Like most trans people, and queer people in general, my idea about 'being trans/queer' has changed a lot over the course of my life. I started transitioning in my late 20s/earlier 30s. I went through the "it's a medical thing" phase, I also said "I prefer 'transsexual' because I am only changing my sex not my gender". And those are all fine stances, but they sat ill with me cause I had always been so loud and proud queer. Why would I refuse a 'gay cure' and yet would want a 'trans cure'? Why was I, someone who beamed with pride when they called themselves a dyke, so afraid of being trans? Why would I wish to magically be cis? And why did it seem like transitioning would mean I was no longer queer? Why did I feel this feeling of 'Straight Man Doom"?...and why did it seem like so many other trans mascs though the same?

Meanwhile, I was also having to speed run working through my complicated thoughts on Men - especially if I was supposed to want to be one after all. Yeah I was 'jealous', ya know, "blah blah boyhood" and "being cis is free fuck you!" and all that, but why did I hate the idea of people seeing ME as a man? Ok yes I did double down a bit on being a 'man-hating' dyke - but WHY did it feel like I was losing something by transitioning?

Well turns out the short answer was that the first step to queer joy was overcoming my internalized toxic masculinity, because the thing I felt like I was losing was 'freedom'. All my life I have felt this overwhelming feeling of coming up short when measured to a man. This pressure to compete, to be the best. Cause if I lose then it was because I was a Girl. When I got my disability diagnosis, there was a sense of relief because surly THIS was why I was losing. Of course being a man would seem terrifying, now I would constantly have to compete in order to keep my gender. And of course I wouldn't want to be a man, I had heard from women EXACTLY what men were like! Of course I was going to have to stop being queer - I only liked women after all (LMAO) and if people knew I was trans/queer then I would seem more feminine and more "Really a Girl" to them. Of course I didn't want people to see me as a man, they were dangerous! Every woman I know has told me that! But if I was non-binary, then I was really just a girl right? And a disabled trans man is just a man that 's Losing, why would I want to be that? What if I transitioned and looked like a Creep?

At the end of the day being a dyke allowed more freedom then being a straight man - because at least when I was seen as a dyke I was never seen as dangerous to my allies, and I was still a dyke regardless of any "feminine hobbies or preferences". And look, of course some people have insinuated that I wasn't really a lesbian but it was far less frequent and way easier to wave off. It's one thing when once in a blue moon a guy who clearly wants to sleep with you goes "are you sure you're really a lesbian?" and it's another thing entirely when everyone around you INCLUDING YOURSELF starts holding you to the Male Norm and pointing out when you Lack.. And not for nothing but men were just straight up more vilified to me by everyone around me then dykes were.

Now obviously I came to an epiphany about this at some point, otherwise we wouldn't be 5 paragraphs deep into a blog post. Now I just Do What I Want Forever. I wish I could concisely describe the feeling to people. I wish I could meaningfully convey how much joy and freedom I gained when it felt like I could finally see my chains. But all I feel is frustration. How do I tell people that it's not just that will live in a sterile, white-centrist, binary obsessed gated community - it's that we live in a gender panopticon that everyone gleefully takes part in? It really is a bio-essentialist matrix: I can't point out that "Men have it bad" because they are in charge and have power, women can't be cruel to men because they are just fighting back against patriarchy. "They hate me because I'm a man" says the young white boy about to be recruited into the alt right. "I know what it's like to be a minority" says the white woman about to preach respectability politics. "You're less of a man if you are losing, you must always be working hard and earning! Don't talk about weakness or emotion, men are supposed to struggle and be hard!" says capitalism. "Yeah you're non-binary...but what are you really?" says someone who cares too deeply about 'gendered solicitation' - but not to fix it cause it's working as intended.

"There are just natural differences between men and women" says a system that has a vested interest in you believing that the people around you are inherently different from you in ways you can not comprehend - despite being your neighbor. When I say I'm trans what I mean is that I am a huddled mass yearning to be free, allowed dignity and agency. When I say I am a fag it is because I am a man that loves men radically, queer pride replacing patriarchal shame. And when I say I'm old it's because I'm exhausted from participating in this waking nightmare known as capitalism - despite having a note from my doctor saying I'm excused!

Hello. I had a question regarding your post about blind characters. I have a character in my WIP that must cover their eyes.. but it’s blind. He may need to tell people he is blind to explain why he covers his eyes though. I was wondering how I might write this character without offending. Thank you :)

I think I want to start by explaining the “covering blind eyes” trope and why it has become a harmful trope. I think understanding why it’s hurtful helps everyone learn how to handle it better.

I would guess that the “blind people wear sunglasses” trope comes from Hollywood for the specific reason of 1. wanting to signal to the audience that the character is obviously blind and 2. avoid breaking the suspension of disbelief by preventing the audience from catching the sighted actor look at visual stimuli (because disabled characters are almost always played by able actors).

But this changed the way the public expects to experience blindness. If watching a sighted actor wear sunglasses and say he’s blind is all the exposure to the blind community a person has had, that’s the only model of blindness they’ll recognize. If they meet a blind person in real life who doesn’t wear sunglasses, it’s going to break this built perception and cause an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. 

And then there is the common “cloudy-white blank gaze” that pops up in media. It stems from the fact that cataracts is the most common cause of blindness and the appearance of severe cataracts is a cloudy film in the eyes obscuring the iris and pupil. It can also alter what color a person’s eyes appears to be, making them appear paler and grey in the beginning and then as the cataract advances it becomes more yellow/brown and alters a person’s vision to appear more yellow tinted.

There are lots of other eye conditions that makes the eyes look visibly different. Albinism for instance affects the color and structure of the iris. Eyes might be congenitally misshapen. The muscles might be weak or not work and one or both eyes point significantly outward. Someone who was born blind and experienced no visual stimuli might also have weak muscles around their eyes because they never had a reason to focus their eyes on anything.

And unfortunately humans have the habit of feeling uncomfortable when they meet someone who looks very obviously different from the norm, whether that’s a personal style choice (hair color and style, tattoos, clothing choices) or something they can’t help (a visible disability, skin color, scars). 

To the paragraph above, @gothhabiba replied with:  “it's very weird & ahistorical to claim that racism or ableism are some kind of natural "human" trait.. like frankly it's apologia”

You’re right, I wasn’t thinking beyond that generalization or assumption.

Perhaps a better way to put it is: I was raised in a society where I was taught from childhood to think that there was only one kind of human being to be. White, cis, straight, abled, conservative. That’s a very western thing and that’s a thing I’m going to constantly be unlearning.

Racism and ableism and homophobia aren’t innate, that’s a western thing that was forced onto the rest of the world by colonialism. And because western media created this idea that the world is white, abled, cis, straight, and Christian-value leaning, it taught people to think that was the norm so that seeing someone different from that archetype would cause a cognitive dissonance, which causes discomfort.

And instead of working past that cognitive dissonance to learn more and realize there’s so much more to life than media taught you, society encourages you to ignore that cognitive dissonance by sticking your head in the sand-- or TV screen.

So combine these two tropes or common beliefs together and you get something a little dangerous: the idea that blind people cover their eyes because they look obviously different and they’re ashamed (or should be ashamed) of that.

And if you’re someone who’s just gone blind or who was born blind and you have little to no contact with the blind community, then this societal belief that you should be ashamed of how your eyes look becomes detrimental to your self-esteem and further builds internalized ableism.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve read or watched a blind character cover their eyes with sunglasses because they were ashamed of how their eyes looked. And I distinctly remember a few times where a sighted friend of the character was trying to convince them to stop wearing sunglasses because there’s nothing wrong with looking different--which is true, but it plays into this fantasy of being the perfect abled ally who saves the blind character from being miserable. 

In an ideal world, the character has no reason to believe looking different is a bad thing or diminishes their worth or makes people dislike them. And if they develop this belief, it’s more likely that someone more involved in the disabled community, most likely someone disabled themselves, will set them straight. Or that the character will learn to accept themselves on their own, looks included.

But there are some perfectly valid reasons for any blind person to wear sunglasses. They might have an interest in fashion and sunglasses complete the look they’re going for. They could want to protect their eyes from UV rays while they’re outside. They may experience light sensitivity and sunglasses reduces any discomfort or pain. Those are incredibly common reasons to wear sunglasses whether you’re sighted or blind.

But there are some more complicated situations.

In your words, your character must cover his eyes. You never specified why, so my primary guess is that he has some kind of power that is unpleasant or has devastating affects and the only way to prevent it is to keep his eyes covered. My primary guess stems from this post where an anon and I discussed a retelling of Medusa, a hypothetical blinding of oneself to avoid ever killing anyone ever again, and what I think I would do if I was in that scenario.

So how do you write a blind character who must cover their eyes and avoid some of the complications?

1. Your character must always have the ability to say “fuck off, it’s my business, I don’t have to tell you why I’m blind or why I cover my eyes.”

Most blind people really, really don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of why they’re blind and how they feel about it and what it’s like being blind with a stranger they’ll never see again or a new acquaintance they don’t know well yet. You have exceptions to that rule where sure, educating the public about blindness is a thing you want to do and you’re committed to helping your community, but I still have days where I don’t want to talk about being blind or disclose my medical crap.

And if someone doesn’t respect their right to their privacy or pushes too much, the blind character is allowed to be angry, is allowed to tell them off and complain without anyone else in the situation vilifying them or saying they’re “overreacting” and “should have just disclosed private information because big deal or whatever.” If they are angry, that’s their right, and it’s not unreasonable, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

2. Your character should not be ashamed of being blind or of covering their eyes. It is a part of their life, they’re used to it by now, even if they weren’t in the beginning.

The shame and internalized ableism is something that should be written about, but that’s for an own-voices story with a blind author. I don’t think an abled person will ever be able to understand how much society expects you to hate yourself and your disability because “being disabled is a tragic thing that ruins your life” and how that does affect your mental health, self esteem, your relationships with others, your medical care, and what kind of accommodations you can get.

3. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few sarcastic lines in response to uncomfortable conversations.

Stranger: so what’s with the...

Blind Character: what’s with what?

S: the... you know

BC: you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific

S: Your eyes?

BC: They’re... eyes

S: but you’re...

BC: Blind?

S: uh...

BC: yeah, I’m blind. *walks away*

Or this conversation:

S: *to some other character* so why are his eyes covered?

(author’s note: which, honestly, that’s fucking rude. At least have the guts to ask me yourself)

BC: If I look anyone in the eye they instantly perish.

*awkward silence*

BC: instantly.

Friend: It’s truly tragic

BC: *melancholic* that’s how I lost my sister. *chokes up* She was so young

Or this conversation:

S: Why are you wearing that?

BC: It’s called fashion Karen!

Or this conversation:

S: are you like... blind?

BC: yes?? why wouldn’t I be?? Wait, are you sighted? Are you one of those sighted people? You poor thing! What caused you to gain your sight? Do you have a car? A bike? Were you born sighted? What’s it like to see color? Do you miss not having to see 

God, I want a chance to try that last one. I haven’t interacted with a stranger in almost a year. One day...

4. Honestly, it’d also be cool if someone’s reaction to your character covering their eyes was like, “cool sunglasses,” or “cool *insert random character, even one you made up* cosplay,” (which is ten times funnier if this character is a notable figure in modern society like an actor who people might cosplay). 

5. You know, if he’s covering his eyes with some kind of blindfold, he should totally have custom blindfolds for his moods. Like, I have a mask that says “suck it up buttercup” and another that says “not today” because sometimes that’s the mood. And sometimes the mood is one of my floral masks, and sometimes the mood is my cat mask.

So, just some thoughts. I hope that helps.

Edit: a commenter said: “op, unless i'm mistaken this kind of reads like anon meant the character ISN'T blind but lies about being blind to explain covering their eyes? it seems like they made a typo on the word "isn't"”

So my original response to the question was based on the assumption that the character is blind. However,

If the character is not blind, then do not under any circumstances have them lie and say they’re blind to escape a mild inconvenience. 

It’s better to have the character actually explain the situation or straight up leave the conversation or invent a more ridiculous lie than to perpetuate the very real stereotype and misconception that there are people who fake being blind and therefore it’s okay to discriminate or harass them if you even suspect they’re faking.

Do not under any circumstances perpetuate that stereotype. Do not harass someone because you don’t think they’re blind enough.

i'm,, trans and hc chihiro to be a male..

i'm sorry, but i don't quite understand how that's transphobic. could you please explain how chihiro is transmisogynistic? (sorry if i come off as rude - that's not my intention and i genuinely just don't understand, though i would like to!!)

What is transmisoginy?

"Transmisogyny is a distinct category of transphobia in that transmisogyny mainly focuses on trans women and other transgender individuals who demonstrate femininity, whereas transphobia is a more general term, covering a broader spectrum of prejudice and discrimination towards transsexual and transgender individuals. Julia Serano states in Whipping Girl that "when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny." "

Chihiro is written to mock trans women, to say that in reality trans women are secretly men, she is a man who is weak and uses being trans as a way to escape her problems, this is a thing that is also said to trans men a lot, that theyre just trying to avoid the hard parts of being a woman by becoming a man. Even if the writters intended it to be like that or not (which they probably did because transphobia is a big thing that happens a lot, obviously) it's still transmisogynistic. Thats that on that

This is a pretty common transphobic trope actually, the "Turns out this one character was actually from the opposite sex??!!", theres more examples of this in other games outside Danganronpa.

But also her experience is pretty different from other examples, her experiences are way too similar with trans womens experiences.

This is mostly for the cis people who call her a crossdresser and refuse to change their mind, on it, sit down.

Written by a trans man.

Don't tell me whats transphobic and what it's not transphobic if you're cis. Just sit down and read.

Tw: transphobia, transmisoginy, death mentions and blood in the pictures.

The game implies a lot of stuff with her dialogue, it doesn't straight up says "I don't want to be a woman anymore, I'm a man" like everyone claims it does.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm going to get stronger...and accept who I am... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Strong enough so that when someone says "even thought you're a boy" I'll be okay. I'll get better! ]

[ Alt text 3:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I wrapped myself in lies. I'm weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! ]

[ Alt text 4:

Chihiro Fujisaki: ... I want to change. ]

[ Alt text 5:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I have to change. I don't want to be weak anymore ]

She goes to Mondo not because hes masculine, but because she admires him and his strength. She never once says it's because shes a man or because Mondo is a man.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Maybe talking to Mondo about it will help give me some courage... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I admire... your strength... ]

These dialogues can be read in two ways, the first one being the one the game tries the hardest to put in your head thats shes a man, all of this guessed by other people btw not what she herself says. Which is really transphobic, because she was written as a trans woman and then theyre like "uh no actually hes a man, because he was born as one but hes a coward so he started to dress as a woman to hide from his problems. Because thats what people do right? People who dress as their oppossite gender are so pathetic, specially men amiright? Ahaha"

Reading it in this way really weird, you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics because you would literally call her a trans woman with all of this if the rest of the trial, that consists of cis people assuming shes a man, didn't happen. And sadly you're following transphobic ideas by this. Because the canon is transphobic and transmysoginistic.

And the other way is just read what she says, that she just wants to be stronger and stop lying to everyone, basically about being cis, because shes not, shes amab (assigned male at birth) and thats probably what she said to Mondo, but most people when a trans person who already passes or is in their transition comes out many people tend to think "oh so youre your gender assigned at birth and not the one you claim to be?", because they don't get what being trans is and they think only "biological gender" is a thing. Basically, misgendering and invalidating the trans person.

I can guess all of this just because of how vague they decided to make her dialogue, not even showing how she tells Mondo about being amab.

What did she said to Mondo? "I'm trans"? "I'm a man"? "I was born a man"? We dont know, because they didn't show it and she died right afterwards and then everyone was like "Chihiro was secretly a man" to solve the case and thats it. A lot of people in the discourse get their information from Monokuma who isn't either Chihiro or even Mondo. Monokuma knows many things but he can't read minds to know if she was really trans or not, only she could say it but she died so she couldn't explain if shes trans or not.

[ Alt text:

A youtube comment by Gail Frisbee, posted 4 days ago, this comment was edited by the autor. The comment says:

"It's honestly increible to me when people try to argue that a scene in which a female-presenting character gets their genitals groped and then is posthumously referred to as a male from that point on can't be transphobic just because that character calls themselves a boy in some other side content later. It's on about the same level of intellectual honesty as claiming that Quiet from MGS5 isn't really fanservice because she totally breaths throught her skin you guys.

As it turns out, if you really dig down deep into the lore, Chihiro is a fictional character and the same people who wrote the genital investigation scene also wrote the lines that character says in the game as well. It's a shocking twist, I know." ]

Her fears of being outed and people founding out her secret (being trans) or being transphobic is used as a gross big twist. A trans woman being used as a mockery of trans people? Great totally normal (/sarcasm)

Read this post made by a trans woman. I'll be using this only part but it's still a great read.

[ Alt text:

So. There is a lot to unpack here, but I want to start with something that specifically hurts me as a trans woman, and that's how the game flippantly uses real world horrors trans people face as shocking reveals and twists. You can go down the list for "worst nightmares" of trans people incluiding:

Threatening to be outed against your wishes

Outing yourself to a trusted friend and being met with rejection, or worse, violence

Having your body and privacy examined and invaded

Having your deadname used and being misgendered after death, when you can't correct them ]

Now, let's go to her backstory for a bit. I will be using the wiki for this. (Which sadly uses he/him for her 💔)

" When Chihiro was a child, he became the subject of harassment and bullying. He was always told to "be a man" and that he was "so weak despite being a boy", and because of that, Chihiro slowly but surely began to develop a "weakness complex". In order to escape the bullying, Chihiro began to dress as a girl so that people wouldn't bully him as a weak boy. "

This doesn't sound like a normal crossdresser, this sounds like a trans woman who was bullied for being different when she was younger, like many trans people, and then she decided to transition because she's a woman, she wanted to be more feminine and stop being seen as a person shes not. Specially after so many people tell her to basically man up when she doesn't want that, because shes not a man.

Have you ever heard of the classic stories of "since I was little i knew i was different, i was a boy who liked playing with dolls and was more feminine than the rest" or "i used to be a tomboy when i was little, i had mostly male friends, i liked playing with car toys and was more masculine than other kids" coming from trans people? This just sounds as these types of stories to me.

People also like to say that alter ego uses he/him pronouns and says shes a boy. Many trans people can misgender themselves for personal reasons too guys, she could've been trying to misgender herself because she didn't felt like she wasn't enough to be a real woman, this happens a lot to trans people. If people constantly tell you that you're not actually transgender or you just feel like you're faking it then you might actually believe it, thats were most "detransitioners" come from. And thats basically what they made her, a detransitioner.

Some of you might also don't get how shes trans because you think she doesn't perfect or exact trans stereotypes. Trans experiences can be similar on the feeling of not fitting in, dysphoria, etc. But trans experiences, stories, transitions and complete lifes can be very different, because we all (including cis people) live different lifes, experience, process and cope with things differently. So i can understand why you might not get her being trans coded at first, don't worry. But try instead of just not caring because you don't get it at the first try, to see what trans people say.

This whole discourse its mostly cis people talking over trans people about their own experiences (incluiding the dead trans coded characters experience) saying if theyre valid or not and denying stuff not wanting to learn anything, completely refusing to it because "In canon hes a boy" ok then in canon shes written in a transphobic way too but most of you don't care about that. You would rather call her a crossdresser than try to acknowledge how obviously trans coded she is and how thats used as transphobia.

The way most cis people act in this discourse is very transphobic to me to be honest, if you think you're a good ally but act like this then you should get more educated on the topic as a whole and about trans people too.

-the trans Chihiro flag to finish this up, she has a bit boobie! good for her! good for her.

@cupidmarwani​ // this isn’t 100% happy but here we go

I think along with being bullied for being “weird” (aka showing signs of (unmedicated) ADHD) he was also bullied for being GNC, or “obviously” gay, even though he was like... convinced he was cis and straight (until high school)

10 y/o Buck: it’s completely normal to get “!!!” when the cashier at subway calls you sir even though you’re definitely definitely definitely a girl :) 100% girl :)

I think it’s important to note that he definitely knew that, like, gay people were a thing - I think there was probably an elderly lesbian couple that frequented his shul as a child and he was always just *saucer eyes* at them

(also he didn’t know why he was so “obsessed” with seeing gay couples on the street... or at his shul... until he was like “oh... I am a gay people... nice :)”)

12 y/o Buck: being uncomfortable with your birth name to the point of being nauseous every time you hear it is super normal actually :) anyway call me Buck or I’ll kick your shins :)

anyway Buck joined GSA his freshman yr of high school because he thought it’d be a great way to be an Ally(tm) and definitely wouldn’t awaken anything in him :)

when he joined GSA that’s when he met his Very First Trans Person

but let’s be real - he has probably met a trans person before without knowing it but, like, this was the first trans person he met who was like “I’m trans :)”

anyway! she was a trans woman (Ellie), two grades above him, and the first time she talked about her experiences(tm), Buck was just *saucer eyes* and he was just :O

14 y/o Buck: this sounds similar to my experiences :) I’m not trans though :) because I’m a Girl :) 100% a girl :)

but like anyway he kept going to GSA... as an Ally(tm)... and also he asked Ellie a lot of questions because he wanted to be a Great Ally(tm) and not because he was trans

two months later he was like “hmm... so that seems like... it was a lie...” and he came out - only to the people in GSA though - and he started testing the waters with new names (but he still mostly went by Buck as a “safe” name)

he came out to Maddie first- over winter break. it was the fifth night of Hanukkah. their parents had gone to bed and they were sitting in the living room, watching the candles burn, and eating the last of the latkes (and also arguing a little over which topping is best- sour cream or ketchup)

then he just kind of blurted it out- it definitely went something like “I’m sorry but ketchup is the best topping, you’re just wrong :/” then he blurts out “I’m trans” and Maddie’s probably kind of like “...okay? that has nothing to do with what is the superior topping but... okay? I still love you?”

obviously I think they have a more... serious, in-depth discussion about Buck being trans later but when he first tells her they just kind of leave it at that and move on

he comes out to their parents (with Maddie’s support) probably the first week of summer and I think they’re a little confused but they’re pretty supportive and do their best to educate themselves (Maddie helps them because almost as soon as Buck told her she did a lot of reading, I think)

also he comes out to his friends over the summer as well and probably loses a ton of them which sucks a lot for him because he didn’t think they’d have that poor of a reaction (especially considering they were supportive of their other friend who came out as gay a few months prior)

anyway, I like the idea of Maddie picking his name! with his permission of course... like I think they’re chilling in Buck’s room, talking about Trans Things(tm), and Maddie’s just “so is Buck going to be your name or........? because I love you but Buck Buckley sounds bad”

Buck’s kind of like >:( though he agrees and is just “uh no :/ I can’t find a name that fits though :/” and so Maddie’s like “oooh can I pick” and he’s like “...I will take suggestions, yes”

it’s not until halfway thru summer that Maddie finally comes up with a name- Evan -and they spend the summer calling him it just to see how he feels about it and he’s “!!!”

the last day of summer, Maddie cuts Buck’s hair and the euphoria!!! whew!!! his parents aren’t Too Happy about that but mostly because they end up having to take him to a professional hairstylist to Fix It and by the time they’re done fixing it, his curls are gone :(

Buck starts sophomore year with a semi-new wardrobe, a new name, a new haircut- a new everything

things are still :/ but he really does find out who is Real Friends are during sophomore yr and a lot of people are pretty supportive of him being trans(tm) and also he makes new friends!!! who love and support him!!!

also I think his extended family are pretty supportive- a little confused but supportive and they definitely slip up (just like his parents do sometimes) but it’s not malicious

his parents coordinate with the rabbi to see if he can have a bar mitzvah (since he had a bat mitzvah for his 12th birthday) and for his 16th birthday he gets a bar mitzvah and also a new (masculine) Hebrew name that his parents help him pick out :0

also Maddie buys him an LGBT siddur because I think that’s neat (there actually is an LGBT siddur- iirc it was created by a reconstructionist or reform synagogue in San Francisco)

also for his 16th birthday, his name is legally changed so he’s officially Evan Buckley on all of his documents and also his gender marker is changed too :)

anyway!! shortly after his 16th birthday, they start working on getting him on testosterone- because his therapist recommended it and it’s something Buck has been wanting for a hot minute

he starts testosterone a few months later which is very fun for him and he’s very :)

Maddie bullies him for having (and refusing to shave) his rat mustache but it’s all in good fun and also it is kind of ugly

(luckily for Maddie, he ends up growing a beard when his testosterone dosage is upped so the rat ‘stache doesn’t hang around)

anyway, he gets top surgery (double incision) the summer after he graduates- insurance covered some of it but the rest is covered by his parents (due to the cost they basically tell him that’s his grad gift which is fine with him tbh)

I think after top surgery Buck is pretty much... not dysphoric?

like, I don’t see him as having bad bottom dysphoria and most of the things he was dysphoric about went away after top surgery and testosterone

(ie his voice got deeper; he got taller on testosterone (though he was tall to begin with imo); his chest got [redacted]; etc)

so, like, yeah- I think he has bottom dysphoria but it’s “mild” (if any dysphoria can be called mild) and it’s not bad enough that he wants, or feels he needs, any of the bottom surgeries available

also he does pack but not consistently imo? I feel it’s mostly cause he forgets to because, again, he just... isn’t bothered by what’s going on down there

I think that is all... also I can’t believe I wrote... almost 1300 words... solely on trans!buck headcanons... we stan... I guess?

you never hear about anyone douching in charmie porn.... *cough* sorry fanfic... pmsl. its never been about queer rep... i hate it when straight cis women bang that drum around movies like cmbyn... they would NEVER get this hot under the collar for real queer content like tangerine for example.

Good morning, nonnie, a lot to unpack here.

1) Hate is a big word and hating on cis women is kinda widespread with some gay men (the infamous fag hag). I don’t like this. Sounds misogynystic and is the wrong way to go about this issue imo, though I get what you mean and your frustration with certain self-proclaimed allies.

2) A lot of these straight identifying women might not be that straight after all. You live and learn. Ofte, watching gay movies can be a catalyst for women to find out more about their own sexual orientation.

3) Is cmbyn a gay movie? I’d say it’s a bisexual movie. Doesn’t mean only bi people are allowed to enjoy it though. There are some good articles about the sanitized gayness in cmbyn, exemplified by 2 straight identifying actors playing the leads and THAT TREE, for example. I also read that this isn’t just a thing with female viewers enjoying gay sex but not too much, but also that gay men themselves enjoy watching straight men ‘play’ gay. This touches some deep rooted ‘longings’ in the gay community for straight men, as can be seen in a lot of gay porn (Giving it to my Straight Neighbour kinda stuff, and isn’t that some form of fetishising as well?).

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/the-empty-sanitized-intimacy-of-call-me-by-your-name

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/nov/23/call-me-by-your-name-gay-sex-oscars

4) This sanitized queerness, filming a tree instead of more of E & O in bed for example, both makes the film probably more accessible to straight viewers and therefore guarantuess a broader audience to be reached by the film’s message which is, among other things, promoting tolerance for same sex relationships, but for the price of erasing a significant part, the same SEX, of these relationships. The jury’s still out on the question if that’s beneficial or backwards.

5) Slash fanfic or smut is essentially porn, written to get the reader off. Nothing wrong with that and whatever rocks your boat. I don’t see men douching in gay porn movies either. Porn sells a fantasy, not ‘real’ sex with all its messiness and ridiculousness. No harm done there as long as you don’t think this is how sex works or uses it as sex ed. There’s also fanfic without smut, though I agree that from what I’ve been seeing with a lot of writers leaving the fandom, those who keep writing T/A fic have fallen into a pattern where A is the manly hunk and T the soft flower, being depicted with traditional female attributes like delicate, pale, thin, smaller etc. D/s fics dominate, or Daddy!Armie and baby!tim. To me, that’s boring but to each their own.

6) There are a bunch of reasons why straight identifying women enjoy gay porn and gay slash fic and summing it all up as fetishising is unfair (also, fetishes are a part of sexuality and not inherently a bad thing). A good book on it is ‘Girls who like Boys who like Boys’. Some reasons are: 2 dicks are better than one / no big-boobed blond woman in gay porn to which the female audience has to compare herself, finding the own body lacking / for women who’ve experienced abuse or assault gay porn can be a form of still enjoying sex but taking themselves and their bodies out of the equation as gay men have no interest in them, either predatory or otherwise / gay porn allows equality between the partners, it’s not, as in het porn, clear from the start who penetrates whom, which breaks with traditional sexual roles always depicting women as passive, as to be conquered, pissing a lot of women off.

All that being said, I agree that probably many of those women who ship charmie wouldn’t enjoy the movie as much if it showed more explicit gay sex like anal penetration. There are movies and also books that depict queerness more openly, and they don’t have the kind of success cmbyn had.

But Charmies are a special case: they want to force gayness on 2 straight presenting actors. Maybe some of the above listed reasons come into play. Maybe it’s because many are young and don’t know much about sex at all, looking for some kind of perfectly sanitized safe romance. Other female charmies insert themselves into Tim’s part, making him the ‘female’ of the ship, to imagine traditional straight sex with AH. Some are obviously psychotic and need professional help. It’s a colorful mixture.

In the end, no piece of media can choose who consumes and enjoys it. The moment it’s released it’s the death of the author and everyone takes away from it what they need. This can’t be restricted.

Yet I personally would wish for more tolerance on both sides. I want explicit queer content but not just for queer people. Gate keeping doesn’t lead anywhere and is futile.

Oh, and I forgot 7) Was it a good idea to have 2 straight identifying actors play E & O? It surely added to the appeal for straight audiences because I believe no matter how good an actor you are, if you can’t draw on your own experience it’s not quite the same as if you as an actor know what you’re portraying esp in intimate settings. So queer actors might have portrayed E and O different, maybe queerer. But that’s a huge issue in itself and all I want to say to it is: a) we need more queer characters on screen and in media b) I want queer characters played by queer people. I also want straight / non-binary / ace characters played by queer people c) I don’t like ‘playing gay’ to be seen as a daring choice or rite of passage for serious straight actors.

I think as with every piece of media it’s always worth to open-mindedly examine: why do I enjoy it? What do I enjoy about it? There’s no right or wrong here, nothing is verboten. But reflecting on ‘what does this mean to me?’ never harmed anyone either and gives media consumption it’s deeper meaning and reason. If charmies were able to do this they wouldn’t have gone so completely off the rail like they did.

These shippers running amok now are just batshit crazy and not a good example of fandom or allies at all.

As a minority, I don’t know if I particularly like that CR has diversity as PCs or not. In TV shows and regular media, this kind of rep feels super important. But this type of media? This type of show? It feels like masquerading or some type of pantomime of our struggles. Trying to ‘think’ and play act what my (our) lived marginalised experiences are like. It’s not that I think they’re doing it out of mocking our hardships. But still feels like a caricature when it’s done by people who couldn’t grasp marginalised struggles. It’s why I don’t mind if they played all CIS white characters. I would much rather NPCs have diversity. Having some of these characters try and imitate real-world struggles of our marginalised people, it just feels like they’re ‘playing house’. They’re trying through the characters to experience our pain, our struggles... It’s different from normal media because you don’t delve into the psyche of a tv character like you do with CR. I mean, it’s got an incredible number of hours dedicated to charactistation. That’s why I would probably much prefer watching them play their CIS straight white characters. My hardships aren’t something you can explore at a table with more cis white people. I don’t think they do it out of malice. Certainly many people cried ‘diversity!’ At the end of C1. But after watching C2, I think I’d rather them play the experiences they somewhat know, than try to explore my (and our) lived marginalisation in a fantasy world. I’d love to see more Minority guest stars instead. Because the cast can’t properly portray something they can never fully grasp. Marginalised stories are not edgy backstories to flavour your character with.

Anon here from the post about representation within CR and marginalised people. I’m not trying to be harsh on the cast. They obviously are trying to show allyship through having representation ingame. It just doesn’t feel totally right to me, I would love instead that they show it through increased minority guests, hire more minorities within their company, and continue to up their advocation for minority causes. Or even start a minority stream on their channel. It just doesn’t feel right them playing my (and our) lived marginalised experiences, when they couldn’t know the inner turmoil and pain that happens. Let them play their white CIS characters, let them enjoy their game, but then show representation through other forms. They have the platform, I’d love to see them use it more.

I agree 100% with you Anon! I saw someone on TikTok calling out CR for its cast members RPing as POC because it is basically just playing a POC for its aesthetic...and let me tell you when I heard that my first response was to push back on that as in some of my own games my depictions of my characters have been POC and I knew I was coming from a place of respect and representation and actively seek out the best way to represent and respect all cultures...but thinking about it more I definitely understand this idea that it is purely for aesthetic reasons and as a white person I cant embody the struggles of POC and their ethnicity is not there for me to role play but to respect, accept, and understand and maybe on some level I was doing it in some ways for brownie points or prove to myself how woke I am?

like yeah its a tough pill to swallow but like...that’s how you listen to people from a marginalized group of people you are not a part of? like you can’t just listen to the voices that are the easiest to listen to and call yourself and ally and then get pissy when there harder things to wrap your head around and accept. If a marginalized person tells you your actins are hurting them and why you have to listen to be an actual ally!

And while CR isn’t doing this rep out of malice they probably shouldnt be playing POC themselves on 1) a fundamental level 2) because they consider it representation over having more POC guests or a POC cast member 3) they aren’t being responsible with their representation and continually promote and use white washed art 4) Do not listen to POC voices

This all leads to CR playing as POCs in their game to being 1) purely aesthetic and 2) performative. Even if they don’t think it, they are doing it for brownie points and aren’t being the allies that they think they are. A big rule of thumb that I think a lot of us white people don’t follow is...don’t do rep to make yourself feel better/good, do it to raise POC voices in you community!

Seeing people talk about my chest like that makes me feel better though, I think youre post is disingenous. Like when I can go online & see people saying my body is sexy, it makes me feel better. It feels like us transmascs who like our chests are a minority anyway. And it sounds like you're saying people who support us are all creeps.

ok like......... i get you. (i dont appreciate being called ‘disingenuous’ on whats obviously a vent post but like. overall i can understand what youre getting at)

long post ahoy because.... you asked. also im assuming your transmasc and this post is only about transmasc stuff, id sound like an idiot if i tried to talk about transfem experiences bc im. not

so firstly, i think this is just straight up a competing needs situation. im reminded of conversations about whether or not it’s productive to go around saying everybody’s pronouns. for me, i tend to prefer it because it allows me a semi-natural space in which to tell people that i use nonstandard pronouns. however, stealth trans people are put on the spot, and closeted trans people have to choose whether to out themselves or misgender themselves whenever ms. cis professor asks everyone to announce their pronouns in front of the class. something thats helpful and validating for me ends up throwing other trans people under the bus. and, you know, with these discussions we usually have to come to some kind of compromise. maybe its better for that teacher to send around a written form thats completely optional, to make the experience less public or compulsory. maybe in some spaces the pronoun-circle is ok and in others it’s not. all of these convos require not just nuance, but deliberate hard work.

likewise i think a similar conversation and tension can take place when we talk about what language is appropriate when discussing trans peoples’ bodies, particularly other trans peoples’ bodies. i was being facetious in my tumblr.gov text post, but it can be very vexing when the only types of transmasc positivity are so problematic. the first type is problematic because it reinforces binaristic ideas about the types of trans men that exist: the no-t / pre-t feminine trans man versus the transitioning masculine trans man. these assumptions completely preclude the idea of transitioning AND feminine trans men, or non-transitioning AND masculine trans men.

(caveat #1: this is to say nothing about the types of language which permeate these posts. a post for another day, but tldr, they’re often condescending. i dont know ANY trans man who’s happy when someone bends over backwards to call him ‘heckin manly’ when no one in the world would address a cis man that way.)

the second type of problematic “positivity” is the kind you addressed in this message -- the sexual stuff. sexual positivty is fine. im not against it at all. but it cannot be the only type of positive transmasculine encouragement we see. it just cannot! this shouldnt require elaboration because when a person’s only positivty towards a marginalized group is sexual, that’s not positivty, it’s fetishization. however, given the propensity for sexual abuse among transmascs, i find it especially troubling that so much of our “positivty” concerns our reproductive organs or seconday sex characteristics. so much about our breasts, our vaginas, what kind of sex it’s ok for us to have, what kind of sex people would like to have with us. if your only transmasc positivity is “eat his pussy thursday,” you’re not an ally, you have a fetish.

(caveat #2: if youre a trans man and youre thinking ‘but i love eating my bf’s pussy and i love posting about it!!” just....... chill out, ok? im obviously talking about ppl who arent transmascs. dont worry about it. its fine ur fine. im t4t i obviously dont think its bad for trans ppl to want to fuck each other)

im sure youve stopped reading by now bc this got long, but essentially, im not saying that ppl cant post stuff abt trans men being sexy. if those posts make you happy, great. but when theyre the only posts that make the rounds and get thousands of notes -- and when theyre not coming from transmascs, but are instead about transmascs -- then, at best, these posts are well-intentioned displays of allyship that dont quite make the mark. at worst, theyre dehumanizing. so, no, i dont think everyone who makes those posts is a creep, but i do want people to be critical about the ways in which they talk about transmascs. im sure some ppl, like you, are totally fine w those posts. and in a vaccum, i dont care that much about them tbh. but when its all you see -- when those sexual posts are the beginning and end of peoples’ interactions with transmasculinity -- it’s a big problem. please think of the bigger picture.

J.K Rowling & The Echo Chamber of TERFs: Why Nobody Wants your Transphobic “Opinion”

TW// Discussion of Sexual Assault and Transphobia

SO...

I’ve seen the term “allyship fatigue” going round a lot lately on Twitter, since the issues of police brutality, institutional racism, and now transphobia have taken central stage.

And it’s weird. To be honest, hearing other white cis people calling themselves “allies” has always sounded kinda self-congratulatory. Taking this to the level of martyrdom that the phrase “allyship fatigue” evokes makes me want to heave. It’s shit that anyone even has to be saying Black Lives STILL Matter, but it does seem to unfortunately be the case that every time there is a highly publicised murder of a black individual by police, the explosion of us white people calling ourselves allies and retweeting and reblogging statements of solidarity only lasts so long before half revert back to being complacent with and uncritical of a world seeped with casual racism. Is that what “allyship fatigue” is? The excuse for that? Not only does the term take the focus off of the marginalised group the movement is centred around but it makes supporting equal rights sound like some kind of heroic burden we’ve chosen to take on rather than addressing a debt we owe and being not even good but just plain decent human beings. WE are not the ones shouldering the weight here, and if your mental health is suffering, that is not the fault of the people asking for their rights. Log off. We have the privilege to do that. It just doesn’t need to be a spectacle.

At the same time, this public onslaught of ignorance and hatred that the coverage of the Black Lives Matter movement has triggered (that let me again emphasise, black people have had to involuntarily be on the receiving end of their whole lives) and the frustration and anger that comes from seeing these absolute trash takes from people with no research into the subject who build their argument purely on “what about”isms is do-I-even-want-to-bring-children-into-this-fucking-world levels of miserable. In terms of earth beginning to look more and more like the prequel describing the events which lead up to a dystopian novel, the chaos of the last 4 weeks or so (2020 has not only shattered the illusion of time but also danced on the shards, I know) is the tip of the iceberg. I saw a thread about what’s going on in Yemen at the moment, which I had no idea about, and immediately felt consumed by guilt that I didn’t know. With the advent of social media, there’s been this sudden evolutionary shift where we’re almost required and expected to know about, have an opinion on, and be empathetic with every humanitarian crisis at once. I think young people feel this especially, which is why I say that sometimes it’s worth talking to an older person before you brush them off as a racist or a homophobe and see if they’re open to hearing different opinions-in general, I think we’re a generation that is used to being expected to consume a huge amount of information at once. They are not. For a lot (NOT all) of the older, middle-class, white population, ignorance isn’t a conscious choice, it is the natural way of life. The parameters of empathy until very recently have only had to extend just past your closest circle of friends to encompass people you “relate to”. That doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of caring about other things, and sometimes we owe them a chance to change their perspective first, if for no reason other than to advance the cause of, well, basic human rights for all.

So where does J.K Rowling come into all this? I hear you ask. Why doesn’t she just stop rambling? You potentially wonder. Well, I’m getting to it. 

J.K Rowling isn’t an unconsciously ignorant people. She is what I would call consciously ignorant. And of all weeks to flaunt this ignorance, she chose a time when people are already drowning in a cesspit of hatred. The woman whose whole book series supposedly revolves around the battle between good and evil didn’t even try to drain the swamp. She instead added a bucket of her transphobic vitriol into it. 

Let me preface this by saying that I wouldn’t wipe my arse with the Sun. What they did with the statement she made regarding her previous abusive relationship, seeking out said abusive partner for an interview and putting it on the front page with the headline “I slapped J.K”, whilst expected from the bunch of cretinous bottom feeders who work there, is disgusting. That being said, the pattern of behaviour J.K Rowling has exhibited since she first became an online presence is equally disgusting, and just because the Sun have been their usual shithead selves, doesn’t mean we should forget the issue at hand, that issue being her ongoing transphobia and erasure of trans women from women’s rights.

As I’m sure is the case for many people on Tumblr, J.K Rowling has always been such a huge inspiration for me, and Harry Potter was my entire childhood. My obsession with it continued until I was at least 16 and is what got me through the very shit years of being a teenager, and that will forever be the case. I’m not here to discuss the whole separation of the art from the artist thing because whilst I ordinarily don’t think that’s really possible, at this point the “Harry Potter universe” has become much bigger than J.K herself. I was so pleased to see Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint all affirm their support for trans rights-I was raised on the films up until the 4th one which I wasn’t old enough to see at the cinema, and the DVD was at the top of my Christmas list. They were always my Harry, Hermione and Ron. It was only between the fourth and fifth films that I started to read the books to fill that gaping in-between-movies hole, but as I grew up, I read them over and over and over again. Any of the subtext that people are talking about now in light of her antisemitism and transphobia went completely over my head, though who knows, whilst I can sit here and write that I’m certain I didn’t, maybe I did pick up some unconscious biases along the way? The art/artist discussion is a complex one and I don’t know if I’ll ever read the books again at this point.

There was absolutely no subtext, however, in the “think piece” on J.K’s website addressing the response to her transphobic tweets. There wasn’t all that much to unpack in the first tirade, they were quite openly dismissive-first that womanhood is defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation (I currently don’t due to health issues but I’m betting this wouldn’t make me any less woman in her eyes), and second, regurgitating an article which furthers the fallacy that trans women simply existing erases the existence of cisgender lesbian women. Rowling’s initial response to the backlash was to blame it on a glass of red wine, I think? Which is such a weird go-to excuse for celebrities because not once have I ever got drunk and completely changed my belief system. If you’re not transphobic sober, you don’t suddenly become transphobic drunk. What you are saying is that you’re not usually publicly transphobic (which isn’t even the case with Rowling because this is hardly her first flirtation with bigotry via social media) but that whoopsies! You drank some wine and suddenly thought it was acceptable!

Now what is her excuse for the formal response she wrote to the backlash, dripping with transphobic dog whistles and straight up misinformation (UPDATE: and as of yesterday, blocking Stephen King quite literally for replying to her with the tweet “trans women are women”, in case you thought that this whole thing was a case of her intentions being misconstrued)? Drunk tweets are one thing but if she managed to write a whole fucking essay whilst pissed I imagine there’s a lot of university students out there who’d pay her good money to learn that skill.

Here is the bottom line. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. There is no discussion around that. And if you don’t understand why, at the very least, you can be respectful of the way a person chooses to identify, especially when that person is an already targeted minority.

Obviously, sex and gender are complex things. Based on the fact that we don’t walk around with our nether-regions out, we generally navigate our way through the world using our gender and the way we present our gender. Gender of course means many different things to many different people; some see it as a sliding scale kind of thing whereas some people can’t see themselves on the scale at all, and choose to use terms other than man or woman to express how they identify. But, whatever gender one chooses to identify as, we live in a modern world-with all the scientific advancements we’ve made and all that we now know about the brain, using what is between people’s legs to define them is an ignorant, outdated copout. You’ll find that a lot of transphobes can live in harmony with trans women who conform, who have classically feminine features, maybe facial feminisation surgery, trans women who keep quiet about how they’re seen by cis women and don’t kick up “too much of a fuss” (which is in itself still a perfectly valid, brave and understandable way to live your life after years of feeling like you don’t fit in btw). The trans women that Joanne and her friends take the most issue with is the ones who want to expand what womanhood means and stretch the boundaries of what is and isn’t acceptable, destroying the confines of simplistic model that TERFs feel comfortable operating within. The ones who fight to be recognised as no “lesser” than cis women. Calling a person a TERF is quite literally just asserting that they are someone who wants to exclude trans women from their definition of womanhood, or in other words wants to cling to the old, obsolete model. If J.K Rowling cannot let the statement “trans women are women” go unchallenged (which we’ve seen from her response to Stephen King’s tweet she cannot), then she is by definition a TERF. It’s not a slur. It’s a descriptor indicating the movement she has chosen to associate herself with. Associating the descriptor of the position you so vehemently refuse to denounce in spite of all evidence and information offered to you with the concept of a “witch hunt” when trans women are ACTUALLY brutally murdered for an innate part of their identity is insulting, at the very least.

Let’s get this straight: despite transphobes trying to conflate sex with gender and arguing that sex is the only “real” identifier of the two, our existence on this planet and our perception of this world is a gendered experience. It is our brain, where the majority of researchers agree that gender lies, which decides and dictates not only who we are and how we feel but also how we interact with everyone around us. I don’t think it’s an outlandish statement to say that when it comes to who we are as people, that flesh machine protected by our skull is the key player.  PSA for transphobes everywhere: when people say penises have a mind of their own, they are NOT talking literally. The more you know. 

Gender is obviously a much newer concept than sex-it is both influenced by and interacts with every element of our lives. It’s also much more complex, in that there are still many gaps in our understanding. I assume these two factors combined with the familiarity of the (usually) binary model of biological sex are a part of why TERFS fundamentally reject the importance of gender in favour of the latter. Yes, most of the time, we feel our gender corresponds with our sex, but not always, and nor is there any concrete proof that this has to be the case. Most studies tend to agree that our brains start out as blank slates, that we grow into the gender we are assigned based on our bodies. In other words, our sex only defines our gender insofar as the historical assumption that they are the same thing, which in turn exposes us to certain cultural expectations. To any TERFs that have somehow ended up here-if you haven’t already, I suggest looking into the research of Gina Rippon, a neuroscientist whom has spent a large portion of her professional career analysing the data of sex differences in the brain. Whilst she originally set out to find some kind of consistent variance between the brains of the 2 prominent sexes to back up the idea that the brains of men and women are inherently different, she found nothing of significance-individual differences, yes, but no consistent similarities in the brains of one sex that were not present in the other. Once differences in brain size were accounted for, “well-known” sex differences in key structures disappeared-in terms of proportion, these structures take up the same amount of space in the brain regardless of sex. Her findings are best summed up by her response to the question: are there any significant differences in the brain based on sex alone? Her answer is no. To suggest otherwise is “neurofoolishness”. Not only does her research help put to bed the myth that our brains are sexed along with the rest of our bodies during development (this is now believed to happen separately, meaning the sex of our bodies and brains may not correspond), but also the idea propagated by the patriarchy for centuries that basically boils down to “boys will be boys”-a myth used to condone male sexual violence against women and even against each other on the basis that it is inherent and “can't be helped”. That they are just “built differently”. Maybe at one point in human evolution, men were conditioned to fight and women were conditioned to protect, but whilst the idea remains and continues to affect our societal structures (and thus said cultural expectations), we’ve moved on. I mean we evolved from fish for fuck’s sake but you don’t see us breathing underwater. 

Gender identity is based on many things and admittedly we don’t fully have the complete picture yet. The effects that socialisation and gender norms in particular, as much as we don’t want them to exist, have on our brain are huge; there’s evidence that they can leave epigenetic marks, or in other words cause structural changes in the brain which drive biological functions and features as diverse as memory, development and disease susceptibility. Socialisation alters the way our individual brains develop as we grow up, and as much as I’d love to see gender norms disappear, they’ll probably be around for a long time to come, as will their ramifications. The gap between explaining how socialisation affects the brain of cisgender individuals compared to the brains of transgender or non-binary individuals is not yet totally clear, but as with every supposed cause and effect psychology tries to uncover, there are outliers and individual differences. No, brains are not inherently male or female at birth but they are all different, and can be affected by socialisation differently. In one particularly groundbreaking study conducted by Dick Swaab of the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience, postmortems of the brains of transgender women revealed that the structure of one of the areas in the brain most important to sexual behaviour more closely resembled the postmortem brains of cisgender women than those of cisgender men-it’s also important that these differences did not appear to be attributable to the influence of endogenous sex hormone fluctuations or hormone treatment in adulthood.

Maybe dysphoria is something that evolves organically and environmental factors don’t even come into it. Like I said, we don’t have the whole picture. What we DO know is that for some people, as soon as they become self-aware, that dysphoria is there, and the evidence for THAT, for there being common variations between the brains of cisgender individuals and transgender individuals, is overwhelming. You can be trapped in a body that does not correspond with how your brain functions, or how you wish to see yourself. Do individuals like J.K Rowling really believe it is ethical to reinforce the idea that we are defined by our sex and that our sex should decide the course of our lives, should decide how we are treated? That we should reduce people to genitals and chromosomes when our gender, the lens through which we see and interact with the world, could be completely different? Do they not see anything wrong with perpetuating the feelings of “otherness” and dysphoria in trans individuals that results from society’s refusal to see them as anything more than what body parts they have? In a collaboration between UCLA MA neuroscience student Jonathan Vanhoecke and Ivanka Savic at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, the statistics collected pointed to what trans activists have always been trying to get at-the areas of the brain responsible for our sense of our identity showed far more neural activity in the brains of trans individuals when they were looking at depictions of their body that had been changed to match their gender identity than when this wasn’t the case; when they saw themselves with a body that corresponded with their gender identity, when they were “valid” by society’s definition, they felt more themselves. When J.K Rowling tells trans people that their “real identity” is the sex they were born with, she is denying them this right to be themselves and due to her large platform, encouraging others to do the same. YOU are doing that, J.K. And who knows why? Where does your transphobia come from? Peel back the bullshit layers of waffle about feeling silenced and threatened, which you know you are directing at the wrong group of people, and admit it’s for less noble reasons. Taking the time to unlearn the instinct embedded into your generation to see people according to the cultural status quo of biological determinism is effort, I know-but you wrote a 700+ page book. I’m sure you can manage it. Or is it an ego thing? You don’t want to admit that you may have been uneducated on gender and sex in the past, and now have to stick by your reductive position so your image as an “intellectual” isn’t compromised. I don’t know. Only you do. But your position is irresponsible and dangerous either way. You can make up bullshit reasons as to why the link between trans individuals and the incidence of suicide attempts and completions isn’t relevant or representative of the struggle that trans people face due to the hatred that people like you propagate but it is there, and you J.K Rowling, someone who has spoken in the past about the horror of depression, should know better. You should know better than to CLAIM you know better than the experienced researchers who have found the same pattern time and time again-that the likelihood of trans individuals committing suicide is significantly higher than that of cis people. 

No, Rowling’s transphobia has never been as upfront as saying “I don’t believe transgender people exist” but she continues to imply that when she makes claims such as womanhood being defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation, and the completely subjective concept of whether an individual has faced sex-based violence from cisgender men. I’m sure she’d be out here taking chromosome proof cards like Oysters if it wasn’t for intersex individuals throwing her whole binary jam into a tailspin. Yep, there’s even suggestions that the binary biological model might not be so binary these days-just because two people have, say, XY chromosomes, does not mean that these chromosomes are genetically identical between individuals-the genes they carry can, and do, vary and so their actions and expressions of sex vary. 

Ideally, what TERFs want to do with their language of “real womanhood” is create an exclusive club that trans women are left out of when they too suffer under the same patriarchal society that those who are born female do. Yes, they might not experience ALL the issues a person born with female genitalia do, but no two women’s life experiences are the same anyway. Trans women also have their own horrible experiences with the patriarchy, and are often victims of a specific kind of gendered violence that is purported by the idea of “real womanhood”. Don’t throw trans sisters under the bus because you’re angry about your experience as a woman on this planet-direct your anger at the fucking bus. Don’t claim that “many trans people regret their decision to transition” when the statistics overwhelmingly show that this is the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE of the truth (according to British charity organisation Mermaids, surgical regret is proportionately very low amongst gender affirmation outpatients and research suggesting otherwise has been broadly disproven) because you’ve spoken to a selective group of trans individuals probably handpicked by the TERFS you associate with to confirm their biases, and then have the nerve to claim that trans-activists live in echo chambers on top of that. Don’t use anecdotes and one-off incidences where “trans women” (I say trans women in quotation marks because we’re pretty much talking about a completely statistically insignificant group of perverted cis men who have, according to TERFs, somehow come to the conclusion that going through transition will make their already easy-to-get-away-with hobby of assaulting women even...easier to get away with?) have committed sexual crimes to demonise and paint as predatory group who are largely at risk and in 99.9% of situations, the ones being preyed on. It’s a point so disgusting that trans activists shouldn’t even have to respond to it, but the idea that an individual would go to the pains of legally changing their gender and potentially the hell of the harassment that trans people face, the multiple year long NHS waiting lists to see specialist doctors,  just so that they can gain access to women only spaces is ridiculous. It’s worth noting here just how sinister you repeatedly bringing up this phantom threat of cis men becoming trans women in order to assault women in “women only” spaces is. The implication here is that they should use the toilet corresponding to the sex they were born as, right? Because it’s all about safety? Well, statistically speaking, far more trans women are abused whilst having to use men’s toilets than when they use women’s ones and the same goes for trans men, and yet you don’t mention it once. Your suggestion also puts people born female who identify as women but maybe do not dress or present in a typically feminine way at risk of being ostracised when THEY need to use the women’s bathroom. The idea that by ceasing to uphold values like yours we are putting women at risk is quite simply, unsubstantiated; the legislation to allow individuals to use the bathroom corresponding to whichever gender they legally identify as has been around since 2010 in the UK and yet we’ve yet to see the sudden spike in the number of women being assaulted in bathrooms you imply will exist if we create looser rules around gender identity and let people use whichever toilet they feel the need to. Similarly, in a study of US school districts, Media Matters found that 17 around the country with protections for trans people, which collectively cover more than 600,000 students, had no problems with harassment in bathrooms or locker rooms after implementing their policies. If cis men want to assault women, they will. They don’t need to pretend to be trans to do so. Don’t pretend to be speaking as a concerned ally of LGBTQ+ individuals when you’re ignoring the thoughts of the majority of individuals who come under that category.

(Just Some of the Trans Women Murdered for Being Trans Over the Last Couple of Years, L-R: Serena Valzquez, Riah Milton, Bee Love Slater, Naomi Hersi, Layla Pelaez, and Dominique Fells)

Trans women are not the threat here. Bigots like you are the threat. HOW DARE you use your platform to reinforce this rhetoric that gets trans people killed when there are so many much MUCH more important things going on right now. Two black trans women had been murdered just for being black trans women in the week you wrote your essay defending those initial tweets. This is an ongoing issue. As a cis woman, my opinion should read as sacred texts to you right, Joanne? Because I’ll say with my whole chest that I feel far more threatened by bigots like you who do not care for the harmful impact of their words than I do by trans women. I do not feel threatened by trans women AT ALL. And yeah, to me, unless they tell me otherwise that they like to go out their way to affirm their trans-ness (which I completely respect-it takes a lot of courage to be proud about your past in a world that condemns you for it), they’re just WOMEN like any other. Yes their experience of “womanhood” may be different to mine but no two individuals experiences are the same anyway and our gender related suffering has the same cause. As a rich, white, cis woman, it’s wild that you are painting yourself as the victim in this debate when trans people can face life in prison and in some places a death sentence for openly identifying with a gender different to their sex in a lot of countries. Nobody is saying that you can’t talk about cis women. Nobody is saying you can’t talk about lesbian issues either, though it’s a bit of a piss-take that you like to throw that whole trans women erase lesbian existence argument out there as a kind of trump card to say “look, I can’t be a transphobe, I’m an LGBTQ+ ally!”, an argument akin to the racist’s age old “I can’t be racist, I have black friends!”. You know from the responses you get to your transphobia that majority of the LGBTQ+ community are very much adamant that trans women are “real women” and that the same goes for trans men being “real men”, so don’t claim to speak for them. You cannot simultaneously care about LGBTQ+ rights and deny trans people their right to live as who they are, however veiled your sentiments around that may be. The whole gay rights movement of the 60s and 70s exist partially BECAUSE of black trans women such as Martha P Johnson if you didn’t know, and though it’s kinda common knowledge I’m doubting that you do because very little of what you tout is backed up by any kind of research. The articles you retweet, echoing the views of lesbians who also happen to be TERFs do not count-the idea that trans people existing simultaneously erases the existence of lesbians only applies to individuals such as yourself who don’t see trans women as women in the first place. That is the problem! Most people don’t have an issue with the fact that you may have a preference for certain genitalia, but I would argue that ignoring exceptional circumstances related to trauma or some other complex issue, relationships are supposed to be with the person as a whole, not their “organic” penis or vagina and it’s kind of insulting to anyone in a same sex relationship to reduce their bond to that.

Back to my point though, of course there are issues that cis women and lesbians face that need talking about, but trans people are affected by the same patriarchal system. You don’t need to go out of your way to mention that they’re not included in whichever given specific issue when there are also cis women who may not have experienced some of the things TERFs reference. You especially don’t need to act as if trans women are the reason we need to have these discussions in the first place. As I’ve said, as MANY women have said, repeatedly-they are NOT the threat here. It is disgusting to see someone I once had so much admiration for constantly punch down at a group that is already marginalised.  It’s 2020, J.K, there’s so much info out there. YOU’RE A FULLY GROWN WOMAN. There’s no justification. We get it, you had a tomboy phase. You weren’t like “other girls”. You didn’t like living under a patriarchal system. So you think you understand the mindset of people who want to transition. You think you’re not doing anything wrong by helping to slow the advancement of trans rights because well, you turned out fine? But you clearly fundamentally misunderstand what being trans is. It’s not about your likes and dislikes and having issues with the experience of being a woman (god knows we all do but I doubt anyone truly thinks for one moment that being trans would be any easier), it’s about how you think and feel at your core. It’s such a complex issue, and all the majority of trans people are asking you to do is LISTEN to them. You may be determined to live in binaries, yet the bigger picture is always more complex and fluid and it’s ever-changing, so all we can do is keep an open mind and keep wanting to know more and gather more evidence. If you’re capable of the mental gymnastics required to retcon the piece of work you wrote in the 90s to make it seem as if you were “ahead of the diversity game”, to the extent that you are now claiming Voldermort’s snake has always actually been a Korean woman and see nothing wrong with that when paired with the fact that the only Asian character you originally included was called Cho Chang, then well…I’m sure you can put your ego aside and do the groundwork to understand what trans people are trying to tell you too. You inspired a lot of children and teenagers and even adults, and got them through some very difficult times, taught that the strength of one’s character matters far more than what anyone thinks of you. You claimed you wanted to stand up for the outcasts.

Well, stand up for the outcasts. Now’s a better time than any. And once again: TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND TRANS MEN ARE MEN. They shouldn’t have to hear anything else.

Lauren x

[DISCLAIMER: shitty collages are mine but the background is not, let me know if you are aware of the artist so I can credit!]

i dont mean as “the lgbta community”. i mean like “lgbta club”. thats when it means allies. obviously real allies arent lgbt but if you call it “gay club” or “queer club” or “lgbt club” then straight people are gonna go “oh its ONLY for lgbt people” and people that are closeted and go as allies are gonna get outed because allies or straight or cis isnt in the name. its why i still call gsa gay-straight alliance rather than gender-sexuality alliance, because trans ppl know theyre included already

youre just not understanding that by having allies or something indicating cishet people being allowed IN THE NAME of a SCHOOL CLUB makes cishet people realize that not everyone that goes there is lgbt, and will make them lay off of lgbt kids that go there as allies. im not saying to use lgbta for every circumstance, but in the instance of school clubs, the a means ally and it should stay that way

I’m understanding you perfectly, I just disagree. 

You bring up “gay-straight alliance” which is actually an example of why this isn’t necessary. That’s literally already an option to demonstrate an alliance between LGBTQ people and non-queer people. 

But the important part of that is ALLIANCE. As in the allies are not included in LGBTQ, they’re being ALLIES who are ALLIED with LGBTQ. 

It would be more accurately called an LGBTQ-cisallohet alliance or something to include all identities, but I get that’s not as catchy. 

Whereas adding the A for Ally to the community acronym doesn’t imply an alliance, it implies they’re part of the community. 

Which as I have literally already told you does the opposite of what you want it to do - if you want to tell homophobic straight people that “don’t worry I’m not actually gay I’m just an ally” then adding ‘ally’ to the community undoes all of that. Because then they see it and go “AHA!! so that means you’re still part of the alphabet soup!” or “AHA! So it’s just code and you’re really part of the community anyway!”

I don’t know what’s tripping you up here? If I tell people “I’m not part of the community, I’m just an ally!” in order to keep myself safe and then you turn around and spread the idea that “Allies are part of the community, usually just closeted” that would put me in danger. 

How are you hearing people use “I’m NOT part of the community” to keep themselves safe and then thinking “AHA, the best solution is to spread the idea that they actually ARE part of the community but just pretending not to be.” 

Not to mention that all of this whether it’s “just in schools” or not spreads misinformation. Most people don’t know all the tiny ins and outs and nuances of discourse. They’re just going to see “The A is for Ally” think that’s always, parrot that back and spread it. Which then contributes to widespread erasure of asexual and aromantic people who ACTUALLY need the A (unlike “allies” for all of the reasons I’ve already discussed).

You’re not listening and if you send me more asks they will be deleted. I have been clear with you. 

I remember seeing this essay floating around in my fandom several years ago . Damn I feel old.

What’s even weirder is that the author is a self proclaimed ‘ally’(they support gay rights and gay marriage and they have gay friends) despite being disgusted at the very thought of two men being in a relationship. ---- This thing is literally nothing more than a cis straight women whinning she doesn’t want to be considered homophobic because gay men disgust her lol. It’s kinda funny actually. Also, I don’t know why she keeps bringing out the fact that she is atheist and her homophobia is not religion-based? Like duh? Not all homophobia is. I have seen enough atheist expressing similar sentiments to know that. Some atheist believe that their bigotry is entirely “science based” and so totally justified into having it. Plus, some are just assholes like that. Or do I deserve tolerance of my sexual tastes, just as I try my hardest to be tolerant of the tastes of others, even when they directly contradict mine? This phrase coming from an essay published on a anti-yaoi group, calling themselves a “yaoi hater”, on something she decided to publish on so obviously other people can talk and discuss about it, it’s pretty fucking hilarious. She respect the tastes of others so much, folks, but you gotta understand that she still feels the need to clarify how much gay men make her sick to her stomach, like mushrooms! It’s because she respect gay people so much that she must openly talk all about how she personally doesn’t like them not even sharing a kiss! It’s not her fault she hates gay people being gay, the poor thing!  *cue to the saddest smallest violin on the world* Oh, but the comments are gold too. I no longer support the gay/lesbian community since they seem to have become corrupted themselves. Like you, the poster, said, some of them will accuse straight people for being homophobic. “I will be openly homophobic now! That will teach those mean queer for calling me homophobic!” For one thing, when I picture a straight guy being uncomfortable around gay men, I wouldn't think he was homophobic. I would think he was a guy. Most striaght men don't like the idea of being gay, or have others thinking that they're gay. It's normal to feel that way, and there's nothing wrong with it. Being uncomfortable does not equal homophobic. These are the hot take we have been missing out here on tumblr, folks.  When you said that it made you stomach turn, that doesn't mean you're homophobic. It just means you're straight. I don't think you should be ashamed for feeling that way. If you got turned on when thinking about to people of the same sex together; it may mean you might have gay tendecies, especially if you got all hot and bothered thinking about yuri, but you don't. It's your biology talking, and just because your biology isn't the same as some one who is gay doesn't make you a bad person. Okay, this right here? This is an excelent example of homophobia that is not religion based. Here the homoantagonism is supported by a completely wrong and overly simplistic idea of what biology is, a science that oughta be objective and true, no feelings involved, right? If an atheist manage to convince themselves that their biases are scientific facts, then yeah, they can be a bigot too! The rest of the comment is just assuring this poor conflicted woman that it’s okay, she is allowed to feel disguted at gay men all she wants, that totally doesn’t make her bad on any kind way, because, after all, she has gay friends and all. It would be so unfair of anyone to try to call her anything but the best ally ever!/s Again, cue to the violin.

don't come at me with "aces aren't a part of the lgbtq+ community"

i cannot believe we're having this stupid fucking bullshit.

again.

pride month just passed us by, so why is it that the lgbtq+ community is so hostile? perhaps it has something to do with the feeling of certain groups within the community not having "suffered the same obstacles" that, say, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc. people have.

which is, to say the least, bull.

it's time for a quick lesson in identity politics—or, some really confusing stuff that this post will hopefully help clarify. first, let's define "identity".

identity, as defined by the dictionary, is either two definitions: 1, the fact of being who or what a person or thing is, and/or 2. a close similarity or affinity. for our purposes, identity will be defined as "how a person defines themselves".

we'll also be using the term "intersectionality", or the idea that you can define your identity as more than one area of identity (i.e., identifying as both asian and as a woman).

with clarifications done, let's explain why exactly excluding aces, or even groups like people who identify as asexual in general, is something that's frankly idiotic. obviously, there been many movements in regards to identity—i.e., movements advocating for rights, etc., so the Civil Rights Movement or the Sexual Liberation Movement might be an example. either way, movements are typically done in opposition of something.

case in point, the stonewall riots of 1969.

as a quick recap of what exactly the stonewall riots were, it was when in response to police brutality, the lgbtq+ community rose up in response and rioted against the police (hence, the name "stonewall riots"). however, this, along with many other reasons based off of a history of oppression, discrimination, and heterosexism, is what defines the queer community and is why many are proud of their identity (in the sense that they pervaded through hardship and came out stronger).

so why ace discourse?

those same reasons as to why the lgbtq+ community is so proud of their identity is also why the community has become so exclusive. debates and arguments over even which groups fall under the category have grown violent—even arguments over what should be simple, calm discussion about the goddamn acronym of the community have turned harsh. it's the idea that these people who want to come into our community, one that we created through suffering and hardship that they haven't experienced themselves shouldn't be allowed.

except the ironic thing is that we, as a community, are repeating our mistakes.

due to the concept of intersectionality and identity politics in general, we have to understand one thing: all of us have experienced both privilege and marginalization. whether it's because of our race, gender, sexuality, abilty, age, etc.—we have all experienced it.

let me explain: if you identify as a white lesbian woman, you would obviously experience marginalization—perhaps because of your gender or sexuality. but you reap the benefits of privilege as a white person.

but the point here being? you, me, our community—yes, the lgbtq+ one—is privileged.

ok, hold your horses. before you come at me with your arguments about how you've been discriminated against because of your lgbtq+ identity, that's not exactly what i meant. a privileged group is essentially the "majority", the dominating identity group within that area of identity. so, for example, cis people are the privileged group because they quite simply just dominate the gender identity area.

i should clarify that privilege isn't necessarily bad. it's dependent on how it's utilized, but the point is that in the lgbtq+ community, the people that make up the group of so-called "ace exclusionists"? are privileged. you're "reaping the benefits" of, essentially, not including aces in the community.

you're discriminating against asexuals because... of what again? asexuals, you argue, haven't faced the same hardships. except, they have—you don't know the hardships asexuals have faced, and to make broad, sweeping generalizations is what landed us in this mess in the first place. it's also a one way ticket into seriously screwing up.

broad, sweeping generalizations hurt us all—it's causing us to lash out and invalidate someone's identity because they supposedly haven't faced the same level of hardship. but your experiences of hardships are all valid—none is more valid than the other, because all are equally important. i can also name literally 5 ways aces are discriminated against, both by the community they identify with and by the community that surrounds and raised them.

1. "You're asexual? That's not a real thing."

2. Asexual people in the #MeToo movement literally do not have a voice whatsoever.

3. "Oh honey, it's just a phase."

4. "Dude, like, you haven't been through the same things I have, so like... that's not really what being LGBT is about."

5. "The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for allies, duh."

5 examples of discrimination. 5 examples of erasure. 5 examples of prejudice. aces are marginalized—in our community, hell, in the "straight/cishet" community, we refuse to recognize them.

the original intent of the lgbtq+ community was to be a safe space. it was for people to find their place, their identity in the world. it was for them to find out what fit best and what made them feel right. so why are we denying asexuals, and even pansexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, and non-binary identities a place to find themselves? all too often now in our community does it seem like the only color we'll see is the rainbow, and nothing else.

under the reason as to why exactly aces shouldn't be part of the lgbtq+ community—again, you can't make claims for an identity that you personally can't identify as. i can't ever make a claim as to what it's like to be black because i am not black. the same thing extends to all other areas of identity.

in conclusion: don't come at me with "but asexuals...!" because it's not only disrespectful to their identity, but also because shouldn't our community know the most what it's like to feel like this?

tl;dr: ace discourse is dumb and especially our community (the LGBTQ+ one) should know what it's like to feel the same sort of prejudice/discrimination because of our identity.

When women aren’t attractive to men, we call them disgusting: a primer on fujoshi discourse.

This is a very long post. Can I get a summary?

🏳️‍🌈 "Fujoshi" means "a woman that straight men don't find appealing because she is involved in fandom in a way straight men can’t exploit." That is all it means.

🏳️‍🌈 The use of fujoshi as a synonym for homophobe is a result of misogyny.

🏳️‍🌈 Fujoshi are actually less likely to be homophobic than their non-fandom peers.

🏳️‍🌈 Fujoshi are mostly (70% or more) queer women, not straight women.

🏳️‍🌈 While attacking your oppressors can be cathartic or empowering, queer women are generally not the oppressors you intend to attack when you say "fujoshi are all evil." Nonetheless, queer women are the people you are attacking.

🏳️‍🌈 If M/M content made by women is uncomfortable for you to see, for any reason, then you don't have to see it. Many tools for blacklisting content exist specifically to ensure your comfort and safety.

🏳️‍🌈 Using those tools is more effective than trying to silence women in fandom because those tools are more customizable, and because queer media can and should be available to all people who want it.

🏳️‍🌈 Criticism and hatred are not synonymous.

🏳️‍🌈 Women are capable of creating and consuming art just as well as their male peers.

🏳️‍🌈 Queer men are not a unanimous front, and do not universally feel that M/M content written by women should be banned.

🏳️‍🌈 Women's sexuality is reviled throughout western society. Some women choose to reclaim the vocabulary used to harm them.

🏳️‍🌈 Women make plenty of non-M/M fan content, which should not and cannot be ignored when discussing women's contributions to fandom and art.

🏳️‍🌈 You're not obligated to like these things, but you shouldn't use your dislike as an excuse to be hateful.

🏳️‍🌈 If you have more questions, you can ask me them, but I will not be kind to people who do not respect me when asking me things.

What is a fujoshi?

A woman whose engagement with fandom makes her unattractive to straight men. Nothing more, and nothing less. 

Just a woman whose enjoyment of media makes straight men react negatively to her. 

A “fake gamer girl,” of sorts, though the "fujoshi” applies primarily to animation fandoms.

Many women self-describe as fujoshi as a point of pride, because women don’t exist for male consumption anyway.

Why do people keep saying fujoshi are bad/evil/homophobic/etc?

Because hating women is a fundamental tenet of many modern societies, and the use of a non-English term allows misogynists to obfuscate their hatred of women, so that they can engage in misogyny while still looking openly progressive.

In particular, queer people who have been harmed by cisheteronormative society see women in fandom as an ideal target for harassment, because they have relatively little social power to fight back, but can be easily painted as violent and oppressive.

But I heard fujoshi exploit and sexually abuse real life gay men?

Those people are called “sexual harassers” and “homophobes,” and while they exist within fujoshi groups, they also exist everywhere else, and usually at a higher rate.

However, “fujoshi” doesn’t mean “sexual harasser.” It means “woman who is unappealing to straight men because of her fandom.”

Well, aren’t fujoshi all cis and straight? So, looking at queer stuff is inherently exploitative.

There’s two issues with that belief. First, queer media is not media that should be restricted. 

By saying queer media should only be engaged with by people who are queer in the exact same was as depicted, you deny questioning people access to information, and deny actual cis/straight people important empathy building opportunities. 

Because fictional characters aren’t real, and thus cannot be hurt by straight people, they make especially helpful teaching tools. If a straight person gets confused or upset and says something harmful about a fictional character, there is no direct, real world victim. This gives straight people to opportunity to learn and better themselves before interacting with real queer people. 

Queer fiction keeps queer people safer by offering an introductory course in “how to not be a bigot” to straight people. And, as much as we might prefer that straight people just stop being bigots, that’s not going to happen without information, experience, and exposure. 

Making queer media inaccessibly has always been a primary tool of open queerphobes, because it makes queer people feel inhuman to ourselves and others. Making queer media inaccessible means making sure that even cis/straight people who would otherwise ally with queer people don’t understand our needs, or even our existence at all, and those inadvertently support our oppression.

Second, most fujoshi are queer, whether by orientation or by gender. And by most, I mean roughly 3/4 fujoshi are queer in some way.

But I enjoy making fun of fujoshi! It makes me feel better about myself as a queer person who has been persecuted before!

You can simply replace “fujoshi” with “homophobes” in your posts and discussions, and it will be more accurate while still giving you the power trip of lashing out against an abusive system.

When you say fujoshi are responsible for hurting you, you’re actually saying “queer female artists are the reason I am oppressed.” It’s simply untrue, and it also discourages coalition building, which prevents queer people from building truly safe spaces and fighting effectively against cisheteronormativity. It is, in effect, the “divide” part of “divide and conquer.”

Also, you should also consider, where possible, seeking professional help in processing your feelings of powerlessness, as lashing out in this way is often a sign of trauma, and you deserve to be mentally healthy. 

Obviously this isn’t possible for everyone, and as queer people, we are especially unlikely to have access to mental health resources. But, attacking other queer people is not an especially great way to assert our power over the social systems that have abused us.

But the stories and art that fujoshi make are uncomfortable for me to read! I don’t like seeing them!

I have an exercise for you. It will help you to exert power over your surroundings, reduce your stress levels, and ultimately allow you to lead a healthier and happier life.

Ignoring things you find uncomfortable is hard. It is often impossible, particularly if you are, as so many queer people are, dealing with trauma.

But avoiding them is very simple in most cases. Utilize blacklist functions on sites such as tumblr, and search removal functions on sites such as AO3.

For information on how to blacklist, go here.

For information on search result removal, go here.

Why should I have to do that? Shouldn’t fujoshi stop doing things that make me uncomfortable, instead?

If we buy into the idea that everyone should stop making any content that makes another person uncomfortable, there would be literally nothing made, ever again. Someone is always uncomfortable. I, personally, have a PTSD trigger related to a common household appliance that was used to physically abuse me: the oven.

If we banned all use of ovens in all media, almost nothing other than a small amount of news shows would exist, and only until there’s an oven manufacturing recall. 

More importantly, racists, homophobes, transphobes, etc are made uncomfortable by the simple existence of queer people and people of color and other marginalized groups. The argument that all art and all content should be comfortable for all people means that anything which shows the existence of, say, a brown trans person such as myself cannot exist.

In contrast, if we make the individual responsible for their own comfort, that means the proliferation of tools such as blacklists that are infinitely customizable, leaving people such as myself able to block out all mention of ovens without needing to worry about disabled people who rely on baking their meals because they lack the muscle control to fry things on a stovetop being denied access to important information.

Isn’t being critical of media you engage with important though? For progessivism and leftism and stuff?

Being critical is important. Be aware of the flaws in media, understand its implications.

But being outright censorious is counterproductive. 

Being “critical” should not mean “being hateful towards.” That is a misuse of criticism that is propagated by abusers to make their abuse of others seem acceptable. 

In the same way that “gender critical” tends to mean “hateful of trans people” rather than “rightfully suspicious of the white, western gender binary and the ways it oppresses people,” “media critical” is often used as an excuse to engage in blatant hatred while pretending to be thoughtful.

Even if you personally don’t mean “critical” as a disguise for abuse, the vast majority of the media-critical people who pass on this hatred of women in fandom do mean it as a disguise for abuse.

Being critical is important, but being critical and being hateful are not the same.

But since fujoshi are women, they can never understand what it’s like to be MLM ,and I don’t want them to ruin the concept!

This assumes that women are incapable of understanding the experiences of men. Remember, most fujoshi are queer, so “queerness” and even “same gender attraction” are already things they experience personally. 

The only salient difference between a bi woman who writes about the main couple in Yuuri on Ice and a bi man who writes about the main couple in Yuuri on Ice is that the woman is a woman.

It also assumes that all genderqueer people have completely static genders, and no experiences that they could ever consider belonging to another gender.

As many trans people who realized they were trans later in life will tell you, this is fundamentally untrue. Some trans women are drawn to M/M content because they once considered themselves men, even after they recognize their womanhood. Some trans men are drawn to M/M content even before they realize they are men, because there is an appeal to relationships that don’t involve women, as they are not women. Some genderqueer people enjoy M/M content because they have dysphoria relating to female sexuality. Some nonbinary people enjoy MLM content because they prefer to see bodies like their own represented in erotic fiction. 

To assume that fujoshi are incapable of understanding or engaging with M/M fiction is to assume that women are incapable of the emotional and intellectual abilities of men, and that trans people simply don’t exist.

Well, okay, but what about all the MLM who say fujoshi are bad?

What about all the MLM who say fujoshi are good? 

The fact that there are queer men on both sides of this discussion suggests that other things need to be taken into consideration when making your decision on women in fandom.

But, sometimes fujoshi say things like, “being gay is a sin,” and that’s really horrible!

Actually, these women are saying that their own sexuality is considered a sin, which is an accurate statement. The prevailing powers in our societies hate female sexual expression with an immense passion. Female sexuality is opposed by many major religious groups, functionally all conservative governments, and anyone who has ever called a woman a slut/whore/prude/frigid bitch/etc because of the way she engages with her sexuality.

In playfully describing themselves as being sinful, these women are robbing bigots of the ability to hurt them by making the same claim genuinely.

Even if it were the case that these women are claiming being queer is a sin, as most of them are queer anyway, it would still be a reference to themselves, and thus an act of reclamation.

You may have heard people respond to being told to “go to hell” that if hell exists, it’ll be better than a heaven full of homophobic douchebags, or with phrases like “there’s a throne waiting for me,” or even simply saying “thank you.”

An extremely similar rhetorical mechanism is at play, where people reclaim the words that are being used to oppress them, and turn them into self empowerment. 

In the comparatively rare cases when women in fandom are genuinely homophobic towards real men, other women in fandom tend to react negatively to that and re-educate those homophobes. This is because, again, fujoshi are primarily queer. 

If fujoshi are all queer women or whatever, why don’t they make F/F content instead?

There’s a few answers to that.

The first is that they do actually make F/F content. Quite a lot of it. The majority of fic writers and fanartists in all major fandoms are (queer) women. This includes fandoms where the bulk of content is not M/M like My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, Madoka Magica, Steven Universe, and so on.

(Edit note: as absurd as this is about to sound, I forgot fimfiction exists. When factoring for specialized archives like it and eqd, the majority of mlp creators are indeed men)

The second is that, mathematically, there are simply more male characters with more canon content to draw off of as a basis for fan exploration than there are women. More characters and more screentime means more detailed characterization, and thus, more fan content.

The third is that many women, particularly those with dysphoria and those with sexual trauma, have difficulty engaging with female characters as sexual and romantic objects. While it can be beneficial to re-integrate one’s sexuality with one’s own body, everyone who would benefit from that kind of thing needs to approach it on their own time in on their own terms: being able to control the situation is what prevents self-harm. Trying to force these women to explore female sexuality can be anywhere from uncomfortable to lethal, depending on the severity of the trauma.

Well I don’t like it!

That’s alright. You don’t have to like it. You simply have to respect that women exist, and are allowed to enjoy fiction the same way men are allowed to do so.

If you don’t want to see it, then there are tools that will enable you to avoid it. Everyone has their likes, dislikes, and hardline rejections. 

I have other questions you didn’t even start to address here!!!!!!!!

Well, alright, I’m willing to talk about this subject in more detail, as long as you’re willing to be polite about it.

My ask box is open to you.

However, if you are simply going to come and claim yell that I’m a homophobe who hates gay men and/or myself, then I’m just going to make fun of you, so please try to be nice.

The Life of a Gay Man and His Need To Prove It

#1 The “Gay Gene”

               Although it has only been found in males, a linkage to males and homosexuality has been discovered by Dean Hamer and colleagues. On X chromosomes there is an unidentified gene that these scientists have named Xq28, which they relate directly to homosexuality. It’s a very controversial theory but ultimately purposes so many answers.            

#2 Evidence is Mounting for Homosexual Men

               “In 1993, genetic variations in a region on the X chromosome in men were linked to whether they were heterosexual or homosexual, and in 1995, a region on chromosome 8 was identified.” says Andy Coghlan from thenewscientist.com. This just proves that no, gay men don’t just wake up one morning and say “Hey, I wanna try dick today.”

#3 The Third Gender: Muxes

              In southern Mexico, the Zapotec people recognize a third gender called Muxes. In our culture, they would be known as homosexual people and transgendered people. This just makes me realize that some cultures, although so old, are so ahead of their time, open-minded, and progressive. Another reason to yell @ Donald Trump, don’t build the damn wall.  

  #4 We Are Not Alone

              Listen, science isn’t the only thing that proves this theory. Look at our environment and what isn’t directly affected by or altered by humans. “Homosexual behaviour is a natural biological feature and is common among non-human animals. In at least one species – sheep – individual animals have been known to form lasting preferences for same-sex partners.” says Australias Science Channel. Fun Fact: the oldest living tortoise who was thought to be female but was actually male only mated with males. Thus showing why no babies were being born.

#5 Should We Care About Giving Reason To Being Gay?

                Of course, being gay myself, you’re faced with a lot of harassment, questioning, judgment, and bigotry. Religion really attacks you, and you’re forced to feel like an outcast and forced into a stereotype. So, given the chance and these scientific findings, it can help explain to people who don’t believe/understand. It normalizes sexuality, it lowers being/feeling like a minority. “It adds yet more evidence that sexual orientation is not a ‘lifestyle choice’. But the real significance is that it takes us one step closer to understanding the origins of one of the most fascinating and important features of human beings.” says Dean Hammer from newscientist.com.

#6 Being A Watermelon in A Sea Full of Cacti

                      One word: Grindr. If you’re a gay male, you either gagged or hid your face in shamefulness for using the app. My need to prove myself starts here, it completely drains lives of romance and relationship oriented people. It sends a message that all gay men are they same, they’re horny and only want to bone. “The mental health professionals I spoke to are seeing problematic Grindr use in their clinics. And there is little published guidance on how to help those who are struggling.” says Jack Turban with Vox.com. This app is notorious for only being used to have sex, and it’s showing and obviously causing detrimental effects on gay men.

#7 Breaking Stereotypes One Straight @ A Time

                    Growing up, I only had girlfriends. Instead of playing basketball or throwing a football at recess, after school, in college, etc... I jumped rope. I learned how to french braid, I sang and danced. I yearned for the male on male friendship, or bromance you may say. I never got it because theres a stereotype, “I don’t have a problem with gay guys, but if he hits on me its game over.” Now, I can say once straight cis men give me a shot, they realize the stupidity behind it. I always here, “I’m not gay, but you’re one of the coolest dudes.” which isn’t ideal, but it’s progress.                    

#8 Trouble in the Workplace

                     When I bring up LGBTQ issues to acquaintances, a lot of the times i’m faced with “I don’t think gay people have a lot of issues nowadays”. But we dont, thats why I feel its so important for me to prove myself, my life, and what comes along with it. The facts, the struggles, the ugly truth. “59% said that where they live, they are less likely to be afforded employment opportunities because they are part of the LGBTQ community. One in five stated that they have had difficulty when applying for positions.” says victoryinstitute.net

#9 Let’s Prove Stats Wrong!

               Statistics can be demeaning, not all the time are they helpful or good. Sadly, for the LGBTQ+ community, the stats are disheartening. For example, LGBTQ people are 5X as likely to commit suicide than heterosexual people says thetrevorproject.org. 77% of LGBTQ youth reported are depressed, have anxiety, and/or have feelings of worthlessness says hrc.org. So, to all the heterosexual people out there wondering where their “Straight month” or “Straight parade is”, you have it, 11 months out of the year because you dont have struggles like that.

#10 Trans People are Simply, People.

                  Working with white, privileged, conservative, middle-to-upper class women, i’m forced to hear a lot of what they believe and how they think and what political decision they have recently made. Now and then, obvious and not so obvious transgendered women come into the store to shop and they outwardly treat them different or question the “real gender” of the person. I ask myself why whatever is under their clothes matter so much to them. When I tell them they are a woman, and that’s all they are, they are confused and partly agitated because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted to hear. Saddening fact? In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25 says thetrevorproject.org. Maybe if we stop making people feel so different, and start working toward progression instead of sticking our nose where it doesnt belong, we could actually get somewhere. Proving myself, to help the Trans community.

#11 “Gay People Can’t Naturally Reproduce”

                          I want a family, I want someone to call my husband. My son or daughter, my family. I need that in my life weather it is “natural” or not. People are so pressed about the natural way of things, but they can’t see that a majority of LGBTQ people who don’t reproduce via a man and a woman, help reduce the amount of foster children.14,000 foster children are being raised by Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual foster parents says Movement Advanced Project. Just because I am a man, married to a man, with our own children doesn’t make us any less capable for raising a family. 

#12 LG(B)TQ+

                Another group of people that are drastically hated on for being themselves. Human beings can’t grasp that someone may actually be more concerned about someones personality rather than their sexual organs. According to 2013 research by the University of Pittsburgh, 15% of people did not categorize bisexuality as a legitimate sexuality, with straight men being three times as likely to think it's "not a thing." People looking at you and just thinking you’re fake or just too horny. It’s pathetic, hence another reason to prove myself, my sexuality, for the other groups in my community.

#13 You Can Be Cured With Some Treatment & Religion - Mackelmore

                     Ever since before me, for a very long time, we were taught that there are conversion treatments, that being gay was a mental disability, a deformity. There were actually shock therapy treatments and conversion camps for LGBTQ+ people, people were killed in the midst of these treatments. But heres, *tap tap* the mutha f*ucking, *tap tap* TEA! American Psychological Association undertook a thorough review of the existing research on the efficacy of conversion therapy and their report noted that there was very little  research on sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) and that the "results of scientifically valid research indicate that it is unlikely that individuals will be able to reduce same-sex attractions or increase other-sex sexual attractions through SOCE." says hrc.com. Today there are still states that legalize this method!! Stop this!!

#14 The Importance of PRIDE

                   This isn’t just a time for LGBTQ+ people and allies to strut down the street in cute colorful clothing. This parade we participate in is a lesson, its teaching others about what we’re trying to do. Policies, laws, and other arguments we want and need heard. During the 2000s, battles at local, state, and national levels were being fought for marriage equality. Pride parades were utilized to educate the public, generate support, and encourage lawmakers to vote in favor of LGBT rights says thegayfamilylawmaker.com. We need to educate people on the education pride parades actually do. If it wasn’t for these parades, we wouldn’t have made the progress we have today. 

#15 The Audacity!?

                 My need to prove myself may be... borderline pathetic. HOWEVER, it’s so important and necessary in today’s society. The fact that just in 1982, it was okay to openly discriminate against LGBTQ people. IN 1996, it was BANNED to marry unless it was between a man and a women. Only in 2011 was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” finally repealed. This may sound like good news... but then BAM! THIS YEAR, President Trump banned Transgender people from being in the military.(CNN.com) Every time we feel like we’re ahead, we get knocked back down a few steps. This is why it is important, this is why it is necessary, this is why i’m doing it. 

REFERENCES

https://australiascience.tv/science-of-sexuality/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/cross-cultural-evidence-for-the-genetics-of-homosexuality/

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2155810-what-do-the-new-gay-genes-tell-us-about-sexual-orientation/

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/genetics-dna-homosexuality-gay-orientation-attractiveness-straight

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/10/giant-study-links-dna-variants-same-sex-behavior

https://www.cnn.com/2015/06/19/us/lgbt-rights-milestones-fast-facts/index.html

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

https://victoryinstitute.org/issue-at-a-glance-lgbtq-employment-discrimination/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.00001tfv8n5yekdvsq5f6al6h6i7u

https://www.hrc.org/resources/2018-lgbtq-youth-report

https://justlists.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/familyequality/

I’ve decided to finally put in my two cents. On what? On equality. For the genders, the races, the lovers, the humans. You’d imagine that, after years of fighting oppression, that people would be treated equally. Women wouldn't be oppressed. Blacks (and every race other than white, for that matter) wouldn’t be oppressed. LGBT+ folks wouldn’t be oppressed. But no, people are still attacked for being alive. 

A lot of people may say I’m in no place to speak for equality, that since I’m white, I’m completely out of touch with oppression. But I’m pretty damn in touch, if I say so myself. I’m a pansexual woman. I’ve been attacked-- mostly verbally-- because I have a vagina and I dared to love other people with vaginas. 

Now, for what I came here for. Over the past few years, my middle school years and now my almost full first year of high school, I’ve been writing. I write constantly. Oftentimes it’s fun stories, but I’ve also dabbled in more controversial things. I’ve decided I want to share them here. I’ll share one here and attach the others by reblogging with them, until I’ve shared all that I can. And maybe, as I write more, I’ll share them, too.

I’m not claiming to know everything here. I don’t want people attacking me over this. I just want to share my writing. The words of a depressed teenager who’s afraid to walk to my bus stop in the morning because it’s dark and there’s untrustworthy people in my neighborhood. I write this for my brothers and sisters who are abused and killed because they aren’t straight cis white men. 

So... Here we go.

    Rape culture. It's so common that the term doesn't even cause people to look away from their phones. Despite this, it's still taboo to talk about. When a man tries to stand against rape culture, he's told that, as a man, he's not at fault. With this mindset, consent becomes worthless and it's all about what he wants. When a woman tries to stand against rape, she's told that, as a woman, she's at fault. Her dress was too tight or her skirt was too short or she drank too much or it was her make up or how she was sitting. When a man pushes himself against her at a party, drunken and speaking through slurred words, and the woman says no, he calls her a prude; a whore; a bitch. Because apparently, not wanting to have sex with a stranger makes you, the woman, a terrible person. But when the man presses on and the woman finds herself beaten and bloody and disgusting, drowning in her own tears and fluids that are not her own, alone in a bathroom or bedroom or elsewhere, she's the villain. Why? She said no, but to him it meant yes, and why does he get the say in her matter? And when she fights for herself and puts her foot down, she's still the villain. Women are still treated like mindless objects of sexual desire, created for men to fullfill their dreams, and every woman who dared to use the brain that her mother gave her, she's suddenly defective and better off dead. Lost in a dirty ditch with dirty words being thrown at her mangled body.     Speaking of mothers, they aren't always the knight in shining armor for young girls to cry to after being assaulted. Sometimes, the parents of these victims are just as bad. The people that are supposed to be our saviors are being our downfalls. Some mothers tell their daughters to close their legs and dress appropriately because instead of teaching the young girls of the next generation to stand up for themselves, they're taught to stand down and let their bodies be used for men's pleasure. And some fathers tell their sons to push on if a girl says no and that consent means nothing unless it comes from his mouth, and these boys aren't being taught to respect fellow human lives.     When people dare to say that rape is wrong, they are put off. "What, did your feminazi girlfriend make you say that?" "Oh, is it that time of the month again?" Women are constantly told to sit down and let these things happen and men are told that this is okay. We are raising a generation that will rape and be raped mercilessly because we are still, in 2019, teaching people that this is normal. It shouldn't be. It never should have been. And rape isn't just one drunk teen boy going after the hot girl in his grade, it spans over all ages and professions and for all kinds of reasons. Children are raped because they don't understand consent and they're too small to fight. Disabled people are raped because they're too weak to fight. People who are lgbt will be raped because clearly they just haven't met the right man yet! And yeah, Kyle from history class is the one who will "save you from your curse of being gay". But it's not just limited to women being assaulted by men, it has gone the other way around, too. It's just not heard of as much because it's not as common, but it should be treated just the same. When men are raped, they're told that since it's sex, they're supposed to enjoy it. That's the man thing, sleeping around because you're always in the mood. When a man comes forward and cries because he didn't want what happened to him and people still punish him for the other's fault, he's told to man up and not cry, because the fact that he dares to show emotions is the issue here.     We're told as children to not trust strangers. That there are bad people out there who will do bad things to us. But most rape victims are assaulted by someone close to them. Friends, classmates, significant others, people's own familes will do these things to them. Imagine it. Someone close to you, someone you have trusted your entire life, someone that you are supposed to trust, violating you. Burning every bridge you had with them and burning the ashes, then expecting you to rebuild those bridges from the ashes yourself, just so they can be burnt again. And so many of these people have to live with this, for some it's a regular occurence of family bridge burning. Because who would believe that sweet old Uncle John would do such a thing to his young niece, she just has an overactive imagination and misread an awkward situation. These people's stories will be ignored or thrown in their face as an insult for years and years and years. Some are never able to escape it.     A lot of people don't realize the extent of sexual assault either. It's not just rape, but cat-calling and sexual advances, unwanted flirting or touches. That's all ignored when a man and a woman come into play. Men will yell a degrading, so called compliment to a woman across the street, and when she's made uncomfortable from his actions and words, she's yet again the bad guy. "Women just don't know how to take a compliment nowadays!" Well maybe women don't like being told by total strangers that they have nice boobs and are perfect for sex. Maybe there's a better way to show your respect towards someone. Just an idea though.     I've always found clothing to be the stupidest argument when it comes to this topic. Because rape has been an issue for a long, long time, as long as man has known how to use their dick, they've been taking advantage of it. Back when women wore dresses that covered everything, neck down to the floor, and they wore multiple layers, rape was still a thing. Now someone could wear a short, tight dress or a big sweater and baggy jeans and either way, they're asking for it. Because, obviously, women only dress up and make themselves look nice as an invitation for men to assault them. It's just the only reasonable answer. It seems that every part of a woman's outfit is being called out. She wore a dress to a club with her friends? Asking for it. She wore heels that match that dress? Asking for it. She wore makeup? Asking for it. She wore lacy underwear? How scandalous, oh she was definitely asking for it now.     It's just so stupid that this is considered a debateable topic. That there are people who think that rape is okay. That throwing out someone's trust and violating them in one of the worst ways possible is just a-okay! Those are the people I fear. The ones who think that consent isn't a concern and all that. Because even if they haven't assaulted someone, or aren't even planning on it, they still would support a rapist. "Think about how much it will destory his reputation if he's a rapist!" Because people think that not destroying a monster will make it disappear. "But he has a family!" And? Lots of people have families, that doesn't stop them from assaulting others.     Family is no longer an ally in this war because when people bring up loved ones and their morals, they don't realize that neither of those things are on their side. When a man decided to rape someone, that means that he threw out his love and his morals a long time ago. No one who cares about their family or their religion or their job or whatever they hell they once had would rape someone because if you cared, you wouldn't risk it. You wouldn't put everything on the line for something meaningless. You wouldn't throw your life away to assault someone. These people don't have morals now and probably never had them in the first place. That's rape culture.

the more i look at Lis/Lalisa the more i believe they are a transgered person. everything in their appearance scream it, recently it is even more shockingly obvious because they somehow gain some definition where females don't like shoulders. definitely a ladyboy!

WOW. I've never heard this before ever.

But I 1000000% believe it and she gives me the feeling she is too. I just never thought about it too seriously. But I want to say let's be careful not to make any harmful or toxic judgements based on body parts. For instance this may offend people but I can't stand getring misgendered in real life as a man strictly cause I'm very tall like one (6'0-6'2) and cause of this I carry weight more easily than women of average height so I am not rail thin (not fat either) and I have shoulders that could be considered that way although I have a curvy feminine body minus my B cup semi flat chest. I could be dolled up to the fucking gods like a prissy girly girly and random adults or people will call me "him" in public either straight to my face or behind my back like "go stand next to him. Or ask him. See what he has to say" all cause of my heart. With todays LGBTQ heavy movement in all brutal honesty it's worse for me sometimes now cause unless I 100% go out in public super sexy or feminine dressed up clearly to display I am a woman (it will still happen sadly) I will get misgendered and nobody ever fucking stops to ask or correct themselves or even speak to me to see if I am a girl or man. I had some old white dude call me sir at my old job after asking me a question. It was noisy and all so I tried to give him a pass, especially since my uniform didn't do me justice but my hair and face clearly would show I am a woman. He thanked me yet called me sir still even after hearing my voice. If I wasn't fairly new at the time I would have told him off and put him in his place, old or not.

Basically its a doubledge sword a lot of people don't want to talk about, don't realize is happening or don't have the guts to be brave enough to speak on it. A lot of cis women have to deal with being called a man, get male shaming / bullying taunts thrown their way if they are born with masculine jawlines or features or "boy" bodies or like me, have to deal with folks constantly being asses by calling us men or guys deliberately in casual passing regardless of how we aesthetically present ourselves cause the truth is with today's accelerated push and liberation for all genders being treated fairly, you cannot tell who is who anymore. You geniunely cannot tell if a woman was actually born male or transitioning / finished transitioning etc if their work is really good. Even a feminine voice and no Adams apple doesn't mean shit anymore cause they have surgery to reduce that and if someone gets lucky they can alter their voice with training, being good at changing it or some extreme cases surgery but most don't touch their voice. I feel the general public pretends to be supportive and allies but at the expense of certain cis women.

In general I am attractive and seen as a woman obviously but I noticed when I get in the big city its a toss up. But when I'm in my hometown or locally, everyone calls me a woman / girl even when I look my worse or have shit frizzy hair tied into a low ponytail that could make me look like a boy. Even when I'm wearing a mask. Even if I dress androgynous I am referred to as a girl especially by male minorities.

I really don't care how everyone will interpret what I'm saying or if an anon will gaslight or attack me with a reach of "omg you expressed a negative experience you're anti you're phobic this and that" like I don't have transgender friends Ive helped transition through tough times myself. Anyways, that's just a small disclaimer I want to give hun.

I agree with you though and I wonder a lot now.

My shoulders are the way they are cause I am just very tall and large in stature but the rest of me if soft with curves even if I gain weight in the wrong places. I can't describe it but looking deep into Lisa eyes like the upper half of her face...as silly as it sounds I can feel a hidden andgrony from her. Like she could totally call herself "them they" tomorrow and pull it off well or he them.

I just gave shoulder disclaimer cause there are tall / tall plus size women / tall underweight thin women who may get their feelings hurt if they have very rough shoulders or attributes they can't help. No matter how much society tries to force us to feel a certian way about LGBTQ we all want acceptance for who we are and it would still hurt some to be called something they aren't and it doesn't mean it means something negative but y'know.

But as for Lisa I think she has an androgny to herself everyone isn't 100% aware of minus Blackpink same sex shipping. And If she or any other idol is secretly trans then it may be a Nikki Tutorials situation where transition was done early but her body is an obvious dead giveaway now that she was born a male. She practically could step allover Jeffree star and hes ironically petite as hell. I don't watch her anymore after that cause while I am happy she living her truth and free we all know she did it to expose herself first in the form of coming out for an uplifting moment cause she was being blackmailed in some messy drama and was about to get aired out.

Its never easy to come out but I would have earnestly respected her more and her journey if she geniunely shared that with us on her own genuine time like she shares about the death of her brother I believe?

Hate me all y'all want but I felt cheated, lied to and betrayed although I was happy to hear she was trans just so she can provide more exposure for trans make up artists out there. Like sis you really had us all thinking you were one of the girls and just a big girl with a condition we could relate to. We coule see ourselves directly in.

But to me and I will not say no offense, but this explains why Nikkis make up is so heavy and full coverage preferred.

SORRY I GOT OFF TOPIC BUT I ACTUALLY THINK YOU HAVE A POINT. Unless Lisa gets pregnant someday we will never know. You can take hormone therapy to ger natural breasts now. I've watched my trans best friend do it and she has practically the same chest size as me now although her voice is still fairly the same.

But again that can be faked too pregnancy. Unless in her older age Lisa does pregnancy photshoot or is caught at the beach with her bare stomach out, she could easily gain weight purposely and wear a bump.

But that's getting silly so I'll cut it off here.

Hey, you're a writer, right? Do you think you could offer me any advice? Often, I come across an interesting character in a book or movie that I completely love, and I wish so much that I could have a character just as interesting or unique, but whenever I try to create a character, they just come out as bland and boring and have no personality :( Any tips for creating a great character? Thanks

Well character creation has been a hobby of mine for quite some time. And I’ve been told my dialogue and characters are interesting, so I’ll try. Here’s some tactics I use. But keep in mind that every author is different and has their own techniques for doing this. It’s never ever going to be a one size fits all.

That being said, let’s get into the bullet point list.

Okay. List form. Things are getting serious.

First of all, buddy, a character has to be in a place. A time. What’s that place and time? China in 15 BC? Mid 20th century Chicago? The planet Zeloid in an unknown time period after the first interplanetary civil war? Get to know this place intimately. If it’s a real place and time, do your research. If it’s fake, come up with a social system and economy and national identity and all that jazz. If it’s your hometown, get to know your surroundings more. Look at the socioeconomic standing of people with a different class than you and see how they live and talk. Be as intimately familiar with your character’s surroundings as you dare.

Next, who is this person, broadly speaking? Where in this society did they come from? What do other people see when this person walks by them at the market? What is their class? What do they look like? Have they always looked like that? How old are they?

Think about how real people work now. Study them. Look at them through a microscope and let yourself play God for a minute. Judge them. Figure out what makes them tick. Eavesdrop. Creep on conversations, but don’t be a stalker. Ask questions when you can. Study organic conversation. Think about yourself. What part of yourself do you want this character to have? Are they like you? Who you wish you could be? Are they like your mom? Is there a bit of your 5th grade teacher in them? What makes real people interesting? What kinds of flaws do certain types of people tend to have? Is the suburban mom too often plagued by a superiority complex? Do people with certain mental disorders tend to have certain insecurities? What type of person is more prone to hubris?

Okay. Now you know where they are, what they look like, and have studied a bit how people work. Now we get into the backstory.

You should get to know your characters better than they know themselves. Your character should feel so real, it’s like when you’re writing them they write the story for you. Sounds weird I know, but it happens.

Where were they born? How did their parents treat them? Did they have parents? What’s their sexual orientation and gender? How did they take that? If they’re straight were they aware of that and try to be a good ally? Why are they a good ally? Do they know a lot of queer people? If they are queer how do they cope with that? Is it “normal” in their society? Are they resentful? Did they use to be resentful? What is their favorite color? Why is that their favorite color? Did they go to a good school? What were they most likely to get bullied for? Were they ever a bully? Did they regret being a bully? What mental disorders do they have, if any? What role do genetics play in their behavior? What role does nurture play? Can you imagine what their inner dialogue sounds like? Can you know them so well that you can think for them? Do they feel real to you? They should feel like a real person.

I’ll take you though a character I’m still working on developing. Show you the process I’m taking here.

First, I was making this character to go with another character. To be his twin/half sibling and introduce the audience to the Egyptian pantheon in my mythology verse I’m working on. So, I know already I want her to be a cis lesbian, biracial, and grew up in the 1960s. She is immortal but didn’t know this for the first part of her life. This is where I’m starting.

I decide she is from Harlem. I do some research on Harlem during this time. She grew up in the middle of the civil rights movement. She also saw a few race riots. Was probably also called “too white” by black people and horrible racial slurs by white people. I decide this made her adaptable and tough, but also distrusting to some degree. She has wavy hair that is puffy, but not enough to turn into an afro. She wears it in braids now and back in the day wore it naturally as an act of rebellion. She’s tall, but not really really tall. Muscular but not obviously so. Her skin is a light brown and she has a lot of freckles. Her eyes are a golden shade of orangish yellow that an sometimes cause people to make a double take when they look at her. She’s used to this and tends to tease them about it.

She is thrown into the supernatural world in her 20s knowing almost nothing about it. I already know she is adaptable, so I go with her through this experience and watch her adapt to it. How incredibly different the Norse and Egyptian worlds are and how she’s again caught between worlds but now in a much more extreme way. How does she react to this? I see that she is cautious, but willing to learn. She sees how hard it would be to fight back, and she’s smart. She’s biding her time to see what she can do and control her newfound powers. I see she is the type of person to slowly warm up to people. She slowly warms up to her newfound half brother who grew up in Oregon, far different from anyone she’s ever encountered. I am already intimately familiar with him and how he would react to her. I make them bounce off of each other a bit. Get to know each other. This forces her to answer questions or brush them off. Which questions will she answer honestly? How far can I push her?

And there I just introduced myself to her. I learned just a little bit about my new character and the development can begin. She’s interesting already. I’ve done way more things for her than just this, but these were the beginning stages. Just the tip of the iceberg. She’s going to be a main character so I’m planning on getting to know her intimately well. She has to be as real as possible. If she isn’t it’s quite possible the audience will pick up on that.

Proper character development can be a lot of work, but it can also be a lot of fun. I’ve got characters I’ve been working with for years and they still surprise me. Take your time. Really really think in depth about them. Sit down to tea with them if you must, and find your own way of getting to know your characters. I hope you have a lot of fun with them.