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96percentdone · 1 year

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I loved Glass Onion and I genuinely think the movie slaps 10/10 but I woke up asking myself "why did the disrupters side with Miles in the first place." None of them have ever liked him, they all also know he's a stupid bitch, and while I'm sure he was bankrolling their needs to be successful, Alpha wasn't exclusively his for a long time, so she must have played a role in that, right? But it's obvious. It's because he's a white guy, with all the privilege in the world, and they assumed that because he was stupid they could use him to get/stay ahead, only realizing too late that this changed NOTHING about the system, so they still have to live with the consequences of it. More about just. Like. The entire movie. Under the cut.

Miles seems good at building an image and making connections; the one thing we see him achieve is convincing the world at large he is smarter than he is through outright lies, and even people who know he's an idiot believe his smaller lies with ease because they find his idiocy un-threatening. It just doesn't occur to them he could willfully fuck them over or act maliciously. Hence, Andi lets him into her home the night she dies; Blance says Andi was not afraid of Miles, and like...this is why. His image to the disrupters is of that idiot (who all except maybe Andi DO NOT LIKE) with ideas sometimes, so there's no way he would lie or kill, and they need him around. I think its significant that everyone else in the disrupters is in some way oppressed either through misogyny (Claire, Birdie) or race (Lionel, Duke), or both (Andi); Miles is a moron with like no creative merit of his own, but he has every privilege, so people are just more willing to believe and support things if he's backing them.

Now, we don't see a lot of Andi, but by contrast, from what we do see she's quite professional, brilliant, a little mysterious, even if she's also congenial. She has so many things going for her, and in a just world people like investors or businessmen or even just friends and strangers would see those things for what they are. Now I think anyone finds professionalism a little intimidating no matter who it's from, but because we live in a racist and misogynistic society, a black woman who carries herself with dignity and competence and assurance is inherently going to be received worse, far worse no matter her achievements, merits, or skills.

So....when push comes to shove, they choose Miles, and cut her out. They might face oppression on some axis or another, but they each have some privilege over Andi, and Miles? Well, he's an idiot, right? To paraphrase Birdie: he's a thing in their hands they can use. He's not a threat. But they're wrong. Miles is an idiot, that much is true, but he has all the power over them, and they gave him more of it. They don't have any other option now except TO depend on him, and cater to his needs and whims, and suffer the consequences of his actions, because without him, they lose everything.

Over the years of their alliance, they started believing they were equal to him, because they know they're the ones with real talent (even Birdie has some talent, it's just like nowhere near traditional intelligence), that they forgot they came as far as they did because of him. Not his skills or merits, but because he's good at looking a certain way to an audience by nature: because he was born a white guy. And now he's a billionaire white guy who pays for all their endeavors. They need him; he does not need them. More than once the movie establishes his 100000 connections he has now: they're replaceable. He could cast them out at any moment like he did with Andi, and it would mean nothing. He killed Duke on paranoid impulse because Duke meant nothing to him.

I think it makes a fun contrast between Helen and Blanc, another instance of an extremely marginalized person (a working class black woman) allying with a fairly well off white guy. She needs his help, because to her, he has skills she does not have, or so she thinks, although she also recognizes what he really has that she doesn't. Though she believes she's not very good at investigating or detective work, she gets a lot accomplished by herself, even before contacting him. She may be less experienced at it than the guy who is a detective for his own job, but she isn't less capable, something Blanc points out often throughout the movie. While Blanc's experience is definitely useful, his real asset is his privilege and larger voice. And that's where the contrast lies.

Miles is constantly just telling the other disrupters what they have to do, and bullying them into making bad deals, or screwing people over, because he can! He has that power! He does not think or consider anyone beyond himself and his own ambitions; it's all about him. The scene with Peg comes to mind. But Blanc is constantly asking Helen what she would like to do, and if she wants to back out. He supports her capability and never downplays it or insists he knows better or more than her, except when he tries to get her to stop drinking, which is born out of concern for her well being and the danger she could put herself in. He gives Helen the tools she needs to get the justice she deserves and steps aside. The whole movie he is giving her the reins. He knows he has privilege, and that's what she needs most from him, not his skills.

Helen takes Miles down through her own merits. She does most of the investigative work, finds most of the relevant clues, understands many of the plans without being told and even comes up with her own, and carries out justice on her own terms. It's her story. Blanc is just the support. Their allyship is born from respect and mutual understanding, while the disrupters never respected Miles, and he never did them. The disrupters (bar Andi) were all using one another to get ahead, and gain/sustain their power, without caring about anyone else, and inevitably that backfires on them. You can't save yourself from systemic oppression by attempting to use it to pull yourself up. You're still just playing the game that way, not escaping it. Leeching off someone's systemic privilege does not give you their power; it gives them power over you. It reinforces the system in a way where you get ahead, but they're never going to end up on top.

Helen does. Because she took the system and burnt it to the ground. She can't get what she deserves if she plays by their rules and their game, so she never does. She constantly challenges and undermines it, and so she wins. She has support that enabled her to do so, but its on her terms, and he steps aside to let her.

There are those like Miles who don't even understand the how and why they're on top and assume its their own merits but its actually just an intangible structure entirely beyond their control built off the backs of other people, and those like the disrupters and Peg and Whiskey who believe they can use the system to get themselves the power and privilege they want without changing anything or caring about anyone else but ultimately still suffer and live under it. There are those like Andi who hope that playing by the rules with integrity and merit will win the day even if it never could (Andi), and there are the ones see everything for what it is. The ones who see their privilege and use it to either empower those who need it to change without taking credit or control, like Blanc, and of course...the ones that that action. People like Helen who know better than anyone else exactly what's wrong, and will do anything and everything they can to put an end to it.

Idk. I don't know if I said anything new. I'm sure most people who watched the movie had a lot of the same thoughts. Also I'm white so many nuances specific to race specifically likely escaped me. I just kinda wanted to articulate some of the feelings I had, even if they've been said millions of times before.

#glass onion #knives out glass onion #knives out 2 #glass onion a knives out mystery #hope.txt #benoit blanc

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nsrcel-iimb · 2 years

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Startup Incubation

What is the startup incubator of today? It is a safe space for uncertainty. An incubator is no longer concerned only with doling out advice on Porter’s five forces or providing connects to Softbank’s Vision Fund or offering AWS credits. It does all of the above because that is the minimum expectation. But it does (or is supposed to do) something more. It needs to cater to those with ideas and to those with the money to bankroll ideas while actively testing the known unknowns and unknown unknowns of business growth.

Entrepreneurs should not require incubation. Having an innate desire to convert an idea into a sustainable business that a large number of people admire and actually making it happen is a great feat. And so many people do it. But not everyone gets to the zenith – most remain small. So, what gives? It is a mix of mindset, skill, timing, network, money, market need, luck, and many more factors. In other words, there is extreme uncertainty. So much so that willingly choosing the life of an entrepreneur is akin to masochism. Unless they (the entrepreneur) are one of those people who tries out everything under the sun by themselves, they choose external help. They seek refuge in a place that understands, appreciates, and helps overcome uncertainty while making it look cool.

Investors need entrepreneurs and not the other way around. Because having money can be due to inheritance, but pursuing that one game-changing idea to its fruition requires a unique creative madness. Venture capitalists have narrowly defined theses – this is to help them find such creative genius diamonds amidst many ordinary rocks. Meanwhile, corporate investors need a lab to experiment with inter- and cross-disciplinary ideas that are too wacky to be carried out in their own innovation departments. And philanthropic donors appreciate an outlet at arm’s length, which lets them systematically roll out interventions that alleviate poverty or increase the standard of living. Most funders can do by themselves many things that an incubator does for them. Yet, they turn to this semi-permeable membrane because they get an osmosis of quality solutions.

We live in a world grappling with multiple crises: a pandemic that is still around, a reckless war, a likely global recession, and the runaway train called climate change. Sustainability no longer remains a buzzword and diversity & inclusion are not just feel-good elements. They are at the core of the startup incubation of today. When it addresses the challenges of its immediate surroundings or contributes to the nation’s infrastructure or helps overcome a global emergency, today’s incubator becomes greater than the sum of its individual parts. It also creates entrepreneurs who can solve for the future.

What will the startup incubator of tomorrow look like? It will carry a digital avatar that allows hyper-experimentation of all unknowns to every human being in any corner of the globe, without the pre-requisite of institutional credentials, prior experience, or socioeconomic status. The only requirement? An obsession.

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banarjeenikita · 2 years

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Startup Incubator

We live in a world grappling with multiple crises: a pandemic that is still around, a reckless war, a likely global recession, and the runaway train called climate change. Sustainability no longer remains a buzzword and diversity & inclusion are not just feel-good elements. They are at the core of the startup incubator of today. When it addresses the challenges of its immediate surroundings or contributes to the nation’s infrastructure or helps overcome a global emergency, today’s incubator becomes greater than the sum of its individual parts. It also creates entrepreneurs who can solve for the future.

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projectcubicle1 · 2 years

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How to Use Bitcoin Prime to Maximize Your Profits

How to Use Bitcoin Prime to Maximize Your Profits in Cryptocurrency Trading

Bitcoin Prime, the auto trader bot for cryptocurrency, has proven to be the best investment I have ever made in my life so far. It isn’t every day that you discover such a reliable way to make money on auto trader. And I’m so glad I found it before it was too late! I had no idea what crypto-currency trading was when I stumbled upon Bitcoin Prime at first, but now I can say with confidence that there isn’t any other app out there that can compete with its success rate.

Introduction to Crypto

Cryptocurrencies have been taking over headlines lately, but there’s a lot of confusion surrounding them. Some are calling cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin the future of money. And others believe that they’re just a flash in a pan. While some people think they should be used as an investment vehicle or as currency, most investors see crypto trading as a game full of potential risks and rewards. If you want to know more about cryptocurrency trading and how it works, we suggest reading our complete beginner's guide to cryptocurrency trading. It will help demystify any questions you may have about cryptocurrencies and give you actionable advice for your future investments. What Is Bitcoin Prime? Bitcoin Prime is a legit app that improves your bankroll daily with its advanced algorithm when it comes to cryptocurrency trading. It also has state-of-the-art security and an impressive trader rating so you can feel confident putting your money into it. The best part? You don’t have to worry about setting anything up or learning how trades work. The whole process is automated thanks to artificial intelligence (AI). Check out our guide below for details on how you can start using it now!

Benefits of Using the Auto Trader at Bitcoin Prime

One of the biggest problems people have with cryptocurrency trading is having a lot of time on their hands to watch over their trades. The goal, after all, is not just profit but also efficiency and doing things that help us improve our quality of life. That’s why it makes sense to invest in auto trading software like Bitcoin Prime; it will trade for you using proven algorithms so you can focus on more important things, like family or your career. Even better, there are two specific ways crypto traders can benefit from using an auto trader. First and foremost, if you use a crypto trading bot, you’ll see results faster than if you were doing everything yourself manually—and who has time for that? Types of Signals Bitcoin Prime has two main types of signals that you can use for trading: Day and Night. Each time frame has a specific purpose. So, if you are a trader who wants to have some work-life balance, then day trading is perfect for you! If you are constantly busy and are aiming for maximum profits each day, then night trading is best for your needs. The platform can also generate alerts depending on whether an investment has low risk or high-risk potential. There is also an algorithm that can detect whether a cryptocurrency will experience major swings in prices or not, making it easier for users to predict future changes or avoid them completely when necessary. Features at a Glance One of our main goals is to make cryptocurrency trading accessible and easy for everyone. We’ve created a unique suite of features and tools that no other platform has. That means you have more opportunities than ever before. For example, access over 1000 assets, including some rare altcoins not even listed on other exchanges yet. Plus, you can exchange without transaction fees if you take advantage of our recently launched zero-fee transactions feature! Why Choose Us? As mentioned above, we are one of a few companies that have integrated algorithmic trading into cryptocurrency. We also have our eye on some other currency pairs including Litecoin and Ethereum. Our platform is available for all major cryptocurrency exchanges including Coinbase, Bittrex, Poloniex, Kraken, and Bitfinex. Sign up for a free trial today and use code FREE for a lifetime membership! Bitcoin Prime’s advanced algorithm takes advantage of arbitrage opportunities by simultaneously buying from one exchange and selling on another. This ensures you always get a fair price when you trade cryptocurrencies, even if it means paying more than what others are willing to pay. If you're looking for an easy way to make money online with no risk or effort involved, then sign up now! All you need is $100 USD deposited into your account to start earning passive income right away. No experience is needed. Get started now!

Conclusion Bitcoin Prime is a clever, safe, and profitable automatic trading software. Bitcoin Prime is a legit app that improves your bankroll daily with its advanced algorithm when it comes to cryptocurrency trading. The key to getting more profits from your bankroll on cryptocurrency exchanges is letting experienced auto-trading software do all the hard work for you. With a superb user interface, top-of-the-line technology, and fair fee model, Bitcoin Prime is among one those apps that provide the best results for its customers compared to other existing competitors in crypto markets. Its clean design has clearly organized all its features so users can get the most out of it as soon as possible. We strongly recommend trying it out now! Read the full article

#cryptoautotrader #HowtoUseBitcoinPrime #whatisbitcoinprime

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captaineasygame1us · 2 years

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What Makes Casinos Unique?

If you are a gambling enthusiast, you may have heard of casinos. But do you know what makes them unique? Here is a quick introduction. Read on to learn more about their types, history, and characteristics. And don't forget to practice responsible gambling - never gamble with more money than you can afford to lose! Moreover, you should never borrow money or try to make up for the money you lose. To limit the time you spend in a casino, set a time limit before entering the casino and try to play with a limited amount of money. Consider using a pre-commitment facility if you can afford to leave the casino immediately. "dg"

Overview

In the US, there are several different types of gambling establishments, including commercial casinos. There are slot machines and table games, such as roulette and blackjack. Specialty games can also be found, such as scratch cards and lottery games. Some casinos even have arcades where players can play games like keno. Other casinos list bingo games and scratch cards separately. A few even have their own categories. Whether you're a casual player or a serious investor, here is a brief overview of the different types of casino games.

Types

There are two main types of casinos. The first is a live casino, which is a traditional establishment with dealers who deal poker hands and spin the roulette wheel. The second is an online casino, which allows players from anywhere in the world to play casino games on their computer or mobile device. In both types of casinos, players can play table games such as blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. These games are commonly found in bars and other establishments.

History

The casino was introduced to Europe in the late seventeenth century. The first casino was approved by French emperor Louis XIV, who was interested in replenishing the state's treasury. This era saw the establishment of large gaming institutions in France, Italy, and Germany. The French city of Monte Carlo became the centre of gambling during this period. In the twentieth century, the American Las Vegas emerged as the main center of casino culture.

Characteristics

Before joining an online casino, players should look into a variety of factors. These factors include deposit and withdrawal options, customer service, and the casino's policy on responsible gambling. Besides these aspects, players should also consider a number of other factors. Taking a look at these factors will help them form an opinion about the casino's reliability. In this article, we will discuss some of the most common casino characteristics and explain why they matter.

Attractions

Slot machines are one of the most popular attractions in casinos. These machines offer everyone a chance to win money by simply inserting a coin and clicking. Modern slot machines are sophisticated and have high-tech features. You can even play bingo in casinos. If you're looking for a new and exciting way to win money, casinos offer a variety of bingo rooms. They have everything from traditional to progressive jackpots. You can even win a big cash prize if you hit the jackpot!

House advantage

The house advantage in casinos is the casino's advantage over the player in a game. In theory, this should discourage most gamblers, but casinos actually retain a small house edge that will eventually favor the house over time. In practice, it is impossible to beat the casino in the long run. To overcome the house advantage in casino games, players must use good bankroll management and self-control to beat the house. Although this is more difficult than it sounds, it is possible to win money by beating the casino.

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incarnateirony · 3 years

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I just had a terrible thought. What if Jared was to be an investor in the show?

Nightmare thoughts

He doesn't actually have the income to do that in any sort of substantial way, episodes modernly tend to be like 2 million each, his net worth is somewhere around 10-20, including his house and other assets. He makes decent money but he'd sink himself as an individual investor. Generally it's more companies that tend to make that kind of move. His income per episode is something like 200K rn on walker, supposedly. Meaning if he sunk his entire current paycheck into everything, 100%, he could maybe bankroll 10%.

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neocity-sarai · 4 years

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Fight for You

❂ concept: cyberpunk/futuristic au!

❂ pairing: mark lee x reader

❂ alerts: angst, fluff, mentions of blood, violence, death

3 years and 2 months that you’ve lived alone. 3 years and 2 months that you’ve survived without the help of your parents or any friends. Sometime ago, the world felt like it was truly ending. Disease and famine plagued the earth, it seemed as all hope was lost. Megacities were ruined from an onslaught of tsunamis, wildfires, and hurricanes. Your parents shielded you with the comfort of your small apartment, the warmth of their embraces to ease the anxiety. Yet, it wasn’t enough. You remember how your 15 year-old-self watched your mother slowly wither away, the disease could have infected her from anywhere: the grocery store, work, or from your own family. It felt unfair, the way people had to die when they had no choice to make money for the roof over their heads or to put food on the table. Your father held you close, his sobs shaking his entire body at the sight of your mother’s dying heart. Your whole world fell as silent as your mother’s heartline when your father whispered in your ear. He told you he was sorry, how he wished that he could tell you everything was going to be alright. He told you, “I don’t have much time left either.”

You could barely blink. You froze in place, your hands shaking at an uncontrollable rate. You eyed him incredulously, “What are you talking about?”

That night, you came home alone. You knew that the disease made adults more vulnerable yet you couldn’t believe that you had lost both of your parents in one day. All you could do was sit in your living room and cry until you couldn’t breathe. You screamed until your lungs heart, the weight of grief crushing your chest- it suffocated you. All that swirled in your head was memories of your mother cooking dinner while your father chased you around the dining table or the way you’d go to the city to explore, laughing in your family’s van as you drove. It was all too much. What were you going to do? Who would you call for help? Your family didn’t have many relatives in the area after your father decided to take a PR job in New York City. You felt all alone, the gloomy, steely skies looked especially lonely outside of your window. You couldn’t even see the sun.

You fell asleep on your living room couch, your muscles sore from the unmoving position of your legs and arms. Deciding to switch on the TV, you were sure that the government would send a social worker to come fetch you- that’s what they always said on the news. Surprisingly, headlines read, “New vaccine formulated by pharmaceutical team at New York Institute of Medicine.” Despite the fact being good news, you felt numb. It didn’t matter because you had lost your family. It was too late. Over the next two years, the government issued a world-wide administration of the vaccine, the diseases had almost disappeared entirely. People were able to go back to work, walk their dogs, and dine out with their friends. The UN had stated each nation would work together to rebuild the damage of what was lost, whole cities were torn down to restart again. Technology advanced just as quickly: the old, ruined world becoming a man-made virtual paradise. Engineers and infrastructure developers reached new heights by building jets that flew at 1,840 miles per hour to skyscrapers that seemed to pierce through heaven. Somehow, by mercy, you managed to see the world change. You survived.

Current time

Of course, there wasn’t a real opportunity to go back to school after the plague, it led you to look for other ways to contribute to the work force instead. In the old world, work consisted of becoming a doctor, a lawyer, even a neighborhood bee-keeper ; as a young kid, you never had a clear idea of who or what you wanted to be. When you started to stabilize yourself by taking small part-time jobs that didn’t require a degree or some form of formal education, you slowly started to accumulate savings. After a while, you had been eyeing a virtual game constructed by the Kynigos company that swept the world by storm. It was everywhere on social media, all of the sign boards that lined 2nd avenue to 7th. Almost every family on your block purchased these visionary headsets that allowed you to see life in a kaleidoscopic lense. When you tried yours on for the first time, it was utterly breathtaking. New York city mimicked that of rainbow road in your old mario kart game, the streets glowed hues of bubblegum pinks and electric blues. The skyscrapers were dripping with panels of evergreens and xanthous yellows as the sky sparkled as a net covered it, the tiny strands glittering with violet crystals. You continued to walk down the block, circles glowing over your eyes and floating signboards that advertised expensive desserts bobbed up and down. As you scanned your surroundings, every person on the street or drivers cruising down the road had their headset on. Cars projected virtual screens that were lined with data codes and numbers. Even the foliage on the trees changed a new color every morning and night, the clouds moved by glitching slightly. It was like you could sweep your fingertips across every color you could think of, the streetlamps dripping gold above your head.

Each time Kynigos uploaded a new software update, people would go ballistic over the installation of game mode. In place of a regular day job, you’d be able to make money by taking investors’ requests and errands. It ran on in-game currency that could be exchanged for real money in which you desperately needed to eat, to live. That’s where you were: you took requests for the smaller investors like fetching their meals or buying their groceries. Moving up, you honed your skills on clearing the game levels, earning access to a database of more promising, richer moguls. They were getting hungry, some of them crossing the law to conduct illegal activities in-game: Kynigos never really enforced the restrictions. No matter how much the government tried to take over the game, it would only gain more and more powerful. They always found their way around it. You had just cleared level 50, your reward was to establish a link with an anonymous client who offered 5 grand in exchange for a person’s identity. Not that you knew who the client or request was, you had become a bounty-hunter chasing for your next bankroll. You didn’t have time to pick and choose. At the corner of your headset screen, a pop-chat window appeared: “Hello. Please refer to me as Mr. C.”

You replied, “Hi. How may I help you?”

“I’m looking for someone who can track down a person that I’ve been trying to find. The request is to confirm their identity and bring them to me. I will raise the reward if need be.”

You continue, “I need that in writing. May I have this person’s file?”

“I will send it over shortly.”

The chat window expands into a link, a typed document of the request along with a signature. You had been cheated out once, you were sure to not let it happen again. When you enlarge the file, it’s a picture of a boy who was much younger than you. He wore a navy blue sweatshirt, his black hair curled on one side of his forehead. His eyes seemed incredibly innocent, his doe irises complimenting the smile that graced his lips ; the sharpness of his cheekbones accentuating his prepubescent face. His name read, “Mark/ Minhyung Lee.” and was last spotted not far from where you lived. You asked, “Mr. C, why are you looking for a kid?”

“I have no obligation to answer that question. Regardless, are you able to do it? If you can’t succeed, I will have to take measures into my own hands.”

With the amount of money that was being offered, you would be set for a while. Taking the request seemed extremely worth it.

“It’s a deal, Mr. C.”

You pulled up your virtual map with a click of a button, the map expanding into the space of your living room. It showed every alleyway, every nook and cranny in the city. You enlarged the floating map with your fingers, zooming in on a couple blocks away from your apartment. From your room, you grabbed your back-pack and changed into a black body-tight outfit (a skin you won as a reward on level 15), and your hair tied in a loose knot. Dashing out the door, you headed for where this Mark was last seen. You walked around the city, scanning the crowds of people as you walked. The street lamps illuminated the moving sidewalk as people talked into their headset by the cafe windows. Colorful lights blossomed on the tiny windows of the tall buildings. How were you supposed to find such a young kid wandering around by himself? Was Mr. C. his father? Maybe a disgruntled relative? You were unsure. You stopped inside a convenience store, the view of a black-haired boy turned around in one of the aisles. You couldn’t see his face, could that be Mark? The cashier sleepily greeted you, his headset sat crookedly on the rim of his forehead. Making your way to the small boy, you walked in front of him to get a better look- it was not him. He looked up at you confusedly, “hey lady, should I get a chocolate bar or a lollipop?”

Pointing at the chocolate bar you winked, “Chocolate for sure.”

The child walked away from you as he perused through the candy aisle more. You felt a hand grab your wrist from behind to be met with a scruffy man who wore tattered clothes and scratched at his dirtied beard. His eyes bulged with hysteria, “Pretty girl, give me that!”

He pointed at your polished headset, his grimy fingers reaching for it. You stumbled back as your heart beat furiously in your chest, “Sir, I don’t want trouble. Please step back from me.”

The man takes another step towards you instead, his rough hands flying to grip your waist, “Say, what’s your name? Want to come with me?”

You try wrenching out of his grip, you shouted for the cashier’s attention- he’s too busy paying attention to the game to even hear you. The man’s fingers make contact with the skin on your hip which causes you to jolt, you struggle to reach for the knife at the bottom of your backpack.

“Sir, kindly back off!”

The homeless man swivels around, facing a boy about the same age as you. Looking at him, you had not ever witnessed a more attractive boy in a while. His hair was a chestnut color, the crest of it gelled over, his face was slim and defined. Even his lips were the prettiest shade of sakura blossoms, his obsidian eyes stern with fury. He pushed up a pair of version 3 cyber-glasses on the bridge of his nose, “Sir, I said to back off!”

Just like that, the homeless man raised his hands in mock surrender as he scampered out of the convenience store- leaving you staring at the handsome boy in front of you.

You nervously adjust yourself, “Um-I- thank you for that.”

The boy gives you a warm smile, one of his hairs falling onto his forehead, “No need to thank me. That guy was being a total creep. Plus, that cashier should be fired for being distracted.”

You laugh, you catch yourself staring at the abundance of watermelon pops in the boy’s hands. He eyes you and then back to his pops, “Oh, would you like one?”

Stammering over your words you shake your head a bit too wildly, “N-no t-thanks! I-I prefer mango?”

Why did you say mango? You hate mango-flavored things. He gives you a hearty chuckle, “Fair enough, mango’s good too.”

It goes without saying anything, you both pay for the treats as you walk on to the sidewalk, a cold breeze making you shiver. The boy cards his fingers through his hair, the streetlamps casting a golden flow on his highlights, “I guess this is where we part. I hope you don’t run into any more creeps.”

You nod at him, “I sure hope not. By the way, what’s your name?”

There, you feel like you’ve messed up. This stranger saves you from some homeless guy and you ask him for his name, his eyes are widened with surprise. You silently sigh in relief when he breaks into a toothy smile, “Yeah, um, My name’s Jonathan.”

His voice comes out a little hesitant, as if he’s not sure. You eye him, “You sure about that, bud?”

“Of course. I was just deciding whether or not to tell you Jon or Jonathan is all.”

You say, “Well, goodbye Jonathan. Thank you for helping me out today.”

You swerve to walk back down the street in which you came, your headset blinking with the weather forecast in the corner of it. You feel a hand catch your shoulder gently, “Wait-t, d-do y-you think we can exchange handles?”

Turning back to the boy, you certainly weren’t expecting him to say that, “Yeah, sure!”

Together, you calibrate your headsets as a glowing icon appears above his head, “Accept Jonathan as a friend?”

You say, “Accept!”

Jonathan’s name adds to your friends list, not that you had any previous names added anyway. He finishes adding to you as well, your name hot on his tongue as he repeats it daintily. Giving you a final wave, you both go your separate ways. You decide to look for Mark in the morning.

Later that night, you find yourself staring at a message notification from Jonathan. Tapping in the air, you press on it- you bite your lip in anticipation. A bubble appears over his message, “You still up?”

You type on your virtual floating keyboard, “I am, wanna chat?”

Another bubble appears: “proceed with projection communication?”

You look yourself up and down, your outfit only consists of a pair of striped pajamas unlike your black suit earlier. You can’t imagine that Jonathan’s dressed up at this hour. Accepting the bubble, a scan of Jonathan’s virtual body appears in front of you as if he’s sitting in your desk chair. He looks different from earlier, he wears a thin t-shirt that reads ‘Vancouver’, his hair glimmers with wet drops from his shower and he holds an acoustic guitar in his hands. At first he doesn’t realize that you’ve accepted the projection call until he drops his guitar to the ground, fumbling in his chair, “Oh! hi-i, I didn’t see you there for a second..”

You laugh at his silliness, “you were the one who initiated the call in the first place!”

“Still! One second, I need to get something.”

When he finally returns, he holds a bowl of cereal in his hands, spooning sugary flakes into his mouth before toasting the bowl, “Cereal baby!”

“Who eats cereal at this hour?”

“Me- I do!”

You smile at him, leaning back into your pillows, it’s almost too surreal that it feels like Jonathan is staring right back at you from your room. It’s like he’s right there with you.

You continue, “So, what do you like to do in your free-time?”

He looks up from his bowl, “Hm, I uh- I guess I just listen to music or watching Netflix? Something like that?”

“I see you have a guitar by you, do you play well?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I wouldn’t say too good but I do enjoy playing? I write a bit too.”

“Can you play something for me?”

He gives you a playful smirk before breaking into a high-pitched laugh, “Put me on the spot now aren’t we?”

You reply, “You kind of set yourself up by bringing out a guitar. Of course I was going to ask.”

With a heavy sigh, he mumbles, “This is a song that I wrote when I started living on my own.”

You feel your heart swell at the sight of this stranger whispering soft words of song, the strums of his guitar filling the emptiness of your room. When he’s finished, you give him a standing ovation, “What do you mean not too good? You’ve got talent.”

He rubs his eyes tiredly, “Gotta stay humble, you know?”

Your memory plays back to Jonathan’s words: “I started living on my own.”

You tread into unknown waters, “Listen, let me know if this is too personal but when did you start living alone?”

Visibly, his frame becomes stiffened, his lips press into a thin line, “About three years ago? I think?”

He’s the same as you. You continue, “Do you still keep in touch with your parents?”

A flash of pain coats Jonathan’s face, his teeth sink into his lower lip anxiously, “You know-w, I-I think we should call it a night-t?”

You’ve pushed too far. “Oh, yes- sure. Right, good night.”

Like that, Jonathan’s projection disappears from your desk chair, the call ending with a beep. You throw your headset to your nightstand with a clang, throwing your head into your pillow. You doubt that Jonathan wants to talk to you after pressing into his private matters.

When morning comes, your heart jumps at the notification at the top of your messages bar. You click on it, Jonathan’s audio file plays, “Hey-y, I-I’m reallly sorry for uh- I-I kind of left you hanging last night? Can we meet up and talk? Possibly? Let me know when you get this.”

You respond back to him, “Hey, don’t apologize. It was my fault for pushing you where you weren’t comfortable. I’ll forward my address.”

Within the next hour or so, you find Jonathan standing in your doorway as he raises a bag of mango and watermelon pops from the convenience store in his hand. You usher him in, “You got here quite fast..”

He smiles at you, setting the bag on your table, “I’m pretty speedy. Also, you’ve got a nice pad.”

“Oh- yeah, technically it used to be my parents but they well- they passed away.”

His face turns somber, his features darkening with hurt, “I’m sorry for your loss y/n.”

Trying your best, you muster a small smile at him, “It’s okay. Can I get you anything? Water?”

“I-uh- no, I’m good.”

With a heavy sigh, Jonathan plops himself on your couch, his eyes shifting to the vibrant city view outside, “Anyway, I-I just wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly last night.”

Shaking your head, you answer regretfully, “No, it was completely my fault, I should be sorry.” The features on his face turn sharper. He stiffens again, his fists curl beside him on the couch, “I also haven’t been too honest about myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“My name isn’t Jonathan. That’s just an alias- my real name is Mark. Mark Lee.”

You feel your breath hitch in your throat. The boy that your client is after is sitting on your living room couch. How could you not recognize him? Your headset tab has his file bookmarked- he was a child then. Of course, he’s matured.

“Why would you lie about your name?”

Jonathan- now, Mark sighs, “Because, I have to. You asked me about my parents? They were murdered by some gang leaders because they owed them money so we could survive the plague. They did what they had to so we could live. They’re still after me.”

You hand flies to your mouth in shock, “Mark, I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I-”

Mark places a warm hand on yours, “It’s okay- don’t be sorry y/n. Just don’t tell anyone.”

“Not a word, I swear on it.”

Mark picks himself up to move closer to you, your knees almost touching, “When did you start living alone?”

The memories of you watching the doctors send your parents’ bodies to the morgue surface in your mind. You can’t stop the flood that breaks the dam. Digging your nails into your palm, you sniffle, “My parents passed away from the plague on the same day. Like yours, they had to work and go outside for us to survive. I was on the streets a bit before I could make money myself.”

It’s impossible. You can’t stop the tears that stream on your cheeks. You squeeze your eyes shut, “I miss them so much.”You feel a thumb swipe your tears away. You open your eyes to see a blurry vision of Mark’s concerned face, his fringe swept on one side of his forehead, “I’m here, it’s okay. I miss mine too.”

In a split second, you fall into the crook of Mark’s chest, snuggling into his arms. You hear the slow thrum of his heartbeat, the music that beats with his soul. It’s beautiful, the way his doe eyes gaze down at you and the way it feels when you reach up to sweep the hair out of his eyes, “Thank you, Mark.”

He doesn’t say anything, he continues to rub circles on your back comfortingly as he thumbs your hand in his lap. Afterwards, you and Mark decide to eat dinner with Mark in the city. With Mark beside you, everything seems ten times more vibrant. Musicians play on the streets, their instruments laced with colorful threads (bonus items that tune your instrument automatically). Robotic helpers roll around in the restaurants as they pick up tabs, refill waters, and do little things that could be cumbersome for humans. You and Mark sit on the second floor of your favorite ramen restaurant, one that your parents frequented often. Laughing at the way Mark slurped his noodles made you happier. For some odd reason, Mark reminded you of the comfort that your parents had- a warm glow that always brightened the room. He placed his chicken into your bowl, forcing you to eat his no matter how much you protested. When you were done, Mark led you to the third story of the restaurant, a rooftop garden that overlooked the city. The view was breathtaking: the skyline reflected an ocean of colors onto the water as the Brooklyn bridge allowed flying vehicles to soar across the sky. You both sat on the edge of the building, Mark pulling your body closer to his. He rested his head on your shoulder as he hummed some unrecognizable song, the honking of cars is the only thing that disrupts him. Steadily, you brought a hand to the scar on his cheekbone- causing him to raise his head at you. Mark leaned further into your touch, his hair fluttering in the wind slightly, “Can I um, kiss you?”

Smiling, you crash your lips onto yours, his lips feeling plush and soft at first. You move one hand to entwine Mark’s hairs in between your fingers, causing him to let out a moan. Your kiss grows more passionate as you part your mouth for him to move his tongue, your body temperatures rise- an alert pops on to your headsets. Ignoring it, Mark leans further into your lips while you arch your back on the roof. He pushes you flat against the concrete, his lips detach from yours with a sound. When you look at him, Mark’s half lidded eyes and swollen lips pop from the colorful netted sky that hangs above him, you say, “Wow, you’re good Mark Lee.”

He laughs into your shoulder, his giggle full of mirth. You don’t resist when he presses a kiss to your lips for the second time, you take harder control than he does. You roll onto your side so you can climb on top of him instead. Mark reaches up to place a hair behind your ear before you lean in to press a kiss to his nose. His eyes glimmer with adoration, “y/n, the things you’re doing to me right now-”

Mark starts to press a burning kiss to the hollow of your neck, you pause when a notification flashes on your messages bar. You open it, it’s from Mr. C. It reads, “Y/n. I’m afraid you’re out of time.” You scramble off of Mark, causing him to yelp, “Oh god, y/n, I-I’m so sorry, I- did- I go too far? I shouldn’t have done that- oh my-”

You press your hand to Mark’s lips, “It’s not you. I have to tell you something, it’s-”

“What? What’s wrong?”

You both sit up, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you earlier I just forgot about it because we were talking and I-I just don’t-”

Mark’s expression turns firm, “What is it?”

“I just passed level 50 in-game. I got a request from a client and he told me he was after you and I took it because I thought I needed the money and now that I know you’re the person he wants, I don’t know what to do-he says we’re out of time!”

Mark looks down, his face morphing into slow pain, “Did you have that request since we met?”

You shout at him, “Yes! But, I was never going to sell you out, I swear! I started to like you and I wouldn’t have done that!”

Marks still casts his eyes down, “Y/n, I have to go right now- I can’t be outside-”

“You’re too late!”

You and Mark swivel your heads to see a skinny man dressed in a plaid suit hop off his emerald hoverboard, a pistol sits in the grip of his hand, “I’ve got you now Mark Lee! And y/n has led me straight to you!”

Mark practically leaps across you, forcing you to move behind him, “Just stay behind me.”

You place your hands on Mark’s shoulders, gripping him tightly. The man- Mr. C. looks hysterical when he flashes Mark a sinister grin, “Your parents still haven’t paid their debt. You’ll serve as compensation.”

He aims his gold-lined pistol at Mark, cackling before he sends a smoking bullet flying to Mark’s chest without a warning. You scream, Mark falling on his side as he clutches his wound. Mr. C. spits in your direction before zipping off on his hoverboard, leaving you to press your hands to Mark’s body. Already, your hands are covered in crimson blood, you smell the iron scent of it and it makes you sick. You don’t even realize that you’re screaming now, “Hold on! I’m going to get you to a hospital okay? Hold on!”

Mark lets out a weak cough, his eyes failing to stay open. You cradle his head, “Mark? Mark, stay awake! Stay with me, please!”

Once more, he reaches up a bloodied palm to your cheek, your tears falling onto his shirt, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

You whimper, “It’s not okay! Don’t leave me! I’ll be alone again!”

The hot tears blur your vision, it’s getting harder to not collapse. You see Mark smile at you, “you know, you’re the only person that’s made me feel less lonely since my parents died.”

Clutching his hand, you feel the calloused skin along his palm, wanting to savor every bit of him, “Mark, I’ve fallen for you.”

Nodding, “And I, you.”

With the last bit of strength he has, Mark kisses you with scarlet fire before letting out a bone-chilling groan. His lips fall away from yours, his body landing on the roof with a thump. You hold your breath, your head pounds with harsh pain. You can’t believe the sight of Mark’s once musical spirit so bereft of life. Finally, your breath hitches at a notification that appears in your message inbox at the top of your virtual screen, “hello, y/n.”

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three-drink-amy · 5 years

Text

Sweet Creature

Bonus chapter for the week! I’m finished writing the story, so I MAY change posting to twice a week if people were interested. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

master list - AO3

Chapter Thirteen

No one ever said that being in a long distance relationship was easy. It made it even less easy when said relationship is less than a month old. Jamie realized that it helped that they’d known each other for ten years. If they were a new couple, and completely new to each other, they’d be a mess trying to attempt long distance for an undetermined amount of time. But having their friendship to fall back on certainly had its perks.

They’d been doing well so far. It was only a couple of weeks in and they’d talked nearly every night. Claire had a lot to tell about the progress on the new store and Jamie was always eager to hear it. He may not be an official investor anymore, but he’d always been emotionally invested. There had been plenty of nights in the last two weeks that he’d skipped out on plans with other people because he thought there was a chance Claire would call him. And most nights, that’s what happened.

But even getting to talk to her that often, he couldn’t deny that he still missed her. It had only been a bit over a month that they’d been talking again. Even though they’d talked things out and now were onto a different phase of life together, he couldn’t help but worry that one day she’d just stop calling. Because of that, he probably always sounded too eager for her calls. He’d text her each evening when he was back from the office to let her know when he was free to talk. Maybe he was making himself too available, but he didn’t care. He needed Claire in his life. And that was just the way it had to work at the moment.

He was sitting in his office, counting down the minutes until he could leave and call Claire. It had been a rough day and he just needed to hear her voice. He texted her before he even left, trying to get a feel for how busy she was that day.

I’ll be working late. Sorry! I’ll call you when I’m walking back to my hotel. Chin up!

Jamie sighed, leaning back in his chair. He should be trying to look like he was busy, but he didn’t care enough to do so. John walked in and threw himself down in one of his chairs. “So I think everyone’s planning to go get drinks after this. You in?”

He looked down at his phone and reread the text from Claire. “Yeah,” he said with a grimace. “A stiff drink sounds good after today.”

John shook his head with a dark look. “I was thinking we could all get drunk and plan on how to properly assassinate St. Germain. Thoughts?”

Jamie grinned. “I canna see how that could go wrong.” John laughed, standing up to go back to his desk. “I’ll see ye in a few.”

There was a rather large group of his coworkers that ended up going out for drinks that evening. The raucous group sat at a small bar downing whisky like it was water. They were commiserating their shared terrible day before they went around each picking a different aspect of their boss to drag through the mud. It was just one of those days. But each drink somehow made Jamie miss Claire more. John sat next to him and caught on to how many times Jamie had been checking his phone.

“Waiting to hear from Claire?” John asked. He’d not so secretly been excited for Jamie’s new relationship. Jamie nodded, taking another drink. “I’m sure she’ll call. You said she always does.”

“She does. I just miss her,” Jamie groaned as he ran a hand down his face.

“That’s so cute,” John said. He flashed his friend a teasing look. “You’re just head over heels for her, aren’t you?” Jamie rolled his eyes. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” John leaned in closer. “And between you and me, I have to say that she’s the best one you’ve ever dated.”

Jamie smiled, nodding in agreement. “Ye dinna have to tell me that.”

They carried on drinking and eventually, it was John’s turn to get the next round. He vacated his spot next to Jamie. It was quickly filled by the last person Jamie wanted to talk to. He glanced over to see Annalise sitting next to him. Angling himself away, he turned to talk to the person on the other side of him. He hoped John would come and reclaim his seat. How the woman had never gotten the hint was beyond him. She tapped him on the shoulder and he rolled his eyes as he looked over at her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, batting her eyelashes. He wondered how on earth he ever found her alluring. That had evaporated so fast.

“Just felt like chatting wi’ Marcus,” Jamie said with a gesture to the man on his left. He turned back but she tapped his shoulder again.

“You seem more down than everyone else here,” she pointed out.

“Aye, perhaps so,” he agreed. “I was just wishing my girlfriend could be here.”

Anger flashed in her eyes before she covered it up with a smile. “Well that’s her loss,” she said, her hand resting on his shoulder.

He scowled at her, shrugging off her hand before he walked over to the bar where John was standing. John grinned as he watched him approach. “I canna stand her,” Jamie said with a sigh.

“Sure, none of us can,” John agreed. “But to be fair, you did make that mess yourself.” Jamie glared at him. “I wanted to tell you she’d be nothing but trouble.”

“I wish ye had.”

“Are you telling me that no one tried to tell you that you were going down the wrong path?” John asked, one eyebrow raised.

“No, one person did,” Jamie admitted.

“Claire?”

“Yep.”

John burst out laughing. “Leave it to her to tell it to you straight only to have you make a pretty terrible mistake and have it ruin your work life.” He glanced back at Annalise. “I could have told you she’d be nothing but boring once you took the chase away.”

“I should ha’ known it on my own. She was just distracting in a way I hadna been in a while, so I thought that was something bigger,” Jamie confessed. “Twas wrong of me.”

“We all make mistakes, mate.”

Jamie sighed. “Ye dinna have to tell me that. Somehow I still feel like I’m paying for my last and biggest mistake.”

“What, the thing with Claire?” John asked. “Why do you think that? The two of you are literally dating now.”

“I dinna ken. I canna explain it,” Jamie replied, his face a bit crumpled.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“Of course no’. We’re living in different cities presently. Tis hard to talk about those types of things over the phone. It’s probably just all in my head anyway. I think I’m just scared to lose her again. It was hard to be wi’out her before I confessed how I was feeling. Now...well I dinna think I could handle that,” Jamie said in a small voice.

John stared at him for a moment. “That kind of sounds like something you should talk about with your girlfriend. Don’t you think?”

“Maybe. I was thinking of going to Edinburgh and surprising her soon. I just dinna ken how busy she’d be on a weekend.”

“Well it’s not like you’re completely unhelpful,” John replied with a grin. “I’m sure you could help out if she had things to do.”

Jamie nodded thoughtfully. “That’s a fair point. I could.”

“Yeah, and then you could talk to your girlfriend about how much you love her and need her in your life.” Jamie shot him a look. “Communication is healthy, James.”

“Ye sound like my sister.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jamie raised a brow, encouraging him to continue. “When did you realize you loved her that way? Was it when you two weren’t speaking?”

Jamie took a drink of his whisky. He’d never even really told Claire about that. “I suppose I realized what it all meant when she wouldna talk to me. I always felt this odd possessiveness of her and was verra critical of anyone interested in her. She was always the standard that I judged the lasses I dated by, but I never took the time to think about why that might be. I dinna ken, but I’m sure if I sat down and really thought about it, I’d find that it has been a lot longer than just the last couple of months. I wish I’d slowed down and tried to think through what I was really feeling. Maybe then we wouldna be mere weeks into a relationship when she had to go to Edinburgh.” Jamie sighed, staring down at his glass. “I just truly had no idea that she felt that way for me.”

“You didn’t?”

Jamie glanced over at his friend. “Did ye think she did?”

John shook his head. “No, but I met her after years of you two being friends. I always just thought you were really close.”

“I guess I just never thought she’d want me,” Jamie admitted. “And so I never allowed myself to think about it. Just looked to other women instead of the one right next to me the whole time. I suppose I should have known by the fact that I was willing to bankroll her business.”

“That’s not really something you do for just a friend,” John agreed. “But you’re together now, right?”

Jamie nodded, still feeling a bit on edge. “Aye. We are.”

He felt his pocket vibrate and his face lit up as he pulled his phone out. Claire’s picture smiled up at him and he fumbled to answer. “Sassenach!”

“Hi, there! Not too late is it?”

“No’ at all!” He looked over at John, pointing to his phone. “I’ll see ye later, mate.”

“Bye,” John whispered.

“It sounds like you’re somewhere loud,” Claire said. “Where are you?”

Jamie paid his tab quickly. “Rough day at the office today, so a large group of us took over a pub nearby to drink our sorrows away,” Jamie explained as he finished paying.

“Well, I can just talk to you tomorrow,” Claire offered.

“No!” Jamie replied. “No, I’d much rather talk to ye. I just paid my tab and everything.” He walked out onto the quieter street, hoping he could hear her better. “So, how is the bakery going?”

On the other end, Claire was smiling at his quick dismissal of her offer to hang up. “It’s going well. Things are all coming together in a pretty way. It’s been a while since I did this part, you know.”

“Aye. But this is yer third time. Ye’re basically a pro by now,” Jamie insisted.

Claire laughed. “Well I don’t know about that.” She took a drink of water as she laid on the couch in her hotel room. “So, what was so bad about work today?”

Jamie groaned. “St. Germain was on one. He...hold on,” he cut himself off. Claire could hear something in the background. She narrowed her eyes as she tried to listen in closer.

Jamie heard his name being called and turned around on the sidewalk to see Annalise tearing after him. “You forgot your jacket!” she said as she caught up to him.

He grabbed it from her quickly. “Thanks.” Turning back to the way he was walking, he started talking to Claire again. A hand on his arm made him turn around again. Annalise was looking at him expectantly. “Can I help ye?”

“You just left so quickly. You didn’t even say goodbye,” she said, a flirtatious look on her face.

He pointed at his phone. “I’m on a call.”

“What’s going on?” Claire asked in one ear.

“You could always hang up and call back later,” Annalise suggested, trying to pull him back to the bar.

“Claire, hold on,” Jamie said into the phone. He held it to his shoulder as he turned to Annalise. “Just go on back to the bar. Or go home. But leave me alone, woman. I thought I’d made it perfectly clear that I’m no’ interested.”

Despite Jamie’s attempts to muffle his side of the call, Claire could still hear it.

“Twas one date, months ago. I think ye should realize that I’ve moved on. Perhaps ye should as well. Find someone else to play yer games because it willna be me anymore. Aye?”

He walked away before Annalise could reply. Putting the phone back to his ear, he sighed. “Sorry about that, what were we talking about?”

“Your work,” Claire reminded him.

“Ah, that’s right. St. Germain spent most of the afternoon tearing all of us to bits. So, some drinking was required after the evening,” Jamie explained. “I only agreed to go since ye said ye were working late.”

He continued on but Claire had spaced out a bit. She chimed in here and there when necessary, but wasn’t entirely present for the conversation. Long distance was hard for her, especially when all she wanted was the reassurance of Jamie’s arms around her. But right now, he was closer to the woman who was still trying to sink her claws into him. They talked for a while before Claire begged off, saying she had to get up early in the morning. Jamie understood and bid her goodnight, saying he hoped they’d have a chance to talk tomorrow. She muttered an agreement before hanging up the call. It wasn’t a total lie; she did have to get up in the morning. But sleep didn’t come easily to her. She couldn’t help but continuously picture her worst nightmare over and over.

The next day when Jamie texted to see if she was free, she lied.

* * *

Nine days and a lot of missed opportunities to talk to Claire later, Jamie was sitting at a bar with Joe. “I’m glad ye could meet me,” Jamie said, raising his glass slightly. “Been a bit lonely,” he added with a laugh. “So, how’s wedding planning going?”

Joe shook his head with a sigh. “You mean when Gayle actually asks me what I want for my wedding?”

Jamie laughed. “Have ye fought her on anything?”

“Not a damn thing,” Joe confessed. “Honestly, I haven’t cared. I just want her to want to include me. But things are slowing down significantly now.”

Jamie’s brow furrowed. “Why’s that?”

“Well we set a date,” Joe told him. Jamie looked excited for them. “It’s in nineteen months.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Joe nodded, his lips forming a tight line. “Gayle found this castle and absolutely had to have the wedding there. I want her to have the wedding she wants, so I said sure. But the earliest they had, which was already a cancellation, was nineteen months from now.”

“That’s almost two years,” Jamie pointed out.

“Yeah, I know. I wish I had a better “Castle Guy.” But I didn’t look into one of those when I moved here,” Joe joked.

“Are ye okay wi’ that long an engagement?” Jamie asked hesitantly.

“Sure. I mean, in a lot of different ways, it already feels like we’re married. We’ve lived together since I moved to Scotland for medical school. We just decided a while back that we wouldn’t look at getting married until we were both established in our careers,” Joe said with a shrug. “So I feel pretty good about it. And if Gayle gets her dream venue, then that’s all the better. I know she can’t wait to invite people from the States to her wedding in a damn castle.”

Jamie laughed, taking a drink of his beer. “Canna beat that.”

“I guess I can tell Claire that she can slow down on her plans for my Stag Party,” Joe mused with an amused shake of his head. “Girl was saying just last night how she had such great ideas for it, no matter how many times I told her she doesn’t have to plan it.”

Joe was laughing but Jamie was fixated on what Joe had said. He cleared his throat. “Ye talked to Claire last night?”

The other man froze as he was about to put a pretzel in his mouth. “Yes.”

“Gotcha,” Jamie replied shortly. He picked up his beer and took a long drink. “If she talked to ye, I wonder why she texted me and said she was going to bed early and wouldna have any time to talk.”

Joe closed his eyes in a grimace. “So, how are you guys doing?”

Jamie shook his head. “I thought we were doing fine. Claire’s been plenty busy, but apparently, no’ as busy as she’s let on.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I just miss her and long distance is terrible. And there’s no definitive time that it’ll be over. But I thought we were good. I guess no’ if she’s dodging my calls.”

Joe sighed. “I’m sorry I said anything. I didn’t realize.”

“Dinna worry about it. I was thinking about going to Edinburgh to surprise her,” Jamie mentioned.

An odd look came over Joe’s face. “You might want to do that. I think that would be a good idea.”

Jamie picked up on his tone and narrowed his eyes at the other man. “What do ye ken that I dinna?”

“Nothing!” Joe exclaimed with an unconvincing shrug. Jamie stared at him until he caved. “Look, she just said something to me yesterday.”

“What did she say?” Jamie asked, leaning across the table.

“Just that she...had some doubts,” Joe explained, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

“Doubts?” Jamie cried. “What doubts? About our relationship?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t explain. It was said one time and when I tried to press her on it, she clammed up and said that she shouldn’t have mentioned it,” Joe told him. “But whatever it is, that might be why she’s been weird about taking your calls.”

Jamie sighed, his head hanging in his hands. “I’m racking my brain right now trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong.”

“There’s no guarantee it’s you,” Joe reminded him. “She didn’t say what it was.”

“But it was about our relationship?”

Joe’s face scrunched as he nodded. “I guess. Maybe.”

Jamie shook his head, feeling helpless. “If I go to Edinburgh, am I going to be broken up with?”

“No!” Joe said emphatically. “No, that would be silly.” He looked at Jamie with a pointed expression. “I think you should go and spend some time together. I think it would be good for the both of you.”

Jamie released a large sigh. “Maybe so.”

* * *

Friday night came and Claire was relieved to have the weekend to relax. She walked into her hotel room and threw her bag down on the floor before laying down on the couch. It felt good to just stop moving for a bit. Feeling her phone in her back pocket, Claire dug it out and looked at it. Her lockscreen was a picture of her and Jamie. She stared at his face for a long time, pressing the button again each time it went dark. Finally, she felt the urge to return all his missed calls from the last week or so. Even though she felt guilty, she didn’t know how to call him when she was as nervous about their relationship as she was. Given how well he knew her, she knew he’d pick up on her hesitance. So, instead, she just didn’t call him. She’d texted him a few times throughout the days, though they were mostly replies to his messages.

But this time, her need to hear his voice drowned out her fears. She called him, getting antsy as the line started ringing.

“Hello?”

“Jamie!” she cried. “God, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“Sassenach, how are ye?” he asked. Something seemed off about his voice, but she thought maybe he’d just had a long day.

“Doing alright. I just got home from the bakery. Well, not home home. I got back to my hotel,” she said. A horn honked on his end of the call. “Where are you?”

“Walking home from work,” he said. “How’s the bakery coming?”

“It’s good. I miss you, though.” She wished she could see his face.

“Aye, I do too,” he agreed, a sad tone to his voice. “Out of curiosity, if I were to send ye something, what is yer room number?”

Claire smiled to herself. “What are you sending me?”

“Room number, woman!” he repeated, his voice a bit lighter.

She laughed. “It’s 743.”

“Aye, thank ye. Tell me more about how everything’s coming,” he pressed.

“Going well. We’ve hired a staff though they won’t officially start for a bit yet. We’re still in the construction stage. But I’m trying to work ahead and have everything that we need ready for when I need to start with the staff training.” She continued on, only stopping when there was a knock at her door. “Hold on. Someone’s at the door.”

Claire jumped up, surprised beyond belief when it was Jamie on the other side of the door. “Oh my god, you’re here?” He grinned as he nodded in reply. She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around him. Drawing him in over the threshold, she hugged him tightly. A thump against the floor drew her back as he tossed his bag just inside the door. “God, I’ve missed you,” she said, cupping his cheeks. “It’s so bloody good to see you.”

Jamie nodded, quieter than usual. “Aye, and ye.”

“What made you decide to come?”

An odd look crossed his face. “Well, I’d been thinking of it for a bit. I missed ye. But I ken ye’ve been verra busy, so I wasna sure when the right time would be.” He walked further into the room. “I had drinks wi’ Joe the other night and he seemed to think it was a good idea. Especially after something you’d said to him the night before.” He turned and looked at her, a strained expression coloring his face. “Which I believe was one of the nights ye told me ye couldna talk because ye were going to bed so early. Which was actually just one time in a string of instances where ye couldna call. But apparently, ye can talk to Joe.”

Claire closed her eyes, grimacing. “Jamie,” she started.

He kept going. “Joe seemed to think ye were having doubts,” he added, staring her down, daring her to agree. She opened and closed her mouth, no sound coming out. “I thought it was odd to hear it from him. Ye see, I figured when ye and I got together, it would be perfect because we already tell each other everything. But I suppose that’s no’ true.”

Her arms came around her torso, trying to hold in her emotions. “Jamie, it’s nothing, really.”

“Joe didna seem to think so.” He took a small step closer to her. “What is it? Is it me?”

Claire had really hoped she’d get over her doubts on her own before she ever had to talk to Jamie about them. And as she stared at the pain plain on his face, she wished she’d never said anything to Joe. “No, it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.” In reality, she didn’t know how to articulate it to him.

“I’d think ye’d be able to talk to me. We’ve been friends for ten years, Claire,” Jamie reminded her.

“Yeah, that’s the problem!” she cried.

Jamie recoiled, looking stunned. “What?”

She shook her head, wishing she’d gone about this differently. “Yes, we have been friends for ten years which means that I have watched a number of your relationships from the sidelines. And all I could think about was how each of them ended so quickly. Then, I just...I couldn’t help but wonder when our expiration date would be.”

“Wow,” Jamie breathed. He seemed a bit deflated. “What, ye seriously thought I’d just ditch ye? Call it quits? And then what, just walk away from ye?”

“I don’t know,” she answered timidly. “I just couldn’t see how I was any different from any of them.”

Jamie gaped at her. “Of course ye’re different!”

“How?”

“Because I love ye!” he yelled. He took a step back, running a hand down his face. Claire stared at him, shocked by his admission. He seemed almost as surprised. “Do ye really think I’d just leave? It’s you, Claire. Ye’re my best friend.”

“Jamie, I -”

“I spent the last couple of days trying to imagine what it was that was giving ye doubts. I didn’t realize I’d be answering for my past,” he said, looking anywhere but at her. “I mean, is that what ye really think of me?”

She could feel tears stinging her eyes as she shook her head.

“But it is though, isn’t it? I mean, ye believed me to be the type of man who would bring ye to a party solely to make another woman jealous. Ye thought I only wanted to bring ye breakfast the morning after our first date to — how did ye put it — rack up enough dates to reach a proper number to get in yer pants. And now this. Ye really think I’m just going to give up and leave after a certain amount of time?” Jamie stared at her, his hurt showing. “If that’s the man ye truly think I am, how have we even been friends all this time?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Those relationships were short because I could tell soon enough into them that they werena right for me. Would it no’ have been worse to string them along and lead them on?”

Claire stood there silently, tears starting to fall.

Jamie shook his head and took a step toward the door. “I should go.”

She jumped in front of the door before he could make it there. “No!” she said, standing her ground. “Look, Jamie, I’m sorry. I handled this the wrong way. I should have talked to you. But I just —” she took a deep breath “— I just got scared. Okay? After ten years we’re at this new phase of our relationship and it’s exciting. But I didn’t know how you really felt. And I’ve been sitting with these feelings a lot longer than you have.”

Jamie let out a breath. “That’s no’ fair. Ye canna put that on me. Ye never told me how ye felt.”

Claire scoffed. “Yeah, like it would have made any difference.”

He shook his head, throwing his arms out. “Of course it would have! It would have made all the difference in the world!” He gaped at her. “Do ye really think I would have been wi’ any of them if I knew I could have been wi’ ye?” he asked, his voice dramatically lower.

She had no response. They were on opposite sides of the room, with more than just space standing between them. Tears were falling down her face in earnest. They were glistening in his eyes as well. She hated the way she’d hurt him with her own avoidance.

Eventually, it was as if he lost all energy. He collapsed on the couch, a sigh escaping him. “What can I do?”

“What?”

He looked up at her. “What can I do to prove to ye that I’m no’ going anywhere?”

Her heart broke at the vulnerable look on his face. He was terrified and she could see it. She shook her head vehemently. “Jamie, there’s nothing.”

“So, ye’re telling me that ye’re having doubts about me but there’s no’ a thing I can do to fix it?”

Claire bridged the gap between them, sitting down next to him on the couch. “Jamie, I mean there’s nothing you have to do. This is my issue.”

“Tis no’ just yers, Claire,” he reminded her. “Ye stopped talking to me because of this. That’s no’ just yers anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, reaching up to wipe away her tears. “Believe me, I am.”

He wasn’t looking at her. “Aye, I ken ye are.” They sat in a heavy silence for a long moment. His head turned slightly toward her, still not meeting her gaze. “I meant it though, what can I do?”

“There’s nothing you have to do,” she repeated. He looked over, an almost angry expression on his face. “Being here — coming to see me because you missed me — that’s enough. I promise.”

He nodded, looking down at his clasped hands. “How long have ye felt this way?” He finally glanced over at her, making eye contact. “It was before ye came here, wasn’t it?”

Claire cleared her throat. “Just a bit. It got worse with separation.”

“It was that night in my flat, wasn’t it?” he asked.

She shook her head in disbelief. “How did you -”

“Ye panicked. Ye froze,” he recalled. “And then ye asked to take things slower. And trust me, I was more than fine wi’ that. I could tell something bothered ye, but ye wouldna say what it was. I was terrified that I did something to upset ye.”

Claire bridged the final gap between them, reaching out and putting her hand on his arm. “Jamie, you did nothing. I got up in my head at the exact wrong time. I just knew that if...if we crossed that final line, and then you left, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

His hand moved to cover hers as he nodded. A long silence filled the room. Claire gripped his arm before she started to speak again. “I love you,” she whispered. He turned to her, a soft and vulnerable look on his face. “That’s why I got so scared. Because I love you. And I’ve felt this way for a long time, but this is only the first time I’ve actually said it out loud.” She laughed to herself. “Well, technically second, but you were unconscious the first time after your accident.”

Claire took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for hurting you so much. It kills me. I guess I got used to talking about my feelings with Joe and keeping it all a secret from you.” Jamie chuckled before she reached out and laid her hand on his cheek. “But I promise you that I won’t do that again. I mean, I may talk to Joe, but no more secret feelings. I promise you that if I start to get nervous again, you’ll be the person I go to.”

Jamie leaned his forehead against hers. “I would appreciate that. But just know, I’m no’ going anywhere.” His fingers tapped against her hand that still rested on his arm. “I love ye, too,” he whispered. He pulled back a bit to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry for yelling it at ye the first time I ever said it.”

Claire laughed, despite all that had happened. She leaned closer, letting him close the distance between them. Much to her relief, he did so quickly, pressing his lips to hers. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck as she scooted closer to him. His hand held her cheek, keeping her there. Weeks of long distance woes and the fight they’d had weighed into the kiss, making both of them a bit desperate. He parted his lips, granting her access which she happily accepted. Her fingers wove through his hair. They moved closer and closer together til her legs were draped over his.

She broke away from him with a look as she reached for the hem of her shirt. To her surprise, Jamie reached out to stop her. “Claire, no.” Before she could feel embarrassed, he continued. “No’ like this,” he whispered. “No’ because ye feel guilty.”

“What if that’s not why?” she asked. “What if I’m just ready?”

“I’m no’ ready right now,” he told her, flashing her pleading eyes. “I feel I’d always second guess it. Whether ye were actually ready or whether ye felt it was the best way to apologize for what happened. And that’s no’ how I want it to be for us.”

She let go of her shirt, leaning back into him and giving him a quick kiss. “I suppose that makes a lot of sense. Damn you.” He grinned, kissing her again quickly. “So, what do you propose we do instead? Dinner?”

He nodded thoughtfully. “That sounds good. Or perhaps — if ye wanted to, of course — ye could show me the bakery.”

One of her hands came to rest on his cheek. “You really want to see it?”

His hand held hers. “Of course I do.”

She smiled broadly, giving him one last kiss. “Well then, let’s go.”

Her hand held his the entire journey to the bakery site. He didn’t mind at all. It had been too long since he’d been afforded such a luxury. She chattered away about what to expect and what stage of development the store was in. Their pace slowed as they got closer to the store. Claire dug out her keys and let them into the dark building.

She walked around and turned on the construction lamps that were scattered throughout the store. As more and more lights turned on, Jamie stood in awe of the store before him. Familiar colors greeted him as he turned to look around. “How does this look so much like the original shop?”

Claire smiled, walking back over and tucking herself back into his side. “You caught that, did you?”

“Would be hard not to.”

She nodded thoughtfully, looking around. “Well, I found the original plans for the store and gave them to the people in charge here. They seemed to think it was doable. So, here we are. It’s still got a long way to go, but -”

“It looks great,” Jamie said on a breath. “Truly.”

Claire looked up at him. “You think so?”

Jamie kissed her temple. “I really do. It’s like I’m standing back in Glasgow.” He laughed to himself. “Actually, it feels like it’s six years ago. Like ye’re showing me the shop for the first time.”

She smiled to herself. “You were the only one I’d let see it.”

“Well, that was surely just because of the money.”

Claire shook her head, leaving a kiss at his jaw. “No, it wasn’t.”

Jamie curled her in closer, kissing her head. “It looks great. All yer hard work has really been paying off.”

“Thank you,” she sighed. “I mean the hardest part is really the training, so we’ll see.”

“It’ll work. Ye’re too brilliant for it no’ to,” Jamie assured her.

“You’re biased.”

He laughed, turning to face her. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her hard on the mouth. “I’m no such thing.”

She showed him around the bakery as much as they could with minimal lighting. Soon, they shut off all the lights and went to find a place to eat. Neither of them felt very picky so they found a place quickly. A couple of hours were spent enjoying drinks, dinner, and the other’s company. Jamie’s hand rarely left Claire’s. They sat as close to each other as their table allowed, both just glad to be together.

It was a beautiful evening as they walked back to Claire’s hotel, his arm around her shoulders, her arm around his waist. As they entered the lobby of the hotel, they immediately walked toward the elevator. Jamie stopped, turning back toward the desk. Claire gave him a confused look. “I need to check into my room.”

Her brow furrowed. “You got a room?”

Jamie took a step closer to her. “Well, I didna want to be presumptuous.”

She smiled, leaning up to kiss him quickly. “It wouldn’t be that presumptuous. You were coming to visit your girlfriend.”

“Still.”

Claire rolled her eyes with a grin. “You don’t need that room. Wait here.” She ignored him as he asked her what she was going to do. Claire walked up to the front desk and plastered on her best smile. “Hi,” she said, grabbing the woman’s attention. “I had a friend that was coming to visit me, but at the last minute it fell through. He asked if I could cancel his room for him.”

“Of course, ma’am. What was the name?”

“James Fraser.”

The woman typed away at the computer before looking up to Claire with a smile. “All taken care of. Anything else I can help ye wi’?”

“Not a thing. Thank you!” Claire replied, matching the woman’s smile. As Claire walked back to Jamie, her smile became more smug. “All taken care of,” she parroted. Jamie rolled his eyes at her as he draped his arm back around her. “Got a second room,” she muttered to herself, elbowing him in the side. “We’ve shared a room before.”

“That was verra different, Sassenach,” Jamie defended.

Claire curled into Jamie’s side, scoffing. “We’re two mature adults. I think we can share a bed.”

Next chapter

#outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #my writing #sweet creature

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