#neurodivergent experiences | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clownrecess · 11 months

Text

(TW FOR ABLEISM, AND BRIEF MENTIONS OF AGGRESSION, ISOLATION, AND SUI IDEATION)

"Not all autistics have no empathy/sympathy/remorse!! Stop saying we do, it's harmful!"

Yes, of course not all autistics are that way because not every autistic is anything (besides autistic, of course.). So what about the autistics and otherwise neurodivergents that ARE that way? I'm aggressive when I'm upset. I don't feel empathy. I only feel sympathy for very specific people and very specific situations. And whilst I can't speak for those without remorse, I can say I'm the opposite. I feel such intense remorse that I'll isolate myself and decide everyone would be better off without me because I did something as simple as yelling at someone via text message.

Neurodivergent people who experience symptoms that aren't "pretty" are still deserving of love. Neurodivergent people who don't feel empathy/sympathy/remorse are still deserving of love.

#actually autistic #neurodivergent #autism #nonspeaking autistic #autistic experiences #neurodivergent experiences #neurodiverse #disabled #symptoms #the tism

691 notes · View notes

sweaters-and-vertigo · 1 year

Text

talking about neurodivergency with fellow neurodivergents vs talking about it with neurotypicals

#infodumping is a love language #stop forcing me to make eye contact #let me stim in peace #y’all don’t listen to our needs but we’re the ones without empathy…… riiiiight #neurodivergent stuff #neurodivergent experiences #infodump #stimming #autistic stimming #adhd stimming #hyperfixation #parallel play #hyperfocus #autistic experiences #adhd experience #special interests

42 notes · View notes

wingedgardensheep · 10 months

Text

You know the phrase " burnout gifted kid" can we add " burnout kid who thought they were gifted but never was because they are neurodivegent and the school system sucks"

#neurodivergent community #neurodivergent problems #dyslexia #dyslexia awareness #neurodiversity #neurodivergent experiences #adhd creature #burnout #gifted kid burnout #gifted kid shit #autism #dyspraxia

20 notes · View notes

flyingraven · 6 months

Text

I freeze.

We are at security in a strange airport. Our flight has just passed by our noses and I can feel how stressed you are.

I've already made one mistake.

And now there are more rules.

It's different from our first flight.

My hands shake as I'm tugging at my laptop. I try to hide my stuffed animal lower in my bag again. I'm slow.

My hands shake more as I'm fumbling to take off my belt.

Done.

I quickly pass though the scanner and go to grab the bin with my laptop, belt and jacket. I nearly drop it. One of you catches it. I can barely raise my voice loud enough to thank you.

I'm taking up space. Too much space. I'm shaking more. One of you is done already- both of you are done.

Where is my bag?

On the other line. Of bags needing to be checked.

Fuck.

Someone in front of me is arguing about her makeup. I'm losing control of my breathing a little as i can see both of you waiting on me.

I'm keeping you up. Fuck.

Why is she not done yet?

People keep bumping in to me but I don't know if I'm allowed to move.

I feel like you're getting mad at me for keeping you up. But I can't ask if you are. Fuck.

Finally. They get to my bag. Ask if I forgot a bottle or something. I'm fairly sure I didn't? I check anyway. Dig. Push my stuffed animal to the side and try to hide my embarrassment and my traitorous shaky hands. I can't make eye contact anymore.

The goddamn bottle of Fruitshoot.

I apologise furiously and hand her the bottle with shame. Did someone say something funny? Both of you are laughing. At least you're laughing.

She takes my bag back and says something unintelligible. Are they going to rescan my bag? She walks off.

People are still bumping in to me. No matter if I move over a little or not. Am I allowed to move? I can't move without permission anymore. What if I break the rules?

Where is my bag?! It's been gone for an eternity.

I turn to you. I don't know where they took my bag, I say with anxiety choking my throat. Your expression is unreadable as you say they're probably just scanning it again. See? There it is.

I grab it and wrestle my laptop and toiletries back into it. Quickly. Quickly. I've kept you up. Added more to the stress and fuck I've broken so many rules and taken up so much space. My whole body is shaking.

You ask if I'm a bit non verbal as we finally walk off.

I nod.

#autism #adhd #asd #actually autistic #anxiety #anxiety attack #spoken word #poem #poems on tumblr #poems that don't rhyme #neurodivergent #neurodivergent experience #neurodivergent experiences #flyingraven oc #I wrote this at 2 am

10 notes · View notes

salamanderswafe · 1 month

Text

shoutout to all my fellow neurodivergent disaster bis with unevenly cuffed jeans

#bisexual #disaster bi #neurodivergent experiences

2 notes · View notes

nonbinarymlm · 2 years

Text

Sometimes in relationships you'll do things that hurt each other. In a long term relationship these things are guaranteed. Hopefully it will be unintentional, but stuff will happen. This will especially happen if you're both marginalized or neurodivergent. What matters is that you deal with it with kindness.

I wanted to play a video game with my boyfriend. We're both gamers, but we hadn't played a game together in years, and playing games with other people can be a really fun time. I wanted to. I wanted to play Portal with him, which I hadn't played since High School and is a really clever game. Also, it meant we could work our way to co-op in Portal 2. I brought it up on weekends when we weren't doing anything. He was reluctant, but he agreed to set it up and give it a try. He made it five minutes in before he had to stop.

He didn't like puzzle games because doing puzzles in front of people tied in with bad childhood experiences, from being taught math in the way that involved a lot of yelling and judging and not a lot of actually learning. Also childhood memories of a traumatic autism evaluation (he's not autistic, some of adults in his life were just trying to fix/solve him). So we stopped. I gave a little apology.

Later that night, though, he had screaming nightmares. I talked to him about it in the morning and it turns out Portal was genuinely triggering to him. From the childhood trauma and from other experiences being (at different times consentually and not consentually) institutionalized for mental health reason. Portal mimics institutions in an exaggerated ways, white walls and formal language. It also traps your character and forces you to do puzzles while being watched, connecting to a lot of past trauma. Engaging with it as an interactive medium was particularly triggering.

And the thing is, I knew about these past traumatic experiences. They were all a long time before I met him, but he told me about them. Maybe I could have figured it out. Except he'd never been triggered by content like that before (not that there's a ton of other media like Portal that we'd consumed) and nothing that we'd consumed had been triggering like that because it hadn't been interactive first person. It was something even he didn't really know about, except for general reluctance. But maybe I could have done better.

I got permission and even encouragement from him to share this, because it demonstrates a lot about people and relationships. Sometimes you don't know what will trigger you and triggers can be really unexpected. Sometimes you'll end up pushing sensitive spots on people you love. We're okay, because we're kind to each other and communicate. Communication kind of needs kindness to facilitate, because communication requires vulnerability and that's not going to come naturally without kindness. Also, listening is important. If someone wants to stop something, even a video game, its important. Sometimes unexpected things can really get to people.

Relationships aren't always easy. There are complicated and tough times as well as the easy bits. This can be especially true for anyone who's neurodivergent or marginalized, because we can have more unexpected sensitive spots than others. But these complexities are part of relationships. They're part of what makes it real and they're okay to have, as long as you're respectful to each other about it.

#relationships #relationship #couples #mlm #nlm #relationship experiences #queer experiences #neurodivergent experiences #nd relationships #long post #loving queue #text post

87 notes · View notes

milkmancatcher · 2 years

Text

Kids who are bothered by ambulance sirens 🤝 kids who are bothered by public bus sounds and movement

#neurodivergent posting #neurodivergent #ND #neurodivergent experiences #neurodivergent things #neurodivergent positivity

8 notes · View notes

delphiniumjoy · 1 year

Text

I've fallen yet again down the rabbit hole of learning about childhood trauma from the clinical, therapist's youtube video perspective. And I've always had a pet peeve about certain definitions here.

My family has always been healthy and functional. I've been lucky in that regard. Whatever amount of emotional neglect I feel I might have experienced was due to miscommunication more than anything, because I never expressed the emotions I needed help with. What actually traumatized me was my incredibly fragile social system. I got bullied, in the way pretty much all undiagnosed autistic kids get bullied. I was a whole ass adult before I made friends who I believed wouldn't ghost me when I made the slightest mistake, and even then, I tend to feel like the majority of my peers barely notice my existence.

But there aren't studies on this. There aren't definitions or advice or anything that would help me gain perspective on why these things still hurt me. Why I'm so cautious about all of my interactions, and why being shown love in community is so unfamiliar. Instead, I just keep reading about how my nonexistent unstable family structure can make it hard to find the partner I don't want, and it doesn't help.

#autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent experiences #autistic experiences #trauma mention #childhood trauma #there do not exist any untraumatized autistic people #and we all know it but it's really annoying that they don't give us resources for it #all the quizzes say i have a disorganized attachment style #but also that these things are only caused by family #i am walking proof that isn't true

3 notes · View notes

thatlavenderblue · 1 year

Text

Growing up as kid, did you identify yourself as the moon because people made you believe you were cold hearted and you felt lonely but the more you grow up and learn to ubmask the more you realise that you're actually the sun because you are so much more than your lack of understanding of social norms and you are now surrender by people who are just like you and love you as you are or were you neurotypical?

#neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurodivergent experiences #actually autistic #autism #autistic culture #thatlavenderblue posts

5 notes · View notes

spacedust-ghost · 1 year

Text

Every so often I question if I'm ND or not because I'm so normal then I go work and I'm like yeah no I most definitely aren't NT

#txt post #txt #neurodivergent #neurodivergent experiences #neurodiverse stuff #by:a silly ghost on tumblr

3 notes · View notes

anewinterpretation · 2 years

Text

TL;DR - Downplaying someone's mental illnesses or disabilities, pretending there's some magic cure for them, or poking fun at the things they use to help themselves is a surefire way to make sure that person never talks to you about it again.

It's been nearly two full weeks, and a conversation I had with a relative is still living rent free in my head. This person regularly asks me how therapy is going. At first I thought these conversations were neat and they were finally taking interest, but now it's the conversation I dread most.

Why?

Because they basically keep asking when I'll be cured.

I have ADHD and Autism, and because I wasn't diagnosed with either of those until adulthood, I also have severe anxiety and depression. I work with a therapist like a responsible adult, and I take an antidepressant and Adderall to help with the symptoms.

And since the conversation had turned to my therapist, I started bragging a bit. Because I thought I'd made pretty good progress with my therapist and I was excited to share.

But instead of being receptive or happy for me, they immediately got judgy. They were so quick to point out that my communication skills were still lacking, that I was still on so many pills, and basically that I wasn't good enough to have a full on neurotypical conversation. They went so far as to ask if I was only seeing a therapist because they couldn't cure me as a child.

Now I'm thinking that this is probably coming from a genuine place of both ignorance and love, but it was not the best way to approach this. Regardless, the conversation was hurtful, and it left me feeling awful about myself.

I may not pick up on social cues very well, but I can pick up on your tone. I get it, I'm not "normal." I don't fit in. I don't speak or act like society wants me to. I don't communicate everything well. I process information differently and slowly. I can't make my own serotonin anymore. I'm impulsive. I can't remember things for shit. I take pills to keep my mental state under control.

And I avoid talking to people because on a normal day when I'm left to my own devices, I'm completely fine with who I am and completely comfortable in my own skin. But as soon as I talk to someone, I manage to feel worse about all of those things.

#autism #living with autism #adhd #living with adhd #asd #autistic problems #adhd problems #autistic things #autistic experiences #adhd experience #anxeity #depression #mental health struggles #mental heath awareness #mental health #neurodivergent experiences #neurodiversity #neurodiverse stuff #neurodivergent

3 notes · View notes

clownrecess · 10 months

Text

I want to talk about echolalia (and briefly scripts!) and my experience with it as a nonspeaking person.

I am nonspeaking, meaning I have zero mouth words all the time (Except on VERY VERY rare occasions I can say about 1 to 2 words with my mouth willingly). However, I also stim using echolalia.

How can you use echolalia if you can't speak?

Well, that's what I'm going to talk about!

I use echolalia orally with sounds, like "Pa" and "mmmm" and clicking noises. And I use echolalia with words on my device using my vocal stim folder (Which I might share at some point. I like it a lot.).

When I was semispeaking I also did echolalia with words orally, but I can't do that willingly anymore. The word willingly is important.

I believe I am nonspeaking due to a brain body disconnect (I can not make my mouth speak, because my brain blocks it off. However, sometimes my mouth will say something without me doing it. The disconnect is double sided.), and due to this, sometimes my mouth repeats a word it heard on it's own, without my permission or control. This morning, my mother tripped over her own foot. She laughed, and said "Sorry, I'm a bit wobbly this morning. Maybe I need more sleep.". My brain heard the word "wobbly", and my mouth automatically repeated it. That was without my control, and completely unintentionally. For the next few minutes, I then had the ability to willingly repeat the word "wobbly" to myself quietly as a stim. I lost the ability to say the word about about five minutes, but for the few minutes I did have it, I could use the word "wobbly" for oral echolalia. I couldn't use this to communicate at all, I never can when I get a word for oral echolalia, it's purely a stim.

However, I can use echolalia to communicate when I'm using my device, or typing on a notepad app. Sometimes my brain makes it extremely difficult to come up with my own words for feelings, so I "steal" a line from a fictional universe I like. These are scripts. I most recently used one when I was with my best friend, and I wanted to tell them to look at the ocean, because I thought it was pretty. Me being me, I took my script from Jules' special episode between season 1 and 2 of Euphoria. I used it to describe the ocean as "beautiful", so they would look at it. "I wish I was as beautiful as the ocean", I typed onto my notepad app. Was it a weird thing to say, especially since my best friend has never seen Euphoria (though they know the plot and details pretty well)? Yes. They looked at me quite odd for a second, but it communicated what I needed to say, and it got them to look at the ocean!

#echolalia #scripts #autism scripts #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autism #aac user #nonspeaking autistic #nonspeaking #aac device #disabled #neurodivergent experiences #autistic experiences #unmasked autism #unmasked autistic #aac users

267 notes · View notes

sweaters-and-vertigo · 1 year

Text

FULL OFFENSE TO NEUROTYPICALS because i hate how you guys tell me my autism/ADHD stims are rude or childish or whatever the fuck else. i’m literally just minding my own business, trying not to be under or overstimulated, but i shouldn’t twist my pens or something because it’s “rude”??

you’re the one being rude. it’s not my fault that you’re annoyed by something that doesn’t involve you. fuck off.

15 notes · View notes

wingedgardensheep · 1 year

Text

can we normalize not walking in a straight line because your focusing on talking and listening to music and it's too much for your brain.

#normalize this #dyslexia #neurodivergent experiences #neurodivergent problems #neurodivergent things #neurodivergent community

8 notes · View notes

drakonovisny · 2 years

Text

it just hit me that my problems with chewing food (i end up almost not chewing most foods at all, swallowing big pieces like a damn pelican) are linked to my pickiness in textures :o

#i just CAN'T physically eat stuff like boiled chicken skins‚ some pickled foods or seaweed for example #i end up gagging involuntarily #even when genuinely giving them another try unbiasedly #so i think during certain stages of chewing‚ the texture and the taste become overwhelming and i can't help but swallow them as is #i'm just so desensitized to this by this point that i don't even notice until i actively force myself to chew for longer #i guess i never connected the two until now because that inner feeling of:#''i need to swallow this right now! this is unbearable!!!''#didn't register as disgust‚ cause it wasn't followed by gagging #i don't really know what to do with this information now #this problem combined with my constantly ''happy hormones'' chasing neurodivergent brain (''give me something yummy‚ i'm bored!'' syndrome)#already caused me several health issues #guess it's time to re-evaluate which foods i actually like fully and not just tolerate for the taste...#love being a neurodivergent young adult discovering these things about myself after years of torturing myself #because i was never diagnosed properly as a kid 😔#this is probably oversharing but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i guess i'm just looking for connection with people with similar experiences #about me #neurodivergent experiences #autistic problems #adhd things #drunk posting

3 notes · View notes

beaniebabythenb · 2 years

Text

When I was younger and wasn't diagnosed at all (I'm now diagnosed with ASD and I'm pretty dang sure I have ADHD, but am not diagnosed) I would think it was impossible that I had ADHD because I can sit still (typical autistic literalism with figures of speech), but now that I've been observing my behaviors, I've realised that I get the zoomies like nobody's business.

#neurodiverse #actually autistic #autism #adhd #probably adhd #zoomies #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #neurodivergent experiences

2 notes · View notes