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wosemi-sama · 2 months

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and the crowd went mild 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 also no chara dividers im lazy rn

these r so short id add more but im rushing rn sorry lmfao 😭😭😭

intended lowercase!

misc. obm hcs

LUCIFER

wakes up at the ass crack of dawn every single morning.

wears those old man pjs. with the long hat and fuzzy slippers and gown. you know the one.

most bitter coffee you've ever had in your life how he can drink it is astonishing.

his bed, his mattress, his pillows are all as hard as rock how does this man SLEEP.

sleeps like hes the corpse at the funeral hes that one image

MAMMON

will pull you into a headlock and call it a hug.

LEVIATHAN

guy who had mountain dew and cheeto dust in his veins instead of blood. guy who marinates in his room for two months straight. guy who- (i am immediately shot dead).

did a collab with the anti-lucifer league to create a 100k words dialuci fic to piss off lucifer (dont worry about him he got paid in anime and tsl merch).

TRULY believes he is the #1 tsl fan. and also #1 ruri fan.

wimp who VOLUNTARILY makes you cosplays if you are a cosplayer or even if you aren't. it will happen.

vtuber fan. he was like "hey i wanna be a streamer but i dont wanna show my face but i also want to be an anime boy! wait-" and now hes a vtuber.

has accidentally referred to all of his brothers as "chat" at least once. hes never recovering from that btw.

SATAN

cannot stop annotating books he reads for the life of him.

all of his books are just filled to the brim with sticky notes because all he does is annotate.

once he has a crush he will start imagining him and them in the same scenarios as the characters in romance novels he read. (loser alert!!)

sneaking a new cat into hol like once a week (he never succeeds btw).

ASMODEUS

oh boy his room REEKS of perfume and body spray.

"i sprayed my new perfume in every nook and cranny! smells so floral and elegant, don't you think?" (it smells like a bath and body works threw up.)

surprisingly plays the trumpet and BOY is he loud. bro is absolutely blasting those notes.

worst driver ever btw.

BEELZEBUB

freckles all over!! like a lot. *im not beating the insane allegations*

ate like 27 family size dorito bags, 30 dollars worth of taco bell, and four sprites in one sitting and he still hasnt recovered.

sleeps. like a lot. not as much as belphie but enough to be considered an eepy guy.

BELPHEGOR

will randomly grab every blanket and pillow he can get his hands on and make a nest in the common room if he's up to it. and then have everyone make a dog pile in it just so they can hang out and be silly.

will NOT clean it up afterwards. lucifer will tell him to and his only response will be "im tired..."

freckles like beel too i think theyre silly.

9829364 cow plushies. (theyre all from lucifer)

SOLOMON

will randomly gaslight people for no reason

"hey did you do the homework"

homework? what homework? there was homework? my, what even is homework? never heard of that.

"hey, i heard of this animal from the human world called a giraffe! can i see a picture?"

what? what's a giraffe? oh, those!! yeah, they're just myths. they're not real. purely fiction!!

yk that one post about tumblr funnyman solomon. he is a tumblr funnyman to me. he confidently posts his exploded spaghetti and gets 10k notes i think.

SIMEON

has a book club with satan and solomon. :)

probably writes oneshots of the brothers on tumblr idfk man (sorry to the simeon fans i write like nothing on this guy bro).

LUKE

bodily six ("but didnt the devs say hes ten?" shut up. /j)

along with that, also shorter than in canon. (since hes. yk. a first grader. that BOY is not five foot hes one sauce packet long dude.)

favorite store in the human world is walmart. i like to think his human world outfit is all exclusively from walmart bc thats funny i think.

DIAVOLO

hands of STEEL. he tries to grab your wrist and he nearly crushes it by accident.

ice cream!! he loves it :) his favorite is strawberry btw.

also this boy is NOT a himbo hes a smart man.

needs like a hug and some sleep and also a friend this boy works too much!!

BARBATOS

short. like really short. especially according to devildom standards since most demons are super tall.

"but isn't he six feet?" not in my heart.

somehow always making tea for some reason?? if he's not making tea then he's making pastries.

my boy does not SLEEP. hasn't slept since the sun has been birthed and doesn't plan on ever doing it.

#a letter from yours truly!💌#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #not tagging sim i dont wanna disappoint the fans lmao

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p4nishers · 2 months

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i don't know if you even posted about it but

which discworld books have you read already?? and maybe you have some favourites like I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT IT'S NIGHT WATCH but what if im absolutely wrong..please share

anon i will lay my life down for you i've been waiting for this for so so long (literally since november. but whatever)

so. from the rincewind series i've only read the last continent and unseen academicals bc reasons. one of them being is that i am weirdly passionate about the ridcully/bursar ship only i care about and they're developed enough characters by those books for me to actually have something to ship. i can't think of other reasons but. they're there definitely i promise. oh yeah unseen academicals was by FAR my fav from the two but i found the ending a little eh so i dont consider that one a FAVORITE favorite. but its still insanely fucking good.

then i've read all of the witches novels except equal rites and that's only cause i was listening to the audiobook and then i forgot where i left off and i just didn't finish it. anyway the clear winner for me is and always will be carpe jugulum and it's DEFINITELY one of my top 3 discworld books. like i know you didn't ask for this to be a hundred pages long but fuck me that BOOK. i could write ESSAYS. also wyrd sisters is a fucking masterpiece and i wont hear a WORD against it. thank you.

all of the death books expect thief of time and i honestly i just dont want to end the series yet so i'm still putting it off. give me some time. favorites from that hmm well hogfather DUH but also reaper man. listen man it's about found family it's about bill door it's about death giving his TIME for a little girl it's about I NEVER WORE A CROWN YOU NEVER WANTED TO RULE it's THE FIRST FUCKING TIME WE MEET REG SHOE also the wizards are fucking GREAT in that one i just love it. not top 3 material but definitely a comfort read.

from the watch books i've read up to thud! which i'm still half way thru bc i'm not ready to move on from night watch like i had to listen to it on audiobook two days after i've first read it bc it just sucks you in man. does NOT let go. and yeah you're so so so right and true about night watch being one of my absolute favorites that book changed me as a person i'm still definitely not over it. like at all. also feet of clay and fifth elephant will always ALWAYS be my children and have my heart for obvious reasons (cheery. its cheery).

from the moist books i only have raising steam left and yes again im putting it off bc i dont wanna finish the series whatever dont look too deep into my issues

uh. shit this is so fucking long ok sorry. from tiffany novels i've read up to wintersmith and so far the wee free men is my absolute favorite i cried so much reading that book it's embarrassing.

small gods was my very first discworld novel and let me fucking tell you man absolutely HILARIOUS place to start when you dont know shit about the world building that's all im gonna say. also it's just so fucking good it's insane to me like yeah maybe it's not as funny as the others but the way terry wrote about faith and gods and devotion and the church and ugghh. (sidenote i read an brutha/om fic a few weeks ago that changed my fucking LIFE im being so so serious rn that was a masterpiece)

and i think the only one left is the truth which is in my opinion one of the best written discworld books from what i've read and definitely in my top 3. like otto chriek would be enough to convince me and THEN there's mr tulip's backstory and william confronting his dad (man that scene where william gives his father thousands of dollars to pay back for what he "cost" him over his life. anyone got reminded of that one ladybird scene? yeah.) and it's just like the best thing you've ever read.

im so sorry this got so long im insane i hope u got some kind of answer out of it

#the problem is carpe jugulum and night watch and the truth are all 1. for me i couldn't ever choose #discworld #gnu terry pratchett #night watch #carpe jugulum #the truth #terry pratchett #idk if u want a number but i think i've read like 23. which is insane there's so little left im rocking back and forth and back and forth

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nikomedes · 2 years

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(i am sending you writing asks) can i get a uhhhhh... number #1, #13, #19, and a #23 please thank you

[drive thru speaker crackle] ask machine broke

jk thank u luke!!! i am sorry this is so fucking long

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

so adhd is a disorder where--

im joking but uh. off the top of my head:

fallout 3 mlw/charon fic that i just. have put way too much time into mostly as a challenge to myself to understand the ship (13k+ words)

disco elysium time loop fic which is so close to done. its short and sweet. CAN I CROSS THE FINISH LINE? no (4k words)

pokemon swsh trainer/hop fanfic about their friendship during the gym challenge as reflected on by hop as they prepare to part ways for college. another "haha im playing this game this might be a fun challenge" that got so goddamn out of hand (8k words)

murderbot fanfic ive posted about before where ART tries to hold hands. its also short, mostly written, and something i SHOULD finish. but will i? (i keep saying "no" but i mean "hopefully") (3k words)

original story closing the book on a character i played in a dark fantasy intrigue ttrpg. hey! this game ended 4 months ago! why is this still not done (12k+ words)

a visual novel? a whole goddamn visual novel about h3x, another ttrpg character? this game has officially been ended prematurely due to gm burnout so realistically i will prob never finish this. but also, i kind of want to just to teach myself how to make a visual novel? OOPS? (??? words bc figuring that out would require booting three different programs. but it's at least 15k+)

my locked tomb western au fanfic that i started for the 2021 tltbb and then basically dropped due to mixed reception and getting burned out on that fandom. another project i will probably never finished but with the new book coming out who tf knows (22k+ words)

an outlined lesbian southern horror novel about a woman being seduced by a haunted house. this project is so exciting but. please scroll up. when am i gonna start it. and DON'T say nanowrimo i'll cry (2300 words)

worldbuilding for a beam saber ttrpg game i want to run very badly but realistically won't run for 3 years. but yknow. its not like ive got anything else to write (2k words)

worldbuilding im behind on for a magical realism 1930s monster of the week ttrpg game im running this fall. i literally need to get this to the players by the end of this week ideally lmfao (??? words bc its spread out over 3 documents and a google slides presentation)

more. there's more. im just going to stop now but i need u to know there's more

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

much to the chagrin of anyone who wants me to, you know. make a living writing, publish again, "do something with my talent," i almost exclusively write WAY TOO LONG stories about the tabletop roleplaying games i'm in on my wordpress. i also write approximately one fanfiction every two years, mostly for wildly different fandoms, here on my ao3.

i would honestly say about 40% of the writing i do is just for me? (unless we want to talk about the nonexistent traffic to that wordpress blog or how often my fellow players have to go "alex i simply do not have the time to read 20k words about the blorbo you created for our game," in which case it could be argued that 90% of my writing is only consumed by me slkdjlfjg) i think it's super important to write for yourself and not attach your enjoyment of writing to engagement/web traffic. the internet will make u insane about that

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

oh man this character has a complex relationship w their mom

characters talking "flatly" or delivering something deadpan

"trudged" (insert paul bettany's monologue about trudging from a knight's tale here)

"the moral of the story is, it's not about building something that outlives you, it's about enjoying the life you're living with the people you love" character arc (i stole this arc from my life)

having characters do fucked up and evil things to coffee bc i can't stand the taste of it

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

i'm restraining myself only to what i've already listed above. the visual novel is the oldest, bc i love my terrible son and i do actually really want to learn how to write and program VNs

#send help this got so fucking long #luke i am drafting a formal apology u will receive it in 2 to 3 business years #LONG POST #ask game #asks #mechanicalriddle #dot txt #my writing

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warmau · 3 years

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☆ lovestruck!au x librarian!au taeyong other lovestruck!aus: jeno | chenle | haechan | jisung

a tower of books is blocking taeyong's vision, just a voice comes echoing out from behind them

"do you have a classics section?"

"of course! which author?"

there's a pause and taeyong starts to get up so he can at least see who he is talking to

"who would you recommend?"

taeyong is already running through his alphabetized list that he's spent hours on making in his head

when you love books as much as he does, a question like that makes everything around him spark

but then he sees you

you seem to be frowning, looking down at the screen of your phone as the familiar notification sound of the college email comes vibrating through the room

a couple of people studying nearby turn to glare and you whisper a small apology as you put your phone on silent and meet taeyong's gaze

taeyong almost wishes you hadn't

the urge to bring up the long sleeves of his oversized cardigan to hide his face starts to take over his brain instead

they're so cute - i can't look at them!

you blink when taeyong doesn't say anything - he looks as if he has suddenly been struck by lightning

"sorry - is everything ok?"

your concern seems to do the trick, taeyong mentally mocks himself for being so awkward, and he says the one name that comes to mind easier than all the rest

"have you read, um, twain? m-mark twain?"

the look that you give him tells taeyong he's picked an author that could put you to sleep - not that he really would argue, it's just that suddenly all his knowledge has seeped away into the darkest corner of his brain

"no..i mean i have tried to, but he's kind of - boring?"

"jane austen?"

"aren't most of her books a thousand pages long?"

"is - are you looking for a book for a project?"

you poke your tongue into your cheek, the little action makes taeyong suddenly feel like jello

"kind of - one of my classes wants us to find a classic author that speaks to us personally. the only issue is none of them speak to me - most of them are dead anyway right?"

taeyong stares at you and then gives a little nervous chuckle

you stare back and sigh in defeat

"i know i must be annoying you right now."

"no- no! no, i just......i -"

i just can't stop looking at you and it's kind of insane

taeyong pushes the thought back and levels himself and his emotions

"i think you might want to find someone that isn't exactly a 'classic' author?"

this intrigues you, your shoulders perk and you lean over the librarians counter

the sudden action nearly topples the neat bunch of books that had originally blocked taeyong from seeing you and he circles his arms around it protectively as he tries not to fall into the stars that are looping through your gaze

"what do you mean?"

"w-well the assignment is a classic author who speaks to you right? there are lots of authors from that same time who aren't labeled classics but they - they might fit that category to you."

he is still holding his fingers on the spines of some of the books as you think about the sentiment

"like who?"

taeyong, looks at the pile in front of him, mostly to avoid direct eye contact with you, but then he notices something in the mix

through the mess of titles and textbooks and more he sees one of the colleges oldest and most checked out books

the great gatsby

briefly, he thinks about the way in which gatsby speaks about daisy

a flickering thought of the almost desperate love someone could feel for another

you tap your fingers and the little memory lights something else in taeyong's mind and he asks you in a small voice,

"have you ever read zelda fitzgerald's work?"

you haven't - actually you were unaware she was ever a writer - and when you ask taeyong if her work is available in the library he shakes his head

"she wrote a novel, save me the waltz, really not popular enough to ever become a classic but if you read it and like it i think -"

"well how can i read it if the college doesn't have a copy?"

taeyong thinks he feels the temperature of his skin rise a little because

"i-i own a copy."

this time you do knock over the tower of books, simply because you jut your upper half over the counter to ask him if he'd ever consider lending it to you and your elbow catches right on one of the books

they topple over and the loud crash echoes a wave of irritations throughout the library again as you scramble behind the desk to help taeyong get them back in order

behind the desk like this - you ask him in a whisper

"i know im a stranger, but you can trust me with the book - i promise!"

taeyong wants to say of course, but all he manages is a shy hiccup when your hands brush over the same cover

"here -" you stack the rest of the books up and then push your phone into this palm "give me your number and we can meet up"

the rest of it all happens in a blur

taeyong gives you his number - you delete the contact name and write yong with a little book emoji instead

you text him and insist he put your name down with your favorite little pink flower

after his shift, he heads to his dorm and finds the book - smiling to himself silently as his dormmate doyoung stares with a look of curiosity from behind his pre-law homework

and then - it hits ten p.m. - and the all-night cafe on campus is packed and warm and taeyong is standing in front of it with a small scarf around his neck and the book placed carefully in a manilla envelope

you come bounding down the street, ten minutes late, and skid to a stop in front of taeyong

you call him mr. librarian and taeyong doesn't know if the feeling in his stomach is love or his lunch

"thank you thank you thank you - ill be sure to let you know if i use it for my project!"

he assumes you just mean one text after you're done reading it - a yes this is perfect or a i think i need to find something else!

what taeyong does not expect is that the two weeks you work on your project, you text him daily

the book is only a mere 230 pages - but you keep telling him about passages and the old articles you're finding on zelda

somehow you took one little book and pulled so much from it

taeyong thinks its been a long time since he's seen someone fall so much in love with a writer that he misses the feeling he used to get too

one evening he gets your text just as he's finishing up shelving at the library, he stops to lean against the cart and read it

submitted my project, i have to see you and give you back the book!

he thinks for a second, chewing on his lower lip

you can keep it, you've come to love it.

the bubbles pop up fast and taeyong nearly loses the grip on his phone when you reply

that's so sweet, but i actually just really want to see you too.

and so you pop by the library when it's only him left, he's closing it with the key the school trusts on him with (and the janitor)

and he almost jumps out of his skin when he turns and you're there - beaming a huge smile at him

you're holding the book and he says, "no really you can keep it-"

"do you want to go to dinner with me?"

taeyong doesn't know if you've been privy to his feelings all along

did you, standing there behind that tower of books, already know he was going to start thinking about you every day after he saw you

did you already know he'd feel like a helpless schoolboy with a crush on the sun?

either way you don't admit it - you just keep that huge smile across the table with pieces of cake between you two and steaming cups of tea

you babble about your project, about how you had to defend not picking someone more obviously 'classical'

and taeyong does the one thing he learnt from romantic movies and novels, that when you shiver in the cold air of the cafe, he shrugs off that huge cardigan he's always wearing and offers it to you without much of a word

you pull your hands through it and go

"it feels like a hug!"

when you're both done with your food, you ask taeyong if he's going to walk back to the dorm - you have to take the shuttle across campus

"thank you for treating me, you didn't have to all over a book."

he shyly scratches the back of his neck and he still doesn't ask for you to give him his cardigan back

you look much cuter wearing it anyway, in his opinion

in the breeze of the night, you step closer to him and taeyong swallows because you're looking straight at his lips

"it wasn't just for the book. are you book lovers so dense?"

"hu-"

he starts as you lean in to kiss him, gently and sweetly, the lingering taste of cake and tea on your lips

taeyong almost falls over - his saving grace is your hand wrapping around his wrist

"ive seen you in the library before.....so when i got this project i thought it would be the perfect time to talk to you and ive always liked you, so i cant believe how nice you were to me-"

you start, confessing an onslaught of feelings taeyong was oblivious to

"-and if you don't feel the same i understand."

taeyong has never been straightforward in his life, but he answers your concern with another quick, soft kiss to your lips

he doesn't say everything he wants to either when he pulls back and you're giving him a slight look of shock

i like you too, ive liked you ever since i saw you - ever since you toppled that tower of books back on me - ever since you helped me put it back together behind the librarians' desk

he can't force the words out instead he goes,

"please keep the book.....and my cardigan is yours too."

#lovestruck!au #nct scenarios #nct au #taeyong scenarios #taeyong au #nct imagines #taeyong imagines #nct 127 #nct #taeyong #taeyong x reader #sfw

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zenosanalytic · 3 years

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Hello! You seem to have interesting taste in books, esteemed viper. Would you have any recommendations for someone who enjoyed both Murderbot, Imperial Radch and The Locked Tomb (although the last one with a thesaurus, because not a native English speaker)? Thanks!

(Foreword: the links are to the first place that pops up on searches for me; not advocating you buy from these particular places, especially Amazon; if you want to buy rather than borrow from a library, Please do not buy from Amazon if you can at all help it. Like: There is no Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism, obviously, but even Barnes&Nobles is better than Bezos’s human-misery factory)

The Broken Earth Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin is REALLY good Axiom’s End, by Lindsay Ellis, starts rough, but improves ALLOT after the first act and finishes wonderfully. Also, The Subtext: The rich, Rich Subtext :3 :3 :3 The Teixcalaan Series by (Ascended Homestuck)Arkady Martine, two books out currently, is a Very Fun and Rare example of what you could call Hard-Political Sci Fi? VERY Much about Diplomacy, Bureaucracy, History, Culture and the, shall we say, “complications” of Empire for everyone involved(but mostly the ppl being Empired at). The first book, A Memory Called Empire, is VERY Good, though it’s got a weird flow where I felt it started strong, ended strong, but wobbled a bit in the middle. The 2nd book, A Desolation Called Peace is... It’s good in different ways, flawed in that the plotting generally feels more Convenient and less deeply Developed than in Memory, but I found I didn’t really care about the problems weighed against what I liked in it. The Temeraire Series, by Naomi Novik(remember that name: anybook wearing it is likely to be Good) is a WONDERFUL Historical-Fantasy series, set in a time period(The Napoleonic Era) woefully underserved in the Fantasy genre which asks the Very Important Question “What if Dragons Were Real?”, and then deconstructs European Empire and Imperial Imagination with the answers. It’s Great. The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison is another wonderfully Political Fantasy book set in the Age of Sail/Steam, but with Airships. The Airships aren’t important though; the Clothes are. And the Politicking(which means Dinner Planning). And the Lifetime of Familial Truama. And the Engineering. And the Buff SwordFighting Girlfriends who will skewer anyone who so much as ruffles your Bueautiously Bedazzled Brow, even if they don’t particularly understand or care that much for your ideals. There’s apparently a 2nd book in the series, that I JUST found out about looking up this one, so I’m going to be getting on getting that >:| Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clarke, is not a book, but rather a Positive TOME. It’s big is what I’m saying. Magisterial would be an apt description, and you’ll need the thesaurus for this one too I assure you. It is ALSO set in the Napoleonic Era, which is kind of becoming a theme with this list isnt it, and it’s about Two Gentlemen(actually Four, and one Lady) of markedly different Romantic Literary Tropes bringing Magic back to the world(they used to have Magic, but then a Giant Crow ate it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). It is VERY Good but, like I said, HUGE, and it takes, like, a month to read(unless you’re insane like me, and dedicate every waking moment of, like, a week to reading it, which invariably happens when I open the dang thing). The author also has a new book out, Piranesi, which has won ALL The Praise, but I haven’t read it yet so’s I can nary say good nor bad about it, sadly :T She also wrote a book of short-stories, which I ALSO have not read, and ALSO Have Been Meaning To Read for, like, a decade now X| The Greta Helsing Novels by (Ascended Homestuck)Vivian Shaw, currently a Trilogy but I’m hoping maybe someday publishers will Wisen and we’ll get more it’d be a Wonderful counterpoint to the Dresden Files approach to pulp, is pretty much The Opposite of Strange and Norrell. They’re nice, Light, quick, fun reads, Competent and Workerly; the sort of thing ppl tend to call “summer” or “vacation” books. It’s about a human doctor who takes care of the undead, and the Shenanigans this gets her into. Shaw has a FANTASTIC brain, and she uses the series as an excuse to share&explore her knowledge on various esoteric subjects like Sewer Architecture, Nuclear Reactors, and Historical Divine Bureaucracy Headcanons :3 :3 Also, like, 80% of the characters in the series are taken from 1800s pulp horror fiction; It’s Gr8. IF you can find a collection of either of their works, which isn’t terribly likely, sadly, because Capitalism is Awful, Jack Vance and Fritz Leiber were probably the BEST writers of the Pulp Fantasy Era/Genre(think Conan or Lovecraft). Tales of the Dying Earth is basically the soil Adventure Time(and He Man, coincidentally, and basically the Whole subgenre of “Wait: This isn’t THE PAST!!!” scifi-fantasy) grew out of, and it’s also a pretty excellent transposition of The Odyssey into SciFi Fantasy. Of Leiber I have read only a comic rendition of SOME of his Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser stories, and a SINGLE TEASER PASSAGE from his actual writing, and both totally blew me away with their artistry, pathos, and naturalistic flow and dialogue. I dont know his works directly, though, so maybe the rest isn’t so great, or dabbles in the execrable gender- racial- and imperial-politics so common to white male sci-fi writers of that era.

Ok IM STOPPING THERE. Because I’m not Heartless and I think that’s Enough for now. If you like the taste exhibited by my posting, well, these are also parts of that taste so maybe you’ll like them too. I certainly hope so :>

#Anons #ask replies #zA Opinions #Book Recs #Our Staff #zA Reads #zA Reviews #Anonymous

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pikaflute · 3 years

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hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym.

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you.

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him. he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

#metalocalypse #charles foster offdensen

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writeinspiration · 6 years

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suggestions for a young writer? im 15 and i just started seriously writing about a year ago~ since then I've written mostly poetry but I really write other stuff like short stories or plays too! but i always have trouble making my ideas ideas into something and just deciding how or what i want to write. and i get so worried that i lose motivation! i think that i first want to tackle trying to make characters/a simple short story. advice, tips, or tricks? thank youuu!

Hi! I’m glad you’re ready to get started! Beingeager about writing is the best. Writing a poem is a lot like writing a shortstory, so you’re on the right track. Good writing is precise and almost lyrical.

It can be really difficult to maintain motivation.Most people will advise you to write every day, which is good advice, but it’sjust not always feasible. The more you write, the better you will get!

Personally, titles and concepts and characters areall equally likely to get me started on a project. A cool title might pop up inmy head, and then I develop what story and characters go with it. Or I’ll havea concept that I’ll develop and label. Other times, I start with a characterand figure out who they are and what they do.

Here’s my most popular post regarding charactercreation: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/158687382194/how-do-you-create-characters-or-do-they-come-find

Keeping motivated can be really difficult whenyou’re unsure of your capabilities as a writer. But the more you wait to putyour ideas to the page, the harder it will be to pick things back up. Onceyou’ve gone a week without writing, one more day seems like nothing. One moreweek, one more month… where does it stop?

I’ve seen people suggest leaving off in the middleof a sentence. When you do that, you are setting up for success. You alreadyknow exactly how that sentence will end and where it will lead. So once you sitdown with it again, you can hit the middle of the sentence without staring at atotally blank page.

I have a lot of different posts and tags that mayhelp you out!

Writer’s block and depression (1), and again (2), and some pick-me-ups (3)

First drafts don’t have to be good.

Write a whole bunch of crappy sentences if that’s what it takesto get a good one.

Don’t let it get you down. Just get it done.

Your big ideas are worth pursuing.

This post in particular will likely resonate with you and how you feel right now: https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately (full text included at the very, very bottom of this post)

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Useful tags:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/young– stuff relating to young writers and characters

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/inspiration– inspiration

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/search/motivation– motivation

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– writing prompts

Specific posts that address some of your concerns:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/144610505447/if-you-see-a-need-fill-it– If you see a need, fill it.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/152075979524/fuckyeahyoungadultlit-tachycardiia– diversity in YA lit

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately– starting to write

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131428782622/cliches-in-ya-romance– clichés in YA romance

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/131034862609/lizardpeopledearreader-honestly-if-stephanie– There’s always someone worse.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/104205593649/jetpack-johnny-rose-for-a-tenner-actually– Curiosity is important.

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/23740953643/setting– starting with setting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/151665809147/learning-the-essentials-of-plotting-your-novel– plotting

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/149405245039/i-have-an-insanely-bad-time-writing-dialogue-any– dialogue

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/169191903744/behind-me-is-infinite-power-before-me-is-endless– possibilities

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/167418537238/startledoctopus-ronibravo-i-started-writing– any reason to start writing is a good reason

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/96119396642/cranky-crustaceans-pupukachoo– Pixar’s rules for storytelling

30THNOVEMBER 2013

QUOTE REBLOGGEDFROM BLOTS& PLOTS WITH 105,191 NOTES

Young writers should read books past bedtime andwrite things down in notebooks when they are supposed to be doing somethingelse.

— Lemony Snicket (via blotsandplots)

14THDECEMBER 2012

The question for each man to settle is not what hewould do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; thequestion is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young manceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks hisconditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stoneof a solid and honorable success.

— Hamilton Wright Mabie

7THNOVEMBER 2017

PHOTO REBLOGGEDFROM FIXYOUR WRITING HABITS WITH 2,493 NOTES

[Image transcript:The Rules of Writing

1: Write crappy first drafts.2: Words don’t bleed. Cut them.3: Write now. Edit later.4: There are NO mistakes–only creative opportunities.5. Don’t think. Just write.6: Rules? There are rules?]

Starting to write:

https://writeinspiration.tumblr.com/post/132168477614/ive-been-trying-to-write-for-years-unfortunately

deathtotheselfie asked:I’ve been trying to write for years. Unfortunately I’m very young and theschooling I’ve received on writing is nothing like I what I write about. I’monly 14 now, but little phrases and ideas bounce around in my head. Howeverwhen I write I feel like it’s not good or mature enough because of my lack ofexperience. I can’t tend to think of original plots as I’m just surrounded inother people’s work. Do you have any advice on plot development? And do youthink I should continue trying to write?

Hi! Your question makes me quite sad. If you liketo write, then you should pursue it. It’s that simple.

School doesn’t help much in terms of creativewriting. Over the summer, when I was little, my mom would make my sister and mewrite short stories. It kept me in the habit of writing even when school wasn’tin session.

(Wanna know a secret? I often got stuck halfwaythrough my story, so I’d coerce my sister into showing me hers. Then I wouldwrite the same events but in my own words. I did this for quite a while onesummer. Maybe two.)

Not only does school keep you ridiculously busy,but it also doesn’t like teaching creative stuff much either, because math andscience are deemed as more important than anything related to the arts.

All those negative voices banging around in yourhead along with all the good ideas you have? You need to learn to silence them.Those things are what you are being trained to think.

Here’s what nobody seems to know about writing:you have to start somewhere. No one starts off as an amazing writer.

People expect writers to have this magical well ofintuition, but honestly, it just comes from practice.

You know that thing about practicing 10,000 hoursin order to become a master at something? It applies to writing, too.

Writers write.

You need to watch and write things down–what youobserve can be the basis for characters or plot or whatever. Eavesdrop on astranger’s phone conversation to get a peek into other people’s lives. Sit on abench in the mall and watch people go by.

Do you know how babies learn? They observe otherpeople doing things and then try to mimic them.

I don’t mean that fledgling writers are babies, ofcourse, but I mean that you can get your best work by reading other people’swork.

Figure out what you like to read, what you don’t liketo read. And then ask yourself WHY.

What is it about that book you hated? Was it thecharacters? The plot? The slow story-telling?

What did you love about that one book? How did itmake you feel? What parts made you feel that way?

I was in middle school when I began reading a Series of Unfortunate Events (I’m25, for comparison’s sake). Do you know what my writing sounded like while Iwas reading those? Lemony Snicket. It wasn’t on purpose, but that’s just whathappened. (Also for comparison’s sake, I now have had a short story publishedin an actual anthology and completed a 60-page poetry collection as my creativethesis, as well as a book that I’m trying to get published.)

The more you read, the more you gain. If you readenough books, then you’ll have influences from all over that create a uniquewriter: you.

You are the sum of everything you have ever reador seen or thought about.

Yes, you’re a teenager. But that doesn’t stop youfrom observing the world and teaching yourself to understand other writers’work.

If you want to write something but are worriedthat it sounds too much like somebody else, then figure out why it sounds thatway. Is it just you that thinks it sounds that way? Or do other people tell youthat as well? Find out what it is that makes it sound like that. Is it thenarration? The plot? The themes?

Regardless of your answers, you are able to makeit unique to you.

You are a writer, and whatever you write will beyours and yours alone.

As far as plot development goes, I find thatoutlining helps. I don’t always keep to the outline, but askingyourself “Then what happens?” after each event that you write down is thebest thing you can do for yourself.

A plot is a series of events. If you know whathappens naturally after something, then you write that down. It also helps ifyou understand WHY something happens.

She goes to the mall.

Then what happens?

She ends up going home and crying in her room.

Why? What caused this? What physical actionscaused her to want to leave the mall? What mental actions occurred because ofthe physical actions?

She runs into someone she used to be best friendswith, and they get into a fight. This makes her feel disappointed in her friendbut also unsure of herself because she doesn’t know what she has done to makeher friend act that way. She places the blame on herself instead of on herformer friend. This is because she has been told growing up that everything isher fault and that her younger brother can’t do anything wrong.

See what I mean? And it’s okay to ask yourselfwhat you would do in that situation. But your characters are not you. Theyprobably won’t react like you would. And that’s okay and important.

As I told my students last year, ask yourself WHYand HOW after each sentence, after each paragraph, after each plot point, aftereach whatever. It will keep your story going until it reaches its naturalconclusion.

Okay, this ended up being way, way longer than Iintended it to be, haha. But I’m completely serious and obviously verypassionate about this. And I can say way more on the subject at the drop of ahat, so if you have any more questions, then just give me a shout. :)

Best of luck. And don’t stop writing.

I mean it. :)

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hanreflects · 5 years

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10/28/19

Today was one of those days. I woke up foggy from smoking too much weed the night before and literally felt negative and foggy all the way throughout the school day and now its 3:27pm and I’m trying to have a new start. However, that crazy thing is happening in my body where there are voices growing louder and louder. Also, every single sound that my ears and brain process sounds like its growing louder and is attacking me. It feels like the more I type, the louder the typing noise is and the more it is interpreted in my body with so much insane amounts of stress, like that as I am typing that there is someone saying out loud in an angry tone toward me. The voice grows louder and more angry and more stressed and aggressive and it will not quiet. I smoked some from my weed pen and it only continues to grow louder, the weed did not still or calm the voices. And the stress continues to grow like something bad is about to happen, but nothing bad is actually happening it is like an illusion. Like I’m sitting here panicking but actually everything is fine.

I feel like within a few minutes it will quiet. I’m going to try an experiment.

I love you

Everything is okay

You are going to be okay

Just wait until it passes for a few more minutes.

Work today was frustrating because (mostly because) of my own headspace. Like I simply felt like I was waiting all day to wake up. I thought the foggy would pass sooner, but alas it did not so I was essentially impatient and grumpy all day. This weekend I spent time doing things that were hopefully going to sooth me and make me ready for the week. I still think in the end I did a great job with self-care and that the weakness of my weekend was doing so much to my body that is self-destructive sometimes. Like i smoked a shit ton of weed all three nights, and drank a lot on Saturday night. I stayed up late and I didn’t process my thoughts and emotions.

My therapist said that she’d love to see me writing more, and I too would love to see me writing more. So this tumblr titled, “Han Reflects”, is me making a space in the universe to process my thoughts freely and only for me. I want to reflect and process more, so that I can be the most engaged and present in my life. It’s okay to check-out every once in a while, but recently I’ve been doing a lot more checking-out than engaging in my life. It’s like life is so much and it just feels unbearable to make it through an entire day without checking-out. Most days actually every day I come home and immediately smoke a cig on the patio. I sneak the last bit of sun, or put my feet up for the first time all day. I then go on my phone for an hour, and then usually I struggle to get up and go where I am supposed to be later that night, like a date with a friend or therapy or to clean the Airbnb or go work out or something. These habits don’t help me process, take care of my mood and mindset and physical health, nor do they help me rest and rejuvenate even though my impulses like to think they do.

If I were to zoom out on my life and analyze it like a literary novel, I would do a character study on my habits and values. Based on a data chart of how I spend my time, it appears that my greatest values are belonging, euphoria and learning. My habits are reading NYT, smoking cigs, sex, smoking weed, therapy, art making, time with mariel and alicia, taking meds, masturbating, youtube, social media, cooking, grocery shopping, calling my mom, instagram, cleaning, driving, shopping. I do things to make me feel good, experience floating, push me toward moments of euphoria and giddy energy. I like to learn about what’s happening in the news and with the people whose lives I watch pictures of. I want to belong to a family, a person, a community and I spend lots of quality time investing in the relationships that really matter to me: Mom Dad Matt Zach Mariel Alicia Lennox

I have pretty low balances in my bank account right now but I get paid in a couple days. There’s a long list of new clothes that I want to purchase. I spent a shit ton on clothes and goodies this past month, way more excessive than I ever have I think. I feel like its a pendulum movement that started in August when I dropped $366 at Urban Outfitters. Speaking of which, I sent two emails of feedback to Urban Outfitters and Airbnb on Friday.

Its hard to stay focused, there’s all kind of thoughts and feelings buzzing about in my mind.

Last night I sat on the porch at sunset, smoking a cig of course, and I watched the light shine through the leaves of the trees in my alley way. It was golden light and there is a spot where the light is hitting the roof of a home and the roof intersects visually with leaves of a tree waving in the wind. There were wee bugs flying and drifting about in this space of intersection, appearing like fireflies with their backs reflecting sun’s light. The moved about and I watched them, amazed and mesmerized.

Time moves quickly, there is never enough time but mostly never enough natural motivation and incentive to do the hard work of life. To go to the grocery store, to the gym, to the walk around the block, to the forgotten friend’s porch, to call your brother, to stay sober, to read and to study and to do the inconvenient but ultimately helpful and life bettering tasks like vacuuming out your car and returning your Everlane order.

What holds you back? Is it too hard to stay with a sober mind? Is it too much to bear the anxiety of being in public? Is it too much to ask you to give a little more after work, after giving your whole self away over and over and over? Is it too much to endure intentional conversation which wears you out? Is it too much to bear the discomfort of panting, sweating and mental frustration? Is it too much to focus on reading more than a few pages of a good story? Is it too much to bend over and scrub out the mold from the floor of your car? Yes that one is too much.

I am twenty two. I turn twenty three in 16 days. That’s pretty exciting but also intimidating, like woah Im 23 im bout to be 24 then 25 then 26 then 27 then 28 then 29 then 30, like that was so easy to type out all those numbers and already its 30>??? The years are just going to fly by as quick as I typed them, 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100. ?

80-22=58

If i live to be 80, then I’ve only got 58 more years to live. Wow! I’m like a quarter of the way through my life. Thats a significant chunk. I hope that I get to live until I’m 100 as long as I have love in my heart.

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funkymbtifiction · 7 years

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yo yo yo dysfunctional entp here. i've been in a weird, non-creative, funk for the past week or so, i believe largely due to some very well ignored and internalized negative feelings. what is the best way for me (or any Ne user really) to get back into the idea-generating, novelty, creative swing? (im a writer working on a second novel so the whole 'tired of a single project' thing isnt helping either) thanks hot hot hottie

(Gif: Claudia, Warehouse 13. ENTP.)

Uh, well first there’s this: i believe largely due to some very well ignored and internalized negative feelings.

Have you dealt with those yet? Because as a Fe, until you get them out of your head and into the world, you cannot move on and the intense internalization of something that NEEDS made public (Fe) is going to cramp your muse. So, expel those feelings. Share them with someone you trust. Shout them into the void. Express them. You will feel better.

As for getting your Ne-dom mojo back – it’s simple.

Ne needs external stimulation to work. It does not exist in a void. Your Ne bounces off objects, ideas, and stories in the external world. This is why you watch a television show – you get ideas. Better ideas than they used. Or you read a book – and you get more ideas. Or you listen to a song – and you get ideas. Or you talk to someone and… you get the idea, right?

Being in a non-creative funk for a Ne-dom means your creativity tank is drained. Why? Not enough external stimulation. Not enough new stuff to bounce off of. Not enough exposure to things related and unrelated to your current writing project. You need new material going in your head. Start reading someone else’s novels. Start up a television show you’ve never seen before on the side. Read someone who is FULL OF IDEAS, who makes YOU full of ideas, someone EXCITED about their ideas.

Here’s some personal writing advice from a fellow Ne-dom, who quite often experiences temporary creative slumps (since I pretty much work on a novel and/or writing project anywhere from 1 to 8 hours daily, about 10 months out of the year… yeah, I don’t “do” hobbies and I don’t “do” idle time… and it kind of sucks).

If you hit a creative slump, you have two choices:

- Take it back to where your creativity was flowing, and take the plot in a new direction (write a different ending to that scene, or cause something unexpected to happen that you did not see coming)

- Change the setting of the scene (it’s quite possible the setting is boring you; whenever that happens, I go, “What will my reader NOT expect? Okay, the last interrogation scene took place inside a dim cell in the Tower of London. What if THIS TIME Henry VII decides to interrogate someone above the Tower’s lion pit, and dangle him over the side?”)

Here is something vital to remember, as a Ne-dom: you figure it out too far in advance, you’ll get bored with your own ideas.

Every time I have lain out an entire book from start to finish, and drawn up lists of what happens in what chapter, the creative spark dies. I have now started keeping an abstract concept in my mind (this is vaguely where it’s headed / what the climax will be, and what I should introduce next) and then leaving myself questions when I stop writing for the day, to trigger ideas for the next day.

So instead of writing: Heledd meets Alfred on the road and they discuss X, I ask, What does Heledd see that makes her suspicious? How should I introduce doubt into Meg’s mind? What should happen with the ring I introduced in the last chapter? How can I make the big reveal more dramatic?

Leave lots and lots of room for improvisation, too. When I sat down to write the other night, I knew I had to take my heroine through her fears up a road lined with her enemies – people who months before had tried to hang her. So, I knew I had to deal with PTSD trauma. What I did NOT know is that superstition would surround a myth of faerie lights to accuse her brother of murder (the murder, I had planned) and that other people would turn up in support of her, and sing an old Welsh tale to calm her down. But that was nice.

Ne’s delight in the unexpected, in allowing ideas to flourish and spring forth with just enough forewarning to lace together into the rest of the story; you must leave room in your novels for this to happen.

(Gif: Jo March, Little Women. ENFP. My soul sister.)

I’ll be honest here, in the hope it’ll inspire you. I started in on a sequel right after finishing my last book. I was excited about it, I wrote about 20 thousand words, and then I had to stop and do some line editing on the original novel. When I went back to my sequel, my creative spark had DIED. I was distraught; where had all my excitement, enthusiasm, and ideas gone?? So I put that draft in a folder, and tried another. It went on for about 15 thousand words just fine, and then it DIED. More distress. More staring at a blank page. More clueless pondering. More angst. So I delved into it from yet ANOTHER angle. I changed all the POV’s. I tied it back into London in addition to Wales. I invented an entirely new subplot. I wrote about 20 thousand words.

And it DIED. I lost the spark.

I spent one day utterly frustrated, near tears, anxious that maybe I’ll never be able to write another book (low Si paranoia :P) … and I opened up my original draft, the one with 20 thousand words, and skim read the first four chapters… and then sat down and carried the story forward. I’ve kept bits and pieces from each draft, and a lot of that writing can go in this book; but my forward momentum is back. The original idea WAS INDEED the best, or at least, the one my Ne is most passionate about – but it had to explore other options first, before it could settle down to tell THIS story.

Okay, the last bit of advice – you can take it or leave it.

Many high Ne’s benefit from working on multiple projects at once. You should consider, yes, working on your book; and writing a short story or a fan fiction on the side in a totally different genre, to keep your mind active.

I, however, have never been able to do this without losing focus – so I am a “one project at a time” kind of girl, to the extent where if I have an amazing idea for a different book or character in the middle of working on THIS one, I write it down on a slip of paper, stick it in a jar, and forbid my mind from thinking about it further, in order to remain focused.

Finally, write yourself a quick deadline. Given the amount of time you have to spend on this novel, and what else you have to do which might detract from it, and how fast you can write, figure out a rough estimate of how long it will take you to write this book. I spent two years on the last one and it literally almost killed me and drove my family insane (though, technically, since it went through about 14 drafts / rewrites / completely changed focus 4 times, and started out as a novel covering 20 years, went to a novel covering a decade, and wound up being a novel covering 6 months… I was working on more than one novel). This is NOT GOOD for a Ne-dom. We like to see PROGRESS. We like to see a point in our future when we are FREE to pursue OTHER THINGS. So, give yourself six months to write a rough draft. Or four months. Something doable, that keeps you motivated, because:

When I get done with this, I can write something else!

You are verbose. You are creative. You are ideas-driven. And if you’re a Ne-dom, you can turn out an incredible amount of words in a very short time.

You can do this.

Hope that helps,

- ENFP Mod (who tomorrow goes back to writing her sequel, because she did NOT write fiction today and was so bored she could hardly stand it)

#question #entp #enfp #infp #intp #mbti #writing #enfp writing #entp writing

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losingsiide-archive-blog · 7 years

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eyyy so ya boi made it to 200!! i think these are still cool? who knows, i’m not hip with the kids. but i made this blog just a few months ago and hit 100 in a few weeks, and now i’m here. honestly coming back to rp after?? god knows how long?? was one of the few good decisions i’ve made. i mean, granted, i made plenty of bad ones afterwards ( skipping class to talk about headcanons, writing 2500+ words in a little under an hour, like 90% of the stuff that makes me cool ) but it was well worth it. i came into the sherlock rp community cautiously, honestly expecting to leave within two weeks, but i’ve made some really good friends who are incredibly important to me. i love them a lot you guys.

RAIN MARS INSERT SHITTY JOKE HERE,

so. i’ve talked about kacie a thousand times, i know i don’t have to. you guys know how much i love her. but i say it because it’s important. kacie and i built a friendship off of loving each other and rolling our eyes at everyone else; at the end of the day, she’s who i have. she’s my best friend, my soulmate, my partner in far too many bad decisions but all of my good ones, the only person who call my on my bullshit and encourages me to be my saltiest self in the same breath. for three years, i’ve gotten nothing but love and support from her. so please excuse my outward affection, all the appreciation posts, all the replies on her munday photos and every ooc post, how i yell about rain to people who don’t even know who kacie is, i’m just trying to make up for three years of her doing the same for me. nobody else can make me laugh like she does, the kind that leaves me gasping for air and smiling so hard my entire face hurts, and nobody else can make me go from angry and annoyed and frustrated to flopping over onto my bed and pressing my face into a pillow because her anger at whatever is bothering me, no matter how small or how little she knows about it, makes my chest hurt from all the love. so just, like, let me have this. even though she’s gonna read this and call me gay, and i’ll tell her i’m just gay for her, and she’ll send me a heart and i’ll send her one and know i made her smile, and that will be enough // @fxrechild

MY ENGLAND MOM, MARTHA,

i guess i should probably start at the beginning. sophie was my first friend in the fandom. my rp blogs don’t last long without partners to write with. i get bored easily. so to everyone who likes my blog, everyone i met after sophie, you have her to thank for my being here. sophie let me rant to her about headcanons i had barely developed, back when i had even less of a grasp on sherlock than i do now. she was my rp partner, and then somewhere along the way she became a lot more than that. she’s a teacher. if there’s one thing i’ve learned in all my years, all sixteen of them ( guys help i’m so old ), it’s that teachers are very much born. it’s not an occupation, it’s a type of person. sophie just happens to be employed as a teacher as well as being one. i know i’m not making sense so let me explain: few people are capable of the warmth that sophie displays, and even fewer are capable of directing it towards someone so far away, and then, once you have that, you have to actually be able to teach something. for sophie, it’s how to care. sophie is, without a doubt, the first person i think of when someone says compassion or kindness or love. she’s there for me when i’m anxious, sad, upset, but she’s there for the good times too, for all the smiles and the laughter, and she never misses a beat. i said once that she was family and that still stands. some people are just too important to simply say ‘friend’ // @adler-thewoman

MY ANGST QUEEN SUPREME,

i’m half-tempted to leave it at that, actually. i swear, allison has made cry as many times as she’s made me smile. allison is incredibly involved in her character. she understands abigail in a way that shocks me every day, but it makes her wonderful to talk to. her dedication to her character is, in short, absolutely beautiful to see. allison is absolutely beautiful to see in general. she’s chill as hell, which is great for days when i’m too tired to do much else but talk about sherlock and abigail being cute together. she doesn’t get nearly enough sleep but that’s okay; it means she’s always awake when i need her. allison is, in every respect, one of the best listeners i have ever had the pleasure of being friends with. whether it’s long-winded headcanons about our muses or just my irl problems, she’s here, ready to talk. and when i need time alone, she understands. i can’t explain how important that is. being able to listen, to understand, these are skills i’ve struggled with my whole life and allison makes it look easy. when i’ve had a long day and i want quiet, chill time, she’s who i go to. my gratitude for her patience and time can’t be expressed in words // @suumuxor

MY ACTUAL IRL ANGEL,

i don’t actually write with jack all that much. jack isn’t someone i have to write with to maintain our friendship. there’s genuine affection here. when i come home, when i’m sad, when i wake up, he’s the person i go to. i couldn’t tell you why to save my life. i’ve tried a thousand times, written jack novels about why he means so much to me, but it’s the kind of thing i can’t put into words. but i’ll try one more time. half the time he’s making a joke, the other half he’s being one of the most affectionate people i’ve ever met. i can’t think of what i could have done to earn his singular love, so i assume he’s like that with everyone. as funny as he is, as much as he makes me laugh and roll my eyes in equal measure, it’s that ridiculously thoughtful, caring part that fascinates me. i still haven’t quite figured jack out, but i’m gonna. i guess until then, that’s my excuse to keep talking to him // @psychopatx

MY PERSONAL RAY OF SUNSHINE,

every day i call her my sunshine and every day she tells me i’m wrong. i wonder when she’s gonna figure out that i’ve never been so right about anything. zoe is an amazing person. incredibly strong and determined, intelligent as hell and passionate about what she does. she loves mary like i love her, and that’s saying a lot. even without knowing i’m in a bad mood or in a bad place, she cheers me up, and has never failed to do so. being around her is like being outside in the perfect weather in your favorite place. it’s impossible to not feel better when you talk to her. she’s such a beautiful person, insanely caring and always ready to help her friends. she cares so deeply for the people she chooses to surround herself with, and never fails to make me feel loved, which is hard to do. if i can be half of what she is to me, i’ll consider myself a success // @traiinedassassiin

&& MY PARTNER IN MY SLOW DESCENT TO HELL.

sometimes michelle is indistinguishable from john watson. i haven’t told her this yet, but sometimes she says things or does things and i sit back and wonder if that’s why she’s so good at writing him. here’s the thing about john watson: sherlock pulls a lot of bullshit. he does a lot of stupid things, he’s a ridiculous man with mood swings like hell, but john puts up with it. not only does he put up with it, he loves sherlock. and that’s a lot like michelle. i do a lot of ridiculous things. i get anxious for no reason, sad over small things, i have mood swings like hell, but michelle is right there. always calm, always telling me to talk to her about it instead of letting it get all bottled up. michelle is balancing on that thin line between caring and commanding, which can really throw me off sometimes when she tells me to talk to her and yes, i want to, but she’s also very hard to say no to in general. so maybe that’s why i keep writing sin and further cementing my place in hell. it’s here i have to point out that while writing this, michelle saw fit to send me absolute filth from a johnlock fic, so she’s going down with me. but back to my point. michelle is the most patient person i have met. she deals with me at my worst and somehow comes out of it still sane and wanting me around, and i don’t quite think i can express how important that is to me // @julietthotelwhiskey

and a note from the author. i have argued and will continue to argue that roleplaying is about one thing: people. it’s people who like writing, yes, but it’s people. we’ve all fallen into this odd little hobby together, so we may as well make friends. my bias list is short because it’s honest; the people above are people i genuinely care about, and i will continue caring about them as long as they allow me to, or as long as i am meant to, whichever comes last. i have five ( yeah, fuck kacie ) IM conversations open right now. little icons on the side of my dash and i can’t tell you how big my smile is when one of my friends messages me. so let yourself make ridiculously close friends through this dumb little hobby, because knowing that someone cares about you for you is one of the most rewarding things in life, far better than having good graphics or formatting or hell, even being the best writer.

that’s all, folks. <3

#―♚ ❝ why do you write like you're running out of time? ‣‣‣ OOC.#fxrechild #adlerthewoman #suumuxor #psychopatx #traiinedassassiin #julietthotelwhiskey #y'all i cried six times writing this #i just really love my friends okay

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shakespearerants · 7 years

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Why Modern Y/A Literature Is Shit - Five Lists, A Rant, And A Conclusion

Let’s start with the lists, shall we? First, we have the typical overused y/a protagonists. There are:

1) the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. I’m talking about that “oh I’m not like other girls I hate makeup and I’m sooooo clumsy and also a nerd because I don’t like to party” girl, the one that always says she’s ugly but is described as stereotypically attractive. Usually white. Always gets the insanely attractive guy in the end. Relatable ™.

2) the mysterious bad boy that every girl wants a slice of. Usually either rich, a supernatural being, or involved in some sketchy shit. Has a Tragic Backstory™ that is unlocked by the female protagonist after little-to-none probing, maybe some bambi eyes, when the story is at the point where he would look like a real douche if his shitty behavior was left unexplained.

3) the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually white. Fights for Freedom and What Is Good, would actually be pretty ok in my books, if there weren’t…

4) the male love interest of the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually very flat character. We know exactly two thing about him: a) He’s Sexy b) He’s In Love. Sometimes there’s a small bonus and we also know that he has a Tragic Backstory™, usually involving something that is supposed to show that he and the female Leader of the Revolution are Soulmates or at least that they have History Together. And then there’s…

5) the Love Triangle. Im counting this as “one” main character because, lets be honest, most (read: all that I know) love triangles don’t have enough depth to justify analyzing all three parts separately. It goes like this: girl was Normal and had Best Male Friend who was In Love With Her since Forever, but Never Said Anything. Then Something Happens and Guy Two (the mysterious bad boy) shows up, usually quite out of the blue. He is Mysterious and Experienced and Interested In The Girl, who is suddenly Very Important for a Higher Cause. Then Best Male Friend Gets Jealous and Confesses His Feelings when confronted by the Girl. Then all there of them go on an Epic Quest together. A common variation of this is Girl meets two boys. One is Nice™ and one is Sexy™. HOW WILL SHE DECIDE???!11?? (also epic quest in the backround)

And then we have the supporting characters. Who are usually either…

1) the gay OR the racially diverse Best Friend of the Protagonist. Especially if it’s a male protagonist. BUT CAREFUL!!!!!111! He has to be a) male b) EITHER gay OR racially diverse, and c) ok with casually used homophobic/racist stereotypes

2) the Nerd Friend of the (usually male) protagonist. Wears glasses. Doesn’t know anything about sports. Easily hurt. Thankful™ for their Cool Protagonist Friend. Usually bullied. Knows stuff about: a) Star Wars b) Comics c) Lord of the Rings. If the author is really adventurous he also cosplays, usually as a LOTR character

3) the Best Girl Friend of the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. Usually very flat character. Comes out of nowhere to Give Advice and disappears back into the void.

But the most annoying thing is that literally almost every y/a novel or series that you pick up in literally any bookstore/library can be assigned one of these general storylines:

1) the Your Are Different storyline. Girl is Normal™. Maybe has a Tragic Backstory™, but nothing too bad. Then Something Happens and she learns that she is Not Normal, by which I mean that she either has some sort of supernatural powers or that she is The Long Lost Princess or at very least The Chosen One. Then some love triangle comes to spiel, she has to Leave Her Old Life Behind and Save The World. Book ends with some sort of sappy love confession or her deciding which part of the love triangle she chooses. Sometimes seen with a male protagonist, but without the love triangle.

2) the Love Triangle storyline. Well. I think it’s self-explanatory.

3) the Supernatural Shit Going On storyline. Someone (usually a guy) is the Chosen One. Chosen One has to fight in order to save some recently discovered world/their own world. Meets some friends who are usually two or more dudes and one super badass girl who is only there because Equality™ and is either the one who gets Possessed By The Evil or is the only one who has to be saved at one point in the story. If we have a female protagonist then she and the girl Hate Each Other For Literally No Reason until the protagonist Saves The Girl in some very dramatic way and they realize that the other is Actually Not That Bad. Female protagonist usually teaches girl about Feelings and maybe sets her up with That One Guy In The Group that she’s had a crush on for Literal Years but never made a move because Feelings Are For Babys or she was Scared And Didn’t Know What To Say To Him.

4) the This Book Isn’t Like Other Books storyline. Some shit that doesn’t have anything to do with interpersonal relationships or at the most bullying is going on. Usually features a Controversial Protagonist™ (read: the one who started the deeply illegal or at least sketchy shit that’s going on and is also the muggle version of Voldemort, character wise). The (usually male) protagonist, who is also a social outcast, now has to work to Stop The Sketchy Shit that he started, but he Can’t Do It Alone. A group of three people (two boys, one pretty girl), who are also a part of the Popular Group At School, are somehow pulled into the shit and help the Controversial Protagonist™ Fix His Mistakes and Become A Better Person. Sometimes they become friends in the end.

AND, because I can, have some shitty shitty plot devices.

1) the Love Triangle. It’s shitty and unnecessary in every way because it always features at least 3 of these things: bad writing. Heteronormativity. Exclusively white people. Disregard of the feelings of the female lead by at least one of the guys. Use of past traumatic experiences of one of the male leads to justify predatory and/or dangerous/possessive behavior. Related to that: use of mental illness/trauma solely to gain sympathy of the audience. Characters’ (specially the guys’) lives and decisions revolve around romantic/sexual relationships. Related to that: romanticization of unhealthy relationships. Enforcement of gender stereotypes. Objectification of the characters (especially the male characters).

2) Miscommunication. I don’t even have to say anything, do I.

3) The One Friend In The Group That Betrays Them All And The Subsequent Fallout. WHY. WHY do authors feel the need to have one person in a close-knit group of friends betray everyone. I mean, it would even be THAT bad if most authors didn’t use it as a cheep method to create suspense for the final showdown, or kill off a character, or to distract from the fact that most villains in modern y/a literature are really flat characters with no real motives for their plans for world takeover or whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish by giving them a radicalized follower.

4) the Love Confession When The Guy Either Thinks She’s Chosen Someone Else Or Is Being Separated From The Girl. Like. NO. Just no. Thats like THE cheapest way to create emotional conflict. Or to subtly manipulate your readers. Because that is essentially what the author is doing: guilt-tripping you into supporting a relationship, because unless that guy was a real douchbag, and if he WAS, 99% of the people who read that stuff will be like “OH MY POOR BBY JUST GOT HIS HEART BROKEN” and BAM, no one’s gonna argue that his feelings aren’t genuine, or say that he doesn’t deserve her, bc bitch did you read this he confessed to her when he thought he was never gonna see her again

5) the Love Confession From Her Jealous Best Friend. Again, a cheep way to create emotional tension and gain sympathy from the reader.

6) the Vaguely Sexual Encounter. Usually something comparatively innocent, like a heated kiss or make-out session, usually used to intensify emotional dilemma, either because of a love triangle (I really can’t stand love triangles) or because she shouldn’t be kissing the guy or something. And the thing is, it wouldn’t even be a bad thing if it weren’t completely misplaced (like, a day away from the final battle misplaced) in most cases, or worse: slutshaming. Or, worse still: the cringey sex discussion that ends in either slutshaming or kinda just fizzles out.

7) the We’re Gonna Die But It’s Okay Because I Love You talk, usually delivered by the male lead to the female lead before all goes to shit. And honestly I have never read a book where this shit happened where they knew each other for more than four weeks. And lemme tell you there is nothing more unrealistic than a teenage dude giving a two-page talk about why he loves a girl that he’s known for a maximum of four weeks. I once read a book where this happened and they knew each other for three days and made out once and he literally gave that speech twice (no, I’m not taking about Romeo and Juliet). Like, do you authors understand the people you are writing books for? Do you have any idea how teenage relationships work?

8) Bulling That’s Used As A Plot Device But Ultimately Stays Unresolved or, even worse, The People Who Bully Me Are (A Part Of) The Group I Have to Join To Save The World And Suddenly We’re Best Friends. THIS. THIS is almost worse than the fucking love triangle shit. Because lemme tell you something: If bullying isn’t stopped, if the bullies don’t face consequences for their actions, then guess what? IT’S NOT GONNA FUCKING STOP, THATS WHAT. It’ll continue on and on and on until someone won’t take that shit anymore. Yeah, sure, it might seem like it stopped, especially if you’re seeing everything from the view of a character who was suddenly not bullied anymore, but let me tell you: that is an illusion. They just shift to the next victim. And it’s so so toxic to write it like everything is suddenly ok, oh my gosh. Because it’s not, it doesn’t stop, it just shifts to somewhere else, and thousands of bullied kids that read these books are gonna think that it does. And they’re gonna go and look at their bullies and start feeling sympathy for them because they read a hundred and one books where the bullies are actually good guys, so their bullies can’t be that bad, can they? And voila, thats the first step to excusing toxic behavior. The first step to make sure that these kids never speak up against oppressors.

Some things that I am really sick of in general but even more when seen in y/a literature:

1) bad and/or lazy writing, especially when it comes to character development

2) casual sexism

3) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of LGBTQIA characters

4) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of non-white characters

5) lack of female supporting characters

6) little to no character development seen in male characters, especially love interests/supporting characters

7) reinforcement of stereotypically masculine/feminine character traits

8) little to no explanation offered concerning culture and other specifics of fantasy worlds (also known as WHY WRITE FANTASY IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA INCLUDE SOME ACTUAL FANTASY)

9) romanticization of toxic relationships

10) hypersexualization of teenagers, because no matter how good looking he is, you shouldn’t describe a sixteen year old boy the same way you would a twenty five year old porn star

And the thing is that this isn’t some kind of one time thing. I didn’t just finish a series that i really disliked or read a few bad books in a row. This rant is the product of literal year-long frustration because I literally cannot find anything in the y/a section of bookstores and libraries and publishing companies websites that doesn’t feature at least one of the above mentioned main characters, one of the above mentioned supporting characters, and some variation of the above mentioned storylines. And I am honestly so sick of it, and so are many many more young adults, because in the beginning you just read that shit, you know. And then it comes to the point where you get so sick of seeing the same stories repeated over and over and the same characters used over and over that you start really searching for books that are different. But these books are so rare, and so hard to find! And after some time you start feeling like you’re being bullshitted by authors and publishing companies. Because most of y/a literature is not only cliche and stereotypical and just plain boring after some time, its also often very badly written. And I’m not just talking language here, though that is a part of it. I’m talking major plot holes, complete lack of character development, period novels or novels that feature time travel being so cringe-worthily historically inaccurate that you actually start wonder if the author did it on purpose, a suspense arc that would, drawn, look like a squiggly line or, even worse but sadly even more common, just a downward sloping curve that maybe, if you’re really lucky, curves slightly upwards again in the last five chapters. There are so many y/a novels out there that I seriously can’t imagine ever having been edited or beta read. And lately it seem like most publishing companies out there just don’t care what they publish any more, you know? Its just one love triangle after the other. And honestly society is moving forward at an increasingly fast pace, the current generation of teenagers and young adults is becoming more tolerant and open minded by the second, and the literature that is written for us, marketed towards us is still dominated by heteronormativity, all-white characters, a lack of male protagonists in the romance and of female protagonists in the action/adventure genre, and sexism. Like, okay, if you think a love triangle is necessary for your story, why not write in a bit of representation for the LGBTQIA community and make it a polyamory in the end instead of having your heroine decide between two hot guys? Or just feature a bi protagonist instead of the cliche straight girl? If you wanna write that stereotypical high school romance why not feature a protagonist who is not white for a change? Also there is a huge difference between books written for boys and books written for girls that is honestly, in my opinion, incomprehensible. Especially if you factor that most boys between the ages of 12 and 20 just don’t read novels because they think reading in general is stupid or they can’t relate to the characters that are portrayed. And this is honestly so concerning because most boys are behind their female classmates when it comes to reading and language skills, which scientists say is a result of boys reading less for enjoyment in their free time, especially less fiction. (sources: (x) (x) (x)) And honestly I can see where thats coming from, there is a) very little literature written for boys, and lets be real, how many boys do you know that would voluntarily read something thats explicitly being marketed for girls and b) the literature actually written for boys is tremendously boring and even more stereotypical and redundant than literature written for girls, plus, you sometimes get the very paradox impression that sex is a kind of tabu theme in boys literature. Like in girls literature its ridiculed and treated in some sort of prepubescent giggly way even though most of literature written for girls revolves around sexual and romantic relationships, but it is addressed, even if its done in an immature way. But boys literature is all about action and danger and bros before hoes. Most books written for a male audience don’t even feature a love interest. And again, this is paradox and kind of weird or even ridiculous because boys are expected to be sexually active from a very young age and the teenage years are the years of (sexual) self-discovery, so in almost all media boys are portrayed as very experienced and sure in their sexuality, except for literature aimed towards them, where they are treated the same way little children are treated: you just don’t talk about sex. How can you expect boys to be sure of themselves when you just leave them in the dark about what they are supposed to be sure about? And don’t even get me started on hyper masculinity portrayed in almost every male character I’ve ever seen in a book (honestly, I won’t start on it because I think that a) my point is clear and b) no one would actually have the patience to read this till the end if I did).

So what’s my conclusion? Well, mainly that y/a literature is currently a lot of shit, and it needs to change to fit the needs and interests of the group that it’s trying to reach. The current development in literature aimed towards young women that features a growing hyper-sexualization of teenage boys and a shift to almost exclusively straight romance literature combined with a gradual decrease of writing quality is very concerning, as is the lack of development in literature aimed towards young men, which seems to be stuck in three genres: mystery/thriller, sports, and action/adventure.

#literature #books #y/a #rant #epic rant #im mad #booknerd problems #lists #everything wrong with #y/a literature

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spilling-thoughts-blog1 · 7 years

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a collection of my honest (yet irrelevant) thoughts. | wednesday 8/30/2017 |

current adventure: college.

I feel stupid sitting on a bench on campus writing a post to (possibly) nobody; but after 3 classes (with another one today) spanning these first three days of college, I feel like I need to write it out. crying can only relieve so much in all honesty. so emo, my apologies.

classes started Monday, 8/28/30 and from the moment I woke up on Sunday, I've felt so empty and drained despite only taking two hour-and-twenty-minute long classes. Monday was okay. Class let out 30 minutes early, and since it was my only class of the day I walked a few blocks down to Girlfriend’s campus. Her school is insanely nice, just my style. Very industrial, modern, and taken care of. A drastic difference to my school.

Its dirty and old (not a cute-worn though, it just looks like it hasnt been taken care of) and the kids are crusty bums. Granted, Girlfriend’s school has weirdos, lots of them, but theres a sense of safety because you know they won't try to shank you if you bump them! I don't have that luxury here. Her school is a private art school, mine is just the local community college. gotta save those dollars.

Anyways. On Monday I sat on a bench (at Girlfriend’s school,) similar to this one, but I had the grass next to me instead of the dirt and sticks here and a young guy was cutting the lawn and it was quiet (aside from the lawnmower) and pretty and I felt like I was at home. The guy was nice, he felt bad asking me to move for a second so he could cut the grass next to me. If I was at my school I bet they would have just mowed right over my folders. Girlfriend got out of class after about an hour of me sitting on her campus and I got to see her for a few minutes, really the only other time I’ve seen her aside from the 20 minute car ride to school (which is two days a week keep in mind.)

We used to hang out everyday. Senior year was the best because I got to see her during practically every period (1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th actually... that is a lot lol) and then we would hang out after school. Perk of your girlfriend not driving- you have an excuse to see her more often; she has to run errands, she needs a ride home, she needs a ride to, etc etc.

The smell of funnel cake keeps distracting me. I don't think theres any funnel cake, it just smells fried and sweet because the cafeteria is behind me and I'm getting hungry for the first time this week.

Not seeing her is one of the shittiest parts of college so far. I really miss her. Her classes are super long, each one at least 2 hours long I believe, and even though our schools are less than a 10 minute walk from each other, I can't see her because when she gets out of class, I'm just going into class. I also hate not seeing any familiar faces. Yeah, you have to make friends blah blah blah, but its a shock going from my nice high school with students I’d gone to school with since middle school; some even elementary school to this. sounds privileged, in know... I don't know why it keeps surprising me as well seeing full on adults walking into classes. Good for them though.

My next class starts in 40 minutes (at 11:00 and its 10:17) but I’ll probably head up in a few. It’s a 2 hour and 50 minute class and I didn't bring any of the 6 books we have to read because I already had my two English books and I didn't want to lug 8 novels around in my backpack, especially since we haven't needed any of our books on the first day. But then again, its a 3 hour class and I doubt we’ll get out that early.

Ew it smells like kerosene... not my favorite smell by far. They're setting up lame tables and tents and “Week of Welcome” activities. Will I participate? no. Am I the cause of my misery and tears thus far? Mostly.

I read up on all of my professors I could find on “rate my professor” and this next one seems super fun. He has like, 4.4/5 review and apparently he's hot. everyone said his class is easy too which is a bonus. The reviews weren't too wrong about my Comp 2 professor, they didn't speak too highly of her. Right now I'm not a fan. She comes to class 5 minutes before it begins and seems very disorganized. I really don't like that. My Psych teacher is an absolute loon, but I feel like thats to be expected from a community college psychology professor. No offense if thats what you want to be, or if your favorite professor (or family member) is one. Just my honest thoughts.

The sun came out, thats nice. Eases my anxiety a little bit when its nice out.

Jesus Christ (pardon my language if it offends you) Chris brown just started blaring out of the welcome week speakers. they're trying to make this shitty cheap ass campus a party. no thank you. “now everybody put your hands in the air. yeah yeah yeah.” its lit. sense the sarcasm.

Hopefully this class will be better and when I get home (1:50 can't come soon enough) the feeling of empty darkness inside of me that has lingered for the past 3 days will subside a little bit. I won't get my hopes up. I should start a tear jar, a warning to seniors.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO SEE FAMILIAR FACES I DONT MEAN THE CRUSTY MEAN FUCKBOYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS; OH WAIT, THEYRE ALL OVER ACHIEVERS AND NICE KIDS AND ARE AWAY AT SCHOOLS LIVING FUN LIVES AND BEING HAPPY, OR AT PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET BUSY DOING AMAZING ART. now its glamorous. good thing Fergie spells G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S because I don't think half of these kids can.

its been a while, its almost 5:30 now. my 3 hour class was boring as hell. he is not hot, nor young and he was 5 minutes late to class. you can hear him suck back his snot every few minutes and choke on it a little. but his class will be easy so thats great. I'm just questioning whether I need it or not.

I haven't cried yet today, we’ll see how I feel later though. I miss Girlfriend. She’ll be home soon but I’ll bet you she’ll have to eat dinner as soon as she gets home, and then she’ll start her homework. nobody disrupts her art, not even me so I'll get to talk to her before bed for a few before I pass out at 10:00. It sucks because I was supposed to see Her Friday after my morning class ends, because she doesn't have class but then my new manager asked if I could come in. so instead of finally spending a day with her I'll be getting trained. my old manager is starting at the new store which is why I'm coming with him, but he has to get trained first, so really, its like starting a new job completely. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to switch jobs the first week of school. granted, there was no way in hell I would have stayed at my old job. I just should have waited until this first God awful week was over. but thats just my luck.

Im always so tired now. I say always like its been a few weeks of school when really its been 4 days. mom asked if I wanted to go on a walk with the family, and of course I said no. “it’ll be good for your mental health” ahh I see, she can see me slowly slipping downhill again and wants to prevent it. well, I don't think a walk is going to make me feel much better about the fact that my school is dirty and the hallway I was in for my last class smelled horrible, which obviously worsened my mood, and the added fact that I'm starting a new job this week and don't know what I should wear. oh, and the other fact that I don't get to see my girlfriend anymore already and its only been 4 days.

I had a bad feeling when She had her orientation and made her schedule. I new going to different schools would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be like this. she's actually having fun and enjoying herself and making a few friends, and then theres me and I'm miserable and still have yet to speak to anyone really and she can't text in class when I'm out of class and I can't text in class when she's out. so thats great. I'm just waiting for the day she says someones flirting with her and she doesn't hate it. perks of dating a poly. I can't say no and deny her, especially when I'm not doing anything for her, or even seeing her, when someone else sees her almost every day. here come the watery eyes. plus, those kids are so much like her, they share her biggest passion. She always says she could never date someone who does what she does because it would be too much competition, but I feel like she's going to meet a photographer or videographer and it’ll be different enough to not impede on her talent, but it'll be similar enough that it’s great conversation and bonding. I'm just a jealous girlfriend, and college for us is looking to be the way I thought it would.

so, a summery for my future self who doesn't want to listen to this pity party:

Wednesday august 30, 2017. college sucks, I cry everyday, I hate my cheap dirty school and lame ass professors, I hardly see Girlfriend already, her experience is going great and I’m stressed af about starting a new job. countdown to the end of the semester- 74 days, 15 weeks, roughly 3.75 months, aka, too long to keep doing this shit.

#college #thoughts on college #school #sad #thoughts #journal #august #back to school #first year #freshman #college freshman #lonely #I hate school #I hate college #college Is the worst #irrelevant thoughts

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i11a11i-blog · 7 years

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dear mom

i know i’m hurting you. and i’m hurting everyone around me. that’s why i didn’t want to go on this trip. i know myself in this state. the crisis is so vivid and real to me and it consumes me. you remember seeing me like this last april, wearing my hospital gown and towel turban in the visiting area of the psych ward.

but i went on this trip, because of medora, because of you, because of family. and we are in this strange empty house and i am so displaced, disoriented. i tried to explain to you why i might need to stay back from this even though i knew that’d be an upset to the family. if you do not understand the burden of living your life as an actor, where everyone you interact with and encounter is a fellow character, i don’t really know what to tell you except that it’s debilitating sometimes. i see printed words writing themselves on paper in my mind when people talk to me. and have for a while now. that’s batshit insanity and it’s a heavy weight to bear. i have all these words struggling to be free. my past, just the past year. it’s getting too much to bear alone in my head. this is my last line of defense. i’ve felt for some time as if i was nearing my death. i told you this. it’s not that i’m afraid i’ll go crazy some night and OD - but that literally something is coming for me. and i feel this manic compulsion to record all of my thoughts and feelings and stories. the love and the loss, the secret emotions, the hurt, the consolation. the grief, the unexpected joy. this is the world i carry around in my head every minute of my life. a week is sometimes a lightyear.

i miss keith a lot these days. i’m fighting to not feel losses pretty deeply, to internalize everything i might have done wrong. i’m tunneling farther and father away from my reality because i feel that it is such a great trap. i did this when in florida. i’ve always done this. it creeps up on me. i found how far i’d burrowed only accidentally in those notes on my phone. i catch myself in the act of tunneling into neverland, into the looking glass. i’m already halfway there by the time i realize i’m anywhere. i think from some angle im probably severely bipolar and OCD and might even have some personality disorder something or other. but from the inside, from this warm world i’ve created, it is safe and free. it is art and experience. euphoria, and the power i never seem to have in my physical bones.

hence, the existential dread. hence, the hours spent sitting on this porch wondering if i am “going crazy.” the wondering why it’s getting harder and harder to distinguish between reality and imagination. i don’t know what’s the novel and what’s “life.” they seem to be one and the same far too often.

but you telling me i’m a self-destructive narcissist who’s “turning into your father” (my beloved novelist grandfather who wrote a bestseller, and who my mother despises for his substance abuse and general absence as a parent). those things just reinforce this paranoia that my fate is sealed and there’s no way i can’t fuck this up. and i have to believe there’s a way to balance all of this well. to listen to myself but also have the support to make the constructive choices i need to, in the environment that recognizes and supports my need for creative inspiration. i know that i can do it, and you yelling at me and telling me my shitty situation is my own fault because i won’t accept people’s love and help or “get help on my own” is so unhelpful. do you realize i can’t decide if it would be better to work on this project for another week or so and then end my life so i don’t have to hurt you and everyone else even more, or somehow struggle free of these chains and disappear forever into waking dreamland, away from responsibilities, from judgment, from burden – those two options are the biggest battle in my mind now. this obsessive relentless war of self within self. my mind, this firstborn and eternal child of mine. it pulls and pushes me with every whim.

so i am sorry. deeply. and i love you. you anger me and hurt me so deeply sometimes though. i have come to realize that you do understand me. it’s obvious from our talks over the years that you have lived with and observed this enough with your father. that you understand how big it is. you just do not accept that it is enough of a reason. to you, it is a matter of conformity and morals. for me, it has become only about freedom vs captivity.

i have to believe that it’s ok and an option to be happy someday. to wake up for any other reason than the promise of a new cigarette and the morning light that’ll be in the same spot on this chair. to believe my deepest dreams can be reality. to believe that there’s some other way to live than in fear and dread. to believe that it’s valid that i don’t have to live every day wondering if it’ll be my last just because the sadness is so profound. to believe that i deserve relief from this pain.

the isolation you attack in me is what i feel i have to do to protect those around me from this cloud. i stay away to keep you in the light. so please, don’t yell at me for staying in my room all day, for pacing circles between my room, the bathroom, and this porch, and refuse to see the rest of this shitty town where all the people who live who knew me as a confused child. i am so much more confused and i am tired of being pitied. so please, understand that this battle is legitimate. this pain is valid. people end their lives over this stuff. people self harm a lot. so when i show you my scars in a moment of weakness, please don’t look at me with disgust. it is real. it is valid. it is not a drama show. your father fucked up but he was in legitimate pain and in some ways he was just doing his best with what he had. it is always a valid struggle. some do better, some do worse. i am so sorry for your pain which triggers you. i trigger you and i accept that. i am so sorry of who i remind you of. please know it was not an intentional echo. i was born this way and i am dealing with it the best i can. please try to understand me as i will try to respect and understand you.

you remember me as a child. you saw this mind forming. i know it couldn’t have escaped you. do you understand why my own child scares me so much. emotional abuse is so easy to perpetuate, almost involuntarily. this inability to understand self in relation to other, it is sometimes coped with through abuse of children, whether that’s just steady emotional absence or constant distraction. i know how i tend to withdraw so fully, just vacate my reality and disappear into my mind. that’s kind of what you did. and i am scared of repeating your mistakes. that sounds harsh but i don’t mind saying it. if adoption is right, it will be a good, healthy thing for everyone. i am not abusive person, at least i hope not. i never have been. and i don’t want to become one. i love most everything, except maybe myself. but i am sad, and so removed from my own physical presence. and i would just be so grateful if you understood that this is real pain. that if i could pull myself out of it i would. it is hard to feel nothing and to have to pretend to feel everything that normal people feel. there’s this thing i saw online the other day. it said: “one time, a wise man said nothing.” i like that.

love, satin

#letters #writing

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