#namjoon fs
Text
RM’S CHAOTIC LOVE LIFE ANALYZED IN SONG LYRICS
This is all alleged and speculation. No relationships are proven true until confirmed by the idols themselves or their agencies. Do not take this personally or too seriously. This is just an extreme over-analysis of song lyrics and observations I have made about idol interactions from years of being a K-Pop fan. This is a work in progress- RM has like a million songs and I am constantly going back and rediscovering new meaning in lyrics and adding to the song list. So buckle up, get a snack and a drink because I basically typed an 12 page thesis.
Indigo track-by-track analyses link
Favorite Girl (2012)- girl broke up with him over a letter in the winter
Thinkin Bout U- mentions red converse high girl
Coffee (2013)-bitter over breakup bc became idol?
Blanket kick (2014)- keep being/acting embarrassing around crush/gf and admits a lot of songs about her- possibly about yerin?
Miss right (2014)- maybe about yerin? possibly about wishing to be in ideal relationship but can’t bc idol
Where did you come from (2014)-superficial love
Boy in luv (2014)- unrequited love and changing oneself to try to get her affections
Danger (2014)-unaffectionate/uncaring gf not putting her all in the relationship
Intro:what am I to you (2014)-relationship started out too intense so gf put up barriers and shut bf out
Converse high (2015), converse high (predebut) -song that I believe is about yerin from 15&
Run (2015)- giving your all to someone who doesn’t appreciate it
Hold me tight (2015)-knows breakup is about to occur but wants to rekindle feelings from beginning of relationship
I NEED U (2015)- how because of this girl, they are becoming ruined and they want out of the relationship. However, they cannot bring themselves to leave and begs her to break it off for him. They are going through hell because of this relationship yet they keep coming back.
Autumn leaves (2016)- refusing to move on from breakup
Love is not over (2016)-refusing to move on from breakup where girl clearly didn’t love him/ she was toying with him or realized that hookups don’t satisfy them bc only last the night and person only theirs when they are physically in the bed
Blood sweat tears (2016)- addicted to sex with someone
Dilemma (2016)- gf feeling like stranger as she becomes distant but rm still refuses to let go bc he loves her
13430 (2018)-galactic ode to lovers whose bond dwindles, eventually breaking aloof.
Fake love (2018)- “I’m so sick of this fake love” Pretty self explanatory. The same message will be repealed in “Her” and “Closer”.
Her (2018)- the person they are in love with doesn't know the real them, only the mask they put on
Truth untold (2018)- It speaks of the singer putting on a mask to see the one that they love. They create a facade to hide behind so the object of their affection doesn’t see their broken and damaged side. They are afraid that their love will leave them because of their hidden side. They have a love, but it is fake love because they aren’t being real and so because they did not have the courage to show their love their real self, they left. They are left sitting in their ruined dream reminiscing about what would’ve happened if things turned out differently.
Im fine (2018)- a little self growth yay! Went from “save me” to “I’m fine”
Euphoria (2018)- happiness associated with young love and new beginnings. There are some underlying tones of feelings of how their love is fake and not based on attraction
Waste it on Me (2018)- a hopeless and hopeful love affair. While one side of the relationship labels the concept of love as a waste, the other strongly advocates for the pursuit.
Jamais Vu (2019)- can never do right by gf so want another chance
Crying over you (2019)- breakup but each person is mature enough to let go of each other and sending wishes that their ex would find a better person whom perfectly fit for them.
TOMORROW X TOGETHER - 0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You) (2021)- apparently RM had part in writing this song. He must have been loved up in his couple ring era because this song screams honeymoon stage. Clearly it didn't last based on the angry songs in this list that came afterward.
Young Love (2022)- We don’t know which of the members this viewpoint is about, so I will include this song just to be safe
SEXY NUKIM (2022)- you know the part I’m referring to… Girl you can keep it low While we do the ride I'll apply you tonight Ain't gotta DM 'Cause you heard about my team”
Closer (2022)- Namjoon, man. Will you ever learn your lesson?! You can’t replace sex with love! And you know it too. You’ve written like 20 songs about this very thing.
Change pt. 2 (2022)- MANS HEXED HIS EX LMAOOO. I WOULD BE SCARED SHITLESS. “SOMEDAY A GREAT GRIEF WILL DO COME FOR YOU AND THEN YOULL KNOW IT TOO THATS ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU. YOU CANT LOVE SOMEONE LIKE I DO”
Smoke Sprite (2022)- Honey, what you doin' in my bed? Yeah, Uh, baby, welcome to my favorite place, yes→ RM said 2022 IS THE YEAR I LET EVERYONE KNOW IM NOT A VIRGIN
Dont ever say love me (2023)- “I wanna die when youre next to me” like man wants to breakup so bad because even when youre around him you give him the ick
WHO ARE THE SONGS ABOUT?
ANONYMOUS PRE-DEBUT CITIZEN
RM admitted to having a girlfriend in highschool during a 2015 episode of Problematic Men. He said it was a short-lived relationship because she had too many male friends and was causing him to be jealous. Speaking of 2015, notice how the other men are rushing him to try and slip up and admit that he is dating? Or admit that he would write a letter to a sweetheart? That goes into my theory about Yerin below, with the timelines matching up in 2015. RM is notoriously TOO honest and his Problematic Men hyungs knew it, with Namjoon probably gushing about his girlfriend at after-taping 회식, and were wanting him to slip up and spill on air. RM finally admitted that he would write a song for his crush on White Day (cough cough Converse High cough cough).
YERIN
While BTS has never had a confirmed partner since debut, Baek Yerin is the only rumored girlfriend RM has had tabloids write about. Yerin is the only one of the three women I’m the most confident about in this analysis that he has had a relationship with. I am fairly certain that RM has a crush on Hwasa, and that Chaeyoung has a crush on RM.
Yerin’s entire 2019 album “Every letter I sent you.” seems to be a reflection of the passionate love (and toxic) affair her and Namjoon had when they were around ages 18/19-20/21. It could be possible they dated even as early as when Namjoon was 16 if his earlier unreleased love songs are about her, as well. That’s highly unlikely, as Yerin is the same age as Jungkook, 3 years younger than Namjoon.
Her songs often mention tons of sex, drunken nights, smoking, and fights. This sounds highly out of character for Namjoon (minus the sex and a little bit of drinking). There are rumors that some BTS members smoked, though it’s not confirmed who they are and if they still do. (Edit: Taehyung was officially confirmed to have smoked after pictures of him smoking at the 2022 Grammys were leaked. There were also numerous other occasions where he was holding a vape in his hand, but nothing as big as this “Grammys smoking scandal” went as viral. Jungkook is also confirmed to smoke after his vape was revealed in a Weverse live. Suga alludes to him being a constant smoker in his song “Haegeum”, and he does hold that cigarette like a seasoned pro… but the cig reference was mainly a call out to overprotective fans who think they they can tell other people what they can do with their bodies.)
They most likely had a karmic relationship- an intense but PAINFUL relationship that will rip you out and spit you out. Every hidden side of you is revealed through sex and intimacy, but it is so intense, that you cannot be with the person forever but you feed off of each other’s brokenness. I’m sure if you asked them about what they learned from that relationship, they would say they learned SO MUCH about life, love, and self.
It (allegedly) definitely seems like Namjoon broke up with her around 2015-2016 after the success of I NEED U, when BTS became busier and he had less time to spend with her. From the timeline of BTS songs, I would place their relationship anywhere from 2012-2015. While he was heartbroken for YEARS after this (see the above listed songs, the longest list off all 3 lyrics lists), he has now come to terms with it. It seems like Yerin has come to terms with it as well, as this blog post breaks down each song meaning beautifully. It seems like Yerin has found a box of diaries or love letters from this relationship and has written songs in chronological order of the entire timeline, from beginning to end, with the last song talking about her getting closure with viewing the memories and how the two were not meant to be.
Yerin states that “This album reflects memories, dilemmas, and thought processes I had from when I was nineteen to twenty three.” She is currently 24 years old Korean age (23 years old standard age at the time that I wrote this in 2020, she would be 26 years old in 2023 now). This would put the beginning of the album at 19 years old in 2014 to 23 years in 2018. The timeline does match.
Maybe its not our fault (2019)- how partners in relationship slowly started to drift apart
0310- sex cant save a relationship
It’s like I dont know myself (2017)- the more he probes the more she loses herself and him
Meant to Be (2019)- about namjoon 100000% id bet my life on it. Him saying they’re meant to be, he’s kind.
Across the Universe (2015)- hes slipping away but shes clinging to him
Mr. Gloomy (2019)- talking about how hes so melancholy and loves rainy days (Namjoon forever rain)
Bye Bye My Blue (2016)- becoming resentful of Namjoon’s growing fame while her career is stagnant
“Cuz I’m afraid to say things I want to say. I push you away and make things uncomfortable”
CAN I BE U (2019)- most likely a response to I NEED U
His Ocean (2016)- NJ trying to get a deep connection but Yerin resisting. Namjoon also has a fascination with oceans and always mentions it in lyrics.
“I'm not good at emptying my heart. It's not as easy as it sounds. But why do you keep asking me to do something I can't? There's a lot that has built up in my heart. I can't get rid of it and I'm always frustrated”
Amy (2019)- apologizing for the hardships she put him through in the relationship and admitting she buys all their albums and that their Love Yourself campaign has helped her (allegedly)
Popo (2019) - saying how intoxicated she is with the man (his eyes, his scent, his voice). If the song is about NJ, I mean, same girl. The man in the song wrote her a song and played it for her.
“You'll never know How much your voice attracts me, boy. It's exceptional Especially When you're playing the song for me. I can't take my eyes away”
Datoom (2019)- Reflecting on how much they argued before they broke up
Not a girl (2019) - seoulbeats (linked above) sums up this song perfectly: “Yerin wanting to speak up for herself against a lover who doesn’t seem to truly be for her. There lies a misunderstanding between who he attempts to see her as, versus who she believes she truly is.”
“Can’t be what you want. I can’t be what you were. I can’t say I have done so many things but now. Can’t be good enough”
Newsong2 (2019)- "Want to be just like you once. Make it up if I do wrong. Ignore and leave the silence". Make up and brush it under the rug.
Point (2019)- insecure partner in love keeps questioning her love
London (2019)-partner is trying to idealize her and is not seeing her for who she is
HWASA
It does seem that Namjoon has a thing for Cancers, if my and others’ speculations about his dating life are true. Both Yerin and Hwasa are Cancer suns. While Namjoon’s Cancer Mars is in his 8th house and plays a predominant role in his life and relationships, it is clear to see why he is drawn to Cancer sun individuals. But remember, the 8th house is death and rebirth. Karmic relationships.
Hwasa and Namjoon do have a lot of similarities, from not only looking similar (face, tan, thicc), but to being criticized by fans and media alike (tan, ignorance. RM has apologized and grown from his mistakes. Still waiting on Hwasa’s genuine apology since she continues to appropriate… and do blackface). Both are also highly sexual beings.
While the man in her songs has characteristics that sound a lot like him, so do many other anonymous citizens of Seoul like Hwasa stated. She makes her ex sound like he was available whenever to come and see her, and RM being part of the biggest boy group on the planet doesn’t have much free time, even though his personality is very empathetic and giving. The only reason I included her is because a lot of other people seem to think there was something going on between the two, whether it was a FWB situation or brief one-month romance. I will admit I do not keep up with Mamamoo or Hwasa at all so these are the only songs I know by her. I have heard rumors that she has been in a steady relationship with a man like 10 years older than her and is in a prominent position, like a ceo or something? All alleged, of course. You can never really trust that stuff.
Twit (2019)- how Hwasa wants her lover to not be so passive, loving, and predictable, but take charge and surprise her. This song seems the most likely of Hwasa’s songs to be about NJ because Yerin and BTS’s songs about exes have mentioned the man giving so much of himself into the relationship that he loses himself. Hwasa fans speculate that Twit may be about Loco, as he was VERY chivalrous and swooned over her every time they worked together.
“You give me a lot, but why are you the only one feeling unhappy? Because you breathe only for me. You look so lonely”
Why (2020)- missing her ex, most likely the lover from Twit
“You're my hero. We have many similarities, like a mirror”
Kidding (2020)- sarcastic remarks to a cheating ex and his new lover. Not quite sure if this is about Namjoon because his natal chart doesn’t really have any aspects linking to cheating, but natal charts aren’t the end-all-be-all. Everyone still has free will, and he very well may have cheated.
“Of course you must have been busy. You two falling in love. It’s an old thing that’s thrown out after one use. You’re going to regret it soon. Isn’t it so ironic?”
CHAEYOUNG
Another slightly uncomfortable pattern in all of these alleged “exes” is that RM likes to date younger women, as every single “ex-girlfriend” listed here is younger than him. Namjoon was born in 1994, Hwasa in 1995, Yerin in 1997…. and Chaeyoung in 1999. Namjoon… dude. Chaeyoung is a Taurus, which vibes well with his Virgo sun. Namjoon also has his descendant in Taurus, which is what he looks for in a marriage partner. I don’t have any of the girls’ birth times, but standard 1200 time all results in negative match scores, showing that the majority of Namjoon and each individual girl’s natal chart did not sync well for a compatible match.
Whenever there are multiple fan videos of idol ships, take notice. Weed out the delusional ones but pay attention to ones that seem plausible after researching the K-Pop industry and how idols get away with dating. Idols have confirmed that looking at each other is a form of flirting when at award shows. And there are plenty of clips of RM and Chaeyoung doing just that. Chaeyoung has written her own rap lyrics but mostly it is about a crush and then immediately to heartbreak, so clearly the relationship didn’t last long. The song timelines from crush (2016) to regret (2018) show a brief interlude of happiness and touching (2017). My guess is that after pursuing RM for quite some time, he gave in and hooked up with her, but she wanted more and got her heart broken.
Precious Love (2016)- apologizing and asking scorned ex to come back
“I’m so sorry. Please come back. Do you still feel the same? Have you still not forgiven me? Have the scars I’ve given you Not healed yet? Or have you replaced me With someone else? Is there no place for me In your heart anymore?”
Daring Woman (2016)- she’s young but stop pushing her away
Eye Eye Eyes (2017)- describing a crush she has on someone. Mentions white tee shirt and jeans that he likes, possible reference to converse high
“Ocean-like eyes, I’ll swim in them. Yeah yeah yeah. Everyone knows his pretty eye-smile. I want it to myself. Yeah yeah yeah. Your heart is ice I’ll melt you” and “Do men like White shirt with jeans and most importantly long hair”
Missing U (2017) -ex promised her the world then broke her heart. A recurring theme throughout all 3 girl’s lyrics, hmmmm maybe the ex in Namjoon’s songs isn’t the problem, then?
“You promised me And I foolishly believed. But when you left, you had no guilt. But still I miss you. Miss you baby”
Sweet Talker (2018)- I have a very tiny suspicion this might be about more than one BTS member since Jeonghyeon was involved in the writing process. RM is known for choosing his words carefully, being a smooth talker when it comes to flirting and being a poetic genius.
“You seduced me with your sweet words. You made my heart beat with your clear eyes” and “Your words were as clear as the sky. Your words had no feelings”
The only confirmed relationship I know that Chae was in was with that scumbag tattoo artist that drew those lewd drawings of Chae giving him head and posted it for the world to see and she got so much hate because of it. Thank goodness they’re not together anymore.
This is where I had last stopped in my draft. It says the last edit was December 6, 2020 lmao. So some things I had previously said I may disagree with now but I'm leaving up as I like to see how my thoughts have changed over the years. For example, I now do not think that Chaeyoung or RM ever dated, and that she just had an extreme crush on him. I mean, girl same. Yerin I still believe 100% dated him as she broke formal speech on TELEVISION and called him a pet name. The only reason that wasn't a bigger deal is that both were unknown artists back in 2015. Hwasa, I am on the fence about. I see more reaction videos of Taehyung being the ass man that he is lusting over her than RM. I wouldn't let my buddy thirst over my girl but RM is pretty chill about it. Granted they are in public and being filmed, but even if he did talk to Tae about it, V still did it over and over. Weird, no? So that is why i lean more towards that Hwasa and RM probably didnt officially date, but maybe were just fuck buddies?
Now onto RM’s love life that DID make news:
COUPLES RING
I really wish I had kept a better timeline of him wearing that ring, sigh. The only things I can really find online of him wearing that ring started the whole “namjoon married” ordeal were around September 2020 when that infamous video of him taking it off before going on air surfaced, making it look hella suspicious. I definitely remember him wearing that ring for maybe the entirety of Dynamite promotions? The Dynamite era went from August 25, 2020- December 3, 2021 according to BTS Wiki. This was like peak COVID time and I was an essential worker so I admittedly wasn’t keeping up with BTS that closely and instead was just trying to make it through the day. He was talking about having kids a lot during this time too, and that one live of him showing off the baby shoes did not help his case that he is already married with kids. Namjoon did seem to get in on the joke though by trolling us and posting that photo of him and a little girl with her face covered.
There were also terrible rumors going around during this time that he was gay. Namjoon clearly has a very close guy friend and likes to take pictures with said best friend to preserve memories. To respect his non-famous friend’s privacy, he puts emojis over their face on the photos. Some of the emojis were hearts. Thus the shipping and speculation began. RM eventually stopped posting photos with this friend at all and then deleted all of them.
FIANCEE
June 24, 2022… the day when all Namjoon stans had a heart attack. News broke that he was engaged. So those couple ring photos must be true, we all thought. But alas! HYBE released a statement saying “RM’s marriage rumors are not true. We are currently taking swift action against malicious rumors started on YouTube.” Namjoon himself even posted on his instagram story saying “I don’t know her.” All is well, right? Then Indigo was released… and Namjoon really meant it when he said “I don’t know her.”
It is my belief that Namjoon really was engaged to be married to the person whom he shared couple rings with and who was the lockscreen on his phone. But, based on the lyrics from his songs in the Indigo album, we know that the relationship did not end well. Based on the lyrics in “Closer” and “Change pt. 2”, it seems like she broke his heart by either 1) cheating or 2) putting up emotional barriers and saying she didn’t have feelings for him. I will dissect all songs from the Indigo album in full in a separate masterlist and will link to it here.
According to the Sojang video posted on June 23, 2022, RM’s chaebol “fiancee” was going around bragging about being engaged to the idol. Once word got out about this, they had a huge fight about how she was just using him for his fame and not for his personality. This is where I kind of believe Sojang may have sources that are true. The BTS members have had tons of fake dating rumors and have never felt the need to personally respond and always just let their company handle it. Around this time, Jungkook was being “attacked” by Sojang for fake dating rumors as well and he never responded. But Namjoon decided to go to his personal instagram and type “I don’t know her” which could be viewed in two ways: he really has never met the person Sojang is claiming he was engaged to… or he never really knew the TRUE person who he was engaged to, only the mask they wore. And we all know that Namjoon loves being petty, passive aggressive, and cryptic… even more so when it comes to his exes apparently if his songs are anything to go by. He is straight up hexing his ex at the end of “Change pt. 2”.... The breakup has definitely scarred him. While I think he has been working on healing and that the Indigo album has helped tremendously, I do think that Namjoon is now way more reluctant to love than he once was. He has even said so himself on The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge that he used to see himself getting married (hmmm… I bet you did), but now he is unsure if he ever will. His long letter to ARMY recently on Weverse gives me hope that he will find love again when he is ready, and he admits so himself in that letter that he won’t go searching for it but will let divine timing take place and let the chips fall where they may.
#namjoon#rm#namjoon analysis#namjoon fs#namjoon twin flame#bts twin flames#bts#bts tarot#bts fs#bts namjoon#kim namjoon#bts lyrics#bts theory#rm indigo#bts astrology#bts imagines#bts reactions#bts analysis#namjoon theory#please look at all the attached links#i spent 3 years putting this together
290 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ola Adora! ♡ Welcome back! You've been missed! You left me wandering aimlessly here 😭
I have a question, could you please explain which timeline you use for your energy readings, do you read the past, present or future energy of the seven & spouses?
Also can we please have a current energy check reading on all the BTS Future Spouses please? (:
♡ This reading has an extended version for Ko-fi monthly members [view here]
Update on the fs' energies 27/08/2023
Namjoon’s fs
6 of cups, 8 of cups, 10 of pentacles
Either visiting home for a short amount of time and reconnecting with their roots or in the process of leaving home because of a job. Getting out of their comfort and exploring new possibilities. A lot of deja vu and nostalgia coming through. Working hard to let go of the past and move on to new horizons. Working on becoming consistent with the things that they do and enjoying themselves.
Jin’s fs
The empress, queen of pentacles, knight of swords
Jin’s fs never disappoints, their energy is always 10/10. They are definitely feeling themselves right now, life just seems to be going well! They may be focused on exercising, doing yoga? cooking good food, being the amazing person they are. Manifesting is important for this person, they walk like they own the place because they know that they eventually will. Focused on money and building an empire of some sorts. Doing everything very quickly and having a lot of different ideas.
Suga’s fs
10 of pentacles, 5 of pentacles and temperance
The fs may have recently struggled with money, I feel like this month was a bit tight and hard. But there could be some unexpected money coming in or it already did…inheritance potentially? Or the fs’ family will be gifting them something worth money. Wanting to build an empire of their own. Focused on moving away from financial hardships and focusing on balancing their own energy - finding happiness in the little things and bringing a smile to the face of the people around them. Spending a lot more time with friends than usual even making new friends?!
Hoseok’s fs
9 of cups in reverse, the tower, the star
Suddenly, they don’t feel successful enough? They are re-evaluating their achievements and what makes them feel successful. What am I working so hard for? What keeps them going? A lot of things have happened at once in their life. Feeling a little bit unsettled, everything seemed to go wrong but they realised that this had to happen so that new things could come to their life. Very hopeful energy. Wanting and asking for guidance. They may be looking for signs - this is a sign!
Jimin’s fs
Knight of pentacles, page of pentacles, 6 of wands
Slowly but surely they are getting to a place where they want to be. This person is currently very focused and determined, DO NOT GET IN THEIR WAY! They may be learning a new skill? There is definitely a bit of studying coming through or upskilling within their industry. They may be in the spotlight at the moment due to their hard work, they are getting recognition for their efforts and they are enjoying it! They love getting recognised for something that they have put their heart and soul into. People may ask this person for guidance and to mentor them.
Taehyung’s fs
3 of swords, 2 of cups, the world
Ooooof I feel like V’s fs is very up and down in energy. Within the last year or so they may have had a huge heartbreak that they may still be getting over. There seem to be better days and worse days but they are slowly working on picking up all of the pieces. They are figuring out exactly what it is that they want out of a romantic partner. However, they are also very focused on putting themselves first right now because in the past they have put others before themselves and it ended in resentment feelings growing,
Jungkook’s fs
6 of cups, queen of pentacles, 6 of pentacles
Lots of 6s! This person may be getting signs again - and a lot of them! This person is currently helping their friends and even family. Giving a lot of time and even some money to those around them. There is a lot of joy coming from this person because they are in a position in which they can help! They may have been around flowers lately?! This is also someone who has been working from home - fulfilling a childhood dream.
All the love,
#bts tarot#kpop tarot#bts tarot readings#bts fs#jungkook tarot#jk tarot#yoongi tarot#bts ask#rm tarot#v tarot#hoseok fs#jhope fs#jhope tarot#taehyung fs#jimin fs#jimin tarot#namjoon tarot#namjoon fs#jeon jungkook#bts ot7 tarot
62 notes
·
View notes
Note
What’s Namjoon like as a boyfriend?
What's Namjoon Like As A Boyfriend?💗
8 of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, 9 of Wands, 3 of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, The Death, The Lovers, King of Wands, 4 of Swords.
He would make a lot of effort to spend more time with his girlfriend than just working. He would try to put work aside for a while to spend time with his girlfriend most. He would be very dedicated to the relationship.
They would definitely do creative things together, also Namjoon would probably write songs for/about his person. They would go to artsy places together(I don't know how to say this lol), like art Museums. They would go to the beach together, to restaurants. Also they would have a romantic dinner often. They would go to concerts together, etc.
He cares a lot about his girlfriend, he cares a lot about her and her well-being, her health, etc. If she's feeling comfortable, etc.
He is the type of boyfriend who doesn't just want to exchange kisses and caresses, he also seeks spiritual evolution and growth. He would like to have a soul connection with someone if he could(Soulmates). He wants someone who really understands him.
He would be very generous and kind to his girlfriend, definitely would buy things for her, even if she keeps saying that she's gonna buy it herself, he would do anything to buy it for her himself lol, so cute🩷 He would help her and give her her personal space when she needs it.
(01:01 now)
He's the type who wants to change your life forever, be the best boyfriend you've ever had, an unforgettable memory of yours, he wants to be one of the most important people in your life even if you two break up. A unforgettable person.
He is a very very passionate and romantic boyfriend, who really cares for you and your well-being, who wants only the best for you, who would love you unconditionally.
Lol sugar daddy vibes, he would give you lots of money🤭💸💸
Him and his girlfriend would do romantic things together often, Namjoon would find a way to make even the simplest thing very romantic just to make you happy and feel loved❤️
He would give his girlfriend all the attention of the world, he would have eyes only for her lol.
Extra note: They would cuddle a lot lol, spend time together in bed, sleep together, he would hug you like every time he gets a chance to do it. Also they would listen to music together hugging each other lying in bed*
That's it, hope you enjoyed🫶🏻🩷
Please take it as entertainment only, do not take it too seriously please please, and remember that each reader has their own way of reading and interpreting tarot cards, and that it cannot be 100% accurate.
Thank you so much for your asks💗 I have a lot of asks in my inbox to reply, I'm sorry :c
I will reply to them later..🥰
This reading was so cute by the way🥺💗 Joonnie is such a sweetheart, a littlest little baby🤧❤️ Sweet honey boy❣️
The first time I tried to do this reading, Namjoon didn't wanted to talk, he was a little closed off, but now he seemed better and wanted to talk🫶🏻 We love you Joon💜
I love you all❤️
#kim namjoon#rm#rap monster#bts#bts namjoon#namjoon bts#namjoon tarot#bts tarot#kpop#bangtan#bangtan boys#tarot#bts army#btsarmy#army#bts ot7#김남준#남준#방탄소년단#namjoon fs#namjoon future spouse#bts fs#bts future spouses#namjoon future wife#bts future wives#namjoon#kpop reading#bts tarot readings#kpop tarot reading#tarot readings
47 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey can you do a similar reading for namjoon and his fs like you did for jhope and his fs thank you
Sorry I pass this one too. I sadly don’t know much about these two…
But intuitively I can say that they have that bestfriends, coworkers and artist-lover type of relationship.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
© baby NJ
#ultkpopnetwork#btshoneyhive#yoongi#namjoon#Jungkook#bangtan#bts#📸 fantaken#140316#fs. jongno fansign#e. ggukie day 🐰#babynamjun
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
fail-safe (3)
pairing: yoongi x reader
wordcount: 14k
glimpse: you hear everything you've ever wanted, but you don't know if it's too late.
alternatively, yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.
[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]
[ still angst (but u can breathe now bc it’s the finale), brother’s best friend AND single dad au, jealousy, yearning from all angles, did i say angst alr (mom-wise and brother-wise), fluff, redemption ]
notes: this is it for the chronological series of fail-safe :-) from the bottom of my heart thank you so sooooo much for reading n loving!!! sharing fs with the lot of u is an experience (and era) i'll never forget!!!
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! | series masterlist
Your trip back home isn’t as rough as you expected it to be.
Somehow, there’s a huge difference between coming home alone and coming home with Jungkook. There’s an irreplaceable weight in your chest that still flares even at the mention of Yoongi, the anger you have towards him mixing with the trepidation of holding everything in you, not just him, for another three days. There’s an angry rash around your fingertips just waiting for you to pick on your nails until they’re raw because atleast in that way, you get to forget the way Yoongi’s hand picked up yours in the dark.
There’s an ache in you that not even Yoongi and Hyewon could undo by never having met in the first place. It’s long been there, perhaps even older than Haneul. The ache of unfulfillment in you is bred by everything significant in your life — all from your first argument with your mom because of your lack of direction in life, to your latest heartbreak that keeps manifesting into your first ever.
You're no longer angry recounting the fact that you weren't destined for greatness. Namjoon turned out beyond great, world-renowned even, despite living in the same home that you did. Maybe it's not your environment or your lack of a passion that hindered you — maybe, it's just you alone.
Maybe, some part of you had ached too much from reaching (read: loving) too far up, you're doomed to live the rest of your life unfulfilled. Yoongi's never been yours, but the way your heart withdraws from him is as if he's always been.
You've done your share. You've completed your fill. You've worked yourself to the bone to make anything (not something, and certainly not everything) out of yourself that even if you're not decorated in sports like Namjoon nor celebrated in music like Yoongi, you have a fail-safe to fall back on.
You're earning more than the white collars you could recognize from your old yearbook and even if it's to look after someone, to look after Jungkook and his craft, and neither use your actual degree nor make a name out of yourself — a part of you feels fulfilled.
If being fulfilled meant being in the shadows as a manager; if it meant caring for someone in a professional context yet in a way you've always known with practice, with love, through the years– you'll take it.
You'll take the peace of being fulfilled without a trophy than to be listless trying to compete for first place.
You're fulfilled now to be sitting at the passenger seat of your own car because despite having never been to your place anymore, Jungkook fought with you in order to get his hands on the wheel.
You're fulfilled now, even if you only took Jungkook's silly suggestion (read: insistence) of fake-dating him just so you wouldn't have to face your family and Yoongi alone. You're fulfilled despite having no real place in neither men's lives.
Oddly enough, Jungkook wants to be both. He wants to be fulfilled and compete for first place in a position in your life that he can't even say to your face.
Jungkook holds you right in the middle of the living room, his eyes wide and grin sparkling as if the director had already said action! and the task for him was to act out what being in love looked like, right in front of his female lead's family in her childhood home. (Read: he isn't acting at all.)
“And he’s…?” your mom lets the question hang in the air, eyes trailing from Jungkook’s face, to his bicep, to how his forearm fits snugly against your back and his hand curls around your waist. Your mom visibly looks surprised, although you don’t know if it’s about the fact that you actually came back despite everything, or if it’s because her favorite actor is in her kitchen while she’s sweaty in an apron, or if it’s because said favorite actor leaves no space between the two of you.
“Jeon Jungkook, ma’am. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he greets politely, a little jittery now that he’s face-to-face with her. He’s only heard of the woman she is from you and as much as he tried to picture her from memory, your stories don’t do her much justice. Jungkook’s always loved your kind eyes and your sweet smile, but he knows now where you’ve got it from; in fact, if he turns around right now right after shaking her hand and bowing profusely, you’re showing exactly those to him — that, along with a pair of gazes he can’t place.
Those gazes aren’t kind at all. One is confused and dumbfounded, and the other harbors nothing but hostility and anger.
“Sweetheart, I know you. Who doesn’t?” your mom’s at a loss for breath, mouth still agape as she keeps flickering her eyes between the two of you. She knows that you’re his manager, but what she doesn’t know is why the Jeon Jungkook is in her humble kitchen of all places. He has the most expressive and sincere eyes ever — he can’t possibly mistake your childhood home as a filming set and your waist as a hand rest.
You finally placate her thoughts when you speak, the loaded silence between the three of you (it’s buzzing with tension if you account for the other two) breaking. You actually giggle, your laughter taking the load off her shoulders because you’re happy; you don’t feel an ounce of guilt even if you’re lying to her face.
“We’re dating, mom,” you grin. “Jungkook’s my boyfriend.”
Jungkook smiles automatically, feeling your hand snake towards his own. His palm’s much bigger than yours yet it’s warmer than you’ve ever imagined, the envelope both of your hands make putting you at ease.
Your mom’s gasp bounces across the walls. Namjoon’s head that’s only been lowered the entire time you’ve been back suddenly whips to look at you and Jungkook. The fridge even lowers its hum to make way for the theatrics aimed at you, yet your eyes are fixed on your mom’s and Jungkook’s alone.
You came home for her and with him. You’re not here for anyone nor anything else because it’s merely a play for your survival, only this time, Jungkook’s hellbent on increasing your odds.
Yoongi freezes evidently, hand tightening around Haneul’s bottle as if it would do anything to release the red from his vision. He staggers silently, breathing suddenly ragged as he stares down at the offending steel cylinder. It’s small. Compact. If anything, he figures it would hurt if he were to throw it at anything. Anyone. Someone, even.
“Wow, that’s.. that’s amazing!” she embraces the both of you, making you and Jungkook share a gaze you only laugh through because he actually looks honored.
“Thank you, ma’am. I’m sorry I haven’t had the time to let you know personally,” he apologizes meekly for a mistake that isn’t even one in the first place, the humility in his tone making your ears perk. It’s Jungkook onceagain with the apologies towards you that he shouldn’t be making at all, and yet, even in front of your family, he persists.
Jungkook apologizes even for the things he hasn’t done, not because he plans on doing them, but because a large part of him wants to be in the actual situation wherein those mistakes were merely possibilities.
“It’s no problem at all. You’re busy getting all these awards, I know how that’s like,” she jokes, unable to stop smiling. “I’m just glad someone’s taking care of my baby.”
“And I don’t plan on missing a single day, ma’am.”
“Stop that,” she chides, shaking her head eagerly. “You can call me mom.”
Yoongi lets the bottle clatter to the sink.
( ♡ )
Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep last night.
He’d woken up in a cold sweat hours before his alarm was supposed to go off to cook dinner for everyone, even if it was only yourfavorite. The anxiousness that bubbled in his veins when he was asleep was going to burst and while Yoongi thought nothing of it initially, he realizes in panic that it was actually pointing to something.
He woke up next to Haneul and he was placated momentarily, but the knot tied around his heart tightens twofold when he sees Hyewon on the same bed.
On your bed.
The guilt that filled Yoongi then was enough for the bile to creep up into his throat, making him stagger outside to find Namjoon pacing right outside of his own bedroom. His personal phone’s tucked in between his ear and his shoulder, his hands preoccupied scrolling through whatever it is on his work phone. Yoongi momentarily stops his panic to inquire why the hell Namjoon’s panicking and why did he just see a glimpse of your social media accounts pulled up to the screen, your following list staring your brother in the eyes.
“What? What happened? Is it Y/N?”
Namjoon only looked at him with nothing but pity and guilt, the resentment he had for himself bleeding through the way he shifted his gaze to him.
“She saw you and Hyewon.”
Yoongi hadn’t been able to sleep since.
He didn’t even blink when Hyewon thanked him and said her goodbyes. He wasn’t even fazed when his ex-wife kissed Haneul goodbye and his son only resumed playing with his blocks. Yoongi hadn’t even tended to himself throughout the entire night, surrendering himself to be awake in your couch in the far event that you’d come home.
Yoongi wanted to follow you home, except almost exactly similar to the past, he had chased you out of what’s supposed to be your own home in the first place. The difference now was that he didn’t mean for Hyewon to be on your bed at all, let alone your room, but in the back of Yoongi’s thick skull — he figures that it won’t be enough for you.
Yoongi waits for you all night throughout the morning like a loyal dog waiting for its master, his chest rising up and down in hope yet his chin down in despondence. You do end up coming back home though, but your presence is neither unaccompanied nor for him.
With you is Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend.
If only Haneul hadn’t asked for his bottle to be brought upstairs because he’s watching cartoons on Yoongi’s laptop, he would’ve collapsed on the floor then and there, uncaring of the way everyone else would be looking down on him.
If only Namjoon’s gaze wasn’t flitting to him to gauge his reaction because it’s the first time he’s, or by everyone else rather, hearing that you have a boyfriend, Yoongi would put his hands on his head and curse until his piercing migraine suddenly disappears.
If only your mother wasn’t here, frozen in the kitchen mostly because of what you just revealed and who you came home with, and partly because she’s waiting for him to finish washing Haneul’s bottle, he would’ve thrown up right in the sink.
Yoongi gathers all his pain and keeps it shut within himself until he gets you alone, catching you by the staircase when everyone else has dispersed.
“I’m sorry. Namjoon told me what you saw and-…” he stops himself when you look up at him with an innocent yet empty gaze, the weight of it (or lack thereof) startling him. “Let me explain why Hyewon was there in your bed.”
“I don’t want to listen,” you enunciate clearly, keeping your voice down because both Jungkook and Haneul are a few steps away. You do it for their sake and not for Yoongi’s, the bitterness in your chest physically restricting you to think about his state.
Yoongi pushes on, breath already catching in his throat when you’re still stiff as a stone. You haven’t even made a break for it yet; he only unconsciously held onto you out of fear that you’ll be out of his sight. “She was in the area because her parents are old and they don’t know much about selling their house here a-and well, she knows that I did the same for my parents when they sold ours. Nothing happened. I just helped her with the sale! S-she was playing with Haneul in the living room while I napped a-and, I just… when I woke up, they were right next to me. Y/N, I swear, nothing-…”
You shake your head fervently, the innocence of his reason doing little to break the seal in your stomach. You feel it dropping once again and even if Yoongi’s right, even if he’s saying the truth, the sight alone of him appearing to be a part of a happy family jogs up all the pain.
“I don’t want to listen and you don’t have to explain either.”
“But I hurt you. That’s why I want to explain,” he stutters. Yoongi’s eyes are so glassy, you could see your reflection in them.
“Oh. So you know,” you whisper, teeth harshly digging into your bottom lip. “I hate Hyewon for a lot of things but not for being the mother of your child. That’s out of my reach. I get it. She’s his mom and that’s that,” you admit, the vacancy in your chest and on your ring finger reminding you what Yoongi had never given you the chance for. “What I hate is that you let her sleep in my room. Seeing Haneul in there is good. You and him? That’s okay because I let you sleep in there,” you heave, voice close to breaking because of how you force it to be tamped down. “I hate how you let her sleep in my room, Yoongi. I-I, I fucking hate it because it’s just like that time I caught you practically fucking her in my room.”
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-…” Yoongi sniffles, tears already pouring. The staircase in your house is far too narrow to hold the both of you, let alone your history. “I didn’t think. I didn’t notice, a-and, I didn’t think. I didn’t think at all, Y/N. I thought it was okay for a split second because we looked like-…”
“A family,” you finish for him. “I get it. I do,” you nod your head fervently, your own hand snaking to your lips to stop the sharp inhale that pains you from the inside. “Almost everyone loses their sense of reason when it comes to family.”
“I didn’t notice she already entered the room. But I-I woke up,” Yoongi still swears up and down, adamant on his truth that you aren’t open to entertaining because he’s hurt you far too many times before. “Hyewon and I… we’re not. We’re co-parenting.”
“Still a family.”
“But-…”
“What the hell do you want to hear from me, Yoongi?” you snap, voice finally toning down when you notice faint footsteps coming from the second floor. “Do you— do you want me to agree with you and say that the three of you aren’t a family? And for what, s-so that could somehow excuse you for everything you’ve done? I don’t even know what family’s supposed to mean at this point!”
From upstairs, Namjoon suppresses a sob.
“My mom doesn’t know a single thing about all of this. I-I can’t even cry to her because I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of protecting you, your son that she looks to as a grandson, a-and even your mom who’s her best friend,” you break into tears, ignoring the baby towel that Yoongi keeps on his person all the time that he offers to you. You sound far too defeated, and maybe you actually are, that Yoongi lets you push past him. “Meanwhile, my own brother probably knows everything but his first instinct is to protect you. Not me, his actual sibling. You.”
.
.
.
Namjoon had been waiting for you upstairs. He’s been barricading the door to the bathroom because he knows you can’t go to bed without your nightly shower, and because he knows that out of every space in the house, it must be the only one left wherein you can be truly alone with no hint of Yoongi.
“We have to talk,” he gets out as soon as you make eye contact with him, the towel that’s slung on your shoulder almost falling at the urgency to which he pulls you aside.
“It can wait.”
“I need to apologize,” he pleads once again, gripping your wrist gently like he had always done when you were kids to get you to listen to him.
“And I said it can wait. I can’t stand you right now,” you grit, the tears on your cheeks barely being dried up when Namjoon, unsurprisingly, decides to apologize to you within the same timeframe as Yoongi. They hadn’t planned it at all — the guilt and remorse weighed far too heavy for them to actually communicate.
“Where will you sleep?” he asks instead, exhaling heavily because you’re insistent on not crying again in barely your first night back, again. “Where will Jungkook sleep?”
“We’ll sleep together in a hotel.”
“Hotel?” Namjoon asks loudly, eyes bulging in shock. His voice is far too loud that everyone in the house (and maybe even your neighbors) must have heard him. “That’s nonsense. This is home, Y/N. You don’t have to book a hotel.”
“It is?” you seethe, your closed fists tightening on themselves painfully. “Did you also say the same thing to Hyewon? To Yoongi in the first place?”
“It’s my fault for-…”
You’re unaware that you and Namjoon are neck to neck until your mom chimes in out of nowhere, her gentle eyes asking more questions than she’s actually uttering. “What’s going on?” she switches her gaze between you and him. “Are the two of you fighting?”
“No,” you answer in unison, unable to fit a relieved sigh in between the terse silence.
“It’s nothing, mom,” Namjoon puts a hand on your shoulder, his smile tight and tense. “I was just telling Y/N that she doesn’t have to book a hotel.”
“Why would you book a hotel?” she gasps incredulously, her tone being the exact copy of Namjoon’s just a second ago.
“It’s just crowded in here, mom. That’s all,” you muster a sheepish smile, your posture slouching the more you realize that there’s no way out.
“I can ask Yoongi and Haneul to transfer to Namjoon’s so you can-..”
“No-!” you interrupt her in a hurry, breath hitching at the mention of him. “No, no. That’s unnecessary. I don’t want to sleep in my room.”
There’s a loaded pause between all of you, even between the door that Yoongi has his back on as he listens in.
“You and Jungkook can take my room instead,” Namjoon insists, his offer only barely scratching the surface of the apology that you truly deserve.
“Great. Thanks,” you conclude, already halfway into the bathroom when the sudden thought strikes you, your curiosity (and limit, by extension) getting the best of you to ask Namjoon while your mom’s still here. “How… how much longer are they gonna stay here?”
“I… haven’t asked yet,” Namjoon admits, the animosity you have towards Yoongi not going unnoticed by your mother.
“You need to ask then,” you quip. “This house is too small to have everyone and anyone.”
( ♡ )
Jungkook woke up in peace from sleeping in a bed that isn’t his.
Even before you actually got to shower (and not just sit on the toilet seat whilst trying to compose yourself) since you forgot to retrieve your clothes from your suitcase, Jungkook was already starfished in the middle of Namjoon’s bed. It’s a touching sight atop your own blanket and bug spray that your brother put in for you.
The two of you are far from okay. As a matter of fact, the only people you’re truly okay with in the house is your mom and Haneul; despite knowing that fully, Jungkook still dived in head-first in the middle of your situation. You’ve tried to dissuade him all throughout the five-hour long car ride, and not once did he even budge.
He’s here for you and no one else. He’s snoring in the middle of your sibling’s bed whom you aren’t in good terms with. He’s at ease with you in a province that he’s never stepped foot in, all because he felt compelled to protect you somehow and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Jungkook cares for you, enough to write a note and place it beside him just before he went to sleep, telling you that he’s a messy sleeper and to either jolt him awake to move or just manhandle him to the side so you could also sleep on the bed.
You go for the latter, trying to pry him as gently as you could (but even if you just hauled him like a sack of potatoes, he still wouldn’t wake up because he’s at ease too much; it’s you, of course) before finally calling it a night.
You may have lied awake mulling over the perpetual ache in your chest, but you didn’t cry at all.
Eventually, you fall asleep to the sound of Jungkook snoring.
.
.
.
Jungkook may have slept earlier than you, but he makes sure that you stay in late. (read: he physically tucked you into bed so snugly, you probably can’t even shift your shoulders by a centimeter). He wants to pull his weight around a house he hasn’t even been in, even if you hadn’t asked him to — you’d never do, because even as a manager and not as a fake-girlfriend, you don’t let him lift a single finger. Simply put, Jungkook feels this massive pull, not to perform for you, but serve you.
He finds himself quietly going down the stairs, still in his socks because you had stolen his house slippers just last night and he doesn’t have the heart to ask you to give them back. He’s quickly figured out the kitchen, getting a soup started before he allows himself to sit on the dining table by himself.
It turns out that Jungkook’s not alone at all.
“Hi.”
His ears perk at the soft voice that comes from the side of him, eyes immediately setting on the toddler who’s still dressed in his pajamas and has a similar case of bedhead to him.
“Hey buddy. Nice bangs,” Jungkook chuckles invitingly, pulling out a chair for Haneul to which he gets up on easily by himself.
“My appa cut them for me,” he answers with a smile, shyly pointing to Jungkook’s forehead with an eager finger. “You have bangs too. Who cut yours?”
“My girlfriend. I think she can be a hairstylist one day,” he hums, not feeling guilty over lying to him when it’s only a half, easily-corrected lie. You may not be Jungkook’s actual, real girlfriend, but you did cut his bangs when he asked you to. He couldn’t be bothered going to the salon and you didn’t have the energy to argue with him otherwise, so that’s how he ended up with choppy, viral (it only became viral because he has them) bangs that gained him a few dozen articles or so.
Jungkook doesn’t have kids of his own, but what he does have are several nephews and nieces. He’s the youngest of four children, and that’s perhaps the reason why he could empathize with you. He’s never been through what you have, and although you would never wish for him to do so, a part of him wants to know what it’s like — not because he seeks the pain, but because he wants to know how he could empathize with you better
With Jungkook being Jungkook, it’s perhaps the reason why he’s one of the gifted few people who could strike up a sensible conversation with a toddler and make them laugh without doing anything at all.
Something about Jungkook makes Haneul laugh so loudly, he wakes up almost everyone in the house in peace. Even Jungkook’s attempt at lame jokes tickle Haneul more than the way Namjoon’s ever tried in earnest to make him laugh.
You’ve already slinked past the two of them on the dining table, tending to the soup and the few hundred side dishes Jungkook started on but paused just to talk to Haneul.
“Haneul, don’t believe your uncle-…” you chime over a playful dig that Jungkook makes in your expense, the giggles that had only been filling your ears just seconds ago instantly ceasing when you notice Yoongi standing near you.
“Uncle?” he raises his brow at you, turning his attention to his son. “Haneul, what did I say about talking to strangers?”
“But he’s not a stranger. I saw him in that movie!” he frowns, the immediate awe that slips out of Jungkook’s lips not helping his case in the slightest.
“Still a stranger,” Yoongi smiles tightly, his exhale dragging out as he mulls over the eerily domestic sight of the three of you.
“But he’s Uncle Kook,” Haneul reasons with him, pointing his finger at you. “He’s auntie’s boyfriend.”
.
.
.
Yoongi’s softened a little bit since breakfast.
He was never mad at Haneul in the first place (more like halfhearted because he still stands by his lesson of not teaching him to talk to strangers, even if they’re a worldwide-famous actor, but those are not his words at all) but what he is annoyed about is the scene that he walked into.
It looked far too natural for you to look like Haneul’s mom and for Jungkook to look like him, maybe even better as a dad despite not having children at all, that he thought he was seeing red.
Haneul’s lying on his shoulder as they rewatch Bluey for the second time in the living room, the shadow of your alleged boyfriend walking past him until he registers the accent, later doing a quick turnaround that makes Yoongi ultimately irritated and Haneul more than happy.
“Oh cool. I love Bluey!” Jungkook says sincerely, inviting himself to sit on the lone sofa chair to watch the episode.
“Wow, you’re just so… quirky,” Yoongi mutters under his breath with a roll of his eyes, his snarky remark making Jungkook’s ears tingle. The latter scoffs slyly, making him finally acknowledge Jungkook, albeit sarcastically. “So what do you do, Jungkook?”
Even before he could answer though, Haneul does it for him with an excitement that only comes out whenever he’s talking about his favorites.
“We watched his movies in the cinema, appa! Remember?”
“Did we?” Yoongi narrows his eyes, playing his huff into a cough. He repurposes the tinge of embarrassment that he feels into snark, running a hand through his hair cockily. “I’d for sure remember an actor if they were good.”
( ♡ )
“Where’s your brother? I need him to do the heavy lifting.”
Your mom asks you with an urgency that parents only past the age of forty could possess, her lips already parted awaiting your response towards a question she asked just two seconds ago.
Even if you weren’t engrossed on an episode of Bluey (Jungkook and Haneul put you into it and you get their laser focus now) just now, you still wouldn’t know about your brother’s whereabouts. Yoongi saves you this time, his response piquing both yours and Jungkook’s interest.
“He’s in practice. Joon took Haneul with him so he could learn too.”
Jungkook looks up from his phone sharply, eyes wide in eagerness. He and Yoongi haven’t even looked at each other since yesterday yet their coordination (read: competitiveness) syncs with the other at the exact second, their insistence on tagging along a menial task making you jolt.
“I’ll come with, mom!”
“I’ll come with, auntie.”
It’s not a competition, yet Jungkook jumps up to stand so quickly, his head almost brushed the ceiling. “Let’s go, babe,” he holds out a hand for you, making you clear your throat as you’re still trying to gauge the situation.
“But what about Yoongi? Poor thing, he’ll be left alone,” your mom awes, her pout only deepening when Yoongi pretends to look crestfallen at being overlooked. He doesn’t have to pretend that much because despite not being the biggest fan of grocery-shopping, especially in your area because it always smelled of eggs despite barely carrying any eggs, he’ll jump at any task to impress your mom, and you by extension.
“I don’t think you should worry-…” you start, already being interrupted in an instant.
“Oh come on, Y/N. Two pairs of hands are better than one! They really have to do some heavy lifting because I forget to tell you about that one time your aunts hounded me for-…” she trails off while telling you a story about your supposedly huge extended family, blissfully unaware that there’s two men fighting to open the door for the both of you.
Yoongi’s driving his car as the most spacious option, making Jungkook snicker under his breath as he blames himself for not bringing his SUV which is clearly more expensive than whatever Yoongi’s driving, even if you elbow him lightly by the ribs because you didn’t ask him to do that.
“Mom, what are you doing here? Go sit in the front,” you nudge her, unwilling to sit next to Yoongi in an enclosed space.
“Oh, right! Sorry, I was just used to you always taking shotgun whenever Yoongi’s driving,” she squeals, fondly clapping to herself as she revisits the memory. “Do you remember that, sweetheart? You’d always fight with Namjoon because Yoongi got his license first.”
It may only be your mom who’s leaning against the center console to look at you in the back, but it doesn’t mean that Yoongi’s ever taken off his attention from you.
“I remember,” Yoongi smiles, looking at you from the rearview mirror. “I never forget.”
.
.
.
The grocery store hasn’t changed one bit.
It still smelled of eggs, the lights still aren’t as bright as they should be, and there’s still trinkets that you’ve always been swayed by being displayed near the register.
You’re taking it all in after not having been back for five years, whereas Yoongi strolls right in, but never ahead of you, as if he’s visited multiple times already since he left your town.
Your mom and Jungkook are side by side as he asks her a question you can’t even discern, only getting to know his actual agenda when you hear his sneakers skidding against the floor as he runs towards the pushcarts.
Yoongi, without even knowing the full context, runs after him because he didn’t want to come in second place for whatever it is that Jungkook’s challenging him to.
“I’ll steer the cart,” Jungkook presents definitively, his hand raised mid-air as if he’s being graded for eagerness alone. He looks like he wants to prove himself even if it’s only you and your mom present; no director, no producer in sight who sizes him up.
“No. I’ll do it,” Yoongi argues out of nowhere, his bruised hands reclaiming the cart under Jungkook’s grasp. He’s not even looking at your mom because his gaze is only fixed on Jungkook who’s just two tugs away from actually spitting at him.
“I said it first,” your pretend-boyfriend forcefully pulls the hunk of metal away from Yoongi, the latter coming along with it for the briefest of seconds before he does the same, this time with Jungkook gasping.
“What, are you method-acting for your next role as a cart-steerer?”
Your mom’s a little perplexed at the scene before her, lips parting in both concern and amusement because for a pair of people who haven’t met each other before, Yoongi and Jungkook are oddly competitive. They want to provesomething, anything, and maybe everything so bad, they neglect the fact that they look ridiculous fighting over a pushcart.
“We actually need two,“ she says to no one in particular, thinking out loud as she goes through her grocery list. “I think maybe even three because-…”
“I’ll get it,” Jungkook rushes out in panic, almost bumping into you in the process. You were only gone for a minute to retrieve your phone from the car and yet he already looks breathless, the knot between his eyebrows untangling when he realizes that it’s you. “Oh. Sorry, babe.”
“I’ll get it, Koo,” you murmur, catching the tail end of what your mom said about the pushcarts. Jungkook’s cheeks are tainted pink in frustration and you can’t help but to be concerned, the back of your hand already flitting against his forehead before you know it. “Are you okay? Sorry, the AC in here is not like the AC in the city.”
“Huh, what? Oh no, it’s okay. I just got into this heated cart argument,” he waves you off, eyes rapidly moving between you, your mom, and Yoongi who’s mirroring his exact actions, except for the glaring hint of annoyance with the way he’s standing so close to you.
“Cart argument? What’s-…”
“We need meat.”
You barely even have a chance to digest what Jungkook’s saying to you before you see him glitch right in front of you in a hurry, the only words to register clearly in your mind being your mom’s. She’s absent-mindedly talking herself through her grocery list (as she always does) and yet the two men right next to her hang onto her every word, the speed they take off on giving you no clue to why they’re acting as such.
“I’ll get it, auntie!” Yoongi gets out even before the wheels of his cart could cooperate, momentarily tripping over himself. Jungkook sputters at that, the laughter that builds in his throat being interrupted because he realizes that the other guy is ahead of him and he simply cannot bear that.
“Beef. We need beef, right, mom? How many kilos. Like… ten? Okay. I’ll get it!” Jungkook dashes even if he’s never been in this grocery store before; even if your mom hasn’t said a single word to either of them.
You’re left dumbfounded in the middle of the store, your gaze unable to locate the distinct sounds of both of their sneakers skidding against the floor.
“I didn’t even say anything,” your mom mutters in confusion, eyes flitting to you with a wonder you can’t place because even if the both of you are lost, she seems to have a better idea than you do. “Are they… competing over you, sweetie?”
“Competing? Me? Why would you even say that, mom?” you huff, leaning against the cart as you snatch her list to get the things she’s actually looking for.
“I don’t know,” she lulls, shrugging carelessly before nudging you. “Jungkook’s your boyfriend and well, I assume Yoongi’s always wanted to be in his position.”
“How did you even come to that conclusion?”
“Small town. Few people. Cute girl, cute guy,” she places, the end of her hypothesis being accompanied by a chuckle. When she says it like that, it sounds far too easy — it sounds far too seamless, you almost wish it was exactly that. “I didn’t even take the news that Yoongi was going abroad seriously because I thought it was a joke. I thought he could never move on from here or Namjoon,” your mom pouts, tilting her head when you freeze. “Much more, he could never move on from you.”
“He did,” you answer through gritted teeth, the grip you have on her list making the paper crumple underneath your hold.
Your mom doesn’t know everything. In fact, you don’t even know if she knows anything at all. You don’t despise her for her lack of involvement because you want to keep her from the chaos of your burdens, and you’ve always wanted to keep it that way.
But the way she speaks now, so full of conviction and faith, you find yourself despising it. She speaks as surely as the way Yoongi speeds past the both of you, weaving through aisles to get items she didn’t ask for, competing for and against a higher power (read: you) that Jungkook himself seeks.
She says it so surely, it’s as if she knows about every waking thought that Yoongi’s ever had in your absence.
“It doesn’t look like he did.”
You ponder over your mom’s adoration for Yoongi, most of which you can’t decipher if it’s misplaced or not. You know he’ll always have a special place in her heart and in her home because she’s known him even before he was born because she’s best friends with Mrs. Min.
Yoongi has a place in your life, no matter if it’s in your own or in the lives of the people you love. He probably has a modern penthouse in Namjoon’s life, the decoration in it improving over time. On the other hand, Yoongi probably occupies an ancestral cabin in your mom’s life that’s been well-maintained for longer than he’s ever been alive, the decor in it being handmade and resilient through the years.
In your life, however, you can’t tell how and if Yoongi occupies it in the first place. For the longest time, his place in your life had come in the form of a mansion that not even a single architect nor engineer could ever think of. For a moment too, Yoongi’s place in your heart came in the form of a little house on a vast farm overlooking the mountains and the sea. Throughout all the houses that Yoongi’s shape-shifted to in your life, you doubt now if he could ever turn into them again.
When you think of Yoongi, all you see is your room.
When you see Yoongi, all you could remember is your childhood house and its shortcomings in your life, especially when you needed to come home to it— to him, the most.
“I’ll pay, mom,” Jungkook snaps you out of your reverie, his whine making your ears ring.
“What? No, Jungkook. This is all too much,” you refuse vehemently, trying to fight him from extending his black card any further.
“It’s not. This is for your family anyway. I, I might have even grabbed extra portions for myself because mom said she’ll repeat tomorrow what she did for lunch today,” he grins, momentarily losing himself to the sight of you that he doesn’t even notice he’s in the process of being one-upped by Yoongi.
“Jungkook, baby, I’ll feel-…”
“I paid for it, auntie,” Yoongi announces, making your lips part and Jungkook’s jaw drop.
“You shouldn’t have, Yoongi,” you scold him softly, a whine already building at the back of your throat but he waves you off easily. Your mom’s thanking him profusely in the background, and while Yoongi’s pleased with the attention, his gaze remains on you.
“But I wanted to,” he insists, pursing his lips. “I should.”
“You’re not family,” is what you want to say.
“But I want to be,” is what he wants to scream.
Wordlessly, Yoongi puts a plastic toy ring he bought from the register into your bag. It’s pink and it’s star-shaped, its mold still the same from all those years ago.
.
.
.
You barrel into your mom’s room just to see Namjoon.
You bit at the chance of giving him the stuff he’s asked for from the grocery as per your mom, taking advantage of her focus on organizing the groceries downstairs to have a one-on-one with your brother.
“You have to make Yoongi drive into the city tonight. Either that or he flies to the US. The reunion is already tomorrow,” you seethe, crossing your arms as he sighs in defeat.
“It’s already late. Yoongi’s driving with Haneul, a kid, alone,” he emphasizes, running a hand through his hair as he himself is troubled by you being in a bind over everything. “And he can’t book a flight back on such short notice.”
“Short notice? What, did he just happen to book a one-way flight and not a round trip one?” you snort in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief. The thought actually cracks you up because out of the three of you, Yoongi happened to be the one more adept to websites despite your limited materials back then. Namjoon remains silent, and with how serious he looks, your face falls.
You can’t believe Yoongi at all.
“He did? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Joon,” you groan, throwing your head back. “What, does that mean Yoongi gets to stay in our home while we’re in this godforsaken family reunion?”
Namjoon delivers yet another blow, his revelation making you more enraged than the last.
“Mom invited them.”
“What? Why?!” you exclaim, chest rising in frustration. “Yoongi’s not family, Namjoon. Atleast not for me.”
He doesn’t miss your added remark at the end of your sentence, the underhandedness of it making him look down on the floor.
Namjoon feels guilty, he really does, but he can’t seem to make it right. He couldn’t even fight you in insisting to apologize that night.
For each day that you try to delay the inevitable of confronting him and letting him taking the fall, of letting him apologize, Namjoon feels more like a big failure for an older brother than he already is.
“But he used to be,” he says under his breath, looking up at you with a stubbornness you can’t place. “Your lifetime versus those five years — which one amounts to more?”
( ♡ )
Everyone gushes over Jungkook.
In an altitude higher than the mountainside that you’re in now, the aunts, uncles, and cousins you didn’t even know you have squeal over your fake boyfriend. By the fifth relative, you’ve already got your routine down of letting them hug you and kiss your cheek before holding Jungkook’s bicep, acting as his bodyguard to make sure they don’t squeeze him too hard or not at all.
“Oh my god, Y/N. Jeon Jungkook is your boyfriend?!”
“I knew it, I knew you were gonna have a partner who’s famous! I dreamed about it when you were-…”
“If that’s your boyfriend, then who’s he?” your cousin (?) whispers to you, cutting himself off as he turns his gaze to Yoongi and Haneul. They’re most certainly not your family, meaning that they’re unrelated to everyone present, so what your relatives (some more nosy than others) can’t wrap their heads around is the fact that there are strangers in your family reunion.
It takes one, two times for your mom and Namjoon to explain who they are and what they’re doing here in the first place, the chorus of nods eventually signaling that they’ve moved on. Some of them could even recall Mr. and Mrs. Min from the neighborhood, and Yoongi could only nod.
It’s not that he doesn’t belong right now — he actually feels the opposite. Yoongi feels that he has a place amongst a barrage of relatives he’s not affiliated to by neither blood nor paper, and it pains him; not because he’s scared of belonging, but because you probably don’t think the same way.
Haneul runs to him underneath the umbrella he’s isolated himself at, his son grasping an assortment of cash, food, and juiceboxes Yoongi most certainly did not pack in Haneul’s backpack from the night before.
“Auntie’s family is really nice, appa. Look what they gave me,” he shows everything that his hands could carry, breathing heavily in excitement as he explains that your relatives told him to come back once his hands are empty.
“Oh dear. They really think you’re adorable,” he laughs, pocketing Haneul’s cash (he swears he’ll give it back) and hiding some of the snacks he’s been given so he wouldn’t give himself heartburn eating too many at once.
Yoongi’s smiling from ear to ear, sitting Haneul in his lap as he overlooks the view of your town from above. Everything looks so small and delicate, you’d almost think none of what laid downhill ever even mattered. He didn’t get views like these in New York.
Yoongi didn’t get people like you in New York.
“Mama’s family isn’t this nice,” Haneul speaks out of nowhere, his thoughts uttered out loud directed more-on to himself than it is for his dad. Yoongi stops in his tracks in trepidation, shoulders tensing over what his son just said. “They never play with me like this. Not like auntie.”
He knows Hyewon’s relatives, albeit not that well. Her family members in the US were not this kind, not this warm, even to a child who’s actually related to them.
Yoongi’s stuck in his thoughts the whole time Haneul sips on his juice, finally being snapped into his reality nowwhen you approach their direction. His son waves at you excitedly even if you’ve just crossed paths minutes ago.
“Here, Haneul,” you hold out a container to him, the gentle smile on your face limited to only him yet Yoongi, for a lack of grace, pretends it’s also for him. “I tried my best to make it look like Bluey,” you chuckle, pointing to the mini sculpture made out of the marshmallows and blueberries that your relatives set aside for him.
Haneul beams at you, thanking you profusely. If only he wasn’t sat on Yoongi’s lap and therefore grounded, he would’ve launched himself at you to hug your legs.
Yoongi takes the hat right off his head, putting it on you while you’re crouched next to his son.
“It’s hot,” he explains, his heart continuously speaking beats the longer that you linger beside Haneul and the longer that he giggles in excitement. “I know you get headaches easily.”
( ♡ )
Despite being reachable, Yoongi still yearns for you.
He yearns for you even if you’re only within arm’s reach, sitting near you but never close enough at the long table because with you, he feels safe. He laughs in the background like it’s a sitcom to every joke and every episode of banter thrown around him. He doesn’t feel out of place with your family — he feels out of place with you.
He’s never been a wickedly jealous type. Even when he and Hyewon were still together and she cheated on him, Yoongi felt more resentful than he was jealous. He didn’t feel this type of way; he didn’t feel inferior. He didn’t feel like he was nursing a loss in his life because he has no choice but to. Yoongi had managed to divorce Hyewon because it didn’t work out between them, and that was that.
Yoongi can neither divorce you nor pull away from you because you’ve never been with each other. He harbors no resentment for you and that scares him, not because he wants to hate you so badly, but because he feels as if everything you’ll do to him, he’ll take it.
Yoongi will take it even if you set a plate for Jungkook despite unconsciously forgetting what he’s always disliked eating when you were still kids. He’ll take the serving tray from your hands still, uncaring if eating the tiniest bite of the food you’ve passed gives him an allergic reaction because you were the one who offered.
He’ll take it even if you hold Jungkook’s bicep in a hurry when there’s a bug that’s getting awfully close to your drink. Yoongi would walk to where you sit and dispose of it wordlessly because even Jungkook himself is scared of bugs. He doesn’t mind if you don’t thank him, because atleast now when he looks at you from a distance, you’re sitting in relaxation and you no longer have to hold your boyfriend.
He’ll endure the jealousy that burns through his throat more than the poorly-made, highly-alcoholic vodka your uncle made himself. He’ll hold onto the poison that is yearning and how he’ll feel like his throat would close up because if you were still young, in this setting of free rein, except you were still in love him like you used to be and he’s in love with you like he is now, neither you and Yoongi would be hurting.
Yoongi will take it. He’ll take the nothing that you give him and give you the everything that you don’t ask for anymore.
Five years versus the rest of your lifetime that you spent being in love with him is only miniscule. The suffering that he’s going through now is only a speck of the years you’ve spent in an unrequited love.
Unlike you, Yoongi’s weak. If he were to say it outloud to you, you’ll never agree because you’ve never regarded yourself otherwise. You’ll go on this tangent that you’ve always been weak, influenced by the times that Yoongi had chastised you for your lack of a passion.
To you, Yoongi had been right in a way.
To Yoongi, he’s always been in the wrong.
He’s crying to you now that the both of you are alone, overlooking the small town he used to be keen on getting out of. Now, more than ever, Yoongi wants to stay in it. He wants to stay with you.
“Why is everything with you so hard?” Yoongi whispers, his tears stinging badly from the corner of his eyes to the point that he can only make out shapes. He’s unkempt and frantic as if his life flashed before his eyes and there’s nothing he could do about it, voice strained like much of the times he’s drank himself to sleep.
He resembles Haneul at the moment. He’s always had because there’s not one bit of Hyewon in his son’s features or personality, but he looks especially like him now that he’s crying. The back of his hands harshly dig into his face, sobs bursting right from his throat. “Why do I make everything so hard for us? Why can’t I— w-why can’t I make it right for once?”
There’s a tremble to your chest that you ignore earnestly, the presence of it enough to scare you because it’s familiar; too familiar. Seeing your past play out in front of you in the form of a seemingly content family sleeping on your bed is one thing, but it’s another to see its patriarch crumble in front of you. It’s different to see your past pleading in front of you for just the slightest bit of your attention.
As a matter of fact, it’s different now because you resemble Yoongi the most.
“You never tried,” you seethe, jumping the gun before you even try to decipher what’s in the barrel. It’s a bullet you fire haphazardly that comes from your pocket that you’ve always held onto. It’s a misplaced, misshapen, old bullet that you force into a gun that Yoongi passed onto you.
Right now, Yoongi doesn’t resemble Haneul, and neither does he resemble his ex-wife.
He resembles you with the way his eyes are clearly swimming in hurt while you avoid looking at his, just to relieve the painstaking feeling of guilt and longing compacted into a sob.
“I never tried?” Yoongi exhales shakily, his quivering hands running through his hair to tug on them.“I never tried?”
You hear yourself clearly even if it’s his voice. The tremble and the anger, even all the way to the blind hope.
“I kept trying to reach out to you every single time. Every single birthday, every single Christmas, every insignificant holiday I could search up!” Yoongi cries — he actually thrashes with the way he sobs, shoulders shaking violently. “I didn’t try? If I didn’t try, try looking at every page of my passport to see all the stamps there are whenever fucking Jungkook was reported to be in another country,” he spits his name like poison, the vitriol behind it, however, never catching up to what he feels about himself.
You resemble Yoongi the most because you stand untethered, eyes blurring and lips quivering, yet you only watch him lose himself before thinking of uttering a single word.
“I’m selfish, I’m an asshole, and I’m fucking insufferable. I can’t even apologize to you correctly,” Yoongi lists, chest rising up and down too heavily, he feels like it’ll give out. “But I love you, Y/N. I-I might be every bad thing in your life right now and I own up to that. I’m still trying to be the best for you.”
Not only does Yoongi resemble you — he’s actually become you.
“You can call me the vilest names ever but you can’t say that,” he grits, teeth chattering not from the cold he’s put himself in, but because he can’t stop mentioning your name in between. “You can’t say I never tried because I always have. I’ll never stop becausethat’s what it takes,” Yoongi mutters; because, he says, not if.
“I love you,” he says it far too clearly for someone who’s drunk; far too sincerely for someone who had spent the better part of his life putting it through your head that he can’t return your affection. “I’ve always loved you.”
( ♡ )
You don’t feel good.
There’s a fever that’s starting to bloom from the base of your skull all the way to your toes, the abnormal warmth you feel in your chest making you unable to interact with everyone else outside of your room. Jungkook had left with your uncles before dawn to go fishing in the nearby lake and never would you think to inconvenience him; to tend to someone like you for something as minor as a fever, or for anything at all.
You already have a system down for taking care of yourself when you’re ill. It started when neither your mom nor your brother were home with you, and it was finally perfected when you had to live completely alone in the big city. All you had to do was gather all the energy you have, spend it at the start to get everything you could possibly need and put them all at the side of your bed, and rest until everything no longer hurts.
The major flaw with your system now is that you don’t have the energy at all. You can’t build up the strength to get up, walk across the hall and interact with your relatives, and rummage through groceries to get what you need without being questioned; you can’t build up the sense of importance you have for yourself to ask for help.
Namjoon comes into your room before you could dance around the idea of asking him to get you water, all because he has this innate sense of guilt in him and you could utilize it to your advantage. Your brother gets ahead of you before you could even register that he’s here with you, his eyes sullen and pleading.
“Can we talk?”
“I can’t exactly storm off right now,” you rasp, your voice fading out into a low chuckle.
“Do you want to talk when you’re able to storm off?” he asks sincerely with a small smile, his hand fixing your hair as gently as he could without making your migraine ring further. “If you do though, then you probably might never hear me out again.”
You stay silent because he is right, but Namjoon feels otherwise. He feels as if he hasn’t been doing anything right at all and you existing separate from him is a constant reminder. His career is at its peak but he thinks he could go higher; his relationship with you is deteriorating and he doesn’t think it could possibly be worse.
“I’m sorry for being a shitty brother,” he apologizes, the first thing out of his mouth being the last thing that floods his mind before he goes to sleep at night. “I should’ve never defended Yoongi, even Hyewon by extension.”
The heat behind your eyes isn’t all from your fever. The tears that prick your eyes aren’t because of the pressure in your head, but because of the fact that you haven’t heard Namjoon apologize to you in a long time; you haven’t talked this sincerely for even longer
“I should’ve put you first,” he sniffles, muttering apologies in between his pauses for finding the right words that would make it okay; that would somehow undo all that he’s been an accomplice to. “I should’ve been this reliable, sturdy man of the house. I-I should’ve been more of a father figure to you-…”
“Don’t,” you interject sternly. “You never filled in his shoes and you should never will. You’re only mom’s son and my brother, Namjoon. It’s never been your job to raise me.”
Even after everything, there’s a gentleness to you that Namjoon’s always loved but hate the most now. He hates that even if he’s the one who’s apologizing, you’re the one who’s saying sorry for the things you didn’t even inflict on him. Neither of you wanted to be raised by only a single parent, yet you absolve him of the guilt he’s always felt.
“But I could’ve been better. I wish I was already better from the start.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think how hard life was for you growing up. I-I would’ve given up football if only-…” he trembles, unable to get the last of his sentence out because you shake your head in earnest.
“Stop.”
“But I mean it. If only I-I didn’t get into football, I could’ve been there for you and mom much often. I could’ve been better and-...”
“But I grew up to be okay, didn’t I? You’re the best at what you do. We’ve managed to retire mom early because we put in the work,” you whisper, the shrug of your shoulders feeling more heavy that it should feel because the words don’t come out easily from you.
“But okay shouldn’t have been enough for you,” Namjoon tears up, bottom lip trembling as you try to take in his words that you’ve always wanted to hear at the back of your mind; you hear them now when you’ve already grown up. You hear them now after you’ve already endured the grief. “I— we should’ve given you the fighting chance to grow up more than okay.”
.
.
.
It’s not Jungkook who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because you’ve temporarily banned him from the bedroom. He only pouted in complaint when you called him, but he didn’t fight you that much either because you’ve called him out for the excitement in his voice to go hiking for the first time.
It’s not Yoongi who comes to visit you while you’re nursing a fever, because Haneul asked him to teach him Go (he’s not even that good at it and being the ever unable to show incompetence and have pride especially when Jungkook’s watching father, he discreetly asked lessons from your mom) so he’ll be able to play with your cousins.
Instead, it’s your mom who visits you. Even if Namjoon hadn’t tipped her off that you were feeling under the weather, she’s already had a feeling this morning.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asks, her hands full of everything you could possibly need and more before plopping them at your side. She makes you sit up even before you could complain, handing you a drink with some medicine you didn’t even know she carried
“Just a little fever,” you answer, getting back into your cocoon.
You don’t even attempt to make conversation because you fear that you don’t have it in you to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom just minutes after you’ve had one with Namjoon.
You don’t even say anything to her except your thanks. Namjoon didn’t even tell her about your conversation, even if he approached her with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes while saying that it was just allergies.
Your mom feels the guilt spring to her chest even if you don’t utter a single word. She feels the remorse in her eyes when you don’t ask her for anything more. She feels the guilt the most in her hands when you don’t ask her to stay.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like there wasn’t enough space for your burdens growing up.”
“What?”you scramble to get up in a seated position, eyes hazy from how quick you do it. “Mom, you scared me. Where’s this coming from?”
She shakes her head at your cluelessness, eyes stinging when you genuinely look at her innocently. You don’t know what she’s talking about, even if the thought has plagued her for so long.
“You’re not really okay, are you?”
“It’s… just a fever,” you mumble, your breathing already trembling at the way she looks at you.
She’s looking at you like you’re still a kid; ever so fragile and innocent, it’s as if she wouldn’t let a single thing in this world harm you. She doesn’t know a single thing about your feud with Namjoon and your long drawn-out conflict with Yoongi. What your mom does know is that she doesn’t know a single thing about the heartbreak you suppress, and that thought alone makes her hiccup in tears.
“You’re right, you know? Our house is small,” she says, distinctly recalling the tensioned conversation you had with Namjoon back at home. “It’s tiny but it was far too big for you growing up alone,” she inhales sharply, trying not to sob in front of you. “He wasn’t in the picture. I was working a hundred jobs left and right. Namjoon was trying to make a name for himself,” she shakes her head, so much so that the necklace she’s had since you were children, the same one with yours and Namjoon’s birthstones on it, rattles. “I’m sorry for making you feel that you can’t come to me.”
In just a full day, you’ve heard everything that you’ve ever wanted. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted during the school plays where you had no one from your family, except Yoongi, to watch you become an extra up on stage. He’d always deny that he did show up for you and just say that it’s because he was genuinely interested in a play about a poet he didn’t care about in reality, but you take it nonetheless.
It’s everything you’ve ever prayed for watching Yoongi live a life far too advanced for you as he held Hyewon’s hand after school. It’s what you wanted to hear when you begged him not to leave you behind.
“I-I’m okay. I’m really-…” you stutter, looking away before your tears fall in the fear that they’ll never stop.
Your mom only hugs you tighter.
“I’m here if you want someone else to carry your burdens,” she whispers. “I’m here now.”
( ♡ )
It’s the last day of the reunion when you fully recover, and it’s hours ahead of everyone when Jungkook has to leave by himself.
Without even asking for it, Jungkook grants you another week’s worth of break. You didn’t even plan on asking, yet Jungkook’s willing to give you a month if only you do.
You’ve already arranged for his personal driver to pick him up and take him back to the city. You’ve already packed his bags, along with the multiple containers of food that your relatives (and especially your mom) insisted for him to take. You’ve arranged for your substitute to take care of him for his schedules throughout the week, along with the insistent reminder to call you whenever Jungkook needs you. (Read: he does, with or without a schedule.)
Everything is set for Jungkook to leave except for his driver who’d been roped by your mom to be filled with breakfast first, yet with the remaining minutes left, Jungkook’s still with you on your bed.
He lies on your lap even if there’s plenty of space for him to lie parallel to you on a pillow — and you let him.
“Have you ever thought about kissing me?” he asks in the middle of you texting your substitute, the randomness of his thought already being familiar to you. This time, unlike the few thousand times he’s ever asked you something straight off his mind without refining them, is different.
It’s different now because your pretend-boyfriend asks you if you’ve ever thought about kissing him, while looking like he really wants to kiss you.
“Where’d that come from?” you giggle, looking down on him on your lap.
Not once does Jungkook ever look away from you.
“Dunno,” he shrugs, pointing up at you. “Your lips are close to bleeding and it’s bothering me.”
“Sorry for turning you off,” you snort in laughter, wiping at the tiny specks of blood. Jungkook tuts when you rub at them, feeling for his lip balm out of his pocket.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he stresses, going a little cross-eyes when he applies them for you. His eyes keep goading you, the smile he has on his face widening the more that you look at him incredulously. “Sooo… have you?”
You don’t want to lie to him at all.
“If I answer yes, Jungkook,” you toy around with his hair, setting your phone face-down because you can’t focus on anything else now. “We can never come back from that.”
Jungkook laughs in glee so loudly, Yoongi (who was only passing by; he really, really swears he didn’t just happen to eavesdrop in your room because Jungkook’s driver is all done eating and wants to beat traffic) actually flinches.
Jungkook strains to be closer to you, unconsciously training you to lean down. His lips are far too soft — far too close to you, you could see every line and every nuance in them. He whispers, eyes practically crossing at your proximity.
“And is that such a bad thing?”
( ♡ )
You’re back at home when Jungkook texts you that he’s made it back safe, and that he wants to kiss you again.
You’re back at home when Yoongi asks you if he could use the bathroom first because Haneul spilled milk on him during the drive. You’re in your childhood bedroom when you let him clean up first, and you’re sitting on your childhood bed when you volunteer to put Haneul down because he’s cranky and for some reason, wants to be held by you.
You’re back at home too when Yoongi and Haneul are knocked out for the night, and your mom calls you and Namjoon down for all three of you to talk at the dining table.
You’re back at the home you were raised in, sitting on the dining table that’s creaky when more than two people lean their weight into it, in the space you’ve roamed around alone waiting for them to come home, when your mom talks about wanting to sell it.
“You want to sell?” Namjoon’s eyes widen, exchanging a glance with you who’s as equally surprised as he is.
“Yes. It’s under my name, y’know? Not that… man’s,” she snorts, the off-hand mention of your father making you and Namjoon laugh unexpectedly. Your mom looks at ease as she talks about selling your house, the smile she has one her face being shaped with experience and grace. “I doubt the both of you would want to keep this, and besides, the offers I’ve kept for years now are high. You already know that big-shot companies have been buying out houses here for years now because of the growth potential and whatnot. Who knows, maybe our block will be turned into a mall!” she shrugs, the happiness in her tone infectious.
For someone who’s decided on letting go the house she’s both struggled and strived in, your mom’s beyond excited.
For two adults, who were once kids, who’ve seen the amount of sacrifices your mother’s put into the place by herself, you and Namjoon don’t have any objections.
“Also, consider this as me asking for permission to go on a vacation, even if I’m grown, because some people get so paranoid when I don’t answer calls,” she digs at you and your brother, immediately inciting coughs because you two, in fact, are guilty of worrying over your mom too much. “I’m going on this worldwide trip with Yoongi’s mom,” she grins, pulling out one last surprise. “We’ve talked about it since we were young. She’s earned her stripes working abroad, I managed to raise two amazing children as a single mom. We’ve earned it, I think.”
You and Namjoon share a glance once again, this time more definite than the last. You’ve made up already as far as your mom could tell, and that confirmation is what she needs before finally selling the house you all grew up in.
“You’ve earned it more than anyone.”
( ♡ )
Yoongi’s packing up for their flight tonight when you go into your room to pack up the life you’ve lived there.
“You’re coming with me and Haneul?” Yoongi jokes when he sees you pulling out your own luggage, the tone of his voice highly suggesting for you to become serious. He gets you to smile and that’s big enough of a win as is, the remainder of it more than substantial to hold onto when he’s away from you. Again.
“No, unfortunately. I’m packing up the room and eventually… the whole house,” you answer with a chuckle, voice trailing off when you see the crestfallen look on Yoongi’s face. He looks like someone who’s just absorbed the largest pain to man as he’s trying not to make it obvious. “We’re posting it for sale two weeks from now.”
Yoongi nods tightly, inhaling sharply as he tries to maintain his steady tone. “Then why are you packing up already?”
You could do this tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you could do it tonight because you don’t have to drive them to the airport. You have all the time in the world within two weeks to do this, yet you go into your room now when Yoongi’s still in it.
When Yoongi still hasn’t left, and neither of you know when you’re gonna see each other next.
“I have to get a move on. If I don’t move now,” you trail, voice close to trembling as you open cabinets you’ve never even given the time of day before. “I’m scared that I’ll keep holding onto this house.
Yoongi nods, even if he fully understands — even if he doesn’t want to swallow what you’re saying.
“You want out?”
“We want out — me, mom, Namjoon,” you explain, looking at him properly for the first time since he told you that he loved you. “For the longest time, we’ve held onto this place because we became this house at one point. Namjoon’s this world star, my mom’s traveling the world with your mom-…”
“Oh, they’re finally doing it?” Yoongi interrupts, a smile finally coming to his face at the news. He hasn’t talked to his mom in a month from how busy he’s been, and although he’s always missed her (even if they’re on much better terms than he and his dad could be), he’s happy knowing that your moms have each other atleast. “How about you? What will you be doing?”
“I’ll just be… living day-to-day. I’m not doing anything extremely special, but I’m happy and busy doing it,” you laugh, looking around your room that hasn’t appeared this clean, this warm, since you last stayed in it. “No one’s going to be around here anymore.”
As if on cue, Haneul runs to Yoongi’s arms to be picked up. He knows what the luggages mean and because he’s largely in denial that they have to leave later (as referenced by him crying to your mom and Namjoon), Haneul keeps pretending to sleep so that their trip gets delayed.
Yoongi’s about to put him on your bed even if he knows his son’s antics already, but in the fear that he’ll actually get to sleep and they don’t get to leave (which he isn’t opposed to at all), he keeps him in his arms.
You, on the other hand, take Haneul from him when his arms outstretch for you.
There’s the sentiment of you not having to do it that’s resting at the tip of Yoongi’s tongue but he holds himself back, the image of you and Haneul completely fitting one another, he wants to burn a copy of it to his retinas and designate it to be the last thing he’ll see if he ever goes blind.
Without putting Haneul to sleep on your bed, he goes to sleep in peace in your arms.
“Do you regret it?” Yoongi asks throughout the silence between you, sitting next to you at the edge of your bed. “Do you regret ever liking me?”
“I do,” you answer truthfully, rubbing circles at the Haneul’s back. “I regret knowing you.”
Yoongi takes the responsibility fully, even fuller than the way both your hurt and happiness could make or break him.
“I can’t take back all the hurt I’ve caused you,” he admits just as honestly, turning to look at you. He becomes surprised to learn that you’ve been looking at him the whole time. “But what I can promise you is that I’ll never do anything to hurt you again.”
“I have my share of faults too.”
“Eh. Mostly mine.”
“Mostly yours, yeah,” you laugh easily, nodding to yourself as you continue. “But I held onto you as much as you didn’t hold onto me. That’s my mistake.”
Yoongi stays silent at that, not because he agrees, but because the bias that you’ll never be wrong in his eyes overtakes your humbleness.
“Do you think he’ll remember the entirety of the trip?” you ask, gesturing to Haneul who’s already sleeping like a hibernating bear in your hold. “Or will Haneul just remember that time the power went out because he cried a lot?”
“Oh, he’ll remember everything alright. He’s good with retention and people in general,” Yoongi waves you off. “Even if he didn’t come along the trip— even if we didn’t crash the whole thing, Haneul would remember you.”
“Who am I to him?” you ask in curiosity, lips turning into a straight line before they curve in the slightest. “Appa’s friend, I bet.”
“Not really. You’re a lot of things to me,” Yoongi chuckles, looking at the way Haneul grips you as if you’ll float away if he lets go; he’d do the same too. “More like my first love.”
Yoongi loves you quietly.
He loves you quietly with the way he draws the curtains downstairs when you sleep on the couch, tired and stressed over a solution you couldn’t understand. He loves you with the way he’ll scoop the warmest, freshest, least-burnt portion of rice to your bowl without you even asking for it. He loves you with the way he’s willing to let you walk all over him.
He loves you quietly in the way that not even distance nor time could disrupt him.
Yoongi loves you quietly, it might have been too much.
“Is that a lottery ticket?” he asks suddenly as he spots the familiar face of it inside your luggage, tucked into the discreet pocket where your mother’s letters of encouragement when you went to the big city were also kept
“Oh, it’s still there,” you answer, in surprise yourself because even if this is the same luggage you use whenever you go out of the country with Jungkook, you’ve never noticed that it was still there. “I bought it when you left for the US.”
Yoongi stops in his tracks in retrieving the scratch ticket from the pocket, looking up at you in curiosity. “Why did you buy one that day?”
Haneul stirs in his sleep in your arms, waking up right at the middle of you and Yoongi being lost in each other. He mistakes the silence as a signal that they’ll be leaving already, making a mess of himself as he quickly goes down the stairs to look for your family there and cling to them instead.
You and Yoongi are alone again.
“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, grasping the scratch ticket you used to spend hours looking. “I guess I just needed some proof that fate was against me that day.”
“But how would you even know that?” Yoongi asks, pointing to the card that’s still covered. “You didn’t even scratch it.”
You answer honestly, the reason burnt to the back of his mind.
“Because I knew I would lose my mind if I actually lost.”
“Try,” Yoongi swallows, nudging the ticket closer to you with a gaze that mirrored yours when he left. “Try again. Please.”
You have nothing else to lose.
Yoongi isn’t yours to lose.
You retrieve the same old coin Yoongi gave to you on the same day that he bought you your first scratch ticket, the appearance of it from your luggage making his heart skip a beat.
He doesn’t speak and neither do you, gaze only fixed on the way you scratch the card almost hesitantly, as if you’re still scared of the results of something that you should’ve known five years ago. (Read: you still are.)
When you get to the last digit, you freeze. You comb through the pattern over and over again, yet you still can’t believe it.
You’ve won the highest possible prize.
“Oh.”
“Oh,” you parrot Yoongi, looking up at him as he can’t believe it either.
“You won.”
“I won,” you repeat, running a hand through your hair. You actually laugh, the lump in your throat subsiding. It’s a welcome, albeit loaded, feeling of happiness that comes in between the two of you. “I thought I would lose,” you mutter bitterly, shaking your head.
You didn’t lose. Fate wasn’t against you that day, and yet you still lost yourself thinking subconsciously what the proof of it would’ve been.
“Who would’ve thought, right?” you sigh, eyes drifting to Yoongi. “If only I took that chance years ago, I would’ve won.”
Yoongi smiles tightly, breath faltering in recollection.
“I’m familiar with the feeling,”
Yoongi doesn’t get to finish packing for him and Haneul and neither do you with your whole room, the shift in the atmosphere suddenly making him stand.
He’s breathless and he doesn’t know what for, the rapid beating of his chest making his voice louder than necessary. “Hey, what do you say you take a break? I’ll pack up your room. I have to stay alert anyway for Haneul."
You thank him before leaving him alone in your room.
Yoongi can’t find the strength in him to pack. The only power he has left in him is for him to think of taking everything out from his luggages, the thought of leaving again, this time worlds different than the last when you were begging him not to — he feels like throwing up.
Yoongi’s merely an amalgamation of you. He’s only a compilation of your every word, every feeling you’ve implanted in his heart. He’s filled with nothing but your every triumph and shortcoming; every late night hanging out with you as you attempt to study while he keeps you company, every minute he spent going out of his mind trying to look for you when you ran away from home.
Yoongi loves you silently to the point that he gets out of your room without accomplishing a single thing he said he’ll do just awhile ago.
In the grand scheme of things, Yoongi realizes that he was wrong. He was as wrong as you were right that the moment he leaves home, he’ll spend the rest of his life looking for it.
Even if you left your home like he did, even if neither of you could come home anymore the moment your childhood house gets sold, Yoongi would still search for it. He’ll still search for you. You’re no longer where you were, but you are everywhere that Yoongi is.
He looks for you in Namjoon’s room, to the dining table, and all the way outside, just to ask if he and Haneul could stay for dinner.
Yoongi finds you and Haneul eating sundaes on the pavement outside, with you on the ground and a scrap cardboard underneath Haneul so it wouldn’t be hot for him.
Fate hadn’t been against you five years ago. And even if he’s much too late, Yoongi could only pray that fate isn’t against him now.
He walks over to where you and Haneul are, grabbing another scrap of cardboard to put underneath you.
Yoongi is consumingly yours all the time.
#WHEWWWWWW HOW R WE FEELING!!!!#yoongi imagine#yoongi oneshot#yoongi series#yoongi angst#yoongi angst imagine#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi au#min yoongi imagine#min yoongi scenario#yoongi fanfic#yoongi x you#bts yoongi imagine#bts yoongi x reader
494 notes
·
View notes
Text
DIRTY TALK - BTS HEADCANNONS
horny bts
pairing: bts x fem!reader
rating: 18+ minors dni
a/n: this is my first time writingggg anything so be nice
jin
jin is definitely a bit whiny & needy 😩
- “can i just put the tip in?”
- “fuck baby, you’re doing so good”
- “don’t stop… please”
- “come closer”
- “i’ll be quick, i promise”
- “let me make you feel better baby”
yoongi
loves to dominate a little fs
- “spread your legs”
- “shut up, the boys can hear you”
- “gag on it”
- “do i make you feel good baby?
- “swallow”
- “mhm keep going”
hoseok
blushing so hard rn for daddy hope
- “cum on my face”
- “look at how wet you are for me”
- “don’t try to run, take it”
- “get on your knees”
- “open wide”
- “daddy’s so proud of you baby”
namjoon
horny & inexperienced joon
- “holy shit jagi”
- “fuck, i’m going to cum too soon”
- “your mouth feels so good”
- “show me how you like it”
- “Like this? baby?”
- “you are so sexy”
jimin
he’s more playful than the others i feel
- “can i fuck your tits?”
- “look at this pretty pussy”
- “mmh all for me”
- “ride me, baby”
- “can i cum in you?”
- “fuc- shit i’m cumming”
taehyung
slutty tae>>>
- “beg for it”
- “mmh go faster”
- “this pussy is mine”
- “so fucking tight…”
- “take it off”
- “bend over and arch your back for daddy”
jungkook
horny jk can do no wrong
- “not too loud”
- “mmh i love seeing your tits bounce in my face”
- “lay back, i want to make you feel good”
- “keep moaning, i want to hear you”
- “what do you want baby?”
- “let me rub that pretty pussy for you”
#bts#kpop imagines#kpop reactions#bts reactions#kpop scenarios#bts imagines#bts headcanons#bts scenarios#seokjin#namjoon#yoongi#hoseok#jimin#taehyung#jungkook#bts fluff#bts smut
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
dear lady wisteria,
How will each member of BTS react to JK’s fs?
namjoon: immediately comfortable with her. their level of intelligence and self-awareness match very well.
jin: feels a little threatened by her RBF and her position once she is fully embraced into the group, jokingly of course. they will get along well for their mutual love of cooking, maturity, and food.
yoongi: very careful around her but admires how she exudes a "coolness" aura around her without showing it off on purpose, he doesn't know how.
hoseok: hes in between. he feels like she can be a little too cold at times when they first met but he could see that there's sort of a desire within her to open up and be freely playful.
jimin: could immediately see why she's so well-liked by jungkook. its as if she is the cool boyfriend in the relationship but could see through her on how she has a soft spot for him.
taehyung: the most cautious, resting bitch face competition but it stumbles (kind of giving that one try not to stare challenge with the eternals cast and angelina jolie). it will take him much more time than the others to get a thorough "read" of her but can't help but love how she carries herself, classy and timeless.
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m almost finished with the RM love life analysis! It’s currently at 8 pages long 😅 I’m taking a break because I’ve spent the last 2 hours updating it as a lot of it needed work since I haven’t touched it in 2 years. I just need to finish the last 2 sections on it and will then post it.
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
How does Namjoons family feel about his fs?
Hi anon <3 Thank you so much for being here! I hope you're well!
Let's have a look:
♡ Want a personal reading? Check out my Ko-fi
How does Namjoon's family feel about his fs?
The magician, 6 of cups, page of wands, the fool, strength
Oooooooo I think the fam will like the fs a lot! From the get-go, the fs will show the family their most authentic self. At times, people try so hard to make a good impression that they lose themselves, but the fs is not that kind of person. They will always show their authentic self, especially to people as important as Namjoon’s family and the family will acknowledge this person’s efforts. They will see the amount of care between Namjoon and the fs and they will really like the love that the two share. Someone who is emotionally generous and who wants children? Is the family going to be excited that the fs is open about the fact that they want children? Ahahah everyone wants Bangtan babies!
The family can instantly see the sparks that fly between Namjoon and the fs at the start of the relationship, but they also acknowledge that the spark is needed for the future of the connection. I feel like the family also likes the fact that the fs stands up to Namjoon and challenges him. They don’t just agree with everything he says and Namjoon makes a huge effort to understand the fs’ point of view. This family is very good at observing and sitting back, I don’t feel like they get involved much unless it’s truly needed. They will see the fs as someone who is very strong and who will carry a lot of Namjoon’s burdens with him.
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
what does namjoon’s fs look like? how would they meet?
Namjoon's Future Spouse Appearance + Their Meeting💖
Appearance
The High Priestess, 7 of Wands, The Empress, Ace of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune.
Okay so Namjoon's fs is very mysterious type of girl, she is very reserved and quiet, so feminine, she may like to work out and do it too often, she have a very beautiful body(maybe hourglass shaped body), she may like to wear long dresses, she is very feminine and very beautiful, like a goddess type of beauty, she might be too obsessed with thay way her body looks, that's why she work out too much, also I feel that she is more sexy than cute.
I don't know why but the Sagittarius sign just crossed my mind now.
She cares a lot about her body and physical appearance in genereal, also has a very good skin, she may have a short hair(not too short) and blonde or brown, she dresses very well, very stylish.
She is very secretive and mysterious in her looks, when people see her they get intrigued with her beauty and mysterious aura and want to know more about her, but she doesn't let them.
How Will They Meet?
8 of Wands, 4 of Wands, The World, Page of Swords.
So their first meeting can be related to an accomplishment, they can meet in a moment of celebration, but when they meet each other it won't take long, their meeting will be fast and straightforward, Namjoon may meet her during a celebration of something he just accomplished, maybe during an award he won, like a goal, sorry guys I just can't express it but I'll try, btw, they may meet each other when Namjoon wins something (related to his career), an award, etc. And their meeting will be very fast, just them congratulating each other and then saying goodbye. They can meet somewhere outside of Korea.
That's it, hope you enjoyed, please like and take it as entertainment purposes only🫶🏻
Also sorry for not explaining how they're gonna meet, I just couldn't express it clearly idk why:/
#namjoon#namjoon tarot#namjoon fs#kim namjoon#bts fs#bts tarot#kpop tarot#bts future spouses#namjoon future spouse#bts#kpop#bangtan#bangtan boys#bts army#bts ot7#tarot#tarot reading#tarot readings#btsarmy#bts future wives
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I see that people have enjoyed moodboards about some BTS members and some fs. (For all the members I will do their moodboards on how it feels to connect to them).
However I would like to hear about your theory about x or y BTS’s fs theory! I’m open to read and post them all as long as they are respectful! I would love to know your point of view about all that! So if anyone wants to share their thoughts.
I also plan to make dialogue posts (similar to the MBTI’s ones) between BTS and the FS based on my intuition and how they behaved in the dreams I had. It might be funny.
As it’s all lighthearted please don’t be harsh on me because I have different opinions than most, it’s just funny how people are so curious about some fs and I would love to know why they think this or that! (Must be because I naturally am curious of people’s thoughts’s process).
#tarot blog#bts fs#yoongi tarot#yoongi future spouse#hoseok tarot#hoseok future spouse#jungkook tarot#namjoon tarot#taehyung tarot#jimin tarot#seokjin tarot#bts fs theory
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
New discussions happening around BTS fs energy shifts, Aisa can I ask for BTS fs update, how are they doing and what's up with the connection??
bts fs updates
req: october 24, 2023.
post: december 23, 2023.
cards: indicated in each section
i am so sorry for making jk's future spouse's section long. i promise you that this was NOT intended on my part. i asked jungkook to keep his section minimal, but the man did not listen and i kept having so many cards fall out. the reading i did for his section is the shortest way of reading the cards or else it would've been way too long. please understand that i did my best to shorten it.
☆ namjoon fs:
king of wands, five of swords, the hanged man rx, page of wands
namjoon's future spouse is at a moment where they have withdrawn from the world for a bit. they were previously the king of wands before this moment of withdrawal, meaning they were a leader, bold, very straightforward and one who acted on their thoughts without much plan or consideration. however, it seems like they had a moment where they faced some inner conflicts. i do not know what triggered this phase of reflection, but they seem to have realized that they need to reevaluate themself, the people they're surrounded by, and the situations they have gone through over the years. they're trying to view things from a different perspective and hopefully come out of this phase as the page of wands, who will rebuild themself into the king of wands again. i think they're working on their ego and also doing some shadow work that they tried to avoid for a very long time.
☆ jin fs:
i've been given too much information that i know should not be shared with the public, so i won't be saying anything for jin's future spouse. i will say that they are living life and learning many lessons at the moment, and they are having some realistic moments of reflection, reevaluation, and reconsideration.
☆ yoongi fs:
i'm so sorry, but i also have to abstain for yoongi's future spouse as well! oh my gosh! is all i will be saying for this one. sending my support to them.
☆ hoseok fs:
guys, what the actual f*ck???????? i can't share for jhope's fs, too. why are they (jin's, yoongi's, hobi's fs) just dumping so much tea on me at the same time- don't they understand that i am literally A READER? what if i share this information?! of course i won't though but like... DANG. i guess it's on me for not reaching out and doing more check-up's with them :')
☆ jimin's fs:
the moon, king of cups, nine of pentacles, eight of pentacles rx
i think jimin's future spouse is experiencing a down in their life right now. past thoughts and experiences that they didn't give proper closure to are resurfacing now and they may be having a bit of a hard time as a result. i see that this may be about a king of cups figure, who was, to them, very emotionally intelligent and understanding. i believe the future spouse felt very comfortable about this king of cups figure, but for some reason, that person is no longer with them (reason for this is not specified and it would be great if no assumptions or theories were made about this figure). they're being asked to balance out their current feelings, to make sure that they don't allow those emotions to overwhelm them and take control of their day-to-day life. i also see that they are reconsidering what success means to them. they're also working a lot on self-improvement and practicing more discipline to get back on track with their life. they're being asked to walk out of their current phase of withdrawal and isolation, and to move forward from their current situation. please send lots of support to jimin's future spouse.
☆ taehyung fs:
seven of swords, eight of pentacles, ace of swords
(1) they feel betrayed. but they will not elaborate and they also do not want me to elaborate. (2) they feel conflicted about something that they have been working on for a very long time. they may be confused on what they have to do. "did i make the right decision?" "is this really what i truly want?" they are withdrawn at the moment and they're reflecting a lot on whatever they were working on and developing. (3) i see that they might be receiving some romantic offers from people but they do not care at all. they seem to have feelings about a certain someone. it's like they feel a calling to this specific person who is very mature, stable, successful, and reliable. they're considering what could've happened with this person because from what it seems, something very unexpected happened that resulted in their very sudden separation. it feels like the future spouse is reminiscing.
☆ jungkook fs:
the devil rx, temperance & the emperor, four of swords, queen of cups
so the sheer amount of clarifying cards i pulled tells me that a lot has happened over the span of time that i did not check up with them :'). they are currently letting go of lots of unhealthy and negative thoughts and attachments that may have clouded their mind. they're going through a huge moment of transformation right now in every sense if that makes sense. i also see they're letting go of an attachment with some figure that was a part of their childhood. this figure is represented by the page of swords - very enthusiastic and full of energy, fun to be around. i feel lots of giddiness, warmth, and laughs from the future spouse's side. i see that the future spouse was very close with this figure and they were able to be vulnerable and true to themself around this figure. i see that they were/are very grateful for this page of swords figure but something happened pretty recently (from what it seems) and they were left very withdrawn, exhausted, overwhelmed, and disappointed. whatever happened has made them 'stuck' currently, in the sense that they are not moving on and they are lacking discipline in the way they are using their time in a sense. again, there is a sign of past feelings or memories that are resurfacing that is making them have a really hard time right now as this figure had a very close relationship with the future spouse. seeing how the two of cups came out, they may have been soulmates and even past life soulmates with the six of cups coming out as well. however, through this experience, there is an emperor figure in here, and i am guessing this is someone who is a fatherly figure(s) to the future spouse who is helping them with their current situation and being patient with them as they are withdrawn due to whatever happened. the future spouse is also asked to be calm no matter the situation and to see what happened from multiple perspectives as not doing so can create big misunderstandings. i also see that through this experience, the future spouse is rekindling a relationship with a king of wands figure (someone with very masculine energy), and the future spouse may be feeling more hope and faith in regards to this relationship. i pulled the star card, and this card represents renewal, discovery, and generosity, so do what you will with those meanings. they are also at a current state of rest at the moment. i asked what this break was for. they may have felt deceived or betrayed recently. they may also be taking a break from sort of collaboration with the people they work with. i also see some form of reunion going on and celebration on the reunion. i do not see that it's with jungkook though. lastly, jungkook describes them as the queen of cups, so someone very emotionally in tune with the people around them, intuitive, caring, nurturing, and kind. this is someone who would be willing to sacrifice themself for the needs of others. they're very maternal in a sense, and he really appreciates those qualities of the future spouse. (he had to put this in here. he insisted.)
#aisaariel#aisa & bts#aisa & namjoon#aisa & jin#aisa & yoongi#aisa & hoseok#aisa & jimin#aisa & taehyung#aisa & jungkook#bts tarot
68 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you do what attracts BTS to their fs in the first place? Not necessarily physical aspects but energy? What is it about them?
Replaced with sms as usual
For entertainment purposes only
Jin:He will see them as very powerful, clever, professional and intuitive, but they will also have a very visible soft side to them, tenderness for children, inner peace,quietude(?).The meeting may be very fast, sudden like thunder.He might be forced to leave too fast to his own taste and wonder about them later
(Note: it reminded me of something and this is somehow exactly how i describe his first impression of them wow)
Namjoon: So at first sight, they may be a bit... removed ?Only wands cards came out, and it all feels kind of formal ?or far away?Like seeing someone on TV and being like yeah theyre cool i guess.I think he will admire their work, maybe their work ethic ?Not super duper emotional nor passionate.May meet in a musical, professional setting.There will be a bit of a spark though
Yoongi:SOFT EYES EVERYBODY.SOFT EYES.Not the person, Min Yoongi will have soft eyes.He might find them cute and intriguing.It will be like a little surprise for him.One of them might act a bit shy at first ?
Hobi :THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.Y'ALL.I CANT.I get two things from this, first, it will fee like pure fate or luck.Second, he is going to see this person as wild card.He has no idea why he feels so drawn to them because he has no idea of who they are,what they think, what they love etc.The two people on the cards have good fashion so maybe he wonders about their sense of style, might be a bit on the unconventional or alternative style.
Jimin:How skilled they are, how talented.I heard "how they flirt" so take it as you will lol.Maybe he will see them sweettalk someone else, or discuss or debate and it will look so natural to them.
Taehyung:OH.OH.The situation might feel like danger, but in a good way?It reminds me of Business Proposal all the moments where anyone could get caught but dont for any reason.There is a sense of sneaky here, of curiosity, of hiding from the public something that is meant to be.Divine intervention secrets.
JK:I think in general he will see this person as incredibly cool and will be very excited to know them.Might recognize them immediately as someone who is romantically compatible with him.
#bts tarot#jungkook tarot#yoongi tarot#hoseok tarot#namjoon tarot#seokjin tarot#jimin tarot#taehyung tarot#bts soulmates
178 notes
·
View notes
Note
i dont know if you would do astrology placements or zodiac signs but in any case i will ask and if not ignore this ask, what zodiac signs placements would bts fs have?
thanks a lot in advance!
this ask is actually very interesting!! i will try to give it a go ,, thank you for sending in the ask
way of doing the reading: I will do the reading based on tarot, not by analysing the birth charts. someone who has passion for astrology could be better at this than me, I do this for fun, not as a certain statement. the question I will ask is, “what astrological placement of (blank)’s future spouse show through the most? “. If someone is really good in astrology feel free to correct me if I say anything that could be incorrect.
Jin - Capricorn! The energy surrounding his FS is very loving, caring kind and supportive. Filled with warmth, but the first colour that comes through when thinking about this person is pastel green so that could be their main aura colour. Which would explain the compassionate, forgiving and healing energy that surrounds them. An extremely selfless person. Since their guides are leading me to focus on how his FS treats others I assume the Capricorn placement lays in their 3rd or 11th house. Mercury, Venus or Mars are also options here. I am not quite sure but my best guess is that they have multiple Capricorn placements and it shows through most in Mercury due to communication and in Mars due to action. [ queen of pentacles ]
Yoongi - Sagittarius! Now, his FS is the kind of person that burdens themselves with the problems of others. Making things harder for themselves, just so they can help others have a brighter future. They do also believe that because of this, sooner or later they will be rewarded in life even if they can’t immediately see this. Meaning, potentially believing in good karma. Their energy is rather sad and burdened, so this is a kind of person that works hard and swallows their problems for a better future, because they believe it’s the best. A person that is very hard on themselves, believes they should endure hardships rather than reach out. They can handle themselves though, they don’t enjoy being pitied. There’s just this potential of being too giving to the point they hurt themselves mentally. So because of this I believe that their placement is either in 11th or 12th house, although the later is more likely. Possibly in Mercury, but not necessarily. [ ten of wands ]
Hobi - Taurus and Capricorn! Now, I would like to point out that the card that fell out for Hoseok is associated with these two zodiac signs, to the best of my knowledge. I do think his future spouse is someone that is very unique, extraordinary if you will. I do not mean they are edgy, quirky or anything of the sort but rather they are unapologetically themselves without the desire for approval from anyone. They don’t copy anyone to be seen different by other people, rather they just allow themselves to be who they are. Due to this they will know exactly how to love him the way he is and in what way to respond to his different moods without making anything heavy or awkward. I truly do think they are soulmates as his future spouse has a very unapologetic way of loving him as well. Meaning they do it with their full heart, not caring about the opinion of other people and just doing what is best for the both of them. They know how to take care of him and they know he got their back as well. They could also be very successful in their field regardless of what their job is, so they are a hard worker who knows what they are doing. My best guess is Taurus in Venus and Capricorn somewhere in 8th house. [ king of pentacles ]
For those who are curious I asked whether he is polygamous or not and the six of cups fell out. I will not be assuming about his romantic life or preferences, however if you wish to you can form your own opinion on it.
Namjoon - Libra! I actually shuffled twice for this due to being unsure, and both times a Libra card fell out so I would say that’s a pretty strong confirmation. Now, his person is a very strong minded, honest and just person who always does their best to be level headed and fair in situations. A good human to the core, is what they aim to be. They have a really strong sense of personal morals and discipline that they make sure to follow even on their hardest days. A very self righteous person who just aims to better this world. Though, they are also very playful and can be emotional if things go differently from what they expected, where Namjoon comes into play and helps ground them. It’s a very interesting dynamic, they lack where the other excels at which just causes them to have more love for one another and want to help each other out in hard times. Also, the attraction between them is strong, Beyonce’s Dejavu is coming through strong as a sign so I thought it’s important to mention. This could be either in their Sun or Mars sign, but that’s just my guess. [ queen of swords]
Jimin - Scorpio! Now, I know that a lot of people think that Scorpio as a sign is a very mean and bad one to have anywhere in your placement but that is certainly not true. A lot of Scorpio people are very tender hearted and just want what is best for people, which his FS’ is not an expectation from. This person has a very good heart but could be misunderstood due to their looks as they could have sharper features or possibly a colder appearance. It’s the kind of scenario where you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, you know? ‘Looks like they could kill you, but is a cinnamon roll.’ No, but seriously. This person is a really gentle person and desires the world to be a better place, possibly could often cry over world events that do not affect them, not because they are sensitive but due to having so much empathy within their heart. Due to this being the person they are to their core I do think this is either their sun sign or 12th house energy. [ death ]
Taehyung - Pisces! Now, I would love to point out that his FS spouse is extremely loving and most important of all mature. They will have a family together for sure and this person is very much aware of to take care of everyone in the way they need it yet they still feel like they aren’t lacking in anything at all, rather even grateful for the things that they have. Also, their loyalty is very much so highlighted and this pure, raw and genuine love they have for Taehyung. I am not saying he would, but even if he were to hurt them they would forgive him without having any kind of hatred in their heart. The best way I can describe them is ‘saint’. The kind of person to not judge, let alone hold a grudge towards their loved ones or anybody else. They were put on this earth because they are made to love wholeheartedly, really. My best guess is their placement being in 7th or 4th house looking at the fact that family and a stable home is very important to them.
Jungkook - Leo! Their person has a very fiery energy, I think the tower at the bottom of the desk proves this as its related to Aries. This person is very calm, collected, rational, intelligent and friendly, but, they are not going to shy away from a fight if they need to be involved in one. Especially if it’s about their loved ones. Of course, they will stand up for themselves too, but if a person they love or adore is being hurt or disrespected the person provoking them better prepare for what’s coming next. They can use both their words and their fist, whatever is necessary tbh. I do not think they look for fights on purpose though, it’s just that they have quite a strong personality and their own way of dealing with things. They don’t mean harm. As previously said, they are quite friendly and laid back. Really playful as well. Could at times playfully bicker with Jungkook, which he would actually like, it could bring out his competitive side a little bit. Aiming to “win”, I do think it’s something he likes about them. This could sit in either their 11th or 10th house although I think 10th is more likely. Possibly their moon as well.
that’s all! remember that this is for fun, don’t take it to heart. after all I do not know any of these people personally,, regardless I do hope it was a fun read!!
– Candy
#kpop#kpop reading#tarot#tarot reading#kpop tarot#kpop ask game#intuitive reading#kpop related#kpop game#paid tarot readings#bts#jin#seokjin#yoongi#suga#hobi#hoseok#j-hope#namjoon#RM#jimin#taehyung#v#jungkook#jeon jk#y’all i had to rewrite this bc of tumblr glitching out smh
48 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lobilo52
Untitled
silvanio-rockers
Buffalo Soldier
the-pizzaplexs-bacement-monsters
We are stuck together in the dirty basement.
penumbralstateofmind
Howl At Me
comicake
just some weirdo ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ