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naeviskz · 4 months

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“ PRETTY , PLEASE ” ๑‧˚₊ ─── FLX

synopsis ; you think your roommate is really pretty, but you think he’s even prettier when he whines and begs for you.

genre 숌 virgin!felix x fuckgirl!reader | roommates AU

words - 4.0k+ tags/warnings 숌 fluff, pwp, smut, (slight age difference: felix is 23/reader is 25), sub!felix/dom!reader, noona kink?, perv!lix, oral (m), solo masturbation, corruption kink, edging, dacryphilia, rlly cute & soft ending tho <3

☆ 彡

Have you ever met someone so pure and innocent that you feel the need to shield them from any and all bad influences that might corrupt them?

Those were your exact thoughts when you first locked eyes with your new roommate Felix. You thought he was the most precious little bean ever ;( His shy, timid nature made you want to coddle him like a baby, and always spoke in such a polite, well-mannered tone due to you being his senior. At first Felix didn’t talk very much when he moved in and was constantly cooped up in his room doing god knows what, but eventually he’d warm up to you and the two of you soon became really good friends.

You don’t particularly like most men, you tend to get annoyed with them easily, only using them for a quick fuck because that’s all they’re good for. Personally, you didn’t care to start getting serious with anyone at the moment, prioritizing work and other future goals instead of boys who come and go. Felix was quite literally the only exception to this. You genuinely enjoyed his company and valued him as more than a friend, he was so easy to talk to and could make anyone in a room feel comfortable with his presence.

You loved how he never made a fuss about chores when you didn’t feel like doing them. He was never rude or brought strangers over, and he kept to himself most of the time— the perfect roommate ever. Felix was studying biology at school to become a veterinarian as he’s told you many times he loves animals before. You were already out of school by now, as you graduated 2 years ago but you didn’t mind living with someone a couple years younger. He’s very mature for being in his early twenties, even more than some of the 30+ year old “men” you’ve slept with in the past.

One thing you’ve noticed since he’s always keeping to himself, he takes his schooling very serious and constantly studies. He never drinks, smokes, or goes out to parties, but he doesn’t act better than anyone either, it’s just how he is. You’ve never seen someone so dedicated to their work, wondering in the back of your mind if he even knows what taking a break means. You’ve tried getting to invite him out to other social events but he would always say that studying was far more important, you seriously never seen someone be so obsessed with school. Before you graduated, you weren’t a straight A student by any means but you did care about your grades, overall you still managed to balance a social life within.

Felix was never the judgmental type, he didn’t care if you brought a lot of friends over or the occasional hook up you’d have, he would just turn a blind eye to most of those things. You didn’t think it’d ever impact the way you both interacted but unfortunately after a while things have started to get a bit awkward between you. He’s been awfully more quiet these days and whenever you two would walk by in passing he could barely even look at you. Any time he did, it was if he’d seen a ghost or something— the way his face went pale from being drained of all color and would immediately hurry back into his room.

You don’t know what’s up with him but the more he’s been treating you this way the more you feel like he doesn’t seem to like you very much anymore. This weekend you plan to have a quick chat with him about everything and to clear up some potential misunderstandings. Little do you know the real reason why he’s been keeping his distance from afar…

God he feels like such a creep for eavesdropping on you having sex with someone else right now.

It wasn’t supposed to end up this way, he simply walked past your door without a second thought but as he came closer he heard what is presumably you moaning out another guy’s name. That’s when it piques his curiosity to listen further, he’s only heard this type of stuff from watching porn but it’s a whole different experience when in real life. He should feel more than embarrassed about doing this, ashamed for invading his roommates privacy in such a horrid way but he doesn’t move. Only continuing to press his ear up against the mahogany door, getting a clearer sound of your wanton moans, feeling something shift.. a familiar throbbing sensation causes the sudden constriction in his pants.

He’s far too gone to even think about stopping at this point, subconsciously dragging his hand further down as he comes in contact with his hardened cock. All he could hear was skin slapping, imagining you bent over the bed while taking it from behind, arching your back as you pant louder for them to go faster and faster. Felix continues to feel himself through the constraints of his clothing but it wasn’t enough for him, it wasn’t enough to alleviate the discomfort down there. So he ends up going back to his room to finish his little fap sesh, ridding himself of everything, t-shirt, sweats, boxers— ready to finish what he accidentally started.

“___, please..” he’d stir in his bed, going to town on his cock as he pumps his hand around it, thinking about you on top of him. “Noona.. m’so close…” he whimpers out desperately, feeling so overly sensitive that his body’s buzzing with pleasure.

Felix was so overwhelmed in his thoughts he barely noticed the precum leaking out and spilling around his small hand, his eyes were completely shut and zoned out in utter bliss. He wishes nothing more than to have you doing this to him instead, wondering what it’s like to have a girl as hot as you jerk his cock for him, he’s never experienced what it’s like but he’d want you to be his first if he ever does. It frustrates him that he can’t have you in the same way those other guys do, they’re more experienced and can please you better than he could.

One thing he knows now is that he’ll never be able to look at you normally again after doing all of this.

Things just couldn’t get any worse for him at this point. He’s now found a pair of your underwear which has mistakenly ended up in his laundry somehow. He didn’t do know what to do … if he tells you it accidentally got mixed in with his stuff then you’ll probably accuse him of stealing them as an excuse. Plus he didn’t want to face the embarrassment of even handing these back to you. It was a really pretty pair too, a red lace thong with black trim and a cute satin bow on the front. He wonders how your ass would look in these panties, secretly getting so jealous of all your hook ups and how they’ve all got to see you naked.

Felix decides the best course of action is to quickly return them in your room before you finish showering. He’ll simply sneak into your room, put them back in your underwear drawer, and he won’t have to think about it again, this was going to be the easiest plan of execution. Boy could he have been any more wrong. He couldn’t find which drawer they were supposed to be in, essentially wasting more and more time trying to find where to stash them. He honestly could’ve hid them anywhere but he was paranoid about that seeming suspicious too. Then he just considers possibly keeping them for himself. Playing with the fabric in his hands as he thinks of the idea to jerk his cock with your underwear wrapped around it. If only you knew the things he wanted you to do to him..

“What’re you doing in my room Lixie?” You question your roommate’s intentions as you walk in from getting out in the shower. You catch him holding something in his hands but quickly stuffs the object away in his pockets.

Fuck he’s totally screwed. There’s no going back from this now.

“Uh- nothing! I was just about to leave actually-” just as he attempts to make a run for it, he turns around and comes face to face with you in just a bath towel.

He’s legitimately gone crazy now, stopping dead in his tracks to gawk at your beauty. You exude high levels of sex appeal without even trying, it’s almost intimidating being in the same room as you. Felix thought you look absolutely gorgeous in your natural state, noticing the fresh water droplets still glistening on your skin and wet strands of hair sticking to your face. He really wants to know what’s underneath that singular layer, sensing another uncomfortable situation down there.

“Don’t be silly Lix, you looked like you were looking for something. What’re you holding?” You continue asking but he refuses to give any solid answers, telling you over and over how it’s “nothing” and he wasn’t lying but something didn’t seem right about his behavior.

You saw he put something in his pocket from earlier, so without a second thought you reach into that same pocket to grab whatever was in there. Everything happened so fast Felix didn’t even have time to process what was going on, mortified when he sees you pulling out a pair of your underwear from his sweatpants.

“Why do you have these?” Your expression was stone cold, you genuinely looked pissed off and it was starting to frighten him. He didn’t think you’d actually be upset about this but now he wishes he had just hid it somewhere randomly.

“It’s not what it looks like ___, you’ve got the wrong idea!”

“No I definitely know what’s going on here. Didn’t ever really take you as the type to be such a perv,” you chuckle at his horrible attempt in making any excuses. Coming closer to him now, placing both palms on his shoulders, you get all the way up to his ear and whisper, “I like perverts though ‘cause I’m one too.”

His face burned a crimson shade, growing flustered at your sudden dirty confession. The only thing he could do was gulp out of nervousness, even more worried if you discover the massive hard on he’s sporting in his pants. A subtle smirk forms onto your lips, debating where you should kiss and mark first but you want to take your time with someone like Felix— he’s too pretty not to. You lightly brush your lips against his neck, as if he’s so fragile and delicate, making him tremble from the sudden cool air you blow against his skin.

Felix felt his heart beating out of his chest, internally panicking at what’s soon to come. It’s not like he didn’t want any of this to happen, he’s just worried out his mind and tends to overthink everything. Those anxious thoughts were soon adjourned with a pair of soft lips against his trembling ones, eyes bulging out from the sudden shock of your actions. He stood there awkwardly for a bit as he’s never kissed someone before, he doesn’t know how he should react but he mimics your movements. You deepen the kiss even further, gently caressing the side of his face into your palm— his body was so stiff it made you feel self conscious about you making the first move. He was kissing you back but it didn’t feel like there was any emotion behind it, everything he’s doing seems so robotic and manufactured. You’re starting to think he may not actually be enjoying this.

“Something wrong?” You cautiously pull away to voice concern, regretting everything if he’s uncomfortable by your advances.

He mentally curses himself, feeling more upset at you thinking you’re the problem. “N-no… you’re perfect. This is perfect, it’s just- I’ve never done it before..” His voice trails off towards the end, embarrassed by his lack of experience.

“You’ve never had sex before?” You blink in confusion, it was seemingly impossible for someone as attractive as Felix to have never had a single sexual encounter in his life. However, you’d be more than happy to change that.

“No.” He shook his head, frowning at his sad revelation that he’s a 23 year old virgin.

“Awee, s’cute. I get to be your first!” You couldn’t help but find that to be so adorable, you haven’t took someone’s virginity since freshman year of college, it excites you all over again.

He’s seemingly surprised by the way you respond, “You’re not put off by that?” Most girls in your position wouldn’t want to deal with someone like him. He needs to be trained, taught exactly how to please a woman the way she needs to— which you’re more than capable of doing.

“No, why would I be?” It’s not everyday you hear a guy as handsome as Felix say that they’re a virgin, it intrigues you in some capacity. You want him to become your cute little plaything, someone only you can corrupt exactly the way you want.

“So you’ve never pleasured another girl before? Like not even fingering?” You delve deeper with more questions, wanting to know everything he’s done or hasn’t.

He shook his head yet again, “no, I’ve never done anything.”

This was unlike anything you’ve seen before, at least the other guys you knew who were virgins had actually done a few other things but this was new for you. The fact he was able to confide in you with something so personal made you want to be his first so badly. Maybe this was perfect— you were way more experienced than him so you can show him the ropes, how it’s really done. You express to him that it’s okay he was inexperienced, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and he’s in good hands now.

“What if I don’t do it right?” Felix looks so worried, his adam’s apple bobbed each time he nervously swallowed.

“You won’t because I’m here,” you reassure him by placing an affectionate hand on his shoulder, flashing a warm smile. “I’ll show you how to, don’t be shy it’s fine baby. Just lye back on the bed and I’ll take care of you pretty.”

He did everything he was told, all instructed by you. Lying down on the bed with his back against your pink silk pillow, the black tee he wore slightly rode up, causing you to get a glimpse of his tummy. It was too cute not to touch, your nimble fingers travel up his waist to raise his shirt higher, feeling up his lower body.

Felix felt so powerless as you hover over his frame, both your legs on either side of his, enclosing him in such a tight space. Taking slow, deep exhales, he grows more tense as you slide your hands north, it’s a whole new sensation he’s never felt before. His breath hitched at you suddenly coming in contact with his nipple, brushing over it ever so slightly to elicit a subtle reaction. You love how sensitive he’s become to any minor touch you provide, feeling your arousal leak further down to your thighs as you think of turning him into your personal slut.

“Should I take this off?” You suddenly propose an idea, referring to the bath towel that was hanging on you by a thread. It was seemingly already coming undone as you didn’t tie the front properly, he was able to get a good view of your chest peaking out at the top.

“Mhmm..” Felix hums in sexual frustration, unable to get a clear word or sentence out in any possible way.

You oblige, biting your lip seductively at him as you reach to untie the loose knot, slowly prying the towel off your body that’s now completely dry. “Let’s start off with something easy,” you carefully suggest, traveling your hands down to the band of his gray joggers, lightly tugging them down to reveal his boxer briefs.

The tiny, blond, freckled boy is staring up at you with his big bambi eyes, he can’t believe there’s a naked girl on top of him while he’s still partially fully clothed. All the blood surges to his cock, making him so painfully hard he’s never been so desperate for someone to touch him in his life. Hips bucking into nothing as he humps the air for any stimulation, you couldn’t prevent the giggle that escaped your mouth. Finding him to be so utterly pathetic.

You lean in to kiss him again, never quite getting enough of the yummy taste of him. Tracing your index finger over the outline of his bulge, you feel him pulse underneath as you keep teasing him with more light touches. He could feel you smiling into the kiss, biting down on his lower lip as your free hand gets tangled in his platinum locks. You eventually sprung his cock freely out the constraints of his briefs, watching it stick straight up from being so unbelievably hard. His cock was gorgeous, about 6 inches in length and 2.5” thick, his tip was an angry, ruby red but the rest a blush pink color. Your fingers laced around his shaft, getting closer to spit directly on it before giving him a few moderate pumps. Felix threw his head back slightly, gripping the bedsheets in utmost pleasure, whimpering loudly as he ruts his hips to match the movements of your hand. Unable to hold back from just how good you’re making him feel he calls your name out again and again. His deep voice only gets raspier, a beautifully stark contrast to his angelic face being stuck in euphoria. As your pace increases he only gets more vocal, panting heavily while begging to cum as his jaw slacks wide open. Flashes of white invade his vision, everything around him becomes to fade into a blur. That’s when it all gets abruptly ripped away from him, soon as your hand withdraws his cock he opens his eyes again. His lips quivered in devastation, feeling as though he could cry from this.

“W-why’d you stop?” He whines out of frustration, wanting so badly to cum all over your hand.

The sight of him made you so incredibly turned on. Obsessed with the mess you’ve created so far, his flushed, rosy cheeks with drool seeping down his chin, his precum has leaked out everywhere.

You don’t answer, only chuckling at his misery. It’s fun to play with him, see how far you can push him in getting to do whatever you want.

“Want me to suck your cock, hmm? Say pretty please and I’ll make you feel so good.” Never breaking eye contact as you say it, getting off on the fact you have all the control and he’s totally helpless in your hold.

Felix is reluctant to speak at first, but he chokes up the courage to stutter out a plea, “P-pretty please.. Noona please...” lifting his hips just to feel something— you aggressively force them back down with your hand.

A devilish smirk forms across your face, you didn’t know he was the type to call you that. You want to reward him even more but only if he can be good and does everything exactly your way.

“Don’t cum ‘til I say you can. Got it?” You flash a look that’s anything but merciful, getting a rush from this dominant role you happen to take on surprisingly well.

He nods obediently, understanding what the consequences may be if he doesn’t listen. He wants to try his best to please you in any way he can, it’s the least he can do when you’re the one doing most of the work.

Wrapping your lips around his tip, you feel him twitch instantly inside your mouth, opening just a bit to swirl your tongue along his member. His cock feels slightly sore from being edged once before, gasping when he feels the plushness of your lips on him. Sinking further down, you fully take his length in your mouth now, head bobbing up and down to get the entirety of his cock down your throat. Felix couldn’t move, think, let alone breathe properly— he’s so far gone that the only thing consuming his mind is you.

“Like getting your cock sucked baby?” You coo, bringing your hand to gently caress his balls, making him cry out even more.

He only frantically nods in response, too weak and too lost in the feeling to speak, “Mmm…” he mumbles, he’s so close but he can’t cum, he has to resist the urge but it’s so difficult. There’s no way he’s going to be able to keep this up for much longer.

“Use your words Lixie,” suddenly pulling away from his balls, “or else I’m going to stop again.”

He’s back to being whiny again, not wanting to be edged so cruelly like last time, he finally chokes out a reply, “Y-yes.. I love it.”

You really love the way he sounds, you could listen to him like this all day. Back to what you were doing previously, your mouth completely takes him in, lashes fluttering up at him while you’re doing the most unholy act there is. His brain goes fuzzy as he can’t get over how amazing this feels, broken moans escaping his throat from the warmth of your tongue enveloping his cock. Humming around him in response to his constant throbbing, Felix hisses from the vibrations throughout his body. He’s trembling with so many nerves hitting all once, it’s all so new to him; this might just be the most intense feeling he’s ever had.

“Nggh… gonna cum- can’t hold it anymore..” he meekly warns, tears roll down his face as it begins to be too much for him to bear.

You decide to let him this time, feeling a little sense of sympathy for a cutie pie like him. There’s always next time you can edge him and break him down until he babbles and cries even harder. Your core aches just thinking about all the fantasies you’ll bring to life soon, it’ll never be a boring day from now on.

“Go ahead baby, cum in my mouth,” you urge him to finish by going faster, sucking him off like your life depends on it.

He can feel the coil in his stomach tightening, pushing him to the edge as he’s thrashing around the bed, moaning and crying out all types of profanities. The last words he spoke before he came was pure gibberish, too busy focusing on his release shooting out— he lulls his head back into the pillow from exhaustion. He doesn’t think he’s ever came that hard in his entire life. His eyes rolled back as you greedily swallow his cum, still continuing to suck like he wasn’t mewling for you to stop. More of his load comes out as you keep going, milking every last drop of him until he’s all drained out and empty.

Finally letting go of his cock, you pull away as you make a loud ‘pop’ with your mouth, a thin string of saliva still connecting you to his crotch.

“You did so good for me Lixie,” you praise sweetly, coming up to kiss his pouty lips after you’d just sucked him dry. He kisses back immediately, getting a taste of his release on your tongue, “c’mere puppy,” you motion him to come along once you pull away.

He’s not sure what you have in mind but he follows anyway, blindly letting you boss him around at this point. Felix enjoys every second of it though, you may have unlocked something he never knew he needed.

Your hands run over his shoulders, “How ‘bout we run you a bath, yeah?” Your voice is as low and gentle as a whisper, sounding as though you didn’t just do those unspeakable things minutes ago. He’s more at ease you’ve turned into a sweeter, more compassionate version of yourself now, “I think my precious baby deserves it.”

- 完 ︎♡︎

#felix smut #felix x female reader #felix x reader #skz smut #skz x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids x female reader #skz x female reader #felix scenarios #sub!felix #felix drabbles #skz drabbles #skz scenarios #skz imagines #felix imagines #skz fluff #lee felix smut #lee felix x reader

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zeephyre · 4 months

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CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 85 SPOILERS

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND YALL

Where do I even ??? start ???

I haven't been posting c3 as the episodes dropped in...a while actually, like right before they went to the feywild. i have many thoughts and many feelings about so many things that have happened since then and I'll summarise them so I can get to THIS episode.

fearne and ashton - love their shard powers, they're literally royalty and terrifying, and i want them to make-out. i can't wait to see them go full primordial again in a real combat situation.

imogen - save her. literally save her. free her, even. i love everything about the call of ruidus when it comes to imogen on a narrative standpoint, but...God I get so worried that we're gonna lose her. I don't mean she's gonna betray the hells, but...ruidus could take her and then i would simply perish.

laudna - before i really get into wtf went down this episode with her and she who must not be named, i gotta say... im worried. very very worried. however, that fireball was objectively the best shit ever.

fcg - i can't even really remember anything stand out abt fcg except what Sam pulled last night so.

chetney - still the heart of the team, still my baby girl, still my favourite. love him to bits.

orym - i think laudna is going to beat his ass one of these days and im... even more concerned about that after this episode. his nana morri powers are cool as fuck tho... does that make him a warlock now? i know he isn't multi-classing but wouldn't that be cool

ANYWAY WE'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON AND WE GOT MOON LORE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY THEN FUN THEN SHITTY THEN FUN AGAIN THEN REALLY FUCKING SAD THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT AGAIN.

the moment imogen reached out to ruidus and matt mentioned that she could sense where other ruidusborn were i fucking knew that otohan was high tailing it in their direction, and i thought they instinctively knew that too but they probably got so distracted.

we were travelling for hours and had a huge fight that almost got them captured (not to be confused with the OTHER two fights that almost got them captured) and I was begging and screaming and crying for them to get a long rest safely hidden away AND THEN THEY SPLIT THE PARTY WITH BARELY ANY SPELL SLOTS OR HIT POINTS AFTER BEING DRAINED FROM ANOTHER BATTLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM

(Sidenote, the willmaster really opened up the door to the further increase in moral pondering in a certain number of hellians. i do think using the harness is disgusting and hypocritical, but i don't condemn them for it, it just...makes me wanna vomit thinking abt what ludinus did with it. not to mention the HUNGER parallels between laudna and ludinus...its just not good yall. also??? objectively funny that fcg seemed weirded out by the idea of killing the willmaster, not just with the harness but in general, considering how many people they've killed up to this point)

idk if its just the inherent terror that an evil old hot lady can inspire that makes otohan so much more terrifying to me than ludinus. like, objectively, ludinus is a worse threat and could wipe them out EASILY but jesus otohan is like the damn reaper to me. it's the trauma from the laudna, fearne, orym massacre mixed with the underlying little drop from their uthodurn romp that let us know that resurrection spells are NOT working and idk if that got fixed bc of time passing or distance from the leylines but i really did not want to test that shit out in real time

thank...god that sam riegel is a damn genius player, that banishment of fcg and fearne was the ONLY reason fcg survived. and thank GOD FOR KEYLETH BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLOUD SPELL BELLS HELLS WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEAD RN.

God, "otohan has us. run." is going to haunt me just as much, if not more than the almost tpk. it just...shot me straight back to bassuras and the plan to run that just...immediately fell apart.

god fcg truly could have died there. and fearne would be captured. i know the hells would be too stupid and too brave and too loyal to leave fearne with otohan in their cloud form but can you imagine a world where fcg was gone, fearne was captured and the hells had to switch from recon to rescue... itd be stressful but pretty fun.

thankfully it didn't come to that and some good came from the shit.

ruidus is so beautiful. i was worried they'd end being trapped under ruidus while they explored (not that I wasn't on board with the detours, I wish this wasn't a time sensitive mission), but matt's imagery of the fossilized elven structure and garden made me sad but also happy that we got to see it.

i cannot believe that the stupid plan to shove fearne up a water hole happened AGAIN and it ended up with us FINDING A BACK HOLE TO RUIDUS GOD I LOVE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE MATT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. WHERE EVEN ARE THEY??? IS IT EVEN EXANDRIA???? WHAT DO WE DO IF IT IS EXANDRIA??? WHERE DID THIS HOLE EVEN COME FROM???? DOES IT CLOSE AND REOPEN??? IS IT STAGNANT?????? IS IT FUCKING STABLE?!?!?!?!?!

God...we could go back to keyleth and the others and actually invade ruidus without encountering the ruby vanguard. (that's if they're alright because otohan did go out onto the battlefield and we don't know what fhe fuck she did when the illusion fell through)

GOD. IS IT THURSDAY YET??? WE HAVENT EVEN FOUND THE RESISTANCE????

#critical role #cr3 #bells hells #critical role campaign 3 #c3 #critical role c3 #critical role spoilers #imogen temult #ashton greymoore #cr laudna #laudna #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea #fcg critical role #cr spoilers #fearne calloway #c3 e85 #cr3 ep85

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bolithesenate · 2 months

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Hi! For some reason it wont let me ask from the blog I want it to, which is why the random name, but I really love your stuff! Quick question - what do you think would he Dooku/Sifo Dyas/Jocasta/Jaster’s main rule(s) for Padawans/foundling-child-thingy?

Sorry if this is boring or smthing its just Ive decided your word on these things is law!

Thank you!!! Xxxxxxx

eyyy!! never apologize for blessing my inbox with asks! especially not about the blorbos!!

Now, I'm not entirely sure on what you mean with 'what their main rules on children' are.... but that just means my answer gets to be more elaborate.

Sifo-Dyas:

In my head he is the most child loving of the bunch. He would THRIVE on taking a Padawan and honestly I could even see him have a biological child most out of all four of them. But he bars himself from either because of his visions – since there's no telling on how they would interact with a Master/Padawan bond or smt similar he isn't willing to risk a child's wellbeing for his own desires.

That being said, he lives all the more vicariously through Dooku and Jocasta when they take Padawans. (As well as visits the Crèche any day he can) In any universe he and Jaster are a thing he definitely tries his best to be of assistance there as well, even if just as a long-distance-father. He doesn't care if someone claims it's attachment. Raising children is only good and just and if he can help in ANY capacity he will do so and you'd have to kill him first to make him stop.

(And even then his Force ghost probably would find ways to meddle)

Dooku:

Dad-in-denial-supreme.

His stuck-up ass will loudly proclaim he doesn't like children and that they are too noisy and erratic and then turn around and immediately take the next best street urchin under his wing. Provided they look at a lightsaber with even a modicum of interest.

I mean, considering the NUMEROUS apprentices he has in the different flavors of canon (Rael, Qui-Gon, Komari, Sev'rance, Grievous, Assaij, Savage) this man simply is MADE to teach.

In fact, people wiser than me (hi Jess), have famously said that he'll actually go stir-crazy if he doesnt have someone to drill in makashi.

He isn't the best at emotions, but that's what he has Sifo for. And also he WILL offer each and every one of his Padawans/Apprentices/pseudo-children a place in House Serenno's actual lineage, even if just to spite his dead father and brother. But only after they turn 18/are knighted. Whichever comes first. (similarely to Jaster, he refuses to paint any more of a target on a child's back than strictly necessary)

Jaster:

As absolutely child-loving as most Mandos are. He would have adopted many more children already if not for the target that his existence as Mand'alor paints on them.

So while he tries to find them good homes, unless he is directly responsible for them or honor bound in some other way to adopt, he might refuse to say the words (even if it pains him gravely).

In any universe where he's in a relationship with the rest of the blorbos, you better bet he sees their Padawans as his foundlings-by-extension. Even if all the Jedi WILL argue that it is not the same (except Sifo, Sifo can has and will support this interpretation of the Master-Padawan bond until his dying breath). Although, again, he might not ever make it official. Politicians have many enemies. MANDALORIAN politicians doubly so. That isn't beneficial for a child's health long-term.

In any universe where he never gets to be Mand'alor tho he has like 10 foundlings MINIMUM.

Jocasta:

Last but not least. For her, children/padawans were a very distant thought most of her life. Biological ones she would never have in my opinion – either she's infertile to begin with or she got a permanent solution to prevebt pregnancy early on.

And while she did eventually take on three Padawans (yes, Olee counts even if she was stolen from her), she always considered them more students/peers than children in the familial sense. She just isn't very maternal in any capacity, but that is fine.

While she isn't involved a lot in the child-rearing aspects of whatever kids the other three drag along, she very much IS always up for bending some rules in favor of her precious nepo-niblings. Being the Head Archivist lets you get away with quite a bit.

Especially if it ultimately benefits the kid in question academically.

I hope the answer you were looking for is in here, otherwise let me know! I'm always up for talking more about the blorbos!

#answering asks #random boli thoughts #me writing #honorable mention: seeker!sifo #because i think that suits him so beautifully #a character so desperate to secure his family and cultures future for sure would go oit there and do it himself #and i do think that he thinks of all the foundlings on his searches as a bit of his children as well #(another hc sponsored by charmwasjess so say thank you)#star wars #sifo dyas #dooku #jocasta #jaster #jaster mereel

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its-the-sa · 9 months

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Do you have any Headcanons regarding the Father of Artis Kids? Did he die? Did he abandoned them?

I could see it as a Reason why Arti left her Colony with her pups to beginn with. Either through the feeling of betrayal or being heartbroken about her partners dead. Last thing could also be a reason why Artificer literally exploded amongst the Scavs when her Pups died. Maybe her Partner died due to them as well. Tho considering how the Circle works, it would most likely be former and he just abandoned them.

i do, actually!

in my AU, he was the only slugcat in arti's colony who never treated her like a threat. though he wasn't a fighter at all-- she could have killed him easily, even by accident. but he still never showed any fear of her, and was always kind to her. so she naturally ended up becoming attached to him.

once she had her pups though, things changed.

because i imagine that in slugcat colonies, pups are raised communally. it's only when they're first born that they're cared for exclusively by the mother; once their eyes are open and they start crawling around, they're sort of adopted by everyone and raised together as a group. so everyone in the colony feels responsible for keeping all the pups safe.

of course, arti herself was an exception to this, because she was considered dangerous, she was never allowed near other pups when she was growing up.

so naturally, when she had pups of her own, the tension between her and the rest of her colony skyrocketed. they had been willing to tolerate her as long as she kept a safe distance, but the idea of her having small pups in her care made them VERY nervous. and they were all anxious to get the pups away from her to protect them.

arti reacted by keeping her pups fiercely isolated, even when they got old enough to join the colony's nursery. she didn't want them to be taken away and to grow up fearing her. the more insistent the other slugcats got about 'protecting' her pups, the more viciously arti fought to keep them away.

she got into conflict with her mate about this, too. even though he understood and sympathized with her, he knew it was bad for the pups to be isolated for so long. they needed to be allowed go out and explore and join the colony, and to grow up as proper slugcats. so he regretfully started pressuring arti to let them go, too.

eventually, it got to a point where arti knew that if she didn't give in soon, she would be separated from her pups by force and likely driven out of the colony for good.

so, she decided to take them and flee before that happened.

one night she tried to sneak away with them when everyone was asleep, but her mate knew her too well. he caught her, and tried one last time to stop her from leaving.

and... you can imagine how that went.

by the time the cycle revived him, arti and the pups were long gone, and he never tried to follow them.

#rain world #artificer #artificer redemption au #artificer angst #i left things out on purpose dont spoil them please #u know who you are

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sunset-bobby · 20 days

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a bucktommy ramble (it’s 3:30)

i’ve recently been thinking about a bucktommy break up…NOW not in i want to it to happen way

but in a how would it play out bc my brain can not comprehend someone being the bad guy

like buck wallowing tommy is okay…nope

tommy wallowing buck is okay…no that doesn’t compute either tho sometimes my brain likes this bc i love angst and buck clearly has a bigger support system than tommy does but like it comes down to who initiates it which gets complicated

like if buck breaks up with tommy it’s either tommy did something, he got scared, or feelings realizations…bc buck’s past relationships are he either gets left or he exhausted all resources before realizing it wouldn’t work out (he’s a clinger) so i can’t see him coming out of any side without the normal amount of break up angst or being absolutely crushed

tommy is weird bc i he’s mainly headcanons and context clues but from what i can tell he’s a person who puts distance when things get weird (example leaving buck at the restaurant tho he was lowkey valid) he’s a bolter…but he also shows the fuck up if he is needed/wanted and obviously i have my own hcs but i can’t see tommy breaking up with buck unless he gets in his head or buck does something and like clearly he’s not gonna come out in either of those scenarios emotionally well off

so i think that like there would be mutual angst like they’re both sad and depressed and grieving bc this relationship is important to them for different reasons anyway idk if i got my point across

TLDR: Bucktommy break up has to be either mutual or they’re both equally depressed bc my brain can’t realistically see how one of them would be less emotional than the other bc of how like impactful this relationship could be for them (this being buck’s first queer relationship, and tommy possibly looking for someone to settle down with)

also i read i really sad fic that inspired this thought bc tommy breaks up with buck and u wanna be like u dumb piece of shit like the 118 & co are except it’s in tommy’s pov so u can see like his internal headspace and ur like my poor baby

#911 abc #911 show #911 fandom #911 season 7 #911 headcanons #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buck x tommy #tommy kinard x evan buckley #bucktommy #tevan

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shychick-52 · 7 months

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Here are some Gyro (2017) headcanons I have (longish list, be warned):

After the original Tokyolk incident, young Gyro's reputation was pretty much ruined within the international scientific community, until he got hired by Scrooge (the only one to ever really give him a chance for ten years- Frank confirmed that Gyro worked for Scrooge for a decade or something, and it was stated in 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' the Tokyolk incident happened 20 years ago- so I'm not sure what he did for the first decade until Scrooge hired him, tho).

Because he's Scrooge McDuck, I definitely think Scrooge knew about the Tokyolk incident (how could he not?? Not only was it surely huge international news, but the guy's a globe-trotter extraordinaire), but was willing to give Gyro a chance because: (1) he saw amazing potential in him and his genius, and (2) he's usually on the side of the underdog and the misfit.

Scrooge promised Gyro to never tell another soul about what happened, because that was strictly his business- including Donald and Della, and the Board ofc.

Gyro always had great respect, trust, and gratitude for Scrooge for both giving him a chance and for keeping his secret.

Gyro's inventions officially started turning evil and backfiring nearly ever since the Tokyolk incident (which he always thought was the first instance of an invention of his turning evil).

After some time passed after Gyro got hired by Scrooge, Scrooge began approving of his inventions less and less, especially once Bradford and the Buzzards weaseled their way on as his Board and gained Scrooge's trust to "make good financial decisions" for his company, as stated in Gyro's debut episode 'The Great Dime Chase' (Scrooge mostly trusted the Board, but definitely argued with them about a lot of things, such as firing certain staff and cutting funding for certain other things he deemed necessary).

Eventually, Gyro strongly suspected the only reason Scrooge never fired him- since, from his perspective, he seemed to have lost faith in him for a long time (disapproving of his inventions, telling him they're crazy and dangerous like everyone else thinks, agreeing with the Board when they deny him funding)- is because he enjoys both seeing him fail and laughing at him like everyone else does; this likely deeply hurt him, because he'd thought at least Scrooge understood him, but at the same time he still couldn't help but always look to Scrooge with respect and gratitude for hiring him in the first place.

At some point, especially the more Gyro's inventions turned evil and the more his reputation continued to sink until it seemed it couldn't get any worse, Gyro just accepted and even ironically embraced his label as a mad scientist; as much as he truly resented it and it hurt, he thought if all anyone ever saw in him was a dangerous crackpot and a mad scientist, that's what they would get.

He always believed- or at least deeply feared- that his inventions turning evil meant, deep down, he was evil too; and whenever he told others his inventions weren't "all evil, just wildly misunderstood", he was referring to himself just as much, trying to convince himself of this too.

Gyro's arrogance and emotionally distancing himself from others was mostly a cover for the deep insecurities that plagued him ever since Tokyolk, a mask to convince both others and himself he's anything but a weak loser and a useless failure (I think Frank even confirmed this one on here, at least more or less).

Gyro deliberately made a point of not remembering the names of most of the people in his life (except for Scrooge, obviously, and Manny- who Frank said Gyro gave the name 'Manny', which explains why he remembers it) because he was scared of getting too close to them, or them getting too close to him- to quote Donald, "somebody always gets hurt", whether it's Gyro or the ones in his life (take the Spear of Selene incident, for example)- and also because he was terrified that if he risked letting people in, they'd see him for the failure and the monster he was even more than they likely already did.

Akita very likely always treated Gyro like a worthless failure (and it always tore at his self-esteem), so when the Tokyolk incident happened with '2-BO' and shattered the majority of the rest of his self-image, Gyro always thought his mentor was right about him after all.

@thatduckisgay

#gyro gearloose #scrooge mcduck #ducktales 2017 #ducktales #character analysis #headcanon

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notsuch · 1 year

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Wanna write Junkers but dont know Aussie shit?

Writing a Junker for non-Aussies, some shit that will make it hit just right instead of half-assing it by writing arvo and calling it done:

the outback is a conceptual area, not a physical place, you cannot put "outback" into a gps and find it, but you can drive two hours out of your city and hit it. the outback can be a green lush rainforest or the outback can be red sand deserts. the point is, it's further away from where you are now and there is fewer people. A park is not the outback, but you can go "out back" to a park to infer its distance from your house.

the most aussie thing about junker queen, junk rat and roadhog is that shirts are a suggestion, not a requirement. if we dont have to wear full tops, we don't. no, that's not just blizzard going "lets show off half naked ppl", in many towns, especially on the coast, they have to enforce a "no shirt, no shoes? no service." rule, it gets that bad.

we also constantly get skin cancer, all the time. everyone. the australian sun has more uv in it than anywhere else in the world AND I DOUBT THAT GOT BETTER WITH ALL THE FREAKING RADIATION EVERYWHERE NOW. It doesn't matter your heritage, black, white, asian, you live in australia? you're getting skin cancer.

no this still does not mean we put on shirts. you'd think that change it, but no. wrong. fuck shirts. fuck pants too. scratch shoes probably while you're at it. ow my feet are burning on the hot pavement? TOO BAD SUCK IT UP. Shorts and a tank top if you really have to push it, but a bikini top at all times is perfectly acceptable for women.

but put on a fucking hat and sunscreen, you complete buffon, what are you, a tourist, not putting on a HAT? always put on a hat. DYOU WANT TO GET SKIN CANCER, HONESTLY,,,,,, but also we suck at putting on hats, just your parents yelled at you to do it and you tell others to do it and always have a hat on hand.

shirt exceptions: if you're in sydney or melbourne. they like, have actual standards about business dress. they even wear three piece suits and shit. my soul died just thinking about it. but even then,,,,, ehhhhh, if its summer, people get /hand wobbles, vague about shirt requirements. ive watched foreign business people see what sydney calls business dress and go EVERYONE HERE IS INFORMAL so like, its more dressed up than the rest of australia, but still probably more dressed down than half the world lmao.

they're call "sydneysiders" and everywhere else takes any reason to trash talk them at every opportunity. we all hate sydney. people who have never been to sydney hate sydney. sydney hates sydney: north sydney hates west sydney, west sydney hates east sydney and so on. everyone who lives in sydney wishes they didn't. fuck sydney. if you cant think of anything to say that's neutral, you can always just slander sydney and it'll be a fairly positive-neutral conversation. i can garuntee Junkers will be sitting there shoving radiated dirt into their horrendous bullet wounds, missing fingers, barely scraping alive, living in the literal apocalypse, and especially be like MAN AT LEAST IM NOT IN SYDNEY.

we call the brits 'Poms' and americans 'Seppos'. If you are talking to a Sydneysider, you can mutually hate on both of these groups. Poms more so. We hate the English. It's not active, btw, we aren't the yanks out here having national pride about a war or something, no, its a passive, low grade, mocking tone at all times about them. Ireland, Scotland and Wales are ok tho, we like them just fine. Just the Brits.

you are not allowed to openly state something is wrong, if its actually seriously fucked up, you have to understate it. for real my own mother was in a small flight plane that had to make an emergency landing in a farmer's field and the farmer came out and said 'bit of trouble mate?' as literal smoke was spewing out of the engine block and the pilot went 'reckon she'll be right in a bit', and everyone sat around having a beer.

except for the weather, you are always, at all times, allowed to complain about the weather. its too hot. its too cold. why is it so humid, why is it so dry. "hows this weather we're having?" is a normal conversation starter to make small talk and also just kill five minutes in line at [sports venue of the choice]. I can physically hear the two fucking junkers in the line to the Scrapyard Arena being like 'man fuck this weather lately' as if it's not the 432432 day of burning hot dry desert irradiated heat that was exactly the same as the day before, and everyone will be 'no yeah bloody hell aye'

slab of beer is a defined currency once you are outside of cities. this is a 24xbeer cans. you can pay for services in beer.

when passing people, "hey" is only acceptable in busy settings, the rest of the time, we're so fucking talkative. people in cities can say 'hi', but outside its got to be the 'eyyy' 'g'day', 'hey bruz', it's always "hi, how ya going?" then a nod and response of "not bad, you?" if you have the time to answer, otherwise a nod with 'g'day gotta go' and an indication you're in a rush is perfectly acceptable. if there is time for it, this is when you go into complaining about the weather. not engaging in this process is ruder than swearing at each other.

a mad cunt and a sick cunt, are your best friends, or the dude at the party who brought the rum and you all cheer. a shit cunt is the worst person who ruined it for everyone by calling the cops because you shouldnt stick a ice box drink cooler on a lawnmower and ride it while drinking said rum. asshole.

the ice box drink is called an Esky, by the way. Not cooler. Esky.

NORTH IS HOT, ITS WHERE ALL THE CROCODILES N CASSOWARIES N SHIT ARE.

the south is cold and does actually get snow, aka the Snowy Mountains are in the south. Yes, we did name it that.

Tasmania (that one big island at the bottom lmao) is snowy and rainy and makes really good whiskey and is probably actually just fine b/c no one cares about it and is not connected to the mainland at all, they judge all "mainlanders".

THEY'RE NOT CALLED COWBOYS, THEY'RE CALLED STOCKMEN, OR JACKAROOS AND JILLAROOS.

Kangaroos are like asshole deer. You will not break them if you hit them, your car however is *completely* fucked.

WE DO NOT CALL THEM 'FARMS'. They are 'properties' or 'stations'. A 'cattle station' is an acceptable term. A sheep station. If you say 'a property' everyone knows you mean an agricultural piece of land, and that it's specifically many, many, MANY, thousands of kilometers long. If you call them farm, we instantly clock you as american or a rich city person who has a 'hobby farm'.

The person who OWNS many, many, many, many, MANY, thousands of miles of land and don't actually work it themselves, may call themselves Farmers, but the rest of us often clock them as rich fuckers because of that reason.

We are not afraid of spiders, snakes, kangaroos, jellyfish, whatever it is foreigners scream about this week, the way you think we are. We don't like them, (ok some of us do), but they just are, and we all got education lessons young about how to not be an idiot about them.

we are fucking with you, at all times, i'm an aussie and I am fucking with you right now. i can meet another aussie in a bar that i do not know, have never seen in my entire life, and make shit up on the spot to distress someone about some animal that does not exist, and the other australian without a fucking beat will IMMEDIATELY. JOIN IN. Junkrat will be tricking Brigette about the existence of Land Sharks and even if she wants to strangle him to death, Junker Queen will 100% back him on whatever the fuck he's saying.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #junkertown #junkers #junkrat #roadhog

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brokenntable · 1 year

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The Boyz as Love Tropes

I haven’t seen any posts on this so I’m giving my own two cents :)

Sangyeon

Forbidden Love! with sangyeons work ethic and his constant dedication to his group as a leader, he had no time on his mind for love and a future partner. so when he met you and you clicked almost too well, he was in great conflict with himself. he found himself wanting you more and more as time went on. he thought about you when writing songs, when he was sad all he wanted to do was see you and in his happiest moments he wanted to tell you first.

Jacob

The Boy Next Door! Jacob would be the sweetest new neighbour. he's the type that when he moves in next door he would come over to formally introduce himself. ‘my mom baked these for you, I hope you don't mind’. every now and then you’d keep bumping into each other when checking the post or coming home.

Younghoon

Soulmates! everything would be meant to be for the both of you. when you first met everything was perfect. the chemistry, the energy, your values. when you had to move away for university you were heartbroken, but five years later, you both found one another again, destiny or by chance.

Hyunjae

Right Person Wrong Time! he was like weight lifted off your shoulders when your would was crumbling down. both of your worlds were. you and Hyunjae were each others safe havens. but you both had different paths to walk and eventually, that perfect world for the both of you had to come to an end as reality hit.

Juyeon

Childhood Sweethearts! Juyeon had the biggest thing for you when you were both kids. He would give you flowers he picked on the way to school, he would tell his parents you were the one he was going to marry, making them chuckle. the only thing was that as he grew up, that never changed for him. you were still his biggest crush.

Kevin

Best Friends to Lovers! when you and Kevin first met you both instantly hit it off. you both would laugh until early hours of the morning, texting each other every day. he would comfort you at your worst and bring out your best. he knew you inside out except, he didn’t know your biggest secret. you liked Kevin far more than a friend and turns out, he also felt the same.

Chanhee

Enemies to Lovers! it would start as chanhee accidentally giving you the wrong look when you first meet, immediately making you uncomfortable. out of his own insecurities that you’ve distanced yourself from him he would then assume you don’t like him and you’d turn into enemies out of a miscommunication. eventually turning into lovers tho

Changmin

Opposites Attract! When you first met changmin through chanhee you were initially and reasonably quite weirded out by his ‘passionate’ hobbies in comparison to his bubbly personality. you also found chanhee weird for even having such a best friend. but when you got to know him more personally, you found out despite your differences, your humour aligned really well and you actually found his charms super attractive

Haknyeon

Proximity! what was haknyeon supposed to do when he realised he has to isolate with a complete stranger! you were a friend of a friend, but when you went over to his house to collect an item of hyunjaes when you both received the message you have to isolate it was a surprise to say the least. stuck for two weeks within such close proximity you began to learn each others quirks. he loved your cooking! it was the first thing he smelt in the morning and your singing in the shower would be the last thing he heard as he fell asleep

Sunwoo

Second Chance! Sunwoo really didn’t mean to break up with you the first time. he was so busy with the groups activities all the time and he was in an insecure time in his life. he worried day and night that his time spent on the group, any boy would be winning over your heart. he couldn’t give you his time and so he lashed out his insecurities on you, leading to your breakup. it was his biggest regret. in the years you spent apart, all he could do was work on becoming a better version of himself before asking for a second chance.

Eric

Fake Relationship! Eric had had enough of the teasing from the older members. he felt like he had something to prove. so when he came over to your house one evening begging you to fake a relationship with him because you were a good friend of his and he thought your were really pretty (obviously not voicing the latter aloud) how could you not agree? you already had a small crush on him and you agreed in the hopes he would like you back (he already liked you anyway :,))

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halfagone · 1 year

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Heya Halfa!

I'm watch Hercules for the first time in a while and something about it made me think about your WonderBat dcdp fic, and gave me an idea to share with you for a fic with Diana being Danny's bio mom, could be WonderBat or not, idk, I'm still very much on a Danny/Jason kick so if it's not WonderBat that's open.

But essentially Danny was adopted by the Fenton's and maybe a checkup with Frostbite has Danny realizing there's more to his powers than being a halfa, but he doesn't know what exactly? So, I'm thinking he just tells the Fentons he wants to find his bio parents, not being out as Phantom, but Idk, and i trust your thoughts.

Basically, just Hercules as inspiration, not trying to stick to its plot, tho doing Dead on Main and Jason as Meg ajfjkshda it would be quite funny

Idk, just had to share this with you, hope it brings you some of the joy the thought brought me!!

Also have a pic of my roomie's bunny

GOSH I love Disney's Hercules! Hades is an entire mood, and I love him for it. Definitely one of my fave villains ever. But now that you mention the idea...

If we did base it off on bloodlines, where Danny is taken as a child (and like Hercules was taken from his parents in the movie), then we could always make this a Super-Wonder... Wonder-Super? Superman and Wonder Woman ship, but their relationship was very brief. This was before he and Lois had gotten together and got married. And they do canonically date sometimes, and even had a child together in at least one universe, so it wouldn't be super weird.

So basically, Danny grows up a quasi-god (quarter-god? Ugh, that's confusing-) and half-Kryptonian. Except due to his life style and exposure to ectoplasm, his Kryptonian powers don't kick in like a normal half-Kryptonians would. But he does have a measure of super hearing- which gets diagnosed as another symptom of his ADHD later. And he does have freeze-breath! Which is why people aren't super surprised if they catch some cold mist coming out of his mouth when he becomes a halfa, they're pretty sure he's just always been like that?

But for one reason or another, Danny leaves Amity Park for an extended amount of time. Oh! His family takes a vacation to a beach, somewhere nice and sunny. And then Danny gets irritated about something, or maybe there's just a fly bothering him and he glares at it from a distance only to shoot red laser eyes at it and promptly freaks the fuck out. His ectoplasm has never been red before!

He runs off to Frostbite and the Far Frozen as soon as he can, begging for the yeti to help him because there must be something wrong with him! Frostbite is awfully confused at first, and then he asks Danny if he showed any other habits or behaviors before he'd become a halfa. And so Danny explains how he could hear things most people couldn't, but he'd been diagnosed as neurodivergent, and that wasn't exactly uncommon, and then he explained how technology always worked a little funny around him even before his accident and that's why his parents never thought anything was off when their inventions were wonky around him now (he doesn't realize he has lightning manipulation from his bio!mom's side, thus accidentally zapping devices every once in a while), and a handful of other things and it all culminates into this:

Frostbite is pretty sure Danny has never been fully human.

Which would thus lead Danny onto a journey of self-discovery and self-fulfillment and oh yeah, there's a ghost Minotaur that wants to rip his head off his body and they've got a hostage to go along with them. In Danny's opinion, Red Hood makes for a very poor hostage, but he's not about to tell them that either.

I could probably go on eventually, but I adore this idea, so thank you very much for sharing it! :D <3<3<3

#halfagone replies #dpxdc #dpxdc au #hercules au #i think lol

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gaylittleeddie · 1 year

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You want Soapghost asks, you get them… headcanons, share. It’s my favorite thing to ask bc we’re all so creative and I love it.

oh I used to make a whole tiktok series on this so I’m happy to oblige.

- Most ppl make Soap the picky eater but I actually think the opposite. (No hate to the ppl who do obviously). Ghost is the picky eater. Outside of missions, he’s very meticulous about what he eats. He doesn’t like certain textures and if it has a weird aftertaste he won’t eat it. Soap however, will eat anything you put in front of him like dog

- Soap has a thing for bad boys and always had. Any man that screams elusive and dangerous, he gets infatuated with. So he’s not at all surprised by his crush on Ghost. He does get surprised by him falling in love with Ghost, though. He’s had a strict no allowing himself to fall in love rule after he had joined the military, afraid of leaving someone behind. So in a way, both Soap and Ghost were each others exceptions when it comes to falling in love.

- Ghost is one clingy mf. Sometimes, if Soap is sketching something or watching tv, he’ll take the object from his hands and toss it to the side before settling onto his lap, pulling him in for a cuddling session. Soap calls it “dedicated to Simon time.” Each time the Scot just laughs lightly and hugs him tightly. This only happens when they’re alone tho.

- They try to keep their relationship a secret for as long as possible and it’s actually Rudy that ends up clocking them on it. Alejandro and Rudy had come down for a visit. Rudy took one look at them and said, “Glad to see you finally got together.” This causes both Price and Gaz to look over at them in confusion.

- Soap actually cut his hair into a Mohawk for two reasons. 1) it looked cool and his parents always told him no to it growing up. 2) he has a terrible habit of tugging at his hair aggressively when he’s stressed and had originally planned to cut it all off in a buzz cut but couldn’t fully let go of his hair. It’s harder to rip at like this.

- they are always in each others spaces. if soap is standing, you’ll find ghost pressed up behind him as he talks to someone. If ghost is somewhere you can guarantee you’ll see soap right next to him

- Ghost gets man flu. Badly. ghost whenever he’s sick and will spend the whole time complaining and latching onto Soap

- Although Soap will eat anything you put in front of him, if there’s a sudden hard object in his food or a weird crunch, he’ll convince himself it’s a bug or bones and will be unable to finish it.

- Price had caught onto Ghost’s feelings as soon as he had heard Soap switch from “Mactavish” “Sergeant” or “Soap” to “Johnny.”

- They communicate sometimes via tapping or squeezing Morse code into each others limbs. This is both on missions and when they’re around their friends. Bonus if this is what gets them together.

- Ghost tends to shut himself away and hide when he has a breakdown. Soap is always able to find him.

- Soap apologizes a lot when he’s breaking down. Ghost reassures him it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to apologize.

- Ghost is a really attentive boyfriend. He puts his all into loving Johnny, even if scares him. He tries every day to fight against his trauma that’s begging him to run and hide. When they first started nearing more than friends, Ghost tried his best to stay away but just couldn’t. He never was toxic to Soap. Just tried to emotionally and mentally distance himself by trying to spend a more normal amount of time with him where he tried to be more friendly than lowkey flirty. Nothing worked. So then he figured if he was going to do this, he’ll treat it like he treats a mission and give it his best shot at succeeding. Be the best he can be in his role. They have a very healthy relationship bc of it.

- Soap has two sisters. One older (by only a year. He was an oops baby as she loves to tell him) and one younger (by two years). His older sister has always been overprotective over him. She’s headstrong and practically helped their mother raise the two younger siblings since their father was always working. His younger sister is more on the shy side. She’s very quiet. Doesn’t defend herself much. She likes music and art and is actually a famous violin player. His older sister is a stay at home mom to two wonderful children. An elder boy and a girl. She named the girl after Soap bc she said said she reminded her so much of him as a baby. Her name is Johnna. Soap thinks it’s because she was born after he just left their house for a slightly longer leave.

- My friend hammy and I actually both have this one. Ghost likes photography. He takes pictures of his loved ones off guard with a Polaroid camera and keeps them in a fire proof box underneath his bed. He does this bc he really has nothing to remember his original family by, so he tries his best to keep memoirs of his found one. Soap takes up a majority of them.

- Sometimes if Soap isn’t paying attention to him when they’re on leave, Ghost will just straight up pick him up and haul him over his shoulder to bring him wherever he wants to go. Soap always loudly protests about this but let’s him do it anyways.

- Ghost is gay and demisexual. Soap is bi with a heavy male lean.

#I refuse to believe they’re not canocally in love #I love them so bad #I will forever make them soft #ur honor. them.#takes ur military men who’ve committed war crimes and makes them fall in love #fuck u. *softens up ur military men*#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap

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rinofwater · 6 months

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Yo, I legit want to hear your data disk theory bc I was kinda thinking the same thing? Except I figured that if they really are magnetic hard disks then they'd be even more fragile than DVDs/CDs since even a stray magnet could screw up all the data? I am but a lowly software person so I don't exactly how storage mediums work all too much lol. Also, if the old world was really DA FUTURE(tm), wouldn't their computer storage be more in SSDs than HDDs? There might be an economic reason to stick with HDDs but if their computing tech was at the level of sentient AIs and stuff they hypothetically would have the faster, more compact storage in those...

Reminds me of the deep dive I did to figure why the hell telegraphs in the My Time world are called telegraphs if they're supposedly wireless (short answer: it's probably primitive radio? i have no idea how the hell transmissions can work at distances up to cross-country tho)

Oh boy, I'm so glad you asked! I've done IT infrastructure repair work for a couple years now, and my last job actually had me working with a lot of storage servers in particular for the latter half of my job, so I have Opinions(tm) on this small detail lol. And those are all really good questions too. And hopefully I don't get too technical trying to answer it, but I make no promises (and it's DEFINITELY going to be long and rambly so bear with me)

So starting with it being The Future(tm), there are pros and cons to going HDD versus SSD versus NVMe today, but did you know that not only is tape storage still in use, but it's actually still considered a modern, practical solution to archival storage with the technology still being upgraded and developed, even right now in 2023? Archival in this case being the sort of data you need to hold onto for 20, 30, 40 years or more without a constant need to have read/write access to that data. The tape servers have a cool robot arm in them and everything to move the tape cassettes around. A lot of this technology isn't actually aging out because it has its niche, it's just being modernized to settle it more in that niche

So with HDDs versus SSDs, they are becoming fairly comparable to each other today, HDD was winning out for a long time because SSD was a lot more expensive to get ahold of at the same storage capacity as HDD. That's great from a regular end-user perspective because you can get that upgrade more practically and reap the benefits of not having to rely on physical moving parts to access your data. Swapping it out on a server level is going to be a much larger and more expensive project, though, without seeing a lot of additional benefit for going that direction. A lot of the benefits that you would see for swapping to SSD on a regular computer have already been accounted for in existing server designs for a while now, in the form of RAID technology (Redundant Array of Independent/Inexpensive Disks; fancy way of saying "get a bunch of drives to take on the work of one drive and then replace any drives that break along the way"; being able to share the data load across multiple drives improves efficiency and then you can also replace broken disks on the fly without having to worry about the integrity of the overall storage system as long as you don't sit on too many dead disks for too long)

Not to say that SSDs won't still overtake HDD eventually, as new servers are installed in datacenters and closets, they're increasingly having SSD as the supported format, but there's not a good enough benefit to rush through fading out HDD at the moment when they're still about comparable to each other and the weaknesses have largely been accounted for. And even then, there are always going to be legacy servers that get passed up for upgrades either because nobody sees a need or it's too important to the overall infrastructure or any number of reasons, at which point they're still almost definitely going to be sticking with HDDs even in The Future

So that's the long-winded justification for why I think it's plausible that there would still be large enough quantities of HDDs kicking around even in the future for them to end up in ruins of that future

As for the justification of how you'd be able to get enough usable data off of them given the notorious fragility of those disks, I chalk it up to a matter of quantity. When I was installing brand-new storage servers for a customer, one drawer could hold up to around a hundred hard drives, and there were often four or five drawers slated for install with one server. If you figure that your average HDD has about three to six platters, multiply that by 100, and then multiply that by the drawers, and then the number of identical hardware setups that are also set up around it, and that number just keeps going up by orders of magnitude. Most of those platters are absolutely going to be shattered or wiped or otherwise damaged in a way that renders them useless, and the percentage that make it out in-tact enough is going to be very small. But if you take a very small percentage of the ridiculously large number of platters you can expect to find in a datacenter (even the smaller ones) is still going to give you the chance of finding enough usable platters that you can pull something off of them. Like, we're talking millions or billions of platters just in one place, if you take .01% or .001% or even .0001% of that kind of number as your chances of finding something in tact you're still looking at a fairly decent pool of workable salvage to sort through*

(*In theory, anyway; in practice, you usually need all the platters that are associated with an HDD to be able to put the data together into something usable given the way data's distributed across them...not that it's impossible to grab information off of a single platter but it would take A LOT of extra work to figure out how to reverse engineer it into working versus having the full set. It could still be possible but that factor drags the already small percentage down even further. But then, I would be surprised if Pathea has given it NEARLY as much thought as this, so after a certain point, there's kinda just the shrugging to say "video game logic" lol...but before reaching that point I'm going to have my fun spending way too much time trying to figure out how it *could* work)

With the quantity argument, as well, you're also way more likely to see that kind of overabundance of HDD than you would DVDs or CDs; DVDs just aren't scalable in the same way, both in terms of the amount of data they can store and the amount of read/write flexibility they have. You're also a lot less likely to find the sort of information on a DVD that you would find in a storage server; DVDs are more useful for executable programs than they are for data storage, and even that purpose is superceded by a usb thumb drive a lot of the time. There wouldn't be nearly as many to account for in an apocalypse situation and that means the statistics are going to hit them much harder

Anyway, yeah, that's my nerdy ass supposition for this headcanon, thanks again for giving me an excuse to ramble on about it and I hope it makes sense lol

#mtas #my time at sandrock #mtap #my time at portia #overly technical headcanons #if you managed to read all that i just hope you know that i love you

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bennett-mikealson · 9 months

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I saw one of your mentions about Bonnie, realized I really dislike the majority of tvd fandom & why I don't bother exploring the tags outside of Bonnie centered stuff for the sole reason that she is never even discussed in detail among the majority. She's largely overlooked in these anti Delena, anti Klaroline mentions & they somehow turn it around into the same old "xyz is the real victim here". Literally saw a post were they discussed all these third tier characters like Lexi, Vicki, Rose & some other irrelevant stuff in comparison to Caroline/Elena that basically falls in line with how their plots were ignored or done terribly (even though they WEREN'T & literally had more screentime/agency than Bonnie - a main witch character who served more purpose plot wise). Its really annoying that they complain about things that are fine & don't need fixing.

They will do anything to avoid talking about anything Bonnie related other than the tired slogan "Bonnie deserved better", which always sounds like a lazy fake attempt at pretending to care. & Worse, when actual Bonnie fans discuss how to write her plots better, those said stans try to cut down any theories outside of canon & say how it's unrealistic or some other tired excuse they never give to any other characters except hers.

See that’s why I can’t stand when Stan’s say Bonnie’s a fan favorite or say she’s the most loved character bc she just started to get her hype and even then she still gets an equal amount of hate. THB looking at how ppl talk about Bonnie outside of her Stan’s to me its like looking at another version of the writers. They see her as a plot device just as much as the writers and they don’t care about her struggles nor care to understand them.

For example when Bonnie ignored Elena after her grams died everyone was all like “omg Bonnie’s such a bad friend” or would think that Bonnie was blaming Elena for Grams dying when she never said that. In the show she even told Elena that she didn’t blame her for grams death. She just wanted space from her and considering how Elena was buddy buddy with the Salvatore her distancing herself from Elena was valid. But They don’t care about how Bonnie felt seeing her friend all lovey-dovey with people who caused her pain. They say “well maybe if Bonnie didn’t beg grams to open the tomb then she wouldn’t of died” (which is not true) but if Bonnie didn’t open the tomb then the Salvatore would’ve been stuck and y’all still would’ve been hating on Bonnie.

Same thing happened when Bonnie didn’t like Damon at first. Ppl called her annoying for being rude to the Salvatore’s when Damon almost killed her and he did nothing but cause problems. But ppl wonder why Bonnie didn’t like him. Then suddenly they love her in season six when her and Damon became best friends. Then it was “oh I love this new side to Bonnie”. 🙄

Even when Bonnie didn’t deactivate the Gilbert device and Caroline became a vampire; Bonnie was distant to her and Stans acted like Bonnie’s actions were unjustified and villainized her. Even though they knew Bonnie has had nothing but negative encounters with vampires before and had suffered bc of the presence of vampires so it would make sense why she’d be guarded with Caroline. Caroline‘s mother and father reacted the same way and so did Matt when they found out she was a vampire. They say Bonnie had no right to treat Caroline rudely when she is the reason Caroline a vampire even tho Katherine is the one who killed Caroline. Yet she gets praised all the time for making Caroline a better person. They even try to use the fact that Bonnie asked Damon to give Caroline blood against her and villainize Bonnie more when her intentions in asking Damon to save Caroline were pure and Damon didn’t have to listen to her. The thing is even if Bonnie did deactivate the Gilbert device in the situation ppl still would’ve gotten hurt bc the tomb vampires were ready to attack founding family members so Bonnie still would of been hated on for not “doing her job”.

There was really no winning for Bonnie at all. They just want her to do what needed to be done to protect their faves then go in the shadows.

It even shows when some Stan’s write fanfictions. Them time travel stories of Bonnie messing up a spell and it pushes Elena or Caroline or both back in time with the Salvatore or the Mikealsons; She still a plot device to Stan’s.

These be the same Stan’s that claim Bonnie Stan’s be trying to make her the main character or that we’re trying to steal Elena and Caroline’s shine when we make suggestions on how the writers could have written Bonnie’s character better. And like you said they always make it seem like anything outside canon is unrealistic or “outside of Bonnie’s character” when in reality they’re just can’t stand the thought of Bonnie being with their favorite white men. Just like the writers. 🙄

Also, sorry for the late response. I just recently got into tumblr more than before. 😁

#bonnie bennett #kat graham #klonnie #vampire diaries #tvdu #anti tvd writers #anti tvd Stan’s #anti katherine pierce #anti damon salvatore #anti stefan salvatore

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trans-boytoyy · 7 months

Text

Introduction

I moved blogs from @trans-boytoy after getting flagged. I'm writing a whole new intro since many things have changed.

🔞First of all, MINORS DNI, THIS IS AN NSFW BLOG🔞

🖤Basic info about me🖤

• 19 yo

• ftm trans boy, he/him/his

• sub & bottom (switch in very rare cases)

• single and not looking for long distance relationship

• 5'2/157cm

• lives in eastern Europe and might not always have patience for yo western asses

• bisexual, aro-spec, poly/ambiamorous

• first year science major at uni

• highly introverted, autistic, and disabled (scoliosis, chronic fatigue)

🖤Kinks and stuff🖤

• submission

• collar, cuffs, restraint

• free use

• size difference

• cnc

• bondage

• choking

• impact play, bruising

• exhibitionism, voyeurism

• knifeplay, blood

• monsterfucking

• many more but currently these are the most relevant

🚫DNI🚫

• MINORS

• bigots of any kind (racism, ableism, etc)

• misgendering/detrans kink. if you interact I'm gonna report and kinkshame you

• supporters of JKR

• supporters of Israel (yes, no joke there. Israel is the reason why I have dead people all over my social medias rn so you should fuck off)

• people who are gonna misgender me or associate me with femininity in any way. instant block.

• pedos and zoophiles

🖤About the blog and how can you interact if you're not on the DNI list🖤

• this is largely a mlmasc/mlnb focused blog but all genders and sexualities are welcome as long as you respect my identity and current preferences. tho sapphic people and straight people won't really find anything interesting here.

• you might find occasional rants on here. my mental health is not the best rn, I cannot promise to be trigger free in that matter but will try to tag my rants correctly

• you can always send asks, nsfw ones too, but please be respectful!

• you can reblog original posts if the reblog button is enabled (it probably won't be with photos)

• me answering dms is not guaranteed but you can try if you want. especially if you have a specific topic to talk about. (mutuals I talk to on my previous blog are an exception ofc)

• I am NOT up for sexchat by default. if you want to get off quickly with a stranger I'm NOT your person. however, with people I'm familiar with it's not out of the question but please don't demand it of me.

I think this is it for now, thanks for reading! :)

#introduction #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #trans nsft #trans ns/fw #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #ftm sub #ftm bottom #pinned post

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highqueenofelfhame · 1 year

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idk if this is good i just wrote it and didn’t edit it IDK MAN IDK WHAT THIS IS i hope you enjoy it tho xo

rowaelin // 1820 words

It wasn’t the first time Aelin had cursed her socialite lifestyle, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last, but she really hated that a full camera crew was filming every second of Aedion and Lysandra’s wedding tonight.

Not because she didn’t want the event well documented. This footage would immortalize their love for each other in a beautiful way and there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she would never be able to watch it back and not shed a healthy amount of tears. If anything, she was grateful for that aspect of how chaotic their lives tended to be. What she wasn’t looking forward to seeing was Rowan Whitethorn’s face sneaking in and out of frame while he enjoyed the party.

Aelin could deal with everything this night threw at her, but she hated that she kept catching glimpses of the top of his silver head over everyone else’s, or that he looked unfairly delicious in a dark, forest green tuxedo that fit his frame perfectly. She hated the feeling of his gaze on her when she wasn’t looking, and she especially hated when they made eye contact from opposite sides of the dance floor.

The option to disappear completely wasn’t on the table. As maid of honor, she had duties to fulfill and knew there would be a million and one rumors about her having a falling out with Lys or Aedion. Though they laughed about all that outrageously ridiculous gossip, she refused to have that trump the day that was solely about them.

So instead of trying to make herself blend into the background or hiding in the bathroom, she had taken to being keenly aware of where Rowan was at all times so that she could easily avoid bumping into him and having to talk to him at all. So far, through the ceremony and the first leg of the reception, it was a success. Her shitty relationship drama wasn’t going to muddy up the wedding, especially when Rowan and Aedion had only recently began to speak after two years of radio silence on Aedion’s part.

Their breakup had been very public. More than one episode of the reality show that followed the scandalous lives of Orynth’s elite had featured her crying over everything she and Rowan had lost. Though she never watched the show unless she was feeling sentimental, she especially avoided the clips from that part of her life. It was a chapter she had slammed shut, and she refused to look back on any of it. Not yet, anyway.

Truthfully, Aelin didn’t like thinking about it because she always tried to look back on it with rose colored lenses. There were many nights that she lay awake, watching her ceiling fan spin in spirals while trying to avoid a mental one of her own.

It wasn’t that anything truly terrible had been the reason for their breakup. Rowan’s career simply took off and, in the process of a blooming music career, their relationship had taken the backseat. He got too busy, long distance was hard, and they had grown apart.

Except she didn’t feel like she was the one that drifted away. Even with oceans between them, she made her best efforts to show up when it mattered to him, to talk to him as much as she could despite a busy schedule of her own. And then one night while they lay in bed on a rare weekend he had free to visit her in Orynth, she’d whispered the words that shattered her heart and crushed her soul: I can’t do this anymore.

It was all too hard, too much. It felt as though they had gone from being madly in love and bordering on obsessed with each other to struggling to hold a conversation. Rowan was often exhausted from long days of travel, rehearsals, or shows. Aelin worked hard, long days between filming the show and working on her designs for the next season.

Rowan had tried to fight her on the breakup, insisting that things would get better, but neither of them could figure out the when and the how. He had begged, made promises that she knew he couldn’t keep, and swore up and down, left and right, that he would be better and more present. But after months of drifting, she couldn’t see the shore anymore. By the time she said it out loud, there was nothing he could say or do that would fix it. Aelin had made up her mind and waited until she couldn’t handle it anymore. And then she just… shut down.

It had caused a big falling out with their friend group. A few had been on his side, a few on hers. Aedion was blindly loyal to Aelin and cut ties with Rowan almost immediately after watching her slowly crumble from heartbreak. It had only been three months ago when he’d tentatively asked her how she would feel if Rowan was at the wedding.

“Aedion, it’s not about me. You used to be best friends. If you want him there, then he should be there,” she told him, squeezing his hands as she spoke. Aelin had even told him early on he should invite Rowan, something he had shot down at the time. But as time went on Aelin could see it was bothering him. That getting married without his best friend since he could walk at least in the room would leave a single piece of happiness missing on the best day of his life. Of course she had insisted he be invited. It wasn’t about her, that was the truth.

But seeing him had been more painful than she had anticipated, even five years later, and she was tired of knowing where he was in the room at any given millisecond. As she had the thought, their eyes locked across the dancefloor and she quickly turned to find anything else to do than be caught in a staring contest with the love of her life. Instead of walking away, though, she slammed into the hard body of her cousin.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” He teased, steadying her with his hands on her shoulders. Aelin conjured up one of her infamous mischievous smirks as she gestured toward the open bar.

“Where else?”

“The dance floor. You owe me a dance.” At those words, her heart softened and she patted his cheek, taking his arm and allowing him to pull her into the center of their dancing friends. A slow song that sounded vaguely familiar drifted through the speakers as they fell into a relaxed carriage, Aedion leading them in slow circles.

“Our mothers are probably weeping over this,” she joked, eyes scanning the crowd once more to where Evalin and Aerin stood arm and arm with their husbands. The matriarchs had their phones already pointed to the cousins and deep laughter rumbled from Aedion’s chest. Aelin stuck her tongue out toward the two women, her mother shooting her a flat look over the top of her phone before she let herself be swept back into the moment with the man who was so much like a brother to her. “I’m really proud of you, you know.”

“I think you’re going to take that back in about ten seconds.” As Aelin’s brows wrinkled in confusion, Aedion spun her around and– let go of her hand that was quickly caught by someone else.

The easy, relaxed posture she had with Aedion disappeared almost immediately as she scowled at him over her shoulder. He mouthed an apology, one that she mentally flushed down the toilet, and turned around to stare at the bowtie tied around Rowan’s neck.

There was no need to look up to know it was him. Aelin knew the callouses that scarred his fingers and palms, knew his warm smell of pine and snow. Her entire body was rigid while he led her in a slow dance as the song played on. Everyone around them had definitely clocked the encounter, and Aelin caught Lys smacking Aedion’s shoulder while he held his hands up defensively.

The worst part about the entire thing was how badly she wanted to relax into his body, his touch. She wanted the hand that rested on her side to slip to her exposed lower back and hold her closer. It made her want to cry, but she exhaled slowly and willed her emotions to simmer instead of breaking the dam she had so carefully built around anything that had to do with Rowan.

“I’m sorry for ambushing you,” he finally said, his thumb soothingly stroking soft circles over the bare skin of her ribs.

“I doubt that,” she replied, finally lifting her eyes to meet his. Rowan’s lips twitched like he was fighting a smile. Aelin frowned.

“I’m a little sorry,” he amended, eyes sparkling in the low, twinkling lights that surrounded them. Aelin didn’t say anything, shifting her eyes to the dark green fabric of his suit instead of the piercing green of his eyes. It maybe made her a shitty dance partner, but she couldn’t get her body to relax. Every muscle was stiff, even her fingers where they rest on his arm. Her nails were pressed into the skin of his hand where he held it, but it didn’t seem enough to push him away. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Maybe you should have told me that more often before,” she quipped, unable to keep her mouth shut. Typical.

“I should have.” Surprise must have flashed on her face, because he nodded, letting out a sigh. “I should have done a lot of things that I didn’t do, that I stopped doing. I should have tried harder.”

“I don’t want to rehash our old bullshit at Aedion’s wedding,” she said tightly, jaw clenching over every word he said. “Time and place, Rowan. I know you were never good at that, but–”

“I’m sorry.” Aelin stilled at his words, something about hearing them now threatening to break down every wall she had built where he was concerned. “For all of it, Fireheart. You deserved better than what I gave you that last year. You deserve more than that. I was young and stupid, and I’m sorry. I never meant–”

“It’s a little late for all of that, Rowan.” Aelin pulled her hand from his and stumbled out of his arms, catching the bicep of a college friend of her cousin’s to steady herself. She wouldn’t fall, not with the way Rowan had immediately caught her hips to keep that from happening.

“Ace–” He started, but she shoved his hands off of her and held up her hand to stop him.

Without another glance over her shoulder, Aelin gathered the bottom of her gown in her fist and disappeared from the dance floor with a burning hole in her heart.

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my-castles-crumbling · 5 months

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hello hello,

sorry bc this is a bit long and I got a bit carried away

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not] went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong. I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk] and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents] and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out…

also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself

so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok

Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what?

again sorry this is way too long

Hi love! First of all, I wanna give a TW to people reading:

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Okay, I'm gonna take this one section at a time:

Okay chances are you're not making it up. Thinking you're making it up is a super common symptom of guilt trips and gaslighting. If you think it happened...it probably did.

went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong.

This is NOT okay of them. They're being disrespectful.

I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk]

Uhm hi hello hi. NO. No no no. This is NOT okay. Parents do NOT tell their children about their suicidal feelings. Absolutely not. This is a classic example of parentification. You, even as a teenager, are the CHILD. You are NOT responsible for your parents, and you should not feel any sort of pressure to help with their wellbeing. Nope.

and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing

yup. parentification. You've been expected to take on the role of a parent when convenient and act like a child when convenient. this is not okay and you're absolutely right to feel weird and bad and resentful about it.

because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents]

And here's the thing: that can also be true. A lot of times, parents can both love you/be good people AND unintentionally be hurtful. But in a way, that can be even more difficult because like...how do you explain to someone who thinks they're not being hurtful that they ARE?

and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out… also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

This is what I'm saying: it's super difficult to convince someone they're being hurtful when they truly think they aren't. Trust me, my mother is the same way. But you aren't wrong for wanting to distance yourself. Also, don't compare yourself to other people. You have a DIFFERENT home life, not necessarily a better or worse one.

Don't be sorry! I guess the first thing I'd say is, all of your feelings are valid, and this sounds super difficult. I'm sorry you have to go through it <3. Here's the thing: You are right. There are some things going on in your house that aren't okay. But the reality is, your mom doesn't seem to be willing to hear your opinion about changing them. SO, where do you go from here?

I think the two major things I've had to learn with my (very similar) mother is:

Set boundaries and stick to them. If she's dumping on you and you can't handle it, tell her it's not okay. Keep politely telling her this. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing this, even if she tells you otherwise.

Take what you can get, but don't get your hopes up. Does she want to take you out to lunch? Great. She wants to hang out after school? Awesome. But don't...rely on her to be more than she is.

If you're able to do these two things in a healthy way, this might be your best bet until you turn of age and you're able to reevaluate if you want a long-term relationship or not. But honestly, if you're financially dependent on her, separating from her completely might not be the best idea if you are safe.

The ONLY thing that makes me nervous about this whole situation is your mention of your mom's suicidal thoughts, so I'll leave you with this:

if your mom is scaring you with the way she is talking, call the authorities. You are a minor, and you should NEVER have to deal with that on your own.

No matter what happens, no matter WHAT your mom does, no matter what you do or don't say/do or don't do, your mother's decisions are her own. Nothing she does is your fault.

If you feel comfortable, please DM me! I'm being genuine when I say our moms sound similar, and I would love to talk more <3

P.s. I just want to say that, you are SO smart, as a teenager, to realize that this behavior is not okay. Good for you <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #tw sui ideation

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