#my mental health is a disaster | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gracegrove · 1 year

Text

Harringrove 90s au/Frasier crossover

Tw for: implied panic attack, implied depression, mental health themes, implied dark-ish/teensy bit angsty, era-appropriate sexuality stereotyping

It's 1994 and Steve is a mover and shaker in the hot, hot, hot real estate market of the Seattle metropolitan area. Finding a slump in his mood and a slow in his lunch hour between daily showings, Steve begins calling in to a popular local radio show on KACL for an emotional pick-me-up with radio personality and psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane.

At first Steve is just a passive listener, but after hearing first hand during his lengthy commutes, how this soothsaying guru can calm and put the pep back in his caller's days Steve gives him a call.

"I dunno Doc, I just don't have that spark anymore..." He sighs into his cellular phone from the driver's seat of his year-model Buick. "Y'know what I mean? Like, it felt like everything was in my grasp and now it's just..." He grumbled in frustration.

The psychiatrist chuckled warmly through the phone line, "well Steve, a lot can change a man over time. When would you say you last felt that spark?"

Steve looked out the car window, caramel eyes reflecting upon the Puget Sound but his mind seeing the soft rolling hills and shallow valleys of central Indiana. Thoughts settling over gentle golden curls waving in the breeze.

"Steve? Are you still with us?" The radio host coaxed.

Steve opened his eyes, the vision fading from view. "Yeah. I'm here..."

Steve progressively becomes a regular call-in. Sharing more overtime about how he left behind 'a special someone' and how he regrets and second guesses so much about his life because of it. Thinking "if only I'd stayed. If only I'd told them how much they really meant to me". Feeling that his life really doesn't amount to much because of the decisions he made, or didn't... in the past. The radio host's producer, Roz, begins an unofficial fan club for Steve. Cheering him on, and giving him small pep talks each time he is in the call queue to talk with Dr. Crane. "Hey kid, how's it going today? How'd that date go? She sounded real nice! Things'll look up!"

Approximately a year later, Billy moves to Seattle picking up a transfer from his employer, hoping that working for the company's flagship will help him climb the pay scale faster. And leave the local union politicking and small-town, big-ego dickwads in his rearview mirror.

Things have improved somewhat for Billy over the years but it's still not great, and he seeks the services of a local psychiatrist, Dr. Niles Crane. Billy works with Dr. Crane to unpack and explore how his past experiences may have influenced his "current level of functioning", or so Dr. Crane says. They do a lot of daydreaming, picturing, and hypothetical scenarios that Billy sometimes despises and other times finds amusing. He also finds Dr. Crane's neurotic disposition rather endearing and thus decides to remain a loyal patient for the time being.

Cut to Billy's third month living in Seattle when it happens. He suffers a major setback. Calling Dr. Crane's emergency number in a panic. He can't breathe, he's hyperventilating and speaking so frantically that Dr. Crane can hardly understand him.

"Billy, you sound so terribly upset. I know that we discussed rather hefty themes in session this week. What's going on?" Dr. Crane's chittery voice spoke, encompassing the gravity of the moment.

"Him..." Billy gulped down air, his throat dry and lungs burning. "I saw him today. He was never supposed to be here." Billy moaned in distress.

"Take a breath Billy, and one, two, three, four, five. Out." His psychiatrist prompted him. "This is highly unusual indeed. I can understand now why you are so concerned." The sound of papers rustled on the other end of the phone. "Billy, would you like to come in sooner?"

A shaken exhale, "Yes."

Meanwhile somewhere else in Seattle Steve is the brightest he's been in years. He practically feels like he could walk on air. He has to share this, so he calls in.

"Doc the most amazing thing has happened!" Steve is beaming ear to ear. "Well, Steve it certainly sounds stupendous with that tone! Let's hear the good news!" His radio therapist encourages.

"I saw them!" Steve gushes. "Them! The special someone I told you about. They're here in Seattle. Now's my chance! I gotta tell them!" Dr. Crane smiles, "Ah, serendipity... Steve, you must take her while she is still yours."

Steve didn't quite understand the doctor's point but he appreciated the sentiment. "Thanks, Doc. Y'know I'm gonna look 'em up. Take them to a nice dinner. Make things right this time." Dr. Crane clapped his hands together, "Steve that's a lovely idea! And might I be so bold as to suggest that you consider taking your special someone to La Belle Gourmande? The ambiance is divine... and the prices aren't half bad either."

Two nights later Steve was sitting at the restaurant, nervously drumming his fingers on the table, his eyes flitting up every time a person walked by. He was tense, feeling suffocated in the crispest white button down he owned. Fidgeting with undoing the second button from the top and then redoing it. He couldn't afford to screw this up, the phone call had already been botched.

It took some effort, randomly dialing the number of a familiar name in the Seattle area, but luckily not many people had the same name as his 'special someone'. When their voice came over the line and Steve heard it for the first time in nearly a decade, he choked. Couldn't even utter a "hello". "Who's this? Fucking answer or I'm hanging up." In an all out rush Steve replied.

"-lo!'s Steve! youwannagetdinner ...'n catch up?" he rushed out in a frazzle.

The other end of the line was silent for a beat, the tension broken with a soft chuff.

"Ketchup?" the voice asked bemused, followed by another pause. "Where?"

Squinting at his messily scrawled note taped to the cabinet, Steve replied, "this place owned by some Belle lady. Comes highly recommended."

There was a pause. "Steve... this can't be -"

"Please come," Steve begged.

As Steve waits for his 'special someone' to show, a certain radio personality ducks into a corner booth and picks up a menu, Dr. Frasier Crane. He has become so invested in his caller's well-being that he has come to the restaurant to watch Steve from afar. To root for him, and watch his little bird spread its wings and fly. Or so it would seem.

"Frasier? What on earth are you doing here?" Dr. Crane looks up from his crooning over his 'patient', his eyes panic-stricken and caught. "Niles?" His brother, the younger Dr. Crane is also here.

Frasier's eyes dart to the menu for a saving excuse, "It's the soup du jour Niles," he deflects craftily, "everyone knows the Gourmande has the best Soupe au Pistou on the western seaboard." Niles rolls his eyes and follows Frasier's worried gaze over to the young man at a nearby table. "That may be true Frasier, but I believe you are here for more than just soup." Frasier sniffs indignantly about to snap out a reply when Niles hastily takes up the opposite seat in his booth and hides his face behind a menu.

Frasier cranks an eyebrow high and looks at his brother accusingly. "And pray tell what fare Provençal brought you to dine here?" he moons sarcastically. Niles peers over the edge of his menu at the other table, as a blonde man arrives. Frasier gasps dramatically and shields himself behind his menu as well.

"Mouchard!" Frasier hisses at his brother treacherously. Niles looks back at him unamused and replies, "says the snoop, snooping." They exchange glares and peek over their menus to watch the scene unfold.

Steve abruptly bumps the table, standing up quickly the minute he sees them. Him. The blonde. He can't help but smile, his chest is aching, fully flooded with a torrent of emotions.

"I don't understand," Frasier says in confusion, looking at Niles and then back over the menu. Niles looks over his menu, eyebrow cocked, "What?" "He talked as if... well... his 'special someone' was..." Frasier was fumbling uncomfortably with his words and reasoning. "You thought Billy was a woman?" Niles completed. Frasier winced, "Steve never said he loved a man. I just assumed..."

They both peered over again. "Assumptions get us nowhere Frasier. They leave us to speak for others in spaces we don't know. Only they know their truth." Frasier nodded slowly, the information sinking in. "Too right you are Niles. I was wrong to presume Steve's path to a whole self was like my own."

Billy sat down, followed by Steve, he seemed anxious, his eyes wandering all over the room, causing the two psychiatrists to duck and cower several times, lest they be discovered.

Steve called over a waiter and they ordered drinks. As the night began to unfold a certain ease settled over the pair like a familiar blanket, warm and comforting. Softly exchanged touches of hands, and lingering smiles arrived in greater frequency than the refillable bread basket, with feet sliding across one another under the tablecloth and resting calf-to-calf.

"Well Frasier, I think our worst fears have been allayed." Niles injected into the hour. "We weren't needed." Frasier smiled proudly, "I think you're right Niles. Would you care for un repas de fin de nuit?" Niles rose from the table, "Après-vous."

As the pair of brothers exited the restaurant Billy and Steve looked up, "Who do you think those guys were?" Steve asked curiously, "They were kinda loud. Seemed really interested in us..." Billy sighed, dropping his fork to his plate, "The twiggy one was my shrink. No fuckin clue who the other guy was though."

Steve looked at Billy mildly concerned, "You have a shrink?" Billy nodded wiping his mouth with the napkin. "Yeah, Dr. Crane." Steve watched the pair as they waited for the valet to bring their car. "The Dr. Crane that has the radio show?" Billy shook his head, "No that's his brother..."

Steve slumped in his seat taking a long drink from his glass, as Billy swiped the final bite of gateau.

#i got carried away (again)#this got long quick...#jess does harringrove mental health style #harringrove au #harringrove crossover #harringrove #billy x steve #my two favorite disaster straights helping #my two favorite boys #this was an entirely necessary and self indulgent piece #tw mental health themes #tw panic attack #tw mental health #i also recognize that your therapist would not follow you on a date #but frasier and niles would bc they are cringefail and overly involved

50 notes · View notes

aqalaxywithinher · 1 year

Text

evil thoughts🐱

#photos taken seconds before disaster #cats #christmas #photography #catasters #cats on tumblr #gallery #mine #a week before christmas and i only just put up my tree 🙃#<picture of good mental health👍🏼#image described #<am really bad at this welp #black cats #baer #catblr

138 notes · View notes

dirtytransmasc · 9 months

Text

I love how my mental health is literally kept in check by a cat.

she get mad when my rooms messy and we can't cuddle in bed. she goes out on affection strikes if I start sleeping in another room to avoid the mess. my cat will guilt trip me into keeping my room clean. what is my life?

#im grateful #but damn #mental health #the #AuDhd #and (mild) depression/anxiety #disaster room is beast I cant quite tame #but my cat forces me to shove it back in its cage every now and fhen #cats

21 notes · View notes

simonstamenovic · 11 months

Text

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

#puts this in my drafts to publish at atime to cause maximum damage to my #social circle and mental health bc i LOVE conflict and pain #< A JOKE lmao this has been causing me severe distress for ages so whatever unfollow me idc #outgoing transmission #idk when im gonna publish this ive been going back n forth w my therapist a lot #rhis maybbe repetitive im just uhh tired and have been legitimately driving myself crazy overthis for ages #bc honestly like i didnt exist as a person until age 14 at least and that person #wasnt... me. isn't me they dont exist to me anymore and im not sure #the one before 19 existed either its all fractured #is that trauma?? or is it something else. does that make me endogenic to you?? i really dont know or understand #you can decide for yourself. but im not comfortable saying either way.#i barely feel comfortable existing. i dont exist? as i type this 'i' is wrong but nothing else fits so far #we could go for we and we have befkre bht so far its so nonexistent whats the opposite of i #nothing...? [ ]#some blank. the dilemma is that nothing is real.#these tags are not. genuinly i am fake.#this will get published sometime in a haze and this body will wake up to a disaster.#not enough bridges burned i guess. sure.#back 2 sleep dont send me asks abt this jst block if ur gonna block

36 notes · View notes

datamodel-of-disaster · 4 months

Text

Left my tablet at my mom’s.

AKA: I cannot sleep I must scroll on my phone forever I cannot relax or do anything else because My Tablet Is Not Where It Should Be. And if I think too long about that I will scream.

Sometimes I think I’m reasonably ok with change and sudden disruptions and then I lose access to a device I rely on (phone, tablet, bike) and it’s a ticket straight into suicidal ideation meltdown town.

Sometimes I feel like I put all of the stress of leading a normal life onto a handful of linchpin items - and I can handle anything as long as I have those, but if anything happens to them it costs superhuman effort to not go full R-word and start banging my head on the floor. I wish I was kidding but I’m not.

Fuck, why am I such a train wreck?

#disaster thoughts #being born probably voided the warranty on my shitty brain #mental health #neurodivergent

13 notes · View notes

betasuppe · 1 year

Text

There's something very special when a really cool character who everyone is incredibly impressed by [or justifiably terrified of lol] looks at an absolute disaster of a person - who's mental &/or physical health is trash, who really has no good fortune, never succeeded in much or anything at all, & isn't special by any means - & the cool ass character is like "THAT ONE. That's the one I want♡"

#im cliche #what can i say #& for my latest pairing #here's flint who's in decent mental health #but physical health is absolute garbage poor guy & he's just kinda like a lil side character in the scheme of things #but nooooo #t/ron / rinz looks at him & goes straight up heart eyes mode like #thATS THE USER I WOULD DIE FOR YES♡#again #cliche #i KNO #& cant help it but think #im a huge fuck up & lameo disaster #but if someone could still see aome good in me?#*sighs hopelessly*

21 notes · View notes

lucienne-thee-librarian · 5 months

Text

Just saw Godzilla Minus One last night, having an Extremely Normal One about it. Art isn't dead after all

#go see it guys if you can I swear to god #tho there are a couple scenes which if you have severe thalasophobia Mayne....maybe don't or at least take a bathroom break then #Because for me thats never been an issue but FUCK I was biting my own hand in the theater #bouncing in my seat I was so tense because the suspense was AWFUL it was so good #it is. Not what I expected because I knew literally nothing about it besides 'its a godzilla movie' and my friend said it was good. I went #to see it because I'm a monster movie fan and wanted to meet up with a friend over movies and dinner and nothing else I give even one rats #ass about besides the color purple is out rn #so it shot the MOON over my expectations which were...me going in totally blind #the score is haunting the cast is goddamn incredible so is the cinematography and it has SO much to say allegorically #not just about the roots of the franchise aka the horrors of nuclear power #but about the effects of war and mental health stigma and the power of love and community and its a very humanizing film #unlike some other monster/disaster movies and. Ahhh #you will care so much about the humans in this movie

6 notes · View notes

andrasta14 · 8 months

Text

Them: So after 20 years of off and again therapy, what would you say was the most useful thing you got out of it?

Me: *thinking* This.

Them: A brain-shaped stress ball?? Really???

Me: *nods emphatically* Really...truly, madly, deeply. *lmao*

Them: ..... O.o

Me: *squishes contently away at my brain* I also learned to get used to people thinking I'm weird. But that I taught myself. *squish squish squish*

#my teenaged self liked that brain so much the hospital psychiatrist gave it to me and I've had it ever since 😅😂#my random ramblings #mental health #self care #self love #therapy #...and enough procrastination...back to trying to clean my disaster of an apartment #didn't I just do this two weeks ago? whyyyyyy can't stuff just stay clean???? 😭😭😭

11 notes · View notes

just-an-enby-lemon · 8 months

Text

I get Jack you're repressed and depressed now quit your job and stop being a dick.

#sad repressed bi boy keeps being being mean to his pacients #renfield is my baby and any attack to him is personal #victorian prick #jack seward #he is my favorite characther? hell no #but I'm studying him like he does reinfield #because he is unwell and interesting as heck and also a disaster and is fun #except he is being an ableist dick and i'm a casual media analyst #dracula #also is amazing how seward almost almost gets to theorizing about sazonal depression a real thing that they didn't really knew at the time #he almost almost gets it and instead goes to magic sun and more ableistic bs #also jack is genuinally a good general practicioner and surgeon specially for his time #but instead he is fucking people up and honestly also ruining his own mental health at an asylum #he could be saving numerous lifes and instead he is making everyone's lifes around his work place including his worse #please seward just fucking quit #he is a shit neurologist a shittier psychiatrist and I don't even consider him a psychologist just quit man please go do surgeries and exams

10 notes · View notes

tierra-paldeana · 27 days

Text

// i haven't been able to listen to the new rika va but rest assured i am excited and i've been saving up gems to pull for her

the timing couldn't have been worse tho cause i'm struggling w a depression that seems to get more out of control every day,, so even tho i want to let myself go and scream abt it, my brain is currently in cortisol land and i hate it gnvkgjjhh

#( ooc );#neg cw #( my mental health's a disaster i hate it here )

2 notes · View notes

impossible-rat-babies · 11 months

Text

actually no yeah I’m still bothered by The Things but several Other Things Aren’t Helping

#socializing. bad #I had an alcohol beverage. not great #slept bad last night due to the heat. will sleep not great due to heat #I miss my cat and dog and partner and my box fan #me crying I miss my wife tails #I miss 14 #I’ve been unfocused due to sleepy #cannot get art done. anxious about parents seeing art stuff #the neurodivergencies are winning #oh it’s also 1am. so the night time mental illness is just. Lurking #the issue w my partner remains and I’m glad I sent them another message #because boy Howdy #it’s gonna be one night of Uncomfortable and then I’ll just. readjust back to normal by tomorrow or the next day #reset will hit in 14 and I’ll have Tasks to Accomplish in Video Game #i am going to clean my bathroom tomorrow or the next day. i will win the routine #I will Manage My Mental Health #I’m just gonna be a weepy disaster for a second #owen talks

10 notes · View notes

becca-is-not-well · 1 year

Text

I'm Becca (as you probably figured out) and my friend said I should make a fanfic Tumblr cuz I wrote some for them.

I'll probably be writing mostly xreader fics, whether platonic or romantic. I will write smut, but preferably nothing too vanilla. I am REALLY exposing myself here. NOTHING NON CON.

This is the only time I'll be fully serious: If I write about heavy subjects (depression, anxiety, SH, etc.), it is simply to let people know they aren't alone and to help them through it. I am not in any way romanticizing it. As someone who has been through all three examples and much more, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've written things for myself about my comfort characters helping me through shit and it genuinely helped me so much, I would love to do that for someone else.

If you know me in real life... no you don't.

All are platonic OR romantic unless specified otherwise

Who I plan on writing for:

Harry potter:

Golden age

Marauders (especially Sirius my beloved)

Fair warning I HATE Snape his "redemption arc" was BULLSHIT

Good omens:

(Said friend got me hooked)

Aziraphale (platonic)

Crowley (platonic)

Aziraphale & Crowley (ineffable husband's with platonic reader)

Riverdale:

(This is lowkey embarrassing oml)

Sweet Pea

Veronica lodge (love her)

Betty Cooper (PLS RAIL ME)

Jughead Jones (I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.)

Sandman:

My friend got me even more obsessed with this holy heck

Morpheus (my skrunkly baby I love him sm)

Death

Desire (is it getting hot in here??)

Matthew(ONLY PLATONIC WHY WOULD WANT ANYTHING ELSE WITH A LITERAL BIRD THE FUCK)

Lucienne (I need a hug from her)

Hob Gadling

Lab Rats:

(Why is this also embarrassing kskeidhxb)

Chase Davenport (been in love with him for forever)

Adam Davenport

Bree Davenport

The Rookie:

(Is this niche??)

Tim Bradford

Lucy Chen

John Nolan

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester (my baby)

Dean Winchester

Castiel (not my cup of tea but I see it)

Twilight:

Jacob Black

Carlisle Cullen (i love DILFs)

Charlie Swan (again. DILF.)

Jasper Cullen (yes. As in the 👁👄👁 mf)

Emmet Cullen

Rosalie Cullen

Big Time Rush:

(Half of these things feel like a confession)

Logan (LOML)

James

Kendall

Carlos (underrated)

Wizards of Waverly Place

(WHY AM I SO EMBARASSED ABT SO MANY OF THESE)

Justin Russo

Alex russo

Harper Finkle

Teen Wolf

Stiles Stilinski

Scott McCall

Isaac Lahey (UNDERRATED)

Derek Hale

Malia Tate

Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

Haymitch Abernathy (I said what I said he's hot fr)

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn (not the Canon mf tho he sucks ass)

Other random people:

Billy Russo (punisher)

Caspian (Narnia)

(I fucking love Ben Barnes)

The Darkling (Shadow and Bone)

Alina Starkov (Shadow and Bone)

Spencer Reid (criminal minds) (yes im one of those. Are u surprised?)

Legolas (bAbYy!!) (That's an inside joke)(LOTR/Hobbit)

Clark Kent (smallville)

Mac (MacGyver reboot)

I also like writing poetic type stuff so let me know if u want me to post some of that lol

17 notes · View notes