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whatsk-poppinhomies · 3 days

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Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x F!Reader TW : reader is pregnant ; Hyunjin is stressed ; small argument ; reader breaks up with Hyunjin ; Hyunjin regret ; it's mainly angst ; no happy ending ; Word Count : 7.4k A/N : I'm back! Gonna try to write as much as I can before my new job starts!! Request : Anonny : Can you do an angsty Hyunjin Drabble we’re Hyunjin snaps at her because he’s stressed and she’s pregnant but she thinks he snapped because he knows about her pregnancy so she leaves him and he regrets everything and grovels a lot

“Hey baby…” Hyunjin murmured as he walked through the front door, the dark circles under his eyes evident in the bright fluorescent light that hung above the landing. His schedule was grueling nowadays and the jet lag that he experienced had him in so many different time zones you didn’t know how his body was able to handle it. He didn’t even have time to adjust to different sleep schedules before he was being whisked away once again. “Gonna go wash up…” He trudged to the bathroom, the sound of water rushing through the pipes filled the otherwise empty house.

It was always like this, you barely even talked to him anymore other than the short greeting when he walked through the front door. You knew he loved you though, he just didn’t have the energy to really act on the feeling anymore like he used to. You still loved him too, and you’d be there for him no matter what. There was one small… well… Small right now problem… Well, not actually a problem, but it was something that had you slightly on edge.

You had found out you were pregnant, and it’s not like you didn’t want to tell Hyunjin, it just felt like there was never a right time to tell him. He was always gone, and when he came home you didn’t want to bother him with something this big when he already had so much to worry about. It had only been 2 weeks since you took the test, and while you weren’t a fan of hiding things like this, you were still in that timeframe where anything could happen… So it would be unnecessary to even tell him right now when anything could go wrong.

The more you thought about it, it became very evident to you that the trashcan in the bathroom hadn’t needed to be cleared since you took the test. He had been gone for so long, you hadn’t even thought to hide the evidence. It completely slipped your mind, and now you were thinking way too hard, you were panicking. You couldn’t just run in there and take the trash out, he’d question what you were doing. What if he had already seen it? What if he had seen the boxes? What if he looked in the trashcan and saw the positive tests?

Everything might have been quiet in the house, but your thoughts were so loud, and when the water finally shut off and the shower curtain slid open you had barely heard it. It wasn’t until his damp feet padded across the hardwood floors that you lifted your head and saw him coming closer, a towel hanging around his neck to catch the droplets of water that fell from the ends of his hair.

He moved right past the couch that you were sitting on and dropped down into the chair on the other side of the room. It’s not like there wasn’t any room right next to you though… It’s like he didn’t want to sit next to you. Did he find out? Was he mad? He seemed alright when he came through the front door, sure, maybe a bit tired, but that wouldn’t make him want to sit on the complete opposite side of the room… right?

“How was your-” You started, but he let out a loud groan, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Was he annoyed? Was it because you hadn’t told him? He had to have found out, that’s the only reason you could think of. Your top teeth came down into your bottom lip, a sharp breath shooting in between your teeth as you stared at him.

“I’m not ready.” He muttered, and while you didn’t let on outwardly, those three words had your stomach twisting into the tightest knots. Your mouth opened, not even to speak, just to breathe, but his eyes rolled and your lips quickly snapped shut. “Just, don’t talk please. I’m not ready. There’s just too much going on.”

Your head nodded slowly until you were looking straight down at your lap, your fingers twirling around themselves as nervousness and panic completely took over. He found out, he knew, and he didn’t want to know anything about it… He didn’t want anything to do with you or the life growing inside of you right now. He was too busy. “Sorry…” You mumbled, holding your breath to keep yourself from crying right then and there.

“Maybe I should just stay with the guys tonight…” He proposed, and it’s not like you were going to tell him not to. It’s not like you even had time to try to talk him out of it if you wanted to, he was getting up already, tossing his towel into the hamper next to the washer and then going back to the front door, grabbing his keys off the hook and walking out. Not a goodbye, not an “I love you”... nothing. He just… left.

///

“It’s just overwhelming being home after so long…” Hyunjin explained to Chan as he fell onto the couch, his hands running over his face as he let out a loud sigh. “And I know she misses me, and I miss her too… I just can’t sleep, I’m not hungry yet and my schedule is so messed up, I don’t want to bother her with all of that.”

Chans head nodded slowly in agreement, but then he stopped, his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows lowered to cast shadows over his already darkened eyes. “You… did tell her that… right? You told her all of that… Right?” He questioned, and Hyunjins head fell as he let out a dejected sigh. Of course he didn’t tell you that. If he did, you’d just give up more of your time to try to help him. “So you just left… For no reason? And you think that when you return home, everything will be fine?”

“I’m not stupid, hyung. I know that things won’t be fine.” Hyunjin muttered, letting out an even heavier sigh which turned to a yawn. “But I have another out of country promotion thing coming up, so I’m thinking that I’ll just stay here until I leave for that, and then I’ll have a break when I get back to talk to her. It’ll give me time to get back on a schedule that lines up with hers and I’ll be able to actually be with her.”

He could read on Chans face that he wasn’t on board with the plan at all, but he didn’t speak a word about it, instead just shaking his head as he pushed himself up off the couch. “If that’s what you think will work, fine. I won’t interfere with your relationship, you know her best. I’m just hoping that you make the right decision, for your sake, and for hers.” There wasn’t much else to say anyway, deep down Hyunjin knew that his decision making was flawed in some way or another, it’s just that he didn’t know what else to do.

Leaving the way he did left no room for error, the way he left was an error in itself. He might not let on that he knows it was a mistake, but it was, he knew it was. There would undoubtedly be an argument once he did come home, and the time that he was giving the both of you between then and now was mainly to prepare himself for that argument. He hated fighting with you, but being as busy as he always was had him constantly on edge. It’s not like he meant to take it out on you either, he really tried not to, that’s why he left as well. He was just so damn tired. He hoped that you’d understand.

///

“So you’re… pregnant… and you left? You just walked out?” Your friend asked as you sat in her living room, your eyes burning from the tears that you had cried earlier whilst explaining everything to her. “You’re sure that he knows? Like, 100% sure? This seems like… And I’m not disregarding your feelings at all… But, your hormones are most likely surging and, I don’t want you to make this kind of decision based on a whim… You know?”

You knew where she was coming from, she always thought more logically than most, and that’s why you had gone to her specifically to talk to her about what was going on. “Why else would he say that? Why else would he just walk out the way that he did? He didn’t even tell me that he loved me… It’s like… Like he realized he doesn’t love me now that he found out I’m having his kid.” And you crumbled once again, a blubbering mess curled up into yourself on her couch, and no amount of back rubs or consolations were going to make you feel any better. “I mean… I know that we never really talked about having children… And he’s been so busy lately… I just didn’t think he’d react like this…”

She let out a slow breath, she was clearly thinking, but she also knew that right now, you didn’t need realistic thoughts or “what ifs”, you just needed her to be there for you, and that’s what she’d be. “Everything will be okay… I’ll help you no matter what you decide to do.” You fell against her shoulder, letting yourself cry to the point of your eyes feeling so heavy that you could barely keep them open, and you eventually fell asleep. At least in your dreams, this hadn’t happened. Your subconscious mind hadn’t fully come to terms with the events of the day, and in your mind, you and Hyunjin were still happy, and your vivid imagination played out a reality where he and you raised your child together, in a loving home, one where he wasn’t so busy, one where he was actually excited to be a father.

Upon awakening, you immediately checked your phone. A thin sliver of hope that maybe he had messaged you, maybe he’d want to talk about what had happened and why he reacted the way he did. Maybe he’d apologize, maybe he’d explain things… but there was nothing. There were no calls or texts, hell, you even checked your email just in case… It’s like he walked out and completely forgot that you existed.

“Sleep well?” Your friend asked as she turned the corner from the kitchen, her head tilted as she watched you look through your phone, and the cheerful smile she had been wearing just a millisecond before faded to a frown as she walked to sit beside you. “Let’s not worry about that, yeah? We can order in tonight, watch some movies, really get your mind off of things?”

You nodded in agreement, mainly because she was trying so hard, you weren’t going to shoot down her attempts at trying to cheer you up. She was doing the best she could as your friend, and she couldn’t just bring Hyunjin to you or force him to explain… That was something he had to decide to do on his own.

There was nothing though, nothing that could be done to actually get your mind off of what was happening. You couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you’d most likely be a single mother, that Hyunjin wanted nothing to do with you or his child. He wasn’t ready, he didn’t have the time to be around for things like that. He was responsible for so many other things, he had so much on his shoulders, how was he possibly supposed to juggle everything that he was already dealing with and being a father on top of that?

“You pick the movie and I’ll order the food, okay?” She patted your knee after passing you the remote, giving you a smile, but it felt more apologetic. She felt sorry for you. Everyone would pity you… Or maybe they’d pity him. They wouldn’t listen to your side of the story, especially the fans. They’d take his side regardless of what you say. He was perfect, and you had essentially stolen him from them in the first place. They hated you from the beginning, they would find any reason to break you down further.

Or, maybe they’d be happy that you made this decision. They could go back to their delusional thoughts, their dreams that they’d actually have a chance with him now that you were out of the picture. You didn’t want to deal with all of that though. You didn’t want any of this to be made public, you wanted to disappear. That’s exactly what you’d do… You didn’t need him to message you, you didn’t need an explanation…. It would be better for you and your child to be free of him. Maybe… Hopefully, he’d avoid you long enough and just forget about you, forget about the baby, forget about everything.

///

“She hasn’t texted you back yet?” Felix asked Hyunjin who was doubled over the kitchen counter, visibly shaking from crying, yet no sound was coming out, not anymore. “Look, I’m sure there’s a reason… What was the last thing you said to her?” Felix, who hadn’t been told of everything that had happened prior to Hyunjins return for his promotions, was just trying to help as much as he could.

“Nothing… I didn’t say anything to her…” Hyunjin gasped out, finally lifting his head to reveal his eyes that were puffy and red, but underneath the redness was a darker purple from lack of sleep. “She took… Everything. All of her stuff is gone. She left.” And with that reflection came another round of tears. “Chan hyung was right… I know he thought I was stupid… my plan was stupid…”

Felix was baffled to say the least, and on top of that, quite disappointed in his friend who had spent the last 3 years gushing over how much he loved you and how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you. How could Hyunjin have fumbled so badly? “Let me get this straight… You haven’t talked to her at all? What happened?” Now, Felix was no expert on relationships, but he was sure that he could help in some way. There had to be something he could do to help Hyunjin get you back. Things couldn’t be so bad that there was no hope.

“I left… I walked out… And and… It wasn’t her fault… But I did it wrong. I didn’t say goodbye and I didn’t tell her I loved her…” There was still hope though, it’s not like Hyunjin would have ghosted you while he was gone… It was almost a whole month of traveling. He couldn’t go that long without talking to you. Hell, he couldn’t even go that long without talking about you. “I knew I messed up, and I thought… Maybe a little bit of time would make things better. I thought I’d be able to talk to her when I got back because now I have a break… But she’s gone.”

“So you just… Nothing? No communication at all…?” Felixs teeth gritted together, all thoughts of being able to help had been thrown out the window as Hyunjin shamefully nodded his head. “So this… this might be fixable still… you know… with a lot of work. A lot of communication and explanations… This could still work.” But even Hyunjin knew that Felix was just trying to take away some of the sting, give him just a bit of false hope so he could at least sleep easier tonight, but none of it would work. Hyunjin knew the mistakes he had made had cost him an entire 3 year relationship. He fucked up, and there was no coming back from it.

“I’m not stupid, Felix…” The words came out as an exasperated sigh, he didn’t need false hope, he needed you back, and that was the one thing he wasn’t going to get. “I’ve tried to call her, it goes straight to voicemail. My texts won’t even go through. She blocked me. She wants nothing to do with me. I can’t fix things, I don’t even know where she’s at.” He ran his hands rather roughly through his hair, strands getting stuck and yanked out between his fingers, only worrying Felix more. Hyunjin was beyond stressed at this point, he was stressed and depressed, and those two are a very bad combination.

“How about you just not think about it for a bit. Just… Focus on literally anything else.” At this point Felix was pleading. Seeing Hyunjin like this, although it was solely Hyunjins fault, was devastating and beyond worrisome. He didn’t know what Hyunjin would do, he didn’t know how bad Hyunjin could get, he didn’t even know if this was the worst of it. He didn’t like seeing his best friend like this.

Hyunjin scoffed, an unamused smirk stretching across his face. “Oh? Focus on something else, like I’ve been doing? That’s the reason I lost her in the first place. I’m tired of having to focus on so much other shit that I can’t even focus on my own girlfriend!” His voice continued to rise in volume and pitch, and now Felix was downright scared. “I lost the love of my life because I put everything else in front of her! I made everything else my priority! You see where that gets me!”

Felix stumbled back, scared to even attempt to make eye contact at this point. “Look, I get that you’re mad at yourself right now, and that’s fair… But you need to calm down…” Hyunjin wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, he was sure of that, but his hands instinctively moved out in front of him to keep some space between himself and Hyunjin, just in case his words upset Hyunjin even more. “Maybe she needs some time… Maybe she’ll come back to you. You can't just… You can’t be going off like this…”

A laugh, almost maniacal, escaped Hyunjins lips, his head falling back as the sound seemed to vibrate the whole room. “Calm down… Calm down?! How?! How am I supposed to calm down!? Would you stay calm during a situation like this?! If you ruined your entire relationship would you just be calm!?” He continued shouting, and Felix knew that at this point there was no use. He would either descend completely into madness, or he’d come to his senses and realize that he’s acting absolutely crazy right now. “I need to go out, I need a drink or something.” Hyunjin mumbled, and while Felix knew that a drink was the last thing that Hyunjin needed, there was no use trying to stop him, there was no use trying to talk to him, there was no use trying to do anything to help right now.

///

“You’re in a good mood today. What’s got you so happy?” Your friend asked, noticing that you were smiling at your phone for the last 15 minutes at least. “Did you get a new boyfriend or something?” You whipped your head up long enough to scowl at her, and she laughed lightly as she leaned back against the couch. “Okay, no boyfriend… So, what is it?”

You turned your phone in her direction and waved it back and forth as you exclaimed. “I got the apartment that I’ve been looking at. It’s affordable and big enough for myself and the baby.” You dropped your hand down to your lap, clicking off your phone and letting out a soft sigh. “I’ll miss staying with you though… You’ll have to visit me a lot.”

She snorted loudly, leaning forward and reaching over to grab your hand. “I know that you felt like you needed to do this, but I wouldn’t have minded you staying here. The company was nice…” The corners of your mouth pulled down into a frown at the sentiment, it was too late to go back now that you had already agreed and the landlord was in the process of getting the leasing papers. “Hey, no pouting. I’ll be over your place so much that it’ll be like I live there.”

Maybe it was the hormones that had tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, or maybe it was just the fact that you had become so comfortable staying at your friend's apartment that you know how you’d actually do this on your own. Now you wouldn’t have anyone, not Hyunjin, and not even her. “Promise?” You whimpered, and a sympathetic smile spread across her face as she dabbed at your tears with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“I promise. I’m gonna be like the second mom that the baby never asked for.” You laughed weakly at the joke before finally taking a deep breath and getting up, your friend moving right alongside you. “So when is the next appointment? I wanna know what our baby is gonna be, hmm!” You rolled your eyes, but it felt nice to hear someone, anyone, call the baby ours and not just yours…

“Next week…” You murmured as you walked into the kitchen to grab a drink and she followed right behind you. “Is it okay to be scared? I mean… Once I find out… that makes it more real. I still feel alone… And I know that you’re here and I’m so happy that you are… I don’t know what I would have done without you here… But he’s… I still have dreams about him… What it would be like to have him as a part of the baby’s life.”

“That’s normal…” She reassured you, stepping around the counter to rub your back in soothing circles. “Just because you got rid of him doesn’t mean that your heart or your mind can or will get rid of him. He’s the father of that baby, regardless of whether he wants to act the part or not, and you won’t forget that.” And once again you were sniffling, your head falling against her shoulder as she consoled you. She put up with a lot for you, and for that you felt awful, even if she said she didn’t mind. You truly didn’t know what you’d do without her.

///

Hyunjin had slowly begun to get back to his normal routine, although he still missed you, at least during the day he was able to act like he was okay. The same couldn’t be said about nighttime though, he’d lay in bed scrolling through his pictures of you and just cry. 6 months was a long time to be away from someone, and most people would think that it was enough time to get over someone… But it was hard to get over a person if that person was the one that you were in love with.

Daylight hours though, he was the Hyunjin that everyone knew and loved. The only thing that was different was that he didn’t talk about you anymore, and it’s not that he didn’t try to, it’s just that the guys would stop him before he could even get a word out.

It had been weeks now since he had last tried to even bring you up, and all of the guys really thought they were beginning to get somewhere. Sure, they’d still hear him crying at night, but they were really hoping that soon he’d be able to move on, maybe not to another girl, but move on from his mistakes, use them as a lesson in the future for what not to do.

“We should go to the cafe since we’ve got a break, yeah?” Felix suggested as he sat against the mirrored wall beside Hyunjin in the practice room. “I think we deserve to reward ourselves after all of our practice. Plus, I know your ass would never turn down an iced americano, so let’s go.” Hyunjin chuckled as he and Felix both got up off the floor, heading to the door.

“We should go to my favorite place, they’ve got the best pastries and I’m so hungry.” Felix nodded along to the suggestion, anything to make Hyunjin happy and keep him happy. What both of the guys didn’t know though, was that Hyunjins favorite cafe had become your favorite cafe as well. It’s not like you could help the cravings that seemed to come almost overnight the further along you got in your pregnancy.

The walk was short, it was within a block of the building, and maybe that’s why Hyunjin had come to like it so much. It wasn’t just the taste of the beverages and the treats, it was the convenience of it as well. Not just that, but there were memories there, memories that he tried to keep at the back of his mind, but just the sight of the familiar storefront sign had the memories flooding in. He couldn’t help but think back on all the days that he’d meet you there during your lunch breaks, holding hands with you across the table as you both talked about your days. Where did it all go wrong?

“Oh look!” Felix announced, breaking the silence of the otherwise quiet walk. “It must be the anniversary of the cafe opening or something. They’ve got balloons all out front.” Hyunjins eyes were drawn to the pink and white orbs that floated in the front of the shop. Over the five years that he had been going there, he had never seen them do anything like that before for anniversaries, but maybe this one was important.

“That’s cute… Maybe they’ll have some specials or something.” Hyunjin joked, his pace picking up slightly at the thought of a discounted treat. Things were starting to get a little weird now though as he and Felix got closer. There had never been so many cars parked out front of the cafe at once, and as he glanced through the window, he could see pink and white streamers hanging from the ceiling. “Is someone having a party?” He questioned, and Felix peaked in as well, but ultimately shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sure they’re not using the whole cafe, come on. We can probably still get a seat.” Felix pushed through the door, the chime above the door ringing out and letting the employees and everyone else in the cafe know they were there. “Looks like a baby shower… I’ve never known of people having baby showers at cafes… That’s new.” He mused, pointing to the banner that hung above the counter.

“Is it just me… or did it get like… really awkward in here…” Hyunjin whispered, noticing the way the entire cafe seemed to go silent upon their entrance. He couldn’t help but feel antsy under the gazes of so many people. “Maybe we should just go back after we order…”

“Or it could just be because we’re famous… Come on… Don’t make me walk back yet. My feet are tired.” Felix playfully whined, and Hyunjin relented. He was sure that Felix was right, sometimes it was easy to forget that he was an idol, especially when he was out doing normal things like getting coffee with his best friend. “Maybe if the parents know of us, they’ll ask us to take pictures. I wouldn’t mind doing that. That would be so cool actually.” Felix continued to think out loud after ordering the drinks and the pastries, Hyunjin following along as they walked to a table closer to the back.

By that time, it seemed like the people that had already been there for the baby shower were talking amongst themselves, quieter now, and Hyunjin was trying so hard not to be pessimistic, he was trying to truly believe what Felix had said, but there was just this feeling in his stomach that these people weren’t shocked or in awe at the fact that the two of them had shown up. They were angry. Then, the chime above the door rang out, and a unified chorus of “surprise” was cheered. That’s when Felix almost choked on his drink, his eyes widening as he set his eyes upon the new “customer”.

“There is no fucking way…” Felix muttered, and it’s not like he’d be able to keep Hyunjin from looking, it’s not like they wouldn’t pass by the party anyway on the way out. If something were to happen, it was bound to happen, regardless of how much Felix tried to keep it from happening, so he decided not to try at all. All he could do was hold his breath as he watched Hyunjin turn around in his seat and then completely freeze when his eyes landed on you.

It wasn’t just you though, there was someone else… Although they weren’t visible right now, they weren’t standing beside you… They were growing inside of you. You had to be 6… maybe 7 months pregnant by now… And it was all starting to make sense to Hyunjin now… At least in his head. That’s why you left. You had gotten pregnant by someone else while he was away, that had to be the reason. What other reason was there for you to just leave the way you did without saying a single word. This whole time he had thought that it had been his fault… But you had cheated on him. You cheated and you didn’t even have the common decency to tell him before you left.

“Wow! Congratulations!” Hyunjin cheered snarkily as he loudly pushed his chair back and got up, clapping his hands together so hard that it almost echoed off the walls. “Crazy that of all places I finally get to see you again, it’s at your baby shower! Is that why you left, huh? You just couldn’t stay faithful while I was away and you managed to get knocked up! Where’s the father? Where is he, hmm!? I just wanna talk to him!” His voice started rising in pitch and getting louder and louder, something that Felix had seen before, and even though he was upset as well, he didn’t want Hyunjin to do something that he might end up regretting.

“What are you talking about?” You managed to say through tears and sobs, your arms seeming to instinctively wrap around your stomach to protect it from Hyunjins anger. “Stop trying to act so innocent just because you’re out in public! Or did you not even tell Felix?! Or maybe you just conveniently forgot that you’re the one that walked out on me because you found out I was pregnant and you didn’t want to deal with it!”

“WHAT?!” Both Hyunjin and Felix said the word at the same time, both of their expressions mirrored right beside each other as they stared at you, their mouths agape and their eyes so wide it looked like they might fall out. “Wait… Just.. Hold on a second!” Hyunjin stammered, his arms going up in defense as everyone in the room started to get more angry. “You’re… You’re saying… The baby is mine?!”

You let out a sigh of disbelief, your hand running shakily through your hair, but Hyunjin couldn’t seem to take his eyes off your stomach that was rounded out, like a volleyball was placed under your shirt. It’s not like he had never seen a pregnant woman before, but to see the woman that he was head over heels in love with, pregnant… it was something that he couldn’t wrap his mind around, especially now that he knew the baby was his. “I just want to go… I want to go home…” You whimpered to your best friend who had her arm wrapped protectively around your waist.

“No! No wait!” Hyunjin practically screamed when you started to turn around, his hand reaching out to grab your upper arm and keep you from moving any further. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you just walk out? Were you just going to… hide it… from me?” His voice got softer, wavering a little as his eyes glassed over, finally looking at you, and the prominent frown on your face had his heart aching even more.

“Stop pretending… Stop… Hyunjin, you already knew.” The words came out as a single breath, exhausted already from the back and forth of it all. “You didn’t have to tell me… I knew why you left. You saw the test in the bin… You didn’t even want to talk about it. You left… You didn’t tell me you loved me, and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been… It still hurts…” You never turned around to face him, but he didn’t need to see your face to know that you were holding your breath, your cheeks slightly puffed out, something that he always found to be adorable, but now that it was because of him, he was devastated. You didn’t want him to see you cry, you didn’t want him to hear that you were choked up, but he knew…

It wasn’t making sense though. “Y/N…” He whispered your name, stepping closer, feeling the glares of everyone around him, but it didn’t stop him. He wouldn’t hesitate. Even if you didn’t want to get back with him, even if nothing was fixed by this conversation… “I would never leave… Not because of this. If I knew… I would have sat down and talked to you about it… I would have… I would have done things differently. I was stupid, but not because I found out you were pregnant. I was stupid because I was stressed, I was so tired from work and… I thought that I had made a mistake before… But now I can see how big that mistake was. I didn’t just lose you… I lost you and… and my baby…” He needed you to know that everything, every thought that had been filling your head about what you thought had happened, that it was wrong.

Even still, you didn’t turn around, but your shoulders slumped and he could see the deep breath that you took when they raised back up. “You didn’t even call me… I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. You don’t know the hell that I went through… To try to get over you… And I still haven’t. I don’t think I ever will because… I’ll always have her as a constant reminder of you… And I hate that, but I’d never hate her for being born by a father who couldn’t have cared less.”

Those words hurt, they hurt more than anything else you had said, because you truly thought that low of him. “You think I don’t care?” He questioned, and you finally turned around, your mascara running down your cheeks with every tear that spilled over, and you simply nodded. “You’re wrong… I care more than you know. I can’t sleep at night… Because I fucked up so bad… And now I have… I have a daughter…” His voice broke, his head falling back and his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly, trying to remove the lump from his throat. “Now that I know… I don’t… What am I supposed to do? I’m not just going to… Move on and… And act like I don’t have a child… Like I’m not still in love with you…”

“Hyunjin stop…” You muttered, your head shaking as your eyes dropped to the ground. “What do you think saying all this is going to do, huh? If it wasn’t for Chae… I don’t know what I would have done. I would have had to do all this by myself… Because… Because fine, you didn’t know I was pregnant… But you still walked out on me. You put your job before me, above me… You always have…”

“I know…” Hyunjins head solemnly nodded, you were right, it had been one of the constant arguments that the two of you would have been he still had you, but he had been too blind to see that it would be his biggest downfall. “I know I did, and I regret it, and I’ll regret it even more now. I’ve changed though… And I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know what I want to happen. I want to be a part of her life… Whether what I want happens or not… Can I at least have that…?”

///

“So… You’re still single… I’m still single… I don’t know what you’re holding off for…” Hyunjin teased as he helped you hang the banner across the wall. “We’re great at coparenting… I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if we were one unit? We’d be unstoppable. We’d be the coolest parents ever! Not to mention, the hottest parents at school pickup when she’s older.”

You rolled your eyes. He always managed to find a way to have some sort of variation of the same conversation every single time he came over. He was relentless. “Mm… Don’t fix what’s not broken, haven’t you heard that saying before?” You chimed, stretching up on your toes to try to even out the banner that he seemed to put just high enough for you not to reach on purpose. He stepped behind you, his breath hitting your neck and sending shivers down your spine as he grabbed your end and hung it for you. “You’re such a dork…” You mumbled as you turned around, your breath catching in your throat when you realized just how close his face was to yours.

“And I’m once again asking if I could be your dork… again…” He smiled hopefully, his head tilted to the side, and although you had admitted to yourself multiple times already that you still loved him, that he was the only man that you’d ever be able to love, that you wanted nothing more than to get back with him… There was always going to be that part of you that worried about him going back to the way he used to be. Going through it once was enough, and you had come to terms that yeah, maybe part of it was your fault for jumping to conclusions and leaving the way you had, but he had been in the wrong as well, and you refused to go through that again, especially now that you had a child to protect as well.

“But you are my dork…” His eyes lit up momentarily, and you giggled lightly, taking the momentary lapse of attention as a way to slip away. “I still have to put up with your antics almost daily, and you’re over my apartment every day.” He was following you around now as you straightened the decorations that had already been resituated a million times today. “Did you get the cake?” You turned to look at him, his pursed lips and the already guilty look on his face had you groaning loudly.

“Calm down, baby.” He cooed, and you hated how much you missed hearing him call you that. “I already got it, it’s in the fridge. Have more faith in me… I’m not an absolute pabo.” Your lips pulled into a straight line as you stared at him, but when he remained silent you snorted loudly. “What? What?! Would a pabo make such a beautiful, intelligent, silly, baby girl? Hmm? Would he?”

“Yes, yes he would.” You retorted with a giggle. “Because the pabo is very handsome, and very silly. She got her smarts from me though.” His lips pulled down into an overly dramatic pout and you playfully pushed against his chest as you shook your head. “Let me take credit for her intelligence, she’s only pretty and silly because you’re her dad. Luckily she looks a lot like you. Although we’re gonna have our work cut out for ourselves when she gets to school.”

You went to step around him, but his hands landed on your hips, stopping you from any further as he looked you in your eyes, his gaze becoming more serious. “You’re beautiful…” Everything that came out of his mouth before this could have been taken as a joke, and maybe it was all meant to be taken as a joke, but the light tone that he had been carrying the whole afternoon was gone now. “You’re so beautiful, so smart, so perfect and… and every single day I wonder if it’s going to be the last chance I have to even try to get you back… but until that day comes, I’m going to keep trying because if I’m not with you, I don’t want to be with anyone.” He took a deep breath, his arms dropping to his sides as he took a step back. “But if you ever do find someone else… Can you give me a heads up, just so I can prepare myself for the heartbreak of seeing the love of my life with some other man… Please.”

“You’re so dramatic…” You muttered, taking a step to close the space that he made between the two of you. “You don’t have to worry about that ever happening… There’s no one that can ever make me feel the way you did…” Hesitantly, you reached out to grab his hands, your thumbs brushing along his knuckles. “I’ll never want anyone but you.” Was it really smart to be admitting these things to him? Probably not. Who knew what would happen now that he knew, and you still weren’t ready for anything with him, at least not anything where it felt like your entire life was on the line. “You’re everything to me… and-“

His hands pulled away from yours, and for the split second where you couldn’t feel his touch, you panicked. Was he mad at you? No… His hands moved to cup your cheeks as he placed the softest, sweetest, most bittersweet kiss to your lips. It was everything, the sparks once again unleashed in the pits of your stomach just like the first kiss all over again. “You don’t have to explain… I know that you’re not ready… I’m just happy to hear that there’s no one else. And I’ll wait, I’ll keep waiting until you think that I’m deserving enough to be with you again.” His thumbs brushed your cheek before his hand slipped to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as his forehead rested against yours. “I love you though, only you, it’ll only ever be you…”

“The birthday girl has arrived!” Changbin announced as him and the rest of the guys walked through the front door, your daughter waddling in infront of them all, her tiny feet carrying her fast over to where you and Hyunjin stood, her tiny hands grabbing at the air in front of her until she reached the both of you. “Are we… interrupting?” Changbin questioned, eyeing you and Hyunjin suspiciously, but you both shook your heads, and you quickly wiped the few tears that had fallen before giving the guys a smile.

“Nope, you’re just in time!” You clapped your hands together, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves and looking around. Everything was perfect. “Thanks for watching her while we decorated. Was she good?” The guys all nodded, but they still looked between you and Hyunjin, the assumptions and suspicions that they had were obvious. You were just glad that at the end of the day, Hyunjin would be the one faced with the questions, not you.

“Ah! Look at my big girl! Dada missed you bunches!” Hyunjin squealed as he scooped up his daughter, spinning around with her as he peppered kisses across her face, eliciting a chorus of giggles to pour out. “Do you like? Is it pretty?” He asked as he pointed at all the decorations, walking over to all the places she pointed to and letting her grab at the balloons and the streamers.

Your heart swelled whenever you watched him with your daughter. He was a great father, he was a wonderful boyfriend when he wanted to be, and you wished that you could get rid of all the doubt and fears and hesitations that you had about him. He truly was perfect, he’s everything that you wanted. He said that he’d wait, but was it fair to keep him waiting? You didn’t even know how long it would take… Maybe someday… Someday soon… You’d be able to give him the answer he wanted, the answer that you want… But for now… For now you both could be happy like this, and for today, you’d let yourselves forget about everything and focus on your daughter and celebrate her 2nd birthday together, as parents, as a family, surrounded by all the people she loves and all the people that love her.

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nogenderbee · 3 days

Text

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request Kaeya, Neuvillette, Ayato, and Wriothesley with a dragon s/o?

Also, how are you?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah!! I kinda sillies in Kaeya's part but I hope it's not a problem- Either way, I'm good! Snd you~? ^^

Hope you like what I wrote hehe

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Kaeya noticed dragon-like looking person when he was walking back home from Angel's Share, so naturally, he thoughts it's alcohol doing...

✧ but who is he to decline his fate? He came up and complimented your features anyway, sure tomorrow he'll see you as normal citizen

✧ from your end, you noticed the man was obviously under influence of alcohol but he wasn't harmful... so you let the conversation go the way you wanted~

✧ and when on next day he discovers it wasn't him tripping... well.. he's glad to have such an interesting friend! Because unless you push him away, he's not gonna back away from this friendship!

"My my~ It's rare to see someone so pretty! That tail must be really heavy, huh? Want me to hold it for you?"

✧ but if you two are lovers and he sees your real form by mistake... he'll be freezed for a second... hehe get it? Because in his ult he- ehem.. sorry..

✧ but when he sees you panicking, he immidietly chuckles and assures you while caressing your cheek with his hand gently and maybe flirt while he's at it as well~

"Why would I ever think you're a monster when you're as stunning as always, my darling? Maybe even more~ This "scary look" definitely makes you look even more lovable~"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @toyaswif3y - come get your cavalry capitan~

✧ Ayato, being head of Kamisato Clan, is always trying to be as respectful as possible, be it if you come from different region or aren't human... as long as you're friendly and give him respect back, he'd be happy to chat

✧ but dragons in Inazuma are still rarely seen... so when he noticed you on his walk, he tried approaching you with a soft look

✧ he honestly just wishes to get to know you and maybe realize the difference between human and dragons behavior... and who knows? Maybe he'll get to know even more if he plays his cards right?

"Good evening. I'm sorry it I started you, I just noticed your... rare beauty and wondered if you'd be interested in a little chat?"

✧ tho if you're already partners and you happened to hide your real form well... he'll be even more interested...

✧ how did you manage to hide it from him for so long? He's curious to me know this and many more about you

✧ but if he sees you're stressing yourself over the fact he found out, he'll be quick to calm you down, assuring you he still loves you the same

"Please calm down... I don't see why you hid it in the first place... Did you really thought I wouldn't love you just because you have tail? If anything, I say you only expanded my interest in you~"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your boba lover!

✧ and so is Neuvillette~ he just has a bit of a better disguise while you're... walking proudly in your form... and that's alright!

✧ if you can be easily found on streets, he'll be happy to see another dragon friend and will probably even approach you himself

✧ Charlotte definitely saw you two interacting at some point, especially since Neuvillette is a big person, but of course she asked first before publishing anything and it's up to you if you were in the news or not!

✧ but if you prefer hiding in quieter places, there's still a chance he found you and yob two chatted either way

✧ he'd probably come off as calm but in reality, he's pretty excited to finally meet another dragon with such a pleasent personality

"I find it quite surprising we haven't met untill today... I'd like to get to know you more if you don't mind."

✧ and if it happens you both are already dating when you spoil your secret identity~ believe me, he won't mind one single bit!

✧ he literally can't understand why you even tried hiding it from him when he already told you he's the same

✧ but don't worry, he's not mad, if anything he's gentle and tries his best to be reassuring

"Why were you afraid? Haven't I already revelead I'm the same? My love for you can't be broken, no matter who you turn out to be."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @toyaswif3y - come get your otter judge~

✧ Wriothesley is already friends with Neuvillette and has pretty sharp eye and ear, there's no way he didn't know his friend is a dragon

✧ so when he got our of Fortress of Meropide to get some work done and saw a dragon, of course he was surprised since seeing one is rare, but he also didn't care to make a scene

✧ he probably ignored you letting you live your life since there was no reason for him to interrupt anything, unless... you're wandering around terrains, the he may

"Excuse me, you may want to keep away from these terrains. You may be taken as a prisoner running away by mistake."

✧ and if you already were his partner, I feel like he'd hear some stories from his dragon friend already... so he'd joke that you act like some dragons in the stories, turning out to be... half joke...

✧ but when you finally reveal the truth to him, he doesn't mind at all! The only thing that changed is the way he may tease you from time to time but that's it

"Walking around in your true form for once? Glad you're comfy. But watch out for your tail or it'll knock down something."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @toyaswif3y - come get your teddybear duke~

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homestylehughes · 3 days

Text

forbidden love

pairing(s): nico hischier x fem!hughes sister

summary: what happens when they both want a love that's forbidden?

warnings: fluff, sooo much flufffff. nicos a cute little baby in this. shy, nervous and cute reader. use of pet names and y/n. cussing, implied smut 18+ intense makeout, nothing too heavy.

wc: 3.6k

an: hiiiiii loves!!! NICO FIC NICO FIC NICO FIC!!!! about damn time!! loveeee nico. hes so ?? to many words. i really enjoyed writing this. this is my first hughes sister story i've written, and i loveeee, hopefully you guys do too! i had trouble deciding if i should make this a cliffhanger or not... i kinda did but i think i want a part 2 if you guys want that!!! share your opinions, i love hearing them!! anyways i hope you enjoy, this might be my favorite piece yet. i hope you guys enjoy! like and reblog if you do, much love as always<3

happy reading <3

Nico knew he couldn't have you, but he wanted you anyway. Being Luke and Jack's older sister, made you off limits to anybody on the team, older or not. Nico had not always felt this way about you until recently.

Ever since Jack got drafted to the devils, and then luke, he started to see you at more fundraising events held by the devils, team outings whenever you were in town visiting. Stealing little glances at you when you were in the same room, being pulled in by your smile and how you moved your hands as you talked to anyone and everyone.

If that didn't already pull him into you even more, what did was, how you acted with the rest of the team treating all of the boys like they're our own family. Always greeting nico with a shy smile and hi, making conversation about anything, hockey related or not.

Nico was enhanced by you, but he couldn't have you, which brings you guys to this moment.

–

“Jack if you don't answer your phone, god help me” I yell shout out, as I call Jack for the 10th time in the span of 15 minutes. Already calling Luke’s phone around 30 times, still no answer. My hands are shaking as I type out random masses of texts to both of them.

So maybe taking an impromptu trip to see my brothers wasn't the best idea. living in vancouver had its perks, being close to Quinn was one of them but i missed my two younger brothers, or maybe i should say assholes since neither of them can answer their phones.

I'm standing outside their apartment soaked from head to toe, not thinking about the rain, nor was I thinking about the fact that they had moved, leaving me with no key to their place.

So I'm stuck, knowing there's nothing I can do. I pull my suitcase over to the wall, slowly and dramatically slide down the wall, letting out a deep sigh as I do. My phone is almost dead, I'm hungry, jetlagged, annoyed, cold, wet and so many other words right now.

Dropping my head into my arms that rest on my knees, deciding that this will be my final resting place, for tonight. I hear the elevator door ding open on the floor, not bothering to look up knowing it's neither jack or luke walking down the hall.

“y/n” I hear my voice with a thick accent say, knowing the voice I slowly lift my head up, locking eyes with the one and only Nico Hischier “Hi..” I mutter back embarrassed at the fact that look like a lost wet dog right now in front of him.

“Are you okay, did something happen?” he asks back as he begins to walk closer to me. “I uhh…wanted to surprise Jack and Luke but it seems like they aren't here.” i sign out, “to make it worse i don't have a key to their apartment, they're not answering my calls or texts. My phones almost dead and i'm covered in wet rain and i'm cold.'' I huff out the last part, my eyes beginning to fill with tears. I close my eyes quickly not wanting to look like a fool even more and cry in front of nico.

“Oh y/n”, expecting him to just stand there, instead he makes his way to me taking a seat on the ground next to me. "What are you doing nico?” I say, opening my eyes again, turning my head to lock my eyes with his. I get a good look at him for the first time since this, and fuck is he beatiful.

His deep voice snapping me out of my trance as he speaks, “sitting with you, what else does it look like.” he says followed with a soft chuckle. “Nico, you don't have to do that, I'm okay, you can go home, I'm sure you're tired.” instantly feeling bad he's wasting his night away with me out here.

“Jack and Luke would kill me if I left you out here by yourself”, “if I don't kill them myself” I say back my eyes now dropping back my feet. That earns a laugh from Nico, he has such a nice laugh, I think to myself. y/n, snap out of it and get it together.

Sitting up straighter, pulling my head to lean against the wall, mirroring nicos position. “Are you sure? You don't have too, i'm not even sure when they'll be back.'' I say looking at Nico, who's looking back at me. “Well I do have another idea,” he says, licking his lips before speaking again. “I live right down the hall, if you'd like you can stay with me until they come back.”

“Nico i can't do that, i feel bad”, “don't feel bad, i'm offering. I'm leaving you out here by yourself.” he repeated to me again. My heart picks up at his words. Taking a deep breath, I weigh my options in my head, knowing that this is probably the best option, but also my worst.

How am i going to survive with very, sweet, hot, sexy, nice, handsome, pretty, swiss caption of the new jersey devils, nico hischier? I'm probably not, but at least I'll die happy and not here.

“Okay, I'll come. Thank you so much nico.” I finally answered him, “dont worry about it, come on let's get you changed and warmed up i can't imagine how cold and tired you are” he says with a soft loving look on his face. Getting up before me, holding out his hand for me to grab, pulling me up from the floor. His hand feels so soft and warm in mine, I don't want to let go.

Pulling my hand out of Nico’s, I go to grab my suitcase, to follow him down the hall, before I can fully grab it Nico has it in his hands. “Nico..i can grab my own suitcase” “i know you can, but i want to do it, so i am” he says as he looks back at me smiling.

Ignoring how his smile made my whole body tingle, I sigh out and shake my head as a small smile breaks through on my lips, as I follow Nico down the hall.

Stopping at his place, only a few doors down from my brothers, popping in the key and turning the lock, quickly opening the door. He motions for me to go in first, I give him a small smile as I enter the apartment.

Taking in the place around me, pictures of his family and teammates over the walls, little nicnacs that fill the space, it feels like home. “Does my place give you your approval?” he says from behind me, “yes it does, jack and luke need to take a few home decor lessons from you.” that earns me another laugh from nico.

“Let me show you the guest bedroom” he says, leading me through the apartment, down a hall, opening a door which I assume is in the guest room. “Here's the guest room, hopefully it's okay and comfortable for you, I wasn't expecting anyone over anytime soon and i-” “Nico'' I say, cutting off his ramble. “It's perfect, thank you” I say walking in front of him, pulling him into a hug.

God, he smells so good. The way his warm body is wrapped around me like a warm blanket, I don't want to pull away, but I do after a few moments.

“You're welcome y/n” he says looking at me again, i can feel my heart beginning to heat up. Clearing his throat before looking away, “the bathroom is at the end of the hall, my room is at the beginning of the hall.” he says, while pointing in the direction. Nodding in understanding even though he can't see me.

“Feel free to shower and get changed, i'm going to head to the kitchen to start making dinner” he says now turning back to face me, “nicooo… you don't have to cook anything. You're already doing so much for me by letting me stay here, really”

“Now what kind of host would I be, if I let a pretty girl like you starve under my watch.” Nico replies with a teasing smile on his face. “A bad one i guess” I smile breaking through my face. “You called me pretty” I said again, my eyes never leaving his. “I did, because you are.” he says before walking out of the room, leaving me stunned.

“Do you have any special requests for dinner?” I hear him shout from the kitchen, popping my head out of the room, “no! Surprise me!” I replied.

This is dangerous, I can not think or find him attractive. He’s my brother's captain, teammate and also one of their closest friends. I have to keep it together.

I gather my things to take a shower, making my way to the bathroom, shutting the door and turning the shower on. I then work on peeling off my semi- wet clothes off my body, the relief filling my veins once they're finally off, finally making my way into the shower. The hot water relaxes my body instantly. Throughout the whole shower all of my thoughts are about Nico, and I'm going to act once I get out of here, making me nervous and feeling things. Things i shouldn't feel.

Turning off the shower, getting out and drying myself quickly. I began getting redressed again, clearing the mirror to take a look at myself, the old devils shirt i've had for god knows how long, that's probably three sizes too big, and shorts that you cant even see. Not bothering to pack pants, because I thought I would be staying with my brothers, not Nico.

Inserucies start to plague my mind but I push them down. brushing my hair, fixing my shirt, deciding that it's good enough. Grabbing my things before making my back to the guest bedroom. dropping off my things in the room before taking a deep breath making my way towards the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen, nicos back is turned to me. A sight that I'm not complaining about seeing. The way his mussels are ripping through his shirt, is enough to make my mouth water. What I'm doing. Get it together.

Walking further into the kitchen, I get a better look at what he's cooking, pasta boiling the water and it looks like he's making a type of sauce. Smiling softly to myself, at how sweet he is.

“Do you need any help?” I say breaking the silence. Nico turned around quickly, a smile dancing on his face. “No, I'm okay, thank you though. How was your shower?” he asks before turning back to the stove again.

“It was good, thank you” I say, still standing awkwardly in the kitchen, not sure where to go or what to do. “I can feel your nerves from over here y/n.” nicos voice breaks through the kitchen as he speaks, “I'm sorry, I'm nervous.” I nervously laughed out loud. “Why?” Nico says as he circles his way around the counter leaning against it, in front of me.

“You make me nervous, I don't know how to act around you.'' I said truthfully to him, while looking in his eyes. “You make me nervous too, don't worry” he says as he looks me up and down, his gaze feels like summer sun on my skin, leaving trails of heat throughout my body.

“Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes, feel free to take a seat, or keep standing there checking me out. Either work for me” nico says to me, winking as he walks around the kitchen again. I'm frozen in place. What just happened? Is Nico flirting with me? The wink? Holy shit.

My mind and body are on fire, as I walk over to the island to sit down. Tension fills the air, I sit there for a few minutes trying to wrack my brain of something to say.

Nico beats me to it before I have the chance to open my mouth. “You look different” he says, back still turned towards me. “What do you mean by different? Is that a good or bad thing?”. “Not bad,” he replies now, turning to look at me, “just older, I'm not sure how to explain it, but you look good.”

“Thank you?” i say my cheeks are warming with blush. “You’re welcome” he hums back. “You look really good too” I say, Nico chuckles at me “shit, sorry. You look good like everything you know? Mussels, everything. I'm rambling, shit. this is embarrassing." I say, dropping my head into my hands with a groan.

“I found it cute, don't worry pretty girl.'' Turning around to get plates out of the cabinet. Pretty girl. Gosh he's making it harder to not go pounce on him right this second.

“Dinners done, are you ready to eat?” he says a few moments later, nodding my head at nico as he looks my way. Grabbing two plates filling them with the pasta he made , which looked so good. My stomach growling, reminding me how hungry I am.

Placing my plate in front of me, along with a glass of wine that I didn't even see him pour. “I think you might need this after today” he says justering to the wine, as he takes a seat next to me. “How'd you know?” I slowly laughed to him, “this food looks so good, nico. Thank you so much”

“You don't have to thank me, y/n but, you're very welcome.” he says to me. “Now eat, I heard your stomach growl in the kitchen.” he says in a teasing tone. My eyes widened, quickly grabbing my fork, and digging in. the flavors, melting on my tongue. I internally moan at the taste.”fuck this is so good” i say with a mouth half full. Forgetting Nico is right next to me, I'm quick to cover my mouth with my hand.

“I'm glad you enjoy it.” Nico says, smiling at me before taking another bite. Nico and I make small talk as we eat, talking about anything from hockey and my brothers to my job in Vancouver, and everything in between. Finding myself laughing and blushing more than I would have liked. Nicos charm pulled me in, and I couldn't find a care in me to stop falling for it.

“Thank you again for dinner nico” I say as he clears the plates. “Of course, not everyday I get to cook for thee, y/n hughes” “shut up” I laugh back at him.

“At least let me do those dishes, since you made dinner,” I say , making my way to the sink where Nico is standing. “No way, go sit back down,” Nico says, looking down at me. “I'm not taking no for an answer nico.” I say placing my hands on my hips, “fine, but I'll dry them.” he says, narrowing his eyes at me.

“I know why Jack and Luke say you're bossy”. “Hey now. I'm not that bossy, shut it” turning my body away from him as I speak. Turning on the sink, grabbing the sponge and soap, and began washing the plates in the sink.

Nico just chuckles in response. We began a system of wash, dry, wash dry. The silence is comfortable as we work in peace. It almost feels domestic? Something that I could get used to. y/n stop thinking about that. It will never happen.

“y/n” nico says snapping me out of my day dream, “hmm?” “You've been washing the same plate for the last 2 minutes. I'm pretty sure that it's clean ""oh!" I say looking down at the practically shiny plate in my hands, “here you go I'm sorry” handing him the plate, our hands grazing, making my heart rate speed up.

I have to get out of the kitchen, I say to myself. Turning off the water and drying my hands on the towel, stepping away from the sink, locking my eyes on my sock covered feet.

“Are you okay?” Nico asks me, raising my head to look at him. “Yes I'm okay, just tired,” I say softly. “I think I might head to bed, see if Jack or Luke responded to me or not.”

“Of course, feel free.” Nico says, while putting the dishes away. “Okay..thank you again for dinner, again. Goodnight.” I say as I make my way out of the kitchen, Nico following behind me. “Good night y/n.” he says to me with a small smile on his face, i smile in return and make my way to the guest room for the night.

Closing the door behind me, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. making my way over to the phone to see that neither jack or luke have responded to me, a frown falling on my face. I call them each again, even sending Quinn a text asking if he's heard of them.

Locking my phone, setting it back on the bedside table, I pull back the blankets settling into the bed. Slowly sinking into the comfort of the bed, I can feel the effects of today hitting my body. My eyes slowly closing, the one thing crossing my mind is nico.

Just as I'm able to fully close my eyes, I hear a knock on the door. Getting out of bed, opening the door to see a now shirtless nico in sweatpants standing in front me. Hair messy, like he's been running his hand constantly through it.

“Everything okay, did you need something?” I ask him, trying to keep my eyes on his face only. “Everything is fine, yes” he replies to me quickly. “Are you sure?” I ask again, feeling like he hasn't told me the whole story yet.

“Can I do something?” He asks me if I can feel his eyes looking at my lips, “yes?” I say swallowing quickly. Nico takes a step more, until he's directly in front of me, his face a few inches from mine.

“I shouldn't want to kiss you y/n '' he begins, my breath hitching as he places both of his hands on my hips, his thumbs tracing small circles on them. “I shouldn't have these thoughts about you. Youre jack and lukes older sister, fuck i should be thinking about you like this.” he says now locking his eyes with mine.

“I can't help myself though, everything about you is perfect. I want you all to myself.” one of his hands begins tracing up my side, making its way to the side of my neck holding it place, lifting my head to meet his face better.

“I want you so bad. I can't have you though. You're like a forbidden fruit that i want to taste and kiss and love so bad but i can't have you, and it's killing me.” he finishes dropping his head lower to mine, our faces now only a few centimeters apart.

“Who says you can't have me?” I say softly, not trusting my voice, trailing my hands around his neck. “What if I want you too?” I whisper out before connecting our lips together.

Nico is quick to respond, pulling my body flush against his, our lips dancing together. His hand trailing down to my ass, grabbing a handful of it before pulling away, smiling at me, “I've wanted to do that all day” he smirked at me, before connecting our lips together again. His tongue enters my mouth as we fight for dominance, deciding to let Nico win.

I began to walk backwards towards the bed, hoping Nico would follow. Before I know it he's picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder, walking down the hallway and tossing me on the bed in his bedroom.

I look at the room around me, taking in every detail, before locking eyes with nico who's now looking at me from above. The way his chain dangles in my face, and his brown eyes look in the dimly lit room, and how his chest rises and falls is a sight I want to see forever and forever.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” he smirks to me, “you're just so pretty” i say as i run my hands through his hair. “Isn't that something i'm supposed to say?” he asks as he begins to place soft kisses down my exposed neck.

“Maybe you could show me instead?” I say, pushing my lips to his again. His hands quickly fell underneath my shirt, tracing up my bare sides. I remove my hands from nicos hair, pushing myself up from the bed. Pulling off my shirt, throwing it somewhere behind us, clipping my bra, tossing it in the same direction as my shirt. Now leaving myself completely bare in front of nico besides my shorts.

Our chests are raising and falling together, our eyes locked. “y/n..” nico says to me breathlessly. “Fuck you’re so beautiful” his hands running along my bare sides and underneath my breasts. “Are you sure about this?” he asks me, our faces close together again, “i've never been so sure about anything in my life, Nico please touch me.” desperation in my voice dripping like honey.

A growl like noise rips through nico, as he reconnects our lips together again. His hands are everywhere, heat spreading all throughout my body. I feel him everywhere. I want him everywhere.

If he's a forbidden fruit, then why does it feel so good?

#nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #new jersey devils #nico hischer x reader #nh13 #nico hischier #njd #nico hischier smut

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loveemagicpeace · 2 days

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Observations about moon signs☁️🧚🏽🍓

Aires moon- can be very self-centered, they have no need to be depend on someone. They enjoy their company and also doing activities. Playing sports means a lot to them and they like to have a routine that they can enjoy. You don't like to stay in one place for long. They are positive and emotionally strong. They handle life's things well. In a relationship, they need a partner who will encourage and support them in the things they will do and allow them to have freedom. My opinion is that this moon is most susceptible to emotional freedom and freedom in a relationship.

Taurus moon- like cute things and like to spend time with people who are close to them. They need touch and it is also very important to them. They will quickly show this to the other person as well. They simply cannot be without physical touch. They love hugs, kisses on the cheeks and warm feeling. I would describe them as teddy bears. They also give very warm and nice hugs. Food is important to them (they like to eat good and quality food). They like to spend time in the cinema, at cozy couch, also they really like music. They like luxurious things and jewelry (also worn many times). They like to spoil their partner. They are very loyal and emotionally strong. They persist and won't just go away (their emotions are very strong and stable).

Gemini moon-like people who have a good mindset. Talking to a person is very important to them (there are also people who like communication and will communicate with you late at night). They think a lot about their feelings and analyze the other person's thoughts. They quickly find out how the other person works and in what way. They are people who can also give you very good advice and will know how to enter into a neutral role emotionally. However, they can often be moody and irritable at home and with relatives. You may not need to study something in depth to feel that you know enough about it.

Cancer moon-like people who are emotional. Emotional interaction means a lot to them and they put a lot on the other person's feelings. They have to feel emotionally safe, that they can trust someone. They are very intuitive and will immediately detect a person's vibrations (whether they are good or bad), they also detect spaces and energy in general. They sense that things will happen before they do. They are not so emotionally open and only open up to those they really trust and know that they can expose themselves emotionally (even though they don't like to do it). They are emotionally very strong and can handle a lot of emotions. They like hugs, kisses. They really like to spend the night with someone and this for them also represents some kind of bonding with another person. For them, sleeping with someone in the same bed is a very intimate thing. They like to have their own comfortable space in which to spend their time. It is very important for them to be able to be who they are in a relationship and to express their feelings freely. But they can also be stubborn and impulsive.

Leo moon- can be very dramatic and self-centered. They love spending time with their partner and spending time with them. They also need a lot of emotional attention, they want their partner to notice them and give them their time. They like to do crazy things with a person and thus bond with them in a way. Above all, they like children's things or things they did as children and share it with others.It means a lot to them if you do something with them that includes their hobbies.Emotions are often overwhelmed by the ego (which means that they can feel a lot but don't let themselves express it). Although when they really want something, they will leave their ego behind. I have a feeling that many times they can be lonely inside and they don't show it out loud. They can quickly begin doubt in themselves and whether they are good enough for someone.

Virgo moon-however, this moon can be very critical of itself and others. People with this moon often do not know how to express their emotions, at least not in the way that someone might want. They know how to take care of others and offer them support when they need it, but when they can get close to someone, they can have a problem, and they know how to show it. They are also paranoid and have great concern for the health of others and themselves. Cleanliness means a lot to them and they want to have a tidy and pleasant home. Men with this moon tend to do a lot of cleaning and also do women's chores. They can choose partners based on their routine.

Libra moon-are very social and need socialization. But they are also tied to the fact that they like relationships and can feel lonely when they are not in a relationship. Which means that they can choose a partner who may not suit them so much, but they will be with him because they don't want to be lonely. They like to have friends and hang out with them. Their emotions are rational and neutral. Otherwise, they can be very emotionally attached to their partner and the relationship can mean a lot to them (but they can sometimes have a problem staying in it if all the conditions are not met).

Scorpio moon- can be very secretive, emotionally closed or too intense. Deep feelings and someone with whom they can share all their secrets mean a lot to them. They are emotionally very devoted and sacrifice a lot for their partner, home, and family. They may have a special attachment to children and want to give them as much as possible. They are also an analytical person meaning they will always analyze the emotions of others. They like a home that is away from everyone and is more alone or on the private area. However, they can often feel that their emotions are too much or that people do not understand them and do not feel this depth as they do. They connect best with water moons because only they will understand their emotionally complex nature.

Sagittarius moon-are optimistic, funny and like to tell jokes. There are people who will always want to put you in a good mood and do their best to make you feel good. They connect emotionally with someone through experience, travel, adventure and wisdom. They like to have a philosophy of life and search for meaning. Their emotions show through optimism. Although they act independently, they are actually looking for someone who will make them feel at home. Someone who will fulfill them emotionally. They feel alienated in their own home and many times they move out of their country. They are looking for someone who will bring meaning to their lives (a sense of what to live for and show them the way). They are emotionally impulsive and can also be jealous. Sagittarius often have the feeling that they are alone or that they can be alone and go through something alone, but in reality they just need someone who will give them the feeling that there is a whole world for them. Someone who will make them feel that they are not alone. They hide a lot of their emotions with humor and people don't even notice. This moon does not have such a big ego.

Capricorn moon-are emotionally stable and focused on peace and a stable relationship. Many times their emotions can be well focused. Especially when it comes to learning, work, they have a great focus on it. Usually when they end a relationship or any situation makes them sad, they put their emotions to work and want to distance themselves as much as possible from what they really feel. Their emotions can often be cold, but they are very non-judgmental people, they will always accept the emotions of another person, but they rarely react to it. They always have to process their emotions within themselves before they can share them with others. They trust very few people and tend to be closed off when it comes to expressing emotions unless they feel they can express things.

Aquarius moon- are attached to their friends and friendships mean a lot to them emotionally. They don't like groups so much, they prefer to focus on one person because they quickly feel alienated or like they don't belong in that group. Especially in a family, they can feel aloof, unwanted and invisible. They are much more emotional than people would think. They like to have fun and make fools of themselves. They like people who make them feel like it's okay to be weird and different. They can quickly become emotionally isolated and often feel that way among people. For them, home represents something unique and their own. They are independent and are looking for a person who is similar to them. They may also tend to operate as an outsider or lone wolf, preferring to maintain a detached view that is only possible from the outskirts. They feel very different from the environment in which they grow up. The outsider experience is felt at a very early age.

Pisces moon-these are the people who will always bring you some snacks or be emotionally there for you. Always there to comfort you and help you. They are emotionally sensitive and pick up a lot of energy from others, so they are also quickly exhausted. They have a lot of empathy for others and want to understand and feel the people around them. They are also emotionally shy and change how they feel quickly.They express their feelings most easily through art. They are emotional and quickly take a lot to heart emotionally. They show their love in a very selfless way, but they can also be manipulative if they see that the person does not return the same feelings. They are also incredibly caring, and their loved ones know they can always rely on them for a sympathetic ear, a warm hug, and an encouraging pep talk when they're going through a tough time. They are naturally escapist and they might distract themselves by diving into movies, books, music, fanfiction, etc.

-Rebekah🌊🌶️☁️

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #my notes #astrological houses #moon signs

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canthelpit0 · 2 days

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Silent

Pairing: Matt x reader

Wordcount: 1.8k +

Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…

Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc

(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)

I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.

But it’s been years now.

I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.

Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.

It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.

It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.

There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.

Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.

The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.

Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.

In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.

Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.

He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.

I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.

I’ve been watching everyone.

Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.

Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.

I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.

But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.

Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?

I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.

There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.

I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.

Her son is apparently mute too.

When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.

Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.

So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.

Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.

I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.

She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.

I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.

I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.

I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.

Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.

I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.

I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-

Suddenly I bump into someone.

I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-

I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.

“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.

“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.

I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.

So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.

It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.

I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.

He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.

“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.

I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.

I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.

He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.

I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.

Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.

“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.

I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.

Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.

Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.

I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.

“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.

I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.

His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.

Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.

He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.

I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.

“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.

He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.

“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.

And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?

The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.

So I nod.

I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.

And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…

Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.

We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.

“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.

I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.

I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.

Masterlist

A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life

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mrsparrasblog · 1 day

Text

You're losing me pt. 5

prev. part. first part.

TW: Gun, violence, mentioned rape, gaslighting, medic is shit

It was your last day on sick leave, so you spent it grading papers, cuddling with Winston, and getting distracted by Kyle's messages and his slutty pictures. You were so thankful for Kyle; he never pressed you for what happened with Johnny, just distracted you.

After you send a picture of Winston you heard the bell ringing and rolled your eyes. You knew Kyle never listened when you said not to come over, even though you really needed that time alone right now. Johnny is an artist, even though he didn't admit it, and so was being in a relationship with him. It was like being in a colorful picture, so vibrant. But since you left him, it felt like someone drained out the color; the painting is black and white, no longer golden.

You went to the door, opened it, and to your surprise, it wasn’t Kyle behind the door. She was there, her eyes puffy and red.

"What do you want?" If she was there to humiliate you, you’re going to throw up. You shortly texted Ky that she was there.

"I wanted to talk to you, I need your help," she sobbed.

Simon always called you one of the nicest people on earth, but right now, it was enough of being nice. "Well, you can ask Johnny for help." You tried to shut your door, but her foot was already between the frame.

"He is the problem."

"What, did he leave you?" you snorted out.

"He threatened to kill me because of the baby." You clearly misheard her. This can't be true, as if you can do anything against Johnny, and as if Johnny would do something against his own teammate.

"Baby?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant, three months." She rubs her nonexistent belly in front of you. Three months? Johnny cheated on you for three months? And a baby? No, this can't be true. Johnny loves babies; he’d never kill a pregnant woman, none of them.

"And he is threatening you?" You asked while slowly trying to pull out your phone again. You knew Si would be here in 4 minutes if you called him.

"Yes, he wants to tell everyone that I raped him, just so I get an abortion." With that, you burst out laughing. This was the worst joke you ever heard. When she wanted you to pull you away from him for real.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid to believe this shit now leave my apartment before I call the police." You already pulled out your phone to dial the number of the police, who are you kidding, dial the number of Simon. Simon and John always explained if something happens to you, call them instead of the police, they solve your problem faster, and that was a gigantic slag-formed problem.

"Bad mistake," she points out a gun to you, calculating. You trained for this situation endless times in school, but it was still different when someone held a gun against you. Would it work to tell her that there are people that love her? Or maybe you should argue with logic.

"When you kill me, they won't forgive you, it's not worth it," you said trying to sound as calm as possible.

"They won't find out," she laughed. God, that woman was batshit crazy.

"Here are cameras," they weren’t recording, but maybe she was stupid enough to believe you.

"They will understand," she said. Maybe she was stupid enough but also crazy enough to not care. There is only the last logical thing you could say to her.

"Then kill me."

"What?" She was surprised at your bluntness, but you knew she couldn’t really kill you, and if Kyle looked at his phone, he would have already been on his way, so you need to get through this for 10 minutes, 10 minutes, and you are safe.

"If you kill me, Johnny will find you, Kyle will break you, Simon will torture you, and John will finish your miserable life, my death isn’t worth this." You slowly walked backward towards the counter, there must be a gun. John put it in there when you first got together. You didn't quite know how to use it, but better than nothing.

"You're right," finally.

"So why don’t we put the gun down and just, you know, talk about it like adults," you suggested, still moving tiny steps backward.

"Stop moving, or I'll kill you," the same words over and over again. She sounded like a broken record recorder. You stopped moving, but this wasn’t enough for her.

"Maybe I should kill your rat, so you listen." Rat? Her gun pointed toward Winston. Fuck, she should better kill you than your baby. You lost complete hope in turning her; she is crazy.

"He is Kyle's dog, not mine. If you kill him, he will be sad." The shake in your voice was evident; tears started to storm out of your eyes; you didn't know what to do anymore.

"Three of four are enough, anyways." Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I can call them; I'll break up with them, just let Winston be safe, okay?"

"Really, you give up your boyfriends for that rat?" She gestured disgusted at your precious baby.

"Yes."

"Okay, call them," you walked to the counter, dialing Simon's number, close enough to the gun. You really hoped they don’t show a sign that they know; they are SAS; they need to understand, right?

"Hello," good, Simon's voice.

"Are the others with you?" You asked, trying not to tremble; she couldn’t find out what you planned.

"Yes, I put them on speaker, luv."

"I'm breaking up with you, with all of you for final this time. John, you're always putting me in danger, Johnny, you're always with her instead of my home, always on deployment with Simon, and you’re carrying all these scary guns with you that make me afraid, and I hate your stupid dog, Kyle." She looked proud and relieved at you, too stupid to realize. But they were smart, right?

"Okay, just give me back my keys to the office, they’re in the cupboard in the kitchen. I don’t want to see you anytime soon, I will pick it up at three tomorrow, bye." She gained heavily, and all you could feel was relief; you looked at the clock; it was 2:57, three minutes, and the gun. God, you loved your smart boys.

"Will you let me go now?" you asked, and she shook her head.

"Just need to make sure that you never go to my boys again, you can understand, right?"

"I'll move abroad if you want, the US, Germany, Italy, call it and I'll be gone." Before she could reply, she heard a loud bang outside, and that was your chance to grab the gun as she turned around, loaded fucking genius John, but not in safety, idiot. And then you shot, closing your eyes. You never did this before; the closest you came was a water gun at the beach; you didn't hit anything major, only her shoulder, but it was enough for her to lose her stance and fall. Seconds after, the boys went in Simon pulled her to the ground like a bulldozer with John. While Kyle and Johnny ran to you.

"Are you okay?" Both men asked, checking you for any injury.

"I don't feel okay."

"We know, love." You wrapped your arms around Johnny and began to sob. You needed him; you missed him and you were so scared. You knew for a fact he didn't cheat on you after that stunt that woman pulled today.

"We'll take care of her; we will be back soon, luv," Simon said with a devious grin while putting his boot on her to press down on her bullet wound.

John and Ghost left with her, and you knew for a fact your shot would be the nicest thing she witnessed in the next few days.

"I shot someone."

"Proud of you, hen."

"Never shoot again, please, babe; you're terrible at it," Kyle joked, but you still felt shitty. He knelt down, hugging Winston tight. "Oh, you've been such a brave and good boy protecting your mama. Let me take you to the park, pup," he said while Winston barked happily. "You two need to talk this out."

"Only we two now, Johnny."

"Aye, only we two."

"Where do we start?"

--------------------

Taglist: @cod-z , @kaoyamamegami, @postmortem-angel, @jackrabbitem , @sseleniaa , @thigh-o-saur , @littlechomper @ab12305 @darkangel4121 @thychuvaluswife

A/N : so I added the picture of Eliot to make up for the Angst I write 😭

For any who has a light belly (do you say that in english or only in German lol?) the next chapter will be half torture of her and the other half Johnny and Reader <3

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ktgoodmorning · 8 hours

Text

Goodnight, mi Tana

Aitana Bonmati x adhd!reader

This is just my experience as someone with adhd, I know I don't speak for everyone!

Masterlist

“Baby, do you realize what time it is?” You jumped at the sound of Aitana’s voice suddenly breaking you from your focus on your book. She had been gone most of the day with some friends and you hadn’t heard her come home, let alone come out to join you on the balcony. Your eyebrows furrowed because of course you didn’t know what time it was, but you weren’t sure why it mattered. You had been laying there for a while now, reading and working on your tan, just basking in the beautiful weather.

“I don’t know, three, four O’clock?”

“It’s almost eight! Have you-”

“Eight?!” You jolted up, “How the hell is it eight? I’ve been out here almost the entire day. How did I not notice?! I haven’t even eaten!”

You thought you’d been outside for maybe an hour or two, definitely not the whole day. Now you had hardly any time left to do the laundry or any of the other more “necessary” tasks that you put off until you had done some reading.

In your slightly panicked state, your girlfriend came to join you, taking both your hands in hers to break you from your thoughts and try to calm you down. “It’s okay, love. I can help you get some of that stuff done before we go to bed, and we’ll have plenty of time to finish it up tomorrow.”

You pulled your hands from her hold and roughly ran them over your face with a loud groan. “No, Aita, you don’t understand! I wasted my whole day out here and I still have so much energy because I want to do other stuff but now I need to start winding down to go to bed soon.”

Aitana was used to you sometimes getting frustrated at yourself for things like this but this was the worst you had been in awhile. It was clear you had no intention of being outside all day but once you got into your book, there was no way of stopping you. It killed her at times to see the way it affected you and how you got so angry at yourself even though you both knew you were doing your best. “Well you’ve still got time, you could start something else tonight and finish it up tomorrow?”

“No! Why would I bother starting it tonight if I can’t just finish it? If I start something else I’m gonna be up late trying to finish, there’s no point.” Your voice had inadvertently raised, something that happened quite a lot and you were both used to at this point. Your girlfriend knew not to take your yelling personally and that it wasn’t her that had you losing your patience, it was entirely yourself. She’d almost prefer if it were her fault though, because at least then she would know how to help. When it was with yourself, there was little she could do.

“Why don’t we just start by going inside and getting you some food? Then we can go from there and see what time it is.”

You gave her a slight nod and allowed her to help pull you up and lead you inside to the kitchen, motioning you to sit down while she got some food out for you. “Any requests?”

“Uggghhhh, no. Nothing sounds good, I’m not even hungry anymore.” You buried your head in your hands, resting on the table as you whined at your girlfriend who was just doing her best to help you.

“I’ll just get you a little bit of everything then, and I’ll eat whatever you don’t want. At least one of them should be okay.” Atitana was mostly talking to herself, sensing that you had hit a wall where you didn’t feel like talking much and just wanted to focus on regulating yourself. She could see your shoulders rising and falling as you took some deep breaths, but decided to keep working on getting some food together, rather than try to help you calm down right now. She kept a close eye on you while she finished making your food, wanting to make sure you didn’t get any worse. When she set the plate down in front of you, she ran her hand gently over your back to get your attention.

“Baby, what can I do for you? I really think eating will help but we could go eat on the couch instead, if you want?

You remained silent but gave her a nod as you pulled your head from your hands and tiredly looked up at her.

“Oh, baby,” she pushed some hair behind your ear, heartbroken by the helpless look on your face, “Let’s go sit down; I’ll bring your food.”

You followed her out of the kitchen, looking much like a young child who had just been woken from a nap, and laid down on the couch lazily.

“Do you want me to grab you a blanket before I sit down?” Aitana set your plate down on the coffee table and was now just looking at you expectedly, trying to figure out how to help you.

“Tana,” your voice was almost a whisper, suddenly much quieter than you normally were. “Could you just lay on me for a few minutes?”

Her previous face of worry broke into a soft smile, more than happy to fulfill your request. “If I ever say no to that, there’s something seriously wrong with me," she giggled into your neck as she gently laid down on you, both of you instantly relaxing into the contact.

Both the pressure of her on top of you, along with the sound of her laughter, helped distract you from the anxieties that had been building just moments earlier. It was like hitting control alt delete on your spiraling and making it magically disappear. Suddenly your breathing was calmer, as well as your mind, and you no longer had to worry about all the things you didn’t get done, you had all the time in the world to make sure it all got done tomorrow.

After a few minutes of just laying there, both at peace with where you were at, the Catalan woman’s head popped up to look at you. “Think you’re ready to eat some food?” Her persistence made you smile. She obviously knew that food would help you feel better but didn’t want to push too hard to get you there.

“Si. Food sounds like a good idea.” Aitana rolled off of you and passed you the plate she had made up, full of a variety of different foods. She knew how picky you got when you were in a bad mood so she made sure there were plenty of things that were always safe bets. “Gracias, Tana. This is perfect,” you leaned over to give her a short kiss, “You know me too well.”

She brushed it off with a small shrug and kissed you again before you started digging into the food in front of you. “Don’t feel like you have to eat it all, I’ll finish anything you don’t want. Then maybe when you’re done you can shower and get changed, and then we’ll put on a movie or something?”

You groaned, mouth still full of food. “I don’t want to shower, it feels like so much work.”

“What if I say I’ll join you?” You quirked an eyebrow at her, trying to see if she was serious. “I’m not saying anything’s gonna happen, I’m too tired for that. But I’ll still join you if you want?” Your girlfriend watched you continue to shove food in your mouth while you contemplated her offer.

“If you’re joining, then I’m in.” Her eyes lit up instantly now that she knew her plan would work, just smiling at you and cuddling into your shoulder as you finished your food. Knowing you didn’t like sitting in silence for long, she filled you in on her day and her time with her friends, getting you caught up on everyone’s lives. You normally didn’t like to sit and listen to people without chiming in yourself, but with Aitana, you could do it all day long if you could. Something about the way she would break into little giggles and looked so bright when she talked about the things she loved, just made your heart full.

You hadn’t even noticed you had just finished the last of your food until she pointed it out to you because you had been far too focused on listening to her story. “Baby, I’ll take your plate, if you go get in the shower. I’ll come join you in a minute, yes?” You responded with a kiss before getting up and helping her up as well. Both going your separate ways until she could join you.

...

After your shower, you both got changed and brushed your teeth together before getting cuddled up under the covers of your bed.

“Do you want me to put a movie on? We don’t even have to watch, maybe we just put one on in the background while we just cuddle?”

“That sounds absolutely perfect.” You rolled into her side before she even had a chance to respond, chuckling lightly at your sudden clingy-ness. “Don’t put on anything too serious, I’m not planning on paying attention. I’ll probably end up talking through it or falling asleep anyways.” You both giggled at your words. It was true. You almost never made it through a movie and Aitana was always there to tease you about it.

You snuggled into her further, placing your head on her chest as she held you against her. “Maybe I should read a little bit before bed. I didn’t have much left in my book when you came home today, I bet I could finish it.”

“Amor, I mean this in the best way, but you have over a hundred pages left. If you even look too hard at that book, you’re gonna be up all night trying to finish it. That’s not a good idea. We have training tomorrow.”

“But Tanaaaaaa. It’s really good and I just think that I’d sleep better if I knew what happened. We only have morning training so if I’m tired I could just take a nap in the afternoon.”

“I understand you want to finish your book baby, but you aren’t pulling any more all-nighters. You need sleep, it’s not healthy.” You only responded with a pout, eyebrows furrowed together, locking eyes with her in hopes that she’d give in to you even though you both knew it wouldn’t work. You were constantly giving her this face yet she rarely gave in, especially if it was something related to your health and well-being. When she only responded with a blank stare, you dropped your head back to her chest to continue chatting.

As soon as you got comfortable again, the two of you immediately fell into conversation about anything and everything. You talked about the transfer window and all the current football news, the book you had been reading and all your thoughts on it, truly everything that popped in your head. Somewhere in the midst of your talking, you realized that the movie Aitana had put on in the background was actually somewhat interesting, making you split your attention between it and your conversation.

“Baby! Are you even listening?” she tickled your side lightly as a way of bringing your attention back to her.

“I’m sorry, Tana!” You giggled into her neck, hugging your arms around her tightly. “I was trying to listen but look, the movie actually got kinda good!”

“You never get through entire movies! And now when we finally get smart and put on a boring one you suddenly pay attention?!” She wasn’t actually mad at you, the huge smile on her face made that incredibly clear. You just beamed back at her. The two of you probably looked ridiculous as you both smiled at each other from ear to ear, saying nothing while the movie continued in the background.

“Aita, you should really pay attention, it’s good!” Your girlfriend rolled her eyes at you before following your attention back up to the television. The two of you managed to snuggle even closer together, if that was even possible. You still talked here and there when you thought of anything but were mostly focused on the movie.

It wasn’t long until you felt Aitana’s breaths evening out underneath you. When you lifted your head to look up at her, you found her sleeping peacefully, clearly exhausted from her busy day. You moved slowly in hopes of not waking her up, trying to reach for the TV remote to turn it off and go to bed. Of course the second you moved though, her eyes fluttered open and a look of confusion crossed her face.

“What are you doing, baby? I’m watching!” Her accent was thicker than usual, giving away her little nap no matter how much she wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. The way she pretended to hide the fact that she was falling asleep just so you could finish the movie made you smile. She was always doing things like this, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for it.

“Aita you’re falling asleep. We can finish it tomorrow night, it’s okay. Let’s go to bed.”

“No! No, I’m not falling asleep!”

“Okay, well I’ll just turn it off anyways and we can keep chatting.” Your girlfriend rolled her eyes at you, obviously knowing what you were up to, but still getting further settled under the blankets. You reached over to turn off the lights and plug in your phone before you ended up laying face to face with Aitana. Your legs were tangled together in the sheets and the two of you were just looking at each other, sharing a soft smile. Her eyes were wide open now that she had woken from her little nap, but you couldn’t decide if she was actually feeling that awake or if she was just trying to hide the fact that for once, she was the one who drifted off during a movie and not you.

“We should really be sleeping right now, Tana. We have early training tomorrow and we both know you like getting to bed early.” You could function just fine with little to no sleep, or at least you liked to think so, but Aitana was a different story. She was much more strict on her sleep routine and would definitely feel it if there was a change to it.

“I know…” she trailed off, going quiet for a moment. “… wait! Remember what Ingrid was telling us about their anniversary coming up?”

“Oh my god, yes! Do you think she’s actually gonna do it? I know Mapi would love another cat but I just can’t see Ingrid going through with it! Can you?!”

And there you were. Both exhausted, both needing to be up early in the morning, both excitedly gossiping about your best friends. This was normal for you but normally you were the one who started it and kept you both up later than you planned, not your girlfriend.

It was obvious that Aitana wasn’t used to being up this late when her accent became harder for you to understand and her words started slurring together. It slowly became an intertwined mix of English, Spanish, and Catalan that you had no hopes of comprehending.

“But Bagheera is su bebé, así que tal vez no want someone else para robar la atención and maybe- wait why are you laughing at me?”

“Tana, you’re half asleep and making no sense. You’re not even gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, I really think you should go to sleep.”

“I’m not even tired, though.” her grumbling was hardly audible as you just shook your head at her, amused by the reversal of your typical roles.

“Okay well I’m gonna go to sleep, you can keep talking if you want, okay?” her only response was an incoherent mumble as you curled up into her side and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Goodnight, mi Tana. I love you.”

I really like my other adhd!reader one better but we'll see. I don't love this one. I wouldn't be shocked if I still do more like this though.

Requests are always encouraged! I'm starting to run low on ideas lately!

Masterlist

#wosoreading24/7 #wosoreadingaitana #barcelona femeni #aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati imagine #aitana bonmati x reader #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #espwnt x reader

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haikyu-mp4 · 3 days

Text

Safehouse

word count; 1497 – gn!reader

Atsumu didn't usually let things bother him for too long. He knew he always did his best in volleyball and he did his best to be a good friend and teammate even though he’s got an ‘unlikeable personality’ as Kiyoomi would phrase it.

But sometimes, it’s just a little too much for him to process, too many missed serves or spikes and petty disagreements, and there was just one place his mind goes to when that happened. His brother.

More specifically, he would go to Onigiri Miya, where Osamu seemed to spend most of his time trying to make the business go ‘round. That’s why he’s storming in this particular Thursday evening, brushing past you with a quick hello before opening the door to the backroom and rushing in.

You stood there, a bit startled with surprise as you chuckled under your breath. Working at Onigiri Miya had so far been your favourite job ever, and that came with seeing Atsumu ever so often.

After about 5 minutes, Atsumu came back out while you were serving an order with your service smile plastered on. As you walked back to the counter, you found the twin looking around for something before his eyes met you. It might have just been a trick of your eye, but it looked like his usually bright eyes were a bit teary. “Hey, Atsumu. Can I help you with anything?” you asked him.

“Have you seen my brother? Looks kinda like me but ugly,” he said with a cheeky smirk, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes like usual. You laughed anyway, shaking your head before grabbing a cloth to clean the counter.

“I think I know who you mean, but he’s out. There was a delivery issue so he decided to go get it himself,” you explained, glancing up at Atsumu from time to time while working. Thursdays weren’t that busy. He was fiddling with his hands now as you put the cloth away after finishing the clean-up like he was struggling with what to do with this new information. Since he didn’t really answer you, you stopped in front of him and tried to meet his eyes. “Is there something wrong, love?”

You were similar to Osamu in many ways, at least Atsumu thought so. With your warmth and kind smile, he harboured some kind of crush on you ever since he met you on your second day working there. “Do you have some… food?” he asked, voice nearly cracking. You patted his shoulder and nodded, walking past him into the kitchen.

“I think I might find some, yeah.” This made him breathe out a short laugh, sitting down on a bar stool so he could be closer to you. “I’ll get your favourite going, I asked Samu about it once,” you said, hands already working while you glanced up at the restaurant to keep an eye on the customers as well.

Atsumu finally smiled again, if only a little. “You asked him?”

“Making food is my love language,” you said, looking down at the food again so he couldn’t see your red cheeks. Atsumu hadn’t felt his chest fill with this kind of warmth since he last visited his mother, and boy did it feel good on that particularly shitty day. He leaned on his hand on the counter, eyes observing you while you made him food. To show him love.

You didn’t start too much conversation, assuming Atsumu would talk to you if he felt like it, but for now, he seemed content watching you work and asking how your day had been. In the end, he seemed a bit lighter by the time you put his food in front of him, but it still didn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you so much, y/n. I really needed this,” he said, mouth already filled with food.

“My pleasure. Professional athletes have bad days too, I guess,” you sighed, hinting that you were there if he wanted to talk.

Atsumu nodded and kept stuffing his mouth, mind going back to his high school team and their banner. “Luckily, there is always tomorrow.”

You laughed more genuinely this time, patting his shoulder as you passed to serve a table who asked to order more. “There is always tomorrow.”

By the time you came back after delivering their new order, Atsumu had finished his onigiri and you could feel his eyes following you again. You raised an eyebrow, taking the plate from in front of him and waiting for whatever lay on the tip of his tongue. “Speaking of tomorrow, how about a date?” he asked, speaking quicker than usual so by the time you registered his words, the plate slipped from your hands and crumbled to the floor in broken pieces. “Shit.”

You shook your head to rid of the fluster, squatting down quickly to pick up the pieces. Your cheeks flushed as Atsumu hurried around the counter to bend down and help you. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why-” you tried to laugh it off, finally about to tell him that yes, you would love to go on a date with him when the wonderful sound of your boss’ voice rang through the kitchen.

“Y/n? Did ‘Tsumu stop by?” And because both of you were called, Atsumu accidentally knocked his head into yours, making him drop all the pieces of porcelain to caress your head. However, you were already off balance so he ended up just pushing you backwards and falling with you, landing unceremoniously on top of you and scraping the pieces of the broken plate along the floor.

“I’m so sorry!” he said, the tone of his dialect even more prominent. And at the perfect moment, Osamu walked in. You were having such a moment, what happened? you thought to yourself, while Atsumu’s head was echoing stupid Samu.

“What the hell is going on here?” your boss asked, making the two of you look at him with surprise as if you didn’t already know he was there.

“This is not what it looks like!” Atsumu yelled, making Osamu look over his shoulder with an apologetic smile at the customers out in the restaurant.

“He knows that, idiot, just get off me,” you laughed, pushing his shoulders to help him up. He scrambled to his feet, finally managing to bend down and pick up the biggest pieces of the broken plate with scattered rice that was now sticking to the floor in some places.

Osamu had already gotten to work, letting the two of you settle yourself and smirking to himself as he imagined how much his brother made a fool of himself. While Atsumu was throwing away the pieces, you quickly got the mop out to clean the floor of rice and smaller pieces, finally getting it all into the dustpan and then the trash. You sighed, using your hand to fan your face, which was red from the quick work and how hot the room suddenly was. Should I turn the air conditioner on lower?

Your boss passed by you with a certain look you couldn’t quite read, but it made you squint at him with suspicion. Then you looked past his shoulder, at sweet, clumsy Atsumu who was back in the high chair with his hands intertwined on the counter in front of him like he never hurt a fly. Okay, maybe you knew why Osamu was looking at you like that even though he was being uncharacteristically silent about it.

While Osamu swiftly moved around to cover his half of work and then some, you took the opportunity to stand in front of his twin again with your hands out in front of you like you were bracing yourself for a surprise impact. “Yes.”

Atsumu stared at you with a blank look, but at least he didn’t look as dejected as he did earlier. Guess you knocked some sense into him with your head. “Yes?” he repeated, a bit lost.

“I’ll work out my schedule with Osamu and you can pick me up tomorrow,” you clarified, picking up one of the business cards that sat by the till, and quickly jotting down your number. “Text me for the address.”

His eyes lit up with that mischievous spark you liked so much that was missing when he came here, standing up from the chair and clutching the little piece of paper as he turned around to the restaurant. “Samu! She needs off tomorrow evening!” he yelled, making you shush him. When did that ever stop Atsumu?

Osamu just turned back to the customer he was standing closest to, seemingly apologising for his brother’s behaviour again while said brother turned back to you like he just solved all your problems. You shook your head with an affectionate smile before going back in the kitchen, waving him off. “Idiot. Now leave before he gets back, unless you’d like our first date to be in the hospital.”

masterlist

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flemingsfreckles · 24 hours

Text

Physio’s Daughter Pt 8

Read the other 7 parts HERE

Warnings: cursing, suggestions to sex, mentions of throwing up, that should be it!

WC: 4.8k

A/N: hello 👋

“Really? You still have interest?” Jessie looks baffled, her eyes wide with raised eyebrows.

“Oh don’t act so surprised, you saw me staring earlier.”

“Yeah I did.” She smiles, thinking back to how she had intentionally wiped her forehead while facing in your direction. She was more than pleased with herself when she put back down her shirt to see you had been watching.

“Look, you said terrible things, and if anything even remotely close to that happens again, I will never speak to you again. But Jessie I really like you. I want to give you a second chance even though maybe I shouldn’t but I’d like to believe what you and Janine both said is true. This isn’t your typical behavior, you’re just under a lot of pressure.”

“I promise I’m not usually like this.”

“I know, that’s why I like you. But that’s also why this is so frustrating and why the other night hurt me so much. I know you’re not usually like this, I know how kind and caring and sweet you are. And if it wasn’t for all this, the fact that we work together, in this dynamic, I would’ve asked you out on a proper date weeks ago.” It’s true, if you haven’t worked with her, if you’d met her at school, at a cafe, just walking down the street, you would’ve already taken her out. You would’ve asked her on dates, but you couldn’t, not when you worked together.

“Then fuck all this,” she gestures to the room and the Canada logo on her own training top. “Just ask anyway.”

“I don’t want to get you or myself in trouble.” You look at the logo on her shirt, it wasn’t that easy to just say fuck it to the team, the team Jessie had represented since she was 15.

“We can talk to whoever we need to.” She spits out.

“Oh be for real Jessie we haven��t even gone on a date, we don’t need to be in Helen’s office signing paperwork already.” You give her a smile, it was nice she was willing to talk to Helen but a little too early.

A smile breaks on Jessie’s face. “Okay, maybe that was a little premature.” The smile from her face fades as she speaks again. “So, maybe we go with the original plan? Wait until these games are over, see where we’re at?”

You nod in agreement. “But for now, coworkers.”

“Coworkers.” Jessie repeats looking at you before a mischievous smile comes across her face.

“What?” You ask, somewhat afraid of what her answer might be.

“This is I think the third time we’ve agreed to be coworkers.” She scoffs.

“No, this time I’m serious.” You do your best to give her a stern look.

“You said that last time.” She laughs

“Shut up.” You can’t help but laugh with her, you two were terrible at being coworkers.

“At least it’s only a few more days and one more game.” She says softly after she’s done giggling.

“Only one more game.”

You quickly found yourself getting ready for that final game. The reality that you were helping prep players for an Olympic gold medal match had you a little extra nervous. Canada was taking on Spain. Reigning World Cup Champions Spain.

The first 90’ minutes of the game felt like they went by in a blink. When the whistle blew the score remained 0-0. Both teams had good shots, both keepers making impressive saves.

The extra time came and went as well and suddenly you felt like you were back a few days ago.

Penalties. Again.

You watch the first few players step up. Julia makes her penalty 1-0, a Spain player makes her’s as well, 1-1. Feeling overwhelmed, you stare at the ground for the next few players. You watch your feet, you don’t even need to watch. You can hear the silence followed by the kick and you get the answer on save or miss through the reactions of the staff standing next to you. Chloe misses, 1-1, Spain makes theirs 1-2, Jordyn makes it 2-2, a player from Spain misses 2-2, Ashley makes her kick, and the Spanish player misses wide, 3-2.

You feel a quick pinch at your side where your Mom’s hand was resting around your waist. You look up to her and she subtly nods toward the field. You turn and watch as Jessie picks up the ball. You can practically feel the air get sucked out of your lungs. She was taking Canada’s fifth and final kick. If she makes it, it’s over. If she misses, Spain has the chance to tie.

You watch her meticulously place the ball, adjusting it a few times. Once she’s satisfied with the ball, she takes three steps back, and looks down, closing her eyes for a moment. You held your breath, beginning to subconsciously time how long she was waiting. You started to panic, feeling like you could puke, it felt like she was waiting too long again, or maybe it just felt like time had frozen. Jessie opened her eyes, and began her approach. She kicked it and you watched as the ball slammed against the back of the net.

You’re practically yanked onto the field by those around you, you’re not even sure where you were running besides the mass of red and white in front of you. You end up in the mob of bodies, receiving random hugs from whoever was around you. You kept your eyes scanning hoping to find Jessie, her height not helping her stand out. You also know she’s likely in the middle of the mass of her teammates, scoring the winning penalty.

As the initial celebration dies down, the players begin to spread out. Some find their families in the crowd, others moving to sit and soak in the moment. You keep your eyes scanning, hoping to find the girl with the armband.

While you’re busy spinning in circles looking for her, someone grabs your hand from behind.

“Come here.” The captain had found you before you could find her. Jessie grabs your hand, pulling you out and away from the crowd. The two of you move over to the side of the pitch, not far off from her teammates but enough to be in your own space. She turns you toward her, dropping your hand.

“I thought about you.” She says, tears in her eyes, her hands holding your face between them, her thumbs gently rubbing your cheeks. “I thought about you when I took that kick. You were my calm person.”

“I almost threw up.” You admit to her.

“What?” Jessie says, a mix of concern and a smile across her face. Her hands are still on your cheeks.

“I was so nervous watching you kick.”

“Oh.” She laughs. “You’re the reason I wasn’t nervous.” You’re grateful Jessie was able to quickly move past the fact that you had almost thrown up from nerves, embarrassed that you even said it to her.

“Congratulations, you deserve it Jessie.” You say, finally getting out the words you prepared and meant to say when you first saw her.

“I wouldn’t have been here without you, you deserve this too.” Her eyes are still locked with yours. You both stand listening to the rest of the team celebrate behind you. You both break eye contact hearing some screaming getting louder.

“Wooooooooo” you watch as Janine goes running by, a flag in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other hand with Jordyn and Julia following shortly behind her yelling to give them back the bottle. You watch as Jessie rolls her eyes at her teammate’s behavior. You both turn back toward each other. This time Jessie’s eyes move down to your lips, then to your eyes and back to your lips. She moves her head slightly toward you.

“Jessie.” You warn her, you don’t want her to stop but you want to remind her that you’re both standing in a packed stadium with hundreds of cameras taking photos.

“Who cares.” She whispers before she starts to lean in again. You start to close your own eyes, not leaning in, wanting this to be her choice to kiss you in front of her team, her coaches, her family that was likely here.

“Congratulations Jessie.” You hear a voice you know all too well to the side of you. One of your Mom’s hands coming down on your shoulder while the other comes down on Jessie’s shoulder. You feel a slight push back on you, breaking up how close you and Jessie were.

Jessie’s hands fall from your face as she turns to look at your Mom.

“Oh, um, thank you, hey congratulations to you too, none of us would be here without all your hard work.”

“Thank you Jessie, assuming you were just thanking my daughter as well?” Your Mom gives you a quick glance, you know she’s teasing both of you, Jessie doesn’t get the message, trying to explain herself.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, she’s been great, um obviously, with my injury of course, my calf, she helped me a lot. I was thanking her for all that.” The way Jessie starts to stutter, tripping over her words as she tries to subtly deny the fact that she was about to kiss you, it was cute. You’re sure if she wasn’t already red in the face from playing, her cheeks would be from embarrassment.

“Hey if I don’t see you again before you players go out tonight, be safe, look out for each other.”

“We will.” Jessie assures your Mom before she walks away leaving you two again.

“She really has impeccable timing doesn’t she.” Jessie looks at you.

“She does.” You say before muttering “cockblock” under your breath only it comes out a little bit louder than you expected.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

You both stand for a second, your chance to kiss clearly over as you’ve both been brought back to reality of standing in the stadium, Jessie’s teammates still running around. You watch as she scans the crowd before her head stops moving and she waves.

“There’s my family.” She points in the direction she waved in and you see a small group of people waving back at her.

“Go.” You shove her in their direction and she looks at you giving you one last smile before taking off running in their direction. You watch her, looking at the back of her jersey as she runs away to be pulled into a group hug. You turn back to go find the rest of the staff, giving your congratulations to whoever you passed in a Canada shirt as they did the same back to you.

The stadium is soon only filled with a sea of red, the Spain supporters leaving. The podiums are brought out at you watch as they begin to set up for the medal ceremony.

The team is quickly ushered back into the changing rooms put on their designated podium outfits. They quickly come back out, lining up to step up and receive their medals.

You stand off to the side, watching as France steps onto the bronze medal platform, followed by Spain. And then you watch as the Canadian team steps up. You can’t help but feel tears in your eyes, watching the girls that you’ve been working with for countless days helping at training, at matches, helping them stretch on the bus or in a hotel room, all those moments, all they had worked for and they did it. You watched as they got their medals Jessie receiving hers from Janine and putting one around Sabrina’s neck.

You watched as Jessie picked up the medal around her neck, examining it with her hands, flipping it around. You watch as Janine leans over, saying something into Jessie’s ear, Jessie immediately picking up her head and looking in your direction. She gives you a smile when her eyes meet yours. Janine must’ve noticed you staring and told her. You give her a thumbs up before they begin playing all the national anthems.

Once the ceremony is finished you stand around a bit longer, watching all the players soak in the moment together. You find yourself catching Jessie’s eye every once in a while until she finally makes her way over to you.

“You’re coming out with us, right?” She slings an arm around your shoulder.

“Tonight?”

“Obviously, we’re going to go celebrate, we’ve got a bar rented out.” You had heard discussions of the post game celebrations, but never really read into them too much, you didn’t want to get too ahead of yourself thinking they’d win, it felt like you’d jinx them.

“I don’t want to intrude, if it’s a player thing.”

“It’s not, everyone’s invited, coaches, staff, families, everyone.” Jessie turns so her lips are against your ear. “Plus, I want you to be there.” She says quietly. You feel your skin prickle at her low voice and the feeling of her breath on your body.

You stumble over your own words as you agree to meet them at the bar later, your brain short circuiting from the feeling of her lips against your ear. “Oh, then yeah I’ll be there.”

You quickly found yourself a couple drinks in, courtesy of the Canadian foundation, in a rather large, but dark bar. Loud music and conversation filling the air. You had only arrived about an hour ago, thankfully it was within walking distance from the hotel. You had gone back and changed into a nicer pair of gray jeans and a simple Canada sweatshirt. Since you opted to change you did not arrive at the same time as Jessie, you had been unable to find her since arriving. You felt like you were back searching for her on the field after the match. Most of the players had remained in their sweatsuits, some changing into other t-shirts, sweatpants. You had found just about every other player, who all led you astray in which direction they last saw their captain.

You make your way back to the bar to get another drink, deciding you’ll just go sit with Olivia and the rest of the staff at the table they had occupied.

“Hey, where have you been?” You feel hands grab tightly onto your hips and you turn to see the brown eyes you’ve been looking for.

“Hi, I changed.” You gesture down to the fact that you were no longer wearing athletic clothing like you did while at work. “but I’ve been here an hour or so, I’ve been running around looking for you.”

“I’ve been looking for you.” Her eyes graze over your body. “You look good.” You can smell the alcohol radiating off of Jessie you’re not sure if it’s alcohol she’s consumed or if it’s just a mix of the champagne that was sprayed across her skin in celebration along with the smell of the bar. Her hands are still firm on your hips. “Come here.” She gently tugs you away from the bar.

“Hang on, let me grab this.” You reach for the beer the bartender had placed in front of you and then let yourself be pulled away.

She moves to grab your free hand instead and keeps pulling you, through the mass of red and white, back to the back corner of the bar and into a small hallway.

“Where are we going?” You ask when she finally stops walking.

“Here, where it’s just you and me.” Her hands find their way back to your hips and she pushes you back so you’re against the cool brick wall. “So we can do this.”

Her hand comes up to your cheek as it did after the game, but this time it doesn’t stop at your cheek she keeps moving it to the back of your neck, gently pulling you toward her and she moves in. This kiss was different than the rest, the rest had been timid, soft, gentle. This kiss was firm, her lips starting to move against yours immediately, its only a few seconds before you feel her tongue against your lips. You part your lips and let your own tongue graze against hers. You get the answer to your earlier question as you can taste the tequila and what you think is vodka on her tongue. The taste has you pulling back.

“Hey.” Jessie protests, a frown across her face.

“Are you drunk?” You put your hand without the beer against her chest, holding her back from leaning in to kiss you again.

“What?” She cooks her head at you.

“Are you just making out with me because you’re drunk? I can taste the liquor.”

“No you idiot, I mean yes I’ve been drinking, but I’m not drunk, plus I’ve wanted to makeout with you for weeks.”

“Okay but we’re in public. You team could see.” It’s not that you don’t believe her when she says she’s not drunk, it’s just you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy with her choices to suddenly makeout with you in a bar, knowing she had definitely consumed something.

“I don’t care.”

“Jessie, no.” You step away from her..

“What? Oh come on? Because I’ve had three drinks? How many have you had?” She posed a fair question, she had had just as many drinks of you but you had been at the bar for far less time, if anyone was the problem here it would’ve been you.

“I just think you’re not fully considering the consequences of making out with me in a public bar. When you’re sober, we can do this.”

She leans down close to you and you think she’s going to kiss you again, but she brings her mouth toward your ear. “Okay, then I’m done drinking because I want to makeout with you. I promise I’m not drunk, not even tipsy, but if you want to wait that’s fine.”

“Okay.” You reply and Jessie turns walking back into the room. You follow her and watch as she makes her way to the bar, when she turns back she has two bottles of water in her hands.

“You should drink if you want to drink, it’s your night to celebrate.” You say when she comes over to your side, shaking one of the bottles of water at you. You don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t celebrate.

“No, I’m not a big drinker anyway, I had already decided to be done, I just got peer pressured into some shots with some of the youngsters when I first got here.” She takes a large sip of water.

“Jessie.” Your conversation is interrupted by hearing someone call from behind you and a girl runs up to her followed by two other men and a woman.

“Hi! Oh I’ve miss you.” Jessie takes the girl into a tight hug before releasing her and moving onto the next person hugging the next person.

“We’re so proud of you honey!”

“Thanks Mom.” Jessie mutters into the women’s hug. That's when you’re able to make the connection, this was Jessie’s family standing in front of you.

“This is my family, my mom, dad, sister and brother.” She points to each person. She introduced her family to you. She starts explaining how you’ve helped her with her injuries, and how you help everyone with stretching and staying healthy. She’s singing your praises to her family, making you blush standing next to her.

You stick around for a couple minutes as Jessie continues to talk about you. Not wanting to force her family to listen to stories about you, you tell Jessie you’ll be over at a table and leave her to enjoy the moment with her family.

You slide into a booth next to Janine and a few other people you didn’t know, assumed friends and family of the team. It doesn't take long for Janine to bring up the topic of Jessie.

“Just so you know,” Janine claps her hand hard against your back, giving you a slight shake. She leans in close to you. “I’m spending tonight, and probably the rest of the nights we’re here in his hotel room.” She points at the man next to you who now you recognize from photos to be her fiancé. “So there won’t be someone else in Jessie’s room.” You pull back to just look at her, you couldn’t believe what she was implying.

Janine must’ve thought you didn’t understand what she was suggesting when you didn’t respond. “Ya know, if you and a certain someone want to-”

“I know what you meant!” You spit out quickly. Taking a sip of the water you had. Upon your snappy response Janine quickly changed the subject, eying up the medal around her neck again, showing it to her fiancé.

It wasn’t long before you felt the booth sag next to you and Jessie alone with her sister found themselves next to you in the booth.

“Elysse!” Janine exclaims reaching over you and Jessie to attempt to hug the girl. Both of them leaning in pushes you and Jessie practically into each others laps.

“Sorry.” You apologize to Jessie, it wasn’t your fault but you felt like you were squishing her.

“All good.” She gives you a sweet smile before returning to her own personal space as Janine removes herself from across you two.

“Hey.” she slaps Jessie’s leg getting her attention. “I just finished telling this one that-” You almost go to cover Janine’s mouth with your hand. You know she’s been drinking and you also knew what was about to come out of her mouth. But you don’t stop her, instead you tilt your head down clenching your eyes hoping it’ll stop Janine’s words, only it doesn’t. “I’ll be in Ethan’s hotel room the rest of the trip, if you want to use it.”

“Oh.” You can feel Jessie’s eyes burning into the side of your head as you slowly open your eyes and send a pointed look in Janine’s direction.

“What?” She says, reading the uncomfortable looks you and Jessie were both giving her. “Oh what, do you two really think you’re doing such a good job of keeping it secret? You were practically making bedroom eyes at each other during the medal ceremony today.”

“Janine!” Jessie shouts at her friend before just shaking her head. You finally have the courage to take a glance at Jessie, her eyes are wide, she looks uncomfortable, you can also see her sister behind her looking between you and Jessie, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Alright, it might be time to get you out of here.” Janine’s fiancé says, grabbing Janine’s hand as he stood up. He gives a quick wave at the table, half as an apology, half as a goodbye. You all wave back to him and Janine and they walk into the mass of people.

You sat for a little bit longer, some teammates coming to join your table for a few minutes to chat before they’d run off to talk with someone else. It was only an hour later that Jessie’s Dad found his way to the table. “Jess, we’re going to get out of here, it’s late and we’re not young anymore, we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah of course.” Jessie responds, she smacks your leg a few times then pointing to the side of you. You get the hint and stand up to let her out of the table. You watch as she stands up giving her Dad a tight hug.

“Coming now or later?” Her Dad looks at Jessie’s sister.

“Now, just give me a second to use the restroom.” She nods and her Dad walks away after they agree to meet outside.

“I don’t have to pee, I just wanted him to walk away. You two enjoy your night without Janine.” She says with a wink and a look between the two of you. You look over to Jessie who’s sporting a blushed red face. Her sister stands up to hug her and whispers something into Jessie’s ear, making her turn even more red. She gives you a quick wave and heads in the direction of the door.

“I think I’m going to call it a night too, feeling tired.” You say, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the day hit you all at once. A yawn coming out of your mouth.

“I was actually thinking the same thing.” Jessie flashes you a smile. “Would you want to walk together?” You’re not sure if Jessie actually was ready to go or just decided she was going to leave since you were.

“That would be nice.” You take the empty water bottle from her hand and toss it onto the bin with yours. “Do you need to say bye to anyone?” Jessie just shakes her head.

“Do you?” You shake your head back. Your Mom had gone out with some of the older training staff, not wanting to be in a rowdy bar, Olivia was still around but you’d text her later letting her know you were back in your room. You’re not sure even if you said goodbye to anyone if they’d remember it in the morning or not.

The night was quiet when you stepped outside of the bar, Jessie shortly behind you. You start walking in the direction of the hotel and she quickly jogs to catch up. The two of you walk side by side down the roadway.

“Does it feel different the second time?” You break the silence asking.

“Does what feel different?” Her pace slows down as she turns her head to look at you.

“Winning gold.”

You hear her breathe in and then watch as she tilts her head slightly, deep in thought.

“It’s different, but I’m not sure if it's the winning that’s different. Last time it was an empty stadium, we didn’t get to do the celebrations with family and friends, there weren’t people watching, it felt so isolated, but it was in a weird way more peaceful. We got to just sit on the field, really soak it in.” She took another breath. “We didn’t get to do that, even if we could’ve there would’ve been fans, it would’ve been rowdy. Not to say one is better than the other, but yeah it’s different. I also wasn’t captain last time, so this time was more stressful, I felt like a lot of it was on me. Even though I know it wasn’t, it just felt that way.”

You hum acknowledging her answer as you walk into the lobby of the hotel. It’s thankfully pretty empty, Jessie's teammates still out celebrating and only a few other country’s athletes sitting around. You both get into the elevator, you press the button and you can feel a tension building as you ride up in silence. When you get out you walk Jessie to her door first, wanting to be polite and make sure she gets in alright.

“I’m sorry if Janine made it weird earlier. I'm not sure why she said that. I mean I get it but, I don’t want you to think I told her that was going to happen or anything. I don’t expect it to.” Jessie turns before she puts her keycard to the door.

“It’s all good. Little uncomfortable, especially with your sister there but it’s alright.” You shrug. It was uncomfortable but you didn’t mind too much, you had already forgotten about the conversation until Jessie brought it up again.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll have to explain myself to her later, she thought it was funny, she teased me for how red I got.”

“Yeah.” You both stand awkwardly outside of Jessie’s hotel room, you shift your weight between your feet, swaying slightly.

“Um, do you want to-”

“Have a goodnight-”

You both speak at the same time.

“Go ahead.” She gestures to you.

“I was just going to say goodnight.” You didn’t want to invite yourself into her hotel room despite Janine’s offer.

“Oh, yeah okay.” You can tell she seems a little disappointed.

“What were you saying?”

“I was going to invite you in?” Jessie looks up at you, her eyes with a glimmer of hope in them. She blinks quickly a few times before adding “Only if you want to, you don’t have to, I’m not expecting anything, you don’t even have to stay very long if you don’t want to, I just thought,”

“Jessie.” You cut her off, able to tell she was starting to overthink by the way her hands were fidgeting. “I’d like to come in.” You say before you lean down, now it’s her back pressed against the wall as your lips find hers. You pull away before any of her teammates or god forbid your mother decides to take a trip down the hallway and sees you two. Jessie turns to unlock the door and you follow her inside. You pull your phone out quickly texting Olivia.

You: Probably not coming back to the room at all tonight, or if I do it’ll be late, don’t worry about me I’m safe.

It takes a minute but she responds.

Olivia: Thanks for the heads up, I expect all the details of your escapades tomorrow

Olivia: seriously though, be safe, don’t do anything stupid.

You look up from your phone over at Jessie, thinking to yourself at least if you “do” anything, it wasn’t considered doing anything stupid, Jessie was smart.

#jessie fleming #jflem #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #canwnt x reader #jessie fleming blurb

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paisleypens · 2 days

Note

Hello! I hope you’re having a good day. I heard you were taking requests so I have an idea!!

How about a Spencer Reid x Fem!shy!reader who is really quiet around the team? And so she doesn’t talk to them much? (Especially Spencer because she likes him!)

So to show her love/affection she does small things for him but doesn’t admit she was the one who did so. (Like making his coffee, secretly organizing his desk, like little kind things)

I want the confession to happen but I don’t know how I want it so you can decide! Have a little fun with it if you will.

I hope you can write this, and I’m so so sorry if it’s something you don’t want to write or feel uncomfortable with it. I just wanted to give you an idea for a story! Let me know if you don’t want to or if you will either way is fine with me!

I’m sorry if I didn’t include enough details and thank you for taking the time to read this!

Have a lovely day. 💕

(ALSO I READ YOUR OTHER SPENCER STORIES THEY WERE SPECTACULAR)

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH STOP IT MOST POLITE ASK EVERRR

this is genius btw and ive been writing so much to avoid things i actually have to do so… THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME LMAO

acts of service | spencer reid x f!reader

let me know what you think <33

~~~~

The BAU office buzzed with its usual energy as Spencer Reid meticulously poured over case files, his mind racing through complex connections only he could decipher. Among the team, a shy figure often went unnoticed, working hard behind the scenes. Y/N, the quiet and reserved member of the team, kept to herself, her actions speaking volumes that words couldn't describe.

Spencer often found his desk mysteriously tidied up, papers organized, and his favorite pens neatly arranged. Coffee appeared magically beside his laptop, always sickeningly sweet, just how he liked it. At first, he attributed it to the office fairy, a playful term Morgan coined. However, as time passed and the small acts of service continued, Spencer couldn't ignore the pattern.

One evening, as the team gathered after a long day, Derek leaned back in his chair, eyes glinting with mischief. "Hey, pretty boy, you ever notice how Y/N here keeps your world in order without saying a word?"

"What do you mean?" Spencer furrowed his brow, glancing at her, who was discreetly arranging files nearby.

Derek chuckled, nudging Spencer. "Come on, Reid. The coffee, the desk, all those little things. It's like having a secret admirer right under your nose."

Spencer's gaze softened as realization dawned on him. He watched you for a moment, noticing the slight blush that dusted her cheeks as she worked. In that moment, he saw beyond the quiet demeanor, understanding the depth of these silent gestures.

The next morning, Spencer arrived at the office earlier than usual, a determined gleam in his eyes. He set about making coffee, meticulously following Y/N’s routine, ensuring every detail was perfect. As she entered, surprised to see him there, he offered a shy smile, holding out a mug of freshly brewed coffee.

"Morning," he greeted softly, his usually fast-paced words slowed by a newfound nervousness.

Y/N blinked in astonishment, taking the mug from his outstretched hand. "Th-thank you, Spencer.”

He nodded, his cheeks tinged with pink. "I just wanted to say... I appreciate everything you do. Your actions speak louder than words, and they haven't gone unnoticed, I just hope you meant it in the way I interpreted it."

A smile bloomed on her face, warmth spreading through her chest. Finally feeling understood, she replied, "I like you too, Spencer. And not just for the coffee."

From that day forward, Spencer and Y/N shared more than just a quiet understanding. Silent acts of love were now met with drawn out conversation and reciprocated gestures, creating a bond that spoke volumes even when rooted in the absence of sound.

#criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #paisleypens

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worldofkuro · 3 days

Text

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XVII

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: What can I say on this chapter. A little bit of racism and killing envy. But I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, I don't think this is my best ... I don't really know how to feel about this chapter.

“ Of all the spirits, Alastor, all the spirits, why did you choose this one to work with?” asked Marie as he took her son's ear between her fingers. You couldn't help but snicker behind your hand at the scene. It was something Marie used to do when Alastor was younger, when he would upset you she would pinched lightly his ears while sermoning him.

“ Well, you have never talked to me about it.. So I did it my way.” Alastor said with an amused smile, bending so his mother could keep her grip on his ear.

“ Oh mon dieu…I didn’t teach you because I didn’t think you needed to know about it.” she sighed before sitting down on the sofa. She looked at you with a worried expression. “ Are you okay, sweetie? Working with spirit can be very tiring even more if they don’t accept you.”

“ Well… I’m not working with them yet.” you smiled nervously, explaining to Marie everything that happened so far. She grimaced when you told how John forced you to awake from your trance while you were talking with Papa Legba.

“ I see. This is… surprising, I won’t lie, I didn’t expect it.”

“ I thought I was going crazy.” you chuckled as Alastor sat next to you, taking your hand in his. “ Even if I'm still… not sure about everything, I want to give it a try.”

Marie looked at her son, her face serious.

“ You can’t see him , Alastor?”

“ I could sense him when she was talking to herself in the mirror, moments ago, or when she was sitting with him on the bench. But if not for her eyes, I would have just thought she was sleepwalking.”

Marie was looking at you both, it seemed like she was thinking about what you just told her. You bit your lips, you didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask but you needed to know.

“ Marie, are… are you still working with spirits?” you asked. You saw her eyes twitch, even if she could easily hide her emotions, you were used to Alastor’s facial expression. Marie was easier to read than you remember…

“ Why are you asking?”

“ He told me you used to work with a spirit called: Gran Bwa. And… We saw him when we went into the forest. He told me he was disguised as deer…”

You looked at Marie as she sighed, she seemed so tired.

“ Yes, I’m still working with some spirits. Grand Bwa is the protector of wildlife, and doesn't like to be seen. Because Alastor’s father would force him to follow him into the woods, I was so scared something would happen to him.. So I asked for his help… For you to be safe in those woods.”

You felt Alastor’s grip on your hand tightened. His smile was still present as he was looking intensely at his mother, but you could feel he was agitated.

“ Mother, I am still not as experienced as you, but I’m safe in those woods now. Our biggest threat is gone. Don’t tire yourself.” he smiled at her before standing up. “ Matter of fact, let me bring me something to eat.”

You let Alastor’s hand go after he kissed you on the forehead before going into the kitchen. You stood up and walked toward Marie, before kneeling in front of her, taking her shaking hands in yours.

“ Marie, If I have decided to work with spirits, it’s because I want to protect Alastor. You’ve been doing it perfectly for years, please, as your future daughter in law, let me help you.” you stared at her, trying to convey all of your sincerity. You meant every word. Now that her husband has been slayed, nothing would come to disturbed the peace in this house. Alastor and yourself would make sure of that.

“ Ahh.. You have such pretty eyes, sweetie. Since the first time I saw you, your eyes have always been so pure, vivid and bright. I’m happy they didn’t change, I’m happy that, no matter what has happened, you are still as bright as when you first entered this house.” she leaned toward you, kissing you on the forehead. “ Take care of Alastor…”

You stayed at Marie’s house all morning. She was teaching you how to maintain your connection with spirits so next time you would meet Papa Legba, you wouldn’t be asleep. You would be able to be in the living world, talking with the people and using what the spirits would be giving you.

Marie has told you, you couldn’t use the spirit’s power if you were feeling emotions too strongly. You needed to be rooted into the present, you needed to be concentrating on the link that bound you with the spirits you were calling for. You would have to try meditation, unlike Alastor who always was in control, you were the kind to let your emotion go freely as they pleased.

“ Let’s try it, okay sweetie? First, you need to close your eyes, maybe I’ll be easier.” you nodded,looking one last time at Alastor who was watching you with curiosity and an encouraging smile. You closed your eyes. She made you stand up, keeping your hands in hers. “ Alright, do you feel the warmth of my hands? Perfect. Now, I want you to imagine vines that come from the ground. Slowly, they wrap around your ankles, moving toward your waist, then they cling to your vertebral column until you feel them in your head.”

You breathed slowly, focusing on your feet. You tried to imagine the vines wrapping themselves around you but you were just met with silence. You tried to remember what you felt when Papa Legba came to meet you. You felt… warm. You tried again, this time imagining a warm thread coming from the ground, moving around your ankle. You felt your body relax as Marie kept your hands in hers.

You could feel your body getting warmer and warmer. You wondered if you were doing good.

You are doing great, little lady.

You kept your eyes closed as Papa Legba’s voice surrounded you. You felt like he was all around you even inside you, like you ate something too hot and you could still feel it in your body.

Seems like you are a natural. Congratulations are in order.

You tried to nod but you felt like your body was made of stone, you couldn’t move a muscle. It was kind of claustrophobic.

No worries. It’s normal, I’m possessing you.

You felt your heartbeat increase slowly but you needed to be calm, or the connection would break and you didn’t want to end up like last time, when John forced you out of your trance.

Now, what kind of spirits do you need ?

Wait..? Was he asking what kind of power you wanted?

Exactly, let’s see if you can handle it… You wanted power to protect, wasn’t it.

You felt your mouth open, without your accord, and you spoke in a language you have never heard before. What were you saying?

This is where I go. Remember, you can’t keep the spirit forever, it needs to come back to his realm, I’ll keep the passage open for it. And for your energy, I wouldn’t recommend you to use it for too long. See you next time, little lady, and thank Marie for the rooster.

You felt the warmth leaving your body. You waited a few seconds before opening your eyes slowly. You were met with Alastor’s face, who was stroking your cheeks with a fond expression.

“ You are beautiful.”

You tilted your head against his hand, sighing in relief. You made it back. You looked around, noticing that Marie wasn’t there anymore.

“ What happened ?”

“ Well, you stayed like this for 10 minutes.” he looked at his watch with an excited grin. “ I thought you were asleep but you said something and then you came back with beautiful red eyes.”

You went toward a mirror and stared at your reflection. Alastor was right, your eyes were red just like earlier this morning. You turned around, trying to see what might look different.

“ I… He said I’ll have a spirit power but I don’t feel anything right now.” you looked back at Alastor who was looking at you with a big grin. “ What?”

“ I can’t admire you now?” he came toward you with a teasing expression. You smiled when you saw him lean toward you. You smirked, you wanted to keep him away from you, to tease. You held your hand in front of him sticking your tongue at him but before you could do anything, Alastor’s hand hit an invisible surface in front of you. “ What..?”

You put your hand on the invisible surface which was keeping you from Alastor. Wait.. You could feel warmth in your eyes. You closed your eyes, trying to make it go away, it wasn’t really comfortable.

You felt Alastor’s hand on your shoulder as you rubbed your eyes, trying to erase the feeling behind your eyes.

“ Oh, is she okay Alastor?”

“ Yes and I think you should come and see what she just did.”

You felt Alastor backing away as you opened your eyes once again, feeling the warmth once more. You looked at Marie as she had a dead rooster in her hand. She was looking at your eyes.

“ Rouge… C’est sa couleur après tout..”

You looked at your hand. What was that..? Did you… Did you make a shield? You held your hand once again feeling your eyes burning, you could almost feel tears. Alastor took a pillow from the sofa and threw it at you, the pillow hitting the invisible force that was surrounding you. You looked at the pillows then Alastor who was grinning so hard you felt like his face was going to break because of how big his smile was.

“I’m… I’m really impressed. How are you feeling?” asked Marie, her eyes wide open.

“ My eyes are killing me.” you chuckled nervously. You wondered if you could conjure your shield around Alastor, that would be more useful than around yourself. Did that mean you’ll have to be around him to make it work or ,like Marie used to, you could ask a spirit to do it for you?

You closed your eyes once more. You didn’t know if the spirit could hear you but you think it was enough magic for today. You didn’t want to be exhausted.

“ Thank you, you can go back now.”

You waited a few seconds before you felt cold. You opened your eyes, looking at Marie and Alastor. You looked at your reflection in the mirror and sighed in relief when you saw your eyes, the same color as usual. You turned around but were met with a pillow in the face. Alastor has just thrown another pillow at you.

“ I’m not sorry Darling, I just wanted to see if you were unshielded.” he smirked as you took the pillow from the ground.

“ You knew that! My eyes aren’t red anymore!”

“ I just wanted to make sure. And that’s your punishment, how could you create a barrier between the two of us?” he walked toward you with a smile that made you believe he wasn’t completely joking.

“ Alastor! And you call yourself a gentleman?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, making a surprised face. He leaned toward your ear and whispered.

“ You know I can be worse.” he bit your ears making you flush and turn your eyes toward Marie but the woman was already busy with something else. “ But you’ll keep being at my side, right?”

You kissed his cheek before leaning toward his ears.

“ Death wouldn’t be able to tear us apart, Alastor.” you whispered, feeling a shiver of delight when you heard him gasp at your words. You stepped back with a teasing smirk as he stared at you with a wide smile.

“ Your eyes are red.”

“ What?” you turned your back to him to look at yourself in the mirror but your eyes were their usual color. “ You liar–!” you squealed when you felt Alastor’s teeth sinking into your neck, making you grip his hair. You felt him suck on your skin, making you moan lightly. You blushed when you saw your reflection staring back at you, you tried to turn your head but Alastor held your chin with his finger, forcing you to look at yourself.

“ Look at us.”

“ Alastor..” you whispered. “ your mother isn’t far..”

“ Look at us.” he said once more, his deep slick voice making you feel warm. You look at your reflection as Alastor kept kissing, biting, sucking on your skin. You were staring at him, the way he was staring back at you as he held your body possessively against him was making you lightheaded. “ Don’t ever… think about putting that shield of yours against us, do you hear me?”

You tried to contain the giddy sensation you were feeling. You tilted your head back as you felt his hand taking hold on your neck, not squeezing it, just putting his hand on your neck.

“ What if I do it again..?” you whispered. You shivered when you heard him chuckling darkly.

“ You’ll see it for yourself.”

You were so going to use this shield once more.

—

“ And you didn’t want to tell because..?”

You looked at Alice, who was laying on her bed under multiple blankets. After your morning training with Marie you decided to see Alice. After all, last time you saw her, you told her you were a murderer, so was your husband, you were ready to kill again and furthermore you had a weird episode making you say that someone was digging Alastor’s father from his grave, you needed to explain yourself.

“ Alice, did you really think I was going to come to you and say: Oh guess what, I killed a disgusting pig today. What would you have said?”

“ Want to kill another one?” she giggled, making you sigh with a smile.

“ Alice…”

“ Sorry. I.. I would have been surprised, I won’t lie. I’m still am. But, you did it because he hurted Alastor right? I feel like you killed him because you wanted to protect someone not for your own enjoyment which I would not say the same for Alastor. I knew he was twisted, I’ve told you !” she sat up, holding a pillow against her chest. “ I should have made a fucking bet.”

“ You aren’t.. scared of him?”

“ There will be a cold day in hell before this man makes me feel any kind of emotion but anger and disgust.”

You laughed as you shook your head. Both of them were so full of themselves they couldn’t see how similar they could be. You sat on a chair, next to her bed. Because of what happened, Alice said to her father that she was feeling very sick and that she couldn't get out.

It was Alastor’s plan, Alice needed to stay at home while he would stalk your new prey. Alice wasn’t happy with that, she was scared the man would show the picture of her and Alyzée kissing but Alastor reassured her. That type of man is the kind to think he already won. He was feeling superior by trapping Alice like this, so he would be patient without being aware you were making a plan to eviscerate him.

“I know Alastor doesn’t want me to know your plan but… Do you think I could come before you kill him?” you almost broke your neck as you heard Alice’s question. “ Don’t look at me like that! I just want him to know you are coming from me.”

“ Don’t worry, I’ll send him your regards.” you mocked her with a fond smile. “ Now, Alastor and I will be going to your cottage to make the perfect plan, no one will be there, right?”

“ No one is ever there! That’s why I want you to buy it.” she sighed deeply, falling into her bed once more like the dramatic person she was. “ But yes, don’t worry, nobody will hear your.. plan to kill my pig.”

You smiled behind your hand, you were excited to go back to the cottage, it was yours and Alastor’s sacred place in a way.

You stood up but froze when you felt a shiver going down your spine, your vision getting blurry. You sat back down, closing your eyes. Did you stand up too quickly? Maybe you needed to eat a lot of sugar, to Alastor’s disgust.

You heard footsteps and once again a shovel going into the grounds. Were you having another vision? You tried to see something, but you could only hear. You could hear a dog barking and a man telling him to shut it.

Fuck, was someone once again trying to dig up Alastor’s father?

You opened your eyes in shock. Alice was looking at you, her hand not too far from your shoulder.

“ Are you okay, doll?”

“ I’m doing just fine.. I… I need to go but we will see each other Monday, I promise.” you hugged her quickly and ran out of the room. You waved at the butler and ran out in the busy streets.

Damn it, damn, damn it !

Alastor was working right now, you didn’t have the time to tell him, you would go alone this time and immediately. You ran as fast as you could toward Marie’s place, which took you about 25 minutes. You were breathing hard, running in heels wasn’t your best idea but who cared right now. You entered the woods, looking for footprints which you easily found. You followed them even if you knew where you were supposed to go.

As you approached you could hear a dog barking. You stopped walking, hiding behind a tree. Should you invoke a spirit, in case you needed to fight..? It was too risky, you didn’t know if you could maintain the link with the spirit if you were to fight. You would have to go the hard way.

You took a deep breath and walked toward the man who had his back turned to you, digging into the hole where Alastor’s father was hidden. The dog stopped barking as he saw you and wagged his tail happily. You remembered him, you know whose dog it was.

“ John.”

The man froze before turning his head toward you. It was John. He stared at you before going out of the hole.

“ What are you doing here?”

“ I could ask you the same question. Why would a lady like yourself be deep in the forest, all alone?”

“ Maybe because you are on my husband's property.” you spat at him. “ Should I call a policeman to take you back home?”

“He is not your husband yet.” He showed you his badge. “ I’m working with your father on the disappearance of Alastor’s father. You should thank me.” he smirked before looking at you, you could see fondness in his eyes which disgusted you.

“ Then, why are you wasting your time here?” you needed to calm down. No need to stress. John wouldn’t find anything here.

“ Well, I think Alastor has something to do with his father’s disappearance.”

“ You’re so obsessed with us it makes you look stupid.”

“ Come on, Alastor is not a man to be wed to! You know that, sweetheart, and I’ll prove it to you! He must have put a spell on you or something ! Black people and their magic voodoo shit!” he spat, tugging at his hair. You stepped back, since when John was like that. He sighed before going back into the hole. “ But if you are so sure of Alastor’s innocence, why don’t you come and help me?”

You approached him as he took his shovel and started digging. How would you kill him while making it look like an accident? You would have to take care of the dog too… You stared at John’s back. How should you kill him? How? How? How?

“ Well, what do we have here?” he put the shovel next to your feet as he kneeled, taking something from the ground.

You could take the shovel and hit him until he wouldn’t be moving anymore. He already dug his own grave, it just needed his body. You crouched slowly, moving your hand toward the shovel, keeping your eyes on John.

“ The fuck? Is that a fucking deer ?”

…

What?

You frowned before looking in the hole and gasped. Underneath John was a dead deer. You put your hand on your nose, the smell being too much for you. You took a few steps back as the dog started barking at the dead animal.

What was going on? You couldn’t smell anything but the deer’s corpse right now. Where was Alastor’s father’s corpse ? Did Alastor come back here to move it ? No, he wouldn’t have the time.

You watched as John went out of the hole, seeming agitated. You tried to hide your smile, relieved.

“ So, John, did you find what you were looking for ?” you asked, tilting your head. He looked at you, frowning. “ Because, as I’m aware, you need a warrant to be on someone’s property, which you don’t seem to have.” your smile grew wider as you saw John’s expression turned sour. You had him. “ So, I’ll ask you gently to get out of my husband’s property.”

“ He isn’t your husband yet!” he shouted.

“ He will !” you screamed back. “ I will accept him in front of our friends, in front of God.” you smirked as you saw his face flushed from anger. “ And there is nothing you can do about it.”

“ He won’t have you. He won–”

“ He already had me.”

You stared at his face. He seemed paler than seconds ago. He was looking at you, his eyes wide open.

“ What… What do you mean?”

“ He already had me. Right here actually.” you showed the place where John was standing, making him stumble back. “ I accepted him in the deepest part of me.”

“ Stop…”

“ All I had to do was lay there as he tasted me…”

“ Stop..!”

“ As he made me his.”

“ Stop !” he shouted tugging at his hair, his eyes looking at anywhere but you. “ Look at what he has done to you ! He turned you into some kind of harlot…! But it’s okay, I would still take you as my wife.” he smiled at you as he held his hand toward your direction. “You’ll live a life by my side as a proper lady.”

You approached him, looking at his smile grew wider. You slapped his hands away before hissing at his face.

“ Listen to me one last time. Alastor shall be my husband, no one is going to change that fact. I will be his wife, tending to all his needs. If he wants me as a slut, I’ll be the best whore New Orleans has never seen, but it will be for his eyes only. Only for him. I will be his wife, I’ll bring his child into this world with pure joy and pride.” you stared at him coldly as he looked at you, seeming afraid. “ This body of mine was his before you even knew your so-called feelings for me.” you frowned as you saw him looking at your body with envy and jealousy.

Oh.

Of course, he was jealous of Alastor. You almost rolled your eyes at him.

“ This body is marked as his. Inside and out.” you stared at him, hoping he would finally get the message.

“ Inside..?” he stared at you, blushing.

“ I told you, didn't I? He took me just here, and I’m known to be greedy right? I wanted all of him, so I accepted his seeds inside of me.” you gasped as he took you by the shoulders. His face was so close, you could see in his eyes how excited your last sentence made him feel. What was he…?

“ Don’t bear his failed children, why would you stay with him when you could have a perfect life with me?”

“ A perfect life with you?” you roared a laugh, tilting your head back. How pathetic this man was ready to be ? “ I already have everything I need, do not worry.” you put your hand around his throat, you could feel yourself buzzing with energy. “ But I dare you to try and take my happiness away, I’ll make your life a never ending hell.” you were smiling at him, with a big grin even though your eyes weren’t blinking anymore, just staring at him.

“ You almost look like him..” he said, whispering. “ But I’ll show you, he is nothing more but a monster. And no matter how hard you are fighting right now, when you see I was right, I’ll accept you. “

You could strangle him right now. Your hands were around his throat, you could just kill him. You could push his body with the deer, nobody would find out.

You took a step back, staring at his eyes.

“ I shall never be yours, not as long as I breathe. Now, leave before I lose what’s left of my sanity.” You stared at him as he took his shovel and his dog before leaving, after giving you one last look.

As Alice said, if you were to kill, it was to protect someone or something. If killing John meant protecting Alastor and your relation with him, then you’ll have to dig another hole for him to fall into.

You stayed there for a long time, thinking about John, the dead deer and Alastor. First, you needed to go back home to prepare your things for this weekend in the cottage. You would explain everything to Alastor once you are safely hidden from the rest of the world. You went back home, not running this time. You were walking, taking your time, thinking about a plan.

When you arrived at your place, you hugged your father who seemed so tired, it made you feel guilty.

“ How is my princess doing ?”

“ I’m doing great… Dad, why is John on Alastor’s father’s case?”

“ Well, you weren’t supposed to know but John made it into the police. He succeeded and got his diploma. He has always been an intelligent fella… But it seems like you aren’t friends anymore, am I wrong?”

“ Let’s just say that the farest he is from me, the better.” you sighed before looking at your father. “ So, he has three months to find something or I can get married?” you watched your father nod. “ He should be careful, we never know, an accident can come so easily…” you whispered before going into the bathroom. You undressed and filled the tub with hot water. You slid into it, sighing with bliss.

You played with the water, thinking about John. He was an obstacle… After taking care of Alice’s problems, you’ll have to take care of another.

You didn’t notice your image in the water, showing your reflection with a big smile and deep crimson eyes.

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