If I feel bad he does too

Lost and Found

Summary: On a run into a nearby town, Daryl and Y/N encounter a bad group of men. Daryl takes a beating and you get taken. He won't stop until he finds you.

Daryl Dixon x F!Reader, 5.7k words

Era: Prison! Post-Woodbury merge, pre-attack

TW: SA and attempted rape. Please don't push your boundaries!

Here it is, my first Walking Dead fanfiction and the first fic I've written or published in over 8 years. Feel free to leave comments, criticism, requests, and anything else! Hopefully, yall enjoy!

3 hours and 27 minutes.

That’s how long Daryl had been searching for you. How long you’ve been missing, since you’ve been taken.

It was supposed to be a normal run, calm even. A few days ago, the two of you found a seemingly untouched bookstore 30 minutes from the prison. You wanted to go in, practically begged Daryl to stop. To your immense disappointment, he refused.

“Daryl, please!” You pouted from the passenger seat of the truck.

He could hear the whine in your voice and focused his attention on the road. If he looked over and saw your full lips in a frown, he would give right there. He would do anything for you, and you knew it. This trick has worked on him since the early days of the quarry since you walked up to him and asked him to watch over you while you cleaned off in the water. He didn’t know you, hell, he could hardly stand you or anybody else, but he risked a glance up at your face. Your pretty eyes locked with his for just a moment, but that was all it took. He was yours for good.

“Nah, ain’t cleared. ‘Sides, don’t have enough room as is.” His rough voice answered, doing his best to keep his composure. He didn’t like telling you no. The truck was full of supplies, food and the like, for your group as well as the newcomers from Woodbury. You couldn’t fit goods from the bookstore.

He could feel the disappointment radiating from your side of the truck. He wouldn’t give in, not this time. But-

“We can come back later. Busy with Rick the next few days, but I’ll bring ya back.”

A cheer rang out. “Yes! You promise?” He fought to keep a grin off his face and nodded his affirmation. He glanced your way and saw the brightest smile on your face.

You excitedly began planning what you would grab, talking about all the books you could bring back for the children, for Carol, for yourself. Daryl didn’t recognize most of the titles and certainly none of the authors, but that didn’t matter. He would do anything for you, just to see that beautiful smile.

That was three days ago. Now, instead of gushing over your books, you were missing. Daryl doesn’t know how they knew you were coming, but not long after your arrival at the shopping center that housed the bookstore, you were both attacked.

Daryl somehow convinced you to stay in the truck while he cleared the stores of either side of your target. If anything went wrong in the main store, you could retreat through the connected alleyway and escape through one of these. The stores were clear of both people and walkers. Thinking back, he should’ve known better. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in the image of you waiting for him, maybe he would’ve been suspicious. Maybe he would have used his fucking brain.

Instead of doing his damn job and making sure you were safe, they got the jump on him. Daryl turned a corner on his way back to you and took a mean punch in the face. He stumbled back and tried to fire his crossbow at the attacker, but he was disarmed by another man. He took hit after hit, doing his best to fight back and hoping to God they didn’t see you outside. He was on the ground taking boots to the ribs and punches to the face when he heard your voice. No.

“Daryl?” You weren’t in the store yet, but you would be in no time. The hits lightened up at the sound and something akin to fear and desperation made him call out to you. He couldn’t risk you walking in and not knowing what awaited you. He wouldn’t be able to help you if he tried.

“Y/N, go! Get out-” He was cut off by a hard hit with the butt of a gun. The world spun and Daryl couldn’t see past the kaleidoscope of pain.

Despite his warning, you skidded to a stop in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of you.

“Well, hello there, gorgeous. Y/N, is it? Aren’t you a pretty thing. Name’s Robert.” A voice from above spoke and he vowed to cut the man’s tongue from his throat. He could hear the threat. You needed to get out of here before they hurt you or worse.

“Ya touch her and I swear to God...” Daryl growled. He was going to skin this man alive. He would cut his fingers off and feed them to him. Him and his buddies were going to wish they never spoke to you.

“God?” Robert huffs. “What are you and God gonna do? Huh?” He sauntered over to you. For every step the man took towards you, you retreated until you hit the wall. Daryl didn’t know why the hell you didn’t just run when he told you to. He wasn’t worth risking your life over.

When you were backed into a corner, Robert grinned. The fear on your face was exactly what that asshole wanted. He laid a hand against your throat and caressed your chin with his thumb. If Daryl could stand, he wouldn’t have no hand.

“W-what do you want?” Your eyes flicked back and forth from the threat in front of you to Daryl’s bloody form on the ground. He could see the anger and fear on your face and was furious at himself for getting the two of you into this position. If he just paid attention…

“I want to take that mouth of yours out for a test run, but I have a feeling you like to bite.”

Fuck this. Daryl lashed out at the closest person, and they dropped to one knee. Before anyone could react, he hauled himself up and kicked the same spot and was rewarded with a sickening crunch. Despite the burning in his ribs and chest, he spun around and delivered a right cross to the next man. He dropped and Daryl stalked towards you but was stopped in his tracks by the tell-tale click of a safety releasing.

“Take another step and I’ll blow her little brains all over the wall. Don’t think I won’t just because she’s a nice piece of ass.” The gun was pressed firmly against your forehead leaving no room to disarm him. The first tear rolled down your cheek as your chin quivered. Without looking away from Daryl, Robert leaned forward and slowly licked it off your face. You whimpered and tried to withdraw. The sound broke something in him, he would do anything to never have to hear you sound so helpless again.

 “Now you are going to sit your ass down and behave. Don’t make me hurt her.” Daryl wanted nothing more than to bash the fucker’s face in, but he couldn’t risk any more pain coming to you.

Shaking from the restraint, he forced himself backwards. One of the men grabbed him and shoved him onto his knees. He leaned in and locked eyes with Daryl.

“You broke my friend’s leg. Either you or the girl has to pay for that.” His rank breath invaded Daryl’s space and he glared daggers at him. His breath came out in huffs as he tried to keep his rage under control. The constant threats weren’t helping him restrain himself.

Daryl jerkily nodded. “Take it from me. Just leave her ‘lone.” He heard you cry out and instinctively broke eye contact to search for you. You were in the same spot, not having moved an inch. You looked devastated and he found it hard to keep eye contact with you, knowing he couldn’t help.

Tears continued to roll down your face as you sobbed. “Don’t- Don’t hurt him. Just let him go. Let him go and I’ll come with y’all.” What the hell were you thinking? He wasn’t going to let them take you anywhere. They could take their anger out on him, but they couldn’t have you. He was about to voice these thoughts before Robert spoke up.

“How about we hurt him and take you anyway?” He grinned maliciously, looking between the two of you. He was enjoying this display of emotion, and it made Daryl sick to his stomach.

His minions wasted no time and took Daryl for round 2 of his beatdown. He didn’t try to fight back; he kept his eyes locked on you. You would be okay. The longer they focused on him, the more chance for you to get away.

You could protect yourself if he couldn’t, he had made sure of that. Back at the farm, when Shane was becoming a threat to everyone, he taught you everything he knew. He was terrified you would be alone with him and in danger, so he taught you how to defend yourself.

He hated seeing the tears glistening in your eyes, hated being the cause of them, but if you were crying then you were alive. That’s all that mattered.

Daryl’s vision was getting hazy. He knew that if he went unconscious you would be alone and in danger, but he couldn’t stop it. He was sure he heard you calling his name before everything faded to black.

Daryl wasn’t sure how long he was unconscious for. His wounds stung, and the busted skin from the boots was bleeding steadily, so it couldn’t have been long. The blood on the floor was still wet.

The first thing he noticed was the silence. His hearing was sharp from years of hunting experience, and he knew there was nothing, undead or alive, in the store.

Where the hell were you?

He managed to get himself off the ground and ignored the immense pain he was in. It hurt like a bitch, but he would live. Blood and cracked ribs hadn’t stopped him before and it certainly wouldn’t now, not without knowing you were safe.

Robert and his men took Daryl’s crossbow but not his knives. While this put him at a disadvantage, he relished the idea of looking into their eyes while he gutted them. You were his.

He found your hunting knife not far from where you last stood. They must have forced you to disarm. If they were smart, which they clearly weren’t, he grumbled, then they would have patted you down. They didn’t see you as the threat you could be and so they were unaware of the second knife in your possession.

Something flared in his chest as he realized that it was his knife you were armed with. You took it some weeks ago and never gave it back. To be honest, watching you use it to kill walkers and train made his heart light up. At least he was with you in some capacity.

Daryl followed the disturbances on the ground. The parking lot was covered in dirt and leaves, so he could get an idea of which direction they went. There were two possible paths: the road or the woods. And because these dicks didn’t know who they fucked with; they went with the latter. Stupid sons of bitches. They walked right into his domain.

Y/N’s POV

Oh, these bastards are gonna pay.

The leader, Robert, had a hand wrapped around my waist. He was leading me into the woods and away from the shopping center. The creep’s hand kept wandering to my ass and I fought the urge to stab him in the throat now. I would get the pleasure of killing him but the other two would be able to subdue me quickly. It was better to wait.

“Still thinking about your archer? I’m sure he’s dead by now. Left the doors open for our rotting buddies to get a free meal.” His hand squeezed around my waist. I was sick of him touching me.

“Fuck you, you rapey asshole.” I spat. The only reason I was so meek in the store was in the hopes that it could help Daryl. Now he’s back there hurt while we are parading through the woods. No reason to keep my attitude in check now.

Robert’s hand disappeared from my side and a resounding smack filled the air as he backhanded me. I nearly fell to the ground, stumbling from the force, but he yanked me upright and slammed me into a tree.

“You’ll learn to watch your mouth, girl. Keep that attitude in check or I’ll have to show you something better to do with it.” He leaned in and took a deep breath, his nose tracing the skin of my shoulder up to my pulse point. I shuddered and did my best to not physically rebel. Handsy, I could handle. I didn’t want to see what would happen if I gave them a reason to go any further.

A rustling in the trees drew everyone’s attention and thankfully, Robert away from me. Daryl?

It was not my archer; it was a small herd of walkers. From my spot against the tree, I was the farthest away and had a front row seat. I watched as one of the walkers attacked the dude with the broken leg. He struggled with it for a minute but lost as his leg crumpled under his weight and a chunk of flesh was ripped from his throat.

The man screamed and screamed as his friends fought the others off. I couldn’t help feeling a sick sense of satisfaction and retribution as I watched him slowly die. Daryl breaking that man’s leg just sentenced him to death and helped even the odds. Even when he wasn’t here, he was protecting me.

Robert was using Daryl’s crossbow. His filthy hands were touching Daryl’s crossbow. I almost saw red at the disrespect he was displaying. Despite the dick’s handle on Daryl’s prized possession, I needed to focus on getting away.

I could run while they’re distracted… Unfortunately, Robert and his remaining friend managed to gain the upper hand against the herd before I had time to make my move. The one unnamed guy yanked me up by arm and dragged me towards Robert, who was staring down at his dead friend.

“What a shame. Nick was a good man.” Yeah, right. “He was slowing us down. Saved me the bullet.” He said impassively.

Oh shit. If he only cared about his friend in terms of how he could help or hinder, things could be worse for me than I thought. I needed to get out of here, and soon. As his buddy forced me past Nick’s body, I stumbled and fell to the ground. Blood coated my hands and knees.

“Goddamnit, girl. You that fuckin’ slow?” He seethed in my ear as he dragged me up from the ground.

“Now now, there’s no reason to get mad. Y/N’s just in shock. Never seen someone die by a geek?” Robert asked in his condescending tone. Of course, he thought I was a helpless girl, protected and sheltered from what life is now. Why not give him more reason to doubt my abilities?

“I, uh. Y-yeah. I knew it happened but I’ve never…” My voice wavered. I really needed to sell this. I thought about Daryl, how he was bloody and unmoving on the floor as they dragged me out. He could be dead and not just hurt. Tears sprang in my eyes and I sniffled.

“Well, we’ll keep you safe gorgeous.” Robert moved to take his friend’s place at my side, sending him to walk ahead of us. We edged around the puddle of blood and continued forward.

He didn’t notice me leaving a bloody handprint on the nearest tree.

Daryl’s POV

It wasn’t a hard trail to follow. Robert’s men took large, heavy steps through the foliage. To his relief, Daryl found evidence that you were still walking on your own. Smaller tracks, but not nearly as light as they could be. You weren’t trying to be careful. It was clear that you resisted at first, but someone must’ve forced you forwards, either by gunpoint or otherwise. He hoped it was the latter. Either way, he would find you soon enough.

Daryl followed as quickly and silently as he could. There were little to no walkers for much of the trek. The ones he did encounter, he dispatched quietly. He didn’t want to risk alerting the group of men that he was close behind. After some time, he began to see signs of a scuffle.

What happened here?

Scanning the ground, it was clear to Daryl that you were shoved. The set of feet that were by your side, too close to your side for his liking, stayed in one spot while yours dragged backwards.

The son of a bitch had put his hands on her. If he hurt you… The men were already going to die for taking you, but Daryl could drag it out. No need to make it clean and quick.

He looked at the scene ahead of the tree. Blood, walkers, and a dead body. Daryl’s heart stopped in his chest. He took out the few walkers that were feasting on the body, adding to the pile of corpses already laying in the dirt. He slowly approached the bloody form. His heartbeat in his throat so hard he thought he would choke on it. God, please don’t let it be her, don’t let it be Y/N.

Daryl forced himself to investigate the face of the body on the ground and thought he would cry in relief. It wasn’t you. No, it was one of the men from the stores. The one who’s leg he broke.

A violent grin pulled at the edges of his lips. One down, two to go. Daryl could take two people in a fight. The element of surprise would be on his side if he stayed undetected, a skill he’d perfected.

Standing back up, Daryl looked for a new set of tracks. There were no obvious trails, the walkers would have mucked them up, but there was an odd smear in the blood. Someone had disturbed the pool. Daryl lightly touched the liquid. It was still warm, he couldn’t be more than 5 or 10 minutes behind you now.

He scanned the immediate area and found a mark. It was a bloody handprint, deliberately pressed. Daryl’s fingers ghosted across the stain and a genuine smile crossed his face. My clever girl.

Y/N’s POV

Night fell and Robert stopped to set up a small fire. I left bloody marks on as many trees as possible. If Daryl is out there, he has a path almost all the way to me. If he’s even alive.

“Y/N. Can’t be over there by yourself, sweetheart. Come sit with me.” Robert looked up at me and he eyes shined with something I didn’t want to name. I hesitated. I didn’t want to leave my spot by the tree line. I felt relatively safe over here, where neither of the men could grab me.

“Girl don’t make me ask again. Over here. Now.” I knew I needed to move towards the fire, but my feet wouldn’t shift from their spot. I was pissing them both off, risking a beating or worse with no possible backup. If Daryl were here, he’d be furious.

But that’s it. Daryl isn’t here. It’s me and two violent, unstable men. I started to turn towards into the shadows, but Robert was by my side in a flash. His hand wound itself into my hair and pulled savagely.

I yelped as he dragged me towards the fire by my hair. My scalp was stinging, and no amount of fighting would get him to let up. I wasn’t in a position to force his release, my feet scrambling in the dirt as I fought to pull myself up. I was thrown fully down, and his hand was no longer in my hair.

The split second of relief was gone in a flash as he kicked me in the ribs. I let out a short scream before my breath was knocked from my chest as he kicked again once, twice, three times. They burned more than they should. Steel-toed boots.

“You fucking bitch, I told you to listen to me. Now I gotta punish you because you can’t be good.” Robert crouched by my side as I fought to catch my breath past the burning ache. The other man hovered by my opposite side, effectively blocking me in. Now I’d antagonized both men and lost my chance to get away.

My heart froze in my chest as I heard the clink of a belt buckle. No, no, no. I fought with renewed vigor, trying to shove myself past the men and into the safety of the trees. I only made it a few steps before a hand seized my ankle and I hit the ground. My ribs lit up with pain and I could barely see past the stars in my eyes as I was dragged backwards and flipped up to face Robert. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“I like it when you fight. What if I let you go, give you a two-minute head start? Chasing you through the woods would get me so hot.” He groped at me through my shirt and grabbed my chin, forcing me into a rough kiss. There was no way for me to reach Daryl’s knife in my boot, so I did the only thing I could. I bit into his lip and tore it off his face.

Blood rushed onto my face as he let out a hoarse scream and fell backwards. His eyes were wide and stunned.

“Thought you said you could tell I liked to bite.” I stood up and pulled my knife from its hiding spot. His friend grabbed me and punched me hard in the side of the face. I hit the ground and waited. He leaned over my body, looking at me like a bug to be squashed. Just a little closer, asshole.

“I’m going to hurt you, you little-” His threat was cut off with a wet gurgle as I plunged the blade into his throat. I managed to flip around and gain the upper hand, twisting and yanking the blade out. I was absolutely soaked in blood, barely able to see past it, and Robert was getting up.

Fuck. I hesitated for a split second, torn between running and turning around and gutting Robert. He grabbed the crossbow, which was already loaded from our last encounter. As he picked it up, I spun around and bolted for the trees. I make it into the woods, but not before I hear a low whistle, and something hits me in the left side.

I can’t afford to stop and check. I keep running into the woods back the way we came, praying that I can get far enough away before the adrenaline wears off and I start to feel the object stuck in my side. One of Daryl’s bolts. Branches were whipping across my arms and face, leaving stinging marks. My face and ribs throbbed. But I can’t stop.

My breathing ratcheted up and my heart fluttered like a butterfly. I wasn’t watching my feet and I tripped over a root, breaking my fall into someone’s chest.

Daryl’s POV

Although Daryl could track the steps made by the men, your map of blood ensured he was going the right way. He could feel himself getting closer and his body tensing up for the fight. They would have to kill him to keep you.

A high-pitched scream rang through the trees, quickly cut off. Y/N. Daryl would recognize your voice anywhere.

His heart begged him to pick up the pace and run to help you. You sounded terrified. He forced himself to not outright run, he didn’t want to risk you by charging into the area half-cocked and knowing nothing.

Not long after your scream, a second yell was heard. That was clearly a man, one in pain. Daryl abandoned his plan and began to speed towards the sounds. If both you and a man screamed, you could be getting attacked by walkers. Or another group. Or-

Stop it. Fuckin’ quit. He couldn’t play these scenarios out and stay aware of his surroundings. He had to focus on the present and getting you out of there.

A branch snapped a little to his right and Daryl froze. Something, no someone, was coming his way and it wasn’t trying to be quiet. Whoever it was, they were running for their life.

He slid his two knives from their holsters and brought his hands into a defensive position. There. He can see them now. They were short and feminine. Is that-

You had no idea he was right in front of you. He didn’t have time to call out before you stumbled fell right into his chest.

Daryl’s arm instinctively wrapped around you to break your fall. His chest ached by the force of your impact, but it didn’t matter. It was you.

You fought against his chest, screaming and hitting, trying to break free. A small grunt sounded from the body in front of you.

“Please! Please, let me go, let me-” Your voice cracked as it strained under the stress. Tears ran down your face as you struggled uselessly. Daryl wasn’t letting you go for anything, never again.

“Y/N? Y/N, baby, it’s me. It’s me.” Your struggles died down as your body put a name to the voice, your brain slower to catch up. Whiskey, gasoline, grease. Blood. Ocean-blue eyes.

“D-Daryl?” Your voice sounded so small; he could tell you were scared out of your mind and slow to process. Something terrified you.

He tightened his grip on you and swayed you back and forth. “Yeah Y/N. It’s me.”

A sob wracked through your body. It’s him. He’s okay, he’s alive. The tension drained out of you as you sank into his hold. Your knees gave out and he supported your fall, resting you both on the soft leaves coating the ground.

“He- he tried to-” You couldn’t get the sentence out, but you knew he understood. He always did.

He held you as you cried into his neck. Daryl pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head and breathed deeply, needing to ground himself. You smelled the same; cocoa, vanilla, alcohol and something all your own. Blood singed his nose and shocked him back into reality.

He pulled away from the grasp to get a look at your face. You whined and tried to burrow back into him, but he held you by the shoulders. He needed to make sure you weren’t hurt.

“’S okay, just checking ya ain’t hurt. ‘S okay.” It was not okay. Your face was soaked with blood, some of it yours and some of it from the others. There were cuts across your cheeks still weeping blood and a nasty bruise crawling up the right side of your face. Some of the blood was even in your hair. Your shirt was ripped at the collar, exposing (thankfully) bite-less skin, and you had an arm wrapped around your waist as if holding yourself together. His breath stopped at he looked at your torso.

“Y/N.” His voice was quiet and tense, his accent making a more obvious appearance. “The hell ya got a bolt in your side for?”

Oh. That. “He got me when I was gettin’ away, he has your bow. Asshole…” You cursed. Now that you were safe, you could really feel everything. Your eyes started to close. You were exhausted from fighting for your life and he felt like a horrible person for forcing you to stay awake.

“Y/N, darlin’. Need ya awake. Can’t sleep yet.” He lightly patted the non-bruised cheek, making your eyes flutter open. You didn’t look as if you were entirely there. If Daryl had to guess, it was a combination of exhaustion, blood loss, and dissociation.

His blood boiled as he thought about the men who did this to you. He was going to fucking kill them. But he had to patch you up first. He wouldn’t, couldn’t let you out of his sight, not even when he dealt with those men. He thought he would go insane if he couldn’t see or feel you by his side.

Looking down at you, he knew there wasn’t much he could do to help at the moment. He had to keep the arrow in your side until you were back at the prison with Hershel. He quickly stripped his vest and his flannel off. He reached for your waist, but you flinched, and he immediately quit moving. Daryl felt guilty but he took a deep breath. Those assholes tried to force you and you were traumatized. They were the problem, not him.

“’M gonna tie this ‘round your waist, keep tha bolt from movin’. Need ta keep it in so ya don’t bleed out, okay?” His voice was gentle as he waited for your response.

“Mhm. I know you won’ hurt me.” Your words were a bit slurred as you looked up at him. That wasn’t a good sign. You’d lost more blood than he first expected.

As gently as he possibly could, Daryl pulled the flannel around your waist and tight enough to act as a torniquet. You yelped in pain and he wanted to kick himself for hurting you more. No, he wanted to kick those dipshits-

“I got a few more questions, darlin’. Y/N, where are they?” His hands rubbed up and down your arms to keep you awake and to comfort you. Daryl wanted to know where their campsite was. He had a visit to make.

You pointed behind you. “It’s that way, not too far. Only one left’s Robert. Ooh I bet he’s mad.” A tired giggle left your lips. The situation was far from funny, but you couldn’t help it.

“Why’s he mad? Wha’ happened to the other one? Saw the first a’ready.” One hand left your arm and gently rested on your cheek.

You hummed and leaned into Daryl’s touch. “I bit his lip off. He was trying to-. Anyway, the other one’s dead. Got ‘em right here with your knife.” You tapped his jugular softly.

He didn’t know just how proud of you he could be until that moment. He had let you down in the store, but you managed to protect yourself from the worst of it. He didn’t want to think about what might’ve happened if you hadn’t fought back.

“That’s ma girl. I love ya so much.” You looked up and were rewarded with those pretty blue eyes looking back into yours with adoration. You wanted to stay here with him forever, but you knew the situation was time sensitive.

“Let’s go, the camp’s thatta way.” You tried to haul yourself up and almost hit the ground hard. Daryl quickly wrapped an arm around you and supported most of your weight, doing his best to not provoke the bolt still in your side.

The camp wasn’t far at all. Daryl was so close to you, and you had no idea. It would’ve have been a matter of minutes if you hadn’t made your move. But those minutes would have been filled with pain. You were happy he didn’t have to see you like that.

Daryl’s eyes flicked over the dead man’s body and latched onto the sight of Robert with his back to you both. Daryl set you down gently and lifted a finger to his lips in a silent request. You nodded and he crept towards the man at the edge of camp.

Once behind Robert, he purposefully made a noise. Robert spun around and Daryl was lightning fast, nailing him in the face. Robert hit the ground and Daryl was quick to follow. He threw punch after punch, soaking his hands in blood. His ribs burned like hell, but his rage burned brighter.

He pulled back and allowed a moment of reprieve for the time it took to grab one of his knives. Daryl buried the hilt into the man’s shoulder, effectively pinning him. Robert shrieked in pain.

You hated to see the effect this entire day had on Daryl, but you couldn’t help but delight in the attacker’s pain. You wanted to see him bloody and dying. That’s the least he could expect for the damage he caused.

“Promised myself I’d do this when ya’ first laid a hand on her.” Daryl gripped the man’s hand and brutally chopped a finger off. The screams were both nauseating and rewarding. He went on to the next, then the next. Soon the man was left with 6 fingers.

“Shoulda never touched her. Warned ya’, didn’t I?” He grinned animalistically. You’d never seen Daryl so furious, so dangerous. It sparked the smallest amount of fear before you chided yourself. He would never hurt you. These men were asking for it.

“Please, God, please- “Robert begged. He would bleed out soon, but not soon enough to spare himself more pain.

Daryl shook his head. “What’re you and God gonna do?” He mocked. “Nah, ain’t no God out here. Just me and you.”

Something dark curled up in your chest. The lengths this man was willing to go for you…

When Daryl was done, he slit Robert’s throat and watched as he bled out in the dirt. His eyes eventually went dull, and Daryl extracted his blade from his shoulder and wiped them both harshly on the man’s body. He wouldn’t even spare the man from the transformation. No, he could walk the Earth and feast on people. Daryl hoped that there was a part of him alive in there, despite what Jenner said all those months ago.

You watched as Daryl approached and knelt beside you. His hand was pressed to his ribs, which were likely broken. He’d almost forgotten the beating he took. He looked over your body and locked eyes with you.

“Hi, darlin. Are ya ready to go home?”

"That's a very stupid idea." Single Dad Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x F! Reader

Summary: On the eve on Jake's first deployment since becoming a father, you and Jake try to act like nothing is different. But can you let him go without telling him the truth? That you've not just fallen in love with Tyler Seresin but also his dad.

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x F! Reader

Warnings: 18 + only, Explicit smut, language, single dad Jake and live in nanny reader, age-gap.

Cross Posted on AO3

You’d grown to love Tyler Seresin like he was your own son. Standing in the doorway to the toddler's room, watching his father kneel on the floor beside him, brushing the sweet blonde curls off his forehead was almost too much. 

His father Jake being in the Navy, needed someone desperately when he gained full custody of a son he never knew existed after his mother passed in a tragic accident. His ad on Facebook caught your eye, and the idea of room and board included was an added bonus, but it became more than a job a long time ago. 

“I love you, buddy,” you hear Jake whisper, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead. This was the first deployment since you waltzed into their lives thirteen months ago, and your heart aches at the thought of not seeing him every day. He stands, taking another moment to stare at his son before turning back and pausing seeing you in the doorway.

“He’s really gonna miss you,” you whisper, putting a clenched fist to your chest, “we both are.” 

His eyes soften as he turns one last time to look at the little boy, before nodding out into the hallway and closing the door shut behind him. “Meet me on the couch?” he asks, staring at you with an unknown expression. 

“Yeah,” you tremble, “we got to watch the next episode of Only Murders in the Building.” 

Jake smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes when he nods, “it’s probably gonna be awhile till we get the chance again. I’ll go get the snacks and meet you there. Maybe we can finish the season tonight, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.” 

“Whatever you want to do,” you nod, “I’m not going anywhere.” You take off down the hall, feeling him close behind you as you walk down the stairs and turn off to the living room. He goes to the kitchen grabbing the snacks and you pull out the big blanket and grab the remote, lighting a few candles before flicking off the lights. 

Jake comes back a few minutes later, hands full with two beers, a bowl of popcorn, and several bags of candy. You smile, thinking of the candy you’ve been hoarding in your closet to mail him in his care packages. “Blanket please,” he grins and you lift the blanket, the couch bouncing when he settles down beside you, pulling it back over you both and taking the bowl from his hands. 

“Now I don’t know about you but I have some theories about our killer,” he takes a handful of popcorn and puts it in his mouth. 

“You always have theories,” you tease, settling yourself against him, his arm coming around your shoulders to pull you in tight, “and they’re always wrong.” 

He gasps, “No they are not!” You giggle, leaning back against his arm and staring up at him, the smile on his face wavering as you both realize how close you are. His voice softens, as he lifts one knuckle to run along your cheek, “I’m really gonna miss you.” 

You take a shaky breath, “I’m really going to miss you too. I’ve had this idea, a recurring thought in my head, that you’re going to find someone else. Come home and not need me anymore.” 

“That’s a very stupid idea,” he leans closer, his nose brushing against yours. “I am always going to need you. I’m always gonna want you.” 

“Jake,” you whisper, your lips brushing his he’s so close, “we shouldn’t. You’re leaving tomorrow.” 

“I know Darlin’,” his accent’s thick, “but if I go away for six months and not at least kiss you, that would be the biggest mistake of my life. Because baby, it would be agony to be alone with nothing but my hand and just the image of you in my head, without having had to taste those lips I dream about, every, fucking, night.” 

“You dream about me?” you sit up pushing off the blanket to the floor and straddling his lap. His cock is hard and straining against his sweatpants and you let out a whimper when it catches your clit as you settle down, arms wrapped around his neck. 

“Baby,” he warns, letting out a moan when you grab his hands and place them on your ass, giving him the permission he needs. He surges forward, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. It’s like coming home, he pulls you closer, needing to feel every inch of you pressed against him. His tongue comes out to lick your bottom lip, tangling with your own on a groan. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, when he lifts his hips, driving his hard cock against you, your panties drenched and soaking through his sweats. “Jake,” you pull his hair, and he pulls back, his eyes hazy as they watch you pull off the black lace nightgown, dropping it to the floor. If he wasn’t religious before he is now as he worships your breasts, biting and kissing every inch before taking a perky nipple and sucking it into his mouth. 

“Oh, god,” you lean back, his hands squeezing your ass as he lowers you off him and down onto the couch. His mouth works down your body and you bite your lip, eyes rolling back when he mouths at your soaked panties. 

“Can I take these off, baby?” he asks, and you open your eyes and nod, “I’m gonna need verbal confirmation darlin’.” 

“Yes,” your quick to answer, “Jake, please, please, please,” he groans, quickly pulling off your panties and pulling your legs over his shoulder before diving into your soaked cunt. “Oh,” you groan, “fuck, Jake.” He swirls his tongue back and forth over your clit, your pussy soaked, he pulls back and spits on your pussy before diving back in. He must have been blessed with some pussy eating powers because the way he moves his mouth, up and down, fast and then slow have you shaking before the most powerful orgasm of your life takes over. He holds your legs tight, watching as they tremble and you lean back into the couch, your chest high in the air as you whimper out his name. 

“That’s it, baby,” he coos, kissing up your chest before finding your lips, “that’s my girl.” He tastes like you, tangy and sweet his chin glistening as he smiles down at you, “Ready for another one?” 

You huff out a laugh, still struggling to catch your breath, “I think I need a minute.” 

“We got all night,” he whispers, stealing another kiss, “I’ll happily go down on you till the sun comes up, baby. That was a fucking sight.” 

“What about you?” you run your fingers through his hair, his eyes closing as he leans further into your touch. “Aren’t you gonna let me have a taste?” 

His eyes slowly open, a vulnerability you’re surprised to see after he just put his mouth on your most sensitive areas. “I don’t have any expectations, I’ll take any piece of you, you’ll give me.” 

“You’re not the only one who dreams, Lieutenant,” his jaw clenches when you use his title and you worry you’ve crossed a line, quickly going to apologize when he cuts you off. 

“Say that again,” his voice has gone deep, and you realize it’s his commanding voice. 

“I’d like to serve you, Lieutenant.” 

He swallows hard, before getting up and standing beside the couch, your naked and he takes a moment to gaze over you before pulling down his sweats and boxers. Your breath catches in your throat and you lick your lips when he pumps his cock, eyes caressing as he watches the rise and fall of your chest, your thighs clenching together. “On your knees,” his voice is strong and confident and you stand quickly dropping to your knees before him. 

“Show me your tongue,” his hand on your jaw is firm but not uncomfortable and you open your mouth presenting your tongue. “That’s a good girl,” he slaps his cock against your tongue, “now serve your Lieutenant.” He takes his hand off your jaw, placing it on your head as he guides his cock into your waiting mouth. He groans when you wrap your lips around him, sucking him deep, “Oh fuck, shit, baby.” 

Swirling your tongue around the tip, he looks down, holding your eyes as you suck him deeper and deeper, the tears seeping out of the corner of your eyes and the sounds are vulgar. Spit dripping down his balls and onto your tits, your pussy throbbing with the control, the power he commands as he drives you back and forth on his cock. “Shit, I’m close,” he moans, “stop,” he gasps, pulling you off, “stop, stop.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” you frown, glancing up at him as he brushes the tear off your cheek. 

“No,” he drops to his knees before you, “no, you did nothing wrong, you hear me?” 

You pout, “then why’d you not let me finish?” 

His face turns serious before he stands holding out a hand and pulling you off the floor and into his arms. “I wanted to let you finish,” he comforts, “believe me, baby. But I want to do something else more if you’ll have me.” 

“Oh Jake,” you run your fingers through his hair, “you’ve had me from the moment we met. There’s never been anyone else, and I don’t think they’ll ever be anyone else.” 

Jake leans down, picking you up bridal style and taking off for the bedroom. He pushes the door open and lays you down gently with a soft kiss before turning back to the door and closing it, sliding the lock into place. He goes to the nightstand, turning on the soft light before reaching for a box of condoms and setting them on top of the dresser. 

He grabs one, and you sit up taking it from his hands and ripping it open. His eyes watch as you slide it onto his cock, before you lay back against the plush pillows. Jake settles between your legs, his hands on either side of your waist as he kisses you so slowly and achingly tender it makes you want to cry. The first press of him inside has you tenseing before he reaches down between you, rubbing your clit slowly as he works in inch by inch. He fills you so completely like he was meant to be here, his cock pressing deep enough inside you, you can feel him hit your cervix. 

“Fuck,” he moans, pressing his forehead to your own, “your pussy is perfect, baby, so tight and warm wrapped around me. I never want to leave.” 

“I don’t want you to leave either,” you whisper, a tear sliding down your cheek, “god, Jake, you were made for me. I-” you hesitate only a second, “I love you.” 

Jake leans back, his eyes wide as he licks his lips, a single tear running down his cheek as he slowly starts to move inside you. You’ve read before about people making love for the first time but never experienced it. But the way Jake moves, his body so in sync with your own, this isn’t fucking, this is making love. 

The pressure builds and you move your hips meeting him with each thrust, his hand moving back between you as he rubs your clit. “That’s it, baby,” he praises, “cum with me, almost there,” his hips move fast and there is a power that knocks the air from your lungs with each thrust before you're crying out as he fills you. He never stops, still thrusting steadily inside you, letting you ride out your orgasm before pulling out. 

You catch your breath feeling vulnerable when he quickly leaves the bed and flicks on the bathroom light. Only for him to return a moment later, the condom disposed of, and a warm washcloth running over your spent pussy. He tosses the cloth into the laundry bin, turns off the light, and folds into bed behind you, pulling you against his chest, his chin slotted on your shoulder. 

Jake presses his lips to your cheek and whispers, “I love you,” into your ear. You turn, glancing up at him with wide eyes and he smiles running his fingertip over your face as he traces every line. “Did you think I didn’t?” you stay silent, watching him and trying to take a mental picture. “I’ve been in love with you since the day I came home to Tyler sitting on the counter in his chair laughing as you danced to Foot Loose.” 

“That was eleven months ago,” you do the math, “why didn’t you say something?” 

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if you didn’t feel the same way. I’m older than you by ten years baby, and I’m a single parent. I didn’t want you to feel stuck. You still have so much to do in your life, I didn’t want you to have to wait around for me.” 

“I choose you, Jake,” you press a hand to his cheek, his eyes becoming glassy. “I love you, Jacob Andrew Seresin. I love Tyler like he’s my own son, and there is nothing on this earth that is going to take me away from you. Tomorrow you have to leave for six months and fuck I’m going to miss you every single day but I will be here when you get back. Because that is what you do when you love a man in uniform, Jake.” 

“I love you,” he whispers, your full name coming out like honey on his tongue. “I’m gonna fight like hell to come home to you. To both of you. I’ll call home as much as I can and write when I can’t.” He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you back into his chest, his cock hard against your ass, and you wiggle causing him to groan in your ear. 

“So soon, Lieutenant?” you tease, his hand on your waist dipping lower between your thighs and his teeth leaving hickeys on your neck, soothing with his tongue. 

“Oh baby,” he whispers, and you can hear the smile in his voice, “we got all night.” 

happy may!! you know what that means…

kit9 progress report #5

this time, we get these two images:

brand new andrew sprite!! clearly something is wrong. it isn’t out of the question to assume that this andrew is probably possessed. i don’t think andrew would be making that face while talking to himself about camping of all things. he’s on his own, somewhere, with a perfectly good demon-summoning setup right there! i wonder where ashley is?

and, speaking of ashley, we have the… kind of intense second picture. yeah, i know, cannibalism and incest game and i find her crying to be intense. but, we’ve never seen ashley cry before. we’ve seen her shout whine and pout, and we’ve seen her hysterical, but we’ve never seen her full-on sobbing. she looks so defeated :( her makeup is messy, her eyes are flat, and she just generally doesn’t look like she’s having a nice time. i’ve seen people assume that she’s thinking about andrew here, and i agree! who else could make ashley feel so bad??

(poor girl…)

next, we have a new video!!

here are some screenshots:

lots to dissect here!!

i think this place is the same abandoned place we saw in the previous devlog! which is, of course, the abandoned factory that we know they played at as kids. we don’t see much of the building from the flashbacks with nina in episodes one and two, but the implication is there.

second, andrew accidentally summoned a demon!! as an adult, he’s proud of ashely for doing the same thing. well, hers was on purpose, even if she got there accidentally. anyway, i wonder what kind of “deal” actually happened, because i don’t think this demon hated vegetables like carrots and broccoli. this post proposes that the term “vegetables” has something to do with cannibalism…

…i hope it’s not as ableist as it sounds, but… maybe…?

andy wakes up some time later, laying in the circle when he wasn’t before, and is covered in red flowers. we see these same red flowers in ashley’s demon-dreams. the summoning circle is different than the ones we’ve seen so far, but we learned with andrew and ashley’s parents that the layout of the circle and pentagrams don’t exactly matter when summoning demons. it can be an oval, there could be any number of smaller pentagrams, it’s whatever. that may be because of the trinket ashley has, but lord unknown was able to be summoned instead of ashley’s demon, so who knows!

andy questions how he passed out, and says that he “thought [he] ate enough at lunch.” we already know the graves’ parents aren’t the best, and we know that they severely neglected ashley. we also know that mr. graves neglected andrew, and couldn’t even remember his name. it wouldn’t surprise me if andy and leyley went without food sometimes, or even frequently, or more often than not. and, it wouldn’t surprise me if andrew prioritized ashley eating over himself eating, too. it’s something that i’ll keep in mind going in to episode three!!

we see leyley scream in the video, and the player as andy rushes to her. the youtube video cuts off before andy leaves this room, but it makes me wonder: what would make leyley scream? she isn’t yelling, either at someone or something, and we’ve seen that she’s pretty unimpressed with stuff that’d usually make kids upset (abandoned buildings, dead bodies, murder, horror movies, and more). so, what happened? did she see something? hear something? who or what would make leyley scream?

hmm…

also, a workaround has been found for the technical issues mentioned last devlog, which i’m happy about! they’re now focusing on enhancing the editor tools to hopefully get back on track to “make up for lost time,” as they said. i’m still super excited for episode three!!!

💜💙❤️finally designing some jashlings for myself…after a full year of knowing chonny… 👀💦

TW // GOREY CONCEPTS, BLOOD, NOOSE/RED ROPE IMAGRY, DESCRIPTIONS OF AGONY (yummy)

i have pages of designs for the three that i doodled in my school sketchbook, and honestly i can’t pick one so i’m using ✨all of them✨. switching em out yknow?? maybe i accidentally created a bunch of aus instead of characters(??) because they all have loops that happen in different ways, or maybe they *are* the same but in different loops—the chonny paradox. anyways uhm some fellas to mention: nerd mind, merve (<3), deltarune soul, roe, toy-style soul, tadc mind (half an accident), a rabid heart, simon mind, an extremley nonbinary soul…heart with heart-eye glasses but then disruptivevoid reblogged someone’s cute render of the same idea— (honestly, lmao)

the gangs all here !!

but anyways I want to show off one design of soul in particular that has become an extremely fast favorite between me and my fellow rain-jash friend Sluggx!! it’s kinda gorey so i don’t know how to censor it :[, but the image is small so scroll past if the warnings above irk you. but uh. say hi to Dyadracide—a word i coined that means “to kill the duo”

me and my friend sluggx are going FERAL for him,,

ft roe and corona 🔱👑☀️

had the idea of designing a buttload of minds a bit ago, then recently this week i decided the same for soul. doodled him at school, then showed him to my friend via whiteboardfox :]. i draw Dyadra semi different now than there, but all his design is the same. rope neck that coils up inside his body when not in use, oversized pointy teeth (went monochromatik style with human teeth originally but nah), frizzly uhkempt hair, and a trident through his head. he’s always bleeding from the roof of his mouth, whether the trident is retracted into his skull or not. i love him so much😭💛. he has a full body and even a cute little gut but that’s kept for later for now. consider this a teaser of my inner workings :monk_devious:

ive been drawing him *SOOo* muchhh aaugha…can’t wait to show you when i can :]. building a batch of art for a tumblr post that i’ll dump later today maybe. get ready for some fun and gore galore~ (its not too gorey, just the trident-through-head-hes-always-choking-on-his-own-blood concept in full force. yummy ideas have to be explored huhu)

and off i go to have a late brunch. i always write these when i have something else to do lmao. *bites into omelette*

*~NOST’S BIG FAT COMMISSION POST~*

I’m always taking commissions, so throw some money at me maybe!

Want some more examples of my art? Here's my art tag!

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Want some art for yourself or want to throw me some extra scratch? Consider a commission!

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I can work with just about whatever you’d care to have (this includes anthro art and porn). The more references you give, the better. A little caveat on the porn, though: I’m not that well-versed in it. I will do my damndest, though.

I WILL NOT draw any material I find objectionable.

Important Note About Timing:

While I will try to complete your piece as soon as possible, I also work a full-time night shift job and only have so many hours in the day to work. Keep this in mind, especially if you are looking to have a piece by a specific date. I will provide WIP images upon request.

Payment Details: You can send me a message anywhere I post art: here on tumblr, over on twitter, through Discord, anywhere.

Once you’ve sent me the details of the image you want, I’ll put together an estimate for you. If the price is acceptable, I’ll send you the address of my PayPal [Alternatively, you can pay through Ko-Fi]. You can pay half-now-half-later or lump sum, whichever you’d prefer. Important note: Work WILL NOT begin until at least half of the price has been paid. I’ll send you a preview of the final image when it’s finished, and if it’s acceptable, just send the last half of payment and the larger, high-quality version is yours!

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If you’d like a poster or print of your image, the price of printing and shipping will be added to the cost.

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Thank you very much!

Byler Theory - Two Halves, One Heart

Before I begin my analysis, this theory builds on the concepts analysed by @CauseINeedYou on TikTok. So credit for them for that.

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As mentioned above, CauseINeedYou discussed how the tracks of “Being Different” and “You’re The Heart” actually merge together perfectly. In addition to this, there are whale song effects used in both songs which, once put together, sound like they are calling to each other. How beautiful is that? The music production behind the current season was phenomenal. 

The tracks therefore could potentially imply that both of these tracks represent two separate halves which, once put together, make a whole. Metaphorically, therefore, this could represent both Mike and Will together. Therefore, Will was half right, Mike is part of the heart. What Will does not realise is that he is also part of the heart. To Mike, Will is actually the heart, whilst Will believes Mike is. Both are clueless to each other, and by no fault of their own. 

As you can see above, within the GIF image, Will reveals to Mike the painting that he made for him. In this scene he points to the heart with a crown, saying how he has a coat of arms, alongside a heart. Will says how Mike is the heart and that he essentially inspires people. Later in this scene, Will masks his own feelings by using El, so that Mike is unaware of Will’s true feelings for him. Essentially implying how Mike makes him feel like he’s not a mistake at all, again implying that Will thinks that he is a mistake, which is painful. But, however, when he’s with Mike he feels whole. That’s because the heart is complete. Will and Mike complete the heart, they are both two halves of a whole. They complete the equation. 

The way that I believe that they will tie this together in season 5 is not only beautiful, it will also be a masterpiece. The Duffers have stated in several recent interviews how the “coming of age story” of Will is “far from over” and that there is still “a lot more” to tell. This includes Will’s self acceptance and realisation that he is indeed not a mistake at all, he is quite the opposite. They hint, however, at more than just Will’s journey as if it'll intertwine with others. Noah commented recently that Mike has also been going through problems, which I believe intertwine with Will’s arc. Why else would they specifically focus on Mike as Will’s love since season 1? They could have handled Will’s coming out arc without including Mike. However, they chose to include him as the one he truly loves. This is no coincidence. 

Season 5 I believe, therefore, will focus on handling Will accepting himself and coming out to those he loves. Additionally, we will get to see more scenes from Mikes perspective and the troubles that he has been dealing with this whole time. I do truly believe that Mike loves El, or loved El, but simply platonically. I’ll get to that in another post, but for now let’s focus on Mike and Will. 

Now that I have produced many theories, notably Will Byers Powers and The Neverending Story, both merge into this theory. As mentioned in my previous theory, which you can see back in my posts, I explained how Will has powers which he is currently either unaware of or are dormant. Potentially, in order for Will to discover these powers, he needs to find them from within himself. This is how I believe they could tie both his coming of age arc and supernatural arc together. To realise his powers he needs to overcome his internal demons, quite literally. Will finally accepting himself and finding his internal strength could, potentially, allow him to realise his full potential. Mike could also factor into this equation. As they are both the heart combined, perhaps they need to form together in order to end this Neverending Story. Maybe the heart really is a significant detail, just as Will’s painting depicts. 

Before you say that this sounds too cheesy, I’d like to point out how the whole story of Stranger Things is literally based on friendship and love. Winona Rider herself even said this at the Season 4 premier. This story is about fighting for and with the ones you love, the power of love and friendship. The supernatural element is the main focus but love is intertwined into every fabric of the story. Without love and friendship, El would not have been able to defeat Vecna twice, albeit Vecna technically wasn't properly defeated both times. But this I believe is because El needs both Mike and Will to complete the equation. Mike to realise his own feelings and talk to Will, and Will to accept himself. Will essentially finding power and inspiration from Mike, just like he said in the van. 

In terms of Will and his powers, he is paralleled to Henry Creel multiple times in the story. Both are called sensitive kids, both think that they are different and both believe that they essentially are a mistake. 

There is a stark contrast, though, between both Henry and Will. Henry takes his anger out on people and chooses to be, essentially, evil. Will, on the other hand, decides to be good and to be self-sacrificial. So, despite Vecna likely trying to use Will for his bidding and using him, Will will fight back. There is simply too much good within Will for him to be converted to evil. 

Going back to Will and his connection to the Upside Down, time froze the day that he went missing. The Duffer Brothers have essentially implied that this is a focal point of the whole lore of Stranger Things and that Will is going to be a main focus. Thus, it is likely that he was targeted for a reason. Either he was targeted because he saw himself in Will and thought he could convert him, or he knew he had some sort of dormant natural power like him and therefore could use them. There is a reason that he was left alive and not killed, alongside the supposed demorgorgon being able to move the latch. Way too many coincidences there. Vecna needs Will to take over and defeat El. One way in which he could consume them from Will, potentially. 

Vecna will not, however, be able to use Will. As I said, there is too much good in him. He now also has a strong platonic bond with El, as his sister. To defeat Vecna and to put an end to the Upside Down, Will needs to realise his powers and to accept his true self. Mike, therefore, also holds the key in being able to unlock this power that Will has. Two halves forming together to complete the heart, fulfilling the equation. Once this happens, Will can help El to defeat Vecna for good. He will not be able to withstand the power of both El and Will together.

Remember that in the Hellfire Club Campaign a roll of 11 was simply not enough to defeat Vecna. This season Vecna was only temporarily defeated, Will confirmed he was still alive in the cabin scene. A roll of 20 was, however, enough to defeat Vecna. As I've analysed in my previous theory, both Will and Mike both had size 10 roller skates at the roller rink, potentially foreshadowing? There are a lot of hidden details in Stranger Things, this could be one of them. Implying that Mike can help Will, which in turn will help El. Overall, therefore, completing the equation and defeating Vecna. It is likely, therefore, that we will see a Will and El power duo in season 5, once Will has discovered his potential powers. 

Finally, to conclude, to end the story Mike and Will need to form together in order to complete the heart. Two halves equals a whole. Mike giving Will the love and inspiration to accept that he’s not a mistake will allow him to discover not only his true self, but also his powers and potential. Will can then team up with El to defeat Vecna once and for all. El is very powerful which we have seen this season, so imagine the damage both El and Will could do. In the end, the power of love and friendship will prevail, which is a key underlying theme in the show. The heart really is the key.

i think nonnie who asked about profile captions is referring to the ‘moods’ that appear in their phone profiles (they’re shown under their names while texting and if you click on their profiles, you can read them in full + view when they changed them). i had a quick look through the timestamps and i think they’re tied to achievements rather than love timelines. the ones i’m kinda sure of are these:

workouts:

‘weekend workout star’ where you work out with each of them 7 times on weekends. this one causes all of them to change their moods

‘procrastination crusher’ where you spend quality time with zayne for 3 weeks. his is the only one that triggers a mood change though

claw machine:

‘guiding light’ with xavier

‘high efficiency’ with zayne

kitty cards:

not 100% sure of these because i got multiple achievements on the same day but these are the ones that seem likely to trigger mood changes. ‘advanced: demoew-lition’ and ‘advanced: fall short’ trigger a mood change for the LI you got the achievement with. for me, one was with rafayel and the other with xavier but i’m not sure which was which

there a couple more that i can’t trace back to the source. maybe i’ll go back and have a look through them again on another day. sorry for rambling in your inbox though 😭🩷

Oh! If that's the case then I've noticed these before, but they totally slipped my mind. It's been a while since I've seen any updates there so I kinda forgot they existed lol... Thanks love for being able to point it out!! I truly appreciate it. Please feel free to stop by and ramble in my inbox again at any time~ 🫶

To the original anon, unfortunately I personally don't know of any guides about this. However second nonnie was super duper informative with what could be the potential triggers to unlock them! Hopefully that'll help with your inquiry.

For what it's worth I also think they are tied to your achievements, but I will have to check at a later time. I currently have 147 achievements unlocked and below are all the "History Moods" I have obtained since playing the game if you want a reference.

First image is Xavier's History Mood. Second image is Zayne's History Mood. Third image is Rafayel's history Mood.

ps: if anyone has other history mood posts that I currently don't have above, please share them with me. i'd love to see them!!

can we see Lilith and Lucifer’s full designs

Absolutely 🖤

These designs aren’t solidified yet, but I do have some little doodles. I’d like to actually incorporate a few of the Lords of Hell into Praeteritum later down the line 👀

More after the cut!

My working idea for Lucifer right now is staying very true to the “fallen Angel” image of him. His clothes are inspired by those really ornament Cardinal Bishop cassocks and capes. Since he used to be a Seraphim I wanted him to look like a high clergyman, which is sort of what he would have been in heaven. But I was scream singing From the Pinnacle to the Pit in the car earlier, as one does, and thought of Lucifer with blood eternally running down his face (and maybe his eyes idk yet) like a never healing head wound. Puts a meaning to “you will wear your independence like a crown” when you think about the blood like a “crown” from gaining his independence- by his skull hitting the ground when he finally reached the pit. Lucifer is shockingly always “around” the church, liking to move undetected among the siblings of sin and observe his little followers. So looking like any other clergyman at a glance is helpful, if he masks the wings of course.

My working idea for Lucifer right now is staying very true to the “fallen Angel” image of him. His clothes are inspired by those really ornament Cardinal Bishop cassocks and capes. Since he used to be a Seraphim I wanted him to look like a high clergyman, which is sort of what he would have been in heaven. But I was scream singing From the Pinnacle to the Pit in the car earlier, as one does, and thought of Lucifer with blood eternally running down his face (and maybe his eyes idk yet) like a never healing head wound. Puts a meaning to “you will wear your independence like a crown” when you think about the blood like a “crown” from gaining his independence- by his skull hitting the ground when he finally reached the pit. Lucifer is shockingly always “around” the church, liking to move undetected among the siblings of sin and observe his little followers. So looking like any other clergyman at a glance is helpful, if he masks the wings of course.

Lilith’s design is basically an abridged Virgin Mary. Lucifer likes to affectionately refer to her as The Unholy Mother, and she actually fits that pretty well. Lilith is a very celebrated and worshiped demon within the church. Her presence is very soothing and affectionate towards her siblings of sin, so long as they don’t anger her. She is actually just as involved in guiding the Papas as Lucifer and Satanas.

In my previous post you guys seemed to really like these two doing baby dedications together, and I thought that adorable. Once both parents within the church are ready, they will go through the ceremony of “dedicating” their child to Lucifer and Lilith as a ritualistic blessing, usually led by one of the Papas. Lilith is very protective of children, while Lucifer has more a Uh- “you better learn how to swim you little shit, but I’ll still catch you if you start actually sinking” approach with kiddos. Primo has experienced that with Lucifer pretty much his entire life lol.

Onto the first volume proper: volume 0, of course!!

First of all, Aso sensei’s note is so cute. I love how he says he’s been expressionless the entire time, but he really is happy. Relatable.

Aaaaaand the cover image of Saiki sure is interesting. what’s with the pipe?? I seem to remember it being a reference to another work of his somehow.

Also, volume zero announcement Saiki is very cute. His expression reminds me of a cat.

Even from the first oneshot to volume zero, you can see how much Aso sensei’s artistic abilities have improved.

That said, baby Saiki still looks very strange… I can’t overemphasize how much he improved as an artist over the course of Saiki k in drawing human characters looking natural, in pose and their clothing, expressions, etc.

I like that volume 0 Saiki’s father actually kind of looks like him. Ah… well maybe it would all be a little too real if Saiki’s family resembled him a little more. It would certainly be less whimsical. Imagine Kuniharu having black hair. Imagine Kuusuke *not* being a blonde. That would be more uncomfortable somehow. I’m glad Asou sensei made up the thing about anime hair being a result of Saiki’s powers.

More examples of why Kusuo thinks people are terribly insincere… using the most extreme of unsavory unstated thoughts.

And here we get a slightly more liberal estimate of how much time it would take for a normal person to go insane… three days instead of three hours. I think Asou sensei likes the number three, since later on he mentions that it would take Saiki three days to destroy the world if he really wanted to.

Here we have the first frontal closeup of the Saiki Scowl, after he explains the hassle of telepathy. Really, I think it’s the most taxing power on him, mentally, for obvious reasons. It really is cool that Asou sensei was able to make a “surly” character like Saiki into such an interesting protagonist. (Mostly because he’s well written.) He’s definitely not a typical manga protagonist, but he functions very nicely in his (comedic) straight man role.

Also can I just say this is one of my favorite panels of Saiki in the entire manga, and it’s not even part of the series proper… Yes, why did he, Saiki? I also want to know… I can see why this was left out of volume one. It’s not funny exactly (maybe in a kind of dark way) but god. Baby Saiki saying this tugs at my heart strings.

Head always full of thoughts of the intelligence agency organization that kidnapped him at age four… that he erased, along with the unnamed nation…

good grief.

Kuusuke would have been six at this time; maybe old enough to help with the coverup so something like that didn’t become world news. Or maybe young Saiki just decided to use mind control, since he didn’t have any compunctions about that at the time.

I dislike a Nendou with readable thoughts, or a Nendou called a “violent, foul mouthed delinquent” instead of an idiot.

That said, I really like this Saiki side eye… it’s a thoroughly Saiki expression.

LOL. Nendou would be me in the situation though. If so many people accuse you of something that you didn’t do, it’s hard not to doubt yourself a little, right?

Yeah, we get a pretty good picture of Saiki’s pretty rational moral compass. Someone like Nendou definitely deserves it, but even so, he shouldn’t be punished for a crime he didn’t commit in Saiki’s eyes. Especially when the heinous perpetrator is right there all along.

Also, Takahashi’s (saiki-caused hallucination) angel counterpart looks just like him, but female. Interesting.

That Saiki can manipulate someone like this by altering their moral compass sure is something. Makes me think of this post.

Lastly and certainly not least, Saiki isn’t escaping the gay allegations even in volume zero… lol. That’s a priceless facial expression. “This power is useless except for getting idiots to like you” smh, so unappreciative of the new friend, Saiki. XD

That will do it for vol. 0-1!

I’ll be back tomorrow for 0-2.

Midst Season 3 Eps 14 & 15 Time Comparisons

Cuz I just really needed to see certain lines and events as Saskia's doubling really gets a work out here, as the narrators also play with their foreshadowing and narrative doubling, and I am desperate to know how it's going to resolve (I had to pace for awhile after finishing "Breach"). For everyone else, but especially Saskia, all things considered. I may know by the time this posts the morning ep 15 goes public, but I wouldn't be surprised if that question is left hanging for a few more weeks.

I'll put the transcriptions of the images' content under the cuts (since I cannot put the words into the columns), but they are 2 side by side document images, with timestamps taken from the videos on the main site, of episodes "Shindig" and "Breach", including their taglines and run times. Certain lines in each transcript are bolded.

Shindig Transcript “Life is a cabaret, old chum.” Episode length: 26:55

33 secs through 1:08: Narrator 3: That’s not to say that Saskia’s own inner torment and agony have dwindled. Indeed, if anything, she is at maximum rebellion, and is real, real hoppin’ mad, and sad, and betrayed. Narrator 2: But she’s putting on a brave face, with her Midst face, and true to her word has said nothing to anyone about her new moon knowledge. Nobody needs to know that here tonight. Her other self… we don’t need to worry about her just yet. But putting on nice parties for her community has always made her feel better.

1:48 through 1:59: Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Let’s get this party started! Wait, oops…” Narrator 1: She looks around for a second, wondering which one of her bodies that was. Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Did I say that here or there? Shit. Well, works either way. Anyway…”

3:00: Narrator 3: We’re all back at the Black Candle Cabaret you guys! It’s so wholesome. It’s basically late afternoon and unlight streams in through the open door and windows.

3:30: Narrator 1: Everyone is back together again. Well, almost everyone.

4:17: (Narrator 1) And many, many others. All here, all alive, and together. Narrator 2: Goddamn, this town’s been through a lot.

(Emmet’s toasts, “Fuck Moc Weepe”, dancing begins)

12:43 through 12:51: Narrator 2: Within moments, the floor of the cabaret is absolutely on fire. Narrator 3: With dancing, not with fire. That would be bad. Narrator 2: That WOULD be bad.

14:33 through 15:00: Narrator 3: (Sherman) “I wish both of, uh, you, were home, too.” Narrator 1: Tzila glances skyward at this comment. (Tzila) “Yeah, what are you doing up there right now, Saskia? Are you with Lark and Phineas? What’s going on?” Narrator 2: (Saskia) “It’s, uh, well, if you don’t mind, I’d just rather focus on what’s here right now. Let’s pretend I’m not anywhere else, just for tonight. If anything important happens, I’ll fill you in later.”

16:47: Narrator 3: Saskia has that way of looking at everything all at once. Narrator 2: Even moreso now.

17:38: Narrator 2: Saskia smiles at (Sherman). He sees her affection for it all, but he also sees a great deal of pain underneath all that.

18:53: Narrator 3: (Sherman) “Maybe we can all stay.” Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Maybe we can.”

19:57 through 24:17: Town rounds through That Damn Moon Mining Song. 20:19 is Saskia’s verse, following Goe’s opening. She passes it to Ettie.

24:18 through 24:42: Narrator 3: As the town works their way through their verses, Saskia takes a moment to slip off on her own. [The singing and party sounds recede into the background as the scene transitions outdoors. Cricket ambiance.] Narrator 2: The party’s in full swing now. Her work is done. Narrator 3: She’s an excellent host. Narrator 2: She gratefully takes a seat on the stoop out front of the cabaret, takes her heels off. Emotions are very high. Narrator 3: This has been a beautiful, difficult night.

24:48: Narrator 2: Stationary Hill glimmers in the desert night before her. A warm, fold-safe glow emanates from the cabaret behind.

25:09: Narrator 1: Sherman examines Saskia. She looks tired. He can scarcely imagine what it’s like to be here, but to still be up THERE at the same time. No wonder she’s exhausted. Narrator 2: She’s been through a lot.

25:56 through 26:18 Narrator 2: Saskia, who had been a little lost in thought just now, returns to herself and looks clearly at Sherman. Narrator 3: Really looks at him, a remarkable rarity, taking him in. She gives him a tiny smile and shakes her head. Narrator 2: (Saskia) “It’s okay,” she says quietly. “You go on without me.” Narrator 3: And he does, returning to his daughter, giving Saskia a moment alone.

(End)

-

Breach Transcript “Trickle-down economics.” Episode length: 43:55

43 seconds: (First mention of Saskia) Narrator 1: And a stunning blonde dreamy-eyed assistant who’s pushing a handcart of official-looking Trust-stamped Valor and Caenum sacks, one of each.

3:06: Narrator 1: Ms. Ledge and Saskia offer up the two bags for inspection.

8:39 through 9:32: Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Let’s get this party started!” Saskia says, a little too loud for comfort. “Wait, oops!” Narrator 1: Hieronymous and Lark look at her sharply, and then scan for passersby. Narrator 3: Nobody in the hallway right now. Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Did I say that here or there?” Saskia looks alarmed, glancing around, wondering which of her bodies said that. Narrator 1: Both, apparently. Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Shit. Well, works either way. Anyway…” Narrator 1: Loxlee leans in to Saskia. (Hieronymous) “Are you okay there? You gonna be a problem for yourself?” Narrator 2: (Saskia) “Nope,” says Saskia. Her cheeks are a little bit red. “Momentary distraction. All good.” Narrator 1: Hieronymous doesn’t seem entirely convinced, but he drops it, warily. Narrator 2: The Breach team has all been briefed at this point on Saskia’s unique condition, but they are by no means used to it. She’s an oddity. Hopefully not a liability.

9:32 through 9:45: Narrator 1: The party proceeds apace. Narrator 3: We meant this party of saboteurs, but technically yes, the dance party in Stationary Hill, many miles away down on the Mediun, is moving right along also.

(Party travels through the Vault and down even past the Arca, and S2 Ep 13 “Inside” tells us the elevator from the lobby to that level is a long ride.)

15:19: Narrator 2: In any case, no one moves a fucking muscle — other than Saskia, hastily shrinking herself into the background to hopefully avoid Imelda’s notice.

17:06: Narrator 3: Saskia has been attempting to lurk in the background, but nothing can evade the light of the Trust forever. Imelda’s brow furrows and her mild expression falters minutely as she begins to recognize a truly inconvenient number of them.

29:40: Narrator 3: Boom. [A sizzling of muffled explosions, like firecrackers at a distance.] Narrator 3: Fire flashes through the Caenum tubes. Narrator 2: Half the room blows up. [A massive explosion.] The floor rips asunder, heaving and splitting, and everyone is thrown off their feet.

(Jonas turns, Weepe orders him and the breach party killed except for Lark, the Company prepares to fire, Gretel’s flying a ship below the hole)

40:38: Narrator 2: And Saskia Del Norma finally pulls herself up out of the rubble to stand at the end of the wheezing bank machine, next to the one hopper still full of unexploded Valor.

41:27: Narrator 2: The following happens in the next five seconds.

41:43: Narrator 2: The Breach all exchange a look, and Saskia, beside the remains of the bank machine, lays her hand on the routing lever for the other still-uncirculated funnel full of white Valor beads. They all see what she’s thinking.

42:21: Narrator 2: Saskia looks to her compatriots in Breach — really looks at them, a remarkable rarity, taking them in. Their eyes are going wide with realization. Saskia gives them a tiny smile and shakes her head. (Saskia) “It’s okay,” she says quietly. “You go on without me.”

42:56 through 43:19: Narrator 1: And the remaining Breach survivors and Jonas Spahr lean back, fall over the lip of the crevasse, and plummet into the void… as Saskia stays behind, locks eyes with Weepe, and gently routes the funnel of Valor beads to “Shred.” [screen goes white] Narrator 2: Boom.

(End)

Here are some miscellaneous fanart sketches I’ve made over the past few months some dating back to November. (I might post all the oc art I’ve made over the same amount of time hopeful soon.)

I hope you like them!

Drawing description with bonus notes: (all of them are in drawn in pencil. I thought I should also mention that as well. ☺️)

Image 1 - is Princess Peach from the new Princess Peach Showtime sporting her new ribbon instead of her crown looking to the viewer at a 3/4 angle and shot. She is turned to our left and has her hands pushed flat together up in an excited or hopeful manner with a warm smile. She’s also in her signature outfit. (I’ve just been really excited for this game and wanted to draw her I tried swordfighter peach first and then normal but neither looked as good as I was hoping. But I’m happy this one at least looks nice! ☺️👍)

Image 2 - Is Mitsumi Iwakura from Skip and Loafer where her eyes are looking over her shoulder at a 3/4 angle headshot in the direction of our right. With a big smile wearing her uniform.

(It’s a really cute show and has made its way up to one of my Favorite shows to watch now. I would really recommend it!)

Image 3 - Is Lotte Jansson from Little Witch Academia. Where she is looking over her shoulder with her head fully turned to the right and her body slightly to the left. It is a headshot at a 3/4 angle also wearing the robe from the show.

(Also a very fun and a comforting show to watch especially with some episodes being really enjoyable to rematch and two special/movies? I wasn’t sure who to draw at first and maybe I’ll draw the rest of the cast in the future but I remember drawing this after rewatching it and feeling comforted when I was really feeling down a few months ago.)

Image 4 - is based on the Steven Universe comic draw your comfort characters meme with Descole and Kuromi I drew a month ago. Where Descole is looking down to our right downtrodden in his full Descole outfit (cloak, boa, hat, mask), . 3/4 angle with Kuromi looking vaguely into the distance with her little hand on his arm. Her height is about around his upper arm. The caption is:

Kuromi “I think we’re going to kill this guy Des.”

Desmond “Damn!”

Image 5 - is of Zelkov from Fire Emblem Engage. It isn’t much just a 3/4 angle shot looking to our right with his eyes slightly down with a neutral/ slightly curious expression. From head to the neck. I might finish it at a later date.

(But I wanted to draw him after seeing a funny out of context Zelkov moments video on YouTube and then all of his supports with the characters and just really liking his character. Like what a funny guy and his line deliveries are just ✨👌 extraordinary!)

Image 6 - is Clark Kent from My Adventures with Superman. He is looking hopeful with his head facing to the left over his shoulder, he’s stops from walking to the right. From head to waist shot, 3/4 angle. Wearing his sweater vest and shirt combo and his signature glasses.

(Drew this back in maybe December? When I watching this and it was a really cute show, it was a nice superman adaptation and I like his dynamic with the cast so I tried my hand at drawing him.)

End of description

“Sono Saki e” Random Thoughts (Review?)

Please be sure to ❗SUPPORT Wakana❗ in any way you can! Especially if you decided not to order any physical copies. You can purchase and stream Wakana’s 3rd original studio album “Sono Saki e” on various sites (mora, iTunes etc) and streaming platforms (Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, etc). • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— • BUY the album on mora (TUTORIAL here) BUY it in your local iTunes store • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— •  

Phew, this post is long-overdue. I’ve actually had this “review” sitting around in my drafts since May 30 but I wanted to wait till my physical copies arrived (unfortunately, my package took forever T_T). We have had multiple opportunities to listen to the tracks (or at least snippets of them) and of course I also listened to the digital album as soon as it became available. I’ll be honest with you, my initial reaction to the snippets and later the full tracks was rather lukewarm but in the past couple of weeks, most of the album has grown on me. So far my TOP 5 in order of their track listing are “Rapa Nui”, “標 (Shirushi)”, “希望(Kibou)”,“明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau)” and “Flag”.  Here are some random thoughts on the album as a whole and the individual songs ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)→

Vocals: I’m not gonna write an analysis on Wakana’s vocals since I obviously lack the technical knowledge for that sort of stuff but I would still like to vent a little. In recent times, Wakana has talked a lot about how she is constantly refining her skills, working with a vocal coach and discovering new ways to use her voice, however, I fail to hear any real results of those efforts. I have to wonder if her vocal coach (or Takebe in his role as producer) are even giving any sort of effective advice because it certainly doesn’t seem like they do. The Japanese mindset probably keeps them from providing proper constructive criticism. This has always been an issue in the Japanese music industry but I am noticing it more now that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru can no longer compensate for each other’s weaknesses. I don’t mean to bash or anything, you know I would never do that. I can still appreciate their solo vocals and for the most part I definitely enjoy Wakana’s vocals in this album but sometimes I get frustrated when it’s clear that the girls are not reaching their full potential or are using styles that are absolutely unflattering. I mean, who is telling Wakana (and Keiko for that matter) it’s a good idea to over-affect her voice or to sing in a register that is simply too high? Pretty sure this stuff is up to her so I guess it is a conscious choice and no one is guiding her in a better direction. I know for a fact that Wakana is capable of using a fuller, steadier voice but for some reason she often falls back on singing styles that don’t do anything for her and make her sound quite generic or borderline amateurish. It’s a shame...Rant over.

Visuals: The botanical and watery backgrounds/colours fit Wakana’s image perfectly. I wouldn’t say it’s a good match for the theme of the album but I don’t really mind. These are probably not my favourite looks for her but there are still some super lovely shots included in the photobook and lyric booklets. I originally thought all those light spots were a filter but they really used strings of light for the shoot. Not sure yet if I am a fan of the finished look.Something about it doesn’t really work for me.

Bonus material: No idea why they decided to add a DVD instead of a Blu-ray but I am just grateful we got footage from the Christmas live. It’s a solid concert with many good performances so I am happy there’s official footage. Too bad they cut the Christmas songs though, I remember enjoying them a lot. The audio tracks are a nice addition but I think instrumental versions of the album tracks would have been a nicer bonus. The exclusive fan club track is nothing to write home about, wish they had included footage from the after-talk instead or maybe the Christmas tracks.

Editions: As always, I appreciate that we get different booklets for every single edition. Makes it so much more fun and worthwhile to collect different editions. Overall I would day that all versions were reasonably priced for the content we got. And I am glad they once again decided to go for an LP-sized package with a big photobook. They look so good on my Kalafina showcase/shrine. Small nitpick: The quality of the large photobook isn’t what it used to be, it’s much thinner paper now T_T Makes it easier to scan though so I guess it’s not that bad.

Promotion: As far as the promotional campaign is concerned, I would say it’s sufficiently wide-spread on the media front but it feels a little lackluster in terms of in-store presence. Many Japanese fans have complained that the store promo for Wakana’s “Sono Saki e” wasn’t up to par with all the displays that were prepared for Keiko’s “Cutlery”. Thankfully we got the release events which added a bit of hype. Altogether, her performance in the Oricon Charts wasn’t too shabby either (#28) so the marketing team must have done something right. On a side note, I still very much appreciate the relatively high production value of Wakana’s solo works (especially compared to Hikaru’s and Keiko’s stuff). It’s clear that a lot of money is still invested in Wakana so YAY for that.

Overall thoughts: "Sono Saki e” has been a long time in the making so despite my best efforts, certain expectations have been building up. I know of course that getting my hopes up too high is a stupid thing to do because it will inevitably set me up for disappointment but I am only human and after three years of waiting, I was in a serious Wakana drought. However, now that the album is finally here, I feel a surprising sense of indifference (?) towards it. My reaction to Keiko’s latest album should have been indication enough but I think it’s becoming more and more obvious that I am suffering from a serious case of Kalafina-solo fatigue. It seems like I am steadily falling out of love with their solo music which makes me incredibly sad but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. I am not even saying that I dislike the album but there is just a lack of sparks I guess? Objectively speaking, I would say that Wakana’s 3rd album is quite good, I thoroughly enjoy around 60% of it and I’ve been listening to a lot of the songs on repeat. But I am just not as invested as I would like to be. On a side note, is it just me or does the album feel a little too rushed (despite its long production period)? I would have wanted the album to reflect the three years worth of thought and effort that were supposedly put into it but that’s honestly not the vibe I am getting here. I mean, they decided to include an instrumental of one of the tracks AND a literal copy-paste version of a previous album track, that just screams last minute decision to me. I guess it’s because the actual production didn’t start until much later so ultimately, there was a lot of rushing involved but still, it’s a shame.

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～ ●～●～●～●～

M1. Butterfly Dream: I feel like everything has already been said about this. It’s fun with the visuals of the PV but without those, the song loses a lot of its charm for me. Even though it’s the leading track of the album, I find it a bit underwhelming, maybe because the melody isn’t really resonating with me? Also, not a huge fan of how Wakana seems to over-affect (if that’s the right word?) her voice during quite a few parts of the song (especially during the chorus) to sound cute/innocent. She sometimes does this for certain types of anisong covers but it’s honestly not the most flattering singing style in my opinion. I guess the outward “cuteness” of the vocals appeals to a wider audience so it’s not a bad thing per se. I mean, there must be a reason why they picked this as promo track for the album (Rating: 2.5/5) M2. Rapa Nui: Definitely the most exciting and refreshing track on the album. The Celtic(?) sound matches Wakana’s voice perfectly. Kinda sounds like something you would hear at a medieval festival. Reminds me a bit of Kalafina’s “Moonfesta” or Hikaru’s “Fili”. Based on the title, I would have expected the song to sound totally different but I am honestly not mad about how it turned out. It’s great that they used the Rapa Nui language for some lines, spices up the whole thing. I initially believed that the song could have benefited from a stronger chorus but by now I’m literally obsessed with it, can’t get the melody out of my head :P Some of those ultra-high notes don’t sound pleasant to my ears but it’s not on a level where it takes away from my enjoyment. Contemplated taking half a point off for it but at the end of the day, it’s not worth it. It’s such a superb track (Rating: 5/5) M3. 標 (Shirushi): Sometimes this song doesn’t really affect me all that much and other times it makes me cry like a baby (especially when Wakana sings “この先も力に歌うから”). In many ways, it reminds me of “Ai no Hana” which has a similar theme and is one of my favourite tracks from Wakana’s first album but I need to hear it live to get the full experience. The same is the case for “Shirushi”. And I also have to be in the right mood for it. I am not 100% sold on the melody but Wakana’s vocals are gorgeous and the emotion she puts into her singing is just out of this world. On top of that, we have beautiful lyrics and a precious backstory, I can’t help but give this song a high rating (Rating: 4/5) M4. 希望 (Kibou): With the exception of “Rapa Nui” this is probably the only track that instantly clicked with me. Even when we just got a snippet of it, I immediately fell in love. The melody is just the right amount of cheesy in a good way, it hits me right in the feels. I think it comes closest to a standard power ballad or a 90s pop ballad. I am a huge sucker for those and it is obviously the type of song I love to hear from Wakana. Is it just me though or could Wakana have used a more flattering singing style for the chorus? She is going very high and it tends to sound a bit strained. For me, this is on the very edge of sounding screechy, a little higher, a little flatter and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it. It’s clearly a challenging track but not necessarily something that Wakana can’t handle imo. Really curious how she will be handling those parts during a live performance. Hopefully she can tweak her style a bit to make it more suitable for the song. Another tiny nitpick is the bland bridge, I wish it had a little more oomph, it’s neither here nor there but oh well, I am so smitten with this song that I can’t really focus on any of the negative aspects (Rating: 4.5/5) M5. 殻 (Kara): Who thought it was a good idea to do a “Tsubasa 2.0.”? I really wish they would have come up with something else. They had more than enough time to look into other options. I understand the intention of course, “Tsubasa” is solid and highlights some of the grittier parts of Wakana’s voice but that doesn’t warrant a blatant rip-off. Enough complaining though, I feel like I am way too harsh on “Kara”. On its own merits, it’s actually quite fun and yeah, just like its predecessor it works flawlessly to highlight Wakana’s voice in a different way, I like her more feisty singing style. Objectively speaking, I really can’t fault this song but it still doesn’t quite hit the spot for me. Thankfully, Wakana’s singing makes up for it (Rating: 3.5/5) M6. そのさきへ(Sono Saki e)～Interlude～: The melody is not striking enough. I am usually a sucker for a good instrumental piece but this one falls a little flat unfortunately. Wakana keeps saying that she cried when she first listened to the demo but I really wonder why...However, I will have to say that the gorgeous piano playing of this interlude does appeal to me more than the melody in the normal version of the song (Rating: 2.5/5) M7. KEMONO feat.清塚信也: I’ve said it before and I will say it again, every cell in my body is rejecting this type of song. I know that’s a me-problem and I feel horrible judging Wakana’s work based on such a personal preference.This reminds me way too much of some of Keiko’s city-pop (or whatever) tracks. The singing is too fast, there is no proper flow, the melody is all over the place, it’s just outright chaotic. I am sure there are people who can appreciate this new experimental style but I am unfortunately not one of them. I generally don’t like giving low ratings but it is how it is, please know that this is purely subjective (Rating: 1/5) M8. 明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau): The melody right at the beginning and sprinkled in-between the verses is what initially attracted me to the song, so pretty. However, the rest of the song didn’t leave a huge impression when I first heard it during the Christmas concert. I remember I compared it to “Boku Dake no Stage” because it was also composed by Takebe and I thought it was similarly bland. I realise now that this was a very unfair comparison because those songs have absolutely nothing in common. “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau” is much better imo and aligns more with my preferences in terms of music style. Maybe a comparison to “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” would have been better even though Takebe didn’t compose that one... Anyways, after letting the song marinate for a while, I’ve surprisingly come to love “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau”. I’d even go as far as to say it has become one of my favourite tracks from the album. The arrangement is lovely and so are the lyrics. Also adore Wakana’s singing here (Rating: 4/5) M9. Flag: This is probably the most Kalafina/FictionJunction-esque track on the entire album so I understand why it is so popular among YK/Kalafina fans. Personally, I have never been the biggest fan of YK’s more generic anisongs so this track initially didn’t impress me all that much, it was just okay for me, nothing too outstanding. But after hearing it performed live multiple times, it has significantly grown on me. It’s a really solid song and it works perfectly with Wakana’s voice. Even though it might not be the type of music I naturally gravitate towards, it’s still a banger. Especially when you take the Kalafina nostalgia into account. Fun fact, the most recent version with Sakurada has made me add 0.5 points to my initial rating, it was just so good (Rating: 4/5).  M10. そのさきへ (Sono Saki e): Ughhh, I really wanted to love this song but so far my attempts have all failed. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get into it. I mean, there must be something to love about it when I hear Wakana rave about the demo tape as if it were the best thing since sliced bread. What exactly is it about the melody that made her cry so much? It still baffles me that this was written by the same person who was responsible for “Kinmokusei” which I absolutely adore. There are some tiny similarities but all in all, “Sono Saki e” feels rather uninspired in comparison to “Kinmokusei”, at least in my opinion. Hearing it live during the release event has also not done anything to make me appreciate the song more. I am afraid it is a lost cause... (Rating: 2/5) M11. あとひとつ (Ato Hitotsu): Nothing much to say here aside from the fact that I adore this song and I am really glad that it’s finally included in an official release. I prefer to hear it live but the studio recording is surprisingly touching too. So understated and yet so charming. I like how Wakana keeps referring to it as prayer, it’s a fitting description. Perfect delivery, as always (Rating: 5/5)

Twisted Wonderland Thoughts and Theories #1

I’m here with some thoughts and theories about the new Diasomnia episode 7 chapters!

This update contains some of the most unsettling chapters of the game. It just made me shudder all over.

Well, I don’t want to give too many spoilers up here.

So, as always I’ll put everything under a cut!

Spoiler warning: Screenshots and description of events. Read at your own risk.

This update is just crazy!

It’s starts of all lighthearted and then becomes DARK at the end.

I’ve been trying not to cry but it was really hard-

As you all probably know by now, Malleus is my favorite character and I feel really connected to him.

It kind of feels like he’s the fictional depiction of my personality and me as a person. So seeing him snap and lose it, hit home really strongly. It was really hard for me to not feel like I could see myself in his shoes.

The way he screamed at Lillia in chapter 37 and told him “I WON’T HAVE TO LOSE YOU!!”, made me cry.

He sees Lillia as family and a friend. He’s not afraid of him or who he is. He sees beyond the scary exterior that Malleus can’t get rid of.

Malleus is attached to that. He’s attached to anyone that can see beyond his cold, scary exterior.

He could have refused being anyone’s friend at any time and he wouldn’t have been attached to anyone.

Right now, Malleus knows that those close to him have not hurt him in any way. So to him, it’s scary if they suddenly leave and that’s why he acted so rashly.

I’ll give a bit of an INFJ personality example, as I think he is one. His choices in this update make it clearer that he is, indeed, an INFJ.

INFJs don’t usually lose people but, people lose them. Let me explain: If I (an INFJ) befriend someone or get to know someone that later hurts me, I won’t make a fuss or fight. I would leave silently and have that person regret what they did. However, we only leave if we no longer see a solution and no longer care. If we fight and cry, we see a glimpse of hope and we still care. That can change at anytime though.

INFJs don’t like losing people they care about. We over think it and make ourselves feel like we wronged the person that left, even if it wasn’t our fault. We try to do anything we can to make our loved ones stay by our side. Loss hurts and it hurts much more when there are regrets involved as well as overthinking.

This is exactly what Malleus did in this chapter, he did what he could to make his loved ones stay. It might not be morally right but, he did the thing he found was within his power.

That is what made me emotional. He did exactly what I right now would say that I wouldn’t do and that it’s fictional, I don’t have such power. But when I think about it, if I were him, I would have done the same, if it was the only thing I could do. He’s scared of loss, he’s scared of being truly lonely. If I were in his shoes, I would have done the same. No matter how much I knew that they would hate me when they got back. I would believe that what I did was for them, even if it was selfish, I would believe that I did the right thing.

I think this is how Malleus feels and I understand that not everyone agrees with what he did. I am not trying to justify it. All I know and believe is that he acted on his fears. He lost his parents and now the person he saw as a friend and a family figure is going to leave him as well? Well, I think any of us would have snapped and gone mad.

I’ve also suffered a lot of losses of dear people. This is probably why I feel so much sympathy for Malleus. It’s much worse if you can do something and don’t do it. Even if it’s not the ideal solution. Well he did what he did so there’s no way of changing that.

Or maybe there is-

This brings us to the second part of this post. The theory part. (Even if we had a bit of theory above too)

We’ll also be discussing his overblot form. So first a screenshot from the game. (I’m also looking at the full overblot image)

I’ll just say it. He looks absolutely stunning and I would like to know where he found this stylish outfit-

Really-

Mhm-

The blot tears are dripping down much further than in the other overblot designs. They’re basically telling us that he’s been holding back his pain for hundreds of years.

The thorns symbolize the shackles of his position and power and everything he’s had to suppress.

He also has a belt over the thorn corset, it’s fastened in a way that makes it feel hasty. It feels like a symbol for hastily suppressed emotions, that are on the verge of erupting.

His horns are glowing with the same color that his powers have. His tail does the same.

He has blot markings on his face and his hand that look like dragon scales.

The markings on his face and the slicked back hair reminds me of Maleficent’s image with her head piece and horns.

The ends of his outfit are torn but with a spiky thorn like look on them. Even his leggings and underskirt(?) have spikes and look like thorns. His cape has green thorns as well.

He has this thorn harness(?) over his chest and a collar metal like tight around his neck.

His whole overblot outfit gives off the impression of symbolizing restraint and suppressed emotions.

No matter how much he smiles or laughs, there is still this coldness to it. It’s like he’s numb to his emotions.

We’ll probably get to know soon enough.

His shadow looked a lot like Maleficent in this image below:

Now for another image.

This basically shows how strong Malleus is. His powers put a whole country/island to sleep. I think he would have been able to do much more damage had he wanted to. He’s too strong.

The last images for this post are here and with them the last part of this post.

“You will be the heroes of a fairy tale.”

This makes it seem as if Malleus is telling them to fight him. Or that he’s giving them a second chance to save themselves from this fate. Or he’s not talking to the characters but to the people playing the role of the main character. To us. He’s telling us to be the hero of this story and save ourselves and the others.

There have also been these theories about the Yuu-verse and that there have been a lot of Yuus that have failed at stopping Malleus. Maybe there is a hidden chapter that unlocks after you defeat Malleus in the battle. But it’s impossible to win so I don’t know how this will go.

I think he might be alluding to The Sleeping Beauty trope and how they will be heroes, either saving each other or getting saved. He might also be alluding to the Maleficent movies and how she was portrayed as a hero instead of a villain in that story. He’s basically talking about the story of Twisted Wonderland as well, and how it’s making villains show heroic characteristics. It’s an amazing line and just makes the gears turn in my head.

If you look closely here, the logo is rippling like water.

The fact that Malleus started singing Once Upon a Dream at this moment makes it feel as if you’re being in a dream. The rippling images in movies and the sound of a harp playing always meant that the character was getting a flashback or dreaming in old movies. This might indicate that the game is going to start over until we save everyone from Malleus or that we’re all goners now.

I have a feeling that Idia or Maleficia (Malleus’s grandma) or both might help us out of this situation.

Or we’ll get a super out of the box surprise with all of the Yuus arriving at the door from different universes to help us (the current Yuu) defeat Malleus. That would be epic.

Or a more ultra super maximum universe can not comprehend out of the box surprise where the great 7 come and save us with Maleficent as the leader. That would be epic beyond belief.

Or all of the above.

I’d be happy with anything as long as it makes the wait worth it.

This part at the end of chapter 37 made me shudder because it was really unsettling.

Malleus is humming to Once Upon a Dream and it sounds hypnotic and scary. It almost sounds more like the Maleficent movie version more than The Sleeping Beauty version. The first is much darker and sounds scary while the latter is upbeat and sounds happy and sweet.

It feels like we’re getting an early ending, like a game over after meeting the final boss. It’s like we’re starting the game again. Like we woke up from an eternal sleep, to try our luck with saving the world again.

It just feels melancholy and like dejavu, like losing your memories but remembering the feelings you had associated with them. It’s strange and it’s a great thing that this game has accomplished. You don’t get this feeling easily in real life. This game should get awards and worldwide recognition for the amazing work put into it.

—————————————————————————

Thank you for reading this! I really love explaining and sharing my thoughts and theories on the things I like. It took me 3 hours or more to write this as properly as I could and to get my thoughts across as much as possible. I really hope I did a good job.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

You can always tell me what you think as well!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

This is my favorite main story episode so far and it really pulls at my heartstrings in every possible way.

I look forward to the conclusion and how everything unfolds.

Thank you for reading!

-Miss F

Hello! I haven’t posted anything for…a while now lmao but I HAVE been drawing. So, allow me to dump all my art in this post so I can disappear off the face of the Earth again because composing a good post is too much effort for my pathetic brain to handle /hj

I’ll try to put them in order of when they were made, but I’ll also group them into categories. The date as well as my signature can be found on all of the drawings (if you care lol)

This is a drawing I did for a friend of mine. It’s his original character, Mad Snake. Normally, I don’t like taking requests, but I genuinely enjoyed drawing this guy, so I didn’t mind it. He was a step out of my comfort zone, and I liked how he turned out!

Now, the Jaiden pieces! The first one was my idea that Jaiden started performing for Las Casualonas (but, like, as a singer or stage personality. She never actually did anything spicy). I also thought she and Melissa could have a really funny dynamic. Like some sort of rivalry for the audience’s attention/love.

The second picture, as it obviously states, is what I headcannon Jaiden looks like working for the federation. I had fun with her scythe (and if you pay close attention, you can see a little something in the reflection:])

And the third one is of Jaiden stretching w/ her wings. It’s also the most recent of this entire batch. Basically, I finally came up with a way that I liked to draw wings and had a sketch in my sketchbook of that pose, so I drew Jaiden. Her shirt intentionally comes down low in the back to make space for the wings, and her hands are out of frame because I didn’t want to draw them. Also, that one only took me about 2 and a half hours, where most of the other took from 6-8 hours, so…lol

The next pieces are an original work from 8th grade an the redraw two years later. It was an assignment that we had to read a novel and then make a trailer for it. I asked to make a drawing instead, and thus, this creation was born.

I changed a little bit, like putting two of the characters in the trees instead of a fading color behind them. Overall, they both took me three days and I’m really happy about how the redraw turned out.

This is Imp. Yes, he looks like SomethingElseYT, but I don’t care. I love him, and I was already attatched when I realized. I made a whole spread in my sketchbook for him (I ran out of images, so I didn’t include it here. Maybe another day) Also he serves no purpose other than being something I can doodle on random things and places. He doesn’t even have hands

This next one is a self-portrait in an outfit that I really liked! The original had my full name, but I blurred it for the sake of not wanting my full name on the internet (I’ve probably screwed up somewhere, but at least I’m trying :’)

And this last one is meant to be part of a collection, but I only made for Kenny. I want to draw all of the main four in South Park as teens, but I haven’t been able to think of poses and stuff for the others. It willl happen one day, but for now have this I guess

So, yeah. That was all the art that I wanted to share but haven’t had the motivation to actually put together posts for all of them. Hope you enjoyed my little display lmao

You probably won’t see for the next, like, couple of months because I’m really bad at posting. So, take this as my going away gift :D

i’ve got my eye on you: virginia creel still has her eyes and i know how she got them back.

insanity time: it looks like Virginia’s eyes may still be intact. there’s more evidence for this too and I’ll compile it later but anyway.

This shot of Henry from Henry’s retelling, right? The shot where we’re literally seeing through Virginia’s eyes based on where she lands on the table in Victor’s retelling?

And then the shot from Victor’s retelling where we’re looking through Henry’s eyes at Virginia?

Okay so, look closely at Virginia’s top eye in that second screenshot from Victor’s retelling.

Idk about you guys but to me, I can definitely see a pupil, iris, and white of the eye. The iris is blue for some reason and seems to have a black ring around it, which is strange, esp considering that Virginia’s eyes are brown.

Now, I KNOW that this sounds like an insane stretch. Like, what other evidence is there that could possibly tie to the idea of Virginia somehow ending up with blue eyes that’s also tied to vision/illusion imagery?

.

.

.

Oh.

I’m just saying. The vecna vision version of Laura Cunningham/Chrissy’s mom has EXTREMELY similar jewelry to Virginia, similar hair, wears similar pink clothes, and even wears the exact same shade of nail polish as Virginia.

“Well maybe Laura Cunningham’s eyes are blue and that’s why the vecna verison of her eyes are blue” Nope. They’re brown. Laura’s eyes are brown. I’ve hit my image limit but go look at a picture of her. They turned blue as part of an illusion/powers and I think the same may have happened with Virginia, hell, Max’s eyes turn bright blue when she’s tranced, same with all of the other trance victims it seems- their eyes look “white,” but in reality, it’s actually very light blue contacts with the pupil seemingly edited out in post production.

Let’s look at a brightened pic of Virginia’s eye.

Like cmon. You can see the pupil and the blue iris and the white sclera!! It’s right there!!! She has her eye!! It’s regenerated and that’s what that weird, tendril shaped goo is that doesn’t flow the same way that the blood is flowing!

That strange goo around Virginia’s eye… not the blood, but the extra, tendril-shaped stuff.. that isn’t there in previous shots… It’s the same sort of shape and consistency as the goo in the byers shed (where Will likely shot henry, which is shown in the comics), and the same as the goo that the Henrygorgon and S4 vecna Henry melt down into and then later reform from. (the henrygorgon in the byers house and Henry in s4 after Nancy launches him through a window).

Henry canonically has regenerative healing. His healing, like I said, is what we see with the Henrygorgon regrowing it’s foot and reforming after dissolving in s1, and the same with Henry after getting launched through the window by Nancy AND with how his neck tentacle grows back after Max ripped it. And I don’t think it’s the result of his banishment into the UD, nor of the shadow particles, as how on earth would he have survived the lightning if he didn’t have regenerative abilities pre-shadow particles? How would he have survived El banishing him? Imo, his healing is genetic, and he got it from Virginia. Not to mention that Henry’s regenerative healing is very likely what resulted in the vines on his body- they’re vine-like tumors (hence why he also has teeth in his forehead etc- it’s like a rumour), his cells replicate similarly to tumors as part of his healing- why is the vine/tentacle imagery relevant? Because the goo around Virginia’s eyes is shaped like little vines/tendrils, it’s a visual callback to Henry’s tentacles and how both his tentacles AND Virginia’s eye involves regenerative healing.

I also have a more in-depth (but not full) analysis of Henry’s regenerative healing in this post. I’m still not sure what exactly happened with every single aspect of the creel murders- Henry very well may have attempted to kill Virginia and she survived, only to be killed later by Henry or lab officials showing up to the house, but I also think parts of it were an illusion. I’m definitely going to try and get to the bottom of it in a full analysis though. I’m also going to do a full ST regenerative healing analysis at some point because there’s a LOT more to it.

But yeah. That’s why we got that shot through Virginia’s eyes of her looking up at Henry- because she was literally looking at him.