#now’s the time to change
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me: I’m going to finally change my username before the end of the year!
*remembers all the story links I’ll need to fix when I do*
me:
#now’s the time to change#working on some pages and it’d be rly nice to be done w those in one go#and esp w the recent twitter migration#it’d be rly nice to be consistent in all my usernames#but. like.#I’m fine with the ao3 links that just lead to my blog#like whatever that’s what moving pages are for#but I’d have to fix some in-story fic links#and that……hhhhhhhhhhhh#dang it#why do I have so many works when did I even write any of these#this is such a minor problem in my list of AAAAAs rn#but I’m gonna whine about it the most 🤣
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY
#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt#the haunting of hill house#ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the#next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for#you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨
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limitations (part 1)
early access + nsfw on patreon
#i feel like it'd be easy to think of laswell as being unreasonable in this moment (surely she could've let price at least see simon right?)#but she's just lost a squadron of men#one of her closest friends has suffered a life-changing injury after almost dying and one of her soldiers is now a volatile smoke monster.#also first time drawing laswell can i get a heyo#captain john price#kate laswell#monster 141 au#giragi art
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I'm rewatching Steven Universe and I will never forgive Fandom for what it did to her
#also watching it at age 19-20 as it was released and experiencing the resulting clusterfuck online fandom response was a wild trip#im finally rewatching it again at 25 and really really feel lucky to have seen it at the age i did#i have completely different perspective on it now that i have 3 young nephews and a neice where before i was in college#the music is still as incredible as it was back then#and the animation#i cant beleive people got honestly and truly upset and violently aggressive about characters being off model sometimes#early stevens voice though kills me after awhile...... the yelling .... but his characters growth and development also being reflected in#his voice changing as he grows up#they also go crazy hard on some scenes#who am i kidding the show was a masterpiece and ahead of its time
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you know the art you made of Soap "accidentally" giving Ghost a kiss before going on a mission? (before they started dating) what do you think happened when Soap came back from the mission? :3c
follow up to this post
They start dating of course! <3
#ask#anon ask#u were so right to ask for a follow up to this one#ghostsoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soap x ghost#ghoap#doodle#cod fanart#my art#soap has been mortified the whole mission#like blowing stuff up and doing his job while internally having a constant monologue of ‘why did I do that??? will everything change now??’#just gay panic while war crimin’#meanwhile ghost has just been waiting to kiss soap back 😌#this comic is the 6323489th time i've smooshed them together and made them start dating. its still fun!
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don't stress about that opportunity that fell through or that friend you lost or that thing you really want to happen but isn't. as long as you keep your chin up and try try try again, better things will replace your losses. i'm looking at my life rn and actually marveling at how every single thing i stressed about, whether it be an opportunity or a person, got supplanted w another thing that is so much better. it really is true that loss makes space for better things. these days i don't get sad when something doesn't work out. i get excited that i'm now open to so many other possibilities out there, so long as i actively seek them. you never lack. you just transition.
#operating from an abundance mindset is changing my life truly#i used to fight to convince myself of it but now that i see it happening in real time? it's so true and i'm soothed by it#this isn't even coming from a manifestation or religious angle bc i'm neither of those things#i just believe that a good attitude and strong work ethic can get you places if you don't let failure stop you#and don't allow the noise (other people's opinions) to weigh you down#text
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sorry Mystra he’s not your wizard anymore
#my art#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 gale#gale of waterdeep#bg3 mystra#always thought she was blonde…#also yeah outfit change oh well#sorry mother of all magic but you told him to die so now I’m gonna hunt you down for sport#this is like the one thing I make sure to do every time I make it to act 3#baldur’s gate 3
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moments in bottoms (2023) that have permanently altered my brain chemistry in no specific order
"omg ive always wanted one of these" *holds up a normal grey hoodie*
hazel's "why would you lie to me :(("
when complicated by avril lavigne started playing and we got a scene of josie walking broodily and sad while kicking a can on the ground
"so maybe ill buy a gun" "noOo"
"im gonna fuck up some football players and im buying a gun"
"YESSSSS YESSSSSS QUEENSSS SLAAAAYYY YESSS"
"is it because i said amelia earhart was a fake hero?"
when pj basically attacked hazel with her tongue
that kiss also being like the best kiss ive seen on tv in the last 10 years like unironically im so serious
josie and isobel making out covered in blood
the guy who wanted to blow the school up and literally wrote "BLOW UP SCHOOL" in his diary
"i know you're a black republican but you're the smartest among us"
"im not (gay). i just like gay porn"
hazels mom sleeping with jeff
"i FUCKED your mom" when the mom joke is actually real but also it makes your gf break up with you
hazel
just hazel she's so pretty pls give me a chance
that whole final fight scene
the football team that would kill a player every 20 years and was going to kill jeff by putting pineapple juice, to which he is deadly allergic, in the sprinklers???????????????????
"yes hazel, let's do terrorism"
*does the terrorism*
TWICE
again the guy that wanted to blow up the school who went THAT WAS MY THING after the tree blew up. he was holding a bomb button thingy. where was the bomb. what. let's go back to that for a second. hello. where was the bomb
horny freak #1 horny freak #2
#bottoms 2023#this is it for now#literally forever changed#movie of all time#bottoms movie#bottoms the movie#hazel callahan#pj bottoms#josie bottoms#ruby cruz#ayo edebiri#rachel sennott#elizabeth banks
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something something giant isopod sharing is caring pass the detritus
inprnt
#giant isopod#marine biology#artists on tumblr#inprnt#I tried coming up with a pun but nothing popped up#cackLES#there's also another print up on inprnt that I'm waiting to post when I have other stuff settled 👀#technically inprnt is getting to see stuff a little earlier haha#also been noticing how my process has changed haha it's interesting#like I'll spend waaaaaay more time now nitpicking/adjusting colors which is fine#but like before when I was still in old process mindset I'd get frustrated and think the colors weren't coming out right#when what I needed was to spend more time figuring it out
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when you reblog, tell us what languages in the tags!!
#polls#for me it's english japanese korean italian spanish and german#remarkably there's no chinese that i can think of#i need to change that srsly#now i'm just running through languages and songs in my head to make sure i haven't missed any lmao#oh there's a swahili song i love and it WASN'T on my playlist BUT IT IS NOW#okay yeah I think that's everything#also if you saw this for a split second and then it disappeared no you didn't#i forgot to set time to a week oops
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Sleeping off
#wolfstar#harry potter#the marauders#padfoot#remus lupin#adelaida art#finally finished! after over 9 months! it's my baby now#I've started it with a totally different mood in mind - bc my mood was at a bottom of a very big hole then#but time passed things changed and here we are with a more tough night but only one shoulder hurt and it's early morning and quite pretty#and we can sleep off the night and it's all good#madame pompfrey will fix those scratches in 15 seconds or less so i call it a win
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iñaki luffy you are so loved forever
edit:
The gangs all here! Happy OPLA release day!!
#op#opla#one piece#one piece live action#monkey d luffy#watched a cast interview and auuughhh they are literally the strawhats#im so excited for aug 31 u dont even know#pps art#hi luffy tab#btw this post had like maybe 30 notes before the luffy tab incident#im gonna run out of space#changed this one QUICK this time#now that i know the tab is changed at 11 ill be swifter than ever#i dunno if the one piece tab will be there tomorrow so i put the group photo on sanjis tab
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approximation of an idea i had for how ik solves levi's ordeal whenever it's his turn for this weird demon puberty everyone in nb s2 is having
from this post
#obey me#art#ik gets nightbrought#obey me leviathan#jtta ik#also i nicked the makes-it-rain-when-sad from neuvillette again#nightbringer#edit added the link to the post and PUT THE WORD IT INTO THE 2ND PANEL BECAUSE I FORGOT THE FIRST TIME SOMEHOW#this is what i call ik's nightbringer outfit now btw!! just to distinguish it from classic jtta#and also since she'd probably have a style change in the time between yknow#big jumper has been swapped for big cardigan and that's the main difference#also just for variety she has her hair tied up
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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 4 spoilers#mel is so cute but mal fits with the rest of the draconias better#eng version no you were supposed to save me not make things MORE confusing#anyway raverne huh#that uh. that sure feels like it's supposed to evoke raven doesn't it.#what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN#hold on i'm going to flail around embarrassingly about anime character theories now#(okay first a disclaimer: i do think we need to sit down as a fandom at some point)#(and have a discussion about exactly what is actual canon versus meta speculation versus jokes)#(because i think there has been. some confusion. over that re:crowley and raverne specifically)#(but i do feel justified in being like THEY ARE PROBABLY CONNECTED SOMEHOW RIGHT?! right now)#like i really don't think it's as simple as crowley being raverne but with memory loss or something#(and if they pull that on us i'm going to need an EXTREMELY good explanation to go with it to justify that)#they've gone out of their way several times now to make a point about them acting and sounding different and it feels very intentional to m#(and once again: i super 100% absolutely do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him with the top half of his face covered)#i just think the contradictions are a lot stronger than the connections right now but there ARE some connections and i'm 👀ing at them#to be fair the connections are mostly meta like crowley being diablo/raverne being evocative of raven#also the general 'raverne mysteriously disappeared and apparently had distinctive eyes' thing#versus 'crowley's past is unknown and he never shows his eyes'#(i will argue that crowley DOES seem to have some kind of canon connection to briar valley)#(since he is clearly some sort of fae and the masks are a briar valley thing)#and that is kinda it right now isn't it#okay hold on i had to delete some tags because i used too many (thanks tumblr for letting me know and not just vanishing them OH WAIT)#so tl;dr: i'm in the 'crowley is connected to raverne somehow but it's more complicated than just him being in disguise' camp personally#but that will probably change as we get more info and also don't take this as an anti-speculation thing because i love theories HOORAY
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you
but keeps it to goodnight
because love will take some falling
and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
#nosebleed club#sorry stephen not ur fault#just like. thinking#writeblr#spilled ink#warm up#every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u#im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn#so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it#or you're going to BE mean#or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u#lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner#literally changed the shape of my life
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