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pigidin · 1 month

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OKAY. Am I the only one fascinated by how much Alastor in s1 has interacted with other demons and built a potential for considerable amount of different, broad and unique relationships? With All of them being non-romantic/sexual?

I really don't wanna dive into the discourse of shipping coz honestly, I do think that erasing Al's aroaceness is not cool at all. Personally, I don't see him wishing any romance/sex at all, and well. Considering how platonic he actually is throughout the season, it kinda seems like people forget that friendship (or basically anything non rom-sex) exists in the first place.

Coz, like, let's see what we got::

Vox -- probably one-sided (psychosexual) crush from Vox with possible past friendship between them, them hating on each other yet having (used to have) some respect as well. The ANGST, the drama (for both of sides). Insert aroace troubles (possible aphobia from Vox? Or not? He may be biggest ally as well!) and Vox's petty feelings that are insanely interesting to explore (and laugh at).

Lucifer -- immediate hate that (with a course of events) can turn into forced bonding. The potential of queerplatonic parenting of Charlie is HUGE here. Insecurities from Al? Forced care? Banters? SHENANIGANS? Luci patching up Al after battle, prolly discovering his deal and them slowly bonding on shared interests? Hey.

Rosie -- literal established queerplatonic partners, married for tax benefits, spending their evenings gossiping, hating on Susan and Al rolling his eyes on another romance-rel drama Rosie was trying to help sb with. Rosie can have insane influence on him whether it is understanding modern things or just being with him when he needs it. It also gives off mom/son to me.

Husk -- fucked up master-pet not-friendship with probable care rooted since they were closer in past. Is it toxic? Yes. Is it giving off some problematic dynamic? Sure. Yet it's fucking complex on its core considering pilot, bits and pieces of their interaction and how easily Husk used to insult Al until he overstepped. Them two are quite similar if you think about it and if Al got over his ego it could benefit him a lot.

Niffty -- daugther/father dynamic with them sharing one sadistic-psycho braincell and genuinely enjoying each other's quirks. Protective Al? I just need more Niff and them two being partners in the most outrageous crimes.

Mimzy -- friendship going since they were humans, with them having an amazing (potential) backstory of sharing evenings on two. Al enjoying her company as well as being protective and helpful to her with nothing in return.

Charlie -- manipulated into trusting you as a dad figure? Don't tell me there is nothing below Al's creepy plans or that he wouldn't grow to care for her. He already is proud of her and finds amusement in her inspiration-skills (also, performance is his thing for a reason)

Angel -- I was honestly kinda upset we didn't see any interactions between them except one sex joke, coz my past era of Hunicasts was a fuel to their duo. Them bonding over how different they are is the best description of their dynamic. Also banters and body-puns.

You can't just erase Alastor from interacting with people, but putting him inside boxes of allonormative relationships while he has such a fucking huge potential for everything beyond just that - is quite.. disappointing. People turning a blind eye to a wide variety of relationships he can have (potential to which is set in canon) for the sake of just romance/sex is low key sad.

It's AWESOME to see ppl actually understanding it and.. damn THANKS to everyone who explores Al's relationship with others without it involving final wish to stick tongues into places. Dynamics can be interesting and exciting without it.

I really don't wanna project my romance-aversion onto Al, but when romance and sex is one thing you see everywhere.. it's hard to just let it slip.

You are allowed to do whatever you want, exploring physical intimacy is fun as well, and having Al, well, there are bunch of ways to show it with respecting his orientation and the fact that IT AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS/ATTRACTIONS but please just don't make it the center of your attention, the one thing relationship revolves around, coz sadly it's just exactly how it looks like from some folks.

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brainylittledumpsterfire · 25 days

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If you're going to ship Alastor, just do it.

I'm AroAce, and honestly I'd prefer if you wouldn't, but it's not my job to police you. so just do it.

Don't sit here and feed me an essay on how Aromanticism is a spectrum. Don't try and convince me he's "Just Ace, not Aro" because the marketing team and the subtext of the show has made his identity, abundantly clear..

Just do it. If you're going to, just get on with it.

Because it's honestly so much more insulting to hear someone treat my sexuality like some horrible cock block that ruins their day than it is for them to just do what they're inevitably going to and leaving me the hell out of it.

I know my tone here is a bit harsh, but I mean this genuinely. Do it. Go ahead. Just leave me alone.

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moraent-keys · 2 months

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So I know a bunch of aroace people can’t really tell the difference between platonic and romantic (myself included), but do any other aroace people have this problem when it comes to ships? /genq i would like to know if others experience this

I can’t tell how I ship something or how I view relationships in general anymore and I’m confused

#yeah this is about radioapple ngl #radioapple #appleradio #aroace #genuinely confused #help #like #I can’t tell if how I think of them is platonic queer platonic or romantic #honestly probably not fully platonic at this point #text post #I’m having a moral dilemma but I also really don’t care #is this an aroace thing or an autistic thing?#or both?#idk I’m so confused #ship talk

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archrries · 2 months

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In reference to my last post, this is a list of queerplatonic radioapple headcanons cause I love them:

Alastor doesn't really understand the appeal of kissing. Lucifer loves it. They come to a middle ground which seems to make them both pretty happy. Alastor just doesn't like the skin on wet skin contact of kisses. But he'll admit, Lucifer's gentle kisses over his clothes feel rather nice. The barrier keeps Alastor comfortable to the point he can actually enjoy the type of touch, and Lucifer gets all the kisses he wants.

Speaking of, Lucifer just loves kissing the back of Alastor's hand. Like some princess, really. But it seems to occur more when they're holding hands than a greeting.

Contrary to popular believe, Alastor doesn't hate being touched. He just hates how the people who keep touching him do it without any notice. Of course he's not gonna like random hands on him. That's how you get killed around there. But Lucifer always always lets him know. Mainly so he's not smacked into the wall by some shadow tentacle, but also cause he doesn't like how tense Alastor gets when it happens. It completely changes the mood and usually leaves him rather sour.

When they hold hands, it's usually for the hell of it, but Lucifer often becomes fidgety and holds his hand because of it. It's better than wringing his own hands out and Alastor gets that soothing feeling of a thumb running over the back of his hand. Which, no, he will never admit how much he likes the feeling.

Lucifer is like a weighted blanket and Alastor is like a pillow more often than not. Just sprawls himself over Alastor while he does whatever. Alastor seems to take that time to...sleep? He isn't actually sure. The man just kind of stares blankly for a couple of hours. But either way, Lucifer is warm laying on Alastor and Alastor makes a comfy spot for him to tinker with his fire-breathing, back-flipping rubber ducks.

Will add more to this later

#yes these are based on my friend and I #not to an exact but its heaviky influenced #radioapple #aroace alastor #hazbin alastor #aroace #aspec #alastor x lucifer #lucifer x alastor #asexual alastor #asexual #lgbt #queerplatonic #queerplatonic radioapple

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eslypyiris · 15 days

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What your favorite ship from Hazbin Hotel says about you

═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════

★ Warning: This post was made as a joke, don't take it seriously. Any resemblance to reality is pure coincidence ★

═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════

Chaggie: You think you are always right.

Chalastor: You used to be (or still are) that theatre kid.

Huskerdust: You're dealing with a lot of problems and don't know how to fix them.

Radiodust: You are old.

Vaggie/Angel Dust: You are VERY old.

Radiohusk: You like cute animal and angst fics.

Staticmoth: You think even villains deserve love.

Staticradio: You are here for the drama.

Radiorose: You want to date your best friend.

Radioapple: You want Charlie to have two dads (Also, you wanna be Charlie's sibling)

Adamsapple: You watched Good Omens.

Lucilith: You just want Lucifer to fix his family issues and be happy (Honestly, who doesn't?)

Cherrisnake: You think snakes are cool and/or cute.

Guitarspear: You think of yourself as a bad person, but actually the only thing you really want is to be loved and understood.

Emilute: You want either a tough partner or a soft partner. There's no in between.

Polyvees: You spend a lot of time on the internet.

Valdust: Police, it's this one!

Chaggily: You want Emily to fall.

Charmily: You are soft.

Zestmilla: You are goth.

RoyalFlush: You don't let yourself be fooled by appearances.

Staticspider: Your favorite season is winter because It's the perfect excuse to wrap yourself in a blanket and watch TV.

Radiomaid: You like anime.

Staticradioapple: You, my dear friend, are horny or a helpless romantic.

Brokerdoll: You're tired and you want things to go back to the way they used to be.

Staticapple: You've been having bad luck in love because you've been looking for that "special someone," but the day you stop looking for them will be the day you'll finally be loved.

Character x reader: You wish you were born in the hazbin hotel universe.

(I think these are all the ships. If I forgot any, let me know🌸)

Second part :

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mythbringer-mayhem · 1 month

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Comic wip?? Idk

To be honest, I haven't been able to draw shit recently. The stuff I have, I've struggled with. I've been working on this Radioapple comic for a little while, but I dont really like how it's turning out-

I'm posting this anyways, I'm going to redo this. Probably in a more sketchy style so I don't give myself more wrist problems then I already have-

I like the concept of the comic, just not the execution, hopefully I'll get the full thing out to my liking soon enough :p

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420technoblazeit · 2 months

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i just saw a radioapple animatic to a lovely night from la la land and i think it just hit me why i don't ship alastor and lucifer. i think it's infinitely funnier if instead of having the classic enemies to lovers dynamic there really is just hatred between them but all of hell is CONVINCED otherwise

like obviously given that theyre both father figures to charlie there's already rumors circulating but picture this. everyone in the hotel saw how close those two got during their duet so theyre like well maybe there's something there🤨🏳️‍🌈? but lucifer walks into the room after the hotel's been rebuilt and alastor immediately gets up off the couch to leave. but before he can even make it halfway there lucifer trips on nothing and somehow ends up IN his arms. straight out of a romance manga. and it only takes them half a second to get to opposite ends of the room but by that point angel's already taken 12 pictures and posted it on twitter and an hour later it's trending because of course it is. the radio demon and the king of hell are living together and theyve been spotted in such a compromising position? how scandalous! whatever, theyre both public figures so they both hope it brushes over quickly enough

but the worst part is it keeps happening. alastor goes to take a smoke break in the middle of the night and finds lucifer there on the roof. and when he tries to get back inside the door locks behind him and they have to call charlie to let them back in. but by that time a vox drone has already taken a video of the whole thing. they get into a fight at some point and someone walks in right as it was getting heated and thinks they were going to kiss. they were not. alastor just got so pissed that he was about to headbutt lucifer with his antlers. it's like theyre under some kind of romance trope spell and it's absolutely INFURIATING to both of them

all of the tabloids are running stories on this. it's the opening subject of every overlord meeting and alastor has to FIGHT to keep smiling every time as he insists there's nothing there. vox bursts into val's room in tears because he thinks his worst nightmare's come true and alastor's fucking the king of hell. everybody's terrified of what the fallout would be if they ever broke up. half the sinners are convinced that any day the hotel's just going to explode. no one believes in god anymore but it's the one thing that makes them start praying. but there actually is NOTHING there they just can't get anyone to believe otherwise. and neither of them has the heart to yell at charlie for continuously trying to push them together

#i dotn know if this is funny to anyone else. lmk if i should take htis out of the radioapple tag also. i dont think it's necessarily ship #bashing but it's also not ship content? and not NOT ship content. idk #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #alastor #alastor the radio demon #the pig squeals #radioapple

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nunalastor · 3 months

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Ummm hi. I’m back. I just have more thoughts on them. So Radioapple HCs pt.2

Lucifer doesn’t help Alastor get more powerful. He could. He’s willing to. But Al wants to be able to say he made it to the top without any help, so he doesn’t. This is part of why they don’t get married (or at least it doesn’t happen for a long long time. Because marrying the King just, auto gives you a power boost. Charlie is upset about this fact and tries to convince Al its okay every so often.

Alastor has a radio studio at Lucifer’s house, though it’s hardly ever used, because they like to stay at the Hotel most of the time. It’s most often used when Al needs a break from people, or to freak people out because they know he’s not at the Hotel, so where is he?

Lucifer and Charlie are the only two who can take pictures of Alastor without them being messed up. Though if they do it without enough warning, it’ll be sticky because he wasn’t prepared. Lucifer doesn’t really do anything with this, but Charlie does. She post a lot of pictures of the three of them on her socials.

It drives the Vees, mainly Vox, insane when she does, and even Velvette is a little concerned when the hashtags #RadioDadmon and #KingofRadio start to trend. These match the existing hashtags for Lucifer, #Dadvil and #KingofHell. These start trending and becoming things a while before they before official (or at least, office to the public) and it causes so many theories

these are so cute! 😭

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #appleradio #lucifer #radio apple #apple radio #alastor wanting to feel like he made it on his own 🤌🤌#headcanon #nunalastor asks

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hazelfoureyes · 1 month

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Me to myself:

I’m really behind on replying to all of the sweet comments and reblogs and my inbox is gushing but I need a day of recovery from that RadioApple update, my brain is worn out. A day of just rest and then I’ll catch up with all the kind feedback and funny replies and then get back to work on the next piece!

my brain at 3am, two hours after posting RadioApple choose your own dickventure:

You slid across the floor, hands and feet struggling to find purchase as he reeled you toward the bed. Alastor lifted you by the glowing chain around your neck, evidence of the deal you so easily accepted.

“Can a deer breed a rabbit?” He mused, breath ragged as he struggled to remain in control of his impulses, “Doubtful. But I’ll give it my sincerest efforts, regardless.”

My brain is on crutches trying to swing dance right now because it’s a dumb bitch piloting a dumber bitch meat mecha

༻Masterlist༺

#hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel smut #alastor smut #alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #fanfiction

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pep-rambles · 2 months

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Lucifer is a Swiftie headcanons because I kin this man so much I am projecting my other hyperfixations on him

But also I mean c'mon,

Look at him

yes there is RadioApple in this

-It probably started from Charlie. When she was in high school (post emo phase obviously) she may have enjoyed Taylor Swift (maybe Fearless got her through her senior year because I can't stop projecting) Lucifer started listening to try and have something to bond with his daughter about. But about the time Charlie kind of lost interest is about the time Lucifer doubled down on his obsession.

-He has been to basically almost every Eras concert, usually in really good seats because many a swiftie has offered to sell their soul for tickets. He said keep your soul just let him tag along.

-He is definitely an Evermore stan mostly because of relating too hard to the divorce narrative of it.

-Speaking of, Charlie has threatened to lock him out of his Spotify after catching him on the floor crying to “Champaign Problems” on repeat too many times. She never would but most definitely tried to ban him from listening to it for a month.

-She then caught him crying to “You’re Loosing Me”

-Angel Dust is most definitely Beyhive (killer bee probably) and though initially joking that they are rivals the two men bond over their love for the two queens of pop, recommending songs and videos to each other.

-Angel is a Reputation Stan though

-After one of Lucifer’s many tiffs with Alastor, Charlie is expressing her frustration asking her dad why can’t they just get along and Lucifer explains that he doesn’t trust Alastor because “I think his ever-present grin is a little troubling” and is a little upset when she doesn’t get it

-One day, Luci is sitting in the Lobby doing his work while listening to Taylor on shuffle. He’s casually minding his own business jamming out to one of her poppier love songs and Alastor wanders in commenting on the “Obnoxious trite little diddy” Lucifer doesn't even hesitate to take the bait

L: HOW DARE YOU! SHE IS A TALENTED GODDESS!! A DOWNRIGHT MUSICAL CHAMELEON! You are such a snob Alastor! Good music didn't stop getting made after your tiny little lifetime.

A: I never said it did but it's certainly not this frivolous noise!

L: Oh, you uninformed uncultured cur! She is a fucking poet!

He then proceeds to play examples for Alastor of her most creative and heart wrenching lyrics (he absolutely makes Al sit through all 10 minutes and 13 seconds of ATW)

After all that though Lucifer will never get Alastor to admit that he finds T.S. musically talented (or that Lucifer did in fact catch Al tapping his foot a couple times)

-Alastor does come to Lucifer, after a bit of research, admitting that though he does not find her music enjoyable, he respects her business cunning. Luci figures that's good enough. For now.

-because I bet my non-existent Eras tour tickets that Lilith was a hater. I’ll leave it at that.

-OP works at Barnes & Noble and let me tell you there are about 80 different Taylor Swift magazines that even my swiftie ass thinks is excessive but Lucifer has every single one

-including the Taylor Swift paper dolls magazine (yes this is a real thing). He probably gets a few because he convinces Charlie to use them as a team building activity.

-He has at least 3 copies of each of the covers for the 2023 TIME Person of the Year magazine.

-Also all cardigans. On a casual day he definitely lounges in them and has a set rotation of when to wear each one (and I am totally not gonna draw that nope)

-Well, it seems Lucifer is no longer crying to the depressing break-up songs on repeat but now he seems to be angrily listening to “Gorgeous” on repeat. Charlie asks him about it and he goes full denial mode “No no Charlie I'm not thinking of anyone specific, I've just been really into this song lately.” Everyone else in the hotel, besides Alastor, has already figured out what's going on

Alastor: If I have to hear that obnoxious noise one more time I will reduce that tiny maniac’s room to rubble as well as the abode of whatever sad sack is making him play it.

Angel: *knowing smirk* I'm gonna hold ya to that one, Antlers.

-Al may very well hear it one more time if Lucifer uses it as his confession song (I don't fully commit to this headcanon, I just think it's funny)

-Anyway boy’s probably in his Reputation stan Era b/c LWYMMD is like his long overdue big F-YOU to Heaven song

btw this is NOT gonna end at these headcanons I am running with this idea like scissors.

@nunalastor

@julsiemagne

@nose-nippin-fun (I know you're not a swiftie but we talked about this so idk if you care I can un-tag you if you want)

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ivydbomb · 2 months

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Hi Hazbin Hotel fandom 👋 it would be really cool of you all to stop shipping Alastor with every single other character possible. I’ve been getting a lot of hate for trying to explain this in the comments of a billion radioapple ship art posts and i’m sorta close to losing my mind.

He is canonically aroace. Yes aroace people can be in relationships. Absolutely they can. They can be in sexual AND romantic relationships. 100%. But PLEASE for the love of all that is holy and unholy- if you are not on the aspec, arospec, or aroaspec spectrums- do not publicly post content where he’s making out with Lucifer. Or Angel dust. Or- well- you get the point.

We get ONE character. ONE that is CANONICALLY AROACE. And I am getting absolutely torn to shreds every time I try to hold my little poor orphan boy hands out asking for little scraps of aroace representation. “Please sir, can I have some aroace?” I’m practically Oliver Twist at this point.

People are completely erasing his sexual and romantic identity and it’s really disheartening for me and I’m sure for a lot of other aroace people. This has been stated before and has been stated many times, but, IF YOU WOULD NOT SHIP A CANON GAY CHARACTER WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER YOU SHOULDN’T SHIP A CANON AROACE CHARACTER WITHOUT PROPERLY PORTRAYING THEIR ARO OR ACE IDENTITY AS WELL.

It’s not even about the ship art it’s about the complete erasure of his aroaceness. Could people pretty please stop yelling at me for pointing that out? No I am not a hater. No Vivzipop did not say you can ship Alastor with whoever you want (as somebody told me, but has yet to show proof she said this specifically). No it is not ok to do this. I am BEGGING. You guys have an entire massive cast of characters who are of age and have interesting dynamics to ship. Leave Alastor alone unless you include his identity and an explanation as to why you think the portrayal benefits the aroace community.

It’s really simple.

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #aro #ace #aroace #alastor aroace #alastor #radioapple #is this too much to ask for #genuinely

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charliewhaw · 3 days

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what do you think Alastor would do if Lucifer flirted with him?

(Gasp! RadioApple! AppleRadio! Whichever it is! This will be fun!) (( Post edited and contributed to by balloondrifloon ))

“No, your Majesty, I think I’ve got bigger priorities,” Alastor said with a smirk, his eyes squinting at his short-people joke.

Lucifer frowned. That was enough! He wasn’t taking any more short comments from this man. He’d give him a taste of his own medicine!

“Are you a fire alarm?!” Lucifer asked loudly, watching in delight as the red-haired man’s smile faltered slightly and he tilted his head in confusion.

“A fire alarm?”

“Because you’re making my heart race and my blood boil!” Lucifer grinned triumphantly, placing his hands on his hips and narrowing his eyes at Alastor.

“I-.. Wha-..” Alastor stuttered, raising a brow at the king.

Lucifer paused. Holy shit… He didn’t just–… He fucking used a pick up line on Alastor! Lucifer’s pale cheeks flushed golden as his angelic blood bloomed across his face. He tried to salvage his comment, “I-I mean–!” He pointed up at the other man, “Y-You–!” There was no rescuing this.

Alastor shook his head to rid himself of his stupor, then cleared his throat and summoned his cane with his usual flair. “Anyway, ahem. I must go and attend to these ‘bigger’ priorities, my Liege.” He shot Lucifer a smug grin and disapparated into his shadows.

Wait a minute. Had Alastor not even noticed? Did Lucifer just get away with flirting with Alastor? Well goddamn, it seemed the deer was denser than a brick when it came to flirting. To be honest, so was Lucifer, but at least he had practice with Lilith. Shit… Why was he still blushing?

---

“Charlie, my dear, why is there a red circle around the words ‘French toast’ in the hotel’s financial report?” Alastor smiled sweetly at Lucifer’s daughter. He showed her the papers the girl had handed him and pointed at the circle in question.

“Oh! That’s– wait, why did I write and circle that?” Charlie took the papers and examined them, bewildered by her own actions.

Alastor waited patiently for Charlie to come to some kind of conclusion. He was standing far too close to his daughter for Lucifer’s liking. “Hey, Alastor!” Lucifer called, causing both the demon and the half angel to look up at him.

“If good looks could kill,” Lucifer smirked, feeling the blood already pooling in his cheeks, “You’d be a weapon of mass destruction!”

Charlie’s jaw dropped.

Alastor squinted his eyes, “Pardon?”

“You heard me,” Lucifer felt the adrenaline of the flirt kicking in. Seeing Alastor’s face as he searched for an answer in Lucifer’s eyes was thrilling. He had no idea what Lucifer was doing, and his ignorance was… really cute? Endearing even. Was he serious? Did he find this obnoxious demon cute?

“My,” Alastor placed his hands behind his back proudly, “Thank you!”

“What?” Lucifer blinked. “What– what do you mean ‘Thank you’?” Had he understood that pickup line? Was he… accepting it? Lucifer’s face flushed even harder.

“While I appreciate these compliments, Lucifer, I was in the middle of something,” Alastor’s smile twitched with conceit. Oh. He thought Lucifer was just complimenting him. Was he fucking for real? This fucking guy.

Charlie stumbled over her words, “I-Uh-Wha-I-”

“French toast?” Alastor said cutely as he tilted his head, trying to get Charlie back on track, his ego now inflated.

Fucking narcissit.

Alastor was an idiot, Lucifer decided.

Both men were sitting on the couch as Shifty (Was that the little maid’s name?) played with-- wait... Roach corpses? Okay, then. She was apparently putting on some sort of puppet show for the two of them. Lucifer wasn’t sure how he or Alastor got roped into being her audience. It just kind of happened.

Alastor’s smile was closed-mouth and his lips were stretched thin in what Lucifer assumed as an attempt to keep from making a disgusted face that would hurt Drifty’s feelings. His eyes were crinkled at the corners, fondness for the maid’s antics showing in them. For a moment, Lucifer wished Alastor would look at him that way.

He leaned closer to the radio demon, making Alastor’s eyes flick to him without moving his head. Lucifer whispered, “Is your name Chaos?” He cautiously reached out and touched Alastor’s leg, “Because you’re turning my world upside down.”

Alastor froze. After a second, his eyes widened. They darted between Lucifer’s soft smile and his hand on Alastor’s thigh. He abruptly pulled away, scooting himself across the couch and putting his back against the armrest.

Lucifer’s smile widened at this reaction. Alastor’s did too, but for different reasons. He looked defensive and nervous, “What did you just say?” He asked in a much louder voice than Lucifer had flirted in.

Zifty leaned her head out from behind her makeshift stage, “Quiet! Juliet is just about to confess her feelings for Romeo!” The roach story had not been following the story of Romeo and Juliet at all, but it didn’t matter.

What mattered was Alastor looking so dumbfounded and pretty across from Lucifer. He wasn’t blushing, and maybe he even looked a little green around the gills, but the adrenaline Lucifer felt was exhilarating. He scooted closer and whispered again, “Are you a hurricane? Because you’re blowing me away.”

Alastor quickly stood up, “Well, Niffty! This was another excellent show, but I do believe I’ll be taking my leave now!”

Niffty (Her name was Niffty!) tossed down her roaches and stood up too, “But Mister Alastor! You said you’d watch the whole thing!”

“Plans have changed my, dear!” He patted her head in a panic and slipped into his shadows, promising to watch her next show to its entirety.

Niffty turned to glare at Lucifer like she knew this was somehow his fault.

Alastor avoided Lucifer for a while. It was frustrating. Lucifer wanted to see Alastor’s mind try to wrap itself around another pickup line. The facial expressions were gorgeous and Lucifer craved them. He–... fuckity fuck fuck. Fuck! Was he falling for Alastor?!

There was no way! He just liked seeing Alastor flustered was all! That was it. It was funny! Nothing else! That sentiment changed the moment Alastor entered the hotel. He had been out with Niffty and Charlie, picking flowers for an upcoming recruiting event. It wasn’t something Lucifer expected the man to do, but he supposed, somehow, the girls had worked their charms on him.

What he had expected even less was for Alastor to enter the hotel… covered in flowers. They decorated his antlers, wrapped around his ears, and dotted his hair. He was… he was gorgeous.

Well fuck. Lucifer had definitely fallen for Alastor.

He couldn’t stop himself from approaching the deer. The panic in Alastor’s eyes when he spotted the king was obvious. He hurriedly tried to hand Charlie his basket of flowers, “Here you are, Charlie! Excellent activity! One for the ages!” He tried to rearrange Charlie’s hold because her hands were too full to take his basket, “But I simply must be going now! Rosie is waiting for me! We have much to discuss about the–”

“Alastor,” Lucifer interrupted him.

Alastor froze, looking toward the shorter man and narrowing his eyes. His plans to disappear before Lucifer got there were squashed. Still holding his flower basket, he now placed it in front of himself like a barrier.

Lucifer ignored Charlie as she began whispering to Vaggie and Angel. Husk was there too, but he was just staring at them.

Perfect. An audience. If he did this in front of others, Alastor would fluster so hard it would be irresistible.

“Do you have a bandaid?” Lucifer asked, feeling his smirk growing wider.

Alastor’s lower eyelid twitched. He knew where this was going. No one else did. Charlie looked at her dad with concern, worried he might be hurt. Angel and Husk raised a brow at him. Niffty tilted her head.

“Because I scraped my knee when I fell for you.”

Niffty gasped loudly, putting her hands to her cheeks.

Charlie squeaked in shock.

Vaggie’s hands dropped to her sides as he mouth dangled open, befuddled.

Angel’s eyes widened and a grin slowly formed on his face, “Oh-ho! Holy fuck!”

Husk did a double take between Alastor and Lucifer.

But their reactions didn’t matter. Only Alastor’s did. Lucifer’s eyes greedily took in Alastor’s response to that pickup line– one of his better ones, he had to say.

Alastor, however, wasn’t flustered. He was staring at Lucifer like he was considering something. Wait, was he considering Lucifer’s feelings? Now, hold on a minute! Lucifer was only just now coming to terms with his feelings himself, Alastor wasn’t allowed to stop the chase just yet!

The deer-demon hummed to himself briefly before smiling wickedly at Lucifer and snapping his fingers. A bandaid appeared in his hands, and he handed it to Lucifer, “There you are, my good man. Wouldn’t want your boo-boo to get infected.” He set his basket down on the ground since no one was willing to take it, and saunted away from the group and toward the staircase, “Do take care of yourself, my king.” He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder, “Do that for me, will you?”

Lucifer’s blood ran hot at the smug look on Alastor’s face. Alastor then walked up the stairs and disappeared from view. This. Fucking. Guy!

“Okay, what the fuck, Dad?” Charlie asked, throwing her hands out. Everything she was holding onto fell to the floor, “Whoops!”

“I’m adding this to my ultimate bad boys fanfiction!” Niffty said, snickering to herself.

“Soooo, who’s the top?” Angel asked suggestively, crossing his upper arms and putting his lower hands on his hips.

“Fuck my life,” Husk mumbled, dragging a hand down his face.

Vaggie shook her head, “I’m out.” She walked off.

Lucifer ignored them all. He swallowed hard, trying to control the furious blush running across his cheeks. Alastor was planning something.

Alastor stopped avoiding Lucifer; This time he sought him out.

“Lucifer! My king!” Alastor exclaimed cheerfully, entering the room.

Lucifer, who had been reading a WickedWiki article on his phone called “How To Ask Someone Out instructions with pictures”, nearly dropped said phone when Alastor loudly greeted him.

Lucifer looked up, his heart fluttering at the sight of Alastor looking devastatingly handsome, as always, and so pleased to see him. He felt himself already beginning to blush and he hadn’t even started flirting with the redhead yet.

Alastor leaned against the armchair Lucifer was sitting in, “How are you today? Good? Good!” He was so close to Lucifer that Lucifer could have just reached out and pulled him into his lap.

Maybe noticing Lucifer’s eyes lingering on his waist, Alastor pulled away from the chair and backed up a bit. He smiled at Lucifer with a charismatic grin, “I have a proposal to make.” His words were calm but mischievous. Lucifer could smell a trick a mile away. He had once been Heaven’s ultimate prankster– well, just second to Uriel, but like… Fuck Uriel. He played dirty.

“A proposal, huh?” Lucifer asked, unable to keep his eyes off Alastor’s tiny waist now that he’d looked at it.

Alastor placed his cane, and his hands, in front of himself to block Lucifer’s view, “Yes, indeed! One I think you’d be most interested in!”

“I’m listening,” Lucifer said, though he wasn’t listening too hard. His eyes had gone up to Alastor’s face, craving the flustered look he had previously brought upon the man. What Alastor said next, instead, made Lucifer become flustered.

“I’ll go on a date with you, if you promise me a favor.”

Lucifer choked on his spit, “Y-You’ll do what?!”

“A date.” Alastor’s teeth clenched, “Provided you hold up your end of the bargain and grant me a favor.” He repeated his terms like he was worried Lucifer hadn’t heard them.

Lucifer stood up quickly, “Holy shit! Y-yeah! Fuck! A date? Are you serious?” He tossed his phone down into his chair, no longer needing the WickedWiki article. Alastor had asked him out. This was like a dream come true!

Alastor extended his hand, “Excellent! A date for one favor!” He repeated again, Lucifer was starting to think he was trying to remind himself that and not Lucifer.

Lucifer took his hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it, earning a shudder from Alastor, before he shook on the deal.

Today was the day.

Lucifer stood in the lobby, nervously adjusting his lapels. He had put on his best suit for this. He’d even had Razzle and Dazzle polish his nicest pair of boots! If he was going to take Alastor out, he was going to do it while he looked his best. The man cared a lot about appearances: Lucifer aimed to please his sense of aesthetic.

He stood in the lobby for a good 15 minutes, nervously adjusting his bowtie and fiddling with his hat. Alastor wasn’t late. Lucifer had been early. But the waiting was taking a toll on him. His mind started to wander.

What if Alastor didn’t show up? What if he decided Lucifer wasn’t good enough? What if–

Alastor’s shadow darted down the staircase. Lucifer held his breath as Alastor began to form in front of him. Once he was fully visible, Lucifer’s face grew hot. Alastor was wearing a fitted, crushed velvet, red suit that was open in the front to reveal a black vest that cinched at Alastor’s waist and made his chest look more prominent. Somehow, this made Alastor’s waist look even tinier. More grabbable. His coat was free from its usual tatters and was slightly shorter than his usual getup, making the deer’s legs seem longer than before. Gosh. Alastor sure was tall…

All of Lucifer’s previous worries melted away as his eyes beheld Alastor’s beauty. He was stunning.

Alastor held out his arm for Lucifer to take, “Shall we?”

Lucifer caressed Alastor’s arm before he took it in his own, ignoring how Alastor’s eyes twitched at this. He took a step forward and nearly tripped, “Gah!”

Alastor kept him from falling face first onto the ground. Lucifer looked down to see what he’d tripped over. It was Frank.

Frank rolled around on the ground before looking up at the two and going, “Ooohh!” then scurrying off. Lucifer would have to worry about what that meant later. He had a date to enjoy.

The hotel doors slammed open to Lucifer’s kick. He laughed jovially as he guided Alastor inside. That date was anything but romantic, but it sure was fun. Alastor had refused any form of romantic gestures, which bummed Lucifer out a bit, but he made up for it with his personality. Turns out Alastor was really good at unknowingly flirting with people. It got worse the drunker Alastor got.

And they were both very, very, exceptionally drunk.

“Are you a traffic jam? Because you’re driving me crazy!” Lucifer belted out, clinging to Alastor’s arms.

“Ha hahaha!” Alastor laughed, attempting to pull his arms away, but failing. He was too drunk to make much of an effort.

Tonight was amazing. It didn’t even bother Lucifer to see the rest of the hotel crew standing in the lobby, looking at them like they were nutcases.

“See? I told you the clown and the red man were going on a date!” Frank pointed at them, his goofy voice bellowing through the room.

“Holy shit,” was all that could be said.

Lucifer pulled Alastor closer to him. The ‘red man’ struggled to pull away, but Lucifer was stronger. He just held him for a minute before giving in to Alastor’s desire to be separated and letting him go.

Everything was perfect. He just needed another date. And maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he didn’t care if that meant giving Alastor a second favor.

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allastoredeer · 29 days

Note

Would you have any bottom Alastor fanfics to suggest? Ever since I came across your blog I’ve been hyper fixated on that idea but I can’t seem to find any

Surely!

I only just realized I have a total of 15 Hazbin fics bookmarked on AO3 😅 but I have a lot in my "Marked for Later" tab, and I'm sure I'll come across more bottom!Alastor fics there when I get around to going through it.

Of course, look over the tags before reading these fics, some of them are more explicit than others.

Here are the ones I've read and enjoyed:

Unhealthy Attachments by Keelywolfe (RadioApple)

Lucifer never thought to ask before what Alastor got out of having sex with him. Probably won't regret asking, right?

Right?

(Post Season Finale)

<><>

A Failure of Business Negotiation by Drowsy_Salamander (RadioStatic)

It began, as many things did for Alastor, out of curiosity. A tryst with Vox to decide whether sex was worth the hype, a neat and simple dynamic on Alastor's end. However, Vox clearly developed other ideas about what was going on and thus proceeded to utterly ruin everything between them by proposing a formal alliance.

... Alternatively: how Vox and Alastor became exes without ever dating

(NOTE: The smut is more alluded to than explicitly written, but I really enjoyed a deep dive into Alastor's brain and his thoughts surrounding sex. It was very enjoyable to read).

<><><>

601 by ChildishSadism (RadioStatic)

Humans aren't aware that the dark desires in their hearts give demons a clear path to earth. A soul in hell can be tasty but a pure soul from the human world was a delicacy that many demons fought for. Vox enjoyed indulging in this pleasure once in a while, it made his teeth feel sharper and his claws deathlier.

It was such a shame that maybe, he should have kept an eye around in case someone else was ready to steal his meal.

or Vox possesses a priest to try to harvest more souls and Alastor possesses a nun to steal his catch.

(REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS)

<><><>

Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship by Keelywolfe (RadioApple)

(NOTE: This one is actually a series. I haven't finished it yet, but it has a lot of yummy bottom!Alastor content)

<><><>

Time to Dance by voland_xx (RadioStatic)

Building a time machine is never a good idea, especially when you’re in Hell.

Sir Pentious’s newest “invention” shocks the residents of Hazbin Hotel (+1) back into their human forms. Alastor and Vox navigate this new adjustment.

or, a demon gets voraciously, hungrily obsessed with a pretty man. What’s new.

<><><>

A Poison for Lust by MatcHoMetriC (Alestial - Alastor x Zestial)

Zestial & Alastor do some 'experimentation' on how the Vee's love potion actually works

<><><>

These are all the ones I have right now, but I'm sure I have a more squirreled away in my Marked for Later tab. If you're looking for more bottom!Alastor I definitely recommend looking through the bottom!Alastor tag! <- I actually just barely glanced through it and found one that looks very interesting, this is this one, if anyone is interested:

Devil's Threeway by Mixkarules18

All Alastor was trying to do was fetch Lucifer for Charlie. It was simple, nothing should have come from it.

However, the Overlord sees something that no one else was meant to and Lucifer decides to have a little fun with him.

Or alternatively:

Two Lucifer’s, one hole

(Tell me that doesn't sound like a fantastic read! I'll be sitting down to give it a looksie right after I post this LOL)

If anyone else has a bottom!Alastor fics they'd like to recommend, send them my way! I have a mighty need

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