#need to catch up with season 5 eps
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the ladybug movie had me shook with this gorgeous Marinette dress!!
#marinette#marinette dupen chang#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug awakening#ml awakening#miraculous ladybug movie#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#I loved the wings so muuuuch#it's been a while since the last miraculous fanart I made but I still love it!!#need to catch up with season 5 eps
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Thoughts on NATLA so far (up to ep 5)
I'm really loving it!!! There are some parts where the pacing gets a bit slow but it makes up by hitting you out of left field with the feels.
Episode 4 is my favorite so far.
I absolutely LOVED this rendition of Sukka. What bisexual disasters, the pair of them.
ON THE FIRE NATION:
I absolutely LOVE the background story on the fire nation family, particularly the bond between zuko and iroh. It is presented completely different than in the OG, since the 'show don’t tell' of the original happens in Book 2 and here they use flashbacks, but it works. Still ended with me in waterworks. Also, I understand the logic behind showing all of the cards from the very get-go being that Netflix can cancel the show before it is renewed for another season, so it needed to make the best impression possible, show all the stakes but not reveal them in ther completion. I think they did that very well so far.
ZUKO IS SO AWKWARD I LOVE HIM
his expressions and reactions are just peak comedy. He is the embodiment of "😫😟" and I love that for him.
Dallas' performance is definitely one of my highlights.
ON KATARA AND SOKKA:
The thing that is the most foreign to me so far is the decision to improve Sokka's emotional stakes at the expense of Katara's. I like it but this has to be the element where the adaptation departs the most from the og. Like, in the cartoon it is Katara who bears the brunt of the responsibility taking care of the water tribe and her brother, which is why Sokka's sexism as a character flaw worked there. I can see now why they chose to drop that. With the script flipped like this, with Sokka being the main caretaker and provider between him and Katara, making him stay sexist would've been a bit too much. It is very different, but I like how they flipped the script between them.
What I did not like about this flip is that the change seems to affect Katara's character for the worse. She is not as outspoken or short-tempered as she was in the cartoon. It's almost the complete opposite. But I can definitely see the shyness and insecurity being the deliberate starting point of her arc. Now in ep 5, you can see her becoming more confident both in personality and bending. I think this was a conscious decision, but I still wish she had been written to be more headstrong from the very beginning.
That being said, I really appreciate how different the dynamic between Sokka and Katara is. I love how Katara is trying to get her independence while Sokka is still caught on the fact he has to be her protector, almost parent figure, which is a cool change of pace. One of the things that kinda bothered me as a young girl watching Avatar was that Katara was always stuck being the mom and sort of getting teased for it despite the fact no one else could or wanted to step up to that responsibility. It's cool to see Sokka bearing that responsibility as the eldest in the adaptation.
ON THE BLATANTLY MISSING KATAANG
You know, I don't hate this change. Aang and Katara's interactions are still pretty wholesome, and once they start catching feelings for each other, it will be super cute because you see where the love is truly coming from. It's not just Aang's childhood crush/Katara's "destiny", as it was presented it the cartoon. Besides it would have looked a little weird, considering that the age gap between Gordon and Kiawentiio is way more obvious on screen than it is right now when you see the interviews with the cast, because that kid Gordon is growing up SO fast.
OVERALL:
I am enjoying it very much! The adaptation is excellent. Despite some changes being quite big, they managed to capture most of the show's essence. I do believe it could have benefitted from a bit more balance between the comedy and the seriousness, particularly when it comes to Aang because he is mostly just weighted down by his responsibility in the adaptation, I don't see him joke as much, but in general and all limitations considered, I think they did an excellent job! It won't be for everyone, for sure, but I can say it has managed to bring back that feeling of watching the show for the first time again on some parts :)
#natla#natla review#natla spoilers#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#avatar netflix#avatar review#aang#zuko#katara#sokka#uncle iroh#azula#fire nation
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This Week in BL - 2 GREAT Shows but everything else is kinda blah
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Happy new year, BLabies!
Jan 2024 Wk 1
Ongoing Series - Thai
Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - This show is really earning its chops, and these actors are executing beautifully. I think this is a great BL, and it reminds me quite a bit of ATOTS, only the physical comfort between the actors is more genuine and easy to watch. Unfortunately a guitar came out. Nice communication tho.
That was a very lovely romantic sex scene. Very prettily done. Classy boys, very classy.
Gah what a beautiful final scene with Day saying the last thing he wants to see is Mhork. Pure unadulterated romance of the highest order.
The Sign (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - If killer, why hot? Poor Tarn compelled to try to rescue everyone else from their fate, because he cannot save himself from his.
Meanwhile Phaya is finally learning that you catch more water snakes with honey lube than vinegar.
Stellar confession from Phaya brutally honest and very fated mates.
And another lovely sex scene, so I guess that was a vision and not a fantasy Tharn had.
Lets be clear those two shows were GREAT everything else this week was kinda blah.
For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - I find the backstory very odd. Are they twins? What happened to Blue? Am I meant to care? Do I care?
Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 10 of 12 - I mostly just feel sorry for First. He’s so rightfully confused. Zee/Sprite keeps blowing hot and cold because they two different people! The after sex cuddle was cute.
Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 14 - Love getting more JeffAlan. Also I switch favorite character allegiances in the trash watch happening here.
Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 6 of 12 - Didn’t air this week and I hardly noticed.
You and My Stars YT 1 of 2(?) - school kids, love triangle, it’s cute enough.
My Universe (Sun iQIYI) 1626 ep 20 of 24 - Just so boring. 3/10
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - I’m not into the love triangle. Although I kind of like the new suitor, he’s honest and a good communicator. I appreciate these things in a BL boy. But I begin to wonder if triangles should be left for KBL. Also, this should have been an 8 epper, 10 is too long.
Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - No ep until Jan 12
I Became the Main Role of a BL (Japan Sun Gaga) ep 1-3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen - A rising star is paired with an (older) former child actor (doesn’t think he’s good enough) in a BL series. It’s fun, built on a dynamic of off screen paralleling the on screen, so near constantly meta. All the tropes are there but are as a result of the filming process. The star turns out to be obsessed with the former actor and very dorky about it. In fact, everyone in this show is a little gremlin weirdo (affectionate). There’s tons of scenery chewing miscommunication drama, slapstick, voice over head hopping, and eccentric sides characters. “And he comes with feathers” applies to a number of my friends. You know I don’t like stories around fan obsession, but otherwise this was enjoyable. 8/10
A nice start to the JBL year. Keep em coming, Japan.
It's done I Need to Catch up
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have a spare day.
It's Airing But...
[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.
Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.
Night Dream (Sat YT) 6 eps - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF
The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.
7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.
Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?
In Case You Missed it
All my year end round ups (so far) are as follows:
TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023
Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023
2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10
Best Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere
BL 2023 - Cute Bits of Domesticity
BL 2023 - Boys Feeding Boys
BL 2023 - BOOP!
All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen
Next Week Looks Like This
Starting This Week:
1/9 Time the series (Thai Gaga, WeTV, Channel 3) 10 eps - MFlow Entertainment brings us yet another "fix the past" narrative. After witnessing the gunning down of his beloved, a heartbroken actor uses a magic pocket watch to go back in time and discover the truth and maybe fix it.
1/11 Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Gaga) - Soga, who, after a divorce and relocation to Osaka, seeks solace in dining at 26-year-old Sakae's restaurant. Unbeknownst to Soga, Sakae sees him as more than just a regular customer.
More Coming Jan 2024
Beside You (Thai YouTube)
Love For Love's Sake (Korea ????)- based on the Manhwa ‘Love Supremacy Zone’ by Hwacha. A young man is dropped into a game based off a novel he loves. His mission is to make another player, YeoWoon happy. But then the game starts unfolding completely different from the novel.
Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan ????) - five years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so... probubly not. I won't be watching this.
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
Yes, you SHOULD apologize!
This was a FANTASTIC moment! Last Twilight
Night Dream referencing the Shrimp Trope.
Some didn't like this bit BUT I love a claiming moment, even in a briefing room... especially there.
I ALSO love a good Grandma Moment in a BL.
Such a good sex scene. The Sign
(Last week)
#two great sex scenes this week!#both from thailand#thai bl#Last Twilight#The Sign#this week in bl#bl updates#the sign the series#for him the series#Twins the series#I Became the Main Role of a BL#Japanese BL#BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen#BL series review#taiwanese bl#PitBabe#Night Dream
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The truth is in TAS and Xmen97 (I'm talking about cartoons only) Gambit had never had eyes on anyone except Rogue. He was never married to Belladonna in TAS and never showed any signs that he still had feelings for her or wanted to come back to her (voluntarily). Rogue, on other hand, had almost run away with Cody (but didn't want to be a reptile in the end), had come to Magneto the first day he appeared in school, rejected Gambit for Magneto. Yes, Gambit and Rogue weren't official, they didn't own each other, noone cheated on anyone physically. But emotionally Rogue did, she did cheat on her feelings for Gambit.
With Rogue's fixation on physical contact (her ultimate dream and goal in relationship) her actions are quite understandable. It's just that it was badly executed. She was shown as ping-pong ball between men, who didn't know what she wanted. So frustration in her character is also quite understandable.
And, yes, Gambit shouldn't criticize Rogue for hiding her past as every member of the team has secrets, him including. But I couldn't find any other faults.
Howdy! ✨
Oh, that is a good point! I will admit I had my wires partially crossed with the comics on this one - in the TAS Gambit and Bella Dona weren’t married, they were engaged. And in all honesty, TAS (both the original series and ‘97) treated Gambit way better than the ups and downs he had in comics.
Even so, the full context is that they weren’t together, they weren’t committed to each other in any way. In the original series they flirted and entertained the idea of feelings but never sat down to decide if they wanted to be more to each other. He might have said ‘I love you’ and ‘Your powers are not a problem to me’, but his words are weighed against his actions. And I think that’s something people forget when judging Rogue’s situation. Gambit is afraid of commitment - most of the time he is afraid of being serious about the things he feels. And that leaves Rogue with a strange ‘we’re dancing around each other, but nothing is THAT serious.’ (regardless if it’s because he wants to give her space and not scare her off, or if it’s because he doesn’t want to catch himself with how much she means to him). So I would argue that Rogue is not only showing interest in someone that she can touch, but also in someone who looks at her with honesty when it comes to their feelings. (the case for both Cody and Magneto)
Another thing that I absolutely agree with is that, yes, the show is guilty of doing a poor job of balancing the way in which it portrays both ends of their struggles. Whatever Remy does is wrapped in a tone that makes the audience feel bad for him, and always focuses on his wish to be better and redeem himself. It's always in his service (also because it needs people to care about him so that his moment in Ep.5 can hit hard). When Rogue is shown navigating her emotions and insecurities the audience is told that she is in the wrong. THAT is what people should be taking out of it and should be talking about, not nodding their heads along and calling her a cheater.
Hope it’s ok for me to say it, but I completely disagree with your statement that she is cheating (and especially on her feelings). We need to step out of this internalised double standards we have when we talk about cheating. In Season 3 when she leaves with Cody there was no commitment so there is no cheating. In ‘97 she has feelings for both men and people need to accept it, she is not cheating on any of them and not cheating herself. She is trying to understand what she wants (under a lot of pressure based on how fast the events in episode 5 were unfolding) while also trying to be honest with both of them. She isn’t acting on her feelings until after she has spoken with both (and when it happens, layers of guilt are added to her confusion). Also I’d go one step further and say that no, she didn’t reject Gambit for Magneto. In Episode 5 she went to Gambit to tell him about her past and say that she wants to be part of the future, do something that is not just about herself in Genosha. I’d actually argue that he’s the one that’s making it about their relationship instead by asking her to pick on an emotional level. He’s the one calling it quits.
I guess the question that it all boils down to is ‘what are we calling cheating’, right? Having feelings for more than one person without acting on it - is it considered cheating? Not in my books.
Emotions are not simple ‘white and black’ statements. They are messy and extremely difficult to navigate. And for some reason we refuse to understand that or allow female characters to navigate that without passing judgement. Because heteronormativity tells us that if you love someone you love only them, and at the same time male characters are allowed to have flaws while female characters aren’t. It’s what’s happening with Rogue. It’s what’s happening with Jean. Because in the middle of all the confusion, grief and pain she leaped at something that could give her comfort by trying to kiss Logan, she is held accountable for the smallest attempt to explore her emotions while being ridiculed for daring to be upset at Scott.
There is also much that I want to say in defense of both Gambit and Scott but the internet has that covered (and then some) so I will just continue to be bitter about how female characters are perceived. 🙃But also, to the last point that you brought up, there are things in the way he reacted to Rogue during the fireplace scene that should be seen through a critical lens: the fact that he refused to look at her while she went on her knees asking him to meet her half way, the fact that his ‘I played the swamp rat’ was thrown at her in a hurtful/guilt tripping way that absolved him of the consequences of his decisions in whatever game they were playing, that in the end he told her she chose ‘wrong’ and that she would suffer for it - ‘he’ll break your heart’). But all of those speak of his own hurt, regrets and low self-worth and I loved him SO MUCH for it in that scene because I love flaws and growth in a character. The problem is that those are all subtle things that get put under the umbrella of ‘love’ in media, while being insecure and coming to terms with the fact that we can love different people for different reasons is vilified.
Hope that my answer wasn’t too much of a turn off - I am guilty of starting a thought and writing a million words about it. And I am thankful for the ask because it opens up a conversation and corrects context that would otherwise be swept aside by us looking at just the parts of a whole.
#x men#x men 97#x men '97#rogue#gambit#remy lebeau#anna marie#marvel#x men the animated series#textpost#romy#fandom critical
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times they call/insinuate angel is gay/“too feminine for a man”/is attractive to men, in ats - Season 1
ep 1 A manager says to Angel he is a very beautiful man, and he wants to represent him. "Call me, this isn't a come-on"
ep 2 In the club, Angel has to "search for someone that's in trouble" and everyone thinks he is just flirting, including a man, Angel tells him "seriously I wasn't hitting on you"
ep 3 Spike, while watching him from afar, makes a LONG hilarious joke about him being gay, and caring too much about his hair and using “nancy boy hair gel”.
Later while fighting, Spike says to Angel "What’s next ? Vampire cowboy ? Vampire fireman ? Oh, vampire ballerina?" to which Angel responds "I do like to work with my legs" and kicks him
ep 4 Doyle legit admits he is attracted to him
ep 5 Cordy: "do you have (hair)mousse?... of course you do"
ep 6 Mafia boss calls him “nancy boy”. Angel hits him with a chair.
Also, there's a joke where Cordy nags Angel for not noticing her new shoes, Angel is about to say that "men don't notice that staff" when Doyle enters and says to her "Nice shoes!". This is a 'Doyle =gay' joke but it also shows Angel has funny ideas of what makes you a man, and it's funny that the entire plot of the ep is about repressing emotions, and unwinding when you touch a magic stick.
ep 7 Angel and Doyle going to fight a vamp nest is paralleled with Cordy going on a romantic date. Doyle: “everyone has dinner plans”.
The first thing the new husband of Doyle’s ex does when he comes in, is insist on how handsome Angel is. (Doyle’s ex had also just met him, didn’t say a thing, neither did other women this ep)
ep 8, 9, 10 and 11 I didn’t catch any
ep 12 friends of Cordelia meet Wesley and Angel for the first time, the way they act and respond to their flirting and invitations to a party makes them think they are gay “the good ones are always gay” one says. Angel is not bothered about it, Wesley a little. Later they have this conversation in which Angel seems to have noticed that insecurity, and he says to Wesley that the girls liked him, that his clumsiness was charming, and that the fact they think they are gay adds mystery
(also why does angel quickly bit his lip, looks him up and down, and smiles to him like that??? asdfasdfasd)
ep 13 (refer to this post bc it needs context) in short yeah a guy is definitely attracted to him
ep 14 nothing again I guess
ep15 Kate’s dad asks her if Angel is gay, she laughs and says "no, he is just not my type, or I'm not his type".
Also, it felt like the dialogs were specially 'supernatural=queer' this episode, and he WAS getting homophobia by Kate lmao
"you don't get to kill a demon in front of me and then act like we are going to have a cappuccino together"
"No offense, I know you are probably a decent guy for, you know, what you are..."
"If you insist on talking about this, can you pls not call it that? It makes me uncomfortable.(don't say demon) say evil thing"
"What? they are evil things that are not evil? - well yeah(me) - OH right, sorry"
Then the scenes of his father calling him a disappointment make it even more uuughhh, and then he says "It was a son I wished for, a man! Instead, god gave me you".
All scenes from his past as human point to him being a fuck boy, meaning that, even if not queer, in a way, he also didn't follow the conventional norms of romance or sexuality. But it's also funny to point out the first thing he does as a vampire is feed from a man, to which Darla says "now you can have anyone you want"
ep 16 Cordelia ends up saying “if anyone is wearing a push-up bra here its-- Angel!” when Angel surprises her entering the room, (Also, Wesley describes a type of demon that howls when they are preparing to fight or mate, next scene angel is fighting them while they howl(they appear male), I know this one is a reach, but I’m putting it here bc it made me laugh).
ep 17 so he reads girl-celebs magazines and remembers this rumor about an actor? sure
also this ep Cordy(known fashion lover) compliment's Angelus fashion sense "Angelus would never wear those pants".
In the buffyverse they say everything is the same without the soul except there's no guilt, meaning no repression about what he would like to wear. So if it hadn't been obvious from before, Angel is also a fashion lover, except repressed about it.
ep 18 there was nothing much here except if you count that Darla asks him "have you met someone else?" no gender-specific.
And/or this interaction with Linsdey cuz come on the tension, the banter, the 'was it necessary getting this close?'
ep 19 Again nothing textual unless you count that Wesley risks his life and goes against the Watchers council for him, even if it means helping someone he hates(Faith), and his loyalty to Angel is called a perversion(also how does angel look so small here??asdfsas)
ep 20 two little things, first, does this joke "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" Angel says to intimidate a guy count? lol
Second, in this ep they get paid to search for blackmail pictures of a guy who went to a demon script club, after Angel takes them back Wesley looks at them, and he seems weirded out. Angel is besides him and only with a quick look he is able to tell the pictures are upside down, Wesley turns them and looks at them again, he says "oh, I can't imagine it was pleasant" to which angel makes this face like uhm???
In any case I put it here cuz even if its not an "angel=gay" moment it certainly shows he has experience with Unconventional sex staff
eps 21 and 22 I didn't catch anything, but in the last ep the "supernatural= other(queer/disabled/etc)" thing is easier to see. Because there's Kate again with the irrational hate like "I'll rid the city of your kind" etc just after Angel saves someone.
And the last scene shows the way your friends don't mind the "weird" parts of you even if you or most people do
a super endearing moment that happens just before the show promises Angel that he will "as a reward" be normal eventually, which weird, cuz then, Is the message of the story that you can find peace by finding a mission and loved ones who accept you as you are? or is it you can find peace only as long as you are useful to the normal 'innocent' people around you, and you work toward being normal? idk
#I think I started this after I saw a lot of comments on yt in a random vid calling angel straight#like how dare you insult him like that#sadfasdfsadfsdf#but I kept the bit going cuz it was funny#ats#angel ats#angel btvs#btvs#also disclaimer cuz I've seen lot of rotten staff out there#I'm not including things like: this character acts like a mother this character is saved by others a lot#or this character likes pink or cooks or is shirtless a lot#cuz those are just gender stereotypes that actually are just human things not femenine or masculine#not inherent in men or women#so I don't believe a male character having or doing staff society considers feminine means they ARE gay or feminine#lol thats so backwards#those staff only get in the list if another character or the show somehow explicitly classifies them#as a sign of being 'too feminine for a man' or gay#this attempts to be from the show's perspective
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Death In Paradise And How The Show or Shows Have Unknowingly Made Beautiful Autism Representation An Eassay By An Autistic Person
Introduction
I never get this personal or sappe but hi I'm Mel and just recently I got my Autism diagnosis. Recently I've been trying to discover who I am and what parts were just lies after realising i have been making and trying to imitate and please people my entire life.
I started watching Death In Paradise at the end of Season 10 my Mum had it on the tv and I thought it was interesting so I started watching. I then watched the first Christmas special and fell in love even more before giving season 11 a watch. Really loved all the characters and especially loved the characters, the visuals and the mystery aspect. Infact it made murder mysteries/who dunnits become one of my special interests. Started watching Beyond Paradise and some of the earlier seasons with Richard Poole.
Two things have made me realise why I probably love Death In Paradise since I have gotten my Autism diagnosis.
1: I was discussing the series finale with a fan who has sadly but understandably deleted their twitter account about how all the DI'S especially Neville when he was flashing back to the scene he was arrested found myself relatable as I replay my memories like that.
2: Martha's breakup monologue as heartbreaking as it was to Humphrey because she's absolutely out of line since they could adopt but her gut reaction is absolutely right. She has treated Humphrey appallingly not communicating with him about his feelings till that moment and not being honest with Humphrey resulting in him being dishonest in return. I am a people pleaser and will often think about others happiness before my own and Humphrey impulsively agreeing to move to Shipton Abbott is a good example as he really struggled setting in. Martha is right Humphrey is awkwardly nice to everyone even the police commissioner who I would have no patience with.
Now I realise that I am invested in these shows not just for the mysteries and the who dunnit element but to see Autistic people like me have human struggles in a very stressful job.
Even though I'm on a very different career path to all the DI'S as an Autistic person I think all the DI's are Autistic and show their own unique struggles. This is why I fell in love with the character of the Doctor to. If the DI'S aren't cannon Autistic they're definitely Autistic coded and it's my headcannon and I'm over riding the bbc on this one because when we see the way Autism is represented on screen within other white male characters I can see that Neville, Jack, Humphrey and Richard ain't no Rainman or Sheldon Cooper or Good Doctor which is why I feel so represented through these characters.
So with from what I've seen I would like to break down each DI that has been on the show and essentially justify why I have head cannoned all of the DI'S as Autistic.
1: DI Richard Poole
There are so many things that make me think he's Autistic I'm up to S2 Episode 7 of Death In Paradise as I'm wanting to catch up and as soon as this man came on screen I knew that there was no way in heck that Richard Poole is just neurodivergent grumpy english man as Camille would put it. One of the episodes I related to was Season 2 Episode 5 because if there's one thing I struggle with as an Autistic person its giving people the correct comfort they need.
Which links perfectly to my first point.
1: Richard And Emotion
Constantly throughout the first two seasons we see Richard struggle to communicate his emotions and hide how he's feeling. When sad things come up in s2 ep 5 and when he's asked to hold baby Rosie for the first time he struggles to display how he's truly feeling and how best to react. It shines especially when he asks Dwayne how he comforted Camille. I think Season 2 Episode 6 and Episode 5 was the first time we'd properly seen Richard sort of embrace the sand and open up emotionally.
2: Sensory Needs
Similar to Neville he makes it very clear that he does not enjoy the loud festivals on the island. He seems most comfortable up in his shack secluded reading a good book and chilling out.
He also seems to wear no summer clothes on the island as despite the heat he only seems comfortable with suits. Personally I struggle with being in bare t shirts and shorts so I can definitely relate to the fact. Richard seems definitely like one of those people who doesn't climatise for the summer and will not wear coats in the winter.
Overall an absolutely amazing relatable character.
2: DI Humphrey Goodman
I haven't gotten to S3 with Humphrey yet but I can also see relatable Autistic Representation in him. This is all based on from what I've seen in Beyond Paradise Humphrey wants to please and get on with everyone so he often hides his own emotions and puts others first. I can also see that he stims, forgets stuff if there's a change in routine and burnout hits him hard. I think he was partly burnout as the falling out with Martha must have been quite exhausting.
Masking is a huge thing with Humphrey so in my head cannon I think people including Humphrey have dismissed him being Autistic as just him being quirky. In my opinion the beyond paradise finale and episode five showed just how much Humphrey represses his emotions and then when it comes to burst it's bad.
1: Masking and Socializing
Humphrey throughout the beyond paradise series constantly tries to hide his uncomfortableness with Archie being around and his feelings about Martha stopping IVF. I know he came around and was sincere in the finale but I honestly think he wanted to pretend he felt ok with it so he wouldn't lose Martha.
Social wise he is also very awkward with people and struggles to communicate what he wants them to feel. Fights and conflicts seem to also exhaust Humphrey. Talking to Esther in Episode Five he admits he doesn't know how to feel about Martha not wanting kids and can't stop thinking about it. Infact he's so distracted by his fight with Martha that he can barely help Esther with the case. I'm often overwhelmed with socialising and go away to relax and think things through is definitely a coping mechanism I use.
2: Stiming And Info-Dumping
A form of stiming I picked up from Doctor Who was flapping my hands about when I'm talking and rambling. Humphrey out of all of the detective's seems to do this the most even when not talking about the solutions to a case.
He also is very passionate when talking about his special interests. I also think the way in the beyond paradise series he pictures the crime in his head and relives it whilst explaining it to Esther is very not neurotypical I view memories and emotions in my head like that sometimes.
Overall a very relatable character regarding his social skills and his need to people please.
3: DI Jack Mooney
This is going to be very short as I haven't seen much of Jack Mooney due to the fact I'm on S2 of my Death In Paradise rewatch but even the three episodes I watched whilst it was rerunning alongside Beyond Paradise I got very not neurotypical vibes from him.
The episode where he's rooming with Dwayne shows his struggle to interrupt other people's emotions, read social cues and understand the right moment to intrude on a conversation. It's absolutely hilarious when he just walks in on Darlene and Dwaynes date without considering that it's not an appropriate time. Not to mention when he interrupted Dwayne from his shower.
Through all three episodes I saw I can tell that he really struggles with grief so Florence is a good friend that he can consol. She helps him realise what stuff might make the shack feel more comfortable and friendly, like having a record player etc.
If any Autistic DIP fans want to reblog this and share their own thoughts about why they headcannon Jack as Autistic.
4: DI Neville Parker
Ah Neville Parker a character that I can definitely see myself in especially after season 12. Although I started watching from half of season 10 I still have enough reasoning to justify my headcannon. The way Neville organisises his meds and takes rejection from other people shows. Although you don't have to be Autistic to experience and anxiety Neville from what I've seen definitely overlaps with both.
Similar to Richard he seems to really struggle with the environment but at least have the sense to not where his blazer all the time and change into island built clothes off shift. Season 12 shows that Neville has adapted so well to the island that if he was put anywhere else like a prison cell its nerve racking and difficult for him. Not to mention from my own experience I've switched off when I'm sad or when something too difficult to process has happened and Neville does just that at the end of S12 through the Sophie or should I say Rebecca situation.
1: Lack Of Red Flags + Social Cues
Season 12 showed that because of Nevilles desire to have a relationship with someone and get over Florence he was unable to ignore the red flags about Sophie until he was in jail for her murder. Ok I'm pretty sure not all of the neurotypical Death In Paradise fans didn't fall for Sophies scheme but like Neville I truly felt no bad vibes from her until the very end. I haven't seen the red flags till to late and its costs me my mental health.
Neville seems to really struggle how to communicate his feelings as also seen by his crush on Florence.
2: Stimming + Special Interests
Throughout the show Neville is very rigid he fidgets and waves his arms about enthusiastically when he has found out who the killer is.
Throughout the show we can also see that Neville is a passionate reader and loves Star gazing. He was absolutely thrilled to info dump about the famous star gazer that has been unalived. We see he struggles with stuff outside of his limits and will glady lovingly share fun fact with his team.
3: Emotions/Shutdown
As mentioned Neville tends to become quiet when he's upset and shutdown. We can see throughout the case in episode 8 he's not entirely there till he confronts Sophie for the final time.
Neville insanely loses his enthusiasm and energy after he's arrested. If you look back he does not instigate any of the conversations whilst he's in the cell unless it's Sophie. Most people would react screaming and yelling when arrested but Neville is just too shocked to move. As an Autistic person I've had a shutdown only once but I definitely relate that if I was arrested I would just be frozen in panic not wanting to upset anyone.
Being quiet seems to be one of Nevilles best coping skills when something immensely stressful has happened.
Again when he had that freeze frame recalling when he was arrested and who could have switched the keys it seemed very relatable and not neurotypical. Not to mention a lot of Autistic people have a high sense of justice which could explain Neds fearless anger and frustration at the end of Ep 7.
Conclusion
I think even if coded having Autistic representation that's not cis white man super intelligent with no struggles is impactful its also why I want a black or biracial DI on the show as it would be even more impactful.
Honestly all the DIS being Autistic or on the neurodiverse spectrum as a whole adds to alot of the fish out of water element of the show.
I highly encourage reblogs as i assume I'm not the only autistic or neurodivergent fan of the show.
-Melody-
They/Them
#beyond paradise#death in paradise#humphrey goodman#neville parker#richard poole#jack mooney#beyond paradise spoilers#actually autistic#neurodivergent
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Maddy’s Top Five Favorite TMNT Episodes from Every Series!
Welcome to my ranking list! My first of many, hopefully! I even spiced things up and made it all fancy with the different font! 😂 god I’m getting old.
A while ago I made a PowerPoint presentation for fun about the history of the TMNT and the franchise. From that point it led to me gaining a spot in a YouTube video series discussing the movies leading up to the premier of Mutant Mayhem, and it’s been one of the best things to happen to me despite the terrible stuff I’ve gone through.
TMNT really saved me at the lowest point of my life in the winter of 2022. It inspired me to go back to Tumblr. I met and befriended incredibly talented people in this fandom. And I’ve found a reason to be happy again because of it. The pain of losing my big sister still aches, and I miss her more each passing day, but I know she’d tell me to get off my ass and do what made me happy.
So for my birthday this weekend, I’ll share this with you guys to celebrate something that brought me joy through all this pain. ❤️🩹
Let’s talk turtles! 💙💜❤️🧡
Lemme explain the criteria for this real fast;
The episode had to have come from a current/ up to date show. It has to be fully completed!
The episodes have to catch my interest and the plot needs to be gripping! The angstier the better!
Any of the series episodes are candidates for a win! Except for certain ones that I’d rather not watch 🤣
SPOILERS BEWARE! Cuz… well, I dunno who’s finished the shows and I don’t wanna ruin the surprise for others!
Also, this never would have been possible without @jadethest0ne for inspiring me! Thank you for all you do in the TMNT fandom, your art/ analyses are wonderful!!! Please go give them support!!
Onto the list proper! Starting with the series that started it all: 1987!
The Maltese Hamster ( Season 3 Ep. 4 ) An excellent Donatello solo episode that takes the tone of a detective noir movie, but keeping the fun vibe of the show! Donnie gets to take center stage for once, April gets to use a laser gun, and the shift in tone sets the mood really well! It’s downright harrowing to watch a building collapse on Donnie and see him limping away from the scene in agony, passing out at Irma’s feet, trying to save his brothers despite the odds. Donnie’s my favorite turtle for a reason!
Raphael Meets His Match ( Season 4 Ep. 17 ) The first appearance of Mona Lisa, and I can see why the fans adore this ship so much! The chemistry between Mona and Raph throughout this one episode is really telling of how impactful one character can be to a franchise! Mona is really fun! She’s not just a token ‘girl character’ trope or an archetype, she can handle herself and kick ass alongside the turtles, plus she and Raph have some pretty witty banter together!
Beware The Lotus ( Season 3 Ep. 28 ) The introduction of Lotus Blossom! It’s speculated that the inspiration for Karai came from Lotus! Lotus and Leo had great chemistry together, it's a shame we only got two episodes to spend with her. She really is an interesting character with loads of story potential about finding your place in the world, discovering who you are, changing your destiny to make it what you want. This is me basically saying I am now part of the Lotus Blossom Fan Club.
Cowabunga, Shredhead! ( Season 3 Ep. 18 ) This is one of the fan favorite episodes, and after I watched it for the first time I could not stop laughing. James Avery does his best Mikey impression while playing the over the top Shredder, and everyone just accepts it??? It’s downright genius! The meme material from this one is plentiful!
Michelangelo Meets Mondo Gecko ( Season 5 Ep. 4 ) The introduction of Mondo himself, and he’s got a really cool design! On first viewing I was pleasantly surprised by his unique color scheme and his character! He’s a bad guy that gets a redemption arc by the end of the episode! I was rooting for him the whole time! It was this debut that made me adore Mondo, and he’s since become my favorite mutant character of the franchise!
Honorable Mentions are Donatello’s Duplicate and Turtlemaniac!
Next up is a controversial one, but I gotta be honest… ‘03 isn’t my favorite series for a lot of reasons, but I will admit! When this series had fantastic episodes, they were AMAZING. So I gotta give credit when due and give kudos to these wins!
The Shredder Strikes Back Parts One and Two ( Season 1 Episodes 17-18 ) Nothing really tops how good this show was in the first season, and these episodes take the comic storyline of Leo’s beatdown and bring it to life masterfully. For Leo’s segments of part one it’s spent mostly with no dialogue— the animation and music carrying how serious the scene is as Leo has to fight for his life against the Foot and how desperate he becomes as he grows weaker and weaker. The second episode is non-stop action as the rest of the turtles, Splinter, April and Casey have to fend off the Foot and Shredder as they fight for their lives in the antique shop. This is one of Michael Sinterniklass’s BEST performances as Leo in these episodes. The stakes are higher than ever before, the animation is gorgeous, and everyone gives it their all for this epic mid-season finale.
Same As It Never Was ( Season 3 Ep. 21 ) This is the episode I would tell people to watch if they think TMNT is just kiddie trash.
Bad Blood ( Season 6 Ep. 12 ) Probably the Fast Forward concept I wish got expanded on instead of giving it two standalone stories and dropping it entirely. It’s a cool idea that I wish got touched upon more often because, yeah, what would evil clones of the turtles look like? What kind of abilities could they have? There’s infinite possibilities! I could live without the new catchphrase ‘It's Ninja Time’ though. While Fast Forward is flawed, this episode was the one I thoroughly liked!
Insane in the Membrane ( Season 4 Ep. 19 ) The infamously banned episode, and all I have to say about it is two words. Holy. Shit.
The Real World Part One ( Season 3 Ep. 22 ) Any team-up with Usagi Yojimbo is a good one, and this was such a delight! It’s loosely based on one of the Usagi stories from the comics, and I loved how badass they made both Usagi and Tomoe! Leo and Usagi have great chemistry as always, and you can tell they have a strong bond with one another as warriors! Or boyfriends depending on how you interpret their relationship but honestly I totally see where everyone is coming from, THESE TWO ARE ADORABLE DORKS.
Next up is my all-time favorite incarnation of the franchise, 2012!! I have A LOT to say about so many of the episodes but alas, I could only choose five to discuss. One day… one day I shall make a thesis about it 🤣 for now however, here’s my top five faves from this series!
The Yojimbo Trilogy ( Season 5 Episodes 7-9 ) Oh. My. God. YES. The love letter to Stan Sakai’s comics, the beautiful homage to vintage Japanese cinema with the camera framework and action, and OH MY LORD, THE COLORS AND SHADING DURING USAGI’S FIGHT WITH JAY IN THE FINALE???? THAT’S CINEMA! Excellent voice acting by Yuki Matsuzaki, which was his first English speaking role and personally chosen by Sakai himself to play the ronin rabbit! My only complaint is that I wish we’d gotten more of the Yojimbo characters in here, like Tomoe or Gen! Otherwise I can watch all three of these episodes on repeat and always get excited!
Lone Rat and Cubs ( Season 5 Ep. 10 ) The final appearance of Splinter, the episode Kevin Eastman wrote, and a beautiful send-off to this character. It’s a flashback, yes, but this is the episode we get to see Yoshi adapting to his mutation as a rat, raising his boys, trying to be a good father and struggling to survive from the Krang. It’s a part of his life we rarely ever get to see, and this episode shows us why he was a great father. Basically it's a try not to cry challenge. For me, THIS episode is the series finale because it’s just a perfect conclusion to Splinter and his story.
Requiem/Owari ( Season 4 Episodes 25-26 ) The finale to the overall series, the finale to this overarching story, and it’s just as heartbreaking and suspenseful as you’d expect. The writers don't hold back their punches, and it shows that the gloves have finally come off. The characters we’ve come to love and care for are at their breaking point, the Shredder is the most threatening he’s ever been, and the team decides it’s time to put the monster down for good. Whoever thinks this show was just ‘kiddie trash’ needs to be sat down and shown this two-parter, because GODDAMN. Ciro Nieli treated this with so much care and respect. I cannot help but adore the team who put this together because the stakes have been raised to an all-time high, and the final showdown between Shredder and the turtles here is hair-raising, all reaching its climax when Leonardo finishes Oroku Saki by beheading him. It’s powerful, it’s devastating, and it’s a damn excellent showcase of why this series was the best iteration of the franchise to date.
The Fourfold Trap ( Season 3 Ep. 23 ) Yet another homage to a horror movie, only this time it’s a lot more intense. Based on Saw, this episode makes you sit on the edge of your seat as you can only hope that the turtles will escape the traps Karai’s put them in. It’s all nerve wracking to watch on a first viewing experience, POOR DONNIE OH MY GOD, CAN WE STOP PUTTING THIS BOY IN ELECTROCUTION DEVICES???? He still manages to create a plan to save his brothers even while he’s being electrocuted! Also, SPLINTER IS BEST RAT DAD. This episode will teach you the meaning of ‘angsty dread’ and ‘overwhelming anxiety.’
Trans-Dimensional Turtles ( Season 4 Ep. 10 ) THE TURTLES FOREVER WE DESERVED BUT WE DIDN'T GET UNTIL CIRO NIELI HOOKED US UP WITH THE BEST CROSSOVER WE’VE EVER BEEN BLESSED WITH! The OG turtles are all so much fun to see again both in and out of 2D, Gilbert Godfried is always a delight, the 2012 turtles in traditional 2D animation is awesome, and ALL THE OG VOICE ACTORS ARE HERE AND CLEARLY HAVING THE TIMES OF THEIR LIVES. THE ROB PAULSEN JOKE IS LITERALLY A BLESSING XD I only wish it had been longer!
Honorable Mentions are Slash and Destroy, Pizza-Face, Within the Woods and Mutant Gangland!
And rounding it off is the last— but certainly not least— series, Rise!! I adore this one!! It’s right behind 2012 as my favorite TMNT series just for the stellar animation!! It’s such a shame that this one had to end so unfairly, but today I’m giving it the love it deserves!! Please note that I have yet to complete season two of ROTTMNT cuz my life has been crazy hectic and I haven’t had the time, but once I do, I’ll go back and update this section if I find more episodes I liked!
Raph’s Ride Along ( Season 2 Ep. 8A ) Ummmmmm the 2012 VA’s playing parody versions of their turtles as yokai criminals??? HELL YEAH. If only they got Astin to play a character though! Then we would’ve had a reverse Turtles Forever reunion! I came out of this episode really loving the Mud Dogz as characters and wanting more, especially Dastardly Danny cuz Rob Paulsen is always a win! Too bad this show got canned before we could really get to know these guys. BUT HEY! That’s what the fandom is for! 🤣
Insane in the Mama Train ( Season 1 Episode 25 ) When I watched this series blind, this episode blew my mind. Seeing something so well done had me screaming in joy with how expertly this episode was crafted. The stellar action choreography, the great comedic elements splashed in to lighten the tense mood, the ANIMATION OH MY LORD. Disney, take notes. And that ending leaves a pit in my stomach every time, like OOOOF, those expressions! That sudden tonal swap!
Mystic Library ( Season 1, Ep. 20A ) Probably my favorite comedy episode! The timing for the jokes in this one specifically is so well done, and every single one had me in tears. I’ve been trying to commit Donnie’s library rap to memory but alas, I’ve been failing.
The Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle ( Season 2 Episode 10B ) THIS. MORE OF THIS PRETTY PLEASE. It's just SO MUCH FUN. I really don’t have anything else to say other than this one is a great treat, also, the reanimated fan cut of this is spectacular!!
Snow Day ( Season 1 Ep. 23B ) This, for me, is the Christmas special of the series even though it’s in no way related to the holiday or has anything to do with it BUT I DON’T CARE LET ME DREAM. I love this one for the adorable interactions and the bonding! Seeing the characters goofing off and having fun, enjoying the weather and spending time together outside of the angst? I CRAVE FLUFF LIKE THIS.
And Tada! There it is! I hope you liked this!! It was tons of fun to compile all my favorite episodes into one project and share my thoughts! This fandom has been nothing but fantastic and I’m proud to be in it!
Thank you to all who have inspired me to keep going and pursue my dreams. You guys are great! @queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @wasted-and-ready @tmnt-tychou @mermmarie @figuringitoutasigoalong @lameboobah @zandiiangelspit @pumpkinpie59 @indieyuugure @angelicdavinci @imagine4000
And thank you to my IRL friends who have pulled me to my feet and supported me. Not only are you guys the best people I know, but I consider you guys family. You really saved me last year. I’m honored to call you my friends 💓
What are your favorite episodes?? Lemme know!! 😁 Maybe I’ll do a movie ranking next!
Cowabunga!! Have a great day!! 💚💚
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 1987#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#maddys ramblings#tmnt analysis
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The Offering, Finan x Luna Part 5
Warnings: Mature. Minors DNI
Summary: Sihtric abandons Uhtred. Finan reveals his past to Luna as danger lurks ahead of them. Setting is Season 3 Ep. 6-7.
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“Osferth!!!” Finan whispered sharply as he exited the chamber door. “I will kill ya if you ever interrupt the pleasuring of my woman again!”
“I’m sorry Finan, I didn’t mean to interrupt your… pleasuring,” Osferth replied, “It was an emergency.”
Finan rolled his eyes. “I know it, baby monk. Luna is going to be devastated. How could Sihtric do this?” He said with his sharp Irish tongue.
As soon as the words came out of Finan’s mouth, Luna exited into the hallway as well. “When did he leave?” She asked, “We can catch up to him!”
Osferth looked at her sadly. “I think he left in the middle of the night, lady.” He replied to her.
Luna looked at Finan with tears in her eyes. He felt immediately powerless seeing her sadness. He hated it.
“Luna, I’m sorry… I had no idea he would actually leave.” Finan said.
“I know…I didn’t think so either. It’s not your fault. I don’t understand why he would leave me. Leave us all. He will surely die in battle if he joins the Dane’s army. I can feel it.” She replied.
Finan looked into her eyes deeply and didn’t respond.
“Lady, what happened?” Osferth inquired as he looked at the red marks across her chest and neck, coupled with the flush in her cheeks.
Finan rolled his eyes again and shoved Osferth away. “Get out of here, baby monk. We will talk later.”
Meanwhile, Sihtric had schemed the Danish prisoners into thinking he had betrayed Uhtred in order to enter the camp as a spy, and it had worked. Sihtric prayed to the gods that his sister would remain safe, but he was confident that Finan would take care of her.
When Sihtric had arrived at the camp, they received his betrayal well as he gave them information about Uhtred and the other men.
“Tell me this, boy,” Haestan exclaimed, “Did Uhtred and the Irishman take one of our women from the battlefield? I am missing one of them.”
“No, I did.” Sihtric replied. “She is my half-sister.”
Haestan laughed. “Luna is Kjartan’s daughter? How sweet, the two of you reunited!”
Sihtric kept himself calm as his heart rate increased. “I do not care much for her,” Sihtric said, “But yes, Finan took her for his own.”
Haestan became serious for a moment. “Oh really?” He inquired, “And where are they now?”
Sihtric felt nervous now that he was being questioned about Luna. He hadn’t prepared himself as he should of. “They could be anywhere by now.” He replied.
Haestan glared at Sihtric, but Sihtric held his ground, looking calm and collected.
“So Uhtred’s pretty Irishman thinks he can claim my belongings,” Haestan said as he spit on the ground. “He’ll wish he never crossed me.”
Do something, you cowardly beast, Sihtric thought. Finan won’t give you time to draw your sword before he kills you.
Back at Saltwic, Finan had prepared some food and ale and took Luna outside the grounds to a spot in the forest. He laid down a blanket, and they comfortably enjoyed a warm day that hinted at spring’s arrival. Finan thoroughly enjoyed the thought of a break from traveling and battling with his beautiful woman by his side.
“Are you okay, love?” He asked after Luna had been silent for a while.
“I am lord,” she replied, “I can’t control my brother, and Aethelflaed said we need to live normally until Uhtred returns. I would love nothing more than to share that time with you.” She said as she bestowed a kiss upon his neck. He pulled her into his lap as he sat cross legged on the ground, wrapping his big arms around her waist, holding her tightly as she kissed him deeply, Luna running her hands through his hair.
“You must tell me of your origins,” she said as she pulled away from him slightly. “I have never been to Irland, but I have family that have journeyed there. Tell me about your upbringing, lord.” She said with a big smile as she stood from his lap and knelt down to lay beside him.
He gazed at her for a moment, then looked away as he laid down next to her, propping himself up on his elbow. His heart began to race.
“I… I’ve never told anyone.” He replied.
“What do you mean you’ve never told anyone?!” She teased, then frowned upon seeing the seriousness in his eyes.
“Finan, do you wish to speak about it? I will not push you to speak of things you… do not wish to tell me.” She expressed with concern in her eyes, feeling slightly self conscious, as if the reason for not telling her was because he didn’t feel serious about their relationship.
“No, Luna, I wish to tell you. I’ve just never told anyone about my life before the slave ship. Not even Uhtred. All anyone knows is that I had the same unfortunate experience that Uhtred did on that ship.” He replied.
She looked at him intently and nodded, waiting for him to hopefully continue.
He held her gaze for a moment, then sighed as he sat up to a seated position again, rubbing his head. She joined him and sat upright.
“I was born in the Kingdom of Ulaid,” he started, “first son of the King.”
She looked at him in shock, taking a deep, slow breath, staying silent but nodding so he would continue.
“I had one younger brother, Conall, but I was next in line to the throne. When I was very young, My parents arranged my marriage to the King of Ailech’s daughter, while my brother got to the marry the one he had chosen.”
Luna grabbed his hand as she witnessed the frustration in his eyes as he spoke.
“I fathered two sons in my marriage. God, I was still so young then,” he continued. “But I was not in love. I was but a child myself.”
Luna looked away as her mind processed what he was saying, then looked back to him as he spoke again.
“I was so unhappy with the constraints that had been made on my life,” he continued, “and like a fool, I fell in love with Conall’s wife, searching for a reprieve.” He said. Luna raised her eyebrows, still listening attentively as she nodded. “Please continue, Lord.” she said.
“We devised a plan to run away together, of course.” He continued, “We made it not too far South when the Ailech forces caught up to us. Conall punished her severely, letting his men make a whore out of her in front of me while I stood in chains, until he finally slit her throat as I watched. I loved her, Luna, but it was a childish love. She didn’t deserve to die for that mistake.”
Luna looked at him in horror. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing as she saw the pain in his eyes.
“Conall then claimed my wife and Sons as his own, exiled me from the kingdom, and sold me to the Danish slaver, where I remained for years. Until Uhtred, that is. And of course, I’ve never been back to Irland.” He said at last. Finan had shed a few tears as he looked to the distance, but Luna could tell that it was actually so painful that he was numb.
Luna stayed silent for a few moments, and then gestured to sit back in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, sobbing a bit into her shoulder as she rubbed his back and a hand through his hair.
“Lord, you are so strong,” she started, “So strong that you have built an entirely different life, surviving despite the odds. You have a valiant reputation, and a strong family of men here. And I never want to leave your side. You live a better life here, so it wasn’t all for nothing. I'm so sorry, I truly had no idea. Thank you for telling me…” she said softly as she placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“Luna, I want you. I’m scared, but I want you more than anything in my entire life.” He said softly.
“You have me, Finan. I’m not going anywhere.” She replied with a deep kiss to his lips.
He pulled back to cup her face and look deep into her eyes. “I want you to know,” he began to say, “I love you. I’ve never felt this way, where all I can think about is you. I’ve surely gone mad.”
She placed her forehead to his, nuzzling his nose with hers. “I love you so much,” she replied back, holding him close. “I can hardly imagine being apart from you now,” she continued, then paused before she spoke again. “You know…It’s really unfortunate that you are a Saxon.”
He looked at her with wide eyes as he gasped, then quickly grabbed her sides to tickle her, forcing her to the ground as she laughed, her struggling to get away from him. Her laugh made everything right for him.
“You better watch your mouth,” he chuckled as he moved himself on top of her.
“Yes, lord,” she said, still chuckling as he looked into her eyes.
“God, woman, you drive me mad.” He whispered.
He brought his lips to hers with deep intensity, as his hands ran up and down her body. Luna pulled away from his lips to lay kisses along his jawline and neck.
“I need ya,” he whispered, “Will you let me?”
Luna nodded with a smile as she pulled at his armor to remove it, and then his tunic before running her hands across his firm abs. He did the same, pulling her tunic over her head, then grabbing at her trousers with strong hands, pulling them off swiftly. He knelt between her legs and began stroking her with his fingers, laying wet kisses on her inner thighs. He lifted her legs slightly, situating himself in between and locking her legs down with his arms.
Luna moaned as he began to lick wide strokes along her entrance, teasing at her clit with his tongue. He placed his thumb over it, rubbing light circles around it as he listened for her soft whimpers. She tasted like pure sex, and he just couldn’t get enough as he felt his cock grow harder.
“Tell me what you want, my lady.” he groaned.
Luna moaned as he sucked on her clit. “I want you to take me from behind, Lord,” she responded in between pants. Finan quickly obliged as he turned her around with a firm grasp on her hips, bringing her onto all fours. He grabbed her long hair and pulled her up against him as he palmed her breasts firmly in his hands. He stroked his cock along her folds, teasing her clit again before he thrusted in.
She moaned instantly at the deep sensation as he took her from behind, setting the perfect pace as his cock breached the deep sensitive spot in her core.
“That’s it,” he groaned, “You are such a good girl for me, darling.” He said in his deep accent.
“Oh, gods,” she moaned as he gripped her hair again, pulling her up until he could wrap his strong arm around her waist. He quickened his pace slightly as he listened to her whimpers intently, eager to bring her to climax on his cock. Seconds turned into several minutes as she felt herself coming undone for him.
“Lord, please…please keep going.” she pleaded, as he wrapped his hand around her throat from behind her, giving light pressure and pulling her against him.
Finan lost his self control after a few more minutes of deep thrusts as she moaned, her core clenching his cock tightly and a gush of fluid drenching his cock as her legs quivered, Finan releasing himself deep inside her.
“Fuck, I lose all control when you grip me like that...” he sighed as he grabbed her jaw, biting her lower lip and kissing her with his tongue. He turned her around slowly and she collapsed to the ground with a happy sigh as Finan chuckled.
They stayed in the forest until dusk, and then returned to the estate hand in hand. Finan had resumed his lighthearted jokes and mannerisms, and felt lighter putting his trust in Luna at last. He had never felt happier than he did at this moment. He even caught his mind drifting to the future, perhaps returning to Coccham with Luna, starting a family and eventually putting down the sword, for a while at least. She would need to follow him on his travels, because he could never imagine parting with her now. Aethelflaed saw the couple in the garden, laughing and kissing. She smiled to herself.
Meanwhile, Haestan had spontaneously and erratically gathered a group of 50 men and made the correct assumption that Uhtred’s Irishman would be assigned to protect Lady Aethelflaed at her estate in Mercia as he was away. He went to Bloodhair with a proposition.
“Since the Dane-Slayer has not obliged my request for trade,” Haestan exclaimed, “how about I give you your Seer back in exchange for your assistance in retrieving my soon to be betrothed? And perhaps Alfred’s daughter for my whore!” Haestan said with a deep maniacal laugh.
Bloodhair hesitated for a moment before he responded. “It is a reasonable request,” Bloodhair replied. “We can leave at first light.”
Tags: @persephones-journey @gemini-mama @bhxrdy @alexagirlie @king-alfred @blkflowergrl
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Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Ep 10, 11, & 12
This feels like a lot to put into one Meta. But, since I'm chunking these out and taking requests, it makes sense to me. Yes, "Day of Death" is a defining Chenford episode. But I feel like you need the context of what lead up to it and the fallout on the other side to fully understand its impact and discuss it.
SPOILER ALERT: If you don't want to be spoiled, you don't want to read this. While I do write these as though I'm watching the episodes for the first time and try not to let fore-knowledge come into play, I will be spoiling these episodes in their entirety and everything that came before.
All squared away? Alright, lets dive in.
The Dark Side
"The single men in LA suck. Every time I go out on a date, and they find out that I'm a cop, they just get scared off." ... "Look, those aren't men. Those are boys, okay? Real men are not afraid of strong women."
Heck, yeah, they aren't! Lucy, honey, I get that it's tough out there for you, right now. But someday there will be a single man in LA who doesn't suck and isn't afraid of strong women. You'll see.
But right now, you're looking for anyone who isn't a total dud, and I get that.
"...dating a civilian is a bad idea." "I was told dating cops was a mistake. What am I supposed to do, join a nunnery? Sister Office Lucy Chen?"
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything the first time I heard this line because there would have been soda everywhere. My husband heard the line over my shoulder and cracked up, too.
And you might be thinking, "Why is she going into all this? Tim and Lucy are nowhere near ready for romance". Welp, I want to show Lucy's mentality in this episode and will explain once we get to 2x11 how it feeds into the situation and the mis-read from Tim.
"Look, no, I'm saying that right now end of shift means leaving the job behind when you go home. But in success, each one of you is gonna catch cases that kick your ass, that consume your every waking thought. And non-cops won't be able to identify. Worse, they're gonna resent you for caring more about the dead than the living."
It's an interesting thought, and for those of us in Season 5, there's a lot to consider, here. I mean, Lucy was cautioned against dating cops, but Isabel and Tim were Rookies and nobody gave him crap about it, from what we know.
Look, I'm not sorry Lucy and Nolan broke up. But, I do think Lucy should consider dating another cop down the line. *cough* Tim *cough*
"Caleb." "Lucy."
It's a chance meeting at the right time. Lucy is on the hunt for a non-mutant man in Los Angeles, and she ends up at the bar with someone who seems semi-safe.
After the conversation she just had with her friends, we can see she really wants to be with someone.
"I was in college when they found the first victims. It was all anyone talked about. That, and how could a woman be so barbaric." "I worked one of the scenes, fourth victim, Lisa Cruz. Homicide detectives warned me not to look at the body. Should've listened."
I love how they're speaking to one another so openly about the whole thing. There's an ease to how they're walking side-by-side that feels lived-in. Yes, he's still her TO, but this is a glimpse at the other side of him—the one that knows how to have a conversation without screaming or scheming.
"Caleb, from the bar last night... I hope this isn't weird, but you left with your perp before I had a chance to ask for your number."
Tim is giving this guy the side-eye. Look, we are nowhere near romance for this pair, but Tim has come to care about Lucy. He wouldn't call her a friend, yet, but they're definitely on their way.
And Lucy's picking up on Tim's hovering, but I don't think either of them could pick up on the why. My husband swooped in to offer his opinion that Tim picked up bad vibes, but wrote it off because it made him look jealous. I don't think he's far off.
I think Tim was being a little protective. Not necessarily because of romance (everything with Isabelle is very fresh at this point). But, while Lucy is still his "Boot", she is crossing that line more and more towards "friend". Tim cares about what happens with Lucy.
He's trying to watch out for her, but she doesn't want a chaperone. For goodness sake, she's a grown woman, right?
"We don't call them perps." "Right, sorry. Anyway, this is my number. If you ever feel like waiting in vain for a drink, give me a call."
Tim Bradford with the save!! He snatches that tiny piece of paper so fast the camera barely catches it. That's a super hero, my friends.
"You got a last name, Caleb?" "Yes sir. Wright with a W." "What do you do? If you say screenwriter, you're going in a cell."
Lucy's horrified. This might be the worst thing Tim has ever done, in her mind.
Remember, at this point everything with Tim is a test. Everything could be used as subterfuge, and she can't trust what's he's going to do with the information he's gathering.
"I manage a medical supply company downtown." "I'm sorry about him. Things are a little crazy right now." "No problem. It was nice meeting you. Officer."
Tim gives her a "can you believe that guy" look, but she has that same energy directed at him. Tim's surprised by that. He really thought she'd appreciate him looking out for her.
She holds out her hand for her piece of paper, and Tim hands it over as she mouths, "Oh my god".
"Ten bucks that isn't even his dog." "It's been an awful day. Can't I just enjoy a cute puppy?"
Tim's getting a look into how Lucy unwinds and relaxes. All day, she's been sneaking glimpses at Caleb's socials to get a feel for him, and it's helping distract her from the no-good day.
Tim of this era hasn't yet learned how to help Lucy talk through things. But he has learned that Lucy and distractions work well for moderating her panic.
Think of the episode with the nuclear bomb and how they spent the whole episode talking about how to sabotage her ex's wedding. Distraction helps her.
"If I can be wheels up in the next 10 minutes, I might beat the afternoon traffic which means I will be in bed in the next hour."
I love how conversational they're being here. You can already tell the lines of TO and friend are starting to blur.
"That's a mistake." "What? Why?" "Look, after working a hardcore assignment like this, you need to go blow off some steam after shift. You know, give your brain a different focus. It's the only way you have a fighting chance of actually sleeping."
This isn't a Tim Test. He's trying to give her advice. Keep this in mind, my friends. It'll come back.
"As my Training Officer, are you saying that I should go get a drink?" "A strong one. Maybe even with another human."
Tim is really trying to do the right thing, here. He snatched away Caleb's phone number earlier, but Lucy's been cyber-stalking him all day and she looks interested.
"Well, I am here to distract you."
I swear I didn't remember that line when I wrote the part above about Lucy needing a distraction.
And we all know that what started as a distracting night led to a nightmare for Lucy.
Before we move on, I want to talk a little bit about Season 2 Tim and Lucy. I know a lot of people love what DOD does for Chenford in terms of progression. But I argue it doesn't cause the shift, but only expedites it.
Look at Tim in this episode, for example. He's downright conversational and friendly with Lucy. Yes, he tells her to get her head in the game instead of looking at Caleb. Yes, he teases her about her first Decomp, but that's the extent of it.
He talks with her openly and honestly about Rosalind. He tries to protect her from Caleb when he thinks the guy's just an unworthy suitor. He tries to give her advice at the end that isn't attached to any "lesson" but simply sharing what he's learned.
Frankly, I think that's what Lucy expected in a TO—someone to talk her through and give her sage advice. And then she got Tim.
Tim doesn't hand out advice willy-nilly. He's a "show" guy, right? Same thing with how he teaches. He's not much of a "talker" with Lucy when it comes to her training. He's trying to get her to think for herself by putting her through her paces.
But this whole episode, he's talking to her. Heck, he's talking with her. Tim doesn't make friends with his Boots, but Lucy is becoming the exception. They aren't there, yet, but they're on their way.
If we look at this episode separated from DOD (if we can), you can see that Tim and Lucy are already moving towards friends. The events of DOD expedites it, I argue, but they would have eventually gotten there on their own. Tim and Lucy are inevitable.
Day of Death
"My day of death."
The pain of a tattoo. The hangover of whatever drugs he gave her. The inability to move her limbs or fight back. Trying to take note of her surroundings, of anything that might be helpful if she can get away.
And that horrible fear that she won't.
"Sergeant."
It takes Harper two seconds to clock the conversation between the men, and she's the first to jump on it. Why? We'll get to that next episode.
"Lucy did not come home last night. She's not responding to texts or calls." "Did she go out with that guy? The one she met at the bar. Caleb Wright with a W."
He remembers it clearly, but he's trying not to panic. After all, his first date with Rachel was *ahem* memorable. Maybe Lucy moves at that same pace?
"Lucy doesn't do one-night stands." "And she's never late."
Her friends know her well, and Grey's smart enough to run with it. Let's be real, there are scenarios where a Sergeant might not listen, might not take it seriously, might not actually do anything.
This is television, and we're not going to let Lucy Chen go quietly into that good night. But it hits me so hard that there are so many cases where alarm bells are rung and left unanswered.
"Why are you doing this?"
Lucy's trying to keep her head in the game. That's what Tim told her to do last episode, right? Keep your head in the game.
"It's for you. To force you to face the truth of your death. It's the gift of something we rarely get in life—clarity."
Fuck you. I'm sorry. Lucy's thinking it and it needed to be said.
"... we believe Caleb is Rosalind's protege, and he took Officer Chen."
The news slams into Tim. And nobody else in the room sees it or knows why. He doesn't even wait to be dismissed. He rushes out of the room, phone dialing before he makes it through the door.
Because this is too much for him to handle. Tim has tried to handle a lot of things on his own. He's famous for isolating himself and trying to pretend he's fine. But this time he calls his best friend. Because he can't do this alone.
"Lucy's been taken. I need you." "On my way."
"Lucy". Not "Chen". Because in his mind, Lucy is already becoming more than a Boot. No, we're not talking romance, here. We're talking friendship. Kinship. Someone he cares about.
Tim Bradford has a very short list, so the fact that his Rookie is close to making the list is significant. But I'm not one who thinks Tim's romantically interested in her all the way back in Season 2. This thing's grown organically over time, though I'd argue DOD gave it a push, as did certain other episodes covered in Future Metas.
"Look, I know I haven't known Lucy as long as the rest of you, but I do know that she's a fighter."
Hell, yeah, our queen is!
"She's gonna do everything she can to stay alive until we save her."
And she does. She fights like hell and does everything she can to survive. But she's weak. She's lethargic. She's drugged. And she's isolated. Utterly alone.
Imagine that moment of fighting your way out, hoping that there'll be someone to hear your voice, to come to your aid, to get the help you so desperately need... and there's no one.
How much of the fight can you keep alive when you realize how little chance you have of surviving?
"... I can't just sit here."
Here's more of a "show" guy. And there's nobody to show.
"I'm fine. Just blowing off steam."
What he told Lucy to do. What he thought would be safe. What he thought would be relaxing. What he thought would be distracting. What he thought would be fun.
He's not blowing off steam. He's a pressurized gasket ready to explode.
"I get it, but you gotta get your head in the game." "I don't need a pep talk." "Then why'd you call me? Clearly you need to get something off your chest."
Tim forgets the power of words, sometimes. We see it a lot through the season. Maybe it's because he never learned how to use them growing up.
FAST FORWARD: We're a ways away from Season 4 and Tim's backstory episodes that help illuminate just how bad it was for him. Tim's father didn't use words. He used his fists. His mother likely didn't use words, either. They didn't talk about what he went through. He never learned to express himself that way. It takes someone coaxing it out of him, and right now that's his best friend.
"She wanted to go home. Okay? Go to bed. I told her that she should focus on something else. She went out with Caleb because I told her to."
And he's carrying the weight of that guilt. It's too heavy for him to bear. Tim Bradford has carried too many weights, and this one is too much. Did he doom his Rookie to die?
"You couldn't have known."
Angela's whole attitude shifts (how could it not?) because Tim Bradford is expressing emotions with his best friend. And that is huge and this whole thing is horrible.
"But I should have. I'm a cop. I was standing this close to the guy, okay? Right across from him and I never saw him coming. But she did, though. She... Some part of her didn't feel right about this whole thing. She hesitated. And I pushed her right at him."
He's wrong. It has to be said that Lucy might not have gone out with Caleb that night, but it could have been another night. Tim only thinks this because of his own guilt, his own pain, his own frustrations with himself for not being Super Cop.
Lucy wanted to go out with this guy. Maybe she wouldn't have gone out that night without the push. But Caleb was a serial killer, and would've put her on his list sooner or later... and more women would have died in the meantime. It's not Tim's fault any more than it's Lucy's.
He thinks he failed Lucy, but this isn't a situation where you can predict every move. We're not going to victim-blame here. We're not going to point fingers.
Because minus the serial killer plot, this shit happens every day. Around the world, there are people whose drinks are spiked, people who are abducted, people who have their choice and consent ripped from them.
And it's not the victim's fault in any way. And it's not the fault of a friend who suggested they have a fun night out. It's no one's fault but the asshole who perpetrated the crime.
Getting off my soap box, here, now, to get back to the Meta. But watching Tim go through this reminds me of how I still struggle with blaming myself for a friend of mine OD'ing because I didn't reach out to them that night.
What if I'd reached out? What if I hadn't ignored their vague Facebook post thinking that I'd only be adding to their frustrations and that they needed the night to cool off? Would they still be here if I'd commented? Or sent them a message? I'm a state away, so I couldn't reasonably drive... but could I have done something that would have meant they'd still be here?
I know I can't blame myself. But there are some days I still struggle with it. Because she's gone. And I'll never ever know if I could have helped. Cognitively, I know it's not my fault. I couldn't have done anything, but there's that part of you that still thinks... you made the wrong call, and if you'd called it the other way, it might be different, now.
"If I get that away from you, it's going right in your brain."
She kept her head in the game. She's up against life and death, here, and she's at the disadvantage. But she's a fucking fighter. Look, we know that Lucy is tough. This is something else entirely. She's staring down the murderer who wants to hear her scream, who wants to soak up her agony, who wants to get her to crumble.
And Lucy Chen's standing up to that asshole with the ultimate, "Fuck You" by not giving in.
She must want to cry. She must want to scream. But Lucy Chen is a fighter, and she's not going down easy.
Lucy Leaves a Clue
It's a long shot. It's such a bloody long shot. But she has to try. Lucy truly believes that she will be found, long shot as it is.
And that hope can be a powerful thing. Caleb tried to wield it against her, but he's no match for her.
"Any last words?" "Yeah. You're gonna be dead long before I am."
Damn right, Lucy Chen. Damn right.
"Now, I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to to save her."
And he means it. Watch Jackson's surprise to see Tim Bradford slam a guy's head against the horn. Because Tim's unhinged, here. Someone he cares about has been taken, and he doesn't give a damn what happens to him or his career.
He'll let it all fall if it means Lucy survives.
FAST FORWARD: We talk a lot about how Tim makes sacrifices for Lucy where his career is concerned. And while in later seasons it becomes their thing, I think in this case he'd have done it for any of his few friends. We later see him risk it all for Angela when she's kidnapped, too. Tim has a separate code for his friends. And Lucy's falling more under it over time. Again not romantic... yet.
"There can be charges in here that lead us to Caleb."
Did you clock that brief smile? Before Jackson walks up, Tim thinks they're at a dead end. Lucy's lost. She's gone. And he'll never get to atone for his mistake.
Jackson brings a sliver of light and hope, and it's enough that Tim actually briefly grins. It's not over, yet.
"Stars shining bright above you..."
The song. Lucy's song to keep herself calm and regulate her breathing. Yes, not talking would have been better, but she needs this. She needs light and life and love. Something bright to pierce the darkness.
Her oxygen is running low, and she's having more trouble breathing, more trouble seeing a way out. The last thing she's going to give that bastard is the satisfaction of watching her scream.
And Melissa O'Neil is breaking my heart. Acting-wise, she is literally in a barrel. There's no one to react off of. There's no one feeding her lines.
It's just Lucy in a barrel, and it's up to the actress to make us feel. No cool camera angles. No sweeping score. Melissa O'Neil had to carry us through this and she did it masterfully.
Yes, the Writers decided to have her singing this song. The script, or a Director or Editor decided to strip the rest of the sound from the overlapping visuals (there's a lot of playing with sound and its impact in this episode that's jaw-droppingly beautiful).
But Melissa O'Neil is the one who has to make us believe it. And we do.
A Glint of Light
Tim's eyes scan the miles of land, looking for some sign of disturbance to clue him in on Lucy's location. But it's something that doesn't belong that grabs his attention—something that literally catches the light of the sun and draws Tim in. Her ring.
He picks it up, still uncertain, but following the clue. A few kicks and... a thunk.
"I've got her! I've got her!"
Tim starts digging in the ground with his bare hands, the grit getting under his fingernails, the dust getting into his lungs. He registers the others, but only barely. He has to get to Lucy.
The ground gives way enough to reach the lid. Tim's hands are all over it, Nyla on one side and Jackson on the other. When they can finally see her, Tim asks for help as they pull her out. But he hovers, staying close, being certain he is the one to make sure she's alive.
Because if she's dead, it's on him.
Look, we know Tim didn't do anything wrong. But Tim Bradford carries a lot of scars and blames himself for a lot of things he shouldn't. And if he can't get to her in time, if he pulls her out and she's truly gone... he can never atone for this.
She's not breathing. Tim blows into her mouth and starts pumping on her chest. The sound drains from the world... just the discordant notes sounding off and echoing like the dying hope of Lucy surviving.
Lucy gasps, and the sound returns to the world. Each person takes a breath of relief. But then the sound zeroes in only on two people—Lucy and Tim.
"You're so strong," he murmurs, soft enough for her to hear, but no one else. But she doesn't hear anything. It's too much. It's all too fucking much. The sobs she'd held in before finally spill out as Tim pulls her close, holding her tight.
He thought he'd lost her. And, again, there's no romance here. But she matters, damnit. She matters to Tim more than he thought she would when they first met. He presses a hand to her hair, pushing his face next to hers.
It screams "I'm here. I'm here." Because in his mind, he is the one who failed her and it had to be him to save her. He owed it to her. He was responsible for her. He fucked up.
And it almost cost her her life.
Again, I don't think that. But Tim does. He truly believes he's the one who failed her. And when you have very few people in your life who care about you (and Lucy has demonstrated many times that she does care about Tim), you don't want to do anything to lose that.
But Tim believes he almost lost Lucy because he wasn't good enough. It plays so much into his childhood trauma, his trauma with his ex-wife, and everything else. Tim thinks he failed.
She doesn't cling to him, no. Her hands shake and her body convulses from the pain. But she lets him hold her there, back in the air, out of her barrel.
Tim isn't her person, yet. But she cares about him, and she knows deep down that he cares about her. She even told Rachel about his good heart.
But her not holding him is completely appropriate to the moment. It's not about him. This is about her. Her trauma. Her survival. Lucy's breaking in this moment. She spent so much time keeping her head in the game, and now she's finally releasing all the anguish she refused to show Caleb.
And she is safe in Tim's arms to fall apart.
I knew from the Pilot that Eric Winter was a tour-de-force. But in this episode we see so many damn layers. And Tim's relief at holding her in his arms at the end instead of cradling her corpse is palpable.
The way this scene is shot and performed and the sound... it all puts us in the moment. We are right there with them, and it's one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.
Here in the barren waste of sand and silence... there's life.
"Hmm. What are you reading, Teen Rebel?"
She wakes up to see Tim there, waiting. He hasn't slept. He hasn't left. We know that. He's spent the past 24 hours feeling completely responsible for Lucy, and it's not easy to leave the side of the person who you pushed yourself to save.
And the first thing she says to him isn't about what she's survived, or even about him finding her. It's about the damn magazine. And it's perfect.
After what she's survived, Lucy needs something familiar. And Tim is pretty damn familiar in her life.
Before we get too much further... I want to call out the lengths Tim went to save Lucy.
FAST FORWARD: We haven't yet reached, "Some things matter more". But Tim's already showing that in action. He's a "show" guy, remember?
Tim was willing to do whatever it took to save her. He would put it all on the line, and that's because he cares about her. No, they're not ripping one another's clothes off. It's Season 2, she's his Boot, and he doesn't even acknowledge friendship with her, yet.
But she is becoming his friend. She's becoming one of the very few people that Tim Bradford will upend the world for.
"They actually have some really insightful political articles."
Watch how fast that man wheeled his little chair over to her side. It makes me giggle with glee.
"Oh, which BTS member is your soulmate. Gotta be Suga, right?" "Totally. What's a BTS?"
Lucy laughs. Probably her first good laugh in days. And it's with Tim. Hardass, Tim Test, never-lets-up Tim.
"Have you been here all night?" "No. Mmhm. No." "Mmhmm."
Because TO Tim can't show that he cares. Not yet. I mean, he's never felt this friendly toward a Boot, and he can't go soft on her when she still has so far to go before crossing the finish line.
Remember, Tim likes rules and staying within them—whether they're the rules set out for him by a superior or the ones he's created for himself. Counting Lucy a friend is outside the lines. But much as he might try to deny it, he's showing it.
He's used to giving his Rookies what he thinks they need, and with Lucy, it's most often tough love and some manipulative tests. For him to break through his own wall of separating personal life from professional life is too much. So, he lies.
But Lucy can see right through him. Strangely, she's always had that power.
"How did you find me?"
Nolan interrupts the moment. Damnit, Nolan! But we'll all get to that later... next episode.
There's a reason I wanted to do these three together. Look, this show is still basically a Procedural at its heart with some continuous story lines. But these three episodes feel more serial than a lot of the show, and because of that, I think the whole picture is required to ascertain its meaning.
"He is a she and she is going to sleep in my bed since I am clearly never going on a date, again."
We started this whole trilogy with Lucy considering a nunnery. And, again, I think this calls attention to what it's like to be a single woman in the world. Yes, assaults can happen to anyone.
But as a woman, I can tell you I never get anything to drink but water when I'm out with my friends. I never leave my drink unattended. And a male friend always walks me to my car. Theater kids go out a lot to bars (like, after every rehearsal), so there was a season in my life where this was a nightly ritual. Trying to stay safe out there.
So, if Lucy doesn't want to ever date again after her ordeal, I don't bloody blame her, and neither do her best friend, past fling, and future husband.
"You hungry?"
Sometimes I swear this man is part Jewish mother. If you Fast Forward in the series, you see he's always trying to feed this woman.
And, yes, I'm saying this from experience. There was an old saying that if you wanted a lot more food from my Great-Aunt Mary, you said you wanted a little. If you wanted a little, you said you wanted none. And if you wanted none, you hid your plate.
"Yeah. I'm starving. You know what I really wanna eat right now?" "Veggie burger and fries. Extra pickles."
Awwwww! Remember in 2x01 when she sent him food? "You shouldn't have done that." "Well, I wanted to. And eating well is crucial to a fast recovery."
He's using the lessons he learned from her as an act of love. Again, not romantic love. But love, nonetheless.
"You know me so well." "Too well."
Look at those smiles. Alright, y'all, I'll admit those smiles put butterflies in my stomach, too.
And the fact that the director chose to take us off of the wide shot so we only saw Tim and Lucy for these last few lines. Because this is about them.
Tim is caring about Lucy far more than he should. And he's growing aware of that. But the nature of this episode makes it impossible for him to shove it down entirely. He writes it off as concern and guilt, and doesn't realize he's been slowly letting Lucy into his circle of friends.
But if we talk about who really knows Lucy in this scene? It's Tim.
Jackson brought pretty flowers, which are nice, but will die. Nolan brought the most giant, pink bear. She's cute, but eventually she'll disappear from Lucy's life because her next boyfriend's not going to want to share the bed with a pink stuffy (unless he's into that... no judgment).
Tim. Brought. Her. Food. Yes, it'll be gone pretty quickly. But I can tell you after not being allowed to eat for both my deliveries of my three kids, I was famished. Lucy hasn't eaten in days, and she wants something filling and comforting. Tim brought her the exact order she wanted without her having to ask.
As much as he tries to separate professional and personal, Lucy's blurring those lines. To me, the Season 1 finale was really the start of that. And Tim bites back against that as much as he can in Season 2 (even treating Lucy like shit because she didn't report him for suicidal ideation).
But this trilogy of episodes breaks down that wall further. Yes, he's still her TO and he's still not going to think of her as a friend. But S2-3 is where that really comes together. They were already on their way, but with these events, he softens towards her in a way he never anticipated.
We get to see him soft throughout the series with "his people". But at this point, he's not yet ready to admit Lucy is one of them. It's outside his standard operating procedure for Rookies.
But, despite his protests, he's making a friend. The kind of friend that sticks. The kind of friend that doesn't leave. The kind of friend that loves with abandon.
And someday, someday, she might become more than that. But right now, he's not even ready to admit she's a friend... but, damn, our "show" guy really showed it.
I really want to call out the coloration and choices of this episode. When Lucy first wakes up on the table (with no establishing shot, so we're as clueless to how isolated she is, just as she is), everything i s tripped back. Melissa O'Neil's makeup is stripped down and we can see her pores.
The first time I watched that scene I thought, "Wow, they really stripped out all the color". There's something about the harshness of yellows, beiges, and browns on their own that evoke old Westerns. That sense of isolation, famine, and drought.
Lucy's world is often so vibrant that the stark shift helps us feel the anxiety with her. There's nothing bright or beautiful about this world. Only de-saturated hopelessness.
Now and Then
Lucy In The Mirror
Lucy's wounds have healed. Her wrists are free of the tie marks. Her face is free of the cuts and bruises. But the tattoo remains. She can hear the sound of the tattoo gun in her mind.
Yes, Lucy has many tattoos, but those were of her choosing. This was another violation—something inflicted upon her. Lucy tries covering up, but the foundation sticks to her shirt.
And, yes, there are makeups out there that can cover up tattoos. Being the daughter of a makeup artist, I know way too much about it and have seen mother in action covering an entire chest full of tattoos for a shoot. That's not the point.
The point of this scene is to remind us (and Lucy) that this can't be covered up. It's on her. It's permanent unless she has it burned off.
"When can she have it removed?" "Four weeks. Two days. Nine hours."
Her mind is on it all the time. She knows it down to the hour. Doesn't sound like someone who's healed to me. But, duh. That's the whole point of the episode.
"Hey, so what's your plan?" "For what?" "Officer Chen. I'm sure you've got some Alpha strategy to get her back on the horse, so, what is it?"
Let's be real. Tim would be Tim, but he wasn't going to be his harshest self on her first day back. He wouldn't be capable of it. But Nyla doesn't know that.
"So basically get her into as many fights as possible." "I'm gonna remind her that she's a cop, not a victim." "She knows that she's not a victim. Look, Chen doesn't need to fight. She needs to make peace with the voice inside of her head telling her she's never gonna be safe again."
I wish someone had asked Lucy. Looking at this situation, they're both coming at it from the wrong angle for Lucy. Tim's going for how he processes and Nyla's going for how she does. Neither of them asks Lucy what she needs.
Look, these are characters who are going to do what's in-character. For the scene and the arc, this has to go this way. But as a person who has had a lifetime of people thinking they know what I need and making it a thousand times worse, I have a personal response to this.
But in character? Both Tim and Nyla want what's best for Lucy and think they're the one to give it to her.
"Okay, I've been training Rookies a lot longer than you. I know what she needs." "That's ego talking. What happened to Chen is every woman's worst fear." "I'm aware of that." But you have never lived that fear."
That stops Tim. Because she's right. Part of Tim's arc in Season 1 and 2 with Lucy by his side is discovering his subconscious biases. She forces him to think beyond what he thinks he knows.
And here, he's facing that even without Lucy present. Because she's opening up his mind to seeing past his own limited perspective.
"It's clear that you have her best interests at heart. I am just asking you to consider whether she might be better served by someone who has been through what she has been through."
This is a lot for Nyla to offer. A woman's experiences are not owed to anyone. But she chooses to give him this insight into why she really believes she's the best person to help Lucy through.
And Tim's listening. He's really listening to what she's saying.
"And that someone's you." *nods* "Okay. I'll tell Grey to make the switch."
I love Eric Winter's choices on this. He's reacting not only to the information that Nyla just shared, knowing that she doesn't want apologies or empty words from him. He didn't do it. But he's sorry it happened. He's face to face with someone in uniform who, like Lucy, thought they were safe with someone when they weren't.
And he's thinking of Lucy. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, to make this harder, to set her back.
Lucy At Roll Call
She pauses outside the room. Much as she wants to get back at it, this is a point-of-no-return morning. She doesn't want special treatment. She doesn't want weird glances. She doesn't want whispered words.
She doesn't want the damn applause.
"Congratulations you survived but you're branded by a serial killer and still processing the emotional trauma and we want you know that we are all talking about you, and looking at you, and thinking about you."
Damn it.
"Welcome back, Officer Chen. How're you feeling? Can't wait to get on the streets, sir, just get back to normal." "We're going to mix things up a bit. You're going to be riding with Harper this week."
What. The. Fuck!? Lucy just said that she wants to go back to normal. Riding with Nyla is not normal.
Lucy looks back to Tim for confirmation and he nods. But she's still confused. She's on-edge. She didn't expect to come back to work straight into a Tim Test, and that's what this feels like.
Everything that she wanted for transitioning back to work is going wrong.
"I'm not interested in chasing tame calls today."
Because Tim needs to process his way. Look, he in no way went through what Lucy did. Not at all. But he's still carrying his guilt and frustrating, and he needs to channel that into something he can do.
Tim is a man of action, and since he can't take action to help Lucy through her re-acclimation, he's going to do what he needs to do to distract him from worrying about her—his job.
"So why the switch?" "Tim felt you'd be better served riding with me." "Yeah, right. This has to be some kind of elaborate Tim Test that he roped you into." "Do I strike you as someone who could get roped into anything? Especially by Bradford?"
Note the switch from "Tim" to "Bradford". Nyla was trying to keep it conversational at the beginning, but the second Lucy calls out perceived pliability, Nyla snaps back to put Lucy in her place.
"Fair enough. So, I'll ask you again, why the switch?" "I convinced him that I would have more insight into what you were going through and could therefore be more helpful to your re-integration onto the streets."
Look how Lucy recoils. Much as Lucy loves talking things out, she doesn't want to talk about this. She doesn't want to have to think about what she's been through while she's out here. She wants normal.
"Did you go on a date with a serial killer, too?" "Uh, no." "Well, then I'm not sure how much help you'd be. But it's fine, 'cause I don't need any help. I've already worked through the trauma using both cognitive and exposure therapy combined with mindful breathing and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So, it's, it's fine."
Of course, we know Lucy's far from fine. But this isn't what she wanted. She didn't want to have special treatment. She didn't want to be pulled from working with Tim. Frustrating as he is, he's familiar. That's normal.
And Lucy's gone through all the Psychological steps she thinks will help her be fine. It's her blind spot, truly. Because she seems to think there's a point where you're just "fine" and don't need to process anymore.
No, that trauma will come up, again, we know. But right now she doesn't want to face it. She's trying to pretend her way to being fine.
"Need backup for a felony car stop." "You sure?" "Hell, yeah."
Everyone's surprised to hear her voice. But she wants to get back at it. She doesn't want to feel different. It's bad enough what she has to deal with in her head. At the Station, she's a Rookie, yeah, but she's a cop.
And the more I look at this episode the more it feels like Lucy and Tim have traded spots for a day. Normally, Tim's the one who doesn't want to talk and would rather bury himself in the job. And Lucy's usually the one second-guessing.
But Tim second-guessed himself this morning and let Nyla have Lucy. And everyone wants Lucy to talk, but she'd rather get in the action.
"You want me to do the paperwork?" "Oh, nope."
Tim always has Lucy do the paperwork. She wants to do what's familiar, what's natural, what's practiced. "Please let me be normal".
"That was a nice job out there." "Thanks." "So you're just not gonna let me help you at all." "I don't need any help."
Look, we all know that she does, but not like this. Nyla wants so badly to help Lucy, but if Lucy isn't ready, trying to push her like this isn't going to change anything. It's going to push her further inward.
"Did you get the flowers we sent?" "And the basket. Thank you."
Lucy really has some lovely people in her life. And look at her genuine appreciation for Abigail, here. Baskets are one of Lucy's love languages, and she nailed it.
"What the hell is this? I let you run around with Harper for half the day and you start hugging people on duty?" "Don't listen to him. He's all bark."
Tim is being his grumpy-ass self and Lucy's smiling like the sunshine that she is. This is what she thought she'd have today. This rhythm to which she's already grown accustomed.
Yes, Tim gets under her skin and pisses her off. But she knows him. She's used to him. The Tim Tests come when she least expects it, but she knows to expect that.
While there are many mysteries left to this man, he's been her biggest constant during her Rookie year. And it's nice to get to talk to him.
"All bark? She is not buying what you're selling." "Because I don't hold her fate in my hands."
They're teasing. We're to the point in their relationship where they can tease one another, and you can see how comfortable Lucy is in this.
Apart from the action, this is the most comfortable we've seen her all episode.
"Heard you dodged some bullets." "Yeah, a few. What, are you keeping tabs on me?"
The discomfort is back. Because even Tim Fucking Bradford is acting different around her. There's a softness to him that she's never seen before directed at her. Yes, she's seen it... but not with those eyes directed her way.
"Look, if you need anything, you let me know."
Finally, someone asks what she needs. All day, people (including Tim) have been making assumptions about what she needs. But here Tim is truly putting her first and trying to see if there's anything he can really do.
"You got a time machine?" "I wish I did."
Because he'd go back and take back the decision that fed her to the lion. Yes, we all know it's not Tim's fault. But he still feels like it is. And this is what Lucy really wishes she had—not some remedy or quick fix... that it never happened.
"You're not gonna shower?" "Uh, I'm gonna do it a home."
Because she doesn't want the stares. She doesn't want the questions. She doesn't want the reminder.
She's wearing concealer under her shirt because she doesn't want to see the thing. And she's tired of the comments and special treatment. Lucy wants to go back to normal.
Now, we can already see from this episode that "normal" isn't really possible. Relationships have shifted. Lucy is not the same woman she was before. Yes, she'll open up parts of her that shut down over time, but she'll never be who she was before that night of carefree drinks gone wrong.
But that's what Lucy wants in this moment. Normalcy.
"Oh, but you're not going home."
The hell?! She was just abducted and now you won't let her go home? Sorry, but that was my gut reaction watching this.
"We have plans. Girls' Night." "Oh, I get it. You've seen that I'm find on the job, but you're still not convinced." "We just thought it would be fun." ... "It's... you guys have just never asked me out before."
Think of how happy Lucy was that she was getting invited to something normal!? And with these two bad-ass women!
Lucy spends so much of her time in the first two seasons with Jackson and Nolan that we rarely get to see her with the other women of the Station.
She was going to get to have a night out with two women she trusts—something safe. And she had just relaxed into that when they pulled this shit.
Look, I'm salty at these two. I love Nyla and Angela's my number three on the show. But this was a terrible idea. Nyla was critical of Tim throwing her into work, but she's throwing her into the dating pool.
And it's no wonder Lucy was triggered. She isn't ready to date, again. And that's fine. She should be able to get out there when she is ready.
But we all experience the world through out unique lenses and experiences. And a very real mistake we make is assuming because I need it this way, you do, too.
I have twin sons. When they were 9 months old, a friend handed down a toy to us. You throw a ball into the toy and it makes a noise. Ta-da! One child giggled uncontrollable. They other screamed and broke down in sobs.
Different people react differently. They need different coping mechanisms. They need different healing paths. When we try too hard to homogenize treatment, we miss the opportunity for true healing.
And part of the problem here is the utter lack of communication. Nyla has hinted to Tim what she went through, but she hasn't given Lucy any indication.
Now, Nyla doesn't owe Lucy her story. But she has chosen to help Lucy, and it would be a helluva lot easier to get through to Lucy if she communicated with her.
"Hey, Lucy had a bit of a moment last night when we were out."
Tim. Is. Pissed. Angela can tell that's all it took for him to be ready to go into Tim-Mode on someone's ass.
"It's not a big deal. She's fine." "What the hell is Harper doing?" "Helping. Don't get all 'Tim' on me. I just thought you should know." "Lucy's okay?" "She will be." "Alright. Thanks for letting me know."
Angela is the only one who knows about Tim's guilt. She's the only one who knows the weight he's been carrying, blaming himself for what happened to Lucy. She's the only one to know he has a growing soft spot for her.
So she does the right thing and gives him a heads-up.
And note how it's always "Lucy" when he's talking with Angela in these episodes. With Nolan, it's "Chen" because Nolan is not Tim's friend. But Angela's his best friend, and he can let his guard down a little when it comes to her.
Nyla Shares Her Tale
We already said that Nyla doesn't owe anyone her story. But by keeping it from Lucy, Lucy was pushing her away. She truly thought it was another outsider with outside opinions trying to force her to be okay.
Hearing Nyla's story, she is finally able to see her differently. There's a beat right after Lucy says, "I'm so sorry," where Melissa O'Neil shifts her gaze from cynical to sisterly—Lucy sees herself in Nyla.
For the first time since she's gotten out of that barrel, there's someone who isn't an outsider who truly wants to help.
"I shut down. I didn't even tell my husband. I kept telling myself that I would deal with it when I was ready." "But with every passing week it just got worse." "Maybe I pushed you too hard last night. But I know what it is like when you do not face things head-on."
Look how Lucy has shifted. Because Nyla can relate. Lucy was pushing so hard against her from the get-go that she missed the signs on this.
She was so focused on pushing everyone away and keeping everyone out that she missed that Nyla wasn't another outsider looking in with "expert" opinions on something they know nothing about. Nyla really does know.
"You and Chen are close, right?"
"I used to be inside her on the regular, so, yeah." I'm sorry. I had to. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I watched the scene.
"How's she doing? I mean, really doing?"
Because Tim is in his phase of needing to know how Lucy is, but not being the one "in the know". He's still her TO, and going directly to her for information is outside his code. But he can't help worrying. Lucy matters to him.
"She's good. Really. I think she'll be better once she gets that tattoo removed. Can you imagine that? Walking around every day branding by the worst thing that's ever happened to you? " "You think because it's physical, it's worse? Tragedies always leave scars. Only some of them you can see."
Again, this is about perspective. Some people are visual learners. Some are auditory. Some learn by doing.
I have a weird quirk of my brain that a memory is stronger for me if I can see a photo of it. Yes, I have other memories, but I can almost transport back to the moments in my photo albums since I've had decent memory. Visuals are important for me.
To Tim, it doesn't matter if it's visual or not. But Lucy might be different. Seeing that every day might mean more to her than it does to him. He's not considering that.
Seriously, as a former Communications student (two degrees in it), this episode is a masterclass in personal bias and intrapersonal vs interpersonal communication. In the moments of actual connection there's communication that's clear and concise.
Throughout the episode, everyone is making choices that are complicating matters. They're trying to do what's right, but they're doing it without clarity.
Nyla gets through to Lucy best when she talks to the woman in an open and honest manner. Same with Tim, later.
But, I'm skipping ahead...
A Punching Bag
Remember how I said Tim and Lucy have switched places this episode? In the same place where Lucy once offered Tim perspective (on his learning disability) and a gift (the book on tape), Tim will have his moment.
Lucy wipes her face without thinking, and Tim gets a glimpse of the tattoo. It flusters Lucy as she turns. She doesn't want to talk about it.
He's come down here for a reason. After spending all day asking others about her, he needs to see her for himself.
He wants to say something, too, but he's second-guessing. Ever since he pushed her toward a serial killer, he's been second-guessing where she's concerned.
"You got no quit in you, do you, Boot?" "No, sir. I get that from you." "I don't think so. You walked in the door this way. It's what makes you so aggravating."
He's teasing her. This is their rhythm. They've found it and they've earned it, and she's been stripped from it when she really wanted something familiar.
"I'm taking that as a compliment." "It was meant to be. You have a good night." "Yeah, you, too."
Tim turns to go, shoving his hands in his pockets. As he does, his fingers graze the ring... her ring. The ring he's been carrying around because it's tangible. It's something he can hold onto and remind himself that it's true—Lucy lived.
He turns around, no longer second-guessing. He has something to say, and he can only hope she hears him.
"You know, I got half a dozen scars. Bullet wounds, knife wounds, broken bottle. Then there's the ones you can't see, Isabel's addiction, a dad who would tune me up on the regular. And whether I like it or not, they're a part of me."
I can't remember him talking this openly about the trauma of Isabel's addiction before. But, he's in the Lucy role, today. He's talking things out while she's taking it out on a punching bag.
"I know what you're trying to do. And I appreciate it, but this is different. I was tattooed by a sadist who etched my day of death into my skin." "Okay, but you didn't die. Okay? You lived. And now he's the one in the ground."
Lucy sighs, because here's another outsider telling her what to do and how to feel.
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do with it. Okay? Burn it off, keep it, whatever gives you peace."
That's a little better. Lucy starts listening at that. Because, everyone's trying to push her in a direction, and he makes it clear that that's not his intention. He's not trying to push her to do or be anything.
"All I'm trying to do is give you some hard-won perspective."
If this was Pee Wee's Playhouse, we'd all have to scream because "Perspective" is the word of the day. Because each person's perspective has been an obstacle, today. Each person's perspective has been a roadblock.
But Tim's being very clear that he's offering only that—his Perspective. And, remember, Lucy cares very much what Tim thinks of her. She cares how he sees her. She doesn't want to let him down.
"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor."
"You're so strong," he'd whispered when she started breathing, again. She might have been too overwhelmed at the moment to ever remember that, but we do. He recognized her strength and ability to survive right then.
This isn't lip-service. This is Tim Bradford being completely honest about how he sees Lucy.
"It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."
There it is. No, this isn't going to "fix" the pain that Lucy's feeling. It's not going to make the trauma disappear. It's not going to erase the memories. But this mind-flip of that tattoo is powerful.
Because Caleb made her say aloud what that tattoo meant. He told her that it was for her, for her perspective, for her to own up to what he said it meant.
And here's Tim Bradford, a man who Lucy respects and trusts, helping her look at it from a different angle.
And isn't that what Tim does so well? Lucy even calls him out on it later in the show... He's the king at coming at things sideways and seeing another angle.
What he's saying is, "YOU, Lucy, get to decide how you look at that tattoo." She's spent so much time looking at it from Caleb's perspective that she didn't consider there was an alternative.
"Thanks." "Yeah. You're welcome."
Tim shoves his hands back in his pocket, and they both let the moment pass, easily. He said what he needed to say, and she heard him. Now, they can move forward.
"You riding with me tomorrow?" "Yes sir." "Good. Get in early. War bags need restocking." "Okay."
Tim pulls the ring from his pocket and tosses it to Lucy before she can register what it is. As she opens her hands, she sees it—her ring.
The ring she tossed off her hand in hopes that someone would find it. And Tim did. He found it. He found her.
"How did you find me?" Lucy asked from her hospital bed. Now, she has the answer.
Lucy looks up at Tim in awe and surprise. He smiles at the ring at her hand, and then back at her. He'd been carrying it around for a while because he didn't yet have Lucy back. Yes, she was at work, but not riding with him.
Tim once talked to Lucy about finding something tangible to focus on instead of the intangibility of nuclear disaster. Yes, he was being figurative, but I don't put it past him to take it literal. Lucy is back, but not back with him, yet.
Tomorrow, she'll be in his Shop. And now he doesn't need something tangible to hold onto to remind him that she is coming back, because she'll be there. By his side.
This is theirs. Tim told no one how he found her. She told no one that she'd dropped the ring. Only Tim and Lucy know this part of her story... of their story.
*phew* this one was emotionally exhausting. It took a week of work. But, I hope you enjoy it. It's heavier than most, but I think it's earned.
I would argue that Tim and Lucy are already on their way to friendship at the beginning of this trilogy, but the events that happen expedite it, and also solidify their trust of one another.
Tim respects the hell out of her. He knows what she's capable of, and now he's seen it for himself. Yes, he's going to be tough on her, again, when he's ready. And, yes, she's going to be pissed at him, when she's ready.
But only Tim and Lucy know who they are in the in-betweens. When the cameras aren't rolling on their chests and nobody else is listening in—like this ending scene. This is theirs.
And as they move forward in their relationship, there are all these touchstones, these pillars that shifted things that they can look back on as guide posts or stepping stones that at the time seemed small, but proved essential to their journey.
And, oh, I can't wait to see where it takes them next.
As always, thanks for reading.
#Chenford#Lucy Chen#Tim Bradford#Melissa O'Neil#Eric Winter#The Rookie#Meta#tw abuse#tw assault#tw rape
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To the end and back [daryl Dixon x reader]
Chapter five - everything has changed
Masterlist
Taglist
Previous >> next
Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.
A/n - Last chapter of season 1, season 2 coming soon.
Tw- death, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts
'Ts-19'
Season 1 ep 6
edited
tw - death, mentions of suicide, and suicidal thoughts.
It opened it actually opened, I was sure no one was in there, that not one part of the government was left. We all walk in ready to see hordes of walkers, ready for this to be a trap set by some sick fuck that broke into the CDC. "Daryl, you cover the back" Shane orders. We walk in with Rick leading the way. He's got his gun pointed forward, ready to fire "hello? Hello?" he shouts as he walks forward.
"Close those doors. Watch for walkers." We slowly walk through the building. We're all alert, ready to see a horde of infected former CDC workers but there isn't its clean and pristine there's not one drop of blood in sight it looked like the world hadn't ended. every other building I've been in since the world ended had been littered with bodies, and blood stained the walls, but this looked like how it probably looked in the old world. like it was ready to be filled with doctors and scientists trying to figure out cures for diseases in the world. "Hello?!" Then we see him, a guy, a doctor, he has light brown hair, and he looks at least in his forties. At first, we think he's a walker, so we all get ready to shoot. "Anybody infected?" The guy shouts we put down our guns. "One of our groups was...he didn't make it" Rick answers.
"Why are you here? What do you want?" The guy asks as he walks a bit closer, he sounds tired like he's ready to give up. "A chance" Rick replies breathily. "Thats asking an awful lot these days." The guy inches a bit closer. Rick shakes his head agreeing "I know." a chance is a lot to ask for, sometimes even got a hefty price on it these days.
"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission." rick nods and replies "We can do that". The guy lowers his gun "you got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed." Some of us end up running out grabbing anything we might need.
Dale, and t-dog close the two main doors and the man says "vi, seal the main entrance. kill the power up here" the rolling door closes back. "Rick grimes" Rick says sticking his hand out "dr. Edwin jenner."
-
The elevator hums as it descends. We're packed in it like sardines. "Doctors always go around packin' heat like that?" Daryl asks referring the the large gun dr. Jenner carried. "There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself....but you look harmless enough." He replies. "Except you, I'll have to keep my eye on you" he says to Carl which makes Carl grin a bit.
-
We're walking down a white hallway; it reminds me of the somehow eerie hallways of a hospital. "Are we underground?" Carol asks, with her brows furrowed up in confusion. Jenner turns around "Are you claustrophobic?" Jenner asks, "a little." Carol replies "try not to think about it." He says Turning back around and continuing to walk.
"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." Jenners voice echos as he shouts. We enter a large room with bunches, and bunches of computers. computers that are supposed to be occupied by doctors. The lights flicker on. "Welcome to zone 5."
Where is everybody? The other doctors the staff?" Rick asks confusions flooding his face. we hoped for there to be more staff, more doctors trying to figure out what the hell was going on, but it seemed like Jenner was the last one left. "I'm it...it's just me here" Jenner replies which is disappointing to most of us. "What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?" Lori asks as we all come to a stop. "Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them...welcome." Jenner shouts.
A computerized voice comes over the overhead speakers "hello, guests. Welcome."
"I'm all that's left. I'm sorry" Jenner says as he turns around. We all get blood test. Since we haven't ate properly in the past month or two, we're all a bit woozy afterwards. I'm sitting across from Jenner watching as my blood drains into a small vile. He takes the vile out and retracts the needle. "All done" he says. I dizzily stand up from the chair. Glenn's stood behind me. He grabs both my arms stabilizing me. I've lost a lot of blood in the last few days. "You, okay?" Jenner asks. I nod slowly. "She's lost a lot of blood already; she hasn't eaten in days either. None of us have."
Jenner offers us dinner. He's got so much food and drinks. I haven't seen so much food in my entire life. We all seem happy, for the first time in the last few months. We're actually happy. We're all laughing and chitchatting like we're old friends.
"You know in Italy; children have a little bit of wine with dinner" Dale says as he hands a cup of wine to Lori. "And in France" Dale adds. "Well, when Carl is in Italy of France, he can have some then" Lori says covering up the cup that sat in front of Carl. "What's it gonna hurt? Come on" Rick says trying to persuade his wife to let there 12-year-old have some wine. Lori turns her head towards Rick with a small smile on her face "come on" Rick laughs.
"What?" Everyone's giggling as Lori shrugs. Dale hands Carl a cup with just a little bit of wine in it "there you are, young lad" Carl puts the cup up to his lips and takes a tiny sip we're all staring at carl waiting for his reaction. "Eww" Carl says as he scrunched up his face in disgust. We all burst out laughing again. I'm pretty sure we all remember our first drink and our reaction was pretty much the same as Carls.
"That's my boy. That's my boy" Lori says as she takes the cup from Carl and pours it into hers. "That tastes nasty" he says as he shakes his head. "Well, just stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane says. Glenn hasn't drunk much tonight. Probably doesn't want to be as hung over as he was this morning. I've had myself a few cups. By few I mean like five but I'm fine. "Not you, Glenn" Daryl says. Daryl's drunk as fuck. He's going to be fucked in the morning. "What?" Glenn asks raising his head, a little embarrassed that he's gotten called out. "Keep drinking, little man. I want to see how red your face can get." Daryl says which makes all the men start laughing. The clinking of glass makes us all stop and turn our attention to Rick. "It seems to me we haven't thanked our host properly." Rick says standing up. "He is more than just our host." T-dog says raising his glass.
"Hear hear!"
"Here's to you, doc. Booyah!" Daryl says raising the bottle of wine he had been drinking out of.
Booyah!"
"Thank you, doctor." Rick says quietly. "So, when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc?" Shane asks. Which subsequently makes everyone's smiles fade. "All the uh..other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"
"We're celebrating, Shane don't need to do this now" Rick hisses as he sits back down. "Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right? This was your move—supposed to find all the answers, instead we uh..we found him" Shane chuckles as he points towards Jenner. "Found one man. Why?"
"Well when things got bad, a lot of people just left, went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the uh military cordon go overrun, the rest bolted." Jenner explains. "Every last one?" Shane asks as he sinks down in his chair a bit. "No, many couldn't face walking out the door. They...opted out. There was a rash of suicides" that definitely killed the mood. What Jenner just said confirmed my suspicions, this was never going to end. We were just going to have to adapt, adapt to this new harsh reality, adapt to the monsters that have now taken over. If we didn't then we're dead. There was no end to this shit, this was just how we were going to have to live. One day hopefully when we get used to it we can have normalcy, homes, families, pets, but not now we have to learn first. Learn how to survive, learn how to live in this new world, learn how to live amongst the monsters, if we didn't, we'd never live.
"That was a bad time." Jenner whispers solemnly "You didn't leave, why" Andrea asks. "I just kept workin', hoping..to do some good."
"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man" Glenn groans.
-
Once we were finished with dinner Jenner shows us around. We follow him down a hallway "most of the facility is powered down. Including housing, so you'll have to make do here." Jenner explains. "The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like. There a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy." Jenner turns around addressing Carl, and Sophia. "Just don't plug in the video games, okay?" Both kids nod. "Or anything that draws power. The same applies—if you shower, go east on the hot water." Jenner says before turning back around and leaving, Glenn turns to all of us eyes widened "hot water?"
"That's what the man said" t-dog says with a laugh.
I decide to take a shower. I haven't had one in so long; I can't even remember the last time I washed my hair. Yeah, at times we'd go and bathe in the quarry but that was only sometimes.
The hot water feels like heaven. I'm so glad I had collected up shower supplies just hoping one day I'd be able to have a normal shower. I haven't shaved my legs in God knows how long. it's not like I miss having to shave my legs every day, but I do miss the feeling of bare legs under freshly warmed sheets. I miss the soft feeling of my legs after lotion. I miss the aspect of life that us as humans wouldn't think we'd miss. Things we found a hassle at the time but now we long for it. Like washing clothes, or dishes. At the time I hated slaving over the sink washing each dish, but now I miss it.
I shave my legs, and arms just to feel like the world was normal again. I'm sure I spend at least 2 minutes just smelling at the bottle of shampoo that smelt like strawberries and cream. I'm sure I stunk of sweat beforehand, I'm sure we all did. But we eventually didn't smell it our brains tricked us into not smelling it like our brains makes it seem like we can't see our nose even though we can.
-
I find myself a room to settle into, it's an office but it's got a couch so that's fine. I pull my blanket out of the bag I had brought in it's not clean and kind of smells like wood and fire, but it's a blanket.
Knock, knock, knock.
I sigh as I walk over to the door and unlock it. It's Daryl stumbling over his words like he's trying to practice what to say. His eyes widened as he sees me. "I- um I really fuckin' like ya" I peek out the hallway to see Glenn, and t-dog peeking out from behind a corner. All three are drunk (I'm probably just as equally drunk but we're not going to talk about it). "You like me?" I ask raising my eyebrows teasingly. I don't know when I started liking Daryl, I was scared of him for the longest time, but when did that fear turn into adoration. Maybe when he stayed with me when I was hurt in Atlanta. Maybe when he gave me that package of ramen noodles. "Yeah, I really f-fuckin' like you" I smile as he slurs his words. "I like you too Daryl" I whisper as I place my hand on his cheek and lean in kissing him. He wraps his arms around waist pulling me closer. I can hear Glenn and t-dog trying to quietly celebrate down the hall (there not, there actually really loud) I pull away my hand still on his cheek. He's blushing, it's kind of cute seeing a man so big, and tough be flustered. "You wanna come inside?" I ask he nods rapidly, and I pull him in closing the door behind us.
What I've learned is that drunk Daryl and sober Daryl, are two completely separate people. Drunk Daryl is way more open about his feelings, softer, nicer too.
-
I wake up in the middle of the night my body halfway on top of Daryl. He's got his arms wrapped around me while he's snoring quietly. We were lucky this couch was able to fit the both of us. I lay my head back against his bare chest and listen to his heartbeat.
The next time I wake up is when Daryl wakes up.
We're both sat on the couch, discussing what had happened last night. "So do you really like me, or was it like something Glenn and t-dog made you say?" I whisper. His brows furrow as he looks at me "it wasn' a lie. I wouldn' lie bout somethin' like that." I nod as I inch closer to him. "Do ya really like me?" He asks I nod. "Yeah, I really like you" he smiles, I've never really seen him smile much. He's always got this stone-cold serious look on his face, but not now.
He leans in close and presses a kiss to my lips. After a while of just sitting soaking up each other's company we get up and head to the kitchen area. Almost everyone's already there, I guess it's a little harder to estimate what time it is being underground and all. Glenn's moaning and groaning about his hangover which makes me laugh. He probably drank more than he'd even drank in his life yesterday.
The rest want answers about the walkers, what's causing it, and shit like that so Jenner takes us back to the big room with the computers. I don't wanna know much about them, I like to know as little as I can, if I know too much it makes me paranoid. I'm happy living my life just trying to avoid them at all costs. He presses a few buttons and then says, "give me playback of ts-19."
"Playback of ts-19"
The big screen in front of us starts to show a video of a brain "few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few." Jenner says. "Is that a brain?" Carl asks, "an extraordinary one...not that it matters in the end." Replies Jenner.
"Take us in for e.i.v" Jenner says. "Enhanced internal view" the video then zooms in. We watch as we get closer and closer into the brain until we see the neurons. "What are those lights?" Shane asks. "It's a person's life..experiences, memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you, the thing that makes you unique. And human." Explains Jenner.
"You don't make sense ever" Daryl says. "Those are synapses, electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."
"Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick asks as he approaches Jenner. "Yes" Jenner says "or rather the playback of the vigil." We all watch the screen so interested in what Jenner is saying as well as the neurons. "This person died. Who?" Andrea asks "test subject 19. Someone who was bitten, and infected...and volunteered to have us record the process."
"Vi, scan forward to the first event."
"Scanning to first event."
It zooms back out and fasts forward. the brain stem begins to darken. "What is that?" Glenn asks "it invaded the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs." The brain goes completely dark. They died. "Then death" Jenner whispers to himself. "Everything you ever were or ever will be..gone."
"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asks "yes" her mother replies nodding. It's what happened to Jim, Amy, my brother, and possibly us one day too.
Andrea tries to blink back tears, but it just doesn't work "she lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." Lori explains to Jenner who is looking at her with his brows furrowed together.
"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is." Jenner says to Andrea. it is truly devastating, losing someone to this, watching them slowly lose their lives and then become the very monster that took it from them. "Scan to the second event!" Jenner shouts to vi as he walks away from Andrea.
"Scanning to second event."
"The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute...seven seconds."
The brain stem flickers back on. "It restarts the brain?" Lori asks. "No just the brain stem basically, it gets them up, and moving." Jenner says it just brings back the basic part like walking, biting, grabbing but not the human part. "But they're not alive?" Rick asks. Jenner walks back to rick pointing up to the screen "you tell me." Rick shakes his head "it's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark."
"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part that doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct." Then something goes straight through its brain. "God. What was that?" Carol asks, "he shot his patient in the head, didn't you?" Andrea asks.
"Vi power down the main screen and the workstations."
"Powering down main screen, and workstations"
The lights shut off. "You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea asks as she walks towards Jenner. "It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal" he doesn't know. No one does. There's not going to be a cure we're just going to have to suck it up and learn to live this way because life will never go back to what it used to be.
"Or the wrath of god?" Jacqui asks. "There is that." Maybe it was the wrath of God, or Mother Nature, or maybe our time was just up. Maybe human lives time was up, just like the dinosaurs. "Somebody must know something. Somebody somewhere" in times like this when I know I'm destined to die, and I just want to go back. Maybe do something different, maybe it's my fault I'm stuck in this situation. Maybe I did something as a kid to deserve this. I wish I got bit in the early days, died, became one of the walkers in the city because this is hell. Trying to survive, but also keep some kind of normalcy was hell. I don't know what day it is, or the time I'm just going on day to day, an empty shell of the person I used to be. I'm no longer that bright lively person, and I know it. how can you when you're living through the apocalypse. I'm not truly happy I'll never be, not anymore, I don't think I can. No matter how many people I have around me, how many of those I love are around me, I'll always think about the people I left behind, my roommate, my brother, my granddad. They're all dead, they're lucky they got the easy way out. I wish I did too.
"There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol asks. "There may be some. People like me." Jenner replies. "But you don't know? How can you not know?" Rick asks. "Everything went down. Communications, directives, all of it I've been in the dark for almost a month." Jenner explains. "So, it's not just here. There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying right?" We came here for no reason, we came for answers, and Jenner had none.
Andrea scoffs, we're all finally realizing this is not going to end. "Jesus" Jacqui mutters. "Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk..again" Daryl says as he leans himself against a cubicle "dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you, and I hate to ask one more question but...that clock it's counting down. What happens at zero?" The clock is at 59 minutes. "The...basement generators they run out of fuel." He seems uncertain or as if he's lying. He's not telling us the full truth, and I know that. Jenner begins to walk around "and then?" Rick asks. Jenner doesn't answer he just walks away. "Vi what happens when the power runs out?" Rick asks.
"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."
-
I sit in the office I had claimed as my sleeping quarters the previous night. Facility wide decontamination. Decontamination, we're going to die. The doors won't open back up that's what Jenner said at the beginning, once they shut, they aren't opening back up. So, if we wanted to leave, we can't. We'll have to die. And I'm fine with it. I'm fine with dying, I'm not sure if I even want to live this life anymore.
The air conditioner has shut off.
I'm becoming more and more comfortable with the thought of dying. If I died, I wouldn't have to do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore.
The lights shut off next. There's not much time left. Am I convincing myself I'm ready to die or am I really ready to die. I don't really have an option anymore, do I? So, I shouldn't think about it. If I think about it, I'll panic, so I should just not think about it. If I don't think about it will be fast, without any struggle, or crying just death in a flash.
I can hear everyone in the hallways asking what's happening. They're probably talking to Jenner. I'm staying curled up on the couch, I'm not moving.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Come in" I say meekly.
The door opens, and in comes Glenn. "Come on" I look up at him brows furrowed. "I want to stay in here" he sighs "come on just..please come with me" I begrudgingly get up and follow Glenn into the big room where everyone else is. Everyone's confused, and scared.
"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick asks as he power walks after Jenner. "The system is dropping all the nonessential use of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule"
31 minutes 28 seconds.
Jenners got a bottle of alcohol in his hands which Daryl snatches from him. "It was that French" I furrow my brows "what?" Andrea asks "they were the last ones to hold out as far as I know while our people were bolting out the doors, and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution." Jenner answers. He begins to walk father away from us "what happened?" Jacqui asks. "Same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice." Jenner explains. "The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?" Jenner says with a chuckle before turning back around. "Let me tell you-" Shane says trying to run after Jenner. Rick grabs at Shane "to hell with it Shane. I don't even care."
Rick turns towards his wife "Lori, grab our things, everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!" Rick shouts most of us start scattering when an alarm starts blaring "what's that?" Shane asks.
"30 minutes to decontamination" vi says.
Jenner walks over to a desk "doc, what's going on here!" Daryl shouts. "Everybody y'all heard Rick. Get your stuff, and let's go! Go now! Go!" Shouts Shane. Just when everyone was about to run out the door shuts.
"Did-did you just lock us in?!" Glenn stammered out. Jenner sits down not answering Glenn. "He just locked us in!" Glenn shouts fearfully. Everyone else begins to run back towards Jenner.
"Carl!"
"Mom!"
Daryl begins to run up to Jenner angrily. "You son of a bitch." Daryl barks as he sprints at Jenner. "Shane! Shane!" Rick shouts. Shane chases after Daryl "you locked us in here!" Shouts Daryl as he grabs onto Jenner. "No, stop don't!"
"You lying—"
"No, no, no, no!" Shane says as he pulls Daryl away. "Wait, no! No, don't do it." Shane and t-dog has to hold Daryl back as he angrily punches and tries to wiggle out of their grip. Rick marches up to Jenner "hey, Jenner, open that door now." Rick demands.
I'm leaning against one of the desks my face buried in my hands with my fingers spread so I can still see what's going on. "There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed." Jenner replies. "We'll open the damn things!" Shouts Dale.
I can't talk, I won't talk to anyone if I do, I'll cry, and I'll change my mind on being okay with dying. "That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that." Everyone else is stressing, carol especially she doesn't want her little girl to die this young. She wants Sophia to have a life, live a long life even during this mess. "It's better this way" Jenner says. Rick turns his head towards Jenner a little offended "what is? What happens in 28 minutes?" Rick says through his teeth as he walks closer to Jenner. Jenner doesn't answer just begin to type away at his computer. Shane begins to walk up. I guess he could see some tic in Rick because one second later he's shouting, "what happens in 28 minutes!"
Jenner stands up "you know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner shouts in both Shane and ricks faces before sitting back down. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." Jenner explains. Rick walks over to Jenner "H.I.T.s?" Jenner doesn't want to explain so he shouts to vi "vi, define."
"H.I.T.S high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives, consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power, and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000, and 6,000 degrees, and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."
"It sets the air on fire no pain." Jenner says. Carol is crying while holding her daughter close. "An end to sorrow, grief...regret......everything." Jenner whispers. He's right, this is the best way to die, death is almost instant. It's an end to all the grief, and sadness I've felt since the moment this thing started.
-
Daryl's throwing shit at the door trying to...I don't know break it? "Open the damn door!" Daryl shouts. I stare at my feet, what was there to live for anymore? "Out of my way!" Shouts Shane before he hurdles towards the door with an axe. It makes a noise similar to when you run your fingers nails down a chalk board. Blugh, it makes me want to puke. Both Daryl and Shane are pounding these pickaxes maybe regular axes I don't even know anymore. But they're just hitting, and hitting, and hitting, and all I want to do is curl into a tiny ball, and cry. My brain isn't working, and sound is starting to blur, fizzle out as I stare at my feet.
There was no need to live anymore, we were just going to be stuck in this mess of a world anyways. So why not die right now? Why does everyone but me want to get out? Is something wrong with me specifically? Am I just that fucked up in the head, that I don't want a second chance at life? I'm ready..but I'm not at the same time. Every time I convince myself I'm ready I just begin to think about what I could have in the future, but then I think about what I could've had, then I'm right back at the beginning. I don't want to live my life in constant fear of getting bitten, I don't want to live in the constant cycle of grief, and regret.
I'm not paying attention to anything that's happening. I'm ready, I'm ready. I keep telling myself that. I'm re-
"Come on, hey y/n he opened the door." Glenn snaps me out of the trance I was in. I shake my head "it's for the better" I whisper. Glenn furrows his eyebrows "what?" I let out a shaky breath "I-I don't want to live like this anymore Glenn, I want to stay" he shakes his head. "No, no I'm not leaving you here! I don't care I'm not leaving you here." He says I shake my head again. "I don't want to go" I whisper "I love you y/n, I can't just leave you here." I don't reply.
"Daryl!" He shouts waving him over. He runs over kneeling down next to me. "She doesn't want to leave, help me convince her to leave." Glenn whispers. I shake my head. I don't want to leave, I want to die. "We don' have time" Daryl says picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I kick and punch at Daryl begging him to let me stay but he doesn't do anything.
"Let me go Daryl" I cry "I want to stay."
We end up stopping at the door. "Hey, we've got four minutes left! Come on!" Shouts Glenn. "Daryl please, please, please. Leave me" I sob. "No, no, no m'not doin' that" he mutters. I can barely hear anything over my thoughts.
You need to stay. You need to stay. You need to stay. it was like a virus infecting my brain telling me that I needed to die.
Then we're running again. That's what snaps me out again. The only thing I notice is that dales, Andrea, and Jacqui are staying. If dales staying, I want to stay too, but Daryl won't let go. He's got a tight grip on me, that I can't wiggle out of.
We're going upstairs, and then we're on the top floor. I'm placed on the ground as Daryl, and Shane try to break through the windows. It won't work. This is a government building the windows are only able to break if there's an explosion. It won't break for axes, chairs, or gun fire.
"The glass won't break?!" Cries Sophia. "Rick, I have something that might help!" Carol says running up to Rick as she dug into the bag she held in her hands. "Carol, I don't think a nail files gonna do it." Carol ignores Shane's misogyny and continues to talk to Rick. "Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket." She says showing Rick a grenade.
Rick takes it from her, and everyone begins to take cover.
"Oh shi—"
Boom.
The windows broken. I'm still set on staying. I'm hoping Glenn, and Daryl will forget about me and leave me here. "Come on" Daryl's kneeled down next to me. I shake my head. "No, I want to die Daryl why can't you just let me die" I cry. "God dammit women ya can't just do this to me" he mutters before picking me back up and throwing me over his shoulder again. I'm being stupid, and stubborn I know, but why can't he just leave me here. I already said I want to die.
We're running towards the cars. Rick, and Shane shooting at walkers at the same time. The bomb definitely was bringing a bunch, so we had to hurry.
We make it to the cars unscathed. Daryl places me in the passenger side of his truck instead of the SUV I was originally in with Rick, and his family. We brace for impact.
3, 2, 1. Boom.
I think it's the most fire I've ever seen in my life. Jacqui's dead, but Dale, and Andrea made it out. Jacqui was a sweet lady. She cared for everyone even people who had wronged her. She didn't deserve to die, but she just ran out of hope. Hope, how can we have hope when we're going through this.
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#fanfics#x reader#the walking dead season 1#the walking dead#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixion x reader#daryl dixon#glenn rhee#Lori grimes#Rick grimes#Carl grimes#zombie apocalypse#zombie#female!reader#fem!reader
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I've been trying to get an idea of the timeline in s2. Big caveat before I share my thoughts: s1 had a very loose timeline, too, and I think trying to figure out exactly how many days pass between seasons is a waste of time because this show is powered by vibes. But here's what I'm thinking!
Episode 1 is our baseline - we don't know much time has passed exactly between seasons, but it's enough for Ed to break Ned Low's record and for Stede and co. to get settled in at the republic. I think episode 1 most likely takes place over several days - Stede's section does not clearly establish anything, and Ed says "we've got a record to break" right after he shoots Izzy, meaning the record is not yet broken during that scene.
Episode 2 most likely takes place right after ep 1, at least on Stede's side of the equation - Stede acts surprised about the wake-up call on Zheng Yi Sao's ship and they're all newly assigned roles; it's clearly their first day. I would buy it, however, if Ed's story has a few days between ep 1 and ep 2 - Izzy's leg might have needed some time to start rotting, and it would give some extra time for things to get dire for Ed's crew before the Red Flag finds them if their ep 2 events took place a few days before our timelines catch up.
Episode 3 isn't clear; there's been enough time for Stede and co. to get settled in with Zheng Yi Sao and enough time for Ed's crew to need to resort to hunting seagulls. It's probably not a lot of time; it's likely they didn't have many rations to start with (given they hadn't been returning to land) and it wasn't enough time for Ed to actually die of his injuries.
Ep 4 is easy, immediately after ep 3.
Ep 5 seems like it takes place immediately after ep 4, but personally I like to think there's another day in between. That would give Stede time to talk to the crew and figure out their conditions for Ed's probation and for Stede to write and make Ed memorize that little apology speech (Ed clearly didn't come up with that, Stede is mouthing along and Ed fumbles the safe space ship line). I also like to think Ed gets a day to nap and recover from his many concussions.
Ep 6 is the hard one. Lucius and Pete tell everyone they got engaged during this episode, but I honestly think that's just because there wasn't an episode in-between. Many people have talked about how it feels like there should have been an episode between 5 and 6, and I agree - I think it probably would've started with a "time is passing" montage like s1e6 did. In any case, enough time has passed for Ed to get out of probation (which he and Stede specifically agree would take more than a day in ep 5) and make good progress towards re-earning the crew's trust. The crew are much more comfortable with him in ep 6 and we know things have been calm enough the crew are feeling kinda bored. Personally I think it makes the most sense for there to be at least a week between 5 and 6.
After that, 7 and 8 are easy; they take place immediately after 6 and directly follow each other.
So, depending on how you interpret things, s2 could all take place in about a week or it could take place over a couple weeks. I lean towards the latter; I'd believe anything under about a month.
One thing that makes me lean towards a longer timeline is Ed's makeup. He's got a bruised cheek and a split lip following the mutiny, and given that this show likes to hand-wave injuries when they're not plot-relevant and TV shows don't usually waste time on makeup just for fun, I think that serves two purposes. First, and most importantly, it's a visible reminder Ed survived a suicide attempt not long ago, he's still in a fragile place. Secondly, it lets us know time is passing.
Ed looks like warmed-over shit in ep 3:
Still has visible bruises and a scabbed lip in ep 5:
And by ep 8 he's still got a faint bruise on his cheek but his lip has healed:
Again I know this show is hand-wavey with how injuries heal but I think the healing of Ed's injuries is an intentional enough sign that at least a week has passed between ep 3 and ep 8.
#ofmd#our flag means death#thank you for indulging me in this over-long analysis of the timeline in a show where the timeline barely matters
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Scratch in Scratch the Surface vs I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie
[[[spoilers for season 2]]]
Long post sorry
I've been comparing these two episodes a lot, especially after the song Ghosts Aren't the Enemy from Book Marks the Sprite reminding me SO much of Lose-Lose from season 1. The conflicts are pretty similar, Molly has to keep someone from finding out about Scratch because of real and disastrous consequences, although instead of the flow of failed phantoms, this season it's the ghost chaser Chens. They aren't directly comparable since the contexts are different (Libby is a close friend and Ollie is a romantic interest) ((I'M SPEAKING CANONICALLY DON'T KILL ME SHIPPERS)) and the plot of Some-Ollie isn't really "hide Scratch" it's more focused on Molly and Ollie's relationship and how Scratch is reacting to it. Speaking of which:
Scratch's reaction to Molly's concerns about Libby is very dismissive. He doesn't really care about her and he's not super invested in Molly's personal problems either. The only times he's helped her out (at this point in the series) is when it personally affects him or he feels familiar pity for her. (First Day Frights and The Best Concert Ever are good examples of this) He's not completely won over by her antics yet. And while he is concerned for her wellbeing at this point, it's more like the sort of concern and worry you feel when you see somebody who's clearly not gonna be able to make the entire 5k run. Like you're worried but it's better if you just don't get involved. Baseline empathy, really
He does start cracking when Molly asks if she can tell Libby because she's misinterpreting the situation. Even during this, Molly doesn't break Scratch's trust and doesn't outright tell her without asking first. Knowing what we know about Scratch now, I think he's always had a soft spot for friendships and hates seeing them end, even subconsciously. He smiles as Molly runs away to catch up with Libby but he's still not happy about it. Yeah he warms up to Libby but telling anyone about him is a potential danger, especially if they feel the need to tell anyone else.
And in Friend-Off, he didn't really have a justifiable reason to be a jerk to Libby other than Molly's scavenger hunt they were both forced to do. Everything he said (both of them said really) was out of a place of pure jealousy. He even admits that at the end of the episode.
What's important to point out is this entire episode he's only thinking about himself (not an uncommon trend for this character) and is only willing to sacrifice when pushed to do so. Not saying he's necessarily written badly in this episode, far from it, but it is quite a contrast between that and his actions in the season 2 episode 5a segment I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie.
I'd like to preface this with one of the scrapped titles for this ep was "Molly's Choice" and I think that will haunt me till I die that's such an evil title
I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie is a VERY compelling episode. While the set up for it and Scratch the Surface is similar, this one feels like it has more stakes involved. Molly has a crush on Oliver Chen, a ghost hunter, and you can see how that could immediately cause issues. Scratch is even more dismissive towards Molly at points because of this, even colder and snappier than some of season 1a in my opinion. (For good reason obviously) and while Scratch's concerns here are mostly fear for his own safety, it's also jealousy. If he was so worried about Ollie catching him, he wouldn't be around him at all, let alone trying to sabotage the dance.
Molly doesn't take the threat the Chens pose very seriously and dismisses most of Scratch's concerns. (Not that she's a bad friend for this, she just thinks they're silly YouTubers and wants to enjoy a middle school dance) Scratch eventually blows up on her and they get into a rather brutal argument for an episode 5 of a DTVA show. It's presented in the usual silly way but they both say some rather insensitive things to each other in the heat of the moment.
We've NEVER seen them disagree this hard on anything. They've had differing opinions before but neither of them is budging on this one. They split off and you can see what Molly said to him hurt. She seemingly chose what was more important to her. He seemed to look back as if he was debating on going back in to apologize to her for what he said and did too because she just wants to have a good time and he was trying to ruin that. But he decides he's the last thing she needs right now and starts to go home, only to get caught in a spectral snare.
Here's the REALLY important part I need y'all to listen closely:
He had every right to an "I told you so". He had every right to tell her never to see Ollie again and to even consider moving just to save his metaphorical skin. But he doesn't. She apologizes first and he interjects with his own apology for trying to ruin her night. Her happiness is what's most important to him now. That priority shift happened since Out of House and Home, maybe arguably even sooner. He doesn't tell her never to see him again, in fact he IMPLIES that she should be able to do what she wants and he wouldn't interfere anymore. It was Molly's choice to cut it off with Ollie after seeing Scratch in that much danger.
He's still a self centered jerk with possessive tendencies and separation anxiety but it's important to point out that he recognizes Molly as her own person and he shouldn't interfere with her happiness. I think season 1a Scratch wouldn't have even LET her go to the dance with a ghost hunter as her co-chair to begin with. I know I don't need to defend Scratch's actions since most people are on his side in this episode (a weird change of pace) but I needed to get my thoughts out about him and his development so far. My boy has come so far, they feel like good, real friends. Also I'm just gonna reiterate Molly wasn't completely at fault here because she just wanted to enjoy the dance and both her and Scratch had equal fault in this scenario, that's called ✨good writing✨, you don't have to pick a side. THE WORLD ISN'T BLACK AND WHITE, OLLIE
I hope they address Scratch's jealous nature in a future episode, especially since they're hinting towards an Ollie redemption. After the ghost hunting fear is gone, that jealousy is gonna still be there, I'm kind of hoping after that talk outside of the school where Scratch resigned himself to whatever Molly wanted to do, he wouldn't be too jealous of him and we won't have a Friend-Off 2 or something. (Although if he decides to be a little petty and messes with Ollie a little, I welcome that. That sounds really funny honestly)
I feel like halfway through this I just started rambling, I hope my point made it across clearly LOL tldr; scratch is a well written character and he means so much to me and if I see any Molly/Ollie/Mollie slander on my account I will be throwing hands <3
#the ghost and molly mcgee#tgamm#tgamm spoilers#tgamm season 2#long reads#character analysis#scratch mcgee#and i care them so much#the besties ever#im so excited for this season#i think about 5a a lot if you cant tell#i have many thoughts and hate seeing this ep misrepresented#which i see often#thank you for reading
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One Piece live action spoilers (Ep 1 and half of 2)
So I watched 1 and a half episodes so far of the One Piece live action (I'll probably finish it by the weekend or something), here are my thoughts (esp of the differences) so far:
Luffy talking to the seagull while his ship is sinking, just perfection
I really liked how Luffy saw Zorro in the bar and the whole confrontation with Helmeppo before trying to recruit him. Like, obviously the og scene in anime and manga is legendary, but it not only makes more sense, it is also easier for a more compromised storytelling. In anime and manga you have other people often explaining stuff in monolugues or inner thoughts, which tbf works in those but not so well in live action. Also less complicated with child acting laws since the girl only had one scene here
Also we're getting reminded of Zorro being a pirate/bountyhunter before joining Luffy. Him just being absolutely ruthless apparently and cutting people's heads of, like, yeah you go on. Keep going.
Helmeppo swinging around Zorros sword while butt naked, and Zorro cutting of his hair WHICH IS APPARENTLY WORSE THAN BEING CUT OPEN. That was honestly just gold.
Tiny Luffy is adorable, and apparently he's living in some sort of basement? It's a nice detail cause they never showed where and how he lived in anime/manga before you know who dropped him off with the other you know. Like, he's just living there, and the villagers give him what he needs.
Girlboss Nami
I'm so happy to see Nami punching people with her staff. Her new weapons are great, and she obviously needed more than a wooden staff at some point, but I really sometimes wish she would still go on close combat with her enemies. Like, mix her weapons power with some close combat techniques during fights
Nami didn't have anything to do with Buggy before here. I have nothing to say about that honestly.
GARP FEEDING THE SNAIL
Garp hearing about Luffy from that new pink haired cadet: Please no. Just no.
EVERYONE BEING CREEPY BASTARDS
Especially Buggy with his powers, because it really would be totally freaky irl, so they made it creepy (👌)
Him enslaving the WHOLE town and pulling of a circus show with them? Triple yes. He's freaky. I mean, if later seasons follow his character like the anime he will turn out less freaky and scary to the viewer, but for the people in that world he's always gonna be horrifying
LUFFY SWALLOWING THE CARD. Seriously. Everyone is creepy except Nami and Coby so far. He's no exception. Also that face when he thought he beheaded Buggy. No regret, just baffled
Back to the town: I think that was a great decision. Making clear that pirates are technically still the bad guys in that world. Yes, this is about a group of pirates. No they're not like that, but they are pirates and most other pirates are absolutely ruthless, or mad, or both. And Buggy is mad, ruthless and has some serious ego problems
Morgan is the first sign of a corrupted world government we have in the show and it is somehow more obvious then when I was first watching the anime. Probably because it was the first episodes of over a thousand (I catched up at ep 804 precisely btw) and I watched a minimum of 5 episodes at the beginning. But him in the second episode lying about the events of the first is already showing that the marines are supposed to be the good guys in-universe, but it's also the world government and military. People will lie, be assholes and corrupt
Luffy: Eats a devil fruit, Makino: Please stop destroying my furniture
#one piece spoilers#one piece live action#one piece#coby one piece#roronoa zoro#nami#one piece nami#monkey d. luffy#straw hat luffy#vice admiral garp#helmeppo one piece#buggy the clown#buggy one piece
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happy thursday hoes. time for some law and some order
Well fuck…what an opening..
“but there are definitely still traces of blood” girl… that hammer is COATED wtf…
I would like to point out that the way Kate runs her squad is the legit way that squads run. The CO (whether it be captain, lieutenant or sarge) is gonna stay in the office, they’re piled up with paperwork, the brass, putting out fires, they’re not out in the field…. Like svu. Ugh. I’m already not prepared for svu tonight, I’ve been watching through velasco’s eps and his older seasons were so good, esp compared to this year…
So we’re really doing this Ukraine surrogate/adoption plot line again, hey?
(I mean it is slightly different so far but like, it’s the same idea, right lol)
Samantha crushing it in the wardrobe dept as per usual
I like this new DA so much more than mccoy. Sorry not sorry.
I haven’t been paying too much attention to what’s going on (surprise) BUT, wtf does this case have to do with the grand jury that was taking place at the beg of the ep? With the girl all “he doesn’t know I’m here, right?” like, that girl was the murder vic? Or am I on crack? What is the connection?!
Uugggh… saaaammm my baby just needs a HUUUGGG
Okay, im actively not watching Toronto, see ya in an hour for svu.
Starting off with some personal, at home comfort. This is what we’ve been asking for forever (now give us rollisi at home pls).
OHHH GOD WHY ARE WE ALREADY BACK TO THE MADDIE SHIT FFS.
“I googled you”
Oh booooyyy are we in for it now. HOW MUCH DOES NOAH KNOW?! CAUSE LORD KNOWS HE PROBABLY FELL DOWN A PIT OF NEWS ARTICLES.
NO
WHY
WE DO NOT NEED TO BRING WL BACK TO THIS SHIT LET US HAVE SOME PEACE PLS.
Okay so we finally did get noah discovering where he came from. Woof.
Olivia kinda sucks at parenting sometimes. Like… he’s a kid, he’s an *adopted* kid who already knows about gramma Sheila and ellie… he’s gonna be curious, he’s gonna wonder, also what kid HASN’T snooped through their parents private things? Like yeah it’s not ideal… it’d be best for him to ask you a question and you slowly reveal into things or whatever but we all know she just would’ve shut him down right away anyways.
Lowkey love those heart lights in noahs room, ngl.
I’m not gonna lie. If it was olivia I’d be more concerned about him knowing/reading about William lewis and all the shit that went down than finding out johnny d was his dad…
You know what I think? I think this would be a great time to call you bestie amanda and have her over for a bottle of wine while you talk this through and see what jessie knows about her dad/how amanda’s gonna approach that. Also like, does billie just think sonny’s her dad or does she know? LOL. But will that happen? Obviously not.
Okay you know what, carisi is the second best bet so I’ll take this.
Olivia really needs to catch a fucking break
Carisi you sit like a whore. But we already knew that.
Is there not a way to trace this call? Or like, I know the phone is about to die but like…find my iphone even works on dead phones…use the stepmoms phone rn to find out where she is. Easy fix. Use your brains.
Man… parents on these shows are always so fucking trusting of their kids and they think they know everything about them. Like...what world are we living in?
Awweeee lil carisi back in cop mode!
Girl… you barely looked in that one, that’s not clear
Me: where do I know this actor playing the step mom from?
Checks imbd: ah. She’s been on svu as a diff character before. Of course.
We love a good parent who immediately offers up all their money to pay ransom of their kids bff with no question.
I swear to god it wasn’t raining 5 seconds ago.. I get that these are likely filmed on diff days but that really came outta nowhere
Olivia’s drenched and velasco’s barely wet… wtf lol
Oh god she’s really about to go feral isn’t she? Like, even velasco’s nervous af.
That’s exactly what I knew he was gonna say. Like, liv should’ve just said she was dead.
Okay what about the other three perps? Where are they?
JESUS FUCK. Velasco… be mean to me. yell at me.. degrade me. jfc.
Okay I love that when she told Velasco to put the perp in her car he was all “uh… that a good idea boss?” kinda unsure thing but as soon as she started going feral he was just all “yup. Okay. I know how to do this.” And was totally on board. That’s my boi
“youre lucky im not in IAB anymore” damn right bitch.
That’s a cozy ass looking sweater liv has on and I want it
He already knows about ellie…why are we starting there?
I can’t wait until this conversation sparks a “hey… can we go see grama Sheila? Is she still sick?” and liv THEN has to explain that gramma Sheila is in fact in JAIL because she kidnapped him
Okay… that episode was honestly really good. It was a nice balance of the at home/personal lives and the case.
OC time.
Pls god have a last time on cause I do not remember what was happening… baby bro joe was doing heroine? That’s all I remember
Is this his apartment or elliots apt? it looks similar but also I like it better lol.
Bernie is a blessing to this show.
Elliot all “an intervention?” as if they didn’t host one for him like two years ago?
Also I JUST watched the ep with Muncy’s brother this week and that actor is baby boy joe stabler so this is throwing me off.
Is this an apt or a hotel? CAUSE ITS GORGEOUS!! HOW TF ARE THESE STABLER MEN AFFORDING THIS SHIT IN NYC?!
“we don’t do that…” jet. Another fucking legend on this show
SO glad Bell’s back.
Clearly im not paying attention to this ep in case anyone’s wondering (and yes, it is because it’s a stabler ep…)
Leave it to stabler to be there less than 5 mins before beating someone
OH MY GODDDDD BELL LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD IN THAT BLUE SHIRT
Thank god bell had bobby with her cause homegirl had a cane last week, there’d be no way she should be on a foot chase rn. Lol
Omg jet and bobby UC yet AGAIN. I fucking love it.
Jet being absolutely the person that likely annoys the hell outta her, love that.
#law and order svu#svu#law and order#law and order special victims unit#law and order spoilers#spoilers#svu spoilers#law and order organized crime
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If you had to pick an episode for Jeff and Annie to get together, which one would it be?
Hmmm excellent question
I think that, because it’s community and the focus has never been on relationships too much, I would’ve liked them doing relationship stuff on the sidelines. Like—
Maybe have them just hook up in season 4
add a scene at the end of the Christmas episode where everyone else has gone home and they are laughing about the day and Annie is helping clean.
She says something like “sorry if I made that get out of hand. I know I can be… dramatic… and too much”
And Jeff can say something like “cmon Annie. You’re never too much. You’re a perfect amount and make every situation better even when you make it worse”
He goes to move into the kitchen, or tries to ruffle her hair but she catches his hand, looking gobsmacked, and they look at each other
End episode
Then the next episode is the body switching episode (a lot of people say the best ep of season 4 and that’s fair, except troy treats poor Britta like crap)
Start it with Annie waking up in Jeff’s bed and sneaking out
Maybe they are kind of avoiding eye contact that day
When Jeff has his speech to Troy about how he wishes he was brave enough to commit to a relationship, maybe a line about how knowing troy makes him feel braver? Implied he’s thinking about Annie
At the end of the episode he goes to talk to Annie and it’s obvious he’s going to suggest they actually date but before he gets there she cuts him off and says:
“Jeff, knowing you has really helped me relax. I love that I don’t always have to be thinking of the future! I can just live my life and see where things go. I guess I’m more mature now!”
As she wanders off, it’s clear that Jeff is devastated
Then never address it again in season 4
In season 5, maybe one glance in the first episode that makes it clear that they aren’t sure where they left off
In the polygraph episode just add a line where pierce conveys to the gang
“did you know Mr. Winger and Ms. Edison have been seeing each other since they got back to greendale?”
Everyone is shocked
Jeff cries out “how could he know that”
Annie is like “pierce promised our monthly coffee catch ups were confidential!” Or something
Then when questioned, both insist “we’re casual! It’s casual!”
The rest of the season, their interactions are a bit different. They hold hands when people aren’t looking, he’s shown holding her food or bringing her coffee.
Season 5 finale
in the show has the Jeff-Britta engagement. If we really need to keep that we can have Jeff/Annie say they’ve ended things at the start of the episode.
But I say we get rid of the subplot.
Maybe instead he and Annie are talking about ending things in their casual relationship since it’s ~casual~ and they are going to have to separate when the school is closed.
And maybe she’s like “it works out; Abed wants to downsize to a cheaper place anyway; I’m going to transfer out of the city because city college doesn’t have forensics so I guess I’m moving.”
Both are sad
After Jeff’s burst of emotion that opens the door, Jeff stops Annie at the end of the episode
He says “I’m tired of pretending not to have emotions. I don’t want us to be casual, we saved the school so you can stay” and she’s like “but abed already found a one bedroom”
He’s like “move in with me.” She agrees.
Then in season 6, they just are together but it’s only shown in a few throwaway lines an episode
She can even still leave him for her job in the finale if they want it to be sad, but I’d prefer if in their last scene together, he’s like “I’ve never left Colorado but I’ve always wanted to travel, can I come with you?”
Because I hated that Jeff never got to go anywhere in his life
I think this way would lead to minimal changes, like max one subplot would need changing and like one minute’s worth of scenes for every episode I mentioned.
In conclusion:
hook up in season 4 Christmas ep; get outed in the polygraph episode; make it official in season 5 finale
#jeffannie#jeff x annie#annie x jeff#nbc community#community#annie edison#jeff winger#community tv#ask
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20 questions for fic writers
I was tagged by my dear, talented friend @mihrsuri Thanks, friend! 💜💜💜💜
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
13 at the moment 😅
2. What's your total Ao3 word count?
28,823
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The West Wing.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
The First Lady - my ongoing fic where I answer the most important question in the world: what was Abbey Bartlet doing during the episodes she didn't appear in?
Josh and the Jackass - what happened right before Governor Bartlet decided to follow Josh to the airport in In the Shadow of Two Gunmen.
Breathe - a post-ep for Dead Irish Writers. Her birthday party is over, and Abbey Bartlet must face the New Hampshire Medical Board.
A Bit Desperate - part three of a series of three-sentence fics about Abbey and Jed in the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.
Anything Else I Need to Know - Five times the staff of Bartlet for America interrupted a barbecuing session and one time CJ interrupted a different kind of session. Takes place during the First Bartlet Campaign.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes, I do. I do my best to respond to every comment I get, as fast as I can. It's a two-way street, we, as fic authors, often complain (and rightly so) about the lack of feedback, the lack of comments and kudos, but we don't respond to comments. As a reader, I am more likely to comment on a fic from an author who's replied to my comments earlier. But I guess I get so few comments that I can easily respond to all of them 🤷♀️ and since there are like 7 people who care about what I write, the least I can do is respond to their very kind comments 💜💜
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I guess it's Anything Else I Need to Know. The ending isn't too angsty by itself, but if you put it into context and you know the overarching plot of first few seasons of TWW, it's definitely angsty. Honorable mentions: With Pomp and Parade & And the Silence Haunts our Bedchamber - they both deal with the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
White Christmas. And Something for Us to Remember too also qualifies. You have to read them to know why 😊😉
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Luckily, I'm not popular or interesting enough for that 😅
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes! Oh, all kinds! The worst thing I've ever written came before I started my fanfic writing career (I used to be involved in forum RP, I'm less active there now) and... nope, I'm not going to write about it here. Too cursed. 🙈🙈 If you want to see some sane smut I've written, check out Game On, Boyfriend! I hope I'll write another barbecuing fic soon, so stay tuned.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't. But I'd love to see a TWW/NCIS crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I hope not.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but if anyone's interested, go ahead.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I haven't. The closest thing to co-writing fics was RP-ing which is sort of similar, but not really lol. It might be fun, so if anyone's interested in writing with me, let me know.
14. What's your all time favorite ship?
Abbey/Jed! There are many ships I love, but I have to go with my horny nerds.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
There was a WIP I started last year, the first fic I posted, but I ended up deleting it, so it's not very likely that I'll ever finish it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm really, really good at research lol! If I'm writing a fic set in the 1960s, I'll make sure that they're eating food, wearing clothes, listening to music etc. that was popular in that period. You won't catch any of my characters wearing historically inaccurate shoes. I'm also really good at digging up random canon details and writing thousands of words around them.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Plot lmao. I write fics about nothing, it's just banter and nerdiness, with the characters and/or the author showing off 🤣🤣
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Hmmm... I don't know, don't think I've ever needed to do it, but I guess it depends on what I want to achieve, I might write it in English and add a dialogue tag like "she said in French" or something.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
The first fandom I published a fic for was The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, but the first fandom I wrote for was Harry Potter.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Can't choose only one, so have a few of them:
Breathe: Once again, Abbey is reminded how cruel the world can be towards women.
No one asked Jed what he was wearing when he took the censure.
Anything Else I Need to Know: Josh finally opens the door to his room and slumps on his unmade bed.
Next time, he’s going to pay attention. He’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s notes on the Governor's schedule. And he’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s instructions, so he’ll know what her notes on the Governor’s schedule actually mean. Next time, he’s going to pay attention.
Had Josh been paying attention, he would’ve noticed when the Governor dashed across the hall and up the stairs right after lunch. Had he been paying attention, he would’ve noticed Leo’s smirk that followed the Governor’s departure. Had he been paying attention, perhaps he would’ve noticed the soft, rhythmic squeaking of the bed and muffled gasps and groans coming from the Bartlets’ suite right before he opened the door.
Well, too bad that Josh wasn’t paying attention.
And Something for Us to Remember too: “I take it your conversation with Doug didn’t go well?”
“I spoke slowly and I didn’t use big words, but I couldn’t talk him out of marrying Liz. Maybe I should’ve taken him on a hike. A six-hour hike through Vermont wilderness in the dead of winter would’ve changed his mind.”
“It wasn’t a six-hour anything! I was there, Jed, you were only gone for two hours.”
“You weren’t there, Abigail, you were baking with your mother, while I was fighting for dear life, braving the cold and wolves and bears.” He sighs and adds, “Guess it’s too late to take Doug hiking now and leave him for the bears.”
White Christmas: “’She – New Hampshire – is one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other’, said Robert Frost, your favorite poet, who also happened to be the poet laureate of Vermont.” Abbey made a dramatic pause and gave Jed a pointed look.
“She’s one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other.” She continued her performance. “And the two… the two lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end.”
Jed chuckled.
“Sweet Knees, we’ll lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end any time you want,” he leered at her, “on our bed, in front of the fireplace, on the kitchen table…” his smirk grew when Abbey’s lips curved into a little smile and her cheeks flushed, “but Robert Frost named his poetry collection New Hampshire, not Vermont.”
“Well, I’m going to write the words ‘Freedom and Unity’ on the pie and you’re going to eat them!”
The First Lady: “Mrs. Landingham withholds food from me,” he complained.
“Because I asked her to.”
“Yeah, cause you don’t want me eating real food like steaks or hamburgers. She won’t let me have a banana.”
“I’m sure you did something to piss her off.” Abbey shrugged.
“Do you two enjoy torturing me?”
“Yes,” she said innocently.
Tagging (no pressure!): @claudiajcregg @onekisstotakewithme @hondagirll @miabicicletta @librarianmouse @holy-ships-x-red-lips
💜💜💜💜💜💜
#20 questions for fic writers#my fic#the west wing#abbey bartlet#mrs doctor abbey first lady doctor#abbey x jed
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