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#like Hector was two steps away from being that too they both came from such similar situations
chibishortdeath · 1 month
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Disgusting creature (begins sobbing)
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blackjackkent · 6 months
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Aylin and Isobel are chilling together in a corner of the camp. Of the post-Act 2 convos this is the one I'm most interested in. Because let's be real, Shadowheart needs some answers, and she needs them yesterday.
And she is here to demand them.
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"What do you know about me? You spoke of my past, being chased by wolves. I told no one about that..." Her eyes flick to Hector for a fraction of a second. "Almost no one. But I certainly didn't share that with you."
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Aylin looks at her with that peculiar otherwordly intensity which seems to be her default state. "There is nothing I can tell you that you do not already know yourself," she says. "They trained you well, trained you hard. Chiselled away any part of you that did not fit their plan. They made you forget."
Shadowheart's eyes flare defensively. "I chose to do that," she snaps. "For the mission. To protect Shar's--"
"--secrets. Yes, yes," Aylin says calmly. "That is an old song, girl. Your goddess cares more for her precious secrets than she does her devotees."
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"Get to the point," Shadowheart snaps, shifting uncomfortably.
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"When you freed me," Aylin says, "you severed a bond between me and that dog, Thorm. A bond of pain - his, inflicted on me. When I laid eyes on you, I sensed a similar bond. You, tethered to two others, someplace distant. Let me help you remember."
Hector is standing off to the side, listening to this conversation; he is concerned for Shadowheart, but it is not his business to interfere. So he's surprised when he suddenly feels the tadpole in his head squirm eagerly, still a strange sensation even after all these months.
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Narrator: You feel Shadowheart's mind tug at the edges of your own. You know this sensation. She wants you to see whatever is about to be revealed.
He blinks, startled, and a wave of unexpected warmth rushes through him. He and Shadowheart have had their share of quarrels in the time they've traveled together, but he has always been concerned for her well-being, and she wants him here for this, present with her, as a support for whatever is to come.
It means more to him than he suspects he will ever be able to say out loud.
Open your mind to that sensation.
Narrator: Your mind joins with Shadowheart's. Something pulls at you both, bringing you elsewhere...
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They are back in the memory Shadowheart showed him once before. The young girl lost in the woods. The wolf with its slavering jaws. The Sharrans closing ranks around her, protecting her...
Only this time it is different. The wolf is not a wolf...but a man.
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Where the wolf stood previously in the dream is now a fallen elf with deep black hair, surrounded by the Sharrans with their spears drawn, cutting him off from the girl. One of them strikes a blow across his head and he falls still.
And the girl, her eyes full of fear, is led by one of the cloaked figures back into the dark.
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Narrator: You remember that it is a common rite amongst Selune's followers to send their children off into the woods to find their way home. Perhaps this time it had gone awry. It seems that one child never came back. She was taken.
The vision clears, and Hector finds himself staring at Shadowheart, who has gone even paler than normal.
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"What... who was that man?" she whispers.
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"You already know," Aylin says gently. "Did you not see yourself in him? Do you not recognize your own blood?"
Shadowheart swallows. Almost without realizing it, she reaches out, gripping one hand on Hector's forearm to steady herself. "My father?" she says faintly. "That was him?"
"That *is* him," Aylin corrects her. "He lives still. And your mother too."
Shadowheart begins to shake her head desperately. "No. It can't be. I'm an orphan."
"And who told you that?" The sentence snaps out of Aylin like a burst of thunder, a roll of drums - a call to action. "Your adoptive family?" She shakes her head in answer. "You are not to blame. You were young, impressionable. They took you because they wanted to break and remake you." She steps forward, puts a hand on Shadowheart's shoulder and stares into her eyes intently. "But you are a child no longer. You are a woman. One who knows what must be done."
Shadowheart hesitates. Her back straightens a little, her shoulders stiffening. She looks towards Hector, and he can see the lost look in her eyes warring with something that might be determination - or hope. "My parents. I... need to save them..."
It would be very easy to crow over her in this moment. To point out the ascendency of the Moonmaiden over Shar, that Shadowheart herself was born a Selunite. But he would never, in a thousand years, say such a thing. She knows; she sees the situation as clearly as he does, and has had no time to process it.
"I'll help," is all he says. Because of course he will. There is no question of it.
He can see the way the gesture of support takes hold in her. She smiles, just slightly, and her jaw sets with more assurance.
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"Your parents are with your abductors," Aylin says crisply. "You will need to return to their lair. But be warned. You may have once thought of them as comrades, mentors, friends, even lovers. They will all be enemies now."
She tilts her head thoughtfully at the younger woman. "You have been forewarned for what its to come. But not yet forearmed."
Her hands twist before her in some sort of divine incantation, and a spear sizzles into being in her grip.
Not just a spear, actually. The spear - the Spear of Night which Shadowheart tossed aside at the moment of her betrayal of Shar.
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Observe silently.
"The Spear..." Shadowheart murmurs. "How do you have it? I threw it into the Shadowfell."
Aylin smiles, without humor. "Shar is quick to discard whatever she has no use for. I think you know that well enough. But I felt it call to me as I took flight. Whatever Shar calls her own, Selune has equal claim to. They are one and the same. Their power is matched, and mirrored."
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She holds out the spear to Shadowheart, the pale glow of moonlight shimmering through the handle around her fingers. "Take it; you will find it useful. What you do with it - that will be up to you. Same as before."
"I'll... need every advantage, it seems," Shadowheart says cautiously. "Thank you."
"A debt repaid," Aylin says gravely. "You returned my life unto me. Now go and claim your own."
As Shadowheart's fingers close over the haft of the spear, there's a bright flash of light over the back of her hand, and she flinches, cries out softly with the pain. "Nngh. It hurts..."
Hector scowls tightly. Even now, Shar still seeks to crack the whip over her, after everything that has happened?
Aylin looks towards him, and he sees his disgust mirrored in the aasimar's face. "Shar torments you still," she says quietly to Shadowheart, and there's a ripple of anger under the words now. "What a spiteful creature she is. This will not stop until you take action. See that your parents' sacrifices are not in vain. Allow the Moonmaiden to guide you at last."
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sweet-vanilla-sims · 8 months
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Year 1625
TW/CW: Death, Infant Death, Child Death
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Whatever good feelings the end of 1624 had brought with it was quickly replaced with worry and uncertainty as plague began to spread like wildfire. The only ones of the household who were unconcerned were the children who were far too young to understand what that would mean.
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While family to the West were falling to the plague news first reached Francisco's ears that Frideswide had been in an accident on stage and had sadly died. Adrian couldn't believe that she had passed from an accident when the plague was ravaging the world.
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The brothers did their best to move on from their dear elder sister's death by giving more attention to the children, Osana, in particular. Something about holding the small girl made it easier to just focus on the ones still with them. Especially as news of more deaths came in. Including that of Frideswide and Aurelio's son, Hector, that April.
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Alexis focused on the older children and cheered up the family by noting that despite the deaths some people reported marriages in Talia's tome such as Gabriella Jaleel who married into the Soto family.
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Though in May, Karmine received word that her step-father and step-grandfather had both passed in the plague. The fear of losing her grandmother, mother, or siblings after losing her unborn children tore at her heart and while the city was turning away new arrivals in fear of a new bout of plague, Francisco told Adrian that he and Karmine would move to Karmine's family home once they could travel there. Adrian lamented the idea of them leaving when so many were dying all around them with Parnell and Terric's deaths in the spring, but he also understood that the Carlisles weren't their only family.
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Frideswide's twins grew up into young teenagers and while Ferdinando took more after his father, the two of them managed to avoid the plague while their neighbors, the Uptons, lost two daughters in the wake of the birth of a son.
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Though the Plague did not spare the Carlisle family in Tartosa as July brought with it both Piero and Alexis catching it. Given Alexis's werewolf immune boost the family was confident that there was a chance for her to fight it off but when Piero died on July 19th, all the fight seemed to leave her following his quick funeral.
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It was of little surprise when Alexis collapsed in front of the family graves just a few short days later, the biggest surprise in Adrian's eyes was that it hadn't happened sooner. Alexis died July 27th.
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Giulia couldn't understand what had happened in a few short weeks her brother and mother had gone away. Her aunt and uncle tried to explain that they had gone to heaven to be with the Lord above but all that did was make her start asking when they'd be back to which they had no words to comfort her further only hugs.
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Osana was blissfully unaware of the goings on in the home she did miss her mother and brother but her age made it hard for her to even think too much on it. She was happy to be held by the other adults in the home so while she fussed for her mother she determined that her aunt, uncle and father were reasonable substitutes.
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Vincente was a wreck after his wife and son's passing. He barely ate and when he did come into the house from wandering God only knows where, he'd be filthy. One time even coming home singed from the storm outside. Francisco was more than concerned. Of course it was a tragedy to lose his wife and child, he had lost a child of his own but the two girls needed their father and Vincente just wasn't there.
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That being said, Francisco was more than happy and willing to give his nieces the love and affections they deserved. After the consecutive losses and the plague, he and Karmine were done actively trying again for a while yet but both him and Karmine had love to give children and their nieces were in need of parental love.
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In the midst of the losses the plague took from the world, Guglielma celebrated her thirteenth birthday. It was a muted affair what with her aunt and little brother's passing early in the year but it was a celebration in the family nonetheless. The Robles family hoped that it was a sign that their tragedy would be over for the time being.
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With it now being months since Alexis and Piero's passing, Adrian and Francisco were tired of Vincente aimlessly disappearing into the forests for days on end. It was more than just concerning. It needed to stop. It was understandable that he was hurt but hearing Osana look to Francisco and call him 'papa' was proof enough of Vincente's absence. Francisco was honored that his niece would call him that but her true father was still with them and was missing out on his living children while he mourned the dead and gone. Adrian was shocked to hear that Osana didn't seem to know her own father after the four months since her mother died but it made sense that she wouldn't since she hadn't yet reached a year, to her it was a long time. Too long. They had to do something.
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After confronting Vincente when he returned home by throwing him into the bath, Francisco and Adrian told him in no uncertain terms that it was time for Vincente to come home and stay home. He had responsibilities and it wasn't as if Francisco and Karmine were going to be around forever since they planned on moving to care for Karmine's family soon though just her grandmother as her mother remarried and left with her siblings to a new town. They couldn't leave Vincente and the girls without knowing they'd be marginally alright though. They could tell the message hadn't really sunk into Vincente but he mumbled vague promises about being home more frequently. Francisco hardly believed him but it wasn't as if he could force his brother to come back to his family. He could only hope that he'd keep his questionable dismissive word and time would mend his younger triplet's broken heart.
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husbandohunter · 3 years
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Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”
Something angsty pls? Thank you!
Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]
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Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?
(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)
Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death
(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :> 
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You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition. 
Why?
The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow. 
"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"
You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you. 
I…don't quite understand…
Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.
What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?
And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart. 
He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."
At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.
"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.
“I'm sorry.”
What is love?
Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.
I see, love is conditional.
Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted.  Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies. 
They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.
Unconditional love only exists in dreams.
Or so you thought to believe.
One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.
Red eyes.
It was the first time that someone had looked your way.
Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled. 
Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow. 
"My, how pleasantly surprising."
While the other part was stained with black cinders.
You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.
"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"
He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"
"And if I may ask why?"
"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."
You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"
"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."
"You know my name?"
"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."
He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."
“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."
You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."
"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine." 
"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"
Why am I telling him this?
"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."
"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.
"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."
"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."
"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."
"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."
"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."
Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.
"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."
A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."
Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."
When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.
Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…
A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.
Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),
I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.
Bien à vous,
H.
"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."
And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.
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It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.
"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.
"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"
"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"
You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"
"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"
"Ah!"
Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"
"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."
You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."
"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."
The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.
"Go on. I'm listening."
And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.
From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.
"Will you write to me again?"
The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."
Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.
You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart. 
The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own  fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.
Anything.
"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."
Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.
"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."
"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."
"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."
But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers. 
"No!"
"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."
"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.
"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."
"Clement you don't understand!"  Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"
Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.
"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!" 
"Tch."
An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.
"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"
While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass. 
"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"
I can't live without him.
I can't live without him.
I can't live without him.
Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life. 
And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.
-------
"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.
"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"
"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"
"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."
Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.
Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.
He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger. 
Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.
"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."
"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"
Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"
A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."
"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."
Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?
Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.
"Are you scared?"
Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.
You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."
"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."
-----------
The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.
Ha. Serves him right.
Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.
With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.
"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."
Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?
As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.
Was it worth it?
You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted. 
The inheritance.
Their attention.
But most of all, him.
And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize  you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort. 
"You're nothing without me."
Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.
"G-hka--k..-"
"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"
You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.
"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."
His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.
Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom.  That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.
Because you would do anything for him.
You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.
Right?
Please come back.
Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence. 
Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.
Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie. 
"Come back to me…Hector."
Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.
A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.
Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.
Worthless. It's who I am.
And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.
(Crack).
Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.
(Crack. Crack).
But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?
(Crack).
Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.
Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.
It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.
"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"
Everything was worthless.
You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.
There was only one thing left to do. 
------
"Ugh, where is it?!"
It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.
"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"
Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.
"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."
Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-
An intruder!
Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.
"What in the abyss...?!"
Except it wasn't dark.
"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."
Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!
"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."
"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."
The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.
"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."
It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.
Hector.
Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."
"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.
"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"
"Enough."
Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.
"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."
As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"
Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."
Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.
"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."
"...What do you mean?"
You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.
"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.
" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.
The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"
Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.
"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”
Just like how you broke me.
Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.
Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.
Ah, this cannot be death.
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the-darklings · 3 years
Text
—𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆;
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—PART XVIII. | THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
pairing: john wick x f!reader x santino d’antonio
word count: 36.2k+ (honk, honk, honk x 2)
summary: “You’re just a little tragedy, aren’t you?”
warnings: swearing, strong violence, blood, likely some emotional damage to readers inbound
notes: I waited for this chapter for a very, very long time and been laying the foundation for 250k. Lets begin. 
children of ares series: 01 | …. | 16 | 17 | . . | 19 |
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Sometimes he genuinely wonders how many poor decisions led him here.
To this exact moment in time. To this exact set of circumstances.
“I wish to see him.”
Winston tilts his head at the cool demand, not letting any outwards reaction slip.
The Adjudicator stares him down like the request should have been fulfilled yesterday. He’s not, admittedly, used to people making such demands. Especially not so brazenly. And inside his own hotel no less.
He gazes at them for a beat before nodding his head stagily.
“Forgive me and my old age,” he begins calmly. “But who exactly do you wish to see? The chef perhaps?”
He knows perfectly well who the Adjudicator wants to see. Judging by the slight, annoyed pinch of their mouth so do they. Charon stands a step behind the High Table’s associate and his expression is as professionally cool as always. In truth, however, they are both wary at best.
“You know of whom I speak,” the Adjudicator snips, their voice that calm, almost robotic cold. “Santino D’Antonio was shot at this hotel, was he not? Mr Wick fired the shot but the bullet failed to kill him. To our knowledge, he is still in your care. Or is that incorrect?”
Keep him safe.
Such a simple request. A request to keep a man he barely tolerates on a good day shielded from other sharks. For once, Winston wishes you cared about yourself as much as you do about others.  
You, Santino, John—you’re all I have. I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t.
Sometimes—often—the memory of those words worries him. Truly. Wild, relentless drive and desperation rarely mix well together. The former you have plenty of and the latter has been mounting too rapidly for his liking.
Silencing his thoughts, Winston tilts his head in an accommodating manner. Conjuring an innocent expression, he nods his head for what feels like the hundredth time in the last hour alone.
“Ah, yes, Mr D’Antonio. Tragic, truly, but the Vipress saved his life,” he explains smoothly, watching the individual before him with the same shrewdness the Adjudicator is watching him. “Rather heroically, too. Quite surprising that the Table did not see her actions as such.”
The Adjudicator’s eyes narrow. From their spot on the office chair, the Table’s representative regards him with disinterested, yet vexed expression. Clearly, his approach of talking circles and giving half-answers about your and Johnathan’s whereabouts has not left a good impression.
That’s exactly the point though.
“The woman known to us as the Vipress had plenty of chances to stop Mr Wick,” the Adjudicator answers; an expected explanation, a pitiless one, too. “She failed. Even though she is one of the few individuals realistically capable of such a feat. Therefore, under our assessment, there is nothing here to celebrate.”
Winston turns, lowering his whiskey glass back onto the table. He leans back towards it, completely relaxed, his palms resting against the edges of the smooth wood.
“Loyalty,” he muses lightly, letting the word hang in the air for a bit. “Such rarity nowadays, would you not agree? It is rather difficult to stay neutral when you have an emotional investment in both parties caught in the conflict.”
The Adjudicator stands at that, their willowy frame stretching to their full height. Little sympathy can be found in their stony expression. “Only loyalty to the High Table should matter. The Vipress has shown to have very little of it. Now, Mr D’Antonio?”
He didn’t expect this to be easy. But he doesn’t let so much as a whisper of his exasperation show. Winston considers, calculating what harm could be done versus the gap of time it might buy him, hesitating for only a beat before dipping his head in agreement.
“Of course, follow me,” he says pleasantly, gesturing with his arm. “He came out of surgery several days ago.”
Over the Adjudicator’s shoulder, a faint glint of surprise shows on Charon’s face before the man blinks it away swiftly. The concierge knows better than to question outright. Old and tested loyalty lives between them. The manager always does things for a reason, and the concierge follows graciously every time because he knows as much.
The Adjudicator stalks after him silently, Charon a few steps behind them. The elevator ride down is silent and tense. No need for empty exchanges between them and neither party bothers pretending otherwise.
Only a day left on the clock. Then he’s expected to step back and leave his hotel—his legacy—behind to some stranger the Table deems worthy. The thought alone almost makes him scoff again.
The High Table can take the Continental from his cold, dead hands.
And he imagines there are at least one or two individuals who may have something to say about that.
You have contributed to the chaos, little hatchling, but what now? You can’t win this game by sacrificing your Queen.
The elevator halts with a rumble. Worn metal creaks. Winston reaches out, pulling back the metal partition. The white hallways of the medical wing are silent and undisturbed by the bustle of the front foyer. Heaviness hangs in the air as he strolls down the long stretch of white, his shoes clicking against the spotless flooring. Charon and the Adjudicator are only several steps behind him but he’s in no hurry.
They round the corner and three heads turn in their direction.
The fourth doesn’t move.
Here we go.
Camorra’s Elite Four sit like guard dogs of the most vicious variety at the end of the lengthy hallway. Behind them stands a door. Behind that door, Winston knows, Santino D’Antonio now lays, clinging to his life and healing. Hopefully. He couldn’t care less about the Italian living or dying, but for your sake, he needs the arrogant man to pull through.  
The closer they come, the tenser the air becomes.
The tallest and broadest of the guards is leaning against the wall but pushes away from it upon their approach, uncrossing his arms as he stops in their path. The first line of defence.  
Another—the sharpshooter, if Winston recalls correctly—rises a second behind that, lowering a gleaming pistol he was fiddling with. Eyes narrowed, distrustful.
The youngest—the smiling nightmare, as you’ve called him once—doesn’t shift from his spot on the floor, a laptop in his lap. A pop of chewing gum fills the silence when he glances up lazily at the commotion over his round sunglasses.
And finally closest to the door—nearest to the Camorra boss, always the most vicious and final deterrent—stands the Devil of Camorra. He doesn’t look at them. He almost appears thoughtful, playing with a lighter in his hand as he leans against the wall.
Click, click, click.
“Can we help you?” the tallest asks politely, his Italian accent faint but still noticeable.
The sharpshooter stands by his side, frowning faintly.
A polite, unspoken warning hangs in the air. The woman—D’Antonio’s bodyguard that you’ve called a good friend on many occasions—appears to be missing. Though Winston doubts she’s far behind. He’s seen her by the Italian side for almost as many years as he’s seen you.
The Adjudicator speaks before he can. “I wish to see the Camorra family head, and the new member of the High Table, Santino D’Antonio.”
“Respectfully, who are you supposed to be?” the sharpshooter demands, his dark eyes narrowing marginally.
Loyal. To a degree at least. Winston had been hopeful they would be. He’s not surprised to see them standing guard, either. He’s betting on them continuing doing so.
“An Adjudicator,” the youngest quips from his spot on the floor, his fingers clicking across the keyboard. Another pop of gum follows. “Sent to adjudicate this hotel, I bet. Bang, bang—not a good look for the sturdy, old table. Seccante.”
The Adjudicator’s head slants; a calculating motion. “The Chameleon of Camorra,” they state flatly, unimpressed. “Former association with an organisation known as Slifer before Giovanni D’Antonio recruited you to Camorra’s ranks, correct?”
The young man in question drops his head back with a gleaming smile. The tattoos across his neck ripple with the gesture, and a gleam of white appears even brighter in the artificial light.  
“Oh yeah,” he drawls, amused. “Papi Giovanni welcomed me with open arms.”
There is clearly more to this tale. The implication is blatant even if the words are presented as a joke but Winston can still read it.
“You can’t see him.”
All eyes slide towards the Camorra Devil. His voice is gravelly, uncompromising, and he still doesn’t bother looking at them. Part arrogance, Winston imagines, and part genuine disinterest with them and the situation.  
“I have the right—”
“We have orders not to let anyone see Santino until he’s fit enough to take back command.”
At long last, the Devil turns towards them. The look in his icy eyes is a clear, if barely polite, warning. The man called Hector always had a reputation for being Giovanni’s most violent lapdog. Serving Camorra for years without a single falter. That level of loyalty is admittedly rare, especially when Winston knows others have tried to recruit the Devil in the past.
Hector, unlike you, has never been bound by a debt that kept him chained to Camorra. He stays because he wants to. If there are any other reasons for that loyalty, they’re unknown to the manager.
Though Winston has never interacted with the leader of the Elite’s, he’s heard plenty about him, and can understand why his name is spoken with trepidation. Despite it being subtle, the air around the man is still hostile. Brimming with a promise of violence.
“Whose orders?” the Adjudicator interrogates. “The council of Camorra—”
Whatever card they were hoping to play gets crushed in seconds.
“Our current acting boss. The Vipress,” the Devil announces, sounding annoyed, and pockets his lighter before pushing away from the wall. Another pop of gum ripples from the youngest Elite. Hector prowls closer, deliberately slow, and walks past the other two members of the guard. The Devil halts in front of the Adjudicator, appearing utterly bored. “You might be familiar with her. Stubborn, demanding, likes knives a little too much, starts shit wherever she goes. Santino named her his heir. No one is allowed to see him on her orders.”
Winston has to bite back a small smile. Perfect.
The Adjudicator stands completely still, their stare hard while they process the new information.
The manager hangs back, not saying a word, watching the silent face-off with vague amusement. He has to admit that at least the Devil doesn’t lack nerve. The other three don’t appear nearly as intimidated as they should be, either.
Adjudicators are feared for a reason. They have a vast reserve of power bestowed upon them by the highest tiers of the Table. Adjudicators stand even above Continental managers. Something Winston has been rather unpleasantly reminded of with Johnathan’s latest actions.
“The will of the Table stands above the individual order of someone who has been made Excommunicado.”
Mild but icy. Clearly, the not-so-subtle defiance from the Devil of Camorra hasn’t gone down well, either. Behind the tall man, the other two shift in their spots, tense. An exaggerated sigh sounds from behind them, and the chameleon rises to his feet as well. Cracking his neck, he strolls towards his associates, leaning his shoulder against the sharpshooter. The other man doesn’t so much as blink, clearly used to such antics.
“We answer to the will of the Camorra boss only,” Hector informs coolly, his tone just barely passing for polite. “We have since the beginning of Camorra family inception.”
We don’t answer to you, goes unsaid but the double meaning is clear. Winston straightens, a touch surprised. He wasn’t aware that such a divide existed between the highest tier of Camorra members and a top level High Table representative. He wonders if it’s more so the threat to their boss—the last D’Antonio left to carry the bloodline that founded Camorra centuries ago—or simple dislike that is driving such blatant disobedience.
The manager sincerely doubts that this refusal to comply is born out of genuine loyalty towards you or respect for your command. Especially from the Devil who holds no loyalties other than one towards Camorra.
The Adjudicator’s head dips, their short black hair appearing even darker in the bright light.
“There are rules. You are not above them,” they speak briskly, softly. “No one is above them. You are all bound to the will of the Table and exist under it.”
Another obnoxiously loud pop of the gum and the youngest of the Elite’s grins. “Actually we’re part of the Table,” he notes nonchalantly, but there is something icy about the slight edge to his grin. Distantly, Winston recalls you telling him that from all the Elites, it’s the chameleon you won’t want as your enemy the most. “Take one leg out and the whole table wobbles.”
The silence that follows those words is stifling. No one speaks or moves.
“No rules have been broken,” Hector eventually bites out, blunt but controlled. “We’re just guarding our boss. Shouldn’t you be commending our loyalty, huh?”
An unexpected bait but not one the Adjudicator rises to. Their expression remains steely, their eyes dragging over the Camorra Four before they finally turn away.
“Very well,” they intone flatly, their eyes narrowing marginally, and their tone dismissive. “Next time I will return with a direct order to stand down.”
“You do that,” the Devil shoots back without missing a beat.
The Adjudicator pauses, their eyes flickering back towards the man, digging into him for a moment before their attention drops away. Winston remains composed when the Adjudicator’s stare moves to him next, cold as ice, an unspoken burn of anger present in their eyes. Clearly, they’re not very used to not being heeded.
“I will be in my room.”
The Adjudicator doesn’t stick around to see if anyone has anything to say about that. They turn to go without sparing anyone another word, their steps brisk and sharp, betraying the displeasure absent from their frosty expression.
It’s quiet while they all stand, listening to the sound of retreating footsteps and, eventually, the whirl of the elevator going up.
It’s only then that the Elites relax, their guarded demeanours easing a bit.
“So mean spirited,” the chameleon mutters under his breath, unimpressed, and turns to go back to his laptop. “Exhausting.”
“Gentlemen.”
Winston nods his head at the Devil specifically, but Hector only grunts under his breath with a roll of his eyes. Briefly, he glances at Charon, his eyes narrowing before he turns away and stalks back to his previous spot.
Conversation over.
Fine by him.
The other two—the sharpshooter and the strength—return his nod, polite but stiff.
Winston tips his head in their direction one last time, and turns on his heels to go. No one stops him, and Charon trails after the manager a few seconds later.
It’s only when they both step into the elevator, the door closing softly behind them, that Charon finally speaks, “Nicely done, sir.”
Winston sighs, his shoulders dropping.
“It’s only a temporary deterrent, I’m afraid,” he admits and knows he’s right. If the Adjudicator does get that order the Four will not be enough. “The hatchling?”
The concierge straightens, his hands folded behind his back.
“The last sighting was reported as the Moroccan Continental, sir.”
There is a tickle of relief followed by a sting of concern. “Good. Then she as good as made it.”
He’s still not quite sure how he feels about the idea, however.
“If I may, sir,” Charon begins as if sensing the manager’s unease. “You do not look pleased about that.”
There is no point in trying to deny it, so Winston doesn’t.
“Not at all,” he agrees smoothly, feeling the elevator halt and the concierge moves ahead, opening the partition for them. “If it had been up to me, she never would have had to go back there. But she’s been reckless and manoeuvred herself into a corner with only one ace left to play. Herself.”
Seven years in this world. Seven long years of fighting for freedom and now there is a reputation that has been built upon that desperation. A reputation that has attracted all sorts of attention over the years.
Charon both looks and sounds troubled while they walk through the lobby. “Is there a reason for concern, sir?”
All these moving pieces forming an ever-shifting pattern. Something has been brewing for a while now. Winston can’t help but feel like he’s missing and not seeing something crucial. Like all those pieces are put together at a slightly wrong angle, disorientating the whole picture.
What will you do now, little hatchling?
The Elder. That history between you, that story you shared—they all weigh heavily on the manager’s mind. Always have.
He comes to a gradual stop.
“Oh, yes,” he mutters, pensive, shaking his head as he glances at the concierge beside him with open unease. “Most certainly.”
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Every breath takes notable effort.
Your instincts pinprick, trying to acclimate to the too-familiar surroundings—count and anticipate any potential threats. Everything about being back here feels so familiar it is its own kind of torture.
Your skin itches. One side of your face and hands—everywhere the scorching sun has managed to touch you the most—stretches uncomfortably with every twitch of your muscles. It’s a discomfort that comes with sunburns often earned in an unforgiving terrain like the desert, and you try to lick your dry lips, lifting your head. Your vision swims immediately, an explosion of vivid spots blinding you, and you careen dangerously to one side, hissing under your breath.
Eyes track every jerk of your body, and you know full well you’re not alone in this tent.
You’re almost afraid to look at him. Then feel idiotic for feeling that way. Maybe it’s because you had hoped that this chapter of your life was shut and laid to rest long ago, and it’s a hard pill to swallow, knowing that he was right after all.
“Drink.”
It’s then that you notice a cup sitting on a small, wooden table to the side. Part of you wants to cackle till you choke when you realise it’s the same green cup you drank from during your first test with him years ago.
Gathering yourself, you reach for the cup despite your dread, your digits folding around it carefully.
The drink inside smells minty and fresh but you don’t find anything amiss with it on the first inspection. A vague recollection of a similar scent tickling your senses when you were coming in and out of consciousness comes crawling back. With that in mind, you finally tip the cup down, taking a purposeful sip.
It empties in three slow gulps and you lower it back onto the table, still silent. It does make you feel better instantly, lifting the dense fog that was previously crushing your mind. A sense of déjà vu nips at your senses but you push it back. Not much point in delaying this. Though it doesn’t surprise you that he gave you time to gather yourself.  
Kindness with this man, you have long since learned, comes in the smallest of gestures. Tiniest of moments.
Drawing your knees closer, you sit up slowly, your head lowered.
“Why have you come?”
His words send a shiver down your spine that has little to do with heat. You’ve forgotten how much quiet power always rings through his baritone. His smooth, accented words wash over you like a tidal wave; gentle as they are dangerous. Misleading with their softness.
Swallowing, you force your limbs to obey you—to shift the worn muscles into an appropriate position. One knee digs into the carpet beneath you, your hands lacing over your bent thigh when you reposition yourself into a kneeling position. Your head is still lowered and you realise, then, that it isn’t fear of punishment that’s forcing you to stare at the ground.  
It’s him.
He once managed to get under your guard with startling ease and you scrubbed him away. Walked away from him and everything he offered. Tried to forget him despite the cracks. Your choice had made you feel powerful back then. In control. Despite there being a part of you that had longed to stay, you never quite regretted your decision to leave.
Worst, perhaps, is the knowledge that it wasn’t one-sided. You weren’t foolishly pining after the most powerful man in the world. You weren’t naively seeing something that didn’t exist. If anything, his interest in you had been more obvious from the start.
“I—” you mumble, near choking on your suddenly heavy tongue and mangled thoughts. “I came to seek repentance for my actions.”
Silence follows your muffled words and you stare at the ruby ring on your hand intently.
Will he turn you away? Consider you naive and foolish for hoping there’s some semblance of hope?
And where is John? Did he only pick you up and not him? Your weapons—what few you still have—are still on you because you can feel them against your body with every inhale and exhale.
Your empty stomach rolls and you have to bite back the acid welling at the back of your throat the longer you wait. The thrumming of your own heart almost drowns out his voice when the answer does finally come.
“Stand, viper,” the Elder states calmly. “You do not grovel at my feet.”
And just like that your breaths calm. Your dread ebbs like sea waves receding. With his words, you remember that you met as equals and parted as such despite you unearthing his true identity.
He’s right. You don’t grovel at his feet. Or anyone’s.
You stand at once, balancing on your heels, and square your shoulders. The lock of your jaw is a firm one, your stare steady and the steel in your stance returns easily. In that, it feels like no time has passed at all.
Straightening, you look ahead and meet his inquisitive stare evenly.
This time the sight that greets you is befitting the man who rules the High Table. This is how you had expected him to be the first time you met. A golden chair that reminds you more of a throne, and extravagant robes that breathe wealth and showcase his status. Surrounded by his people in a subtle warning though you know he can more than hold his own.
He oozes that unnerving authority but his face is still familiar. Few years have passed since you’ve last seen him, yet he barely looks any different. If it weren’t for several new lines creasing his face, you would have thought that time has simply paused here while you’ve been gone.
The quiet intensity of his heated regard hasn’t changed, either. Nor has the unease or the thrill that comes with having his complete attention on you.
He watches you unblinkingly and you find yourself swallowing again, an immovable knot sitting in your throat.
“Here you are.”
It’s a soft, thoughtful statement and you’re not quite sure what to make of his words or his demeanour, so you settle on a simple, “Here I am.”
He stands at that, his robes rustling in the wake of his sudden movement. His steps are measured and leisurely as he approaches. The Elder’s stare takes every inch of you in and you don’t lower your eyes. He doesn’t look particularly pleased with what he finds and you can’t help but wonder why.  
It still kills a small part of you. That you had to come back but only because you need a favour from him. Not because you returned to join him or even visit him, if you even could.
A part of you…
“I thought that maybe…” you mutter when he halts before you—all heat, spice, and that razor-sharp gaze that seems to burn into you—his hands lacing in front of him as he watches you keenly. “That maybe you forgot about me.”
It’s been years after all. You’re just you. One person in a machine so much larger than yourself. If Elder considered Tarasov to be nothing more than a piece in a more elaborate game years ago—at the near height of his power—then you couldn’t have possibly been that important. Or even noteworthy. He might have thought highly of you once but that was then.
His expression, however, gives you an answer before he can verbally do so.
“How could I?” he questions curiously, softly. As if the concept of forgetting you is truly an inconceivable one for him.
You work your tongue, trying to think of something to say, something clever, but nothing comes.
You simply stare up at him mutely, taking him in, and he you, and it does indeed feel like no time has passed between you. Even though so much is different now.
“I almost came back. Once,” you confess in a breathless rush, blinking rapidly because it’s hard to keep a straight expression under that scrutiny. “I got desperate and angry and…”
And Tarasov won’t let you help Camorra with the Albanians. Had treated you like nothing more than a dog, reminding you of your place. Dependant on his goodwill of which he had none. So you had ran like a reckless idiot. Sick and tired of being dependent on his word. Hoping for his mercy or any crumb of kindness.
“I know,” he murmurs in reply, a secret for you alone. “I waited for you.”
Air escapes your lungs at that mild admittance. At the way his eyes drag over your features, savouring but still guarded—always guarded. Everywhere from your eyes, to the dip of your collarbone, and the bow of your lips. There are others scattered around the tent but it feels like you’re the only ones here.
The golden hue of his eyes glints with knowing light at your reaction, and you force your tongue to work, “I wish to explain myself.”
He nods his head once. Prompt as it is anticipatory. You imagine that to him this is all playing out exactly as he’d been expecting it to. You’re back but a part of you is mangled exactly like he predicted it would be. Vengeance has led you here. Tarasov may be dead but you have only dug yourself into a deeper hole.
“You came all this way,” he says knowingly, his head slanting and lips thinning into an enigmatic half-smile. “Speak freely, viper.”
Your eyes, in return, sweep warily over others inside the tent. Some familiar faces. Others are unknown to you. Only pointed stares and blank expressions greet your curiosity. Inscrutable, severe stares that judge your every move and word. Saad is nowhere to be seen. That surprises you but you don’t let it show.
The Elder notes your wariness, not bothering to look away from you when he commands a soft, “Leave us.”
As one, everyone inside the tent rises. They don’t question, nor do they linger. They file out in a neat line, their robes rustling in the breeze, and you stare after them, surprised. You didn’t expect him to dismiss everyone solely because you felt uneasy talking to him with others around. Although seeing the space clear out is, admittedly, a relief.
Now it’s you two alone and it changes the air between you again. This puts you back in time, even if you try to remain unaffected.
But it’s hard not to. A part of you still sees him as Rafik. A man you have spent endless hours talking to about everything and nothing—a man you considered close to you—despite knowing full well that Rafik isn’t even his real name. In fact, you have no idea what his name is. Or who he is. Not really. He’s still just layers upon layers of mystery. Power. Ancient and tangible.
The way he gazes at you makes you think that isn’t the case, however. There is warmth woven into his regard, an almost fondness that despite being muted is clear to you.
The darkness of that stare is arresting when he reaches out, the warmth of his fingertips ghosting over your bandaged ear. You don’t hold back your wince of pain, pulling away from the contact.
The Elder’s mouth slants downwards at that, his eyes narrowing marginally. He looks thoughtful, displeased almost. The shadow across his expression is new to you. You’ve seen him as many things but tense and unhappy is not one of them.
“What have they done to you?”
It’s a quiet question—a collection of sharp, hard syllables—dragging themselves from somewhere deeper, you can tell.
Your lips part, ready to tell him everything but you stop yourself at once. How would he even look at you if you knew what you did? There would be no chance of forgiveness then. If he knew how badly you broke the very rules he enforces upon everyone in their world repeatedly.
With that in mind, you instead settle on a weak, “Guess you were right.”
Do not let that fire consume you.
He was right. He was always going to be right, you were just too blind and proud to admit it.  
His expression strains, his touch dropping away, and a glint catches your eye when his hand lowers. You feel a thud against your ribcage, and focus on that golden skin, barely breathing to a point his next words hardly register.
“This is not something I wished to be right about,” he says unhappily.
You swallow. Then again.
“You’re wearing it.”
He pauses. It doesn’t take long for him to figure out what you mean by that. The pad of his index finger brushes over the ring he’s wearing absentmindedly. The golden plate seems to gleam at the touch despite neither of you standing in direct sunlight.
“It was a gift,” he says gently in return, his features guarded once more. “A parting gift from you.”
It doesn’t explain much yet it explains everything.
On your last day together, when you visited Casablanca together, you had gotten it for him after arguing Saad out of some local currency under the guise of buying something for yourself. A souvenir as far as he knew back then. But the ring had caught your eye first. Handmade ring crafted out of pale golden metal. It reminded you of the sun that is his presence and the endless stretches of sand surrounding you.
Grinning, and more than a little unsure, you had presented it to him when you sat on the beach together, calling it a thank you present because you hadn’t worked up the courage to talk to him about leaving just yet. He had accepted it readily, his fingers lingering against yours when he took it, and even back then you couldn’t quite describe the emotion you glimpsed across his face.
You hadn’t dared to assume it was wonder back then, but it had been a close thing.
You certainly didn’t expect him to keep it after you left.
Or to still be wearing it after all these years. But maybe you’re jumping to conclusions and he’s only wearing it today. Specifically for this.
The silence between you changes yet again, morphing. Something more charged. Near oppressive.
Nerves flutter inside your tired body and you allow a soft wisp of breath to escape you, thinking of something to break the tension with.  
“Where is John?” you question quietly, your voice thick.
His jaw ticks, and he looks away, staring out towards the horizon.
“Mr Wick is safe,” he answers coolly. “Do not fret for him. He will answer for his wrongdoings in due time.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
The Elder turns to face you again, and it unnerves you because he keeps slipping between the man you lived with for months, and the man who controls the High Table. One is close to you, familiar. The other feels removed, walled off. No longer a sun but a cold, distant star. Unreachable to you.
His expression softens a touch when he notices your startled expression.
“Mr Wick has returned only to unleash havoc,” he informs you calmly, matter of factly. He doesn’t sound or look angry or even displeased, yet something about the piercing gleam in his eyes makes you think that it will not be a confrontation without consequences. “His punishment will reflect that. He made the decisions that led him here,” he fades off, pausing, his stare flickering over your features once more. “As have you,” he adds.
“I’m sorry,” you force out, shaking your head, cringing slightly at the pain that flares through your skin at that. “They’re both important to me and—”
“I am not speaking about Santino D’Antonio getting shot, viper.”
Your head snaps up, your features slacking with confusion. “Then what...”
The Elder lifts his hand, his attention focusing on the ring on his finger instead. He seems to struggle with something internally before sighing softly and dragging his stare away from you once more. You wonder why. It’s almost as if it’s difficult for him to look at you.
“Do not tell me you were so quick to forget my warning to you,” he begins calmly, something aloof lingering in his voice. He walks past you, his fingertips tapping on his ring repeatedly. Your own fingers tighten into a fist when you note the shift in him, the Camorra ring pressing into your skin as a bleak reminder. Your eyes follow him as he goes, watching his broad back when he stops at the edge of the tent, looking out towards the vastness of the desert. “I told you what will happen if anything befalls Viggo Tarasov before your debt is repaid.”
Ice pierces you, burrowing under your skin viciously, and you’re glad that he can’t see your face because for a second your expression comes apart completely.
“I did not—”
“Do you really think I know you so little that lying to me would work?”
Your mouth snaps shut, a bitter tang stinging the inside of your mouth. He’s right. You feel as disappointed in yourself as he sounds. You’ve always prided yourself on being forward and direct. Yet your instinct now had been to lie, to deny, because the idea of him knowing terrifies you.
Because it puts you in so much worse of a position than what you first expected to be in.
How? Why would he even think—
The High Table would have—
“I know why you came here,” he says, at last, turning to face you again. His expression is grim and he watches you closely as he strolls closer. Despite his leisurely gait, his stare is searing. “You came in hopes that I would lift the Excommunicado. You came in hopes that you can clear your name. But your crimes run deeper than you are willing to admit to me.”
“I’ve disappointed you,” you assume blankly. “Is that it?”
He shakes his head once. “No, viper,” he responds placidly, his eyebrows knitting. “You have disappointed yourself. You are so much better than this. Yet your recklessness has led you to this. Did you really think that I would not find out?”
He comes to a stop before you again and you meet his stare.
There is no point in lying, so you don’t.
“If you knew,” you start, choked, forcing down your emotions as you search his face, and try to quieten the pounding of your heart. “Then why was I not declared Excommunicado sooner?”
A long beat of suffocating silence, and then, “Because I shielded you.”
He says it so simply. Like it’s as expected as the sun rising each morning. A faint knell of wind chimes fills the hush between you this time, and you peer at him in disbelief. Shock.
“What?” you exhale shakily.
The Elder shakes his head once, sighing. “I gave you a chance in hopes that you will take it and savour your new freedom,” he explains smoothly, his fingertips still dancing over the ring. His strong profile only accents his handsomeness and you see the conflict there—see the shadows dancing inside the inky pools that are his eyes. “I overlooked your wrongdoing. Because I understood your pain then as I do now. I cautioned the Table to look the other way. But what did you do with this gift, viper? You wasted it. And there is nothing to be done now. Even I cannot shield you from the storm that has been unleashed. The scale has been tipped towards chaos now. You broke the rules in the open, for the whole world to see,” he continues, each word making your heart beat harder inside your chest, his attention returning to you, “And now here you are.”
So that’s why.
Why there was such a long pause between Tarasov’s death and administration contacting you about you being free of your debt. The silence that made you so uneasy back then. The High Table had been suspicious, had assumed you played a part, but the Elder pulled their attention away from you.
Years later, he’s still looking out for you.
You’re too speechless to say much past gaping at him; a thousand thoughts fluttering through your mind, all of them wild and hurtful.
Your attention falls to the carpet beneath your feet, and stays there for some time while you digest what this means.
He knows. He’s known for weeks now.
Just like that the already shaky foundation beneath your feet slips further.
Helplessness closes in and your eyes sting.
Consequences. Everything has a price and it was foolish of you to assume that your luck will continue. You’ve been too quick to celebrate and now...
“What now?”
A whisper of material sounds in your ears and the heat of his palm comes to rest against one side of your face. You feel that warmth sink deep into your skin and it burns. Both a physical ache and something deeper. Your eyes open as he guides your face upwards for him to see.
You lean on the side of caution and say nothing, waiting for him to speak first.  
“Now, my viper,” he whispers, a touch forlorn. “You face the consequences of your actions.”
Forcing down your fear, you give him a firm, unyielding, “If you’re going to kill me, at least make it quick.”
His palm pulls back but not all the way. His knuckles trace over the curve of your cheek—so faint you barely register the sensation. “I would never kill you.”
“But?”
He seems to be considering something hard, his regard in a constant flux between warring emotions, “But you cannot be seen as walking away without punishment after what’s happened. It is the way of things,” he finally concludes.
You pull away from his touch, your eyes burning, “So be it,” you mutter, shaky and forcefully casual. “But I don’t regret stepping in. I don’t regret any of it. I would do it all again.”
Even if it meant the pain and the heartache. Sleepless nights and blood.
Because at least they’re all alive. Even if this is the sacrifice for that victory.
You saved them, and you would never regret that.
“Is this love?”
Your attention snaps back to him at the gentle murmur of his question. There is little distance between you—to a point you can feel the heat of his broad build and the phantom sensation of his exhales against your skin.
He didn’t specify who the love is for.
Deep down, you know it’s not so simple to untangle who means what to you anymore. It’s a mess of different emotions and loyalties. Everyone in your life that has made themselves a place in it, you love fiercely. Even if they’re all different kinds of love. All you know—all you need to know—is that you would gladly stand here for any of them. Punishment and consequences be damned.
“Yes.”
You’re not sure why you expect him to be irritated, perhaps even disappointed in your answer, but he only seems to consider your words for a while.
Fierce desert heat rolls across your skin while you wait for a response but he seems to be in no rush to provide you with one. His lips part, his head lowering and he makes a small sound at the back of his throat; half-disbelieving, and half-thoughtful.  
“How odd,” he muses faintly, his features drawing into something desolate. “I do not quite recall the last time I felt envy.”
Your eyes flutter shut, trying to push his words and the emotion in them away. He means that genuinely, and you know that. You’ve lived with him for months and have seen a great many sides to him. That loneliness—that drive to be something more, to be understood by someone else—is what drew you together in the first place. Bonded you as deeply as it did.
Despite the nip of sadness you feel for him, you don’t contradict him—don’t say anything at all, in fact.
“What is it that you want from me?”
The Elder appears lost in his head for a while before he finally responds, “You already know, viper,” he says in a knowing murmur. “Otherwise you would not look at me with such sadness in your eyes.”
“You want me to stay.”
“Yes,” he agrees with a slight nod, his previous melancholy receding, and his guard slipping back on. “It is the only way that your life can be spared. Your service to the High Table will be used to absolve you of your crimes.”
You can’t quite help the bitter, brief laugh that slips free from you. “And is love a crime? I’m being punished for caring. For wanting to keep my family safe.”
He doesn’t say anything but you can guess what he’s thinking.
You broke the rules. Killed Tarasov. Interfered when you could have killed John and proven your loyalty to the High Table. Rules apply to all—no exceptions.
You don’t want to think about what would be the outcome if he knew about Chicago as well. Then, you conclude numbly, even his favour won’t save you from death.
“For how long?”
The Elder doesn’t reply. You already know, his expression seems to say though, and your composure fractures. Sucking in a deep breath, you chew on your inner cheek, half-turning away from him.
Because of course you know.
“For life,” you choke out.
“Yes,” he agrees, his voice gentle. “You will become my fourth disciple, and my apprentice, working directly under me,” he explains carefully, watching you just as closely, and you fight to keep a straight expression. “I am sorry, (Name), I wish there had been another way. But we are each masters of our own fate. You gave this life a chance once before and you embraced it effortlessly.”
You know that. You know that compared to what could have happened, this is a mercy. He will treat you fairly, kindly, and you’ve almost made this place, his people, your new life once before. If anything, on the surface alone, this is more of a gift than a punishment, especially with the amount of power you will gain by joining him.
And yet.
This also means that you will rarely, if ever, see your friends and family again.
Everyone you love and care for will be removed from you. People who join the Elder don’t go back to their old lives. Service to the High Table becomes their new life. The tribe, their new family.
No Winston or Charon. Santino or John. No Ares or the Elites. No Sofia or Cassian.
Just no one.
The tear you feel in your heart at that thought nearly makes you choke on a sob. For all the physical agony you’ve been through in these last several weeks, this somehow hurts the most. The notion that you will never see them again, will never get to touch them or laugh with them, is agonising. Somehow it hurts even more than the realisation that you will be bound yet again, unable to be free, unable to live for yourself just like you always dreamt of.
A hand reaches for you but you stumble back a step, still not looking at him.  
“You will not be my prisoner, viper,” he tells you seriously. “I would never take that from you. But you—”
“Can never see them again, is that it?” you cut him off sharply.
You know he’s not used to being spoken to like that. You doubt anyone has even tried but when you lift your eyes to his, you notice how his own features smoothen in response to what he sees on your face. The grief and the pain. The raw, suffocating grip of it shackling you and dragging you down, down, down—
He doesn’t deny your words, however, and that’s answer enough.
“I know this is hard,” he says instead, and you think that sympathy you spy in his dark eyes is genuine, well-meant. “But I warned you where this path will lead you. You did not listen.”
It doesn’t help though.
God, it hurts so much. This is somehow worse than when John left. Worse even, is the fact that you have no one to blame. Not even the Elder. You did this yourself. Went into this fully knowing there is a chance it will all blow up in your face.
“Can I at least...say goodbye?” you wonder, your words thin, and inhale deeply despite the dry, hot air giving you little relief. “Spend some time with them before I leave?”
The Elder hesitates. “A week.”
You shake your head, stepping closer towards him. “Six months.”
His head slants; a colder, more authoritative motion. “Are you bargaining with me, viper?”
There is no hesitation in your reply, not this time, “Yes.”
“And what bargaining power do you have?”
It’s a curious question as opposed to condescending. Almost as if he’s trying to gauge how you will react, and you force your emotions back, licking your lips once. Your thumb smoothes against the inside of the metal band on your hand.
“I’m the acting boss of Camorra,” you remind him, straightening your shoulders once more despite the way you can feel your pulse fluttering against the base of your neck. You’re not sure if it betrays you but you certainly don’t let it show. “And I would respectfully ask that you give me six months. It will not change anything in the long run.”
The Elder’s attention drifts towards your hand, and he closes whatever little distance there is between you, reaching for it. You tense despite yourself when he carefully takes your clenched fist into his palm and lifts it between you. His thumb traces over your bruised knuckle—a tender, careful touch as if not to hurt you further—and a pensive hum slips free as he stares at the ring on your hand.
“You wear power beautifully,” he comments idly, and you have to hold back a shiver at the feeling of his thumb continuously journeying over your skin; nothing more than a tickle, a promise of warmth. The touch hurts as much as it soothes. “Three months. Offered to you only because you dare where others don’t. Because I am not unreasonable and while this is a punishment, I do not wish to see you unhappy.”
Too late for that nearly escapes you but you bite your tongue.
Three months. Just three. It will pass in a blink and then…
A lifetime away from everything you love, everything that is home and safety. Everything that’s important to you.  
“May...may I have a moment?” you request weakly. “Just to…”
He releases his grip on your hand and it falls to your side heavily. “Of course,” he voices graciously. “I will be back shortly but take the time you need.”
He steps past you once more but this time he heads towards the direction other men had left in earlier. He doesn’t pause and he doesn’t turn back to look at you, his gait slow but self-assured. You wait till his broad back disappears from your sight before you feel your expression crumble completely.
Pressing a hand against your face, you ignore the flare of pain where you dig too hard into your sunburnt skin. Instead, you focus everything inside yourself on controlling your despair and tears. You can’t fall apart now. Not after how far you’ve come and all you’ve been through.
Shuddering breaths wheeze past your mouth and nose, your shoulders quivering. Better to allow yourself this weakness now, alone, than to let the Elder or anyone see this slip.
Your shaking hands drag themselves away from your face and mouth, and your palm pushes against your breastbone. Beneath the material of your jumpsuit and skin, your heart hammers inside your chest like a wild beast desperate to escape. So afraid of the chain once again.
But what can you do? There is no other option. No escape. Nowhere to run, and even if you did, such action would only paint a bigger target on people closest to you. The only thing you would do by running is reassuring their demise.
The heel of your palm presses harsher against your sternum, maybe in some naive hope that you can tear your own heart out and it would be—
Oh.
You still, an unsettling sort of hush falling over you when a dark, insidious whisper slithers into your mind after all. You keep your palm close against the curve of your breast and think.
What would Winston do if he were here right now?
There is only one option, really.
Just the one.
But your mind and instincts go to battle at once. One side arguing for it and other against it. If you succeed...but if you fail…
But what other choice is there? Servitude or death? No.
A frustrated sound tears from the back of your throat and you drop your hand, standing to your full height, your eyes squeezing shut.
No. No, you will not let this pass. You will no longer be controlled. You’ve had enough.
Fuck consequences. You will deal with them as they come. You shouldn’t be punished for killing the man who took everything from you in the first place. You should not be punished for saving someone you care for—for interfering.
Your blunt nails bite into your palms to a point of pain despite that resolve. Because digging through that determination and rage is fear. Very simple human fear but you bottle it and shove it deep down.
No time for that now.
Power is a dangerous thing. You have to be willing to lose everything in order to take it.
And that’s exactly it.
Lose everything.
Just like that your taut limbs relax, the pounding inside your head retreating and dulling into a muffled buzz. You step forward one slow step at the time before dropping heavily onto the very throne you woke up to find the Elder sitting on.
Your eyes flutter close and you mull over the new path you’re about to step on, bowing your head in acceptance. So much for dreams of freedom. Your fingers ghost over your collarbone again and you smile this time; a cold, broken fragment of a smile.
Eyes closed, you listen to the sounds of the desert for a while, calming yourself. Wind against silk and tapestries. Faintest of whooshes caused by wind teasing sand away from the outer surface of dunes surrounding the camp. Sandorms, at least, you have not missed.
Deep down you can’t help but think that you always knew how this was going to end.  
People like us don’t get happy endings.
You ignore the ache inside your chest at the memory of Santino’s face, focusing instead on clearing your mind.
It takes at least another ten minutes before muted footsteps sound from ahead of you. You don’t lift your head at his approach, your arms hanging limp between your parted legs.
He pauses when he sees you. You suppose it’s rude, what you’re doing, sitting on his throne like it’s your own.
This time, you’re the one to tilt your head to one side, looking up at him from under your lashes.
The Elder doesn’t appear angry at your nerve to sit on his throne though. No rigidness to be found in his expression or slanting of his full mouth, not even a pinching of his brows; all telltale signs of his discontent usually. In fact, his eyes drag over your figure, lingering everywhere despite the distance.
For a man who doesn’t let others close, rarely lets his guard down in general, his appreciation—dare you say it, desire—is abundantly clear.
Jaw clamped tightly shut, you rise to your feet unhurriedly. Far steadier than you expected yourself to be capable of, and he steps closer towards you as well. Slow, bordering on cautious, and you wonder why. It’s like he’s afraid to blink lest you disappear.
But maybe that’s precisely it. Maybe he’s been hoping to walk into this tent and find you here every day since you’ve been gone. And now that you are here, he’s not quite sure what to do.
“How are you feeling?” he asks curiously, his accented words warming you like the setting sun, and you wonder what it may feel like to hear that voice for the rest of your life.
No turning back now.
Swallowing thickly, you ignore the pulsing numbness locking your throat, and wait for him to halt in front of you before you speak.
“I accept.”
A light sparks in his eyes—something burning and near living in its intensity, an emotion you have only glimpsed once before—as they roam over your features in search of an answer to a question he hasn’t asked.
“Three months,” you begin purposely, rushing your words out in a breathless whisper. He’s so close there’s hardly any distance between you at all—no room to turn away nor do you want to. The turquoise of his turban only seems to bring out the beauty of his dark eyes and golden skin. Draw you closer. He, too, hardly seems to be breathing while he listens to your words intently. “Then I come back here. To you. And stay. I will give this a chance but I can’t promise that it...will not be hard. In return…”
“The Excommunicado will be lifted upon your return to New York,” he reassures, still searching for something in your expression. “You have my word.”
His eyes lower and he breathes another sigh in a rare show of uncertainty.
“What is it?” you can’t help but wonder, confused.
“What proof do I have that you will uphold your word, viper?” he questions mildly, his probing stare digging into you. That challenging, clever stare that first got the warning bells ringing inside your head that this is not a man to be trifled with. “What will you give me in a show of fealty?”
You don’t say anything, peering up at him silently.
Seeing that, the Elder’s eyes slide towards your bare neck, and stop there. A second later, his strong fingers trace over the curve of the silver chain around your neck—
“No,” you choke out desperately, your hand snapping up to grip his own when his fingers slip around the metal. “Please, it’s not mine to give away.”
It’s Santino’s. When he gave it to you, over a year ago now, he asked to guard it for him, keep it safe. Even then, you knew it meant more to him than he would ever admit outright. You’re not quite sure where it comes from or who it belongs to but you have a strong inkling, and the idea of giving it away makes you feel sick to your stomach.
The Elder hesitates at your fragile plea, your eyes locking again, and fingers touching. “Yet it is important to you.”
More than he knows and certainly more than even you realised.
Here, now, faced with the prospect of losing it makes you think that you can’t live without it. That you need it or you will feel aimless and lost forever. It became an anchor slowly, with time, but now you value it above most things.
That realisation leaves you trembling before you conjure up some semblance of composure back.
“Please,” you plead again, soft and frayed. “Not this. I can give you something else. Something more.”
He doesn’t hide his palpable confusion, and that’s when you move closer, your fingers snaking up his neck as you lean forward and kiss him.
His moment of hesitation lasts no more than a split second before he grabs you around the waist, hauling you closer and you slip your arms around him, kissing him as deeply as you can. Your mouth hurts from how hard you kiss him, fervent and demanding, and despite his initial falter, he replies with equal drive and need. Your tongue slips inside his mouth, wet and hot, and you don’t compromise and neither does he. One hand grips the back of his neck where your nails sink into the firm, strong skin there, scratching and claiming. Your other drags across the scruff of his jaw, forcing him closer. Not that you need to, he holds you so close, every curve of your body presses into him.
He fuses you two together, the accessories of his robes wedging painfully into your skin but it only fuels you more. His large, burning hand settles against the back of your neck, holding you to him. Biting back a snarl, you try to wiggle your way free but his fingers dig in. Firm, unyielding, steadying; forcing a small gasp from you despite your best effort to hold it back.
You let everything flow outwards, biting down on his bottom lip greedily, and he groans loudly at the back of his throat—a deep, appreciative sound—that almost makes you purr in delight. All that control, all those guards, and you tore through them like tissue paper.
The taste of him mingles on your tongue, his nose nudging against your cheek when he deepens the kiss again, exploring and searching but with such desperation, it’s like he’s trying to drown himself in the kiss. In you.
Your lips tingle and feel partially numb by the time you finally part, breathing hard. Heat creeps up your neck and simmers in your gut while you continue holding onto him. The chain around your neck lays forgotten, both of the Elder’s arms locked firmly around you instead.  
Perhaps this is a kiss you should have shared years ago. That night by the fire you came dangerously close to taking this path. Claiming a lot more than just a kiss from him when he outright admitted that he would have made you his. A kiss that could have started something beautiful. It’s tainted now by the uncertainty of your shared future but you don’t point that out, only waiting for his reaction.
“Ya amar,” he breathes near reverent, his voice throaty, and gaze wild. He tries to leash his desire but you can still taste it, and with how thoroughly you kissed him, you have no doubt that he can say the same for you. “Why?”
“This is what you want,” you tell him, hushed words that brush against his lips as intimately as your lips have moments prior. “It’s what you always wanted.”  
He grips one side of your face, reminding you too much of someone you can’t afford to think of right now, and he shakes his head once.
“No,” he murmurs but the way he holds onto you betrays him as do his eyes that keep flickering back towards your lips. “What I always wanted was an equal,” he pauses for a beat, squinting at you like he’s taking you in with new eyes, like you’re a marvel to behold. “And you have become exactly that, haven’t you, my viper?”
Once you would have denied it, shielded away from saying anything on the matter. Once you simply won’t have believed it. But now there is nothing holding you back anymore.
In that freedom, you have unearthed a simple truth.
“Yes.”
His eyes flutter shut at your confirmation, and you hate the subtle glimmer of relief, even wonderment, you see creasing his expression. Like he’s waited his whole life for someone to say that.
“Three months,” he utters quietly like he doesn't want to disturb the moment. “Then you will return to me.”
“I always do.”
His grip on you constricts before loosening, lingering and reluctant to let go but he does eventually, his digits sliding away from the curve of your waist and neck.
You don’t bother asking how many rules you broke with this kiss.
You both got what you wanted.
“Your tent awaits you,” he prompts quietly, still drilling holes into you. “Rest before your journey, viper. We will see each other soon.”
You couldn’t run even if you wanted to or tried—neither of which you do. Too late for that now.
You dip your head in a small bow, but his fingers tap under your chin the moment you do, guiding your face upwards.
“Everyone but you.”
Then he pulls away, his thumb fluttering briefly over your bottom lip, and sits himself down on his throne, folding his arms and legs alike.
The perfect picture of a powerful, controlled ruler. Enigmatic and captivating.
Cruel as he is kind.
The Terrible Sultan, you can’t quite help your fleeting thought. Which makes you wonder if that, then, makes you his Golden Empress.
You don’t linger on that thought though, that connection that lives between you. Pivoting on your heels, you head towards the exit of the tent, feeling his eyes lingering on you the entire way.
Your mouth still burns but you ignore it.
Your expression slackens the moment your back is to him, coldness spreading through you as you step into the blazing desert sun.
E4 E5.
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The roar inside your head is overpowering.
So much so that all you can do is sit slumped beside your old cot. You hadn’t quite made to it, instead half-collapsing beside it. Your folded knees partially obscure your sight as you stare blankly ahead but you can’t bring yourself to move. 
Instead, you work on glueing together that controlled calm the very man you just talked with taught you. 
Your mind doesn’t allow you rest though. Every wall of control and discipline you’ve ever learned from every influential person in your life dissolves in face of the blistering furnace that is your raging heart. 
A collection of voices scream at you inside your head, and it takes a while to be able to comprehend what one singular voice that sounds suspiciously like Winston is demanding. 
What have you done?
And all you can think in response to that is a tiny and uncertain, What I had to.
Lacing your fingers, you push them between your thighs, sucking in deep, near painful breaths. 
You don’t have time for this. No time for self-pity. There’s…
There’s too much to do. 
Yet all you want to do is sit here for the rest of your days and never move. 
You lick your lips, wetting them, and feel another torrent of emotions batter against your self-control. 
The taste of him is still in your mouth. 
You haven’t kissed anyone on the lips in five years. Not since that night on your birthday when you kissed John. The last time you ever laid your mouth on someone else in general…
A comforting memory slips through the chaos; wispy and balmy, like an embrace. A memory of heat enveloping you, familiar cologne, and dark curly hair. Santino’s small, drunken smile when you pressed a kiss against his forehead, your fingers cupping his face. 
The way he had held you to him around the waist, making you feel unfairly safe, cared for. 
You never did tell Santino about his whispered words at Naples. What he confessed to you between the shadowed walls of his bedroom. Back then, a large part of you still refused to believe it—believe him. Had chalked it up to nothing more than a drunken moment of sentimentality. But that’s no longer the case. You know better than that now. 
Three months will have to be enough to…
To say goodbye. 
Clinging to that memory—and the understanding that you don’t have time to waste—you rise to your feet. For what feels like a thousandth time, teeth gritted and jaw set, you still stand despite the knock. 
Your tent hasn’t changed much. Some things are in a different place to where you left them but the knowledge that it’s been waiting for you all this time is like a sledgehammer to the chest. 
Soon, if things come to pass, it will be your home permanently. 
You start with changing and washing up, followed by applying the salve you found in a small, ceramic pot onto your skin.
For the burns, the note left on your pillow beside the pot read. You didn’t need to ask questions about its origins. You know that penmanship as well as your own after spending endless months studying his research. 
The Elder has once again thought of everything. 
The salve is like a soothing, cool caress across your burned, dry skin and the relief is, once again, immediate. A part of you wonders if there will ever come a day when his genius doesn’t surprise and intrigue you. 
Food is harder. Your stomach still churns, and despite your best attempts to quell the sensation of queasiness, it doesn’t pass. 
You force some broth down despite that, chewing everything in front of you on automatic. Made with a loving hand and great care guarantees that the food is delicious yet you taste none of it. 
It’s quiet. 
The roar inside your mind has quietened. 
Now everything feels cold and far away despite the heat dampening the back of your neck already. The shock has worn off, leaving only throbbing absence behind. 
A commotion sounds outside your tent and your head snaps to the sound. A second later the flap parts and a familiar, dark spectre of a man walks inside, his eyes already locked onto you. 
“John.”
You jump to your feet at the sight of him, moving towards him in hurried steps. Saad slinks inside behind John and you halt at the sight of his looming frame, your eyes narrowing. So that’s where he’s been. No doubt watching over the deadliest assassin alive to make sure he doesn’t cause problems. 
John looks relieved to see you, his expression easing as he takes in your new attire. Previously severe contours of his features relax and his chin dips. 
“V.”
He always manages to pack so much into so little. It’s like the acknowledgement alone asks a hundred questions. 
Are you okay? 
Are you hurt?
What happened?
Though you want to ask him those same questions yourself. He looks terrible. His treatment, clearly, while not awful has not been as hospitable as your own. 
“Saad,” you address the man, nodding your head towards him. Much like the Elder, he hasn’t changed much. A new scar clips the left side of his chin but the rest of him remains the same. From his critical stare, crooked nose, and dark skin. “It’s good to see you again.”
He doesn’t smile and his expression doesn’t lighten at your words. You didn’t expect it to, either. 
“Viper,” he says so bluntly you blink and even John inclines his body towards the man, peering at him from the corner of his eye. “Finally back where you belong.”
Your mouth goes dry. 
“I’m going back to New York,” you inform him, jutting your chin. “So I’m afraid this is a brief visit only.”
Those pitch-black eyes study you for several moments and you can’t quite tell what’s going on behind those empty depths. 
“You have ten minutes,” he states briskly, his voice still flat and accent gruff. “Then I am to escort Mr Wick to his transport. Your presence has been requested by the Elder before your departure.” 
You straighten at that. John is much the same, his shoulders curving backwards. Those words are also when you notice that John is in a fresh, black suit. 
“Is there a problem?” you pose coolly, but your old sparring partner only watches you both with palpable distrust.
He glares at you for a beat, still deadly silent, before turning away from you both. “Ten minutes,” he grunts, and then he’s gone, the flap swishing in his wake while you listen to his retreating footsteps. 
“V, what happened?” John asks the moment Saad’s footsteps can no longer be heard. “He told me he saw you already.” 
He. The Elder. 
Dropping your head in a nod, you turn away from the man behind you, glancing briefly at your shaking fingers. You squeeze them painfully, pressing them against your chest instead, and focus. 
I can do this. 
“We came to an agreement,” you say swiftly, keeping your tone light, and glance at him over your shoulder. Your hand lowers from your chest at the look on his face. John looks confused. Unconvinced. “My Excommunicado will be lifted once I return to New York. You?”
You knew from the moment the deal was made that telling John would not be wise. You know the man inside this tent. His actions with Santino have proven to you that despite what you might say or do, it won’t change his mind. When it comes to push or shove, John will always shove. And he will shove with enough force to crush the opposition completely. 
His reaction to learning that you have to go back in three months would only land him in deeper trouble. Usually, you would expect him to maintain his ironlike composure. Very little could ever move John in the first place, especially towards anything rash. But that desperate gleam in his eyes when he told you that he will make up for his mistakes keeps constantly jumping to mind. 
You don’t trust John not to do something drastic right now. 
He doesn’t respond to your inquiry at first. Which gives you plenty of time to notice the sheen of pain exuding from him. You slant your body back towards him when you do, and take several steps closer.
“What’s wrong?” 
Still, he says nothing. 
You’re about to demand answers but he simply lifts his hand in the air between you. 
And you suck in a deep breath at the sight of his missing ring finger. 
The void is glaring and the finger that was once home for a golden wedding band is gone. As is the ring. 
“He wanted to see my conviction to the Table and told me to cut my finger in a show of fealty,” he explains lowly, his voice and expression worn. “I will be bound to it and remember through death after I complete my task. That was his will and my price to pay for survival.”
It’s so easy, you think in a dazed rush, to forget exactly what the Elder is capable of. He got the deadliest assassin in the world to mutilate himself as a punishment. You would wager he didn’t even threaten—he didn’t need to. 
It makes you painfully aware of what could have happened to you if you didn’t have that history with him. If he didn’t look at you with all that hidden emotion. If you were just a girl who broke his rules. What would have become of you then? Would you have lost a finger as well? Your whole hand? 
Would you have been just another casualty to be stomped out? Removed like a tumour because you didn’t abide. 
Suddenly you feel sick all over again. 
Suddenly all you want—
Your arms wrap around him and you squeeze the powerful frame of John’s body to you. He seems to deflate, unwind and soften, his arms wrapping tightly around you in return. 
“I’m sorry.”
Because you’re still angry at him, still bitter about all he’s done, but you care about him despite that, and know how deeply this would have hurt. Physical injury aside, it’s the loss of his ring that would have stung the deepest. 
John adores Helen still, loves her deeply. 
It’s not something that can fade so easily despite death. 
You felt panicked at the mere prospect of the Elder taking the silver chain around your neck. How did John feel having to lose his finger and his final sign of dedication to the woman he loves? 
But, it seems, that you have both gotten what you had coming. 
He, too, will be bound to the Table now. In a different way than you but bound all the same. This desperate, bloody fight to be free and you are both back exactly where you started. 
John’s face presses into you, savouring the contact, and you release him after another minute. It isn’t just him that needed this. 
“I have to tell you something,” he says the moment you pull back. 
The morose curve of his mouth chills you at once. Comfort, however fleeting, has now left the air between you. 
“What is it?”
“It’s...”
John stares at you for a while. An internal war rages behind his dark eyes and your confusion mounts at his hesitancy. Something is stuck behind his teeth and your stomach sinks the longer the battle goes on inside him.
“It’s about Cassian,” he eventually settles on.
Your brows draw together, caught off guard. Analysing his features closely, you wait to see if he will expand on that but as always John limits himself. He only peers at you but the regret you find lingering in the air around him unsettles you further. 
“What about him?”
He still looks torn and reluctant when his lips part, “After we parted. He found me,” he says and your shoulders lift with your forceful inhale. Understanding blooms steadily with every word. “He wanted revenge. For Gianna.”
The air inside the tent is blistering but you feel it cool by several degrees at those words. 
You had sworn an oath to Gianna that you will make sure her family name survives beyond her. Now you wear the very ring she and Santino have been struggling to earn their entire lives. 
Even worse were Cassian’s parting words to you that still haunt you. 
But if we ever meet again. I will kill you myself. 
Your mentor and friend. A brother you would have loved to have had. 
You could drill John about what happened while you were dealing with Lucien. You could accuse him of more wrongdoings and damage. Demand to know why he didn’t tell you sooner. Scorn him. Hate him.
But instead, you turn away, and let only one question slip free, the only one that matters, “Is he still alive?”
He answers you honestly.
“I don’t know.”
His voice is thick with muted remorse and you nod your head in acceptance of that honesty. You don’t say anything in return, still staring at your cot. Focus on the pattern of your old blanket.  
You feel it bubbling in the air between you and speak up before he can.
“Don’t apologise,” you order but it’s empty of fury. You just sound weary. So very weary. “I understand. I just…”
Your eyes slip shut. He was only trying to keep himself alive. It’s just survival. But it still hurts. In that moment, the urge to give up is near overpowering. It digs deep between your shoulder blades and straight into your heart but you shake it off.
You’re not getting out of this. There’s no hope for you now. You know how this ends. 
You almost recoil at Kishi’s voice filtering from the deepest recesses of your mind. 
No. There’s still hope. That’s exactly why you can’t give up. Because there is still hope. 
“Wish it didn’t have to be this way?”
John’s soft inquiry makes you flinch, snapping you to the present. Your eyes return to him and you examine him for a moment, digesting his words. 
“Yes,” you mumble in agreement, your sadness no doubt palpable. “Yes, I do.”
John lowers his head, a few strands of his raven hair tickling his cheek when he does. “Do you ever wonder…”
He stares at the empty space where his finger should be, flexing the remaining ones experimentally. You wait for him to continue but can tell from one look that he’s lost in his head, thinking hard about something. 
“Do I wonder what?” 
John’s lips part, then press shut again. His breaths are haggard, slow. 
“What might have happened had I never pushed you back? Never left.”
You’re not sure what to do with his curiosity. You’re not even sure how you feel about it.  
“I used to. Often,” you admit after several minutes of thought. Because what do you have left to hide? Now, perhaps, you can be as open as you wish to be, say everything because it’s not like— “Then I realised there was no point to it because you weren’t coming back,” you tell him and chuckle weakly, adding an ironic, “We’re each masters of our own fate.”
Shuffling your feet, you venture closer towards him, and lift your face to his, taking his hand into your own. His knuckles, much like your own, are bruised and swollen. His are worse than yours, however, and with that in mind, you lead him towards your cot. You reach into the still open ointment pot and gather some, rubbing your fingers briefly to warm the salve. 
Slowly, you drag your fingertips gently over his knuckles. It won’t be as effective as it is for burns but chamomile, echinacea and ginseng inside the salve should still help with healing and soothing the pain. 
“You always had the right to choose, John,” you say quietly, frankly, as you work to apply the salve on his other hand as well. He’s so still you’re not sure if he’s breathing. “The right to happiness. I understand that now. It’s always been your right,” you continue, a touch sadder, and your eyes skip upwards to rest on his face. His stare is gentle, his mouth parted while he peers at you. “I’m just sorry that you had to lose it. But to answer your question. No. Not anymore. It’s been a long time. We’re different people now.”
You finish applying the salve and release your grip but his fingers tighten around yours before you can.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he says, his words hushed. 
Your search his face again. Wonder what the future will hold for you both. “Yeah, maybe it is.”
A rustle sounds behind you and you turn just as Saad steps back into the tent, his features still rigid with displeasure. 
“Come with me, Mr Wick,” he instructs sternly and inclines his head in your direction. “The Elder awaits you.”
Grounding your jaw, you offer the assassin beside you a calm, “I’ll see you back at the Continental.”
John turns back towards you. He doesn’t look particularly thrilled at your words, a question hanging in the air around him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” you say, unfazed. You pat his arm once as you pass; an old, routine gesture you haven’t done in years. “Tell Winston to get my favourite ready. He’ll know the one.”
You brush past them both, chin slanted at a higher angle. It’s late afternoon by now with the sun starting to dip towards the dunes. The air is still sweltering despite that, and a robed man waiting outside the tent gestures mutely in the direction he wants you to head in. 
You find the Elder at the edge of the camp, his presence a beacon that draws attention effortlessly. 
You pause at the sight of him, your shoes sinking into the golden sand beneath. He stares out towards the desert like you’ve seen him do a thousand times, and you wonder if he’s thinking about what you asked him years ago. Another ordinary night by the fire over your shared meal. 
Why not leave again? Why live in a desert? 
It is my duty. 
So you’re a prisoner of your own status? That seems lonely. 
And with his gaze focused on the fire instead of you, he had given you a simple yet serene response, Not anymore. 
Swallowing thickly, you stand there unmoving, watching him for a while. Something tells you that he’s as aware of you as you are of him. 
Loneliness is not unfamiliar to you. It’s a close companion. Has been for years. 
But you’ve found an escape. People to call your own. A sense of belonging.
He hasn’t. 
“It is peaceful here,” he speaks up suddenly, startling you. “Even as a boy, I loved the desert despite its cruelty. I have grown up appreciating its deadly beauty. Have learned to respect it and admire it.”
“Nothing about death is beautiful.”
A brief chuckle flows through the air and he turns to face you, his expression open, his stare narrowed but inquisitive as always. His laced fingers rest against his chest.  
“Your mind has been sorely missed, viper.”
The longing in those words brushes against your skin and mouth; an invisible kiss, an appreciation. 
You imagine that will change one day soon. 
Though it would be a lie to say that you, too, have not missed your discussions. The way you could submerge yourself in conversations with him completely. Lose yourself in his mind and the challenge he constantly posed. 
“You wished to see me.”
Your words sound lifeless even to your own ears and his expression drops. He strolls closer while you stand rooted in your spot. Something is different about him now. He’s missing that edge he had when he saw you earlier. That desperation. Desire. Near darkness. 
He’s more controlled now. At ease. Back to the man you knew. Earlier he gave into his desire freely, and you suspect it was only due to long years separating you. 
“I’m tempted to come with you,” he divulges quietly, like sharing one more secret, and a shiver tears down your spine at those words. He pauses, exhaling, and twists his ring on his finger for seemingly a hundredth time. You didn’t realise earlier how habitual touching it had become for him. “But I do not wish to take this time away from you. So, ya amar, I present you with this.”
From between the folds of his extravagant robes materialises a golden dagger. Your breaths grow shaky before you force them back into a steady rhythm, lifting your eyes to his. 
“It’s the same one,” you say weakly, your tone questioning. “From before.”
The Elder nods and holds out the dagger in the palm of his hand. It’s the same one he tried to give to you during your first stay here, after your sparring session.   
Same stunning, elegant design laced with gold around the handle. Black sheath edged by crusted golden detail as well. 
“Each of my disciples receives a weapon from me personally upon their initiation,” he tells you, his voice soft and melodic, always happy to sate your curiosity. “This one...is special to me,” his voice lowers, a glimmer passing through his eyes that’s gone too soon to decipher. “It is not official yet but I had hoped that one day it will serve you better than it has me.”
He waits for you to take it but you hesitate, staring at it. Your hand hovers over it, outlining the shape of it with your nail. 
You can still taste him. Like he’s rooted himself inside you now. 
“You told me that you understood me,” you begin cautiously, your voice equally as low. “Understood the vengeance that drove me. How?”
The Elder examines you closely. A pregnant pause stretches between you and you begin to think he will never respond before he finally reaches out. He grasps your hand in his, turning it till your palm faces the sky, and places the dagger deliberately into it. Watching you keenly, he carefully folds your fingers around it, not releasing your hand even when he’s done. 
A faint whisper passes his full lips—and you recognise Darija even if you don’t understand it—but it strikes you as…sad. Plagued with some nameless darkness. 
“One day,” he starts huskily, now in accented English, and you can’t quite read his expression or tone. But it’s some bizarre mix you’ve never seen before. A strain and a shadow all at once while he looks you over. “If you still wish it, I will tell you everything.”
The weight and the finality behind that word makes you shift, uneasy. You’re not sure if there will even be tomorrow—much less one day. 
But before you can voice that, the Elder lifts your joined hands, pressing his mouth gingerly against your skin; a fleeting flutter that warms the flesh. 
“Let this be a token of our shared promise to one another.”
He takes one last look at you, his dark gaze inscrutable, and then you’re left alone with only setting sun for company. 
The dagger in your hand feels like an anchor, and you tip your head backwards, gazing up at the expanse of the sky above. 
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The subway doors hiss open and you lift your head, stepping out onto the platform with other passengers. You’ve spent the majority of the journey here staring at the soles of your shoes, your mind splintering in a thousand directions.
There’s too much to do with time so limited.
Your return to New York had been by air. The Elder’s decision, taking into consideration how you felt about water travel.
It’s funny how you didn’t even need to voice such a thing for him to understand it. For him to make sure that the journey back is as painless as possible.
You’re not sure how John travelled but he did leave first, meaning he should be back in New York already. Until you arrive at the Continental, however, you have no way of knowing for sure.
The fierceness with which you’ve missed your home makes your shoulders lock as you cut through the bustling crowd. It should be said that Grand Central is always busy and overflowing with noise. Today is no exception to that. But you’re still a person at the very top of the Wanted list, so you keep your eyes peeled.
Instinctually, you scan the flow of the crowd around you. Strain every sense. Employ everything you’ve learned from some of the best in this world.
Step by step, turn by turn, staircase by staircase.
This time, he doesn’t catch you off guard.
The mob of people flows around you like a coursing river, hiding you both as you jerk to a mutual stop.
The grip on your wrist is unyielding, painful. The sharpened metal between your fingers trembles under the strain of that grip, and your expression mangles with fury. Acidic, poisonous emotion bubbles up to the surface and you don’t bother hiding it.
The man before you smiles at that—a slight but lovely thing—every micro-expression laced with fine malice.
“Hello, Lucien.”
You stand close enough to be touching, his thin frame still managing to cover your own. Your jaw has become a rigid mass as you glare up at him with open hostility.
“There you are, snakey,” he hums pleasantly, his thin mouth transforming into a slow, chilling smile. You try to push the blade you’re holding into his gut but his numbing grip remains. “I’ve been waiting for you to return. Has he missed you much?”
A couple of friends pass right by you, laughing loudly, and you both jerk again; limbs locking and muscle straining further. Neither of you manages to gain more edge on the other though and Lucien’s smile stretches further.
“And I knew you would find me,” you snarl coldly, your eyes narrowing into slits. “I wanted you to find me.”
Knocking his knee with your own, you swipe another blade free and aim it at him. Lucien pushes himself into you in reply, wrapping his arm around yours and halting you in your tracks. The blade scratches against the sleeve of his black jacket, cutting into it, but it doesn’t break skin past that. He yanks you closer, your bodies pressing against each other. You’re both practically embracing. Your limbs a joined, trembling mass from the sheer friction between you.
It’s a deadlock and you’re too evenly matched.
You’ve been waiting for this chance. For the chance to return the slight that was taking you and wasting precious hours for you over a week ago. Now that you know Santino’s choice is you—that you could have avoided this whole mess in the first place had you just had enough time to talk with him—it only makes you more furious.
You’ve been waiting for Lucien to catch up with you.
This time, however, he’s not the hunter, catching unsuspecting prey.
Baring your teeth, you snarl, wrenching yourself back—
And freeze.
Lucien’s coat parts and this close up a blinking red light catches your eye. As does the beeping your ears hadn’t previously picked up with all the noise.
Lucien’s smile turns downright predatory.
“All these sweet little angels...” he remarks in a sing-song voice, pointedly looking around the crowd, his accent just a little more notable. “Ready to watch them all burn?”
A portable bomb.
You should have known.
There’s no doubt enough packed in it to blow half the building, if not more. He would likely delight in the idea of the carnage even he’s not alive to see it himself.
Your features creasing at that thought, you demand an incredulous, “You would kill yourself just to see me die?”
“I’m already dead,” he replies blankly, the tilt of his voice emotionless. “After all I’ve done, it’s not about survival anymore. It’s about me....and you. And one last dance between us.”
You’re not going to play his games. Despite the confusion his words birth, you only allow a chilly, tepid smile to grace your face. Mocking him openly.
“Then catch me if you can.”
You sweep your foot under his legs. Swift and brutal. Lucien doesn’t fall but he does stumble half-a-step back, and you rip yourself out of his grip, dashing through the throng of people.
You’re not running blindly.
He enjoys the chase and you know he will follow but it’s not fear or desperation leading you this time.
People curse and holler as you shove them out of your way, throwing a few purposely in Lucien’s path. You don’t slow down to check if he’s following.
Every trained instinct in your body is screaming at you that he is.
You should have known he would try to use the people at the station against you. Use your close proximity to each other against you too. He’s learned of the dangers you pose at close combat.
But he’s not the only one to have learned something from your previous encounters.
Focused entirely on your rapidly forming plan, you tear out of Grand Central, the cool air of New York greeting you like an old friend.
Streets blur around you and your heart pumps inside your chest as you round the corner, stumbling. Wind beats against your cheeks and you ignore your harsh breaths, leading Lucien deeper into the heart of the city.
And it’s not his city.
You know every nook and cranny of this concrete anthill.
Skidding and stumbling, you throw yourself behind a building wall, pressing your back against it.
Your lungs quiver, heart pumping, and throat aching from the outright sprint you’ve just done.
Lucien should assume the obvious.
That you’re leading him back to the Continental at neck-breaking speed. As you did once before. And you are but not just yet. There’s something you have to handle first.
It takes no longer than ten seconds for the commotion to explode from the direction you just came from. Just as expected.
Lucien’s pounding footsteps reach your ears and your arch your back, readying yourself.
A smear of golden hair enters your vision and you throw yourself at him, slashing at his side.
No wires attached to the bomb that you saw. The Lovers are too sophisticated for anything as inelegant and rudimentary as that. Which makes this bomb either remotely detonatable or Lucien has other means by which to set it off.
Which then means that all you need to do is to rip that portion of his coat off him.
You’re not about to lead him back to your home with a bomb on him.
Lucien crashes onto the concrete sidewalk heavily, you on top of him. His knee drives into your gut and you wince, your fingers tangling into his jacket so he doesn’t slip out of your grip. You manage to hold on, hacking against the coarse material wildly. His features contort, realisation as to what you’re trying to do sinking in.
He throws a punch at you but you duck, ignoring his fingers when they sink into your hair, trying to yank you off him. People around you scream as you roll across the concrete, scattering the moment they realise you’re armed.
You have no intention of killing Lucien outright.
He deserves to reap the consequences of his actions just like the rest of you. If there’s anyone who deserves to be punished for all of this, it’s him. And you will see to it. Lead him back to the Continental and trap him inside like a rat in a maze.  
See what the Black Dragon does when you offer their little pet as a sacrificial lamb for the High Table.
He yanks on your hair but you swipe upwards, scratching your blade against his skin and he barks a laugh. Few droplets of blood slide down his porcelain skin and you stumble back, staggering onto your feet.
Lucien’s jacket is in tatters and he grabs it, yanking it off himself, and throws it carelessly to one side. You tense when it hits the ground but nothing happens. You’re not quite sure if it’s just that durable or if it was a fake-out—both seem equally as likely. “You’re no fun,” he pouts, watching his hand curiously. Ruby droplets well where you have torn into his skin, and he swipes his tongue across the skin lazily, unconcerned. “But fair enough.”
“You and me,” you grit out, glaring down at him as you back up, rolling the blade between your digits with expert ease. He stretches to his full height, too, towering, cracking his neck as he does so. “Let’s dance.”
You peel away, him a second behind you. You know how fast he is and pump your legs till the muscles in your thighs burn from exertion.
You’re surprised he’s not trying to shoot you like last time but maybe that’s the point. He doesn’t want a quick death for you just like you don’t want to kill him till he’s been punished.
Night blurs around you and your eyes narrow in concentration, keeping ahead but just barely. You can hear him right behind you, practically breathing down your neck.
Motorcycles suddenly rev behind you but you don’t dare to risk turning around to check. There’s more than one engine. Which doesn’t bode well for you.
Leaping down the stairwell, you cut through an underground pass. The tunnel amplifies every sound and you hear Lucien’s pounding footsteps behind you. He’s gaining on you.
Sweat clings to the back of your neck, your cheeks stinging from heat and the cold alike.
You take three steps at a time, jumping up the staircase on the other side of the tunnel in a manner of seconds. It takes several moments before motorcycles sound from behind you again—they clearly know the route enough to know about the shortcuts—but you don’t let it shatter your concentration.
The staircase of the Continental appears in your vision, so dear and welcoming—
A weight slams into you from behind and you wince as you both roll across the ground; a wild tangle of limbs.
Scrambling, you punch him right across the jaw before he can get a solid grip on you. Your knuckles twinge with pain but it barely registers. Lucien’s head snaps to the side but he manages to grab your wrists, pinning them to the ground, before you can yank a blade loose.
You drive your knee into his ribs. Once, twice.
Lucien takes it like he can hardly feel it. Teeth gleaming, bared. His grip tightens on you again—there will be bruises there tomorrow without a doubt—and you roll in a mangled mess once more. Two animals snapping their teeth at each other. The motorcycles draw closer down the street and you squirm when he tries to pin you down again. For being so thin, his strength is impressive. Worrying.
He wants to play games. But you’re far, far more furious than he is.
Your head cracks against his forehead, momentarily blinding and deafening you. Lucien falls back. Wobbling, you do the same. Everything is static noise—one moment, two, then you force yourself to move. Vision swimming, you kick at his abdomen blindly. There’s contact and rolling onto your stomach, you hurriedly scramble onto your feet.
A roar of engines hums through the night air, closing in, and you leap onto the stone stairs ahead of you, gripping onto the concrete.
Safe haven. Home.
Your head slants to look behind you; a victorious, vicious smile spreading across your face even though your forehead hums with numbing pain.
Lucien approaches slowly, a hunter on a prowl. His slick back hair is in a disarray. Flecks of his own blood splattered across his face.
He looks murderous despite the deformed smile still splintering his mouth.
Motorcycles come to a stop behind him and you recognise those dark uniforms anywhere. Black Dragon’s men—just as you suspected.
You rise to your feet, deliberate but cautious, taking count of the men present. Foot soldiers are hardly a reason for concern. A certain blonde with his raging stare most certainly is though.
“No one interferes,” Lucien orders, directing his words at the men behind him. “This is between me and—”
“Us.”
Your heart stills for a second before exploding in a wild flutter inside your chest.
You don’t turn around but hear the hotel door behind you crack open, followed by footsteps.
Lucien’s expression morphs with cold viciousness in the face of the new company.
Dario and Julian walk past you first, coming to a stop at the foot of the stairs, effectively blocking Lucien’s path. The Sharpshooter has his twin pistols gripped firmly in each hand, his usually friendly demeanour absent. Only the Camorra’s best stares back; focused and grim. Dario is no better with his arms folding over his broad chest the moment he halts, seemingly only amplifying his domineering presence. He reminds you of a growling grizzly bear, waiting for the slightest of provocations.
Step comes to a standstill beside you, nudging you with his elbow, and you dare to momentarily look away from Lucien to see his grinning face. He wiggles his eyebrows, his round sunglasses still on his face before he leaps down the last several steps. He lands noisily just behind Julian, laughing softly under his breath.
“Whatever issue you have with our boss,” Dario speaks solemnly, his usually warm, rumbling voice void of those things. “We would caution you to forget about it.”
“Get out of my way,” Lucien hisses lowly, his lips barely moving. “This doesn’t concern you.”
Julian raises his pistols at blinding speed at those words, pointing them directly at Lucien’s face. The Dragon’s men unholster their weapons in response but despite being outnumbered at least one to two, the Elites don’t appear concerned.
You’re not sure if you’re still breathing.
“We would rather not kill you,” Step chirps happily, leaning his elbow on Julian’s shoulder, before adding a downright chilling, “But we will.”
Lucien’s expression smoothens, growing remote in its emptiness. His hollow stare drags up till it latches onto you—cold and unforgiving, two black holes.
“You know you can’t hide from me, viper,” he whispers yet his low, throaty words carry through the night air all the same. The Elites don’t so much as blink; an impenetrable wall of defence. “We have unfinished business, you and I.”
“Were they not clear enough for you, huh?”
Your eyes nearly close when the final pair of footsteps comes to a stop beside you. Your attention doesn’t waver but you hear the click of a lighter beside you. It’s followed a second later by a soft crinkle of a smouldering cigarette as Hector draws a deep, tobacco-induced breath into his lungs.
“She’s our boss,” he declares roughly and you feel your throat close up at his frank statement. “Which means that you really don’t want to start this,” a pointed pause, and another hard inhale of a cigarette before, “So why don’t you go and blow a load into your girlfriend and stop wasting our damn time.”
The atmosphere thickens with tension at Hector’s crass words but you don’t look away from Lucien.
The blonde slants his head, curious. He regards Hector like a bug; an odd, unusual being that makes no sense to him. Like his words are spoken in a foreign language the assassin doesn’t quite comprehend.
“Boss,” Lucien echoes softly, making a fine mockery of the word, as he takes a few deliberate steps closer. “Is that suppose to mean something to me?”
The threat in his lovely voice snaps Julian’s hand to one side, the barrel of his gleaming silver pistol pressing into Lucien’s temple just as the tall man places his foot on the Continental staircase.  
“Julian, don’t!” you warm loudly and the Sharpshooter freezes at your command. “It’s what he wants,” you add bitterly, turning your stare towards the blonde who appears completely unconcerned to have a fully loaded weapon digging into his head.
His smug smile stretches, quivering at the corners, his stare almost playful, goading.
Julian obeys, his arm lowering slightly but his pistol remains trailed on the French assassin. The man in question takes his time, deliberately climbing one step at the time, and Hector lowers his smouldering cigarette. He’s on your right, standing between you and Lucien but the blonde hardly seems to notice that when he comes to a halt, still watching you intently.
“Yeah, it really should,” Hector says deliberately, his voice dipping towards seriousness and warning.
Dario and Step are still watching the Dragon’s men closely while Julian has turned with Lucien, his pistols still locked onto the man. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen the Sharpshooter as anything other than grinning and relaxed.
Lucien drags his gaze away from you at long last, his attention switching to the leader of Elites beside you, and you feel the suffocating tension in the air as they both stare each other down.
“I hold no loyalties to anyone for you to threaten me with fancy titles, dog,” the blonde remarks, his voice light, almost friendly, his attention once again returning to you. “But I’ll see you inside, snakey.”
You don’t answer him, choosing to glare right at him and nothing more than that. The lack of reaction seems to dissatisfy him, his lips pressing into a firm, unhappy line. He reaches for you—
Hector grabs his extended hand with near blinding speed, crushing his wrist in an ironlike grip as he jerks Lucien’s hand backwards, holding him back.
Everyone tenses and Dario pulls his own weapons free when the Dragon’s men try to push closer.
“Let me rephrase that,” Hector hisses quietly, his words thick with warning—no boredom or indifference to be found in his voice now. “She’s ours. You so much as lay a hand on her and I’ll cut it off and feed it to you.”
The French assassin grins in return, chuckling, his fist clenched to a point his knuckles strain beneath his pale skin. Hector’s grip only tightens though, the ink of his tattoos highlighted by the lights above.
“You got that?” he stresses viciously. “Or was I being too obtuse, you bleached French fuck.”
He throws Lucien’s arm back at him and the man’s expression sharpens with a savage sort of rage. Aside from his stormy, narrowed stare, it’s near impossible to tell that Lucien is displeased though. His features might as well be cut from marble.
“You remind me of someone I knew once,” Lucien muses, still grinning though it looks no better than a sharpened blade. “He too was an arrogant, blunt tool to be used.”
The blonde hums mockingly, looking Hector up and down.
“Get lost,” he calls out loudly, slanting his head—something so harsh in the motion you half-expect to hear his neck crack—toward the Dragon’s men. “I don’t need you here.”
Confusion follows those words but Lucien only cuts one last look your way before strolling calmly into the hotel.
You’re not going to stop him because he’s exactly where you need him to be. He will stay to try and wait you out. Which is exactly what you want and need. Time.
Biting back a grin, you briefly glance at Hector who meets your inquisitive stare and turns towards the Dragon’s men who look unsure as to what they should do.
“Are you deaf?” he snaps loudly. “Get lost.”
Step moves first, bouncing up the stairs till he’s right in front of you. He parts his arms, waiting for you to show if you’re in the headspace to be touched and…
You wrap your arms around him—near crushing and strong, squeezing his wiry frame to you with all the strength you possess inside your body. The hacker’s arms lock equally as tightly around you despite Hector’s snort.
“We’ve been worried about you, carina,” he mumbles against your cooling neck, and you watch Dragon’s men clearing the entrance of the hotel over his shoulder. “Everything’s gone to hell.”
“We should take this inside,” Dario speaks up, finally lowering his weapons, and Julian does the same though his grip on them doesn’t loosen. “It’s not safe for you out here, V.”
You release Step from your death grip with a nod and a pat on his shoulder. He flashes you a quick smile but it looks strained. They all look tense, grim-faced, and tired. Still deadly though, and focused as always.
Julian opens the glass doors and steps inside, his pistol raised like he expects Lucien to leap at you from the shadows.
The hour is late and the reception area, for once, feels eerily quiet. No Lucien in sight though.
You haven’t even noticed how they’ve positioned themselves around you. Hector is still on your right, Julian at the front and Dario taking the rear while Step’s arm ghosts on your left.
Your throat aches, something coiling inside your heart.
You feel…
Protected. Safe.
It robs you of speech for a solid minute—that realisation.
You’ve lived with them for a year. Ate, trained and bled with them. But it feels different now for some reason you can’t explain.
You’ve grown so used to fighting your battles alone that having someone on your side feels surreal.
Even more surprising is Hector’s compliance. You hadn’t expected him to fall into the role of your temporary right hand so easily. Or to be as open about your position, and his by extension, at your side. You hadn’t even expected him to stand in defence of you, unlike the other three.
But Hector has always valued Camorra above all else. Personal prejudices aside, he will always do his duty. It is, perhaps, the one thing you’ve always admired the most about him. His unfailing loyalty.
If you died now it would only cause further chaos and headaches for him.
Seeing all of them again, however, fills you with such immense relief you can hardly speak.
“Santino?” is the first thing you manage to wheeze out. “Ares? Roberto? How—how are they?”
With each step, you shed your momentarily lapse reminding yourself that this is no time to feel sentimental.
Hector answers you promptly, as would be expected of him, “Princeling woke up several hours ago,” he states calmly and you notice that he no longer has his cigarette. He must have dropped it outside. Despite that, your sensitive nose still catches a whiff of tobacco every time his lips part. “Ares is with him. Roberto is stable.”
You practically stumble to a stop. “He woke up?” you whisper, your voice breathy with fragile hope.
Hector’s stare is critical but lacking his usual irritating superiority. Surprisingly. “Yeah, asked after you,” he reveals bluntly, and you can feel others monitoring your reaction to those words. “He thought Wick killed you.”
Your heart clenches painfully at that.
He got shot in the head and his first worry when he woke up had been you?
But the knowledge that he has regained consciousness, had been coherent enough to even speak, nearly crumbles your self-control again. Relief churning through your veins is immeasurable. Dizzying.
You want to demand a thousand things but instead push yourself to focus, “We have to move him to the penthouse. Immediately.”
One of Hector’s eyebrows arches at that. But it’s Dario that speaks first, “Why?”
You glance between the four of them silently. No one else seems to be around. In the distance, even the reception desk sits empty, and it’s the first time in seven years that you’ve seen it unmanned.
What’s going on? Where is Charon?
“Because she’s not here,” you tell them, still slightly out of breath due to your earlier sprint, and your words soften with bitterness. “The Female Lover. Divide and conquer seems to be the most logical course for them to follow now.”
It would make sense. Split attacks and lay traps. Force your hand with pitting Lucien against you because they no doubt know that Santino is being kept safe between these walls. Put danger right here on your doorstep so you are forced to act.
The Four exchange wary looks and you note them at once.
“We already moved boss,” Julian informs you before you can ask, his strong eyebrows curving and feet shuffling. You can almost hear the grimace in his voice. “Right after the visit from an Adjudicator earlier. We figured it was no longer safe for him to stay since they demanded to see him.”
“Don’t look so surprised, sweetheart,” Hector mutters under his breath, folding his arms with a slight roll of his eyes. “Some of us are actually good at doing our jobs. Removing him from the Table’s direct jurisdiction was the best thing to do at the time.”
“Then where the hell is he?”
Step winces. “The penthouse,” he tells you and immediately lifts his hand in a pacifying manner while your eyes close. “But Flavio and others are with him. He’s protected. He was moved discreetly. No one saw a thing. I was watching all the cameras myself.”
Biting back a sigh, you mull over his words and huff a breath. “Then why are you not with him?”
“Because once Mr Wick arrived here in a rather…loud manner,” Dario begins and your attentions slides to him. “We knew you will not be far behind. With trouble likely on your heels. We had no way of contacting you and splitting up would have drawn too much attention. Step worked entire day trying to pin the Lovers down to one location but they kept popping up all over the city. They’ve been circling.”
So they stayed here to keep enemy eyes pinned on the hotel, giving them time to move Santino in secret.
Sometimes you forget how brilliant they are.
“They were waiting for me to come back,” you assume.
Dario inclines his head, his stare firm, and strong eyebrows curved. “Our duty is to protect you as well, V.”
Your blink at those resolute words, caught off guard.
Step is grinning cheekily but the other two stand with sombre air surrounding them. Hector’s expression is stony but he doesn’t disagree, either.
Before you can thank them or say anything else, a realisation slices through you like a bolt of lightning. A sickly feeling of quicksand gobbles you up in a matter of seconds, and you battle down the urge to kick something.
“Circling,” you repeat numbly, nearly biting your tongue because you already know the answer before you bother continuing. “Anywhere near the penthouse?”
You direct that question at Step and the latter stills, his grin wilting. “Closest ping I got was four blocks out.”
“Fuck.”
Your head slants backwards and you bite out an even more vicious, “Fuck.”
“V?”
Your head drops back and your expression is no doubt unforgiving. “Get to the penthouse right now,” you order, not even bothering to make it sound like a request. “This is their plan. For me to get here so she has the go-ahead to attack while Santino is alone. They’ve been waiting for you to move him. They knew you did. That’s why the male Lover let it go. Why he’s not here right now.”
Lucien is no doubt putting their plan into motion. Dismissing Dragon’s men was about giving you a false sense of security.
“What about you?” Julian wonders quietly though his tone doesn’t lack urgency. Dario already has his phone pressed to his ear, no doubt calling the security at the penthouse.
You want to go.
You…
“I can’t,” you choke out even though it kills you to admit it. “If I go, I lead Lucien and god knows who else straight back to Santino.”
The Lovers are no doubt hoping for that outcome. But you can keep them separated too. Weaken them. It just means trusting the Elites with Santino’s life completely. They will be taking the brunt of Mika’s and the Black Dragon’s attack.
You look towards Hector but find him already gazing at you, his harsh features drawn into a pensive expression. His eyebrows sit contracted into a tight line and his eyes go to Step.
Dario’s muffled murmurs cease then, and he lifts his head, ending the call with a single touch against the glowing screen. “There’s been nothing so far but…”
“Can you isolate any incoming attacks?” Hector demands and Step pulls out his phone the moment those words leave the leader’s mouth, scrolling and tapping rapidly. “Get to the penthouse. Julian call the rest of the men. The ruse is up. Tell everyone to get their asses there right now or I’ll kill them myself. Go.”
It’s a testament to how much they trust each other that they move as one—not questions asked—only pausing monetarily before you, and it takes you a full second to realise that they’re waiting for your approval.
Right. You’re their boss. Even if only temporarily.
You nod twice; shaky and a touch frantic.
“Capo.”
You’re not even sure which one of them says it, or if it’s all of them in unison, but a shiver tingles down your neck all the same.
Hector hesitates, still standing rooted in his spot, his stare probing but he doesn’t make a sound until the hurried footsteps of the other Elites fade.
“You’re planning to go after him.”
It’s a statement, direct and shrewd, and you see no reason to deny it. “Promise me you will kill her,” you insist sternly, your eyes meeting for a charged moment. “Don’t let her touch him.”
Hector strolls past you, his hands in his pockets. “Consider it done,” he shoots back flatly, pausing beside you once again but doesn’t turn towards you. You simply stand shoulder to shoulder in the empty lobby. “Something else is going on here. The Frenchie isn’t the only one you should watch out for. Some bald asshole followed Wick, and this Adjudicator seems a little rule happy and not in a good way,” he concludes pointedly.
“It doesn’t matter,” you respond mildly, your voice vacant and low, distant. “They can’t touch me. No one can now.”
The dagger against your side feels like it’s scorching into your skin.
Hector turns to face you at that but you don’t do the same. His weighty stare digs into your temple for several moments but you ignore it. Expectation hangs heavy in the air between you but you don’t explain yourself further. There is no point.
He scoffs under his breath, managing to sound as dismissive and derisive as always. The nearby heat of his looming frame disappears, his footsteps echoing against the marble as he saunters away.
But the way he had the foresight to move Santino nags at you, as do his actions outside on that staircase only minutes prior.
And—
“Hector?”
His footsteps fade into a stop, and you turn your face towards him.
“What now, sweetheart?” he calls out impatiently, peering at you over his shoulder as well. “Want a back rub with all of that?”
Normally something like that would have angered you, dug under your skin, pissed you off. Now though…
“Thank you.”
He doesn’t outwardly react to your words, not even a twitch of his facial muscles. He only stares at you for a long minute completely silent. You’re not quite sure what to make of that reaction.
“Whatever.”
His back disappears through the door leading outside and you turn back towards the reception desk.
Time to get some answers.
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You hear him before you see him.
The dog leaps at you with a happy bark, his tongue lolling to one side when he lifts his nose eager to give you kisses.
His presence here shocks you but only because you know for a fact that the Continental doesn’t do animal boarding. Everything lately has felt like an avalanche of one thing after another that you haven’t stopped to think about what may or may not have happened to him. Or where he might be staying after John’s home was destroyed.
Despite not seeing him in a few weeks, he seems no less thrilled to see you.
“Hey, Cheeseburger,” you greet with the first genuine smile in a week, your features softening. You bend down to pet him, rubbing behind his ears and he only tries to lick you with more fervour, a happy doggy grin splitting his face. “Have you been good?”
A small bark escapes him, tail wagging so quickly it’s a blur, and your smile grows.
“Miss.”
Your eyes skip ahead, and relief whispers through your chest, an invisible coil loosening when you spot Charon standing ahead of you. As always his posture is bowstring straight, his suit pressed neatly, and eyes watchful over his glasses.
“Charon.”
You’ve missed him. So dearly. Seeing his face is like a much-needed balm against your tattered nerves.
His voice is as low and soothing as always when he offers a cordial, “Welcome back.”
His words might as well be an embrace and your smile wobbles momentarily. There has been a large part of you that was convinced you would never see him or Winston again.
You try not to think about your deal now. About leaving just when you got them back. Right now all that matters is that you’re here.
Still stroking Cheeseburger’s head, you stand back to your feet, ignoring the twinge of discomfort in your muscles when you do.
“It’s good to be back.”
Charon starts approaching you but a voice cuts in before he can say anything else.
“The Vipress.”
Your smile slides off your face when a short, bald man with a fixed smile and a wide-eyed stare appears from behind the concierge.
Hector’s warning springs to mind at once, and your eyes briefly flicker towards Charon whose expression remains impassive. A certain strain—disdain, even—can still be found in his overall bearing, however.  
Charon is not one to dislike people often, and certainly not openly. Though to most he would no doubt appear as detached and professional as always you can tell the difference. You’ve known him for years after all.  
“Do we know each other?” you wonder neutrally, your palm ghosting over a concealed blade despite the no-business rule. Not a scowl or even a whisper of a frown shows but your voice slides into something apathetic all the same.
The man dressed in all black wanders closer. His stance is relaxed, expression friendly, but you see the assessing gleam in his eyes, the brittle—almost mean—edge to his slight grin. It makes you feel like he’s in on some joke you’re missing out on.
Despite being on the shorter side and his near deceptive demeanour, you don’t fail to take count of the precise way he moves—a trained, likely deadly individual, and your attention settles on him like a sharpened blade against his throat.
Though your body language doesn’t outright change, you know he, too, notes the shift in you in those several seconds that pass between him stopping just a little ahead of you.
Cheeseburger licks your fingers—blissfully ignorant of the uneasy atmosphere—and you drag your fingertips over his head tenderly.  
“No,” the man answers shortly, still smiling what he no doubt hopes to be a friendly smile though it hardly is. “But I know of you. Tokyo still remembers your name.”
Your heart stutters for a single second, feeling the slice of those calm, unassuming words. But you can tell from the way his lips flutter just slightly that he chose his words carefully. A deliberate dig and he examines your reaction closely, so you show him nothing.
The man ventures closer yet again, seemingly encouraged by whatever he sees, and extends his gloved hand your way. “But where are my manners? I am Zero.”
His hand hangs in the air between you and Charon’s stare settles on you. He doesn’t interfere though, or comments.
Not taking his hand would be rude but expected. People know of your aversion to touching strangers. However, it would also put you on a backfoot after his previous dig, and the last thing you want is someone that worries even Hector to smell weakness.
With that in mind, you slot your smaller hand into his, your grips equally as constrictive, “Good to meet you,” you say, your voice bland, dropping his hand after another forced twitch of your lips. “Now if you excuse—”
“I was still in training when you killed Kishi of Tokyo,” he declares loudly, freezing you mid-turn, and your eyes meet Charon’s again before you look back at the newcomer. You’re not quite sure what to make of his strange stare or fragmented little smile. “We knew each other. But not much,” he continues, no doubt purposely ignoring your disinterested, borderline hostile stare. “Maybe I should express my gratitude. If it were not for you, I would not be what I am today.”
He even bows his head. Like you’re his comrade. Like you’re one and the same.
Still, you say nothing, and Zero chuckles loudly before it cuts off abruptly. A new gleam glows in his eyes, and it doesn’t surprise you when Charon comes to a stop beside you. The concierge cuts for a silent but foreboding figure all the same.
Zero’s expression twists with amusement upon spotting that silent gesture, and he presses his hand over his chest. “You’ll have to forgive me, I’m a bit—what do they say—a little starstruck,” he apologizes but it feels more like oil on your skin followed by another gleaming smile. “Meeting the John Wick and the Vipress in a span of a single night. Legend of the old and legend of the new. The shadow that hides the snake—that’s what they still say about you two.”
You work hard to not let anything slip. You’ve known about your legacy in Tokyo for some time now—your and John’s both. You did what no one has done before. Escaped. Survived. John slaughtered his way through Kishi’s men to make sure no one ever followed you back.
It didn’t change much in the end. That nightmare of a man—his phantom, at least—still haunts you to this day. It chills the blood in your veins to be standing out here now and be discussing him so openly. Especially with someone who supposedly knew him.
You’re not sure if you’re strong enough to engage with this conversation. There’s only so many ghosts you can handle in such a short span of time.
“I wish to see the manager,” you announce instead, your stare not leaving the assassin before you.
There is a flare of fury at the dismissal but it’s brief, and once it passes, it leaves a man that reminds you of a mannequin—deflated and lacking life, formless like a ghost.
“Sir and Mr Wick are currently meeting in the administrative lounge, Miss,” Charon answers promptly but then adds a deliberate, “The manager, however, has expressed his desire to see you at once upon your return.”
Even if Winston hadn’t, something tells you that Charon would have said that regardless. Like you know him, he knows you. He understands perfectly well how shadows of your past belong there. Rattling them now would be dangerous.
Nodding, you force yourself to keep a polite facade, the assassin receiving a rather forced, “Mr Zero.”
Certainly the best he could hope for. Or should. Still, you feel proud of yourself for managing to contain yourself. For not letting him bait you into action because he no doubt was hoping for a reaction, perhaps even a confrontation. That would be easy, expectant.
Zero doesn’t look pleased about the outcome of the conversation at all. His easy-going, faux adoring demeanour splintering around the edges. The man before you tries to hold the pieces together but you notice the cracks all the same.
Lowering your chin, you raise your palm towards Cheeseburger, “Stay.”
The dog releases a small whine at the order but does as he’s told, sitting back on his hind legs, his ears perked up. That alone almost brings another smile to your face.
Your arm drops back to your side and you offer Charon another look that says a silent keep an eye on him.
Your footsteps echo as you cut through the hallways of the hotel, passing a few faces as you do. Zero doesn’t follow and you’re glad for it—for some reason, a part of you had expected him to.
Throughout your journey, you feel eyes tracking you. No one says anything or moves towards you though. You half expect Lucien to leap at you from every shadowed corner but he’s nowhere to be seen. You want to worry that maybe he truly did leave the hotel and hightailed it for the penthouse but it won’t be logical for him to miss out on this chance.
Lucien’s interest—fixation—with you has always felt deeply personal. More than a simple job or a hit. It never felt like he took as much interest in Santino as he did in you. Certainly surprising considering that from you two, it’s Santino with the biggest power reserve behind him. Enough to crush the Lovers if he came into his power as he now has. You’ve thought about this once before but maybe then you had things wrong.
Despite you being the bigger physical threat, removing Santino first would have been more logical. It would have isolated you. Left you without support.
Lucien never showed much eagerness in Santino’s removal aside from making an occasional threat to rile you up from the start.
Why?
Is it truly just conviction that you are alike? An obsessive there can only be one mentality?
With that thought lodged like a splinter inside your mind, you step into the elevator, shoving the partition roughly with a metallic click.
The elevator jolts when you press the appropriate floor button, falling back against the metal wall on your journey.
Everything is so loud it’s somehow quiet. Or maybe you’ve just gotten better at ignoring it.
It’s a short trip and when the elevator halts you pull the metal partition slowly this time, perking your ears for any unusual sounds.
There’s nothing.
You’ve never liked the administrative lounge much. Unlike the rest of the hotel that’s always oozed an old, rustic charm, this space has always felt cold and clinical on the few, rare occasions you visited Winston up here. Frankly, it’s never been the type of place you enjoyed visiting then, and you don’t suspect that will change any time soon.
The neon laser lights and glass as far as the eye can see. Visually it’s a masterpiece of architecture but it always made you feel uneasy. Like a rat caught in a crystal maze. Being back here now reminds you eerily of the gallery you had to chase John through, nearly losing everyone dear to you in the process.
Grabbing a blade from a secure sown-in compartment inside your coat, you move up the staircase soundlessly.
It doesn’t take long for faint, muffled voices to reach you. Slowing down further, you approach one step at a time. With each step, Winston’s calm baritone becomes clearer. You stop abruptly when his words start registering properly.
“—but you’re having doubts?” he calls out, sounding knowing and in control like usual. “Because you know that she will never forgive you if you do this. Will never let you into her heart again. She’s the only thing you still have left to lose,” he goes on, and your eyes widen when you realise who exactly he’s discussing. What the hell is going on? You know he’s talking to John but… “This is all assuming she can find it in herself to forgive you for your actions in regards to one Santino D’Antonio in the first place.”
You can’t see them from here. You’re above them by at least an entire flight of see-through glass stairs. Shifting your weigh, you move closer, holding your breath and sinking lower towards the ground to not alert them of your presence.
“I understand perfectly well, Johnathan, this is nothing personal,” Winston continues and for once you truly find yourself hating how calm he sounds. You’ve never seen the manager caught off guard. It’s everyone else he outmanoeuvres with expert ease. But personal? What’s personal? “If you feel like you must. Put a bullet through my heart. The High Table has asked me to step down one way or another.”
You almost stumble.
What?
It’s then that a memory springs forward. Of the tent. John’s conflicted expression and his words.
Elder gave you time to say goodbye but you had to make a deal. What if John had to make one too? He mentioned a task; a task he never got time to explain further. Only a vague mention of one.
But he had wanted to, you realise with sinking dread, the moment he saw you, he wanted to.
John’s punishment—his true punishment—is sacrificing his oldest friend in a show of fealty to the Table and killing him.
The lukewarm metal between your digits nearly falls to the ground at that realisation.  
But why—
“The hour?” John’s gruff voice speaks at long last.
A distracted hum, then confirmation, “The hour.”
“You should have killed me when you had the chance,” John says bluntly. “Killed us both.”
You gnash your teeth together, feeling the grind of bone inside your skull as you slink closer, taking it one stair at a time. Unhurried and precise. Just how John himself taught you.
Distantly, you hear Winston agree followed by muted footsteps against the gleaming floor. Is he moving away from John or towards him?
“In the years you’ve been away, Johnathan, I have come to learn that loyalty is a peculiar thing,” the manager muses, his voice thoughtful, but you hear the deliberateness he puts into each word he speaks. There is an odd quietness to his voice though—the type of you’ve only heard a handful of times. “Hard to earn, quick to break,” a long pause supersede those words and you come to a standstill as well, straining your ears. “But not always. It can sometimes be obtained by the most unlikely of individuals during the most unlikely of times.”
You’re not quite sure what exactly John gleans from those words but he does seem to take away something you miss. “You’re not stepping down, are you?”
“No,” Winston states evenly. “I don’t think I am.”
“So it’s war,” John declares, sounding just as bewildered as you feel, and you know it’s a rarity for him to let his emotions slip so easily. But this is… “You’re going to war with the High Table.”
Once you had joked about it. You were left cranky after yet another job for Tarasov, and had come back to the Continental worn after days of dealing with less than hospitable conditions. Winston had listened to your rant like usual.
What if I just killed Tarasov now?
Newspaper and brandy in hand, Winston’s reply had been unamused, You get killed.
Not if you help me. You and I, I bet we could take the Table on.
It was a joke back then. Nothing more than a throwaway, snarky remark you had made as a way to alleviate some pent up stress. A momentarily reprieve from the helplessness you’ve always felt in the face of your circumstances. It’s one of the few things that has helped you stay sane over the years.
It was long before you met the Elder and learned you could kill Tarasov without consequences once the debt was repaid.
It’s only now that you realise that Winston never did give you a response to that offhand statement. Joke or otherwise.
It’s only now that you stupidly realise that the idea of war shouldn’t surprise you at all. That perhaps deep in your bones you always knew there was a possibility of one.
Maybe Winston’s dedication to upholding rules and order always blinded you to the fact that despite that obedience he wasn’t afraid of them.
That which terrifies others—everyone, even you and John—has never affected the manager in the same manner.
He’s not afraid of the High Table. Or to move against them if he sees fit.
“I’ve made my decision. A long time ago now,” Winston remarks, and you edge closer, catching the first glimpse of him through the crack in the stairwell. “Back when I had to watch Charon carry a dying girl through the very halls of this fine establishment. A girl that you left behind. And now, it’s time for you to choose as well.”
Oh.
You’ve always privately considered Winston and Charon to be your family. One you weren’t quite allowed to have but chose for yourself despite how foolishly sentimental it was. A bond that was forged through years of knowing each other. Struggling together. Practically living together.
It never once crossed your mind that it was a feeling returned at least to some degree.
That alone makes you look at the entire conversation you’ve just heard in a new light.
“Choose what?”
Winston stands in front of John, his hand extended towards the assassin. In the manager’s weathered hand—a fine mockery of a week ago when he first declared you both Excommunicado, and even worse, of the Elder offering you the golden dagger at your side—sits a pistol.
The older man gives John a shrewd stare, and if you didn’t know any better you would say that he’s disappointed John is not catching on quicker.
“Oh, but you already know,” he states flatly, moving his hand in a vague motion. “It’s the same choice you’ve been struggling for the last five years now. Between who you are and who you wish to be. You kill me, you sell your soul to the Table.”
All you can see is the back of John’s head, his crop of black hair standing out like a dark spot against the glossy, blue tint of the lounge.
He thinks about Winston’s words for a bit.
“But I also live and remember Helen.”
Once those words might have caused a burn of pain but now all you feel is a nudge of sadness and a joyless sort of understanding. You’ve accepted the fact that there will always be a part of John that will always love Helen.
You’ve just hoped…
“Helen loved you, John. She truly did,” the manager agrees, something just a touch warmer to be heard in his intonation. “And you love her. You only came back because she was taken from you. But she’s also gone and she’s not coming back. You go ahead with this and you lose V forever, and I know that alone is stopping you.”
There is a scathing sort of finality to the last part and John’s slightly lowered head lifts.
“So I guess my question to you, then, is who do you wish to die as?” Winston asks though it does sound like a fine line between an inquiry of genuine curiosity and an authoritative demand. “Baba Yaga. The living nightmare and the last thing so many have seen. The servant of the High Table. Or as a man who was—and likely still is—loved by two wonderful women.”
John doesn’t move or say anything. That heaviness hangs across his shoulders, burdening him with yet another choice.
The problem is the fact that what you told him back at the desert still applies.
You don’t trust his word. You’ve been burned too harshly by recent events to do so.
With that in mind, you drop your guise, walking the remainder of the stairs with deliberate heaviness. Purpose.
Both men turn at the sound of your advancing footsteps. The former’s expression lightens, a clever gleam catching your eye. John looks weary, almost like he’s readying himself for another battle, another storm that is your raging fury.
You have little appetite for that though.
Too much is going on right now. The Elites could be battling against the Female Lover and the Black Dragon’s men right now. You need to find Lucien and figure out a way to keep him here. Inform the High Table. Find out who started this hunt in the first place. Who knows about Chicago.
“Winston.”
A slight smile ghosts over the manager’s face. “Welcome home.”
It hurts.
Because it feels so good to hear him say that. To feel welcome and missed. Even if you know it’s as much about drawing that line in the sand for John—an unspoken You vs Us.
John doesn’t fail to take count of the blade in your hand, neither does Winston.
A suspended kind of silence shrouds you three. If John really thinks that you will let him—
Footsteps.
You all turn in the direction of a tall, graceful figure clad in all black moving briskly down the steps.
The icy blue stare and black, short-cropped hair are all unfamiliar to you.
“Mr Wick and Miss Vipress,” the newcomer greets in a cool and collected manner, gripping a pair of leather gloves in one hand. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you both. I’m an Adjudicator.”
Shit. Of course they are. It makes sense for one to come and adjudicate the hotel after John shot Santino at practically point-blank range inside these very walls.
The hour.
Winston overstepped his position by offering you that hour. By helping you and John out.
Now he’s paying for it.
When neither you nor John say anything in return, their head slants in Winston’s direction, unperturbed. “Have you decided to step down?”
You would think they’re asking if the cookies are ready to come out of the oven. Their voice is as empty as their stare despite the gravity of their question. But the Adjudicators are often cold and distant. Dedicated to upholding the rules of the High Table even more so than the hotel managers are. To expect pity or mercy from one never bodes well.  
Winston greets that indifference by no less bored, “I don’t think I will.”
A quick tilt of their chin—offended, critical—and they turn towards John instead.  
“And you?” they demand, a notable sharpening to their tone. “Will you be pulling a bullet in his head?”
You tense at those words, your body instinctively moving in front of the manager.  
John’s ponderous scrutiny falls on you but you don’t take your attention away from the Adjudicator. Is what Winston said true? Are you really the only thing John still has left to lose?
You’re not sure if—
“No,” he says, quiet but resolute. “I don’t think I will.”
The High Table representative examines you three with a flicker of disbelief as well as irritation. You can’t help but wonder if this is the first time they encountered such blatant dismissal of their authority.
“So be it.”
They turn on their heels creating at least several meters in distance between you. A phone appears in their hand and they dial, bringing the phone to their ear with an effortless air of superiority.
All you manage to catch from where you stand is the very end of the conversation. “The Continental Hotel, New York,” an imposing proclamation followed by swift damnation. “Deconsecrated.”
The Adjudicator spins towards them, approaching leisurely as they gave each of you a measured, speculative look.
“This institution has hereby been deconsecrated,” they state flatly, appraising you all with aloof, disinterested air. Like you have just become less than human in their eyes and nothing more than trash to be taken out. “As such business may now be conducted on Continental grounds. Since you are refusing to step down,” they continue, their tone icy and pointed glaring digging into Winston, then John, “And you are refusing a direct order, your lives are now forfeited.”
Much to your surprise, the Adjudicator’s bright eyes come to rest on you next. “It is my advice to you Miss Vipress that you vacate the premises immediately,” they warn but the words lack much care aside from mild impartiality. “The High Table emissaries will be joining you shortly to see to the removal of your souls from the property,” they add to the two men on either side of you.
The Black Dragon men.
With that, the Adjudicator turns to go but your voice halts them before they take further than a step, “This hotel is my home,” you profess tightly, something slippery and raw in that string of words. An old ache; a new longing. Ironlike, unshakeable conviction shines the brightest though. “If you want it, you will have to take it over my cold, dead body.”
Another tilt of chin that makes you think reptile; coldblooded and dispassionate. “That can be arranged.”
A snarl pulls your lips back. “Can it?” you wonder, your words soft but deliberate. “You may wish to double-check that.”
The Adjudicator visibly pauses at that, and it’s the first sign of uncertainty you glimpse in their armour. The first time it takes them a moment to settle on their next course of action. Faint sourness lines their dignified features while they study you, considering your words no doubt.
“Good evening to you.”
Your glare is hot enough that you’re surprised the Adjudicator doesn’t catch on fire the moment their back is turned to you—and rather bold of them to turn their back on two master assassins after what they’ve just done—and your fingers itch.
John’s fingers snap around your wrist, holding firm and stilling your rising hand. “Don’t.”
The red haze lifts and you relax your jaw. It’s only after he sees your posture loosen that he releases his grip, his fingertips lingering against your inner wrist as if savouring the contact.
On your right, Winston heaves a weary sigh. “This haven is safe no more.”  
Your eyes lower and you try to process what’s just happened.
Continental is the only sanctuary you’ve ever known—the only one you’ve ever needed—and something in your gut churns. It’s a deadly, potent mix that makes you force a calming breath.
John breaks the silence first—a rarity, but you suppose this week has been full of those. “Are the services still off-limits to us?”
Winston looks to you first, taking you in, and you wonder what he finds in your no doubt murderous expression and blazing glare. Every muscle coiled tight and ready to spring.
Destruction hums in your blood, screaming for retribution and you want to indulge in it.
They should be terrified of you, the Elder’s voice reminds you.
“Considering the fact that V’s Excommunicado was lifted minutes prior and this interesting change in circumstances…”
He fades off for a moment, giving you both another thoughtful look that tells you he’s fully appreciating who exactly is about to stand in defence of his hotel. “What do you need?”
NF3 NC6.
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You’re a statue rooted at Winston’s side.
The four of you—John, you, Winston and Charon—wait for the elevator to grind to a halt, Cheeseburger sitting patiently between you and John. Ever the loyal companion.
“We have another problem,” you declare with a subdued sigh, dragging your eyes over the metal cubicle you’re trapped in. Even years later the fear of being a trapped animal unable to escape hasn’t quite faded from memory.
The manager clicks his tongue in reply, leading you all out of the elevator and towards the massive vault door sitting at the end of a short hallway. Guards—what few cemented their loyalty to the hotel and Winston himself—dot the length of it, watchful and awaiting their orders.
“Splendid,” the man shoots back dryly. “Not like we have plenty of those already.”
“The Male Lover is here,” you inform him, ignoring his snark. “He followed me.”
Winston’s mouth curves downwards at that. He places his hand on a palm scanner, waiting. “As expected,” he offers in return, his tone challenging. “Your next move?”
“He knows something that he shouldn’t,” you answer promptly, fiddling with your fingers. John and Charon are silent behind you but you know they’re also missing a lot of context behind the conflict, especially the former. “About Chicago. I intend to find out how and from whom. Then…”
Well.
Your plan till about ten minutes ago was to capture him and keep him here. Feed him to the High Table. Exact your justice by other means.
Now though...
It’s war.
The hotel has been stripped of its immunity. People are on the way to kill Winston and John. Charon by default. Even the staff if they get in the way, though the order to evacuate has been sounded already.
If you stand with them you, too, become an enemy.
The choice is simple. Easier than most things in your life have been, and it sits right in your gut.
If the High Table wants the manager standing in front of you, they will have to go through you first. And you’re capable of unleashing a lot of damage before they ever manage to get close enough to touch him.
But this also means that there will be no divine justice at the end. By the decree of the Adjudicator, people can now spill blood freely between these walls. There’s nothing stopping Lucien from attacking you anymore. Nor will he miss such an opportunity.  
A confrontation between you two can only end one way now.
“Then I deal with him,” you finally mutter, your jaw locking with resolute firmness.
An eyebrow quirked, Winston gestures inside, going straight for the drinks cabinet. You head right without prompting, going for a very special compartment safe built into one of the wall’s inside the vault.
You’ve had it installed years ago gradually filling it full with the passage of months and then years.
Not wasting time, your palm settles on the scanner, ignoring the code pad entirely. A beep sounds and a muted green light bathes your skin a second later. A hiss follows and then—
“That’s…impressive.”
John’s voice behind you should not surprise you—and it doesn’t—but it does make you tense. Shrugging, you risk a glance in his direction to see what he makes of your collection. The quiet, impressed way his eyes drag over each shelf betrays both his surprise, and even a shade of wariness.
Vials upon vials all line the massive cabinet of three separate compartments folding outwards—custom made just for this. Labels hug each vial neatly, all of them lined up in an orderly fashion based on use and colour. The rest of the cabinet houses some of your rarest and most expensive ingredients. Carefully hidden in the most secure location you can think of—or it was till about fifteen minutes ago.
“It took me a while,” you admit though the tension in your tone and body don’t ebb away. “A lot of trial and error. And throwing up.”
You’ve been your own best guinea pig over the years, and have suffered a great deal for it. But it has also given you something no one before has been able to achieve: immunity. To most of these dark, dangerous creations of yours.
Your prized collection of at least a hundred vials makes even Baba Yaga pause and consider. See you differently no doubt.
The truth is that the sheer magnitude of the horrors and devastation this collection could unleash is unprecedented. Unrivalled by all with the exception of but one man.
And no one knows it exists apart from the people in this room and Santino. The High Table suspects something of this nature exists, you know that. Hence their insistence on you being unable to remove anything from the hotel after your Excommunicado.
“I should have told you,” John speaks up, his lips parted and tone deep, tired. “About my task. I just…”
“Knew that if you told me neither of us would have left that desert?” you guess. “Yeah, I kinda figured that.”
You understand his angle. His reason for not saying anything too. There’s just one thing that’s been bothering you since you learned about it.
“Did...did the Elder forbid you from telling me?”
John’s expression creases. “No,” he admits slowly. “But he reminded me that your forgiveness is rarer than water in the desert, and rage fiercer than the sun.”
You can almost hear that echoed in the Elder’s gentle, accented voice. Staring at the vials, you force some of them out, rolling them in your palm experimentally as you start assembling your weapons swiftly.
The task makes sense. Winston did something he shouldn’t have. Punishing him would be expected like it was with you and John. Manager or no, he’s not all-powerful.
But the thought that the Elder still knowingly told John to remove Winston stings. Deeply. He knows full well what the older man means to you.
Realising that you have nothing else to say, John steps away but you hear the reluctance in his steps when he walks away.
But all this can wait. The looming threat is the first order of business. You can’t afford any distractions, so this, too, gets shoved behind a wall. Locked tight. You can catch a moment later. Process everything that’s happened in this last week.
Charon’s lulling voice describes the change in the Black Dragon ranks to John—armour improvements, weapon improvements, more robust training. You listen with half an ear. They’ve gotten better with years, deadlier. They will not be an easy target but staring at all the vials out in the open fully and at your disposal makes your mouth twist into a cold, cruel smile.
Let them come.
You will make corpses of them all.
With that thought in mind, you arm yourself to the teeth, locking a belt around the curve of your hips. Blades slot easily against your body, vials of poison and canisters of gas following. Next, come pistols with spare clips and enough bullets to take down a small army. Fitting, considering that’s most likely what you are likely to face. You thoroughly check each pistol, removing the magazines, and making sure safety is on all of them. Double-checking there’s no jamming, either.
Once you’re comfortably armed you pull out two small needles, filling both with a small dosage of different colour solutions. You prepare more but focus on the two first.  
Charon and John are still getting prepped, arming themselves just as intently while Winston sits calmly on a luxurious leather sofa observing them. Cheeseburger lays beside him on the sofa, his ears slightly perked as he watches everyone in the room.
Charon is closer so you hand him the needle wordlessly, knowing that he’s more than aware of what it is. Moving closer to John, you note the concentration with which he adds each spare magazine into his own utility belt, a deep pinch between his brows. This lethal focus means that you’re about to lose the John you know. Once Baba Yaga arrives there will be nothing but destruction left behind.
Something in your chest is ready to do the same. You almost crave it. Like everything has been building too quickly and now you feel at a breaking point ready to unleash.
Moving swiftly, you stab a needle into John’s neck, feeling him jerk and snap his fingers around your arm just like he did earlier. His grip is harsher, his fighter instincts kicking in. This time he’s not trying to stop you from attacking anyone but himself.
Rising an unimpressed eyebrow, you remove the needle from his neck, and John sways, scowling in your direction.
“Ow. What was that?” he demands quietly, no doubt recalling the last time he had a run-in with your creations.
“A little concoction that will, hopefully, give you immunity from most things in my arsenal temporarily,” you tell him calmly, near monotonous. “Unless you prefer dissolving into an immobile puddle the moment my paralyser comes out?”
John’s brows hitch, his eyes narrowing marginally, and his chin slants. “You enjoyed that,” he states dryly.
Blinking, you feel your lips quirk in an infinitesimal smile, blinking innocently up at him. “No idea what you’re talking about,” you demure pleasantly. John stares at you blankly and your small smile quivers, widening. “Okay, fine. I totally enjoyed that.”
A tiny quirk of his own mouth follows and it feels strangely nostalgic, near bittersweet, because it’s like years ago again. Just you two getting ready for yet another job together, you teasing him or firing questions at him. He’s always been patient with you. It was a kindness you never once took for granted. You were so alone, so lost, and he’d been the only harbour you had.
Despite his flaws, despite his mistakes, in many ways, John will always be that. It’s the one thing you never see changing.
You still miss that ease you once shared. Sometimes remnants of it appear, like now, and it just makes it harder.
But reminiscing now is a fool's errand.
Instead, you reach for another blade mounted on the wall behind him and bend your knee, slotting it against the special opening in your boot. He doesn’t take his gaze away from you as you do that, and you straighten, waiting to see if he will say anything else. He doesn’t. That almost makes you smile again. Typical.
Nodding at him, you look towards Charon instead, pulling out several vials, “For the guards,” you state seriously, your ease evaporating, and he takes them without a word. “Make sure they inject themselves at least five minutes before heading out just in case. It’s going to be a nasty toxic cocktail one way or another. You already know what to do.”
A firm nod. “Certainly, Miss.”
Satisfied, you walk past them heading towards the manager who watches you curiously as you approach. Cheeseburger raises his head at once, his tail wagging at your proximity. Your fingers brush over his head, petting him, and you hold another vial for Winston to take.
Nothing to do with protection and everything to do with arming him. Which, you suppose, is its own type of protection.
He stares at you blankly, a glass of what you only assume is brandy gripped securely in his hand.
“Oh, I sincerely hope you’re joking.”
He sounds completely incredulous and you roll your eyes.
“Precautions,” you shoot back, twisting the poison vial between your fingers and holding the entire length of it out to him. “Your wisdom, remember?”
“And you think that if they somehow manage to get through you, Jonathan, Charon and the guard, as well as at least two tons of metal, that will stop them?”
“No,” you answer honestly. “But it will make me feel better if you have it.”
Winston heaves a sigh, shaking his head but takes the vial all the same, leaning back in his seat. A single eyebrow lifts as if to say satisfied? and you fight back a groan. Why can no one in your life make things easy for you? Just once?
You part your lips, a playful remark on your tongue, only for distinct thudding to sound from above. It’s faint, barely audible, but you all freeze at the sound of it.
Your eyes drag towards the ceiling, just as Winston’s voice sounds, “Charon, would you be so kind as to welcome our new guests?”
The concierge strolls briskly towards the fuse control box, pushing one of the levers down with a deafening click.
Upstairs, you know the hotel has been plunged into darkness before emergency lights come into operation.
“Let's go.”
You reach for the last few things you can get your hands on, your focus narrowing down to tunnel vision.
“You will do the Continental proud,” Winston states, sounding so sure you can’t help but lift your head in his direction from your last minute prep. “Both of you.”
Your heart jolts painfully but you nod in acknowledgement all the same. Charon returns the gesture as well.
“And Johnathan?”
The assassin halts at his name, looking towards the manager in an unspoken question. “Do what you do best. Hunt.”
The four of you share a long, leaden moment before John moves first, followed by you. The vault door whirls close behind you, securing Winston and Cheeseburger inside, but you refuse to look back.
You will see them both soon.
Splitting at the mouth of the hallway, you watch Charon lead the guards down a different path while you and John take the elevator. Divide and attack on two fronts. John will be their main target first, then you.
The man beside you is as still as death, his body relaxed but senses alert. John doesn’t fidget, hardly blinks, everything about him is steady and tranquil. Just standing near him feels electric.
“Just like old times.”
His faint words startle you. A large machine gun in his hands, the black suit, an unforgiving stare—he looks near godly, as always, and you blink in his direction. Your tongue drags over your lower lip, pensive, and when you glance back at him you see John’s eyes jump up from your mouth.
“Just like old times,” you agree softly.
You’re not sure what he sees when he looks at you. You would like to think he sees someone who exceeded his expectations for you all those years ago. Strong and unyielding.
You hope he sees an equal.
The lounge is painted with sickly green when the elevator crawls to a stop, and you both move like an extension of one another. Falling into a routine is easy because it’s instinct. The lounge is submerged in smoke, obscuring your vision so you both move silently through it, gauging the situation.
Raising your hand, you feel John slow beside you, his gun raised, covering you. Your eyes journey over the lounge, spotting blurry figures creeping through the space, trying to discover you no doubt. The black uniforms make anger simmer in your gut, gnawing on your self-control.
A hiss joins the fray of noise as you lightly roll your own gas canisters across the marble floor, your paralyser joining the smoke seamlessly.
You should really thank them. They just made this easier.
Now it’s just a matter of—
A gunshot booms behind you and you pivot on your knees, watching John tackle two men who have taken a route from behind, hidden from sight by large stone pillars.
Each man takes several bullets to take down and you frown at that. Through the darkness, you spot the heavy armour—heavier than you’ve seen them wear—as well as goddamn gas helmets on their heads.
Rising, you jog towards the bodies. John throws himself at the other approaching men and you yank on the helmet on the dead soldier’s head. It slips off relatively easily and you curse under your breath when you note what filters have been installed at the base of it.
They’re significantly better than the last time you faced off against them. This paralyser will be nothing more than an irritant at this rate.
They’ve come more than prepared.
They’ve come ready to skin the snake and hang her by that skin.  
Snarling, you hurl the helmet at another uniformed figure that rounds the column, his rifle raised, watching it crash against his head.
Two shots follow from your Glock but the man only stumbles back, and you leap at him, slotting the nozzle under his collar before firing again. A bullet slices clean through his neck, finally killing him. You slide a blade in your other hand, spinning it once. Scanning your surroundings, you take the other side so you and John work back to back even at the distance.
Gunshots explode ahead and you know that Charon has joined in the fray as well.  
Your displeasure morphs into anger and then outright fury with each dead body. It doesn’t take you long to realise that your weapons are too weak to handle this onslaught. The calibre too low. The helmets make the paralyser nothing more than a tickle down their throats and an ache in their eyes.
While that slows them somewhat, their armour is too good for a simple pistol fire. No matter how many bullets you may have at your disposal.
Slamming a knee into one man’s gut, you yank his body to one side. His body soaks up bullets his friends try to shoot at you and you pull back. A blade buries deep in his neck, you jerk the deadman again, feeling a splatter of hot liquid on your face when the blade cuts deeper into his skin.
Duck, yank, slice.
You tear through the throng of incoming soldiers but you’re slowed by the fact that each person takes too much effort to kill unless you get up close and personal. That in itself is tempting faith.
One bullet, one falter, that’s all it would take.  
A man charges at you when his gun clicks empty, and you block his punch, pistol-whipping him across the head. The contact rattles through your bones and you bare your teeth.
A slice so quick he doesn’t even register it follows before his throat opens.
Nothing but a wet gurgle slips free and gravity does the rest.
Another follows after that, and another and another. It’s chaos and darkness. The floor is slippery with blood but you push ahead your expression contorted with pure wrath.
They want to kill you, do they?  
Rules have drowned you for years now.
But right now—right this second—you’re still free of your chain.
And they have no idea what you can do.
Let me give you something to be afraid of.
With that thought racing through your mind, you turn and dash towards the elevator, slamming your hand against the button. It takes long—too long—but you know it will be worth it. Throwing yourself inside, you press the basement button over and over again, practically beating it.
The ride down seems to last an eternity as well.
You prowl inside the cubicle like a wild animal ready to spring free. So much so that the partition nearly breaks with the amount of strength you use to yank it backwards with.
“Winston!” you shout from the top of your lungs, slamming your palm repeatedly against the vault. “Let me in!”
There’s a reverberating click only moments later but you don’t wait for the hefty metal to open fully before you push inside, breathing harshly as you do.
Winston blinks slowly at the sight of you. “V?”
There is a question and a sharpness to his regard, and the wariness with which he takes you in should probably worry you. But you don’t answer him. Instead, you head straight for the cabinet. Your pulse pounding and a clamour inside your head leaving you partially deaf. To a point, both John’s and Charon’s returned presence back inside the vault scarcely registers.
A red haze clings to everything around you.
“V.”
Your knuckles are starting to swell again but after this, it won’t matter—
“V.”
“What do you want?” you hiss, each syllable acidic to a point it catches John off guard.
He mutely offers you a shotgun and something at the back of your brain recollects mentions of “armour piercing shells” but you shake your head.
“There’s still some left alive at the back, and they’re regrouping,” you say instead, trying to quell your temper. “I have something else for the second wave.”
He reads between the lines of your plan.
“I’m not leaving you alone to face them.”
Your head snaps in his direction, and you hold out a vial—smaller than others, rounder, filled with liquid that seems to be caught in a perpetual state of half-brown and half-red—in front of his face.
“This,” you begin tightly, your vocal cords straining from how hard you’re working to hold yourself back. “Is something that will kill them helmet or not. They should know better than to think that some cheap plastic will save them from me.”
You pull out two canisters of gas, shaking both as you look towards the air system. “Air filtering still on?”
“Minimal,” Winston returns, his voice dull, stare watchful. “Don’t let it consume you,” he reminds quietly after a pause.
Your grip momentarily falters at those words but that’s the only reaction he receives.
“Then I’ll do it the hard way.”
John intercepts you before you can take so much as a step, his minute unease now gone. “Why didn’t we open with that?”
You’re not sure why the hell he’s stalling now to ask you questions but you answer him despite that. “This is a diluted version of something I created a long time ago,” you tell them. “It wasn’t created to be used as a vapour. This is also the only vial I have, and it will take at least a month to create more. I was saving this for the eleventh hour because no matter how many are out there, they’re about all about to experience a quick but very painful death.”
You’re not quite sure what to make of what you glimpse across his features. Some turbulent mix of emotions he doesn’t seem to wish and explain. Day by day he learns the full extent of how you’re no longer that girl that walked away from him with tears streaming down her face.
This is what you are now. What you had to become.
You wait for a reaction, judgement, but John only steps aside, his voice a low rasp, “Be careful.”
You soften somewhat at the muted worry you hear in his voice. “You too,” you say with a sigh. “Go ahead. I’m grabbing one more canister of gas just in case. Don’t go anywhere near the lounge for the next ten minutes at least.”
Both men indicate their understanding, not bothering to question you further. And there is comfort in that, in their easy understanding and trust. They both can more than handle themselves but a distinct worry still gnaws on your entrails as you watch them leave. Lack of presence from the other guards no doubt means they’re all dead already.
So that leaves only you three.
Three vs a small army of highly trained fighters.
But not for long.
“V.”
“A little busy, Winston,” you stress while rummaging through different compartments. “Can it wait?”
Silence greets your words. Then, “If I asked for your trust. Your complete trust,” he begins purposely, his voice deceptively serene. “Would you give it to me?”
Your hands still and you stare blankly at your collection for a beat.
Straightening unhurriedly, you try to digest his words, and tilt your head in the manager’s direction.
It’s only when you note his expression that you realise something is very, very wrong.
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The lobby is a graveyard.
Both literal and figurative.
Bodies lay in heaps across the usually gleaming flooring, and you wait patiently while leaning against one of many marble columns.
Waiting you’ve gotten rather good at.
The poison sits in your hands, warmed by your palms, but still brimming that ugly dark shade despite now being transformed into a vapour. You’ve recreated two versions of The Drowning and haven’t used either since Chicago. That thought makes you glare at the ceiling above because the recollection of Rafael and Boutin still wounds.
The grandeur of the Continental never fails to impress you though. Not even years later. There is always something new to discover and admire.  
You’ve been waiting for at least five minutes now so when a creak sounds you don’t move at first. Muffled footsteps echo across the eerily quiet lobby, moving towards you.
But not from the direction of the entrance.
The louder the steps become the more obvious a secondary sound becomes as well.
Whistling.
Faint but melodic.
The familiarity of the tune causes you to stands straighter, focus on the melody.
Mr Sandman drifts through the air as a peculiar sort of goad; purposeful and sly.
“Oh, snakey,” a voice coos playfully, pausing the tune for a moment. “I know you’re hiding somewhere out here.”
Lucien.
Of course.
You’ve been expecting him to show up sooner rather than later. It’s good to know that you were right about him though. He wasn’t going to let you slip by him again. This time, you don’t want to, either. This time, you’re going to finish this.
You contemplate throwing the poison in his face but the High Table would not give up so easily. John and Charon might be cleaning up the remainder of the first wave one shotgun shell at the time but a second wave is guaranteed and soon. Logically they would want to try and overwhelm you. They’re hoping to wear you out.
“Come out, come out wherever you are,” Lucien calls out in a sing-song drawl, his footsteps slowing to a point they fade entirely. “Don’t make me find you. You’re not going to enjoy that scenario.”
“Who says I’m hiding?”
You round the column, finding his thin, solitary figure in the middle of the lobby immediately. The dark green light seems to only emphasize his gaunt frame and you take a step closer, then another.
How clever of him to wait until your paralyser is fully dispelled from the air before he came seeking you out.  
His head lowers, deepening the shadows under his eyes. “Did your guard dogs run away?” he wonders mockingly, his voice carrying. “Good, they were getting in the way.”
“Of what?”
“Our dance, of course,” he retorts, a shade angry like you should know better. “One last dance and the truth. Oh, if only you knew but you don’t. No point in secrets now though.”
You scoff, both of you watching each other as you draw nearer. “You like hearing yourself talk, don’t you, Lucien?”
The blonde assassin bares his teeth at the sound of his name—dangerous and macabre, dripping with heinous amusement—and he gazes at you for a moment. Something flickers over his shoulder—
“Not at all actually,” he states overly calm. “But you’re not the only one to have your life stolen. Maybe it’s about time you realised that,” he divulges, his voice softening into something as hateful as it is eager. Like whatever he thought he knew, he couldn’t wait to impart on you. “I’ll be waiting for you, viper.”
You aim the poison at his head, hurling it through the air with every fibre of your strength.
Lucien ducks, sliding across the floor at near blinding speed, and disappearing behind the armchairs and from your sight.
It’s at that moment that the Black Dragon’s men burst through the lobby door, their guns raised.
Following his example, you dash behind the column, an explosion of bullets following a split second later.
Rubble splinters under the abuse and you turn, avoiding the crumbling stone.
One, two, three…
This time your poison doesn’t escape in an unassuming tickle of vapour. No, this time it’s an impact of a small explosive going off, and it’s a matter of one, two, three before muffled screams and groans replace the gunfire.
Arching your back against the ruined stone, you allow your head to tip back, watching the ceiling thoughtfully. You wait till gunfire completely cuts out before moving. Then, you stride from behind the column studying the effects with a mix of cold detachment.
Your own nose and lungs ache uncomfortably—just a show of how potent the formula really is—but you don’t take your attention away from the dying soldiers. They’re more of a heap at this point, their gas masks that they no doubt were so sure would keep them safe now virtually useless.
It’s a quick but brutal affair.
Wet sounds and sobs of pain. Then, like dominoes falling, the men still one by one.
They might be only obeying orders, but they came to kill the only family you have and take your home, and you find yourself feeling little to no pity for them.
The haze is gone now, leaving the lobby even more chillingly silent than earlier.
Lucien is nowhere in sight.
You would have preferred if the poison got him but didn’t hold out much hope that it would. He’s too good and far too fast.
I’ll be waiting for you.
He will grow to regret those words.
Stepping over the bodies, you approach the spot you saw the blonde last, heading in the direction of the only corridor he could have gone down.
Glock aimed ahead, your movements are utterly silent, deadly. No matter how deep into the hotel you head, he seems to be nowhere in sight, however. This time, clearly, he wants you to look for him.
Corridor by corridor you find nothing. Then floor by floor. You know this hotel far better than Lucien does. If he really assumes he can hide from you here he’s sorely mistaken.
Gunfire rips through the air and you pause, tightening your grip on the pistol. Little by little, you decrease the distance just as a hush falls up ahead.
John’s dark hair is what you glimpse first and instinctively relax seeing that it’s him.
“John.”
The man turns towards the call of his name, and you squint at him, approaching cautiously. “Why are you wet?”
John breaths are laboured, rattling from his lungs in shallow pants, making his chest expand with each inhale. “Zero’s men.”
“The Male Lover found me too,” you tell him and you both fall into step. “Missed out on the poison party, unfortunately.”
The man at your side glances you over once—a completely wordless but attentive examination—and you huff a small breath, amused.
“I’m fine.”
You’ve forgotten how much of a mother hen he could be without saying a single word.
At least you’re a little calmer now after your previous display of explosive fury.
He seems to accept your words, and you both step into the elevator for what feels like the hundredth time in a span of only several hours.
You know what logic John is following though. Both Lucien and Zero have likely hidden up on the higher levels for two reasons.
More places to hide.
And they’re less likely to encounter any poison on the higher floors.
Leaning your shoulder heavily against the cool metal, you peer at the man only arm’s length away. Baba Yaga stands with his shoulders slumped and expression enervated. Yet he’s standing despite that. His gaze still burns with a fierce sort of determination.  
That might have been one of the first things you’ve fallen in love with—that determination and will. Followed by his often unspoken kindness.
What won’t you give for things to be different.
Going up the floors proves to be the right of course action the moment the elevator stops.
John throws himself against one side of the metal cubicle, and you do the same when a bullet whistles through the partition, piercing the metal where John’s head just was.
Pushing your hand out, you fire blindly, hearing shuffling in response, and use the distraction to peek your head over the edge. John does the exact same thing and you both fire simultaneously, hitting two men. John in the head. You in the chest. Neither moves.
Shoulders hunched and tense, you move in unison, and you conclude instantaneously that this is clearly a trap to draw you in deeper. Laying a path for you to follow until the trap springs shut.
Eyeing each other, you both move ahead despite that shared conclusion.
It doesn’t matter much now. You may only have the single magazine, and one vial of paralyser left on you after butchering your way through an entire hoard of soldiers, but it won’t matter.
There is a nagging thought at the back of your mind that you should ask about Charon but now isn’t the time for that, either. The concierge is likely back with Winston by now.  
There is a ruthless strategy to how you remove Zero’s men. One by one, shoulder to shoulder, and know that these men are afraid. That they know deep in their heart of hearts that they won’t survive the fight before it even begins but they still try. They’re strong and fast. A legacy of hard training and cruel discipline no doubt. But John is stronger and you are faster.
In many ways, they remind you of those soldiers from years ago who ambushed you in that freezing Tokyo alleyway.
Your bullets run out by the time you return to the administrative lounge. All you have on you now are two blades, paralyser, and Elder’s dagger, tucked away and out of sight. Both blades have been christened with blood two floors ago, and John is down to his bare hands.
It would put most at a disadvantage but not him. If anything, his ruthlessness only seems to grow.
But something is different this time.
Three main differences, really.
First, a jovial whistle of Mr Sandman floating through the air.
Second, three dead men that you recognise as Zero’s and finally…
Lucien leans again a glass case housing an old relic, his hands covered in blood and the tip of his blade scratching at his nail. There’s at least a few dozen of these glass cases littering the room, an old passion of Winston’s, and quite the point of pride for him. Some artifacts locked away here are worth a lot of money. Frowning deeply, you stall, drilling holes into his figure.
Lucien knows you’re here but doesn’t acknowledge you right away. He continues humming, seemingly set on finishing the tune before his head dips lazily in your direction.
“Run along, Mr Wick,” he says bluntly, his face splattered with blood. “This is between me and the viper.”
The man beside you makes a small sound at the back of his throat, near disbelieving, but you cut him off before he can speak, still staring at Lucien, “Go, John,” you say calmly. “He’s right. We have unfinished business, as do you.”
John’s stare burns into the side of your head but you don’t explain further than that. This is not his fight. You’re no longer in need of his shadow and in need of his protection.
Still, he doesn’t move right away, and you hear him audibly inhale as if he needs to say something but can’t force the words out.
You’re about to repeat yourself but he finally steps to the side, taking a path around Lucien and the dead guards. His gait is slow. He’s practically staggering because you can sense his reluctance but the fact that he listens does make you feel a tinge of satisfaction.
A part of you wants to look towards him as he disappears down the hall but you don’t.  
Lucien peers at you with a strange little smile on his face all the while, waiting till John’s footsteps fully retreat until his limbs shift. He’s still smiling faintly but you’re in no urge to finish this, so you’re fine with letting him play his games, waiting and watching.
“Had your fun?” you wonder, bored, gesturing towards the dead men at his feet.
Lucien cranes his neck, pushing away from the glass with a swiftness that makes you tense. He chuckles at your reaction, stepping over them like they’re nothing more than dirt under his boot.
“Oh, that was just a little warm-up,” he says brightly that faint, unsettling smile still lingering, and you can’t help but wonder what his deal is. He seems awfully cheery. It makes for a strange contrast to your last few run-ins. And his previous words, implying his own looming demise. “You kept me waiting. Don’t tell me you’re getting slow.”
Smiling, you too move in his direction, limbs relaxed, a peaceful hush over your body. “Are you hoping to talk me to death?”
“Now, now,” he mutters icily. “No need to be quite so rude. I just want a dance.”
Your smile splits into something bleaker, more cold-blooded, and you circle each other. Pale blue light dances across Lucien’s sharp features. A snap of jaws, a growl—there is something animalistic about the wordless exchange between you. Something brittle, a string being yanked upon repeatedly until one of you finally gives in.
Lucien leaps first.
Your knives are short, certainly not created for duelling but the clank of metal pierces the air as you both meet in the middle. Your exhausted muscles snap, tensing, coiling.
He swipes his elbow in your direction but you duck just in time, a whistle of wind tickling your temple.
Arms twisting, you both ignore the screech of metal, you punching him in the jaw while he gets you in the ribs. Gasping, you stagger back, ignoring the numbing pain. Time has dulled the memory of how hard he manages to hit if the hits land.
Lucien springs towards you again, his face contorted, lips stretched back. This time your arms are tucked at your sides and you greet his attack. Your knees knock but you manage to push him back. A swipe of your blade is your reply but he careens out of the way and you kick at him instead. He catches your knee, staggering back from the impact, and he grins at you wildly. A slight cut against the corner of his mouth bubbles up, spilling blood over his front teeth. It paints the white bone canvas with diluted scarlet.
“You didn’t answer my question earlier,” he says conversationally, and you try to sink your knife into his chest but he shoves you back. You stumble but stay upright, exhaling shakily at the pain across your ribs. “If he missed you.”
Ignoring him, you roll the blades between your fingers, drooping lower as you unleash one quick swipe after another.
Lucien lurches backwards, his expression tightening in concentration. He manages to stay out of the way, just barely. So you push him backwards till you’re back by the bodies, and the man drops to the floor so suddenly you’re left staring at empty air until your mind catches up.
He rolls across the floor, a blur of his golden hair and dark clothes the only visible thing, and you realise a second too late as to why.
A blade lays by one of the dead men covered in blood as well. You have no idea how he managed to take down three men with a minimum of two katanas at their disposal. But there’s no time to contemplate that because this time you’re the one throwing yourself backwards.
Lucien swipes the katana in a deadly arc.
His hair mused, face bloodied and a grin on his face, he gazes at you for a second. Your grip on your blades constricts.
“I wondered for years what was so special about you,” he reveals mildly, tipping his chin upwards, pulling the blade closer towards his body as he stands. “I fucking hated you, viper. Viper. I suppose that’s one of many titles for you, isn’t it? John Wick’s protege, the Vipress, the Italian’s whore, the Russian’s Viper, Lady Camorra. Honestly doesn’t your head…hurt from it all? Or does it add to your ego?”  
He spins the katana in the air, rolling his wrist—experienced and at ease, the blade like an extension of his arm. Your senses pinprick at that assessment, knowing he just made this much harder for you.
“Did the way he used to call you his desert viper make you feel powerful?” he wonders suddenly, tracing his index finger up the curve of the metal. “Gave you a sense of importance? It must have felt thrilling to be such an exception to the most powerful man in the world.”
Something inside your chest stills.
Lucien drags his eyes in your direction, watching you closely over the edge of the blade.
“My, you really do have no idea, do you?” he continues slyly, his expression slackening with amusement; malicious, wild kind that causes you to bristle. “None. Your life is, ah, what is the expression again? A hot mess, non? Oh, snakey, I thought you could be the one to teach me a lesson I failed to learn all those years ago, but your ignorance is truly disappointing.”
He cuts the air with the blade, lowering it back to his side, and you bite out a chilly, “What the hell are you talking about?”
He tuts, wagging his index finger in your direction, his grin fluttering like he’s trying to contain a laugh bubbling inside his chest.
“I kept telling you but you just don’t listen, do you?” he wonders with a click of his tongue. “I told you we were the same. Forged by the same violence. Alike in ways you failed to understand. Now, why do you think I would say that?”
You don’t respond, instead, you push yourself backwards, launching your full mass at him. Lucien greets you with a chuckle—a cold, hollow sound, teetering on manic just like the rest of him—his katana managing to absorb the impact of your shorter dual blades.  
“Tokyo, Chicago, Prague, the Albanians, the summit, us—did you really think it was all, what exactly, one funny coincidence?” he asks jovially, and a distinct chill sinks into your bones at his words, forcing you to pull yourself backwards, and dive for the other blade on the ground.
He lets you. Doesn’t bother trying to stop you, and you grip the handle in a knuckle tight grip, creating some distance between you once more. Again, he lets you, examining you with a dark but curious light gleaming in his eyes. Like you’re a lab rat he’s conducting a study on. His question rattles through your head and you squint at him.  
“You never even questioned it, did you?” he continues, his voice airy with disbelief, a joke that seems to entertain him endlessly. He’s lost interest in the fight between you for a moment, prowling across the gleaming floor but in no hurry to attack. This, clearly is more important to him. “The water, the tunnels, the darkness. A repeating pattern. All carefully put together to test you. Over and over and over again. And you exceeded his every expectation. Every challenge thrown at you, you triumphed. And even if you did wonder at the back of your mind, you never once were made to believe that someone else was pulling the strings all along. Think, snake. Think.”
You’re not sure if you’re still breathing.
What…
No…
No, it doesn’t…
It’s not possible. It…can’t…
Your head is empty and you gasp for breath but your lungs feel blocked, your throat locked.
Lucien attacks in a blur.
You just barely manage to muster up the speed to block him, a piercing screech of metal against metal. Your arms buckle under his strength and he kicks you, catching you in the gut. One, two—
A muffled curse slips free, everything spinning, and he grabs the spare blade in your hand, throwing it away.
Parrying for control, you attempt a punch at his head but it’s too slow and sloppy. He catches your fist, bending your arm at a sharp angle. You relax it as per your old training to avoid broken tendons or bones. The katana slips from your hand and you growl under your breath, your free hand managing to form a fist.
A punch to his gut hits him quicker than a snake bite. Brutally efficient, impacting the exact same spot you gutted him only weeks prior.
Lucien grunts. Swears. His teeth gleam, still tinged by blood and you feel his hot breath on your face. Death and decay and—
You’re too misbalanced that you don’t notice it fast enough.
Lucien kicks you in the stomach with enough strength to send you flying.
A second of weightlessness enfolds you and then comes the crash.
Glass shatters upon contact and you muffle a cry of pain, feeling glass explode and rain down around you. Hitting the floor with a deafening thud, you stay there for a while, everything ringing and blurred around you.
A feeble moan escapes you, pained and strangled.
You attempt to shake your head, your fingers twitching against the glass covered floor.
“Tokyo was just the beginning,” Lucien’s muffled voice sounds like you’re underwater and you groan, weakly tilting your head to spot his approaching legs. Glass crunches under his boots and you try to desperately block out his words. “He’s always been on the lookout for new members to join his inner circle. Best of the best. And he’s always paid close attention to poisoners like you. Tokyo was just a nudge to see what you were made of. But you didn’t break and it escalated too far. Do you know what the Elder did after you escaped? Why you never heard from Kishi’s little group again? It wasn’t because of Wick. It was because the Elder had the entire clan killed. Just that easily. Because they disobeyed him.”
“No, no…”
It can’t be true.
It can’t.
He has to be lying. It doesn’t make any sense…
Except…it does.
“Did you never ask yourself why Tarasov didn’t simply turn you into another whore or sell you?” he demands harshly. “Later, I imagine, it was a certain degree of fear of you. But initially, it was because of the Elder’s will. Even if all Viggo Tarasov knew back then was that the Table willed it so.”
You focus on your core, trying to get yourself to move but Lucien speeds up his approach, kicking you in the stomach.
Pain blinds you and you roll across the floor. Your forehead connects with the glass, your left eyebrow splitting on impact. You don’t realise it at first—not till numbness is replaced by a sensation of something wet trailing down your face.
Droplets of fresh blood hit the crushed glass beneath you, and you crawl ahead with a pained gasp.
“Next—and my personal favourite—Chicago,” Lucien narrates loudly, his voice echoing through the large space. You hear him behind you but utter shock wins out, locking your limbs, leaving you a frail mess on the ground for him to prey upon. A part of you wants to roar, another wants to cry. Your training battles against the yawning abyss you keep slipping down with each horrifying word. “Who do you think fed the father-son wonder duo their information? Why do you think you were taken to an underground facility that was spitting image of Tokyo? Why not just kill you and D’Antonio outright? Boutin thought he was getting a special task but the truth was that he had long since outlived his use. The Elder fed both Boutin and his son to you to see what you would do. Black Dragon and D’Antonio were just pawns to hide the real test.”
The highway. The way they just kept attacking but not trying to kill you. It was to see how long you will last.
You want to be sick, a dry heave bubbling past your lips, every word crushing you harder, harder, harder—
“And, once again, you did perfectly but not without a loose end,” he sneers, venturing closer, step by step, as is savouring your reaction. “He also knew that the fear of being found out will make you more compliant. Wasn’t it peculiar that he summoned you right after you returned to New York? It’s almost like he…knew. Well, he did. He always has.”
Biting your tongue, you try to push yourself up on your elbows.
Ignore him, don’t listen, don’t—
“Prague. Again. Poison that made you struggle,” he reveals, his voice pitching towards impatience now. “The syndicate that took your Italian had no prior conflicts with Camorra and for a reason. Another test and punishment. More pieces for you to remove.”
Santino was taken for no reason. Right after your return from the desert. Cognitionis had no former alterations with Camorra up until that point. They were far too small to ever risk the wrath of a powerhouse like Camorra. They hadn’t even made demands which struck you as so odd back then but you had chalked it up to them wanting to prove a point.
A poison the heir was poisoned with was sophisticated and took some time to reverse-engineer. So long, in fact, that Santino nearly died.  
“Albanians. Same thing,” Lucien voices harshly, punctuating every word. He’s gotten so close that when the second kick comes the pain is distant, muted. Because what he’s betraying is so, so much worse. “It wasn’t Camorra that started the conflict. It was made to seem that way. Tarasov was cautioned to keep a close eye on you. To a point he forbade you from helping Camorra, right? And what did you do after that, snakey?” he demands, bending down and yanking you upwards by the back of your neck.
He pulls you towards him and more blood trails down your face. Lucien’s narrowed eyes search for something in your expression, and he smiles faintly when he spots it. “That’s right. It’s all starting to click, isn’t it?”
Tarasov forbade you from helping Camorra, from helping Santino. It was the first time you ever talked back to him. First time you ever conjured up enough courage to do so.
And then, furious and upset, you ran. Straight to Casablanca. And nearly back to the man who always expected—knew, he fucking knew, planned for it—for you to come back to him.
It’s what he wanted from the start and it would have been your choice.
No forced loyalty.
You will always lose, and it will always lead you back to me.
Oh God.
If Santino had come just half a day later you won’t even be here right now. You would be with him, at his side, and none the wiser to this truth.
The terrible, dark truth of what loneliness can do to someone.
“I even told you it was him,” the man holding you whispers, his head dipping to one side when he drags his fingers over your face, wetting them with your blood. “You just don’t remember, do you?”
His disappointment is once again palpable.  
Except while you’re staring at the cutting lines of his face, a recollection does come.
The warehouse. You tied to a chair. A needle stuck in your neck as Lucien leaned his body over you. The scathing bewilderment at the fact that he has managed to find something powerful enough to knock you out for hours. Those thin, pink lips shaping words while whatever he injected you with coursed through your veins, and a name you didn’t catch.
The Elder sends his regards.
Lucien’s fingers sink deep into the skin of your neck, his expression clouding with rage the longer he gazes at you.
“You were his favourite,” he seethes bitterly, ripping you upwards and on your knees so quickly you’re left scrambling. Your legs drag across the glass shards and your hands lock shakily around his, trying to rip out of his grip. “No one after you was good enough! We trained until our bones broke. We could bleed ourselves dry, and it still wasn’t enough!”
Shódigan.
That’s why he asked if you knew about it.
You thought you did but—
He flings you ahead and your body slides across the gleaming flooring, leaving a trail of blood behind. Lucien follows, stalking closer, and squats beside you, this time yanking you upwards by the collar of your shirt. “He adored you,” he adds with a hiss, his fury scalding your skin; an old, festering resentment. “And now you’re paying the price for that adoration.”
He exhales with great difficulty, taking several moments to reign in his temper.
Now, you understand his obsession with you perfectly.
He is like you.
He was a candidate too.
He must have been.
Another face in a long line of candidates for the coveted disciple position.
This time when Lucien speaks, his voice sounds contemplative, “Though I suppose you should thank him too,” he states forcefully light. “One day you will be remembered as a legend, just like your Baba Yaga. He helped to forge you into what you are today.”
You’re too numb to feel anything else.
There is just a hushed sort of silence ringing through your head.
Undeterred by your lack of response, Lucien goes on, wiping at the blood on his face, “You know there is an old French saying: qui se resemble, s'assemble. Can you guess what it means?” he doesn’t wait for your answer this time, either. “Every man loves well what is like to himself. You are each other’s dark mirror. His counterpart.”
He giggles this time, grabbing your face, his fingers cutting into the flesh of your cheeks, and for the first time since he started his speech, something sparks in your gut.
Shock or not, your body is failing to respond but you battle against it, silencing your mind.
Hurt and betrayal slam like an overloading flood against your composure despite your best attempts to stay afloat.
You’re such a fool.
Such a lonely, naive fool.
So desperate to believe.
Hope.
Just like he was.
Lucien is right.
You and Elder are two broken halves of a mangled whole.
The same man you once saw as a chance for redemption, belonging, is the architect of the majority of the pain in your life.
One day, if you still wish it, I will tell you everything.
Everything. This is what he had meant by everything.
He ordered Winston’s death not because the manager broke the rules but because he wanted to remove your main tie to New York—the very tie that made you choose to leave him in the first place.
And John would have been the one to fire the bullet.  
You would have hated him for the rest of your days for taking the manager away from you.
Santino is still weak and so very easy for the Elder to dispose of right now.
The Lovers. Their mission to hunt you both down.
Another test for you, another tie cut if they succeed in killing Santino.
And you would have crawled to him on your hands and knees, hoping for his kindness once again. Heartbroken and alone with no one to turn to.
He would have won and you would have made it easy for him.
So very easy.
Lucien drinks in your tiny, wet breaths and glassy stare. Blood continues dripping from the cut against your eyebrow and you shiver in his hold.
A tear trails down your cheek and you can’t process a single thought. It’s too much, it’s…  
“He always feared you would find out,” this time his voice is softer, emptier, and the hollows that make up his eyes examine you shrewdly. “But it’s a fitting punishment. To care for someone so deeply, to desire them, only to live with the burden of knowing that you are the reason for their suffering.”
His fingers tremble, sunken deep into your cheeks, and another off-tilter laugh tickles from the back of his throat.
“I really did hate you, your shadow, for years. Until those tunnels,” he murmurs, his faint accent just a little more notable then, his grip easing, loosening. “Until I saw how much darkness lurks under that mask of calm. How much hate festers inside you but directed at the wrong people. I told you we were one and the same. You should have listened.”
He shakes his head, blonde strands brushing over his forehead, his mouth stretching into another beaming smile, all teeth.
Lucien lets you go and you drop the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.
That’s all you are—comes the sinking, gutting realisation—a puppet for others to use and play with.
“He will kill me for what I’ve done to you,” Lucien announces, sounding like he’s made peace with that grim fact long ago. “But you know it’s funny, snakey. I always thought I would enjoy this more. Getting back at them by betraying his secrets. Seeing that realisation on your face. That crumbling hope and despair as your world unravels and crashes around you,” he says softly, near lovingly.
It must have taken him years to gain this level of trust, to learn this information.
You don’t move a muscle. All you can see are Lucien’s legs but you can feel him staring down at you.
The blonde tsks under his breath, nudging you with the tip of his boot but you don’t react. “You want to deny it, I know you do,” he begins purposely, and you suppose he would know, won’t he? “But you can’t. Because I bet every single thing that’s never made sense about your life before now suddenly does. Am I right, snakey?”
Your fingers tremble and you press them closer to your body.
“Looking at you now, I almost pity you,” he muses and there is a distinct note of uncomfortable surprise in his low voice. It almost makes you ponder just how large the line between this lucid Lucien and his insanity really is. “You’re just a little tragedy, aren’t you?” he adds thoughtfully.
Little tragedy. Little tragedy. Little tragedy.
It echoes.
You wonder, then, what you would have become had you been allowed to stay a girl. If you didn’t have to become a monster. Even though the monster kept you alive, kept you breathing and fighting.
What would you have become if you hadn’t been robbed of a future you could have had?
“Your life is not your own, it never was.”
Deafening, hollow silence follows that statement. Your heart thuds so painfully inside your chest, a part of you waits for it to stop on its own.  
Lucien’s boot settles against your waist again, pushing you onto your back.  
You stare up at the ceiling above you and count the beats of your heart.
The assassin straddles you unhurriedly as if expecting you to fight back but all you do is blink slowly.
Everything is rushing through your head right now. Every moment over the last seven years.
His fingers brush over the curve of your neck and he stares down at you with an almost rueful expression on his face.
“What a waste,” he starts tightly, followed by a long pause and he mutters something in French under his breath. His fingers settle around your throat—not squeezing, simply gazing down at you. “I knew it would crush you. But I hoped for that rage. For the abyss. For you to show me once and for all what I lacked that you had. Your lesson.”
So that’s what that was about.
“We might have been friends had we met sooner, serpent girl.”
His fingers constrict—
“My—”
Your voice cracks and Lucien’s grip relaxes instantly. The thin line of his eyebrows knits in confusion. “Quoi?”
Gulping a painful breath, you part your lips, “My…lesson,” you croak out, tasting blood on your tongue and how fitting that you should. “My lesson…I have the answer.”
A certain light devours his gaze, and although his features drop with surprise, his eagerness is tangible.
He leans closer, and over you, his fingers still around your throat, “Tell me.”
Your tongue feels heavy and dry inside your mouth, an acrid aftertaste coating it, and Lucien jerks his fingers harder around the fragile column. He presses closer, his body weight pinning you down—
You jerk your body, a blur of your arm, a gleam of a dagger in the artificial, cold light. The Elder’s dagger in your hand trembles but gushing scarlet coats it still.
“I’m faster.”
Lucien gapes, his mouth parted. He convulses, his grip on your neck slipping, and you lurch your hips upwards, throwing him off you.
He drops to the side, right beside you, unmoving but the heat of his body still warming you—and you clutch the dagger tighter between your blood-stained fingers. You press it to your chest and lay there till time becomes nothing.  
BC4 BC5.
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Years ago when you escaped to Casablanca, eager to start your life over and join the Elder once again, Sofia told you something that has stuck with you ever since.
Sometimes you have to kill what you love.
You’ve thought about that a lot over the years. What exactly she had to sacrifice to have the power she now possesses—her daughter, flesh and blood, and good.
What you may have to sacrifice one day to earn your freedom.
Now, you suppose, none of that matters anymore.
Not really.
You’ve almost won your pyrrhic victory, Kishi purrs happily at your side, and you hear the subdued rumble of Tarasov’s laugh too, soon you can savour the rotting, sweet taste of it on your tongue.
The rooftop terrace door slams open, and you step onto the patio, halting the heated conversation with your arrival. There is an unsteady sway to your limbs that doesn’t escape anyone’s attention—John’s shoulder’s slump, Winston’s eyes narrow, the Adjudicator simply arches an eyebrow—but your expression remains steely.
The fire roars behind Winston and Charon—and it is, admittedly, a massive relief to see them both safe and unharmed—even if it makes you think how close you came…
No.
None of that now.
You’ve lived through worse (have you? liar, liar, liar, Kishi coos) and you give them a forced, fragmented smile.
“Mornin’.”
The Adjudicator grimaces subtly, and you know it’s likely because your injuries leave your smile bloody. Good.
“The Vipress,” the Adjudicator greets, standing to their feet. “I must express my apologies on behalf of the High Table. It does, indeed, seem like the general order in regards to you has...changed.”
They don’t look particularly happy to admit that but this is no time to goad, if you even could muster up the strength for it.
Instead, you stare blankly in their direction for a beat. “Excuse me,” you say, your voice a grating whisper, as you push past them. “Killing your lackies has made me thirsty.”
You shoulder past them, avoiding contact, your eyes momentarily jumping to Winston who stands right behind the Adjudicator, his stare cautious. Your eye contact lasts no more than a scant few seconds but it’s enough.
It’s a split second in which you grab a glass of champagne, ignoring the other snacks on the table.
You turn to face them, finding them all in differing states of confusion or uncertainty but offer no explanation as you drown three large gulps.
“Let’s get on with it, then,” you phrase bitingly, not bothering to hide the impatience, the sting of bubbling acid and, and… “I would like to have breakfast and take a shower. It exhausts a girl, having to take down armies. Hope you can appreciate that at least most of mine are in one piece. Less blood for you to wipe,” you comment idly, directing your words at the Adjudicator.
Coldness lurks in their regard, and you can tell that their opinion of you is less than savoury.
You don’t give a shit what they might think of you.
Every word slips past your lips on automatic; mindless, void syllables that feel drained of life. It’s an effort to register anything around you.
The blood, the champagne, the bubbles tickling your nose.
“While you have been pardoned of your crimes,” the Adjudicator resumes smoothly, clearly eager to get the conversation back on track and out of the way. “I’m afraid no such thing has happened with Mr Wick. A man who has shown no loyalty, no regard for the rules. It is by that logic the Table’s decrees that the punishment should fit the crime.”
Winston hums loudly, his head tilting as he nods in absentminded agreement.
You take another sip of your drink, frowning at the taste of blood in your mouth. Fitting, somehow.
You might have scrubbed yourself clean of blood before coming up here but it still stains the cracks of your skin. Cuticles stained with red, mouth stained with red.
Red, red, red…
John straightens at those words. He looks beat from his own fight but remains quiet. Yet, he can no doubt sense that something’s wrong.
“You’re correct,” Winston states, no affliction to be found in his voice and he steps closer, pulling something from behind his jacket. “Sorry, Jonathan.”
BANG
The gunshot is like a thunderclap through the too still morning.
John’s body jerks with the impact, a gasp sounding a second later, and you look at him while Winston steps closer.
BANG
John scrambles backwards, his bulletproof clothing absorbing the impacts but it won’t get him far.
“(Name)!” he calls out desperately, pained, his eyes seeking your form out, his voice cracking and splintering.
You can’t help and wonder if he’s scared. He sounds scared. There is something ironic—downright hilarious—in the knowledge that he’s facing death yet calling out your name like it may prove to be a salvation.  
It’s the first time since you asked him not to use your real name that he uses it. But you don’t move. Don’t respond to the plea for help. Mercy.
You just stare at him, indifferent and cold, knowing that even if you tried you couldn’t muster up any emotional response right now.
Winston fires again, and again, and John veers towards the building edge, his knees shaking.
The manager’s expression remains vacant, cold, and he shoots again, no hesitation in his aim. Not a single falter. It’s one of the most well carried out executions you’ve ever witnessed.  
John’s back hits the ledge and you watch in near slow motion as he tips over the edge falling at least twenty floors down and towards the concrete below.
You hear the metallic bangs as he hits a few fire escapes on his way down but still don’t move.
Then, impact so loud it splits the air.
Then, stillness.
The typical buzz of New York City waking up resumes. Time restarts and goes back to its natural flow once again.
Throwing your glass back, you drown the remainder of the champagne, licking your lips twice, yet blood still lingers.
Winston lowers his arm, approaching the edge but the Adjudicator gets there first. Charon is only a step behind them, and you force yourself to move after them as well.
The Adjudicator gazes down for a long, assessing moment, silent. Their head turns towards the manager who meets their probing stare flatly.
“I assume we’re done here?” he questions.
The Adjudicator inclines their head and, predictably, switches their attention to you. “You did not help him.”
A fact, not a question, yet it demands an explanation all the same. Your tongue moves on automatic, forming words that taste brittle.
Everything feels brittle.
“Why would I?” you wonder dully. “He betrayed me not so long ago, and nearly killed the majority of my friends less than a week ago. I learned my lesson.”
Chuckling, you turn your back to them, walking away leisurely. The glass clangs back onto the coffee table, a shriek of a sound. “I have served. I will be of service,” you echo the mantra pleasantly, faint with scorn.
Every word bleeds venom through your heart.
You don’t face them again, and no one stops you. The terrace doors slam shut behind you, and it’s a deafening bang that reverberates. You force yourself to put one foot in front of another. Keep walking, keep walking, keep—
It’s a blur, your feet dragging behind you. You’ve stopped bleeding but still have to halt at one point, leaning your palm against the corridor wall to rest.
You’re teetering and—
Your life is not your own, it never was.  
Your room sits untouched. The door opens with a click that’s like a kiss against your hair—so soothing and loving, comforting in ways that you could never quite explain.
The table is still an organised mess; notes half-unfinished, empty vials, dried ingredients—all littering the wooden surface, and you approach it slowly.
Exactly as you left it before you departed for Rome.
It seems like a lifetime ago now.
Everything is the same here, frozen in time.
Except nothing is the same.
Your fingertips trace over your notebook; a new formula, a collection of improvements on old ideas, scribbles that don’t make much sense to anyone but you.  
Your legacy. Your work.
This room is a testament to who you are. What you have become.
A tragedy.
Not a legend, or a fighter, just a tragedy of a girl.
A sound escapes you at that, strangely wounded, and you lean the heels of your palms against the table edge, your vision blurring.
Tragedy, tragedy, tragedy.
A puppet stitched together by different hands, influenced by different people.
You’re a product of someone else.
Every victory from your past sours and cracks with that realisation. You must have made him so proud.
You hate this room, this table, these plants, yourself.
This time a scream rips from the back of your throat. A brutal sweep of your hands wipes the table clean, everything plummeting to the floor with a booming crash.
You destroy everything in your path. Glass explodes, paper rips, liquids spills. You’re panting, sweating, and shaking by the time you come back to yourself. The floor is a mess, the whole room is.
A glint catches your notice when you spin on your heels, and your head snaps to the floor-length mirror across the room.
You don’t recognise anything about the bloodied, tear-stained, wild reflection that glares back at you. A monster is all that stands there. Alone and devoid of everything.
Distance evaporates between you, and you slam the hilt of the only weapon you still have left into the glass. The Elder’s dagger shatters the mirror upon contact. Cracks fracture your face before the mess crashes at your feet with another ear-splitting echo.
That uses the last tendril of strength left in your body—perhaps your very soul.
Your knees fold under you—and it’s almost soft, your crumbling.
Weightless and empty you settle on the floor.
Tears stream down your cheeks, hitting the crushed glass in front of you but you don’t wipe them away, don’t make a single sound. You can’t.
Your forehead lowers between your knees, your hushed sobs the only noise permeating through the peaceful room.
You don't get back up.
B4.
. . .
AN: 
well. 
now you know. 
not sure how many of you are even around to read this but a fun game to play now that you're done:
- reread COA from start to finish, noting every use of "honoured guest" in relation to V spoken by her enemies throughout the years, even the elder himself.  
441 notes · View notes
yamithediaperdork · 3 years
Text
Rewarded as a bully deserves (HunterXhunter)
Killua was in a rotten mode as he headed for the closet park in town, huffing and growling over him and Gon having a fight.
It was just so stupid! Here he was, a deadly assassin and for the 6th time this month they'd woken up in a bed drenched with pee. Lord knows Gon was trying to be kind and supportive but really, who could blame him for getting tired of waking up soaked?
Gon wanted Killua to start wearing 'protection' at night to bed, but the deadliest bed wetter alive refused to go that far, he had already comprised and let Gon put rubber sheets on the bed so hotel staffs stopped giving them a hard time hadn't he?
In any case they had taken a shower and gotten dressed, and Gon asked Killua to go for a walk by himself and think about what he had said.
'Screw that nonsense.. I'm go and cheer myself up the best way I know how!' Killua thought as he came to the playground area of the park. Nothing lifted his spirits like a little bit of harmless bullying.
Scanning the play area Killua spotted a good first target. a 5-6 year old with dark tanned skin and a black brush cut was digging away in the sandbox, making a moat around a sad looking sand castle he'd made with one hand, while licking away on a mint chocolate ice cream cone with the other.
spotting a plastic bucket with some water in it for the moat, Killua smirked and strolled over.
"Nice fort little guy." He said sarcastically, getting the boys attention and the kid gave him a smile.
"thanks! I was working on it for like ever!" The little guy said, apparently not recognizing the tone.
"Heh, Would be a shame if something happened to it though." Killua chuckled. "you did get house insurance against giants right?"
"Uhhh what?"
"well what if some big mean old giant.." Killua started, stepping into the sand box now. "Just came up..and did THIS!" Killua asked and stomped his foot down on top of the fort, snickering as the little guys eyes went wide.
"HEY! WHY'D YA DO THAT?!?" the little guy yelled, starting to stand up and with tears welling in his eyes.
"Because i'm better, stronger and therefore better then you. Little dorks have to get put in their place." Killua sneer and then grabbed the arm holding the ice cream cone and make the kid smuch it onto his hair. "Geez you little dorks are SUCH messy eaters!"
The boy squealed as the sudden cold on his head and how icky it felt.
"S-Stop this! I-I" the boy tried to make his threat clear but he was also trying not to full on bawl.
"heyyy don't worry about it, I'll help you clear up!" Killua laughed, then snatched up the bucket with the water in it and dumped it on the boys head, then tugged it down over the kids eyes.
"Hey, that's a good look for you, but it's missing something." Killua said and sneered, then turned the boy around and tugged back the kid's short then tanked up on the poor little guys briefs.
"Awww, a fan of sailor moon I see!" Killua teased and hooked the back of the briefs on the back of the bucket, then booted the kid in the ass, sending him sprawling out of the sand pit.
"Alright, I had my fun, get the fuck out of here before I decide to be mean." Killua said cheerfully.
the thought that all of this had been Killua being nice light a fire under the boy's butt, and he ran/crawled off, not even trying to remove the helmet or pick the wedgie out of his butt.
"well, I feel better already." Killua commented to himself, though he noticed a few other kids and adults glaring at him.
"Oh by all means, anyone who wants to try and punish me.. " Killua said, going from a happy goofy look to his slash smile. "Step up."
no one did.
After scaring two more little guys into give him all their ice cream money Killua was in the middle of getting a cone (Double chocolate mint just like the dork had had, it had looked good after all) when he heard a familiar voice.
"That's him Carlo! that's the bully!" cried the dork from before.
Turning around slowly Killua smirked, Carlo was clearly the dork's big brother, and while he was a little bit taller then Killua he had a slim build and the same tanned skin, though his hair was a bit longer while still being short.
"Ok mister, I'm going to give you ONE chance to say sorry to my little brother, and get him a replacement cone. If you don't.." Carlo said, crossing his eyes and glaring at Killua with a death glare.
Killua, who gave those out with ease froze for a tiny fraction of a second, and his bladder twitched, but he shook it off and took a long lick of his ice cream to show he wasn't scared, and to give him time to regain his composure.
"What? If i don't you'll do -what?-" Killua asked. "Try and fight me and end up hanging from the teeth ball pole by your undies? I mean, I'm mostly in a good mood now but if it's a ass kicking you want." Killua sneered.
Carlo rolled his eyes, then smirked.
"You know..I've been in a bit of a funk lately, and beating up bullies always makes me free better.. so thanks." He said.
Killua raised a eyebrow to thank but before he could react, Carlo was right next to him, and much like Killua had done before, taken a gripe on the arm with the ice cream cone.
On small difference though, Carlo wasn't going to make him put it in his hair and had tugged open the front of Killua's shorts and undies.
"W-Wait d-don't!" Killua shrieked, his plea fell on deaf ears though and he was somehow powerless to over come the taller boy power.
As such, a high pitch wail was heard as Killua's twig and berries got a double mint chocolate coating.
Killua's eyes crossed and a cartoonish image flashed in his mind as it felt like his private had just been transformed into two ice cubes and a Icicle, then there was sudden relief and warmth, making him stick his tongue out the side of his mouth in blessed relief.. at least until he noticed the warmth was traveling down his legs.
"heh, Carlo the bully wet himself!" The little guy pointed out, snickering and getting out his phone to take pictures.
"I can see that buddy, Aww, did the cold cold ice cream make da big bad bully go wee wee?" Carlo asked, folding his arms over his chest and baby talking to Killua.
"i..I uh.." Killua stammered, Sure, he was no stranger to soaking his pants at NIGHT while he was asleep, but this was a new one for him! "I..didn't go tinkle?" He finished lamely.
"Rightt then whats that making a puddle on the ground right now and staining your shorts." Carlo asked.
"..I don't have to answer that! In fact, I've had enough of false accusation's and I'm leaveing!" Killua huffed and turned around to do just that, but also exposed his back to his new found enemy.
Carlo, knowing that Killua had wedgie his little brother Hector, moved in and with on hand tugging Killua's shorts back the other grabbed the waist brand of Killua's Barney briefs and lifted up before the poor hunter even had a chance to fight back.
Killua's mouth opened as if he was screaming, and while dogs howled in pain no one with human ears could of heard the noise coming from his mouth, it was that high pitched.
Carlo smirked at the response and said "Awww, Barney briefs? that's just soo..fitting! But I wonder how strong they are?" then adding his other hand to the back of the waist band even as Killua looked over his shoulder and shook his head no, bringing his hands together pleading, Yanked the soon to be ex-hunter off the ground by a good 2 inches if now more and dangled him there as Killua turned pale and went blank eyed.
"Oh wow, those must be reinforced Carlo!" Hector marveled, recording this all for YouTube.
"I know, kinda a shame, if they weren't they'd of snapped by now and he'd know SOME relief." Carlo chuckled then turned him and Killua better into frame for the camera.
"hi I'm Carlo and this is a big bully who tried to pick on my little brother..Huh, never caught his name.. Hey wedgie boy, whats your name?" Carlo asked and holding Killua up with just one arm delivered a hard swat to Killua's buns, which also ended up making his shorts slide down around his ankles showing off his pee stained undies.
"A-AH! M-Mah name is Killua Zoldyck and I'm super super sowwy! Pwease stop!" Killua begged and pleaded, in a voice that sounded like he'd sucked on some helium.
"I dunno Hector, what do YOU think? Has Killua had enough?" Carlo asked, and Killua shot the boy he'd bullied a pleading look, bottom lip trembling and tears welling up.
"Hmmm you know I really think..that you should use him like a yo-yo till his undies snap. THEN I'll forgive him!" Hector giggled.
With both hands on the waist band Carlo went to work even as Killua started to blubber and cry for his mommy.
It ended up taking a record breaking 55 bounces before Killua's undies snapped, and by that time Killua had gone to la-la. with his undies snapped and ripped off off he was too out of it to notice that he was currently face down butt up with nothing covering his der rear and his bubble butt and little package showing.
"oh man.. that explains why he was in such a bad mood.." Hector giggled, having turned off the camera for now but uploading the video. (after all, even with a member as small of Killua's the mods on YouTube would of removed the video)
"man, makes me feel like I picked on a over sized toddler. feeling a little guilty." Carlo said, though in truth he wasn't really.
Killua's shorts were gone by this point as the boys who's ice cream money he had stolen had retrieved them, and after finding some of the cash and taking Killua's wallet, had tossed them in a bin meant for dog waste.
"Well, nothing we can do now, we don't have any spare pants for him." Hector pointed out.
"Well not quite..remember that weird vendor we passed on the way in?" Carlo said, digging into his pocket and pulling out some bill's.
"Heh.. you don't mean.." Hector asked.
"A yup. be a good boy and run and get widdle Killua something to wear." Carlo said, handing the money over and keeping a eye on 'sleeping beauty' while Hector ran off.
Killua was having a wonderful dream about having a endless buffet of candy and chocolates and it was so nice after what must of been a nightmare where he was tormented and bullied beyond belief.
He was slowly waking up and rolling over to sit up and rubbing his eyes. "Nggggh Heyyy Gon, you wouldn't believe the night..mare..I.." Killua started to say then opened his eyes, seeing Carlo and a semi crowd all around.
"Welcome back to the land of the living tiny!" Carlo said.
Killua huffed at that and stood up, about to tell Carlo off, he wasn't THAT much shorter when a breeze blew and he noticed how much he felt it on his on buns.
Looking down his face went crimson and Killua grabbed at his shirt and tugged it down, trying to cover up his privates.
"W-WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY UNDIES? MY SHORTS?!" Killua yelled, getting roars of laughter from the crowd.
"Well your undies were totally wreaked so we tossed them." Carlo said, nodding over to a waste bin for normal trash. "As for your shorts, there was a couple of boys you really seemed to annoy earlier and after getting back they're ice cream money with interest, they tossed them in the dogie waste bin..I doubt you'll want them back."
"but..but.. I can't go around with my ding dong on display!" Killua whined and whimpered.
"That's true. don't worry, I already thought of that shrimp." Carlo said and nodded behind Killua.
Killua turned to look and there was Hector, the brat he wished he'd never of picked on, running back with a pack of...DIAPERS!?
Killua whimpered loudly, a spurt of pee coming out and soaking the bottom of his shirt as he turned back to Carlo with pleading eyes.
"Please no! anything but diapers!" Killua whimpered. "I'm not a baby!"
"heh, Are you SURE about that?" Carlo asked, looking down and making Killua's gaze follow to the damp spot on Killua's t-shirt.
"i..but..that was because.." Killua mewed then shrieked and jumped, grabbing at his bun's as Hector came in range and walloped Killua's baby butt.
Ironically when he came down he landed in Carlo's waiting arms, like a blushing bride.
"Awww how cute, but you really think I'm gonna save you?" Carlo asked, then dropped Killua onto the hard ground and onto his tender buns.
"S-Stop being s-so mean to me!" Killua whined, on the verge of anther crying fit.
"Sheesh, I should of gotten him a paci." Hector said, handing the pack of diapers over to Carlo then tugging the shirt up and off of Killua, using it as a tear rag then tossing it out.
"Oh wow, Lookie here Killua~" Carlo said, reading the pack then holding it in front of Killua's face then read from the back. " 'New little poopers punishment diapers are perfect for your so called big kid who refuses to use the potty! extra thick to ensure they waddle, it comes with a embarrassingly babyish nursery print we promise to have your little stinker blushing bright red. with a special stink guard you and the big baby won't have to deal with their stink!' Heh wow, Oh look, they offer alt versions, that's something to keep in mind if you need more lessons."
Killua meanwhile was looking at the front of the package, showing sobbing pre teens in the bulky diapers and smirking parents.
"I-I changed my mind! I'll go home naked!" Killua whined.
"Nonsense! what kind of person would I be if I let you go without the diaper you CLEARLY need!" Carlo said, as if he was doing Killua a favor. "This is gonna go down one of two ways loser. You can either lay back and suck your thumb while I put as many of these as I can on you, or I can kick your ass, knock you senseless..then put as many of these as I can on you. Either way, you're going back to diapers. YOUR choice."
Killua pouted, started to ball a fist up.. then sighed and laid back, popping his thumb in his mouth and turning away from the crowd as laughter and taunts rang out.
"Loser!"
"Big baby!"
"Wuss!"
Carlo was a little disappointed that Killua decided not to fight back, but he had to admit seeing the wanna be bully accepting his big baby fate was kinda cute.
ripping the back open open Carlo smirked, dispute being the size of a pack that should be able to hold 16 diapers, there was only 6 of them in the pack and he pulled on of the massive things out, making sure everyone could see all the rattles and paci's and teddy bears and the like all over the diaper then unfolded it.
"Ok Shrimp, Butt up! If i have to lift you up I'm giving your buns a swat!" He said and wasn't shocked when Killua's butt almost levitated up in a instant to avoid any more punishment. "good boy!"
getting the almost pillow like diaper under the loser's butt, he gently pushed Killua's butt back down and smirked as Killua loudly sucked on his thumb, getting drool going down his chin as Carlo pulled the front up nice and snug and then taped it up.
"Welcome back to babyhood Shrimp." Hector said, leaning down and snickering, and making Carlo beam with pride.
In the end they only manged to double diaper Killua, the diapers were just too massive and they ripped a third one trying to get it on the babfied brat.
After he was all nice and snug in his diapers Carlo told Killua to try and get up and to Killua's massive shame, not only could he NOT get up on his own, but he couldn't even get close to bringing his knees together.
The fourth time he just plopped down on his butt trying to get up, Carlo rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"-sigh- Ok Shrimp, let me help you." Carlo said as if he was doing Killua a favor.
Holding out his hands Killua took them and got yanked up to his feet, legs wobbling as he tried to center his balance.
"heh, you might need a bit to get used to waddling in there. Try waddling over to that tree over there." Carlo said, pointing to a tree that would of only been 10 seconds away normally, but with this massive bulk taped around his hips it might as well been a mile away.
Still, Killua knew better then to argue at this point and took a wobbly step, then anther, and smirked, thinking he was getting the hand of it.
'I got this! I can-' He was thinking when his fourth step went wrong and with a loud yelp Killua plopped on his butt, a shocked look on his face but not hurt considering the thick padding under his butt.
"Awww, widdle baby Killua doesn't know how to walk!" Hector giggled, getting more laughter from the crowd.
"yeah, guess you better stick to crawling shrimp..you CAN at least do THAT can't you?" Carlo asked, tilting his head and smirking.
Killua huffed, he wanted to try and walk again but knew he wasn't getting any help and there just wasn't anything to help him get up to his feet with around. He toyed with getting in the crawling position and pushing himself up THAT way but had a feeling while he'd be in the middle of it Carlo would just smack his butt and send him face first into the dirt.
getting on all fours and trying to drown out the snickers and flashes of camera phones going off, Killua rolled around and got on all fours and then slowly crawled over towards the tree, glad that he had been right that he could crawl at least.
'at least i didn't have to do a diaper scoot across the ground, knowing my luck it would of ripped apart the diaper and I'd of gotten a spanking.' Killua thought with a sulk as he reached the tree.
"Well well, at least you can crawl, I was worried I was gonna have to carry you over." Carlo snickered. "Now use the true shrimp and get to your feet, and shake that diapered ass and sing us a song about what a big dumb baby you are and how happy you are to be back in diapers."
"..Your joking right?" Killua asked, jaw dropping. "There is NO WAY in hell I'm gonna d-" he started started to say but Carlo cracked the knuckles on his right fist and and light tapped his fist into his open left hand.
"You SURE about that?" Carlo asked.
"..W-what If I can't think of any lyrics because I'm a big dumb baby?" Killua squeaked out, flooding his pampers.
"I'm sure you'll think of something. It's ok if your dumb is lame though, your just a diaper baby shrimp." Carlo said.
Grunting with effort, Killua pulled himself to his feet, hands braced on the three and looked over his shoulder, the crowd was watching with delight and he trying to think of something, anything to sing.
"I...I'm big baby Killua and I'm so happy.." he started, wiggling his diaper, shutting his eyes.
"Because a big strong boy put me in a nappy!
Diapers are totally wear I belong!
so I hope all of you love my big dumb baby song!
I thought I was a bully but I'm just a dweeb
filling my diapers up with pee pee
If i ask for undies look at me like I'm a nut
then make baby poop with a punch to the gut!"
The act of singing the song and keep his eyes closed so he didn't have to see the crowd (though he could hear them laughing and cheering him on) had Killua's body getting into it and he was shaking his diaper booty like there was no tomorrow.
"Stupid babies like me we don't need to think!
we just sit in our diaper and super stink!
Watch me prove that as a baby I'm the best
I'm gonna fill my diapers with a super big mess!"
Killua's eyes shot open at that, had he really just promised that!? worse, his body was again moving on it's own accord and he was squatting down now, grunting and pushing, puffing out his cheeks.
'no no no no! why can't I stop myself! GOOOON! HELP!' Killua thought.
"Killua? whats going on?" Came Gon's voice.
Killua almost didn't believe it at first, it was just he wanted Gon to save him that he heard the voice of his boyfriend! But no, a look over his shoulder showed Gon standing there, eyebrow raised.
"G-Gon you have to s-save me! I-I-I.." Killua tried to tell Gon about what had happened, how he'd been victimized but before he could get the story out, something else came out in the back of his diaper. "I'M POOPING!" Killua cried out.
if the muffled farts hadn't of been hint enough, the back of the THICK diapers bloating out and getting even bigger would of given it away, and despite the diaper's boast of super stink guard, Killua's backed up stinky load (he hadn't gone in 5 days) was filling the area with a rotten smell, driving part of the crowd away.
Gon for his part just held his nose and then shook his head.
"Really Killua? You won't wear diapers to bed despite being a bed wetter, but you'll load them in public..Your coming with me mister man." Gon scolded and walked over.
"Um.. Should we tell him-" hector started to ask Carlo, holding his own nose.
"Nah, it's better this way. you can get out of the area of effect though, I'm gonna go say by by to baby Killua."
Walking over Gon was scolding Killua and swatting his boyfriends mushy butt as Killua whined and whimpered, sucking his thumb and still going.
"Hi, I'm Carlo...I was watching your little guy today." Carlo said, holding out a hand.
"Oh, well, thanks. I'm sure he was a handful." Gon said, giving Killua a look then shaking Carlo's hand.
"well he wasn't that bad. it was a lot of fun actually. anyways, here's the rest of the diapers Killua got and asked me to put on him, and if you even need a babysitter, give me a call." Carlo said.
"Heh, i just might, give me your number." Gon said, taking out his phone and handing it to Carlo, one hand still mushing Killua's tush.
"there we go. anyways, you two have fun! Byeeee baby Killua! you were LOTS of fun to play with." Carlo said and waved bye to the stinky big baby.
"Killua, don't be rude!" Gon scolded.
Killua whimpered, knowing there was no way he was living this down, he was gonna be in diapers for at LEAST a month..and knew it was pointless to try and tell the truth now.
Sliding his thumb out of his mouth as he finished loading his diaper, he gave a weak wave to Carlo and in a small voice said
"Bye bye."
The end
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thewritingginger · 3 years
Text
Relief
This isn’t a Holiday prompt request, since I have a bunch of other WIPs I thought I would take a break of those and finish up others ones. So there maybe some back and forth, we’ll see :)
This was a request I got on Wattpad on my Alucard Comfort fic a couple months ago and it was mostly done so... I don’t know too much about Hector’s character but I hope I did him some justice. 
Fandom: Castlevania  Pairing: Hector x GN! Reader Word Count: 2,359 words Warning(s): Kinda sad, comforting Hector, fluff
Enjoy ~
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It has been roughly 4 months since you met the white haired man.
The moment you met him you felt the urge to get near him. Although he was beautiful, it wasn’t his high cheekbones or smooth skin that called you. It was the distant look in his blue eyes, an ocean of sadness. You felt his loneliness from across the room in just one glance. You asked for his name and he hesitated for a moment, like he was contemplating whether or not wanted to be seen more than he had been. ‘Hector.’ Is all he responded with, and the gentle sound of his voice made your soul ring. You smiled and introduced yourself.
Surprisingly enough, he talked to you that night at the bar. Nothing too deep, just menial conversation about your interests and places you’ve both traveled to. But in that short time together you knew it was more than just a ‘talk with a stranger at a bar’ situation.
‘We should meet again.’ you said forwardly. Hector’s eyes studied you for a moment, before responding. ‘I guess that wouldn’t be too miserable.’ You smiled, not just at his words but at the glimmer of something in his eyes that didn’t seem to be there before.
3 months into your meetings, you and Hector had gotten more comfortable around each other. Getting accustomed to your daily presence, one afternoon while the two of you were out on a stroll he asked,
‘Would you care to accompany me home?’ Smiling inwardly you respond casually,
‘Sure.’ With one word you continued your journey in silence, observing the world around you. Following his lead you saw in the distance a lone cottage, made of stone with a smoking chimney and a small garden in front filled with small purple flowers and berries.
Opening the door, you are welcomed with a wall of warmth melting off the cold from outside. Entering the quant space you took a moment to look around as he walked into the kitchen. Having taken off your cloak you drape it on the back of a chair, as you took a seat by the fireplace. He emerged with some water for you both and sat across from you.
That night was the start of what you two came to be.
Hector offered his bed to you that evening. In the middle of the night you got up to get some water. Wrapped in a blanket to fend off the crisp air, you see Hector on the couch under a thin blanket. The fire had died out a few hours before, cooling the room significantly. Forgetting the water you circled around him and crouched down in front of his sleeping face. Taking a moment you took in his being. Laying there, defenseless. Completely free of tension -besides the few shivers that raked through his body - clenching the blanket closer to him. You gently nudge his shoulder a bit, making him stir till he woke in a surprised manner. Sitting up, letting out a deep huff.
‘What’s the matter?’ He asked Eyes squinted, trying to focus on your face.
‘Come lay in your bed, with me.’ You said.
‘N-no that isn’t necessary.’ He stutters a bit, taken aback by your request.
‘You’re shivering out here and two bodies are better than one for gaining warmth.’
He sees that you wouldn’t be taking no for an answer. Sighing a bit he stood up and followed you to his room.
The room was dark, the only source of light came from the moon in the sky. Nothing sat in the room but a bed, a trunk and a small desk with a pile of books next to it. The warm bed called your name once again as a chill ran down your spine. Jumping under the sheets as you were before, you looked over to the forgemaster as he tentatively got under the blankets next to you. His back towards you, a big birth - despite the small size of the bed - between the two of you. Sighing a bit you moved closer to him, wrapping your arm around his broad shoulders. You felt his muscles tense a bit from your touch.
A long moment passes. Silence.
He turned around in your loose grip. His eyes bore into yours. Swimming in his gaze you saw his intensity but you also saw fear. Not the kind of fear you have when there's a monster before you. But the fear you feel when presented with a moment that may change everything, uncertain if for the better or worse.
‘You don’t have to be scared.’ You told him with your eyes.
A wave of compulsion washed over you, leaning forward you gently placed your lips against his. Stunning him, but he didn’t pull away. He kissed you back, deepening the kiss between you.
You both knew that this was the beginning of something between you two. A new chapter in both your lives. Uncertainty waved in the air, but neither one of you paid it mind just enjoyed the shared moment of warmth.
From that night onward everyday was filled with adventures and errands and nights spent listening to the sound of his voice. Telling stories about his life before you, as you fell asleep.
~~~
“Is this what it’s like?” He asks. You stop stirring the pot of food to look at him. His question perplexed you. Coming out of nowhere, unsure of what it was pertaining to. Hector is resting in the armchair by the fireplace beside you, book in hand, just staring at you in thought.
“Is what, like this?” You ask with a chuckle as you put the lid on the pot.
Hector looks down running his free hand through the back of his silver locks. His gaze not meeting yours again. You sit on the couch in front of him, waiting for his answer.
“Having a family.”
His three word answer made your heart hurt a bit. Walking over to him you sit on his lap, draping your legs over the arm of the chair. Resting your arm on his shoulder as you gently stroke his hair, looking at the side of his face. His gaze, still not meeting yours. You bring your other hand up to cradle his cheek in your palm slowly drawing his eyes up to yours.
His face painted in embarrassment. Eyes glistening, sadness threatening to seep out.
There’s that look again.
That uncertainty in his cerulean eyes. Debating whether or not he should continue. Biting his lips together he looks down at the space between you. 
“I ask because ~” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I never had a real family.” His words come out in a rough whisper.  “Why do you say it like you’re ashamed?” You ask with a slight laugh. “Because of what I did.” He responds, somberly. You stopped smiling, knowing you can’t laugh him through this one.
This one was serious.
Not unlike the time he told you where he was inside himself after the death of Dracula.
“What do you mean, ‘what you did’?” You asked, hesitantly.
He shakes his head, peeling your hand off his neck. Lifting you off his lap as he stands.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” He says.
Before you can say anything Hector rushes out the front door. Leaving you to stand there, looking at the old wooden door, shocked and saddened by the events that just transpired.
A few hours had passed. The sun had already made its descent from the day and Hector still hasn’t come back.
The cottage was silent, nothing but the cracking of the fire and heavy pants of Cezar. The undead pug, keeping you company in your newly shared bed. Your head rests upon the pillow, stained with drying tears. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ you asked yourself. Turning to Cezar, scratching behind his remaining ear. “What about you Cezar, do you know what happened?” The pug just barks in response. 
‘Well it was worth a shot.’ you thought.
Wrapped in the blankets and Cezar nestled beside your chest, beginning to drift to sleep you hear someone at the front door. Opening your eyes you sit up, waking the pup. That’s when you heard heavy steps coming closer to the door of the bedroom. You turned over, pretending to be asleep as you heard the door creak open.
The mattress, shifting from his weight on the other side.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers.
“I’ve been too much of a coward to show you all of me. Afraid of what you would think if you knew who I was. Who I am.” His words, a low hum as if he is talking to himself.
You turn over to see his back. His face planted in his palms. Your movements make him freeze.
“You’re awake.” He says. His voice, shaky.
“And you came back.” You said, sounding more surprised than intended.
“Yeah…” He lets out a half-hearted laugh.
There’s that silence again, a long stretch of time as you both hold your breaths.
“I should’ve told you this sooner. That way I wouldn’t have wasted so much of your ti~ ” You cut him off.
“Don’t say that you. You‘ve never even come close to being a waste of time to me.” You say, hoping he believes your words to be true and not just a pretty sentiment  to make him feel better.
Sitting up to prop yourself against your extended arm you say, “Whatever it is I’m sure it’s ~”
“I killed my parents.” He interrupts. Blurting the word out to make himself finally say it. “I-I killed my parents.” He repeats much quieter this time, almost to himself.
You take a second to swallow what he just told you. Fiddling with the sheets in your fingers trying to think of something to say but you don’t know what to say. So you stay quiet.
“It wasn’t out of malice, if that makes it easier for you to look at me.” He says. His words coated in worry.
Worry of what you will say. What you would call him. And most of all what you will do.  
Will you leave him? Like everyone always has. He wouldn’t blame you.
Another moment passes in the tense silence. He sighs in acceptance that you are through. He gets up to leave but you grab his hand from behind. Your soft touch sparked against his skin. Looking down at you, eyebrows furrowed.
“Stay.” Is all you said. Just one word glued a few pieces of his world back together. He sits back down, this time facing you.
“Why? After what I said, why would you want me to stay?” He asks
“Cause you haven’t told me the whole story.” You say.
He looks in your eyes curiously. “Y-you want to know… why does it matter to you?” He questions as he shakes his head slightly.
“Because you said it wasn’t out of malicious intent, so there had to be a reason. Right?” You offer a small curve of your lip.
Looking at you through his lashes. He says a soft “Ok.”
Clearing his throat. Hector then went on to tell you about his home-life as a child, if you could call it that.
The retellings of how his parents would treat him and their greed. The images he painted made your stomach turn a bit.
“At the time I felt I needed to. Like I had no choice.” He says, his words somber.
Reaching out you pull Hector towards you. He willingly falls into your embrace. His head resting on your chest. Soothingly combing your fingers through his silver strands, he holds your free hand in his.
“Even still now I don’t know if I would do anything differently.” He sighs, being thoughtful with his choice of words.
“I have no remorse for what I did.” He lets out an airy chuckle. “Y/n, have I become the very people I grew to despise.? The ones I’ve set my life out to rid the world of?” You think about his question. With confliction rising within you.
“Hector I’m not blind to the fact that you have done less than savory things and others might disagree but…” You pause, retracting your hand from his to guide his chin up to meet your gaze.
“That doesn’t make you a monster.”
Those words rang through his head, pulling a tear from his sockets. Coming from you it was everything he needed at that moment. For years battling with the idea that he is no better than the people who take and hurt others for their own gain, now settles a bit.
He kisses you. The idea that you were just being gentle with him didn’t go unthought about, but that didn’t matter to him. What did matter was you. Someone in his life that wants to be there. What did he do to deserve such a blessing? Was it by chance? And if so, will is this only be a fleeting moment in both your lives. Here one minute and gone the next?
Or could it be the stars aligned. Some cosmic deity put you together knowing he needed someone. Needed you.
Whatever it is, whatever put you in his arms. He couldn’t think of anything else but, “Thank you.” He says. Tears stinging his eyes. Looking up at you with his tear stained cheeks, his large hand cupping your cheek.
“Thank you.”
Those being the only two words he could speak. Saying them like a prayer. Leaning forward you connect your lips to his. The wetness of his cheeks touch yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him closer.
You fall back to the matters. He hovers above you, his fingers playing with your soft locks. His eyes looking at you with certainty. Certainty that you are real. That you will love him. And that you will be his forever.
In that comfortable silence he lays his head against your chest once again. Your fingers stroking his hair as he listens to the steady tempo of your heart beat and drifts to sleep.
Peacefully~. 
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I hope you enjoyed reading this lovelies :3
💛 ~
MASTERLIST
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littlesparklight · 3 years
Text
Ghost Stories
"Hektor."
Startling, Hektor got to his feet on pure reflex as he looked up. Hermes looked too real in the gentle light of Elysium, his smile too large for the flatness of his eyes.
"Wh---"
"I need your help for a moment," Hermes said, his voice swinging up to near joviality as he reached out, grabbed Hektor's hand, and the world twisted. "We'll just circumvent Cerberus this time, he gets so cranky and we're on a time limit!"
"---at." Hektor finished the word as they came out into the world again, the actual world, a brisk breeze Hektor could tell the existence of more from remembered suggestion than truly experiencing it, and he found he was glad for that. He wasn't yet ready to face the real, physical world. Even less so when he recognized the sunset-drenched hill, unfamiliar-familiar ruins peeking up in places they not quite shouldn't.
"You'll probably need this." Hermes said, holding out a hand and letting the medallion drop sharply down from it. It swung lazily back and forth, gleaming gold as if new, edged in red light much like it must have been with blood, once.
Hektor recoiled, stomach churning, but when Hermes let go, he snatched it up before it fell to the ground.
"Why?" Looking away from the god and around them again, Hektor wanted to demand to go back. This was what he had left behind, and he'd had no plans on ever seeing this place again.
"He kicks me out if I try, and that's if I can even find him. I think you'll have better luck."
Snapping back around to stare up at Hermes, Hektor squeezed the medallion in his hand. He might not be real, but the medallion felt as real as the wind didn't, heavy and warming up in his hand, digging into his fingers. There was no need to ask who, the question was more -
"Kicking you out?" One of the gods? The psychopomp, even? Hector shook his head, incredulous. "Shouldn't Helen have better luck? And they told me he didn't want to see us."
He'd asked. Several times, by now, when he'd realized someone was missing. Hermes smiled, cold and tight, and Hektor refused to cringe away from the dread weight now poisoning the air, but it was a near thing.
"Ghosts are their own thing, especially the older they get. Helen he won't even show himself to, she's tried. And you should turn that reasoning around, Hektor." Hermes shoved him, and Hektor stumbled forward, up.
Turn it around? None of them had said anything about not wanting Paris there--- But that wasn't the sticking point, was it? It was what Paris believed that mattered, and for as unapologetic as Paris had been his whole life about what and how he was, that didn't mean he was blind to what people thought. And said. So many things said. Closing his eyes for a moment, Hektor pressed his lips together, then continued. Scaling the hill turned the ruins and cleared pathways into different ruins, cobbled and earth streets, a choking pall of black smoke hanging in the air. There was no fire, but the distant sunset coloured the clouds, bled down the cracked stones. He had not been here, had not seen this. Did not have lungs to ache at the non-existent smoke, but every not-real breath ached anyway, tickling his throat and threatening coughing. There were no corpses, but there didn't need to be.
Hektor was a little embarrassed to have gone to Paris' house at first, when he found it empty. There was a sword sticking out from under the ruin of the bed, and not one that had been Paris'. Hektor ignored it and walked back out. He found Paris in the megaron, sitting on the floor and staring at the bench altar to Zeus. There was the urge to back right out and flee, but, after daring a second look past his stiff reflex, Hektor found no corpses on the altar, no blood. The stench of smoke and blood was thick in here, but there were no corpses. His knuckles ached.
"Go away."
The megaron was dark, and yet there was no mistaking the twisting unease that flickered about the hunched figure, threatening to rear up and lash out. It seemed to be as much from Paris as attached to him, and Hektor frowned.
"Behaving like this isn't becoming, Alexander. It's time to come home---"
Hektor realized he might have chosen the wrong tack, his tone having fallen too easily in familiar chiding, disappointed and sharp on his tongue, when Paris laughed, though it cracked somewhere in the middle and he did not imagine the muffled sob.
"Home? I am home, aren't I? What's left of it, and I--- I'm--- You don't have to pretend like you want me messing up Elysium too. You can just tell Hermes you didn't find me, so you'll still have done your duty and can stop feeling obligated just becau---"
"You have no idea what I feel or want," Hektor snapped as he stormed over, yanking Paris back by his shoulder and then he was airborne, stinging blackness burrowing beneath his skin, trying to make him drop the medallion. He clamped down on it on reflex even when his whole being rattled as he slammed into one of the pillars around the hearth, staggering down to his knees before he caught himself. The smoke-filled ruin threatened to shift back to clear, sunset-lit hill, and it would have been easy to let go. So very easy. He <i>could</i> tell Hermes he hadn't found him, had failed.
But failing wasn't something Hektor had ever allowed himself to do consciously. He dug the edge of the medallion into his palm and the surroundings stabilised.
"Hektor!" Upset, Paris might be, but he flew to his feet and came over all the same, eyes dark and worried.
Dragging more than being part of the miasma that clung to him, now, and Hektor didn't like that. Didn't like either what he was looking at. Not that Paris was any less stunningly pretty than he'd ever been, no. It was more the bruised darkness around his eyes, the harsh corners of his mouth, his messy hair too long and unadorned, the rags. Paris hadn't ever been dressed like that, not even when he'd been relatively poor; he'd taken care and pride to dress as nicely as he could with what means he had. For all that he'd always complained and tried to... encourage Paris to a more proper presentation, this was just wrong.
Paris staggered to his knees when he reached him, and it took Hektor a moment or two to pick out the muffled litany bleeding into his knees. Maybe he had wanted his little brother to take more obvious responsibility than he ever had seemed to while they were alive, but this?
This was just grotesque.
"I've asked the Lord and the Lady several times where you were," he said quietly, dropping his free hand onto the lank, too long curls, tangled by very intentional neglect. "I have been tempted more than once to accuse them of maltreating you and lying to me, for they kept saying you didn't want to see us."
"T-that's true. Because I know, you wouldn't want to---"
"You don't know what I want, little brother." Hektor couldn't help the slight edge that crept into his voice, but he kept his hand light. Under it, against his knees, Paris sobbed, just quietly. "Stop nursing this anger in your heart; you would have no one else do this."
It wasn't, exactly, what he'd once said, but it was similar enough, and by Paris' wavering laugh, he hadn't missed it.
"It's not so much anger as grief, Hektor."
The edge to the miasma wasn't quite so biting, now. Quickly, before something might go wrong, Hektor gathered all that ridiculous hair in one hand so he could shove the medallion about Paris' neck. Paris reared upright, clutching at the medallion as if he couldn't breathe, yanking it up so he could stare at it, but he didn't try to take it off.
"This---" His voice cracked and the miasma surged, but Hektor ducked down and picked Paris up with a grunt. He was lighter than he should be. If a ghost should have any weight at all, but the thing was, Paris looked as slender but broad-shouldered as he always had, enough width to his archer's shoulders to counteract the sleekness elsewhere and not make him look fragile, and he was supposed to be heavier than this.
"Hektor!" There was one hand, near claw-like, digging into his shoulder, the other Paris was clutching around the medallion as if it was a lifeline, and his eyes were huge and dark and with a threatening sheen. There was a tremble around that far too clever mouth Hektor hadn't seen since Paris was ten.
"I'm neither waiting around nor waiting for you to catch up, this time. If I have to carry you out of here for you to understand I'm serious, I will." Hektor glanced at Paris sternly while he took one step towards the megaron's exit, and Paris looked away, the shimmer overflowing.
One thick clump of darkness fell to the floor and evaporated. With every step, more followed, and when Hektor was out of the megaron, the only darkness clinging to Paris was the shadows around his eyes, the ones cast by his own hair on his too-pale face. Hektor still didn't let go, and when Paris turned back around and curled up against him, hiding his face in the crook of his neck, Hektor might have stumbled if he wasn't so determined.
He walked back to Hermes, who smiled at him but said nothing as he took them away from Troy, real and remembered ruins both melting away for the softer darkness of the Underworld.
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carriagelamp · 3 years
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Since it’s Pride Month, I decided this year I wanted to raid the library for a bunch of different queer books to read. Mostly graphic novels in this case, because I’ve had a hard time settling into much reading lately... thought hopefully now that it’s summer and I finally have my second shot I’ll be able to relax a bit more and dig into some heavier novels again. For now, enjoy some light, queer reads that I indulged in this June.
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A Wolf Called Wander
A beautiful novel I had been hearing lots about. This story follows the young wolf Swift, who grows up knowing that he and his pack are the mountains, and the mountains are them. It’s in those mountains that he grows and learns and loves… until disaster strikes and he finds himself viciously torn apart from his family and forced out of the mountains that have always meant home to him. Forced to survive on his own. Swift then begins a gruelling journey that makes him face injury, starvation, and the everpresent danger of humans as he seeks a new place he can call home, and new people with whom he can form a pack.
This is all based on the true story of a tagged wolf known as OR-7, following the unbelievable route he took through Oregon and northern California! It was a very neat read, and I’d definitely recommend it if you enjoy stories told from an animal’s perspective because this book is a master class in it.
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Bloom
I decided for June to try to read a handful of different queer books, and this was one of the first graphic novels I picked up. It is a super sweet story and the art is lovely. It’s about Ari, a boy who has just graduated high school and is now desperate to move away from his small town and his family’s struggling bakery, to join his band in the city where they hope to make it big. An agreement is finally reached: Ari’s father will let him leave, if he can find someone who can replace him in the bakery, which is how Ari meets Hector, someone who sees artistry and peace in baking. For anyone that’s read Check, Please, it gives off those types of vibes!
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Boule et Bill: Bill est Maboul
Another book of Dupuis comics, because I can’t get enough of them! This one I just stumbled across and ended up reading on a whim but it was very cute. Geared younger than the others I’ve read, but still quite funny. It’s the charming hijinks of a young boy, his dog, and the family they live with. Each page or so is a different stand alone joke, a bit like Calvin and Hobbes except expanded beyond a single strip.
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Chicken Run: Chicken Pies for the Soul
This was a ridiculous urge I got and had to follow. I recently rewatched Chicken Run (which is, of course, one of the best movies ever made) and felt the need to see if it had ever been novelized. Well, I found something better than a novelization! This is a chapter book with “advice” and stories written by the various characters, post-movie. It really does a good job with grasping the different characters’ voices and making something simple and funny out of it. It was very cute (and available on The Internet Archive if anyone else feels like reading something ridiculous!)
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Doodleville
I picked this up on a whim and honestly, I shouldn’t have bothered. It was not very impressive. Very mediocre, awkward feeling artwork, and a story that only slightly manages to redeem it. The concept was kind of neat, and I did like how the ending came about, the rest was rather… plodding. I did not like the main character at all, her friends felt very Intentionally Quirky Aren’t We Cute :3 in a way that just tries too hard, and… yeah. Meh. It technically gets the “queer graphic novel flag” but it’s so in-passing that it feels rather excessive to give it that.
If you are interested, it’s about a world were doodles actually exist as living creatures that can be drawn into existence (the rather unsettling implications of which is never fully explored). This is all well and good, until the main character draws a monster and takes it with her to her art club... where it begins ravanging not only her doodles, but those of her friends. Together they need to work together to figure out how to stop this menace.
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FRNCK v4
Phenomenal. I adore the FRNCK series, and book four wrapped up the first “cycle”, revealing several of the big secrets dogging the series so far, and changing how things are going to be able to run in the future.
If you haven’t seen me talk about it before, FRNCK is a graphic novel (a franco-belgian bande dessinée) about a young orphan, Franck, who’s chafing under the constant parade of uninterested foster parents that visit the orphanage he lives in. Determined to learn about his mysterious abandonment instead, he flees the orphanage… but finds himself tumbling through time, landing among a family of cave-people who rather reluctantly take him in and ensure this modern boy doesn’t die in the strange, dangerous new surroundings he finds himself in. You can get these ones in English as e-books, so if you want a really kickass graphic novel series to read please try these.
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Haikyu!!
I’ve heard so much about Haikyu!! that I finally gave in and picked up the first book from the library. And I gotta say, it’s well worth the hype! This series really does capture the best parts of a good sports manga -- which is to say the team is filled with interesting, enjoyable character who all need to learn to pull together, boost each other’s strengths, and cover for each other’s weaknesses. Love me some found family tropes and this series oozes it in the best possible way. And then you also get some very cool action scenes as it makes high school volleyball seem like the most intense thing on earth. I can’t wait to continue it
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Queer Eye
I haven’t been keeping up with Queer Eye but I was watching it ravenously when it first came out, and this seemed like a very cathartic book to read… and it really was. It had the same gentle, loving encouragement as the show. It doesn’t expect you to change your entire life, but to learn to embrace who you are, and take small steps to enhance those things. There a segment written (presumably) by each member of the Fab Five, explaining the mentality behind what they do on the show and how you can grow in those areas too. It’s very zen.
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Spinning
I got this graphic novel out at the same time as Bloom, but it was the one that interested me less of the two... though that’s just because I have less interest in “real world” slice of life as a genre and this one is meant to be autobiographical. If you’re into that, you’ll probably love this because it really is stunning. Very pretty, and the format and pacing is all really well done. It’s a coming of age story for Tillie as she grows up dealing with a crosscountry move, complicated friendships, a burgeoning attraction to girls, and attending competitive figure skating classes.
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This Place: 150 Years Retold
A stunning and heart-wrenching graphic novel told by a collection of different First Nation’s authors/artists, recounting oral histories about the 150 years since the colonialist formation of the country known as “Canada”. In other words, this is a post-apocalypse story, but one that really happened and that entire peoples are still fighting to survive. It’s very eye opening and beautifully told. Very strongly recommend the read, especially if you’re at all interested in history.
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Torchwood: Serenity
Whoops, not technically a book. I had thought these were technically audiobooks at first, but rather they’re audio dramas that were played on the radio. Still, I decided to include one because I’ve been listening to them like a person possessed and they’re too fun not to at least mention. Let me indulge in my obsessions.
If you don’t know Torchwood, it’s a BBC series that spins-off from Doctor Who, focusing on the enigmatic and flirtatious Captain Jack Harkness, who is running the covert organization known as Torchwood, which is tasked to protect humanity from and prepare them for alien contact. It’s goofy and campy but also more adult and heavy than Doctor Who tends to get, so it is (in my opinion) a really fascinating series. Though it also has content warnings coming out the wazoo so maybe make sure it’s for you before delving in.
Serenity specifically is possibly one of the best Torchwood stories I’ve ever experienced. The Torchwood team concludes that there’s an undercover alien hiding in the idyllic gated community Serenity Plaza, and so that means it’s up to Jack and Ianto to go undercover as a happily married couple and flush out the alien without being discovered first. Even if it means being sickly sweet together, pretending to care about the local neighbourhood barbecues, and actually caring a bit too much about the Best Front Lawn competition. What is truly magical about this one, is that it manages to make it a Fake Dating AU despite the fact that Jack and Ianto are actually dating in canon. But they’re both used to dating as a pair of alien hunters with insanely dysfunctional lives, and who now need to figure out how to deal with domesticity. It is marvellous.
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Wilderlore: The Accidental Apprentice
A middle grade novel that felt a bit like a cross between Harry Potter and Pokemon. It’s about orphan Barclay Thorne who wants nothing more than to be accepted in the rule-bound village of Dullshire, and live up to his apprenticeship as a mushroom farmer. He certainly wants nothing to do with the fearsome Beasts who live beyond the village, deep in the Woods or the sinister Lorekeepers that bond with them. It was, after all, a Beast that had killed his parents all those years ago. But when he finds himself at the very edge of the forest, hunting for an elusive mushroom, he is suddenly unable to avoid any of that. Not when a wild girl and her bonded dragon appear to summon a horrible Beast and end up getting Barclay bonded to it instead. Now, if Barclay ever wants to be welcomed back into his home, he has no choice but to venture into the Woods and find a way to sever the bond imprisoning him to the massive, monstrous wolf now imprinted on his body as a living tattoo.
I honestly can’t decide how I felt about this one. I feel like it’d be a really fun read for maybe a grade 5 to 7 student? I was a bit more meh about it. It was fine, but it was very hard not to draw unfavourable parallels to Harry Potter. But for a kid who’s never read Harry Potter? Or even an adult that has but is looking for something different to scratch that itch, this might be a good book to try. I’ll probably try reading the second book when it comes out.
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finnoky · 3 years
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AU where Quirin takes and raises Eugene after the DK falls
•| Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts |•
Oh you have no idea how much this enables me - I stand by Quirin raising Eugene until the end of time bc it’s what they BOTH deserve
1) Oki so, here we see Eugene taken away as a baby without disclosing an EXACT location — that will not stop Quirin though, who had a stance against cutting him off completely despite it being Edmunds orders [It made sense to send the boy away but to send him to an ORPHANAGE was another story] Quirin finds Eugene a month or so after they get separated, during that time he found a house and a stable farm to raise a kid on [Gotta have an income] and then promptly goes to the orphanage and adopts Eugene.
By then, Eugene’s name has already been changed and frankly... Quirin thinks it suits him, though he occasionally slips up and calls him Horace. He feels a duty to raise the Prince but also kinda has a “My son now” mentality! Disagrees with Edmunds choices + decides... His kingdom is doomed, so he’s gonna ensure Eugene gets a stable upbringing with KNOWLEDGE of the Dark Kingdom without necessarily telling him “Oh BTW you’re the prince”. Being a father is hard and he struggles a lot, esp in early days, it’s a whole new challenge from being a knight but... Not one he really regrets?
Cue some fluff! Knight-dad trying to raise a baby and establish a life in a new country — Over time he grows and becomes Village Leader + Develops a bond with the monarchs based on his knowledge and previous high-rank in society from being a knight! Gets offered a guard position but turns it down in favour of spending time with his toddler son. Eugenes first word is Dada and Quirins never felt so content. Baby fluff of Eugenes milestones — Quirin has Eugene helping on the fields as soon as he can toddle without tripping (tho it’s mostly Eugene playing and running around while Quirin works) Toddler Eugene is a little darling and knows exactly how to use his cuteness to get praise and sweets
2) Eugene starts thievery / acting out soon after Quirin dates and marries Ulla, though it soon become a hobby he usually indulges in with his friend Arnie [though they take on the names of the coolest book characters Flynn Rider and Lance Strongbow!] Quirin thinks it’s just a phase and leans into the whole calling Eugene ‘Flynn’ because... He really loves the books, that’s not too odd? Though he doesn’t know of crimes + just thinks they go out to play a lot. Eugene ignored Ulla for the first few weeks because he doesn’t like the idea of someone new staying around — He doesn’t hate her, it just raises a lot of questions about his mum that Quirin doesn’t know how to answer... He resolved on the explaination that she was very sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore, though loved him dearly — it’s enough to placate him.
Eugene doubles down on stealing when he’s 10 and suddenly there’s gonna be a new baby in the house. [He doesn’t WANT a sibling + worries Quirin will love the baby more than him since he knows he’s adopted & all that though is too scared to ask] Eugene grows an attitude and Quirin finds himself exhausted and constantly caught in petty bickers as Eugene keeps running away + acting up, especially to his wife (Who loves Eugene very much, of course) ‘Flynn’ declares he wants to travel the world and be far away from step-mums and nasty babies, uhhh Domestic fall out stuff?
Things change when baby gets here and suddenly Eugene is a big brother and Quirin is MORE distracted, sometimes they forget to even read him a story and he can’t stand the squirmy little creature... All it does is cry and take what little attention his misbehaviour had earned him... So naturally, petty crime continues + Eugene starts caring less about getting caught, so it becomes more risky. He and Lance befriend some bad influences and start taking Big Kid Crime. It’s fun! Until Eugene is brought home by a guard and Quirin gives him the silent treatment for the next week. Quirin... He loves his sons, both of them, but he just isn’t sure how to handle a distressed 11 year old and a baby, it feels like there’s not enough hours in the day and Eugene is SET on making life harder for everyone.
Eugene stays against ‘Varian’, frequently makes the baby the villain in his games and makes him cry on several occasions. It gets even worse when he starts crawling bc now he can’t get anytime alone, it’s just frustrating! The solution probably comes when Varians starting to talk and he says ‘Oo-gee’ as one of his first words — ‘Lisa’s first word’ style — and Quirin and Ulla admit that Varian is obsessed with Eugene. It’s sorta a wake up call for Eugene to start trying to get along with the kid, and it works! He finds it fun to teach him things & have someone to talk to (even if he just babbles back) By the time Eugene is 12 he’s calling Ulla mum and love spending time with his little brother
3) Right! When Eugene is about 18 he picks up theiving again, mostly because he isn’t suited to the farm life and it’s easy money (Plus how else is he gonna achieve his dream of financial independence?) He moves out the farm under the guise of finding a new life with his best friend, though they quickly realise it’s not amazing when they get tangled up with the Baron + his antics. Eugene visits home every so often and claims everything is fine, it’s going great, he doesn’t need any extra help + his life is just dandy. His dishonesty mostly bc he doesn’t wanna worry Quirin and there’s been a bit of a strain since Ulla passed away.
Life keeps on like this. Eugene ages, steals alchemy supplies for Varian and hides his true income source because he wants to make Quirin and Varian proud! Varian grows up to be more headstrong in what he wants because he has someone standing up for him and telling him he’s proud, though the longer Eugene spends away the harder it gets? He loves it when Eugenes here! But the house feels empty without him, and Quirin is so busy + stressed from Varians experiments that there’s still that desire to do more, prove himself.
4) Movie diverts a bit! Eugene finds out about the hair glow and thinks... If one person knows about this then it’s him, and takes Rapunzel to Old Corona over night rather than a campfire. Varian is ecstatic to see him though gets confused by a random girl Eugene claims to have just found — He’s about to ask questions when Eugene asks if Varian could do his magic thing to find out about her hair. Varian insists it’s alchemy and agrees, dragging Raps down into the lab! Boop gothel talks to her when Varians gathering all the equipment and talks her ear off about how cool Eugene is and asks how they found each other since the story is weird... Experiements start!
Meanwhile Eugene is talking to Quirin, when Quirin pulls out a wanted poster and puts it on the table. He finally found out about how bad Eugenes crimes are and wants answers. Now. Eugene sits and tries to explain its not what it looks like, but Quirin doesn’t wanna hear it. The disappointment is evident and Quirin criticises “I thought you grew out of this, what role model is this for Varian?” Eugene doesn’t have an answer but argues his case that it was to be reliant — and he doesn’t wanna do it anymore anyway! Quirin accuses him of using the girl, while Eugene insists her name is Rapunzel and he’s just helping her, get the crown, be set for life and never have to bother him again.
Their argument is cut short by a Varian coming back upstairs looking frazzled, says there’s something about the magic that’s familiar but he can’t place it — sure is strong tho, and continues gushing and asking Eugene for all the details of what he’s been up to. Eugene... Explains, his usual light-hearted rendition of a great quest, while Quirin leaves and stays upstairs the rest of the night.
Varian sees them off in the morning! Hours after they’re gone Vari is still looking into the magic thing — that’s when he remembers the old legend about a sundrop... about how it saved the Queen... About the Princess. Varian sneaks out the house and heads up to the lantern festival to tell Eugene and Rapunzel his revelation, but he gets there just as Eugene is being lead away by guards. Varian finds Max and tells him how they need to free Eugene + basically... Helps him escape with fewer pub thugs and more alchemy. When they get to the tower Eugene tells Varian to stay on the floor and climbs up to help Raps - Varian stays at the bottom of the tower for approx 10 minutes before finding the back entrance and climbing up. Figure he gets there just as Gothel deages, it’s suddenly and before anyone knows it Varian is the one pushing her out the window bc he saw a stabbed Eugene and put two and two together. Then! Cue New Dream scene, except Varian is sitting on the floor in shock a distance away... After New Dream hug Eugene looks at him and Varian admits that “Ok, magic isn’t that bad”
5) Oh god the series! First off — Raps is closer with Varian in this (that’s becoming a theme...) so doesn’t just throw him out into the blizzard when he comes asking for help. Instead he and Eugene go back to Old Corona together after the storm, Varian isolates himself from guilt + has a tough time dealing with what happened, but he lives in the castle as Eugene starts getting angrier with the king and wants answers for what happened. He’s the one that finds Dark Kingdom stuff and he and Varian work on it together... Eugene has a suspicion he came from the Dark Kingdom so when the rocks start pointing there he’s like dope!
No villain Varian joins them on the trek to the Dark Kingdom + it’s all fun and games, Eugene tries to get more answers from Adira as they travel but she says it’s not her place to say... All he needs to know is the kingdom fell, and everyone was evacuated... She’s almost annoyed as she explains it, then Hector is treble annoyed when he finds out Eugene was raised by QUIRIN since that went against the direct orders... Though Adira defends it and says he was doing his duty of keeping Eugene safe, it’s basically a rift between them that’s confusing until they get to the DK and the revelation happens.
I feel... Moongene could be a thing in this AU? but since I’m running out of points I’ll leave it with Cass taking her canon role! I will point out! when Quirin is freed initially only Varian runs into his arms... Eugene hadn’t really spoken to Quirin properly since their movie fallout & he’s not sure he belongs... Until Quirin holds and arm out to him and pulls him into the hug too (PARALLLELS) and we get a happy reunited family (tho with some issues to work out regarding somethings... they need to rebuild trust, but work on it slowly. Edmund stays ‘Edmund’ to Eugene. He sees Quirin as his father & doesn’t push as much to reconnect with Edmund... Though that makes it easier in a way. There’s less pressure once Edmund understands and they form a friendship, but Quirin is Dad 100% (Sometimes Edmund gets called Dad 2))
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fookinfandoms · 4 years
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Life Eternal | Hector Castlevania
Set before Dracula requested Hector’s services. Reader is believed to be a witch, but in reality she just doesn't care for human company.
Pairing: Hector x Reader
Warnings: Language, small mention of smut, mentions of animal death/resurrection. 
Part One.
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They call you a witch, and you never bothered to correct them.
It was preposterous, you were nothing of the sort. You never really understood why the townspeople hated outsiders so much. It had been months since you had settled in, yet you couldn't get as much as a smile from your own neighbour.
There was one woman however that would spare you a few words, that is if you paid her some coin in exchange for her cooked goods.
Was it because you didn't attend church? Perhaps it was because you choose to remain in the company of your dog over the local women's group that congregated every Thursday. The people weren't friendly at all, and you often wondered if you made the right decision in moving to such a tight-knit community. 
You weren't the only outsider however. It had been three weeks after you had moved in when you saw him. 
He wasn't like the others here. 
He kept his head down, his voice to himself. Even when the people would throw abuse at him, he kept his eyes to the dirt. It both saddened and confused you, wondering why such was happening. He didn't look like some brute, nor some boisterous drunk... so why did they all hate him?
Finding the courage to ask the baker, she informed you that he dabbled in dark magic, and was often found talking to wild animals. He lived on the big hill, and she continued to babble on about how he was rumoured to bring animals back to life. This surprised you, and you asked for more information but she held her hand out for more coin.
It didn't bother you as much as it should, for you spoke mainly to animals too. Your small companion - a beagle named Rhubarb. He was your best friend and the only family you had left. He wasn't everyone’s cup of tea that's for sure, often stealing fish from the baskets from local fisherman. 
This was life. 
It was Rhubarb and you against the world, that is until you came home from your weekly trip to the market, having bought new blankets for the two of you when you found Rhubarb lying on the side of the road. 
He stayed unmoving, even after calling his name twice. Rain poured down heavily, and you wondered why the silly dog hadn't run under a tree yet. You knelt down by his side, placing your basket by his head. 
He still didn't move, and your breath caught in your throat.
It took you some seconds to realise he wasn't breathing, and you screamed out in anguish at the sight. Your hands shook as you pulled his small, limp body into your arms, holding him in an embrace as you sob.
His fur was darkened in harsh line, and you knew someone had purposely run over him with a carriage. He knew better than to play on the road, but being an older dog, he wasn't as quick as he used to be. 
He was your life. 
Rhubarb still had years ahead of him, running past your feet and stealing fishes from baskets. Who would be so cruel to run over a dog? On purpose? 
The tears wouldn't stop falling. Was this your curse in life? Everyone you loved being taken away from you?
No. 
If there was a way to bring him back, you will have to try. 
You wrap Rhubarb in one of the new blankets, careful not move too quickly. There was only one destination on your mind, and you hoped the baker was right. The rain had soaked through your dress completely, clinging to you like a second skin.  
Your hair blew in the wind, tangling into a mess, and tiny sobs still escaped you as you cuddled your beloved friend in your arms. 
You weren't sure how long you had been walking for. Minutes? Hours? It felt like days by the way you shivered in the storm. In reality it had only been twenty minutes, but each step felt like an eternity. If this didn't work, you didn't know what you would do. 
The sky had long since turned dark, and you felt no fear as you walked. Finally, light could be seen ahead, and you silently prayed to whoever was listening that he was home. Lighting struck from behind you, and your breathing came out harshly as you trudged up the hill. 
You wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't hear your kicks against his front door over the sound of thunder. Your hands were full, and you were sure your toes would be bruised over how hard you kicked. 
The door didn't budge, and so you kicked again, over and over. 
The tears continued to fall, and desperation came out in small cries as your arms grew weak from the heavy weight. 
“Please,” You yell out. “I know you're in there! Please!”
The door finally opens, nearly causing you to lose balance. He stands in front of you, face full of anger at the intrusion. 
“What the bloody hell do you want?” He peers down at you in confusion, his eyes staring into yours. If it weren’t for the fact you were currently shivering and holding your deceased dog in hand, you would’ve said something about his unique appearance. “Well?”
“Y-you have to help me,” You held Rhubarb closer to you. “They s-said you could help!”
The man pays no attention to the bundle in your arms, instead choosing to shut the door. He doesn’t get the chance however, as your foot wedges itself before it could close.
“What are yo-“
“He didnt deserve this!” You cry, ignoring the pain shooting up your leg at the sharp movement. The rain pours even harder, and there’s not one part of you dry.
“He?” The man questions, and instead of replying, you peel back an edge of the blanket, revealing a limp paw.
His eyes narrow slightly, before he looks back to you. “What are you asking of me here?”
“I think you know exactly what I’m asking.”
“The last time I helped somebody,” He shakes his head. “It didn’t work in my favour. Leave.”
“I will pay you anything, I will slave away in the kitchens if I have too,” Begging was your last resort. “I will give you myself for Christ’s sake! Just please help him!”
He sighs, his head looking towards the ceiling as if in deep thought before letting the door open again. He steps aside, signalling for you to enter. You do so quickly, immediately feeling better at the warmth. It didn’t help that your clothes were completely drenched. Gods, you probably did look like a witch right now.
“Well?” The man says from behind you, and you turn your head. His arms are outstretched, asking for you to pass the animal over.
Your teeth clatter as you shiver yet again, but you gently pass Rhubarb over to the stranger. He takes him with as much care, and your hands immediately begin to rub at your upper arms for warmth.
He begins to walk away, further into the house and you follow suit. A cat runs past your feet as you pass through a hallway, and it’s then you notice half her face missing. It surprises you to find that you’re not scared, and the further you look around the more you begin to notice plenty more pets.
“Don’t pay them any mind, they won’t harm you.” The stranger mumbles ahead, and you whip your head in his direction.
“I’m not worried, they seem pleasant.” Your tone matches his, and he chuckles. He stops, turning his head around with a forced grin.
“Pleasant. They’re dead. They don’t like strangers, so don’t get too comfortab-“ As if on cue, another cat rubs their head against your leg, and the stranger frowns. “Well that’s new.”
“Most animals like me, even the dead ones I guess.” You shrug, bending down to pet the cats head. It’s stomach is exposed, and your heart aches knowing the animal must’ve suffered before meeting the magic man.
“And this one?” He nods towards the bundle in his arms, and your bottom lip quivers. He begins to walk again, and you wipe away a stray tear.
“T-that’s Rhubarb,” You stand, following once more. “I’ve had him since I was young.”
“So old age got him then.”
“No,” The man was taken back by the sudden change of your tone. “Someone in the town killed him on purpose, they don’t like me and they certainly didn’t like him.”
“Bastards.” His jaw clenched at the news.
“I guess it was easier to kill my boy than it was to kill me.” He nods in agreement.
“They’re scum, all of them.”
It was your turn to nod. Finally the two of you came to a room, a stone table laying in the centre. Various knives stood at the side, and your stomach dropped.
As if sending your unease, the man shakes his head. “I’m a forge master, there is no need to worry about those.”
It didn’t exactly help calm your nerves, but realising the man was actually a forge master and not some magician made more sense. Forge masters weren’t exactly liked in the world, much to your confusion.
“I’m Hector,” Hector places Rhubard down on the table, removing the blanket off of him. “And you are?”
“(Y/N),” You stood in the back as Hector moved around. His movements were graceful, and your chest tightened at the site of your beloved pet. “I moved here recently.”
He chuckes. “I thought as much, we don’t get many of your kind here.”
“My kind?” The air turned colder by the second, and you slowly made your way to the fireplace in an attempt to warm up, keeping your eyes on the forgemaster.
“Good-hearted.” His hands rest of Rhubarbs stomach, petting him as if he were alive.
“How do you know I’m good hearted? I don’t think even forgemasters can read souls.”
“You offered me your body in exchange for your dogs life,” He looks back at you with a genuine smile. “Not many people would do that. No sane person at least.”
“Most sane people have others in their life to keep them as such, I only have him.”
“Well let me just say that there will be no need for such payment, I can see you care deeply for him.” Hector reaches for a peculiar shaped coins. “But you may want to look away, it gets quite bright.”
You do as he says, choosing to look at the fire. The room grows dark as Hector works, and you close your eyes, silently hoping for success. Minutes go by, the sound of metal on metal ringing through your ears as you breathe out quickly.
The ringing continues for sometime, before the whole room goes quiet. The only sound heard is the cracking of the fire, that is until a familiar bark startles you.
Your eyes open, and you’re met immediately with a beagle at your feet, jumping onto his hind legs in an attempt to climb on you. You fall to your knees, your arms surrounding Rhubarb as he licks at your cheeks. His eyes are no longer a dark brown, instead a shimmering blue. You didn’t care, all that mattered now was that he was alive.
“Oh my darling boy,” You cried, letting the small dog climb into your lap. “My sweet, sweet boy.”
Hector wipes his hands with a clothe, before clearing his throat.
“You have to let me pay you somehow,” You sniff as Rhubarb continues whining for attention. “You have a gift Hector.”
“Others don’t think so.” He laughs, throwing the clothe onto the table.
“The others can go jump off a cliff for all I care,” The beagle in your lap jumps away, turning his attention to Hector for pats. “You saved him, that matters to me.”
“Yes well right now you’re getting my floorboards wet,” Hector kneels down to Rhubarbs level. “So if you’re wanting to pay me somehow, you can pay me but dressing into something more comfortable and staying.”
Your stomach drops at his words, and as if realising his own innuendo, he stumbles over his next words.
“N-no not like that! I just m-mean it’s too dangerous to return home right n-now,” Hector coughs, his cheeks turning a small tinge of pink. “You know with the storm in all, and it would’ve been a w-waste of both our efforts tonight.”
In just a span of a few minutes, Hector went from a cocky forgemaster to a blubbering mess. It made you giggle, and he releases a few small chuckles himself as he scratches the back of his neck.
“Alright, I’ll stay.”
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penguintransporter · 3 years
Text
Winning The Game Called Love (Hector Bellerin) Part I
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Here it is my ladies and gents! I hope you like it, and I apologise if it’s too long, but I got carried away. Please let me know if you like it because I am always up to work on my writing, so don’t hesitate to write me DM or send in an ask (I promise, I am the friendliest person out there). This one is dedicated to @bitchforaesthetics. Anyway, read, enjoy because part II is coming out very soon...
P.S. There is no covid-19 in this story :D
_____
If one asked anyone at the Arsenal Training Centre to describe Aida - the young brunette behind the reception desk, nine out of ten times one would hear the same answer:
Bundle of positive energy. 
It didn’t matter if one was a know or less-known footballer, coach, manager, medical staff or just a random fan touring the grounds - Aida, with her smile and positive energy, could chase away whatever dark cloud was looming above one's head. Yet, despite her contagious smile that was just loud enough and genuine curiosity, as any other human being, Aida wasn’t able to chase away the real dark clouds that seemed to clutch Hertfordshire sky in a tight embrace on that Monday morning. 
Seated behind the desk and waiting for her laptop to turn on, Aida observed the gloominess outside the building and all she saw was heavy blots of grey that seemed to carry all the weight accumulated during the month of December. 
Her last month at Arsenal FC, doing the job she enjoyed more than anything.
If it only had snowed; just a little.
 She would be lying if she said she liked freezing cold, and if anyone, she would be the absolute winner of “the worst balance on icy pavements” competition - if there was one - but Christmas had a different feel to it when everything was covered in fluffy and pillow white cover. And even if she wasn’t religious or celebrated Christmas as the majority of the people, she was a firm believer that snowy Christmas made that cup of hot cocoa, as she sat in her tiny studio under her favorite blanket, just a tiny bit better. 
Aida glanced at the small card that sat next to her laptop - red and golden swirls decorating the backside of it, and with a sigh she averted her gaze back at the laptop screen that had already turned on and was humming quietly - red Arsenal FC logo staring back at her. The large and Christmas decorated lobby was still quiet, but not for too long. In just a few minutes, most of the footballers and some other employees will start pouring into the building, either for training or for their 9/5 job, and with that the building will start buzzing with contagious energy. 
All except Sead. He was late on most of the days.
Aida looked at the clock in the corner of her screen before looking up expectantly at the door, and as if on cue, Alexandre Lacazette walked in through the door, talking to his fellow countryman Thomas who worked as a medical assistant. Both Aida and Thomas, along with some others were shortlisted for the layoff, but in the end it was Aida who pulled out the shorter straw. 
She shook her head, refusing to create unnecessary tension.
 Aida knew that she gained nothing from sulking and sadness. She still had to sit behind the reception desk for another few weeks, smiling and giving the best first impression to everyone who came in. So, with a deep breath, Aida lifted her chin high and looked at the two men in front of her. 
“Bonjour lads,” she grinned - the dark thoughts disappearing as soon as she spoke, leaning on the till in front of her. “Lovely weather outside, no?”
“Good morning indeed, sunshine,” Alexandre responded while still walking across the lobby, “I am actually wearing my bikini on underneath this outfit, what about you?” he added as he disappeared through the hallway that led to the changing rooms while Aida only laughed after him.  
“What a ridiculous man,” Thomas commented, stepping in front of Aida’s desk, smiling at her. “It is so cold outside. How did you travel?”
Aida sighed defeatedly. “Clio took four tries and a bottle of warm water to start this morning, despite the lack of snow and ice. I was really chuffed for this winter, but so far it has only been disappointing.” 
Her soon-to-be ex-colleague nodded, agreeing with her words before his eyes landed on the shiny invitation on Aida’s desk. “Oooh,” he mused, running a hand through his ginger curls. “Who’s date are you? Is it David? Please say it’s not him?”
“Nope!” Aida replied, giggling. There was nothing wrong with David Luiz - he was in fact a genuine sweetheart, but also notorious around the building for his charm and flirting action. Whether it was Aida at the reception desk when he needed an excuse for being late for the training or if it was Simone in the kitchen when he wanted another round of hash browns - he didn’t pick his victim nor his weapon. “Actually,” Aida started, “it was Finn from HR. He thought it would be a nice gesture since I do not get to stay here.”
“I don’t have to tell you again how sorry I am that you have to leave,” Thomas mumbled and Aida shrugged, hiding the disappointment. 
“Oh well,” she trailed off as few of the other players walked into the building and she made sure that she smiled at each one of them. She also made sure to high-five Calum Chambers as she did every morning for more than a year. “There is nothing that you can do really… Post?” she asked, trying to change the subject, and Thomas nodded, leaning over the till to grab the signing pad that rested on Aida’s desk while she shuffled some envelopes before pulling out a big, mustard yellow one. “There is something from Miami. I am assuming it is for Michael,” Aida spoke, exchanging the signing pad for the envelope. “Just tell me if there—  ,”
They were cut off by  the upstairs’ doors slamming shut with a force. Both her and Thomas looked up, watching Mikel Arteta walk downstairs with a risky speed - phone pressed to his ear as he spoke in a very quick and heavily accented English. Thomas quickly cast his eyes downwards, but Aida kept her eyes locked at the dark-haired man, waiting for the manager to notice her. When he finally did, she gave him a bright smile - ignoring the fact that he looked as if he was angry with the whole world - including Aida.
To Thomas’ surprise, Arteta returned Aida’s gesture with a friendly grin and a small wink before putting his agitated face expression back, walking away towards the training pitches.
“I really don’t know how you do it,” Aida’s colleague muttered, and she responded with a childish giggle. 
She was about to add something sarcastic, but the main entrance doors opened, letting the gust of cold wind trail in with force as Héctor Bellerín walked in with confidence that he mastered so well. He was dressed in clothes that resembled every outfit of Aida’s dad in the family photographs from the nineties, looking the only way Héctor Bellerín could -  both ridiculous and extremely cool at the same time.
“Want to watch me how I fail?” she whispered before clearing her throat a little, following their vice-captain with her green eyes. “Good morning, Héctor!” she called out, raising her voice so he could hear her perfectly. “Bollocks weather, innit?”
Nothing.
Not an eye-contact, a simple shrug, or any kind of motion or face expression that showed a tiniest bit of interest. 
Aida was aware that her friendliness sometimes caused people to recoil and shy away from her, and that her behavior could be overbearing at times, and she often wondered if people in the modern world, including Héctor, forgot how to be friendly and appreciate an honest smile. Aida was confused and a slightly bit hurt because it has been more than a year since she started working  for the club, and they only spoke two times - morning of her first day, and that time when they accidentally slammed into one another as they crossed their paths in the medicals. 
She wasn’t sure if she was doing something wrong because to Aida, he seemed like a nice and down to earth lad, and occasionally when she would observe him interact with his teammates and other staff members, she felt a pang of jealousy because she never got more than a cold stare across the room or occasional roll of his eyes.
“Maybe he’s just not a morning person,” Thomas commented, breaking Aida’s train of thoughts. He placed the envelope under his arm as he stuck his woolly hat inside the pocket of his puffer. “Anyway, I have to go. I have meeting in ten minutes. I’ll see you around.” 
“Yeah, good luck with your day,” Aida responded, watching Thomas walk towards his office on the ground floor. 
She sat back in her comfy chair with an itch of confusion mixed with some foreign feeling of sadness that started to tickle her. She couldn’t pinpoint what she was doing wrong when it came to Héctor Bellerín. They barely interacted, and yet he wasn’t giving her a chance. It didn’t help either that out of all people that Aida interacted with on a daily basis, he was the only one who made her heart both flutter and break at the same time. 
Her eyes glanced at the small calendar taped on the inside of her desk before resting on the party invitation again - her heart soaring with that familiar feeling.
**
Aida nodded, forcing a smile at some of the guests who passed her by. She wasn’t sure who they are or what their names were, but judging by their expensive clothes and blinding jewelry and watches, she figured out they must be very important people with lots of money.
The evening of the charity party has arrived quicker than she expected; quicker than she wanted, and even if the party was for a good cause, and she was meant to have a good time, she couldn’t shake off the tension that slowly accumulated over the past few weeks - her last weeks as the club’s employee. She didn’t want to leave, but despite talking with the HR department once again, there was nothing that she could do. Official answer was that the previous season was really bad for the club both, in terms of injury and finances, and that they had to cut the cost when it came to everything, including staffing. 
“Ada!” a boy’s scream rang out over the classical music they played, making Aida look up from where she was standing, and observing her pointy loafers and tiny specks of water residue from the drizzle of rain she caught on the way from the parking lot to the party.
Aida’s eyes connected with the small boy, dressed in a mini version of the official Arsenal FC suit as he ran towards her - his curly and unruly hair giving him a few extra inches in height. Despite feeling anxious and a bit sad, Aida smiled greatly at him, crouching down to his level before catching him in a tight embrace. Over his shoulder, she noticed his mother Alysha giving her an apologetic smile, but with a small nod, Aida reassured her that it was okay. She spent a lot of time with the boy on more than one occasion - in fact,  whenever Pierre-Emerick brought him to the centre, Pierre Jr. spent half of his time, sitting behind Aida’s desk as he talked in delight about his favorite cartoons and toys. 
“My God, look at you! You are so handsome tonight,” Aida mused and the boy giggled, embracing her once again, silently asking her to lift him up, and Aida obliged. Letting out a puff of air, she straightened up with the boy in her arms - it always surprised her to learn that he was heavier than he looked. With a smirk, she pulled at this red tie jokingly. “Has your daddy helped you with your tie?” she asked, tickling his stomach.
Pierre Jr. let out a loud cackle, squirming in her arms. “No, it was mamie. She also tied daddy’s.” Aida smiled at the boy’s mix of using French and English words, but as soon as the boy started telling her something about minions, Aida, as much as she hated to admit, stopped listening. 
The fact that she was going to be without a job occupied her brain and wasn’t something she was able to push away easily. Where did it go wrong? Obviously, like everyone else, she had her fair share of personal problems over the year, but she managed to keep them away from work - being nothing but professional and friendly the entire time. Aida always tried to give her best, treating everyone with nothing but respect, and even ran a couple of successful campaigns with the fans touring the grounds, but it was all in vain. 
Aida loved the club and being part of it. She loved the mornings when she would be one of the first to arrive, she loved that cup of coffee with Simone in the empty canteen, listening to all the anecdotes that happened since the older lady started working in the kitchen, fifteen years ago. Aida enjoyed the silly banter with footballers and the staff - heck, she even liked when Granit mispronounced her name and she had to correct him every day. She experienced so many nice moments during the past fourteen months and it felt so strange knowing that soon enough those moments will just be a nice memory.
“—so I told Curtys to stop hitting me with the pillow, but he didn’t. So I ate his hobnobs.”
Aida blinked quickly, reverting back to the reality from her thoughts and looked down at the little boy who was proudly explaining his hobnob revenge on his older brother. 
“Great job,” she answered, ruffling the boy’s hair before looking away from his glinting eyes and cheesy grin. Various groups of people mingled around her, and Aida moved her gaze across the room. Manager Arteta was talking to the club president while Claudia, the girl that was going to take her job along with being Arteta’s assistant was chatting excitedly with Naomi from PR. Everyone seemed to be in a better mood than she was, and Aida hated it. 
“Papa!” Pierre Jr. cried out happily and Aida followed his gaze. She spotted Pierre-Emerick, surrounded with some of the teammates and their significant others. 
“Do you want to go there?” Aida asked softly. Pierre Jr. nodded rapidly, and Aida craddled him before making her way through the well-dressed crowd.
**
Héctor Bellerín wasn’t exactly a man of few words, and everyone who knew him privately, knew that fact. The young Spaniard with an extraordinary London cockney accent loved to talk, appreciated a silly joke and banter, but also enjoyed discussing serious subjects and matters at any given opportunity. He was no stranger to a good book or a documentary, but also loved playing CoD with his teammates and just chill around his house. 
He considered himself polite, trying to treat everyone with respect, and most of the time he kept his cool - except that one time with Richarlison, but the lad deserved it. Yet, despite it all, the behavior of the girl behind the reception desk, for some reason, annoyed the shit out of him.
Héctor found her behavior tiring and utterly insincere. Ever since she started working, she would greet him with that smile that couldn’t have been a real one, asking him about the weather - day in and day out. It tired him to the point that he just decided to ignore her. 
On the other hand, he didn’t think that there was something wrong with her - moreover, he did agree with some of his teammates the first week she started working that she was actually pretty, but after another few weeks, her “eager beaver” behavior became a huge turn off. To Héctor, she seemed to be a type of girl that had no rest nor knew how and when to keep it down, and in his head, he used to paint this picture of her where she is making cupcakes every day, talking to fluffy animals and farting rainbows.
So, when she approached their group at the party, wearing a teal-coloured dress that wasn’t really a proper fit for her height or body type, carrying Aubameyang’s son in her arms, he waited for that bubble of overbearing happiness to burst in front of them. 
But it never did.
Instead, she greeted everyone with a short “hello” before reaching the little boy back to his father. “I apologise for interrupting your fun, but the best dressed man in this room wanted to go back to his daddy.”
“Excuse me—” Calum started, clearing his throat loudly as he smoothed down his tie. “What about us? We look decent as well, no?” 
His hand went towards Héctor’s shoulder, brushing the invisible dust from Héctor’s suit. 
Héctor swatted his hand away. 
“You look good too,” she replied, followed by a brief silence as Héctor took a sip of water, stopping himself from rolling his eyes. 
Wasn’t she a walking chatterbox? 
Has she already asked about Calum’s mother's wellbeing?
“Only good?” Alexandre pressed, but she sighed in defeat. 
“Well, I hope you enjoy your evening…” she trailed off, breaking the banter that his teammates started. “I have to go back to—” she bit her lip, looking behind her shoulder, “—I have some stuff to do.”
Only a few seconds later, Héctor watched her walk away through the crowd of men dressed in black suits and red ties. 
Part II
57 notes · View notes
nautiscarader · 3 years
Note
Gangbang - Zahra takes a simulation with five plixel Hectors (from episode 9 of S2)
(Ao3)
================
With somewhat trembling hands, Zahra Rashid opened the door to the large and empty simulation room in the Hinobi HQ. On one hand, she knew she had full permission to enter here now, as a senior employee.
On the other, though, she also knew what she wanted to do here...
Only a few blinking lights illuminated the room, giving it an eerie vibe, like most Hinobi control rooms. Zahra turned on the main system, and with beating heart she waited.
And she let out a satisfying sigh when she did not hear annoying voice of the helper she could now completely turn off. Zahra stepped back, made sure to lock the door and once she stepped onto the simulation deck, she ran the plixelisation program.
For the past weeks, ever since Nix has showed her how powerful plixelisation can be, she trained hard to master that skill tree. And while crafting weapons out of nowhere was fun, her motives would not exactly run along the company's policies...
Even though she knew very well what, or rather whom will she see in a moment, she couldn't help but feel giddy and ecstatic. Slowly, a crystalline, life-like figure of Hector Nieves appeared in front of her, greeting her with a simple wave of hand.
At once, Zahra got on her tippytoes and clapped her hands in response. But her smile turned positively euphoric when the engine continued rendering and four more Hectors appeared on the stage.
But now it was time for her program... she plugged the stick and ran it, her hands shaking slightly. The virtual window opened up, welcoming her with a few rudimentary settings - she was never good with UI elements, but those can be easily fixed later. Zahra set the mode to level 3 - "gallant" - and waited for Hectors to approach her and start treating her according to her desires.
Five men surrounded her, each giving her welcoming, gentle looks, to which Zahra replied with a nod and a warming smile, and only then the five Fives proceeded.
Their firm, but delicate fingers touched her, and she let out a gasp, as shivers ran down her spine, in expectations of the things to come. Hector in front undid her chest piece, while the two helped her lift her arms to remove it. The other two took care of her utility belt and the dress-like lower armour.
Zahra let out another girly giggle when two Hectors took a knee in front of her, and took her kneepads, while two more did the same with her gloves, gently sliding them from her hands. It was then when her skin was covered with goosebumps, as her palms received two simultaneous, gentlemanly kisses.
Zahra shivered when one Hector faced her and brought his hands to the hem of her underarmour. Without even thinking, Zahra lifted her arms in gesture of defeat and submission, and in a single move, she was disrobed, standing now in her multicoloured bra.
Then came the problem of her leggings, but to combat that, two Hectors joined their hands and effortlessly lifted Zahra as if he was a queen sitting on a throne, just so a third one could take her boots and leggings off, revealing her smooth, long legs.
She spun around, giving her five admirers the sight of her underwear, a matching set from last SuckerBox lootcrate, depicting Slide the Ferret and his companions. She knew Hector would love them...
But as much as she would like for him - or rather them - to admire her taste in geek clothing, Zahra preferred if her lovers took interest in what they were hiding from plain view.
She let out a soft murmur when she felt one of Hectors fumbling with her bra. Of course, they normally wouldn't have a problem with them, so she added a randomised timer, to simulate a real boy's struggles... Six seconds have passed before her breasts were freed, and she felt four hungry stares ogling them.
But that wasn't enough for her, and soon she was properly moaning when two Hectors joined forces to caress her nipples, circling them with their lips and fingers, utilising a fair more unpredictable algorithms to trace all sort of shapes, whose randomness drove Zahra wild.
She threw her head back, and at the same time her whole body was tilted, once more by two Hectors, who still had one piece of her clothing on her lower body to remove. Fifth Hector dragged his hand over her belly, making Zahra lift her head and stare into his eyes, as he dragged her panties down.
Zahra spread her legs, giving her lover enough space, and when she felt the material around her ankles, she knew they have done it. The Hector that disrobed her ventured between her thighs and gently kisses her underbelly, sending a wave of pleasure across her body in a taste of what was to come.
But still, there was one last piece of attire, the one covering her hair. And only she could undo it. As she slowly undid her hijab, she watched as her lovers became seduced by her long, raven-black hair that flowed freely.
She took a good, long look at her five admirers, and gathering all the strength not not fumble her line, she asked them a line she always wanted to say.
- Wanna play some multi?
In one second, the layers of clothing covering Hectors were disabled, and Zahra lost air in her lungs at the sight of five naked bodies of her crush, all surrounding her.
She gasped as five skinny, but muscular young men gathered around her, proudly showing how excited they were at the prospect of being with her. Her eyes moved from one crotch to the other, as if expecting to find some differences - she must remember to add tiny variations next time...
She was once more brought into the air, and one by one, each part of her body was subjected to Hectors' delicate lips. Her legs, ass, breasts... and finally her lips, when Hector Nieves kissed her, making her close her eyes and let the bliss she has dreamed about consume her. For a while, she wondered in how much trouble would she be if she passed out and was found here by her boss...
But she was brought back to reality - or rather a half-simulated one, at least - when one brave Hector ventured between her legs and took a long lick across her folds, letting her juices drip onto the floor. Another one joined him, concentrating on her clit. Ten fingers and two tongues worked their way around her sex, overflowing with her lust, while her back arched every few seconds in response to new wave of pleasure that rocked her body.
Meanwhile, the two other Hectors covered her breasts with kisses with meticulous precision - and she made sure of it, as their tongues followed a space-filling fractal curve to ensure every point of her mounds would be caressed.
Her hands weren't idle, though. As her kiss and caresses continued, she ventured down the chest of her lovers, until her fingers coiled around their cocks, and she shivered, feeling his texture and rigidity in her palm, as she pumped them.
At this point, hovering her clearly became too awkward for a love-making position, and Zahra had to postpone taking care of her lover to push a few buttons and plixelise a more practical solution.
A bed was rendered, though even from her distance, she could count the individual pixels on the low-res texture, as opposed to crisp rendering of Hectors. But it didn't matter, after all the bed, an asset borrowed from another game, was the least important part...
She hopped on it, and at once was welcomed in the cradle formed by two of her lovers, in a way so that their cocks would fit right in her holes. And with satisfying giggle, Zahra lowered herself, feeling as two crystaline, fake dicks slide in her ass and pussy at the same time. And the fact that she was facing Hector made her forget that the entire thing was an illusion, especially when he kissed her again...
Two pairs of hands closed around her waist, and the three began rocking back and forth like a well-oiled engine, generating moan after moan from her with each alternating dive. Zahra stretched her hands to caress her other lovers' cocks, fondling their testicles, and listening to their groans.
But there was a fifth Hector, and he soon reminded her of himself, where her kiss was interrupted. She felt his hand on her cheeks and gently turned her head left, only to be met with a well-modelled head of his cock, inches from her lips.
Zahra did not wait, and claimed him as his, throwing away any pretence and any shame she might still have. She wished the simulation could produce taste and smell... she was sure she would be light-headed now, with his masculine musk filling her mouth and nostrils. Sadly, she only got the texture and warmth that still gave her some impression of him. After all, she smelt his cologne just this morning...
But Zahra was eager to try something new this time. Though she revelled in listening to their moans, and would love to stay between them, she had to interrupt them, just so she can command them.
- Okay, I-I want both of you here and here!
And she reached her hand to open one extra window and unticked a few checkboxes.
Her lips curled into a wide smile when she saw that it has worked. One of the Hectors from the side reached for the place where the front one was sitting... and effortlessly passed through him, as if he was a ghost. Same happened to the one behind her. But when she reached between their legs...
Zahra giggled. She still could feel their lengths, proving she disabled correct collision layers. But of course that was just half of the challenge, arguably the easier one. She swallowed loudly, and let her lovers push forward.
At first, she thought she would feel pain, but the knowledge of what, or rather who was stretching her walls turned it into a bliss, one she couldn't have quite imagined. She threw her head back, getting caught by the fifth Hector and given another taste, for lack of better word, of his cock, and the five resumed their play by filling her with five cocks at the same time.
With each inch deeper, her climax was coming stronger and stronger, and when Zahra came, she welcomed four mouths kissing her and soothing her shaking and thrashing body, together with eight arms sliding across her entire skin...
But there was, of course one last thing to do. A feature borrowed from every sex simulator ever, the orgasm-meter has been blinking for some time, highlighting the "Cum" button.
And without a moment to spare, Zahra slammed it.
Her eyes bulged when fake liquid entered her mouth and warmed her insides with each pulse that flooded her. Pulse after pulse, five Hectors supplied her with their fake potent seed, emptying themselves in her ass, mouth and into her womb...
She tried swallowing some of it, but soon realised that it was a bit much, even for her... She quickly dismantled her lovers, and on shaky legs fell to the floor, but that didn't stop them, giving her occasion to see the fluid rendered in action.
At this point, she realised she must have added another 0 to the amount of cum in the while loop, but truth to be told, she did not care, and it was too late to fix that.
Streams of warm, gooey fake cum covered her legs, breasts face and of course her hair, adding to the seed that already have poured out of her pussy, ass and mouth. Zahra was sure she climaxed again just when that happened, adding to the craze and depravity she put herself through.
Basking in the simulated warmth and stickiness, Zahra flicked what would be layers of seed from her eyes and looked up, at five of her crushes. Adding to the visual obstruction, her mind was still hazed by the pleasure, but she slowly recovered, and grinned at the six figures towering over her...
At that moment, she knew she was in trouble.
Because one of the figures wasn't as tall as others, and wore a much different expression than them. A mixture of surprise, admiration, slight disgust and oddly enough triumph, all painted on Miko Kubota's face.
- M-Miko?! - Zahra spoke, trying to close her arms and legs, as if that was the most offensive part of her new visage. - Well, well, well... - a sly smile appeared on her face - Guess the cat is out of the lootbox, you really DO have a crush on High Five!
Zahra could taste the sarcasm dripping off her voice.
- Lucky for you... you're not the only one. - she said and approached the console - So let's see who's a bigger fan of our boy Hector here?
Zahra was about to protest, but Miko's fingers touched the buttons. At once, five more naked Hectors appeared, and as Zahra looked at Miko again, she watched her playing with tenderness setting.
The notoriously glitch-happy girl punched the down arrow three times. From 3 to 2, to 1, to 0...
Zahra let out a gasp, choking on fake cum still in her throat. She knew what was going to happen next. She planned 10 to be the maximum, but that limit was only hers...
With another press of an arrow, the counter rolled back... to 255.
At the same time, all ten limp cocks sprung back to life, and something told Zahra they will stay that for a long time.
She supposed she should be happy it wasn't 16 777 215.
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kingreywrites · 3 years
Text
Fearless
Fandom: Tangled
Word Count: 1792
Lance Strongbow Appreciation Week Day Two: Fears
Summary: Cassandra doesn't understand why Lance is so easily scared of the tiniest things. Lance doesn't believe Cassandra when she says she's fearless.
Note: this is my very first fic without Eugene or Rapunzel and it feels weird asfgdsdsg I just thought the parallels between Lance and Cass were interesting :’)
Read on ao3
Lance had always been a scaredy cat. He had been mocked for it a lot in his life but, honestly, he wasn't really ashamed of it. The world was full of things that could and would kill you if you didn’t pay attention, and Lance didn't want to mess with any of them. If that meant he overreacted from times to times, then so be it - he'd rather be ridiculous than dead. 
Cassandra was the one person who had the most trouble understanding that. She was kinda the one person who had the most trouble understanding him in general, at least within their group of friends, but she was never as annoyed with him as when he was screaming for something she thought was inconsequential. 
"Don't squish it!" she yelled from across the castle's hallway, putting the laundry she was carrying down to quickly get the spider currently terrorising Lance out of the way. 
"Please, please take it away," Lance squeaked, not able to contain another scream when the creature inched closer again. "Cass!" 
"Stop screaming I'm on it," she grumbled, gently opening her hands for the spider. 
It took a few seconds, but it finally climbed on them, and Cassandra didn't lose any time opening a window and putting it down to safety. Lance was still vaguely moaning at the sight, and only allowed himself to take a breath when the window was closed again. Spiders, he thought with a shiver. 
"I could have handled it," he announced proudly, before her glare chilled him to his bones. "Or maybe- maybe not. Thank you Cass," he grinned awkwardly. Was his voice high-pitched? It sounded high-pitched. 
She exhaled loudly, still annoyed. "You know, you can't expect people to always be there for you each time you're face to face with a spider. What would you have done if I hadn't been there?" 
"Squish it?" A beat. "... Not squish it?" Another, longer beat. "What do you want from me Cassandra-" 
"Forget it," she sighed, straightening her handmaiden's dress. "You'll have to grow out of this soon enough." 
This time, it was his turn to frown. "Everyone has fears, Cassandra. Even adults, and it's nothing to be ashamed of." 
She threw him a doubtful glance. "I don't." 
"Sure you do. Everyone does." 
There was something in her eyes that he couldn't name. A shadow, that disappeared as soon as he got a glimpse of it. "Nah," she laughed, "I'm fearless."
He hadn't known what to make of that back then. Of course, he knew Cassandra was not as easily scared as he could be, but she… He was pretty sure everyone had fears. And he also knew how easily hiding these fears away could lead to reinforcing them, because they were allowed to grow little by little, until you couldn't stop them from rearing their ugly heads.
When Cassandra blew up at Rapunzel in the Great Tree, Lance thought this was it. The stress and the fears she had been keeping at bay until now were crashing down on her, and he could clearly see that she was as angry about Adira's plan as she was plainly scared - though of what, he wasn't exactly sure. It was fear for their lives, sure, but- something more was at stakes, and he had no idea what was going on in her head.
He cringed when Rapunzel shut her down harshly.
And then, he didn't have the time to think about it anymore - everything was going too fast, the Hector guy came back to attack them, then he came back again but this time… possessed? By the tree? And Lance would have freaked out about that if five minutes later he wasn't hanging upside-down with vines squeezing the life out of him, and- and Eugene was screaming. He seemed in way more pain than everyone else, as if whatever evil spirit was at work here knew it would get a raise out of Rapunzel. Lance had no idea what was happening, or why Rapunzel suddenly started to recite an incantation that seemed to make her deadly, but all he knew is that when they both fell, Eugene was in so much pain he lost consciousness.
And he was terrified, because two of his best friends were in danger, and he'd take a room full of his worst fears if that one - the one where he lost everyone he cared about again, the one where he was helpless to save anyone - didn't come true.
Everything ended well, somehow. Eugene was banged up, but alive; Rapunzel seemed to have been able to overcome the weird spell she had been using, and Cassandra was sullen, but alright too, and had apparently found the time to get a brand new outfit during this mess.
It was all that mattered, right?
But, once everything seemed settled, and they stopped again for the night, Lance couldn't get Cassandra's reaction out of his mind. He had never seen her as frazzled, as… scared, as she seemed to be back there. And as much as he liked to play his own fears for laughs, he knew how easy it was to lose yourself to them, to the paranoia and uncertainty that being terrified brought. He wanted to talk to her, but he didn't know how she would take his advice - despite the time spent together on the road, Lance felt like he still didn't know her that well.
When he saw her sneak away unnoticed while they were setting campement, he hesitated for a few minutes, before deciding to follow her. She had barely talked since they got out of the tree, hadn't even insulted Eugene once, and he could see that things were still tense between Rapunzel and her and he… He wanted to check on her.
"Cassandra?" he called when he was pretty sure he was about to see her - she hadn't hidden her traces, and he wanted to warn her that it was him, to avoid any sword related incident. She was always quick to take out intruders, their first meeting was certainly a testimony of it. "Hey, Cass-"
She was sitting down between trees, some parts of her armour discarded around her and her arm-
"What do you want," she bit out, not even looking at him as she tried to apply a bandage with her left hand. It was shaking.
"What- Jesus Cass what happened?" he breathed out, coming closer even though the sight of her burnt skin made him queasy. "Are you okay? Do you- Did you clean that? Wait, is it-"
"If you're here to ask questions then you should go," she laughed bitterly, before cursing when the bandages escaped her grip.
"Let me-"
"Go!" she yelled, finally turning towards him. Her eyes were wild and angry, and on any other occasion, she would have scared him away but… But this was different. So completely different. "I don't- I don't need your pity."
"I... alright, alright," he said, making his voice as calm and soothing as he could. He wanted to push, to understand how he could have missed this, but he could see that she wouldn't appreciate that. "I won't ask any question, alright? Just… Just let me help you bandage that?"
She stayed silent a few seconds, scanning his expression for… earnestness, he supposed. Then she nodded, and he took the last steps separating them, sitting down and picking up the gauze and roll of bandages from her.
From up close, the burn was even more horrifying. The blistered and blackened skin made his gut roll uneasily, and it took a lot out of him to keep his expression as neutral as he could, to be sure that Cassandra would let him help her. A life on the street had taught him a lot about taking care of wounds -you would not believe how accident prone Eugene had been at first- but he had never been faced with one as serious as that one.
Breathing in shakily, he applied the gauze lightly where it was possible, and started to wrap the bandages around it. Even with his two hands, it was a difficult job - he couldn't help but wonder what result Cassandra would have obtained by herself. He couldn't help but wonder if she would have hidden that away too, under her new suit of armour, and if he would have stayed clueless to it.
Her fingers were the hardest part. Lance acted as if he couldn't hear Cassandra's sharp intakes of breath, as if he couldn't see the lines of pain around her eyes as she tried to stay stoic.
"Cassandra… Are you okay?" he asked quietly once he was done.
She met his eyes, but her gaze seemed far away. "You said no question," she sighed, gathering the rest of her armour and standing up in one swift movement. She was already hiding her arm under it, and Lance felt like there was a weight lodged in his throat, making it even harder for him to try and find the words to talk to her.
She… She didn't need to answer. He could see she wasn't okay.
"What- You're not gonna train right now?" he said when she drew her sword out, testing its weight with her left arm.
"I need to be able to use a sword Lance."
"You-- What you need is rest, Cassandra!"
"Don't," she snapped, swirling around to point her weapon at him. "Don't tell me what to do."
Her sword was trembling. He didn't know if it was because she wasn't used to handling it with this hand, or if she was trembling herself.
"Cass-"
"What I need is to retrain my arm as fast as possible. What I need is to be able to fight if trouble finds us again, and I know it will. What I need is to be able to protect you, to protect everyone, because that's why I'm here in the first place, and I won't fail again," she growled through clenched teeth.
That was when he understood this fear that he hadn't been able to name until now. There, while Cassandra did her best to appear threatening, he saw that she was not, and had never been fearless. Because it was there that he truly looked at Cassandra, and saw a young woman desperate to prove herself and who, again and again, had been being denied the chance more and more violently. She turned her back on him, trying to end the discussion, and what he saw was someone... small. Terrified. More than he ever had been. 
And though he always thought he was a fearful person, it seemed that it was nothing compared to what Cassandra was hiding under her suit of armour.
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claybefree · 3 years
Text
A Letter to Josh Poteat
To be honest, I don’t know why I’m writing you this. It should have been the art I made for my ex-wife Mary in 1995, that she gave back to me in 2008 after I left her, that I later put in the trash. The art you told me recently got you working with shellac. It should be that I’m giving you, instead of this depressing thing about how I haven’t spoken with the oldest of my children in almost nine months, and the younger not since two Christmases ago. 
I guess because when we talked about it before, I can’t remember exactly, maybe you asked in passing, “How’s the kids?” and I didn’t have an answer at the time. Maybe because I think you’ll understand me, like you always did. I haven’t been sleeping again lately, and this is when my mind wanders to the man I read about who died, trapped in a cave, but I don’t want to tell you about him. It’s too awful. If I find my mind lingering on him, I get seized by a whole body panic and I have to get up.
When I first got sober and couldn’t sleep, I went to war nightly with God. My mind was a scorched battlefield, blackened, shelled earth churned from trenches to craters. These days it resembles Zone Rogue in France, given back to nature and forbidden, saturated with ordnance, hundred year old arsenic lingering in craters. The toxic woods, wild and hoary, haunted now by deer and wild boar, trenches filled in with vines.
There is this vision I carry, not quite of myself- An old man alone in a mouldering trailer in the woods, bitter, childless and insane. No doubt, you have known such men. When I first got sober, he figured heavily in my mind- I considered this an alcoholic death even if I managed to stay clean. 
It’s cold mornings like these- when I’m up early to feed the yowling cats, but again not quite early enough to manage to write, I wonder if perhaps he’s already arrived. I get on my worn out coat hanging by the leaky back door I haven’t fixed yet and head out into the frozen mud to free the chickens from their coop. The cracked tile floating underfoot like a shit-covered mosaic, and I remember to grab the screwdriver. I’m not using it to kill anyone, it’s to prize the eight little half-domes of ice from cups of their watering bucket. You know how this works. I always figured that, being a country-boy, you grew up with the same tales of horrors perpetrated against these birds, or else, like me, witnessed them firsthand. 
Summer gets up and I finish my coffee with her as she tapes up my sprained hand. I try to get out the door before her kids wake. To facilitate quiet conversations that have a better chance of happening if I’m not around.
Pointing the truck toward Southside, it’s crossing the Powhite bridge where it really starts to bother me. Likely because it’s this point on the other side of the bridge, I’m only a mile away from their house. I ignore the river, bloated and steel grey,  I’m looking for the nameless creek that empties into it there. I’m sure you know it, completely fabricated, it passes under Forest Hill and the train tracks. It’s cold outside the cab of my truck, but I’m not fooled by the last groan of winter. Studying the woods alongside the road, accessible as they aren’t yet burdened but the weight of all that green, I’m not sure what I'm looking for. Lost children perhaps. The sandy stretch where it emerges from snaking around behind the toll station is lined there with birches, flaking and slender, and shouldered with granite as it runs fast from a glut of late March thaw.
I’ve been going this way for a little over a month, filling a friend’s garage with sawdust from fabricating casework for bookshelves, paying particular attention to whatever happens to be going on with the creek as it seems to determine the flavor of grief for that week. Throughout the winter It’s been ever present, with me to the point I feel like there's something wrong, like a vitamin supplement I'm not taking. 
Even though it’s been a string of bad days, the garage is warm enough, and I’ve been doing this work long enough I can rip down material on the table saw letting sadness wash over me without worry of losing a finger. I pay special attention to the music I listen to, so that I don’t have to take time and fall apart. At the end of the day I’ll sweep the dust-pile under the saw into a bucket for the chickens. There’s a ruined tire from the Harley I keep filled for them to bathe in. Which reminds me I haven’t told you about Greg the Bastard.
 When Summer brought them home a year ago as chicks, they were unsexed, and as they grew, we inadvertently wound up with two roosters. Even though Greg is much bigger, he’s still number two and it’s made him skittish and unpredictable. Fierce Greg the Magnificent, Hen Raping Greg. He charges the dog as well as the kids now, and he’s even started to buck up on me. He stalks the yard like boys and men you and I have both known all our lives- insecure, large and dangerous. He doesn’t scare me, I’m more afraid the day will come when I will have to kill this animal. 
In my twenties, Liz King, who you might know, got me a job after school let out with a woman I won’t name here. Another artist, she lived in an old farmhouse down Jeff Davis Highway and had been sexually assaulted by a man there. My job was to help powder and paint the place in order to put it on the market as she didn’t feel safe there anymore. We painted the whole inside. Flying the back roads in her pick-up to some Paint store way out Hull street, she told me how the man had befriended her dogs beforehand and how he threatened to kill her if she looked at him. I don’t remember asking her about it, just the image of her long legs in cut-off shorts clutching and shifting the small truck all over Southside. I made it most mornings, except after getting home late from a Rancid show in Hampton, I was too hungover and didn’t get to her place til well after noon. She was gone, but had worked the whole morning by herself. Later that day, when I called Liz to tell her how I fucked up, she fired me over the phone. 
I bring all this up because she owned a lone rooster named Ajax, who hated me. Specializing in ambush tactics, I wasn’t safe anywhere in the yard from Ajax. The lady usually escorted me in from the gate, but heading out to the shed was dangerous. I can still feel him on the backs of my bare legs. Once, while rolling the living room ceiling and overwhelmed by the fumes of oil based primer, I stepped out on the front porch to dry heave a minute and catch my breath. Ajax heard and came stalking around the corner. Incapacitated, I cussed him, but head lowered, he came for me, creeping up the steps one terrible talon at time. 
Later I made a six foot tall portrait of Ajax as best I could remember him. Crimson comb like a child’s depiction of fire out of control, waddles surrounding the beak blazing and reckless. The emerald of the sickle feathers a cyclone of green. Hock, shank and spur a series of harsh, black lines. Very Twombly-esque, it’s still hanging in my dad’s office. Based on this one hangover, I went on to make work for the next ten years depicting the Battle of Troy as a series of cock-fights. Achilles the Terrible dragging Man-killing Hector through the streets of Troy. That sort of thing. The drawing I made Mary came from that run. 
I go home by way of the Huguenot bridge, because the Nickel bridge takes me directly in front of the house where my children live, which no matter how I’m doing, always threatens to cave my head in. If I go that way, I always think about stopping, and kneeling outside in the cold, perfect grass, with the thought if I wait long enough they might come out to see me.
I know it’s merely grief, the same garden variety of depression, that Chris Cornell said in an interview once was no less dangerous and could just as easily land a man on the end of a rope. 
But that is not my way. I’ll drive home to Summer and her kids, help with dinner, watch TV and bed by ten thirty. Regardless. And if I find myself lying awake and the void comes, I won’t scream into it like the old days, I’ll sing to it. I don’t know why, maybe it’s a lament. Maybe I think my children will walk out of the darkness and into my arms.   
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reddogcollar · 3 years
Text
Gretchen
And a distinct, helpless feeling.
First/Prev/Next
Gretchen rode into Brackenholme, a couple days ahead of schedule. She'd managed to free herself of her duties in Hedgemoor early, and decided to travel ahead of the real heat.
In a half circle behind her, were the Harriers. A fraction of them, at least.
Most of the Harriers who'd fought for her during the war had returned to the lives they'd had before, farmers and blacksmiths, and the like. Nearly none of them wanted to pursue the life of a soldier after being thrust into it.
The name stuck, though.
Of those few who'd remained, Trent was among them. He'd insisted on coming along to Brackenholme.
They both knew he'd be better spent in Hedgemoor, and that he'd be expected to stay. And traveling with him, even with companions, felt daunting, after everything.
Though, it'd be cruel of her to deny him the chance to see his brother after so long, and downright insulting to insinuate he wouldn't be able to make the trip because of his condition.
Despite said condition, he'd seemed to fair well.
Everyone pretended not to notice his obvious discomfort, getting off his horse as they arrived in Brackenholme. She paid special attention to her cane, needlessly inspecting it of any damage that may have happened on the ride.
If was well made, and entirely too sturdy to sustain any notable damage. She scrutinized it thoroughly though, until Trent came up beside her.
It was probably hard on his knees, if she had to guess, which he'd commented on before.
The war and everything Lucas and his Wyldwolves, may they all rot, did to him had put tremendous strain on his joints. It frustrated her to no end that everything that could be done for him already had been.
His health was as good as it was going to get.
Putting the matter aside, as there truly wasn't anything she could do, especially now, she handed off her horse to one of the Harriers and walked to one of the lifts, as quickly as she could without dropping her cane and breaking into a run.
Trent followed, not bothering to try and squash down his obvious excitement. It was clear to anyone who looked at him he was there for a visit, and barely considered himself to be on duty.
She stepped into one of the Great Oaks lifts, Trent just a step behind her, and ran her hand through her hair as it lurched upwards. She knew there was no reason to, but she felt apprehensive.
As if the letters she'd received had been false, and there were strangers waiting at the top to tell her her loved ones were already dead.
After everything, it was hard to believe they'd survived.
She sighed, gripping her hair in a fist and putting most of her weight on her cane, and got a reassuring look from Trent. Before he could say anything, the lift came to a stop and she had to straighten and smooth out her hair before stepping out.
Forcing herself to keep to a brisk walk, she went through the halls with Trent beside her, just a half step behind, nodding at those she passed until she entered the main hall, where all the apprehension dissipated instantly.
There was Drew, looking troubled and staring out a window. Farther back in the room, Bergan stood talking with an advisor about something she could not hear.
Lady Rainer was elsewhere.
They came up behind Drew and Gretchen tapped him on the shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and causing him to flinch and turn around.
A grin split his face the second he laid eyes on them.
"Gretchen, Trent!" He briefly hugged each of them in turn, "You're here ahead of schedule, aren't you?"
"After freeing myself up, I could think of no reason to delay." She smiled, "Staying in Brackenholme has always been quite relaxing. How've you been?"
"Troubled, truth be told." He said, dropping his smile and glancing out the window, as if he were about to be lost in thought again, before waving it away, "But lets not worry about such things for now, its great to see you two. How've you been?"
She nodded, respecting his privacy no matter how she'd like to pry. It troubled her to think a friend of hers was suffering and there was, yet again, nothing she could do.
"I'm glad to see you too. I've honestly been feeling better than I have since before everything. Things are finally starting to feel solid again."
It was Drew's turn to nod. He was no stranger to the instability of war, either.
"And you, Trent?" He asked, turning to his brother, "How's Hedgemoor treating you?"
The brothers talked, briefly comparing their living arrangements to what they'd had on the Cold Coast before growing solemn and changing the subject, while she noticed Bergan coming over.
Not wanting Drew and Trent to be interrupted, they'd had very little time to talk face to face, even after the war, she met him halfway.
"Gretchen, my dear!" He pulled her into a bear hug, aptly enough, "Tell me, how've you and Hedgemoor faired since your last letter?"
"Thing's seem to be getting better by the day, Uncle. After Krupha's occupation in Hedgemoor, I feared none of the people would truly be able to rest until they'd all been replaced by a new generation. As for me, I've no troubles that I could burden you with." She smiled at him.
Of course, she had troubles, but that didn't mean she had the need to burden anyone with them but herself.
He nodded, leaving one of his hands on her shoulder.
"I'm glad to know you're finally coming to peace, as well as your city. What of Redmire?" He asked, as most developments had been so recent she hadn't had time to write of them.
"Redmire is being governed by a cousin of Count Fripp's, Brenn rest his soul, now that the bulk of his work in Bray is taken care of. Everyone who'd been displaced has returned, and you can barely tell what happened there. I only need to take care of one city now."
It'd felt like her duty, Hector being her cousin and the only remaining boar. He probably wouldn't want to be a Baron even if he could, anyways.
"Though, of course, that's also not a permanent arrangement. Its merely a favor on behalf of his departed cousin. Between the two of us, though, we'll have to find a suitable replacement before the stress of running two cities becomes too much for him as well." She explained, even now feeling guilty for putting what should be her duty onto an old man.
More so, it pained her that it was her duty in the first place, and not her cousin's to take care of. While being a Baron may not be his ideal, it'd mean he wasn't imprisoned, at least.
"No more of this political talk, though," She rushed on, quickly changing the subject, "How are you, Uncle?"
"I'm afraid how I am would be deeply intertwined with political talk, no matter what," He chuckled, "But I suppose I'm as fine as I can be. Busy, with this new celebration, that may well become annual, but its good to have a change of pace every now and again, eh?"
"And how goes all this preparation?"
"As smoothly as it could. Though I suppose that's helped by there being no strict guideline as to how things should go yet." His smile was barely visible through his beard.
She wasn't sure he'd ever been without it.
"If there's anything I could assist with, you know I will." She offered, then after his thanks, excused herself and left the Great Oak entirely.
She understood the concept behind celebrating their victory, and how it may boost the citizens morale, but she couldn't separate the concept from pointless slaughter.
Everyday that passed brought them nearer to when the war was won, and it made her feel ill. The reason she'd come to Brackenholme wasn't to celebrate, but to surround herself with as many people as possible, fearing what come when she was alone.
The Cats of Bast left an undeniable mark on all in Lyssia, not least on her.
She walked to clear her head, having no designation in mind, simply focusing on the rhythm of her footsteps and cane on cobble paths.
The celebration would mean remembering Whitley's death, sacrificing herself to save Trent, Cape Gala, and Lucas, in all his wretchedness.
To think she'd once looked forward to being married to him...
She walked that bit faster, focusing on the rhythm and nothing else until she found herself at the Garrison Tree.
Looking for anything to break her from her reverie, she went up to see Hector. It'd be nice to finally speak with him, with such scant replies he'd had to any letters she'd sent.
She was stopped dead by the guard stationed outside his room, though.
"I apologize, my lady, but I'm under orders to not let anyone see the Boarlord. He's been classified a danger to himself and others." He explained, tipping his head in a sign of respect.
She glared, finding that to be the most absurd thing she'd ever heard. What was more absurd, was that the orders would have had to have come from Drew.
"If he's a danger to himself, does locking him up alone really make sense?" She argued, crossing her arms and refusing to go back down.
"It does if he's a danger to others."
"Have you SEEN that boy?! There's no way he's a danger!" She said, quickly losing her patience with the guard, though she knew he was just following his orders.
"Tell that to Queen Amelie!" The guard exclaimed, becoming invested in the argument. It became clear he held some sort of resentment toward Hector.
Gretchen rolled her eyes, scoffing.
"She practically fell on his knife, it hardly counts as an example!"
"He raised a city of the dead! Where your cousin died, might I add!" The guard waved one of his hands about, gesturing as he spoke and nearly knocking against the door he stood in front of.
"It was Lucas who killed Whitley, and you'd do well to remember that!" She practically shouted at him, standing up straighter and becoming red in the face with anger. She wouldn't have Lucas's misdeeds attributed to her cousin.
"Besides, Hector was possessed the entire time. He can't be blamed for Icegarden." She added, regaining her composure to the best of her ability.
"He tricked the White Bears out of their city and took it over with the Ugri!"
"Well he didn't kill anyone to do it! He's hardly dangerous, and especially not to me, of all people." She said, to no avail.
The guard wouldn't budge, which was a comfort to a small part of her. At least if no one was allowed in, he'd be safe in there.
But loneliness clearly didn't agree with him, and he hardly needed to be protected from her.
She argued with the guard until her legs grew sore, and she started leaning on her cane more noticeably.
The guard sighed, standing up straighter and putting on a passive look.
"You're not seeing him and that's final, my lady. Those are my orders and I will not go back on them. You'd do well to go enjoy the rest of your day, instead of spending it arguing with me."
She bit the inside of her cheek, glaring at the guard. It was clear he wouldn't be swayed by any amount of arguing, and she didn't fancy trying to bribe him.
Furious, she left the Garrison Tree in search of Drew.
She found him just as he was coming off one of Great Oak's lifts, catching him unawares and grabbing him by the wrist.
"We need to talk, Wolf."
He looked surprised, not only by her tone but what she'd called him. Though it was leagues above "mutt", she'd reserved titles such as that for strangers.
She pulled him aside, where people were less likely to be disturbed by the impending argument, before going off on him.
"What in the world could've gotten into you, Ferran, to not only let Hector be confined to a cell in the first place, but now for me to find you've ordered your soldiers not to let him be seen, calling him a danger that he hardly presents?!" She demanded, keeping her voice low.
If she were to shout at him, everyone outside would hear.
This only made his surprised look appear more dramatic, muddled by confusion and a small amount of offence.
"Gretchen, that order was made by Bergan, just a couple of days ago! There's nothing I can do about it, short of trying to convince him otherwise, which I've been trying to do whenever I get the chance." He explained, quick to redirect her anger.
"Why in Brenn's name would he do that?!" She huffed, twisting her cane and driving it into the dirt.
Drew hesitated, as if conflicted, before clasping his hands.
"It'd be best if Hector told you." He answered, refusing to answer in any useful way.
"Well I can't if I'm not allowed to see him."
He was quiet for a moment, looking at the Garrison tree, craning his head back to see the top.
"Well, I climbed the tree last night." He supplied, looking back at Gretchen.
She turned to look up at the Garrison tree, rubbing her thumb on the smooth wood of her cane.
She could go for periods of time without it, but it was never long before the pain became impossible to ignore. She'd done the injury no favors in Icegarden, and the strain had undone a good portion of the healing it'd gone through prior.
She didn't regret a thing.
"I don't think that'd work for me." She said finally, looking back at Drew. She may be able to walk a distance but she had no desire to test her limits climbing up and down a Great Oak.
"Yeah." He nodded, tapping the White Fist's pointer against its thumb.
The clicking was the only sound between them for a moment, before the White Fist crunched, Drew holding it in a fist with a smile on his face.
"I may be able to help you though, come." He walked off in the direction of the Garrison Tree, not waiting. He stopped at a bench alongside the cobble path, a short ways away from the Tree, and had her sit down and wait.
He went into the Garrison Tree, and she was to wait either for the guard or Drew to come out, depending on if he could be convincing.
A minute passed, then another, and another.
After the fifth, she saw the guard leaving the Garrison Tree, seeming pleased with himself.
She waited another ten minutes before no one was in sight, and got up, walking as if she had nowhere to be and was just enjoying a stroll, before darting into the Garrison Tree the moment she neared it.
Outside Hector's door stood Drew, standing guard.
She smiled, thankful for his help, and slipped into the cell.
Hector sat a table with a book in front of him, looking at her with an owlish expression, as if he hadn't expected her.
"Hello, cousin." She quickly closed the distance, briefly touching his shoulder in greeting instead of hugging him. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
"Gretchen! Hi!" He smiled awkwardly, slapping the book shut and pushing it away from him. "This is rather unexpected!"
"I apologize for that, but unexpected was the only way I'd get to see you, it seems." She sat down, and asked, "What happened with Bergan?"
He grew as stiff as the covers on his books, and looked uncomfortable.
"Nothing important, really." He said, obviously not wanting to talk about the subject.
"Hector, it absolutely is important! Why have I been barred from seeing you?" She asked, refusing to ignore what was happening. She couldn't do anything if she couldn't understand.
"You really needn't worry about me, I'm fine. I'll get by." He insisted, glancing around the room. After everything, it seemed he still had trouble with eye contact.
"Of course I need to worry about you! You're my cousin and now you're being isolated. What kind of family would I be if I did nothing?"
"You'd be much happier family if you simply didn't concern yourself with it! I've enough books to keep me entertained should I be isolated, it won't kill me." He insisted, wrapping his good arm around his chest in an imitation of crossing them.
"Books do not substitute for a conversation, and if you're smart you'd know isolation isn't good for you no matter how books you've got!" She said, thumping her cane against the floor for emphasis despite being seated.
"I want to help you, but I can't if I don't know the full extent of the problem." She said, losing her argumentative tone for a more concerned one.
Hector stayed quiet, looking solemn.
"I can't tell you." He said quietly, looking down at the table top.
"Do you not trust me?"
"Of course I do!" He quickly looked up, before appearing ashamed of himself. "I simply fear you wouldn't trust me."
They both flinched when they heard Drew knock on the door, softly three times.
That was her cue to leave, lest they run into someone on the way out and get caught.
She sighed, standing.
"I'll be back, cousin. And I expect to find out what happened. I'll help you no matter what." She put her hand on his shoulder again, lingering there while he gave his short goodbye.
With no excuse to stay and risk getting caught, she pulled herself away.
She spent the rest of the evening in Bergan's hall, puzzling out Hector's situation and what she could do. There had to be something, she refused to helplessly stand by.
It was there she finally bumped into Lady Rainer.
"Hello, Gretchen," She greeted her, smiling warmly, "I'm sorry I missed you when I arrived."
"It's no trouble." Gretchen waved it away, lost in thought and only half listening.
"Is something on your mind?" Rainer frowned. "You seem distracted."
She was quiet for a moment, considering whether or not Rainer would be able to help her. The Duchess had always been more reasonable than her husband, surely this matter was no different.
"You know what Bergan is doing to Hector, yes?"
Rainer's expression dropped, becoming saddened as she nodded.
"Aye."
"And it's a horrible thing to do, to isolate him!"
"It is." She nodded again, "I've talked to him about it, but he has the final say when it comes to serious crime. And he can be as stubborn as a goat."
"Hector is barely a criminal." Gretchen straightened, prepared to get into another argument.
"Gretchen," Lady Rainer started slowly, taking time to pick her words carefully, "I care for him too but he did seize Icegarden, nearly starve out your uncle, and kill the queen. These things shouldn't be overlooked."
"He was sick in the head! He shouldn't be vilified for being ill!" Gretchen argued, refusing to see her cousin mistreated.
"Of course he shouldn't. But it doesn't excuse the harm he caused. He can be helped without us disregarding his mistakes, which would do more hard than good." She said, still taking time to choose her words.
Years of debating with Bergan had forced her to hone the skill of convincing people she was right.
Gretchen deflated, becoming tired and sullen instead of angry.
"I have very little family left, and I cannot lose him, neither to death or Bergan disallowing me from speaking to him." She said, her voice coming out flat.
"I know. I haven't stopped trying to make him be more reasonable, and I don't intent to." Lady Rainer assured her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
It made her feel that much less helpless.
"Thank you."
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