English added by me :)

Things I didn't know I needed to know

Meet me on the thematically relevant rooftop bro

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!

My hands:

You should always strive to give your followers an extremely warped impression of your favorite media

MXTX really said: if you write a villian who has suffered abuse and trauma but also does cruel and evil things, the audience is going to divide into people who either say his trauma means his actions were 100% justified or people who say he deserved his trauma because of his later evil actions. When the truth is the villian is both a traumatised victim and guilty of their very evil crimes in equal measure. In fact I'm giving you a specific example so you understand what I'm talking about

And the audience proceeded to prove her point exactly

You should always strive to give your followers an extremely warped impression of your favorite media

i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

The Panama Canal

I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!! continues not only living like this but in fact gets actively worse with time

Further support for headcanon & how hilariously epic Victor’s sulk is. It’s true that Victor was undecided between Agape and Eros for his next season, but the moves that he was practicing, the one that Yurio recognized immediately as being from his unfinished short program…….that was Eros. Victor was planning to do a program about him getting dumped by Katsuki Yuuri in front of the entire world and probably win all the gold medals with it. A season that he originally expected Katsuki Yuuri to be competing in.

Also when he was skating this, he didn’t expect Yurio to be there. He was more or less expecting just him and Yuuri, since this going to be the first day he and Yuuri will get to skate together. HE WAS TOTALLY EXPECTING YUURI TO WALK IN AND SEE HIM SKATING THEIR STORY OF THE LOVE GAME.

Also, this face.

THIS FACE MEANS SO MANY THINGS NOW, MAN.

Mi ansiedad viendo este vídeo 📈📈

trying to type out my thoughts on something is apparently really hard because of how my brain works. I set out to ramble a bit on an "oh!!" moment I had for writing except idk how to explain this came about thanks to a shit post, a tweet screenshot, and a quote about spike jones.

2-3 times a month I desperately yearn for a good tags page to organize everything and every time I get maybe 5 minutes into it before my brain rebels and I remember why I don't

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because my parents joked so many times about returning me to the child store I decided to void the warranty.