#makes me feel so many things
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i just think ex!wonwoo who you still fuck around with would be toxic as hell but just as equally hot 🥹 any thoughts on this, nalani 🎤
OH MAN DO I HAVE THOTS ‼️
like ex bf!wonu would be so toxic only hitting you up late at night or at like 1 in the morning, but you come every time be he just fucks you so good, makes you cream and squirt every time. it doesn’t matter that you don’t ever talk unless it’s to fuck or that he always happens to hit you up when you’re talking to someone new, you can’t resist him ever and he’s the exact same way with you 😩
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Poet, Soldier, King and that quiz that pretty much made me realize stuff. Thank you, @atlanticsea. The artistry and the poetry always made me want to bite things.
The rest of the comic under the read more.
Support me with a Coffee: https://ko-fi.com/belleillumina
#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#oh hellos#uquiz#fan comic#soldier poet king#indie comics#original characters#comic#my comic#oc art#yeah#belle draws#this is unfinished based on how much longer this is because i wanted to incorporate the soldier and poet sections#but i don't think i'll ever be able to finish this and it cut off in a proper way#your love is where you breathe#makes me feel so many things#my art
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation
because WHAT are people talking about sometimes
#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things#full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes#because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner#'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon'#and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is#at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all#please tell me you know that#or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy#being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'
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1.05 / Battle of the Labyrinth
#I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS#percy jackson#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians#pjotv#percabeth#pjo#screaming crying#mine#100#500#1k#5k#im in the middle of packing and this sent me frantically looking for my copies of pjo#anyway#i feel so insane i feel like im gonna die can anyone hear me. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#annabeth has been so disconnected from the mortal world and just so fundamentally unable to enjoy her childhood#it makes me want to sob like seriously#i hope her and percy go on so many movie dates. like#not even just her and percy i hope percy tells grover and word spreads around camp and movie nights just become a thing at camp#because all these babies deserve it#god im gonna die. im seriously gonna die#WE KNOW THERE'S AN ORIENTATION VIDEO#SO THEY HAVE A PROJECTOR AND A SCREEN#MOVIE NIGHTS COULD HAPPEN!!!#okay bye. i'm going to go scream about percabeth some more
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we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible
reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️
#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3#too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture#its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it#there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic#the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho#plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric...#... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages'#that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world#i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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I just threw up from remembering dean winchester is canonically bi in spanish.
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU#lan wangji#wei wuxian#digital art#Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics.#So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai#Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun!#Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*)#I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered.#My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.”#Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH.#Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept.#This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later.#And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.
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normal guys in a normal relationship (giving you a not very convincing thumbs up). macdennis doodles from this week :)
#macdennis#macden#iasip#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#it's always sunny in philadelphia#everytime dennis touches mac in that weird touchy way of his i throw up a lil. gayboy#they are.. looking at skin mags. btw. i didn't draw it completely but there is uh. well.uhm. suggestive things you can zoom in on i guess#drawing charlie in that angle with no beard really got me. like who is that. if he ever shaves i'll probably think they replaced him#i already feel physically ill when i have to forgo mac's beard. they hatecrimed me when they had mac clean shaven tbh#i'm like the biggest deffender of so many decisions made. except for that.#STOP MAKING ME LOOK AT HIS BARE CHEEK?!?! it's like he's naked
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i was asked to give connor this and here we are
#dbh connor#dbh#detroit become human#hank anderson#i'm sorry i can't draw hot men but i'm trying rly rly#thanks for the idea more excuses to draw connor#i freaking love bryan's face he's so pretty and yet so like regular looking idk how to explain but he's so pretty#but also looking like a regular guy you could meet everyday#i have no idea how to draw him i tried many times and he's impossible#idk i hate pretty men they make me feel things bc what are you pretty for#lol
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shart my beloved <3
#bg3#bg3 fanart#shadowheart#bg3 spoilers#I LOVE YOU SHADOWHEARTTT U REPRESENT SO MANY THINGS THAT MAKE ME *FEEL*#SO I SPENT 23904820934 HOURS ON A DRAWING OF YOU HPOPE THATS OKAY#MY ART
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btw i do think we should have more movies about lesbians who are fully realized complex characters who ultimately achieve happiness in ways they may not even necessarily deserve and get to ride into the sunset with their lover because lesbians deserve to know that a happy ending is possible despite how unrealistic it may seem and despite a world that doesn't understand or support them. and i think these movies should depict sex and fetish content because it's hot and because lesbians deserve to know that no matter how messy or "weird" their desire seems it's real and it's even worth celebrating. and if you don't agree. well. you should not be allowed to watch movies
#movie tag#love lies bleeding#drive away dolls#i have so many feelings about this. and i think it's awesome there are two movies THIS YEAR ALONE that are doing the damn thing.#makes me feel hopeful and confident about the future of movies. not overall but in a specific sense.
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I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself#note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown#when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is#and how much his persona is more an actor#Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so#since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it#and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are#I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja#his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times#not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo#but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters#or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily#it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do#like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero#All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential#likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja#but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse#he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it#Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like#you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION
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