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sundaysundaes · 3 years

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Love Bites

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader, ft. Mark Lee | Vampire AU, Roommates AU | Smut, Fluff, Humor, Romance

Summary: Supernatural creatures don’t scare you, so when the cute neighbor who lives just across the hallway offers you a chance to move in for cheaper rent, you agree in a heartbeat--even when he consumes human blood on a daily basis.

Warnings: Smut, vampire sex, sex in front of a mirror, blood sucking, unprotected sex, slight choking. For the sake of the plot, Y/N is slightly intoxicated in this fic (drunk sex). Please don’t read this fic if this makes you feel uncomfortable. I also don’t approve nor allow taking advantage of your romantic partner while they are under the influence of alcohol.

Supernatural things don’t really scare you. Growing up in a family that tells urban legends and mystical myths as bedtime stories makes you feel somewhat reserved toward spooky stuff, to the point that you won’t even bat an eyelash during a jump scare at literally any scary movie out there. It’s not like you’ve seen any supernatural creatures with your own eyes but you believe in their existence, especially when you live in a town where freaky things happen on daily basis.

You’re not sure about werewolves and zombies, but vampires do roam the earth the second the moon replaces the sun. It’s not merely a rumor anymore, it’s a fact. But they keep their presence in secret, trying to act as humanly as possible so they won’t gather unnecessary attention. And since no one has found any dead bodies with bite marks or severe blood loss, people don’t really identify them as a threat. You perceive things in a similar way. As long as they don’t bother you, then you can co-exist in peace. That’s what you believe.

So when you visit your neighbor in the middle of the night, the cute guy—probably still in his early twenties—who lives just across the hallway, you figure you’ll see him smiling back, maybe even offer you a cup of coffee out of courtesy. Now, you don’t usually barge into someone else’s apartment even when the front door is unlocked, but seeing how the two of you are already on a first-name basis, always greet each other with a nod whenever your eyes make eye contact, you think to yourself, “Yeah, he wouldn’t mind if I come in, would he? What’s the worst thing that could happen? He’s too cute to be a serial killer anyway.” Which, you realize soon enough, was a poor, terrible logic on your part.

But you turn over his doorknob with a click and invite yourself in.

So clearly, you do not expect to see him sitting bare-chested on the couch with his girlfriend’s legs hooked around his waist. Clearly, you do not expect to see his hand yanking at the roots of her hair, forcing her to expose the column of her neck and making her call his name in the most wanton moan you’ve ever heard in your life—even if you’ve had a fair share of watching porn movies (for research purposes). And you most clearly do not expect to see him sinking his canines deep into her skin, not caring when trails of blood start to taint her bare shoulder and groaning in bliss as he relishes the taste of her blood.

So naturally, the only thing you can think of is:

Oh shit.

“Wait!” A hand finds its way to tangle around your wrist when you slip behind his front door to run back to your own. His icy cold skin makes you flinch in surprise but you keep your face still. As you turn around to see the owner, you’re greeted by the sight of him with his eyes turning as dark as the night. His brunette hair is made of curls and waves, seems unbelievably soft and silky with bangs almost covering his eyes. His lips and cheeks are smeared with fresh blood, possibly from trying to wipe his mouth in hurry with the back of his hand. His fangs are no longer shown and although he seems breathless, you can tell he’s not breathing from how still his chest is moving (but you’re too distracted with the sight of how toned it is). His black jeans are hanging dangerously low on his hips, unbuttoned but not yet unzipped, and it’s harder for you to not stare at his v-lines compared to the amount of blood that painted his lips.

Trying to act nonchalant, you simply ask, “Yes?”

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh, so you’re not a vampire drinking blood from your girlfriend’s neck?”

He gapes, eyes growing wide, before, “Okay, then it is what it looks like.”

You retract your hand, giving him a formal nod. “Cool.”

“Cool?”

“Yeah, as in, no problem. You have a kink. I understand.”

“No, I mean—” He pinches the bridge of his nose, somewhat dizzy from your reaction. “Why are you so calm about this?”

You frown. “I’m confused. Would you rather have me freak-out and tell our landlord that you’ve been spilling maiden’s blood on his carpet?”

“Well, no, but—” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Also, I’m a professional. I don’t leave stains.”

“Congratulations, I’m impressed.” You clap your hands twice, face blank. “Well anyway, I guess I owe you an apology. I didn’t mean to sneak into your apartment without permission and disturb your…” You scratch your cheek, attempting to find the right word. “Late night snacking time—”

“Oh, God.” He rubs his palm over his face but before he can protest any further, his lover is calling him from the inside of his room.

“Lee Donghyuck, come back to me. I haven’t come yet.”

You stare flatly at him, trying not to look as judgmental as possible but most likely failing terribly at it. “She sounds nice.”

He mirrors the look on your face. “Yeah well, she tastes nice.”

“Ugh, too much info there, buddy.”

“No, I mean, her blood, not—” You’re not sure whether vampires can blush but this one surely seems like one. “Why did you even come here again?”

“Oh, that’s right.” You remember. ��This is totally cliche and I wish I could say a better excuse but I was making coffee and ran out of sugar. Do you have some I can borrow? And maybe some cream?”

“Seriously?” It’s supposed to be a sarcastic response, but when he sees you nodding your head, he adds, “Do I look like I drink coffee in my spare time?”

“You spend eternity without drinking coffee?” You gasp, laying a hand on your heart. “I feel sorry for you.”

“Leave. Please.”

***

On the next evening, you find yourself crossing the hallway and knocking on his apartment’s door again. Knowing how patience has never been one of your virtues, you try to turn his doorknob after your third knock. Like last night, it’s unlocked with a click so you invite yourself in, calling his name.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you here—”

“I really need to fix that stupid lock.”

The sound of his voice startles you when he suddenly walks into view, but not as much as the sight of him with a white towel hanging around his neck, his wet hair dripping water to his bare chest, and another towel wrapped around his waist.

He notices you’re staring so with a small smirk, he comments, “So you’re fine seeing me with human’s blood on my face but completely left in shocked when I’m half-naked?”

You put your best effort to act unfazed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do know us vampires can tell when you’re lying, right? We can hear your heartbeat.”

“And yet, you didn’t hear me coming into your apartment last night.”

“I was…” He narrows his eyes. “Distracted.”

“You mean you were too horny to notice.”

“You—” He exhaled loudly, perhaps a habit he invented to make him seem more human. “Why are you here again today?”

“Can’t I greet my neighbor?”

He snorts loudly but walks away, throwing himself on the couch. “Seriously, why aren’t you surprised about this?”

“About you being a vampire? Or about your God awful taste in women?”

“Yeah?” He mocks back, making a face. “As if your boyfriend Mark Lee is any better.” When he sees a blush blooming on your face, he snickers. “Enlighten me, Sweetheart. How does it feel to have a lover that only last for one minute during—”

“Okay, I’ll take my words back. Everything. Can we move on, please?” You try to yank yourself back to your normal state, even when you feel downright ashamed. “So, this vampire thing. How long have you been a vampire?”

“Long enough.”

“How old were you when you first turned?”

“Young enough.”

“How often do you drink human blood?“

“Often enough.”

You glare at him, earning a sly grin in return. “You’re not taking me seriously, are you?”

He sends you the best serious expression he can manage. “Serious enough.”

“Right, okay, I’m leaving. Have fun being an asshole for eternity.”

But the second you turn around in your heels, Donghyuck is already on the other side of the room, closing his front door and leaning his back against it. “Now, now, you come in as you please, uninvited. You don’t think I’ll let you go just like that, right?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you want?”

“I think it’s something that we both want.” He steps closer, voice sounding smooth and alluring. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

You gulp, suddenly becoming nervous. He’s an arms reach away, and then closer, and closer until you can feel his cold fingers tracing against your cheekbone, lifting your face so his eyes are locked with yours.

“I’m—” You can feel your breathing starts to stutter. “I’m not giving you my blood.”

“But it’s not blood that I want from you.” His eyes are half-lidded, his thumb tracing your lower lip. “I’ve been thinking about this so much lately.”

Your heart feels like a ticking bomb inside your chest. “A-about what?”

“About our rent. Do you want to move in together so we can split the rental fee?”

***

It’s both ridiculous and dumb, his offer to move in together for cheaper rent, so it’s even more ridiculous and dumb when you agree to it. There are several reasons that make sense, actually—at least, to you anyway: 1) your neighbor may be a vampire but he’s super hot and although that doesn’t make everything okay, it does make his offer sound incredibly tempting, 2) your landlord is going to raise the rent in the following two months, 3) your part-time job’s salary can only cover so much of your living cost and you have no savings whatsoever, 4) if you can ignore the fact that he brings random girls at night for midnight snacks, he becomes much, much hotter.

Of course, there are risks to think about as well. Sharing a place with another person can bring trouble, so you can only imagine how troublesome would it be to share your home with a vampire. What if he gets too thirsty and starts drinking from you instead?

You gulp. The thought of it is actually kind of… sexy.

Mark. You mentally slap yourself in the head. You have a boyfriend. Stop crushing on your damn neighbor.

Well, there is nothing serious going on with Mark actually. You guys were just lab partners in high school, went on a couple of dates, had a terribly awkward first kiss, had a heavy make-out session with him ejaculating under one minute when you dry-humped him on the couch of your living room.

So yeah, nothing serious.

“My apartment or yours?” You ask after a week has passed by, the second he opens his door for you. “Your apartment is bigger, but mine is cleaner.”

“Whatever you want, Sweetheart,” he smirks, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t mind as long we can split the fee.”

“Yeah, why is that? You’re running out of money?”

His smirk instantly falters. “Well, it’s not exactly easy for vampires to get a job these days.”

“You literally have superhuman skills.”

“Well, you guys have the technology!” He throws his hands in the air, absolutely disgusted with the word by the sight of it. “And the Internet! Sure, I can run pretty fast, I have super hearing, I can see in the dark but these fucking technologies can do literally everything I’m capable of—and everything I’m not capable of—with only a few clicks!”

“Do you need a hug?”

He’s still pouting but shrugs. “Can’t hurt.”

“There, there.” You give him a pat on his back as he leans down so you can reach his height. “I’ll teach you some basic stuff to get you updated.”

“Thanks.”

“You’ll get through this.” You pull away, squeezing his shoulders. “So, about moving in together. Shall we talk about house rules and stuff?”

“Sure, but before that,” he smiles, opening his door wider for you. “Come in. I don’t bite.”

It’s something about him using that poor choice of words with that teasing smirk on his face that makes your stomach feel uneasy but you nod and let yourself in. As he closes the door, he adds, “Unless it’s what you’re into.”

“Getting my blood drunk by a vampire?” You scoff, trying to steady your racing heart though he can probably tell already. “Why would it be something I’m into?”

“Well, my ladies surely enjoyed it,” he chuckles and you secretly think to yourself, yeah because you’re fucking hot, that’s why, but you keep yourself ignorant on the outside. “But if you’re ever curious,” he coos, eyes nearly glowing as he pushes his bangs back with one hand, “I’m down anytime you want.”

You shudder, but from disgust or excitement, you’re not sure. “Thanks, but no thanks. So, house rules?”

***

It turns out to be shockingly easy to share an apartment with an undead creature of the night. Your source of information regarding vampires are from the collection of your young adult supernatural novels, ranging from something serious like Interview with The Vampire, to something mediocre like The Vampire Diaries, and something absolutely ridiculous and downright outrageous like Twilight. So it’s not really surprising when your first assumption of vampires are dead people who look unusually pale but strikingly attractive, have constant frowns on their faces as they brood over literally everything that’s happening as if they’re constipated all the time (they’re not, since vampires don’t have that bodily function anymore) and kill people in their spare time by sucking their blood dry.

But Donghyuck isn’t like that at all, to the point you have to convince yourself that he’s a century-old vampire and not a brat going through puberty.

Because Donghyuck isn’t pale, his skin is tan as if he was kissed by the sun when he has been hiding from it his whole life. It’s smooth, unscarred, and almost golden under the fluorescent light of your apartment.

He’s not heartless either. He cried during watching Hachiko even when the dog owner was still alive and well, shouting, “Bad shit is going to happen. Bad shit is going to happen to the dog—look how cute that dog is—look just how fucking cute he is—he doesn’t deserve any pain—if this dog dies by the end of the movie, I will combust,” to the screen. So the thought of him killing someone by sucking their blood dry? Seems very unlikely.

And he’s not broody or angry all the time. He’s extremely playful and annoyingly mischievous. He keeps his stock of blood in empty bottles of red wine and places them inside the fridge with a handwritten note that says: “It’s really just wine, Sweetheart. I bought some as a housewarming gift. Come take a sip.” You did, once, out of curiosity, and from that day on you promised yourself that you’d never ever trust his words for as long as you live.

Being a monster, he should’ve been the cause of fear, but in reality, he gets scared from a lot of things—even the things that shouldn’t scare a baby. You will never forget the day when a loud crash came thundering from his room, two seconds before he came barging into yours, screaming with wide eyes, “THERE’S A COCKROACH FLYING IN MY ROOM!”

“And what did you do?”

“I THREW THE TV AT IT BUT THAT FUCKING THING STILL LIVES!”

“WHAT?! But that’s our TV!”

“IT WAS FLYING TO MY FACE AND I PANICKED—WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

Even a butterfly that sneaks in from the window makes him jump on his feet. It was cute the first two times it happened, but seeing how he keeps on throwing random things—your phone, included—to keep the bugs away, you probably should start adding another house rule.

Speaking about rules, they’re pretty basic. It’s settled that you’ll both do your cleaning separately. No borrowing things without permission, no spending too much time in the bathroom because although he doesn’t need to go to the toilet, Donghyuck enjoys drawing himself a warm bubble bath for hours, as he takes a sip of his ‘red wine’. And you’re fine with him bringing girls over to your place as long as he does his midnight snacking in his own room. You were against it before but then you figure that you’re going to have Mark in your room from time-to-time (your date night is cheaper this way) so you really don’t have the right to forbid him.

But man, if only you could take back your words.

Because when Donghyuck said his ladies surely enjoyed it when he drank from them, you didn’t think that they would enjoy it this much. And you didn’t think that drinking blood from a human equals having sex with them all night long.

The sound of “Aah, yes fuck me just like that,” and “Bite me again, Lee Donghyuck, I want you to bite me as hard as you fuck me,” can be heard coming endlessly from his bedroom whenever he brings a girl—sometimes even two, for God’s sake—over. You have to plug your AirPods into your ears, blast the volume to the maximum until you can literally feel your ears going deaf while pulling a pillow over your head. And even then you still can hear them. Your apartment has excellent sound-proofed walls so your neighbors don’t really hear the loud screeches they’re making, but for you who sleeps in the room just across the living room? A living hell.

Fortunately, it doesn’t happen every day. It doesn’t happen every week, even, since he always keeps some stocks of blood in the fridge.

“Did you take this blood from those girls?” You grimaced one night, as you opened your refrigerator to slide in your pudding leftover and noticed three huge bottles of red wine completely filled up to the brim.

He laughed, waving a hand. “Of course not, stupid. How could I even do that in the first place? I bought some blood bags from the hospital, obviously.” He was sitting on the couch before but when he delivered his next line, he suddenly stood behind you, lips hovering dangerously close to your ear. “And just in case you’re wondering,” you could feel his smirk grazing your earlobe. “I only drink directly when I want to have sex.”

The heat was spreading almost immediately to your cheeks so you hid it by throwing a punch to his stomach, which he easily dodged. “Still,” you complained, “There’s blood in my fridge.”

“Hey, I never complain when you keep your celery juice in there.” He scrunched his nose in disgust. “I don’t eat or drink human foods, but who the fuck drinks celery juice?”

***

Donghyuck is also exceptionally talkative, you’ve learned along the way. It’s nice to have someone to fill the silence, moving from one random topic to another, never letting an awkward pause hang for too long. But he can also be exceptionally annoying when you have some papers to do and he’s bothering you because he’s bored out of his mind. He’ll start pestering you with questions—unimportant questions—like, “If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?” Or “Why is it that when you are sleeping it's called drool but when you are awake it's called spit?” And the stupidest of them all, “Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? This question intrigues me.”

And you’ll eventually start to lose it, throw a pillow to his face and yell, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

But by the end of the day, it’s really fun to have him around. Not just because you can secretly enjoy the sight of him coming out of your shared bathroom with only a towel hanging low around his hips, but also because he’s a vampire and you can spend your time doing actual research about it.

“So,” you began one day after the sun has set and he crawled out of his room with the biggest bird's nest on his head. You had a romance novel on your lap, your fingers running through the pages. “Are you like an actual vampire or are you the romanticized, somewhat gay vampire they usually depict in books?”

“Well, I’ve never been with a man but I don’t really oppose the idea.” He took a seat beside you on the couch, laying his feet on the coffee table. You kind of just stare at him, not exactly judging his words, just… bewildered.

He noticed the look on your face. “When you’ve lived for a century, you gotta learn how to keep things interesting, even if that means having a dick in my mouth.”

“That’s…” You swallowed. “Not exactly something I want to imagine.”

“You should, though. Try picturing me with your boyfriend Mark for a sec. Don’t we look hot together?” You had to look away when he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just had to.

“So, these vampire books you said you read,” he went back to the previous topic after cackling for a whole ten seconds at the flustered look on your face. “How do they depict us exactly?”

“You’ve never read one?”

“Have you ever read any books about humans written by vampires?”

“Fair point. Well, it said that vampires couldn’t see themselves in the mirror.”

“Myth,” he replied, leaning his head against the couch. “I can see myself in the mirror and I like seeing myself just as much as you do whenever I come out of the bathroom.”

You almost blurt out the cinnamon cookie you just ate. “Excuse me?!” You cough, eyes starting to get a little teary. “Who said I like looking at you?”

“You don’t?” The way his eyes twinkled made you a little bit weak. A smirk grew apparent on his face. “You sure about that?”

You cleared your throat, flipping another page of your book. “Next question,” you continued, ignoring the soft laugh he emitted. “Do garlic, holy water, and silver scare you?”

“They don’t scare me,” he clicked his tongue, vexed by the way you composed your words. “I just don’t like them.”

“Right, so that’s a yes. Do you have to be invited in to be able to enter someone’s home?”

He tightened his jaw, quietly murmured, “Yes.”

“Can you read someone’s thoughts?”

“No, but I can tell how they’re feeling through their heartbeat.” His eyes were boring into yours, lips curving upward. “Like you, for example. I can tell that whenever I’m around you, your heartbeat runs just a little bit faster.”

You glanced away, rubbing your nose. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Ah,” he showcased his perfect marbled teeth as he grinned knowingly. “Just like that. Your heartbeat is increasing again. Are you lying to me, milady?”

“You’re freaking annoying, you know that?”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“Speaking of that,” you immediately said, knowing it was the perfect chance to avert his attention to another topic. “Can you charm someone?”

“With these looks?” He gestured to his entire body. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” But when you started scowling at him, he added, “But if you’re talking about mind compulsion, yes, I am able to do that. I can erase and alter people’s memories, even controlling them only by making eye contact.”

“That sounds pretty convenient.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like doing it.” He shrugged, staring at the ceiling with droopy eyes. “Hypnotizing them to get what I want just doesn’t sit right with me. I want to feel a connection, you know?”

“So doing one night stands with vampire groupies is the perfect way to earn that connection, I suppose?”

He tilted his head, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “You really know how to attack someone’s pride, huh?”

“Part of my charm,” you mimic him with a nod. “Okay, next question. Can you die with a wooden stake piercing your heart?”

He rolled his eyes. “Everybody dies with a stake in—what is this, an interrogation?”

“Do churches—”

“Okay, Sweetheart.” He closed your book, smiling at you though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think that’s enough. My turn.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, not really pleased with the way he just suddenly changed the direction of your conversation. “What do you want to know?” You indulged him anyway.

He tilted his head, propping his elbow on his thigh, fingers tapping against his cheek as he rested his chin on his palm. Gazing at you intensely, he asked, “Are you a virgin?”

It didn’t take even a split second for you to blush. “T-that’s—What kind of question is that—”

“Ah, so you are.” His smile grew a bit larger, but you weren’t sure whether he was amused, aroused, or just excited to mock you about it. “Is that why you’ve been staring at me a lot lately? Because you’re curious?”

“For the last time,” you emphasized, though your heart was hammering against your ribcages. “I wasn’t looking at you. I never—”

“You’re adorable when you lie,” he snickered, a lopsided smile painting his face. “Your heartbeat sounds like you just did a marathon. Are you okay?”

You threw your book at him, successfully wiping the smirk on his goddamn perfect face, and raced back to your own room.

“Ah, she’s really cute.” Was the last thing you heard him say before you slammed your bedroom door behind you.

***

For a vampire, Donghyuck’s presence is as bright as the sun, always managing to lift your mood whenever you’re too stressed about your college assignments or too exhausted from your part-time job. Of course, he’s also the cause of your stress more often than not, but whenever you get into a fight with him—usually because he’s so disorganized and you’re too obsessive to keep everything in order—it doesn’t last long and ends up with him making you the best dinner you’ve ever had to compensate, even when he’s not the one at fault.

Donghyuck doesn’t consume human food but he makes the best cuisine you’ve ever tasted in your life. And also the sight of him wearing your pink apron while humming to a Michael Jackson’s song with his bangs tied to the side using your hairclip is really, really something to behold—which is weird because that obviously doesn’t scream sexy in any way, or masculine even, but it makes your stomach do somersaults most delightfully.

“Dinner is served, Milady,” he says, laying down a plate of Spaghetti Aglio e Olio in front of you, making you gawk at the sight. “And it’s special because it contains a lot of garlic—seriously, like a lot. I had to put some gloves on and everything.”

“You’re an angel.” You nearly cry and it’s not an exaggeration. “I can’t believe you did this all for me.”

“Well, I haven’t really thanked you for covering my rent last month so…”

“It’s fine, you can pay me back later.” You take a hold of your fork, already wetting your lips in anticipation, and waste not a second longer before you dig in. When the cheese melts inside your mouth, you almost moan in joy. “Oh my God, this is so good. I love you.”

He chuckles, suddenly standing behind you, leaning forward so he’s next to your ear. “Yeah? How much?”

You raise your silver spoon in the air and he immediately leaps to the other side of the kitchen, startled and scared out of his mind. “Hey, that’s not nice! I thought we’ve talked about this!”

Rolling your eyes at him, you take another spoonful of it. “Man, you should really make a job out of this,” you comment. He only cooks whenever he feels sorry for you for going through a hard day—whether it was because of him or something else—but if that’s what it takes to have this magnificent dish entering your mouth, you don’t mind suffering more often.

“I really should, huh?” He takes a seat on the kitchen counter, his legs dangling a few inches in the air. “I’m really running low on money.”

“I thought vampires were supposed to be rich and like, noble.”

“You’re confusing us with Aristocrats.” He grieves. “Do you think I can get a night shift at a restaurant downtown?”

“Oh, I actually know a place. I’ll take you there tomorrow.”

“Like on a date?”

You almost drop your fork. “Why do you have to make everything weird?”

His cheeky grin is contagious but you’ve become a master of handling your expression. “I just like seeing you blush,” he confesses. “Have I told you how cute you are?”

“Today? Not yet,” you mutter as you munch on your food. “Yesterday? Approximately two hundred and thirty-five times.”

“Then I’ll try to break another record today.” He throws you a wink.

“Shut up and let me eat in peace, please.”

***

“Donghyuck-ah.”

“Yes, baby?”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop posting a goddamn selfie every ten minutes!” You almost throw your phone to his face but since it’ll be a waste, you decide to throw your shoe instead. “I didn’t teach you how to use Instagram for this!”

Donghyuck easily dodges every single thing you’re throwing at him. “Didn’t you tell me to promote my cooking skill? That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“How does this—” You show your phone’s screen to him, almost smacking him on the face with how fast and hard you’re doing it. You slide your thumb over his Instagram feeds, showing more than fifty different pictures of his close-up face and he just made that account two days ago. “—promote your cooking skill?!”

“But, look,” he guides you, clasping his hand to yours so you’re both holding your phone. He taps from one picture to another. “This is me holding a spatula. This is me boiling water and this is me pouring barbecue sauce—”

“Oh my God.” You almost yank every hair out of your head—or out of his head. “I follow more than four hundred people and all I can see is your damn selfies!”

“Correction, my damn cute selfies.” He pecks your cheek. “You’re welcome, babe.”

But all jokes aside, it actually works. His adorable selfies—no matter how bad you hate to admit it—are attracting more followers each day that by the time a week has passed by, he has gained more followers than you (and you’ve had your account for three years, shame on you).

And on the following two months, he gets his first endorsement deal.

“I can’t believe this,” you say, gaping as you stare over his shoulder to look at his phone’s screen, shamelessly reading his direct messages. He’s getting an offer to become a brand ambassador for this little bakery with a cover photo of a lady with chubby cheeks baking cupcakes. “I can’t believe there are people crazy enough to hire you.”

“Hey, privacy!” He immediately stands up from the couch, covering his screen with his palm. “I could’ve been sending nudes!”

“You’re sending nudes?”

“Well, not my nudes.” He rolls his eyes.

“How is that any better?!”

“Look, I’m busy. I got a gig.” He grins proudly. “I’m on my way to becoming a celebrity, babe. Do you want my autograph now before it’s too late? I could sign your bra if you want. I mean, I’m totally down if you want me to sign your tits, but if you ever think that could be awkward—”

You smack his head with a spatula.

***

It’s your first date night after nearly half a year of not contacting Mark due to him going overseas for student exchange, and you’re nervous for various reasons.

First, you haven’t told Mark you’ve been sharing a place with a guy.

Second, you certainly haven’t told him that this guy is a vampire.

Third, you absolutely in any way cannot tell him that you’ve been secretly crushing on this guy while your boyfriend was away studying.

And last but not least, you know that if anything happens tonight, whether it ends up with you fighting with Mark or finally losing your virginity to him, Donghyuck can hear every single thing.

So you barge into his room, hand laying on the front of his bedroom door as you push it open. “Donghyuck-ah.”

Like always, he’s laying idly on his bed, head almost dangling on the edge of it with his phone in his hands. “Yes, baby?”

You sigh, rubbing your temple. “How many times should I tell you? Don’t call me that.”

“You’re not my baby anymore?” He fakes a loud gasp. “I am shocked.”

“Mark is coming over tonight.”

His movements stop abruptly. “I didn’t realize you were still with him.”

“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s been nothing but sweet to me.”

His eyes lose the mischievous spark he usually displays in them. “And yet, you keep drooling over my body. Can’t say I’m not hurt.”

“I never—” You exhale loudly, throwing your head back. “I’m not going to have this argument again. He’s coming over tonight to have dinner—”

“But you’re a shitty cook.”

“By dinner, I mean take-outs,” you admit your defeat. “Anyway, I came here to ask you a favor.”

“Sweetheart,” he calls, turning over to his stomach so he can face you without having to see you upside down. “I know I said I wanted to make things interesting, but having a threesome with you and Mark? So suddenly like this? Don’t you think it’s gonna be a little awkward between us? I barely know the dude. You should at least tell me what kind of person he is, whether he likes action movies or romantic ones, whether he blames someone else when he farts—I need to know him before I have his dick in my mouth.”

Talking to him gives you headaches, you should’ve really come prepared. “Are you done?”

“Do you still want me to continue? Okay, well—”

“Shut up, please for the love of God, shut up.” You should take your leave before he starts yapping again. “Look, that super hearing thing you do? Can you turn it off just for one night?”

“Sure thing, click,” he says, snapping his fingers near his ear. “Done. Now I’m deaf.”

You flatly stare at him. “I’m serious.”

“Whaaaaat? I can’t heaaaaar youuuu.”

“Hyuck!”

He groans loudly, rolling his eyes. “Well, it’s not like my ears have on-and-off buttons I can just switch, okay? What do you want from me?”

He’s right, there’s nothing you can do. “Then, can you leave the apartment for the night?”

He opens his mouth wide, hand going to his chest. “You’re kicking me out from my own apartment? This is heresy!”

“Donghyuck-ah, please!” Great, now you’re stomping your feet like a child. “I just really need some privacy for tonight.”

“Oh, you’re gonna get laid, aren’t you?” He raves mockingly, but his eyes are somewhat bitter. “Seriously? With that guy? I think you could do so much better, Sweetheart.”

Vexed, you jeer back, “Yeah? And who do you have in mind? You?”

You’re not sure whether it’s your words or the way you say them because his eyes suddenly turn darker, almost glowering at you but it only happens for a second or two so you’re not sure if you even see that clearly.

“Well, it’s not my business, is it?” He casually chirps, smiling at you again though something still feels off. “Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop on you two. I have a lot of kinks but voyeurism isn’t one of those. You won’t even notice I’m here.”

“You…” Something feels really off with the way he’s acting. It’s like he’s visibly upset but trying to act nonchalant about it. “You’re sure?”

“You have my words.”

“Okay then.” Whatever it is, you figure you can deal with that later. “Well, I’m gonna take a shower.”

As you shut the door behind you, uneasiness starts to fill your chest.

***

Your date with Mark is going well. It’s going so well, even, that you end up lying on your bed, perfectly naked, lips swollen from his kisses, with him hovering on top of you, both breathless and speechless.

And unfortunately for you, also clueless.

He has a packet of condoms in his hand, and no matter how embarrassing it is for you, you already have your legs spread on the bed, waiting for him to… well, do whatever it is he’s supposed to do. Perhaps it’s okay for you to be clueless about sex because guys usually take the lead, right?

Wrong.

“Okay, wait, let me just—” Mark’s fingers are shaking due to anxiety. His poor, innocent mind cannot handle being so painfully turned-on and awkwardly embarrassed at the same time. Your boyfriend has always been awkward with literally everything, which kind of makes him adorable but it does not come as cute—not in the slightest—when he’s doing the exact opposite of what’s he’s supposed to do. Somewhere deep in his mind, he probably knows that he’s supposed to tear apart the packet sexily with his teeth, put the condom on within seconds, and thrust into you as painlessly as possible. But in reality, what’s currently happening is he tries to catch the condom that flew out in the air after he managed to tear the packet apart with his shaky fingers. He then progresses to try putting on the condom for approximately fifteen minutes while flinching several times when he accidentally slaps the elastic band against his cock.

The whole thing is a fucking disaster (no pun intended) and all the passion, desire, and arousal that you once felt swirling in your stomach vanish in an instant. And when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, it does, because being a virgin himself, Mark doesn’t really know where to, for the lack of better words, put it in.

“Mark?”

“Y-yeah?”

“That’s my asshole.”

So with a reassuring (fake) smile, you lay a hand on his chest and gently push him backward, trying not to wince in chagrin when you suggest, “Maybe we should stop and try again some other time?”

You two dress back into your clothes in silence and after you escort him to your front door, Mark tries to kiss you at the same time you’re leaning in for a friendly hug so it ends up with him knocking his teeth against your forehead.

When he’s gone, you close the front door with a sigh, pressing your spine against the wooden surface as you soothe the pain on your temple away with your fingertips. It doesn’t take long before Donghyuck peeks his head from behind his door. Noticing you’re alone, he steps into the living room, leaning against the wall just a couple of meters away from where you’re standing.

“So,” he begins, acting casual, “How was the date with—” He suddenly bursts out laughing, one hand holding his stomach as he nearly tumbles down to the floor, cackling like a mad man. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but man, did he really put it in the wrong hole? Oh God, this shit is just beyond me, man.”

With your shoulders slumped forward, you walk back into your room, trying to gather back the pieces of dignity you have left.

***

“You know what I should do?” Donghyuck asks with a game controller in his hand. To stop him from making fun of you and your terrible incident with your boyfriend, you’ve borrowed a PlayStation from your cousin. Even though he claimed that he despised technology, Donghyuck is actually brilliant when he puts his mind to it. It doesn’t take more than two hours for him to master the game, already adapting to every button of the controller, even manages to land a few high scores in the last ten minutes. He used to prefer to live in the old school way, but that soon changed after your influence.

“Pray to God for forgiveness so He won’t send you to hell?” You offer, as you take a seat next to him on the carpeted floor, crossing your legs, eyes staring idly at the screen.

“Cute, but no.” He clicks some buttons aggressively, trying to reach yet another high score. “I should become a historian. I mean, I’ve seen things happened with my own eyes—the first world war, the second world war, the birth of Jesus.” He sneaks a glance, but seeing no reaction coming from you, he juts out his lower lip in disappointment. “It’s cruel that you don’t indulge me with my jokes these days.”

“Oh, so you want me to respond? I thought you just liked hearing yourself talk.”

“Heeeeeey,” he hisses, leering at you. “I know you’re hurt that your boyfriend tried to butt-fuck you but don’t throw this all on me.”

Oh my God. “Right, then let’s try this.” You have no choice but to please him this way before he destroys whatever is left of your pride. You do a quick search on your phone, throwing a random question from what you found in the article. “Who led our country in 1950?”

“Easy. The guy with the bald head. No, wait, is it the skinny one with the huge mole on his neck?”

“Name, Hyuck. I need a name.” You exhale in exasperation.

“Oh, I got it! The one with the annoying high-pitched voice!”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Well, how the hell am I supposed to remember shits that happened seventy years ago?”

You give him a look, eyes staring at him lifelessly. “You’re right, you should totally apply for the job. You’ll nail it.”

***

“I can’t believe this.”

“Saying that multiple times won’t really change anything, Sweetheart.”

“I can’t believe this,” you repeat, this time while standing up from the couch, slamming your fashion magazine down to the table. “I can’t believe our air conditioner broke when it’s nearly thirty degrees outside! Aren’t you hot?!”

“Am I hot—” He snorts, flipping a page of his novel. Yes, it is actually quite bizarre that he spends his spare time reading. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I’m hot. Haven’t you seen the number of girls I brought into this place?”

“Ugh, God!” You plop back into your seat, throwing your head back in vexation. “What are you even reading?”

“That vampire book you talked about yesterday.”

“Which one?”

“The one that’s interesting.”

“Oh, Interview with The Vampire?”

“No.” The way he rolls his eyes as if he’s disgusted with your guess is beyond you. “Twilight.”

“Oh my God, stay away from me.”

“What—this is actually good!”

“These vampires sparkle under the sun—aren’t you, at the very least, offended? Because I’m livid and I’m human.”

“That’s what makes it interesting, actually,” he retorts, eyes moving back-and-forth as he reads through a passage. “They’re so different than us in real life, so it’s like seeing through a new perspective. I’m Team Jacob, by the way.”

“Good Lord.” You palm the side of your face. “You’re more than a hundred years-old but you have the taste of a teenage girl going through puberty. I’m ashamed of knowing you.”

“You’re just cranky because of the weather.”

“I’m literally dying.” You can feel sweat drenching your back, all the way to your shirt and you just took a shower twenty minutes ago. “You’re lucky you’re immune to temperature changes.”

“Then wanna sit on my lap?”

Your ears must be playing tricks on you. “Excuse me?”

Donghyuck sighs, closing his book and throws it away to the side. Turning to you, he repeats slowly, dragging out every syllable. “Do. you. want. to. sit. on. my. lap?”

You send him a blank stare, annoyed. “I heard you, asshole. I’m not an idiot. I’m just shocked at your offer. You’re really going all out in harassing me these days, aren’t you?”

“What—” He throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’m a vampire, remember? I have cold skin. Here,” he takes one of your hands, sliding it down his shirt as if it’s nothing, and presses it against his stomach. “Can you feel it?”

All the blood rushes to your face, making you feel lightheaded but also conscious of how his skin feels under your palm. It is cold, though not as cold as he’d made a big deal out of it. It’s like the room temperature during the spring season, at most. But compared to how sizzling it is right now, his skin is nice to the touch, relaxing even.

But all that thought just goes straight out of the window when he shifts on his seat and you can feel his abs muscles contracting.

“Whoa,” he stops, looking at you. “Are you okay? Your heartbeat is insane.”

You smack him on the head and try to suffocate him with your cushion. It doesn’t work since he doesn’t breathe, but at least it can stop him from seeing how red your face is turning.

But when another day passes by and your landlord is still taking his sweet time trying to find a cheap handyman to repair your AC, you decide to take on his offer. You know it’s weird for roommates to cuddle but, as you try to reason within yourself, you will be sitting on the-sexiest-man-you’ve-ever-witnessed-with-your-eyes’ lap, your back pressing against his (hopefully) bare chest, and snuggle close until your body heat is no longer screaming at you in agony. You don’t really see any problem with this. After all, you have been imagining how it would feel to sit on his lap every time he does that manspreading thing on your couch.

So really, what’s there to lose?

“Okay,” you begin, standing in front of him in an already awkward position. “So, how can we do this without being weird about it?”

Donghyuck tilts his face up, leaning his back against the couch, phone in his hand. “Do what?”

“Do…” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “You know, what you offered yesterday.”

“Hmm?” He raises his eyebrow in question, but the way one side of his lips is curving upward betrays his act. “I forgot. What exactly did I offer to do?”

“You’re seriously going to make me say this out loud?”

“Baby, I’m clueless.” His smirk grows wider, his voice filled with allure. “Please. Enlighten me.”

He’s toying with you, that’s for sure. And no matter how much you want to feel those arms around you, there’s no way you’re gonna let him degrade you like this. “Fine, then forget it,” you sulk, turning around on your heels with your scarlet cheeks puffed out but Donghyuck laughs in the most innocent way when he’s clearly nothing like that in reality. Calling your name in a sing-song voice, he circles his fingers around your wrist and tugs you back until you tumble down to his lap.

“You’re never honest,” he says, his velvety voice suddenly only a whisper away. His arms are tied securely around your waist, pulling you close until you can do nothing but lay your back against his chest. “But you’re cute so I forgive you.”

You can’t form a word, too busy trying to compose yourself. You can’t hear his heartbeat—since he’s the creature of the undead, obviously—but you assume with the proximity you’re being, you would’ve definitely heard it if he had one.

You didn’t notice it before but now that you’re sitting on his lap, your palm pressed against his thigh for stability you realize that he’s wearing black ripped jeans with holes that are oh so terribly distracting. If you dare to move your finger, you’ll be able to trace the smooth skin at the inner part of his thigh.

You gulp hard.

You can hear him snickering behind you. “Thinking about something dirty?”

You almost swallowed your own tongue. “What—no!” Flapping your hands in panic, you almost fall from his lap but his fast reflex won’t let you, as he embraces you tighter, making you fall back to his chest with a small oof.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you,” he chuckles lowly, his lips grazing against your earlobe. “This is nice. We should do this more often. You fit perfectly in my arms.” He says his line with sincerity with no trace of humor or teasing in it, which effectively make you curl your toes in bashfulness.

“You’re gonna have a heart attack if you keep your heart rate going like that, Sweetheart,” he titters.

“Yeah, well,” you try to push him away by pushing your palm against his cheek. “Unlike you, I don’t really spend my time snuggling with the opposite sex, so of course I’m nervous.”

“You’re sure it’s not because of me?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I’d most likely have a bigger reaction if Mark was the one holding me instead.”

The way he suddenly goes stiff intrigues you, but you don’t dwell on it. “Is that so?” He simply retorts back, tone suddenly becoming cold and it makes you feel uneasy.

“So, uhh…” Your breathing tatters when he becomes mute, only the sound of the ticking clock on the wall can be heard. “Wanna watch a movie?”

He only hums, placing his chin on top of your head. Since he’s always so talkative, it gets really tense when he’s quiet. “Did I offend you or something?” You question.

“I don’t know, did you?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I knew.”

“Then let’s just leave it at that.” Seeing how you keep fumbling with the remote in your hand, he snatches it away and proceeds to switch the channels. “We’re watching Twilight.”

“Nooooooo, not again!”

But his arm, as he raises it high in the air, is longer than yours so you can’t steal back the remote no matter how hard you try. And as you jump up and down, shifting back and forth on his lap, Donghyuck warns, “I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose, but if you keep doing that, I’m gonna get a hard-on.”

You immediately stay still, hands tucked neatly on your lap, chest thundering. “You—Why—” You shake your head, flushed. “How can you say things like that?”

“Things like what?”

“Sexual things like that.” The more you reveal your thoughts, the harder you blush. “Don’t you have any shame?”

“What, I can’t be honest?” He snorts. “I didn’t mean to harass you or anything. Just letting you know in advance. It’s completely a guy thing.”

“No, it’s not just that. You always flirt with me—calling me baby, telling me how I look cute all the time when you don’t even mean it—“

You’re interrupted with a loud sigh accompanied by an impatient groan. “Turn around, look at me,” he orders and his tone is irrefutable. When you turn slightly, making eye contact, Donghyuck has his eyebrows furrowed, almost glaring at you. “I know you’re gullible, and I know you’re dense when it comes to things like this but I swear to God, if you don’t start taking a hint, I’m going to have to push you against the wall and kiss you to prove my point.”

You’re dizzy and nauseous, and your stomach is flipping like crazy and you’re conflicted between believing him or laughing at him because although he looks dead serious right now, you can’t help but wonder what if, after you give in to your feelings, he sends you that signature cheeky grin of his to reveal he’s just joking all along? You’re not even brave enough to imagine, even when the vivid image of him pushing you against the wall, his knee slipping between your legs while he brings your wrists over your head, holding them still with one hand is enough to keep you awake for hours.

So you decide to take the easy path. “Okay.”

He blinks. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You shrug, acting casual. It’s really a miracle that you don’t stutter when you deliver the next line. “You told me to take a hint, that’s what I’m doing.”

He raises one of his eyebrows, confused. “Just like that? You’re not gonna say anything more? Or do anything about it?”

“Nope.”

Slowly, there’s a shift in his expression. He shakes his head, tongue protruding against the inside of his cheek both irked and amused. “You’re really something.”

Surprisingly enough, he leaves it at that. Though it’s somehow uncomfortable, you follow his lead and just lock your eyes to your tv screen as he chooses his movie.

You have no interest in watching Twilight—absolutely nothing, zilch, zip, nada!—so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when your eyelids start to become heavy in the first thirteen minutes of the show. You would’ve fallen asleep way sooner though, if you weren’t too distracted with the way he laid his hand on your thigh, sometimes unconsciously rubbing or squeezing it with his palm when he got a little bit bored with the scene, making your breath hitched in your throat.

The room’s temperature is still hot even when it’s in the middle of the night, successfully making your bangs stick to your temple but Donghyuck is quietly humming something to himself. Soft, melodious sound is resonating from his chest directly to your ear and you begin to drift away, floating into your dreamland.

***

“Hey, wake up. It’s almost morning.”

Your bleary eyes are greeted with the dim light of the room. The TV in front of you has already been switched off so the only thing that can be heard in your apartment is the buzzing sound coming from your fridge and the faint ticking clock.

“What time is it?” You rub your eyes, not aware that you’re still sitting on his lap, with your spine leaning against his chest. It’s until you feel his arms loosening around your waist that you begin to think, oh fuck, what have I done?

You immediately jump off his lap, tripping over your feet but manage to hold your balance by placing a hand on the coffee table. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You screech, face aflame. “You kept holding me in that position all night?”

“Yeah.” He stretches his arms above his head, cracking his neck. “I wanted to wait until you wake up by yourself, but you know, the sun is about to rise.”

You’re still pretty much flabbergasted by the whole thing. “You really should’ve woken me up.”

“Well, you seemed like you were having the best sleep you’ve ever had.” He stares at you with a twinkle in his eyes. “Was it that good being in my arms?”

You’re about to explode. “Okay, wow, look what time it is.” You try to look at your wrist and mentally slap yourself harder when you realize you’re not wearing a goddamn watch. “A-anyway, you really should go back to your room before it’s too late.”

He shakes his head, chuckling at your stupid antics as he stands up from the couch. He ruffles your hair once, making a mess out of your strands before he heads back to his room. As he slides open his door, he spares you a glance over his shoulder. “Hey.”

“What?”

“You kept calling my name in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?”

Whether it’s true or he’s just flirting with you to get your reaction, you don’t want to know. “Just go to your room!”

***

A few moments after the sun sinks below the horizon, Donghyuck comes out from his room with bleary eyes and his shoulders slumped forward.

“Good morning, Princess,” you joke, your hands busy mixing coffee powder, sugar, and milk to make your own version of Dalgona coffee. Donghyuck scratches the back of his head, his eyes are barely open as he heads to the kitchen, not even sparing you a glance. When he opens the fridge, he groans loudly, noticing that he forgot to restock his red wine. He slams the door with a loud huff, drags his body to the dining table, and sits down with his cheek pressed against the table. Seeing how you’re not paying him any attention, he groans again, louder and whinier this time.

“Okay, what?” You ask, leaning your back against the counter, a cup of coffee in your hand.

“I’m thirsty,” he grumbles, jutting out his lower lip.

“Then drink.”

“I don’t have any money to buy even a bag of blood. Why do they have to make it so fucking expensive?” He pouts. “I mean, I can always steal one but I’m scared of being caught.”

“Scared of being caught? You, with your superhuman speed and strength?”

“Well, they have those security cameras installed all over the place! I don’t want to get arrested or worse, go viral!” You resist the temptation to roll your eyes at his nonsense. “These fucking technologies, man, I swear to God, they’ll be the death of me someday.”

“Then just go outside. Our town is filled with walking blood bags.”

He groans again, now pressing his forehead against the table. “Man, the effort I have to make just to survive. I’m so done with drinking blood from slutty girls. They’re bitter.” He sticks out his tongue at the memory.

“Yeah, why is that? Why do you only drink from them?”

“Because they’re the only ones who’ll agree in a heartbeat.” His voice is muffled as his lips are brushing against the surface. “Also the sex isn’t too bad if you can ignore how annoyingly loud they are.”

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” You grimace at the flashback. It really has been a while since he brought one of them back to his room and you were ecstatic about it, knowing you were the only girl he had been giving his attention to. “Why don’t you just compel someone to give their blood? You can erase their memories too after you’re done.”

“I’ve told you, I don’t like doing that. It makes me feel like a monster.”

It’s cute, you suppose, the way he tries his best to defy his nature. “Then…” You tap your fingers against the mug, somehow feeling uneasy. “Why don’t you try being in a relationship with someone? I’m sure they’ll be willing to give you their blood if they like you that way.”

“Yeah? With who?”

“I don’t know, like…” Your cheeks grow hot, bringing your face down to hide your eyes behind your bangs. “Maybe just someone you like.”

“Are you volunteering?”

The way he suddenly has you backed against the counter, trapping you inside his arms, and whispers seductively with his lips almost grazing your own make you jump on your feet, your cup slipping off your fingers, crashing to pieces when it hits the marbled floor.

“Careful!” Donghyuck holds you by the waist, stopping you just a split second away from stepping on the broken glasses. You realize your hands are fisting against the back of his shirt, embracing him for support without knowing. You pull away immediately, clearing your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” he says, letting you go. “I mean I did, but not like this.”

You sigh. “It’s okay, just step away. I need to clean this up.” He tries to help but you won’t let him, because having him in such proximity is going to blind your senses, unable to function properly. Even just thinking about the way his strong arm fits the curve of your waist already makes you lose focus that you end up cutting your finger with a shard of glass.

He catches the little surprised yelp that escapes your lips and immediately bends down to check on you. “See, this is why I told you to let me clean up instead,” he complains, carrying you to the sink and drenches your finger with running water. “Let me see.” With a hold around your wrist, you can barely do anything but to let him examine your cut thoroughly. “Well, it’s not deep but it’s… still…”

Noticing how he trails off, you look up to check on his face seeing how his eyes are now glowing a bit brighter, his lips parted as if in awe from the way droplets of blood seep from your fingertip, trickling all the way down to your palm.

“Hyuck…?”

His eyes are drifting back and forth from your face to your cut and you know where this is going but when he brings your palm closer to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick the blood off your skin, you nearly collapse to the floor.

“Hyuck—” You hiss, cheeks reddening as you try to retract your hand but his hold is firm on your wrist. He licks his way up before he brings your fingertip inside his mouth. Donghyuck has his eyes closed, a moan almost falls from his lip when the coppery taste taints his tongue. He sucks on the wound, wanting to taste more, to rip your skin apart with his teeth and—

“Hyuck!”

He blinks awake, shocked when he sees your face painted with fear. His fangs are drawn out but he immediately retracts them back before you get a detailed look, his face flushed as he takes a step back.

“S-sorry—” He looks away, rubbing his nape with shaky fingers. “I didn’t mean—shit I really have to go—I have to drink—” and when you blink your eyes, he’s vanished from your sight.

With your heart thundering inside your ribcages, you lean back against the kitchen counter again, your legs trembling under you.

That was close. So fucking close.

There’s a fear growing inside you but it’s not from the memory of him with his fangs extended like the true monster that he was. You’re not scared of him, you’re scared of yourself because you know you want him, you want him in any way possible. You want him to belong to you, to be with you, to be desperate for your touch, your blood, your presence, your everything, just as much as you are about him.

You bury your face in your palms. I am so fucked.

***

Hours turn into days and days turn into months, and before you know it, it has been a year since he moved into your apartment. The friendship that blooms between you feels nice and you want to keep it that way but it’s getting hard when he keeps on bringing random girls in skimpy dresses back to his room. You used to be furious by how loud they were being, but now you’re pretty much angry just simply by imagining him being with someone else. And it doesn’t even have to be sexual—just picturing him bonding with another person, even when it’s not as strong as what you two have, manages to irk you so much.

The thoughts of him keep revolving in your head no matter how hard you try to push them away. It even puts your relationship with Mark in jeopardy, as you can barely pay him any attention. It doesn’t surprise you at all when he decides to break things off, saying something cliche like, “I think we’re better off as friends,” and “It’s not you, it’s me,” which in normal circumstances will piss the hell out of you but when that happens, you simply just reply, “You’re right. Let’s be friends.” And there are no hard feelings—no feelings at all, even, which is weird considering you were only a month away from having your first anniversary with him.

Now that Mark is out of the picture, you can finally bring all of your attention back to Donghyuck. But the more you think about it, the more you’re not sure about the whole thing. He’s a vampire, isn’t he? What future do you expect to have with him? Let’s say you date him and things go well with your relationship, and then what? He’s going to stay young with that cute, boyish look on his face and you’re gonna be all wrinkled and gross, how are you ever going to be able to stand that? What if he wants someone prettier than you? What if he gets bored?

Or maybe it’s just lust you’re feeling. You don’t love him, you’re just physically attracted to him. That’s right. Strictly physical.

And yet, as you see him dressed up in a white buttoned-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, running a hand through his hair and pushing back his bangs to showcase his temple, you thought: fuck.

And when he smiles at you, as he places a plate filled with the exact dish he knows you love down to the dining table, saying, “I went ahead and did some research about you. I was about to buy you some presents but I thought it would feel more personal if I cooked something for you so,” and stopping to gaze at you with tender eyes before he adds, “Happy birthday, Sweetheart.” You thought: Jesus fucking Christ, just marry me already.

Donghyuck goes all the way with everything, from placing scented candles on the table, playing soft music in the background, even escorting you to your seat, pulling your chair back for you, and placing down a napkin on your lap. It’s too much for your poor brain to comprehend, and your chest is suffocating from all the feelings swirling behind it and Donghyuck looks so beautiful—almost goddamn ethereal even—in that shirt, in that hairstyle, in the dim light of the room.

“You’re not hungry?” He asks when a few seconds have passed by and you haven’t munched at your food like a caveman—because that’s what you usually do.

“I’m—you—” You splutter, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before you try again. “You look nice.”

You can already tell that he’s about to say something along the line of “But baby, I always look nice.” So when he just softly smiles back and thanks you about it, telling how you look just as nice when you know you look like a storm just hit you, you’re pretty much lost for words.

“You seem exhausted,” he comments, frowning in concern. “Hard day at work?”

You can’t trust yourself that you won’t start rambling nonsense again while answering his question so you decide to just reply to him with a timid nod.

“Why are you so nervous?” He laughs, eyes turning crescents. “Your heartbeat is going through the roof again.”

You loathe yourself for being so transparent. “I’m nervous because you’re suddenly being so nice. I can’t help but think you have a hidden agenda or something.” That’s a lie. A complete lie.

And you’re sure he knows it. “And what if I do?” He asks, raising an eyebrow seductively. “What kind of a hidden agenda do you think I have for you?”

Why is it so fucking hot in here?! “I don’t know…” You start fiddling with the fingers you have on your lap. “Drinking my blood, maybe?”

His expression is a mystery to you, even when his smirk seems familiar. “And would you be okay if that’s true?”

You can’t answer but fortunately for you, Donghyuck lets out a chuckle, telling you he was making a lame joke. You force yourself to laugh but it sounds like a wheeze so you stop before it gets even more humiliating.

Donghyuck walks to your side with a bottle of wine in his hands, sliding glass to your side as he says, “Wine, milady? It’s not blood, I swear.” And you believe him because this time, the liquid seems more ruby than crimson.

“You really need to relax,” he comments as he leans his back against the edge of the table, raising the glass of his usual red wine in the air before he clanks it gently against yours. “To the cutest, sweetest roommate in the world.”

You immediately take a sip to hide the blush that creeps up your face, flinching when the burning, mildly bitter flavor hits your tongue. You’ve never drunk any alcohol in your life and although this first experience feels rather unpleasant, you keep chugging more of it down your system.

“Does it taste good?” He asks, secretly smiling to himself as he witnesses how fast you’re drinking the whole glass down. You shake your head in response, which earns another laugh from him.

You’re not sure whether it’s because it’s your first time drinking alcohol or you just have a low tolerance when it comes to it, but you can feel yourself getting both lightheaded and drowsy. Donghyuck who takes notice of that, move you to the couch so you can rest more comfortably. “I better take this away,” he says, circling his lean fingers around your wine glass but you push him away.

“No,” you say, eyes a little bit unfocused. “I’m fine. Pour me some more.”

“Don’t you think it’s enough?”

“Just another glass, Hyuck, don’t be a bitch about it.”

He’s taken aback but collects his composure within seconds. “All right, just don’t blame me for it,” he states as he pours you another one.

“I have a question for you, Lee Donghyuck,” you coo as he takes a seat on the coffee table, facing you. “Does everyone’s blood taste the same to you?”

“It differs, actually,” he answers, taking a sip of his own drink. “But only faintly. I’m not that picky about it.”

“And how does it feel having your blood sucked by a vampire?”

“You’re asking the wrong guy.” He sways his head from side-to-side in amusement. “I mean, of course, I can have my blood drunk by another vampire but I’m not that kinky. I know some vampires who are into that kind of shit though.”

“Well, by the sound of your girls screaming like they were giving birth, it’s either very painful or very…” The sight of him staring at you intently, taking in your features, nearly throws you off tracks. “Pleasurable.”

There’s an awkward pause and silence hangs around to fill the space before Donghyuck speaks again. “How come you’re asking me these questions?”

“Because that’s all I’ve been thinking about,” you confess, not sure why, but you’re feeling very brave at the moment. “And it’s not just about you drinking my blood, but more about you entirely. You know what I mean?”

Donghyuck places his glass down on the table, leaning towards you. “Not sure, but I’m all ears.”

“I… just…” It’s getting harder to speak when he’s so close, you can start locating every tiny mole he has on his face and his neck. The small one near his Adam’s apple is the one that distracts you the most. “I just think we’re compatible with each other, you know? And I’ve never enjoyed someone’s company this much before. You’re funny, you’re smart, and you’re both endearing and freaking annoying at the same time—how is that possible?”

But Donghyuck isn’t laughing. His eyes are deep and dark, raking over your profiles with so much intensity but when he swats the bangs out of your eyes, his touch is tender. “What else? Tell me more.”

You lean closer to his touch like how a kitten would, making him gulp slightly at the sight. “I get so vexed whenever you spend your time with anyone else. I know I have no right to be jealous since we’re just friends but I can’t help it.” You sigh, rubbing the side of your face with your palm. “It’s so fucking tiring to think about you this much when I can’t have you.”

You’re too lost in your own thoughts that when Donghyuck reaches out a hand to touch your face, you jump in surprise, spilling wine all over your blouse. “Shit, this is my favorite shirt,” you whine, sliding your glass down to the table. “Can you get me some tissues?”

But what he does is lifting your body with both of his arms and carry you to the bathroom. You cling onto him with a yelp, trying to keep yourself away from falling even though you’re sure he’s perfectly able to hold your weight.

Donghyuck places you down on the bathroom counter, your fingers dangling at the edge of your sink. Sitting up straight, you begin to feel conscious of your surroundings. “What are you doing?”

“It’s your favorite shirt, right? We need to wash the stain before it sticks,” He explains, his fingers going to your collar. You nearly stop breathing when he asks for permission to undress you, “May I?”

You swallow hard before you weakly nod.

He takes time unbuttoning your shirt one by one when you know he can rip it apart easily with one finger. He’s so gentle, his touches are paper-thin but whenever his icy fingertips make slight contact with your skin, it sends electricity to every inch of your body.

When he manages to untangle the clothing from your body, you’re only left in your bra and your black satin lace cami top. You can tell he tries to be polite by not staring at what you’re wearing, and instead immediately drags your blouse to the sink, drenching it with water.

“Where did you place the detergent again?” He asks, reaching up over your head to check on the top cabinet and he’s so fucking close that you can see the movement of his Adam’s apple as he speaks. And it’s really, really tempting to just lean over and—

Donghyuck flinches when he feels you sinking your face in the crook of his neck, mapping your lips on his skin, breathing in his scent. You don’t know how vampires usually smell like but Donghyuck reminds you of summer even when you’re not sure how summer smells like. It’s funny how you’re not making sense, even in your own thoughts.

Pushing you away by the shoulders, Donghyuck’s eyes gleam in the way you’ve never seen before. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I…” You can’t form a word—you can’t even form a thought as you’re too busy staring at his lips, how smooth they look, how thrilling they must feel against your own. And maybe he’s thinking the same thing about yours because when you lean in for a taste, he meets you halfway.

It’s warm and it doesn’t make any sense, because the rest of his body is icy cold but as you press your mouth against his, all you can think about is how his lips are warm and soft, so fucking soft and delightful and maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks on you but you don’t care.

You breathe heavily through your nose, yanking at the collar of his shirt so he’s closer to you than he’s ever been, and you tilt your head slightly, angling your face so you can meld your lips deeper against his. He instinctively reacts by holding the side of your face, fingers slipping between your strands, tips curling around your nape.

He kisses better than any man you’ve ever been with and you’re sure he’s better than any man you’ll ever date in the future because Donghyuck knows what he’s doing, even when he’s caught by surprise.

Sliding your hand up to his chest, you can tell how his skin stands in contrast to the warmth of his mouth and it makes you shiver, your breathing rags, and you moan into his mouth, tracing your tongue along the puncture of his fang that’s still retracted, almost as normal as a human’s but something inside you tells you it’s not going to stay that long if you continue doing this.

So anticipation builds inside you because there’s absolutely no way you’re going to stop what you’re doing.

But Donghyuck is surprisingly more chivalrous than he looks. He pulls away, giving you a few inches of space to break the attraction. It’s not enough, your mind is still heavily clouded by the thoughts of him, so you reach up to kiss him again, catching his lower lip between yours.

“No, wait,” he says, voice sounding breathy though he doesn’t breathe. He circles his fingers around your wrists, holding them down against the counter so you won’t be able to move.

“Let me just kiss you,” you plead, eyes dazed and desperate. “Please.”

His chuckles are soft, almost inaudible. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not, I swear.” It’s horribly embarrassing how you’re itching for his touch as if losing physical contact with him causes you madness. “Hold up your fingers and ask me to count them. I’ll guess it right, trust me, so can you just—” You try to move your hand to pull him close but his grip around your wrist is stronger than your strength. “Hyuck—”

“Look, I want this just as much as you do—” He hisses when you’re using your knee this time, sliding it between his legs, giving him the friction that he needs. “Fuck. I probably want this more than you do, but—” He loses control for a split second, re-attaching his mouth to yours with so much fervor, tongues desperate to taste one another. The way you whimper against him makes him groan, his hand sliding down your thigh and spreading your legs apart so he can fit himself between them.

It’s when his fangs suddenly puncture your lips, drawing a hint of blood and making you cry out in surprise that he wakes up from his reverie, pushing himself away immediately to the other side of the room. You almost topple forward from suddenly losing him to lean on but manage to keep your balance by gripping at the edge of the counter.

Donghyuck turns around, facing the bathroom tiles as he leans one hand against the wall while his other one covers his mouth.

“Hyuck—”

“Sorry, let me just—“ His shoulders are shaking, trying his best to calm himself and the thirst that overwhelmed him earlier. “They’ll go back in a minute.”

“No.” You jump down from the counter, moving to his spot with careful steps. “Let me see them.”

He shakes his head, still not turning around to face you.

“I want to see them, Hyuck.” You place your hand on his shoulder, caressing him gently until he finally submits to your touch.

You only ever saw him with his fangs retracted twice in your life but even then, it was always too dark and too fast for you to see him properly. Now, you can take your time.

He’s so fascinating.

His eyes, as they peer into you in concern and uncertainty that he might hurt you, are glowing brightly in the color of topaz and they’re strikingly beautiful that you can barely look at anywhere else. His fangs are larger but he can still hide them behind his lips if needed. It’s the way they become frighteningly sharp that sends a shiver down your spine but you brave yourself enough to reach out to him.

“C-can I touch…?” You hesitantly ask, and he looks conflicted by the question but soon gives you a timid nod. He parts his mouth slightly so you can trace your fingertip along his cuspid, and you flinch as it feels like a knife splitting your skin.

He hastily pulls back, terrified at the thought of hurting you. “You’re okay?”

“Do it with me.”

“What?”

You take a deep breath, your heartbeat going crazy. “I want you to drink from me.”

“You’re crazy—”

“Please.” You lay a hand on his chest, tilting your head to the side, exposing your neck to his eyes. “Just try, Hyuck…”

The glimmer in his eyes shows that he’s yearning to fulfill your wish but he cups your cheek again, telling you, “You’re gonna regret this in the morning.”

“I won’t.” Your fingers find a home in his waves. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time so—”

A high-pitched yelp escapes your lips and you have to muffle the rest of your scream by mouthing against the fabric that covers his shoulder because Donghyuck doesn’t waste any second after he heard your confession. His canines are prickling against the skin under your jaw, just between the earlobe and the collarbone. And it hurts when he sinks them—so, so badly—that tears begin to form almost instantly behind your closed lids. Donghyuck suddenly lets you go, his eyes widening as he gazes at the way blood is gushing through his bite mark. “Fuck,” he says, “How can you taste so—” and he dives in again, moaning rather loudly when the warmth of your blood fills his mouth, swallowing a big gulp each time. “So fucking good,” he murmurs in pleasure, tightening his hold desperately around your waist as if you’re the thread that keeps him alive.

The pain only stays for a few seconds before a rush of endorphin seeps into your skin, running through your veins and pumping euphoria to every inch of your body. You slowly relax against his chest, eyes becoming half-lidded as you go into a trance, heartbeat slowing. You’ve never done any methamphetamine in your life but you imagine that it must feel somewhat like this.

“Hyuck…” You breathe out, feeling a little bit lightheaded, the strap of your camisole falling off your shoulder. You can feel your knees slowly giving out under your weight. “I… I can’t stand…”

He yanks himself away for a second, only to lift you so you can wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck. He carries you back to the counter, placing you down in the same spot as before, your legs dangling in the air.

“Better?” He asks, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb along your cheekbone. You nod, eyes going down to focus on his fangs again. His lips are painted with your blood, with some of it trickling down his chin. He’s a monster and he definitely looks like one, but his eyes are tender and his hands are silky smooth on your skin.

He slides his hand down to the hem of your camisole, fingers rubbing against the fabric as he peppers soft kisses along your jawline. “Is this one your favorite too?”

“Huh?” You’re having the hardest time trying to focus. “Oh… No, not really.”

“Well, then,” his lips are still sucking bruises on your neck when he rips both of your camisole and your bra with one flick of his hand, exposing your bare chest to the air, making you jump in surprise.

“Hyuck—” You’re silenced with another kiss, and it’s so consuming, so deep, so wild that you nearly sob against his mouth. The taste of copper makes you frown in discomfort but the knot starts to loosen when his tongue darts out to meet you in a messy kiss.

His hand is going down to your breast, cupping the side while he runs his thumb along your sensitive bud, making you rake your nails against his back in response. His other hand is tracing the curve of your waist, going down to your hips before he tears your skirt away, tossing the clothing somewhere across the room, following your previous ones.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he says, hooking his hands at the back of your knees before he pulls your legs forward, pressing his hardness against the wetness of your lingerie. You whine, circling your legs around his waist for stability, and murmurs, “No, don’t stop, please,” against his ear.

It’s not fair that he’s still fully clothed so you frantically toy with the buttons of his shirt, pushing the fabric off his shoulders with so much eagerness before you roam your lips to every inch of his exposed skin.

Donghyuck licks along the wound of his previous bite, emitting a sinful moan from the back of his throat when your blood sparks ecstasy in his mouth. His fingers are tentatively rubbing you over your lingerie and you beg with your lips muffled by the skin of his chest, “Take it off, just take it off, please—“

You can feel a tiny laugh reverberating from his chest over your desperation but you don’t care. You really are that desperate.

Donghyuck is more than willing to comply, sliding the lingerie down your thighs and you help him push it off your legs completely. You guide his palm to your heat, his fingers immediately sliding between your folds, the heel of his hand pressing against your clit. His mouth finds his way down the valley of your breasts and goes lower and lower until he has his head between your thighs.

You nibble at your lip in anticipation when he presses open-mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh. Donghyuck makes sure he has his eyes fixed on yours when he dips his fangs into your supple skin, making you quiver with the sensation.

“God, Hyuck.” You’re going insane, you can feel it. “I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me.”

And he probably is too because he’s abandoning all of his self-control at once. The way he sucks bruises on your skin, lapping at the trail of blood that painted your body is almost animalistic, raw passion mixed with lust and uncontrollable desire. He unbuckles his belt in hurry, pushing his jeans and boxers down just low enough to release himself from its confines. You can feel his tip grazing against your clit before he glides his length down your folds, pulling you by the legs so you’re almost laying down on the counter, half of your back pressed against the mirror behind you.

His eyes are hooded but they speak reassurance when they bore into yours. “I’ll be gentle.”

Now that it finally sinks you’re going to do this for the first time, your lustful desire gradually changes into jitters. You nod, permitting him to proceed.

The feeling of him stretching you little by little is absolutely painful and he can tell that too, hissing, “Fuck, you’re so tight,” as his eyebrows adjoin in the middle. You can barely stand the pain and you’re about to stop him by reaching out a hand, but he grabs your wrist and sinks his teeth to your skin.

Another jolt of pain sends tremors all over your body but just like before, another rush of endorphin hits you like a wave, gradually reducing your pain until you’re in haze again, blissful even, but also even more aroused than before, hungry for his touch.

“You’re okay?” He asks, licking the blood that trails down your arm. “Are you still in pain?”

You’re breathing hard but you can feel your heartbeat slowing. “Stop talking and fuck me already.”

His glowing eyes are gazing down at you with desire, intense with lust. He runs his tongue along his lower lip once, smirking as he says, “Yes, Ma’am.”

Even when he said he was going to be gentle with you, he’s doing the exact opposite. Or maybe he is going gentle, which only makes you wonder how wild can he be when he’s not holding back. The thought of him losing control of his mind as he pounds into you senselessly makes you shudder, tightening yourself around his length unconciously.

“My God.” The feeling of your heat enveloping him—squeezing around him—makes him drop his temple on your shoulder, dissolving him into a groaning mess. “You are driving me insane, do you know that?”

“Don’t hold back,” you hold his face, caressing his sharp jawline with trembling fingers. “Just do what you want.”

“But I’ll break you.” Although his eyes seem like he’s about to grant your wish.

You let your tongue slide up from his chin to his lower lip, stopping just to whisper, “Then break me apart, I don’t care,” before you crush his mouth with yours again.

Donghyuck’s thrust is both deep and hard, knocking your breath with each pound as he holds you by your hips, nails clawing into the skin. Maybe it’s the trace of endorphin left in your body that heightened all your senses while at the same time washing all your pain away because everything feels so unbelievably good. His touches, his kisses, his thrusts, and the way he moves his hips faster and faster until you can’t properly breathe—everything feels amazing.

And his voice—God, his voice—the way he moans and grunts against your ear, or when he sprouts expletives while he buries his face deep in the crook of your neck, lips scorching against your skin, makes you think fuck why did I waste a fucking year doing nothing when I can have him like—

You’re interrupted from finishing your thought when Donghyuck suddenly pulls out of you, making you whimper from the loss, and turns you around, forcing you to land on your feet again, your stomach pressed against the edge of the counter. You place both hands on the marbled surface as he pulls your hips closer to him, pressing his hardness against your behind as he presses his chest to your spine.

“Come here, look,” he says, holding you by the chin and lifts your face so you can gaze directly into the mirror. He shifts his hand, now holding back your bangs so your eyes are reflected perfectly. “Look how beautiful you are,” he purrs near your ear, the tip of his nose brushing against your jawline.

It’s both embarrassing and arousing to see yourself being held domineeringly by him, the curves of your body fit his perfectly even from behind. Your lips are bruised and swollen, blood smears messily around your neck, your wrist, your thigh even on your hips from the way he trailed his coated fingers along the skin.

Donghyuck raises two of his blood-smeared fingers to your lips, mixing your lipstick with your own blood before he slowly drags his fingers away, painting blurred lines of crimson to your cheek. He sighs at the sight, eyes half-lidded as they glow brighter. “If I’m a monster,” he says, voice low and breathy, “Then you’re a fucking goddess.”

You shudder and avert your gaze, ashamed of how sultry you look in the mirror and how sinful his gaze is as they rake over your body. He presses close, completing the dip of your spine with his chest like a matching puzzle. His fingers curl around the front of your neck, forcing you to look at your reflection once more as he licks a stripe up your wound. “We look good together, don’t you think?”

You’re breathing hard, chest heaving up and down with each breath. “Hyuck…” You crave for him to fill you again like before. “Please, just—"

He glides his hand down between your legs, teasing you with small touches but strong and fast enough to make you quiver. “So sensitive too,” he chuckles, nipping slightly at your earlobe. “You’re so fucking cute.”

Before you can retort anything back, he pushes the head of his cock into your heat again, agonizingly slowly at first but slams the rest of it with one snap of his hips.

“I’ve thought about this—about us—I think about you a lot,” he confesses, with low groans interrupting his lines. “You’re really driving me insane with that face of yours, your lips, your voice—whenever you call my name, whenever you pout after losing an argument—the way you secretly stare at me wherever I go—”

“I don’t—” You gasp, thighs trembling under your weight and he wraps an arm along your stomach, holding you still while he pushes in deeper. “I never—”

“And the way you lie just like now, with that blush creeping on your face.” He chuckles, kissing the middle of your shoulder blades. “Fuck, you’re so cute—so fucking cute that it pisses me off whenever you talk about Mark when we both know he can’t satisfy you the way I do—he doesn’t understand you— doesn’t get your stupid jokes—” He begins to fall out of rhythm, hips moving faster with each thrust. “He doesn’t deserve you—I deserve you.”

You catch the sight of your reflection, noticing how he sometimes throws his head back in pleasure, his strong hands gripping on the sides of your waist as he rolls his hips again and again, thrusting into you until you can only cry out his name and nothing more. It’s too obscene, too erotic for your eyes to witness, and when he locks his gaze with yours in the mirror, you nearly faint.

“H-Hyuck—” You reach out a hand back, trying to find his for support but he holds your wrist against your spine, pumping into you with strong strokes, leaving you with no options other than pressing the side of your face against the marble countertop, mouth parting in a silent scream.

The sounds of his groans and your whimpers echo through the bathroom walls, along with the sound of your skin meeting his. His teeth prickling against your shoulder, his eyes going to see how you look underneath him in the mirror before he sinks his fangs deep into you, making various sounds of pleasure as he drinks your blood.

The sensation of his thrust, his fingers slightly choking you as he holds you by your neck, and the amount of endorphin that washes over you soon drives you to your release and he embraces you closer, feeling every shake that you emit directly with his body. And maybe it’s from the loss of blood or everything else combined, but your vision starts to blur and suddenly your world turns black.

***

When you wake up, you’re laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling you’ve seen a million times with your eyes barely open. You’re still pretty much in a haze, not sure if you’re still floating inside your dream or back in reality. It’s until your door opens with a click that you can start to differentiate.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He peeks inside through the door holding your favorite mug, already dressed back in his favorite black tee and matching jeans. “I was wondering when you’d wake up. Can I come in?”

He walks in without needing an answer and, weirdly, he doesn’t seem nervous or awkward when the sight of him already makes you blush fervently and your heart races fast. A flashback comes in like an unstoppable train and you almost reach out a hand to your neck, wanting to know if his bite mark is still there.

The way he acts is so natural that you begin to wonder whether all that happened was simply your imagination. But when you try to move your body, jolts of pain runs like electricity to your bones, making you freeze instantly. It feels like somebody is trying to crack your head open, tearing your body apart and you fall back to the bed, weak and exhausted.

“You all right?” He immediately rushes to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed, checking on your face. “You lost a lot of blood, so I wouldn’t move too much if I were you. I brought you some coconut water, here,” he places the mug down on your nightstand. “And some supplements too. They’ll help with your blood loss. I’ll cook some fish and eggs for dinner later.”

You can only nod, too tired to even speak. His eyes begin to soften, his fingers reaching out to caress the strands of your hair. “I guess I went a bit overboard, I’m sorry.”

“A bit…?” You croak out.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats but can’t help a smile forming on his face. “I tried so hard not to, but you were so cute.” He leans closer, his lips hovering above yours but he rethinks his decision before he closes the gap, and moves to press a gentle kiss on your forehead instead. “You should get more sleep,” he murmurs against your skin. “Call me when you need help. I’ll be right outside.”

And he doesn’t spare you a glance as he stands up from the bed, but the way he trips on his feet once makes you realize that oh, maybe he’s embarrassed about all this too.

“Hyuck.”

He stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder as he lays a hand against your doorframe. “Yeah?”

“Where does this leave us?”

His face slightly goes stern. Turning over to face you, he questions further. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you pause, wetting your lip in anxiety. “Do you want us to pretend it didn’t happen?”

His eyes darken, somehow seem a bit upset. “Do you?”

“I… Uhh…” The way your heart is beating so fast makes you feel nauseous. “I don’t, but—”

“Then don’t suggest something like that,” he sighs, walking back to your bed again. He kneels on the floor so you’re eye-to-eye, squeezing your hand with his larger one. “Don’t scare me, okay? I finally have you where I want you.”

You look away, attempting to hide your flustered face. “But then, what are we now?”

“I don’t care what we are. I just want us to keep doing this.”

“Doing what, sex? You drinking my blood?”

“No, idiot.” He rolls his eyes. “I mean, yes, of course, that too. Plenty of that. But what I meant was I want to continue to have this kind of relationship with you. Us living together, making fun of each other, having dinners together, even spend hours watching re-runs of your stupid tv shows—”

“They’re not stupid.”

“They’re stupid. I only watch them because of you. You are my favorite show.” He winks, breaking the tension and you blurt out laughing, shoving him playfully by the shoulder. But when your giggle starts to fade, Donghyuck leans in to cup your cheek, smiling softly. “I just want to spend more time with you, as long as you’d let me. So can we have that? Please?”

“I…” You’re so captivated by his features, especially the shape of his lips. “I guess…”

“You guess?” He scrunches up his nose. “You’re playing hard to get again? Seriously? After all the begging you did in the bathroom?” Seeing you blush only makes him want to tease you harder. “What was it that you said? God, Hyuck, I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me—“

“Okay, shut up, geez!” You slap a hand against his mouth, steam practically coming out of your ears. “Yes, we can have that. I’d… love to have that actually.”

Kissing your inner palm, he lovingly smiles against your skin, appreciating your honesty. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Sweetheart?”

***

Read the sequel here

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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More undateables with a demigod hades mc???

By request, have yourself a part two!!

Demigod MC Series: Hades Pt. 2 (Un)Dateables Edition!

I will ask that y’all please don't ask for continuations of other gods unless I say it’s okay to do again. This series already fills my inbox something fierce and this is a one-off that I allowed for during the request window. If I have to make ideas for new gods while continuing a bunch of old MCs, it'll burn me out fast...

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2

Diavolo

Oh, he has no problem at all hosting a child of the Underworld, hell he even throws them a welcome banquet when he finds out! Hades is a dear friend - and practically a parental figure to him growing up - so he's more than happy to take in one of his children for a year.

Diavolo is actually one of the few people that the MC can talk to about their home with any kind of fondness. Usually when they bring up things like the comforting wailing of the River Coctyus, the brothers will give them weird looks... but Diavolo knows where they're coming from!

He spent numerous summers in the Underworld growing up doing things like pestering Charon on the River Styx or playing games with Cerberus (the other one) in the Asphodel Meadows... His beach house is actually modeled after his childhood summer home in the Isles of Paradise! Really, it can be a lovely place if the gloom doesn't bother you!

So in the spirit of his fond memories, Diavolo really tried to make their time in the Devildom a fun one!... in his maybe trying a little too hard way…

Poor MC found themselves offered pretty much everything under the moon… Tickets or exclusive passes to different cultural events/festivals, invitations to gala events, and tours of nearly every inch of Hell by the Prince himself - it was… it was a lot for the poor introverted thing…

It didn’t help that Diavolo would have a hard time gauging if they were having any fun due to their naturally melancholic nature, which only pushed him to try harder… He means well, he does. He’s just not the most in touch with what would make an anti-social doom child happy...

It took Barbatos and Lucifer stepping in for the mortal to actually start getting some much needed space and that improved their experience significantly. Sometimes less is more, Dia… Less is more. But they appreciate his efforts anyway.

Barbatos

Also has a pretty amicable relationship with the Ruler of the Underworld, though his is much more professional compared to Diavolo’s. He actually has a good deal of appreciation for the man for taking good care of the Prince during his visits, so he sees this as an opportunity to return the favor.

Like Diavolo, he’s rather focused on making sure the MC is having a good stay in the Devildom, but he’s much more subtle about it. He’ll come by the House often to check up on them and make sure everything is to their liking...

Even the brothers notice that he treats them like anothering visiting Lord/Lady in that way, which he would argue they very much are and should be respected as one. It’s the least the Devildom can offer their father at this point.

His visits may also be an excuse for keeping an eye on the brothers to make sure they don’t do anything to inconvenience their “young guest…” To be honest, the entire House is a little paranoid about that… Nobody wants to know the punishment for hurting MC if Barbs is the one dishing it out...

Apart from watching out for them, Barbatos tries to encourage the MC to accept the Young Lord’s gifts (while also actively advising Diavolo to go easier on them at the same time). It would be so disheartening to him if his Prince feels like he hasn’t offered them the best experience that he could… He’s sure they understand.

Any time that he invites the MC to tea, they usually end up talking about their father in some way. Barbs knows a surprising amount about the god… He’s been around about as long as Chronos - preceding the birth of Aether and Chaos themselves - so he has some stories to tell.

The MC did once ask him why he doesn’t just run everything if he’s really been around for so long... his answer was: “Kings and their kingdoms will rise and fall… Worlds upon worlds are born, then cease to be. But time is what brings about all changes… So, I think I’m perfectly content with the power I possess. Wouldn’t you be?”

Annnd they never asked Barbs another question like that again… and people think death is scary…

Simeon

He was honestly a little worried for their new companion for quite a while… It’s not like there’s never any sadness in the Celestial Realm or anything, but they seem to have something else entirely…

He’s heard stories about the Underworld. He’s never been himself, that’s usually a job for the Seraphim due to the… dreary nature of the place - but he’s heard it would make the Devildom look downright festive…

If he were being honest, he had half expected the MC to be obsessed with skeletons, ghosts, and other elements of darkness but that wasn’t the case. They certainly knew a lot about those things, but they appeared to have a healthy interest in the afterlife in general, so they asked him a lot of questions about the Celestial Realm, angels, and how the souls of the blessed are treated up there… It was surprising to say the least.

Of course he did the same and, frankly, Simeon found it incredibly wasteful that so many Greek followers find themselves just wasting away in a field of nothing for so long… but that’s neither here nor there.

He was also surprised by how gentle of an influence the MC ended up being on Luke as well. He had always suspected that the little angel just needed a bridge between him and Devildom to start finding appreciation for it, and the MC fit that bill perfectly - nothing he was used to, but still approachable enough to make everything less frightening. He thanks them a great deal for that… but...

It’s just that… Well they’re just so… depressing sometimes…! He doesn’t want to blame them because it hardly seems like their fault! They’re a very kind person, it’s just an atmosphere around them… It brings him to tears if he isn’t careful…

He’s invited the MC to Purgatory Hall on multiple occasions to chat and try to make them smile… When they do, the gloom is dispelled - even just a little - and they’re a truly beautiful creature regardless. It’s just so unfortunate that their life brings so much sadness...

Even so, he actually likes the MC enough to consider basing a character on them if he ever wrote another book. Something about a gloomy but sweet protagonist at home in a world of darkness sounds appealing… doesn’t it?

Luke

He didn’t know how to feel about the MC when they met. At first, he actually thought they were just as unhappy as he was to be there due to how depressed they looked but when they told him that wasn't true, he was really confused...

The Devildom is a dark, brutish, and dangerous place. Why would anyone feel at home down here??

But… well… He would spend time with them at RAD between breaks (partially to help scare off their many, many demonic suitors) and it might be weird to say, but they really made the Devildom look beautiful… literally.

The world just looks better when they’re around! It’s really hard to describe because it’s not something you notice much until they leave, but when the MC is around everything looks more vibrant and inviting! The grass gets greener, flowers grow bigger, and butterflies/birds hover around wherever they are like they have their own gravity - the realm loves them!

It started getting hard for Luke to hang onto his disdain for the place when they made it look so appealing… And then they started talking to him about the Underworld and the creatures they’d befriended there… creatures a lot worse than any demons he’d seen there...

Like. If the MC can be good friends with a bunch of rude walking corpses, then he could probably make friends with a demon right? There’s nice ones… kind of…

Beel. He can make friends with Beel.

Like Simeon, he does feel bad that they seem so sad all the time… but unlike the older angel, he’s a bit more understanding that this is just how they are and enjoys his time with them regardless. (It helps a lot that just being around this little bean of a boy can lift their spirits anyway).

And you know what’s even better for him? When Lord Diavolo gives the MC tickets to things that they don’t want to go to, sometimes they’ll invite him along or give them to him instead!

He’s gone to the Devil’s Coast with MC and Simeon sooo many times by now and he loves it!! Maybe the Devildom isn’t so bad after all, I mean, it can be a lot of fun when you go to the right places, anyway.

Solomon

Oh, he finds them both deeply fascinating and utterly terrifying - so just his sort of test sub-er, person!

He kids (somewhat), Solomon isn’t that dumb/lacking in self-preservation instinct. Experimenting on a child of death in a land of the dead (even if it’s not their “home turf”) would be asking for trouble. They’d have more than enough ammunition to fight him off and if their father found out? Immortality wouldn’t even begin to save him...

That being said, questions aren’t necessarily experiments… and oh boy, does he have a lot of them.

If the MC isn’t being pestered by Diavolo or the brothers, then they’re probably having to put up with Solomon nipping at their heels trying to get them to use their powers or answer all sorts of “innocent” scientific questions…

“MC, reanimation of Greek dead requires a blood offering, correct? Do you have to sacrifice animals for that process or do you allow them to feast on your own?”

“MC, when you’re controlling a skeleton do you move the body as a whole or do you have to animate each individual bone due to their lack of ligaments?”

“Think fast!! Oh look, you just caught the skull of my good friend, Richard! Could you bring him back from that, or should I fetch the rest of him?” 🙂

They put up with it because, believe it or not, he’s not nearly the weirdest person they’ve ever met (a lot of crazy people drift in and out of the land of the dead…) and well… they’re a pretty lonely person too so it’s not like they have a lot of standards when it comes to friendships anyway.

But the second they breathe a word of this to Barbs or Diavolo, this boy is on his way to a royal restraining order… Where does he even get those skulls…?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me undateables #obey me datables #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me demigods #obey me requests

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meilbox · 3 years

Text

◟♡ like real people do.

relishing in the baby steps of your relationship with denki kaminari.

wc: 1.2k words.

pairing: denki kaminari + gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint, established relationship

warnings: denki + reader being in love and extremely doubtful at the same time i think? one (1) mention of mineta. cuz hes gross.

a/n: this came to me while listening to the song of the same name by hozier, and my brain just went: ah yes, dumb pikachu. <3 if denki is out of character i’m so sorry i just wanted to write soft fluff for him :,) @denkamis come and get yo juice. jk i love you here’s your denki fluff.

requests are open!

Being in a relationship was something so exciting, yet terrifying all at the same time. At least, that was what you’d thought initially. The idea of finding someone you cared about with all your heart, someone you wanted to cherish for the rest of your days, it was scary to think about. You never thought you’d find someone like that.

That was, until Denki Kaminari popped into your life.

The sweet, optimistic, electric hero of class 1-A. Your classmate. Your best friend. Your boyfriend. Finding out he’d harboured similar feelings towards you was like a dream come true. All those feelings you’d originally believed only existed in the books and movies were standing here, right in front of you. Flourishing in front of your very eyes. Though the confession was quite the spectacle, and a little awkward and embarrassing on both ends, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The relationship you two had was much like a small plant. It was fresh, new, and needed lots of love and care. You couldn’t wait to see how it would grow between the two of you. Without fail, Denki managed to find a permanent place in your heart. Even if you two were still considered stuck in what they call “the honeymoon phase”, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even when teachers and friends alike would ask you questions that made you think for a minute, you’d never leave Denki. Often times it was small things like, “aren’t you two too young to say you’re in love?” or “aren’t you guys moving a little too slow?”, you and Denki were the only people who had a say in what went in your relationship, and you two had already had a couple conversations on the topic.

Small, shy glances towards one another in the middle of Ectoplasm’s lecture, tiny notes hidden on your desks by one another, gentle touches and brushes of hands against one another, anything you two did caused butterflies to flutter in your tummy, and your heart’s beat increasing drastically. Though, you couldn’t help but realize that you two hadn’t shared your first kiss quite yet.

It wasn’t a big deal between the both of you. You both had come to a mutual agreement that when you both felt ready to do so, you’d let the other know.

You knew it was silly to let others talk about your relationship the way they did, but it was something neither of you could brush off. Was it not normal to be three months into dating and not have a first kiss? What happened to ‘taking things at your own pace’? You’d even recalled Mina asking you about it, mentioning the nature he previously shared when hanging with people like Mineta.

Truth be told, before getting together, both you and Denki had been reluctant to act on your feelings for one another. Denki on one hand, was afraid you’d push him away because of who he’d hang around. He was never like that, and wouldn’t ever do anything to make you uncomfortable. Meanwhile, you were simply afraid that he’d reject you, opting to go for someone like Yaoyorozu or Jirou instead. But now that you two were together, reassurance and soft praises were a common occurrence between the two of you.

Currently, you two were in his dorm. Seated in between your legs was your boyfriend, sitting cross legged on the floor as you comfortably rested on his bed, arms draping on his shoulders, as he rubbed your arms with gentle movements. There was a movie playing on the screen of the tv in his room, but being in each other’s presence distracted you both from watching. The movie had practically been long forgotten as the two of you talked about anything and everything that came to mind. It was something you loved about Denki. Being able to talk without feeling judged.

“Say, Denki?” You speak once he’s done with his story, rousing him to lift his head to look at you, the same fond expression on his face he had whenever he spent time with you. He smiled.

“What’s up, buttercup?” He asks cheekily, causing heat to flood to your cheeks a bit. Day in and day out, he’d constantly batter you with cheesy nicknames, and even now, you still weren’t used to them. Using a free hand, you carded it through his golden hair with a tenderness saved only for your ball of sunshine. After some thought, you felt ready. You wanted to tell him how much you loved him. Kiss him and hope that maybe he can realize just how much he meant to you. He wanted all these things just as much as you did, but wanted to wait until you were certain.

A pregnant silence took over the room, nothing but the end credits of the movie playing in the background as you tried to find the right words for what you wanted to say next. Denki’s look of fondness quickly changed into one of slight worry at the sudden quietness that took over. Just as he was about to ask what was the matter, you beat him to it.

“How mad would you be if I said I wanted to kiss you now? I mean, I would hope you’re not mad, but it’s been months and we haven’t kissed yet. But I’m ready now, I feel ready.” You rambled, and Denki swore that he could feel himself just about ready to short circuit from there. He was buzzing with excitement. Denki couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. Even if he himself had been ready, he would wait until you called the shots. He wasn’t like how people may have depicted him as. He was so much better. He wanted to give you the world, and looked at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky.

He couldn’t even find the words to respond. At first it had you almost worried you’d scared him into silence, but you were immediately relieved of your concern when the sweet melody of his laughs filled the room.

“Baby. Darling, sweetheart, angel! Oh my god. You have no idea how happy I am right now.” He told you, standing now so that he could bring you into an embrace. “I love you so much, you know that right? I don’t care when we kiss. I hope you know that too. When we kiss doesn’t change how much I adore you.” He tells you, his voice just above a whisper, and your voice catches in your throat as he pulls away just enough to get a look at your features. You let out a sigh of relief and joined in on his laughter, the sounds dying down as you two gazed at one another.

Without any other words, Denki leaned in, and you met him halfway, lips finally connecting to one another. The kiss you two shared had been full of feeling. Emotions of adoration, and so much more. You could tell he was trying to be cheesy and romantic with it, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips.

After pulling away, you held him close, a giggle escaping your mouth.

“You’re so silly, I love you too.”

reblogs and likes are appreciated! please do not copy, plagiarize or repost my work.

#✎ᝰ┆mei’s scribbles. ꒱ ( 🗒 )#mha ( 🩹 )#mha x reader #mha fluff #denki x reader #denki kaminari #denki fluff #my hero academia imagines #my hero fluff

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

Note

Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔

God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)

- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.

*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)

I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)

- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha

- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:

- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)

- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.

Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY

- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.

There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)

- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)

I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)

- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)

PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man

- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)

- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight

- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)

- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.

What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!

#hopefully this makes some kind of sense my brain is in... a state but it was actually really nice to just focus on some character analysis!#tf x graves #league of legends #twisted fate

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fizzingwizard · 3 years

Text

Episode 32 arrives! It’s, I gotta say, quite an improvement on what we’ve had lately. Quite an improvement. Even so, it’s nothing that’s gonna rock the world... but hey, I was so desperate for something different to happen that y’know what, I’ll take it.

Pic of the week:

A Digimon who just wants to roll around in the grass. Go’way, baddies.

More below!

So as you probably gather... we start with Takeru this week! Haha! Good riddance Taichi! I luv ya but I’ve had enough of ya! Take a break!

jk I totally missed him the whole thirty seconds he wasn’t on screen

Takeru and Patamon are running for their lives, of course! Patamon makes a valiant effort to evolve to protect Takeru but...

... Poor baby. He gave it the ol’ college try but he just ain’t as young as he used to be.

Things look grim until Komondomon shows up with a creepy disembodied hand sticking out of his fur!

Phew, it’s just Sora. Her brilliant plan to rescue Takeru is to grab his arm and drag him along with them... I mean... sure... Whiplash has been proven Not A Thing in this universe so...

After getting rid of their pursuer, the group checks in with the others. I’m reminded of how silly separations feel when you can just communicate with each other by walkie-talkie. Yamato’s been riding Garurumon for a long time now lol. At least we got to see him...

He sweetly encourages Takeru and tells him the best thing he can do to help Patamon with his evolution issues is be there to support him. Then he tells Taichi “I leave Takeru in your case.” Ok sure, like Sora’s not right there...

Taichi: In my care? Should I point out that I already lost one little sibling to the dark side? Nah...

Seriously, though... that’s the current situation. Taichi is actively going over SkullKnightmon to get Hikari back. If Takeru stays with him that just means Takeru gets to go into danger again too. Of course, it seems that the dark side is suddenly uninterested in Takeru and Patamon so... I guess it’s okay 9_9

We then check in with Mimi! Who is being her awesome Mimi-tastic self. Ugh I love her.

Wondered what happened to Golemon. Turns out there was nothing much to worry about because no one loves a macho boxing match like Tachikawa Mimi. If there’s ever a season where these kids grow up, I hope Mimi is like, a big fan of sumo or something.

Taichi: O... kay... well... Mimi sure is... an intersting person...

Agumon: Hey you should make her your girlfriend!

Taichi: what nOOO BAD IDEA ABORT ABORT

Meanwhile, the situation with Jou is, um, questionable to say the least...

(how is keeping that towel on)

Jou: HEEEEELP!!!

Taichi: ... you didn’t hear anything, did you? Me neither. *closes link*

Finally we check in with Koushirou. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what he says. -__-;

At least we see him get bombed a bit. He’s okay though.

Meanwhile unconscious Patamon gets a visitor from baby angel Lopmon, who tells him about hist lost memories.

He adds that the other legendary warriors have lost their power and it’s up to Patamon and his bond with Takeru to save the world more or less.

He encourages Patamon to find his hope.

Patamon: Who am I? What am I? All before me is dark. I know not what path to take.

The others, having nothing better to do, peep on Patamon’s crisis of faith.

Takeru relates a story about learning to swim and being scared of the water, but Yamato stayed with him so eventually he was able to learn to do it. Aww. Not quite comparable to Hikari’s “I wet the bed and Taichi changed the sheets and then told our parents that he was the one that did it” from the 99 series but still pretty good.

The sweet moment is interrupted by a flash of light! Then dark! Then light! Then dark!

It’s another scary Digimon! Oh dear. It’s Kerberomon. A three-headed Cerberus as I’m sure you figured out. Once again, this show does not how to convey what the stakes are. After everything we’ve been through, it’s hard to take random nobody Digimon as serious as each episode wants us to take them... but it’s obvious from the build up here that Kerberomon’s going to be tough to beat for Reasons.

Greymon gets hit and says, “I let down my guard!” MAYBE DON’T DO THAT THEN

Also it is very windy.

Le ouch. This is the Digimon from earlier whose name I forgot to take down. He’s come back with his friend...

... Scarier-in-the-dark-mon.

They’re surrounded~ Oh noes and whatnot.

Taichi is a bit cool here, clinging to Komondomon’s helmet and directing the battle like a war general. Mostly he’s telling them how to avoid getting hit by Kerberomon’s powerful attacks but I like that we get to see him using his head like this.

What I think is happening here is, Komondomon isn’t as fast as the kids could be if they were on their own, so their speed is hampered and that plus the number of assailants makes this battle tough. I am sure we’re supposed to assume that the reason WarGreymon doesn’t appear is because it takes a lot of energy to bring him out, even though last time he appeared twice in the same episode -.-;

Sora decides to be useful and goes to help Takeru get to safety.

... She is immediately struck by an attack and collapses, badly hurt somehow. This is so dumb. First of all, they don’t even animate her getting hit. There’s a flash and then she’s down. She should at least get to throw herself over Takeru protectively or something. Geez. 90s anime did it so much better. She’s just standing there and gets hit. What, did she forget there was a battle raging around her?

Second, WE ALREADY HAD DAMSEL IN DISTRESS SORA. It was Jou’s motivation to be cool way back when this show was rather more interesting than it has been of late. Why do the boys need Sora to get SERIOUSLY INJURED to be able to fight?? WHY?? Like, Taichi gets caught in the line of fire ALL THE TIME, but he never gets injured to the point where he can’t continue on. (Except for that one time with Devimon but those were exceptional circumstances!)

Like, why are we making Sora so weak?? This is so unnecessary.

I guess Yamato was right by entrusting Takeru to Taichi instead of Sora though...

... Uhhh.... never mind X’D

Taichi: Whew... m-maybe no one saw that...

Our be-bibbed god reappears to offer sage advice.

Patamon recalls his final moments as Seraphimon... being enveloped into darkness.

This is cool - we see his angelic wings turn to demon ones briefly before he slides back to lower levels. Not sure if it means anything but we have been theorizing that Patamon could still be infected by the evil that wounded him in the past.

Patamon then recalls things that happened after he was reborn and I’m reminded for the billionth time how much harder the emotions around Angemon’s death hit in the 99 show...

Suddenly Patamon realizes - his hope is Takeru, and he is Takeru’s hope.

The boys put on their game faces. This is what I mean by Sora really didn’t need to get hurt here. I get that it gives Takeru a reason to be protective, but the thing that evolves Patamon is Patamon’s feelings, the same way Agumon’s feelings were what rescued them from Devimon etc. That’s an interesting thing about this show - the Digimon’s feelings seem as important to evolution as, if not more than, the kids’.

Patamon evolves!! Very creepily! But... not to Angemon!

He becomes Pegasusmon! Who... looks a lot bigger than I remember, even considering Takeru is very small... xD

So this is pretty cool! I’ve been wondering how on earth the show was gonna keep introducing evolutions after already using up so many key players, especially for Taichi. But it looks like Armor Digimon can appear, and that makes me think that we could see all kinds of evolutions for the entire team that we’ve never seen before. I like that idea, but I don’t really know if this show has time for it. Maybe it will just be Pegasusmon and Nefertimon who are available to Takeru and Hikari so the writers can preserve the angels for the most epic moments only. That seems the most likely way things will go here, and the only qualm I have with it is, they’ve played all of Taichi’s cards already, and he’s the main character. He has to have something else in the future...

He attac!!!!

Kerberomon doesn’t last long, although why is wholly inexplicable. What about Pegasusmon gives him the edge when MetalGreymon and Garudamon couldn’t handle it? Is it because he’s an Armor Digimon? That may be it but the show doesn’t bother to explain.

Another thing I’d love to see, if there are gonna be more than just one evolutionary tree for the partners, is the kids actually strategizing when they decide which evolution to use. One of the cool parts of Tamers was the kids actively supporting their partner with skill as well as heart. I don’t think that’s gonna happen in this season, but you know, a girl can dream.

Takeru: Hurray for murder!

The three Digimon work together to put the lid on Kerberomon. Garudamon has the coolest moment. Squash.

Taichi checks on Sora who seems fine now. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Aw, but these two really are adorable.

What a sweet ending card T_T I want more of these.

Okay so yeah, this episode was a much needed upper after the stream of “watch Taichi fight random forgettable monsters” episodes we’ve had lately. I’m glad we got it. I still, just, like, why can’t they get the emotional build up right?? I wouldn’t say 99 Adventure did anything insanely unusual in how it treated the various crises the kids faced, but it def did a better job than this show. In 99, they understood the importance of moments of reflection, of talking about things, of showing expressions and how other characters react... And I still feel like this reboot DID do that, at least somewhat better, in the beginning. Like what went down between Yamato and Taichi after Ogremon was killed. That was pretty good.

They’ve totally lost what makes Digimon great. I hope this episode is a sign that they’re gonna take it back, but, my heart just hearts y’all.

Next episode... I’m rather surprised since we are REALLY overdue some face time with Yamato, not to mention Mimi and Jou, but apparently we’re sticking with Taichi. At least it looks lke we’ll get some new plot stuff related to Hikari.

If this all leads up to something that makes sense, I will retract all my complaints, I swear. Except about the gratuitous nonstop fighting. But the rest, I will take back.

Taichi’s determined!! This is Digimon Adventure! Let’s go on a freaking adventure!!

#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #digimon #fizz watches digimon 2020

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 4 years

Text

i needed to lose you to love me (Bakugou Katsuki X Reader)

Summary: Bakugo sucks at apologizing, but knows that he owes you one. Big Time.

WARNING: THERE IS SOME MAAAAJOR AAAAANGST AND STRANGER THINGS 3 SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER. LIKE… MAJOR... I might have to actually make an alternate ending... sure I personally think this one has a happy ending too but... have ya’ll HEARD Selena Gomez’s new music video and song? It’s heartbreakingly beautiful but important about self-love so... here ya’ll go! Warning it’s also pretty lengthy... I also alluded to American Horror Story in here too.

Taglist: @i-love-bakugou, @soseoky, @random-username-101

The Long Awaited Part 2 of ‘Dump His Ass’ here: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/186316524474/dump-his-ass-bakugou-katsuki-x-reader

And Thank You All Might: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/186833600249/thank-you-all-might

If you haven’t seen Stranger Things 3 year and don’t want any spoilers… this one has HUGE spoilers so… read at your own risk…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlJDTxahav0

You promised the world and I fell for it... I put you first and you adored it

It’s been at least a couple of months and yet you found yourself still upset over the newfound sadness that plagued you as you put away an empty glass of water in the sink, sniffling a little bit. Unable to help but let some tears stream down your face as you could only think about what you had lost.

Why did it have to be him?

Yes, he was a huge jerk but he had a good side after all.

It wasn’t just you, many others had to see his nastier sides and witnessed him beat up some innocent people. And many, including yourself had thought there was no way such a jerk could ever have any sort of redeeming qualities, and the only good trait about him was that he was good-looking and badass.

He acted like he was so big and tough and bullied others just to show off his power, but even he had a soft spot that he buried deep down inside.

And you lost him.

Now all you could do was cry as you grabbed a tissue to wipe your face, not wanting to go to school upset over such a silly thing. Plus, you already embarrassed yourself in class not long ago by crying in front of everyone, so it was time to just get over it…

But you missed him…

“(Y/N)?” You nearly perked up as soon as you heard a familiar voice that belonged to the person you had been avoiding for the past months. Your ex-boyfriend…

Bakugou wasn’t a patient guy, and had been trying to bug you for the past couple of months but you stopped letting him and he had reluctantly put up with your silent treatment and cold shoulders. However, he couldn’t ignore your tears, he fucking HATED seeing you cry and he fucking HATED knowing that he was responsible for them…

Set fires to my forest And you let it burn...

He tried to get close to you, but you never let him, except this time he wasn’t going to let you just push him away. “Oy. What the fuck’s the matter…?” Despite his coarse language there was gentleness as he closed in towards you and looked you in the eyes.

“H-He’s gone…” You didn’t want to really see him, but you decided to just answer his question and his eyes slightly widened, “Who’s gone?” His concern grew when he thought that someone important to you might have died or disappeared.

“B-Billy… Billy’s gone… Hopper’s gone too… a-and so is Alexei…” You wiped your tears away with a napkin and swallowed hard to try and not get so emotional over the beloved characters you grew attached to.

But Bakugou could only blink in befuddlement, only for that to turn into pure and simmering annoyance, “Seriously?! Are you talking about the characters from that show?! I thought someone actually died!” He quickly shouted as you put your hand over your mouth to quell a snicker, as sad as you were over losing Billy, Hopper and Alexei, Bakugou’s anger was so amusing.

Yes you had been rewatching Stranger Things 3 ever since it came out because it was THAT good, you finally watched all of it with your friends and it was the BEST season thus far. Yet, it still didn’t cease to break your heart with the way it concluded this year.

“Yes… I am… oh yeah… Billy’s dead… and Alexei’s a new character that everyone fell in love with, Hopper’s also PROBABLY dead and Eleven… moved away from Hawkins can you believe it…?” With a small smirk you told him everything that you were sad about and you were actually really shocked to see his eyes go wide in the slightest bit of outrage as he yelled.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE THIRD SEASON! I haven’t seen it yet!”

“Well I wouldn’t have to tell you what happened if you had just sat your ASS DOWN that night and watched it with me.” It was your turn to be harsh as you used a sharper tone that almost scared your ex as he looked at you in shock. He was not used to this side of you at all because you were usually his cheerful if weird and kooky girlfriend.

Bakugou knew you could be tough, but being on the end of it was… scary to witness.

“Now you care about the show?” You chuckled and shook your head when you recalled all of the times when he mocked your taste in shows and repeatedly said that Stranger Things was unoriginal and stupid. Well, actually at first you were okay with it because that was okay and it wasn’t anything personal, but then he started mocking other things that you liked knowing that you liked them and then mocked you for liking them. Why did you put up with all of that?

Sang off-key in my chorus 'Cause it wasn't yours...

“Because you made me watch it! You’re the idiot that got me invested in that dumb show in the first place!”

“Okay, maybe I was a LITTLE bit pushy but… did it kill you to watch something with me every now and then you jerk?” You had calmed down a little bit, and instead put your hands up just to stop this pointless argument, much to Bakugou’s slight surprise as his scowl had lessened.

“You know what? Nevermind… I’m not going to argue about a freaking show… and I’m not gonna waste yours or my time… I forgot how much you value your time.” Shaking your head, you grabbed your bags to get ready to leave soon. Maybe you were giving Bakugou the guilt trip, but in your defense he called you fat and accused you of being lazy, and you were starting to realize that he didn’t give you a whole ton of respect during your relationship as he insulted things you liked, didn’t spend a lot of time with you, brushed you off when you tried to help him, blew you off at times and again, he called you fat. Something he swore that he would NEVER call you, and he broke that swear.

He treated you like garbage so now, like Max had said, it was time to treat HIM like garbage.

And so far the guilt-trip was working and Bakugou hated that it was. Every time you reminded him of the things he said, this knot in his chest would build and it would make him SO angry and yet so fucking guilty.

“Dammit (Y/N)… will you just listen? I know I said some stupid-shit but-“

Uh-uh, you didn’t want to hear it and you quickly put your fingers in your ears and started to sing, “Lalalalala~! I can’t hear you~! I respond to nothing Katsuki~!” You sang outloud and that just made the already frustrated Bakugou even madder, “CUT THAT OUT! (Y/N) YOU MORON STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING KID!!”

“I’m sorry? But I can’t understand you Katsuki… cuz you’re a human… and I’m a pig, remember? Pigs can’t understand humans… there’s a language barrier. Oink, oink.” Your eyes were wide in fake surprise which REALLY shocked but also REALLY infuriated your ex.

“Do NOT call yourself that! You’re not a pig! Come on I didn’t MEAN what I said all right?!” You couldn’t be serious; you couldn’t have taken his words to heart THAT much could you? He really hoped not, because it just made him regret what he said even more.

However, you weren’t listening to him and just continued to ignore him as you tried to walk away, but Bakugou wasn’t going to let you. He didn’t like this feeling, he didn’t like it at all…

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted

“Hey! Goddamn it (Y/N) stop ignoring me!” Bakugou wasn’t used to you ignoring him at all, because you always, always gave him your attention, sometimes a little too much but he got used to it. And he liked that...

“Katsuki, you SERIOUSLY hurt me… I’ve told you this… the damage is done… you know I had a hard time growing up because of that… and you and Izuku were the only ones who never called me things like that when everyone else did…” Your voice cracked yet again as you quickly turned away and walked away as fast as you could, not giving Bakugou the chance to try and reach out for you the second he thought you were going to cry again.

Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn

“Argh! (Y/N)!” Bakugou called your name, but his guilt kept him rooted to where he stood as he let you walk off. But his eyes slightly widened when Mina and Yaoyorozu had been around and came just in time to walk with you and give warning glances to Bakugou so he didn’t try to come over to you. Mina even made sure to glare at him as the girls put their hands on your shoulders as the three of you walked away and left your ex alone.

Again…

“Dammit…!” He exclaimed to himself with his fists clenched. God he really fucked up; his classmates were giving him the stink-eye and you probably hated him. He couldn’t have that.

Well, Bakugou still really didn’t give a shit about what the others thought about him, but maybe, just maybe he didn’t want you to hate him. Even if it was his own fault. The more he reflected on what he said to you, the worse he felt…

You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah...

8 HOURS LATER

You held back a yawn at the last class of the day, resisting the urge to go to sleep when Aizawa droned on and on about something you didn’t really care about. Well, it wasn’t that you were sad or anything, you were totally over everything that went down the last couple of days. Frankly, you had better things to think about and deal with than your dumb ex-boyfriend.

Like the new Zombieland! Now that you watched Stranger Things 3, it was time to get into something new. And you finished Big Mouth season 3 too so… you needed something else to focus on that wasn’t related to your ex or school. You giggled a little bit at the thought, maybe you should have been focused on studying for upcoming tests but at the same time it felt like everyone had been working too hard.

So the minute it was time to go you quickly went over to Izuku to see if you could drag him to the next showing.

“Hey ‘Zuku c’mere I got a plan…” You kinda grabbed his arm, making him jump a bit in surprise as he yelped a little bit. “A-Ah! Oh! H-Hey (Y/N)-chan… s-sure…” You thought he was so cute even though you two had been friends forever and he STILL got nervous whenever you touched him.

However, Bakugo didn’t find it cute AT ALL. Why the hell were you touching Deku?! What the hell were you doing with Deku?!

You didn’t notice this though as you just lulled him away to whisper, “Hey I’m like super hyped for the new Zombieland cuz it’s been getting some pretty good reviews despite the fact that it’s been like 10 years since the last one so… wanna go see it with me? I’m gonna invite some other fun people with me~.” It was a bit of a sudden, spontaneous idea but you thought ‘fuck it’ you wanted to go watch an awesome zombie movie with your friends and get school off your mind for a little bit.

Wasn’t that one of Columbus’s rules after all? Rule 32: Enjoy the little things. Yes you memorized some of the rules, some of them were good rules!

“Zombieland? Oh, that’s right! They made a sequel… sure…! I think that would be kind of nice…” Izuku wasn’t exactly a movie buff like you were but he liked spending time with you and watching movies or TV with you, and he liked the first Zombieland too.

“Great! Give ourselves a goddamn break ya know? I think we’re all kinda stressing out so yeah! Let’s go for it dude!” You gave him a big grin as he couldn’t help but blush quite madly, but he was happy that you seemed a bit happier as of late. Given the drama that occurred after you and Bakugou broke up and the mini depression you went through afterwards that lessened somewhat with the help of him, Shinsou and All-Might.

Did you still get sad? Of course. Depression and a low self-esteem don’t just go away, but your friends had been helping you through that, and you even still talked to All-Might whenever he and Izuku were training together or discussing something together.

“Actually that’s… not a bad idea at all. I suppose we have been a little busy lately...” He took note of what you were planning, and thought that a break could be good for him and his friends. “YEAH! Totally! I’m gonna invite Hitoshi! And Mina, and Tooru, and Denki, Fumikage, Yuga, Tsu, Momo, Eijirou, Hanta…” You listed off a few people you planned to invite since those were the ones you felt oddly closest to. It was a pretty big group but hey they could pay for their own tickets right? Besides the more the merrier!

“I think they’ll really like that (Y/N)-chan.” He thought outloud as the two of you walked out of the place together and headed towards the dorms, unaware that a furious Bakugou overheard EVERYTHING.

You were inviting THOSE losers to see a fucking movie but not him?! What the hell?! Now you were full-on ghosting him?!

That’s what it certainly felt like as he discreetly followed you and the damn nerd back to the dorms and you cheerfully skipped over to your room to get some good clothes on and get your things altogether so you could prepare for the upcoming time-slot at 6. You still had 2 hours but you liked to be ready before then.

And you quickly started to text to your friends.

‘Hey Toshi, let’s go see Zombieland 2! I hear it’s really good so lets go C it bro!’

You texted Shinsou first though since he was the other friend you considered your closest.

‘Sure. Liked the first one, looking forward to this one.’

He quickly texted you back and was certainly up for it as you grinned and decided to tease him just a little bit. ‘HOORAY! And it’s a movie made just for you!’

‘HAHAHA YOU’RE SO FUNNY’

His text was very sarcastic but just as playful as yours as you snickered a little bit before you started sending the other texts to your friends.

‘LET’S GO SEE ZOMBIELAND 2 YA’LL. We need break, let’s go laugh it up at the movies!’

Was the text you sent via group messaging to Mina, Hagakure, Kaminari, Tokoyami, Aoyama, Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu, Kirishima and Sero. And you were met with numerous replies.

‘YEAH! I LOVED THE FIRST ONE!!’

‘Oooh I’m so excited for the sequel!’

‘Oh yeah! Now that’s an idea (Y/N)! Let’s nut up or shut up!’

‘I will never turn down an offer to see a zombie movie.’

‘Yes~. The first one was amazing, the second will be just as good~.’

‘I did like the first one, I’d like to see the second one too so that sounds like it would be fun (Y/N)-chan.’

‘Oh that comedy horror movie? Sure! The first one you showed me was good!’

‘OH HELL YES! I love that movie! It’s a yes (Y/N)! Thank you! I’m so up for that!’

‘Sure! I freaking loved the first one, dunno how this one’ll do without Bill Murray tho.’

You snickered at someone of their replies, finding many of them cute and funny at the same time. Looks like you had a party to go see this movie with, and you couldn’t be happier. You really needed this, since the past months hadn’t been easy since you were admittedly still getting over Bakugou. And you thought about what All-Might said, how you had to believe that you were beautiful and that you deserved love.

Of course, you still had a hard time believing that because it wasn’t just something you could drill into yourself and expect it to stay there, but at the same time you made sure to keep reminding yourself that and set your inner saboteur at bay. While at the same time, trying to not let what Bakugou told you dictate how you saw yourself.

You loved Bakugou, you really did, but he was mean to you, even though you knew what you were getting into, it ended up hurting you more than you ever thought it would when he just kept saying things that hurt and got into arguments with you whenever you wanted him to just spend a little time with him. He hurt you, and it was something you couldn’t quite just let go of, even though you weren’t exactly upset at him anymore, part of you still was.

And the love you still had for him didn’t leave you, but you kind of hated him too for being such a jerk to you, to Izuku and to Shinsou too for that matter. You hated him and you hated all the terrible things he said to you, because his remarks made you realize that no, you didn’t deserve any of that. Sure, you knew that maybe he really did love you at one point, because he kept trying to apologize so that meant he had to have still loved you right?

Or was it just his pride trying to win you back so he didn’t feel like a loser? You weren’t so sure, but deep down you knew that he did love you and did it because maybe he did feel really bad for what he said.

Dammit you wanted to hate him, but dammit you fucking loved him too. And damn, dammit it wasn’t good for you. You couldn’t just take him back after all of that, but you would at least know that he wasn’t a bad guy, he did have a heart, and that he did love you, and you loved him too…

But you didn’t deserve to have him treat you the way you did either. You loved him, but you were learning how to love yourself too.

You sighed as you got in your clothes and got everything you’d need from your wallet to your purse as you left your room. Making your way to the common room to hang about until it was a good time to leave.

“So Zombieland 2 huh?” Shinsou surprised you by suddenly speaking and popping up right behind you as you let out a shriek and jumped. Dammit he really was like a cat after he started training more. Hell he was so good you didn’t even detect that he was there since he was like a ninja learning how to subdue any obvious aura that you could sense.

“Good God man you’re going to need to start wearing a bell or something!” You whined a little bit as he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at your expense and the light flush on your cheeks.

“But yes… Zombieland 2… Double Tap. What the fuck am I right? I looooves me some zombie movies! Add a little comedy to it and you get one hell of a flick!” However, you went from surprised to cheerful as you happily shook your firsts in giddy anticipation.

“Heh… yeah you got a point. The first one set the bar… might as well see if these guys still got it after 10 years…” He thought outloud as you gave him a nod and a thumbs up. “It was actually my first rated R movie.” Shinsou then decided to share as you perked up a bit with a gasp. “For reals?”

He smiled and nodded as a grin came to your lips, “Nice… that’s a good start to the world of R rated movies. I’ve been watching so many R rated movies at a young age I forgot my first one…” You KINDA bragged but you weren’t lying, you’d gotten into R rated movies at a pretty early age, but Shinsou was actually somewhat impressed as he gave you a smirk.

“Oh yeah? You’re not the only one… I just have a better memory.” And he kinda poked fun at you as you laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder. “I’ll give you that…” Still you decided to own up to that because yes, you didn’t have the best memory unless it came to movie lines, character quirks or memes.

“Well… it’s a good idea, and I’m into it so… I’ll just go put on something that’s… not my uniform.” Shinsou’s smile looked almost coy as he scratched the back of his neck as you smiled back at him, “Take your time, movie don’t start for another hour and a half.” You said as he gave you a polite wave that you happily returned.

Yeah, you couldn’t wait to see the movie now. Especially with Shinsou, Izuku and all the others, they were so great. Shinsou and Izuku were so great… Shinsou was great…

You couldn’t help but think as you made sure you had everything, and some candy you stored away and would sneak into the theaters as you put the treats into the secret pockets of your purse. However, you paused momentarily when you definitely felt someone else’s aura in the room, no one other than Bakugou’s. You knew what his aura felt like, it was always so vibrant, bright and almost hot whenever you came so close as you could always see it flickering and blazing. Only this time, it was subdued, akin to a small candle.

“So you’re going to see that movie huh?” There it was, his low, raspy voice that you had fallen in love as you turned to see him looking so oddly calm. Bakugou wasn’t known for being calm at all, and yet he was here looking strangely cool.

You had to admit, although you kinda wanted to still treat him like garbage you were starting to feel kind of guilty about it too. So you decided to be more civil this time as you smiled, “Let me guess… Denki and Eijirou told you?” You asked politely as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Duh. Those two don’t know how to keep their traps shut when they’re excited…”

Maybe you could invite him? You thought, sure he was probably going to turn it down but… no, it probably wasn’t a good idea.

“In their defense, it’s been 10 years since the last one showed. The actors are all kinda old now, and we’re interested to see if they still got that thing ya know? If they can hold a candle to the first one, not sure you remember it but it was hella funny.” You said with a smile, and Bakugou couldn’t help but feel somewhat at ease.

The smile was real and it’s been a LONG time since he’s gotten a smile from you, it almost hurt seeing you smile because he remembered the times when you and him were together, you were always smiling. But this time, you and him weren’t together, and yet you were smiling now. Of course, Bakugou wanted you to be happy, but were you happy without him…? He almost didn’t want that… he wanted to be the one to make you smile because he was never, EVER going to say the stupid shit he said ever again.

“I remember.” He said gently and you were KINDA freaking out, was this even the real Bakugou? You were a little concerned, but you knew you shouldn’t have been since the calm aura was still as orange and red as ever, the red drowning away the orange as you saw a flicker of pink in there. Was that love? Or was that guilt? It had to be guilt. You knew Bakugou at his most vulnerable, and you adored that side of him too, but things have been so awkward between you and him that you didn’t know what to do…

You sighed a little bit and nodded as you moved from the refrigerator to go and sit at the couch, “I always thought you were prettiest like this.” But you stopped before you could sit as you perked up at his sudden comment though, and you looked over at him in shock. Did he just say you were pretty?

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me

A chuckle left you, turning into a snicker as you shook your head and you saw more of your Bakugou when he narrowed his eyes at you in annoyance, “How so…? I’m… not really dressed up.”

“Well that’s why!” He raised his voice a bit, and you honestly smiled because now he was kinda back to being himself and being honest. However, he didn’t want to yell at you anymore or make you feel worse so he calmed himself down, “Just regular clothes, no make-up, messy hair… no fake, colorful shit, just your style.” Okay, now you couldn’t be so sure, but dammit he wasn’t lying, it was all in his aura, his tone, and the way he was moving closer to you.

He really was trying, wasn’t he? You wanted to forgive him, you really did, and you were still trying to but… you weren’t ready for that.

“Heh… you’ve got weird taste in girls Katsuki.” You were still self-deprecating, just like you had been in your relationship, but Bakugou always made you feel better about it, and told you that you WERE beautiful and how you never ceased to turn him on.

Only this time, the words he said to you came back, and the things you told yourself came back and reminded you that no, you couldn’t fall back into his arms. No matter how close he got as he slowly came behind you. “Stop saying shit about yourself like that… you’re beautiful…”

God you loved the warmth that radiated from his powerful physique as his arms came around you, a shudder going down your spine at the familiar feeling. No, no, no you weren’t going to fall back into his arms, dammit… you couldn’t…

It was a pleasurable torture when he put his arms around your plump waist as he caressed your sides, and gave you a gentle kiss to the side of your head. Hoping that you could forgive him as you didn’t resist his advances until you decided…

“No.”

You wanted to, but knew that you couldn’t right now as you grabbed his hands to pry them off of you, “No Katsuki, no, no…” Shaking your head, you were surprised that you managed to get his hands off you as you heard a low growl resonate in his throat as he gave you a soft glare, but he knew that… he couldn’t do anything because you said ‘no’. And Bakugou was taught very early on by his bitch mom that no meant no…

“Sorry I just… I don’t… I’m not... I can’t do that…” You shook your hand and raised a hand as you averted his gaze and instead you went back to go and maybe get other things from your room, but the truth was you just wanted to escape this awkwardness, it was too much for you. And frankly you were terrified of falling back into his arms again…

This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah...

Bakugou accepted that you said no but he was pissed off as he clenched his fists and trembled with hurt and rage. For a moment he almost thought you were doing this on purpose, and pushing him away for good. Why didn’t you forgive him? He apologized (a lot), he’d been trying so hard to apologize and take back everything he said to you.

Grinding his teeth, and barely holding it in, he angrily marched over to take out a minuscule of this fury on the nearby dishes on the table and shoved them off as they loudly shattered and cracked upon making impact with the floor.

“DAMMIT!!”

He finally shouted with all the pent-up frustration, his booming voice drowning out the shattering glass as you gasped and backed away in slight shock and fear at his sudden outburst.

"How fucking long are you going to punish me (Y/N)?! HOW FUCKING LONG?! ARE YOU REALLY STILL PISSED OFF OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED MONTHS AGO?!”

This reminded you of something you saw in a movie, he was so pissed and even yelling at you and honestly it did scare you, but Bakugou wouldn’t hurt you. Physically at least, you knew that much, but you weren’t going to back down

“Of COURSE, I’m still kind of pissed off! And for the record I am NOT punishing you, you narcissistic asshole, I’m TRYING to think about how I should forgive you for the things you swore to NEVER call me! Or if I even should forgive you! W-What? You want me to j-ju-ju-just… make out with you like its old times?!” You exclaimed with the same vexation that you had been keeping at bay ever since the two of you broke up, not seeing Bakugou’s narrowing eyes and shaking figure as he seethed when you once again, reminded him of the big mistake he made with you.

“I... I mean I... I can’t even look at your face Katsuki! Without… thinking about and hearing the words you said to me and the expression of anger and disgust on your face when you said that I was just some fat pig who was wasting your time!” Emotion nearly choked you up as you wiped your eyes when tears started to cloud them and you couldn’t see just how aggravated and distressed Bakugo was as he clutched his hair out of frustration.

“I FUCKED UP!! How many times do I have to say that I fucked up?! How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?!”

Throwing his hands up, he shouted that he had indeed screwed up, louder than before, frustrated with everything, with you, with himself, with the fucking guilt that just started eating away at him again.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me, yeah...

“You can say you’re sorry all you want! I just… I can’t ignore the fact that you would stoop so low to say the same things the people YOU protected me from would say to me. Why did you do that?” You had to ask, even though you were still mad as hell.

“ARGH! Dammit! I don’t fucking know! I was pissed off! I had shit I was dealing with and I took it out on you but I shouldn’t have! I admit it!” Bakugou wasn’t denying it anymore, he knew he royally screwed up and that he couldn’t use his anger as an excuse for it, but you still weren’t having it.

“Oh. Oh so that’s what I am huh? Something for you take it all out on? Well your bad temper is not an excuse Katsuki and I’m done listening to you use that as your excuse for almost everything… you can’t even put it aside to think about me or how that must have seriously hurt me. Did you ever even think about how I felt during those times? Did you ever stop to put yourself in my shoes? Did you ever feel awful and useless when you couldn’t make your partner happy? Or... d-did, did you ever dread going to school because people were going to comment about the way you look? Did you go home feeling horrible about yourself because people called you ugly and fat? Did you spend nights crying all by yourself, bored and alone and feeling like you were going to be alone for the rest of your life because everyone else made you feel so worthless? Did you ever feel like maybe it was your own fault? Did you ever think that you had to have been the worst partner ever because it seemed that no matter what you did, you couldn’t get your partner to spend time with you? Did you ever feel like maybe you really were worthless because you felt like you just couldn’t do anything right and then spend every day hating yourself?!”

You barraged him with all of these questions that broke his heart as he hated the emotions swimming in his furious crimson eyes but that’s not what you were talking about as you glared at him with hurt, darkening red aura barely visibly radiating from you. He couldn’t even say anything because deep down, he knew that he was probably one of those people now after you broke up with him because of what he said…

“I just… god… here’s my real question… why are you such a fucking asshole to me?” That’s the real question you wanted to ask him, and Bakugou couldn’t help but look shocked, confused but even more pissed off than before. He was an asshole to everyone, but you were hellbent on this little spat because of what he said, that was it wasn’t it? You were still mad because of something he said…

“For God’s sake I said I was sorry for what I said all right?! I’ve said it a million goddamn times! I’m SORRY (Y/N)! I didn’t mean what I said to you! I want to take it all back because it was the worst fucking thing I could have ever said to anyone! Especially you!” He shouted his apology, the angry tears threatening to spill but you shook your head at this.

“I’m not talking about what you said, I’m talking about everything! Ever since we got together you’ve still managed to treat me like shit! Even before we got together you still treated me like shit, and yet it got worse when we became a thing! You hardly spent anytime with me, pushed me away when I tried to help you, made fun of what I liked, insulted me and called me other names for what? Cuz I’m a geek like Izuku, cuz I like geeky things and like to watch TV and eat sweets and say dumb puns and hang out with Izuku and Hitoshi, well I’m sick of it Katsuki! I’m fucking sick of it!”

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me…

You didn’t realize the tears dripping down your chin, or the sudden wave of blue aura that your sadness triggered and emitted from your form and rushed towards anyone in the vicinity as Bakugou cringed as the tears automatically streamed down his face in response to your quirk. Damn your quirk… but he’d be lying if he said that it wasn’t just your quirk making him cry…

Neither of you noticed that some of your classmates Izuku, Shinsou, Kirishima and Hagakure instantly backed away from being seen by you or Bakugou. They heard the screaming, and they were hella uncomfortable as they gasped quietly when your quirk hit them and immediately brought tears to their eyes as Izuku and Kirishima covered their mouths as huge tears well and dripped down their faces and made them quietly cry. Shinsou shut his eyes tightly when he felt your quirk make unwanted tears pool in his eyes as he tried so hard to blink them away but couldn’t stop some from falling. Hagakure on the other hand whimpered and had to keep her mouth shut though the boys couldn’t see anything other than moisture streaming down her invisible face.

She didn’t focus on them though, instead she was just thanking the gods for making her invisible because hearing two people scream at each other was scary…

However, the screaming died down once Bakugou heard you out, and apparently everything else that became clearer to him the more you said it. He knew he wasn’t hardly a good boyfriend, aside from the more intimate times you and he shared but it couldn’t make up the bad times either. Hell, even he knew he was a pretty shitty boyfriend, but now he felt like he’d been a really shitty boyfriend after you finally said all of it. All the shitty things he’d done before and after your relationship…

You sighed, closing your eyes as you looked away from him and didn’t see the look on his face. Remorse, shame and subdued fury all etched throughout his features as he furiously wiped his face to get rid of the tears he couldn’t stop. He wanted to comfort you, but he was the one who hurt you, and now he was hurting too, all of the hurt that he caused you to feel.

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it...

“I’m just… I’m going to go now… sorry I just… I have to go…” But you didn’t want to be around him right now, you had a movie to go see with your friends. And the worst part is he was letting you, he wanted to follow you and just keep saying that yes, he was an asshole to you and that he just wants to take it all back so you could forgive him.

Dammit why the fuck wasn’t he moving?! Why the fuck wasn’t he saying anything?!

All Bakugou could do was stand there, stunned in silence and growling quietly, rubbing at his tearful eyes more harshly as he watched you go. No, he couldn’t just leave it like this, it couldn’t end like this right?

No it wasn’t, he couldn’t just let it end like this, but he couldn’t bother you right now, he knew that much at least no matter how much he just wanted to go with you so he could at least be close to you after spending these past few months alone.

Yet he’d be kind enough to let you go with your friends as you spent the next hour just preparing yourself and drying your tears so you could go to everyone and say that you were okay. But of course, you weren’t okay, they knew that all too well.

Even Shinsou and Izuku held their tongues when they were all leaving with the motley crew of classmates that often didn’t hang together but were nonetheless friendly with each other.

“Ya all right there girl?”

“Is there anything you need (Y/N)?”

“I’m okay… honestly guys.” Kaminari and Kirishima were the first to ask if you were okay. “He didn’t say anything mean again did he?” Kirishima made sure to ask about Bakugou though, sure he was practically his best friend but even he wasn’t standing by him after the things he said to you. What he said was NOT cool, did he give him emotional support? Definitely, he’s the one who even told him that he should apologize to you, but he was sad that it didn’t seem to work.

However, he knew you weren’t obligated to forgive Bakugou, no matter how much everyone wanted to see a happy ending for you both.

“No one would blame you if you didn’t forgive him (Y/N). What he said was pretty cruel given you guys’ history together.” Tsuyu spoke what she thought, but she at least hoped nobody would. Some might have thought you were being unreasonable and unforgiving but Tsuyu wasn’t going to blame you if you didn’t take him back.

“She’s right. Or at least… they shouldn’t blame you. Although… I at least hope the two of you can reach better terms…” Yaoyorozu had a BIT more compassion though and sincerely hoped the best for you both and you couldn’t help but smile because that’s exactly what you wanted to.

While you and Bakugou didn’t have a pleasant conversation, you did want to at least go back to him later and say that it’d be great if you and he could at least be friends.

“I do too Momo… thanks Tsu. Thanks you guys… I’m still working on the forgiveness part but for now… I do want to get on better terms with him at least.” You smiled sadly at your sympathetic friends who all gave their nods and smiles of agreement as they seemed to approve.

“The decision is yours (L/N). There’s no obligation for you to return.”

“Yeah like, if it wasn’t healthy then you shouldn’t go back to it… sure sometimes toxic relationships can be cleansed but… Bakugou’s got his own stuff to work on too.”

Despite their less than stellar grades in school, Tokoyami and Sero were wise in their own ways, as what they said made you feel better and it made a lot of sense. And you appreciated the hell out of them for that.

“That’s right!”

“Uh huh! We’re with you with whatever choice you make too!”

“Of course my friend~.”

And it helped when Mina, Hagakure and Aoyama backed you up by giving the same endless support they had been giving you for months as you couldn’t help but tear up and laugh. “Dammit you guys… thanks… but please… enough with the mushy stuff I don’t wanna get all emotional again…” Your amused tone earned smiles and small laughs from your dear friends as Shinsou and Izuku stood by you.

“Sure… you’ve probably had enough of that huh?” Shinsou knew it’s been an emotional roller coaster for you, and he was certain that you could only handle so much mushy gushiness. “Y-Yeah… but I appreciate it… shows how much ya’ll care about me.” You had to admit that though, you loved how much all of your friends had done so much to help you.

“Anything for you (Y/N)-chan.” Izuku gave you one of his sweet smiles that you found irresistible as you smiled back at him. Something about him always made you feel so cared for; he was a good guy. He and Shinsou were such good guys.

They made you remember to actually love yourself too. They certainly loved you, and the rest of your friends loved you too. And you were starting to love yourself a little bit more too.

“Wait! There’s like 10 of us! How are… are you paying for all of us…?”

You snickered and couldn’t be happier to hear Kaminari’s comical but logical question as it broke the ice and lightened the mood. “Oh actually I also invited Shouto!” And you suddenly announced that, grinning as soon as you saw the dual-haired boy coming your way with a small smile as he watched you wave.

“Hey Shouto~!” You greeted him cheerfully as he joined in with your group.

“Hello (L/N). Hello Midoriya.” He returned the greeting politely, still giving you one of those rare little smiles that you were happy to see.

“Todoroki! (Y/N)-chan invited you too?” Izuku was especially elated to see his friend there, albeit he was surprised since you waited til the last minute to invite the fire and ice user. “Yes. She showed me the first one last week, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Now I’m interested to see how this second one will go.” Todoroki’s been slowly converted to your way of pop culture as you introduced him to several films like Disney and Marvel, but especially classic old movies like The Breakfast Club, Jennifer’s Body and Zombieland of course.

“Yeah you go bro! That’s my dude!” You were ecstatic that he was willing to come along though, and it showed. “Besides… I was able to take 10000 yen from my old man’s wallet so everything is on me.” His smile turned into a small smirk as you gasped and laughed, clapping your hands happily.

“YES! That’s my Shouto! Rebelling against daddy~!!”

Okay, maybe you kinda gave him that idea since you didn’t have a lot of money yourself, but Todoroki did, and he was more than happy to pay for you and his friends especially since it was so accessible thanks to his bitch father.

“All right~! Let’s go~!!” You exclaimed cheerfully, throwing a fist in the air as you lit up a bright, cheerful pink aura that radiated throughout your friends which made them all perk up a bit as they felt your happiness and were just as excited as you were now.

“YEAH!”

“ZOMBIELAND~!!”

“WHOO-HOO! DOUBLE TAP!!”

“CARDIO~!”

Kirishima, Mina, Sero and Kaminari were especially excited as they were your more extroverted friends, but everyone was smiling along with you as they gladly followed you to the movie theater to see this long-awaited sequel of the first beloved movie.

Everyone was happy. You were happy too, you were especially happy now despite what happened with you and Bakugou.

The same unfortunately could not be said for Bakugou, who was far from happy, but he was glad that you were at least happy. He just wishes that he could have been happy with you, and that he could make you happy.

But he didn’t make you happy anymore.

2 HOURS LATER

“That was fucking INCREDIBLE!!” You exited the theater EXTREMELY happy and almost wishing the movie didn’t end because Zombieland 2 was THAT good a movie and you were SO happy that you got to see it with all your friends. You SWORE you heard Todoroki laugh too, so that was something you were never forgetting.

“I KNOW! HA! Not bad for 10 years later!”

“I freaking loved Madison!”

“I did too! She was the funniest one!”

“Oh yeah, she was pretty much the best part of the movie.”

“Hell yeah! She was really sweet too, I liked her! She was tons of fun!”

Naturally, the Bakusquad (plus Hagakure) was as cheerful as ever as they all loved the movie they just saw, and were extremely happy that they took up your offer today, because it was money well spent. Well, Todoroki’s money but still!

He thought so too, he rather liked the sequel and found it amusing, he actually smiled and tried to not laugh at some of the dumber things that Madison girl said during the movie. “I agree, it was… amusing. I see why you go here often (Y/N).” Todoroki made sure to compliment you though, he wasn’t the best with emotions but he knew you had been kinda unhappy lately so he tried to be kinder to you.

“Thanks Shouto! I know right?! It was AWESOME! I’m SO glad I decided to just come over here~. It gets an A+ from me~.”

“One of the rare moments where the sequel is just as good as the first movie, if not better.” Tokoyami even pointed out something you highly agreed with because it was THAT good. “Exactly! You don’t get that with every movie… sequels tend to suck…”

“The new additions were good ones too, sometimes adding new characters is actually what kills the movie. Not for this one.” And Tsuyu gave her input that almost everyone here agreed with, but couldn’t choose a new favorite.

“My favorite is that Madison girl~. She knew how to dress and be the cute one~.” Aoyama had his favorite, but everyone near unanimously agreed that she was the funniest one. “But she knew how to survive too for all those years.” But Yaoyorozu pointed out that despite Madison being a cliché dumb blonde character that she STILL survived the zombie apocalypse by herself.

“An excellent point Momo! She ain’t that stupid…” You giggled a little bit alongside your best guyfriends Shinsou and Izuku. “No she was actually… oddly smart… kinda like you.” But Shinsou poked a bit of fun at you as you laughed and slapped him on his shoulder playfully. “SHUT UP TOSHI! NO… I’m not that thick I’m smart too!” You exclaimed but cheerfully as he tried his hardest to not snicker or grin at you.

“You are smart (Y/N)-chan… coming here to see this movie was smart, I liked it, I liked it a lot! It was actually better than the first one.” Izuku was the sweetheart though as he gave you a bit of a sweeter compliment, much to Shinsou’s slight annoyance.

“Thank you Izuku~.” You sang-songed cheerfully as you beamed at the blushing boy who instantly turned bashful at your smile, much to MORE of Shinsou’s annoyance. Always trying to be the ball of sunshine that guy…

However, all that mattered is that you were ecstatic and everyone else clearly had a good time and loved the hell out of the movie. And you were smiling again, Shinsou hadn’t seen you smile as much as normal so seeing you smile the way you were was very nice.

You were smiling the entire time you went back to the dorms, just laughing with your friends and re-quoting the funnier lines from the movie and discussing some of the funniest parts until all of you had to go your separate ways and return to your rooms. Especially when other classmates came into view, you didn’t wanna spoil it for anyone after all.

“Hehe… well guys I think I’m just gonna stay up a couple of more hours and go to sleep or at least try to.” You said to your friends as they each smiled and nodded before they all said ‘okay!’ ‘sure’ and ‘that’s a good idea, good night to you (Y/N)’ and you made sure to happily return the polite ‘good night’ back to them.

Now it was just you and Izuku and Shinsou, you were still just happily chatting to them, but that’s when Bakugou decided enough was enough. He heard all of the other idiots just laughing and talking about a movie he hadn’t seen it yet and now some of it was fucking spoiled for him but that’s not what mattered right now. What mattered is that he didn’t like the way he left things with you a couple of hours ago, and now he had to talk to you again.

“I’m telling you, I could totally make Zombie kill of the week if we were in the Zombie apocalypse.” You were trying to brag to Izuku and Shinsou who were just chuckling at your enthusiasm.

“That would require some elaborate way of killing them, some people get really creative with that…”

“Oh yeah? You don’t even know how to use some weapons (Y/N)…”

Izuku had more hope in you, Shinsou was just playing with you though and God Bakugou fucking hated it, especially when you laughed with them.

“Oi. Deku, Eyebags, get the fuck out of here.” Before you could reply Bakugou suddenly made his appearance and immediately told the two guys to get out, “Ah! K-Kacchan I uh…” Izuku knew how jealous Bakugou could get though and his first instinct was to try and reassure him that he wasn’t trying anything with you or anything.

“Beat it you damn nerd!” But Bakugou didn’t wanna hear him and a very scared Izuku quickly rushed out with a very frightened ‘Okay!’ as your smile instantly turned into a frown as he forced your friend out, but Shinsou wasn’t budging at least.

“Get lost Eye-bags, I need to talk to (Y/N). ALONE.” He roughly demanded the brainwasher to leave, but Shinsou had his arms crossed and stood where he was.

“I’ll go when I want to.” He shook his head and refused to leave even though Bakugou was only getting madder when Shinsou dared to tell him ‘no’, but you didn’t want there to be a fight so you raised your hand.

Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus...

“It’s okay Hitoshi… you don’t wanna be here… me and Katsuki DO have to talk and I’d rather you not be around to see it so… it’s okay…” You gently convinced him to leave you and your ex be for the time being and although reluctant, Shinsou sighed and complied. He knew you knew what you were doing so he got up to go, not before whispering a ‘see ya later’ as he left and he and Bakugou exchanged glares as he walked away.

You didn’t approve of how he just broke you and your friends up from a fun conversation, but you supposed that this had to be done since you and he didn’t really leave on a good note earlier today, or this morning.

No more fighting. You were done with it, you just wanted to stop fighting with him.

Except… it was easier said than done. The two of you stood in the living room for what felt like forever because none of you could find the words to say and it was beyond uncomfortable. “So… did… Kirishima and Kaminari already spoil the movie for you?” You decided to ask a lighthearted question and Bakugou ALMOST snickered.

“Yes… I’m going to kill those morons…” He didn’t really mean it but he knew how much you enjoyed those two movies and he really, just really wanted to see it with you since he loved seeing the first one with you even though back then he pretended like he thought it was stupid. But no, he liked it, and now some of it was spoiled for him. Maybe he’d go see it with you again since he knew you never minded seeing another movie twice.

“Hehe… well… it was good so… if you ever feel like seeing it, I recommend it.” You said gently with a little smile as Bakugou leered at you.

“What I want… is to just say I’m sorry for… being such a fucking asshole to you, for being the worst fucking boyfriend and… everything… I’m... I’m sorry (Y/N)... I’m so fucking sorry everything, I can’t say how sorry I am...” Bakugou shamefully blushed as he apologized to you because he was never good at doing that. Hell, he very rarely said the word ‘sorry’ at all, but lately he’d been using that more and more when it came to you after he realized just how terrible a boyfriend and friend he had been to you.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

You were shocked but also touched that he was doing this for you, you knew how hard it was for him to apologize so you were touched and kind of happy. “Thanks Katsuki… it’s… okay… I think I’ve been mad at you long enough so… it’s okay… we’re okay.” You gave him a smile that actually gave him hope as his eyes slowly widened.

“We are…?” Bakugou asked you somewhat nervously, because he started to see some doubt in your eyes as you sighed, “Yes… we are okay but… not… in the way you think…” His heart was racing, but it wasn’t from excitement because you didn’t look like you were happy.

“Look… Katsuki… I mean you no ill will. I still care about you, and I still love you but… I really, really don’t think you’re a good boyfriend…” You said a little bluntly but made your voice soften as he gasped quietly.

“You’re not a bad person… but you’re not a good boyfriend either… and I don’t really think that I can really return to a relationship like that… sorry…” Sighing heavily you finally did it, you told him that you didn’t want to go back to the relationship but seeing his expression broke your heart.

“I know I wasn’t! But… look just… dammit (Y/N) I’m not going to say any of that shit to you ever again! I won’t fuck up like I did last time I swear!” He sounded desperate, as if he was pleading to you as he moved closer and you fought the tears starting to build in your eyes when he grabbed your hands. He would beg if he had to, he just couldn’t lose you.

“I love you.”

He said calmly and yet sincerely, out of pure impulse but that’s what he truly meant. He loved you and he just wanted to hear you say the words back to him. He knew you did…

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me...

“See that’s just it… I know you love me… I love you too… but… I thought you loving me was enough, at least… until… you said the things you did… now I know you’re sorry... and I don’t doubt that you do love me but… I started hating myself again when you said those things and it made me realize that... I need to love me too, I need to start loving myself… and I didn’t love myself when I was with you. I let you do that for me, and… I can’t do that anymore. It’s not fair to you, and not good for me.” You loved him, you truly did love him but at the same time you needed to give yourself time before you could go back into a relationship, especially with him.

Bakugou was an extremely flawed person and although he was honest and you believed every word he said, you didn’t think it was a good time to go back to him.

And he knew it, but it didn’t stop the tears from coming but he stubbornly willed them back as he swallowed hard. He tried so hard and he wasn’t giving up yet, but he knew that you didn’t want to get back together with him. Worse, he made you hate yourself for a moment because of what he said and what he had done to you too, so… maybe you were better off without him. He’d rather you love yourself first because you were the best thing he’d ever had.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah

“Fine then…” He tried to sound bitter, but he was just miserable and he did understand even if he was really hurt right now and knew that this was nobody’s fault but his. “I don’t fucking deserve you anyway… you’re… too good for me…” Bakugou muttered as he forced back all the emotion until he felt you kiss him suddenly on the cheek, making him gasp a bit.

“It’s okay… we all make mistakes. We’re human, that’s what we do. So… don’t beat yourself up.” You said to reassure him although it didn’t make him feel any better as he pulled you into a sudden, tight hug as you closed your tearful eyes and hugged him back, feeling his tears on your shoulder as your arms tightened around him so you and he could savor each other’s warmth just one more time

Neither of you truly wanted to pull away, it was almost too painful but you knew that it was for the best. You had started learning how to love yourself more, and you had to put yourself first more, and he knew that. And Bakugou also knew that he needed to work on himself too, and maybe he’d be a better boyfriend to you someday.

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah..

“Good night Katsuki.” You said quietly to him as you pulled away with misty (E/C) eyes as he glumly looked at you, cupping his cheeks to wipe the tears away from his red eyes.

“Good night (Y/N).” He said as calmly as possible, and refused to cry in front of you (again) as he watched you slowly walk away. The two of you shared a small wave before you turned away, inhaling and exhaling deeply as you walked away for good.

You and Bakugou would at least be friends, and that was good enough for both you and him, even if he did rush over to his room to sob into his bed afterwards now that he had officially lost you.

He loved you, he still loved you...

You loved him too, you still loved him, but you needed to love yourself too. Even if it meant losing him.

And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us...

1K notes · View notes

blushie14 · 4 years

Text

Scaredy Cats [Skephalo]

So, this will be interesting, heh. The two are gonna watch a horror film in this one. I basically summarized/created the "horror film" in this story -w-. Heads up, there will be small mentions of gore during the "film." I swear after that it's not that bad. o-o (Or is it? I honestly don't know. Enjoy :P)

"...No."

"Aw, come on!" Zak whined.

"No! I'm not doing this! I refuse!"

The two of them have been bickering about this for more than a few minutes now. It all started when Darryl visited Zak for today. It was a long, but fun day.

They did a lot of random things together. They played a few games, including a bit of Minecraft. They challenged each other to do dumb things, even placing bets. They also decided to cook something together, which started off serious until... let's just say that a lot of food has been wasted today.

Time flew by, and the both of them didn't realize it was already dark out. Zak really enjoyed the other's company and didn't want him to leave. In fact, he asked him if he wanted to stay and have a movie night.

Now, Darryl definitely has no problem with watching a movie with Zak. He also had no problem with staying over (Zak kept insisting). The real problem was that Zak chose a horror film. A horror film!

"But Darryllllll!" Zak continued to protest.

"No buts!" Darryl started to whine. "You know how much I hate scary things!"

"Oh come on!" Zak put on a frown, starting to fake cry. "Do you not wanna watch a movie with me?"

Zak of course got him wrapped around his finger. Darryl stuttered and tried to reason with him. "I- No! Look I-I want to watch a movie with you! Can you please pick something else?"

"But.. I wanna watch this one.." Zak held the movie case with the creepy looking cover in front of him, looking at Darryl with pleading eyes. A few seconds of silence passed before Darryl gave in.

"Okay, we can watch this one." Zak perked up and started to prepare everything while Darryl was already feeling uncertain about this. "Do you promise that this movie isn't that horrifying?"

Zak raised an eyebrow as he started to microwave some popcorn. "Hmm, I don't know. I haven't watched it yet."

"You what?!" Darryl's eyes widened. His uncertainty was starting to turn into full on regret. He sat on the couch putting his hands on his face, and groaned.

"Oh my goodness, this is such a bad idea.." He heard low rumbling thunder outside and let out wince. "Did we have to watch this during a dark and stormy night?!"

Zak put the popcorn and some other snacks on the table. "Yes! This makes it so much better!"

"That doesn't make it better! This makes it even worse!"

"Darryl, it's not even raining that hard yet. Come on, I bet that the movie isn't going to be that scary! This is gonna be so much fun!" He smiled as he finished setting everything up, and sat next to Darryl. "Now do you wanna watch the movie or not?"

Darryl pouted, being a little indecisive. He wouldn't want to, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad watching it with Zak. It might be a little fun.. He sighed. "Fine... but we're keeping the lights on!"

Zak giggled at him. "You're no fun."

Darryl immediately got defensive. "Hey! I'm just saying that.. that much darkness isn't.. healthy."

"Okay, how about this? I turn off the living room lights, but I'll get one small lamp so that we won't be completely surrounded in darkness."

He paused a moment before sighing again. He nodded. "I guess that's good enough."

As it was lightly starting to drizzle outside, the two boys got themselves comfortable. There was a small desk lamp set up on the floor, dimly lighting up the living room. The movie started, opening with eerie yet depressing piano music.

The overall mood of it all started off as depressing. As the title sequence started, a single car was driving down a long road. While listing the cast and production members, a family is seen in the car. The family consists of a single father and two teenage daughters. None of them were smiling.

Zak glanced at Darryl for a moment and then completely turned to look at him and groaned. "Dude, seriously?! Stop trying to hide!"

Darryl had his face planted on a small pillow from the couch. He didn't budge as his muffled voice spoke up. "You didn't say I couldn't hide my face."

"The movie hasn't even-!" He stopped, facepalming in disbelief. "Don't hurt my brain! We've literally just started! When has something scary ever happened right at the start?!"

Darryl looked up, slightly embarrassed as his voice got a tad higher in response. "I- I don't know! You never know, okay?!" He squishes the pillow tighter, nervous laughter pouring out. "I don't like this at all Zak."

Zak lightly giggled and scooted closer to him. "Come on, we got this. We are not gonna be scared because of some stupid movie, okay? We are ducks, not chickens."

Darryl couldn't help but smile a tiny bit, becoming a little more relaxed. "You're the duck, you muffin top."

- .

It turns out the story started off a bit more melancholic as the two of them expected. The family moved into a new house because of their mother mysteriously disappearing. The father wasn't able to support the family and the house on his own.

Admittedly, Darryl did get drawn into the lore. The two sisters were comforting each other, obviously distraught over their situation and were nearly convinced that their mother was dead. They were looking for ways to either find her, or communicate with her.

Darryl was distracted when they took out many creepy looking books to help them, which gave Zak the opportunity to scare him. He slowly and quietly leaned into Darryl's ear, and blew.

"WHAT THE MUFFIN!?" Darryl screamed and spazzed out as the sudden gust of air sent tingles down his spine. He looked at Zak laughing his head off. Fear quickly turned into anger.

"YOU LITTLE-" He let out incoherent noises, lightly slapping Zak's arm a tiny bit. "DON'T. DO THAT!"

Zak took deep breaths as he calmed down from his laughter, still giggling a bit. "I'm sorry! I'm so so so sorry!"

Darryl pouted in order to keep a smile from creeping up to his face. He huffed and turned to look at the screen, crossing his arms. "No! That wasn't funny!"

Zak snickered as he hugged Darryl's arm. "It was kind of funny!" Darryl felt his cheeks heat up as a small smile eventually appeared on his face. He couldn't stay mad at him for long.

- . .

Things were now starting to get eerie. After the girls performed a ritual they found in one of their books in hopes to bring their mother back, they went to bed and woke up to find that their mother came back.

The two girls and their father were so happy that she came back, but the two boys who were watching felt that something wasn't right. She was overjoyed when she greeted them, but acted like she wasn't even gone for a couple months.

In fact, she was aggressively dismissive about it. It was unsettling to say the least. "All that matters is that I'm here now... right?" The father was really worried about this, but the two daughters figured that their mother's behavior was a side effect from the ritual they performed.

A little later in the movie, one of the sisters began to hear a strange voice. It was coming from her mother's door. Whatever that voice was, it was very deep, menacing, and didn't sound like it belonged to a person. Suspenseful music started to play as the girl slowly reached for the door knob as the voice became louder.

Darryl felt Zak shrink into his seat as both of them were practically preparing for a jump scare. Zak groaned. "You think that if anyone heard noises like that they would just run out of the house, right!?"

The door opened and the music stopped as the girl sees nothing. Zak stared intensely at the screen, and Darryl took the opportunity to spook him back. His hands quickly touched his shoulder and let out a small scream.

"jESUS Christ!" Zak jumped, and put a hand to his face before laughing a little. "You're not funny, Darryl!" Darryl only let out squeaky giggles in response, both of them looking back at the screen.

The timing couldn't get any better as a disfigured looking face resembling her mother popped up in front of her, letting out an ear piercing shriek.

Darryl let out a startled shriek, suddenly clinging onto to the smaller boy. Zak did the same, wrapping his arms around Darryl as he screamed as well. The girl sat up from her bed and screamed until she realized that it was a nightmare.

"OH MY GOD!" Zak shrieked out, letting go of Darryl. "WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!" Darryl still had his arms around Zak, and wrapped him into a closer hug. He sat in silence for a moment until his quivering voice spoke up

"Oh my goodness. I'm just gonna... keep you like this for a while, o-okay?" Zak felt a warm blush appearing on his face and smiled, saying a soft "okay.." He hugged his scared muffin in return, both of them feeling a little calmer.

- . . .

Zak was on the edge of his seat while Darryl was wrapped like a burrito in blankets. They were near the end as everything was going horrifically wrong. The two sisters were desperately trying to escape the house as they figured out that their mother was a demon in disguise.

"YOU IDIOT DON'T JUST STAND THERE! RUN!" Zak shouted, as one of the girls started to cry in front of the twisted looking version of her mom. The movie switched into the girl's perspective. She was looking at the creature's hand, holding her father's decapitated head.

The tall demon screeched as she quickly scurried towards the girl, bones crunching with every movement she made. Her long neck twisted around as she gave a sinister grin and kept crawling. "HOLY SHIT!" Zak shrieked out as Darryl stares in horror, too terrified to call out on the other's language.

The movie switched into third person again as the demon's long and sharp fingers grabbed onto the girl's face, dangerously close to her eyes. Darryl quickly pulled the blankets over his face. He couldn't look.

He didn't dare look up as he heard the girl's bloodcurdling scream along with a sickening crunch, with a squelch. Zak on the other hand, was so shocked that couldn't take his eyes off the screen. He didn't say a word as he hugged Darryl, reminding them both that this wasn't real.

- . . . =

The movie ended with one of the girls escaping, and the credits rolled. "Oh my goodness.. it's finally over." Darryl let out a sigh of relief while Zak nervously laughed to lighten up the mood. "This movie wasn't ...that bad."

Darryl poked his head out of the covers and pouted. "What no! This movie was awful, I hated it. Never again!"

Zak giggled in response. "But it was a good horror movie!"

"Yes, and that's why I hated it! It was so scary.."

"It wasn't THAT scary."

"Yeah right! It was so scary! You were screaming so loud that your neighbors probably heard you!"

Before Zak could argue back, a bright flash of lightning along with a loud boom of roaring thunder happened. The hairs on the back of their neck immediately raised up, Darryl letting out a startled yelp as Zak practically could've jumped out of his own skin.

Suddenly the TV turned off. The small lamp that was dimly illuminating the room shut off. They both sat in complete darkness, coming to a chilling realization.

This was a blackout.

- . . . =)

Darryl was shaky. Normally being in the dark wouldn't be that much of big deal, but he was already starting to get paranoid. "Oh my goodness Zak I can't s-see anything.."

Zak tried to shake the feeling that he was secretly freaked out too. They both knew the fact that they just finished watching a horror film made this situation a hundred times worse.

"Okay, calm down. I'm going to look around the house so that we can find something like.. I don't know, a flashlight." Zak turned on his phone and cursed to himself when his phone was a little low on battery. "Here, I'll even let you hold this."

Darryl held Zak's phone and turned on its flashlight. The rain was coming down hard as more thunder was heard. They both stood up until they suddenly a loud crash was heard from the kitchen, freaking out the both of them.

Zak mumbled "oh my god" repeatedly while Darryl clung on to his arm. "What was that? Zak?! What was that?!"

"I don't know. I don't know. I'm actually getting sacred. I don't know."

Darryl's heart raced, trying to calm down. "It.. sounded like something heavy fell in the kitchen. Should we check it out?"

Zak was hesitant in checking the kitchen out, but he needed to go there anyways. What if there was something useful in the kitchen cabinets? "Okay, lets go."

Darryl slowly walked towards the kitchen with Zak following closely behind. He froze and swore his heart stopped when he saw something on the kitchen floor. "Zak, w-what is..?" He pointed at it, and Zak also felt his heart stop for a moment.

There was a huge mess on the floor. A smeared, watery, red mess on the floor. Before anyone could jump to any conclusions, Zak leaned closer to get a better look at it, and glad that he did.

"It's just the tomato sauce from earlier." He looked at the huge pot on the floor, stood up, and sighed. "How did that ended up falling? I thought I put it away"

Darryl shook his head and replied with urgency. "Nevermind that. Let's just search for a source of light, okay? Your phone is starting to die."

The two of them searched the drawers and cabinets. The most useful things they could find were batteries and a single lighter. Zak groaned as they couldn't find anything else. "I guess we also have to look in.. the basement."

Darryl gulped. "The basement?" Zak opened the door to the basement and froze. It's so dark, nobody can see a thing. "Why do basements always have to be so creepy?!" Zak thought to himself.

Zak pushed Darryl forward, mostly joking about it but also a little scared to go down there. "Hey! No! Zak don't you dare! I'm not going in!"

Zak laughed a little but also begged him to go down there. "You're the one with the flashlight! You go first!"

"No! I don't wanna go down there!" He handed Zak his phone back.

"Okay fine! I'll go down there.. by myself." Zak started to walk forward trying not to be intimidated by the darkness.

"Waitwaitwait." Darryl suddenly hugged Zak from behind. "Let me go with you."

Zak laughed and turned around. "What the heck?! Make up your mind!"

Darryl whined. "I'm sorry! I don't wanna be left alone!" He paused, looking away as his face turned pink. "I also didn't want to leave you down there too, you fatty."

Zak lightly giggled, already feeling less scared. "Alright, here." Zak grabbed Darryl's hand and smiled. "I'll lead the way, so that way I can protect you."

They both walked down the stairs as Darryl pouted. "What? No, I will protect you."

"No way, I'm the one who will do all the protecting."

"No you won't, I will!"

The stairs creaked as they made it to the basement. There were many boxed stacked against one another. A chill went down Darryl's spine. It was pretty cold in here. Zak already started to look through a bunch of boxes.

"I know that there has to be a flashlight somewhere. Let's keep looking."

Darryl opened up a box and searched through it, trying to adjust to the dark as Zak had the flashlight. He gasped as he found candles. "This could be useful!" He thought. He was about to tell Zak what he found, until he heard something.

He turned around, and felt his blood run cold. He saw something in the corner of his eye slipped through a few boxes. A figure that looked white...

Darryl frantically started to talk. "Zak we need to go! Now!" Zak looked up, alert and confused. "What? What's wrong?"

"I-I saw something! Something white that went in between the boxes! Something white!"

Zak gulped. He knows that Darryl wouldn't make that kind of joke, but he desperately wanted it to be a joke. "Darryl p-please no- don't do this. Not now."

Darryl's voice only became desperate. "I'm being serious Zak we need to leave!"

Just their luck, Zak's phone battery became too low and the flashlight turned off. They could hardly see each other. As if the situation couldn't get any creepier, they heard rustling somewhere in the pile of boxes. Were they even alone?

The rustling suddenly became louder. Whatever was making that sound was getting closer as boxes started to fall over.

"Y-You know what, you're right. Forget the lights, let's just go. GO!" They both ran for the stairs until Zak shrieked. A lot of boxes just fell on top of him, knocking him to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, Zak!?" Darryl lifted a few boxes away. "Are you okay?! Za-" He stopped talking when he saw him, surprised to say the least.

"ROCCO?!" Zak shouted in bewilderment. The two stared at the dog at a lost for words. Rocco was on top of Zak as he started to lick his face. He was slightly covered in... tomato sauce.

That was when Darryl started to put two and two together. Rocco knocked over the tomato sauce in the kitchen. Rocco was the white thing he saw in the corner of his eye. Rocco was the one that knocked over the boxes.

Rocco was behind everything this entire time.

Darryl broke out a grin, letting out a laugh of disbelief as his anxiousness faded away. "Zak, I think your dog has been the one scaring us."

Zak lightly grabbed his dog's head, taking a closer look at him. A look of realization hits and he laughed when he saw the mess on his dog. "You have got to be kidding me! What?!"

Darryl giggled and kneeled down to pet Rocco. "He's such a good boy yesh he is!" As Zak tried to stand up he felt something on the floor and gasped. "Dude! A flashlight!"

"Oh my goodness, really?" Darryl beamed. The battery compartment was open, but empty. Zak grabbed the batteries in his pocket and put them in his flashlight. It worked, brightening up most of the basement.

Darryl let out a little "yay!" and clapped a little. Zak looked like he could breathe at last. "Oh my god I can finally see!" They both stood up and looked at Rocco. Darryl smiled sheepishly. "Aww, maybe we should clean him up a little."

Zak brought his dog out of the basement while Darryl held the box of candles he found and the flashlight. While Zak was giving Rocco a bath, Darryl decided that he would clean up the tomato sauce in the kitchen. It took longer than expected, being that Zak had the flashlight while Darryl was slightly in the dark, but he didn't mind.

Darryl finished up and went to check on Zak. He just finished up cleaning Rocco and was trying to dry him up as much as he can with a towel. "Stupid blackout won't let me use the stupid hair dryer." Zak pouted.

Darryl lightly laughed at his childish muffin. "Here, lemme help." He grabbed another towel to help dry Rocco's fur. They made some progress as Rocco was almost completely dried up. Darryl got an idea.

"Ooh! Zak, what if we put Rocco in one of your hoodies?"

He gave a confused look and laughed. "What, why?"

"Because it would be adorable! He would be all snugly in a hoodie!"

Zak chuckled. He did like the idea of it. "Okay. I'll finish up here. I'm sure you can find a hoodie in my room, so take the flashlight."

Darryl was hesitant to take the flashlight. "You sure you'll be fine without any lights?"

"Yeah I'm fine! Besides, it was your idea. Plus, I got my doggo!" Zak smiled while hugging his dog.

Darryl smiled back at the two being cute. "Alright then."

Darryl went to Zak's room with the flashlight and searched in his closet. As he searched, he eventually found a Skeppy hoodie. "Perfect!" He went out to see that Zak and Rocco weren't in the bathroom anymore. "Zak? Where'd you go?"

"Over here!" Zak's voice was coming from the living room. He walked over there and took a moment to observe the atmosphere.

The room was dimly lit with small candles placed around. It was still raining outside, but the storm seemed to have calmed down. Rocco and Zak were on the couch with a lantern next to him. Darryl sat right next to him and smiled when Zak wrapped a blanket around him.

"Where did you get that lantern?" He handed the hoodie over to Zak.

"It was in the box of candles you found. I figured I could use it too." Zak managed to put the hoodie on Rocco. He held the lantern and giggled a bit as Rocco snuggled up against him.

Darryl felt his heart flutter at the scene, and smiled. These two were being adorable, but he couldn't help but admire the raven haired boy for a moment. The glow from the lantern made his smiling face look brighter and more radiant. He would take his picture right now if he could.

Other than his adorable looks though, he was taking a moment to adore him just being... him. Tonight was pretty terrifying, no doubt about it. And yes, sometimes he would be such a ragamuffin and scare him even more. But despite all that, Zak also managed to make him feel happy.. comfortable.. loved...

"Earth to Darryl? Why are you staring at me you weirdo?" Zak laughed. Darryl barely snapped out of it and murmured out loud.

"Zak, have I ever told you that you're the light of my life?"

Zak was caught off guard as he felt the heat rise up to his face. "Wh- How-" He started laughing at the flirtatious pun and looked away. "Since when have you learned to talk like that?!" He usually wasn't the one to be a smooth talker.

Darryl beamed when he realized he successfully managed to fluster him. He was proud, but also a little embarrassed that he managed to say that out loud. He decided to push a little further.

"Since I realized how much I loved you."

Zak brightly laughed a little more. "Okay, no." He smirked as he pulled Darryl closer to him. He cupped his face as their noses touched, instantly making the taller one's face go red.

Darryl went completely silent as he wrapped Zak into the blanket with him, hiding his flustered face into the other's hair. Zak faintly giggled, hugging him closer.

"Stick to being cute..."

[End]

Typing the creepy bits while listening to eerie music in the dark was intriguing :D ...

#skephalo #badboyhalo #skeppy #my writing #fanfiction #this took longer than expected #never really wrote horror before so I hope you like xD

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sweetxgxrl · 4 years

Text

“Quick Before Everyone Comes Back” - Zane Hijazi

Everyone had met up at Davids house for a big movie night. We were all sprawled out on the couches and carpet as we watched The Conjuring. I was usually fine with watching scary movies but tonight was Friday the 13th and David had already pranked everyone with turning off the power along with having one of his hometown friends “break into” the house. Most people had left and the couches were clearing up. I was sitting next to Zane, and we were sharing a blanket on the floor. I had gotten so scared after Davids antics that I had snuggled so far into Zane that I could feel his heartbeat.

I had fell asleep sometime during the movie and was completely laying on him. He was laying his head on mine until a voice, which I am guessing was David, woke us up saying the rest of the people there were going to the store to get snacks. David, Natalie, Heath, Mariah, and Matt all left to go to the store once Zane and I said we would chill until they get back. “I swear, if you guys fuck in my house, at least have the decency to film it so I can have some content” David said, making all of us laugh. Zane and I had had a one night stand before, but it was only a one time thing. Everyone knew about it because we talked openly and didn’t really care who knew. They left and I got up to play the movie. Zane had got up to get some water and came back with 2 beers for us.

Those two turned into 4 and then beers turned into tequila shots. After a few beers and a few tequila shots.... maybe a lot of tequila shots, we were wasted. I could barely stand up, but lucky me I had Zane to hold me up. He can handle his drinks better than me, but even he was slurring his words. I was crawling over to the couch trying to be funny and just to do something dumb, while Zane was behind me recording and making comments. I made it to the couch and tried standing but before I could fully Zane came and turned me and picked me up to where I was sitting on the couch. I straddled his waist while his hands went to my ass. He was squeezing my ass, until his attention turned to my neck. He started sucking on my neck. I could tell his goal was a hickey, and a dark one at that. I bent my head back relaxing more allowing myself to feel more into it. I confessed to him one day that one of my biggest turn ons were when guys give hickeys, so I guess he kept that in mind. “Baby you know how easily I get bruised” I slurred out. He stopped and just stared in my eyes for a second. I grabbed the back of his neck and went full tongue. He leaned me back into the couch and my shirt fell toward my face. My breasts were exposed and Zane sweeped his hands down towards them. His phone rang right as the fun was starting and he turned away and went to the kitchen. It was David. They were taking a pretty long time to get back and honestly I didn’t mind. I sat up and faced where Zane was turned away. I flung my shirt off and now my nipples hardened at the coldness of the room. My core was hot and ready for some action.

Zane turned around after taking another shot and he just smirked and came to where I was sitting. He continued talking while bending over the couch and squeezing one of my breasts. I moaned and I heard David on the other end what we were doing. I took the phone from Zane and sloppily said into the phone “David uhmmm-we’re gon....na fuck and I need to haha knowwhereyourrrrr condoms areeeee” Zane giggled and jumped on top of me. He was sweaty but I thought it was hot. I put it on speaker and put it above my head while Zane started sucking my nipples. I held in the moans. David wasn’t telling us where the condoms were. “Dave if we make some irresponsible decisions then itsss on youuu” I heard people in the background saying things about regret but live life in the moment babyyy. “When will you be here, I’m hungryyyy” They said they would be back in like 15 because Natalie thought she lost her wallet but it was in the car. David reminded us to record it and we both giggled and I hung up. I saw Zane and he had slipped his sweatpants off so his dick was out. He still had his white tee on and i climbed on top of his lap making sure to rub my core on him and pulled at his shirt at the bottom. I pulled it off and stood so I could take my shorts off. I had my cute thong on and I sat back down on him.

He layed his head down on the arm rest and gripped my ass hard. I let out a small moan and he smacked my ass. “I couldn’t wait to grab this ass again. I’ve been wanting to for the longest time. You’ve been teasing me.” I smirked and pulled my underwear to the side. “Oh really have I?” I grab his dick and pump a few times. “I’ve been a bad girl” Every time I talk it gets more and more slurred. “I need to be punished hehe” I slide his dick in slowly, and get used to being filled by him again. He closed his eyes and his breathe hitched. “Fuck princess, quick before everyone comes back” Both of us are so sloppy right now that the only thing that could work with is fucking would be me riding him. I leaned over to the table in the middle of the living room and grabbed Davids disposable camera and told Zane to take some pics. I rode him and he grabbed one of my breasts and snapped a pic, obviously not putting my face in frame. He put it down for a second. and started bucking his hips up to meet mine. “God princess you’re so tight” He slowly sat up and brought me in for a deep kiss. While his dick filled up my tight core we made out with deep kisses. He slurred out to put my ass in the air, so I turned and put my face deep in the cushion. He put his weight down on me and he slipped deep inside me. We both were panting now, Zane sweating profusely as he usually does. “Baby I’m not gonna last much longer” Zane let out, trying to keep his moans in. I told him to let his moans go and he let out the hottest, most raspiest moan I’ve ever heard. Zane grabbed my hips and started going balls deep inside of me. He reached for the camera again quickly and snapped more shots but of my back with his dick inside me. I moaned loudly into the cushion as he fucked me through my high. My core tightened and my juices were all over his dick. A few moments later he pulled out and I wanted him to cum in my mouth so I got on my knees. He was suprised because I would never do this when I wasn’t drunk but He kept jerking himself off as I helped him. Right before he came I put him in my mouth and once I tasted his salty liquids I told him to get me another shot. I swallowed and he brought back a tequila shot. I took his shirt off the floor and slipped it on. I put my other clothes by my bag and He slipped his sweats on. We never heard the door open because we were sleeping on each other. Everyone burst in looking for us and found us all snuggled up with each other. They started taking pics and videos of where we just fucked and telling everything that happened. They kept the story to themselves but posted photos of us together. David saw the camera and knew the pictures would develop soon, and he was not ready for what was on there. When Zane and I woke up the next morning and didn’t remember anything we just ate and did dumb stuff for davids vlog, like nothing ever happened.

#zane hijazi #zane and heath unfiltered #zane and heath #zane hijazi smut #zane hijazi imagine #zane hijazi blurb #vlog squad #heath hussar #mariah amato #matt king #david dobrik #zane

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

Text

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 10.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like a scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: x

Warnings: Fight Club! Wohoo, here we fucking gooo.

Word Count: 2.1 K

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Tagging: @charmed-asylum, @jeyramarie, @pantherxrogers

Sometimes all you need in your life is some silence and calm time to think everything through. It’s not like you try to reach some nirvana or shit, but you need to think. Sometimes a thing happens that totally fucks up your perception of reality and you just cut yourself off from the outside world.

You want to just ride to the school on a bike, listening to some music or the birds singing, to feel the wind in your hair and to escape the reality for a slight moment. And when it’s all said and done, you reach the solution you were searching for and your life just continues. Sometimes when your friends try to help you, they just make everything much, much worse than it was before.

You couldn't just stand Rue's rambling about Fezco feeling terrible. She didn't shut up the whole time, so in the middle of the third paragraph and fourth sentence, you got up, pushed your tray to hers violently, rolling your eyes and taking the earbuds out of your bag, walking off the scene. You loved Rue and Jules like your sisters, but that shit was too much for you to handle at that moment.

Naturally, you did not expect to find a friend in Kat Fernandez at that given moment. It did not matter she is a plus size girl - she had so much confidence that even the most popular girls were friends with her.

She silently approached you when she took a notice that you're not talking with Rue for a week and when Ash told you that you’re not talking to Fezco either. You knew each other, but no as much to be called friends.

“Hey, bitch.” - She said loudly in front of your empty table at the cafeteria. You could hear her through the music playing in your earbuds - the entire cafeteria could hear her.

“Hi, Kat?” - You asked her/greeted her. You took the earbuds out of your ears as she and her boyfriend, a slim boy who looked even more tired than Fezco, sat down next to you. - “Do you need my notes from biology or what?”

“Oh, shut up. You're just looking down, bitch, I'm not going to let you sit alone. I’m not a bitch.” - Kat sighed dramatically and all of a sudden, Lexi sat beside you, then Cassie sat at your table as well and the last one to the freak show was Maddy, the mad queen herself.

Excuse you, since when were you friends with those popular girls? You didn't have a single fucking idea. But you were just scared at that moment to make a move against their invasion.

“We heard that shit went down between Fez and you, girl. I’m so sorry. You were as cute as me and Nate.” - Maddy took your hand to her palm, looking you in the eyes, swinging those fake lashes. One more swing and you were sure that they would fall fucking off. That day was too much for you. WHAT. THE. FUCK. - “How are you feeling, babe?” - She asked with too much affection in her voice. They were all fake as fuck.

“I think I’m... Fine. How do you know that? And I didn’t break up with him, I just wanted some alone time.” - You carefully took the hand off Maddy’s palm, ready to run off with all of your food back to Rue and Jules. They were both watching you - Rue’s expression was similar to vomiting and Jules had a brain freeze.

“Oh, you know, the people tell and everybody just adds something to the story. I heard that you’re preggy.” - Kat answered while she was peeling her orange.

“I heard that some of Fezco’s friends tried to cut your throat.” - Cassie added to the flame with a serious tone.

“And I heard that he cheated on you with that ginger from senior year. Is it real?” - Maddy asked with her eyes popped the fuck out, you had a strong tendency to tell her that she should calm those fucking eyeballs down.

“None of these is fucking true. Not a shitty bit. Jesus.” - You sighed with a sour voice and for everything just getting better, Nate fucking Jacobs was heading to your table. You felt sick at that moment and your day was ruined. You could handle bullshit of those primadonnas, but you knew before he came to your table that Nate is too much of an asshole for you to handle.

But you didn't know how much bullshit his manners will cause.

“And we meet again.” - Nate smiled at you while he leaned to kiss his girlfriend’s temple. Oh boy, you never got violent tendencies, but you would swear to fucking God that you are ready to punch him at any moment.

“How pleasurable.” - You gritted, watching him down with a disgusted look.

“So you finally realized what’s good for you?” - Nate sighed and leaned to you. Oh, you were aware of what he is doing. That fucker was trying to make you feel small, to intimidate you because he was that big, strong boy and you were just a small girl. Too bad for him it didn't work.

Also, was that fucker giving you proposals just in front of Maddy or not? You realized in the next minute - Maddy didn't know that you and Nate have already met. At Fezco’s shop. But Kat did. Aaand... She was talking to Ethan, so she did not hear anything that that piece of shit had said.

How could two people be so lonely in a full cafeteria, sitting surrounded by many people? Was it even possible?

“I told you that Fezco is a zero who makes himself look better than he is. There are particularly... Better boys.” - He licked his lips slowly and you felt ready to vomit all over the table. And thank God for Rue at that moment.

"Hey Y/N." - Rue appeared behind Nate's back. - "Can I talk to ya? We... Ugh... Need to talk about dat... Thingy..." - She stuttered. You nodded with grace, grasping the food off the table, immediately running back to your beloved table. - "Okay, ya glad that I saved ya? And holy fuck man, what was he tryin' to do?"

"He's suggesting things. This was for the second time this happened. Fezco would have killed him on the spot." - You looked behind your back, still seeing Nate with his grinning face. At least he was looking into Maddy's face and his eyes were a small inch before being craved out of the eyeballs.

"Well fuck me, fuck ya and fuck Nate then. He heard it. Got him on da phone, so he heard all of da shit." - Rue gave you her hand over your shoulder. You opened your mouth with a scared face. Nathan was dead. - "Now I know why was so pissed."

"You were standing behind Nate the whole time? Jesus fucking Christ, Rue, use your brain sometimes." - You put your tray on the table and sat next to Jules. Jules smiled at you with love and smoothed your shoulder.

"Man, I can't choose when ma bros call me. And he was just checkin' dat ya safe." - Rue muttered when she made the pills into small pieces, mixing it into her yogurt again.

"I should really speak to him, shouldn't I?" - You asked silently, looking Rue to her eyes. She raised her eyebrows and watched you as if you were a dumb fuck.

You didn't even have to go for Fezco to his shop - he was just casually standing outside the school, watching the entrance, smoking a cigarette. He looked even more tired than he did ever before, he was out of his mind completely.

But his face softened when he saw you in your hoodie, just standing there and watching him. Your eyes started to water as you walked to him to hug him. You missed him so much - you missed his smile, his tired baby blue eyes, his scent, and his raspy voice. By the moment he hummed into your ear, you were already crying into the crook of his neck. How could you miss someone so fucking much?

"Are ya alright, baby girl?" - Fezco whispered after a few seconds. You nodded between the sobs.

He was holding you like there was no tomorrow. He would never say that one person can make him feel as much as you did. Any drug has ever made him feel so alive as your presence did, the warmth in his heart basically every time you have touched him and the bliss when you kissed him. ANy drug was as addictive as you.

You haven’t seen each other in two weeks. If you weren't in front of the other people, even he would most probably cry. And Fezco knew that he will cry, he had so many things to be sorry for.

But then you felt him tense up. Nate has left the school, his hand hazily over Maddy’s shoulder. You could see Nathan’s face go a bit paler when he saw you with Fezco.

“No, no, no, baby boy, no.” - You begged quietly, but it was for nothing. Fezco already made his decision. And if Nate wasn't able to accept it the nice way, he needed to understand in the worse way. That was just Nate's decision.

"We are havin' this conversation for the last fuckin' time, amigo. I tell ya. One more gross word on ma girl, one more look at her and you're fuckin' dead. I had enough of ya bullshit, dawg." - Fezco almost run into Nate and caught the hem of Nate's shirt, tearing him away from Maddy who screamed and jumped few feet to the side with her hands over her mouth and watched both of them with tears in her eyes.

"Do you even realize that all of those people can just tell that you were threating me? Or you're too dumb for this, you ugly fuck?" - And that was that. Nate fell on the ground when Fezco gave him a good hit to the jaw. Everyone was watching their fight. Nate was obviously winning over Fezco with his tall American football body.

But Fezco wasn't willing to give up that easily. He was fighting for your dignity and honor at the moment. Fezco couldn't just lose. In the end, they both stood three feet away from each other. Fez's white polo shirt was bloody as hell, his knuckles were violet and he couldn't open one of his eyes. And Nate didn't look any better. But you and Maddy were quick to stand between them.

"I told you that you shouldn't do that. He's going to the police and you'll end up in jail." - You whispered and took his face to your palm gently.

"What the fuck was that? Are you kidding me, Fezco? What the hell?!" - Maddy yelled at you and you wanted to tell her that you're sorry, but Fez was faster.

"Try to tell yo boy that he shouldn't try to get another girl's panties when he has a girl. Go on. This happened twice." - Fezco answered and spit our blood on the pavement. Maddy stood straight for a second before she turned to Nate, she started to scream in Spanish at him - she was talking about some sex tape and releasing it. You and Rue took Fezco to the car before the teachers could see anything before any trouble could start.

"How could ya be angry at that angel?" - Rue laughed our loud and shove a few strands of her hair behind her ear while she drove the car. Jules sat next to her and you were in the backseat with Fezco's head on your lap. He was watching you and his left eye was crying. You couldn't tell about the other one clearly. - "He just fought with Nate fucking Jacobs. For ya. You're hella lucky."

"And he almost got himself knocked out. But he's my brave warrior." - You ran yours over the short hair on his head. Yeah. You loved him. No matter if he was a dealer or not, you loved him. And he had no problem with fighting other guys just because of you.

So you didn't have any talk. You just... Accepted the fact of what source of his money was. Because that's what people who are completely blind with love do.

#fezco #fezco x reader #fezco euphoria #fezco hbo #fez imagine #rue bennett #rue euphoria #kat euphoria #maddy euphoria #cassie euphoria #lexi euphoria #jules vaughn #jules euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria fanfic series #mount everest ain't got shit on us

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tiny-smallest · 4 years

Text

i always thought i might be bad (now i'm sure that it's true)

Rating: G Characters: Steven, Rose Quartz Warnings: Mildly disturbing but despite his issues there are no suicidal themes here because despite having sunk really low the entire point of this is that he doesn’t want to die Description: When he was little, Steven thought his mother was something of an angel. When he got a little older, he looked into the light she blazed upon the world and felt the cold shadow her memory cast on him, the million and one ways he failed to measure up. By the time he confronted the fake image of his mother in her room, he wondered if he existed at all, if Rose Quartz's gem being wiped clean of her had truly left any room for him, or if one day he would wake up and be her, again. In that way, and in her looming memory, she had become his prison, a prison he? She? Had done to herself.

But one day a video call gone wrong with Peridot and Lapis brings up a horrific second possibility: maybe he was her prison.

Also on AO3!

---

Steven remembered, only vaguely, the first time he saw his mother.

He was four, maybe five, and he sat on the floor in Mrs. Vidalia's garage, chubby little hands gooey with paint. There was music off to the side; his father, Steven supposed in hindsight looking back.

He was smacking his hands against a canvas, and he remembered that viscerally- the texture of the paint and of the canvas.

But what he really remembered, the thing he actively tried to hold onto, was his father's gentle voice calling him, and looking up, and Mrs. Vidalia and his dad pointing to the painting she'd just finished.

He remembered thinking she was the most beautiful lady he'd ever seen.

---

By the time he was ten he was enamored with her. She was something both adored and forbidden, something brought up only on special occasions or in hushed whispers or through slips of the tongue. He lived for more of her story, fed to him in piecemeal installments, and was grateful that his father gave him them so easily when it occurred to him to do so.

He wondered years later, if he'd just been more candid with his father, if he could have heard about her more frequently. At least from him.

She cried because she loved so much that seeing others in pain brought her pain. That made his heart jolt. That was just like him! He cared about everyone too, and it always hurt so much to see them hurt! He'd felt it just that day, even, watching Amethyst dance around the edges of the cliff face, the thudding of his heart matching her steps, tears burning his eyes at the thought of her falling.

But when push came to shove and she really did fall and get hurt, he couldn't do it. He couldn't seem to make himself cry. It was like hearing that his mother could cry tears that healed people had robbed him of all his own tears, despite the awful feelings welling in his stomach.

Why couldn't he do this one simple thing? He cried all the time! Pearl herself pointed it out! He was still such a dumb kid and he cried over everything, like commercials and snakes and ice cream. Why couldn't he cry over Amethyst getting hurt!?

And when he did finally cry, nothing happened. It wasn't his tears that saved her life. It was the other Crystal Gems.

He failed to cry. He failed to have any healing magic in his tears when he did finally cry a hair ahead of it being too late. He failed his first mission at the Lunar Sea Spire. When he healed Connie's eyes and healed Lapis's gem, he thought he was finally making progress, only for it all to slip out of his fingers. A single silly lie was all it took to topple him? Really, Steven? No, instead he had to use tape to fix the geode. It was fine that Dad needed the tape, but Dad was human. He was a gem. Mom wouldn't have needed tape.

Failed, failed, failed.

That night after the test (that he passed but didn't deserve to pass but, thinking back to the choice he'd made, maybe he'd passed the most important test of all, somehow?) he sat underneath her portrait and stared up at her, the soft moonlight pooling on the floor around him but not touching him, the wall where her portrait hung in the way, and felt very small.

He was never going to be as good as her.

He did try, though! He tried so hard! Sometimes it came naturally, like when he helped people, or was just nice to them, and they were nice back, and somewhere amid all the warmth and joy of friendship and family hummed a happy little thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something good about him despite everything.

Even if he was never as good as her, at least he had that.

---

Lately he wasn't sure if he existed.

During the day the thought felt far away most of the time, but every once in awhile at night he would remember the way Jasper looked at him, feel the stark, cold terror of her gaze freeze him from the inside out all over again. Sometimes it was the memory of when they first met. Sometimes it was her as Malachite. Sometimes it was her gaze shot back at him over her shoulder as she turned to face him, Lapis's horrified face just barely visible behind her.

But for the past week it was her eyes as they lost lucidity, teal spots and spikes overtaking her body. Her shriek.

A trembling hand touched his gem and then flinched back.

He wasn't sure when the idea occurred to him. Maybe it had always been there, buried deep inside him (buried, like the truth-) and recent events made it too big and too painful to ignore, like right now, in the otherwise peaceful quiet night.

Nobody knew what he was, exactly. Or what he needed.

How did they know he was even him?

He had Rose's gem. That's what they called it, sometimes. His mom's gem. Other times they called it his.

What if they were both right? How did Mom giving up her physical form even work, exactly? And that's what they called, it, too- her physical form. Not her life. Her physical form.

Gems didn't get a lot about humans, even the Crystal Gems, but he was pretty sure they used 'life' as an everyday word. If she gave up her life to make him, wouldn't they say that instead?

Heck, even Dad had said that phrase to him once! Did they just want to avoid the word 'die' that much?

Did they phrase it so specifically to avoid saying anything they didn't know was the absolute truth, so they would never technically lie to him?

Was she really gone completely?

Sometimes, you even sound like her... Do you remember this place? Do you have any of her memories?

Maybe the questions Pearl should have been asking were 'did you somehow wipe your own memory' and 'why did you do this to yourself.'

Shattered someone. She shattered someone. She shattered someone and now... where did that leave them all?

He (she? he? she?) wished for a lot of things, once. To know the Crystal Gems better, to be in control of his powers-

Powers, he realized with a startle one day as he erased a save file on his video game (and found himself idly wishing he could forget the game entirely so he could experience it fresh again) that he was supposed to be growing into- and wasn't that what she wanted? Wasn't deleting her own memory just... a real life version of what he'd just been doing?

Erasing her save file to make room for a new one, to experience it fresh- to grow into her abilities and into the world instead of having it all foisted upon her.

Steven buried that game under everything else in his collection.

'Why did you do this to us?'

Steven (Rose?) had wished for a lot of things once, but now all she (he?) wished he (she?) had was an answer.

A prison.

This was a new possibility, one he hadn't considered until he righted Connie's laptop and found to his intense relief that Lion had knocked it over onto the safe landing space of the couch.

In the cooldown over being grateful that Lion hadn't seriously damaged something so personal to his best friend and that Lapis was feeling okay after such a raw, sudden spike of terror had ruined her afternoon, Steven found himself feeling bad all over again about what Lapis had gone through. She was a little rough around the edges maybe, but she was a good person. She hadn't deserved that.

As much as dropping everything to get to the barn had been inconvenient, he couldn't begrudge her the reaction she'd had. That must have been so scary, to think someone was putting Steven through what she'd experienced. Her eyes always went hard and kind of foggy at the same time whenever she talked about it; it was no wonder she'd lost her mind just now. Being trapped in something for years and years, in a prison nobody could even see you in, god, he couldn't even imagine-

W-where's your gem on this thing I-

Right here, he thought automatically to the memory of her scared voice, her frantic eyes, and he touched a hand to his gem as he closed Connie's laptop, and somewhere in the thought and the physical touch an awful, awful, connection was made.

Right here. Right here, in his belly. Where it had always been.

His gem. Her gem?

How did giving up her physical form even work?

What if it had in exactly that way. In exactly just insofar as her physical form.

Nausea took over his stomach. A haze of fog settled into his head. Cold fingers gripped his heart and squeezed until there was no more air in his chest.

A gem's whole being is their gem. Their body is just hard light and magic. Giving up her physical form meant giving him her gem but did it mean she stopped existing? Gems didn't stop existing when they retreated into their gems to heal. They were still themselves, inside their gem. Lapis didn't stop existing when she was embedded in the mirror; why would Rose stop existing when embedded in a human?

Was he her prison?

He ran to the bathroom and threw up.

For the next few days he drifted in and out of a fog, smiling at cues, nodding through conversations. He didn't talk to Lapis, but he thought about her baseball bat, how the solution was to smash the mirror, the laptop. He closed his eyes in the shower and didn't touch his gem.

But eventually Steven found himself sitting in the bathtub, feeling too tired, too heavy to stand up. Had he taken his shower? What time was it? What day was it? He didn't know the answer to any of those things.

After what must have been at least a week since the initial thought, he finally laid trembling fingers against the smooth surface of the jewel he had no right to be carrying around inside him. He traced the facets, watching the clear, brilliant pink gleam in the light. It was a little dull. He hadn't been keeping up with his daily grooming routine, giving it the attention he usually did. If I polish it, he thought blearily, my face will reflect in it, but that doesn't make it anymore mine.

Actually won't that just make it a mirro-

He gagged and clapped his hands over his mouth instead.

After a moment he eased his hands from his mouth and back to his gem, tracing his way down the sides to where the hard rock met his skin. He poked his belly a little, watching the way his finger made the indent in his roundness. He traced his way back from his flesh to the gem.

Flesh. Gem. Human. Magic. The mirror was smooth against the back of his hand. Ripping Lapis out had been hard.

He gripped his gem experimentally in one hand.

It was warm against his palm. It was always warm, even when the rest of him was cold, like after a long dip in the ocean when it was freezing, or a day outside playing in the snow. Somehow it was still always warm.

He set Lapis free. He should set Rose free, too.

I can't.

His pulse, or maybe his gem, thudded against his hand.

I can't.

He didn't know how he knew, but he knew that he needed this gem. Would removing it kill him? Would it erase his memory somehow? Split his consciousness in two? He didn't know. But he knew--maybe in the same way young humans know they need blood without being told--that he needed it. To pull it out would be to destroy his own existence, one way or another. He thought of how he flinched as Lapis's gem finally came free and the mirror jerked and spat shards everywhere, and his grip on the pink quartz in his stomach tightened.

He liked being alive. Or at the very least he liked his own consciousness. Liked being him. If asked if he loved himself he would answer without hesitation because of course everyone wanted to hear he did even if he didn't, but love and like could be two different things, right? He could like being himself the way humans liked having blood, and hearts, and lungs. It didn't mean he had to love his failures or his weird body or any number of things.

And besides, he could love how he helped other people, how he was kind and gentle and how he tried to be good, how that affected others-

Lapis's exhausted face, stumbling steps, the way she grabbed at his hands and smiled at him, weak and grateful...

Except that was all a lie wasn't it?

He couldn't take his gem out. He didn't want to take his gem out. His breathing grew harder, faster, sweat rolling down his face the more he thought about pulling, the more his fingernails dug into the jewel, scraped against his gut, his soul. He didn't want to take his gem out.

He didn't want to set her free.

He wasn't willing to break the mirror.

So he stood up, showered, dressed, crawled into bed, buried the whole night deep, deep under layers of quilts and fine, fine, I'm fine, we're fine.

Three days later he heard the story of the gems kidnapping him (guys seriously why didn't you just talk to Dad, he groaned in his head) and how all of them, Pearl specifically, so selflessly decided that Steven's life mattered more than Rose's wants. More than their wants. Her hand had touched his gem, but only seconds after her fingers tightened, she stopped. She could have had Rose back right then, but she stopped. Steven sat frozen through that part of the story. At least the whole thing had a gentle ending to soothe him a little. And wasn't it lovely, to think about how much they all grew!

After the general merriment and amusement had died down he excused himself to the bathroom to lift up his sweater and stare at what lay beneath. They didn't do it. They had no right to decide to do it, he supposed, not when it wasn't their lives in question. But he did.

He did and he still couldn't do it.

Selfish.

He was pretty sure that made him bad.

---

I forgot to copy this over from where I posted it originally oops. Here’s the original closing notes:

I've been picking at this for ages and ages because Youtube has been recommending me White Diamond's... speech? Verbal abuse tirade? At Steven for like, a solid month now, and I watch every single time, because it is chilling as hell both in just the possibilities she puts into the world (that thankfully aren't true but still, yikes) and in how it turns out she knew the whole time that Steven was Steven all along and just didn't care about ripping him apart if it got her Pink back.

Somewhere in all these rewatches of that scene I realized it's entirely possible Steven doesn't just fear that he's somehow literally Rose with severe amnesia, and then I remembered Lapis and the mirror. I have no idea if Sugar did that parallel intentionally but Steven's a smart kid. He probably picked up on it himself.

And since my other wips are all about Steven and his dad and Greg and Rose, how about a story about Steven and his mom.

#steven universe #su steven #steven quartz universe #su rose quartz #rose quartz #steven universe rose quartz #my writing

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marvinswriting · 4 years

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Chapter Two- TSS

Previous chapter, here; Master post, here Regina-centric, TW: extremely mild blood mention

"We probably would have been friends a lot sooner if Janis was more trusting and Regina stopped feigning indifferent," Aaron said.

Janis scoffed. "Do you blame me?"

"No," Aaron says shaking his head. "But my point still stands."

"I want to tell the next part of the story. Janis is gonna be biased." I say.

"Jains? Biased? No." Damian laughs.

"Hey!"

Dying for 15 seconds is scary.

People tell about how they see god or how deceased relative says it's not their time and it all seems whimsical and heavenly.

Nobody mentions the fear.

Knowing you're gonna die. Not knowing you could wake up.

Regina doesn't remember much. One minute she was screaming at Cady, trying to ger her voice to travel to the tall girl. The next minute was pain, flashing lights, sirens, her own blood.

Regina shuddered at the memory as she walked down the hall. She was on a mission right now. Ever since Regina woke up in the hospital she was filled with a sense of gratitude which was slowly being replaced by guilt.

Its funny how getting brought back from the dead can show clarity to how fucked up you were in the past. Regina wanted to fix that.

It was her study hall period and she had hoped to talk with Janis, but the girl wasn't there.

This meant with Regina's luck she was with her giant friend, Damian and she wouldn't even get near her for the rest of the day.

If the tiny artist was with Cady she might have a chance, but it would still be slim.

Regina looked around the tiny halls anyway, determined to right her wrongs.

She knew she couldn't fix the years of trauma she caused, but she wanted to apologize. Janis truly was a good friend, it was Regina who fucked up the close bond they had.

The plastic turned down a hallway and froze to find Janis sitting against the wall drawing in her sketchbook.

It was so easy to think about apologizing, but now that she had the chance, all words seemed caught in her throat.

She opted to silently walking over, sliding down the wall across from the girl.

"Hey." Regina said softly.

Janis looked up, clearly not pleased to see her there. "You should be in class. Leave me alone."

"You should be in class too," Regina said. There was an edge to her voice she was trying very hard to keep down. She didn't want to get defensive. "I wanted to talk."

"I'm not in the mood, Regina." Janis went back to drawing in her sketchbook. Regina knew this wouldn't be easy, but she had expected Janis to at least hear her out.

"I'm sorry."

Janis looked up with obvious disbelief. "Uh-huh."

"I'm serious, Janis." Regina turned her palms up, holding her hands out in defense. "What I did was so fucked up, and I can look back now are see that. And I'm not even talking about the years of bullying and hell I put you through."

To Regina's relief, Janis closed her sketchbook, looking closely at the girl in front of her. Her eyes trailed around Regina's face as if looking for any sign of a prank. When she decided Regina was in the clear she spoke. "Continue."

"I was scared. I know its no excuse. People started rumors that we were dating and- I thought maybe if I threw you under the bus and stopped talking to you the finger wouldn't be pointed to me-"

"And it worked." Janis cut in. Her voice was low, mixed equally with hurt and disinterest. It was a tone Regina recognized using herself all too much. The I-care-and-I'm-ready-to-cry-but-not-around-you voice.

"It worked," Regina repeated softly. "But at an awful cost. You were my best friend Janis. I was terrified. When I saw that I was in the clear- I couldn't stop. I needed to make sure I stayed in that clear. And it was so wrong of me. I'm fully aware a thousand apologies can't change my past actions. But I want to change to make my future actions better."

"Are you changing for me or for you?" Janis asked pointedly.

"What?"

"Sounds to me like you have a guilty conscious to clear. I don't think you're actually sorry for me."

"Janis-"

"No, Regina." Janis cut her off. "Not only did you out me to the school, but you also outed me to me. I wasn't even sure of myself yet. I didn't get to make my own decisions on when I came out to people because it was made for me before I even knew my own sexuality. I bet you didn't think of that. Yeah, you're right, the bullying and the homophobic slurs where a shitty touch, but don't pretend like you know what I went through." Her voice while started angrily, was straight-up venomous by the end. "I don't know what you earn from fucking with my feelings with a fake apology, but I'd appreciate if you stopped."

"The apology wasn't fake." Regina said softly.

"Okay, then what were you hoping to selfish earn from it."

"Nothing," Regina said. And it was honest. "I died Janis. I've been given a second shot at life. I'm not overly religious but I do think it's a chance to fix the awful fucking mistakes I made. I truly feel so fucking bad. I am one hundred percent aware that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. And I'm not. All I'm asking is that you actually think about my apology. I do want to fix things."

Janis was quiet for a moment, staring at the hallway floor beneath them. "Sure." She said finally. She shoved her sketchbook into her backpack before looking at Regina. "I still don't trust you and would rather you stayed away though."

Regina nodded. "I understand."

The bell rang, causing them both to jump.

Had they really been sitting here for so long?

Janis mumbled something that could have equally been a goodbye or a fuck off.

Regina knew she had a lot of work cut out for her. She also knew it was very likely she would never be Janis's friend again. Even if Janis forgave her, her giant friend definitely seemed like the overprotective type. Not that Regina could blame him, she had given him every reason to be in the past. Regina swung her bag over her shoulder, walking to the tiny pick up the zone with a new sense of purpose.

Her first opportunity to prove herself came not ever three days later while walking through the giant halls with Gretchen and Karen. They were walking slowly, taking in the halls. Regina almost didn't hear it over the buzz of the hallways, but there was no way to miss the cocky tone owned by none other than Shane Omen.

"Wait." Regina said, tugging a strand of Karen's hair. The blonde immediately stopped. Regina turned to where Shane stood in front of Damian who was protectively holding Janis close to him.

"Hey, Shane?" Regina called, snapping the bully out of whatever homophobic insult rant he was on. "Please shut the fuck up. You're presence is giving me hives."

Shane looked like he wanted to retort something, but Regina placed her hands on her hips, a typical challenge of power for her. She was the queen of this school and Shane wasn't dumb enough to try and pull something.

"Whatever." He said before stalking away.

Regina eyed Janis and Damian for a moment, watching them both visibly relax. She made eye contact with Janis but didn't say anything to the artist.

"Okay," She said, tearing her gaze of the girl and facing forward again. "We can head to class."

It was a small action, yeah, but it was something she never went out of her way to do before. It was something she should have done a long time ago. And she knew Janis could recognize she tried from the look on her face that day.

It was a week since she last tried for English after school help. Regina wasn't one to stay after for classes, but she needed to turn her grades around fast. But when she walked into the room to see Janis and Aaron sitting at opposite ends of the room and no teacher, she groaned.

"Are you kidding me?"

" 'fraid not," Janis said, not even looking up from her sketchbook.

Aaron just shook his head with disappointment. "I gotta pass this class but I can't do it if the teacher doesn't stick to her word."

"Glad it's not just me," Janis says looking up.

"Oh please, book smart award-winning artist cant do English?" Regina snarked, rolling her eyes before catching herself. "Sorry." She added in quickly.

Aaron's eyebrows raised like he's never heard a genuine apology from Regina before.

Probably not.

"I'm failing from skipping so much if you must know everything," Janis said tensely.

"Okay," Aaron lifted his hands out, trying to defuse a quickly heating situation. "We're all in the same boat, why don't we study together?"

Regina and Janis stared at each other momentarily before shrugging.

"Sure." Janis got up, moving to a desk closer to the center of the room, Aaron doing the same. Regina sat down as well, pulling out her notes.

"So, Janis is failing because she doesn't come to class, I'm failing because I can't be bothered to do the work, and Aaron is failing because he doesn't understand it. How are we supposed to help each other?"

"Mutual needs," Aaron says. "I need you to to help me understand, Janis needs to go to class in order to explain to me, and you need to do the work to help as well."

"Sound like you get more out of this than us, but sure soccer boy," Janis said, but she grinned despite the insult. "So what are we learning about right now?" She started.

"The teacher never showed up if you were wondering," I say.

"None of us were surprised though." Janis shook her head. "She skipped class more then I did."

"And that's probably saying something." Cady laughed.

tag list! @musicallygt @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

#if youre reading this tag go drink water #tiny support squad #g/t mean girls #tiny janis #tiny regina #tiny aaron #giant damian #giant karen #giant gretchen #giant cady

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choupichoups · 5 years

Photo

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.11

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

Lucas watches the numbers on his notifications blow up. Ten, fifty, a hundred— mostly messages from curious strangers inquiring about the status of their relationship. Lucas doesn’t understand how any one of them would think that Lucas would spare them an answer.

He messes with the settings until his direct messages are only open to the people he follows.

Eliott’s been silent for so long, even on social media, that everyone’s frantically latching onto this update on his story— Lucas included. But he doesn’t understand. He listens to the song over and over, looks up the lyrics to make sure his English isn’t failing him, and ends up back on Eliott’s story.

The song can’t be directed at him, right? Lucas can’t think of anything that went wrong the last time they were together. Well, everything went wrong but nothing between the two of them.

Honestly, it’s evident that something suspect is happening when he saw Idris post something on his account the day prior. Idris had told him before that both he and Eliott shut off their technology whenever they have to seriously work on a project so why is Idris available for contact but Eliott is not?

lucallemant Is your project going okay?

idrisomd What project?

lucallemant The one Eliott said you guys need to work on? His phone’s been on airplane mode no?

idrisomd Oh yeah, that project Uhhhh Maybe it’s better if you ask him?

lucallemant Haven’t seen him since Saturday

idrisomd oh

lucallemant Was there even a project at all?

Lucas isn’t dumb, he’s had a bad feeling about this whole project thing three days into Eliott’s abrupt silence. There’s just something very strange about the fact that he hasn’t seen hide nor hair of him despite Lucas orchestrating ‘chance meetings’ by hanging around his boyfriend’s building at the most convenient times. It’s like Eliott’s gone airplane mode not only with his phone, but with life as well.

All he needs is confirmation before he can allow himself to get angry at the sudden disappearance— and what a confirmation it is when Idris doesn’t respond to that simple question.

His jittery legs begin bouncing under the table. What did he do to drive Eliott away now? Lucas runs a hand over his face, chewing on his bottom lip. He wasn’t too clingy last Saturday was he? He didn’t say anything scary either like, wanting to adopt two babies or something so he doesn’t know what’s—

Ah. His mother at the clinic. The shouting match with his father.

Did Lucas scare his boyfriend off with his fucked up family?

He gets up from the lounge, determined to get to the bottom of this. There’s nothing he can do to fix it, sitting around making assumptions by himself.

When Idris gets out of class sans Eliott, Lucas steps into his way and Idris jumps about a foot in the air at the sight of him.

“Jesus!” Idris has a hand to his chest, steadily looking more and more afraid for his life the longer Lucas stares unblinkingly up at him. “Shit, I’m innocent, I swear!”

“So there really is something wrong then?” Lucas’ eyes narrow and he moves closer as Idris very visibly struggles for words. There’s something comical about the way the larger boy is trying his best to cower away from Lucas’ gaze but the latter isn’t in the mood to laugh at anything until he figures out what the hell’s up with Eliott.

“Listen, Lucas.” Idris takes in a breath, glancing down at his phone in the same movement but the screen’s already darkened by the time Lucas instinctively looks as well. “Things are a little rough right now.”

“That’s not helping. Why did he lie to me?”

Idris grabs his arm and moves them to a more secluded area, noticing the stares they’re beginning to attract. Lucas doesn’t know what he does but Idris lets out a pained groan when their eyes meet again.

“Stop looking like that,” Idris says, fidgeting restlessly with his phone.

“I can’t control my face,” Lucas retorts. “Did he say what I did?”

“Dude…” If conflict had a photo, it would be Idris’ expression right at this moment. “Talk to him. Please. It’s not,” he sighs, shaking his head. “Just talk, okay?”

“He’s not responding.”

“Fuck, make him respond.” Idris types something on his phone before he looks back out to the hallway. “I have to go. Talk to him, please,” he repeats his own words before leaving Lucas with no choice but to contemplate those obscure words by himself.

And fuck, yeah, whatever, he’ll just go for it. Talk to him it is.

lucallemant Look, I know your project excuse is bullshit And even if it’s not, you kinda gave yourself away with that story Can you fucking respond to me already? I know you can read these

srodulv Sorry, I just needed time to think

lucallemant About?

srodulv Us I think it’s best if we don’t see each other for now

lucallemant You’re kidding right?

srodulv No Sorry

lucallemant Don’t fucking ‘sorry’ me Where the fuck are you we need to talk

srodulv I don’t think that’s a good idea

lucallemant I don’t give a shit Eliott I’m serious Either talk to me properly or there’s no ‘for now’ We’re not seeing each other again ever

srodulv I’m at home

Lucas can’t remember the last time he’s felt this livid.

When Eliott opens the door to his apartment, Lucas shoves in without preamble. He’s a little startled to bump into Emir as he does so— Omar’s also at the side, slowly putting his shoes back on. The two boys don’t say anything, throwing acknowledging nods in Lucas’ way as they put on their jackets. On his way out, Emir shares a look with Eliott and it lasts the entire time it takes for Eliott to close the door back up.

An uncomfortable silence surrounds them once the lock clicks into place.

“So?”

Eliott turns to face him— he looks like shit. Or as shitty as Eliott can look anyway. Lucas still thinks he’s beautiful because of course he’s fallen in love like the massive dumbass he’s always been.

“I already told you over the phone.”

“Well I don’t agree. I think it’s a stupid thing, not seeing each other and all. So convince me.” He’s trying his hardest to sound as confident as he wishes to be.

“I’m just… not sure if we’d work out together in the long run.”

And no, no no no. This isn’t happening to him. Not with Eliott.

“No?” Lucas asks, ignoring the prickle in his eyes. He swallows once, twice— desperately hiding the catch in his breath, the shiver in his voice. “Cause you seemed pretty sure of it when you were fucking me last week.” His voice fails him, cracking in the middle of the sentence. “Is that just… did you just…?”

Eliott’s head snaps up, meeting his gaze finally. But Lucas isn’t sure he wants the contact any longer. Even so, he doesn’t turn away, desperation to fix whatever the fuck is happening between them right now takes priority over the anger simmering in his blood.

“Lucas.” Eliott sounds wrecked by the implication. Good. Lucas hangs onto that last thread of hope. “Lucas, no. It’s not— fuck it’s not that at all. Please never—” Eliott cuts himself off, hands waving about in front of him. “Never think I— you’re more than that. To me, you’re so much more.” He shakes his head, stepping closer to Lucas. “It’s not you.”

Lucas laughs, harsh and humourless. “What the hell am I supposed to think when you’re over here, using that it’s not you, it’s me bullshit? We’re not in one of your films, Eliott. I’m real,” he almost shouts the last word, wanting and needing Eliott to understand. “So please, if you’re going to leave me, at least have the decency to give me a real reason.”

Eliott goes silent, eyes wide like a child caught in a lie. Lucas’ mind swirls at the raw emotion he sees there, doesn’t know what to think anymore when Eliott stands there looking at him like Lucas is holding his whole heart in his clumsy, unstable hands. And yet. And yet.

“I’m only going to hurt you, Lucas,” Eliott whispers, frozen in position just out of Lucas’ reach. “I’m the exact kind of person who can hurt you real bad.”

Well, he’s not wrong about that. “You don’t think you’re hurting me right now?”

“Not like this.” Eliott swallows. “It’s better to end it now before I…” He trails off, looking away, moving only to clasp his hands together. His thumbs run restless circles over the back of his own palms.

“Before you what?”

“You won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

Eliott stops his fidgeting, looking at Lucas with eyes so devastated he looks away, almost takes back his own words if only to remove that look permanently off of Eliott’s face. “I’m bipolar, Lucas,” he says, voice trembling as he continues, “I’ll never be able to give you the normal life you deserve.”

Once, when he was a kid, Lucas had jumped into a pool of water six feet deep, out of sheer misguided courage, in order to prove to himself that he was no coward. The way his world had shrunk into that little bubble of space underwater, and all he could hear was the endless nothingness of the water around him as he recalled everything he’d said and done that led up to that exact situation— it stuck with him. He can still feel it, intensely, the memory clinging to the tips of his fingertips.

It’s strange how he comes back to that place, right now. He’s in Eliott’s apartment and he’s drowning.

“Eliott,” he gasps out, forcing his head out of water, everything around him coming back to life. His own words from the last time they were together haunt him. The way he’d wished, out loud, for a normal family. For normal people in his life. “I didn’t mean it. God, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But you did,” Eliott says, his tone remaining kind. It kills Lucas inside. “And you’re right.”

“No.” Lucas wants to cover the distance between them but a conscious part of his brain tells him he no longer deserves that privilege. “I swear, Eliott, I didn’t mean it.”

Eliott doesn’t look convinced. “Please, just go.”

“No, not like this.” Lucas forces his feet to move forward, barreling past the invisible wall that’s begun to form between them. His hands slowly raise to cup Eliott’s face in between them, his touch the most gentle it’s ever been. “Please understand. I… when I said I wanted a normal family, it’s got nothing to do with my mother, I swear. I would never trade my mama for anyone else but I would give everything to have a— my dad,” he says in a rush, needing Eliott to get him but he’s not sure he’s expressing himself clearly enough. He doesn’t know how to explain himself. “When I said I wanted a normal life I meant that—” He chokes on a hiccuping sob, barely able to keep his tears at bay. But no, he’s not going to start crying now. It’s not about him. “If I could go back in time, I would change so much of my decisions from the past couple of years.”

Eliott softens but still shakes his head. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be a burden for you eventually. I didn’t think it through before. You make me feel so good,” Eliott pauses, leaning into Lucas’ hands. “I was on such a high, I forgot I can’t keep you forever.”

“Why not?” Lucas tries to move closer but Eliott leans back.

“Because everything is temporary,” Eliott says, removing Lucas’ hands from his face. “I don’t want to ever end up being one of the things you regret.”

“You’re not. You won’t be.” Lucas reaches for him again but Eliott brushes him off.

“You only say that cause you’ve never seen me at my worst.”

“I don’t care.”

“How can you not care?!” Eliott pulls away completely, pacing the small space from the kitchen to the living room. “I can’t stand the thought of you crying and hurting like that every time I’m down or manic or whatever the fuck my brain decides to force on me without any fucking warning. You know this shit gets ugly, right? I’m not just going to lay down and sleep it off for a couple of hours. Sometimes it takes an entire week, Lucas. And I won’t always be quiet, I’m going to go off on you for no reason, I’m going to push you away—” Eliott stops for a breath, looking over at Lucas. “But you already knew that, didn’t you? Your mom does similar things sometimes, right? And the thing is your mom isn’t even with you all the time and it still affects you so much. How would you react when I’m the one losing my fucking mind?”

Lucas shakes his head, stepping forward in a desperate bid to get through to Eliott. He doesn’t reach out this time, wringing nervous hands into his sweater sleeves as he shifts around trying to make Eliott look at him. “I can handle it,” he says when their eyes finally meet— Eliott’s gaze is steel but Lucas isn’t easily cowed. “We can handle it.”

“I don’t want you to handle it!” Eliott shouts back, sounding increasingly flustered by Lucas’ persistence. “You should take this as your warning and leave!”

“Well I don’t want to!”

“Why?!”

“Because!” Lucas takes time to breathe, closing his eyes as he reels his temper in. They’ll get nowhere, screaming at each other like this. “Because I’ve never felt anything like this before,” he says in a whisper. “Because I’ll also yell at you, I’ll also do stupid shit, also shut you out sometimes.” Lucas shrugs, looking up at Eliott helplessly. “But all I know is that everything inside me is telling me to keep you and I’m willing to fight for that. I want to fight for that.” He runs a hand through his hair, running out of steam. “So if you think I’m giving up all of this. You. Us. Just because you think you’re not good for me, then you’re wrong. Relationships are a two way thing, Eliott. You can’t just make a decision like this for the both of us. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

A heavy silence follows. Lucas sighs softly, unsure of what else to do to get his point across.

Until Eliott mutters the most quiet, “I need time to think on it.”

And okay, he’ll take that. He’s got time to spare.

Lucas nods, moving towards the door. He’s pretty sure their conversation ends here. But before he leaves, he lingers by Eliott’s side, taking in his hunched shoulders, the way his eyes are trained on the floor. Everything about him screams defeated.

“I’ll give you all the time you need,” he says, soft in the wake of their loaded words from earlier. “But know that I still want you in my life, Eliott.” He pauses, taking in a shuddering breath. “All of you.”

He leaves it at that, walking out the door, out of the elevator, out of Eliott’s building. He doesn’t look back until he’s standing outside, breathing in the chilly evening breeze. He doesn’t realize he’s hoping for something to happen until his eyes are greeted by the empty foyer. There’s a stillness around him that could possibly be peaceful if not for the turmoil knotting in his chest.

If anyone had told Lucas years ago that he’d be standing in front of a boy’s apartment building, hoping for a scene straight out of a romance movie to happen to him, he’d have laughed in their face until tears streamed down his eyes.

And yet here he is, waiting.

But Eliott doesn’t come to chase after him.

Eliott misses school for two days the week following their talk, and then another two days the next week after— he only knows this because Idris takes it upon himself to keep him updated. On a Wednesday when Lucas doesn’t even have any classes to attend, he sees a glimpse of Eliott around campus. He’s surrounded by people, shoulders covered by that signature brown jacket that Lucas infuriatingly misses.

Lucas wishes Eliott would see him, wishes so hard that they’d meet eyes across the field and for Eliott to smile that genuine smile of his, eyes crinkling at the corners. He wishes Eliott would look at him like Lucas is the only thing that matters again.

“You okay?” Arthur nudges him with an elbow, following his line of sight. “How’s it going with you two?”

He shrugs, instinctively unlocking his phone. Eliott hasn’t sent him any messages for the past two weeks. Lucas wants to send something, of course, but he thinks Eliott should be the one to break the silence once he’s ready to go forward with their relationship. If he still wants to that is.

Lucas is starting to have his doubts. “Nothing.”

Arthur sighs, raising an arm to tug Lucas close. “He’ll come around.”

“Sure.”

On the third week of silence, Lucas isn’t sure Eliott would ever come around.

“Lucas!” Erin rushes inside from the front house, startling Lucas from his gloomy thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“There’s someone asking to see you.”

His heart skips a beat, and he almost stumbles out of his seat in his haste to get up. It’s Friday and he’s only here to cover for someone else’s shift but it’d be the best day ever if Eliott’s decided to end his suffering today.

Marco, their pastry chef, barks out a laugh. “Careful, kid.”

“Yeah,” he responds absently, jogging forward to peer through the glass window of their kitchen door.

His heart plummets to the ground when he sees the person waiting by the counter. “Did you tell him I was here?”

Erin’s budding smile drops. “No, I only said I’d check, didn’t know if you went out for snacks or something.”

“Okay,” Lucas breathes out, bidding for his heart to slow its beating. “Okay. Please tell him I’m not here.”

Marco shifts closer. “You okay? You want me to get rid of him?”

“He’s a paying customer,” Erin mumbles, apology all over her features when her gaze meets Lucas’.

Lucas appreciates the offer either way.

“Damn.” Marco grumbles, running a hand over his chin. “Can you handle the front alone? I’ll keep Lucas here to help out with the baking.”

“You really don’t have to—”

“You look like you’re gonna pass out,” Erin interrupts before he can even finish his protest. “I’ll tell him you’ve gone home. He should go away in a few hours, right?”

Lucas isn’t sure about that but he doesn’t want to worry them. “Yeah.”

Erin pushes the door open and Lucas can faintly hear her lying to Raphael for him.

God, what’s Raphael doing in the cafe? How does he know Lucas works here?

He walks back to the couch with surprisingly steady steps, sitting down as his mind reels with possibilities. What the fuck is Raphael doing, trying to barge back in his life like this? The rest of his break is spent panicking in silence but thankfully, it doesn’t bleed into his work when Marco tasks him with frosting the chilled cupcakes. They turn out pretty good, considering his experience in that area is nothing but sometimes watching Manon decorate her stress baked goodies.

At eight o’clock, he has to reassure Marco that he doesn’t need to wait an extra two hours to give Lucas a ride home. The guy has been there since early morning, working overtime to complete a gigantic preorder for an event their customer has the day after. Besides, Lucas knows Marco’s children are waiting for him to get home before falling asleep, as Marco likes to very fondly remind them all the time. At ten o’clock, Erin lingers, kindly offering to take the bus with him until Lucas reminds her that he walks home and urges her out with a simple reminder of that assignment she’s been procrastinating on for the past week.

Alone in the cafe, Lucas doesn’t bother to hide the tremor in his hands.

He calls Yann twice and gets voicemail for both before he remembers that his best friend’s taken off to Bordeaux straight after classes for a family reunion celebrating his grandmother’s birthday. Basile’s fallen asleep hours ago, according to their group chat, after having stayed up three days straight studying for an exam. Arthur would probably come for him but Lucas knows he lives too far away to arrive in time. Champ is waiting for Lucas back home, he can’t possibly waste more time hiding inside the cafe.

But standing at the welcome mat right in front of the door, Lucas gives in, admitting to himself that he’s scared out of his fucking wits.

lucallemant Eliott, I know I said I’d give you all the time you need And I mean it, you can have more right after this But please, can you pick me up at work? I need you please Please

He walks around aimlessly, barely registering his own movements as he cleans up everywhere, making sure everything is sparkling clean and wiped down at least three times before he gathers his things so he can lock up. He makes an aborted move towards the curtains which he’d flipped shut earlier, resisting the urge to check if Raphael is out there, waiting.

It’s ridiculous, it’s been hours.

But he knows. He knows it’s not irrational.

His phone remains silent and a quick check on the app tells him he has no new messages waiting.

Okay, fuck, that’s fine. It’s fine. He’ll be okay.

He fishes the cafe keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door from inside. It’s dark when he steps out, almost pitch black in the late hour. The quiet around him is disturbing, the streets abandoned on a typical Friday night. Locking the door back up proves to be a hassle as his shaky fingers fail to slot the key in twice. Irritably, he swats at his forearm— he doesn’t know if his brain is playing tricks on him or if there are really ants crawling up his sleeves at the same moment.

A couple more tries and the latch finally gives a satisfying click. Lucas stands there, breathing out slowly. It’s still quiet. So, so quiet he almost convinces himself he’s been freaking out over nothing.

Until he turns around and sees the worst mistake of his life.

Raphael shakes his head, tall and imposing in his fucking suit. “You know I hate it when you lie to me, baby.”

Lucas shutters, turns around quickly so Raphael doesn’t get a whiff of his effect on Lucas. If the bastard realizes how Lucas feels right now, it’s over for him. He tries to leave without acknowledging Raphael, wanting to sprint back home but that won’t be a very good idea won’t it? With Raphael on his tail and all. His mind, slow as molasses, can’t come up with anything he can do to get away without revealing anything.

He hears footsteps coming up behind him, leisurely, like Raphael knows he’s got nowhere to go.

“Come on now, Lucas. Don’t be so rude.”

“What do you want?” If he’s going to be stuck here, he might as well deal with it. He gathers all the courage he can muster and turns to face Raphael, but his own voice sounds distant to his ears, as if he’s separated from his body somehow— a spectator of this hellish scene rather than a direct participant.

It’s been over a year since they’ve ended things, on a terrible note, so Lucas doesn’t understand why Raphael would bother to come back.

The man shrugs, standing a safe distance away, hands in his pants pockets. “I thought we could revisit that talk from before, you know?”

“No,” Lucas scoffs, his answer hasn’t changed and it would be a waste of their time.

Raphael rolls his head backwards with a deep, showy sigh. “Stop acting like a child. You’re in college now, Lucas, can we have an adult conversation about this?”

How fucking dare Raphael talk to him like that? Lucas won’t rise to the bait, he’s long been over this. He’s worked hard to fix everything Raphael tore down and yes, it’s a work in progress, but he’s healing. “Fuck off.” He starts walking again to god knows where— he’ll go back to campus or sleep in a fucking church if needed.

It makes Raphael chuckle. “I see. That’s how it is now, huh?” He doesn’t seem to be following so Lucas ignores him. “Careful there, you’re turning into your mother, all mean and moody like that. I heard crazy can run in the family, you know?”

Lucas has fireworks for temper. He’s learned to tone it down as he got older but the one thing that can set him off like nothing else is when people talk shit about his mama. Raphael knows that. Lucas knows Raphael knows that. But he falls for it hook, line, and sinker.

He rushes back to where Raphael is standing, gripping the neatly ironed collars of his dress shirt to pull him down to Lucas’ eye level. “Don’t talk about her like that, don’t talk about her at all, don’t even think about her, you fucker,” he hisses into the space between them, to which Raphael responds with a smile— unkind, predatory. Lucas knows what’s coming but he can’t seem to reign in the anger that makes him act on his most foolish thoughts.

“Ah.” Raphael’s eyes light up like a demon in the night. “I knew you’d come to me.” His hands easily engulf Lucas’ wrists then, close as they are, and starts dragging him towards the parking lot. Lucas stumbles at first, unprepared for the change of pace but he forces his limbs to cooperate after a few heart stopping seconds. He digs his heels on the pavement, pushing back against Raphael with all his strength. The resistance only frustrates Raphael and Lucas barely has time to catch the angry look Raphael throws over his shoulder before he’s being pulled to the side of the building and slammed unceremoniously on the wall so that his back presses painfully against the rough bricks of the cafe exterior. “Stop making me angry, Lucas. I’m serious.”

“Then stop talking to me!” He yells back, impact behind his voice while also hoping for someone, anyone, to pass by and hear him. “Let go!”

Raphael shushes him, soft and amused. Lucas’ stomach lurches and if he’d eaten anything at all he might’ve thrown up right then and there. The grip around him tightens, heavy shackles of flesh digging into delicate wrists and Lucas just about manages to hold back a whimper. “You know I don’t want to hurt you but you’re making things very difficult right now. Do you understand me?”

Lucas wants to cover his ears— he can’t deal with those words. Not now, not ever again. Not with that same gentle, warning tone. A familiar bout of panic takes hold of him, all that time spent rebuilding himself flies out the window and suddenly he’s back to being sixteen, terrified but helpless under Raphael’s control.

“You don’t…” He swallows, knowing he has to be brave. No one will protect him but himself. No one. His breathing picks up, vision darkening around the edges. No one, Lucas. Fucking save yourself. “You don’t get to talk to me like that.” It comes out as a whisper, too weak for what he’d been gunning for but the fact that he’s able to get the words out gives him strength. His vision’s no longer fading but he wonders why everything around him looks so damn blurry.

“Shh,” Raphael hushes him and Lucas strikes his head against the wall behind him to get away from the warm breath near his lips. The movement should be painful but he feels numb to his core. “Oh come on, I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t cry.” Raphael uses one finger to brush against the wetness on Lucas’ cheek. Fuck, fuck, fuck, when did that happen? “Come with me, I’ll make it better, okay?”

No. He’s going to say it out loud. Once he works up the courage. He’s going to. He’s going to.

He doesn’t have to.

“Get the fuck off of him.” That cold voice is a welcome distraction from the suffocating conflict in Lucas’ head. Hearing it brings forth so much relief he barely registers everything that comes after. Through tear blurred vision, he watches Raphael stagger backwards as Eliott roughly pushes himself in front of Lucas, shoving Raphael towards the opposing wall.

“And who are you?” Raphael sneers, tone dripping acid. Lucas leans his forehead on Eliott’s solid back, desperately in need of an anchor.

“None of your business,” Eliott responds, equally venomous. “Leave.”

“I don’t think you understand, pal, but this is none of your business,” Raphael intones, trying for a calmer approach. “He’s mine and he’s not feeling well right now, so can you please move and let me take care of him?” Lucas hears footsteps approaching but he closes his eyes, unwilling to see any more of that man.

Eliott stands his ground. “Nice try, pal,” Eliott practically growls out, and when Lucas opens his eyes again he sees Eliott’s hands clenched into tight, shaking fists. “You can fuck right off or I swear to god.”

Lucas doesn’t hear anything else— he brings his hands over his own ears and squeezes his eyes shut , waits it out until Eliott turns around and wraps him in his arms completely, so tight and all encompassing as if trying his utmost best to hide Lucas from the rest of the world.

“I’m here, I’m sorry I took so long, I’m so sorry, I have you, I have you,” Eliott whispers into his hair, barely audible above Lucas’ gasping sobs. He clutches onto Eliott’s jacket and tries to regulate his breathing but every attempt goes down the drain, washed over by the torrent of emotions rushing out all at once. For a single moment he wishes for that numbness from earlier back, if only so he doesn’t die of oxygen deprivation on the spot.

Eliott tilts Lucas’ head sideways and presses him against his chest, taking slow, deep breaths that Lucas instinctively matches. Under the carefully timed breathing, Lucas can hear Eliott’s erratic heartbeat.

His wheezing tapers off, leaving him sniffling and coughing a little as a strange sort of calm takes over. Eliott, painfully gentle, runs his thumbs across Lucas’ face, wiping all traces of his tears. Lucas doesn’t know how to explain what just happened and he doesn’t think he wants to explain, as a matter of fact.

Thankfully, Eliott doesn’t ask. “I’ll take you home,” he says, glancing at Lucas carefully before the latter offers him a nod in response.

Lucas pulls himself away from their embrace, missing the safety in Eliott’s touch but with his head slightly clearer, he remembers, acutely, the status of their relationship. After everything Raphael’s return has brought back, Lucas’s now hyper aware of what he’s asked of Eliott. God, the other boy must think he’s such needy garbage, sending a message like that. Isn’t that considered emotional blackmail? Even if Eliott’s lost his feelings for Lucas, reading a text like that would still make Eliott rush to the rescue. Lucas knows Eliott’s heart is just soft in that way.

He’s glad the walk home is fairly short. He doesn’t want to keep Eliott later than he has to.

“Thanks,” Lucas says, walking numbly towards the building. Champ must be bored out of her mind. He hopes she ate well— she’s usually good at pacing herself even when he leaves a large amount of food outside when both he and Yann will be out for a long period but sometimes the dumbass gobbles it all down in one go. Hopefully there’s no vomit for him to clean up once he unlocks the door.

Locks on the door.

How did Raphael know where Lucas works? Why did he leave without much of a fight when Eliott arrived? Is it because he also knows where Lucas lives?

Lucas unlocks his door, fiddles with the mechanism a little, and decides he’s going to go out and buy some extra locks just for good measure. Tonight, in fact. He has to do that tonight. He’ll take Champ with him so she can have a little walk as well.

“Hey, how are you?” He murmurs into Champ’s fur when she wobbles over to him, not bothering to switch on the lights. She’s the only one he needs to see anyway. “Sorry, I know it’s late now but we’ll go for a walk, alright? I’ll buy you a snack too.” He clips the leash on her collar but bundles her tight in his arms as he goes back out.

When he gets to the entrance, Eliott is standing right where Lucas left him.

“Why are you still here?” He’s surprised he’s able to string together a proper sentence around Eliott, seeing as his heart has been shattering anew for every time he catches even the slightest glimpse of the boy for the past few weeks. Maybe there’s simply nothing left to shatter. “You should go home now.”

“Lucas,” Eliott’s voice sounds shaky. Lucas can feel Champ’s tail sleepily wagging at the sight of him. “Why are you not inside?”

“I have to buy something.”

“What are you buying? Can’t it wait til tomorrow?”

Lucas shakes his head. “I need new locks for the door.”

“What happened to your lock?” Eliott’s stepping closer, slowly, like how one would approach a spooked animal.

“Nothing, I just want more.” Lucas has his eyes trained on the ground, counting the cracks on the cobblestone as he grapples for something, anything to occupy his mind with. He can’t let it run empty or he’s afraid he’ll stop breathing.

“Where’s Yann?” Eliott’s close enough to touch by now and he lifts a hand to pet over Champ’s little head.

“At his parents’.” Lucas distantly notes that Eliott’s hand is trembling and he wants to hold them, keep them warm, but he’s not sure he’s allowed to. “You should go home, it’s only gonna get colder.” He thinks Eliott says something after that but Lucas misses it— everything around him seems so strange and muffled. He’s inside a glass container with only one eye peeking out. “What?”

“Lucas.” There’s a desperate note in the way Eliott says his name and Lucas isn’t sure what to make of it. He follows the way Eliott’s hands stutter midair, hovering close on either side of Lucas’ face but Eliott doesn’t touch him. “Come back to me.”

What does that mean? “I’m right here,” he responds, meaning for it to be a question but his tone falls as flat as everything else he’s been saying.

Eliott shakes his head, distress loud in his eyes. There’s a voice inside Lucas’ head screaming for him to reach out and comfort Eliott, to erase that pained expression and to try his damnedest to make him smile. The glass around him shrinks protectively and Lucas doesn’t move a limb.

“Okay… okay, you’re sleeping over at mine tonight,” Eliott says, one of his hands flying up to run through his own hair while the other goes to his mouth, biting at his nails.

“But Champagne…”

“She’s coming too.”

“Her stuff’s upstairs.”

“We’ll go get it.”

Gathering everything Champ needs is a quick and quiet affair, with Lucas floating around grabbing anything that looks remotely like something a dog would own. Her food and water bowls are last to enter the bag. Lucas leaves feeling as if he’s forgotten something but the thought doesn’t stick, so he lets it go.

They walk to Eliott’s flat mostly in silence, partly due to Lucas missing half of what Eliott tries to tell him. He can see his lips moving but Eliott has to repeat twice, three times, before Lucas understands what’s being said. It’s a tiring exercise and Lucas doesn’t have anything to respond with anyway, much more content with burying his face into Champ’s soft fur, cuddling into her warmth despite of how small of a space she takes up.

Once inside, he lets go of Champ to let her familiarize with the place while he stands immobile at the doorway, staring at the plant Eliott’s placed beside his bookshelf. It looks like it’s dying. Lucas would laugh but the notion dies before the thought even completes itself.

“Hey.” Eliott’s close again and Lucas lets his eyes fall shut at the comfort of his presence. “Lucas? Lucas, are you with me?”

He’s exhausted. The walls around him are thickening, until he hears nothing but his own breathing.

Eliott sighs, and Lucas feels him brush the hair away from Lucas’ forehead before he shuffles off elsewhere. When Eliott comes back, it’s with a bundle of clothes in his arms and a gentle hand guiding Lucas to the bathroom.

Behind the closed bathroom door, Lucas is forced to face himself in front of the mirror. It’s a relief to find nothing outwardly amiss; his hair’s a little messy and his eyes a little red. But when he removes his clothes and sees the finger shaped bruises forming on his wrists, stark against the otherwise unblemished skin, the bubble around him breaks— sharp pieces of cracked glass lodge themselves under his skin, and he bleeds and bleeds from the inside. Everything around him is suddenly too loud, too bright, too much.

Come with me, I’ll make it better.

“No,” he whispers, hands sliding up to cover his ears, albeit futile, against the phantom words. He stumbles backwards and falls to the floor with a thud but Lucas barely notices the pain that shoots up his tailbone.

Stop acting like a child and listen to me.

There are footsteps thundering from outside the room and a small part of him, the one that hasn’t completely lost its mind, recognizes it immediately. “Eli—” he begins to call out but a nagging thought stops him. No, he can’t ask for Eliott. He’s got enough to deal with without Lucas adding on his own pile of bullshit.

Where’s his phone? He needs to call his mama— wait no, she’s having a rough time already. She has to get better first and worrying about Lucas won’t be of any help.

Yann. He’s probably not asleep yet, Lucas can try calling him again and—

Except Yann doesn’t know the entire story. Lucas had swept it all under the rug after telling his best friend a heavily edited version of how much Raphael had fucked him up.

Fuck, he’s alone. He’s alone. How does he manage to always end up alone?

I’m the only one you have.

“Lucas?” Eliott slams the door open and it startles Lucas enough that it silences the ugly memories running through his head. He looks up to the sight of Eliott frozen by the door, looking wholly unsure and slightly terrified and god, Lucas can’t help it. Just a little bit. He just needs a little bit of Eliott to survive the night.

“Eliott,” he croaks out, but he doesn’t get to finish the thought when tears fill his eyes and spill out uncontrollably like a flooded dam. Eliott rushes to his side, gathering Lucas up in his embrace. In turn, Lucas latches onto him. He’s going to regret this tomorrow, he knows, but for now, he crawls into the space between Eliott’s arms and hides in the crook of his neck, searching for safety. “I don’t wanna go back,” he gasps out. “I don’t. Please don’t let me go back.”

Eliott holds him that much tighter— the strength in his arms juxtaposes the waver in his voice as he says, “I’m here now. I got you. You’re never going back, I’m here. I’m here.”

Are you? Lucas’ tears pour heavier, though he guesses that empty promises are better than no promises at all.

#skam france #elu #elu fic #fictag #slams hand on timer #sorry im late #but look clowns #dedicated to everyone who thought they knew what was coming #chapter warning: mild violence + ptsd symptoms #elu insta au

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