Someone told me you’re never gonna be 100% happy anyway. So what are we here for? Heartbreaks and paying the rent and distracting yourself with hobbies 2 hours a week to forget you’d rather be d3ad?

Coming Home (C.E)

Chris Evans Fanfiction (Fanfiction Masterlist)

Summary: dad!Chris Evans. Chris comes home to his twins fighting and he scolds them. But he also takes care of their wounds with you and then you all go out to eat ice cream and have a family day.

Warnings: None. Minimum angst but fluff all the way.

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"Where are the kids?" Your husband came and sat right next to you on the couch. It was a shock to him when he didn't see his two little munchkins clinging to his legs the moment he entered the house. It has been kind of their routine from the moment they could walk on their little two legs.

“They are busy playing in their play room. Why are you not happy about it?” You knew that after a full day of shooting, coming home to two energetic kids was tiring and stressful. So you were shocked when he wasn’t glad to have a moment of peace by himself.

“Well, they are a part of my routine now. It feels weird not having them jumping around me.” The three year olds have always been more attached to Chris than you. Initially, you were a little jealous that the twins focused all their attention on your husband but now you were glad. Having a piece of quiet while he handled the children was pretty awesome.

You both had pretty successful careers and when the twins came into your lives, you both decided that you would handle it all together. In the start, each one of your married girlfriend told you that you had to quit your job as the marketing head because being a mom was a full time job. You were scared and when you shared your concerns with Chris, he consoled you and told you that you would both do it all. Having successful careers while being good parents.

“Just spend sometime with me while Emma and Jason are distracted.” Pouring him a glass of wine, you leaned in to him with your head on his shoulder.

“That is a good way to spend my evening. How was your day, sweetheart?”

“It was hell. My boss gave me a project to complete with a bizarre timeline and when I couldn’t complete it on time. He just took it all out on me in front of my colleague.” Today was humiliating for you and you couldn’t wait to get home, drink a nice glass of wine and relax. “Hated it, babe. How about you?

“Well, my co star couldn’t get her part right so we had to do the same scene five times. We are behind on shooting now and I have to get up early tomorrow morning so that we can catch up to the schedule.” Sighing, he took a long sip of the red liquid and felt his muscles relaxing.

There was a moment of silence that enveloped the room and you just basked in it. “A crappy day for us both.”

“Indeed. Let’s do something exciting then.” He kissed you and just when things were about to get heated, a piercing scream interrupted the moment.

“What-What is happening?” He was still in a haze and couldn’t properly interpret anything.

“It looks like your kids are fighting again.”

“Are you going to handle them?”

“Oh no!” Laughing at his incredulous request, you picked up your glass again. “You wanted to spend time with them so go on.”

Chris got up from the couch and went upstairs. Emma and Jason love each other to death but they have been fighting from the womb. Emma is the stubborn one and while, Jason backs out most of the time. Sometimes, he retaliates and it turns real bad, real fast. They were pretty hot headed, just like you.

“What is happening here?” The dad mode was fully in place when he saw his little girl sitting on the floor with hands pressed to a bloody forehead and his little boy trying to console her.

“She pushed me and then I pushed her. Not my fault. But she hurt, daddy.” The panic in Jason’s eyes was evident.

“(Y/N)! Come here, right now!” You scrambled to your feet as soon as Chris’s voice boomed across the living room. “You never hurt your sister, Jason. This is not alright.” The stern voice was new for Chris but the situation required it.

“But, daddy-”

“No excuses, Mister. Now, apologise to your sister and no toys for you for the whole week.” He got in to action with the first aid kit that he took out of their walk in closet. Emma was still crying her lungs out even when Chris tried to console her. She was not letting him touch the wound and was squirming uncontrollably in his lap.

“Daddy, why you always bla- blame me? Hate you.” Hiccuping, he stuttered on the big words and then stomped out of the room. You tried to stop your son but he just ran past you.

“What is- Oh my god!” The blood was now soaking up your little girl’s shirt and she still wouldn’t let Chris touch the wound.

The one thing that your kids inherited from your husband was the fear of blood and stitches. The small three year old knew that a boo boo that hurts really bad will lead to stitches. You knew how to handle all three of your babies in situation like these. Taking Emma from your husband, you hugged her lightly.

“Bubba, I need to look at your boo boo and then you can have the Elsa bandage.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” When she removed her chubby, little hand, you were relieved that the cut was not big or deep. A bandage would just do the trick. You softly hummed a tune in her ears while you applied an antiseptic to the wound and then the band aid. She had tears streaming down her face and she was sniffling quietly. Chris took her from you when you were done and gently rocked her in his arms. He always loved it when both your children seeked comfort in you. It reminded him of how lucky he was to have you. “Where did Jason go?”

“I scolded his regarding this and he threw a tantrum.” When Emma heard Jason’s name, she further curled herself into his chest.

“Give her to me.” Raising her face by holding her chin, you sternly asked her. “Tell me what happened, young lady?”

With a guilty tone, she told you both that she was the one who pushed Jason first. They were both playing with the doll house that Chris bought Emma as her third birthday present. Jason wanted to add his toy cars to the doll house but she won’t allow it. She pushed him first and he hit his wrist on the small coffee table but then he pushed her back. When she fell back, she hit her head on the side of the wooden house.

“You are going to apologise to him, Emma. I told you that this much anger is not alright, bubba.” Chris took her to the twin’s room that had two different themes running through it. Emma was never a fan of the color pink so she went with purple and Jason really loved yellow, so he got that. The room looked like a clown’s den but Chris was never the one to deny his children’s requests. They had his whole heart well, except you.

“Jace, Emma would like to say something to you.” Setting her on her feet, she went towards his elder brother by barely three minutes.

“I am sorry, Jacey. Never should have pushed you. Kiss your boo boo to make up?” He nodded gently when his sister climbed in to the body. Extending the bruised wrist, Emma held it in her hands and lightly pecked on it. Meanwhile, you got a numbing cream for Jason and you stopped in the doorway with Chris and watched their interaction. They were your and Chris’s two little bundle of joys and you both couldn’t get enough.

“I am sorry that I yelled at you, baby. You two will not have your toys for a week. But who wants ice cream right now?” They both jumped at the mention of their favorite treat.

Chris had a way with the children. He completed all their wishes from eating ice cream as dinner or buying the most expensive toys for them. Making them happy was his primary job and he fulfilled it with great joy. However, he knew when to step up. He knew when to tell them no because he didn’t want his children to be some spoiled brats. He knew how to mediate and that was one of the many thing that you loved about him.

“I will get your jackets while daddy will help you with your shoes.” Going downstairs, you placed Dodger’s food in his bowl because you were going to be out for sometime. Chris always turns a simple outing to a full blown family day. A walk in the park, dinner at a high end restaurant and then shopping at the mall.

“Let’s go.” He buckled both the kids in their respective booster seats and made sure that they both had their preferred stuff toys. God knows, if they didn’t have them on their car ride.

The ice cream place on the fifth avenue was your favorite because it was where Chris took you on your first date. Both the children went for chocolate ice creams and Chris cleaned them up after they were done anything. It was so wholesome to watch him perform his dad duties.

“Then Oliver tried to eat dirt and the teacher gave him a time out.” You never understood why your son was friends with that boy because all he ever cared about was dirt.

“That’s why I hate boys. They are dirty.”

“That’s right, bubba. They are all dirty and disgusting. You stay away from all of them.” Gently nudging him with your shoulders, you playfully scoffed at him. He was sometimes very protective of his children.

“Ollie said girls also have icky germs.”

“Yes. You also stay away from them.” Chris was full on laughing at the situation right now because both the kids were in some serious thoughts.

“Okay dadda.” They both started skipping on the side walk and already started bickering about who was their dad’s favorite. He took you in his arms and kissed you on the forehead.

“Thank you for all this, babe. I love you.” He was truly thankful for you and for everything that you brought in his life.

“I love you too. Now let’s buckle them in before they start pushing each other again.”

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: Dad Chris Evans is a dream so I wanted to write a little blurb related to this idea. Hope you guys enjoyed it. You guys can send in requests but I will get to them a little bit later because I am focusing on my drafts right now. Tell me if you guys want to be added to the tag list.

Taglist: @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

New Start - Chapter 3 (Modern Ivar x Reader)

Chapter 3 : The dinner

1 month later...

You've been working at Ragnar & Sons Corporation for a month now and everything is going very well. Hvitserk and Ubbe have become more than colleagues, they are also your friends. There is a strong respect between you. Hvitserk stopped flirting with you a few weeks ago. Ubbe is like a big brother to you, he takes care of you, he is very attentive to your personal and professional needs.

Björn and Sigurd are also part of your "Lothbrock" circle of friends. But they remain more independent than the others. Sigurd works in the family company but he has another activity outside the company: music. He started a band with friends. Björn is the eldest, he has a wife and children, he is ready to succeed his father when the time comes. He is lonelier than his younger brothers and is closer to his mother, Lagertha. You knew that Ragnar had cheated on her with the mother of the other four Lothbrocks, but family stories are always complicated so you didn't want to ask too many questions.

And Ivar ... Ivar, just like himself, you have met him in meetings and you only talk to him occasionally when you have to get him to sign contracts or other administrative papers. You haven't spoken about the elevator incident in all this time. Ivar was always condescending to you. You made sure that you didn't end up alone with him in a room because you were more than embarrassed by what happened despite the fact that the scene kept popping into your head. Sometimes you would stare into the void and think back to the pulpy lips that crashed into yours that night. The warmth of her body toning up against yours...

It's Friday, just a few more hours of effort before a good weekend of well-deserved rest. You arrive at the office with three lattes, you enter the room, your roommates have already arrived. In the end, you haven't moved into the office you were meant to move into, because the agreement with Hvitserk and Ubbe is more than perfect, finding yourself alone in an office depresses you in advance. They have gladly agreed to let you stay with them. You put a sweet kiss on their cheek and give them their morning drink. They're sitting behind their computer, already getting down to business. You imitate them, open your laptop and start writing a report, which you must give to Ivar by the end of the day. Your heart is tightened when you think her beautiful blue eyes are going to turn to you, that you'll have to go to her office alone. But your thoughts are interrupted when Hvitserk calls you.

"Y/N? What are you thinking about? ».

"Oh nothing, I... I was just thinking about the weekend," you say shyly. You feel your cheeks slightly warm, you hope they don't notice.

"Do you have plans? "Ubbe asked with his little smile that always makes you smile,

"Well no, I was just thinking that I'm going to sit on my couch, watching movies... or series while enjoying a good pizza... or sushi" you reply with amusement.

"Very good program, if only we could do the same", Hvtiserk continued with a small pout.

"Ragnar has been back for a few days and tomorrow evening Mother is organizing a dinner for Father's return, would you like to join us? »

"It's a great idea! "shouted Hvitserk, he got up from his chair to come to your office, knelt down with his hands joined together under Ubbe's amused look, "Please say yes! You will know Mother and Father. How can you refuse this beautiful face and these beautiful green eyes? But if it's a family dinner, Ivar will be there. You're doing a flip-flop, and having Ivar with you at her parents' house may not be a good idea. You hesitate for a long time, the brothers are impatient to know your answer but you end up accepting... for them.

The end of the day came quickly, you closed your report, printed it, and went to Ivar's office for validation. You are in front of his office door, knocking discreetly. "You knock discreetly. Come on in! "Ivar shouted through the piece of wood that separates you. You enter, carefully closing the door behind you. "I've come to sign my file for you, I've finished the report. If you validate it, we can send it tonight. "Put that there," he replies with a head movement to show the corner of his desk. You take it back. "Ivar, I wouldn't want to insist..." "Pardon? Are you trying to give me an order? "he whistles between his teeth, his eyes widened. "No, far be it from me, but this is a big file, the sooner it is finalized the sooner we can sign an agreement. "You lowered your head and told yourself that you had said too much while waiting for the titan's wrath. "Do you know who I am? I am YOUR boss! I decide when I have to sign the fucking papers! OKAY?! Now get out! "he shouted these words. You don't insist, it's no use, you turn around and walk out of his office. Maybe going to the Lothbrock dinner isn't such a good idea after all. But you promised the boys you would come. You sigh and go back to your office, Hvitserk realizes something is wrong. "Is everything all right Y/N? » "Yes, yes, it's okay, your brother again, who yelled at me...". Ubbe and Hvitserk look at each other, they manage to understand him without talking to each other. The end of the day was silent between the three of you. You leave the office, wait for your Uber in front of the building, Ubbe and Hvitserk wave goodbye, you answer them with a little smile and a wave.

You arrive at home, you swing your Louboutin across the room, your feet make you suffer at the end of the day. You take a hot shower to relax. You put on your white bathrobe, tie your belt and arrange your wet hair in a bun and fall asleep on your couch. You wake up with your head loose, your hair in a mess, still in your bathrobe. You fell asleep without realizing it, but at the same time it's normal given how tired you've been this week. You receive a text message from Hvitserk asking you if you are still ok for tonight, you answer that yes you will be there by 7pm as planned.

It's 6:30 pm and you are still not dressed. Hair and make-up yes but still with your towel tied around your chest with your underwear underneath. You hesitate between two outfits: sexy girl with a short black dress with a light neckline or casual girl with flared pants and a white lace top? Your heart swings... You're opting for the dress after all you felt comfortable enough with boys to dare this kind of outfit and it's been so long since you've worn a dress.

Your Uber has just arrived in front of your house, you jump in your Louboutin pumps and get in the car. After a journey of about thirty minutes you arrive in front of the Lothbrock Manor. A sumptuous dwelling dating from the 50's, there are beautiful exposed wood panelling on the outside with ivy growing along the beautiful walls. You go up the driveway of the house to a large oak door with wonderful Viking motifs carved on it. You don't even have time to knock when Hvitserk opens the door, he has heard your Uber arrive, he throws himself on you and takes you in his arms.

"Y/N! You came, that's great! Come in, I'll introduce you to Father! "There were two benches: on the first one sat Aslaug, Sigurd and Ubbe and on the second one there is a couple you don't know and of course Ivar. As for Ragnar, he is leaning against the fireplace that dominates the room, he tells his adventures in England. All eyes rose to you and Hvitserk as you entered the living room, all but one pair of eyes: Ivar's eyes remain fixed on the fire that is slowly burning in the fireplace.

"My dear Y/N! "exclaims Aslaug as she stands up and takes you in her arms, "I am so happy to finally meet you, the boys have told me a lot about you".

"Thank you Madam, I am delighted to meet you too" you answer politely.

"Please, you can call me Aslaug, ma'am, it's nice when you're sixty," she replies with a wink. The boys stand up to greet you in turn, complimenting you on your evening dress, which obviously does not leave them indifferent, but you are used to them.

Ivar still hasn't looked at you, he sits with his back to you. Ubbe takes your hand and takes you to Ragnar "Y/N, I introduce you to our father, Father this is Y/N, our colleague and friend".

"Finally, I put a face to this name, delighted Y/N, I am Ragnar. So you are my new employee and you have won the hearts of our collaborators and you have won the hearts of my sons. "he says cheerfully.

"I am delighted to meet you Mr. Lothbrock, I am very lucky to work for you, this is really a great opportunity for me.

Ragnar smiles "Come on, I'll introduce you to my oldest friend and his wife, Floki, Helga, this is Y/N, my newest recruit, well, Ivar hired her but she works for me" he says laughing. The couple gets up, Helga hugs you " Hello Y/N, I'm happy to meet you, as Aslaug said, the boys talk a lot about you ", you feel your cheeks blush.

"If I didn't know them so well I would say that they have a crush on you," Floki said, "Nice to meet you, I am Floki, friend and associate of Ragnar, you will have the chance to work with me sometimes.

"Nice to meet you too, I hope I won't disappoint you" you say shyly looking at Ragnar and Floki.

You move away from them and apologize, you walk cautiously towards Ivar who has not moved since your arrival " Hello Ivar, how are you? "he sighed before raising his head.

"I'm fi... fine", he finds your eyes, his face changes, he seems to be more soothed.

"Your parents are really very nice, Ivar."

"You are sublime tonight", he looks at you with envy, his eyes wrinkle slightly and his face closes. You know that from that moment on you will not be able to have anything more from him.

Dinner goes very well, everyone is laughing, you are sitting between Hvitserk and Sigurd. Sigurd talks to you about his music, about the concerts he plans to schedule when he and his band are up and running.  Hvitserk teases him by telling him that he bores you with his music. You are laughing between the two brothers bickering. Ubbe discusses business with Floki and Ragnar, Aslaug and Helga talk about cooking, and then there's Ivar at the end of the table who doesn't let go of his teasing brothers. The jealousy that emanates from him is palpable. You have a sudden urge to go to the bathroom, you ask Hvitserk where you can find one in the house, "Go to the first floor, first door on the right, you will find a bathroom". You thank him and apologize when you leave the table.

You go up the varnished wooden stairs, you arrive on the first floor, a long corridor is created in front of you, you see a half-open door, curiosity takes over, you decide to enter. You discover a room, decorated rather soberly with a library full of books of novels on one side and books on business strategy courses on the other. You walk to the desk next to the window overlooking a large garden, there is a camera, an Ipod and a Mac on it. You look at the pictures hanging above the desk, you see a beautiful blonde, smiling, she is really beautiful next to her is Ivar. You can't believe it, Ivar is smiling, he looks...happy. Never in a month have you seen him smiling as much as in this picture. You are hypnotized by his smile, his happy face that you can't hear that someone has entered the room.

"I'm not disturbing you ! ». It's Ivar he's furious, you can feel it in his voice. You turn around to face him.

"Oh I'm sorry Ivar, I...I saw that the door was open and...", you're terrified of being fired, and his anger is coming at you.

"And that gave you permission to enter without being invited, didn't it? »

"Ivar, I'm really sorry, I'm going to leave"

"NO!", his tone makes you jump on the spot, "What did you want to find out when you came in here, huh?! »

"Nothing, I swear to you Ivar! I'm sorry I shouldn't have come back", you lower your head regretting your mistake, you overwhelm your stupid curiosity. If there was a room you shouldn't have gone into, it was Ivar's room.

He continues to preach to you, "You wanted to know what little Ivar was like? If he had friends, girlfriends? Did he?!  You wonder who could love this being with destroyed legs? "He comes closer to you, you hear the click of his crutch. He's only a few centimeters away from you. You dare to speak out again, "Ivar, can you believe me, please, I didn't want to be too indiscreet when I came into your room".

"My teenager's room... more precisely" he whistled between his teeth, "I'm not blind, I see you with my brothers, laughing...".

Surprise, you chain " Yes we get along well, I like them, they are nice ".

"What about me? Do you like me? " he asks with a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

"I don't know you as well as you know your brothers, Ivar, you seem... special, but not in a bad way, you are mysterious... and I like that", you gently caress his hand.

Ivar quickly and firmly passes his hand behind your neck, he crushes his lips against yours. You kiss him back, your body is on fire from the inside, your stomach is boiling, you feel palpitations in your belly. His tongue mixes with yours, he pushes you to his desk, his body crashes against yours. He passes his other hand under the hem of your dress to caress your hip. He brings his kiss down to your neck. You feel his tongue travel a soft path from your mouth to your collarbone, you groan under his caresses. Suddenly, he stops, looking at you with a slight perversion.

"I think we have to go back or else my brothers will come looking for us.”

You couldn't even find words to nod, you followed Ivar to the table, pretending to get lost. The dinner ended quietly, it was time for you to go home, you thanked Aslaug for his excellent food. Hvitserk insists on dropping you off at home, but you have already paid your Uber in advance. You go back to your apartment, thinking about the best kiss of your life, have a beer in your fridge and settle down on your couch, turn on the TV, there's no way you can sleep now, your mind is too boiling. Someone rings your doorbell, strange because you're not expecting anyone, especially at this hour. You open the door and you find... Ivar...

Oh no, the night is going to be complicated...

@youbloodymadgenius​ @therealcalicali​ @peaceisadirtyword​ @zuxiezendler​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @vikingsbifrost​ @vikings-imagine​ @hvitserkmarcosource​

Meeting his parents (m)

"Oh yes that is good." Your bodies were tightly together. Sweat covered your bodies and the screams of lust echoed through your apartment. You sit on his lap with his arms firmly behind his head while Jaehyun has his hands under your ass to help you keep up the pace. It was your third round that day, but you haven't had a chance to reconcile properly since your engagement. As soon as you were in your apartment, your clothes were already on the floor and in the first round you didn't even make it to bed. "Shit, I can't hold back if you go on like this." Jaehyun tried to slow down and buried his face on your chest. But you love teasing him and that's why you ride him as hard as you can now. "Y/N, I'm serious." He groaned and clawed at your hips. "Then fill me up." You wink and keep going at your pace. You smile and ride him until you hear a loud groan. He threw his head back and looked at you. "I just wanted you to cum." He sighed and you put your hands on his cheek. "You gave me more than one orgamsus today. I think I can count myself lucky." You dismount from him and take a handkerchief to clean yourself. "Besides, as much as I love having sex with you, I'm a little bit sore." You smile and lie down next to him. Jaehyun also took a handkerchief and cleaned the last drops from his tip. "I know. I just missed you so much and your beautiful body." He kissed your thigh and smiled gently. His dimples appeared and your heart was soft. He then lay down to you and put his arm around you. You were so happy to have him back with you, just having his smell back in the apartment meant everything to you. When you are in the spoon position, you look at the engagement ring and turn it a little. "Do you like him?" Jaehyun kissed your shoulder and looked at the ring with you. "Yes, I've never had anything more beautiful." You smile and you look at the diamond. You never expected that. "I am happy to hear this." You feel how he pressed you closer to you, but you still had a question. You turn around and look deep into Jaehyun's eyes. "Did you really think about it? I mean, with your whole career ..." "Yes," he interrupted and kissed you gently. "Yes, I thought about it all. Exactly. And I only want you." He smiled and stroked your cheek. “Good, because you cum in me three times this day and I don’t take any birth control at the moment and we don’t used a condom either.” You look at him seriously, but Jaehyun just smiled very relaxed. "It's okay. If it happens, it just happens."

Jaehyun was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. His manager would come with the bosses at any moment and they had no idea what to expect. Without an explanation, he left to travel Y/N. "Hey, I know you love her. But are you sure what you are doing?" Johnny sat in bed with Jungwoo and Taeyong and looked worriedly at their friend. Jaehyun said nothing and continued to stare at the ceiling. "We're just worried, don't want to lose you in the team." Jungwoo sighed and looked sadly at the floor. Jaehyun continued to say nothing and continued to stare. The boys looked at each other and shrugged. They were worried about their friend. But the next moment, Taeil opened the door. "They are here," he said, and Jaehyun moved for the first time. He got up and his friends followed him. Their manager and several important people from SM stood in the kitchen. Jaehyun and the others (all from the group) greeted their superiors and sat down at the table. Then the manager came up to them and sighed. "Jaehyun, we're not very happy with how it all goes." Jaehyun just nodded, but the others looked at him in surprise. He had only informed his manager that he was engaged. The others thought it was still about getting you back. "You and your girlfriend really want to get married now?" Asked the manager, but then were there more surprised looks in the room. "WHAT?" Doyoung screamed and he was startled about himself. "I mean, we didn't know about it, did we?" He was still trying to correct himself. The others looked at him briefly, but then ignored his surprising reaction. "Yes, we want to get married." Jaehyun's expression never changed. It was like he would playing poker. "Why can't you be in a simple secret relationship like everyone else? Or did you get her pregnant?" The manager crossed his arms and looked at him in annoyance. "I had, she lost the baby. We want to try again." Jaehyun said that very monotonously, but now everyone looked at him in surprise. "Wow Jaehyun, why didn't you tell us?" Asked Johnny in surprise. But suddenly their manager got up again. "Ok, I think we've heard enough. Jaehyun, I don't know what that means for you. But it could be that this is the end here." Jaehyun just nodded, he knew exactly what he was doing and that surprised the others. The manager and the other superiors left the apartment and left the boys behind. Then Yuta came to Jaehyun and looked at him seriously. "Jaehyun, can you maybe tell us what happened?"

"I can't stop looking at the ring." "Jisoo, please let go of my hand now." You laugh and look desperately at your colleague. "We know it's a guy, he has a six-pack and a good taste in jewelry. When do we get to know him?" She sighed and looked at you with wide eyes. "Everything is still complicated, but soon." You smile and get up. "He is famous or? Oh my god, that's why this ring is so perfect! Is he an actor?" "Jisoo, I really have to go." You laugh and take the rest of your documents. "Okay, okay. Good luck with his parents, then." She waved after you and you make your way to the car. It's been two weeks since you got engaged. Jaehyun's company still hadn't told him what to do with him and that made him nervous. But at the same time, he still had to travel to different countries for advertisements. You had hardly seen him the last few days and that evening he had to go again to travel to Japan. But you wanted to use the time so that Jaehyun could finally introduce you to his parents. You were incredibly excited and nervous. It got really serious now that he will announce your engagement to them this afternoon. First you pick up Jaehyun from the dorm. When he got in the car, he greeted you with a passionate kiss. "God, I missed you so much," he sighed and his lips met yours again. "Still don't know anything?" You look at him with big eyes and he shook his head. You nod in silence and turn to the steering wheel. The restaurant where you meet was a bit out of town, so that Jaehyun was not easily to recognized. On the way he told you about his trip, but somehow Jaehyun was distracted. He kept biting his lip and staring at you. And when you park the car, he puts his hand on your thigh. "You look so good." He groaned and you look at him with wide eyes. His hands rubbed against the inside of his tights. "What? Are you hard? Now?" You have to laugh. Was he really serious? But the bump in his pants was unmistakable. "Y/N, we barely saw each other and I have to leave tonight. The only time we see each other today is meeting my parents." He whined and looked at you with his most faithful eyes. "But we are here in the parking lot and your parents are already waiting." You were nervous, but you kind of liked the idea as well. It just sounded exciting. "I'm very fast! You make me so horny, please help me to reduce some pressure." He strokes your thigh and pinches your skin. You look at him uncertainly for a while, but then you put your hand on his waistband. At that moment, Jaehyun braced himself a bit to pull down his pants so that his erection jumped out. And he did not promise anything wrong, he was really really really hard. When you touch him, he twitched immediately. He really was not far from cuming. “Plea...Please take him only in your mouth.” He groaned and you look still uncertain outside. But it seems that nobody was there. So you bend into his lap and close your lips around his cock.

"Do you think she might be an idol too?" Jaehyun's mother looked questioningly at her husband. "No idea." "Apparently he should be serious about her." "Hmm maybe ..." "He has never shown us a girl before." "We'll see." Jaehyun's father parked in the parking lot and his wife looked out of the window in amazement. "Well? I think I saw Jaehyun in the side mirror. Didn't he go to the restaurant yet?" She got out and her husband shrugged. "I'll go quickly and say we're already there." She smiled and made her way to her son.

"Yes exactly. YES!" Jaehyun had his hand in your hair and you can feel his salty cum covering your tongue. But at that moment someone knocked on the window, which was followed by a shrill cry from a women. You both look up and Jaehyun recognized his mother who immediately ran away. "Shit." He put his cock in his pants again and you swallow his orgasm. You didn't expect that. "Was that ..." You look at him in shock and he nodded. "Yes, that was my mother."

The dinner was pretty uncomfortable. Nobody said anything and Jaehyun's mother couldn't even look you in the eye. It was incredibly uncomfortable and there was only tension in the room. Jaehyun tried to start a conversation, but everything seemed unsuccessful. After dinner, his father decides to intervene. He took a deep swallow of his soju and then turned to his son. "Jaehyun, you wanted to tell us something?" He put his hands together and waited for his son to say something. Jaehyun turned to you and you nod to him encouragingly. He then took your hand and put it on the table with his. "Y/N and I will get married." There was no reaction. Jaehyun's parents stared at their son. They were stunned. "She is pregnant?" At some point she managed to say something. But it made Jaehyun angry that this question is always the first reaction. "No. I love her. That's why we want to get married." Jaehyun firmly took your hand in his and shows your ring to his parents. But his mother only looked desperately at her husband and shook her head. "Boy, you're still so young. You should wait until you make those decisions." His father sighed and looked at you seriously. You no longer understood all of this. Are they currently advising him against the wedding? "And what about your career? I thought you can’t have a girlfriend." His mother sighed. "The company already knows. And yes, I may lose my job. But I can also find something else where." "And where? You're already in the best company." His father laughed contemptuously. "So you just want to give it all up because of a girl?" His mother asked. It was so strange because they acted like you weren't there. "Yes." Jaehyun stayed serious and his parents stared at him again. He was determined and you never thought that he was so serious about you. Now all doubts were gone. "I can not believe it." Jaehyun's mother got up with her husband and packed her things. "You just decided it. Without asking your parents. And now you're with this..." She looked at you now and she didn't look peaceful. "With this whore." She pointed to you, but before anyone could say anything, they were already out of the restaurant. You look at Jaehyun with wet eyes. "They hate me." You started to cry and Jaehyun hugged you. This day couldn't go any worse.

About us masterlist

daddy jaehyun masterlist

♫ JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS APPRECIATION WEEK ♫

DAY 6 | Write a fic with your favourite fanfiction trope.

Summary: Alex is one of the few special people born with a soulmate mark. However, unfortunately at a young age the mark fades and leaves a scar, indicating that his soulmate has died. Alex knew he wasn’t meant to be happy.

Trigger warnings: Bad Parenting, Homophobic Language

[[Read on Ao3]]

Everyone knew about the stories of soul marks, those lucky few born with a name written on their wrist of the person that they were destined to love and be loved by. The name was written in grey, that was until you met your soulmate, then the name changed to your soulmate’s favourite colour when you touched each other for the first time. Or so the stories went. Soulmarks were so rare that there wasn’t much research into how they really worked. 

Alex was one of those lucky few. Born with the name William written in blocky handwriting on his right wrist, it was one of the first words he learnt to read and recognise. But as happy as his parents were that he was special and he had a soulmate, there was unsaid tension between the two of them. His mother was supportive as much as she could be, but his father was distant and cold. It wasn't until Alex was six that he learnt why, the memory forever seared into his young mind.

----

Six year old Alex was too excited to sleep, in the next few days he would be starting school. Ever since he could remember, his parents hadn’t really allowed him to play with other kids and even when he did, his father had always made sure he had a leather cuff attached to his wrist that he was forbidden to take off in front of others, under threat of punishment. It hid his mark, something that made Alex sad and nervous. His father would always put it on too tight, which would leave red markings for days.

But soon he would be going to big boy school and his mother had even said that she would talk to father about not wearing the cuff to school. Alex quietly walked down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen for a drink, but he stopped when he heard voices talking. He crouched against the hallway wall and listened as his parents argued loudly.

"Mark please," He heard mother beg, "Let’s at least talk about this. Think about what's best for Alex, is our local standing more important than our son’s happiness? Let him love whoever he wants, for all we know, he’ll never even meet this William."

"I am Allison, no son of mine will be a flaming homosexual," His father hissed at his wife, spitting the last word out like a curse, "That name will bring this family nothing but trouble and shame. Once they find out about his mark, how will we look to the neighbours? Work colleagues? My boss? The church? No, my mind is made up! I'll take him to the centre tomorrow and they will remove the mark. No one needs to ever know about that thing on his wrist."

“You’ll be destroying a part of him,” His mother sobbed, “Why would you want to do that? What if he hates you when he grows up, what if he never forgives you?”

His father was silent and Alex peered around the edge of the doorway hoping to catch a glimpse of the man. His father ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “I can live with Allison. He can hate me all he wants but I’m looking out for what’s best for this family. I will not stand for my own flesh and blood loving the same gender under my roof. My decision’s final.”

Alex crept out back down the hallway and back towards his bedroom, his drink totally forgotten. He frowned at the words his father was saying, not really understanding what they meant. Looking down at his wrist, he traced the name, Alex didn't think William was a bad name and so what if it was a boy's name, boy’s were awesome, Alex would love to spend all his time with another boy, all he had at the moment was a sister and she was no fun at all. Girls weren't fun to play with either, they all had cooties.

Alex got back into bed and tried to go to sleep, but his mind was going a million miles an hour. His father’s words repeating themselves over and over again, Alex couldn’t understand how loving someone could be wrong. It was nearly 3 in the morning before Alex was finally able to drift off.

The trip to the center never happened.

The next morning, Alex woke up screaming in pain and all the noise he made caused mother to come rushing into his bedroom still in her pajamas, worry etched into her face.

“Honey, what’s wrong,” She came and sat on the edge of his bed, her hands reaching to comfort her son.

“It hurts,” Alex cried, tears streaming down his face, as he pushed his wrist into his mother’s open hands, “It hurts.”

Allison frowned, looking down at her son’s wrist, she gasped in shock. The once grey name was slowly fading away to nothingness, the edge of the name an angry red as if someone had burnt the skin. The change in the name could only mean one thing, Alex’s soulmate had died before they even had the chance to meet.

Allison wrapped her arms around the sobbing boy and comforted him the best she could, not knowing the pain he was feeling or how to make it stop.

“It’s going to be alright, honey,” She whispered as she held him close and rubbed his back, “We’ll get through this. You’re going to be fine.” Allison repeated the words over and over again, not just for Alex’s sake but for her own as well, her heart breaking at the sounds he was making.

Alex continued to cry, not only from the pain in his wrist but from a pain he felt deep within himself, a pain that he couldn’t put into words. It was like something broke and he didn’t know how to fix it. He curled into his mother’s embrace, his face tucked into her neck, he wanted her to fix the pain but somehow knew that she couldn’t.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Alex’s sobs had turned into sniffles as he cried himself back to sleep. Allison layed her son back down on his bed and tucked the blankets around him. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and quietly left the bedroom to find her husband.

She found him in the kitchen, sitting at the table with the newspaper out and a coffee in hand.

“You’ll be happy to know that you got what you wanted and you didn't have to spend any money at all,” Allison spoke softly to her husband as she made herself a cup of strong black coffee, “Your son’s soulmark faded and scarred last night. William is dead.” Allison sat down at the opposite end of the table, letting her words sink in, “You don’t have to be ashamed anymore. No one will be able to tell that our son was to have a soulmate."

"Good then," Mark scoffed and went back to his newspaper. He dropped the matter for now.

----

Years went on and Alex grew up, he never did forget the name William and would still spend time tracing over the light scarring on his wrist when he was feeling sad. The name was hardly visible now, only if you knew it was there and where to look, could you see it. Alex never told a soul that he used to have a mark, he never saw the point.

His dad’s attitude never changed towards Alex, no matter how hard he tried to please him. He went to school, got excellent grades, went to church, he was a good son but no matter what he did, his dad never looked at him with pride, love or affection. Alex knew it was because of the soulmark he used to have, just by having a boy’s name on him had tainted himself in his dad’s eyes forever. He was older enough to recognise the looks his dad would give same sex couples walking down the street hand in hand, were the same ones he would he would give Alex before hiding his mark with that leather cuff.

So at age 14, Alex stopped trying to please his dad. He still did well in school - he actually liked learning - but he stopped going to church, not seeing the point of it and always found a reason to not be in the house if his dad was home. He became friends with Luke, Reggie and Bobby and started a band. Sunset Curve was on its way to be a huge success! Well according to Luke anyway.

At age 16, Alex took a chance on love, but was caught kissing a boy behind the high school gym. When his dad had been told from one of his church friends, he blew his top and knocked Alex around before kicking him out of the house, saying he never wanted to see him again. Alex spent the night on Bobby’s pullout couch.

He spent a lot of nights on Bobby’s couch, luckily his parents were cool having a teenager crash with them. Bobby’s parents had spoken to Alex’s mum and they came to an agreement. Alex would stay at Bobby’s for the foreseeable future, at least until Alex’s mum could convince Alex’s dad to let him come home and she would pay them for the inconvenience of housing another teenage boy.

He never did make it home.

Alex, along with Luke and Reggie died at 17 to a hotdog and not even a good tasting one! After their death, the trio spent 25 years in a black room and in that time Alex never noticed his soulmark return to its grey colouring and the scarring disappeared.

----

Alex wasn’t handling being a ghost very well, the lack of answers to things was driving him insane. While Luke and Reggie’s lack of concern was causing his anxiety to skyrocket. He needed to get away and breathe.

Alex poofed out of the studio and found him on Hollywood Boulevard. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, focusing on slowing down his thoughts. After a few moments, he reopened his eyes only to jump in fright when he caught sight of two ghostbusters ahead of him. It was stupid to that they were here for him, Alex freaked out as they began to walk purposefully towards him.

“No, no, no,” Alex whispered in fright, only for the two ghostbusters to walk straight through him, “Oh,” Alex glanced around to see if anyone saw his freak out, he then huffed and rolled his eyes at himself. He was dead, no one could see him.

With a sigh, Alex started to walk down the street, his thoughts starting to roam again.

Still lost in his thoughts, Alex was completely unaware of his surroundings. He gasped out in shock as someone collided with his shoulder, sending them both to the floor with a thud. Pain burst from his wrist at the contact, leaving Alex confused, while being a ghost things weren’t supposed to hurt.

Alex heard the other person to his right grunt in pain as well.

Alex pulled himself to his feet, while rubbing his wrist, the pain had now receded to a tingle.

“Uh, man you dinged my board,” Alex heard the other person moan.

“I dinged your board,” Alex huffed, “No dude,you ran me over, you’re lucky I didn’t-” Alex blinked, realizing that there was only one reason as to why this guy could have knocked him over in the first place, “Yo-you ran me over. You’re a ghost?”

“Well yeah,” The other ghost unbuckled his helmet, “Ever since I learnt the hard way that skating in traffic was bad.” Alex watched, slacked jawed as the ghost removed his helmet and shook out his hair.

‘Oh no, he’s hot.’

As they made eye contact, Alex saw something change in the other ghost’s demeanor, he no longer looked annoyed about his skateboard.

“Hey, sorry I smashed into you,” He apologised. “I thought you were a lifer and I’d just, like, pass through.”

Alex blinked at the term, “Uh, a lifer?”

“Uh yeah,” The other teen looked confused, “That’s what we call people who are living.”

Alex nodded his understanding but was still slightly confused.

“You’re new to this whole ghost thing, aren’t you?”

Alex winced, “Yeah, is it that obvious?”

“Totally,’ The other ghost laughed, but not in a mean way.

The other ghost then stuck out his hand, “Hey uh, I’m Willie.”

“Oh, uh Alex,” Alex took the offered hand and shook it.

“Ah.” “Ow.”

Both ghost’s quickly released the other’s hand and grabbed their wrists to ward off the sharp tingle. Alex looked down at his wrist and watched in shock as the grey of his soulmark changed to blue. Alex looked up to see Willie looking back at him in awe.

“Alex, as in short for Alexander?” Willie asked softly, turning over his wrist to show Alex’s name written in his own handwriting and coloured pink.

“Oh wow, yeah that’s me,” Alex blinked in shock at his name, gently taking a hold of Willie’s wrist to get a closer look, “I thought you died,” The blonde frowned and looked back to Willie, “Well I guess technically you did die, if you're standing here as a ghost. I’ve never heard of a faded mark regaining colour before.”

Willie smiled as he listened to Alex ramble on. It was cute.

“I guess that means Willie is short for William then?” Alex asked hopefully, turning over his own wrist for Willie to see.

Willie traced over his own handwriting with his thumb on Alex’s wrist, “Yeah that’s my writing,” Willie looked back to Alex, “Say, you doing anything right now?”

“No,” Alex tilted his head in confusion, “Why?”

“Want to hang out? I could show you around and answer your ghost questions. If you have fun, maybe we could hang out again?”

“Uh, okay, that sounds fine.”

“And by hang out, I mean do you want to go on a date?” Willie wasn’t masking his intentions, he had been without his soulmate for years and he wasn’t going to screw this up now that he had found him.

“A date sounds fun,” Alex squeaked out with a smile.

“Awesome.” Willie took a hold of Alex’s hand and poofed them to one of his favourite places, he had a soulmate to woo.

The End

I just want us to be safe – Chapter 2 (Andy Barber x Daughter!Reader)

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / I just want us to be safe-Masterlist

Summary: You managed to convince your dad to let you help him with this difficult case. Your years at law school were not completely useless & that much your dad knew as well. It was time to interrogate a few teenagers of Newton High. Who thought it would lead you to think this way?

Words: 2,448

Warnings: language (the opportunity was given, come on), father-daughter-dream team (not a real warning but it’s cute), besides that this chapter is good to go

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

When you pulled into your driveway, you could already see your dad waiting for you. You parked your car, got out & ran for him immediately. He welcomed you with open arms & you closed your eyes when you finally reached him. You were all okay but the thought itself was scary.

“You alright?“ dad asked you & you nodded in return. He knew you wanted to know as much as he did & since it was his case, he had quite some information. Dad & you made your way inside where Laurie was already waiting for you. As soon as she saw you, she got up & ran over to you, embracing you in a hug. You were just happy to see all of them but unfortunately, Jacob was still locked inside school.

“The victim was found stabbed in the woods, just a bit away from the way Jake usually takes. It looked brutal, I’m glad you didn’t have to see this.“ dad inhaled & closed his eyes for a second, the images popping into his head again. “It was Ben. You know him, don’t you?“

“Ben? Ben Rifkin? The boy who goes to Jay’s class?“ you were shocked to say the least. When you saw your dad nod you continued. “Knowing is definitely the wrong word. I just knew he was in the same class as Jay. He always seemed like a nice guy…Oh my god…this is…I don’t know what to say.“ you honestly said, your voice breaking throughout your sentence. Dad laid his arm across your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. Even though you did not know Ben personally, you were sorry this had happened. What was his family going through? Laurie mostly sat next to you in silence, processing it differently.

A few minutes of silence passed & you heard the door unlock. This had to be Jacob. You were right, he stepped inside, his expression not readable. He did not look scared or broken but neither did he look happy, obviously. The four of you went into a group hug, grateful that you were all here, together. Jacob was not in the mood for talking so you decided to let him go to his room. Maybe he just needed some alone time to process what had happened today. Dad did tell him that the victim was Ben but still, Jacob did not show any emotions.

“We weren’t friends, really, just regular classmates, you know?“ & with that, dad stopped asking Jacob about it, wanting for him to rest a bit after this eventful day. Laurie decided on doing the same, so she went into her & dad’s bedroom, closing the door. She would probably do some reading. She always did when she wanted to calm down.

Now, your dad & you were alone in the kitchen. Dad’s laptop was already sitting on top of the counter, ready to do some research, as his boss had told him to do. Yet, you did not leave his side. You were not attending law school for no reason. The crime solving had always fascinated you & dad let you have an insight in his cases every now & then. Two people working towards one goal was faster than one so you asked, not caring about your dad’s answer at all, knowing you had to convince him to let yourself be of help.

“Dad? I’d like to help you with this case.“ you stated confidently. You knew his answer as soon as his eyes had met yours. His face told you everything.

“Nope. Don’t even think about it. I’m fine, I can deal with this on my own. I don’t wanna make you a part of this, that’s no joke. This is dangerous, (Y/N).“ the way he called you by your real name surprised you a bit. He only ever used it when he was serious about something. Yet, you could not let him do this alone. It would be so helpful for college so you tried again.

“I am aware of the danger, dad. I wasn’t saying that I’d like to take over. Just helping with research, maybe even interrogations, you know, like we have done a couple times already.“ while saying that, you made sure to look directly into his eyes, trying to sound as confident as possible. Apparently it had worked because you saw your dad’s expression soften & knew you had him wrapped around your finger. You know, you were damn good at doing research, always finding the right sources & clues that helped with solving a case. Dad obviously knew that as well, so he agreed on you helping him. He told you that you had to obey his orders, especially with this case & you were fine with this. So in order to work faster, you ran up to your room, grabbed your laptop, made your way downstairs again & sat right next to dad. You still did not have much information but you worked with what you got. Mainly, the two of you searched for similar cases in the area, trying to find any connections but to no avail. A few hours later, you had not checked the time for a while, your dad yawned & stretched. He told you it was time for bed & you were shocked when the time read 3:11 am. College started in a few hours so it was destined to be a short night without much sleep. You would lie if you said that you were not affected by such cases. But that was what the job brought with itself. Sleepless nights & loads of overthinking. Were you ready for all of this in your future? Honestly, yeah. You wanted to help others in a form of bringing justice to suffering people.

6 am, your alarm woke you from your short slumber. Gosh, you were tired but that was nothing you could not manage. Following the same routine as always, you made your way to the kitchen. Everything was the usual. Dad drank his coffee, Laurie went jogging & Jacob was silent, a bit too silent for your liking. When Laurie came back, the discussion started. Dad & Laurie wanted to drive Jacob to school. An obvious reaction to a killer running around. Jacob insisted on walking again & did not want to discuss this any further. You also suggested to drive him, not planning on taking your own car today, but wanting your brother to be safe. All you earned was a glare. Okay, you would not ask him again. Today was your diner-free day so you hopped inside dad’s car, letting him drop you off in front of your college. You bid your goodbyes & told dad you would be coming over to his workplace as soon as you finished your classes. He agreed, you had been at his work a couple times already, & drove off.

News were spreading fast & so was the fact that your dad, Andy Barber, had been assigned to this case. You were surrounded by law students, just as curious as you were, so of course they asked you if you knew more than the media released. The promise you made prevented you from spilling too much so you went with the typical “That’s all we know, too.“ phrase. Lucky you, you only had one class today & after this, you walked to your dad’s office. Office? More like his workplace but whatever. You loved it there. The atmosphere, the people, the cause. Sometimes you even imagined yourself working there. Maybe your dream would come true in a few years, after successfully graduating from law school. Entering, you saw your dad on his way in his boss‘ office. He was so focused that he did not even see you walk in. Not wanting to interrupt their meeting, you waited outside, greeted some of dad’s colleagues & sat in one of the many chairs. From what you could read from their expressions, it was not a simple “updating“ meeting. When you saw your dad’s favorite colleague walk in, you knew something was off. Oh how much you hated that guy. What was his name again? Neal Logidiudice? Logidouche? Who the hell even cared, he was an asshole, that much you knew. They discussed for a few more minutes until your dad exited the office, spotting you & walking over to you. Okay, dad did not look pissed, more like accomplished. That was a good sign.

“Hi there, angel! Here so soon?“ he questioned.

“Just had one class today so I thought I’d come by earlier. Let me tell you, law students are horrible when it comes to being curious. Am I this bad, too?“ you asked, more to yourself but still loud enough for him to hear.

“Bullshit, you know the way, you’re more experienced than most of them.“ his statement made you smile.

“Soooo? What were you guys talking about? And what the hell did Detective Douche do in there?“ your last part made your dad laugh. You were a bit obsessed with “Lucifer“ so every time you saw one of dad’s co-workers you did not like, you gave them this name.

“My boss wanted to pass this case to him. You know, because of me having a relationship with some parents & students. After some convincing from my side, she agreed on letting me do it anyway. Good sign, angel, you can come with me to Newton High to interrogate a few kids. You in?“ your response was a smirk. Of course you would accompany him. You loved helping him with his job.

Dad, Detective Paula Duffy & you grabbed a few things & made your way over to Newton High. While being in the car, dad told you a few rules you had to follow during the talks with the kids. You knew how to behave during an interrogation. The two of you had gone over the steps multiple times. Yet, he felt more comfortable with telling you again & again, especially while on the way to an important appointment. So you kept listening, knowing how much of a deal it was for him. Arriving at the school’s parking lot, everything seemed normal. Nobody would have guessed that there had been a murder nearby a day prior. When the two of you stepped out of the car & met with Detective Paula Duffy again, you went over to the entrance. The principal awaited you & made you follow him to a separate, empty classroom. There was just one table at the very center. You thought that there probably were kids who could be a tiny bit scared of this sort of confrontation. They might be younger but there sure as hell were not dumb. Kids always knew more than they were revealing. You had been to high school, you knew the deal. You thought it was a good idea to let them know your apprehension. Because of that, the two of them decided to integrate you in the talks. They thought that the kids were more comfortable with talking to a younger one. Of course you were happy to hear that. They trusted you enough to include you. You all got seated on one side of the table, leaving a single chair at the opposite side for the kids.

You had lost count about how many children had been in there. There was nobody who gave you new information. Mostly, the teenagers were shocked to find out about Andy Barber, Jacob’s father. Some of them even recognized you, telling you they had seen you around a few years prior. Even though all three of you tried to get at least a tiny bit out of the kids, it was useless. It was time for the last kid of the day. You were tired. Sitting there for hours, interrogating teenager after teenager without success was exhausting. The last interrogation was with a girl. She looked cute, nice & smart. One of her first questions was addressed to your dad.

“Are you Jacob Barber’s dad?” your dad, being tired of the statement he had heard so many times already, simply smiled & nodded. Her next question, though, brought your attention back.

“Have you talked to him about it?” her face shifted but you could not quite make out what her expression looked like. It was a normal question but to you, something did not make sense. You let your dad answer, not really knowing what to say yourself.

“Um…you mean if I have talked to Jacob about this situation? No, not yet.” your dad barely ever stuttered so that was another unusual thing.

“Maybe you should. Can I go now?” the question everyone asked as soon as they wanted to get out of there. Your dad gave her his card, telling her to immediately call this number if she remembered anything or if she saw anything. She nodded, making her way towards the door, looking back one more time, her face showing…pity? Now that was interesting.

“We’re done for today. Go home, we’ll keep working tomorrow.” the Detective said. She said goodbye & walked out of the room, leaving you & dad alone.

Back in the car, you could not get this girl out of your head. Her words seemed to activate something inside of you & you started growing concerned. Not wanting to wait any longer, you asked what you had on your mind.

“Do you think Jacob knows more than he lets us know?” even though you faced the street in front of you, you saw dad looking at you from the corner of your eye.

“Seriously?” he let out a low chuckle. “Angel, we’ve talked to him. He doesn’t know anything else, he promised.” Dad reassured you.

“Can we be sure, though? Maybe this girl has a point. Should we ask him again?” you were scared. You hated yourself for even believing that your little brother Jacob had been hiding the entire truth from you. But you were trying to solve a case & that meant that you had to consider every possibility. The thought made you sick.

“(Y/N).” his voice was more serious now. “We know Jake, if he knew something, he would’ve told us.” He reasoned.

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, this case just…you know, not easy.” you tried to explain. Your dad nodded, understanding you were a bit confused with this situation. As he kept driving, you could not help your thoughts wandering back to the slight possibility of Jacob being involved. How could you ever doubt your own brother? But on the other hand, was the doubting justified?

 ~to be continued~

Published (01/05/2020) by Cathy

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

Warnings: Implied sexual harassment

Shouta Aizawa x OC (Mai Montoya, Pro Hero Zion)

If you want to read of the events before this chapter here is the Master List 😊

“Are you sure, Ms. Montoya? Is that allowed?” Todoroki spoke up, concerned if it will cause more problems.

“Yes, I am sure. There is no problem with me telling you a story.” I reassured them, “Now, like I said, even as a pro, there are times you cross the line when trying to do good.”

And with that, I told them.

It was the end of a week-long investigation and mission against a group of drug dealers and villains. Everyone in the agency was tired and finding ways to destress. On my way out of the building, I noticed one of the interns was being harassed by Gemini. She was a young girl at most seventeen, she had a quirk that wasn’t meant for combat, but her quirk allowed her to hack into any computer or technology we needed her to hack into. Seeing the way he harassed her, how small she was compared to him, her uncomfortable expression… it set me the wrong way because that’s how he made me feel. And to top it all off, he was trying his best to physically touch her skin to use his mind control quirk on her. To make her more compliant, as he would put it.

Anger rose within me. I couldn’t just let him get away with this. I couldn’t let him victimize her. So I put my gloved upon his neck and used my quirk on him to take his away. Afterward, I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him off of her, throwing him to the wall.

It wasn’t wrong what I did. It just went against my agency’s rules and contracts.

You can not use your quirk on colleagues.

It didn’t matter if he had done it numerous times. He was Gemini, the number one hero in the United States, and also my boss. So rules didn’t apply to him. But no matter my status, it did still applied to me.

“So yeah, I saved a girl from being a victim of sexual assault and harassment, but it ended up biting me in the ass because it was against my agency’s rules to use my quirk against a colleague. That’s why I got the license suspended for a year.”

“That’s not right. He was doing villainy. He’s not a true hero. He should’ve had his license revoked.” Todoroki spoke out quietly.

“It might be unfair, but it’s a lesson I learned the hard way that sometimes your anger can make you forget about the consequences of doing the right thing. Licensed or not. So I would highly suggest finding ways to learn how to think clearly when you are passionate, to avoid getting into trouble.” I paused for a moment to look at Iida, “And maybe we should have sessions about how you were more than willing to get rid of Stain because license or not, killing isn’t allowed. So don’t expect me not to be a little concerned about you intentionally wanting to murder a villain.” He looked shocked that I even suspected that he wanted to kill Stain, but then he thought for a moment to see that he never said that he just wanted Stain to be arrested or anything, just to be ridden of. I got up from the bed, “Alright, so I’ll leave you three to talk amongst yourselves and reflect on things. I’ll be speaking with the doctors that looked after you and will be calling your parents and caretakers with them.”

I left the boys to their own devices as I decided to text Aizawa what was happening. No response was given. He was probably busy patrolling. As I went to call parents, Iida’s mom was still in Hosu, so she could pick him up and take him home. Fuyumi was busy with her teaching job but assumed her father would take care of Shoto while he was in Hosu, so I had to leave Shoto under his dad’s watch again. Who broke my heart was Inko Midoriya, she was crying over the phone, and I couldn’t really do anything to stop it.

“I want him to follow his dreams, just seeing my baby get hurt over and over again is starting to really take a toll on me. And I can’t be there with him. I am very lucky to say that you actually do care about your students. Izuku speaks highly of you, so thank you for that. Please, stay with him over the weekend until I can make it to the hospital. I know it might seem like you’re favoriting him, but…”

I interrupted, “I have to stay with them until their parents arrive anyway. I don’t mind looking after your son. With his injuries, he’ll be here the longest, so if you can’t be here with him, I will gladly be here for you and keep you updated.”

There was a pause on the other line, “Thank you so much, Ms. Montoya.”

“It’s my job to care for them and help when I can. Don’t be afraid to ask anything of me. You won’t be overstepping.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me. I needed to let Midoriya know how this is affecting his poor sweet mom. “I know where you are coming from. My mom was a single mom and was always worried about me when I was in my hero training. So I will definitely advise your son to calm down and not push himself too much.”

“I don’t know how she did it.” The woman breathed out.

“Honestly? It was tough. She still worries about me.” I nervously laughed.

“Alright, well, thank you again. It’s nice to hear that you know where my worries stem from. I’ll let you go now to focus on the boys. Give them my support and let them all know. I hope they are all okay.”

“I will, Mrs. Midoriya. I’ll keep you updated on your son.” And the line was cut. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and I was transported back into time, listening to my mom’s frantic yelling at Nezu after my licensing exam…

“I told you to put her in the general course, Nezu!” My mom frailed her arms, her onyx curls bouncing in response. “Now look, she almost died taking this stupid hero licensing exam!”

“She did really well using her quirk. It allowed her to pass. And look! She’s perfectly fine. Her costume is a little wet, but she’s fine.” Nezu responded.

“The other students nearly drowned her! She wasn’t moving for two whole minutes!” There was another pause followed by sobbing, “I can’t take this. I tried my best to keep her safe for fifteen years. You don’t understand the sacrifices I made… I know I might not be the best parent or that I might seem irrational. But I know I am right about one thing. Her quirk. It’s not something that will bring her happiness. She will always be targeted for it, and I don’t feel comfortable with her having a career where she showcases it.” It’s not something that will bring her happiness…

I couldn’t help but laugh. She wasn’t wrong.

I felt a handset itself on my left knee, and I turned to see Gran Torino, “That boy, is sure, a lot of trouble. It reminds me of Toshinori.”

“Yeah. It makes you better understand why he chose him. His mom is super worried about him, though. It reminds me a little about mine.” I looked down at my feet, a little ashamed of all the crap I give my mom despite everything.

“Eh, your mom was holding you back based on her own fears of not being able to control everything in her life. Otherwise, she wouldn’t show any disdain towards everything you do.” And then there’s Gran Torino reminding me why I don’t have a good relationship with her in the first place. “Still, I have to admit, you wouldn’t be the person you are without her raising you in the first place, so she is a decent mom.”

“She’s not all bad.” I looked over at the old man who decided to sit next to me.

“Oh yeah, making your daughter feel guilty for using her quirk to help people because dear old mom and dad were going to come and find you. Even though you made friends with a long list of pros that would protect you. And then when you left for the U.S., she was angry, and even now, with the lawsuit and losing your license, she blames you for not standing by and letting everything happen. She’s nicer to others than you because she sees you as a little girl that doesn’t know anything about the world. Forgetting everything you ever went through... She doesn’t see you as a person.”

“She didn’t have the best upbringing herself. Plus, she was twenty in college when she had me, so it's hard for someone to be a parent when they’re barely an adult.”

“Doesn’t give her a right to be completely entitled and treat you like you’re lesser. This is why I chose not to have kids. I didn’t want to turn out like that and screw up my kids.”

Ding. Ding. DING. DING. I looked down on my phone to two text messages.

Unknown Number

I really wish I had you in bed right now, poppy. You were always the perfect little….

I didn’t bother reading the rest and blocked the number. It’s like he has a hundred phones.

Aizawa 🐛🐱

Are you with the students already? Gran Torino said he’d call you. Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be on my way soon to the hospital. I got stuck dealing with some villains. Hope this didn’t ruin your date with Vlad.

What a dork mentioning my date.

“You okay, Mai?” Gran Torino asked, trying to peer over at my phone.

“Yeah, I just need a new number. But Eraserhead said he’s barely on his way. Patrol got a little hectic.”

“I talked with Nezu about that. Is Gemini really still harassing you? Didn't leaving the U.S. become the best thing for him?”

“Why were you talking about that with Nezu?” I gave him a crude look.

“You don’t call me often, so I have to find some way to check up on you.” He matched my expression, “You’re my favorite kid I ever taught. Remind me so much of Nana.”

I took a deep breath. Nana Shimura. All Might’s predecessor, his mentor, his mother figure. He didn’t talk much about her to me, only little comments here and there. But with Gran Torino, it was different. Ever since the first day I met him, he always found some way to say I was like her. Unfortunately, I was never able to meet her. Sometimes I wonder if she would like me…

“You still wear your hair like hers when you’re too lazily to do your hair, I see.”

I chuckled a little as the old man ran his hand through the dark waves that didn’t fall into my bun, “I wonder if she would’ve liked me.”

Gran Torino looked at me, wholeheartedly, “With no doubt in my mind. She would’ve adored you, my little starlight.”

Time went on as I waited for Aizawa to come to check on the boys. Gran Torino got to speak with Midoriya alone before leaving himself. In the meantime, I was just with the two other boys showing them different movies on my laptop and talking more about either the incident or whatever came into mind. They seemed to calm down after a while and were finally able to relax, which made me more relieved.

We were in the middle of watching a movie when Aizawa barged in with his capture weapon in his hand and goggles on his head. “Alright, catch me up.”

I peered from behind my laptop screen in between the Todoroki and Iida’s beds, dumbfounded at the sudden intrusion. The boys looked just as surprised I was. Aizawa just stared at me like he was waiting for me to say something…. OH, RIGHT, I AM THE ONE HE’S TALKING TO, DUH! “Oh, me, sorry.” I uncrossed my legs and handed my laptop to Todoroki and let him and Iida continue the movie without me.

I walked out of the room and guided Aizawa to the hallway, “Everyone is fine for the most part. You know how our students are. Budding into things they aren’t supposed to because they want to be heroes. They ran into the hero killer, and they ended up injured, but luckily they are alive, so that’s all that matters. The police said that they’d make up a story saying that Endeavor took care of Stain so that the students don’t get charged with anything.” I mainly said everything in English and barely above a whisper to avoid eavesdroppers. I had Aizawa lean down to my level, his hair lightly tickling my lips as I whispered into his ear.

He then turned to look me in the eye. His grey eyes were looking strained and slightly redder than on most days. His face was inches from mine. “And their injuries?”

“Midoriya the usual, broken arms and was stabbed, Todoroki was the least injured, and Iida was paralyzed by Stain’s quirk and injured his left arm to the point that it’s possible that without the proper care he might not be able to use it again, but his mom is going to pick him up tomorrow and move him to heal at home with a private doctor, so I don’t think it’s a full concern right now.” His eyes were bothering me, so I instinctively went for his utility belt to grab his eye drops and handed the bottle to him, “Sorry, your eyes look really dry right now.”

My hand lingered a little too long as he took long to grab the eye drops in his palm, “Thanks. Did you come right away?”

I shrugged, “I came as soon as Gran Torino called me.”

“Did it interrupt your date? I’m assuming no because you’re not dressed up.”

“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows at him. I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. I just liked seeing his stoic nature get flustered.

“I… I … I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you look like you were just lounging around at home.” He avoided eye contact with me and then proceeded to use it as an excuse to put in some eye drops.

“I know I was just pulling your leg. Now I wasn’t really interrupted or anything. The date was over by the time Gran Torino called.” I waved my hand at him to metaphorically brush off the date topic.

“Then explain the bruise on your neck.” He grumbled, leaning his head back.

“The what?” My eyes widened in horror. I’m going to kill Vlad. I ran to a hospital window to check my neck in the reflection. And the hobo was right. There was a dark spot right on the left side of my neck. More specifically, where I had a mole. I turned back to Aizawa, embarrassed and holding my neck, “Please tell me it wasn’t that noticeable…”

“If I noticed, I’m sure other people did too.”

“Shota!”

“What?”

“You’re not helping.” I moved my hair to go in and cover the blasted hickey Vlad left me. God, Gran Torino probably saw it… MY STUDENTS PROBABLY SAW IT…

Suddenly a rumble of laughter rang through my ears like smooth waves, “I’ve never seen you so embarrassed. You’re a grown woman. Calm down.” I couldn’t do anything but glare at him, “You look like an angry tomato, come here.” He put his eye drops back in their spot in his belt and then reached a hand out for me. I reluctantly took it, and he pulled me in.

I was flushed against him and felt everything. His breath fanning me, his heart beating in between soft motions or rapid-fire speed, his fingers tight around one hand while the other hand landed on the small of my back, setting ablaze to the spot. His eyes were soft and warm… just like in high school… god, what is wrong with me? I was just on a date with Vlad and having a really, really, good time with him. But now here I am near Aizawa, and suddenly all the feelings Vlad gave me, I feel it times a thousand with the sweet nothing Aizawa is giving me. This is bad. Really, really bad.

Suddenly, I felt a weighted material falling along my shoulders. It was Aizawa’s capture weapon being wrapped around my neck, “Normally, I don’t like wrapping people I care about in this thing because it’s for solely work and to restrain villains. But I don’t have a scarf on me, so it will make due for now to save you some more embarrassment.”

Care about… My mind decided to wander to the one question that haunted me for years. “Shota…”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to answer me or anything. But there’s a question that I always wanted to ask you.” I held the weapon in my hand, feeling the material contrast with my skin, and looked mindlessly at the ground, “What made you not want to talk to me for so long? I tried for a year after I left, and you never responded. I remembered five years ago, you said you didn’t want to be a burden, but I feel like it wasn’t that… Because you said you cared about me then, and you're saying that now. And if you did, it wouldn’t have mattered if you felt like a burden because you would’ve still tried, you know? If anything… I always felt like I was the burden. So, I just wanted to know the real reason.” My eyes were slightly stinging because I wanted to avoid crying. This shit with Gemini is really hitting me. He always made sure that I was nothing and just a burden. Same with my mom, too, I guess. So, part of me always felt that I fucked things up with Aizawa like I was just a pity party…

I felt the weapon get tugged a little, and I was met with the warm grey eyes again, this time with determination and desperation. He lightly placed his hands on either side of my face, “You have never once been a burden to me, Mai. I am so sorry if I ever made you feel like that. The reason for our friendship being broken for so long was my cowardly self’s fault. Not yours. If I knew you felt like that, I would’ve done my best to be a better person for you than I was.” He wiped a tear away from my cheek, “You’re an amazing person. I shouldn’t have ever let you go. I consider myself lucky to have you back in my life.”

I couldn’t help the feeling that was coursing through me. I never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss the man in front of me… Maybe it was just my emotions getting the best of me? I'm pretty sure he felt the same way because I caught his eyes, switching their attention to my lips before back to my eyes. I looked at him with anticipation. But we both knew nothing was going to happen again. It would’ve been wrong.

I decided I would be the one to break the contact. I delicately took his hands in mine and took them off of my face, “I have to go back in there with the students. Gran Torino is with Midoriya right now. He’ll go more into detail with you about tonight.”

“Mai… I really want...” He switched our hands so that he would be the one caging mine.

“Ms. Montoya?” We were both interrupted by one of our students. Our eyes followed the voice, and it was Midoriya with Gran Torino following behind them.

Aizawa and I immediately dropped our hands, “Yes, Midoriya?”

“Sorry if I interrupted anything. Just Gran Torino and I got to talking, and I have some things I wanted to talk to you about.” Midoriya was blushing as if he caught two lovers in bed or something. On the other hand, Gran Torino had a more knowing look as his eyes shifted between the two of us.

“Oh no, it’s okay, Midoriya. Come on, we can talk on the way to the cafeteria, and we can get something before it closes.” I motioned the boy over to me and just gave Aizawa an apologetic look as he walked over to talk with Gran Torino. To be very honest, though, I am pretty relieved for the interruption. I wasn’t really prepared to hear anything that Aizawa was going to say. We love avoiding the inevitable, don’t we, Mai?

—————————————-

Tag list

@multifandoms916 @inumorph @thatgirlwithcamera @mel-sanch

The Draw (02)

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end...

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: Language.

Word count: 3336

AN: For those of you have been around a little longer - this story was originally published on my secondary blog Leijona Writes, but then taken down again, so you may have already read it :) Either way, please let me know what you think! I don’t have a taglist, but if you follow Harley Sunday x Sebastian Stan you should see any update I post. Masterlist

Your heart starts beating a little faster and you wonder if it’s really him, and just as you’re about to tap the notification to open the email, your boss calls and all of a sudden you find yourself trying to solve a shitstorm of epic proportions because one of your colleagues forgot to submit a document due this morning. You work your ass of trying to make things right so that by ten-thirty you get to call your boss to let her know that the problem is solved and that you’re heading out. She praises your work and promises she’ll cover your overtime, but she’s made promises like that before and you have yet to see any compensation so you shrug it off and tell her you’ll see her again on Monday.

At least the drive home is quick this time of night, with almost no traffic, but by the time you get home you’re so tired that you head straight to bed, completely forgetting about the email you were supposed to read and the presents you were supposed to order.

When you wake up that Saturday it’s close to noon, but you feel a bit better and decide to make the most of your weekend, treating yourself to a breakfast downtown before hitting the shops to spend some money on things you don’t really need. You even manage to find two presents for Jake at the local comic store, one of them a Winter Soldier figurine. It’s then your mind flashes back to yesterday and you mumble a quiet “Shit” when you realize you haven’t read the email yet.

You decide to head back to the same place you had breakfast at this morning, but this time you order a cappuccino and find a quiet table in a corner somewhere, turning your phone over in your hand absentmindedly as you wait for the waitress to bring you your drink. You smile at her once she does and take a deep breath, unlocking your phone and pulling up your email app, your finger hovering over the subject line for a second before you press down and the email opens.

Dear (Y/N),

First of all let me apologize for taking such a long time to reply. It’s been almost three months since Comic Con and while your email was forwarded to me shortly after I wanted to sit down and write a proper reply rather than a rushed and meaningless ‘Thank you for your email’.

But honesty, thank you for your email :)

And of course I remember meeting Jake and you, I think your photo shoot was the most fun I had that day - so thank you for that! You two seem to have a great bond and I think any kid would be lucky to have an aunt like you. I feel bad for the kids who bullied him, because they missed out on having a great friend. Will you please tell Jake that the Winter Soldier has his back no matter what?

Anthony and I both think Jake was the real superhero of that day, helping us out when Captain America bailed on us, and we would therefore like to invite both Jake, his parents and you to the premiere of Infinity War in Los Angeles. Someone from Marvel Studios will contact you by email later this week to send you all the information.

I really hope you can make it, maybe we even get to take another picture for your wall ;)

Thanks again for reaching out, I’ll see you in L.A.!

- Sebastian

You stare at your screen, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before a smile creeps on your face. You read the email again and you let out a quiet “Oh my God,” when you realize Sebastian just made sure you get to give Jake the coolest birthday present ever.

You want to call your brother to tell him the news, but you make yourself wait until you get home, just to calm yourself down enough that you won’t be rambling when you talk to him. You order another cappuccino, the smile not leaving your face and you’re sure the waitress thinks you’re a little strange but honestly you don’t care.

“Hey loser,”

“You’re the loser,” you counter automatically and you smile when you hear your brother chuckle on the other end.

“What’s up?” he asks. “You find anything for Jake’s birthday yet?”

“Yup,” you answer with a smile, letting yourself fall down on your couch, propping your feet up on the coffee table, “Once again, I am the best aunt ever.”

You hear your brother sigh, “What did you do now?”

“Hey,” you say, a little offended. “But ok, listen, after we went to Comic Con I sent an email to Sebastian Stan’s agency, just to thank him for taking the time for us that day, you know?” You wait for your brother to say something, but he stays quiet so you continue, “Well, he emailed back yesterday and invited the four of us to the world premier of Infinity War!”

“Huh,”

“Huh?” you echo, sitting up now because you can feel an argument coming.

“I’m not crazy about this idea,” your brother says.

“Why?”

“Ok, don’t get mad, but last week Jake asked us why we never take him anywhere fun,” he clears his throat, “Sarah took it pretty hard when he said that it’s always you he gets to do fun stuff with,”

“Nate-” you try, but he continues before you have a chance to say anything else.

“I just think that maybe taking him to Comic Con was enough for a while, you know? I mean, it was Legoland last year, SeaWorld the year before that, the kid’s not even eight yet, I think it’s all bit much, and flying to Los Angeles just for a premiere, I don’t know,”

“But it’s all of us, Nate,” you argue, “You and Sarah get to come too, we could make a weekend out of it-”

“Don’t.” He sighs. “Listen, we haven’t told Jake, but things aren’t going great at work right now, ok? Money’s kind of tight and I just, we can’t go.”

You know better than to offer to help out financially, because he nearly bit your head off that time you suggested you’d pay for a trip to Disneyland for all four of you. Instead you try to change his mind one last time, “Can’t I just take Jake then? I promise I won’t plan anything else until he’s at least ten.”

“No,” he says in a way that tells you he’s not going to give in, “and I would really appreciate it if you would just let this go. I’m using my older brother card for this one.”

“Fine,” you grumble, knowing you’ve lost this round. “I’ll see you next weekend then?”

“Yeah, party starts at two,”

“Alright,” you sigh, “See you then.”

You hear him mumble a quiet “Bye,” before he ends the call and you lean back, tapping your phone against your chin as you try to understand your brother’s point of view. And honestly, you know he’s making a valid point, because you do spoil Jake, and it’s not just with these annual trips but also with movie nights and whatever else you can think of that a seven-year old would want to do. Now guilty about making Sarah feel bad you remind yourself to talk to her next Saturday, because you really don’t want to let this come between your sister-in-law and you.  

You send your brother a text then, telling him he was right and that he can have his older brother card back for another argument that’s no doubt bound to happen some time later this year and he sends you the peace-sign emoji in return and you smile, knowing that you two are good.

You decide to answer Sebastian that same night, not wanting to drag this out any longer. Plus, it seems like polite thing to do.

Dear Sebastian,

Thank you so much for your email and for inviting us to the Infinity War premiere. It was really nice to read you had fun during the photo shoot, I know Jake had the time of his life!

Unfortunately Jake and his parents won’t be able to make it out to Los Angeles. Thank you again for your kind offer, and please know that the Winter Soldier will always been the one we’re rooting for over here in Charlotte!

All the best,

(Y/N)

The better part of your Sunday is spend doing all sorts of chores you’ve been putting off all week, and so you find yourself at Whole Foods right in the middle of the Sunday afternoon rush, with kids running up and down the aisles and a bunch of babies crying in a weird sort of symphony that make it almost impossible for you to remember what you wrote down on the shopping list you conveniently forgot at home. An old lady has run her shopping cart into your ankles twice over the course of the last minute, making you want to turn around and yell obscenities at her, because fuck lady, watch where you’re going, but you know that would be frowned upon by the other shoppers so instead you wait for her to pass you and then run into her once on purpose, a fake smile plastered on your face as you shrug at her when she turns around and gives you that old lady look filled with disapproval.  

You’re feeling miserable and you think about just leaving your shopping cart right here, in the middle of the store, while you escape this hellhole and live on takeaway the rest of the week, but then you wouldn’t be the responsible adult that everyone expects you to be, now would you? So you suck it up and make your way down the aisles, grabbing everything you think you might need at a steady space.

After unloading all your groceries onto the belt you take out your phone, while you wait for the cashier to ring up the lady in front of you, and your heart skips a beat when you see you have another email from Sebastian. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you quickly look around to see if anyone’s noticed, but Jesus, of course no one cares. You quickly put your phone back in your pocket, not wanting to read the email just yet. Slightly distracted you load your groceries into your shopping bag and pay for everything, answering the cashier’s, “Thank you for shopping at Whole Foods,” with a cheerful, “You too!”

You throw her an apologetic smile but she’s already onto the next customer and so you hurry back to your car, quickly putting the bags in your trunk and returning the shopping cart to its designated area. You take out your phone again and sit down on the driver’s seat, pulling up your email app.

Have to keep this short b/c I’m in between takes, but am sorry to hear Jake and his parents can’t make it. You’re still coming right?

-S

You whisper a quiet, “Holy fuck,” and read his message again, your heart beating just a little faster than usual. Closing the email you tap the icon for the texting app and send your best friend a quick note.

You home?

She replies within seconds saying that she is and so you start the car and head over to her place.

“Shut. Up.” Lauren says, eyes wide in shock, after you’ve told her everything that’s happened since your trip to Phoenix. She lets herself fall back against the couch and shakes her head, “This is crazy!”

“I know,” you agree, half laughing, half in shock as well, because somehow it seems even less real now that you’ve told your best friend.

“You are gonna go though, right?” she says, throwing you a look that tells you  she’s going to kick your ass all the way over there if you even dare to say no.

Still, you just shrug, because you’re not completely convinced it’s such a good idea.

“Oh come on,” she groans, rolling her eyes, “Not only is the man ridiculously good-looking, but he’s inviting you to the premiere of one of those superhero movies you like so much-”

“The Avengers,” you mutter quietly, because for as long as you have been friends she’s never understood your fascination with comic books.

“Yeah, whatever,” she says, waving her hand dismissively, “Listen, honey, you’re going. End of story.”

“Yeah, but,”

“Ah, ah, ah,” she holds up a finger to silence you, “No buts. Not this time.”

“Laur, come on,” you whine, but really it’s for show because yeah, you’re going.

She knows it too because she just shakes her head at you, taking another sip of her tea before she continues, “So, when is this premiere exactly?”

You’re about to say you don’t know, but of course you’ve already looked it up online, “The 27th.”

“Alright, so here’s what you’re going to do,” Lauren sits up, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She starts ticking things off on her fingers, “Tomorrow you’re going to request some time off from work, preferably two weeks, with some time before and after the premiere,”

You nod, because so far you’re liking where this is going.

“Then, you’re going to email Mr Smooth, saying that, yes, of course you’ll still come,” she sticks out her tongue at you after you’ve rolled your eyes at her, “Next, we’re going to go shopping next Saturday, because you need to look fierce as sh-”

“I can’t,” you interrupt, “Jake’s birthday party is on Saturday.”

“Ok fine,” she sighs, a little too dramatically, “I’ll clear my schedule and we’ll go on Sunday. I suggest you take at least,” she pauses for effect, “at least two days off before they have you fly out to L.A., so we can do some last-minute shopping, get a haircut, a mani-pedi, you know the drill.”

“This all sounds surprisingly similar to our prom prep,” you laugh, “minus the flying to L.A. part, of course.”

“Well yeah,” she states matter-of-factly, “the ultimate goal is the same, isn’t it?”

You just stare at her, not sure what she’s getting at.

“Getting a hot guy to take you back to his hotel room at the end of the night. No?”

Once you get home and your groceries are unpacked and stored away you take out a crumpled up piece of paper from your back pocket, because your best friend is the kind of person who fiercely believes in to-do lists and has written everything down for you. You stick it on the fridge and decide to tackle task number one and two right away, grabbing your laptop from the kitchen table and nestling yourself on the couch right.

You login to your work email and write a short message to your boss, asking for two weeks off starting Wednesday two weeks from now before you then login to your private email and type a quick reply to Sebastian.

I’d love to.

(Y/N)

On Monday your boss tries argues that she can’t really miss you for two weeks, wanting you to take no more than a week, but then you remind her of all the overtime you’ve worked without ever writing it down and she’s quick to give you the extra week.

And even though Sebastian hasn’t replied yet, you do get an email from Julie from Marvel Studios that afternoon, asking you for your personal details. You reply to her that same evening, letting her know that you are more than happy to pay for your ticket because you’re adding an extra four days in L.A. after the premiere but when she sends you your itinerary on Tuesday you see that everything is taken care of and you send both her and Sebastian an email to thank them for their generosity.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jake exclaims once he’s opened your presents, the biggest smile on his face. He carefully takes the Winter Soldier figurine out of the box and examines it thoroughly.

You plant a kiss on his head before you head to drinks table for a cup of coffee. Sarah’s just filling the tray of cupcakes and you bump hips with her, “Congratulations on with the kid,”

“Thanks,”

“Listen, I uh,” you clear your throat, figuring you might as well get this out of the way, “I’m really sorry if I went a little overboard with taking Jake on trips the last couple of years. Nate told me it was all a bit much and I just want you to know that I’ll tone it down from now on.”

She nods, but doesn’t say anything right away, her gaze landing on Jake, who’s trying on the roller-blades you got him, not paying much attention to the new backpack his parents gave him.

“Shit,” you mutter, turning towards her, “I’m sorry, Sarah. I promise it won’t happen again.”

She smiles then, “Listen, I’m not sure if Nate should have made such a big deal out of it, but I do appreciate what you’re saying. I mean, Jake just turned eight, you know? There’s plenty of time to take him on trips once he’s a little older.”

“Yeah,” you agree and give her a hug, “thanks, sis.”

She nods and walks back to the kitchen, probably getting some more food.

Your brother joins you then, grabbing a cupcake and taking a big bite, following up with a sip of his coffee, “Great party, huh?”

You look at him in amusement, because if there’s one things your parents taught you it was not to speak with your mouth full, but both of you have long foregone that rule. You take a deep breath, because after discussing this thoroughly with your best friend, you and Lauren decided it was best to be honest with him, “So, I’m flying out to L.A. in two weeks.”

He just nods.

It’s making you a little uncomfortable and so you try to explain, “I told Sebastian you couldn’t make it and then he asked if I would still come and I figured I might as well, right?”

“Of course,” Nathan offers, and he’s smiling now, “I just wanted to make you feel bad, loser.” He laughs, “I’m all for my little sister going to this fancy premiere with this handsome movie star. You get it, girl,” he mocks, clicking his fingers.

You smack his arm, but can’t help but laugh, “Asshole.”

“Ugh, no,” Lauren wrinkles her nose in disgust at the dress you’re wearing and hands you two new ones to try one.

Looking at yourself in the mirror you can’t help but agree with her sentiment, the pink dress your wearing doing nothing for your skin tone or figure. You decide to go with the floor length dress Lauren’s handed you, which looks remarkably like the Elie Saab dress you’ve been obsessed with every since you saw it on Elizabeth Banks a couple of years ago.

Lauren audibly gasps when you step out of the changing room, “Wow,”

You turn around, your mouth dropping when you see yourself in the mirror.

“It’s like it’s made for you,” Lauren stammers, as she stands next to you and grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze, “You look gorgeous.”

Rules are meant to be broken

This is my first CharacterXReader story ever. Like I predicted, it turned out that this writing style isn’t really my cup of tea, but you never know unless you give it a try.

This one is for you, @the-baby-bookworm <3 Thank you for the idea. I hope I didn’t disappoint much.

Characters: BaldwinxReader(You)

Synopsis: Baldwin falls for his new employee (I’m really good at writing synopsis, aren’t I?)

“You got to be kidding me.” Baldwin Montclair followed your every move since the second you stepped into his office.

You always gave people benefit of a doubt, but from one sentence you could tell that people seemed to be right about him - Baldwin Montclair was indeed a self-centered, stubborn, rude and who knew what more. Still, you chose to be polite. “Good afternoon, Mr. Montclair, I’m…”

“I said I needed a CFO, not a fetus, Jenna.” He disregarded you completely.

Jenna, an HR manager, a woman in her fifties, obviously bit her tongue and stopped for a few seconds to cool down before responding. “I was present in all rounds of her interview, trust me on this one, she is extraordinary.”

“Thank you, Jenna. Mr. Montclair, first of all, I am not a fetus, I’m 26 and I am pretty good at what I do.” You stood in front of these two, deciding not to take a seat.

“Jenna, you may leave now.”

She stood up without taking a look at Baldwin and sighed. She patted your shoulder in support on her way out.

Baldwin got up and buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket. He was way taller than you imagined and way more menacing, the closer he came to you, the more menacing he appeared, but you stood your ground, your parents didn’t raise a coward.

“Why are you here, little witch.”

“Because I want to learn from the best.” You shrugged your shoulders, making it sound like the most normal thing in the world.

“Flattering will not get you anywhere.” He came even closer, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m telling the truth, you’ve been in business for centuries and I’m already damn good, but I feel like I could improve.”

He kept his gaze on you. “Do your parents know you are here?”

“Of course…” You took a step back, straightening your blouse and he lifted one of his eyebrows. “Not. They would get a stroke if they knew. Still, I don’t see how that has anything to do with this situation.”

Baldwin took it as a compliment, he loved when creatures were scared of him. “You are right, let’s see what you got.”

He let you sit on his chair and opened a few Excel spreadsheets, giving you the most basic task. “Is this a joke?”

He closed them and opened a few others, giving you 10 minutes for the necessary analysis. You did it in exactly 7 minutes and he was genuinely impressed.

“I think we might have a deal here, but you need to tell me what your powers are.” He set on the desk.

“You know very well that I shouldn’t tell you that.” You were the one crossing her hands over your chest now, but you did it in defense.

“That’s not how things work, if you want me to trust you, you need to trust me too.”

Did this sound like s trap? Most definitely it did, but did you want this job? Even more definitely. “I can blow up things, but I’m pretty bad at it.”

“Handy. Care to show me?”

You moved your hand slightly and the vase next to the entrance door exploded causing him to get off the desk and turn.

“Niiiiice.” He gave you a small clap.

 “I was actually aiming for that small glass on the table.” You pointed to the other side of the room and he lifted both of his eyebrows in surprise. “Told ya.”

 You realized why he called you fetus the first day you started working. All of his employees were in their fifties and he explained that it was because he didn’t want to raise any suspicion, they would work for him for about 15 years and then retire. Short enough for them not to become suspicious about his not-aging.

Other than telling you that, he wasn’t very open, when he actually talked to you it was business. In the following months, you noticed he had a habit of disappearing for weeks which became more frequent, but for shorter periods, usually a couple of days.

When he was there and when he actually acknowledged you, you enjoyed spending time with him. He was so smart you could listen to him talk for days. Some might say you had a crush on him, but you knew it was pure professional admiration.

Baldwin, on the other hand, started feeling like he was suffocating and he couldn’t figure out why for a long time. He was well fed, he got enough sleep and he didn’t have more problems than usual. Then eventually he figured out you were the main cause of his unease, it all started once you walked into his life. Even though you were somehow the root of his problem, you were also the cure. All the unease would go away the second he got close to you. The way your brain worked fascinated him, the way you smelled, that small smile that appeared on your face when he praised you, he memorized every little detail.

The problem was, him liking you stood against all of his believes. Sure, it worked out for Matthew and Diana and a few more people, but he still believed that vampires and witches shouldn’t get together. And, yet, he wanted you. He tried to get away as long as possible, but the feeling would actually get worse the longer he didn’t see you.

One day he ran down to the cafeteria even though he went there only every couple of years. Albert, who set in front you eyed Baldwin as he entered. “Can’t remember the last time I saw the boss.”

Baldwin went to the water machine, greeting everyone present. “Yeah, well, he’s a big shot, he probably likes to eat at fancy restaurants,” you knew well why he didn’t enjoy the cafeteria food.

One look from Baldwin was enough to make Albert get up: “I’ll see you later.”

Baldwin took his spot, gripping a plastic cup that was now empty, causing it to lose its previous shape. “Hello.”

Tapping of his foot was audible and he looked disoriented. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be okay. Actually, I’m great.” He got up without saying another word and grabbed your shoulder before he turned around and left, leaving you dumbfounded.

Later that day he yelled at a cleaning lady for leaving a speck of dust on his desk, he also yelled at his regional sales manager for messing a monthly forecast by 0,005% and he yelled at Jenna for absolutely nothing.

In the next two weeks Baldwin hasn’t once left for a few days, he even called you to discuss business topics that were only remotely connected to his company.

You were thankful he was there when you figured out something was wrong. You kept quiet for a week until you were sure, but when you gathered enough evidence, you went straight to his office.

“George is embezzling money.” You lay all of the papers on his desk.

“You are wrong.” He lifted his gaze to look at you, but he didn’t even glance at the papers.

“When am I ever wrong about numbers? Numbers don’t lie, bur George obviously does. Everything is here, take a look.” You dragged a chair so you would be able to sit next to him.

“Fine.” Baldwin took a close look at papers and he stiffed, his eyes narrowed and he punched an inside of his desk so hard that he sent the splinters flying. “Son of a bitch.” He dialed his secretary and told her to order George to come to his office.

You instinctively grabbed the hand he used for punching the desk with both of yours. “You need to calm down.” You expected him to aim his anger at you, but his eyes went from your hands to your face and back. His hands were cold and smooth and his eyes went from murderous to warm in a second. You let go of his hand when the door opened.

“Don’t say a word, George.” Baldwins voice dropped, giving you chills, making you hope he never talks to you like that. “You are fired and you know why. You are lucky I won’t call the police, but don’t get me confused, you will never find a decent job in this country, or, as a matter of fact, in this world.”

George opted that it was better to keep quiet, but he pierced through you with his eyes.

Baldwin thanked you and after that you left his office, avoiding the curious colleagues of yours. Baldwin called a meeting at the end od the day to briefly explain the situation and he requested that everyone kept quiet about this.

When you were done, you stayed a little longer to tie some ends before leaving for the parking. Right when you were in front of your car, George appeared out of nowhere and punched you. “You bitch.” You stayed on your feet but only thanks to the fact that your car was your support. It rang in your ears and pain kicked in after a few seconds. You felt blood oozing from the corner of your lips.

Just like George appeared out of nowhere, Baldwin did too and he sent George flying 10 meters, knocking him unconscious. He engulfed you in a hug, your blood smearing all over his white shirt. “Are you alright?”

“Mhm.” You couldn’t say anything because you felt a lump in your throat forming and your tears started raining down your cheeks.

Baldwin wiped away your tears, but the more he did it, the more they stubbornly fell. He hugged you again but this time you wrapped your arms around him too. “Don’t cry, my little witch.” He drew circles on your beck until you completely calmed down and then he backed away only to press his lips where you had the split. His hands dug into your hips and his lips slowly moved, but they remained around your injured area.

The pain slowly subsided, but you heard ringing in your ears again, but your blood racing through your body caused it. He moved back, licking his lips. You hand flew to your lips, but there wasn’t a trace of blood. “What did you just do?”

“I simply made you heal faster.” His eyes fell to the floor. “I’m sorry if I was…”

You cut him off, you slammed at him with full force and pressed your lips against his, you meant to give him only a pack, but when you were about to pull away, his lips followed yours, not wanting to part. His kisses were soft and slow until you completely melted in his arms, then he got needier and hungrier, digging his fingers in your hip, while holding you at the nape of your neck with his other hand.

 You were the one pulling away first as you grasped for air. You leaned on your car for the support once again.

A smirk was plastered on his face. “Well, your parents are going to definitely get strokes now.”

Your breath was still uneven and you missed the coldness of his body against yours already. “Shut up.” You smoothed out the mess you made out of his hair. “What are we going to do about our boy Georgie?”

“I forgot about him.” You ran your hands across his chest, willing him to calm down. “It seems like he wanted to go to jail after all.”

The Magic of “Old” Friendships

What is it about the friends that you have had a friendship with that seems like you have known them forever? They know your history, your quirks and all of you faults. They share old stories over and over that you never get tired of listening too. You have been through marriages, divorces, deaths and births of children. You go on “girls’ trips” and you plan future trips. You celebrated turning 20, then 30, then 40 and now 50-year birthdays.

 I said I would never write about my girlfriends, but apparently, I have changed my mind. What I will not write about is all those stories that do not need to be put into print! This would mean most of our stories.

 I met my best friend in high school when I was 15 and she was 14 years old. We were “thick as thieves” in high school. Our friendship continued into college and after. I met the next “batch” of girls in college. The group has grown over the years by adding co-workers, other friends and cousins to “the girl’s group.”

 Over the last 35 years, I have been to weddings, funerals, baby showers, ect. I have watched all of our children and “fur babies” grow up. I am now waiting on the first grandchild, which hopefully is not too soon. Grandchildren will just confirm that I am now old!

 What makes these friendships endure? I have had plenty of other friends that come and go, but this groups always seems to stay together. I had other friends in high school and college, but rarely am I in touch with many of them.

 I have learned over the years that there are a number of different types of friendships. There are work friends, neighborhood friends, colleagues in your line of work friends and social friends, to name a few.

 When I first started working at my first professional job, I became friends with my co-workers. I worked in a physical rehabilitation hospital and we went through a lot of emotional situations in dealing with our patients. The staff would lean on each other for emotional support through these times. My boss would even have socials at her home for all of us to get together for cook outs and stress relief. I even recall a few weekend beach trips with them. However, when I left the hospital to pursue another career, we lost touch. I have not spoken to any of them in more 20 years. I can not tell you why either.

 During my years of studying counseling, I read about how some friendships are “situational.” This is when you are friends with someone because of where you work or maybe from the club at the swimming pool. These friends share a common interest. It seems that when this common interest is no longer present, these friendships have a tendency to fade.

 Conversely, I have a friend that I met at my second job and she and I have remained friends for over 30 years. We still chat on the phone, do fun activities together, celebrate all the birthdays and confide in each other. What makes this happen? What makes one relationship thrive and others disappear?

 The advent of Facebook and other social media have allowed people to contact their long lost friends. Have you tried locating someone that you have had no contact with for a number of years? How did it turn out?

 Have you ever had a friend that you thought was super cool and awesome for years, then realize one day that you were wrong? I have had friends that I was extremely close too, then something would happen to open my eyes to what the person was really like. There were times that I did not like what I saw. Research says that sometimes when you do not like something about someone else is because this is a trait that is innate in you. So, you do not like someone because you are just like them?

 I think one reason that friendships endure is patience. I have had to be patient with some friends and I know they have had to be patient with me. Have you ever been in a situation where you or someone else was being completely unreasonable? If you said no, you are wrong. It happens to everyone at some time or another. I know I have experienced both sides of this situation. I find at these difficult times that it is a “test” of the friendship. Most important is how YOU handle the situation.

 My mom always told me, “you may not be able to stop what you are thinking, but you have the power to decide how you are going to behave.” You always have a choice, even if none of the choices seem appealing. In my opinion, this is a true test of someone’s character. I work hard on trying not to say things that I will regret later. This is a lifelong lesson, though.

 So, what makes one friendship last and others do not? I do not know the answer, I was just asking it out loud to myself.

 I have a theory that some people seem to be more “in tune” with your personality. I find I can connect with some people on multiple levels that include spiritual beliefs, social norms and morals and common interests.

 There are some topics that I have learned not to discuss at any time as these can be fierce discussions and can end in an argument. Subjects include:

1.      Religion

2.      Abortion vs. Pro-life

3.      Politics of any kind

4.      Parenting/Discipline

5.      Public school vs. Private school

6.      Vegetarian vs. Non-vegetarian

7.      Hunting

These issues are “hot beds” for debate and can quickly fuel into a shouting match. Steer clear of these issues as you can. If someone presses you to discuss, find simple ways to get out of expressing your opinion. Remember, just because you listen to a person’s point of view does not mean that you agree with them! I use phrases that are benign like, “hmm, interesting” or “really”. Allowing people to have their own opinion should not interfere with your life.

 By the way, I was a vegetarian for 12 years, then returned to eating red meat. I have been on both sides of this discussion and no one ever wins. When I was a single and still a vegetarian, a friend set me up with a guy. Turns out, this guy was an avid hunter. He spent the entire date trying to convince me that hunting was “necessary to maintain/control the population of animals” and “hunting is part of human nature” and blah, blah, blah. What was my friend thinking when she set me up with this guy? Did I wrong her in a past life or something? As you would guess, this was our only date.

 Have you ever had a “friendship crush” on someone? It could be male or female. I am not talking about romantic crushes. A friendship crush is when you just adore and admire someone so much that you may do the “toddler dance” prior to seeing them. I have had many. I also noticed that I would go out of my way and inconvenience others just to please my crush! You do not see their faults, because you think that they do not have any. This can put you in precarious situation.

 Many times, when I have had a “friendship crush”, I do not make good choices. By this I mean, I would do whatever activity the crush wanted to do just to please them, even if I did not like the activity. I would blow off plans with others if my crush wanted to hang out with me. I would refuse to see any negative traits in my crush that other friends would point out, then go onto defend my crush’s behavior!

 Inevitability, there would be a time when a situation would occur that would force me to open my eyes to the true nature of the person that I had a crush on. I realized this person had faults and I was devastated! How could this happen to such a perfect person that I have a crush on? Answer: Because NO ONE is perfect!

 I later realized that I had placed unrealistic expectations on my crush. I had idolized another person and that can be very painful when truth is revealed.

 What makes friendships last for so many years? What cuts a friendship “short”? Do you know when you meet someone that they will be a friend for life? Are you a good friend to have? What constitutes a “good friend”?

 I do not know any of the answers to these questions, but they are put to you to make you think for yourself!

 I think part of the “magic” of long-term friendships are the willingness of you to “evolve” as a person. This means as your life changes that you learn and grow. The dictionary defines the word evolve as “develop gradually, especially from a simple to more complex form.”

 Long term friendships require that as life changes, you change with it. I think as we become more complex people, we learn about ourselves.

 So, I think that all friendships are valuable. However, there is something special about the friends that have a long history with you.

 To my “girls”, I thank you for always being there for me. I thank you for all the fun times we have had and those yet to come. I look forward to more “girls” trips. I look forward to all of our grandchildren, as we will all get together to celebrate. I find myself lucky to be a part of this group.

 If you have friends that you have thought of contacting, do it! Think for yourself what a true friend is and then be that. If you have negative friends in your life, distance them and wish them well.

 Friendships can bring much joy to your life. “Old friendships” remind you of the magic that there is in living your life!

 Too my “girls”, Cheers!

Please visit uniquelylaura.com for more stories!

VillainAU!Izuku Midoriya x Reader

I want to thank @all-time-otaku that beta-read this drabble.

Warning: triggering contents, presence of blood, homicide and major character death.

Izuku was 5 when he first saw you playing at the park. It was March 14th. Your eyes twinkling with joy, your smile so bright they could make anyone blind if they got too close to you. Those delicious lips…how he wished he could kiss them. He still remembers the white t-shirt, that became green when playing in the grass, you were wearing and the salmon pink of your pants with pockets full of food that your mother gave you.

“I-Is your quirk being beautiful?” He asked you with his trembling yet sweet voice.

You had never seen this child before, but he emitted a strange vibe, like someone you could trust. 

“No. I don’t have any quirk for now. Do you want to become my friend?” Your request was straightforward. Izuku wasn’t expecting that question, but he accepted it without waiting a second.

You grew up together, helping each other, laughing and sharing adventures until that fatal day happened.

8 years passed before Izuku was ready to tell you his feelings. He was standing in front of you, head down, you were just returning from school, two days to your 14th birthday. There was a light wind making the petals of the trees fly in the air.

“Izuku, is there something wrong? You are trembling so much, are you cold?” You said with a little chuckle.

Here he saw your caring personality, one of the many things that Izuku loved about you.

“I need to tell you something.” 

It was a now or never thing for Izuku. He could feel his heartbeat pounding strongly in his chest like his heart wanted to escape from his body and this situation. A warm feeling enveloping his body, he could hear the pumping of his blood, his senses on alert and cold sweat on his forehead. You signaled him that he could talk with a slight nod of your head.

“I have feelings for you, do you want to become my-”

Izuku couldn’t end his phrase.

“I’m sorry Izuku, but I have feelings for someone else at the moment.”

His eyes became large with surprise, you never talked about a guy with him! Who was he?! In his mind, a mixture of pain, sadness, and fury was forming. He needed to make you understand that nobody could be better than him.

That night on the news you heard about a “Sludge” villain and how your blonde crush fought him; you never saw Izuku from that day on.

Now you were 28 working at your dream job, but still single. You thought it was incredible, how destiny always helped you when in need.

You were drinking your favorite beverage, dressed better than usual when in front of you a handsome black-haired boy appeared. Now that you got a better look at him, he had an undercut and his hair seemed green, maybe he dyed it to match with his big green eyes.

“Hey (Y/n)! I’m Izuku, Izuku Midoriya, do you remember me?” 

You remembered him, but for sure he grew up well.

Not even a month and you were already a couple. It was a spring day, after work Izuku decided to ask you to be his girlfriend, in front of you a beautiful sunset. That’s how your relationship started. Every time you kissed you felt your heartbeat speeding up, kisses always so full of passion. Most of the time Izuku started them, he started every act of intimacy to be truthful; you never thought that the once shy boy you knew could be so confident, but you enjoyed that side of his personality. Izuku was also nice, caring, funny, sweet, and genuine. He seemed so perfect.

Everything started to change after you started living together six months later. At times his clothes were stained with blood, but Izuku told you he worked as a butcher and it seemed true since he could use knives really well, but that wasn’t the problem; jealousy was. Every nice feeling for each other deteriorated when you talked to him about your male colleague.

From that moment on every time, you checked your phone at least 10 messages where from Izuku and bad words began to fill them every time you didn’t answer him. You were tired of this situation.

“Why can’t I talk with other men?! Why you don’t trust me!?”

You screamed at him. Your whining didn’t last long. The sound of a punch filling the silence of the room. A second later his hands huddled on your neck, suffocating you.

“You are mine is that clear?! IS THAT CLEAR?!” He screamed at you, your face now full of tears and mucus. You could only let out a single choke. Then all of a sudden, Izuku’s eyes got bigger and he loosened his grip on your neck.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)!! What have I done?! I’m so sorry, forgive me!!” Now Izuku was the one with teary eyes, from your mouth came only sighs and coughs; a completely different man standing in front of you.

The next day Izuku couldn’t find any of your belongs inside your once shared house. 

Not even three days of peace passed before you found yourself blindfolded in a humid place with your arms and legs tied. You could still feel the red-hot poker on your stomach; it was burning like hell. Your neck was now exposed, not before a tight knot squeezed it leaving a red sign on it. Your mouth was left untied so he could hear you screaming.

Finally, the blindfold was torn away, your eyes adapting to the dark room and in front of you…Izuku? At least he seemed like Izuku. 

“You need me, why did you leave me?”

It was definitely Izuku.

“You hurt me.” You noticed you weren’t wearing the same thing you wore before you were kidnapped; now a white t-shirt tinted with the red of your blood was tightly hugging your frame, along with the salmon pink pants. 

“You hurt me too!” Izuku screamed directly in your face before he ran away to grab something, it was a small bottle with purple liquid in it. 

“You see this? Well, it’s going to kill you in…umh…5 seconds, maybe 3 if I’m lucky, now, drink it, you useless idiot.”

He was forcing your mouth open with two fingers, you felt like he was violating you and maybe he was, due to the situation, but Izuku hadn’t remembered that you weren’t only cute, but clever too.

Finally, the strings that tied your legs broke and you could kick the bottle out his hands, breaking it. It didn’t take too long to break the strings that tied your hands together.

“Maybe you don’t remember, but since I’m quirkless my parents made me learn some martial arts. Do you remember, “Rabbit”? The face Izuku made at that name made your blood freeze. He was smiling, an insane smile. The kind that makes every hair on your body stand up.

“So you know who I am…you know my agency, we mostly experiment on other people to find more information about quirks, but do you know what we mostly do?” 

You could see that he had something behind his back, probably a gun since you could hear him removing the safeties. You started getting near him, ready to push it out his hand.

“We kill!” It was a knife and you weren’t ready for a knife.

Izuku stabbed you immediately in the head with such power that he broke through your skull. Spurts of blood came out making his face dirtier and dirtier. Your body was already dead on the ground, but he didn’t stop. Even when you were clearly dead, eyes out of the orbits, no pulse or breath left, he continued to stab you. There was more blood on him and on the floor than inside of you. It was incredible how 23 years later, the same day his love for you began, would be the same day he would end your life.

“If you can’t be mine, then you can’t be anyone else’s, is that clear!?” Izuku repeatedly screamed.

“I think you should stop boss, she’s clearly dead..”

From the shadows appeared a tall man; in his hand a gun.

“Y-Yeah maybe I should stop, tell the others to clean the room” Izuku was already a different person; he was calm and composed.

“That’s the leader I know, now do you want to see how the experiments are going? The new hero we took, Katsumi? Katsuki? Well, the one that set explosion by his palms is reacting to the treatments.”

Izuku’s eyes began to shine with joy when he heard the name of the new “guinea-pig”.

“Let’s go, I can’t wait to see it!”

And like that the two men disappeared from the room, leaving your dead body on the ground already with some bugs crawling on it.

2019 - Year in Review

Hello, tumblr journal, long time no see. While you were away I was having rendezvous with 2 other journals - Notion (for work thoughts) and my exercise book (for personal mundane reflections). But you probably already guessed it.

But you see, I always will come back to you because we made a pact to see each other at least twice a year, isn’t it? On June 19 and Dec 31.

So you would like to interview me about what I’ve been up to this year? Oh how kind! There are quite few people in this world is interested in little old me, hee.

1. What are your favourite memories this year?

Tele and phone calls from Jappu. Janchan and I have grown in our friendship this year surprisingly despite her being away for such a long time. I have learnt that long distance friendship is kinda fun (in fact when she was coming back home I was even a bit upset)!

Travelling with Jessi laoniang is always a treat. She is entertaining in her unassuming and authentic ways and I enjoy her cheerful company.

The monthly Kampung Sketching sessions. It’s really cool to see Lingsan overcome her fear of hosting events and now she is a pro. And to see people coming to the kampung for the first time and drawings of the kampung in so many different interesting angles.

2. What trips have you made this year and what were some highlights?

i) Prague work trip with Lulu and Claire - Snow sledding in the mountains, and going to a Czech police station to report a scam, hanging out with chor and gary after work.

ii) New Zealand with the family - Breathtaking mountain views, hiking in the rain in full gear, and skydiving over the glaciers.

iii) Beijing IXDC trip with Jess - The making of our fried chicken MV was so much fun! And eating 小龙虾，鸭脖 and beer at midnight at the hostel corridor.

iv) Boxmeer/Prague/Bruges - Business trip by myself for the first time was kinda liberating, and also getting to visit Eos in Brugge again.

v) BKK UX Savvy trip with the team - boring conference but awesome company. 5am clubbu gymmy and brekki with meowchan.

vi) JB with Lulu and Jan - making up silly animal stories, shiok Thai massage, being tickled at their new hair transformations, and interesting Grab/JB customs adventure to end it off.

3. What is the biggest change you noticed about yourself this year?

I noticed ever since taking on this role in Design Operations, I started to come out of my shell a bit more, wanting to take care of my colleagues and doing things to make sure they are happy at work. Despite being an introvert, I realised I enjoy socialising with people and making people feel comfortable. And i have also become a bit more assertive and confident in things that I believe are right to do.

4. What was the biggest challenge you had to face this year?

Politics at work busted my idealistic bubble. I was a bit upset when I heard stories of people fighting and competing with each other... just for promotion, raises and recognition. Isn’t it ridiculous? But perhaps to survive in the corporate world I have to just do my best and accept that this is normal but try not to get sucked into all the negativity.

Just stay on course, remember what you are here for - to help people solve their problems, and give it your all! Ego is the enemy.

I also learnt that sometimes my happy-go-lucky attitude doesn’t work well on everyone, and might even offend people who takes things very seriously. I need to be careful about that. But it is a tough habit to kick, because sometimes I can get slightly antsy when someone around me is in a bad mood and I don’t know why, and I would want to do something to neutralise that mood.

5. Read any good books?

Ever since I got Libby, I have been devouring new books every month, and I am learning so much! The most impactful to me this year is probably The Power Of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath. And the second one is also by the same author, Switch. These 2 books made me understand more about human psychology and how to motivate people to do things.

Other special mentions are Radical Candor (about how being brutally honest and caring personally is important) and Never Split The Difference (a book on negotiation). I learnt so much from these books that I even made nerdy ppt slides to share them with my friends, forcing them to sit through my presentations, heh. Poor things.

6. Any people you’d like to thank this year?

I can never thank my parents enough for all the things they provide me, so this top spot will always be saved for them. Although they always nag at me, and never emotionally expressive, the things they do for my siblings and I is really unconditional love.

As usual, my UX family whom I spend perhaps even more time than my actual family. This has been a year of experiments and emotional up and downs. But I feel we have learnt and grown a lot together as a team.

And all my friends. Who taught me so many things through their life stories and inspiring me to be better. Thanks to them, just a text, a call, or a meetup away, I am never lonely. (I sometimes do really wonder how that feels like!)

Ajahn Brahm. Hehe, this is a great monk that I have learnt a lot from and he probably has changed my life already. To be kindful, to be gentle, to be peaceful is to be happy.

7. What were some new things you tried this year?

5am club. Exercise regime. Brewing my own filter coffee. Getting more regular in short 15min sittings. Starting a work journal to reflect about things and people at work.

8. Name some of your favourite things of 2019

Ajahn Brahm’s dhamma talks - I always thought that I was a glass-half-full kind of girl but recently after getting hooked onto Ajahn Brahm’s stories on youtube, I became even more so. I also enjoyed repeating those stories to my friends, especially when I thought they could use some positivity to help them see their life difficulties from a different perspective. So much so that even my boss used one of the stories I told to tease me every time i made a very “evon” mistake. (Mmm... honey...)

Sodastream - I bought this for the family so that my brothers would stop buying unhealthy soft drinks. It worked! Mmm.. soda water.

Janchan’s morning challenges - thats how i started waking up early and getting productive in the mornings. But that girl does not follow through to her own challenges, tsk tsk.

Audrey’s life hack for bubble tea cup - use a silicone bag! I have amused many woobbee and each-a-cup aunties when i bring it to dabao my bubble tea.

9. What were your new year resolutions last year and how did you do?

Well well well. Let’s see.

1- Figure out how to be a leader: I am learning a lot just by observing the way boss does things. I hope he can be our leader in many years to come so I will always have the privilege to learn from him.

2 - Being more articulate and assertive: In some ways I realised I have subconsciously learned to do that in situations that requires me to do so. And the trick is just to do it with humble confidence.

3 - Plan more and be less slipshod about things: Hmm... as an operations lead I suppose I should feel guilty about not working on this more. But as I have learnt from a very wise monk, too much planning is futile sometimes, and may cause unnecessary stress on yourself and others, hehe. I kid. I will carry this rezzo forward to next year.

4 - Being more caring with my parents: Still working on it. And sometimes I will tend to fall into my old habits of silent avoidance, especially when they start nagging. But I think this year I have tried being more attentive to their needs, and talking more.

5 - Continue staying healthy: I think I’m doing pretty well in this, especially since starting to wake up super early. I have more time to workout physically with my simple exercise regime, as well as mentally through short meditation sittings and journal writing.

10. Rezzos for 2020 to start the year off of?

1 - Continue working on trying to care more for my parents, and take on more responsibilities regarding household stuff. Make them less worried that their kids can’t be independent without them.

2 - I want to try writing, and develop my own voice. As I learn more about leadership and being human, I thought should document this journey in someway so that perhaps it could help someone else one day on a similar path too.

3 - I’m surprised I didn’t mention anything about money in last year’s post. That is something I’ve always be clueless about. And today I made a ditch attempt to be more “adult” by getting a credit card, so that I can get more interests out of my bank... or something. Yeah, ok I will try to learn more about this finance thing in 2020!

4 - Find a new personal project that can give me a belly burning feeling, that is not work related. Ok la, maybe no need belly burn, just a mild tingle also can. Something that I would be excited to work on for at least a couple of months.

5 - What’s that thing about being less slipshod again? 🤔

After Yuzuru Saeki’s X-Day: Chapter 1 (Saeki Saturday)

I’m not entirely sure how many of these I’ll end up making, but I’m thinking of each part as being a chapter Hopefully you don’t think that it’s too short Also, I wrote this straight after the prologue, before I knew if anyone was interested in more, so if you didn’t want more, I apologise!

February 2nd. 7:00AM

Ichika sat up in her large plush bed, yawning as she did so as she slowly woke from her slumber. Her eyes glanced around the rather large room, one which she was still struggling to get used to, mostly because of it’s sheer size. The room was decorated almost stereotypically for a female. There was a small and a large teddy bear plush on the end of the bed, some shelves, tucked away neatly in a corner, with a chest of drawers and a dressing table/desk placed quite nearby and a wardrobe touched the wall opposite the one her bed was against. A framed picture of a sky was on one wall and a framed photo of herself and Saeki from the Academy was on the other.

Saeki, the only person who had stayed in touch with her since the Academy. After moving away, her parents had cut contact with her and so had her younger brother. It was a shame, but she was relieved that at the very least she had Saeki in her life. He was there to support her and had been for quite some time. The thought was enough to make her smile, knowing she was lucky to at least have him.

The female reluctantly climbed out of bed, instantly missing the warmth it gave to her as soon as she left, however, she was also happy to go to work. She enjoyed being her job as it allowed her to do something good and she enjoyed helping people, especially when she saw the happiness on their faces when she did well. Honestly, the praise from the higher ups didn’t mean anywhere near as much to her.

“Hoshino?” A knock at her door was heard along with a voice which was soon pushed open, revealing a smiling blonde male, one who quickly blushed, seeing she was still in her nightwear. “A-Ah, sorry, Hoshino! I-If you’d have told me you weren’t dressed then I wouldn’t have entered” He said as he rubbed the back of his head in a nervous manner. “I just came to ask if you want some breakfast before you go to work. It’s on the table if you want it” He said before quickly leaving once more, allowing the female to have her privacy once more.

Once more, Ichika was reminded of just how sweet his friend was and she couldn’t help but to giggle. He had told her that men were dangerous at times, and yet, he didn’t seem that way at all, which made her think that maybe he was just different from other men. Perhaps he was much kinder than they all were. She couldn’t see any other man helping her out as much as he did… not that she really knew any other men apart from those she worked with. There were times she felt as though she was forgetting something, especially when strange faces appeared in her dreams, though, she never thought much of it. She simply assumed she had seen them on the street.

Suddenly remembering the breakfast Saeki had prepared, Ichika rushed into her uniform and walked out of the bedroom, inhaling the sweet scent of breakfast as soon as she left her bedroom into the main area of the apartment. She walked into the kitchen to see Saeki sat at the breakfast table, sipping a cup of coffee and reading the morning newspaper. She couldn’t help but to giggle at the sight.

“Ah, Hoshino, you’re here”. He jumped upon hearing her voice, only just managing not to spill the coffee over his own police uniform. “Were you just laughing? Did I do something to amuse you that much?” He asked with one eyebrow raised, though didn’t look annoyed in the slightest. He was never angry. He never minded the things she said or did, though she was worried at times that she had said something which could have potentially upset him.

She shook her head gently. “No, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about how grown up you look like that. It’s completely different from how you were at the Academy” She admitted as she sat herself down at the kitchen table opposite the male, admiring all of the traditional Japanese food on the table.

February 2nd. 12:00AM

Ichika sat at her desk, working away as she usually did while wondering how Saeki was doing. Considering he worked in a police box, she didn’t often see him while the two of them were at work, though they did often get lunch together, so she did wonder when he’d have been able to have a break. The brunette did talk to other people at work, though she never talked to them outside of work. In her eyes, Saeki’s friendship was enough.

“I still can’t believe what happened in Tokyo. I know it was a month ago, but still”. “I know what you mean. It’s even worse because all of those people died and yet, they never even found the culprit. Who knows where he is, and who knows what he’s doing. I can’t help but to shiver just thinking about it”. “Tell me about it! I heard some of the people who died were ex-police too and more skilled than the average officer too! He really must have had skill to kill them all. Let’s hope another case like the X-Days never happens again!”.

While working, she overheard a couple of colleagues talking about something, that was until their boss told them off, saying they should have been working. Just hearing them discuss it had been enough to pique Ichika’s interest and she couldn’t help but to search it. By the sounds of it, the case had been huge, but if it was so big, why had she never heard about it? She searched ‘X-Days’ on the internet and with a simple search, she pulled up millions of results.

'Zero free after incident which took many lives, including those in and connected to the police’

Ichika’s eyes widened, wondering how someone like that had managed to get away with something like that. “Hoshino!” Saeki’s happy voice came from the doorway and she quickly closed the internet window, not entirely sure why her body had felt so rushed to do so. She looked up at the male with a look of confusion, her face obviously asking why he was there. “Well, I was allowed to go to lunch, so I’m here to see if you’re coming with me. Is something wrong?” He asked, picking up on the fact she wasn’t acting quite herself rather quickly. He was concerned, but he was bound to be considering how close they were. Ichika shook her head gently, feeling guilty for having worried the male and quickly stood up from her desk with the intention of heading out to lunch with the blonde, even with the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.

I’m usually not all that confident with my writing, however, I do quite like this xD I still don’t know whether to have her remember everyone, so let me know everyone’s opinions on that I’m also not sure how yandere to make him, so let me know opinions on that too! I am however intending to have both a good and tragic ending, but that will be way in the future.

, Neko

RE:  PINEAPPLE SUNFLOWER SEEDS AND MORE

I don’t know if any you have tried this ridiculous experiment with sunflower seeds and/or pineapple, but the comments and this music video by nut job/ Head Case Floyd MC BBQ have kept me in stitches!! @mcbbq - Big Loads (music video):  https://youtu.be/s7wqVXBTRHI

And I couldn’t stop laughing at this photo:  https://instagram.com/p/BU4jHD1FDj_/ Dyin’ ova' here! This just in; my A&R head honcho Monte Conner tells me that veteran music manager Scott Koenig claims that pure Pumpkin Seed Oil produces HUGE loads! One more thing to try I guess... I have yet to see any results, but it is supposed to take a couple weeks. Below are 3 of the most interesting replies I recieved regarding muslim/gay friends. From:  Peter Southwood Sunflower seeds and pineapple - no fucking idea. Sounds like bullshit. Muslim Friends - Apart from having very few friends anyway, none at the moment. However, I have known plenty, and the one thing I know is that they are people first, Muslim second (unlike the majority of Christians I have met). The Muslim community in the UK don’t even recognise jihadists as being Muslim. They don’t want the three pricks who attacked London on Saturday to be buried with Muslims. Kathy Griffin - It’s all a matter of perspective. If there weren’t beheadings by extremists in the middle east, would we see the picture in a different light? If this were during the election campaign, would we see it as less disgusting? With what Trump has said about Muslims, trying to ban them from going to the US, people could see the image as a jihadist with the presidents head, and therefore an attack on America. Personally, I have no problems with the picture; not funny nor satirical, but controversial and too easy to be misinterpreted by those who want to. Gay friends - Can’t say much about having gay friends; as I mentioned before, I have very few friends as it is, let alone gay ones. However, being gay myself, I find it funny that it’s frowned upon in the metal community. Let’s face it, one of the most popular rock singers was gay (Freddie Mercury), and the main figure behind the leather look that a lot of metal bands and fans adhere to, Rob Halford, got his look from the Leather scene in the gay community! Personally, I’m not worried about being open at a metal gig. In fact, whilst queuing outside the Hammersmith Apollo to see you guys, I got speaking to a couple of others. When they asked if I was married, I told them that my boyfriend and I were waiting for a while. We then went on to have a fucking fantastic time inside. The fact that I’m in the UK and not the US may explain it somewhat; there’s no-where near the level of bigotry over here. There are still some fucktards, but I’ve been lucky enough not to have come across them (not that I would, even if they wanted it!) From:  Waseem Ahmed Mr Flynn A 43 year old Londoner here who’s been listening to your music since 1994, well-kept digipaks of Burn My Eyes and TMTC proudly sat in my music collection, along with your other releases. And a muslim too. And I naturally know shedloads of muslims, both professionally and personally. Last Sunday, I was on the underground on my way to the theatre in the Covent Garden area with my kids. My sister sat opposite me, still heavily mourning the loss of her childhood favourite Chris Cornell. I received a text from a friend in Paris asking me to be careful as emotions would be running high following the London Bridge incidents. I responded that I’d be fine, "I’m wearing a Machine Head t-shirt so everyone will love me." Then it hit me. We’ve reached a point in London, one of the most awesome multicultural cities in the world, where we are now having to explain ourselves and how we differ to the maniacs that wreaked havoc in Manchester and London. Passing questions. All politely asked though. Are you ashamed about what they did? You’re not like those other muslims are you? At that moment, protecting me from any glare was my Bloodstone & Diamonds tour t-shirt. Damn, bad times. My 9-year-old boy is going to his first gigs this year, ticking off Linkin Park and Metallica of his wishlist. He’s scared after hearing about the Ariane Grande concert incident. I’ve told him he will be safe as security has increased everywhere. Fortunately he’s not cottoned onto the muslim label thing yet. That would be heartbreaking to see. I’ve been gigging in London since the age of 17. Classic venues such as The Marquee and Astoria have gone. One thing has remained. The camaraderie at metal gigs, irrespective of faith, skin tone or whatever. Everyone looks after everyone and we’re all there for the same thing. Together. Irrespective of the nonsense taking place in the world, I hope this bond remains throughout my lifetime and beyond. Well now you kinda know another muslim, although via email. If you’re ever in London and fancy a hearty home cooked curry, you’re most welcome to join me and my family. I’ll invite my gay work colleagues too. They are awesome too. And one’s a diehard metaller and one my favourite gig buddies ☺ All the best Waseem From: Svetlana Simanski Subject: Muslims and pineapples Hey Robb, I just read your TGJ email and laughed a lot - what a mix of topics and - since I'm already craving for new MH stuff - I thought the email would maybe an update. Anyway... as a straight girl I have been confronted with the pineapple-hypothesis several times in my life and - until today - in my opinion this is just a way to get girls into BJs a little more. :D Men can never get enough, so they invented this hoax to maybe achieve exactly this. And yes, I already tried to prove the hypothesis. Guess what, the pineapples had no effect at all. If you've ever tasted cum in your life you might know why pineapple-flavor sounds like a nice game-changer. So much on this topic. Now lets get to the muslims. I'm 28 years old right now and I am from Germany. After WW2 there came many guest-workers from Turkey to help us out here, to rebuild the country and most of them stayed, had families and their kids had families themselves, but I never was in touch with them. I met some in my time as a student at university, but never was closer friends with one so I didn't have a chance to get to know the culture or the religion. So, honestly, I had some prejudices. Not from my own experience, but from the word that spread. I live in a big city and we have to deal with some issues here. There are places you shouldn't visit after dark or even whole parts of the city which are not completely safe for white girls in black clothes and without a hijab. Well, of course I had kind of an inner fight with myself and these prejudices. I didn't want to have them at all and since we welcomed like two millions of refugees in Germany over the past two years I decided to work this out for me. Can you believe we still have Nazi-stuff going here in Germany? Didn't they learn anything from history or is it just a story, a bad fairy tale for some people? Honestly, I don't get it. Anyway I took a new job offer at a stationary youth welfare institution and had no idea what to expect. This was kind of an experiment for me and I started six months ago. I work there with 22 refugees. With kids. They came all the way without their parents or any other relatives. The youngest one is 15 years old and he arrived in Germany when he was 13. He did the whole fucking trip vom Afghanistan to Germany by himself. This age I played with barbie or tried out how to look good with make-up. Those were my problems. Wow... I thought I had to go through some things in my life, but I realized it was nothing compared to what they did to come here. What they had to do in their countries to basically survive. They killed for the Taliban to save their families. Can you imagine? No, neither can I. So now I know like 26 muslims (my boss and some coworkers are muslims as well) and I love them all. The kids are so kind and so cute, help- and respectful. You can't imagine. For me this changed everything in my life. Before this job I couldn't image to have a romantic relationship with a muslim, now I can. Besides... they're all a little too young, but in ten years from now... I'd see a bunch of handsome and polite young men from Afghanistan and I can tell you, there are some really, really special characters among them. Just awesome. I got to know their culture a little bit, their habits and routines in religious practice and I even started to learn a little Persian. My job is to look after them in any situation and explain the pitfalls of german bureaucracy. We are also friends somehow, they tell me stories about their lives in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq and Eritrea - sad and happy ones - and this is basically all I need. This job just gives me back so much. The love and the kindness you get back from these kids is amazing. It took some time to realize: I'm part of their lives now, I am somehow their sister, mother, aunt and friend at the same time. I can't write down all my experiences here, but I wanted to let you know at least a small part of my story and how this job changed my view, my behavior, my thinking and the way I speak to others about muslims or their culture, especially from Afghanistan. I'm hoping my English isn't too bad and you can somehow imagine what I tried to describe. Hope to see you in Germany in 2018. I'll be there, somewhere in the crowd. Cheers from Germany, Svetlana

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Tears and rage after Congress rejects franchise renewal of the Philippines’ biggest media network

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New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/tears-and-rage-after-congress-rejects-franchise-renewal-of-the-philippines-biggest-media-network/

Tears and rage after Congress rejects franchise renewal of the Philippines’ biggest media network

An ABS-CBN worker raises her fist during a protest condemning the non-renewal of the network's franchise. Photo from the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines, used with permission.

This article by Raymund B. Villanueva is from Kodao, an independent news site in the Philippines, and is republished on Global Voices as part of a content-sharing agreement. With research by Jo Maline D. Mamangun. “Ma, hanggang August 31 na lang po ako sa ABS-CBN,” Jon Montesa, TVPlus brand communications manager, told his mother upon learning of his retrenchment last Thursday, July 16. (Mom, my ABS-CBN employment ends on August 31.)

For additional context, read the statement of journalists condemning the Congress decision to reject the franchise renewal bid of ABS-CBN. The closure of the media network reflects the decline of press freedom under the government of President Rodrigo Duterte.

Like Montesa, hundreds of other workers had to inform their families that their worst fears as workers of the Philippines’ biggest media network had come true. Throughout the day, tears flowed in the many offices inside the ABS-CBN compound as unit heads delivered the sad news to their colleagues. Montesa blamed the 70 legislators who voted to deny the Philippines’ media network a new franchise to continue operating last July 10. He added:

Hindi lang trabaho ang kinuha nila sa amin. Pangarap at kinabukasan. ‘Yun ang ninakaw sa amin. I've worked so hard for this. ‘Di ko naman nakuha ‘to sa isang iglap lang eh. Pero sa isang iglap lang, mawawala na ang lahat. Hindi kayo makatao.

In my nearly five years in the network, I never thought I would say this to my family. They not only took away our jobs. Our dreams and future, these are the things they took away from us. I’ve worked so hard for this. I did not get it easily. But it’s gone in an instant. You are inhumane!

It is not only ordinary employees like Montesa who are being given their dismissal slips. Even those who have been on millions of television screens for decades and expected to survive the bloodbath of jobs have been retrenched. Award-winning broadcast journalist and news presenter Ces Oreña-Drilon tweeted:

This was one of the toughest days I had to face. Telling fellow kapamilyas that they would lose their jobs by end of August. I lost mine too. https://t.co/s19MXXvjvy — Ces Oreña-Drilon (@cesdrilon) July 16, 2020

Kapamilya, which means family member, is ABS-CBN's brand name. Thousands more are expected to be dismissed until August as the company scrambles to stop the financial hemorrhage it had been suffering since the Philippine government issued a cease and desist order on ABS-CBN’s operations. The network is reported to be losing around 30 million pesos (600,000 US dollars) a day since May 5 but with its franchise denied by Congress, it could no longer keep all of its more than 11,000 workers. “We should consider ourselves lucky if 50% of us are retained until the end of the year,” a source told Kodao. Radio channel MOR 101.9 DJ Czarina “DJ Chacha” Balba said it is not only at the network’s corporate headquarters in Quezon City that the retrenchment is ongoing.

There are many MOR radio stations in the entire Philippines. It is not only here in Manila that colleagues are losing jobs. Yesterday, our bosses informed us the MOR network only has until August 31.

Balba revealed this is her first job after college and she considers it her “first and forever love.” She said it is not all about her salary but the despair of leaving what she considers her home in the past 12 years. She added:

On top of that, you would no longer be working with your friends nor would you be allowed to visit them because it is prohibited (because of the pandemic).

The loss of income is harder for most employees, on top of the bleak prospects of finding new employment while the coronavirus pandemic rages worldwide. An ABS-CBN employee told Kodao she is now watching YouTube videos on soap-making, thinking of joining the online selling community once retrenched. Upon learning of Congress’ rejection of ABS-CBN’s franchise, employee Jonathan Samson announced he is selling his beloved collection of scooters. Broadcast journalist Adrian Ayalin is not among those dismissed this week, but it does not insulate him from uncertainty and the pain. He wrote on Facebook:

Friends if there are communication-related job opportunities you know of, please (message) me. My Kapamilyas who were retrenched are in need of jobs right now and it is really difficult for them to look for new work in this time of pandemic. And who knows, I and my other colleagues might be next. So we need as many job opportunities as possible.

ABS-CBN Supervisory Employees Union president Raul de Asis lays the massive loss of jobs squarely on President Rodrigo Duterte’s feet.

Aaminin ko sa lahat na talagang ibinoto ko ang Pangulong Duterte. Yung mga kasamahan natin sa probinsiya, sa RNG (regional network group), ibinoto din siya…Talagang iniisip nila na ibinoto natin ‘tong presidenteng ito, na gaganda ang buhay natin lahat, giginhawa ang buhay natin lahat. Pero hindi alintana na ganito na ‘yung mangyayari sa aming lahat na sumuporta sa kaniya. Ito ba ang kapalit ng aming pagboto sa kaniya? Kikitilin ang aming hanapbuhay? Gugutumin ang aming pamilya? Hindi na kami makatulong sa aming mga kamag-anak at kapatid at magulang? Sobrang masakit po.

I admit I voted for President Duterte, along with our colleagues from the RNG (regional network group). We thought our lives would be better if we voted for him. We never thought he would do this to those who supported him. Is this what we get for voting for him? Killing our jobs? Making our families go hungry? We will no longer be able to help our relatives, siblings and parents. This is beyond painful.

In a speech before soldiers in Jolo, Sulu last week, Duterte admitted wanting the network closed. But even before the network’s franchise bid was formally rejected, Duterte’s close ally Senator Ronald dela Rosa had already warned that ABS-CBN employees should start looking for other jobs. The shock of losing jobs and the shutdown of their company prodded employees to react in various ways. Balba asked:

[M]ay iba pa pong department ang ABS-CBN na stop operations muna. So ipagdasal niyo po ang ibang empleyado na kagaya naming lahat.

Other departments will stop operations. So, pray for the other employees who will be jobless like us.

Oreña-Drilon for her part stayed hopeful:

Babangon din ang mga #kapamilya. (We will rise up.) This may be our darkest hour. But don’t lose hope.

Many, like Montesa, however, have held nightly noise barrages at ABS-CBN’s Sgt. Esguerra gate since July 13, heavily filling the air with the banging of gongs, clanging of makeshift noisemakers and sounding horns of cars driving around the network compound in a two-hour motorcade. Enraged, they vow to make those responsible for their uncertain future pay.

Ako, #KapamilyaForever. Kayo, hindi forever. #ManiningilAngKasaysayan

I am Family Forever. You are not forever. History will make you pay.

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Here’s How One Woman Beat The Gender Pay Gap And Asked For A Raise

Courtesy Caitlin Boston

Caitlin Boston (center) and friends in a video she made to celebrate paying off her student loans.

Do you know that feeling of jumping into a metallic, purple catsuit to express your joy through interpretive dance with two backup dancers costumed in money signs? Probably not, unless you too have experienced the blinding exhilaration of paying off more than $200,000 in student loans. Caitlin Boston knows this feeling — it took her 10 years to get there. And it might have taken longer if she hadn’t asked a simple question of her colleagues.

She uploaded her whirlwind celebration to YouTube.

By the time Boston graduated in 2009, she had a master’s in social psychology and two undergraduate degrees in anthropology and American studies. Altogether, she had $147,602 in student loans.

On Tuesday, Aug. 6 — what would have been her late father’s 72nd birthday — Boston made her final payment on her student loans, which, including interest, added up to $222,817. In her dance video, she explained how she paid off what seemed to be an impossible amount of debt. “I did it all by my single freaking self, as in, no family passing me $$$ at any point,” she wrote in the caption to her video. “It was hard but I did it and I did it alone because I am a f****** boss.”

Hard is an understatement: When she was earning a low hourly wage, “in any given month, I had between $62 and $74 left in my checking account,” she recalled in an interview with BuzzFeed News.

But today, at age 35, she said, “I’m free. I’m freaking free!”

Boston pointed out that she never missed a payment or took off much time from work, even after her father died by suicide. Above all, she said, the most important thing that helped her pay it off: realizing she should be getting paid more by asking her peers if they were making over or under a certain amount. At some point, you can’t cut back on your lifestyle any more.

“Ask your other peers what they make — especially your male ones. It might make you feel uncomfortable but it’s the sole reason I started making an additional 41% a year.” For Boston, that was a life-changing amount — tens of thousands of dollars more than she had been making.

Boston dedicated the video — and her final payment — to her father: “I’ve thought about you and this debt every single day since you’ve been gone. So this win, it’s for you too.”

BuzzFeed News spoke to Boston about how she ended up with six-figure student debt, how she managed not to miss a payment, and what led her to start asking people around her — especially men — how much money they made. Here’s what she said:

My family is super working class. My dad was a police officer in Baltimore and my mom was a homemaker. I’m adopted. We never talked about the cost of college. There were periods when I was growing up when there were concerns about money, but my family never really spoke to me about it. We always had money for food, and there were always some new clothes for school. We could afford a house and a car and all these other things. But education — that’s an extraneous cost when you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

I didn’t have a concept of the amount of money that they were taking out for me. I wasn’t even aware of the amount of work that they had to put in until I was going on my third year to study abroad. I had to sign a paper for a loan for $32,000. That was the first time I’d seen a number attached to the debt. And it was for one semester to study abroad in London.

I asked my parents, what is that amount? They didn’t know. They weren’t aware what the total was for all of my loans because it was spread across so many different loans and different types of loans and they were just like, “Well, if you don’t sign this we can’t afford to send you to London.” So they’re sending me stuff to sign and I was signing it. I was just like, “Okay, whatever, I need to do it to get to school.” My parents didn’t have really great money management skills.

I went to grad school, and in my spring of my final year, my parents told me they thought I had six figures in student debt. That’s when I was like, what?

I 100% wish I had learned about money in high school. I wish I understood what debt meant. I didn’t even understand what interest meant. I wish they’d sat me down before any of us signed any papers to just be like, “This is how much money you’ll have to make to pay this off” — at a minimum. Just laid out, in black and white, what the logistics of managing any type of debt looked like so I could make more informed decisions.

That’s how I graduated into the recession in 2009, and that’s the legacy that I have lived through. It was pretty bleak. I was applying for jobs anywhere, and I was very lucky and privileged enough to land a paid internship. When I wasn’t working, I was spending the better part of those first six months after graduating just trying to understand how much money I owed, where that money was, who I owed it to, and how to set up payment plans. The total amount that I was expected to pay on that first bill was just over $1,400 — and I was working a paid internship for about minimum wage in Washington, DC.

I was completely beside myself looking at this number. I called my dad and was like, “Can you help me?” And he just said no. He didn’t apologize. It was a very straightforward conversation. He was like, “There’s no way I can help you — you’re going to have to figure this out.” I’ve seen friends of mine being informally coached by people — family friends, other family members — who had already navigated that landscape. But there are folks who have to make it through this wilderness without a map.

I realized I needed another job, so I picked up additional work at a running shoe store and started doing some freelance work doing design research for nonprofits. I lived in a vegan, gluten-free, soy-free, queer community house for $425 in rent. We cooked for each other. That’s why I was able to pay my loans and not accrue credit card debt, because I was living in a community of people that shared expenses and food with each other as a rule for living in the house. And we were rockin’ around with some of the most affordable parts of the food pyramid. I bought a bike because I couldn’t afford a Metro card, but it got stolen and I had to buy another bike.

By the end of any month, with all my bills paid, I had between $62 and $74 left in my checking account.

When you have nothing left to cut, when you’re down to the bone, what can you do? Make more money.

Later, I got a full-time job with a labor union and started making a salary of about $48,000, and I could drop the work at the running shoe store; I kept doing the freelance work. Still, mentally, I just could never get around how I was going to pay off $147,000 in debt.

When you have nothing left to cut, when you’re down to the bone, what can you do? Make more money. I didn’t have a partner or kids, so I moved to New York. I knew that my earning potential would be better there, and my work opportunities would be far greater.

In my next job, I got a pay jump to $72,000 and landed with a roommate in an apartment that, to this day, is very affordable. That’s been my number one strategy wherever I’ve lived — to keep my housing expenses as manageable as possible.

My dad died of suicide in 2013 and had about $50,000 to $60,000 in credit card debt that my mom had to pay off with the life insurance he left her. I have to imagine that the debt was weighing on him — one of the many things, of course, but a significant one, nevertheless. It was terrible watching her navigate the finances of death, much less the bureaucracy. That was the moment I realized, I’m not dying in debt. There’s no more playing around here. I can’t go down like that.

Bit by bit, I had been making progress on my loan, and by that I mean I paid off approximately $15,000 of the principal. I eventually consolidated all my debts with SoFi after running into a guy who worked at SoFi when I went on a boating trip in the Amazon in Brazil after my father died. I realized I hadn’t been able to really get a handle on my loans because so much of my payments had just been going to interest. But I needed to be done with this.

I left the nonprofit world and got a job at a design agency. I ended up loving it. Almost two years into the job, I was making pretty high five figures, so not a small amount of money, but with that level of debt, it’s still not enough to really be making a ton of headway on what I still owed. So I go up for my biannual review and I was like, “Listen, I just helped to bring in a $5 million piece of business, here are all of the other things I’ve done, and I think I deserve a raise.” And my boss just said that I just wasn’t ready for a raise yet.

I went out to dinner that night with three of my coworkers: a South Asian and Middle Eastern woman who had seven years of just banging job experience, a black woman with a PhD in cognitive psych and more than a decade of job experience, and a white woman who was 24 and had been working for like two years. It was review time, and we’d all been told a very similar story when we’d asked for our raises, and we were all very annoyed if not just outright upset. At one point we just started telling each other our salaries as we sat there. Every single one of us was making the same amount of money, including our 24-year-old coworker who only had two years of job experience.

So I was like, “OK, I’m going to give you a number and I want you to tell me if you make over or under that number.”

We had all of the postdoc credentials or all the job experience you could ask for, and we’re still all being paid the same as a 24-year-old white woman. She’s a wonderful, incredibly hardworking, and deserving person, but this is not about who she is; it’s about how three other women of color at that table with more experience, the same work ethic, and ability to deliver at work were all being paid the same thing.

I went to work the next day and decided to talk to one of my white male coworkers. I said, “Hey, so what are you making?” He, being a normal American person, was like, “Oh, I don’t want to talk about money.” So I was like, “OK, I’m going to give you a number and I want you to tell me if you make over or under that number.” And I said a solid six figure number. And he said, “Under.” I went down by $10,000. He was like, “Over.” And that was all I needed. I was, like, well, there you go, I’m making at least $20,000 a year less than you. This coworker had the exact same job background, and the exact same master’s degree, and similar time at the company as me. There was no reason for this kind of pay discrepancy.

So then I just went to LinkedIn and looked up everyone at every company in New York, San Francisco, and LA with my job title and seemingly with my background in terms of education and experience. I blasted dozens — and I’m talking dozens — of people with the same email, saying, “Hey, I’m looking to make a career jump into one of the big tech companies, and I just want to know what you’re making. Can you just tell me, are making over or under X?” I got three responses back.

One guy’s response was: “If you have this amount of years of experience the industry minimum in a major job market is this.” That was pretty much what the other two women who wrote back did as well. They were within 10% of each other, comfortably six figures. Which was crazy.

Coming from a background where your family does not make a ton of money, I couldn’t even fathom asking for that amount of money until I got so angry and I felt entitled to it.

I started interviewing like crazy. I mean, I was on fire. Even though I was super happy in my job, I kept on thinking that if I’m being paid literally tens of thousands of dollars less than what I should be making, and I’m working this hard, I might as well be making the money that men in my industry are. I’m not going to work for a place that doesn’t respect my value.

I got hired by Etsy. I told them what I wanted, and that was what happened. I got a pay jump of about 41%, so tens of thousands of dollars. These are not small numbers.

I am in a really privileged and exceptional position of being able to make a jump into tech. But it wouldn’t have happened if I had not had amazing women coworkers who were willing to have a moment of vulnerability with me at that table, and a couple of dudes willing to be good allies.

The thing is, no one is going to help you figure out how much you need to make. You need to be really proactive and ask how much you’re going to make.

Now I work at another tech company. The only thing that has changed about me making more money is that I see my acupuncturist more regularly. I have a therapist I see weekly. And I buy vitamins. My lifestyle hasn’t changed except for my ability to access health care. I haven’t taken big vacations. I don’t buy a ton of stuff. I don’t go out to a ton of restaurants. I am 35, and this is the first year I am putting more than $50 per month into my 401(k).

This is what privilege is — to have a casual conversation with gatekeepers.

I don’t know if my degrees in and of themselves were worth it or if I could have gotten the same education for a much cheaper price tag. But what I do know is that because of where I went to grad school, I no longer doubt my value or my worth.

I paid off just under 50% of the total loan amount in 2019. When I made my final payment and made the video, I said, I’m going to wear this fucking traditional Korean crown that’s primarily associated with weddings at this point. I can wear it to celebrate myself and my accomplishments. I’m doing this for myself. I wanted the video to be a genuine expression of joy and celebration that reflected that in spite of this debt that has taken so much out of me, spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally.

I still ask the over/under question. I’ve also flat-out told some of my junior teammates what I make. I’m here to tell them what they should be shooting for. There’s a burden that we carry by not sharing what we’re making with each other. It perpetuates this idea that it’s all up to you to figure out how much you should be making, when really you are working for a series of employers who have pay bands, or salary caps, or freelance amounts set by what people are willing to work for. All that the secrecy has done is put the burden — and the shame — on the individual. The only way to circumnavigate that fucking capitalist bullshit, which is built on secrecy, is by having these incredibly uncomfortable conversations.

This is what privilege is — to have a casual conversation with gatekeepers. I was always jealous of friends whose parents were able to set them up for a coffee, an email, or a phone conversation with these people, because it’s those things that give you not only a network, but a spectrum of what you’re worth. That is what I think so many people do not have access to, and that’s one of the reasons why I am vociferous about talking about this.

I didn’t really have that privilege, and I think more people need to be talking about this and be willing to share. But I do have the privilege of rage. ●

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

Sahred From Source link Technology

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