#maybe i will talk about it once the deadline passes
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SEVEN [SEASON 2] - 002 (PART 1)
PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[8.2k] A trip to Charleston leads to a wild chase through Kooksville and an unexpected reunion that turns the pogues worlds upside down, amongst other heartbreaking events...
WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of death, mentions of firearms, unestablished relationship, poor communication, tw // jiara mentioned, mild angst
NOW PLAYING‧₊˚
A/N‧₊˚ don't shoot me pookies, it's for plot value😬
˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗
IT WAS THE NEXT MORNING AND THE FOUR OF YOU WERE RIGHT BACK IN MR. SUNN’S CLASS. You had a permanent smile on your face from last night and something had shifted between you and JJ in the hours between then and now. While you were driving to school in the car you two had fixed up together, you’d made a joke about him being your passenger princess, the blonde laughing and then absentmindedly planting his hand on your thigh for the rest of the ride.
You were starting to feel like yourself after weeks of walking around like a ghost and you were holding out hope that after this was all over, once the cloud passed fully, that you could give JJ the answer he deserved.
Right now, you were muffling laughs as Mr. Sunn rambled about the current unit topic, you and JJ sending tiktoks back and forth, phones hidden under the desks.
“Mr.Sunn,” A man emerged in the open doorway, dressed down in a suit with an envelope between his fingers. Your laughter died as your attention went to him. “Can I borrow Mr. Heyward for a moment?”
The teacher looked dumbfounded between Pope and the man at the door, chalk clutched between his fingers. “Uh, we’re in the middle of a lesson.”
“My apologies, it won't be long. I’m from the Vanderhorst Foundation, Mr.Heyward was previously in the running for our scholarship.” He pressed once more, Mr.Sunn sighing and giving in, motioning for Pope to get up. Pope looked at the three of us before getting and leaving the room.
Your eyes met JJ’s across the room, both shrugging. Kiara was too engrossed with trying to peek out of the door from her seat. Even though the classroom was fairly quiet, it was still too far to hear any part of the conversation.
Maybe he was there to offer Pope another chance which would be, for one, great but also impeccably poor timing. You glanced up at your teacher as his attention turned back to the board, slouching in your chair and shooting a text in the group chat the four of you had.
You
think they’re giving him his spot back?
Kie
doubt it, the deadline’s more than dead :/
JJ
maybe they still want him, pope’s a certified genius
Just then, Pope came power walking back into the classroom, turning a few heads as he did so. He practically fell into his seat, turning around to face you, JJ, and Kie, holding the envelope the man from the foundation had in his hand just minutes ago — flipping it to reveal the very same wheat symbol that was branded into the gold bars.
“What the fu-” JJ started, gaining the attention of Mr.Sunn who had very teacher like expression of warning, causing JJ to trip over his words. “Fu-fudge…” He cleaned up. The teacher gave him a look and turned back around in his chair.
“We’ll talk about it after class.” Pope whispered, nodding and turning around his seat.
THE FOUR OF YOU BOOKED IT TO THE LIBRARY AS SOON AS THE BELL RANG, the middle-aged hag of a librarian shushing you at the door. You found an empty table and crowded it as soon as possible, all ears waiting on Pope.
“That was the guy from the scholarship committee.” He started, putting the envelope in the middle of the table. “But that’s not all. Read it.” He urged, JJ being the first to swipe up the letter but he hesitated to read. You were sat next to him, the both of you across from Kie and Pope, so you leaned over his shoulder.
“What? What’s wrong?” You asked. JJ angled the paper in your direction, eyeing the two people in front of him nervously as you immediately spotted the problem — the letter was written in cursive. JJ couldn’t read cursive. “Oh, it’s fine, I got it.” You reassured, gently taking the letter from the blonde’s hands.
“What?” Kiara asked, brown eyes fleeting between the both of you. JJ shook his head, wiping his palms on the fabric of his cargo shorts.
“Nothin’. I just, I can’t read cursive.” He dismissed cooly but you could tell the subject made him slightly insecure. “What does it say?” He deflected, looking back at you.
You cleared your throat before reading, paper clutched between both of your hands. “Dear Mr.Heyward, I am reaching out because I may have material evidence that can exonerate John Booker Routledge…” You trailed off, shocked eyes meeting those around the table before you continued reading. “...It is of vital importance that you come and meet with me in person at my offices at twenty-seven King Street, Charleston at eight PM sharp, tonight. Please come alone…?” Your face twisted at that. No way in hell was that happening. “Regards, C.Limbrey.”
“Charleston?” JJ exclaimed incredulously, eyeing Pope’s endlessly pacing figure. “That’s like an eight-hour drive.”
“Plus, the ferry.” You added. “If you want any chance of getting there tonight we’d have to leave, like, right now.”
“I have a free period.” Kie shrugged, sighing. “I gotta tell my mom, though…”
“Alright but guys?” You piped up, meeting each of their eyes before continuing. “If we get it this time, there’s no way in hell we are giving it to Shoupe. It's gotta go to higher ups or some shit.”
“Agreed.” JJ nodded, standing from his seat and grabbing his backpack, you following his lead before Pope, who was crouched in front of the library computer, spoke up.
“I think whoever this Limbrey person is, they might be related to the captain of the Royal Merchant.” He told the three of you, JJ and you sharing a look before rounding the table to stand behind the boy at the computer, a webpage pulled up — a biography for ‘Captain Herman Limbrey’.
Well. Charleston it is, then.
“I AM SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!” Kiara’s mom’s voice traveled through the rolled down windows of Heyward’s truck. You, JJ, and Pope were sat with the music playing lowly as Kiara attempted to reason with her parents about where she was going.
The family of three was visible from the driveway, but you could no longer hear the conversation as their voices lowered.
“They’re takin’ it really well.” JJ quipped sarcastically. You were sat in the middle of the two boys, Heyward’s truck not having a backseat made this drive even more dreadful. “How’d you get this rig?” The blonde asked the boy in the driver’s seat, referring to his father’s truck. “I know your old man didn’t let you have it.”
Pope spoke absentmindedly, eyes too focused on the girl arguing with her parents some feet away. “I undid the intake valves on the carburetor, made it start pinging.”
JJ nodded his head in approval, shifting his weight in the seat. “Mm, and now you’re just gonna 'take it to your cousin Jeff’s house, just gonna get it fixed, and crash overnight’.” He suggested to which Pope agreed. “I think I’m rubbin’ off on you, Pope. Lyin’ to your old man, stealin’ his truck…”
You quickly nudged the blonde in his side, shooting him a look. He held his hands up in mock surrender and bowed his head. “Ma bad. Sore subject.”
Pope simply sighed, tipping the hat on his head. “I’d say we have about eighteen hours before my pops loses his shit. So long as we get it back before then, we should be good.” Just then, Kiara came storming in the direction of the vehicle, yelling at her parents over her shoulder.
“I’m not going to boarding school!” She shouted, JJ opening the door for the both of you to get out and allow her into the car but she paused in her tracks when her dad began shouting.
“Look at your life, right now! Look at your life!” Kiara looked around at the three of you and then back at her father, shrugging carelessly and not sparing a word. Pope then peeked his head out of the driver’s side window.
“I, um, I promise to have her back at a reasonable hour and safe.” He threw out, holding his hand up as if he was asking permission. Kiara looked at him, shaking her head.
“Kiara, listen to me,” Her mother started, not exactly yelling but her voice traveled clearly. “You wanna go? Then go. But if you don’t come back at the proper time, then don’t. Come back. At all!”
You turned to Kie from your place next to JJ. “Hey, don't even worry about it. It’s the same threat each time, you know they won’t go through with it.” You told her quietly, in hopes of not offending her parents but offering her some sort of comfort.
Kiara didn’t say a word as she ducked into the car, you piling in as JJ squished himself in next to you.
“This shit would be so much easier without parents...” She scoffed, throwing her bag down on the car floor as JJ shut the passenger side door.
You and him both shared a look, knowing Kie probably didn’t fully think about what she was saying or who was around. You both grimaced at one another before looking away.
“God, 's so hot in here.” She complained throwing her head back. “Remind me why we didn’t take your car again?” She directed the question at you. “I mean, isn’t it drive-able now? You and JJ spent like every day working on it…”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t have the willpower to make it to Charleston and back just yet.” You told her with a small shrug. The girl simply groaned, trying to adjust herself in between you and Pope so it wasn’t so tight.
“Okay, could you stop moving like that? It’s making it hard to drive.” Pope inquired, pulling out of her driveway and heading down the road.
“There’s no space dude, there’s twice as many people in here than this car was built for.”
“Okay, JJ and Y/N, can you guys lap up or something?” The suggestion almost made you cough. Sitting on JJ’s lap for the next few hours did not seem like a good idea, considering recent events.
“Why can’t she sit on my lap?” Kiara asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Because she’ll block the rearview.” Pope threw out, annoyance growing in his tone.
You looked to JJ for some kind of reassurance, he simply nodded and motioned his hands for you to come on. The car was still moving so you tried your best to be careful, the blonde spreading his legs to make a little more room for you to sit between them.
Once you had yourself settled, it was almost like JJ didn’t know where to put his hands. He had them planted on his on thighs beforehand so he accidentally laid a hand on your thigh before quickly removing it.
“My bad.” He muttered nervously. You could see his face faintly in the passenger side mirror.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind. I’m the one kind of in your space, right now.” You shrugged, trying your best to come off nonchalant, as if this whole scenario didn’t make your heart go crazy.
“You sure? I mean, I got pockets, I can just-”
“It’s cool, JJ.” You cut him off reassuringly, the blonde hesitating before letting his hand make home on your thigh. You didn’t know how to sit, if you should lean back on him, anything. But you figured if you made it awkward, it was going to be awkward. So you took a deep breath and simply leaned back into him, the boy making no protest about the movement.
The only thing you couldn’t ignore was the growing erection that was pressing against your leg, harder by the minute. Heyward’s truck was no smooth riding vehicle, so the ride was quite bumpy. You could still see JJ’s face in the passenger side mirror and he looked mortified.
Neither of you were stupid — if you could feel it, you knew he definitely could. And if he could feel it, he felt terrible knowing you could too.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He muttered out, coming out more like a sigh as he ran a hand down his face. You shifted your eyes to the left to see Kie on her phone and Pope was too occupied with driving, probably deep in thought about how much trouble he was going to be in if his pops found out about all this.
“It’s-” You cleared your throat before speaking, shrugging one shoulder. “It’s fine. Shit happens.”
“Nah, it’s not.” He groaned. “I can try and move so you can sit more on the seat-”
You cut him off quickly. “We’ll be at the Ferry dock soon. Honestly, JJ. Don’t sweat it.” You said finally.
The action did make a small well of discomfort bubble in your stomach with your last sexual encounter being non consensual and traumatizing. Just because it was JJ didn't quell any of your anxiety but you were trying not to live life as a victim.
A few deep breaths and you were calming down.
You could understand his humiliation and had your relationship with him been in different place, maybe you two would have laughed it off. But with this newfound depth of your “friendship”, it had you both sitting in silence the rest of the ride.
“MY PARENTS ARE SO PARANOID ABOUT ME BEING A POGUE LIKE IT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN…” Kiara complained leaning against the passenger door of the truck. The four of you had it made it to the ferry just in time to catch the current ride. You and JJ, who was rolling a blunt, were sat in the back of the pick-up truck across from one another, Pope leaning on the side paying the three of you no mind. The awkwardness between you two had alleviated by the time you reached The Ferry, but the situation still lingered in your mind.
Seagulls squawked as the boat sailed the water, the sizable ship making its way slowly but surely.
“Hey, I hear they got good weed at boarding schools, though.” He replied optimistically. “Y’know, ‘cause all the rich kids got a shit ton of money to blow.”
Kie shrugged, dismissing the blonde’s hopeful piece of information. “I’m not going to boarding school.” She protested firmly. “If they want me to go, they’ll have to kidnap me. I don’t even know what their problem is. I mean, my dad was a pogue, you know that, obviously…” She trailed off, throwing an arm out in your direction. “They’re so hypocritical and overbearing. Why can’t my parents be more like yours?”
You couldn’t contain your expression of offense at Kiara’s words, the statement flowing so freely from her lips. So carelessly. “...You want a dead father and an underlying criminal mother who couldn’t give less of a shit about you?” The question was rhetorical but you wondered how she planned on explaining herself.
“Of course not, I didn’t mean it like that.” She cocked her head as if you were being unreasonable. “It’s just that, you can’t deny that this whole thing has been easier for you without parents watching your every move and breathing down your neck. That’s... all I was saying...”
You drew your lips into a thin line, arms crossing defensively. “Okay, well, my dad was murdered and my mother probably had something to do with it. Not to mention she tried to kill me, so not having two parents hasn't really been a choice for me, Kiara. But hey, ‘can’t deny that this whole thing has been easier’ for it, right?”
“I wasn’t saying-” She tried to defend with half a scowl on her face before Pope jumped in, JJ tapping your shoulder and offering you the blunt he’d been preparing. You took his from between his fingers, taking a long drag as Pope spoke.
“Okay, can we not argue? Please? I’m already mildly seasick enough as is.” He suggested, Kiara muttering a ‘fine’ under her breath as she adjusted her ponytail. “Kie, have you tried to hit JB back on that number?”
“Like, twenty-million times.” She groaned. “Some random lady at a hotel keeps picking up the phone.”
Pope sighed, shifting his weight. “Well, until they contact us again, we gotta keep trying to clear John B’s name. Right now? This letter is our best bet.” He concluded, rubbing his hands over his head. You turned slightly to be able to see him, offering the joint to the boy.
His eyes fleeted between Kie and the smoking object, contemplating. She simply crossed her legs and arms, offering the boy a mischievous smile. “What Pope are you gonna be today?” She asked.
He seemed to ponder for a few more moments before shaking his head, you retracting the blunt and passing it back to JJ as he spoke to Kiara. “I’m good, gotta stay focused.”
“I’ll take that.” JJ offered himself up, plucking the rolled object from your fingers with a smile.
Kiara simply nodded, her smile flattening out into a grimace. “Good Pope…” She said. “Boring Pope.” And you didn’t miss the way Pope’s face fell.
“I’VE READ THIS LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES AND IT STILL MAKES NO SENSE.” Kie explained from her place between Pope and JJ, you once again on the blonde’s lap as Pope cruised through Charleston. You’d gotten off the ferry a few hours ago, the sun now lower in the sky. “The Limbrey’s own like half of Charleston. What do some elite Kooks from Charleston known about a murder on Kildare?”
“I’m more concerned about why Pope specifically?” JJ questioned, eyes looking up at the driver.
“Yeah. ‘Please come alone’? That’s off-putting, to say the least.” You added, sitting almost slanted in JJ’s lap in order to lean on the door. You were both a little hazy from the weed so your nerves were a lot calmer.
“I had the same thought.” Pope chipped in. “I was thinking it’s probably because-” He cut himself off as a cloud of smoke erupted from the hood of his dad’s truck, blinding the road ahead. “Aw, shit, come on!”
“Pull over.” Kie demanded. “Jesus, that’s a lot of smoke. Even for your dad’s truck…” JJ began cough, you using your hand to cover his mouth as he rolled up the window. When he had it successfully rolled up, he gently removed your hand from his mouth.
“Pope, I got sensitive lungs, dude.” He coughed out. A filter of smoke filled the car, you trying to wave it from in front of your face as it made your eyes burn.
“I’m pulling over, okay?” Pope assured, but the car wasn’t slowing down. Pope swerved to the side but instead of pulling over, the car kept going off the curb until it was cruising through a patch of grass next to a quiet farm and you didn’t miss the rim that fell off of one wheel fly by the driver’s side window.
“Every time we let Pope drive, nothing goes right.” You muttered as the car came to an abrupt stop, the hood still smoking. You heard the engine die as Pope put both hands on top of his head.
“No, no, no…” He whined as he hopped out of the car, JJ following suit and helping you before jumping out himself.
“It’s gonna blow up.” Kie worried, crawling out of the passenger side herself.
“It’s not gonna blow up.” JJ told her, coughing one last time and rounding the hood as Pope attempted to fan the smoke away with his hat. “You most likely unhooked the radiator, Pope.” JJ suggested, eyeing the state of the vehicle. “Damn, you knocked the entire hubcap off.”
“Yeah, the Limbrey’s might have to take a rain check for tonight.” You added, scratching the back of your neck and eyeing Pope pitifully. The boy had a look on his face — somewhere between terror and disbelief.
“There’s still, uh, public transportation?” Kiara tried to reason, not seeming completely sure about the suggestion herself. You took it upon yourself to life the hood and examine the parts yourself, picking up a little bit about cars here and there from JJ.
“Yeah, it’s definitely the radiator…” You said aloud, sighing. Pope groaned loudly behind you.
“My dad’s gonna kill me!”
“No, he won't. I’m sure-” You were about to reassure the boy before you took one glance back at the car. The smoking, hubcap-less, mess of a car. “Okay, he might. He might…”
“Look, Pope, buddy, I’m sure there’s somethin’ we can do, right?” JJ offered, putting a hand on the solemn boy’s shoulder. You took the time to pull out your phone, you didn’t have many bars out here but enough to open up the ‘Maps’ app on your phone.
“There’s a mechanic garage about fifteen miles south of here.” You announced, looking out at your three friends. “Think your dad’s truck can make it fifteen more miles?”
THE SUN HAD COMPLETELY SET BY THE TIME THE FOUR OF YOU MADE IT TO THE GARAGE. What should’ve been a mere thirty-minute car ride took nearly an hour, Pope being too afraid to drive more than twenty miles an hour and making a pit stop to check under the hood again.
The boy in question was inside, negotiating with the owner of the shop. It was some place called Archie’s Auto Repairs, right next to a gas station and rest stop. You figured you were killing about three birds with one stone – car repair, refuel, and food.
JJ and Kiara were waiting in the truck while Pope spoke to the man in charge and you went inside to relieve yourself and get snacks. You were in the gas station bathroom, finishing up with washing your hands when you looked at yourself in the mirror.
Surprisingly, you didn’t look like complete shit. Your hair was a bit frizzy and you look tired but you looked better than you had in the last month. You felt better than you had in the last month. Ever since that text from John B came through, it felt like everything was returning back to it’s normal state, like your life had hit the refresh button.
And maybe after everything settles and John B is cleared, things could be different but in a good way. This new life you were building, with JJ and Marley, it was starting to make you envision you had never really seen before. A life with JJ as something more than a best friend. You’d thought about him like that a few times throughout your friendship but it was JJ. You needed him and you didn’t want to ruin something so special because you had an on and off crush. But this one stuck. Maybe it was the kiss, or the almost sleeping together, you didn’t know. But something in your head was screaming at you to give it a shot. Something inside of you was reaching for him, calling out for him.
So maybe, once everything was okay again, you could figure that out.
Leaving the restroom, you cruised down the aisles of the shops — candy bars, chip bags, and sugary drinks, the whole selection look appetizing when you hadn’t eaten in over five hours. You grabbed four sodas and two family sized bags of chips and took them up to the register, the older, gross looking man eyeing you up and down as he scanned your items.
“That’ll be nineteen sixty-eight.” He slurred, bagging your goods as you fished for the twenty in your back pocket. “You’re a pretty little thang, aren’t ya? How old are ya, darlin’?” He asked, leaning his arms on the cashier’s counter, bumping the register. You cringed, sliding the bill across the surface.
“Not old enough.” You sassed, snatching the bag from the counter and leaving out the door, the bell ringing above you as you left. “Perv.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes as your rounded the corner of the shop to see the truck come into view.
Just as quickly as you rounded the corner, you hid behind it. Your heart had stopped for a moment as your registered exactly what it was you had just seen. Biting your bottom lip, you slowly peeked your head around the corner to find that your eyes had in fact not deceived you — Kiara and JJ were kissing in the trunk of Heyward’s pick-up. She had both of her hands on his cheeks, pulling his face into hers as his own gripped the side of the truck for stability.
You immediately tore your eyes away when they pulled apart, hiding behind the wall once more. You couldn’t hear them. Maybe you were grateful for that. You were torn between wanting to cry and wanting lash out on them both. But maybe you had no right, maybe you were the fool in this situation.
It was JJ. JJ Maybank. Half of the female pogue population could probably describe in detail what was hidden beneath his pants. And Kiara? Well, who would turn her down? But she was supposed to be “with” Pope and JJ was giving you all types of green lights. But maybe you were blind and couldn’t see them for the red flags that they clearly were.
But you refused to cry. But that didn’t mean you weren’t pissed. You felt a bit played, in all honesty. And by JJ of all people. And how could Kie do that to Pope when he’s less than ten feet away? They weren’t together or anything, sure. But rules of friendship and respect just seemed so thrown out of the window in the past sixty seconds.
So, shaking it off, you rounded the corner with the bag in hand. JJ was scratching the top of his head while Kie fiddled with her fingers in her lap before his eyes found you, immediately perking up.
“And the potty princess returns!” He threw his hands up in celebration. “Ooh, did she bring snacks? What’s in the bag?” He asked, coming closer. When he reached you, you pressed the bag into his chest, attempting to keep him at a distance. Letting him have the bag and not even sparing the two another glance, you hopped into the passenger side of the vehicle, absentmindedly slamming the door shut in your silent rage. You hadn’t realized that one of your hands was balled into a tight fist. Loosing your hand, you left crescent-shaped marks in your palm.
You didn’t know how you felt or what you wanted to do about. So you just sat there, listening to the night air, the crickets, the cars that passed by. You felt like JJ had just stomped on your heart and you weren’t even sure if you could be mad at him for it. But you should’ve known.
You’re a pogue. There’s always a calm before the storm. Nothing good comes without something bad.
A COUPLE HOURS HAD PASSED. Pope had found an empty field to park the truck in — shaded by a large, thriving willow tree. None of you really had enough money for a hotel and the money spent on one would be a waste, anyway.
Surprisingly, there was no night chill in Charleston. The four of you opted to sleep in the trunk of the pick-up, using your jackets and flannels as blankets for comfort. You hadn’t spoken since witnessing what happened at the garage, even Pope was taking weird glances at you the entire ride.
At this moment, Pope was knocked out, Kiara right behind him. You felt a snarl of disgust edge your way onto your face when she leaned over to peck the curly-haired boy on his cheek before closing her own eyes and drifting off. What was she doing?
A part of you was angry that she and JJ kissed, of course. JJ had led you on with this ruse of giving yourselves time to figure out what was going between you two — whether is was grief-driven or genuine. And Kiara had been playing tug-o-war with Pope’s feelings for weeks, months almost, and the moment he has his back turned, she locks lips with his best friend.
As a friend group, you all had your moments. But you never went behind each other’s backs. Especially never like this.
So, you slept alone. As alone as you could, anyway. You were curled up in the farthest place in the trunk from the other three, closest to the front of the vehicle itself. The pit in your stomach was finally starting to settle as the beginning of sleep started to overtake you when a warm hand curled itself around your shoulder, startling you.
Your eyes shot open as you whipped your head to the side to find JJ’s face hovering over yours.
“Jesus.” You whisper-yelled, rolling your eyes before looking at the blonde once more. “What do you want?”
At your standoffish tone of voice and straight to the point question, the boy drew his lips into a thin line, letting his hand slide from your shoulder. “Okay, someone’s grumpy.” He tried to joke, a lazy smile on his face.
You stared blankly at him for a few beats, blinking. “Goodnight, JJ-”
“Okay, sorry sorry…” He protested quickly, looking behind him to make sure he didn’t wake the other two when the volume and pitch of his voice raised before looking back at you. You shifted to lay flat on your back, staring up at JJ as he stared down at you, leaning his weight on one of his arms. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been actin’ weird since we left that sketchy ass gas station.”
You simply cocked your head. “What’s wrong with me?” You whispered in response, an air of frustration surrounding your voice. “What’s wrong with you?”
He reeled his neck back at your reversal, his face twisting in confusion. “Wh-Nothing’s wrong with me. You basically threw a bag full of snacks at me and jumped into the truck. Did I say something? Was it the potty princess thing ‘cause you know I was just messin’ around.” He guessed, taking your lack of reaction and response as a sign that maybe that wasn’t the problem. “Did I do somethin’?”
“I don’t know, JJ. You tell me.” You pressed, eyes never leaving his own. He genuinely seemed to rake his brain for answers before settling on one that made your blood boil.
“No, I don’t think I did.” The statement sounded more like a question when it tumbled from his lips. You couldn’t do anything but scoff and roll your eyes, prompting the blonde to try and clean up his answer. “Yes? I don’t know what you want me to say here-”
“Nothing.” You snapped. You were so hurt and angry that you could feel your eyes twitching as you looked at him. “I don’t want you to say anything else to me.” You warned, shifting to turn on your side and effectively away from him. “Ever again.”
“...C’mon, Y/N. Are you just fuckin’ with me or somethin’?” When you didn’t reply, he put a hand on your shoulder, attempting to pull you over to face him. You just shook him off. “Can you tell me what I did?”
The sadness in his voice almost made all the anger fall from your bones but you couldn’t allow yourself to be the weak and vulnerable. Especially not for him. Not anymore.
“No. Now, leave me alone.” You mumbled, shifting to get comfortable for the last time, hearing him sigh and lay down himself behind you. You felt one single tear fall across the bridge of your nose before you closed your eyes. Maybe it was a misunderstanding or something, but your brain couldn’t come up with any explanation of excuse that could explain what you saw. You wanted to talk about it but then again you didn’t. But you knew eventually you’d have to, tonight just wasn’t that night. In a million years, you never thought you’d feel this way because of your best friend.
For the first time in your entire life, you didn’t trust JJ.
“THEY’VE RUN CHARLESTON FOR, LIKE, THREE-THOUSAND YEARS.” Pope explained as the truck pulled to a stop in front of a large, three-story, gated property. It was the next morning and the sun had quite literally just set in the sky. Pope had woken the three of you up at the very first crack of dawn so you could make it there ‘on time’. You’d tried to remind him that ‘on time’ would’ve been last night, but you let him hang on to hope.
It didn’t help that the truck was significantly more crowded. You weren’t eager to sit on JJ’s lap this time around and surprisingly, Kiara wasn’t eager to take your place. Thankfully, the house was only a couple hours from where you slept.
“These Kooks make our Kooks look like Pogues.” JJ proclaimed, staring out of the window and up at the large, standing building. “You sure this is the place, Pope?” He asked, in awe of the property.
“Pretty sure.” The boy sighed, opening the driver’s side door and exiting, JJ following right after as you and Kie exited the vehicle as well, closing the doors behind them. The four you walked up the black, wrought iron fence. Pope held the note in his hands, reading off the address in confirmation.
“Talk about home security…” JJ trailed off, looking at the rather sizeable, sharp points at the top of the fence.
“Are those spikes to keep people out?” Kiara inquired.
Taking a good look at the property through the bars, you noticed a couple of things. You shook your head, a look of disappointment on your face. “No.” You spoke for the first time in hours, the three of them turning to you as you pointed to a section of the yard. “The slave quarters are over there.” You explained, looking at the three of them. “The spikes were to keep people in.” Was the last thing you said before heading up the steps to the front door, the three of them following behind you.
You let Pope take the reigns when you reached the door, him knocking three times on the structure before you heard heavy footsteps coming towards it from the other side. Despite the footsteps, almost a whole minute went by before anything happened.
Pope, nervous and jittery, went to knock again — getting two good ones in before someone opened the door. A middle-aged white man with small, beady eyes and short light brown hair. The expression on his face didn’t look like one of someone who was expecting guests.
Leaning against the door frame, he eyed the four you individually before settling on Pope, an odd smile growing on his features as he pointed at you friend. “You must be Pope.” He said almost excitedly, crossing his arms. Pope stumbled for a response. “Ms. Limbrey was expecting you yesterday.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. My car…broke down on the way up here.” Pope explained, trying to mask his uneasiness.
“Carburetor blew up in the middle of Nowheresville.” JJ voiced from behind Pope. He didn’t look nervous at all, he looked ready for anything. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He said, little emotion to his voice despite the apology.
“Yeah, she was, uh, real upset when you didn’t show up.” The man told Pope, a southern twang to his voice, almost as strong as Shoupe’s.
“We tried to call but there’s no number on the invitation.” Kiara piped up smally, looking at the invitation as she spoke. “We got here as fast as we could…”
“She also expected you to come alone.” The male said, eyeing you, Kiara, and JJ as he said it.
“Well, he didn’t, so…” You added in, crossing your arms and eyeing the man up and down. “Where’s the ‘she’ with all these demands anyway?”
Pope edged in front of you when the man took a threatening step forward, JJ also shuffling forwards. “Look, these are my friends. They helped find the Royal Merchant, too-”
“The instructions were explicit.” He cut Pope off mid-sentence, eyes boring into yours as he leaned forward, his voice lowering to a condescending whisper. “Your friends…can stay outside.” He reprimanded, straightening out and turning back to Pope.
“We’re kind of a package deal, man.” JJ turned his nose up at the man standing between the four of you and the inside of the house.
Pope turned to the blonde. “JJ, it’s okay. I got this.” He assured, sending a small nod his way. JJ took his words at face value, sending a nod in return and taking a step back.
“We’ll be right here…” Kiara trailed off in support, sliding a gentle hand down the length of Pope’s arm. You simply rolled your eyes, something JJ didn’t fail to notice.
“We’ll keep the car running…” You warned, eyes never leaving the suspicious man in the doorframe.
“Well, c’mon now. Ms.Limbrey can’t wait to see you.” He said, stepping aside to allow a weary Pope into the mansion. The boy in question entered the home, not without a glance back at the three of you out on the front step, the door closing menacingly slow behind him.
“Fucking creep.” You scoffed, turning and heading down the steps swiftly.
“Hey, where are you going?” Kiara asked, running after you, watching as you walked the length of the wrought iron fence, examining the spikes.
“What does it look like? I’m gonna find a way into this…house of horrors.” You mumbled, shaking each of the poles for a weak spot, failing to find one. You resorted to attempting to climb the fence but didn’t even manage to get both feet up onto the structure at once.
“And do what exactly? What if you trespass and ruin all our chances at clearing John B’s name?” The girl asked, her face twisting in annoyance as you sighed and hopped down off the fence, turning to face her. Shifting your weight, you shoved your hands into your back pockets before speaking.
“Oh, like you did when you made Pope drop the camera?.” You shrugged, jutting out your bottom lip. “Y’know, the one that had the video of Ward killing someone-”
“That wasn’t even my fault!” She defended.
“I think we all collectively agreed that it was…” You argued nonchalantly, shooting the girl a grimace before walking off in the direction of the parked truck that JJ was leaning against, watching the entire interaction occur.
Before you’d turned away you could’ve swore Kiara opened her mouth to reply, but one warning head shake from JJ and her lips were sealing themselves shut. You were about to open the passenger door when JJ’s hand gripped your upper arm, the blonde staring out in front of him with a stoic yet pointed look on his face.
“Can you let go of me-”
“Does that look voluntary?” He asked, tone deep. You followed his unwavering gaze to find a blonde woman and the man who opened the door leading Pope further into the yard behind the gate. Pope was looking back pitifully at the three of you as the man pushed him forward and the woman, a cane by her side and a limp in her walk, led them both further into the greenery.
“Not at all.” You practically whispered back, attempting to take a step forward when JJ tightened his grip.
“Hold on, hold on.” You turned to him an impatient and questioning look on your face, throwing a hand out as a way to ask ‘what?’. “They’re goin’ around the back alley.” He said hurriedly, rounding the driver’s side of the truck as you hopped in the passenger side, Kie piling in beside you. “We’ll meet ‘em on the other side.”
JJ started the car, driving it slowly in order to draw too much suspicion — with the Limbreys or surrounding neighbors. You could almost hear all three of your hearts beating in panicked unison with every turn made. You didn’t know what these people wanted with Pope, but if they didn’t drop this whole super secret act, they wouldn’t be getting anything.
Driving and driving, and still no Pope. JJ eyes were focused ahead as you and Kiara looked to the sides of the road for any sign of him. “Where did they go?” Kie asked, peering out of the window. She sounded sad. The trio of you continued driving around, Pope nowhere in sight. You were starting to get worried, extremely worried.
If the Limbreys were like the Camerons of Charleston, there was no telling what they could be doing with your friend right now.
“Okay, stop the car.” You said, putting your hands on the dashboard.
“What?” JJ asked, although he slowed the vehicle down, bringing it to a stop on the side of the road. You reached over key and threw the passenger door open before climbing over the girl. “Where the hell are you going-”
“Ouch, that’s my- Ow!” Kie shouted.
You threw yourself out of the vehicle before standing up and dusting yourself off, looking side to side before deciding to go back in the direction the alley was in. Even if you didn’t see Pope, there was a way in and there was no way in hell you weren’t taking it.
You set off quickly in the direction of the alley, Kiara and JJ calling out for you before two pairs of footsteps were trailing behind you. You passed a few people on the sidewalk, unintentionally shoulder-checking them in your haste.
“Watch it!”
“Hey! Rude…”
Reaching the alley, you made a sharp turn into the greenery. You could hear grunts and groans that stopped you in your tracks — you were no stranger to the sounds of violence. Your power walk turned into a sprint, pushing leaves and branches out of your path before reaching Pope, who was beating on the creep who opened the door.
He had him pinned down to the concrete, both of them reaching for what seemed to be a taser. Your eyes fleeted between the two brawling guys and the weapon before you decided to kick the object behind you in the direction of Kiara and JJ.
Pope delivered one last blow to the man’s face before getting up. “C’mon.” You demanded, being the first to run away, back in the direction of the truck. The four of you took the short way — hopping over a cement wall that guarded a small portion of the yard.
The car was a few feet away since you ditched the scenic route, the four of you wasting no time in jumping in. JJ in the driver’s seat with the three of you piled in as well.
“Who the hell were those people?” Kiara panicked, out of breath as she slammed the passenger door shut.
“I don’t know but they’re crazy as shit!” Pope’s voice cracked as he settled into the vehicle. “We need to get out of here now.” He warned, wide eyes drifting in JJ’s direction as the blonde started the engine and hit the gas almost all in one motion as the vehicle leaped forward, sending you all down the road.
Near moments after JJ had hit the gas, leaving a smoke trail in his wake, you looked behind you to see a car speeding behind you, the fishbowl windows allowing you to see the driver clearly. “Creepy guy recovers fast.” You panted, looking back ahead of you and prompting JJ to peek in the rearview mirror, pressing the gas a little harder.
“Here we go now!”
Heyward’s truck was going faster than you ever deemed possible, flying down the road. “Hey, JJ, slow down. This is a one-way.” Pope warned, the truck never slowing down. JJ was too focused to hear much of anything, you were gripping the seat for dear life. “This is a one-way!” Pope got louder as JJ started to reach a busier part of the town. A car suddenly appeared in front of you, the headlights blinding.
“Car, JJ! There’s a car!” You warned, grabbing a hold of the steering wheel yourself and making a right turn before the truck could collide with the SUV. Rounding the corner, you almost collided with two pedestrians — the two heads of blonde and light-brown hair looking eerily familiar for the slightest of moments.
“Jesus, look out!” Pope and Kiara said in unison as JJ took back control of the wheel and avoided hitting the two people.
“Get out of the road!” JJ shouted as he redirected the car on the street.
“Those were pedestrians!” Kiara reprimanded, gripping the passenger door for stability.
“That was evasive driving technique right there, y’all!” JJ patted himself on the back as you turned to look out of the rear window to see the man still hot on your trail.
“You sure about that ‘cause he’s still following us.” You warned, looking at the blonde for the briefest of moments.
“Hang on, I’ll lose him.” JJ assured you all, making a sharp turn that sent the three of you crashing into each other. Just as he turned into an empty alley, a pop sound following a hiss of air and smoke came from the truck. “I thought you said he fixed carburetor!”
“He did!” Pope said as the car came to a stop of its own.
“No, Pope, he clearly did not!” JJ retorted as he opened the door, Kie doing the same on the passenger side. The four of you got out of the truck, fanning the air and coughing.
“Number one rule, never trust mechanics.” JJ spoke mainly to himself as you all grabbed whatever you brought along with you out of the trunk of the car just as the car following you pulled in the alley as well. “Shit. Go, go, go!”
The four of you booked, the smoke hopefully giving you a bit of time as you ran through the alley. You and Kiara looked behind you as you ran, seeing the man get out of his own car and tuck something into his jacket.
“He has a gun.” You muttered, looking back ahead as you ran. “He has a fucking gun!”
Pope and JJ glanced behind themselves, past you and Kie to see the man not far behind. The squad of you picked up the pace, making the first turn available but you swore you heard someone calling your names.
The man was picking up the pace as well, getting closer to you all. “We might have to split up!” JJ suggested from the forefront of the group.
“Are you crazy?” You shouted, being right behind the blonde. “No way!” You continued, almost tripping over an unleveled section of the concrete. JJ, not paying attention, ran into a mailman, sending the packages in his hand flying into the air.
“Sorry ‘bout that!” He apologized over his shoulder. JJ led you all into another alley, this one much narrower causing you all to run in a line. The guy was falling behind, which was a plus.
Coming out of the alley, you all came face to face with a couple on a bike almost getting run over by them. But after taking a longer look at the two people who almost pummeled you all with their bike, your heart dropped farther down in your body than it ever has.
Every single one of your five senses seemed to cease to exist in this moment. You couldn’t hear anything, white noise filling your ears as your vision blurred on the edges, only allowing you to see what you could only logically explain as two ghosts standing in front of you — a very much alive John B Routeledge and Sarah Cameron standing in front of you, covering in mud and dirt and who knows what else.
Whatever breath you had been holding in your lungs released itself, the release of air allowing your senses to return, almost like coming up out of the water.
All of your expressions were somewhere in between a blank stare and a smile. You wanted to reach a hand out to see if they were real.
“...Get in. Get in! Get in!” John B broke the silence. His voice hadn’t changed. It was exactly like you remembered. The four of you did as he said, still partially in shock, piling into the bike. You, Kiara, and Sarah crowded into the cab of the pedicab as JJ and Pope pushed it from the back as John B pedaled as hard as he could.
You couldn’t take your eyes off of his back as he pedaled, unless of course it was to direct the same blank stare in Sarah’s direction. The Limbrey guy plus two other men were chasing the group of you now, JJ and Pope hopping onto the sides after it gained enough speed to ride smoothly with the six of you on it.
The entire ride to the boat, your friends were whooping and cheering. And on the inside you couldn’t be happier or more relieved at how well the universe seemed to work in your favor but for some reason, your body wasn’t so eager to show it on the outside.
For a whole month, you’d grieved someone who wasn’t dead.
Once you reached one of Ward’s boats the Sarah knew the location of — My Druthers Too, you all wasted no time jumping into it, sailing in the direction of The Outer Banks. Back home.
feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.
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🌈 🍓 🐸 :D!!
🌈 Do you have certain colours you gravitate towards when creating?
i tend to go for greens and purples, because they're my faves! i have more shades green paper than anything else by a long shot, and the character i'm currently making cmics about has green theming haha. Purple is definitely my go to for pens and inks though... different applications i guess.
🍓 Do you have a dream project? What would you craft if you had infinite time and money?
i really want to make papercut comics! im working on one as soon as i finish this OCT- i've applied to a comics residency to work on it and hear back about that in a week or two, but i want to knuckle down and do it regardless. i was originally inspired to papercraft by a comic, actually (the flashback/legend sections in cucumber quest!) and i will eventually follow it through haha
🐸 What do you wish people who don't craft understood better?
i don't get frustrated with people misunderstanding my process really... what really drives me up the wall is when they categorise people (me, usually) as 'creative' or 'uncreative' (them), as if its a fixed state. Everyone has art in them! its a skill you improve the more you do it! This is why i run my city's zinefest and try to encourage people to make stuff no matter the skill level. its all good and important!
It also puts a lot of pressure on the 'creative' person to be good at things, which. I would also like to be absolutely shit at my pottery class in peace, thanks. im a beginner too 😭
#i have way more thoughts on comics stuff rn#idk if anyone cares that much#maybe i will talk about it once the deadline passes#unless people have questions
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Neighbors [Chapter 2]
Pairing: Frank Castle x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.8k
[Series Chapter List and Summary]
Warnings/tags: 18+; contains friends to lovers, violence, fluff, eventual smut, angst
a/n: Chapter two is finally up! I know many of you have been asking for it, so hopefully you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!
Tag list: @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mycobrakai1972 @stilllivindue2spite @luvr-bunnyy @pone21 @sleepysleepymom @urlocalgeek @buckysvinyl @ragamuffin285 @lollulroofl @hazallem @hellooooooooooooooo @kezibear
Chin resting in your hand, you sat at a corner table by one of the large windows in Common Grounds skimming over the documents on your laptop. A half finished latte was on the table beside you–the second one you’d had since you opened the shop about an hour ago now.
The deadline for filing taxes was just around the corner and here you were still needing to get everything finalized and officially sent in before it was considered late. Since Jaime had dropped Lily off at preschool this morning and you didn’t need to pick her up until the afternoon, you figured now was the best time to finish the frustrating and tedious task that you’d been repeatedly putting off. It wasn't often that you had free moments where you weren’t watching Lily or dealing with something at the coffee shop, so this morning while you were free you figured you’d try to finish working on it–even if you’d rather have been back home sleeping in before eventually making your way into the shop.
With your focus fixed on your laptop, you weren't remotely paying attention to whoever had walked in through the front door of Common Grounds, even if your ears had vaguely registered Allison’s usual friendly greeting from behind the counter while you worked. The typical morning rush at the coffee shop had ended about fifteen minutes ago and you’d long since stopped paying attention to every occasional straggler that passed through the door.
Left hand absently sliding along the table to grab your honey lavender latte, you reread one of the lines on your laptop’s screen, trying to make sense of all the frustrating tax language. Drawing the mug up to your lips for another drink, you tried to focus on the section you were currently reading, but your concentration was easily interrupted by a familiar, deep voice suddenly ordering by the register.
“Just a large coffee, black.”
Almost automatically your eyes slid over the top of your laptop, landing on the sight of none other than your new neighbor, Frank. His back was facing you as he pulled his card out of his wallet before sliding it through the card reader and paying for his drink. He was wearing his dark jacket again this morning and a pair of dark wash jeans. His expression looked fairly neutral this time from what you could see from the profile of his face–he wasn't smiling but he didn't look nearly as surly as when you’d first seen him yesterday, either.
Behind the counter, Allison sent him another friendly smile before turning around and beginning to make his coffee. As he slipped his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans, your eyes followed the movement of his hands, admittedly lingering on a particular part of him for a moment longer than necessary as his hands returned to his sides.
I wonder if he works out , you caught yourself thinking.
The memory of Frank crouching down to talk to your niece last night flashed through your mind as your gaze gradually slid its way up his back and towards his face again. You remembered the unexpected warm and friendly smile that had taken you by surprise when he’d accepted the cookies from Lily as you sat there. The memory of it began stirring up those confusing feelings inside of you once more. He certainly hadn’t turned out to be what you’d expected, at least after that second interaction you’d now had with him. You found yourself wondering if Cora was right, maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Maybe you'd just caught him in a bad mood yesterday morning.
You saw him begin to turn and make his way towards the end of the counter where customers picked up their orders and your eyes immediately darted back down to your laptop. Ducking your head, you pretended you were intensely focused on your laptop screen, desperately hoping he hadn’t caught you staring at him. You’d already embarrassed yourself enough with him thanks to Lily pointing out that you’d called him the grumpy man from the coffee shop, you didn’t need him to catch you ogling him next. That would certainly make things even more embarrassing and uncomfortable at this point.
“Are you always here?”
Sucking in a sharp breath, you froze in your chair. Hand curling tighter around the handle of your coffee mug, you felt your body tense at the sound of his voice clearly directed at you. Considering how uninterested he’d been in small talk just yesterday morning, you figured he’d grab his coffee in silence and leave. You hadn’t anticipated that he’d actually try to strike up a conversation with you, especially with him having a clear out because you obviously looked preoccupied at the table. He could’ve easily just grabbed his drink and left, ignoring you entirely.
Slowly your eyes shifted over towards Frank. He was leaning against the coffee shop counter, one of his elbows resting along it as his head cocked just a bit to the side, his eyes slightly narrowed as he studied you. One corner of his mouth was curled up just a fraction in something almost like a smile as he waited for you to respond. Clearing your throat, you tried to ignore the frenzied beating of your heart at the sudden attention from him.
“Usually,” you answered. “Sort of comes with being the owner of the place.”
Both of his dark brows rose marginally onto his forehead in something like surprise. You fought back the feeling of pride within you at his reaction. Though Frank quickly recovered, the look of surprise shifting into a smile that was almost as warm as the one you’d seen on his face last night when he was talking to Lily.
“Is that so?” he asked curiously. “You own this place?”
You shrugged lightly in response, your eyes catching sight of Allison’s head darting up from over his shoulder, staring at you from behind the counter. She was pouring the freshly brewed coffee for him into a to-go cup with a look of stunned disbelief on her face.
“Nearest Starbucks is about twenty minutes from here,” you said, focusing back on Frank and trying to ignore Allison behind him as she began frantically mouthing things to you. “Besides grabbing a cup of coffee from one of the local fast food joints, there really aren’t many options around here. Figured the town could use a coffee shop, so I opened one.”
Frank nodded his head, his eyes still on you. They looked far more friendly than they had yesterday morning when he’d been sizing you up, that was for sure.
“Yeah, I noticed that,” he replied. “Sorta the only place to go ‘round here for a good cup of coffee it seems.”
Unable to fight back a triumphant grin, it spread wide over your lips at his compliment. “Guess it just means you’re stuck with me while you’re here then,” you told him. When a brow curiously arched up onto his forehead at your comment, you quickly added on, “For coffee. Since there’s nowhere else to really grab a cup that doesn’t taste like burnt garbage in this town, I mean.”
Allison headed over to the counter with his cup of coffee in hand, setting it down onto the surface near where he was leaning. Her eyes were darting curiously back and forth between the pair of you now.
Frank ducked his head, chuckling a little before he pushed off of the counter. “Guess your right,” he agreed. “Looks like we're both stuck with each other then.”
He reached over, picking up his coffee from the counter while offering Allison a polite ‘thank you’ as he did. Her eyes grew wide when he’d turned back around to face you, her dumbstruck gaze focusing on his back. You had a feeling there were a plethora of questions already forming in her mind that you’d be hearing the moment he left.
Frank nodded his head once towards you. “You have a good day now,” he said. “S’pose I’ll be seeing you again real soon, though.”
Something warm fluttered in your chest as he turned, making his way towards the coffee shop exit. As he walked, drawing his to-go cup up to his lips for a drink, your brain fumbled to form a coherent thought. You only briefly recovered just as he opened the door to the coffee shop.
“You too!” you called out.
He was out the door with a small grin on his mouth, turning and making his way down the sidewalk and away from your shop without a backwards glance. Your eyes followed the back of him as he went, your mind reeling at the emotional whiplash of interacting with him once more. He definitely wasn't what you'd initially expected and you had no idea what to make of that.
Allison’s fingers loudly snapping in front of your face broke you from your staring seconds later and you jumped in your chair. Eyes flying over towards her, you saw her standing beside your table.
“Spill,” she said immediately. “What the hell was that complete one-eighty about?”
“I–I don’t know,” you stammered, watching as Allison plopped into the chair across from you. “I’m just as surprised as you are.”
“Well something must have happened,” she pressed, “because yesterday morning that man was all moody and rude, now today he's actually striking up small talk? Flirting with you?”
Cheeks heating, you focused back on your cup of coffee. You picked it up, bringing it up to your lips as you shook your head. “He wasn’t flirting, Ally,” you told her. “I think he was just being friendly.”
“Uh huh,” she said, waving the idea off with a dismissive hand. “So you must’ve run into him again since yesterday morning with the way he was talking to you. What happened? I want details.”
Drinking down some of your coffee, your eyes darted back down towards your laptop. You really needed to finish your taxes, but you had a feeling Allison wouldn't stop asking questions until you answered her. Figuring it'd just be easier to tell her about last night and move on, you released a soft sigh.
“You know that duplex next to mine that's been vacant for awhile?” you asked, lowering the mug to the table. “The one Cora has been struggling to fill?”
Allison nodded. “Yes, I remember,” she answered. “She said the other day she found a tenant when she’d come in for a coffee.”
You pointed a finger out the shop's window in the direction which Frank had walked off in. Though he'd since disappeared now, having turned a corner or gotten into his truck.
“That was him,” you told her.
Allison’s eyes grew wide as she audibly gasped. “What?” she asked in surprise. “ That beautiful man is your neighbor?”
Laughing lightly, you nodded your head. “Yeah, and it’s just him. Lily was with me when Cora was telling me about him moving in the other day, so she'd had this idea to bake him cookies to welcome him to the neighborhood.”
“She’s always such a sweet kid,” Allison mused aloud.
“Mhmm,” you agreed. “Thing is, she wanted to make cookies like we did for Valentine’s Day. You remember those?”
Allison burst into a laugh, throwing a hand over her mouth as she quickly tried to stifle the noise. She didn’t succeed and you couldn't resist grinning and laughing a little yourself at the memory of your own shock at who'd opened the door to receive those cookies.
“You mean to tell me,” Allison began, still trying to quell her laughter, “that you dropped off pretty heart cookies to that guy yesterday?”
“Yep,” you told her, still grinning. “They were pink and covered in sprinkles. Lily even insisted on using one of those Valentine’s Day plates for them. So of course I had to bring her over to deliver them with me because there was no way in hell I was going to do that alone.”
A snort of amusement left Allison before she bit her lip, shaking her head. You couldn't help laughing a little more yourself.
“You should have seen my face when it was him that opened the door,” you continued. “I was certain he was going to be an asshole. Throw the cookies on the ground or belittle Lily and I. But he was…surprisingly friendly. Even took a few minutes to talk to Lily and thank her for them. I practically had to drag her away before she could volunteer us to bake him cinnamon rolls next.”
Allison’s smile grew even wider, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Sounds like someone is doing a little matchmaking,” she teased, shooting you a wink.
You rolled your eyes, glancing back down at your laptop. “She's four, Ally,” you pointed out. “She was just being friendly. Besides, he's my neighbor.”
“Which makes it even easier for him to pop over for late night booty calls,” she stated matter-of-factly.
Your eyes flew up over the screen of your laptop, landing on Ally as they widened. She laughed at the look on your face, rising up from her chair as the door to the shop opened once again.
“That's bordering on very inappropriate work talk,” you quickly scolded her. “And that's the end of this topic of conversation, I think.”
“Uh huh,” she replied, a knowing smile on her lips as she made her way back towards the register. “Sure it is, boss.”
The moment the panicked cries met your ears, your eyes flew open and consciousness quickly returned to you. Pushing yourself up in your bed, you frantically began throwing the sheets off of yourself when you heard Lily’s distressed voice calling out for you in between the loud sobs that were coming from down the hall. It didn’t take Penny long to climb out of her dog bed at the noise, bolting out of the room before you’d barely managed to stand upright.
“I’m coming, Lily!” you called out to her.
Fighting back the fog of sleep you’d just abruptly woken from, you made your way out of your bedroom and crossed the few steps down the hall towards the room you’d long since turned into Lily’s for the night’s Jaime worked at the bar. Stepping into the room, you spotted her sitting up in her bed and clutching her stuffed husky version of Penny to her chest. The nightlight across the room cast her in a soft, pink glow as the real Penny sat beside her bed, her head resting along the mattress.
“Hey,” you greeted her softly, making your way over towards the edge of the bed to sit. “What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
Lily nodded her head quickly as soft sobs continued to fall from her lips. You could see the damp tear streaks on her cheeks in the dim light, the sight twisting your heart in your chest. You hated ever seeing anything but a smile on her face. Opening your arms to her in offer of comfort, she immediately lunged forward across the bed and wrapped her small arms around you in a hug. You held her tight in return, rocking her gently against you.
“I’m sorry, coffee bean,” you whispered. “It was only a dream though. It wasn’t real and it can’t hurt you. And you've got Penny and I here with you.”
“I don’t want to sleep,” she whispered back, her little voice cracking from where her face was buried against your shoulder. “Don’t make me sleep, Nini, please?”
You sighed, eyelids slowly lowering as you continued to hold her against you. It must’ve been a real bad dream if she was saying that tonight. Often you wondered what her bad dreams were about when she had them, though you’d never pushed for an answer. Though by now you knew there was only one guaranteed way to get the bad dream out of her mind so she’d go back to sleep tonight and not keep you both awake all night long. You found yourself grateful that it wasn’t winter anymore.
“Do you want to go sit outside for a minute?” you asked her. “Look at the stars and calm down?”
She nodded her head against your shoulder, sniffling slightly. One of your hands lightly patted her back.
“Alright, let’s go grab our coats and shoes,” you said.
Reluctantly she released you, though one of her little hands quickly found yours while the other still gripped her stuffed husky. Both of you slid off of the bed and made your way out of the room and down the short hallway towards the stairs. Penny dutifully followed along after the pair of you.
There was a few minutes of silence as you and Lily slipped your shoes and coats on in the front entryway of the living room before you both made your way through the kitchen and over towards the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. As you unlocked the door, your gaze landed over on Penny who was now wagging her tail behind you, excited about the prospect of going outside.
“Uh uh,” you told her, shaking your head. “You slipped your collar a couple of nights ago and I don’t feel like chasing after you around the whole neighborhood at two in the morning. So you’re staying inside.”
Penny grumbled back at you, swinging her head around in a circle in her husky equivalent of an eye roll. You figured she was probably upset at hearing the word ‘stay’ mixed into what you’d said. But you shook your head again at her, too tired to even want to think about her slipping her collar and sneaking her way out of the old and worn wooden fence that surrounded the yard right now.
“All your own doing, girl,” you told her. “Don’t like it? Stop sneaking out of the yard and making me chase after you. Until then, you stay put.”
With another irritated and prolonged grumble, Penny slowly lowered herself down onto the kitchen floor. Lily giggled lightly at your stubborn dog as you focused back on the door, pulling it open and stepping outside with her hand once more holding onto yours. Though as you both stepped out onto the patio, you quickly noticed you weren’t alone in the backyard.
On the small neighboring patio next to yours, you spotted Frank sitting in one of the patio chairs with his legs kicked out before him, his solemn gaze fixed up above on the night sky, one of his hands absently running across his mouth. But he quickly snapped out of his thoughts seconds later when he registered the sound of your back door having slid open. His head turned over his shoulder towards the pair of you where you’d stopped frozen in your tracks.
“Sorry,” you apologized quickly, uncertain of what else to say. “I didn’t see you out here, we didn’t mean to bother you.”
Frank’s eyes dropped down onto Lily beside you, her hand still holding tight to yours while the other clutched her stuffed husky to her chest. You noticed the way his gaze softened instantly when he’d focused on her, probably noticing her red puffy eyes from having just been crying.
“‘S’alright,” he replied, his gaze sliding back up to you. “Not just my backyard.”
Drawing his feet in towards himself, he began to rise out of his chair. You winced, feeling bad for practically kicking him out of the space he’d been in first. But he’d barely risen to his feet before the sound of Lily’s voice stopped him.
“I had a bad dream,” she said softly. “Do you get bad dreams, Frank?”
Frank froze halfway out of his chair, a muscle twitching in his cheek as the moonlight above illuminated his face. Your brows knitted faintly together as you watched his entire body tense at her question. Gradually his attention fixed back onto your niece, his eyes a confusing mix of emotions that your tired brain couldn’t quite read.
“Yeah,” he answered. “I do.”
Something about the heavy tone in which he’d answered her had caught your attention. His words felt like a loaded answer, one with more meaning behind it that you found yourself curious about. What sort of bad dreams did he have? Were they the reason for the often gruff exterior he seemed to exude? Was it anything to do with why he was here by himself?
Though of course, you weren’t remotely about to ask him a single one of those questions.
Lily dropped your hand, her arms both holding the stuffed dog to her chest in a hug as she crossed the small distance over to Frank's patio. You frowned, shoulders sagging at her once more being the four year old she was who couldn't help inserting herself somewhere she shouldn't be.
“Lily, please don't–”
“What makes you feel better after a bad dream?” Lily asked Frank, cutting you off as if you hadn't even begun to reprimand her. “I go outside with Nini. The stars are pretty to look at.”
You shot Frank an apologetic smile before focusing back on your niece. Taking a step forward, you reached a hand out in an attempt to direct her back into your side of the yard. “Lily,” you began again, “you can't just go barging into his yard and asking him personal questions. That's not polite, coffee bean. Especially not at two in the morning.”
Frank glanced up at you, shaking his head lightly. “It's alright,” he assured you. “She’s not bothering me. The opposite, actually.”
Taken aback by his response, once again considering the hour and your niece’s intrusive question, you were surprised to see Frank settle back down into his chair. There was a small smile on his face as he rested his fidgeting hands in his lap, his attention returning to your niece as Lily continued over onto his patio, climbing up onto the patio chair beside his as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do. Standing with the toes of your shoes in the grass just before his patio and at the edge of your yard, you weren’t even sure how to react at this point.
“I like to look at the stars sometimes, too,” he told Lily. “Sometimes they’re calming for me. Other times I might read a book.”
Lily smiled, her little legs not quite reaching the ground from where she sat in the chair absently petting her stuffed dog. “I like when Nini reads me books. She does good voices,” she told him.
Frank’s attention briefly shifted over to where you were standing, something still indecipherable written on his face. Despite the slight chill of the spring night, you felt something warm creep up your neck and flood your cheeks. Nervously you wrapped your arms over your chest, the weight of his gaze once more drawing forth some confusing feelings inside of you.
“Does she now?” Frank mused.
“Mhmm,” Lily replied, beginning to swing her legs back and forth. “I like when she reads the monkey book.”
Frank’s mouth twisted into a sad smile, his gaze dropping down towards his booted feet that had begun toeing the pavement beneath them. Your brows pulled together a bit, a crease forming between them as you noted the slight shift in his mood. He was quiet for a moment before you heard him speak again.
“Used to read One Batch, Two Batch to my daughter every night,” he murmured. “Was her favorite book. Sometimes that’s what she wanted me to read when she had bad dreams.”
“Nini reads that book to me all the time!” Lily exclaimed, excitedly sitting forward in her chair. “That’s where Penny got her name!”
“Is it now?” Frank asked, glancing up at her.
Even from his profile you could tell the look on Frank’s face hinted at something more hidden behind what he’d said. His use of past tense hadn’t gone unnoticed even to your tired ears, either. You could practically feel a sadness exuding from him where he sat in the chair, chuckling softly as Lily bounced up and down in her seat telling him about how she’d helped you name your husky when you’d adopted her not too long ago. But as she continued to enthusiastically tell the story, you could tell that sadness never seemed to fade from his expression.
“Hey, Lil?” you said, cutting in when you found an opportunity.
She paused in the middle of her storytelling, the pair of them focusing on you where you still stood at the edge of your yard. You knew if you didn’t stop her now, she’d probably sit there talking to Frank until the sun came up, and while it oddly looked as if he almost wouldn’t mind that, you definitely felt it was time to usher her back inside to bed before she’d be too awake to fall back asleep with how excited she'd already become.
“Maybe we should tell Frank goodnight and head back inside?” you suggested. “It’s late and I’m sure he needs to get to sleep at some point, too. Besides, I’m dropping you off at your dad’s in the morning and I think you’ll want to be rested to spend the day with him, right?”
The excitement quickly fell from Lily’s face and you fought the ache in your chest at the sight. It had been great seeing her happy after how you’d just found her in her room, but you really did need to get some sleep and so did she. If she continued on talking to Frank like this you knew she'd be wide awake talking for the next hour.
“How about I let you bring Penny’s bed into your room for the rest of the night, hmm?” you offered. “Let her sleep in there with you, too?”
The smile immediately returned to her face as she scooted off the patio chair. “Really?” she asked, hopping up and down on her feet. “She can stay with me tonight?”
You nodded, barely getting an affirmative out before Lily was darting past you back towards your sliding door and calling ‘goodnight’ out loudly to Frank as she went. She was back inside your place and darting presumably up to your room to get the dog bed with Penny bounding along behind her in no time.
Frank’s soft chuckle drew your attention back towards him. Your arms were still hugging your chest as you sent him yet another apologetic smile.
“Sorry for interrupting your evening,” you told him, gesturing your head towards the direction Lily had disappeared. “She’s not very shy, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Doesn’t quite understand when she's being rude instead of friendly.”
Frank’s hand ran across his mouth as he shook his head, a glimmer of something in his eyes as he looked up at you. Your stomach fluttered nervously at the realization of just how alone you currently were with him.
“Seems like a real good kid,” he told you.
“Yeah,” you said, smiling fondly. “She is.” Clearing your throat, you took a step backwards, aware that you needed to get back inside. “Sorry for bothering you, though. I’ll uh, leave you to it.”
Turning around, you made your way back towards your side of the duplex. Once again you’d found that Frank had surprised you with how sweet he was with your niece, though learning he had a daughter certainly seemed to explain that away. You wondered if he and his wife had recently separated or divorced and that was why he was out here looking so melancholic.
Just as your hand grabbed onto the handle of your sliding door, pulling it open, you heard Frank’s voice from behind you. You paused there on the patio at the sound of it.
“You’re good with her,” he called out.
Biting back the smile on your face, you glanced back over your shoulder at him.
“Could say the same about you,” you called back.
He let out an amused huff, ducking his head almost bashfully at your compliment. That smile was further threatening to take over your face as you heard Lily loudly talking to Penny upstairs inside your duplex.
“Goodnight, Frank.”
He looked up at you from beneath his lashes, his head still partially ducked down. There was a ghost of a smile on his face as he nodded back at you once.
“G’night,” he replied.
Stepping back into your place, you found yourself smiling to yourself as you shut and locked the sliding door behind you. As you began to slip off your coat and shoes in the kitchen, you wondered if maybe having him as a neighbor wouldn’t be half as bad as you’d first thought.
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Cruelty & Empathy 18+
gif by @romulussy
Summary | A night alone in the office has Roman and his assistant escalating their tension past a point of no return. The aftermath of which leads to confessions that will change the trajectory of their relationship forever.
Genre | Angst, Fluff, Porn With Plot
Content | anxiety, biting, blood, bondage, choking, crying, dom/sub tones, degradation, dirty talk, mentions of past physical abuse, power struggles, thigh riding, sadomasochism, slapping, spitting
Word Count | 8.5k
A/N: Y’all this fic is fuckin’ filthyyyy… but like in a romantic way??? I wasn’t going to share it but my best friend insisted. If y’all hate this I volunteer as tribute for boar on the floor lmao
Roman Roy’s Office | 10:33 pm
He was sprawled out across the couch as if this were his family’s private estate. It might as well have been. The building’s climate control always seemed to be blowing a peculiar air. One that felt like his father breathing down the back of his neck at all times. Left calf draped over the backrest, right hand cradling a whiskey, and head tilted back over the armrest. His once-slick hair now hung limp, with loose strands reaching for the carpet below. His upside-down gaze willed me to stop my attempts at meeting our deadline and to focus solely on him instead.
My bank account's dwindling had my morals emaciated. They’d weakly played tug of war with my last braincell when I'd accepted Roman’s job offer nearly two years prior. About 6 months into being his assistant, I found myself earning another role: his best friend. His only friend. My typing picks up speed as I contemplate what level of fucked-up I had to be in order to actually enjoy this job. I decide it must have been top-tier when my thoughts drift to the one Roy that had me feeling this way.
In the past 22 months, I came to understand Roman better than anyone else ever had. He somehow wormed his way into gaining just as much insight into me as well. It made me feel strangely protective over him. Oddly enough, he seemed to reciprocate. We still rarely aloud ourselves vulnerability in the presence of the other. We much preferred self-immolation. I don’t think he ever intended to grow so attached to me. He certainly would never admit to it. If you had asked me if the feeling was mutual, I’d lie through my teeth.
I loved him madly.
I don’t exactly know when or how it happened. I do, however, vividly remember when I first realized he held something soft for me.
Siena, Italy | 4:21 am
He was drunk off his ass, his head resting on my shoulder. He had been leaning into my frame for support long before he even needed it. Roman mumbled something about liking me because I was the only “sad sack of shit” in the office who could make him laugh. I asked him why I was a sad sack and not just a regular sack. He blew out a huff of air, causing his lips to trill. The sound was quickly preceded by the flipping of his wrists in a few circles.
“Isn't it obvious?” I nudged my shoulder against his head.
“Because I work for your sorry ass?”
He clumsily tapped the tip of my nose with his right pointer finger, nearly blinded my left eye in the process.
“Bingo, bongo, banjo.” The nonsensical words tumbled out and the rest of his drink tumbled in. “Itstheeyes.” I’d been unable to make out the slurred syllables mumbled just under his breath. For all I knew, they could’ve been Latin for ‘bastard’.
“What?” He dropped his now-empty glass into a historic fountain as we passed. I stopped to try and fish it out, but he dragged me away. I remember wondering if he had made a wish on it in his drunken haze. Rich and careless enough to pretend it was a penny. Maybe that had been why he was so adamant about me not retrieving it. My mind wandered as I pondered what Roman could have possibly wished for. His father's approval? An endless supply of luxurious Korean face creams? A pair of stunning Italian supermodels to lean into instead of me?
Tripping over his own two feet, I instinctively gripped his bicep. Stubborn as ever, he shoved me and muttered something along the lines of 'fuck off'. God forbid he’d take my help. Throwing my hands up, I left him to walk alone a few steps ahead of me. He weaved for a while before slowing his pace until he could lay his head back on my shoulder.
A beat passed, where the only sound was the soft crunch of our shoes against the weathered cobblestone. I caught one of his bleary eyes peeking over at my face. Content with whatever it was he found, he nodded to himself.
“Yep.” He popped his lips on the 'p' and absentmindedly kicked a pebble from our path. “It's the eyes. Sad sack of shit eyes. You've got 'em.” The laugh that had left me seemed much too loud as it ricocheted off every crumbling brick ahead of us. Roman smiled proudly for a moment. “I love your laugh.” The words were said mostly to himself. My cheeks warmed considerably.
“Really? It's obnoxious as all hell.” His brows furrowed, and he shook his head.
“No, it's fuckin’—fuck off. No, it's not.” He kicked another stone. “It's pretty. Pretty like… like your face.” Pretty. “Nothin’ like a hyena.” Hyena? “I think I'm gonna puke.”
He did.
Roman’s Office | 10:47 pm
“Hi.” A small voice lounging across from me pulls my attention. I look up from the computer and rest my head in my hand, my elbow propped on his desk.
“Hi.” I smile softly with a raised brow.“Need somethin’?” The grin that breaks across his features is almost childlike. His big brown eyes could even be mistaken for innocent; I knew better.
“As a matter of fact…” Extremely happy to have garnered my attention, he pulls himself to a sitting position. “Yes!” With a swift motion, he slams his whiskey onto the coffee table. The sharp sound of glass on glass reverberates throughout the room.
“Yes?”
“Yes?” His voice drops into a cartoonish impersonation of my own. His hand was still clasped around his drink for some reason. Flipping his face up to me with a saccharine simper, he adds, “Will you kindly suck my cock?”
“Will you kindly go fuck yourself?” My impression of him was just as cartoonish as his of me. The hand holding my head returns to typing. Groaning loudly, he lets go of his glass to dramatically fall back into the couch.
“Will you? ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ bored!” He drags out his words until they turn to whine. “This is fucking boring. Aren’t you bored?”
“Yes, you’re extremely boring.”
“Hurr-hurr.” He mocks while crinkling his nose. “I’ll have you know I’m anything but and am widely known as delightful company.” A snort escapes my nose and Roman smiles.
“Really? I thought you were widely known as a terrible person.” He rolls his eyes as I quote his cousin.
“Yeah, yeah fuck you.” He gives me the finger. I flip him off in return. “The fuck does Nosferatu fuckin’ know anyways?” The nickname makes me chuckle and has Roman mimicking Greg. “Oh, I—I couldn’t help but—couldn’t help but notice that my gargantuan height may be alarm—alarming the schoolchildren. I—is that why Iverson is um c—crying? Or is he like, I—I mean, is he… y—ya know… special?”
The laughter still bubbled up uncontrollably even as I tried maintaining focus on the task at hand. My passive interest towards Roman was annoying him to no end.
“Come on! I want entertainment! Entertain me, woman!” I roll my eyes. A cinnamon tinted stare was steady burning apertures into my features, willing me to stop ignoring him. “Come—Come on…” His hands outstretch in my direction, middle and index finger beckoning quickly. “Come show big daddy watcha got.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, my typing stops and I fully turn my attention towards him. His face contorts in a grimace already knowing what was to come. My brows raise as I slowly repeat his words back to him.
“Come show big daddy what I got?” Roman’s hands drag down his face and he groans loudly as soon as big leaves my mouth.
“Oh, fuck y—shut the fuck up.” He sinks lower into the couch with high hopes of it swallowing him whole. The smile that breaks across my features is downright malevolent. I couldn’t recall having ever seen him this embarrassed. Surprising, considering all the lewd shit he spews at me daily. There was something sick inside me that enjoyed it. The urge to play cat rather than mouse overtakes me.
“No, no, no. I just want to understand you clearly, Mr. Roy.” Our dynamic had never been much of a professional one. I couldn’t recall the last time I had addressed him so formally but I wanted to really get under his skin. Oddly enjoying my place in its prickled embrace. Rising from my chair, I place both palms on the desk and lean forward with a pout. “Are you saying you wanna shut me up with your cock, big daddy?”
“I’m going to fucking kill myself.” He was pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Aw! Weawwy, Daddy? Jus' 'cause I won't suwck yo big thick cock?” At that, a cushion flies towards my head. I narrowly catch it as I’m doubling over in laughter. He’s standing now, hands overtly animated.
“I swear to GOD, I’m going to fucking—fuck! Fuck you! Out the window!” He’s angrily pointing towards the giant window panes beside him. “I’m going to throw you out the fucking window!”
“Oh wow, you’re gonna fuck me out the window?” His face was the deepest shade of crimson I had ever seen it.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to Christ I’ll—“
“You’ll what?” I was doing a piss-poor job at stifling my laughter.
“I just fucking told you. Ass through glass.” He dismissively waves a hand in the air.
“Bullshit.” Finally looking at me, I cross my arms. His eyes flicker to my chest. “You don’t have the balls.”
“Are you saying I don’t have the balls to murder you?” The words come out in a bemused laugh. “I could murder the fuckin’—murder the shit out of you. Easily.”
“Okay.” With a shrug of my shoulders, I feel a dark coil in the back of my mind start to twist. “Prove it.”
“Prove it? You want me to—to what? Throw you through the goddamn window right now?”
I smirk back at him with a shrug, an inkling I had about him spilling to the forefront of my mind. It colors my vision and stains my tongue. If there was ever a time to find out if my suspicions held true, for some reason, I decided that now was the time. The office was definitely empty at this hour, and the privacy blinds were drawn, so no cameras. Risky as all hell, but if things go south, maybe I could play it off as riffing. I could be quite the convincing liar when I needed to be. My mother saw to that.
“See? I knew it.” With hands on my hips, I tilt my head to size him up. My tone shifts into something silky as sin. “You won’t do shit.” The air begins filling with static causing Roman’s lips to twitch. “You and I both know it. Don’t we…” I slide out from behind the desk, feeling taller as I grow closer. Feeling bolder seeing him swallow. “Romulus?” Using his father’s nickname for him causes his nostrils to flare. A clench in the jaw, a quick exhale. I fucking knew it. “So why don’t you just…” Fully standing in front of him now, I look down with a smirk “sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up for once in your life.”
The air was now overcome with static. Thick and heavy. The subjugated desire etched into his features felt so familiar to me. While I had never seen him this way, or anyone else for that matter, I myself had given that look many a time. That inkling I had was no longer an inkling. It had grown roots that smiled with wicked teeth; I was right.
The electric silence between us started to prick at my skin. My bottom lip twitches as it fought against every instinct to fill the silence with some form of an apology. To try and turn my sudden shift from dominance back into normalcy. His eyes dart to my mouth immediately; he knows.
“Make me.” His head slowly tilts upwards, as do the corners of his lips. The heat that had been slowly brewing between us for well over a year licks up my thighs. He was sneering up at me as we stood toe to toe. His burnt espresso eyes had my mind spiraling in their steam. The look on his face said everything. He saw me, he had me, he called my bluff, he won.
No.
My hand wound itself in the silky hair at the nape of his neck and I use it to jerk his head back. His jaw immediately goes slack. Something akin to a whimper escapes his throat. Surprise has my brows raising and Roman feeling embarrassed. His heavy lids fall and he turns himself away. Reaching up with my free hand, I grip his jaw until he’s facing me once again.
“Look at me.” He does in an instant and I’m flooded by a mixture of emotions. Relief, power, love. I never want to forget how he looks beneath my hands. The way his pupils eclipse the hazel of his eyes. The way his freckles scatter under the pinkish hue of a blush. The way his lips part slightly as his breath shakes out across them. Just as my eyes dance across his every feature, his do mine. Is he etching my features into his own memory?
He attempts to lean forward but I hold him steady. Roman wanted to kiss me but I wanted to tease. I press my lips beside his mouth before trailing them along the smooth path of skin leading to his ear. Sucking his skin into my mouth, I bit gently. A soft sound of content slips from his lips, so I trace up the shell of his ear with my tongue. Upon my return, I bite down once more; harder this time. Just as my teeth release him, the fist tangled in his hair gives a sharp tug. His hum bleeds into a moan that has me squeezing my thighs together. A cool plume of air billows past my lips along the now damp skin; goosebumps erupt immediately. I slide my hand from his jaw until my fingers wrap around his throat to hold him.
“Do you like this, Rome?” The soft whisper has him murmuring his satisfaction. “Come on…” I lightly squeeze his throat. “Be a good boy and use your words.” When I pull away to look at his face, I find his lids are nearly shut.
“Y-yeah.” He swallows in an attempt to steady himself. It doesn’t. “Y-yes, I like it.” He could barely look me in the eyes and it made my stomach flip in the best way possible.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this.” The words slip out before I have the chance to stop them. He inhales sharply, and the air seems to rattle through his skull. His eyes quickly leave mine as his face warms considerably. My heart beats as if it were trying to rip itself from my chest and collide with his. The blood rushing in my ears was chanting 'I love you' over and over again. My teeth dig into my cheek until the taste of blood envelops my tongue. I'm raging a war with my own body in silence. This newfound power was locking talons with my own subjugated nature and death spiraling through the emotion in my chest.
His pulse was racing underneath my thumb. My voice cascades over his flushed skin as I let feather light kisses rain upon him. His first name glides along the tip of his right cheek, his last over the tip of his left. Hovering just out of his reach, I whisper into his open mouth.
“Tell me what you need.” He desperately tries to press his lips into mine but I just pull back. He grunts in frustration.
“Just fuckin’ kiss me already.”
“No.” Releasing my grip, I shove him into the couch. He trips backwards, gracelessly collapsing into the cushions. I climb onto his lap with my knees pressed to either side of his hips. With one hand, I weave my fist around his tie and pull him to me. My other grips his jaw tightly. “You wanna try that again?” His jaw clenches beneath my fingers. His eyes were wild as they flared up at me. Suddenly, his hands lock onto my hips, hard. He pushes his face into my fingers until the tips of our noses bump together.
“I said, just fucking kiss me and I meant do it now.” His words were caught somewhere between a hiss and a growl. He never could handle the word no, so his response shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. The power I’d been holding over him was now leaking through the lace under my skirt. My thighs instinctively flex around him and it has him digging his fingers in harder. A liquid heat spreads through my chest at the thought of later seeing the bruises he was surely leaving behind.
“Well?” My teeth clench and the hand holding his jaw twitches. The attitude lacing his voice drug it’s nails up my spine as I’m reminded of how entitled he could be. He wasn’t supposed to be the one making demands anymore. His smile twitches as a darkness blooms behind his glee. “You wanna hit me don’t you?” My grip loosened; my lungs suddenly feeling like he held them in his fist.
“W-what?” I didn’t want to hit him. Did I? He was selfish, he was arrogant, and he could be so goddamn cruel. Still, the urge to physically harm him was something I had never once encountered. Knowing the history of his childhood and having bared witness to his father’s present day violence against him had made me hyper aware of the constant pain pulsing below his surface. My eyes rapidly blink as they search past his burning stare and into the darkened crevices of his soul.
Oh—he wanted me to hurt him.
His need for it radiating from the blackened pits to scald me. It scared me. It scared me because it felt dark. It felt wrong. But it scared me the most of all because suddenly in this moment, I wanted to. “I-I don’t-“
“Shut the fuck up.” Again, my teeth clench and my grip retightens on his jaw. His smile grew. Mother fucker knew what he was doing. He was basking in it.
He reaches for my hand wound in his tie, quickly unraveling before bringing it to his throat. His own then slide towards my ass. Gripping tightly, he pushes me down against his length to make sure I felt how badly he wanted this. He throbbed against my center; he wanted it bad. “Listen to me. You’re gonna let go of my jaw and you’re gonna fuckin’ slap me, aright?” I nod and release him. “Fuckin’ hit me.” As I draw back my palm, his tongue peaks out to wet his bottom lip.
Slap.
My palm makes contact and brushes across his cheek. It was a sad attempt really. Weak. Even though I knew he wanted it, needed it, something inside held me back.
I was still scared of harming him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Come on!” He roughly digs his fingers into my ass, significantly harder than before. “I said fucking slap me!”
Crack.
I slapped him. Hard. His face jerks to the side. My hand stung as it instinctively goes to cover my mouth in shock of myself. His lips twitch before slowly turning up in a demented grin. A bloom of red seeps out from his bottom lip and his tongue slides across it. With the taste of his own blood, his smile widens. He laughs softly to himself and I slowly lower my hand.
“There she is.” His voice low, a rumbling purr. “You fuckin’ bitch.” The hand I had just used to strike instantly flies into the mess of his hair; our lips collide. A groan escapes, but from which of us—I didn’t know. The metallic taste of him fueled me. It felt frantic, bruising, needy. We pushed ourselves into each other as if we were feral creatures, held captive and starved. Feeding on something we had buried deep inside only to be found behind the teeth of the other. Sucking his tongue into my mouth causes him to moan and set me ablaze.
I force our mouths apart with a pull of his hair; desperately needing to catch my breath and clear my head. Panting heavily, we stare into the depths of the other in quiet disbelief. This was really happening.
“You sure you want this?” I needed to hear him confirm that he did, in-fact, want to go where we were obviously heading. I knew Roman long enough to know he had serious intimacy issues. Their seeming lack of presence in this moment had me in a whirlwind. He pressed himself into my center once again, his nails bruising crescents into my skin.
“What do you fuckin’ think, dumbass?” I let go of his throat and dig my own nails into his jaw to grip him harshly. He openly smiles with swollen lips.
“Tell me then. Tell me exactly what you want.” His expression falters and his jaw tenses beneath my fingers, eyes flickering from mine.
“You know what I fuckin’ want.” His words seep through gritted teeth. I press my forehead to his. Ever so slowly, I begin rhythmically grinding my hips down upon him. The friction causing his eyes to slip shut. A loud groan escapes from somewhere deep within his chest.
“Roman, I swear to God I’ll stop.” He doesn’t say anything so I still my hips. Umber eyes shoot open and he tries to move me himself. I won’t budge. “I will get up and I will fucking leave you here like this. Pathetic and alone with nothing but your hand.” As the words leave my mouth, so do my hips leave his. His brows snap together and tries in vain to pull me back down again. Still, I don’t budge. “I will walk out this door and you will never fucking see me again. Is that what you want?” The threat was hollow but said with a bite that had shaken me. I was falling into this role a little too easily, a little too well.
He gapes up at me when I completely let go of him. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I attempt to push myself off. It’s him who doesn’t budge this time. He yanks me back down with every ounce of strength his small frame contained. The sudden action has all the air escaping my lungs. With a hand clasped to the back of my neck, he seizes me into a searing kiss.
“Whatever you want.” The words frantically rush into my mouth. “I don’t care.” Fighting against the grip on my neck, he finally gives. I pull back to contemplate his words. Tilting my head slightly, my gaze falls to his tie. An idea begins forming as I slowly untie the silk. My nimble fingers unbuttoning his shirt has him intently studying my face. Whatever I want.
Cupping his warm face in one hand, I smear the blood of his bottom lip with my thumb. He parts his mouth and sucks it in. With my other, I reach for Roman’s and slide his own thumb into my waiting mouth. As I swirl my tongue around him, Roman’s eyes darken and he sucks me harder.
Pulling from his lips with a pop, I rub my now wet thumb against his nipple. A soft moan is let loose. My tongue continuously plays with him inside me. He shudders as I pinch the bud beneath my fingers before doing the same to the other. Letting go of his hand, I reach forward to pinch both simultaneously and he groans loudly.
My cheeks hollow around his thumb as he slips it from me. He drags it down my bottom lip and stares intently. Transfixed by my spit glistening in the incandescent light. Cupping my jaw, he pulls me forward to replace his thumb with his tongue. That familiar groan returning when I suck him in. His other hand tangles itself into my staticky waves and he kisses me with everything he has.
“Give me your wrists.” The order was partially muffled against his mouth.
“Huh?” The question was mumbled into my lips.
“I said,” Threading my fingers into his own hair, I pull him back. “give me your fucking wrists.” With a dramatic tug, his tie is jerked from underneath his collar in a rush. He sat still, blinking up at me. The walnut shells of his eyes fall into my hands. There was a slight apprehension, a nervousness to them. “Do you trust me, Rome?”
“Y-yeah.” His voice was hushed as he presents his hands to me and I slowly start wrapping the silk around his wrists.
“We can stop at anytime. You know that, right? Just say the word and I’ll stop immediately.” My reassurance seems to irritate more than comfort. He rolls his eyes with a tilt of the head.
“Would you fuck off? I’m fine.” A crease digs itself into the bridge of his nose and my actions immediately still.
“I’m not going to fuck off unless I know that you know that you’re safe with me, okay?” This dominate role was far from the submissive one I was innately familiar with. We obviously had never discussed boundaries and I didn’t know where the lines were anymore. “I need you to know you can speak up. That I’ll stop the second you tell me to.” Roman looks like he’d rather get a root canal than continue this discussion, but I don’t care. This was far too important. “I need you to know that your comfort is important—that your feelings matter.”
“I fucking know it, alright?” He snapped before groaning and throwing his head back. “God, what the fuck else do you need to know before you just shut the fuck up and get on with it already?” My hand quickly finds its way to his throat with a squeeze. He seems more than pleased by this response.
“Do you wanna fucking cum?”
“Clearly I wanna fuckin’—“ My other hand slaps over his mouth and I can feel him smiling underneath my palm. Roman was gladly trying to piss me off. He was itching to see me lose control; yearned to meet the creature locked inside me. The wicked one I never acknowledged or came near; the demon only he could see. She bathes me in the blood of solidified suspicions.
Roman didn’t want my empathy.
Roman wanted my cruelty.
“Then are you fucking stupid? If you don’t shut the fuck up I’ll make damn sure to have you crying like a little bitch before I even think of letting you cum.” His eyes blackened as he watches my succubuss unhinge her jaw to swallow me whole. “Got it?” He nods quickly. Rapid bursts of air shoot from his nose across the back of my hand. “And lose the fuckin’ attitude.” Removing my hand, I slap him across the mouth; handing myself over to his desires completely.
Having finished binding his wrists and setting them behind his head, I rise from the couch. Standing between his ankles, I unzip my skirt and let it fall to my feet. The muscles in his forearms flex. His tongue peaks between his lips as he gawked at the damp lace between my thighs. Sliding my finger below his chin, I tilt his head until he meets my eyes.
“You know what I want, Roman?” My hand takes home around his throat once again. Now having his full attention, I feel him swallow as he shakes his head. His excitement was palpable. Settling my right knee between his thighs, I nudge it gently against his hard length. His nostrils flare with a sharp inhale. “I want you to watch me get myself off on your thigh.” He groans loudly. I couldn’t tell if it was out of desire, frustration, or a mixture of both but the response delighted me nonetheless. Placing my left knee to the other side of his thigh, I fully seat myself upon him. “Knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.”
“Fuck.” Slowly grinding against the fabric of his thigh, my lashes flutter at the sensation. A soft moan escapes me before I can stop it. I was dripping wet and could already feel myself swiftly ruining his ostentatiously expensive pants.
“How does it feel Roman? To have me use you like this?“ A whimper meets my ears. His eyes transfixed on my clothed center sliding roughly against his thigh. There was a fire beneath his skin and he was entranced by the sight of kerosene being poured upon it. “To ruin you like this?” His smokey gaze flickers up to mine and I use the moment to grind myself harder against him. The rough friction elicits another moan from me, louder this time. “This is all you’re good for—” My final word comes out in a whine causing Roman to tear into his bottom lip hard enough to draw more blood. “Tell me. How does it feel?” I nudge my knee into his throbbing member once more and the deepest groan ripples through his teeth. His arms jerk against his binds as I use my free hand to sharply twist his nipple. “Answer me!”
“Good! It feels—Fuck.” The sentiment came out hoarse and husky. He shoves his head back into his tied wrists, thrusting himself against my knee. “Feels so f-fuckin’ good.” Digging my thumb into his pulse point, I slide my knee back. He whines; all hopes of friction dashing in an instant.
“No. You don’t get to cum until I say you do. Got it, you demented little fuck?” He’s a whimpering mess beneath me; eyes wide and watery. I wanted to drown myself in the sight and never touch the light of day again.
My thong bunches to the side from the aggression in my movements. Now fully bare against him, a shiver rushes through me as my clit kisses the luxurious fabric of his thigh. I wasn’t going to last much longer.
“If you don’t fucking behave I swear to God I’ll leave you like this—tied up and soaking for whoever to find.” The bite in my threats were losing their edge. My voice lost somewhere between a moan and sigh. An impending orgasm flicks it’s tongue at the base of my spine.
“Wouldn’t want it to be your father who finds you like this, would you?” A mangled whine shakes itself from his throat and has me smiling.
The blood seeping from his parted lips seem to glitter under the city light of his windows. I flatten my tongue across his jaw and drag it up his chin until my mouth fills with copper. The taste causes a sigh to slip from my mouth into his.
“You’re close. I-I can feel it.” His voice tight and high-pitched as he starts to slightly bounce his leg. “You’ve f-fucking drenched me.” The jolting of his thigh into my clit has my head falling into his shoulder; grinding harder and faster against him. The nails of my right hand embed themselves into the skin of his waist. A carnal mosaic of the flesh born below my grip. I was at the brink. “I-I wanna feel you cum.” He’s whining as he starts to bounce his leg faster; face buried in my hair. His shaking breath against my cheek has my entire body erupting in goosebumps. “P-please lemme f-feel you cum.” His beg hitches to an even higher pitch. His thigh nearly vibrating under me, desperate pleas rippling through me. Every nerve ending in my body felt ablaze.
It was all too much.
A scream rips from my lungs and I sink my teeth into the flesh of Roman’s shoulder. He tasted of salt and brimstone. My nails frenetically scratch into his skin as my thighs tremble and squeeze. Groans barrel up from his chest to mingle with my own. My release shatters through me with a blinding intensity I had never experienced before. I was overflowing; drenching his thigh to seep into his soul.
The heaving of our chests pressed tightly together slowly lulls me back down again. My fingertips absentmindedly painting shapes into his skin with the blood I’d drawn from his waist. Sparkles of light and voids of soot twirl across my vision. An indention of my teeth remained etched into his shoulder. He shudders when I press a soft kiss onto the bruised skin. My head falling heavy when it replaces my mouth to lean into him.
I’m suddenly reminded of Roman’s own much needed release upon finding his hips desperately grinding circles into empty air. He’s whimpering; body begging. My hand still cradled his throat so I languidly brush my thumb along his pulse point. His heart was racing.
“Do you need to cum, Roman?” A loud, high-pitched whine answers me.
“Please.” The word comes out in a choked sob. “I need—“ He was fighting against his binds, the silk digging painfully into his wrists. “Please.” He frantically presses open mouth kisses into any inch of my skin that he could reach; pleading with glassy eyes. “Please lemme cum.” I leave his throat to gently cup his cheek and smile softly before pulling back from him. “No—“ He stops himself when I thread one hand into his hair and place the other bloodied one atop his chest.
“You gonna cum your pants for me, Romie?” I take my sweet time sliding my palm towards where he needs it most. “Like the needy little slut that you are?” The whispered words were dripping in ghost pepper honey that had him swallowing. “Are you that desperate? That pathetic?”
“Yes.” The answer comes out in a quiet quick rush of air. “Y-yeah, I am.” My hand finally reaches his pulsing length and it twitches beneath my fingers. He immediately ruts against my palm and I squeeze him before jerking his head back.
“Stop.” He clenches his teeth but surprisingly does. Tensing beneath me, using every ounce of self control to still himself. He was trembling beneath my grasp. Frustrated tears caressed his lashes and began streaming down his flushed cheeks. His breath was coming out hard and shallow through flared nostrils.
A memory flashes through my mind: Roman’s captivated stare watching his glistening thumb press into my bottom lip.
“Open your mouth.” Again, he follows my orders instantly. Hovering my face above his, my lips purse with a drop of spit. He catches it with a moan that I immediately kiss into my mouth. “Cum.” My voice drops just above a whisper against his raw lips. “Make a mess of yourself.”
He instantly begins fucking himself roughly into my grip. The heat of his flesh searing me through the fabric. Grunting into my open mouth as I tug his hair into the cushions just below his wrists. His hands opening and closing before locking into tight fists. “Look at me.” His eyes shoot open. “Such a good boy for me.” A familiar emotion swirls through the sliver of hazel around his pupils. His lids flutter as he fought with everything in him to keep himself rooted in my gaze. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Roman.”
His hips shoot from the couch as he explodes and spreads me open across his thigh. The sensation causes my breath to catch in my throat. A gravely yell rips from the deepest parts of himself and tears apart every muscle in my body. He pours everything he has into the fabric beneath my hand with wide eyes never leaving mine. He collapses hard with shuttering breaths; body limp and twitching.
I release him to bring my palm to my lips; the slightest bit damp from him. My tongue paints his taste into my memory with pupils blown. Jaw slack, he watches intently through heavy wet lashes. His muddy eyes fill with that same emotion I had seen from him earlier.
“Lemme taste you.” The request was nearly silent but it rattled me like a wail. If I was any further from him I wouldn’t have heard it, but I did and couldn’t believe he had asked. Lifting my hips slightly, I run two fingers through my sensitive folds and shiver. He immediately takes notice and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips.
My fingers tremble as they rise towards his mouth. He inhales deeply before parting his lips for me. Slipping into the velvet of his mouth, his eyes flutter shut. His pointed tongue runs up between their gaps before flattening to drag back down. He was savoring every drop as if he were a starved man lost at sea. An involuntary hum reverberates from his throat into my skin and his cheeks seem to darken even more. He playfully bites down with sparkling eyes when I slip my fingers from his warm mouth.
The sight had the blood pounding in my ears beginning their familiar chant: ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ It overwhelmed me and I couldn’t help but pull him into one last searing kiss. Tasting myself on his tongue had my head spinning. Here on my knees, I prayed to a godless sky that he could taste my heart overflowing into his mouth. Cupping his cheeks in both hands, my thumbs brush away the damp paths left by his previous tears. His forehead suddenly creases beneath mine.
“You okay, Rome?” He shakes my hands from his face and turns away from me. My own brows knot together in worry.
“I’m fine.” His face further contorts upon hearing how his voice cracked. It might as well have cracked my ribs right along with it. He clenches his jaw before gnawing at the inside of his cheek. His hands form into tight fist behind his head. He was trying not to cry again.
My fingers twitch in my lap and it takes everything in me not to wrap him in my arms. Instead, I reach for his wrists and bring them forward. They felt heavy and limp in my hands. Right as I began my attempt at untying them, a small sniffle brings my attention back to Roman’s face.
“It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know?” I try to gently reassure him but it only deepens the tortured disgust in his features.
“I said I’m fucking fine.” The words are spit with a venom that eats through to my bones. Feeling me search his feature has him crumbling before me. Fresh tears immediately start spilling down his cheeks and into the pits of my soul. I couldn’t help but reach for him. He surprisingly lets me cup his cheek, so I gently turn him to face me. His eyes squeeze tighter below my lips as I lightly kiss their corners. The small gesture of affection has a mangled sob ripping from his chest. Fully burying his face into my hand, he lets himself weep into my palm.
Brushing back the strands of hair sticking to his sweat, I feel my own eyes filling with tears. Refusing to let myself cry, I leave his hair to clumsily attempt untying his wrists with one hand but the knot had grown significantly tighter. No doubt from Roman constantly pulling against it all this time.
“Hey, Rome?” He responds with a mangled sound in the back of his throat. A desperate need to comfort and free him started anxiously clawing at my throat. “Listen, I know you’re totally fine and everything but I’m actually not.” His watery eyes glance to me, not registering that I’m joking. “The she demon that possessed me, she—the bitch was a Girl Scout from hell. This knot’s tighter than a goddamn hangman’s noose.” Roman pulls his face from my hand while rapidly blinking. The sounds of grinding metal fill my ears and their smokey scent tickles my nose. I flash him a goofy, albeit nervous, smile and the gears inside his head finally click into place.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” There was no bite to his words, having spoke them through a bemused chuckle. He wipes his nose with back of his hand and inhales the remnants of his vulnerability. Grateful relief balms the scrapes at my neck left by worry’s desperate claws.
His smile falters when I suddenly get up and leave him; it's as if a burst of panic fills his chest. However, when he watches me pick up a pair of scissors and the joggers from his gym bag, I sense the tension in him ease slightly. It's only when I climb back atop his thigh that he appears fully relieved. The weight of my warmth sinking into him seems to ground him.
After tossing his change of pants onto the cushion beside us, I carefully slide the blade under his tie and free him. The silk had dug in painfully, leaving nearly raw indentions in it’s wake. I mentally make a note to check my purse for some soothing lotion later as my fingers lightly brush across his skin. My thumbs begin rubbing into the muscles of his forearms. Roman was studying my face intently.
“These feel okay?” Shaking out his wrists, he rotates them a few times before letting them fall limp in my lap. It was his way of silently asking me to continue with my actions. He had far too much pride to express his desire for such a tender expression.
“Feels fine.” He fights off a shy smile when my hands pick up where they left off, massaging him gently. “My side on the other hand feels like fuckin’ cruise papers with the way ya shredded me.” He chuckles but I could still hear the residual emotion behind it. I lift the corner of his shirt up to take a look. The sight has my stomach instantly dropping; tangled weeds of angry wounds imbedded deep into flesh. Needles of red hot guilt begin sewing threads of shame up my legs. Looking down, I’m greeted with his blood caked under my nails. Memories of violence and words of degradation take ownership of my lungs.
“Fuck Rome…” My voice cracks and I suddenly feel my own tears holding a knife to my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Roman quickly tears the fabric from my grasp and yanks it down.
“Oh shit. No no no no no—fuck fuck fuck.” His panicked expression made me feel so much worse. The canines of an anxiety attack drag up the nape of my neck like a threat. “I—I was fucking kidding!”
“I shouldn’t have d—done that to you. I—I shouldn’t have hit you. I shouldn’t have said—I didn’t—Rome, I didn’t mean them! The words—I—I’m so sor—“
“Oh dear God, would you fuckin’ stop.” He quickly cut me off but I had already dove to the deep end of a molten lava shame spiral.
“I—I made you fucking bleed Roman!” He rolls his eyes. “Multiple times!” His hands slap themselves onto the sides of my face, pressing hard into my cheeks.
“Yeah and you licked it up and it was the sexiest fuckin’—” I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him. If I looked at him I’d most certainly start crying. “I mean, I’m literally fucking drenched in cum right now.” My mouth was set in a hard line but my bottom lip quivered. “Come on now…” Nope, didn’t have to look at him. Turns out his voice alone could send tears falling. “I was kidding! I liked the fuckin’—fuckin’ feral scratchy shit! It was hot! And—and I told you to hit me! I—I wanted it! I wanted you to say all that fuckin’ nasty shit!” His fingers press into my skin harder as if he could force his sentiments to penetrate my skull. “I…I fuckin’ loved it. Like a lot. Okay?” My head was shaking back and forth trying to gain some control over my emotions, shake free of my tears. Roman didn’t know that though. How could he? I wasn’t speaking. He probably thought my actions were just my way of rejecting him. “Please don’t fuckin’ do this.”
My eyes crack open as I remove Roman’s hands from my face. The knotted look of bewilderment etched into his features summons the childhood phantom of my mother. Taking her disembodied palm to slap me across the mouth and rattle me with shrill screams: ‘You need to pull yourself the fuck together!’ I follow suit, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes.
“Promise?” My question came out pathetic and small. I fucking hated it and I fucking hated crying. I’m being fucking ridiculous. Stupid.
“Again, and I can’t stress this enough, soaking in my own cum right now.” His reassurance comes with a laugh that tugs my frown up slightly.
“I just—I’m sorry. It was one thing in the moment but just like… I dunno. I’ve never done anything like that. I—I don’t know what came over me.” My face felt feverish as the backs of my hands wipe the shame staining my cheeks. “Seeing the aftermath just kinda, it just—The thought of actually hurting you makes me feel fucking sick, Rome.” I feel the back of Roman’s knuckle brush away the tears I had missed. Chancing a look at his face gifted me the softest expression I had ever seen from him. “I never want to cause you any real harm.” My voice sounded almost foreign, weak with emotion and vulnerability. Where did all my bravado go? Oh yeah, it’s dripping down my thighs.
“Well you didn’t, alright? I’m fine. Like completely. A-o-fuckin’-kay over here.” He throws me the okay symbol and tries offering me a reassuring smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“But you were crying, Rome.” The smile instantly drops.
“That? No, I wasn’t—“ He shakes his head before scratching at his jaw. “It—it wasn’t because of that.” My brows furrow, and he groans, hands dragging down his face. “Look, I didn’t—I don’t—fuck!” He shakes his fingers through his hair and looks as if he’s about to rip it out. Refusing to meet my eyes, his stare finally settles on my hands lying face up in my lap. “It was your fuckin’—your hands, okay? It was your fuckin’ hands.” My eyes fall from his face and focus on the blood staining my fingertips. So it really was because I hit him. “The way you—“ He sighs. “The way you held me.” Oh. His head falls back as a long frustrated groan escapes him, eyes searching for heaven in the ceiling. “I dunno, okay? It just felt—it felt—“ He couldn’t finish. His eyes fall shut before he continues, his voice even quieter than before. “All I could think about was how you had looked at me.” I swallow before whispering just as quietly as he.
“How did I look at you?”
“I don’t know.” His voice grew thick with emotion once again. He shakes his head and finally meets my eyes; looking so defeated and sad. His pain bled me. “You’re always fuckin’ lookin’ at me like—like—“ Again, he can’t finish. He clenches his jaw like a threat towards the words caught in his throat.
“Like I love you?” His eyes squeeze shut and he turns his face from me once again; hiding himself from my words. I watch him clench and unclench his jaw until courage clenches my own. “Because I do love you, Roman.” Every muscle in his body seemed to tense beneath me, but I couldn’t stop my feelings from shattering their shackles. They’d been locked up for so long that their first taste of freedom sends them sprinting. “I love you so fucking much.” He clenches his fists, still unable to open his eyes and look at me.
I let myself lean into him and lay my head onto his shoulder. His fist start to unfurl and he lets his head fall against mine. A shuddering breath leaves him and he buries his face into my hair, hands tentatively resting on my hips. We sit in silence as I listen to his breathing slowly steadying. Once it had nearly returned to normal, I feel his lips gently press into my temple.
“I love you too.” The words were murmured into me, a heavy sigh follows after them. “You have no fucking idea.” The wilted buds of my heart and mind begin to bloom. My arms wrap themselves around him and squeeze him to me tightly. He reluctantly wraps his arms around me as well; slowly tightening his embrace until he’s clinging to my soul. Turning my head I press a kiss into the side of his throat and hear him sigh once again; the weight between us was dissipating.
“I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.” The words he had stuttered out when trying to calm me drift to the forefront of my mind. “I—I liked it too.” The warmth of his skin embraces my shy confession. “What we did together, I mean.” I hear him snort and it has me smiling against him. The air was feeling lighter.
“I’d fuckin’ say so, ya fuckin’ banshee. You shoulda seen how fuckin’ hard you came. I mean—Jesus Christ, you were fuckin’ feral.” I hide my face further into his neck but can’t help the laughter that bubbles up from me. “And now you act all fuckin’ bashful and shit? How the fuck does that even work? You literally tied me up and road my thigh like a buckin’ bronco.” I bite his throat and my body shakes from his laughter vibrating through me.
“Fuck you! I’m complex.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He tangles his hands in my hair and pulls me back to face him. “You’re fuckin’ insane, you know that?” He was smiling as he said it. “You drive me fucking insane.”
“The feelings mutual.” His smile only widens and he bounces his leg. I yelp in surprise, frantically gripping at his arms to maintain balance. He’s giggling uncontrollably. “You’re a sick fuck, Roman Roy.”
“Ooo round two already, thigh master?” He bounces his leg again. I try to slap his chest but he catches my wrist with his freehand and pulls me into a kiss I’m never going to forget. It was different than all the ones we had shared prior. This one was so much softer, so much gentler. Our foreheads rest against one another. His smile against my lips illuminates every crevice once void of light; I was loved.
#this used to be 10k words lol#I’ve rewritten it soooo many times#Roman Roy#Succession#Succession HBO#roman roy smut#roman roy x reader#roman roy one shot#roman roy fanfic#roman roy imagine#succession smut#succession fanfic#succession imagine#succession one shot#mine#can’t believe I’m following up kittens & perverts w/ this filth lmao#it still doesn’t feel perfect but she’s about to confiscate the phone from me if I keep rewriting this lol#cruelty & empathy
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𝟐:𝟎𝟑 𝐀𝐌
fluff, hints at a fight that happened so minimal hurt/comfort, sooo much swearing, ooc rin bc he's so hard to write wtf he has a personality of an apple but i love him <3
it’s 2 am.
it’s 2 am and someone is knocking on your door like a madman.
you were simply trying to catch some shut eye, exhausted from a day of grieving and almost breaking down into tears on several occasions. the accumulation of a shitty day, a stressful deadline, and the massive fight you had with your boyfriend, itoshi rin, two days ago, really committed to keeping your day melancholic at best. sleep was everything you needed right now, both for its regenerative and escapist purposes.
yet again, you really cannot catch a break from the spite of the universe because it is out of rage that you find yourself walking towards your front door; an anger that dissipates when you see who it is on the other side.
1/3 of the reason why your day sucked. your painfully beautiful boyfriend.
the argument you had with rin was left open-ended on whether the relationship should continue or not. to you, it seemed as though both parties were at different opinions, with you wanting to maintain what you had. after two days of not responding to your texts, you suppose that that had been a short way of answering the ambiguity.
willingly, although reluctantly, you open the door, preparing to end something that you were not ready to let go.
he’s sweaty and he’s panting. did he run up the stairs or something, why is he so puffed? how is he so pretty despite that?
“hey,” you begin, feeling small in his presence. rin bores through you with his teal eyes, not saying anything. you cringe at the silence.
“i appreciate the effort but y’know, if you wanted to make our breakup official couldn’t you have done it at a reasonable hour, rin?”
his eyes narrow at that statement, betraying his usually stoic expression with furrowed brows and an agape mouth. confused. he’s confused, but you don’t see any of it because you find the floor more interesting than your boyfriend (?).
with a deep inhale, you just decide to go for it. if he’s not going to declare it, then you will. “look, rin, maybe you’re right, if this relationship is holding you back then maybe it is best we-“
“-the olive theory.”
“excuse me?”
the first words this man utters to you after two days… is the olive theory?
the dark-haired continues. “the olive theory, we’re- we’re supposed to be compatible.”
you are way over your head right now. did you even wake up? is this a dream? why is your, usually all-straight-talk, boyfriend talking to you about the olive theory at 2am, stammering whilst doing so? what kind of hallucination is this?
“rin, what?”
“i like olives, you hate them, we’re meant to work, and i don’t think i can continue on like this.”
you blink once, twice, three times before pointing at him. “you’re telling me that we’re compatible, yet in the same sentence, telling me that we should break up?”
"i didn’t want to break up?”
“but you just said you can’t continue on like this, what else do you mean?” your voice is at a hushed whisper at best, and although you wanted to raise it louder, you fear that your neighbours would not be happy.
“i meant that i can’t continue on without you!”
silence.
“i’ve become so co-dependent on you that i fucking hate it. i can’t fucking function without you, even that fuckhead isagi knows that i’m off and it’s all because of you. it’s only been two fucking days and i’m not landing 60% of my goals, i’m not receiving 20% of my passes correctly, and i keep tripping over myself, you’re ruining me, y/n.”
the flurry of emotions within you triples, and you’re so flabbergasted that no words can escape your mouth. truthfully, you can't think straight, but if you could, the words would fizzle out in your throat before they even saw the light of day.
“if i have to suffer any more of this stupid silence between us then i might kill a bitch. that bitch being the antennae freak.”
even more silence, and rin is practically begging you with his gaze to say something. funnily enough, the next thing you murmur is out of reflex: “don’t say that about shidou.”
he groans. “if i didn’t love you, i would choke you right now.”
wow, itoshi rin has a way with words.
the threat causes you to crack a smile. “well, good thing you love me,” you mutter whilst grabbing him by the wrists to pull him inside your apartment. “and it’s a good thing i love you too.”
“well no shit, we’ve been in a relationship for-“
“-shut up and kiss me, you smooth talker.”
the soccer player smirks in amusement before leaning forward, closing the physical and metaphorical space between you, soothing the heartache with gentle touches and a fervent need to love one another.
༊* BONUS:
“why are you here at 2 am? i thought you, of all people, would be fast asleep.”
“tried to, can’t sleep without you- you’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”
you smile fondly as he hooks an arm around you waist, collapsing into you as a way of saying that he doesn’t mean his rough words. “so i’m just another bedwarmer?” you ask teasingly.
he grumbles a ‘tch’, digging his nose into your nape. “you’re an idiot.”
“thank you, love. speaking of bedwarming, can we go to sleep?” perfectly paired with a yawn, rin looks at you with slight guilt in his eyes before dragging you down the memorised path to your bedroom.
once there, he wastes little time in dragging you into the sanctuary of your bed, and you let out a sigh of content when rin turns off the lights and pulls the covers up. instinctively, your hands retreat to his hair, carding through them.
he’s holding you close, hands resting protectively around your waist.
“we have a lot to talk about in the morning, but did you not get any of my texts?”
“you texted?”
“…yeah?”
“oh yeah, i remember now that i blocked you after our fight.”
you mercilessly smother him with your pillow.
#this was shitty- but if you enjoyed feel free to reblog !!!!! 😁😁😁#i'm so tired and sleepy#i can't be fucked to tag this#but i will#itoshi rin x reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#itoshi rin fluff#blue lock fluff#itoshi rin x you#rin x you#rin itoshi x you
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Marcus Baker
you never gave me back my things.
i was hoping i'd see you again.
i never like how it ended between us.
you never gave me back my things.
i was hoping i'd see you again.
i never like how it ended between us.
Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs, Gender Neutral!Reader
You released a sigh of relief as you slumped back in the chair and released the pencil, giving your aching hand a much-needed break. You rubbed the area between your thumb and index finger, pleased to have finally finished the five-page essay for English class. You were certain if you had to read another ancient poem and write an essay about it again, you'd have a breakdown alongside your classmates. But with the pressure of the deadline disappearing, you looked forward to taking a break from classwork.
You stood up from the table and collected the papers, carefully slipping them into a folder and then sliding the folder into your backpack. You nodded to the other students studying and working at the table before slinging your backpack over your shoulder and making a beeline for the doors. As much as you loved the school's library, you never wanted to step foot in it again for at least two weeks.
"Hey, (Y/N)!" A voice called out, attempting to be quiet but still getting dirty looks from those nearby. Marcus dipped his head apologetically and whispered a few 'sorry's before facing you and offering a sheepish, equally as apologetic smile.
Before Virginia Miller had strolled into Wellsbury, you might've greeted Marcus with a kiss and told him all about your day. You might've taken his hand, listened to his troubles, and given him as much advice and reassurance as he needed. But he'd chosen to ruin the relationship you'd poured so much time into over a girl he hardly knew well. You half-expected them to boldly continue their secret relationship as an official couple now, but all you saw were longing looks from her and an exhausted-looking Marcus.
"I heard you were going to start tutoring again and- and was wondering if you could help me with homework? I'll pay you, obviously. I don't have a lot but-"
"Silver's looking, too. I can pass her your number and she'll help you with whatever you need, Marcus." You told him, turning on your heel and stepping out of the library. The door shut behind you, only to open again as Marcus followed. The Bakers seemed like a notoriously stubborn family, and yet they'd been a family you once wished to become a part of.
"Actually, I was hoping I'd see you again. I-I wanted to talk about everything, you know? I didn't like how it ended between us." Marcus explained, occasionally stumbling over his words as he quickened his pace to catch up with you.
"Oh, you mean how you spent months secretly hooking up with your neighbor who was in a relationship with one of your sister's friends and I found out at the same time as everyone else because you didn't have the balls to tell me you didn't want to be with me anymore? It would've saved me a whole lot of trouble, Marcus. And by the way, you never gave me back my things."
Marcus quickened his step again and stepped in front of you, his hands shooting out to grab your forearms and force you to stop. You pursed your lips, your jaw clenching briefly and head tilting to finally look him in the eye. "I fucked up, and I'm really sorry, (Y/N). And I didn't tell you about Ginny because I didn't want to break up. I-I-I was an asshole, I know that. I don't know what I was thinking but I knew I didn't want to lose you. I was confused and-"
"You were confused for nearly a whole year, Marcus? I seriously doubt that. Like I said, you would've saved me a lot of trouble being honest. Besides, if Ginny really wanted you, she wouldn't have gotten with Hunter." You brushed his arms away and stepped back. "Please, just drop this Marcus. It's over and it'll stay over. Maybe I'll forgive you and we'll become friends again but... I don't really want you in my life right now."
#x reader#x you#x y/n#x male!reader#x male reader#x fem!reader#x female reader#x gender neutral reader#ginny and georgia#ginny and georgia x reader#ginny and georgia x male reader#ginny and georgia x female reader#ginny and georgia x you#ginny and georgia x gender neutral reader#ginny and georgia x y/n#marcus baker#marcus baker x reader#marcus baker x male reader#marcus baker x you#marcus baker x y/n#marcus baker x female reader#marcus baker x gender neutral reader
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Okay I’ve snapped.
If you say Percy Jackson is stupid I will find you and make sure you regret it.
I have inattentive type ADHD. I was diagnosed in 4th grade and got put on medication. I did not think there was a difference but I got an award from the school for how much I improved. They didn’t know it was because of meds.
Before I was diagnosed I remember being on the verge of tears often at school because I got so frustrated that I couldn’t do work. I sat at my desk with the pencil in my hand staring at a worksheet physically unable to write the awnser I knew. I would stare at the question and like an optical illusion the rest of the page blurs together and I can’t even make out word anymore.
I thought I was dyslexic for the longest time because some fonts are so difficult for me to read. I could look at a recit, know it says lettuce, and it will not process in my brain. Unless I am a few hours away from a deadline it is nearly impossible to start assignments. Essays are hell.
You know those songs that have an American accent but are completely nonsense? That’s what it sounds like a lot when I listen to people talk. Usally I can grasp the general meaning but I can not tell you what word you just said.
Time is not real. I sit down, scroll through tumblr for maybe 15 minutes and my roommate asks why I’m sitting doing nothing for 4 hours straight. Full days disappear and I can’t remember anything that happened. I have no idea how long it takes me to do something I do almost every day.
I went two weeks at the beginning of the semester with meds that where 10 milligrams lower than my usual dosage. My grades still haven’t recovered.
THAT SAID. In cannon, Percy Jackson passed 13 years of school with high enough grades to be accepted to a university. Not medicated. Without accommodations.
So either the education system in New York is taylored specifically for people with ADHD, or Percy Jackson is a fucking geinios. I can’t spell.
So ignoring the fact that nearly every fight he won by outsmarting his opponent, let me tell you why.
In the books, he’s an introvert, sits in the back, tries to keep his head down but usually fails, gets detention often, and has been expelled multiple times. That’s not the kind of kid teachers go out of their way to help. He’s also unlikely to ask for help. So, despite his struggles in the classroom, he has never been held back or had to redo a grade as far as we know. And it’s pretty likely considering his age.
Add in the fact that he would be constantly sleep deprived from staying up very late (like from 10-3, based off my experience) and his dyslexia, Percy would need to be really good at retaining information after hearing or seeing it only once. That’s actually supported by his ability to memorize prophecies word for word after only hearing them once. We know Percy is bad at taking tests, so he would have to be really good at recalling information.
He also did it all unmedicated. I want to cry just thinking about it.
tldr, the fact that Percy’s grades where high enough to get into college means hes fucking brilliant
#percyjackson#percy jackson#pjo#adhd#living with adhd#Percy Jackson adhd#adhd brain#school is hard#especially in an environment built to torture you#adhd problems#adhd post#adhd Percy Jackson
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Frat Daddy the Third - USWNT x Reader
Summary/Request: Anon sorta said "reader being under the legal drinking age but the team travels to Europe and the reader goes out...team ends up taking care of them at the end"
A/N: So this isn't exactly what anon requested but this what my brain made of it. Enjoy.
Trigger warning: Excessive drinking of Alcohol and mentions of a date rape drug but no one gets hurt.
Despite what everyone else may think, there is nothing cool about trying to balance being in college and being on the senior national team.
Okay, maybe that is slightly dramatic because playing on the same team as some of the women you grew up idolizing is incredibly cool but there are some downsides.
You could waste time listing them all but there is only me that is bugging you right now: not being able to have a drink when you want one.
Once again, this might seem like a small thing but you attend one of the top party schools in the country: Florida State.
So more often than not you have a little bit of alcohol in your system.
Bored while studying, have a beer or two.
Headed to a 3-hour lecture, take a shot before walking across campus.
If any of the other sports teams win, let’s find a frat party.
Your team wins, and the party’s at your place.
Get a call-up, throw a party.
It’s not alcoholism if you’re still an undergrad.
And it’s not a hangover if you refuse to tell anyone what you did the night before.
This is exactly what you’re doing now as you wait in Newark airport with Kristie and all your teammates on the Spirit. They had faced each other to a nil-nil draw last night while you and the Seminoles beat Rutgers.
And yes, you had thrown a small party in the hotel afterward.
So not only were you incredibly hungover (honestly you were probably still drunk), but you were also dealing with some of your loudest national teammates.
Sinking lower into your seat, you pull your hat lower on your head and turn up the volume in your headphones.
Just as you begin to drift off, you feel multiple pairs of eyes on you.
Opening one of your own, you aren’t surprised to see Kelley directly in your face and everyone else staring at you.
“Can I help you,” you question, taking your headphones off.
“Why are you sweating,” Kelley asks, “And why do you smell like the aisle of a liquor store?”
Closing your eyes you respond, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“So if I passed a bottle of,” she pauses, taking a big sniff, “Hennessy under your nose, you wouldn’t be tempted to throw up?”
Just the mention of the drink that you had too much of last night is enough to make you gag. That in turn makes Kelley shake her head at you.
“Next time use a stronger body spray, kid,” she says before walking away.
The incident doesn’t get brought up again.
And as far as you know Kelley doesn’t mention it to anyone else but she does get herself assigned as your roommate.
It isn’t until you are in your shared hotel room, complaining about your homework that the topic of alcohol even comes up again.
“Mill, Kant, and morals are best studied with a beer,” you grumble not having heard Kelley re-enter the room with Sonnett.
“Day drinking while studying ethics is a new level, kid,” Sonny says, causing you to whip your head around to face her.
“Don’t know if you’ve noticed but I don’t have a beer, so no day drinking is occurring,” you say, turning back to continue writing your paper.
“Why are you studying ethics and morals anyway,” Kelley asks, “Aren’t you getting a degree in computer engineering?”
“It’s a required course.”
She gives a small ‘oh’ in response and seconds later you can hear her and Emily whispering behind you, something that you mistakenly choose to ignore seeing as how deadlines don’t care about timezones.
Eventually, you forget the two of them are even in the room and begin to find your groove again making a significant amount of progress on your paper.
That groove is broken when the two of them walk up to either side of you and close your laptop.
“Are you serious right now,” you ask, groaning when they don’t take their hands off it, “I only have two hours left to finish this paper.”
“Relax Y/N/N, we’re here to make you a deal,” Emily says placatingly.
“Alright, well hurry up.”
“We’re gonna ask you two questions,” Kelley explains, “Answer both correctly and score a goal tomorrow and we’ll bring you with us when we go out after the game.”
“Can I answer the questions and type my paper at the same time,” you beg, still trying to remove their hands from your laptop.
“Fine,” they say simultaneously, watching as you scramble to get back to your essay.
“Ok, the first question,” Emily says, “What is the legal drinking age in France?”
“There isn’t one,” you answer, “But you have to be 18 to purchase any alcohol.”
“Correct, next question, “Kelley says, “What are three characteristics of alcohol use disorders?”
“Inability to limit drinking, continuing to drink despite personal or professional problems, and wanting to drink so bad that you can’t think of anything else.”
“Correct again,” the older defender says, “Now score a goal and you get to hang out with the big kids after the game.”
“Cool, will the ‘big kids’ leave me alone now,” you beg, citing another source for your paper.
“Alright, fine, see you later Y/N/N,” Emily says, dragging Kelley out of the room.
By the time you’re standing on the touchline the next day, you’ve completely forgotten about the deals you’ve made with the Frat Daddies.
No, you’re more focused on trying to find a way past Wendie Renard and the rest of the French back 3 so that you can leave the stadium with a win.
It’s a hard hustle but you finally manage to take a good shot in the 79th minute that barely sails over the fingertips of the French goalie.
You don’t remember the deal until Kelley leaps into your arms yelling about how she’s buying your first drink.
And that doesn’t fully register in your mind until Kelley is forcing you to get out of bed and get dressed that night.
The club you and the rest of the team find yourselves in is cooler than any of the ones you’ve snuck into at school. But that’s to be expected seeing as how Tallahassee isn’t known for much else besides being home to Florida State.
You spend most of the night with your teammates dancing and convincing them to buy you shots, you get through eight of them before they catch on and you have to buy your own drinks.
That’s when things take a turn for the worse.
One second you’re at the bar talking with a pretty French girl while waiting for your beer and the next, you’re drinking a beer that is definitely not supposed to be salty.
Stumbling towards where you left your teammates, you walk straight into Kelley’s arms.
“Kelley, we need to leave,” you slur-shout into her ear.
“What, why?”
“Because I just had a salty Modelo and Modelo is not supposed to be salty,” you say frantically, “GHB makes beer salty and now it’s getting really hard to breathe, so can we please leave.”
“Oh my god, Y/N,” she says.
“I only took a sip but we need to leave.”
It doesn’t take very long for Kelley to spring into action and within the next 10 minutes, you’re on Emily’s back being carried back to the hotel. This is great because you are quickly losing the ability to move your limbs.
When you get back to the hotel, you’re barely aware of Kelley softly telling you everything’s going to be fine while she helps you get ready for bed.
You do hear Sonnett say something about how much trouble they're going to be in but that should really be the least of everyone’s concerns at this point and Kelley says as much.
You don’t have many memories of what happened after Emily left but you do vaguely remember Kelley checking on you multiple times and making sure that you didn’t choke on your puke, which was pretty cool of her.
That’s probably why you’re so surprised when you wake up to the sound of her getting yelled at by Alex and Becky.
“Seriously, Kelley,” Becky says, “The one time you take her out, you not only lose her but she gets drugged.”
“Guys,” Kelley says, trying to explain.
“No, Kelley,” Alex interrupts.
You can tell that Alex is getting pretty worked up so you decide to do all three of them a favor and crack a joke.
“Scale of 0-10, getting drugged,” you say, flinging the covers off and climbing out of bed, “0 out of 10, do not recommend, will not be trying again.”
Every head in the room whips around to face you and that’s when you realize that practically the entire team is there, not just Kelley, Alex, and Becky.
“Y/N,” Alex says, taking a step toward you, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I took 15 shots of rum instead of 10.”
“You took 10 shots of rum,” Sonny says shocked.
You don’t get a chance to answer because Becky quickly turns on Kelley again.
“You let the baby take 10 shots,” she practically shouts.
Kelley stutters for a while before you decide to step in.
“Can we all chill on Kelley,” you say, “because I think we all know by now that no one can stop me from doing what I want.” You move to stand by the bathroom door while continuing, “It’s not her fault that I snuck off to have a beer and two shots when she turned away for half a second. And it’s really not her fault that a pretty French girl drugged me. Now if you all don’t mind leaving so I can puke in peace I’d appreciate it.”
The last thing you hear as you close the door behind you is the depressed voice of Lindsey going, “Great, now we have three frat bros to look after.”
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ok full immediate finale thoughts!!! spoilers for everything below!!
LUKE NARRATION???? SAYING PERCY’S FIRST LINE??? YES HELL YES THE PARALLEL
FINALLY PERCY VS LUKE SWORD FIGHT TRAINING BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS
ok??? liking it so far
nvm not liking the kronos part and how he just Knows so earlyyyy
walker’s angry face is GOOD
god blood is gold!! glad they included that
ok dialogue feeling a little clunky again
why is hades’ helm bronze i thought it would be stygian iron like nico’s sword (edit: it’s not i looked it up)
don’t like that we’re just back at montauk and the police/press don’t show up which is like. what’s the point of making him a suspected domestic terrorist and national fugitive if it’s not relevant to this fight?? and it doesn’t play a role in how the trio gets home by percy making sad puppy eyes on national television as a way for the story to show percy’s cunning and grudge against gabe, and by cutting the flight back to new york there’s no sense of dread as percy takes the journey to olympus. i get they couldn’t have him fly if they changed the deadline being passed but like… maybe!! they shouldn’t have changed it. in the books it’s clear percy will be SMITED if the deadline passes and the bolt isn’t returned. IMMEDIATELY. he should already be dead. instead of in the books being shown zeus’ barely contained wrath, yet we. nothing. zeus’ first action is promised to be smiting percy and then nature will go to war with itself and i’m Not Getting The Impression At All that is happening. the radio says the weather is extreme and earthquakes are being used to break up storms but we aren’t seeing any of that. the sky is only partly cloudy here, you would think if nature is tearing itself apart it would be everywhere and very extreme. the book tells us it would be the apocalypse
lmao mrs dodds reappearance let’s see where this goes
they made her way nicer here lmao but i don’t hate it
yes!!! annabeth giving him her necklace for luck i love
those r pretty weak storm clouds like we’re finally getting some clouds and they’re just weak as hell. what happened to the sky being black. they’re so light and sparse. i had to rewind to see the lightning they so don’t look like storm clouds. and i know if they completely covered everything we wouldn’t see the establishing shot of the empire state building but maybe pick a different one. instead of a top down, we look up, feeling small in the shadow of the gods, as storm clouds swirl around the empire state building, obscuring the top, storms obscuring olympus itself as it is plunged into war
“i don’t have an appointment” lmao
“annabeth is afraid of spiders” just stated. once again telling not showing. but i LOVE the analogy about big things squishing small, scary things. i love it a lot that was rly good
hilarious that percy’s necklace’s cord is so thick compared to luke and annabeth’s like it highlights how empty it is
idk how i feel abt olympus. it’s grand, as it should be, and i presume empty bc of the war (but like. Everyone is gone? nobody… stays to fight? or people who don’t fight but olymous is their home? they all leave? they all leave their home? would all the demigods leave chb? no?? the books literally show the demigods prepare for war towards the end of the series?), it feels ancient as it should, but idk if it feels… godly? divine? like it should be radiating. i’m not getting paradise vibes but i can try to justify it to myself with the war
OF COURSE HE IS?????? (reading this back idk what this references lmao?)
zeus does not feel asshole enough. i love lance reddick. rly i do. i am heartbroken he is gone. i would never have cast him as zeus.
still hate the kronos thing
“i surrender” regardless of my feelings abt the show or this scene or the implications this has this does still make me emotional
bitch he’s one 2 talk lmaooo LMAO AND POSEIDON SAID AS SUCH
enjoying the greek idk how accurate it is will have 2 ask bestie but we love seeing the greek gods speak greek of course
“obedience doesn’t come naturally to you” “no. sir” LMAOO IDK IF I WROTE THAT DOWN RIGHT BUT THAT WAS KINDA FUNNY
“the sea does not like to be restrained” YES!!
…sally taught him ancient greek? hm. idk. they’re erasing the way percy knew so little abt the mythical, percy and annabeth’s dynamic in the book is he’s out of his element in the mythical world and she’s out of her element in the mortal world. they need each other. this annabeth is very clueless abt the mortal world’s culture, but this percy just knows so much abt the mythical world, i am not getting the impression they need each other
“do you ever dream about mom?” killed me. im dead. im six feet deep im gone. the rest of these notes will be written from the great beyond
oh ok i guess the pearl works for that too?
thalia tree looking kinda wimpy ngl. why is it so. skinny and like skinny all of a sudden in its trunk and its branches so thin. they should be full and lush THIS is the magical tree protecting camp’s borders? created by zeus to preserve his daughter??
stoll brothers?? maybe? idk? two kids of a similar age who could be brothers, mistaken for twins, even, seen for like half a second?? i’m leaping already
THE HUG
oh so excited for this scene let’s gooo luke and percy yes yes yes my excitement for this was so much my mom got annoyed lmaooo
ARE THOSE TEARS IN LUKES EYES
RECRUIT??? OKAYYY THIS IS INTERESTING!!! IT GOES BAD SO HE PULLS OUT THE SCORPION??
also you’re trying to recruit him after you tried to kill him by sending him into tartarus?? lmao?
BACKBITER??? IS IT HALF AND HALF?? IDK I CANT TELL?? BACKBITER??
ok yea backbiter. miss luke’s introduction of it in the book tho. how its deadly to the moral and the mythical
loving the ambiance of the fireworks through the trees omg
“i met your dad” being the thing that sets luke over the edge yes yes yes this fight isn’t Incredible but the fight scenes in this episode are LEAGUES BETTER THAN THE PREVIOUS EPISODES
mixed feelings abt annabeth being there. i like that she got to hear luke’s betrayal first hand and obviously i like her defending percy but her being so hesitant abt luke is so important to the series. she had no hesitation at all. :/
also miss the scorpion. i do miss the premeditated attempted murder
we’re skipping all of percy’s stay at chb? :(( makes me so sad. but peep the new bead. wish we got more focus on that instead of it just being there we just breezed past percy’s summer at camp :(
“you are a leader in the eyes of your follow half bloods” no. No. NO. not until after the titan’s curse does percy step into the leader’s role STOP RUSHING THINGS, DAM(N).
OH WE JUST SKIPPED OVER ANNABETH DECIDING TO GO HOME?? WHAT ABT HER AND PERCY TALKING ABT IT?? WHAT HE SAYS IS WHAT MAKES HER SERIOUSLY CONSIDER IT RIGHT?? i can’t remember if the train scene was supposed to be that scene but what the hell
ALSO ANNABETHS HAIR YESSS I LOVE HER TO DEATH THATS MY GIRL!!!!! SHE LOOKS SO GOOD
GROVERS SEARCHERS LICENSE
SEARCHING THE SEAS YES THAT MAKES SENSE FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THE SEA OF MONSTERS SET UP OK
okayyyy trio being cute
theeee beach looks exactly the same? and the owners don’t lock the door? i get before maybe it was magically unlocked but the owners didn’t stop by? is it just magically unlocked again? (i guess. was it a dream?)
JACKSON REUNION STILL GETS ME
OH???????
lmao percy being sassy. well. ok no. he’s a little too confident. book percy even when he said bold things in the face of gods was usually a little scared still on some level especially in the first book we should be seeing some of that and why tf kronos just telling him his plans also idk if i rly like the grim reaper vibes he got going on
wait what
we’re skipping over their real reunion?? or was that real? what happened?
enjoying percy’s room tho it’s pretty close to how i imagined
they never explained the blue food as sally’s sign to percy she still has her sense of self, as her sign of rebellion against abuse. it’s just there. it feels like when the blue food became a fandom meme and it seemed to lose its meaning as a mother’s reassurance to her child that she was ok, she was herself, despite all the hell they’ve endured. now it’s just here. checked off on a list. tossed half-heartedly to book fans and horribly unexplained to new fans. ://///
SALLY DOESNT KILL GABE???????? SALLY DOESNT KILL GABE!!!!!! RICHARD RUSSELL RIORDAN JUNIOR. YOU FUCKER. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER. IM COMING FOR UR ASS, BOY. RICK??? DISNEY??? WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS SOME FUCKING NERVE.
i. wh. this episode was pretty solid until this. i am devastated. how could they do this to sally. how could they do this to the story. just. how could they do this?? and for what? a joke? even in the movie where percy kills gabe it’s funny but it’s still INTENTIONAL what the fuck i don’t even. i don’t even know how to process this. i cant even say the wind has been taken out of my sails. my sails caught on fire and disintegrated. i am stranded in the middle of the sea with no sails at all.
#once again i am just. tired#i was so hyped and i loved the episode sm all the way thru until.#:(#overall everything feels so watered down and disappointing#i don’t even. i don’t know man.#pjo finale#pjo show crit#pjo finale spoilers
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wait mads have we talked about how the flatmates dealt with the basically two full years the boys were on tour and barely at home?? soppy phone calls?? letters?? omg what if he was missing really big deal times like deadlines and coursework stuff and so sad he can’t be there and in the same vein our girl feels terrible for not being able to support the boys but she’s so swamped with school
or are we just pretending it didn’t happen and they lived together the whole time lol
do u mean 2013/14 because if so then they weren't even together for most of that lmfao it's in october 2014 that they finally admit it. but i think there's weekly phone calls/facetimes, looooooooong ones, because even as a friend matty's like "you're living on your own and i just want to make sure you're ok. also i miss you and i want to hear life updates", and i also think matty sends postcards while he's away; you keep all of them and put them in a little scrapbook, and even now you have it at home and show it to the babies sometimes. and even while it's still platonic (insofar as that was ever platonic lol), you both feel horrible about not being there to support the other in-person - you do fly over for coachella and to film the robbers vid, though, and matty flies home to celebrate you passing the first year of your degree (it's a two-year one, part-time so you can work and earn money while you study) even though you told him it wasn't a big deal because "it's not like i'm graduating right now lol". he didn't care. any excuse to celebrate you, he'll take. but it's lowkey hellish being apart, because you're both convinced the other is going on like a mad hedonistic sex spree, and it's agonising to think that; really, though, you both have the odd shag here and there, but it's mostly just pining lol. actually, to that end, i wonder if matty sits and writes you love letters when he really misses you, just to get his feelings out, and just tucks them away in his suitcase once they're done - maybe he actually gives them to you at one point when you're together, even as a pre-wedding present, because he found them and he still feels the exact same (minus the yearning lol). that would be cute <3
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hii!! this is my first post ever.. wow what am i supposed to write?
i’ll leave you a little *not so little* sneak peek of my ex!suguru geto x reader fanfic
full version (18+) is uppp on my ao3 account: chrxllv_ii
part 2 has been posted here too so you can check it out:
name: baby, i’m yours || ex!suguru x reader
***
It’s been a few weeks since you and Suguru officially ended it. And you did an admirable job at avoiding him.
On the halls, you’d just pass him fast enough to not let him speak a word to you. And during class you kept yourself busy by talking to Shoko. Or occasionally with Satoru.
You liked to see Geto squint his eyes and glare at the both of you while you smiled at his best friend. Served him right.
And while you made your way towards the Jujutsu High’s library, you sure didn’t expect this day to be the one on which you talked to him again.
It was pretty late at night, your favorite time to get your stuff done. The library was almost always empty.
You were really behind on the thesis you had to wrote. The professor gave you three weeks to finish the assignment and now the deadline was in two days.
It wouldn’t have been that difficult if you had any idea about the topic you had to write on. But you didn’t and so you had to do all the research you were supposed to get done with in the first week.
Usually Suguru helped you with that.
You didn’t need that asshole to help you with anything anymore. You were sure you’d manage on your own. The night was long after all.
The library was empty just as you expected it to be. “Good” you thought and sat your papers down on one of the tables, heading to pick up the books you needed.
You heard the floor creaking behind you and the door opening. So there was someone else behind on their work. Well it didn’t matter much as long as they kept quiet.
Turning on your heels, you wished your eyes were deceiving you. Suguru was sitting on your chair, one corner of his mouth raised in a mocking smile. And he was staring at you.
Taking one deep breath you made your way towards the table, clutching those books as if your whole life depended on it.
“That was my seat, Geto” you huffed and stared right back at him in his stupidly pretty eyes.
“My apologies, I had no idea” he raised his hands in defense and moved… on the chair right next to yours.
“The library is empty, you know? Could’ve picked any table in here and you wouldn’t have risked stealing someone’s place”
“Oh but I really like this one” Suguru said and reached for the book he placed on the table. Your table.
Well you couldn’t move or leave now. What if he got the wrong impression? His presence did not affect you one bit.
If he wanted to be annoying you’ll be the bigger person and ignore him. So you sat down and opened the first book you picked earlier.
But Suguru wasn’t there to study and it was painfully obvious. At first he shifted his chair closer to yours. Ignore him.
After that he looked carefully at the books you picked and smirked. The idiot realised you had trouble with the subject he used to help you with. But to his credit, he kept his mouth shut.
Finally he returned to his book but it didn’t take long for him to try and get your attention again. Suguru placed his hand on your knee and that earned him a cold look from you.
“Geto” you warned and thought about moving your leg away from his touch.
“Sorry” he said but didn’t raise his eyes from his book. “Out of habit, I guess” he murmured but he didn’t move his hand.
Ignore him. He’s obviously trying to annoy you but you wouldn’t dare give him the satisfaction.
To be fair, Geto thought he’d get more words out of you by touching you. Yes, you two were broken up but didn’t you want him too? At least a kiss? Maybe more?
He started moving his hand up your thigh. Slowly. Going back and forth. His eyes were on the book but all his attention was fixed on the feeling of your skin under his touch and your stupid short skirt.
What are you thinking? Move away from him!
But you didn’t. This traitorous body of yours melted in his touch.
“That’s one hell of an interesting first page, huh?” Suguru’s voice broke the silence. “You’ve been staring at it for.. what? ten minutes now?”
Oh, he was insufferable. You closed the book and looked at him for the second time during this disaster of a night.
“It’s quite hard to concentrate when someone’s stalking your every move. What are you doing here anywa-“
But you went silent as he wasn’t listening to your words. He was just staring at your lips.
“Geto? What are you doing?”
“Let me kiss you, princess” he breathed and your eyes widened. “Please” And you nodded.
It was impossible to refuse his plea, it had to be. In the dim light of the library Suguru looked even more beautiful than he usually did and when he looked at you.. It made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. The only one he wanted.
That was Suguru’s effect on you. That’s why you avoided him so much. Your relationship had been far from perfect, that’s why it also ended but he always knew what to say to get to you. That’s why it took you so much to end it.
But you couldn’t think straight with Suguru’s hand on the back of your neck, holding you close as his mouth was over yours.
There was nothing delicate about that kiss. It was rough and desperate, his teeth tugging at your bottom lip. Small noises escaped your throat as he didn’t give you time to breath and you knew that turned him on.
“Fuck” he smiled against your lips. “You taste even sweeter than before”
He stopped kissing you and moved on to your jawline, to that small spot right under your ear. He knew you loved it when he kissed you there.
And you did. The moment his lips touched you again, your hands slipped unconsciously around his neck. You needed to hold onto him.
The small sound of your chair scraping against the tiled floor as you moved closer to him brought you back for a second.
This wasn’t right, you were broken up. You were done with him, you ended it. And you two were getting at it in a fucking library.
“Geto, stop it” it took everything in you to try and push him away but that seemed impossible. His arms were closed so tightly around you.
“But you’re so pretty” he murmured and tugged with his teeth at your skin. “It’s your fault really”
“We can’t” you told him and he looked up to you. Did he look… sad? Disappointed? Not the point. “I mean, what are we doing? We’re in a library, Geto, for fuck’s sake”
He watched you for a few more seconds before opening his mouth again.
"Satoru's gone for the night" he told you and applied a wet kiss to your shoulder. "Come on, princess, indulge me"
One hand was still caressing your thigh as the other cupped your cheek. He looked at you like that again, his face mere inches away from yours and you hated how annoyingly pretty he was.
You could see it in his eyes how much he wanted you to say yes. How much he wanted to kiss you again. How much he wanted to do many, many unspeakable things to you right there and then.
"Fuck you, Geto Suguru" you said and grabbed his wrist, pulling him after you as you made your way towards his room.
You’ll have time to regret this decision later. Now you couldn’t stand him staring at you like that any longer.
He grinned like an idiot the whole way across the hall. He always got what he wanted after all.
***
the rest is on ao3 if you’d like to give it a try! comments and likes are very much appreciated<3
#fanfic#geto x y/n#geto x you#geto x reader#getou suguru smut#jjk smut#jjk imagines#sugurugeto#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu kaisen#ao3 writer#break up#boyfriend#relationship#ex relationship#ao3 fanfic#geto suguru#high school#jujutsu high#fiction#dm me for my content#love#pinning#kissing#fluff and smut#post breakup
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love at first, love at second, love at last
veintitres: te perdono (tal vez) (+ wc: 0.9k)
SUMMARY: sae had chosen his career and that was shortly followed by his and y/n's separation. three years pass by and amongst all the lurking and stalking each other's socials, sae is suddenly found back in their hometown. old feelings are resurfaced, current ones are questioned and a whole load of future ones are found in a blur.
veintidós | masterlist | veinticuatro
an icon pops up on the screen. kurona has joined, ultimately.
“you can stay muted, i’ll make it quick.”
a ding.
i hate you
you briefly laugh before you say, “i love you, too.”
ew
“get to the point, y/n. we don’t have all day.” isagi unmutes himself just to utter those words out and you roll your eyes in pseudo-annoyance.
“once you reach my age, you’ll be pulling all-nighters left and right to get your stuff done.”
or we will get them done during the day, or days before the deadline !
“okay, kurona. i get it!”
STOP DIGRESSING.
“yes, everything oliver told you—it’s true.”
both unmute.
“FOR REAL?”
“NO FUCKING WAY.”
“yeah, i felt almost… hm,” you stroke your chin in thought as you try to think of the exact word depicting how you’d felt in that moment. “forced? obligated? plus, yeah, sure, it was in the heat of the moment but i don’t regret it.”
you expected commotion but the guys pleasantly surprise you as they unmute once again and start talking.
“are you sure?” isagi asks, you can hear the hesitation in his voice as if he was tiptoeing around the topic. he knows when not to pry too deep.
you nod your head. “yep, positive.”
“even if… i mean, i do try to see it from your view. you’ve always been a good person but some people just don’t deserve second chances.”
silence.
“eh… ehh— i didn’t mean sae exactly. i was just saying.”
“you’re right, yeah.” you say after a moment of stillness.
“but also—” you cut yourself off.
“hm?” isagi hums almost immediately.
“i don’t know. i’m just so confused right now.”
“speak, we will listen.”
“who said i wo—”
isagi mutes kurona.
“you shall continue.”
YOU……. WHEN I CATCH YOU…
“i don’t want to keep you here for long so i’ll just go over what’s on my mind quickly. the contract, my kinda job, all of that right?”
“yeah?”
“it’s not even about them at this point. sure, we are still awkward around each other but it’s mostly coming from my side, if that makes sense? i try not to let my guard too much around him.”
“hmm…yeah? yeah. and?”
“and i think i’m starting to accept the reason why i did that in the first place.”
“he hurt you, it was only right to be cautious around him, y/n…” isagi says with his sweet and caring voice. if only he was like this more often.
“thank you, isagi.”
I AGREE IM HERE TOO.
“thank you, too, kurona.” you say between breathy laughs.
“so what’s the reason?”
“i think,” you inhale, “i think i’m falling down the same hole again.”
HUH?
“kurona, you want me to unmute you?”
NO
no i mean
“what hole?”
“the—”
“oh!” isagi interrupts you. “you’re starting to like him again… is what i’m getting… ?”
HOPEFUKLY YOURE WRONG
“yeah.” you exhale, tension in your body gradually leaving.
*RIGHT
“oh.”
“isagi, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. i hate it, too. i’ve been done wrong and now look at me, catching feelings again.”
“i’m really glad you’re aware. but also—”
yet another silence.
“yeah? continue.”
“maybe… give it another shot? i’m not telling you to do it, just consider it and don’t torture yourself more. he explained himself, too, right? again, that doesn’t give him a pass, but yeah, just… him saying that means something! him saying things out of his own will!”
i hate to say this but as much as i don’t like him and despite what i said about not giving second chances… maybe it’s worth a shot ? as isagi said, he also tried to explain himself (DOESNT MAKE IT OK OR EGGZCUSABLE!!) it’s been some years and you both must’ve matured .. to some extent.
“HEY?!”
i’m just saying🤷
you hate yourself for ignoring their opinion but as you read over the message and heard the words from isagi, you knew that what you were feeling was unmistakably real.
“it’s about to be 3.”
“y/n… think about it, yeah? we will support you no matter what.”
you let a small smile overtake your lips. “thank y—”
“after football.”
“never mind.”
i’m going yall, my eyes r closing🔥
“sleep well. both of you. thank you for listening to me, as always.”
gn!!💝
“good night, y/n.”
“also guys, before you disconnect! the reason why i told him first was!!! because i already expected you to come. so if you don’t, i will be very sad, just so you know!”
isagi laughs, hitting his desk—from what you can hear. “alright, alright. we shall steal all the spotlight.”
“bye!!!!!!!”
and... end call.
you close your laptop and fall face-first in your bed. first time acknowledging your lingering feelings, out loud, too. you squeeze your eyes in embarrassment.
this can’t be real. this can’t be real.
after all the years that you were separated from each other; you desperately tried reaching out while he was living his life, ignoring your calls and messages and giving you his half-assed apology and reason for separation, you still found yourself attached to him.
oh, god, you can only hope that it doesn’t get any further than this.
(you know you're jinxing it, so you think of reverse psychology as to counter this fact.)
a/n: not proofread i apologize + THE WAY THIS IS DRAGGING ON OMG ILL KMS (theres a reason actually!! ill explain it after the series/2nd act ends!!! eventually yes..) ....... itll end soon i promise pls bear w me :ˇ')
tag list: @kiopanxp @funtuki @silly-ez @asteroskoniiii @keijiqahara @pikibee @tamimemo @kaitfae @biaonww @y-sabell-a @kaiserkisser @winterpein @bloombb @yyoichisgirl
#blue lock#blue lock au#sae itoshi#itoshi sae#blue lock imagines#blue lock scenarios#itoshi sae smau#smau#social media au#reader insert#saeitoshi#exes to lovers#fluff#angst#blue lock smau#bllk smau
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Do you have any thoughts/headcanons on ge//ri//ta??
SO many thoughts. It’s the foundational ship for this fandom ofc.
Firstly, let me establish that I am a Germany-is-HRE truther. Everyone knows that EXCEPT Lutz himself but they all just kind of agree to not mention it. So Feli KNOWS that the boy he love(s/d) is RIGHT. THERE. But he can’t say anything to suggest they’re the same person because to Lutz, that’s a different nation who died, and Feli doesn’t want to confuse or upset him. But Lutz does love him, and not just because of any lingering memories from before!!! He fell in love with Feli completely on his own, and he would fall in love with him over and over again. AUGH. Once they both get their heads out of their asses and express their feelings for each other, FELI is actually the one who takes it slow because he’s afraid of making Lutz feel like he’s just a stand-in for HRE. Feli doesn’t want to jump right to “established relationship” because even though that’s how it kind of feels for him, that’s not how it feels for Lutz. So they take it slow <3 first dates, flowers, first kisses… augh.
Anyways enough with the amnesia agony. THE AGE GAP!!!! Lutz, in his experience, is only about 150 years old. But Feli has been around for over 1300 years. Cradle robber smh. It just cracks me up. And Feli forgets sometimes that Ludwig doesn’t remember anything before the 1870s so he’ll offhandedly mention something that happened hundreds of years ago as if everyone knows it, and Lutz is just like ??? I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. So even though Lutz often thinks that he’s the more “mature” one, Feli will make some joke about Byzantine Empire being bad in bed and Lutz suddenly feels very, very young. Feli often has to explain in-jokes between all the older nations to him or provide an INSANE amount of context for a simple passing comment. Lana del ray wants what they have.
Ok enough background. Let’s get to the headcanons
Their first dates were very simple <3 Museums, restaurants, art galleries, etc. Feli loves taking Lutz to art galleries and explaining the artworks and their historical backgrounds in vivid detail, and Lutz could listen to Feli talk passionately about art and architecture all day <333 Really I think he just likes the sound of his voice, his musical accent and animated speech. Every once in a rare while Feli will sing, maybe just a couple lines to a song, and Lutz fucking MELTS. They stopped going to restaurants after their first few dates after Lutz was like. Actually. Your cooking is way better and I like helping you in the kitchen. So let’s just do that instead. <3 Realistically a lot of their dates are things they were doing before they were a couple, just in a different light.
Feli taught Lutz how to relax <3 lounging in bed all day, curling up on the sofa with a cup of cocoa and a good book, just enjoying life without worrying about deadlines and routines. Although I don’t think Lutz will ever be able to sleep in the same way Feli can, they absolutely spend Saturday mornings in bed until midday, just tangled up in each other with not a care in the world <3
Conversely, Lutz taught Feli the joys of physical activity besides the walk from the sofa to the fridge lol. Hikes, bike rides, anything that gets them outside and moving. Feli has never been super outdoorsy or active, but breathing in crisp Alpine air and being surrounded by trees older than him is incredible. And he’s enjoying it with the man he loves <3
Meals! Entrées are Italian, desserts are German. Feli never acquired a taste for German food but goddamn that man can make a pie like nobody else. Feli is a lot more passionate about cooking (and Lutz can’t be trusted in front of a stove) but Lutz is happy to help chop vegetables or stir a pot of sauce. The one time they switched roles, Feli was stuck eating some sad, burnt to all hell potato and beef thing, and Lutz learned that he really hates tiramisu. This is not a condemnation of German food, they have some bangers, Lutz is just a bad cook lol.
They do indeed fight and argue like every other couple. Feli tends to be messy, leaving laundry all over the place and not cleaning up his dishes, whereas Lutz is neurotic about cleanliness and goes INSANE trying to convince Feli to just. Put his laundry in the fucking basket. Feli gets mad because sometimes Lutz will treat him like he’s incompetent or just outright stupid. Like there’s a reason he’s still alive and thriving after all this time. Get fucked mate. Ultimately their fights often come down to Feli being inconsiderate and Lutz being condescending.
They’re both fucking obsessed with how the other looks. Lutz is all strength and muscle and Feli wants to bite down on his forearms like a chew toy, and Lutz will never get enough of how Feli’s little waist feels in his hands or having those long legs wrapped around his hips. Also Ludwig is often like:
lol anyways. That’s all I’ve got right now, I have to do my timesheets or I won’t get paid for this week.
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Halloween (chapter 2)
Book: Open Heart
Chapter: 2/7
Characters: Jensen Valentine, Aliyah (OC)
Rating: Teen
Words: 865
Chapter Summary: Moving backwards in the timeline (as this story is in reverse chronological order), we're now at the chemical attack to see who was there for him when he needed it.
Not necessarily who should've been there.
A/N: casey, who is mentioned briefly, belongs to @jerzwriter
Lyrics:
It's an ode to the hole that I found myself stuck in
A song for the grave that I dug
There's a murder of crows in the low light off Boston
And I see your face in each one
Hands halfway in his unpacked bag, Jensen was watching out the window. It looked down to the courtyard as leafless trees swayed in the wind and sprinkling of snow. A crow ruffled its feathers, flapping the snowflakes off, then settled once again. Next to it was a smaller crow, hopping closer to it on the long branch until they were nearly touching. It hopped away, then the other hopped closer, and that went on until the larger of the two flew out of the tree and long gone into the city.
Jensen hadn’t been outside in a number of days now, impatiently watching the nights and days pass until he was healthy enough to leave. Both physically and mentally, that was.
While a surprise to others, he was ready to go. It was over, and, though there was still aftermath to address, he was ready to be done with it. He was surprised he ever made it this far, honestly. Throughout and even before undergrad, anything beyond was a fleeting feeling. Usually people like him didn’t make it out of the gutter, and when they did, it was short-lived.
He thought it was all over months ago when the ethics hearing happened and his reputation was tarnished with a false accusation. Making it past that was a miracle, and, though he probably shouldn’t mention it to his therapist, it made the attack feel inevitable. Like he had missed his deadline and it was coming back to get him worse than before.
He was nearly done packing his bag, grabbing his phone and Switch charger from the wall.
“Knock knock,” he heard from the door, a familiar but unexpected voice as its source.
He whipped around towards the door, Aliyah standing there with a sad sort of smile. Opening his mouth once, then twice, both times failing to get anything out, he took a breath. “What are you doing here?”
She invited herself into the room. “Oh, I don’t know. I mean, when your best friend almost dies, you’d think it’d be nice of him to give you a call. And maybe you should come see him, considering that nobody else would.”
He could hear the tension in her tone, but her being there was enough to prove it didn’t matter. They hadn’t talked in a number of months—not genuinely in years—so to see her there was a shock.
He couldn’t manage more than a guilty look, apology on his face. She crossed the room to meet him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He tensed for a beat but settled only a moment after, breathing out the shakiness and wrapping his arms over her shoulders.
“Thanks,” he said. He meant it, but it still felt forced. He knew he never had to force anything with her, but it felt right considering their time apart.
She pulled back only a second later, giving him a characteristic smile before motioning towards the door. “You good to go, I’m guessing?”
He nodded, shouldering his bag and following her out.
He avoided eye contact with others in the hall. Namely, Casey’s parents, who were hovering nervously around her room, and Raf’s Vovo, filtering in and out of his room since Jensen had been up and able to wander freely.
Maybe he should’ve called Liyah from the start. It felt wrong, considering that their recent conversations amounted to no more than an Instagram story reply or chatting about a new album from their favorite artists. But she cared. More than anyone else had—more than certain people should.
But he felt he didn’t deserve it. He had practically ghosted her through med school and didn’t even offer her a proper goodbye when he left. People had left him for less so what was he doing that was keeping her around?
He should’ve had somebody to call. He should’ve known someone would give a shit, but the lines had always been so blurred that he could never tell if it was sincere or if it was out of obligation. With Liyah it was sincerity. The same way when she picked him up when he was high and drunk, waiting on some street corner in the pouring fucking rain because his phone died and he decided to hook up with a stranger that didn’t give a fuck if he stayed or left. The same way when she told him to get the fuck out of the band because she knew if he pushed himself any harder he’d hit the end of the road. The same way when she showed up unannounced after not talking to him seriously for nearly five years to take care of him when nobody else would.
It was sincere, and maybe he had such a hard time telling it because he had never seen it before.
Outside, she packed him into her rental car. She slid into the seat behind the wheel and started the drive to their home for the next week: a mediocre hotel with enough space to breathe but not enough to feel too hollow. It was a practiced sort of art, and if anyone would know what he needed, it would’ve been her.
tagging: @jerzwriter @cariantha @kyra75 @gutsfics @inlocusmads @choicesficwriterscreations
#jensen valentine#open heart#open heart mc#open heart choices#choices open heart#open heart fanfic#chemical attack
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gonna use tumblr like livejournal for a minute, just personal musings under the cut.
I'm so scattered today. I can feel my brain reaching frantically for anything it thinks will give us a little hit of dopamine to combat this horrible feeling of entering the pet-with-cancer gauntlet again. The last time I did this was in 2010 with my heart-cat, and it was fucking awful. I had nightmares for almost a year afterward where I would wake up screaming and crying from dreaming that she hadn't died after all and she'd just been slowly starving to death while I neglected her, or some other equally terrible narrative my subconscious made up out of the guilt of not being able to save her.
I'm hoping that in almost 15 years maybe my subconscious has learned some better coping methods than just torturing all of us.
It also means that I'm questioning any plans that take me away from home, or any decisions to change jobs or... Well, you probably get it. Her first appointment with the oncologist is Thursday, so we'll know more then. Feeling guilty that I have to request time off from work again right after I finally got my requested schedule, but they don't do evaluation appointments on any days I'm already off.
(Just talking out the guilt at this point.)
Anyway. I was going to talk about the projects I want to work on and how I can feel my brain fluttering around them like "maybe this would distract us." Let's see if it does.
I want to finish the final Maya & Grace story and collect them all into a little omnibus that I can do a print run of. Problems: I have to decide where I want them to go. It will also have to be a slightly longer story than the other two-and-a-half to make the collection long enough to print. I also want to revisit/rewrite "Shiver," since I felt like it wasn't ready to publish when I put it out, but I had promised a friend that we would both write Halloween stories that year and then they passed away over the summer, so I felt like I needed to keep that promise somehow. But it needs some finessing.
Night Is For Hunting needs some rewriting too. Basically what got published was my first draft. And that's how I learned that I cannot write to someone else's deadline, even with an extension. I'll have the rights for all three books back in April of next year (April? June?) and would like to celebrate by releasing the Director's Cut of NIFH so that I can get on with the business of writing Wilderness of Horrors.
I wanted to write a thoughtful blog-article type piece on the effect of economic class on my choice of narratives. I realized that I write a lot of stories about people's complicated relationships with their hometowns - wanting to leave, but also not feeling confident in where they're going. I read an advice book once that was like, "What does your character want?" and the answer to almost all of them was "To get out," and it really comes back to the fact that I write small town, working class characters as a default. And when you're from a small town in an economically depressed area, you understand from the start that there's not a bright future for you there. You can graduate high school and get a job at the 7/11 or the Piggly Wiggly and get married to one of your old classmates and have kids that you don't have the time, attention, or money to care for -- or you can leave. You can go to a bigger town with more opportunity and people you don't already know. And you might end up worse, but hey, the dice are there for you to roll. Add to that if you're queer or neurodivergent, especially in a time before the internet, and whew buddy! You've heard that all authors just write the same stories over and over? That's the one I keep writing. I guess because it's mine, in a lot of ways.
Blackthorn is languishing thanks to all the stress and stuff but it was going so well and I really want to finish writing it before I focus on the rewrite projects (there are three). But the rewrite projects are so seductive because lmao they're already written. I just have to fix them. And I'm so much better at fixing them.
All right. clawed myself out of the worst of the abyss for now.
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The Marriage Pact
By: TalktomeinClexa
Rating: Mature
Warning: None
Status: WIP
Summary: Two childhood best friends swear to marry each other if they are still single by 34. As the years pass and no one else seems good enough, the deadline approaches. Will they go through with it? Can one marry their best friend and truly be happy?
***
Chapter 1: Children Know Best
The branch cracked ominously under the young girl when she stepped on it. Green eyes looked at the ground with worry, calculating. She stood seven, maybe eight feet above the ground. The fall wouldn’t cause much damage to an adult. But for a seven-year-old, it might as well have been Everest.
Lexa grabbed the branch closest to her right hand. Carefully, she shifted her weight. Her left foot left the traitorous branch and landed on a larger one. She tested it. Once. Twice. It held.
She was about to climb higher to see if she could beat her previous record when a voice caught her attention.
“No! Leave me alone.”
A girl seemed to be in trouble just under the tree Lexa was in. All she could see was blond hair paler than wheat, and the dark heads of the two boys around her.
Undeterred by the danger, Lexa climbed down more quickly than she ever had. More than was safe. She let go of the trunk and landed next to the girl with a huff, surprising both her and the boys.
“Leave her alone.”
Sadly, the boys recovered quickly. One of them snickered while his friend shoved her shoulder.
“Mind your own business. What were you doing up there, anyway? Do you live up there because nobody wants you? Squirrel.”
“Squirrel,” the second boy said in a mocking voice. “That’s right. Nobody wants you, Squirrel.”
Lexa fought against the tears welling in her eyes. She knew it wasn’t true. Her mom and dad loved her very much. They told her so every day. But it was also true she didn’t have many friends. The others found her weird, too quiet. They called her bookworm, brainy, four-eyed… It wasn’t rare to see her spend recess with her nose in a book because nobody asked her to play with them.
“Shut up, Murphy.”
The blonde advanced with a menacing scowl, forcing the two boys to step back.
The one she had talked to frowned, his lips pulling at the corners to reveal his teeth. “What? Is she your girlfriend? Are you really a boy then, Superman?”
“You’re just a bully. Nobody likes bullies. You won’t have friends if you continue like this.”
Vexed, the boys flexed their muscles, and Lexa wondered if she would soon find herself in her first fistfight. Her yellow belt in Aikido might prove useful.
“John. Nate. It’s time to leave.”
The boy with the largest nose of the two sighed and rolled his eyes at the woman calling for him and his friend. “This isn’t over, Superman.”
“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” the girl said once the troublemakers had gone.
Lexa felt her ears redden under the blue eyes staring at her. “I didn’t do much. You were the brave one.”
“You inspired me, then. They have been teasing me for weeks and today was the first time I fought back.”
“Why do they annoy you?” Lexa asked, confused. The girl seemed nice. With her round face, deep blue eyes, and pale hair, she was very cute. Who wouldn’t like her?
“My name is Clarke. I like it, but they say that it’s a boy’s name. Mom says it’s because they are jealous. They wish they had cool names like me.”
“Well, boys are idiots.” Lexa had heard her older sister Anya say it enough times recently to believe it to be true.
Clarke let out a peal of melodious laughter. “I guess you’re right… You haven’t told me your name.”
“Alexandria.”
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