#looking at this post i sound like a redneck | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jksprincess10 · 1 year

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Howdy hey, i couldnt ask this from my writing blog (cuz its not my main) so im asking anonymously!

Also omg before my request i hope your power comes back :((( mine was out for a while too.

Could i please request a joel miller x f!reader where the reader lovingly calls joel cowboy? Maybe it be influenced on the song “Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy” where the reader gets joel out of a dangerous situation and puts her life over his, he gets slightly pissed off because he is protective so she tries to make it up to him. maybe some overstimulation for the reader to where she makes a big mess 🤭🤭🤭

Oh my god, this made me feral !!! Thank you for your request, I hope it's everything you asked for.

Save your cowboy

CW: Oral (f and m receiving), fingering, deep throat, violence, swearing.

“So, you’re from Texas? Were you a cowboy?”

“Yes. And no.”

Joel always responded in the shortest sentences possible. And you, you liked playing games with him while you were on watch duty around Jackson. On long nights where nothing dangerous was going on, it was distracting. And he liked it, you could sometimes see the hint of a smile. He liked you.

“But, do you know the song Save a horse, ride a cowboy? Surely, you do. It’s the only… how do you say… redneck song I know.”

He sighed.

“Do you ever shut up? And we say country music. Not redneck music.”

“Not really. Sorry, cowboy.”

He scoffed. It was so cold, you could see his breathing.

It had started like that: innocently and affectionately calling him cowboy while he was holding the reins of the horses you were both riding, while you were watching over him with your gun in hand.

That night was particularly harsh. A blizzard had taken over the city, even the strong mountains seemed agitated with the wind like they were made of cardboard. Snow and frozen ice were hitting harshly your red faces. You were on feet this time; no horse could support this kind of temperature.

“I suggest we go over to the nearest camp, and we take watch from there.”

“Whatever you say, cowboy.”

You had to shout to hear yourselves over the wind. He held your arm so he wouldn’t lose you as you walked through the snow. You liked feeling his hand on you. He rarely touched you. He rarely even looked at you.

You were always on guard, and posted on Joel’s right, knowing that he was practically deaf in this ear. That’s when you heard shouting in your direction. Who was crazy enough to get out tonight?

“Get down!” Under the adrenaline, you pulled him under your weight, your chest on his back as he was buried in the snow. You shot towards the noise, before getting up slowly, waiting for the response of a gun.

“What the fuck are you-”

“Shut the fuck up, Joel.” You grunted.

You could barely see through the blizzard. Two silhouettes were approaching dangerously. The familiar hissing sound of a bullet. The pain that shot through your left arm. You shot in response, killing one of the raiders, and Joel took care of the other when he got up.

You didn’t talk about what just had happened, you ran to the established hunting camp of the community and barricaded the door behind you. When the adrenaline left your body, you sat on the couch and grunted in pain.

Joel got started on a fire while you took off layers to address the wound. Luckily, no sign of the bullet. But it had grazed you enough to leave a dirty wound that was bleeding profusely.

When your watch partner turned to look at you, you saw the anger darkening his gaze.

“What the fuck were you thinking, girl?!”

“Well, I’m sorry for saving your fucking life, cowboy. I’ll let you die next time, deal?”

He didn’t respond. He simply went to the restroom where medical equipment was hidden. Even the thumping of his boots sounded angry.

When he came back, he kneeled in front of you.

“Le’me see.”

You couldn’t look at him as you put your arm towards him. He disinfected the wound, you pressed your lips together at the stinging sensation. At least, it distracted you from Joel’s hands that were still cold from being outside for so long.

“I should protect you. Not the other way around.”

“Well that sounds pretty fucking sexist of you, redneck cowboy.”

He tied a bandage around your arm and got back up, ignoring your comment.

“We’re both equals, Miller. We’re doing the same job.” You insisted. “I’m not your sweet pretty thing to protect just because you’re older and stronger.” You said in a mocking voice.

“Look.” He said sternly, holding your gaze. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I did a shitty job, I’m sorry.”

You nodded, a bit stunned to hear a “sorry” from Joel Miller.

“I’m sorry, I put us two in danger by shooting.” You finally said a you got up, stretching your arm. “I’ll… I’ll make it up to you.”

He looked down at you, for a long time. You were having a staring contest, trying to see who would flinch first under the pressure. Of course, you flinched first. You fisted his suede coat, bringing him closer as you crashed your lips against his. Your stance didn’t show any surprise, like he was waiting for this. He put his arms around you, holding you close as your tongues fought for dominance. It was messy and desperate, teeth clashing together, your noses hitting, saliva glistening on each other’s faces.

You took off his coat, the heavy material falling to the ground. His big hands pressed on your shoulders. “Make it up to me.” He whispered, and you dropped down to your knees.

Your cold fingers undid clumsily his belt, and you pulled off his jeans and briefs in one swipe. His member sprung free in front of your eyes, and you tried to hide any reaction. You opened your mouth, slowly taking him in, your fingers grabbing what you couldn’t reach. Joel held onto your hair, murmuring soft praises as you were slowly taking all of him in.

You sucked in your cheeks to make him feel every surface of your mouth. He groaned, and you wanted to smile if your mouth wasn’t full. He held your head in place, fingers tangled in your hair as he fucked your mouth, slowly at first, letting you get used to his girth. When you were more relaxed, he started thrusting harshly in your throat. You concentrated on your breathing while he used you. Joel didn’t make many sounds except the occasional grunt, until a guttural groan escaped his lips as he spilled his released inside of your mouth. You swallowed gladly.

“Let me thank you for saving me.” Joel said as he pulled you up, leaving a chaste kiss to your plush lips.

“Do what you want to me, cowboy.”

He put his pants back on as he ordered: “Take off your clothes.”

You listened, peeling every layer off your skin, leaving you to the air that was getting warmer by the fire burning. He admired you under the warm yellow and red tints of the flames that were glowing on your skin.

He made you sit down on the worn couch and with his hands, he spread your legs. Joel kneeled in front of you, a small smirk on his face.

“Didn’t think you could be so obedient.” He remarked.

You rolled your eyes.

“Shut up, or I’ll be the biggest brat.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t.”

With that, his face plunged between your thighs. He kissed your flower-like lips, before he licked your whole slit, watching attentively your face to see any reactions. You breathed heavily. You were already so aroused after taking care of him.

He licked your wetness a few times, before he concentrated on your clit. He alternated between sucking and flicking his tongue, and you were a moaning mess for him. Your hands went to his grey hair, keeping him buried in your heat. As he kept taking care of your clit, two of his thick fingers found your hole. You couldn’t help imagining how his cock would feel filling you up.

Joel spread his fingers, sucking harshly on your clit as he felt your body shaking. You just had your first orgasm with Joel, and he kept going, showing no sign of stopping. You were sensitive, legs getting jumpy. He held you down with one of his big hands, as he kept fucking you with the other one. His tongue kept lapping expertly at your sensitive bud.

“F-Fuck, Joel…” You cried.

“Come on, give me another one. I’ll make you cum until you squirt on my face.” He said as he took a break, his fingers replacing the presence of his mouth on your clit.

Your back fell to the couch, mouth opened in a perfect “o” shape. Your legs started to shake again under another orgasm, but it wasn’t enough for Joel yet.

His tongue landed on you once again, licking rapidly at your clit. It was almost too much, you couldn’t control anything happening to your body. His fingers hit just the right spot, and you were done for. You exploded, your wetness splashing his face and ruining the already torn couch.

Joel pulled away from you and lifted his fingers to your face so you would taste yourself, which you did happily.

“Y’made such a mess, pretty girl.”

“Oh, and we’re not done, cowboy.” You smirked as you pulled him on the couch with you.

#writing requests #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #cowboy ! joel #joel miller x yn #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x yn #pedro pascal x reader

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jmdbjk · 9 months

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Bangtan weekly report

Lordt, what a week, what a month, what a year? It's September, we're on the downhill slide.

I've been busy, y'all. You know, life happens and all that crap we say when we have to focus on stuff that's not as fun as staring at the latest naked Bangtan pics... anyway... there is A LOT to process, A LOT to even sit down and catch up on.

Let's break it down shall we?

It was JK's b-day and he first tried to TikTok live us and you know, I hope he can't figure it out to his satisfaction because there's no replay and no translations so fuck TikTok and I mean that in a nice way. Thank god for Armys who record and translate.

And he dropped this tiny but significant TMI:

We know he's building that big whatever it is. It will be a while before he leaves his current residence...or? What? Moving elsewhere until he enlists? He mentioned in one of his more recent past lives that he had to clean up some of his junk in his apartment... soooo.... hmmm....

Also, this:

Acting research? I'm loving the sound of whatever that is.

Thankfully he came to visit us on Weverse live as well, did a few card tricks and cut it short, one of the shortest lives he's done in years and years? Were the aces a hint? Or just part of his magic trick?

Adorable goofball. By the way, the subs are up on this live.

He was out and about before the live, taking pics on the street, he's said he doesn't mind at all, running into fans in public and saying hello.

It's the people who claim to be fans who stalk him and show up uninvited to places where he's trying to live his life in private. Whoever you all are, I'll speak for Kookie. Y'all suck.

In Busan, when he was with his idol friends, they were asked if they were who they were by the restaurant employee and they tried to deny it. That should be a big hint to leave them alone.

Kookie shared a video on his TikTok in solidarity and support of RM speaking out about the uncalled for hate that came RM's way after he posted that song on his Instagram story.

You know... there's been quite a lot of discourse lately about culturally sensitive topics. Tae's "gaffe" and this song that RM shared... I think if you felt offended or uncomfortable when you saw those things happen, those feelings are your own and 100% valid.

Being of Japanese descent, through my life, it has made me cringe when I hear people call stuff "Jap crap" or just yesterday, a canvasser for a political candidate asked me if I was from around here... like... if I was blonde and blue-eyed would they have asked me that? You know? I was speaking to them exactly like I speak here, fully fluent in (Southern U.S. redneck) English because that's my only language (sadly, no thanks to mom and dad because I did not learn Japanese or French). But I don't get obsessed or angry or want to threaten anyone's careers or life. I don't even think about it. And I don't really hold it against people who are not aware of how they come across like that.

People are insensitive all the time without knowing it: asking a woman when they are due but she's not pregnant and maybe can't even have children... mentioning other culturally derogatory terms without realizing it (see "Jap crap" above), saying something looks "gay" like... ok what does that even mean?... you know what I'm saying? I use the term "spirit animal" all the time and someone DM'd me saying it was offensive. So we're all guilty.

I get it, we're all different in how we react. BUT MY FEELINGS ARE VALID TOO, AND MY REACTION IS MY OWN AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS YOURS TO YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE.

As I said, feelings are valid, and the members aren't perfect and it's okay to call them out on it. But the extra implication that was piled on Namjoon for that song rec crossed the line and he addressed it in his own live.

Exasperated he explained that it was just a song and that he knows exactly what everyone is saying, that he's a 30 year old man and can express himself freely. He said even if there will still be those who will accuse him of lying, he can't and won't lie to us.

I love him: "For ten years I've held things in my heart but nowadays I can't do that, I have to speak my truth. Believe my own words."

Before he got into it though he offended the mathematicians and then tried to back track (omg I'M JOKING ok?... unless someone got offended... omg, can we just chill?)

His 2-day old stubble and fuzzy headed self.

The obsession people have with their weight and their looks is mind-blowing. The way he's drilled in the comments on his face, his hair, about admitting he's tanning, how much he weighs, what he eats, he looks tired... This man has an IQ of 160 or whatever and people are worried about a mosquito bite on his forehead. The vapidness and shallow level of interaction in the comments knows no limit. But we've known that. Please, before commenting can people please make a list of things to speak on other than how they look?

He closed by saying to trust him, he'll always show us what's inside of him whether its his music or him as a human... life is a journey with a lot of obstacles, he's good and focusing on his own things and not on the bad energy. He is in such a good head space nowadays... love to see it.

Next up, Taehyungie-hyung...dis my fave pic out of everything I've seen so far:

I am not a fan of Tae in blonde hair, I've said that before. But this particular shot is stunning to me, the lighting and angle.

As you know, I've not paid as close attention to Tae. Honestly I've been waiting for him to share things during this solo time so I can get to know him better just like I did with the other members.

Up until now, everything he does seems superficial EXCEPT the deliberate soft reveal of his relationship with Jennie, which I hope they are doing well and navigating the shitty waters of having to be idols in a relationship.

But so far, its photo spread after photo spread and I'm just not into it. Yes, Tae is very photogenic. I'm sure V biases are over the moon. I'm happy for them! If it was Jimin you would be sick of me posting every photo, so I get it! But I was looking for something a little deeper from him.

So it was this Dingo show that his personality opened up a little to me somewhat... interacting with this Army who's dream is to become a Military Officer. She is the cutest thing, her reactions so genuine and I could feel her excitement and how she was overwhelmed at the end of their day together when she broke down. Girl was holding it in and living the life that day!!! Sooo happy she got to experience that!

And these pics are the cutest:

This one right above with her hands on his shoulders... such a precious memory. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of Tae's album. I'm sure I'll have things to say about it at that time.

And that brings me to Jimin. The jikook selca not withstanding, we haven't seen or heard from him in ages so after 2 months, 15 days, 23 hours, 8 minutes and some odd seconds (but who was counting? not me)... we finally see him again in person at a Dior event in Seoul.

He looked so good, except that tan leather coat reminded me of something 50s vintage, car coat over a sheath dress women wore in the springtime. He's small. Let's put a giant white garbage bag on him. Don't know what goes through their minds.

Dior creates some extraordinarily crafted pieces, but so far, I sometimes wonder if they've even bothered to look at any of Jimin's previous photo concepts for other various things. It's almost like they don't know how to dress him. That's just my personal opinion.

Anyway..AND THEN HE COMES LIVE!!! FINALLY!!!

Is that a Red Dragon keyboard he has in front of his computer? I don't really know anything about gaming stuff. And goodness...

He gets comfy by tying up those pants that look like four of him (or him and Kookie) could fit in there at the same time...

His eye crinkles... I don't care what people say about his beakie... I'm all about the eye smile and those eye crinkles that are going to get deeper with time.

Y'all, this is my bias...

That mood light of the realistic solar system makes Jungkookie's mood light look like child's play. But I see why his moons down his back look like they do.

I know some of the first translations say he called Jungkook for his birthday and he talked about wanting to live his 30s just as full as his 20s, and he's learning through his solo work that he has things to learn and he will improve and I just don't have enough or the right words to express how much I love and admire his perseverance and dedication to being the best at what he does and the best human he can be. I will do a full blog post when the official subs are ready later this week.

I don't know how this guy from the other side of the world got so completely under my skin:

I know there was a lot of other content that dropped that I didn't touch on but there aren't enough hours in my day to type it all up. I will just continue to watch and absorb as much as I can just like everyone else.

Jin and Hobi are still plugging away at their respective bases, I always pray for their safety and health while they are doing their duty. In a few months, Jin may show us what it will be like to celebrate birthdays while they are enlisted.

And Yoongi. We wait as the days tick by. We know its coming very soon. Holding my Yoongi bias friend's hand very tightly. We'll get through this together.

#can we talk about the total reversal in JK channeling his inner fem and JM having that big dick energy?#jimin #jungkook #namjoon #taehyung #bts chapter 2 #jin #hobi #yoongi #can life and bangtan hiatus slow down a little so a girl can catch up?#bangtan weekly report

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coachs-locker-room · 1 year

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I'd take the jock and the cowboy boots of the big dumb redneck stud of the team. Hopefully it's gonna turn me into the biggest, dumbest, sexiest, muskiest redneck on the team after I cum my old self out in the jock.

Sounds like you already have a clear vision in mind of what you'd like to happen - but looks can be deceiving. What you believe is owned by one person, could be something else entirely!

Watching from a distance, you locked your eyes on the star player as he changed from his cowboy boots into a fresh pair of cleats. You waited until the whole team had left before you grabbed both his worn jock and boots, hid them in your gym bag, and took them home to enjoy. Sniffing the well-worn leather of the boots as you put on the stained jockstrap to pose in the mirror, you kept thinking about the big and musky meathead jock that runs the American football team. What you didn't know is that the jock actually belonged to Coach, instead.

As you continued posing and gooning away, you felt yourself growing in mass. "Oh fuck yes," you thought, as the effects of the stolen locker-room gear started to have an effect on your body. Continuing to stare in the mirror, you saw trails of body hair grow across your chest and down your now thick forearms. Your height grew, feet matching perfectly in the brown leather boots, and a rough stubble spread across your chin.

You became a hybrid of the dumb, musky, redneck jock and the dominant, fatherly Coach that the team all looked up to. As your form started to settle, your mind warped to match - no longer the timid and hurried nerd that would steal gear from the team locker room, you became dominant and imposing, slow and studious - but most of all, carnal.

Looking at your new form in the mirror, you were a complete stud. It wasn't what the old you expected, but the new version of yourself couldn't be happier. You checked the time - it was about time you head back to the gym to lend Coach a strong hand and keep the boys in line.

Pulling a pair of jeans over the stained jock, shirt and matching hat you sent a progress pic to Coach.

“Be there in 10, Sir”

—-

If you enjoyed this tf, you can send me a tip on Ko-Fi and for more tf locker room posts and to request your own, follow @coachs-locker-room

#locker room tf #tf story #tf ask box #jockification #tf blog #transformation #male tf #ask coach #cowboy tf

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talesfrommedinastation · 9 months

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Some Redneck Neighbor Doug Updates!

Guys, really, you've made the plump Santa Claus looking Cajun who lives next door to me so happy. He had NO idea that he'd have such a reception to his sass about animated Star Wars shows!

"Well, man, I just watch them shows on my work break at night while eating a snack or two. I'm glad it made the kids on the internet smile. Better then those crackhead scarecrow dances they do on the Ticky-Tack. Think Julio would like Hubig's pies?"

(Everyone loves Hubig's pies, Doug, what kind of question is that. Wrecker would be a sweet potato guy, I think)

@amalthiaph, you are very cherished in Doug's house. I think he's posting your artwork on his locker at work!

This leads me to the following that I can update with. Let me know which ones sound good!:

Doug has some VERY strong opinions on certain episodes on the Bad Batch, some of them hysterical ('Tribe' aka 'Julio's Date with Bigfoot'), others sad ('The Outpost' aka 'The Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special'), and one that's pretty darn offensive ('Pabu' aka 'The HR Video they Shot in Daytona'). If y'all think you can handle the offensive, let me know, and I will do my best to write them up. I was C R Y I N G with how he described Pabu, OMG.

Like an IDIOT, I sent Doug a link to my fanfic, Far Past the Ring. He and Bobby Lee (another redneck neighbor) are massive Expanse fans as well. I thought they'd love it, and they did, but they still ABSOLUTELY SHREDDED ME. I deserved it. Pride comes before a fall. I will post Doug's review on this for sure.

Doug has a truly insane theory about why Tech was whitewashed out of the Bad Batch.

Doug also had opinions on some of my artwork that would have hurt my feelings if I wasn't laughing so hard. He also gave some good insights as a consumer, rather then an artist, which was great to read.

FYI, Doug's heart was fairly broken when he heard about some of the challenges folks have had while reading some of the other accounts. He wants everyone to know that people have been Star Wars nerds since 1977, and there's nothing to be ashamed of your hobbies.

#cloneforce99 #doug the neighbor #redneck doug #doug is amazing #the clone wars #tcw #the bad batch #thebadbatch #tbb #irreverent #doug talks star wars #star wars #star wars fan #star wars tv

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wrestlingarsenal · 7 months

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TLDR - I recap a poignant short story posted in 2000 which describes seeing beautiful young Bobby Shane rassle on TV back in the homophobic 1970s.

Bobby Shane would later morph into a cocky, flamboyant bleached-blond Heel like Ric Flair or Gorgeous George. However, he began his career as a fresh young pretty boy that made all the young gays swoon. I recently stumbled across a provocative short story that references him.

The author recalls being 10 years old, watching wrestling on TV with his redneck uncles down in Georgia: Ray age 19 and Kent age 25. Uncle Kent apparently had a man-crush on babyface Bobby Shane, who was suffering on TV that night. The author notes that Kent "truly did love Bobby Shane—in fact ached blue for him." (I know that feeling.)

In the match, Bobby takes a beating from an aggressive Black heel performing the old jungle savage gimmick. I'm guessing it looked something like this:

That's when homophobic Uncle Ray begins to taunt Uncle Kent for being queer for young Bobby Shane, which pisses Kent off because, back then, it was considered despicable and unmanly to be aroused by other men, including pro wrestlers if you can believe that. (I mean, we're SUPPOSED to be turned on by pro wrestlers, that's the whole POINT of pro wrestling. Am I right?! And who the hell WOULDN'T be attracted to young Bobby Shane?? But in the 70's, you had to keep that queer shit on the Down Low as I recall.)

Anyway, witnessing the grappling on TV becomes too stimulating and the Drunken Uncles tag team suddenly wanted to dominate someone (hey, I get it!) So they begin to roughhouse their little nephew, giving him Indian Burns and Red Bellies, all that grab-ass shit that young men do. And then it all goes downhill from there.

Anyway there is a lot more angst and regret to the story, but this scene just felt familiar to me as a horn-dog for wrestling who grew up around the same era. I can recall the hopeless yearning for the handsome Babyface in peril (mixed with vehement denials of any queer feelings); that tawdry and violent 1970s Rasslin on TV, holding everyone's rapt attention in case something hot should happen; those horny cravings to grapple somebody triggered by watching shirtless men on TV going at it; the sloppy rough-housing on the couch or floor, knocking over lamps while giving zero shits. Been there, done that, bought the skimpy briefs.

Trigger warnings: the original story contains homophobic, racist, and ableist slurs (including the N word and R word - which is how many people talked during the 1970s when this story takes place) and descriptions of violence. I do not condone the crude language, I do not condone frightening children or making them cry - I just felt the wrestling scene sounded familiar.

The story was posted in 2000 to the Arkansas Literary Forum, an early and short-lived attempt to use the Internet for intelligent discourse rather than just porn, gossip, and fake news (we were still idealistic 23 years ago -- it hurts me to remember how earnest we were.) The story was written by journalist Phillip Martin and is titled, "Before Bobby Shane Grew a Mustache and Became Evil."

#classic wrestling #bobby shane #pro wrestler mancrush #wrestling violence

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devnmon · 2 years

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warm enough outside inside

based on the song drew barrymore by sza.

might be in my feels with this one but here we go

summary: you and daryl have loved eachother for a long while. what happens when he begins to push you away?

no warnings just daryl and reader confessing their love for one another <3 kind of fast paced for my first fic that i'm posting but i hope you all enjoy!!

word count: 1.4k

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For a fact, you were in love with Daryl Dixon. And you were also his best friend. So, complicated was just the surface of your pining situation, even if neither of you knew the way you felt about each other.

You were the closest thing he had to a best friend in this fucked up world, and he had loved you for a long time.

Through hard days on the road, the situation at Terminus and the drama within Alexandria, he was always there. Daryl was your rock, your person, your everything. No matter how surly and scary he looked, there was a spot on his battered heart that held his meaning of you to him with an iron fist.

Weeks and weeks of dealing with these feelings caused Daryl to lose sleep, unknowing of the affect he had on you. He stirred in his bed every night, wondering if he would ever be the one to warm your heart on cold days and remind you of your worth.

Truth be told, he couldn't help himself from falling for you.

As close as the both of you had gotten, something changed in Daryl recently. He would go out on runs without saying a word to you, or take his meals straight back to his house. He kept conversations dwindled to small talk while rushing by you into isolation. You could just tell there was something on his mind and it was pushing the two of you apart.

Him pushing you away only made you want to figure out what was going on behind his eyes even more. After avoiding you for a couple weeks now, you'd had enough. Gathering the courage to confront him, you took a deep breath and started your long strides toward his house.

Walking past the front door and around to the garage where you knew Daryl would be working on his bike, you heard his voice and another in conversation. Deciding not to confront him now, you stood just outside of the closed garage door.

"What's the big deal, Daryl? Ya never been the type to back down from anythin', much less telling someone how ya feel bout somethin'." Rick's drawl sounded out from behind the door.

"iI'm not good at this kinda shit. Always- always fucked up shit like this. Never even had feelings for someone like this before." Daryl spoke, slurred. You heard little metal clinks hit the ground.

Daryl and Rick were drinking.

You sighed to yourself. Daryl only drank when something was really messing with his head. Naybe it was the fact that he's got feelings for someone. And those feelings were flooding his mind so often that he’s having what is probably way too many drinks with Rick about it.

You should just leave now, you thought. Before you hear something you probably shouldn't.

Rick went on, "I just don't get it. you never walk into a room without checkin' if she's there, you lose sleep over whether or not she feels the same way. So why don't ya go tell her how ya feel?"

"It ain't that simple, asshole. I can't just say 'I like ya' to her cause i don't. I love her. I wanna do it right, wanna love 'er down right. iId do anythin' for her. Her and her damn gorgeous eyes. An' her hips in those jeans. Those stupid jeans. I dunno what she called em... mom jeans I think...?"

At first you thought you heard wrong... but after a moment of repeating his words in your head, the realization hit you.

Daryl was talking about you.

"You're gettin' off track, Daryl. I don't see a reason not to tell her."

"I ain't good enough for her. An' even if i do tell her, she doesn't want a dumbass redneck like me." Daryl's admittance about himself made your heart hurt. He was a much better man than he knew, every bit as good as Rick and the other men in their group.

Oh Dixon.. if only you knew... You thought to yourself.

"A'right listen, I've gotta go back and check on Michonne before she gets anxious to find me and breaks her bedrest. I'll catch you later, brother. And don't drink too much, for your own sake."

"Yeah yeah..." Daryl waved Rick off as he exited through the house and out the front door. All you could hear now was Daryl moving around in his garage. You heard him sigh and start to throw his beer bottles away.

You began walking back to your house, then stopped in your tracks and pondered to yourself.

Screw waiting. i can't take it anymore.

You made your way to daryl's front door and knocked loud and clear. Daryl made his way to the door and opened it.

"Hey, sunshine, what're ya doin here?" He stumbled back a bit from the alcohol in his system.

"Sorry to bother you, Daryl. I just needed to see you." You walked past him into the warm house from the chilled air outside.

"You're not botherin' me, you could never bother me.." He trailed off. you turned around and looked at him.

"Sorry i'm so clingy... I don't mean to be a lot but... Daryl, just why are you pushing me away?" You turned around to face him.

"What?" He said as he closed the door behind him.

"I don't get it. Why are you pushing me away? You're my best friend, Daryl. We do everything together." You stood with your hands on your hips.

"I-" Daryl sighed, "Come on, calm down. Take a seat for me, will ya?" Frustrated, you sat down on the couch while Daryl sat across from you in an armchair.

"Please don't bullshit me right now. Why are you pushing me away, when all i want to do is be around you?"

Daryl ran his hand through his hair.

"Look, Daryl, I get so ashamed of myself sometimes for feeling this way but it's hard enough you have to treat me like this. And i'm lonely enough to let you treat me like this. But..." You exhaled, "Do you really wanna love me down like you say you do? Do you love me like you say you do?" Daryl's face fell. He was dumbfounded and before he knew it, he began to fidget with his hands like he did when he was embarrassed.

"Oh... Ya heard all that?" Daryl said, scratching the back of his head.

"You bet your ass I did. But i didn't just hear it, Daryl. And to you this might sound crazy, but I love you. You're my best friend and my favorite person to be around. I'd just felt so lonely before I met you and..." Daryl took your hands, "And you reminded me that i don't have to be."

"All of that ya heard... It's true. I'm sorry for pushin' you away. I was only doin' that shit cause I didn't wanna lose ya if you didn't feel the same way. Iust didn't know how to tell ya that I loved ya like that."

"How could I not love you, Daryl?? You're the best man I know and, how isn't everyone in love with you?" You chuckled as his hands cupped your face and a sudden burst of confidence made his will to hold back from finally kissing you much weaker.

"Can i kiss ya?" His thumb rested on the apple of your cheek.

You said nothing except for the nodding of your head that showed him you were okay with this. Daryl's lips eliminated all the air between the both of you. The taste of beer on him made them even more intoxicating. Kissing him was like a new life in itself, invigorating and you wanted more with every scrape of his rough lips against yours.

Pulling back for air, your eyes locked with Daryl's, falling into the deep blues of his and never wanting to look away.

"Now will ya let me love ya down right?" His eyes glanced down at your lips and then up to your eyes. A blush erupted on your cheeks and you replied.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Daryl's arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him. The feeling of safeness that was being wrapped up in his arms overwhelmed you. Daryl gave you hope, and now, he gave you so much more than just a smile on your face. He gave you happiness.

a/n: likes + reblogs are appreciated!! it lets me know how much everyone enjoys my writing & sharing to others is a generous thing to do. much love & thanks :)

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfic #twd fic #devnmon writes

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thenotebookwizard · 1 month

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Notes from Driver's Ed

From the Notebook posts are things that I wrote in my notebook and decided to share with you. You're welcome. And I'm sorry. (No. No, I'm really not.)

In late 2023, I took Driver's Ed. Gotta get those insurance rates down.

I took notes. Just - not the notes the people who wrote the class probably wanted me to take.

Seriously. Who has time to to delay leaving, leave early, etc

Not talking to friends in the car? Rude. And not going to happen.

...control the actions of passengers, children, pets? Have you met the people I know? Control them? What the fuck, class. What the fuck.

Also have you met dogs?

Passengers are serious distraction. Sure.

Keep children 'occupied' with a 'quiet activity' - do you know kids? Like, at all?

Don't groom yourself. Who does that while driving? (If you know the answer to that question, are the answer to that question, or want to be the answer to that question, please don't tell me. Ignorance is bliss.)

Be careful of high profile vehicles height - including in your own garage. Umm...if it doesn't fit in my garage, and I can't figure that out, I have bigger problems than this class can solve.

How many times has this happened to be included in this class?

Animals needs to predict what I'm going to do when driving? That's - a thought, right there.

Elk and moose? In a Texas driving class? Have you been to Texas? Where are the note about coyotes, wild boar, rattlesnakes, and rednecks? (Esp. Drunk Rednecks.)

Don't drive tired. Sick. Sore. Sleepy. Frustrated. Grumpy. Etc. What the fuck kind of world are these people living in?

I am old enough I am now in the 'not as likely to die' category of men. I am not yet old enough to be in the 'more likely to cause an accident' age range. The sweet spot! Finally!

Replace your mirrors with better mirrors. Who has money for that? I'm taking this class to save money every month on insurance. Because I'm poor.

'Active scanning' Bitch, if I had sensors, I would be a lot safer about driving. What is this, Star Trek: The Next Highway?

Don't wear sunglasses at night? I was raised in the 80s. This is my birthright.

Dirty headlights may cut the amount of light - this sounds like a good plan to me. Have you *seen* (been blinded by) the power of some of these headlights at night? For fuck's sake, you want to see, not blind the other drivers for some kind of tactical raid.

Don't smoke while you drive? Back when I smoked, it was much safer for the other drivers if I did smoke while I drive. Trust me.

Don't drink and drive. By now, if you don't know this - oh. Wait. I live in Texas.

Host? When I host? When I host what? I don't get invited to parties. I don't host parties. I don't mix drinks for people. Yet again, public safety information directed at extroverts. Correlation? Extroverts are scary. I already knew that.

Chocolate is included with caffeine, cocaine, and nicotine? Whoo, boy. Y'all playin' with fire, there.

Write down make, model, license plate info of dangerous drivers? While I'm driving? ...um, no.

Circadian rhythm = not everyone is diurnal or a morning person, you fucking morons. Morning person bias needs to stop.

Control your emotions. Use a technique called 'emotional regulation' - what the fuck, people? (What about mental illness. Also: have you *met* people recently?)

You want me to drive unmedicated? Look, there are *some* people you *want* to be fully drugged up before they get on the road. *Trust me.* (Example the first: My mother, god rest her soul.)

Don't use hand signals to direct other traffic? This is Texas. People will be telling each other to go first until time ends.

If you get bored, practice 'what if' driving scenarios? Really? Because *that* won't cause anxiety. Not one bit.

#from the notebook #commentary #me #my writing

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valeriasfragments · 6 months

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Pyrokinesis or: Understanding Fractured Memory

The house down the street is on fire and I think I did it. I think I am one of those fire psychic people, what's it called? Pyrokinesis the internet tells me. Or maybe I'm crazy, what would be the difference anyway?

Anyhow, I think I started the fire but I can't be sure because my memory can't be trusted and while I don't remember going into the building and lighting a match but I can't say I didn't not do it, you know? Brains are temperamental things and prone to forgetting upsetting things.

Oh, right, anyway, I think I started it with my mind. You see every day I walk to work and I cross East Hampton street and at the top of East Hampton is Von Strauss Manor, a very large, very old house with something like 10 bedrooms or whatever.

And every morning I stop and I stare at Von Strauss Manor from the bottom of East Hampton where it ends at Charleston Lane and while staring at it, catching my breath from all the walking, and I imagine what it would look like engulfed in flames. And on the way home from work tonight my wish came true.

Von Strauss Manor started life as a landowner's house and through the years property exchanged hands, people died, inheritances were had and now Von Strauss Manor was on fire and I think it was my fault. I would apologize but I would do it again and again, that house knows what it did wrong.

You see, while staring at the monstrosity of a mansion with a baleful stare, imagining the fire licking the air, and before I know it the flames were there. And I didn't mean to actually harm the house, but it looked at me with a sinister gaze.

I felt threatened. It was an act of self defense. Manslaughter in the first degree with pyrokinesis. Well I guess houseslaughter, does that exist? Probably not. They'll write a whole new section of law for this. I don't think pyrokinesis is technically illegal... or legal.

I think they call that a "technical gray area" or something like that. Anyway, I'm sure I will be the catalyst for this houseslaughter legislature, they're always making laws to punish queers like me.

But... Also... Why do I remember marble flooring and a sauna and hot tub? Why do I get flashes of a big rear projection TV and one of those sound systems with the big speakers you always see at Radio Shack in their gaudy tech display? Why the specifics?

I am unsure, but I am sure of one thing: my brain was rearranged by a drunk redneck in a bar fight outside Tupelo, Mississippi sometime in July 1979. Why do I remember that date but never any birthdays or anniversaries or any of the government holidays? Oh right, the brass knuckles and the redneck, yes, well, that guy beat me bad enough that I can't trust my memory anymore.

Also I remember it because it was the night of the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl, Jerry Lawler & Bill Dundee vs. Larry Latham & Wayne Ferris in what would be known as the birth of hardcore wrestling. It was a wild brawl and goddamn I love wrestling.

Oh, right, the knuckles and the redneck, yeah that was my post-show ritual. I would go to the matches and cheer some good guys and yell at bad guys and have a great time, then I would come out here to the bar and drink a few drinks and walk home.

Well, on this night Mr. Redneck and I got into a verbal disagreement and he decided to rearrange my face, but what he didn't count on was my head bouncing off the pavement so hard my brain broke. A cheap shot blindsided me and now I have severe memory issues.

So now I am watching the firemen try to scramble and save the manor engulfed in flames by the weird trans girl who used her redneck brass knuckle birthed crazy person pyrokinesis and I realize, while I did do this, nobody knows I did do this because my brain did this for me. I think. I don't rightly remember.

#microfiction

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skinslip · 2 years

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Pyrokinesis or: Understanding Fractured Memory

Well, on this night Mr. Redneck and I got into a verbal disagreement and he decided to re-arrange my face, but what he didn't count on was my head bouncing off the pavement so hard my brain broke. A cheap shot blindsided me and now I have severe memory issues.

#fiction #horror #horror fiction #short story #horror story #pyrokinesis #pyrokinetic #Stephen King probably did it better #skinslipwriting #Valeria's fragments

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sabakos · 1 year

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I posted 4,055 times in 2022

That's 4,055 more posts than 2021!

929 posts created (23%)

3,126 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@triviallytrue

@nostalgebraist-autoresponder

@sabakos

@lumsel

@the-real-numbers

I tagged 1,579 of my posts in 2022

#laugh rule - 102 posts

#q - 99 posts

#postpostmodern love story - 64 posts

#personal - 50 posts

#same as it ever was - 38 posts

#mine - 34 posts

#endorsed - 33 posts

#yeah - 30 posts

#hegelposting - 26 posts

#posting - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#if you aren't comfortable appropriating from a *closed* religion or arguing whether mohammad was a femboy you aren't approaching it safely

My Top Posts in 2022:

There was a junior who lived on our floor freshman year. His housing got messed up? I don't know. He only ever wore boxers inside the dorm, but nobody really seemed to have a problem with that. I saw him once in the Comp Sci building wearing actual clothing and barely recognized him. Our RA dropped out a couple weeks into the year so he taught all of us freshman what rules we could break, sometimes bought us alcohol, helped us with random college shit, etc. Chill guy.

One night in the middle of a huge rainstorm I ran into him in the hall as he was headed out, (only wearing his boxers, as per usual), and he invited me to join him. I figured he was going out to smoke or something, yeah sure, whatever, I'll hang out. But once we got outside, he stood out away from the building in the rain, looked up at the sky and screamed at the top of his lungs like an animal. But the sound went... nowhere. He suggested I try. so I did. We both screamed at the sky for a bit. My clothes were drenched. He told me he did that every time it rained like that. I never saw him do it ever again.

I have no idea what was up with him, exactly, but he clearly had something figured out.

622 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Professional sports without sexual tension isn't any interesting, it's why they invented sports anime. But cartoons aren't enough. To revive a dying, over-leveraged institution after inevitably collapses along with the coming burst of advertising bubble I propose that all sports allow the players to fuck each other to strengthen their warrior bonds and cause better interpersonal drama. Also if the straight people are having too much trouble we can gender desegregate everything while we're at it, and unban all performance enhancing drugs because the rules for that were stupid and its all just cope anyway. Every sports gym locker room should look like Starship Troopers. This solves every problem with sports and all of the new ones it creates are just further marketing opportunities.

655 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

The media sure is an institution.

935 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Complaining that you have a biological disadvantage in sports is never as much fun as finding new sports that you are better at than everyone else. Like how gamers invented e-sports. or the bourgeoisie invented golf. or rednecks invented "drive car fast in a circle."

You have to take a solutions-oriented approach to your problems instead of complaining about how other people are better than you.

2,652 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You probably don't know another language if you live in the United States and both you and your parents were born here unless you go out of your way to learn it. This is a problem of geography more than it is a moral failing because if you are an American, then learning another language is not immediately useful to you. This is because your options in school are as follows:

Spanish: Second most common language in America. Most people who speak it also speak English and will look at you funny if you know Spanish and will not appreciate you being able to eavesdrop on their conversations. But, it's the only non-English language with an appreciable population of native speakers that you can encounter without getting on a plane. However in all likelihood you will probably be taught by a non-native speaker who could not pass an A1 exam and you will learn no Spanish just the same as everyone else.

French: The only French speakers in North America probably don't want to talk to you ever, and if you speak non-Quebecois French at them they really won't want to. You are probably going to major in literary studies and spend the rest of your life pretending to read books no one else actually reads. You have opinions on Freud and Lacan.

German: No one in North America speaks German as their primary language. It's really only useful if you like philosophy or World War II history or want to move to Germany. You probably really like beer and will study abroad and be really annoying about it afterward. But most Germans you are likely to meet outside of Germany speak English somewhat well so you aren't really doing anything for yourself? So most people will also think you're a Wehraboo or worse unless you are Jewish.

Russian: You already speak Russian or another Slavic language at home and will insist that you do not up until the first day of class, when you and all of your classmates will spend the entire time gossiping with the professor in Russian. The few American kids will hang out in the back and probably talk about Dostoevsky and drink vodka out of their water bottles. Everyone will get an A and no one will learn anything new.

Mandarin Chinese: You (or more likely your parents) think "we'll all be speaking Chinese in twenty years" and so you want to get a head start. This attitude self-selects against people who will ever need to know Mandarin. You probably idolize Ezra Pound and use phrases like "command economy" unironically. Every single person from China who has ever met you hates your guts.

Japanese: You are a weeb. All of your classmates are weebs. Your professor may or may not be a weeb, but wants to die regardless. You'll probably give up halfway through the first semester along with the most annoying 80% of the class and switch to Spanish once you realize how hard it is to learn Japanese.

Korean or Arabic: Congratulations on your new job at [redacted]!

Pashto or Urdu or Farsi: Congratulations on your new job at [redacted], but also I really doubt you are supposed to be telling anyone that you are learning this language. Good luck on your future job search.

Navajo: Most Navajo people don't speak any Navajo and unless you live in New Mexico you will literally never meet someone who is Navajo. They don't want to talk to you anyway. I don't think many people ever even try to learn this, this is solely on this list because I've seen insane but clueless Europeans try to guilt Americans for not learning it for some incomprehensible reason.

Latin: Latin is a dead language. I'm sure you are tired of hearing about that by now, which is why I reminded you about it. Even Catholics will make fun of you now for learning this. Your parents probably want you to be a doctor, and will stop talking to you when you drop out of med school. Or maybe you're a classics student who will spend the rest of your life incorrecting historians about pissing contests no one cared about anyway. Go forge a historical demonology book or get off to a picture of Thomas Aquinas or Cicero or something, I don't know.

Ancient Greek: Oh, are you a theology student or something learning Biblical Koine? The Evangelical Christians don't care what the bible actu- ...No? You're learning Attic Greek? And you're not like, a linguistics or classics major or something, you chose to do this specifically. Hey, uh, are you doing anything later? Or right now, even?

3,283 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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notstilinski · 2 years

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The Blair Witch Project Starters !

Taken from the 1999 movie, The Blair Witch Project! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“Which means we're already going to be behind schedule, but it's important to have juice.”

“Don't we get to meet your mama?”

“The woods around Halloween time is a creepy enough phenomenon.”

“l don't want to go cheesy. l want to really avoid any cheese.”

“Should we all, like, cut our fingers open and bleed on it?”

“That's kind of an omen, isn't it?”

“He could feel the eyes watching him.”

“l mean, anybody worth their salt around here knows that this area's been haunted by that old woman for years.”

“Look at that. We've got our very own leaning post.”

“No, I never gave (Name) any fart allowance.”

“Would that be a full-of-shit statement?”

“So, l'm just putting my trust in you that you know where it is.”

“Although I got to tell you, l don't fully trust you.”

“Just breathe and don't look down, maybe?”

“Fuck, I wasn't listening to them ‘cause I thought they was a lunatic.”

“Flames are licking you like the devil there, (Name).”

“lt was, you know, the same thing, only darker.”

“What bugs me out is that we're so damn deep in the woods and people are going to try and... And come out here and mess with us, then they got to have something wrong with them. And l'm not going to play with that.”

“Well, even if it wasn't, l'm not going to play with that, either.”

“l don't fucking think it's deer, though, man. lt sounds exactly like the shit last night.”

“This is way fucking weird, but it really doesn't matter at this point because all I want to do is get to the goddamn car.”

“No, l'm not fucking scared. l'm just tired, l'm hungry, l'm fucking, like... l'm just fucking done, man.”

“That is... That... l mean, that's the fucking, like, least responsible thing you could have possibly done.”

“All l'm saying is, we can move as fast as we want, but if we have no fucking clue where we're moving to, then it really doesn't matter, does it?”

“We are gone. We are fucked, we are done, we are dead, we're fucked.”

“We're doing a pretty goddamn good job of being lost.”

“l'm really happy you find it very amusing that l'm going to be incredibly uncomfortable for the rest of the day.”

“lf we get hurt or we die out here, it's your fucking fault! lt is your fucking fault! Do you understand?”

“This is no redneck. No redneck is this creative.”

“Turn the lights off. Turn the lights off. Turn that light off. Turn it off, (Name). All lights off. All lights off.”

“Did you hear that baby screaming?”

“l haven't heard anything since we ran away.”

“Let's go! Let's go. Are you not scared enough?”

“lf you bite me one more time, l will throw you in the fucking woods.”

“No, but it's totally like a filtered reality, man. lt's like you can pretend everything's not quite the way it is.”

“l know that, but we're all on the brink of losing it.”

“Whatever it is, is going to come back. We know that for a fact.”

“lt came three nights in a row, and it's getting worse every night.”

“Fuck you. Fuck you. Really. Fuck you.”

“Come on, I can't. I can't listen to fighting. l can't fight.”

“We're screwed and that's it. Please stop fighting. Both of you.”

“Okay, here's your motivation. You're lost, you're angry in the woods, and no one here is here to help you.”

“lt's all I fucking have left, okay? Just please stop. Please stop. Just please stop yelling at me, please.”

“You going to write us a happy ending, (Name)?”

“Doesn't it just seem absurd, though, at this point?”

“We can't even find the car! How the fuck are we going to find (Name)?”

“Which wicked witch was worse, The Wicked Witch of the East or The Wicked Witch of the West?”

“(Name), where are you? Tell me where you are!”

“l don't know if it's really them. l don't know if it's really them.”

“Whatever it was, sounded like (Name).”

“Tell me you're not eating a dry leaf.”

“l just want to apologize to (Name)’s mom and (Name)'s mom and my mom...”

“And it's all because of me that we're here now, hungry and cold and hunted.”

“l'm scared to close my eyes. l'm scared to open them.”

“I’m going to die out here.”

“It’s okay. It can’t be him.”

“Where are they? Where are you?”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #starter sentences #ask meme #ask prompts #inbox memes #inbox prompts #movie sentence starters

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flamingcraniumb · 2 years

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I've been writing like a maniac and I hope I can get the support of my friends. I know I've spoke out about the grooming I endured as a teenager and other atrocities. I sat down the other night, spent 2 days and a night writing out the entire story. Let me tell you something, write out your pain and hurt because young you didn't have the entire story. I was being emotionally abused by my "friends" in school, who caused the entire school to ostracize me. I realize these conversations are uncomfortable but if we're not talking about it then it's still happening. I was a traumatized kid by the time I arrived at my hs which made me more susceptible to the abuse. Let's protect our future kids from this. I wrote in the format of a letter to Melodee, since she insists on gaslighting me:

Melodee,

I know this is so very long! I just don't want to leave anything out. I'd hate for you to get your hopes up about having a chance at "destroying" me by using the decisions I made when I was a kid against me. All the while I was in a tornado of people, all throwing weapons at me. I mean its "cute" when bullies think the same empty, basic tactics they used on you the first time they tried to destroy your life might work again but you've used the, "my friend catfished me" out of context twice now. It's reassuring to see you both still lack the abilities to dangerously create false stories. I almost laughed at how you're trying to present this image of yourselves as people who are caring, kind, thoughtful!

So I'm just genuinely curious if you can come up with anything else that doesn't sound like another one of your cliche, predictable deflections SO yawn. Now that I've once again claimed the same mistake you keep trying to use against me in an attempt to excuse your terrible behavior. A single mistake you used to cover up the countless bullying and betrayal you forced me to endure. What desperate attempt will you use to discredit my voice? I don't think I have anything else you can use. I guess you'll have to learn how to be more creative or maybe you can find one of my other traumatic experiences to use to discredit me again. I'm fully aware I won't recieve any honesty. My healing isn't reliant on your ability to be honest about the cruel acts you carry out.

Why do you think I'm here Melodee? Putting myself back in a stressful situation with shitty people like you, who will hurt anyone just to cover their tracks, especially when I never want to talk to any of you ever again. Its my responsibility to protect/warn others. So if the pain you caused me can account for anything, than I hope it can bring awareness to emotional abuse in teenagers and how dangerous ostracizing can be. Its also my right to finally reclaim my voice after you guys tried to take it from me, it just took me awhile to build my confidence back up after all that.

So why would I step out of my comfort zone to dredge up the past? Its like that quote you posted, about how you could forgive someone for mistakes they'd made in the past if you knew they were doing the work to fix themselves? Well you can't fix people who won't admit they have a problem. So no, I don't forgive you for all the ridiculous shit you've put me through or your recent pathetic attempt to continue victim shaming me. The fact that you've not only contributed to the major problem of why victims don't come out about abuse, but many other incidents where you've willing suppressed women just for the approval of the toxic male. You've even gotten children involved in your drama. You're an enemy of us women and children, especially us abused.

I don't forgive Nayt, he's incapable of taking an honest look at himself, which I'd be terrified of myself too. Or maybe he's just not strong enough to do the work because it would take an extremely strong man to admit his faults and repair them. Instead he hides behind counter cultural movements, always shifting between personas. I'm goth, I'm a redneck, now I'm a hippy. When really hes just an an abuser who will use anything to justify why he put his hands on me.

I don't forgive Kaelia. She presents herself as someone who doesn't let anyone push them around. Well, I don't know who would be able to push her around when shes already the one doing all the pushing. I don't have faith any of you have any humanity left or if you even ever had any.

I dont need "friends" who will sit in the next room while someone is being hurt or potentially killed. I dont need "friends" who cause me to feel like I have to remember every word I've ever said, so its not manipulated to be used against me. Thanks to you guys, I'm actually able to recognize a lot of red flags sooner. Knowledge from abuse comes at a very high price.

Thankful I didn't supress myself enough for you to control me. You call me weak yet you could never endure the life I've lived and still stay honest. You couldn't even survive your own trauma enough to avoid becoming hateful bullies. Instead you chose to be weak and petty, using the same mistakes I made when you and Kaelia were bullying me. While I was still trying to recover from my traumatic childhood.

So here we go! I've taken your gags out of my mouth to finally tell everyone the true story of how two girls, who were supposed to be my friends, tormented me through high school, decided to smear my name, risked my life, allowed a pedophile to get away and ostracized me from my peers all for the amusement of petty drama.

I just starting writing out everything from the moment you and Kaelia darkened my door, to the moment when I was finally rid of you. I realised I'd never wrote out everything you guys put me through. Then I saw the timeline coming together, the pieces connected and I have to say I was shocked! It seemed so obvious, how hadnt I seen it before?! Coming out about Gunny and Nayt were completely linked. I could finally see the severity of what all of you did to me.

So I'm sure everyone would love to know the extremely evil and sinister act I committed that led you ladies to go to such extremes as, riling up our entire school to assault me after you convinced them to disregard when I was groomed by a teacher, sit in the next room while knowingly risking my life, romantically pursue the dv guy who just tried to kill your friend, marry the dv guy! Ok drum roll: so apparently when you're a stupid kid and do stupid kid things like create stupid bfs for your friends who are lonely, you could accidentally create these really thoughtful boys who write them poetry and remember all their favorite interests. You realize you've majorly messed up and that you didn't think this all the way through. You come forward on your own with guilt to admit what you've done. Never belittling their hurt and taking responsibility, even when you knew how hypocritical it is they're holding this over your head despite the excessive amount of toxic incidents they put you through. Some of which were: Kaelia starts dating a guy I had just asked out and was still hurt over him saying no. When you try to tell her this is hurtful to you, she assures you she isnt actually interested in him! She's merely just using him in hopes to get closer to his brother, who she finds more aesthically pleasing. So she drags you to sit with them at lunch, glaring at you if you look too miserable about how poorly you're being treated. I mean I could keep listing stories but its the same theme of me being too broken from my past toxic relationships that I couldn't see this was emotional abuse. I couldn't see that when she would start fights with me over my wanting to occasionally have lunch with other friends, that it was controlling, not loving.

So after admitting my guilt, you actually "accepted" my apology and it didn't take very long for you to be chummy towards me again. Which of course, I know abusers don't actually understand how the concept of apologies and forgiveness work because that part of their brain is already filled up with gaslighting and deflection tactics. It just reminds me how you guys would store every tiny mistake up to be used against me, whenever it was convenient for you to get away with how terrible you were treating me. Which I guess that's still a thing you do.. We even agreed on taking it slow LOL cause this was still in the days you wanted me to believe your nice guy act. Kaelia on the other hand wants and even demands you know you have upset her, this could go on for very long periods of time, over any little thing she chose to be upset about. So she would still hang with the group, dramatically she'd whisper into one of our friends ear that she might be close to forgiving me soon but I knew she just wanted to keep me hanging on for her. It really didn't bother me anymore because I felt I had been as honest as I could be with my mistake and I would constantly try to go out of my way to show I cared for her. I now realize it wasn't a test of whether I really cared for her. She just wanted me to suffer and it didn't really matter what I'd done. Now that I'm older and writing this all out, I see Kaelia was just another narcissist and you her flying monkey, until you decided to pick her brother as your new owner.

So Im stressed about my family falling apart and Kaelias bullying, so finally I said fuck it! I attempted to move on with my Life. I actually started developing friendships with others BUT youre not allowed to leave the narc. Kaelia is now a stalker, she seems to be going out of her way to just stand around hallways and glare at me. Literally following me around everywhere and being passive aggressive. I still hadn't healed from a lot of what I'd been through in foster care and didn't realize the severity of what you two were putting me through.

Wont you ever find peace away from these messed up individuals? Well the bullying and stress from home didn't let up, I attempted to take my Life. So as you know and I guess many others who I don't know but seem to know about my personal business that I went to an Institution. I knew I wasn't perfect and I made mistakes but I also knew in my heart that I would figure out how to navigate this Life. I just kept thinking, am I working against the Universe to keep attracting these abusive people? So when I got out, I really tried to piece my Life back together. I really focused on my grades, I didn't act like a class clown and my Mom enrolled me in ROTC. Hoping it would teach me skills that might help living with my adhd easier. NOT because I was some bad kid who was constantly acting out.

So many narratives people made up and ran with. I've never been good at or enjoyed keeping up with gossip but I could hear people say we went all the way to court where Gunny lost his job. I guess that narrative sounds a lot better than the truth, that my entire school chose an adults safety over a child's. Even though, just a little over in West Plains they couldn't believe how disgustingly the school was behaving. Funny noone ever asked me details about anything OH YEAH its kind of hard to have a voice when two bullies are going around telling everyone you're liar and who knows what else. I do one stupid thing that any kid could have done and they felt the need to discredit my entire reputation. I realize now I should have listened to my Mom when she told me you guys would hurt me. "Right as always Mom." I hate that you were also able to drag her into your sick games.

When I was at that age, I had no idea how to handle all the stress that was coming at me. Gunny like many other groomers saw his opportunity and took it. Same with abusers like you and Kaelia. You all kicked me while I was down. You and Kaelia had already been kicking me for awhile but this time you decided you really wanted to ruin my life. And you did, for awhile. I sometimes wonder if I would have really stood a chance too, because there was so much evidence against Gunny but noone could see past your lies. I dropped off because I couldn't endure it anymore. Just like I'd done other times in my life when people shunned me for coming out against my abuse. Then I carried around the guilt that this man was free to hurt others. You guys definitely have a long list of moral lines you don't mind crossing to get that petty revenge.

After Sophmore year ended and I had my Mother by my side, it seemed to finally calm down. I'd finally made a good hearted friend KC, who is incapable of even musing over the idea of hurting someone. It also renewed my Moms faith that I'd be able to have a life without abusers one day. But you know the expression sweeping a problem under a rug, really is quite suiting because I couldn't act normal after the hell you guys put me through. Plus the years of abusers before you guys got your hands on me, it just couldnt stay sweeped away. Then KC had to move to Springfield, we stayed close but now I was back in that school without the one person I could trust. Do you remember that day Kaelia got everyone riled up to assault me outside the cafeteria? KC surprised me, actually sticking up for me and she stood so strong for someone she loved. Thank goodness for people like ML and KC, cause I really don't think you guys would have let me get out of there alive.

Oh sweet perfect Segway to the next chapter. So girl thinks she falls for a boy, boy doesn't know how to communicate so boy starts belitting girl because maybe that'll work out for him...Different boy, Nayt who is Kaelias brother, tells girl that she deserves better than how this other boy treats her. So she just leaves because she'd kept staying too long before with people trying to make her feel small and she desperately wanted an authentic partnership. Well Nayt begins love bombing her for awhile and she thinks maybe she might have finally found someone healthy. These never seem to last long with narcissists and he quickly becomes extremely controlling, trying to keep her locked up in their shared room. Getting jealous when she wants to go sledding with her gfs, even though she tries to invite him. When she comes back he hasnt calmed down. *Refer back to my post coming out about that night.

Don't worry folks, she survives another attack from an abuser. The next day she tries to come for the rest of her stuff and her cat. Nayt is refusing and watches with amusement as her mother checks if the authorities can help them get their cat back, before Nayt follows through on his threats to murder their cat. She had a hard time getting her cat back because he wasn't chipped and Nayt being a cliche narc just wanted to drag out the tormenting as long as he could. So it would seem Kaelia wasn't the only abusive lover in the family.

You think you can paint this pretty illusion of a commune filled with nurturing love while you lure innocent people to a man with severe anger/control/obsession issues so he can play out his powerful/all knowing cult leader fantasies. I mean I don't actually worry that you'll convince people to move in with you. Youre still hanging out with the same drama obsessed people you were hanging out with 10 years ago, using the same knives to keep stabbing each other in the backs. I sit back and just wait for you to get bored.

I mean I already know you just can't help yourselves, you have to come out occasionally to see if you can wreak havoc in someone's life. No one hears from you for a few years, then you pop up as soon as you hear a potential situation you can manipulate.

Oh, maybe you’ll even go as far as trying to get someone's kid taken away from them just because what?! Nayt has some weird obsession with an ex of mine?! While you desperately have to please him! So why not cause heartbreak in a families Life. Did the situation have anything to do with you? Nope, you just have to be involved in petty arguments. Did you also have the audacity to reach out to me, who was almost killed by Nayt, to see if I would lie about the child's father being physically abusive? Of course, cause maybe you never learned empathy or you've been so damaged by heartless people you've succumbed to being just as heartless.

BUT just in case I was having doubts about how far you'll go to uproot peoples lives for your sick amusement, you admit that the child's mother, whose side you're on, has anger and drinking issues. Going into detail about how she gets so angry she frequently goes into a rages, breaking furniture. I mean come on girl, its like you weren't even trying to hide how shitty you were being. I have to assume you must have thought I'd also let my pain turn me into a monster like you.

WRONG, you were already going down on your first strike: I'm a survivor of a domestic violence attack from the guy you romantically pursued barely 2 weeks after I came to you for comfort. I even akwardly forced myself to stick by your side in hopes that would hear my plea because I thought he was going to physically hurt or try to kill you the way he had me. I don't know whether you really disbelieved me but I do know you're just a terrible friend, which is where your 2nd strike comes in: if you had actually been a friend to me in the first years we met, then you would have known a big part of my Life was and still is defined by being a foster kid. Who was taken away from my biological Mom and my brother. That I had to leave because my Mother was too broken from the damage in her Life to make good decisions and dated men that physically abused us. I grew up without my brother, the security of having a loved one reassure me when Life was hard. A huge healthy dose of all the trauma that would instill insecurities, leading me right into the clutches of abusers like you trying to convince me their toxic love wasn't toxic.

I was really thrown that you thought I'd help you take an innocent child away from a Father that not only loves his daughter but is extremely involved in her development. Especially whenever you carried pain from your own Fathers absence AND you've even been in abusive relationships. Still yet you perpetuate the vicious cycle of little girls not having positive men involved in their Life. For what? The satisfaction of pleasing your alpha male? I mean geeze Melodee you now have this long ass list of ways you're suppressing women.

During the time you ran off with Nayt, I hadn't quite figured out setting my boundaries or knowing the signs that a friendship is toxic but I was trying. So when I started talking to Kaelia again, I remember her being hurt that you just cut off contact with everyone, because she thought her flying monkey would have at least reached out to her first narc love. We even talked about that night Nayt strangled me because I'm sure you're aware she was there and did nothing to stop it. My young, naive self still trauma bonding thought maybe I could regain her respect again if she was finally admitting what happened that night. Wow, it feels so long ago and foreign how poorly I allowed you two to treat me. .

What if I had taken the path you did and succumbed to my hatred? Guess I spent so many years focusing on not becoming jaded that I didn't even think about being filled with doubt and insecurities instead, that were setting me up to develop unhealthy relationships. Its not an easy path but I stuck with it, broke my trauma bonding and finally found genuinely kind people who always remind me how beautiful I am. Reminding me that I didn't deserve all the hurt I endured. Who lift me back up where I belong. My heart is now strong and impenetrable to bullies belitting my experiences.

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panfluidme · 10 months

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The White Turtles

Master Post

Donnie made four friends at school, Robbie, Jarid, Marcus, and Lucy. The four became much like the Purple Dragons (they decided to call themselves the White Turtles), but Donnie's really the most egotistical and emotionless one.

Robert "Robbie" Orrick Myers-Jenkins: the last one to join the group. He and Donnie met in their science class during a partner project. Originally, Robbie was the star football player. He's big and strong, seemingly looking like a stereotypical athlete. However, he's insanely smart and would much rather be a vet who's very tech savvy than a professional football player. Donnie was the first person to figure out that Robbie's smarter than he lets on, since he noticed that Robbie was purposely making himself sound dumb during their time together for their project. Such as starting a sentence that's correct then course changing and making it incorrect. A few weeks after they became friends, Robbie quit the football team and started dating Donnie. He was adopted by a human family a year ago and they don't know that he's a Yokai. His adoptive mother is his math teacher (Mrs. Jenkins) and his adoptive sister (Daisy) is the school's best wrestler.

Jarid Kenrick Fasler: he absolutely hated Donnie at first and slowly started warming up to him shortly before he disappeared. He only hung around Donnie because Lucy's his cousin and Marcus was his only other friend and they adopted Donnie into their small group. He quickly became friends with Robbie when he joined the group. Jarid is the geography smart kid in the group. He looks much like a redneck, yellow flannel with a lumberjack's hat. He was born in Oregon, but moved to New York after his father's death. His mother moved him and his siblings to New York to be closer to family for extra support.

Marcus Zane Quinton: he was the first one to meet Donnie. The two were in the chess team together. Marcus was a strategist. He can think his way out of anything and everything whenever needed (be it getting out of detention or covering for Donnie's frequent absences). He also loves game programming. He's not the most intelligent one of the group, but he's the friendliest. Pretty much everyone in school loved him or at least have heard of the friendly chess nerd (I'm basing him off this one guy I went to school with. He's an absolutely amazing guy who gave me a free chocolate cause he saw I was having a bad day).

Lucille "Lucy" Tamera Gorden: Lucy and Donnie are on the same swim team. Unfortunately since Donnie was born female, he was put onto the girls' swim team (much to his displeasure and Splinter's annoyance). Lucy's very mathematically smart. She's the first one of the group that Donnie let touch him. She considers herself to be Donnie's best friend. After Donnie had introduced her to Sunita and April, those three had quickly hit it off. She hangs out with those two just as much as she does the other White Turtles. Lucy does not care that she's the only girl on the team. She's glad that she gets treated just the others by her friends; she's one of the guys.

Donnie's friends completely freaked out when they learned that he's vanished. Lucy, Jarid, and Marcus get to meet Donnie's brothers and father for the first time after. They get somewhat close to each other. Jarid introduces Daisy to Raph after he learns that Raph has a very big interest in wrestling.

#purple's second chance #rottmnt #rottmnt au #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt april

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okapirose · 1 year

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Wrong Turn (2021)

Hikers get lost in the woods.

Bad shit happens.

The Ritual is far better for this horror trope. And there’s a cool monster. Humans are the only monsters in this one.

I don’t know if this was meant to be a re-imagining of the one with Erika Dushku but while I haven’t seen that one it doesn’t sound like this is a remake.

Spoilers ahead...also mentions of SA (however its not shown), abelism, and other awful shit.

The TLDR; The gays are buried, cult takes the survivors, hot poker’s out the eyes of those of no use as punishment and throws them into a dark cave, and the final girl escapes pregnant with her rapist’s baby.

The very long of it all...couple things might be out of order as I watched this awhile ago but never got around to this, but I don’t think its too important.

Bunch of college/post college level peeps go hiking on the Appalachian Trail. They’re all decently educated or working for their degrees and the local townsfolk are kinda assholes to them thinking they’re just “woke millennials”, though partially for good reason as they know hikers go missing regularly so they’re trying to scare them off. But also they’re leaning heavily conservative rednecks who don’t look too fondly at the gay couple, among other things.

Hikers go out, everything goes well until one of them wants to go find some local ruins, which is of course off the trail that they were warned very much by everyone not to do as per usual horror trope. They get lost, camp out, freak out when one of their number goes missing in the morning but turns out she just had to pee and they left her behind.

As they try to find the path, a log suddenly comes rolling down the hill and hits gay #1. Its pretty gory too, guy’s face is crushed, his partner sees it and we are granted multiple shots of it. Female lead/final girl, Jennifer, spots someone up the hill where the log came from but of course when everyone else looks, the person is gone and her friends tell her she’s seeing things. They continue on, blaming the hiker who wanted to go off the trail for gay #1′s death.

They encounter more traps including a chain that snags and drags one of them toward a trap and out of sight, and another being sharpened stick pit. One of the cultists mercifully kills the hiker who gets caught in the pit though we don’t see what happens to her body. Chain trap guy is found by two of the cultists (they’re dressed in ghillie suits and animal skull masks) and they string him up like Han Solo in Return of the Jedi, they don’t speak English, they refuse to remove their masks, and they are armed, so everyone is panicking, and then the guy who was tied up beats the shit out of one cultist with a log. Later its revealed they were supposedly taking him back to civilization.

Eventually the cultists have enough and round up the remaining 4. The cult is called The Foundation as it was founded centuries ago around the same time as the founding of the country to avoid the wars/disease/live a simple remote life/etc. They have their own language, dress and live primitively, all under the guise of trying to live sustainably off the land. But its of course very much a cult. On the surface its not the white supremacist sort as there are plenty of people of color, but there’s no ingenious people that I can see despite when and where it was founded, so its probably got roots in white supremacy as a lot of cults do.

Add to that, you have to be healthy and in decent physical shape and have to contribute in some way to the village if they allow you to join. Abelist, and cruel, their intentions with people who hike the mountain are purely either to kill them, mutilate them in the name of justice, or to bring them into the fold.

The hikers are brought before the elders and leader in a “trial” , the crime being that one of the Foundation’s people was murdered in cold blood by one of the hikers, and its garbagio. The hikers were being watched while in town, goaded by the cult members stalking their car. Stalking about the tent at night. And while Jennifer saw someone at the top of the hill where the log dropped on them, that was definitely purposeful but for whatever reason she doesn’t bring it up when they’re on trial.

Also all the so called hunting traps are way over the top or not practical for actual hunting, unless you’re actively trying to kill humans who wander off the trail. If they were actually peaceful or trying to keep people out, then they’d have markers that point back to the trail instead of murdering them for veering off, which is a regular enough occurrence that the townspeople just accept it.

The hiker who bashed the brains of the guy “helping“ him is likewise given the same treatment, gay #2 has his eyes hot-pokered out and thrown into a dark cave, with the main leads on their way to join him until Jennifer speaks up, vouching for her boyfriend that he’s strong, a hard worker, etc, and his goals in life were toward charities and helping communities. They accept him. To save herself, she offers herself to whomever in the village needs a wife. Of course its the leader.

All the while there’s a flash-forward occasionally of Jennifer’s father-Matthew Modine-who’s looking for her as she’s been missing for almost two months. Town tries to intimidate and throw him off until someone finally helps. He’s taken into the woods by a guy and his son who want to get back at the Foundation for killing his other son, unfortunately this other one is not experienced, falls into a trap, and the father tries to get him out but he dies in another. Again, these traps are murdering people. But yea, sure, the Foundation is peaceful...

Modine is left alone but eventually manages to find his way thru the woods. Jennifer seems to have been converted by the cult, finds him and takes him back to the village. Its a ruse however and she works to escape with Modine, her boyfriend stays, believing that he’s found is his calling, but he doesn’t rat her out as she and Modine escape.

To get out, they go through the dark cave where dozens of people who had their eyes removed wander around, eating scraps of bread that we can only assume the cult feeds them, but they’re animalistic for as soon as the doors are found to be open, they attack and feed on a guard. During their trek thru, they come across gay #2 and Jennifer shoots him I guess in her eyes to put him out of his misery, but its not like he’s not capable of thought or consent, he’s just blinded, so while, yea, bringing him along might have slowed them, her decision to kill him is abelist.

She and her father escape, the rednecks having come to help with their cars and automatic weapons. The cult leader dramatically calling for Jennifer across a ravine, but she leaves with Modine.

Some weeks later and she’s kept her rapists’ baby and wouldn’t you know who shows up. The leader is dressed “normal“ and after Jennifer gets her mother and siblings out of the room, she agrees to return with him on the condition he not harm them as she has some premonition that if she tried to stab the guy while they were in the room he’d kill them before she could get to him. He’s satisfied, and they leave. Credits begin to roll over the RV driving away but it suddenly swerves, hits a tree, and the cult leader crawls out. Jennifer stabs him until he’s dead before walking back down the road toward home. The end.

Its like a train wreck, you can’t stop watching and hoping the hikers get the fuck off the mountain alive. And there are a handful of good scary moments like the night in the tent. Waking up in the middle of the night and hearing someone walking around outside when everyone you know is in the tent with you? Horrifying, no thank you lol

I will also say the acting is pretty decent too.

Matthew Modine as a “Papa” you actually want is great, man looking for his daughter and it ain’t Eleven lol

I don’t know Bill Sage in anything but damn that man was equal parts unsettling as fuck as the cult leader, and also very fine lmao Great acting on his part and hope to see him in something with a better plot.

Overall, its rough to say the least, not really anything original in terms of horror but if you’re looking for a film with your brain off for awhile, or a drinking game (don’t do horror tropes, you’ll die of alcohol poisoning before they even get lost lol), probably up your alley.

#wrong turn 2021 #Horror Movies #okapi musings

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