wowie it’s been DECADES hello friends to preface i am not coming back but i wanted to drop in and update yall because guess who just completed her first year of law school 🤩 that’s right 🤩 it’s ME. one step closer 🙏 i have a few weeks to relax until my summer job starts

but the REAL reason i popped back on is to show you guys THIS

she’s so magnificent. i want to get a better flower but 🙏 i’m happy w the new set for now. i had to show yall because id been talking about saving for her since last june and you needed to know i finally got her

now the grind for columbina begins 🙏 i’ll see you guys again once she has been obtained

okay well, i logged back in, obviously, because there are clearly some things that need to be addressed and have been taken out of context. just because i’m leaving doesn’t mean i should sit here and let my name be smeared. 

to preface this, anantaru and i had a discussion where we came to a congenial understanding of what happened, there's been an acknowledgment on both sides of misunderstanding and believing distorted rumors and people that we probably should not have, but i’m still going to give a full explanation as to the background of everything so you all can understand and come to your own opinions. plus, if there's going to be a call-out post directed majorly at me made, i want an official address of it.

please do NOT send any hate their way, we have ended this discussion on good terms and have worked out what exactly was stirring this discourse between us. (spoiler alert: there was a third-party shit-stirrer that we both considered a decent friend at the time!)

i don’t really need a reason to block someone, and i shouldn’t have to explain it, but i did and i will again but more explicitly this time: @/anantaru made a post that i did not like. it’s as simple as that. it was a post about genshin characters and sex icks and one of the lines were “venti: too drunk.” i’m not anti-dc, but there are topics that i am sensitive about because i was sa’d in my freshman year of college—that is something i have talked about on this blog before, many of you who've been around since my tr era are aware of it. i acknowledged, and tee acknowledged, that this was probably a joke and was not meant to be taken the way i took it, but the aloof/casual way it was mentioned without any TW of implied dubcon, and without acknowledging that it was at least dubcon and could border on noncon in certain interpretations made me uncomfortable. i don’t mind seeing it as long as i’m warned. if it was tagged properly, i would have moved on without much care, but it wasn’t, so i was scrolling through the post snorting and was hit with that and i was made uncomfortable because i didn't like how it was just being passed off as an ick, and i blocked. there was no reason for it to go beyond what it did, yet we are here. anantaru mentioned that if you frequent their blog, you would know that they often write about venti and reader being drunk—i don’t frequent their blog, in fact this was my first encounter with them being reblogged onto my dash by shared mutuals, so it rubbed me wrong. thats the end of it. 

i’m not sure the exact timing, but i believe it was two(?) weeks after this, when i reblogged an unpopular opinion’s post with an opinion that i thought was fairly harmless. sure, looking back on it i could have phrased it better, i’m not going to deny that, but pinpointing my one opinion out of the hundreds of others that were objectively far more controversial than mine and crucifying me for it is uncalled for. you guys know very well that i do not have the time or energy to sift through random people’s blogs to look for minors. every once in a while i glance at the notes of shit posts that happen to be on my dash and i’d be a bit startled at finding a minor in them because i still do think you should at least try to catch minors who interact with shit posts because that’s the easiest way to find them. but i was working at a medium sized firm for a year and a half at the time of the post and i am currently in law school, i do not have the time to be psychotic about people’s likes and interaction, and even if i did have the time?? i’ve always gotten incredible interaction from y’all lmfao, imposing the idea that i’m jealous is entirely inane. i do still stand by the fact that my words were twisted, i was made out, more than once and by more than one person after the next bullet point's events, to have been some psycho that stalks peoples’ posts for excuses as to why they get interaction when that is simply not the case. 

regardless, after this incident, anantaru made a vague post that was almost directly quoting my tags from the reblog and was thus sent to me because many shared mutuals put together that it was about my tags. this was upsetting for multiple reasons 1) i had blocked anantaru by this point so i felt a bit violated that i was being vagued for something by someone that i blocked. 2) i started getting hate anons en masse after it, some of which were very unnecessarily explicit. needless to say, i was very upset and made a subpost on my main account after noticing i’ve been blocked on ao3 because 1) i was already upset and i didn’t even know why anantaru seemed to have it out for me much less go to the point of blocking on ao3 which leads into my next point and 2) i thought it was a bit ridiculous because the only thing blocking on ao3 stops is people from commenting on posts and i clearly was not going to comment on a post of someone who i was not on good terms with. reasoning aside, anantaru can block who they want and i was out of line for making comments about that in particular. i’ll admit that, and apologize for it. 

a screenshot was taken from my personal—not a good moment for me, obviously, but anantaru claimed in their post that it was about them with no evidence. i dmed them about this in particular because i was genuinely confused, we spoke about it, i offered them proof that it was not them because i had a discussion about this post with a close friend at the time of posting it and they believed me. i will attach screenshots below (cropped because there's no reason to attach the whole conversation) because i feel as if this accusation was rather extreme and i wish it would’ve been removed because it was obviously not my best moment. an explanation for the post itself, i was upset over plagiarism accusations regarding something i put my heart and soul into and then seeing the same person that made them consistently on my dash just straight up triggered me, for lack of a better word lol, so i made a vent on my personal. how it got misconstrued as to be anything about anantaru is baffling to me but i suppose that's a question for the subject of our next bullet point. i don’t want to go into detail about the accusations in themselves because i don’t want people to send the actual person who it’s about hate. regardless, that post was not about anantaru, i have never called them a cunt nor have i ever called them a gatekeepy cunt, though i’m beginning to think i should probably remove the word from my vocabulary atp, i use it far too flippantly. anyway, i do not know them well enough to formulate any sort of opinion like that. aside from that, in our discussion we came to an understanding over it and i wish that would have been cleared on their blog as wel. so i'll attach here (i crossed some out because i don't want to breach any boundaries regarding what anantaru might be comfortable sharing but i do think it's fair for me to want this particular point fully cleared as it was a bold accusation remaining up):

5. in our discussion, we came to realize that we have/had a shared mutual who was fostering discourse between the two of us. many of you will recognize her as audri aka alucrds, who has supposedly left tumblr by this point—i suspected this and anantaru has confirmed it while we were talking. audri was sending anantaru my posts claiming that they were about anantaru, but i will stress that the only actual discussions i ever had with anyone about anantaru was with tee and eris about that initial joke because it had upset me at the time, it never extended beyond that and it certainly was never with audri. my only conversation with audri that mentioned anantaru at all was probably around a week or so after i made the post in point 3, when audri asked me about ao3 blocking in casual conversation and i offhandedly mentioned that anantaru had blocked me on there—audri was a close friend at that point and iirc, she had actually told me right after that that anantaru had her blocked on tumblr, i had no idea that they'd been mutuals at all but either way, it was an offhanded comment that led to nowhere (or so i thought LOL). looking back on it, it was clearly her baiting me into giving her information about the post i made a week or so prior because after talking with anantaru, they explained that they got an anonymous message claiming that i was shit talking them for blocking them on ao3 and the only person that could have put together that the vent post from point 3 was about anantaru was audri herself. audri continued to evidently cherry-pick random vent posts of mine to show anantaru and claim that they were about them. why? i wish i could tell you. i considered audri a decent enough friend, and though she had her fair share of issues with mutuals and other friends of mine, i never really thought she’d stoop to this with me. but i guess there’s really no explaining people who thrive in discourse.

6. my comment in my most recent post about being harassed on ao3 and in comments and in asks was not about them at all. i thought it was very clearly about heliotropes (my dottore series) and pressure to update from certain readers, but i'm clarifying that now.

7. i never intended on directly addressing this, which is why i did not directly name anantaru in my post, if i’d known at the time that tee was going to end up addressing all of this, i would’ve just been straight up with all of it.

anyway, i think that’s all, hopefully this will be the last post for real as i am tired mentally and now i am also physically sleep deprived. i've been up since three so forgive me for typos and grammar errors. this all has gone on for over a year. sorry for all the discourse on y'all's dash, wish i could have left with a bit more grace than this. rumors have been blown out of proportions and blindly believed, things have been taken out of context, such is life. i made my fair share of mistakes on my personal blog with my vents, others have admitted and owned up to their own mistakes, some will never admit to their mistakes. such is life. it moves on, always does. i know all of y'all are smart enough to come to your own opinions.

over and out, sorry again, and logged out (hopefully for real this time),

cat

I literally cannot believe I have to come back and say this, but I’m genuinely sick and tired of this. First off, someone is going around telling people that I blocked them because they don’t block minors and more wildly, that I search through people’s likes to find minors because I’m jealous of interaction ??? 1) that is literally not what I said so I don’t know why you’re twisting my words and 2) I blocked them because they made a joke about a genshin character that rubbed me wrong because it bordered on a sexual assault joke and it made me uncomfortable, joke or not. Lol. This was literally over a year ago and they’re still going around saying it for some crazy reason.

Secondly, I moved blogs because of the insanity of this one—the drama that people keep dragging me into & the pressure that’s coming from my fics. I know a lot of y’all are cool with waiting but there’s just too many people that get nasty when I don’t update and I’ve lost the motivation for it because of it—sorry about that, maybe one day I’ll come back to it but it won’t be for a while. I turned off asks, they went to my comments. I turned off comments, they went to my Ao3 to harass me there, it’s just nonstop. Not to mention the constant stream of hate and discomfort caused by being dragged into a drama I had NO involvement with + on top of what the blog above is going around spreading for no good reasoning ??

This’ll be my last post here, I just can’t handle people’s childish issues and constant need for drama, not ever but especially not during law school. I wasn’t going to come back at all but now it’s starting to bleed into my new blog which was supposed to be a safe space for me to relax during my second semester + I figured I’d give y’all a proper explanation & goodbye.

To the person that I trusted with my new blog only for you to go around spreading it to people, just know you’re literally the worst type of person lol.

To everyone else that supported me on this blog & through my first sem of law school, perhaps we shall meet again one day 🫡

current mood: rewatching the choso vs itadori fight to drag myself out of depression

every time i come back after classes and studying and memoing to message my friends back i feel like i’m a soldier returning home from war

open memo szn is actually slaughtering me i have to restart it for the 6th time and now i’m stressed bc it’s due in a week

but anyway does anyone wanna see my kashimo comm i adore it

if more than one option just pick the one that's most often

furina is so marina coded and i live for it

Since October 7, 2023, Israel has dropped 18,000 tons of bombs on the Gaza Strip. This is roughly twice the explosive force of the bomb used in World War II to destroy Hiroshima, Japan. Over 32,000 individuals have been injured, and at least 9,061 Palestinians have been killed; men, women, and children who are innocent. We cannot stay silent because these are actual numbers and actual people who, despite 75 years of resistance to injustice, are still being violently removed from their homes, subjected to ethnic cleansing, and colonized.

Continue talking about it.

the sheer hatred that male jjk fans have for nanako and mimiko is something that needs to be studied

Choso with his hair down >>

when takaba lasts against kenjaku longer than kashimo lasted against sukuna 🥲 you deserved better king

Jsjsjsje solliieee how about a tiny choso? I've been exposed to too many fine fanarts and manga panels of him lately :3

pocket sized choso for u

there is a fucking MOUSE IN MY ROOM WHAT DO THESE CREATURES WANT FROM ME I HAVE NO FOOD FOR THEM HOW DO I GET IT OUT OF HERE

😐

im so annoyed bc my legal writing professor has had our closed memos for like a month and hasn't given us our grades back for them yet. our open memo is due in less than two weeks, and he just emailed and was like "sorry! i'll have them back probably at the end of the week" like ??? there are FIFTEEN of us in that class, are u for real like he knows we need this for our open memo