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dalishthunder · 11 months

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Throw a Dart at the Map (p3)

Pairing: Nebarra/LDB (gender neutral reader) Rating: Mature Words: 1133 Other info: Drunk flirting, innuendo, slight spoilers for Nebarra's name, not his full name since that hasn't been revealed, only so much as was given in his personal quest. (Also: Less steam than expected this chapter bc my heart got too sappy and soft, but next part should have it)

You sat stock still, eyes truly locking with his for perhaps the first time. At least the first time without any hindrances. Expression curious but impassive, you audibly swallowed. Nebarra lived under no false pretenses... he was no paragon of altmeri beauty... but he would have given every septim he had to know what you were thinking in that moment.

After a second or two he gave you something akin to a smile, though it... probably looked more like an awkward grimace. He really wished you would say something... anything.

But the corners of your lips turned up in a small smile back, hand reaching up to tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear. "I appreciate your trust."

Trust.

He really did trust you... didn't he....

What a silly thing.

"For what it's worth, I trust you too."

He bit back to urge to say something sarcastic, shatter this tiny, fantastical moment. "I should hope so by now."

Your smile widened a little bit and you settled back down, your hand curling around his own and tugging his arm around you. He obliged without hesitation, pulling you close, your back warm against his chest.

"It's also good to know that Gariil was wrong." You whispered after a while.

"Obviously..... How so?"

"He said you were ugly under that bucket." You let out a soft laugh... the loveliest sound he had ever heard.... "You're not, don't worry."

He really hoped you couldn't feel the little way his heart skipped.

"I know. I'm the pinnacle of perfection. He's just a jealous bastard."

"You know, I kinda figured as much," You whispered conspiratorially over your shoulder, mischievous grin in your voice. And you shifted so you could face him again... close.

Too close.

Another inch and your nose would be bumping against his, and he was sure that if that happened he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to press his luck further.

But you just... watched him, an inordinately fond expression on your face... and he could feel the way his ears flushed, warmth blossoming on his cheeks at the proximity.

"Do I have something on my face?" He asked after a moment, and you cleared your throat, immediately looking away, finding the collar of his shirt incredibly interesting.

"Sorry, I uh... Gods, this is gonna sound stupid," You chuckled awkwardly. "I was just imagining you growing up... on that farm on Auridon. Pretending to swordfight with sticks and running through the woods looking for adventure...."

"Think you've got me all figured out, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow, drumming on your hip with his fingertips. "Think you've wormed your way into my skull?"

"Ol fin krein viin, mal fahliili.*" You replied with a smirk as though he were supposed to understand it. "I told you I'd wear you down with my charm."

"So I'm supposed to find you charming? A little presumptuous there don't you think?" You pressed your forehead to his neck, and he settled his chin on top of your head.

"Nope. Not in the slightest; I'm super charming, and if you don't think so I'm gonna bite you." A little drunken giggle escaped your throat.

Nebarra licked his lips, wondering if you heard the way his heart pounded in his ribcage because Auri-El smite him down, he wanted you to bite him.

Hard.

"Careful, darling, I bite back." The threat came out little more than a purr, a dare, and it must have been the cold but he could feel a shiver roll through you.

The silence that followed was both comforting and deafening.

He almost thought you'd fallen asleep except your breathing hadn't slowed.

"Nebs?" You eventually whispered.

It was the flin. The flin and that damnable warmth in his chest.

"Cor." It escaped his throat before he even realized it, and the mortification hit him like a wave.

It wasn't the end of the world.

Cor could be short for anything.

Did you even know how many Altmeri names began with a Cor? Because he didn't and he was far too drunk to start counting them out.

You breathed out a small chuckle, "Wow... you're full of surprises tonight."

"It's not the whole thing, but I'm feeling charitable."

Silence fell over the cabin once more. His fingers fiddled with the cloth of your shirt, and after a few moments, he cleared his throat. "Were you going to say something, or did you just want to say my name?"

You shook your head, "Don't mind me. It was just something stupid and silly...."

"I already knew that much." He reveled in the little laugh that shook your body. "So what was it?"

"I was going to ask where we spent our honeymoon."

He leaned back, and you looked up as his fingers curled under your chin, eyes locking with yours. "I'd have said, 'Throw a dart at the map. The where isn't what's important because wherever you go, I'll follow.'"

You let out a shakey, breathy laugh. "Who knew Cor was such a romantic?"

"So, you're a bad parent, and you don't even know that your husband can sometimes wax poetic...?" He shook his head. tutting disappointedly. "It's a good thing you're a bit too eager to please or this marriage would never have worked out for so long."

Nebarra could practically hear the gears in your head turning before you flushed, sputtering out a quick, "Cor!"

"You'd usually call out my name with a... different inflection."

Your eyes widened.

He just gave you a wicked grin, barely trying to contain the heat of his gaze, "You were the one who brought up having a honeymoon, dear."

Maybe he had taken it just a bit too far....

This was all just a silly game.

Just....

And then you placed a hand on his chest, fingers curling into the fabric, still very visibly flustered, looking anywhere but his eyes.

"I suppose that one's on me."

He stroked your cheek with his thumb, and you leaned into his touch.

It really wasn't the only thing he wanted on you.

"You know, you seem to be having some memory problems..." He murmured; He for sure shouldn't have taken off his helmet. His nose bumped against your own, "If you'd like, I can try reminding you."

"Please." You breathed out, and it was all he needed to close the distance. Lips pressing against your own, the thoughts of this being a mistake had all but flown from his mind because you were kissing him back; Passionately.

He rolled you onto your back, following you, straddling your hips, and your fingers curled in his hair, pulling him close.

And as his tongue swiped at your lips, tasting the mead you'd had, hearing your soft moan, he wondered how it had taken so long.

*Ol fin krein viin, mal fahliili. - Of course, my little elf. (lit. As the sun shines, my little elf)

#nebarra #nebarra skyrim #skyrim #elder scrolls #thunderous applesauce #odt #throw a dart at the map

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wander-wren · 3 months

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Hey are you still updating Other Lost Things? I really love the story so far but it hasn’t updated in a bit (it’s felt like years) and I’m wondering if the Tuesday update plan has been changed and I didn’t notice.

*Frenzied jazz hands as I scamper back into my hole in the wall*

i'm SO sorry, you're right, it's been just over four weeks, which means we're due to be on chapter 7 right now....ack

i've just been in a depression funk (i think i've said two or three times that it's Definitely Fine Now Guys, Don't Worry, and that keeps being a lie, oops) and going through the process to post olt is...not streamlined, shall we say? so i was avoiding it. which i KNEW would happen if i skipped a week, but here we are.

also, while the story is done, i was doing final edits about two weeks in advance, which means that i am now two weeks behind on final edits. which is also why i've been avoiding things. but i'm working on 6 & 7 right now because why not, and in the meantime i posted two chapters for ya :3. we meet our last main character in them! fun times

now, it is 1am, but don't worry, i have nothing better to do with my time and i'm totally nocturnal anyway. i do not remember the state of chapters 6 & 7 (except i KNOW there's a bit in chapter 6 that i keep taking out and putting back in even tho my editor wants me to keep it...ugh i have to decide on that now don't i) BUT if i can get them done tonight i will post them as well in the next few hours. and then hopefully be back on normal schedule 🙏

so for real thank you for this ask friend bc i have been thinking more and more that i definitely needed to do this, but i dunno how long it would've taken me to actually get there on my own <3

#a little birdie asked me #other lost things #olt #olt updates #saw the first line of this ask in my inbox while sitting at the dining table watching hermitcraft #stared at it for a sec #and just went OKAY. WE'RE GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW #it is also rlly nice that someone cares about my littol story enough to ask after it #bc genuinely everyone told me to keep my expectations lower than low #i was fully ready for zero interest for the first couple of months. so. yay :3

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hexhomos · 1 year

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hey since reading your advice I’ve taken a small step into writing long-form fics (been writing one shots for years). the tip about writing daily while changing the font color has literally been lifechanging, I think I wrote like 10k this week.

but…

I feel like I never know when to call it on a chapter/I keep trying to write each chapter like a one shot and that’s obviously not how longer pieces of narrative fiction work. do you have any tips on keeping the mood going through a longer work or on pacing in general?

OK SO IN ONE HAND: AWESOME AWESOME I LOVE TO HEAR IT may you keep churning on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now about chapter timing. This is the part where I will admit that's difficult for me too. I'm always worried breaking up the text in chapters will lessen impact or make people forget things that came before, and I haven't really written that many chaptered fics to have Solid Formulaic Advice at this time.

What I *do* use to orient myself is picking up books (or fics, but I'd really recommend having a look at the first option whenever possible) I've enjoyed reading in the past and sampling their endchapters to see how the text is spread out. In the end, it really depends on the kind of story you're trying to do!

I err on the side of trying to make every chapter self-contained, bc that's the most interesting to me, and what I enjoy reading. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! Every chapter can have its own little emotional journey. Though if you're unsure of how to setup your chapter endings to keep returning readers, you should keep in mind 1- Hooks and 2- Unresolved tension.

The first thing that may come to your mind here are 'twist endings!' and while that's a valid tactic, I'd really recommend reeling back a little and not overusing them. Save that for the important stuff.

A 'Hook' at the end of your chapter can be as simple as your character deciding to do something risky or that involves some level of consequence (positive or negative) and the consequences of the action they took are saved for the next chapter.

An example of that is a 'Reveal' - information previously concealed from the audience is completely or partially revealed, and it is Of Some Consequence to the text that surrounds it. The consequences, again, are saved for upcoming chapters. Your character discovers they have a rash 30 minutes before the wedding! Your character notices their personal memento has gone missing! Maybe their previously peaceful day is now completely ruined, or maybe their previously AWFUL day is saved by a turn of fate; they cracked open a macguffin they found at the beginning of chapter 1 and it was a chest full of GOLD! That's a reveal.

(A `Reveal of character` also works, if it`s particularly mysterious or climatic.)

Another example is the `Twist`. This one is the trickiest and takes the most setup to work, as a proper twist end should re-contextualize events that took place before it, while still leaving unanswered questions for the future. (A twist is a kind of reveal, though not all reveals are twists. I say this just to drive home the fact that Twist Is Not The Only Proper Path)

and there are other microways to end your chapter, though that’d take a while to detail, so let’s skip to the core of it: all of the above examples are motivated by some level of 2- Unresolved Tension.

Your character wants something that they do not have/could not get? That’s Unresolved Tension. That motivates your character to keep acting up, and your audience to wonder what comes next. The thing they want/could not get can be as simple as “wanting answers” or “seeking approval” or a material objective. Make your character’s goals and frustrations smaller, don’t be over reliant on every threat being a cosmic-level nuke or what have you.

They can worry about what they’ll have to fix tomorrow. They can worry about foiled social interactions. They can worry about a deadline. ETC ETC ETC... steps taken towards these goals, or events that push your protagonist directly towards these worries - these are a great setup for unresolved tension, and can give you interesting endchapter hooks.

Going from oneshot exclusives to chaptered works will always be a challenge, since each format deals with pacing and mood in its own unique way. It also involves some level of sacrifice when you have to choose where to cut, and wonder what constitutes A Full Section. I would encourage you to be a bit more experimental while you’re trying out stuff; think of every chapter as a piece that adds to the whole, not something that needs to contain every element of your story right away. The atmosphere of longer works is inconsistent (or rotating) by design - and that’s fine!

#meta tag #resources #writing resources

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sunmoonjune · 1 year

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opening up notes bc i already know this is gonna be another chapter that serves and i need to keyboard smash all my feels

can i just start off by saying yun tapping bug's language or yun holding bug's hand or anything related to his hands has me reeling bc ive recently developed such a huge thing for them it's embarrassing aslfkdgsajg like they're so pretty it's illegal also apparently his hands are 21cm ??? like ??? my hands are probably the size of his palm someone hold me pls

im melting bug used to be so alert during her sleep she would subconsciously be waiting in fear of danger and she would rarely ever leave her good eye covered bUT NOw she's subconsciously reaching for physical contact and comfort from the boys AND THEN YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE'S ALSO COMPLETELY TRUSTING JONGHO TO PROTECT HER WHILE SHES ASLEEP OGM MY HERART

intermission to tell you just how much i love each and every single interaction that you put into each chapter bc they are such simple moments and actions that could easily be skipped over when thinking about the grand scheme of the plot but you always manage to highlight their significance in bug's journey of healing. ltm is the epitome of it's the little things in life ❤️

seeing bug curled on the floor next to san's bed was so cute but also so bittersweet. i think ateez need a new cavern where the whole floor is just bed so they can all be close and have cute puppy piles. also PLEASE HAHA not bug going 🥵🥵 seeing hongjoong's forearm muscles 💪💪 honestly though,,, same

my lack of vocab cannot express the amount of feels i got from bug finally giving captain his name symbol bc it's not even just 'hongjoong' but 'MY hongjoong' and it encompasses so many meanings like home and their heartbeats brb im ugly crying

Briefly, there’s a startling realization that they don’t change for you either. -> 👏WE👏LOVE👏CHARACTER👏DEVELOPMENT👏AND👏SELF👏LOVE 👏 i love the parallels revealed between hongjoong's and bug's past because hopefully bug can start to realise that she is also capable of displaying the scar on her face without worrying and finding love in this little family just like hongjoong has

woosan peering over the edge of the bed to look at bug and hongjoong only serves to reiterate my point that they need a nine-person mattress stat. and the way they giggled together like kids i swear they're the cutest

also my tag doesn't work idk why but it's okay bc i check your posts more religiously than i wake up for work so jks on tumblr 😎

AHHHH I LVOE YOU SO MUCH <333

the way my heart goes !!#!$!$! whenever I get a long ask after a new chapter is posted xD I love them SO MUCH <33

ok but yunho's hands are SO pretty,, I definitely have liked more than one TikTok of his hands so you're not alone xD

bug trusting jongho to guard her in her sleep <333 she really was sleeping for quite a bit of this chapter xD but that's okay, she needed it :'))

intermission to tell you that I love you SO MUCH <33 I'm so glad you guys don't mind the slow pacing with these little interactions! they might be considered filler in some stories but the slow progression is really important to me in this story :"D

also ateez should definitely just make a cave with just mattresses on the floor for one big bed xD they def need the cuddling space :}}

(and SAME bug, I too am weak for joong's forearm muscles xD)

MY hongjoong <333 crying screaming throwing up they love each other SO MUCH,, and joong's name symbol does indeed have the word for 'home' in it :") I was wondering if anyone would pick that up hehe >:D

also bug 🤝 hongjoong 🤝 zuko 🤝 having shitty father figures HAHA,, but yes bug's growing so much :")) finally beginning to realize that she is not her past and she can grow into her own person with ateez <3

woosan giggling like teenagers with crushes made me so happy I swear xD yeosang was done with their shit and just wanted to sleep HAHA

also I'm not quite sure why your tag doesn't show up :(( I've been poking around on tumblr but sometimes blog's just don't pop up when I try to tag them D: I hope I can get it sorted out tho! I'm glad that you were able to find the new chapter without it tho <3

#moonie speaks #like the moon #moonie's favs <3

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hugsforyuri · 1 year

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Forgot to post this earlier mb

Chp 3

A/n

Meows gently. Sorry if this is a little late kittens… My grandmother took a stroke and almost died. It was really silly. My irl friends also left me soz yeah. Stay alive kittens. Good christmas

Cw for panic attacks; I'll add a summary in the next chapter bc important shit happens in this one<3

Mischa climbed out of his PT cruiser. He ran his hands through his hair. He gently picked up his bag then grabbed his phone. He opened Instagram up and messaged Talia.

Mischa: Hello Talia. I am unsure if you're awake but I feel you must know that I love you. I have never cared about someone the same way I care about you. You are the light of my life. Thank you so much. Thank you for loving me. Every day as I wake up I long for the day I can be with you. So as I can hold you ever so dearly and never let you. My life's goal is to be with you. I love you.

He put his phone away and started to run to school. He noticed the time. He accidently ran into Constance. "Sorry." He said quickly then moved on. Dashing through the halls he almost missed Noel. Luckily for Mischa, Noel was wearing a bright cat jumper that is next to impossible to ignore. "YOOOOO NOEL!" He yelled at him. "Fuck me jesus christ. Hi." He said back. "Wanna walk with me?" He asked. Noel nodded. Mischa held his hand out for Noel to hold it. He looked down at Mischa's hand. He put his hand in his and walked to home room together. Holding hands.

Gonna skip to lunch

Mischa left his maths room to find Noel. He walked to the french room and saw him in the door. This teacher was notoriously strict and would not let kids break any rules. 0 rules could be broken in her class. Mischa took out his phone while he was waiting. He went to check his messages with Talia. She had left him on read. Two hours ago. Mischa felt worthless to her.

Mischa: Talia, I understand you might not want to talk to me right now but please be honest. Don't leave me on read and just say you don't wanna talk. I'm not mad at you. I'm really not. I understand it might've been an accident but still. It has upset me. I am so sorry. Like genuinely so sorry.

He questioned sending it or not. He read it over and over again yet there were next to zero errors he could find. He clicked the send button. His breathing picked up slightly. He rushed to the bathroom and bashed into a bathroom stall. He fell down to the floor. His jumper dragged up. His breathing got increasingly quicker. His vision had gotten a bit blurry and his mind was racing. All he wanted was for Talia not to hate him. No matter how many times she said he hadn't done anything or that she loved him, he would never fully believe it. His thoughts dashed around from Noel, to Talia, to everything. His eyes started to let out and he started to sob lightly. His breathing slowed slightly as he tried to focus on standing up. His legs shook as he pulled himself up. He unlocked the door and saw Noel waiting in the entrance to the bathroom. He ignored him and washed his face. Noel walked over and tapped his shoulder. "Mischa. Are you okay." It wasn't a question. He knew the answer. It was a no. He hugged him and sobbed into his shoulder. "Mischa. Did anything happen?" Mischa shook his head. "I just can't do this. I feel so worthless. I just can't…" His last words were overpowered with tears. He let out another sob. "Mischa. Take your time. I do not think you're worthless. Mischa bachinski I care about you and want you to be here. For Natilea, or whatever. She loves you Mischa." Mischa froze at the mention of Talia. "N-noel." He stuttered out. Noel's face changed. He was worried already, but this? A whole different story. "What. The. Fuck." Again Noel didn't say this as a question. "What the fuck did she do Mischa?" Mischa's mind went blank. "Nothing. She just left me on read hah." His voice was shaky. "Mischa, we're gonna skip the rest of this day and just chill out. I don't give a fuck what you say we're skipping." And with that mischa and Noel left the bathroom together, they climbed into Mischa's PT cruiser and drove off to the mall.

A/N

Im so amazing. Loveyall. If u want fr Nischa writing of mine theres some on my AO3, the AO3 acc is hugs4yuri.

#nischa #nischa fic #ride the cyclone

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albatris · 2 years

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Hi, I really enjoyed the first chapter intro for rental car :3

It gives a very concise picture of Nat’s character and also really makes you want to keep reading

I wanted to ask, is the taglist on that post the same as the regular rental car taglist or is it a different one? I’m on the rental car taglist and was a little confused that i didn’t get tagged when I saw the post on my dash. No worries if you just forgot or something I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t potentially missing any rental car content.

hi hello! aaa I'm so glad you enjoyed :D thank you so much for the kind words!!

and fjdjdks oh nooo I must have accidentally skipped over you, I'm so sorry D: it's the same taglist as usual, don't worry! you would have been tagged but I messed up lmao. I have the list written down in my notes app and I write the usernames out into a post when I need to, so occasionally I miss people bc I'm looking back and forth between pages to copy the list xD

one time I accidentally skipped my partner too and they were offended (affectionate)

but yeah my bad, I didn't mean to skip you, I'm just scatterbrained!!! I'll get ya next time for sure B) and I should probly start double-checking my taglists when I type them out ahaha

#apologies for the confusion!!

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jellifysh · 2 years

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Getting Back Into the Swing of Things (part fourteen)

Or, Namjoon falls back in love with his ex (and his boyfriends do too)

Ot7 x reader (slow burn, roommates au, fluff, period talk, the boys are very gentle with you)

A/N: the next couple chapters are going to have some time skips bc I want a certain period of time to pass before the story ends. I'd say it's been about three and a half months since the beginning of the story at this point, so it's like... early October ish rn <33 taglist is closed

Jin had a morning routine.

He would wake up before anyone left for work and cook something for them, wishing them well at work and sending them off, asking the others to set the table or wash dishes for him if they were staying home. Then he moved around, cleaned up a few things-- him and Hoseok were the neat ones, when Hoseok didn't have work, they cleaned the house together-- and then relaxed and joined the maknaes in whatever fun activity they would create between themselves.

It was one morning while cleaning, a week or two after you had been home from your beach trip with Jimin-- Jin and the other boys were stressed at first, not knowing where you were or when you had slipped away to, and then annoyed when they found out Jimin had just stolen you away-- that Jin had found you, crumpled on the floor in front of the laundry machine.

Panic struck through him immediately-- of course, it did, you were hurt-- and the pile of laundry Jin was dreading having to do was far less important than before as he dropped it all and rushed towards you.

"Y/n?" He tried to keep his voice steady, if he panicked now it would only worsen the situation. Your eyes fluttered in surprise, cheek smashed against your arm, then opened all at once, wincing as you sat yourself up.

"Jin? I'm sorry, did you need the washer?" You tried to scoot away from it to get out of his way, but he placed his hands on your shoulder, holding you still as he leveled a calm but worried look in your direction.

"I'm more worried about why you're curled up in a ball on the floor, sweet pea." He could feel his brows furrowed in concern and you looked away bashfully.

"It's no big deal, it's just, umm, my time of the month." You mumbled shyly, the last part so quiet Jin had to strain to hear it.

Jin sighed in relief. At least you weren't dying or had some sort of injury. "Why didn't you say so? Are you cramping? I have tea and pills that can help, and we have a heating pad--"

You shook your head before he even fondue his sentence, sitting up more and trying to stand, slowly. "You don't have to, I can handle it, it's not that bad--"

"It shouldn't be bad at all, come here." He lifted you into his arms, moving out of the laundry room and seeking over the pole he dropped at the door. He didn't work out as much as the others but he could manage carrying you.

"I can walk." You protested weakly, already settled into the cradle of Jin's arms.

"You won't be lifting a finger," he decreed, carrying you back to your room. If you were in enough pain to curl up on the floor, you weren't walking anywhere on his watch. He pushed open your bedroom door with his hip, noticing your bedsheets were gone as he looked into the room. "What happened to your bed, doll?"

You bit your lip, starting to talk fast and play with your fingers, obviously feeling guilty for some reason. "I'm sorry, I bled through the sheets, I was trying to wash them, but I didn't think you'd need the laundry machine today--"

Jin stopped your rambling with a finger on your lips, waiting for you to take a breath and listen to him before slowly reassuring you. "It's okay. Thank you for trying to clean up after yourself, but don't be so nervous. Periods are natural. It's not like you can control it."

You were silent for a while, blinking at him as if at a loss for words. Jin didn't think a normal statement like that deserved such a surprised reaction, but then again, life hadn't been kind to you. He couldn't imagine what you had been through if you didn't even feel comfortable to talk about your period, something natural that happens often.

"Thank you." You'd eventually said, the genuine gratitude in your tone showing how little understanding you were used to on this topic. "I've never-- I mean, people usually judge me for it." You cast your eyes to the floor, still reluctant to talk about it, and Jin placed his hand under your chin, trying not to let the hatred he felt for whoever judged you show in his eyes.

"Y/n, whoever made you feel like you can't be open about a normal experience is horrible, but I promise you can trust me to help you." He delivered, determined and sure. Unlike everyone else in your past, he was not going to let you down. Ever. As he went to go get more sheets after telling you to stay where you were, he tried not to focus on the way his blood was boiling, instead focusing on the cute way you kicked your feet as you sat politely, waiting for him like he said to. "Is there anything special you need? Like I said, we have a heating pad you could use, or are you hungry?" He fretted over you, making the bed around you and picking you up and setting you back down as he laid out each layer of sheets. Finally, after he finished, he positioned you to lay against the pillows, tucking a big fluffy blanket around you, making you feel warm and cozy.

You yawned, slowly snuggling into the sheets around you, melting under the warmth. "I am a little hungry, but--"

"Say no more, I'll make your favorite." Jin made for the door, turning back before he exited. "It'll take a while, so I'll bring you a plate of fruits and cheese. Or do you want chocolate? Nevermind, I'll bring both!" And there he went without you saying a word.

After a short while, Jin brought you a large platter of snacks, chips, pretzels, chocolate bites, cheese, fruit and then promptly exited again. Well, you weren't going to turn down a cheese cube, you thought, popping a cube of cheddar into your mouth. It was just you for a while, the sounds of Jin opening cabinets and clanking pots and pans keeping you company. You opened your laptop, using the streaming services Jin had given you access to and watching something lighthearted to keep your mood happy. Which wasn't hard. You were incredibly happy that Jin was being so caring towards you. You don't know how you expected anything less, he was always warm and helpful, and the way he knew exactly how to soothe you when you were anxious made a warmth bloom in your chest like a rose.

Earlier, when you woke up in a puddle of blood with cramps aching and stabbing at your lower abdomen, you thought he'd be upset. It didn't take a lot to notice that Jin was a particular man who like things a certain way. You were sure he wouldn't like his satin sheets with blood stained into them. You frantically searched up how to quickly get blood stains out of fabric half asleep, tearing your sheets off your bed and tossing them into the washing machine, glad the blood didn't get to the actual mattress. You weren't sure how much California King mattresses cost, but you knew you couldn't afford to replace this one. You didn't account for how much your stomach would rebel against the frantic movement, deciding to just curl up on the fluffy mat in front of the machine while waiting for the sheets to dry and for your stomach to stop stabbing you. And you especially didn't account for Jin doing laundry that same morning.

But he was kind and understanding, and he carried you to bed and made you snacks and tucked you in. Like a good boyfriend would, you thought, and then ignored the feeling in your chest that hummed at that. He isn't yours, he can't be. You laid there for a long while, lulling yourself to sleep and ignoring your thoughts.

Eventually, the door creaked open slightly, but it wasn't Jin. It was Namjoon, still in his clothes he wore to work that morning, a jean jacket over a white hoodie and a baseball cap on his head. He peeked in slightly, seeing you all swaddled in bed, and stepped in further, a plastic bag in his hand. "Hey, Jin told me you got your period, are you okay? I brought snacks," he held out the bag, filled with your favorite sweets and chips. "I know your cravings get bad. Do your hips still get sore? I can massage them for you, or maybe get one of those massage rollers Jungkook uses after he exercises?" He rattled off questions, rapid-fire, and you smiled, pulling at his arm.

"Thank you, Joonie, that's so thoughtful." You mumbled, cuddling with his arm as you wrapped your arms around it, and that's when Namjoon noticed you were half-asleep, your eyes struggling to flutter open.

"Oh!" He exclaimed in realization. Then quieter, "Oh. Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I'll go--"

"No." You said simply, a sleepy pout coming to your face as you squeezed his arm tighter.

He smiled warmly at your sleepy clinginess. "Okay, is there anything I can do for you? Can I get you anything? Jin says he wants you to stay in here, but if there's anything you need, I can go get it."

"Mm..." You started, nuzzling your cheek against his arm, eyes closed again. "I need more pads, but I can manage with what I have."

"Manage? I can just go buy more." He suggested. Why let you ration out pads when there was an easy fix? He'd gladly buy you anything you needed to be comfortable.

"No, I can't let you do that, that's weird." You muttered, half conscious.

"What is?"

"Wouldn't it be weird for you to buy me pads? My ex hated it, he said it was embarrassing." You said it matter-of-factly, like it was normal for a guy to ignore his girlfriend's need for a pad because his ego would get bruised.

"Your ex?" Namjoon tilted his head, jaw clenching. "Well, he was an asshole, I'll go buy you pads." He turned towards the for, definitely going to get you pads now.

"Nooooo," you pleaded, clinging to his arm, and he smiled again, his temper melting away at the sleepy way you blinked up at him.

"It's okay, I'll be right back." He looked to the other side of the bed, picking up a plushie that was knocked over next to your pillow, trying to get you to let go of his arm and take it instead. "Here, cuddle with this." After handing it to you, he got a better look at it. "Wait, where did you get this?"

"What, my Chimmy?" You said, happily cuddling the yellow puppy into your arms.

"Your Chimmy? That's Jimin's. He made it a while back when we were making stuffed animals as anniversary gifts. Did he give it to you?"

"I don't think so? I got this back when he didn't like me, I was crying one night and this showed up in front of my door. I tried to give it back, but a note was left with it telling me to keep it." You patted around your nightstand, you were sure the note was around somewhere. You kept it as the memory made you feel happy even now. "This one!" You handed the slip of paper of him when you found it.

Namjoon examined it for a short moment. "Yeah, no, this is Jimin's handwriting."

"Why would he give me something? He was all mean to me back then." You were puzzled, the idea of Jimin giving you something when he only recently started giving you a chance didn't click in your brain.

Namjoon placed the paper back down, explaining, "Jimin hates when people cry. Even if he doesn't necessarily like them." A small smile came to Namjoon's face as he spoke, clearly thinking about Jimin.

"Oh." You yawned again, now firmly wrapped around the Chimmy, as you drifted back to sleep again, mumbling, "He's so nice. You found such nice people, Joonie, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Y/nie." He ruffled your hair playfully and you giggled, rolling over to move away from his hand, then settled in your new position, falling asleep, eyes finally falling closed.

Walking into the kitchen, Namjoon tapped his fingers on the counter, watching Jin make food for you. Taking a deep breath, he started calmly, too calmly, "Has Y/n ever... said anything about what her ex was like?"

Jin raised an eyebrow, responding without turning towards him. "Not really. Why?"

"Apparently, he thought periods were weird." Namjoon scoffed. "I offered to buy pads for her and she said it'd be embarrassing for me because her ex thought so."

"What a jerk." Jin agreed, sliding ingredients into a pan on the stove. "You know, now that I think about it, she was really anxious about me finding out she was on her period. Maybe her ex was rude to her about it." It was an off hand suggestion, but it made Namjoon fume just thinking about it.

"Hmm." He said, jaw clenching again. The front door opened, probably Yoongi and Hoseok also on their breaks from work, summoned home by Jin asking them to pick up ingredients for your favorite food.

"Yoongi," Namjoon stops him as soon as he enters the room, the superstition that he knows something-- Yoongi always knows something-- about what you might've said about your ex in the past. "Do you know what Y/n's ex was like?"

The question was innocuous enough, a simple head shake or shrug would've Yoongi's usual answer if he really didn't know anything, but instead the man stopped in his path towards the kitchen counter for a moment, leveling Namjoon with a suspicious look.

"Why do you ask?" Not a no, so Namjoon pressed on.

"She seems to be shy about talking about her period. Said her ex thought it was weird. I was just wondering if the two were connected."

Another long look from Yoongi. "You should ask her, don't you think?" He finally said, carefully pulling the groceries out as he avoided eye contact with Namjoon. Still not denying that he knew what her ex was like.

"She wouldn't tell me if I asked. But she told you." Namjoon averted his attention to Hoseok, quietly looking back and forth between the exchange. "Isn't that right, Hoseok?"

"Yeah, she might've." The man easily admitted, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

"Hoseok." Yoongi said, warningly., tossing him a look that said 'be cautious'. Namjoon was more mature than the others, but he could still have a temper.

"It's fine, Yoon, this is Namjoon we're talking to. There's no need for all the interrogation." Hoseok said to Yoongi rolling his eyes, then turned back to Namjoon. "Her ex was an asshole, simple as that. If you think he gave her some weird trauma about periods, you're probably right, just like he gave her trauma about everything else."

"Hoseok!" Yoongi called.

"It's true!" Hoseok turned directly to Namjoon again. "If you want the absolute truth, her ex was an abusive fuck, and the fact that she has the energy to get up every day is astounding to me."

Yoongi sighed loudly, and a silence descended for a long while after Hoseok's statement until Jin cleared his throat. "Well, that confirms your suspicions." He said to Namjoon who was staring down at the counter as if doing a math equation in his head.

"Be mature about this. I'm already handling it, my lawyers are putting together a way to punish him now, but I don't want to tell the maknaes. You know how they are." Yoongi said, referring to their headstrong way of making delicate situations messy.

Jin nods, turning back to the side to busy his mind with cooking. "I just wish I knew sooner. I'd be doing way more than making her favorite meal." He turned to Namjoon, noting the weirdly long silence from him. "Joon?"

"I'm gonna go out for a jog and head back to work." The man finally said, still not meeting anyone's eyes. He walked out, shutting the front door excruciatingly softly, but Jin could still hear him slam his car door shut in the drive way.

"He took that well." Hoseok nodded, then turned towards the hallway to head to your room. "Is the patient in their room?" He joked.

"She's on her period, not dying of terminal illness." Jin rolled his eyes, picking up the spatula and going back to moving stuff around in the pan.

"With the way you're mothering her? I'm sure there's not much difference." Hoseok chuckled, moving towards your bedroom.

Whje he pushed open the door, you shifted awake again, eyes bleary with sleep as you peered up at him. "Hoseok? Where's Joonie?"

"What, am I not a good enough replacement?" He teased with a fake frown, crouching down by your bedside. You quickly shook your head, waking up more at the shock of the question.

"No, you're perfect! I mean, you're not, I just--" You frantically reassured him and he couldn't help but crack.

"Calm down, angel." He let his face break out in a smile so you could see he was joking. "I'm just teasing you."

You pouted, glaring at him with no heat behind your eyes. "No fair, I'm still sleepy." You made a show of rubbing at your eyes and he laughed.

"You're right, it's not fair. I should make it up to you, huh?" And with those words, he pulled out a stuffed animal shaped like a manatee that smelled like lavender from behind his back, your eyes lighting up and reaching out for it. "It's a plushie you can heat up. So when you get cramps, you can cuddle with something more comfy than a heating pad."

"He's beautiful. What should I name him?"

"Whatever you want."

"Mmm, I'm going to name him... Tee." You decided, gently petting it's velvet head.

"Very imaginative." He held his hand out, standing again. "I can go heat it up if you wanna try it now."

You looked up at him from under your lashes, seemingly debating something in your mind. "But... I want some company..." you began, looking away. "I've been alone all day, and you're probably warmer." You looked up at him again more pleadingly and his eyebrows both raised high in surprise.

"Oh, you want me to..?" He gestured at the bed next to you awkwardly, and you shrugged, looking down shyly.

"You don't have to... but it'd be nice."

Hoseok couldn't say no to you, not when you were asking him to cuddle with you. How crazy is that? He thought to himself. You, actually asking him to spend time with you. Hoseok remembers a time when you would've skittered away or kept to yourself. Maybe knowing they wanted you to stay with them made you bolder, more secure in your place in their lives. Hoseok had to get back to work technically, but he had more than enough time to cuddle.

He settled next you on the bed, you snuggling up to him, content. You set your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, Hoseok pulling the blankets up over you both when a knock sounded on the door.

Yoongi stood in the door way, an amused smirk on his face as he surveyed how comfy the two of had gotten. "Really, Hoseok?"

"It was her idea." He argued back quietly, but you woke anyways, seeing Yoongi in the door and making grabby hands towards him.

"C'mere." You beckoned with one word, and Yoongi easily obeyed.

"Really, Yoongi?" Hoseok countered, teasing him now and Yoongi shrugged, laying on his back next to your other side.

"I can never turn down a nap."

And after Jin came in with food, he joined as well, carefully spoon feeding you bites over Hoseok's shoulder. You really were like a pampered princess, laying in bed with people at your beck and call. When you asked, they gave you a water bottle to sip from, and when you wanted ice cream, Jin got up and brought some for you.

Another set of footsteps approached the door, Namjoon back once again, pushing it open slowly, rasing an eyebrow at the scene before him. "I leave for twenty minutes and you all end up cuddling." The men laying around you offered a shameless shrug, not the least bit embarrassed about being around you. Namjoon lifted the bag in his hand, showing it to you from his position at the foot of the bed. "I got you your pads."

You nodded, barely acknowledging them. "Come here."

"Me?"

"No, the person behind you." Jin snarked sarcastically. "Just lay down, Joon, don't make the princess wait."

Namjoon chuckled at that, moving closer to the bed. Yoongi scooted over, allowing him to take the spot between him and you. Namjoon hesitantly placed himself next to you and you pulled him closer, placing his hand on your hip.

"Massage." You commanded, settling back into Hoseok who was gently stroking through your hair now, lulling you back to sleep.

"Uh oh, she's getting bossy now." Yoongi joked, making the other men chuckle, not that you heard, already back into dreamland. Namjoon set to work, rubbing soothing circles on your hip to massage the sore spot that would always bother you on your periods.

"You gonna be okay, Joon?" Yoongi said after a while, alluding to the earlier news.

"Yeah. It already happened. The only we can do now is make her forget about it." Namjoon reasoned. He had cleared his mind earlier, taking a walk and then ended up at the convenience store and deciding to buy you pads and head back.

"And we will. She will know nothing but kindness from now on." Jin promised, picking up the empty trays and plates and setting them aside on a nightstand.

"Trust me, Joon, we were both mad when we found out. But we aren't letting it slide. We just don't want it to be a big deal. She said she didn't wanna go after him, but we're handling it anyways." Hoseok explained, looking down at your sleeping face as he spoke.

"And I'm glad. You guys are so important to her, and I'm so glad that you all get along so well." Namjoon nodded, squeezing your hip a little tighter.

"And she's important to us. And we'll make sure she knows that." Yoongi commented.

Again, the sound of footsteps echoed through the hall, the energetic pace and curious voices making it clear who was home. The door burst open, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook standing there looking betrayed.

"No fair!" Jungkook cried, only to be quieted by Jin's stern stare.

"If you wake her, you will face a fate worse then death." Jin threatened. "Now slowly and quietly close the door. And let her get rest."

"Oh, she so owes us for this." Taehyung grumbled, reluctantly shutting the door and letting the hyungs lay with you as you slept.

The next day, you felt better, cramps alleviated by the pills and tea and warm food Jin filled you up with, now refreshed and rested from all the napping before. The maknaes were giving uou the silent treatment, whining about you cuddling the hyungs and not them. You were a little embarrassed about how you asked the hyungs to cuddle with you, hormones and sleepiness making you more clingy than usual. And since you pulled all of them away from work, they all had to clock in a little earlier, going to work earlier than usual and coming back for their break later.

"Hmm," Jin hummed after washing plates from lunch. "Yoongi didn't come home to eat."

Namjoon and Hoseok had come home at twelve, tearing through the food Jin made for them and leaving again, but Yoongi never came home, only replying a 'later' to Jin's text telling him to come get food. And hours after, when the sun was starting to set, he still hadn't come home. He was okay, still responding to Jin's texts, but insisted on staying at work until he finished with his project.

"Ugh, he's gonna hole himself up forever." Jin groaned, putting down his phone.

"Can I go check on him?" You asked. Jin thought about it for a moment then, sighed, agreeing, and going to get his keys.

"I'll drop you off, I need to run some errands."

So there you were, dropped at the doorstep of Yoongi and Namjoon's studio. You were sure Namjoon was working away down the hall, but you stopped at Yoongi's door, putting in the code you remembered from last time and quietly entering. You had a takeout bag in hand from the shop down the street that Jin had told you was Yoongi's favorite, ordering everything he said Yoongi liked with the money he gave you before pulling away.

"Yoongi? I brought you some food. I remember you saying you liked the takeout from the shop on the way here, so I brought some. You weren't home so we didn't know if you had eaten."

"Thanks," he mumbled, setting down his headphones. "You okay? No more period issues?" He stood, coming over to take the delivery from your hands.

"I'm fine, just some bad cramps."

"Do you need a heating pad? We have one somewhere in the garage?"

"Yeah, Jin gave it to me, and Hoseok gave me one, too. I'm okay for now, but I knew you were working for a while so I thought I'd come and check on you."

"You didn't have to do that," he shook his head, going back to work without eating, leaving the food on the table. "I'm sure you were busy hanging out with the maknaes or something."

"Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you ate." You looked around the room checking for other food containers. "Have you? It's not good to go too long without eating."

"I have a lot of work to do."

"You can work and eat," you decreed, picking up chopsticks and bringing towards his face. "Eat some."

"You're worse than Jin." He groaned, but then stood, grasping your arm gently and pulling you over to the table, settling onto the couch next to you. "Did you really think I could eat all this?" He asked, taking one of the disposable plates that came with the take out and spooning food onto it, handing it to you.

"I just didn't want to get too little. Jin said I could use all the money to get your favorites, so I bought everything he said you liked."

Yoongi chuckled, more of a puff of an than an audible sound. "You should've got yourself something."

"I don't have to eat any, it's for you anyway."

"Did you eat yet?"

"No, but--"

"Then you'll eat now." He smiled, handing you chopsticks and a fork and spoon.

"And you say I'm too much like Jin." You took the chopsticks with mirth, scooting closer so your thighs touched and could access the bowls and trays easier.

You ate in silence for a while. "I won't keep you long. I'm sure you wanna go back to whatever you were doing with the maknaes." He stood again, placing his late down and walking back to his sound board.

"I don't mind staying." You shook your head. "Its nice and quiet here. And you're here. I feel like we haven't hung out in forever." "I've been sleeping in late a lot, I guess."

"It's good. You're comfortable enough to sleep through the night now."

"Mm." You hummed through a mouth full of noodles. "We'll just have to turn our coffee drinking mornings to tea drinking nights."

Yoongi smiled again. "If you want."

"Of course I do. I love hanging out with you Yoongi."

"Feelings mutual, kitten." He tapped his fingers on the desk, thinking for a moment. "Do you wanna hear some of what I've been working on?

"Of course!" You popped up from the couch coming over to him.

You passed the time there, and when Jin called you told him you'd stay with Yoongi, going home whenever the man decided to finish with work. Watching him work you realized how diligent the man was, almost never looking way from his screen and humming to himself, testing melodies and beats with the tap of his pencil. You were quiet, too quiet, Yoongi realized eventually after you sat back down, turning around to see you had fallen asleep sitting up on his couch. Deciding to take pity on you, he pulled out a blanket he usually kept in a cubby in his cabinet, specifically for when he felt like catching a nap in his, usually, freezing cold studio. He could already see the goosebumps on your arms and tucked the blanket carefully around you.

He went back to work, glancing at the clock every once in a while to see the time tick past, always hours later. It was getting dark outside, he could see fork his studio and looked over at you. he stood up and walked over to you, peering at you from above.

You stirred awake from his movement. "Yoonie?" You slurred, and he smiled, leaning closer.

"Right here, Kitten."

"C'mere." You mumbled, pulling at the leg of his pants.

"Jeez, you're cuddlier than the maknaes." He pretended to be inconvenienced as he let you manhandle him next to you, practically pulling yourself on top of him and falling asleep again.

Yoongi looked down at you, face half hidden by the fluffy blanket, curled against his chest, puffs of air hitting him rhythmically. You looked peaceful and he secretly hoped it was him bringing you that peace. He pulled his phone to check the time and before he could think better of it, he snapped a photo of you swaddled up next to him. After some hesitation,-- but who was he kidding, he didn't hesitate at all-- he set it as his phone screen. A little creepy, he thought to himself, but the picture made him smile when he saw it, it was the perfect thing to see whenever he opened his phone.

The next day, the maknaes gave up on giving you the silent treatment, now plastering themselves to your side as you made breakfast. Jin had to whack the back of their hands as they kept trying to take nibbles of food, making Jungkook slink back to the table, bit Taehyung kept himself glued to your back, while you whisked up eggs to scramble.

"We have vacation time for all of us coming up. Why don't we plan a vacation?" Jimin said, slowly and sneakily trying to grab a strip of bacon while Jin was busy flipping a pancake.

"Oh, yeah. We didn't get to anything for Joon and Kookie's birthdays this year either. What do you guys think?" Hoseok asked the question to them, gesturing with his mug of coffee, legs crossed, as he slung his arm around Yoongi's chair.

"What about... somewhere far, maybe with lots of beaches?" Jungkook said, now stealing sausages from Namjoon's plate, the older man pretending he didn't notice.

"Mm, like an island getaway?" Jimin hummed, taking his trip of bacon back to the table where Jin couldn't smack him. "What do you think, pretty?"

A silence fell and you turned around to see the cause, surprised that all eyes were on you. Oh, he was talking to you! "Uh, it sounds nice, I've heard it can be really relaxing." You said with a shrug, going back to whisking eggs.

"We should find a nice resort, maybe beachfront, I want one with a good spa so I can get a foot rub." Hoseok said, stretching out his leg.

Yoongi groaned, leaning his head onto Hoseok's shoulder. "Ugh, but then other people will be there."

Taehyung suggested, "We could always go somewhere more exclusive, or just get a rental." He turned to you again. "What do you think, Y/n? Resort or rental?"

"Mm, since you all are famous it would probably be best to get somewhere more private, but since it's a celebration you should go some where public, so you can be close to a lot of fun events."

"You are so smart. What would we do without you honestly?" Jin praised, probably more than necessary but you just smiled, happy about it even if it was excessive.

"You'd be vacationing in a shack in the middle of nowhere apparently." You joked, poking fun at Yoongi who mumbled 'that would be better' under his breath as the conversation continued.

"Okay. Where should we go then, sugarplum?" Jin asked you, piping whipped cream on the stack of pancakes he flipped off and handing them to Taehyung, who finally peeled himself away from you.

"Wherever you guys want to go? I don't know, it's your vacation." You blinked up at Jin blankly, confused on why they were asking your opinion so much.

"Honey. Don't tell me you think that we're just gonna go and leave you here?" Jimin asked, turning in his chair to make sure you could see his dramatically raised eyebrow.

'You said you guys should go on a vacation." You repeated.

"I said we should go on vacation. As in everyone." He clarified. "You're coming, too."

"Oh." You really didn't know what to say to that. You should've expected it, you had seen the endless generosity of these men, but going on their vacation? You keep assuming they'll get sick of you at some point but they keep surprising you.

"So, pick a place." He said again.

You set your mixing bowl, moving the whisk absentmindedly as you thought about it. "It doesn't really matter to me. I mean, somewhere cheaper would be nice, so I could be able to afford activities and things with the money I have saved up, but--"

Jin immediately stopped you. "No, no, no. You're not paying for anything on this trip."

"But--"

"No, keep your money for something else, we got this one, angel." Hoseok added.

"Are you sure? I could probably--"

"We're sure." Taehyung said this time and you got the feeling that they weren't budging on this one. They looked at you expectantly and before you could protest again, Jimin spoke up.

"Please. Let us take of you, just this once? You do so much around here and have helped so much since being here. Let us repay you with good memories and carefree times on this trip." He pleaded and you couldn't bring yourself to say no. Was it really so bad to be spoiled?

"Okay." You acquiesced, and the kitchen erupted into cheers.

"Okay! Now, pick a place."

Taglist closed: @sunshinehobissunshine @pb-n-juju @bunnyrhe @7soulsbts @tinyoonsblog @royalchickens @urvirtualgfteehee @tazzi-baby @deathincarnation @alngelias @jinswifeyy @not-all-are-the-same @btsizlyfe @justsomoneliving @purplelady85 @just-me-and-myselfs @thinkaholicer @kookstempo @kosmicbomb @squishyturtle @bunzom @fuckinglittlekitten @canarystwin @scuzmunkie @stupendousliteraturewritingoaf @sugarrush-blush @bt21chim @maries110911 @bjoriis @creatorspalace @highinhopess @little-dark-empress @onlythebest-106 @cestlabellemort @rapunzel76 @kamen-tenshi @totallynoanalien @singukieee @gingerupset @sunshinee0-0 @avadakadabra93 @lvrseok @musicismyoxygen @missinggot7 @silscintilla @jcrml @chosovisionaries @hwa-loves @placeoftime @embrace-themagic

#poly! bts x reader #ot7 x yn #ot7 x reader #bts x reader #bts x y/n #gbist #aaaahhh this one isnt proofread #theres typos for sure #and i had to cut out a txt scene #two chapters away now #i keep forgetting about our boys

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luvring · 2 years

Note

Felix pining over an Oblivious MC would be a fricking disaster

— felix with an oblivious mc

note from nia: quick post 4 me to rest after the last one aheehoo. omg story time i accidentally got a guy to tell me he liked me bc i was being oblivious (rlly in denial bc i was like nah no way) but i don't think it was my fault he didn't know what platonic meant and didn't check before saying it was platonic ?? huh

r.i.p. felix . them missing his hints Every Time and he just . can't.

felix showing them the ins and outs of his book collections, mentioning that he's only ever shown people he really trusts. mc goes :) ? because we're best friends? and it isn't like he wants to hurt their feelings so he says yes. BFFs for sure,

the type of guy who would make friendship bracelets, or go shopping for little trinkets and accepting one from mc that says "I <3 U" with shaking hands

crying thinking about the scene where he kisses mc as his last resort and mc being like "don't worry about it! we're still friends" and he just Passes Out

when they. when they share the room/bed and . it's just like a fun little sleepover but felix is over here sweating because They're In The Same Bed.

mc meeting rime? rime Implying Things Over and Over smirking, like yeah i got them. and mc is just utterly confused over what the hell he's going on about

mc throws him off so hard that when felix shows up rime's just like what's wrong with this person . HLEP

pretty much anytime mc calls felix their friend a part of him dies because yes. they're friends. he enjoys being friends. but at this point he's starting to wonder if the problem is actually him

[no fear] what if they're non-confrontational and this is a really meta way of mc hinting that they aren't interested. [One Fear]

honestly i'm not sure how long mc could go being oblivious before felix either a) gives up or b) finally blurts out he likes them

like imagining felix ask if they'd like to go out somewhere to eat and mc's like yeah sure! i love Hanging Out with you :) and he stares at them. thinking, contemplating,,

mc starts getting a little confused (concerned) and calls out his name and he finally manages to blurt out "as a date."

"huh?" "i—i wanted to take you on a date?" "..oh. Oh! oh?"

🧍 🧍 ....🧍? 🧍??

mc starts connecting the puzzle pieces, "you like me?" and felix thinks he might fall to the floor. "Yes. yes i do, though i see my attempts at flirting weren't very effective."

or based on canonic events...chapter 9 bath scene. and if that was skipped (cue felix sitting in the bath alone with his head in his hands),, there is no way they'd get out of felix dying for them and finding him without a confession. he just Died, and sure it isn't the first time, but maybe this was a sign he should Go For It

either way at least now that mc knows they figure things out a little quicker and felix is bolder,, a little clearer. for the sake of their mental health and sanity

e.g. felix telling them to stay close so they don't get lost and mc grabs his hand , felix taking initiative in physical affection by bringing their head to rest on his shoulder when they're tired , mc facing him the next time they sleep in the same bed and felix wrapping his arm around them ,, yeah.

#last legacy #felix escellun #last legacy felix #fictif felix #felix iskandar escellun #q

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ricksroaches · 3 years

Text

Jungkook - Dysphoria ch. 1

pairing: Yoongi x Reader, OT7 x Reader (platonic)

summary: Jungkook, a burnt out gifted student, comes home from summer camp not ready to start his sophomore year of highschool, but his friends are there to help him feel better. Although not in the best of ways.

notes: This is a Euphoria-ish au but mostly it's just heavily inspired by the show (I use a few quotes), and each chapter is based on a character. There's a few parts where I cue a song title that's because I made a soundtrack to listen to while reading but I deleted it a while ago so :( if you feel like it listen to the ones I did write down. I'm apologizing now bc my writing can be a bit choppy/rushed its just cuz i have a more drabble-like style and don't know how to write between big scenes. THIS IS A DARK FIC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Hope you enjoy and sorry for this big ass paragraph.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: ass-load of angst, mental illness (depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD, and probably more), drugs (all of them. just all of them), underage drinking, cursing, mentions of self-harm

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[Slideshow - Labrinth]

When Jungkook was 5, he wanted to be an astronaut. He wanted to fly into the sky and zip around space exploring things never before seen. His little mind was so strong, wanting to learn anything and everything. When he first learned how to read, he would read every sign he passed in the car and play games with the letters he’d find. It wasn’t long before he was placed in advanced classes with kids he'd never seen before and for the first time in his academic career, he was challenged.

When Jungkook was 10, he wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to wear a white coat and glasses and race around a hospital busy saving lives everyday. He wanted people to look to him for advice and treat him with respect. He wanted to feel needed.

When Jungkook was 14, he wanted to be a paramedic. He didn’t think he’d be smart enough to become a doctor so an EMT would have to do. His classes had begun to pile up in work to the point where he didn’t have the time to think about anything but school. He ate, slept, and breathed homework, projects, and term papers.

When Jungkook was 16, all he wanted to do was graduate. He no longer had any desire to pursue his childhood dreams. When he was asked what he wanted to do when he was older, his mind was a void. He couldn’t see any future for himself past high school. He went day to day not bothering to care about what might happen the next day. He coasted through all of his classes and dropped out of the advanced programs that his parents put him in.

His potential was like a flame. It was small at first, but still had loads of potential, so more kindling was thrown on top. The flame received it well, quickly spreading over the new material. But they kept stacking kindling. Stacking and stacking and stacking putting more and more pressure until finally….the flame died. All because he liked to read.

[Forever - Labrinth]

The clouds inched across the sky and rows of crops and fencing whipped by the car window. A stark contrast between the two. Jungkook rested his head against the glass and watched as the car began to pass more and more houses. The familiar area told him he was almost home. He should’ve been glad, elated even. He would finally get to see his friends again, but after three weeks of summer school to catch up on the class he skipped last year he’d lost the ability to smile or show any form of positivity. To say he felt like a zombie would be an insulting understatement.

The car pulled into the ever so familiar driveway and the rest of his family piled out of the car. He didn’t move. He heaved a long, anguished sigh before snatching his duffel bag from the other seat and throwing open the door.

He was out the front door again before his mom could even ask him where he was going. Speeding his bike down the empty road that he’d ridden countless times before. He could make this route with his eyes closed. The house in question came into view and Jungkook pedaled harder to close the distance. He swung one leg to the opposite pedal and straddled it until he swerved to a stop in the driveway. The house was old, hadn’t been lived in for years, wasn’t on the market, yet wasn’t scheduled to be torn down. It was the perfect place for a group of teenagers to tear apart and put back together. Without knocking, he stepped inside and was hit with the welcoming scent of booze, pizza, and weed with notes of cigarettes and coffee. Music blasting from a distant room in the house led him to the living room where he counted one, two, three, four, five people sprawled about the room. Upon noticing him standing in the doorway, they jumped up and raced to pull him into the room.

“Kook! How you been man? How’d surviving summer school go?” Taehyung was Jungkook’s best friend and unsolicited wingman. He was always trying to set him up with girls so he could get his v card punched. Taehyung was ever the ladies man. Never had trouble finding a date or a hookup. No one could blame him though. If they had that flawless, arrogant face they’d use it too. Despite his fuckboy nature, he was the best friend Jungkook ever had. They’d gone to the same school since they were 7 and Taehyung’s untamable charisma sniffed out Jungkook’s shyness rather quickly. They were inseparable and the rest is history.

“Fine I guess.”

“Kookie, come sit down! I’ve been saving your spot on the couch for you!” Jimin pulled Jungkook to the left corner of the C shaped couch. Jimin was like Taehyung in the sense that he also had no issues with finding partners. He wasn’t near as promiscuous as Taehyung, but he made up for it with his bisexuality. He had an entire other gender to choose from. Jimin was probably the nicest of the group. He always gave the best hugs and was their personal therapist. His aura seemed to coax you into opening up to him even if you hadn’t originally planned on it. He had a way of saying all the right words to make you feel better, even if it was just for a moment. On the other side of him, he was the biggest party animal the group had ever seen. Anywhere else, he was the purest angel that everyone believed could do no wrong. But at a party? Park Jimin was a demon. Seductively dancing in a stylish jacket, pants low enough to show his v-line, sweaty hair flipped back pounding shot after shot until he was the last man standing. That guy could party from sun down to sun up like it was a baby shower.

“Did you at least learn anything you missed last year?” Namjoon. Ever the parent. He was surprisingly humble given his father’s status and money. He easily had the best grades among the friends. School always came easy to him, no matter what it was. However, if you saw him outside of school, you’d never be able to guess he was one of the school’s top students. He carried an energy with him that dared anyone to mess with him or his friends. Although you didn’t see it often, he could make himself scary if he wanted to. All in all, he’s just a gentle giant that made sure everyone turned in their work.

“Absolutely nothing. I don’t know why they keep wasting their time on me.” Jungkook sighed. Hoseok threw a pillow from across the couch, smacking him in the face.

“Yah! Don’t talk about yourself like that!” Hoseok was the human charger. It didn’t matter if someone’s mama died if Hoseok was in the room there would be shenanigans. He was always the one to make some crazy dare that would end up getting them in trouble but they wouldn’t be mad because it was totally worth it. He also had great music taste and almost always was on aux. Hoseok’s vice was coke. Often the driving force behind his hyper nature, it started out as just a thing he did at parties, but slowly creeped into his everyday habits. It hadn’t become a problem yet, he vowed that as soon as he started getting nosebleeds he’d stop, although Jungkook was wary of how difficult that was going to be.

“Where’s Y/N and Yoongi?” Jungkook asked after noticing their usual spots empty.

“They left to get food. They should be coming back soon.” Jin assured him, giving him a comical slap on the thigh. Jin was the eldest, but rarely acted like it. Whenever he wasn’t making stupid dad jokes or eating he spent his time at the classical theater where he worked and sometimes acted. He planned on pursuing acting given his “world wide handsome face.” “It just has to be seen! People around the world need to swoon at my beauty” as he would put it.

No one heard the front door open and shut or noticed Y/N and Yoongi standing in the doorway of the living room.

“Food’s here.” Yoongi finally croaked. Hoseok and Jin yelped and sprung up.

“JESUS! Ever heard of announcing yourselves?! I swear you guys are the exact same person!” Y/N just gave a shrug and plopped onto the large bean bag that she’d claimed.

“Hey, Kooker.” She dragged out.

“Hi Y/N..” His unusual bland reply didn’t go unnoticed by her, but she brushed it off.

“You ready to get shit faced?” A playful grin plastered her otherwise tranquil face. A small smile poked at Jungkooks pursed lips. There was something about her character that always put him in a better mood. She was the one who invited him and Tae into the friend group in the first place, and because of that, he couldn’t be more grateful.

Yoongi tossed him a beer can and his car keys. “Start us off Jungkook.” Yoongi was by far the most terrifying one. It took some time to get to know his true person but there were still times when he still scared the shit out of him. Jungkook remembered when he first met Yoongi. He looked like he’d served time with the seasoned look in his eye that said he’d seen some shit in his day. He hadn’t spoken the entire time the group was talking and Jungkook was beginning to worry that he didn’t like him. It wasn’t til he finally spoke that Jungkook could release the breath he was holding. For someone so stoic and cold looking, he never expected him to have such a low, soft voice. He realized, Yoongi wasn’t scary, he was just quiet like him.

Jungkook took the keys and poked a hole in the bottom of the can. He pressed his lips to it and pulled the tab, sending the amber liquor shooting down his throat. He finished it with ease and crushed the can in his palm while the room cheered and chanted.

The loud music, laughing, and drugs drowned out everything in the outside world. It felt like the world ended and they were the last people left on Earth. Nothing mattered but what was right in front of them. The hours flew by until it came time for everyone to crash. Most of them were still raging drunk or high which only made them fall asleep faster. Jungkook didn’t drink much and he barely smoked. He just couldn’t get in the right headspace to enjoy any of it. So there he was, laying awake among a pile of snoring boys at some ungodly hour of the night. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out to read the text in his notifications.

[We All Knew - Labrinth]

Y/N💜: come to my office

He shimmied out from under Taehyung and Jimin and tiptoed out of the room. He followed the smell of weed through the house because where there was weed, there was Y/N. He stepped into the backyard and found her leaning against the wall, blunt between her fingers. The tip of the dark stick swelled into a bright orange when she took a drag. Smoke rolling out of her nose, she held it out for him. He hesitated.

“You're upset. Take it.” Which was a dead-on observation for Y/N, who’s not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth. He hesitantly took a puff from it before handing it back. She spread her arms lazily and looked at him with a beckoning stare. He sighed and walked right into her arms that wrapped around his back. She was only older than him by a year, but her old soul and almost motherly demeanor made him look up to her like she was his idol. Sometimes, he forgot he was a whole head taller than her. “Welcome home, Kookie.”

Hers was the only welcome he got that day that brought a genuine smile to his face. She had a way of making him feel welcome and wanted even if she was in a bad mood. She broke the embrace and without a word headed to the old couch by the empty swimming pool. He eventually followed her and flopped down next to her. Another gush of smoke entered the chilly air and it was handed back to him. Feeling better, he took a healthy drag and sighed out the smoke as he sunk further into the couch.

“Was it that obvious?”

“Was what obvious?”

“Me being upset.”

“Not really.” She flicked the ash off the tip of the brown stick, her gaze not breaking from its spacey stare.

“Then how’d you know?”

“Pain recognizes pain.” Y/N wasn’t one for her genius epiphanies, given that nine times out of ten on any given day she was stoned out of her mind. She wasn’t dumb, god no. He wouldn’t doubt that she was smarter than him, but she rarely exercised her ability. As great of a gift that her mind was, it was an even worse curse. An inescapable tomb of her worst fears, thoughts, and intentions, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. So naturally, she tried anything and everything to silence her mind; alcohol, weed, acid, coke, molly, you name it, she’s done it.

Jungkook wasn’t angry or disappointed by the lengths she went. He knew she was just trying to feel better, and to him, that’s all that mattered. He’d take high Y/N over no Y/N at all.

“Y/N?”

“Yep.” There was a silence while he worked up the nerve to speak.

“How…uh….how long have you felt…the way you feel?” She chuckled and let her head fall back against the couch.

“Well I smoked a blunt with Yoongi in the car this morning and then-”

“No, I mean like…w-without drugs.” Her lazy smile didn’t change, but her eyes unfocused and she grew quiet as if lost in a flashback.

“How long do you think I’ve felt this way?” He didn’t anticipate this question.

“Uh…I don’t know…you hide it really well.”

“I couldn’t tell you when it started. I don’t remember much before 7. I’m told I was a happy kid, but it didn’t feel like it at all. All my life I’ve looked around and seen that everyone was so much happier than me, and I’d ask myself, ‘Why can’t I feel like that?’ It wasn’t until I was older that I learned…I was born to suffer. That’s just my place in the world.”

“When did you finally tell anyone?”

“I didn’t. My parents found my razors.” Jungkook always thought he saw scars on her arms and legs, but her milky skin made it hard to tell. It hurt his heart to know that it was true, and that every one of those once caused her pain. The image of her forearms and thighs slick with her blood brewed tears in his eyes.

“They determined they didn’t have the knowledge to help me, so they asked me to take a tour of this mental hospital and think about their suggestion….” She paused to keep her voice from cracking. “I didn’t make it home that day. Never really forgave them after that.”

There was a long silence after that. Jungkook didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Besides, he knew she hated condolences. “What made you start using drugs?” She took a drag of the blunt and thought about it.

“I was 13.” Really? “I found my brothers stash of weed in one of his shoes. I already knew what weed was and what it was used for, so I took about a gram and a rolling paper and taught myself how to roll a joint on my bathroom floor. I was shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds but when that joint hit, I thought…” She tilted her head to peak at him with an epiphanic smile, “This is it…This is the feeling that I’ve been waiting to feel my entire life. I thought I was sure to get caught and sent to juvie, but I wasn’t. The world went on, and I found a way to live. Now could my lifestyle kill me? Will it kill me? Yeah probably I don’t know, but at least I could’ve had a few years where I wasn’t begging the universe to put me out of my misery.” She paused to take another hit. “People often ask me, ‘Y/N why don’t you try therapy? Drugs aren’t the answer.’ Yeah well, drugs work. Therapy’s a guessing game; you never know if it’s gonna actually help or not and end up wasting your time and money. But when I take that hit, that line, that tab, the world starts to slow…and everything goes quiet…and I feel safe. In my own head. And I can see the world in color again.”

Jungkook watched her blissful face while she was lost in thought. She must’ve been pretty high because this is the most personal she’d ever gotten with him or possibly anyone that wasn’t Yoongi. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“W-what if I don’t feel what everyone else feels either..?” He pinched the skin between his fingers to keep his tears at bay, a nervous habit he’d picked up from her. She reached over and took his hand in hers, the webbing between her fingers had white and pink stripes from years of fingernails digging into the flesh.

“Jungkook,” she didn’t use his nickname, “I know how hard it was for you to say that. I want you to know how much I appreciate you telling me, because if anyone knows how you feel, it’s me. You can talk to me whenever, wherever. Even when you think it’s a bad time it’s not, because nothing in that moment is more important to me than you. I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did, so please, even if you don’t want to talk, maybe I can at least keep you company.”

For the rest of the night, Jungkook told her everything. About the pressure, the stress, the desire to collapse and let the world go on without him, his inability to see a future where he was fulfilled. The words often caught in his throat, having never said them out loud before. Y/N didn’t say much, she just wrapped them in a blanket and stroked his hair while she just let him talk. Sometimes, he’d have to stop to cry and she’d hold him a little tighter, wipe his tears away with her thumbs, and wait til he was ready again.

Eventually, he had nothing else to say, his tears dried, and his body stilled.

Babies didn’t sleep that good.

Y/N nodded off a little later but was woken up by a raccoon tipping a trash can. She rested her cheek on his head and tried to go back to sleep, but it never came. She just continued to rest her eyes while playing with Jungkook’s hair and tracing lines along his features.

She didn’t know how long she laid there but soon the birds began their routine morning songs and she was sure she wouldn’t get back to sleep now. The faint tap of shoes on the concrete perked her ears, but she kept her eyes closed. The footsteps stopped behind the couch where she sat. It was quiet before the person chuckled quietly. A warm hand smoothed back the hair in her face and a little kiss was planted on her forehead. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

“Yoongi, I’m awake you creep.” She cracked her eyes open to see her boyfriend laid over the back of the couch hovering above her, his dark hair tickling her nose. He smirked.

“Well in that case,” he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up before capturing her lips in a playful kiss. When they parted, he glanced down at Jungkooks still sleeping figure. “You guys stay out here all night?”

“Yeah,” she looked down at him and smoothed his hair back, “he just had a few things to get off his chest.” Yoongi almost asked what it was about but her face gave him an idea.

“It’s cold, you want me to take him inside?”

“It won’t wake him up will it?”

“If he’s as out as as he looks, he won’t.” She nodded and Yoongi circled around and slipped his hands under the sleeping boy’s body. Much to Y/N’s pleasant surprise, he lifted him bridal style with ease and she followed him into the house where he placed him next to the other slumbering boys.

When he straightened back up he saw her in the sliding glass door, gazing at the now dusty blue sky. She could feel his body heat on her back against the nippy outside air.

“I always loved the time just before dawn.”

“Why is that?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his cheek to hers.

“It’s so calm and peaceful. And incredibly quiet besides the birds. It’s the only time I feel truly left alone.”

“You want me to show you my favorite time of day?” She turned to him with a curious look. “Follow me.” Not long after, the two were perched on the flat portion of the roof with Yoongi’s bong sitting between them. His angular fingers effortlessly packed the bowl and held it out to her. “All yours.” She took it with a smile.

“What a gentleman~”

Soon, the sky went from a pale blue to pastel shades of orange and pink. He looked over to see her fiddling with a thread on his hoodie she was wearing. “This,” he took her jaw and guided her eyes up for her to see the sunrise, “is my favorite time of day.”

“Why?”

“It gives me hope. Kinda like you.” He was glad she didn’t say anything. She was lost in the color palette of the scene before her, the weed making everything so much more vibrant and striking. He could see the sky reflected in her eyes, making the view ten times better. More time went by and she rested her head on his broad shoulder while they watched the rest of the sunrise.

Back on the ground, Yoongi cleared the bowl and poured out the bong water before setting it on a table by the couch. Y/N was on her back in the center of the empty pool, slowly tearing a leaf above her face and analyzing how it separated cell by cell. He stood on the edge above and watched her do this another four times much to his amusement. “You wanna get breakfast?”

She was out of the pool and in his face before he could finish his sentence. “Like you have to ask.” He chuckled and rolled his eyes before turning and walking to his car. “Hey, Yoongi.”

He turned back.

“Carry me to the car like Jungkook.” He broke into a smirk and walked back to her.

“Yes ma’am.” She let out a yelp when he scooped her off her feet and marched the two of them to his car waiting on the street.

Cover photo: @BIGHITTED on Twitter

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #fanfic #yoongi #yoongi x reader #ot7 x reader #bts fic #yoongi fic #bts angst

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thyandrawrites · 3 years

Note

By my count there are seven episodes left of Season 5, which leaves me very worried about My Villain Academia. Since the next episode is about Aizawa and Kurogiri that would leave at best only six episodes to get it done, which I think would be impossible to do MVA justice in.

hey anon. I don't mean this to brush you off so please don't take it that way! I just want to be very upfront about this because every week people come to me with complaints about the anime and at this point I'm just... shrugging here

So, here's me being completely honest: I don't care about the anime anymore. Like, I tried getting invested in it. I went in pretty hyped, then got disappointed, then kept getting disappointed over and over until I just stopped giving a shit. Right now it's very obvious to me that Bones is treating the League as an afterthought because they can't milk them for merch as much as the main cast of heroes. And this keeps getting more and more obvious the more the season goes on. Not only did they screw up the order of the events, but they also added filler after filler and cut mva short in order to fit as much Endvr and Hawks as possible early on. I'm done waiting on mva to be animated only to be let down week after week as something else comes up that takes precedence over it. I'm done hoping they'll animate it well, or that they won't skip anything to fit in the few remaining episodes. Truth be told, my investment is so low I even forget to watch new episodes, and when I do remember bc of the gifs flooding my dash, I lack the enthusiasm to catch up.

So right now I'm just... very much indifferent about the whole thing. I'll watch it at some point but I won't be there with bated breath waitiing for the best scenes to get animated, and I sure as hell am not going to count how many manga chapters are they gonna fit in an episode and then updating my prediction week after week. That's just too emotionally exhausting for me at this stage, and I prefer having absolutely no expectation aside from disappointment. Maybe then I can still be positively surprised.

#hope you don't find this answer to be too negative #I just #don't expect anything at all to come from this mess of a season #and my investment is zero #I'm two episodes behind #again #last time it was three #ali replies #bnha

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spencstan · 3 years

Text

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

Note

aaaaa the newest chapter was great!!!! more dex and some downtime for sophie, but marella. marella. GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING. none of these kids are ok.

also this took me a while to get through bc i was relating to sophie HARD throughout this but not in a good way bvkfjfkf so i may find it a tad difficult to go back and reread for predictions and theories so if there's less this time then. yeah.

still wodnering what the hell those messages from last time meant....and that dragon scale like what is going on??? /pos

very good, 1000/10 (ﾉ≧▽≦)ﾉ

- pyro

pyro!! hello again! aaaaa to you, too!

As for Dex, I couldn't bring Elwin into the situation and have him not look at Dex, which just gave me a perfect opportunity for some Dex page time! There's a lot going on with his wings and him trying to build a new pair that will actually be functional, but I believe in him. Do hope he takes a nap sometime soon though. Wait I'm in charge of that. Hmm. Guess I gotta make him take a nap if I want him to get some rest.

And I also needed to skip some time, so giving Sophie a break was an excellent excuse for that. I kind of spent two chapters writing a single day's events, so I didn't want to drag on that day any more. So Sophie falling asleep for once in her life was very helpful for that.

And Marella!! What is she doing. I've been waiting to do the things I've been building up to since chapter 6 or 7, so I'm ecstatic to finally be getting into it! I think the next two or three chapters will cover all this, which will be fun!! Sophie had her chance to sneak away, so now it's Marella's turn! The question now is where she's going and why. I happen to know the answer to that question but you don't, which is why I'm letting you know! So you can ruminate on it if you wish!

also please don't feel pressured to predict or theorize anything. I enjoy seeing what you think about the story, but that is never a requirement or an expectation. I'm sorry you related to some of Sophie's internal struggles this chapter, it's definitely not a fun feeling. And a lot of what she said and how she phrased it is taken directly from my own life, so you're not alone with that. Specifically the stuff about just knowing you've said something wrong and scolding yourself for it and pursuing the wrong things too intensely, which has affected friendships. And the feeling that there's so much going on all the time that all you can think to do is put it into a list so you don't look track but then the list keeps growing and growing and everything suddenly feels monumental. if you need anything, I'm always available to talk <33. I may go a day or two without posting, but that doesn't mean I'm completely unavailable, just that I'm not posting.

and those messages!! they certainly seem to have stuck in Sophie's mind, but she hasn't figured out what they mean yet. and with the events at the end of the chapter, I don't think they're what she's worried about at the moment. but!! that doesn't mean I'm just going to ignore it until it's time to solve the riddles! what I do with them until then, though. That's up in the air. I'll probably just figure it out as I go tbh. and i'll probably think of additional double meanings on the way to solving them, making them more and more complicated.

and the dragon scale...what does it mean? what does it all mean? (to paraphrase your questions from last chapter). is it the dragon scale specifically or is it some meaning behind it? why did it spark such a strong reaction? this is something that I'll probably get to in the next few chapters, so I'm excited!! there is so much going on I'm just ahhhh!!

very good!! 1000/10!! that is a very large number!! 100 times larger than the scale "out of ten" implies! I'm incredibly pleased you enjoyed this chapter as much as you did--now I just need to write the rest of them!! hopefully I can make them better and better !!

#i have many plans for the next few chapters #whether or not I can execute them well is another question #one of the fun things with this au is that it's not just sophie and her friends against another group #there's tension and confusion between them too #which means I get to play around with their relationships and how they interact #while also having them work towards functioning as a grou #p #like tam and sophie going off on their own (something not everyone would approve of) to the human world to get supplies that benefitted the #group #very fun in my opinion #oh we haven't seen tam in a while I should bring him back #kotlc #kotlc wings au #wings au asks #shattered upside down #quil's queries #pyrokinetic-loser #nonsie love #tw caps

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fydream · 4 years

Text

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!

An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"

"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."

"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."

"Okay."

The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.

Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.

You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.

"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"

"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.

"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.

"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."

"What, you mean beautiful like always?"

Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.

"You can't just say that!" You argue.

"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"

You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.

"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.

"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.

"Hm?"

"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."

"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.

"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."

"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.

"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."

"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."

"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."

For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?

"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."

"Enough?" He asks.

"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."

Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.

"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.

Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.

"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"

"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.

"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."

The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.

"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."

Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?

"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.

He chuckles.

"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."

"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."

"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."

For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.

"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.

"What are they?"

"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."

"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.

"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"

"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."

"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.

"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.

"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.

"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"

The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.

"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"

"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.

"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"

"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.

Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.

"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.

"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.

"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.

"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."

Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"

Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.

"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.

"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"

"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"

"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."

"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.

"Chenle!"

"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."

"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."

"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."

"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.

"Okay okay.. god.."

"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."

"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."

Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.

"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.

"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.

"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"

Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"

"To y'know.. the question."

"I already told you."

"No silly, I meant your real answer."

Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.

"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.

"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."

"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."

"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"

"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.

"Hm?"

"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.

Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.

[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]

[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]

[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]

Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.

After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.

Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.

"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"

"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"

Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"

"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"

"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."

Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.

Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.

"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.

Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."

"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."

"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"

"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."

"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."

"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.

"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."

"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.

"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.

And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.

He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?

Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."

Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.

When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.

"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.

"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."

"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"

"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.

"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.

"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.

"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."

"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."

Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.

Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.

He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.

He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.

And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.

"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.

When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.

Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.

"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.

"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.

"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.

"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.

Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.

"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.

"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.

"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."

"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.

"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"

"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"

"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"

Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"

Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.

Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.

From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.

"Where are you?" Jisung asks.

"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."

"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.

"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.

Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.

"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.

"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.

"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.

"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.

"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"

"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.

"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.

"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.

"Why would they be outside?" You ask.

"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."

"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.

"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.

Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.

"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.

"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.

"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.

"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.

"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."

"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"

"No, Hyuckie-"

"I said, don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"

His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.

Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.

"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."

"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.

"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."

Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.

Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.

"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.

Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.

"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.

Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.

"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.

Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."

"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.

"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.

"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"

"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.

"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.

Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.

"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."

"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.

Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.

"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.

You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.

"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."

"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.

"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."

"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."

"I doubt that's true."

"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."

"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."

"My side?" Jeno asks.

"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"

Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.

"You're too good, y/n."

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