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#like i saw this tiktok early and thats the first thing i noticed
floralovebot · 9 months
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its probably cause i just haven't been online in a while but i haven't seen anyone notice that flora is Still being whitewashed
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it's definitely not the worst it's ever been and i am hoping that it'll look better in the actual show but like,, y'all... and i was literally just talking about how so many people (including rainbow) won't whitewash aisha but Will whitewash flora and no one notices?? and people think it's okay??
like i'm not trying to be the party pooper here but she is Not the right skin tone at all and some shading around the face doesn't make up for it. and if i see one more person say that they stopped whitewashing or that flora looks perfect i'm gonna scream
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hellsbellschime · 27 days
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I'm no an expert by any means so ive just tried some things my family and friends recommended me. I have pretty clear skin, mostly because I don't wear any skin makeup at all and tend to have break outs when I do. I have the same problem with most sunscreens and I'm still looking for one that works for me and doesn't make me all oily and gross and thats my biggest problem in general. My face also fluctuates between dry and greasy so most products will work on one day but not on the other which is irritating. I'm only in my mid 20's so I haven't tried any retinoids, and when I asked in forums and stuff I saw a lot of my people my age warning away from doing anything too intense to early because they messed up their moisture barrier. I think I'd go to a esthetician/derm before I try anything stronger than a mild exfoliant.
its also low key scary how many really young people are buying these real intense chemical exfoliants because they go viral on TikTok. I read recently that Sweden is banning the sale of certain skincare products to kids because of the risk.
LOL yes same, I have good skin but I also never wear makeup which I think really helps a lot. And, after wearing such a metric shitton of different products, I luckily never get reactions to basically anything, I think the last time something irritated my skin it was years ago, some StriVectin brand thing, and I was like what in the hell could they put in this that it would bother MY skin at this point?!
That super duper sucks about sunscreen though, I know some people are sensitive to the actual active ingredients in sunscreens which can be a nightmare. Sun Bum sunscreen is probably my fave in terms of how it blends out and feels on the skin, but I also like having a moisturized, slightly oily feeling on my skin too, plus it does have fragrance which I love but I know a lot of people are sensitive to. Neutrogena is also a standby for me, but if you're looking for a lighter formula then Korean/Japanese sunscreens are probably the way to go. I recall the Shiseido sunscreen feeling pretty light, but it's stupid expensive so if you want to try it I'd suggest trying to get a sample first. I've heard good things about the LaRoche-Posay Anthelios stuff but haven't tried it, and a lot of people recommend the Cosrx aloe sunscreen but I felt like it was so-so. The next time I try a new brand I'm probably going to go for something from Beauty of Joseon or Isntree, I've heard good things about both.
The exfoliant thing is fucking WILD to me too, like it's completely nonsensical and people legit only like harsh exfoliants because you see immediate results. BUT, you'd be WAY WAY WAY better off using a gentle exfoliant over time and you would literally get the same results, it's just not as noticeable because you're not burning your goddamn face off in a 10 minute time frame.
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browneyedhex · 2 years
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I posted 91 times in 2021
45 posts created (49%)
46 posts reblogged (51%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 1.0 posts.
I added 150 tags in 2021
#dallas winston - 23 posts
#ponyboy curtis - 20 posts
#the outsiders x reader - 19 posts
#sodapop curtis - 18 posts
#the outsiders - 16 posts
#steve randle - 14 posts
#dallas winston headcanons - 12 posts
#johnny cade - 11 posts
#dallas winston x reader - 10 posts
#ponyboy curtis x reader - 7 posts
Longest Tag: 32 characters
#tiktok inspired me with this one
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I have to flex the fact that I share the same birthday as Dallas Winston
Yes feel free to be jealous
WHERE MY SCORPIOS AT
38 notes • Posted 2021-11-27 20:31:59 GMT
#4
Judge: order in court!
Dallas: large fries, bacon cheeseburger and strawberry milkshake 😁
39 notes • Posted 2021-12-12 12:51:56 GMT
#3
Oh you like Dallas Winston? You must have daddy issues
Join the club sis. We need more 💙🖤💙🖤
41 notes • Posted 2021-11-24 23:28:16 GMT
#2
Friendly Gesture
"Why is it so slow today, Y/N?" Soda asks with a small whine in his tone. Today was indeed slow to the point where Steve had to go home because no one came by needing their cars worked on.
"I don't know...today's felt kind off though." You mumble, straightening yourself up from the counter and look over at the window to where the pumps were. No one has come in since almost an hour ago.
"Man, I'm so hungry...I wonder what Darrys making for supper." Soda says, spinning around his chair while using a pencil to tap at nothing and then the counter once he made a complete spin. "Hey...do you wanna come over tonight?" Soda suddenly asks.
You look over at him, "I don't know..I was kind of looking forward to just having popcorn and candy for dinner again." You said sarcastically to which it makes him grin, "I don't think thats very healthy."
"I'll come over." You say, noticing the clock on the wall. "You wanna just leave?" You ask Soda. It was mostly you and Soda that handled the store and with the time of the year, the owner couldn't be too mad about closing two hours early.
Surely everyone had to be at home, getting cozy with some blankets, movies and hot cocoa. Or home late because of the snow. Either way, you just wanted to spend some quality time with your favorite family.
Especially a specific member of the family.
"I'm out. " Soda says, wasting no time jumping off the seat and towards the front door, leaving you to close things up while he made funny faces at you from behind the door.
You roll your eyes, "Jerk....I hope you freeze out there waiting!" You yell, hoping he could hear you. You went to the back, locking the back door and going through the numerous switches to turn off lights. You finished taking care of pump controls before shrugging as you looked at the floor.
You were gonna be the first one here tomorrow anyways. You look outside to see the snow coming down. Luckily you and Soda were smart enough to bring more than thin flannels.
"You wanna race to my house?" Soda asks with a grin as he bounces around. "Hell no, if I go running I'll slip on my ass."
"I'll be there to catch you." He smiles. "Last time you said that, it was the ground that caught me."
You both got to talking, bouncing around the conversation to random topics before you saw the familiar porch light on and the house looking welcoming like it always did. You could see some snowmen that Twobit and Johnny did, a misfigured one that Dally put up quickly, talking about how "its not tuff."
You both got to the front steps, stomping to get the snow off before Soda opens the door allowing you in first. "Ladies first." He bows. "Oh my, what a gentlemen!" You put on a southern accent and walked past him.
"Hey, Dar. I brought Y/N over for the night. Hope that's okay!" He meant it more of a statement than a question. You were gonna be here either way.
You heard the sound of plates crashing and silverware dropping. You look over to see Ponyboy struggling to not drop them onto the floor as the utensils were around him. "You okay there, butterfingers?" You grin, joking as you make your way over to the kitchen to help him grab the plates from him.
"I-I just got done doing the dishes...that's why I almost dropped them- hands are wet." He explains, swallowing thickly before picking up the forks he dropped.
You smile and nod before going over to the stove and to help Darry pile food on everyone's plates. "Just be careful." You said to Pony who smiled and nodded, "Yes ma'am."
You smile to yourself. Pony was a good kid and you had to admit he is pretty cute. Definitely different from everyone in town. He was dreamy. "Alright, everyone at the table." Darry says as plates were full and carried to the table.
Soda was gone for a bit and when he came back he had on a loose white shirt and fuzzy plaid pajama pants. "Sure is cold out there." Soda says with a slight shiver.
"I know. I nearly froze to death shovelin snow off the stairs." Pony says, looking down before grabbing a glass of chocolate milk.
"Doesn't help that you forgot a coat." Darry grumbles and you sigh, before looking over at Pony who was frowning. "Yeah, I'd hate to see you sick Pony..who else am I gonna pelt snow at?" You joke, grinning.
You and Pony always had to have snowball fights, usually involving the whole gang but it always started with you two until your body was pink from being hit so much with snow and ice. "Besides, then I'd have to take time off and become your nurse." You giggle to which makes Pony blush.
"You gonna put on a nurses outfit too, Y/N?" Soda asks with a smirk and you roll your eyes, "Why? I think it would look more flattering on you." You said, making Pony and Darry choke on their food and try to hide in their laughter.
See the full post
73 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 16:40:11 GMT
#1
WHY NOT ME
"Really? A comfort blanket?" He asks stupidly while snuffing out his cigarette into the ashtray.
"Yes, Dal. A comfort blanket...it helps me sleep at night." You huff, rolling your eyes. Leave it up to Dally to make fun of something that was important to you. Even if it did seem childish.
"Why not have me come over? I can help you sleep...even better after fu-"
His sentence ended short as you lifted a pillow and whacked him in the face with it, but he was quick, grabbing you and the pillow pulling you both close to him. "Why you gotta do that, huh?" His lips twitched to the side before biting his lip.
"Do what?" You ask annoyed. It was getting late and Dally was suppose to leave earlier but it seemed like that wasn't gonna happen any time soon. Though, you just wanted sleep.
"You know I talk dirty but yet you still act like it bothers ya." He shrugs, looking into your eyes. You sigh, rubbing your now heavy eyes.
"Just don't know why you always have to bring up sex." You mumble.
"Blame the whole scorpio thing." He snickers.
"I think you're just a pig." You shake your head before pushing him down onto the bed so you could lay your head on his chest before reaching over to turn off the lamp.
You reach down and grab your security blanket, wrapping it around you. "What? I don't get any?" You thought he was referring to sex but then you felt him tug at your blanket.
"No, get your own." You huff, tugging it back.
You nearly shrieked when you felt yourself being lifted off the bed and onto him. You blew your hair out of your face before looking up at him. "What do you think you're doing?" You ask.
"Using you as my blanket, stupid." He shakes his head annoyed before closing his eyes.
"You're lucky you're comfortable. " you mumbled, laying your head down on him.
"Shaddup."
118 notes • Posted 2021-11-28 15:45:16 GMT
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simpsiren · 4 years
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sung in our heads.
nct jaehyun x reader
so i got the idea from the tiktok trend where your soulmate can hear what song you’re singing or listening and thoughts as well so here’s a short story on it. ENJOY :D
i would gladly continue if you guys are interested in the story so do give feedback alrights!
jaehyun just got home from a night out with his friends. he staggered over to the couch and slouch into it, letting out a long sigh. he knew it was a bad idea to drink since he could get real drunk after only a few shots. the rub his left palm on his face as his other hand grabbed his phone from his pocket to check the time. 4:20AM. he groaned and layed on the couch properly to get some sleep before day break.
however, he suddenly heared music playing in his head. he recognised the song. its Lights Down Low by Bei Maejor. he sighed and shook his head. he looked down at his wrist, where there was the initial of his so called soulmate engraved on it. “it’s gotta be her again.” jaehyun mumbled to himself. he thought why his soulmate would be listening to this kind of song at four in the god damn morning. more importantly, how he would not be able to sleep if his soulmate continued to listen to music. he closed his eyes shut, hoping she would stop soon as he tried to fall to sleep.
you on the other hand, were working on your computer as you bobbed your head to the rhythm of the song you’re listening to, you liked hard core music. the kind that blasts into your ears. it is kind of hard to concentrate on your work while listening to such music, but it really did help you to push on. you had an assignment due first period and your procrastinating ass decided to do it the in early morning. you were almosy done when you looked down at your wrist, the letter ‘J’ engraved in your skin as your eyes widened. are you possibly disturbing your soulmate? in all honesty, you didn’t care about this soulmate shit. why does the world work like this? well only heaven knows. you were thinking of just blasting the music but you were being considerate to your soulmate, whom you still have yet to find, and lowered your music enough, hoping it wouldn’t disturb him too much. you sighed and continued till you were and done and closed your eyes, laying your head on your arms as you fell asleep on your work table.
the next morning, you head your alarm ringing. you groaned as you woke up and stretched your arms out in the air. you stood up and closed the alarm on your phone. you hurried to get ready, shuffling all the folders with your assignments and made sure to stuff it in your bag to make sure you efforts wont go to waste by forgetting to bring it. within less than an hour, you were out the door.
jaehyun woke up after 2 hours of sleep. he looked at his phone to check the time, gaping his mouth open as he realised he would be late to school if he doesn’t go out in 20 minutes. he stood up, quickly feeling the aftermath of last nights drinking while hurrying to the bathroom to get ready. he went out in his hoodie and sweatpants, his hair not even properly groomed and briskly walk to the train station.
jaehyun was waiting patiently for the train to arrive. he really hoped that he wouldn’t be late since he needed to submit an assignment for his major. to distract himself instead of being so anxious, he soft hummed to himself and tried to figure out a rhythm for his next song that he had in mind. due to all the work he needed to do, he didn’t have much time to spend on making music, something he was passionate about since he was a kid. he shook in disapproval and tried to find another rhythm he could use, bobbing his head as he tried to envision a song that he could write and compose.
jaehyun finally hears the train coming. he stopped and looked straight ahead, wanting to get on the train so that he could enjoy the air conditioning in there, since it was such a hot day out. the train door opens and he waited for all the other passengers to move out before he came in. he walks to the opposite side of the train and slouched in glass panel that has a seat beside it in a corner. there, he noticed a girl who sat there with her head hanging freely with her earbuds on. jeahyun shrugged at this and looked out to the window of the train.
a few minutes went past when jaemin suddenly heard a song playing at the back of his head. he could make out that the song was Lauv’s I Like Me Better. jaehyun frowned at this as he thought of how he remembered making a cover of the song and posting it on the internet. in his offfence, he wasnt spectacularly popular but many has heard his covers and music and he is popular- only in this part of town he thought. he turned to look back at the girl who has earbuds on. he noticed that her phone was on and saw that she was playing the same music that he could hear at the back of his head. he furrows his eyebrow at this. he didn’t want to believe that his “soulmate” is just right there beside him. he couldn’t see the initial thats written on her wrist as she slid her hand in her pocket.
you bobbed your head slowly to the music, wanting to feel some peace before you alight at your desinated station. soon you heard the train signalling that your station is next. you sighed quietly as you waited for the train to stop. once you hear the train doors open, you waited for those who wanted to get out first, since you did not want to be part of the fast paced group of people who are always eager to get out the moment the train doors open. you took a look at your phone and realised that your friend, Chista, texted you. you took a look at the notification and widened your eyes. apparently, your work at you left in school got damaged since a commotion of some sort occurred. you didn’t really care about what exactly happened, you were just mad at the fact that you thought your hard work could be kept safely at school. turns out that was completely false. you clicked your tongue at this chuckled in amusement.
as you stood up to walk out of the train, you muttered a soft “well fucking shit.” , taking into consideration that the people beside you might hear but you were not giving two shits about public socialism right now. jaemin heard what you said and raised his eyebrow. he thought to himself “damn bold much.” however, one thing he was unaware of was the fact that you could hear the thought that jaehyun had. before you stepped out of the train, you turned around, wondering who the heck thought of that. you rolled your eyes in response and quick stepped out before talking out of the train station. jaehyun noticed your reaction. he ruffled his hair, shrugged it off, the fact never occurred to him that his soulmate could hear his thoughts as well, not just music.
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jungnatic · 5 years
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not enough time - min yoongi
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pairing: min yoongi x reader
genre: hmm,,, fluf and other things and au!
warnings:really fluffy until a point - small TW maybe?
request: NOPE! pls request
authors note: a song that was first on tiktok inspired me to e=write this JSJSJSJJS but the actual song SLAPS SO HARD so thats what inspired this okok  - click on this for the song <3
- admin mus
You needed it. So badly. You craved it.
All of your friends had been going on about it, outlining every experience of it. You can literally see the hearts in their eyes. Bright pink and full of passion.
"Y/N! Did I tell you about it? It was absolutely amazing!" Somin swayed with every word.
"He was everything I dreamed for. Tall. Smart. Had his melanin. Amazing. He said his name was Namjoon. I wonder if i'll ever see him again." Again, you saw her eyes. Similar to all the others there were pink hearts, full of passion. You thought of it to be nothing.
You let curiosity get the best to you. So there you were, stood infront of the highest building you've ever seen. Blinding silver and reds covered it. It looked so well kept and inviting. As if you were being pushed in by a forced. As soon as you stepped in, a woman rushed up to you. She looked as if she was in her mid 30s and she wore a glistening smile on her face.
"Ma'am, I will keep your shoes on the rack with your name on. May I get you any refreshments before your meeting with the Orincipator?" She asked you carefully, giving each word attention, as if not to mess up.
"Ah..Just a water will be fine, thank you." You nodded to her, slipping off your shoes. The woman nodded back, picking up your shoes as if it were gold. She gave a look. Not a hateful look. Not a joyous look either. Just a look that you couldn't really put a finger on. That was until you heard another gentle voice.
"Miss.Jung, will you please meet me in your quarters after putting the lovely lady's shoes away?" Another women appeared from behind her. You could see Miss.Jung flinch.
"Y-yes ma'am." She nodded before scuttering away, leaving you and the older woman (around her late forties maybe?).
"Now come dear. The Orincipator must be waiting for you." You followed the lady on, the plush velvet beneath your feet felt like nothing you've ever felt before. The walls were lined with a dark maroon wallpaper, paintings of the "Orincipator" hung from the wall, but a white veil covered his face.
"Now young one. Please be careful with your experience." Was the last thing the lady said to you before pushing you into the room.
"Ah..Y/N.." The deep voice calmly greeted you and you sat down.
"Are you ready for the next ten hours, little one?" He had the same veil on his face. You nodded, a bit hesitant, but still up for it.
You were presented with a dish by Miss.Jung. You tried to give her a smile, but you got to see small scratches on her cheek and tear stains behind her fringe as she bent down to give you your glass of water. She hurried out, making no sound.
The Orincipator gestured for you to swallow the small red pill in the dish. So, you did.
"Have fun, small one." You heard as your head started to feel heavy and swirly patterns appeared before your eyes.
"Miss.Jung! Take her to room #165 and tell Miss.Park to bring in the next one."
You woke up, lifting your head from a soft blue pillow below your head. You raised yourself and nearly shrieked in fear when you saw another figure in your presence. He was leaning on the walls, inspecting his fingernails.
"E-excuse me?" You managed to choke out.
The figure jumped forward off the wall in shock.
"Shit.. You're awake huh?" You inspected him and by god was he gorgeous. He had clear, shining skin. His blue-grey hair looked so soft that you just wanted to run your fingers through it. His eyes were a beautiful almond shape and they glistened. You were so interested in the man infront of you that you didn’t notice the big bold red numbers on the wall reading "10:55:45".
"Yeah.." You laughed through your nervousness. "Who are you?"
He inched closer to you as you spoke; "Min Yoongi. You must be Y/N."
You nodded. How odd. He knew your name.
"How..How do you know?" You curled up on the sofa you were so comfortable on.
"I just do."
10:45:25
You guys talked for a bit. He was everything you wanted in an partner. You couldn't count the amount of times you laughed. You couldn’t count the amount of times you smiled.
You were both laid down, one of your hands reaching up whilst one of his hands reached up to intertwine it with yours. It felt like bliss.
7:34:09
Was it possible to fall in love this early?
You both still let your lips lock with eachother's softly. You finally got to run your hands through his hair.
00:25:35
Yoongi glanced over at the clock, amazed at how fast the time went. It startled you a bit when he leaned up so seriously
"Y-Y/N? I need to tell you something. Please."
You furrowed your brows but nodded nonetheless.
"I..I'm just a figment of your imagination." You opened your mind to speak but he cut you off.
"Please just listen, i'm not real. Please believe me-. Th-The Orincipator! He's gotten to you. Can't you see! The drug's messed you up. You're being sold to the Devil Y/N! Try to get out this state! Please!"
You were more confused than ever, but all you started to feel was more love towards him, you didn't focus on anything else. Your eyes started to burn a little too.
"Shit. It's happening. Shit." He cussed out loud, taking you by the shoulders.
"Snap out of it!" He shouted, shaking you harshly.
00:15:03
He was pacing back and forth.
"Please Y/N know this. You're not going to be the same." He was calmer this time.
"Try to fight it off. Please." He pleaded. But fight what off?
00:00:10
He could feel himself start to fade away.
"Please take care of yourself."
00:00:09
"Yoongi? What's happening?"
00:00:08
"Hah.. What was meant to happen in the first place."
00:00:07
"No.. No! You need to stay."
00:00:06
"I need you Yoongi!"
00:00:05
"Sorry doll, i'll always be here for you."
00:00:04
"You're..You're really going huh?"
00:00:03
"I've had a great time with you."
00:00:02
"I love you."
00:00:01
"I love you too."
00:00:00
That's when you realised.
You glanced in the mirror and you felt..Lighter
There were bright pink hearts in your eyes, fluffy and all.
He wasn't there anymore.
That's when you realised.
It's not enough time.
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Hey op, I saw your post about discovering you were autistic. Something similar is happening to me except I haven't gone for a diagnosis yet. Would it be okay for you to talk about how you knew?
For me there are things that...fit really well, that hit very close to home, but others not so, so Im not sure if whatever it is that I've got (because clearly, something is there.) I'm not very sure if the autistic spectrum can be so wide as for me to be included in it.
Any tips?
Of course, happy to help.
For me there were three kind of bigger indicators.
First, and after discussing this one with my therapist, it seems to be very consistent across autistic people: I've always felt different. Like I knew that I was at the very least slightly off in comparison to other people. (Please excuse the phrasing, I couldn't think of another way to put it properly).
Second, linked with the first: I have always experienced this thing I like to describe as 'not feeling like a real person'. All that really means is that I see the way other people are out laughing boldly with friends or joking or just straight up experiencing the world, and I think "man, I wish I could be a real person." And it always made me sad because I was consciously realising that I cannot and do not experience the world in the same way most neurotypical people do. It was just this huge feeling of otherness. (My therapist indicated that this is very common)
Third: masking. Now, this one made me feel bad for a really long time because I had no clue what was going on until my ex-girlfriend was like "oh, yeah, that's masking." For me, one of the biggest ways I mask is to copy mannerisms and speech patterns of people I'm around. I do it the most when I really like someone (friend like or romantically) or when a person makes me so extremely uncomfortable that I guess my brain is like "you need to mimic them for safety reasons." The reason this one bothered me so much is that I always felt like I just couldn't have my own personality, why was I always copying other people, surely they've all noticed and think I'm a fucking weirdo. It was very upsetting until I learned it was masking. Finding that out has helped me to accept it when I do it, even though I am trying to mask less.
So, those are the big three. There are lots of other minor things. I have ocd, which very commonly goes hand in hand with Autism. I got that need for rigid schedule and following the same patterns almost daily (slight variations are okay, but people planning stuff and not telling me when I've already set up my personal schedule for the day in my head, big no no). I eat the same foods on repeat and have an extremely difficult time changing it up. When I like food or dislike it, the primary reason is texture. (My fiance actually pointed this one out. Apparently I talk about the texture of food a ton).
I'm sure you've probably come across information about the emotionality of Autistic people. The common trope is that we are very emotionless. However, thats not accurate at all. There are two main big categories of where we can fall: tending to not feel emotions very strongly (the trope), and feeling emotions very intensely, more intensely than neurotypical society says is appropriate 🙄. I fall into this category, and I hate it because I have spent so much time trying to just not feel my emotions because they are so intense and my expression of them is 'inappropriate' that it has caused a great many mental health issues for me. So the eye roll face is because I think that the appropriate expression of emotion dictated by most of society is stupid. Along with this one, I have a hard time verbalizing and verbally identifying how I am feeling. As a result, I tend to just tell people I am upset. My therapist says this is somewhat common amongst Autistic individuals. I cannot recall the reasoning she gave for it being common, but I am including it because it was brought up in the process of discussing all this.
I also have this huge tendency to overexplain my reasons for things I've done or said because I do not want to be misunderstood/I have experienced misunderstanding so many times that I learned to do this at some point (I consider this to be part of my masking). This one seems to be pretty common, at least from tiktok. I've seen a lot of Autistic people on tiktok mention it.
Side note in relation to this but still relevant to the post imo, I hate that society tends to think you are lying the more detail you provide. I have a tendency to find all details absolutely vital. So when telling someone about what happened in a situation, I relay as much information as I can. Apparently, that means you are lying. It frustrates me a lot.
In that same vein, another thing my therapist said is fairly common: many Autistic people like to ask why continuously. Not as in just repeating "why," but rather that someone will say "I don't know" or provide an answer, but we often are still seeking a further reason. I've done this my entire life, and booooy does it aggravate people. For me it is just that I want to know the reasoning behind things. I want to know as much information as possible about the topic, and, as mentioned above, I tend to find every single detail absolutely important. That just leads to continuously asking why.
So another one for me, of which I am unsure the commonality: I have a very difficult time maintaining friendships unless I see someone most days of the week. I would say about 5 out of the 7 makes it the easiest for me, but it has worked out on less than that, rarely. The reason for this is that I forget to talk to people when I cannot physically see them. I mean, I just don't think about it for weeks on end. Then I will for a second, but won't message them because I'm doing something, and then forget about it again for ages. Part of this is that I prefer in person communication because I can try to read people's body language and facial expressions. The other part is tone of voice is more clear in person than via text. Now, this one bothered me when I was trying to figure out if I was autistic because it is common for Autistic people to not recognise facial cues and body language the same way as neurotypical people. Turns out, according to my testing results paperwork, i just have a higher ability to recognise facial expressions than most people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. So, I just vary a bit from the average.
Within this same vein is the commonly known 'eye contact issue'. The stereotype is that we cannot and do not make eye contact. This is so false. Many Autistic people do not make eye contact well, yes, but not all. For example, I do. I told one of my brothers I was getting tested for Autism and his response was, and I quote literally here, "I don't think you're Autistic because you make eye contact." What he didn't know is the reason why I make eye contact. I do it because I was taught repeatedly that it is how you show people you are listening. So, basically, I'm masking when I make eye contact because I'm solely doing it to show someone I am listening to them. In fact, 😆 I commonly am sitting there telling myself to make eye contact in order to indicate that I am present and interested in what the other person is saying. I also have a harder time masking this way when attempting to talk about things that are important and emotionally relevant to me. In therapy, I rarely make eye contact with my therapist because it is so difficult to talk about things in general that I cannot also make eye contact. Lastly, for this one, the more comfortable I am with someone, the less I make eye contact with them. My fiance, for example, not very common at all that I do it.
There is also the very common special interests phenomenon. The media tends to show this as a math or science thing, but it really isn't. I follow one tiktoker whose special interest is bugs and, I believe, art. I highly recommend her. Her handle is: soundoftheforest. For me, it's language/linguistics and ancient egypt, Greece and Rome. Really, I'd say ancient anywhere history, but those are the big three. Egypt has been my longest interest, besides language. I actually remember the moment I was like "this is it for life." I was 7 and had finished my library books but was bored at daycare. So I went to the book shelf and picked up a book about King Tut. It was the page I read about the day Howard Carter found the tomb. And I just knew me and Ancient Egypt were meant to be forever. As for language, I've literally always been fascinated by it. I started speaking very early and with more complex words than is usual. And I just continued to love language from there. I ended up studying ancient Greek and Latin in college. Also, I info dump about these all the time, almost anytime I possibly can because they're so fucking cool. 😁
Another side note, it is common for Autistic individuals to have delays in speaking, I just did not. It is not something required for the diagnosis. It is just very common.
This one is a little bit weird, and might just be a me thing, but I've discussed it with my therapist. She indicated that it very much aligns with Autism. I cannot, or can but with extreme apprehension and knowledge that I will leave depressed; I simply cannot go into buildings of certain lighting, age, and design. It seems to be buildings that look and/or feel like they were built in the 1960s or 1970s. We haven't really figured out why that is a thing, but it is. I once didn't bother to finish applying for a job to teach Latin that I'd basically been guaranteed so long as I sent in the app because when I went for the interview I saw the building and knew I could not teach there, even part time, because the building would depress me constantly. It's a weird one, but if you have anything at all where you just cannot do it because you know it will affect you like this, I'd bring it up in discussing potentially being Autistic.
I nearly forgot to mention this one, but you've probably heard about the sensory issues that many Autistic people deal with. I have some with touching things, but it is less common an issue for me than my sound sensitivity issues. I am very sensitive to sound. If I had to give a 4th big reason, this would be it because I get overstimulated and overwhelmed by sound multiple times a day. Its rough. If you also have this issue, I cannot recommend enough noise cancelling headphones and chew stim toys when you don't have your headphones. It's really helpful.
This last one I'm going to mention is something that I think I do just to help prevent burnout from masking, but is also part of me specifically. I am an introvert. So that plays a role in this. I spend the vast majority of my time completely by myself. I do mean even when at home with my fiance. We are often in different rooms. I have no problem with it. It doesn't feel like it is bad for our relationship, thankfully. I just prefer to be alone most of the time. The more time I spend around people, the more time afterwards I need alone. That is partially my introvertedness but also me needing to because I am socially exhausted from masking and trying to read all the social cues and not make weird errors when in social settings 😳, which I do a lot. I think I just default to spending time by myself when I am not required to engage with people in order to ensure that I can later. Plus, in discussing this one with my therapist, we concluded that I do this at least in part to prevent burnout and overstimulation.
As for the testing itself. I discussed this with my therapist for a while when waiting to get tested, and by the time I did get tested, I had a nice long list of stuff to bring up. I would definitely recommend compiling a list of the symptoms/signs you feel are indicative for yourself. It was very quick after I first brought it up in therapy that I decided I needed the official diagnosis for myself. So my therapist gave me recommendations of who to see. I also looked myself because the recommended people were so booked they couldn't even schedule further out. Once I got it scheduled, I had to wait like 3 months for the appointments. So, if you are seeking the official diagnosis, don't give up because it's a long wait. From what I've seen others saying, it's pretty common to have to wait a bit to be seen.
There were 3 appointments, an intake, a testing, and a feedback appointment. The intake appointment involved me talking to the doctor about my experiences and why I thought I might be autistic. She asked me a few questions about the more commonly known signs of autism if I did not mention them. The testing appointment took about 4 hours and involved a self report personality assessment, several verbal and memory activities, a teaching activity, two story telling/creating activities, and (the part I thought was most difficult) an activity in which I had to identify the emotion being expressed by just the eye and eyebrow area of black and white photos of people. I also had a take home assessment for someone who knew me really well. It was related to executive functioning abilities and emotional regulation abilities. I cannot speak on the feedback appointment because of technical issues resulting in not actually having that appointment. I have rescheduled it and will be doing that later this month.
If you have anything more specific you want to ask me about, please do. I am happy to answer.
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sulkyshot · 4 years
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Finished angel beats like 2 days ago... reaction on snap memoriesssss
My heart
Ahah... so i heard abt banana fish and I saw this one girl come out crying like CRYING WITH SOUND SOUND yk and im like o shiet it must be good. But Whenever someone mentions it in like tiktok comments or w.e. they're like " so sorry u had to witness that" or "that broke me" or "that was the best anime it was so sad"
So now I'm scared but imma still watch it yk
Oh also atm I'm watching 8 animes.......
-Hunter x hunter (just need aeason 3 but I don't qanna watch it bc its the last one )
-attack on titan ( almost done with season 2 ...season 4 is coming out soonn.... only reason I dont watch often like many others is bc its online and I can't keep track yk)
-fariytail ( epsidoe 234 or 5 or 6 i forgot but idk it got kinda boring eh imma stil finish it sometime this year)
Those were the ones I've already been watching then theres:
- parayste ( with Mark, I got kinda bored of it but eh getting there ) 24 ep count
-avatar ( if u count it as an anime ...i started like a week ago or 2 I think , im grtting there still in season 1 but I like it...o netflic)
-bungo stray dogs ( finsihed season one in a day 💀) bug surprise but it was actually interesting and funny yk different.well I started watching bc of daiske or w.e. the hot bestfriend guy who got our otonashi a job n shit but year I saw an edit and im like oh sheit I should watch that and I did :))
-neon genesis Evangelion ( this one i started watching bc i was bored and wanted to watch netlfix and didn't wanna watch avatar nor hxh sooo I started this one like on Monday or sum and its intresting too ...I'm guessing jts a 90s or early 20s anime bc of the art but I like it i got used to it and in reality it was a bit slow at the beginnijg but now its less slow but im enjoying it.
- saiki ( this one i started when we went to teos house like Tuesday ig , and I was like ou let's check this out i hear its popular too... and I saw the first like 5 min and im like shit this is funny ill leave it so mark can watch too. And yesterday I got him watch with meeeee and were in episode like 3 or 4 and he likes it bc its funny and stupid funny and yes ik his taste ...anyways yea)
Anywyas thats all I have rn ill finsih each one eventually hopefully by the end of the summer ( don't doubt it would be sooner but im also trying to learn janpanese and started this drawing as a hobby Nf got an app for it today tooooo for both things actually (both reccomended by tiktok ) yeah so idk if i even have time bc i also need to copy some chem notes that i got from tiktok heh ...yeah thats all for rn ig ill prolly have another storytime tomr abt today so ..yeh lol
FUCK ITS MARLENS BDAY TOMR UGH and I really dont wanna to go to the driver thing its so embarssing and cringy , like what if a lot of ppl dont come or what if a lot come and u don't get noticed and idk i hate this sm and im glad it wasn't a thing when it was my bday , it would've been so awkward like what are u even suppose to do just wave :|
Also yesterday and today we started waking up at 5 am to go run in the morning and my legs eh are sore ish lmaoaoao mom and Mark were more sore tho they couldn't run today all that much.... yes
Im done gn
June 11 2020 11:58
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