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starlitangels · 2 years

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Broken (Not Broken)

I don’t know where this came from. I like all the listener characters paired with their Redacted bois. I really do. Like, I don’t really ship any Redacted character with anyone other than their listener. But this one was nagging at me so... here you go, I guess. 3.2k words It’s been a while since I wrote a longer one. Fun. (Psst! This one now has a Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 3.5)(Part 4)(Epilogue)

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“Oh please, Shaw. If you had your way, you probably would have rather I stayed up in Washington indefinitely and never come back to Dahlia,” I spat, shoving past David toward the door to the security office. “And the rest of the pack wouldn’t blame you.” The last sentence came out as a quiet growl.

“What?” David demanded. I heard his boots stomping after me. Whipped my hand away as he tried to grab my arm. “Tanker—where the hell did you get an idea like that?”

“Where the hell do you think, alpha?” I retorted. I halted in my tracks but didn’t turn to look at him. “I’m the pack joke. I hear the whispers that follow me through pack meetings. They’ve been the same since I was thirteen. Reckless. Self-destructive. Headstrong. Loner...” I clenched my jaw, eyes falling to the worn-down carpet. “Broken.” I cleared my throat. “The pack thinks I’m broken. And guess what? They’re right. If they weren’t right before I left for Washington, they definitely are now. I’m broken, David.” I growled—more animalistic than usual even for me. “If I’d just stayed in Washington... at least I wouldn’t be the humiliating stain on your pack’s perfect reputation.”

“Tank—” David tried to protest.

I slammed open the door and stormed out. Once I was in the parking lot, I broke into a run.

“Tank!” David shouted behind me.

“Leave me alone, Shaw!” I threw over my shoulder. I turned the run into a sprint and leapt over the curb of the parking lot that led right to the forest. I knew why David had chosen this location for their office. Perfect access to the woods for a bunch of shifters.

My feet didn’t touch the soft dirt as I landed. My paws did, claws sinking in.

I’d perfected shifting mid-air when I was fourteen. Liked to make a trick of it. Mostly because Ash couldn’t figure out how I made it look so easy and every time he tried it he ended up falling over. He didn’t need to know it took two solid weeks of me also falling over to finally stop overcorrecting my balance.

I bounded through the woods, reveling in the wind rushing through my fur where it was exposed. I couldn’t hear David behind me. I doubted he’d follow anyway.

David and I weren’t always the best at picking our battles. Thinking we were strong enough to fight every single one. And win. But David was better at it than I was. Always had been. I didn’t know where he found the patience. Usually if I flew off the handle, he would be beside me. But there were more than a handful of times where he was behind me instead, grabbing me and holding me back.

He knew this argument wasn’t over. He knew we would pick up exactly where we left off later. The way spats between us always had. But he knew that I’d left for a reason. He knew that if I’d stayed one second longer, two of the biggest wolves in Dahlia would have torn that damn office apart.

I would have shifted and we would have fought. And David would have won. He always did. No matter how much better I got at fighting, I could never beat him. If I’d stayed and we’d fought, he would have beaten me to hell.

And I’d probably deserve it.

Self-destructive. Reckless. Headstrong. Wayward.

Broken.

I huffed out my nose and shook my head to clear it. So what if I was broken? So what if I threw myself at the wall and cracked a little more each time it broke first? Why was that anyone else’s business? I’d been a member of the pack since I was thirteen. But I’d never been part of it. Not like the others. They all leaned on each other—bolstered each other when they needed it.

They’d shied away from me. I was too much. Too hard. Too harsh. Too guarded.

The vivid, distinct memory of Marie pulling Milo away from me and into her arms after I’d lost my cool and shifted to defend Milo from some bullies at school when we were fifteen still stung. I didn’t belong with them. I wasn’t like other wolves.

Whatever I was, I was made different. I was made violent. Sharp. Rough-edged in a way that couldn’t be softened. I’d tried. I’d wanted to be accepted when I was a teenager. When I first joined. I wanted to be part of the pack. And they’d tried to accept me. But I was too different. By the time I was twenty, I knew that I’d never be accepted fully. I was born to spill blood. The universe, God, or whatever was out there—something had decided that I was a fighter. And I’d never been given another option.

So I always did what I was born to do. I fought. I had the scars to prove it. I fought and I beat myself to hell and back with a wild disregard for my own body and safety. Because it was all I knew. And I let the pack shy away from me while I moved the other way. In a room full of people, I was always alone.

I slammed myself into a tree as I ran—to jar the look on Marie’s face from all those years ago out of my mind. Her wide eyes and slack jaw. The smell of fear. The maternal instinct to protect her son. Milo was one of the toughest wolves in the pack—always had been—and his mother still sought to protect him from me. After I’d done what I’d done in his defense. The look on her face... like I was some sort of monster...

It didn’t matter anymore. I’d accepted my place. Black sheep. Lone wolf.

Broken.

I kept running. Fast and hard. Lungs growing ragged with how hard I was breathing.

I’d just leapt a small stream when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. A text.

After a few steps to make sure I was on safe ground, I shifted back, leaning against a tree and panting while I pulled my phone out.

New Message David Shaw🐺: When you’re ready to -talk-, let’s talk.

I scoffed.

Every time we try to -talk- we end up shouting, Shaw.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and trudged over to the stream. I plunged my hands into the frigid water, letting the tears finally fall. They splashed delicately into the current and washed away.

“Why do you even care?” I muttered. I shook my head. “He doesn’t actually care, Tank. He’s just fighting through the motions of keeping me in line because he has to. Because he’s the alpha. Your alpha. The one unlucky sucker who has the misfortune of dealing with me. Chaotic. Disastrous. Harbinger. Mess.” I scoffed. ��Listen to me. Calling myself Tank. That title they gave me because I wasn’t one of them. The others just go by their names. Not me. Not to them. And apparently I’m so used to it I don’t even think of myself by my own name anymore. I am what they made me. And I am what I forged myself into.”

I got to my feet, shaking cold water off my hands. The stream had numbed my fingers, but in a way that felt good after the heat of running.

I found a log to sit down on. To let my magic recharge for a bit.

And I cried. Sobbed. Let myself break a little bit more. Alone. In the woods. Where no one could see me cry. Big wolves don’t cry.

Gabe had told me once that there was an African proverb that said, “A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” He’d told me that with a fond, gentle smile as he gave me a hug. I’d been thirteen. New to the pack. Desperate to be accepted. Gabe was the only one whose attempts to connect with me felt genuine. Not obligatory.

I’d never wanted to be the child who burned down the village. But every passing year made it feel like the torch was already in my hand and pulling itself closer and closer to the homes.

I slid off the log and sat in the dirt, face buried in my hands and breathing coming only in the choked gasps of sobs.

Swearing, I slammed my fists into the earth beneath me. Not caring where twigs and pebbles dug in. Chaotic disregard for my own body. Recklessness. Hallmarks of who I’d always been.

“Did I ever tell you that I considered making you beta?” a voice said.

I swore again—louder and more emphatically—as David stepped over the log and sat down on it.

“The hell are you doing here?” I snapped, keeping my face turned away from him, for once inconvenienced by wearing a tank top—no sleeves to wipe my face on. “Were you following me? Creep.”

He didn’t rise to the bait. “Did I ever tell you?” he repeated. Calmly.

I rolled my eyes. “No. Why would you ever consider me? I shouldn’t have even been on the list.”

David grunted. “You were. You’re a good wolf. A damn strong fighter. And you care about people—even if you struggle to show it.” He cleared his throat. “Granted, I knew you’d refuse the position if I offered it to you, which ultimately led me to choosing Asher. But I thought if you were given responsibility in the pack, it would help you better connect to your packmates.”

“Yeah, that would have ended well,” I muttered. “Undermined your authority from the very beginning because you chose the outcast as your beta. You and I are both glad you dodged that bullet.”

“Will you look at me?” David demanded. “Stop staring at the ground and look me in the eye.”

I shoved myself to my feet, stormed a few steps away, and whirled to meet his gaze. “Why did you follow me out here, David? What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“We don’t talk. I don’t talk with anyone, apparently. It always turns into shouting matches. This pack is terrified of me. Of what I’ve done. Of what I could do.” I ground my jaw. “I should have stayed in Washington,” I said softly. “At least then I would have spared all of you the agony of having to deal with me.”

David leapt to his feet. When had he gotten so tall? “For the record, if I had my way as you said, you never would have left for Washington. I knew why you did it and I understood why you felt you needed to. That’s why I agreed. But you’re pack. You’re family. I didn’t want you to leave.”

I snorted in disbelief. “Is that right?”

David raised his chin. “Yes. It is,” he said sharply.

“You didn’t just jump at the chance to get the stain on your pack’s reputation off your hands? Make me someone else’s problem?” I pushed.

“Tank, you are not a ‘humiliating stain’ on the pack’s reputation. You never have been. We’re people. We make mistakes. Every damn member of this pack has broken the codes of conduct at least once. Including me. Granted, that was before I became the alpha, but I have.” He took a step closer to me. I took a step back.

David flinched. I blinked. “What?” I snapped.

“I don’t want you to be scared of me,” he said.

“I’m not scared of you. I’m not scared of anything.”

“Except letting yourself be cared about!” David spat.

It was my turn to flinch at his tone. Any wolf would if their alpha spoke like that. My jaw tightened. A headache was forming in my temples from the tension in it. “You think that frightens me? You think I pulled away from the pack and went off the damn deep end into a self-destructive relationship with a sadistic vampire because I was scared of letting myself be cared about?” I growled. The hair on the back of my neck pricked. Trying to raise. But in human form I had no hackles to raise.

My tone got louder as I continued, “Are you really that blind, Shaw? I know you’re not a therapist or a social worker but come on. Any self-respecting alpha should be able to tell a cry for help when they see one. I showed up to pack meetings with the collar of my shirt soaked in my own blood and half of my damn neck ripped open—pleading inside for someone to ask if I was okay. You think I distanced myself from the pack? The pack pulled away from me first. Before any of this ever happened. Not Gabe—never Gabe. But after you took over? There was no one left to be on my side no matter what. Everything I did—everything I tried to do to connect with these people—it was never enough.

“You didn’t see the way Marie looked at me in high school. When those... pricks were picking on Milo for being small.” My hands balled into fists, fingernails digging into my palms. “Sure, I should have stayed in human form and ‘used my words’ or whatever. But words don’t get bullies like that in line. So I shifted. I pounced as a wolf. And I pushed Milo out of the way.

“And what did I get for it? A thank-you? No! I got Milo’s mother staring at me like I’m nothing more than a common beast and dragging Milo away from me. I defended him and she looked at me like I was the one who’d attacked him.” Tears were pouring down my face now. “I see that look in her eyes even now, the last time I spoke to Milo at a pack meeting. It’s been over ten years!

“I’m not scared of letting myself be cared about, David. I’m scared that I can’t be cared about. Because no one does care about me! I’m lonely down to the very marrow of my bones and no one in this pack notices. They’re all too scared to look at me!” I’d been backing up, voice getting louder and louder, as I’d ranted. David kept taking steps closer to me to keep the distance even. But his longer legs meant he was slowly getting closer. “Quinn broke me. I know that. You know that. The whole damn pack knows that. And I let him. Do you think it was hard for him to lead me on? Do you think he had to be so sly and crafty to get me to think he liked me? To distract me from how terrible he really was?

“Because it wasn’t.” I shook my head. “I was so desperate for any form of companionship that I let myself ignore every red flag without even realizing I was doing it. And when I finally snapped out of it, I figured out something that the whole pack seemed to think for years: love is not an emotion afforded to me.” I wanted to punch a tree. But managed to refrain.

David just stared at me for a moment. A muscle had flickered in his jaw when I made the self-respecting alpha comment, but now his face was slack.

“Look at me David. For the first time in our lives, really look. I’ve seen the way you look straight through everyone else in the pack. Peer deep into their souls. See me for what I am for the first time. I dare you,” I snapped.

“I see you, Tank,” he said.

“No you don’t!” I didn’t mean to explode, but I couldn’t help it. “Because you still see me as Tank! The title the others in the pack slapped me with! No one else in the pack has a nickname like that. Just me. Given to me because I’m not like the others.”

“You really feel that way?”

“Duh. Congratulations on having to be told outright in order to notice. Now answer my question. What the hell are you doing here? Why did you follow me?”

“I came because I was worried about you. Because—contrary to your belief— there are people in this pack who care about you.”

“Yeah, right,” I retorted, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. “Look, I’m only staying in Dahlia until I find Quinn and tear his throat out with my teeth. Then I’ll go back to Washington and get out of your lives and your hair.”

“Did you not hear me when I said I didn’t want you to leave in the first place?” David asked sharply.

“I heard. But that doesn’t change the fact that apparently my presence has made the packs’ lives hell since I got here.”

“And if I say you can’t?”

“Then I’ll leave without your blessing. It’s not like I’ve ever cared about that kinda crap before.” I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. “Why are you even here? Why are you even acting like you care? You and I were always the least social of the group. I thought we had an understanding.”

“We did.”

“So what are you doing out here? Why would you follow me into the woods? Why does it matter to you, David?” My voice got louder and louder until I was shouting. I’d kept backing up—but as I shouted his name, my spine bumped into a tree. Cornered.

David grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the trunk. “Because I love you, dammit!” he shouted.

Oh.

“I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen. It killed me to watch you let Quinn destroy you, and it killed me to let you leave for Washington. But as your alpha I had to let you go and recover from everything he’d put you through. I couldn’t think as the kid who had a crush on you.” He sucked in a deep breath through his nose. “And I came after you because it broke my heart to see you running away from me.”

My chest burned. And for once it wasn’t my Core aching to shift.

“I... I really want to kiss you,” I said. Surprised at how breathless my own voice sounded.

David almost looked shocked. “I’ve waited to hear that since we were teenagers. C... can I?”

“Please do.”

He pushed me harder against the tree trunk and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me. He was warm and firm against me, fingers digging into the muscle of my shoulders, wrinkling up my tank top.

One of his hands slid up to cup the side of my face. And he whispered my name—my real name—between kisses. Over and over. He whispered it reverently. An exultation.

“Isn’t it... complicated... for an alpha... to date... a pack member?” I asked between kisses, my fingertips pressing into his back.

David snorted out his nose. “I don’t care,” he replied, voice just as breathless as mine had been. “I’ve wanted this... wanted you... for years.”

“Okay,” I said. “You wanna do this?”

“Only if you do.”

“I wouldn’t be kissing you if I didn’t.”

“Fair enough.” He kissed me again. “And, for the record, you’re not broken. You put yourself back together—and you healed all the stronger for it.”

#apparently I was working through some stuff when I wrote this... sorry. yeesh #Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted David #Redacted Darlin'#David Shaw #Darlin'#David #I cried a lot writing this #i didn't mean to #Starlit Fic

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pbelfz · 3 years

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Title: Pillow Talk Pairing: Yandere Bakugou x Reader (HIS One Shot) Prompt: ‘His’ One Shot fluffpiece. Includes: slight NSFW, jealousy, toxic relationship, aftercare Word Count: 1.5k PB’s Masterlist HIS Masterlist HIS Theories

Katsuki was a little rougher than usual tonight.

He must’ve had a lot of steam to blow off; (Y/n)’s seen on the news how there’s been more villain activity in their area lately. Him and the other heroes have been worked to the bone. It’s not like she really cared all too much about his work life; the only thing she was concerned about is when he took it out on her body at night.

(Y/n)’s bottom stung along with the ache in her lower belly. She lay flat on her stomach on the bed, too sore to move around as she whimpered a pitiful whine. Katsuki’s weight shifted on the mattress, but she couldn’t be bothered to open her eyes at this point. Her skin felt sticky and hot, a fucking mess and in dire need of a bath, but she knew he wouldn’t give her one this late. His own body was exhausted as well, but he certainly didn’t look it. (Y/n) knew he would’ve taken her good and raw one more time if she didn’t appear to be on the verge of fainting. She couldn’t tell what time it was, but the sound of her captor’s bare feet padding through the bedroom lulled her tired mind. She sighed, listening to him quietly leaving the room before returning a moment later.

This is what he did. This was his job, he’d told her: to care for her afterwards; (Y/n)’s job was to take it. To take him.

The warm rag was always first.

She felt him press it on the back of her thighs, and she gasped. Though it was intended to be warm, it was much cooler against her heated, abused skin. Katsuki wiped at the mixture of fluids that spilled out of her used holes, almost not really wanting to clean them up. (Y/n) whined at the feeling of Katsuki’s wiping at her raw cunt, ejaculate and discharge gathering onto the damp rag. He heard her sigh when she was finally wiped clean, and he got off the bed once more to retrieve something else.

(Y/n)’s muscles felt so stiff and achy. He really manhandled her tonight, but consent is a foreign word that neither of them ever translated. She turned her head to look at the patio with a faraway gaze. She watched Katsuki in her peripheral. He grabbed an item from the master bathroom, but (Y/n) couldn’t really see it. She dreaded each time he returned.

The gel is always second to come.

(Y/n) didn’t move, and Katsuki crawled back on the bed, throwing a leg over her thighs. He was heavy, sitting on her like this. She wasn’t about to say anything to him, though. One complaint, and all of this special treatment would be over in the blink of an eye.

Katsuki squeezed the tube of gel onto (Y/n)’s rump, the bottle making an obnoxious squirting noise. They’ve used this one a couple of times. Sometimes Katsuki doesn’t think she deserves it. She was good tonight, though. She took everything he gave her without complaint. He apparently thought this was well-earned. Or maybe he’s just feeling a little bad.

Neither of them ever talked during aftercare. It was an unspoken agreement that they didn’t need to speak during this. Pillow talk might have been a little too intimate for Katsuki’s comfort level, anyway.

The gel was freezing, as if he kept it in the refrigerator. It was just the cooling effect, though. It made (Y/n) gasp and wince, her whole body becoming taut underneath him. Katsuki paused, glancing up at (Y/n)’s face before he continued to stroke the gel into her skin. He eventually felt her relax underneath her fingertips.

Months ago, (Y/n) would’ve felt embarrassed to have a man rub her ass like this, a famous Pro Hero at that. She’s just glad she’s no longer his punching bag. No, she’s graduated to his sex doll.

(Y/n) frowns, feeling Katsuki’s meaty hands being as soft as they could as they massaged the gel into the cheeks of her backside. The numbing effect was quick; the gel was a high-dollar brand, and it really showed. She felt Katsuki lean back, his sack brushing against her thighs.

“You good?” He grumbled, a yawn fighting its way out of his throat.

That was always the final piece. A ‘You good?’ from Katsuki.

(Y/n) hummed an empty reply and shifted to huddle into the covers. She was as good as she was going to get.

Katsuki followed, moving to relax under the blankets with her.

(Y/n) was facing him tonight, which was odd but not unwelcome. His skin was so warm against her’s, he was so warm. Always. Maybe he’s always been like this. He looked so handsome right now, up against her, and so close to her face. He’d been staring down at her under half-lidded eyes, and it wasn’t making her nervous. It never made her nervous. She grew with him. There’s nowhere else but here, is there? Here, with Katsuki?

“Katsuki?” (Y/n) breathed.

“Mmm?” He hummed. His arms wrapped around her waist a little tighter.

An attempt at pillow talk couldn’t hurt.

“Did you,” (Y/n) started, unsure, “always take care of your hookups like that after sex?” Her voice was quiet. It was an awkward wound whose bandage just didn’t dress it properly, one that made Katsuki’s nose crinkle. What kind of intimate conversing was this? (Y/n) didn’t really know how else to talk to Katsuki these days, and these were questions that lingered on her mind the more sexual their relationship became.

“Why?” He replied in a hushed voice, pulling her closer into him. (Y/n) fit comfortably into the crook of his neck. He smelled like a husky cologne with a faint tinge of sweat and cum.

“Just curious,” (Y/n) managed, but it was a poor response, and Katsuki could see that. He decided not to answer her, electing to move a hand up to stroke her hair instead. He wanted to pick his battles right now; sex with (Y/n) did that to him, made him soft. Tolerant. His eyelids were growing heavier by the second, anyway. (Y/n) spoke up once more, though, not wanting him to fall asleep.

“Were any of them… Better?” She asked, almost looking ashamed when her eyes flickered up at him to gauge his reaction. A moment of insecurity. It’s hard to open up about those in this house. Katsuki blinked, the question waking him up slightly. He’s been asked this before by other women, and he’s always maneuvered around it in order to get laid. Though, hearing this from (Y/n)…

Katsuki’s hand stopped its movement through her locks, and (Y/n) thought he almost looked angry. She was about to retract her question before Katsuki spoke.

“Why?”

He didn’t sound mad. Now that (Y/n)’s looking at him again, maybe he didn’t look as angry as she thought he did.

Still, she couldn’t answer him. She only stared up at him with wide eyes, trying to find his own in the dark room. Katsuki sighed, his other hand removing itself from her waist to rub down his face.

“Some fuckin’ curiosity. You wanna know their body types too while you’re at it?” He grumbled, and (Y/n) shrunk away from him.

“Nevermind,” she muttered with a roll of her eyes. She tried to pull away from him entirely, but his grip on her only tightened.

“No, I’ll answer you. You really wanna know?” He told her. He was mumbling, but he might as well have been yelling. (Y/n) sighed through her nose, a frown forming.

Katsuki kept on. “First, tell me what’s wrong with you. The fuck is your problem, askin’ about that shit?” He’s holding her close to his body, pressing her chest against his. “I don’t even think about those bitches anymore, yet I can tell you think about them almost every time we fuck recently.”

(Y/n) stuttered, gaping at him. What… What kind of pillow talk is this…?!

“You used to do the same with Hiroaki,” (Y/n) blurted it out before she could stop herself. Katsuki’s eyes went wild, and he finally raised his voice.

“Fucking stop. Go to sleep.”

They both lie together in silence for a while, glaring at each other. (Y/n) sulked, and she eventually snuggled into Katsuki’s chest once more.

“If you’re going to keep me here to be your sex slave, the least you can do is make me feel good about doing it,” she whispered. “Or make me feel like I’m doing a good job.”

Katsuki’s stomach jumped at her comment. (Y/n) wasn’t outright denying him of sexual favors, and she even desired his appraisal.

He understood now.

“I just never know with you,” (Y/n) continued talking, but Katsuki’s movement interrupted her rare moment of emotional expression.

He pulled her closer into him, running a few of his fingers down her bare spine. (Y/n) shivered at the contact.

“I did give my hookups aftercare when I had the time for it. It was never as thorough as it is with you. I take my time with you. And some of them I had a lot of fun with,” he murmured.

“But they were all practice. Practice for you.”

#yandere katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #yandere bakugou #yandere bakugou katsuki #yandere bakugou x reader #yandere bakugo x reader #bnha #mha #HIS #1k event

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pingutats · 3 years

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i just had such a good request for a fic. dom/sub dynamic with dom!harry where y/n is being spanked for misbehavior and she ends up crying during it because she feels like she deserves to be hurt, and harry stops immediately and there’s a lot of fluffy aftercare and physical affection

thank you for the request!! i know it took me a million years to get to writing this but finally did it... i know it strays a little bit from all the details of your request but i hope you enjoy regardless!

warnings: spanking, dom/sub dynamic, descriptions of anxiety (maybe don’t read if you’re in a weird headspace, it’s not exactly pleasant!)

word count: 1.7k

. . . . .

As soon as Y/N hears Harry’s car in the driveway, she dashes from the kitchen to the front door like a kid that’s heard an ice-cream van. After the day of work at home she’s had, of redoing paperwork she’d messed up the first time and struggling through technical issues and communication errors over email—she just needs Harry so badly.

In fact, she’d texted him earlier to let him know. Quite blatantly. With a photo she prays he opened when there was nobody else around.

When Y/N opens the door for him he freezes, taking in her appearance. She’s wearing just panties and one of his shirts, her bare legs completely on display for him. His gaze sweeps up and down her body for a second, then he swears under his breath and strides in quickly. Y/N jumps back to give him room, waiting a few feet ahead in the hallway.

He shuts the door with his arm swinging back behind him, not even glancing over his shoulder to watch it close.

There’s a second of silence as they stare each other down, and it’s in this second that Y/N feels them slip into the roles of the game she’s been wanting to play all day. His eyes go from wide in shock to steady. Her head bows almost of its own accord, responding to the straightening of Harry’s shoulders after he drops his bag.

He inhales sharply through his nose and drops his keys into the bowl on the bench. “You’ve been doing this on purpose, darling,” he says in a measured tone. It isn’t a question. He won’t be asking questions now—she won’t have to think, she can just listen to him, let him take over now.

She plays with the bottom of his t-shirt that she’s wearing, pulling it up enough to reveal the slightly paler skin where her shorts would usually cover.

Harry’s tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Come here,” he says, beckoning her over.

She considers refusing, just to be a brat, but it’s a lot easier to just go along with him now she’s getting what she wanted. She twists her hands in the t-shirt in front of her as she approaches him, averting her eyes from his as he watches her, suddenly vulnerable under his gaze.

When she’s close enough, he reaches out and grabs her wrists to yank her grip on the shirt free, pulling her off balance so the only thing that stops her falling flat on her face is his arms. She tries to relax into his grip, tries to let herself go.

“Been so fucking needy today. That photo — nearly had me getting hard in the studio right in front of everyone, love,” he says, squeezing her wrists almost painfully. “And look how you answer the door, nearly naked for anyone walking on the street to see.” He shakes his head, clicking his tongue condescendingly. “Do you want to apologise for anything?”

She looks at him, pretends to think, and then shakes her head.

He sighs. “Of course not, you little brat.” His grip loosens. “Alright then. Go upstairs for me.”

She blinks at him.

“I’ll be up in a minute. Go on.” He spins her around and nudges her towards the stairs with a gentle push.

She glances over her shoulder at him before she goes and he only raises his eyebrows expectantly. She’s almost tempted to pull the back of the t-shirt down over her ass to cover herself, but that wouldn’t get her what she needs, and what she needs is Harry to take care of her—so she keeps her head bowed as she walks up the stairs, adding a little swing in her hips with each step just as the icing on the cake. She smiles when she hears his deep inhale from the hallway as he watches her the whole time.

Upstairs, she sits on the end of their bed with her hands in her lap, scratching at days-old nail polish she’ll need to redo soon. There’s a knot in her stomach that’s been twisting all day, stresses piling up and morphing into some ugly feeling she can’t shake, not without Harry’s help. She manages to peel all the bright pink colour off her left thumbnail while she waits.

It seems like forever before she hears Harry’s footsteps up the stairs but when she does, she straightens up. The sound of the door opening makes her jump in nervous shock. She flexes her fingers, trying to calm her jitters. It’s Harry. She needs him.

“Being such a brat today,” he says when he’s finally in front of her. “Aren’t you? Don’t know how to behave.” He sits beside her, squishing her cheeks with his thumb and forefinger. “Need me to teach you a lesson, hm?”

She nods at him, eyes moony. Yes, this is what she wants, needs from him—to let him take over for a little while, let him take out his frustration on her, help her let go of her own.

His grip softens a bit. “This okay, baby?” he asks more quietly.

She swallows. “Yeah.”

He leans forward and gives her a quick kiss. She feels like melting against the softness of his lips, pressing against her own, the mouth she knows so well. It’s a comfort in the mess that her mind is feeling like right now.

But he isn’t so gentle as he drags her over his lap a moment later, her face roughly pushed down into the mattress. His hand squeezes her ass, only barely covered by her panties, and her breath hitches.

“Count for me.”

“Yes sir,” she breathes, closing her eyes.

Her exhale is cut short by the force of his palm cracking against her skin, jolting her forward over his lap. The sting dissipates quickly, taking none of the tension inside her with it.

“One,” she says.

“Good girl.” His hand comes down on her again, harder this time.

She screws her eyes shut. “Two.”

It isn’t feeling like how she wants it to feel. She’s too tense, restless, her mind unwilling to float away under Harry’s touch. The pain, which usually is laced with something brilliant and exciting, is just pain today. But with all the mistakes she’s made today, all the things she messed up that have just added to her workload and her stress—maybe this is what she deserves. Punishments are called that for a reason.

So she stays where she is, her head lowered so Harry won’t see anything wrong. She gasps at the third, and it takes her a second to remember she needs to count. “Three,” she says, her voice shuddering.

Harry pauses and she fears she’s made him upset, spoken too quietly, taken too long—she can’t do anything right.

“Love,” he says. His hand comes to rest on her shoulder gently. “Are those good tears or bad tears?”

She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment and in the pause, realises her cheeks are wet. “Um,” she says. Her voice shakes.

Harry’s arm snakes underneath her and pulls her up, manoeuvring her so she straddles his lap and he can see her face. The crease between his brows is deep as his eyes dart over her face, his thumb coming to her cheek to brush a tear away.

She leans her head into his palm that was cracking down onto her skin just a minute ago and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

“What happened? When did it change?” he asks, his voice soft again, his character leaving.

She shrugs. She doesn’t trust herself to speak without crying more, and she feels stupid enough already.

“It’s alright, love,” he says, shifting so he can sit up straighter and pull her closer to his chest. He rubs her back, kissing her hair. “Let’s just rest for a moment, alright?”

She nods into his shoulder, hiding her face. His hand cradles the back of her head. The panic that she was feeling is dissolving into nothing. All day she felt so tense with so much twisting inside her, and she’d thought she could force it out painfully—she was wrong, of course, and now she feels awful for roping Harry into her misguided attempt to fix herself.

After a couple minutes, Harry taps her to get her to look up at him. “Why’d you want a punishment today?” he asks, without accusation.

She shrugs, raising her shoulders as high as she can and then letting them drop sharply. “Just felt like I needed it.”

He nods. He understands that sometimes she feels like this—needs to lose herself in playing a role for an evening, forget about real life and its responsibilities—because he knows the feeling too. She’s helped him in this way before. They take it in turns: give each other what they need, when they need it. “Wasn’t helpful today, though?” he prompts, his eyebrows raised sympathetically.

She shakes her head, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”

“Hey,” he says. He smiles a little bit and a shallow dimple appears in his cheek. “That’s fine. It’s just a game. We play it whenever you want to, we stop playing when you’re not enjoying it. That’s important, alright?”

“Yeah,” she says quietly. “Sorry.”

“Need to stop apologising, baby,” he tells her. “Just keep talking to me. I don’t want to hurt you.” He kisses her cheek and the gesture raises butterflies in her stomach, even still after all the months they’ve been together. It reminds her that he’s there for her, to look after her, to take care of her when she can’t do it for herself. His lips stay close to her skin as he asks, “How can I help, though, really?”

She buries her face back into his shoulder. “Dunno,” she says, her voice muffled. “Just need you.”

She feels his chin gently knock against the top of her head as he nods, his arms tightening around her again. “You’ve got me, baby. Always got me.”

. . . . .

thank you for reading! if you did like it, a reblog would be really appreciated as well as any feedback/comments you might have! you can find more of my writing on my masterlist.

#harry styles fic #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #fic

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amedetoiles · 3 years

Note

its been a year and just reading about the jiang sibs being happy is enough to make me SOB. THEY DESEREVED BETTER

It has been over 12 months since I fell into this hellhole, and I am still crying over Yunmeng siblings. I have no idea why I made this poor life decision, but it seems I am forever stuck bearing the consequences. I am sure there was a time in my life where I did not in fact spent a part of my waking hours crying over fictional sibling relationships and the tragedy of love your sibling so, so much yet being unable to save them, but alas, I no longer remember such peace. I am, however, enormously pleased and grateful to have had you all as company during this apocalypse. <3

In celebration of our constant agony, here is another compiled list of Yunmeng siblings/bros & co fics that I’ve read since my last rec list for all the anons in my inbox who have been asking for another list. Some of these I’ve rec’d individually as I’ve come across them but now it’s in a nice list for easy saving / reading! :)

For reference, my other rec lists are here and here.

in our respective ways ; an aging wound by @veliseraptor ; more gems from lise who really needs no introduction because everything she writes is perfect. jc and lwj searching for wwx for those 3 months during. post canon wwx and jc both tenuously trying to navigate the route to reconciliation.

display my heart for you to see by @souridealist ; jc-centric (chengqing / mature). an oldie but a goodie. this is mostly about jc and wq. post-canon if set in a world where jc secretly saves wq’s life. everything author writes is a goldmine of sheer mastery.

this blood in my mouth by @shanastoryteller ; sizhui-centric but the yunmeng bro content is glorious even if it’s a small part. i cannot articulate just how much i love this entire fic. sizhui is going through it, and i say he absolutely deserves to be angry for once.

lynchpin by @shanastoryteller ; canon-divergence. time traveling jc is one of my favorite tropes in the world. lots of meta opinions, but the yunmeng sibling content is amazing and everything i have ever indulgently wanted.

by any other name by @shanastoryteller ; canon-divergence au where wwx is gender-fluid and mxy performed the ritual too early leading to some problems. (keep the premise in mind esp if you’re not into that!) in any case, the yunmeng bros and jin ling relationship here is really good.

impossible be strange attempts by comfect ; very indulgent fix-it and i love it. jc crawls through the land of the dead to get his siblings back.

a grave so familiar by @the-first-refrain ; jc and wwx are both injured and stuck in a cave and are both just.. going through it. i wailed through the entire thing. the prose is amazing. jc hurts so good. he loves wwx so much. wwx loves him so much. trauma heavy references; tread softly with your heart.

the dock of the bay (wwx-centric) ; in the morning sun (sizhui-centric) ; still remain the same (jc-centric) by @lesyah ; post-canon character studies as basically everyone goes through it with some canon-typical demon kidnapping. not always the kindest take but love post-canon fics that allow characters to process and have unfair feelings about everything they’ve been put through. especially wwx who regardless of how good he is at moving and not holding grudges still deserves to be angry! the yunmeng bros reconciliation made my heart swell. there’s two other parts to this series that focus on lxc and lwj if you want to read.

just this once by sami ; jc is kidnapped and wwx comes to save him. i am SOFT. everything about this is too much.

utterly inevitable by sami ; post-canon. wwx decides to help by brazenly and unapologetically stomping all over xichen’s wounds and jc (finally) demands what is his. love that for them (i’m sorry xichen). this has xicheng in it and as a non-xicheng shipper, if i’m rec’ing it, you know it’s worth it.

five things that changed for jiang cheng after he regained his golden core (and one thing that never did) by @mikkeneko ; title says it all. it is so so good. i am still wailing on the floor over this one.

letters by @withbroombefore ; post-canon. realized while going through my previous rec lists that i’ve never added this to any of my lists. a mistake i must rectify because it’s so good! and sizhui getting to build a relationship with jiang cheng is just something that i need with my entire heart. there’s so much healing! everyone is moving forward and it is so amazing.

living ; lifeline by @withbroombefore ; canon-divergence. jyl and wwx live. rec’d these as soon as i read them and am definitely rec’ing them again because it is so so good. yunmeng siblings prioritizing each other. just 🥺

coda by @withbroombefore ; guanyin temple fix it. what we all deserved after watching these two dumbasses openly pine in the courtyard. there’s a sequel in the notes. also before i rec the author’s entire list of works, y’all should just go to their ao3 and read everything.

the trick is to keep breathing by @alessandriana ; assassination attempt on jc’s life in order to get to jin ling. literally everything i have ever wanted.

see me, feel me (listening to you) by ghost_honey ; wwx-centric. wwx gets cursed while on a night hunt and on brand doesn’t tell anyone about it because of his abysmal self esteem. juniors galore! plus jc telling him he’s a moron. wwx out here always seeing everything but the fact that everyone loves him.

happy reading! <3

#陈情令 #the untamed #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #yunmeng sibs #yunmeng shuangjie #fic rec #fic rec: mdzs #i'm sure there's more that i've missed but this should until the next time!#also sorry for hijacking your ask for a fic rec lists LOL D:#yunmeng-shuangjie #[ ask eve ]#!mine

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chemicalpink · 3 years

Text

☾✧゜BTS Tarot Reading: a peek into their S/O energy ☾✧゜

Pairing: none, this is a tarot/oracle reading.

A/N: I used the divine feminine deck for this reading. Please do remember that every tarot reader’s relationship with their decks are unique thus it may vary the interpretation of the cards. This reading is for entertainment purposes only; the energy channeled may refer to a present or future partner. Whatever outcomes of the reading doesn’t mean ultimate truth and we should really respect the member’s dating life as fans.

Kim Seokjin ☾✧゜

Mai Bhago: resources; warrior.

So i feel like this is someone that might have to fight for him

Someone that will stop at nothing to get him to open up.

Cause I mean sure, either way, Jin is so far up in the ‘people that will never be your boyfriend’ list with the way that BTS has grown but I feel like this is so much more than that.

I feel like

It’s not hard to get close to him, but it is hard to get him to open up to the idea of someone loving him for him and not for what he’s accomplished.

idk if that makes sense (?

Lakshmi: abundance

As soon as I laid eyes on this card I got the idea of someone with all that bread.

Not sure if it is inherited wealth/ wealthy family or self made

But definitely someone that has the necessary resources to live comfortably

And also this adds up to them being able to make Jin open up

Cause they are definitely not using him for money.

Which is a big relief for him.

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes.

Definitely someone that doesn’t run on the same circles as him.

I thought: hmmm maybe a fan (?

Or possibly someone that doesn’t necessarily has the time to date

But most definitely has the intention to love Seokjin with all their strength.

Min Yoongi ☾✧゜

Rita of Cascia: impossible causes

Hello we meet again.

But with a diferent connotation.

This is someone whos strong will puts us all to shame

Like really

Someone that gets their mind on something and will most definitely get it.

Very in tune with Yoongi’s energy.

Lalla: spoken words

I feel like this is someone that has gone through their life trying to heal

And succeeding

“I am the writer of my own story”

Some one that doesn’t fit into the ‘traditional’ way that they are supposed to live.

VERY straightforward.

I also thought of someone spiritual, a manifester of sorts.

Kali: mother of the universe.

LISTEN I’ve said how this one is someone non traditional

Now hear me out

I saw this card and thought well we are looking at someone not gender conforming.

I can even go as far as say that is is someone part of the LGBTQ+ community.

“It’s time to be the truth of who I am”

If you put 2 and 2 together, I can say that this is a healing presence for Yoongi, someone that will make him tune in into what he really likes, who he is.

Jung Hoseok ☾✧゜

Lalita: happiness

This made me so soft

Sunshine got his own sunshine

“Laughter leads me back to the light”

Very positive vibes for this one

One of those people that is impossible not to like

Just like him

Sarada Devi

“The presence of love is the absence of judgement”

This is definitely someone open-minded

In many ways

Someone that has no trouble with Hobi’s way of life

As in

He had to cancel last minute because there’s this thing at the studio? Sure no problem.

They don’t doubt one bit his love and devotion

And understands that they are not walking the same path

But rather walking each of their paths together.

Vajrayogini: liberation

A carefree soul

I feel like this someone is helping Hoseok feel free again

As in

Don’t get him wrong he loves doing what he does but sometimes your career ties you down

But all of those are gone with them.

A fourth card popped up: Mary Magdalene

Along with all those things, this someone is someone very down to Earth

They know where they stand

None of that getting their head get full of it for dating Hoseok

They are themselves and will stay themselves no matter what.

Kim Namjoon ☾✧゜

Marguerite Porete: mystic

Right off the bat, a soulmate connection

I’ll have to say soul family at least

A very divine love

Not like codependent but very very into each other

Shekinah

I feel like most probably this is a female, or someone that identifies as such

Also

Namjoon president? very much so

This is someone important

I see power

In like- a position wise type of way

I’ll go as far as to say a diplomat cause it’s what comes to mind

Or a business executive

Someone well respected within their own little world

Definitely someone Joon looks up to

Rita of Cascia: impossibles

What’s with these boys and this card

So again, I’m sensing fan or just someone that is not a celebrity

Public figure? sure

But like I said, they run just within their own circle

It also came to mind: foreigner

So yeah, i endorse my thought of a diplomat.

Park Jimin ☾✧゜

The Cosmic Egg

Listen I’m not surprised to get such a card from this man

This is indeed a soulmate connection

Also, filled with lots of love

But mostly like- demonstrations of love

I don’t wanna say they’re that couple full of PDA

but it’s what comes to mind

Teresa of Avila

DO NOT QUOTE ME ON THIS OKAY

But I feel like this is an already existing relationship

they keep to themselves

a very NON PUBLIC relationship

I feel like they don’t feel the need to announce it to make it more real

They vibin’

a very soft and chill connection tbh

Machig Labdron

So I feel like these two have known each other for long

This is someone that Jimin has helped through hard times

Chimchim is a healer within so I sense that he has helped them

“I see light in my own darkness”

Also I feel like they’ve had a troubled past that has turned into love

Jimin was the light that helped them see their true lovable self.

Kim Taehyung ☾✧゜

Mira Bai: true freedom

Okay so this is someone VERY independent

Although they love Tae to death, they know to love themselves first

I can see Tae being a bit intimidated by this way of thinking at first

But learn later that this is his type of person

Yeshe Tsogyal

It came to mind an academic

Whether it is a teacher or an investigator

That academia vibe

A true intellectual

Very curious about life and averything that surrounds them

Just like Tae

Tae most likely learns A LOT from this relationship

And is very fascinated by their brain

Kali

“I release all that doesn’t serve me”

This someone knows what they want

And there is just no way around it

Like the first card said, they love Tae but life plans are life plans

Someone that loves to walk their own path

A very grown-up vibe to them

And listen I don’t wanna fall into daddy/mommy issues

really

But I’m gonna go ahead and say this is some type of inner child healing for Tae

Two very similar POVs but with SO DIFFERENT perspectives

Both curious, but Tae’s comes from a child-like place whereas his s/o views it as something greater, the purpose of the universe type of way.

Jeon Jungkook ☾✧゜

Sehknet

This card was very straightforward with the message

Someone that has been through shit

Jungkook is their well-deserved break at all the trials that the universe has put them through.

“I am pure strength”

I also feel like this is someone that tends to be an avid activist

VERY VERY passionate

and definitely tired of everyone’s bullshit

an old soul, VERY VERY OLD

“I honor my anger by giving voice to it”

Pope Joan

WHEN I TELL U

this is someone spiritual to the BONE

“Soul is limitless”

I got the ‘I will turn the world upside down to find you’ vibe too

They know Jungkook is their person

And honestly? They are thriving to just watch how the universe is trying to apologize to them by putting Jungkook on their path

Someone very wise, more so in the sense of life than academic type

Parvati

THIS IS A PAST LIFE CONNECTION

like- really really had it coming for both of them

“I am a love that doesn’t leave”

They are also very very committed to this connection

They put their 110% spiritual self on this

I sensed the ‘healer meets healer’ type of connection once they meet

Also

Since this is a very old soul I feel like their soul journey is almost over and Jungkook is kind of a legacy for their learnings.

As always I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to request any other general tarot reading! Have a great day! I promise I’m working on all my other requests, this reading just suddenly came to me and i just had to do it.

#bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #hyunglinenetwork #kwritersworldnet #btswriterscollective #bts tarot #bts astrology #bts tarot reading #bts imagines #bts imagine #bts headcanon #bts scenarios

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calltomuster · 3 years

Text

Star Wars Fic Recs Part the Fourth

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list] [third fic rec list]

Been a few weeks since I've done one of these and I've read/reread some great fics recently so let me share them with you now!

And I Fear Nothing by @maiseey (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 11/? chapters, 43.4k words) Picture this: I am sitting in the parking lot of my local grocery store, having just bought a load of perishables. I get the email that And I Fear Nothing has just been updated. What do I do: run home to preserve the food I just paid for, or sit in my car and read the new chapter right away? The answer is obvious, of course! That is exactly the situation I found myself in last week when chapter 11 dropped and I did in fact choose to read it in spite of my groceries, that's how much I love this fic. In this fic, Obi-Wan and Cody are raising Luke and Leia together on Tatooine, and they've got so much trauma, and new + old wounds, and love for each other and the children they're raising that it both warms your heart and tears it apart. But that's not all, this fic expands beyond just the small home in the middle of the Jundland Wastes and explores Ahsoka and Rex and their journey to de-chip as many clones as possible. I love this fic because it doesn't shy away from hard conversations, but it does it in a way that makes you want to cry and give everyone involved a hug. Plus, there are some fantastic minor clone characters that you will 100% want to die for by the time you finish reading. Cannot recommend this fic enough.

Obligate by @communistkenobi (gen, one-shot, 23.9k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Just when you thought the Deception arc didn't have enough pain, this AU sees Anakin fake his death instead of Obi-Wan! My heart is physically ripped out of my chest just thinking about this fic, so imagine what it'd do to you actually reading it. Anything @communistkenobi writes is so well-done and I've gone through his works list on AO3 multiple times, but somehow I missed this when it was first posted and it was like a wonderfully delightful surprise when I ran into it the other day. So, so good. Highly recommend!

Moirai by damonkey (gen, WIP, 4/? chapters, 9.2k words, Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon) All I can really say about this fic without giving anything away is that it's a Phantom Menace AU and it's so intriguing. The author is very deliberate in having a vague summary and only tagging as the story progresses, so I truly have no idea what's ahead of me but it's so -- as I said -- intriguing that I'm happy to strap into the ride. Ahhhh I'm skimming through the fic and there are so many things I want to mention but I don't want to give anything away!

Almost Home by @frunbuns (gen, one-shot, 5.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) You know, every time I recc a Modern AU I'm like "I don't usually like Modern AUs but..." and then proceed to gush over the fic. I went and checked and I've recced a Modern AU on almost every fic rec list I've made! Maybe I do like Modern AUs?? Or maybe the fics are just that good -- and this fic is definitely that good. In this fic, the first of a planned series of fics set in a modern Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan is reeling from the loss of his adoptive father Qui-Gon and has to care for a young Anakin. Ooooooof. Definitely hits you right in the feels, this one. Love the non-chronological storytelling too!

Naked and Not Paid by biscuitlevitation (Obi-Wan/212th Attack Battalion, WIP, 6/? chapters, 14.9k words) This fic is essentially ~15k words of the clones thirsting over Obi-Wan and it is the funniest thing I have read all year. I'm not kidding, I just read the last chapter which features space-church-lady!Anakin and I laughed so hard I cried. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I promise you will have a good time reading this fic. And if the tag "Obi-Wan Kenobi/212th Attack Battalion" puts you off, let me just say there's no sex in this at all, it's just thirst. And it's hilarious.

Full Disclosure by @trixree (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 2/3 chapters, 7.4k words) ROTS AU in which the Force bonds Obi-Wan has formed with a few members of the 212th save them from the chip and Order 66, but it doesn't stop the devastation from happening on a mass scale and they all have to try and deal with Mustafar and Luke and Leia. This fic manages to be both extremely soft and extremely gut-wrenching at the same time, and I wish I could leave more kudos. Full disclosure (get it, little pun there for ya), I will be dying until the final chapter comes out. Time to go listen to Olivia Rodrigo and reread this fic and just live in my feels.

Thirteen Days by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (gen, one-shot, 4.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Post-Zygerria arc, Anakin dresses an unconscious Obi-Wan's injuries and struggles. Ahhhh this fic is one of my favorite Zygerria arc fics, and given that that's my favorite arc, that's saying a lot! Obi-Wan doesn't say a word in this fic, but his presence is very much there, if you know what I mean. And the descriptions of injuries here are pretty graphic at times, but it's so good that you'll want to keep reading even if you have to do it through the fingers covering your eyes.

brother, let me be your shelter by @kenobilovebot (gen, one-shot, 1.6k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic packs so much tenderness in a short amount of words. It covers an AU in which Obi-Wan's issues from Zigoola never really resolve, and Anakin finds out when -- well, you'll just have to read for yourself. I love Zigoola because it is such an excellent whumpfest for poor Obi-Wan and this fic is great for that, but also highlights Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship.

A Padawan At War (Again) series by @itstimeforstarwars (gen, 3 parts, 100k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) In this series, Obi-Wan and Anakin are transported from The Phantom Menace into the Clone Wars and have to deal with all that comes with it: fighting wars, discovering a Padawan you never knew you had, dueling your grandmaster who apparently is a Sith Lord now(?!) and all the rest. This series is a great ride, and I look forward to every update. Note: the first fic in this series is a one-shot that was expanded upon, and it drops you in media res. The second fic is a prequel that shows how they got to that point, and the third fic is the sequel that shows what comes after.

The Desert Storm series by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning (complete, 24 parts, 1.144 million words) There has never been a better time to start reading this series. If you read Star Wars fics on AO3, then you've definitely seen the Desert Storm series before, but maybe you were daunted by the high word count, or felt like it would be too much effort to go all the way to the beginning of a series but couldn't just jump in halfway. Let me tell you, it's 100% worth it, and now is the perfect time to read this series if you haven't already. This series is complete, but it turns out it's all just Act 1 of the larger story, which will continue in the Rise and Fall series. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning is taking a break right now before starting the next series, so you have ample time to get caught up, and YOU REALLY SHOULD. Let me tell you, this series had me on the edge of my seat more than any other piece of media I can remember. With the most recent chapters, where everything that has been building for a million words came to a head, I would get so worked up after each chapter that beforehand I would have to queue up calming things to watch afterwards, and it still wouldn't be enough and I'd be too full of feelings to get anything done the rest of the day. Seriously, this series is amazing. And if you HAVE read it before but haven't reread, now is the perfect time for that as well. I've reread this series multiple times and it's so rewarding because the author sprinkled in so many hints as to what will come that you only understand the second (or third) time around. I know I've written a lot for this rec but this is a long series and it deserves it. Go read! Now!

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

#star wars #fic recs #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #commander cody #qui-gon jinn #commander rex #jedi order #sw tcw

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nowandajenn · 3 years

Text

Blue Christmas- Eight

Pairing: Chris Evans/OC Kelly

Summary: After almost three years of marriage, everyone would tell you that Chris and his wife Kelly are the most stable, solid couple they know. But behind closed doors, things are tense as they keep trying for a baby, to no avail. When a secret threatens to shake their solid marriage to it’s core, will they be able to pick up the pieces?

I do not consent to have my content, whether it be this story or anything else of my creation, posted by a third party on any other platform other than right here without my permission. This blog is 18+ and is not intended for minors. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Heed the warnings.

Warnings: mentions of cheating, smut, language, angst, mentions of miscarriage. If any of this is triggering to you, do not read.

A/N: This is going to be very dialogue heavy, and will have flashbacks of the night that Chris cheated and everything that happened. Flashbacks will be in italics. Just a warning, this chapter is a BEAST. There’s a lot to unpack, and it’s going to be super emotional.

December 29

Chris watches from his seat in the comfortable leather recliner in our living room as I twist my wedding and engagement rings around on my finger. It’s a nervous little habit that I do without even really realizing it or thinking about it. A million thoughts cross his mind as he sits silently, waiting for me to say something.

After taking a few deep breaths to try and steel myself for the conversation that I KNOW that Chris and I need to have, I finally look up from the floor and at him.

“Do you want a divorce?” Okay, the thousand different times I pictured this conversation happening in my head, that was definitely NOT one of the ways. Apparently my mouth and brain aren’t communicating very well today.

Chris looks up at me, his expression aghast.

“Wha-.......” he tries to speak, but is too stunned to even form the words.

“Is that why you cheated? You don’t want to be with me anymore, so you went somewhere else for whatever is it that you weren’t getting from me?”

“No! Jesus Christ, no! I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I can’t imagine my life without you. No, I don’t want a divorce.” he tells me.

“Okay, if that’s not it, then you have to help me out here. Because I don’t understand what possible reason you could have for cheating. It had to be something that I did. Or something I didn’t do. I need you to tell me what happened. Because until I have all the facts and I understand what the hell happened, we can’t move forward.”

He sits forward in the chair and sighs.

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“I want you to tell me what happened that night after we FaceTimed. I want to know what happened between then and the next morning.” I tell him.

“You KNOW what happened.” he says miserably.

I shake my head. “No, I know the end result. I want you to walk me through every single thing that happened that night. Everything you were thinking, everything you did.”

“Why? What good is that going to do? What’s the goddamn point? How is me telling you everything that happened going to help ANYTHING? All it’s going to do is hurt you more, and I can’t do that. I won’t.”

“The point is, if we have even the smallest hope of getting through this intact, with our MARRIAGE intact, I need to understand this. I need to know. I need to know, because when I go to sleep at night, all I can see in my head is all the things that I imagine happened that night. And I need to know if what actually happened is better or worse than what I can imagine happened. I have a right, as your wife, to know what you did.”

Chris looks up, silently pleading with you to not make him do this, but he knows that you’re right. You do deserve to know, even if it’s going to devastate you.

“After we got off the phone, I had to go right back into interviews and there was two more photo calls we had to do, so by the time we got done it was about 7:30 that night. I was distracted the whole time. I hated that we fought, and I felt like an asshole, and I just wanted to call you back and apologize, but I didn’t have time. Plus, I figured that we both probably needed a little bit of time to cool down. I told myself that I was going to call you that night before I went to bed so we could talk more and I could apologize to you. We all got out of there, and Cate and Robert and the rest of them wanted to go to dinner, so we came back to the hotel, changed, and then went out to eat.” Chris tells me.

“What time did you get back from dinner?”

“Around 10, I think. It couldn’t have been much later than that. Everyone else was talking about going out and finding a bar or a club to go to, but I just wanted to come back to the hotel and relax. I wasn’t in the mood to be around a lot of people.”

I pull my feet up on the couch and tuck them under me.

“Okay, so you got back to the hotel, and then what did you do?”

For as tired as he was, Chris couldn’t relax. He tried taking a hot shower, laying in bed watching TV, browsing social media, and flipping through pictures on his phone. Finally, after about 45 minutes and getting more and more keyed up and anxious, he decides to go down to the hotel bar.

When he walks in, the place is empty except for an older couple seated down at the end and the bartender. Chris slides himself onto one of the stools and the bartender makes her way over to him.

“Thank God. A friendly face.” she says with a smile.

Chris glances down the bar at the couple. “They seem pretty friendly.” he remarks.

“Yeah, but they’ve been here for an hour and they’re literally babying their drinks, and aren’t much for conversation that doesn’t involve each other. I’m bored out of my mind.”

She stick her hand out. “I’m Jo.”

Chris reaches across the bar and shakes her hand with his own. “Chris. Nice to meet you.”

“So, Chris, what’s your poison?”

“What was her name?” I ask him. He just referred to her as “the bartender” and “she”.

He runs his hand down his face and over his beard.

“I don’t......I honestly can’t remember. It was one of those boys names for a girl. You know.....Alex or Max or James.......I don’t......I can’t remember.”

I cover my face with my hands and take a deep breath. I want to scream already, and he’s not even deep into the story. I shake my head slightly.

“You slept with this girl, and you don’t even remember her NAME.” I say softly.

Chris hangs his head.

“Keep going.”

She pours him another measure of whiskey, along with a shot for herself. They clink glasses and swallow the amber liquid, letting it burn it’s way down.

“So what did you and your wife fight about?” she asks him.

Chris sighs.

“It’s......it’s complicated.”

“Hey, I’m a bartender, which means that I’m a really great listener. It’s practically a job requirement. You might feel better if you talk about it.”

“We’re trying to have a baby.”

“Soo....what’s the problem. Trying is the fun part!”

“We’ve been trying for a year and a half almost, and nothing’s happening. She’s perfect; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her that would keep her from getting pregnant, but it’s just not happening. And we both want a baby so bad, and the look on her face when......it fucking kills me.”

He knows that he shouldn’t be telling a complete stranger all of this, especially considering who he is, but the alcohol has loosened his tongue, and if he doesn’t spill his guts to someone, he’s going to explode.

Jo puts a soft, warm hand over his.

“I’m sorry, That has to be tough. For both of you.” she says softly.

“I mean, I guess I never thought that it would take actual work, you know? I assumed that ‘hey, if we just keep having sex, eventually she’s going to get pregnant’ and it would be easy. She’s getting scared and fed up and talking about adoption and fertility doctors, and I hate seeing her so stressed out and upset, and I kind of just.....I said some things and made it worse and I feel like a complete fucking jackass.”

“What if you guys can’t have kids?”

“As much as I want to have kids with her, I don’t need them to be happy. As long as I have Kelly in my life, I’ll be perfectly happy. Do I want to be a dad? Yeah, absolutely. But there are so many kids out there that need good homes, so there are other options, but I don’t think that we’re there yet, you know?”

I get up and storm out of the room with Chris right on my heels.

“Kelly, wait, please.....”

He touches my arm and I spin around to face him, and the look in my eyes makes him fall back a step.

I’m so pissed off and hurt right now I could spit nails.

“You......you told her.....EVERYTHING. You told her.....EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING, Chris! Do you even......do you even fucking understand what you did? Like.....”

I squat down close to the floor and put my head between my knees. My heart is pounding and I’m so worked up that I’m afraid I’m going to pass out if I don’t calm down. And I’m not going anywhere or doing anything until I get the whole damn story.

“Look, I know-”

I look up at him incredulously.

“No! No, you don’t know! You don’t know shit! You fucking betrayed me, in every single sense of the word. You didn’t just fuck her, you told her, a complete stranger, about me. About us trying to have a baby. You told her about things that you never even fucking bothered to tell me! Do you realize that she could go to the press? She could go and spill all of these juicy little secrets that you spilled to her over shots of Jack and have herself a nice little pay day.”

“Kelly, you wanted to know what happened that night, so I’m telling you what happened, despite everything inside of me screaming at me not to. I’m not going to lie to you or keep things from you. You wanted to know everything.” Chris says.

I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth so hard that my jaw hurts.

“I can’t look at you right now. I need a break.” I tell him, grabbing my jacket. I grab Dodger’s leash off the peg in the hallway and call for him.

Dodger trots over, tongue lolling out of his mouth, happy to be going on a walk.

“I’ll be back in a while.”

Forty five minutes later, I’m in the utility room stripping off my wet clothes after getting Dodger dry and wiping off his paws.

Chris stops pacing the kitchen when he sees me walking through the house in my bra and underwear.

“What happened to your clothes?” he asks.

“Dodger saw a squirrel and got excited and kind of dragged me through a snow bank.” I sigh. I throw my clothes in the dryer and make my way into our room to get changed.

“Dodge, come on.....” Chris admonishes. Dodger just jumps up on the bed and curls up.

I throw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a blue Patriots hoodie that’s hung over the back of the chair in our room and sit down on the side of the bed.

“I want to know the rest.” I tell Chris.

He sits down heavily on the end of the bed.

“No, you don’t.”

I swallow thickly. “You’re right. I don’t. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re going to tell me anyway.”

Hours pass with Jo and Chris laughing and talking and flirting back and forth, until it’s 1am and the bar closes for the night.

“Thanks for sticking around and hanging out tonight. I think I would have died of sheer boredom if you hadn’t.” Jo laughs softly. She offered to walk him back to his room as he was pretty well drunk and a little unsteady on his feet.

“It was no problem. I didn’t really want to be alone tonight to be honest. I used to do really well on my own. I was used to it, and then......I wasn’t alone.” Chris tells her.

Once they reach his room, they linger outside for a few minutes, both of them not really wanting the night to end. Jo steps closer to him, knowing exactly what she wants and completely unashamed about it.

“You should kiss me.” she says softly, looking up at him with big doe eyes. She places her hands on his chest and instead of immediately backing away like he should have, he leans into her touch.

Chris closes his eyes as he feels his mouth go dry and a strange fluttery feeling in his stomach. He hasn’t really felt this way since....

He opens his eyes and breathes out deeply. “I can’t. I’m married. I’m married and I’m insanely in love with my wife.”

“So? You should kiss me anyway. I can tell you want to. You’ve been flirting with me all night.” she says, taking a step closer. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise. You need a way to release all this tension you’ve got, and I’m more than willing to help you out anyway I can.”

Before his brain can scream at him to stop, he’s wrapping his arms around her and covering her mouth with his, kissing her soundly. It’s a battle of teeth and tongues, both of them trying to take control from the other. Without breaking apart, Chris manages to get his key card out of his pocket and gets the door open, pushing both of them through it and slamming it behind them.

“This never goes beyond this room. We never talk about this ever again.” Chris gasps, pulling away from her just long enough to get the words out.

“Absolutely.” she agrees.

Clothes are torn off and tossed to the floor in a frenzy, and as soon as Chris drops his pants and boxers, Jo sinks to her knees and takes him in her mouth, swallowing him almost all the way down.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Christ, yes, just like that.” he moans out.

He brings his right hand to her hair, holding it in a makeshift ponytail while his left hand goes to her shoulder.

She almost makes him lose his mind with the things she can do with her tongue, and within minutes, he’s fucking her face roughly as spit runs down her chin and tears are springing to her eyes from the assault on her throat, but she loves it. She has the man she’s fantasized about for years shoving his cock down her throat, and she’s never been more turned on in her life. She smirks to herself as she wonders if his wife ever sucks him off like THIS.

When he can’t stand it anymore, Chris pulls her off his dick and takes a few deep breaths.

“I need a condom.”

“Right. I have one in my purse.” she tells him as she reaches for her bag and finds it and hands it to him.

“Get on the bed. On your hands and knees.” he says roughly. While her mouth was wrapped around him, he was mesmerized and couldn’t look away, but now he finds that he doesn’t even want to look at her face. He rolls the condom over his cock, giving it a few strokes before sinking into her from behind.

Tears stream down my face as I process all of what Chris just told me, and I can’t even BREATHE with how devastated I feel. It’s like a hole just got punched through my chest. I try and take a breath in, but it turns into a strangled sob and I drop my head into my hands and just let it out.

Chris swallows thickly, wiping away his own tears as he watches me fall apart across from him, wishing that he could do something.....ANYTHING to take all the pain away. To go back and undo everything that he did so you wouldn’t hurt. All he feels is deep, unrelenting shame and he knows in his gut that if you asked for a divorce after hearing all of his sins laid bare, he wouldn’t be surprised or even have the right to be devastated. He made his bed.

I feel bile rising in my throat, and I stumble to my feet and race to the downstairs bathroom, falling to my knees and vomiting painfully as the image of my husband kissing this woman and fucking her run through my head. I barely notice Chris come into the bathroom until I feel him pulling my hair back and securing it with a hair tie, and rubbing my back softly. I can’t even find the breath or the energy to tell him to get away from me and drop dead.

I’m so damn tired. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this level of physical and mental exhaustion before. I sink back into the pillows a little more, and look over at Chris. Neither one of us have said a word since he picked me up off the bathroom floor and stood there with his arm around my waist as I brushed my teeth. That was 45 minutes ago.

“It was just sex?” I ask.

He exhales. “It was just sex. It was just once.”

I look back up at the ceiling and try and make sense of everything.

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it. I don’t understand why you would sleep with another woman.”

“I-I don’t know. I was lonely because we were fighting, and I missed you so goddamn much, and I was afraid of what was happening to us with all of the stress and I just......I got drunk, and I did a horrible thing. I did a horrible thing, and I wish that I could take it back. I wish I could take it back so bad it hurts. But I can’t. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life.” Chris says.

I lift my eyes to meet his. “You were lonely? That’s your excuse? You were lonely, and you were upset. So you stuck your dick in another woman.”

I stand at the kitchen sink and drain a glass of water in record time, and refill it. Turns out crying all day and then puking can kind of dehydrate you. I can sense Chris behind me, even though he doesn’t say anything.

“Two years ago, a couple of weeks after you left for Africa to start shooting the movie, I found out I was pregnant. We hadn’t even officially started trying yet, so it came as a pretty big surprise. But I was so happy, and I couldn’t wait to tell you. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone, especially when you were so far away, so I was going to surprise you when you came home. I had it all planned out. I practiced telling you standing in front of the bathroom mirror, just so I could see the stupid happy look on my face.”

I feel tears prick my eyes, and I swallow down the sob that I feel threatening to come out. I turn towards Chris, and the look on his face is heartbreaking.

“What?” he breathes out.

“I was at a job.....I was shooting a birthday party for a little girl who was turning one. All I could think about was that that was going to be us eventually, and it made me so happy. Everything was fine, but then I started having horrible pain in my stomach. It got so bad that I collapsed, and the parents called 911 when they realized that I was bleeding. They did an ultrasound at the hospital, but they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. I had already miscarried. You don’t know anything about feeling lonely until you’re by yourself laying on a table with your feet in stirrups while a doctor cleans out your uterus.”

Chris is sunk down in one of the kitchen chairs with his hand over his mouth and tears running down his face. This is the first time he’s hearing any of this.

“Why didn’t-” his voice cracks, and he takes a minute and clears his throat before he tries again. “Why the hell didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come home!”

“Chris, you were 8,000 miles away from home. There wasn’t anything you could do. It was too late. They had to do the procedure as soon as possible. I didn’t.....I hadn’t told anyone else that I was pregnant. And I didn’t want to call your mom or sisters because I didn’t want them to find out. I knew if they found out they would call you, and you would be devastated. And I couldn’t do that to you when you were so far away. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was trying to protect you.”

The sound of his fist slamming against the heavy oak table makes me jump.

“And what about over the last two years? Huh? Don’t you think that I had a right to know? Don’t you think I had the right as your husband, to be there with you? To comfort you? To mourn with you? To even have a fucking clue about what happened?”

I take a deep breath.

“You did. You should have been there. You should have been there with me to hold my hand and cry with me and tell me that it was going to be okay, even though it was a lie. But you weren’t. You were doing your job. I don’t know if you realize it, but when you leave for work or press or whatever it is that you have to leave me for, you’re not the only one who’s lonely. You’re not the only one who has to deal with the silence. But you don’t see me going out and fucking someone else.”

Tears start to swim in my eyes again, and I suddenly feel like if I don’t get out of the house right now, I’m going to suffocate. I’ve been in here with Chris literally all day while we picked apart his affair, and I’m exhausted. I’m hurt and emotional and talking about the baby that we lost just made everything worse.

“I’m gonna go. I just.....I can’t handle anything else today. I know you’re probably really pissed off at me right now, and honestly, the feeling is mutual. Things are already about as bad as they can be, so I’m gonna leave before we have a chance to make it worse.”

The last thing I see before I walk out the door is Chris sitting at the table with his head in his hands, sobbing while Dodger sits on the floor next to him, whining in distress.

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#blue christmas #chris evans #chris evans x wife #chris evans x kelly evans #rpf #cheating #angst #miscarriage #infertility #back to that night

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life-rewritten · 3 years

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TRUE BEAUTY; TRUE SCARS VS FALSE MASKS

I'm actually surprised I have a new Korean drama to fall for before the end of the year. After testing out what's available, True Beauty feels like the one for me. I was going to watch it regardless of if it made me analyse because it's directed by Extraordinary You PD. I love how he shows the plot of his shows, his romances are always soft yet angsty, and they make you feel so many emotions whilst laughing and smiling and perhaps swooning over certain second leads and protagonists. After Start-Up I swore of love triangles, and yet True Beauty comes with just that, yet I'm having so much fun watching this show for the past 3 weeks, and it's been a ride. It's precisely what the title says it's focused on True Beauty. The actual meaning of beauty and perspectives on what is truly beautiful and what's not, the psychological trauma of being someone perceived as not socially pleasing to the world, and being forced to hide to survive the harsh environment. It's an emotional look into another teenage drama, full of angst, romance, self-love, and self-acceptance. I'm enjoying it a lot, and my heart has been tugged at each episode, so I'm not saying True Beauty is my full focus, but I have spoken about it here, and from episode 5 and 6, I somehow have a lot to say. So let's get into it

True Scars vs False Masks

True Beauty episode 5 and 6 focus on the effect of PTSD and trauma symptoms which each of our main characters have to go through. Apart from Seojun, who has his own frustrations and pains connected to the overarching plot, but not as pronounced as these three.

Kyung, Suho and Soojin are triggered by certain parts of their memories, making them afraid, broken down, and self-hating. The first thing to mention when focusing on Kyung's ideology of true beauty. Kyung may think that being seen as beautiful is the only way to make her self survive her own past traumas, but the two perceived beautiful people who are praised and known for having everything by their peers, are just as scared, suffering and hurt by the world as she is. All by the cruelty and insensitiveness of different people in their lives.

Ju Kyung: The mask of Beauty

Kyung is forced to relieve yet again her trauma as a bully victim when she bumps into the girl. The very bully that caused her to finally break down and wear her mask for protection. One thing to notice in episode 5/6 as she takes care of Seojuns sister; she realised that wearing a mask isn't the right way to live comfortably and she questions why she can't have the same confidence and inspiration in her self to be brave. Which is what people would quickly want to say about her situation, just love your self, only trust your self, just be your self. Still, as we've seen from the past episodes, the reason is that when her mask is uncovered, and she's her true self, her past comes to find her and the people who cruelly lowered her down to nothing before their eyes, who proceeded to hurt and abuse her because of how she looks. The girl who likes to emotionally have control over Kyung's self-esteem like a leash she can't escape from, people like her that can't stand to see Kyung be happy with her skin, is why it's even more painful when Suho tells her that he's doing all he does for her as pity it's heart-breaking. It makes her feel even more inferior because she's being a burden to the guy, she's come to have feelings for, and it's still because of her looks in a way. Because he's the first person who knows her real face under her mask of makeup.

It’s not just the bullies that do this to her, that make her feel so ashamed and guilty for wanting to just be her self. People who she’s close to, her ex best friend betrayed her because of this issue, (to avoid being bullied) and her mother is harsh and cruel beyond words, always breaking her self esteem, ignoring her child’s plight when she could actually be of help to her, and mocking her every time just cause she isn’t smart. Her mother proceeds to not understand the real trauma in her daughter’s life, not even knowing or taking it seriously that there was a time where Kyung almost gave up everything and took her life, just because of how exhausted she was by what society was making her think about her true self.

When Suho said that I was so agitated and disappointed. When cruel and forced to wear his own mask of coldness, Suho can be harsh and ruthless. However, it still felt problematic to me because he knows how sensitive Kyung is about her looks, how much she suffered because of it, he's the one who saw her almost choose to take her own life because of it and he's also seen her try desperate attempts to avoid it. To cruelly say it's because of pity that he's been doing all he did by her side and she's being a bother; it's upsetting and just annoying. I'm annoyed that he still refuses to communicate with her properly about it, tell her it's not because of pity and she's not a problem.

To come to her house/ accept her mother's invitation and act like he's not told her she's a burden is just upsetting and it's exhausting because she doesn't want to keep on feeling like she owes him because he's hiding her secret about her looks. It's also sad because you realise that it must have broken her heart more because when she felt she had someone on her team who saw her without her mask and chose to be there for her, help her and understand her, this same person threw her away saying she was a weight to him. When she finally felt she was able to be herself and like her self without her mask, she deserved to be free without making up, especially his last words to her before he switched himself off, was that she was beautiful without makeup. That one quote, that one stance, and one act of support for her meant everything. Yet her one source of defence and her foundation to bounce back from her worries and fears rejected her and told her she wasn't important; her presence was upsetting him.

Again Kyung is forced to think that what she needs to do to survive is to be beautiful to wear her mask; it's the only way she will be accepted. That's what Suho harsh words did to her, and despite that, she still ran to him to be his defence and protection. They both do the same thing for each other; if you notice Suho protects her always when she's at her worst broken down and without her mask of beauty. Suho is protected by her finding him and literally shielding him with her warmth and comfort letting him know he's not alone and he's understood.

Suho: The mask of Coldness

Before I focus on their dynamic though back to masks and scars. The reason why Kyung runs to Suho is where the plot for his PTSD symptoms comes in. Suho without the act is also broken, guilty and tired of people refusing to listen to him. His issue is that whilst people see his richness and privileges as a positive for him, they're his source of guilt and pain. His mask is to push people off and not expect or trust things with people, because of this he's seen as the guy who's unreachable in a good way, attractive and has it all and everyone wants his attention and needs to beg for it. His mask works for him, so he doesn't seem vulnerable, and he doesn't let people easily break him.

But we know he's exceptionally vulnerable because of the guilt of Seyeon having symptoms of PTSD, panic attacks, broken and self-hating. The cruelness of the world isn't attacking him like Kyung, but it's using him as a tool to hurt others well that's what he believes anyway. His dad is powerful and intense and leads to people feeling broken as Seyeon, and they take drastic measures to end it. The school praises him and lets him get away with stuff if he gets in a scuffle but they hurt others more harshly just by looking at their background and status, they did this to Seojun when they got in a fight in episode 4.

No matter what happened, Suho has never been able to get away from the price that came with his reputation and status. It cost him so much at the end it made him lose his closest friend, and it made him lose himself to the guilt of not being able to be the person everyone wanted him to be for not being able to reach that 'divine'' Suho reputation people give him.

For him, being with him hurts people, and so he pushes Kyung away harshly and wears a mask of coldness and harshness to prevent people wanting or expecting things from him and to make sure he wallows in his guilt alone. Without his mask, Suho is just a boy lost, frightened and traumatised. He's broken by what's happened, and with Kyung not only does she help him, but she also does when they first meet.

She unintentionally provides him with a way to speak out his feelings and save her the way he couldn't do to his friend, but also she's there for him even during times she shouldn't be; she runs and finds him, she lets him cry and breakdown, and she understands him with a few words. She knows what it's like to be afraid and broken, and she knows why it's like to feel like no one understands your pain.

Both she and Suho understand each other because they've been hurt and exhausted each time something from the past comes to remind them of the guilt of being who they are and wallowing in self-hate and disgust. It's so heartbreaking, but they both run to each other time and time again at their most needed moment.

Soo Jin: The mask of Strength

Someone else with the same issues that also proves to Kyung that the beauty she craves/ the reputation to be seen as having it all isn't great; is Soo Jin. Whilst on the surface she’s incredible, she’s powerful, fights for everyone, protects Kyung like a knight in shining armour, is protective of all her friends, uses her strengths to help others, and ensure people aren’t looked down on, or broken down.

Soo-Jin is also put into the same situation as Kyung and Suho, she's also broken down mentally, physically and emotionally. She's had her self esteem be destroyed repeatedly; for never getting to the top except she is always on top. She's the girl who has everything, like Suho her mask is the girl who has everything sorted, she's kind but harsh to the right people, she's protective because she doesn't like bullies and cruelty. She's intelligent and also beautiful naturally as Kyung puts it.

Still, her mask of strength is unveiled when you realise she's forced to put up with a bigger bully her own father, he's cruel, abusive and degrades her by physical violence. It's heart-breaking. To have the control, she repeatedly tries to wash her hands clean to the point they're raw and dry when she stressed and terrified. When she's broken and scared, she tries to restart again, washes her hands clean and starts again making her self anew, making her mind anew, and becoming stronger.

Her washing her hands mindlessly is the only time we see her without her mask, and no one can see her scars on the apparent parts they're hidden on her hands dry and cracked and easily misunderstood as dryness or mistake. Easily the part of the body that's not noticed at first.

Cruelty, Scars and Trauma

That's the thing with scars in this show and PTSD. Kyung's mask covers up the acne scars that people have hurt her because of. Yet now those scars are actively hidden under her makeup and guise of beauty, she has those external scars but also mental scars about how she looks she's been forced to a mindset where seeing her self in the mirror automatically gives her shivers, makes her terrified and go into self-hating phase. She's been forced to hide who she truly is because that was taken away from her by bullies because of her looks.' it just sucks and hurts.

Suho's mask covers his internal scars and burdens placed on him, you won't think he's broken or hurting from his past because his mask of coldness which makes everyone think he uses the status and reputation for his strength instead of loathing it. Suho's internal scars have made him become someone who's closed off, distrustful and harsh sometimes and no one understands it, they take it the wrong way, staying away from him. For example Seojun it's Suho's mask that made him think Suho was despicable and felt guiltless when in reality every single word SeoJun said to Suho about wanting him to never be happy until after he dies, about making sure he never has a good time because of Seoyeon just drives deeper with that self-hate. Disgust, Suho has for himself; it's like Seojun keeps repeatedly stabbing his wounds all over again. When he appears the issues increase even more if you've noticed, Suho's symptoms of PTSD increased because Seojun had started to actively make him go back to feeling guilty and remind him of the choice he made to push people away. Seojun playing a role in this is so upsetting, and it's made it hard for me to like his character as much as I did before.

The masks may cover up their scars in their minds and to others, but it won't make them free the way they want to be. These characters break my heart and have been through so much.

I'm loving this show. I think it gets better and more painful each episode, but it has the light moments, it touches your heart, and it makes you smile and cry so much. The romance between Suho and Kyung is also precious despite certain pauses in their growth because of their masks and miscommunications. However, the fact that they're each other's refuge to be free without their masks, to breath and to see each other the way others can't it's beautiful. Seojun's feelings for Kyung are also growing. I'm torn because I like his moments so much but thinking about emotional torment and pain he causes Suho, especially in these episodes isn't my cup of tea. Kyung sees him as a sibling right now, and I wonder if that's all she's ever goanna accept him as I actually want him and Soojin to be together at the end and Soojin is slowly getting into her role of second lead for Suho. I hope they don't use her hurt as a way to make her a villain. That's be sick if she breaks down because Suho likes Kyung not her like no let's avoid this storyline.

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #kdrama #cha eunwoo #moon ga young #lee suho #im jukyung #cwg #december #han seojun

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peonysink · 3 years

Text

The Nicest Boy in the Galaxy

Part III

Part II here

Part I here

Warning: Explicit, 18 +

Note: More lovely moments with Echo, as you woke up in his arms. Later you spend an incredible night toghether back at your place. This is where the smut happens :)

Also, Echo deserves the world!

You woke up to the sound of faint voices. You opened your eyes, and it took you a second to figure out where you were. That usually happened when you slept well, and this was one of those nights. The first thing you saw was Echo’s big smiling eyes. Your body was still entangled with his, your head on his shoulder, his arm around you, and your leg resting on his his.

“Good morning” - he whispered in your ear, his raspy voice sending electricity through your whole body. His eyes were rested and his whole face looked more relaxed than before.

“Good morning”, you said. “This is a nice way to wake up”

As soon as you said that you remembered all the other soldiers that were sleeping in the same room, and you quickly lifted your head to see if they were still there.

“Don’t worry, they’re up. They’ve been for a while’ - Echo read your mind.

“They must have had hundred questions for you this morning”

Echo smiled.

‘I’m sure Hunter will explain them who you are. Not sure he’ll explain how you ended up in my bed"

“Oh” - you replied.

“Don't worry, no one will be reaching any conclusions. They know me well enough to... they know I’m not like that” - Echo said, and once again confirmed your gut feeling you had from the moment you met him that there was something incredibly pure and sweet about him.

“I’m not worried” - you smiled, and put your head back on his chest. “I’m good. This feels good. I could stay this way forever” - you said and threw your arm across his chest and hugged him tight. “But I guess we should move, shouldn't we? - you asked him.

"Not yet" - he replied and kissed your forehead. "A few more minutes.”

You tugged closer to him, and once again threw you leg across his. He felt how comfortable and relaxed you were.

“Emma” - he said in a more serious tone.

“Yes?” - You replied not moving.

"I’m sorry about last night. I feel like i owe you an explanation…”

"No, you don’t Echo, it’s okay…”

"I know, but I want to tell you… " - Echo insisted.

You lifted your head slightly and looked at him:

"Okay, I’m here, I’m listening.”

He took a deep breath and hesitated for a moment.

"I lost my legs and my arm in a blast in a mission at the Citadel, few years ago. It was a rescue action, and we were saving a jedi master and his men caught by the separatists. The blast knocked me out, and my squad thought I was dead and they had to move on, but I survived and I was kidnapped by the separatists. For a long time I was unconscious, kept in a stasis chamber - they tried to take my humanity and turn me into a machine. They hooked my brain to a computer and scanned it constantly to get access to everything I knew about the military tactics and strategies. They used that information to defeat the Republic forces in numerous battles…"

Echo’s voice almost broke as he said the last sentence. You could hear that this was something that wasn't easy for him to talk about and that he was still coming to grips with it. He unconsciously contributed to his forces’ defeat - that was a lot of weight to carry on one's shoulders.

"I was helpless like that... a vegetable hooked to a machine, until I was rescued by my captain. And these guys."

He pointed his head towards the voices you could hear at the other end of the ship.

"This squad saved you?" - you asked.

He nodded.

“I owe everything to them.” Echo said. "I’d still be trapped in that place, given that no one knew I was alive. But Rex, my captain, never gave up on me. He came back for me in what was almost a suicide mission. And suicide missions are the bad batch's speciality” - he smiled.

"Bad batch?" - you asked.

"That’s the name of our squad. That’s what they call themselves, anyway. The four of them are defective clones, with desirable mutations. That’s why they look different from other clones.”

"That’s amazing” - you replied, your eyes wide. "I had no idea clones could have different mutations like that.”

"Not many do. They are unique.”

"Well then you fit very well in this squad” - you said and lifted your head more to look him closer in the eyes.

Echos eyes were warm and you could feel his arm pull you closer.

You felt incredibly privileged that he shared all of this with you and you wanted him to know. You put your hand on his cheek and you felt him melt into it. He moved your head closer to his and you kissed him. His lips were soft and gentle, and you couldn't get enough of that kiss. You pulled his head towards yours, and he tangled his fingers in your hair. Everything disappeared around you, once again, there was nothing else that ever mattered, nothing came before or will after this moment. Just the two of you, holding each other tight, feeling safe in each other company, sharing the best kiss both of you ever had. You had no idea how long time it passed, but a sound of Hunters voice brought you back to reality.

"Erm, sorry” - you heard his smoky voice.

You both jumped.

“I really am” - Hunter said and smiled.

You blushed, and Echo saw that and tightened his arm around you and whispered "it’s okay” to your ear.

"It’s okay, Hunter. Something you need?" - Echo asked him.

"We need to get to work soon" - Hunter hesitated, clearly not happy that he interrupted you and Echo, but they had a schedule and you realised that Echo was late.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s my fault” - you said and started getting up from the bed. Echo put his arm around your waist and stopped you, as you sat up on the bed and said:

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Emma. It’s nothing that can’t wait."

You looked at Hunter, and he could read on your face that you felt bad, so he sent you a little nod.

“It’s okay. We need to work on some strategies today, and our boy Echo here is our biggest expert. But we have a whole day ahead of us. Have you slept well?” - he asked you.

“I slept very well,” - you answered. Better than in a long time." - you answered and touched Echo’s hand around your waist.

“Glad to hear that. That rain last night was not like any other I’ve ever seen. And I grew up on Kamino.” - Hunter said. “When you're ready, come outside. It’s actually sunny now." - he turned and left.

You were siting on the bed, your feet now touching the ground, and Echo hugged your waist, still lying in bed. He hugged you even closer and buried his head in your lap:

“I wish I could stay this way whole day” - he said.

You touched his head, gently.

"Me too” - you said, "but I think we should probably come outside. I don’t want to impose here more than necessary”

“You’re not, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want” - Echo said, and hugged you closer.

“I wish I could. But I should probably go and check on Denize. - you said. “I don’t want her to worry”.

Echo kissed your thigh and unwrapped his arms around you. You got up, found your clothes and went to the bathroom. The whole night felt magical. You felt so safe and comfortable in Echo’s arms, and it was difficult to find the strength and motivation to get up and leave. You felt great but you couldn’t help yourself thinking - what did all this mean? Why did it feel so good?

When you left the bathroom, refreshed and back in your clothes, you found the whole squad outside. Echo joined them, and his face brightened when he saw you again.

“Emma, this is Crosshair and Tech” - he introduced you to the two troopers you haven’t met before, and who were sound asleep last night when you arrived.

“Nice to meet you” - you greeted them. The taller one with a crosshair tattooed across his right eye slightly nodded, but kept looking at you intensely, and the trooper with the glasses smiled politely. Hunter offered you a ration bar, and you realised in that moment, that this was what they were living on the entire time. Their breakfast, lunch and dinner. You wanted to do something for them while they were here, and repay them for their generous hospitality last night, so you had an idea:

“I really would like to stay” - you said and turned to Echo, whose smiling eyes never left you for a moment, "but I should get going. I’d like to invite you all to a dinner tonight at my place. There will be some home-cooked food, specialities from my planet and it would be my honour if you’d be my guests. What do you say? - you looked over at Hunter, and he nodded:

“That’s not an offer we get that often, Emma, so yes! Of course! We’d love to!”

“We’ll be there” - Echo said and smiled and came closer to you one step. Wrecker sent you thumbs up.

“Great! I live right by the market, the tall blue house right at the entrance - you cannot miss it!” - you said.

"We’ll be there, Emma. Thank you” - Echo replied, and the other troopers seemed to have liked that idea as well.

“I’m looking forward to it” - you said. "I really should get going now” - you turned to Echo. Echo nodded.

“I’ll walk you a bit” - he said, but you didn’t want to take much more of his time, and you shook your head and came closer to him.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. They need you now. I’ll see you tonight” - you said and smiled, and saw that Echo was almost about to kiss you and he restrained himself in the last moment, which made you smile even wider.

“Okay then, I’ll be counting the moments till I see you again tonight, Emma” - he said.

“Me too” - you replied and turned to the other troopers:

“Nice meeting you all. See you tonight”

They waived back and you walked home thinking about what you’ll cook for them and how much you were looking forward to host them and return the hospitality.

—

Echo lifted his head and saw Hunter at the ship’s entrance. He saw it in his eyes immediately. He felt the ground open under him.

"We’ve been called up. We have a new mission” - Hunter said, not removing his eyes from Echo. Other troopers got up immediately, but Echo stayed frozen. Hunter came closer to him:

“I can give you an hour” - he said quietly.

——

You managed to get all the ingredients at the marked, everything you needed for a nice meal you were planning to prepare tonight. Denize was working at your stand, and you came home earlier to start preparing and cooking. Your thoughts were still full of Echo, you could still feel his hugs all over your body, and you couldn’t get those kisses out of your mind. All of a sudden there was a loud knock at your door, the emergency of which almost scared you.

You came closer to the door, almost hesitating to open it, and then you heard Echo’s voice:

“Emma?”.

You jumped, and opened the door, and you saw him. His eyes told you immediately something was terribly wrong. He looked flushed, almost out of breath.

“Echo, what… what happened?” - you asked.

“We’ve been called up. We’re leaving in an hour” he said. You felt like someone punched you in stomach, real hard, and all the air left you lungs.

“What…how..” - was all you managed to say and you felt dizzy and like you were going to collapse. You felt your knees were going to give up and Echo saw that and he came one step closer and caught you. He held you tight around your waist, and you threw your arms around him. He held you, and walked inside, closing the door behind him. You both knew. There were no words left to say. This was the reality. He was a soldier, and this was what his purpose was. He’ll be leaving. He’ll always be leaving. It was up to you to find those moments, those precious moments, and to treasure them, to make them yours and to make them matter. You felt the tears in your eyes, but you tried your best to hold them back. You lifted your head and you found his eyes. The look in his eyes was unmistakable. He was sorry. Sorry to put you through this, both of you. Sorry to make you feel this way, sorry for leaving. But you both knew that there was no time for that - none of that would or should ruin your moment. Your hour. You had an hour, and you could pack an entire galaxy of happiness and love in that hour. You pressed your lips against his, and you kissed him passionately. You drew him closer to you, and he kissed you back, his arms around your waist. You kept pulling him closer to you, your hands started exploring his body, going down from his shoulders, and down and up his arms - he pulled away from the kiss for a moment, and looked you close in the eyes:

“Are you sure?” - he whispered.

You nodded, holding back those tears as hard as you could - and nothing else was needed. He kissed you again, and hugged you so tight that he lifted you from the ground. You threw your arms and your legs around him, and he walked to the nearest bed and gently put you down. He was kissing your neck, while he started unbuttoning your shirt. You unhooked your bra, and threw it on the ground together with your shirt. His eyes widened at the sight of your breasts and the way he looked at you melted your heart. You hugged him closer, and he kissed your neck again, and then started slowly going down. His lips were soon on your left nipple, while his fingers caressed and teased the right one.

He slowly moved his kisses onto your stomach, and started pulling your pants down. You lifted your hips to help him, and soon you were left just in your panties. He pulled away from you for a second, and once again looked at you in awe. You saw that he was savouring that moment, and you let him, your body already flushed and hot with the desire for him.

“You are so beautiful” - was everything he managed to say, before his lips were back on your body, kissing your lower stomach and moving further down. He lifted your knees slightly, and spread your legs and then he planted a gentle kiss on your clit through your underwear. You felt the heat gather up in your stomach and slowly started spreading to your whole body. He continued to tease you, as he gently bit your clit feeling it becoming firmer against your panties.

“Echo!" - you moaned, and he pulled your panties down, caressing your thighs.

I want to make you feel good… tell me how this feels." - he whispered, and touched your folds, massaging them, teasing your entrance. You arched your back as he put his thumb gently on your clit.

"Oh, Echo…." - was everything you managed to say, and his tongue was already on your clit, first almost shyly and gently, and then moving with more speed and more pressure. You moved your fingers across his head, trying to grab onto something, and you moaned loudly. Echo’s hand was holding your hips firmly, as his tongue was gently exploring your clit, your folds and then teased your entrance. You were already almost out of breath, you felt your pulse elevate as he buried his tongue deep inside you. You arched your back and dug your nails in his head - you thought that you must have hurt him, but Echo didn’t react in any way - he continued to move his tongue in and out of you, while gently massaging your clit with his thumb.

You couldn’t control yourself any longer and your moans became louder. All you could think of in that moment is feeling Echo inside you, giving him this incredible feeling back, sharing it with him.

“Echo… Echo…” you barely managed to speak.

He lifted his head and looked at you, his mouth and chin completely soaked in your juices.

“Are you okay?” - he almost looked concerned.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to compose yourself:

“I’m more than okay, my love, this is incredible. But I want to feel you inside me now, I want it so much!” you said in one breath.

Echo smiled, and extended his arm to touch your cheek.

“Anything you want, sweet one. You taste incredible, I could keep doing this for hours...”

You lifted your head and you supported yourself on your elbows.

“Echo…” - you said, and he kept looking at you, his eyes soft. You wanted to tell him how much he meant to you, even though you’ve only known him for such a short time. It felt like you were meant to meet each other, it felt like there was nowhere else to be in this moment, but together.

You sat up and you moved closer to him. Your hands started exploring his amour, but you couldn’t figure it out - where to begin? Which part to take off first - and how?

“Can you help me?” - you said. “How does a girl ever take this thing off a soldier?”

Echo smiled. You felt that he was hesitating for a moment - you knew he wanted you, but you wanted to wipe away any insecurity he might have had.

“Echo…. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone! I want to feel your body, I want to feel your skin on mine - please”

Echo’s closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, you saw a desire you haven’t seen before. His eyes narrowed and darkened, his lips parted slightly, and he took your hand that moments ago was exploring his armour and kissed it. He moved away from you, got up, and stood still for a moment. He then proceeded removing his arm pieces, first a part on his cybernetic arm, and then from his other arm, his chest piece, his kama, and his leg armour. Everything was taking time, and you savoured every moment, until he was left only in his tight black shirt and pants. He stood like that for a moment, looking slightly vulnerable, and you got up and came closer to him. You could see a prominent bulge in his pants, waiting, begging to be released.

“I can take it from here - you whispered in his ear, and he smiled:

“Please do” - he said, his eyes fixed on you.

You let your hand slip to his stomach and further down, and you felt his erection. You gently cupped his cock through his blacks and gave it a gentle squeeze. Echo closed his eyes and let a quiet moan. You moved your hand up, and started pulling his pants down. You could feel that Echo’s body slightly stiffened and you guessed it was because you were going to see his legs for the first time. You knelt in front of him, and he looked at you, but you could see that he trusted you, and you smiled. You pulled his pants down and released his hard cock. You touched it and Echo moaned again. You stroked it a few times, and started pulling his pants further down. Reaching his knees and pulling them all the way to the floor, you could for the first time see his cybernetic legs. They started just above both of his knees and they were beautiful and elegant. They made him look tough and unique. You looked up and you caught Echo’s eyes, looking, searching for your reaction. You smiled.

“You’re so beautiful. Even more beautiful then I knew”

As soon as you said that, Echo knelt as well and took your head in his hands. He kissed you passionately, once again, one of those kisses that made you knees weak, and he felt it and he gently laid you down on the floor. His hand once again started exploring your body, first your breasts and then it wandered down to your pussy and his middle finger started teasing your clit again. You moaned into his mouth and he speeded up his movement. He then slipped his finger in your pussy and slightly bent it. You broke from his kiss to moan loudly, as he put his thumb on your clit and added his index finger inside you. He kept doing that for a while and it sent you to the edge once again, when he moved his lips closer to your ear:

“I want to be inside you so bad, sweet one” - he whispered.

Your body was so hot and flushed from Echo’s fingers in your pussy and your clit, and you were already panting, so all you managed to say was:

“Yes, Echo, please!”

As soon as you said that he removed his fingers and positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel his tip against your wet pussy and you impatiently moved your hips closer to him,. Echo smiled, caressed your hips and then entered you, slowly. You could feel him, every inch of him. He was so hard and you could feel his big cock entering you and stretching you and you threw your arms around him and let a loud moan. He kissed your neck repeatedly, and once he was finally in, he stayed that way for a few moments and then he pulled out completely, and slammed into you again, this time faster and harder. The sensation of his incredibly hard cock against your wetness sent you over the edge and you could feel your orgasm building again. You looked at Echo who moments ago was looking deep into your eyes, as he now closed his eyes shut and threw his head back, panting and quietly moaning, and you saw how good this felt for him.

“Baby, yes… Echo” - you kept repeating, and he buried his head back to your neck and started sucking on it, this time more hungrily and desperately. You scratched his back repeatedly, and you were sure that you were going to leave some deep marks there. You were together, finally, united in this incredible moment, you sweaty bodies moving in the same direction, to the same beat, your breathing synchronised, and your orgasms building up. His cock felt amazing, as he was moving inside and out first slowly, just sliding in and out, then moving faster, and then going slowly again. You could see he enjoyed that as well, and all you could do is encourage him to just take you, to do whatever he wanted, to have you whatever way he desired, as everything he did sent you to heaven. There was nothing else in that moment, just his warm body on yours, taste of his lips on yours, on your neck and on your nipples, his hand caressing your body, his sweat mixing with yours, and you didn’t need anything else in this galaxy. You were the happiest girl in the world and with that thought you opened your eyes and found his, the tip of his nose touching yours and you felt your orgasm washing over your entire body, as you lost yourself into his eyes. You hugged him tighter and screamed his name several times. He held you, never breaking the eye contact and he slowed his movements down for a few moments. You panted, out of your breath and he kissed you gently.

"Echo” - you said as you managed to catch your breath.

"Yes, my love” - he whispered.

“I want you to cum inside me” - you said and you looked him deep into his eyes again. He planted his lips on your again, and then moved them on your nipple as he slammed inside you, this time deeper than ever before. You arched your back slightly, and he held you now firmer, his teeth gently teasing your nipple, and his hips moving faster, his thrusts being firmer and harder. You could see by the way his entire body stiffened that he was close, you could feel his cock growing even harder inside you, till he growled, his release sending him to heaven. He was panting as he collapsed on top of you, and you threw your arms around him and you held him. You held him like you did last night in the rain, close and tight, you could feel his muscles relaxing one by one, he felt safe in your arms and you didn’t want to let go. He pulled out slowly, and you could feel his seed slowly leaking out of you. You stayed that way for few minutes, his weight on you, slightly crushing you, but you didn’t mind. You were united, together, intervened in every way and you knew that this moment now, and ever again, would be one of those most precious, rarest, purest of moments.

After a while, Echo peeled himself off of you, making you miss him right away.

He looked you in the eyes for several moments, and you could see in each others' eyes how happy you both were, how happy you made each other. You smiled, and he smiled back. You both knew. There were no words necessary.

Echo kissed you again, this time gently and slowly, and then he moved his lips to your ear:

“I’ll come back, my love! I promise!”

#echo smut #echo my beloved #echo x you #echo tbb #echo x reader #the bad batch echo #the bad batch smut

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arcadia-city-stories-if · 3 years

Note

early-ish in the relationship where no one has said the L word yet - if mc’s quietly tracing their finger on the ro’s skin and eventually the ro realizes mc’s writing “i love you” how would they react? 🥺

The sweet ones always take me the longest lol, sorry, Anon!

I did have one written for Claude/Claudia but I decided not to include it for *reasons* I still wanted to post the other four though.

Toni’s is also pre-relationship. Also for *reasons*

So, sorry about that!

They're under the cut because they're kinda long and I take up enough of peoples screens with my nonsense as it is lol

Murphy -

Murphy lies in bed, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling.

The muscles in his arm flex as he unconsciously pulls MC closer to his side, their bare skin flush against his own, still fever hot and damp with sweat, leaving the sheet thrown loosely over them clinging awkwardly to their tired bodies.

It should be uncomfortable, but he barely notices.

His focus is elsewhere as MCs leg hooks over his own, their hand finding its way to his chest, running across his skin, back and forth, in a soothing pattern that brings a contented sigh to his lips. I could get used to this.

"I should probably go." His voice sounds worn, his throat sore, whether from too much use or not enough, he isn't sure. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

MC hums, a non-committal sound that leaves the decision firmly in Murphy's hands.

The silence stretches out as he tries to convince himself to leave. There's no reason to make this more complicated than it is. If MC wanted him to stay they would have said so. He should go home, take a shower and sleep in his own damn bed.

His thoughts are drawn to a halt as his attention falls to MC, a single finger tracing a nonsense pattern of whorls and loops against his skin...

Except it's not nonsense. And they aren't just whorls. And suddenly his heart is in his throat and there's nothing that he wants more than to hear them say those words out loud.

"I could stay. If you wanted me to."

MC hums again, punctuated it with a soft brush of their lips against his shoulder. He can feel their smile. "Goodnight Murphy."

Shae -

Shae brushes the grass from their trousers as they stand and take in the night sky. The moon is full and the sky clear, a perfect night for charging their crystals. They take a deep breath of the crisp night air and smile, they really do love their garden.

"So, now what?"

MCs voice cuts through the silence and Shae feels themself smile as they turn towards them. They hadn't expected MC to show any real interest in this side of their life, but it had been a pleasant surprise nonetheless. "Now, we wait."

MC nods and it takes all of Shae's effort not to laugh. They're not sure they ever seen MC look so unsure of what to do with themself. They watch as MC looks around before taking a seat on the back step, taking a minute to stare up at the night sky, the view drastically different than the view from their city apartment, no doubt.

Shae pulls their top tighter, wrapping their arms around themself as they take a seat next to MC, the air chilly but not unbearably so. Not yet, anyway.

The silence is comfortable, but Shae is still pleased when MC turns their way, a conspiratorial smile on their face, their voice hushed like they're sharing a secret.

"You know, my grandmother took me to a fortune teller once. She had a crystal ball and the incense smoke was so thick it stung my eyes." Shae raises an eyebrow, curious as to where MC is taking this when they reach out a hand, gesturing for Shae to do the same. "She told me she could read my whole future from just the lines in the palm of my hand."

Shae watches as MCs fingers slide across the back of their hand before turning it over, palm up in the moonlight, their focus intent as they start to trail along each of the lines there. Their voice turns soft as they both stare down at Shae's palm, and the letters now being written there. A silent confession, too loud a thing for the peacefulness of the night.

"I wonder what she would've seen in yours."

Callie -

Callie's laugh is full and rich as MCs hand dances over her bare ribs. She fights the urge to bat them away as MC tells her to stay still once again, seemingly determined to follow the trail of beauty marks that litter her torso.

"It tickles!" She complains loudly for the hundredth time, no real bite in her words as MC shrugs off her complaints, "Come on, Cal, I want to get it right at least once."

Callie rolls her eyes but acquiesces, the laughter quickly bubbling up once more as the gentle loops and curves send shockwaves rippling across her skin. "Enough, enough! I give!"

She pulls her body away from their touch before rolling even closer than before. Her fingertips lightly trace along MCs collar bone as she settles her body against theirs, her eyes sparkling. "Now do I get to have my way with you?"

Toni -

"I think you might be back-dead, dude."

Toni laughs as MC turns to playfully shove at their shoulder, dropping the raised shirt back into place and re-covering the bare skin of their back. "I am not! It's just impossible."

"Uh-huh." Toni hums in fake agreement, smiling to themself as they lean back against the railing, checking their pockets for their lighter. "Whatever you say."

MC rolls their eyes before producing the offending lighter from somewhere. Toni gives a nod of thanks before relighting their joint and taking a long inhale. Cocking their head to one side they consider the almost pouting MC and can't resist rubbing it in, just a little bit. "I'll prove it." They declare, confidently.

They shift in their seated position until they face out across the city, their back entirely to MC. They place the joint between their lips before raising their arms and pulling the back of their hoodie up, exposing their skin to the night air. "Try me."

There's a long moment when Toni thinks they're not going to do it, but when the exasperated sigh comes, they know they've won. They smile to themself as they take another hit, listening as MC shifts around behind them.

When MCs fingers finally brush against Toni's naked skin, neither of them miss the way their shoulders jump of their own volition, the muscles there rippling, as anticipation suddenly tears through them both.

There's a heavy moment of silence before Toni manages to force out a laugh, they're aiming for nonchalance, they're not sure if they manage it. "Well? Are you going to write something?" They glance back over their shoulder, a tight smile on their face. "Can't exactly prove you wrong otherwise, can I?"

MC levels them with a look that makes Toni's smile a lot less forced, before turning their attention back to the task at hand.

MC starts to write and Toni is pleased to find they have no trouble identifying the letters.

Then comes the second word.

By the third, Toni's eyes are pinched closed as they push down the urge to turn to MC, to say those words, to confess every thought they've had but never said, every feeling they've denied, every hope that just will not die no matter what Toni tells themself.

Instead, Toni laughs. "Damn." they say, shaking their head. "I guess you were right after all." The tone rings just convincingly enough that Toni almost flinches. Lies on top of lies.

They drop their shirt back into place, only half hearing whatever non-truth MC offers back to them. The knot in their stomach too distracting to ignore. They deserve better.

#ro asks #prompts #callie misses it because ofc she does #the sweet ones are always the longest #like i really have to set the scene #or i just dont *feel it* ya know?#like one of those people who has to light candles just to masturbate #just a lot of unnecessary extras that nobody really asked for

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jeagerism · 3 years

Text

(i tried writing this mostly for @sallysoot dodisid) but since it's like canon that philza was techno's mentor as a kid and into adulthood, i'll just say

don't think abt being the third counterpart in the sibling-ship that tommy and wilbur have. don't think abt techno coming over all the time to train with phil - which was good, because whenever techno came over, phil stayed around. it was almost like he was an actual father, nevermind how much it stung to see him ruffle techno's hair whenever he did something that made him proud. he doesn't speak much, at least not to you. sometimes you catch the rumble of his voice as he asks wilbur a question, or answers to tommy's increasingly whiney begs to hold his sword. don't imagine feeling a tugging at your chest whenever techno let's his shoulders fall, releasing tension from keeping his guard up, rays of sun casting a pretty glow onto his face during the summer.

don't imagine how you notice that he always looked empty, for someone so young. how he always kept his face covered by that familiar mask, never let himself reveal whatever lied underneath to any of you. all you knew of him were striking eyes and thin pink lips. don't imagine how, one day, months after his first appearance, you're looking out from the kitchen, gazing at the snow that lay in blankets around your family's home. and you see him. phil had said he was dismissed hours ago, but there he was, still going. huffing, you reach over onto the table in front of wilbur, taking the unattended mug of tea you'd made minutes ago, and starting towards the door. your brother doesn't mutter a word, too enamoured with the book in front of him - you're pretty sure he'd snuck into phil's study earlier, but you'll let him do what he wishes. it wasn't as if the older would notice.

don't imagine slipping your coat around your shoulders as you step out, thin socks soaking through to your bare feet as they meet the snowy ground. keeping a hand over the top of the mug, you stumble awkwardly over to the area where he's always occupied in front of your home, for months now. you begin to set the cup onto the bench you frequent on days warm enough to come out and watch - nothing but simple curiosity - when a frustrated cry rings throughout the empty space, bouncing off of nearby trees and echoing back to you. turning, your fingers become loose around the ceramic.

don't imagine seeing techno sling the mask off, tossing it to the side with disdain. as he begins to face where you're standing, your fingers slip from around the hot mug, liquid arching up and back down onto your feet, splashing parts of your legs.

cursing, you yank the cup from the floor. when you look back up, startling ruby eyes meet your own. they all but steal the air from your chest. there's a shake in your legs as you swallow, gathering as much confidence you can into the swell of your throat as you speak. "sorry, i was, well, i...its cold and i had tea and then." you shake your head, trying to clear thoughts of the way his cheeks looked so pink from the cold - his hair nearly matched. "im sorry." once you're back inside the confines of your home, back pressed to the spruce of the door, you release air you weren't aware you were holding. tommy asks why you look so shocked. wilbur snickers to himself, but when you open your eyes to glare at him, he's only giving you a coy smile. the book he had is closed in his lap.

don't imagine the months of that winter after that being spent inside, never even daring to go too close. don't imagine the spring that comes after, slowly bleeding into another summer, an entire year of the presence of technoblade. don't imagine continuing watching countless training sessions from the same bench you'd finally seen him from - memorizing the way his hair looks really pretty the way it is now - long enough to be put into a ponytail that gathers at the nape of his neck, baby hairs slicked to the skin with sweat.

don't imagine going between watching the combat in front of you and paying attention to the enchanted book wilbur had given you as a gift days before. you'd found it strange at the time - you hadn't thought wilbur listened much to the rambling you did about wanting to train yourself - but you'd let it go anyways, accepting the leather bound book.

don't imagine techno sitting on the bench you stay on to watch as he learns, taking a moment to breathe, dragging a hand down his face. and you're in awe. you'd always been starstruck at seeing him, but this is new. now he's up close. and it's just you and him, for now. the only interaction the two of you have come close to is the singular nod he gives you when he enters your kitchen - he seldom does this. you think it's because he doesn't want to intrude. as if he could. he was pretty much royalty around here, with how much tommy droned on about how cool he was, and how many times wilbur had mumbled in agreements to that.

don't imagine the way his head tilts to the side as his shoulders rise and fall with a quiet breath. how he softly speaks your name. and you're confused, because you've never introduced yourself, yet he knows your name. to be fair, he'd never directly introduced himself to you either, but you'd peeked your head around the corner on one of his first days here, and had heard phil ask a simple, "how was your trip here, techno?" don't imagine how he'd quirk an eyebrow up at your gaping silence, a hand reaching out before it drops back down to his lap. he coughs out, "i, um, i'm technoblade."

"i know." your hands are tingling with nervousness, because he's close, and he smells like pine and parchment paper, and his hair looks really soft. don't imagine him scratching the back of his neck, shaking his head the tiniest bit. he did that a lot, you noticed. most often when phil let him take a short break from whatever he was being taught. sometimes he'd mutter a few words, always harsh whispers, before standing straight as if he'd cleared his head with the action.

"do i....scare you?" don't imagine the way he looks embarrassed to even be asking, fingers curling round the old, chipped wood he's sitting on. he'd abandoned the red cape he normally donned earlier on, now just sporting his signature white button up, sleeves unbuttoned at the ends and pushed up to his elbows.

you let out a shocked chuckle. "um, no? i mean, i don't think there's much to be scared of." you want to say how nothing as pretty as him could be scary. intimidating, sure, but not scary in the slightest. "i simply have habits of embarrassing myself in front of people i barely know."

don't imagine the quiet invitation of, "i'd be more than happy to know you."

and so it is. don't imagine how his eyes seem to find yours at least once through every session he has from that point on. he's still not as talkative - in fact, you spend more time in silence than anything, but it's nice. it's comforting. when you're not outside to watch, he begins stopping by the kitchen window that opens directly over the sink. you hand him a bottle of water whenever you see the pink head of hair pop up over the window sill.

don't imagine watching him grow - a thin, wire framed face growing into itself, long legs that he often tripped over at moments growing steady. he grows along side you and tommy and wil; techno teaches them what phil had always refused to. he teaches you himself in quiet moments shared between the two of you. brings you gifts as a thank you for helping him with extra training, as if he wasn't the one teaching you most things.

one evening, after he's ran and fought himself dry, the length of his hair crowding his face - you'd considered telling him of how awfully pretty he looked with long hair. you'd bitten your tongue when any chance had presented itself.

technoblade had always been a friend; he'd been the one to teach you how to make stew properly, had bandaged your finger when you'd burnt it from not paying close enough attention to how close your hand had been to the flame. you remember the way his hands had shook as he'd wrapped the fabric around your fingers. he'd stumbled and tripped all over his words as he'd scolded you.

the evening brings about the chirping of nearby pond animals and the clanking of whatever lay in the woods after sundown. techno takes a seat on the ground beside your bench, shoulder knocking into your calf. staring hard at the hair gathered around his neck, you wet your lips. "can i braid your hair?"

you don't reach out to touch him until he gives you a gentle nod. that was one thing about him - he hated being touched. the only person you'd ever seen touch him was phil, and he'd always let his shoulders brush his ears in embarrassment when that happened.

you shift your body towards him, gathering the amount of hair in your hands, letting it lay across your lap in bunches. as you begin weaving strands between each other, technoblade sighs. "wilbur told me about the land - manburg?"

you click your tongue at him with a soft laugh. "l'manburg", you correct, "and yeah. they've already uh, got people there. started building and stuff." you furrow your brows at the strands of pink hair in your hands. "its good. i mean, i always wanted more for them than this. and they always knew they deserved more."

"so do you." he's still as you loop the last remaining tufts of hair around each other. "and it wouldn't be so bad to have you a little closer."

you try not to pay too much attention to the warmth that blooms in your chest, rising to your ears, across your cheeks. "as if you're not here all the time anyways," you chastise, flipping the end of his braid off your lap. you can feel his eyes follow you as you scoot back to your original spot, gathering the things you'd carried out when you'd sat to watch him at the start. sighing, you meet his gaze with a dead stare. "i will consider it."

techno hums, rising to his feet with the noise. tugging the things you're holding from your grasp, transferring them into his own hold, he nods. "good."

don't imagine the way he helps you move all your stuff into chests weeks after, loading them onto the horse you'd helped him find on the eve of his last birthday. he let's you ride with him for every trip to drop your stuff off to where you'll be living - a small cottage not too far from where he is. on the final trip he helps you down with a hand held out for you to grab, pulling you in close for a moment before he leads you inside.

don't imagine the way he stays with you the first night until sundown, dismissing every worry of the dangers he may face on his way home in the dark. he stays on your couch, sandwiched in between you and the corner of the cushioned material.

"don't worry your head over it", he tells you to quiet your worries, "i'll be fine. im technoblade, remember?" when you roll your eyes at his antics, he bumps his shoulder into yours with a grin. "you act as if you want me to leave so badly."

you scoff into the mug of tea he'd prepared for you after the two of you had set nearly everything up. "whatever", you say, before clearing your throat. "you're ridiculous."

when you fall asleep he's sitting next to you, and when you wake he's gone. there's a red cloak around your shoulders that slips down at your wake - you lift it to your nose with a sleepy smile. pine and parchment.

the next day, he stops by around noon with extra supplies. he's got nothing but that white button up on, and when he sees the cloak draped over your lap as he carries things in, he shakes his head with a breathy, barely there laugh.

don't imagine the way things change. he's with you nearly every night - he makes you food, tells you about his day, listens intently when you tell him of yours over bites of bread and stew. he's always there as you fall asleep. most days he's gone before morning light. others you wake to his rumbled humming as he slips on his shoes to start his day.

the days tommy and wilbur visit, he still shows up. makes conversation with the two over the plans for the nation. often times you catch them hurriedly wrapping up a hushed conversation of serious whispers when you reenter the room. techno's brows always furrow, a crease forming between them that you always want to smooth out with your finger.

when they leave, those are the times he seems troubled. sometimes so terribly inside his own mind that he doesn't flinch when you accidentally brush against him. other nights, when it's just the two of you, he complains he's messed up his hair, because no one does it like you, and spends the minutes it takes you to redo it humming and poking into your calves.

don't imagine the day he visits that he knows something is off.

your mouth if pursed into a frown, something troublesome brewing within. but he carries on as he normally does. an unspoken rule between the two of you - the two of you would talk about bothersome things when either of you chose.

as he sets down the plate in front of you, you catch his wrist with your hand. he tenses for a second, and you give him a regretful glance. "sorry", you call out, and he nods, sitting beside you as he normally does - side to side.

"you knew they were starting a war." it's not a question. your fingers dig into the cushions of the couch. the fire crackling across the room fills the silence after your words.

"i did."

"it's not fair." a sigh. "you should've told me."

"i know." it's his turn to apologise, as his pinkie knocks against your thigh. "i'm sorry."

"it's not as if i wouldn't have been able to handle it."

he wets his lips. "i know." tapping his pinkie against your thigh again, he sucks in a breath. "i was selfish, with you. i didn't want you to worry." you lean your head onto his shoulder; he rests his own atop yours. "im always selfish with you."

just as the last embers of the fire begin to burn, your pinkie wraps around his own.

don't imagine months of travesty involving the land. countless nights of curling into the shoulder of your best friend with whispered doubts. he always quiets them with a brush of his lips against your forehead and a soft "technoblade never dies, you know."

don't imagine seeing techno one night. he's quieter than normal, doing that same old dance of shaking his head, mumbled whispers and sharp breaths. but the grip he has on your pinkie is constant, the same as it always is. the weight of his arm around your shoulders is just as warm as it always is. hands engulfing yours as he fiddles with your fingers, countless unintelligible words and heavy sighs.

"you're sighing a lot for someone who's never worried." your comment seems to jumpstart him again, as he tsks at you.

"well, i'm not worried." a few beats pass. "i'm...contemplating."

"contemplating what?" you glance up at him, eyebrows raised. he shrugs - you think you've seen him shrug a handful of times since you met him. if he ever didn't want to answer something, he just didn't. and if he did, he was always as straight forward as one could be.

you let go of the topic regardless, standing a few minutes later to carry glasses back to the kitchen. the warm water runs over your hands as you rinse away leftover drinks from the cups. once your finished, you shut the water off with a hum, shaking your hands into the sink below you.

when you turn around, he's standing there, eyes slightly widened, his cheeks pink like the cold had been nipping away at him. "techno?"

"you know that i", he shakes his head, eyes darting from every thing they could land on except you. "that i, um."

"are you o-"

"im selfish with you." he breathes the words out like a prayer. "i am, and i...ever since i saw you drop that stupid mug on the floor i've been...all i've known is you."

you swallow as he takes a step closer to where you are. you feel the cold metal of the sink through your shirt. "im really, really selfish and it's even more selfish of me to tell you, but i." techno let's his eyes fall on your face. "i don't want to have missed out on ever telling you that. i don't want that moment to pass me by."

"does this mean i get to keep the cloak?"

and he laughs. the type of laugh that you know means he's caving in on himself, hands twitching, throat dry. "if....if you want to. it's kind of...always been yours anyways?"

"techno."

"yeah?"

"will you kiss me?"

you don't have to ask him twice. the weight of his palm on your cheek is warm, and you'll always wonder how his hands are so soft with all that he does. his fingers take their place along your jaw to tilt your head up; and he's kissing you like a man starved.

when he parts from you with bubblegum cheeks and a small smile, you laugh. that night, he stays. he presses another warm kiss to your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your forehead. you fall asleep with your head tucked into the crook of his neck.

don't imagine opening your eyes the next morning to the sun. it casts shadows and patterns from where it enters the window. when you look up, he's glowing just like he did when you were kids. he's more now, longer hair, his features sharp and mouth pulled down into a permanent straight line. you think he's harder, somehow, but the light softens out all of his harsh edges just fine.

don't imagine ignoring the fact that he probably needs to be up - that he has some meeting with wilbur to attend, some kind of planning for whatever is happening next. you turn into his embrace once more, letting his arm tug you closer as he breathes out slowly.

you'll be selfish with him for a bit more.

#technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #techno x you #techno x reader #mcyt x reader

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streetlight11 · 3 years

Text

Birthday Gift

Summary: If you told your younger self 4 years ago that you would be in a happy, long distance relationship with someone who lives miles away from you up till today, your younger self would have laughed at you. But here you are, 4 years later, happy and totally in love with the boy you met online after he randomly followed you on social media. But you've never once met him in person. On your 24th birthday, you were getting a birthday gift that you never thought you would receive so soon.

Theme: long distance relationship au, strangers to lovers

Genre: super fluffy

WC: 2k

Pairing: Bae Jacob x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! This has been in my drafts for quite a bit so here it is. This fic is too too fluffy, even for me who wrote this. Cobie is such a sweetheart, I can't-... Anyways, I hope you like this as much as I enjoy writing it! :)

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult as it needs to have a huge amount of trust, understanding, discipline and a lot of reassurance. However, despite all the fights you may have due to miscommunications and most of the time just lack of physical affection, you still cherish and love your boyfriend very much. You met your boyfriend online as he added you on social media a few years back. You clicked on his profile only to see that he lived in South Korea.

He looks to be a professional dancer and also a full time student in one of the colleges there. Not to mention, super good looking too. However, you weren’t really expecting anything at that point of time only because you don’t really believe in long distance relationships. You’ve always thought it might be hard and that it will never last.

So you just accepted his request and followed him back. The next day, you were in class when you got a DM from someone. And since you rarely got a DM from any guys, you were surprised to see his username pop up.

You clicked the message after about 10 minutes or so to see what he texted you, thinking he was just another weirdo who wants to scam you.

His message said;

“Hello! I saw your account and I really love your content. I’m sorry if this is too weird. I understand if you don’t wish to reply.”

With that, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as you didn’t know why but you began to type your reply, “Haha thank you! That’s so nice of you to say that.” You hit the send button and a few minutes later, he replied. That’s when you began to chat with him for quite a while before he asked.

“I’m so sorry, where have my manners gone? I’m Bae Joon Young but you can just call me Jacob. And you are?”

You replied to him with a smile as your fingers tapped against your smartphone, “I’m Y/F/N but you can call me Y/N.”

Ever since then, you have been chatting with him over DMs for quite a while, just to see if you can sort of trust and be comfortable with him or not. It took you almost 5 months to finally add him in your kakao talk.

Both of you have already done both voice and video call which means you already knew how each other looked and you seemed to have grown your trust in him. Jacob seemed like a genuine guy as you found out that he was your age internationally. Months became years and both of you have already introduced your partners to your parents.

However, at first, your parents weren’t too sure about this whole long distance relationship thing. But they didn’t want to disappoint you so instead of asking you to break up and find a local guy, they let you carry on with this relationship if you believe that it would work. Surprisingly, it took your parents less than a month to get warm with Jacob as they finally got comfortable every time he video calls you.

It has been 4 years since you two agreed to pursue this long distance relationship as it marks your 4th anniversary today. You were just lounging in your room when Jacob decided to skype call you through his desktop.

You accepted the call as he smiled adorably into the camera and waved to you, making you giggle as you waved back. “Happy anniversary baby.” Jacob said.

“Happy anniversary my love. Where are you?” You asked.

“I’m in my dorm. Younghoon’s out with our friends.”

“Why aren’t you with them?” You pout.

“I wanted to celebrate our anniversary.”

“Baby, you didn’t have to, you could have called me after.”

“Don’t you want to see me?” He asked sadly.

“Of course I do. It’s just… I feel like I might be the reason why you may not hang out with your friends as often as you do.”

“Baby, listen to me. I’m so lucky to have you as my girlfriend, dang am I lucky to have you reply to my message 4 years ago. I never thought that we could actually last this long but hey, look at us now.” You smiled as you looked down at your hands, only to look back up and see him pout.

“I love you so much, you know that right? And I can never ask for someone to replace you.” He said, making you sigh.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You asked softly, making him chuckle.

“How I wish I could enter my computer screen and just hug you and kiss you.” He whispered, making you smile sadly, knowing that could never happen, or at least it wouldn’t happen any time soon. You continue talking to him until you fall asleep, making him chuckle softly at your figure. Looking at you through his monitor screen endearingly.

“Goodnight my sweetheart.” He said those last words softly before he ended the call.

Days slowly became weeks and it was the same routine again and again but neither of you were getting bored or tired from it. He would always reassure you that he still loves you and that he would never hurt your feelings in any possible way. It was your birthday that day and your parents had booked a restaurant for you to celebrate and have your birthday dinner with your family, like how it has always been for the past few years.

It would be you, both your parents, your elder sister and her husband along with your 5 years old niece.

You chose to wear a white floral blouse with a pair of denim jeans as you paired it with your heeled sandals. You were in the car with your parents, on your way to the restaurant when Jacob voice called you.

“Hello?” He said.

“Hi Love.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m heading to a restaurant with my family for my birthday dinner. What about you?”

“Oh wow. Where to, this time? I’m just out with the boys.”

“I honestly don’t know. They didn’t tell me.” You laughed as your mother then smiled and spoke up from the front passenger seat.

“Hello dear. How are you sweetie?”

With that, you scooted to the centre of the back seat and put your call on speaker mode. Just then, you heard Jacob respond. “Hello Ma’am, I’m doing well. I wish I could be there to celebrate with all of you.” Jacob said, making you smile sadly as your parents let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s okay son, one of these days, you’ll get to meet our daughter and us.” Your dad said as you could already hear a smile etching on Jacob’s lips.

“Yes sir. I hope so.” Your boyfriend said before you giggled as you turned the speaker mode back off before bringing your phone to your ears. “Hmm, babe I think we’re here. I’ll call you again after dinner okay?” You said into the line.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t worry. Have fun tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too…” You paused for a moment as he waited for you to continue.

“I miss you Jacob.” You couldn’t help but whisper as a tear rolled down your cheek, making him frown.

“Baby please don’t cry. Promise me you won’t cry.” He said, making you nod as you sniffled your cries.

“I’ll try.” You said as you then bid him goodbye before ending the call.

Your sister had already arrived as you and your parents went to the front entrance where a waiter was waiting. Your dad told him that they’ve already made a reservation under your dad’s name as the waiter checked his list and soon smiled at the three of you. “Right this way.” The waiter said as he soon guided you towards the back of the restaurant where there were private rooms with opaque curtains to block the view of those sitting inside.

You were walking last as you texted your boyfriend in the process.

Once you were at the booth, your dad asked you to enter first, in which you got confused but nonetheless did as you were told. However, the minute you pushed the curtains open, your eyes immediately landed on the one person sitting at the very end of the table nearest to the entrance.

You felt your whole body freeze as you couldn’t find the right words. He was there, right in front of you, in one piece. It was him. It was your boyfriend. He was really there physically. You couldn’t believe this.

“Wha- I- When… Omg… Omg…” You whispered as everyone laughed, only for Jacob to chuckle as he got up, making you feel so flustered.

“Happy Birthday my love.” He said, as he walked up to you but you were still frozen in shock.

“Surprise!” Your family said in unison happily.

You locked eyes with Jacob as he engulfed you in a hug. That’s when you began to bawl your eyes out against his shoulder as you could finally feel his arms around your body, holding you tight as though he was afraid of losing you. Jacob laughed softly as he let you cry into his shoulder, while he gently rubs soothing circles in your back to calm you down.

You had your arms wrapped around his waist securely, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear. “Shh, don’t cry baby. Don’t cry.” He whispered in your ear, only for you to cry harder. He laughed even more as your mother and sister were already tearing up at the side.

You pull away from him as he gently wipes your tears with his thumbs. “You’re here… You’re actually here…” You whispered, your breath shaky as he nodded, cupping your face softly in his hands. “Yes love. I’m here. I’m really here.” Jacob said, making you pout. Still unable to believe this was real.

Jacob smiled widely as he pulled you into a hug again, only for you to bury your face in his chest, feeling him draw lazy patterns into your waist. After nearly 30 minutes of you holding onto him and being in your own little bubble, the 7 of you finally settled down to celebrate your birthday dinner. After dinner was over, your parents offered Jacob to stay over at your family home for the next two weeks that he is staying here in your country before he flies back to Korea.

Jacob thanked your parents for letting him stay over as you couldn’t stop holding his hand. The way his hands fit in yours so perfectly as he showered you with so much love and warmth, just like how he did through all the video calls and texts.

That night when everyone had gone home, your parents knew that you probably wanted to spend time with him so they let him sleep in your room.

After both of you had already changed and were getting ready for bed, he pulled you onto his side as you rested your head on his chest. Jacob hugs you close as you tighten your grasp on his shirt. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he glanced down a little.

“I’m just so happy you’re here. I still need time to process this information.” You confessed.

Jacob chuckled softly as he whispered, “I’m really happy to be able to finally see you in person. This means so much to me.”

“Me too.”

Just then, the room fell quiet as you just looked into each other’s eyes, seeing the sparkles coating both your pupils as he gently caressed your cheek. Right at that moment, Jacob seemed to read your mind as he gently pulled you up a little. Without much words, Jacob decides to ask the one question that both of you had in mind.

“Can I kiss you?”

With that, you smiled shyly as you nodded. Jacob smiles in victory as he leans down softly to finally feel your soft lips on his and it has never felt so magical. Both of you took in this new feeling as he kissed you sweetly.

You spent the next two weeks with him, just making the most of your time. A month after he went back to Korea, it was your turn to give him a surprise visit as you managed to book a flight to Korea, asking for Jacob’s help to fetch you at the airport and bring you over to his apartment.

You stayed with Jacob for two days before surprising Jacob for his birthday party. Jacob did such a good job at taking care of you and making sure that you weren’t lost in Korea.

Despite the long distance, it definitely made you two grow stronger and gain even more trust in one another. It was a blessing in disguise that you accepted his request 4 years ago.

And you regretted none of it.

~~~

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz jacob #the boyz joonyoung #the boyz jacob scenarios #the boyz jacob imagines #tbz jacob #tbz joonyoung #tbz joonyoung scenarios #tbz joonyoung imagines #tbz fluff #tbz jacob fluff #jacob bae

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avengerscompound · 3 years

Text

Small Gods: Patience - 4

Patience: A Black Widow Fanfic

Patience Masterlist | More Small Gods PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Rating: E

Word Count: 1786

Warnings: canon typical violence

Synopsis: Every day Natasha prays for more patience to deal with a litany of things from waiting for her target to make a move - to not yelling at Clint for putting empty milk containers back in the fridge.

When her prayers are answered, Natasha finds that having patience is easy, holding on to it is a little harder.

Chapter 4

Natasha was not good at emotions. She didn’t like them - so she buried them. It was better to be the cold and heartless assassin who could be killed at any moment than to risk being hurt in a way that mattered. She shut people out and pushed them towards others so at least she could see what being happy might look like on someone else, even if she never felt it herself.

Except - Natasha was happy.

It took her a little while to realize that was what the feeling was. She recognized happiness in those short joyful bursts where she’d be with a group of people you care about and they’ve all let their walls down and just briefly she would too. That quick burst of serotonin never lasted but always felt good while she had it.

That was nothing like what she was feeling now. It was a long-term contentedness, mixed with hope, and just enough excitement to keep her interested. It was scary really. She was vulnerable. She had something to lose.

Yet all around her things seemed better. Food tasted better. Spending time with her friends felt different - she could connect with them more. Even Clint’s annoying habits seemed to lean more to funny than annoying.

The others noticed it. Sometimes Clint would flinch when he made some stupid joke - like he was expecting to get cuffed on the back of the head, and when it didn’t come he’d look at her suspiciously - almost as if he thought she was saving up to get him later.

She put it all down to you.

Natasha was falling for you. Hard. She sought you out in her free time, and you popped in her head even at awkward times like on missions. You had cracked through her hard outer shell and even though she was scared of her soft parts being exposed, it felt good.

“Nat, head in the game,” Steve shouted.

Natasha whipped around to see a HYDRA agent running directly at her. She flipped forward, kicking them in the head and then following through with her baton. The agent practically flew backward and landed in a heap.

“Nat’s daydreaming about her lover again,” Tony teased as he blasted his way through a bunker.

Natasha scowled. She had been distracted, and she had been thinking about you. This kind of grunt work always felt mindless and repetitive, like putting books into boxes. She was a spy - not a soldier and it was easy to start thinking about other things when she was doing such repetitive work, but usually, the only thing she had occupying her mind was the job and the mindless banter happening over the comms.

“Please never say lover again, Tony,” Clint teased. “That gave me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Thor says it all the time!” Tony argued.

“Yeah, but that’s Thor!” Clint said. “Thor can say all kinds of weird shit and it sounds good. Doesn’t mean you get to.”

“Why thank you, Barton,” Thor chuckled. “That is very flattering.”

“I’m as good as Thor!” Tony yelped.

There was a sudden group shouting of dissent and Natasha couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. She had always had such a love-hate relationship with the group’s banter during battle. It was nice being part of them, and she did enjoy dropping her own snarky comment into the mix but growing up the way she did - fights were serious - fun was for other people. It felt slightly wrong to be joking while you were also fighting for her life.

“Let’s all agree right now that no one, not even Thor mentions anything about my lovers,” Natasha snarked.

The group continued to fight, Natasha pushing all thoughts of you down and focusing on the job. By the time everyone had been arrested, the operation had been shut down and Natasha had performed the lullaby on Hulk, it was late and Natasha was exhausted to the bone.

She piloted the Quin back silently, just listening to Clint jabber away as her thoughts drifted back to you. She knew there would be a debrief to go to, but what she really wanted was to go straight to your place and curl up next to you before passing out for a good twelve hours.

She could wait. She was better at that now. Besides, it was worth the wait.

She guided the jet down onto the launch pad and as it drew the jet down into the hanger, she and Clint began the cool-down procedures. The back of the jet opened up and everyone got up and trudged off.

When Clint got up to disembark, Steve took his place. “What happened out there today?” He asked. “You nearly lost your head.”

“That’s why we’re a team, isn’t it?” Natasha asked. “Make sure no one misses anything? Get each other’s backs?”

“Of course,” Steve assured her. “And we’re all here to pick up the slack.”

“I’m hearing a big ‘but’ coming,” Natasha said.

Steve smiled and shook his head. “But…” he said. “It’s not like you, Nat. You always have your head in the game more than anyone else. You’re the one I don’t have to worry about. So when I do, it worries me. Is everything okay?”

Natasha frowned. Her head wasn’t in the game. Steve was right. She was happy and happiness meant her work was suffering.

“Everything is fine, Steve,” she said.

“You sure?” Steve said. “I’m only asking as a friend. If there was something up, I’d want to help.”

“It’s fine. I’ll sort it out,” Natasha said.

Natasha was exhausted by the time she showed up at your place. She hadn’t slept for almost thirty-six hours and she thought that she’d broken a rib in the battle. She needed to see you though. Rip it off like a band-aid. She liked you. She liked you a lot. So much that if she didn’t cut it off now it was going to turn into love and once that happened, she wouldn’t be able to do it. If she was with you, she would be worse at her job, and if she didn’t have her job, she was nothing.

She knocked on your door.

She could hear you singing on the other side and when you pulled the door open your whole face lit up. “Tasha!” You squeaked and launched yourself into her arms. She made a pained ‘oof’ sound as you wrapped your arms around her, but that didn’t hurt as much as her heart did right at this moment. You were always so cool and put together, the excitement and pure joy you expressed seeing her were too much. Natasha was going to hurt you and it was going to kill her to do it. “I didn’t know you were back. I am so happy to see you.”

“Krasotka,” Natasha said, closing her arms around you and breathing you in.

You must have heard the pain in her voice because you pulled back immediately and looked you over. “Are you hurt?” You asked, pulling her inside. “Let me get you some ice.”

“It’s fine,” Natasha assured you. “I’m fine.”

“I can tell you aren’t,” you said, guiding her to the couch and almost pushing her down on it to sit. “What do you need? Have you eaten? I can get you food. Something to drink?” You paused and quirked your eyebrow. “Earth-shattering orgasm?”

“Sit down, Krasotka,” she said. “We need to talk.”

You narrowed your eyes and took a seat, folding your arms over your chest. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

Natasha nodded. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“‘This’ as in ‘us’?” You asked.

“That’s right,” Natasha said. Her heart was already hurting. She wished she was a stronger person. Someone who was allowed to have everything. Someone who could be in love and do her job. Someone who could be happy and not feel like the world was falling apart because of it.

“I supposed I should be glad you’re doing this in person,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “Do I get a reason?”

“Does it matter?” Natasha asked.

You nodded. “Yes. Because I know you’re happy when you’re with me, and I know you like me, so whatever it is, is stupid and if you say it out loud, I’m hoping you’ll be smart enough to figure that out yourself. I have faith in you.”

“I do like you,” Natasha said. “This isn’t about you. It’s about me.”

“Wow,” you scoffed, raising your hands. “I don’t think I have ever gotten the ol’ it’s not you, it’s me before. Continue.”

Natasha was getting angry now. She had expected you to be upset, not hostile. She had prepared for tears and begging, not to be told she was an idiot. She sat up straight and folded her arms. “This is hard for me, okay? I don’t owe you an explanation. It was fun. But now it’s over.”

“And that’s that?” You said.

“Yes,” Natasha said, getting up. “That’s that.”

You stood up too, bailing her up against the wall. She was half tempted to actually fight you. If that’s what you wanted to make this, she was quite capable of kicking your ass. You brought your face close to hers, she could feel the warmth of your breath on her lips. “You’re making a mistake, Natasha. I don’t know what happened while you were gone that got you all up in your head and made you think you don’t deserve me, but it doesn’t really matter. The world is not a place of fairness or balance. It’s just random chaos and in that, you called to me and I came. You’re going to realize that breaking up is a mistake. I know you will because it is. We’re good together and you wanted me. I can wait. I’m very patient.”

A million different arguments popped into Natasha’s head but instead, she just pushed you away and stormed out. She had never felt the desire to cry as much as she did right now. Her heart felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces and she’d done it to herself. She walked down the street not even knowing where she was headed, all she knew was that she wanted to go back up to you and tell you she was sorry and that you were right, but her anger and her pigheadedness stopped her. There was a bar on the corner, she went straight inside. She wouldn’t cry but she would drink. Maybe she’d even find someone to take her home tonight. Right now she’d do anything to stop herself from thinking that she’d made a huge mistake.

// NEXT

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #small gods #patience

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

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Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕💕💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

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