.

...

at what point does it stop being adhd + social anxiety + fear of change + sensory issues

and instead it starts being autism

ok i finished the first chapter and am gonna take a break now but im v excited to keep reading im really liking the way the author looks at things so far

hi abbssssssssss

imagine ethan taking care of reader because theyre drunk but they like have a “hatred” towards each other and idk can you add something to it 😭😭

(others already left so ethan and reader were the only ones left) OR LIKE YK HOW DRUNK THOUGHTS = SOBER THOUGHTS AND READER ACCIDENTALLY LIKE CONFESSES OR SOMETHING im making this up as i go im so sorry if it makes no sense its like 2 am rn

hi aisha!! i love this so much so ofc i’ll do it ml!!

DRUNK CONFESSIONS

ethan landry x reader!!

you were drunk, heavily. i mean you had seen ethan flirting with another girl and from there you were out but were'nt you supposed to hate him? he was too smart, too kind and too caring for you to even tolerate him and yet the drinks kept coming and you didn't want them to stop. until they did.

"y/n , honey how are you feeling?" anika asked as she sat with you. your head laid in her lap as you stared at the ceiling. mindy had your feet in her lap.

"im feeling great" you slurred and chad walked over. he ran his hand over your leg and you looked at him

"hey , we need to leave. are you going to be okay if we leave you with ethan?" he asked and you shared a look with him.

"put the pout away, youre drunk and one of us needs to take care of you" he stated and you nodded. you looked at the ceiling again, at this point most of the people had left. mindy removed your legs from her lap and anika removed your head from her lap as ethan walked over

"alright lets get you home" he said as he helped you up and chad looked at him

"take care of her ethan, i mean it" chad spoke in a protective manner and you smiled about it.

"i will" he told him and with that, he led you out of the house and to your dorm.

"ethannnn my legs hurt" you said and he sighed. he bent down and helped you onto his back as he carried you the rest of the way. your head rested on his shoulder. you didn't know why you were letting it happen but you were okay with it.

"okay we're here, where are your keys?" he asked and you pulled them out of your jacket as you handed them to him and he opened the door. he laid you on your bed and took off your jacket

"hey ethan" you said in a slurred voice.

"whats up?" he asked as he removed your shoes and socks. you stared at him

"youre really pretty" you stated

"what?" he asked

"ive always liked you ya know, the way you talk and care. you're so sweet" you slurred out and he blushed. he had waited for you to say that.

"say that when youre sober and ill believe you" he exclaimed and you nodded. he didn't mean it in a rude way and you knew it, he just wanted to make that you knew what you were saying and you meant it.

you fell asleep and the next morning when you woke up, you looked to your kitchen and saw ethan standing at the stove. its now or never

"i meant it, i do like you" you told him and he turned to you with a smile on his face.

"you mean it? truly?" he asked

"of course i meant it" you stated and he walked over , he grabbed your face and brought you in as he kissed you softly and you kissed him back.

who knew that drunk confessions could make something like this happen?

A/N: final ethan ask before i have to work on my other asks!! this is so cute

okay two versions of mafia dazai x ada kunikida + their adopted son atsushi

one

dark era

ok this would probably end up being an accidental fix it but um anyway

picture this, dark era dazai wandering around thinking up a new way to commit suicide

kunikida on his way back to the ada office after a mission

and atsushi who has managed to escape the orphanage and now is wandering in a new town

atsushi meets dazai while dazai's trying to drown himself like in canon

atsushi meets kunikida who notices a small starving kid drag someone out the river and immediately rushes to help

at this point kuni and dazai dont know each other

anyway

kunikida takes atsushi to eat and the drowning man is also there; they talk; atsushi is sweet

dazai's like "starving child do u wanna come with me" while kunikida is also inviting him to come w/ him to find a place to stay

now u might think why would dazai do this well idk something about a small child starving and exhausted but still finding in himself to help a stranger even tho itll leave him wet and cold was so surprising he didnt know what to do

and kunikida is just... kunikida and idk he's a nice guy

anyway

dazai and kunikida both argue atsushi should come with them and dazais like this guys probably right but its funny to see him riled up

anyway so theyre like okay whatever atsushi wut do u want

and atsushi, sweet tiny traumatized atsushi, doesn't wanna upset these ppl who seem so nice so he says both

and so the custody agreement starts

at first dazai doesn't tell anyone about atsushi becuz um who would want to admit they adopted a child to rile up a hot blond but

eventually as dazai and kunikida grow close to atsushi and to each other they find out about their jobs

kunikida is not happy about letting his son (whos only 4 years younger than him) live with mafia ppl around and makes dazai swear to protect him and dazais like okay fine ig

anyway

the only ppl who know atsushi in the mafia are oda and ango becuz um besties

chuuya knows somethings up but he hasnt quite figured it out

akutagawa has met atsushi but he doesn't know about atsushi and dazai

he does know this sweet kid who always greets him with a smile is under shared custody over two guys his brother who call themselves his dad but ya

atsushi isnt hiding it he's just shy around his first ever crush

anyway

atsushi loves the ada and fully wants to join but he also loves dazai but he has no desire to be with the mafia sense dazai has never let him meet anyone in the mafia while theyre on the clock if that makes sense

so essentially as my tags of the last post said

atsushi is the child of divorce that has to constantly move in between homes

but his parents are four years older than him

and not divorced becuz they arent even dating yet

and also he's accidentally the reason theyll ever get together

and also his homes r two rival organizations

anyway the fix it part comes from dazai having his in law family to help out when mimic comes but do with that what u will

and also same concept but theyre all older

some things that seemed off to me/didnt make sense to me as someone from the GA operating under the assumption that will’s feelings were one sided and mike was 100% straight (while watching st for the first time and i didnt even know what byler was):

• the m!leven kiss at the end of s3...at first i just thought mike was caught off guard about el saying she loved him too but it got weird when i realized he just looked confused as hell and didnt even atleast end up with heart eyes/a smitten smile after that moment of confusion he was legit just. standing there with a hunched back 😭 and he had the time to kiss back but he really just stood there with his eyes wide open¿¡¿¡

im ngl his eyes even look kind of dead/dull when i zoom into it instead of surprised like what is going on in his head...it looks so funny out of context cause el’s passionately into it while hes just 🧍‍♀️

• mike’s demeanor in the airport...particularly this expression after he asked will about the painting because it didnt just come off to me as mike being awkward it was 100% giving “act like i dont care” vibes 💀 and then knowing that el told mike about the painting in her letter and how she said it might be for someone will liked...

• the triple take. yeah if it was supposed to just demonstrate will pining over mike then why have mike react/notice will at all while looking like he was just caught slipping himself??

• literally this scene...i had question marks flying all over my head like what was the point of emphasizing how close mike and will suddenly were and their arms touching and having mike even GLANCE down at it its like. in fanfics when the characters become conscious that theyre invading each other’s personal space 💀 i let it slide until i remembered it recently and realized that. wait a minute...

literally no platonic explanation for these scenes im sorry....

edit: i have another addition and its mike’s CONFLICTED expression literally right after the mileven forehead touch...barely anyone talks about this too but i feel like its so TELLING. idk how nobody noticed how he literally looked a bit anguished right after looking at will like i thought it was really weird at my first watch 😭

look familiar?

Hi hi hello! Can i request mordern high school love with thoma? Reader being a gentle and reserved person being more popular among the juniors and thoma popular for his charm and being on the basketball team. Theyre relationship isnt too open but its not a secret either. They try to keep it low key of course

Now imagine the small moments with him :( after school studying at the library, walking home together, recess on the rooftop, arcade dates on the weekend and him winning you a plushie that we know sleep with evry night :(( him asking you to prom and being a gentleman :(( him coming over after school to study but end up staying over cause of the thunderstorm outside :(( our parents love him hes so sweet

(Pls help im so delulu for him)

ngl i love. modern high school aus theres smth about the simplicity of high school and being in the in between where you're *almost* an adult but still treated like a child and knowing youre about to ?? crest smth that everyone talks about anyway idk i really romanticised my high school life and ngl all my friends are from higschool LMAOO also the whole freshman/junior/sophmore/senior thing makes no sense to me idek if i put this in the right order and i wish prom was more of a thing here bc yall make it seem so fun

Thoma is definitely that kid that people know of, but don't really know all too well. He's really nice and all the teachers and students like him, and of course being both attractive and athletic made him that much easier to admire.

You had a crush on him for what feels like forever, wishing that one day he'd notice you out of all the other people who liked him too. He had so many admirers due to how kind he was, but being his friend you knew that there was so much to him.

When he finally asked you out it was the most cliche, yet sweetest way he could have ever done it. He drove you to a place that the two of you often frequented. When you got out, you turned around to see a picnic he prepared for the two of you, thinking it was just another nice thing he was doing for you because you were a little stressed out recently but the flowers and shy look on his face told you otherwise.

The two of you didn't go out of your way to tell everyone you were dating. Thoma just wasn't as willing to let people touch him as much, and you were seen hanging around the basketball team a little more often than before. Thoma always walked you to class anyway if he could, so people couldn't really tell the difference until one day they saw him give you a hug.

By that point everyone found out pretty quick but the two of you didn't feel the need to justify anything to anybody so you'd just confirm that you were dating and that was it.

Thoma always loves taking you on various dates whenever you can. He would see what kinds of places pop up on his feed and scout them out before taking you out for a night on the town (until curfew of course).

Your parents were really trying to look for something to be wrong with him, not wanting him to distract you from your life or end up in an unsatisfactory position of your heart being broken or anything like that. However, the fact that he constantly brought you home on time and made sure to say greet your parents every time as well as bring them treats he baked himself made it hard for him to stay hated in their eyes.

He's constantly gifting you things that remind him of you. If he's at the grocery store then he's giving you a candy that you liked. If he's at the mall he found some accessory he thought you'd look good with. It doesn't matter when or where - you're always on his mind and the trinkets you've accumulated from him are proof of that.

Whenever there are any events locally he loves to take you to them. Whether it be some sort of festival or just a pop up his favourite thing to do is explore the grounds with you and spoil you with prizes or the food there. He's got no limits when it comes to you.

Exam season means crunch time. The two of you are forcibly holed up by each other to try and get studying done. He's a hard worker so he's got tons of study tips for you if you need it and the right amount of rewards too. Whenever you get a practise question right or finish a writing prompt within the time limit well he always congratulates you with a hug or a kiss.

I can see him being super into doubling too. The two of you are one of those people who are constantly on call just doing random shit together. Neither of you has to actually talk to the other person - you both just like being in each other's presence.

Your room and bed are both filled with tons of things that Thoma gives you and he can't help but grin to himself whenever he comes over and sees it. He's got photos commemorating everything on his phone, glad that you like the things he gives you as much as he likes you.

Thoma absolutely adores you and I can see the two of you being high school sweethearts. He comes to your events and you to his, and the two of you end up living a perfectly happy life together, glad that one day oh so many years ago the two of you were assigned lockers next to each other.

none of the dog sees god characters are popular theyre all weirdo loser freaks no one likes but the majority of them are too self centered to even realize this. my reasoning 👇 (ITS REALLY LONG AND THERE ARE MULTIPLE IMAGES. WARNING)

ok this has kinda like always been how i interpreted things and then i looked literally anywhere else where people are talking about dog sees god and all the summaries are like pigpen and charlie brown and peppermint patty and marcie are COOL and POPULAR and BULLY the UNDERLING that is SCHROEDER. and that just like. doesnt feel right? like narratively that feels incorrect so im going to explain this now.

first ok. so this is also like a completely separate pet peeve of mine but the text literally never says that cb and matt play football like literally every single fucking source everywhere says. like matts page on the villains wiki says one of his hobbies is playing football and like. no???? they never???? say that????? like ok. we know their school HAS a football team (beethoven mentions it in the vipers nest) and we know cb and matt play SOME sport (matt mentions that they "shower together after practice" in the hangover) but the connection is never explicitly drawn between the two. in FACT beethovens line about the football team (below)

kind of like. goes against the idea that cb and matt are on the football team??? like hes talking to cb here i feel like if beethoven were to mention even sarcastically ogling a group that cb is apart of hed make some kind of comment about it. like this is before their whole thing gets resolved theyre still fighting when he says this line it would make complete sense for cb to say something about this. and like ok its peanuts right like just reminding everyone that its peanuts. you know what sport it would make more sense that charlie fucking brown plays like you know what sport it would seem logical for him to play oh i dont know fucking BASEBALL????? im realizing now that this is like a lot less relevant to my original idea than i thought but i still want to keep it here. i think its just kinda like. its not canon that theyre super popular stars of the football team for all we know they could be playing fucking tennis the fact that they play A Sport doesnt make them well liked. also it literally never says at any point that theyre even good even if they are on the football team they could be the worst players we dont fucking know!!! need i remind you of charlie browns only* experience with football

*besides youre in the super bowl charlie brown but that specials bad so were ignoring it. and its not like he was good at football in that either

and if you buy into the idea that they play baseball (which you should baseball is such an integral part of peanuts it makes the most sense) charlie brown (and pigpen for what its worth. also like everyone else too) is DOGSHIT at baseball like its an entire decades long running joke how fucking awful they are at baseball. "maybe he practiced and got better" hes terrible to his bones practice does nothing. heart

ok onto more substantial points. so if you buy into the interpretation that their childhood was just literally normal peanuts (which you should because its very funny) then you can assume that these guys have all known eachother since elementary school (and even if you dont there are multiple lines that reference them being friends as kids so point still stands). but also by virtue of dsg being a peanuts parody and a lot of the comedy just coming from "haha that s like from the comic strip :)" (I WILL TALK ABOUT THE INHERENT TRAGEDY OF THIS LATER) besides like. one guy. every single character mentioned is an established peanuts character. and like idk about you but my highschool is a LOT bigger than my elementary school. like. there are substantially more people there. what im trying to say that while not impossible it is fucking WEIRD to have a decently sized friendgroup that has not changed the slightest bit in almost a decade. what im getting at is these bitches are INSULAR!!!!!!!! they are extremely hyperfocused on an only think about people from their childhoods. i will get back to this

LETS TALK ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK CAN WE TALK ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK PLEASE GOD MAC IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SALISBURY STEAK ALL DAY ok so this scene. woof. ok. this is where the majority of my reasoning for this comes from. first, i want to draw attention to the fact that frieda, the girl that tricia and marcy make fun of so frequently, is another goddamn peanuts character. and so another elementary school friend. it just doesnt end with these bitches do you think about anything else!!!!!!

if tricia and marcy had any kind of actual social standing, them constantly gossiping and shittalking frieda would matter to her. being so constantly and relentlessly made fun of by popular people would have an impact (hi yes i know youre thinking of beethoven ignore him for now were gonna come back to him). but it doesnt! frieda doesnt care about what tricia and marcy think of her, why would she? theyre just those two girls from elementary school who are angry all the time. friedas on the outside, shes not apart of this. the only student mentioned thats not a peanuts character? thats her boyfriend. she is the only window into the world of normalcy

THIS^^ THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE LINE THAT GAVE ME THIS WHOLE IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE. im fairly certain the purpose of this line is to place doubt in our minds on whether or not what we assumed the entire play is actually true. which its not!!! of course this isnt the cool table, all these people do is argue an gossip an stew in their own misery!!!!

ummmm lighting round of things that support my point. if they really were these ultimate cool all powerful popular kids why the hell are they still friends with van. van is a burnout stoner with a sister in an psych ward. considering the things they pounce on to make fun of, this is MORE than enough to completely open fire. but theyre not gonnaaaaa because theyre in the same boat as him!!!!! van and them are on the same level of popularity!!!!!! ummalso THE PARTY the party. the only other guests mentioned to be at this party are franklin (another peanuts character, another childhood friend) and fucking RERUN ? in the comics rerun is established to be MUCH younger than the main cast, even younger than sally, who is mostly shown to be in kindergarten, meaning hed be in middle school at the MOST. and its not like this is a party at vans house and his brother just happens to be there NO!!! THIS IS MARCYS PARTY HE BROUGHT RERUN WITH HIM LITERALLY WHY IS RERUN THERE. THIS PARTY FUCKING SUCKS I KNOW IT IN MY SOUL.

were coming back to beethoven now the thing is that hes in the exact same boat as everyone else. while we do know that its not just the main cast that are outwardly homophobic ("i only got called a queer 3 times ^_^!") it is consistently shown that the main perpetrators are the main cast, much more so than anyone else. beethoven posits that the only reason cb only got called queer is because everyones scared hell beat them up, but i do think its worth considering that the main cast are the only ones who would ever enact actual violence. beethoven is in the same situation, but moreso by force than by choice. hes forced to relive reminders of traumatic childhood events and forced to cling to the past BECAUSE the people that target him used to be his friends. theres a reason they were the only people in peer counseling.

like i said, there is a certain tragedy that comes with dsg being a peanuts parody. its because of the referential comedy that bert royal created a cast of characters so self centered and so hung up on the past that theyre still extremely fixated on the kinds of people they were and the drama they had and their feelings about eachother from when they were literally fucking 8 years old. and isnt that jsut so much more thematically interesting than "oohh popular kid bully gay unpopular kid ooohhhh" theyre all unreliable narrators!!!!!!!! theyre all sick freaks and everyone knows it!!!!!!!! there is no possible justification for their actions, theyre hypocrites plain and simple.

or maybe im reading into everything too much idk its 1 am im talking about the fucking peanuts yaoi fag play. bye

hello beloved mutuals u’ll never guess what character this post is about. to celebrate the episode betty’s ten year anniversary of existence here is a annotation of sorts (?) of my betty playlist (<- talking to empty audience) warning this makes increasingly less sense

starting off strong with betty (a little bit of madness) by half shy !!!!! we dont appreciate this song enough THERE IS A SONG ABT HER !!!!!! BY SOMEONE WHO WROTE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW :3 dont even have to say anything abt this one

THE MOON WILL SING BY THE CRANE WIVES. ITS THE. THE I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE. I SPENT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO SIMON IM NOT SURE THERES EVEN ANY ME LEFT ANYMORE. shaking like a rabid dog do we get the vision

the deal by mitski !! this one is just sooo betty fusing with golb ok trust me

& by tally hall!! this one is solely for the outro tbh 😭 BIG BAD BETTY OF THE POCALYPSE, SHE OPENS HER LIPS AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ‼️🔥🔥

I BET ON LOSING DOGS BY MITSKI. GODDD THIS IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST. III BET ON LOSING DOGSS, I KNOW THEYRE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE BY THE RING. simon/ice king ok. are we seeing the vision. and dont even get me STARTEDDD on i always want u when im finally fine… ITS THE WAY SIMON WAS INSANE AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY HIMSELF AGAIN SHE WAS GONE. EATING GLASS. and FINALLY the SOMEONE TO WATCH ME DIE. GODDDD.

curses by the crane wives! I JUST THINK IT FITS OK :3 the devils after both of ussss OUGHGUH

no eyed girl by lemon demon, gonna be so real idk how to explain this one. we’re just vibing

i’m your man by mitski. yes theres a lot of mitski. this is on my petrigrof playlist as well and i think it could be from either pov tbh. LIKE the first verse is betty i think and the second is simon’s suicidal ass in fionna and cake

running up that hill (a deal with god) by kate bush :3 this ones just OBVIOUSSS id make a deal with god… GET HIM TO SWAP OUR PLACES…..

my girlfriend is a witch by october country ! just for sillies. magic betty ily forever and ever

love, me normally by will wood! dont know how to explain this one either tbh bc will wood lyrics scramble my brain but in a pleasant way. idk i just think shes full of autism and also magic insanity

sick of losing soulmates by dodie! OUGHGHG. another more petrigrof centered one but mannn . I CAN FINALLY SEE UR AS FUCKED UP AS ME SO HOW DO WE WIN. I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. lighting myself on fire

death thrice dawn by the scary jokes! ngl i dont remember adding this one but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tossing this verse at u

wife by mitski!!!! is this a stretch. idc idc. ur home to mee if i am not urs what am iiii

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski !! guhh magic betty and “i’m sure that uve seen what its done to my heart” and “im not the girl i ought to be” and “you can tell them what u saw in me and not the way i am” ☹️ ANDDD could we just be what we’re meant to be, im just about to beg u pleaseew ☹️💔

i guess by mitski GODDDD so proud of her for moving on and idk learning to pass the bechdel test i GUESS but im GOINJ TO EAT FIBERGLASS

ANDDD THATS THE END !!! FOR NOW !!! there will be more songs on this playlist later :3 if u read this ily and i will probably do this w/ my petrigrof playlist at some point :3

PLEASE please please tell us all about your thoughts regarding davesprite. it does NOT HAVE TO BE COHERENT!!

FINALLY THE KIND OF ASKS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

I mean, it's nothing insane or hasn't already been said before. but god damn the knight making the ultimate sacrafice thing and then it never going appreciated fucks me up. plus it's fucking dave so the dude already spent his life under appreciated so this kid cant catch a fucking break. somebody i was talking to the other day said something about the guardian angel going thankless ? yeah dude imagine doing that when ur 13 and just want yourself and your only friends to live. fucks me right up dude dave is such a good fucking person to his core.

SO FUCKING MAD HE DIDN'T GET LIKE. Idk man i felt like he was actually getting set up for a lot more. like yknow, the dude that had to give up everything for the alpha timeline to keep going? he just gets shit on by his best friend for three years, explodes sometimes and then idk fuckin turned into a cat girl? THAT'S how you one let one of the most important daves to go out?? man... ok i guess..... i guess it is something of a reminder of like. the futility and how little the dead players mean to the alpha timeline. like, you were important but you're still just some stepping stone and i cant even imagine how hard that is for the dude who already doubted he could he anything great or heroic. FUCKING DAVES NOT THINKING THEYRE HEROIC AND THEN SACRAFICING THEMSELVES HEROICALLY. I want you dead dave strider im coming to your fucking house to get you man. i love this stupid kid. like most of davesprites reactions are so fucking normal for a kid that's lashing out or throwing a tantrum. and dude deserves to oh my god. not saying that hes infallible but like! he's a person still! and he has big emotions! why cant anybody but jade see the big emotions in this boy :( i mean i get it they technically both share the commonality of being a sprite at some point, in jades case. ok if i keep going down this thought path im its going to turn into a me shaking john around for being the kind of dude he is. which is like. i love him. but holy shit man.

actually. yknow what im one of the johndave guys. this extends itself to johndavesprite. i gotta put the insane ramblings i had in here too. fuck you im taking it as an excuse to talk about john psychology too and you CAN'T STOP ME.

so yeah theres that. apolocheese for the itty bittiest fuckin text ever.

in conclusion, davesprite rules, and john drools because hes dumb. i love him! but hes so special and especially stupid. BUT YEAH DAVESPRITE HES SO COOL. and fuckin fun to draw too actually i have some art to post i'll do that here in a sec

BUT YEAH THANKS FOR THE ASKING OF MY THOUGHTS. glad i dont have to be coherent either, shockingly enough its not really my style lmao. hope any of this made any sense o7

Am I the only one who feels like the way this fandom talks about female characters is always so like???? Omg girlboss but also a girlfailure I support women’s rights AND wrongs she was robbed!!!! Idk it’s always the same few phrases lol I don’t get it.

OHHHH I AGREE SO HARD💀 seeing the same 3 phrases used to describe the female characters bc they think its a diversity win. ok.

Female character is independent or strong etc -> omg shes suuuuch a girlboss teehee🙈 step on me. other weird and annoying sexual comments bc girlbossery is sexy (or something) and thats the only appeal female characters are allowed to have for a lot of people Female character is kinda cringe sometimes and doesnt succeed at everything -> omg my silly girlfaliure girlloser shes so sillystupid i love her Female character has dimension -> omg??? shes like a girlboss and a girlfaliure at the same time???

ignoring the fact i hate so many things about tacking on the prefix girl to random shit as something that feels like a negative connotation (or something degrading), there is 0 critical thinking people have for female characters and its like. ok man. people come up with 600 random headcanons and backstory elements for every single male character they like but designate the female characters they like to "oh ummm shes a girlboss so i like her😊" AWWEEESOMEEEEE. LOVE TO SEE IT🥴

and to people that dont see that or say that doesnt happen....... it does. i see it with my own eyeballs every damn day. eg; in fanon noah has 8 (or 9? i forget) girlboss sisters and is an expert hacker and speaks 300 languages and knows everything and makes 0 mistakes and is always calculated all the time and has 20 boyfriends while in canon he got kicked out of the opportunity of 100k dollars because he was reading and hates everyone and plays video games all day and is a massive schmuck for 1 single person that being emma. sorry noah fans thats just how it is. headcanons are fine but it gets to the point where its like hey guys what are we doing here.

and ok whatever. say we all stop talking about noah bc god knows he did nothing to deserve it. where do we go from there? the amount of people i see saying they wish there was more f/f in fandom they just dont wanna write it or people that say they wish they wrote f/f more its just too hard has me :I i think it really just proves how little fanon there is for female characters. since generally fanon is what fandom bases its fanfiction and general characterization on and f/f famously contains only women, it makes sense that if its "hard" to write for f/f pairings it means that people just dont care enough about the women to make wide spread fandom interpretations of them.

and it reaaaaaally sucks. total drama has what i consider a pretty good cast of diverse female characters. And sure, a lot of the time the show doesnt do them justice (they were robbed as many many MANY people say) but a lot of them have so much potential and all of them have at least SOME potential. but ofc, due to how theyre treated in the fandom, no one really cares about them outside of them being paired up with men. and even worse, people will just straight ignore them outright a lot of the time because they 'get in the way of their mlm ship' or some bs.

am i saying its inherently misogynistic to write mlm ships? HELLLLLL no. im just saying that the heavy apathy or visceral anger many many many female characters get unless theyre paired up with a man or because they 'get in the way of' a mans love for another man is quite frankly laughable when you consider what actually goes on in the show. this shit was made for kids, these people are kids. its just so weird just how obsessed people can be with a fictional character to the point of these overblown reactions to other characters of the same god damn show

If you want to talk about one of your aus, or au ideas, I'd love to hear about them! (*scoots my chair forward, looking hopeful*)

ok ive been wanting to answer this for a while but i kept on being so scared because ah! this is the one opportunity ill get to talk about my au! but then i realized that is stupid this is not gonna be my only opportunity to talk about my au

putting my ramblings under a read more because i ended up uh saying a whole lot about Donnie and his relationship with both Splinter and Big Mama

ok so basically ive been thinking a lot about the little prince au because it is fully my child and i adore it so much but ive been specifically thinking about Donnie and Splinter's relationship because I really want to write their relationship well

theyre gonna have such an interesting relationship. I know I havent gotten into how Big Mama ended up with Donnie but I am working on a comic for that so I'm not going to get into all of the details but Splinter does know that he left a turtle behind, he just thinks that the turtle he left behind died in the lab explosion, so over the years he has dealt with guilt because of that but overtime that guilt not necessarily faded but he comes to rationalize it because truly it wasn't his fault that Donnie got left behind, and truly there was nothing he could have done to save Donnie. But once he learns that Donnie is not only alive but that he's been living with Big Mama, Splinter's guilt is going to come back at full force because oh my god, not only is the kid that he thought was dead actually alive but he was raised by the woman who kidnapped Splinter and forced him to fight for years!

Splinter is going to be trying so hard to get Donnie to live with him once he learns that Donnie is alive, and he's going to be trying so hard to be the best parent for Donnie ever to like makeup for abandoning Donnie back in the lab explosion. or you know, not abandoning Donnie but that's what Splinter sees it as

I also want Donnie to have like similar reactions to leaving Big Mama that Splinter had. Like undeniably Splinter was incredibly depressed after leaving Big Mama, and like Big Mama turned this thing that Splinter loved, you know performing and being in the spotlight and entertaining!, and completely took away any agency that he could have to this thing that he loved to the point where he refused to take part in it just so he could have some sort of control over his life again

When Donnie leaves Big Mama (whether its by his own will or not I havent decided or figured out how he comes to live with the Hamatos yet) but he's going to go through something similar just a complete shut down where he abandons everything that he loved to do because he now associates them with Big Mama and her control over him if that makes sense? Like Donnie LOVES dancing and he loves playing music and listening to music! but these are activities that Big Mama actively encouraged and so naturally hes going to associate them with her.

I think one thing Donnie is going to throw himself into when he first leaves Big Mama is his inventing. Sort of like how Splinter would lose himself in his shows, I think Donnie is going to get into a sort of headspace where he just spaces out and doesn't have to think about anything while he's tinkering around.

Donnie and Splinter I think are also both going to want to try to prove themselves to each other? Splinter I think might end up being really overbearing while trying to makeup for all this lost time while Donnie is going to try to be the perfect son for Splinter just like he tried to be the perfect son for Big Mama

But like once they actually get to talking and once Donnie is more comfortable around Splinter I think these two are going to have a lot of heart to hearts just because Big Mama controlled their lives for so long, there's a lot of stuff to bond over and relate to

Idk Im not super confident in my writing abilities and Im trying really hard to portray Big Mama as a narcissistic parent but a lot of the stuff that I've read about how narcissistic personality disorder might portray itself in a parental role like centers heavily on the way that they pit siblings against each other and Donnie does not have a sibling! So I guess in a sense he would be both the golden child and the scapegoat which must make for a confusing existence. I dont even know if im portraying this well at all or if any of this is coming across in my writing but I sure hope that it is!

Another thing I want to get into is how Big Mama like reacts to Donnie's inventing because like having a super smart kid that can build you whatever you want is logically a very good resource to have and she does want him to keep building her stuff. But like inventing is messy! Science is messy! In an ideal world Donnie would be getting down and dirty working hard on engineering and botany, and like Donnie can sometimes get so focused on his work that he turns into a bit of a hermit till he comes out of that focused mindset and that's really the part that Big Mama doesn't like because like yes having a super smart kid does reflect very well on her, but having a kid whose constantly playing in the dirt or messing around with explosives and other dangerous devices and who occasionally goes completely MIA while working does not reflect well on her. So she's put into a position where she both wants Donnie to keep building her stuff but she also doesn't want all that extra messiness that comes with encouraging this interest of his.

Anyways im going to stop now because this has gotten WAY too long and I dont even know where im going with this! but it was so helpful to write this all out and just like getting my like thoughts you know written out so I can actually see if any of this makes sense asdklfjhsakdjh

sorry for sending this and getting involed while everyone else is being a dick about it. please dont think i agree with them.

but i do want to say that like. the genital preference thing is just like, a preference. like some people prefer to have sex in certain ways and thats not always possible with a given person's anatomy. i dont think its like a moral issue to say like for example "i like eating pussy but i prefer not to suck a dick" because those are two different things? and it doesnt necessarily come from transphobia either, i think theres more nuance than that.

there are plenty of reasons that someone might prefer a given set of genital traits (idk how to phrase that) like some people vastly prefer sucking a dick and thats great and fine and someone without that wouldnt be able to satisfy them in the ways they want to

like it will ofc get transphobic if there are assumptions about a persons anatomy based on whether theyre trans. like "i wouldnt have sex with a trans woman bc i dont like dicks" IS transphobic. but the statment "i dont want to have sex with a person with a dick" is just, a preference. the transphobia, i think, comes from the given assumptions about what trans bodies look like, both before and after surgery, thats where the political and social implications of genital preference come in. well that and the set of sex acts that people assume are possible with any given genitals.

wrt the sex acts thing like i, a pre bottom surgery trans guy, can have piv sex using my dick, which people would not think given the political and social implications of having a vagina. i think at a certain point blanket statements dont cover it and you would be Much better off confining it to specific sex acts and discussing with a person beforehand.

ftr i dont think cis people use the term genital preference acceptably and we should absolutely take that phrase away from them. but that doesnt make the term itself transphobic imo

I guess I’m just not willing to give this line of argument a lot of credit given how deeply this conversation is entrenched in (especially transmisogynistic) transphobia. I do not think it is possible to fully extricate yourself from cis-heteronormative ideas about bodies when talking about genitals in general.

And to be clear, I agree with you in the sense that I think moralising all aspects of sexual desire can lead to really bad conclusions - my stance on this issue is not predicated on the fact that I think all sexual desire and sexual expression is indicative of some underlying moral principle (ie the notion that BDSM or kinky sex means you love abusing people, or that engaging in group sex means you’re needy and self-centred, etc), because I don’t believe that and I think that can quickly lead to reactionary ideas about sex. But I am unwilling to cede rhetorical ground to “it’s just a preference” not because I think it’s impossible to prefer certain styles of sex over others - or even certain genitals over others - without attaching grand moral values to those preferences, but because of how deeply violent and malicious these ideas are so often expressed in the world. There is a dedicated slur for trans women that is premised on the fact that they have “the wrong” set of genitals, and by “pretending” otherwise (ie by being women) they are “tricking” men into finding them attractive or having sex with them. Because genitals are synonymous with gender by societal standards, because their presence and absence within gendered spaces are so deeply policed, because trans people having the genitals we have is itself seen as a criminal act (“concealing” our “true nature” for “nefarious” purposes) as well as evidence of the fraudulence of our humanity, I am extremely reluctant to entertain casual conversations that conclude with “well it’s just a preference.” Like, okay, maybe it is! But when I see that articulated in ways that frame some genitals as universally “repulsive” or disgusting, both of which are aesthetic assessments with very loaded (even if unintentional) moral judgements, transphobia alarm bells start going off in my head. Trans people are existentially dislocated from public spaces because our genitals determine access to basic necessities like bathrooms, changing rooms, dressing rooms, and the like - we do not belong because we are trying to enter gendered spaces with the “wrong” genitals attached to our bodies. Because access to public spaces is gendered, and because that gendering process is mediated through your genitals, it’s not just our identity being called into question but our ability to be human beings in public space. Our genitals are the site of metaphysical societal anguish over the nature of gender itself. Those are some pretty high stakes!

If someone prefers some sets of genitals over others, that is not an automatic comprehensive condemnation of their moral character vis a vis trans issues - it is, however, if the way they articulate that preference is indistinguishable from transphobic rhetoric, and if you step two paces in any direction you will encounter crowds of people doing just that.

hey so im v curious about like reality shifting and stuff but idk much about it and i have some questions

hii ok

im like

a bit eepy

but ill try to make my thoughts make sense

so

(forgive me, i wanna learn more about shifting and the community, but all of my knowledge comes from inherently critical sources, so im sorry if i come off as rude or anything, im not trying to be i genuinely want to learn more about this)

reality shifting

to my understanding

is like...kinda a combination of fiction/fanfic and dreaming.

and it stems from the idea of the multiverse?

and the idea. that you can exchange your consciousness with someones from another timeline/parallel universe

and usually this happens when youre dreaming or begins when you sleep

so

(also plz correct me if im wrong on any of the stuff above)

now onto question stuff

i think its pretty important, that like. a lot of the stuff ive seen around shifting and like, response to any criticism is basically like 'youre the only person holding yourself back" like, anyone can shift, so if you cant its your fault

and on one hand i guess this could be motivational? like as long as you try hard enough its possible?

basically i want to make sure it isnt hurting peoples self esteem or mental health

but also. i. had a similar experience with lucid dreaming when i was a kid. my mom had a phase about lucid dreaming and was telling me all about it and was like 'you should try it' so i did. i tried. over and over. to somehow just 'realize' i was dreaming and take control. it never worked for me. and my mom was like 'well i guess youre just not trying hard enough'

and it was really disheartening bc ive always had trouble with sleep (might have like. insomnia or something. ive never been able to sleep well through a full night even before my life was consumed by screens.) and ive always had extremely strange dreams. and in my waking mind of course i know that if my teacher turned into an octopus with an apple for a head (yes this did happen in a dream) i would definitely notice and be like 'hey, thats not right' but it doesnt work like that in dreams. in my dreams it kinda feels like my impulses control me and i dont have any sense of self or logic.

and it felt awful to be told that it was my fault that i couldnt do it.

i also know that lucid dreaming somewhat ties into shifting so thats one of my other concerns, bc ive never been able to lucid dream and i dont know if i ever will

also idk where to put this but like. safety is important to me. i have friends who shift and i want to make sure they arent like, actually at risk of dying? and even seperate from that im wondering if people use this as a form of escapism too often that it becomes unhealthy and like negatively affects other aspects of their life

next question: is there proof

of course theres going to be anecdotal evidence from individuals in the community, and thats super alright. but sometimes people make things up. and sometimes people tell made up things to young, impressionable children who carry those falsehoods into life. and im worried about that

ok so ive read like 1 artice about this all. but immediately it brought up a major red flag for me. it gave an example of a study on shifting. but. it didnt cite its sources

and if anyones wondering that is a huge no-no. anyone can make up conclusions from made up studies. the point of studies is to show that people who are properly educated and know what theyre doing support these claims.

now im not saying shifting is made up in any way. it just seems sketchy to me that seemingly widespread sources talk about studies but theres no links or anything. theyre basically saying 'i saw a thing about it. just trust me.'

also uhh...idk much about the multiverse. but from what i understand. it comes from the idea of free will. and that every time anyone makes a descision, a parallel universe is created where they made a different descision. so i get that that could change a lot of things about the world like the rate of inventions and industrialization and wars and stuff. but really the shifting that ive seen most is into more fantasy leaning worlds. and im kinda wondering how thats possible in the multiverse? like sure theres infinite timelines...but most of those timelines will just be like. the same as this one but samantha chose to put on her right sock first instead of her left sock or something. and physics still applies, right? so how does hogwarts exist? does hogwarts exist? if magic is real in a parallel universe, is it real here?

so basically to sum it up my main questions are:

how do we know shifting is possible for everyone?

is it safe? (mentally, physically etc)

is lucid dreaming necessary?

is there any proof or credible source that i can look to for more info?

and how does this tie into the multiverse theory

also if anyone has any information about scripting and like evrything about reality shifting that would be great

i wanna learn more but im afraid of finding misinformation

ty :3

saw someone else post about this and i really agree i think it just wasnt the right time for purgatory, the stakes were there but the vibe and the point in roleplay development for individual characters just.. wasnt it for me. I dont know what they have planned for the future so i cant say it shouldve happened later, but i think because of all the trips and vidcon the charas had just gotten to a point where they had started healing from their kids going missing only to be thrown into this, which can be a good point narratively but theres also a couple other things that kinda just didnt let it work out for me tbh

a lot of it was just the rules and events were weird? that probably makes no sense. but like from a viewer pov it felt like the characters were beta testers for this and the rules have been constantly changing, so its hard to get comfortable in. Like when theres a set of consistent rules teams are able to more accurately strategize and such and they couldnt really do that? so it just felt like weird improv the whole time which theyre very good at but it was just.. like idk unbalanced? thats a dif point that contributed

like etoiles pointed this out that they balanced the teams (not really imo) in game but not fandom-wise, like certain teams had a very large fanbase and certain others had a very small one, etc etc. And like for example blue team had much less people on consistently but by the time they realized that it was probably too late to change teams without an event like the one recently splitting green. I feel like the admins tried to mix up the players outside of their usual friend groups but it just kinda cut the ints in half? i know cellbit didnt wanna kill roier, bad was very isolated from all his regular friends and therefore nobody wanted to talk to him (he wasnt on their team), tubbo was kinda suffering because he couldnt use create. Red team was overwhelmingly loud, blue was crushingly quiet, green was... tbh not on a lot of the time. Not good to watch from most POVs

i could be wrong about a couple things but like this is my general feeling on it, odd timing and weird balancing combined with toxic fandoms caused by competitiveness within the streams kinda ruined it for me, you can only curate ur experience so much

I really like how you put the first part because it was also something that I had felt about the event but I couldn’t really pinpoint why? I’m sure that a lot of the planning came down to a lot of stuff we can’t see behind the scenes like trying to be mindful of the ccs/ admins schedules but scheduling purgatory so far out from the disappearance really changed a lot. Like I just got used to not having the eggs and being fine with that and a lot of the ccs did sort of move on/ adapt to it. Obviously most people want the eggs back safe but I think some novelty has worn off after being away from them for so long. I think purgatory would’ve had more of an effect if the wound was more fresh when purgatory took place it would’ve made the stakes higher and I don’t think as many people would be saying “oh I don’t care if the eggs die at this point just end purgatory.”

Also the rules changing I noticed too was really jarring from day to day. I feel like a lot of the qsmp is like this and it’s a product of the admins being quick to respond to complaints in general and changing things accordingly. In my ideal world where the admin team could’ve just run the event with a test group to almost like stress test the rules? but i doubt that’s a very viable option. It would’ve been nice to see teams strategize more than play off the cuff in the limited time frame they have I feel like that only really rewards people with spontaneous playstyles

I think a lot of the problems with balancing fanbases revolves around people not knowing how to act online. The qsmp has long stretches where there isn’t much character conflict so that’s attracted a lot of people who feel really attracted to one pov and just don’t know how to handle conflict. We’ve seen this stuff outside of purgatory like during the entirety of the elections arc and when characters have an insignificant argument in rp. I don’t think you could balance viewers while also balancing skill but its definitely a problem that exists and doesn’t really have a clean solution. Also I do think the division of teams was to encourage different people to interact or possibly drive more in rp angst but it did fall flat in ways that were unintended.

Overall I think a lot of purgatory was trying to cater to a lot of people at once but thats just not working. I enjoyed the event from the standpoint that no matter what the admins want a good audience experience and they wouldn’t intentionally let us down. This seems more like a fundamental flaw in the server maybe? That it’s just not structured to be doing competitive game in this format at the very least.