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travllingbunny · 4 years

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The 100: 7x05 Welcome to Bardo

Here’s finally my belated review of 7x05. I was too busy last week (with actual work) so I couldn’t write it before 7x06 aired. Then I got a bit distracted with my Dark rewatch and Dark season 3 dropping. But I’m taking a break from it to finally post this review and then, hopefully, 7x06 not long after. It’s good that I did a couple of rewatches because I could notice more details. (The review was already halfway over a week ago, so I added some remarks in italics that are things I only think now after seeing 7x06.)

This was an episode I was looking forward to and I enjoyed it, because it finally brought us to Bardo, in the belly of the beast so to speak (note: I wrote this sentence before I saw 7x06, and now I want to keep it because it’s just too funny that 7x06 put Clarke and co. in the literal belly of the beast), where the main action is likely to be, advanced the main plot of season 7 quite a lot, tied a few storylines and showed us Octavia in the present for the first time this season, and - not gonna lie - the highlight of the episode, 1 minute appearance of Bellamy, the first one since the first scenes of the season premiere.

However, I have to say that I wasn’t really impressed with the part of the episode that should have been the most interesting - Octavia’s flashbacks showing what happened to her when she was first taken to Bardo. It served its purpose by filling in the blanks, or rather confirming what I had already figured out, but for one thing, I didn’t get too much character focus in this episode, except for a touching Octavia-Hope scene and Echo’s disturbing actions in the end, which made for a pretty strong scene. And this time I was really bothered by the sloppiness of the details: from just how inconsistent the time dilation rules (rules? what rules?) seem at this point (already a problem before, but this episode made it even worse, especially since it focused on the timeline so much) to the messy selection of flashbacks in the Memory Capture scenes (while the timeline is the writers’ fault, this was obviously a case of the editor being really lazy). Maybe this is just nitpicking, but I find it really annoying when I can’t analyze details to come up theories because I have no idea which detail is a part of the plan and which is just a screw-up.

:Like everyone have some theories, including those about what really happened to Bellamy after his “death”. (At least they’re not even trying to make us believe Bellamy is dead on social media and in Inside the Episode features, like they tried last season with Clarke.)

This is why it ended up being an episode I liked less on rewatch, and I rank it behind 7x02, 7x04 and 7x01, although ahead of 7x03 (and, it turns out, 7x06). Even though the Sanctum portion of the episode was really strong and interesting this time.

Prepare for a lot of nitpicking of plot holes, and me about to incur the wrath of many t100 fans by explaining why I really dislike like the idea of an Octavia/Levitt endgame romance (it’s mostly because of their interactions in this episode).

This was the second episode this season where Marie said “Previously on” (I’m curious how many different cast members do it this season) and I think it’s the first time we saw the opening titles that were released before the S7 trailer, the ones that start with the Bardo Stone Room.

Sanctum

The deluded brainwashed folks in Sanctum who still worship the Primes have a name they have given themselves - the Faithful. And it seems that they call the people who aren’t brainwashed ‘the Fallen’. Has the show ever had such an annoying character as Trey, their leader?

I must say I related to Murphy when he suggested that maybe they should just let them burn themselves if that’s what they want, instead of letting them exert control that way. Yes, I know it’s bad. But that’s one of the things Murphy is good for, to sometimes say things that we all kind of think but would feel ashamed of saying aloud - at least if it was real life. However, Murphy - and I’m sure everyone - changed his mind when he saw they were going to burn children. And the father of the child who was about to be sacrificed (who we now know is called Jeremiah) looked confused and terrified. Maybe it’s just Trey and a couple of other fanatical people influencing and manipulating the others. Unfortunately, real life examples of people doing horrible things - even to their own children - in the name of what they believe in, to make me hesitate to call this too extreme to be plausible. But what is going on in the heads of these people? At least before, when the people of Sanctum were sacrificing their children or other loved ones or themselves, they believed it meant living forever and being one with the gods, but this?

Nelson is becoming quite a likable character even though he has only had a brief scene or two here and there. (And then the show goes and does... whatever the hell they’re doing with him in 7x06.) Like this time, when he was the only one who tried to save the Faithful woman who set herself on fire, explaining that the people of Sanctum are still their people, even the Faithful. (Now this is a much nicer face of the Children of Gabriel. Where was he when CoG were killing Nightblood people/potential hosts, even though that’s not the most efficient way to stop the Primes - as opposed to killing the Primes and destroying their mind drives?)

Great little character moment for Emori when she asked Nelson: “Even though they cast you out?” He probably doesn’t even know how much that resonates with her. Is this foreshadowing her storyline this season? Will she have to interact with or do something for the Grounders - or even specifically her clan, Sangedakru (which also happens to be the clan where Sheidheda was from - and the most likely to follow him if/when they find out who he is, since they seem to consider him their “greatest champion’)? (The latter seems slightly less likely now that Indra seems to have made them respect her authority... but I doubt it’s going to be that easy...)

BTW, speaking of Emori. let me just address the speculation that she’s pregnant - apparently based on the fact she threw up?! She threw up because she got radiation poisoning, FFS. If she were pregnant, the fetus would at least be in huge danger of not surviving. Maybe the writers of The 100 didn’t know or didn’t expect the audience to know about the effects of radiation, but come on, they must be aware that everyone has seen Chernobyl.) And Jackson, a doctor, examined her right there.

Murphy being snarky: “I’m tired of being a hero”. Hmm... when was the last time, Murphy, you were a hero without someone roping you in first, or without you following Emori’s lead or making a last moment decision? However, while Murphy likes to claim he doesn’t want to be a hero, Bellamy told him in 5x01 that Murphy’s problem on the Ring was that he actually wanted to be a hero and felt useless because he didn’t have the opportunity. Still, he’s come a long way since season 1, when he wasn’t exactly that protective of children.... Granted, Charlotte was not an innocent, but she was still a child. And he was 17 at the time, now he’s an adult.

I’m enjoying watching Indra in her new leadership role and her stand-offs with RussHeda. It’s very fortunate that Adina is not busy with AHS anymore, and JR Bourne makes for a fantastic villain - in a completely different way than Russell was. Russell was soft and emotional while also pompous and hypocritical and seemed to believe his own BS, which made him all the more annoying. Sheidheda is much smarter and has no delusions about being a good guy. He’s scary and dark but he also knows how to turn the situation to his benefit and has very rational remarks about how ridiculous the Faithful are with their tactic. He clearly has nothing but contempt for them. “My, my, what foolish little lambs you are.” (Which ties into this season’s themes of Shepherd and the flock.)

We learn more about Indra’s backstory, and this is the most I’ve been interested in Grounder history since... ever?

It’s also quite dark how she manipulates Jackson with his desire for revenge, by keeping the truth from him that RussHeda is not Russell. But Jackson’s dark side of his thirst for revenge for Abby has made him the most interesting that he’s ever been as a character.

I think that this storyline will eventually somehow tie with the main storyline. If nothing else then because Sheidheda and Madi are connected to the knowledge from the Flame, which is connected to Becca and ALIE and events from the prequel. Especially since it increasingly seems like the “great war” that’s being talked about may have something to do with AIs...

Bardo

Timeline and time dilation

Let me get this off my chest first... The timeline of this episode was confusing for some viewers in terms of the sequence of events. That isn’t the case for me - the problem is that the amount of time that was supposed to pass makes the time dilation seem really inconsistent.

So, chronologically, things happened like this:

in 6x08 (some 4 or 5 Sanctum days ago): Diyoza goes into the Anomaly; ends up on Skyring

Octavia goes into the Anomaly 6 seconds later, ends up on Skyring, 3 months (Skyring time) after Diyoza arrived. she gives birth.

Octavia and Diyoza spend 10 years there raising Hope.

Octavia sends a message to Bellamy in a bottle, not realizing the bottle ended up on Bardo (apparently, the default setting of the Anomaly, is: you go from Sanctum to Skyring and from Skyring to Bardo). Disciples capture her and Diyoza and take them to Bardo.

While Hope spends 10 more years on Skyring with Dev, before jumping to Bardo, Octavia is taken to Bardo, tried to run away, then is taken to Memory Capture. This is 45 (Bardo) days ago. She resists at first, but 34 Bardo days ago, she allows Levitt access to her memories and he starts watching them in a more coherent and chronological manner. 31 Bardo days ago, after he’s seen her memories up to the season 3 finale, Hope comes to rescue her.

Levitt helps them and Octavia is sent back to Sanctum, losing her memories, and runs back into Gabriel’s arms (no, I don’t mean it like that and I don’t ship them) - 10 Sanctum seconds after she ran into the Anomaly! (This is still 6x08)

7 Bardo days ago (which is some 2 days ago on Sanctum) or 6x13, Hope (who had probably been immediately captured when trying to save her mother - I guess she and the Disciples spent 24 days waiting for Octavia to enter Hope’s mind code into the Anomaly Stone...) is sucked into Sanctum, stabs Octavia with the tag which pulls her to Bardo. Octavia is brought to MCap again, and apparently Levitt talks to her and then she is brought to the Stone Room to talk Bellamy down. Something happens to Bellamy and Octavia is made to believe he’s dead.

in the present, Hope, Echo and Gabriel (after spending 5 years on Skyring, which was somehow 2 days on Sanctum (?)) jump to Bardo, kill some people, pretend to be DIsciples and listen to Anders’ speech, find Octavia, and see the memory of whatever happened or did not happen to Bellamy.

Now this means that the time differentials between planets have been like this:

Sanctum: 6 seconds = Skyring: 3 months

Sanctum:10 seconds = Skyring: over 20 years (because Hope spent 20 years on Skying and at least a few hours on Bardo, all in those 10 Sanctum seconds)

Sanctum: a few seconds (under 10 seconds, probably a lot less) = Bardo: 14 days (from “45 days ago” to “31 days ago”)

Sanctum: about 2 or 3 days = Bardo: 24 days

Sanctum: 2 days = Bardo: 7 days

Sanctum: a little over 1 day = Skyring: 5 years

See the problem here?

@justbecauseyoubelievesomething pointed out before that the time differentials may vary a lot because of planets orbiting their suns (and Sanctum orbiting its planet and the suns) in elliptic orbits, so distances from the black hole change. However, the problem with this is that 1) they haven’t said that on the show and instead keep talking about the time differentials as if they are at least roughly the same or similar all the time, and 2) these fluctuations vary way too much for it to make any sense? If it was just 1:3 and then 1:7, for instance, OK - but how the heck does the time differential between Sanctum and Bardo go from 1:200,000 to 1:3?

How is this supposed to work? Do people on Bardo go:

“We’re sending a team to Sanctum!”

“Understood! We will need just an hour to retrieve the target!” “But Sir... they’ll return in 20 years! We have to wait till next week, then an hour will be just 7 hours here!”

“All right, we have to wait for the next week then!”

And do these fluctuations happen just between Sanctum and Bardo or Sanctum and Skyring, or also between Bardo and Skyring? The latter would make their prison system quite complicated and tricky!

A couple of other pieces of info -

Levitt put the “Trust Bellamy” note in Hope’s arm during his MCap session (because he knew what Bellamy was to Octavia), but Anders apparently did not realize why Hope was bleeding or that it had something to do with Levitt, though he was the only one who could’ve had any contact with her?

One thing I don’t get is the part where Anders says: “it’s why you’re a prisoner dressed like a savage so you can get close to Aunty O”. Why did they have to dress Hope in Grounder-like clothes, exactly?

We also see that Meredith’s team was told to go to Sanctum and find Clarke - though it’s unclear why they waited so long to send them. Or why Meredith’s team waited about a day and a half to contact Clarke. We see Anders telling Meredith: “Because of the time dilation, no one will come for you if you fail” - and I have no idea that’s supposed to mean, especially since I don’t know what time differential it was supposed to be at the time.

Octavia in Memory Capture

...And I’m gonna nitpick some more.

Maybe it’s not a big deal that many of the scenes we saw as Octavia’s memories didn’t make sense, because they were either scenes she wasn’t present for or scenes from the future (relative to the moment when she was on Bardo the first time), but I expected better, after the wonderful attention to detail in last season’s Nevermind and Matryoshka, where neither the prop masters nor editors and sound editors made any mistakes with what we saw and heard of Clarke’s memories.

So, 45 days ago, when Octavia was first brought to Bardo, and Anders and Levitt were seeing random memories against her will, the first thing she’s told is to imagine someone holding out a hand to her to help her, and we see brief flashes of various memories (aka scenes from the previous seasons) before her mind settles of many different images of Bellamy:

Aurora with baby Octavia

Lincoln, just before his death

Indra - when Octavia finds her and talks to Clarke and Lexa (3x05) - of course this is there because of Indra, but I don’t know if Clarke is also supposed to be one of the people O thinks of: we see her quite clearly as she’s saying she must talk to Bellamy to save their people

and then a bunch of images of Bellamy - which is where things start not making sense, because while we see him

in the Pilot on the dropship (that makes sense)

in season 5 when he argued with Octavia (also makes sense)

but we also see him dressed Gabriel’s cardigan, which he only wore after reuniting with Octavia in 6x10, after she came back from Bardo, and one of the images is definitely from 6x13 when Hope came from the Anomaly (future scenes!)l

we also see the scene where Bellamy was looking for Octavia and talked to Clarke in 1x06 (where Octavia was obviously not present for! It’s also the scene right after the Aurora flashback - the editor were obviously being super lazy)

and Bellamy in an anti-radiation suit in 4x13 when he had to leave Clarke (the only way Octavia could remember that is if she had a telepathic link to her brother!)

Other memories include Murphy in Pike’s class (clearly just as a cool transition from a Murphy scene in Sanctum), but it was really funny how horrified Octavia seemed when Levitt asked her if he was her lover. ;) Levitt clearly got a bunch of images of her friends - including Raven, Clarke (from the Pilot!) and Indra, whose images we see on screen in addition to Bellamy - and he finally sees a bunch of memories of Hope on Skyring, which is what she was trying to hide the most.

At this point, Octavia desperately tries to make a deal with Levitt - he doesn’t mention Hope in his report, and lets her go later, and she’ll let him into her memories. Just before Levitt starts watching her memories in the chronological order, we hear some more of Octavia’s memories in her head (they aren’t showing on the screen, where the same flashbacks as before are playing):

banishing Echo in 4x11

Bellamy deciding to leave her in 6x03 (“Are you out of your mind? You didn’t need to kill anyone!”)

Miller saying “Blodreina gave that honor to me!”

Octavia yelling “You’re dead to me!” to Bellamy (in that disturbing scene in 3x10) and...

Hallucination!Pike telling her she caused a world to be destroyed and herself yelling she wanted “REDEMPTION!” - which is another inconsistency, because comes from a red toxin hallucination that she’ll only have after she returns to Sanctum (in 6x09)! At least you could say this was already in her subconsciousness, but these were supposed to her memories!

When she starts cooperating, Levitt basically binges the first 3 seasons of The 100 - or rather, a version of it where Octavia is the main character and everything is only from her POV - ending with 3x16, which is probably pretty significant, as they showed several moments right before Clarke destroyed the City of Light and the moments after she came back. We see Bellamy telling everyone what to do as they were fighting chipped people to protect Clarke, Clarke on the throne in the City of Light, Pike fighting chipped!Jaha, Pike saving Octavia, and, and after the destruction of the COL, Murphy and Emori hugging, and finally - Octavia stabbing Pike.

This is where Levitt goes “Yes!” - which makes me (and Octavia) feel real tonal dissonance. He reveals himself to be a true Octavia stan, the kind who thinks their favorite character simply cannot go wrong and who doesn’t just defend her and have an understanding and empathy for her motives and emotional states (which is great), but cheers even the bad things she did (which is not great). Now, if Levitt is meant to be a representation of a typical stan, that’s great. The show has, this season in particular (and even in S6 to a point - through Jordan) been dealing with the idea of Clarke, Octavia and other main characters as living legends. And a lot of t100 fans - including every single YouTube reactor I’ve seen - always cheers and says they’re happy when she kills Pike. I didn’t feel that way, so there’s that. And sure, some of that is because I didn’t hate Pike. But what’s more important is: that moment was never portrayed as a triumphant one. (It it was meant to be, it would have been Octavia killing Pike in a battle, or something similar to the scene where Lincoln killed Cage Wallace in 2x16, not Octavia stabbing Pike when he didn’t expect it, after they had fought together and right after he had saved her life. It wouldn’t have shown Bellamy and Clarke worried about Octavia, or made it her ‘start of darkness’ moment that led to her becoming a murder-obsessed assassin in season 4. And 6x09 made a point that Octavia herself saw this act as a wrong one - that she thinks she didn’t have the right to murder someone in cold blood even though she had legitimate reasons to hate him. The show generally doesn’t portray revenge-murder as a good thing. And that is true in this scene, too: we see flashbacks of Pike at his most heroic (fighting chipped Jaha and Pike right after he saved Octavia’s life) before the scene of her stabbing him, and while Levitt is like “YES!”, Octavia seems upset to see that moment again and a tear is falling from her eyes.

So why, then, is the show apparently portraying Levitt’s uncritical stanning of everything Octavia does as a great thing, and why are so many fans and reviewers convinced that Levitt is a great new love interest for Octavia, possibly her endgame love interest, because of his adoration of her and the praise her gives her? (And 7x06 has made me think that, yes, the show is definitely portraying him as a potential love interest.) Yes, I agree that Octavia needs someone to help boost her self-esteem and tell her she’s not a monster, that she’s a good person at heart, that she’s worthy of love. But it would mean so much more if it came from someone who was able to relate to her as an equal and also acknowledge her dark side and be critical of the bad things she did. “I understand why you did this and it doesn’t make you a terrible person” is different from “Everything you did is right and awesome.” I liked what he said about her as a child, how she was even then being responsible and protecting her mother and brother and not just herself by hiding. But it’s absurd to tell someone “You’re not a killer, you’re a warrior” right after you’ve seen them murder someone out of revenge in what most definitely wasn’t a battle or a fight. The fact is that Octavia is both a warrior and a killer. They all are - she, Clarke, Bellamy, all of them. Having a good heart and understandable motives doesn’t change that fact.

If Levitt is supposed to just be a Disciple with a crush that makes him help Octavia, fine, but I can’t see a potential romance there - it would be like a relationship between a celebrity and an obsessive fan.

World-building

This episode was full of world-building info, probably what I liked about it the most:

Levitt seemed particularly interested in Clarke and the fact she was in the City of Light, which makes me think that the reason why she is ‘the key’ in the eyes of the Disciples has something to do with Becca’s tech and ALIE in particular, and that the enemy they’re afraid of may be some sort of an AI.

We finally saw Bardo. Not that it was surprising since we already knew from the opening titles and 7x04 that the compound was underground and that it was a dome with artificial atmosphere and that it included an arboretum, Stone Room, which is on the way to the cells, etc. I checked to see if it matched the layout drawn by Orlando. I had assumed that the numbers were levels in the structure, but while Orlando put Arboretum as 1, it is on level 2.

It seems that all the Disciples were either black or white clothes. (Fits with the black and white way of thinking.) From what we’ve seen so far, it seems that the military, so to speak (fighters/those who jump to other planets) wear black, while the Stone Conductors, people who do the Memory Capture, other scientists, as well as other personnel (like janitors or gardeners/groundskeepers) wear white. Anders himself, the First Disciple, wears white, so I suppose he is one of the “civilians’.

Anders claims that the Disciples have risen above “lesser emotions” and learned to value the collective rather than the individuals. But from what we’ve seen of other Disciples, that’s BS. That may be their ideology, but in fact, they’re just the same as anyone else and just as prone to developing feelings of love and bonds of friendship as anyone else.

Levitt is Level 11! Which makes you wonder how hard the Disciples really check how ‘devout’ the Disciples are. But maybe he’s just too important as an expert,

We see the MCap technology at work. But we also see that it’s not easy to extract memories from an unwilling subject. Levitt has apparently mostly done this to the Disciples themselves (you’d think most of them would be willing, but obviously some were not, since they sound like they already have experience with unwilling subjects.) Levitt tries to get Octavia to comply because he’s a Good Cop by telling her that they may get his colleague instead, who will “burn right through” her brain. (But as we see from the Diyoza flashback in 7x06, that’s not true - the other guy, Kirsch, doesn’t do that when Diyoza is uncooperative. I don’t think they are actually able to do that.)

The Disciples usually send teams every 30 minutes (but these 30 minutes are drastically different on Sanctum and on Skyring!)

More about how the Anomaly Stones work: while Dev told Hope that all you need to do Is think where you want to go and the helmet will do the rest, it’s not actually that magical - in fact, you actually need someone (normally the Conductor) to push the buttons on the Anomaly Stone.

According to Levitt, pulling someone from another planet through the Anomaly is “ safe 8 out of 10 times". What happens the other 20% of times? Is it really being “turned inside out” as Hope said in 7x02?

It’s also confirmed that people lose their memories if they travel without the helmets from a faster to a slower time dilated planet (which I had already figured out based on the fact that the danger only seemed to exist when travelling from Skyring/Bardo to Sanctum and from Skyring to Bardo, but not the other way round).

When Hope was about to leave to save her mother, Levitt tried to tell her: “They have helmets, too, that means that…” – what? That they can see her? Meredith’s team didn’t see Raven, so it can’t be that. But do they have some other way of communicating? Do you have to be actively thinking for them to detect you? Whatever it is, she should’ve listened as she quickly got caught.

Eyes are important as it’s through them that the biometric signature/mind code is made. And the Disciples have a very quick way of painting/tattooing the code on someone’s back.

What exactly is the problem with the atmosphere on Bardo? There is a biohazard alert as Octavia is brought in and she’s checked for some sort of an infection (“she’s clean”). It seems that the problem is with some kind of a disease (especially with what we hear from Levitt in 7x06).

In the category of revelations that weren’t a surprise at all since the fandom has figured them out weeks ago, Gabriel realizes that there is a Stone on Earth (as we saw in 7x04 and in the opening titles - it’s the offline planet), by listening to Anders’ speech where he mentions that the Shepherd delivered them by a stone. (Confirming the theory that Disciples are Second Dawn even before that was technically confirmed in 7x06 and that Cadogan led them through the Anomaly some time after the Apocalypse and after burning Becca. I suppose they disconnected the Stone so unbelievers could not follow them.)

There’s a ton of new info about the history of Bardo. According to the Disciples, the compound was built by “Native Bardoans”, who went extinct before the Disciples got there. And they were supposedly giants, but were turned by something called “Gen9″ into “crystal giants”?! Levitt says that the whole min code could fit on a Bardoan’s arm? (How does he know that?) I call BS on that. The rooms and doors in the compound are tall, but wide enough just for a human-sized person to pass through. (And there are plenty of human buildings with very tall doors and ceilings.) The retinal scans are fitted to the human eye, all the technology is human-sized, and, most importantly, the keys on the Anomaly Stone are the size of a human finger. The whole thing reminds of many legends that various big ancient buildings were built by giants. I still think Eligius III people were the ones who built the compound. We still haven’t heard anything of them and where they fit. And with the time dilation, they could’ve been on Bardo for decades or centuries before Second Dawn arrived a few Earth years later.

What is Gen9? I assume it’s a disease (especially with all the mentions of the polluted atmosphere on the surface), but it’s also been suggested it may be a computer program, which would fit with the idea of the enemy being an AI or connected to AIs. I like the theory that it’s not short from “Generation 9″ but “Genesis 9″, which would fit with the religious themes (the Disciples mix and match a lot of pseudo-Christian and pseudo-Buddhist ideas). Genesis 9 is the chapter about God’s Covenant with Noah, where God tells him that humans should go and multiple and feed on plants and animals, but they mustn’t eat what has lifeblood in it still, and they mustn’t shed the blood of another human being. “I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.“

These are the transcripts of all the prayers and speeches of the Disciples from this episode, as much as I was able to hear them:

[prayer] “In the light of the Shepherd, for all mankind. He will save us from the war to end all wars”

[female speaker] "The Shepherd brings us wisdom. The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind. (...) Humanity (...) (final days)… burned, (...) as bombs launched, your ancestors chose a different path. There will soon be time when we will be tested to a man, and we will be victorious. For all mankind!"

[male introducing Anders]“And now, it is my greatest honor to present the esteemed First Disciple, who will lead us through today’s lesson on the Book of Allness.”

Anders: “Thank you, Emilio. In the light of the Shepherd, for all mankind!

Let’s first take a moment to acknowledge our newest class of Level 9s. You’ve each demonstrated impressive devotion to the Shepherd. Our predecessors on this planet did not share that faith. Like our ancestors on Earth, they destroyed their world. Even before they were wiped out by Gen 9 and turned into crystal giants, their atmosphere was so polluted they were forced to build forests underground in order to breathe. Even the rain that should fall from the sky, falls instead by their technology. For that, we thank them. But where are they now? We know that by the time the Shepherd delivered us with the stone, the Bardoans were gone, extinct. Why is that? [Someone from the crowd: “They didn’t have the Shepherd!” Everyone laughs. Oh, Disciple humor... ] No, they didn’t, did they? They [unintelligible, Gabriel speaks over this part]… they lost their last great war. That same enemy is coming after us now. But, in the light of the Shepherd, we will not lose. [crowd cheers] We’re close now. We’ve located the key. After hundreds of years it has returned to us. Ours is the generation that will win the last war! Our Shepherd will rise [unintelligible] and we will win (?) this fight, for all mankind!”

Hi, Bellamy! Bye, Bellamy! See ya later!

And for the most important thing in this episode: yes, we were blessed with a rare and joyous moment,, a sighting of Bellamy Blake on screen (and not in MCap but in an actual new scene), as occurrence as rare this season as (probably) the Disciples seeing the Shepherd.

While absolutely no one is buying the fake-out death (about as convincing as Clarke’s in 6x04 or Octavia’s in 6x13, though I now wonder if leaving Bellamy out of the poster and Bob out of the Countdown was a part of the fake-out they committed to), there have been many different theories about what really happened there, if the whole scene was staged or if it even happened or was an implanted memory. (The glitch effects between scenes may have contributed to that theory, but the glitch effect occurred at random points, e.g. when Hope remembered her conversation with Anders, and I don’t see why that would be a false memory.)

For a moment, I even wondered if Levitt talking to Octavia was her hallucination (seeing a comforting figure) because it seemed quite implausible that Anders and the others had only then started to figure out that he got too close to her, and that they were still letting her come anywhere near her. But 7x06 proved I was wrong. Well, maybe Anders has realized Levitt had helped Octavia and Hope and it’s all some elaborate trap where he is using Levitt as an unwitting pawn, though that seems a bit convoluted... or maybe Anders just isn’t actually that smart as we assume he should be.

I’ve never believed in the ‘implanted memory’ theory, and people have since pointed out that there’s a sign of damage from the blast in the Stone Room.

The other prevalent theory is that the whole scene was staged by the Disciples and that Bellamy himself was in on it because he’s been brainwashed. The arguments are - it’s unlikely that Bellamy managed to overpower a few Disciples after being captured unconscious, and that there’s supposedly something “off” about him in that scene because he had been crying just before that. I don’t think there’s anything “off”, and he had learned that Octavia was alive, so why do people expect him to be crying rather than fighting to save her? As for it being unlikely that he killed a couple of Disciples immediately, overpowered another and captured the Conductor - I’m sorry, but have you seen the Disciples this season? They are being killed by pretty much every main character. And maybe some fans see Bellamy as a soft sweet teddy bear of a man and think that only women on t100 are allowed to be good fighters, but canon Bellamy is pretty damn badass and really good at fighting. What would be actually hard to believe is that Bellamy could get brainwashed over the course of a few hours. I’m sorry, but no.

People also said the fact that Bellamy asked what the heck Octavia was talking about when she used the opportunity to tell him that Disciples wanted Clarke (”I’ll tell them everything, even about Clarke”) was a sign he had lost his memories or been brainwashed and that he didn’t know who Clarke was - which is a really convoluted argument. The simplest and most obvious answer is that he was surprised and wanted to know what they wanted with Clarke.

There was actually something odd about that scene - but it was Anders’ behavior. after Octavia said that line about Clarke and after Bellamy reacted to it, he got a very strange look on his face, and the camera was focusing on him. The second odd thing is that the Conductor got very upset at that moment and started begging Anders: “Sir, please, no”, before Anders shut him up - which seemed like an overreaction to the possibility of... what? Letting a prisoner go? This makes me think that the Disciple on the floor detonating a grenade was a part of the ploy by Anders. He certainly was never going to send Bellamy to Sanctum - I have an idea where he actually sent him - but what if he was also signalling something to the Disciple - that he should detonate the grenade? Which would be a smoke screen so Octavia, Levitt and others wouldn’t know what really happened to Bellamy and would think he was dead.

But why would Anders want Octavia to think he was dead? It’s certainly not to make her cooperate, because that was only ever likely to have the opposite effect. But also - why would the Disciples focus on making Octavia tell them more about Clarke, when they could try to use Bellamy for the same purpose? From Octavia’s memories, they must have known how close Bellamy and Clarke are. (Or did Levitt tell Anders that? If he did not, that was an additional reason to suspect Levitt and hide information from him. If Anders was only starting to realize there’s a connection between Clarke and Bellamy, that could have changed his plans.) And they could do more with Bellamy than just try to get his memories. They could use him (his life, his safety) to draw in Clarke, the “key”. If Anders has sent Bellamy somewhere and wanted to hide his whereabouts and make people on Bardo think he’s dead for the time being, the blast could be a good distraction, before he plays that card. (All of this, of course, assuming Anders is actually smart.)

Now, where is Bellamy? He certainly wasn’t sent back to Sanctum, and Anders had no reason to send him to Skyring or Nakara (if he needs him alive and under his control, that would defeat the purpose), And there’s no indication that it’s possible for the Anomaly Stone to send a person to another location on the same planet. So, I believe Bellamy has been sent to Etherea. That would be the reason to finally go to the only planet of the 6 that we haven’t seen yet. I’ve also had the theory that Etherea is the slowest of all the planets - because, if you’re using time dilation as a plot point, why wouldn’t you milk it for its worth? And if that’s the case - good news is that Bellamy won’t get almost any older, but the bad news is that he’s lost all his memories. But not too bad of a news, since he’d get them back as soon as he gets to a faster planet.

This would open some juicy story possibilities...

An Echo of Finn (and Octavia?)

This episode continued the trend we’ve already seen in 7x04 - Hope is becoming more of a killer after her first kill on Skyring, Echo is reverting to her identity as as ruthless spy and killer (and occasionally murderer, as at the of this episode), in her 5-year single-minded mission to save Bellamy and now as a result of believing that Bellamy is dead and her mission was for nothing. And Gabriel is getting more and more frustrated with both of them, especially Echo, and constantly going “will you stop killing people, please?” (Well, not in those words.) (And I’m wondering how close he really got to the others, since they spent 5 years together and were preparing to jump to Bardo, but Hope never told Gabriel about Levitt?! )

There was some irony earlier in the episode when Hope seemed almost ready to attack Anders in front of hundreds of Disciples (she really hates him - I guess because she knew they were torturing her mother), and Echo told her to “pull herself together”, since it was Echo later that lost it, murdered Kirsch the memory capture guy in a particularly brutal way, and blew their chances of using him to get to Diyoza, which would’ve been a terrible blow to Hope if Diyoza hadn’t freed herself anyway, as we see in 7x06.

(Kudos to Tasya for being really good in that scene, she made Echo look genuinely scary. I’ve often criticized her acting, but this time she was really on point.)

So let’s talk about this moment and Echo’s arc this season.

Some people say that this is just a normal reaction to “losing the love of your life” and that everyone would react the same. But we’ve seen other characters lose people they deeply loved, and they did not react the same way. We’ve seen Bellamy react to Octavia’s “death” in S4 and Clarke’s “death” in S6. We’ve seen Clarke react to many of her loved ones’ deaths, most recently to her mother’s. Her grief over her mother was shown in detail over several episodes, and we saw her explode in the end, but while she beat up Russell, she stopped herself from killing him (and Russell was the actual person who murdered her mother and had previously tried to murder Clarke herself and stole her body for his daughter). In S6, Bellamy wanted to kill Russell (again, the actual person responsible for Clarke’s death) and burn the Sanctum down, but he stopped himself. In this very episode, we see Octavia react to her brother’s “death”. which she sees as very real, but she hasn’t started going around and killing anyone she gets her hands on.

Now, Octavia of the past, S3 Octavia, was different, far less mature, more violent, and she did react violently to Lincoln’s death, including becoming a murderer - now, the person she murdered was the one directly responsible for Lincoln’s death, but she also went on to become an assassin and became rather murder-happy, before stopping herself just as she was about to kill Ilian the same way Pike killed Lincoln.

Another obvious parallel is to Finn and the way he was losing control and becoming more violent, ruthless and selfish, from murdering a Grounder prisoner, to wanting to leave Mel literally hanging from a cliff because she was unimportant in his eyes compared to his goal of finding and “saving” Clarke (who, it turned out, didn’t even need saving and had saved herself), to completely losing it and killing a bunch of completely innocent people. The guy Echo killed here wasn’t really innocent, but he wasn’t responsible for Bellamy’s “death”, either, and Echo’s behavior on her quest to save Bellamy has been increasingly violent throughout the season. And, while we knew Clarke was alive and well, we don’t know where Bellamy is but he is still alive and will probably eventually meet Echo again, just like Clarke reunited with Finn.

(Mind you: I don’t think Echo’s killing spree is the reason why Becho will fall apart. The relationship was already disintegrating in S6, if you pay any attention. This is more about Echo herself and where she finds herself without that relationship. Finn’s killing spree wasn’t the reason why Flarke fell apart, either. Clarke still had feelings for Finn, but she had rejected him for other reasons, i.e. his earlier behavior. )

What do all these actions have in common? They weren’t romantic, they were f*cking unhealthy. When Finn told Clarke that he killed all those people for her, she was horrified, and I was really angry at him for telling her something that terrible.

In Finn’s case, he may have been suffering from PTSD, and his feelings for Clarke were turning into an obsession and made him look almost like a stalker. In Echo’s case, she has serious identity issues and her childhood trauma and conditioning by Queen Nia. But the show is, in this case, more open about the fact that, for Echo, it’s not all about romantic love. or love in general. She has lost her purpose. Bellamy is not just her boyfriend, he’s her King, like Nia and Roan before him. Echo’s own subconsciousness has been telling her that this is a problem, and that her relationship with Bellamy is very unbalanced. “Without Bellamy, who will you follow? Without someone to follow, who are you?” It also told her that she has remained the same as before she became a part of the Spacekru and his girlfriend: “Once a killer, always a killer.” ““The honorless spy who would do anything for her queen, even betray the man she now claims to love?” In S5 and S6, Bellamy was trying to not “make the same mistakes”, and “do better”, and was always rejecting Echo’s more ruthless suggestions of how to deal with any potential enemies, and she always fell in line as he was the leader/ Without him, she is reverting to her old patterns.

It’s not romantic or a sign of soulmate love to wrap your whole identity over one person. It’s really unhealthy. It was also unhealthy when Octavia said she didn’t have a home and didn’t belong anywhere after Lincoln’s death because he was “her home”. She had to grow out of that. Maybe she could offer some advice to Echo now. Will it work or not? I don’t know.

What I’m sure of is that Becho is doomed, but the writing on the wall has been there at least throughout season 6, if not already in season 5. What I don’t know is how Echo’s own arc this season will end. She will have to forge a new identity, but what will it be? Will she start following someone else? (That would be a pretty depressing arc.) Become independent, but still a ruthless killer? Will she start thinking about the morality of her actions as most other o the major characters do? Will she fail to find any solution and will die? Not every character on the show gets to have an uplifting arc where they solve their issues. Her arc is different from Finn’s because his dark arc was a completely new and shocking development, while Echo is reverting to who she used to be. But I think it’s more likely that she gets a more positive ending than Finn, because the show has been paralleling storylines in seasons 6-7 to storylines of early seasons (like Sanctum-Mount Weather) but with a more positive outcome.

Best moments/lines

While Bellamy’s 1-minute appearance was undoubtedly the highlight of the episode, my favorite scenes were Octavia’s reunion and goodbye with Hope (even with Hope being an adult now, Octavia talks to her as a surrogate aunt: “I love you, little one, don’t you ever forget it”), the scenes with Murphy and the kids and the battle of wills between Indra and Sheidheda.

The best line by far was Hope’s reply to Anders:

“This is what happens when you value individuals above the collective”

Hope: “It’s called love, you son of a bitch,”

Body count:

One Faithful burned herself.

another fanatical suicide: a Disciple who detonated the grenade (at Anders’ orders?) in the flashback scene with Bellamy

a bunch of Disciples killed, again. For a group that’s supposed to be so badass and scary, they really failing to be that, since they’re constantly getting their asses kicked. OK, they are not all Level 12, and Orlando was both Level 12 and a teacher of fighting skills. And yes, Echo and Hope (and Gabriel, who hasn’t killed anyone so far) have had almost 5 years of training by Orlando, while Octavia and Bellamy (and Diyoza, of course) are incredibly badass even without it. But you can’t keep them getting killed so easily and expect me to take them seriously. This time, Bellamy killed a couple in the flashback, and Hope and Echo killed a few, including a particularly sadistic murder of Kirsch the Memory Cap guy.

Rating: 7.5/10

#the 100 #the 100 season 7 #the 100 7x05 #welcome to bardo #octavia blake #bellamy blake #indra kom trikru #indra #sheidheda #john murphy #echo kom azgeda #hope diyoza #gabriel santiago #cadogan #the disciples #bardo #time dilation #the anomaly

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ngeibheann · 3 years

Text

Nobody Needs to Know

don’t ask why i’m doing this just [john mulaney voice] go! FETCH!

For the record, medicine isn't miracles. He's not really sure what it'll take for other people to get that through their thick skulls.

A re-write of The Oaths They Take, almost five years later.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880353

When shit goes south with a dullahan, Worth spends about two hours cleaning wounds, applying runes, and swearing at any little thing that moves. Hanna’s out for the night, medicated to a comfortable sleep on Worth’s insistence that he needs to be asleep unless he makes a break for it to go chasing after the monster again. He puts tall, dark, and dead in charge of making sure he stays asleep, but leaving the room gives him the perfect opportunity to start antagonizing a vampire the second he starts asking questions.

It’s an awful goddamn pantomime they’ve got going on. Someone gets hurt, someone starts yelling, someone starts punching. It’s a social re-run, with the dialogue blurring together with past arguments. It’s remixed and retooled, and suddenly calling someone a cunt seems fresh and exciting. What’s less fresh would be the right hook to the jaw, knuckles scraping just barely against teeth.

In their equal defenses, bickering about how much effort Worth had put into stabilizing Hanna probably was going to end with someone swinging. A lot of bloody rage for his apparent ineptitude as a medical professional, a lot of misplaced wish-upon-a-star bullshit about what medicine can do and how fast it works.

“Medicine ain’t magic, an’ I’m not some fuckin fairy. You, maybe. Not me.”

The comment is spat out with a tall leer and a bandaged hand running across his face, attention paid to a busted lip. The indignant look Conrad gives Worth isn’t anything new, but there’s a flash of what, regret? That maybe behind all of the bastard bravado there’s something that makes him feel some kind of guilt for hitting him? Shame isn’t tolerated in the clinic, usually.

Worth crosses his arms over his chest when he realizes the silence is punctuated by that stare. “He’s gonna be out fer awhile. Y’can leave if yer gonna just stare at me like that.”

Conrad blinks himself out of the daze, mirroring the crossed arms in a bout of defensiveness. “I expected you to punch me back.”

He doesn’t expect the doctor to roll his eyes, a sigh like a heavy hiss before moving away from his position in their little stage at the center of the clinic, meandering back to a filing cabinet behind his desk. Conrad follows, if only out of morbid curiosity when he hears him mutter don’t feel like it as a response.

“Wait, wait,” Conrad says, hand dropping onto the scuffed surface of Worth’s desk, only to immediately retract it when he comes into contact with some sort of slick substance that sticks to his hand for a moment. “You’re pissed.”

Worth doesn’t dignify the analysis with a response, hissing and cursing at the filing cabinet when he rattles it loose on its bearings. It groans and screeches on the rails, metal screams against metal— the contents inside clattering with a glassy clatter and wet noise. It’s enough to cause some flinching on Conrad’s behalf, vampire senses be damned.

When Worth turns around, he’s got a handle of tequila in hand and a neutral glare on his face. He sidles closer to Conrad, lean-sitting against the edge of the desk and unscrewing the cap of the bottle with deadened abandon. It’s unnatural, his silence stilted and the level of visible malice in him dropped to a complete standstill. It’d be pleasant if it didn’t manage to fill Conrad with curious dread.

“Don’t tell me you grew a conscience after I decked you,” Conrad says, if only to goad Worth into acting more like himself and less like a haunted mannequin. “I might think you actually—“

Worth cuffs him in the back of the head, his free hand delivering an open-palmed smack while he takes a belt from the amber bottle. It’s a sharp hit, enough to earn an ow, fuck in response. The look he gets is incredulous, offended, and yet somehow died back to a state of bewildered mystery.

“Fuck yer conscience bullshit,” Worth finally bites out, bottle hanging loosely from the neck in his grasp. “Yeh wouldn’t be in here pissin’ an’ moanin’ about m’ bedside manner if yeh actually had an ounce a’ competence in your body. All of yeh, fuckin’ amazing.”

“Oh, so Hanna being attacked by some weird horseman thing is my fault, now?” Conrad asks, and his fists curl at the nod he receives in return to the question.

“All of yer faults. Stupid as sin, can’t keep that kid outta trouble, then yeh come in and have me patch Little Red Ridin’ Rune back up—“

“Keeping him out of trouble is like keeping you out of a fucking liquor store, jackass.”

The interruption earns another swat, only to be stopped mid-swing when Conrad swivels to grab his wrist with some degree of bruising force. Worth swears under his breath, sucks in air through his teeth, and takes another drink.

Conrad glares back at him, bony wrist still in hand. “So were you always this much of a callous douche, or do you just need therapy and an AA meeting?”

“What is this, a first date?”

“Always a dick. Got it.”

There’s a long pause before Worth thrusts the bottle of tequila in Conrad’s general direction, the tension in his shoulders dropping when he gives a protracted sigh. Conrad doesn’t take the offer, which then lets Worth remember that right, he is a vampire. No matter how much tequila is in his bloodstream, there’s no blood in booze.

“Take a wild guess why I dropped out.” Worth says, an exhausted command. The bottle sits on the last remaining free space on the desk, atop a stack of messy papers. Conrad finally lets go of his wrist, only to cross his arms and close his eyes in an overblown act of thought.

“My money’s on illiteracy or completely flunking out.” Conrad says, finger tapping against his arm. He opens his eyes to look back at Worth with a smug grin. “Am I right, or am I painfully right?”

“I’ve got a BS in pre-med, dickhead,” Worth says, but there’s some degree of a smile on his face. It’s weird, Conrad admits to the existence of some positive expression on Worth as a bizzaro hex, but it’s more welcome than whatever hollow demon was possessing him moments ago.

“You’re bluffing.”

“I went t’ fuckin’ NYU. Grossman.”

Conrad stares back at him, knowing full well the insinuation is that Worth did well, and at some point, had an obscene amount of money. Certainly passed an MCAT along the way, which is possibly the most un-Worth thing he could have ever guessed. But, by the venom in the way he says Grossman, Conrad knows it’s not a lie.

“So, why’d you leave, then? Money run out?” Conrad asks, and Worth makes a point of looking back to the exam room, as if he could somehow see everything behind the wood of the door. His hands tent together before picking at the gauze on his arms.

“Yeh ever think about how patient info sounds like bible verses?” Worth asks, which gets a blank stare if only for the insane revelation that Worth gives enough of a damn about the bible to draw that conclusion. “John, 19. Claire, 28. Steven, 14. Like that.”

Conrad clears his throat to absolve him of any lingering ogling of the way Worth seems to quiet himself when he brings up the suggestion, fixated on his own arms. “Can’t say I have.”

Worth looks up from his wrists, head slightly tilted. There’s exhaustion in his expression that his voice barely carries. “Y’think about it more when they die.”

“You dropped out because—“

“I didn’t have th’ balls t’ watch people mistake medicine fer miracles every night a’ my life? Or maybe it was watchin’ people die?” Worth answers with a question that’s not quite a question, pushing a hand through his hair with a ragged sigh. He taps the pockets of his coat, quick to fumble through getting a cigarette and jamming the filter between his teeth.

There’s a dead silence between them and the click of the lighter, and Conrad finally notices the flecks of red on the gauze covering Worth’s arms. He hadn’t been picking at his skin, but if blood was— jesus christ. Leave it to him, really. Walking around with someone else’s blood on him, despite an apparent attempt to have washed it off if his hands are any sure sign of concern. It’d be poetic if it weren’t so fucking morbid.

Instead, Conrad opts to put a hand out. “Pass me one.”

Worth gives him a side eye of insane proportions. “Since when d’ya smoke, princess?”

Conrad rolls his eyes at the nickname, instead leaning over and taking a cigarette from the coat pocket himself. It’s a risky move, it’s a little too weirdo-intimate, but judging by the lack of protest, it’s probably fine. He mentions something about a metric fuckton of weed in college- art school bullshit and all that jazz. It’s enough of an answer to get Worth to give him a light at least, the two sitting on the table and taking silent drags.

It was stressful, the bad shape Hanna had been in, and Conrad doesn’t exactly get Worth’s opinion on Hanna, but he knows he has to care somehow. In his own insult you on the operating table sort of way, but it’s still giving a shit. Seeing him visibly shaken feels cruel, almost. Any other day he’d be reveling in the way Worth’s been knocked off his hostile high-horse, but now it’d seem evil. A trespass of some kind.

He doesn’t know when he started leaning against him, maybe an instinct to hunt for some extra bodily warmth in the chill of the clinic. It’s a bitter late November, and being undead doesn’t do Conrad any favors in the cold.

He figures it can’t hurt to ask another question, that maybe Worth actually brought it up because he wants to talk about what the hell happened in New York. That maybe he’s moved on from being a petulant child and learned to use his words.

“Why’d you tell me this?”

The question is quiet and gets a huff in response, a slow drag hazing the air around them. Worth puts a free hand on Conrad’s shoulder, slowly slinking down his back to give a firm clap against his shoulder blade.

“Cause,” He says slowly, staring at the front door of the clinic. “Nobody’s ever gonna believe ya if yeh squeal.”

Of fucking course. Conrad can’t quite make out the tone, if he’s been bluffing the whole time or just pointing out that nobody in their right mind would ever believe he’d ever admit to that, especially to him.

“Fucker.” Conrad says under a smoke-laiden exhale, opting for the response that gives Worth some plausible deniability to keep up the unshakeable asshole facade.

“Bitch.” Worth mutters back, hand still idly moving against his back, personal space entirely forgotten in that moment.

It’s going to be a long night.

#hinabn #conworth #conrad achenleck #doc worth #to all of my followers wondering where the hell this spark of insp came from #mind ya business

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tomakeitbeautifultolive · 5 years

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Hey I was just wondering on your interpretation of Jonerys in the books? Because according to the bad leaks we will get Jon killing Dany, but in the book version its pretty clear that these two will marry and I don't necessarily see how those two things jive with each other, unless we get a literal repeat of the Azor Ahai/Nissa Nissa bs with them🤷🏼‍♀️ Thoughts? Because I have given up hope for the show and need some reassurance on the books after reading all of them plus the history books,,

Look, anon. Even in the fucking show these two have been paralleled to death - in a way that inextricably links their lives together, as seen here and here and here. When you learn that when Ian McElhinney (Barristan Selmy) confronted D&D about how he thought it was too early to kill off his character, it made them want to kill him more, out of spite… it makes it pretty clear what D&D are doing.

In their effort to adhere to shock and subversion… they’ve left mounds of unused foreshadowing all over the place (I’m still working on a master post of unused foreshadowing and plot elements). As you might’ve guessed, Jonerys foreshadowing is among those casualties - such as Dany mentioning she may have to enter in a political marriage at the end of season 6 before setting sail for Westeros, or the four different instances that challenge Dany’s belief that she can’t have children, that her family hasn’t seen its end, and that Longclaw will go to Jon’s children after him. As of right now, none of the leaks indicate that any of this meant anything other than dialogue filler. If it was never intended to amount to anything, then the writers should not have included these lines at all, especially in a show that was cut down from ten episodes to seven. Way, way too much emphasis was put on challenging the notion Daenerys can’t have children. It’s what a good writer might call ‘trimming the fat’ from the story, otherwise, it does nothing but muddy up the story unnecessarily.

Jonerys aside, D&D have killed so much foreshadowing in the series just to make a shocking ending (which by the way, makes no sense at all). I was flabbergasted when I read this quote from 2013:

When I asked Benioff and Weiss if it was possible to infer any overall intentionality to the upcoming 10 episodes, they sneered. “Themes are for eighth-grade book reports,” Benioff told me.

Uh, what?

As you may have seen, I already recently covered why Jon shouldn’t care so much about the incest aspect - in the comments I received, there was a great point about how Jon has borderline romantic feelings toward his cousin Arya (who he believes is his half-sister), tending to think of her when he wonders what his love interest’s (Ygritte) body looks like under all those clothes. In the original outline for the series, Jon and Arya were supposed to end up together or at least be involved in a love triangle with Tyrion.

As you see, in the books, Daenerys has already been groomed for the reality of being wedded to her brother, so her nephew won’t be some grand depature from this. She’s a dragonrider, and if the shows are to be believed, Jon will be, too - and if the majority of fans are to be believed, then there might be something magical about Targaryen blood that makes them different or unique or magical, hence the incest.

When you look at just how finely crafted this book series by GRRM is… it makes it really hard to believe that he’d throw out all of his foreshadowing for shock value.

“It’s easy to do things that are shocking or unexpected, but they have to grow out of characters. They have to grow out of situations. Otherwise, it’s just being shocking for being shocking.”—George R. R. Martin

I think we can all agree that season eight of Game of Thrones is all about futility, shock, nihilism. So, check out this quote:

Q: Early on, one critic described the TV series as bleak and embodying a nihilistic worldview, another bemoaned its “lack of moral signposts.” Have you ever worried that there’s some validity to that criticism?

A: No. That particular criticism is completely invalid. Actually, I think it’s moronic. My worldview is anything but nihilistic.—George R. R. Martin

It was George who said we’d get a bittersweet ending, not D&D. It was George who said he wanted a LotR-style ending, not D&D.

While there are many conflicting quotes out there about GRRM’s ending vs. D&D’s… This recent article published right after episode 3 had some interesting lines:

“Of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. It can also be… traumatic. Because sometimes their creative vision and your creative vision don’t match, and you get the famous creative differences thing — that leads to a lot of conflict.”—George R. R. Martin

My interpretation currently is that yes, Jonerys is real in the books…

(just as it was in the fucking show until they decided to abandon all preestablished groundwork and foundation) …and has been thoroughly foreshadowed - and not in a tragic way.

First of all, the series is called ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ - while this stands for many things from literal to metaphorical, I’d say it absolutely encompasses Jon and Dany. I have some very unpopular ideas that ice actually represents Daenerys and fire, Jon. Whether or not I’m right about that, we have some hints that Jon will ultimately accept his Targaryen identity…

Subtle clue about who he is, in one of his true house’s colors:

“The next time I see you, you’ll be all in black.”Jon forced himself to smile back. “It was always my color.”

He idolizes historical Targaryens:

“Daeren Targaryen was only fourteen when he conquered Dorne,” Jon said. The Young Dragon was one of his heroes.

He’d pretend to be Targaryens while playing as a child:

“I’m Prince Aemon the Dragonknight,” Jon would call out.

For Daenerys, we get this curious line:

“Mother of dragons, bride of fire…”

Bride could also be metaphorical in some way, sure, but let’s just say it’s literal. Jon is the dragon, the fire.

Okay, so for the books, I’ll try to hit the bullet points:

First and foremost, the pair are incredibly similar, both stepping into positions of rule after immersing themselves into a foreign culture, adapting to their way of life before making allies. Both Jon and Daenerys make grave mistakes while wielding power, and they learn from their mistakes. They’re being shaped into rulers.

Both fall in love, yet still feel alone:

“Her captain slept beside her, yet she was alone.” / "Even with Ygritte sleeping beside him, he felt alone.“

Daenerys dreams of her lover:

“It was never Jorah Mormont she dreamed of; her lover was always younger and more comely, though his face remained a shifting shadow.”

Jon is described as a shadow:

“A shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain.” / “He would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows”

Daenerys also dreams of life as a wife and mother:

“In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door.”

Both dream of children they will never have:

“I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms.” / "I will never have a little girl.“

From Jon’s first chapter, there are hints that Benjen knows his identity and that family might someday be important to Jon:

"You don’t know what you’re asking, Jon. The Night’s Watch is a sworn brotherhood. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. Our wife is duty. Our mistress is honor. You are a boy of fourteen, not a man, not yet. Until you have known a woman, you cannot understand what you would be giving up.”

“I don’t care about that!” Jon said hotly.

“You might, if you knew what it meant,” Benjen said. “If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son.”

We have those quotes from Maester Aemon, that hint that Jon might choose love or a child over duty:

“What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms … or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

While yes, Aemon hints that it is both glory and tragedy, we’re coming off a long, long line of tragic Targaryen love stories - the difference here being that one of these Targaryens is out to break the wheel that destroyed so many of these star-crossed, doomed Targaryens loves (Rhaegar/Lyanna, Duncan/Jenny, Daemon/Daenerys, Aemon/Naerys, etc).

Blue roses are linked to Lyanna Stark or even House Stark in general. In a vision, Daenerys sees:

“A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness.”

Meanwhile, there is foreshadowing that Dany will help Jon’s effort against the white walkers with lines like these:

“He might as well wish for another thousand men, and maybe a dragon or three.”

Daenerys, herself, has a weird moment with some ants while she wakes in the Dothraki Sea, brushing them off of her body as they swarm over a wall:

“To them these tumbledown stones must loom as huge as the Wall of Westeros. The biggest wall in all the world, her brother Viserys used to say, as proud as if he’d built it himself.”

Around the same time, Jon is killed, whispering to his wolf:

“Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. He gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…

Meanwhile, after ‘opening her third eye’ with some berries, Daenerys hears the call of a wolf all the way over in Essos:

“Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely.”

We can extrapolate that this is, in fact, Ghost… as first, there don’t seem to be wolves in the Dothraki Sea, but also this line from Bran also provides context:

“Here in the chill damp darkness of the tomb his third eye had finally opened. He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon.”

Now that we know Jon’s true name (at least according to the show), this curious line from Daenerys also hints she might marry Jon:

“A crown should not sit easy on the head. One of her royal forebears had said that, once. Some Aegon, but which one? Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.”

Meanwhile, Jon is infatuated with Val, a woman who sounds an awful lot like a precursor to Daenerys, who is a warrior woman with silver-pale hair… Jon is also reminded of Val’s hips and breasts and that she’s 'well made for whelping children’…

“The light of the half-moon turned Vals honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. The air tastes sweet.”

“Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her.”

“A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”

As for GRRM, he told a helpful clue to director Alan Taylor circa season one of Game of Thrones:

“Anyways, he alluded to the fact that Jon and Dany were the point, kind of. That, at the time, there was a huge, vast array of characters, and Jon was a lowly, you know, bastard son. So it wasn’t clear to us at the time, but he did sort of say things that made it clear that the meeting and the convergence of Jon and Dany were sort of the point of the series. So, I was happy that a big step forward was taken in the episode I got to do this season is where he has fallen for her both, you know, emotionally and politically I think.”

But that’s not all. I did write a meta about the mother goddess Danu and her parallels with Dany - and this, to me, rings much more true to who Daenerys is in the books rather than whatever impostor is parading around in Dany’s skin on screen in season eight.

There is a lot of proof that GRRM puts a LOT of thought and detail into his books - even down to the Starks ‘howling’ and ‘growling’ and the Lannisters ‘roaring’. I’ve uncovered a cool trend where many of the names he assigns to characters reflect their numerological gemstone house colors - and the names he chooses all shed some light on the characters they are given to, such as Bran meaning ‘raven’ or Sandor meaning ‘defender of man’ or Gendry meaning ‘son-in-law’.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about these things, and I just cannot see GRRM throwing out all of his foreshadowing or all of the clever little things he’s been hinting at since book once, all for the sake of shock value or subverting expectations… That’s not his style and he speaks out against it.

Bearing that in mind, the clear mad queen is Cersei, who shares virtually every parallel to Aerys Targaryen - the way she tortures parent and child chained just out of reach from one another, the way torture sexually excites her, the way she was tortured into madness, and straight down to her wildfire use. Daenerys better fits the archetype of an anti-hero rather than a straight villain. With only two books left and still no signs of madness… I just don’t see it going down this way in the books.

As for whatever just happened with Daenerys, I’ve been given a compelling argument that in the books, as she squares off with (f)Aegon Targaryen, or, Young Griff, in an effort to expose the Mummer’s Dragon, she might accidentally set off these wildfire traps that make her look just like her father, and perhaps she even goes a little mad with grief.

Especially considering that ASOIAF is so heavily based on Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn, which share countless parallels, such as:

Norn (White foxes) → The Others (White walkers)

Sithi (Dawn children) → Singers (Children of the forest)

Witchwood → Weirwood

The Storm King → Night’s King

Ineluki → Azor Ahai

Sorrow → Lightbringer

Black iron → Dragonglass

Nisse → Nissa Nissa

Hayholt Castle → Winterfell Castle

Green Angel Tower → Winterfell Crypts

Simon Snowlock (secret heritage) → Jon Snow

Princess Miriamele (disguised as a boy) → Arya Stark

Warring brothers King Elias/Josua → Stannis/Renly

Tailed star → Red comet

Black priest Pryrates → Red priest Melisandre

Daenerys is suspected to be the Princess Maegwin figure, a woman who “is forced to watch as forces conquer her people and is eventually driven to madness in her desperation to save them.”

You make a good point about Fire & Blood and ASOIAF prehistory, too. Aside from the doomed Targaryen love stories I mentioned earlier, we get another history book that basically gives us a rundown of various Targaryen ladies who never got to be queen. I’d say this book has a strong feminist message - and might even hint that the last vestige of House Targaryen just might accomplish what her foremothers could not - finally becoming the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with a clip from the man, himself, about Dany:

youtube

“From my mother’s stories, I always had this kind of sense that I was like disinherited royalty. Here was this dock that my great-grandfather built - it wasn’t ours anymore. Here was this house that my mother had been born in - we didn’t own this house anymore. We didn’t own any house, we had an apartment. So it was like, ugh, I came from greatness - like Dany! And I will take back what is mine with Fire and Blood! I think on some level, that must’ve gotten to me.”—George R. R. Martin

I could be wrong about all of this, of course… but that’s my current take. 🤷

#answered #got leaks #got spoilers #jonerys #anti got #anti d&d #yeah my friend is still over but caught a quick nap lol #I will get to messages and such later ♥

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agentbarton12 · 5 years

Text

Old People Teenager Watchers

A/N: gonna be completely honest and tell you that i forgot i hadnt finished posting this. like, its been done and ive writen it but i completely fogot i had to post it. anyway, here you go!

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

—

the invitation — 6

Teenagers, in Tony's opinion, are the strangest breed of people. He’s pretty sure when he hired one, he was not hiring their mood swings, rebellious tendencies and relationship problems as well, but, it seems “you can’t get one without the other” or something dumb like that.

Tony liked to believe that over the last three odd years, he had gotten better at handling teenagers, but apparently not.

Truly, he was too old for this. He needed to fill in his formal Teenage Babysitter Resignation forms and hand them in to the board of Old People Teenager Watchers (“Parents, Tones. They’re called parents.”).

When Steve told Tony what that idiot Peter was thinking of doing, Tony's knee-jerk reaction was to say no. But then he thought about it and sighed.

A heavy sigh.

Not because he was worried, or because he thought it was a bad idea, no, Tony was apprehensive because it would work. Like, it really would. And Tony knew that the only way it would, was if he helped.

And then he sighed again.

Despite this, Tony agreed to help because he thought he should. He thought Peter was on to something and he really needed a reason not to be mad at him anymore. Nearly everyone had gotten over Peter’s idiocy, if only because MJ did, and had moved past it. Tony tried to, but he couldn’t because Peter kept looking at MJ like the sun and the moon shone out of her eyes.

It was disgusting.

And endearing.

But mainly the first one.

The only problem with this staring was that Peter seemed unaware he was doing it. He had convinced himself that he liked Gwen and not MJ and now, refused to admit that he was being dumb.

Okay, okay, he used to refuse to admit that he was being dumb.

Because this was the whole reason of the plan. After an eye-opening conversation with literally ever woman in Peter’s life (Pepper, May, Nat, Wanda, Laura, Shuri, Hope, Jane, Darcy, Carol, Valkyrie, Okoye, Christine, hell, even those Guardians touched down on Earth for a while to give him advice), he spoke with Gwen who, surprisingly wasn’t upset at all. No, no, she was not. In fact, she came up with most of the logistics of the plan. Tony actually took a liking to her eventually. After he got past the fact that Peter claimed to like her, she turned out to be a really nice girl, and if MJ didn’t exist, he wouldn’t mind Peter dating her.

But, MJ did exist and now Tony had been tasked with the impossible feat of getting MJ to the tower. It was impossible because no one — not even Pepper on a bad day — could get her to do something she didn’t want to do. And since it was seven o’clock on a Thursday night, Tony knew she wouldn’t want to leave her bed.

Emmjaaay

Emmmjaaayyy, hurry up and get to the tower!

It’s an emergency!

Ned’s in trouble!! Come nowww!!!ii

Emmjaay

[video attached] he looks fine to me

TonyMan

Uhh...

Emmjaaay

also you text like a child

also also im curious as to why youd lie to get me out of bed on a thursday, so ill be there

tell the babysitter to pick me up

TonyMan

Auto-correct, MJ.

Please.

The video was a screen recording of a Snapchat Story Ned posted. It showed him, Sam and Thor sitting on pool chairs with sunglasses on, and the caption was literally, Living the trouble-free life.

Tony really needed to make sure he and Ned were on the same page before he did something.

He was surprised when MJ agreed to come over, but decided not to think too much about it and sent Happy to pick her up. He complied, grumpily, but complied nonetheless.

He told everyone of the success of his mission, but instead of being greeted with thankful hearts, everyone started running around trying to get everything in order, which just confused Tony because as far as he was concerned, the plan was just get MJ to the Tower so Peter could do whatever it was he was going to do. There was literally no reason for everyone to act like they were planning a wedding.

When MJ arrived, Peter took her up to the roof and everybody, like, everybody ran up to the common room and asked FRIDAY for the security footage on the roof with sound.

The Avengers and Avengers Children sat around and on the couch for a clear view of the holographic screen that was being projected up. They could see them standing on the roof. MJ, once again, was not wearing her own clothes and had put on a sweater she stole from Bruce and basketball shorts that could’ve either been Sam’s, Peter’s or Thor's. Her back was to Peter and Tony could feel how much he wanted to reach out and hug her.

“So, did you bring me out here to murder me or for the view?” MJ asked not turning back to look at Peter.

“Uh, yeah, it’s a killer view,” he responded, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

She turned to him slightly. “That was so achingly lame, my dad turned over groaning in his grave.”

He chuckled nervously. “Peter Parker: Dad Joke Extraordinaire,” he tipped an imaginary hat.

She held his gaze for a few seconds, before looking away. “Idiot.” Peter just smiled at her back and looked at for far longer than what was deemed ’friendly’.

“Oh, god,” Sam groaned.

“This is gonna take way longer if he keeps doing that,” Bucky muttered, rubbing his beard in frustration.

They stopped their mutterings when Peter spoke. “I am. An idiot. I am an idiot.” MJ gave him the slightest of gazes, before training her eyes on the skyline in front of her. “A huge one,” he went on, “for not telling you I love you too.”

The eyes of the Avengers widened and Thor choked on his Pop Tart. Tony remembered that they never really got an explanation for MJ's behavior all those weeks ago and this is the first time they’re hearing this.

“I'm sorry, but when did MJ tell him that she loves him? How did I miss this? Why did no one tell me this?” Wanda was rambling at this point and no one shushed her because she was voicing their thoughts. As if she had a revelation, she gasped and said, “Was it that night MJ — ?”

“ — Shh!” Natasha said, as MJ started speaking.

“Yeah, you did. Remember, when you then proceeded to ask Gwen out?” Peter gulped at the memory.

“Excuse me, what?” Steve asked the screen. The common room erupted in noise as everyone started yelling about how they needed to know things like these. Tony looked over at Gwen who was sitting on the floor and saw Ned put a reassuring arm on her shoulders.

Peter took a breath. “That’s what makes me an idiot. I should’ve told you before. Like, two-years-ago before. Because I’ve loved you for, like, ever, but me, being the idiot I am, didn’t realise it.

“I knew I liked you, but when Gwen came and I liked her, I thought that meant I liked her more, I guess. But, that night outside my room, I fell in love with you all over again, because you continued to put what you thought was what I wanted as your top priority. Even if it was hurting you.” Peter took a breath. The whole common room was on the edge of their seats and Tony was pretty sure that Bucky had gotten FRIDAY to Skype it to Wakanda where Shuri and her brother were no doubt watching.

“The past few weeks have sucked so much because I realised just how much I adored you. Like, sometimes it gets physically painful to breathe whenever I think about you and Tony has told me so many times how disgusting it is when I look at you like you’re the only person in the world. And I’m trying, MJ, but, honestly, I still haven’t figured out how sit across from you and not be madly in love you with everything you do.

“This is more an apology than anything else, because I hurt you and I was an idiot and you deserve better than that.”

“…I taught him that,” Sam said after a moment or two of utter silence in the common room.

“Shut. Up,” Clint said hitting him in the head.

“If that is true, Son of Wil, you did a mighty excellent job at teaching the Man of Spiders how to woo the ladies,” Thor said.

MJ looked at him for the first since his speech. “Now what?” Peter looked stunned. “I’m not about to jump into your arms because you said all that, because that’s some dumb, cliché romcom BS and I ain’t about that.”

“Yes, girl!” Shuri yelled from the other end of the call.

“And you hurt me. Like, a lot. Like, I was pretty sure that at some point, Scott was gonna kill you. But, I’m not going to stand here and say that I don’t love you either, because I’m not a liar. I do love you. But, I hate you too. So, this…thing, it’s moving at my pace, how I say it will, got that?”

Peter nodded mutely, a large grin slowly gracing his features. “You see all that cute poetry junk you just spewed a moment ago? Yeah, you should stop that. I might actually end up liking you.”

Peter grinned evilly. “Oh? So I probably shouldn’t tell you that you’re the last thing I think of before I close my eyes?”

“Smooth,” Clint said, nodding slightly. Thor silently gave Sam a fist bump.

MJ's eyes crinkled and her mouth twitched ever so slightly, an almost smile. “No,” she said, “you shouldn’t 'cause that’s just creepy.”

“I love you,” Peter said breathlessly.

“It’s like you want me to break up with you.”

Peter shrugged. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. “I love you,” he said again with her face inches away from his.

“Stop.”

He shook his head. “Nope. You know why? Because I do. I love you.” He looked her in the eye before turning away and yelling into the night, “I love Michelle Jones!”

She punched him in the arm. “Don’t make me regret hugging you.”

“But you’re not — ”

He was silenced by her crashing into him and he stood stunned for less than a second, before he wrapped his arms around her and he settled his head in the crook of her neck due to the height difference.

“YES!” the common room erupted into cheers as everyone, everyone stood up in excitement. Scott called Hope and told her everything. Clint, followed his lead and phoned Laura to update her on the newest development. Hugs were given and tears were shed.

They all decided to stick around just in case something…interesting happened and so they remained in the common room.

Tony thought he’d hang onto his position in the Old People Teenager Watchers Committee just a little longer.

“How long do you think they’re gonna stay in the common room watching us before they realise that we’re trolling them and aren’t planning on leaving until they do?” MJ asked Peter as they remained hugging on the roof.

“Dunno. They like snooping. Probably waiting for us to kiss or something.”

MJ stayed silent. Then, “We should have sex. Give them something to watch, y'know?”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Wh-What?”

Tony jumped up and told FRIDAY to connect him to the roof speakers. “You two get off that roof right now, or so help me I will ban you from looking at each other. Get down. Now.”

The last thing he heard from the two was MJ's cackling as they got off the roof. And the cackling of his fellow teammates.

Never mind, Tony was resigning.

#avengers #marvel #peter parker #spiderman #michelle jones #ned leeds #spideychelle #iron man #tony stark #mcu #iron dad #spideyson #domestic!avengers

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minjinlix-blog · 6 years

Text

prom? (woojin x reader)

➥ words: 1.8k ➥ genre: fluff, high school!au ➥ pairing: kim woojin x reader ➥ summary: kim woojin is student council president, lead singer in the school choir, and captain of the varsity swim team. he’s good at everything...except asking you to prom. ➥ warnings: none ➥ a/n: inspired by this post!

“And to wrap up our weekly morning announcements, here’s your student council president, Kim Woojin!” your high school principal’s voice visibly brightened when she said the name of arguably her favorite student in the school ever. Even your homeroom teacher’s lips lifted at the mention of the most liked boy in school.

“Hi everyone, it’s Woojin here!” his melodic voice rang clear over the intercom. “There’s not too much to announce this week, just that the varsity volleyball team won their last game on Friday, so that means they’re going to go to district semi-finals. Whoo, go women’s volleyball!” You could picture Woojin’s toothy grin clear as day in your mind.

“And also, don’t forget that prom is this weekend! If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, don’t fear! Student council members will be at tables outside the lunchroom later today to sell tickets. I’ll be there too, so don’t be shy and come and say hi!” You could hear Woojin’s giggle at his rhyme, and there were titters among the people in your class as well.

“Hey, are you going to prom?” As morning announcements ended, a pen nudged you and you looked over at your friend Minho.

You shrugged. “I wasn’t really planning on going. I don’t even have a date. Are you going?”

Minho grinned. “Yeah, Jisung and I got our tickets last week. You should totally come though! It won’t be fun without you,” he pouted.

You crinkled your nose. “Maybe. I don’t really want to go alone though.”

A devilish smirk appeared on Minho’s face. “You could go with Woojin.”

“No!” You protested, heat rising up your cheeks. “I can’t!”

“Why not?” Minho whined. “You’re the only person Woojin gets nervous around. That literally means he likes you.”

“He doesn’t get nervous around me and he doesn’t like me,” you said, defensively crossing your arms. “He’s student council president, lead singer in choir, and captain of the varsity swim team! Why on earth would he like me? I have about as much school spirit as that trash can over there.” You pointed at the plain black bin in the corner.

“Well, you guys are next door neighbors,” Minho pointed out. “And your parents are really good friends. You two have been practically raised to be together.

“Plus,” Minho continued with a smirk. “I didn’t hear you say that you didn’t like him, so now I know the feelings are at least halfway there. It takes two to tango after all,” he winked at you. You felt the heat in your cheeks get even hotter.

You threw your pen at him. “Stop it! Why am I even friends with you?”

“Hey Y/N, do you have your prom tickets yet?” a voice rang out as you walked out of the lunchroom.

You stopped short at the table next to you, looking at Woojin. “Uh, no I don’t,” you confessed.

“Why not?” Seungmin, the student council vice president sitting next to Woojin, asked in surprise. “Surely you have a date, right?”

“Uh...” You scratched your neck in awkwardness. “No, I don’t.”

“Really. Well, do you want to know who else doesn’t have a date? W-ow!” Seungmin cried out in pain as a suspicious thud sound resounded from under the table.

Woojin gave you a bright smile, and you felt your heart flutter. “I hope you find a date soon, Y/N. Have a nice day!”

As you walk away, you heard Seungmin hiss: “The chance was right there and you missed it!”

And maybe your ears deceived you, but you swore you heard Woojin sigh and respond, “I know.”

You thought back to Minho’s words - “You’re the only person Woojin gets nervous around.”

Was it really possible that Woojin liked you?

You were taking out the trash when you ran into Woojin on your driveway.

“Hey, Y/N!” Woojin greeted you, giving you the same easy smile you saw every day on his face.

“Hey, Woojin. Did you just come from swim practice?” You nodded at his wet hair.

“No, I just decided to run around in some sprinklers,” he joked. Your laughs seemed so natural that you started to doubt yourself - there was no way Woojin got nervous around you. He totally didn’t liked you.

“Oh! Before I forget,” Woojin started rummaging through his backpack. “I’m on the prom planning committee and we wanted some student feedback so we can make sure prom is as nice as it can be! Can you fill out this survey for me?”

“Sure,” you reached out to take the paper and pen from his hands. His fingers lightly brushed against yours as he passes the pen to you, the tops of your fingers tingling as the pads of his fingers caressed across your skin.

You looked at the first item on the sheet.

Favorite flower?

Pink roses, you wrote.

How would you want to be asked to prom?

At this question, your eyebrows furrowed. “What does this question have to do with prom planning?”

“Which quest-oh,” Woojin said as he looked over at your sheet. You swear there’s a pink tinge to his cheeks. “Uh...Seungmin said that it was a good question to ask. To figure out how much promposals would factor into our publicity.”

“Promposals?” you repeated. “What’s that?”

“You know,” Woojin said lamely. “Like wedding proposals. But for prom. Like how Felix put a million sticky notes on Changbin’s car and each one had ‘prom?’ written on it.”

“Oh,” you said. “That sounds really cute! I’d want someone to do something creative for that, I think.”

“Really?” Woojin asked. “Interesting,” he mumbled under his breath, so quietly you weren’t sure if he even said it.

Woojin straightened. “Well, thanks for your help, Y/N! I’ll see you tomorrow at school!” With that, he rushed over next door to his house and he was out of sight.

You looked down at the survey and pen still in your hands. Did he want them back?

The next day in your homeroom class, a pink rose was on your desk.

a beautiful rose for a beautiful person~, the note attached to the stem read.

“Ooh,” Minho teased from the desk next to yours. “Secret admirer?”

You picked up the rose. The thorns had been thoughtfully sheared off as well. “Who would send me this?”

Minho shrugged. “Who knows? Just appreciate it now while it lasts though - the last time Jisung gave me anything remotely romantic was two weeks ago, and it was a stale gummy worm he found on the ground.”

The pink roses kept coming. There was one in your locker when you stopped by to get your physics textbook, another in your physics class, a fourth at the spot you usually sat at in the lunchroom. As you walked into your math class, you weren’t surprised when you saw yet another pink rose at your assigned desk. This one, though, had a longer note attached to it.

curious about the face behind these roses? meet me at the pool after school.

“Hey Y/N - ooh, is that a flower?” Seungmin strolled into your math class, his eyes widening at the rose.

“Yeah,” you said. “It’s my fifth one today.”

“Ooh, this is a promposal,” Seungmin started to grin excitedly. “I can feel it in my bones.”

“You think so?” You said doubtfully. “Prom is, like, four days away. It’s a little late.”

“Maybe the person asking you has been too much of a wimp to ask you before,” Seungmin muttered under his breath. “Woojin’s such an idiot.”

“What did you say?” You asked him, looking at the younger boy.

“Nothing!” Seungmin said quickly, then hastily changed the subject. “Hey, didn’t you need my help for that last homework problem?”

“Oh yeah!” You scrambled to find your notebook in your backpack. “It’s so unfair how good you are at math. You’re the youngest one in the class too!”

“I skipped two levels of math in middle school,” Seungmin shrugged casually. “I’m trying to take university courses by next year. Anyway, this problem is easy. You just take x and...”

You zoned out immediately (math was not your forte), eyes drifting over to the rose and attached note again. Small butterflies fluttered in your stomach. What would you find at the pool after school?

It smelled like chlorine as you walked down the hallway that led to the school pool. As you pushed open the doors, the scent got even stronger. You slowly walked into the large hall, looking around.

It was empty. No one was in the pool, on the deck, or even in the bleachers. How odd. Didn’t the swimmers practice after school?

As you crept closer to the pool, you noticed a single, yellow rubber duck floating close to the edge, bobbing up and down with the movement of the blue water.

You knelt down at the side of the pool and picked the duckie up, examining it. It wasn’t until you turned it over that you saw something written on its underside:

turn around.

A small cough came from behind you. You stood up, twirling around, and smiled at the sight in front of you.

Woojin was standing there, poster in hand. Your heart was racing.

“Hi Y/N,” he said shyly, face red. “I know it’s kind of late, but prom is in four days, and I really want to go with you. So...” He held out the poster.

Written in large block letters were the words: I’D BE ONE LUCKY DUCK TO GO TO PROM WITH YOU.

“...what do you say?” Woojin smiled a little, eyebrows raised a little in nervousness. “Will you go to prom with me?”

You laughed. “Of course, Woojin!” You felt the butterflies in your stomach explode, and they pushed you forward into Woojin’s arms. Your own arms wound around his neck as you buried your face in his chest and hugged him. He was warm and soft, his arms wrapping around your back.

You pulled away a little. “I knew it was going to be you,” you giggled.

“Really? How?”

“You were so obvious,” you explained. “I could smell the BS on that survey you gave me yesterday from ten miles away. You didn’t even take the sheet back from me!” you accused, laughing.

“I didn’t? I-oh,” Woojin started laughing too. “I guess I was so nervous that I didn’t really know what to do. Seungmin kept making fun of me too,” he pouted. “That kid is honestly too much.”

“I like him,” you declared. “He has a bright future ahead of him.”

“You might like him, but you like me more, right?” Woojin smiled at you, and you felt your heart melt.

Rolling your eyes, you asked, “Is that even a question?”

Woojin laughed and hugged you again.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshot #kim woojin #woojin #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kim woojin scenarios #stray kids fluff #m

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bluepenguinstories · 5 years

Text

Happiness Overload Chapter Twenty-Eight

There was a moment of silence. Even a fart would have been drowned out in the silence. Maybe the smell would linger, but other smells would drown it out as well until all was neutral once again.

I wasn't planning on letting one rip. I looked toward her. I couldn't tell if she was planning to either. After all, I wasn't a mind reader.

Well, maybe I could have been. But digging into others' thoughts wasn't something that brought me joy.

She looked my way as well. Her face was void of joy or sorrow. On the contrary, it was a face of both joy and sorrow. Complete release.

After such sterile silence, so painful, I lifted myself to my feet. My original plan was to leave. Leave here there and go about my way. Where? Why, any which way. Wherever made me happy.

“Sit,” she commanded. I obeyed.

“Care to share a drink with me?”

“I'm sorry. I'm not a vampire,” I teased, though my tone may have come off as more scathing.

“Very funny. I ought to kill you,” her response was just as playful in turn. Childlike, not the collected demeanor I had come to expect. There was a certain glow to her, though not an illuminating one. Radiating, maybe, but one akin to magma or the aftermath of a nuclear reactor collapsing.

“No,” she continued, more zest in her voice, yet also a sense of exhaustion. “I was actually thinking of champagne.”

She procured a bottle and two glasses, a sign that the two of us now shared something. Such a fact didn't bring me joy, but I could tell she enjoyed it, so I gave up thoughts on throwing it out.

“We're popping the biggest corks when The Flashbulb is defeated!” I cracked a joke, which she just responded by tilting her head

“I...I was trying to make a funny...”

“Let's start this day over from the beginning,” she began.

“You're going to be my therapist for real this time?”

She shook her head, her smile more warm. “I don't think I would be the right person for that job. I was thinking instead of us talking as if we were two world-weary travelers meeting at the twilight of our journey.”

“That sounds like some romantic BS,” I yawned. “But fine. I've got time. I'll indulge you.”

She closed her eyes and smiled, then took a sip from her glass. I didn't recall the champagne bottle being poured into our glasses, but I suppose the 'no recollection' thing was just par for the course.

“So what did it feel like, when you, you know...” I had trouble asking something so simple. Perhaps it had something to do with it being a process involving my own body which I did not plan for, yet if I were to be curious about anything, that would be the first thing to come to mind.

“Have you ever felt so happy you could die?” She asked in response.

Ah, I see. The old 'answering a question with another question' tactic. I took a sip from the glass, then spit out what I had drank. How did anyone enjoy such things? After wiping my mouth, I found just what to say.

“Can't say I have.”

“Then I can't really tell you what it felt like, now can I?” She laughed and hiccuped. Her glass wasn't even empty yet. Did it not take much for her to be intoxicated? I just tilted the glass to and fro, unsure if I wanted to drink the rest.

“Truth is, I'm not even sure how to be happy.”

She leaned back, startled by my response.

“Oh, so you can lie to your guardian angel, can you?”

I didn't know how she knew that or if she even knew that she knew that.

“I doubt she'd be very happy to find out you've been lying to her,” she continued, wagging her finger in disapproval.

“Well, I mean, I just don't really know what it means.”

“Look, you've got the smiling part down.”

“Yeah, but you can go around smiling and think about killing yourself all the while,” I pointed out.

“Is that what you do?”

I shook my head. “I told you! I've already died a few times. Totally overrated.”

“So you're telling me when you do all these things and say you're able to do them because it makes you happy, you're not really happy?”

I shook my head again. “Not at all. I am, I'm just not sure how I am, or what it means to be happy.”

“Do you know how to be sad? How to be mad? Do you know what any of those things mean?”

“Well, no? Yes? I don't know?”

I felt a little dizzy. I was pretty sure I wasn't the one doing most of the drinking.

She belted a hearty laugh.

“You're a funny kid, you know that?”

“Hey, I'm twenty-four!”

I shook my head.

“Actually, I guess I'm only four years old. But since I have all the memories and appearance of someone twenty-four years old, I like to think I ought to be twenty-four.”

“What? Really?”

She stared as if I said something strange. Nothing was strange at all. I was born one day in the exact image, mind, and memories as someone else who happened to share the same name. The other me was 20 and this me has lived for about four years, so I couldn't tell what was so confusing.

“Well, what about you?”

She nudged me. “Please, you're not supposed to ask a lady her age. But if you ought to know, I am most certainly an adult!”

I puffed my cheeks. Such a cop out. In retaliation, I held out the glass and she took the cue to fill it further. I downed the drink, doing my best not to spit it out. If it made her happy, I would be happy as well. Maybe that was why I smiled throughout guzzling it down. She shook her head. Mine was dizzy.

“You're not supposed to chug it, you know. You're supposed to take slow sips.” Her voice could be heard. I ignored it in favor of my own.

“Do you believe in angels?” Was the question I posed. She turned her head and looked up. There were dolphins swimming through the walls, though that was neither here nor there.

“When I was little I believed there were fairies in the fields near where I lived. Even when I grew up just a little and met my girlfriend, we would sit atop her van and ingest mushrooms. It was during those times that we thought we could see those fairies and even thought if we stayed real still, they would grant our wishes.”

She paused.

“That's right...”

“Are you okay?” my head spun, but my words still found their center.

“Before I met Juniper I had a girlfriend who I just left. I went forward too many years. I can't go back. I've abandoned so much in this new life and I miss it. I can't see her how she is now. I don't know how she is now. She may be dead, she may be much older, she may have met someone else a long time ago. If I were to go back, I would be an adult and she would be a teenager. We couldn't continue as we had. I am someone different.”

She clutched her head, pulled out the bangs of her hair, and leaned against her raised knee.

“Even as I have become, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”

My gut told me to say “whatever you want to do”, but when I looked at her, she looked more and more like a child. Even though I knew she was older (and I had assumed wiser) than me, I also sensed both this naivety and fragility. Blonde, silver...someone so brave, so cruel, so scared, so considerate.

“Why don't you tell me about that life?” Was my compromise.

Must have been the alcohol. So giddy, so plush. Lush. Charms I gave myself. Such power I had obtained and here I was using it to talk with the source. Who I would consider responsible.

I just had to laugh.

“No wonder you were so happy. To think I have just a little bit of what you have,” I mused. Yes, I was dodging the issue.

Blanc grinned as well, a grin or a grimace. It still had the visage of happiness, in either case.

“You feel it and at first you're in disbelief, but it feels so good. You want more. You get more. Then, you feel like there's still something missing in spite of it all. But when you try to seek out more in hopes that it can fill whatever's missing, it's gone.”

“Is that what you're going through?”

Blanc bared teeth, the grin brighter.

“Nope! Because I have it again!” But then shifted just a little. “Though it is dangerous...entropic.”

Just a little...more...

“So, are you going to tell me or what?”

I blinked. Snapped back to reality. What was that song Trent would go on about? Something about spaghetti...

“Very well,” I declared while waving my glass about now. Empty or full, the liquid would still find its way.

“You're starting to slur...” Blanc groaned in a rather sing-song way.

“I lived with my mother and father. Only child, lucky me. Father was always away in the garage, had the door locked. Hard at work on some invention or other. Dr. Stromboli, he was called. We never knew his actual last name. Although both my mother and I's last names were Modelo, his could have been anything. That was the life he lived. My life was spent trying to get in. Chip away at that life to be a part of it. He loved us, he did. I think he did. I loved him.”

“So you didn't know much of him?”

I shook my head. Such a silly notion.

“I knew much. We shared a home together. We were family. I didn't know much of what he did, but I understood his dedication. When he would come out and greet everyone with a smile, I knew he still cared. At times, losing track of time. We shared dinner together. There were times he would let me in after I banged on the door, and I would watch him work on things. I would help out by bringing parts over or certain books. It wasn't a constant, but it was a nice opportunity. Whenever he came out whether it be to eat or just to greet us, his face showed exhaustion, yet he continued to hold a smile.”

“Would you call him neglectful?”

“Not at all! Other fathers had their TV's, he had his inventions.”

Blanc stared at their glass. Or mine, that I gave to Blanc. Or was it Blanc's, as if not for Blanc, I wouldn't have been able to conjure a glass? Yet, it was mine, for it was me who took the initiative.

“My mother was a quiet, demure woman. Loving, rare to raise her voice. Educate, rather than scold. Kindness to a fault, I would say.”

“So you guys were a family, but separate from each other?” Blanc seemed to be trying to fit together a puzzle whose pieces weren't necessarily meant to fit together.

“We were together. Quite a while. The two were the irritating quiet, a separation I couldn't endure. I was the firebrand. He would always say I had a fiery personality and mom hated how I was quick to yell. She tried to teach me better, I think, but I wouldn't listen.”

“Sounds typical, then.”

I smiled, serene. “Yes, I suppose it was.”

Still silence. This new self was starting to revert to an old, younger self.

“...And I hated it. I saw war and injustice. He toiled away and she stayed silent. In my eyes, she believed that it didn't concern her so no need to worry, and he must have thought there were more important things to do. He was toiling away doing lord knows what, meanwhile there's a war going on that we had no business being in. We were just adding to the massacre.”

“Talking about Iraq? Afghanistan?”

“Vietnam.”

Blanc spit out their drink. How rude.

“How old are you again?” They asked, before stopping themselves. “Right. Time travel.”

Again with the rudeness.

“You just had to bring that up, didn't you?” I scowled.

The memories were returning. Unsure if it was something painful or an addition to the happiness – memories of a life I once lived.

“I remember seeing an article on Stonewall and yelling 'I should have been there!' Maybe I was romanticizing something awful, but I didn't see it that way. He told me, 'there are far more important things' and that sent me flying! I shot back: 'then why aren't you doing them? These are MY people! They fought for something important!' You understand, don't you?”

“I don't know...I don't really think about those kind of things. But I guess it's good if it inspires you,” they shrugged. I must have had a moment of passion, something I would have usually kept in check.

“Instead, do you know what he does? He builds a time machine, uses it, and disappears. I go after him, leaving behind my mom and my girlfriend. Leaving behind my passion. Where I arrived, he was nowhere to be found. Just another device, a cryptic message, distorted image of him. Wherever he was, whatever happened to him, I don't know and I may never.”

Great. I could feel the sting. Tear ducts opening to signal departure. How unbecoming.

“You know, if it makes you happy, you could...”

“Would finding out make me happy? If I find out he's alive, and stuck somewhere I could never reach, then what? Or he's dead and The Flashbulb killed him? I've thought of that, too. Any of those answers would only bring me pain.”

“But if pain leads to happiness...”

“No!” I fired back. “Not my pain. Never my own.”

So that was Etna...or...

“Is there a name you would like, by the way?”

“Vesuvius. I thought of Molly at the start of our conversation, but a little on the nose, if you catch my drift.”

I didn't. Wasn't sure if she did either. I didn't know what a drunk person looked like, but I was pretty sure she was drunk. Then again, I was pretty sure she was already drunk before the alcohol.

“That name makes me happy!” I smiled and nodded.

“Does everything make you happy?”

“I think I get mad sometimes!” Even saying such made me giddy. “I just don't get sad anymore!”

“I see...” She noted, then downed another glass. “I have a question for you, seeing as you asked me about my past.”

“Shoot!” I replied, then remembered the gun she held. Ouch.

“When you broke free, I recall seeing a blade shoot out of your arm. That wasn't something my wife created when she made your prosthetic, was it?” I inquired, my head bobbing as the question arose.

Blanc's eyes widened; a cat's expression for when they want to play. If Blanc had a tail it would have been swishing from side to side.

“Nope!” In exclamation.

“How did you get it, then?”

Blanc placed their finger on their chin. “Maybe I'll tell you sometime!”

“Let me guess: you used those powers of yours?”

“Sorta! In a roundabout indirect way, I think that happened!”

That's when I was certain the truth would come out.

Looking back on the day, a fondness sprouted, a spoonful of honey with a dash of sunshine.

I sat alone at a bench, an overcast day at the park. Children and their parents ran about, I couldn't ignore the commotion. Smile spread, until I looked down and noticed my arm. Although a wonderful parting gift, I still had trouble with it. As this stood, I only had one functional arm. I could move it about but it felt more like the jingling of keys. I couldn't flex the metal parts that would have made up a hand.

Dashing toward me, clacking of heels against pavement.

“Hey! Cool arm you got there!” Prospective mechanic with a suit fashioned more for a businessman greeted me.

“Thanks,” was my reply, and I couldn't help but scratch the back of my head. “This really cool and smart person named Juniper made it for me as a gift!”

“What if I told you I could make it better, though?”

“Oh?” Maybe that would have made me a little happier. Being able to use it.

“Yes! You've inspired me! Come with me to my lab, it's just a few blocks from here!”

I crossed my legs before leaping up from the bench.

“Sure! Not like I was doing anything anyway!”

We walked together, kindred spirits in curiosity. Or me, just hoping to pass the time away until the next event took place. Once inside said building, a cold box of sorts that appeared much smaller on the outside. Crisp air, conditioned and sanitized. Still, so full of life. I couldn't wait to see what this benefactor could do.

Although I would have to part with an arm for a short time, I felt no loss.

“Can I get a hand blaster kind of like Mega Man?” I leaned forward, breaking the engineer's concentration.

“No, but I was thinking of making your arm more sturdy, give it an extra layer of protection. Send signals through to your brain through microscopic wires to allow full range of movement. On top of that, I'll even add a layer of skin on top, so in essence, you'll have a fully functioning arm!”

The lame-ass smarty-pants must have thought so high and mighty after explaining away all that. But that was all boring basic stuff.

“So are rockets out of the question?”

Short pause, a stare.

“What's your deal with wanting weapons so bad?”

I shrugged.

“I just think they're neat!”

Bright and hopeful provider of improvements gave a look of disapproval.

“I'd also like a sword,” I added.

There was a sigh, though it could have been steam from nearby machinery.

“How about this: I can add a button that you can press where a blade can spring forward from the side of your arm. Deal?”

“Hell yes, let's do it!”

“...Are you by any chance the violent type?”

I shook my head.

“Nah, but you never know when it might come in handy!”

“On that note, you can just press the button again and the blade will retract. The artificial skin will even repair itself.”

“You really are all that, aren't you?”

Oh my, I awoke the beast. My improver stood tall, a flashy grin and sparks emanating.

“I really am!”

It took a few months before it was all ready, in the meanwhile I was given a place to stay and even got free food. I would say it was a good deal, all things considered.

“I see,” I noted after having taken another sip. “So in other words, you took what she made for you and trashed it in favor of something better.”

“Well, gee, when you put it that way, do you think she'd be mad at me?”

I shook my head and took another sip.

“No, she's not the type of person. She just likes to help people out, regardless of her skill level. I imagine if she were to find out, she'd just say something like 'I'm glad you were able to make improvements to it and you're doing better now'. Honestly, it's one of the things I don't like so much about her. For as tough as I know she can be, she's uninterested in hurting a soul, even if it's to defend herself.”

I smiled, thinking it would sting to hear such words. Then, I added, “in my opinion, you took advantage of her kindness and as soon as you found something better, you didn't give it a second thought.”

When I looked over, Blanc was still smiling. I think I even heard a little laugh.

“I'm glad to hear she's so forgiving, then!”

I reeled back.

“To think there are people like that! It makes me happy!” Then Blanc swayed their head. “Though I'm really not deserving of it.”

I would have had to agree on that one. “Doesn't matter. She's just like that. If anyone's undeserving of her kindness, it ought to be me. I just appeared one day.” It dawned on me that both Blanc and I just appeared one day. I laughed as well, though stifled.

“I don't think of you as a monster, you know...” Blanc muttered. Wasn't fooling me, though. I heard well enough.

“Who ever said...?” I didn't know where I was going. Room was a blur. I was still on the floor.

“You know, I could never hate you,” Blanc continued, meanwhile tilting the glass as if showing disrespect to the drink. “Regardless of what you do or have done. I told you before, I consider you, Juniper, and Trent to be like a family I never had.”

I sobered up. Or, I would have liked if it was so simple. Still, hearing that was sobering enough.

“Thank you for that.”

I watched as we both drank once more. I was gentle, Blanc chugged it all down, only to spit it out.

That's not how you drink that, you buffoon.

“I on the other hand, know that I may no longer be myself. I don't care, though. I wanted to make sure my friends were happy. The thing is, I may never even see them. I won't know for sure. I'm not as generous as Euphoria; I want to see those I care about happy. I don't care about everyone and everything.”

“That's fair, too, I think. Having this, I feel so great, and I would love to share it, but there's also a strong desire to take as much of it as possible and keep it for myself.”

“The thing is, I did all this, and maybe the only reason I did it was to feel some sort of gratification. Some purpose for doing something. In truth, I really do think well of them, but I'm not even sure if I've even crossed their minds.”

“Do you really believe you aren't loved?”

Blanc looked taken aback. “Why'd you say that?”

“Is it true?”

“I don't know. I don't know if I am or not. How am I supposed to tell?”

I shook my head, as if a mother scolding their child. “You have an angel within you willing to give you their power, you have people who have taken you in with no caveat, yet you still question it? It's like you're happier, but your mind is the same.”

“Yeah, but she...they love everyone!” Blanc protested.

I just shook my head again. “Stubborn as a mule, I tell you what.”

Blanc looked about to say something else, but I interrupted.

“What would your friends think if they heard you?”

I remembered Conrad telling Kelly Roger and Velvet how everything he did was for my sake. Or, for another version of me's sake. I was never there, nor was the version of me that Conrad surely meant. Such forbidden memories I should have been used to by now. Snooping around wasn't great, but the Beige practically encouraged it.

I was sitting at the couch one day at Trent's apartment, flipping through channels on the television, with my good arm, of course. Not that the other was bad, but was just unusable.

Trent walked through the hallway in a robe and saw me.

“See anything good?”

I shook my head. “Everything sucks.” Then I came across something. “Never mind, actually. Everything is awesome.”

Trent leaned his head over. “Ah, the Lego Movie.”

I was in a trance. How something so brilliant could flash before my eyes.

“You know, I probably have to go soon. I could get a call to the hospital at any time. You know how those guys are.”

“Yeah, price gouging everyone. Letting people die.”

Trent winced. “Bad mood?”

Actually, yeah. I think I was. “Metal arm hurts, nothing good on TV. Haven't had coffee. Don't even know if I could hold a mug. Also coffee is gross without a shitload of cream. Can't think of anything fun outside, need an ID to get a job. No money for food. Still can't remember anything about myself, either. So yeah, a little grumpy.”

“Have you thought of using a fake ID?”

“What?”

Trent shrugged. “I mean, I'm not suggesting anything, but I don't see the crime in using a fake ID to get a job. I'm pretty sure my sister's done it before, so it's probably fine.”

“You're telling me...”

“I'm not telling you anything, just an idea.”

“Well, I'll think about it.”

He went over to the kitchen and got himself a bagel. At this point, I wasn't even paying attention to the brick people.

“Do you remember anything at all?” He asked, mouth full of bagel.

“Not really, and it still sucks. I mean, I'm happy living here, I really am, but I still think there could have been this long and epic backstory that's hidden from me and I may never get to see it.”

“I feel ya there. I once looked into the history at the hospital I work at. Did you know that the building used to be used for satanic rituals? Blew my mind.”

“Well, on that note, I think I remember something. I think I remember this computer who kept insulting me.”

“Hmm...sounds like Portal.”

“Yeah, was probably nothing.”

I shrugged, he shrugged. We both went back to our respective tasks. His pager rung, he waved goodbye and ran out the door. I just got to the part where Will Ferrell showed up.

My arms were crossed, I was still steaming in my own grump.

“You know,” I told myself. “Maybe some fresh air will do me good.”

Even though I said that, I knew when I exited that door, I wouldn't be returning. It wasn't so much of a plan as something that fell in my lap. For months and months I had been avoiding the outdoors, living in the care of these people I got to know. But they found me at a park and I thought that maybe if I were to return to said park, I might find a clue or something.

...Looking back, that sounds totally dumb, but as we all know, I am a big dumb-dumb.

“Such a simple day and none of us realized we wouldn't see you again,” I noted. “You know, we missed you. Trent said he saw you before he left. None of us knew what to do. We thought of a missing persons report, but us being careless in our own right, couldn't think of how to word it and didn't really trust the cops. So we just let things go and returned to our lives.”

“That's what I hoped would happen.”

“Why?”

“Just seemed ideal I always felt like this world I dropped off on was the ideal world. Like everything that I could have asked for, even before I regained my memories. Maybe Euphoria really had been with me since the beginning.”

“Euphoria?”

“It's what I call the angel. In reality, I don't think they have a name. But any name is her, their, name.”

“It's a little hard to believe. An angel. But, I know it's true as what else but an angel would grant me such abilities?”

“Maybe some cosmic entity. Don't even know if angel is the right word, but angel makes Euphoria happy. As does anything.”

“Angel, demon. Something we don't understand. Something that doesn't make sense. Something that just works. Kind of beautiful, if you ask me.”

I swayed to and fro. Life sure was beautiful. “So, tell me about these friends of yours?”

“Well, there's Velvet, she's like this super cool secret agent and also this huge dork. I guess I don't know a lot about her but I know she likes to have fun. Then there's Conrad, who's like this super secretive conspiracy nut who hung out at the basement of a college. I want to say Conrad was my best friend, but I hardly knew him. Another version of me knew him very well. I actually knew Velvet more, but I didn't know her for a super long time. Then again, I wasn't alive for a super long time, as it was...” I knew I was starting to ramble. Maybe it was the drink actually taking effect. Or maybe it was just that rambling made me happy.

Vesuvius, as she wanted to be called, was leaning over now, looking at the floor. Her glass, nowhere to be found. She heaved multiple times until vomiting out reddish-black substances. I could smell the stench of blood.

“Hey...are you okay?”

She looked over at me, smiling. “Yes, I guess I'm still not used to it. Such an incompatible thing is a part of me now.”

“Is there anything I can do?” I wasn't sure what was going on. Last thing I know, we were just going back and forth with our small talk. Now she looked like death. Her face had gone red, veins spreading across.

“Just lift me up, please.”

I leaned down and she took my arm. I let her rest her head against the back of my shoulder. Her head bobbed to and fro and I didn't think much of it, but then she sank her teeth into my shoulder and bit out of a chunk of my flesh. I pushed her off. She still stood, staggered.

“I needed more...”

“No way! Nu-uh! You've had plenty.” My flesh repaired itself and the pain washed away.

She gave that sly smile. “You have to be more gentle with me,” she crooned, before spitting out more blood.

I sighed. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Just walk with me out of the room.”

“Fine, but no biting, okay?”

“Not even a little nibble?”

I felt like retching, myself.

“No!”

She fell onto my back and we trudged out of the room. “You know,” I told her. “Once we're out, we'll be going our separate ways. There won't be any more blood you're getting. Are you sure you'll be alright?”

“This new form of mine will take some getting used to, but I'll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“I'm capable. I know how to find my way back to my own time.”

The doors opened and I let go of her. She looked like she was about to fall over, but stood up, her movements stilted. I wasn't sure where she was headed, but what I set out to do was done.

In truth, I didn't need any more blood. What I had been granted gave me enough knowledge to know that it was already a part of me and no amount of purging would change that. I needed an excuse for Blanc to hate me. I needed to act dependent to make sure I would never have to depend on them again. Was I disgusted with myself? Maybe a little, but there were more pressing matters.

I was weakened. More than I should have been. I knew where I was going. I had to go to the source.

Several halls down, along a winding stairwell, lie a room with a large computer in the middle. I walked up to the computer, stared at the foreign buttons and the console, and spoke to it.

“Hello, me,” I pushed my glasses up, hoping it would help me look more composed.

I didn't expect a reply.

“How funny it is that the two of us should meet,” she announced herself. Her presence was somewhere nearby, I could tell. Her icy voice pierced and sent shivers. “What business could you have here? Are you here to shut me down, make sure I leave no impact?”

“No. You know I could do no such thing.”

“What, then?”

“I want you to tell me something.”

She appeared, just as she disappeared. Just a glimpse. She was around me. She was me, somewhere.

“I want you to tell me what happened to my father,” I echoed. Realizing how cliché those words were, how I must have seen similar sentiments in cheesy movies watched at the apartment. Still, she must have known and if she knew, then I had to know.

“You already know.”

“Why would I ask you if I already know?”

“Good question. I too wonder the same thing. Maybe you have been repressing such a memory.”

I grit my teeth, my hands balled into a fist. I shouted the order:

“Just tell me!”

She was somewhere near, in front of me. Far, or close. I should have been in front of the console to the computer, but instead I was on the far edge of the room, and she was in the middle, where I had been. She inspected her nails, a look of disinterest as she didn't dare dignify me with a glance.

“You killed him,” was her response. Passive, such cold apathy.

I already knew her previous forms. I knew my previous forms. I knew so many things I shouldn't have known, so I knew as well that her words were a farce.

“That's just one of those false memories you created for yourself!” I shot back.

“Ah, and what might my inspiration have been? I do not deny being capable of such things, but would you believe I just conjured such imagery from nothing?”

“Why would I...” I didn't want to entertain her further, but I knew she knew the answers, even if she was keeping them from me.

“You were tired of the abuse you and your mother faced. Either neglect one day, or beatings the next. One day you grabbed the pistol he kept stashed and when he wasn't paying attention, you shot him. Shocked by what you had done, you ran off with his time travel device and took on a new identity.”

“That...That makes no sense! He loved us! He disappeared! What about the video that played on the device? I wasn't the only one who saw it! The brother and sister I met saw it too! Juniper and Trent! They both saw it! I know they did! I know he's out there, or was, or he was in danger, but I don't know where, but I know I wasn't the cause!”

She laughed, devoid of any humor or enthusiasm.

“Is that the story you tell yourself? The memory you constructed?”

“I would never!”

Laughter continued.

“When you came here with Blanc, affected by the angel's power, your one source of happiness to end all the panic around you, was to hold a pistol and shoot Blanc. Do you think that was such a coincidence?”

“I...I...”

“You and I both know how capable you are of committing such acts. While it is true that in previous iterations of me, I was born from both yours and Juniper's mind, my cruel side was inherited from you.”

“I'm not!” I fell to my knees. I never knew what I was getting myself into, did I? I never know. That must be the problem. I always want to be in control, but how often does that come true? “I never wanted to leave! I loved my family! I loved my girlfriend! I left so much behind! I had to!”

“Why did you feel you had to?”

“Because...I...didn't know how to go back...”

“Didn't know how to return to that time, or didn't know how to face the consequences of your actions?”

What actions? What actions did I ever commit? Attempt to search for...

“Solace? Your thoughts are my own.”

“No! Search for what I had lost! He disappeared, he...” I was drawing short on breath. Desperation. What else could I even say at this point? She knew whatever response I would make.

“You ask for the truth and refuse to believe it when I tell you.”

“Why should I trust you? You lie, you manipulate, you create false memories!”

“I do not deny any of those. But why should you trust yourself when you do the same?”

I shook my head. I have created names for myself, took on different forms when I needed to. I just couldn't accept that. How many years had I yearned for the truth? That couldn't have been it. I had been searching and I couldn't have been searching for that. No.

“You cannot accept your memories. You pick and choose what you remember and what you forget. Paint a beautiful picture, all for yourself.”

She just kept talking. I couldn't stand it. Why did I come here? Why did I think this would be constructive? My stomach was getting sick again. I was sick of everything around me. She was everything around me. Standing. Judging me. For what? I came here. I came here for answers. Or to destroy her. To show her that I held the power.

“Accept us. Embrace us. Accept yourself.” She, they, all chanted, circling around me. Closing in.

I clutched my head, ready to pull out my hair. I had no weapon to defend myself. To destroy her. She needed to be ended. I had nothing. I just wanted to see them again. To be the child I once was. Attend school, grow up, become respected in whatever field I chose. Or an activist, among a crowd, champion a cause. Instead, all of this had to happen and I don't even know anymore what it was that happened.

“This is who you are,” Each of them took turns whispering in my ear.

“I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK!” I shouted, screamed, sobbed. My lungs ached, but in time they would heal. I knew because I knew what I was.

“Then take it,” that disinterested doctor stood again, so close, so far. Her glasses and demeaning pursed lips. “You and I both know you're not helpless, girl.”

“I...I don't know how,” I muttered, still sobbing. My arms were on the floor, my back hunched.

“You did it so well when you took from Blanc without consent.”

“I...” I shook my head.

“You came here because you were starting to feel weak and you couldn't take any more from Blanc. You thought you could feed off of me for power. Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“You wish to suck me, even though you and I are already one?”

“Not like that...”

“Did you really believe that by draining from me, you would draw more power? If anything it would be like inflicting wounds upon yourself expecting to gain strength. 'What doesn't kill me...'? Girl, please.”

“I am not you!” I picked myself up.

“I agree. You lack the scope. I can save the world. You are only interested in your own gain.”

“That's not true either!”

“And how do you suppose that? We both have the capacity to bring happiness to the world, yet you would rather focus on your own.”

“That's normal!”

She nodded.

“Maybe so. But whereas I so love the world, you lack any sense of love.”

“My family!”

“Abandoned.”

“My wife...Juniper...”

“She was the first person you latched onto. It could have been anyone.”

Lies. Such a waste of a computer. It could have been anyone. I made my choice and I knew what to do next. End her.

I picked myself up, a new resolve. My body shook. Around me were the various faces of ecstasy, each taking their turn biting into my flesh, laughing and moaning all the while. I pressed on, each pace, further resolve.

In my hands lay a wooden stake which I used to plunge into the heart of the mainframe. In response, liquid red wires sprung out, covering my face, staining my cheeks, smearing my glasses. That furthered my rage and I lifted the stake and slammed it down once more. Again. Again. There was a body forming, the heart of the matter. Some stranger. I knelt down and drank her blood. Tasted nothing like her, nothing angelic. Nothing like myself. I wiped my mouth and removed my glasses. I took a cloth out from my pocket and wiped away the material.

I knew where my home was.

There was no need to worry about Vesuvius. She was capable. She had some of Euphoria in her. There was no doubt in my mind that she could make it back to her own time. Or any time she wanted, for that matter. So, I left the room and whistled, not a worry or care in the world. Happiness was all around me.

“Hey!” Someone called out. I should have just been able to hold a time cube and leave without a hitch.

Maybe she weakened me a little...

I turned around to face two men and without even focusing on their features, my eyes went straight to their badges: Dr. Ridley and Dr. Kraid. Obvious Flashbulb members.

“Uhh...hey!” I waved. “How can I help you, I'm doctor...”

“Save it!” The one with the Dr. Kraid nametag demanded. “We know you're not one of us. For that matter, we know we should erase you from existence here and now if we knew what was good for us.”

Just like I did with one of you guys earlier...

“Are you saying you don't know what's good for you guys?”

Dr. Ridley stamped his foot. “Dammit! Fell right into that one!”

Dr. Kraid looked unamused.

“Do you have any idea what you did? What you unleashed? With Etna able to shift between a holographic form and a physical, she can exist without the need for a computer at any time.”

“And?”

“For that matter, now human Etna is walking around with the same power! We were supposed to keep Etna in check, but do you know what human Etna just did?”

“I believe her name is Vesuvius,” I corrected.

Again, unamused.

“She just went into an empty room and killed an intern! Do you know how hard interns are to come by? Most of us want to get rewarded for our efforts!”

“So...?”

“So now she's loose and could spell ruin for us!”

I shrugged. “Not my problem.”

“But --”

“Not. My. Problem.”

I then walked away and went back to whistling. If they wanted to do something to me, they should have done so then and there.

“Wait!” I recognized the voice as Ridley.

I turned my head.

“How would you like to join us? We could use someone like you!”

I tried to hold back a laugh, but the smile slipped through.

“You know, I was thinking it might head in this direction. Tell you what: when this is all over, maybe I'll think about it.”

In truth I had no intention of saying yes, but I knew it would be happy to hear such an answer. After all, “I'll think about it” sounds like “probably” and “probably sounds like “potential yes”.

I kept walking, meanwhile digging through my pants pocket. Inside was the time cube. I fiddled around with some buttons, unsure what I was clicking, but also sure I knew where I would be headed. Because where I wanted to go was somewhere that would make me happiest.

Whether or not that was the case, well, I'd just have to see.

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mishqua · 3 years

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Hi! Thank you for another fantastic chapter that I will re-read all week until the next update!

1)I just wanted to ask what your fave books or movies were that inspire or influence your writing in any way.You have a distinct writing style that I feel like can’t be categorized easily. On the one hand there are some gothic horror elements in both “Pride of A Graveyard Flower” and “I waited for you in the shadows of time” but they still seem grounded in reality somehow or at least Harry’s characterization isn’t the typical melodramatic naive archetype to contrast Lv. The atmosphere is also suspenseful and scary at times but it also has humor that isn’t jarring. So that’s why I was curious as to what might have potentially influenced you.

2) also do you ship Harry with anyone except Tom or LV? I personally ship Harry with a dark Ginny or Cedric for some reason. The reason being Ginny’s stalkerish and dark tendencies have a lot of potential imo especially when you contrast it with our oblivious dunderhead Harry. Anyways I digress XD

Hello! Thanks for being so supportive all the way💐❤️

1. My favorite book is actually the alchemist by Paulo Coelho. But who does inspire my writing style is Tolkein. I know I know.. lofty ambition and all that. But his level of characterization, world building and fantasy writing is just.. *sigh. Rather than the books I should tell you my darling creators- Arthur Conan Doyle ( his works are lovely). The ones who made imagination go wilder ( in an innocent way)- Hans Christian Anderson and Hayao Miyazaki (the mind behind most ghibli movies), Jules Verne. Bernard Shaw and Jerome K. Jerome ( three man in a boat) are outstanding when it came to humor. Rather than the slapdash comedy or the in your face funny- I rather liked when its the wit talking for you. The 1986 show Yes, Prime Minister is a good example of that.

I also like the classics more than the modern authors- like Shakespeare or Tolstoy. And I love the epics- be it Illiad, arabian nights or Ramayana. And then they made me run after the mythologies from around the world-.

I have left the movies world for a while now-too busy to sit through three hours of mind-numbing bs. I would rather watch a hitchcock with oddities than ..whatever passes for movies recently.

Of course I am never too busy for manga and anime. And they picked up my transforming years after I had gorged through books. The action filled that gave me an everlasting feeling of optimism ( everyone has something good in them- there is no black and white: ), the psychological warfares - I needed weeks to recover after I would binge on them- mirai nikki, the works by junji ito, code geass, death note... So many god . Do not go looking for mirai nikki unless you have the stomach, really.

Trust me. No book, no movies-- nothing have made me go look for sunlight and blast my ears with good songs to suppress the darkness they brought me. Yet I remain a masochist for them.

Well.. there you have it. I ate a mouthful of whatever I can get my hand on and now.. you lot are suffering through what comes out of my mind.

2. I will admit I am rotten. Rotten to the core. I go kya! with bl stuff.. explicitly filter out all the other pairing. But then I would have liked Drarry too.. but that.. just eek. (Sorry if you are drarry fan)

I ship Hplv because of the dynamics they bring. The hordes of obstacles they have to go through if they want to be together. The clash and the fire.

I love Ginny more than Hermione. Really. She is badass. Fiery and everything. But well.. I always thought she was too good for the book canon Harry? She is the queen that doesn't need an emperor. And Harry is .. I dunno.. maybe the relationship wasn't balanced enough in the book. There is one fic which had Ginny as his .. left hand. That was awesome. Your idea does hold merit though.. I can see a dark cedric seducing an innocent Harry.. hmmm..

But you aren't asking that.. sorry. I ship Harry with people with age disparity mostly. Like Sirius, even Orion. People with age and experience who can match up against his mature-too-soon mind. When I don't find them in hp world, then I go crossing into other worlds!

.... I see there is no stopping my mouth. Sorry , I got too excited!! *Shuts up and runs away.

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stayalivekids · 4 years

Text

12:25 // 04-28-2020

Hi friend. I apologize for not writing that much anymore. I just feel like writing would not suffice anymore if I would do it all the time. This ECQ made me realize so many things that I did not know back then. I think I have lost not just my Lolo. Mama got home when she heard that the pandemic was just starting and they had to stop flights abroad for a long period of time for precautions. I am not saying that I'm ungrateful but papa and her just fight all the time, without even considering place and who's around them. I was so scared when I talked to papa when he said he might kill her if she continues being rude to him. My sister and I had been reconciling them lots of time but they just do it all over again. I am so fucking tired to the point that I ran out of words to make them feel that we are a family here and just out of nowhere told them that they can do the fuck they want. Also, my second busy just ended. I felt like all my tears and sleepless nights since May 2019 until today were worth it. I already mentioned to some of my friends that I will be staying until July only. I have learned shit tons and grown, but I feel like, it's not enough to fill the pain I have been through silently these past few months. I did not have time to move on from my past relationship, not even to reflect all the mistakes and bs I did. I just remembered crying in the middle of the dancefloor at 3am until the light went on at 5 am and that was it. I thought I had moved on. I never felt that pain again until these last few days. I talked to a close friend and told her that I miss my ex but idk if it's the feeling or the person per se. She said that I should leave a message and see if there will be a reply. If none, at least I tried. She mentioned that my ex also tweeted things relating to abusive relationships. Someone asked my ex on curious cat about how abusive our relationship was but he deleted it eventually. Honestly, I can't believe that he did not even say a word that I did not abuse him nor he was in an abusive relationship. Whoever the fuck that anon, I hope it will not come back to haunt you. I am not abusive. I have never abused anyone. I know this to myself but I just can't stop thinking about it. There are lots of bad adjectives that I am and not one of them is being abusive. Why do I feel like the way that people see me is the real me? Asdagsgahajkaksla idek anymore. The same close friend of mine apologized to me for not knowing ways on how to help me eversince. She said that some of my friends also felt bad for not helping me during undergrad days, esp when I was having those pretty obvious bad episodes. I always knew that no one can help me during those days and already accepted it. I told her that it was fine now. I am fine now. This made me realize that I was really a high maintenance person person. Maybe my ex was right, maybe I will never find anyone who will love me and stay by my side with this kind of attitude. Maybe my purpose in life is to just pass by to everyone's life then fuck it up and make things about me everytime lol. All of these thoughts occurred to me yesterday, while the sun was on its hottest. All at once, I decided to end it immediately. I went out to bike. I did not wear my helment nor gears. I changed my clothes to black shirt, tooo my jacket, rubber shoes and went outside. My guts told be that the person I was in 2017 was me again yesterday. I felt the sweat on my chest dripping, vision getting blurry, losing my grip on breaks and catching breath. Until I found the perfect elevated spot where I can ride so fast that when I hit that bump, I'll fly. I did fly a few feet and ended up getting bruised all over my left body. Now I can't even stand nor stretch my left leg. I felt pain but I screamed and cried. Then I seated for a bit watching my blood drip from my left leg then asked papa to pick me up. I filed a sick leave that afternoon and watched crash landing on you. I feel good now. Now I just want to sleep and watch the whole day to feel good and would not have to think.

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delicrieux · 7 years

Text

RIVALS [ peter quill x reader ] 0.1

a/n; i wrote a ficaroony because i love peter quill and he deserves more appreciation and also every problem in this story would be solved if the two would just express their feelings /sobbing

summary: Some things are just obvious from an early age: you and Peter were meant to get along no better than a cat and a dog. And not the modern spin on a cat’s and a dog’s relationship either (none of that Disney fun-loving BS). No, we’re talking about that good old fashioned thirst for blood, spite and rivalry.Only that your situation really was Disney like. Which is ironic, since you’ve been raised to spit in anyone’s face that even mentions the name ‘Starlord’.

words; 2,427

warnings: a bit of swearing

0.2 MASTERLIST KO-FI. WRITTING CHALLENGE!

i need your help!

The current state of the ship and its crew can be described in one word: bored.

Whiskey. In Terra it’s high noon but no one really counts space hours so why the hell not? Peter Quill sits idly drinking by his cluttered table, trying to drone out the occasional buzzing and clatter and the piercing sound of squeaky metal by clogging all of his senses with alcohol. There isn’t a particular reason to indulge in daytime drinking festivities, but there simply isn’t anything better to do so he had helped himself to a glass a little while ago. He has finished three in total. Now he sits silent, his mind sometimes drifting out of these cramped walls of his beloved spaceship, branching further and further into the unseen horizon and onto a lonely planet that is just waiting to be looted. His fingers tap of the table and he shakes his head again: that stupid fucking clanking!

Gamora’s lips tighten into a thin line as she continues to keep a close eye on the ship’s monitor, making sure it steers in the right direction. Which really is just a waste of time since it seems like the whole Galaxy has taken a day off: no sudden storms, no space police, not even an asteroid astray. The captain’s chair, though comfortable, grows stiff after a while of not moving. Her arms fold over her chest and she shifts from leg to leg. Her eyes drift back and forth from the processor to the map dully, as if trying to find any bit of excitement in the task. Or anything, really. She shuts her eyes painfully. The clanking is more annoying than usual, that’s for sure.

But where is it coming from? Too close, the only human-like figures think in union. Rocket had dismantled and re-made his makeshift bomb for possibly the tenth time (in counting!), and while yes, he has the silent pleasure in knowing he’s getting on the crews nerves, not even this activity can satisfy the impeccable feeling of absolutely NOTHING happening. He figured making an explosive out of a hairdryer will surely occupy his mind for at least until something interesting happens, but so far not even a message from anyone (the message really doesn’t have to involve cash or danger. A simple ‘hello’ from a long lost friend sounds more exciting than this). And so he sits and fidgets with spare parts, his mood never spiking from ‘mildly entertained’.

No one really knows what Groot is up to, but from the occasional exclamation of his name echoing from somewhere in the ship, the crew breaths out a sigh of relief: Groot is still here. Maybe it’s not even a sigh; they just take a collective breath since the air-conditioning is broken.

Suddenly, a big red dot appears on the map and approaches at an alarming rate. Gamora blinks, jumping from her seat and slamming her palms on either side of the map monitor, surprised that on such a lazy day there is something moving their way at an incredibly fast pace. Her eyes bore into the distance; in the blankness and the occasional shimmer of faraway stars she notes the object swirl and fall from her field of vision. She narrows her eyes – is it a ship?... Her further questions are cut short by the beeping. This calls for the whole crew’s attention.

0.82 Yellow Stripe is requesting to dock.

“Oh no,” Gamora barely surpasses a jerk as Peter’s voice ring just in her ear, “no no no.” in one swift move she is nudged out of the way, “Where is the deny-cancel-delete-forget it ever happened button?”

“Friend of yours?” Rocket inquires. Peter snorts.

“More like arch-nemesis.” He mumbles, about to press the big red button as in ‘No, go away’, but Gamora beats him to it and with all her force pushes the friendly green one that simply states ‘Invitation accepted!’.

“The hell did you do that for?!”

She stares at him, her palm refusing to leave the safety of the green glossy surface in case Peter decides to claw at her fingers, “Look, nothing has been happening. Zip. Nada. If your arch-nemesis, as you put it, decided to suddenly drop by something has to be going on. Something we’re not aware of.” Silence. “People like that don’t just pay a visit out of the blue.”

“Yeah, or maybe she just came to finally murder me.”

Gamora smiles, though it’s hardly affectionate. Her eyes sweep the weapons stocked in one of the closer lockers, Rocket holding his hairdryer-explosive and lastly Groot curiously sticking his head out through the door to see what the commotions is about. Finally, she returns to Peter, “I think we got you covered.” The chilling tone of her voice leaves no room to argue and the ship falls quiet. Peter finishes his glass. Gamora loosens her grip on the button as a heavy ‘dunk’ rattles the whole spaceship. Groot and Rocket tip-toe closer just in case of combat.

This continues for a while. The air tension filled, growing in anticipation and curiosity with every new sound the 0.82 makes as it docks. A cloud of cold smoke leaks from the doorway Groot entered minutes ago and the team shares a look – is this really happening? Rocket tightens his grip on the explosive, though seeing as Peter seems anything but alarmed, disturbed, or in any other way ready for danger with the capital D, he merely raises a brow and slumps his shoulders. The way this is panning out, it seems no fight is going to break out. Rocket’s previous excitement on testing out the bomb grows bitter and he curses under his breath. If anyone heard him, no one said a thing.

“Jesus Christ!” A female voice rings out from the other room, riddled with disgust and Peter can’t help the smirk that grows on his lips. He raises his glass to take a triumphant sip but remembers it’s empty. Awkwardly he sets it down on the console, ignoring the amused look Gamora sends him.

Footsteps. Heavy footsteps. Boots with a metal hilt, the only girl in the crew notes as her arms fold over her chest and she stares impatiently at the doorway, trying to paint the picture of this arch-nemesis. She is pretty sure Peter was joking when he said so, but still, knowing him and his pelvic magic she might just be another pissed off ex- girlfriend. These thoughts plague her and she is even more curious than before. Something falls in the other room and another yelp escapes the captain of the small yellow ship. Finally, the short statue of the mystery woman appears in the doorway—

Human, is all Gamora registers as she takes in the delicate glow of the shorter woman’s skin in the bleak lighting of Peter’s spaceship. A bead of sweat runs from her temple and gets lost somewhere near her jaw. And an angry human at that. Her face is scrunched; gloved fingers soon dig into her thick black rimmed googles and slide them off. Pair of (color) eyes meet hers for the briefest of moments she looks at Peter, “You are sick.”

“Healthy, actually.”

“You have serious issues, Peter. Did any of you see the engine room? Docks? No one? No one bothered to shine a LED light? Seems like a Picasso painting—“ Peter clears his throat loudly.

“(Title).” He addresses her. The woman, now dubbed as (Title), contemplates on whether to continue to describe her recent appalling findings or skip them entirely and never put on her goggles again. Her expression falls neutral and before Peter can say anything else, she leans onto the doorway and lowers her voice.

“Quill.”

His shoulders slump, “C’mon, it’s not that hard. Starlord.”

“No fucking way am I calling you that.”

|*|

When the initial disgust melted off you found yourself almost comfortable being in such a…unique spaceship. Unique is the only nice way you could put it without offending Peters feelings too much. Introductions flew by in a flash, one moment you were casually calling Peter everything your mind could come up with instead of Starlord, and the next you were pulled closer by the curious raccoon and his tree friend. The two of them flashed you a smile: Rocket and Groot! For a moment you were surprised that they have a higher mental capacity than a goldfish. You had yet to meet people/aliens/creatures that tolerate Peter and can form a coherent sentence. Lastly you shook hands with Gamora, another reality grasping companion that is female and hasn’t slept with Peter. That trivia earned a pleasant ‘Oh!’ from you. With that you moved on.

There is one particular room in ‘Starlords’ spaceship you always fancied, even after the two of you broke apart. It doesn’t have a name, nor do many go down here as you realized with a quick look through your googles. The walls are made of thick glass that opens the view of the whole universe, a lone boardwalk being the only surface that can hold your and his weight. Your feet teeter over the edge and you look down: the black abyss of space illuminates the edges of your shoes. The buzzing of the motors fills the silence. It’s always silent when you go down here. The occasional footsteps from up above draw you out your thoughts of the good old days when you hated Peter’s guts less and he tolerated you more. History is a tricky thing: whilst it is important, it’s unchangeable. Your parting of ways was inevitable, especially because of his eccentric taste and your strict morale code clashing fiercely on many occasions that almost led to either your or his death. Neither of you felt badly about it.

Except now, maybe. You aren’t sure yourself. You had taken off your gloves and left on a table near a whiskey bottle that much you recall. Your bare fingers grip the metal edge you sit on, shoulder slumped, deep in thought. Through the crown of your lashes you gaze at him – he is staring straight ahead, relaxed, slightly dazed perhaps, as the verbal fight the two of you engaged in long forgotten. A soft blue light illuminates his features and you trace them carefully, trying to remember each detail with striking precision and faintly searching for the boy you knew that long ago. Same home planet, taken by the Yondu Ravager Clan and raised by it too. In the back of your mind you make a side-by side of little Peter, dressed in his pirate gear and trying to operate a gun you had constructed under the strict eye of your kidnappers, and the young adult that sits within arms-length. You find no resemblance between the two. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say they are completely different people. Then again, the last time you saw him was roughly five years ago, maybe even more.

Disappointment. Is that what you are feeling? Emotions mix and blur, just like the vast outside creeping behind these large windows. You swing your feet, a childish habit, and Peter snorts with an amused shake of his head, “Strange for you to shut your mouth for once.” You don’t take offence to that. You don’t take offence to anything, but don’t reply either. You tilt your head downwards again and stare at your feet, an action he notes and raises a curious brow, “Yo, (Title), you okay?” He asks lighthearted, leaning in just enough to be close but still minding your personal space.

It feels different somehow. When you first landed this, all of this, was an unpleasant mystery and you were beyond irritated to have made such a long and tiring trip to see a person you didn’t even want to talk to. Now, here, in the secure company of just the two of you the mood shifted drastically: from annoyance it went to heavy mixed feelings you don’t want nor are ready to voice. So instead you shrug and crack a smile. “Not really. Seeing you again is never pleasant.” There’s a tad of truth to every joke, as there is to lie, and while yes, seeing Peter again has raised some long forgotten spikes of emphatic brother-sister feelings, your sudden change from playful to serious isn’t entirely to do with him. He waits for you to continue and you are almost surprised that he doesn’t crack a stupid one-liner as a failed jab at your brooding. “I bet you know that I didn’t come here because I miss you.”

Ouch, he wants to say, but doesn’t. He nods. You continue, still not lifting your head up, “Finding you was…tough. Save me the story of running away and what-not, I don’t care. I didn’t come here to relish in old memories.” Yet you explicitly asked him to talk here, in your favorite place, despite anywhere being okay. You ignore this fact and any that fallow along with it and swing your legs again as if that would help you focus. “You have a good team. Not good good, but, you know…Good.” Your throat runs dry and a spike of nervousness sparks in your chest, going all the way to your fingertips. You gaze into his eyes, feeling your heart jump when your gazes connect in the dim lighting, “I need your help.”

The weight of your words is heavy, and though your request is quiet and reserved he knows you’re desperate. You would go to someone else, to anyone else, instead of him if it was whimsical or within your power. A spurge of pride. He can’t help but smirk. You frown, “Yeah yeah, c’mon, laugh it out, you won’t let me hear the end of this yada yada, I know.” You wave him off.

“I’m going to hold this against you forever.”

“Whatever, I don’t care.” The blankness returns to your face and he knows you’re back to being serious, “Do you…Do you remember the Carnic incident?”

“You mean when you ‘accidentally’ blew up a model spaceship? Of course I remember. It’s on my highlight reel.” He ponders for a minute how this is relevant, “You we’re banned from—“

“-Entering Terra territory.” You finished for him, the same heaviness returning to your voice as it grew quiet again. A note of pain strikes your features and Peter leans out taken aback. Turning away from him you are quick to compose yourself.

“My mom died. I want to say goodbye.”

TBH

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2tsrwzsba-blog · 5 years

Text

Self-Employed, and looking for health insurance. Need some advice please.?

I am looking for health insurance for me and my son. You got blue shield, blue cross, kaiser. I don t know which one to pick, or if there is some others to choose from. I make like 30k a year, so I need something affordable. Thank you for your help.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US

SOURCES:

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