#mentions of prescribed pills | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

razzle-n-dazzle · 4 months

Note

hello, friend!! i saw your adam hcs and i loveddd themmm!! i was hoping to request smth if that’s okay? could we get lucifer with a reader who also struggles with depression like he does (it’s mentioned in episode five if you didn’t know!!) and maybe reader had a practically rough week and gets home from work and just breaks down in tears, and luci find a way to cheer them up? either fem! or gn! reader if that’s chill, tysm for taking your time to consider this even if you don’t get to it!!

— 🪽anon

ᯓ★ "Give Your Corpse Some Smile Lines." Lucifer / Reader | Oneshot TW! Read at your own risk and comfortability! | talks about depression, suicidal topics/actions, overdosing topics/actions, reader breaking down, hurt to comfort, self destruction, abuse

ᯓ There are days and weeks, sometimes months and years, that prolonged like time, made it appear like it no longer moved and served a purpose. Like time was nothing but a feign idea that was made to torture everyone and anyone who dared think about it, who dared to calculate how it traveled and how long it took to pass a minute. And some days it made people want to break, and some day it made people want to kill other people, and some days it made people overjoyed, and some days it made people excited, and some days it made people nervous, and some days. . . It made you want to die.

ᯓ To be killed in the most brutal fashion known to man, to explode in a death either as silent as taking your own life in your own home or as bright and fantastic as the explosion of fire works. Time for you was never a friend and it continued to taunt you after you had died, overdosing on the pain medication you were prescribed after a horrible accident. Horrific! You had heard people call you, friends and family, after they saw the state of your decaying body after being rammed by a truck who lost control. Monstrous! None of them chose to stay around, none chose to help you when you were at your weakest and worst, when you could barely help yourself. And all you had done back then was help them! Was care for them! Be there for them at any time of the day whenever they needed, whenever they wanted, whenever they asked or called or texted or shouted or pleaded or-

ᯓ And it was a coward move, you were sure. Weak, many would call it, blasphemous and you were sure it was why you never got into Heaven despite having done everything in your power to be okay, to be the perfect person everyone wanted, to be good. But one night, when everything was moving too slow and no one seemed to blink twice at your presence, you would take your own life in silence. To overdose on your own pills, both praying it wouldn't work but gain the attention of someone yet also praying it would kill you and finally let you live in peace. In a world of black nights where you didn't have to open your eyes no longer, where time wouldn't be creeping over your shoulder, where nothing would hurt anymore because dammit. . . everything hurt.

ᯓ IT ALL FUCKING HURT.

ᯓ And then you ended in hell, and then you realized this would be your life . . . and then you realized you were still stuck with your worst enemy of all: Time. Forever stuck in an eternity after life, forever stuck here by yourself, forever being another face in the crowd or another person on the street for people to pass by and not think about twice. Someone. Just someone! Not even someone, no one. Just a shell, just a person decaying on the streets, decaying for all to see. A pitiful show.

ᯓ You could hardly remember when you met Lucifer; Maybe you were down on your luck one day and was eating cold Ramen out of the streets and he took pity to sit by you, to talk to you. Maybe it was when you were at a bar, downing another drink to forget the fact that you were chained down here, chained to your enemy, chained to your eternity of a never ending moment of the hands of time. Maybe you were working your minimum wage job to barely survive, or maybe you bumped into him. You memory hadn't always been good, party due to your own mental health and a constant flight or fight response, yet you had always knew life to be so bleak before you had met him. And then one day, everything was slightly a bit more okay. And slowly everything was a little more barrable; Even just slightly.

ᯓ And maybe a life can be handled in eternity, and you didn't have to be alone anymore . . .

ᯓ Yet, no matter how much anyone wished, love cannot fix all problems. Love can teach you how to heal, love can teach you how to live, love can teach you how to handle everything inside of you in a better manner than self destruction. But love cannot instantly fix everything wrong with you; You should have realized that sooner.

ᯓ You lived a life nothing short of a fairy tale for the last few months, living life alongside a partner who you could share the weight of the world with. Who felt comfortable enough to share the weight of the world with you. Where in the days you both laughed and played, pushing and pulling each other, peppering kissing on skin and longing ones on the lips. And at night you cuddled against each other, both with the fear of losing, both with longing, both just enjoying the company you now had, that you could now share. You've already shared tears, concerns, worries, troubles. You've both been vulnerable under the other's eyes, staining shirts under the other's careful and cradling hug, broken down and rushed out apologies. You've already both taken care of each other, took your time and held patience with each other and you both tried to heal the broken pieces of one another. Most would call it a disaster, a tragedy, yet for you both . . . it was like some sort of twisted hope, knowing you were no longer alone in your self deprecation. Knowing that even if either of you tried to self destruct everything around you, tried to gain that control that's slipping away, tried to push the other away, they would understand and be there. That in the end of the day you had someone to crawl to.

ᯓ Yet even with constant oxygen and wood, a fire can still grow dim in it's own silence and try to snuff itself out.

ᯓ This week had been long, it had dragged you by the heels and you could no longer put the energy to fight against it's slowing seconds. Working a minimum wage job, even after Lucifer had told you that you never had to again (yet you continued to do so for some sort of feeling of schedule and stability), that you hated and wished you could quite for a paycheck that wasn't even that high to withstand the abuse you had to. Lucifer constantly worried about you, about how the job affected you both physically and mentally. You often came home either drained or hurt, as costumers tended to get rather violent down in Hell. It was common to be stabbed during a shift and having to endure it until your shift was over. Effectively causing you to bleed out while still having to rep a costumer service smile. And the stabbing might not even be the worst part of everything; As you had to try many times to bite back any sort of emotion, ire and frustration and sorrow, as costumers yelled, screamed, tossed shit your way for a mistake you didn't even make. And yet it was your fault. It was always your fault and you couldn't do anything but stand there and take it, as your job would be on the line if you did anything other than stand there and take the anger and take the frustrations and the yelling and the stabbing; Being everyone's personal punching bag without any sort of composition.

ᯓ What was the point of it?

ᯓ The thought had came to you one day after you came home, slugging your shoes off your feet and tossing your keys onto the counter. Lucifer wasn't home, he usually was, yet you guessed he had something better to do than hear your sorrows of the day. You would want to do anything than hear about your sorrows as well, you couldn't blame him for trying to avoid you. So you dragged yourself to the bathroom, heavily sitting down upon the close lid of the toilet before sinking down some. A hand rested upon your stomach, the knife that pierced through your side slid in between your fingers like it didn't draw your blood out. Like it wasn't causing you pain; not even the worst pain in your life, just pain that poked and pricked and brought tears to the eyes, but you were no stranger to tears or to blood. You were no stranger to the bruises that covered your body from angry costumers, from the blisters that grew from harsher treatment, from the blood that seeped and stained. And maybe you should take care of that wound, but it was best to keep a knife into the wound than take it out; It stopped bleeding and you hadn't stained that much, you didn't think, and you were oh so tired so maybe. . .just a nap would help. It didn't have to be a long one, yet something in the back of your mind hoped it would be, and you leaned your head back against the back of the toilet. The light above gave out a buzz, showing it was working, sounding that it was on and here.

ᯓ Yet a nap sounded nice.

ᯓ "Honey! I'm home!" Lucifer shout, a cheerful laugh followed and a careful grin was stretched on his face as he tried to balance the bags of groceries that were in his arms; Trying to make his one round of bringing groceries in to work. He didn't want to drop a single one of them, "I'm sorry I took so long, yet I went to the store and wow! There were a lot of options for things that I was sure I would never make it out of there! Did you know that there's like. . ." Lucifer would pause to count his fingers, having successfully delivered the bags onto the counter without breaking anything, ". . .15 different brands of milk?! And they had like this Milk called Almond milk, where they apparently milk the almond and I don't know how they do that but-" Lucifer's voice fell flat as soon as he noticed you weren't around, at least, not around as usual. By now you would have sprung from the couch, or yelled at him from the bathroom that you were doing your business, or came from the bedroom to wrap him in a hug. Yet your presence was absent and it didn't allude Lucifer, at least, not many more. "H . . . honey?" He would call out again, this time with a more shaken voice and frowned eyebrows; His smile no longer held the confidence of a man who managed to do one round of bringing groceries in with 13 bags.

ᯓ And yet you didn't respond to his call, how could you when your own breath was so shallow your heart was speeding up, stressing, just to pump blood through your body; And Lucifer grew worried. It would triple upon seeing the mess you had left, a mess that hadn't caught his eye until now. . . Your shoes left lazily by the door, your keys stained with blood. Blood that streaked like a hand across the counter top and traveled inward, towards the bathroom and it's door that lingered tauntingly open. And instantly, Lucifer felt his mouth run dry and his feet speed towards the bathroom with nothing but horrible thoughts piling up in his head. You were hurt and you weren't answering his calls. You were hurt and you weren't doing anything to signal to him that you were okay. Are you okay? Are you dead? Oh god he hoped he didn't get to that bathroom door and see your dead body there, all stained and pale. Please don't be dead, please please please. . . "OH MY GOD!-" Lucifer hated to admit the way his body froze in horror by the doorway, one hand clinging onto the frame and the other shot up to cover his mouth. He hated the way his feet stuck to the ground like they were rooted, forcing him to look at your bleeding and barely breathing figure on the floor.

ᯓ And no, he didn't miss the way your blood was smeared on the toilet. He could never miss such a detail when your blood was the last thing he ever wanted to see seep out of your body and pool and stain everything around you.

ᯓ "Oh fuck! Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!" The words fell out of his lips, fell onto deaf ears, as he ripped his rooted feet off the ground and rushed over to you, to your body. He felt dazed, confused, unsure of himself all of a sudden. What was he supposed to do? What could he do? "Hey, don't be dead come on!-" He didn't realize he was rambling to himself as he kneeled down next to you, not minding the way your blood seeped and stained his white clothes. He shuffled around, looking for your wound, looking for something he could fix to help you! He was so panicked, and had to stich up your wounds so often, that the thought of calling a doctor didn't cross his mind. Lucifer was hesitant to touch you, but didn't want to hurt you, "Wound, wound wound! Where the fuck is your wound?!" He asked before spotting the knife that was jagging out your side. It was mostly covered by your body, as he had happened to kneel down on the opposite side of where your wound pierced in. "Oh fucking duh, it's where the knife is. Nice job Lucifer can't spot a fucking knife when your lover is bleeding out on the floor!- Shit wait I need to actually take care of that. Fuck! Where the hell is the first aid kit?!"

ᯓ To say Lucifer was freaking out during the whole process of taking out the knife, tossing it to the side to be picked up later, disinfecting your wound, trying to stitch it up with shaking hands, and wrapping you up. . . would be an understatement. He was terrified to hold you, afraid he might make the wound worse or he might put you in more pain, yet somehow managed to move you from the bathroom floor to the couch in the living room. He would have put you to bed, at least provided your body a little more comfort, yet he was afraid to leave your side. Afraid that if he took his eyes off of you that something might happen, that you might roll onto the wound and break the sticking, that you might just stop breathing as a whole and leave him alone.

ᯓ He tried calling Charlie to help, yet physicked himself out right before he was going to press the call button. He needed some sort of help, he couldn't go through this alone, yet he didn't want to put his daughter through this either. All he could really do was find himself sitting in front of the couch, head resting upon the cushion, watching your chest rise and fall with heavy eyes; Just to reassure himself you were still here, that you were still alive and you could wake up. Maybe tomorrow? Hopefully. Maybe he should bring you to a hospital. Either way he was here, waiting, hoping.

ᯓ Fuck . . . He didn't know what he would do if you didn't wake up. But you did! By some grace of god you had happened to wake up in the middle of the night, the day after Lucifer had found you. He hadn't been awake, and you were barely moving due to the pain that jabbed at your side. Though you noticed the weight that indented the couch by the edge, slightly turning your head to see Lucifer's crossed arms and nuzzled head into it; He was sleeping, leaning against the couch while sitting on the floor. Drowsy, tired, you glanced over at the couch, wondering why he was sitting down there instead of up here with you. When did you even get to the couch? And then you noticed how you were wearing some of his clothes, with the shirt pulled up to expose your wrapped chest, the bandages still a stained a little crimson red. And you frowned, eyes heavy, looking down at the wound and realizing, at least to some sort of extent, why he wasn't up here. You had scared him . . . A heavy sigh left your lips as you reached a hand out, shaking, as you leaned down into the cushions. Gently, you placed your hand on top of Lucifer's, trying to intertwin your fingers without waking him. If anything, by the way he looked, you were sure he just managed to fall asleep . . . and most likely passed out from exhaustion rather than willingly succumbing to slumber.

ᯓ Though feeling the sudden warmth on his hands, and being half-awake and half-asleep in general, Lucifer's eyes fluttered open despite being rather heavy. He felt heavy, he felt tired . . . yet his hand felt warm, causing his eyes to glance down and notice your hand on top of his. Your hand, your thumb rubbing against his. "Love?. . ." He would mumble out, hoping this wasn't a dream, as he gently raised his head. You noticed the way his eyes sagged a little, his eyelids clearly heavy with eyebags starting to form under his eyes. The frown that had been on his face, tugged down out of pain, began, sluggishly, to tug into a warm smile. "You're awake. . . how are you feeling, do you need anything?" The way his voice croaked, clearly tired and clearly worn from tired and sobbing. His disheveled look, the way his hair was more frazzled than normal and the way his clothes were stained. It all made you upset; Not at him, no, you could never be upset at Lucifer. You were upset at yourself. For causing him so much pain, for making him probably so worried and panicked with the crawling thoughts of your death if he dared to ever take his eyes off of you.

ᯓ Lucifer, waiting for your answer, would gently bring your hand up to his cheek. He had missed your warmth, you had been so cold when he touched you last to move you from the tile of the bathroom floor to the plush cushions of the couch. He was glad that the warmth had returned to body, that he was able to watch your eyes sparkle in the dim lights that flooded in from the kitchen stove hood.

ᯓ His eyes were so gentle, his smile was so genuine, and all you managed to weakly croak out was a, "I'm sorry." And you felt bad feeling the warm tears starting to clump up in your eyes again and spill over. And you felt horrible as Lucifer shot awake, seeing your tears through the light of the kitchen, and rushed to bring his free hand up to your cheek to wipe away your tears. "I'm so sorry Lucifer I. . ." You would choked out, unsure what else to say. How else could you apologize to Lucifer when you knew that you had laid there, on the toilet, with the intention to hopefully die. And you didn't know how to tell Lucifer that to his face, especially when you've never had to tell anyone who's gotten as close to you as Lucifer has that you've thought about killing yourself. That you tried to plan it out in your shared home. Where you knew they would find you. Where you knew. . . "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're-" Lucifer paused for a second, glancing down at the side of your stomach. He had to reassure himself that you were alright before trying to comfort you, "-okay. You're okay now!" Lucifer grinned towards you, a little nervous at first before it fused out into more worry. "You're awake and you're not dying and it's okay! We can. . . talk about it all later okay? Just focus on getting better."

ᯓ You both would sit there in a comfortable, slightly-comfortable, silence as Lucifer stared up at you, and you stared back down at him. His hand, after having cleared your tears, hand reached up to play with your hair, trying to coax you back to sleep. Even when you knew he needed sleep himself, with the way his heavy eyes closed for long periods of time before opening again to meet mine. "Come here. . ." You would mumble, trying to reach for Lucifer, wanting to feel his warmth against yours. He was hesitant to do so, you could tell by the way his eyebrows scrunched upward and the frown that tugged on his lips. It took a while to coax him onto the couch, where even then he gingerly laid on his side and wrapped his arms cautiously a safe place above your bandages and nuzzled his head between the crook of your neck. You were able to play with his hair this time, give him a soft peck on the forehead. A silent apology for all the pain he had to endure because of you without you there to help, without the support he had shown you countless of times without fail.

ᯓ "I. . ." Lucifer's voice warily mumbled out, ". . .thought I was going to lose you." And the way his voice cracked broke your heart into a million pieces. And the only pathetic response you could muster back to him was a soft, shaken, "I'm sorry." As tears silently began to fall down your cheeks, and you could feel the silent tears that fell from Lucifer's eyes stain your neck. "I'm. . . so, so sorry. . ." "It's okay. . ." Lucifer would hug you a little tighter, "We'll work through it together, you're not going to lose me that easily, even if-" He would pause, choking out a bit of laughter between his tears, "-you try yourself."

ᯓ Oh. . . he knew. . .

Home | Masterlist tag list | @lily-ann-b

ᯓ★ All posts/fanfictions posted under this blog is owned by @razzle-n-dazzle. Please do not steal, copy, or plagiarize the works! Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated.

377 notes · View notes

ctrlsht · 8 months

Text

Fragment of the Past 01

pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au

summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

chapter summary: As you get to know your patient, Jeon Jungkook, you begin to notice that something is wrong with him, until the day he confesses to you what really happened during the night of the incident.

chapter warnings: mention of PTSD and depression, mention of hatred towards the family, mention of murder. This chapter is the only chapter that isn’t too heavy. word count: 8K

note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders and psychology facts. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.

"Dr. Y/N, your next patient is already waiting outside. Shall I invite him in?" Soyeon asked while holding the doorknob, your office door slightly ajar. You leaned back in your swivel chair, glancing at the clock hanging beside the door. Soyeon stood patiently, awaiting your response.

“It’s still 2:30 and my next session is 3 o’clock. He arrived early?”

“Yes, he did. In fact, he already arrived at 2. Although he mentioned not informing you since it’s still early.”

You looked at the clock once again and contemplated your decision. You still have 30 minutes before the new session starts but you’re not going to do anything, anyway. Just like your next patient, you’re just waiting for the clock to strike at 3.

“Let him in. We’ll just start early.”

After a few moments, the door opened once again and a tall muscular man entered the room. His movements are slow like he has all the time in the world and when he faced you, his eyes sparkled, and he offered a subdued smile without revealing his teeth. He removed his black ball cap and extended his hand, presenting you with a box of cake.

“Good afternoon, doc. I’m sorry I’m too early from the original schedule but I got you a strawberry cake. Heard that you love them.” He said.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Thank you and it’s nice to see that you’re in a good mood, Jungkook.” You smiled and reached the box of cake that he gave you. He smiled even wider as he removed his leather jacket and you immediately saw his full sleeve tattoo on his right arm. They were beautiful. It perfectly suits him.

“Thanks, doc. I’m happy that I didn’t dream about ‘that’ nightmare and I believe it’s because of the medicine that you prescribe me. You help me a lot.” He responds, sitting on the white sofa facing your desk.

When he is settled down on the couch in front of your office table, you press the ‘record’ button of your phone. You record your session with your patient for your advantage. It helps you review and recall the discussion that you had with them, and it’s useful whenever you’re writing a book. Having the recordings allows you to convey your words more precisely.

Of course, you always ask for their consent to record the conversation. However, there are patients who do not agree with it, and in such cases, you still record them. They wouldn't know, would they?

“Well, that’s good to know.” You said and got the folder placed on the side of your table and opened it. It’s the record of him for you to easily navigate his diagnoses. “Are you still visiting the gym like I’ve recommended to you?”

“Yes I do and it helps me to distract my mind to what happened. Going back to the gym helps me a lot, honestly. It’s hard to push myself to go back at first but as I was in there, it became easier.” His smile is like a pill that can light anyone’s mood. It is so bright and contagious. No one will guess that he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He witnessed how his mother died in front of him exactly six months ago and he suffers a lot. He’s unable to talk for weeks after the incident happened and was advised to attend psychotherapy.

Right now, he has made significant progress, and you're glad about it. Throughout your sessions with him, you've observed how he copes with his trauma and understands what's going on in his mind. It's a major trauma for him to witness what happened to his mother. According to studies, women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and you've handled multiple cases with women experiencing PTSD. However, in your years in this career, he is the only man you've treated with this specific diagnosis. It's a new experience for you, especially since it's your first encounter with a male patient with this condition. You've conducted extensive research, but there are still things your patient does that contradict what you've read.

“During the weekends, I spend all night reading your book, Dr. Y/N and it helps me so much. Plus, it’s good and I love it. I can’t wait for you to release the book that you’re writing right now. When did you plan on releasing them?” He crosses his legs as he looks at you with so much adoration.

“I haven’t finished writing it so I haven’t planned the date of release.” you replied, turning your attention back to the folder in your hand. “I’m glad that my books help you. Do you think that you’ve already overcome your trauma with the event that happened?” You looked at him and the smile that he had seconds ago was gone. His lips were formed into a straight line and he stared at you. It only happens for seconds and he immediately brings his bright expression once again.

“I’m not quite sure about that, Dr. Y/N. I may be happy right now, but later on, I’ll remember the tragic event once again.” He responded.

“It’s okay. It really happens. Healing from your trauma doesn’t happen in a short period of time. But eventually, you’ll be okay. It may not be right now nor tomorrow but one day,” you assured him.

“Will you leave me after I completely heal, Doc?” he leaned forward, his gaze intense. You didn’t respond right away and waited if he’s about to add more with his statement but turns out, he’s also waiting for your response.

“Well, that’s quite the opposite, Jungkook. You’ll be the one to leave me after our final session comes to an end.” You tried to smile. “And as your doctor, I genuinely want you to heal and move on to continue living with your life.”

“Then I’m not quite sure if I’ll be happy for our final session to come to an end.”

You achieved success as a psychiatrist and book author within just four years of your career. Your excellence in your work is a result of the praises you've received from people. You've built a strong reputation and you're determined to maintain it. While you may be at the top now, you know there's still a long road ahead. You're committed to continuing to excel in what you do and to break numerous records..

The day has finally ended and you are still inside your office room as you continue on writing your ongoing book. The paradox of choice. You’ve released three books and this is going to be your fourth one. You’ve been pouring your blood, sweat and tears in every book that you’ve released resulting in its success and you’re confident that this ongoing book will be the same.

You have nothing else to do except to work 24/7. You’ve been doing this for the past four years already and you have no problem with it. In fact, you love everything you do. But there are people who’s against your life cycle.

As you type on your laptop, your phone chimes, seeing a notification from your friend, Taehyung. He's been your friend since you were in diapers.

Taehyung: You’re not at home. Where are you?

You: Clinic. Why?

Taehyung: what the. At this hour?

You didn’t respond because you figured out that he doesn’t have anything to do but to disturb you and honestly, you don’t have the time for that.

Taehyung: Join me for dinner. It’s on me.

You: Can’t you eat by yourself and you have to treat me just for you to have dinner?

Taehyung: You talked as if we’re not friends. Come on, Y/N. I know you love your job but don’t wait until you are the one who becomes a patient.

Taehyung doesn’t understand you. You’re doing what you love and you don’t have a problem with it yet he thought that you were drowning yourself with work. You can choose what you want and you choose to burn yourself from work. You don’t have any problems with it.

You decide to fix your things and get ready for Taehyung to pick you up. As much as you love your career, you also cherish your friendship with him. He's your only friend, and you don't want to lose him. You've come to consider him as family.

“My father is asking me again if I can now run the business in New York." Taehyung said as he got the pork belly from the grill and placed it in his bowl of rice before he put it together in his mouth.

“Tell him you haven't decided." You respond subconsciously while wrapping the pork in the lettuce and eat it.

“What amazing advice coming from a therapist herself.” Taehyung smirked.

"What is your decision then?"

"I don't really know, Y/N." He released a deep breath and continued. "I do want to manage it but I can't. I love what I'm doing right now."

Since his teenage years, Taehyung has been destined to inherit his father's assets, including the family company. However, Taehyung chose a different path and became a successful musician and artist. He's content with his career until his father reminds him of his obligation to take over the family's oil company in New York. He has been wrestling with this difficult situation for years and has yet to find a solution.

“Try to do both.” You suggest while having a mouthful of pork belly.

“I don’t know if you’re fucking with me or what but damn, Y/N. If you’re my therapist, I’ll immediately leave your clinic and find another one.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and you tried not to laugh. "I can't choose both and you know that!"

You do want to help your friend to get out of this situation but the only thing you can do is give emotional and moral support because you don't have control over his family. You do feel sorry for him but you can't do much.

"The conflict between personal desires and altruistic choices has been common in dealing with ethical dilemmas. Choosing a decision between what you want and what your father wants that will be beneficial for the majority is quite a difficult situation and you need to weigh them according to how you see it. Your father has been there for you and in return, he wants you to handle his business not only for the benefit of him but also for you." You pause and take a bite of kimchi before you continue. "But you wanted to keep pursuing the career you have right now. It's a personal gain. It's up to you if you become selfish or selfless."

Many researchers have presented real-life ethical dilemmas and case studies to understand how people navigate decisions that involve personal desires and the welfare of others. These studies often highlight the complexity and context-dependency of such choices which is what Taehyung is experiencing right now.

If you were to decide with his situation, you'd choose to continue with his career that he has right now. Life is too short to become selfless. What society makes people believe can result in each and everyone's failure.

If he chooses to do what his father wants, it won't guarantee success, as he has no clue about running their business. And even if he manages to muster the passion to understand how it works, he might not only fail himself but also disappoint his father.

You ended the night with Taehyung bringing you back to the clinic to get your car. It was nice catching up with him once in a while and hopefully, it won't happen often. Taehyung has known you since forever and he knows that even if you love him, you will still choose your work over him.

You were about to open the door of the driver seat of your car when you felt something. Or more of someone.

You don't hear any noise coming from afar or nearby and you're certain that you're the only one who is at the parking lot in front of the clinic but you feel like there is a pair of eyes that's watching you. You're facing the two-story building of the clinic and catch sight of anyone but the only thing you see is a light coming from the entrance and nothing else.

You slowly turn around to see the surroundings and the only thing you see is a quiet night street illustrated by a few streetlights. There is no one, yet you can still feel that pair of eyes looking at you.

You weren't sure if it's because of overworking or the alcohol you've consumed tonight but you're certain that one of it is the reason why you are having this kind of imagination.

—

“Good morning, Yunjin. You look pale today. What’s wrong?” You looked at your patient that’s seated across the sofa in front of you. Her lips were paper thin and she continuously blinked her eyes. Yunjin is a 25-year old diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and she's been your patient for a year already. Being diagnosed with depression can cause a lot of factors including imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin and norepinephrine. These imbalances can occur in anyone, regardless of their external circumstances. In Yunjin’s situation, it’s caused by her genes and hormones and most likely, she inherited from her family.

Yunjin came from a well known family and her life is what every person dreams to have. She already has everything yet she still suffers with depression.

Not because a person has a wealthy and happy life doesn’t mean they do not encounter problems.

“It’s happening again. I’ve lost track of my motivation to continue painting.” She speaks hoarsely. “Last week, I’m pouring all my hardwork and energy into what I’m working on but now, I’ve messed up. And I don’t even know why I am doing this because my work is mediocre in the first place.”

“You know that’s not true, Yunjin. Your paintings are amazing. I love them so much, especially the one you gave me.” You said carefully.

“No, you don’t understand. My works are trash compared to others.” Her voice is already trembling—on the verge of crying.

“Everyone has a unique and creative way to express their works. Not because you think that the works of others are more creative means yours are not. Your paintings are a masterpiece, Yunjin and I won’t get tired of reminding you about that.”

Yunjin is one of your patients who is incredibly transparent. She is consistently honest and open about her feelings, and you have played a significant role in nurturing this honesty. Over your years of being a psychotherapist, you’ve encountered thousands of patients with different problems and diagnosis. You’ve known the ins and outs of them and you’ve mastered the meaning of every action they’ve made and words they’ve said. You also know if they’re telling the truth or not and you can spot it within a single session.

That’s what you’re known—for being an excellent psychiatrist.

However, you’re not yet perfect and still working with your skills. You know that you’re already great but there is still room for improvement.

Not because you’re confident with how you read your patients means that it’s the truth. Sometimes, they deceive you and that’s a case that you have to improve with yourself.

It’s almost five and a few moments from now, you’ll have your last patient for the day. The truth is, you’re already exhausted with all the work you did today and given that it’s friday. Tomorrow, it’s a rest day, therefore, things should be done until today if you want to enjoy the weekend. But in your case, you’ll most probably work with the book you’re currently writing.

Jeon Jungkook is your last patient for the day and hopefully, after the session, both of you will feel relief.

“Hello, Dr. Y/N. You look so tired. Are you okay?” Jungkook asked you as he removed his bomber jacket revealing his full sleeve tattoo. He has a taste in fashion and it suits him so well. With his tall and muscular body, he can wear anything and still look stunning. Beside his body build, Jungkook is handsome. With his beautiful doe eyes and perfect smile, he can captivate anyone. And it’s something that you should be cautious about.

“I’m fine, Jungkook. You don’t have to worry about me.” You slightly smile and insist him to sit on the sofa. “Please take a seat. How are you?” You try to energize your voice to hide your exhaustion.

"Today was supposed to be great until one of my employees messed around at work. His name is Bryan, and ever since he got hired, he's been getting on my nerves. If it weren't for the fact that he's my uncle's son, I would have fired him right from the beginning," he began, settling into his seat.

“What happened?”

“He lost the memory card of the camera I used from the photoshoot yesterday and now, we had to redo the shoot.” His eyebrows scrunch as he tightens his lips.

“Your feelings are valid, Jungkook. It’s okay to feel that way. What you can do to control your emotions when you’re in that situation is to leave and take a break where you can breathe.”

“You’re right. But now, I feel okay. Relief even. I just fired him from being incompetent. Someone like him doesn’t belong in my studio, anyway.”

You take a pause to look at him. He looks at you with a blank stare and when he does that, he’s unbothered or doesn’t care. You admit that he’s not easy to read but you’ve learned to master his gesture and there is something about him that feels off.

“Can you tell me why his action results in you firing him?”

“Because he’s useless and I don’t need useless people in my team.” He responds like the answer is already obvious.

“Don’t you think that he can improve?” His gaze intensifies and after a moment, he smirks.

“My studio is not a training ground, Dr. Y/N. It’s a place where you should already master what you’re doing.” His fingers move in his lips to play with it, eyes still bore at you.

“I’ve established my business from the scratch and I’ve poured my blood sweat and tears just for my business to be in where it is now. Perhaps, I have the right to do anything that's better for my studio. I know what my worth is. Don’t you think, Dr. Y/N?”

He’s full of himself. But you didn’t say that.

“Well, you have a point, Jungkook. But you’re the one who said it. Your studio is made from scratch and perhaps, you know what being in your lowest point feels like.” You try to smile genuinely. “It’s okay to know your worth and at the same time, look back where you came from.” You looked at his medical records and proceeded. “How’s your condition? Are you still experiencing anxiety?”

“30 minutes ago. When I was traveling to get here.”

“Why? What’s running in your mind?” He wiggled his ankle and continued to play with his lips, thinking of the answer.

“I was nervous during the ride. I don’t know but sometimes, you make me feel nervous.” He let out a playful chuckle.

“Why?”

“The fact that you knew everything about me makes me feel something. You’ve known everything about me yet I don’t know a single thing about you.” You don’t understand what's his point so you try to laugh to ease the heavy feeling you feel right now.

“Of course, you knew me, Jungkook. You’ve mentioned that you knew me even before the session started.” You give him a smile and you put down the folder that you are holding right now.

"Yeah, I know you, Doc. Everyone knows you. I'm aware of everything that's public about you. What I want to know is who Dr. Y/N is without her MD and PhD. What do you do during your days off, and what are your hobbies besides helping people with their problems?" He glanced at the wall beside you, where a painting of you hangs. It's a picture of you that people can see in your books, a gift from Yunjin.

You’ve known Jeon Jungkook with his traumas and all however, you don’t know what he’s up to right now. He entered your clinic being a fragile person with his traumas and right now, it felt like you’re talking to another person. Maybe because this is him without his diagnosis.

And you don’t know how to feel about it.

—

It’s a photoshoot day for a magazine featuring you as a doctor and an author as well. It’s a media organization focusing on psychology and human behavior and you’re delighted to be featured for the upcoming magazine. You’ve already featured in some magazine but this time, it’s different because it’s ‘Psychology Today.’

You’re now on your way going to the studio with your team along with your agent, Kim. You seem to look calm and relax but deep down, nervousness is wrapping your insides. It is by far the biggest media organization where you will be featured and it’s another achievement of yours.

As you get out of your car, you weren’t surprised that the location where the photoshoot is going to be held is this enormous. It’s a four-story building located at the center of the city. You’re not sure if the media organization also owns this but as you looked at the name of the building, it looks like it isn’t.

GCF Studio

As you enter the building, you are greeted by enthusiastic guards and staff, which motivates you even more for this shoot with them. The interior is minimalist, with the entire first floor being plain white. When you walk through the glass door, the first thing you see is the reception desk. To the right, there are couches and a coffee table where people can wait, and to the left, there's a cafeteria. You walk straight ahead toward the elevator, and one of your assistants presses the button for the third floor.

As the elevator door opened, you were greeted by a hallway with various doors, clearly indicating it's a working area where the shoot takes place. You walk a few steps before entering through double doors, where you find a bustling room filled with people busy at work. It resembles a dressing room but on a larger scale, with various outfits hanging, and several vanity mirrors where people can prepare for their shoot. It's fantastic.

“Good morning Dr. Y/N. Before we proceed with the shoot, I’d like to discuss with you what look you’ll be having for today. You also have full control of what you would like to look at and we’re here to assist you.” You are greeted by a young male with full of feminine energy. He’s tall and petite wearing a white blouse and a sweater that is hanging on his shoulder. He leads the way and you smile before you follow him.

You’ve thought that this photoshoot will only take an hour of your time but you’re wrong because an hour just passed and they were still dressing you up. You didn’t feel uncomfortable because everyone is approachable and enthusiastic. They made you feel that you’re indeed their client.

After an hour and a half of preparation, you finally entered the photoshoot studio, and once again, you found many people inside. You're not entirely sure about each person's specific role here, but everyone is clearly occupied.

But the atmosphere immediately changed when the door swung open. It was chaotic seconds ago and right now, everyone is silent looking at the person who just entered.

You saw a familiar figure. His tall and muscular figure is very familiar to you. He’s wearing a black slacks and a casual long sleeve polo that’s folded up until his elbow where you can clearly see half of his tattoo while his hair is pulled back.

Jeon Jungkook is undeniably handsome and he knows it.

“What’s this chaos? I told you that once I’ve entered the studio, everything should be ready.” His voice was threatening as he spoke with authority. A side of him that you’re not surprised to see.

What surprised you is the fact that he’s inside of the studio.

What is he doing here?

Everyone works silently as if they were being oppressed in their workplace. They were enthusiastic and approachable seconds ago and it all changed when he entered inside.

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. It wasn’t obvious how you look surprised to see me here, aren’t you?” Jungkook gave you a boastful smile like he doesn’t look threatening a few moments ago.

A sign of bipolar disorder.

“Welcome to GCF Studio where there is no room for failure.”

You will be working with one of your patients and you’re not even aware of that.

Ethically, there is nothing wrong with working with your patients outside the session but you aren’t fond of that. The idea of working with your patient outside the session doesn’t suit you and particularly with the patient that is in front of you right now.

You haven’t thought of the reason why but you just don’t.

Everything is already set up, and you are now behind the backdrop while Jungkook is holding the camera, ready to capture everything. You're confident in the outcome of this shoot, but at this moment, it feels like everything is crashing down at your feet. Everyone is looking at you with high hopes for the result of this photoshoot, and you wouldn't want to ruin it.

“Smile for me, Y/N.”

—

You don’t know how you manage to end the photoshoot smoothly knowing that Jungkook is making you uncomfortable. You were mad at yourself because you don’t know why you felt that way. He isn’t doing anything but to do his job in taking a photo of you.

Now that you're home, you don't have anything to be distressed about when thinking about what happened during the shoot.

You have to admit that there is something wrong with his words and actions. There are signs that he’s becoming manipulative and a sudden change of mood. He's self-absorbed and lacks remorse for others. You’ve been thinking that there are other diagnoses with his actions and behaviors however, you cannot suddenly show up and tell what other illness he has. You still have to observe your sessions with him.

You have now freshen up and are ready to rest but you decide to visit your office to check your schedule for tomorrow and the following days. You only have one patient for tomorrow and most of your schedules are meetings. Before you log out, you glance at the folder of Jungkook in your patient list and you click it subconsciously.

Jeon Jungkook, 31-year old male who suffers from PTSD, after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.

He witnessed his mother die in front of him and aside from that, he was also shot in his left thighs twice. And it happens in the comfort of their home.

The suspect? A loan shark who’s coming for his mother.

There are a lot of questionable things that happened during the incident and one of them is how come that he always claimed to have a successful business while his mother is buried in debt? He also claimed that he doesn’t know about the debt of his mother. There are several inconsistencies in his story but the bottom line is, the loan shark surrendered and is now in maximum security prison for murdering his mother.

You transfer the recordings you made over the following days to your computer and listen to one of them, specifically the conversations you had with Jungkook.

You have 12 sessions in total with him and you have 5 more sessions left before it finally comes to an end. You don’t count the remaining number of sessions with your patient until now.

—

You love to read books during your free time, However, it most likely does not happen due to your busy schedule. But right now, you take a break from everything and decide to go on a date with yourself. You don’t normally take a break but you’re becoming busier than usual and you don’t want to risk your health because you know that there are a lot of people that need you.

You’re not a fan of going out and you prefer to stay at home and rest but getting out of your comfort zone won’t hurt you. You decided to visit your favorite cafe and do your thing there. You dislike rowdy places, that’s why you went early in the morning where people are still in the comfort of their bed.

You underestimate the morning and how you’re used to people getting up mostly before lunch yet there are people who also like you—waking up at 6 in the morning to get a morning coffee in their favorite cafe.

“Dr. Y/N! You’re here!” You lift your head to see Jeon Jungkook standing in front of you with his bright smile while holding a cup of coffee.

Among all the people you could meet here, you don't understand why it had to be him.

“Jungkook. I didn’t know you’re here.” You try to return the smile and you almost fail when he sits in front of you.

He’s wearing a casual polo shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. Unlike the last time you saw him, every strand of his hair is falling into a harmonious arrangement. It looks so soft and suits him well. He looked effortlessly handsome as usual.

“Just grab a coffee and then, I saw you.” He smiles sweetly before he gazes down at the book you’re reading. “I don’t know why I am surprised that you like reading books even for the fact that you’re an author.”

"I read when I have time," you respond. "How are you?" you add, trying to steer the conversation away from yourself.

“I’m doing amazing. I’m continuing to write in my journal like what you suggest. It does help me a lot, Dr. Y/N.” He takes a sip from his coffee as he gets comfortable in his seat. He’s not leaving any moment now.

“That’s good. Journaling really works.” You just said whatever is in your mind because you’re thinking of an excuse to leave.

“That’s right. But we’re not in the session right now, Doc. We don’t always have to talk about me.” He leans backward as he glances at your book once again. “The four agreements. I’ve read that book before. It’s good. You’re really into self-help books, aren’t you? You like to write and read about them.”

“Yes. It does help me to improve my writing. How about you? I didn’t know that you also read nonfiction books.”

“I started to read because of your books, Doc.” He looks at your eyes filled with tenderness, traced the curves of your face as if he's memorizing it.

He’s been looking at you like that lately as if he wants you to drown with the way he stares. The way he looks at you carries an underlying tone, and truthfully, that's one of the reasons why you've become uncomfortable around him.

“I’m glad that I’ve encouraged you to read books.” You answer while looking at your wrist watch hoping that he understands that you wanted to leave already.

“Your photos from the last time were amazing. Our team has already sent you the soft copy. Did you receive it?” You do but you didn’t tell him.

“I haven’t seen it but I’ll check it out later.” You looked at your wrist watch once again.

“Yeah, you should. They were amazing. You’re stunning as always.” His eyes twinkled but you didn’t notice that.

“I want to thank you and your team for working hard on this shoot. I do appreciate it so much.” you smile and look at your wrist watch for the last time. “I’m afraid that I have to leave you right now. I already have to go home.”

“That fast? We haven’t talked a lot, Doc.” He fixed you with a steadfast gaze and you were caught off-guard. You’re thinking of what to respond but you were out of words. After a few seconds, he chuckles. “I was just kidding, Doc. I know how busy you are and I understand that.”

You let out a nervous laugh. “I apologize, Jungkook. There are a lot of things that I have to do. But I’ll see you on tuesday.”

“You don’t have to apologize because I understand. Yes, I’ll see you on Tuesday, Dr. Y/N.”

—

Tuesday came and you just woke up yet you already wanted to end this day. It’s strange that you haven’t properly started your day but you already feel heavy to move forward. Yesterday was exhausting for all the work you’ve done and you didn’t get home until 10pm, however, it doesn’t justify your heavy feeling right now. You’ve experienced worse so you don’t understand why you feel this way.

As you make your way to the clinic, you receive numerous work-related calls, and you're already feeling tired from answering them. However, you have no choice but to attend to them.

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. Your first patient has already arrived. Do you want me to let him wait inside your office or here in the lobby?” The receptionist spoke on the other line.

“You can let him in. I’m almost there.” When the traffic light turns green, you already move. “Is it Mr. Park?” You asked.

“No. It’s Mr. Jeon, Doc.”

Damn. That’s why the morning feels heavy.

As you arrive inside your office, you spot Jungkook in the corner looking at the frames that are standing in the chest drawers. The air conditioner is already on–Soyeon the receptionist must have turned it on. He immediately turned his head towards you when you opened the door and greeted you with his charming smile.

“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. I thought you'd take longer to arrive because the receptionist already let me in.” He greeted and walked his way towards the sofa–where your patient normally sits.

“I was stuck in the traffic. You know, morning rush hour.” You responded as you placed your things on your office table.

Jungkook is a punctual person. He may arrive early or on time but he is never late. If you count the things that you like about him, you’re counting nothing because that’s the only thing you like about him.

“How are you?” Is the first thing you asked him when you get comfortable with your seat. You press the record button on your phone that's hidden from him.

“Bad. I met my father last night and I wish I didn’t.” He brushed his hair back and slouched on his seat.

It's the first time he mentioned his father at the beginning of a conversation because he never does unless you ask about it. From his descriptions, his father seems like a terrible person. He never fulfilled his role as a father, often creating conflicts with his mother. His family life seems chaotic, and you believe it might be one of the reasons he's become the person he is today.

“Why did you meet him?”

“He just showed up to my house without permission to talk about bullshit. My life is already at peace and he’s ruining it.” His jaw tightened.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your eyes locked into him as you try reading his mind. You know that every patient that walks into your office has different problems in life and they are sometimes hard to predict but this man in front of you is something else. There is something in him that you couldn’t understand.

“No. He’s a waste of time. He’s really… Okay, I’ll talk about him briefly. He’s a horrible person and he doesn’t deserve to be a father to me. I never got to experience the love from a father because the only thing that he gave me is hatred. He always gets drunk and gamble and he cheated with my mom multiple times. I’m not going to be surprised when I find out that I have other siblings from different mothers. He’s the worst person I’ve known.”

You find his explanation vague but you didn’t think much about it and you let him continue.

“Do you have other instances where you see the different side of your father? Something that makes him a person to you?” You asked.

“None. Even during childhood. Especially now that he only wants money from me. He and mother are very similar to each other. Maybe that’s why they end up together. They both pissed me off and even though my mother is not here anymore, I can remember her because of my shitty father.”

You were taken aback with what he just said. He never badmouthed his mother until now. When he discussed his mother, there is nothing else he said rather than how he misses her and how she’s a great mother to him.

But you didn’t say anything about it and let him elaborate what he just said.

“Do you think that your parents do the same thing?” You asked–hoping that he doesn’t suspect your question.

“Yeah. They may be doing it in different ways of being a shitty person but they are the same for being useless parents.” He puts his index finger on his lips and slowly rubs it while resting his elbow on the arm rest, looking at you with intensity.

You’re finding a word to say but you found nothing. You wanted to look away but it would indicate that he caught you off-guard.

You saw a glimpse of his demonic character for a second. His eyes that had once been warm and inviting, now bore into you with an unnerving intensity as if trying to peer into your soul.

He spoke once again and his voice took on a low, whispery, and the words that slipped from his lips sent chills down your spine.

"Maybe that's why she died. Now, I wonder when my father will be next."

—

You're standing on the side of the street embracing the subtle chill in the air as the city lights painted the night with different colors. People are walking by and snippets of hushed conversations drifted on the breeze while the flow of traffic added to the scene with vehicles weaving through the crowd.

You don’t know why Taehyung is taking so long to arrive. You’ve been waiting for him on the sidewalk for 10 minutes already when in fact, he should have been here 30 minutes ago. You’re going to come with him on his event show because he’s been annoying you for the whole week to come with him and for him to stop, you just agreed.

What pisses you off more is that he's running late, and your stomach is growling. You haven't had dinner because Taehyung assured you that he'd swing by the drive-thru to grab something for you to eat.

You're waiting for Taehyung, but someone else showed up in front of you.

“Dr. Y/N, hi!” You met Jeon Jungkook’s eyes with his bright and warm smile. He’s wearing a gray hoodie and skinny jeans that fit him perfectly. You looked in the surroundings of him if he's with someone and it seems that there’s none.

“Hello, Jungkook. You’re heading somewhere?” You gave him a warm smile that hopefully, doesn’t look like it’s forced.

“Yeah. I’m going out for dinner. I was actually in that building,” He pointed out the building behind you and it looked like a law firm office. “I already saw you when I entered there but I didn’t have the chance to greet you because I’m in a hurry and now, you’re still here.” He glances at the road and returns his eyes to you. “You’re waiting for someone?”

“Uhm, yeah. I am.” You looked at your phone to see if Taehyung had a message but there’s none.

“You’ve been here for a couple of minutes already. Are you sure that they are still going to make it here?”

“Yeah. Maybe they—

You were taken aback when your stomach started to growl and heck, it’s so loud that you want the grounds to eat you alive. You were sure that your face was burning red and you couldn’t bear to make eye-contact with him as your gaze fixed elsewhere.

You glance at him as a soft chuckle rumbles in his throat. “I already hate the person that keeps you waiting in hunger. You know what, I’d love to treat you for dinner with me and drive you to your destination afterwards. Or we can just go to a drive-thru.” If he’s someone else, maybe you will consider his offer.

“No, it’s okay Jungkook. You don’t have to do that.” You glance at your phone to pretend that someone messages you. “My friend is already on his way. You can go.”

“Your friend of yours is really something else. What kind of man is he for making you wait for so long on the street with your stomach empty?” His voice took on a sharp edge as his eyebrows knitted together.

“I’m really fine. You don’t have to think about me.” You force a smile as you bite the inside of your cheeks.

“I insist, Dr. Y/N. I really want to treat you for being there for me during my worst days. You help me a lot and I want to get you something to show my appreciation. It’s nothing big and I will be guilty if I just leave you here.”

“I really appreciate your gesture, Jungkook, but I have other plans. Maybe next time?” You smile hoping that he understands that you don’t really want to go with him.

“With the same guy that made you wait in the cold air? Oh come on, Doc. You know better.” He spoke in a pompous tone, as if he proved that Taehyung is a horrible guy.

“You can make up to me some other time. I’m really–

You haven’t finished your sentence when Taehyung’s audi arrives beside you and he instantly gets out to meet your gaze.

“Y/N! I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. The traffic is so heavy.” He didn’t notice Jungkook until he opened the passenger’s seat and slowly glanced beside you. Jungkook released a sarcastic laugh and glared at Taehyung.

“What a surprise that Kim Taehyung–a famous musician and artist let a lady wait in the cold breeze with an empty stomach. I didn’t know that you’re such a gentleman, Taehyung.” He spoke in a mocking tone as Taehyung looked at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“You wouldn’t want to know.” He arched a brow before he returned his gaze to you. “If you really insist on being with this guy, then I’ll leave you already. I just hope that he won’t completely ruin your precious night.” He said before he finally turned around and walked away–placing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. When he’s already out of sight, you turn your head to Taehyung and glare at him.

“What?” You suddenly smack his chest before you hopped in the car.

“Damn you.”

—

It didn't take long before Jungkook was back, sitting on the couch in front of you. You’ve realized that your day always feels heavy every Tuesday of the week and that is whenever you’re going to have a session with him.

You've tried to shake off the discomfort you feel when he's in front of you because you regret thinking of him differently from your other patients, but every time you try, he makes it worse.

“Are you taking your medicines I’ve prescribed you?” You scan his record file that you’re holding.

“Yeah. I consistently take them, Doc.” He responded as he smugly looked at you and before you think of negative thoughts of him, you already returned your gaze back to the folder.

“Are you still having nightmares during your sleep?” He didn’t instantly respond like he’s thinking about the question carefully.

“I do. I still do, Dr. Y/N. But it wasn’t worse, unlike what I have for the last months.”

“Then it’s a good sign. You’re now improving. Are you still thinking about the incident?” You give him a genuine smile while he slowly crosses his legs and places both of his arms on the arm rest.

“Yes, but not as frequently as before. I love my mother so much but I’ve learned to let her go and accept the fate she has. Afterall, it was her fault.” He was looking at the painting that Yunjin had given you as he answered. He doesn’t have much of a reaction but his last sentence caught your attention.

“Why do you think that it’s her fault?” You ask in your soft voice.

“You see, my mother isn’t the perfect mother and she has her mistakes and sometimes, she doesn’t learn from them. She keeps doing the same thing until she has to pay for it and that costs her life.” He responded.

“Do you want to talk about the mistakes that your mother made?” He smiled and played with his lips once again. You’ve noticed that he’s doing that if he finds something funny or there are things that he knows and you don’t.

“But we will take forever if we discuss it right now, Dr. Y/N. But if you’re really interested, we can talk about it over dinner. You promised me last time that you’ll come with me for dinner.” You mentally rolled your eyes with his statement. Here he goes again.

“Not right now. I still have a lot of things to do but we can talk about other things like how great your mother is.” You said and he laughed—as if your statement is absurd. You try to not raise your brows with his action and behavior.

“Let's not talk about that, either.”

You were doing your best to understand his actions and statements but there is something in him that you haven’t seen. Something that will answer everything

“But I will tell you how I see my mother during the incident.” He leaned forward and intertwined his fingers “When my mother is kneeling and begging for her life, I was thinking that ‘damn. It’s really happening, isn't it?’. And when the trigger was pulled, the world stopped. And after a few moments, I felt a sense of relief and before I knew it, I was shot as well.” His voice was soft and light as if he’s confessing something that he should have confessed before.

You felt a shiver down your spine as the creeping horror crawled along your arms, raising goosebumps. You held unflinching eye contact, determined to keep your composure and hide the discomfort and fear you felt.

“Where were you when your mom was being shot?” You asked as you held your breath.

This question is already asked during the investigation. ‘I’m in the living room, 10 feet away from her. When I saw her position and situation, I immediately ran towards her but it was too late because before I even reached her, she was already shot in the chest. It didn’t take 10 seconds of my life before I was shot as well’.

But you still ask him once again. Away from the detectives.

“I was there, I told you.”

“Yes, but in what position?” Your hands are already trembling.

“I was standing,” He took a deep breath before he continued. His next sentence didn’t surprise you because it was something you already expect but trying to deny it to yourself, and it terrifies you, so much that you thought that this may be your last day.

“After I was shot, I collapsed, along with the gun I was holding.”

a/n: I'm almost done with the whole series so I've decided to post the first part. I hope you'll like this new fic because I enjoy writing it! I am open for comments to further improve my works. Have a nice day everyone!

taglist: @iloverubberduckiez-blog @kingofbodyrolls @fangirl-death-rose @looneybleus @softie00

736 notes · View notes

storiesforallfandoms · 3 months

Text

i’m sorry i let you down ~ eminem

word count: 1492

request?: yes!

“Hii. I was wondering if you could do an Eminem imagine where the reader is his daughter who is going through addiction like he used to?”

description: she promised herself that things wouldn’t get bad, but when they do she has to come clean to her dad about her problem

pairing: eminem x daughter!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drug addiciton and withdrawals, some use of y/n, rpf

masterlist (one, two, three)

She promised herself things wouldn’t get bad. She knew about her dad’s addiction. She knew how bad it was. He had warned her to be careful when her doctor’s prescribed pain medication to help with post-surgery pain she was having. In fact, (Y/N) was reluctant to take the meds at all. She didn’t want to even risk getting hooked on them the same way her dad did. But, after a day of the pain being too much to bare, she caved and took the meds.

I’ll have control of this, she told herself. It won’t get bad. Once I’m healed, I’ll stop taking them.

She kept telling herself that as she got a refill after taking all of the first bottle. She convinced herself she still needed them as she went back to her doctor to ask for another prescription. Even after she healed and was given clearance to go back to her normal life, she told herself she still needed the prescriptions.

Eventually, she recognized that she had a problem, but by that point it was far too late.

(Y/N) knew she should’ve reached out for help when she realized she had a problem. Especially to her dad, who had struggled before and had already gone through detox and rehab. But she felt too ashamed to tell anyone. She didn’t want to admit that she hadn’t heeded Marshall’s warnings and started taking the pain meds anyways. She knew how he would react, and she didn’t want to let him down. She thought she could handle it on her own. She knew she had a problem, so that meant she could fix it, right?

But the withdrawal symptoms were too strong when she tried to stop. She’d shiver yet be sweating, she couldn’t keep food down, and she’d be awake all night, among other things. She broke down too easily to make the withdrawal stop, and then had to start the process all over again. It was a never ending loop.

And it probably would’ve continued endlessly, if Marshall hadn’t found her.

She was in the middle of a bad bought of withdrawals, hunched over her toilet as the contents of her lunch emptied from her stomach. Because of this, (Y/N) didn’t hear the knock at her front door, nor did she hear the door open and shut. It wasn’t until someone was kneeling down next to her that she realized anyone else was there. And to her horror, it was Marshall.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice full of fatherly concern. His eyes studied her face, slick with sweat and pale from how sick she had been.

She couldn’t lie to him. Not when he was looking at her. He’d see right through her. So, she nodded to the garbage bin next to the sink. When he looked, he saw the empty pill bottle she had flushed hours ago to stop herself from relapsing. Marshall knew immediately and sprang into action. He gave (Y/N) a wet cloth to wipe her face and told her to meet him in the car when she was ready.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked.

“You’ll be better off at rehab. They can help you through the withdrawal.”

When he left, (Y/N) allowed herself to cry.

~~~~~~

A few days in rehab proved to be much better than the weeks (Y/N) had been trying to get clean on her own. The withdrawal was still hard, but like her dad said, they helped her through it. Besides sleep still being an issue, everything else had mostly passed.

Her sisters came to visit after the second day of her being there, and her mom called almost every night, but she had yet to hear from Marshall.

“He’s not mad,” Hailie had assured her. “He’s just glad he found you when he did.”

(Y/N) didn’t believe her.

It was nearly a week later when one of the workers told (Y/N) she had a visitor. When she entered the visiting room, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Marshall had been waiting for her.

He stood, but hesitated a moment before moving to hug her. She gratefully accepted the gesture.

“You look at lot better,” he said as they sat down.

“I feel mostly better. I’m still not sleeping, but that’s it.”

“The insomnia is the worst part. It’ll take time, but eventually it’ll get better.”

(Y/N) nodded. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t look her father in the eye. She was glad he had finally come, but now he was here her shame had returned. Not only shame that she had fallen into addiction, but also the fact that Marshall had to find out the way he did.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice small.

Marshall seemed shocked. “For what?”

A lump was forming in (Y/N)’s throat. She tried to swallow it down so she could speak. “For letting you down.”

“Honey, who said you let me down?”

She let out a humorless laugh. “Please, dad. No one had to tell me. It’s kind of obvious.”

He was still looking at her in confusion.

“You told me not to take the pain meds,” she said. “You warned me and I did it anyways. I was stupid enough to think I could have a control on them, but I didn’t. I let myself fall into addiction and I let myself suffer because I was stupid and didn’t take your warnings.”

Tears were running down her cheeks. She looked away from Marshall and tried to wipe them away, but it was no use. They were falling so quickly that as soon as she wiped one away, another took it’s place.

“(Y/N), you didn’t let me down,” Marshall said. “You’re not stupid for taking the meds. I didn’t tell you not to take them, I said to be careful taking them. Doctors prescribe those types of medication for a reason, and obviously you needed them if you started taking them in the first place. The unfortunate thing is, a lot of those pain meds can become addictive and some doctors don’t seem to care about that. It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed,” (Y/N) admitted. “You’ve always told us about your problem, and I felt like if I told you about mine that...you would be disappointed in me.”

“I would never be disappointed in you for struggling. We can’t control things like that, no matter how many times I’ve told you about my addiction or how many precautions you try to take. If anything, I was disappointed that you hadn’t told me about it, but I realize now you only did that because you were scared.”

(Y/N) nodded. She had been scared. She knew her dad wouldn’t be the only one who would be upset about finding out about her addiction, but he was the one she was most worried about getting a reaction from considering his past. At the time, she couldn’t bare to think about the look on his face if she had come clean before. Now, though, she was starting to realize that the smartest decision would’ve been to tell someone long ago.

“You waited to come visit,” she said. “I thought - ”

“It was because I was mad,” he finished. “Hailie told me.”

“But thinking more clearly, it’s probably because you were waiting for me to get a little better, right? Mom said that’s why she hasn’t come yet. She was afraid to see me in the early stages of detoxing.”

“Well, there was that. I’ll be honest, the state I found you in still haunts me a little bit. But also, I don’t exactly have fond memories about being in a place like this, so coming to visit was hard.”

(Y/N) almost face palmed. Of course, that made sense. Visiting someone in rehab had to be tough on its own, but visiting after you yourself had gone through rehab had to have a whole other layer of trauma to it she was sure.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “For everything. I should’ve told you long ago about what I was going through.”

“I don’t blame you for not telling me. I’m just glad that you’re okay, and that I found you in the stages of withdrawal and not something else.”

They both stood and hugged again. (Y/N) was reluctant to let her dad go, but she knew he couldn’t stay all day. The fact that he came at all was a relief, and she was feeling better after their conversation.

“I’ll come back in a few days,” he promised her. “And I’ll visit regularly until you’re out.”

“I’d really like that,” she said. “Thank you, dad.”

“You have nothing to thank me for, sweetheart.” He pulled her in for one last hug and kissed the top of her head. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

#eminem #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #daughter!reader #imagine #one shot #request #rpf #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

227 notes · View notes

recuira · 9 months

Text

after hours

after hours : a live action buggy x fem!reader fanfiction

for some odd reason, you have no idea who he is. and he fucking loved that.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five

chapter six | drunk. drool. darkness.

her pov;

I felt like an idiot. Like a fool.

When I came downstairs the following morning, with a pounding headache nearly blinding my vision, I spotted my mother collapsed on the couch rather than in her own bed. The kitchen was surprisingly clean, as well as the dining room table. She definitely didn't tidy up after that disaster of a night, so who did?

I walked past the stairs and into the kitchen, attempting to search for any kind of medicine to hopefully soothe the aching headache I had. I sorted through a kitchen cabinet before finding a small bottle of painkillers my mother was prescribed when her illness was first diagnosed. I placed two tablets in my mouth and dipped my head underneath the sink faucet, pouring a bit of water into my mouth to swallow the pills. Stepping back, I grabbed a pot from the stove, glaring at my sleeping mother.

I dropped it on the tiled floor.

In a split second, she shot up awake, groaning. "What the hell was that?!" She spat, grabbing her head while also covering her eyes.

"Good morning," I said as I forced a smile. I placed the pot back atop of the stove. "What happened last night?"

"Why the fuck should I know?" She cursed, laying back down.

"Where'd Buggy go?"

"Home?"

I frowned. I wasn't going to get any answers from her.

I ventured back upstairs into my bedroom where I could let my eyes settle in the cold and darkness. I closed the door behind me and approached my bed but before I climbed on it, I noticed a small green blur in the corner of my vision. Turning my head, I found the small turtle stuffed animal laying on the floor.

I treated my stuffed animals like they were living. To let them touch the floor rather than my own bed would be a sin.

Why was it on the floor?

Then it hit me.

Buggy threw it there.

I sat on my bed, holding the plushie close to my person. Last night, after dinner, I stormed up to my bedroom to be alone and to calm down due to the big fight my mother and I had. Then he came into my room to console me. Then-

"Oh my god."

I couldn't believe it. I practically threw myself onto him. Then he turned me down and after that, my mind drew a blank. I recalled vague bits here and there but the most clear occurrence was that of him leaving. Did I kick him out? Or did he leave willingly?

I touched my mouth with the stuffed animal. The feeling of his lips on mine was something I couldn't forget. For such a rough and rugged man, his lips and touch were so soft. I smiled to myself before falling onto the bed, my eyes drifting to a close.

Before I thought more about all of this, I needed to get rid of this headache.

-=-

I felt so stupid. Like a clown.

As I remembered more about the event, the more my self-esteem dropped. I never, in a thousand years, would have ever imagined myself getting drunk on red wine and then throwing myself onto a man with a red, clown nose. I frowned. His nose wasn't the issue. I liked him. I really did. He was kind and thoughtful for someone who used to be a bloodthirsty pirate. He went out of his way to please me which no one has ever done before.

And how do I thank him?

By making out with him and then kicking him out after he didn't reciprocate. I invite him over for dinner then throw him out.

This is why I hated alcohol.

It made stupid people do stupid things.

I was completely embarrassed with myself- so embarrassed, in fact, that I didn't reach out to Buggy for an entire month. How could I possibly be able to face himself after such an incident? Would I not mention it? Do I shake his hand and apologize and ask him to never bring it up again? Or do I kiss him again and see if my effort will mean something to him this time?

No, I'm an idiot. I ruined such a great friendship due to a few too many glasses of cheap red wine.

I blamed my mother for this entirely- and myself, of course. But if it weren't for her selfish and conniving personality, Buggy wouldn't have been invited for dinner. He and I would still be talking. I would see him everyday like I had been.

I vowed to my mother that as soon as I made enough money, I was moving out and cutting all ties with her. She simply laughed at me.

And so, for the past month, I kept my promise and sought out to look for jobs. Nothing dirty, of course.

I landed a waitress gig at a small run-down pub that hardly housed any customers other than drunken pirates and businessmen. I've only been here a few times before and it was the same pub I met Buggy at. Ever since that night, I haven't returned until today. The owner told me that the blue-haired piratehardly inhabited this bar which I was thankful for. I still needed to properly digest everything and when I was ready to confront him, I would. I just hoped it would be soon.

I was surprised to see that he didn't reach out either.

Maybe I scared him off.

As I cleaned off one of the tables, I tried to ignore the loud yells from behind me. Surprisingly, there was a huge flood of new patrons. My boss told me there was a soccer game and that's why everyone decided to eat and drink at the same place.

I didn't mind it too much. It meant more tips.

The rest of the night went by fast and just as we neared closing, I sat by myself in a corner booth, counting the change and money I made in just a few hours. One hundred and twenty berries. I smiled to myself, recounting to see if my math was correct.

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen-

The bell above the door jangled as someone walked inside. I kept my head low and proceeded to count before I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"We're not closed yet, Y/N. Go assist that customer, please." The man pointed at a booth. "Now."

I huffed and stood up, slipping the loose change into a pocket in my apron. I grabbed the notepad and a pen and started towards the booth.

With a closed-eye smile, I greeted the patron. "Hello, what can I get for you tonight?

"Y/N?"

I opened my eyes and there he sat. "Buggy," I whispered.

I nearly cringed.

His long blue hair was tied in a loose ponytail with the same striped bandanna wrapped around his scalp. His makeup was streaking down his sweaty face. The buttons of his striped vest were misaligned with the wrong slots. His blue-painted fingernails were chipped. And the worst of it, he wrank of liquor.

He was swaying in his seat, his arms resting across the table.

"H-Haven't-" hiccup! "-seen you in a while," He smirked. "You miss me?" His words slurred and his green eyes were nearly swollen shut. I frowned at this and took a seat beside him, nudging him to the other side of the booth. He giggled and his arm lifted before slinging over my shoulder.

"What's going on?" I whispered, hoping my boss wouldn't see me.

"What? Nothing!" He murmured.

"You're shitfaced. Why?"

"I dunno'. Got bored..." Buggy hummed and smiled up at me. His fingers began to mess with my hair. "Yer' working now?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Well, I wouldn't know! I haven't seen you in years..." He pouted.

"It's been a month."

"Whatever. Get me a beer, will ya?"

I laughed. "No! You're already too far gone. I'll get you a water." I pulled myself away from him and stood up, making my way behind the counter. Pouring him a glass of water, I watched as he proceeded to hiccup, playing into the drunkard stereotype all too well. Why was he like this? I've never seen this before. Why did he drink so much? As I approached him, he reached for me. I whacked his hand away and slid the cup toward him. This time, I sat across from him.

He glared at the drink before chugging it all, some water dripping down his stubbled chin. I crossed my arms and examined him. He was a complete and utter mess. It almost disgusted me to see him in this light. Someone I respected so much was now stooping to the same level as my mother.

"Buggs, what's happening here?"

"What?" He tilted his head. "Yer' supposed to be my waitress. You haven't taken my order yet," The pirate grumbled, reaching to grab at the paper menu. He squinted his eyes as he read it. "Get me a sandwich. With... uhm, oh! Meat, cheese, and lettuce." He met my gaze and smiled widely, exposing every single tooth.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," I demanded, pointing down at the table. "Is this some ploy to get back at me?"

"W-What? Back at you?" He snickered. "Yer' cute, kiddo."

"Don't call me that."

"Cute or kiddo?"

"Both."

"What would you rather me say?" He smirked and leaned forward, gesturing his hand for me to get closer. I did, also leaning in. "Your- hehe, your tits look amazing in that top?"

I gasped and pushed him back. "Fuck you!"

"What?! Which would you rather me call you?" He pursed his red-stained lips together.

"By my fucking name, you idiot."

"Okay! Y/N," He started, letting out a soft burp. "Where's my sandwich?"

"You'll get it once you start talking."

"I've been talking! I can't win with you." His eyes rolled. "Women."

I hit him atop of the head this time and he yelped, immediately shrinking down as his arms hovered over his head.

"You're the one who kicked me out! Why are you still acting so mad... I'd think you'd be happy to see me again, but- but, I was wrong..."

"I am happy to see you but-"

"You are? Really?" The look on the clown's face broke my heart. He was so surprised, so shocked to find out that I missed his company. “I-I’m glad.” His head dropped for a moment and he looked down at his lap. “I’ve been, uh, g-going through a lot.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.” He let out a loud hiccup then clutched his throat. “That one hurt.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

His broad shoulders shrugged back. “Maybe I will. I just need something- uh, something to eat.”

Getting something in his stomach might help him sober up fast but my mom always told me that the only way to sober up was through time. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

“Now?”

“Yes, right now.”

I got up from the table and began to walk toward the kitchen but a floating hand grabbed at my wrist. It gave my arm a tight tug before I looked back at Buggy. I raised an eyebrow but he just gave me a toothy grin then let go. Venturing into the kitchen, I let the chef know that it was the last meal of the night. He was reluctant because it meant he needed to put out his cigarette but he gave me a firm nod and told me to wait a couple of minutes. I agreed with him then went to peek on the blue-haired clown. He rested his head on his hands, his eyes closed. His long eyelashes casted a dim shadow over his eyelids. His lips parted, a small drop of drool running down his chin. Was he asleep?

Before I could admire him any further, the chef tapped on my shoulder and handed me the tray of food. A sandwich sat upon the plate with potato salad to the right of it. I thanked him and brought the meal to Buggy. I set it in front of him then took a seat.

“Buggy?” I nudged his shoulder. “Your food is here.”

“I’m not hungry.”

What? “What? You just said you were.”

“I lied. I want to go home.”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Because the other bar kicked me out ‘cause I had too much to drink,” He mumbled into his arm. “I wanted to drink more but then I- I saw you. So I wanted to stop.”

“You stopped drinking because of me?”

“I was drinking because of you.”

I furrowed my eyebrows together. What was he babbling about now? Before I could protest, he reached forward, grabbing half of the sandwich with a severed hand. He raised his head and took a bite. He chewed for a few seconds then swallowed. He ate the half then slid me the plate. So much for not being hungry.

I smiled to myself and started to eat, taking the last sip of the glass of water I had brought to him. I finished eating then wiped my mouth with a napkin.

Taking a few bills out of my pocket, I placed it on the table to cover the meal.

But then it hit me.

I could pay him back.

“Buggy, I have great news,” I exclaimed with a wide grin and pulled the loose change out of the apron pocket, the various coins rocking against the table before falling flat. The pirate sat up, a yawn escaping his mouth.

“What?”

“I can pay you back now! I have more than enough!”

“I don’t want you to,” He whispered, sliding it toward me. “I have more than enough. You’re the one who needs it, not me.”

“But you said I could pay you back. That was our deal.”

“Y/N-“

“Take the money, Buggy. Please.”

His green eyes met mine for a split second before he reluctantly gave in. He swiped the money toward him and folded the bills before hiding them away in his pocket. I smiled at him, taking the change he didn’t want to keep.

I looked at him, staying quiet. Was he already sobering up? He was talking normally now; he was hardly slurring his speech. “Can I walk you home?”

He cocked a grin. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Please?”

“Yeah, sure. Alright.”

I clocked out of work and helped Buggy out of his seat. On the walk back to his abode, Buggy leaned against me. My arm wrapped around his shoulders as I guided him down the street. He stumbled with each step and if it weren't for me, I was sure he would've fallen. The man relied on me heavily.

The front door opened with a loud bang. A wave of cold air brushed over me and I shivered. The pirate buried his face into my neck. A red blush washed over my face before I helped him onto his bed. He giggled to himself and extended his foot. I raised an eyebrow.

"Take my shoes off, please." He whispered, his body falling back to lay flat on the bed with his leg still straight out.

I knelt down and slipped each of his boots off. I set them to the left of the nightstand. Standing up, I closed the front door and dropped my backpack beside it. I approached the man and took a seat upon the edge of the bed, turning to look down at him. His eyes were closed. "Buggy, I'm gonna get going now. We can talk tomorrow, okay? When you're sober," I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. “Do you need anything before I go?” I was met with silence. I let out a small huff, my hand resting on his leg. I caressed it. I then pulled my hand away but before I could stand up, his hand took my wrist and he gripped it, tightly. I looked back at him. He was now sitting upward.

"Please, no. Please stay the night," He begged, lunging forward. His head fell into my lap and his arms wrapped around my waist. "Don't leave again. Please."

I froze. My eyes grew wide, my arms levitating above the man.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I nodded my head even though he couldn't see me. "Okay, okay." I dropped my hands to rest on his back, tenderly stroking the fabric of his vest. He let out a satisfied hum and remained completely silent. While it wasn't the most comfortable position, I stayed still because it was cozy for him.

I've never seen him in this mood before. I thought alcohol would make him an angry man, maybe rather devious or feisty, but no. It made him sad. It made him vulnerable. Alcohol took his rough exterior and melted it away, revealing a soft side I've never seen before.

His face nuzzled into my thigh.

I listened to his light breathing and brought my hands up to run through his thick blue hair. I was surprised his hair was so long. It was nice, though. It was silky smooth as well.

"Y/N," Buggy whispered into my leg.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for disappointing you."

A frown stayed on my face. I felt my eyes and nose sting. "What?"

"I've done nothing but trouble you. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I would be this much of a burden in your life. I thought I could help but-"

"What are you going on about?"

His head raised and revealed a soaking wet face. A stream of tears ran down his face, his makeup smearing even more than before. I gasped. He sniffled and grimaced. "I look so stupid, don't I?"

"You don't, Buggers. I'm just trying to figure out why you're crying," I whispered, raising my head to cup his cheek. He leaned into my palm and gave me a small, sincere smile. This was hurting my heart.

"We haven't spoken in a month."

"I know, I know. It's my fault, I-"

"Did you just not want to see me anymore?"

I instantly shook my head. "No, no, no. That's not it at all." I wiped a few tears away with my thumb.

"I thought I fucked up so badly," He started, taking a deep breath. "When you came onto me like that, I felt time stop. Literally nothing else mattered to me in that moment other than you. I didn't even fucking care if my heart stopped beating. If being with you was my last moment alive, I'd die a happy man." I sucked in my lower lip, my eyes burning more. "But it felt wrong. You were drunk, p-probably for the first time in your life. I didn't want to take advantage of that. You weren't thinking straight at all. I-I didn't want you to-to regret it the next morning."

"Buggy-"

"You have no idea- no fucking idea how badly I've wanted that. Since the very moment I've laid my eyes on you, I realized there was nothing more I could ever want. You're perfect. A literal angel." I wanted to tell him he was wrong but he continued to speak, making my heart both ache and jump. "My life was so dark before you. I was blinded by greed and-and hatred. I was a cruel man. But seeing you smile, I forget what for, but your smile erupted something in me. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything else in life other than you. I did some fucked up shit and I feel like you have a right to know." He swallowed then turned his head, facing away from me.

"What do you mean?" Those words scared me.

"Look in the nightstand. There's a book, I think it's the second one. Open it and see for yourself." He sat up and pulled away from me, wiping his nose and eyes. "No more lies or secrets. I want to be completely open and honest with you about everything. If our friendship continues, then I want honesty. You deserve that."

"You're scaring me, Buggy," I murmured and leaned forward, reaching for the drawer. I yanked it open and sorted through the stack of novels. I grabbed the second one and set it in my lap. "Can I just say-"

"No, please look. I need your opinion on me after you see this."

I was horrified.

What was so revolting in this book that he felt the need to hide?

I looked at him, frowning, before dropping my head. I admired the cover of the novel before peeling it open. My eyes widened.

"Read it out loud," The man instructed as he toyed with his bottom lip. He stared at me, not even seeming to blink.

My thumb dragged over the paper to smooth out the crumpled words. “She has the kindest smile. Her generosity is beyond that of anyone I know. She makes me believe in the good of humanity again." I repeated as I read the sentences scattered on the small note of paper. I smiled to myself. "Did you write-"

"Read the next one."

"I've never wanted something so badly in my life. To say I yearned for her would be a complete understatement. I longed for her, I yearned, I desired- In simple terms, I wanted her. I mean, how could I not? She was an angel. She was a siren. I would purposely listen to her enchanting song, allowing my boat to crash, just if it meant I could be graced by her presence, by her beauty. I was obsessed with her. If she found out my thoughts, my desires, she would never let herself be seen with me. I wouldn't blame her, though. I was obsessive. It was unhealthy, I knew that. But I didn't care. I wouldn't say I loved her because I didn't know what that felt like. I've never experienced it. But perhaps I did love her. I didn't know, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that she was the only treasure I wanted. Not the One Piece, no. Not even that could match up to her alluring person. If I had to travel every sea in order to find her, battle every sea snake in order to touch her, I would. I would in a heartbeat." I felt my lower lip quiver as salty tears began to cloud my vision. I used my free hand to rub my eyes before I continued. "A-And she caused me to see the world in color. Everything was so bland and dry but the second I saw her, I could see the blue in the sky and the pink petals of cherry blossoms. I could see the light at the end of a tunnel. If I was drowning, I know she would be able to rescue me just from her words of encouragement."

"Do you get it now?" He asked, placing his hand on my knee.

"You like me?" I asked, hesitant.

"What? Really?" He said with a weak laugh. "Of course I do. But I've known you for so long, Y/N. Much longer than you knowing me. I've followed you before, s-stalked you."

I gasped. Oh. I didn't get that from the writings. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did. I've been scheming for months. Trying to figure out how to talk to you o-or get you to say hello to me. Then at the bar-"

"I said hello to you. Were you there because of me?"

"Yeah, it wasn't mere coincidence."

"Woah," I said in awe, my facial expression or tone of voice hiding how I was truly feeling. "That's- wow."

"If you want to leave, I understand. It's a lot, I know. But I promise I've never properly stalk- well, I-I don't know. I just saw you and I knew I needed to know you. I needed you in my life."

"When did you first see me?"

"A fish market. You were giving a kitten some of the scraps."

"I don't even remember that," I admitted with a light chuckle.

"I'm not a creeper pervert or anything, I swear. I've-"

"Buggy, stop panicking. I'm flattered, if anything. I don't hate you. I don't think differently of you either."

He leaned into me, his red nose touching the tip of my own. He wore a wide smile on his face. "Really?" I nodded my head and rested my hand atop of his.

"It's a lot to take in but I'm not creeped out. I just- I had no idea."

"There's a reason I still have a bounty,” He remarked.

I laughed softly. "Very true."

"Do you understand why I was so worried? I thought all of that progress was wasted. I did want to, I really did. God, I wanted to, but-" The man continued to ramble on before I pressed my palm to his red-painted mouth. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm glad you didn't stay. Genuinely, I would have regretted it. Not because of you, but because I would want to remember a moment like that. I never want to drink again so I can be fully aware of everything we do together," I said as I removed my hand. "I didn't contact you because I was embarrassed with myself. I felt like an idiot. I thought I completely ruined everything. I also wanted to properly deal with my emotions. I wanted to figure out what I felt."

"And what do you feel?"

"The same as you do, though maybe not as extreme."

The pirate cracked a cheeky grin and nudged me.

"But I don't want to rush anything, please. If we do decide to do anything," I cleared my throat. "I want to take things slow. I moved too fast that night and look what happened."

"No, no, yeah. I feel the same way. No rush."

"Do we have a deal?" I extended my hand.

"A deal for what?"

"To do this but take things slow."

"To do what?"

"Buggy, you know what I mean."

"I want to hear you say it."

I huffed and pulled my hand back before he quickly grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. "We can go further with our relationship. How is that?" I smiled.

"Hmm, what do you mean? I'm a little slow, you'll need to spell it-" I kissed him for a split second then pulled back. The expression on his face was priceless. "That's pretty self-explanatory,” He hummed, grinning.

"Good."

"Can I do it again, though?" His hand reached to cup my chin.

"Once," I whispered.

Buggy closed the gap, tilting his head to be able to kiss me properly. It was short but sweet. When he pulled away, he fell against me, his forehead resting on my shoulder. My arms enwrapped his figure and I pulled him close. "Are you tired?" I asked, playing with his ponytail.

"Mhm," He responded, a soft yawn parting from his lips. "You're still staying the night, right?"

"Yeah, I am."

The blue-haired man pulled away from me and swept his legs over the side of the bed "I'll sleep on the floor, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

I grabbed his arm. "Nonsense, it's okay. I get the left side, though."

Buggy grinned, nodding his head. "Yes, ma'am."

I peeled my shoes off, setting them next to his as he began to unfold the sheets. He pulled the blankets back and climbed underneath them. I crawled beside, pushing my legs under the thin blankets. Turning to face Buggy, I tucked my arm under the pillow.

"I'm sorry for being like this, by the way. For being drunk."

"It's okay, just try to stop. If it's okay."

"It is," He whispered while stretching his arm out, slyly letting it sling over my waist. I smirked.

"You were kind of funny, though."

"How so?"

"Slurring your words, repeating yourself, tripping everywhere."

"What can I say? They don't call me a clown for nothing."

"I think the nose and makeup gave you that reputation."

"Nose?" He cocked an eyebrow upward.

"D-Did I say nose? I meant, uh, your hair!"

"Mhm, sure." Buggy tugged me toward him, my face coming into contact with his chest. He let out a groan as he made himself comfortable. "I hope this isn't moving too fast. I'm cold."

"No, this is perfect," I replied with a sheepish smile.

My eyes closed and I shrugged my shoulders back while exhaling a sigh. I was cold but the warmth of his body soothed my goosebumps. I rested my forehead against his abdomen and felt myself beginning to drift off. His chin plopped upon my head and his hand combed through my hair.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" He whispered, his voice raspy as exhaustion took over.

"We'll figure that out when tomorrow arrives. For now, I need sleep."

"Do you work tomorrow?"

I shook my head, whispering a simple 'no'.

"Sorry, I'll let you sleep."

I smirked to myself and tucked myself closer into him.

"Sweet dreams, Y/N," He mumbled as he kissed atop my head.

With those words and the sound of his heartbeat and breathing, I found myself falling asleep. I ignored the stench of alcohol coming from his person and focused on everything else I enjoyed about him.

In one last resort to get comfortable, I turned over, pressing my back against his front. My legs entangled with his and his arm slipped underneath my own. He held my hand.

The last thing I remember was him placing a kiss on the back of my head and then I fell unconscious.

#buggy x reader #buggy smut #buggy #x reader #op buggy #one piece live action #captain buggy #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy the genius jester #opla buggy #one piece buggy #buggy opla

547 notes · View notes

dottores · 2 years

Text

WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE | HAITANI BROTHERS

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: being part of a stepfamily was difficult, but not for the reasons you had initially thought. the issues rose not in your stepmother, but in your new brothers instead.

warnings: fem!reader, dom!ran, mean!ran, dom!rindou, sub!reader, inexperienced!reader, stepcest, face fucking, ran’s a bit creepy at first ngl, corruption/kind of predator vs prey, kind of manipulative!ran, accidental noncon voyeurism, mentioned/taken prescribed sleeping pills, age gap (21/22 -> 30/31), humiliation, degradation, edging/orgasm denial, fingering, ran has an absolutely filthy mouth, pet names (doll, good girl, princess but only mockingly), dumbification, ran calls rindou a “sister-fucker” mockingly also brings up the fact that they’re siblings several times to taunt reader and rindou

wordcount: ... 16k don't let it flop :') pls

Notes: for tee’s stepcest collab and eris and abby's corruption collab @hanmas @kxeyas @munsonsins

“Mom got a new husband,” Ran announced as he walked into the vast lounge on the top floor of Bonten’s headquarters, stuffing his phone into the back pocket of his slacks and circling his glass, watching as the amber liquid sloshed to the top before settling back down. His feet dragged against the wood as he made his way toward where Rindou was reclined back on one of the dark couches, one arm thrown over the back as he tilted his head toward Ran, clicking his tongue sharply.

“Again?” Rindou asked, lips turned down and brows furrowed, just as displeased as Ran expected he would be. Rindou rolled his eyes when Ran nodded, downing the rest of his glass of whiskey before leaning forward and pouring himself another. “This is her third this year. You’d think she’d get sick of having to find a new wedding dress every couple months.”

Ran snorted, leaning against the wall next to the couch, taking a sip of his own drink, “I think that’s her favorite part,” he noted, sparing one last glance toward his younger brother as he laid back against the couch again, feet propped on the ebony table in front of the couch as he scrolled through his phone, lighting up another joint, unbothered by the news.

Ran drew his gaze from his brother toward the floor-to-ceiling windows looking over Roppongi. The sun was setting already, the building casting an eerie shadow over the streets, the cars were beginning to thin out on the busy roads as people returned to their homes after work for dinner. His thoughts ran amok as he considered his mother’s words, trying to figure out the best way of conveying them to Rindou before he finally decided to just come out with it.

“Mom wants us to meet him,” Ran said simply, ignoring how Rindou choked over the smoke he had inhaled, head snapping to the side to look at Ran. Ran only stared ahead, eyes following a plane headed west from the city.

“Meet him?” Rindou demanded, tone laced with disbelief, “She’s never made us meet any of them before. She’s run through like twelve different guys and never asked us to come meet them.”

Ran shrugged, head dropping to the side to meet Rindou’s wide-eyed gaze, “She says she really likes him, thinks we’ll get along.”

Rindou snorted loudly, “I doubt that,” he said but Ran could see from the way that Rindou’s jaw was tight and his nostrils were flared that he was unhappy with the sudden turn of events and Ran couldn’t say he blamed him. They did not have good experiences with the men that their mother brought into their lives--from their biological father right up until the last man that their mother had forced them to meet when they were in their early twenties.

Rindou let out a frustrated noise, inhaling another puff of smoke before tilting his head back and exhaling, letting his eyes slide shut, “When’s she want us to meet him?”

Ran bit down on his tongue for a moment, letting out a soft breath. “Now,” he said. Rindou’s eyes shot back open.

“You’re fuckin’ with me,” Rindou said unhappily but Ran only gave him a wry smile.

“I wish,” he said dryly, “She was insistent about it too. Says we haven’t even come to visit her in two months, the least we could do is come now.”

Rindou rolled his eyes so hard that Ran swore it must have hurt, “How mad will she be if we don’t show?” he muttered.

“On a scale of Fiji to Oslo?” Ran asked, tilting his head to rest against the wall. He noticed Rindou nod from the corner of his eye, “Definitely leaning Oslo. She already sounded pissed.”

“Fuckin’ bullshit,” Rindou put his glass back down onto the table, rising to his feet, looking back at Ran, “You’re driving.”

“And you’re changing,” Ran muttered, eyeing the bloodstained white button-up Rindou was wearing, “Go change out of that. I’ll go start up the car.”

---

There was a car in the driveway, your fingers twitched at your sides as you stood from your vanity, trying to get a better look out the window. You couldn’t tell who had shown up at the house--whoever it was must have come into the house while you were still getting dressed and drying your hair after your shower.

You took in a shaky breath, eyes darting down to your phone. There were no new messages from your father or your new step-mother telling you who had stopped by and you bit your bottom lip, glancing at the glass of water sat atop your nightstand.

You had to go to the kitchen to get your sleeping pills, your father didn’t let you keep them in your room--they were in the kitchen cabinet, past the sitting room, and if there really were guests over, you had no doubt that that’s exactly where they’d all be.

Anxiety ate at your stomach, your gaze flicked to the clock. It was getting late already and you had to be up for classes the next morning. You wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night if you didn’t take your pills, and if you took your pills any later, you’d sleep through your alarms.

You briefly shut your eyes, letting out a long exhale as you made your decision.

Fuck.

You grimaced as you stepped into your slippers, tugging down your silk shorts as you left your bedroom, arms wrapped around your torso. The halls were long and decorated with old, expensive paintings and antiques, the lights above were dim and flickering as a storm rattled the windows.

Mrs. Haitani was old money—your father was wealthy, yes, but the more you hung around with your new step-mother, the more you realized how vastly different her lifestyle was compared to the one you were used to. From spending habits right down to the way she talked and dressed, sometimes you genuinely believed Mrs. Haitani was from another world altogether despite technically being in similar class brackets.

And she was nice, you supposed, if not a bit pretentious. She doted on you like she would her own daughter, bringing you out to brunches, out shopping, gossiping with you over boys at your university.

She had always wanted a daughter, she would tell you but her first husband passed away before they could try again, and by the time she finally started dating around again, she was too old to have any more kids no matter how hard she tried.

She was older than your father—by a good twenty years, even if she didn’t look it—when he had first told you about her, you had been unhappy because it felt like he was trying to replace your mother. But you supposed that of all the women that your father could have remarried, Mrs. Haitani certainly wasn’t the worst pick.

You turned down another hallway. In the distance, you could hear voices talking—your father, Mrs. Haitani, and two unfamiliar male voices. You let out a shaky exhale, arms tightening around your torso.

In and out, walk through the room to the kitchen, get your pills, and leave.

You stepped into the large sitting room and immediately four gazes were on you. You felt sick, you had never been good with people, especially new people.

Mrs. Haitani smiled bright when she saw you, leaning against your father, curled up at his side. She called your name happily, “C’mere,” she said, “I want you to meet my sons.”

Your mouth was dry as your gaze flickered over to the two men sitting in one of the sofas—sharp lavender eyes, dark button-ups and slacks, sleeves rolled up above the forearms revealing matching tattoos on opposite sides.

The one with longer hair looked distinctly unimpressed, lounged back into the red cushions as he took one short look at you before returning to conversation with your father. The shorter-haired one, on the other hand, leaned forward, a sort of interest sparking in his eyes that had your hair on end.

“Haitani Ran,” he greeted smoothly, a warm smile tugging at his lips that would have lulled you into a sense of security had you not caught the calculating look in his eyes a second prior. He held his hand out to you and you hesitated before placing your hand in his, the cool metal of his rings sending a shiver down your spine. You prayed he didn’t notice how your fingers were trembling. From the way his smile widened and his grip on your hand tightened firmly, you knew your prayers went unanswered.

You swallowed thickly as you introduced yourself, pulling your hand away and letting it drop back at your side. Ran’s eyes glittered in amusement, teeth gleaming under the light of the room as he glanced at the longer-haired man, “Rindou, don’t be rude.”

Rindou rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and back to look at you again. You caught sight of the tattoo decorating his throat, a simple hanafuda design, “Rindou,” he introduced, eyeing you briefly from the corner of his eye as he turned back to your father.

Ran clicked his tongue in annoyance, eyes flashing cold for just a moment as looked down at Rindou before returning his attention to you. Your head tilted to the side in curiosity when you noticed that Ran had a matching tattoo on his throat.

“Why don’t you sit with us for a bit?” your father said, motioning to the armchair next to where he and Mrs. Haitani were sitting. “You guys should get to know each other, you’re family now, you know?”

The words didn’t not sit right with you. An uncomfortable feeling spreading throughout your chest at your father’s words, glancing back at Rindou and Ran once before shaking your head.

“No, dad,” you said quietly, “I only came down to get my pills. I have class in the morning.”

Your father opened his mouth to protest but before he could say anything, you turned your attention back toward Haitani Ran and Haitani Rindou. Rindou met your eyes for half a second before looking down at his phone while Ran kept his eyes on you. You shifted uncomfortably beneath his sharp gaze, “Nice meeting you,” you said half-heartedly, not entirely meaning it.

Rindou didn’t respond, Ran’s lips ticked up into a small, sly smile--one that you liked even less than the warm, artificial one. “Nice to meet you too,” he murmured.

You forced your gaze off him, a strange and unwelcome feeling stirring in you before you bid goodnight to your father and Mrs. Haitani, disappearing down into the kitchen, intent on grabbing your pills, returning to your room and going to sleep. You had a big day of presentations for your government class tomorrow, and the last thing you needed was for this to rattle you after you had been prepping all day.

It wasn’t like they’d be around often anyway, this was the first time you’d heard of them except for the pictures Mrs. Haitani had set up around the house from when they were younger. You were sure that they’d disappear again after tonight, so it was best to just push them from your mind.

Right?

---

“You’re a fuckin’ creep, y’know that?”

Ran raised his eyebrows, not even bothering to turn toward Rindou as he heard his brother approach from behind, eyes trained on you instead, watching as you shifted beneath your sheets, dead to the world.

“How you gonna explain this if she wakes up, hm?” Rindou continued, and Ran only rolled his eyes.

He turned his head over his shoulder from where he was leaning against the doorframe of your room, shooting his brother an annoyed, lazy look. With two fingers, he lifted the bottle of pills he had found in the kitchen cabinet prescribed to your name before flicking it over to Rindou. Rindou caught it easily, frowning as he read the prescription before scoffing, tossing it right back to Ran.

“She won’t be up for a while,” Ran grinned at Rindou before turning his attention back toward you, eyes lidded as he considered your sleeping form.

“I don’t get it,” Rindou shook his head, standing half-behind Ran as he eyed you for a moment before turning his attention back to Ran, waiting for him to explain. Ran ignored him. “Hello?” Rindou demanded, “I’m talking to you.”

“Yes, I know,” Ran said dryly, “I am ignoring you.”

Rindou gaped, face twisting in annoyance but Ran tuned him out as he spit a volley of irritated curses at Ran. Though Ran supposed he wasn’t ignoring him to be annoying, he didn’t really know the answer to his implied question. He wasn’t sure what it was about you that was drawing him in.

And it wasn’t like this happened often with Ran. If anything, it was always the opposite. Women were drawn to him and he took advantage of it--whether it was for trying to subtly gather information for Bonten or just for an easy fuck, Ran was never the one that was captivated by someone but…

He let out a breath, tilting his head to the side as he watched you shift in bed again, soft puffs of air escaping your lips, covers half-thrown off, strewn across the bed haphazardly. He could see your chest rising and falling with every breath in and out, the way your button-up pajamas had come half-undone in your sleep.

Sister, you were technically their sister now, weren’t you? he considered, unable to draw his eyes from you. Maybe that was why he couldn’t seem to get his mind off of you. Throughout all of their mother’s marriages, they never had a step-sibling before. It had always just been him and Rindou.

But even as the thought crossed through his mind, he knew it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t just interest because of the fact your father had married his mother. It was something else--but what?

Maybe it was your innocence? he thought as his eyes searched your sleeping form for an answer. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, eyes darkening. He supposed there was just something about the way you came down your hall in silk pajamas, arms wrapped nervously around your stomach, eyes darting around like a cornered animal, that had his blood running hot.

You were younger than them--your father had mentioned that you were still in college, and his mother had implied that your father had kept you rather sheltered. Ran had not a single doubt about that, your eyes were still wide and bright, unlike most of the other women that Ran usually encountered around the clubs in Roppongi, who became jaded and empty-eyed over the years. It had been a long time since he’d come across someone who hasn’t been made dull and apathetic by the realities of the world and…

And Ran wanted to fucking ruin you.

“Don’t fuck this up for mom,” Rindou said sharply as if he could read Ran’s mind. Maybe he could, Ran considered as he forced his gaze from you back to him, frowning. “Don’t look at me like that, you saw her with the new guy. She really seems to like him. Don’t be fuckin’ gross and try to fuck with his daughter.”

“She always seems to like the new guys at first,” Ran dismissed and Rindou let out a frustrated breath at Ran’s blatant way of ignoring Rindou’s main point. “She’s pretty.”

It was an innocuous comment--a lot tamer than anything else Ran could have said watching your shirt ride up your stomach--but Rindou’s lips still twisted in disgust, “You’re disgusting,” he said, “Mom married her father, she’s technically our fuckin’ sister, Ran, c’mon.”

“Not by blood,” Ran grinned, winking at Rindou, who only looked even more disgusted at Ran’s words, “You’re gonna switch up,” Ran said firmly, ignoring how Rindou let out a ‘yeah, sure’, “and when you do, ‘m not gonna let you hear the end of it.”

“Fuck off,” Rindou said half-heartedly. “I’m going back to bed. Stop fucking staring at her, it’s creepy.”

“Whatever,” Ran said, waving his hand, sparing you one last look as you let out a soft hum in your sleep. His mouth went dry when he noticed that your blankets had slipped off your leg, revealing your skin all the way up to your thighs.

“Ran,” Rindou said sharply, and Ran rolled his eyes, finally ripping his eyes off of you to quietly shut the door behind him, “Don’t.”

Ran only smiled, “Relax,” he murmured, mind already whirring as plans bounced around his head, “I wouldn’t do anything she doesn’t want.”

---

You let out a frustrated breath as you looked down at the wires in your hand and then back up at the television, unable to figure out which cord you had plugged in wrong. You were exhausted, and your body was sore from working out, and you just wanted to lay down on the couch and binge the latest season of your favorite show. Why your father had decided to unplug the television before leaving for work was a mystery to you, you had heard him complaining about the picture being more static than usual and calling an electrician over to look at it after having fiddled with it for an hour and giving up.

He could have at least put it back the way it was before he fucked around with it, you thought to yourself. But knowing your father, he didn’t know how to put it back the way he had found it.

You grit your teeth as you looked between the wires and television again, going in for the fifth attempt. As you fiddled with the wires, you heard the shower water turn off in the distance. You frowned, instantly shooting a suspicious look in the direction of the bathroom.

The brothers had been around more often since the night they had shown up a few days ago—Ran, in particular. You didn’t know why—they had claimed to their mother that it was because they hadn’t seen her too often over the past year but you had a feeling that the excuse was not the real reason.

The number of times you had come home to Rindou smoking a joint by the pool or Ran wandering around shirtless after a shower, tattoos broad on display, was ridiculous, really. You hated how nervous the two of them made you, you hated how Rindou would barely spare you a glance even when you tried to say hi to him, and you hated how Ran was so touchy with you and you hated even more the part of you that couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

They had you on edge—both of them did, albeit for different reasons.

“Need help?” your eyes widened as you turned your head to the side, eyes catching sight of Ran leaning up against the wall next to the fireplace, towel hanging low on his waist and another towel draped around his shoulders. Your mouth was dry as your gaze darted down, just as it always did whenever you caught him walking around shirtless, dipping down and tracing his tattoos right to his v-line before you went hot, realizing what you were doing and looking back up. He raised his eyebrows, the smirk on his face very telling of the fact he knew exactly what you were looking at.

Your face heated up in humiliation, you tried to remember what he had asked.

Help, he had asked if you needed help.

Your eyes darted between him and the television that you just couldn’t seem to hook up correctly--you wondered how long he had been standing there watching you struggle with it before he finally spoke up. You weren’t sure how long you had been lost in thought. Silently, you cursed your father yet again for unplugging it before he left for work.

You didn’t want to ask him for help, there was something about Mrs. Haitani’s older son that really, really rubbed you the wrong way. He was always nice to you, too nice, even, and it should be putting you at ease…

But…

Your eyes met his lavender ones, they were sharp, calculating, and you had a strange, distinct feeling, one that you couldn’t quite place but you were sure it was reminiscent of how a deer might feel when it’s cornered by a predator with nowhere to run.

You swallowed thickly, “Yeah,” you said quietly, looking away from him. Ran peeled off the wall, walking closer to you and your fingers twitched at your sides when he finally stood in front of you. Silently, you held out the wires you were trying to hook up and your breath caught as Ran reached out to take them, fingers brushing yours.

You stood there for a moment, unmoving. Ran raised his eyebrows again and you frowned, unsure of what he wanted. His lips twitched up, a sort of mocking amusement dancing in his eyes, “Gotta get past you, doll,” he murmured.

Your face went hot again as you realized you were standing right in front of where he had to get to, and just as you were about to move out of the way, your eyes widened, Ran pressed his hand against the small of your back, sliding past you. And you felt dizzy, the scent of his body wash was overwhelming, the feeling of his body brushing against yours, you could feel his skin--you felt light-headed and you didn’t even know why.

As if he could sense how the brief contact had flustered you, he tossed you a wink. You stood there, stiff and nervous as he shifted the television on the wall mount so he could access the plugs better.

“C’mere,” he said, nodding his head to you, “I’ll show you so you know how to do it next time.”

You swore your heart was in your throat. The area behind the television was small, too small, you would be pushed up against him if he wanted you to come watch him plug it in. Just as you were about to shake your head and take a step back, Ran reached forward, tugging you a little closer.

Your breath caught as your back pressed against his chest. He let out a quiet apology, not having meant to pull you that hard--but a part of you didn’t believe him even as you told him it was okay. You took a step away so that your body wasn’t flush against his but it didn’t help.

You could barely focus on the way his long fingers fiddled with the wires, connecting them correctly. His voice was low in your ear, smooth like honey as he explained what you were fucking up with. It had your blood running hot and your hair standing up all at the same time.

His words went in one ear, out the other—you were more absorbed in the way you could feel how his skin was still hot from the shower he had taken, in the way you could smell his body wash so intensely, in the way you could hear each and every subtle fluctuation in his tone.

You prayed to god that he didn’t ask you to hook the television up yourself after he was done explaining to prove you understood what he was saying. On one hand, you knew damn well he already knew just how affected you were by his proximity and you were sure the satisfaction of that would be enough for him but on the other, you had a distinct feeling that Haitani Ran was the sort of man that got off on humiliation.

He was dangerous, you realized to yourself thickly. Your father kept you sheltered, but you were not naive. You knew of the rumors circulating Tokyo surrounding the people that bore the tattoo marring your stepbrothers’ throats, and you knew that the rumors were more than just rumors.

An unsteady feeling curled in your stomach as Ran finished explaining. You stepped away, still feeling hot and unwilling to look at him as you made your way to the couch, shooting him a quiet, stuttered thanks as your shaky hand lifted the remote.

He sat next to you.

Too close. You could feel his skin brushing yours, you could see the way his towel loosened from the corner of your eye.

“What’re you gonna watch?” Ran asked curiously.

“A show,” you responded tensely, trying to loosen the way your jaw had clenched tight at his proximity yet again.

He was waiting for you to elaborate, you realized and you let out a soft breath as you told him the name of the show, stupidly mentioning that it was your favorite.

“Mmm, hit play,” he hummed, “I’ll watch a few episodes with you, don’t think I’ve got anything else to do today anyway.”

With a figure that trembled just a bit too much to be solely from the way the air conditioning was blasting in the house, you pressed play on the remote—desperately trying to relax yourself against the cushions and ignore the way Ran’s toned arm was draped on the couch behind your head, ignore the way that if you looked out of the corner of your eye, your gaze could dip down below his towel from the way he was sitting.

Haitani Ran was dangerous, you noted again, hoping he missed the way you had instinctively rubbed your thighs together, especially if he could throw you off kilter like this so badly, if he could fluster you so intensely with minimal actions.

He was dangerous in more ways than one, you glanced at the tattoo branding his throat again and then went hot when he flashed you another smile. Very dangerous and you had always hated danger, no matter how appealing the form it came in was.

And that realization was all you needed to know to come to the conclusion that you would stay the fuck away from Haitani Ran and his charming smiles and captivating words no matter what the cost.

—

Haitani Rindou could not understand. It took a lot to boggle him like this but his older brother’s obsession with you was certainly more than enough to render him to such a state.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t try to understand. He did, he swore he did. Especially after Ran made that comment about how Rindou would switch up, and he only tried to understand because he wanted to avoid what might cause the switch up just so Ran couldn’t hold that ‘I told you so’ over his head.

But he could not understand. He did not know why Ran was so captivated by you, he did not know why Ran was so insistent that Rindou would switch up, and he certainly did not know why you kept trying to talk to him despite the fact he was cold and aloof with you.

Or, well, maybe he did know. Rindou’s lips pulled up around his cigarette as he made his way through the house toward the back door. You could not stand Ran, that much was apparent from how you had begun to actively avoid him. Whenever he walked into the room, you were moving in the opposite direction almost instantly. Maybe it wasn’t that you couldn’t stand him, he considered, more than it was Ran having come on to you too strong.

You were a lot like a deer, Rindou noted, inhaling a deep breath of smoke before tilting his head back and exhaling, letting it cloud around him. Hesitant, wary, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger, and evidently, you had deemed Ran as dangerous. Rindou would be insulted, really, that you didn’t seem to view him as dangerous but he found it way more amusing watching the frustration cross Ran’s face every time you drifted over toward Rindou or whenever you fled the room as soon as he showed up.

Rindou pushed open the back door, making his way out toward the pool, pausing mid step when he caught sight of you floating in the pool on one of the pink inflatable pool mats. You lowered your sunglasses when you heard the door open, tilting your head up to look at whoever had come outside. Your lips had been twisted down in suspicion until you seemed to recognize Rindou. Your lips turned up and you lifted your hand to wave at him.

Rindou ignored you, trying to hide the smile that nearly touched his lips when he realized you must have been suspicious over the fact that it might have been Ran that came outside. He debated on going back inside but decided against it--Ran was arguing on the phone with Kokonoi and Sanzu, and Rindou knew it was only a matter of time before the argument started getting loud and he did not particularly want to deal with that.

Holding the cigarette between his lips, he took off his tank top, pulling out his phone as he sat down on the pool chair next to the water. He scrolled through the groupchat he had with Mochi and Kakucho, snorting when he realized that the two of them must be in the same room as Kokonoi and Sanzu, listening as the argument drew on between them and Ran.

16:33 Kakucho: Sanzu won’t shut the fuck up, think Ran might actually lose it this time?

16:34 Mochi: Oh yeah, there he goes

As if on cue, a crash came from inside the house. Rindou snickered, shooting a message to them before a splash from the pool caught his attention. His gaze darted up above his phone right as he pressed send. He raised his eyebrows when he caught sight of you wading toward him, head bobbing above the water as you leaned up against the side of the pool.

“Hi,” you said, eyes happy as you looked up at him. He wondered what changed from the first night he had met you when you could barely look him in the eye. Or he supposed that he did know, you considered him the lesser of two evils now.

“Hey,” Rindou responded, meeting your eyes for half a second before letting his gaze drift back toward the house. Ran was at the window, phone pressed to his ear, eyes dark when he noticed that you were initiating conversation with Rindou.

Rindou, who had been very much intent on ignoring you after you exchanged your greetings, abruptly had a much better idea.

He sat up from where he was leaning back against the pool chair, putting his phone down, legs spread and feet pressed on the ground on either side of the chair, elbows resting on his thighs. Your eyes brightened over the fact that he wasn’t ignoring you, Rindou bit back a smirk when he noticed the vile, frustrated expression that crossed over Ran’s face when he noticed.

Not as fun when you’re not the first choice, hm? Rindou jabbed silently toward his older brother, having been in that exact position for the majority of his life. He knew that the only reason Ran had been so arrogant with his, ‘you’ll switch up,’ was because he was certain that you would prefer him over Rindou anyway, as most women have. And now that it was becoming apparent that that was not, in fact, the case…

Rindou was suddenly a whole lot more interested in you, even if it were for all the wrong reasons.

You propped your elbows up on the edge of the pool, resting your chin on one of your palms as you looked up at him.

“Whatcha guys hanging around so often for now anyway?” you asked, eyes lidded in a way that had his thoughts taking a rather filthy turn. He scolded himself silently, hating the way his blood jumped as you looked up at him through your lashes, eyes wide and curious.

He supposed he could see the attraction. He calculated you as he gave you a half-assed answer as to why he and Ran were suddenly all over their mother’s place again. You were a pretty little thing, that was for sure, and Ran had always enjoyed pretty little things like you. Rindou too, of course, but he had never seen it grow to this much of an obsession.

He watched as you babbled on about one of your classes--he wasn’t even quite sure how the conversation changed to this, but in his defense he hadn’t really been paying attention, too focused on trying to piece together the mystery you had thrown on him. He was grateful for the sudden change in your demeanor--this way he could focus on trying to figure this out while you distracted yourself with your conversation. You had been quiet the night that they had met you--quiet and timid and nervous. You were still that way whenever Ran was around, but Rindou thought he might prefer this side of you--the bright smile and brighter eyes that decorated your expression as you chatted animatedly about your interests. Interests that he genuinely couldn’t care less about but he still found himself listening fairly intently to as you went on and on about world politics.

You wanted to be a lawyer specializing in international law, he learned, eyes tracing your lips as you told him about a presentation you had on about the geopolitical risks of nuclear technology.

He asked you a question about your presentation, he watched as your eyes lit up, as you pushed yourself out of the pool just a little more, his breath caught as your breasts bounced at the subtle movement. Momentarily, Rindou’s gaze dropped down, watching as water droplets dripped down your collarbone and between your breasts.

He dragged his eyes back up to your face, gaze slowly tracing up the water droplets still dripping down your body up to your lips, spread wide across your face in a sort of smile that ignited something in him that he didn’t expect. His mouth felt dry, his eyes met yours again. You didn’t notice--he supposed he should be grateful for that. The last thing he needed was for you to start thinking he and Ran were the same.

Oh.

Realization hit him slowly--in a sort of way that had his skin crawling and heart stuttering in his chest. He spared one last glance to the window he had seen his brother in not ten minutes before, eyes wide and panic beginning to hit because…

… because Rindou had a distinct feeling that he just fucked himself.

---

Like his brother, Haitani Ran also could not understand. He was absolutely baffled as to how he had gone so horribly wrong with you. He had been nice, friendly, he went out of his way to try to help you and he made sure that he kept his temper in check whenever you were around even when Rindou was purposefully needling him. He had done all of that, and yet you still refused to talk to him--go near him, even.

But somehow you were perfectly comfortable with Rindou, and Ran just couldn’t understand why no matter how hard he tried.

His thin temper was on the verge of snapping, and it would not be pretty for anybody if, or more likely when, it did.

His jaw was tight as he stared down at his glass of wine, watching the red liquid slosh back and forth as he circled his hand.

He didn’t even know why this was bothering him so much. Or he supposed he did, Ran was pretty sure this was the first time ever that a woman had not chased after him. And likewise, it was the first time ever that he had chased after a woman.

And that was what had Ran so confused.

Why the fuck was he chasing after you?

Why was it not working?

Why was he continuing to chase when it was apparent that it wasn’t working?

Well, the last question was easy to answer--Ran had always had trouble accepting defeat and this was turning into one of the most frustrating games of his life.

His finger hovered above the call button on his cell phone.

Humiliating, this would be fucking humiliating. Mochi’s number was displayed bright on his screen, and he knew that calling his friend would result in a number of jokes at his expense but Ran wasn’t sure what else to do.

He could practically hear the comments already and it had his face heating up in anger and embarrassment.

How the fuck was he supposed to explain that he was trying and failing to seduce his new step-sister without sounding like an absolute fucking loser?

There was no way, he realized mournfully, locking his phone and shoving it back in his pocket, downing the rest of his drink. He would have to figure it out by himself.

He glanced over to the clock on the wall. It was late, obscenely so, he hadn’t realized how quickly the time had passed, and Ran felt dread pooling in him when he remembered that he had a meeting first thing in the morning.

He let out a long sigh, tipping his head back and downing the rest of his glass. Placing the glass back down on the counter, head fuzzy from the alcohol, Ran began to make his way back toward his room.

A part of him hated you, truly. He felt it deep in his chest, flowing throughout his body. He never tried for anyone, ever, not until you--and you, the first person he genuinely tried for, only brushed him off, avoided him.

It was fucking embarrassing. Humiliating. He knew that Rindou was laughing at him whenever he got the chance, and he knew that if the others found out, they would be doing the same exact thing.

The fact that he had even been considering going to Mochi about this, to ask his advice concerning how the fuck to approach you, was a mystery in itself. Mochi would have never let him live it down and you should not matter to him this much.

Why the fuck did he care so much about what you thought of him? Why was he so desperate to make you see him, want him? He had never been that way with other women, why you?

Even if he had been right a few nights ago when he decided the reason he wanted you was because he wanted to taint that purity that seemed to cling to you like a second skin, it didn’t explain why he was trying so fucking hard when it was obvious you had no interest.

It was exhausting. And he was certain it was driving him half-mad, watching you hang around his brother like an elementary school girl with a crush all the while avoiding him like the plague.

He let out a heavy sigh, sparing your ajar bedroom door a hateful glare as he made his way toward it so he could pass it to get to his own room further down the hall.

It was a waste of his time, he told himself, he was better off forgetting you and going back to women at the club. But even as the thought crossed his mind, the picture of your wide eyes and long lashes looking up at him as he helped you hook up the television flashed through his head, he recalled your soft voice and even softer skin as he sat just a bit too close to you and all he could think of was how your body would feel beneath his, how you would sound crying out his name, wide eyes glassy and tears spilling over your cheeks as you begged him for more and begged him to slow down all at the same time.

Ran let out a low groan, shutting his eyes and tilting his head back against the wall next to your door.

Fuck, he thought to himself, letting out a shaky, heavy breath as he tried to work himself up to continuing back to his room.

You were so close, he swallowed thickly. You were just behind the door and Ran could practically picture the way you were fast asleep in bed, blankets strewn all over, one bare leg visible, pajama shirt riding up your stomach. Your lips would be wet and parted, soft puffs of air escaping your lips as you slept soundly, unaware of his presence on the opposite side of the door and the vile, vile thoughts running through his head.

Another noise escaped his lips, his eyes screwed shut. What the fuck was wrong with him? he wanted to scream at himself, he wanted to pick his feet up to keep moving down the hall but he couldn’t.

Especially when he heard noise coming from inside your room.

His head fell to the side, eyes trained on your door as he listened intently. You should be asleep, fast asleep, really, he had been in the kitchen with you when you took your sleeping pills earlier. Was he imagining it?

No, he definitely wasn’t. A quiet whimper resounded from your room, one that he would have missed had he not been listening for it.

There were no sounds of movement from behind the door, Ran was so still that he was certain if someone passed by they would’ve mistaken him for a statue.

He waited a moment—another, he recognized, swallowing thickly as he glanced at the door, a hot feeling pooling in his lower abdomen. Maybe you were having a nightmare? he considered, trying to figure out what to do.

His palm pressed flat against the ajar door, hesitating only for a moment before pushing it open. He winced at the creak, and cursed his mother for never replacing the hinges on the older doors in the house. And just as Ran was about to take a step into the room, he froze, because the next noise that escaped your lips was not a whimper.

His eyes ripped up to where you were laying, mouth going dry as his gaze landed on you, covers strewn on top of you, just like he expected, quick, heavy pants escaping swollen lips, chest rising and falling rapidly. You were wearing different pajamas tonight—a tank top that was half-falling off of you and a pair of shorts that barely covered anything—and Ran could not take his eyes off of you, and he wouldn’t have wanted to even if he could.

Your eyes were squeezed shut tight, sweat beaded at your skin, body shifting and squirming underneath the thin sheet—you had tossed your comforter off some time during the night. Another soft moan escaped your lips, unmistakable this time, and Ran’s cock twitched at the thought.

Fuck, he thought, his feet were pressed hard against the ground. He tried to force himself to turn on his heel and walk away but he couldn’t.

It would be the right thing to do, Ran told himself but Haitani Ran had never been a good man, and a part of him wondered why the fuck he should start now.

But Rindou’s words circulated through his head—don’t ruin this for mom—and more selfishly, a part of him really was worried you would wake up, no matter how illogical the fear might be (he had seen you take the pills), and if you woke up and saw him, any chance he had would be thrown out the window.

With that thought in mind and a litany of curses running through his head, he took a step out of your room, closing the door behind him. Just as he was about to quietly shut it, another noise left your lips.

His name.

Ran stared ahead blankly, scared, if only for a second, that you had woken up and seen him. He glanced back over his shoulder, a million excuses on the tip of his tongue, but his lips only parted in shock when he realized you were still asleep.

Oh fuck.

God was testing him, he realized. His throat felt tight, his head felt dizzy. He took in a deep breath. Fuck.

And it took absolutely everything Ran had in him to step out of your room and close the door behind him. His eyes slid shut as he leaned back against the door, trying to control himself.

His hand twitched toward the buckle of his pants, cock straining against the tightness of his slacks, abdomen tense and breath shaky. The sight of you squirming in bed, the sound of your whimpers and moans playing on repeat through his head—his name.

You wanted him.

The thought was almost enough to push him over the edge after having heard you moan his name in your sleep. For all of your avoidance and excuses, you wanted him, and it set a new sort of fire running through his blood, igniting the determination that had slowly faded after two weeks of rejection.

You and your father and his mother were going on vacation next week, Ran remembered, head half-dizzy and legs all but trembling as he made his way back to his room.

He would figure out a game plan while you were gone, and once you were back, he swore to fucking god, he would do this right.

—

Something had changed.

You weren’t sure how, or what exactly it was, but something had changed and it had you on edge.

At first it was just Ran that had thrown you off kilter, unnerved by how familiar he acted with you and unhappy with the very unwelcome feelings he had brought upon you. But now it was Rindou too, and you hated it because he hadn’t been the one to change. He was still aloof with you, he was still distant, but now every time he accidentally (was it really accidentally?) brushed up against you, your head felt fuzzy and your body felt hot.

It had been easy to avoid Ran, because you would run to Rindou instead, but now Rindou wasn’t an option because he was making you feel those same, equally unwelcome feelings.

You shut your eyes. You hated it.

School. Studying. Clubs.

That was your life.

You wanted to do well in university. You wanted to get into the best law school. You wanted to make a name for yourself.

And now you wanted them.

You wanted them, and you hated it.

You wished you could go back to before you had met them, you wished you had stayed in your room and gotten a shitty night of sleep because now you couldn’t focus on anything but them.

Every time your professor droned on in class, your mind would wander to the way that Ran’s body had felt pressed up against yours that day he helped you with the television, your head would feel dizzy as you wondered how he would feel pressed up behind you in different scenarios—on his bed, over your desk, against the door to your parents’ bedroom. Your mind would wander to Rindou and his ever-apathetic expression, and you wondered what expression he would make if you were on your knees in front of him, if he was hovering above you with your legs hooked over his shoulders, and every time you realized just how far your mind had drifted, your face heated up and your eyes got teary.

You had never been like this before. You hadn’t. You weren’t totally inexperienced, you’d had a boyfriend before, but you had never been so dumb and obsessed over some guy’s cock before. You weren’t the type to just sit there and fantasize for hours on end but now you were and it was affecting your studies and it was their fault.

And it wasn’t just some guy, you wanted to cry, they were your brothers. Your brothers. Your father had married their mother. They were your brothers, maybe not by blood, but they were still your family, and all you could think about was them having their way with you in any and every possible position.

“You okay, hun?” you nearly flinched at the sound of Mrs. Haitani’s voice, and you wanted to cry even more when you noticed the genuine concern. She was worried about you as if you hadn’t just been having vile thoughts about her sons.

“Yeah,” your voice cracked, “I’m okay.”

She didn’t believe you, but for once she didn’t push and you were grateful.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” she sat on the couch next to you. Her suitcase was packed by the door next to your father’s, she was dressed fancy in a nice fur coat and hat. “It’ll only take a few minutes to pack, there should still be an extra seat in first class near us.”

“I’m sure,” you said softly, “I have an exam in two weeks, I really need to study.”

Mrs. Haitani sighed, but she nodded, rising to her feet. “If you say so,” she sounded disappointed, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to feel guilty.

With your father and Mrs. Haitani out of the house, and the brothers thinking you were with them, you would have plenty of time to study and get yourself under control, and you would be sure to take advantage of it.

—

He had fucked up. He had so awfully, terribly fucked up that he didn’t know if he would even be able to recover from it. Rindou gasped for breath as he frantically tried to turn his bike on, holding his wounded side and grimacing as he sat on the seat. As quick as possible, he pulled out of the warehouse.

He had stumbled right into a fucking trap, and he had no one to blame but himself but he wasn’t going to admit that to anyone--not even his brother. He was the one who had pushed for accepting the deal from their rivals, Sanzu had been vehemently against it--claiming that they were just trying to set Bonten up--and Rindou had been stubborn, too stubborn, once he realized Sanzu was disagreeing with him. It had turned into a battle of egos because there was no way he would ever let Sanzu win because he knew damn well Sanzu would never shut up about it--Sanzu had it out for them ever since the Kanto Manji days, and it had only gotten worse over time.

He had wanted to prove the fucker wrong and all he had done was give him more ammunition against Rindou and his brother. Rindou was not prepared for the slew of insults and accusations that were going to be thrown his way at the next meeting.

Assuming he survived the night.

He couldn’t worry about that yet.

First, he had to get out of enemy territory, and then he had to get his wound closed up before he fucking bled out.

The speedometer ticked upwards as he sped down the streets, trying to lose the cars chasing behind him. Each little movement had pain shooting through his body so intense that it had his vision going spotty.

He might die, he realized, a sick feeling in his stomach as he took a sharp turn down another street, gasping as the movement ripped the wound open more.

He turned down another street, and another, and another after that. His vision tunneled and blurred, once he was certain that he had at the very least lost the immediate tails on him, he fumbled to pull his phone from his pocket.

It was night time, and it was drizzling, and he supposed he should be more careful but he also supposed that being reckless was really his only option right now--his chances of survival were already slim anyway.

He pressed the first number that popped up on his screen--Ran.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ran picked up instantly, voice panicked, and Rindou could practically picture the expression on his face. Guilt ate at his stomach. “Rindou, wh-”

“Was a fuckin’ trap,” the words were bitter to admit out loud. “I got shot, I lost the people chasing me. I’m gonna head to mom’s place, it’s closer than the apartment.”

Rindou could hear Ran choke, “You got shot?” he demanded, “What about all the backup-”

“Dead,” Rindou grunted, swerving dangerously as his vision started going out again, “We don’t have time for this right now. Mom and the new guy are on vacation, right? I don’t want her to see me like this.”

“They are,” he heard Ran say over the line, his voice tense, laced with worry, and Rindou hated that it was because of him, “I’ll be there in twenty. Slow the bleeding, okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” Rindou muttered, hanging up the phone and stuffing it back into his pocket as he came to a hasty stop at the front of the house. He let out a slew of curses as his feet hit the ground, pain shooting up his side again.

He stumbled into the house, eyes frantic and breath quick. It fucking hurt, he grit his teeth hard as he looked around. He couldn’t remember where his mother had kept the bandages or needle and thread to stitch the wound up.

Fuck, he thought to himself, side on fire as his gaze darted around. The bathroom?

Just as he was about to make his way to the bathroom, a noise made him freeze. Inhaling sharply, he reached for the gun holstered at its side, flicking the safety off and holding it up, ignoring how his side screamed in pain at the movement.

The hallway was dark and it took all of Rindou’s self control not to get trigger-happy. No one should be here--his mom, your father, you, you guys were all on vacation. The house should have been empty. His finger twitched as a shadow appeared in the hallway, a hesitant figure making its way toward him.

“Who-”

“Rindou?”

The anxiety that had been building in his chest disappeared in an instant at the sight of you standing at the edge of the hallway, dressed in pale pink silk pajamas, similar to the ones you had been wearing that first night. He dropped the gun to his side, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Y/n,” he breathed out, “the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with mom and your dad in Santorini?”

You shook your head, “No, I stayed home,” you said quietly, stepping into the sitting room. Your eyes darted around suspiciously before they finally focused on him, widening when you saw the blood staining his shirt and dripping down the side of his body. “You’re hurt.”

No shit, he nearly said but he bit the snippy words as soon as they reached the tip of his tongue when you rushed toward him, “Come, your mom keeps the medical stuff in her bedroom’s bathroom.”

You wrapped an arm around Rindou’s waist, careful to not put pressure on the wound and Rindou let out a shaky breath as he leaned into you a bit, not wanting to throw his whole weight on top of you and topple the two of you over. He let his eyes slide shut as you guided him through the halls.

You were talking, but your voice was wavering and he could feel the way you were trembling against him. You were scared, and Rindou supposed a part of him felt guilty for it, but in his defense, you were not supposed to be here.

You turned on the light of the bathroom, ushering him to sit on the closed toilet seat. You didn’t say anything as you kneeled in front of the bathroom cabinet pulling out a bunch of different items before shuffling back over to him. Rindou’s eyes felt heavy as he looked down at you, watching as you knelt between his legs.

“I’m going to take off your shirt,” you said after a moment, looking up at him, “To see the wound.”

Rindou only let out a grunt in response, grimacing as he forced himself to sit up straight. You fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, fingers shaky. Rindou liked to blame it on the blood loss-induced haze, really, because when he looked down at you, watching your fingers trace his skin as you wiped away the blood with an antiseptic wipe, he couldn’t help the way his mind wandered.

And a part of him wanted to punch himself in the face because here he was, bleeding out in his childhood home, his new step-sister helping patch him up, and the only thing he could think about was how fucking pretty you look on your knees in front of him.

Get a hold of yourself, Rindou spat at himself, gritting his teeth and letting his head fall back as you pressed the needle into his skin. A hiss escaped his lips at the sting and you apologized softly under your breath.

Rindou’s eyes were lidded as looked down at you, kneeling between his legs, elbows propped on his side as you stitched up the wound in his lower abdomen.

“How do you know how to do this?” he asked, which was evidently a mistake because your gaze shifted up toward him, looking up at him through your lashes with wide eyes.

God was testing him, he decided, forcing his gaze away from you and looking back up at the ceiling.

“My ex got into fights a lot,” you finally said. He did not like the thought of you having an ‘ex’ but he couldn’t linger on it long as you continued, he could practically hear the amused smile twitching at your lips, “he didn’t often win.”

Rindou snorted, but the action made him wince.

“The bullet went through, so i’ll stitch the other side and you should be fine,” you said after a few moments of silence, “… you’ll still probably wanna get this checked out by an actual doctor though.”

“Yeah, I will tomorrow or something,” not an actual doctor though, just one of the one’s on Bonten’s payroll. Going to a hospital was not exactly an option for him, and from the way you didn’t even question why he didn’t go to one, he had a feeling you knew that.

The bathroom door slammed open. Rindou jumped, fumbling for his gun, you let out a surprised shriek, just as he had a firm grasp on the grip of the gun, he realized who exactly had entered the bathroom with them.

“Ran, what the fuck?” Rindou demanded, heart racing as he relaxed back on the seat, “I thought you said twenty minutes.”

Ran shot him an irritated look, out of breath and still significantly frazzled, “You got shot,” was all he said in response, and Rindou wondered just how fast Ran had driven to get to the house so fast. “You don’t know how to patch up your own wounds you could have bled out.”

Rindou looked away. Ran was right, of course, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

“I thought you were on vacation,” Ran said, having finally noticed who exactly was kneeling in front of Rindou, stitching him up.

“I didn’t go,” you said quietly. Ran let out a hum, moving around you to sit down on the side of the tub next to Rindou, watching intently as you finished stitching the entrance wound. You tapped his thigh and Rindou took it as a cue to turn, straddling the toilet seat, facing the tank as you began to start on the exit wound.

Rindou made the mistake of looking at Ran, who was watching the two of you curiously. Rindou did not like the look on his face.

You stood up after a few minutes of tense silence, looking awkwardly between the two of them, “I’m gonna head to bed,” you said, “the stitching is pretty sloppy but it gets it done for now.”

“Thanks,” Rindou said, voice rough, and he felt a little bad because he should have been nicer—you just saved his ass, after all—but all he could focus on was how Ran was watching him with that stupid, knowing look on his face.

As soon as you left the bathroom, Ran was running his mouth, “You switched up,” he said so matter-of-factly that there was no arguing against it.

Rindou looked away, “Fuck you.”

“Bet you wish you were fucking her,” Ran countered in response and Rindou scoffed.

“Fuck you,” he said even louder, glaring at Ran heatedly. Ran only grinned, eyes bright. “Shouldn’t you still be sulky over the fact she won’t even look at you?” Rindou spit out, voice vile.

Ran looked unbothered and the thought had Rindou’s skin crawling because just a few days ago Ran had been furious and distressed over it.

What had changed?

“Why would I be?” Ran’s voice was teasing, too light to be of comfort.

“The fuck you mean why would you be? You’ve been shitty over the fact she likes me more for weeks,” Rindou snapped.

Ran’s smile had Rindou nervous.

“Oh, does she?” Ran cooed, “I don’t think it was your name she was moaning in her sleep, little brother.”

Rindou’s expression dropped, he stared at Ran, “You’re lying,” he hissed but Rindou knew that he wasn’t.

“Mmm, it seems our new baby sister likes me a bit more than she lets on, Rindou.”

—

You’d been tossing and turning for two hours. You couldn’t get your mind off of the brothers.

Again.

You had never seen Ran like that before, so serious, so scared. He had been terrified when he first burst through the bathroom door, and you weren’t sure you could exactly blame him. When you had seen Rindou stumbling through the sitting room, blood soaked through his shirt and dripping onto the floor, you swore that your heart was in your throat.

You sighed as you sat up in bed, hands pressed against the mattress behind you, head tilted back as you looked up at the ceiling.

Your hands were still shaking, you noticed, swallowing thickly as you shifted to sit off the side of the bed, feet dangling for a moment before you forced yourself to stand up. You had classes again tomorrow, but you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. You were stressed over Rindou’s wound, you were stressed over whatever caused the wound, and you were stressed over the fact that no matter what you did, you could not take your mind off of either of them.

This was not like you. A part of you was angry that they had showed up--this was supposed to be your week to relax, your week to finally get yourself under control, to focus back on school and studying and all of the upcoming exams you were going to have to suffer through.

Instead here they were, and here you were, once again up half of the night thinking about them.

You should have taken your pills, you realized, but you were thrown off so badly by Rindou’s appearance that you had totally forgotten about them, and if you took them now, you wouldn’t be able to wake up for your 8 AM class tomorrow.

You let out another irritated breath, rising to your feet. You might as well go make yourself some sort of tea to try to help you doze off.

Just as you were about to make your way to the door, you paused when you heard a rather harsh knock at your door, two familiar voices behind it.

“Rindou, c’mon,” you heard Ran mutter.

“Fuck off,” Rindou snapped right back.

You sighed, speak of the devils. Your feet dragged against the ground as you made your way to your door, pulling it open and looking up at Rindou and Ran. The question on your lips died when you saw just how furious Rindou looked as he pushed past you into your room.

“Um-” you began, turning to look at him but he cut you off.

“You like stringin’ both of us along?” Rindou demanded, taking a step closer to you.

Your jaw went slack, your face was on fire. You took a step back, stepping right into Ran’s chest. Ran shot you a smile unfitting for the situation, one hand on your hip as he made you take another step forward, back into the center of the room so he could follow Rindou into the room, shutting the door behind him.

“I asked you a question,” Rindou said sharply, reaching forward to grab your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, a dark look circulated behind his eyes but you couldn’t pinpoint whether or not it was anger or… something else.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to look away, but his grip tightened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stuttered over the words, you were sure Rindou could feel how hot your face was beneath his fingers. “I don’t know-”

“No?” Ran cooed, coming right up behind you again, just like that day where he was helping you with the television. Your breath shook as you felt his body press up against your back, fingers grazing your hips as he held you in place lightly. “Are you calling my brother a liar, doll?”

“I-I didn’t say that,” you said, trying to shake your head and failing when Rindou didn’t let you move your face.”I did not say th-”

“So you’re saying there’s some truth behind it?” Ran interrupted you. He leaned down, you could feel his lips brush the shell of your ear, you hated how your body shivered directly in response to it, and you hated how you knew damn well that Ran noticed if the chuckle he let out was anything to say about it. He clicked his tongue mockingly. “How filthy, doll, have you been fantasizing about your big brothers?”

You blanched, fingers trembling, body hot--and you weren’t sure if it was from embarrassment or from the feeling of both of them so close.

“Y-you’re not my brothers,” you cried out, trying to push away from them but you couldn’t get yourself free. “You are not my brothers, don’t say that, that’s so-”

“Oh?” Ran murmured, and you had a feeling that you had walked right into whatever trap he had laid out for you, “So you have been fantasizing about us?”

Your heart was in your throat, “No, no, I did not say that either-” you tried to shake your head again but couldn’t. Rindou scoffed, you felt tears spring to your eyes. “I didn’t-”

“You haven’t?” Rindou’s voice was harsh, mean, you took in a wet, shaky breath, “So then why the fuck were you moaning Ran’s name in your sleep, huh?”

You swore your world went still, your ears were ringing, his words rang in your head over and over and over again.

Moaning Ran’s name in your sleep-

“There’s no-there’s no way,” you couldn’t breathe, “You must’ve heard wrong, there’s no-”

You were lying through your teeth, you had woken up many times over the past few weeks from less than pure dreams about one, or both, of the brothers. But there was no way they had overheard you--you don’t sleep talk, there was no way. You had never sleep talked before as far as you knew.

“Mm, but you did, princess,” Rindou’s tone was laced with malice, eyes heated as he stared down at you.

“I didn’t,” you tried again, “I didn’t, I don’t think of you guys that way, I don-”

“You haven’t?” Ran cooed, his lips were still close to your ear, you couldn’t help the way your eyes fluttered shut, “Well, if you don’t think of us that way, then I guess you don’t wanna hear all the dirty little fantasies I’ve had about you, do you?”

Your breath caught, your mouth went dry, “H-huh?” was all you could say, and you wished that Rindou’s grip on your face would loosen so you could look back at him but Rindou forced you to keep looking at him.

“I’ve thought about you a lot,” he murmured, and you trembled when you felt his lips brush your ear before dipping lower, ghosting across the skin of your neck, breath hot and dizzying against your skin, “Thought about that pretty face of yours, havin’ those pretty lips wrapped around my cock. You think you could handle my cock, doll? … I don’t think so, but I think you’d look real good chokin’ all over me.”

You bit back a whimper, lips parting when the fingers on your waist trailed lower, tracing light patterns on your hip bone, sliding even lower, too low. Your breath was quick, you could feel your body reacting to his touches, and you could feel the way his lips were pulling up in amusement.

“Thought about that pretty pussy of yours too, thought about ruinin’ it,” he breathed out, teeth grazing your skin. This time you couldn’t hold back the whimper. “Stuffin’ you so full of my cum that it’s leakin’ from your cunt for days.”

You shifted, accidentally brushing against Ran’s cock. A gasp ripped from your lips when he let out a low groan against your skin, “Thought about bending you over that desk you’re always doin’ your work on, takin’ you over the hood of your dad’s fancy car, splitting you open while you try to focus during one of those dumb Zoom meetings for your club.”

“S’not right,” you gasped as one of Ran’s hands flattened against your lower stomach, pressing you harder against him, “We can-”

Your eyes snapped back open when a hand wrapped tight around your throat, pulling you right from Ran’s grasp and backing you up into the bed. You gasped as the back of your knees hit the mattress, falling back flat, Rindou hovering on top of you, eyes dark and lips twisted down.

“Rin,” you gasped, “We shouldn’t, your wound and-and our parents and-“

“Fuck the wound and fuck them,” Rindou spat out and a soft keen left your lips when he let go of your neck, lips attaching to the spot beneath your jaw instantly. His mouth sucked hard at your neck, and you knew it would leave marks come morning but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, while his tongue drew pretty patterns against your skin, as if he was trying to soothe the area his lips and teeth were violating.

He drew back momentarily, knees straddling your waist as he looked you over, shaking his head, “You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he murmured, pressing his lips back to the junction of your neck, voice muffled against your skin, “Never seen anything like it.”

One of his hands slipped beneath your silk pajama top, smoothing over your skin before sliding up your body, kneading one of your breasts firmly, thumb flicking over your nipple. You let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut as your back arched up off the bed and into his touch instinctively.

You could feel him smile against your neck, “You’re so sensitive,” he breathed out, pulling back to look over you. You watched as curiosity sparked in his eyes. “Have you ever…”

You knew what he was asking without him having to finish it, and you could feel the way your face heated up in humiliation at the question, “Yes,” you interrupted before he could speak it out loud. “Yes,” you hesitated, “I have…”

You have, that was true, but your ex-boyfriend wasn’t exactly adept in making a girl feel good. He was always more focused on his own pleasure. This was foreign to you, and you were nervous.

Not to mention the fact that a part of you still was hesitant.

You wanted them, god, you fucking wanted them. You’d been thinking about it nonstop since you had met them--it was eating your brain away, consuming your every thought. You hoped that letting them have their way with you once, you would get it out of your system, you’d be able to go back to focusing on your studies and your future.

But… you couldn’t shake the thought out of your head--they were your brothers. Maybe not by blood, but they were your brothers. They were. Your father had married their mother, and both of them wanted the three of you to get along as siblings would. Mrs. Haitani was very vocal about it and even your father had made comments about how nice it would be for you to have brothers to look out for you now.

This was wrong, you told yourself over and over and over again but instead of pushing Rindou off and telling him to stop, you tilted your head back, giving him better access.

“Atta girl,” you heard Ran say, feeling the bed dip next to you and Rindou let out a low grunt of agreement against your skin, “Flip her over, Rindou.”

“Wh-” you began but you were cut off as Rindou immediately did what his brother asked, grabbing you by the hips and flipping the two of you over so that you were straddling his hips. Ran shifted behind you and Rindou sat up, pressing his lips to yours.

Whimpering softly against his lips, your hands rose to intertwine with his hair, holding him close. Ran chuckled as he pressed up against your back, lips pressed to the nape of your neck, trailing wet kisses down your neck toward your spine. His fingers worked at the buttons to your shirt as Rindou kept you distracted, tongue tracing along your bottom lip before pushing into your mouth, pressing down gently on your tongue as Ran slipped your top off of your shoulders.

They moved fast, and efficiently. You just couldn’t keep up. You swore you felt like their hands and lips were everywhere, and it had you dizzy and reeling, you couldn’t even hope to make full sense of what was happening, all you knew was that you felt good, so fucking good that it almost felt like an alcohol-induced hazed had swept over you.

Ran’s lips moved slowly down your spine, and your body trembled under his touch, his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your silk shorts and you gasped into Rindou’s mouth, giving the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

“Shhh,” Ran hushed and your hips jerked as you felt his fingers ghost over your panties, drawing a light circle over your clothed clit, “You weren’t kidding, she is sensitive,” he chuckled.

You pulled away from Rindou for only a moment, “Ran,” you panted, trying to look back but Rindou’s hand returned to your jaw, grip rough.

“Pay attention to me,” he said, voice low, dragging your face back toward him, to press his lips hard against yours again.

Ran’s fingers dipped lower and he laughed, lips pressed to your shoulder, “You’re fuckin’ drenched, doll, how many times have you imagined this happening… have you tried to get yourself off thinking about us?”

You shook your head quick--too quick--tears springing to your eyes once again because you had. It was only once, and as soon as you realized what you were doing, you stopped yourself, reminding yourself who they were to you, and how you couldn’t be thinking of them that way.

“Oh you have, haven’t you?” Ran gasped in mock disbelief, “Dirty girl, aren’t you? How would your father react if he knew you were finger fucking yourself and pretending it was your big brothers’ cocks?”

You forced yourself away from Rindou again, trying to ignore the way Ran’s long fingers dipped beneath your panties, body shuddering as his pointer finger glided between your folds, gathering up the slick before smearing it all over your clit.

“Y-You’re not my brothers, stop saying that,” you stuttered, trying to convince no one but yourself, and from the way Ran snorted he knew that as well.

“Hmm? Then why were you so worried about our parents before?” Ran questioned, biting down gently on your skin as he sunk a finger deep, deep into you. Your eyes half-rolled back at the feeling, hips jerking yet again in a desperate attempt for more. Ran groaned against your skin, “Fuck, doll, you’re so tight. How the fuck’re you supposed to fit us in there when you can barely fit a finger?”

His words went in one ear out the other, too lost in the feeling of their bodies already. Ran pumped his finger in and out of you steadily, thumb rubbing gentle circles on your clit while his free hand slid up your body to your neck, keeping a firm hold on it as he held you back against him. Rindou took the opportunity to trail his lips down your collarbone to your chest, hair brushing your skin as he captured one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue flicking over the bud as he sucked on it while his hand played with your other breast, pinching your nipple softly and massaging the soft flesh around it.

It was too much, they were too much. You couldn’t even think straight, much less pray to do anything. All you could do was lay between them and let them have their way with you, panting, gasping for air, body twitching and jerking with every touch.

Ran slipped another finger inside of you, stretching your walls around him and your vision went spotty and your head felt fuzzy. Your body felt hot, too hot, and far too quick.

“Oh god,” you whimpered, “Oh god, ‘s, ‘s so-“

You didn’t even really know what you were trying to say. Rindou’s teeth grazed your skin and the noise you let out was obscene, Ran picking up the pace of his fingers in time with Rindou’s increase of aggression.

It was overwhelming, so fucking overwhelming, you tried to hold yourself together. You tried so hard but it was just impossible with their hands and lips all over your body, and with the incessant filth spewing from Ran’s mouth.

“God, look at you,” Ran groaned, “Tried to play all fuckin’ coy and innocent avoiding me these past few weeks. If I’d known the only thing you wanted was to be stuffed with cock I would’ve given it to you, but you had to be difficult, didn’t you?”

No response left your lips other than another high pitch moan when his thumb pressed down hard on your clit at the same time as he tried to push another finger into you.

And that was all it took to send you spiraling, crying out their names so loud that you swore your neighbors would be able to hear as you came all over Ran’s fingers, body spasming between theirs and the grip Ran had on your throat tightened to hold you in place.

Your vision was blurry and your body was shaking but Rindou and Ran didn’t even give you a chance to recover. You were still fully out of it as they manhandled your body around positioning you on top of Rindou, straddling his waist.

“H-hold on,” you began, “I need a sec-“

Your jaw went slack when you felt the tip of Rindou’s cock nudge against your entrance before pushing in.

And it hurt, even with Ran having loosened you up with his fingers before, it was no comparison to how bad Rindou’s cock was stretching you out. The tears in your eyes spilled over, streaming down your cheek. It burned and it stung, your fingers, Ran’s fingers, your ex’s cock, nothing could have prepared you for the sensation of being split open on Haitani Rindou’s cock.

“S’too big, s’too big,” you sobbed, “‘m gonna die.”

Ran only cooed, reaching from behind you to cup your cheek, wiping away the tears, “How cute,” he murmured, “How’s she feel, Rindou?”

Rindou was breathing heavy, “Fuckin’ tight, you weren’t kidding, fuck,” he moaned, hips jerking up, the tip of his cock nudging so deep inside you that you swore he was up in your guts somehow.

Your eyes rolled back and the pain slowly, slowly began to shift into pleasure, the burn of the stretch becoming bearable as Rindou rolled his hips up into you, waiting for you to adjust to his side.

And it was in no time, really, you had your hand braced against his abdomen, nails digging into his tattoos, careful to avoid the stitchs, arms trembling and your thighs tense as you tried to move your hips with him. You could feel every inch of his cock molding against your walls, the in-and-out drag had drool pooling at the corner of your mouth, heavy pants and high-pitched moans spilling from your lips.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Ran said quietly, and your eyes fluttered up, you turned your head to meet his eyes, unfocused and blurry, your hips still moving to fuck yourself on Rindou’s cock. “Feels good being split open by your big brother, doesn’t it?”

And his words were only partly registering as you nodded frantically, “F-feels s’good, feels s’good, Ran,” you cried, eyes sliding back shut, “Feels-“

Two hands fell heavy on your hips, bruising, stopping your own movements and Rindou’s in one fell swoop. You sobbed, Rindou let out a string of vile curses.

You forced your eyes back open to look at Ran again, and distantly, you recognized the cruel, playful look in his eyes as he watched you, “I want you to tell me every little filthy fantasy you had about me and my brother.”

You shook your head, opening your mouth to refuse but Ran’s smile only widened, “Then stay here, I’ll hold you here cockwarming him all night if I have to,” he told you, and the expression on his face let you know that he had every intention of following through.

Your lips wobbled, your eyes blurred with tears again, one of Ran’s hands slid to rub soft circles on your clit while the other held you down on Rindou’s cock. He leaned in close over your shoulder, lips so close to yours they were nearly brushing. You could feel his breath mixing with yours, hot and dizzying.

“You feel how good he’s stretching you out,” Ran murmured, and between his words and the circles he was rubbing on your clit, your walls clenched down hard on Rindou’s cock, you could hear him let out a shameless moan behind you and you whimpered. “Imagine how much better it’ll feel when I let go and let him actually fuck you, doll.”

God, you could practically feel it. You could practically feel Rindou’s fingers digging into your hips as he brought you down hard on his cock over and over and over again, hips thrusting up to meet yours every time, cock so deep inside you that it had your mind going numb. You could practically hear the lewd sounds of skin on skin resounding through the room, the sloppy sound of his cock driving into your cunt.

You needed it.

And Ran knew it, if his smile had anything to say about it.

“Go on,” he urged, “tell us and I’ll let go.”

A humiliated sob bubbled at your lips, your body felt like it was on fire and you knew it wasn’t because of the way Rindou’s cock was lodged deep inside of you. You tried to move your hips despite Ran’s grip but he was stronger than you, and he only laughed when he noticed your attempt.

“S’not gonna work, doll,” he cooed, voice cruel and mocking. “Only way you’re getting what you want is if you give me what I want.”

The noise that escaped your lips was pathetic, your cheeks were wet from the tears that had spilled over, your body trembled violently beneath his grasp. Looking down, you noticed that Rindou’s eyes were screwed shut and his jaw was clenched, fingers wrapped tight around the bed sheets as he tried to control himself.

“I-I’ve thought about you,” you finally cried, and Ran hummed behind you, kissing your shoulder as he continued to trace light circles around your clit, “Th-the day you were helping with the TV-“

Ran tutted quietly and you stopped talking immediately.

“Tell me something new,” he said, “I could’ve guessed that one.”

Your lips wobbled again, taking in another ragged breath. He kissed back up to your ear, biting at the lobe gently.

“I want you to tell me all the filthy thoughts you had while you were stuffin’ your pussy full ‘n pretending it was us,” Ran breathed out, the hand on your hip sliding up your body to palm one of your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

And distantly, you noticed your hips were free to move again but now any sense of coherence was gone as his tongue returned to tracing patterns on your skin, as one of his fingers continued to tease your clit while the other gave your breasts some much needed attention.

“I-I thought about both of you,” you couldn’t even see straight. You were dizzy as Rindou’s cock twitched inside you, begging for the chance to finally fuck you right; and your eyes were blurry as the tears fell faster, your body hot as embarrassment spread through you. “I thought-I thought about suckin’ you off while Rindou fucks me. ‘n-n I thought about doin’ it while our parents are in the house n-n Rindou keepin me quiet while you go down on me. ‘n I thought about tryna take you both at the same time-“ another sob ripped from your lips, “please, please let him fuck me please-“

Ran laughed, a mean, spiteful laugh that had you crying even harder, “Hear that, Rindou? Our pretty lil step sister is nothin’ but a cock hungry whore, and here we were thinking she was all cute and innocent.” Rindou didn’t answer, his breath heavy and quick as he tried to hold himself still. “I don’t think you can fit us both this time but maybe next time, yeah?”

Next time?

You didn’t get the chance to linger on the thought because at once your world spun and now instead of facing Rindou, you were facing Ran, Rindou’s cock still lodged deep inside of you, the slight switch in angle pushing him even further inside of you. You nearly fell forward, hands falling forward to brace yourself on Rindou’s thighs.

You felt a hand intertwine with your hair and you winced as it yanked your head up and back rather harshly, your eyes met Ran’s amused ones.

“We can put that pretty mouth of yours to work though.”

Ran didn’t even give you a chance to process his words before he was pushing your head down hard, he tapped the tip of his cock against your lips twice impatiently, “Open up,” he said sharply and your body reacted on its own as your lips parted on instinct, “Good girl.”

He was not kind as he pressed your head down even further, pushing his cock between your lips and into your mouth. He was big, longer and thicker than anything you had seen before and you had very little experience with giving head. You choked around him, struggling to take him in but he didn’t seem to care, only letting out a huff of amusement and then a groan as your throat spasmed around him.

You couldn’t breathe, and you couldn’t think straight to try to take in deeper breaths through your nose, although that wouldn’t have even mattered considering Ran held your face flush to his pelvis, cock stretching out your throat so much that you swore there was a bulge there.

“The fuck you waiting for, Rindou?” Ran asked his brother, and that was seemingly all Rindou needed because at once his hands found your hips, bringing you down hard as he thrusted up into you.

You choked on Ran’s cock, moan muffled and eyes half-knocked back at the feeling of him bullying his cock deep into you. Your mind felt absolutely blank and numb as Rindou began fucking up into you at a steady pace, the sloppy sound of his cock fucking into your cunt, the breathy moans spilling from his lips, the sound of you choking on Ran’s cock—it was all too much for you to handle.

“Don’t think I-fuck-forgot about you, Rindou,” Ran warned, “Actin’ all fuckin holier-than-thou that first night. Look at you now, fuckin’ your sister like a bitch in heat.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Rindou groaned, each snap of his hips getting just a bit rougher at his words—but you couldn’t even really register what they were saying, more focused on trying not to pass out because of the combined lack of air and intense pleasure.

“Hm?” Ran laughed, “That’s what you were tryna call me, wasn’t it? Who’s the sister-fucker now, Rindou?”

The noise that Rindou let out was shameless, “Fuck you, Ran,” Rindou choked out as his grip on your hips tightened, as he brought you down so fast and so hard on his cock that it had your vision flashing white as your body shuddered and trembled, hips jerking and thighs tense as you came all over his cock.

“Fuck,” Rindou moaned loud as he felt you clench down on his cock, fingers bruising your skin as he fucked you through your high.

Neither he nor Ran give you a chance to recover. Rindou picked his pace back up almost immediately and Ran had never even faltered in his.

He let out a low whistle before his grip on your hair tightened when you went half-limp trying to recover from your orgasm, continuing to rock his hips against your face at a steady pace, “That’s it, doll, relax your throat,” he said, but his words went in one ear out the other.

His pace shifted into a rougher, faster one, moving your head in time with your hips and you felt your vision start to go spotty. You couldn't breathe through your nose between each snap of his hips and even if you could, any air that might’ve made it to your lungs was torn right from them as Rindou drove his cock deep into you.

It was too much.

You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think except for a few garbled thoughts, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t do anything except lay there and take it—the overwhelming pleasure, the pain of your throat being stretched out, the sound of all of the filthy noises resounding through the room and god the taboo of it all. What would your father think if he walked in on you choking over step-brother’s cock while getting railed by your other? What would Mrs. Haitani think?

The tears streaming down your face fell faster but even as the shame began to hit you, you could feel the heat pooling in your stomach again—faster, more intense this time. The burn of your lungs, the burn of the stretch of your throat and cunt, it was pushing you right back over the edge again.

You gagged at one particularly harsh thrust of Ran’s hips, trying to pull off to get some air only for him to press your face right back down, nose flush to his pelvis, grinding his hips against you. Your vision went spotty again as you felt his cock drag roughly against your throat.

“Gunna fuckin’ cum,” Rindou gasped, and he was fucking you harder, faster, faster than you thought was possible. His hips snapping up at a pace that had you clawing at Ran’s thighs trying to keep yourself steady, moaning and choking as Rindou fucked you into your third high.

You should be embarrassed, you thought to yourself distantly as another muffled cry around Ran’s cock signaled you were cumming again. You could feel the sticky mixture of your drool and Ran’s precum dribbling down your chin, your tears staining your face, you were shaking and trembling and weak, you couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, rendered to such a humiliating state and the worst part was you couldn’t even bring yourself to care, too caught up in how good they were making you feel.

You felt Rindou’s hips stutter against you, his grip tightening on your hips as he grinded you down on his cock, cumming deep inside you with a shameless moan of your name. You felt full, too full, and warm, you could feel Rindou’s cum leaking from around his cock, dripping down your thighs.

You were barely conscious, your third orgasm having knocked all thought and reason from your mind, the only sensations you could make sense of were the feelings of their hands sliding against your body and their cocks buried deep inside you.

Rindou hissed when Ran didn’t let him pull you off of his cock, the overstimulation evidently a bit too much as his hips jerked instinctively against yours, but Ran was more concentrated on keeping you in place so he could finish himself off.

You heard him let out a pretty moan, and that was the only warning you had before he was stuffing his cum right down your throat. You choked and spluttered, trying your best to swallow what you could but it was just too much.

Ran pulled out of you after shooting half a load down your throat, seemingly pleased with having you gagging over his cum, attempting and failing to swallow it all. He held you in place by the hair as he stroked his cock a few more times, head tilted back and a low groan escaping his lips as he painted your face and chest white, releasing the rest of his cum onto your body.

He let go of your hair and you lost the only support you had, falling limp on Rindou’s thighs, unable to gather the strength to move. You whimpered as Rindou pulled out of you, shifting you off from where you were still limp on top of him onto the bed next to them.

You felt hazy and exhausted, your body already felt sore and you were trembling on the blankets as Rindou and Ran talked over you but you couldn’t even make out what they were saying.

And while your mind wasn’t exactly functioning properly in the moment, you somehow had a distinct feeling that your “fuck them to get them out of your system” plan just wasn’t going to cut it.

#ran x reader #rindou x reader #ran smut #rindou smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev smut

3K notes · View notes

watermelonlovershigh · 11 months

Text

Each Harry Eras ... (You Can't Sleep Text Conversation)

AN: got the inspo to do this from tiktok. let me know if you think this is somewhat accurate or not.

This contains: mostly fluff, mentions of weed, implications of smut

{ fetus!harry - fratboy!harry - prince!harry - longhaired!harry - dunkirk!harry - fineline!harry - loveontour!harry - boyfriend!harry - fiancé!harry - husband!harry }

How each Harry era would react to when you tell them you can't sleep, through text.

{Fetus Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: baby i can't sleep : (

Harry: i'm sorry. snuggle with the stuffed bear i bought you last week and try and pretend i'm there to cuddle you in person. love and miss you :(

Y/N: ok i will. see you soon?

Harry: yep. my mum said i can come over tomorrow after my shift at the bakery. i'll even bring you that fancy bread you like.

Y/N: oh yes, please do. ok going to try and sleep now.

Harry: night.

{Frat Boy Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: H, i can't sleep. 😭

Harry: awe baby, i wish i was there to cuddle with you. we're on tour until the end of the month and then i get to come home for a few weeks.

Y/N: i wish it was sooner. 😔 you always give me the best cuddles when i can't sleep.

Harry: i know baby. try and spray some of my cologne on your pillow and maybe that'll help. love you. gtg. they're calling us back on stage now.

Y/N: ok. and have a great show.

{Prince Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: harry i can't sleep tonight. i miss you loads and wish you were here with me.

Harry: i'm sorry you can't fall asleep, love. you know i wish more than anything i was with you right now. breaks my heart when you can't sleep and then complain of how tired you are the next day. how about you take one of my t-shirts from my drawer and sleep with it on. i think that will help.

Y/N: ok i will.

Harry: send me a photo of you in the shirt you choose. wanna see how sexy you look in my clothes.

Y/N: k

Y/N: *photo* *standing in front of the mirror wearing his white t-shirt with the band Kiss on the front*

Harry: holy fuck. you look amazing babe. well sleep tight. i gotta take care of some business now.

(by business he didn't mean meetings. seeing you in his shirt did things to him and he needed to, you know, jerk one out.)

{LHH - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: H, i can't sleep tonight.

Harry: sorry to hear that. i know what can help. go to my special drawer and get some 🌿 to smoke. i know that stuff always makes you sleepy.

Y/N: ok, are you sure though? what if i have a bad reaction?

Harry: yes i'm sure. and you won't. just take a few hits. not too much. then get cozy in my bed. should knock you right out. but if you need anything just call me. i'll answer, alright.

Y/N: ok, yeah. i'll do that.

Harry: and you remember how to set up the blunt right?

Y/N: yes harry. i'm not 5.

Harry: okayyy, was just making sure. night. love you.

{Dunkirk Harry - fiancée!harry}

Y/N: harry i can't fall asleep.

Harry: awe baby, sorry to hear that. did you take your prescribed sleep pills?

Y/N: yes like 2 hours ago. and they're not working tonight.

Harry: i tell you what, give me about 10 minutes and i'll sneak away to facetime you. would you like that? i could sing you to sleep. you pick the song.

Y/N: omg please. and i pick sweet creature. your voice is so soft and relaxing when you sing that song.

Harry: ok 10 minutes, hang on darling.

{Fine Line Harry - husband!harry}

Y/N: babe, i can't fall asleep for the life of me. wish you were here to help. 😭

Harry: i wish i was there too, baby.

Harry: i know what will do the trick. touch yourself, love.

Y/N: WHAT?

Harry: i'm not messing about. touch that pretty pussy of yours. you know when you orgasm you get all sleepy. and i would touch you myself if i were there but since i'm not your hand will just have to do. or your vibrator. whatever you choose.

Y/N: fine... but, can you at least get me going.

Harry: sure 😏 *photo of his erect cock standing tall and proud with his ringed hand wrapped around the base*

Y/N: fuck. are you touching yourself too?

Harry: yep. couldn't not after picturing you rubbing that little clit of yours. got me going instantly.

{Love on Tour Harry - husband!harry}

Y/N: i can't sleep :(

Harry: why are you texting me this? i'm just getting out the shower. in OUR house. i'll be in there in just a second.

Y/N: didn't feel like yelling it to you.

Harry: let me brush my teeth and i'll come put you to sleep.

Y/N: mhm, yeah, how?

Harry: oh, i'll show you how alright. better be naked when i walk in.

Y/N: bet.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe14 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran

// @luv-flor7777 // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone // @goldenkhae // @lntwithharry // @shadowygladiatorlight // @manifestrry //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @stylesmygucci // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

549 notes · View notes

dayyydr3amm3rr · 6 months

Text

IMAGINE⚠️

Imagine...being in a relationship with Jordan Li and Marie Moreau, and getting into a fight with a student about your relationship

****************

Warnings: Cussing, homophobia, blood, supes going at it with fists and powers, mentions of taking pills (the kind Shetty prescribed Cate...not pills, pills)

Things to Know: Reader is female in this imagine, reader's powers are like Killer Frost's from The Flash. So once the Reader uses her powers, when she speaks, I imagine her voice is sort of layered, like there's more than one person speaking using the same voicebox. And the longer reader uses her powers, the more she looses herself and becomes more like Killer Frost, just like in The Flash, where Caitlin looses control and Killer Frost takes over. The bolded words are reader speaking, but it's more like Killer Frost speaking if that makes sense. Like, her voice doesn't sound like her.

Featuring Marie Moreau

****************

You didn't think. Your ears were ringing. All you heard was her words before your fist went flying towards her face. You could only stare towards your girlfriend whose eyes widened with surprise when she witnessed what you did. You couldn't hear her calling your name as you slid your backpack off your shoulder, letting it fall to the floor as you turned on your heel to face the girl who was sprawled on the floor groaning in pain as she held her cheek in her hand.

Your eyes began to glow a bright icy blue as your hands started gathering a cold mist that danced between your fingers. "Sorry, didn't hear you bitch...what was it you said?" A crowd had begun to form, some people that gathered decided to take out their phones and start recording. The girl who you punched sat up, still holding on to her bruising cheek as she glared at you. "You heard what I said you psycho dyke bitch! I said that it was fucking weird for three people to be fucking each other...unless one of you is the cuck. Are you that much of a fucking freak? You get off on watching people fuck—"

Your fist swung at her face again, this time, a satisfying crack was heard before blood began to spurt out of her nose. Good. You broke it. The girl let out a grunt as her face was knocked to the side, her body following after, hitting the floor hard by the force of your punch. It certainly didn't help that your hand was covered in a cold mist. Due to the freezing temperatures of your knuckles, when they made contact with her warm face, your knuckles left icy burns on her face. "Sorry...I just can't seem to hear you over the sound of you getting your ass kicked."

The crowd around you let out different sounds of amusement, with some laughing, and some "oooing" at the scene in front of them. You didn't pay them any mind. All you were focusing on was defending your lovers. Defending your relationship. "You broke my fucking nose you fucking freak!" The girl almost screeched. She was really glaring now. You tilted your head, smiling slowly as you got ready for a real fight. Marie cussed from behind you. She had to get through to you somehow. She had to stop this. You took a step towards the girl who was still on the floor, your hands out by your sides as the cold mist really began to flow.

The ground was becoming covered with it. The hallway was starting to get cold. Marie quickly took out her pocket knife and cut her palm with it, grunting as she did so. She had to stop you. She looked up at you, your back facing her, she would definitely have to apologize to you later for what she was about to do. She took a deep breath before shooting her hands out towards you. A bloody tendril shot towards your ankle, wrapping around it. You looked down at it in surprise. Marie pulled, expecting her tendril to trip you, cause you to fall to the floor, instead, it broke. The blood that was closest to her splattered on the floor in front of her, but the farther away the tendril was, the less splatter there was, and the more bloosicles that broke on the floor.

The blood that was around your ankle simply fell to the floor in shards, no damage done to you. Your core temp was well below freezing. You froze her blood tendril with ease. Marie watched as you took another step towards the girl before lifting her up by her collar. Marie let out another curse as she pulled out her phone. No one else was going to be of any help. But if there was one person who could help her get through to you, it was your partner. She sent a quick SOS to Jordan, praying that they would hurry. Marie heard you let out a pained cry and looked up in a panic.

She saw you slide a few feet away from her after you had landed on the floor, two small holes in your shirt, smoke coming out of them. But no blood. She looked up and noticed that the girl you had punched twice, now had glowing eyes. They were glowing a bright yellow. Of course the girl you picked a fight with would have a heat related power. "Bitch! That fucking hurt." Your voice was taking on an angry tone now. Jordan needs to hurry the fuck up. Marie couldn't use her powers unless she wanted her blood to freeze. Her powers were useless when it came to stopping you.

"Had to even the playing ground somehow. That reminds me...I need to repay you for my broken nose." The girl's voice was irritating you now. Due to her broken nose, her voice was sounding more higher pitched and nasally. "Good luck with that," you began, eyes glowing brighter, "but I can't wait to put you in your fucking place you fucking homophobic pig..." the girl's eyes glowed a bright yellow in response, and the two of you went at it. You shot icicles and cold blasts her way, she shot heat vision and balls of hot light at you. The crowd had to disburse in order to avoid getting hit in the crossfire.

Jordan didn't know what to expect when they received an SOS from their girlfriend. Usually SOSs from either you or Marie were never really urgent, typically it was because one of you was in the mood and wanted them to join in, or maybe for a food run. But something about this particular SOS had Jordan on edge. There was an ice cube and snowflake emoji right after the SOS. Jordan had an inkling of what the could mean. "Fuck..." Jordan cussed under their breath. Brink was teaching. They were in the middle of a lesson. But fuck. If Marie or you were in trouble...Jordan sprung out of their seat, grabbing their bag before bolting out of the class.

They left behind a surprised Brink and shocked class. Jordan Li never left class early. Jordan ran down the hallway, past lockers and rooms. They were about to pull out their phone to call Marie and ask where she and their girlfriend was when they had to duck out of the way of the flying girl who slammed into the wall before slumping onto the ground. The girl didn't look okay. She was covered in dirt and scratches, blood was caked under her nose and her face had what looked like open sores spread across it. She clothes were ripped in places and the girl was shivering.

Jordan suddenly shivered, feeling very cold all of a sudden. They looked over to find a hole in the wall, it was were the girl had come flying in from. They could see the glowing eyes of their girlfriend on the other side, her hands coming up to touch the sides of the hole, spreading ice across the walls. "Aww, don't pass out yet...I'm not finished with you." That was their girlfriend's voice...but it also wasn't. "Shit..." Jordan breathed out, eyes widening at seeing you creep through the hole, the cold mist still falling between your fingers.

They quickly switch to their other gender, their chest puffing out as they took a stand in between you and the girl you were fighting. "She's had enough Y/n!" Jordan states, keeping their eyes on you as you tilted your head at them. "Y/n isn't here at the moment, but I'll gladly take a message! As for her...she's had enough when I say she's had enough." If it were possible, Jordan would say your eyes glowed brighter at the thought of this girl. They could practically feel your anger towards her. Said girl had weakly pulled herself into a sit-up. Leaning heavily against the wall she had hit, hands spread out in front of her in an act of surrender.

"P-Please...I'm sorry! I didn't-I didn't mean anything I said!" She sniffled. You had tilted your head with a laugh, looking at the girl in disbelief. "Aww how cute. You think I care for your apologies? You should have thought of that before you decided to bad mouth her partners. She didn't even hesitate to let me take control after hearing what you said about them. And I'll be damned if my chance at playing in the sun goes to waste before I'm gone again." You took a threatening step forward, only stopping when Jordan only tilted their head, challenging you.

"Careful lover...she may like you, but I'm not as easily quelled by pretty brown eyes..." Jordan tilted their head at your words, a smirk crossing their face. "You think my eyes are pretty?" "I'll gouge them out with icicles..." Jordan brought their hands up, palms out, to show they weren't a threat. They remained in front of the girl who was barely conscious. They could see rips in your clothes, singed edges indicating this girl had gotten you a few times. Both of you were covered in bruises and blood. Jesus. Jordan and Marie would have their hands full patching you up after this.

Jordan noticed Marie making her way through the hole in the wall, staying quiet as she kept her eyes on you, concern being her main expression. "Y/n...?" Marie's voice caused you to pause, the glow in your eyes flickering in response to her voice. Jordan took notice and knew that you were still in there somewhere. They just had to bring you out. "Y/n...it's time to come back to us now...she's been beaten...she can't take anymore." Jordan said lowly, noticing your eyes flickering again. You blinked a few times, shaking your head as if to clear it, and let out a painful grunt.

The eyes that settled onto Jordan were back to glowing at full power, a harsh glare set into them. "I told you...Y/n isn't here at the moment...she's taking a well deserved nap." You snapped, forming icicles in your hands. Jordan's hands clenched into fists as their eyes trailed down to the sharp objects forming from your hands. "Now step aside. I'd hate to mess up that pretty face of yours." You threatened, grip tightening on the icicles you had formed. Don't hurt them...not them...You twitched slightly...that was her voice...well your voice. In her head. You were trying to gain back control. Your eyes began to flicker again, sometimes fading back to their normal color completely before going back to their icy blue glow.

Marie took your brief distraction to rush forwards and grab a hold of your wrist, flinching slightly at your cold skin. Jordan's eyes widened as they immediately reached out, taking a step forwards. "Marie!" Their voice was loud with panic, unsure of what could happen to her once she got too close to you. Her grip had you spinning to face her, a glare still in your eye as you made eye contact with your other half. The wrist that wasn't grabbed began to raise, icicle gleaming dangerously. Marie however kept calm, she had a glare of her own in her eye. "You could try to hurt me...but you won't." She stated, watching as the glow began to flicker once again.

She could see your hands trembling. "You claim not to like us...but you do." Marie's voice was definitive, almost authoritative. "You may not want to admit it...but you have feelings for me, for Jordan...you like us and you know you do..." Marie could hear the icicles drop and break against the floor. She kept eye contact with you, watching the internal battle for control show in your eyes. "Think about it. If you didn't like us...you wouldn't have defended our relationship. You beat up a girl because she bad mouthed me and Jordan...you defended us...someone who supposedly doesn't like us wouldn't do that."

You jolted, feeling hands wrap around your waist from behind, a head placing themself on your shoulder, short hair ticking your neck. "You had plenty of opportunities to attack me...but you didn't." Jordan had shifted, their voice more feminine and hands smaller on your waist. "It's okay to like us, Frosty." Even though they were serious, their tone held just a bit of teasing on it, a certain lightness to it that had you shaking your head. You were really trying to gain back control now. Marie took your other wrist, shifting her fingers a bit so she could grab a hold of your hands instead. "Sh...She'll put me away again...she'll take those pills and...I'll go to sleep...I don't want to go to sleep..."

Marie and Jordan shared a look. They had no idea you were taking power dampeners. "We'll talk to her..." Marie reassured. "But you have to let her have control again...she probably feels terrible for what she let happen...she needs us right now." Marie said gently, squeezing the hands she was holding. You let out a sigh, eyes barely glowing now. "You promise you'll talk to her? I don't want to go to sleep..." " We'll talk to her. We promise." Jordan spoke up, squeezing your waist gently. At their promise, you closed your eyes, the coldness began to fade away, skin warming back up to a normal temperature. You opened your eyes and they were back to their normal color, no glow in sight.

You leaned back against your partner heavily, the long use of power draining you. Jordan tightened their grip on you, letting you rest against them. "I'm sorry..." you whispered, eyes focusing on Marie, who didn't let go of your hands. Marie shook her head gently. "No need to apologize. You were defending us...it was kind of hot." She teased, giving you a smile. Jordan snorted from over your shoulder, but held you close. "We're going to have to talk about it..." they said, giving Marie a look. "Power dampeners?" They added, tilting their head to look over at you. "That can wait. Right now, she needs rest...and she needs to get to the infirmary...she's not looking too hot." Marie said, looking over to the girl who was currently passed out against the wall.

Author's Note: Part 2 anyone? 😏

#jordan li x reader #Jordan li #gen v imagines #gen v amazon #derek luh #london thor

219 notes · View notes

danieyells · 25 days

Text

@mayoigotokurousagi TIME FOR OUR FAVORITE FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER INSPIRED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I mean. Maybe there's another you're into. Idk. I like Jiro. He's so. . .blunt. I'm so curious about him, I really really cannot wait until we get the Mortkranken chapter.

also, uh, brief content warning for a mention of assisted suicide? It's only the first line I post, if you feel the need to avoid that.

No Affinity Required

"They said they wanted to die, so I prescribed them what they needed. I don't see the point of discussing ethics after the fact." あちらさんが死にたいと言うので、必要な薬を処方したまでです。今更倫理を持ち出されても、困りますよ

Hey. Buddy. Jiro. That's fuckin' dark dude. This is why you don't joke about wanting to kill yourself. Someone will take it seriously. Jiro will just hand you cyanide pills, a bottle of water, and direct you to a hospital bed to die in. Like jesus christ.

"I save lives that can be saved. It's part of my job to decide the order of priority though." 救える命は救いますよ。まあ、そこに優先順位をつけるのがこちらの仕事なので

"part of my job is to decide if your life is worth saving" IS ALSO A VERY DARK THING TO SAY. I love that his default lines are all very dark and callous. It kind of drives home a dichotomy between how he feels about just anybody and how he feels about you. I also like that he's just. . .kind of dark and gloomy and like ASPECTS OF HIM ARE VERY UNPALATABLE. Like I'm sure there are a lot of people who see those lines and think "that's gross why would anyone like him he's the worst" and THAT'S A GOOD KIND OF CHARACTER TO HAVE ESPECIALLY AS A LOVE INTEREST okay moving on

"One of our patients is thrashing around again? That's inconvenient. I'll administer a shot." また患者が暴れてるんですか？はあ……面倒くさいですね。１本打っておきますよ

jiro stabbing you with a sedative filled needle like 'stop moving. you are annoying.'

Affinity 2

"I was in a prolonged coma, so I haven't fully recovered yet. It's been a long time since I ate anything." 俺、長いこと昏睡状態だったんで、まだ本調子じゃないんですよ。飯なんて、しばらく食ってませんし

i wonder when he woke up. it must have been a few months ago at most.

Affinity 4

"I'm about to receive my medication. It should take approximately one hour. Are you going to wait for me?" ああ、今から投薬の時間なんです。多分１時間くらいかかると思いますけど、待ちますか？

Affinity 5

"I attend classes every day since Yuri does, but sometimes they mark me as absent. I'm supposed to reply when they say my name? I didn't know that." 佑理に付き合って毎日授業に出てるんですけど、時々欠席扱いになってて。返事が必要？　知らなかったな

"yeah you're supposed to let them know you're there." "i am one of the largest people in the room at any given time. that seems unnecessary." also it's cute that he only goes to class because Yuri does, but also he doesn't learn anything from it since he studied it all independently lol

Affinity 6

"The blood? I believe one of the wounds on my stomach tore. I'll have to get Yuri to suture it." ああ、この血ですか？　さっきから腹の傷が開いてるみたいなんです。佑理に縫ってもらわないとな

Affinity 7

"What's the purpose of educational facilities like this? You can learn everything you need through self-study." こういった教育施設って、なんのためにあるんでしょうね？　勉強なら自分ですればいいだけですし

Affinity 8

"Who is that noisy blond person? He runs away whenever he sees me. That's rude, isn't it?" 時々見かける、うるさい黄色の人は何者なんです？　俺の顔を見るといつも逃げるんです。失礼ですよね？

i love the 'isn't it?' like he doesn't know normal social convention but he's pretty sure you're not supposed to run from people like that.

Affinity 9

"You don't have to mind me. Go ahead and eat. Even in childhood I never really had an attachment to food, clothing, or shelter." 俺のことは気にせず、飯食ってください。元々、ガキの頃から衣食住にあまり執着がないので

hey jiro that's uh that's kinda fucking depressing you good?

Affinity 10

"Yuri's holed up in the lab, so I'm going out. If he comes looking for me, tell him I went to bed." 佑理が研究室に籠ってるので、今のうちに出かけてきます。もし俺を探してたら、寝たと言ってください

Wouldn't Yuri just check your bed and not find you there though??? Also when will you sleep???? like i know he doesn't realize a week of allnighters isn't normal but jfc

Affinity 11

"Your face looks terrible. Come over here and inhale this. They're mild smelling salts. They'll wake you up." あなた、ひどい顔ですね。ちょっとこっち来て、これ嗅いでください。軽い気付け薬です。目が覚めますよ

Affinity 13

"I can just manage to ingest water, so I brew herbal tea as an indulgence. Would you like some too?" 辛うじて水分なら取れるので、嗜好品としてハーブティーを淹れるんですよ。あなたも飲みます？

Affinity 14

"Yuri wouldn't get up, so I was about to give up on getting my morning medication. He got up after the ninth time he used the snooze button though." 佑理がなかなか起きないので、朝は投薬を諦めようかと思いましたよ。９回目のスヌーズで起きましたけど

Yuri and Jiro, like Rui and Haru, need healthy sleep schedules please.

Affinity 15

"What's this? A rice ball? I suppose I might be able to eat some of it." なんですか？　これ。おにぎり？　まあ、少しくら��なら食べれるかもしれませんが……

can't you only eat fluids. . .are you gonna throw that up later. . . .

Affinity 16

"You already had tea at Frostheim? The tea I make tastes better though, so please drink it anyway." フロストハイムで紅茶を飲んできたんですか？　まあ、俺の方が美味く淹れられますから、飲んでください

lmao the mortkranken boys really do not appear to have a great opinion of frostheimers!!! "you had tea at--pfffff nah their tea sucks ass drink mine instead."

Affinity 17

"I enjoy being alone. The noise doesn't really bother me when I'm reading though. Can I go now?" ひとりの時間は好きですよ。まあ、本を読んでいる時は、周囲の喧噪も気になりません。もういいですか？

Affinity 18

"What am I doing? I'm making confections. I'm used to making precise measurements when preparing medications, and it's quite similar to that." 今ですか？　製菓をしてるんです。計量は薬の調合で慣れてるので、まあ、似たようなものです

jiro makes cupcakes and candies and stuff. . .he can't even enjoy them though. . . . .

Affinity 19

"See you tomorrow. ...What? You're the one who told me I should say that while smiling." また明日。 ……なんですか？こう言って笑えばいいと、あなたが言ってたんじゃないですか

i love lines where it's like 'you told me to do this so now i'm doing it.' especially when the pc is shocked when they actually do it lolol

Affinity 20

"We're doing a complete check up today, so please change into these. ... Do you need me to help you undress?" 今日は精密検査なので、この検査着に着替えてください。 ………… 脱げないなら、脱がしましょうか？

strip faster bitch

Affinity 21

"You want to know why I started studying anomalous infectious diseases? I don't know. I just became knowledgeable about them at some point and kept going." なぜ怪異伝染病の研究を始めたか？さあ、気がついたら詳しくなってたので。何となく続けてるだけです

Affinity 22

"My wounds often tear so I've told Yuri deep dermal suturing would be more effective than simple interrupted, but he won't listen to me." よく傷口が開くんで、結節縫合ではなく真皮縫合の方がいいと言ってるのに、佑理が聞かないんですよね

I get the feeling Yuri doesn't listen to most people. . . .

Affinity 23

"Yuri's combat skills are poor, so I have to protect him. If he dies, there won't be anyone left who can treat me." 佑理は戦闘が下手なので、俺が守るしかないんです。あの人が死ぬと、俺を治せる人がいなくなるんですよ

"if he dies i die so i'm just kinda protecting him because i have to." kind of an oof lmao

Affinity 24

"It's been a long time since I had a family, so I don't know what you're supposed to do in these situations. Could you teach me?" 俺には長いこと家族がいないので、こういう時、どうすればいいかわからないんです。教えてくれません？

GET FAM-ZONED HAHA aaaaAAAAAA HE SEES YOU AS FAMILY AND HE WANTS TO TREAT YOU THE WAY HE'S SUPPOSED TO TREAT FAMILY. . . . . . ;0; just be yourself jiro we love you as you are, dark and morbid and a little distant but actually quite sweet--

Affinity 25

"There's a high probability that your curse is related to my field of research.

It's a problem for me if you die."

あなたの呪いは、俺の研究分野に関係している可能性が高い。あなたを死なせるわけにはいかないんですよ

normally i don't share the ones that aren't kind of sweet but like. . .the bluntness and distance in this one is so perfect for Jiro haha ESPECIALLY AFTER THE "I WANT TO TREAT YOU LIKE FAMILY" ONE BEFORE IT. . .he went from being kind of sweet to being like "if you die it'll be a problem." and not even in a tsundere way just 'it matters to me if you die for academic purposes.

Spring

"I'm going to see some flowers on Yuri's orders. Do you want to come? I'll be harvesting mandrakes." 今から佑理の指示で花を見に行くんです。あなたも一緒に行きますか？マンドラゴラの採取ですが

"Yuri told me to take a break so I'm gonna go work near some flowers i guess."

"Ha ha ha ha! I observed Yuri fighting the urge to fall asleep during class today. Would you like to see the photos?" はははは！今日は授業中、ずっと眠気と戦っている佑理を観察してたんですよ。この写真、見ますか？

i really wish it were during the hours this one can play because i wanna record it lolol Jiro smiling and laughing because Yuri's trying not to fall asleep is so precious. Tiny little humanization for our monster boy.

Summer

"Good, today's temperature matches the forecast. I'll be starting a new experiment this afternoon, but the temperature regulation is difficult. It should be fun." 今日の気温は……予報通りですね。午後から新しい実験の着手をするのに、温度管理が大変で。楽しみです

temperature regulation experiments are fun! i'm glad Jiro enjoys what he does.

"A dare? Okay, I'll do it with you. I've always wanted to try screaming in fear." へえ、肝試しですか。いいですよ、付き合います。恐怖で叫ぶ経験を、一度くらいしてみたいので

"a dare" isn't really a good translation here--肝試し is a "test of courage", an activity usually done on summer evenings where you go someplace scary with your friends to overcome fear together! Or something like that. It's most often done in summer because that's when it's believed there are more like. . .supernatural occurrences? several other characters' summer lines mention more anomalies in Japan in the summer as a result of these beliefs. Either way it's cute that he's like 'oh. that sounds cool. i hope it'll make me experience fear.' I want him to scream in an exaggerated way, just SHRIEKING for the sake of it, not even because he's really that scared just "this feels like the appropriate situation for screaming :)" lmao

"Ha ha ha ha! Oh, sorry. I tried letting the stag beetles I caught for an experiment fight, and it was funnier than I expected." はははは！　ああ、すいません。採取の時に捕まえたカブトムシ同士を戦わせたら、想像以上に面白くて

i feel like that's something that comes up now and then as like. a thing young japanese boys do. which makes jiro kind of childish in a way which is super charming? it sounds to me like he didn't have much of a childhood. so i'm happy he can explore it now and have fun.

Autumn

"I don't understand why you would go somewhere without a purpose. Why would you go to a mountain if you didn't need to harvest something?" 行楽ですか？　いえ、単純に何が目的か理解できないんです。採取もせず、山を歩くんですか？

mods, show him the beauty of nature.

"I went to the botanical garden to get some ingredients and I was given these yams. Do you like candied yams?" さっき植物園に原料をもらいに行ったらサツマイモをもらったんです。スイートポテトは好きですか？

"A lot of people in Mortkranken dislike exercise.The sporting clubs in Darkwick must be made up of people from other houses." うちの寮は、体を動かすことが嫌いな人が多いですね。学内でスポーツをしてるのも、他寮の人ですよね？

i am once again asking why i was put in fuckin frostheim--

"I read books every day, not just in the fall. I like medical journals best. I don't remember what made me start reading them." 秋に限らず、本は毎日読みますよ。特に医学の専門書は好きですね。いつからなのかは……忘れました

Winter

"Hurk...! Phew... I'm fine... The change in temperature between indoors and outdoors this time of year causes my physical condition to deteriorate more frequently." うっ……はあ……大丈夫です……この季節は室内外の寒暖差のせいで体調を崩しやすいので……

i remember someone i followed also gags when going from a cold place to a warm one lmao. . . .

"I found an anomalous plant that can only grow in extremely low temperatures and successfully created a medication with it. It was just a coincidence though." 極低温のみ自生する怪異植物を見つけたので、試しに原薬にしてみたら上手くいきました。まあ、偶然です

'i made a medical breakthrough but it was just an accident' is the medical equivalent of 'i'm not a model'

"Streptococcal infections are on the rise. They're spread through droplet and contact infection. Have you been taking precautions?" 溶連菌の感染が増えてますね。飛沫感染と接触感染が経路になります。あなた、ちゃんと予防してます？

jiro says WEAR YOUR FUCKIN' MASK.

His birthday

"Whose birthday? Oh, mine? I forgot. Did Yuri leak my medical records?" 誕生日？　誰のです？ああ、俺のですか、忘れてました。カルテ、佑理が漏らしたんですか？

"did yuri fuckin dox me--"

Your birthday

"Oh, it's your birthday today, isn't it? What should I do? I suppose I'll go to your room later." ああ、あなた今日、誕生日じゃないですか。何をすればいいんですか？まあ、後でそちらの部屋に行きます

jiro no you don't have to do that you are moving so fast WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING FAMILY WAIT--

Valentine's Day "What's this packet? I can't eat solids. You made it? Oh. I can probably eat some of it then." なんですか？　この包み。俺、固形物は食べれませんけど…… なんだ。あなたの手作りなら少しはいけます

bby if you can't eat it don't make yourself sick with it. . . .

White Day

"Here. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, something handmade for something handmade. Eat it here and tell me what you think." どうぞ。目には目を、歯には歯を、手作りには手作りをと思いまして。ここで食べて評価を教えてください

April Fool's Day

"Yuri's kicking up a fuss and saying I deceived him? I don't remember doing it. It doesn't matter though." 佑理が、俺に騙されたって騒いでるんですか？　そんなことしましたっけ。まあ、どっちでもいいですけど

i wonder if he actually pulled a prank and he's just hiding it really well. . .or if Yuri is just paranoid lol Yuri's for the record:

"Hmph, did you honestly think you could fool me? I won't fall for your cheap tricks. I've already been fooled by Jiro seven times today!" ふんッ。貴様も僕を騙すつもりで？その手には乗りません。今日はすでに、次郎くんに７回騙されたのでね

Halloween

"I don't know much about Halloween. I can't eat candy though, so I have to play a trick on you, right?" ハロウィン？　よく知りませんが、俺、お菓子は食べれないので。あなたに悪戯すればいいんですよね

Christmas

"This tree? It's a fir tree. Yuri told me to get one, so I cut it down and carried it back here. My special artifact doesn't cut very well."

この木ですか？　佑理に言われて、モミの木を切って持ってきました。俺の特質怪具、切れ味が悪いんです

THERE WE GO. sorry that one took so long!! He's actually a bit of aq goof but his no-affinity lines make him come off as extra cold and cruel. He just has to get used to you!! But I think it has a very charming contrast. AFTER THIS IS JIN! Tomorrow night maybe? it's almost midnight and i have to wake up early again and my insomnia kicked my ass last night. . . .

#jiro kirisaki #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker spoilers #danie yells at tokyo debunker

76 notes · View notes