#mutuals if u would like to see PLEASE hit me up i am so in love w their designs so far | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seungrem · 2 months

Text

Han Jisung x m!reader

‘Close Enough’ ~*+

summary: Before leaving for the day, han asks reader to check a supposed injury that he has. While examining the boy, reader uncovers his true intentions.

( normal smut, top!han x bttm!reader, intern!reader x idol!han, mutual feelings/crush )

a/n: posting this just to hold u guys over until i finish part 2 of chan’s fic :))

emoji code:

🌱 ( oneshot / short fic - around 3k words )

❄️ ( smut, minors DNI, 18+ )

☁️ ( y/n )

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

After an easy day of wrapping up a project, it was now 2 am- meaning that ☁️ could finally go home. A member of the staff, the boy quickly assisted his team in packing up their equipment from the home.

Though the majority of the staff began to leave, ☁️ decided to check in with each member before he left as well. Saying his goodbyes to all but one, the boy approached the last room down the hall. ☁️ slowly drew closer to the door, knocking lightly. While waiting for a response, he repositioned the bag around his shoulder to sit comfortably.

“Han? Are you in here?” ☁️ opened the door, slowly inching into the room. A dim, orange lamp was on, but there was no sign of the idol. He looked around the room to make sure Han wasn’t hiding, which he’d done many times before.

After seeing no sign of him, ☁️ turned around and walked back out of the room. He slowly pulled the door, walking out with his back against the hallway and shutting it lightly.

“What are you doing?” Han asked with a bit of confusion. In the distance, ☁️ turned to see Han put a hand into his grey jeans, though his black shirt was barely visible due to the hallway’s dimness. Han raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

“Ah, I was looking for you. I wanted to check in with everyone before I left.”

“There is something I need you to check.. but most of the other staff left, and the members are sleeping. I don’t wanna make you stay later.”

“Oh, no, I honestly don’t mind. What is it that you need?” ☁️ watched as Han walked towards him, the idol then grabbing his hand as he walked past. Han placed the boy’s hand on his chest as the two sat on the idol’s bed. As the door slowly closed itself, ☁️ looked at the boy in confusion.

“I hurt myself today while filming. Do you remember when I.. you know..”

☁️ nodded and would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so flustered. That orange hue glistening across the side of Han’s face made it too easy to admire him.

“So.. would you mind getting rid of the knot in my chest?”

☁️ tilted his head in confusion. “I don’t think it’s possible to get a knot in your chest, Han. Are you sure it’s a knot..?”

Using his own hand, Han directed ☁️’s hand around his chest. The boy felt two large bumps, but he was sure it was just Han showing off his pec muscles. Remembering the incident from earlier, through, ☁️ thought about how hard Han had actually fallen.

“I’m sure, when I landed I hit my chest.. Please, it hurts, ☁️.” Han practically whined at this point, and it wasn’t like ☁️ didn’t believe him. He released his hand from Han’s grasp, thinking about the different medical products that he had in his bag. Pulling it off his shoulder, he dug his hand into the pocket to find the analgesic (pain relieving) cream.

“I have topical analgesic in my bag. Let me rub it on so the pain goes away.” ☁️ twisted his torso to face the rest of the bed, taking things out of the bag until he found the cream that he was looking for. ☁️ felt Han’s gaze as he took out a small tube.

“Anal- what?”

“What?” ☁️ stopped what he was doing to look over at Han, visibly baffled. The idol gave the boy next to him a suggestive smirk.

“You want it?”

“Han, what the hell are you talking about?”

“What do you mean?”

“Shut up and lay back.” ☁️ instructed as he took the tube from out of his bag. Han climbed onto the bed, him then taking his shirt off. The boy’s skin was smooth, but his body was much more toned than ☁️ thought. The orange lamp’s soft glow against the room’s dimness made Han’s abs seemingly pop out of his stomach. His pecs were noticeably large, too, with a noticeable bruise on the left muscle.

Shaking his head, ☁️ climbed onto the bed- only an inch or two next to Han. ☁️ sat on his knees as he spread the cream on his hands, and then across Han’s pec. Han couldn’t help but smile as he felt ☁️’s fingertips softly brush against his chest.

“Am I hurting you?” ☁️ asked as he continued to focus on the pec muscle.

“Nah, you’re making me feel really good.” Han said, placing a hand behind his head. After a minute, Han’s skin absorbed the cream and there was nothing else to rub in.

“All good?” ☁️ asked, him looking up from the bruise to the boy’s smiling face.

“I think something else hurts too, ☁️.”

“What hurts, Han?” ☁️ asked, rolling his eyes. He knew he was falling victim to the idol’s charm.

“Could you feel right here?” Han flexed his right arm and used his left hand to point at the muscle. ☁️ huffed, though he placed a leg over Han’s waist with a smile. He leaned over Han’s upper body while feeling the bicep.

“Feels normal, Han..”

“Oh.. How about you feel right there? That seems sore..” Han looked down at where ☁️ sat on top of him.

“Here?” ☁️ placed both of his hands over Han’s abs.

“Nahh, lower.”

☁️ moved his hands down to Han’s jean button. “Here?”

Han smirked and placed both hands behind his head. “Close enough.”

☁️’s body turned hot as he slowly unbuttoned Han’s jeans. With help, ☁️ pulled the boy’s jeans down and yanked them off, him throwing them aside. He took his own pants off, then climbed back on the bed to hover over Han.

“Does it hurt anywhere else?” ☁️ asked, placing a hand on each side of Han’s head. Han placed his hands on Car’s waist as the two locked eyes.

“How about I check you out, hm? I’ll make sure there aren’t any bruises that I need to take care of.” Han tugged at ☁️’s top, helping him take it off to expose more of his skin. Han felt up the boy’s torso carefully as ☁️ placed himself on Han’s waist again. The boy slowly rubbed against the bulge he sat on as Han looked at him expectantly.

“Maybe there’s one thing you can help me with.”

☁️ lifted his ass off of Han, twisting his head and torso to look behind him. He lifted his left ass cheek up with his hand, Han noticing and grinning. The idol licked his lips as he lifted his upper body from the bed. Grabbing both of ☁️’s asscheeks, he placed kisses along the boy’s neck and chest.

“If you bend over,.. then I’d really be able to help you.” Han whispered between kisses. With ☁️ already whimpering at the sensations, he immediately did as suggested. The boy lifted his legs over Han to turn his body around. After, ☁️ softly placed his head on the bed, him then raising his ass in front of Han.

The two now in their underwear, Han lifted his entire body to kneel behind ☁️. The idol pushed the erection in his boxers into ☁️’s ass, brushing against it slowly. He placed a hand on each side of the boy’s hips, vigorously gripping them. Too horny to think, ☁️ couldn’t help but whimper as he pushed his ass into Han’s erection.

“Is that where you want me to relieve your pain? Seems like it hurts pretty bad..” Han slipped his hands down into ☁️’s underwear, fondling his asscheeks.

“Just hurry up.” ☁️ muttered as he reached behind him, pulling his underpants down to his knees. He looked behind him as Han fumbled with a bottle of liquid and small square wrapper. Han rubbed the liquid on his fingers, then across ☁️’s asshole, it dripping down. ☁️ yelled out when Han shoved two of his fingers in directly after, slowly moving them back and forth.

“Ah- You couldn’t warn me?”

“You said to hurry.”

Han’s snarky response caused ☁️ to roll his eyes and rest his head on the bed again. He lightly moaned as Han continued to slowly finger him, though he quickly became impatient.

“Han, just put it in.” He mumbled, though Han grinned at the instruction.

“If you say so.”

Han pulled his fingers out of ☁️’s ass, and quickly yanked his underwear off. ☁️ turned his head to admire Han’s muscular body as it lined up behind him, the boy turning him on even more. ☁️ felt Han put the tip of his dick against his hole. Without warning, Han shoved his entire length into ☁️, causing the boy to cry out in pain. The idol leaned over the boy to cover his mouth. He rested his chest against ☁️’s back, placing his mouth beside the boy’s ear.

“Not so loud, I don’t wanna share that moan with the other members.”

“Why’d you shove it all in?” ☁️ whispered on the verge of tears.

“You asked.”

Han lifted his body off of ☁️’s back, his hands gripping the boy’s hips again. He pulled out slowly, moving his dick in and out so that ☁️ could get used to it. ☁️ continued to moan out as Han’s big dick stretched his hole with each stroke.

“Good?” Han placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Yea,” ☁️ responded, still whimpering.

Han pulled his dick almost all the way out, and paused. Wondering why he stopped, ☁️ felt another hand grab his shoulder. Just as the boy was about to turn around, Han thrusted his dick entirely into ☁️ again, making him yelp. He continuing fucking ☁️ quickly, causing the boy to release loud moans. Han covered his mouth with one of his hands, the sound of ☁️’s ass clapping against his hips making him go feral.

☁️’s legs spread apart as Han continued to thrust into him, with muffled whimpers filling the silence. Han finally began to slow down, him releasing his grasp on ☁️’s face. The two caught their breaths as ☁️ pushed Han’s dick out of him.

Han laid in front of ☁️ on the bed, wrapping an arm around the boy. “Did that help, or do I need to try something else?”

☁️ still catching his breath, he pulled Han’s face into his, the two locking lips. As they sloppily made out, Han lifted the boy up and off the bed. ☁️ wrapped his legs around the idol as they continued to stick their tongues into each other’s mouths.

Han walked to the other end of the bed, the two separating their faces as he placed ☁️ down in between the pillows. The idol climbed on top of him, the two rolling over so that Han now laid with his back on the bed. ☁️ sat on top of Han again, grabbing his dick and placing it in between his asscheeks. Han helped push down ☁️’s thighs as his dick went all the way inside of the boy.

☁️ moaned out loudly as he began riding the boy under him. He placed both of his hands on Han’s chest as he hopped up and down. Han smiled as he squeezed ☁️’s asscheeks in response, directing them up and down as he rode him.

After speeding up and slowing down, ☁️ leaned over to make out with Han. The idol moved his hands from the boy’s ass to his chin, holding his face as the two kissed.

☁️ lifted their faces apart, him then running a hand through Han’s hair. The idol pushed the boy closer to leave hickeys on his neck, him then kissing his collarbone.

As ☁️ leaned over Han, the idol thrusted his waist upward, shoving his big dick back into ☁️. Out of breath and a moaning mess, ☁️ placed his hands on each side of Han’s head and took the dick that Han was shoving inside of him. Han’s waist clapped against ☁️’s ass as he thrusted into him, each one becoming more aggressive and sloppier than the last. Han’s big dick and grin were making ☁️ leak despite him not stroking.

“It’s my turn to give you cream.” Han whispered hazily as he threw ☁️ off of his dick. ☁️ fell on his back, watching as Han climbed back on top of the him. The idol stroked his dick aggressively as he leaned over and shoved his tongue into ☁️’s mouth. ☁️ wrapped an arm around Han’s neck as the idol stroked his big dick, Han’s chest brushing against his. Using his free hand, ☁️ jacked his off too.

After a minute, Han’s muffled breath became whimpers, him throwing his head back as he came all over ☁️’s stomach. The idol stroked over ☁️ some more before collapsing on top of the boy. Han rested his chin in the boy’s shoulder, laying all of his weight on top of ☁️.

“Think that took care of those knots?” ☁️ asked as he stroked Han’s hair. The boy’s legs were spread apart as Han’s twitching dick rested in between them.

“Close enough,” Han muttered, his face pressed into the bedsheets. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

☁️ smiled at the comment and continued to play with the boy’s hair. “Don’t make these little injuries a habit.”

“Why not, don’t you like me, too?” Han questioned, his voice still muffled by the sheets.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Seemed you really liked helping me out with my bruise, either way.”

Han lifted his body off of ☁️, rolling over and dragging the boy with him. ☁️ was now laying on top of the idol, the two locking eyes.

“Maybe next time you can me out instead.”

“I see a bruise on your neck, so.. how about tomorrow?” Han smiled as he placed his hands on ☁️’s ass, fondling his cheeks. ☁️ smiled back bashfully, giving the boy a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Maybe.”

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

a/n: old draft, hope u enjoyed :) since u guys want part 2 of chan’s fic so badly i’ll start working on it ♡

242 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

168 notes · View notes

wispstalk · 25 days

Text

20 questions for writers

under the cut. Thanks to @everybodyknows-everybodydies for tagging🖤

Tagging back: @nuwanders @jiubilant @ervona @ehlnofay @druidx @blossom-adventures @sylvienerevarine @throughtrialbyfire @da3drat no pressure

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

198327

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just elder scrolls. I have a feeling that's gonna be it for me. I've been tempted to write stardew valley fic lately which would perhaps be classed as "crack" (I know what that is in theory but the way people use it makes no sense to me) but I took a cursory look at the tag and I don't think the stardew valley fandom is ready for a ray fic lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Well. I have five.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try 🫠 it haunts me how often I've left my beloved mutuals on read..... but if that's u and I did, I am telepathically beaming this: !!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Making out sloppy style etc etc

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lol. lmao even

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

.....within AO3 I guess it's "Morning" but also that's set at a refugee camp? I will say the skyrim story will have a more peaceful ending but up until now fic writing has been an outlet for my thwarted rage and covid brain damage soooo

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I mean this is generally a culture of positive feedback. Someone did yell at me once for hitting martin septim with the transgender beam which is a level of no-life-havin loserdom which could be classed as "hate" but came off as pure cope and seethe

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I really bristle at the word smut sorry its too cutesy. I was a prodomme for seven years I don't do euphemisms lol. I wrote a sex scene into IITT to see how I felt about writing sex scenes. I learned that I am only interested in writing them if they serve specific functions. I have absolutely zero judgment toward anyone who wants to write about fuckin and suckin, that's just not why I'm here

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No but recently my household watched game of thrones together and my bf and his brother were cracking jokes like what if one of these medieval characters had a gundam. Neither of them read fic so I was like don't be too entertained by yourselves. I bet that has been written. looked it up on ao3 and sure as shit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm not gonna lie I did find a fic where someone very obviously ripped me off but I don't wanna call them out. One specific instance where they bit my style was so clumsily applied as to be obvious, but their prose in general was fantastic so like. who care.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know but that would make me holler

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nope. I'm not opposed to the idea but it's hard to imagine how I'd do this given my process. I think I'd be pretty difficult to work with

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

?!? I dunno I don't have one. I put a lot of effort into writing martinhok but I could not say that one, due to how overwhelmingly heterosexual the tag is. I'm sorry but can everyone who's not a faggot please pipe down

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have my moments with the skyrim wip. I've signed myself up for something pretty complicated and challenging but I also learned that I can finish things so I'm not really worried about it. The fact of the matter is: I do not care if this is good. It matters that it is done so I can move on with my life. If parts of it are boring and overlong that's yalls problem

16. What are your writing strengths?

I get a lot of compliments on my worldbuilding. I do think a lot about the minutiae of material culture and think I have a talent for incorporating detail in engaging ways

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a cornball. This is a corny activity. I don't really care because I'm doing it for free. Enjoy the unsolicited view into an internet stranger's terrible psyche

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I try to apply with a light hand. I'm a dumbass sheltered American and I can mostly make myself understood in a Spanish-speaking country but that's about it. I like playing around with language and the idea of multilingual societies matters to me so I include it, but I'm not a linguist so I try to work within my limits. Whether I am successful at this is up to others.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Elder scrolls. Never felt compelled until i spent a winter playing oblivion and went wow this game has an incredibly bleak narrative behind a silly aesthetic. Oops now I'm in a lore pit

20. Favorite fic you've written?

The Nature of Fire is my best prose hands down. I'm gonna be real with y'all I am desperate for people to read it. It is genuinely the best I can do at this point and if you like what I've done so far, well, whatever u read sucks compared to this fic.

25 notes · View notes

just-my-type-x · 2 years

Text

Everything I Didn't Say

This isn't a request, but i needed to let some things off my chest and i thought this could help. I hope u'll still enjoy it. I'm still not coming back for a week or so, so I'll let u with this for now

Pic not mine

You've reached Colby Brock, please leave a message after the beep cuz I'm probably hunting some ghosts now and I'll get back to you beep

I take a deep breath and my hamd shakes on the phone.

"Hey, Colby. It's been a while. I don't know if you still know me. I'm y/n y/l/n, we used to be friends a while back.", i chuckle, my voice shaky because of the emotion. "I know it's weird calling you out of the blue... I don't know why I'm doing this because i will never actually let this voice message to come through. I guess i just needed to get it off my chest.", i sigh and look at the seconds of the voice message turning into one minute. I have two more minutes until the voice message gets automatically sent.

"You're probably asking yourself why is this girl calling you, she doesn't know either, she just felt the need to let you know that she's madly in love with you. I've been supporting you, guys, for such a long time now, watching every video and I'm so sorry we've lost touch over the past few years. Everything seemed nice, i don't know what happened.. " i take another deep breath." Colby, i just want to tell you that i miss seeing your face, i miss our stupid conversations about every possible thing, i miss your hugs that you suddenly stopped giving me, your smile brightening your face whenever you saw me. Silly me still thinks you liked me, ha ha", i laugh bitterly, a tear forming in the corner of my eye. "i still remember when we met in High school and you saw me on the hallway. You couldn't stop looking at me while passing by. You even hit the lockers with your back. Sam laughed at you and then looked at me, whispering to you something like holy smokes. And then how we've met for real when a mutual friend introduced us to each other, i couldn't help myself but to look at all your features and memorise them, cause i knew you were going to be the death of me. I tell myself that love at first sight doesn't exist, but with you.. Colby, you are something else and i hate you for what you made me feel. I always think about how you tried to pick on anything just to talk to me, how you were outside playing some game with your friends with a football ball and you told them i distracted you when you lost the game.", i laugh at the memory, replaying it in my head. "i really wish i could see you one more time. I'm in love with you, Colb-"

Your voice message was successfully sent

"NO. No no no, no. This can't be happening, oh my God. Oh my fucking God", i start roaming around the living room, my leg hitting the couch, making me trip and almost fall on the floor. I throw my phone away, the cracking sound doing no damage, the cracking of my brain cells becoming louder and louder after the fact that i didn't pay enough attention to the minutes of the voice mail. I take a deep breath, but my anxiety hits me hard and i sit on the floor, in the corner of the living room, biting my nails and fingers. I put my head in my hands, telling myself how stupid i am for doing such a foolish thing. If only i wasn't that distracted..

A ding is heard from my cracked phone and i see the screen turning on from where I'm sitting. No, this can't be happening. I spend a few more minutes trying to get calmer, scared of what he might have said. I spend these minutes creating different scenarios of what he might have told me, trying to choose one that would hurt less or i would prefer to happen. To be honest, i don't find anything that pleases me, so i get up and cringe at my phone as i unlock it, scared to read the message. I take a deep breath and read.

"oh wow... Uhm, hi y/n. This is definitely unexpected. Are u busy tomorrow?", Colby's text shows up in my notification bar. I scrunch my nose and face palm myself. I was so stupid

"you can ignore that.. U don't need to make it more awkward than it is already. Please", i text back and sit my sorry ass on the couch, tossing thd phone right next to me

"We need to talk. I can't just pretend u didn't send this to me"

I roll my eyes. "It sent my itself"

"Don't be childish. Tomorrow at 2pm? And I'll see u at the mall", i read his message and weigh if i havr anything else to lose. Of course i don't, my dignity went downhill already.

"Sounds good"

*******

I park my car and send Colby and text, announcing my presence. He calls me instead of replying.

"Hey, where are you? I can't see your car"

"Do you even know what I'm driving?", i laugh and get out of the car and lock it

"Well, did you change the car you used to have?", i remain silent at the question, feeling hurt. "Wrong choice of words, I'm sorry. I see you", he hangs up and i start walking towards him when i see him.

"Hey, Colby"

"Hey, y/n, it's so great to see you", he hugs me and i pat him on the shoulder a few times, feeling the awkwardness between us. We back away and check each other out. Even tho i still know how Colby looks like from their videos, it's amazing seeing him in person after such a long time. He checks me out, looking me up and down. I look down at my converse and brush a hand through my hair.

"Should we go inside?", i motion to the entrance of the mall. He nods and we walk inside, finding the Starbucks immediately and buying two drinks, sitting at a remote table. We talk about each other's hectic lives, him being who he is and me being the person that i am, never doing anything extraordinary but to be myself and play everything safe. We laugh, he gives me some insides about the whole ghost hunting experience, telling me how he wants to see me in action.

"What if that ghost likes me? Will it follow me and watch me shower?", i joke and take a sil of my coffee while he almost chokes on his drink.

"It better not like you to that extent", Colby says and he smirks, shaking his head. I take another sip of my drink and he follows my action. All of a sudden, the air thickens. "So, liking. Hmm, that reminds me-"

"Noooo, oh no. Colby..", i lean my head forward until i reach the table with my forehead. He laughs at me and taps my wrist to get up and look at him

"C'mon it's not that bad", he smiles at me and i shake my head, looking in another direction

"It's easy for you to say that, you didn't send anything by mistake. Especially a love confession", i look him in the eyes and i seethem sparkle. I'm out of breath for a second. I shake my head again

"But i wanted to", he says fast and i lean back on the leather armchair

"I bet, with so many beautiful girls around you it's hard to keep it for yourself", i smirk and take another sip, nervous. "Is any of them the reason you ghosted me for almost four years now?", i chuckle and he shrugs his shoulders and leans back the way i did.

"No, I'm sorry for that. It's just...", he looks away. He bites his lip amd starts twisting around his rings. "I was a coward"

"Why?", i ask confused

"Because i liked you a lot back then and I'm sorry for not telling you. I remember all the moments you talked about in that voice message. I was replaying them in my head while you were talking. It was in that moment when i realised how much I've missed your voice. So warm and calming. ", he clears his throat. "i was a coward for not owning up to my feelings. I talked to Sam about you every day or night, telling him how beautiful you looked and how i know you'll never look at me cause you were so gorgeous all the time. I never thought my looks would be enough to match yours. Every time i came back to the floor we've had classes on, i would see you at your locker with your friend and laugh all the time. You were so happy. I even asked myself how is it possible for you to have a smile on your face every damn day, weren't you getting upset about anything? ", Colby asks and the question wakes me up from the flashbacks i started receiving

"I've had my days, but when we had breaks, i had no reason to be so sad or angry about whatever. I didn't like wasting those 10 minutes for a bad grade or anything", i chuckle and shrug my shoulders. He chuckles too.

"I remember when you started avoiding me, i never knew why, so i started avoiding you too"

"I remember that, i was wondering why you were avoiding me", i say

"Why did you do that?", Colby asks, frowning

"I thought i had to give you space. I know i was talking way too much to you and i didn't know of you enjoyed it, so i cut it short for a while to show you I'm not crazy or anything. I thought i was bothering you"

"You never bothered me", he gives me half a smile and takes a sip of his drink. I look down on the table, feeling nauseous from the coffee, so i push it a little bit further from me. "After two weeks of avoiding each other, i remember seeing you enter the high school yard right when i was coming outside and i thought to myself that it can't be real, such a perfect timing to see you with no one around, just us meeting by mistake", he laughs. "I thought faith was actually real in that moment.", i laugh too. "Anyways, i saw you and i was surprised to see you come hug me, even tho it was me who extended his arms first for you. And when we finally hugged, i swear i didn't want to let go."

I gulp at his statement and feel my cheeks get red.

"I remember that feeling too. I was so mad at you, but i wasn't because you didn't talk to me, it was because i knew we will never be more than friends and hug buddies. I just wish i could change something between us. I remember feeling jealous because others had more access to you than i did, all because i chose not to spend so much time with you and Sam.",i draw circles on the condensed water from the cup. "oh my god, when it was your birthday and i told you happy birthday and there was a bunch of other kids around you, i didn't think you heard me, but you turned around and, oh wait, i was wearing make up for the first time in a few months, and you were just staring at me", we both laugh and tap the table with our palms. "You looked at me up amd down and called me beautiful before thanking me. I almost passed out", we laugh again

"It's so weird that we're talking about the crush we've had on each other so naturally.", Colby points out and i frown when i realise that's true. I swallow.

"It's easier to admit what was in the past", i draw circles again on the cup

"Is it just in the past?", Colby takes my hand in his, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. I watch his soft movement and then look up in his eyes. His blue irises look like a whole universe that i want to get lost in forever. I take my hand away from his and i grab my small backpack

"I think we should get going", i get up and he follows me, nodding. He walks me to my car, surprised that i actually changed my car since high school.

"I'm sorry i said that, back at Starbucks, but we need to address it.", he apologies and leans back on the trunk. I walk in front of him so we can hear each other better

"We have nothing to address, Colby. I fucked up anf and admitted my feelings towards you, but I'm stupid to have such feelings for a person who forgot about me and never came back in my life, until now, when it was also because of me.", i raise my voice unnecessarily and i look down to the ground, telling Colby without words that I'm sorry.

"I did that because i couldn't play cat and mouse with you. I never knew how you felt and i was stupid not to ask you about it. Trust me, i regret that very much. But in the same time, i wish you could tell me. Why didn't you?"

"Because my friend had a crush on you, that you developed feelings for after high school, dated her but no one knew cause you were keeping it a secret and you were also gone all the time because Sam and Colby were now touring America, meeting fans. I had no chance in receiving a positive answer from you "

Colby's mouth falls open and i shake my head, kicking a small stone next to my foot.

"Let's leave it here. I'm really glad we saw each other, but you've never had feelings for me, I'm just sorry we didn't stay friends. Maybe my feelings for you aren't going anywhere because i had no chance getting rid of them. I kept thinking about you every day almost for the past years, always trying to come up with answers about why you left me like that.", i take my car keys out, but Colby grabs my wrists and pulls me closer to him, his lips crashing on mine and hands now on my waist, pulling me even closer to him. I put my hands around his neck and bring him closer to my face if possible, our kisses wet and messy just like our heads. He bites my bottom lip and a loud exhale escapes my lips, his lips catching mine in another hungry kiss. We back away to take a few deep breaths and kiss again, his tongue brushing over mine, his hands pulling at my hair to gain soft moans, while my hands roam his abs, tightening my grip on his flesh every now and then, gaining soft whimpers from him. Colby's lips travel down my jaw line, sucking amd biting the skin, before going further down and finding all my sweet spots on my neck. I moan pretty loud when he places his mouth over the most sensitive spot and starts sucking immediately, making me weak in the knees.

"That should leave a mark", he smirks and pecks my lips one more time. I try to catch my breath.

"Why?"

"So people will know you're taken. I've loved you for such a long time and I've lost you because we were both stupid and i won't let that happen again. I missed you like crazy and i never had the guts to call you cause i had no right to do that. I left you for all the new things that were happening to me. I left you because i always thought we were friends and nothing more, it hurt a lot feeling you so indifferent about me, about us. So i left when the occasion looked better. ", he looks down and intertwines his fingers with mine." But i don't want to lose that again. ", he smiles and i smile back, pulling him into a hug.

"I missed you too, Colby."

"Thank you for sending that by mistake"

"I wish i did it on purpose tho"

#colby brock #sam and colby #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut #sam golbach

432 notes · View notes

twiceland · 4 months

Text

oh my gosh okay first of all happyyyy wednesday (it is wednesday in my timezone hehe) to everyone !!! today i hit 1k followers after having this blog since october 2022, and i feel ever so grateful for all of you, mutuals or not, for supporting me throughout this wild ride <//3 i'm currently in exam season (i'm crying inside) so i haven't been very active this year but i am still so happy and excited and ahhhh!!!!!! this means so much to me and honestly i can't even believe that we're here in this moment but wahshjdfhgjshd thank you all soooooo much <3 to celebrate, i decided to write mini email looking notes for some of my mutuals! please don’t be offended if i didn’t write an email for you; if you would like an email and we are mutuals please send me an ask and i will 100% write you one!!!!

to: miru ( @rosiesared ) subject: my fav yunjin stan

MIRUUUUU <3 i still cannot believe we’ve been friends for almost two years. you are genuinely one of the kindest people i know and one of the most genuine ones i know. you’re always there when i just wanna talk and ramble and we ramble together and i adore you for that 🥹 i remember us meeting and me being intimidated as fuck by you but u are the sweetest and have the most amazing personality 💖💖💖💖 i’m so proud of you always I LOVE U TO BITSSSSS

to: isai ( @solojihyo : @yosang ) subject: jihyo’s wife ( real !!! )

MY CLUMSY BLOB <3 hi my love!!! you are someone i love and hold so dearly to my heart <3 you’re someone i can talk to at my happiest and my worst, and you help me become a better version of myself. you’re so sweet and lovely and such a genuinely wonderful person and i appreciate you being in my life these past couple of years. i adore you!! love you sooooooo much my fav horanghae lover (btw i walked into a pole again yesterday. i didnt hurt myself dw) (also thank u for convincing me to download the cracked ps from the link you sent in the server) (i lov u)

to: michaela ( @mandu : @thefeelz ) subject: jennie’s loml

when you followed me i was so sure i was in a fever dream. i’m pretty sure i blinked at my screen like 200 times. ANYWAYS you are literally ,,,,, i think the only way to say this is so fucking cool . although we don’t talk a lot, seeing u on the dash is always a sure way to make me smile <3 i love youuuuu

to: zay ( @jeonwonwoo : @kimsdahyun ) subject: jeonghan’s bff

HI MY MOST BELOVED ZAY !!! over the last couple of months we’ve gotten sm closer and i just love hearing ab u talk about our fav sebongs and ps stuff && everything you’re passionate about. you’re genuinely one of the most fun and funny people i know and i adore you so much <3 love u love u love u jeonghans wife 💖💖💖💖 MY MOST AESTHETIC PRETTIEST QUEEN !!!!!

to: dana ( @lesseraive ) subject: chaewon = loml = the only girl ever

dana!!!! i still cannot believe its only been … a little more than a year? since we became mutuals 😭 you’re the best. i love shittalking w you, talking about our girls (jangchae) and how izone deserved and deserves better (we miss u izone) (u are forever) (never izgone) . you’re like an older sister to me and i feel like i can talk to you about anything. thank you for being here and being my friend, i love youuuu <3 jeonghyeon p01

to: elv ( @seokmins ) subject: seokmin’s pizza girl !

elvvvvv <3 tbh we’ve talked to about this before but i think the most funny part of our friendship is me not remembering how we met HSKFBSJSK i know that we were both mutuals in laws through isai but honestly it feels like we’ve been mutuals for like ….. ever. you are so sweet and lively it feels like we are just two sunshines together in a field of sunflowers whenever we talk 😭 you make me smile whenever you come up on the dash and you deserve all of the love in the entire world <3 sending my squishiest hugs your way! 💗

to: mini ( @venompinks ) subject: #1 blackpink lover

MINI MINI MINI !!!! hi beloved <3 tbh ive always seen u as like an older sibling to me. you have rhsi comforting vibe that just emulates love & support and i adore that. i love seeing ur creations && support towards ur favs (esp the pinks hehe) and ur so so so lovely!!!! sending u all the squishiest hugs in the whole wide WORLD !!!!!

to: theo ( @lovebitxx ) subject: chaer’s #1 <3

THEO THEO THEO THEO !!!!! i remember you following me during your lixblr era and feeling so :OOO bc that was pre gg blog and i was like wowowow bc all of your creations are so pretty 😭😭😭 im so happy we’ve gotten closer and u always make me smile and just seeing u on my dash and talking to u makes me so happyyyyy!! you’re so passionate about your favs and its always so nice to see you get excited about them ): i love youuuu so much 💗

to: daisy ( @svmit ) subject: juhyeon’s bf ( REAL ! )

MY DAISYYYYY i love you!!!! getting to know you have been soso fun and im so glad to know you 🥹🥹🥹 you’re genuinely so sweet and adorable and i want to squeeze u into the tightest hug 🫂 my fav lightsum && ptg stan 4ever!!!!! 💞💞💞

to: shreya ( @fawad-khan : @kiimtaehyung ) subject: tae’s wife & hyunjin’s gf 🎀🎀🎀

my most beloved shreya!!!!! hi akka i love u to the moon and back and beyond 💞💞💞💞 its kinda crazy to think a year ago we barely knew each other and now we’ve both celebrated our birthdays and waaaaaa it feels insane. i feel like. you’re genuinely someone i see as my older sister and i want to hug you so bad and. YEAAAA the momo to my sana i love youu <3 also thanks for teaching me that andrew garfield is a real person 😁 mwah

to: theo ( @toplines ) subject: best jeongyeon stan!!!!

HI MY LOVELIEST THEO!!!!! I ADORE U HEHE thank u for being one of the silliest most funny most genuine people in my life u are quite literally the kuromi to my melody, the jeongyeon to my sana and i lov u lots!!!!! u are the best ever and u deserve all the love and moreeee 💞💞💞💞 hehe ALSO U ARE THEEEE GFX ICON OF ALL TIME

to: lau ( @saerom : @127s ) subject: saerom’s biggest fan (real)

HI LAUUUUU hehe i know we havent been close for that long (i think we met in userps i dont even remember if im being honest) but you’ve always been someone i look up to. you have this ability to like. stay calm and handle difficult situations with ease and are so funny and fun to talk to!!!! ilu a lot and u are genuinely the sweetest ever <3333 also u are THEEEE URL QUEEN !!!!! never forget !!!!! hugs !!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

to: hales ( @3rachaas ) subject: changbins wife confirmed!!!

HALES HALES HALES HI !!! u are the funniest person ever actually genuinely seriously 100%ly (how many more adverbs can shri use,, more at ten) u are my east coast bestie and i love playimg games with u even if u win every single time 😓😓😓 ILY SOOO MUCH i wish i could hug u sososoososososo bad <////3 mwah!!!! also u are my fav 3racha stan 4ever (edit i hate tumblr ANYWAYS i miss our uno game nights can we have one again) (also hales edit era we miss u) (ilyilyilyilyily)

to: lee ( @komca ) subject: komcanation ‼️ mark’s wife

hi mother 😁😁 u are my favorite mark stan 😁😁 i lov u 😁😁 no in actuality i love u sm lee u are one of the most understanding kindest most funniest most amazing person ever u just. deserve all the love in the world!!!!! i love ur markisms and ur love for rnb and just how passionate u are about ur hobbies and interests!!!! adore u to the moon and back I LOVE U SMMMM HEHE MY ILICHIL LOVER IN CRIMEEEE 💜💜💜

to: naina ( @tutontawan ) subject: sakura’s wife 💞

sunshine wifey! HI MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER the hello kitty to my melo, kkura to my eunchae, gaeul to my wonyo, i adore u sooooo much u are quite literally my twin in every aspect and i love uuuuuu!!!!!! u are just the most sunshiney person to ever sunshine and never fail to make me smile and happyyyy I LOVE UUUUU MY FAV i cant wait to meet u one day <3

to: ace ( @ajusnice ) subject: my maknaez in crime <3

ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE HELLO HI my fav gose watching partner hehe <3 no but actually its kinda bizarre how we havent been friends for a year but it feels so much. longer idk 😓😓 thank u for being sososoaoao supportive u always make me laugh and whether its u berating me over using light mode or screaming over junshua its never a boring day when we talk 🥹 im glad to have u as my friend and ILYSM!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i hope all of you had the happiest new years and hope that 2024 is our best years yet!!! love all of you sooooo much and thank you once again ♡♡♡♡♡

#shri talks ♡#milestones ♡#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

28 notes · View notes

spaceyflowers · 4 months

Text

hi!! im still alive!! + updates on this blog

first: i would like to apologize for disappearing without a word for like. nearly a year. im terribly sorry for any worry i've caused T_T;;

honestly i have no good excuse for disappearing like i did especially without reason (not that im obligated to let everyone know my business but i did have a "i wont randomly disappear!" sentiment and yet... here i am) but in a nutshell, its basically: fandom shifts, college, and guilt.

if you want to know about the future of this blog fandom wise;

still going to be a lookism/viral hit blog (havent caught up yet) but most likely wont be as active in the fandom anymore;;; thinking of sticking as a lookism blog until that series ends but who knows when it will so i might eventually just change fandoms 😭

please dont feel bad about unfollowing or anything!! curate what u wanna see with who u follow, i take no personal offense, even if we've been long time mutuals!! ><

fandom shifts will probably be more common; i have this weird thing where i cant focus on multiple interests or i get stressed;; so i get obsessed with one thing for months/years but then once i lose interest and move on, its likely i wont return to it unless something triggers it. thats why i dont think "multifandom" fits me, i'll always be fandom focused, its just the fandom focus changes 😭

p.s. sorry if im being dramatic about this (i feel like a youtuber who got canceled writing an apology 😭😭) i just feel like i owe yall an explanation </3

if you're curious about me, i've left that under the cut;

got into a new interest which made me stop looking at lookism/viral hit stuff -> knowing my blogs are lookism focused, i decided to take a "break"

couldnt get myself back into lookism after my "break" ended -> couldnt get myself back on tumblr

started to feel guilty because i havent been active in a long while

senior year ending, school takes my priorities -> summer break comes, i swear i'll apologize on tumblr but guilt eats away at me and then i have to do college stuff

become a little active on tiktok, start feeling more guilty because im active there but not on tumblr

college begins, get busy with college stuff -> during breaks, swear i'll apologize on tumblr pt 2 but the guilt has piled up so much it feels like the equivalent of when a person cant get themself to reopen their animal crossing new leaf game because they havent touched it in a long time

first college semester ends, winter break starts -> finally convince myself to get over it and start typing all this up

once again im really sorry T_T i was not made for the content creator life bc i cant stay active for shit + i feel so bad gaining followers for one thing but once i move on from that one thing, it feels like im disappointing a lot of ppl even tho i know i dont owe strangers on the internet anything- im just repeating myself now but yknow

oh and for anyone curious: my current fandom is dmc <3

#adrien shush #thank you for reading this post !!!! T_T <33 #going to check my inbox and dms in a bit!!

24 notes · View notes

kimmkitsuragi · 9 months

Text

The Fame (2008) by Lady Gaga - my commentary edition

because i truly am insufferable like this and want to talk about her music (also one mutual said i should do it so ❤ if u see this, this one's thanks to u bestie)

i will probably do this for her other albums as well ✌

general comments: first of all this album is THAT GIRL. every song is still so relevant, both in terms of sound and lyrics. you would think okay ive listened to [a song from this album] 9283755 times it was way overplayed. and yeah but umm actually no! no matter how many times, it will still be slaying. pop perfection in the literal sense. and she did all that with her DEBUT ALBUM. legend energy. and!! it's insane that this album had SO MANY literal hits like so many of these songs were so popular and all over the radio. it was at the time where they didnt really understand gaga but they were still all over her. energy. (i dont think the general public ever understood her to this day but u get what i mean)

JUST DANCE - a classic!!!! the redone tagline that started it all... makes me think i really want these two working together again. anyway, having this as your studio debut is actually insane if u ask me. no matter how many times i will listen, don't think i will get bored. the bridge is too good actually, can we bring back actual bridges in pop songs???? please and thank u

LOVEGAME - oh man how to even begin this one. i can't believe this one was playing everywhere for years!! "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" is actually one of the most iconic lines in late 2000s music lmao. truly a signature sound for this era btw.

PAPARAZZI - that girl forever and ever. this will have to be considered together with its vma performance, because it just HAS to. the song itself is crazy, the celebrity worship and the downsides of fame. love that concept love the execution. but then she had to go ahead and have that performance too!!!! truly game changing and life changing as well. the way NO ONE was prepared for it. no one even understood in that room. she was one step ahead even from such an early time in her career. this one truly makes u understand that she's not just another popstar thank u very much.

POKER FACE - the first insanely popular hit. like yes the songs up until this one was Successful and popular. but this one?? honey there was no escape from this one. my first exposure to gaga as well <3 i was like 9 lmao. (it's also insane how it's going 4/4 in terms of the songs being actual hits lol) anyway did you know she says "fu fu fu fuck her face" in the chorus? now u know! sneaky and very strong gaga energy for this lmao. ALSO i love the live performances of this song because she makes it so fun all the time. mixing it up and all that. the dance is fun too! i dont know how to actually comment further because like what else can i say this is poker face.

EH, EH - this is the odd one out of the album right. it's so cute and bubblegum-ish compared to the rest of the album. and i like her!! a lot!! it's giving a little bit of retro too. when i think abt it this might be the odd one out of her whole career probably lmao. she's versatile, and keeps doing different things all the time. but this kinda cute-ish song is very rare for her. as i said i like it but now i wonder how the selection of this song went lol. this is also kinda reminding of her pre-debut stuff in some ways??? but it's been some time i might be wrong too. anyway, interesting and fun song imo

BEAUTIFUL DIRTY RICH - oh my it's so hard to pick my fave song from any album but like this may be IT. the cuntiness of this oneeee it's clear to me that this is kinda the direction that her music ended up turning after this album. in terms of the vibes and cheekiness and as i said, the cunt levels. there's also some jazz influence (? i may be using a wrong genre name here but U GET IT) even if it's minimal like cmon this song is SO GAGA. it's so her. it's so fun. this one deserved so much more popularity if u ask me. im eating up the delivery each time also

THE FAME - ooh baby the guitar in this she's a rock starrr <3 this is the most direct one in terms of the album's general theme and messages (i mean duh. the name lol). i like how the verses and chorus kinda have different vibes. verses being more guitar driven, and the chorus being more bubbly and poppy. it's fun, but nothing so mindblowing tbh but i still like it!

MONEY HONEY - okay cunt is back. we love it. the pre-chorus is SO delicious and then how it transforms to the chorus is even MORE delicious. this one would be so high in my ranking of the album you dont even know (if i could actually have a real final ranking lol). love how she's embracing the famous rich bitch vibe so much here. KI KI KISSES!!

STARSTRUCK - one of the more underrated tracks in my experience. honestly i love this one so much. feel like it's another lowkey unusual song from her, but she has the vibe down so well, the genre doesn't even matter. it feels so natural. the tasteful autotune sooo late 2000s man i feel that. the features work well too imo! this is all "jewels and drugs" wished it was tbh (we will get into it more in the artpop post tho, havent actually listened to that song in sooo long so i may be wrong once again lol)

BOYS BOYS BOYS - i always think "oh this one yeah ok whatever" but then im always having so much fun with it?? like i will have fun with it, but still not care a lot abt it tbh. it's a pretty straightforward pop track and doesnt really feel like a gaga-exclusive something to me. but i still enjoy it! love the little nod to just dance btw lol

PAPER GANGSTA - a piano hip hop influenced track <3 always love this vibe. still tho, kinda another unusual gaga song imo. out of all the hip hop influenced songs from her, this might be one of my faves. it's also more lowkey than the others. and that bar is not so high tbh lmao. so yeah i like it, nothing too special tho

BROWN EYES - okayyy believe it or not this is one of my most played songs from the album probably. i love gaga balladsssssss!!!! serve the VOCALS. give me everything. i love this one so much so much. also that guitar part in this like im listeningggg <3 this feels like some kind of a prequel to speechless, which is probably my fave gaga ballad ever. ough dont know what to say. this is the most vocals she showed in this album, and i know that this is Nothing compared to her full potential and talent. but!!! still so impressive for me. i just find her voice so (insert every positive adjective here) umm and also on top of that, comforting. so. yeah great great song imo

I LIKE IT ROUGH - futuristic vibes here we gooo i like this one a lot. this is also very signature gaga sound for her future career i feel like. especially the verses, but the chorus too to some extent. also one of the biggest earworms of the album for me

SUMMERBOY - okay this is also a somewhat cute-ish song but this one feels less cute for some reason. it feels more... naughty?? lol maybe that's why i dont find it too out of ordinary for her. but it kinda is when i think abt it! really reminiscent of her older stuff as i said (iirc) for "eh eh" too. but also love the rock influence too! maybe that's why i dont find it too out of the ordinary lmao. anyway this is really such a vibe it makes me so happy and silly i love it

DISCO HEAVEN - this one is probably the one i listen to the least from this album tbh. it's fun! but it doesnt feel that special for me. i love the instrumentals a lot now that i think abt it. but couldve used a stronger closer for the album maybe!! also never paid attention to how this album has so many spelling moments lmao truly 2000s vibes

#a post for me by me!! love and peace #tha alternative was to just post a bunch of music links and yell about them in the tags so #i find this more dignified #still a pretty jobless thing to do... oh well #gaga #rants #🗒#my commentary

12 notes · View notes

malka-lisitsa · 1 year

Text

My blog may be only like 5 months old, but I managed to hit a pretty big milestone for followers anyway! Wanted to say thank you to all of you who follow me and subscribe to the cult of Katherine. Even if we don't interact or write I really do appreciate your follow and support. I adore all the random anons I get, you guys make being here so much fun and Im so glad that you chose to follow me.

While I love all of you there are a few people I would like to escpecially thank for my rpc family wouldn't be the same without them!

@baby-royalty - You were my first follow on this site, we were DRAWN to each other. It has been a pleasure and a privilege helping Lizzy develop more into her own person. As far as OC Dathrine children are concerned you will always be my one and only, I love you endlessly. Obiche tem Zvezdichke.

@multi-royalty - Dat my bes fran, she a rl bad bitch. The Caroline to my Elena. Seeing you grow and improve as a writer while you explore your wide range of characters has been so heart warming to see. You have a knack for being able to pick up just about any character youre asked to and do them proficiently, which is a skill not everyone posesses! But no matter who youre writing, you will always be my favourite Caroline. xoxo

@hybrid-royalty-main - U R A SCRUB. But despite that I have to admit I am impressed with how fully you have dedicated yourself to the RPC and become such a large part of my affilliates circle. You play all of my boys and then also my tormenter and you do them all so well. Red string Stefrine is what the world DESERVED in tvd, and I am so pleased to give you the chance to write it with me <3 muwah muwah.

@sonofmikael/@bunnyblooded - I WAITED THREE WHOLE MONTHS from the moment I joined and found your blog I waited with baited breath to see if you would EVER come back. Then I was alerted and worked my way into your notifications and then BOOM. Follow back. I was so excited, and then YOU HAD A STEFAN BLOG TOO??? I mean, mostly built for a klefan AU which i mean i guess I forgive you Stefrien supremacy but really where its AT?? Our Stelena is something special. Idk how or why, but I write my favourite Stelena stuff with you, it just flows so beautifully. NOW IF ONLY YOU WOULD DO YOUR DRAFTS- jk. I love you. But really.

@faiththesinfulslayer - GIRL????? GIRL???? When we first started interacting I did NOT expect their relationship to evolve into what it has. Faith and Katherine are just one of my fave pairings because they GET each other in a way not many other's can. Its so important to them and FOR THEM you know? I adore seeing you on my dash and even tho she will deny it to the end of time Katherine and I DO notice when youre gone and we DO miss you both. We are always waiting to see our girls active and killin it on the dash <3 know that you are very loved.

A few other mentions that make my dash amazing. I love seeing all of you pop up in my notifications and my feed. All of you are amazing writers with wonderful grasps on your characters and you all have made my experience here on this blog more amazing than I could have asked for. From banter to deep dive angst and character development, writing with you guys has made my experience amazing. I am very happy to be mutuals and write with all of you.

@tobeblamed @touchedbydestiny @ladamedemartel @lordofthestrix @deceptivemorals @witch3d @townwxtch @siiinfultemptation @jeremydied @wonkrugona @tricursed @viikingwitch @seesgood @langdhon @tormentias @demone-volpe @sindicate @hcpemikaelscn @roshale @ofwaywardsunshine @salvatoraes @klaeus

And just a quick shout out to a few more special people-

The OC hall of fame, the love and devotion you have for your characters is inspiring and I am heavily invested in them on my dash.

@unbearablyindifferent @ravenskeeper @demonstigma

Katherine ESPECIALLY adores bothering Sarah and Alice. <3

Thank you all again for your love and support! If you weren't mentioned don't worry! It's nothing personal, these are just the blogs that have been my faves for a large part of my 5 or so months in this RPC. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me as a writer and on this blog, but I hope you all are a part of it <;3

#the one and only... sort of: ooc #follow forever #hit big number bois had to make it special #i love all of you #this is a threat

27 notes · View notes

sorikkung · 2 years

Text

what goes on in neverland. ⇝ ch. 3: conversations, conversations, camboys?

word count: 9.8k

pairings: transmasc!reader x Everyone, everyone x everyone (its literally too convoluted for me to try type them out here anymore just see the masterlist for full pairings LOL)

genre: fluff, smut and lots of assorted shenanigans. hijinks, if you will

au: battle of the bands!au but make it gay and horny

warnings: adults talking abt their feelings, mutual masturbation, camming, bondage, remote controlled toys, edging, ruined orgasms, boys crying, cum swallowing but its realistic

a/n: the jump between me taking half a year to update to months to two within the same months??? progress is real guys. anyway we're finally delving into another pov this chapter how exciting!! a lot goin on, a lot of set up here i hope you guys are as excited as i am for what it leads to 🤭

please reblog and leave feedback if you enjoyed, it’s what keeps us writers going :’) (for every comment i get i open up a wip and write a few sentences. thats not bribery but literally just how motivating it is.)

tags: @honeybyunnies @syunderful @absentcaryatid @mingirn (lmk if you want to be added/removed!)

prev | masterlist | next

>you: i got some mad fucking tea to spill are you ready

>mingi’s bitch: omg bet come over

>you: aight @energeric where r u

>you: ???

Figuring you’d just meet him at the couple’s apartment, you slip some shoes on and grab your keys from the hooks in your doorway to leave, only to find the very man you were pinging grabbing his to do the same.

“Oh, did you see the texts then?” you ask, figuring he’d be going too, but then it strikes you that he probably would’ve started pestering you for details already before you even made it to their apartment.

“No, I’m– I’m heading out. Gonna hit the gym with a buddy.” He pauses mid-way through slipping on his shoes and tying the laces to look up at you. “What happened? Dude, your cheek is bruising, are you becoming the same kinda painslut as Wooyoung is or did you get into a fight?”

“Got clocked in the face by Changbin at the food court with Wooyo today, but it’s what his boyfriend texted me afterward that I’m gonna go discuss with him– you should come, the tea is piping hot.”

He shakes his head, hastily finishing tying off his laces and getting up. “Nah, I don’t wanna leave my friend waiting, he’s already there. If you can’t brief it in a maximum of maybe four and a half sentences, it’s gotta wait.”

You snort. “What the fuck is half a sentence meant to look like?”

“And you just used one. Three and a half, go.”

“Changbin’s boyfriend is hot and Felix is still definitely in love with you.”

For a moment, Eric doesn’t say anything at all. He just stares at you, unblinking, and you expect his eyes to widen or his brows to raise or show any inkling of surprise after a few seconds, but he doesn’t. For once you can’t read the dark clouds in his eyes, though you know he’s definitely having some sort of emotional reaction to the news, but he simply turns to grab his keys as if you didn’t say a thing.

“Cool.”

“Cool?” It stumps you, how normal he’s acting when you’re positive he’s feeling anything but. He’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn’t hide how he feels, so the way he’s been acting in regards to Felix raises a few questions. Granted, you didn’t expect him to go running back to him – or maybe you did, just partially – but you certainly expected more than that. “That’s it? I thought you still liked him.”

He sighs deeply through his mouth and twirls his keys around his finger idly while standing in the doorway. “Why would I? Yes, I still like him. Maybe a part of me always will. But he’s the one who broke up with me because he didn’t have time for me. Now I see where that time went, and frankly, I don’t think I have time for him either. I too would rather focus on the people I care about. I don’t care if he still loves me. If he really, truly did, as much as I loved him? He’d do a better job at showing it.”

“That’s… fair,” you sound out slowly, nodding. It makes perfect sense, and in hindsight if he’d jumped at the opportunity first you might have even warned him for being too hasty for that very reason. “Don’t worry, he’ll see what he’s missing. We’ll wipe the floor with him and all of his friends.”

Eric gives you a nod and a half smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, then bids you goodbye and heads off. How abrupt, you think. You’ll probably come back to that one later.

There are many benefits to dating Jung Wooyoung, Mingi finds. One of them is that it can never really get boring. Everything about Wooyoung is exciting, and he tries to share that with Mingi as much as possible, whether that be spicing up what they try out in the bedroom or taking him on all sorts of wild adventures for dates, or just always having something going on exciting enough to talk about even on their lazy days.

Today is no exception; he sits on their couch in just his sweatpants, while Wooyoung lies draped across his lap in only his t-shirt. Not his own, but Mingi’s, naturally, and he’s already accepted he won’t get it back until it stops smelling like him. When today’s excitement – you, of course – strolls in and gives them a knowing look, he shakes his head before even greeting you.

“We weren’t fucking this time. Though if you took any longer we might’ve!”

It certainly wouldn’t be the first time you’ve walked in on them in more provocative positions, if that were the case – most times these days, they don’t bother to stop at the interruption, and more often than not you’re quick to join in on the fun anyway. It’s not unheard of, however, for you – or any of the other band members, for that matter – to pass on joining in and merely scroll on their phone or read a book or snack while in the very same room as the deed is being done, but nobody really minds. It’s just a thing that happens, at this point, just as normal as eating or playing video games. You all prefer it that way.

Hell, Mingi is a huge fan of the concept. It didn’t take Wooyoung very long to figure out how much he enjoys showing off, so as soon as his days of being a little shyer and more self-conscious fell behind him in favour of his newfound confidence in his sex appeal and comfort with the band, he became quite the tease when he has an audience. Perhaps that’s why he was all too keen to let Wooyoung drag him down the corridor Changbin went down at the battle of the bands and start making out with him on the spot, knowing – no, even better, hoping – the other man would be watching.

“Without me? How cruel.” You’re quick to join them on the couch, cuddling into Mingi’s side and allowing Wooyoung to sprawl across your lap as well. They both silently appreciate how you fit so easily into their lives as to not even need so much as a greeting when you arrive at their apartment. It’s your home as much as theirs, probably helped by how the whole band lives in the same apartment complex, albeit different floors. At this point, you might as well all be roommates. “Though I suppose I’ll be the crueller one, considering I’m gonna be having a threesome with Changbin and his hot boyfriend and you’re not invited.”

“What?!” Wooyoung jolts up off your laps, staring at you like you just grew a second head. “Why the fuck not? After I sucked the soul out of him that one time? Damn, he has no idea what he’s missing, I’ve only gotten better since.”

“Actually, he kinda does,” you chuckle, taking his place across his and Mingi’s laps so you can cheerily grin up at him and poke your tongue out. “Little birdy told me it was, to this day, the best head he’s ever had. Not that he’d ever admit it.”

“Wait a second, who was the little birdy? Changbin or Minho?” Mingi asks, idly tapping his fingers on your back while the gears turn in his head. Truly, excitement follows Wooyoung wherever he goes — he doesn’t even need to try.

“Minho. We’re Instagram mutuals now, apparently. He had soooo much juicy tea for me. Like how the reason Changbin is gonna deny all your advances is because he’s been in love with you since high school but doesn’t wanna admit it, even to himself.”

Wooyoung freezes, and Mingi freezes at Wooyoung freezing. Mingi doesn’t know the full details of Wooyoung and Changbin’s history beyond being best friends in high school with another friend who went back to Korea — Yeonjun, Mingi thinks his name was — and that the three of them helped each other experiment and realise that they all liked boys. It sounded very casual, and Mingi figured that makes sense; Wooyoung was one of the key players in opening the band up with each other more physically, and, by extension, his relationship with Mingi. Wooyoung is just the kinda guy who likes being physically and sexually affectionate with his friends, and that didn’t bother him. Not when he enjoyed it almost just as much. In many ways, Wooyoung was the reason Mingi could come so far outside his shell. He’d forever be grateful to him for that.

It takes Wooyoung a good, long moment to remember to breathe again before he bursts out laughing, loud and wide and unfiltered in all the ways Mingi just can’t help but fall for. He isn’t sure what is so inherently hilarious about Changbin’s feelings for him, but he doesn’t realise he’s grinning goofily until you give him a very particular smirk that he’s awfully familiar with. The ‘You’re so damn whipped it’s written all over your face’ smirk. But who in their right mind can blame him? At least, that’s what he thinks to himself while his lover takes a moment to recover.

“No way,” he says at last, “Changbin? In love with me after all these years? Oh, that’s rich. You don’t think- you don’t think that’s the real reason they joined the battle of the bands, is it? To see me again?”

“You and your massive ego,” Mingi huffs, nudging him in the shoulder. “I mean, possibly? I feel like it’s more likely that they’re tryna suck JYP’s dick. But that and Felix possibly holding some resentment for Eric and doing it out of spite might be part of it too.”

“Nah, Felix doesn’t resent Eric,” you inform him, “He’s still in love with him. Did Wooyoung not fill you in? That’s why Changbin was all like, ‘just because Felix still likes Eric doesn’t mean you can use him like that!’ It’s kinda the whole reason I got clocked in the face, which was lucky for your boyfriend’s pretty face because if I wasn’t there, it would’ve been him.”

“He didn’t really fill me in, no,” Mingi pouts, shouldering him again, but Wooyoung only scoffs and shoulders him back. “He was too busy telling me all about how hot Changbin was in a fitted t-shirt and how you went flying across a table to really elaborate on the why. Also how hot that Minho guy is and how he seemed down for the double date, so I’m wondering why all of a sudden we’re not invited to the gangbang!”

“Pfft. It’s- Just read the texts.” You unlock your phone and shove it in his hands to save yourself more explaining. Wooyoung snatches it from you before Mingi can grab it, so he simply leans over his shoulder to read without further complaint.

>lino.ooo: i wish he’d understand that being attracted to other people doesn’t mean i love him any less

>lino.ooo: but him accepting that would mean accepting he has feelings for people who aren’t me either 🤭

Mingi reads this and his first instinct is to look at Wooyoung’s face. Wooyoung, eyes adorably wide and almost trying to shove his face into the screen with how invested into these texts he is. The puzzle starts to piece itself together in Mingi’s brain, sneaking suspicions he hasn’t accepted enough to address yet, but he can’t help but feel for Minho’s situation.

>lino.ooo: but i’ve been dating him for a couple years now, and i’ve been his friend even longer, i know the signs. i know what he looks like when hes in love with someone, because he’s like that with me, too

That makes him look at Wooyoung once again, analysing every detail on his stupidly perfect face, and that’s when it really clicks. Mingi feels for Minho because it’s too easy for him to imagine himself in similar shoes – possibly because he’s already standing in them. And possibly has been for a long time now.

He thinks back to how their open relationship all started; how you and Sunwoo had been best friends with benefits since your last year of high school before you dropped out and ran away without him, anyway, and Eric since not long after, jokingly justifying your relationship with there being ‘nothing wrong with kissing the homies goodnight.’ It was an inside joke at first, one followed by obnoxious PDA between your trio or Mingi and Wooyoung calling themselves ‘totally platonic homies’ despite having been dating for a while, but somewhere down the line you had all started actually giving each other goodnight kisses.

He thinks about San, who used to blush such a pretty pink at the gesture, and how he couldn’t help himself turning a chaste peck on the lips to a kiss that lingered, hands that wandered – next thing he knows, Wooyoung is running to him saying he fucked up, genuine fear in his eyes, quick to confess how his goodnight kiss with San escalated to making out against a wall and how it all happened so fast and he stopped it as soon as she realised he was enjoying it too much for a goodnight kiss and ran to Mingi first thing to come clean. He had apologised so vehemently that day, like he was really, truly scared he would lose his lover for such a careless mistake; Mingi then wonders how much of that fear lies beyond the simple kiss.

How much of it was the feelings San made him feel that scared him so.

He decides to keep these thoughts to himself for the time being. After all, maybe he’s simply overthinking again, comparing himself to the other rapper now that he’s come and changed up the scene. Wooyoung has a type, it seems. Thick lips, broad shoulders, reckless confidence, and spits fire on the mic. He wonders how long it’ll be before he inevitably falls for Sunwoo, too. He fits the type to a T. Maybe he already has, actually, he isn’t too sure – but he’s far surer that the way he looks at you, San and Changbin, isn’t the way people usually look at their platonic friends. Or their former friends who they haven’t seen in years and desperately want to get in the pants of and show off to.

Mingi remains quiet.

“Well, I think our next plan of attack is rather obvious,” Wooyoung hums, barely concealing his excitement. However, neither you nor Mingi seem to follow, so you wait for him to realise and elaborate. “Like… if he doesn’t even realise he’s in love with me, we gotta make sure he does.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Mingi ponders aloud, raising an inquisitive eye at Wooyoung. He stares back at him.

“Exactly what it sounds like? We need to make Changbin realise he’s in love with me whether he likes it or not. Like, he’s in love with me, that’s so exciting? This whole time? I was literally his gay awakening, I gotta remind him how he got to this point in the first place.” Wooyoung states it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but Mingi simply blinks, then cuts you off before you can say anything.

“Why?”

That renders both of you silent, and it’s only then when Wooyoung and you seem to finally notice the seriousness of Mingi’s expression, the atmosphere sobering up so quickly it gives him whiplash.

“B-Because… come on, it’ll be fun! What’re you looking so serious for, I'm not the one in love with him! I think I just get a sick sense of satisfaction from it. Plus, he’s hot, you’ve already agreed with me that much, do you not want to make him squirm a little?”

Mingi only frowns harder. It’s true, they already discussed bringing Changbin and even Minho into the bedroom if the opportunity presented itself, but this wasn’t quite the opportunity he was thinking about. If Wooyoung sleeps with someone who he knows likes him like that, wouldn’t that be more than just a casual fling? Why would he want to engage when he knows feelings are involved already? Mingi thinks he knows the answer.

It begs the question, considering when it was brought up they never defined what ‘messing with’ other people implied. Mingi figured they were on the same page in it meaning just having sex or touching or kissing, but now he wonders if he missed something. “How far does our ethical non-monogamy go?”

“What are you–“

“Wooyoung, you’re really excited to hear that your old best friend likes you like that… what’s so exciting about it? You have me already.”

“What? I’m not excited, I just–” Wooyoung flounders at the accusation, bumping you out of the way so he can crawl half on top of Mingi, so he sees just how serious he is. Like the physical closeness would bridge the gap slowly forming. “Jagiya, that’s not what this is at all. I haven’t felt like that about Changbin since I was like, seventeen–“

“So you admit you did once have feelings for him, then?”

“Woah, woah! What is with that accusatory tone? Mingi, I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, only yours.” He grabs both of his boyfriend’s hands in his, clasping them tightly while he looks in his eyes, wavering. It’s almost uncomfortable to watch. “There’s no competition. Whatever feelings I had for him back then are long gone now, it’s really just a sex thing, like we have with the band, that’s all it is! You know you’re the only one for me, you know I wasn’t even interested in settling down before you, that’s how much you mean to me. I’m yours, first and foremost, no one else’s. However else I get my dick wet doesn’t matter, it– it doesn’t change that. What we have is so much more than that.”

It’s definitely uncomfortable for you to watch now, evident in the way you try to awkwardly shuffle away from them. If Wooyoung notices anything off he doesn’t mention it, gazing almost unblinkingly into Mingi’s eyes in hopes it’ll make him feel his sincerity, but the only sincerity Mingi feels in that moment is Wooyoung’s sincerity to himself. Like he’s trying to convince himself of this just as much as him.

He can’t just tell him that, though. Who is he to tell his boyfriend which of his feelings are real or not? Who is he to say he’s deluding himself? That would be borderline gaslighting if he did, but he can’t ignore the signs that are becoming increasingly obvious the longer he stews on them. He speaks in Korean next in hopes that you won’t catch the meaning of his words.

“Your ears go red when you lie, Wooyoung.”

His mouth opens to say something, then shuts, then again, soundlessly appearing almost like a gaping fish. You don’t stay to hear more, quickly and wordlessly grabbing your phone back from where it had fallen to the couch in Wooyoung’s surprise and trying to make as little noise as possible on your way out to not disturb them. Mingi doesn’t blame you; all of a sudden the air in the room feels awfully stuffy and borderline suffocating, but he has to face this head-on, or else Wooyoung will be lightly dancing around the topic until it escalates.

“I’m not lying,” Wooyoung mumbles, his voice small and caught in his throat. “Is that really what you think I’m like?”

“I– Look, Wooyoung, I’m not going to tell you how you do or don’t feel, I just… Minho’s texts felt kind of relatable when he was talking about how he noticed how his boyfriend looks at other men because he knows what his in love look, looks like. I saw the way you look at Changbin and it just… reminded me of that. But I also see the way you look at them, too,” he gestures towards the door where you just made your escape, “and San. Honestly, I can argue for all of the band, but those two in particular, you look at them the exact same way you look at me. And I just… don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. How I’m supposed to feel about that.”

Wooyoung shakes his head slowly, almost in disbelief. “There’s nothing to feel about. I meant what I said–“

It’s the denial that gets him. Maybe it wouldn’t sting so much if he just came clean and confessed it, admitted to feeling things for other people, and maybe they could talk about it and what it meant for their relationship, but if he can’t realise it himself they won’t get anywhere. And the more he tries to deny it, the more he digs himself into a hole that only highlights Mingi’s very suspicions.

“No you didn’t. Is that really all the band is to you? Just another way to get your dick wet?”

He pauses, settling back down on his legs as the weight of his words finally sink in. “No, I… of course they’re more than that, they’re... I probably shouldn’t’ve said that in front of him, I’ll– I’ll have to apologise to him later.”

Mingi nods. “Yeah, you should. Like, aren’t we constantly going on about how platonic love is just as meaningful as romantic love? Isn’t that why we’re as close with the band as we are? Saying that what we have is so much more than that just because its romantic is so diminishing. That’s how I know you don’t mean it – you don’t believe that, do you? That’s against everything we both believe in.”

“Well, yes, but–“ he gnaws on the inside of his cheek, trying to formulate a response. “I guess I panicked? I just don’t want you thinking after all we’ve been through together that I’m gonna be into Changbin now all of a sudden just because he likes me. As far as romantic love goes, I just want you. I don’t want anything to change that, to change what we have.”

“We don’t have to change anything,” Mingi reminds him calmly, hands smoothing over the smaller man’s thighs in a soothing motion. “I just want you to be honest with me, and honest with yourself. I won’t be mad at you if you like other people because I know you love me, I just… want you to be able to tell me. To trust me.”

Wooyoung nods silently, slowly at first, then frantically. “I-I will. I’m sorry, Mingi.”

“What are you apologising for?”

“I–“ He falls flat. “I don’t know.”

“Then don’t apologise,” Mingi reassures him with the faintest of smiles, cupping his face and pulling him in for a gentle kiss. “Well, maybe do apologise, just not to me. I apologise for putting you on the spot like that.”

Wooyoung chases his lips after the first kiss, hands slipping around the back of his neck and pulling him in, kissing him deeply and sending tingles down Mingi’s spine. They’re both just so handsy, grabbing at whatever they can reach, Wooyoung drawing closer into Mingi’s lap to close the distance between them, so they can hold each other while they kiss like this. Mingi is honestly content to simply kiss him like that for hours on end, but Wooyoung seems to have other plans as their kisses grow hotter and their hands wander further, teeth digging into lips and nails digging into skin.

When he breaks apart, it’s to slip down Mingi’s lap and onto the floor on his knees, spreading Mingi’s legs apart and reaching for the band of his sweatpants. On his knees for him in nothing but his shirt, Mingi knows he’ll never not be affected by such a sight – if it isn’t old by now it probably never will be, and Mingi finds comfort in that. He likes knowing his boyfriend has him wrapped around his pinkie finger, and that he’ll never fail to drive him wild. It’s safe, secure, how his heart beats for him.

“Let me show you exactly how much you mean to me,” Wooyoung murmurs, low and sultry, but it has the opposite of the intended effect. Mingi tenses up, grabbing both of Wooyoung’s wrists on instinct, then pushes them away from him. The flash of distress on Wooyoung’s face doesn’t slide past him, but he doesn’t have it in him to feel too guilty about it.

“Wooyoung,” he breathes out, not letting go of his wrists. “How is this any different? How is having sex with me proving how much I mean to you when you just said all your relationships with other men are just about sex? What kind of message are you giving me with this?”

How Mingi’s heart beats for Wooyoung is safe. He knows that no matter what happens, that will never change – it will always beat for him. That much he is sure of.

Whether Wooyoung is the same, however, he is not.

His mistake seems to crash down on him all at once, and he slips his hands free and back to his sides as he scrambles to his feet in panic. “No, no, I didn’t mean–“

“Just… stop,” Mingi sighs, running a hand through his hair. He’s tired. He doesn’t want to wrestle with – whatever this is that they’re wrestling with – any longer. “I don’t wanna go in circles again, can we just… cuddle?”

Wooyoung is eager to oblige, grabbing a throw blanket off the couch and curling up to Mingi’s side with a quickness he only ever really sees from him on-stage, but he's visibly relieved at the change of topic though guilt still lingers on his features. Mingi turns on the tv; white noise at this point, to leave him alone with his thoughts. Well, not too alone, with Wooyoung in his arms, but he likes it that way. Maybe a small part of him fears that if he lets go, he’ll lose him – but mostly, he just enjoys having him close, even when they’re not the happiest with each other. They’ll get through this.

He leans his head atop the crown of his lover’s, not before pressing a quick kiss to the top. Wooyoung buries his face in his shoulder, returning the kiss to his bare skin, and in that moment, that is all Mingi needs.

That’s enough excitement for one day.

It’s only when you finally get back to your apartment and shut the door behind you do you finally feel like you can breathe again, far away from the stuffiness of the couple’s apartment and the thick tension between them as they fought right in front of you. Not the first time they had done so, and you are usually comfortable enough in their home to just scroll on your phone on their couch until they’re done, but you’re not sure you’ve witnessed a fight quite so personal between them before. Besides, it’s not like you had anything planned for staying longer, so it felt easier to get out of there as soon as you can rather than wait it out as a spectator and hope they’d feel up to sex or video games or going for a cheeky fast-food run in the aftermath.

Sunwoo is sprawled across the couch when you arrive, and he raises his eyebrow at you over his shoulder when he notices the loud exhale at finally arriving home.

“What, did your gossip sesh with Woogi not go so well?” he jokes, but when you plop yourself across his lap, staring up at the ceiling with a humourless chuckle back, he figures he’s probably exactly right.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Wanna talk about it?” He turns off his phone and slips it back into his hoodie pocket to give you his full attention, so you sigh.

“So the goss is that Felix is in love with Eric still, which I already told him and he doesn’t wanna do anything about it, which is fine, and then the other part was that Changbin has been pining over Wooyoung since high school. Which is like, a long ass time to be pining over someone you’ve barely seen since, but it’s enough that his boyfriend noticed – oh yeah, I’m leaving out details again. So Changbin ran into me and Wooyoung at the food court and punched me in the face–“

“–he what?! –“

“–yeah full-on sent me falling over a table, it was hot– yeah and then in a last ditch attempt for him to not like, literally knock my lights out in the middle of the plaza, I complimented his muscles and fed his ego enough for him to be too busy preening to deck me, and then his boyfriend came in. Lee Minho, or Lino apparently is his stage name, and he grabbed my ass, put a metaphorical leash on his boyfriend and basically said we had a point and then plugged Stray Kids’ Instagram, to which obviously I had to stalk, and then I followed his account because he has three really cute cats and we started dm-ing and– here I’ll just show you the messages.”

Sunwoo is straight-up laughing by the time you finish your tale, grabbing your phone from you as you pull up the direct messages with the eccentric man. “You know, just because you’re a rapper doesn’t mean you have to exercise that breath control when telling a story, take it from me.”

“This is how I normally talk!” That draws an exasperated giggle from you, and that’s enough to ease some of the tension that was weighing on your shoulders from the argument. “Basically, you’ll see what I’m talking about when you scroll down to it, but basically I told all this to Wooyoung and he was like, ‘If Changbin has feelings for me and doesn’t even notice I gotta make him notice,’ which for obvious reasons made Mingi a little uncomfortable, because why would he care about his crush on him if he’s already happily taken anyway? So he asked how far their ethical non-monogamy is meant to go and Wooyoung got all defensive and basically said that Mingi is his everything and everyone else is just how he gets his dick wet but doesn’t compare to him, and honestly… that one kinda stung a little.”

Sunwoo visibly winces at that, looking away from the messages to make sure you are okay. “Ouch.”

“Yeah.” You huff, sinking further into the couch and mentally hoping it absorbs you completely. “I dunno it was just so… tense for that moment there. Felt like there was a lot to unpack. Mingi seemed to think so, too, because then he just switched to speaking in Korean and I took that as my cue to leave.”

“Do you remember what he said?” Sunwoo offers helpfully; you aren’t fluent in Korean by any means, but being friends with a whole band of Korean speakers and roommates with two of them forces you to pick some basics up over the years. Especially with Sunwoo practically acting as Eric’s personal tutor, as the latter didn’t learn to speak it growing up but was familiar enough with it for it to be easier for him to learn. Similarly, Kevin never learned it at home either, but was a lot better at self-studying than you were and had also been learning for a lot longer – you had only decided to really commit to it after moving in with the boys and hearing how much they would practice at home.

“I recognised the main words, I think. ‘You’, ‘red’, ‘ears’, and ‘lie’. Lying maybe? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where that was going, though.”

Sunwoo nods, reaching down to play with your hair in a motion you think is supposed to be comforting. It does help. “That’s pretty awkward. How do you feel about it? What are you thinking?”

It’s in times like these when Sunwoo’s maturity shines through; while usually he’s one of the first to goof off and tease or get fired up and in his feelings, in contrast, he can often be very objective with other people’s issues.

“I feel… weird. Like I saw something I probably wasn’t meant to see,” you start with a sigh. It’s hard to place exactly what you’re feeling at first. “It was kind of… disheartening? The way Wooyoung talked about him and Mingi. I don’t know how to explain it, it was just so… uncomfortable. How he kept saying Mingi is basically like, above the rest of us, when I thought we all agreed that romantic relationships shouldn’t be the be-all-or-end-all of human connection because other bonds can be just as strong, but he kept emphasizing how what they have is so special and how he’s Mingi’s and no one else’s, and it’s like… what does that make us? I know he’s not our boyfriend, but I like to think we’re a lot more to him than just friends who get his dick wet.”

Sunwoo mulls it over for a moment, then stills the movements of his hands to give you a steadfast look.

“Do you want us to be more than friends?”

The question kicks your heartbeat into overdrive, suddenly picking up like you’re being chased by an unseen beast that could snuff you out at a moment’s notice. You try not to let that alarm show, but you have the gut feeling that Sunwoo picks up on it, at least on your hesitance to respond, so you open your mouth to say something before it looks like your silence has more meaning to it.

“No– yes? I mean, aren’t we already more than friends, in a way? Friends don’t usually do what we do. Is there not an in between friendship and dating? Since when were we the types to be stuck in singular boxes and labels, huh?”

Sunwoo doesn’t seem to buy it, shifting beneath your weight so you sit up to let him adjust his position and get more comfortable. What you don’t expect, is for him to instead swiftly cage you between him and the couch, towering over you with his eyes boring into yours. He doesn’t touch you, his hands placed firmly on either side of your head, but the proximity makes it feel like his whole weight is pushing down on you.

He says your name unwaveringly. “If friendship is just as strong and important as romance, why do you not want to consider us just as friends?”

Your voice gets caught in your throat. You want to ask why he has to be so, so close to ask you such a question, but the time it takes to gather your wits to reply is probably exactly the reason. You can’t lie to him like this, you can’t bluff or flounder or get anything past him. When he looks into your eyes like this, he sees everything beneath him, and in that moment, you feel more naked before him than you ever have been even without the presence of clothes.

“I… because it feels weird to call you guys my friends. Cause I have other friends, I’ve had close friends with benefits, too, but you guys are just… different. It feels different. You guys aren’t on the same level as people I call my friends,” you explain, hoping that it makes even a lick of sense, but you fear now that you’ve said it out loud it only serves to prove Sunwoo’s point.

Do you want to date them? You’ve been bouncing the idea around in your mind for a few years now, and you still don’t have a clear answer. When you first met San and Kevin, the answer was yes. For Wooyoung and Mingi, it was an ‘if only,’ but they were fresh in their relationship at the time, so you figured they were off-limits. Eric and Sunwoo you had figured any attraction to them was just physical and a result of you messing around with them while also developing a meaningful friendship beyond being an experiment or a booty call, but that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted to date them.

But as the band formed and you all grew closer, they quickly became the most important people in your lives by a long shot, people you’re closer with than you ever have been with anyone else, and that’s uncharted waters. Throwing sexual attraction into the mix only further muddies them, because is it that you’re attracted to them as a person in a romantic sense, or you’re attracted to them and the fact that you’re close to them as people and care for them deeply seem inherently romantic through that lens? Is it possible to be attracted to someone physically and love them platonically? Your logic tells you yes, of course, queerplatonic relationships of all kinds exist, but you’ve gotten to the point where you don’t know the difference anymore. Not when this type of relationship is all you’ve ever known, and you’ve enjoyed them too much to bother trying to pursue anything romantic with anyone. After all, explaining to any possible romantic interest that you don’t plan on stopping sleeping with your entire band and whoever else strikes your fancy, and that you and your band are so incredibly close and live together and spend basically all your spare time together, doesn’t usually score you any second dates.

It's not like that has bothered you much, though, perfectly content with what you have with them – they know you far better than any romantic interests ever have, so why would you bother when you already have almost everything you could ask for in a connection? But that only sounds like you’re already dating them, or at least treating it like you are but dodging the big scary ‘label’ question to not frighten them off and burst your bubble.

“You’re thinking really hard right now,” Sunwoo comments, smirking as he analyses your face. Why is he smirking? What does he think he just won? You can’t read his at all. What you do know is if he doesn’t just close the distance and kiss you already you might just explode, but he’s determined on running his mouth and for once in your life you feel helpless to stop him. He’d see right through your attempts at distraction. “Are you finally putting two and two together? Because what I see, is that Wooyoung talking about Mingi as the only one for him made you uncomfortable because you don’t want Mingi to be the only one for him. You want him to be ours, isn’t that right? You want him to be yours, too.”

You feel like the slightest slip of the tongue will end in instant regret, your last coherent thought fizzling out. “Are you trying to tease me right now, Sunwoo? I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He moves one hand to pinch your chin between his thumb and index finger, making sure you can’t look away from his steadfast gaze. “Dead serious. Do you want to date us? Be romantic with us, tell us those three words you’ve been too scared to say for too long, take us on dates that are explicitly dates, call us yours? Is that what you want?”

How are you even meant to answer such a question? Do you? Don’t you? What would happen if you said yes? Or no? Your head is swimming – if the energy at Wooyoung and Mingi’s apartment felt suffocating, the tension now felt like walking a tightrope with a blindfold on. One wrong step, one wrong breath and you plummet to your untimely demise, but the tightrope you tread on is merely a thread and may snap at any moment regardless.

He says your name again, calling your attention back to him, awaiting an answer.

You don’t have one for him.

The door swings open so violently it bangs against the wall, San bursting in with a shout and his laptop in hand, screen facing toward you, and the most positively mind-blown expression on his face.

“You guys won’t fucking believe what I just found–! Oh. Uh.” His voice is booming until it’s not, dropping to the lowest of volumes once he sees you and Sunwoo’s position on the couch and the seriousness on your faces. Both you and Sunwoo break that contact to look at him in surprise, his equally surprised face staring right back at you. It’s laughable, even, how San has walked in on far less innocent interactions between you guys before, but it seems that even at a moments notice he can feel the thickness of the tension in the room. “Should I uh. Should I come back later? Am I interrupting something?”

You want to say yes, but it’s not like you had an answer for Sunwoo anyway. You suspect Sunwoo will tell him to leave so he can continue drilling you in private, but instead his attention catches on to whatever’s on San’s laptop. It’s porn, which isn’t very surprising, but Sunwoo cuts off whatever he was about to reply and narrows his eyes.

“Is that… Hyunjin?”

San is thrilled to launch into his story about how he was looking into camming as a potential source of income as he may or may not be about to get fired from the Snack Falcon he worked at after one too many shifts of just clocking on and leaving whenever he felt like it because hardly anyone shows up to that store anyway – “Ham Panther is literally right across the street,” he argued, “And they just sell the same shit, and more shit, for cheaper! Anyone who wants good food would have a better time at like, any other store that actually exists.” – but the final straw may or may not have been him and Eric smashing their old lights in the carpark at the back of the store when he was supposed to be closing.

“Jesus Christ, San,” you wheeze, “I’m honestly surprised it took them this long. Wait, but, wasn’t the reason they hadn’t fired you yet was because you were like, the only other employee they had?”

Sunwoo had given you a long, hard look before removing himself from you and letting San come in and go on about his story, which spoke all the words it needed to say. ‘We’ll come back to this later.’ You’re not sure you want to, but you’re happy indulge in San’s shenanigans for the time being and catch your breath again, even if it’s a struggle to shake off the heaviness of everything all at once so suddenly.

“Yeah, well, I was, but then this new guy joined, I think his name is Jeongin or something? I dunno, but it probably doesn’t matter since if he can take my shifts I’m probably done for. I’m at least gonna see a cut in my shifts, but also, I think the night shift guy is leaving, so there might be hope for me yet.”

“But not for your sleep schedule,” you joke, and San nods solemnly.

“Yup, no hope for that one. But anyway! Either way I was like, this probably won’t bode over well, and I’m hot as fuck so I might as well give a shot at being a camboy on the side? Like, seems easier than being a stripper, since I don’t have to learn how to dance or work a pole, and we have enough sex that I probably wouldn’t need to change much of my routine as much as just like, chucking on a camera every now and then. I could make sure your faces aren’t included in the shot, or I could just go solo. Helps to have an apartment to myself.”

“Keep flexing that on us, why don’t you?” Sunwoo huffs, rolling his eyes. He’s quieter than usual, but not enough for it to look like anything more than just being tired, but he’s no less sassy. “I’m less shocked you still have a job and more shocked that you can still pay for an apartment on your own.”

“Well, it helps that I don’t spend much on food,” San reasons, “Considering Wooyoung cooks enough to feed a small country and gets offended when we don’t eat it, and the rest of you guys don’t mind me raiding the fridge every other night or so.”

You snort. “Who said we don’t mind? You know the rule, if there’s only one left it’s not yours – take the last slice of pizza again and I will fucking end you, Choi San.”

He guiltily covers his hand with his mouth. “Oops! Enough of that though, so long story short I heard this site was pretty safe and pays well so I take a look to see what my competition would be like, and lo and behold… the one and only Stray Kids’ Hwang Hyunjin’s cock, balls and ass, first thing on my laptop screen. Viola!”

Placing himself on the couch next to you two with his laptop on his knees for you to see, he clicks play. You only recognise the man after your thorough Instagram stalking from earlier, but it’s definitely him – he doesn’t cover his face at all, the side of it pressed to the mattress with his ass up in the air, stuffed with a pink toy, hands tied behind his back and hard, leaking cock on full display for the camera, trapped in a cock ring that keeps vibrating around him. You wonder how he’s planning to untie himself after he finishes – or how he tied his own wrists behind his back anyway, and if he did that on camera or before turning it on, because there doesn’t seem to be anyone else with him. He must’ve been live for a while now because he looks on the brink of tears as the buzzing stops, brokenly whining and writhing on the bed.

“Please,” he whimpers, shamelessly shoving his hips down on the mattress where he’s stained it with his pre-cum already in an attempt to get any kind of stimulation while bound, “Please let me come. I’ve been so good for you guys, please, I was so, so close…!”

You can’t deny that the visual – hell, the audio too – is hot. Anyone with eyes, ears and a sexual attraction to men would agree on that much. While you thought you’d probably end up zoning out and overthinking your interactions with your bandmates the whole time, you find yourself instead transfixed with the performer on the screen and his alternative form of performance. Does his band know about this, you wonder? If not, it could be quite the juicy secret to leverage later. Regardless, heat simmers beneath your skin with every one of Hyunjin’s whiny pleas.

The chat is moving so fast you almost can’t keep up with it. But you do notice the sudden influx of donations, and suddenly the buzzing resumes again and Hyunjin’s whole body jolts as he squirms to get back on his knees so the camera can see his dick again. He doesn’t seem like he’s acting or playing much up, eyes glazed over and breathing heavy in between his honey-sweet moans. He’s so unfathomably pretty that even fucked out like this, he looks picturesque.

“Don’t come…? Guys please, please just let me come, haah, I’ll- I’ll put on such a pretty show for you I p-promise!”

San shamelessly adjusts the raging hard-on in his pants as you watch, hand hovering over the tracking pad. “So he’s managed to hook up both a cock ring and a vibrator to the site’s donations, but there’s options both to make it vibrate but also to make it stop, which I’ve never really seen before. It’s like a bidding war between the ones who want to edge him and the ones who want to make him come, which might be hell for him but holy hell is he raking in mad cash that way.”

“That’s actually so smart,” you hum thoughtfully, “Leveraging control freaks’ need for control to make even more money. Guess the orgasm denial enthusiasts are winning tonight, huh?”

“Do you think this is how they afforded all that fancy shit for their stage? Look, that guy just donated a hundred bucks to edge him again. If I can make this much money off camming, I can quit Snack Falcon for good and get like a day’s worth of pay in an hour or two!”

Sunwoo isn’t even paying attention to what he’s saying, fixated on the view on the screen and the sounds of Hyunjin’s whimpering filtering from the speakers. He slips a hand down the waistband of his pants and boxers to stroke himself languidly, wetting his lips. “He’s fucking hot.”

Jerking off to porn together isn’t exactly the most common activity between the renegades, but it’s not unheard of, either, if one of you happen to stumble across something hot enough to be worth sharing. It’s just that most of the time, with so many options readily available, you don’t really need to look for porn when the group chat’s attachments are full of it, and you could create an equally hot or even hotter scenario yourselves.

It’s still normal enough that you all just fall into it naturally without talking about it, San also tugging his cock free to jerk it a lot hastier than Sunwoo, obviously riled up from the moment he entered the apartment, shamelessly letting his head fall back and a groan filter from his lips at the sight. “He’s so fucking hot it’s unfair.”

Unfair to who? You think San is arguably just as breathtaking, but it doesn’t seem like the right time to voice that thought, especially after everything that just happened, so you keep that part to yourself and simply take in the sight of him, jaw clenched and almost fucking into his fist before turning back to the screen.

“Yeah, no kidding. Perfect face, perfect body, I can’t really say I’m surprised people are paying hundreds just to have their way with him,” you mutter in awe, working your fly undone because that visual is enough to make you throb but the sounds just make it maddening. Is that how desperate he usually sounds, or is that just him on camera? You’re itching to find out, already having decided on your next target for your borderline malicious flirting.

To your surprise, Sunwoo slaps your hands away with his free one before you can slip them down your underwear, but before you can protest or ask why he replaces it with his own, quick to rub at your enlarged clit without any of his usual teasing. You’re not sure if he just feels like it, or if it has anything to do with the conversation you were having before San interrupted, but if that is the case you’re not exactly sure what the message he’s trying to give is supposed to be. You don’t oppose to it though, happy to reach over and grab his dick instead, but he doesn’t let you do that either, clearly insistent on you not doing any of the work and him getting both of you off. You’re almost shocked that San doesn’t complain at being left out, but he’s not even looking at you two, just at Hyunjin’s trembling form on his laptop.

“O-Oh fuck, my love– my loves, I’m close, please, please let me come, d-don’t you think I deserve it? Ha-ah… please…!”

He desperately glances somewhere beyond the camera, and that answers your question from earlier; someone lucky is in the room with him – you wonder who, whether it’s a partner, a bandmate, or some else, but the thought doesn’t occupy you for long as much as the thought of him liking an audience even without a camera – watching as Hyunjin’s mouth falls open in a silent plea; please. He must be truly at his limit if he’s asking someone to interfere with his viewer’s wishes just for the sake of his orgasm, but the beautiful distress on his face tells you that whoever is on the other side of the camera isn’t budging. You like seeing him a mess like this, rather than the pretty and powerful man you saw on stage and talking to Felix at the Prism, and knowing that he’s your competition has you hoping they prolong his suffering just a bit longer; the thought of seeing him break and cry along with the feeling of Sunwoo’s skilled fingers between your legs has you almost dizzy.

“San, make him turn it off.”

“Wait, what?” San finally looks at you, hands balled into fists by your side as Sunwoo continues working his magic. “Like, turn off the stream or–“

“No, donate like twenty bucks to turn it off, I’ll pay you back later– I just hope no one pays higher to keep it on…”

“You’re cruel,” San scoffs, but he’s grinning just as sadistically as you as he sets up the donation to turn off the cock ring and the vibrator at the same time, and to your luck, as soon as the donation goes through, Hyunjin’s body goes limp as both toys immediately turn off.

“No, no, no, please let me come!” Hyunjin borderline screams, voice cracking under the strain as tears stain his pretty cheeks. His hips twitch in search of the stimulation he just lost, but within seconds he’s spurting cum all over his stomach and the sheets beneath him completely untouched, gasping and thrashing around on the bed. “No, fuck, no, please…”

He sobs into the sheets, the muscles in his arms bulging with effort to free himself from his restraints, but the moment passes and his dick is still achingly hard and an angry red from his ruined orgasm. His ruined orgasm after being edged for possibly hours by strangers, the orgasm that you decided to ruin just to see him squirm.

The rush of power hits you all at once, and with the addition of Sunwoo rubbing at your clit with vigour, you follow after Hyunjin, hips bucking up into Sunwoo’s warm hand as your high rolls through you in waves. You don’t make much noise beyond a brief groan, wanting to hear Hyunjin continue to plead, higher-pitched this time as the toys turn on again to overstimulate him after having his orgasm ruined. He’s an absolute wreck, covered in sweat, tears and cum, hair sticking to his face and framing his head on the mattress like a crown, and you find yourself coming harder than you usually would just from rubbing one out with someone’s fingers.

Sunwoo smirks, retracting his hand and licking them clean, moaning at the taste as he finishes in his own fist, grunting lowly at the feeling. Wanting to repay his generosity, you lean over and take his dick in your mouth, sucking it clean and making him twitch wildly at the oversensitivity, but you move to suck his fingers clean instead before it becomes too much, and he strokes your hair affectionately with his free hand as a silent thank you.

San is a lot louder as he gets closer, moaning and biting his lip, face scrunched up in pleasure. “Me next, please, I’m so close, just–“ He gently holds the back of your head, and you allow him to lead you to his cock and take the tip in your mouth, wrapping your hand around the base while you suck. “Fuck! Yes, just like that, thank you, fuck, I’m gonna come– can you– can I–“

You hum in confirmation, swirling your tongue around him and making sure to drag the ball of your piercing along the underside of the sensitive head just the way he likes it, and he comes within seconds, emptying his load on your tongue. As hot as the action is, it doesn’t taste great, probably due to the amount of americanos he’s been drinking as of late – so, feeling a little cheeky, you lean up to kiss him in his post-orgasm glow, and make sure to shove your tongue in his mouth and give you a taste of himself.

“Mmh–!” He makes a cutely disgruntled noise as you, for all practical purposes, spit his cum back in his mouth, but he doesn’t push you off him right away. When he does, he clicks his tongue a few times with a scrunched nose, tasting himself, then sticks his tongue out. “Okay, loud and clear, you don’t have to say it.”

You snicker at that, happy with your petty revenge and his endearingly peeved expression. “Less coming in my mouth till you lessen your coffee intake, ya nasty.”

San chuckles, covering his face with his arm in mild embarrassment. Only mild – it would probably be far more embarrassing with a partner or a hook-up, but the runaways unique closeness shines through once more as it doesn’t seem to bother him or ruin the moment. There wasn’t much of a moment to ruin, really – it was simply a casual release between friends. Bandmates. Whatever. It was casual, is the point, and comfortable enough to pick on each other like this and for him to dismiss it. “Yeah, yeah. Maybe I’ll invest in some pineapple juice or something.”

Sunwoo simply snorts at the exchange, tucking himself back into his pants and getting up. “Alright, I’m gonna go get us dinner, San are you staying?”

He beams, dimples on full display, charming as can be. “If you would be so kind, yes please.”

The other man simply rolls his eyes as he grabs his keys and goes to slip his shoes on. “I’m only so generous to you because you effectively pay for all our snacks by not looking while on duty.” He turns to you just as he’s about to head out the door. “Give some thought to what we were talking about earlier.”

San glances at you in confusion at you at that, but you don’t pay him any mind. “I think I wanna hear your answer first, mister.”

Sunwoo quirks a brow, the slightest of smirks pulling at his plush lips. That damn infuriating smirk that you usually love but is now driving you an entirely foreign kind of crazy that you are not equipped to deal with.

“Hm. I think that in itself tells me yours.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to elaborate or respond, stepping out into the hallway and shutting the door behind him, leaving you feeling as exposed as Hyunjin was on the screen moments earlier. Of course he has to get the last word in, that ass – but the implications of it haunt you all the way to your bed that night, staring at the ceiling, while Sunwoo sleeps with an arm around you like nothing – or maybe everything? – ever happened.

109 notes · View notes

ceebit · 1 year

Text

okay let me do my new year post now bc i will most definitely be dragged out to party and then promptly pass out 😭

2022 has been a rough year for me, emotionally and physically. i went through a lot this year, academically, personally, mentally—by far one of the worst years i’ve ever pocketed. without getting into details, i hit my lowest point. and not to sound like that, but through kpop i found hope again. like a temporary crutch of sorts.

i joined kpopblr four months ago on september 19th! this blog hit its 4 month mark on the 19th this month, and while i didn’t openly celebrate that milestone on here, i took the time to sit back and really look on how my life has changed since then.

i’ve made so many good memories. and with those memories, i’ve met so many good people here. people that deserve more than the world for being friendly faces (despite not seeing y’all lmao) during my up and coming days. so i gotta shout y’all out because i wouldn’t be as comfortable in this space without u all.

@wonwooridul @seungkwan-s : the first official friends i made here. none of this would have been possible without u two !!! i love u both so so much please. 🤍🤍🤍

@hansolz : for giving me an invite to the caratblr server ): we don’t talk as much but never got to express how grateful i was (and still am) for opening that door for me. i really can’t thank u enough <3

@ the caratblr server : ik im the worst at being active in there but i’m so so happy to be there. being exposed to so many talented creators from writers to giffers and all those in between—it’s been so much fun getting to know u all (from the times i remember discord exists, at least 😭)

@minghao-s : rose my kpop lighthouse………. u are literally the reason behind everything here. i think fondly on that two hour boy group introduction a lot. thank u for taking the time to guide me through all of that. and for taking ur time with me ??? my memory is NOT the best and i do be forgetting things, but thank u for pulling and knocking sense into me ^_^ and ultimately being 1/2 mutuals who like to actively plot my k-demise…..

@wuahae : cat beloved </3 i had to mention the reason why there’s a significant sunwoo shaped crater in my skull. u are at fault for my recent lack of sleep and lack of appropriate decorum during the waking hours. (affectionate) jokes aside thank u for tbz infodumping at odd hours of the night and indulging in my relentless questions <333 hope u get ur vampire media one day 🫶🏽

and to rest my beloveds : @txtkids @caratonce/@silvmoonsky @haylo4ever/@dokyeomblr @haylo4ever @huiranghaes @naptimed @otlwoozi @theloserphenomenon @aceofvernons @woosanhui @98linerz @strawberri-uyu (and if you’re not here i’m so sorry 😭) thank you for filling my dash and literally making tumblr worthwhile each time i long on. my experience woukdnt be the same without y’all. love u all to the moon and back <3

to my readers : you are the reason i create!! the reason i find inspiration to continue to write. thank you for the endless tags and asks and reblogs and comments and everything. if i could hug all 800+ of u, i would. squeezing u all with so so so much love thru this screen. <333

and to my anons : thank you for some of the funniest moments i’ve ever seen in my life. you all r the reason the ask function was made. even if you haven’t come off anon, just know that i cherish each and every single ask you’ve sent to me—responded or not. (terribly sorry if i haven’t, tho… sometimes my brain tricks me into thinking i already have 🥲) hopefully some of you gain the courage to reveal yourselves so we can be friends :)

okay let me wrap this up before i start crying. tmrw starts a whole new year of kpop for me and all of you. here’s to more writings, creations, laughter, and good memories to come.

with love, from (hopefully) your favorite joshua-changbin-sunwoo juyeon-and-now-hongjoong enthusiast,

cece <3

#OK I GO !!! food just arrived and i’m so hungry oh my god #HAPPY NEW YEARS MY LOVES !!!!!!!#MAKE 2023 UR BITCH <3

27 notes · View notes

faarkas · 1 year

Text

15 questions for 15 mutuals

tagged by the lovely @rosebarsoap to do this lil game and I'm trying to be better about doing my tags sooo.

saying that I am already late and everybody has been tagged so. I shan't tag anybody my apologies,

1. are you named after anyone?

Naur but I have a middle name that is also my aunts middle name. :3

2. when was the last time you cried?

Like PROPER cried??? genuinely no idea. I used to cry really easily but for a long time its been literally 3 tears and then the rest just suck back up. I get choked up really easy but no tears allowed. On that note the latest season of queer eye has been hitting so hard. everybody go watch.

3. do you have kids?

no and I don't ever want them. I love kids I feel a drive to protect them and I'll babysit any day but I would be an absolutely terrible mother I'm too anxious and like. hot headed to have one of my own. Also a lot of my health issues are genetic and I wouldn't want to put anybody through that.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

uhhh maybe?? probably?? idk ask nat. or my mother. I try to be sarcastic in a dry funny way and not like an overly mean way. does not mean i always succeed tho :/

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

I've worked with horses for... 18 years?? so. heh. didn't want to or have the money to do anything else after i got involved with them.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Like. body language. and then eyes. theres so much u can learn about people just by the way they hold themselves yk

7. eye colour?

brown. >:)

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings. i need joy in my life. I like Some kind of spooky movies the older I get but largely I just want something chill. the like 1995-2012 romcom era is my heaven. CAN WE START RLY BRINGING THOSE MOVIES BACK PLEASE!

9. any special talents?

?? idk ig I know how to pull hay and get it off wagons quickly. I can look at like a solid wall of hay bales and go Yeah THATS the one that needs to come out and then either I or my friend will pull it and it'll bring half the wall down. we call it hay jenga but the goal is to get as much down as possible as fast as possible

10. where were you born?

west coast canada. do not live there anymore tho i swapped coasts :(

11. what are your hobbies?

writing, gaming, modding, sewing, giffing, baking, bothering all my mutuals, riding,,,,I am a jack of creative trades

12. do you have any pets?

two ponies, a big ass dog, and 4 cats. two of which are maine coons so. big ass cats. when u see me crowing about eric and iris in the tags of a post...i am talking about them :))

13. how tall are you?

5 foot. maybe 5'1". tiny. literally on saturday one of the moms at the barn bought a new western saddle cover and was like hilary u could fit in this jump in and i honestly think I might have been able to.

14. favourite subject in school?

i really did not enjoy school tbh im rly not an academic but maybe history.

15. dream job?

the answer to this question has evaded me for nearing 24 years. at one point in time (age like. 4-11) i would have KILLED to be a thoroughbred jockey but nowadays...idk man. if I could do something with horses that would be great. thats my one true skillset baby but mein health....

#this is so horse centric oh my god #hil.txt #tagged #ty rosie <333

1 note · View note

dragonji · 3 years

Text

*rattles the bars of my cage* im making hualian fandragons on flight rising but i lowkey left the community and no one knows what im talking about in the tgcf discord chats but i have IDEAS

#j.txt #am i about to revive my fr blog solely for these two dragons? Maybe So!#already have outfits put together for them i just need fake dragon monies to actually purchase things... might reopen fr commissions for it #mutuals if u would like to see PLEASE hit me up i am so in love w their designs so far

1 note · View note

bucksfucks · 2 years

Text

an indefinite hiatus ♥︎

hey friends, to start let me just say that i will summarize all of my rambling at the end so you can just scroll down to it, besties.

before i begin, i just want to say thank you to each and every single person who has ever liked, reblogged, read, or interacted with this blog. this has been a wonderful chapter of my life and i don’t think i can put into words how meaningful all of our interactions have been!

i’ve had this blog for almost 2 years, but i have been on tumblr since 2014, so too fucking long one could argue. basically, tumblr has become a very large part in my life (YIKES). so i’ll try to put into words how i feel:

i am exhausted, drained, and completely and utterly burnt out.

there was a time where i could pump out stories after stories while answering asks and doing au days while juggling everything else, but i no longer have the mental energy for that. and it is to no one’s fault but my own—i did this to myself.

as many of you know, i’m a graduate student. i’m at the end of my masters and truthfully, i have no fucking idea what i want to do after. i haven’t decided if i can manage a phd (or if it’s worth it) or if i want to take time off or jump right into a job.

but what i do know, is that i need a break.

before august of 2021, i was really active on this blog and i think many of you remember those days and truth be told…i miss being able to be on here as much as i once was!

in all honesty, i’ve hit a creative roadblock. i love bucky barnes and i love marvel, just not like before. something shifted a little while back and i haven’t felt inspired to write something i enjoyed.

i took a bit of a break a few weeks ago and before that, i wasn’t on here very much at all. that felt nice. it was refreshing and something that i clearly and very desperately needed.

i also realized that i want to do more than write pure smut. now please let me clarify; i love writing filthy and sinful things. but i want to explore other areas such as character and world building. so, maybe that’s something i’ll pursue after some time as well.

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO FAKING IT?

this is a story that i really like writing and while i cannot PROMISE to update it….any updates will be done on my a03.

this leads me into the next point: what’s happening to the blog and my writing?

this blog will NOT go anywhere. it will remain up and i will NOT take down any of my stories (though i will transfer them slowly onto my a03). that being said, please do not copy, save or plagiarize any of my work in my absence.

i might come back, though, most likely not on here. if i do, it will be under a new blog and if you happen to find me later on i promise you’ll know it’s me.

masterlist | masterlist ii. | my a03

to finish…i guess i’ve been feeling this way for a really long time, but i’ve been desperately holding onto this blog for some unknown reason. this is my safe space and i always knew that i could come back, but today, i got a sign that it was time.

please remember to protect your mental health first. take time for you and focus on yourself always. i want everyone to know that i have loved being besties with anyone and everyone who interacted with me. i mean it. so many of you are such wonderful, genuine people with hearts so big it makes me feel like the luckiest person on the internet.

this is becoming too long for no reason other than i’m a virgo. so. let me wrap this up real quick <<3

TL;DR — i’m blipping out. nothing will be deleted. i may come back (not on this blog). i’ll always be a slut for bucky. i love u all oh so very much. thank you for absolutely everything.

i would tag mutuals but…that feels weird. idk. i have this weird idea in my head that i’m a burden (something i need to work on) so if you’re seeing this and you’re my mutual…lots of forehead kisses for you!

side note: this is oddly something i’m struggling to do. to leave this blog—i’m hesitating. but i know i need to do this. so here i am, ripping off the bandaid.

much much love,

nora.

#nora talks to herself ＊*♡( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ）

421 notes · View notes

kiss-inthekitchen · 3 years

Text

all that you ask of me | loki laufeyson

summary: you and Loki have a discussion about your kinks, and you learn something about him that you weren’t expecting

wc: 1.5k

warnings: smutty themes!! talk of bdsm, both reader and loki are switches and they aren't chill about it, teasing, light degradation but in a cute way, sub!loki, dom!loki, f!reader. loki has huge bisexual switch energy and i had to put it in a fic

a/n: title is kind of unrelated lol it makes more sense in the next chapter. pls let me know if you like it, i love when u guys leave comments or tags !

It’s been a few weeks since you and Loki had started dating and your sexual chemistry has been insane, which was a surprise to neither of you. You’d started out as friends, and even then, any time Loki had so much as brushed his fingers along your skin you felt something akin to electricity spike through your body. And though he was loath to admit it at first, Loki felt the same. So, once you finally gave in to your mutual feelings for each other, things only got more exciting.

Though the two of you had been having sex for weeks, you hadn’t really done anything too spicy yet, still getting used to this new aspect of your relationship. Now, though, you’d decided it would be a good idea to get it all out there, rather than try to figure it out as you went along. Besides, something about the idea of talking things out with Loki like it was nothing more than a casual conversation was thrilling to you.

You and Loki were sitting on the couch, your legs resting in his lap as he absentmindedly soothed circles into one of your calves. You smiled fondly at the way he always had to be touching some part of you. The two of you had covered a few topics already, going over safewords (you were partial to the traffic light system, and Loki agreed) and some of your hard limits, and now you were on to the fun part. Specifically, a rather exciting interest your partner had just confessed to.

“You know,” you mused, unable to keep the teasing smile off your face, “I wouldn’t have expected you to be into submission, what with your whole...thing.”

“My whole thing?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows at your choice of words. You suppressed a laugh. He probably would’ve spent more time on his faux outrage if the look on your face wasn’t so damn cute. “Yes, well. I am full of surprises, aren’t I?”

You hummed in response. “I mean, I had hoped you’d be into it. Or, I guess, fantasized, would be the better w-”

“Did you?” He cut you off, sounding all too pleased.

“Oh, for a while now,” you smirked.

“You’ve been holding out on me,” he said, the admiration in his eyes shifting to smugness as he continued, “I wouldn’t expect you to be a dom, what with your whole thing.”

You made a show of rolling your eyes at him. He wasn’t wrong, though. Compared to Loki, you were much more bubbly and warm, not that he was really so cold anymore, but he was still… him. On top of that, your style tended to lean more toward pastel colors, though lately you were known to also rock some dark green tones. You supposed that from the outside, people would assume you to be the more submissive one in the relationship. Which you definitely could be, but your tastes went both ways.

“Okay, I deserved that,” you relented. “Now come on, tell me what I want to know.”

“Okay, well. I’ve no problem with bondage, as I’m sure you know.”

“You do seem to end up in chains quite often, my love. But... not sexually?” You’d meant for it to be a statement, but then you realized you actually had no idea, your voice lilting up into a question.

He fixed you with a look that very clearly told you you’d been wrong.

Well, okay then. “Right,” you responded, a little breathier than before, trying not to let your imagination run wild just yet. Loki squeezed your ankle playfully, bringing you back before you could lose focus. “So, is there anything you’re not okay with, bondage-wise? Like, collars, ties, cuffs…?” You trailed off.

He thought for a moment. “No, it’s all fine with me. What about you?”

“Cuffs kinda freak me out, actually. I don’t have superhuman strength and all.”

“Noted. Oh, one thing I do want to mention- I’m going to have to ask that you refer to me exclusively as ‘Your Majesty’ when I’m in charge,” he said, expression unwavering.

Your mouth dropped open for a second before you asked, “Wait, seriously?”

He broke into a mischievous grin. “No. But if you’d really like to, I suppose I wouldn’t stop you,” he said the last bit thoughtfully, and you playfully hit his arm with the back of your hand in admonishment. “Ooh, harder,” he said, still with an air of mischief, though you got the sense he wasn’t entirely kidding.

“Loki!” you gasped.

“Alright,” he laughed lightly. “Great God of Mischief will work just as well.”

“I am not calling you that.”

“You’re being so difficult.”

“Will you just tell me what you like to be called already? If you carry on like this, I swear, I will call you Captain.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, glaring at you, and you raised an eyebrow as if to ask, care to test that theory? “Okay, I yield. But, honestly, it depends on the scene. If you’re comfortable with it, I’ll have you call me ‘sir’ most of the time, ‘daddy’ on special occasions. You’re a smart girl. I trust that you’ll know when those occasions come about.”

You just nodded, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. Why were you having such a reaction to Loki calling you a smart girl? He’d definitely noticed.

“What would you like to be called? When you’re the dominant?” Loki asked, saving you from your thought spiral.

“Oh, um. Ma’am is fine. None of the other terms really work for me, I don’t know why, they just seem kind of… too much, I guess,” you over-explained, feeling your cheeks start to heat up.

“Ma’am is just fine?” Loki pressed.

“No, it’s- it’s good. I, um, really like it.” Your cheeks flamed even hotter now, your gaze trained on the couch cushion.

Loki reached out and lifted your chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him. “Come now, you were doing so well. Don’t get shy on me now,” he said, voice taking on that deep timbre that made you feel like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“Okay,” you breathed, your mind gone completely blank as you looked at him.

“Good girl,” he said softly. He didn’t miss the way your body reacted to the praise, a smug smirk plastered on his face.

Bastard. You narrowed your eyes at him, shaking your head slightly to clear it. “That’s not fair,” you countered weakly.

“Isn’t it? I’m just trying to figure out what you like,” he feigned innocence.

“Right,” you said, only a little petulantly, trying to think of what else you wanted to ask him before he’d distracted you. “How do you feel about degradation?” You blurted out. “Receiving, I mean.”

That caught him off guard, to your great enjoyment. “I- I’m not sure. No one’s ever tried it.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve been tied up but no one’s ever called you names?”

“No,” he responded, frowning slightly. You could practically see the gears turning in his head. “I think I might be okay with it.”

“My honey, you’ve been so deprived,” you said with a pout. It was your turn to have a little fun now. “So,” you started, trailing your fingertips up his forearm, drawing his attention to your touch before you continued. “If, for example, I had you on your knees, and you were being so good for me, and I just happened to call you my obedient little slut-” he inhaled sharply, and you couldn’t help but grin, “-you would, theoretically, be okay with that?” You looked up into his eyes, seeing the flash of desire that had settled there.

“I think that would be acceptable,” he spoke, clearly putting in effort to keep his voice even.

You smiled, pleased with yourself. It was cute that he still tried to seem unaffected when you could literally feel the way his cock had stiffened against you. You shifted the position of your leg in his lap, lightly brushing against him, and he gasped.

“Pathetic,” you chide.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. As much as he may try to seem unimpressed with your teasing, he was certainly susceptible to it. “If you want us to get through the rest of the conversation, you’re going to have to stop that,” he says, but it comes out more like a plea than an order, and he’s sure that you’re going to be the death of him.

You chuckle, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.”

“It seems I’ve underestimated you, dearest,” he says, tone laced through with affection.

You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, drawing him closer to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

“Well, that’s a mistake we won’t make twice. Isn’t it, love?”

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki smut #sub!loki #dom!loki #mcu loki #i had too much fun writing this lmao #it's the switching for me!!!#bisexual switch messes only in this house <3 #my fics #pls interact w this if you liked it i need validation lol

463 notes · View notes

forsworned · 2 years

Text

a mutually arranged attachment. (yoriichi tsugikuni x reader)

warnings » violence word count » 5.8k categories » f/m, multi chapters » one two three four five six seven eight

relationships » modern college student au! yoriichi tsugikuni x f!reader characters » yoriichi tsugikuni, uncle keshi (oc), kisho (oc) author’s note » ugh guys im so sorry i am finally approaching the end of my semester and i have these dumb ass finals so it was so hard to update this chapter !! i hope u enjoy and as always please feel free to give me feedback or leave some nice comments thanks!!

Sunday nights had always been the bane of your existence. The way you procrastinated all your assignments and did them at the very last minute was very on brand of you, but you quite literally just could not help it. You always contemplated if it would be easier to buy aderrall from your neighbor, but it somehow had always slipped your mind. You stared at your computer screen as your mind wandered off to him. You really couldn't help it. I mean just yesterday you and your friends were talking about how you're beginning a courtship and how you and Yoriichi had to have a conversation about it, but your phone has remained silent. He made no attempts of trying to contact you. It both relieved you and made you tense with anticipation. You wanted to text him and ask him what the fuck was up, but honestly? He needed to contact you first. It only made sense for him to, right?

Either way you were very much fighting the urge to text him what exactly was going on. He definitely owed you an explanation, but for now you were in Yoriichi purgatory and it was starting to feel like an eternity trapped in the unknown. You finished the last of your reflection and closed all your tabs which was relieving to say the least. It was always satisfying watching all of them getting deleted one by one knowing you were completely finished. You sighed as you got up to get ready to go to bed. You went to the bathroom and flicked the lights on and suddenly you had a eerie feeling that made the hairs on the back on your neck creep up. You tried to ignore it as you turned on the shower and stepped in letting the steamy water hit your skin, but even as you tried to scrub at your skin like you did your own thoughts the feeling wouldn't leave you. You felt like someone was watching you and you couldn't shake it.

It was as if your mind was playing tricks on you because you began to see shadows forming behind your shower curtains and you pulled them back quickly to see nothing there. You sighed as you pulled the curtains back to their original place and shook your head.

"You're okay, [name]." You muttered to yourself. You weren't sure who you were trying to reassure because it definitely wasn't yourself.

As you finished up, you could've sworn you heard something rustle in your room on the other side of the door, but you felt very done with being paranoid. You began your nightly routine of brushing your teeth and hair and washing your face and then you heard another noise and it was a bit louder this time. You felt your heart begin to beat against your chest as you applied your face lotion and rushed to put some clothes on just in case someone had broken into your apartment. If someone had managed to get in, how did you not hear it?

Millions of thoughts were rushing in your mind as you tried to find anything to defend yourself with. You silently cursed to yourself when you remembered your taser and pepper spray were in your bag that was on top of your bed.

"Perfect timing, [name]." You whispered frustrated at yourself. Your eyes scanned the room and they finally landed on the wooden back scratcher that Shinobu had gifted to you when her and her family went to Osaka last summer.

I guess this will have to do...

You secured your hair back with a hair claw and inserted a spare razor blade in between the spaces of hair that was pulled back just in case your attacker grabbed at your hair. You felt your throat dry up as you reached for the door handle and you opened it carefully checking the dimly lit room.

Of course, you only had your desk lamp on. It was dark in all the wrong corners of the room and you slowly emerged from the bathroom as you tightly clutched the wooden makeshift weapon. As soon as you felt the coast was mildly clear, you rushed to your bag on your bed to find your pepper spray and taser.

You dumped out the contents of your bag and your eyes landed on your pink and purple taser and pepper spray, but as your reached to grab it you felt someone cover your mouth and put you flush against their chest. The feeling of your heart dropping to your feet was enough to send you into fight or flight mode. You instinctively lifted your leg and centered it as best as possible to send it to your captors groin. The sound of them groaning was your signal to launch forward and grab your pepper spray. Without a second thought you began to spray at the shadowed figure.

"Fuck! [name]! Goddammit--stop!" You heard the shadowed figure whisper yell at they began to get up.

That voice...

"Yoriichi?!" You whispered back in disbelief. He slowly emerged out of the darkness and there he was low and behold, rubbing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

"Yeah, your pepper spray is a bit outdated."

"What--" You looked from him to your apparently useless pepper spray. "What the fuck are you doing in my room and how did you get in here?!"

Yoriichi opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of your doorknob jingling caused him to swiftly move behind you and bring you to the inside of your closet and quietly shut the door behind you both. His hand was now covering your mouth and you were flushed against his chest again. Can somebody say deja vu?

"Be very quiet and very still." His voice was just barely a whisper but it was perfectly clear to you.

You had no choice but to listen to him, yet again, but this time your mouth was covered instead of your eyes. You heard your door slowly open and your heartbeat was starting to quicken. The warmth of Yoriichi's hand was suddenly over yours as he squeezed it gently and began to trace patterns over your knuckles in what seemed like an attempt to calm you down. Luckily for him, it did.

It was still for a moment before you saw a shadow appear under the door and with one swift movement you were behind Yoriichi's back as the door opened. Your eyes widened as you saw the figure of a man who held a gun in his hand and the next thing you knew Yoriichi disarmed him and his fist connected with his jaw with such a force that it made the man collapse onto the ground. Blood splattered onto your wooden floors and you watched as the figure went limp against your bed post with a large thud. You could only stand there in disbelief as you examined the man who was now conscious on your floor.

You watched as Yoriichi took the man's pulse and pulled his dark shoulder length hair back to analyze his face. It was then that you realized that he looked like any other man that passed you on the street and that absolutely terrified you. You could be in danger at any moment of your life and it was all because you decided to go out one night with a guy you had a crush on. Some fucking luck you had.

"[name]." He looked up from the man who was laid up on the floor to your terrified state. He immediately got up to embrace you in his addicting embrace. "You're okay."

His hands were cupping your face and you were slightly brought back to reality. His hand was now over yours trying to loosen the fist you made over your chest. You hadn't noticed that you were clutching onto the pendant that hung around your neck.

"What the fuck just happened." Your voice was shaking and your lip trembled with fear.

"It's happening." Yoriichi spoke. His eyes were filled with such sorrow and concern for your well being. He never wanted this to happen. He was only moments away from you being--

He shook his head away from the thoughts that were about to consume him. All that mattered right now was that you were safe and he was there before anything happened to you.

It was your turn to go limp. He held you as you began to process everything that just happened. You could only stare at the man who was still on the floor.

"Yoriichi--I--I could've been dead or I don't know something really bad could've happened." Your fists were balled up into his hoodie. His hands were on yours again.

"But you're not. You're alive," He began but you turned your head away. He lifted his hand to gently make you face him. His maroon eyes were sincere as ever. It was so annoying how you were melting under his gaze when you really should've been angry with him. "I'm sorry for those things that I said to you."

Now he had your full attention (as if he already didn't by breaking into your room). His thumb caressed your cheek and you watched as he moistened his lips.

"I shouldn't have said that we shouldn't see each other anymore. I was just scared that it would happen again."

You held his hand with your own. "Of what happening again?"

You searched his face frantically for answer, but as he was finding the right words to say. The man who was once unconscious was towering over the both of you and you felt your life flash before yours for a moment, but before he could even raise his hand he was whacked upside the head with what looked like a wooden baseball bat. And just like that he was out like a light once again.

The bat whipped back to rest onto the shoulder of none other than yes, you guessed it (maybe), Uncle Keshi.

"You know, I know this is an emotional reunion and all, but you two would've been dead meat if I hadn't shown up when I did." Uncle Keshi's winning smile was one of the things that really made him who he was. Hell, his mugshot was literally him sporting the same exact smile.

"That's not true. I was ready." Yoriichi's hand was now on his waist.

You hadn't even noticed that he was armed himself. You swallowed hard as you began to think about how you were now officially a target.

Keshi was now crouched down looking at the man who was passed out again and reached under his shirt to pull out a dog tag. You could barely make it out but it looked like the image of a canine with gruesome looking teeth engraved into the metal and he flipped it over to see a nickname.

Keshi scoffed."K9, how original."

He gazed up from his position to see that you were still in Yorichii's arms. Your wet hair had dampened the shoulders of your crewneck and you looked like your eyes were about to fall out of your head. To say you were shaken up was an understatement.

"I know this is sudden, but you can't stay here anymore, kid. It's not safe." Keshi voiced as he opened his backpack to fish out some rope. He began to swiftly, yet expertly bind the man's arms and legs together.

"He's right, [name]. You can't stay here anymore." Yoriichi was facing you now. His arms holding you snug against him, but the words coming out of his mouth weren't making sense to you.

"What--? What do you mean? Why can't I stay here anymore?" Your voice was still trembling in fear. There wasn’t even a single part of your brain that could even process what was going on.

”You need to pack your things, kiddo.” Keshi stood up and he brushed off his hands and examined his handy work.

"Pack my--pack my things? What do you mean pack my things? I signed a 12 month lease for this place!!" To say you were panicking was an understatement.

Keshi sighed and shook his head and then put his hand on your shoulder. "Look it's already taken care of. The safest thing for you to do is pack the things you need and head over to Yoriichi's place."

What in the y/n?!

You looked from Keshi to Yoriichi and then began to laugh hysterically. They could not be serious. "You're kidding right?"

They both shared a look and your face dropped. "Oh my God, you're being serious. "

"[name]..." Yoriichi reached out to touch you but you brushed him as you shook your head.

"I just don't understand why you couldn't just tell me."

"It's...complicated." Yoriichi's eyes averted to the wood paneled floor. As much as you knew that you shouldn't have, you still felt somewhat betrayed and upset at Yoriichi. Yes, it was indeed complicated but it would've been smarter to actually tell you straight up instead of you asking an Ex-Yakuza offspring about what the hell you got yourself wrapped up in.

"I'm sorry for how this all turned out, but this isn't on Yoriichi." Keshi finally spoke up as he threw the unconscious man over his shoulder. "Pack what you can and then we'll be sure to get everything later."

As Keshi left the same way he came, you felt yourself starting to lose your breath as you collapsed onto your bed. The room began to feel like it was spinning and like something was sucking the life out of you. The feeling was familiar and suffocating.

"[name], swallow your spit. It helps." You heard Yoriichi's worried voice as he held you in his arms. Yoriichi could sense that you were having a full blown panic attack and he wanted to do anything and everything to remedy that. "I know this sounds insane, but this is exactly what I wanted to keep you away from. You have every right to be upset, but please trust me. I want--I need to protect you. I didn't want to choose this life for you, but my parents..."

"I know. Well, kind of." You spoke abruptly as you swallowed your spit as best as you could. You didn't want to exactly out Tengen, but this conversation was already two days over due.

He looked at you slighlty confused. "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

You didn't look at him as you spoke. "I know your family is apart of the Yakuza and that the anniversary was the revival of the Hanafuda." You snuck a peep at Yoriichi who looked down at you incredulously. "And that by me coming with you to the party is also officiating our courtship."

The last part was quieter, but it was loud as ever to Yoriichi. He did plan on telling you everything when you finally got settled into his place, but it still was shocking hearing it from you considering that he had no idea how you knew any of that. Well, he did actually have an idea who could've told you, but right now he had to work on getting your most important things in a suitcase and out of there.

"We can talk about this when you're no longer in any danger." Yoriichi finally mustered up. He brushed the side of your face with his hand as he looked at you. You felt like you were under his spell again, but what else was new.

"Let's pack the things you need."

* * *

The car ride to Yoriichi's mystery apartment felt unnecessarily long. It was only five miles away from campus but the amount of turns that he had made was making you car sick. The only thing that was keeping you from hurling out the window was Yoriichi's hand ontop of yours, tracing patterns on the top of your hand like he did before he molly-whopped the guy who broke into your apartment.

You could barely pay attention to roads that led to what was supposedly your new home. Lines and lines of trees covered the side of the road until suddenly you were met with a well lit building that looked like it was bulky and slightly gritty and grey on the outside. It didn't look like much, but you heard about buildings like these. If it was what you thought it was. There was only about 30 or less tenants because the rooms inside were insanely huge and each tenant was a billionare or close to it.

Yoriichi noticed how you sat up almost instantly as you eyed the building with your full attention. He wanted to feel happy that you were finally with him again, but the target that practically painted on the back of your head was disturbing him like the ringing in your ear when you listen to loud music; it was constant and nagging at him, but he couldn't turn down the noise in his head if he wanted to. As pulled up to the gated area, he greeted the security guard and scanned his fingerprint to let himself in. The courtyard looked what you could muster up in one word--expensive.

It wasn't the tacky kind of expensive. It was the quiet kind of rich. There was elegant flowers you had no idea the names of but they were pretty and pale pink lining the pathway to the building. The lighting was bright enough for you to see every inch of it and that made you feel somewhat safe considering that you were a walking target.

It was a little hard not to be flabbergasted by such high security, but Yoriichi's mind was way too preoccupied to entertain that right now. As the car reached the parking garage, you noticed that he had a parking spot with his name on it. A large beautifully detailed white koi fish was painted on the concrete. You sat silently as he opened his door and unloaded your things out of the trunk. It wasn't until now that you noticed how sleek and pretty the interior of the car was since you had entered it in the dead of night and the road your now former apartment was on had few lights.

Yoriichi opened your passenger door and ducked his head to peep at you. "Let's head inside."

His voice was even and calm. Even in a situation as shitty as this he had managed to keep you mostly undisturbed. You only nodded as you exited the car and you finally caught a glimpse of it. It was jet back and just as sleek and sexy as the inside was. The front of the vehicle sported a silver mustang and the top of the car had a removeable roof. It was very fitting to him.

"Nice car." You said breaking the silence.

A small smile crept onto his perfect lips. "Thanks. It's a 1969 Ford Mustang."

"Honestly, I know nothing about cars, but it suits you." You replied as he scanned his fingerprint again to open the door for you. The pleasant smell of eucalptyus hits your nose.

"Oh yeah, how's that?"

You stayed quiet for a moment as you walked down the long halls. It was brightly lit and the walls were lined with crisp white paint that looked like it was always kept in pristine condition. The floors in contrast were black wooden panels that were laid down to perfection and not a single one was out of place.

"It's..." You thought for a moment how you would respond to him as you finally reached the tall elevator doors and held his finger print to the pad in front of him and hit the the up button. "...dark and mysterious and pretty sexy."

You didn't know exactly why you felt the need to say something so unhinged, but honestly the night had already felt unreal and dreamlike, so why not add to the chaos?

Yoriichi had seemed pretty taken aback as he gawked at you with slightly tinted red cheeks. He hadn't expected you out of all people to say something so bold (and not controversial at all). Before he could open his mouth the elevator doors had opened and a doorman had greeted him.

"Good evening, Yoriichi, [name]. Everything is ready." He spoke as he bowed. You noticed that the man looked a lot more rugged than the average doorman. He had a scar over his left eye and tattoos were peaking under his collar shirt and around the endges of his exposed forearms from rolling up his sleeves. It wasn't until you saw that he was wearing a Hanafuda necklace that it had finally clicked.

"Thank you, Kisho." Yoriichi bowed back and you did the same as you murmured a 'thank you". Kisho gave you a small smile and it made you feel a little more comfortable in this unknown building.

You could tell that there was an immense level of trust and respect from both parties being that there was so much comfort from the way that they had addressed each other like old comrades. If you could guess, Kisho was probably in his mid-thirties, but he looked just slightly older than Yoriichi.

As Yoriichi pressed the the button on the elevator doors they began to close,and suddenly the large space in the elevator felt very small. It wasn’t exactly awkward but it also wasn’t the most comfortable. Little did you know, he thanked God that Kisho was already in the elevator because part of him knew that he would be stumbling over his words Yoriichi couldn’t quite think straight after your certain choice of wording when he was conversing with Kisho about current events, but he didn't show any signs of being distraught.

You didn't feel rejected at all knowing that you were only here due to the fact that something romantic was budding between the both of you and well, more over the obvious fact that you two were kinda technically engaged to him at the moment minus the ring. It was just a little confusing to see how well put together he was after looking so flustered. I mean you weren't lying about how you felt, but maybe it was a bit too unhinged. You felt a little satisfaction knowing that you made him a little uncomfortable given the events that had occured no thanks to him.

You remained quiet as you slightly fidgeted your feet noticing that one of shoes were untied. As you bent over to tie them, the elevator doors finally opened and you had to take a double take when you finally looked up. You couldn't believe what you were looking at. You didn't even know ceilings could even be that high. The only ones that you ever laid eyes on were ones in magazines or online news articles about celebrities living in crazy penthouses, but this was something completely out of any celebs league.

The large window panels that made up most of the living room had an amazing view of the city. The night just happened to clear enough to see the waning moon in the sky. You hadn't even noticed how you were slowly walking towards the window until you almost tripped over a piece of furniture. You held onto the soft material of the couch and it felt, expensive.

You slowly retracted your hand and looked around in shock at how utterly breathtaking it was. Your eyes immediately went the middle of the room where it was the most vibrant which was the conversation pit that gave it a rich retro look. Conversation pits weren't very common due to people reverting to electronics over having face to face communication. Which was reasonable, in today's day and age most people had abnormally high levels of anxiety, stress and depression, but something about the feel of this room was just homey. The pit was in the form of a circle and the couches were jet black suede with various fun patterns and colored pillows that matched the couches' aethestic. The fire place in the middle gave it a cozier look.

You suddenly imagined yourself and Yoriichi sitting together sharing coffee with a large cable knit blanket drapped over your backs, but then your eyes landed on the carpet. The koi fish had made another guest appearance in a ying yang design. And the icing on cake? The largest Hanafuda banner you've ever seen hanging on the opposite end of the room. Could it get any more Yakuza than this?

You noticed that there was no television set up in that area, but rather it was in the kitchen that looked like it was built for the best of the best of chefs. And the more you looked around the more and more envious you were becoming. You really hadn't mean to, but just knowing that Yoriichi was living such a fine lifestyle while you paying off your rent with student loans. The way that his uncle had just said everything was taken over had replayed in your head.

"Yeah, I can see what he meant by that now." You murmured to yourself as you walked aimlessly around the room looking at the various mod and psychdelic decor.

You finally landed yourself in front of a beautifully lit aquarium that was to the left of the pit. You were completely entranced by the coral reef that covered most of the bottom of the tank with what seemed like a few handfuls of beautiful fish. A Discus fish had caught your eye and you watched as it swam past the other fish and then rested ontop of a small fragment of everlasting...everlasting...

"It's called everlasting gobstopper." Yoriichi's soft yet deep voice had suddenly spoke up to the right of you. You didn't look at him, instead you simply analyzed it even closer. It indeed did look like gobstoppers, but with tendrils like flowers and loads of them clustered together.

"Right...I was trying to think of the last part of it. Gobstopper. They're beautiful." You finally looked at him. He looked like he had lived 10 lives in one day. His had was a disheveled mess much thanks to the chaos that ensued earlier. You were now feeling a little guilty for teasing him earlier, but it's not like you were lying.

"They are..." His eyes tore away from the tank to you. His maroon gaze was burning into yours as he took your chin between his fingers to tilt upwards to him. You felt your heart starting to leap out of your chest again. "...just like you."

You took it back. You no longer felt bad for teasing him.

He stood still as he searched your face, but you felt apprehensive under his intense gaze. From the moment a small smirk formed on his lips you knew he was trying to get back at you for teasing him earlier. He brushed his index finger across your cheek as he spoke up again.

"I should wash up and you should dry your hair off. We can either talk when I'm out of the shower or tomorrow or whenever you're comfortable. I know this is all crazy and it'll take awhile to adjust." He stepped a little closer, closing the space between you two and it was the same atmosphere that you two had created that night when he was about to kiss you before you went inside. "I'm here for you, [name]. And not just because we're well..."

He averted his eyes for a moment thinking to choose his words carefully. "...Technically engaged at the moment."

He let out a sigh before returning his gaze to you again. "I really am here for you. I'm going to protect you at any cost. It was unfortunate that you were forceably put into this situation, but I'll make it as bearable as I can."

You returned his warmth by placing your hand on top of his and smiled at him. He visibly relaxed at your reaction. "You make it sound like I don't even like you."

"I wouldn't be surprised if by now you didn't." He chuckled, as he took your hand in his and brought it up to his. He lightly kissed the knuckle of your index finger and you felt goosebumps starting to rise as you stared at his lips just barely connecting to your skin. You swallowed dryily and yes dryily because he was making you feel real thirsty.

You cleared your throat and looked to the wooden paneled floor. "Well, I don't so...so just take your shower."

He smiled as he took your hand in his leading you to the hallway. "I'll show you to your room."

You simply followed him as he escorted you down a long open hallway that was fusuma style with gold traditionally painted japanese dragons lining the walls. It had a similar look to what you could remember from the office. Your inner thoughts had come to a stop as he slid fusuma door open and right in front of your eyes was another easter egg. The room was tatami style with the same larger than life window panels and in the center closer to the windows was a platform bed with your name on it. Not literally, but you were beginning to feel tired just looking at it and now it was yours.

He walked into the room and you noticed that your luggage was placed neatly and untouched in the corner of the room. Kisho must have left them in your room as you were poking around and dipped out immediately.

You watched as Yoriichi opened the bathroom light on and it looked like a bath house.

"This is unnecessarily huge." You said looking around. And it was. The bathtub looked like it could hold at least seven people and the shower appeared almost as if there was no glass separating it from the rest of the room. It even had a little bench to sit on. If you were being honest the thing you actually liked most was the fact that the toilet was in a seperate room.

"Everything about this place is unnecessarily huge." He retorted as he took a gander at the room making sure it was clean enough for you to be in.

"You can say that again."

You both shared a look before breaking out into laughter. Yoriichi sighed as it died down.

"I know it must look like a I'm some spoiled rotten brat, but I really wanted something more quaint and lowkey. I envy or well, envied your apartment. My dad says it's for security purposes, but I think it's way too lavish for my liking." He shoved his hand into his pockets as he leaned back against the sink.

"Envy? Me?" You inquired as you looked around, gesturing to the room. "You're joking."

"Yes, I prefer something like--" It was his turn to gesture his hands out to the room. "Less like this."

You scoffed. "Rich people problems, man."

He chuckled as he pushed off from the sink. "It can get tiresome."

"Cry me a river."

He didn't reply to snarky remark. Instead, he opened up a drawer to reveal many hair styling tools that included a blow dryer. "Blow dryer, etc."

Another drawer below. "Skincare..."

And he went on and on as he showed you where everything you needed was. You felt touched that he had prepared so much for you. It was like your own little slice of heaven.

"You good?"

You nodded as you sucked your bottom lip in. "Kinda. I think it'll take a while before I get used to anything though."

"I know. Like I said, everything will be okay." He walked to you and suddenly enveloped your body with his sturdy arms. "I'll be back in like 15 minutes. Is that okay?"

Forget about the bathroom. His scent was your solace. Because even despite kicking ass, he still managed to smell so good. It wasn't the first time you smelled him, but for some reason it was the first time you actually really paid special attention to it. It was a little smoky, yet velvetly like sandalwood and veviter. A combination of woody and spicy and it was addicting.

"Okay." You breathed, but it sounded a bit too moan-like for your liking, which in turn made you panic a little inside. You could feel Yoriichi stiffen a little as pushed back a little too quickly and he half turned so that you didn't think he was in a rush to leave, but boy was he in a rush to leave.

"Alright, uh, I'll see you then." His voice was a letting hoarse as he walked towards the door not looking at you and closed it behind him. You stood there with your mouth covered with your hand.

"Oh my God. What the hell is wrong with me?" You whisper shouted as you looked into the mirror. What was even more shocking was how you looked like total utter shit. Your hair was a fucking mess and half damp. It soaked part of your shirt and your dark circles were even deeper than you recall.

You groaned as you slapped your forehead. "How fucking embarrassing."

You shook your head as you opened one of the drawers and took out one of the brushes and began to make it look a more manageable and less messy. You finally dried your hand until it looked good enough. As you exited the bathroom and replayed how Yoriichi had left so abruptly. And with good reason!

You hadn't even meant to do that, but it slipped out and now you had to talk to him in the next ten minutes or so. You sighed as you ran a hand through your hair and took out your cellphone from your pocket. Surprisingly, you had no new notifications. You remembered that Shinobu had gone out of town with her family to Osaka and Mitsuri had a hot date with a dude who carried a snake around.

Bzz.

A snap from Mitsuri lit up your screen and you unlocked your phone to open it as you sat down onto your futon. As you tapped on the red square by Mitsuri's name, a picture of her and her snake boy toy looking extra cozy came into your view. It made you smile instantaneously. You immediately snapped her back and replied with:

『 Too freakin' cute,, hope ur enjoying ur night <3 』

You quickly sent it out and sighed as you locked your phone. There was no way you were telling anyone anything tonight and you really didn't fucking want to. Honestly, all you wanted to do was fall asleep and pretend like none of this had happened, but you knew you couldn't. Sleep was only a temporary safety blanket that feign shielded you from the dangers outside of your new penthouse.

You fell back against the mattress. How the hell were you even going to explain this? You were sure that your family wouldn't take this too well, but being that they lived in America they didn't really need to know what you were up to into Japan, right?

149 notes · View notes