#loki is a christmas tree | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daisybell17 · 4 months

Text

Happy Holidays? — Loki

warnings: angst

WK: 1.7 words

——————————————————————————

The Holidays have rolled around once again and while the world is filled with celebration and joy, I was filled with panic and worry. In my opinion, for a season thats all about togetherness and even love, it surely brings out quite the opposite in so many people. You slowly notice that the season is a performance rather than an opportunity for friends and family to gather in celebration and instead of relaxing from whatever the year put you through, you end up overwhelmed one last time. Before you know it, it’s January and thus begins the cycle of the new year again.

Loki knew how overwhelmed you were for the holidays and he watched as you frantically went shopping for family and friends. He didn’t try to stop you knowing that you’d protest on why you had to keep doing this and offered to help you out instead.

“Darling have you bought all the gifts you needed to get?” He asked with a soft tone

“Yes…finally I got everything!” You say with a tired yet happy expression. “You really didn’t have to come along holiday shopping with me”

“Oh don’t be silly, you know I would tag along with you wherever you go” He smiled and gave you a peck on the cheek

Smiling at his response, you happily accepted his peck. “You’re too sweet you know?”

“Oh stop it now!” Loki grinned.

Clinging onto his arm, you had signaled him to put his arm around your waist. You loved the feeling of being close with him, it brought you a comfort you couldn’t understand. That didn’t matter though, you loved it.

……

Christmas day had arrived and you put on your best face and smile. You and Loki were spending the Christmas day with your family and…well it was definitely something.

You were bombarded with question after question, comment after comment, each of these words becoming slightly more uncomfortable than the last. “When are you and Loki getting married?!” “When will you guys have kids?! Oh everyone can’t wait!” “You look amazing! SOOOO much better than last year” uncomfortable touching out of nowhere “I heard you got accepted to your dream job…hm…” “Wow I can’t believe someone as handsome as Loki here is dating you! He’s a real catch!”

It didn’t help that your parents only added to the stress with comments that were so uncomfortable to you as they painted you to be some version which they love, and not actually who you are and it only snowballed from there.

At some point in the night, every overwhelming emotion came crashing down on you, as expected every year.

Once the dinner had concluded, you said goodbye to everyone and rushed to leave as fast as you could. Loki immediately picked up that something was wrong and got you both out and into his car.

Entering on the passenger seat, you slammed your head back onto the headrest and let out the longest sigh to leave your lips. Loki got into the drivers seat and watched as your face contorted in frustration from all the pent up emotions you had to fight back this entire night

“Darling…I know you aren’t…alright…would you like to talk about it? or would you want me to drive us home in silence?” Loki asked in a concerned yet comforting tone

“In silence for now please” You asked, just needing a moment of peace from the overwhelming overstimulation of your emotions, thoughts, mind and body

“Silence it is” Loki pulled out of the parking and started driving home

He was focused on the road and occasionally glanced at you to check in if you were ok or not.

Meanwhile, you had curled into a ball and faced away from him, letting the darkness of the night cover your face as you embraced the silence

One hand on the steering wheel and one hand on your backside, Loki gave gentle rubs up and down, helping you calm down and letting you know he was there for you. He will always be there for you.

This years holidays have for some reason been rougher than previous years, actually, it might have just been the roughest so far. All you really wanted to do for Christmas was have a lovely evening dinner in with Loki, make a gingerbread house, eat said gingerbread house with hot chocolate, snuggle up by the fireplace and maybe share a nice bath together. Or do whatever Loki wanted to do as well, but no, you had to see family because i mean…you had to…right? I mean thats what the holidays are about…even if it drained you every time and left you feeling down…When was the last Christmas you had where there wasn’t some screaming, uncomfortableness or lectures?

This thought caused you to start sobbing, letting out your tears and sniffles. Loki heard this and his concern turned into sadness and worry for you. This wasn’t how he understood Midgardian holidays were about…perhaps humans really are more complicated than he thought, that never stopped him from understanding and loving you with all his heart though.

His hand never left your backside as he pulled into the parking of your shared home. He stopped the car and looked at you.

“Darling were home…Let’s go inside and get you into some more comfortable clothes ok?”

You turned to him, tears staining your cheeks and top. “Okay” you whimpered out

You got out of your seat and slowly started making your way into the house, Loki following up with you and placing his arms around your shoulders.

Entering the house, you kicked off your shoes and body slammed onto the couch. Loki sat next to your head which currently had your face planted on the couch cushion. He ran his fingers through your hair as he cooed.

“Im sorry you’re having an overwhelming Christmas my love…I wish we could have done something else that you actually wanted to do” He said as he continued to brush your hair

“I-I don’t really h-have a choice Lokes” you sobbed into the cushion

“Of course you do darling…its the holidays! You should be able to relax, unwind, spend the season with people who don’t leave you feeling like this afterward or make you want to run out the house immediately”

“I know!” you quickly sat up and looked at him “but you don’t get it, I have to keep doing this, or they’re going to say i’m some ungrateful asshole!”

“Then let them spew whatever made up shit opinion they have about you! Darling you told me all about Midgardian holidays and so far your emotions don’t match up with your stories”

“I know i’m sorry… i’m sorry…the holidays are just so…performative…and its so exhausting….I’m never me when i’m with family or when the holidays roll around…but then people will start talking and talking if I go absent, and..ugh I don’t want to think about it…” You tucked your knees against your chest, emotions spilling out everywhere.

“Well I see that now…Love…is it like this every year?” He asked

“In many recent years yes…and I know i’m not the only one who feels like this around this time of year…”

Silence filled the air as you poured your true feelings all over the place…How does Loki even deal with you? Maybe your Aunt was right in stating that someone as handsome as Loki was dating you…this caused more tears to prick from your eyes, the thoughts invading your mind and heart

“Darling…you do know I can read you like a book right? I’m not going anywhere, i’m always here for you my love…and I would fight anyone who tries to take you away from me” Loki then pulled you into a tight embrace, placing a kiss on the top of your head as his hand rubbed up and down your backside. His actions screamed that he was there for you. That he loves you. That your everything to him, louder than anyone ever has.

“You know Loki…there is this thing so many people say…”

“Oh? and what is that my dear?”

“Well they say that celebrating the holidays alone is sad…and that its not how it should be…most people pity those who are alone this time of year”

“That’s not exactly wrong…Im sure the holidays would be more enjoyable with family and friends that love you as much as you love there”

“Yea you’re right…but I won’t lie…sometimes I wish I spent the holidays alone, in silence, doing what I want, rather than have to put up with what you saw earlier…year…after year…after year…the silence seems more festive than the performance i’m forced to put on and the shit I have to listen to that I wish I could block out”

“Ah…I guess you’re not wrong in that regard….but you do no you never have to be alone during this festive season right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I’m here…” Loki then locked eyes with you, flashing a small smile.

“You’re here” you replied

“And I have no plan of ever leaving you…my sweet darling” He smiled wider and kissed your forehead

You sniffled and smiled as he did…God you felt so loved by him.

“Darling we can celebrate the holidays in anyway you like, whatever you want to do, we’ll do. Whatever you don’t want to do, we won’t do. You deserve a break and a relaxing Christmas…most importantly, by the people who truly love you for you…”

You hugged him so tight, you swear you could feel your heart exploding from love.

“Oh Loki” You sobbed

You looked at him. “As long as you’re with me…anything we do, anything you or I want to do…we can do…whatever we want…”

“Exactly darling…anything at all, as ourselves completely…”

The air of the festive night felt lighter as your own heart was able to relax through the words and company by the god you loved…That’s what the holidays are about…togetherness and love…with the right people…with the people who love you fully for you…with the people who makes this time of year feel like your breathing with spirit and love…

“Loki?” You locked eyes with him.

“Yes my love?” He looked back.

“If we ever do have a family of our own one day…promise that we’ll fill our home with love and hope…and that the holidays are something the family we build look forward too rather than dread?”

Loki smiled…”Thats what I promise our lives will be…I love you”

“I love you too…Happy Holidays my love”

“And a happy holidays to you too” He replied, pulling you into a kiss…followed by a holiday season you never wanted to forget.

——————————————————————————

(a/n): hello! first I hope everyone is having a happy holiday! but if you’re not, i completely understand you, which is why i wrote this fic. the holidays aren’t always the best and sometimes we just need a lil break from it all…so i hope to bring some comfort from loki this holiday season…i wish and hope you all the best. Sending love your way <3 🫶

20 notes · View notes