, because he introduces himself. "hello, my name is choi soobin. i'm the android sent by cyberlife to assist y/n with their detective duties," he says monotonously.
yeonjun stares at soobin with an impressed look, "woah, chief got you a robot? he must love you" he jokes. "love me? this is a shit way of showing it," you mumble.
"y/n ever the comedian," yeonjun laughs deeply. you smile shyly at him. "i guess..anyways what's the scene looking like?" yeonjun leans back on the barricade looking back at the house you have yet to enter.
"looks like another case of deviancy to me," he sucks his teeth in thought. "man these androids are really going haywire these days, killing their owners, assaulting them, or just simply running off. seems like some kind of uprising? the machines seem to be rebelling," he glances at soobin who is already looking at him.
yeonjun chuckles lowly and leans down towards your ear subtly. "be careful ok?" he leans back up and stretches his arms. "trust me i know," you mutter. you both smile at each other and he winks at you. "well i'm off to do my own sleuthing! let me know if you find anything, you always do after all."
you watch him jog off and sigh to yourself. you turn to soobin, "right, let's get on with it." before he can take another step forward you stop him in his tracks. "and don't get in my way." soobin nods but stays silent. "i'm gonna need a verbal answer," you really don't care if he answers you or not you just want to annoy him. "i will do what i need to, to complete my mission," he looks at you with a weird glint in his eye and you kinda hate him even more now.
you roll your eyes and walk through the door of the house you're meant to be investigating. the smell of booze and musk smacks you in the face and you have to physically hold back the bile rising up your throat. "
"man whoever lived here was a pig!" you gag. you look back at soobin who has a neutral but curious face. "right you can't actually smell things," you mumble. you grab the collar of your jacket and cover the bottom half of your face with it.
as you walk deeper into the house you start to really see what went down. glass covers pretty much the entirety of the floor from a window near the tv. the tv is busted and there's writings on the wall. you look around the living room and that's actually when you discover the body.
it seems to have been there for a couple of days now since there's maggots hovering over it. the man's face is beaten badly and blood runs down it onto his tattered shirt. he's slumped over and there's blood on the wall that states 'we are alive'.
"jesus christ," you mumble to no one in particular. you watch soobin hunch over the body and dip his finger into the blood on the wall near it. he's about to bring it near his mouth but you stop him. "god what the fuck are you doing!" you think the bile you were holding back is really about to come out and you're scared you'll ruin the crime scene.
he looks back at you with an unreadable expression. "im analyzing the blood." he turns his back to you again takes a lap of the blood. "you're fucking gross," you chastise.
"the blood is from the victim," he finalizes. "damn his android must've really wanted to make a statement here. 'we are alive'? what do you think that means?" you ask him.
soobin stands up straight again, looking around the flat, "deviancy of course. judging by the looks of it, this wasn't a very habitable place. the android must've gotten fed up and rebelled against its owner." he thinks to himself. "this shouldn't be happening, it must be some kind of virus because androids were only meant to serve, they shouldn't have to capability to harm much less kill."
you sigh, already hating where this case and the mission overall is going. "let's just look around for clues. i doubt the android could've gotten far, it must feel guilty or something."
soobin shakes his head, "androids don't feel y/n." you raise your brow at his statement, "one does not simply kill another being without feeling. an emotion or feeling of some sort is triggered which causes someone to act out in this way."
you walk away to the kitchen to look for clues there but soobin just stands there watching you. he frowns but joins you minutes later.
after about a half hour of looking for any clues, you've managed to gain a lot of evidence with soobin's help. there had been a struggle in the kitchen which led to the living room where the place of death was determined. soobin described the altercation as very brutal for both parties.
"so where's the android?" you ask after his explanation. "it's near," he mumbles. he surveys the room once again and spots something. you watch him do the same procedure he had done with the victim's blood. "there's nothing there," you say skeptically.
"it's android blood, or blue blood as you humans call it. not visible to the human eye but any android can spot it from a mile away."
when he's done he looks around once again and follows a sort of trail. he stops near the attic door and sighs. he pulls it open with caution and you can only wonder what he's up to.
he peeks in then hoists himself up into it. "wha-" "stay here," he demands. "hey what did i sa-"
before you can scold him he's already in the attic and slammed the door in your face. "didn't know androids had a prick feature," you mutter.
after 5 minutes you start to hear noises of struggling and things falling over. "soobin?" you shout. "what's going on up there?" you don't actually care if he's ok or not but one scratch on him and you'll be paying the damages.
he doesn't answer, instead, the struggling comes to a halt. you jump as he slams open the attic door. you give him a once over and it doesn't look like he has any scratches on him so you sigh to yourself gratefully. looking down you see an android wriggling in handcuffs, you assume it's the murderer. "i got him," soobin huffs.
"y/n? you in h- woah," yeonjun breathes out. he looks over the both of you then at the android on the ground near soobin. "damn." you nod, agreeing with his one-word statement. soobin folds his arms looking down at the android. the android is rightfully glaring back up at him. "he was hiding up there, probably thought no one would find him. well, no human would've at least."
"we should take it back to the station for questioning. the more info we get out of it, the closer we are to figuring out the cause of this 'deviancy'," yeonjun concludes. you nod, turning to soobin, "good job puppy." he makes a face but accepts your praise either way.
after finalizing your first deviant case, you decided to ask yeonjun out for burgers two days later as a celebratory measure. he had told you he was going to be busy filing some other cases so you opted for going alone. alone is not entirely true since soobin was required to be around you at pretty much all times.
"stay in the car," you ordered. "not happening. im required to assist you at all times," he states matter of factly. you lean your head on the steering wheel. "god you are so up my ass it's annoying."
"listen if i say do something you do it. you're an android so you follow my orders got that?" you narrow your eyes at him as if to challenge him. he simply looks back at you with that boyish curious look and says nothing.
you hate how he looks like a puppy who knows you're hiding a treat behind your back.
you sigh, getting out of the already parked car. you slam the door roughly in what you hope to be soobin's face to make a point but you hear a door close right after yours. you turn around to see soobin standing outside of the passenger's side where he was seated.
"oh fuck off!" you shout exasperatedly.
you stomp over to the burger cart and shove past someone who's already there. "hey watch it!" they shout. "shut up im a cop," you bite back. you don't even bother turning around to the person because you could care less but their voice comes back. "y/n?"
you perk up at your name and turn around, "oh shit frankie!" your smile grows and you hold your hand out for a handshake but frankie goes in for an uncomfortable hug that you weren't expecting. you laugh nervously as he hugs you for longer than intended. he reeks of red dust, a newly manufactured drug in town. the only recognize it is because, well, you've tried it.
"hahah ooook franks," you try to wriggle from his tight hold on you but he doesn't budge. "i slipped a little something for you sweet cheeks," he murmurs into your ear. you shiver from the sudden close proximity but nod nonetheless.
"is there a problem here?" soobin states. he easily towers over frankie since taking drugs for a long time has ruined frankie's growth spurt. he's by no means short however soobin is winning in height by a long shot.
frankie chuckles lowly, "we're fine robocop." he rolls his eyes at soobin and turns back to you, "so anyw-"
"y/n we should be on our way," soobin narrows his eyes at you and you don't take it as a question. you're not scared of soobin however he's pretty much unmatched when it comes down to it.
"right," you say slowly. you glance between frankie and soobin and they both seem to be in a bit of a staring contest. "come on puppy," you nudge him.
"have a nice day," soobin says firmly. "whatever, damn androids," you hear frankie mumble. you sigh as you both reach a stray table near the truck. you open the wrapper, uninterested in everything else at the moment until soobin clears his throat.
"drugs?"
"what about them?" you mumble through a mouthful of burger. "you just got drugs from that guy," soobin leans on the table staring at you directly in the eye. you sigh dramatically, throwing your hamburger back into the wrapper. "leave me alone ok? if you're gonna lecture me i can assure you, i don't want it."
you pick your burger up again hoping that soobin will just shut the fuck up for the rest of the day. he really has a way of putting you in a sour mood. you wonder for a moment how long you'll have to be working with him. if you can just figure out the cause of deviancy then this little arrangement will be over before you know it.
from that point on, soobin simply watches you eat. it's a bit uncomfortable, to say the least, but at least he's silent. you want to question him as to why he's watching you so intently but you also don't feel like chatting with him. "did you ever expect to be living among androids y/n?" soobin speaks up after a while. you smirk at his question, "you're living among us, ok? and no, i never saw it coming." you feel bitter about his question.
of course, you never expected it. you never thought you'd see the day where an android is running the hotdog stand down the street. you never expected a robot to be doing your job. "you fucking androids are a curse," you mumble. soobin says nothing at that.
the ringing of your phone cuts through your little moment. you sigh, rummaging through your pocket for it. groaning, you reluctantly answer the call. "what's up boss."
after a couple minutes of briefing, you hang up. soobin looks at you expectantly while you throw out your trash. "we got another one, pretty close to where we are. no one else is on duty near us so we'll be on our own for this one."
you brush past him, walking back to the car, "think you can handle it puppy?" you don't expect him to answer but you're surprised when he retorts with his own witty remark.
"i'm practically designed too."
you stifle a laugh, shaking your head, "alright alright let's go."
once you arrive at the apartment complex where the deviant is supposedly located, you stop soobin right at the door. you stare up at him with a stern look in your eye, "remember what i said, no getting in my way and no telling me what to do. remember that i'm also your superior."
a part of you feels like you don't necessarily have to tell him these things since he probably stored that information from the first case. however, you want to feel power over him. you don't care if soobin is an android, you'd be damned if he felt like he was superior to you just because you were a human and he was a robot.
"i will do what is needed for me to complete my mission," he states. you roll your eyes at the answer he opts for but nonetheless continue onward. "we gotta be careful here, we don't actually know if the deviant is armed."
"you got sent any info on the guy?" you ask. soobin sighs, "the only thing we know about him is that he's a deviant. the people living on the floor below claimed they were hearing strange noises but supposedly no one has lived here for years."
you chuckle to yourself, "yeah it sure looks like it." you look around, taking in the beat-up state of the hallway. it's dimly lit and the walls are tattered and torn. there are boarded-up doors and the floor almost looked like it would give in with anymore added weight. yeah, there definitely hadn't been anyone inhabiting this floor in a while.
you lean on the door frame as you watch soobin knock on the door as a normal would but no one answers. "is anyone in there?" he shouts. you both wait for a moment but again no one answers. you sigh, shaking your head. "move."
soobin steps out of your way hastily and moves to stand behind you. you swiftly take your gun from it's holster on your hip and shoot the door handle. the handle flies off and just like that the door creeks open. you'll admit there might've been a more suave way of doing it that didn't involve much noise, however you wanted to get this over with.
you motion for soobin to trail after you into the apartment. you both slowly inch into the flat and you peek your head in to check if anyone is inside. when you confirm there's no one in the apartment you both walk in cautiously. the place is completely torn apart. there are bird feathers all over the place and the walls have odd writings on them. you sigh walking up to one of the walls, "we are alive."
soobin shakes his head but says nothing. "let's check the other rooms in this place," you propose. you both split up to look for clues about the deviant which gives you time to think.
soobin goes to snoop around in the closet while you head to the bathroom of the apartment. the sink is riddled with bird feathers and bird shit. you hold your breath as you look around the small room. the place definitely hasn't been kept up by anyone in a long time. "ra9?" you mumble. you lean closer to the wall to inspect the odd writing. it's not just written once or twice, it's scattered all over the wall. "what the fuck does that even mean."
before you can even begin to infer, soobin walks into the bathroom. "i think i found something." you sigh looking up at him, "what is it."
he leads you back into the living room and points to a birdcage on the floor. "this must be what caused that noise that the people on the other floor sent complaints about." he paces around the room for a moment. "i should be able to reconstruct what may have happened, that way we can know where the deviant went."
you watch silently as he walks back to the birdcage. he stays still for a moment then proceeds to look around the room in all directions. "see anything?" you ask.
he doesn't answer, much like last time he simply stands up and walks towards an opening in the roof. soobin slowly reaches his hand up to it but someone jumps out at him.
soobin is effectively knocked to the ground and you stand there shocked. you were really not expecting anyone to be up there. you shout in alarm and the deviant is alerted instantly. before you can reach your gun, the deviant haphazardly pulls a gun of its own from is pocket.
it's clearly not skilled in holding a gun since androids aren't allowed to bear arms. you can tell it's not sure where to shoot and it's scared. you can feel the cold metal of your gun graze your fingers but you stay still as you hear a gunshot pierce the air.
your eyes widen as they follow the deviant run out of the apartment. "SOOBIN GO," you shout. you're not sure why you're telling him to chase after it when you can do it yourself but you feel like you can't move. you suddenly feel yourself collapse on the ground, letting out a strangled yell. "FUCK!"
"Y/N?" you hear soobin shout. for some reason everything is hazy and all you're hearing is white noise. you think you yell at soobin to chase after the deviant again but even in your hazy state, you can't quite tell. after a couple more seconds of struggling to comprehend what's going on, you finally pass out.
you shift around, looking for a comfortable position on the couch. you're not sure why you're on a couch but you're not complaining. it feels like forever since you've felt like you've had a chance to rest for a moment. you're starting to really get sick and tired of androids. before all of this, all you did was either sit on your ass all day or go around helping the elderly or bust your local neighborhood scum. you seriously couldn't believe how much your life could change in just the span of a couple of days.
speaking of change, soobin was going to have to go. he's a pretty capable partner however, you both clashed too much. granted you haven't given him much of a chance. you just hated the concept of having a partner, much less an android partner.
you suddenly feel something cold press onto your leg. you hiss out in pain but when you try to move your leg the pain gets worse. "you shouldn't move," you hear a voice say. you furrow your brows because you're sure you live alone.
you peel your eyes open and see what looks to be soobin standing over you. "soobin?" after the name registers in your head your eyes widen and you try to sit up but the pain in your leg keeps you in place, "what the fuck are you doing in my house?"
soobin calmly takes a seat on the seat opposite from you. you study his body language and face. if you didn't know any better you say he seems a bit distressed. you want to laugh at yourself for thinking that because there's no way an android can know what distress feels like. he seriously looks like he's racking his brain to figure out what to say first.
"you got shot," he opts for. your mouth falls open, looking down at your leg. almost as if on cue, you start to feel immense pain shoot through your body. "fuck fuck fuck!" you yell. soobin rushes up to press the ice pack down on the bandaged wound.
"don't fucking touch me!" you yell at him. he flinches back but you don't notice because you're too busy trying to dissolve the pain. you breathe in and out. you wouldn't say you've never gotten shot before but no bullet has ever successfully hit you. you've only been grazed here and there but it was rare since no one is allowed to really carry guns besides cops.
after doing your breathing exercise for a couple of minutes, you finally bite back the pain. "what happened to the android?" you grit out. you hope getting shot was worth it, you hope the bastard that shot you in rusting in his cell. soobin sighs, "we lost it. it's completely my fault. i should've chased after it."
"you didn't chase after it?" you're not sure if you sound surprised or angry but soobin looks up at you like a scolded puppy. the alarms in your brain are blaring right now. why did soobin ignore the mission? he was supposedly always supposed to complete his mission no matter what. surely he didn't ignore the mission simply because you collapsed from a leg shot. you think about the subtle warning yeonjun gave you back when you had your first deviant case.
"seems like some kind of uprising? the machines seem to be rebelling."
soobin isn't- he's not a deviant is he? you can't really remember if he's been defective this whole time or if he's the best actor you ever met. you look up at him suspiciously and he shifts his gaze subtly when you make eye contact.
"it's been 4 days since your injury. yeonjun came by a couple of times to check up on you," you see his fists tighten at that. something may have happened between them while you were out. you know yeonjun can be a bit overprotective over you at times, even when he knew the job was dangerous.
"the chief says its best to lay low for a couple of days until you get better so that's what we're doing," he continues. you stay quiet. you're not exactly sure what to say. you don't know if calling him out will anger him or something.
you both stay quiet for so long that you start to think soobin may have gone into hibernation mode or something but when you look up at him he's staring directly at you. you sigh, "what is it this time puppy."
he stares at you for a little while longer before answering, "why don't you like androids?" you should've known this question would come up but damn why'd he have to ask it right now. why do you hate androids? one just shot at you a couple of days ago and left you unable to work.
"it's' because you're all nuisances," you mumble. he looks down at his hands and you have to remind yourself that if you're right, he somehow has feelings now.
you groan, "you all are supposed to be perfect! better versions of us humans! i guess you just fail when we put too much trust in you." you sigh, you don't expect soobin to understand since you're being too vague.
he sits, waiting patiently for you to continue. "someone close to me passed away a long time ago. i don't really expect you to understand what grief is," you chuckle bitterly. you look around the room in silence. you don't really want to cry right now so you take a deep breath.
"the doctor was out, probably fucking around i don't know. they had an android do the job. they didn't make it because the android failed to do it's task." you shake your head. "yeonjun was there for me at the time, which im grateful for. i probably would've singlehandedly destroyed all androids myself if he wasn't there."
soobin looks at you with that same curious boyish look and it makes you want to hit him. he's so annoying even when he's not doing anything. "y/n im sorry," he says.
"yeah you should be. the deviant got away because of you," you mumble. you both sit in silence again until you decide to speak up again. something in you wants to thank him for not leaving you behind but you also don't want to break character.
this is too new to you. you've never really had a partner, only ever going out into the field with yeonjun. even then, whenever either of you got hurt it was never as awkward as this. you sigh, "at least you didn't leave me behind." is the best you can come up with.
soobin looks up at you again with a hopeful look in his eyes and it makes you hate how alive he looks. if he was really a deviant you'd have to tread lightly with him. you're not sure if he's plotting against you or what his goal is but you've gotta start being more careful around him.
"y/n i look forward to working with you more," he says lightly.
for now though, for now, this will have to do.
#choi soobin#soobin#soobin imagines#fluff#soobin reactions#soobin drabbles#soobin drabble#soobin fluff#txt imagines#drabble#tomorrow x together imagines#txt headcannons#soobin headcannons#txt reactions#txt scenarios#soobin timestamps#soobin fic#soobin x reader
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Chapter 33: Robert*
Robert* reminds me of Peter*, in which, there’s confusion about names, the vibes are never quite right, and the date is pretty short. Though in this case, although we did talk for a longer time than Peter* and I did, the date itself was even shorter, a whopping 45 minutes.
Initially, Robert* likes me first on Hinge. His profile is not necessarily a slam dunk for me. He looks decent looking, though not my usual type, and has a chain bakery listed as to where he works. I like to think I am not a snob when it comes to careers, I’m pretty open-minded, but I do want to be with someone who has ambition and can have intelligent conversations with me since I am pretty well educated. Basically, someone around my level of thinking.
I decided to give the guy a chance and respond to his like by mentioning that I really like cookies at the place he works. He mentions that we could have a first date there and I responded by asking if he has dates with girls at his work often. He tells me he has only been working there a few weeks, so no. We legitimately talk about the different kinds of cookies for a while, then he moves on to ask me about what else I like. I mention my dog, then share that I space out and have trouble thinking on the spot and ask him about himself to see if it will also remind me of other things I like. He talks about seeing friends and playing video games, adds he “Doesn’t get out much.” Without missing a beat, he asks me what I’m looking for on dating apps. The dreaded question. I ask him to tell me first. My reasoning being, I feel like many men will cater their answers to what you want, instead of telling the truth. He writes me a long answer then gives me a TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) that is maybe ⅔ the length of the original message, so not that short, that says ��going with the flow, down for a consistent [friends with benefits] or relationship, whatever happens, just not a one-night stand.” He announces it is then my turn to respond. I tell him I feel more or less the same, as his original longer message, but that I am not as much interested in the friends with benefits thing. Specifically, I say that with FWB, there needs to be an opportunity, or “nahhh.” I say that expectations only bring hardship and lightheartedly say I like to ask super important questions early in relationships, i.e. like my survey/application from way back when, and add “like cookie choices.” He asks me to clarify my opportunity or nahhh and says he is an open book and I can ask him anything. I explain my feelings more, saying that I don’t see the point of sticking around if someone is dead set on not wanting a relationship with me, as well as it is usually temporary and almost like a holding pattern. I ask my most important question, which is if someone wants children or not.
I get a slight argument back from him, regarding the FWB thing, saying that it can turn into more. I argue back, saying that it is still something that needs to be wanted, or at least both parties from the start can think “maybe someday.” He says this and that about the FWB, before answering my question. He says, more or less, he is open to it but it isn’t a necessity for him, however, he definitely doesn’t want kids right now. He asks me how I feel about it and I express I do not want them but would be open to adoption. He says that’s fine with him and quickly says, “Any other questions.” I am not meaning for this to be an interview. I say I do have a question, but that it is more of an open-ended/ statement that can be responded to. All I say for my “question” is the phrase “trump.” I also let him know I am going to sleep soon so we can continue our conversation in the morning. He does not like my question, that is that he says it is too vague and isn’t helpful for political discussions. I tell him that is my point, and that I am looking for him to express his feelings and that I can either oppose, agree, or somewhere in between. He says likely there would be all three. I go to sleep so I do not respond.
He greets me in the morning with a good morning. I greet him back, though I remind him I am still waiting on his opinions. It is a Saturday, so I also let him know I am about to present for a Zoom conference. He says he’s at a rowing camp and on a break from that, then asks me about my conference. He again requests that I be more specific than just “Saying one word.” I tell him about the conference, but regarding the political question, I send an eye-rolling emoji again saying that that is the point of the open forum, that I am looking for a blanket statement of his feelings regarding Trump.
He again asks about my presentation, and how it went, then goes on to give a pretty neutral debate, saying there’s good and bad, though it seems he veers more towards being a Trump fan, which is not my preference. Robert* offers to me that I can ask any questions about his stance. I am thinking, I do not need an invitation, I have a question and I will ask it.
Robert* inquires what I am doing the rest of the night. I say I’m staying in as I am going to Disney World the next day. I ask him what he is going to do the rest of the night, as that is the societally polite thing to do. I am asked AGAIN if I have any questions to ask him. He also says that he “wanted to do something with someone tonight. Chill night in maybe? Not necessarily sexual. Just relaxing, drinking some wine maybe.” My response is “haha sorry i don’t think i’ll be ‘someone’ today,” both calling him out on obviously being thirsty, as well and reiterating I am not planning on going out tonight. He admits defeat, saying that he didn’t think I would be either, but it was “worth a shot to ask.” However, he does say he does want to get together sometime.
Immediately before I can even respond to that, though, he asks me where in Disney I am going tomorrow. I tell him that Monday I could look at my schedule and put together a time and day we could meet up. I also express that I do not want to meet him at either of our places, mostly because of the stunt he had just pulled. I tell him my Disney World plans as well. He says that it is fine to talk about going out on Monday and says that “that would’ve been the plan” to not hang out at either of our places, despite what he had just said earlier about having a chill night in. I call him out on this, reminding him that he had just said something different, his response being, “yes, sorry if that made you uncomfortable. Im horny as all hell but my intentions are good and i can keep it in my pants. I promise.” How romantic. I send a laughing emoji and say that we’ve all been there before. He says he didn’t want to cross the “TMI threshold,” wherein I say that it is difficult to TMI me, but that doesn't mean I won’t be judgemental. His next comment is awkward, as he invites me to judge, but says that he’s “done [his] fair share of crazy/dumb/slutty shit. As [he is] sure [I] have too.” Weird to accuse someone you are trying to woo of being a crazy dumb slut, but okay. I bring up that I had an abusive relationship but that even in that, I wasn’t completely devoid of wrongdoing. He asks if I am comfortable talking about that and is sympathetic. I tell him more about that and he asks for some of the red flags my ex but off that I ignored. For the billionth time, Robert* offers that if I have any more important questions that I can go ahead and ask. I briefly acknowledge he asked again, by saying “lol if they come up organically I’ll ask” before continuing to talk about my abusive ex. One of the things I mentioned was that my ex was very critical about my body habitus, that is, that I was too skinny. Robert* takes it upon himself to say, “ as far as your body, it seems like you have a great fucking body…. As long as you’re not unhealthy idgaf im attracted to you sooooo” then sends two heart-eyed emojis and a shrugging guy emoji. The line he draws is that his “hands are rated E for everyone,” the context being, if someone hit him he would hit back. I explained my body issues some more and that I have stomach issues, and have always been a small person. He misunderstands and thinks I’m talking about having abs or having a fatty stomach. With the context I felt I had given, I sent a bunch of question marks before adding that my stomach issues were internal. He apologizes a lot for misunderstanding and says he is glad I’m in a better situation.
In his mind, it’s now a great time to bring up that we should text or snap. I tell him that Snapchat is “for hoes” if you only talk on Snapchat. Referencing to myself Darren* mostly. He sends me his number and then I text him. The next day, I am off having a day with my friend at an amusement park. He texts me often throughout the day and I respond when I have a chance. My best friend is asking me “who is this one?” and by the time she asks this, I’m honestly getting a little annoyed. She’s still asking about John* and where he is at. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. We’re mad at him right now. He is doing that shit again. I have to play the game, you know?” I describe Robert* as being kind of needy. At one point, Robert* is texting and asking desperately when I’m free and when we can go out. I tell him “I’m still out I’m not focused on that right now” The overeagerness is kind of a turn-off. And as mentioned earlier, we had already agreed to plan things out on Monday, and it was Sunday. He responds “Ok nvm. We don’t have to talk about that. Sorry.” Maybe I was harsh but had to put this guy in his place. I get a barrage of questions about Disney World. I mention I’m wearing my hat like a frat boy. He responds jokingly, “disgusting, how dare you.” I continue the charade by saying “yep I haze the shit out of people.” Next, however, his response is too cringey, “Mmmm haze me frat mandy” and adds “I can go more cringe.” I reply, “no thanks.” I ignore him for the rest of the day and then when I get home I finally tell him 1) I’m home and 2) what days I’m available. He gets irritated as the two nights I am available, are the only nights he is working. I have some friends coming into town the next weekend as well, so I tell him I’m not really available since I want to hang out with them. We go back and forth on what to do then with our conflicting schedules. Finally, we agree upon doing something after my work, but before his work on one of the days, giving us a tight segment of time but that should be enough for more or less a meet and greet. Because he is the one that will have somewhere to go, I tell him that he’s in charge of the planning and logistics because I wanted to make sure he had enough time to get to work.
We chat superficially in the meantime, mostly about video games and a little about past relationships. And of course… more inviting me to ask questions again. He puts me on the spot regarding the date and is trying to make me plan. I put the responsibility back on him. Finally, he suggests a place he had been wanting to try, that is more or less like a juice bar that also does protein shakes, kind of a health shop. Not really my kind of place, but I’m making him do all the planning so I won’t argue. We both independently go on a search for menus/information. He makes a comment regarding finding the menu but no prices. He randomly comments while we are chatting about the place “have i ever said that youre really fucking cute,” to which I just respond “not like in those exact words.” He adds “but yea you are. I humbly brag, “thanks! I know this about myself.” Typical male response is, presumably joking, “ok you’re too cocky” “youre ugly” “gotta bring you down a peg.” To this I just say, “it’s called confidence/not being insecure.” He switches things around saying “i know confidence is sexy.”
I don’t respond to this and get a good morning text the next day and he makes small talk about how we slept and such. It is the day that I have a date with Timmy*, but of course Robert* doesn’t know this. He at one point texts me saying that his morning got really shitty. I ask him what’s wrong and all he says is “I’ll tell you about it later.” I wonder why people do this, like why bring it up if you aren’t gonna talk about it now? It all seems like a sort of test. I do not play these games. All I say in response is “ok.” He adds “if I don’t text you about it remind me.” I don’t respond. He texts me again asking how my work is going an hour-ish later. I say it’s hectic and he asks if I’m on lunch. I send him a message about not getting full lunch breaks. I don’t hear from him for almost five hours, and given his text earlier about his bad day, I figured something could be wrong given how clingy via text he usually is. I finally text him and ask if he is ok. He says he took a nap and asked again about work, making a point that it was better than his day. Enough of the baiting, I finally say snarkily, “yeah you still have to tell me [what happened.” He is hyping it up now, saying “fair warning - its sad” I don’t respond because I figure he would still go on and tell me what happens and it didn’t warrant a response, but then he adds “if you still want to know” a few minutes later. I honestly don’t care too much, “if you want to tell me.” He finally does tell me what happened, and essentially he saw a dog be hit by a car and had tried to help it with someone else who saw the hit but the dog, unfortunately, didn’t make it. I commend him on trying to help and he says that he did the right thing and that’s why his day sucked. I don’t really know how to respond to that, plus at this point, I am getting ready for my date.
I lie to him when he asks me about my night, saying that I am chilling. More small talk to my disgust, and I verify our plans for the next day. He makes a comment about not being able to see the prices anywhere. This seems to be a worry of his for whatever reason, so I tell him that we can do something else and that I am flexible. He is of no help, as all he says about this is “idk what else we’d do.” My response is “ok” and I say I’m going to bed. In the morning it is finally the day of our date and I let him know that unfortunately I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me to work, so I’ll be wearing my work outfit tonight. He makes a comment about how he’s never seen a cute girl not look good in scrubs, and I let him know that today is the day that changes.
During the day, he states he is thinking of driving by to check the prices of the drinks and that he’s also got a back up. I tell him he should do whatever he wants. I look the places up and they are about 25 minutes away from my work. I head on that way once my work is done and I arrive first. I wait in my car until he texts me to ask which car is mine. I get out of my car and grab my things, now realizing I parked next to a puddle of water and got my shoes a little wet. I laugh it off and say oh well. I see who I presume to be him getting out of a car on the other side of the parking lot. He’s wearing a light pink hoodie, a little different but hey, real men wear pink, right?
I approach him and say hello and give him a hug. We get our masks on and walk into the store. Immediately we are greeted by who I can only assume is the owner of the shop. He is bright and happy and gives us his spiel about the type of beverages they have there. Robert* is being very quiet and is very short with the worker, saying he doesn’t know what he wants and I should go first. I try to describe what I’m going for, and the worker says the exact thing on the menu I want is unavailable due to a delayed shipment, but suggests something else to me and I accept with recommendation. I am done ordering apparently too quickly, as my date is still undecided. The owner ends up just asking him if he likes snickers, the candy bar, and he gives a not-very-believable “Yeah” so the owner suggests to him a shake that is based on those flavor patterns. Robert* is asked if we’re paying together and I look to him, he lets out an apathetic, “sure” and it takes all of my energy not to scoff. The owner tells us that they’re giving discounts out if you advertise the location by sharing a photo on social media and I agree to do so, because why not.
Then it gets a little uncomfortable. The owner is trying to be extra personable and make it a personalized experience, so upon receiving Robert*’s card, he starts referring to him using his name that is on his card. The only thing is, the name I know him by is not the name on the card, nor any fort of that name, like a typical nickname. Under my face mask, I smile and almost laugh to myself like, you dumb bitch who are you even out with rihgt now. Additional peer pressure from the owner also leads to us giving him our emails and signing up for their loyalty program, which also knocks off some cents off our drink. When I give him mine, obviously everything is the same, but when he gives his email, his email does have the name that I knew him by in the address, so I figure okay maybe Robert* is a middle name or something. Because we were under one order, there was also some sort of combo discount included as well since he got a shake and, I, a tea.
As we walk away from the counter and take a seat on a couch maybe 10 feet away, Robert* abruptly asks “what do you think the damage is?” Immediately pulling out his phone and checking the receipt of our drinks. “Uh I don’t know…. Sixteen dollars,” I guess. I am honestly put off by his obsession on price. I understand money issues, but it is not appropriate for first date behavior. I am pretty close, as it is somewhere in the mid $15 range. He scoffs at the prices.
Now that we are sitting together, I am noticing really how disheveled and not put together he looks. He has overgrown stubble, too short to be a beard, but definitely not stubble from just the day. His skin all over his face and body is dry and flaky, especially on his ears. Again, I expect a little more from a man who has had days to prepare for this date. I have been sipping my drink for a while, and it is honestly delicious, one of the best beverages I’ve ever had. He asks if I would like to try his drink. “No thank you, I don’t think it would go well with my fruity drink,” I half lie. The major reason why is that I am weird about sharing drinks/food and that so far I am almost repulsed by him and don’t want to share anything with him.
Despite my lack of optimism already, I try my best to be upbeat and give him a chance. I am trying to start a conversation and ask him questions and get to know him more, but he is a brick wall. He’s just staring at me and not saying anything, occasionally taking sips from his shake. Many of his responses are very sarcastic and rude. He actually brings up the ears; he had a very bad sunburn and that’s why they looked like that. Doesn’t explain the rest of his look though, but at least he was aware of that. It is pretty warm in the shop. I already opted to leave my jacket in the car, but at one point he decided to take off his sweatshirt. Underneath was a red shirt with almost like a confetti cake type pattern, of little microscopic dots of different colors throughout. I compliment the shirt, and mention I have one of a similar type of fabric pattern. I am nodded at. I again continue to try and force conversation, but I am still getting nothing.
Randomly he says, “come here” and puts his arm around me, pulling me close. I am extremely confused, as I was getting very negative vibes from him all over. I make my confusion known by commenting about how that was out of nowhere. His only response is, “oh you know.” “No, I do not know. I have no idea what is going on right now.” He only just chuckles and is like “you’re a cute girl.” I furrow my brow in confusion and figure we should get some air and suggest we take a walk. I ran to my car and put the drink in my car as well as my bag, being light, only having my phone and car keys for the walk. We take off and just walk through a nearby neighborhood. We have maybe 10-15 more minutes until he has to get going so he can get to work in time.
Conversation is still moderately forced, but a little better. At one point, we come up to a tree where the branches overhang drastically over the sidewalk. Whereas before I had been walking on the street side, Robert* has swung around and walked into the street, whereas I choose just to duck under the branches, which is easier with me being shorter, although I would not say he is very tall either. I made a comment about not caring and that he could have just “pushed me into the street/out of the way” and continued on, jokingly, about how you have to put a woman in their place. He says “okay noted I see what you like now,” trying to turn it into something sexual, it seems. I pause a moment, becoming much more serious when I say, “you know I’m kidding. I’ve told you about my abusive relationship so obviously I am not a fan of battering women.” In this moment, he pulls me into an embrace and tries to kiss me. I lean away and ask him, “why is talking about abusing women the time to try and kiss me?” He makes an excuse saying that he just really wanted to kiss me. I lie again, making another excuse about why I don’t want to kiss him, “I’m more old fashioned I guess, I’d like to get to know someone a little better and make sure that we are compatible and know each other well before I do anything.” Again, not entirely untrue. For the five hundredth or so time, Robert* says that I can ask him any questions.
I check my watch and declare, accurately, “We should probably head back towards our cars, you need to head out soon.” We walk back to the parking lot, having idle chitter chatter. When we get to my car, it’s perfect timing, as an alarm he had set to make sure he left on time goes off. I start to say our goodbyes and he tells me again that he wants to kiss me. I make a noise that makes my discomfort known, and he says, “well what about a kiss on the cheek?” I say verbatim, “I’ll allow it.” He makes a sarcastic comment, mocking me about “allowing it.” I retorted back saying, “well yeah.” He sticks to his word and only does a cheek kiss, and I’m cringing and can’t wait to wash my face when I get home. Being polite, I ask for him to let me know when he gets to work.
Using my Apple Carplay, I ask my car to text him when I notice he is driving behind me. Though, as all I’m getting is audio, I don’t know exactly what I am texting until I get home later.
(the first two texts of mine are my car texting and not manually)
Immediately, he asks me my feelings about him.
I then offered Venmo him money for my drink, as obviously money was a huge concern for him. He accepts and sends me his Venmo. I sent him the money and let him know so.
And that is that. He doesn’t text me after that.
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And They Were Roommates
A semi-crack fic featuring bi!Reader x female!OC and awkward Harry
Written for #majorharry20k
Disclaimer: I have no idea how washing machines work. I don’t know if this is even plausible. Just go with it. Also, im very bisexual, so I’m not fetishizing it or anything. Just thought I should mention that too. I intended this to be about 1k and it ended up being
Prompts:
1 – “that’s by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done”
3- “our water bill is going to be through the roof after this”
23 – “Great. I’m soaked.”
To Cass: Hi. You don’t know me, and I prefer to stay anonymous (I’m not the butterfly anon I promise). I’ve been following your blog for a while, since you were a 5sos blog, and I love your writing. I do write, but until now I haven’t written for Harry. Your prompts inspired me. I’m so happy you reached 20k, you deserve it. Hope you enjoy <3
“It’s broken.”
“Wha’d’ya mean it’s broken?”
“I mean broken. Doesn’t work. No longer functions. How many definitions do you want.”
Harry shakes his head in disbelief. “How on Earth do you break a washing machine?”
In his disbelief, he misses your and Val’s faces turning red.
“I guess- maybe- we put too many clothes in?” Val stammers. “The landlord will fix it though right? Isn’t it in our lease agreement?”
Harry shakes his head again. “I’m pretty sure we’re responsible for our own broken appliances.”
“That’s a shit deal,” you jump in for the first time. Harry’s eyes land on you. A couple beats pass, enough for it to become almost awkward. His gaze is intense up until the moment he breaks the silence.
“Yeah, well, we weren’t exactly master negotiators when we moved in. The rent was so low we figured it was worth it.”
You’ve heard the story of how Val and Harry became roommates many times from her. How they had been put together for a group project at school, but neither had wanted to meet at their own place, so they ended up always meeting at a coffee shop. How they had become fast friends, meeting up for coffee after the project was over, and opening up to one another about how campus housing had screwed them over. Harry had complained about living with boys, how they were messy, never cleaned up after themselves, ate all his food, and most importantly (and disgustingly) left used condoms everywhere. He had basically been the house cook and maid for the majority of the year.
Val’s roommates, well, they weren’t outwardly homophobic, but it was little jabs at her that added up over time. Cliché comments like ‘you don’t want to date me, do you?’ and things like being okay with being undressed around each other, but getting weird around Val. By midterm first semester, she had been sleeping in your room more times than not. You would have let her move in, but understandably, your roommates weren’t too happy about another body in your already-too-tight room. So, after the first year of housing was over, Val and Harry had pooled funds and with a bit of luck, mixed with the fact that Harry’s stepdad knew a guy, they managed to find a cute little apartment not too far from the school. An apartment that they lived in to this day, three years later.
Although you were over there quite a lot (who wouldn’t prefer an apartment over campus housing?), you and Harry had never really become close. Sure, you two would be in proximity during group outings, but you spent most of your time there in Val’s room, and whenever you were in the kitchen or living room, Harry seemed to be busy in his room. You originally thought he didn’t like you, but when you asked Val about it, she assured you that he liked you just fine, though she acknowledged that he was a bit weird around you sometimes. It only got worse after the time he had accidentally walked in on you and Val.
You and Val had a very close relationship – but you had both agreed you were better off as friends. But friendships can have benefits, can’t they? Besides, the times you hooked up were scarce – only when you were both in between partners, which, admittedly, wasn’t very often for you. The time Harry had caught you was right after you had broken up with your boyfriend after finding out that he had been seeing another girl. You had been angry and frustrated, and in need of some sort of release. Val, who rarely dated, was willing to help out.
You don’t think Harry had seen much, but you had only realized that he had seen something when you heard the bedroom door slam. After that, he had had a hard time meeting your eyes. You couldn’t for the life of you understand why though, he certainly wasn’t a blushing virgin himself. You had been there to see off quite a few of his one-night stands trying to sneak out in the morning.
To be fair, you were also usually there for the same reason, just a different roommate. The difference was instead of sneaking out in the morning, you’d stay for the day. And usually the following night. And sometimes even the night after that. Val had told you that given the amount of times she slept at yours during the first year, you were entitled to stay over whenever you wanted, and Harry didn’t seem to mind. There’d been quite a few times when you’d arrive at their apartment late at night, drunk out of your mind, to borrow some of Val’s clothes while you slept on their couch. The washing machine came in handy, as you could normally throw your clothes from the night before in with one of their loads. That was actually how you and Val discoveredotheruses for the washing machine.
It really had been a complete accident. You and Val had gone to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, but there was still two minutes left on the machine. Instead of leaving and coming back, you and Val elected to just wait it out (because if you left there was no question that you’d forget for the next couple of hours). You sat down in the only chair in the room, so Val decided it was a good idea to hop onto the washing machine itself. Turns out it was a good idea. The second her ass landed, the machine started rattling worse than before and her face contorted into pleasure. You jumped up, for a second thinking she might be in pain, before she used an arm to push you away, signaling that she was okay.
“What’s going on?” The confusion was clear in your voice. In lieu of an answer, Val just looked up at you, her eyes dark. One of her hands came down to rest between her thighs, supporting her body weight as the machine continued to buck. Realization dawned on you as she let out a groan not dissimilar to one she had let out with you a couple hours earlier. Her hand that wasn’t supporting her came around the back of your head, dragging your lips to hers.
That day had started something for you two. After it, you and Val spent a lot of time in the laundry room. It had become almost a routine, every time a new load went in, you and Val would stay in the room for at least 15 minutes longer than you needed to. If Harry noticed, he didn’t say anything.
In the next couple of months, the routine became more of a tradition. Clothes in the house were cleaner than ever. Loads gradually progress from just lights and darks to six different categories: light delicates, dark delicates, light regulars, dark regulars, denim, and sheets. The more loads, the more time you guys had. Normally you took turns, with one of you lending the other a hand (no pun intended), but this time, Val had gotten so worked up, that she jumped up with you. Apparently, the weight of two girls plus the stress of constantly running had been too much for the old machine. It sputtered, and then shut off. You had glanced over your shoulder, hoping that maybe the cycle had just ended, though you knew it was too early. Your stomach sank as you saw the knobs frozen halfway through the cycle. You and Val stared at each other with wide eyes. And that’s how you came to be where you are right now, trying to find a reasonable explanation for Harry as to why his washing machine is broken.
Which, by the way, is much easier said than done. As his green eyes bore into you, your mind scrambles to think up an explanation, but you’re drawing blanks. You look over at Val for help, but she looks just as lost as you are. She does a better job of putting on a confident mask though.
“D’you think you can fix it?” She asks Harry. You see it for what it is – an attempt at deflection.
Harry snorts. “Sure, let me just use my many years of mechanical experience to – oh wait.”
“Ok wise guy, at least you used to be a baker?”
Harry stares at her. “What does that have anything to do with a washing machine?”
“Because ovens …?”
Harry continues to stare at her.
“Could you at least take a look at it?” You jump in. His gaze turns to you. For a moment, you worry you’ve offended him, before he bows his head in a slight nod and steps to stand in front of the machine.
“Ok, well, first off, how much of your laundry do you have left?”
You think. “Well, I think we were only halfway through the third cycle, so-“
“Woah woah woah wait hold on.” Harry stops you. “Only? Third?How many cycles were you planning on doing?”
“Uh,” You count in your head. “Six?” You look over at Val for confirmation, and she nods.
“Six?!” You suppose you understand Harry’s incredulity. In hindsight, six might be a bit excessive. “Why on earth would you need to do six cycles?” This time, he directs it at Val.
She flounders to come up with an excuse. “Uh, well, gotta sort colors, you know…” She trails off
“Yeah but six loads? What, do you guys get off on doing laundry or something?” He says it sarcastically, but both your and Val’s faces instantaneously turn red.
“No.” He whispers. Neither of you answer. You start studying the pattern of tiles on the floor. “What, is this like a- a laundry kink? Is that even a thing?”
Val’s head snaps up. “No, dumbass. Laundry kink is not a thing.”
“Well sorryfor assuming having sex in a laundry room means- “
“Oh for God’s sake we weren’t even having sex!”
“Ok well getting each other off – “
“We weren’t getting each other off!”
That seems to stop Harry short. He gives Val a questioning look, encouraging her to go on.
“We- the washing machine- it,” she stumbles over her words. “Y’know it- vibrates?”
“No.” Harry drags his hands down over his face. “There’s no way you two have been using our washing machine as a vibrator.”
You look up, guilty expression all over your face.
“That’s gross. This is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, and Val, that’s saying a lot for you. Guys, I do my laundry here, I want my clothes to be clean- “
Val tries to defend you two. “We clean up! Also, I thought most straight guys loved the idea of two girls- “
“I’m not most straight guys. Also forgive me if I’m not too keen on the idea of my roommate and her girlfriend in the laundry room – “
“Wait girlfriend?”
“Yes?”
“Do- do you think we’re dating?”
“Well, aren’t you?”
“Harry no.” The corners of Val’s mouth tug up in a smile, as the tide of embarrassment starts turning in her favor.
“Guys? Maybe focus on one problem at a time? We kind of have a bigger issue.” You step in, gesturing at the washing machine.
Harry turns to you. “So you’re single? I mean-” He looks back and forth between you and Val. “You both are?”
“Yes? But like (Y/N) said, bigger problems.” Val pats the washing machine. “Weren’t you about to take a look?”
Harry takes a couple more seconds to respond. His gaze holds yours once again, before he shakes his head as if to clear off cobwebs and starts examining the washing machine.
You look over to Val to see her staring back at you. You widen your eyes comically and lift your eyebrows. She shakes her head in a silent laugh. You have a feeling in years to come, you might be able to look back on this and laugh, but for now, the mortification is still strong.
“Okay,” Your attention snaps back to where Harry’s crouched down at the side of the machine. “I think it might be a problem with the water. It might be blocked or something.” As he talks, his hand comes to rest on a metal tube feeding into the back of the machine that you assume the water runs though. “So if we call a repairman tonight, they should be able to be here by-” And then, the tube slips. You don’t know if it’s due to the pressure of Harry’s hand, or if it was going to happen anyway and he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but whatever the reason, it slips. And a jet of water starts to spray out of where it was. Soaking everything around it. Including Harry. He splutters and stumbles back, but it’s too late. His hair is plastered to his forehead, and his white shirt has become see through. He looks down, assessing the damage, and then stares back at you two helplessly.
“Great. I’m soaked.”
“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Val tries to stifle her laughter, but doesn’t do a very good job at it. After a few beats, you can’t help but to join in. After everything that’s happened, the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been on of stress and mortification, it feels good just to laugh.
Harry stares at the two of you for a few more seconds in mock annoyance, before he also can’t help but join in. Soon enough, the three of you are in stitches over just how ridiculous the situation actually is.
As your laughter dies down, the sound of dripping catches all of your attentions. Your eyes fall to the place that had previously been spraying out water. It had died down so it wasn’t spraying, but there was still a steady, albeit thin stream of water coming out.
“Our water bill is going to be through the roof after this.” Harry doesn’t sound mad, more like he’s just making commentary, but you feel guilty anyways.
“I’m so sorry guys. I’ll foot half the bill. And I can pay for the repairman-”
Val cuts you off. “Don’t be stupid. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. More so, even.”
“No but still, I should pay for-”
“(Y/N).” It’s Harry that cuts you off this time. “Seriously. Don’t worry about it. This is our apartment, our bills.” His voice holds a warm tone you’ve never heard from him, and it’s enough to make you pause for a moment.
“Please guys, let me pay for at least half the water bill and half the repairman. It’s only fair.”
“There’s two of us and one of you. How is that fair?”
You throw up your arms in exasperation. You already knew how stubborn Val could be, you just didn’t realize how much Harry shared that trait. “Okay, fine. One third the water bill, one third the repairman. Please guys. I’m literally begging you.”
They glance at each other seeking silent confirmation and share a knowing smirk. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say they were teasing you.
“Okay, fine.” Val relents. “One third the water bill, one third the repairman.”
You heave a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
Val smiles at you. “Ok, I’m going to go find the repairman’s number. There’s one on the fridge, right Harry?” Harry nods in affirmation, and Val heads out the door, pulling out her phone in the process.
Then it’s just you and Harry. His wet shirt clings to his body, showing off his sculpted figure. You had always noticed he was objectively good looking, but now, with his body practically on display in front of you, you had a newfound appreciation for his looks.
“If I knew you were that keen on paying, I would have started coming out with you guys a long time ago.”
“Hm?” Harry’s voice snaps you out of the trance you didn’t know you were in. He raises his eyebrows at you. Shit. He definitely caught you staring.
You quickly try to divert the subject. “So the only reason you weren’t coming out with us was because you’re a cheapskate? And here I was thinking you just didn’t like me.” You try to joke, but it falls flat as his expression turns serious.
“You thought I- Oh God. I’m an idiot.” He shakes his head.
“Well what else was I supposed to think, what with you avoiding me and all.” You try to keep your tone light, but even you can hear the accusatory undertones slipping in. You hadn’t thought you were bitter, but now facing it head on, you realize you might carry a bit of resentment.
“I never avoided you.” You give him a look. “Okay, maybe I avoided you a little bit. But it wasn’t-” He cuts himself off. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry I gave you that impression. I never meant to make you think I didn’t like you.”
“Well, it’s hard to draw any other conclusions when you get avoided,” you laugh self-deprecatingly.
“I know. And you’re right. I’m sorry. I never really thought about it that way.”
You lift your gaze to hold his steadily. You want an answer, and you intend on getting it. “Then why did you avoid me?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I-” He glances at you, and seems at a loss for words. You look at him expectantly, waiting patiently for him to talk. He sighs again. “Look. You deserve an explanation. But it might take a second, and I’m,” he gestures down at himself. “I need a shower. And a change of clothes. And I need to gather my thoughts. Can we talk after?”
It’s not the answer you expected or wanted, but you nod. The disappointment must show on your face though, because Harry grabs you hand before you can turn away. “(Y/N). I promise after I shower I’m all yours.” His eyes meet yours again, but this time there’s a heat behind them that wasn’t there before. You’re pretty sure this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him, and the most amount of physical contact as well. All at once, it’s slightly overwhelming. Your voice seems stuck in your throat, so instead of responding you just nod. He gives you a slight smile, and with that, he’s brushing past you, out into the hallway, and you’re left standing in the laundry room, wondering what the hell just happened.
You still feel a bit dazed 15 minutes later, as you’re sitting on the couch in the living room when you hear the shower shut off. You quickly close the app you were playing around with on your phone as you glance up. Harry emerges in only a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s like a vacuum for your eyes, drawing them towards him so you can’t possible look at anything else. He stands there, neither of you saying anything until –
“You have three nipples?”
He blinks, seemingly caught off guard, before his brain catches up with what you said. “Huh? Oh, four actually.”
“What? No way,” you gasp.
“Uh-huh,” he nods. “See look – one, two, three, four,” He counts, pointing them all out individually.
“I didn’t even know that was a thing people had.”
“Yeah, well, I’m unique like that.” He grins at you, and you roll your eyes, even as a smile breaks through on your lips.
“Are you going to get dressed, or are we having the talk like this?” You ask.
“Oh, right. I’m just gonna-” he points vaguely in the direction of his room and stumbles off. He emerges a minute later, in a tee-shirt and sweatpants. It’s an outfit you’ve seen him in a million times before, but this time, it hits different.
“Ok, ready to talk?” You ask.
He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “Um, actually, there’s something I think I need to talk about with Val first.”
You give him a pointed look. “Harry.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s just part of my explanation involves something having to do with her, and it wouldn’t be right of me to tell you without asking her first, and-” You cut him off by holding your hand up.
“Ok. Fine. Just make it quick, please.”
He looks relieved. “Yeah, of course. I’m really sorry again.” He turns around as talks, speaking to you over his shoulder, and promptly almost runs into the door frame. He shoots you one last embarrassed look, as he heads out in the direction of Kate’s room. You laugh and shake your head as you pick up your phone to reopen your game.
It’s about half an hour later when Harry comes back into the living room. You glance up at him, unimpressed, and he winces at your expression. “I’m sorry it took so long, I just had to explain some things to her.”
“You’ve been apologizing an awful lot lately, Harry.”
“I know. Hopefully I won’t have to after this.” He crosses the room to take as seat next to you on the couch. He tucks one foot under his knee, so he can turn his body to face you. In response, you curl up and face him as well.
He takes a deep breath. “Okay. There’s a lot I have to say, and quite honestly I’m really nervous about it, so I would really appreciate if you would hear out my whole story before saying anything.” You nod in agreement, and he takes another deep breath before starting.
“I want to start by saying I’m sorry.”
“I thought you said you wouldn’t apologize anymore.”
“I thought you said you wouldn’t interrupt me.” He fires back. You blush, and gesture for him to continue.
“I am, sorry, is the thing. I handled the situation entirely wrong. Looking back, it’s super obvious that the way I handled it made me seem like an asshole.”
“I didn’t think you were an asshole.” Harry gives you a look. “Right, sorry, shutting up now.”
A half smile takes over his face, smoothing out his previously serious features. “I did seem like an asshole. It was only because I didn’t want- No wait. Okay. Let me start from the beginning.
“I knew who you were before we met. Val had told me about you. I met Val about a month after you met her, and at that point, she had a crush on you. That’s what I had to go talk to her about just now. She told me her crush faded right after that, and she thought I knew, but I thought that she liked you all this time. I knew you guys had dated other people, but I guess I thought that she was waiting for you or something? And then that one time I walked in on you guys, I just assumed that you had finally gotten together.”
“Harry.” His eyes snap up to yours. “I’m sorry, I know you said no more interruptions, but Harry, I already knew Val liked me. She told me as soon as she got over it. That’s why we started, y’know.”
He stares at you. “What- you mean- oh come on. Val conveniently forgot to mention that bit. I swear to God, that girl just wants to watch the world burn sometimes.” You stifle a giggle. Sounds like something Val would do. She likes to make Harry squirm.
Harry shakes his head. “Okay. Right. Anyways,” He pauses. “Do you remember the first time we met? When the three of us went for coffee?” You nod your head in affirmation. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen.” Your eyes widen in surprise, but you don’t say anything. “You made me shy and nervous, which had never happened before, and hasn’t happened since. And then we had that conversation about music – remember you told me you wanted Stevie Nicks to be your sugar mama?”
You nod, smiling. “You said you wanted her to be yours too.”
“Right yeah. Basically, I was a goner after that. But I thought Val liked you, and me and Val had just started becoming really good friends, and I really liked her, and I didn’t want to do anything to mess up the friendship. I told myself it was just a crush and I’d get over it soon, but well,” He spread his hands. “I never really did. And then I thought if I distanced myself, it would go away. But that didn’t work either. Also, when I like someone, I’m like, really obvious about it. And I didn’t want Val to know, so again, distancing myself seemed like the obvious choice. And in hindsight, it was a really bad idea, because it makes total sense that you’d interpret it as me not liking you. So. Here we are. I don’t not like you. Pretty much the opposite.”
“Sooo,” Your eyes sparkle. “What I’m hearing is. You have a crush on me.”
Harry groans and drops his face into his hands. “Oh God, I’m seriously starting to regret it. You’re just as bad as Val.”
“We’re best friends for a reason.” You pause. “What does Val think of all this?”
Harry smirks. “I’d say she seems fine with it. If I remember correctly, she said something along the lines of ‘go get that pussy, you oblivious dickhead.’”
You laugh. “Sounds like something she’d say. I hope this doesn’t mean you’re expecting to get in my pants, Styles.”
He grins. “Wouldn’t dream of it, (Y/L/N). Not yet at least. Was thinking of taking you on a date first.”
That makes you pause. “A date, huh.”
“Yeah,” he says, looking bashful all of a sudden.
You pretend to think about it. “Would you avoid me the whole time?”
He groans as you burst into laughter. “God. You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Probably not,” You agree.
“Well fine. If it’s like that, maybe the washing machine will take you on a date instead.”
You gasp. “That’s a low blow, Styles.”
He smirks at you, and you reach over to shove at his shoulder. Before you make contact however, he catches your hand, and uses it to pull you closer to him. He glances down at your lips and then tilts his head, a silent question. You answer by leaning in. But before your lips can touch, the sound of the door slamming breaks you two apart. You look over to see Val in the doorway.
“Well isn’t this awfully cute. Harry, I never thought you’d go for my sloppy seconds,” she laughs.
Harry stares at her, then looks at you, then back at her, and then back at you. “Please, pleasehold that thought. I’ll be right back; I just have a roommate to kill.”
“Be my guest. She’s most ticklish at her waist.”
Val’s eyes widen. “No Harry, you know I’m too ticklish – ARGH,” she cuts herself of with a scream as she runs off as Harry launches himself off the couch after her.
~*~
PLEASE i loved this okay 🥺🥺 bi!reader rights babey!!!!!!!!!! we love 2 see it!!!! i think my fav part was val calling harry an oblivious dickhead nsfjdnsjnsn bc honestly he rly is. i think this was very well done and i just wanna say thank u for following me for so long!!! like damn you’ve been here a while huh……………..i luv u. amazing job babes!
#majorharry20k#also for the writer: i added my thoughts at the very bottom of the fic underneath the cut! <3#submission#thank u for participating babes
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Tsuki Ga Kirei Desu Ne - Prologue (3-Mix)
Jihyo sat at her desk reading a magazine as her students took a test. The cover for the magazine she was reading had her best friend of twenty-seven years, Im Nayeon, plastered on it wearing a simple outfit next to a fence with some flowers while holding an ice cream bar. Although Jihyo would never say this to Nayeon’s face, in fear of inflating her ego even further, the older woman was gorgeous and pulled off even the simplest of outfits. All of a sudden, the silence was broken by one of Jihyo’s students. “Professor Park...” “Yes, Mr. Jung?” Jihyo asked, putting the magazine down. “Was your Mother a beaver, cause damn~.” Kai flirted. The young professor let out a tired sigh seeing as this wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last, time a student has flirted with her. “That’s highly inappropriate Mr. Jung and if you flirt with me again, I’ll have to write you up for expulsion. That goes for everyone else as well, I won’t hesitate to write any of you up for flirting with me.” Jihyo spoke in a stern voice and was about to go back to reading her magazine when another student spoke up. “Professor Park...” “Mr. Kang, this is a test that will count towards your grade for this semester, focus.” “But Professor Park, I’m suffering from a vitamin deficiency that effects my ability to focus...” Concerned, Jihyo picked up her phone and stood to her feet. “Oh no... I can text Mr. Kim to run to the store to grab an orange juice for you, Mr. Kang...” “A-Ah, that won’t be necessary... Besides, the vitamin deficiency I have is a vitamin U deficiency~.” “I see~...” Jihyo chuckled dryly before looking at Taehyun with a straight face. “Get out of my classroom, now.” The furious professor demanded, calmly, scaring the young man. “Y-Yes, ma’am...” Taehyun stuttered, scrambling out of his seat and practically ran out of the classroom.
On his way out, he nearly bumped into a tall woman dressed in all black with her hair in a ponytail and rounded glasses on. “Yah! Be mindful of your surroundings next time, please? You nearly knocked me over.” “S-Sorry ma’am...” The young man stammered before taking off again. “I swear, college kids, they get weirder and weirder every year...” The woman muttered to herself as she entered Jihyo’s classroom without knocking. “Hey asshole, you forgot your lunch...” “Jeongyeon, how many times do I have to tell you, not in front of my class.” Jihyo scolded her best friend of twenty-seven years, Yoo Jeongyeon, and the taller woman ignored her. “Anyway, take your damn lunch, I had to stop writing because of you...” “You didn’t need to bring it, I could’ve went out and brought another lunch.” “No, I took time out of my job to make you this lunch, I was not going to let you waste it...” “I could’ve eaten it later or had it for lunch tomorrow.” “No...” Jihyo grumbled lowly and snatched the bag from Jeongyeon’s hands. “Give me the damn lunch!” The younger girl whisper-shouted at her friend making the older girl smirk. “Good... If you need me, don’t call me, I won’t answer...” Jeongyeon said before turning on her heels and walking out of the classroom. “Aye, yo, Prof Park! Your girlfriend is fine as fuck, just like you Prof~! If y’all were transformers, y’all would be Optimus Fine~!” Jihyo rubbed her temple then looked at Jisung. “Mr. Park, leave my class before I lose it...” “I just wanted to-” “I said get out, Mr. Park!” Jihyo snapped and everyone flinched in fear. “Y-Yes, ma’am... S-Sorry, ma’am...” Jisung trembled in fear before running out the room, barely avoiding the literature teacher Professor Kim Namjoon. “S-Sorry, sir...” Jisung apologized quickly before running off again making Namjoon shake his head. “Mr. Kim, what brings you here?” Jihyo asked, taking a seat at her desk. “I’m here to drop off some important documents...” The literature Professor stated, walking into the classroom and placing the stack of documents on to her desk. “Thank you, Mr. Kim, I’ll have these done as soon as possible.” The older male nodded and hummed in acknowledgement. The male went to speak up about what was on his mind when he noticed a few students staring at them intensely. “Yah. Mind your own business instead of listening to us talk, this is why most of you are flunking your classes.” Namjoon said, flustering the students and making them go back to working. “That wasn’t necessary.” “Eh, college kids are annoying...” Jihyo let out a dry chuckle. “You’re right about that.” Namjoon put his hands in his pockets and looked at the younger woman. “I see you’re still dealing with flirty students.” Namjoon joked and Jihyo sighed. “Stupid horny college students looking for their next lay, nothing I can’t handle.” “Hmm... If it gets out of hand, tell chief. Ok?” “Thank you for your concern, Namjoon-ssi.” Namjoon softly tapped Jihyo’s desk before turning around and leaving the room. Jihyo silently buried her face in her hands. “God, why?” She muttered to herself.
After a long day at work, Jihyo tiredly made her way through the front door of her shared house. “Oh, you’re home, great...” Jeongyeon commented dryly from the couch and she stood to her feet, grabbing her laptop and coffee, and walked out of the living room to go to her home office. Jihyo closed the door behind her and took off her shoes before walking to her room, passing dozens of pictures of the trio together over the years on her way. Once alone in her room, Jihyo slammed her room door and sighed before doing the paperwork Namjoon gave her at her desk. Two hours and a half into filling out documents, Jihyo heard the front door slam open and a shout of “the sexy one has arrived, peasants” which indicated Nayeon entering the house. The front door was quickly slammed shut and Jihyo heard rapid footsteps getting close to her room and her room door was slammed open making Jihyo grip her pen tightly as her eyes widen in shock. “Sup fucker, did ya miss me~?” Nayeon asked, walking into the younger woman’s room and sat on her bed making Jihyo sigh. “What’re you doing with your life, Nayeonie?” Jihyo asked and continued filling out the documents. “Hm, let’s see~. Modeling, getting laid, going to parties, drinking and maintaining my beauty~. What’re you doing with your life, hm?” The younger woman ran a hand through her short hair in frustration. “You’re annoying, you know that?” “Only to people I’m close with~.” Nayeon shrugged, laying on Jihyo’s bed and watching her closely from up-side down. “What’cha doing, Hyo-ssi~?” “Working hard, something you’re not familiar with.” “Wow, ok, asshole...” Nayeon muttered then smirked evilly before banging on the wall that separated Jeongyeon’s office from Jihyo’s room. “Yah, what the fuck, Nayeon!” Jihyo shouted, standing to her feet to stop the older woman. “Can you fucking not?!” Jeongyeon shouted, bursting into the room and glared at her senior. “You... Are you fucking crazy, why the fuck are you banging on the damn wall like an idiot?!” “Cause I wanted your attention, Daddy~.” Nayeon smirked as the younger woman’s face turned red in pure rage. “I’m trying to work, idiot!” “Do I look like I care?” “You’ll fucking care when I fucking strangle you!” “Ooo, kinky~. Didn’t take you for the type to be into choking, Jeong~.” “That’s fucking it, you’re dead meat!” Jeongyeon pounced on Nayeon and they fell off Jihyo’s bed. Jihyo looked over and saw Jeongyeon with her hands wrapped around Nayeon’s neck as Nayeon clawed at the younger girls hands. “Y-Yah! D-Don’t make my room a damn crime scene, get the hell out!” Jihyo panicked, trying to pry Jeongyeon off Nayeon.
A/N: I know I made them different from how they actually are but it’ll make sense in the future.
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good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)
deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?
RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)
i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj
LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333
shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?
172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?
oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd
that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj
you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian
nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?
THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.
RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭
can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3
good night! more like ahhah
:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?
ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)
legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.
i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.
oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??
I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?
they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?
FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)
ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~
AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs
she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~
it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..
<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩
eager for your response <33 love, c.r.
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Just wanna clarify a few things after my long review/rant at the end for KH3 Re:Mind
My comments about the Sokai stuff I stand by, but I wanna be clear because I see Sokai shippers claiming antis complained about the lack of Sokai for it to be a believable relationship and now that Sokai has more moments we’re complaining about them shoving Sokai down our throats.
I cant speak for all antis on this, so I’ll be strictly speaking for myself on this issue and anyone else who feels similar to me. Warning it gets long again so be ready.
Yes Im one of those antis who complained about the lack of Sokai which made it underdeveloped and unbelievable, and yes I am also complaining about them now shoving Sokai down our throats.
Why? because Kingdom hearts is not a romance, and throughout every single game so far romance has taken a severe back seat and handled very subtely. For example Sora’s drawing in the cave of him giving Kairi the Paopu fruit, Riku teasing him about wanting to give one to Kairi, Sora saying hes always with her and promising to come back for her, Roxas calling Kairi ‘the girl he likes’ etc
All these moments were very short, subtle, and to the point. It was not a primary focus nor was it blatantly shoved in your face like
youtube
I mean in almost EVERY shot they were together Sora was holding her hand, which isnt something he usually does? keep in mind Sora and Kairi’s feelings have been known to eachother since KH2 and Sora still didnt behave the way he is now. He was always very awkward and uncomfortable/shy when it came to romance.
In KH2 Sora didnt hug Kairi, nor did he hold her hand, it was KAIRI who initiated the hug out of relief and happiness to see Sora again and that hes ok. Sora did not show the same sentiment and treated her like he always has, just casually walking up to her and just nonchalantly saying ‘You are different Kairi, but Im just glad your here’ as if she wasnt kidnapped and being held hostage this entire time. He should have showed the same concern for her as he did for Riku and Kairi for him but he did not, he just said that and then turned away and apologized.
But in KH3 Sora/Nomura pull a complete 180, Sora hugs Kairi to shield her from Terranort with his body instead of pulling out his keyblade and blocking his attack. Him hugging Kairi there was not only stupid, but it doesnt even defend her, Terranort will just kill Kairi AND him now. That was just a forced out of place Sokai moment for the sake of shoving a Sokai moment that was completely unnessecary and could of easily had the same impact by having Sora do the common sense thing and BLOCK with his keyblade like he did for Riku when they were in THE EXACT SAME SITUATION.
See the difference? good, then I need say no more.
This is only one of many situations where they would shoehorn in a Sokai moment that was completely out of place, didnt make any sense, or just forced in trying way too hard to convince you how much Sora cares for Kairi and how much they love and want to be together forever etc etc
Another example being when everybody ‘dies’ in the keyblade graveyard being swept away by heartless. Sora only loses his mind and breaks down emotionally after Kairi is the last one swept away, he then says the most inconsiderate line he could have ever said.
He says this while RIKU IS RIGHT THERE BESIDE HIM, even if you were arguing he was just speaking figuratively thats still no excuse, he was NOT alone but at that moment he just completely disregarded Riku as if his presence there was the same as being alone.
Not only that but seconds later he does one of the most out of character things for him.
Sora just WATCHES Riku risk his life holding back the heartless to protect him and Sora just WATCHES him fighting off this huge horde of heartless BY HIMSELF and not ONCE does Sora make ANY attempt to get up and help Riku despite knowing his life is at risk trying to hold them back alone.
Even if you wanna argue Sora was in shock, when has that ever stopped him before!? when have you EVER known Sora to just sit back and watch his friends put their lives in danger and NOT help them?
What makes this worse is thats not even the first time he does it, he sits back and watches AGAIN as Axel gets bodied right infront of him just to have him exhausted next to Kairi because you know, Sora’s never fought strong opponents and gotten right back up to protect his friends before.
Remember Terranort? Sora was overpowered by him and still made the effort to run over and hug Kairi to shield her from his attack, but Axel and Riku? nah just gonna chill and watch. This is BEYOND out of character for Sora.
When Axel told Sora to hurry and save Kairi, who was being held hostage by the organization and was in danger, Sora refused to leave him and stayed behind to help him fight. Sora chose helping Axel over Kairi, he put saving his enemy before his own friend/love interest.
When Neku betrayed him, Sora still helped and protected him when he was in danger
When Riku stole his keyblade and Donald and Goofy followed him and left Sora behind, yes Sora was discouraged but when he saw Beasts determination to save Belle no matter what, it encouraged Sora to do the same for the people he cared about
I could go on but you get my point, Sora saw Riku risking his life, literally dying and he did NOTHING, try to justify that all you want but that was incredibly out of character and was obviously put there to show how losing Kairi broke him.
I know your probably gonna argue it wasnt just Kairi it was everybody, and to that I say this, if it wasnt just about Kairi why didnt Sora snap when Ven and Axel got bodied? he froze for a few seconds but then snapped out of it thanks to Riku. After that everybody gets swept away, but the game made sure to put EXTRA emphasis, slow motion and all, to Kairi and Sora reaching out to eachother and then Kairi being swept away by the tide.
THATS when he snaps, if it truly werent just about Kairi they wouldnt have made sure to put emphasis on her being swept away, EVERYONE would have gotten the same treatment if it were truly their deaths also that made Sora fall apart. Im not saying he wasnt upset or heartbroken over them, Im pointing out how they made sure to single out Kairi as the most DEVASTATING loss out of all of them.
Yet again, he has Riku one of his closest bonds if not the closest right beside him yet he doesnt even acknowledge him? he says hes alone even though Rikus right there? you cannot justify that as anything other than downplaying Riku to boost Kairi up.
You do not see the other trios treated this way, every trio has equal focus for ALL of them and even the romantic hints for some of them [Roxas/Xion, Terra/Aqua, technically Namine/Repliku] have all been treated equally and did not feel forced or out of place but very natural and they still made sure to focus on the friendship bond between them overall.
Axel doesnt get played down in importance to Roxas just to boost Xion up, their friendship and bond with eachother are equally important to one another despite whatever ‘romance’ there might be. Same applies to Terra and Aqua, Ven is not played down in importance to them. As for Namine and Repliku they arent a trio but their romance was still handled well and it didnt overshadow their platonic bond or attempt to play down the real Riku or vice versa to boost the other, Namine was equally important to both of them.
So balancing romance and friendship CAN be done in their trio, but for some reason Nomura insists on pitting one against the other and playing down one over the other, in Sokai’s case thats Riku, which is an insult to his and Sora’s bond. The same way Sokai shippers felt the over-focus on Sorikus bond was a disservice to Sora and Kairi’s bond, its the same issue.
But lets get back to Re:mind because besides a few bad moments, overall KH3 was atleast passable with the Sokai nonsense. Then comes Re:Mind and oh boy...the damage control was strong in this one.
Again as I said earlier the Sokai moments in this game were very forced and out of place and in many ways out of character for Sora.
For starters the excessive hand holding, why? to convince us their a thing? but Sora suggests otherwise
Even after all the excessive hand holding, the hugs, the forced moments etc, in the end Sora still calls Kairi a friend. After aaaaall the forced Sokai bs they shoved down our throats Sora still friendzones her, which is it Nomura? you either want them together or you dont, stop playing games and pick a side already.
Dont get me wrong Im glad he hasnt made it official yet but after all this its like enough is enough, either follow through or cut this shit out and go back to being subtle like before.
Another huge insult was Sora constantly saying how his journey started with Kairi, since when? I remember Sora losing Kairi AND Riku that day not just her. I recall Sora not going back to Destiny Islands with Kairi BECAUSE he wanted to continue his journey to find Riku, but apparently in Re:mind it was just all about Kairi, nothing about his journey involved Riku no it was only Kairi that was his main motivation, gtf outta here man.
You can say something over and over but that doesnt make it true, Sora’s journey started with BOTH of them, lets stop playing down Riku’s importance to once again boost Kairi up.
That hug when Sora finally reunited with Kairi after restoring her was so obviously trying to make up for all the years of people complaining about Sora’s lack of reaction to Kairi in KH2 in comparison to Riku, so having him hold her for several seconds floating in the sky should rectify that right? you believe he cares about her now right? fuck off man. If your gonna do damage control than atleast dont make it so obvious that thats what your doing because then it comes off disingenuous, forced, and fake.
But my biggest issue is the ending where they really shoehorned Sokai where it didnt belong, literally stalking everyone else with the exception of returning Namines heart and Sora helping to reunite Chirithy with Ventus. But in Twilight town, why were Sora and Kairi there? they werent with Roxas but just sitting above them
Why were they at Mickeys castle? again their just in the background sight seeing.
These scenes were completely unnessecary and completely out of place and made the ending WORSE rather than better. Why? because these are Sora’s final hours ALIVE whether you argue only for a day or a couple days, in all of these ending scenes only one thing matters to Sora and thats Kairi.
Before we assumed everything that was shown all happened the same exact day and we didnt see Sora with any of them. But now we have confirmation Sora WAS there yet he only spent his last remaining time with Kairi in the background while quietly stalking everyone else? even if he didnt spend time with anyone else, he should have spent his last remaining time with Kairi AND Riku, after all hes his best friend and would like to spend what little time he may have with Sora too but we dont see any of that. Hell this contradicts Soras own danm words to Chirithy prior to this.
Instead of just shoehorning a bunch of Sokai in the background why not show the three of them FINALLY all together again like the old days? this is wtf Im talking about. We saw ALL the other trios together but the Destiny trio? hell naw fuck Riku lets have Sora spend all his remaining time with Kairi, thats the only one who REALLY matters here. After being separated from eachother constantly, now they finally have the chance to be together again and spend time together as friends and they DONT.
Instead Sora decides to take Kairi around the worlds hes visited, something he said he wanted to do with Riku as well, and just spend all his remaining time with her, even though in the base game before the final battle Sora was concerned why Riku was all alone and not spending time with them together. But here? nah fuck Riku. I remembered how important it is to share moments with friends only applied to Kairi.
So personally idc that theres more Sokai moments, my problem is the execution. It doesnt feel genuine, it feels forced and awkward and just doing damage control to pander to the rabid fanbase thats been screaming for this type of content for years, well congrats, you got it.
My problem is Kingdom Hearts was never about romance, it was always subtle and not shoved in your face, it felt natural and not forced and like there was atleast SOME heart behind it, but this? just felt hollow and forced.
Just stop, Im glad in the end Kairi just sleeps for a whole year and probably still will be sleeping when the next game comes out and the focus will shift to Riku and his search for Sora along with the other keyblade wielders doing their part as well.
So Im thankful it seems like we’re done with this crap and getting back to what ACTUALLY matters and what people really wanna see from this series.
Notice how nothing in either of my posts had to do with Soriku as a couple but about their bond as friends, enough said.
So dont try to twist this into just being about pairings because its not, its about what this series has always been about being forgotten for the sake of a fucking trash ship that nobody cares about besides rabid shippers and Sora’s bonds with his other friends being completely thrown out the fucking window to shorehorn in a bunch of unnessecary Sokai moments as a desperate attempt to convince people that these two love eachother which at this point if you have to try so hard to CONVINCE people of your pairing its obvious your doing a very shitty job at it.
Im done, this is my last long post about this for a while but I really needed to get that all out there since nobody else seems to be calling it out for what it is. My anger and frustration is still very fresh and it shows so I really need to stop talking about it because at this point? Re:Mind just ReMinded me why the Destiny trio is the worst out of them all, it is the most unbalanced and quite frankly feels more like Riku is a third wheel at this point and not even a part of the trio anymore. Before Kairi, it was always Sora and RIku yet hes the one whos being pushed aside and forgotten about in all this. That pisses me off.
So Im done with this topic, I need to cool off for the next couple of years till the next game comes out where hopefully Kairi stays asleep the entire time and NOT ruin another game.
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hiii!! i'm that hannah montana but seokjin agenda anon, tell hi to your friend!! the lvl of my satisfaction is impossible to describe, thank you for your service. and yes, you've fulfilled my request!! i really appreciate your efforts, it was on point!! can i request more bangtan things?? only if it's alright with you :| can you do the same ranking for them from ' i'm rich 3$, wine and dine me' to 'i have a rolled blanket as my pillow' *cough* jk *cough*. from that to a simpler lifestyle? thk!
Hey there!! 💕❤️💕 Welcome back!!! 💕❤️💕💕❤️💕 slkskjnsdkjns she saw this and im really glad u like it!! 💕❤️💕💕❤️💕
U can! 💕❤️💕Me and my friend really like your questions because it’s very thoughtful and fun!! 💕❤️💕
EDIT: My friend said they interpreted this question differently into ‘how complex vs simple’ their lifestyle is and!!!!!!!!!! maybe we’ll edit and add it in anon if u send in another ask I’ll ask my friend if they want to answer?? I’m sorry!!!!! My 2nd house sun immediately: Wealth
Please send us more questions, but maybe not this one bc it’s about their personal lifestyle/how they live (+ not their personalities or what they’ve shown us) and it may be treading on 1. making assumptions about their personal life in which we’re in no authoritative position to commentate on
2. we can obviously talk about how we view them and write commentaries on how we feel/what we think, but there’s also a line where we have to acknowledge people might see us as credible information/authority in our own rights when it’s out in public/shared to an audience
3. what they’ve shown us clear boundaries between public figures and their audience might be wiser
4. acknowledging our position of power + influence to the community rather than ignoring the fact that our words have sway will help us in the long-run by making conscious, thoughtful choices on what we could give/bring to the fan/outside community as well.
I hope this makes sense?? 💕❤️💕 I hope it’s ok if I mulled it over last night and thought I might not ��� it might not be the best idea to talk about it/put it out there??
Please don’t feel bad at all!! 💕❤️💕I really love your questions and I actually wrote as I tried to figure out how to do this (literally just disclaimers before I realized oh maybe there’s no way to do this properly and I shouldn’t??) – I don’t want you to get out of this ask empty-handed, so if it makes it any better – I’ll publish my working through below the read more and you might see what I was working out as I try to answer your question?? 💕❤️💕
Long commentary on BTS privilege, social inequality + wealth disparities in the real world (disclaimer for this ask?) + Working Outs and Why It Didn’t Work ⬇️
Note: From here on below is me writing my thoughts down as I tried to answer the ask, I hope that – even though I couldn’t answer your question – this is a good answer in other regards either way? Hopefully?
Just a disclaimer note on BTS and this topic as well: In my head I’m immediately going into commentary about social inequality, wealth disparity and how poverty + classism exists in real life.
Just a quick tangent, but real people suffer from this issue. Our society have consequences when it comes to wealth inequality + the ability to afford basic human amenities (healthcare, living/housing, food, education, transportation, disabilities etc.)
Even when they’re relatable, BTS are billionaires who knows their position is privileged. Lets - make that clear for a second.
They still do their best in variety shows where they have to compete/entertain the audience. What I’m trying to say is. I’d rather not ignore/make note that there’s a difference between being privileged, being aware of these issues and still preferring simpler lifestyles for themselves. Than being ignorant and completely insensitive/unaffected from the matter. They’re still privileged, let’s make that clear. And thus, as relatable as they are to the public/audience, they benefit from the social/economical/political power they have given by those around them (their audience, accessibility medias and production).
In the context that is related (i.e. army joking that BTS fights over ramen) – BTS have never once shown that they’re unaware of their wealth + privilege, even it was a joke – the thing that is missing is the context – they’re usually seen competing in BTS run/gayo, but it’s produced to let them showcase their dynamic and chemistry - the prize (commodities/money) was never actually the main focus.
A highly competitive game with members who know each other well - is actually what these shows are about.
BTS doesn’t glorify their own wealth, nor have they acted as if they are poor in order to gain relatability or sympathy from the audience/masses (looking at armis 💜 who does this. delete armi 💜)
It’s a part of why they have fans and why people like them. They’re able to sell products + contribute to relief/charity organizations and advocate campaigns. Whilst they are in position of privilege compared to others - they’ve never not acknowledged that they could afford to do so for reasonable personal requests (i.e. safety on flights and in airports, security in their home, equipments to perform/produce with, reaching out to audiences that usually never has the opportunity to connect with them despite liking them for a long time, etc.)
I think it’s just important to note - for those who are armys and those who are looking at it from the outside - that this is what we see and why we’re talking about this.
I just want us to acknowledge that they’re privileged and their lifestyle choices are personal, I think that’s what I’m doing here.
So, commentary on social inequality of the world we all live in + BTS privilege in all this/disparities. check.
This is going to be disgustingly generalized to an incredible amount because we don’t have houses – to be completely honest, within the context of the question having houses is exactly what we need for these types of answers.
From a technical stand-point, not having houses when we’re talking about specific contexts within a person’s life (basically why we have so many houses - for different contexts) – will make this reading terribly vague and misleading as well.
Actually, should we do this at all.. because simply saying oh Taurus/Libra placements would want materialistic things to show x, y, z is incredibly misgiving and is like a blanket statement. Without houses in question, there’s no specification on what it is used for or what kind, or what type of actions/manifestations these signs are going to have in order to express themselves.
Planets in signs can only do so much to talk about the energy that is being produced – placing them in houses and context, gives them manifestation that doesn’t simply exist in a vacuum by itself.
All placements in a chart make up a cohesive picture of what it is used for, when and where. With only the how/why (placements) — the best I can probably do to answer the question is just explain how it could possibly manifest and why/what reasoning it may have to express itself that way.
While that is something I could? probably talk about. It… just doesn’t answer the question in a way that’s satisfying. This question is really good… and there’s a way to get there and give it the answer it wants. But.. with what we have, it’s a disservice to answer half-right and do a poor job overall, than to actually give the full answer.
Hnnnfghfnhgn there’s also.. some disclaimers on personal life for idols/public figures and how this might.. be almost assuming or intruding on that territory? From a glance it isn’t like it’s not something they’ve not shown us publicly or told us about. But they also didn’t advertise it, and what they do with their personal life/lifestyle– is that something we (as fan) are in anyway, shape or form, capable or have any voice to talk about as if we know what they’re doing? Does that? make sense?
Like, intruding as in - do we have any authority to tell them to get a pillow or stop drinking wine or something like that. Speculate, on what restaurant they go to/how $$$ it is, or does things that are privileged, things that aren’t going to han river to bike, etc. Can we really pick and choose certain choices they choose to do with their lifestyle, while being completely separated from reality of their other?
Idk.. this is getting complicated.. but maybe sticking to things they are proud of and does talk about openly/happily in their public and professional persona might be better… considering that they should have? a modicum of personal life back to themselves? we could at least do that and choose to respect them right… thats? hm. what’s right.
Fine wine and dine, lavish restaurants and other personal choices on their expenses and love for/lifestyle… maybe.. its for the best if we leave it to their own authority and discretion, over their own private/personal life and what they choose to share with people they know/care for/love.
I think the end all of it might just be: can I imagine them coming to say to us “army, you know how I am right? I’m like this in my personal lifestyle/choice” – and of what they could say, I don’t think that’s something they may be willing to share without their explicit consent, nor can I imagine it right now if it’s about messy habits or a flaw they may have. So hm.
The question addresses simpler lifestyle too – we don’t have authority to commentate on JK’s pillow choices, but being exposed like that suddenly might not be something he’s entirely comfortable with or would advertise to others as well? Not to mention, they all seem to not advertise anything that is outrageously privileged that would smack anyone in the face – they’re pretty sensitive to keeping things personal, private, under-wraps. Even when they choose to eat at a well-known restaurant, it’s not in bad-taste or done frivolously. In a way, they all tend to keep a simpler lifestyle about them to not let their wealth + privilege get in the way of their work + connecting to us, focusing solely on what their skills are + performance and music.
Simply going by that.. is it wise to talk about something we might just choose to show decency/a modicum of respect for the idol’s privacy maybe.. uhhdfjgnn i!!!!!!!!! there’s thoughts and feelings and im just trying to let it out so it makes sense and then i can navigate between it and see what i can do/the right way to talk about it (if it exists)!!
God.. I guess there’s.. no way I can possibly do this?? Considering if I think about it from all sides – I can’t approach it technically, without houses. I literally can’t answer this question, it isn’t about choice because answering this question is directly asking about the houses. So I literally can’t answer correctly. I also can’t – or well, I don’t think the moral issue is ok here when I think further on it. Consequences are inevitable with all posts/production, but optimizing it so that it affects people positively and minimize damage to others is always something to check through. This may not be a good idea, just to do. So maybe not.
Hhndndhnndf ok,,, gotta,,, write something for the introduction so it makes sense.
Note: I did go through this, edit and write some additional paragraphs to make it make sense. But I hope this? gives you insight or some thoughts to my working process and what I consider/go through when I make these posts as well? Thank u for ur time, I hope it isn’t too disappointing ;; let me know what u think/how u feel anon I’m sorry I couldn’t do this question but please let me know if you’re ok or not!!!! 💕❤️💕💕❤️💕
#anon#asks#bts asks#idol asks#bts astrology#astrology asks#hhhHhhhHHhhHHHh me disappointed in myself#me with a 2nd house stel: Wealth??#now that i think about it#im so sorry i might've misinterpreted the q and??#pls dont feel bad :((( or sad :(( at all#this is basically just a wealth + privacy + no houses agenda#and yes its also an eat the rich agenda
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she-ra 4
the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.
the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!
when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???
anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD
but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through
her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring
‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’ WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children
I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.
the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement
I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah
‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’ - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards
‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!
this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.
also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning
that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...
the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.
THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.
love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex
if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does
also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.
why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again
scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show
they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??
i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it
FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....
‘and i fell for it!’ yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA
so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha
‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA
i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah
Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.
wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......
does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?
catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!
no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.
Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS
the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope
also Netossa has such a super cool design.
‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?
spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.
there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal
‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.
i love how double trouble is so meta.
actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?
glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients
why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver
what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.
that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.
‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.
glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa
i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork
they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now
am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they
lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate
‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes
I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER
they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.
‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora
(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)
the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.
they’re all acting like teens - that is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.
‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).
‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)
she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.
mermista coming in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/
i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?
i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok
why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol
i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.
so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.
‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.
‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA
‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????
‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.
GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.
hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?
i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.
are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?
‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol
the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot
i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft
love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....
oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.
really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line???? fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH
i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.
this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated
really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT
is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?
jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!
‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you
I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.
I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama
god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.
wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.
so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????
WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?
so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....
But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?
OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams
why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)
also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?
I love madame Raz.
So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...
guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.
well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes
Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart
my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.
they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol
the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???
why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.
now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.
‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh
how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....
it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem
Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this
they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm
Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch
I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes
is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??
the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????
why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?
THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC
how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.
i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.
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An Unexpected Love- A Mobster TRR AU Crossover
Summary: Bella, the daughter of murdered King of New York Adrian Raines, wants revenge. The Rhys family killed her parents to take the throne. Now she will stop at nothing until she gets her revenge.
A/N: This is my first time writing. This is a love story eventually but it does get dark. I was inspired by @katurrade by her Mobster Liam AU and decided to try my hand at writing. This is unbeta. All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy. Disclaimer: All characters belong to choices by Pixelberry. I’m just borrowing them. Same with the pics they are not mine.
Warnings: violence, cursing, murder, revenge, assassination. By reading you are acknowledging you are at least 18 years of age.
Word count: 1635
Masterlist
Chapter 11
Bella stands there the room spinning her heart ready to leap out of her chest. No...It cant be...Not Liam! Her knees give out she falls to the floor tears welling in her eyes. All this time….he knew, he knew his father did this to me, to my family, what was I just some joke to him? Did he pretend to love me just to get information for his father?? The tears were coming down harder this time. Her heart broken. How could I be so stupid!! All this time I thought he loved me and wanted to marry me and it was all just a lie. The one person I opened myself to the one I would die for….That I truly loved. Bella just layed on the floor crumpled in a little ball as the tears and pain took over. Maybe somehow I knew something like this would happen. Maybe that is why I forgot about him. My maybe my subconscious was trying to warn me he was no good. I just slept with him…..Oh My God….I just slept with him! She laid on the floor letting the tears and pain overcome her.
*********************
After speaking with his father, Liam walked back to room. His mind on Bella. It all felt like a dream. A wonderful dream. He was worried his father would notice that he was different, happier, but the footage was a good distraction. His father didn’t even notice. Bella, his Bella is alive! He was so happy. He couldn't help but smile as he thought of the time he just spent with her kissing her, making her his all over again. He could still smell Bella’s scent on him and he just wanted to breathe her in forever. He went to his office and to his desk opening up the drawer. He grabbed the ring box and opened it. He looked at the ring with a smile. He put it in his pocket and went back to his room. He wanted to propose to Bella as soon as possible. He wanted to be with her. He had lost her once and he would make sure he never lost her again. He thought back to her words. “Liam….can you promise me something? “Anything.” “I don’t want anyone to know about me. “I mean, I don’t want anyone to know I’m alive. At least not yet.” “Of course Love. The last thing I want is for your life to be in danger. You have my word.” “Thank you Liam.” He would keep his promise. He would be there to protect her. He was the son of the King of New York. At that moment he decided he would follow in his father’s footsteps if it meant protecting Bella from harm and from the Phoenix. He would gladly accept the role of King of New York and she would be his Queen. Nothing would harm them or stand in their way.
**************************
After what felt like forever, Bella picked herself off the floor. She got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. She needed to dull the pain. She grabbed the bottle and went back to her room. She had the safehouse to herself and she was grateful for that. She did not anyone to see her like this. As she drank, she threw the file aside not wanting to look at it anymore. The pain was too much. She instead decided to binge netflix and drown her sorrows in alcohol. She needed tonight to get out all out. Come tomorrow. She would need to set her plan in motion.
The next afternoon, Bella woke up with a splitting hangover. She got up to get water and aspirin. She took them and after managing to keep down a smoothie, she started working out. She needed to let out her anger and frustration. The whole time her mind on Liam. On the way he made her feel, how she felt love for him only to find out it was a lie. “Dammit!” she yelled punching the bag with all her might. It wobbled on the stand, almost coming unlatched. She punched and kicked until she couldn't anymore. Then she went down to the shooting range in the basement and let off rounds until her target was completely shredded. She thought back to how Liam answered the phone and said he had to meet Constantine. “Shit! He is going to tell Constantine that she’s alive.” “Fuck!” she screamed. She had fucked up. She needed to go and look at those files again. Maybe there was something that she missed. She would need all the intel she could get. She went back and looked at the folder. According to a file, Liam left to Cordonia after his mother died and did not return to New York until that week she had met him. If that was true, maybe he didn’t know what Constantine had done? She shook the thought from her head. She needed to know more. She grabbed her phone to text Damien
Bella: Hey I need you.
Damien: It’s good to feel needed ;) What’s up?
Bella: Can you meet me in an hour at the bar?
Damien: Actually I have a meeting in an hour. How about in 20 mins.
Bella: Ok see u in 20.
She takes a quick shower and goes to the bar. She beats Damien there and orders 3 shots of rum. Bella finished one and saw Damien walk in to the bar. He spots her and heads over. She gives him a hug and he looks at her surprised. “Damn Bella, you look like shit. You okay?” “Just peachy.” She tells him as she takes the second shot. She hands him the third shot. “No, Im meeting an important client soon, I can’t drink.” You shrug and down the third shot. “Bella seriously, you ok?” Damien asks concern in his eyes. “I will be ok.” She tells him. I need you to get me everything you can on William Rhys, and the death of his mother. Can you do that?” “Of course, but it might take me a few days.” he says. “The sooner the better. I will pay you.” “Come on Belle it's not about the money.” he tells you. “I know, but I will feel better if I do.” “How about you just take me out for drinks again.” “Okay, deal.” “I have to go. I will be in touch.” He says getting up to leave. “Thanks D.” She tells him hugging him goodbye. Bella watches him leave and then heads home. Her mind going back to Liam and his betrayal. She were going to make him and his family pay for everything they did to her.
Liam had been calling and texting her and she had been avoiding his calls. The heartache still too much. Bella texted him once letting him know that she had to leave the state on important business and would call him when she was back. She told him that she had limited access to a phone and would not be able to reach out to him.
A few days later she got a text from Damien telling him to meet her. He handed her a fat folder of information and she bought him drinks. He even managed to make her do a Nazaro Chug. Bella hadn’t had that much fun in a while. She missed hanging out with him and vowed to do so more often. Bella needed a friend she could trust. They were starting to text more often. He could tell she were going thru something even though she did her best to hide it. He was constantly texting Bella to make sure she was ok. It felt nice to have someone care about her again. Bella went home drunk and happy. She texted Damien to let him know she got home okay and passed out.
The next day after her workout, Bella went thru the folder that Damien had given her. She tossed the pictures of Liam aside, his face causing her heart to break all over again. She read up on his brother and his best friend. She read the paperwork regarding Constantine’s deals and also quite a bit of money he paid off to certain people. It seems that he did in fact blackmail or pay off quite a few of her dad’s friends. The most loyal that couldn't be paid off met their untimely deaths. She read on how Liam’s mother was poisoned and how he had gone to live in Cordonia shortly thereafter. There was speculation that Liam’s mother knew Constantine was planning a hit. She was planning on outing Constantine to Adrian. She threw the papers down in disgust. She knew Constantine was evil, but to kill his wife, the mother of his children? That was a new low. She wondered if Liam knew that it was his father that killed his mother. Bella had a few flashbacks of Liam and from what she remembered, he hated his father. If that were true then why would he be working for him? It didn’t make any sense. Bella knew then what she had to do. She would have to see Liam and pretend that everything was ok. She needed to know if Liam did in fact have something to do with her parents murders. If he did she would have to kill him. That thought hurt her heart. But what if he didn’t? Then maybe he truly did love you? NO! Dammit Bella get your shit together! She told herself. She was out for blood and it would not matter if Constantine was Liam’s father. Liam would not stand in the way of her revenge.
Chapter 12
Thank you for reading!! Reblogging and comments are appreciated. It will keep me motivated to write 💜💜
If you would like to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know.
An unexpected love tag list:
@katurrade @bobasheebaby @elles-choices @furiousherringoperatortoad @hopefulmoonobject @stopforamoment @tornbetween2loves @indiacater @annekebbphotography @gibbles82 @blackcoffee85 @ownworldresident @marietrinmimi
#choices#king liam royal romance#the royal romance#trr#trr fanfic#trr liam#trr mc#choices trr#trrau#mobster liam#mobster
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The Making of - ‘Disney’s Hyperfantasia’ - Sal Viejo
How do you (or I) write a cathartic song?
The more I look at this question the more it becomes increasingly simple and complicated in my mind. On one hand, I know how to do it. I’ve done it for three years as Sal Viejo, listened to cathartic music from other bands and watched performances that sent waves of catharsis through the room. You just do it. On the other hand, saying “you (or I) just do it” is an answer that is unsatisfying, and I know that there have been times where I have been unable to write a cathartic song where the advice “just do it” would have sent me into a rage. So, I decided to write a cathartic song, as I have done before but this time, using autoethnographic research methods, explore my process not only documenting what I was doing but reflecting on the parts of my real life that went into the song.
Catharsis as a feeling is difficult to define, especially from an academic perspective. An interesting note from some of my reading into music therapy is that the music we listen to shapes our lives and experience. (Barnes, 2013) Continuing from this idea, Barnes points out a case where a neuropsychologist was struggling down the side of a mountain with a broken leg and eleviated some of the mental strain and pain by focusing on a song. (ibid.)
Looking specifically for references to catharsis I found an explanation of the phenomenon in a film text, “Catharsis is Aristotle’s term for the experience of audiences at the end of tragedy – overwhelming feelings of sorrow, pity, or some other strong emotions caused by the representation of tragic and piteous events… Aristotle and most of his commentators agree that catharsis, whatever it is, occurs to the beneficial effect of the audience.” (Plantinga, 2009) I feel that mainstream media has changed the meaning of the cathartic experience, in that rather than leaving stories on tragic endings, the trend is to send the crowd home happy. There has been a trend in media to end stories on more tragic notes recently, in my view closer to how things end in real life, Breaking Bad is a great recent example.
Tying the two ideas together now, when looking for information on catharsis through music, there proved to be some gaps in the literature. There are discussions of how works have been performed in contexts that have made them cathartic, (Ansari, 2013) how communities use musicking to cope with their economic and social stresses (Stamatis, 2015) and even how music is being used in physiotherapy sessions, showing the role of psychology in pain treatment and management. (le Roux, 1998)
My approach to this question hinges on creating a song that provides some level of catharsis, either for me or the listener. Despite my reading, coming to a clear and understood definition of catharsis seems difficult and thus, I think it makes sense to g to the original, Aristotelian definition as provided by Plantinga, overwhelming feelings at the end of a tragedy.
My understanding of autoethnography as a research method comes from some time considering it in the course of my honours and masters study up to this point. One of the core elements that draws me to it is my understanding that at the core of the research is the individual and their creative work (in the context of creative autoethnographic projects). Adams, Jones and Elis describe autoethnography as practice that; uses a researchers personal experience in describing and critiquing culture, acknowledges and values the reasearchers relationships, uses reflexivity – reflecting on the way the individual interacts with the world, shows “people in the process of figuring out what to do, how to live, and the meaning of their struggles”, balances emotional and intellectual work and strives to make the world better. (2014)
I was inspired to write in this way by David Carless whose paper Throughness was the first autoethnographic study of song writing that I came across. In reviewing the literature there were many papers focused on performance or composition of art music pieces but when looking for contemporary song writing used as autoethnography the field was sparse. In this paper Carless asks many of the same questions I face myself,
“How do we write songs as qualitative research? What kinds of processes matter when writing a song? What can we do to support and nurture these processes? What might we draw upon when writing songs about our own or another’s life? And how is it that culture, politics and personal biography can become so powerfully entwined in a song?” (2018)
In answering these questions Carless submits a series of Diary entries that they call a story that details the specific moments where the creation of the song was happening as well as their personal reflection on their own song writing process. In a similar way, I have been drawing from a journal I use specifically to write thoughts I have when I am in a negative mental headspace for lyrics and ideas and building songs up around them. Unlike Carless’ work, I will be covering not only the song writing process but also the process of cutting together a demo version of the song for release on Bandcamp. In putting together my story I will be including transcriptions of events based on my personal notes and my memory, images from my journal and other writing and personal reflections, some of which will touch on themes of self-harm, depression, and suicide. Please read in a safe mental place and look after yourself.
If you need help, please seek it:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300224636
Suicide Call Bank Service 1300659467
Process:
In late July of 2021 I found myself experimenting with chords in open D after having uploaded a cover of Hot Mulligan’s I Fell in Love with Princess Peach. Open D feels like such a powerful tuning, so easy to get big brash sounds. I have been avoiding writing in alternate tunings because the idea of tuning on stage stresses me out, but I have a show coming up and want to play that Hot Mulligan cover to impress someone I think might be there so to justify the tuning I figured I would try and write another song using it.
I always have way more chords or instrumental parts for songs before I have lyrics. I find that I will often even have a vague melody line that I can hum or make random syllables around while I play the parts on my guitar. I have been trying to just say the first thing that comes to mind, trusting the part of my brain that knows what good lyrics sound like to figure something out under pressure, but I have found this process works best with some stimulation.
My mental health is something I have struggled with, largely in silence for my life, since probably my mid to late teens. I was on medication for a while, it didn’t go so well (see twelve) and since then have been trying to come to terms with my mental health through mindfulness, mediation, and introspection.
PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND DO NOT ADVISE THIS. GO AND SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE UNDERTAKING ANY CHANGES TO MEDICATION OR TREATMENT.
One way I have done this is by having a specific journal to write in on nights where I feel I am having particularly negative thoughts, the idea being that when I have these thoughts, I find they tend to circulate inside my head and writing them down is a way that I can get them out of my head. Additionally, it allows me to go back and reflect on the patterns of thinking and try and figure out where they come from. On one night, I’m going to guess late June, early July based on my memory I was having negative thoughts that led me to write down this across two pages
Transcription:
Im sick of all my friends being worried.
No matter how hard I try I can’t see what comes next
Static the cards the stars everything
Static
I wish I could still dream, maybe I could if there was a future to see
Why do I keep seeing myself in a carcrash?
When I drive around at night I think about
driving into the side of the road.
Not really thinking about it but it just happening. I feel Like I’ve
done it. I feel like I am doing it. It’s beautiful,
its silent. I am calm. No more thinking.
I DON’T WANT TO DIE YET
(the word “breathe” is written five times through the lines underneath the statement)
One day at a time
-Next Page-
(a crude single line drawing of a sunset over an ocean above the margin)
I clearly need to go talk to someone
Most of the time i feel like
I look normal –
Everyone is suffering, its easier to pretend
Its harder to tell the people you love youreinpainbecausetheycant… (I can’t read what I wrote)
Head feels like static
Trying to fill the noise Beniah knows too
Amy asked if I was doing ok I said yes
I don’t think she believes me anymore I hate the
Look in their
Eyes when they
See me
Everyone knows youre sick Can’t have them know… (I can’t read what I wrote)
I think Im doing ok now
I feel like I am good at adjusting
to how I feel.
Didn’t go for a drive
Remembering parts of this night I know that I didn’t write all of this at once. The first page was written largely at the same time, the second page in bursts, idea by idea, sometimes writing new ideas in and around older ones, writing more frantically. I feel like there are two stories being told here, on the first page, an internal negative feeling, I have never told anyone about the car thing until releasing this song. The second page, the negative feelings growing and being self-aware about wanting to appear ok around my friends and housemates and feeling that pressure.
So now I had a couple of pages of personal emotional outpourings, some chords that I like the sound of and a quest to make a song cathartic. More important to me than how cathartic the song is, as with all my song writing, is that it was honest so in sorting through my scribblings I wanted to put together an accurate representation of my mind at the time.
I first jotted down what felt like the most unique imagery to me, the false memories of being in a car crash and coming to terms with that. I am not sure what it means, but it is scary at times. I thought that because it is such a unique experience that detailing might be an interesting part of the song and thus the pre-chorus and chorus were put together. I had the melody of the chorus on a voice memo on my phone when working on the guitar part and I remember thinking to myself, for such happy chords the melody was lending itself to something almost being howled out, it felt like a question almost.
After I had written the pre-chorus and chorus the next thing that felt natural to do was to frame the response to that statement which is the second verse. Reflecting on the pages, a lot of my worries on the second page seemed focused on how my friends and the ones I care about perceive me. I think this is a common feeling for people who struggle with their mental health and something that I am less concerned with when I am not in a negative mental space. The lyricism in the second verse is intentionally a little frantic, I wanted it to mimic in a small way how my mind can jump from idea to idea.
I always find opening songs difficult; I think it’s important as a songwriter to have an impactful first few lines, especially in a song that is being made with the intent of an emotional experience in listening to it. I decided to borrow the writing style from some of my favourite US mid-western emo bands who often frame difficult to swallow truths in upbeat melodic phrasing and whimsical turns of phrase. A quite extreme example can be heard on The Front Bottoms’ “Father” which opens with some quite graphic imagery and is about the lead singers strained and complex relationship with his father, but I have seen people cheer and sing and dance along when the song is played live. And so, I decided to be very honest about the background of the feelings, maintaining some semblance of the narrative that I am ok while showing really that I am not, heading into the pre-chorus.
The bridge was the last section to come together, both musically and lyrically. The rest of the piece was pretty much put together and being fine polished as far as vocal phrase lengths and how I would play the guitar part. The lyrics for the bridge started as what could have been a verse, describing the images but I decided that the pre-chorus was a more functional way of doing that, introducing the idea in a semi-palatable way. I knew I would close the song with the bridge (potentially put a chorus at the end) and decided to add some weight to the end of the work, almost like a Shakespearian tragedy, everyone dies at the end. I don’t think I make it feel like there is death at the end of the piece but the way I stack the layers of the pre-chorus and bridge sections before cutting right at the end to the first line of the pre-chorus was designed to add to the emotional impact at the end. Initially the guitar part for the bridge was more complex, I wanted to try and show that I was a good guitar player and had been practicing. This led me to retuning the guitar to Open D to come up with a pretty and impressive riff. I had a few ideas but in the context of playing solo and recording a demo I want the core guitar part, the part I play, to be something that I can do while I sing and give an overall engaged performance, which I’m not quite good enough to do with impressive guitar bits yet.
Lyrics:
I feel well adjusted, sometimes
I feel fine, or I lie which I know I shouldn’t do to my friends
But we all pretend, because it’s easier than admitting how scared we are
Have I told you about the weird thing that happened the other night in my car?
I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head
Of me losing control, on the free way
And it plays in slow motion
And the strangest thing about it to me always is
I don’t scream
I don’t scream
I know I worry you, I’m worried too don’t think I want to die yet
Look at the sunset, take a deep breath, hold on for one more day
I’m ok, that’s what I say but I don’t think you believe me
Static on the TV, looks like my tea leaves,
Don’t worry about me
I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head
Of me losing control, on the free way
And it plays in slow motion
But the strangest thing about it to me always is
I don’t scream
I don’t scream
I don’t scream
I don’t scream
As I watch bumper meet divider,
Sparks and metal fly up
Into the night sky
I wonder how it would feel
I wonder how it feels to…
As I watch bumper meet divider, I’ve been seeing pictures,
Sparks and metal fly up almost like memories in my head
Into the night sky of me losing control
I wonder how it would feel on the freeway
I wonder how it feels to… And it plays in slow motion
But the strangest thing about it to me always is
As I watch bumper meet divider, I don’t Scream
Sparks and metal fly up
Into the night sky
I wonder how it would feel I don’t scream
I wonder how it feels to…
I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head
Once the song was structured, I began practicing it, getting ready to cut a demo to put out into the world. In practicing it, I found the song easier to engage with on some days rather than other. I make recordings of me playing new songs so I can remember how they go at later dates but also to watch back and think about melodic choices and I found on one particular day while I could technically perform the song ok, I know I had played it better in the past. I have this relationship with most of the Sal Viejo songs that are about hard things from my life. I can perform most of them at the drop of a hat, but I know the performance is better when I am in the right mental place. I find it is a fine balance between being where you were during those hard times, but still able to perform. I feel like ‘Sal Viejo’ almost acts like a mediator sometimes, an outside observer who can sing about these things because they didn’t live through them, they saw them happen.
Heading into the day of recording I was a little stressed. Not only was I recording something still pretty fresh with the intention of sharing it to the world, but I also had just moved, had just gotten out of quarantine due to a secondary covid contact, was working a new job and had lots of uni work to do. I started the day by going and getting a coffee, thinking about the song as I went on my morning walk. My thoughts were mostly about the melody, the chords, the rhythm but also, I was beginning to make some mental adjustments to get me to the place I felt like I needed to be. When I got home, I had the intention of going slowly, setting up at my own pace and warming up but I felt the compulsion to just get it done. I started with guitar tracking, taking a signal from a mic set up near the body of the guitar and a line from the guitar, through an acoustic reverb pedal. It was during the guitar tracking process that I realised I had to simplify the line in the bridge. To get the timing right, I was playing to a metronome and singing to myself to figure out where the chord hits were and realised that I couldn’t actually play the part and sing, making it useless for live shows. After I finished the guitar did a quick mix and took lunch. I decided that I would try some vocals, but I didn’t know how they would go. I started singing and quickly realised that the phrasing would prove difficult and so I would have to punch in some of the sections. I found this really challenging because a part of the emotional engagement with the song comes from singing whole phrases, not just particular lines. What I decided to do was do multiple, full length takes, each one hitting the entrance of a section and cut it together. This meant that I could stay in the right emotional place while performing for recording and worry about the engineering side later.
I wanted the mix to be fairly transparent for the demo, wanting people to hear the emotion and the story without too much distraction. I cut the vocals together and did a mix that I felt like let the vocals pierce through enough while still feeling tied to the guitar. There is a charm in the small amounts of string buzz and mic popping in the demo for me, in the mixing process I tried to get rid of some of it but decided that macro level edits would take away some of the human delivery. One decision I did make at this point was editing the lryics.
The original lyric in the bridge was, “I wonder how it would feel, I wonder how it feels to die”
I thought that the impact of that phrase would be increased if that word was censored, as subtly as possible but in a way that leaves listeners hanging on what the end of the phrase is. There are clues in the rhyming structure and content around it and you can figure it out if you listen to it, also I don’t know that I necessarily want a song in the world where I am explicitly asking what death feels like, I don’t know that I am at that level of openness as a songwriter yet.
In the rush of creative energy, I also cut a DIY, proof of concept music video which I attached the master of the song to which can be watched and heard here.
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Reflections:
Digging into my song writing process has proved an interesting and at times challenging experience. In many ways I think I was fortunate to already have the bones of the song together before I started approaching the writing and making of the song as research as I don’t know that I could have been as honest in my lyricism knowing that I might have to explain where it came from. One observation I made is, through digging through the emotional distress that lies at the heart of this song, I found myself having cathartic emotional responses, forcing myself to consider where my songs come from. Also, as I practiced I found that having the research idea and the goal of catharsis beneficial as I made performance choices. I am unsure whether or not I have definitively answered the question, ‘how does one write a cathartic song?’ But in conducting this autoethnographic study of my process of writing a song with catharsis in mind I think I have answered, here is one way that I can do it.
References:
Adams, T. E., Holman, J. S., & Ellis, C. (2014). Autoethnography. ProQuest Ebook Central
Ansari, E., A. (2013) “Vindication, cleansing, catharsis, hope”: interracial reconciliation and the dilemmas of multiculturalism in Kay and Dorr’s Jubilee (1976). American Music, 31 (4), https://go-gale-com.saeezproxy.idm.oclc.org/ps/retrieve.do?tabID=T002&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&searchResultsType=SingleTab&hitCount=1&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm¤tPosition=1&docId=GALE%7CA401094780&docType=Critical+essay&sort=RELEVANCE&contentSegment=ZEAI-MOD1&prodId=EAIM&pageNum=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA401094780&searchId=R1&userGroupName=saeinstitute&inPS=true
Barnes, H. (Ed.). (2013). Arts activism, education, and therapies : Transforming communities across africa. ProQuest Ebook Central
Carless, D. (2018). “Throughness”: A Story About Songwriting as Auto/Ethnography. Qualitative Inquiry, 24(3), 227–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800417704465
le Roux, F. (1998). Music: A new intergrated model in physiotherapy. South African Journal of Physiotherapy, 54(2), 10-11. doi:https://doi.org/10.4102/sajp.v54i2.593
Plantinga, C. (2009). Moving viewers : American film and the spectator's experience. ProQuest Ebook Central
#CIM406.1#Creative Inquiry#diy#emo#midwestern emo#music#new music#music video#academia#research#autoethnograophy#australian#canberra#musician#producer#process
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Girl On Girl Hate Needs To Stop Right Now
Hello, my lovely readers!
Today’s post it going to be a collaboration with the one and only, fantastic, Asha from Life By Asha Singh. I’ve done a ton of awesome projects with her – so if you’ve ever read IIB before, you know who this lovely human is.
Asha wrote a post on this very same topic today, so please be sure to check her post out!
Asha’s Blog: http://www.lifebyashasingh.com
Asha’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifebyashasingh/
Asha’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/lifebyashasingh/
Ok, friends, repeat after me now:
“GIRL ON GIRL HATE MUST STOP.”
Now louder for the people in the back.
This is cliché; I get it. But, for some reason, this society keeps on pitting us women against each other in just about every sense. We all want to be the “prettiest,” the smartest, the most accomplished, the most exciting, the most likeable on social media, the most popular, the best dressed, the one with the most #relationshipgoals relationship – you get it. It is societally engrained in us to put other women down in order to make ourselves feel better about our own self-esteem. That is a huge problem in so many ways. Why must we villainize the other in order to find security in ourselves? Ok, I have a very applicable Mean Girlsquote to insert here, but hear me out – it’s actually super valid.
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” – Cady Herron, Mean Girls
Ladies, do we spend half as much time thinking about how kind we are, how thoughtful we are, how supportive we are, how driven we are, the way we obsess over things like our physical appearances or our Instagram captions? The answer is most likely a solid “no.” This is sad, but the way that this society treats women is what molds all of this mess. This society places much more emphasis on women being desirable and easy on the eyes more than other more valuable things like being kind, educated, empowered, or empowering.
We’ll get back to this empowerment talk in a minute. Another issue that needs to be addressed is the way that today’s society makes all people feel the need to measure the validity of their accomplishments based off of the accomplishments of those around them. I fall victim to this trap a whole lot. We need to remind ourselves that our achievements mean what they do in the context of our own lives, and it is time we stop giving into this competitive society. Im not going to get into talking about this issue in the context of society’s beauty standards and definitions because that’s material for a series of novels, so that’ll be compressed into its own blog post at a later date.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Now, you may be thinking, “Indira, this is all good and fine, but how am I supposed to apply it to my life?” It is a million and seven times easier said than done. Here are the steps that I plan on taking from here on out to work on not putting other women down.
Acknowledge when you are engaging in this “girl on girl hate” behavior, and catch yourself. Saying things like “wow, did you see a guy leaving doing the walk of shame from her dorm room in the morning?” or “wow, that dress is way too tight for her,” is absolutely unnecessary. Okay, a guy is leaving her room in the morning in party clothes, that’s fine and not my problem or place to judge. I am personally not a fan of her dress – but I don’t have to wear it, so that’s fine and not my problem or place to judge. Just repeat to yourself that it is not your problem or your place to judge. Simple as that.
Stop talking about physical appearance so much. Don’t comment on anyone else’s physical appearance. It is unnecessary. You do what makes you feel attractive, and let other people do the same.
Take care of yourself. Take care of your soul. Work a little bit every day on improving or solidifying your self confidence. Be kind to yourself and empower yourself. This is the first step towards empowering others. Empower yourself.
I want to end this post with one of my favorite quotes that I think every woman needs to live by, or at least I try to.
“Empowered women empower women.” – Anonymous
Empower yourselves, ladies, and in doing so, don’t make it be at the expense of one or many of your sisters. We are all sisters, no matter what we look like, what reproductive organs we possess, what we do, or where we are. We are all sisters. Be there for your sisters. Empower your sisters.
#empowerment#empoweringwomen#empower yourself#empowered#empoweredwomen#empoweredwomenempowerwomen#beyonce#mean girls#cady heron#confidence#feminism#end girl hate
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Regarding Rebecca...
Ok, so I know a lot of us (myself included) wanted to see Rebecca as the 'bad guy' in all of this, but the thing is... I don't think that's the way we're supposed to see her at all, especially after the last episode. We're (according to IM) supposed to see that Rebecca has been trampled on by Robert a bit, and she's supposed to be 'redeemed', and well... me being me I can't help but try to work out ways that this could happen in terms of the storyline that we currently have. So, I've been thinking about it a bit, and have a new theory that may make sense (or it might not, but try me).
I've seen a lot of discussion about her not taking responsibility for her actions that night, or any since then, and the laying of blame on everyone but herself, so... here we go...
Btw, this is quite a sympathetic post about Rebecca, something I never thought I’d see myself writing but... -shrugs-
The ONS
So, we know that they had sex (both of them confirmed this, and as much as I might hate it, yeah it happened and Maxine's episode made me feel better about it so, moving on...). We know Robert was, in his own words, 'hammered', and passed out afterwards, and Rebecca left after that. Which is where it gets odd. Because if she was so sure that she had a chance with Robert, then why leave?
I think because after they did the deed and he passed out, she had a sudden realisation. What she'd done was wrong, she shouldn't have gone along with it, shouldn't have slept with him and so she left in shame.
Supporting evidence?
The odd voicemail the morning after.
Her denial 'I didn't, I wouldn't' to Chas when confronted.
Her upset when realising Robert had used her – her fears confirmed.
Each time they interacted between then and Aaron's release from prison is the same, she lay all blame squarely at Robert's feet, not taking responsibility or acknowledging that she was just as much to blame.
Now I'll come back to the blame part of this in a minute, as we come to:
The Pregnancy
She was enjoying watching Robert squirm, her little digs at him but despite all of that, she didn't want Aaron to know, it was all talk. But then, she discovers that she's pregnant. We saw her guilt after she took the test, her certainty that the child is Robert's, her upset when told to get an abortion, again when she was told she would have to wait a month for the clinic 'to confirm' the pregnancy. Upset, but mixed with more blaming Robert, particularly just after he's found out, when she first tells him the child is his. Then, of course it got dropped for a few weeks, which... yeah. Moving on...
To last Monday. She had the appointment and missed it, made another and then cancelled that one. At some point between the original appointment and then, she fell in love with her child, and ultimately couldn't bring herself to go through with the abortion. This is of course, completely her choice whether Robert likes it or not. Yet... she still didn't want Aaron to find out. She may have tried to persuade Robert to tell him, but I don't believe she ever thought he actually would, so she chose to leave, not that she got far.
She still blames Robert for it all, even after the situation was made public, but I don't believe that's the true way that she feels. She got angry and upset when Robert tried to be kind to her, perhaps because she doesn't feel that she deserves it? Not only for misleading him regarding the abortion, but for the situation in the first place? She knows that she did the wrong thing that night, she shouldn't have slept with Robert. She knows deep down that she is to blame as much as Robert is, but she's still unwilling to admit it.
She doesn't want to face up to it, so instead blames everyone around her in the hope that she'll feel less guilty. She didn't take the morning after pill because 'she wanted to forget about it'. When admitting to Chrissie that Robert was upset, Chrissie said it herself: 'What a turn on.' She says she knew what she was doing, but she's still blaming Robert for it all, unable to admit it to herself.
She's ashamed of her actions that night, ashamed that she let herself be taken in by Robert again, that she found herself in this situation again, but the one good thing in her mind is that she's pregnant. She wants to be a mother, and while it's not ideal, she can't bring herself to get rid of it, to wait for a better time. I feel that she's projecting her own self-hatred for what she did onto Robert, and in the process the love she once had for him has turned to dislike, and she feels betrayed, and wants Aaron to see that too (hence that... lovely conversation on Friday). She wants to try and make up for her own stupidity, her own betrayal of someone she saw as a friend, by, in her own way, helping him see Robert for who she thinks he is (I mean, we know differently but she doesn't).
And now, we come to the latest episode.
She's seen Robert's less... desirable side, shall we say, and wants him to have no part in her baby's life. She experiences pain, and goes to the hospital... and now is where I get to the speculation part of this.
I don't think she's pregnant. I think she found that out in the last episode. My reasoning?
No medical scenes (and in fact, none at all throughout this, the only thing this pregnancy hangs on is the pregnancy test in the first place). No doctors, no scans, all done on her own.
Her being unable to tell Chrissie how far along she was.
The abortion clinic telling her to go back in a month so they could confirm that she was pregnant via a scan.
Her suddenly wanting to leave after being finally seen by a doctor.
Vic's throwaway comment about faulty pregnancy tests back in April.
My opinion is that she lied to Chrissie about having to stay overnight, she certainly wasn't expecting her to go back to see her and thought she would be able to get away without being noticed. To me, her leaving like that, with nothing except the clothes she was wearing... it didn't scream 'I need to get away for the stress'. The whole stress thing in the first place is somewhat flimsy, and Chrissie had evidently not spoken to an actual doctor, this was all from Rebecca.
I believe that Rebecca had just found out that she isn't in fact, pregnant and thus wanted to get away, because she'd realised just what a mess her mistake had made, how many lives she'd affected by it and how much upset she had/would have caused by it all, plus how idiotic she would look when people found that one out, so she ran, to avoid it. If she left and never came back, then no-one need ever know.
This of course, is part of her 'redemption'. She wanted to be a mother, wanted that baby and then finds out that she isn't pregnant, making her look sympathetic to the audience (and making us lot a bit happier at the same time).
So, what was the point of this whole mess, I hear you ask, if not to give Robron a baby/a Sugden descendant? Several reasons, in fact.
To give Robert some character growth. Yes, he may have cheated but he owned up. He admitted it all, every single thing and was prepared to face the consequences, despite having 'gotten away with it' something we haven't seen from him in the past.
To make Robron talk about the issues in their relationship, and make them stronger as a couple overall. Something needed to happen to make them stop brushing things under the carpet, and this was it.
To make Robron consider a family in the future – something we got a hint of in the latest episode.
To lead up to Lawrence's exit (how much have his stress levels increased in the last few episodes alone?).
This post is a mess LOL. I hope you made it to the end of that, and I hope it made at least a tiny bit of sense. :)
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