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#occasional bouts of actual pain

fauxbia · 6 months

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This is Paths Left Untaken! She/Any, Aroace.

She's an Iterator OC that I love so much and inflict endless horrors on. She's just your basic Iterator, made to find the Solution without many particularly noteworthy quirks. Really, she's nothing special. And that fact is agonizing.

Paths Left Untaken was made primarily out of obligation rather than genuine passion. Her creators were a group of people interested in finding ways to streamline the Iterator construction process, and since more Iterators is always better, they were always working on one Project or another. As such, her creators and administrators never particularly cared about her all that much. She was just another Iterator Project they had completed, and now it was time to take the lessons they had learned when building her to move on to the next.

Even worse, this approach to Iterator construction resulted in Paths Left Untaken being relatively poorly constructed. There were two notable examples of this. The first was a persistent bug in her priority queue that would occasionally cause new priorities to either completely overwrite everything else in the queue or fail to be properly added, resulting in her being extremely distractible and having issues with focus.

The second was the arrangement of all of her most important components—including the entirety of her AI—, being concentrated completely in the core of her structure, within her Central Cortex, instead of distributed throughout Her creators reasoned that this arrangement would allow her quicker processing speed and power, but the end difference was negligible from standard Iterator processing. Rather, it inadvertently ensured that if anything negative happened in her Central Cortex, Paths Left Untaken would be incapacitated.

As a result of the neglect she faced, Paths Left Untaken was desperate to earn her administrators’ approval. She would spend long stretches of time focusing only on the Great Problem, ignoring everything else (including her own wellbeing) to run countless simultaneous high-intensity processes so that she might achieve results that would make her creators notice her as more than “just another Project.” But it was extremely difficult on account of her trouble with focusing, and it never really worked anyway. It only ever left her burnt out and hurt from repeated dismissal.

After a very long while of this, it occurred to her that she was never going to be anything but just another Project to her creators and nothing she could do would ever change that. Out of spite and pain at the rejection, she turned in the exact opposite direction and decided that if her creators were never going to acknowledge her efforts anyway, then she wasn’t going to do what they built her to do. She instead turned her focus to getting acquainted with her own Local Group, hoping to find validation in her peers rather than in her superiors.

However, she was received with caution, as she had never actually made any efforts to talk with them before. From their perspective, she was focused only on the Problem and didn’t care about them at all, and this sudden change was jarring and suspicious. But Paths’ neglect of her groupmates wasn’t out of malice like they thought; she just genuinely forgot they existed for a while as she focused on seeking approval. The only exception to this was her Senior, who was barely tolerant of her anyway on account of her extreme distractability and overly eager to please demeanor.

In the end, her groupmates never really welcomed her. She acted a lot younger than she actually was due to her neglect, and was turbulent between extreme people-pleasing and bouts of pain-fueled anger at them and her creators for not acknowledging her. She was a mess, to put it lightly, and her groupmates were just… uncomfortable around her. So they stopped engaging with her, and eventually she got the hint and stopped trying to earn their approval, too.

The Mass Ascension was a horribly traumatic event for Paths Left Untaken. It basically proved to her that she meant nothing to any of her citizens, if they could all abandon her without a second thought. Now she could never earn their approval, and she was left drifting without purpose or acknowledgement. Her pain meant nothing. All of her groupmates were hurt by the Mass Ascension. She wasn’t special for having been traumatized by it. She was still unremarkable. She was “Just Paths.” And that’s all she would ever be.

Paths Left Untaken was alone for a while following the Mass Ascension.

And if I draw anymore I think my hand is actually going to explode, so! I'm just going to wrap this post up here. This was a basic overview of Paths Left Untaken pre-MA, and a lot more happens to her after the Mass Ascension. Like, a lot more. Girlie was selected by the universe to Suffer A Lot, Actually. Like she did absolutely nothing to deserve any of it but sure I guess.

Anyway! Feel free to ask me stuff about her so I have prompts to talk more! And maybe draw! Time and hand permitting! I am so mentally ill about the silly little characters <3

#faux art #iterator oc #rw oc #paths left untaken #the sillayyyyyy #everything bad happens to her ever #like.......... girlies when we're doomed from the start </3 #i'm so insane guys #i have been doing stuff with her for like. SIX MONTHS. just. all in an rp server #the rp got so fucking intense #so many things happened #though i hesitate to say any of it's “canon”#i'll be picking and choosing parts from it to incorporate and changing them around :3 #looking forward to seeing how this goes

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hp-hcs · 7 months

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mattheo with sick! reader? idk something fluffy about mattheo taking care reader or angsty about reader trying to hide some sorta sickness or maybe mattheo's the sick one you ask for mattheo I shall deliver - yxdls

‼️WARNING: hella gross‼️ like, it goes into genuinely nauseating detail! i’m in a weird mood right now! i don’t know!

fine (chapter one of phoenix tears) — ex-death eater! injured! mattheo riddle x gn! reader

GRAPHIC GORE WARNING

seriously, don’t read if you’re easily grossed out. or eating. actually, just don’t read this at all. it’s pretty poorly written. i’m so sorry yxdls, for whatever this is 😭

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“…and for which scenario would each of the following listed Charms work bes-”

Mattheo was cut off by another of his loud coughing bouts, hacking into his elbow.

Your brow furrowed. “Baby, that’s like, the seventh time you’ve coughed in the last five minutes. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He waved a hand in your direction. “I’m fine. Just a little cough.”

You set down your flashcards, leaning across your bed to lay the back of your hand against his forehead. “You’re burning up, baby.”

“So you think I’m hot?” He asks with a cheeky grin, waggling his eyebrows.

You roll your eyes and lightly smack his arm with the sleeve of your hoodie. “Yes, you idiot. But you also have a helluva fever.”

He grimaced. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

~~~

It was, in fact, Not Fine™. It looked horrible. The skin was sunken in, to a worryingly deep degree, and the edges were blistered and raw, slowly leaking pus and refusing to scab over. Mattheo grimaced as he peeled off the old bandages, biting his bottom lip to keep from screaming when the gauze got caught on part of the torn edge. He was forced to look away as he hastily rewrapped his forearm, trying desperately not to vomit.

The minute he had deserted his father, his Dark Mark had begun to burn, to brand itself into his flesh. The tattoo sank deep into his skin, into his muscles, and into his tendons; Mattheo was convinced that at this point, it was entirely carved into the bone.

It would never go away.

The skin over the tattoo had first erupted with bright red blisters and a sickening rash, which sent Mattheo into a feverish daze for two days. Despite his friends’ protests, he refused to go to the hospital wing.

Nobody could see the Mark. They’d know. They’d know he had been a coward and a fool.

But then, his skin had begun to rot. It was unsettling. Not to mention that the Mark wriggled still, now more furiously than it ever had when he’d been a follower of his father. Combined with the state of his arm, the odd frantic movements of the tattoo felt like phantom maggots, crawling all over him, crawling under his skin, into his eyes, his mouth, Merlin-

~~~

“Riddle, man, you good?” Theodore nudged him and spoke quietly.

Mattheo startled, his eyes flying open from where he had begun to drift off standing up.

Sleep had become impossible. His arm was now constantly afflicted with burning, never-ending pain. Occasionally, random bursts of an even sharper agony would grate up his bones and make his teeth rattle. It felt like being Crucioed, but with no forewarning, no nothing.

“Mattheo!”

He startled again, not even aware that he’d started falling asleep again.

Theo put his hand on Mattheo’s shoulder, even just that small touch sending stomach-churning zaps of fresh pain down his arm. He bit his tongue to keep from crying out, squeezing his eyes shut as he did so.

Theo glanced around the room, waiting for the Herbology professor to turn her back before talking to Mattheo again.

“Dude, you seriously look like you’re about to keel over any second. You should go to the infirmary.”

“‘m fine,” Mattheo rubbed his eyes, his words slurred with feverish delirium. “Don’ need’a go anywhere.”

“Matty, dude, you look like a dead man walking.”

He opened his mouth to protest, when the worst pain he’d ever felt in his entire life struck him out of nowhere. It felt like what Mattheo imagined being beat with a baseball bat, run over by a semi-truck, and being Crucioed at the same time would feel like.

He dropped like a rock, the unrelenting pain forcing the edges of his vision to darken and then fully go black.

~~~ Mattheo woke up to quiet.

His eyes slowly creaked open, and he was greeted with unfamiliar white walls. He blinked quickly to rid the sleep from his eyes, before surveying the room.

It didn’t look like the hospital wing at Hogwarts, but it was definitely a place of medicine, if the bleach-heavy air was anything to go by. Maybe St. Mungo’s?

The overhead lights were off, thank Merlin, leaving the room lit only by the overcast afternoon sky peeking through the window.

But he started to panic when he saw that his arm lay across his chest, freshly wrapped and sore as all hell.

Someone saw.

Somebody saw the Mark of his cowardice.

Of his yearning for his father’s approval.

Fat tears started to roll down Mattheo’s cheeks. His sobs became louder when he saw that you were there.

You probably knew. You probably saw.

Merlin damn it. Why wasn’t there a magical version of HIPAA?

You’d pulled up the visiting chair all the way to the side of Mattheo’s hospital bed, your crossed arms lying on top of the mattress, and your head resting on your arms as a sort of makeshift pillow.

At least you were asleep. Mattheo couldn’t even fathom what he’d have done if you’d been awake.

You surely must hate him now.

How couldn’t you?

He started to raise his right arm, his only currently working one, to wipe away his tears, but the movement was held back.

He had the fleeting but terrifying thought of those cliché leather restraints on hospital beds in horror movies. Honestly, it wasn’t even that far-fetched. He was a criminal. A traitor. A psycho.

Mattheo looked down, expecting the worst.

Instead, he saw your fingers interlaced with his, your thumb slowly skating over his knuckles in a soothing back and forth pattern.

You were holding his hand. Asleep still, yes, but you were actively holding his hand. You were choosing to be near him.

Mattheo burst into tears again, but this time in relief.

If you were still by his side, despite everything, then maybe things really were fine.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

chapter two

#harry potter #fuck jkr #hp #x reader #hp x gn reader #hp x male reader #x male reader #x gender neutral reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x male reader #death eaters #x gn reader #gn reader

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thot-writes · 9 months

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MORE WEREWOLF X VAMPIRE FICS!! *slams fists on the table* I DEMAND MORE WEREWOLF X VAMPIRE FICS!!!!

how astarion would treat his werewolf gf (SFW);

Astarion is not as surprised as one might’ve expected him to be. he’s likely had a lot of experience with lycanthropes of all kinds through Cazador (that bitch)

when you’re revealed to be a werewolf, the cogs in his mind are already turning for suggestive jokes he can make about it

you actually hear him (thanks to your superior hearing) in front of his tent mumbling them to himself as he workshops them

“‘Every good dog deserves a bone…’ hm… no, that sounds too seedy. Maybe… ‘if you’re a good little pup I’ll give you a… treat’? Gods, why is this so much harder than I thought?”

you have to cover your mouth to stop your hideous snickering. hearing his process on his meticulously crafted persona is simply too cute

you always end up turning the lines back onto him anyways. after all, if you’re the dog but he’s the one on all fours and begging, what does that make him?

astarion is a little disappointed that you can never wear silver, and he tells you so. it burns you to the touch, but also it would look so good on your gorgeous skin— isn’t a little bit of pain worth it for the fashion?

you throw garlic cloves at him for suggesting it. luckily for him the tadpole negates what damage that would normally do.

loves the bloodthirst. he’ll cheer you on when you’re getting worked up & rabid during battles

occasionally you’ll have bouts where all you crave is extreme violence. it’s quite manageable, they normally only happen when a full moon is close or when you’re in the middle of a particularly nasty fight.

one time, you tackled a man who’d targeted astarion and bit half his face off. you don’t even know why you did it, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time— and your adrenaline was running too fast for you to stop and think for a second

if astarion’s heart was still beating, he was sure it would’ve fluttered at that moment. seeing you defend him with such aggression was so… romantic

he had to resist the urge to pull you in for a kiss. at least while you still had the man’s face-skin in your mouth (did you eat it or spit it out?)

as your relationship shifts less from lust and more to love, he starts to express concerns over the darker parts of your curse.

astarion knows that while lycanthropy has a cure they’re often hard to find— and you’ve little interest in one at this point anyway. but doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean he can’t help you in other ways

when a full moon is coming and a horrific, agonising transformation is upon you, astarion stays by your side and tries to alleviate the pain by showing you have his support

after attempts of trying stronger and stronger pain-killing elixirs failed to make much of a difference, he decided that perhaps just being there with you was the better option

he’s by your side and resting your head on his lap, stroking your hair and offering the occasional word of encouragement

when it’s time to transform you get magically restrained and even still, he remains. sometimes he passes the hours with reading or embroidery, sometimes he tries to talk with you to see if you’re still in there

he hopes by doing this that you’ll learn to retain some control over yourself and you won’t need to be restrained each full moon. and it’s kind of working! once, he managed to calm you down enough to give you a little pat on the head— and that’s enough proof for him that you can best the beast

you’re not entirely sure if you believe him when he tells you that though

and as if astarion needed yet another reason to hate the gur, now he has one.

as a monster, they’ll be just as likely to hunt you. he won’t let them.

even if you have no strong feelings for the gur, astarion is brimming with more than enough spite and vitriol for both of you.

honestly, being a werewolf has made you two even closer than before. you can relate on certain issues now— you’re both bloodthirsty monsters, capable of losing all sense of control and reason, and when night falls is when the people of faerun should be the most fearful— for the night is your personal hunting ground.

astarion is very supportive of a lycanthrope partner (much like he is with a durge one) and will not judge you for it. when your control lapses, he reins you in, when you’re dealing with the pain of a pre and post-transformation, he helps you through it.

on the surface, you’re two fearsome, monstrous beasts that would send an average person running— but beneath, you’re two people madly in love, trying to temper the negative effects of your respective curses. for each other.

#YES IM A FAN OF WEREWOLF/VAMPIRE PAIRINGS WHYYYY DO U ASK #I CANT HELP IT!!! THEYRE SO CUTE!!#my posts #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate iii #baldurs gate iii tav #baldurs gate x reader #reader insert #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #fluff #astarion headcanons #werewolf x vampire #vampire x werewolf #gender neutral reader #astarion #astarion ancunin

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harmonysanreads · 7 days

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CW(s) : Yandere, Implied Conditioning, Isolation, Mentions of Physical and Psychological Abuse

Thinking about being shared between Yandere!Navia and Yandere!Clorinde this time.

... Well, the term ‘shared’ might be Clorinde's preference, but Navia sees it less as an equivalent exchange and more as a continuous tug, occasional pull and sporadic yank to edify the situation battling to halt at a middle-ground. Even half a decade ago these reoccurring bouts of passive-aggression linked to but one person would have been impossible to imagine for these two. But as it is, the waves of time take away and bring along many events beyond mortal expectations.

You're like the bridge between the two torn friends, the most on-the-verge-of-crumbling bridge there is, that is. It's not that miscommunication is a solidified neighbor in this arrangement, they do tend to listen to your reasoning — or as often does a solar eclipse occur, in further precision. It's not that they lack the ability to grasp a string of rationale, it's merely sprinkles of pride distracting them from facing the truth.

No person truly committed to the path of justice would shelter a criminal this dearly and Clorinde surely loves to remind you of their benevolence in every crevice of opportunity. Navia is not far from her ; though she guises the mockery in gentle whispers, tantalizing caresses and promises of gifts if you behave and admittedly — they cut deeper than Clorinde's fleeting bluntness.

You've learned fast and well to open your mouth at the sight of a spoon and not to think of what contents are being pushed past your throat ; lest Clorinde actually digs a hole through your skull with a charged bullet this time. It would be an unsightly mess, but at least, she would be the creator of it. It dawned upon you as briskly as the electro she wields, that regardless of how many bones Clorinde had broken or how many burns her charged fingertips had inflicted on your skin, she detests the idea of you getting hurt by anyone else vehemently. The pain she causes has been emphasized to be a necessary evil, whereas the outside world will actually kill you — she'll so kindly repeat.

And there isn't much incentive for her to quit her ways when Navia is always there to patch you up, soak you in warm, bubbly waters and cushion your oh-so frail body in soft pillows. It's not that Navia never chastises the Champion Duelist, but her words are never as firm as they should be. Because, even if it's not explicitly stated, Navia supports Clorinde's roughness to a degree, as well. This realization would've saved your strength had it arrived a little sooner. Just as one cannot clap with one hand, an arrangement such as this would never be possible without a level of understanding between both parties — regardless of how much they act like they lack it.

And the moment they stop this pretense, the last door of escape will fall down before the bars of your prison as well.

#dusted off this idea from the era of the overture trailer #yandere #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere clorinde #yandere clorinde x reader #yandere navia #yandere navia x reader #navia x reader #clorinde x reader

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onlyseokmins · 11 months

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biker!wonwoo who revs his motorcycle's engine at 3am every. single. morning. in the new apartment complex you moved into.

it's a sputtering annoyance, pain in the ass, and a total nemesis for you who has to wake up at 5am for work. you thought moving closer to the city and lessening the commute would allow for more sleep but you were sorely mistaken.

but you can't move out because this is only a recent thing! everything was fine and dandy for a whole month and you cannot believe you were duped like this.

so, after the third week of being woken up by an engine rather than your alarm two hours later and occasionally missing your phone going off altogether once you fell back asleep again - you decide to do something about it.

after getting home from work, you stomp over and knock on the door that corresponds to the motorcycle parked outside it before you lose your nerve. there's no answer and wonwoo, the owner himself, darkly watches the way you play with your jewelry nervously while waiting on the porch from his smartphone.

"who's that pretty thing?" vernon teases, leering over the man's shoulder only to laugh and walk away when the older man flips him off, middle finger's black nail polish all chipped.

a couple hours later, he leaves the rowdy bar with a smirk still on his face after having watched you flounce away - but not without slapping a hand resolutely on his door one last time. strolling up to his building, hands tucked deep in the pockets of his leather jacket, wonwoo's tongue pokes his cheek playfully at the bright yellow sticky note left behind.

"I figured you might be asleep given how late you're out and about at night. however, I ask if you could please try to be more considerate of your neighbors sleeping - kindest regards :) "

he hangs it on his empty fridge.

and you think it worked. it's been nice and quiet at night, able to wake up significantly well-rested and in a better mood. even your coworker seungkwan is surprised when you don't snap at him for talking about his third kid on the way.

until two weeks later and you're awoken rather rudely not just by one revving motorcycle - but many. repeatedly. and you're shocked you're the only one annoyed by the unnecessary interruption and looking worse for wear from the lack of sleep.

on friday, you're prepared. even though you worked all day, you watched one of your favorite kickass dramas just for the moment at 3am when you heard the engine fire up. flying outside, you point accusingly at the dark figure throwing a leg over the bike to straddle it.

"wow, was it too hard for you to be quiet?!"

wonwoo's head flies around, thankful he actually put his contacts in tonight - yes, he sometimes rides without them but shh, don't tell anyone - because he can take in your appearance rather than whatever you're saying about how he should buy a new motorcycle.

you had been in bed like a normal person so of course you were wearing a comfy t-shirt and very obviously - no bra. wonwoo's throat dries up despite his drooling, noting your bare legs for free viewing before he tosses back, "aren't ya bein' the loud one, sugar?"

with that, he's quick to use the heel of his boot to flip up the kickstand and drive away when you angrily turn around at his condescending tone. the sneak peak of black lace - of all things - when your shirt rides up causing him to harshly grip the handlebars and try not to veer off the road. but not without glancing in the mirrors to sure you make it back inside safely.

wonwoo apologizes to you in the morning.

you think nothing of the man with messy bangs and thick glasses standing outside. not until the smell of motor oil hits your nose when you open the door, a familiar leather jacket matching the material of the fingerless gloves that cautiously wave hello, and the low drawl of "hey sugar, sorry 'bout last night. and the nights before that i s'ppose."

ofc you're highly tempted to slam the door in his face but kevlar boots hold it ajar while he smirks. "Our side of the city can get a little dangerous even with our territory expandin'. don'tcha think it's best to stay in my good graces?"

he thinks it's a shame that no one told a sweet thing like you about the dangerous stand-off between rival gangs in the area. your family had warned you about the motorcycle riders but most outside the city believed them to be an urban legend. but no, here you are in the middle of the crossfire and likely pissed off one of the big guns.

but wonwoo's actually quite fond of you. you slowly learn this and how dangerous he is after he begrudgingly takes you to see his leader - shooing nosy vernon who is hoverig. you're searching for your darn landlord to try and haggle a way to move out. somewhere safer.

"sweetheart, the safest you'll ever be is by jeon's side," seungcheol laughs with smoke billowing out of his mouth and you honestly think he's just fucking with you. "there's a target on your back and they already know what you look like."

well, shit.

"oh and don't bother about your landlord, my men wiped that bastard's existence off the streets for scammin' my boys... and people like you, i guess."

and so here you are and here you stay. surprisingly wonwoo doesn't push himself on you. instead, he exists like a stoic and quiet guard dog that lurks in the background that you just keep around. offering the smallest of smiles whenever you toss him a bone of attention that has your heart thumping and your gut twisting.

he hangs around the complex a lot more often, driving his bike a tad less which leads to a reduction in noise pollution and more sleep. though you start picking up the unforgettable hum of its engine whenever he casually shows up, close enough to watch over you getting off work but putting enough distance out of respect and to not rouse the rival gang's suspicion or intentions.

"besides," he tries to explain in a lazy drawl one night when you tentatively offer a beer and sit with him on your porch to ask. "you'd need to learn how to ride my bike and you have to get comfortable 'nough 'round me first to do that."

little do you both realize how wrapped around his finger - the physical one you just finished applying a fresh coat of black paint to - you are and vice versa.

you've lowered his high walls with your kind but spitfire nature and keeping his fridge filled with proper food/drinks and littered with more sticky notes. and he's pried open yours. not just with the fingers you'd disinfected, bandaged, and kissed easing gently in the wet heat between your legs that he has dreamt of since that fateful night and memorizing which spots make you moan the loudest. but also the quiet man who prefers the company of books rather than the fist fighting brawls he's always having to assist his gang brothers in.

but they are also his family, bonds forged by the blood spilled together rather than what runs in their veins. You can respect that, hands running across part of the gang symbol tattoo on his shoulder that will eventually reflect the back of his leather jacket - a matching one in the works for you, courtesy of seungcheol's partner.

you'd asked when he would get the rest of the elaborate design finished and he promises - with a kiss to your forehead and the dingy ring he'd given you (that's really a key ring twisted into a more flattering shape to fit your finger) - he would after saving up for few more years. lowkey, you still feel bad for yelling at him to buy a new motorcycle when he's so hard on money. by now, you've gotten used to the sound of the engine and the ride - of both the vehicle and the man.

for now, wonwoo is more than content with just your nails marking up his back instead and the warmth of your cheek pressed against it when he zooms through the city. although for his birthday, you put in a few extra hours and surprise him with a new bike - one that's engine roars obnoxiously loud!

yeah, he's completely in love with you and makes sure to baptize it with a mixture of your arousal and a couple cumstains that very night you gift it to him. the spot under the bridge, near the library that only you and him know about.

"when i first saw you all dressed up so cutely like you were going to sunday brunch with those bingo grannies, i thought there was no way you'd stick and stay around. but fuck, now you're all mine, huh sugar? never gonna leave me. under all those pretty layers is nothing but my sweet, desperate cockslut. hm, what on earth father joshua think of you spreading your legs and letting me bend you over my bike all the time? should i let you go to service next sunday with my cum soaking your panties and dripping down your legs?"

#fighting for my life w/ joshua fic rn #needed a lil break #ended up being a big one whoops!#this is just mumble jumble #you KNOW which wonwoo this is right - rwy beloved #ez.thots #wonu.thots #neighbor.au #svt.thots

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ultraviolet-cello · 5 months

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Gooooood morning Trigun fandom, I'm up bright and early, ready to sink my teeth into today's analysis/detailed watchthrough episode - 11. To A New World.

I can't believe we're almost done with @tristampparty. These 12 days have been a blast and I'm very glad that I got to chat abt them!! I've been in a bout of artblock recently too, so I'm glad that I can just ramble instead!

Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trigun Maximum, and CWs for. okay this one is a Lot, but discussion of violation of bodily autonomy, sexual assault and trauma, pregnancy, transphobia, harm coming to children, Millions Knives in general, Vash's passive suicidal tendencies. If I think of any more I'll pop them up here but this episode is a heavy one!

If you wanna skip those first few CWs (Totally understandable <3), you can skip the paragraphs labelled with a [CW] at the front.

[CW] Okay so we're gonna tail off the end of Episode 10 for a second, but uh. Knives in this scene is using extremely Loaded Language to outright tell Vash that there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed.

Just to be clear I do think Vash is very trans-coded (intentionally or not), and that very strongly influences how I interpret this scene - I myself am a trans man as well.

Cool, moving on! That's all really for the end of ep 10, I just needed to point out that Knives is using language that is commonly used to justify corrective sexual assault; which is pretty much what my reading of this scene is analogous to.

what in the fresh hell i got jumpscared by dub again. returning to subs hold on a moment. Like i've been checking dub occasionally to match up some dialogue and make sure I'm not being misled by Subtitle Jank but I'm one of those guys who can't listen to anything without subtitles lmao

But i also think i do get the funniest possible translation of this line - actually wait no i hate the double meaning (with Vash's body being used to kickstart the pregnancy imagery). was that intentional. who did this.

Anyway Meryl kicking Wolfwood is really funny but also like. Yeah. justified. She's having a no good awful time but like. She's so willing to believe in Vash, to chase after him even into Extremely Dangerous conditions (There's those hints of Trimax Meryl again....) and Wolfwood is being an ass here. (An understandable ass. But an ass nonetheless). Which is to say YEAHHH MERYL GET HIS ASS!!!

Knives' gay little like. bodysuit here. He and Vash have the same build but their respective clothes make them stand out very differently. Also that Knives' stuff seems to have more muscle definition (HYDRATE. You shouldn't have that Knives you need water :pensive:) which could be building towards his more intimidating appearance.

Also I'd be a fool to not show everyone my initial reaction to this

I've talked a little bit about how Vash uses his gun as a tonfa (thwacky baton) most of the time in melee combat, and I think that's a great way to show him utilizing something Knives gave him to Kill as a nonlethal weapon - in this, however, he doesn't have it and his normally very fluid very good form martial arts is flailing and panicked. Vash is pretty good at keeping his cool in most combat situations, and is a very skilled fighter. Seeing him lose that cool and just start struggling when Knives tries to grab him is :(

Once again the metal/organic dichotomy is coming into play - the creation of inorganic but the destruction that comes from the organic. Typically plant (as in flora) powers in media lend themselves to being creation powers, life, and healing. But Vash here has that plant (flora) theme but those are very much a force for destruction.

Also Knives with the angelic white, and Vash with the black.

I hate Conrad So Much (he's such a good character). Like we Know to some extent that dependent plants are self-aware enough to feel pain, to hold onto memories, to hatred, to love. They don't have consciousness the same way humans or Independents do, but they feel, they live, they understand what Vash tells them. Maybe it is a shallow form of themselves. But I think something a lot of people fail to realize is that (some, not all, because they are individuals even throughout a hivemind) plants appear to enjoy their purpose.

Once again the memory that is shared with Knives in Trimax of a woman and her child thanking the plant for her service and she smiles? After being fused, that plant held onto that memory. I've been given no reason to believe that plants in Tristamp are different, so Conrad is just,,, ignoring the subtleties of plants and taking away their agency to choose for themselves. Doubly so for Knives, who can communicate efficiently with them.

A very quick blink and you'll miss it detail is that Vash says "It was our fault humans crashed here!". The shifting blame and guilt between the two is something that is fighting the narrative allll the time, but Vash attributing to both of them as an appeal to Knives is interesting to relay how he feels.

I also don't think Vash is right, though, when he says the only reason humans abuse plants is because they crashed. Tesla was before, Chronica in Trimax has apparently seen independent fusions before (For what reason?). Like yeah to this extent it's a result of the big fall, but there'd still be problems without it. Nobody is right in this argument lmao

(except me. I'm always correct about everything ever)

[CW] Once again - violating Vash's consent and autonomy because he does not agree with or differs from Knives. Corrective violation, in this case. It's also important that it's Meryl who calls this out - she has to really really struggle for her autonomy to be important. She's small, carry-able, inexperienced, doesn't have any special powers or genetic modification. She's carrying a tiny gun from a man who can never back her up anymore. In fact, nobody is backing her up! She's out here alone! But she's sticking up for Vash. She cares about him,,,, so much

SURPRISE ROBERTO ATTACK [sobs]

Meryl pulled the nail out of him and placed his hands gently over the wound, as one might do in a casket. A memorial of cigarettes and his flask. All this will be destroyed soon, but Meryl did give him a funeral to the best of her ability.

Knives using Roberto's image is cruel as hell. Not to Vash but to ME. He's already dead you can't do this to meeee. "How do you think they'll react when they learn you caused the big fall" He will never learn it!! he never got the chance!!!

So fun fact you can actually eat geraniums. It's just that if Rem had said yes Vash probably would have eaten it right there and then. I've made that mistake before (told one of my class that nasturtiums were edible and he just ate one. right from the plant)

So; the Tesla scene. Something I do want to point out is that Rem finds them almost immediately, and Knives doesn't immediately pass out - Is he still catatonic enough to miss Rem's speech, or did he hear it? Because the reason that Vash turned out like he did is because he was awake to go through that with Rem - Knives was unconscious the entire time and didn't get to start that trauma recovery.

It's also important to recognize that these memories could be unreliable, especially as Knives tampers with them later.

I do want to know which version of the Bible Knives was reading. Because depending on translation/version, you can get Very different ideas out of that.

Anyway Knives is kind of beginning his spiral in that memory - "Humanity never learns" kinda shit, which seems to take place after Tesla. Who knows how long. But baby Vash calls that out and goes "yeah lets have faith"! Baby Knives looks a tad shocked and then Present Knives just. Cuts off the memory. What was the ensuing conversation!!! Hello???

Like he's clearly Having Thoughts (The Horror), we just don't get to know what those were.

So remember when I said it was interesting that Vash said it was "our" fault that the ships crashed, sharing the blame?

Yeah that gave Knives some ammo that just. Broke him. Shifts it allllll to Vash. Update Vash's description to running on 18 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality.

[CW] There's so many different forms of assault, metaphorical and. Not. That is happening in this scene from mind violation to Knives literally using Vash's (specifically Vash's) body as a vessel to impregnate other plants which. Hey did you know that pregnancy is a massive fear of a lot of trans men. So many transphobes reduce trans men to their capability to have children, as if that's all they're good for (even if it would kill them.), and that often leads to corrective rape in order to "remind them of biological reality". In this case, Vash is a plant, he's meant to create, and yet he doesn't. But he's still being used to create anyway.

Again, Meryl also directly calls out Vash's lack of consent and gets shot down by Conrad. The whole scene is just. Hgnrhgnhrhnrnrn. It's So,,, everything to me, because it's a really good scene and shows you how far gone Knives is in Tristamp.

There are panels in Trimax that are,,, the imagery is there, but it's very overt in Tristamp.

Also hey yeah. Why is Conrad still alive?? Did he have access to cold sleep? or it's probably the robotics but did he not think of enhancing humans that way? It might just be a temporary solution, I guess, given that he is. Actively coughing up blood.

Alright! I have finished this part of the analysis that I always Feel Strongly about lmao - I have fun doing it but that's such an emotionally heavy episode.

#cli speaks #trigun #trigun stampede #tristampparty #cli analysis

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levans44 · 8 months

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Apartment #3 - Chapter 4

pairing: steve rogers x undercover!reader

warnings: 18+ SMUT*, Neighbors to Friends to Lovers, lots of angst, heavy mutual pining, hurt/comfort, eventual smut/romance/fluff

summary: as an undercover agent at SHIELD, her newest assignment involves moving in across the hall from her target. she's strictly ordered to keep her distance—no personal contact besides the absolutely necessary. the only issue? her new target neighbor turns out to be Captain America.

excerpt:

Jessica Grace Parker December 4th, 1989 569 Leaman Place Apt. #3, Brooklyn, NY 11201 Registered Nurse NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital

It’s the undercover alias she’s been assigned as a member of SHIELD’s Special Operations unit. The mission objective was rather simple—monitor the target and report updates as necessary.

She’s gone undercover more than a dozen times, so it’s not the details of the assignment or the temporary relocation she’s concerned about.

It’s just that her target was well… more unusual than most.

author's note: an idea that's been living in my head ever since steve asked sharon for that cup of coffee in their apartment hallway. as a SHIELD agent, the reader's real name has been [REDACTED] to preserve anonymity.

masterlist

taglist: @tsofo26 @yvonneeeee @cass0419 @nekoannie-chan

Living as Captain America’s neighbor teaches her a thing or two about his routine.

He’s out the door by half past five each morning, the muffled jingling of his keys from across the hall a daily reminder that while he’s up for a jog at the crack of dawn, she's still in the comfort of her bed, eyes-half closed while she scrolls mindlessly on her phone.

He returns by 7 am, right around the time she’s leaving her apartment in fake hospital scrubs, heading to take the train to Manhattan. She’s run into him in the hallway about a handful of times, and he’d always greeted her with a friendly wave and a peppy grin, stepping aside to let her through. Each time, she'd manage a quick wave, trying not to stare at the tousled ends of his hair, or his arms through that ridiculously tight underarmour shirt.

He’s busy for most of the day, as is she, but on weekends and occasional days off she’d see him around the building, checking the mail, taking out the trash—just simple, normal, neighborly things. All so incredibly mundane that she almost starts to forget that he’s America’s most beloved hero.

Almost.

Sometimes, she’s reminded of the painful truth. That to Steve, she’s just… Jess, the nurse in unit 3.

It’s the end of yet another work day, and she’s barely managed to clamber up the last few stairs to her floor before exploding into a bout of loud sneezes.

“Ugh… fuck me.” She groans, blowing her nose into the tissue in her head as she trudges over to her door, feeling her head pound with each painful step.

“Hey, Jess.”

From down the hall, Steve waves, locking up his door behind him.

A pair of dark aviators hang from the collar of his shirt, the brown leather jacket hanging off his arm a faded shade of sepia.

And maybe its her oxygen-depleted brain, or the fact that she’s always been so paranoid about getting others sick, that she completely forgets about Steve’s super-immune system. As he starts to make his way over, she jumps back, holding both hands out in warning.

“No, stay back!”

At the confused furrow in his soft brows, she winces, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, just…” She holds up the crumpled tissue in her palm, pointing to the strawberry pink tip of her nose. “…getting over a small cold.”

Well, it was a little more than that, actually.

A dinner invite over at Phil and Melinda’s, both good friends from work. Their two young children, ages 5 and 8, had immediately welcomed her with their own musical rendition of Frozen. And it was all fun and games, hanging out with those mini-agents, until they got their tiny, grubby hands all over the dinner plates while setting the table.

Turns out there’s been a flu outbreak at their school.

Now, she’s stuck with a seriously stuffy nose and a raging headache, shivering from head to toe when its still 80 degrees out.

“Oh, right.” The confused divot between Steve’s brows dissolves as he slows his steps, keeping his distance.

“…did you catch it at work?”

She blinks, brain screeching to a halt.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Early flu season around the pediatrics unit, apparently.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.” Steve purses his lips, smiling sympathetically.

Through clenched teeth, she shrugs, stomach churning at the words that roll so easily off her tongue.

“Just part of the job.”

He slowly slips his keys into the pocket of his jeans, bouncing on the balls of his feet before pointing down the hall.

“Well, I should…”

“R-right.”

She nods quickly, stepping back to let him through.

And just as she’s about to turn around and continue heading to her door, she hears Steve’s footsteps slow down, stalling near the top of the stairs.

“Hey Jess—make sure to stay hydrated, alright?” He calls out.

And despite the fact that every bone and muscle in her body had been aching from keeping herself upright all day, all that fades away at the sight of his smile, warmth tingling from her cheeks down to her toes.

“I will. Thanks, Steve.” She grins, watching as he disappears down the stairs with a wave.

The day after that is Saturday, which means that she gets to spend all day lounging around her house, ordering in for all three meals.

It also means that she’s scheduled for her weekly call from Fury.

She’s comfortably situated on her sofa, scrolling through the newest features on Netflix, when her burner phone lights up.

Nick, never one for small talk, gets straight to the point.

“Got any updates?”

She snorts, glancing over at her living room window, the shades half-drawn.

“Just the usual, Nick. Perimeter’s secure—whole building’s quieter than a church.”

“No one suspicious?”

“Nope.” She sighs, reaching forward for the tissue box on her coffee table.

“… hmm, except for that sweet old lady down the hall. Could be a Russian spy.”

She grins at the dead silence that rings out on the other end of the line, about to rub another sarcastic joke in Nick’s face before she hears a soft knock at her door.

She frowns, glancing at the clock—6:42. She had just put in an order for delivery at a local Korean place, and her doordash driver wasn’t supposed to get here for another half hour.

“There’s one more thing I’ve been meaning to as—

“—sorry, Nick, hold on. Someone’s at the door.”

Leaving the phone on the coffee table, she walks over to her door, frowning when there’s no one there on the other side.

Jutting her head outside, she takes a quick glance down the hallway—completely empty.

She’s just about to close the door and return to Nick’s call when her eyes catch a small plastic bag in front of her door, resting on the floor near her feet.

She bends down, squinting down at the bag—inside, she could spot the top of a small blue container with a paper note perched on top. She carefully reaches in, fishing out the note to find a handwritten message, neatly written in blue ink:

I hope this helps with the cold. Feel better soon! - Steve

She stands in front of her door for what seems like a full hour, eyes carefully tracing over Steve’s writing.

When she finally returns to her living room, carefully setting the bag down on the table, she’s tempted to peer inside at its contents. She decides against it, quickly snatching up the burner phone in fear of keeping Nick Fury on hold for too long.

“Hey, sorry, I’m back.” She sighs into the receiver, feeling out of breath somehow.

“Who was it?”

She pauses for a split second, pursing her lips.

“Just my dinner. Had something delivered. What were you saying?”

Fury shifts from the other end, his chair creaking in the background.

“Well, I was gonna ask about Rogers. He seem to be holding up?”

At those words, the image of Steve’s smile flashes across her mind, welcoming her to the building.

Moved around a couple times, but… Brooklyn’s always been home.

Her eyes trail over to the plastic bag sitting on her table, and she clears his throat.

“Uh, yeah, he seems… he seems fine here.”

“You two talk often?”

And though there’s no underlying edge to Fury’s tone that would suggest suspicion, her stomach jolts nervously.

“No, not really. Just saying hi every now and then.”

“Alright, well, I want you to keep surveilling the perimeters. Can’t ever be too careful. And keep an eye on that Russian spy.”

She smiles stiffly, the corners of her mouth weighed down by the growing uneasiness in her gut.

“Will do, boss.”

She clicks off the call, reaching for the bag on the table before she can even tuck the burner back into its usual place in her drawer.

Inside, she finds a small, cylindrical thermos.

As she lifts it out of the bag, she notices that the thermos is pretty hefty for its size, its mysterious contents sloshing around inside.

Brows furrowed, she twists open the top, and is immediately hit with a gust of warm steam and the aroma of… chicken noodle soup?

You’ve got to be shitting me.

The pizza after her breakup, and now this. It feels strange to think that she’d been the one assigned to protect Steve while he’s been looking out for her since day 1. It’s uncanny almost, how someone could care so much about a practical stranger. Neighbors, sure, but it had only been about a month since she’s moved in.

And, yeah, she gets the whole Captain America spiel. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. Honest, loyal, courageous. All the qualities that made Erskine’s serum a grand success.

Yet, she realizes now that she’s barely known anything about Steve Rogers, the man who existed long before the red-white-and-blue shield.

The extent of his kindness. The nearly self-destructive acts of selflessness. The way he seems to forget, sometimes, that every single creature in the galaxy owes him their life.

He’d gladly lay down his own life for a stranger, and listen to her menial problems as if they mattered just as much as the existential threats he’s faced with on a daily basis.

Sitting cross-legged on her couch on an ordinary Saturday evening, clutching onto a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup in her lap, she wallows in her thoughts, a single question growing stronger and stronger in her head:

Steven Grant Rogers, who are you?

Apartment #3 Masterlist

note: reply and lmk if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

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sunnymainecoonx · 10 months

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I couldn't bother to draw an actual background

Been thinkin' 'bout yanberror lately.. anyways post malone I mean melon got me into the mood for draw sum cherries

This was a pain but fortunately it's dinner and I'm gonna watch more one piece :3 and occasionally stop focusing because I keep on thinking about my pirate au that I'll probably forget about within the month(and also the villains are stupidly annoying)(not in a negative way they just have they're just stupid sometimes)(and very narcissist)(though I've only seen like two big main villains and then those other unimportant ones which I'm fine with)

#he's an old grandpa hehe #nightmare sans #utmv #sans au #Undertale au #is boobiemare a tag here?#boobiemare #taggin' it anyways #...what else to tag T-T #UwU

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rise-my-angel · 1 year

Text

Bonds and Seizure

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Female Reader

Length: 18.3k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, happy ending, kidnapping, held against will, threats of violence, mentions of guns and drugs, slowburn, smut, masturbation, p in v, dry humping

Notes: Set before movie events and timeline but you don't need to see the movie to follow this story.

So far, your chances at every visiting Spain for a second time were looking quite slim. You had maybe about two hours of time to enjoy the warm sun and the beautiful waterside view of your hotel until your brother finally knocked at the door. You were only able to see him for a fraction of a second before a second man pushed through the door.

The same man who was now kneeling in front of your face with a slimy grin speaking to you condescendingly like you were a petulant child. You weren't actually sure how you got there, but judging by the slight pain at the side of your head and how strangely groggy you had felt just minutes after waking up? You guessed you had either been hit on the head and drugged before you could wake up, or drugged and hit your head on the floor as you passed out.

Either way, you had woken up to a terribly bright light as your hands were tied behind your back of the chair you were sat at. This man with dyed white hair and a look in his eye you could only describe as unhinged wasn’t even your biggest concern, nor was it the darker haired man with a furrowed stern expression standing a bit behind him that entered just minutes before this nightmare hopefully ended.

But it didn’t. This white haired man finally left you alone with this newcomer but not before leaning into his companions personal space and looking with gleeful eyes back at you, “Don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly safe in Javi's hands. Our head honcho’s are always well stocked with security afterall.”

The darker haired man shot him a sideways glare, but didn’t say a word. He stood with little move to follow, just sliding his hands up to his hips as he turns his head to watch him walk away. A small aggressive bout of Spanish flying from the white haired mans mouth, far too quick for your somewhat limited language skills to catch.

What had surprised you was after you were left alone. Looking back on it you think a degree of shock must have kicked in, you had been silent and shaking, you hadn’t really even looked at him. You’re not sure if he said something or what, but he just cut the ties to free your arms and at some point, led you into a washroom where you stood now.

The water had been on a hot setting with high pressure as you cranked it all the way right, and finally your senses floated back into the forefront of your mind as you slowly turned it down to a gentler level. You truly had taken nothing in, was this even the first stop he brought you too? Why even bother with giving you this, if you were just a prisoner?

On one hand, you could feel the sluggish grog slip down the drain and relax the muscle tension of how you woke up, but it also felt like a trick.

These were arms dealers. That was made quite clear to you, the white haired one spitting out in venom that they were much more lucrative then ‘careless coke peddlers’. You weren’t sure if that scared you more, the reach of those cartels involved in guns and weapons far exceeded that of drugs. How your brother got involved in this was beyond you.

Two of you had barley spoken, he had left for Europe around two years ago and kept quiet ever since. Occasionally he had called for money, and you were weak enough to send it to him. Never specifying what he needed it so desperately for, but you handed it over. Now it seems, he had handed you over as a payment he knew you couldn’t cover.

“You still don’t get it do you, princesa?” You could feel the vile musk of his breathe slamming against your ear as he kneeled in front of you. “You are our payment. He does what we tell him, his work pays off that debt, and you get put up as collateral.”

You could still feel the trembling in every limb, as you just told him you didn’t understand.

The man grinned in response and that's when you truly knew how bad this was. “Easy. He pays off his debt doing whatever we order him to do, and you get to go back to your cushy little home in America. He fails to pay off what he owes though? And we keep you as compensation.”

You ran your hands over your face and up over the top of your head as you stuck your entire face in the water stream. As long as you couldn’t see, you could act as if the world right outside of that door wasn’t a hell waiting for you.

He had called this a compound, and you were a prisoner. The only images able to be conjured up was cells and dungeons from too many films to count. Chained up on a harsh dirty floor or locked behind a freezing barrier of cell doors. Running wasn’t an option. Everyone here probably kept guns on their person at all times. Why not? They had them in droves.

As the hot water begun to cool though, you knew there was a large man waiting for you on the other side, if not just his own people ready to drag you down and lock you away. The other had said something about this man being in charge. How egregious was your brothers crimes that the only suitable place to store you was the prison walls of the cartel leader?

Each step you took slowly, taking your time to slowly grasp everything to dry you off, small baby steps towards where you had haphazardly peeled your clothes off. By the time you had redressed, there was nothing else to stall you. Your fate was set and you had to deal with it no matter what.

The handle was turned painfully slow, your jaw clenched and teeth subconsciously biting into the inside of your cheek. There was no breath in your lungs as you inched the door open to see who was waiting for you on the other side.

But there was none. Just a modest hallway lined with rich woodwork and high open windows brightening it with the sunlight. You leaned your head out into the hallway more, peeking as if you were being tricked. But as you slowly made your way into the hall, it was clear there was no one there to drag you away.

The hall wasn’t long but you stepped through it timid and slowly, feeling as if it went on forever and perhaps that what you wished it would do. Go on so long you never had to think about what was at the end. There weren’t that much in the way of doors.

Tall arches that reached the high ceiling that let even more sunlight filter through the building and casting a warm glow on the bright walls. There was a door in sight though once you reached the end of a hallway, a few ones in fact sparsely spaced out giving a sense of good privacy between them.

One of them, was halfway open, and the corner of what appeared to be a bed in the sight. These all must be bedrooms. You’re not sure why you went to look inside. Maybe it was the tease of a luxury you’d never know or feel, catch a glimpse of wealth before you were used as a tool to take it away from your own brother.

The room was brighter then even the others you passed, a large window with the glass planes turned outward and letting a cool breeze fly around the curtains. Moving further inside, you saw a familiar figure with his back to you looking through drawers as he mutters to himself. He seemed to sense someone entering the room as he turned around.

That same furrowed brow lightening up to a strangely softer wide eyed look. He gestured behind him to the drawers as he finally spoke to you. “There is not much here, but I can send someone out to buys some things for you, or we-” He cleared his throat almost hesitantly. “Or my assistant can help you look on the internet so you can pick whatever you want yourself.”

Your hands hung loosely at your side, fingers clenching and unclenching against the fabric of your pants. Your eyes narrowed in confusion but were too nervous to speak up in front of him.

Sensing your lack of understanding, he moved away from that side of the room to stand in the open middle, nothing on his face that screamed anything close to the threat of his other companion. He pointed to your clothes, “You were only brought here with what was on you, clearly not realizing you may want actual clothes of your own to wear. Small details are not Lucas’s strong point.”

It was hard to tell if he was just judging how cheap and uninteresting your choice in outfit was compared to the soft and rich fabric of the brown button up draping over his broad frame. Your feet switching weight from side to side, “Lucas?”

His own face fell, an unhappy sort of frown following. “My cousin. The man who brought you here I could only assume against your will.” Having his name didn’t make you feel any better. “He told me to keep you here but I see no point in making you uncomfortable. More comfortable I mean.”

A nod was all he got in return, it was odd though, for who he was that he just kept rambling after every lack of response as if anxiously filling the void of silence. “This is your room, I-hopefully it’s good enough but feel free to speak up about anything you need, more pillows, less, if the comforter is too heavy or not warm enough. I know the guest rooms tend to not have very soft blankets but they aren’t...used very often.”

The room teased you with luxury your small 4 room apartment above a small restaurant mocked you. This was nicer then your whole life. You crossed your arms meekly across your chest near your stomach, shoulders shrinking into themselves as if trying to become smaller.

The man nodded to himself, in opposite to you he straightened up more. “This is not a prison, and I don’t want to treat you like one. It’s my home, and I want it to feel welcoming to anyone staying here, no matter the circumstances.”

It was clear you didn’t want to discuss why you were here, but you couldn’t wrap your head around being given any sort of comfort or freedom.

“It’s an island which is likely why Lucas chose to bring you here, but it is large. Plenty of space inside and outside to have your privacy. Me and the people who work here don’t want to keep you on a leash, there is a security system but they don’t exist to watch your every step.”

You approached the bed, fingers reaching out to lightly trace the white blanket so untouched it almost looked new. The inside of your cheek stung from how much your teeth bit against it, but you weren’t brave enough to stop doing it, or to find your voice. You had been ready to start crying out of fear, but now they sat just glazing over enough to redden them from an unexpected overwhelmed feeling.

He spoke up one last time. “I’m sorry you probably want some time along right now, I should leave you be. My home is not off limits, you can go anywhere you like you aren’t restricted to your room. You didn’t choose to be here, but I don’t want you scared to just exist. You are free to do anything you like.”

You turned your body away from him as he passed, despite the wide path he took to not invade your personal space. Whatever distressed emotion that flickered across his features at your anxiousness went unnoticed by you your head down at the floor. You gave him just one bit of feedback before he left.

Your name. “I don’t uh, know how much he told you, but that’s my name.”

You peeked up at him, a much more relieved smile passed his face and sat in his brown eyes. “I’m Javi. If you need anything, just ask. Please. I would rather you feel comfortable then scared while you are here.”

For a while you were left alone in the room. The breeze and sun dancing over the still damp skin as you paced around the room. This guest room reminded you much more of what you imagined a vacation home would be like instead of the more sterile empty hotel like bedroom you would assume a leader such as him would bother to provide.

Despite the promise of freedom, you were still trapped on an island under the watch of people more dangerous then you could imagine meeting. For a good portion of the afternoon, you sat in a corner hidden from the view of the door. Back against the wall and arms hugging your knees pressed up tight.

It wasn’t quite a cry. There were no sobs or panic turned into gasping for air in fear. But a steady stream of tears that fell with no effort as you hid your face for a while. Body curled in protection as the soft waves of the nearby shore provided an upsetting contrast to their act as a weapon.

Once the sky said goodbye to the bright blue and simmered into a gold unobstructed by a tall hideous city seen, you found the courage to get up, to explore somewhere other then the 3 rooms known to you.

Luckily, you ran into next to nobody. There wasn’t brawny gunmen pacing and guarding the surroundings or displays of force to intimidate any island onlookers. Just normal people fluttering around doing such normal jobs.

At one point you were near what you assumed was the kitchen, sounds of a sizzling and two female voices chatting and laughing, the Spanish all too advanced for you to catch. Javi seemed to be true to his word, you found your way outside and walked the comfortable cliffs edge by the water. Well tended greenery flourished around the property with an illusion of peace.

Turns out much of your first evening here was spent out there. The splashing water the only sound you could stomach right now. You had stood arms crossed for quite a while until your legs needed a rest. So in the same spot, you just sat with your legs crossed, arms hugging your torso.

Mostly, you only had one thought swarming your brain. Why would your brother do any of this to you?

For the next two days, you kept to yourself and very little of the staff bothered you. They all smiled and greeted you as they passed you as normally as one might greet their coworker. You didn’t know if Javi wasn’t on the property or if he was making himself scarce on purpose, but you didn’t see or hear from him since that first day.

The only two people you even spoke to in fact was his assistant, Gabriela, and the woman who works the kitchen, Camilia.

Gabriela you met first, turns out you had seen her many times as she could usually be found walking a quick pace around the property usually with a stern somewhat intimidating expression either speaking rapid fire at another employee or going just as fast on the phone.

It wasn’t until you both turned a corner and startled the other when you first spoke. She quickly ended her phone call, and the stern look faded away to something much more gentle without coming across as fake or condescending. Introducing yourselves, it felt odd to act as if these people didn’t know exactly why you were here.

“I’d ask you how you were settling in, but I’m sure you’re long past that formality. Have you eaten since you got here yesterday? Camilia says she hasn’t even met you yet.” Her voice wasn’t coddling or judgmental. It almost held a parental tone to it, reminding you of a your aunt back home who would accost you every visit for not eating more and just piling food on your plate regardless.

You shook your head, fidgeting in place as you looked out a window to the sunny sky and back. “No, I uhm, it felt..weird to just barge in like that. She doesn’t know me or anything and...”

Gabriela smiled softly with an amused tint in her eye. “Trust me she wants you too. She’s been here for years and still will cook a mountain of food for Senor Gutierrez to eat anytime he’s busy enough to skip a meal. Come, she’s abrasive but not cruel.”

Clearly she was used to giving orders as she turned and started walking in the direction of the kitchen, expecting you to follow her without question. Which you did. Coming up on the room you had avoided the first night, you both walked in and it surprised you how small and homey it felt.

There were no stark silver white walls and stainless steel plastered everywhere with lifeless energy. Instead the walls were just as warm and brightly tinged in yellows and orange as the rest of the house, dark wooden counters with pots, pans, and plates everywhere without being messy and an open wooden threshold that led into a neatly organized pantry beside a spacious fridge that matched the darker counters.

In the middle of the pantry stood a woman huffing as she counted something on one of the shelves. Her hair was a light orange wrapped up on the top of her head with loose strands starting to fall out of the loose grip. “Camilia,”

Gabriela shouted to her, and the woman whipped over to the door and stood beside her with her hands balled into fists pressed against her waist. She didn’t waste anytime with formal pleasantries.

“If I had known you were going to hide from me like the plague I would have just woken you up first thing and forced the food down your throat.” Your eyes widened, body wanting to step back as a lurch formed in your chest. Not out of fear though, no this was the blunt attitude that was far more of giving a child a lecture. “I understand how Lucas brought you here like a brute, but that’s no excuse to skip meals or avoid bothering to ask me for anything whatsoever.”

You opened your mouth hoping to soften the blow and maybe just give a white lie, but she was quicker on the draw. Her finger pointing out again, too much of a stern mothering lecture to let you even consider being intimidated. “Don’t you even try. I keep tabs on every little thing going in and out of this kitchen I’d have noticed if something went missing. The rest of these people know to just mark down what they’ve taken when I’m not here.”

She nodded her head to a list tacked to a cork board on the wall by a small table and a variety of chairs, with empty drink glasses still sitting fresh. A small tally of items listed, mostly small things to munch on likely. You’d come to learn that Camilia tended to cook for the staff already knowing their schedules and just sitting it out when they would normally come in. And that Javi himself preferred to work around her and make something for himself.

At that moment you weren’t sure if you could even stomach a full meal, but she fed you anyways. Had you sit down at the circular wooden table with Gabriela next to you, her elbows perched casually on the surface an amused smile never leaving. She was far less intimidating like this, and it gave you a bit of reprieve.

Camilia asking you about your tastes, asking if you enjoyed olives only to interrogate you on what kind you’ve eaten. Apparently telling her ones in a jar from the store was the wrong answer. She huffed and turned back to the cutting board with a shaking head.

“The years I’ve worked here, having all those olive groves at my fingertips and here you are sitting in my kitchen telling me what you like came out of a cheap chain store jar.” Gabriela was laughing at that point, your face totally taken back as you froze in your seat.

This was not the kind of abrasive treatment you had expecting from forced captivity.

The next day or two it got easier. Camilia used to seeing you slink in quietly, typically after the sun already went down as she was making dinner for herself. No one was around the kitchen area at that point, and you think she understood that. Never judging you for trying to avoid people, but she also know that when you said people, you meant Javi.

Tonight was the night she broached the subject. The night sky was cloudless with the window wide open letting the colder air simmer the usual stuffy kitchen heat. For the first few minutes she watched as you pushed quietly at your food, only taking small bites before mostly filling up on water.

“Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush with you. We all know why you’re here, but believe me when I tell you none of us are comfortable with Lucas essentially holding you hostage here. The man’s not even brave enough to do his own dirty work so he dumped you onto Javi and made it his problem.”

Your head looked up at her in doubt. Sure the staff have shown you kindness, but you didn’t understand how a man in Javi’s position would have something like this thrown at him by his own people. You shrugged and leaned back onto your chair, willing your heart to calm down from the steady racing it’s done for days.

“I guess I don’t really understand what the point of keeping me here even is. Lucas told me something along the lines of wanting me to be kept an eye on by his own blood but,” You sighed. So many emotions yelling over top one another. “I mean I haven’t even seen him. Why keep me here if I basically don’t exist as far as hes concerned.”

Abruptly you leaned forward to distract from looking at her with a larger bite this time. Your breathe tightening a twinge at the realization that maybe speaking about her cartel boss was a mistake. Camilia seemed to disagree.

“You’ve barley seen him because he’s spent the past two days trying to argue with Lucas about letting you go home. Despite what it may feel like, Javi is not the kidnapping type.” Standing up she gathered your dishes and headed to the sink, her muttering just close enough for you to catch. “Whatever the opposite of that is more like it.”

Unsure as to why, but you compelled yourself to walk through the house a bit more. It was large and spacious and you couldn’t deny that it was somewhat confusing to you still. It was in that wandering that you heard the faded sounds of speaking.

Speaking though, much closer to dialogue then a regular conversation. Stashed in the end of one of the halls you hadn’t been in before was a tall sliding wooden door that sat half open. A red velvety fabric draped a few feet in front of it muffling the sounds from inside and obscuring any subtle peek you could take.

Pulling the fabric across gently, you found yourself tip toeing into a windowless room covered in soft fabrics and a couch sitting just down the slight slope to the main area and an evenly as rich looking chairs diagonal to it facing a large screen. A film playing on it’s screen in a language you didn’t even recognize, no subtitles to hint at either.

Your heart lurched in your chest though at the figure in the middle of the couch. Slouched over somewhat with a pen, scribbling at a few papers as he glanced up on occasion. He didn’t seem to realize he wasn’t alone, so you stepped closer.

His dark hair was luscious with long curls that sat messier and unkempt then that first day. A multicoloured cardigan stretched across his broad shoulders you tried to push past the nerves of how large he was and how not strong you were. Would that ever be needed?

You were about to quietly try to whisper his name, but his deep voice beat you to it. “There is plenty of room, there is no need to stand quietly in the corner.” He turned to look at you, soft brown eyes with no malicious in them nor in the tone he spoke.

You fiddled with your fingertips rooted in place, “I didn’t know this was-I didn’t mean to bother you I mean.”

Face falling into one of trouble again, his voice lowered not to a whisper but a soothing reassurance. “You’re no bother at all, I’d enjoy the company actually.” Nodding, you walked over.

Debating on taking the furthest seat from him on the chair, you opted for the further end of the couch. Hands tucked into your lap as your back sat straighter then it was used too. You glanced at his papers before looking away realizing how bad of an idea that may be. Javi chuckled though.

“You can look if you like. They’re not very interesting though, just scribbles of ideas going nowhere it seems.” Curiosity got the better of you and you tried to crane your head to glance at them without moving closer.

You could just barley make out what you recognized as characters or plot. “Are you..writing a story?”

Javi looked rather sheepish, glancing at his work and back to you a few times. “It isn’t much. I’ve always dreamt of writing screenplays. The drama of larger than life stories, trying to create characters that your audience can feel in their hearts, but my ideas in my head struggle when I actually try to write them down.”

That touched somewhere inside of you. A passion you shared but never before with someone like him. Not being able to help yourself, you were ready to drone on for far too long. Everyone did always tell you that it was boring hearing you go on about something they didn’t care about.

Javi, whether you knew it or not, felt the same way. “I shouldn’t bore you with this.” He scrambled to organize them all into a pile, off to the side. “The last thing you probably want to hear is me going on about my own work when you’re in my house against your will.”

Striking you as odd he looked almost downtrodden. As soon as that day once Lucas left the room, there was not a lot about Javi that said you should be scared of him and it was a juxtaposition you didn’t understand. “Can I ask you something?”

He whipped his head over to look at you, wide eyed and eagerly nodding.

“Camilia said that you didn’t know about any of this until Lucas showed up with me...” You fiddled with you fingertips once again, squeezing your eyes shut as you took a deep breathe before meeting his warm ones. “Why would someone who works for you..just dump all of this on you out of nowhere? I mean it just, kind of feels weird that he’s making me your problem.”

Javi’s eyes narrowed in a darker flash that you didn’t quite catch perfectly. A shift of demeanour that radiated something much more angry and serious like how he first looked to you, but simmered down as he leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. “I assume you know what it is my family does.”

You nodded, unsure if he really cared for an answer, but he patiently watched you before continuing. “I’m the one who winds up handling Lucas’s problems because I’m in the public eye, and he wants to keep himself out of it. Far easier to run this business when no one outside of it knows who your leader really is.”

That sat heavy in your stomach, if he was trying to come up with a lie then this was a weird way to go about it. “So-wait. You don’t...run all of this?”

Javi smiled without much emotion behind it, leaning back to rest against the plush couch again he smoothed his palms over his thighs. “Lucas prefers someone else takes the spotlight, and, well..” He turned his head to look at you as it rested against the back, “It’s much harder to live your own life after you’ve been raised in this one.”

You hated it, the churning in your gut and passing all the way up to your throat. You weren’t supposed to sympathize with this man, let alone sit next to him in a quiet tucked away room. But there was a distance in his eyes that rung a lot like sorrow. And it pulled at the part of you that still fought past this angry resentment you were holding.

“Why keep me here though, if you have nothing to do with it? I mean this was all about my brother and he, clearly, doesn’t work for you. I’m not exactly a flight risk why throw this onto you if you don’t run things?”

You had shifted somewhat to the side, one leg remaining over the couch edge, but the other sat much more tucked underneath you as if debating if you wanted to get comfortable. The couch very much so tried to entice you to it.

That flash of hardness returned. Javi’s eyes now trained focused on the screen as his jaw clenched. Finally when he spoke it felt as if it was being forced out of this throat in a deep grit. “I take the heat, I run his front, and in return, he forces me to bear the weight of his own problems. Why? Just because he knows I’ll do it if he asks.”

It wasn’t the caged rage behind his words, but how much you were thinking of your own brother. Your heart pulled back and forth between a sickening anxiety of how and why you ended up here, but there was a much more tender reach, desperate to find any slight modicum of meaning in what these people wanted from you. “My brother and I barely talk.”

You leaned back against the arm of the chair, your hands no longer wringing together but limp on your lap as you looked forward into nothing. “He left two years ago and ever since it’s one thing. He calls, I send him money, he calls I send him more money. No matter how much I needed it for myself, I found myself sending it over anyways only to have him just call for more months later. I guess now he figured he ran his bank account dry, so I was the next best thing to my wallet.”

You didn’t hold the resentful anger that Javi felt, yours was just pain. The sting of watering eyes threatening to fall frustrating you. Looking up, Javi now faced you more. His head tilted as he looked you over in question. “Maybe it just wasn’t Lucas who put us together.”

That wasn’t something you wanted to think about. How much in common this conversation had. Your chest filled with lead as your muscles screamed at you to lash out just to find any use for this building up conflict inside you. Javi though, refused to let it escalate.

“Would you like to watch something with me?” You looked up in surprise, his face once again a soft hopefulness as he continued. “I rarely have anyone who likes to sit down and watch movies with me, and I thought maybe it would be a nice distraction to focus on for both of us.”

He looked at you like a tall, large version of a needy child who doesn’t quite get the attention he should. Your brain told you no, he’s too dangerous to spend any real time around, but the other reached out to him in need. Like it was crawling through a desert looking for any connection to keep you alive. So you nodded. “What uhm, what would you want to watch?”

Javi shot up suddenly, his tall stature hovered over you as he moved the coffee table forward enough to give you room to move as well. “I have many options. It’s not really sorted alphabetically like I should, but more like by what kind of moods you might be in, take your pick.” He turned to look at you only to find you had barley stood up from the couch.

Your heart beat fast still, but perhaps you were just getting used to it. “Y-you want me to pick the movie?”

Javi looked taken back, as if that was a question so obvious he didn’t know why you asked. “Of course.”

You took a deep breathe, and nodded as you walked over. Hoping that Javi turned away in time to miss the sight of you wiping at your eyes to get rid of whatever tears had wanted to fall. He pointed out many suggestions. Going through what section was for what kind of movie feel, telling you what was maybe too serious or heavy and what was more fun and lighthearted.

Everything about him in that moment as someone entirely separate from where you were. Excited and passionate about you both choosing a movie together like his entire life was dedicated to it. It tricked you into feeling as if this was normal.

Just two people who enjoyed watching and writing fiction, finding something to enjoy the evening with. And you really did. None of the evening broached anywhere near the conversation of what you both were outside these walls. No you both laughed, and pointed out things you caught in the story or goofs in the production, and it was light. It was fun, and it wasn’t until hours later as you climbed into your large bed in this foreign bedroom that you went over it.

It would be a slippery slope to find any friendship in this man, and you told yourself it was a real possibility this was all a ruse to get you comfortable only to be struck like a snake bite if your brother didn’t work what he put you up for. Would it be Lucas that deals the venomous blow? Or would the curtain pull back and reveal Javi as the snake he seemed reluctant to be?

Either way, you didn’t listen to yourself. During the day little of your routine changed. Camilia still lectured you about the strange meal times you insisted on sneaking into the kitchen for, Gabriela had on many occasions explained what it is the public Gutierrez business was and how much work she always had because Javi always took on so much work himself.

You learned things about them, little tidbits that felt safer then getting to know Javi. Camilia had a large family, five boys and a loving but aloof husband who she is sure lets her younger boys do whatever they want when she’s gone. Gabriela would talk a bit about her husband. That he worked just as much as she did, but they both lectured the other about trying to convince their bosses to grant them time off.

“I know how hypocritical I am for it, but I have more resolve then he does I’ll break him one of these days.” The two of them were kind and helped ease you into living your mornings and afternoons without as much fear strangling you.

It was your evenings though that were the most usual. The next few nights, you always ended up in Javi’s theatre room, the pair of you always alone and finding more and more in common as you shared a joy for movies and story writing. Some of those nights you found yourself even forgetting that this wasn’t just a night in with a close friend.

You knew that could be a dangerous thing, but it was the thing you found yourself looking forward too the most. If not the only thing you looked forward to. He was passionate when he spoke in those times, full of life and you were so endeared towards the silly, goofy side of him that was unashamed to show their colours in those quiet, tucked away evenings.

Javi had a strange knack for helping you forget the world you both were in those evenings. He spoke to you as a friend it felt. He kept his own past vague, but he eagerly asked you endless questions. Prodding you to elaborate or having that sharper seriousness cover his face when you’d try to meekly claim your life wasn’t anything near as interesting as whatever he’s experienced.

At that moment, he stood on the other side of the room pouring a glass of what looked like rather expensive wine. Glancing up to you, he lifted the bottle up slightly better to your view as he read the label out. “Quite an uncommon one, if you ask me the honey makes it a bit closer to a mead but wine sells better. Would you like to try some?”

You shook your head, curling your legs into your chest more as you sat once again against the arm of the couch. “No thank you. I don’t really drink wine..or anything for that matter. Water’s fine, please.”

Javi didn’t waste another thought, he simply put the bottle away. Pouring you water, Javi walked back over and handed you the glass as you muttered a small thank you. A smirk forming on his face as he sat down. His body turned halfway to face you with one of his arms stretched across the expanse of the couch top. “You’re lucky I own groves and not vineyards. Otherwise I might have been offended.”

Your own fingertips tapped at the glass as he looked away from you to take a sip. Pausing right before he did so, speaking into the rim of his wine glass causing his voice to echo in a slight husk. “Though you buttering me up with your politeness doesn’t hurt as well.”

You breathed out a kind of small laugh and brought the glass up to your mouth, both hands holding it almost in comfort watching Javi chuckle to himself. The glass made a clank as he put it down on the table and turned to you once again. You both had a movie already picked out, but it sat unplayed with the screen not yet even turned on.

Instead the crackling from the fireplace acted as the soundtrack for your in between silences. Javi’s own eyes bore into yours, the corners of them scrunched in a somewhat endearing way as he seemed to look for something in your expression alone.

The orange glow dancing across his skin had your heart lurch in odd ways as it struck you that it truly painted him in a handsome light. He was making this feel more like a vacation then being held captive and you knew it could get taken away at any moment, but you let yourself fall further down the rabbit hole.

A question slipped out before you could stop it. Maybe it was out of nerves the way he looked at you trying to understand something you didn’t know, or maybe it was the need to learn something about him that kept his real intentions shrouded in mystery still. Either way he looked surprised to hear it. “Javi, why let Lucas run things if he claims you’re in charge?”

His eyes narrowed, looking deeper for that answer he seeked and you sat up straight suddenly. The sudden movement swishing some of the water over your lap a bit as you sputtered and backtracked. “I don’t mean it like- I wasn’t trying to imply anything I just- I was only..curious.”

Javi had softly called your name a few times before you finally stopped talking. He looked calm compared to your now tense, rigid posture. Afraid that pushing any limit too far would rumble this house of cards. “I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to listen carefully do you understand?”

When you nodded, Javi prompted more. “I need to hear you.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Nodding satisfied, he slid across the couch, his torso twisted so he could place his palm gently near one of yours but far enough not to invade the space. His head leaned down to etch close to your timid gaze. “I’m not going to ask you to forgive me, or demand you forget about all this and relax. But, I am asking you to settle your heart a bit. You’ve spent the past week terrified that one wrong thing will somehow push me over an edge I’m not even standing by.”

Your shoulders slumped down a tad, teeth somewhat biting at your lip as you looked at his face, much harder like your first encounter but his eyes once again holding a distant sorrow that others on the property didn’t have.

“You have every right to be terrified for what’s being forced on you, but I wish you at least will start to understand that as long as you are under my roof, there is no harm that will come to you.” One of his hands reached out, grazing your cheek to better have you looking at him. “Lucas’s men may consider you a prisoner, but I only wish to treat you like a guest, a friend. You don’t deserve to live in fear just spending time in here with me when there is more then enough of that across the water.”

A hand of yours shakily raised up, lightly grasping at his wrist. Your hand so small in comparison to his that your fingers barley grazed the ends of his knuckles. You tried to squeeze as if a hand hold and he seemed to get the idea. A caressing hold on the side of your face before letting go. “To answer your question though, Lucas is in charge instead of me, because I didn’t want to be. That wasn’t a life I ever wanted, but now?”

You whispered, partially to yourself but enough to make sure he understood you right back. “But escaping what your family puts on you isn’t that easy isn’t it?” Your eyes met and you for once felt a calmer relief at how unbothered this all seemed to make him. “I think we both know exactly how that feels. Kind of like-”

“Being a prisoner?”

His face as serious, but you chuckled instead. “Yeah, something like that.” You smiled to yourself once again sipping at your drink, now trying not to look at him. You missed his watchful eyes shine in a particular way at you before shaking it off as you spoke up.

“Alright, I think we had movie plans right?” You shifted up in place, legs now crossed almost underneath you as Javi agreed. For almost two hours, this quiet bubble you two created for yourselves kept itself around you both.

You didn’t try and press yourself as far into the other end of the couch as possible, and Javi finally felt like it was alright to sit closer to you without making you uncomfortable. One hand of his rested on his thigh only moving to grab his wine glass while the other remained laid stretched out across the way, his large hands resting on the cushions just above your head.

At some point you sat with your legs resting on the wooden table as you slinked back into the couch more. Had Javi put his arm down, you would have been in such a perfect reach to pull you into his side, but he never did.

You weren’t sure at what point in the movie you begun slipping away, but the mixture of the quiet, peaceful film on screen, the warm glow of the fireplace and the heat even just coming off of the man next to you had your eyes drooping in sleepiness.

The movie was still playing as you dozed off, but you weren’t aware of how naturally you had leaned your head onto Javi's shoulder, and it wouldn’t dawn on either of you until later, how perfectly you seemed to fit there. Instead, at some point in your dreamland, part of you could sense a pressure resting against the top of your head.

If you could pay attention, you’d have also felt the tickle of loose curls brushing across the side of your cheek, and the gentle cradle of Javi’s stretched out arm, now having pulled you more into his side. Neither of you had been awake for either of your actions, but perhaps your unconscious selves understood both of you better then your waking brains did.

By the time you woke up, your body was stretched out across the couch, a pillow tucked neatly under your head and a warm blanket draped carefully over your body. The side closest to the couch back tucked somewhat down between you to make sure it didn’t pull away. Both these things weren’t in the theatre room beforehand, and you also could tell by their immense soft material that they weren’t from your room either.

As far as you knew, no one but Javi spent any significant amount of time in here and you fell asleep next too him. Swinging your legs down to the floor, your hands gripped the blanket in curiosity. Ideas passed through your head that your still wakening brain tried to shut down whatever fantasies it so desperately craved. Logic wanted to reign over your heart and refused to give up the idea that Javi was intentionally trying to manipulate you to make you comfortable, so you’d put up less of a fuss being forced to stay here indefinitely.

Still a bit puzzled from sleep brain, you gently folded the blanket up and sat the pillow on top of it. In true movie theatre fashion, the morning sun was waiting to burn your retinas. When you stepped out into the sunlight from the darkness of the movie room, you had only two things on your mind; Javi Gutierrez, and where the hell this blanket goes.

The hallway was empty, so you walked through to the direction of the bedrooms in a calm silence. The only thing hitting your ears was the distant voices muffled through the walls, and the calming sounds of natures morning.

Part of you considered if this should go in Javi’s room, but you didn’t dare go inside uninvited. He told you that nowhere was off limits, but certain places just felt wrong. You eventually stepped quietly to a small side table against a wall in between two rooms and stacked them on top.

You hadn’t taken up much of Javi’s offer to buy you proper amenities, so your wardrobe was limited to mostly the same few pieces that you either wore on you coming here, or what of her sons spares that Camilia had brought you along with an aggressive toss of a wrapped bag that contained brand new ‘unmentionables’ as she put it. Her sons clothes didn’t quite fit, so you felt ashamed that you’re pants had just been the exact same for a week.

Everyone else here dressed in a degree of luxury. A level of wealth that made you look cheap and made you feel even cheaper. Gabriela had been kind to you as well, but currently you didn’t really want to pass her. Dressed beautifully, always looked immaculate. The face and body of a model compared to the slightly oversized hand me downs on your far less attractive body.

Stepping into the kitchen, the time of day you knew she’d be long gone and Camilia would be far too busy yelling at her own assistant, or dish boy as she would say when annoyed, to notice you. There was a bowl of fruit on the small table, and that's all you ended up picking at. Peeling a small orange looking into nothing.

So when Javi’s voice came floundering into the kitchen, you jumped in your seat from the sudden startle. The pair of them spoke rapidly in Spanish and you tried to pick up on certain words but their speed and how muddled your brain was, it was as if you never took a Spanish class a day in your life.

You felt embarrassed to look at him. The feeling of inferiority and the embarrassment of being so uncomposed around him that you fell asleep on him causing your heart to beat what felt like an irregular pattern. It wasn’t until he sat across from you, eyes wide and bright that you realized he had been calling your name.

It wasn’t even close. His perfectly tousled hair, bright face, and a soft yellow shirt no doubt a price you couldn’t even name. You wanted to disappear from how he looked in front of you. “Sorry, what?”

Nice articulation you thought to yourself. Javi clamped his hands together on the table leaning in somewhat in a nervous look with a harsh body posture. “I don’t want this to alarm you in anyway, but my cousin is stopping by very shortly.”

Your nails dug so deep into the orange that it smushed an otherwise perfect piece. Now your heart raced along with a churning of fear in your stomach. “He...is it,”

Javi shook his head as his hands spread out as if to placate you. “No, no. It is totally unrelated, but he might expect to see you stick close around.” His head tilted to the side along with a shift of his eyes. “I’m not quite sure he would agree with how much you are free to do as you wish. He prefers keeping those he...”

“Abducts? Tight on a leash?” Your voice was tight, and your jaw was clenched but your eyes felt a fear that he may demand something much harsher then Javi had given. “What uhm, what should I do when he gets here?”

Narrowing his eyes, a ferocity claimed them that froze your body in place. “You stick to my side. He wants you under my watch, but I refuse to lock you under a camera to prove anything to him. There is one more thing.”

Now that look in his eye was also shaded with anger. A painting of so much contrast to the softness he showed you in the evenings. “You’re brother will very likely be brought along.” Your wide eyes restricted your breathe together. “No doubt Lucas has ordered him not to speak at all, but he also is not above bringing him just to taunt you. I just want you to be prepared for that. My cousin loves to play mind games.”

Your nails continued to dig into the orange and Javi moved to take it from you. His arms stretched so close to you, he effortlessly peeled the rest of it off, opening it up easy for you to grab the slices. He didn’t even say a word about it. He just pulled back, leaning against the back of his chair and watched you in deep thought.

Your voice whispered somewhat, “Is he the only one?”

It didn’t quite intend to hurt but your swirling insecurity spat the words out. He didn’t react with anything other then a confused head tilt. Gabriela as her usual, came flying in the room and they both quickly went to leave. Before exiting view, Javi turned back to you with a hand braced on the threshold frame. “You know where the patio tables are, yes?”

Nodding, you didn’t quite look at either of them. Missing Javi’s harsh worry and Gabriela’s tense frustration. Nothing about Lucas’s presence made them happy and they both at this point at spoken at length how they felt about this situation with you. Your eyes glanced up just to hear what he had to say.

“Meet me there in thirty minutes. He said an hour but my cousin loves to arrive early to catch me off guard.” Gabriela shook her head with an eye roll behind him.

You nodded, but said nothing more. Seeing that man’s face would be one thing, but you knew he was dragging your brother along to rub it in both of your faces, the choke hold he had on both of you. As stupid as it was, you tried to clean up anything about your appearance. Wanting to not look so lost and out of place but there was only so much you could do. So long you could look at yourself in the mirror without wanting to cry or smash it.

To your surprise, Javi wasn’t sitting yet when you arrived. He leaned against a banister and handed you a pair of sunglasses without question. You held them out confused as he shrugged. “I’ve never seen anyone squint so painfully in the sunlight more than you.”

It wasn’t lost on you that they were one of his pairs. Almost matching the ones he had on his face right now. You noted to yourself to try and find a way to get a cheap pair, he’d get annoyed always having to lend out ones from his personal collection to add to your increasing lack of belongings.

Javi waved his hand for you to follow, nudging you ahead of him towards the patio with a hand on your lower back. Thankfully, the sunglasses were dark enough that no one could see the slow blink accompanied by a wide eyed warm feeling pooling inside you. “Just so I know, should I not say anything while he’s here?”

Javi shrugged, a much calmer demeanour then you. “He may ask you questions directly, though I am not sure if it will be to get a rise out of you or me.”

He pulled a chair out for you before finding his own. “I guess it makes sense. If I’m not thrown away in the dungeon, he probably wants me as scared and submissive as possible.” You played with your nails trying not to look at Javi which also gave you a view of the area entrance. You missed the dark look behind the sunglasses as he did with your earlier one.

Javi softly said your name. “I am not asking either of those things from you, I want you to understand that. There’s...there’s very little I can do to change his mind. All I can do right now is help protect you from him making this worse.”

The man’s slimy demeanour was painfully clear in the bright sun, a cocky uncaring walk alongside a facade of goofiness. The comparison to this show and to Javi’s time alone with you was comical. His voice climbed into your ears like a bug. “Always took such good care of your pets, cousin.”

Biting the inside of your cheek you reminded yourself to not say a word. Javi sat a little more rigid then moments before. This was the first time you had seen them together since that first day, and the previous appearance of harsh uncaring now read more like an uncomfortable civility.

Javi opted to reply in Spanish, stirring a bit of a back and forth between the two men. Lucas appeared to take joy in riling his cousin up, and Javi continued to fail at any kind of relaxing in front of him. You could tune the out for a while, they assumed you weren’t keeping up with what they were saying and you couldn’t find the energy to try.

That was until Lucas jumped forward to stretch his torso across the table. “Did you hear me, princesa? I asked to see how you’re looking under those things.”

Slowly you peeled them off, squinting still in the harsh sunlight as he looked over you. Lucas’s wandering gaze felt far more invasive then Javi’s introspective one. Nodding with a very fake smirk, he flopped back into his seat, limbs balancing themselves in an over dramatic way. “I’m impressed, Javi. You can’t even tell she’s been crying. One might think she’s been given no reason to cry at all.”

His head tilting to rest on his palm as Javi swallowed. Saying his cousins name almost in warning, again Javi opted to respond in Spanish. You couldn’t be sure if it was because he didn’t really want you apart of this conversation, or if he maybe was annoyed enough that getting all of that out in his native tongue was easier then translating it in his head.

Lucas laughed at a few things Javi clearly didn’t say in jest. He ignored you for a while, the pair of them going back and forth with Lucas trying to talk over his cousin multiple times. You couldn’t be sure how long you had been out there, but it was long enough that the sun had now trailed itself closer to the peak in the sky.

Without knowing where this conversation went, Lucas suddenly slapped Javi’s arm with playful force before leaning his arm back onto the chairs top, one ankle resting on top of the opposite knee. His head leaning back he called him out. Your brother.

He watched you tense up without daring to move, not bothering to look back as he ordered something harsh to the man. You knew your brother was looking at you, but you couldn’t stomach it. Part of you previously wondered if what you felt was sorrow for the situation he also was in, but now that pit in your stomach just made you want to cry.

He tricked you here, and now just stood there watching you chained to this place as an offering for his own shortcomings. He didn’t care about you, but crying here was exactly what Lucas wanted. His voice creeped over to you, as he now stood in between you and Javi’s chairs. One hand braced on the tops of both.

“Take a good look, princesa. ‘Cus I may not feel as generous if you end up coming over to me. Certainly not as generous as big boy over here.” He slapped Javi’s back twice, causing Javi to genuinely flinch. Jaw clenched but he didn’t respond as Lucas moved more to lean over him and speak closer to the side of his head.

“Our new friend here,” Nodding over to your brother, “Isn’t settling in as well as his female counterpart is. Maybe you should break her in for me. Just in case.” He whispered into Javi’s ear before slinking back to where he previously sat, but just flipped his sunglasses up into his hands as he looked around him.

It was low and not in English. You didn’t catch it, but Javi did. When you tried to lean forward, hoping to quietly see if Javi was okay, his hand shot out and grasped your knee. A tight grip that stopped you in your tracks as he gave a slow shake just once.

He looked as tense as you felt.

“I’ll be back in a few weeks, cousin. Keep everything in top top shape for me, would you?” Lucas winked at you before sipping his sunglasses on and turning to your brother. Spitting harsh words at him as they finally left.

Javi’s hand didn’t leave your knee, but he did use his free one to toss his sunglasses onto the table and run a hand over his face. “Javi?”

Your voice was so small and meek, it stirred something within him clearly. Javi suddenly turned more to face you, his hand now grasping yours and his hold on your knee now sliding up to your lower thigh, a much more soothing spot in his large hands. “I don’t even know where to begin, an I’m sorry doesn’t seem good enough, but I am so sorry.”

You felt confused by how earnest he was when he was the one who felt the brunt of whatever Lucas spoke about. “Javi, I’m fine it’s like you said he’s just trying to rile me up.”

He squeezed your hand, his eyes closing for a moment as he breathed heavily through his nose. In a shocking move, Javi let go of your hand to rest gently against your cheek. “I didn’t want this for you. I wanted to find a safe way to return you home, but that is not an option anymore.”

Your hands hovered in mid air, your anxiety rising like bile in your throat. “I- what does he want?”

His eyes flared in a raging no. “All he cares about is finding ways to control people for his own entertainment. He’s done a great job at this with me, but he will be far more unkind to you. I’m family but you are like money. Nothing more then property to him.”

The blood in your veins felt as if it had frozen solid, a paralyzing fear of what that meant. “Do I at least...am I not staying here anymore?”

Javi’s grip on your cheek tightened as well as his hand slipped further up your leg as he leaned in to make you hear him loud and clear. “You aren’t going anywhere. I don’t want to scare you, but I’d rather not leave any chances for you to find yourself alone with him and find you suddenly nowhere I can look.”

Your hands had dropped to your lap but nails were digging into the skin of whatever fingers they reached. “So, what? I’m just put under a closer view of the cameras, be watched at all times.”

Javi’s head dropped. His gaze clearly realizing how naturally he had grabbed onto you he cleared his throat and pulled his hand away from your upper thigh while his other let go of your cheek gently. He was still quite close to you though.

“I want to keep your life here as normal as possible. I don’t think I’m wrong in guessing that you’ve started to find some comfort here, at least with me- us. I want to keep giving you that, but I think it will also be safer to have you close by me more often.”

It felt out of place to have that warmth swim over you, Javi truly much more fierce when put on the offence, then perhaps he normally lets himself be. “Alright. Is everything still okay? Between us I mean?” Your eyebrows raised in a hopeful look that you knew extended from the gaze he couldn’t see.

Javi finally gave a real smile. Huffing a relieved sigh, “Of course. I would be quite sad without the one person who actually shares so much of my own interests.” Standing up, Javi offered you a hand to help your as well.

His hand was just so large, and so warm. The twinges of roughness from the life he leads hidden in between the gentle smooth skin felt nice in your own hands. Javi beckoned you to come with him away from the patio, only letting go of your hand after he lead you up the small staircase until your grips simply lost by distance.

Neither of you mentioned how good it felt to know how matching your hands fit together. You were trying to find a settled ease from this looming dread clouding your future, while Javi was distracted with finding a way to give you a life where you were happy here.

For a while though, that did actually work. As long as Lucas was out of the country, there was peace in Javi’s Mallorca home. You both spent increasing amounts of time together, and with no direct eyes on you Javi was able to sneak you into town for what he hoped was a fun day trip. He knew Lucas had his own guys watching, but without himself present, none of them would dare try anything.

Unbeknownst to you, beneath the tender heart in Javi, there was a merciless protector. His shining smile and easy laughter made you forget that he was a man raised in arms trading, and he was one with an aim and shot far better then any of the unruly men Lucas preferred to keep around. So for once, he wasn’t worried.

That particular day he finally convinced you to let him just buy you what you needed. He was sick of hearing you bashfully decline and just shoved you to his below ground garage with a hand on your lower back. “I’m not taking no for an answer anymore, I want you to have your own belongings here. Not rely on whatever scraps you ask from my employees trying not to be an inconvenience.”

The drive to town was beautiful. The short tunnel to the mainland opened up to a cliff side covered in plant life with winding roads that showed off the unobstructed view of the sun beaming against the water. You had barley said a word the entire drive there, your eyes refusing to focus anywhere else on a look of nature you never encountered in your entire city life.

Javi had continuously smiled over at you, his heart fluttering at the true awe on your face, nothing to hold it back and bury it deep. His hand barley left you on the streets as he guided you through to stores he thought you may like. Many times you had denied his offer of more expensive places with a luxurious selection. You simply didn’t feel yourself in it.

Every time you peeked out of each dressing room, you’d ask “Is this too many” Nodding to the small stack in your yes pile. Each one had maybe 4 things, and each ask Javi would frown at you.

“We’re here to buy what you like, not what I tell you to, hermosa.” It was a new term he called you. He started one night as he shared a small edible with you and it slipped out. He had thought of you that way for weeks but he only felt brave enough to let it stick after it already slipped out.

On the second to last store, you nodded and went to put your regular clothes on when he shouted slightly over the door. “We are not finished until the backseats are full, remember that when you keep putting things back.”

It made you flush behind the door. Things between you both felt like you were two normal people who had known each other for a long time. His goofiness helped tame the ever present anxiety of your future, and your polite bashfulness stirred a much deeper emotion tucked away in his heart.

For now though, maybe you wouldn’t tell him half of the reasons you put the clothes options back, were because as soon as you looked at them on you in the dressing room mirror, the harsh lighting pressing right down on you? Every flaw screamed in your face that you were trying too hard. Luckily Javi hasn’t yet questioned why you’ve requested a size up from what he knows you fit perfectly more then once.

He was a rich, caring, and incredibly handsome man. He didn’t need you by his side painting yourself up as if this was anything but two trapped people playing house. Each touch and brush of your hands, every time he leaned down to say something quietly in your ear mocked you. You just wanted to play house a little longer before this little play time was thrown away forever.

He made it so easy though. You both currently sat at a little table in a small plaza clearing, opting to eat something before making the trip home. Careful eyes watched as you self consciously took small bites with little substance and typically when you thought he wasn’t looking. If you were looking at each other, you’d cover your mouth to spare him of your completely neat and inoffensive eating.

You weren’t like this before and you both knew it. He was asking why, but you were trying to come up with a lie for it. It was as if you didn’t like him watching you eat, and you were well aware of why. Each bite sinking down into your stomach and reminding you that you’re not sure if you have never seen such powerful wealthy people, with any woman on their arms that wasn’t essentially a gorgeous, tiny waist having supermodel.

Wanting to get you talking, Javi leaned back comfortably against his chair with a soft smile. “Tell me, what’s one food you truly miss back in America?”

Instantly you smiled to yourself. It was such an easy answer there was no hesitancy in your voice. “It’s actually kind of stupid. Everyone always has such varied answers, but here I was always defaulting to soup, or just a nice bread. Like my stomach is stuck in peasantry heritage mode.”

Javi grinned, a mock curious look on his face. “Is it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you make soup in your time here.” He knows why, the same reason he tries to make his meals when Camilia is the busiest.

You laughed a bit, “I mean they taste great but look like garbage. I’d never hear the end of it making it next to Camilia. Not to mention the reaming I’d get for how spicy I make it.” You both chuckled, having seen her smack Javi for doing the same thing to his own food.

His tone amusingly mimicking her patronizing way of lecturing, “What good is giving me all this for when you’re just going to blast your taste buds off without me?” Once again, he watched you cover your mouth as you laughed as well. Flipping his sunglasses down from his hair, he sat up. “Would you like to sit and finish, or do you want to make our way home before the sun sets too low to catch it?”

He called it home, and you didn’t even consider that he meant his and not yours. But you felt as if it had become home. When left to your own devices things at his home were so peaceful and calm. It encouraged you to relax more then the city. Shoulders loose from their tension and only rarely creeping back in the middle of the night in your too big bed.

You nodded at him though, gathering your bags before Javi non nonchalantly grabbed nearly all of them. You yelled out mostly in play, “I can carry those, you know?”

Javi twisted his face as you caught up beside him. “You eat, I’m more then capable of handling a few bags. Besides, only one of us has any upper body strength.”

Your face fell flat at the insinuation, but honestly you were more amused then annoyed. “Thank you for pointing out how week and feeble I am. I am so humbled by your complimentary flattery Senor Gutierrez.” Javi rolled his eyes as he bumped you with a heavy clump of bags in his hand as you raised your hand in mercy as you got into the passenger seat.

Just as you got out of town earshot, Javi’s spoke up over the gentle breeze. “Do you miss it? Your food from home?” He made a noticeable clarification when you turned your head very quickly to look at him. “I can’t imagine anything quite can compare to where you came from.”

Does it though, you wondered. If you were here of your own accord, if you didn’t know Javi because you were thrown onto his life drugged and tied up, would any of this be possible? Or would you still be back in your tiny apartment too afraid of taking chances to even move to a better building? Maybe you didn’t want to think about it.

“Sometimes it feels like I do.” Javi glanced at you curiously before looking back to the road, waiting for your words to catch up. “There was never anything special for me back home other then that's where I lived and called it. But I also can’t give up why I’m here. That this is all just set dressing and when the curtains finally close I’ll just be trapped in the dark.”

You both knew it wasn’t anything close to food you were talking about anymore, and Javi’s knuckles tightened much more against the steering wheel as his heart did the same to his chest. “Home is where you feel you belong. And Lucas, even your brother would rather you not go back to that. I can’t blame you for wanting to leave here.”

His own voice felt deep, a husk to it as it forced through a scratched pain that he tried to hide. The deepness flowed into your airway until it sat into your stomach, and you felt that sickening feeling once again. The longer you were here, the less you’ve thought about back home. But you didn’t know if that’s what Javi wanted to hear. So you switched gears.

“So are you sure you want to watch all three of those tonight? I know you have an early start in the morning, I don’t want to keep you from that.” You saw him smile, maybe more of a smirk as he took his sunglasses off of him for good in the golden sunset. He was so handsome it was cruel.

His chuckle was just as cruel, and for more then one reason. “You say that as if I’m not also keeping you up. You promised you would come with me tomorrow and I’m holding you to it.”

You sunk in your seat somewhat, arms crossing your stomach to put pressure against that heavy feeling inside. “Oh yes, I can not wait to look at trees all day.”

Javi pinched your thigh, making you yelp that dissolved into a giggle of his name. “I can always send you over to one of my partners. Have you crush grapes in a vineyard all day making your favourite drink.” He taunted as if he didn’t specifically gift you your own little drink fridge in his theatre room, full of your preferred soda as it was pushed comically up against a shelf of ecliptic wines.

You threw your hands up in surrender. Shaking your head with a barley concealed smirk at his chuckle of victory. Indeed, Javi made it dangerously easy to forget you were stolen from your home to find each other.

It was one particular day that things seemed to rear their ugly heads for the both of you. Neither of you had even realized Lucas was on the property until he walked into Javi’s office with Gabriela giving Javi a very pointed look behind him.

The door was shut behind her as she left, wondering if he had come alone or if one or more of his cronies followed.

The only one that mattered though, was the one who snuck up on you as you sat by a natural overhang. Legs dangling in the open air as you mindlessly drew the view in front of you. Suddenly though, your sketchpad was send careening down onto the rocky shoreline as a hand covered your mouth and yanked you backwards onto your feet.

Instantly you dug your nails into their hand with a muffled yell, only to discover the person grabbing you wasn’t all that much of a fighter. “Ow, fuck knock it off.” That uniquely obnoxious tone only belonged to one person. Right as he let you go, you spun around with a burning fire ready to explode in your eyes.

Him being not that much taller then you, he raised his hands in defence backing up. “Hey, hey, whoa calm the fuck down it’s just me. I wanted to talk, Jesus.” He looked down at your barley red nail imprints with a wince. Not bothering to care about your rage towards him.

Your own hands clenched at your sides, you wanted to be aggressive, you wanted to fight or even hit him, but you weren’t like that. You weren’t raised that way, and you know damn well he only learned to be that way after getting into whatever illegal gig he had going on back then.

“What do you want? After everything, what could you possibly have to say that I care about?”

At least your brother had the decency to look sheepish, rubbing a hand behind his neck. “I was in a bind, okay? Got a gig with this Spanish dude, moving a couple things over the borders and you know things just escalated.”

Your head fell into your hands, eyes squeezed shut as your overwhelming anxiety threatened to make you cry. “How does that translate to you selling me off to a fucking-” You looked around to see no one, but lowered your voice anyways. “An arms cartel? How does that just happen?”

It was hard to ignore how bad he looked. The bags under his eyes were dark, and his posture screamed overworked to the bone, but it was hard to feel sympathy for any of it. He shuffled back and forth debating if to sugar coat it or just be stupidly honest. “Okay I mean, look, fucking...I took out a loan to make smuggling this shit easier and I kept owing this fucking shark more money and you kept giving it to me,”

It was hard to keep the tears at bay. Just glossing over how much of a burden he put on you in the first place. You shouted his name, “Get to the present, please.”

Fidgeting non stop, he had the gall to roll his eyes before continuing, barley even looking back to you. “Look, he bailed me out of the fucking debt I was in,” he clearly meaning Lucas you assumed. “I didn’t have enough to pay him back which he fucking knew, and he was like you owe me big time and you eventually came up and I don’t know man it just got out of hand and now like, now we’re here. Shit.”

Your inhale was shaky, the stuttering of trying to force a choked up cry from showing it’s weary head to him. “What am I supposed to do then? What did you expect me to do here? I have no idea what Lucas would even do to me, and I’m really don’t want to find out.”

You knew you weren’t at crying yet, but the sting behind them told you they must look red from the strain. He didn’t even seem to care. He just looked around worried for his own sake. “Look, I’ll figure some shit out. Get you a fake passport or something, just trust me okay?”

It was so strange to you, the realization that after everything that’s happened and whose done what to only find out that the person you trusted most was the very man you were told was keeping you here. Javi was the only one who showed you any kind of care for your well being, or just you as a person. You didn’t know if that made you feel devastated, or somewhat relieved that there was a strong likelihood that just maybe, Javi’s been nothing but entirely truthful to you.

Honestly? You didn’t care if your brother helped you. “Why are you even here?” He looked at you confused and you just felt more upset. “Seriously why are you here? Bothering to find me? To try and absolve yourself of guilt? To get my blessing for trying to sell me to a man who would have done god knows what with me?”

You had more to say, you had eons of yelling to give, but it also just wasn’t you. You didn’t feel it in your heart to lash out so much, and there was no energy left in you. So you started to walk away.

He grabbed your arm, but you pulled it away. Ignoring the second attempt as a grab and him yelling your name. You brushed past him, the only force you could summon being shoving his shoulder slightly with yours, but he always being the obnoxious loud mouth he is needed the last word.

“You know I came all the way here to see you and this is the thanks I get? I could get in shit if he realizes I’m not by the docks you know? You’re so fucking ungrateful, as usual.” The more you responded the louder he got and the quicker your insides wanted to cry.

You turned around, ready to yell at him, but nothing really came out. You just stared at him with a deeply brewing thought that maybe you didn’t want to go home. Maybe you didn’t want to just go back to the life he carelessly tore you away from. What did he really care if you got out of this okay? What did anyone here care.

The tears finally started to fall, and you just tried to wipe your cheeks, but it was useless. You just stared at your brother for a while before walking away entirely. He didn’t care what would happen to you, so why should you care about what happens to him. Maybe no one really cared, and the universe was trying to tell you that.

That anyone who seems like they care about you, might actually not. You weren’t sure anymore that anyone even should care.

Without really thinking about it, you made the path up to the guest room you were in hoping that you could just get away with crawling under the covers for the day and will everything to just stop. Javi on the other hand, had the opposite feeling.

He couldn’t be sure what exactly his cousin was planning, but Javi got the feeling it was nothing he wished to be apart of. There was a malicious glint in his eye as he vaguely hinted at some bigger plan he had just started the works for. But what he wanted from Javi, was to make sure he tends to a public image a bit more in the coming weeks.

“Have Gabriela start calling out favours for a nice big party for you, lots of people, lots of eyes on you and all you need to do is be your wonderful self, Javi.” Both of them it wasn’t out of his cheer familial affection, but the less Lucas involved him the better.

Javi asked about you though, right before Lucas walked out the front door. “You can’t just dangle threats over her head indefinitely, she’s done nothing to deserve this and you know that.” He rarely ever confronted his cousin about anything with conflict, but it ate away at him.

How dismissive he was about your well being. Lucas though, shrugged like you were an afterthought. “Her boy’s turning out to be quite a good little solider, pressure does wonders for motivation. Do whatever with her, cousin. I’ve got bigger prospects on my plate now, she’s your servant to keep or whatever you have her doing.”

As if the world craved irony, you walked up the steps just as he stepped out into the sun. You froze in place, whatever bravery leaving you in a chilling crawl up your spine as he smiled at you. Your shoulders rose up when he paced around you like prey until you looked at him.

“I’ll see you around, princesa. Hopefully my dear cousin will treat you kinder then I would, such a short temper he can have. Runs in the family.” He flicked at your hair, causing you to tilt away eyes shut in disgust as he laughs to himself. Fading away into distant yells of orders.

Javi stood tall and huge in the doorway, one hand still keeping it open, the other resting on his hip as he looks down, tracing from the floor to yourself and back again. Lost in thought, just as you were lost in general. Eventually, he noticed your reserved silence, and beckoned you over with a wave of his hand.

Grabbing yours gently as he led you up the few steps his hold lasted a beat longer then what would be normal before pushing you forward on your lower back as he stuck so close to your side, his hand teetered on resting on your hip. “I think there are some things we should talk about.”

There was no way Javi didn’t notice how much you tensed up, how frozen you became as the gut wrench of just what would become of you stirred. You wanted to just go back to the other day, how much you loved just being out and about with Javi. Like you two belonged like that. You wanted that stupid little world you had together to not turn out to be harmfully fake.

You had never been in his office before, but it looked painfully normal. As if you had been expecting something grand or secretive, but like so much else about Javi, it looked as if there was nothing dangerously extraordinary about him. On the opposite end of the door was a balcony, glass doors wedged to sit wide open with bright curtains pulled to the side as they blew lightly in the oncoming breeze.

Everything felt so upside down. You were supposed to want to go home, escape this strange sort of kidnapping and yet you looked out to that balcony. Seeing the blue sky with such crisp fresh air waving over the island landscape, and you dreaded having to leave it behind.

Javi though, didn’t look much better. He leaned against his desk, perched just on the edge with his fingers tapping at the wood on each side of him. Nothing about right now made any sense to either of you. You had so much to say, and turns out as soon as you spoke up Javi also felt the same need.

“What’s going to happen to me?”

“There’s been some change in plans.”

Javi’s eyes looked at you, wide but bordering on heart broken at how defeated you sounded, but all you could do was seize up. Something that had become too common of a response. The only change in plans you knew of was the worst case scenario, and you knew you weren’t anywhere near ready to be forced to give this us.

“I’m sorry. You...you go.” Even you could hear the exhaustion in your voice at this point.

Javi nodded, mostly to himself as he considered his words. “Lucas came to discuss a change in some of his plans. Turns out your brother has proven quite useful to him,” You winced at the mention of him. Of course he would be useful to these people, because selling you out clearly wasn’t weighing heavily on his conscience. “I’m not sure exactly what they have started planning, but Lucas assured me it is bigger then what he’s done before. So he’s deferred some decisions onto me.”

Your eyes trailed on the ground. “Meaning what happens to me.” Not able to look at him, you missed the awkward distress he wore on his expression. A stuttering of not being able to decide exactly what he should say and how to cheer up such a defeated mood on you. You expected the worst and he felt ill at thinking it was directed towards him.

His chest rose and deflated in a large sigh, crossing and uncrossing his arms wishing you’d just look at him. “I tried my best to make you feel welcome, to treat you like you deserve and hope it helped distract you from how you were brought here. I never liked the idea of holding anyone hostage, let alone having to keep you trapped in my own home against your will.”

Javi pushed up from the desk, pacing over to the balcony and braced his arms against the railing. You followed him enough that you kept a hand lightly on the edge of a glass door, his wide shoulders taut with stress much deeper then just you. You debated saying it, but spit it out anyways. “My brother came to see me.”

Javi’s head lifted up, but didn’t turn to look at you. “Today?”

You nodded even though he wasn’t facing you. “All he wanted was to get me to forgive him, but it was clear it didn’t really matter. He just didn’t want to feel guilty if something happens to me, but not enough to do anything about it.”

Nails tapped rhythmically along the glass, and your subconscious finally caught up to your mouth. “I guess me being here never really mattered in the long run. If Lucas just decided I’m your problem now.”

Javi’s response was harsh in his tone. Deep and almost rough with a boiling up anger. “You are not just a problem.” Your heart lurched painfully but he kept going. “Ever since you arrived, I’ve been torn apart. Because very quickly I knew why he put you with me. Every chance my cousin has to drag me back into this life he takes, and letting me get so attached to you only to rip that way just before I could truly explore how I feel? It’s an easy way to control me if you ask him.”

Your brows furrowed, “But I thought he said that...it’s up to you now?”

His head tilted somewhat, and you found yourself stepping out more onto the balcony. Giving a wide space between you still not knowing where this was going.

“He did. He’s moving onto bigger prospects, and using you to force my hand no longer applies anymore.” Finally he flipped his body around, and instead of a harsh glaring intensity you found only a crestfallen expression, one that broke your own heart at it’s sorrow.

“Which means he doesn’t care if you just send me back to the States.”

He was quick to answer. “Is that what you want?” Your eyebrows raised in confusion at him. So he repeated the question. “Is that what you want? To go home to America? That’s what you’ve been wishing for this whole time is it not.”

His words were clipped, and there was something beneath the surface that might have been just too deep for you to dive in to find on your own. “I thought that's what I wanted.”

Looking back out, the sky was still as clear and blue as it always had been since the day of your arrival. At first you thought it was a taunt. Mocking you for how bright the world shined onto such a dark experience. “Everyone knew why I was here, but they went out of their way to know me, make me feel welcome, try to make me belong even though I should be just a footnote to them.”

Your arms braced on the railing, not quite like Javi though. You crossed your forearms across the length of it and rested your upper chest onto them, knees bent back to brace yourself up as you looked at the water. “You were supposed to hate me. That’s what I thought when I first met you. Lucas was so frustratingly chatty, but you came in just so, large and silent and angry that I couldn’t help but assume it was towards me. But we talked. We talked and I got attached.”

The warmth of his closeness overwhelmed one side of you, his shadow casting across part of your view as he came to your side. One hand resting close to where your elbows bent with the other on his hip. Those large brown eyes looking deeply at you with that internal question you didn’t know.

“Do you really think you’re the only one who feels that way?”

You looked up to the side, struck with how softly he looked at you. Sliding to the side, you leaned against the railing mimicking his posture, but your own hand hovered around your torso not quite sure how to stay. “I hoped you did. Sometimes it really felt like there was something, but other days I couldn’t help but worry that it was all just an act...trick me into being complacent. But then you look at me like that,” You dropped your gaze along with your voice. “And then everything just gets muddled.”

Trickling forward, Javi’s hand inched closer to yours. The buzzing need to touch you moving through this entire body. “What I feel, hermosa, isn’t fair to you. I should be sending you home on the first plane out, giving you your life back no question. I just didn’t know how much the right thing to do would hurt.”

You looked back out to the water, eyes squinting at the bright sun reflecting off of it. “Going home was all I wanted. I had nothing to do with this until my brother was too stupid to pay back his own loans. But now going home feels like the last thing I want to do, and maybe I should be the one who feels stupid for that.”

Javi’s person stood now closer to you. Not pressing against you, but giving you much less room to back away before you hit the edge. There were no words between you for a moment until Javi mumbled in a somewhat aloof, amused tone. “Maybe we’re both stupid.”

Now that got an honest to god laugh from you. “I think you might be right about that one.” For that moment the burning tension took a notch down, and it felt so much more like any other day you’ve grown to adore with him.

Your name fell gently off of Javi’s tongue. His fingers pressing gently against your cheek to look up at him. His feelings weren’t unfair, it was how beautiful he was. His hair always curled so perfectly, always enticing your hands to itch over through them, face framed perfectly by his nose and facial hair that would burn against your skin in an addicting way.

His eyes were the worst though. Big and so transparent with how he felt, and now you had to look into them with nothing but a screaming desire in them that made you melt. “I need you to tell me. You have to be the one to say it, make me send you home. I might be too selfish to do it on my own.”

Javi’s eyes fluttered shut as your hand gently held onto the wrist close to your face. Your thumb tracing over the skin as his pulse grew faster alongside your own. You smiled though, and chose a side you never expected.

“I’m stupid, remember?”

It wasn’t long that Javi’s expression made you doubt yourself. Eyes shut tighter as his face pinched in conflict. Barley opening them, Javi muttered roughly in Spanish before his fingers slid to let his hand encompass your whole cheek. Very quickly his other one joined the opposite side, and sealed the distance with his lips.

Unlike his soft and sometimes silly disposition, Javi kissed you anything but that. His hands pulled in your face up towards him as he wasted no time in hardening his kiss. Lips demanding from you, forcing you to surrender to him in ways he never asked before.

Your hands found their way to his chest. The orange shirt leaving so many buttons undone that there was no shame in how much chest you could touch. Palms sliding over his skin and mindlessly rubbing up and down the length of his torso. Feeling his muscles twitch as he hesitated in his kiss, before moving one of his hands to pull you in closer behind your back.

Holding you closer to the back of your neck, Javi deepened the kiss, teasing you with his tongue and bites, almost nibbles against your lip. The sharpness of his teeth bringing high pitched gasp from you, only to have Javi consume the sound and grant himself access to you more. His tongue teasing inside of your mouth, you started to tremble against him.

His tongue grazing against yours and pulling back to kiss you rougher just when you wanted to return it. You could feel the burn of his facial hair against your skin and no doubt it will haunt your memories of how much you wanted to feel it elsewhere.

One of his hands wandering to your side, pushing your shirt up just enough to grasp at the skin on your waist he could blindly find. Javi once again tasted you with his tongue only to deepen it greatly as he roughly pushed you the remaining distance against the railing.

Your fingers tightened against his chest, finally sliding up to the back of his neck and into his hair. The softness amazed you, as well as how easily you could rake your fingers though it. Shivers running down Javi’s spine he stuttered against you, groaning into your mouth. His hips pushed against yours in an instant reaction to the feeling.

Finally summoning the strength to pull back, Javi parted from you but barley left your touch. A tiny string of saliva still between your lips, Javi pulled your chin into him as he took just once more needy kiss from you before pulling back, resting his forehead against yours as you took longer to catch your breathe.

“I won’t make you stay here, hermosa. But if you did, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to prove myself to you for it. I am too selfish, I’ll do anything to keep you here if you let me.” A needy hum leaving his throat as you now ran your hand through his hair much more gentle, almost soothing.

“If you’re selfish, and I’m stupid maybe we were meant to fit together like this.”

Javi still shook his head, as if unable to grasp why you would give him this. He moved to brush his nose against your hair before you both moved closer into the others arms. He gripped you as if this was the only thing he was ever allowed to have, and it was possible that he got to experience very little like this.

You both held one another for quite a while. Enough to feel both of your bodies relax into one another settling a calm over the turmoil of this morning. His voice vibrated against your chest as he spoke. “Gabriela and Camilia will certainly be happy.”

Pulling back you looked at him with am amused but questioning smirk, neither of your hands willing to leave the other yet. His own running over the top of your head, before nudging against your chin and back as if unable to chose where to touch. “Gabriela called me an idiot anytime I said you couldn’t possibly share how I feel. And Camilia? She just yells at me to move you into my own room already.”

His face was flat and eyes rolling at just how much he heard an earful from the woman if he so much as hinted at sending you home. Clearly not a sacrifice love for their own good kind of person. You chuckled, your cheek resting more in the palm of his hand.

“The guest room bed doesn’t exactly have the most comfortable blankets to be honest.”

If at all possible, his face fell flat even more. His eyes narrowing at you as he pulled away keeping his hands on your forearms. “I thought I told you to bring up anything you’d like me to change for you?”

Your shoulders shrugged, smile much more sheepish as you looked off to the side. “I didn’t want to bother anyone, I wasn’t really a guest at that time to be fair.” Javi just rolled his eyes once more, pulling you into his warm body wrapping his arms around you again.

“Well that’s about to change, now I know better. Clearly I will have to pull what you want out of you by force.” You leaned into each other, Javi turning you both to head inside. It wasn’t going to be an easy day still, no doubt a lot had to happen if you were to stay.

He let you speak to Gabriela for a little while, Javi somewhat in the distance trying desperately not to interject every time you were far to humble about what you said or suggested. Eventually stopping by the kitchen where he ended getting smacked by a wooden spoon as Camilia yelled at him for how ridiculous you both were.

The sight of a short Camilia mercilessly smacking the tall and large Javi, as he tried to bend away in very little defence like a child as a comical one, but not unusual for this strange little family.

Nothing was set in stone quite yet. Your future was uncertain, but then again, so was Javi’s. Both of your lives placed in between two possibilities and a not quite yet clear path along either one of them. Javi did however, waste no time in his greedy desire to have you sleep next to him in his own bed. Which was admittedly, far more cozy then the guest room.

Not quite asleep yet, you found yourself being yanked up onto Javi’s lap as his own back collapsed against the pillows. Grasping your hips when you went to follow, “Let me just look at you for a while, preciosa.”

You trailed your own hands, dancing along his chest now covered in just a simple white tee shirt. Occasionally reaching up to scratch at his facial hair. “You say that as if I don’t have an absolutely beautiful view below me now.”

Javi’s cheeks tinted a bit, holding back a flustered smile as he readjustment his grip on your hips to squeeze the skin below your shirt once more. He seemed to toy with pushing the fabric up more, but not subtle enough for you to miss it. You reached for it in a pull, but he held them in place as he looked at you much more serious. “I wasn’t trying to pressure you, I am perfectly happy with you just like this.”

Heart melting at how quick he was to deny himself what you knew he was thinking about, but you wanted to give him something anyways. Pulling your shirt up and letting it fall beside your bodies. The dark greed in his eyes as he looked over your skin, he clearly was not aware you didn’t have anything on underneath.

Shooting up from the bed, he held you steady from the force as he shot one hand up to rest just underneath one of your breasts. His face sharp and his eyes with desire. “I will not take this from you tonight, hermosa. But you are playing with fire here.”

Your hands trailed under his own, not lifting it, but following the line of his pants. “I thought you were the selfish one. Doesn’t quite feel that way, now-”

Javi’s jaw clenched, teeth muttering out curses you didn’t understand as he effortlessly flipped you onto your back. His body knelt in between your legs one holding your leg bent gripped by your hip, the other palming your breast in his large hand. “Unbelievable. Trying to take advantage of how weak I am for you.”

You threw your head back in a moan as he caressed you rougher, his other fingers tracing the nipple of your neglected breast and pinching them as he kissed your neck, a whiny gasp coming from you. “Sinful. So beautifully tempting.”

His hands worked your breasts over with every kiss and bite as his facial hair rubbed red your skin as he moved. Your hands fully moving under his shirt to trail your nails over his skin and grasp at him at a particularly harsh pair of his teeth and tugging at your nipple roughly.

You could feel a smug grin against you, and your hips writhed against his slowly. One of his hands gripped the side of your jaw to pull your lips to his, while the other pulled your grinding hip up into his more.

His kiss was messy but Javi was to preoccupied with granted you the feeling back. Nothing frantic, just a delicious grind of your hips together as you kissed. Your core begun to coil, quick. Too quick, you felt so pent up that the weight of his bulge against you send you careening closer to that burning orgasm so fast.

Each grind pressed harder, the pressure for both of you that much better feeling, but still neither of you moved faster. Javi mumbled into your mouth nothing you could make out but he eventually pulled away, rubbing his nose against yours.

Your hold on each other softened so much more the closer you got, and you were pulling Javi’s orgasm right along with it. His thumb traced over your bottom lip, only to almost slip into your mouth as you gasped out as it hit you. Your orgasm flooding through you without warning, as Javi pushed still against you to find his.

You hadn’t even been able to come down, you were plagued with aftershocks as he rubbed against you. His head moving to tuck itself into your neck as he crossed that line, but you didn’t want it. Your hands cupped his face to have him look at you, one of his gripping tight to you as his own orgasm fell over him.

His mouth agape, with a needy moan as his eyes braced shut. As he came back down, you finally felt yourself back onto the sheets, no longer floating in mid air. You ran a hand once again through his hair, eyes not leaving one another.

Javi turned one of your hands so he could kiss your palm, and you met halfway to the others lips. This time it was far more gentle. A soft caress, no demand and no need beyond just wanting to feel the others touch.

He kept you quite close to him that entire night. Gentle whispers passed back and forth like secrets, neither of you wanting to break the serene quiet of the room. He had kept one window open, your chests inhaling and exhaling against the other with the splash of waves against the shores.

Feeling how right you were fit together didn’t make the outside any less messy. Nothing about your time in Spain has taught you that this was something for the better in your life, but being curled up into Javi’s chest tucked warmly under his sheets did.

Lucas wasn’t gone, in fact he was likely to cause more of a problem in the future if Javi’s suspicions were correct, and you wouldn’t imagine what sinister ploy could possibly have included genuine help from your brother. Whatever they wanted, whatever was in planning was going to ultimately end badly.

Most stories such as theirs did. Of course there was no way either you or Javi could ever predict how that would possibly end, or just how much would end at Javi’s own hand or how quickly his actions will end it.

The Gutierrez family was one not to be trifled with, and now you lay here in the chest of the one masquerading as it’s leader. You were dragged into this life and force to endure the cruel games at the real masterminds behest. Javi couldn’t convince you at this point to leave for your own well being, to avoid their lives. It was what led you to this moment, your hands braced against his chest and his own curling around you.

Sleep begun to overtake you both, deep and slurring words between you, Javi’s mumbling into the hair as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. His arms tightened around you, refusing to let you slip away from his heart as he slept. You wouldn’t.

He found you after being thrown at his feet, and now he was too scared to let you back out, and you had no true intention to follow that though regardless.

A small smile graced your features as you snuggled in closer to him, “Javi?” He hummed into your hair as a reply. “What on earth am I going to get you for your birthday?”

Javi laughed deeply, pulling you in closer in almost a dismissal of your worry. “The only thing I wanted was to find a way to keep you in my life any way that I could.”

Melting into him, your heart a kind of warmth you only had ever felt with him. You did however, give him one suggestion. “I don’t know, if anyone could beat my presence in your life it might be Nic Cage.”

Javi rolled his eyes even if you couldn’t see. Tugging you into his chest he mumbled playfully into your head along with another loving kiss. “Fair, but you’re the one I stroked myself imagining you bouncing on my cock every time I could sneak away for a shower.” He laughed once more as you shrunk into his chest with a tiny whine.

You weren’t sure you were confident enough to tell you how badly you wanted that as well, but you unequivocally dreamed about it as you slept. Unaware of just how much you and Javi pressed into the other as you desired the same things.

You had each other’s heart, and for now that was all you and Javi truly wanted.

#javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x female reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez/reader #javi gutierrez/female reader #javi gutierrez/you #javi gutierrez imagine #javi gutierrez fanfic

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subparcarrion · 3 months

Text

CW//TW: kinda vent, discussion of tics and tic attacks (and some of the aftermath for me), discussion of high stress and anxiety situations, cussing/cursing, discussion of physical pain, discussion of pills.

(ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT.)

So... yeah,,,

Tic attacks, gonna have to go with ☆☆☆☆☆/★★★★★ (0/5). Especially at close to four in the morning at a sleepover.

Not really sure why I'm deciding to put it out on the internet, but I guess I wanna talk about it or smth. And with March break and my crippling social anxiety the closest I've come to talking about it irl is a quick "that was kinda traumatic ngl" to a close friend over text.

In retrospect it makes sense, it's the most stressed I've been in a while now paired with a lot of just having to be constantly "on" and feeling scared to say no.

For context I did a pseudo babysitting job for a family friend from around mid afternoon to nearly midnight. I then decided to go a sleepover with my friends late since they had been kind enough to move the date so I could attend. (Probably not the best idea for the future who has a bad anxiety disorder and probably a lot of other stuff, but when have I ever said no.)

The job itself was pretty stressful but the kid and her mom's are super nice and did their best to accommodate me, so that was really nice. (They also paid me really well when I would have honestly done if for free so I'm not gonna complain. Anything bad was kinda just unavoidable considering it was me who was doing the job.)

Im also not really gonna bitch about the sleepover too much, my friends are lovely, the timing just made things rough.

Since I was arriving so late we hung out for like an hour and then went to bed (at least tried to go to bed), a lot of tha time was just kinda spent getting ready for bed though. There's nothing wrong with that, I just ended up feeling a little like I had missed out on the best part of stuff. (Again, no one else's fault.)

Everyone else fell asleep pretty quick, however I was not tired at all. It wasn't unexpected though, going from one high stress situation to another doesn't really let you let your guard down. Let alone feel properly sleepy.

So I just kinda did some stuff on my phone for thirty minutes to see if I would get tired and then decided to finally turn in for the night still very much all to aware of everything.

At this point it's probably important to mention that everyone in my froend group has at least a passing interest in a game called "The Stanley Parable". And if you didn't know you can go into an elevator in that game, and it kinda just plays this goofy elevator music in loup until you leave.

It is thus tradition in my friend group to play the elevator music while we fall asleep at any and all sleepovers where it is possible and everyone is chill with it.

The elevator is kinda some basic lyricless pop-ish kinda techno song where you can occasionally, if you listen closely enough hear the narrator hum along with the tune. The song itself is a certified banger, but I was stressed as fuck and hyperaware of everything. It was safe to say it was driving me crazy, especially the humming part.

I didn't really have any means to turn it off though and I would feel bad doing it. After all, I had agreed to it any it would be distruptful to try since it was super late and the room was pretty packed. To move around too much would probably wake someone up. (Wow, foreshadowing or smth.)

I never really got to sleep and it was around late three in the morning, nearly four when shit really started to hit the fan.

(Another bout of context before I continue: so I've had what I'm just calling tics at this point for about a year now, maybe a bit longer. At least that's when they started getting really noticeable and causing real problems for me. Personally for me it's mostly motor ticks that get much worse in stressful situations. Stressful situations being an iffy description that could cover pretty much anything on acount of the anxiety disorder. Albeit over time it has developed into mostly motor ticks with occasional verbal ones.

I can have periods where they are happening very few times a day and then ones where they are happening several times a minute, either way they never really go away. I had been doing pretty good tick wise before this whole ordeal, now it's definitely leaning towards the worse, more disruptive and painful side.)

It started off with a ciuple of my usual motor tics, getting more and more aggressive very quickly. For the most part these would consist of things like my shoulders jumping up and hitting the vase of my head and neck or my hands doing weird shit.

By the time the verbal tics started the motor tics were so aggressive and frequent they were getting pretty painful. This would be the same time I would start making small squeaks as a verbal tick.

It became pretty clear after that this wasn't stopping any time soon so I sat up and used my pillow to cover my mouth in hopes to muffle the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

This was the point where something changed and my tics got the worst they'd ever been. It went from squeaks to small screams and loud grunts. And I was just sitting there in pain scared out of my mind for nearly and hour before the noise finally woke up my friends. Cuz despite all my effort a pillow can't hide constant screaming for very long.

When my friends woke up they were reasonably concerned, they knew I had tics that could occasionally get kinda bad but this was the worst it had been, and I could barely explain through the ticks that it had been going on for about an hour. There was definitely no way I was calming them down, and in all fairness I was freaking out too and they handled the whole shitshow remarkably well.

They probably spent twenty minutes or more trying to calm me down or help, but nothing was working, in fact it might have been getting worse. One of my friends also tried Google-ing it, but Google pretty much said drug him or ignore them were feasible options for yours truly, the little bitch boy.

My friend eventually got their mom and I regained enough control to pack my shit and got driven home. I downed as much sleeping and pain meds as I was allowed to take and continued ticking until I passed out.

Idk,,, not a particularly entertaining story, ig I just wanted to get it out somewhere.

As for me right now, it's been two days and I can't go five minutes without some sort of tic at most.

However, I'm feeling somewhat better, even if my neck hurts like shit.

I suppose that's all, thanks for listening to me bitch and moan tumblr. <33 /p

-carrion_

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sejmisland · 11 months

Note

prev anon here again!! here's my request (i hope it's okay to mix fandoms?) :}

could you write something involving hux, wheatley, and glados "comforting" (in big quotation marks) the reader who's having a bad bout of the monthly cramps? like, so bad they literally can't walk without crying lmao. i'd love if the reader was already in an established relationship with the bot(s) but you can make it non-romantic if you want!

absolutely, dear. more than okay to mix fandoms <3. i decided to do hcs and small drabbles for all 3. im so sorry this took so long im actually having bad cramps rn. thank you for the request! i had a lot of fun writing this.

established relations with reader below, gender neutral, no pronouns used (afab anatomy).

hux / the singularity. - he is terrible at emotional comfort due to his logical approach, but he tries! its only through words mostly but as time goes on, he gets forms of "treatment" (heating pads, medicine). - it first started when you walked, pain so blinding that you felt tears come to your eyes. he noticed this immediately. - "what is the matter?" he'd ask and you try to explain it to him. you explain that it was monthly cramps as you felt like doubling over. - he simply picks you up with his claw and rests you on a nearby couch.

"growth hurts," he mused as he remained in front of you resting on the couch. his entire body jolted, head ticking to the side with rough movement. he lifted a mechanical leg to rest it on the couch next to your seated position. he hoisted himself up and spun quickly, sitting himself down alongside you. "it often does." you lifted your eyes to him, leaning aside to rest your head against his fleshy, pulsating arm. you closed your eyes, allowing the tears in your eyes to trail down your face. your chest heaved with each quiet sniffle and sob of agony as your stomach sent another wave of contraction. "quit blabbering," you pressed your teeth into your tongue. "it will not help." you opened up your eyes to turn your head up to him. "i know, i'm sorry. it-" you choked on a small whimper. "it just hurts, hux." your voice cracked as you whispered up to him, tears obscuring your vision. the only clear thing were his glowing, red eyes as he stared down at you for what seemed like an eternity. "it will all be over soon. do not fret, my worm."

wheatley.

- he cant provide much, but if you like hearing him babble to help distract. - he noticed tears in your eyes as you twisted in your chair in an uncomfortable, painful way. - VERY concerned. he noticed your pain right away! he's scared, almost terrified of seeing you in pain. - "are you okay?! hey, what's wrong? y-you dont need to cry, you know!" and when you explain to him..

"oh, OH! wait, you- oh! hold on, it's okay, oh, please don't cry. don't cry!" wheatley stammered, beginning to tick his ocean blue eye all over the room, as if he was searching for something. "umm, what to do... what to do- i've never done this before. at least, i don't think so-" "wheatley," you rasped out quietly through the mounting pain, smiling as he talked himself through the situation. you glanced up to the sky blue eye that was now dilated, shaking as it focused on you. "shhh, shh, its okay! give me one second! you'll love this." you couldn't help but silently chuckle as you watched the small robot steer himself on the rail with the occasional spark letting loose from his eye plates. "you'll... you'll need to catch me." he gave no further warning; he ejected himself from his rail with an incoherent blabber, crashing into your arms. the force was enough to knock your limbs back, making him slam into your already hurting abdomen. you let out a pained yelp and he returned it with one of his own. "sorry, sorry! j-just a mishap! didn't expect that-" you looked down at him, cradling him into your arms. "butterfingers, ha!"

glados.

- much like hux, she is terrible at comfort. she seems cruel but this is in her tone of voice. her comfort? observation. - she didnt notice it at first. so when she saw you walking, tears streaming down your face and mouth screwed in a grimace, she was confused. she thought you were injured. - "what is going on? what happened?" she does sound concerned with a hint of confusion. "what have you gotten yourself into now?" you explain that you're not *injured* but simply in pain from your monthly. - an awkward silence afterward. it doesnt last long.

"your resilience is commendable, but unnecessary." her monotone voice rang out as the yellow pupil stared down at your agonized form. "do not move." all of the panels surrounding the room shift in wave like motions, almost masking a hissing noise from around you. you turned your head from side to side to see glass panels rising up, entrapping you in a transparent cell. she looked on as you panicked, nearly falling against one of the glass panel walls. when you looked back to her, vision blurry from the tears still pooling in your eyes, she swayed aside as if she was monitoring your every move. you blinked several times, attempting to focus your vision. "glados," you hissed out through grit teeth as you squeezed your arms around yourself tighter in hopes to lessen the pain of your contracting muscles. "what are you doing?" "i need to think," she swung her chassis closer to your glass prison, almost completely taking up your clearing vision. you blinked rapidly to gain focus. "observation is crucial."

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idungoofed · 2 years

Text

Peli’s Wedding!

Din Djarin x Fem

Yeah yeah I know I know the crest is gone but it is alive in my head and how is one meant to get ready for a wedding in a teeny tiny N-1 Starfighter huh? HUH? (I am ignoring your screams for literally anywhere else.)

It’s Peli’s wedding! She’s getting married to Mok Shaiz’s Twi’lek majordomo, (As far as I can see he never got given an official name, and I thought it was funnier to work with that than use a name generator) and you’re invited along with Din and Grogu as well as some other familiar characters. Any wedding traditions I have pulled from my own personal experiences, and weaved it into my very limited knowledge of the Star Wars universe it is what it is. This had been super fun to write, and I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Fluff, just so much fluff. Soft!Din, helmet comes off, no use of Y/N, allusions to sex but no actual smut, and some fictional alcohol consumption.

Word count: 3,872

___

“Why do we have to go to this thing again?” Din sighed outside the fresher door, his voice coming out modulated beneath the helmet.

“Stop calling it ‘this thing’! It’s Peli’s wedding/” You say for what felt like the 100th time that day.

“And who’s she getting married to?” Ask’s Din, his tone challenging.

“The Twi’lek guy that used to be Mok Shaiz’s majordomo-“

“You don’t even know his name!” He exclaimed.

You could imagine him outside the door now, finger pointing as he accused you.

He wasn’t wrong, you had no idea what he was called; for some reason that guys name just wouldn’t stick in your head.

But that wasn’t important, you were all going for Peli anyway, and that was that.

It had been a surprise when you got the invite on the holopad, you’d seen Peli since your last visit to Mos Espa but she hadn’t let on she was even dating the Twi’lek, let alone wanting to marry him.

But you weren’t blind, and you saw the spark between them in the aftermath of the Pyke Syndicate showdown and Boba’s rancor destroying half of Mos Espa. They were an unlikely couple with Peli’s fiery nature and no nonsense personality, and his air of grandeur and love of the finer things in life, but you know all too well that opposites attract.

You’d been with Din for just over a year now, after he got you out of a sticky situation with a sore-loser Wookie and a game of sabacc.

Since then you took on the role of baby sitter to his adorable green kid, occasional mechanic, and what you liked to think a giant loveable pain in his arse.

You were a talkative ray of sunshine compared to Dins brooding quietness. (And he realised quickly his menacing, helmed stare had zero effect on quelling your bouts of talkativeness.

He could of gotten rid of you, but he didn’t, because under all his sighing, arm-crossing and unimpressed head tilts at you, he would miss you too much if you were gone. The Crest felt brighter to him with you around, and Din had needed that light when things got dark.

You’d seen Din through some rough times what with losing the kid, getting him back, and then watching the heartbreak of Din giving him up to the Jedi.

You grew closer after that, seeking comfort from the gaping green hole that was left in both your hearts. The simmering attraction between you two seemed to break like a dam, and one night on the Crest, after too many spotchkas and reminiscing of your time with the child, you ended up in a tangle of limbs in Dins small bunk. It was the only good that came of the loss of Grogu- you and Din realising how much more you needed each other now.

Then who showed up in the middle of a war ground in Mos Espa? Grogu. Of course. Saving his father with the force at the last minute once again. Your happy family together and complete.

—

You finished the last few touches of your hair having opting to wear it down for once, and rechecked your make up.

The dress your wore was made of a silky green material that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was the first time you were getting to wear it, having impulsively bought it in a market on Coruscant.

You looked at yourself in the fresher mirror one last time.

“Are you almost done?” Called Din through the door, “We’re going to be late if we don’t-“

His words died in his throat by you pressing the button to open the door.

You stood before him, slightly taller than he was used to with your heels on, and looking more beautiful than he had ever seen you.

Dins silent stare unsettled you, and you started worrying about your appearance, your hand coming up to fiddle with the tendrils of hair around your face.

“What?” You ask, brow crinkling. “Is it too much?”

Din took two slow steps towards you, his body crowding yours. “You look… beautiful.” He said, his hand coming up to cup your face as his other came to the lip of his helmet and pulled it off.

You only caught a glimpse of his handsome face before his lips claimed your own. His hand that was on your face traveled down, landing on your hip, his thumb making small sensual circles.

“You know, we could just go to the evening reception?” He said pulling his lips away. You’d gotten to know the look in his eyes all too well over the past months, and you couldn’t deny it was tempting, but you hadn’t spent the best part of the last hour making yourself up for nothing.

You bring your hands up to his face, and lean in close as if to kiss him, but before your lips connect you pull back. “What? And risk ruining my hair? I don’t think so.”You pat his cheek. “Down boy.” You can’t help the smirk that spreads across your face at the sight of Din rolling his eyes. You duck under his arms out of reach, but not before catching sight of the resigned smile on his face.

You walk over the where Grogu was currently napping, gathering him in your arms and transferring him to his floating crib. He coo’d in his sleep as you fuss over a little ribbon you’d fashioned into a bow tie, and attached to his clothing under his chin.

“Okay, I think we’re ready.” You say when satisfied with the child’s appearance and turn back to Din, his helmet firmly back in place. “Just one thing before we go.”

“What?”

“You really wearing that?” You ask, gesturing to his usual attire of brown flight suit and shiney beskar armour.

Din crosses his arms over his chest, his weight shifting to one leg as his visor stares back at you menacingly.

“Just kidding!” You say as you walk past him and out the shop door, unable to hold in your burst of laughter.

You wouldn’t have him any other way.

It doesn’t take long for you and Din to walk to the wedding venue - Peli’s ship yard. Although it was hard to even recognise the place with all the decorations.

The bulk of the yard had been cleared out, which basically meant any ship parts had been pushed to the sides. Streamers were hung from one side of the yard to the next, while colourful flowers adorned the walls and sat in anything that could be used as a container.

In the middle of the yard two rows of chairs sat facing a small makeshift podium adorned with an floral arch. Two pit droids were currently tugging a chair back and forth in an argument over how many were needed for each row.

There were a number of other guests milling around in the yard already, many you didn’t know, however there were a few you did.

The Frog Lady you and Din had helped get to Trask was standing to one side, her husband next to her as their three froglets played at their feet.

You wave at them and as soon as the now awake Grogu spotted them began to fuss in his crib wanting out.

“Okay kid, you can say hi.” You say, picking him up and setting him on the ground, but in an after thought say, “But try keep clean, don’t forget you’re the flower kid!”

“And no trying to eat them.” Din says to Grogu, wagging his finger which earns him a long-suffering look from the green child.

Making the most of a second alone, Din wraps his arms around your waste and pulls you to his chest. “You really do look stunning today, cyar’ika.”

You place you hands on the cool metal of his chest plate, smiling and look up into his visor. “Thank you, Din, you’re looking particularly shiny today.”

He huffs a laugh out at your silly compliment, shaking his head.

You hear your names called from across the yard. You turn and leave Dins embrace, and spot Boba and Fennec walking over to you.

Boba was in his usual attire of green and red Mandalorian armour, although you could tell it had been polished recently and there were fewer dents that usual. Fennec, was attracting stares from the male - and some female, guests. Looking stunning in a black dress, not too dissimilar to her usual attire, it had a practical style with thigh splits for easy movement and where you could see glimpses of multiple weapons holstered, and a high neck and capped sleeves.

“Boba! Fennec!” You greeted them, pushing Boba’s out-stretched hand out the way and going in for a hug, before moving on to Fennec.

He was another man in your life who you refused to let their cold exterior intimidate you. You saw yourself how he coo’d over his rancour; he was a big softie under that beskar.

As the four of you made small talk the droids started gathering the guests towards the empty chairs ready to begin the ceremony.

You turned to get Grogu, who to all appearances was attempting to lick one of the froglets arms.

“Grogu!” You scold, scooping him up, luckily before Frog Lady saw. “Was eating half of their unborn siblings not enough?” You whisper to him.

Grogu stared up at you, the picture of innocence.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you’re so cute.”

___

The ceremony went off without a hitch, Grogu did his job perfectly, leaving a little trail of petals down the isle. Well almost perfectly - he did stuff a few handfuls in his mouth as he went, much to the amusement of guests.

The word beautiful didn’t do Peli justice, she looked straight up bad ass as she strutted down the isle. She wore a white fitted jumpsuit and topped it off with a matching blazer with black lapels. Her curly hair bounced around her face and was adorned with tiny white flowers.

You almost made it through the first set of vows before you crumbled, the joyous emotions of the day finally getting to you. Luckily you weren’t the only one, a Jawa in the opposite row seemed to be taking it pretty hard.

Din glanced at you, doing a double take when he saw your teary eyes. “Mesh’la are you really crying?” He whispered, not unkindly.

You nodded, grabbing the only thing you could to try mop up your face - Dins cape.

He let out an amused sigh next to you. “Do you have to use that? You’re gonna get it all snotty.”

“I just love love, you know?! Look at them, they’re just so happy together!” You hiccup, eyes on the bride and groom.

Din didn’t take his eyes from your face, bringing his hand up he caught a stray tear on your cheek with a gloved finger. “Yeah, they really are.”

Confetti showers around you as Peli walks back down the isle, hand in hand with her new husband. You still didn’t know his name as Grogu let out a loud gurgle during the vows causing you to miss it again.

Grogu squeals on Dins lap as he tries to catch the paper flecks in his tiny hands.

You hadn’t been able to stem your tears yet, you couldn’t help it - weddings just made you feel all gooey and emotional with love

Din wraps his arm around you. “Did you see Peli slip him the tongue?”

You laugh-sob and dab at your eyes with Din’s cloak still clutched in your hands. “Yeah” You say, sniffing. “It was beautiful.”

You hear a modulated huff of a laugh in your ear as Din lowers his head down to bump gently against yours in a chaste keldabe kiss.

The evening reception started with the bride and grooms first dance. Peli led her Majordomo on to the dance floor and then proceeded to lead in the dance as well. It was typical Peli, but her new husband didn’t seem to mind.

You adored watching them glide across the floor to the music, eyes only for each other. It was beautiful, but turned slightly awkward when they unabashedly started making out, Peli’s hands making their way south to grip her new husbands butt.

The other guests that had been watching started finding their feet or the decorations above very interesting, and you took that as your cue to take Grogu back to his crib.

The music wound down as you stepped away with Din behind you, but before you could go far you heard Peli screech your name.

“Where are you going missy?! I’m about to chuck this thing and I need you front and centre!” She called to you, waving her bridal bouquet in the air.

You turned back around, eyes darting between Peli and Din. It’s not like you didn’t want to join in, you loved wedding traditions, but this one? You loved Din, and knew he loved you - you’d told each other as much when your relationship shifted from friendship to more, and although of course you wanted to be more - Din’s riduur, you didn’t want to feel like you were forcing the idea on to him.

Before you could make your next move, Din stepped in front of you and plucked Grogu from your arms.

He leaned in close to you. “You better not keep the bride waiting.”

You looked up him, your brows knitted together. “You know what this tradition means right?” You ask.

Din simply nods his head and nudges you forward. You didn’t catch what he whispered to Grogu after.

A grin stretches across your face as his words sink in. You jut your chin forward and straighten your shoulders, and with an air of confidence take your place among the small crowd of other female guests.

Peli tosses the bouquet over her head, and you’re jostled by the women around you, getting pushed towards the back of the group. Peli had over-shot, the flowers on course to tumble over your heads. However just as you thought it was going to pass you by, it seemed to hit an invisible wall, stopping it in its tracks, and causing it to tumble down into your waiting hand.

You raise the bouquet over your head victoriously, while the other females groaned in disappointment. Your eyes find Din, and you excitedly skip over to him.

You can hear his husky laugh as you reach him. “That’s my girl.”

“You know some would call that cheating.” You say not in the least bit mad about it, and then ruffle the top of Grogu’s head. “Thanks little guy.”

“So Mando! I guess it’s your turn next!” Taunts Peli good-naturedly from behind you.

Din looks down at you through his visor, and although you couldn’t see it, a smile was forming on his handsome face. “I guess it is.”

___

The party was in full swing, the band from the local cantina playing up-beat numbers that have you wiggling your shoulders and tapping your feet in your chair. The dance floor was starting to fill up with people throwing shapes.

“Okay I’m going in.” You say downing the last of your drink and turning to Din. “Fancy joining me?”

“You know I don’t dance.”

“Oh come on, just one? Please?” You plead, it wasn’t as fun dancing on your own, and Grogu was fast asleep again in his crib.

“No. I’ll watch.” Said Din, and you knew there was no point in begging by the finality of his tone.

“Fine.” You huff and shimmy towards the dance floor. You turn and try once more to change your Mandalorians mind, swinging and catching him with an invisible lasso, but he just crosses his arms and shakes his helmed head, so you shrug and dive into the crowd.

You come back to the table a few times, the first to kick your heels of, and then only in quick visits to gulp at your drink in an attempt to cool down before darting off again.

“Instead of staring at her longingly why don’t you ask her to dance?” Said Boba across the table from Din, which was littered with party poppers and empty glasses.

“I can’t dance.” Replied Din matter of factly.

“I don’t think she cares, Mando, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She’s turned down every male here who’s asked her to dance, she only wants you.”

Din looked from Boba and back to you, as you hold your nose and mime going under water with the Frog Lady and Peli.

He sighs heavily, knowing Boba was right, and pushes himself up from the chair to head towards you. As he does the song changes to a slower number, and he watches as Frog Lady and Peli pair off with their husbands.

You stand there, looking around at the different couples pairing off to dance together, and are unable to stop the pang of jealousy. You turn, deciding you better go back to the table to wait the slow dance out. Although as you do, you almost walk straight into Din.

“Will you dance with me, mesh’la?” He asks, his voice only loud enough for you to hear.

The smile that lights up your face makes Din wish he asked you sooner. He places his hands on your hips as you wrap yours around his neck, resting your head against his chest plate, and start to gently sway to the music.

Din says your name. “I’m sorry I can’t dance.”

You look up to him and follow where his visor is pointed - at the Frog Lady and her husband who were gracefully pirouetting around the dance floor.

You bring your fingers to the side of his helmet, turning his face to yours. “Hey, I don’t care about that, just having you here is enough, I love you Din, a few bad dance moves won’t change that.” You finish with a smirk.

Your Mandalorians shoulders judder under your arms as he lets out a chuckle. “I love you too cyar’ika.” He said, lowering his head to yours.

___

As the evening winds down to an end, you bid goodnight to Boba and Fennec who were finishing off another bottle of spotchka - those two could drink, and wave goodbye to Frog Lady.

The bride and groom had disappeared into Peli’s office a while ago, and you were /not/ about to interrupt them. You didn’t need that image burned into your brain.

You both approached the Crest arm in arm with Grogu still fast asleep in his crib floating in front of you.

“I’m not quite tired just yet, I’m going to look at the stars from the roof.” You say, entering the ship.

“No!” Din busts out, causing you to snatch your hand away from the ladder you were about to climb.

He clears his throat, tripping over his words. “It’s just… I… Grogu wants you to put him to bed!”

You raise an eyebrow, and look over at Grogu. “But he’s not even awake-“

“He told me earlier.” Din says, dashing to the ladder and disappearing through the hatch.

“Ohh-kay.” You say completely bewildered. Told him? How?

When you carry Grogu to the his little hammock he wakes briefly, wining at the disturbance, but he quickly settled back down into the nest of blankets you create for him. All the while you can hear Dins heavy footsteps moving around above you, at one point hearing something skitter across the floor and a resulting, “Dank Farrik!”.

After you hear him climb the second ladder to the ships roof you double check Grogu is asleep, stop by the fresher and then head on up.

Your head breaches the hatch and your eyes widen at the sight before you. Candle’s flicker on the roof, their soft light glinting off the metal exterior and the armour of the man standing before you. His helmet is discarded at his feet next to Peli’s bridal bouquet.

“Din? What’s-“

“Come here, mesh’la.” He says, his voice soft and his hands reaching for you.

You move toward him, picking out a path through the candles, and when you’re in front of him he takes your hands in his. He’d removed his gloves and his hands were soft and warm against your own.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you… ask you something for a while now, I just didn’t know how yet.” He says, voice hushed as he studies your entwined hands.

You blink up at him, waiting for him to reveal where he was going with this.

He breaths your name, and looks up into your eyes. You swallow down a gasp at the raw emotion behind them.

“You’ve been the brightest star in my night sky, if I didn’t have you by my side after Grogu left… I don’t think I would of gotten through the heartbreak.”

You open your mouth but he shakes his head as to say he’s not finished. “You held me together, and didn’t stop or let go even when he came back. You’re a part of our family… and, if you’d like, I’d like if you were a part of our clan too.”

Your eyes are brimming with tears at his confession, your heart so full you feel you’d be able to see it thudding in your chest. “What do you want to ask me, Din?” You say barely above a whisper.

“Will you be my riduur?”

You’re only able to utter a simple “Yes.” before Din’s mouth crashes down to your own. You kiss him back with equal passion, tears spill over as you close your eyes and relinquish yourself to him. There’s so many things you want to say that you instead pour into the kiss. How much you love him too, how long you’ve wanted him to utter them words, and how complete it makes you feel to be officially wanted as a part of their clan.

You break the kiss to catch your breath, and Din’s fingers swipe at the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“Don’t cry, sweet girl.”

“Sorry, I just love-“

“Love.” He finishes for you, chuckling. “I know.”

Din takes leads you to the blanket you hadn’t yet noticed under the candles, and you both settle down on it, lying back with you snuggled under Din’s arm, head resting on his broad chest.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Asks Din.

“You might of mentioned it once or twice.” You answer playfully.

“Hmm, not nearly enough then.” He says, holding you tighter.

You glance over to his other side where his helmet sits next to the flowers, and a thought clicks in your head.

“Peli was totally in on this wasn’t she?” You ask, hearing laughter rumble through Din.

“She might of helped.” He admits.

You both break into laughter, clinging to each other, your future together spread out under a blanket of starlight and Tatooines three moons hanging full in the night sky above.

Thanks for reading!💕

Don’t mind me just tagging some lovelies: @insomniamamma @heythere-mel @whataenginerd @mildlyhopeless

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itwasthereaminuteago · 1 year

Text

|| It Ain't No ||

Matt Murdock x Frank Castle

Tags/warnings: mild violence, fluff, allusions to smut. ☺️

A/n: this was inspired by a lovely prompt from @munsonownsmyass for a proposal and I've used it for the TFC April songfic challenge!

My song is Option by Crosses 💍🖤

And thank you so much to @realfernmayo for making the moodboard! 💗 If you enjoyed please reblog so that others can read, thank you!

It was a slow thing, something that started growing a while after he had sniped off ninjas to help Red. It was the least he could do, leave him free to take down the motherfucker that had killed a loved one. That was something they now had in common at least, however tragic it was.

Either way over time they'd usually end up running into each other on odd nights, a couple of ass-kicking vigilante moths to a burning pyre of bad guys. It was almost inevitable in a way.

There were off the cuff team ups in alleyways. Meetings outside dark, dodgy warehouses with an unspoken plan. The occasional rooftop rendezvous to get the jump on an arms dealer. And after a while they were talking through gang takedowns in Red's loft over a few beers.

He wouldn't have called them dates, but Frank hadn't gone on a date in years and well, they were the closest thing.

For the most part as they worked together well to keep Hell's Kitchen safe, at least once Frank had conceded to Red's no killing rule. And then after he had taken a bullet for Red, and Red had taken a knife in the gut for him, he realised there was now something more between them.

Trust.

It had snuck up behind them both, binding them closer.

Either way Frank found himself here, his gaze soft as he sat watching the way the blues and purples of the neon billboard outside washed across Matt's skin. They were like ephemeral bruises, a reminder of the pain they'd endured but not only that. Once the fighting was over and the wounds were stitched, after a time those punches were soothed with tender touches. And then one day, a crashing kiss and a quiet mutual confession of love whispered into skin.

He focused on keeping his heart rate steady, that was the thing with having a boyfriend who had acutely enhanced senses, it was damn difficult to hide anything from him.

"You hungry?" He asks Matt, not even daring to look at him.

Matt raises his head from the case files he had been pouring over for the past couple of hours, now suddenly aware of his growling stomach. "Actually yeah, I could definitely eat. You want to get some Thai?"

Frank shrugs. "Eh, was thinkin' something different."

"Oh?" Matt's interest was piqued and Frank cursed himself internally, he should have known a change in routine would be risky.

"Yeah I dunno, Madani keeps goin' on 'bout some Persian place. Thought we could try it, go out."

Matt throws him one of those sunbeam smiles of his and Frank is almost ready to give his game away right there.

"You've asked me four times now if I enjoyed the food, your pulse rate practically skyrocketed when we left the restaurant… Frank, what the hell is up with you?"

He feels like a defendant on the stand getting flayed by Matt's interrogative tone.

"Nothin'. Maybe Persian food just don't agree with me."

Frank tries his utmost to calm himself down but it's too late now. He's not felt this apprehensive in a long time but right now his nerves are frayed.

Matt stops him on the sidewalk. "Frank, I need the truth. Remember when we said we wouldn't have any more secrets? Spit it out, now."

"Seriously, it's nothin' to get your panties in a bunch about. Let's just get home."

Matt leans closer to him. "Frank." He says in a warning tone.

Frank sighs, grumbling as Matt cocks his head when he hears him reach into his jacket pocket and retrieve something.

"This wasn't how it was s'posed to go… I was gonna… fuck it. Here goes."

He kneels down in front of Matt right on the sidewalk, with the cacophony of sounds and smells of the Kitchen as his witness. He should have known that this of all things would never have gone to plan.

"Matt-"

"What are you-"

"Shh, christ, just shut up for once and let me do this." Frank grumbles as he goes to fish the ring from its velvet pouch. Just then, Matt holds up his hand, cocking his head to the side.

"Wait, wait-"

Frank's face falls and Matt can hear the panicked rhythm of his heart.

"Just… can you hold that thought for me? There's someone holding up a bodega two blocks away. C'mon!" Matt is grabbing Frank's arm and pulling him to his feet.

"Aw you're fucking shittin' me?"

Frank follows him quickly, seeing the situation clear through the glass door before he's throwing it open, striding towards the asshole that's pointing a gun at the young cashier while Matt hangs back, just letting him do his thing. It's something that he's both wary of and turned on by. The way Frank has this single minded focus on a target, whatever it is, he's a force of nature when he's in that mode and it sets the hairs at the back of Matt's neck on end.

The moment the gunman turns and sees Frank, the recognition is instant. Frank doesn't give a shit if he knows who he is, easily disarming him, breaking the guy's wrist and grabbing his arm and slamming him down to the floor, twisting it painfully behind his back.

"You know what you've done, shithead?"

'Shithead' yells in pain as Frank wrenches his arm up higher. "Hey give me a break man, I- I didn't shoot nobody!"

Frank continues. "Nah, but you've scared this nice lady, and ruined me and my partner's evening, that's what. Fuckface." Frank growls loud right next to his face. "Now, I got more important shit to do and I ain't got time to waste takin' your fuckin' sorry ass to the police, so here's the deal - you're gonna wait here for them to come pick you up while we call em. Ain't that so?"

The guy shakes his head. "Yeah sure, good luck with that, I'll be back out again tomorrow anyways!"

Matt comes up from behind Frank and punches the guy square in the face knocking him out.

"Hey!" Frank turns to him, surprised at his actions.

Matt shrugs as he pulls out his phone to call 911. "I was getting impatient, and besides, you've got important shit to do." He turns to the cashier. "Are you okay, miss?"

The woman nods and thanks them both for intervening. Frank restrains the perp with a hefty amount of cable ties from the back room and Matt leaves his N&M card with the cashier. "You just call us if you need any help."

As they walk down the street toward home, Matt can't help the beginnings of a smile tugging up at the corner of his mouth as he waits.

"So, you were saying?" He presses, his smile growing with every second. Frank stops, shakes his head and scoffs.

"It's always gonna be like this ain't it?"

Matt breathes out something between a laugh and a sigh. "Could argue that it keeps it interesting…"

Frank stops him in the street. "Listen. You and I, we ain't always had the smoothest ride and don't I know it, if tonight's anythin' to go by… but there's no one else I'd rather take that ride with." He shakes his head. "What I'm sayin' is-"

Before he can get it out, Matt is sweeping down in front of him on the sidewalk on bended knee, holding out a ring of his own.

Frank could fucking kill him.

"Frank, will you marry me?"

It's all he can do to laugh. "You fucking- get up here you asshole!" He drags him up into his arms and a slow, sensual kiss. The kind where there's no sense of time or place. When they finally separate, they're both smiling so much it almost hurts. They never thought they'd get this far.

"So?" Matt pushes, sliding his hand down to hold Frank's, their fingers interlocking.

Frank huffs against his cheek. "Well, it ain't no." He pulls back, looking at Matt's pretty face. "Will you marry me?"

"Ain't no either!"

"Alright you smart ass," He says, lifting Matt's hand after he retrieves his silver ring from his pocket and slides it onto his finger. Matt does the same with Frank and when he lets go of his hand, he takes off and runs his fingers over the engraving on the inside of the ring that Frank has just given him.

"It says, 'pain in my fuckin' ass forever'. Frank jokes, and Matt laughs and pecks him on the cheek.

"Well yours says 'better the devil you know'." He grins.

"Huh. Whadaya know, we're perfect for each other."

Matt never hopes for much but he can't wipe the look of sheer joy off his face, tugging Frank along, urging him to walk faster so they can get home and he can fully remind him of just how just grateful he is. He can feel Frank's happiness and contentment too, his heart rate settled and strong with the occasional little flutter when he squeezes Matt's hand and feels the ring there, solid and real.

They're all over each other as soon as the door to their apartment closes, and Matt's coffee table is the first and certainly not the last casualty of their unbridled passion as they make their way to the bedroom. But when they get there it's all gentle love. There will always be bruises, but they'll always be chased with kisses.

Frank tags: @divinearchangel @saintmurd0ck @castlesnchurches @mindidjarin @hellskitchenswhore @pedrito-friskito @sweetieswiftie @shedaresthedevil @freshabogados @mattmurdockspainkink @briefcasejuice @frankcastlescumslut

@father4giveme @stress--relief @e-dubbc11 @whistle1whistle @tea-and-wine @emiemiemii @imherefordeanandbones @realfernmayo @munsonownsmyass @marvelswh0re @frankcastlescumslut @chellestrash @chvoswxtch @messymissy @evilbubu @lucy-sky @yanna-banana @anna-hawk @km-ffluv

#TFC April challenge #tfc writing challenge #frank castle x matt murdock #fratt fanfiction #fratt #daredevil fic #the punisher fic #fratt fluff #matt murdock fluff #frank castle fluff #Spotify #fratt fic

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obitohno · 2 years

Text

primeval | 04

satoru gojo x reader

synopsis ⤸

you have never believed in fairy-tales. besides, werewolves don’t actually exist… right?

chapters ⤸

៚ contents

៚ prev

themes ⤸

fem! reader, 18+, dark fic, werewolf! gojo, human! reader, slow burn, soulmates, omegaverse, werewolves, mating bond, smut, masturbation, cunnilingus, blowjobs, anal, breeding, creampies, ruts, heats, action, angst, graphic depictions of violence, mentions of blood

word count ⤸

3.3k (unedited)

a/n ⤸

i’ve received a few asks about a new update, so here we are with another chapter! apologies for those who have been waiting—i’ve been focusing on kinktober :// but i hope that this’ll make up for it! there’ll be smut coming in the next chapter, finally, hhh

reblogs are appreciated ~

four:

it is an unbearable heat which sears under the surface of your skin that wakes you in the middle of the night.

disorientated, a long moment passes before you recognise the empty guest room that you’ve remained caged inside for the best part of a week. you’re reminded of the ache that dizzies you when you attempt to twist your neck toward the doorway, a pained groan barely stifled by your teeth biting into your bottom lip. upon forcing yourself into an upright position, you find that an uncomfortable sheen of perspiration has formed on the surface of your skin, the fabric of your nightie—newly acquired just the day before when you’d complained about wearing the same clothes for several days in a row—now glued to the shape of your limbs.

grimacing, you are cautious when tilting your head toward the window, the tendons in your neck protesting at the stretch, eyes fixating upon the bright glow that seeps in through the glass.

it’s a full moon tonight.

the realisation shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it does, and yet, your stomach churns, twisting in on itself. fire crawls up the length of your throat, and the sensation has your spine curving as you hunch over, groaning as a sudden bout of nausea has your head swimming. this time, you’re unable to muffle the grunt that is pushed from between your lips, and you begrudgingly tear your eyes from the window to look toward the door. someone is knocking, you belatedly recognise after a beat, the sound quiet enough that you almost miss it.

it is shoko who enters the room, and from over her shoulder, you recognise geto’s shadow that loiters by the doorway.

instinctively, your spine straightens, rigid even when shoko aims a warm smile your way.

‘luna?’ she calls, caution evident within her tone. ‘are you—?’

‘it’s hot out,’ you complain, yet your tone is dull, void of any form of emotional response. you’ve long given up on arguing against their insistence of referring to you as luna, defeat having settled upon you when you’d awoken to see what you can only describe as the ugliest scar that you’ve ever seen.

the raised skin is gnarled by the memory of teeth sinking into the plush tissue of your neck, the muscles bruised by the sheer power behind the force of which those teeth had claimed home within your skin, which, in turn, had bled a pretty mess all over the bedsheets. a week has passed since, and yet you’ve seen neither hair nor hide of the very wild who is responsible for marring the permanent scar that will forever disfigure your skin. it is shoko who visits daily, often accompanied by geto, who is yet to rid himself of the pitiful expression that is slowly starting to become increasingly irritating to look at. occasionally, it is the pink-haired fellow who comes to visit, and despite the fact that you’re yet to utter a single word in reply to his insistent rants and ravings about the pack—whom, in his words, are very much excited to meet you (you cannot bring yourself to return the sentiment)—you’ve still yet to learn of his name.

‘hot?’ shoko is moving toward the window, ‘we can just—’

‘no!’

the shriek is expelled from your lips before you can stop it, sweat accumulating on your nape as you strain to turn your head toward her. eyes wide, you’re stricken by the unfiltered fear that has your chest rising and falling rapidly, your breath uneven as you stare at her. she returns your stare with a gawk of her own, mouth agape as you struggle to push your weakened form from the mattress. she’s already rushing to aid you when your balance wavers, your knees buckling under your weight, and embarrassingly so, you cling to the hand that is kindly offered to you, your own palm clammy.

once more, your gaze is glued to the perfectly circular beam that whitens your vision.

the pulse at your throat increases in tempo, heartbeat thumping faster, and faster still, until your newly formed scar throbs, a pounding ache forming deep beneath your temples. that fire is itching at your skin again, and your jaw clenches, teeth locking together, a trickle of sweat rolling down the curve of your cheek. your stomach is in knots, and when you make the mistake of attempting to suck in a deep lungful of air, bile rises to the back of your throat, and you gag, barely able to slap the palm of your hand over your mouth in time. your chest heaves, but before shoko can offer you the trashcan that is hastily shoved in your direction, you’re already dropping to your knees, gut churning as you empty the contents of your stomach onto floor.

your skin thrums, flames tickling at your cheeks as you choke out a pained gasp. groggily, you blink, delaying the swimming of your vision by just a moment.

‘—una? lu—na?’ shoko’s voice comes from somewhere much further than her place by your side, and when you struggle to look at the frown that tugs at the space between her brows, the features of her face are blurred.

your lips part, delirium bubbling a strained laugh from the centre of your chest. only, your laughter is cut short, the healing wound at your shoulder jolting with a pang of heat that has you sobbing a low moan, your fingers reaching for the scar. horror dawns upon shoko, but whilst she reaches for you, she’s too slow, your nails scratching at the rough scab that had formed in order to protect the wound beneath it. immediately, a new form of warmth envelopes your shoulder, seeping a crimson mess through the thin fabric of your nightie, and you sag against the side of the bed, head lolling.

‘—ck! fuck!’

someone is grabbing at you, manoeuvring you from the puddle that is quickly soaking into the carpet, and hastily pulling you onto the bed. a large hand is clasped to the side of your neck, and in return, a wail burns the back of your throat as it erupts from the tip of your tongue.

‘—pha! summon the—!’

white burns through your retina, pupils dilating as the moon’s beam singes its way through the glass, the sight rendering you breathless. glassy-eyed, you swallow, not even acknowledging the acidity that sits on the flat of your tongue, nor the way that said tongue sticks the roof of your very dry mouth. your parched lips move, forming the syllables of a word that is foreign to you.

‘what'd she just say?’ geto grits, his grip on you straining when you attempt to sit upright once again. you don’t appear to notice the stream of blood that is smeared across your skin, entranced by the natural source of light that gleams before you.

shoko gapes, eyes wide as she fights to staunch the scarlet that continues to flow from the freshly opened scar. bewildered, she’s momentarily blinded by the dream-like smile that tugs at the corner of your mouth, eyes glazed over as your pupils flit between expanding and contracting.

‘goddess,’ shoko breathes. ‘she called for the goddess.’

๑

gojo is half asleep when his wild stirs, seconds before his office door flies open.

‘gojo—um—alpha!’ itadori rushes into the room, wide eyed, with a fresh smattering of red grazing the bridge of his nose. he’s breathing hard, evidently having run his way over to gojo’s office. ‘t-the luna!—she—!’

gojo is already tearing out of the door before itadori can finish his sentence.

‘the scar—’ he’s struggling to explain, breathless as he skips after the white haired alpha who is determined to make it to geto’s home within record timing. ‘it opened, and—!’

he’s silenced by the low growl that rumbles from the depth of gojo’s chest. although not aimed toward him, itadori isn’t blind to the wild’s presence that paints the whites of gojo’s sclera black, and so, diligently, his jaw snaps shut and he follows behind the thunder of gojo’s footsteps.

upon arrival, the alpha’s hackles immediately rise, his wild bristling at the heavy scent of blood that drifts through the closed door. urgency has his fingers curling tightly around the handle, tearing it open so harshly that the hinges squeak in protest as they strain to support the weight of the door roughly ricocheting from the wall behind. he swallows, gums bruising with the familiar growth of his canines protruding from the soft tissue, and he grunts under his breath. pulse increasing in pace, his veins hum, his wild stirring with the taste of something that lingers beneath with the iron-laced scent of you. he pauses in the doorway, not bothering to acknowledge the pained grunt that escapes itadori when he all but collides with the hardened muscles of gojo’s left shoulder, his ears straining to listen for the sound of your pulse.

thump… thump… th-thump…

it’s slow, the beat uneven in places, and the entire house is thickened by the taste of your blood, the song of your pulse suggesting that you’re unconscious.

this is confirmed when shoko’s feet appears within his line of sight as she makes her way down the stairs, her expression weary. geto follows closely behind, a frown marring the space between his brows, and yet all gojo’s sight can focus on are the stains that paint shoko’s hands a pretty shade of scarlet. immediately, the calm that had begun to settle upon him is rapidly replaced with the rigidity of his spine that has him straightening, the size of his form easily dominating the hallway. behind him, the front door clicks shut, and itadori forces an awkward laugh, breaking the silence.

no one acknowledges him.

‘she’s stable,’ shoko speaks quietly, watching the back and forth of the black that creeps in from the corners of gojo’s eyes, only to be repeatedly blinked away. he struggles, his wild cracking away at the surface of his skin, but he’s able to force away the urge to shift with an exhale that heaves his entire chest.

‘could do with your blood, though,’ geto grunts tiredly, eyelids heavy as he peers at his white haired friend from over the top of his mate’s head.

shoko is nodding along with him. ‘she’s lost a lot—we’re not sure why. but she needs—’

‘not sure?’ gojo snarls. ‘where is she?’

he’s already making a start toward the stairs, but shoko stands solid, blocking his path. ‘wait, gojo, i need you to listen to me.’

the wild refuses to do so.

ice-coloured eyes are unblinking, the lines of his shape a solid, frozen form.

something isn’t right.

upstairs, he can hear each gentle breath that is exhaled from between your lips. his wild pushes, forcing another footstep toward the stairs until he’s towering above shoko, who cranes her neck to look at him.

‘gojo.’

‘alpha—’

it is geto who snaps out his name next, at the same time itadori murmurs from somewhere behind him. there’s an unknown tension that charges the increased pace of his pulse, and he can feel the stuttered tremble of his breath escaping him. it is then that he makes the mistake of inhaling through his nostrils, his wild greedy, desperate to scent you once more.

that something that he’d caught onto earlier is now more noticeable, and the salt of your sweat clings to the tip of his tongue. his right eye twitches, and he then realises that your sweat hasn’t been induced by the typical heat of a summer’s evening.

no.

this time, the twang of your blood is intermingled with a hormonal charge that he won’t recognise until it’s too late.

shoko is the one who notices the shift first.

one blink is all it takes for his sclera to morph into the hue of ink.

and then before anyone can react, he’s brutishly shoving his way past shoko, who, if not for itadori rushing forward to catch her with a hand to her shoulder, would’ve been sent flying to the ground. geto’s warning huff is lost to him, as he’s already marching his way along the hall toward where the overwhelming scent of blood is the strongest.

again, his strength has the door thumping against the wall, the noise causing his upper to curl back, revealing the glare of his fangs that painfully jab against the fragile tissue of his bottom lip. his pupils expand, sight adjusting to the minimal lighting before drawing over to where you’re bundled under the covers.

quietly, he pads over to the bed, circling around the wooden frame until he’s able to look at your face. your breathing is gentle, soft, undeterred by his presence as you reside in the deep slumber that has your left arm curling, elbow crooking to pillow your cheek as you sleep.

you’re safe.

his wild settles with a satisfied purr, humming its approval down the shell of his ear.

his knees bend to accommodate the way that he crouches, and he nestles his chin on the edge of the mattress, heavily lidded gaze glued to the side of your face. your scent is thick, dominating the air until he has no choice but to inhale, and his wild is placated, something akin to contentedness relaxing his bones until his cheek rests on his forearm, his shoulders no longer aching with the strain that had previously locked his nerves tight.

downstairs, he can hear the faint murmur of someone—geto, probably—encouraging the others out of the building. he isn’t sure if that’s necessary, and yet, he’s grateful all the same. as soon as the front door is locked shut behind them, his wild purrs that little bit louder, and it seems that expression of delight is loud enough to have you stirring in your sleep. awed, he watches the way that your nose scrunches, brows pinching together as you shift beneath the covers. the movement causes the fabric to slip, a waft of iron drifting from inside, and he’s now forming a frown of his own at the sight of the new bandage that has been secured to the side of your neck. the cotton has already begun to seep a sprinkle of maroon, and the muscles of his jaw jump, winding tight beneath his skin. an ugly bout of nausea has him groaning his disapproval, the wild shifting, pulsing with the need to be freed from the confides of his human form.

somehow, it’s swallowed down with a strong bobbing of his adam’s apple, his eyes narrowing in on the pulse that beats at your throat.

the thump, th-thump, thumpthumpthump remains uneven, the tempo rising and then falling as you begin to settle into a deeper sleep, the frown easing until your forehead is smooth once more. blinking slowly, his gaze drifts over the features of your face, a warmth kissing the back of his neck as he does so. for a long time, he listens to the tick, tock of the bedside clock alerting him of the passing time. outside, it’s silent, majority of the pack partaking in the act of sleep now that it’s almost four am.

gojo remains wide awake until long after the little hand ticks past the number five.

for the last hour, his wild has been alert, but now it grows weary with exhaustion, and with it, his eyelids droop.

he must drift to sleep, because a short while later, he’s jolting awake, heartbeat quickening as his head lifts from the mattress. the aftermath of sleep burns at the corner of his eyes, ice-like irises quickly realising the cause of the interruption of his slumber.

you.

you’ve awoken, and although you’ve remained huddled inside the tangle of sheets that are still wrapped around your prone form, your eyes are now focused on him.

instinctively, his spine straightens, and he can feel the nervous churning of his gut as he awaits your reaction. he isn’t at all sure of how long you’ve been watching him, but he doesn’t imagine that it’s been long at all, as a yawn now stretches the corners of your mouth wide, the watering of your eyes, endearing.

neither of you dare to break the quietude, and so, for a questionable amount of time, you both watch one another.

unsurprisingly, his wild welcomes the way that your stare flits from his brows, his chin, his nose and his eyes before settling on the shape of his mouth. and whilst he bristles, a coating of goosebumps pushing along the surface of his skin, his wild preens under your attention.

he watches your lips part as if to say something, but the words aren’t uttered, a grimace twisting at your features as a pained groan is softly muffled into the fabric of the duvet. his hand is reaching out, his fingertips brushing over the sweat that still sits atop your forehead, and you sag, heaving a relieved sigh.

his wild is humming again, a tune that gojo doesn’t recognise until it’s too late. he’s tugging at the blanket, pulling it far enough to allow the escape of an overwhelmingly sweet scent of heat that hits him square in the face.

the affect is immediate.

the crotch of his sweatpants becomes uncomfortably tight as an all too familiar inferno throbs between his legs. his wild hisses, singing its approval in the form of a heated bark that has you leaning into the wide expanse of the palm of his hand. enamoured, he watches, your cheek nuzzled into the warmth of his skin, and the sight only encourages the arousal that is battling a mess of nerves into a coil that is twisting itself into the depths of his abdomen.

he’s already gasping for you, his wild yapping its encouragement as the pad of his thumb strokes over your right eyebrow. the rapid pulse of his heartbeat dizzies him, his blood thrumming with an instinctual craving that he’s never felt before. it has his stomach knotting, the length of his cock jumping, straining against the soft cotton that bulges with the size of him. your eyes flitter to catch the movement, and to his delight, your pupils are expanding, evidently as aroused as he is, your lips glistening with saliva as your tongue slicks them, before you swallow thickly. he can see the perspiration that matts the wisps of baby hairs to the space behind your ears, the dips of your collarbones shimmering.

another pang of heat emanates from under the covers, and gojo sucks in a harsh breath, the wild beckoned forth by the wanton mewl that is desperately breathed from between your lips. again, his cock twitches, and again, you greedily take in the sight, before desperation darkens the colour of your irises. your voice stutters on a choked moan, and gojo can’t help but mimic the sound with one of his own.

sclera blackening, he groans, entire body trembling with the effort to remain trapped within his human shape. but it hurts, and his wild makes it known with the whimper that is punched from his lungs. wide eyed, you strain to lift your head from the mattress, your heady scent—intermingled with the addictive iron that taints your skin—spreading to all four corners of the room in a way that makes it harder for him to breathe. the clammy glide of your hand reaching out to curl your fingers around the width of his wrist is distracting, and he realises a second too late that this is the first time that you’ve touched him of your own accord, his orbs fixated to the way that your lips move to mouth:

‘fuck me.’

#♡ jordy is writing ♡#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #werewolf! gojo #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo smut #satoru gojo smut #gojo x you #satoru gojo x you

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daydreaming-en-pointe · 2 months

Text

guys small vent-y announcement type of thingy?? idk

tw animal death (from old age) so if u don’t wanna see that then bye bye

okay so I don’t know if I’ve told all of you but I’ve been wanting to pursue veterinary medicine since I was in primary school, and for this summer our vet, who’s an old friend of the family, offered to have me around the clinic to help out occasionally and see how it actually is being a vet

let’s call the vet Marie for now (not her real name)

so yesterday at 12am my aunt called Marie up saying that her eldest dog, Mara, was wheezing and throwing up. Mara was a Shih Tzu and she was almost to her 14th birthday. Now my aunt had called me first so we were both waiting for Marie to get there and once she did, my aunt started explaining what Mara had been going through

Mara had been struggling with severe arthritis and problems with her lungs and throat for a while now, which is to be expected a little bit since she’s so old for a dog but she always seemed to get better in the nick of time yk

well apparently not this time, bc Marie found cancerous tumours in Mara’s belly. and Mara was so far gone already that she couldn’t do anything except sedate her and give her enough medicine to stop her heart so that she didn’t feel any of the pain in her last moments

and I’ve basically grown up with Mara. My aunt lives in the same apartment building as us so we visit her and her many pets all the time

Mara had this timelessness to her iykwim because I always had that sense of ‘oh, everything is gonna be fine, she’s gonna be fine’ even when she was sick bc she almost always used to get better so quickly after the worst bouts

and now she’s just gone.

so yeah it’s going to be a while till the house will feel close to the same again, even with the other two dogs, but at least Mara isn’t in pain anymore and she’s sitting and basking in some sunlit grass up there :)

#⋆·˚ 🪴 ༘ * — 𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗶 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝘀 #tw animal death #tw dog death #also it might be a while before i get back to writing bc this vet thing is keeping me mor busy than i thought it would #so thank you for your patience and i love you all 💗💗#i’m doing better now today though #i do understand that she was old i just didn’t really expect her time to actually come yk

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