#me when my autism is being a little too spicy
Note
[Apologies if this sent twice; tumblr gave me an error the first time.]
Psychospiritual: Of or pertaining to the relationship between spirituality and themind.
TL;DR: I am not psychological kin nor spiritual kin, but both because of my neurodivergency. Do you relate? If so, how?
I would like to introduce a concept I have not seen around: psychospiritual ‘kin. For me, this means that the psychological aspect causes the spiritual aspect to exist. I would personally like to hear about other otherkin experiences that may be classified under the word ‘psychospiritual’, as in having both to do with the psyche and spiritual beliefs.
To start off, my beliefs are fundamentally rooted in perceptionism and solipsism. The way our brains take in sensory information and process it, and what conclusions are drawn from it are entirely unique to the individual. Two people can look at a red apple, and both agree it is a red apple, but they will never know the unique way the other person perceives the apple. One person may spot bumps and curves and patterns that the other does not, one may name the red apple a different shade of red than the other, and so on...
As much as we can communicate, we will never be able to enter another person’s mind and experience the world the way they do. As such, everyone has their own modality of reality, a unique way of relating to the world that is specific to that individual. It may be shared in some characteristics with another, but it still has unique collections of aspects that none other share.
Still, we come to agree upon a shared reality. Despite our different ways of relating to the world, we will both agree that the grass below us is green and the sky above us is blue. This is shared reality: when there is an aspect that is the same in more than one person’s reality.
The degree to which we experience shared reality is entirely up to the individual to choose. For example, no matter how much empirical evidence stacks up, some people will still choose to believe that the earth is flat and that vaccines cause autism. That’s on them - believe what you want to believe about those types of people, but their reality is different because they have chosen to partake in a different shared reality than the one you choose to partake in. (Just because reading comprehension on this site is piss-poor, I’m not saying they’re right or that I believe those things. I’m simply saying their reality is different than mine.)
My reality differs quite a bit from those around me, due to the structure of my brain on a biological and chemical level. You’d think a person raised agnostic who isn’t on a super hard rebellion streak would still be agnostic, but I have a tendency towards spiritual beliefs. As such, I do cartomancy and make sigils, even if those around me think it’s a little silly.
I have also experienced false memories. Due to my reality being a little bit more spicy than usual, and my dreams being more mundane than usual, the line between them becomes blurred. For the longest time, I believed I used to have four pet fish, before I dreamed about them again in a way that was just too dreamlike to be able to confuse it for reality. And then, I realized it had been dreams all along; those four pet fish never existed.
I have been through the depths of psychosis due to the biological and chemical difference of my brain. My brain went off the path of shared reality and started believing in persecutory delusions - they became my true reality. I have been pondering this for hours and still a way to convince a non-psychotic that delusion truly becomes your reality evades me. Delusion takes over your perception, thus taking over your reality. Any other explanation becomes unimaginable, it is just as real as the sky is blue.
My phantom limbs may be likened to hallucinations, my visions of past lives memories likened to false memories coming from dreams and such. As well as the fundamental beliefs that back the possibility of past lives coming from my tendency towards spiritualism that in all likelihood originates from psychosis.
It would be incredibly silly of me to say that my otherkin experience is not at all influenced by the natural tendency of my brain towards unreality, towards a reality which differs just a little bit from the rest.
That is to say, I firmly believe if I had inhabited another brain, I would not be ‘kin. It is too much of a stretch to say that my experiences are not rooted in the biological and chemical differences present in my brain.
So, for me, the spiritual aspect of my kinship is caused by a psychological aspect. I am not a spiritual ‘kin, nor a psychological ‘kin, but a psychospiritual ‘kin.
At the start of this, I aspired to outline how everyone’s reality is different. So, even if you relate to the idea I’ve presented here, does it differ in your unique reality? Tell me how, if you so desire. I’m always on the look-out to understand other realities.
🌌
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Hello there! I’m here to send in a matchup! so I hope you don’t mind anyways 나 자신에 대해 말해줄게!
Fandom: I’d like a romantic male matchup for Jujustu Kaisen and MHA also I’m fine with a poly relationship too! My name is Joey but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Magtanggol too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD and im white, arab, flipino, scottish & russian.
personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), doesn’t shy away from conflict (a but combative with authority when people don’t know what they’re doing), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, I have a hard time taking everything seriously, coke and a little mean when upset at someone and a fun fact is that I can eat the most spiciest foods and not have a problem with it.
hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid producer, i make odecore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it
likes: vocaloid/utau, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, piercings/tattoos(I wanna get some tattoos!), cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, deserts.
dislikes: spiders, bitter food, nasty scents, hot weather, manipulation, toxic people, having to be responsible for others to much(I tend to look down on/clash with people who are overly insecure), people who don't talk with me a lot, feeling restricted, and over-possessiveness
I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius
misc: accidentally misused slang or phrases bc I can't remember how they usually go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of "blow this popsicle stand"), able to eland and pick up skills very quickly, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), i play the piano, bass /electric guitar and cello, prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, not to take life to seriously, and obsess over the past
appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot suck as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i wear fishnets and combat boats, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT.
thank you and have a nice day!
(Hello I really hope you enjoy this, have a nice day/night!)
I match you with:
Itadori Yuji
- Due to his kind personality you’ll warm up to him quickly. When he realizes that you’re being shy he makes sure to not overwhelm you when you get to know him.
- He was shocked the first time you were verbally aggressive to someone but the shock didn’t last for long. He thinks it’s admirable to stand up for yourself.
- Sets up a contest for you, him, Megumi, and Nobara on who can eat the most spiciest food in a certain amount of time. You would probably win but Itadori would be in second place.
- You guys often binge watch animes or play games together.
- He thinks it’s really cool that you are a vocaloid producer and that you know so many languages, (y’all sometimes listen to your music while hanging out)
- He really likes to listen to you talk about all of your interests. He’s a good listener and remembers majority of what you say.
- Whenever it snows outside you guys will have intense snow fights. He’s really fast so good luck on winning.
- After he’s exhausted from all the training, the water bottles you bring are helpful to cool him off.
- When you are upset he’ll gift you some of your favorite things/drinks and try to cook/bake your favorite treats.
- He asks you to take a picture of you and him so that he can print it out and put it on his wall (or desk if he even has one)
- He loves your collections and art. He would want to try pottery out and try to make something.
Denki Kaminari
- He can be a bit loud sometimes and if you’re overwhelmed at first when meeting him he’ll tone it down a bit until you get warmed up to him.
- He admires your independence and hopes to be as independent as you.
- If someone provokes you and you’re being verbally aggressive to the person he would be on the sidelines hyping you up.
- If he reads a Manga that you also read and he doesn’t understand some of the storyline or anything he’ll go to you and see if you know about it.
- When he was first learning guitar, he goes to you for some tips.
- He introduces you to a lot of his friends (like Bakugou, Kirishima, Mina, Jiro, Sero, etc) he thinks y’all will get along really well.
- You guys are like a comedic duo in the classroom. Sometimes you guys pull pranks on some of your friends. One time he asked you to teach him some insults in some of the languages you know and y’all were making fun of Bakugou in front of his face while laughing y’all asses off.
- Whenever you’re upset and/or crying he tries to cheer you up the best he can by making you laugh.
- Teaches you the newest slang and phrases.
- You guys sometimes bake together during the holidays and it becomes a mess because he decides to stick his finger into the batter and put it on your face, causing a war.
Masterlist
#jjk matchups#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk itadori#yuji itadori#yuji x reader#itadori x y/n#mha matchups#mha x reader#mha x y/n#mha denki#denki kaminari#denki x reader#denki x y/n
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Friday meme - tagged by @crankygrrl
Last song: currently listening to myNoise, "Sea Organ" (custom settings should be embedded in the link):
Songwise I've been spinning a lot of 70's Dolly Parton these days, but mostly running podcasts and ambient -- music is not running hot for me right now, but I expect in another few months I'll be curious and hungry for it again.
Favorite Color: I love a good phthalo green, but I adore plum purple:
Last Movie Watched: First time watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. This number was the highlight for me -- from her upside down cross looking earrings to the little black cuffs on their wrestling spankies.
An interesting cultural piece that's for sure, and I may revisit it wrt mid-20th-century meditations on mercenary heterosexuality. For example, in all the allusions and homages to That Pink Dress & Tuxedos musical number, I'd never clocked the chandelier giving Legend of the Overfiend vibes:
Currently Watching: 30 Rock, for the quintillionth time, tending my funky little rock garden of headcanons.
[e.g., Floyd DeBarber is the most insidiously terrible guy Liz ever dates -- and the alcoholism is none of it -- I really do worry about Caitlyn's mental health and physical safety, and I'm glad she has the "well fuck you too buddy" example of Liz doing Bible Mad Libs in the midst of her nuptial mass]
[oh he's gonna kill da wabbit alright : / Meanwhile, Liz subverts the genre by sailing through danger like Mr. Magoo]
[the danger in this case being 1. think you're marrying a peer 2. get your dreams sacrificed to resolve the two-body problem 3. sacrifice your body pumping out more student body for St. Prep's or whatever 4. get upgraded when Floyd makes partner]
[least. satisfying. Land of Cleve. montage. ever.]
Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Savory, yes please.
Relationship Status: is Addams. Best friend, playmate, true co-parent, intellectual equal, and great fun to break a bed with. A few decades ago we met under an ausipicous sign:
Last thing googled: Mechanical keyboards. My typing is self-taught on a '67 Smith Corona electric and I have never been able to retrain my fingers to strike softer. I miss the satisfying typewriter thunk and tactility of Making Words Manifest.
Current Obsession: Exploring life outside of a survivial mindset.
Curent/Last Read: Blood in the Machine by Brian Merchant; Doppelganger by Naomi Klein; Feeding the Other: White Privilege and Neoliberal Stigma in Food Pantries by Rebecca de Souza; Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed (rereading); Unmasking Autism by Devon Price; The Will to Change by bell hooks; Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski (re-reading); Happiness Becomes You by Tina Turner (read in April, considering re-reading); The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity by David Graeber and David Wengrow (rereading); doesn't include the ones I'm truly stalled out on or in queue.
Looking Forward To: being able to hang with friends again; cherry season; fireflies; new glasses; my first tattoo; making more art.
Tagging in all who'd like to play!
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Heya! I'm just placing a info sheet of my tmnt rise forms! Also there shall be asks! (Info from my oc book )
Reachle
Nicknames:
Gray(splinter )
lil shadow (mikey and raph)
Red( leo and raph)
Tiny Red(donnie)
Niño(ghost bear)
spicy(close friends )
Sparky Flame(Jessica )
Spiderling (Big Mama)
Spices:
leopard tortoise
Age:
11 years old
Mystic power:
shadows, can cause a bit of dangers for her as she's hafe demon still in this version
Appernace:
has leopard print on her dark green skin, her spots are gray as her eyes are still blue and has black hair aslo wears a gray bandana ,she has a gap tooth (smailer to 2012 donnie's gap tooth), she wears a hoodie thats black as it helps her sleep,she will not sleep with out it, wear dis pin.it/bPKRaZj ( instead of orange,its gray and she has pins of her siblings colours) when out or not going to bed. She has a big dark scare from a insdent involving with raph ,so when she uses her mystic power it grows a dark red
Fears?:
yes,shes scared of water and refuses to go into water as she can't swim due to her being a tortoise
Other information:
she feels sad and left out of doing some things as her brothers are trutles, she feels sort of alone when April isn't around as she's the only female. She's scared of hurting others or showing her emotions as she tends to loss control of her other side by hunger
Regan
Nicknames:
White(splinter)
Little medic (Mikey)
Little helper(raph )
mini me(donnie)
softie(leo)
R dog(close friends )
Little Thinker (Big Mama)
Spices:
Flodria River Cooter trutle
Age:
11 years old
Mystic powers:
creating things but can aslo heal a tiny bit, as he's young he can't crate anything too crazy so he can crate bones(samiler to sans , don't judge please) and if he heals too much,he can gain scares from his healing
Appernace :
has white stripes on his light green skin with yellow patches , he has brown eyes but wears glasses as he can't fully see, wears a white bandana as a scarf but then one day wears it as a bandana, has scares around his eyes which is hidden and has his robotic arm,he does his best to hide it, black hair which is near his shoulders, he likes to tie it in a bun when working or training
Fears?:
yes,he's fully afried of mascots,when he was younger,a moascot's head fell off during a show and it scared regan for life and he's also scared of thunder
Orhter information:
regan has a lot of knowledge of demons,so this tends to make him scared really,he was always scared of things as a child which still sorta around, he trys to keep his calm and not show weakness but he ends up braking as he goes quite,he won't speak unless he wants to so he ends up using asl, which donnie knows what he's saying as well as the others
( ps. Regan has autism, like donnie)
Lukas
Nicknames:
Cyan(splinter)
sparky (mikey)
dr cuddles(he himself made this as he kinda copied Mikey)
Sparks(leo, raph)
Lightblub(close friends and donnie)
Zappy(Big Mama)
Spices:
European Pond Trutle
Age:
11 years old
Mystic power:
cyan lighting ,can spark up when exicted but if he uses too much,it makes him very tired and drained
Appernace:
has cyan spots on his dark green skin and shell, one of his eyes are green and the other is blue , he has band aids on him from falling a lot , he has a bandana but likes to either wear as a scarf , he gains lighting marks from his powers and he has a long tale so his tale is much longer which he falls over it a lot, he has black hair thats long , he likes to style it in different ways especially braids and wears rollerskates, their cyan with lighting bolts and he tends to roll around a lot
Fears?:
nope,he's a brave kid
Other information:
lukas like to help the best he can but he feels like he is sort of a bother to others as he's the youngest out of all the trutles so he tends to feel bad for being around
Eric
Nicknames:
Black (by splinter)
Pyro(close friends)
Little flame(Raph, mikey and donnie)
Shortie(Leo)
Little Flame (Big Mama
Spices:
peinsula Cooter
Age:
11 years old
Mystic power:
black fire ,he can crate small fires unless he gets angry then he crates bigger flames
Appernace:
has black stripes and red marks on his dark green skin,he has redish brown eyes , has a scarf that's black as its comfy, his shell is soft like donnie's, he has a missing hafe of his tale so his tale is smaller then the others, short black hair,he has braces which bugs him a lot as his brothers have to drag him to apotiments about his braces, has scares all over his soft shell(his shell didn't develop correctly)
Fears?:
he's afried of bugs,they creep him out and had a bad experience once with bugs. Being abounded by his older brothers as they tend to push him away because of his temper and fire so he sorta hates them
Other information:
Eric isn't a fan of touching,he thinks he has to keep a tught act up but is grows hard for him which he ends up with nearly hurting himself because he won't wear his battle shell that donnie makes,his relshionship with leo is strained as the two don't get along
The kids have favourite older siblings,you can guess who,their personalities are still the same and are misytfus makers as they tend to trick the others and have wooden weapons. (Reachle's has battleaxe, regan's has tesubo , lukas has syth and Eric has kama)
Reachle's favourite older brother is donnie
Regan's favourite is raph
Lukas's favourite is mikey(of course) and Eric's favourite is leo
the four mostly get along with mikey as their close
of course leo is super jealous of his younger siblings hair, its Soft and fluffy
gender bend names are
Reachle = Ray
Regan = Rean
Lukas = Lily
Eric = Erin
How they die in the future (warning it gets dark)
Reachle: she had lost control of her other side and krang got control of her so she wasn't able to gain control and became a killing machine, leo had to mercy kill her
Regan: Out of the group,he's able to still have his mystic healing but its damaged,the more he heals the more sick he gets,the last person he healed was mikey and this resulted in regan's death as he died in Mikey's arms
Lukas: he died smailer to mikey but his portal really ripped him into pices in a bloody way,he was able to send the others back to base but died because of his portal
Eric: he died before donnie, he was out helping people but donnie was about to be attacked by krang which Eric toke the hit on his shell which destroyed it completely killing him
That's reachle!(a friend drew her)
Lukas!(art not mine! Also tag me if you ever do art of meh ocs I'm curious of how you image them!)
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ok fellas. sclormbo time.
gonna stick w just my 3 splat ocs and my splatsona for now bc other ocs are just kinda. there. n idk what to do w them now... too much yuck from ex but nows not da time for dat goku.
Mimic🍇she/they🍇22🍇5'2
originally from a really small town in the middle of the splatsville desert, they would participate in turf battles with the other kids there. These turf games were typically really messy with modified and unofficial rules, sort of an "everything goes" kinda deal. They were the person to go to for weapon fixes and modifications. When she moved to spaltsville city, she didnt understand the official rules/didnt think they really mattered that much and modded weapons illegally and ended up being banned from turf, resulting in them being stuck working at Grizzco for a while. Grizzco is where they met @r1kafy 's oc Syren :] also over time met @smoothgator 's oc Flapjack and @silly-guy-supreme 's Kman and they formed a band together called KFMS
Senta🫐he/they🫐26🫐6'1🫐genderfluid
Oh the little bastard <3
He's a full time Toni Kensa model and on the side just for fun he does pinup modeling for several different magazine companies. Hes really flirty and uses pet names constantly for poor Hapa- He grew up in inkopolis but moved to Splatsville for a change of scenery and he got transferred there for work and is now the splatsville rep for kensa. He's also one of KFMS's biggest (and only) fans. Doesnt play turf much but he's mostly a dualies main (any kind) and he HATESSSS salmon run w his life he cant get past overachiever
Hapalo (Hapa)🍌he/him🍌25🍌5'4🍌trans man
The autism incarnate <3 he's highkey obsessed w senta but not in the creepy way but the autism way- like celebrity crush ish??? but anyways he's collected practically every single pic of senta to exist ever. (including the spicy ones from his pinup modeling) He has chronic resting bitch face but hes a masdive sweetheart. He also purrs/growls when affectionate (sounds like two rocks rubbing against each other) i have the wild hc that the radula in octos and squids moved to the back of their throat and they can rub it against the back of their throat to make a purring sound
HapaSen (ship between hapa and senta)
posts tagged w this may b nsfwish so b warned
but!! u can read abt their first meeting here
meeeee :]🐝 he/they🐝aroace🐝t4t
thats it thats the post hes just me
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Uhhh CAN YOU JUST ANSWER THEM ALL anyways I won't use much to give other of your followers to ask as well so. I tried to limit myself ROFL
😈✨🤗❌💖
you should have seen me squinting to figure out which emoji is which. i'm too old for this LOL
Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?
In my fallout new vegas fic everybody wanted my courier and boone to bang, and it was kind of known they would end up together, but I just delayed it because I was TERRIFIED to write smut. everybody thought that I was being a troll, which maybe was a little true, because they had so many close spicy encounters before the smut. actually, the smut of that 200 chapter story was chapter 150 and i just named it "chapter 150" instead of giving it a nice name because of all of the hollering for smut LOL.
Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.
uhhh. my compliment to me is, good job wet vacuuming the entire living room today including the stairs. it may have literally killed you and wasted a day but it's done. and my compliment to my writing is, holy shit, almost 9 months into the year and closing in on 150 chapters, well done!
What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
WRITE, FUCKING WRITE. don't matter if nobody sees it. this is a hobby for you. and find some friendly fic writers in your verse to talk to. it's less lonely that way. but it also might be lonely, writing in general is pretty lonely. but that doesn't mean don't do it. DO IT. STOP NOT WRITING. FUCKING WRITE.
What's a trope you will never write?
I don't know about tropes, but I can't ever write any kind of "toxic romance". If someone is abusive, they're abusive and I don't like it. I have moments in my romances where the characters' trauma comes through or they fight, but I have endured enough abuse and watched enough to not want to ever write it in any glorified way. people who write and enjoy VERY toxic/abusive relationships, you do you I guess, but I'll never enjoy it. I only mention this one because even though it used to be pretty rare, it seems like I see it more and more lately. I also see people take characters with ambiguous or questionable morals in the source material (like Karl) and just turn them into toxic disgusting villainous almost comically awful people and I....don't get it. I don't like Mia and never have, but I humanize her when I write her instead of making her a cartoon villain. maybe it's a maturity thing idk but I don't like it. thank you for coming to my TED talk on toxic relationships in fan writing.
What made you start writing?
reading a lot. when I was in school I was reading 3-5 NOVELS, NOVELS, a day. Turns out I have autism, but anyway, I started writing these little observation things about the classroom and my classmates thought they were hilarious and would ask for them at lunch. I realized that I had an affinity for writing, and that I liked the attention from having others read what I wrote (even if it was oddly vulnerable.) I also realized I had something to offer, because even though other classmates sometimes tried this it never really caught on the way mine did because idk, I'm a good storyteller and have the "it" factor when I write. I can say this confidently and also say confidently I have no other It factor and am a very disappointing person in every other way, so I have to write HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
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Hi buddy! Its Athena, I'm sending this out to all my mutuals - what got you into writing, what inspires you, who inspires you and what music inspires you to write? what do you love about writing?
Wassup.
What got you into writing?
I've told this story a few times, so I'll give the condense version.
Long story, short: being Asian got me into writing. I think you might be familiar with the stereotype that all Asian kids are either good at one of three things: math, music, or art. I think that's one most people were familiar with when they were growing up as kids. You usually knew another Asian kid who was like a god in one of those things.
And when I was a kid growing up, no one really taught you anything about stereotypes until you were thirteen at minimum. So I thought I had to get into something to feel like I am who I am, if that makes sense. That might've been the undiagnosed autism at the time, but it felt sensible at that age. I knew I didn't like math, I could kind of draw but I knew too many people who knew had to draw so that didn't feel special, and I also knew too many people who did music and were really good for their age.
But there was one thing I could do that I didn't hear anyone else doing. Stories. I liked stories. I used to tell a new story to my mom when she drove me to school every morning when I was little. People knew for telling stories because I did all the time. And I really liked it. I never wrote anything down because saying the stories was easier, but it was an option. And no one else I knew was doing. So, I started writing -- I wasn't good by any means, but I held a lot of pride for it because I forged my own option for what I wanted to be good at.
And that's pretty much the origin story. There was no cute shit about me being a reader kid, or being inspired to tell stories because of a book I read, or anything. It was just me having a complex, me liking to tell stories because I thought they were fun, and being heavily inspired by cartoons (particularly The Simpsons) and I used to cast my pet chickens as the characters. Those were fun times.
What inspires you?
Vibes.
I'm not plot-driven writer. Whatever I want to read at a particular time, or whatever I'm feeling or feeling for, that dictates what I write. It means I write primarily short stories, but I occasionally write novella-length stuff if I feel particularly inspired.
I write this way because it's works for me. Especially now as a working adult, I want to spend my time writing things that I enjoy. So that's what I do. Nothing special to it.
Who inspires you?
I don't keep any altars for writers I'll kill for, if that's what you're implying. Just kidding, just kidding. I - I don't have someone who necessarily inspires me or is someone I look up to in writing. I do have my favorites, but that's not the same as being inspired by them.
What music inspires you?
Whatever vibes with the vibes I'm feeling for. Recently it's been Ed Sheeran and anime OSTs because of the fandom I'm working with.
What do you love about writing?
Love how the first thing that comes to mind are the things that aggravate me about it.
I'll say that "love" is a strong word, and that while I feel strongly about writing, that feeling is not love. That feeling is like addiction and I'm paying my dues to hit it again. Sometimes, it feels like going to a female dominatrix and getting my head slapped sixty times and still coming back for. Sometimes, it's like getting acupuncture. Sometimes, it's like eating really spicy noodles and crying snot while finishing it. It's - it's a lot of painful and cathartic things that are kind of fun, and can be fun, and are fun, but it's not love.
I don't love writing. But I like the way it curbs my boredom.
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omffffggg ur fic is killin me /j /pos i sa you were takin questions abt the boys so can they cook? like who cooks n who microwaves lmaosshdsk
omg, listen, i am obsessseeed with this ask because i go back and forth on this one all the time. i'm going to put this under a readmore because it got really long, but in short: stan microwaves, kyle cooks.
also thank you for sending this in, i love responding to all your messages in between my updates!! it's seriously so fun to me <3
like, on the one hand, sobo mimi ( who is grandma marsh in peppermint because stan is 25% japanese ) definitely tried to teach stan how to cook during their visits and was a very good cook.
sharon, however, god bless her, cannot cook to save her life, like burns everything, egg shells, makes inedible quality the sims dishes, but stan loves his mom, so he pretends like everything she makes is the most delicious food in the world. stan would eat a shoe if she put it in front of him and he would eat everything down to the laces.
randy, i want to say, slays the dad barbeque and nothing else ( i hate you randy die a miserable horrible death, bitch! ) and probably could cook kind of well if he didn't spend all of his waking hours being an incompetent alchie, junkie and *stan vc* fucking wastoid of a father so he does a lot of microwaving and using sharons hard earned money on takeout smh...seriously i hate you randy.
stan, also, is vegan, my crunchy granola boy and brother nature who actually enjoys fruits and vegetables, herbivore king. he also...is a human garbage disoposal. that man will eat ANYTHING, i mean ANYTHING as long as it's vegan period. he really likes spicy food, has like zero sensory issues and when drunk once, probably ate a decorative soap. that was an sari aka Stan-Alcohol-Related-Incident.
i'm getting off topic, but i think stan is a little too imprecise and impatient to cook. also his adhd is so awful that i feel like he puts shit in the air fryer, forgets and has almost burnt the house on multiple occasions. his fine motor skills are nonexistent, his hand writing is awful, i feel like all the vegetables he slices are like different sizes...so respectfully...i do not think he is a cooking legend...but he do b eating!
can eat a frightening amount. frightening. if u take that man to soup plantation he will fuck it UP! he turn that place upside down, it will look like a bomb went off in there like it's no joke!!! shdlksah
stan also...literally keeps the lights on at all of the fast food restaurants in south park. he is in those drive thrus more than after school tutoring ( which u need! baby! badly! ) like specifically taco bell...the stanley marsh special is a black bean crunch wrap supreme with 10...count em!!!...ten diablo sauces, a large baja blast with extra ice and he thinks theyre repulsive but those little cinnamon motherfuckers...if he thinks kyles insulin is low, he is like here bb <3
kyle on the other hand i feel like has seen every single season of master chef, half his tiktok is cooking tiktok, worships gordon ramsey and could cook really well...in theory.
because kyle, pep!kyle at least, is definitely a little dizzy with the tizzy and probably has high functioning autism, honestly.
i feel like he is very picky with food, like does not like spicy food ( u know what u are spicy enough baby, i get it ) which is hilarious because i swear stan b eating food so spicy that he can see god, and has issues with food textures specifically stuff that is way too squishy. like stan and kyle have system where if there is a fry that is not crunchy enough stan will eat it and stan will give kyle all the extra crunchy ones bc theyre in love...you know...dhflkdshf
but i think he would be really good at cooking, appreciates the artistry of cooking, does really clean knife work and as he gets older, definitely starts to go against the grain of his brain and get more adventurous with what he can eat.
also kyle totally makes food for stan ( in shelias tacky star of david apron...i love that thing sdlksa ) and is like...idk is this good idk its not my best work and stan is like respectfully this is the best food i have ever had in my life please stop capping...also pls give me a big sloppy wet kiss dummy!!!! sakdhdsl
i feel like in terms of cooking, kyle doesnt really enjoy doing savory food as much as like...baking. KYLE DEFINETELY BAKES!!!! him and tweek def bond over baking 100% argue with ur momma! because baking is math and science i just know that shit makes his brain go brrrr! also kyle is a sugar fiend, like if he smells sugar on u he will sit there and nag ur ass until u hand it over he is like a wild animal shdl.
finally i feel like when stan and kyle are dating dating and like living together in their little apartment they totally do date night and stay in and cook. which is...mostly kyle cooking and stan being really annoying and whacking kyle's ass with the spatula every five seconds shdlkad so he gets put in time out frequently for being distracting
thank u for coming to my ted talk! <3 -nina
#style#south park#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#live love style world domination and the peppermint cinematic universe#hc
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ADHD & Autism & Friendship
I have ADHD and probably 80% of my favorite people in the world have either ADHD or autism. I was visiting one of my friends, who is autistic, recently and before I could even take off my coat, literally two feet into her house, she started just going off about some book she was reading that she knew I would love. I listened with joy, needing to pee but forgetting about it, still holding my bag. like I showed up to her house and she just went off about this thing that was delighting her because we hadn’t seen each other in a while and we were both really excited to hang out.
and her boyfriend came into the room and was like “maybe let her sit down first, let me get her a drink”, the usual social niceties, and my friend was so distraught, thinking she was being rude and instantly getting embarrassed about it. I reassured her that 100% I had also forgotten I was holding that bag and also: this is my perfect social interaction.
you have to understand, my dopamine is broken. even when I love and treasure my friends, I do not get Good Feelings from normal social interaction. this is why I regularly make intentionally shitty or weird jokes, or come on really strong to strangers, or just do absurd shit socially. I am bored, chronically, medically. I try very hard not to be rude or too aggressive about it, but from time to time I lose it a little because it’s very, very hard for me to enjoy a conversation I know the beats of. if I’m making small talk in line with a stranger at the bank, I know exactly what I am allowed to say and what will engender polite smiles, and what will move us both through this interaction with no friction. my voice goes up an octave. I become more accommodating, more feminine. I pretend their jokes are funny. I try to remember what I know about local sports. I do the eye contact and the vague comments about the things we all agree on, as a society (coffee good! Monday bad!). polite conversation is a really nice thing that humans do for each other when meeting in public, but it’s incredibly boring for my under-stimulated brain.
on the other hand, when I talk to my autistic friends, or my ADHD friends who are in the middle of a hyperfixation, or when I’m just hanging out with my close friends who let me bounce all over the conversational walls as I please, it’s like WHOA. yes! finally! ~spicy conversation!~ conversation with a twist! idiosyncratic connection! something fun! “this topic is winding down, now I’ll have to do a little segue back to where the story started- oh wait, no, what’s this?! we’ve got another tangent! coming in from the corner with the chair! and this new anecdote is hilarious! fuck yes, take me away!”
I want to find a way, without sounding condescending, to tell my friend with autism that her conversation has a unique flavor that I absolutely adore, and that I crave when I’ve only talked to neurotypical people for a time. she’s very good at masking when she wants to, so I don’t want to make her think she’s doing something odd or unknowingly violating some social code. she wouldn’t speak to me like this unless we were close, and I’m always encouraging her to tell me more about the things she loves and is learning about, so hopefully she knows I’m never just “listening to be polite” or secretly judging her.
but, yeah. big shout out to neurodivergent people who find different ways to connect, communicate, and show love, because some of us flourish on that shit. I need variety in my humanity, so thanks for what you bring to the table!
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Rating stranger things ships because I'm bored and that's literally all my dash is right now
Mike/El- 3/10 they obviously like each other but they should've stayed broken up. Would probably be better if their relationship wasn't super committed, especially since they're teenagers who went through a lot, their relationship needs room. But they're not as awful as some ppl make them out to be.
Mike/Will- 6/10 I'm a sucker for unrequited love but instead of a real relationship I want Mike to realize he's into Will way too late and confess to Will only for him to be like "I would've dated you in an instant a year ago but I moved on and I'm happier because of it" and then Mike can be the one who's pining lol (spicy spicy unrequited love <3)
Mike/Max- 6/10 I feel like they dated for like a minute and then decided they liked being friends better. They're trans and gay and gossip buddies. I think they should be allowed to have more screentime together without it having to be romantic.
(Mike is so transmasc coded btw)
Max/Lucas- 6/10 I wish the writers focused on Lucas a little more, I consistently just kinda forget he's there which is unfortunate cuz his character and his relationship with Max has so much potential. I also wish Max was nicer to Lucas in canon, but in my head they're in a stable, happy open relationship. They're polyamorous as fuck. And they support each other.
(I don't rlly like how canon treats a lot of relationships actually. Everyone's so tense around their respective partners all the time it's kinda stressful to watch. At least for me. And it doesn't feel like relationships and the ending-of-relationships have real consequences.)
Max/El- 9/10 their friendship is really cute and I think they'd be happy together
Max/El/Lucas- 10/10 Max and Lucas are dating, Max and El are dating, El and Lucas are good friends.
Steve/Nancy- 1/10 I love their friendship but they are not meant to be lovers. That ship sailed in season 1 when they killed a person lmao. If Netflix released them from "committed allonormative relationship" hell they would work a lot better as "friends with benefits".
Steve/Eddie- 8/10 I love that Dustin's just collecting dads. They're cute and Eddie was definitely Steve's bi awakening at least.
Steve/Jonathan/Nancy- 10/10 I'm just skipping Nancy/Jonathan and Steve/Jonathan to give you this. Again if they were released from allonormativity jail they would make an absolutely banger polycule.
Nancy/Robin- 6/10 in canon they weren't given a lot of time together and I think that's really sad cuz they have potential to be really cute together. Like Steve/Eddie, if they're not dating Robin was at least Nancy's bi awakening.
Jonathan/Argyle- 8/10 they're gay, no pansexual awakenings needed for either of them (of which they both are. Pansexual. Because I said so.)
I think Dustin should be allowed to have 2 girlfriends. Chuck him in the "polyamorous and happy" pile.
Will is really close with Nancy and Robin and sees them as older sisters, and Nancy especially helped him when he was recovering from his first upside-down banishment.
Will generally finds it easier to bond with people who fill an "older sibling" role rather then just a "friend" role. And he got along with his teachers better then his classmates. Mmmmmm autism -w-
I really like Nancy.
#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things shipping#will byers#mike wheeler#nancy wheeler#byler#elmax#jargyle#stancy#steddie#jancy#max mayfield#do max and mike have a ship name idk#lucas sinclair#I don't know max and Lucas's ship name either#I'm bored of tagging
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Long Story About Autism and Expensive Food
A few months back we switched from Every Plate to Cook Unity.
Every Plate was great during covid when we had a lot of time to spend at home and could spend that time preparing the dishes. However now we are both working full-time and by the time we're home at night most nights it is just too much work to go through all of those recipes which usually entails making three things simultaneously- two vegetables and one meat.
Cook Unity is not cheap but it is already prepared, you can choose from hundreds of meals from almost any type of cuisine in the world and it is prepared for you by a chef.
It is some of the best food I have ever eaten.
It's like having a meal cater just for you from your favorite restaurant and it only takes 10 minutes to heat up your oven.
I have only come across maybe two meals that were not spectacular and that's just because they were too spicy for me because it was my first taste of Indian food and I was not used to the spices.
The only drawback to CU is that even though you can skip a week whenever you want, and we do that quite a bit, we only get about 2 weeks of food a month, if you do not respond in a certain amount of time they will automatically send you meals that you did not pick. And this would not be bad except that the meals that are always on tap for you to get are the same meals you have already tried, in our case the same for meals and two of those are the Indian dishes that were too spicy.
The smallest plan is four meals per week and it runs about $65 Plus tax. So that's one meal for each of us twice a week that I don't have to cook and that is absolutely delicious and filling. It is literally like a high quality restaurant meal that is delivered to your door, that you can prepare at your leisure.
I have been trying to get one of my coworkers to try this. And she has expressed interest in wanting to try even though she keeps procrastinating.
A few weeks ago I did something wrong in choosing the meals and I got the default meals in. Hubby absolutely refused to eat them because he said he had already had them and did not want them again so soon and I just really could not handle the Indian food.
So even though she did not ask, I decided to give these meals to my coworker because I didn't want them to go to waste at all.
I gave them to her and they were put in the refrigerator in the lounge. I reminded her about four times to pick them up. She never did and they stayed there over the Thanksgiving holidays and then spoiled.
I'm positive it is an Autism thing, really wanting to share something you love with somebody else. And it hurts when they'll share that.
But as someone who grew up poor it absolutely Galls me to my bone marrow to throw away $65 worth of high quality food because someone else couldn't be bothered long enough to walk down the hallway and take it from the refrigerator.
We were raised like we were poor even though we were probably a little closer to middle class. However my dad was the cheapest man alive it seemed like. The man would reuse paper towels until they disintegrated. He would add water to every possible thing to make it last as much as he could until the very last drop of it was used.
I was raised not to spend money, to save every dime I could, and that buying anything for myself that wasn't absolutely necessary for my survival was utterly selfish..
I haven't said anything to her just because I don't trust myself not to get extremely upset about it. But it really and truly upset me.
I will be much more careful in the future if I ever decide to do that again.
That being said comma if you have the money comma Cook Unity is highly recommended by me And I can get you a code for 50 off your first week period
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Hey, I'm sleep deprived and blasted on weed, let's see the reasons why I think I'm autistic
I'm awakemd super from a super high nap. And it's by the smoke and smell of incenst and can't get back to sleep until incest was out and fan on
Eye contact? Either really focused on making it and not listening or focused on conversation and eyes Drifting away
Say exact same way of hello at job
And other things
Sensitive to wet and cold so much that made it part of her image
Staying awake to make this list
Even though I'm supe r high and running on 3 hors sleep, latte, and pizza and 4 hb eggs
Adhd
Special interest in pokemon most of 26 year life
Creative
And loves child things like video game sand toys, special plush toys
And weird sex too
Like even when child me MASTURBAGED WITHOUT KNOW WHAT IT WAS
sorry tmi
Holy ahky I discovered something abot me that I didn't know
Wow
Anyways
Loves reading
And loud music during loud lunch during hs
Sensitive to loud noises like toilet as child
An dlole sonic
Oh shit
It late
Waited blanket for win! Special as adult
Fighting slep to write this once again
Super shy
Talked in labg with sister when
Adhd
Goes to speech therapy
Because I don't talk
Or maybe lisp
Idk
Imaginary friends until second grade
First friend grade younger
No friends in my grade until MIDLE SCHOOL
I think
Sorry no remember
This list loooooong
Writing still very clean
Nose so dry
Oh shkt Don her
He didn't say anything about me being up
I'm supposed to be asleep
Sh
lol
Argue with my self
Like all the time
I even fight with my ocs
lol
Autism brain go
Special cartoon likeys
Just explained idea for video for YouTube to boo and we might collaborate
My mouth so drunk
Suuuuuper sensitive to socks on feet at night! Even in winter
But can't walk out iputaide without shoes
Can feel EVERYTHKNG
Loves swimming
BUT NOT RAIN
RAIN MAKE USBWEY
sinuses dry as hell I can feel the air coming in my nose and down my throat
Hereditary
Also likes anime and furries
Has phases of certain likes or Dislikes
Like love reading but then don't love reading
Hating spicy for most of life
But finding a love from some as long as there's flavors
Mexico is so pretty
Making list like this
All the time
Will hypet focus on certain things for maybe a week
And it goes in curses
Ow though hurt for typing
Do stretches kids
Never admitted to watching porn whe her life insists of romances
Daydreamer
Ever since litter
First lover
Cucumber Larry
When he gets suck on by giat alien ad hero
That turned me on
AS A KID IN CHURCH
not even four years old
wft
This might be really revealing about me and my life
…
Okay
This Is where I add more to the title of this video
To warn me of the dangers
Of whatever the fuck I'm on
Could probably make this list over 200 points
Listn3s to music at night
Might be slightly dyslexic
Swimming
Vocal Stimson
When found out about stimming
Showed more stimming
So mad
Just took like 1 min to fix stimmong to swimming
Make little songs whole life
Wow hide in DC bathroom. And sing sad songs to my self
Don't really to that anymore
Ah shit it's late
I need to pee
Sleeps with toys still
Like stuffed animals
Once could not fall sleep until Carla into toybox
Only woke up because got hot
BISEXUAL AD FUCK
when I was little I was looking g in the mirror and ask if I was more otm boy or girly Gil and decided I was in the middle
If that not nonbinary as FUCK than what is
Thinking g about if the video went famous and FIL saw and reacted
Whole family know
Please be warned
Really sensitive about certain flavores in certain tempt
Those might go on Tumblr though
Incous make a lookout of people laugh
And no one would know
Damn thos list loomg
STRETCH TIME
often godb what if whole world kno
I could go on and on
But I think I will conclude here
Thank you everyone for reading
Good night
LoL
You wish
I'm very empathic
I forget words all the time
Especially with age
Always had bad memory
Selective hearing
Forms who they are around eho they with
But my baby let me be me❤️
Sinsirve tk sounds
I'm probably going to talk to my therapist about this list next week
Realized made horrible ablist joke in my head and realized it and was like tf why
Intrusive thoughts
Holly fuck
I can do this
And this
And
This
So easily
I love animals
Dep3ndent and independent at the same time
Anxiety
Depression
I'm still making the list dumbadd
My bad
Too much of a topical thing like lotion makes me feel icky
Hated mosquitoe spray because of sticky residue and smell
Hayes perfume
Sensitive to some smells, like perfume
Body pray okay tho
And candles
Loves sweets
LOVES TO READ
Can't focus on reading
Super aware of body
Hates being touched unexpected or by stranger
Said loved all colors and didn't have official favorite color until like first grade because didn't want to hurt other colors favorite
Still doesn't have least favorite color
"Lazy"
But I'm not suppsoes to coll me that
Realistic
Made day dreams befo3e bed every night
Had one going on for about a month
Googles everything
Okay I'll go to 200
Then I'll go to sleep
Lover of computers when little
Still love them
Have several unwritten stories to tell, including like three books and three or more wannabe books
Wrote toriko slitty fanfiction church
Drew a the time
Sonic the hedged hog fan
Loves pun so much
Made up "Copper later" for funny goodbye
Lives all her sisters
And all bet peanut
Hates pumpkin guts and still hate the feeling of them
Picky eater
May13b first 2023
Special interest in music
Went into band for school ad a trumpet and played for most of life until high school graduates but was never good at it.
That sucks
I could've learned how to song better
Now that I realize my voice is good and can be better
Hates needles
Squeamish
Spiritual
Loves crystals Spiritually
Believes in a carefree, unknowing god
Two more to go
AUTISM BLAST
Weird obsession with sex since really little
Oh shkt
Just remembered something
That I never told anyone! Fucm
I won't tell you guys
Never
Okay
Good night
I love you
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vulnerable - ellie williams
summary: you and ellie are best friends, but there’s something more there. you figure out what that ‘something’ is together.
warnings: language, bit of mwah and sexual tension i guess. i only proofread this once, because if i do it more than once my autism and anxiety tells me its fucking horrible and to never ever post anything ever again and delete my tumblr account and move to mexico so im sorry if there are mistakes.
notes: the last of us ii ellie x fem reader. Fluff and i think a little bit of angst as well (if i did it well) also a bit of spice (nothing too spicy though) both characters are 19.
word count: 2.6k tehe
a/n: my first ellie fic, hope you guys like it. It’s literally been 3 months since ive posted anything and here i am, not dead!! (only on the inside) okay, i am putting the authors note here because i know a lot of you might not make it to the bottom, or might not read the bottom, but let me say this: if you’re one of my peter parker stans, i promise you, something is coming. I’m just exploring my horizons a bit and that being said, i am writing and accepting requests for peter parker and ellie williams. so please don't hesitate to msg me.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Being born in an apocalyptic world full of devastation and death only promised one thing: loss. So, finding people, survivors to call your family was not something to take for granted.
Ellie was your best friend in the entire world (or whatever was left of it). You didn’t really know what friendship looked like before the world turned on itself, but you could imagine it looked something like your friendship with the girl.
You don’t even remember how the two of you started talking when you first arrived in Jackson. The both of you were shy and awkward and didn’t really go out of your way to make conversations with people, so it was baffling enough you had somehow managed to forge a friendship that didn’t only consist of stutters and awkward waves.
Everybody around you knew you were completely infatuated with each other, but they also knew it was a little more than just two best friends. Whenever you felt the tingles in your arm when hers brushed with yours, or the way your stomach flipped when she walked into a room, you told yourself it was because you idolised her. Because she was Ellie. How could you not? Despite this, you knew deep-down your feelings for the girl weren’t only friendly.
And there she was, laying right next to you in your bed, reading a comic she found while out on patrol in the voices she thought the characters had. Of course, she just ended up sounding like an absolute dork, but it was one of the things you loved about her. You were rolled on your side and facing her, while she was flat on her back, comic caressed between her long fingers.
“Wait, wait, wait. This one here,” she pauses to take a deep breath, switching herself into character but not being able to push past all the giggles escaping her mouth. You can’t help but laugh into her shoulder as well. Her happiness was contagious.
“Spinner-moth! I have come to avenge- “ she laughs through the most ridiculous voice, and you instantly explode with laughter, slapping the comic book out of her hands while you both shake until you have tears coming down your faces. You can’t help but watch her. Jaw tilted up to the ceiling, mouth open with laughter, nose scrunched and eyes clenched shut as tears escaped them.
For everybody else, it was rare to see moments like these; where Ellie was exclusively herself, giggling so hard her cheeks started hurting. But for you, you were lucky enough to see it fairly often. Ellie really did feel like she could be her weird, talkative, crazy self around you that she had suppressed around everyone else. This kind of comfort was a little frightening for her, she just had to hope and pray she didn’t come to regret it.
“You are such an idiot!” You swipe at the tears on your face and the two of you slowly calm down, the remainder of one last giggle lingering in the air before it's silent again.
There were many moments like these throughout your bond. Too many to count. You did remember the first time you ever saw the girl laugh. You’d just fallen off your horse after trying to mount it, landing straight in a puddle of mud. You almost hated her for laughing at you, but a few minutes later you joined her, and then she taught you how to properly get on a horse.
“Damn, my ribs are fucking aching.” Ellie snickers, rubbing at the bones of her ribs, lifting her shirt ever-so-slightly to expose her stomach beneath it. You fight to keep your eyes on her face, but that doesn’t last long before she disappears under the sheets. With a fond smile, you join her, both of you then lying on your side to look at each other.
You let your eyes flicker across her face. From the green eyes staring right back at you, to the auburn hair that was splayed across her face. You wanted to lay next to her forever and trace the freckles on her face. Your eyes fall to her lips that were lifted in a shit-eating grin.
“You good?” She asks you in a teasing tone, eyebrows scrunched together and raised.
Under the sheets, it really did feel like a riff to another world. Like the thin piece of fabric that was enfolding the two of your bodies somehow dragged you away from reality and humanity. It was somewhere you could be vulnerable and honest without facing the repercussions later. At least, that’s how it felt. And maybe that’s why you decided to blurt the first thing that came to your mind.
“Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?” You reach out to brush some of her hair behind her ear, skimming the soft skin of her cheeks gently. Pretty was putting it lightly. Right then, under the blankets with only the dim lamp on in the otherwise dark night, beaming in just enough to see her face, she was perfect.
You can’t help but smirk cheekily when Ellie’s cheeks turn a shade of pink, and once she understands your expression, she grabs the collar of her shirt and lifts it up to cover her face, exposing the skin just above the belt of her jeans.
“You’re an asshole!” She scolds, but you can practically hear her smile.
“Hey! I’m serious.” You laugh, grabbing her wrists and pulling them away from her face until you can see her again. “You’re hot. And you know it too.”
Ellie snorts. “Oh, me? Yeah. I am so hot. I have a line at my door of people just trying to catch a glimpse of me.” You could tell Ellie wanted to divert the conversation. She didn’t like talking about herself much, or when the attention was on her, or compliments, or anything of the sorts.
“Okay, okay. I’ll drop it. But, just to clarify, I really do think you’re beautiful.” You bite your lip, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you at the girl’s pink cheeks and shy smile. It was like you were looking at her with newfound vision.
“Well, so are you.” Ellie makes an awkward face and does her best to avoid your eyes while she reaches out to you, fingers dancing delicately across the faded stretch marks below your hip that were exposed when your shorts had ridden up.
You watch her expression soften, eyes intently focused on the pattern her fingers were drawing against your skin.
“What are you thinking about?” You ask her, and your heart swells at the immediate smile that lights up her face. You resist the urge to brush your fingers against her cheek again. Instead, you rub your thumb over the scar on Ellie’s outstretched arm that was barely covered by her tattoo.
“You know,” she starts, a breathy laugh leaving her lips as she shakes her head at herself. “Joel told me a couple of days ago that he thinks you like me. Like, like me, like me,” Ellie only pauses for a moment, but in that moment, you feel your heart drop so hard you’re surprised it doesn’t shoot out and hit the wall behind you. “And I said, ‘well that’s not possible, Y/N doesn’t even like girls, so-“
“First of all, where is Joel? I’d like to personally deliver, this-” you stick your middle finger up at Ellie, “- to him,” there’s a playful grin on your face to compliment the amused one on hers. “And, second of all, who said I don’t like girls?” You raise an eyebrow at her, not missing the way her eyes light up in the slightest. She was sure you could hear her heart thumping in her chest.
Ellie splutters and trips over her words. “I didn’t- well, I just thought-“ she cuts herself short, lips falling in a straight line and making a face that says ‘shit, you got me.’
“Okay, that’s my bad. I shouldn’t have assumed,” a breathy huff escapes her lips and she covers her face with both of her hands, groaning into them.
You giggle at her reaction, still feeling the slightest bit giddy as well. Jesus, was your crush that obvious to everyone around you, but you?
“And thirdly, what if I do have a crush on you?” Your voice is a little higher than usual, probably because your hands were beginning to sweat and your throat was tightening up, the telltale signs you were nervous as fuck. You try to keep a neutral expression.
Ellie moves her hands away from her face, eyes flickering around your own, searching for a sign, any sign to tell her if you were joking. A few moments go by and she shakes her head, plastering a smile on her face with a roll of her eyes. “You don’t.”
“What if I do?” There’s no hesitation.
Her face falls back to a curious expression. This was everything she’d been waiting to hear.
This kind of comfort was a little frightening for her, she just had to hope and pray she didn’t come to regret it.
Her walls shoot up. Her cheeks turn pink. Her heart is pounding anxiously in her chest, looking for a way out. It also wants to shield itself from you. You, who could break it in seconds with two words; ‘I don’t.’
She bites her lip, a flash of a hurt expression lasting for a split second, before she’s throwing the sheets off her and climbing out of your bed. Your bed, where you comforted her whenever she fought with Joel, when she broke up with Cat, when she had a rough day patrolling. Where you kissed her forehead and stroked her hair until she fell asleep. The bed she slept in more nights than her own.
Maybe you were telling the truth. Maybe one day she’d believe you. But from the moment she met you, she spent everyday convincing herself she could never be with you, that she didn’t deserve you. She would only be your best friend, nothing more. It was too late.
“Ellie, what’s wrong?” You call out, jumping out of your bed after her and following her into the living room. Her hand was on the door-knob, ready to leave, but you grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Look at me.”
She freezes, lip between her teeth, eyebrows furrowed as she tries to compose herself enough to face you. What feels like hours later, she turns around, eyes immediately meeting with yours, and your heart aches at the tormented expression on her face.
“Ellie?” You had no idea what went so wrong, so quickly. You don’t release her wrist, scared that she would leave the second you did, but you move your other hand to her cheek, only for her to turn her face away. Your heart drops, you feel the tears spring to your eyes as she stares back at you like you’re not really there. “Can you just tell me what’s wrong?”
“You’re lying. I get it’s a joke, and it’s funny, but at what cost? My feelings?” She raises an eyebrow at you, she hoped you couldn’t see how hard it was to keep a straight face.
You just shake your head, mouth open in shock as you stare straight back at her. “Ellie, what if I do?” You push, eyes unwavering to show how serious you were.
“What are you doing, Y/N? Seriously.”
“I want you to tell me, what if I do? What if I do, and I’m scared to tell you, because I know you’ll freak out? Like you are right now.” You release your hold on her wrist, swatting frustratedly at the single tear that falls from your eye. “What if I do, but I’m scared you won’t want me back?” Your voice cracks as it falls just above a whisper and you turn away from her, holding your hands over your eyes and willing yourself to keep it together.
Ellie takes a deep breath in, feeling a little less vulnerable when you’re turned away from her. She wrings the ring and pinkie finger on her left hand, staring down at them as she fumbles over the words to say. She hated seeing you cry. She could count only on one hand how many times she’d been the cause of your tears.
“You know what my biggest fear is?” She looks back up and at your back, seeing your shoulders visibly stiffen at her words.
“Spiders.” You sniffle after a few moments, not daring to turn around.
Ellie looks down again, a small smile on her face at the fact you remembered. “That’s kind of my, bullshit-superficial answer I give people,” she fidgets with her hands again, tongue toying with the inside of her cheek as she ponders whether or not to tell you. “My biggest fear is… Losing people - you know, ending up alone and stuff.” She wipes her hand across her nose, not looking up as she sees you turn around out of her peripheral vision. It was easier to talk to you when it seemed like you weren’t there.
“So, when I realised I liked you, I convinced myself that nothing could happen between us, that you’d never like me back, because liking you and thinking you didn’t feel the same seemed a lot better than liking you and trying to, you know, be more than friends, and then losing you because of it.” She admits, only looking up when your feet move towards her, just in time for your hands to cup her cheeks and pull her into a kiss.
Ellie’s eyes are open in shock, but once she recovers, she’s kissing you just as hard, just as passionately with a level of delicacy at the same time. She kisses you like she’d been dreaming of this moment since forever. She’d never tell you that she had.
Her hands grab onto your wrists, then they’re on your cheeks, then they’re resting on your sides, right where your ribs are. She doesn’t know where to hold you, she can’t get enough.
Your tongues lock in something of a frenzy. Lines are blurred, friendships are ruined, but something else, something better is sizzling in its place. Something Ellie is already terrified to lose.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” Ellie slightly pulls away, breath tickling your lips and words falling out in pants. Eyes glued shut, forehead tilted down to yours, she doesn’t see the look of pure love in your eyes as you stare up at her.
“Then don’t.” You whisper, stroking your thumbs over the freckles on her face.
Minutes pass like this. Your hands on her cheeks, hers on your side, foreheads touching and eyes closed.
“Everything has changed.” Ellie mumbles after some time, her voice hoarse and crackly.
“Change isn’t always bad, El.”
She opens her eyes at this, just as you do, and she smiles.
A small, simple smile that told you she trusts you. That she’d try with you.
You bite your lip, trying to stop your own smile from being so gigantic that you look like an idiot.
“You know, I’m still going after Joel.” You remind her, butterflies swarming in your stomach when her eyes meet with yours, a cheeky glint in them.
“Be my guest.”
Ellie was right, everything did change in that moment. Your safe, happy and healthy friendship morphed into something a little more dangerous. You both knew it was something you had to work hard at. Being in a relationship was hard enough, throwing an apocalypse in to the mix added a certain feeling of doom to it.
Between the two of you, there was a silent agreement. You’d have her and she’d have you. No matter what. Two best friends who loved each other, kissed each other, told each other things only lovers do.
She’d give her life for you, you’d do the same for her.
#thelastofus#tlou#tlou 2#ellie williams#ellie williams imagines#ellie williams x reader#tlou2 ellie x reader#joel miller#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x f reader#tlou fic#ellie williams fanfiction
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Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.
I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.
Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.
I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.
ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:
This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.
As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)
LET'S FUCKING GET IT.
The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.
Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.
Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.
I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.
Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.
Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.
Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.
Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)
Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?
There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.
Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.
My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?
Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.
For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted
First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):
Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)
Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too.
It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.
If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.
Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):
I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man.
Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want.
I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too.
Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around.
If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.
Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.
Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.
If you've read this far, thank you so much!
#mello speaks#dhar mann#dhar mann talk#dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos#dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu#dhar mann is a piece of human garbage#please stop supporting dhar mann#autism isn't a tragedy#we need better representation for autistic people who aren't little white boys or young white cishet men#dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby#tw abandonment#tw ableism#cw sia mention#cw chris chan mention#tw dhar mann
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Tim Drake is Disabled!
welcome to Pip's Projections! (fair warning im working mostly from oooold memory and vibes, im no expert)
neurodivergence!
i definitely get autism spec vibes from Timbo (maybe ADHD). His special interest– one of them, rather– being crime, and specifically high-profile, hero-adjacent crime.He seems to hyperfocus on anything crime related, and fixates automatically on such things– like where he's focused on the crime story on the TV when his dad is being awful
he also, at least from where im sitting, seems to have emotional dysregulation problems and problems recognizing his emotions in the moment and working through them– my most vivid example is when his dad dies, and he stuffs down his feelings, and either can't or refuses to communicate or emote, which is something i struggle with when i cant fully parse a feeling
hyperfocus, a deep drive for perfectionism– which isn't exactly a trait of autism or ADHD, but I've seen a lot of overlap, a need to be doing something– he rarely rests, and there's little (afaik) showing him just chilling, seeming to obsess over details (yes, he is a detective, still) and overthinking scenarios, especially possibilities
seems kinda socially awkward, but like not debilitatingly so, though his interests– that we've been shown– are fairly restricted, and often tie back in to crime and vigilante stuff
a large swathe of abilities, many of which are previously undisclosed, indicating a disinclination to share with friends/family/colleagues/whatever one's latest exploits
routines. this is less about him having to have the same day/week over and over, and more about planning. he has a plan, and he obsesses over also having a plan for every possible variation (control issues, i relate, except i ahte routines with a passion funny enough)
mental illness!
spicy spicy major depression, generalized anxiety, and the obligatory PTSD, for all vigilantes. also, i feel, maybe some depersonalization-derealization– though i dunno if id say full on disorder or if thats just symptoms, you know? love them differential diagnoses
the major depression... i mean the vibes alone? his friend dies, and he sinks into his grief to the point where he tries to clone said friend. whenever he suffers a loss, he retreats, and then he stuffs it all down, and if that doesnt scream major depression, i should get a new diagnosis
the anxiety?? i guess this ones more abstract, but the feel of the way he holds himself for one? its all shoulders up, sometimes literally poking up, even hunching slightly, generally in the shadows, covering the eyes. thats just me in public.
also the overthinking, though it does fit with the neurodivergence, in terms of how meticulous it all is, how in advance, it also works here. the fact that he needs these plans, and props, and extra everything, and a mask under a mask, that's an anxiety disorder.
i feel like the PTSD is just a given, right? like, he's definitely got some stress from all them traumas, you know?
the dissociation– depersonalization and derealization– comes from how his inner monologue sounds while he's in conflict. true, he's probably desensitised to the panic of violence, but he still sounds detached, like he's seeing the things happen, but he's not really aware, or like, present. that's just from the mood, the gutcanon if you will
physical illness!
goodbye spleen! obvi this means our boi Timmy is immunocompromised. he has to take antibiotocs whenever he's ill at all, and if his white blood cell count gets too high (afaik, i have a spleen, i just googled), and he should NOT be in direct contact with anyone showing symptoms of shit, even if it's just the common cold.
so that's a wee bit disabling. also, from personal experience, your immune system sucking means you are always sick, even when you have no reaosn to be. So have fun imagining Red Robin interrogating a goon, and having to pause to blow his runny nose. I know I shall.
immune system problems also happens to be exhausting. not just because of upkeep, but because your body is trying so hard to repair itself, but it is too weak– for Tim, because some asshole stabbed him in a not-so-vestigial organ, for me because collagen fuckery– and all that trying takes up your energy. so i think Red Robin goes out less often than the others, because he needs more rest, as a precaution and as recovery
tl;dr he could be disabled, DC. he could be ND, DC. he could be so much cooler, DC!
i need more outright disabled characters. in the meantime, tim is my comfort probably disabled character
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Ouran High HCs
For the fifteenth birthday of one of my favorite romantic comedies, and the day that I started watching said romantic comedy with my boyfriend who is relatively new to anime it got me thinking about these characters and how wonderfully diverse their personalities are. The show has 100% chaotic energy and I love it so much. I wanted to look at every major character in the host club (Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, my favorite twin Kaoru, Honey-senpai, and of course Mori-senpai.) using all their personalities and make some head-canons for favorite group of crazies!
Haruhi:
- She/they icon, we stan
- Always preferred to wear more masculine clothes growing up, they were less expensive than the feminine ones. Plus she felt more comfortable in a pair of shorts as opposed to a dress.
- A very active child, she was always running around her neighborhood, going to the park and doing things with her dad.
- Her dad taught her everything that she needed to know about makeup once she became a member of the host club.
- She worked a part time job in order to help her dad pay the bills and to get food money.
- She thought that she was arosexual before joining the host club. Despite the confessions that she got in junior high they either went entirely over her head or she told them that she was too focused on her studies for romance at that time. Of course all that changed when she met our favorite blonde haired himbo goofball.
- She did wind up taking the conversational French with the twins and often times they'll slip into it for practice. Of course, Tamaki always understands when they talk shit about him so they just do it to mess with him.
Tamaki (my favorite):
- Bisexual king, honestly I love that for him out here living his best life.
- He didn't have much of a childhood between constantly needing to be there for his mom and make sure that she was healthy and okay. It's why he made the host club in the first place to live out his childhood that he was robbed of.
- Is actually way smarter academically than most people might think. If you were to look at the class grades he's always right behind Kyoya. He dedicates a lot of his free time to studying. He's not inherently stupid, just naive.
- His mom was the one that got him into cosplay by introducing him to the various kinds of fabrics. It stemmed into a personal interest that he could lose himself in and distract himself from the loneliness.
- He practiced flirting on Kyoya back in middle school for the future host club once he had his heart set on it.
Kyoya:
- In the words of the great immortal J Michael Tatum "Kyoya is probably gay". It was something that didn't even occur to me until I watched him do an Ouran panel and then I was like holy shit the king makes a good point.
- While Tamaki was his gay crisis, he quickly realized that he would spend forever pining after him and eventually shelved his feelings. Tamaki was his best friend and that was more important to him than his feelings.
- Kyoya has always been a really keen observer of people's true intentions. He's excellent at reading people and knowing what they want from him. The only people he has never been able to read perfectly are Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi.
- He originally didn't want to be a doctor but he eventually wanted to prove himself so badly that he told his father that he would surpass his expectations no matter how high they were.
- Doing background checks on people is fascinating to him. It's not just for blackmail purposes but he likes learning people's weaknesses. He's also an excellent chess player.
Hikaru:
- The definitive over protective sibling. Anybody hurts Kaoru they will wish that they were dead. Kaoru is the most important person in his life and he would do anything to protect him.
- His tsundere tendencies come from a place of wanting to protect those he loves not out of anger.
- While he is begrudgingly worse at letting in other people once you fight your way through his walls he's actually a really amazing friend and s/o.
- His love of the fashion industry stems more from the model side of things than anything else. He can't design anything of his own to save his life.
- He never cared about any girls in his life before Haruhi came into his. Even though he didn't know how to deal with his feelings she was the first person who ever really showed that she cared about him.
Kaoru (my preferred Hitachiin sib):
- One big gay disaster that is absolutely crushing on Kyoya (I just learned about this ship today and it has stolen my life juice.) To blush when he's working with Hikaru to please the ladies all he has to do is think of Kyoya in his brother's spot.
- Is the far superior designer that can actually make really beautiful clothes. Most of the costumes that are worn by the club are designed by Kaoru.
- His hair is a lot softer than Hikaru's even though it's the same style, hair product and everything. I think that his would be more poofy and Hikaru's more spikey.
- Kaoru has always felt like he had to work harder to be like his brother that when you spend time with him alone at first it will be almost like you're talking to a replica of Hikaru and not a separate entity. At first it's a little bit awkward but once you get him out of his shell you find what a sweet and amazing person he is.
- Kaoru is an incredible skateboarder. He loves the feeling that he gets from the wind in his hair and designed his own skateboard. A lot of his hobbies outside of the club are athletic related causing him to have a more defined body than his brother since Hikaru is basically a cat.
Honey-senpai:
- If this boi could make cakes and pastries for a living without the threat of eating them all he would make the best sweets. He knows when something is just the right amount of sweet and when something is too sweet.
- He learned martial arts to be stronger because he knew that people would try to take advantage of him due to his childlike nature.
- Honey had a fight with his grandmother before she passed away over something completely selfish. That is why he is so attached to Usa-chan.
- Him and Mori were always really close, even as children and understand each other better than anybody.
- His constant animosity between him and his younger brother is because he feels like he is constantly being babied due to his personality.
Mori-senpai:
- Mori has autism. He is also selectively mute. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, the show itself gives them to me.
- Looks like a tough guy but in actuality would give the best hugs. I want a Mori hug. Haruhi probably gets the most Mori hugs because he is immensely protective over her.
- Aro-ace baby but gives the best platonic cuddles to any of the club members that are having parental issues.
- While he prefers spicy over sweet he does have a sweet tooth at random times of the day. Has been sighted at a local Cold Stone five minutes before closing in the dead of winter, while it's snowing outside by Kaoru and Kyoya while they were trying to find a place to get warm while out on a date.
- He actually didn't start his athletic endeavors with kendo, he started with ballet and gymnastics when he was really young.
And that's all my head-canons for the day! Happy anniversary to my favorite ridiculous throw everything against the wall and see what sticks to it romantic comedy. I hope that one day we will either get a season two or at this point it would be better to just do a hard reboot. Hoping that one day we will see our boys animated in high definition, even though I feel like an HD Tamaki would definitely kill me.
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